#sorry I’m really bad at roman numerals
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Black Sails S1E7 and S4E7
#sorry I’m really bad at roman numerals#anyway more parallels to the god of parallels#black sails#james flint#billy bones#miranda barlow#I know this isn’t a direct repeating of the line but the thematic parallels are definitely there#when I say s4 billy is just s1 flint this is kinda what I mean#bitter impulsive controlling and fueled by vengeance#god bless
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If you don’t mind questions; would it be okay if I ask about the culture of New Rome/Camp Jupiter in your AU?
I saw you mentioned in one of your one-shots about Jason that he and Dakota hate mortals (or used to in Jason’s case). I know with how outsider-averse New Rome seemed in canon I figured they’d have at least SOME distaste for mortals (especially from old families), but I want to know your thoughts on it! Maybe we could possibly get a story where Dakota meets Sally👀?
If you’re willing, do you have any ideas for the Sea of Monsters quests Jason and Dakota went on? I’m assuming they went after the Golden Fleece, and can only imagine their (or even all of New Rome’s) faces when it’s found out that Percy got to it before them😄. I’m assuming on that quest they found Reyna!
(If you can’t tell I love hearing people’s New Rome headcanons and what life was like for them)!
Apologies for the mini-rant and if it ends up not making too much sense😅! Hope you’re doing well!
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HI! Thank you so much for this ask, I've always wanted to share my New Rome World with someone.
Sorry in advance for my rambling.
Rick gives us so little about new Rome it's crazy! So, I've kinda came up with my own world-building and culture while writing/planning my Jason Grace fics.
New Rome, in my AU, is very cut off from the mortal world, and I know that in the Riordanverse it's the same way, but I mean so cut off from the world outside Oakland Hills and Mortal culture. Any hint of Mortal Culture- or even anything that isn't New Roman is looked at as taboo. You've never handled a weapon before? Look at the time I've gotta go. You don't speak Latin or use Roman Numerals on a regular basis? Oh, sorry my dad said we can't be friends. You don't enjoy the traditional meals but like Takis? Why didn't the Wolves eat you.
In my horridly-named-au there's a lot of racism/bitterness towards mortals, definitely from the Golden families who've lived there since the fall of Rome. Mortals have always been very oblivious towards the gods and mythology going on, but still they tend to put their noses in places they shouldn't be. We see in all of the quests that when this happens, things tend to get sticky for the Demigod in question. And because of how cut off the New Romans are from the Mortal world, just one bad experience in the outside world can shape entire generations of legacies.
Forget openly thinking you'd rather live outside of New Rome.
Most of the time that isn't seen as an issue though, because why would you want to leave? There's an already structured city with schools, apartments, hospitals, restaurants, and everything you need to survive. To raise a family and grow old. While outside of New Rome you're constantly surrounded by the very thing that attracts monsters to you.
Besides after serving the ten years you have too in the military, you know more about the New Roman Way than the Mortals. Everything the Mortals do now is strange. What do you mean they have free time? That they eat pizza for dinner? That's so unhealthy.
I feel like the people in New Rome don't really understand free time and pleasures very much. Even if they're safe and can have those things they're still demigods/legacies. They always have to be at their top game, or they'll die.
Their little understanding of the outside world (plus horribly views towards mortals) leads to racism and jokes towards them.
I have a lot more on New Rome culture but that's the gist of their views of the outside world.
Also, I've been planning a one-shot about Dakota (and some others) meeting Sally!
I've been planning a longer fanfiction about Jason's childhood/ quests leading up to HoO. I want to start publishing by the end of this year, but I want to have a few (maybe ten) chapters written up and edited.
Anyways here's my ideas for the Sea of Monsters Quest with him and dakota (plus whoever else was with them)
They get stranded on one of the islands in the sea of monsters, which is where they find the Maenad rave (another implied thing in the series) They're preteens and awkward and just need help but these maenads... aren't very helpful, so say the least.
They run into Triton at one point, who is a little bitchy and ends up sending them towards Black Beards Stolen Ship, where all the former C C's Island Resort people are captured.
Jason hates what's going on, and jumps on and concidenlly is like 'I'm here to save you. I'm the son of Jupiter' to Reyna while she, Hylla, and Kinzie plan their escape. Reyna doesn't really need Jason and his peoples help, but it'll give her a better advantage, so they all for a plan. She ends us showing off and Jason realizes she has to be a demigod.
That's pretty much all I have for that so far, sorry if that wasn't what you were expecting and rereading it is very messy.
I'm so happy you asked and if you have anymore New Rome questions I'd love to hear them. Also if you have any New Rome headcanons that you don't mind share with me that would be great cuz it's so underrated and I love people who like the Roman Side of the riordanverse.
Hope you're doing well as well! Thank you for sending this and if you, or anyone else, has anymore asks let me know!
#heroes of olympus#jason grace#pjo#pjo hoo toa#dakota pjo#fanfic#percy jackon and the olympians#writing#pjo headcanon#new rome#new Rome culture#roman demigods#reyna ramirez arellano#the Sea of monsters
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high infidelity | two
Put on your records and regret meeting me, I bent the truth too far tonight I was dancing around it *Noah’s POV* Damn, this girl was something else. I won’t ever admit it but I saw her and her friends before I even went on stage. During the show I was looking for my in-ears backstage and I saw her from the corner of my eye with her friends. I had to chuckle watching them dance around and sing every word during Dayseeker’s set. She stuck out amongst her friends though, her long jet black hair, bright red lips and golden skin really caught my attention…she had this glow about her that I couldn’t describe. When we came onto the stage I found her immediately and had a hard time keeping my eyes off her. Every time I walked past her, I kept noticing new things about her. She had a rose tattoo on her sternum, Roman numerals down the side of her neck and a full sleeve of butterflies and peonies on her right arm. I even made a conscious effort to sit near her during Who are you? and as soon as I saw her bright green eyes flash at me, it was game over. I knew I needed to meet her. Then I met her without even trying.
You can’t tell me that wasn’t fate even though it was super embarrassing she found me in the women’s bathroom. I thought I was in the clear since it was just my band and crew backstage but that was a terrible calculation. Also have you shared a bathroom with a bunch of other dudes? Sometimes you just need your own space and the women’s bathroom had a bigger shower.
She really did have to use the bathroom so I gave her some privacy but I waited outside in the hall for her. Her scent of salted caramel and vanilla lingered under my nose and I couldn’t get enough. The guys and I were going to head to a brewery after the show and since Seattle wasn’t far we planned to travel there in the morning instead of overnight. This was our first time in Vancouver so we wanted to make the best of it.
I texted our photographer Bryan about her before putting my phone back in my pocket. He was surprised at my actions considering that I never entertained women on the road, let alone a fan. Something was telling me she was different. I heard the hand dryer going in the bathroom before she opened the door. Her eyes widened as she saw me standing there. “So do you just hang out inside and outside women’s bathrooms?” “Yeah, I was told if I got caught again it would be my third strike.” She laughed and had a huge smile on her face. Fuck, even her smile was gorgeous. She flashed me her green eyes again and I could’ve melted at her feet. God what was she doing to me…
“Sorry, I hope this isn’t too forward, but me and the guys are heading to this brewery down the road. Do you want to come?” “Sure. I’ll just text my friends, they’re back here somewhere.” She replies as she pulls her phone out. I catch myself watching her every move. Her nails were painted a dark maroon and she had the hidden leaf village symbol from Naruto tattooed on her thumb. I smirked, not what I was expecting us to have in common. “I just realized I never caught your name.” I managed to get out. Her eyes find mine and suddenly I’m putty in her hands. “Elliot, but you can call me El.” Why was that suddenly the most beautiful name I have ever heard? *Elliots POV*
Before I knew it we were all sitting at a large table at this cozy brewery having drinks with Bad Omens and their crew. My brain couldn’t process what was going on at all. The boys seemed to have picked one of my friends to talk to and we were hitting it off really well. Noah went up to order some beers for us, I offered him my credit card but he said this round was on him. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him as he walked back to me. “I really couldn’t decide what to get so I got some of those beer flight things to try everything.” He smirked as he sat beside me. His leg brushed against mine and blood rushed to my cheeks again. “That works for me.” I shrugged. “Everything here is really good.” Noah crosses his arms on the table and brings his gaze to me. Those beautiful brown eyes were causing me to go into a spiral. The brewery was so loud but damn, when he looked at me it got quiet. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only one in the room. I was trying so damn hard to not get caught up in it because I didn’t know who he really was. For all I know he could do this every night when he was on tour. I also wanted to live in the delusion that I was the first girl he ever asked out after a show. Get a grip, Elliot. “Do you come here much?” He asked breaking the silence and snapping me back into reality. “I’ve been here a few times, but there’s just so much to choose from living here.” “Do you have a favourite?” “Yeah I do. There’s actually a bar in my neighbourhood I go to a lot. It’s actually a wine bar where they make their own wines, they have the comfiest couches and the best charcuterie boards.” “Sounds like my kind of place.”
Our drinks come to the table and he immediately wrapped his hands around the darkest beer we got. I grabbed one of the lighter looking beers and look a sip of it before we swapped to try each others. Both of our faces scrunched up in disgust before we immediately switched glasses again. I studied the tattoos on his hands as he grabbed the cold glass from me, noticing the heart he had on one of his fingers. I forgot what we were talking about…
“I really like Vancouver so far.” He continued. “It’s like Seattle but the people are way nicer.” “Canada is definitely the superior country.” I chuckled.
He raised his eyebrow at me before moving onto the next beer, “Well, I am looking for a new home base.”
“Not loving California anymore?” “It’s not that I don’t like it…” He pauses to take a sip of his beer. “I’ve always wanted to live in the Pacific northwest area. The weather is more to my liking and people seem to leave us alone. I really like my privacy and people in LA are starting to recognize us more and more. I know it comes with the territory but after quarantine I realized how important it is to have a home base where you can be yourself.” “I get that.” I replied. “Every one deserves to have a safe space to come home to every night.” “Do you have that?”
“I’m working on it.” I muttered, knowing my home life was in absolute shambles. The more drinks we had the more comfortable we got with each other, not like we needed that much liquid courage though. We talked like old lovers picking up where we left off and I admired how respectful he was being towards me. I put my hand over his by accident but he didn’t seem to mind, he just squeezed my hand with a Cheshire Cat smile on his face. I noticed he had the same Naruto tattoo on his hand that I had and we ended up having a long conversation about the anime. We oddly seemed to have the same opinions on it and he showed me a photo of his thigh tattoo of Itachi he recently got. A few moments later I excused myself to the bathroom to gain my composure. I pulled out my phone and found my lawyers number. It was time. “I’m ready.” “Come see me tomorrow…I’m so proud of you for finally doing this, Ellie.” I took a few more breaths before walking back towards our table. I sat beside Noah and his cheeks were getting rosy, it was beyond adorable. His hand grazed over my thighs as he reached for my hand again. Euphoria filled my body and didn’t want it to stop, I didn’t want him to stop touching me. “Do you want to get out of here?” Noah whispered in my ear. “Wow you move fast.” I joked as I pushed his hair out of his face, almost pouting because his hair was so much shorter now. Still, it gave him a Disney prince kind of vibe that I adored. “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a walk or go somewhere more quiet.”
“A walk at this time of night? Are you going to murder me, Noah?” “Oh god no - I was - I -um-“ He was stuttering over his words and I couldn’t help but laugh. He was getting more embarrassed and covered his face with his hands. “I’m kidding Noah.” I reassured him by moving his hands away from his face, “there’s another bar I like we can go to. It’s attached to the Hyatt down the street.” “That’s our hotel.” He smirked before finishing off his beer. We got up from the table and said our goodbyes to our friends. Danielle shot me a look and I just shrugged my shoulders at her cause I had no idea what I was doing. We got outside and started to walk towards his hotel slowly, we didn’t say much but he reached for my hand and I grabbed his with no hesitation. After seeing his bands reaction to us leaving together, it definitely told me he didn’t do this very often. This started to feel genuine and I knew I had to tell him the truth. Noah’s POV She was such a calculated risk and I knew that. Honestly, I wasn’t really one to find a girl at our show and try to take her home. Most of the guys would invite some of our female fans to chill with us but I wasn’t interested. All these girls just wanted to be with us because of who we were. Sure, Elliot knew who we were but after spending time with her she made me feel like she saw past the bullshit and saw me as just Noah. She stopped halfway up the stairs to our hotel and her energy had shifted as she dropped my hand. Her green eyes deepened as she looked up at me, causing my heart dropped into my stomach. “Noah, I need to tell you something.” “You can tell me anything.” I partially lied because I didn’t want to know what was next. “I’m in the process of getting divorced.” She bit her lip and looked down at her feet. “I wanted to tell you sooner but...” Go figure, the first women I’ve fallen for in years was still married. “What?” I could feel my voice trembling. I looked at her and I see tears forming in her eyes. I knew this wasn’t an easy thing for her to tell me, but I couldn’t fight off the anger that was boiling inside of me. “So you wanted to see where this was gonna go before dropping a bomb like that? “Noah…Please.” A few tears fell down her face as she looked at me. “Can you blame me? You’re in a fucking band! How the fuck was I supposed to know you don’t take a girl home every night?” “So this is my fucking fault then? You assumed I just fuck my way though my tours?” “NO!” She yelled at me causing a few people to look at us. “No…” She repeated, this time in a whisper. I could feel my own tears forming as I felt myself losing her before I even had her. She looked in the opposite direction of me and I could see her mascara starting to run down her face. I wanted to desperately wipe it away but my heart was telling me to walk away and forget about her. I swore off love years ago and I should’ve kept it that way. “Good night Elliot.”
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unrequited (PART THREE)
PAIRING: Michael/Fem!Reader, Roman/Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: When Michael leaves for a business meeting, Y/N finds comfort in Roman’s presence.
WARNINGS: michael being an absolutel dick, roman being an absolute sweetheart, subtle flirting, bad thoughts, brief anxiety attack
WORD COUNT: 1.7k
“What do you mean you’re leaving? It’s our anniversary this week, Michael. You expect me to celebrate alone?” You weakly protested as he hurriedly packed his bags without sparing you a glance. “I made plans for us..”
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Y/N. This is a very important business trip and I need to leave in ten minutes. I’m not going to coddle you and have you change my mind, sweetheart. It’s not that big a deal,” he huffs and rolls his eyes. “Where the hell did you put my ties?”
You sighed softly and went into the walk-in closet that had Michael’s clothes on one side and yours on the other. You reached into a box and opened the lid to show him the neatly folded ties. “They’re where they’ve always been, Michael,” you quietly told him. You crossed your arms over your stomach as a defense mechanism when he stalked closer to look inside the box. He never once laid a hand on you or Aurora, but just his presence makes you uneasy. You had never felt this way before until now when he stood a few inches away from you.
“You know I hate when you touch my shit, Y/N,” he snapped and grabbed more of his things and went back out to the bedroom to continue packing. “From now on, leave my things alone. Got it?” He stared you down, nearly burning a hole into your soul when you meekly nodded.
Almost on cue, Aurora started whimpering in the little monitor you kept on the dresser. You breathed out a sigh of relief and hurried out into the hall, walking down a few doors away and into the little angel’s room. She’s holding onto the bars of her crib, bouncing happily when she sees you. You cooed gently and picked her up, cradling her in your arms as you breathe in that baby scent.
“Hello, my love,” you gently told her and kissed her cheeks, relishing her quiet giggles as she grips onto your necklace. “Did you have a good rest, hm? Mama’s got some new fruits waiting for you.”
“I’m leaving,” you hear Michael’s voice from behind you, causing you to gasp and hold onto Aurora tightly as you turn to look at the emotionless man. “I’ll.. walk you out then.”
You both walked down the long spiral staircase while Aurora babbled incoherently, mumbling “mama” every now and then. You hushed her softly and kissed her head, loving the smell of the faint shampoo you used on her this morning. Michael opened the front door and sat his suitcases on the top step.
“I should be home on the 23rd. I expect everything to be the way I left it. Do not go into my office. I will find out, okay?” He stared at you with such intimidation that it made you feel uneasy. You hesitatingly nodded and leaned up to give his lips a kiss, but he subtly turned his head so your lips would kiss his cheek. You felt a pang in your heart and sucked in a shaky breath. Michael’s motion almost felt like a punch in your gut.
“Let me know when you land,” you softly told him and took back into your home, not looking at him as you hold onto the knob. “I love you, Michael.”
“Don’t do anything stupid, Y/N,” he tells you before picking up his suitcases and walking down the steps to the car waiting for him outside the gate.
You swallowed down a whimper as your eyes instantly filled with tears. Aurora whined quietly and looked up at you with a distressed look at the sight of seeing her mother so distraught and sad. You sniffled and shut the door gently, making sure it was locked before you pressed your back against it and finally letting the dam break. You’re not sure why it hurt so much after being so used to Michael’s actions. But not heating those words you so desperately needed from him was like a stab to your heart.
