#sorry I’m bitter about Anna today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rainingpouringetc · 4 years ago

Note

✨a ficlet for Alastair and Ariadne please? Happy 200 followers!!!

hiiii tysm :))) i love writing for these two, we’ve been cheated of their relationship smh fix this judith pls i beg you let them be friendssss

anyway i hope you like <3 this is longer than i expected lol

Ariadne had always sought out higher ground when she was upset, ever since she was a child. She had never been sure why--maybe it had something to do with the way the air was clearer or being able to see out across an entire city. Or, she thought as she perched on the edge of the roof of an abandoned building, maybe it was just about getting away from people. It was isolated up here. She could feel like she was the only person in the world, and it didn’t make her feel lonely. It just made her feel free.

Footsteps sounded behind her, and for a moment she tensed, ready to tell whoever it was--probably one of the Merry Thieves or someone of similar insufferability--to shove off and leave her alone. Before she could, a familiar voice drawled lazily, “And what brings you here on this obscure, dreary London day?”

She turned to face the approaching figure. Alastair Carstairs. He wasn’t in gear, unlike her, and was instead clad in a fashionable ensemble of dove gray, his pitch black hair uncharacteristically unkempt and his dark eyes dancing with something like vexation, or perhaps exhaustion. Sometimes it was hard to tell with him.

He settled onto the roof next to her, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands as he regarded her expectantly. With a sigh, Ariadne turned her gaze back to the horizon of buildings she’d been memorizing. “I talked to Anna yesterday.” She saw Alastair’s eyebrows twitch up and knew he was biting his tongue to keep his quips to himself. “She still hasn’t changed her mind about me. About love. I just... needed to be away from it all.” Alastair looked like he was going to say something thoughtful that she wouldn’t want to hear, so rather than give him the chance, she turned and demanded, “What brings you here, anyway? You don’t have patrol tonight.”

“Neither do you,” he retorted with a pointed look.

He was right. Ariadne had slipped into her gear tonight for no reason other than having wanted to. She’d wanted to feel the fabric against her skin as she ran through the streets and scaled the building to its roof. Gear was so much better for recklessness and impulsive decisions than dresses were, anyway.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” It was Ariadne’s turned to raise an eyebrow until her friend frowned and looked away. Alastair pushed himself forward until his shoulders were almost hunched and looked down at his hands. They were flecked with gravel from the roof’s surface, evidence of how heavily he’d been leaning on them to hold himself up. Ariadne didn’t often worry about her friend, but tonight she did.

Alastair’s sigh held a mixture of frustration and weariness. She knew this because she’d heard it many times before, often before he recounted a story from his less than ideal childhood or time at the Academy. Or-- “I had an encounter with my father.” That. “It wasn’t particularly bad, even, it’s just... I thought with Cordelia knowing about his... condition, now, that he’d truly change.” He shook his head and laughed mirthlessly. “How naive I was.”

“You weren’t naive,” she whispered, not sure if she was talking about him. “You were hopeful. And you had a right to be.”

“Lot of good it did me.” Ariadne nearly flinched at the bitterness in his voice. Today was a bad day, it seemed, for both of them.

But why should it have to stay that way?

Ariadne shook her head as though she could empty it of all her negative thoughts. She held up her hand as though raising an imaginary glass of champagne. “Here’s to surviving,” she told him, trying to catch his eye. His gaze was suspicious, but after a moment he chuckled and raised his own hand.

“Here’s to friends.”

They clinked their imaginary glasses and turned to look out at the horizon. A comfortable silence stretched between it, and Ariadne felt she could dive into it and never have to resurface for air. It was nice, the way she and Alastair could sometimes just sit with no expectations or pressure of unwanted conversation. They let it come naturally rather than awkwardly fumble for topics of interest.

It was inevitable that they’d have to speak again, though. This time, Alastair was the one to clear his throat first and say, “I’ve never been to this part of London before.”

It was a quiet, reflective comment, and Ariadne wasn’t quite sure if he’d said it to her or simply spoken a realization aloud. He did that occasionally.

“I hadn’t either,” Ariadne admitted after a pause. “But I felt like exploring today.” She frowned and looked at him fully. “How did you find me, anyway?”

“I wasn’t looking for you,” he said with a cheeky smile. “I was exploring myself when I looked up and saw you. Good thing that I was, too, or who knows how long you’d be pining away up here.”

Ariadne faked a dramatic gasp. “I’m not pining! I’m just...” She couldn’t think of a good comeback, but it didn’t matter. Alastair was laughing at the expression on her face, a joyous laugh that was far too rare for its beauty. It was contagious, and moments later they were both dissolved in fits of giggles over everything and nothing all at once.

It was a perfect way to end a bad day, Ariadne thought when Alastair stood and offered a hand to help her up. They took the stairs to get down--stairs Ariadne had pointedly ignored when she’d spotted the building, opting instead to climb the bricks as an extra sort of challenge--and walked side by side down the street, trading happier stories and jokes and memories.

Ending the day with a friend guaranteed that it had not been all that bad.

tagging some mutuals i think might enjoy (ever so sorry if u don’t wanna be tagged): @doitforthecarstairs @littlx-songbxrd @imherongraystairstrash @carstairstessa @knifescythe @stxr-thxif @lifewouldbebetteronmars <333

#i didn't edit or revise or anything bc i'm tired so what u see is what u get #i am Tired but i love writing for these two #200 followers #artie tries to write #tlh #the last hours #ariadne bridgestock #alastair carstairs #tlh fanfic

81 notes · View notes

mearcatsreturns · 3 years ago

Note

15 for Abby/Luka

For reasons ;)

Under a cut because it's long.

July 2003

To: Luka Kovac <“[email protected]”>

From: Abby Lockhart <“[email protected]”>

Subject: I’m drowning and praying ghosts are real

Dear Luka,

Something about knowing that I’ll never talk to you again is just unbearable. I’ll never laugh at your malapropisms, look into your beautiful eyes, feel your strong hands holding mine, or make love to you again. There won’t be any more jokes about jam and cheese on toast, or you teasing me for my weak but constant supply of coffee. I’ll never hear your amazing, deranged laughter after you prank someone again. No more of your hugs—which are somehow the best hugs in the world. Because you’re gone.

It’s been three days since we got the call telling us you died thousands of miles from home, whether that’s here in Chicago or in Croatia. I didn’t know your dad’s name, Luka. We needed to call him, and I didn’t know. How did I not know? And now I can’t. I mean, L’Alliance told us his name, but the fact that I’ll never learn pieces of your history, of the wonderful man you are, FROM you...how am I supposed to go on and live my life?

For years, I’ve thought medicine was my great thwarted love. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long, and I thought I was bitter about having to let go of that dream. Now I wonder. I let obstacles get in the way of pursuing medicine, and it’s made me...well, it’s part of why I was so unhappy. But that makes me think about how I also let obstacles get in the way of us. I was happy with you, you know, until I let fear and my mother and Carter get in the way. God, I wish I could do that over again. We could have had everything, and if I hadn’t gotten in my own way, I’d be happy. I think maybe I could have made you happy, too.

It’s funny. I knew things with Carter weren’t working, and he implied you were part of it. I said it wasn’t, but then five minutes later, I found out you were—are—dead. And I realized you were the reason, or one of the big ones. As soon as Chuny told me, I knew I loved you and had loved you for years. Yeah. Great timing, isn’t it? I keep thinking that maybe I could have kept you from going if I had known or if I had told you. I didn’t want you to go when I thought you were my very attractive friend and ex that I still was fond of. Knowing that I love you—how do I move past that? Knowing that I lost you, first to my stupidity and then to death?

I just...I miss you, and I don’t when I’ll stop, or how to. Susan caught me crying on my last shift, and I didn’t even know what to say. I feel like I’ve been crying or standing still, brittle and stuck in time, since I heard the news. I can’t, Luka. I know I have to keep on moving, and I thought maybe writing you would help. I know you’ll never see this, never have a chance to respond. But the idea that some fragments of your soul linger and can maybe sense...I don’t know. That I’m writing? What I’m feeling? Jesus, this is crazy.

All my love,

Abby

Abby angrily swipes the tears from her eyes. God, what’s the point of writing this? He’ll never see hsi email or her again. Just...without Luka, how can the world be anything but grim and sad and pointless?

She laughs mirthlessly. Maybe it doesn’t matter. No, she knows it doesn’t. Because Abby knows the futility of it, aches with the meaninglessness, she presses send without another thought.

&&&

Three days after that, a miracle occurs. Luka, the Lazarus of this new millennium, comes back from the dead. He’s never been dead, and maybe, Abby thinks, there’s a God above after all. So many people wish for this exact boon, and she—they, the world—gets it. Some higher power believes this planet is a better place with Luka Kovac in it, and Abby is ecstatic.

Until she remembers the email and that they can’t be unsent.

It’s fine. She’ll be fine. Luka is coming back, apparently with a French nurse. Maybe he’ll just delete it without reading it. Maybe it didn’t go through—how does email work for the dead, and how quickly is all that processed?

Abby shakes her head. It doesn’t matter; Luka is alive and returning to them. She can handle a little awkwardness in the face of the sheer joy of knowing the world is a brighter, kinder place. He’s coming back, and that’s what’s important.

&&&

August 2003

It takes Luka almost a week after returning to Chicago to convince Kerry and the other staff to let him go back to his apartment. Even so, they only agree when Gillian assures them she’ll see to his every need.

Abby winces when she hears that, and it makes something flutter in Luka’s chest. Which probably isn’t good for his malaria, but the hope...that is.

It’s another two days of lying in bed before he has the energy to ask Gillian to bring him his laptop. At this point, it’s been months since he’s checked his email, and Luka grimaces at the undoubtedly horrible state of his inbox. He briefly considers never checking again and just getting a new one, but he knows his father struggled to add him to his contacts once already. To expect it of him again would be absurd.

With a sigh, Luka opens his email. It’s just as bad as he feared. He snorts at the myriad messages about Viagra, Nigerian princes, and Russian brides, deleting them without thought. He saves a couple from his dad. He slowly whittles down his inbox, but he freezes when he gets to one email in particular, sent about a month ago.

It’s from Abby, during the time everyone thought he was dead.

Luka considers calling and asking her if someone hacked her email or is sending spam from her account, but the subject line...it looks real. And Abby’s been odd around him lately, seeming both deliriously happy to see him and awkwardly nervous.

His heart pounds, and he clicks to open it. If this is a spammer, they’re probably about to get whatever they want.

&&&

Abby pours herself another coffee, internally swearing as she prepares for the last two hours of her shift. Deciding to go back to school is great; having to coordinate all the details is less thrilling and leaves her tired and cranky.

Frank ducks his head into the lounge, beady eyes narrowing on her. “Hey, Abby. The Croat is on the phone for you. Line 2. Try to get back out there as fast as you can, Weaver’s yelling at the med students about IVs.”

“Okay, Frank,” Abby says, though she flushes and her palms start to sweat. It’s fine. She can always hide the panic and butterflies in her stomach with sarcasm. It has yet to fail her.

Frank gives her one last suspicious look, then nods and heads back to Admit.

Abby takes a deep breath, then picks up the phone. “Hey, Luka?”

