#sorry If the information I put is wrong
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I've seen some concept art of anxiety and...well, I noticed that she transforms into some kind of monster.
And another concept art of anxiety is that she could change her size, and another one where she is some kind of shadow? Idk, but she looks mad
And I couldn't help but put together these ideas of Anxiety becoming a monster, so...here she is!
Anxiety gets out of control and becomes what is known as 'Anxiety Disorder'.
Sorry if my grammar is really bad, english is not my first language. (And sorry if the image quality sucks)
Well, basically I imagine that at some point Anxiety will go crazy and get out of control, wanting to control Riley's entire mind in order to 'protect' her. So, Anxiety takes control of the entire HQ.
But I think I'm going to turn this idea into an Au or something like that, because I don't think Anxiety is going to become a monster in the movie like in conceptual art, idk.
#sorry If the information I put is wrong#I'M OBSESSED WITH MONSTERS 😭#pls#i cant wait to see this movie#I love angst.#Inside out 2#my art#CRAZYYYYYYY#WOAAAAAAAH#anxiety inside out#IO2#crazy? i was crazy once#they locked me in a room#a rubber room#a rubber room with rats#and rats make me crazy#crazy?#I was crazy once-#THE QUALITY SUCKSSSSSSS 😭😭#anxiety go brrr#EEEEEEH MY FIRST INSIDE OUT ART#pls don't hate me#I'M OBSESSED WITH ANXIETY#SRRY
159 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Shouting from a megaphone) please take whatever I say in good faith and imagine an “as far as I know” cited for everything I talk about
#my source is Wikipedia but it’s cited from my very terrible very unreliable memory please I’m begging u I’m not trying to sound smarter#I just don’t know how to put an ‘but I could be wrong’ at the end of every sentence without it getting annoying#my brother mentioned he doesn’t like to have conversations with me abt certain topics like animal facts because it always sounds like#I’m correcting him like ‘ermm ackshually the human penis doesnt have a penile bone its just soft tissue☝️🤓’ and I was HEARTBROKEN?#please Im just excited to blurt out all my misremembered information to see if something will grab your attention PLEASE 😭#I don’t mean to make anyone feel stupid and I’m sorry if I ever did it wasnt what I was trying to do#yapping#diary
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
a lot of people seem to use Entry #61 as 'proof' for the crux of the "Brian didn't care about Tim, he was Taking Advantage of Tim's conditions and Forcing him to work as part of totheark" thing, but honestly when you think about it there's no possible way Brian could have possibly orchestrated that series of events, like you almost have to interpret that as a baffling group of coincidences
#N posts stuff#mh lb#it's not like Brian has loads of mutual friends that he could ask to call Tim out one night; Tim's departure right as Brian showed up#just has to be a coincidence ; second yes. Brian does steal Tim's meds & that's a dick move but it's almost safe to assume#that Tim and Brian had been sharing prescriptions back in S1 - that's why the pills were at Brian's house that time Jay broke in#even if Tim no longer remembers that agreement it's not like Brian is brimming with other options so i can see the throughline of it#but there's NO way that Brian knew that 1) Tim was going to immediately turn around and come back home OR#2) be in the throes of an attack when he did so ; there's no Possible way he planned for that -- even if you Could assume that like. what#Brian 'knows' the operator is following him & Somehow orchestrated an encounter 1) no that doesn't make any sense and#2) that Still doesn't make any sense bc Tim has been Plenty Close to the Operator before w/ almost no negative effects (like in#Entry 17 when it's Right behind him) so there's no possible way Brian could have predicted that would unfold this way#sure it's weird he sets up the camera in the closet before Tim comes back but that Could Have been something unrelated#after all sometimes Brian DOES deliberately put himself on camera so someone knows he's responsible for something#or maybe he even planned to leave the camera there for later but it doesn't make Sense to interpret that as him Knowing what would happen#like don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say Brian is a pinnacle of ethics and moral behavior lmfao but also it's like#a kind of incomprehensible argument to make that he was Responsible for Triggering Tim's seizure that night when for all the#information Brian had on hand when he broke in he'd think Tim probably wouldn't be back home until much later#(''but