“Why?” You blubbered and shook your head at yourself. “W-Why?”
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It was almost midnight when you had put Aurora down for her sleep. You watched her for a few moments, not having the heart to leave her just yet. She was the only good thing out of your marriage. She keeps you busy - keeps you on your toes. With her rosy cheeks and soft eyelashes, you’re almost glad that she looks like a mini vision of yourself rather than Michael. With one last brush of your fingers on her stomach, you left the room with the baby monitor in your hand. Now, you were left in a house of silence.
You can hear your heart thumping loudly in your ears as you shallowly breathed in and out. You shakily walked down the steps while grasping tightly onto the banister. You went into the kitchen, your vision blurry from the overflowing of tears filling your eyes. You grasped onto the counter and slow sunk down to your knees, desperately pressing your back onto the cupboards behind you. There was a faint ringing in your ear and your hands trembled so viciously that it was hard for you to grasp onto your knees to keep you grounded.
“No, no, no, no,” you whispered to yourself and covered your ears as you rocked back and forth. Your fingers gripped onto your strands of hair. The burning pain of your roots being pulled was enough ot bring you back to a sense of calmness. You hiccuped and struggled to take in a steady breath. You counted to ten in your head and finally became aware of your senses. Five things you can see, four things you can physically feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste.
Five things you can see - the smoky maroon cuboards, the freshly watered plants on the windowsill, the hanging kitchen lights, your bright red painted toenails, and the little pile of notes on the counter.
Four things you can physically feel - the cold tiled floor under your thighs, your hair tickling your shoulders, your fingers interlocked with each other, and a small tear rolling down your flushed cheek.
Three things you can hear - the kitchen clock quietly ticking, Aurora’s soft snores on the baby monitor, and the neighbor’s dog faintly barking across the street.
Two things you can smell - your rose water facial spray and the cleaning spray you used to wipe down the counters.
One thing you can taste - your strawberry lip balm.
Your frantic heartbeat steadied and you were able to breath again. Your rest your head back and breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth a few times. The tears have now dried and your hands were no longer shaky. Aurora’s snores still sounded on the monitor and you had a small smile as you imagiend her lips to be parted with a small dribble of spit on them. But then, that feeling of loneliness soon hit harder than before. You stood up with a small groan, an ache in your joints after sitting on the hard ground for a few minutes. You opened the drawer next to the fridge that held notepads, pens, tape, scissors, takeout menus, and written notes. Rifling deeper and further inside, you pulled out the familiar napkin that Roman had written his number on a few weeks ago.
You looked around the kitchen to find your phone, letting out a small noise of triumphwhen you spotted it amongst the numerous books you laid out. You nervously bit your lip and played with the locket around your neck. After dialing the numbers, you listened as it rung. You felt the nerves again in the pit of your stomach. You swallowed and was about to hang up when you heard his voice.
“Hello?” He asked on the other line.
“Um, is this Roman Godfrey?” You softly asked him.
“Who’s speaking?” He sternly asked, now more alert than before. “How did you get this number?”
Completely caught off guard, you choked up a response. “Um.. this is Y/N.. from the coffee shop? We met a few weeks ago, I’m so sorry for calling you this late.”
“Oh!” He eased up again, and you can almost hear his smile through the phone. “I apologize, Y/N. I’ve been receiving a lot of spam calls and it’s been driving me nuts.”
“It’s alright,” you laughed smile. “Again, I’m sorry for calling you so late. I just.. had nothing better do to and you popped into my head.”
“Oh yeah? You been thinking about me?” He cheekily asked you, causing you to snort and roll your eyes as you felt a blush creep up on your cheeks. “I had nothing better to do either. I’m trying to find a good show to binge watch on Netflix.”
“Oh really? I have a few suggestions if you’d like?” You told him excitedly and grabbed the baby monitor before hurrying over to your comfy couch, grabbing the remote and immediately turning the tv on. “I think you’ll my wide variety of movies and shows.”
“Oh yewh? We’ll see about that,” Roman laughs quietly, smiling wide in the other line when he hears your laugh. “I like that laugh... hehehehe.”
“Oh God, please do not imitate that Justin Bieber meme,” you covered your mouth to hide your laugh. “You’re really funny, Roman. I never thought of you to be a man of humor.”
“I am incredibly insulted,” he gasped mock offended. “What kind of man did you think I was, hm?”
You shrugged to yourself, remembering that he couldn’t see you. “I don’t know.. a man of serious business.”
“A man of serious business,” he repeats softly. “Well if by serious business, you mean making you laugh and smile, then yes, I am a man of serious business.”
“Oh hush, Godfrey,” you sucked your teeth and blushed. “But thank you. I haven’t laughed like this in.. a while. It feels good.”
“I’m glad,” he quietly told you. “They say laughter is the best medicine.”
“I heard,” you laughed quietly and looked at the red Netflix logo on the television. “Okay, now the Netflix recommendations.”
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TAG LIST: Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed <3
@lathraios @heda-mikaelson @queencocoakimmie @hecohansen31 @masterlaluri @bluebirdbts @kaetastic @midrunner3202 @henrysqueen @duncvns
#i really missed this series 🥺🥺#michael langdon is a certified PRICK#but it gets really good later on 😏#michael langdon x reader#roman godfrey x reader#michael langdon imagine#roman godfrey imagine
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Just writing down the Sides reacting to the past selves but make it angsty cause I’m like that-
Only includes the Core Sides because Janus and Remus weren’t in Season One.
Patton really wants to go back to the good old days. No Dark Sides, no drama outside of the episodes, just him and his famILY. But then he remembers that he was suppressing his emotions back then. He’s still doing it. Then he remembers the Dark Sides are happy because they got accepted! But his little group isn’t. He’s living in this hellhole where someone’s happiness results in another’s sadness, and Patton is terrified of losing his famILY to their inner demons. He made Roman sad by accepting Janus, he interrupted Logan, he thought Remus was bad, he’s not a good father- after the reaction, Patton locks himself in the Nostalgia Room. He just wants all of his kiddos to be happy, but he doesn’t deserve it. Why should he deserve love when he didn’t give his kiddos the love they deserved?
Logan’s taken back by how expressive he was back then. Finger-gunning, smiling, making puns, laughing, etc. He doesn’t know that he’s not happy with this serious façade. Logan thinks this is the best way. He wants to be taken seriously. He wants to be listened too. And they don’t want to listen to Logan. Logan was irrational and hurtful to his famILY. Logan threw paper at Roman for something as simple as mocking his intelligence. Logic wouldn’t do any of those things. But Logan would. And Logan is only causing harm to the people around him. This is for the best.
Roman’s horrified at how he treated Virgil. There was actual malice behind the nicknames, actual dislike behind the insults, actual intent to villainize Virgil. When he tried to make the cutscene explaining why he loved Crofters, he didn’t just get the wrong flashback. It showed him a time when he hurting Virgil. Mocking him. Being an overall bad person. And he never thought much of that until he was called the evil twin. And he was. He still is. Only a villain would laugh at someone’s name. Only a villain would say someone wasn’t wanted. Roman hurt people. He’s been the villain from the start. He was just to blinded by his Pride to notice.
Virgil thought he could handle it. He couldn’t. Even after years of being accepted, the nicknames still stung. But that wasn’t the issue. He called Logan the least favourite. He hadn’t apologized for that. He never said sorry for all of the insults he gave Roman, but if the Prince dared to call him a nickname, he had to say sorry. He’s said numerous things to Patton that aren’t exactly nice. But then, he got struck with a realization; he never changed. He said he didn’t want to be changed into one of Thomas’ friends, but he changed the Sides clothes in the Halloween episode without their permission. He told Logan he would prohibit his breathing if he kept talking. These people had hurt him, sure. But they learnt from their mistakes and welcomed him. He still hurt them. How many of his insults added to a Side’s misery? He didn’t want to know. Virgil was still a villain. He hadn’t changed. The only thing that changed was how the Sides saw him. Even after he got accepted, he still hurt them. Virgil really was a villain.
#no-one's happy#sander sides#sanders sides#sander sides angst#sanders sides angst#patton angst#logan angst#roman angst#virgil angst#patton sanders#morality sanders#sanders sides patton#sanders sides morality#logan sanders#logic sanders#sanders sides logan#sanders sides logic#roman sanders#creativity sanders#sanders sides roman#sanders sides creativity#virgil sanders#anxiety sanders#sanders sides virgil#sanders sides anxiety#mentioned janus#mentioned deceit#mentioned remus
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A Guide to the Best Editions and Translations of Some Classic Literature
TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA BY JULES VERNE
IMPORTANT: Whatever you do, DO NOT BUY the edition translated by Lewis Mercier. In fact, NEVER buy any translation of ANYTHING by Lewis Mercier. Mercier’s translation is unfortunately the most “standard” and popular translation. This translation is said to have removed about 20-25% of the original novel, and also removes a lot of Verne’s original meaning. In short, it was a botched translation that somehow became very popular and accessible up until the 1970′s, but always still check for before buying. Barnes and Noble still has his translation lying around for sale.
If the name of the translator isn’t on the cover or back cover of the book, you can check the first few pages where they write the publication history. It might be in fine print. Frankly, any translation that is NOT by Lewis Mercier is good. The pictures I have attached here are of the edition I bought published by The Franklin Library. It was translated by Mendor T. Brunetti. It also includes the original illustrations, which is cool.
THE HOLY BIBLE
Oof. This one can get really dicey. But I’ll explain it the best I can. There have been dozens of translations of the Bible, if not hundreds. Not everyone uses the same one, especially evangelical groups like Pentecostals and Jehovah’s Witnesses. These more radical groups have willingly altered the Bible to further their views. So, a Bible that a Jehovah’s Witness holds is not the same Bible that a Roman Catholic priest holds. The King James Bible (KJV, or King James Version) has often been considered the most popular version of The Bible throughout modern history. Many of the Bible’s most memorable quotes are directly taken from the King James Bible. It’s considered dignified, poetic, and beautiful. It’s also wrong. So very, very wrong. It’s quite possibly the worst translation of the Bible ever made. I grew up in Catholic school and even there we never once touched the King James Bible. The problems with the King James Bible include certain “theological biases” (i.e. implying Jesus appeared somewhere when he didn’t) and all-around bad translations (i.e. it says there were unicorns but the real meaning is supposed to say “horned beasts”) (see ReligionForBreakfast). The other annoying thing about the King James Bible is that quotation marks are not used. This can be very confusing for readers as it becomes unclear who is speaking. If you’re curious to see how an exact literal translation of the Bible into English goes, check out the Interlinear Bible. It has the original Hebrew and Greek text with the English words underneath (or besides). You will quickly realize just how complicated translating the Bible is, as Hebrew does not have many words. The English prose in the Interlinear Bible therefore can read like gibberish.
If you want to read the Bible with as close to the original intent and meaning as possible while also being readable, then go for the New American Standard Bible. It can still be a bit difficult to read though. The current popular edition is the New Revised Standard Version. This newer edition from 1989 is considered the most neutral of all translations, as it does not hold any denominational bias. The translators even placed gender-neutral words, such as “people” instead of “mankind”.
FRANKENSTEIN BY MARY SHELLEY
The original 1818 text by Mary Shelley has been given more spotlight as of late. The text that we are most commonly familiar with from 1831 had the story toned down because of course it would be scandalous for a woman to write about such things at the time. Mary Shelley had suffered critical outrage and pressure for editorial changes from her husband Percy for her original vision. For the 1831 edition, she was forced to edit the novel so that Dr. Frankenstein would be a more moral character, whereas the original Dr. Frankenstein in the 1818 text did not go through much moralizing.
Penguin Books recently released an affordable edition of the 1818 text.
THE THREE MUSKETEERS BY ALEXANDRE DUMAS
There are numerous translations but I want to highlight the one I read by Richard Pevear. This made the story very readable while also remaining faithful to the story. Pevear didn’t censor Dumas’s original meanings at all like previous translations did for their time. I thoroughly enjoyed his translation and was lucky enough to get the hardcover of his first edition back in the day. My mom completely surprised me by buying that book for me, and it ended up happening to be the best translation. The best thing about Pevear’s edition is that it includes footnotes for archaic terms. The original hardcover of Pevear’s edition is difficult to find by now, but his translation has been re-released by other publishers. As of a few years ago, a new translation by Lawrence Ellsworth has been released. I have not read that one but have heard good things. The publishers of the Ellsworth translation have also been republishing ALL of the Musketeer stories to provide a series of consistent editions, which has always been rare for the Musketeer saga.
HOMER’S ODYSSEY, ILIAD, and VIRGIL’S AENEID
First off, read these epics in verse form. I cannot believe there are editions out that written in prose form. I’m sorry but that should be illegal. I grew up reading Robert Fagles’ translation, which is pretty damn good and is the standard in schools. However, also look for Richmond Lattimore’s translation. Lattimore translated The Odyssey and The Iliad in the original rhythm that Homer intended. Fagles wrote in freeform for the sake of being easier to read. Both translations retain the original meaning, so it’s up to you really what you prefer. As for The Aeneid (Lattimore only translated Greek classics), go with Fagles.
DON QUIXOTE BY MIGUEL DE CERVANTES
Read the translation by Edith Grossman. That’s all I can say. I devoured that book in days. Grossman did to Don Quixote what Pevear did to The Three Musketeers. It’s just that good and readable. Ormsby is the second-best, being the most scholarly of all translations. The translation is the most accurate but the humor can be dry and doesn’t pack the same punch as Cervantes probably intended. The translations to avoid like the plague are by Motteux, Smollett, and John Phillips. SHERLOCK HOLMES BY SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Surely, most people reading this have a copy of the Sherlock Holmes tales in one form or another. But which is the best? Every text out there is the same no matter the publication, but I prefer to read the way it was originally formatted with all the illustrations. The automatic assumption people might have is that all the original Sherlock Holmes stories were published in The Strand Magazine. This wasn’t the case. There were several stories published in other magazines at the time, such as A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four, to name a few. Therefore, if you find an edition boasting to have “all The Strand illustrations” it probably only has the stories that were published in The Strand Magazine. More confusing yet, some editions do say “All the Strand illustrations” but also include A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four. Keep in mind this magical number: 60 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote a total of 56 short stories and 4 novels with Sherlock Holmes. If the copy you are holding does not add up to 60 stories, don’t bother. You might get a copy that comes in two or three volumes.
#onreading#literature#translations#language#languages#mary shelley#bible#Christianity#catholicism#religion#don quixote#jules verne#twenty thousand leagues under the sea#alexandre dumas#frankenstein#the three musketeers#homer#odyssey#iliad#virgil#homer's odyssey#homer's iliad#books#book#classics#classic#classic literature#sherlock holmes#sir arthur conan doyle#reading
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Intruality Week 2021 Day 2
I’ve decided to try and connect all these propmpts into one story. If you want to read the day 1 fic it’s here
Day 2: Cooking/Baking @intrualityweek2021 Wordcount: 1292 TWs: Swearing, little bit of sad Patton (I’m just like this okay?), Remus doing Remus things, brief gore (not detailed), alcohol meantion (one sentance)
General Taglist: (ask to be added <3) @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper
After seven hours, five countertops, twenty spatulas and countless other fatalities, Remus looked at the dozen plates set out in front of him. This was his greatest masterpiece, he continually amazed himself. This plan would work perfectly, he just needed one more thing before he could start. He quickly sank out into Patton’s room. The only light was a little pooh bear night light, dimly illuminating the mound snuggled under numerous fluffy blankets. Remus sneaked forward quietly until he reached the edge of the bed. “Papa Bear!” Remus shouted and jumped on top of Patton. The sleeping side was startled awake and screamed loudly, grabbing his attacker. He was mostly relieved to see it was just Remus. “Hey Kiddo.” Patton said tiredly. “What do you need?” He rubbed his eyes as he spoke. Remus’ wicked smile glowed in the darkness. “I made you dinner.” Remus said proudly. Patton sighed. “Thank you Remus, that’s very thoughtful but I already ate.” Patton mumbled as he laid back down. Remus waited a moment before jumping again. “Please Daddy! I spent a long time on it.” Remus asked again. Patton didn’t move but shushed him. “Everyone is sleeping, please be quiet.” Patton asked. Remus shook Patton’s bed. “I’m gonna be loud until you agree!” Remus shouted. He started moaning and shouting vulgarly. Patton quickly sat up and put a hand over Remus’ mouth. His red face glowed in the dark. “Alright alright just plea- hey!” Patton retracted as Remus nipped his hand. “Ew.” He wiped his hand on the blanket, Remus grabbed it and pulled him out of bed. He sat Patton at the dining table and spun himself around. He changed into a sultry looking waiter outfit. “Tell me what you think of each dish.” Remus said as he grabbed the first plate. “I worked hard on them.” Remus placed the plate in front of Patton whose sleepy mind was caught off guard. He’d forgotten the golden rule of the mindscape: Never trust Remus. On the plate was a caramel apple, except the caramel was covered in lint and hair. “Oh um… I think you dropped it…” Patton gently picked up the apple by the stick and showed Remus. He looked it over with a smile. “I didn’t.” Remus said proudly. Patton relaxed for a moment. “That’s from Virgil’s hairbrush.” Patton dropped the apple back onto the plate. Remus pouted. Patton looked at Remus’ sad expression then back at the hairy apple. After a deep breath he picked up the apple and Remus lit up. Delicately as he could, Patton took a bite before dropping the apple. He covered his mouth as the sticky strands stuck to his teeth. Remus looked on hopefully. “It’s… good.” Patton lied as he churned the caramel with his teeth. Remus clapped and jumped excitedly. As soon as he turned to get the next plate Patton began spitting the caramel into a napkin and scraping the sticky bits out. He wished he had some water. “How about a drink?” Remus read Patton’s mind in the worst way possible. He placed a plate with a fancy looking martini glass in front of Patton. He would’ve taken it immediately after that horrid hairy haribo but he wasn’t going to break the golden rule twice. “What… is it?” Patton wasn’t sure whether it was better to know or not. “A cocktail.” Remus announced. “Sex on the beach.” Patton eyed the drink suspiciously. He’d seen pictures of the drink before but they looked a little more… colourful. Patton picked up the drink and took a slow sip. The grainy salty liquid was putrid. Patton gagged and spat it back into the glass as discreetly as he could. “What is in that…” Patton asked through teary eyes. Remus brought a notepad out of nowhere and read from it. “Sand, water from Logan’s fish tank, salt, oyster juice and bird poop.” Patton gagged again. “How's it taste?” Remus asked with a smile. Patton really began to re-evaluate just leaving. “A little salty…” Patton tried to be honest by Remus’ sad face smacked him in the heart. “But still good!”