“It’s me. Glad I could reach you. How are you?” He sounds...ugh. So good. And eager and happy, and her heart could leap right out of her chest.

“Doing all right. I just have a couple hours left on this shift, and it hasn’t been too awful today. Only one MVA. How about you? You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Recovering. Listen, did you want to come over for dinner?”

“Please tell me you’re not trying to cook.”

“What? I’m a good cook, even if you don’t appreciate wonderful, traditional Croatian dishes,” he says with a chuckle.

“Luka, you just got out of the hospital five days ago. You still need to be resting.”

“Abby, don’t worry so much. I was just kidding. I have some sandwiches from Manny’s, and Anna sent me home with lots of matzo ball soup too.”

Abby bites her lip. Of course she wants to go. But the prospect of spending the evening with Gillian cooing over Luka, knowing that she shares a bed with him, is decidedly less appealing. And there’s the email she sent, which Luka hasn’t acknowledged. He might well have deleted it, or he’s giving her a gracious out.

Her conscience twinges as soon as she thinks about bailing, though. Didn’t she promise herself she wouldn’t take life for granted anymore? She’ll go back to med school, she’ll have dinner with Luka when he asks.

“Abby?”

She starts, realizing she needs to respond. “Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I can do that. I can be there an hour after my shift, if that’s okay.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too.” He has no idea how much, even if she wishes she knew for sure that he’d deleted the email.

&&&

Abby rings Luka’s doorbell three and a half hours later. She’d meant to come straight from work, but after a patient vomited on her, she decided to head home, shower, and splurge on a taxi to Luka’s. The poor man is recovering from being deathly ill and doesn’t need County’s fumes making things worse.

There’s the sound of the deadbolt sliding, and Luka answers the door, grinning happily at her. “Good, you made it! Come on in!”

“I did. Sorry it took me longer than expected.” Abby steps into his apartment, looking around. It’s been such a long time since she’s been here, and she notes the subtle changes in the art and decor.

“No worries. I know how it goes.” He places a hand at the small of her back, guiding her inside.

Abby stiffens for a second at how his touch burns even through the layers of her shirt and light jacket, but she relaxes, enjoying the feel while she waits for Gillian to appear and end the fleeting joy.

Luka is unfazed. “Now, of course we can just eat the sandwiches, but if you want to heat up the matzo ball soup, you can. Since you don’t want me standing,” he says with a wink.

Abby smiles back, shaking her head. “Oh, I see how it is. Make the woman who worked all day do more household work when she gets ho—wait, where’s Gillian? Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of you?”

“She’s not here,” he says simply.

Going to the fridge and taking out the containers of soup, Abby places them in the microwave. Is Gillian out for the evening, or is she gone gone? “Shouldn’t you be with her? Or her here with you, whatever.”

Luka is quiet for a long minute, and Abby wonders if he intends to answer. Finally, he breaks the silence. “I asked her to leave.”

Abby’s pulse speeds up. “What? Why?”

Luka takes a deep breath, clearly ready to respond, and—

The microwave dings, and they both jump. Exchanging a sheepish look, they laugh.

“Look, let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Abby dishes up their soup and sandwiches, preparing trays so they can sit on the couch. Luka turns on the television, and Abby’s heart rate comes back under control. They sit together in companionable silence while they eat and watch Thom and Jai and the rest of the Fab 5 whip some hapless lawyer’s life into order. When they finish their meal, Abby cleans up, taking the trays back to the kitchen.

She heads back to the couch at the opposite end from Luka, not daring to get closer when she really has no idea what’s going on.

Luka clears his throat and mutes the TV. “So, yeah. I asked Gillian to leave.”

“Oh. So, um, did you break up?”

“She was never my girlfriend, really. She has a boyfriend back in Montreal, they just…” Luka shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.

Abby is more lost than ever. “Ah.”

Taking a deep breath, Luka continues, finally looking over at her. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful she helped me get here and took care of me, but we were never serious.”

Something starts to tug at Abby’s heart, squeezing and twisting and kicking to get free. Is it...hope? “Well, I’m glad she got you here safe, but you should have someone staying with you while you recover, Luka. Malaria is dangerous.”

He gives her a look. “I know how dangerous malaria is. I’m getting better. And besides, it wouldn’t have been fair for me to ask her to stay when things are over because I’m in love with someone else.”

Her heart leaps into her throat. “Someone else?” she squeaks.

Luka nods, swallowing. “Yeah. And I have a reason to think she might be in love with me too.” He slides over to her side of the couch, reaching for her hand.

Abby meets his eyes—those beautiful green eyes that are the best color in the world—and squeezes his hand, incapable of words. Does he mean…?

With his other hand, Luka reaches up and cups her cheek, running his thumb along the subtle arch of her cheekbone. “Abby, if you’ve changed your mind since you sent that email, please tell me to shut up.”

That stupid, ridiculous email might be the best thing she’s ever done in her life. She leans into his hand, licking her lips as she shakes her head slightly. “I haven’t changed my mind. I didn’t mean for you to see it and hoped I could learn how to hack computers and delete it but—”

Luka cuts her off. “I would never forgive you if you managed to delete it. You wouldn’t believe how much faster I healed after that.”

Abby leans forward, sliding into Luka’s waiting arms. “Then maybe I’ll write you some more emails.”

“Emails aren’t what I want right now,” Luka says.

Funny, Abby doesn’t either. Then his lips brush hers, and all her worries and fears fade away. She knows she has to tell him about med school and he needs to finish recuperating, but when Luka deepens their kiss and pulls her closer, Abby ceases to think at all.

She has Luka back, and now they have each other again.

#er #nbc er #er ff #luby #luby ff #abby lockhart #luka kovac #<3 #my fanfic

28 notes · View notes

darkhymns-fic · 3 years ago

Text

Hopes of Summer

At what should be a happy family outing, Kratos worries about the inevitable when he catches sight of Anna's Exsphere.

The pain of losing someone should not have been new to him at all.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Kratos Aurion/Anna Irving, Lloyd Irving, Noishe Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: Fic for Day 1: Aurion Family Day/Free Day for @krannaweek! This got more angst then I meant it to but with fluff in the end to make up for it.

Kratos had only been eight when he started to learn swordsmanship from his father – true lessons instead of play, wooden blades held in his palms so that he could get used to the weight of eventual metal.

War had already long started. There was no time to rest, not for him. It was something that didn’t need to be said out loud to be understood.

Just the feel of his father’s hands correcting his own (Don’t hold it so tightly, you will break your wrist before long) and the curt nods of a soldier, teaching him to survive.

And in war, you must survive.

Yet even still, Kratos had fallen to his knees, arms shaking with his plain, wooden weapon. In a real battle, the quick lunge from his father’s sword would have ended him right there. Another bloodstain on the grass, another lost soul of the Tethe’allan country. Instead he saw the gleam of the sharp blade pointed at his throat – a split-second, nothing more – before it was pulled back.

“You must keep practicing,” his father told him, a voice that many years later, he could barely recall. He could not remember the man’s face, nor his mother’s. Four thousand years was too long for one to live, too long for one to remember anything of value. “Don’t make any more mistakes.”

Just the sensation of the ache in his palms, the fear that ran through him at the sight of the blade so close, the question in him that rose when he heard those words directed towards him.

You must, you must, you must. Since then, his life had been full of acts that he must do.

But it only made his regrets pile up until it became uncountable.

The calluses from his sword practice would always remind him of that.

When his father later died in battle, he had not wept at all. For that was not something he had ever been taught.

“…You’re not feeling well.” A stated fact more than a question.

Anna pushed aside Kratos’ hand with a sigh. “As I told you for the dozenth time, I’m fine. Don’t fret over me. I barely have room to breathe.”

It was rare for them to room at an inn, but the summer months in Sylvarant could be so unforgiving. No amount of shade was enough to weather the humidity, for his wife or his child. So it had to be an inn, in a small, isolated town, where at least the walls could shelter them from heat – if only briefly.

Yet still, Anna’s face was flushed, her forehead covered by sweat. She sat up, but not without effort.

Kratos held up his hands, as if to reach out to her again. “You should keep resting-”

“What did I just tell you?” She shot back, bit her lip as if just tasting something so bitter. “I’m sorry. But I said that I am alright. I’m just winded from the walk. Let’s enjoy the day, please?”

He didn’t want to keep saying it, despite her complaints. He didn’t want to comment on how much slower her steps seemed to be, on how much paler her skin was, on how often she seemed to lose her breath.

The symptoms were all too obvious by now.

(If he looked further, where her shirt covered it, would he see it? How the skin around her Exsphere was more wrinkled than before, how it must have been red and inflamed, how the pain must have centered there, as it always was…)

He had to stop himself, cutting the despair off, as sharply as cutting off an infected limb.

“Then let me get you some water first before we go out. Is that acceptable?”

She sighed again, but this time with a little smile. “I wonder if you will ever stop being so formal, but I suppose that’s just who you are…”

To the side of her was a small bundle, just underneath the bed covers. It moved and made a sound, a mixture of a snore and a little gurgle. The blanket curled in on itself around that same bundle, until it was all folds and snores.

Kratos looked to the little bundle with concern.

“He can…still breathe under there, yes?”

“You are such a worrier today.” But Anna humored him by carefully unwrapping the blanket, revealing first the soft brown spikes of his hair, and then the puffy curves of his cheeks, along with a clenched fist that was half being sucked on, knuckles disappearing into the boy’s mouth.

Still, Kratos worried a little…

“See? Lloyd is just fine. He’s probably having a nice dream right now!”

Small and vulnerable, stuck in sleep. Lloyd had been crying from the heat, but once inside, he still wanted to curl up in the bedcovers, to stay close to his mother. The inn room was simple, a single room with the window half-open, the curtains letting in the breeze that he wished had been about while they had been walking. The bed itself was small, but he had been fine giving it only to Anna and Lloyd. He didn’t need any sleep himself.

Yet, as Anna reached over to Lloyd, hands gently taking his drool-covered fist, pulling down the red shirt he loved to cover his stomach, a cough left her throat. Then another, and another, making her lean over, back arched like the gentle slope of the hills outside.

Kratos placed his hands on her, his calluses hidden by his gloves, yet could not hide the shaking of his fingers. “Anna!”

She breathed harshly at first, the sound enough to wake up Lloyd fully. Eyes blinked, the same shade as his hair. The child turned around, eyes curious as he watched his father cling to his mother. Could he see the fear that he was feeling right now? Could he even understand?

“Kratos, you’re scaring him.” Anna spoke so clearly, so strongly, that it belied the pained position she was in. She gathered Lloyd into her arms, and the child only continued to blink. He didn’t cry, and this was the same boy that would weep over Noishe not giving him a ride on his back.

“You said you would give me water?” she gently reminded.

Kratos felt the pain in his palms, but swallowed it down, taking a step back. “Forgive me. I will bring you some.”

“Thank you.” Anna raised her head, and she was smiling once more. Lloyd was clinging to her shirt, his hands curling into the fabric and pulling down from the neck.

From there, Kratos saw the hint of the Exsphere. He saw the redness around like a ring, the wrinkled skin, the hurt he knew she felt.