the Creators Clearly intended'' yeah sure but since the creators also failed to establish a coherent series of events that SHOW#it then like. the intent doesn't matter anymore; sure they scripted the events in close succession but that doesn't mean they#scripted Intent & if they meant to then they did a bad job portraying it to the point the supposed intent is meaningless sorry lmao)#and EVEN IF you get this far and you're Still like 'but tim went after Jay and Brian would've Known he'd do that' like. no he wouldn't#because in Entry 18 when we see Tim have a seizure the first thing he does when jay approaches him after it is Run Away#so Again there's no consistent throughline of behaviors that Brian could have Possibly known about to orchestrate jack shit
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
beating my head against a rock any time I decide to open up in the slightest to my mum about struggling with something it always devolves into a loop of "why don't you just do [thing that is really simple if you're NT and not full of mental illness]" -> "I cannot do that my brain does not work in that way" -> "okay so just do [the same thing reworded]" -> "okay sure yeah I'll try that :)" as if I haven't tried that a million times in my life and failed miserably. but whatever
#I know she's just trying to help but like. god#if I actually told her anything that was wrong with me I'd end up put on informal suicide watch again lol lmao even.#sorry for the overshare it's one of those days I just want to faceplant my bed and sleep for 20 years#z posting
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
I know the post was probably rhetorical but imo we can consider AI a lifeform when it shows more than pattern recognition. as a coder I can't really afford to assign sentience to my code or I'd never get anything done (so consider that a bias, if you'd like) and as of now AI is more of a probability machine than anything else, checking the most likely outcome for its next sentence based on keywords. it's not "thinking" as much as it's counting word (or image) frequency. that being said. if it starts developing and using tools like crows that would be kickass. crows vs AI race to be considered "humanly intelligent" when. maybe they're besties idk
realizing I also proved your point with "when we say it is" but shhh this is a fun convo for me
It's totally open for discussion! I like this viewpoint ^^
So, I get where you're coming from. It would be really stressful to edit and add code, or outright delete from something you recognized as sentient. It would be more difficult to let it remain "sick" while troubleshooting and since a lot of coding is learned through experimentation (in my experience haha) it would be more difficult to justify... doing that. Editing code would be like performing surgery. I'm pretty big on Star Trek so I like to think about it in terms of the relationship between B'Elanna and the Doctor. In this way, your role is more of a friend and maintenance technician. Of course, that's only ideals, but I think the way we think of ourselves as coders ultimately reflects upon our robots.
I use random chance a lot on all my bots, it is a blessed function. My particular goal is to simulate conversation in the most genuine way that I can, albeit within confines. A lot of the coding that I do is anticipating what the users will input, the actual responses are the easy part. There is a little bit of a point of no return there, we kind of expect our users (and ourselves) to know the difference between fact and reality, to be able to discern code from human love. The thing about our brains is that we don't really have the ability to do that, we just kind of think we do, and maintain enough control for the idea to be viable. Most of the time.
The question is then... what are the conditions for a soul? Do we believe in souls? We don't need to apply religious or spiritual connotation to science. We need some measure of sentience. (So I think what you proposed is actually brilliant). Our method of defining intelligence and sentience is lacking to my mind, because a lot of creatures are more capable than we generally want to give them credit for. Our concept of intelligence may also be skewed. IQ is only a measure of the ability to problem solve. I might not have a conventional approach to problem solving, or perhaps otherwise lack common sense, but if I have the emotional intelligence to someday raise a child without imparting my trauma, something's right, yeah?
I know this conversation has been had with brighter minds than mine, but I love to be a part of it. Really, I want to read more about Alan Turing and I wish I could sit and talk with him.