Dish after horrible dish Patton puckered, swallowed and gagged his way through the devious delicacies. Each was worse and less edible than the last, he was pretty sure one was just a boiled baseball. With each plate he wished he’d stayed in bed. “Last course!” Remus announced as he grabbed the final plate. “A lovely dessert!” Patton thought of all the things he wished it was. Cookie Dough ice-cream, brownies, strawberry milkshake, chocolate mousse. “Kitten eye-cy pop!” Remus placed the bloody red iceblock in front of Patton who squealed. This wasn’t real, it was just a nightmare. Even Remus wouldn’t expect him to eat that. But even when he opened his eyes again, a handful of tiny sad frozen kitty eyes stared back. “No Remus!” Patton sobbed. “I can’t! No! I’ve had all your horrible food and I’m tired and upset and no!” Tears exploded out of Patton's eyes. He sobbed for a moment before looking up at Remus. He expected anger and disappointment, maybe a bit of shouting. But Remus’ eyes were filled with pride. “Fucking finally!” Remus said as he sat down. “I thought I was going to have to serve you Roman’s stupid little face to get you to crack.” Remus danced a hand over the dessert and it disappeared. “What?” Patton was really confused now. He really wanted to go back to bed. “Patsy, I didn’t wake you up at three in the morning and feed you a bunch of gross stuff and expect you to enjoy it. I’m sadistic, not oblivious.” Remus explained. Patton wiped his eyes and listened. “You needed a lesson, thankfully I am a great teacher.” “What lesson?” Patton asked sadly. Remus rolled his eyes. “You need to learn to say no!” Remus snapped. “I’m sorry.” Patton croaked overwhelmed. “No, don't apologise!” Remus stood and shouted back. “I’m a bad person! I did bad things! Yell at me!” “I can’t...” Patton sobbed. “Do it!” Remus pressed. “No!” Patton finally gave in. He pushed himself up with the table, tears sparkling on his cheeks. “I’m tired! I’m upset! I just wanna sleep!” Patton tried to emphasise by hitting the table but accidentally hit the plate. He slowly looked down at the broken plate. Patton fell back into his seat in a sobbing heap. Remus stood there looking between Patton and the plate for a minute. Then he took a few steps closer. “Didn’t know you were that strong.” Remus joked. Patton didn’t laugh. “Remus please don’t.” Patton begged, he didn’t know what for. Patton felt Remus drape something around him. Remus wrapped his arms around Patton and lifted him into his chest. A moment later the room darkened. Patton felt himself being placed down onto a bed. His bed. “Remus.” Patton felt more blankets cover him. “Consider it a thank you for the sweater.” Remus smiled to himself. It just occurred to Patton that this was the second time Remus had seen him cry in two days. No one saw him cry. He reached out of his curled up position and grabbed Remus’ hand. “You’re a good guy.” Patton whispered. Remus wasn’t sure how to react. “You’re delirious.” Remus said back. “Maybe.” Patton conceded. “But I would really like it if you could cook for me again some time.” Remus froze. He was trying to annoy Patton, trying to annoy him and be a terrible person, but Patton thought it was… endearing? “Oh I definitely will.” Remus chuckled. It was less wicked and more goofy. Patton hadn’t heard that before, neither had Remus. What was happening to him? He was getting soft. He’d just have to try harder.
#sanders sides fanfiction#roman took over#intruality#intruality fic#intruality week#intruality week 2021#remus sanders#ts remus#patton sanders#ts patton
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I Love You, Darling. - Draco Malfoy x She/Her!Reader
request by @bittersweetthoughts--ofinsanity : heyyy i saw you’re taking requests, i’d love one with draco and a golden trio friend (maybe a ravenclaw cause i’m a ravenclaw but it doesn’t matter really) set in the GoF, where instead of ron being put under water for Harry to save its the reader, cause her and Harry are close, and once he gets her out draco gets really concerned and worried about her, but also furious at Harry for allowing them to put the reader in danger.
warnings: ANGSTY ANGST ANGST, FLUFFY FLUFF FLUFF, wounding, merpeople, sleeping spell stuff, fear of drowning type beat
wc: 1k
a/n: sooooo i had a lottt of fun with this request haha. this is one of my favorite requests ever, i love writing angst so so much, especially angsty fluffy stuff dhdixjzfshifksadhmvewikd anyways tysm for this request!!!! just a heads up that i changed a little bit of the plot shown in the books and movies to fit this imagine! also this really is any house reader, though one indicator that they’re a ravenclaw reader late in the imagine. Enjoy!
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As all the students saw Krum come up with Hermione, they cheered once more. Well, all the students except for Draco. He hadn’t seen you all day and he wondered if you had gotten sick, but as he watched the competitors of the Triwizard Tournament come up from the lake with their companions and friends, he started to wonder who Harry must have gotten. Ginny and Ron were watching, as well as Fred and George. Diggory came up with Cho, and Hermione had just come up. There weren’t many people it could’ve been and the majority of them had already come up or were cheering him on.
Except...
You.
The realization hit Draco like a truck. He started freaking out (internally of course, he had a reputation, after all.) “Hurry, Potter!” He said to himself. The clock was ticking and there was no way you could hold your breath for that long. Maybe it wasn’t you, maybe you were safe in your dorm with a minor fever, maybe he didn’t have to freak out after all. But then again, who else would it be? He had never pestered you about being friends with the golden trio but he felt it would do more harm than good. Nonetheless, he supported you and didn’t nitpick your friends, you were your own person.
As he wallowed in his thoughts, he heard thrashing from the water. Potter and Fleur came up without their counterparts. “I can’t find her!” they shouted in unison between breaths. You know what? Fuck his reputation. “Who? Who Potter?!” Draco shouted frantically. “Y/N!” Harry shouted. “And my little sister, Gabrielle! They’re somewhere at the bottom of the lake!” Fleur added. Draco wasted no time in taking off his shirt, socks, and shoes and jumping in after you (and hopefully Gabrielle). He swam for a while when he saw you and Gabrielle being held down under some sleeping spell by merpeople. He harshly kicked the merpeople away from both of you and they didn’t take that well. But before they could react, Draco was already swimming to the top with you and Gabrielle tucked under his arms.
Fleur thanked Draco profusely as she swam to retrieve her little sister from him. He nodded as he swam back to shore with you. As Draco got out, some other students helped you, Fleur, and Gabrielle out of the water. By this time you were awake, luckily, but you had a large gash on your leg. Draco picked you up bridal style to take you to Madam Pomfrey’s. “I’ll speak with you later, Potter.” Draco spat out bitterly towards the boy as he walked towards the castle with you in his arms. You whimpered when you accidentally bumped the wound on your leg with your hand. “Merlin, that hurt like a BITCH!” You yelled into his chest. “Shhh Darling, it’s alright. We’re gonna get you healed up, okay?” You nodded and nuzzled further into his chest. He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head as you neared the front of the castle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Draco, dear, could you pass that bandage over here?” Madam Pomfrey asked politely. Draco grabbed the bandage and handed it to her as she started to wrap up your leg. “While we did close the wound, it will still be weak for about 14 days.” Madam Pomfrey said to you. “For the time being, you are to wear this bandage and use these crutches.” You groaned but agreed. As soon as she was out of the room, Draco used the soles of his shoes on the wall to get his rolling chair to end up right at the side of your bed.
“Hey there, sweetheart, how are you feeling?” He grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it gently. “Very sore. And tired.” You pressed a finger to your chin, pretending to think. “And in need of cuddles.” You giggled and Draco smiled at the sound of it. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you further.” He said cautiously. “Yes, I am indeed very sure Draco. Come here.” You held out grabby hands and made puppy eyes. How could he resist?! “Fine, but tell me if I’m hurting you in any way.” He said. He hated seeing you in pain except seeing you fight Pansy that one time was kinda hot and he wanted to make sure you were comfortable.
He climbed in the small cot and situated you both so he was on his back with your hand on his chest and your head in the crook of his neck he loved holding you literally so much. You felt comforted at his scent: green apples with a hint of dark chocolate and some cologne you had gotten him for his birthday. “You scared me so bad earlier, darling.” Draco said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Dray. The good thing is that I’m safe and okay and nothing can hurt me anymore.” You said and looked up at him. “How can you always find the positive side in things?” You both laughed quietly. “I just love you so much and I couldn’t bear losing you. You mean so much to me, doll.” A single tear dropped down his cheek as he held you closer. You reached up and wiped the tear. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m okay. I love you.” You said gently.
“How about we get some sleep? You’ve obviously had a pretty long day.” Draco joked and you nodded while giggling. You pulled the blue blanket Draco had gotten you from the Ravenclaw common room over the two of you. “You desperately need to tell Flitwick to create an actual passcode. It took me forever to figure out that riddle!” Draco complained. “What was the riddle?” you ask curiously. “How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?” He said. You thought for about 20 seconds. “Remove the 2 letters F and E from the word “five” and you have IV, which is 4 in roman numerals.” You said confidently. He groaned. “Seriously?! That took me like 15 minutes!” You both laughed and you let out a big yawn. “Goodnight, my love.” He kissed your hair and turned off the lamp beside you two. “Goodnight, Dray. Sweet dreams.” You kissed his neck. Before you fell asleep, you heard him say one last thing. “I love you, darling.”
#draco malfoy#harry potter#draco lucius malfoy#draco x you#draco x y/n#draco x reader#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco imagine#draco x ravenclaw!reader
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Wrath
Ship: Platonic LAMP???? I wouldn’t really know what to call it, platonic (or romantic) Intrulogical
Characters: Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Remus Sanders
TW: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, crying, blood and fairly visual description of injury
Words: 1542
Summary: “Shut up.”
The last word was uttered in a growl, Logan’s hands tugging at his new long sleeves in frustration. Patton didn’t hear him, Virgil gave a small glance before looking back over to Roman, and Roman was too invested in his debate with Patton to notice.
“I said, shut up.”
(In which Logan has an angry breakdown.)
~~
“Shut up.”
The last word was uttered in a growl, Logan’s hands tugging at his new long sleeves in frustration. Patton didn’t hear him, Virgil gave a small glance before looking back over to Roman, and Roman was too invested in his debate with Patton to notice.
“I said, shut up. ”
He said it louder this time, gaining the attention of the other three.
“Isn’t that kinda rude, Lo-”
“I don’t fucking care,” Logan cut Patton off. The moral side looked taken aback at his use of cursing, but didn’t say anything. Good.
“I think you’ve been plenty rude already, haven’t you, Morality?”
He refused to address Patton by his name, the cuff of his button down he was gripping cutting off the blood flow in his wrists. He straightened up, looking around at his friends.
“Do you know stupid you all sound?”
“Wow, teach-”
“Nope. None of you are allowed to say anything. I have been trying to help you for the past hour, but yet you all still refuse to listen. This problem would have been solved ages ago if you had just let me talk. You hate that, though. You hate me.”
Roman and Patton looked as if they were trying to hold back from saying something back. Logan let go of his cuff, shifting his hand so his nails could dig against his wrist. Little pricks of blood made their way out of his skin, but he didn’t dare stop.
“You all have made it very clear that you want nothing to do with me. You ignore me, interrupt me, ridicule my perfectly valid advice, villainize me for simple mistakes that I immediately fix, ignore my obvious mental health issues while you make a big deal out of each other’s slight concerns, and you,” he shot a look at Patton, “don’t respect my boundaries.”
“We-”
Patton cut himself off this time, anxiously tugging at the sleeve of his hoodie hanging down over his chest. He hadn’t deserved that gift, Logan decided.
“Maybe you’re all right. Maybe I’m not important. Virgil may be a key component of Thomas, but are you really going to pretend that Anxiety is more important than Logic?!?”
He looked around, letting the thought sink into their minds. The guilt was showing on their faces, he could tell that they felt bad, once Logan finally had the balls to call them out on it.
“Or maybe I’m just not important to you. I’m annoying, stupid, intrusive, boring, the list and insults go on, and I’m not good enough for any of you. I have tried harder. I have done everything I can to make you all listen, to make you all care, to show that I know full well how much feelings affect me in the best way that someone like me can. But you don’t want that. You don’t want anybody harder to deal with than Anxiety, you don’t want someone as useless and incompetent at I am because you refuse to make an effort to understand me, how I work, how I feel things, because I’m the problem!”
His voice was getting louder, bloody half circles drying as he shoved his finger into his chest, pointing to himself. He could feel salty tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, not making an effort to ignore them anymore.
“And look where that got us!!! Thomas is miserable because Anxiety has him staying up to ungodly hours of the night, Morality has him giving up his free time when his friends are mildly inconvenienced, and Creativity has him destroying his mental health over his self worth! I could help if you all would fucking let me!!! Virgil’s scared for Thomas’s mental health, for Roman’s mental health, for Patton’s mental health because somehow Patton destroying Thomas’s life hurts him, while I’m left here to figure this out on my own, while knowing the people who I care about hate me!!!”
It was a scream at this point, the words beginning to scratch at his throat as tears really began to fall.
“And maybe I’m not good enough!! Maybe I’m not logical enough!! Because what kind of Logic does something like this!?!?”
Logan yanked up his sleeve, tearing bandages off of numerous cut marks, sweat hitting them as their dried blood glittered underneath the light. Patton made a move to approach him, but Logan let out a sound between a hiss and a scream which scared him away well enough.
“Maybe I am defective!! I’m not GOOD enough for you, I’m not good enough for THOMAS!!! I’m USELESS, I’m-”
He cut himself off by biting down hard on his right arm, teeth breaking the skin until blood leaked out. He yanked up his other sleeve, using his nails to dig past the skin on his left arm, leaving four long, thin streaks of blood.
“Logan, stop. ”
Virgil moved forward, worry and fear showing behind his eyes. Logan just missed hitting him, using a swatting motion to get him away.
“Logan, please, we can help-”
“DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?!?!” Logan’s death glare darted to Roman.
He inhaled sharply, face softening to worry as he saw the looks of fear on his friend’s faces. He took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. I have no desire to hurt any of you. You are still my friends, so the only person I will be hurting is myself.
“I’m just… so tired. So fucking tired of being ignored, and maybe you all are right. Maybe I deserve this. The blood, the pain, the absolute misery. Maybe I need to shut up, maybe I need to never say a single irritating, useless fact ever again. Maybe I need to hurt myself. Maybe I need to let Thomas make the decision to get rid of me. Maybe I deserve all of this! Maybe you guys should hate me, despise me, never give a single shit about what I say! Maybe I should fucking die, let you use me as an outlet for your anger, each of you using your own method of torture! Maybe I shouldn’t hate any of you, just hate myself for being such a useless piece of shit!!!”
He was sobbing now. Hard, painful sobs wracking his body as what he believed the ultimate feeling of misery must be. He pulled his glasses shakily off his face with his right hand, using both hands to keep them steady.