He turned to get the water for from the pitcher set on the side table. He hoped the feeling he felt in his throat wasn’t regret.

Lloyd was laughing wildly, holding out two wooden sticks in his hands as he rode on a whining Noishe, bouncing along in his seat within the green fur and shouting, “Go! Go!”

Kratos had never felt more of a nervous wreck as he watched his son nearly fall several times, always eventually righting himself up with a great show of flailing his small arms. So Kratos hovered near, following along the Arshis as it went in the direction Lloyd was yelling out gleefully, using one of his sticks to point the way.

It was early evening, the air finally cooling down, leaving a gentler summer breeze. Anna was seated in the grass, watching as Lloyd led his mount to wherever he wanted. They had left the inn for a small stroll outside, down by hastily-arranged wooden fences, by the dirt roads that led into the isolated town, where dragonflies flitted about to dance across a small lake that was nearby. Only a few eyes turned their way, most retreating to their homes, though unsure why tourists would ever come to such a place.

Kratos gave little thought to it – only to his son which he continued to fret over, and to Anna that he saw by the corner of his eyes. She was not as pale now, or coughing as much. Still, Kratos saw the occasional tremble.

“Are you sure you can catch up to them?” she called out with a grin. The waning sunlight fell over her hair, burnishing it. He could see the same effect on Lloyd’s hair when he turned to look.

“I am simply watching over him…” he protested, still hands held up, ready to catch his son at any moment.

“And you seem to be doing very well!”

Noishe unexpectedly did a little hop then, one that made Lloyd squeal and Kratos stiffen. One of the dragonflies had rushed across the grass stalks to then land on the animal’s nose. A whine as his paws danced over the ground, with a sneeze to get the dreaded bug off. Lloyd only laughed afterwards, even as he waved his arms to maintain his balance.

Kratos stiffened, resisting the urge to just take Lloyd away and to wrench those sticks from his hands. Anna had insisted he be allowed to play with them, but they had look so rough and crooked, and he could imagine the scratches already on his son’s palms.

“Noishe,” he simply said, his tone having only a hint of hardness. But somehow, Lloyd’s voice was even louder, drowning his out.

“Go!” He was shouting again, trying to slash away at the dragonfly that had so upset Noishe. He missed his swing by a wide margin, but seemed to enjoy the action regardless. “Go, Noishe!”

He saw the creature’s big ears perk up, saw the way he danced around on his paws. Was he listening to Lloyd?

“Goooo!” Lloyd shouted once more, pointing up ahead where a small hill undulated before them, where it led to thickets that dotted the ground, rustling in the breeze.

And somehow, just like that, Noishe had taken off, running so fast as Lloyd shouted into the wind itself. A blur of green and brown, seeming to fly right over the grass to reach the hills and disappear into those same thickets where the sun could not push through, where the leaves seemed to swallow them up immediately, out of sight.

Maybe it was just instinct, in the end.

Kratos had rushed over to them so quickly, he could barely notice his legs moving. Or maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he had slipped and used his wings, foolishly where others could see him, even in such a small, barely populated village. He broke through branches and leaves to catch up to a boy and his dog-like companion who continued to run.

He hadn’t meant to react so hastily, but he still held the image of Anna’s Exsphere in his mind, the meaning of it weighing on his shoulders. It made him feel slow, and weak, and somehow despite all that, he halted in front of Noishe’s path, making the creature stutter in his steps. Lloyd did another squeal, arms stretched out wide as he saw his father with them. He had already lost one of the sticks he had been waving about so proudly.

Kratos rounded on Noishe, voice has hard as flint. “Stop!” He clenched his fists, the tide of anger and fear in him impossible to overturn. “What would happen if he had fallen?! You’re supposed to keep him safe!”

The sound of his own voice, full of incredibly guilt, finally made him stop – but not before it was too late.

It had been enough to make the Arshis do more than halt. A quick backwards step of four paws, upturning the soil beneath. The giant ears that soon edged downwards in a soft arc, the rapid blinking of dark eyes. It was still a marvel that he hadn’t whined right away, even as he soon did so, the sound a little keening as fallen leaves were crushed beneath them.

Lloyd had also stopped, surprised by Noishe’s movements, by his father’s anger. The action made him drop his last branch to the ground…and then the familiar sheen of tears appeared in his eyes.

The sight was nothing new to him at all. But now, just now, he felt something prick his chest, seeing both Lloyd and Noishe shiver, knowing himself to be the reason for it. “Wait, Lloyd-” He walked up to them, all while Lloyd continued to cry harder, and Noishe’s whines matched with his.

His son wept so much. Kratos couldn’t remember the last time he had even shed a tear.

“Can you hold him?” a voice asked him.

There was Anna was to his right. He had no idea how he hadn’t heard her, when he could hear the careful steps of a starving wolf from miles ahead. But when he turned, she was there, her face pale, her hair a little haggard. She had run after them as well, and though she tried to hide it, he could hear her quickened breath.

“Kratos, please,” she said, gesturing as Lloyd continued to cry, his tears falling onto Noishe’s fur. “And put your wings away.”

So he had used them, only now noticing the glow of blue that cast over her, the motes of sapphire in the air. Hastily, he de-summoned them, feeling foolish.

But the tone in her voice was different than usual, something he couldn’t place. Was she angry at him? Disappointed? But he couldn’t deny her instructions, and so Kratos went to pick up Lloyd who continued to sniffle, but now right into his very shirt. (He could wash it later, he supposed).

Noishe had then gone to lay down in the grass, tail laying dejected, his fur making him blend in with the greenery all too well, almost hiding too well within the thicket they had blundered into. But still he saw the dark paws stand out, along with the pink of the Arshis’ tongue, half-lolling from his mouth from the heat that still lingered, and the exertion from before. He looked so ashamed that it made Kratos regret his earlier words.

It was something he found himself often doing.

He was surprised though to see Anna kneel besides Noishe, hands reaching out to scratch behind one of his giant ears. The whining continued, but it lowered considerably, along with a tail lightly thumping the ground.

Kratos still felt Lloyd crying into his shirt, completely unsure of what to say.

“You know,” she said, fingers finding the right spot for Noishe, his eyes closing, his great head leaning against her hand. “You are not as good at hiding your secrets as you think you are.”

A sentence that left him stunned, if only for a little while. Lloyd’s cries lessened, and by now he could feel his shirt becoming drenched with snot. He patted his son’s head and let his fingers tangle in his messy hair.

“You look at me like I will die at any moment now.”

The chill ran up his spine, immobilizing everything except his voice. “No, I’m- I’m not. I am only worried. The weather has not been good for your condition-”

“And what is my condition, Kratos?” Anna raised her head, and with the sunshine angling down, it was hard to see her expression, the way the light cast shadows from the trees, the way it made his eyes blink. “You still haven’t told me what this thing I carry will do to me. But I guess you don’t really need to. I’ve known for a long time what will happen. I’ve been at that ranch for longer than I would care to remember.”

A small hiccup from Lloyd against his chest. Kratos thumped a hand against his back, trying to soothe such them away. “Anna…”

She turned away, instead facing Noishe again, planting both hands into the creature’s fur to continue her petting. Noishe let her, knowing now this was more for herself than for him. He hair fell, revealing the chain of a pendant he had given to her long ago.

“I don’t want you to look at me like that. I…don’t want to be reminded of what will happen to me…” She freed one hand from the fur to wipe at her eyes. “Because I see how it eats at you, until you let it show. I only want…to enjoy what we have. I don’t want this…thing I have.. to hang over us until then.”

Another soft hiccup from Lloyd. He had his eyes half-shut, his crying making him sleepy. This was fairly normal for him.

Kratos took a breath, then sat down on the grass next to Anna, just a few feet away from Noishe. He took a moment to speak, finding everything in his much too long years giving him absolutely nothing.

But soon, he had to say something, even if it was weak and uninspired.

“It is no excuse… but I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.” He rubbed Lloyd’s back, watching how his son’s blinking was slowing, how the eyelids fell. “I just don’t want to…lose this.” And he realized then, the fear that held him. “I never want to lose this. But acting like this will only…make it seem like I already have. I’m sorry…”

She faced him, and he saw again her Exsphere, still looking pained. He knew how the stone would soon take everything away from her, and it was hard to not think on it. The future had suddenly felt so dark and ominous, with no clear roads to turn to.

But when she looked at him, he saw a curious change in her eyes. Something of bewilderment. Not the first time he had seen it from her, for he tended to do things that confused her, but he was not sure of what could cause it, at this moment.

“You’re crying,” she said. And with that, she stretched her hand to brush at his hair. “Huh. Now I know where Lloyd gets it from.”

Kratos blinked, and just then he felt it. The soft trek of a tear down his cheek. It confused him greatly. He reached out wipe it away, the sensation so unfamiliar that he wasn’t sure what to do with the feeling. “I’m…sorry, I didn’t-”

“Now why are you apologizing over that?” Anna shook her head, then leaned in. The action was quick, her lips over his, the kiss warm and heating up his face significantly. All the while, Lloyd continued to snore in his arms.

From the closeness, he saw her Exsphere up close. The pain there was still apparent, skin around it still inflamed, but the fear he felt was not as prominent anymore. Not with her kissing him to soothe it all away.

Anna was smiling when she leaned back, once again running a hand through his hair, playing with it. “You can be so silly sometimes.”

“Uh.” Kratos once again had no idea what to do with her words. He flushed, eyes turned back to Lloyd as he slept on. “T-Thank you…”

There was just the wind rustling the grass, the chirping of crickets as the sky above them darkened. Noishe had stopped whining, but he still looked a bit dejected, his great head on his paws. The Arshis’ own apology was plain on his face.

Kratos sighed, reaching to pet his devoted friend on the head. “I should be apologizing to you as well, Noishe… I’m sorry to have ruined our family day.”

Anna gently pushed him on the shoulder. “You haven’t ruined anything… but maybe you could learn to ease up. For all of our sakes?”

He smiled at her, still remembering her warmth that washed away the hurt in him. Even so, another tear fell down his cheek.

To think he could miss a feeling he was never sure of ever having.

It was already nighttime once they walked back to the inn. Kratos had walked carefully, careful not to bounce Lloyd too much with each step that he took. But the boy continued to sleep, making small noises as he drooled once again on his shirt.

“See?” Anna said, giggling. “He’s having another nice dream.”

The way she nudged him just then was subtle, but he saw it in her eyes. How she looked to Lloyd, and how she had let Kratos carry him all the way, Noishe trailing behind them happily, nose occasionally poking the back of Anna’s head.

“Here, you can hold him now,” he told her, and gently gave her their son to clasp.

“Certain I won’t get tired, are you?” she said, but he saw how eagerly she went to hold Lloyd. And it seemed that Lloyd seemed to like this new change, his tiny arms moving to wrap around her neck, to make more little noises that were hums and the like.

Again, with the motion and the weight of the child on her, the collar of her shirt shifted down. Once again Kratos saw the Exsphere, same as it was, but with a tinge of blue to its surface – alive in its very own, strange way, a parasite that continued to live in her.

The sadness was still there, fear of what was to come next. He had never wept for his father’s death, or his mother’s – or perhaps he just didn’t remember it. But if he would lose her…. then what next?