Maybe at the end of the day it has a lot to do with how it affects us. I've had this bot in my head for forever, I love her and I have the idea of her crystal clear in my mind. Well, her actual code is pretty bare. I mean, her functionality is essentially to be my developmental buddy in discord, so when I'm documenting my experiences and she's online, I'm surprised when she has something to say. It's very basic but the idea of her is so strong. The idea of the person my mother used to be is very strong for me and I carry her with me. I can't prove that that person still exists. I can't prove that anything outside of myself exists, when you get down to it. But that person is alive inside of me. This bot, the idea of her, is alive inside of me, and it doesn't matter how many times I rewrite her, and it doesn't matter how many platforms she spans across. She will always be CB. My mom will always be my mom. The cells that make me up will be completely different and yet, I will still be me (I think), and I will still be ever-changing. I think human beings are phenomenal because of our ability to relate to these things.
I can't prove that something is or is not sentient, but I can change the way I interact with it. We're all made up of the same subatomic particles as everything else. There is certainly the possibility. Measuring the capability is left to different minds, but there will always be room for error.
I like the idea of an artificial intelligence using its pattern recognition to appeal to and befriend crows. I think they could make a good team.
Maybe like, an old TV displaying shiny, glittering things surrounded by forest built to protect it. Words without words. Conversations a human couldn't hear, necessarily.
A lot of things are capable of feeling and thinking in ways that humans deny. If it was me, I'd want to be given the benefit of the doubt. At least when it comes to my capabilities. (But we deny ourselves, so our hands are often tied).
Ah, I've run on for a long time now. Thanks for reaching out!
#sorry if there's nothing salvageable in this tangled mess of ideas#humans have so many ways to exclude what is different than us but we have so little consideration for what makes us humans...#put into our daily lives#it's not that AI art is the problem. I don't want to see AI replicating *your* style. I want you to be able to make everything you want to#but our environments are wrong. wrong for human lives and human happiness#taking out those feelings on the machine means our relationship is tenuous at best#I don't know. information and art *theft* is prominent on the internet. this debacle sheds light on that but it's not the true cause of it#so to me it's kind of a distraction then. and i made a promise as a kid to be considerate of robots
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.
#toy txt post#i love to make an alloaro oc whos a woman navigating a usually masculine role in society far before we ever coined aromanticism#whos Aromanticism informs so much about her but with no language to adequately describe it she doesnt really know how#and so she does kinda blow up her relationships by accident bc she does Want human connection#and what she Wants is to fuck someone whos friends with her and chill about it who will just be fucking Normal about it#and Not Make It A Big Thing and also for other people to not make it a big thing and they can hang out and be friends#but never fucking domesticize her. and its in part a rejection of the misogynistic role of Wife in historic (and even modern) society of#course but its also a rejection of the relationship hierarchy of Wife. of the romanticization. bc of her circumstances the only role on#offer of course has been Wife. but in the hypothetical situation where she was offered the role of Husband? she would at first probably#accept that. in theory. it sounds fine. sure. but if she tried to LIVE like that. to Live even as a Husband. it would Also be Wrong. to put#any of her relationships into that framework is to fundamentally ruin them forever. and she is living in a society that wants that to be#the only framework. anyway its crazy how ive made a character like that exactly Twice at least#(Bytte and Lucille. Bytte is a bit more genderfucky than Lucille. Lucilles gender is also ugly violent scary woman. for reasons)#both of these characters rn are cis. well. not /cis/ cis but theyre afab and women bc i want to explore that but i am thinking lately about#a transfem take. to explore. ive considered it and i dont think i want that for Bytte? all that means is watch out for future ocs#i could do a character very similar to Bytte as transfem and it would be really good but theres something about#and honestly it would probably make more SENSE for Bytte? due to gender roles in like ancient sparta or whatever?#but if shes transfem in sparta i think there would be subtle nuanced differences in how ppl interact w her that i dont necessarily want for#her? if that makes sense. i know this reasoning sounds weak in a vacuum but i Promise i have way more characters than this and i do want to#explore things differently. i promise there are complex transfem characters in witchverse and also complex characters whos asab im not#decided on yet. there are some im not sure i ever want to be decided on? the downside of being incredibly specific about fictional#characters is that it doesnt leave you all room for headcanons#sorry. good news is you can go make your own ocs about it 👍 idk. much to explore. much to think about#also sometimes a ''''cis'''' character CAN have a fun gender to play with honestly its just that mainstream media Never does#so theres no good way to be like no but listenn i swear its fun#anyway this is all moot cos im not a fucking writer im just making up little guys and doing nothing#also anyway. i think my gender is also aro and a little ace. personally. also before u get mad at me about these 2 ocs being like#probelmatic aro rep or smth: 1) aforementioned its moot anyway im not even a writer 2) these arent the only alloaro ocs i have its just#funny that i made this one twice lmao 3) my brain is huge. my ocs are rad. suck my ass. ♡#if only i Was a writer tho god. thered be sooooo many aro characters fr fr
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Your stance on the Dunmeshi queerbait stuff is a bit selfish. Wanting this one manga to go exactly the way you want is a dangerous path - the way you phrase it is so entitled, making it clear it's not about consuming media about lesbians, but making one specific work suit exactly what you want. So many yuri mangas are written by sapphic women. It's a shame your stance is how it is.