“Well… if I’m not gonna be Logic anymore, guess I won’t need these. ”
He snapped them in half, ice lacing his voice. He dropped them to the floor, reveling in the crack that came as he shattered them with his foot.
“Lo…” Patton’s voice was quiet and scared, terrified for his friend.
“I wanna die,” Logan muttered, voice wobbly and throat hurting. He took his tie in his hand tentatively before getting a firmer grip on it.
“I wanna DIE!” he screamed, ripping the tie from his neck. The back of his neck hurt from the force, his hands hurt from the grip, his arms hurt from the cuts and biting and scratching, his chest hurt from the crying, his head hurt from the crying, his legs hurt from more cuts, his throat hurt from screaming, his mind hurt so much from his stupid, stupid emotions.
He was hurting. All the time.
“Wait, wait, Logan, no, don’t leave-”
He sunk out before Virgil could finish his sentence, setting off through the corridors quickly. Surely there would be something in the Imagination, maybe a tall building, a deep lake, a ravenous monster-
He was stopped in his tracks in the Dark Side’s living room by a strong arm, the world too blurry for him to make out obstacles in his path without his glasses. The arms- which he recognized as Remus’s due to the soft amount of fat on them- tightened around his middle as he struggled to get free, mostly just succeeding in sinking into the Dark Side’s warmth.
“Re- let- Re-”
He wasn’t able to voice much more than that due to the state of his throat. He gave up, letting himself go limp in Remus’s arms as he continued sobbing, the pain in his throat reignited with every one. He barely registered being picked up and carried through the halls, processing nothing but Remus, knowing nothing but hold on, hold on.
He was dropped onto something soft, sobs receding into whimpers. His eyes were shut, it wasn’t like there was really any point in opening them without his glasses. He felt a pang in his heart at the memory of his ripped tie falling to the floor, the blurry figure of his shattered glasses already on the ground. A new round of painful sobs wracked his body at the thought.
Warm hands surrounded his body in a thick blanket, Remus wrapping it around both of them. Logan had nearly forgotten what physical contact was like, the warmth and the burning bleeding comfort into him. Remus’s arms squished around his soft belly, holding him close and tight.
He was still angry. At himself, at the others, even at Remus. But he couldn’t bring himself to give an ounce of care as he sunk into the much needed hug.
Taglist: @bluerosesbleedred @mxxangel
#logan sanders#logan angst#intrulogical#platonic intrulogical#patton sanders#virgil sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#ts logan#ts patton#ts virgil#ts roman#ts remus#ts fic#sanders sides fic#grays fics
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as you are | i.
word count: 2.235k
warnings: mentions of sex trafficking, sexual assault, cursing, mentions of child sex trafficking, rapists, arsonists, and serial killers
a/n: hiiiii everyone! so this is a fic that’s been on my mind for the past week or so now, and i felt really inspired to write it! the title comes from the song “as you are” by the weeknd, which will later tie into later chapters. i have watched numerous episodes of criminal minds in the past, and just recently started the whole series over again. so, my apologies if any terminology is incorrect! i hope you all enjoy :))
p.s. - huge shout-out to my best friend @sapphicstars for always listening to my rambles & the advice along the way. thank you <3
“did you know that today is a very significant day in history?” a young man nudged his coworker, his blonde-toned brunette locks a disheveled mess, “jj, it’s august twentieth.”
a slim blonde let out an exasperated sigh, “what is so important about today?”
“in 1866, president andrew johnson declared that the united states civil war was officially over,” his voice was smooth, brimmed with confidence, “it was a new beginning for america, as the slaves were abolished, but as we all know, there was still much discourse present within the country--”
“spencer,” the blonde sucked in a breath, “there is someone else in the elevator with us. i am sure she doesn’t care about the civil war, nor the fact that it’s august twentieth. after all, it’s been over for centuries.”
“i don’t mind,” a brunette cleared her throat, fidgeting in her boots, “good morning, to you both. i’m rowan rivers.”
“rowan rivers,” the blonde’s eyes narrowed into icy slits, “i don’t know why, but that name seems oddly familiar.”
“it’s because she’s the newest member of our team,” the man cut in, his hazel eyes alight with excitement, nearly toppling the blonde over, “rowan. adaline. rivers. wow. i’ve read so much about you.”
“what did you hear about me? i’m quite curious.” a smirk painted the brunette’s lips.
“you were exceptional in your work with columbus p.d.,” he gushed, “y-you were able to infiltrate the sex trafficking rings and apprehend numerous suspects. and god, your methods are just so pristine and concise. you were able to almost completely obliterate child sex-trafficking in the city. i gotta say, i’m kind of star-struck right now.”
“reid,” the blonde’s tone was firm, “let’s not bombard her. it’s her first day.”
“i don’t mind,” rowan’s eyes shone, alight with amusement, “thank you, dr. reid. maybe we can sit down for a coffee sometime and i can share everything that i can about those cases. it wasn’t easy, but it opened new doors for me in my career. your words are too kind, though. i’m no celebrity.”
“you’re welcome,” his lips curled into a shy grin, “maybe i’ll be the one to give you a tour of our office.”
the elevator doors slid open, the sterile light cascading into the tiny space. rowan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, nodding to jj and reid, “after you, please.”
“she’s so polite,” jj’s words were barely audible as she mumbled to reid, “and cute.”
“she’s not cute,” reid countered, “she’s beautiful. a very beautiful, very intelligent woman.”
“well good morning,” a man strolled up to jj and reid, his bright white teeth flashing, “we got a lot of work ahead of us today.”
“shit,” reid muttered, “when’s hotch calling the meeting?”
“oh there’s no meeting,” the man shrugged, his gaze falling on rowan, “i was referring to our newbie.”
“good morning,” rowan offered him a little wave, “i’m--”
the man stepped forward, “oh, i know. you’re miss rowan rivers.”
this newcomer was handsome, an african-american man with warm, bright, mocha eyes. wrinkles etched the skin around his eyes, rowan’s interest piquing as she gazed at him. he must laugh a lot, or even smile often. therefore, he had a more playful personality. perhaps he was the jokester of the team, constantly playing pranks on other members or upholding a constant banter. his hair was cleanly shaven, the light reflecting off of his shiny scalp.
even if his arms were folded across his chest, biceps taut, constrained to the fabric of his plain t-shirt, his aura was kind, only teasing rowan in order to possibly intimidate her.
and boy, was she eager to fire back.
“does everyone know about me?” rowan huffed, her lip quivering into a pout, “i thought that i was going to be able to introduce myself but maybe i won’t have to. i’ll just be this mysterious presence for the rest of the way, lingering about. this phantom that you all seem to know already, but truly know nothing about.”
“shit,” a laugh erupted from the man’s lips, “you got me there. hiya sweetheart, i’m morgan.”
“i would have hoped to at least give everyone five fun facts about myself first,” rowan chuckled, shaking morgan’s hand firmly, “but it appears there’s been quite the buzz in the air.”
“we’re just excited to have you on board,” morgan placed a hand on her shoulder, his tone gentle, “i feel like we’ve all spent so much time around one another lately. it’s nice to have a fresh face.”
“i see that our newbie has arrived,” a new voice cut in, more distinguished, edged with a rasp.
rowan shifted, her throat tightening as an older man made his way towards the group, a smug smile plastered on his face, “h-hi.”
“well hello to you too,” the man let out a chuckle, sticking out his hand, “good morning, ms. rivers. i’m supervisory special agent rossi.”
this face was familiar. one rowan knew all too well. the infamous retired bau agent, a prolific writer and behaviorist, david rossi. even if he was older, and far wiser, he was by far the least intimidating individual rowan had met thus far. his hair was dark, strands of silvery grey prominent. he bore a quaint, kind, smile, his introduction light-hearted.
almost like a father greeting his daughter.
“good morning, agent rossi,” she returned the gesture, “i-i’ve read your book.”
“it seems as if everyone has,” rossi shot her a wink, “so, are you guys going to give her a tour or are you going to make the old guy do it? i mean, i wouldn’t mind, but i have to let hotch know she’s here.”
“hotch?” rowan’s lips parted, “there are more members of the team?”
“you haven’t even met garcia, prentiss, or hotch yet,” morgan remarked.
“and i haven’t formally introduced myself,” the blonde from the elevator piped up, “i’m agent jareau, but you can call me jj.”
rossi murmured a few words to reid before parting from the group, wandering off. rowan’s mind buzzed, anxiety coursing through her veins as jj spoke to her, the sound white noise drowning in her ears. her heart thudding against her rib-cage, palms beginning to clam up.
“i’m so sorry,” rowan placed a hand on her temple, “where’s the bathroom? i just need a second.”
jj blinked, brow furrowing, “a-are you all right rowan?”
“i just need a minute,” the words could barely make it out, the panic setting in.
“i’ll show her,” reid’s voice was hushed as he offered rowan his elbow, “it’s this way.”
roman’s lip trembled, her vision beginning to blur, “o-okay.”
step by step, reid escorted her to the bathroom, the agent even offering to come in with her. rowan accepted, allowing him to follow her into the enclosed space, locking the door behind her.
“you know,” reid cleared his throat, “it’s okay to be nervous, rowan.”
rowan shook her head, tears brimming her lids, “this… this is all so different from columbus.”
“i know,” he murmured, “but we were all nervous on our first day here at the bau. i promise that morgan isn’t that rude and that rossi isn’t a narcissistic asshat. they both come off that way, but they mean well. hell, you haven’t even met hotch yet. he can be cold, but that’s just how he is. you’ll like garcia, i have a feeling the two of you will get along.”
“reid,” rowan exhaled, his name shaky as it tumbled from her mouth, “thank you.”
“please don’t cry,” he pleaded, “profiling is in our nature. i don’t want them to overwhelm you with questions or why you may be upset. things will only get worse and i don’t want them to taint your first day.”
“i’m actually having a wonderful first day,” a giggle bubbled up, echoing off the walls, “you guys all are so welcoming. far better than how i was introduced to columbus police department. they really threw me to the wolves there. the second i set foot in that building, i was thrust into the case. i don’t mind taking things slow.”
“i’m glad,” reid beamed, offering her a wad of toilet paper, “here, blow your nose. also, pat some damp paper towels underneath your eyes. it helps with the puffiness, especially if the water is cold.”
“thank you, again,” facing herself in the mirror, rowan sucked in a deep breath, in an attempt to clear her mind, to soothe the anxiety.
“you look great, by the way. i like the docs.”
“oh,” her gaze fell to the thick black boots, the white laces and seams brighter than ever in the dim light, “i forgot i was wearing them, honestly.”
“a lot more comfortable than heels, right?”
“definitely,” rowan nodded, “my little sister let me borrow them and is never getting them back.”
“they suit you.”
“i feel as if it’s the only way i can really express myself,” rowan shrugged, “i mean, here i am, clad in my cropped dress pants and blazer, white button up freshly ironed, yet happily donning a pair of doc martens on my feet.”
“you know what they say,” reid’s eyes were warm with sympathy, “conformity is boring.”
“quite. i’m ready to meet the rest of the team.”
“good!” reid sprang to his feet, hazel eyes glimmering, “come on, i’ll show you around.”
slipping from the bathroom, rowan clung onto reid as he strolled about, chirping greetings to numerous individuals as they passed by. the ringing of phones, the flurry of papers, and indistinguishable voices bounced off the walls, filling the space around them. the office was bustling with people, all working together for one cause.
working together to profile, pursue, and apprehend the bad guys. anyone from serial killers, to rapists, to arsonists.
some did the paperwork, while others answered the phone. some were the liaisons for the media. some were the agents. some were specialized in the technology department, but here, everyone was unified under that same singular cause.
“so here is where our desks are located,” reid’s voice flooded rowan’s ears once more, his arm sweeping out to gesture to the array of desks, “i think we have a desk set up for you, name tag and everything.”
“we have name tags?”
“on second thought,” reid’s brow furrowed, eyes narrowing as they scanned the cluster, “maybe not. i’m not sure. if you don’t have a desk by tomorrow, you can always just share mine. i barely use it anyways. i’m a bit mobile during the day: floating around, listening to tapes, watching footage, bothering hotch.”
“you guys keep mentioning this hotch guy,” rowan pursed her lips, “i’m aware that he’s the leader of the team, as well as a supervisory special agent, but where is he? is he so overloaded that he can’t even bother to say a quick ‘hello’ or ‘welcome to our team’?”
“oh rowan,” reid chuckled, shaking his head, “you have a lot to learn.”
“now what is that supposed to mean?”
“by the way,” rowan snorted as reid avoided the subject, his gaze flickering over her head, “if you’re so eager to meet hotch, he’s over there.”
rowan arched a brow, swiveling on her heel. following reid’s line of sight, her breath hitched on her throat as her eyes fell on the sight of him.
he was standing near morgan and jj, a hand grasping his chin, brows scrunched together, as if he was deep in thought. his dark hair, almost an inky black, was recently trimmed, yet there was a hint of stubble that ghosted his skin. his complexion was fair, jawline framing an utterly handsome face. in the light, rowan couldn’t quite distinguish the color of his eyes. were they a deep coffee brown? a flint grey?
a jet-black suit spanned across his broad shoulders, a red patterned tie around his neck. underneath the jacket was a clean, freshly pressed white shirt, not a wrinkle in sight. his shoes were polished, clicking against the floor as he made his way over to rowan.
aaron hotchner towered over her, no trace of a smile or grin apparent. his aura exuded nothing but authority, his badge clipped to the front of his suit, file in his grasp. yet, his voice was deep, flowing so smoothly from his mouth.
“you must be agent rivers.”
rowan swallowed thickly, “yes, i am.”
his dark eyes locked with hers, his head cocked ever so slightly. her heart lurched as she distinguished the hardened chestnut hue of his irises. the emotion gleaming in their depths was unforgiving, cold and cruel.
“i don’t care if you’re fresh to the unit and this is your first day. wear a different pair of shoes tomorrow.”
“but--” rowan began, desperate to formulate some sort of response.
“hotch,” reid interjected, his tone firm, “you can’t be serious. it’s her first da--”
“and i don’t care,” rowan flinched at the venomous barb laced in the words, “agent rivers, wear a different pair of shoes tomorrow. i just received word from jj about a new case.”
“oh,” reid’s tough exterior crumbled, “well, what are we going to do about it?”
“start with a meeting,” he responded coolly, “as we always do.”
“yipee,” the reply was barely audible under rowan’s breath, hotch’s attention returning to her once more.
“you’re welcome to join us. and you better not trip on those on your way there.”
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
tagged: @sapphicstars @colorlessfl0wers
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Ask the trouble trio: you should ask Ro to fusion- I’m sorry I meant formally dance with you Virge. Avoid the Remy situation all together
Big thanks to @moonlightshow00 to help inspire this chapter, your reblogs are golden.
It made sense… mostly. What were they going to say at first?
Nevermind. Not important. Just ask Roman to dance. He’d be okay with that… Right?
Virgil sighed and returned to his post at Roman’s side.
It’s not like he was asking a stranger to dance. This was Roman. At worst he’d tease him about it.
He’s the romantic side. If he wants to dance at a royal ball he’ll dance everyone off the floor. No matter who his partner is, right? Even if it’s someone like Virgil, who’s never danced at a party like this. Closest he’s gotten was a concert, and that couldn’t really qualify as dancing.
He’d barely turned to face the crowd, hadn’t had the chance to form the question properly in his mind, or he saw a young woman bow in front of him. Really?
“Sir Virgil, it’s an honor. I’ve heard much about your courage and fighting prowes.”
Virgil wracked his brain, he knew he’d been introduced to her earlier.
“Princess Evelyne. How are you enjoying the party so far?” Roman offered.
Virgil thanked his lucky stars for Roman’s alertness.
“It is a true pleasure sire,” she bowed.
“I was wondering actually…” she started as she glanced over to Virgil nervously.
“If I could borrow you for a dance Sir?”
Virgil wanted to glare at Remy. Really? That was just cruel. How to let her down gently? She was a princess. Was turning her down going to cause some kind of incident?
“That is very kind of you your highness. But Sir Virgil does not wish to embarrass either of you. He is known to have two left feet on the dancefloor.”
It was a kind gesture, truly. But Virgil had to throw Roman the stink eye. Two left feet. He wasn’t clumsy at all.
“Oh,” the princess breathed.
“Slay a monster no problem. Defeat numerous opponents in one on one combat. Child’s play. But put him on a flat surface with some music…”
“I think she gets the picture your highness,” Virgil interrupted.
Then he turned to the young Princess. “I do hope you enjoy the rest of your evening, your highness,” he bowed with a friendly smile.
The princess bowed and left. The second she was out of ear shot Roman chuckled, earning himself a glare.
“Really?” Virgil asked.
“It worked,” Roman offered, still amused.
He’d wipe that smirk off his face once he swept him of his feet on the dance floor. This was a matter of principle, of pride, now.