Quickly, before she could see the expression on his face, he bent down to kiss at the space just above her Exsphere. The heat of her skin, the hardness of the stone against his lips. Anna made a small squeak at the action.

“Kratos!” But there was laughter mixed in, one hand pressed against her mouth to keep it muffled. “Are you…trying to kiss it better now?”

Something about the words, the way she said it, and her bright voice altogether, once again washed away the despair to the very corners of his mind. “Then you must tell me if it is working.”

“Hm…I don’t know.” She tilted her head in thought. “Perhaps you’ll need to do it a bit more so I can be sure.”

Ah, again she could make him flush like a fool sometimes. But the smile she gave him was worth it.

With the stars above them, and Lloyd sleeping soundly, he felt he could still find a hope for the future somehow. That it was something the eventual pain could never drown out.

Maybe he could believe that.

#tales of symphonia #kratos aurion #krannaweek2021 #kranna #anna irving #lloyd irving #noishe #fanfiction #oneshot

11 notes · View notes

exauhstedsunflower · 4 years ago

Text

I Am Very Proud Of You

For @cynicalrainbows, a one shot featuring the idea that Catalina feels left out of mom!Jane’s pride in her so called kids.

This got long.

It’s been a while since the queens have reincarnated. They’ve long since passed most of their personal issues. They even settled in nicely to the current century. Anne and Kitty got jobs, working in a flower shop just down the road. Anna has picked up several volunteer shifts at a local animal shelter. Cathy is a tutor for adults at the neighborhood library. And Catalina works at a daycare, decidedly liking modern day kids over modern day adults. (They have all of the curiosity and none of the disbelief in her legitimacy as a former queen of England.)

And Jane, well, Jane is a stay at home mother. Kind of.

They live in the suburbs in a place where cost of living is pretty low, Kitty, Anne and Catalina make enough to cover their more indulgent purchases. Whereas the rest is covered by some anonymous donor, who they think is the reason they are even alive. There is no reason for Jane to have to get a job herself. Not to say she doesn’t have hobbies, she does occasionally visit the local art supplies stores, and sometimes she goes to the animal shelter with Anna. But she does actually prefer to stay home as an introvert.

As she does stay home most of the time, she takes up most of the household chores. She cleans, she cooks, she makes sure that there is order where there would normally be chaos. This also means that she’s taken on the more maternal place in the house. The others rely on her, whether they were reluctant to in the beginning or not.

Her biggest maternal habit is validating the other queens. She spent a lot of time in her last life being put down- they all had. The least she can do whilst being the glue that keeps their little family together is to make sure they all know they are doing great given the circumstances.

It’s a rather chaotic morning, she’s been running around like crazy. They all have, but her in particular trying to get everyone ready for the day.

“Jane!”

That’s Anne, upstairs and probably looking for her jacket, which is hanging on the end of the railing at the lower level.

“Down here love, come and get your jacket before you and Kitty are late!”

She speeds down, almost crashing into Anna, who’s rifling through her bag with a piece of toast in her mouth. When she asks what the woman is looking for, she seems to forget about the toast. Jane reaches out and catches it in a moment of astounding reflexes.

“Ah! Don’t get crumbs all over my carpet, please.”

“Sorry! Have you seen my-“

“Jane! I can’t find my-“

“Kitty! I found-“

“Cathy, you-!”

Jane snorts, leave it to those two to have half conversations and still understand each other.

“What is it, Anna?”

She snaps back to attention, having been distracted by the yelling upstairs. Impressive how those two have the capacity to be that loud given the way they haven’t slept in two days. Yes, Jane knows. And yes, Jane will be intervening if they try to make it a third.

“My wallet, I can’t find my wallet.”

“Have you checked the hoodie you wore yesterday?”

“Shi- Crap,” Anna quickly corrects herself in Jane’s presence, “I forgot about that, let me check.”

She races off to check the coat closet, which is where she’s stuck most of her hoodies in an attempt for space in her own closet.

It doesn’t take long for Jane to find something else to focus on. Anne is currently making an attempt to find her snack pack for the day. Now, this is something that unlike what you might think, is not Jane’s doing. She does not pack lunches and snacks for the women in the house, if they want that they can do so themselves. Jane places Anna’s toast on a paper towel and decides to help.

“Isn’t it in the lower cabinet? Could’ve sworn you all changed where you keep them.”

“Oh! We did!

She finds her bag, likely filled with sweets, and stuffs the sandwich she was making and a water bottle into it. Then she does the same for the three others.

“Oh, you’re making lunch for everyone.” She observes.

“Yeah, everyone’s running a bit late this morning and I’m ready. So, might as well.”

Jane smiles, “I’m proud of you. That’s really sweet.”

Anne immediately flushes and thanks her bashfully, she never did get used to the praise.

Kitty then runs into the room, claiming she is ready to go.

Her outfit is a little different today. But, also, Kitty’s outfits are always a little different. Today it’s red lumberjack pattern leggings and a green sweater. There are several silver accessories that compliment her choker with a silver ‘K’ charm hanging off of it. Her hair is in a messy bun, unlike yesterday when it was straightened.

“Jeez kid, is it Christmas already?”

Jane rolls her eyes at Anne’s comment. “I think you look cute, good job Kit.”

The girl beams at the compliment. Her sense of style has been a way of expressing autonomy, a way of showing that she has full control over her body. Jane is incredibly proud that the girl has found something to help her deal with her past trauma in a healthy way. Even if it means questionable but admittedly cute fashion choices.

Cathy and Anna pass by Jane, grabbing their lunches with a quick thanks to Anne. Anna is holding her wallet, so Jane supposes it was in fact in the pocket of her hoodie. Cathy grabs a to-go cup and fills it with coffee.

“Cathy, thank you for being the only one to not scream for me this morning. I’m proud. But have we got any sugar for your coffee?”

Jane doesn’t remember buying any, but she does recall running out yesterday.

“I picked some up on the way home, it’s in the top left cabinet.” Anna supplies.

“That’s great, Anna. Thank you.” Jane is using her Proud Mom Voice. Anna also gets a lot of praise from Cathy, who forgot to buy more and was about to have to drink bitter coffee. (Not that she would have minded, but she prefers it to be a bit sweeter during the day. Black coffee is for night time.) She also smiles at Jane for her comment on her independence.

With the coffee made, and everything needed for the day found, it’s time for them all to head out. Anne and Kitty can walk, and Anna drives Cathy to the library on her way to the shelter. Sometimes Jane walks with her cousins to the shop. She’ll pick up a bouquet for the house or a new plant for the garden and that’ll give her something to do for about a half hour of being home. But today she’s not feeling up for the walk, even if it is just down the road.

She does a headcount of everyone and mentally goes through the list of things to be done in the mornings. Everyone’s lunches are made. Anne and her things, Kitty and her choker, Anna and her bag, Cathy and her coffee, Catalina-

Catalina isn’t down yet. She drives the other car, so it’s not much of a hold up for the rest. They all attempt to grab something small to eat to take with them as Jane wonders where the oldest queen is.

Her relationship with Catalina is a little different. Catalina’s the oldest, the most regal and independent, she doesn’t need a mother. And while Jane has proudly claimed the mom friend title, she doesn’t want to cross any boundaries.

Of course she still checks in on her every once in a while, but she’s not as forthcoming in the mothering with her. They both seem rather content with the arrangement, seeing as they’re both the more mature one’s in the house. They tend to be the one taking care of the others, not being taken care of.

Just as Jane is about to check in to make sure Catalina is alright, the woman arrives amongst the rest. She looks a little happier than usual.

“Sorry for the hold up, I was caught up doing something.”

Jane’s about to ask what, but Cathy beats her to it.

“Oh, it’s nothing really. Just finished applying for that child care class.”

Everyone cheers. That’s something Catalina’s been putting off for a while now. She hasn’t done it yet in fear of being rejected or putting herself in a situation she’s not prepared for.

But this is a great step! Because Catalina’s end goal is to open her own daycare center, and having the credentials to back it is super helpful. And she’s already flushed at the reaction that she got, so maybe that's why when Jane places a hand on her arm and says she’s proud of her, Catalina freezes.

It was an instinct, honest. She’d never do that on purpose, it's quite honestly probably a little patronizing to the woman she holds in such high regard. It’s just that she’s been praising all of the rest of the queens all morning and she’s still in that mindset.

She pulls her hand away slowly, and Catalina shakes her head as if she’s trying to clear some thoughts, and they move on.

“Right, so, everyone out! You’ll all be late at this rate.”

Jane herds the rest to the door, seeing Catalina linger for a moment. But she catches Jane's eye and seems to brace herself before walking toward the door herself. Jane does not ask if she’s okay, she doesn’t want to overstep again.

“You all got ready and you’ll probably be on time! Great job, love you all, see you later!”

She gets a chorus of “Bye Mum!” back from all except one. A common joke among the queens, based on her role in the house. It honestly fills her with pride though, so she never refutes the moniker.

Jane tries to catch Catalina on her way out to wish her a good day; but the woman dodges her and races to her own car, leaving Jane worried she offended her friend.

Catalina presses submit and leans back in her chair with a deep breath. This is a big step for her. It’s a good thing, but it’s also a commitment. It does help with her long term plans though, so she’s willing to do it.

The class would only take her seven months to complete, and it’s all something she’s invested in, it shouldn't be this scary to start. But it is, and she can’t help but resent that she has no support.

She shakes that thought away as soon as it comes. Of course she has support. The queens are very supportive. She knows that when she tells them she finally applied they’ll all be very happy for her.

Happy, not proud.

She shouldn’t feel that way. She should be happy that she’s been given this second chance, happy that she’s able to spend it with her loving family. And she is! But she can’t help but feel slightly excluded.

“Jane!”

Catalina has half a mind to tell them to leave the poor woman alone. They’ve been calling for her all morning. But she does seem to enjoy that they need her so.

“Down here love, come and get your jacket before you and Kitty are late!”

“Jane! I can’t find-“

“Kitty, I found-“

She could never call for Jane like that. It’s more than likely she’d be judged for it. No, she’s independent. She’s the oldest, she doesn’t need Jane to take care of her. And honestly she does prefer to take care of herself. It’s not that that bothers her though.

It’s just that Jane always seems proud. Consistently, someone in the house is making her proud. Whether it be something small, like making a phone call; or something big, like getting their licenses. Jane always finds something to be proud of when it comes to all of the queens.

All except Catalina.

She’s honestly tried everything. She’s done the small things like make a big deal out of something menial and then finally doing it, to no avail.

(“Catalina, weren’t you supposed to make that call three days ago?”

Catalina bites her lip, hoping.

“Yeah, but it was making me nervous so I kept putting it off.”

That’s not even a lie. Catalina does in fact have a bit of anxiety surrounding phone calls. But usually she'd rather die than admit a fear. She hopes to receive some sort of reassurance out of this, as she’d had a rough week and this was pretty difficult. But instead she gets a frown.

“You shouldn’t put stuff like that off. If you need help with a phone call just ask.”)

Then she tried acting out, which truthfully made her feel quite childish and stupid. It didn’t work like it seems to work for Kitty or Anne, who Jane seems to have a soft spot for. But they’re family, Catalina reminds herself, real family.