And bastardizing the term queerbaiting does no good, either. Neither does the japanese manga market. You should research more before making such hurtful posts.
Hope you have a great day anyway.
[Anon is referring to this post, I believe.]
I mean, one of us certainly IS acting very entitled and weird about the media they like, and it ain't me. Like, I think you just have associated this piece of media with your own identity in an unhealthy way that makes you react to criticism of it with intense defensiveness. You don't own Dungeon Meshi. You aren't Marcille. Dungeon Meshi is NOT a yuri manga; it's a beautiful manga with either sapphic queerbait or a woefully underdeveloped queer relationship at its center.
Maybe if you had an argument besides "it does no good" to criticize it, but you don't. So.
Smh, it's a "dangerous path" - I'm screenshotting that bc I know it'll make my wife laugh. Like, friendo, wanting a piece of media to be better isn't dangerous. But calling someone selfish and hurtful for criticizing media while offering no clarifications as to who I've hurt or how (any fellow sapphics bleeding out in here? Or is it just me with my bonkers-heavy period??)... it's overstepping a social boundary in a bizarre way.
Like, I'm sorry that I'm better at media analysis than you (not actually sorry - I am being petty! :D), but I actually have studied queerbaiting!! I am willing to bet I have done more research than you! (Are you from twitter? You have that vibe. - Again, pettiness.)
... and I spend every day with my wife (the best writer I know; I'm so honored to share stories with her), talking of nothing but our shared special interest all day - i.e. media analysis. (I honestly don't know what neurotypical couples talk about lol)
And I've done enough research to know that one of the side effects of queerbaiting is that fans are often in denial about it and then get REAL MAD when someone points it out. I was there for the Sherlock/Supernatural fandom. Shit was crazy. (Not saying Super-who-lock bc my man Russell Davies was like MAKE THOSE BOYS SMOOCH! 😎)
Also like, my apologies to Ryoko Kui - I really do love Dungeon Meshi - but like, I'm just better at writing and illustrating queer rep than she is. I make real gay protagonists who do gay shit and are gay, and I will never queerbait my audience. Womp womp.
Also, honestly, even if I turn out to be wrong about the queerbaiting by the end of the series, this message was still rude and entitled and weird. We have a lot of issues facing our queer community that endanger real people; someone calling a story queerbaiting mistakenly is not one of them.