“Ahem…”
Oh for the love off…
Virgil looked up, praying this time it was someone looking for Roman, even if that would mean he would lose his escape route.
The way the young man was looking at him begged to differ.
This time he remembered the name, because he recognized it.
“Barron Crawford,” he greeted.
“Sir Virgil, your highness,” the barron bowed.
“Rumor has it that you are formidable with a sword.”
Was Remus rubbing off on him, or… Nope not going there.
“I’ve been well trained in dueling,” he nodded calmly.
“Marvelous. Well shall we see how your footwork is out here?”
This guy was much more confident. But not in an attractive way.
“I apologize sir, but isn’t that your knight flirting with… Oh, is that Lady Thornclaw?”
The baron paled. “Apologies sire. I have to go.” And just like that. Gone.
Virgil saw that there was indeed a knight flirting with a very sour looking Thornclaw.
“Was he … Roman did you…?” Roman wouldn’t…
“The knight was drunk already. I simply… Suggested he flirt with the first person he saw. It was a random thought… a ghost of an idea really…”
“See… It’s not that bad is it?” Remus grinned wickedly. “I’ll make a fun guy out of you yet Roman just you wait,” he teased.
Roman rolled his eyes. “I was merely helping Virgil,” he assured.
Virgil just thought of the perfect way to ask Roman to dance. But once again, before he could.
“Excuse me, pardon my forward interruption…”
Virgil was ready to tell whoever it was to get lost, but what he saw kind of took him by surprise.
The nobleman in front of him was… A Disney prince.
“Prince Florian… What a surprise,” Roman greeted, genuinely taken aback.
“Prince Roman, may I have the honor of welcoming sir Virgil back to the kingdom with his first dance.”
Pardon?
Roman glanced to Virgil and could tell that he was not very happy with the way the question was phrased.
“I don’t know, you might have to ask him that,” Roman offered.
The prince looked up realizing his mistake. “I…”
“Apologies Prince Florian. But I’m afraid my dance card is full for the night,” Virgil replied as politely as he could.
The prince, clearly embarrassed of his faux par, stood, bowed respectably, and left.
That was enough.
“Thanks for trying to help Roman, but I can fight my own battles,” Virgil sighed.
“Oh? Then I am curious how you are going to fend of the next admirer,” Roman teased.
“Oh, I’m going to take care of all of them in one move Princey,” Virgil grinned.
“How’s that?”
Virgil made a bow for the prince. “Would you do me the honor of having this dance your highness?” He asked.
Meanwhile Remus had joined Remy with the orchestra.
“It looks like the first phase is underway… So. On to you for phase two.”
Remus grinned. “I have a Disney song, an emo song and two party classics even Virgie can’t mess up. What do ya think?”
Hmmmm…. What do you think. Something slow and familiar. Or something light and fun?
Next
@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris
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Can I request 14 and 22 for ler!Pat and any lee?
(In my last ask, I asked for 14 and 22 but I missed the bit about only one prompt so just 22 is fine, sorry!!)
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(no longer accepting prompts from this list)
All good, thank you!! Coming right up for you!
22. “Was that a giggle?”
Noisy Giggles
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Ship(s): platonic or romantic Royality
Characters (lee/ler): Ler!Patton, Lee!Roman
Word Count: 503 words
Summary: Patton had no idea that vocal cords could tickle someone so well.
[ao3 link]
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Patton swung his legs where they rested over the edge of the bed and hummed a little tune. He and Roman had been hanging out and decided to take a quiet break, draping themselves across Roman’s bed and laying perpendicular to each other, with Patton’s head pillowed on Roman’s chest. The issue was, Patton didn’t want to stop laying there together, but he was starting to get a little restless.
He hoped changing positions would help, so he shifted. He rolled over onto his stomach so he was instead laying against Roman’s stomach. He bent his legs so that he could comfortably kick his feet around in the air. The position switch did help a little bit, so Patton settled back in and started humming once more.
Roman shifted under him, but Patton didn’t think much of it. Both of them had issues staying still at the best of times, it was expected that Roman would be a little fidgety. Except, it kept happening, and Patton was starting to get a little worried.
He raised his head to check. “Are you alright, Ro?”
“Uh, yeah,” Roman said, clearing his throat. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah! Just chill out, Pat, it’s all good.”
Patton studied his face for a few more moments and decided he meant it, so he laid back down, resting his chin and throat against Roman’s stomach and continuing to hum. It was barely a few moments before Roman squirmed again, a little sound escaping him.
Wait...
“Was that a giggle?” Patton asked, looking up with a grin slowly spreading across his face.
“Um... No?”
“Oh, no?” Patton asked. He rested his throat against Roman’s stomach again. “There were no giggles whatsoever, Ro-Ro?”
Roman started giggling and wiggling under him. “No,” he lied, even through his laughter.
Patton laughed and it made Roman squeal. “How are you so ticklish?” Patton giggled out. “Does it really tickle that much?”
“Yes!” Roman cried out, hands fisting into the bed sheets so he wouldn’t accidentally hit Patton in his flailing. “Your throat vibrates with sound and it tickles so bad!”
Patton laughed harder, and it only served to make Roman squeal louder. He drummed his feet against the bed and tossed his head back as his giggles got a little hysterical.
“Pat!” He cried. “Pat, please!”
“Please what, Ro-Ro?”
“Enough!” Roman squealed.
Patton gave one last giggle and rolled off Roman, scooting up so they were laying side-by-side against the pillows. Roman’s eyes slipped closed as his giggles slowed.
“That was fun,” Patton said.
“Yeah, yeah,” Roman grumbled, but there was a smile on his face. He sat up with a loud sigh and peeled his eyes open, reaching for his laptop. “Wanna watch Steven Universe?”
“Would I ever!”
He curled up against Roman’s side with a bright smile, almost bouncing in his excitement. And if throughout their watch party there were numerous little pokes and prods passed back and forth, those giggles remained between the two of them.
#tickle fic#My writing#sanders sides tickling#lee!roman#ler!patton#ticklish!roman#sanders sides#roman sanders#patton sanders#platonic royality#royality
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Black and White (Part XXVIII)
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII | Part XXIX
((Remind me again why I chose to use Roman Numerals for the chapters?! Anyway... ENJOY!!! <3))
Remus arrived at Black and White early in the afternoon, wearing his one and only suit. He was clean-shaven, his hair was brushed, and he looked as presentable as he could manage, all things considered.
As he entered the gallery, he noticed that there were already a few people there. James and Lily were walking around, organizing tables with food and pamphlets. There was a makeshift bar set up, where a server was sorting the alcohol and setting out glasses. Sirius was talking with a member of the waitstaff, giving directions and explaining what needed to be done throughout the night.
Still feeling the weight of anxiety pressing heavily on his shoulders, Remus headed over to the bar.
"Hey…" He managed to get out, smiling at the woman behind the counter. She gave him a confused look. "Oh, uh… I'm one of the artists. I'm… I'm allowed to be here, I promise."
"Oh!" She said, beaming at Remus. "Well, your work is very beautiful!"
"Ah… thanks…" Remus felt himself smile, despite the whole Sirius situation; it was really nice to be complimented on his work and it happened so rarely in his life. The bartender returned his grin, a slight flush falling across her cheeks.
"You'd better get used to people saying that. This night is all about you and your art."
"Heh… yeah," Remus answered awkwardly. "I suppose it is."
"You look like you could use a glass of wine…"
"You know what…" Remus eyed the collection of fancy wines behind the bar; wines that he was allowed to try for free thanks to his art. He had worked hard to get to this point, and regardless of how his personal life was looking, he knew he should still take a moment to be proud of himself. He had come so far in just a few weeks. "I think I will have one. I deserve it."
The bartender poured Remus a glass, which he graciously accepted and brought with him as he walked through the gallery. He paused in front of his most recent work, taking in the depth of the painting, remembering his emotions as he had brought it to life. He was still experiencing the same turmoil, still struggling through the same complex feelings.
"Do not get drunk tonight," a voice said from behind the artist.
Remus froze, feeling his stomach tighten and his shoulders tense. He turned around to face Sirius, hardening his expression.
"It's a glass of wine, Sirius. I think I'm entitled to it," he spat, glaring at the gallery owner. Sirius was purposefully causing trouble at this point.
"Yes, well, we don't want any mean old gallery owners taking advantage of you when you pass out." Sirius had a sneer on his face as he taunted Remus, and the artist clenched his fists in fury.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Sirius?!" Remus' voice was louder than he intended and it rang through the gallery, echoing across the walls.
Sirius was about to retort, most likely some snide comment, when James approached them.
"Office. Both of you. Now!"
Remus had never seen James that angry before. His voice was sharp and aggressive, paired with a deep crimson glow spreading across his cheeks. The dark umber of his eyes flashed with intensity. Remus shrunk before his penetrating glare, feeling surprisingly small before the other man.
"This is my gallery, Potter! You can't tell me what to do!"
"Sirius, you're embarrassing yourself," James growled, stepping towards the gallery owner. "There are people here. Act professional. You and Remus need to go into your office and sort this shit out, do you understand me?"
Sirius looked like he was deliberating, considering his retort, before he changed his mind and turned around in a huff. He marched himself straight to the gallery office and Remus dutifully followed, feeling like a child that had just been scolded.
Once the two of them were in the office, James stuck his head through the door.
"If this isn't settled by the time the show opens, so help me—"
"Yes, James," Sirius grumbled, acting more like James' son than his brother.
James left Remus and Sirius alone in the office, closing the door behind him. Once they were by themselves, Sirius turned to Remus, glaring at him expectantly.
"Well?"
"Well what?" Remus snapped angrily. He was tired of Sirius playing games with him. He understood that he did something wrong, but the gallery owner had no right to provoke him and try to draw a reaction. "You're the one who came up to me!"
Sirius crossed his arms and let out a pfft while rolling his eyes.
"I was just making sure that you knew not to get drunk this evening, so as to not repeat past mistakes."
"Fuck off!" Remus yelled, forgetting himself for a moment and allowing his frustration to take over. "You know what? Yeah! I thought we hooked up while I was drunk! Is that such an absurd thought?! Is it really so farfetched that I thought I had sex with you?!"
Sirius looked taken aback.
"Yes, Remus! You were drunk!" He was clearly upset, his pale skin turning a bright shade of red across his cheeks and ears.
"So what?!" Remus shouted, finally putting words to the feelings that had been boiling up inside of him. "I thought we fucked! I've spent the past three weeks thinking about it, of course I'd assume that Drunk Remus would act on it!"
Sirius' mouth was hanging open. He blinked.
"You…"
Sirius was at a loss for words. Remus rolled his eyes and continued his tirade.
"Yeah. There it is. The whole damn truth. Pathetic little Remus had feelings for Sirius! Laugh it up! Tell me how stupid it is that someone like me could even fathom being with someone like you! I know it's insane! I get that! And I know I'm an idiot for thinking it could actually happen! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I thought we had sex! I'm sorry it felt like I thought you were a bad person! I didn't. I just assumed that… maybe… I just…"
Remus cut himself off. What did he assume?
"... you're not an idiot." Sirius muttered, his eyes drifting down slightly.
"Shut up, Sirius! Just… shut up! I don't need your pity! I don't need everyone's pity! I don't need people feeling bad for the pathetic artist who isn't good enough to make it on his own!" Remus didn't even know what he was yelling about at this point, he was just yelling. He was getting all of his feelings out, the ones that didn't fit into his paintings, and he seemed to have broken the damn.
"I don't think you're pathetic..."
"God dammit, Sirius! I just… I thought maybe… just maybe… there was a chance that… that you liked me too. That's why I assumed we had sex. I just… part of me… and it's so stupid, I know that. I see that now. I just didn't realize it at the time."
"... you're not stupid."
Remus stared at Sirius, completely floored. What was Sirius playing at? A moment ago, he had been inexplicably rude to Remus. Why would his tune change so suddenly?
"Don't patronize me! Don't you think you've made me feel bad enough?! I never meant to accuse you of anything! It was a mistake!"
"...I know."
Remus stopped. He stared open-mouthed at the man before him, whose face was crestfallen and… guilty?
"You know?! Yesterday you yelled at me about this!"
"I didn't know yesterday. But… I get it now."
"What are you talking about?!"
"I— I hadn't realized…" Sirius looked up at Remus, stormy grey eyes clouded with remorse. He looked lost, sincere, authentically apologetic. Remus felt his breath catch in his chest as he stared into Sirius' eyes, remembering their night together talking in the gallery. It had been so honest — a different side to Sirius that rarely came out.
"What hadn't you realized, Sirius?" Remus' voice was quivering. He was still upset, but he wasn't shouting. He didn't feel like he needed to yell anymore in order to be heard.
"I— I didn't know that you— that you wanted— " Sirius' body moved forward the slightest amount, an infinitesimally small step that brought their two worlds that much closer together. "I didn't realize that you had feelings for me."
"Fuck off," Remus swore, rolling his eyes. "Of course you knew. You've spent the past few weeks shamelessly flirting with me! Only now I realize that I was just a plaything for you." Remus didn't notice how harsh his words were until he saw the hurt painted across Sirius' features. "Is— isn't that what you were doing?"
"I… I flirted with you because I liked you, Remus… I just assumed you…" Sirius eyes flickered away for just a moment. "You never flirted back, I just assumed you weren't interested."
Remus stared at Sirius, confusion written across his face.
"The fuck? Sirius, you're… you're the gallery owner. Of course I couldn't— I just— what the hell is going on?" The artist ran a hand through his curls, trying to think, trying to sort out the past few weeks in his mind. "Then what was that out there?" He gestured wildly towards the rest of the gallery. "What the hell was that?"
"I was mad, Remus! I thought… I thought you had blamed me! I thought that you thought that I took advantage of you!" Sirius scrunched his face up in frustration— still looking surprisingly attractive— before brushing his bangs away from his eyes. "I was mad when you left and assumed we did it because I thought you thought the worst of me. I was hurt."
"I told you—"
"I know! I just… it never crossed my mind that… that you thought we hooked up because it was something you wanted to do… it just… never occurred to me that— that you'd even want to!"
"Of course I'd fucking want to…" Remus mumbled before he caught himself. "Shit… I mean… not that… I just—"
Before Remus could explain to the gallery owner why he just admitted to wanting to have sex with him, Sirius was suddenly there, in front of Remus, raising a hand to brush an errant curl from the artist's eyes. Remus blinked up into swirling blues and greys, wondering what the hell happened in the last few minutes that caused this.
"Sirius, I—"
"Remus…" Sirius muttered, barely audibly, the name lilting off his tongue. The pad of Sirius' thumb grazed Remus' cheek, an almost imperceptible touch of skin on skin. "Remus, I fancy you. I have for a while now. And I probably should have told you sooner."
"B— but…" Remus stammered, trying to make sense of everything. "But you were so mean out there… and— and— and you were so mad at me!"
"I was an idiot. I didn't think someone as perfect as you could ever care about someone as broken as me. And I built up barriers between us... I am so sorry."
Sirius' voice was tender, affectionate, paired with such an earnest gleam in his eyes. Remus felt himself melting before Sirius' smouldering gaze, felt the wall between them finally shatter.
"I'm not perfect…" Remus mumbled. It was all he could think to say in response.
"I want to kiss you…" Sirius' words were barely a whisper, and Remus' heart was racing. His mind flashed back to the previous weekend, the feeling of Sirius' lips against his own, the way their mouths moved. Remus wanted this, more than anything, but he felt a tug in his stomach. The voice in his head was warning him against this, reminding him of their dynamic, of gallery owner and artist. Sirius was in a position of power over him, and yet…
Sirius hadn't moved. He was waiting for Remus to respond. He refused to act on anything without Remus' express consent.
Remus closed his eyes and closed the gap, pressing his lips into Sirius'. He felt Sirius' hand cup his face, the other one weaving around his body. He felt Sirius' lips moving in sync with his own. Remus could have sworn that he was floating, his feet lifting off the ground. He felt fireworks in his stomach, exploding and crackling and causing a ruckus so loud, he was sure Sirius could hear it.
This was exactly where Remus wanted to be— where he wanted to spend the rest of his life— right there in Sirius' arms.
Knock knock knock.
Remus almost yelped, he was so startled. He immediately pulled away from Sirius, breaking their connection and the magic that tied them together. The expression on Sirius' face told Remus that he was equally as surprised and dismayed.
"I don't hear yelling. Should I be happy, or is one of you dead?"
Sirius cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"N— No one's dead, Potter. Don't worry." He turned to Remus and offered a sheepish smile before straightening himself up and adjusting his tie. "I think… I think things are worked out."
Sirius gave one last glance over to Remus, who was still standing there, mouth agape, wondering what was going on. Sirius reached out and gently brushed his fingers against Remus' arm, offering the artist a timid grin filled with emotion. Then, as if transforming into a different person altogether, Sirius turned around and threw his Gallery Owner smile onto his face.