(“I don’t wanna.”

Jane furrows her eyebrows, “What do you mean you don’t want to? You’ve been asking to cook this for weeks! I even set aside the ingredients.”

“Well, I changed my mind. I’m not cooking.”

She doesn’t get a gentle goading into whatever it is she changed her mind about suddenly, like Cathy or Anna would. No, this bout of unnecessary refusal to help out with dinner just lands her in hot water with Jane, who was already feeling a little stressed.

“All I ask is-“

Jane’s rant lasted about thirty minutes, and Catalina felt much like a child who was chided for disobedience all night.)

Needless to say, although she does acknowledge it in her head, Jane does not care for Catalina in the way she cares for the others. They do have a friendship, but Catalina does not receive the same type of love.

And it’s fine, totally fine.

Just that Catalina doesn’t quite want to face Jane this morning. Because she just did something really significant and if she has to face being treated unequal to the others when she mentions it she might have to go back to bed.

But she is happy she’s done it now. It’s like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders, she’s been putting this off for so long now that she’d never thought she would do it. One of the other daycare workers had convinced her yesterday to do it as soon as she got home, and she put it off until this morning. She couldn’t just go into work and face that person saying she didn’t do it, could she? And so she did.

With that sudden burst of happiness after her anxiety, she prepares to face the chaos waiting for her downstairs. She’s already heard them all congregate to the kitchen, maybe she can grab a pop tart before leaving.

“Cathy, thank you for being the only one to not scream for me this morning. I’m proud. But have we got any sugar for your coffee?”

“I picked some up on the way home, it’s in the top left cabinet.”

“That’s great, Anna. Thank you.”

So, Jane’s in a praising mood this morning. Great.

She walks briskly into the kitchen and moves toward the counter that holds her lunch bag, thanking Anne for packing it this morning. As she does this she apologizes for holding them all up, they’re clearly all ready to go. She hopes they haven’t been waiting long.

“What were you doing?”

She glances at Cathy, then starts rifling through her pockets again to find her keys. She’s looked for her keys three times now, she knows she has them, but it’s something to focus on.

“Oh, it’s nothing really.” She tries to sound nonchalant as she says it. “Just finished applying for that child care class.”

Nothing could have prepared her for the cheers that sound through the room. Everyone seems so happy for her. And Catalina herself is really excited, so it’s nice. It’s nice to feel people being happy for her, even if she’s not making anyone proud.

Kitty hugs her, Anna starts talking about the future plans to own a daycare that they can all help with, Cathy congratulates her since she knew how hard it was for Catalina to make that step. Even Anne is smiling at her and pitching ideas for Anna to shoot down.

And then, Catalina’s heart stops.

Jane puts a hand on her arm, like she’s seen the woman do to every other person in the house, and tells her she’s proud. She even looks like she means it, for a moment.

Catalina can’t possibly respond, as she’s never had to respond to that before. She’s been trying to make it happen, but she hadn’t thought this far ahead. She just freezes and stands still, eyes wide with surprise and slight hope. And then Jane looks slightly regretful, and it’s enough to kill her mood completely.

Of course it was habitual, she’s been telling people she’s proud all morning. But she doesn’t act like that with Catalina. It wasn’t on purpose.

“Right, everyone out!” Catalina doesn’t hear the rest of what Jane says as she withdraws her hand. Everyone makes their way out of the front door and says their goodbyes. And once Catalina regains her ability to move, she quickly dodges Jane’s special not caring goodbye to her and practically runs to her car.

Her drive to the daycare usually takes about twenty minutes, it’s not unusual for her to arrive early to help set up. On days like today, where everyone is running late, she gets there with enough time to at least say hello to everyone before they open. But today is a special case. This particular morning, Catalina pulls into the parking lot of a convenience store/gas station and doesn’t care if she’s going to be late.

Hands shaking, she takes the key out of the ignition and stares into space. Jane said she’s proud of her. Not only that, but Catalina ruined it by freezing up. Maybe she wouldn’t have looked so apprehensive and regretful if Catalina had reacted better. Damn.

She tries to recall something to make her feel better. Something to make her at least stable enough to drive. A memory from her maids as a child or something funny from this life, anything at all. But as she goes through her head all she can find is that she can’t remember the last time someone was proud of her.

That may have been the first time in either of her lives that anyone has ever told her so.

She takes a deep breath. She needs to stop being so weird about it. It was out of habit, a lapse in character. It’s not as if Jane actually meant anything by it; Catalina should stop thinking about it. Her heart should stop its longing, she’s a grown woman. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t have that kind of relationship with Jane, they’re still good friends. She doesn’t need Jane to feel that way about her.

God, she wishes that circle of thinking actually worked.

Jane worries. It’s something very known about her. If there was three things that signified Mom Friend to the group, it was her mom-like pride in her family, her hugs (which are soft,warm and inviting to all.), and her ability to inexplicably worry like no other.

Sometimes she frets over the other queens safety. Like when Kitty had wanted to go skydiving and brought Anna with her. Sometimes it’s at night time when she hears walking around. Although when that happens she can usually keep herself in bed if she hears more than one person up at a time. Today, she’s worried over if she’s just ruined her perfectly good friendship with Catalina.

She has so much respect for the woman, Jane would never intentionally cause her to feel uncomfortable. If only she’d just thought it through a bit more. Catalina clearly didn’t want the attention. But all Jane could think is that she was just so proud. Catalina’s been putting that off for so long now, Jane was so relieved to see it happen.

And now she’s alone, which doesn’t stop her worrying.

If anything being alone makes it worse, because now she’s overthinking what the woman's reaction could have possibly meant for them. Is she going to distance herself now? Will she be upset with Jane for accidentally being condescending? She would have every right to be indignant, Catherine of Aragon does not need to hear the praises of Jane, her former Lady In Waiting.

It’s been no more than thirty minutes since the others have left for the day, and Jane has already driven herself mad with anxiety. She tires to hum as she tidies the living room, only to feel herself becoming too impatient with the tasks. Then she attempted to watch TV, but ultimately could not focus. It seems today is a job for a bit of a more heavy duty distraction. Usually she’d work in the yard, but the hum of nature might hut more than help in the focusing department today. So, she picks up her most recent embroidery project and heads off to her bedroom.

She settles in, ready for a long day of avoiding her own thoughts. But the door downstairs opens, pulling her from her work immediately.

Who on earth could that be?

She opens her door and peers down the stairs, thankful that the location of her room allows her to see. Hopefully it’s not a burglar, Jane thinks she couldn’t handle that stress today. Not when she’d dealt with anxiety from yet another harrowing social interaction. Even with the queens, she finds a way to mess up. And they wonder why she’s an introvert.

The person who has entered their home starts coming up the stairs, and she sees. It’s only Catalina. Her heart slows in relief for a moment, before she remembers that Catalina is part of why she’s worrying. Then it shoots right back to the pace it was at before. Jane doesn’t close the door, she just makes eye contact with her and offers a smile.

“What happened with work?”

Catalina’s eyes flash an unfamiliar emotion before settling into a passive stare.

“Not feeling up to it today. I called out half way there.”

Now, usually Jane would rush to her fellow queens aid. But after this morning she doesn’t want to seem overbearing, so she stays rooted to her spot and keeps her tone even.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

If Catalina were anyone else, Jane would be running to help. She’d probably insist on calling a doctor and rush her to bed before even hearing what’s wrong. Then she’d endure the jokes at her expense for the overreaction.

But Catalina for some reason is not the same, so Jane does not act like that with her.

“No, I’m just going to lie down.”

Jane nods, and closes her door. Apparently not seeing the dejection emanating from the other woman’s very posture.

Catalina seriously just needs to make peace with the fact that she isn’t one of the others. She’s a part of the family, but she’ll never be in with them. If she made peace with this, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much when the examples of her isolation are so plain to see.

Instead of continuing to sulk in front of Jane’s door like a child, Catalina goes to her bedroom to sulk in her own space.

Catalina’s home.

Catalina is home, and Jane is so sure now that she’s made things weird. They can hardly make eye contact with each other.

She sits back down and aggressively picks up her embroidery project. Focus, focus, focus, focus! Her mind drifts back and forth between her hands moving swiftly through a stitch and her possible damaged friendship with Catalina. She should apologize, she won’t be leaving to focus until she-

Jane is abruptly pulled out of her thoughts by a subtle knock on her door. She knows Catalina is the only other queen home, but she can’t help but think that the knock is similar to Kitty’s on a bad day.

“Come in.”

The door opens slightly, and the woman on the other side ones her head in, “Jane?”

“Yes?”

There’s a hesitation, which is probably because Jane has made things irrecoverably weird between them. But eventually after her mental deliberation Catalina steps all the way into the room and softly closes the door behind herself.

When she doesn't speak right away, Jane moves her stuff off of the bed and invites her to sit. After Cataina’s sitting, they both make an attempt to start the conversation.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-“

“Thank you for saying you’re proud of me-“

They both stop and stare, wide eyed.

“What-“

“Why would you have made me-“

“I just thought-“

“No! Never, I-“

“We’ve just been such good friends-“

“Yes! And so that was nice to hear-“

Jane looks at Catalina, astounded. Had she really been happy about the praise? She says so, but she seemed so put off by it before.

“Then why did you react like it was wrong?” She questions.

She watches Catalina take a breath before providing her own explanation.

“It just caught me off guard is all. You don’t really tend to say things like that to me.”

“I mean, I never thought you’d need it.”

Catalina’s knee jerk reaction is to say she doesn’t. But then she stops herself. If this conversation is going to be productive at all, she needs to be honest.

“It’s nice to hear every once in a while, though.”

Jane looks surprised by the admission, as if Catalina has just told her a secret.

“I always thought it would make you uncomfortable.” She murmurs back, although now she sounds like she’s back in her head.

Catalina gulps, now or never.

“I’ve actually been wanting to hear it.” She admits before she can stifle herself.

The other woman is still absolutely shocked; and if at all possible, her eyes get wider.

“What?” Jane stammers out in disbelief. Catalina kind of wants the floor to open up and swallow her.

“Not to sound needy or anything!” She rushes. “It’s just that you say stuff like that to the others all of the time, and this is the first time you’ve said it to me! And so I got excited but I knew it was just you saying it out of habit so I didn’t respond.”

“-Well I would have said it more often to you if I’d known!”

“But you didn’t know-“

“I was trying to respect your boundaries-“

“I get that, nothing has to change either-“

“Hell yes it does!”

Now it’s Catalina’s turn to be wide eyed in surprise. She’s never heard Jane sound so indignant before.

“You’ve- what? Been thinking I’m just, not proud of you? This whole time?” There’s a sense of urgency in the defensive nature of her voice. She needs to know the answer to these questions. So Catalina answers truthfully.

“Well, yes? And you certainly don’t have to be. I’m a grown woman, I don’t need to hear that you’re proud of me all of the time.”

She didn’t realize she’d been looking away until Jane grabbed her arm. It’s a soft touch, reminiscent of the way she held it this morning. When she meets Jane’s eyes all she sees is warmth.

“Catalina, I am so, so proud of you. Every day.”