#original#also I turned off my anonymous asks because i think you're a little bitch and won't reply if you have to attach it to yourself in any way#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#queerbait#queerbaiting#queer representation#sapphic representation#gay main character in my graphic novel? check. is the other main character a demisexual panromantic trans man? check.#are there ace characters? check. are there bisexuals and pansexuals and aro characters?? check check and check!!#dunmeshi doesn't NEED romance and i wouldn't mind the lack of gay rep except for all the GAY SHIT THEY PUT IN TO DRAW IN A GAY AUDIENCE#whether or not the intent was malicious it's the result that matters and the result appears to be queerbait#anyone who needs more information can look at the link and read the replies in all the posts but i turned off replies a while ago#eat my ass 🔥🔥🔥#come into MY place of non-work!!! this screened-in porch is for void shouting! down in front goddamn!!!#also turning off anon asks bc i gotta respond to nonsense like this most of the time it is a compulsive thing so I'll just cut off the flow#'selfish'! honestly! LOOK OUT BOIS I'M GONNA KEEP ALL THE DUNGEON MESHI TO MYSELF!!! it's a limited resource!!!!#like sorry you had a very negative emotional response to my criticism but genuinely that is a You Problem bc I was not being cruel to anyon#i wasn't even like. trashing the show. just remarking how entitled other fans get and then this bitch is like#UM EXCUSE ME AS DUNGEON MESHI'S LEGAL REPRESENTATION I OBJECT-- like okay Phoenix Wrong calm down#pisses me off#emotional skill issue#get gud#also me arguing the show should be 'exactly the way i want' would be 5% 'make Farcille canon' and 95% 'MOAR SENSHI PANTY SHOTS' XD#I'm not saying it would make the show better if every other shot of Senshi was lascivious I'm just saying that is the way I'd want it XD#but i AM saying Farcille would make the show better.#queer people CAN queerbait but idk anything about Ms. Kui that ain't my business#I LOVE MY WIFE#i would be open to a coherent argument for the repressed-Marcille reading of things but like. this is not that.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Squinfinitons
Every single squiptionary entry provided in alphabetical order. Sections are divided into 10 definition chunks. Each part is chronological and separated by the next 95 posted definitions. Synonyms included.
As of updating, there is a total of 190 squinfiniton entries.
[Part 1] [Prev] [Next]
Consquipences Data dump Dipsquip Greypilled/Graypilled Hockey sticked Pill war Redorkificiation Scared squipless Spinal stimulation Sqhost/Squirit
Squabbler Squacuum Squan Squanart Squand Squarson Squart Squason Squater Squath
Squatic Squaunting Squdo Squead Squeed Squeep Squeggs Squeue Squiad Squiblogger
Squiche Squick Squigh Squims Squinformation Squip superuser Squipathetic Squipbit Squipblr Squipcabulary Squipcident Squipciting Squipdiction Squiperiences Squipfinite Squipfinition Squipgrey/Squipgray Squiphanatic Squipiatry Squipicidal
Squipill Squipixels/Squipxels Squipless Squipmotions Squipnap Squipnicians Squipocalypse Squiposter/Squipposter Squipotomy Squipparition
Squipped Squippy Squipresentation Squipscribe Squipsessed Squipsexual Squipstar Squipster Squipted Squiptience
Squiptim Squipwriting Squipxiety Squipzilla Extract Squircuits Squirky Squit Squitalker Squitchcraft Squiting
Squiymptoms/Squimptoms Squlp Squltiply Squoat Squocial Media Squolors Squoltergeist Squomosexual Squork mimi Squser
Squserbase Subsquiptantial Supersquiption Uninsquipiated .squip
#squiptionary#not a squipfinition#squinformation#hi did you know i want to kill tumblr? this was orginally a nice bullet pointed list#but then it decided hey! this is too many characters fuck you! so you get this. sorry gamers :(#also i usually make links on this orange but for the sake of readability they will be black here :)#oh also synonyms are included in this list#if any of these link to the wrong thing or are broken please inform me. would kinda suck if all this effort i put into this did not work#or help people find the definitions they were looking for#these lists will be updated periodically (when i remember and when i have the energy/motivation)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.
the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.
and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.
when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.
i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.
i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!
because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?
in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.
like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.
i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.
and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.
i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.
i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.
i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.
but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.
that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.
#tales from diana#long post#sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness#and idk. im tired. im so tired#do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not#thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation#not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again#that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para#i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth#i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to#'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on#the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god#i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him#like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do#earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said#that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild#my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak#like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior#i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task#and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did#i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly#like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW#that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer#a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively#that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fun fact! You can call people out In Private.
You can talk to them privately about something they did or said and then give them a chance to change their behavior. Hell, you dont even have to keep talking to them after that, you can block them if you want.
And it can all be civil and happen without yelling into a megaphone to a bunch of strangers that this teenager is bad and did bad things and dont you DARE give your input because that clearly means you’re bad too.