Sirius opened the door and nodded at James, who was waiting just outside of the office.
"Not to worry, Potter. Remus has assured me that this misunderstanding won't happen again."
The artist stood in the office for a moment, briefly considering staying there all night. He shook his head out, rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, and took a page from Sirius' book. The man who emerged from the office was Artist Remus: feigning confidence and ready to perform the song and dance required of him to sell his work.
((So? Was it all worth the wait? ;) ))
#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar fanfiction#black and white#wolfstar fanfic#my writing#Black and White part 28#part 28#part XXVIII#my fanfiction#B&W#I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE!!#It’s been a LONG TIME COMING!!!#tw: swearing#tw: mentions of sex#I’M SO HAPPY I FINALLY GOT TO POST THIS!!#Don’t worry friends#this is not the end!#There is still more coming!#But I’m just SO glad that I got this posted#It’s been in the works for quite a bit#the fight in the office#the yelling#James getting ANGRY#Ugggh#It feels good to be done this#HOORAY!!!#I love you all! Thanks for your support!!!#my art
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Sorry!! A lil bit random, but I wanted to wish you a good day and also ask if you maybe had some rambles? Anything that you headcanon or maybe you just want to put in a story but can't because that would need a *full entire story*? Oh uh! Have a nice day!
Oh gosh! I'm sorry ms. Elena! I was the one to ask for spare rambles! I keep on forgetting to sign off, I apologize! ~Confused anon
Oh my goodness, so many!
I’ve managed to wiggle this into my intrumas fic for tsxsides week, but I love the idea character Thomas’ thoughts are influenced by whatever side is nearby, so literally none of them can sneak up on him. He’ll just be like “hm... I should probably just tell the team I wasn’t able to get all the footage I needed for this week, or I could claim my camera went on the fritz– oh, hey, Janus.”
Also, human au Remus’ job is horny oil painter for the cover of romance novels. I do not take constructive criticism.
Other stuff I really want to include in a fic / vague wips I have:
Roman overthrowing his sibling, Patton, as next in line for the throne for the throne, because Logan, who was originally politically engaged to Patton, ended up marrying Roman, and Roman can’t deny his love the throne
A fic about Roman being oblivious about Remus’ ‘secret’ relationship with Logan, his best friend, and the numerous times he walks in on them being all couple-y. Queue hilarity. At the end, Virgil asks why Roman’s acting so oblivious. Roman, deadpan, responds: ‘they’re so busy hiding their secret, they haven’t bothered noticing I’m banging Janus.’
Dukexiety!!! I want to write dukexiety so bad, but I can’t come up with anything good for them :((( (that being said, they probably do graffiti and get drunk together i’m js)
also... dark royality...... power couple.... a little stabby but that’s okay...
Also, I have like a gazillion TMA wips
I have a blank google doc with the title “Is kissing the homies gay”. No idea what goes in there, but gosh darn it shall be spectacular.
God of death Logan / God of Love Roman wip, analyzing humanity’s superiority to the gods, because they understand the fragile nature of life and fleeting beauty of experience
Also!!! Royaliceit fic where Roman and Virgil are bffs who are Suspicious of Janus simping for Ro and Pat, because they think he’s up to Evil Schemes
The fic I will write as soon as I’m done with Kill the Lights and The Princey Bride (so like,, never /j): a dlamp fahrenheit 451 au!
Jongerry. That is all.
No that’s a lie I want to write one where Jon is always like ‘oh yeah i have a hot goth bf’ and no one in the archives believes him but then gerry shows up and they’re all like ?!?!
I’ve got like 72+ wips and I have like a gazillion more but I got sick of counting after that. Some of them have like 6k+ in them, but I just can’t finish for whatever reason :(
#asks#enough rambles for you? ;p#confused anon#sanders sides#sanders squad#i shall be merciful and not tag ships#no clogging for you
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Your Words and Feelings, Chapter One
When his alarm went off, Virgil flinched in surprise as his eyes snapped quickly to the time displayed at the top corner of his phone. Had he really stayed up all night again? Apparently, yes, he had, and he was sure to get called out about it later. With a heavy, exhausted sigh, he made the alarm shut up and reluctantly rolled out of bed to start getting ready for the day. After doing his regular morning routine, he grabbed some food and finally looked down at his hand to check for the writing he knew would be there.
In red ink and fancy handwriting in the middle of the back of Virgil's hand was a small line of text reading: Good morning, my loves, I hope you all have a lovely day!
Below it, Virgil watched as sky blue ink in a curly, bubbly font quickly appeared in response, showing a drawing of a smiley face with a text bubble that cheerily proclaimed "You too! Thank you, Red!"
Virgil grinned as he pulled out his purple pen and scrawled back a small, quick note above the red. "Thanks Princey, right back at ya." With a sigh, he grabbed his stuff and set off for school, not even bothering to see if the owner of the occasional dark blue ink would reply. He rarely did, but Virgil got the impression that he appreciated seeing the notes from his soulmates nonetheless. At least, Virgil hoped he wasn't bothering him or the others with his little notes.
Entering his first class, Virgil sighed heavily as he dropped his bag heavily to the floor by his desk, then proceeded to drop himself heavily into his chair, both resulting in loud thumps. One more small thump sounded as Virgil laid down heavily over his desk, hiding his head in his arms and appreciating the soft warmth his hoodie’s sleeves provided.
He ignored the teacher as class started, figuring that because it was the Friday before a three day weekend, they wouldn’t expect them to do anything too important anyway. Not that he really cared right now even if it were important. He honestly would not have budged the whole time he had been in class if it hadn't been for the hesitant taps he felt on his arm. He snapped his gaze up with a glare, expecting it to be the teacher, but his eyes immediately softened when he saw that it was just the kid who sat next to him, looking hesitant as he fiddled with and adjusted his glasses numerous times.
“Hey… do you by any chance have a pen I can borrow? I must have dropped mine on the way to school.” Virgil sighed softly, but he looked so hopeful and desperate that Virgil couldn’t bring himself to say no. So he handed over the first pen he found, only realizing too late that it was his purple pen, the one he only used when communicating with his soulmates. The person who Virgil had given the pen to thanked him profusely and quickly started taking the notes before Virgil could do anything about his mistake though, and now he felt far too anxious to ask for it back before he was done using it, despite the pen belonging to him. He just hoped he would get it back, but for now, Virgil just put his head down again. He was too tired to deal with things at the moment.
The sound of the bell dismissing first period startled Virgil out of his half asleep state, causing him to slam his knee into the metal leg of his desk suddenly, and do so with enough force that it made Virgil’s stomach hurt. He hissed in pain at the same time the person next to him did, as they both reached for their knee. Surprise and dim recognition lit up in Virgil’s eyes as he rubbed at his knee, but the boy next to him hadn’t even realized what had happened, and was too preoccupied checking over his own knee to notice Virgil.
“Show me your hands,” Virgil requested, his voice still a bit gruff from exhaustion and pain. The person in question looked up at Virgil and nervously picked at the cardigan draped over his shoulders. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached his hands out to Virgil while looking at him curiously and very confused. Grabbing the one he knew it would be, should Virgil be right, he bit his lip and looked at it closely. Not that he needed to look to close before catching the fancy red script followed by sky blue and purple ink, and a small dark blue check mark. Checking his own hand, Virgil realized he must have missed it while he was asleep, but he had the dark blue check mark on his hand as well. Giving the boy in front of him a tired smile, Virgil held his hand out as well, watching as his new-found soulmate’s face went from puzzled to elated in seconds when he realized.
“Oh this is wonderful! I’m Patton!” He enthusiastically introduced himself as he seemed to literally vibrate with happy energy. Before Virgil knew it, Patton had flung his arms around Virgil’s neck and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m the sky blue ink! I’m assuming you’re purple?” He giggled softly as he stepped back to hand Virgil his purple pen back. Virgil could only nod numbly, being too tired to really keep up with Patton’s quick speech and excitable energy.
“Uh, I’m Virgil.” Virgil smiled at the slightly shorter boy, then pulled his phone out from his jacket pocket. Unlocking it, he quickly navigated to the phone keypad and handed it to Patton. “Give me your number? That way we can talk over the weekend?” Virgil offered awkwardly. He needn’t have been worried though. Patton beamed brightly at his suggestion and eagerly grabbed the phone from Virgil’s hands. Virgil had never seen someone type so quickly in his life.
“Ooh! I have C lunch! What do you have? If you’re up for it, we can meet up and talk then!” Patton bounced up and down excitedly. He beamed at Virgil as he handed him his phone back.
“I have C lunch too, and yeah I’m down for meeting up and talking then. I need to get going now though or I’ll be late for my next class… but I’ll see you later?” He smiled softly at Patton, and he nodded vigorously, before quickly grabbing his stuff and basically skipping out of the room with a cheery goodbye.
Virgil blinked, half believing he had imagined it all through his sleep deprived state, but glancing down at his phone, Patton’s contact was still there. Virgil smiled when he noticed he had added a sky blue heart emoji after his name. Virgil decided to keep it that way forever, and he really hoped that soon, he’d have two other names in his phone set up in similar style.
-----------------------------
Roman felt completely and utterly drained and fully exhausted, right down to his very soul. One or more of his soulmates must have pulled yet another all-nighter, and he had a pretty good idea of who it was. It was becoming much too common a habit these days, and Roman was getting sick of it, even though he knew that if it was the person he thought, he couldn’t control it any more than Roman could.
However, on the same token, normally Roman was a morning person. Before, people had even said that he practically glowed in the morning; they would always say that Roman was so bright and full of energy and that it made them happy to see someone so excited about every day, no matter how weird that mindset was as a freshman in college. Roman didn’t care that it was weird, he loved being full of energy and starting the day off in a positive mood. After all, the whole world’s a stage, as the saying goes, and Roman needed energy to perform his very best on that stage.
However, with the extreme lack of sleep running in the background of his brain all the time, all he got now was concerned comment after concerned comment. Roman was touched that his peers and teachers cared about his well being and that they actually checked in when his normally chipper mood was drastically different, but he swore he was going to scream if one more person asked him if he was alright when he was so clearly not. Despite Roman’s strict sleeping schedule and him getting more than the typically recommended eight hours, he still felt exhausted straight down his very bones. It was annoying. It also didn’t help that his knee hurt, also a result of one of his soulmates.
Sometimes the shared feelings bond between soulmates was such a hassle. Sure, he enjoyed feeling when his soulmates were excited and happy about things, as it made him feel all warm inside, happy that they were happy. However, he hated when he could feel when they were sad, depressed, hurt, angry, in pain, tired, etc and had no way to be there for them and help. All he could do now was write messages to them in red ink, and not even the messages that truly mattered such as his name, his number, or his location in order to meet them faster, due to whatever strange magic governed the soul bond between soulmates.
Grudgingly, Roman pulled out his fancy red pen, the pen he used only to write to his soulmates, because they were special and deserved a special pen. Wiping away their standard morning greetings with the help of a one-use rubbing alcohol pad, Roman began to write in his fancy, flowing script. He couldn't help but notice that it was actually much sloppier than it normally was. He couldn’t really bring himself to care all that much either though. He blamed his exhaustion and frustration for both.
Okay, which one of you pulled another all nighter? This is three in a row and it’s getting a bit ridiculous. Also, who hurt themselves? My knee has been aching all morning! You all must be more careful; injuries especially when exhausted have more effect, you know.
The scrawling purple text was slow to appear. It was as if the writer was hesitant. Roman felt bad that he had been so demanding; he never wanted his loves to be hesitant around him.
Sorry Princey. Those were both me. Insomnia is hitting me hard this week; I’ll try harder to sleep tonight. As for the knee… I got startled and rammed it into the metal leg of my desk. Not the best start to my morning, honestly.
Roman winced in sympathy. That all sounded horribly unpleasant. Roman wished he knew the owner of the purple ink. He wondered if he could help with the sleep issue in any way. He understood that insomnia couldn’t be controlled, but he wondered if maybe he could be able to help at least by singing or cuddling him till he was lulled to sleep. He wished to meet his soulmates soon; he was a hopeless romantic and thrived off of giving and receiving affection, love, and care with those he loved dearly. Despite never meeting his soulmates, Roman already knew he loved them to the very bottom of his heart. He only wished he could show them just how much in person.
Then, strangely, a small note began to appear on Roman’s wrist. However, this note wasn’t in purple, sky blue, or dark blue, the only colors his soulmates used. It was in a thick, dark black ink, like that of a sharpie marker.
Note to self: replace lost pen. Also, cookies? Or brownies?
The last part gave away who had written that easily enough and Roman chuckled. It was sky blue, or as they had nicknamed him, Padre. He was always making lists and reminders on his skin, and a lot of them pertained to sweets most of the time. Roman couldn’t wait to try the baked goods his soulmate must be quite good at making by now.
Okay, don’t worry about it Stormcloud. Roman wrote to purple, smiling as he used their occasional nickname for him. Take it easy today though, alright? Maybe ice that knee when you can. Also, Padre, did you really lose your pen?
Roman couldn’t help but smirk as he wrote back, addressing sky blue. He really did hope purple got some rest soon though, his insomnia was getting much worse lately and it was concerning. However, he was thoroughly amused at sky blue’s forgetfulness. He found it endlessly endearing and adorable, even though he had never seen it in person. This time, when Padre wrote back, it was in standard black ink pen, which Roman figured he must have just found in order to abandon the sharpie.
Yeah, I must have dropped it on the way to school or something! No biggie though; at least it was something easy to replace, even though I did love that pen in particular!
Roman smiled at that, too. He loved everything about his soulmates, even the one who used dark blue ink and didn’t interact as much as the other two. He had explained before that he didn’t really like writing on his skin directly, but that he didn’t mind seeing his soulmates converse. In fact, he had admitted it was enjoyable to see them talk, even if he wasn’t a part of it all that often.
Oh! Princey, Padre and I met this morning in class. Maybe now that one of us has met the other, that means we’ll all see each other soon? I hope so, at least. What about you?
The purple ink’s words made Roman’s heart stop for a second. Stormcloud and Padre had met? Oh, Roman was jealous, 100%, but he was also beyond excited.
Oh, I do hope so too! I can’t wait until I meet you all! Then I can spoil you all properly with plenty of love and affection!
Roman sighed happily as he began daydreaming about meeting his soulmates again for the thousandth time. He wanted to know all about them. He loved them with all his heart; they were all bound to be wonderful people and Roman had always felt so incredibly lucky that he seemed to have three wonderfully unique soulmates that he was destined to be with one day. It made his romantic heart melt and ache all at once everytime he thought about it. Checking his hand and the ink that had travelled up and down his arm as space ran out, he realized that Stormcloud had only responded with a checkmark, due to there being no open spaces left to respond. Roman quickly added his check mark, and so did dark blue and Padre. On cue, the ink started to disappear as one or more of them began wiping away the writing, save for Padre’s sharpie note.
The four of them had come up with that system long ago; if multiple parties were conversing and space ran out, they would all have to indicate whether or not it could be erased. Without 100% agreement, the writing would stay in order to prevent each other from getting rid of important things or things they hadn’t read yet. Dark blue, or Teach, as they often called them, had proposed that plan, and Roman had to admit that it worked perfectly for all of them.
After everything was wiped off, Roman smiled fondly at his arm, still stained with the colors of his soulmates. Occasionally, even wiping the ink off so soon after it was applied still left ghost marks of the words and colors behind. Roman loved that it occasionally looked like his arm was a faded tie-dye project. It was colorful and beautiful and served as a pleasant reminder of how lucky he was. Roman adored it.
Eventually, and with a small sigh of exhaustion, Roman decided to head off of his college campus, and toward a local coffee shop that had opened close by recently. He didn’t have any more classes today anyway, and a friend had told him that the coffee there tasted simply amazing, and that even other people who claimed to not be coffee people liked their stuff. Personally, Roman had never been overly fond of coffee, but he did appreciate the effects it had, especially in times such as these when he felt he might pass out at any second. He felt more and more tired as time passed, and he could only guess at how awful purple must be feeling since the exhaustion originated from him. However, Roman couldn’t help him yet, so he had to settle for trying to chase away the exhaustion that crept into his own system from the soul bond.
As he pushed open the door to the small little cafe, a small bell chimed pleasantly to announce his arrival. An employee greeted him politely with some sort of standard welcome, and Roman politely smiled and nodded at her in acknowledgement. He quickly walked up to the order counter and looked over the menu.
“Hi, what can I get for you?” The cashier asked cheerfully, smiling at him brightly. Roman smiled back at her tiredly.
“Ah, what do you suggest? I’m normally not much of a coffee guy, but a friend insisted I try coffee from here and that it would change my mind.” Roman chuckled softly. “It’s my first time here so I honestly don’t know what most of this,” he gestured slightly at the menu off to the side, “is. What’s good, is basically what I’m asking.” Roman laughed slightly, the notes laced thick with nerves and exhaustion. The cashier only smiled back at him again.