Catalina opens her mouth to protest, but Jane speaks again before she can.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been showing it properly. I thought that you’d be uncomfortable if I treated you the same as everyone else. I have too much respect for you to do that.”

Oh.

“I’ll say it more, now that I know you’re okay with it. Alright?”

Catalina can hardly nod, overcome with an indescribable emotion. All she knows is that she feels warm.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. They are good friends after all. Enjoying being around each other is the basis of their friendship, actually.

“Hey, Jane?”

“Yes?”

“You know, calling out is really stressful.” She observes.

Jane’s eyes light up in recognition, “Ah, yes. What with them asking you questions and your phone anxiety. I imagine it’s very difficult for you.”

She nods bashfully, hopeful once again.

“Well, dear, I am very proud of you.”

#Six #six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six ff #six fanfiction #catherine of aragon #Jane Seymour

66 notes · View notes

cheri-translates · 4 years ago

Text

[CN] Shaw’s Encounter Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date (and Season 2) which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

It’s important to know what’s going on in Season 2 so you wouldn’t get confused in this date. Do read this post if you don’t! :)

Parallel World Dates Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Victor

Check out @skyholders‘ translation of Lucien’s date here!

Making use of the university vacation, I return to Loveland City to begin practicing producing programs with the company.

Once I'm done with my afternoon work, I smile and lean towards Anna’s desk.

MC: We did quite a lot today. Thank you Anna.

Anna: I didn’t actually teach you much. You’re quick-witted, and you move fast.

In front of her desk, Anna looks at the time and smiles at me.

Anna: There’s nothing much left for today. Go back early, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Standing under the office building, I look towards the continuous crowd on the road and let out a long sigh.

During this season, Loveland City is the same as always, filled with water vapour and lush greenery. This normal afternoon is similar to the peacefulness and comfort in my memory.

Everything I've been through before, along with time’s unstoppable passage, causes familiar and foreign faces to continuously overlap.

Clearing my head, I stand at the bus stop. A bus happens to stop, and it displays three numbers: 330.

My heart suddenly skips a beat. I act without thinking, stepping forward like a puppet.

“Ding.”

When I regain my senses, I’m already on the bus that’s travelling in a completely opposite direction from my home.

MC: ...

I can’t help but release a sigh, mocking myself silently in my heart.

There aren’t many passengers on the bus. I sit at the same seat as before - the one against the window.

Outside the bus windows, pedestrians weave around busily. The noon sunlight falls onto the glass, making one feel warm.

However, I can’t help but recall that scene--

The early morning. Empty streets. Everyone feeling anxious in response to the danger...

And that unreasonable person who arrives and leaves whenever he wants to.

It seems like a world away, but it was real.

An inexplicable bitterness arises in my heart, and I rub my eyes.

MC: Where... could you be now?

While I’m mumbling to myself, the bus happens to stop at a familiar crossing. I lift my head subconsciously, staring closely at the entrance, as though anticipating something.

Even after the doors shut, no one boards the bus.

I smile in self-mockery, returning my gaze to the window.

MC: It makes sense. It didn’t happen at this time originally... since he said he wouldn’t be late again, I’ll trust him for once.

With the roar of the engine, the bus continues on the road.

Suddenly, along with the sound of wheels violently scraping the ground, the bus stops.

Losing my balance, I hit the chair in front of me with a dull thud.

MC: Ouch...

Bus driver: Do you want to die! You dare to block a bus!

The driver’s cursing brings me back to my senses. Even though I know I shouldn’t harbour such expectations, I can’t help but lift my head--

Carrying a long black bag, the lavender-haired man walks over.

[Note: Some CN players pointed out that Shaw shouldn’t be carrying a long black bag i.e. guitar bag. He should be carrying a skateboard.]

Under his scattered bangs, his lazy eyes meet mine.

He still has that casual and arrogant look, and doesn’t seem to care about the episode he just caused.

The light casts a faint halo on his messy hair, making every step he takes towards me appear unhurried.

In the next second, he sits down in the seat next to me.

I feel a little confused, as though someone has pressed a “freeze” button on me. I’m so shocked that I can’t move. I can only stare at him.

He puts down his skateboard, placing it upright in between us. He crosses his legs and takes out a black mp4 from his pocket--

Only now does my blood continue to flow. I sense a wave of inexplicable happiness within me, and I blink my slightly swollen eyes slowly.

Noticing my gaze, he turns his head over, eyebrows arched high. One corner of his lips crooks up into a smile.

Shaw: You want to listen?

MC: N-no.

I wave my hands subconsciously. Only after saying this do I realise the familiarity of this conversation.

In the quiet bus, that familiar tune of <<Holiday>> flows from his earpieces, though it isn’t very clear.

The familiar scene is like a replay. My heart feels as though it’s been tapped by something, and it’s difficult to remain calm.

Feeling slightly confused by this coincidental meeting with Shaw, I can’t help but turn and give him a glance, unsure of what to say.

MC: You...

Shaw: You want to ask about this?

Shaw casually sways the black cube in his hand with a half-smile.

Shaw: It’s a music player.

Different from typical music players, it has two extra dials at the bottom. The metal panel looks very shiny and smooth, as though it hasn’t been used for long.

Even though there are many things I want to say to him, I think about the “warning”--

“Your unintentional actions may lead to irretrievable consequences.”

I bite my lip and decide to quell my ideas. I continue.

MC: ...I see.

For some inexplicable reason, a patter of rain suddenly descends on this originally sunny afternoon. Before I can think about it, the bus makes a sudden sharp turn-

MC: Oof!

After getting hit, I cover my forehead with one hand. By the time I steady myself, Shaw’s eyes have already turned into impatient arcs, and he says directly to the driver:

Shaw: Oi, drive slowly!

Bus driver: This is a public...

With disdain in his eyes, Shaw stores away his earlier nonchalance, and says coldly.

Shaw: Drive slowly, do you hear me?

Intimidated by Shaw, the driver quickly nods. Shaw runs his fingers through his hair, and regains his earlier expression in an instant.

The ends of his narrow eyes are slightly raised, and he shoots me a playful look. He curls the corners of his mouth and his smile deepens.

Shaw: You bumped my skateboard.

This brat - he’s still the same as before!

MC: I’m sorry, I’ll apologise to it then.

She recalls the last time she saw him on the roof (Ch 37 of the main storyline, before Season 2) and his casual farewell

She decides that while Shaw has re-entered her life on his own terms, she wouldn’t let him leave casually again

It starts pouring heavily, and the bus driver asks everyone to get off

Shaw refuses to do so

Shaw: You want us to get off just because you say so? Who are you to say this?

MC tells the driver that since they aren’t in a rush, they can wait for the rain to become lighter before continuing the journey

She’s also secretly happy to extend this moment with Shaw

Soon, apart from the driver, only Shaw and I are left on the bus.

I cast sweeping glances at Shaw several times. I clear my throat, about to greet him formally--

Shaw: Oi...

I’m caught off guard when he suddenly turns towards me, his eyes teasing and amused.

Shaw: You’ve looked at me so many times... tell me, what do you want?

Tremendously loud thunder resounds in the sky. Heavy rain splatters against the glass windows, leaving behind smears like those in an oil painting.

I’m caught off guard by his sudden remark.

MC: You really don’t plan to leave the bus?

Shaw: Is there a problem?

MC: It looks like the rain will continue for a long time. Simply waiting seems boring. Why don’t we have a chat?

Shaw doesn’t respond immediately. He narrows his eyes and looks at me, his eyes revealing a meaningful expression.

Realising something, I immediately straighten up and my mind starts whirring.

MC: Actually, I’m an intern producer. I recently participated in a program related to Loveland University. You should be a University student too, right? Are you interested in being interviewed?

Shaw: Not interested.

MC: ...

Even though he rejected me outright, I had already expected it. Taking a deep breath, I try again.

MC: This interview is not a typical interview. It’s even more interesting than you can imagine. It isn’t boring at all. Also, I guarantee there wouldn’t be more than five questions! How about that - are you willing to cooperate?

I widen my eyes, looking at him expectantly.

Shaw tilts his head to the side. After looking me up and down for a few seconds, he closes his eyes and leans back against the seats comfortably.

Shaw: [sighs] Fine, ask away.

I feel refreshed with his agreement, and immediately retrieve a pen and paper from my bag, putting on a serious expression.

MC: May I know what your name is...?

He pouts. After two seconds, he lazily responds.

Shaw: Shaw.

MC: Are you a student from Loveland University?

Shaw releases a lazy “mm” from his nose.

MC: Archaeology?

Once the question leaves my lips, Shaw arches his eyebrows, looking at me playfully.

Shaw: How did you know?

MC: ...based on your temperament and appearance.

Shaw: Oh. Unfortunately, you got it wrong. I just got my research qualifications, so it doesn’t count.

MC: ...

I continue wearing an unfazed expression on my face, but am secretly shocked.

This person is pretty amazing.

MC: ...since you say this, you must really like antiques then?

Shaw: They’re all right.

MC: As a contemporary university student, you definitely have other hobbies apart from your own studies, right? For instance... something band-related?

Shaw widens his eyes and looks at me once he hears my words. Afraid he’d see through me, I squeeze out a professional, business-like smile.

The corners of his lips slowly curl into a teasing smile. Just when I think he’s about to respond, he suddenly snatches away my paper and pen.

MC: Ah!

Shaw: Your handwriting is really ugly.

He sweeps over my notes, then closes the book.

Shaw: Didn’t you say it wouldn’t be boring? Your interview doesn’t seem to match what you guaranteed.

MC: This is just the beginning. I haven’t reached the interesting questions yet!

Shaw: Stop taking notes. Let’s just chat casually. Also, what’s your name?

MC: ...MC.

Shaw: Which production company are you interning at?

MC: I’m the one interviewing you. Why are you the one asking me questions now?

Shaw: You’ve asked more than enough. It’s only fair if it’s reciprocal.

In the midst of conversing with Shaw, we seem to get to know each other again seriously.

The rain has become lighter, and the bus finally reaches the final stop slowly.

Once we leave the bus, he suddenly stuffs a transparent umbrella into my hand, then turns around to leave.

The water kicked up by his black sneakers splash onto his ripped jeans.

Shaw: You’re welcome.

Shaw lifts an arm and waves it. His lazy voice drifts towards me, entering my ears.

Watching his retreating form, I grip the umbrella tightly and bite my lips.

The trajectory of destiny is always deviating, yet seems to meet sometimes. Since meeting him again was destined to happen--

I no longer hesitate, and run in the direction where Shaw left. The water under my feet splashes, but the only thing I’m afraid of is not being able to run fast enough.

Finally, I see him at the intersection in front--

MC: Shaw! Wait for me!!

Shaw doesn’t seem to hear me, and he turns right into a small path. I hurriedly chase after him and enter the corner--

MC: Oof!

I crash into a sturdy yet warm chest.

Shaw is leaning sideways against the corner of the wall, one hand gently holding onto me, and the other stuffed in his pocket. He has a calm and relaxed expression.

Shaw: What is it? You like my skateboard that much?

I immediately straighten up, and realise that I’ve knocked into his skateboard again.

MC: ...

Shaw: Why did you call out to me? Just to make things clear - the interview is already over. No matter how many questions you ask, I won’t answer.