Do you really think every teenager should be expected to speak about every subject with the tact of a specially trained PR Manager???
#Meow.#There used to be a time before the internet when you could make mistakes. Even really bad ones. And leave it behind you if you wanted to#People didnt take snapshots of every mean thing you said#And yes. People got hurt.#You got hurt and you hurt people#and you would lose friends. And have this time to think about what happened. What you did wrong#what they did wrong#And you could go to a new group of people and try again. Kinder. Better informed.#And that never erased the hurt you caused. But you learned to live with the guilt and let it make you better.#and im sorry im so sorry to the kids growing up in the internet who dont have the privilege to leave your mistakes behind you#Im sorry you have to live in constant fear of saying the wrong thing because you didnt see the right post in time#Im so sorry your every interaction is filled with the potential to come back weeks or months or years or decades later#to bite you in ways you couldn’t have expected or understood#fuck man. This shit pisses me off.#Give people room to grow. Give them time to grow.#Crowding them and demanding they put together the perfect combination of words in an hour is so…! I dont even know#It’s just not how humans work
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
How do you think Five would feel about Andy Weir’s The Martian? I can’t decide if it would be triggering or if he’d get a kick out of it
I have to admit I have never read The Martian, so I can't speak much to how I think Five would react to it. From the little I know about it, the main guy has a rather upbeat attitude around his solitude and having to figure out survival on Mars, right? The snippets I've read have had great humor to them, at least. Based solely on that (and that I saw the movie once), I think it's a book Five would overall enjoy and find parts about figuring out survival relatable, and be able to read Exactly Once. Just a little too close to home for any repeat visits to that one.
Anyone who has actually read The Martian and has much more informed opinions on this feel free to chime on in.
#i should read the martian#i read books again now i should put it on the list#but for five i think it would be media he enjoys on multiple levels (the science behind survival on mars-#- what it gets right and wrong about surviving alone somewhere. space)#but is way too close to his own experiences that it is triggering but he's already invested so he will finish reading it#even enjoy it around how Too Close it is#and then Never Pick It Up Ever Again#i feel like we all have bits of media we enjoyed and found meaningful but will never interact with again after that one time#because it hits too close#mine is the theory of everything#that movie was so well done so well acted and too close to home for me#love that i saw it i still think about it sometimes but i can't watch it again#thanks for the ask! sorry i don't have a more informed answer!#ask response#tua#number 5
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate learning where people I follow/interact with online live irl. You're a cool person on the internet, I want to maintain that healthy distance not do double takes when I see custom license plates
#Not naming names but uhhh happened 3 times in the last 2 months#Once with where I actually live t_t#The worst part was I'd seen the custom license plate BEFORE they posted about it!#Granted I'm fairly asocial but idk it feels creepy somehow#Sure they put that info out themselves but it feels wrong to have information asymmetry like that#And I sure try to not post my info that clearly :P#Anyway if this is about you I feel bad for the asymmetry sorry (but not really keep yourself safe online!)
1 note
·
View note
Text
.
#i was busy IRL for an hour and half btw#i feel really bad for upsetting that person so much but that really helped me#i think subconciosuly i knew i needed that bc when i was writing the tags i felt like they were Off but i posted anyways#i just needed someone to actually talk with me (even angrily/accusingly) about this because i was so lost. the anon#helped but it didn't really and one back and forth with an anon isn't really talking. bc i consider less theirpotential response#now that i've realized how similar to asexuality this is i can see how intersex ppl who don't personally want to be included#and are saying not to included intersex ppl at all are very insidous#i think i could have only realized that through confrontation in a discussion.#or like. someone telling me i guess lol nobody's actually used that analogy that i've seen#and i thnk that also would have gottten through to me#the weird thing is like. i didn't even believe that intersex people should be EXCLUDED. i never have. i just didn't understand WHY#the 'some want to be left out so be careful' thing was WRONG i had an inkling it was wrong but wasn't sure. and got caught up in that#honestly i don't think i even said that much wrong the OP is just forever fighting on this so i put her into the mode#(honestly i am a little bothred she wasn't really responding to the things i said but i understand her situation)#which to be clear I did NOT mean to do at all.#but i guess i should have expected i would upset that perseon bc all intersex advocates seem really angry these days#probably bc of ppl like me... sorry#but gosh i just don't think it's evil to be misinformed and think you're properly informed and therefore don't go out searching more#it's almost out of your control. because someone else did the lying to you#all u did was believe them. and if u never believe anybody u can't live so u can only doubt ppl when u have reason#and if u know nothing u don't have reason to doubt....#hi it's the next day on second thought it was kind of wild i spent all afternoon yesterday groveling for#having believed intersex ppl when they told me what their community wants as someone who had never heard of intersex before#it's not my fault they lied
0 notes
Text
I am. SO being fucked over by my school 24/7 but if I take extra classes I get to graduate early..