“Oh this happens all the time now! So many non-coffee drinkers have been coming in lately on advice from a friend; it’s kinda crazy actually!” She chuckled and threw her hands out in an ‘I dunno’ gesture. “People new to coffee typically like sweeter drinks as opposed to more bitter, so a frappuccino might be a good place for you to start! I personally say you can’t go wrong starting off with a standard vanilla or mocha frappuccino, depending on your tastes.” She offered helpfully, pointing to the mentioned items on the menu so Roman could look at the printed pictures of them more closely.
“Ooh, I do indeed like sweet things! Let’s go for the mocha thingy you said.” Roman chuckled as he forgot what it was called already. “Thank you for the help by the way.”
“Frappuccino, but most just call it a frappe or a frap.” She explained with a smile. “You’re welcome, and what size would you like?”
“Ah, probably a large if I’m to make it through the day. I’m exhausted; my soulmate pulled an all nighter.” Roman explained with a little laugh.
“Oh I know the feeling.” She chuckled. “That will be $2.34, would you like anything else?”
“That’s all, thank you. You’ve been a wonderful help.” Roman pulled his wallet out and gave her a five. “Keep the change as a tip, okay? I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and night ahead!” Roman smiled at her brightly. She grinned at him brightly and nodded, waving at him as he walked to the end of the counter where they put out completed orders.
It didn't take very long for his drink to be called, and an employee handed the drink directly to Roman. Thanking him, Roman grabbed a straw and took a test sip of his drink. He hummed, pleasantly surprised at the taste. It was sweet, but not overpoweringly so, and the drink was smooth and perfectly blended, and the soft scent of coffee mixed with the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle on the top just made the drink seem all the more better to him.
On a whim, Roman checked his hand again, delighted to see more writing. This time it was in dark blue ink, meaning their seldom seen soulmate was reaching out. Roman couldn’t be happier about it.
Purple, please try to get sleep tonight. Your immune system must be severely compromised from the lack of sleep you are already experiencing. Sky, please also eat some healthy foods; not just baked goods, okay?
Roman smiled. This was how Teach showed his love, despite them all having heard the same advice over and over again. It seemed as though he valued how much his soulmates practiced self care and healthy choices, which Roman found touching.
Yeah, I got it Teach. Sleep is important, I know. Thank you for the reminder though.
Oh, I suppose I could pick up stuff to make food other than baked goods. However, I wanna show Stormcloud my famous chocolate chip cookies now that we’ve met! And I’ll do the same for all of you when it’s our turn to meet!
Roman practically squealed in delight as he pulled out his red pen to reply to that. However, he ended up bumping right into someone, and spilled both of their coffee’s. Roman winced, embarrassed at his careless mistake, but also managed to pull the person out of the way in time so that nothing spilled on him personally. He still felt bad about the lost coffee and the huge mess he had created in the middle of the cafe.
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” Roman cried. “I should have been paying more attention, are you alright?” He asked, as the other male adjusted his glasses with a disgruntled expression. Roman’s eyes caught on a flash of dark blue, light blue, and purple ink on his hand before it was hidden again, but he couldn’t help but notice the dark blue pens in his shirt pocket. Roman wanted it to be true, but he swallowed down his excitement for now.
“I am alright. Unfortunate to lose my coffee before I can assume any of its benefits, but no matter. Are you alright? I admit it was also partially my fault.” He frowned slightly, as if he didn’t quite like how that had been presented, but was almost too tired to care. Roman noted that he didn’t have dark circles under his own eyes, so the extreme exhaustion he was displaying was a result of the soul bond, not his own sleep schedule. That only gave Roman more hope, and he couldn’t help but smile at the man in front of him, who he was sure was his soulmate.
“Oh yes, I’m okay. And, please, no, that was my fault. I was too busy conversing with my soulmates.” Roman smirked as he held his hand up and out towards the other male, making it as easy to see as possible, and prompting him to look at his hand closely. “I’ll assume you were possibly doing the same?” He asked as he saw the other’s expression go from neutral to surprised, and he smiled softly, an expression that had Roman’s heart doing flips in his chest.
“Well it seems you are correct. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Logan. You may have already guessed but I’m dark blue.” He gestured at the pens in his pocket with a smile, and Roman easily returned it.
“I’m Red, or Princey, or whatever other nickname I’ve been given by now,” Roman chuckled softly, and held his hand out towards Logan for a handshake. “My name is Roman, though. It’s a pleasure to meet you too, my dear soulmate.” Roman smiled at him even wider when Logan shook his hand.
“Here,” Logan commented as he took out his pen and started writing on a napkin, handing it to Roman once he had finished. “It’s my number. So we don’t lose contact when we leave.” He smiled at Roman in an almost shy manner.
“Thank you, and that’s smart! For now though, why don’t you grab a table? I’ll clean up this mess and order us some new coffee so we can talk? That is, if you’re free of course.” Roman offered hopefully as he accepted the napkin with Logan’s number on it, putting it safely in his pocket. Logan bit his lip and seemed to think on that for a bit before slowly nodding.
“Yes, I can stay for a bit. I have a class at three, and it is only one thirty, so I can stay until about two? I know thirty minutes isn’t long, I apologize.” Logan explained slowly. Roman only smiled at him brightly.
“No need to apologize! This was honestly a very sudden meeting, so of course you may have other plans! Or well, a class, but same difference. We can plan something better for next time now that we’ll be in contact over text?” Roman offered as he started off to grab a stack of napkins, and also requested a mop or something from an employee.
“Yes, for sure.” Logan smiled at him gently. “I shall look forward to getting to know you better, Roman.” He stated, then waved as he went off to find a table for the two of them. Roman quickly got to trying to soak up the spilt coffee on the floor with the napkins, and was very grateful when someone brought out a mop for him, making the process go much faster. Once he had cleaned up the mess he accidentally made he went back up to the order counter.
“That was quite the situation.” The barista snickered at him good-naturedly. Roman couldn’t help but chuckle back as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. He had made quite the spectacle of himself, admittedly.
“Yeah, not the most elegant or graceful way to meet a soulmate, I admit, but at least I met him.” Roman smiled softly. “I couldn’t be more excited about it, quite honestly. I can’t wait to learn more about him.” Roman said in an almost dreamy tone of voice, allowing his inner hopeless romantic to shine through. He had been waiting for the day he would meet one or all of his soulmates for years, and finally it was here and Roman already thought Logan perfect.
“I’m so happy for you! You should thank the friend that told you to come here. After all, had you not, this never would have happened.” She commented with a gentle smile. “Anyways, I’m assuming you’re trying to replace the drinks? So another mocha frap for you and an iced coffee for him?” She questioned, getting back to business. Roman grinned at her.
“Yep! And yes, I will be sure to thank my friend, for sure.” Roman smiled brightly.
“3.84 is your total, will that be all?” She questioned politely as she finished tapping in the order on her computer. Roman nodded, and handed her another five.
“I know I already said it, but I hope you have a wonderful day and night!” Roman called as he headed down to the pick-up counter. He only had to wait for a few minutes again before being handed both of his drinks, straws already in them. He thanked the employee who handed him the drinks, and quickly made his way over to Logan with an excited grin plastered onto his face.
Sitting down and sliding Logan his drink, Roman couldn’t help the grin that crept back up onto his face, and continued to grow. He couldn’t help it; he was just so happy. Logan tilted his head at Roman inquisitively and Roman practically melted off the chair at the gesture. He was ecstatic that Logan was his soulmate, and that he had finally met him.
“I’m so happy we finally got to meet. I’ve been wanting to meet any of my soulmates for so long and now you’re here, actually in front of me and it’s amazing and kind of surreal.” Roman sighed happily. “I just couldn’t be happier about this right now.” Roman finally said in response to Logan’s earlier questioning glance.
“Oh, well, yes.” Logan smiled and adjusted his glasses. “I, too, have been wanting to see who my soulmates are for quite a while. Though, I am worried about Sky Blue and Purple’s unhealthy habits.” Logan commented with a small frown, and tapped his coffee pointedly.
“Oh, yeah, I feel that one.” Roman raised his coffee towards Logan slightly. “Especially as college students. The lack of sleep of just working on my own projects is bad enough, but then purple never sleeps and it’s a nightmare getting through the day. I mean, I don’t blame him and I’m not upset, just concerned and very tired. Though, I can’t imagine what actually having insomnia must feel like.” Roman shrugged and took a long sip off his drink as Logan considered his words carefully.
“That’s fair. I just hope that when we meet him, perhaps we can help a little? One can hope, at least.” Logan sighed tiredly, and also took a long sip off his coffee. “I agree with you though. Especially about being a college student. Classes are much harder to perform well in when I feel I’m about to pass out from exhaustion half the time, despite keeping a fairly good sleep schedule myself.”
“You said it.” Roman chuckled. “And yes, I do hope that when we meet them, we’ll be able to help in some way. Even if it’s a small way.” Roman sighed softly and frowned in thought, staring down at his hand but without really looking. How long would he have to wait before they were all together? Of course, he was beyond excited he had met Logan, but he wanted to have all of his loves in one space and give them all as much affection as he possibly could.
“Oh, look at the time!” Logan exclaimed, checking his phone. “It’s already 2:05, I have to go. Uh, text me later, okay?” He asked hurriedly, and hardly waited for Roman’s quick, enthusiastic nod before he was rushing out the door. Roman shook his head with a small smile.
He didn’t get to talk with Logan long, but Roman knew he was already completely in love.
He couldn’t wait to fall in love with his other soulmates too.
#ts#ts roman#ts virgil#ts logan#ts patton#lamp/calm#polysanders#soulmate AU#soulmates#ink on skin#you feel what your soulmate feels#fluff#like so much fluff#fic#chapter 1#YW&F
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Soulbound Part Five
First | Previous | Part 5 | Next
Ao3 link
Masterpost
Word count: 4,674
Pairings: platonic LAMP, Prinxiety, Logicality, background Remile
Warnings: Uncensored swearing, Implied self harm (skip starting from "so instead of trying to make it okay" to the break), fighting, talk of controlling parents, panicking, near panic attacks, crying, absent siblings, please tell me if i missed anything or if there's something you would like tagged!!
Summary:
Roman Prince and Logan Rose are soulmates. They’re platonic soulmates though. They both have the same Soul mark to prove it. But they both have one other soul mark, binding them to one other person. And when they find Patton Miles, it just so happens that they’re both his soulmate. Logan being his Soulbound Soulmate, and Roman being a platonic soulmate. But something feels missing. And it feels filled, shockingly so, when they meet a certain someone a year and a half after they found each other.
Chapter 5
The next day at school was a trip for Roman Prince.
The morning was as usual, and Roman had actually gotten sleep this time. And it was normal (save for his thoughts being preoccupied 65% of the time by a certain boy.) Until his third period with Virgil.
~~•~~
Oooh!! He's cute! Roman thought walking into class before promptly scolding himself. No no! He has a soulmate! I'm sure of it! He doesn't want to be your friend. Roman warred with himself in his head. But he's still cute. You know you want to be friends with him. And even if he has a soulmate, that doesn't stop you from being his friend!
Roman strut up to Virgil, who was curled up in a ball with his feet on the table, his hood up and his bangs obscuring his face and eyes. "Hello there J.D-lightful! How is my-"
Virgil turned away from him. "Not in the mood, Princey." His voice was rough. Rougher than it had been the day before.
Roman took another look at Virgil. And he really looked at him. His makeup was smeared and looked like it hadn't been washed off since the previous day, what he could see of his hair looked tangled and a mess. From underneath his messed up eyeshadow his pretty blue eyes looked dreary and tired and even a little red around the edges if you looked hard enough. The jacket and pants he was wearing were the same as yesterday and looked wrinkled as if he'd slept that way.
Virgil looked like a mess.
Roman sat down and felt an unreal amount of concern for the boy he'd met just a day ago. "Hey, are you doing alright? You don't look too hot there…"
Virgil shook his head. "No…" He choked out. "But what's it to you anyway?"
"Well, can't I be concerned for someone who looked like they got dragged out behind a car in the rain?" Roman chuckled slightly, trying to lighten the mood. He hated when people around him were hurting. He wanted to help. If he could, he would want to be the prince charming that saved everyone.
Virgil chuckled lightly and Roman hid his smile. "Do I really look that bad?"
Roman shrugged his shoulders, smiling. "Creative freedom! I wouldn't say I'm above the occasional embellishment! But yes you look like shit, Virgil Sanders."
Virgil laughed. He actually laughed! It was light and soft and no more than a chuckle, but it was bright with joy and it danced in Roman's ears.
Roman was so distracted with the soft music of Virgil's laugh he missed his chance to say something before the joy faded from the pretty pale boy's face. "Sorry. It doesn't matter anyway." He huffed despondently.
Roman perked up as an idea flooded his mind. "Hey why don't I help you fix your makeup and hair at lunch, yeah?" He asked sweetly and enthusiastically.
Virgil's faced Roman and he saw that his face was flushed, and he was suddenly very concerned if he was running a fever as well and had to fight the urge to reach out and feel his forehead.
What kind of train of thought was that?? Roman thought to himself.
Virgil looked down and started playing with the edges of his sleeves. "I don't think that's a good idea, Princey."
Roman smiled at the nickname. It was one he'd never heard before. He'd been called numerous names, many spread by rumors. Bastard. Prep. Player. Gay whore. Soulless. Homo bastard. Gay bitch. Slut. He'd always taken the names in stride when the moment came, but he knew what power names held. He knew how deep words could cut someone.
He took a breath and responded. "Why not?"
~~•~~
Virgil stopped. It was such a simple question. Why did it make his heart pound?
Why not.
That was a good question. Why didn't Virgil think it was a good idea?
Because people will talk.
Let them talk then.
Because Roman has a Soulmate.
But he can still be your friend.
Because people will bully both of you.
But then I'd have someone to stand with me.
Because Roman is just pitying you.
There it was. The reason it wasn't a good idea. Because it was borne out of pity.
"Because I'm pitiful and I'm not so sure I'm the kind of person you want to hang out with." Virgil said with a fake laugh. Roman made a face when he laughed. It was a face that someone made when they smelled something rancid. As if listening to Virgil's fake laugh was like hearing what rotten fruit smelled like.
"Well that's for me to decide and for you to find out how wrong you are about that!!" Roman laughed with such a charming twinkle of determination in his eye Virgil couldn't help but want to be his friend right in that moment.
He huffed and hid his heated face in his sleeve. "Alright fine. I'll let you do my makeup during lunch, or whatever." He smiled but quickly turned it serious as he faced Roman. "But don't touch my hair. That's mine and I don't like people touching it."
Virgil waited for the inevitable, 'But You said I can do it so I'm allowed to touch it' or 'Awh, but it would make me just so happy if you'd let me do it! And you don't want me sad, do you?' But instead all that came was, "Of course! If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll be more than happy to leave it alone, fair-faced!"
What? That was new for Virgil. He was so used to his mother and other kids invading his space and ignoring him, he forgot that people could be better than that.
Virgil hunkered down in his chair and the two chatted every few moments, Virgil dodging questions and making Roman carry the entire conversation. When Roman stopped talking to him though, Virgil grew anxious. Not of anything in particular, no it was more that Roman calmed him down when he was talking, so when he wasn't it was back to anxiety and worries that held no meaningl.
The class ended and Roman asked what class he had next. Virgil told him distractedly and didn't connect the dots of why Roman would ask till he saw Roman waiting for him outside his classroom.
"How did you get here so-"
"Magic!" Roman interrupted. He held up a beat up hall pass.
Virgil marveled at it. "How did you get ahold of one of these?"
"Like I said, magic!"
"You're a clueless moron."
"I do suffer from Always Dumb and Hot Disorder, so I suppose you're right."
"Wait what??"
"Always Dumb and Hot Disorder! ADHD! I mean I am pretty hot."
"Snrk, yeah sure Princey. Keep dreaming."
"I'll have you know I'm made of 100% attractiveness and beauty!!"
"Oh yeah? Does it say that on the tag? Right along with the price of $10.99?"
"Oh how dare you put my price lower than the leftover makeup on your face!! I'm worth at least a whole 50 dollars! Per inch!!"
"Per inch of what? Stupid? You know I could actually believe that one."
"Well my Nightmare Oatmeal Raisin Cookie, I do believe I could make a fortune myself off the amount of snark you toss out of your mouth."
"Only for you, Princey!"
They arrived at the bathroom and Roman pulled out his own makeup supplies he kept on hand.
It was a lot more vast than Virgil would have thought. Foundation, powder, eyeshadow in the full rainbow of colors (including a deep purple that caught Virgil's eye), eyeliner, and even some sparkly shit Virgil didn't know the name of. (Virgil had always seen it in stores but had opted for just calling it sparkly shit rather than learning it's name.)