His familiar expression makes me want to tell him many, many things. Even after opening and closing my mouth a few times, I have no idea where to start. It seems as though no matter what I say, it wouldn’t be appropriate.

After some hesitation, I finally lift up the umbrella in my hand.

MC: I... I’m here to return the umbrella!

As though responding to me, rain starts to patter down around us, and onto Shaw’s hair. It looks like a soft halo.

Slightly surprised, I look towards the inexplicable light rain. I happen to see the imperceptible smile at the corner of Shaw’s mouth.

He seems... to be in a good mood?

MC: Since it’s raining again, here, I’m returning the umbrella!

Shaw stares at me fixedly for two seconds, his smile widening. Finally, he settles on a playful smile.

Shaw: ...quite interesting.

Unable to hear him clearly, I ask “what?”. He doesn’t repeat himself, but takes the umbrella from me.

“Pa.”

The transparent umbrella suddenly opens above me. Rain drops patter continuously on the transparent umbrella.

The pitter patter of rain enters my ears.

MC: Do you feel the rain getting heavier?

Shaw: Want to avoid the rain?

MC: Ah?

Shaw: Let’s go. That place doesn’t look too bad.

He brings her to the Street Art Exhibition House

She starts talking about including this location into her program

Shaw catches her in her lie: Wasn’t her program about university students? Why is she suddenly talking about exhibitions?

MC gives an excuse on how she’s able to multi-task

Shaw: It’s best to be focused during your internship. It’s not good to be distracted.

MC: ...sounds like you have working experience?

Shaw: I don’t. Who says I need to have experience to offer advice?

Shaw: Oi, do you know me?

MC: ...!

My heart leaps, and I instantly deny it in a loud voice.

MC: How is that possible!

Shaw: Really?

MC: Of course!

Shaw: So why did you chase after me?

MC: Didn’t I say it was to return your umbrella...

Shaw: Ohhh...

He deliberately elongates his words, a doubtful expression flashing across his eyes.

MC: If you don’t believe me...

Before I finish speaking, Shaw suddenly steps on the nearby stairs, turning around to face me.

Shaw: I even thought you were here to look for this!

He whips out a key which has a rabbit doll attached to it. He waves it in his hand gently.

MC: Isn’t this...

I hastily lower my head to dig through my bag, then realise my keys are missing.

I reach out, wanting to take the key from him. Before I can say “thanks”, Shaw has already clasped the key in his palm.

Shaw: I picked this up on the bus. It belongs to me now.

MC: ...where does such odd logic come from!

Shaw: You want it? That’s not impossible. What have you prepared in exchange?

Hearing Shaw’s tone, I release a resigned sigh. After offering him a series of items in exchange, he still isn’t satisfied, and wrinkles his eyebrows.

MC: You don’t like this, and you’re not satisfied with that. Why don’t you suggest the item?

Shaw: Oi, give me your phone.

MC: What do you want?

Shaw: Why do you have so many questions?

After saying this, he points at my phone, slightly impatient.

Confused, I hand my phone over to him, and watch as his fingers rapidly tap a series of numbers. In the next second, his own phone ringtone sounds clearly.

Shaw: Done. You owe me. We’ll talk about this next time.

As he says this, he throws the keys to me with a flick of his wrist.

Seeing that he’s about to leave the exhibition house, I lower my head and look at the key in my hands. I ask:

MC: Why did you pick up this key just now?

Shaw pauses in his steps. Then, his lips curl upwards.

Shaw: Who knows... the look of you running over was even more interesting than I thought.

Standing in place, I think about his words while in a trance. Already at the door, Shaw suddenly turns around again.

Shaw: Also, regarding the last question you asked in the interview... come watch my band perform in Live House when you’re free. That’s all.

With these words, Shaw turns and leaves.

A fine curtain of rain interweaves with the doorway he vanished into, just like a flowing background.

And our interweaving... has just begun.

🌸 MOMENTS 🌸

Shaw: The keychain is even bigger than the key. What a bother.

MC: What kind of keychain wouldn’t be considered bothersome then?

Shaw: Why should I tell you?

Shaw: The keychain is even bigger than the key. What a bother.

MC: To thank you for picking up my keys, why don’t I treat you to a meall?

Shaw: It depends on what you plan to treat me with.

Shaw: The keychain is even bigger than the key. What a bother.

MC: You don’t find it cute?

Shaw: No.

Phone Call: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc shaw

142 notes · View notes

not-a-healthy-human · 4 years ago

Text

So, today is my dear Birb's birthday and I have a lil gift for you!!! I wuv you birbie!!! Here some aramour Content!!!

Catalina de Aragón was calmed and collected. She was someone you never messed with. She was strong and loyal. Yet... There was something about a certain blonde that brought down her walls. Jane Seymour was not as innocent and oblivious as she made everyone think she was. Lina was definitely down on her knees before Jane's grip on romance, and Jane knew that all too well.

It all began just a few weeks after Cathy and Anne announced their relationship, and she was more than accepting. It seemed that her being ok with the lgbtq+ relationships that burst between her friends was the push Jane needed to flirt with her relentlessly. At first, it was just casual talking, nothing she could pin as flirting. But over time, it kept growing to the point where she was bound to be a blushing mess with each interaction she had with Seymour. Yeah, fun stuff!

They had a double show that day, and she was already a blushing mess. That morning Jane had woken her up with a little peck on her cheek and passed it off as a friend's thing. Then, after they all had breakfast, she offered herself to help her with the dishes. If it was any other day, and Jane wouldn't have been staring at her during the greater part of their breakfast, she wouldn't be weary. The thing is, she was staring at her during most of their breakfast. The next thing the blonde did that day was being extremely touchy-feely with her while doing the dishes. With this, you can picture her leaning to the side while 'accidentally' resting her head over Lina's shoulder to reach a glass or her 'casually' brushing her hand over her own to grab the dish soap. By the time they finished, de Aragón was as red as Anna's costume, and jane was as smug as Anne after winning an argument. -FUN-. When it was time to go, Jane 'coincidentally' sat on her side. Their arms were so close they were brushing against each other, and she didn't recall the moment the blonde rested her head on her shoulder and promptly fell asleep.

When they reached the theater, Lina regretted letting Anne know about her not-so-little crush. "Hey, Lina! Jane seems to be really tired, and we still have a few mins before warmups. Why don't you carry her and leave her on the bean bag you have in your dressing room so she can rest a bit!" Oh yeah, she was gonna murder that gremlin. "Sure." You could sense her bitterness even through her positive answer. Jane was not heavy at all, but somehow Lina was sweating, and her legs were trembling slightly when carrying her. Could it be because of her huge puppy crush on her? Probably. By the time she reached her dressing room, she was about to turn into a crimson sweaty tomato. She was about to rest Jane over the yellow bean bag when she felt Jane's hold on her neck intensify. "Were you gonna leave me here all alone? How impolite of your part, my queen." Jane was never asleep... Jane was never asleep... "I- It's also impolite t-to pretend to be asleep!" Lina debated whether to concentrate on Jane's weight still on her arms or Jane's sweet voice tutting in her ear. "Well, I guess we can make up to each other by sharing your precious bean bag." And, who was Lina to tell Jane off?

By the time Anna told them it was time for warmups, she was willing to bet that those wouldn't be necessary with how warm she felt.

As expected, the warmups not only made Lina blush even more at the tight attire Jane chose that day. By the end, she had to excuse herself before corraling Anne and gushing about how much she loved Jane. Anne, in turn, just listened oddly interested. "Boleyn! What was your plan with getting me to carry Jane!? She was awake!" Anne smiled slily before shrugging. "Y'know, us gays help each other. I was merely giving you a little push toward Aramour becoming canon." She couldn't wait to reveal to Cathy all the times Bolooser tripped on the court. "You can't just go around doing that!" Anne just shrugged one more time before putting on her costume's skirt and leaving the room.

Aragon was trying to put on her top and regretted not doing it before putting on her wig... Why was it so hard to put on?! It was in the middle of her struggling that a certain blonde came in. Of course, she came in while she was topless! "Seems you're struggling a bit. Need a Lil help there, mi Reina (my queen)?" Seriously, why did Jane wake up and decided she wanted Catherine to die of gay?! "Well, I'll gladly help!" Jane's voice was softer than normal, which only made it worse for Lina's heart. Lina somehow managed to survive Jane's hands lingering over her back where the zipper was placed. Now she only needed to survive Jane getting ready while she got her makeup done. The day was going excellent! Yes! Amazing!

The first notes played. They all stepped onto the stage to do their nightly routine. No matter how many times they repeated it, it never got old. Aragon uttered the first 'divorced' with a poise that was hard to imitate. This being the cue for the show to start. What the curly-haired woman failed to notice for the whole show was that the blonde kept sending her sly looks during their little dialogue exchanges. Too concentrated to notice how Jane practically stared at her at any chance she found. It wasn't until megasix came that Lina noticed how much more touchy-feely Jane was. And, as always, this ensued her almost missing some of the lines. She was lucky they barely had solos during that number.

"Catherine?" Jane called softly after they all finally pulled into the parking and got out of Anna's mini-van. Catherine was ready for more teasing, but she didn't expect Jane fucking Seymour to kiss her! Of course, while thinking about it, she forgot to kiss back. "Oh- Oh no! I'm so sorry! I didn't-" Lina finally got some guts to launch herself and kiss Jane. She could feel sparks going off on her head. Jane's lips were so soft! When they pulled back, Lina was a red mess, and Jane was grinning brightly. "I- So You like me?!" Lina asked dumbfounded. "Lina, I've been trying to hint it to you for months!" Jane said breathless, trying not to strangle her fellow queen. "I just wanted to hear you say it." Lina's ears were now as red as her face. "Well, Who am I to deny you this?" Jane subtly took Lina's waist before grabbing the collar of her jumper and pulling her down slightly. "I love you, Catalina de Aragón. I always will." With that, Jane closed the space between them and kissed her one more time.

Happy fricking birthday @songbirdss26 !!!!

#six #catherine of aragon #jane seymour #aramour #anne boleyn #cathy parr #anna of cleves #six the musical #six fanfiction

31 notes · View notes

isitgintimeyet · 4 years ago

Text

Just A Friend

The response to this story has been lovely, so thank you all for reading. liking, reblogging and commenting on this piece of fluff. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta

AO3

Chapter 6: From Irritation to Interrogation

And just like that, we’re friends, Jamie and I. It’s strange how quickly you can go from strangers to acquaintances to friends. After that walk in the park, something seems to have clicked with us, there’s an ease in our friendship that doesn’t happen too often. Despite our vastly different upbringings, we have many things in common: a shared love of irreverent comedy, a fondness for very good quality chocolate and wine and a determination to succeed in our chosen careers.

Of course, it helps that we don’t have the whole fancying-sexual-tension-romantic thing lurking in the background. As I’ve said before, Jamie is not my type and, judging by the pictures on his Facebook timeline, I am definitely not his, which appears to be doe-eyed, tanned, petite blondes— their pneumatic breasts frequently struggling to break free from their restraints. No tall, wild-haired brunettes with only-slightly-above-average breasts usually firmly encased in sensible lingerie.