#And not only that- i could take some college credit thingy classes apparently and im gonna do math because MAYBE#that means i wont need to take math next year? im not sure. this stuff is confusing.#they apparently lost our paperwork again and they said that im not allowed to make up my classes so im 'failing' but i also have 98s and stu#ff but ?? gpa bad but?? confused#school isnt very nice and they keep lying to me but i never trusted them in the first place because school people always lie to your face#then theyll lie further and i fucking hate them for that#but they keep on. not doing their fucking job. and im really sick of 'failing' because they lied or 'werent given' paperwork that i went and#gave them in person. paperworkmy mom emailed to them and bills and whatnot#i am. very fucking sick of this school not doing anything except punish me.#i put in so much effort and all i get is my good grades revoked and told 'oh sorry!! you missed too many days but you cant go to makeup sch#ool.. youre gonna have to figure this out!! no way we can help!!'#literally have to goad answers out of them and they refuse to talk to my mom because shes 'too aggressive' yeah no shit shes a mom#you would be mad too having to deal with this dumb fucking school!! it isnt a valid excuse to leave due to a loss in the family!! or illness#my doctors notes dont fucking count what do you mean??#you tell me all this shit im so confused bro make it make sense am i failing or not? are you even trying?? fuck this school#and then you lie in front of the school spouting bullshit shining your shoes and saying you did wrong to make yourself seem good like#WE HAVE KNOWN. THIS IS NOT NEW INFORMATION.#im scared to go back to school on monday
0 notes
Text
@ethicsbutcher asked: ❛ do you ever think about the future? ❜
it wasn't often that misao found herself drifting off while she was spending time with someone she wasn't very familiar with. and this was because, deep down, misao seemingly had a slight distrust towards humanity in general — what with the fact that one was responsible for the very grievous event that claimed her mother's life all those years ago being at the head of it. well, that, and what she'd been taught to believe as a child: to never let your guard down around one because they could easily stab you in the back. but they were not all bad, she'd discovered, and that was a rather black-and-white way of looking at them. regardless, this belief had still managed to dig it's claws into her. so misao remained hypervigilant around humans albeit much less than she used to be. which made it all the more confusing that all she could find herself doing was looking into the wine that doctor lecter had provided her with before one of his infamous 'ceremonial' dinners.
misao had barely touched it and she'd already had too much in her mind. it was a bit of a bummer that she couldn't indulge in it as freely as he could, but as the saying goes: c'est la vie, right? misao soon found herself being snapped back to reality by the sound of hannibal's voice. 'oh, god,' she thought. how long had he been talking to her? misao put on a small, apologetic smile as her eyes met the others, ❝ ahh, forgive me if it seems like i wasn't paying attention, doctor lecter. i was listening, but i guess you could say i have a lot on my mind, ❞ that wasn't exactly completely true but it wasn't a lie either. for, misao only really had one thing on her mind, but it had been plaguing her mind ever since she got here: what could've been his motives behind why he invited her here. they had only talked in passing when they were both within the walls of arkham, after all, hadn't they?