Roman handed him makeup wipes and instructed him to remove his mangled mess of makeup that was already on his pale face.
~~•~~
As Virgil took off the layers of product on his face, Roman could finally see just how tired he was.
The bags under his eyes looked very much like the eyeshadow he had been wearing previously and looking at his eyes a little closer, Roman could see they were bloodshot and all in all, it looked like the poor boy hadn't slept in days.
Roman felt awful for him. There was an odd pang in his chest when he saw the shorter boy like that. What in the world was it about Virgil Sanders that so soundly struck Roman's heart?
~~•~~
Virgil finished with his face and saw Roman ready with foundation and sponge.
"Alright, Charlie Frown, ready for your makeover?"
Virgil rolled his eyes and Roman stepped towards him.
In fact Roman came very close to Virgil.
In fact by the time Roman stopped moving, there was hardly four inches between them.
And very suddenly Virgil was not alright again.
Roman had almost completely drowned all of Virgil's fears and hurts and anxieties that had been clustering around him like a dark stormcloud the entire day.
Roman had made the fact that Virgil hadn't slept that night, instead opting to sit and sob violently while reading the five years his mother had hidden from him, okay. He had made him forget it. He had made it alright.
Roman had calmed the constant whirlwind of anxiety that was usually so loud that Virgil wanted to throw up to a low buzzing hum that Virgil had finally been able to ignore.
Roman had made him happy to be there.
Roman had made him laugh.
Roman had made him smile.
Roman had made him forget the marks.
Roman had made him forget his mistakes.
Roman had made him forget what and who Virgil was.
And now.
Virgil had everything crash back down.
Virgil backed away from Roman, pushing lightly against his chest. "W-wait I don't think we should do this anymore…"
Had Virgil not been so lost in the storm of his anxieties, he would have seen the way disappointment and worry flashed vibrantly across Roman's eyes.
Roman's smile dulled to a softly worried one. "Is everything okay?"
For some unknown reason those three words made everything worse for Virgil.
No!! No, nothing is okay!! Everything is wrong and bad and awful and I don't know what to do or where to go and there's no one I can talk to and I'm just so alone and scared and nothing will ever be okay!!!
Virgil wanted to scream and cry and fall over and he wished he could float around endlessly in the void of space and just silently sob and he wished he had something to distract from the bottomless pit of anxious trembling he had fallen into.
"I-I'm sorry- I just- I can't-!" Virgil stumbled around his words before he backed away and fled the bathroom. He ran upstairs and into a different bathroom where he locked himself in a stall and cried silently, letting the actions of yesterday wash over him once again.
Nothing could be done to make it okay.
Nothing would make anything okay.
So instead of trying to make it okay, Virgil could at least distract himself.
So he fished out a pencil from his backpack along with his sharpener.
~~•~~
Roman watched in pain and dismay as Virgil backed away from him and ran out the door.
Something was very wrong.
And it hurt that Roman couldn't help.
It hurt that he didn't know how to help.
Roman tried to brush everything off as he started putting away his materials.
There's something wrong that I'm missing here...Is he okay? Is he alright? Does he need my help? Does he want my help? I want to help him...why do I want to help him so badly?
As Roman was exiting the bathroom, his wrist exploded into a stinging pain. He nearly dropped his backpack as he grabbed his wrist.
He pulled back the sleeve of his jacket and found nothing there. Once again it had been nothing but phantom pain. They had been getting more frequent in the past few months.
The bell rang and Roman walked to his 5th period class where he would spend the time with Patton talking about Virgil.
"-and then he just...left." Roman said, finishing his account of his interaction.
Patton nodded his head slowly. "Mm, mm, Logan was right wow. I can't believe it, if I'm being honest, but Logan totally called it."
"Called what?" Roman asked hesitantly.
"You are absolutely head over heels for this boy."
Roman stared blankly at Patton. A red blush exploded onto his face and he waved his hands. "WHAT?!" He shook his head violently and laughed. "No no no, you got this all wrong, Padre! I am not head over heels for Virgil!"
"Virgil?" Patton suddenly looked curious. "As in Virgil Sanders??"
Roman looked at his friend, the heat from his face fading. "Yes? Who else??"
Patton brightened up. "I have him my 2nd period!! You never mentioned his name before and now that you have well it's OBVIOUS who you're talking about!!"
Roman couldn't help but feel happy. "Really? You know him?"
Patton laughed. "No! We just have the same class together! That's all!"
Roman deflated a little and the class carried onward.
And for the first time ever, Roman was anxious about his theater class arriving.
When it did eventually arrive, it was so much more dramatic than even the title "drama class" could capture.
Roman walked into class, dreading to face Virgil.
But instead of seeing the emo sulking or completely avoiding him, Roman walked onto the stage and was met face to face with Virgil Sanders.
Literally.
Roman had nearly ran into the pretty faced emo who was just a few steps away from the door.
"Hey," Roman started, his hopes of becoming the emo's friend having died to nothing but a sickly burning coal. "Look, I don't know exactly what I did, but I'm really sorry all the same. And you don't have to try and be my friend or anything if you don't want to. I'm really sorry for-"
Virgil started laughing. It was a louder laugh. It was just as beautiful and sweet as his softly golden chuckle, but this one sounded bright and silvery, it had a bite to it, the way that the cold bites longingly into your skin during wintertime. His laugh was wonderful and sweet and it sounded the way peppermint tasted.
Roman caught himself up in his laugh before he snapped himself back to reality and found Virgil shaking off the last bit of his laugh and saw the emo smiling sweetly at Roman, his deep blue eyes sparkling with joy and…something harsher.
"Why are you laughing?" Roman finally found himself asking.
Virgil straightened himself and responded. "I just thought it was funny," He ran a hand through his hair, brushing his bangs out of his face before the fell over his eyes again. "I was coming to apologize to you for running off so suddenly." Virgil shuffled his feet and played with the edges of his sleeves. His laughing tone turned serious as he avoided Roman's eyes. "I'm really sorry for that. I had a lot on my mind and I freaked out. And if you don't want to be friends, I understand...But I…" Virgil met Roman's eyes before looking back down at the ground. "I wouldn't mind if we hung out a bit."
Though Roman couldn't see his face, he could practically hear the shy smile that Virgil undoubtedly wore.
Mr. Sanders walked onto the stage and nearly ran over the two boys who were standing so close to the door.
"Gah!! Oh! So sorry there, boys!" Mr. Sanders caught Virgil's eye and quicker than needed, he left to center stage.
Roman, just barely, caught Virgil's pained and distressed expression before the emo threw his hood up over his head, obscuring his face.
"Alright class! Let's circle up!" Mr. Sanders called brightly.
Virgil walked over, his hood up and his hands stuffed into his pockets. He stalked over to the edge of the circle, as far away from the young theater teacher as possible. Roman followed, only to have an oblivious and lonely Rose shove herself between Roman and his very near new friend.
"Hey Ro, guess what?" Rose whispered.
Roman rolled his eyes. "What?"
"There's, like, a really cute girl over there!!" She pointed to a tall blonde girl with a shy face and dark bracelets. Another emo, this one a little more subtle than the boy a few feet away from him. "Please be my super cool wingman!" She begged jumping up and down.
Roman heard Virgil snort from behind Rose. "I-"
"Alright, class! Today we're going to continue with group juggling, but with a twist!" Mr. Sanders brought out a bag and took an orange tennis ball out. "It'll be just like last time, except we're going to have an order this time." He looked in the direction of Roman, but not at him. "Virgil!" He called to the boy with his hair in his face and tossed the orange ball to him.
Virgil had not been ready for that. "What?" Virgil asked and only just barely saw the ball coming toward him. The panic was clear on his face as he struggled to catch the ball, eventually having it drop to the floor.
"What the hell, Thomas!!" Virgil shouted. Roman watched as he saw something boil inside Virgil. "First, you show up in my life out of the blue-"
"Virgil, now might not be the time to-"
"Fuck the 'Right time,' Thomas!” Virgil yelled. There was something raw and hurt in his voice that went so much deeper than being unready to catch a ball. “I can't deal with this much longer!!"
Roman looked between the two and Mr. Sanders caught his eye. "Roman can you-?"
"Stop it! Stop trying to avoid the reality of things! You can’t just brush it off because it’s uncomfortable or you don’t fucking like it!” Virgil ran a distressed hand through his hair. It had seemed like he’d forgotten everyone was there.
Mr. Sanders’ eyes darted between his students and Virgil. His eyes landed again on Roman and the tall boy caught his pleading gaze.
Take the kids back to the classroom, so I can talk to Virgil? Mr. Sanders’ look was clear enough. At the very least, Roman knew to get the others out of the theater.
“Listen, Virgil! I do want to talk about this! We need to talk about this!” Mr. Sanders said, Turning his full attention to Virgil as Roman started whispering to the kids, herding them off the stage.
“Then why aren’t yo-”
Virgil’s pained shouting was muffled almost entirely by the big metal doors the led off of stage left. Roman was almost glad that he couldn’t hear them anymore. Something about the way Virgil was yelling made Roman’s chest twist into a knot and his stomach churn.
Roman turned around and leaned against the heavy doors, letting a small breath out. He could still hear muffled shouts coming from the stage, though he couldn’t make out any words.
“Holy shit…” One girl said with a small laugh of disbelief. “Emo’s got some sort of real shit with teach, huh?”
“Hey!” Rman caught himself shouting, a little louder than intended. He calmed his voice and started again, softer. “I don’t know what’s up between Sanders and Virgil, but whatever it is it should blow over soon!” Roman kept his voice happy and light, but against the door he could hear something being thrown. Maybe a chair by the sound of it. Roman took another small breath. “Let’s just all head over to the classroom. I know some theater games we can play while we wait for Mr. Sanders and Virgil to get back.”
As they all walked over to the small black-box theater that they used as a theater classroom, Roman hung back a little, sparing one last glance at the doors to the stage before heading over with the rest of the class.
What the hell kind of second day of school is this??
~~•~~
Virgil had been dreading his theater class all day.
Roman had somehow, miraculously, stopped Virgil’s ever racing heart for a few minutes.
And it wasn’t his fault.
Thomas’s, I mean.
He had just been trying to get through the day and had subconsciously picked Virgil.
It was, however, Virgil’s fault that he had exploded. Maybe it wasn’t 100% his fault, as anxiety, nerves, and the pent up emotions of an anxious and nervous person do play a role in the doom of all things socially acceptable, but it was still his fault at the end of the day.
And so here they were.
Screaming.
Or at least Virgil was cause goddammit he couldn’t take it anymore.
All the hurt, all the betrayal, everything he had ever wanted that had been stolen from him, everything he had stuffed into little jars in his mind, all of it exploded.
Right then.
Right there.
And by god did it hurt.
It hurt so badly.
It stung in his chest and burned in his throat and pricked at his eyes and pounded in his head and clawed at his lungs.
And it hadn’t been right for Virgil to blame Thomas.
But he had.
“Then why aren’t you talking about it?!” Virgil screamed.
"Because in the middle of my class is not the right time or place, Virgil!! Take into consideration the other kids!!" Thomas raised his voice for the first time.
Virgil was upset. More than he thought he'd be. He turned to a chair and kicked it hard, sending it bouncing a few feet away.
Thomas's tone calmed again, but it was still shaky with emotion. "Virgil you need to calm down, okay-?"
"No, dammit!!" Virgil shouted, tears pricking his eyes causing him to panic even more. "I'm sick and tired of people telling me to calm down because they don't want to deal with me!!" He ran a hand through his hair, his breath was shallow and hard. He caught Thomas's eyes and read pain, panic, and above them, regret. It hurt. If Thomas was like Virgil had thought he'd be, if Thomas had been cruel and spiteful, if he hated Virgil, it would have been easy.
But Thomas cared.
And that hurt so much more.
"Why didn't you-" why didn't you come and find me? "Why wasn't I-" why wasn't I good enough for mom to let me read those letters? "Why couldn't I-" why couldn't I have lived with my brother in my life?!
Virgil could no longer stand as his legs gave out beneath him. The weight of everything in his mind had seemed to crush him.
It was awful.
It was bitter.
It made him nauseous.
Virgil sat crumpled on the ground and as his emotions raged inside him, he started to cry.
Virgil felt a hand on his shoulder and didn’t need to spare the glance at Thomas to know who it was. All he had to do was lean into him and let his older brother wrap his arms around him in a soft, comforting hug that smelled faintly of butterscotch and cinnamon. Virgil buried his face in Thomas’s shoulder and fought sobs.
This is what he missed out on.
This is what he never had.
This is what he wanted.
An older brother who cared about him.
And Thomas? He had only really known him for two days, barely. And yet he cared more for Virgil than anything Virgil had felt before then.
He felt for the first time ever that he belonged.
Thomas and Virgil sat there on the stage floor for a while longer, Thomas holding his younger brother in his arms and stroking his hair, Virgil sitting in his older brother’s arms and crying softly, slowly calming himself down.
When Virgil finally calmed down enough, Thomas unwrapped himself from around Virgil. “Alright. Feel better?” Virgil nodded and Thomas continued. “Now then. We have some things to talk about, I think.”
Vigil nodded again and the two stood up, walking to the edge of the stage apron and sitting down, letting their feet dangle over the edge.
“So,” Thomas started, looking out over the empty audience. “Are you okay, first of all, and second, do you want to talk about mom? Or would you rather talk about me and the letters first?”
Virgil took a shaky breath. “I’m alright. And I think I’d rather talk about...Mom...First…” Virgil was reluctant to admit there was anything at all wrong with his home life, but deep, way deep in the cold dark basements of his mind, the place where all the painful truths hide themselves, he knew that there was.
Thomas broke the silence. “Does she hide stuff from you often?”
Virgil nodded. “She removed the lock on my door when I was eight, too. I have this wooden doorstop that I created as a makeshift lock, but I can’t lock my door when I’m away at school.” Virgil looked at his brother. “Did she do stuff like that to you?” He asked tentatively.
“Yeah.” Thomas said, lowering himself down onto his back and string up at the electrics that were hidden by the proscenium. “She’d read my journals and all the old angsty poems I wrote. She would drink and smoke all the time too.”
“Virgil nodded sadly, lowering himself down next to his brother. “I mean she’s not all that bad. She cares about me, and feeds me, and makes sure there’s a roof over our head…”
“Despite that, that doesn’t necessarily make her a good person. She still doesn’t have any right to do what she did to you. If you hadn’t been her kid, she could be arrested for mail theft.” Thomas looked at his brother with a kind of protectiveness that only family harbors for one another. “The question I really need to ask you, Virgil, is this; Do you feel safe and happy at home?”
Virgil opened his mouth to answer yes, but found he couldn’t do it. His mother would drink most nights and smoke often. She’d come home with someone new as her date every two weeks. She would make him do most things downstairs where she could see him and if he wasn’t within direct eyeshot, would be checking in on him every ten minutes it seemed. He didn’t feel in danger, but he didn’t feel safe. And he didn’t feel unhappy, but he didn’t have very many happy memories of the house with the strange yellow door either.
Virgil shook his head. “No…” He choked out.
Thomas sat up. “I have a proposition for you, then.” Virgil sat up too. “For the time being, until you graduate, you’re free to come by and visit me, or spend the night whenever you’d like. Unannounced or otherwise.”
Virgil found himself lighting up at the prospect of being able to live with or at least visit his brother on a regular basis. He felt his face darken with doubt soon after though. “Really? For real? You’re not playing me here?”
Thomas looked at Virgil with a serious expression. “Virgil, I want you to be safe and happy, and I’ve wanted to be in your life from the very first moment I knew you existed. When I say you can come over whenever you’d like, I mean it.” Thomas pulled Virgil into a quick tight hug before continuing. “I want whatever’s best for you, and only you know that. I just want to make sure you have somewhere you can go to feel safe and happy.”
Virgil nodded. “I think…” He started, his mind whirling with possibilities and opportunities. “I think I’d like to come over and talk about the letters later today, Thomas.”
Thomas smiled. “I think that’s a splendid idea, Virgil.”
Author’s note: Hey, Hi so uh...If any of you remember I said like half a week ago this would be out in a few days...So...Sorry about that. The chapter ended up being a tad bit longer than I thought it was going to be and I lost a lot of motivation for a day or two in there. I’m glad it’s at least on time though, and not late. Ideally it would have been early, like I’d said it would be, but what can ya do? Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy this extra long chapter! Thanks again for reading it all!! love ya!
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@slitherynchiken
@crooked-harmony-student
@icequeenoriginal
@just-a-hufflepuff
#ts sides#Logicality#Prinxiety#logan sanders#patton sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#ts patton#ts roman#ts logan#ts virgil#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#ts sides fic#soulmate au#highschool au#thomas sanders#Soulbound Au
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