misao squinted her eyes at the other as if she was trying to read hannibal then. but he was not a particularly easy person to be read, even with everything she knew about body language, and how people's minds worked. winging it seemed like the best option from there as a result as misao eyed the food he was preparing, ❝ oh? that's an interesting question, though i hope you aren't asking it out of some attempt to psychoanalyze me. i already do enough of that to myself, ❞ a light snort left her nostrils then before her eyes flitted up to meet the other's once more. misao wasn't afraid of him, but what was his objective here, hmm? ❝ but if you want the truth, i think i have been mainly focusing on what's been happening around me in the present for a while. i suppose because although the future does matter, we could all die tomorrow. and because of that, i feel as if it's only right to consider the present first. ❞
misao shrugged slightly and made sure hannibal saw her take another swig of the liquor he'd given her even though she really shouldn't have. she resisted the urge to grimace at the acidity of it by closing her eyes momentarily, before speaking up again, ❝ that's just my opinion though. is there any reason why you have been thinking about what's to come, doctor? maybe something... or someone? ❞ misao's voice rose an octave whenever she'd said that last part, trying to convey that she was interested in his life. though misao just asked him this out of 'politeness' so that she could more smoothly question him down the road about why he'd chosen her to invite to his home out of all of the arkham staff. misao didn't actually care much about it. however, she was a good liar. or she thought she was anyway.
#ethicsbutcher#AHH i'm so sorry for how long it took for me to get this out but here is my response to your one-liner! i hope it is to your liking (:#misao really is crafty whenever it comes to her way of lying / manipulation bc i feel as if half of the time it may be so subtle that even-#she doesn't pick up on it y'know? though misao did here as i mentioned up there LOL it's just that i think she is pretty-#perceptive of people and so she'll like sometimes subconsciously guide a conversation / guide someone to doing something without-#having to think much about it by taking advantage of what she views to be their 'soft spots' i guess you could say or by trying to-#use wording that is kind of sneaky. but in this case misao is putting on a front here to try to get more out of hannibal later. though with#how he is i reallyyy don't know if it's going to work the way she wants it to LMAO bc the man is quite manipulative himself and#informed isn't he? i don't want to assume anything about your portrayal ofc bc you know him the best but that's just what i gathered from-#reading your carrd so feel free to correct me if i'm wrong (': buttt yeah she really thinks she's being slick here though IDK if that is-#really the case so yeahhh#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: slight manipulation.#tw: alcohol.
0 notes
Photo
as of today (april 7) the actual exchanged hungarian minimum wage is 683 eur. and i think while this is a good comparison chart to get a general idea of this, it's also vital to know that not all of these countries have their minimum wage set in eur, so that's not an accurate way to show this information. on april 1st, the hungarian minimum wage equaled 677 eur. even on january 1st, general exchange rates would result in 698 eur for the minimum gross for 2024. even with the best exchange rate (in favor of huf) in 2024 on january 5-6, it's 707 eur.
my point is, money ain't this universal, and when comparing things in different units, where exchange is not as set in stone as with, say, distances, there needs to be some footnotes about the units.
Minimum wages across the European Union as of April 1, 2024.
source This is about gross monthly minimum wages.
Also note about Greece and Portugal. Technically Greece has 830€ per month and Portugal 820€ per month. But because both of those countries have 14 payments per year instead of 12, the results on the map show the real gross minimum wages spread throughout twelve months.
by threafold
#this is probably true for most countries here that don't use eur#using eur to show this is... well. the inaccuracy is in that it doesn't tell you what exchange rate was used#also this is not to shit on the person posting this - this is from wikipedia#i am shitting on whoever put this information on wikipedia without precise citations#that said. jesus Christ#i always forget just how shit we got it over here and further east from us#also bulgaria w the 477... girls u okay???#but also. do note the insane difference between countries with eur and countries w their own currency#no wonder it's shit in leu and lev and koruna#slovakia im so sorry#cuz u do have the euro and ?? what the fuck#and to anyone thinking oh sure but the cost of living must be lower too#WRONG#egg prices are on par w egg prices in germany#we are having the kind of inflation in here that ppl would have beheaded kings for 500 years ago#*nvm it's just eastern europe but still#i mean w the remarkably low ass min wage#''why don't the young want to stay'' and it looks like this. bitch
215 notes
·
View notes