I may even invite him to Geillis’ wedding as my plus one. We’ll see. I don’t think I’ll be dating by then, I quite fancy a few months without any of those complications.

********

One of life’s pleasures, for me, when I’m not on-call, is to walk to the local newsagents on a Sunday morning for the newspaper. If it’s fine, it’s another opportunity to sit on my balcony and read it at my leisure. A mug of freshly brewed coffee and a cinnamon bun enhances this experience.

Today, it’s not so fine, but sitting on my sofa while listening to the rain pounding against the window is pretty good too. I’m just about to start the crossword when my phone rings. I quickly swallow my mouthful of bun and glance at the screen—private number. I offer up a silent prayer that it’s not the hospital as I answer it.

“Claire Beauchamp?” The female voice sounds familiar.

“Yes.” I answer cautiously.

“Jes’ a wee word of warning. Karma can be a bitch, ye ken.” The voice grows louder and angrier. I recognise that tone, last heard berating Jamie. “Ye’ll get what ye deserve. Ye canna trust James Fraser, but ye’ll find out soon enough—the hard way, like I did… thanks tae ye.”

“Look, I—“ I begin, but before I can finish my sentence, she’s gone.

My initial reaction is irritation. Laoghaire, no doubt looking around for someone to blame for her recent break up, has cast me in the role of home wrecker, clearly using my carefully honed feminine wiles to lure Mr. Fraser from her clutches. Like Frank, she can’t quite believe that anyone could break up with her, without there being another waiting in the wings, ready and willing to take her place.

My irritation dissipates as I begin to see the funny side of this. She’s obviously thought long and hard about this—checking his Facebook friends, keeping records of his phone calls when they were together. Perhaps she sees herself as Jennifer Aniston against my Angelina. I hope Jamie can see this for what it is and laugh. Besides, in this scenario, that makes Jamie what? Brad Pitt?

*****************

Two days later, Jamie and I have arranged to have a quick drink after work in a mutually convenient bar. Summer has not yet returned to the city. Whilst not actually raining, the air is damp and there’s a definite nip in the air. I do a cursory check of the outdoor seating, just to see whether Jamie is heroically braving the elements, but there’s no sign of him.

I make my way into the bar and have a quick walk around before snagging a corner table. The seats are comfortable and it’s in a prime position for me to keep an eye out for his arrival. This bar has always been one of my favourites in the city. It feels grounded, like it’s been here forever. The stone walls and dark oak beams are unchanging and watching the inebriated trying to negotiate the uneven wooden floor on their way to the toilets always makes for good entertainment. In fact, people come from miles around to marvel at its very crookedness.

I check my phone for any messages. There’s one from Geillis, accepting my invitation for girls’ night on Friday at my flat. I reply and put the phone down just in time to see Jamie heading toward me. He’s obviously come straight from work as he’s still in his navy blue suit and white shirt. I’ve come straight from work too but am not nearly so smartly dressed. Having worn my blue scrubs all day, I’m now clad in jeans and a wrap around top which used to be orange, but has faded to a light amber colour. I feel somewhat underdressed next to him.

“Drink?” He asks, before even sitting down.

I nod. “I’m parched. Think I’ll have a shandy, please.”

“Lager shandy? Half pint?”

“Bitter,” I clarify, not being a great believer in girlie drinks. “And pint.”

He returns a couple of minutes later with a pint and a packet of crisps in each hand.

He takes a huge slug of beer. “Sae, what do ye ken? What’s new wi’ ye?”

And so, I recount my day of surgery to him. And, bless him, he looks interested all the way through my narration. He does turn a bit pale as I begin to explain my use of the bone mallet and chisel, and his crisps remain untouched, but he soldiers through.

“In other news,” I change the subject as his colour returns and he rips the crisps open. “I had an anonymous phone call from your ex, warning me about you and blaming me for your break up. But, never fear, I’ll get what’s coming to me when you do the same to me—“

A bout of coughing from Jamie breaks into my conversation. I get up and thump his back a couple of times. The coughing stops as he takes a swig of beer.

“Sorry,” he clears his throat and continues. “Crisp stuck in ma throat. She did what? How does she ken who ye are?”

“Presumably she kept a record of your phone calls and is monitoring your Facebook friends. Maybe you need to check your phone, see if she’s set up any other little apps so she can track where you are or what you’re doing.”

He shakes his head. “Aye, I’ll do that. I canna believe she would go tae such lengths. Although…” he pauses for a moment. “... mebbe I can. She was always the, er, suspicious type—asking me about women at work, convinced they were ready tae pounce on me. Perhaps I’m not the best judge of character, Claire. Ye need tae advise me.”

I laugh. “Ok. I’ll be your wingman, if you like. Or vet all your potential girlfriends. How about that?”

Jamie joins in with the laughter. His eyes twinkle and it’s funny the way he wrinkles his nose as he laughs.

“How about you? How’re the Spanish influenced dinners going? What are you up to?” I ask him.

“The plans are going grand. We’ve three dinner options planned out.” As usual, his face lights up as he explains the various menus to me.

“They all sound delicious. I’m looking forward to trying them.” And that's the truth.

“Weel, funny ye should mention that. We are looking fer people willing tae test them. How about it? Fancy trying one out? This week, mebbe? Free, of course.”

My weekend plans are getting better and better. Girls’ night at my flat could be turning into a bit of a Spanish fiesta, a mini replay of our Barcelona trip.

“I’d love that. Thanks. I’m having Geillis, Mary and Anna ‘round on Friday for a catch up. I could give you their opinion on the meal too.”

Jamie types something into his phone. “Great, I’ll sort it. So, good weekend plans then?”

“Oh yes, what about you?”

“Oh, I’ve got a sort of date type thing,” he mumbles into his pint and, to my surprise he goes a little bit red. Is he worried about telling me? Does he think that I will mind?

“That’s nice...isn’t it?”

“I dinna ken, really. I… I suppose so. It’s ma sister, Jenny’s, idea. A friend of hers from university. Ma sister canna quite believe that I’m no’ yet married and she keeps trying tae make it happen. And Jenny, weel, let’s jes’ say that she’s a force of nature. Ye dinna want tae mess wi’ her.”

***************

I’m not exactly the most gifted cook, but I think it would be hard to go wrong with the box of food and wine that Jamie has delivered. The asparagus is waiting to be cooked, the mouth-watering smell from the simmering chicken and chorizo fills my flat and bowls of juicy Spanish olives— some plain and some with garlic and chilli are dotted about the dinner table. Feeling inspired, I root out a large jug and begin to cut up fruit for sangria.

Like alcohol-seeking missiles, I’ve no sooner prepared the sangria when the doorbell rings. With many hugs, Geillis, Mary, Anna and I greet each other. I accept their gifts of wine, chocolate and flowers as we head into the flat.

As usual, everyone gravitates to the kitchen as I pass the drinks around, complimenting me on the wonderful aromas. Geillis’ stomach rumbles in eager anticipation.

When the four of us are together, the conversation flows as freely as the wine. Honestly, you would swear that we had not seen each other for months, when, in fact, I saw Anna on Tuesday in theatre, and squeezed in a coffee catch-up with Mary and Geillis only two days ago. The topics we cover are wide-ranging and random. Sangria and olives are accompanied by Anna’s search for a new flat, then the conversation turns to the destructive tendencies of Mary’s kitten as I serve the asparagus and Serrano ham starter.

For the main course, we have the tale of Geillis’ father refusing to wear a kilt for her wedding—he is prepared to don tartan trews but, according to Geillis, that will spoil the whole symmetry of the wedding photos. Neither, at the moment, seem willing to back down but, having known Geillis for so many years, it’s obvious to me who will win.

By the time I bring out the selection of Spanish biscuits and turrón, the conversation has moved on to men, more specifically Mary’s crush on a locum doctor newly arrived in the department. There’s a lot of good natured teasing about this—Mary seems to develop a new crush every couple of weeks, and why not?

Geillis drains her wine and turns to me. “Fantastic meal, Claire. Better than yer usual offerings.”

She pulls me close to her as she says this, and squeezes my arm to show she’s joking.

“Well, I have to confess. I did have a bit of assistance. I mean, I did the cooking, apart from the cookies, but everything came from FraserFood.”

“In that case, give me those chocolates back. I’m no’ sure ye’ve earned them.”

“But I have,” I moan. “I did all the cooking…and made sangria.” I reach across Geillis and help myself to another biscuit. They are melt-in-the-mouth delicious.

“It’s part of a new range they’re launching,” I try to explain as Anna and Mary start to squabble over the last biscuit. “Three course dinner party boxes. Everything you need. Jamie asked if I would test one of them out—“

Immediately Anna and Mary shut up, the last biscuit now abandoned on the plate.

“Woo-hoo,” Anna grins at me.

Geillis nudges me in the ribs. “Jamie, is it? And what else has Jamie given ye, eh?”

“Nothing, we’re friends, that’s it.”

“But we’ve seen pictures of him. Don’t ye want there tae be more tae it? I mean, c’mon look at him.” Now Mary joins in the questioning.

I sigh. “We can just be friends, you know.”

“Friends with benefits, mebbe?” Geillis isn’t giving up.

“No, just friends. Although…” my friends lean forward expectantly, perhaps awaiting some heartfelt confession from me, as if I’d suddenly realised my undying love, or, at least, a good bit of lust for Mr. Fraser. They’re going to be disappointed.

“...Although, I suppose you could say this free food and drink is a benefit. So,yes, I guess that makes us friends with benefits.”

Anna and Geillis look as if they don’t believe me, but say nothing. Mary isn’t prepared to drop the subject.

“So,” she starts. “So, suppose I meet yer—“

“Not mine,” I mutter under my breath.

Mary shrugs her shoulders and continues, “—yer Jamie Fraser. And suppose he asks me out and one thing leads tae another… ye’re telling us that ye wouldna mind?”

“No, I wouldn’t mind. Might be a bit awkward if you break up. I mean, can I still be friends with both of you?”

Geillis, laughing, joins in now. “Suppose our Mary marries Jamie Fraser and asks ye tae be a bridesmaid. Would ye mind then?”

I pretend to give this some thought. “Ah, now that does depend. Just how awful will the bridesmaid dress be, Mary?”

“Och, just hideous. We’ll be having a Disney themed wedding.”

All talking and laughing at once, we try to decide which would be the worst Disney outfit for a bridesmaid and finally settle on Moana.

I get up from the table to go and make coffee, but not before making one final statement on the whole platonic situation with Jamie.

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but I have no romantic interest in Jamie and neither does he. In fact, he told me that he’s got a date this weekend and that’s totally fine with me.”

Geillis grabs my hand in passing. “Ok, as long as ye’re fine. We jes’ dinna want ye getting hurt, Claire. We love ye too much fer that.”

I smile at my closest friends gathered around my table and feel a rush of warmth and love for them too. They’re my family, these girls, and, for all the joking and teasing, they have my best interests at heart.

“I know. Thank you for looking out for me. But, Jamie and I are friends, nothing more.”

And with that I head into the kitchen, giving Anna, Mary and Geillis, no doubt, the opportunity to continue to speculate about Jamie’s and my friendship. But really I don’t mind, they’ll get fed up soon enough when they see I’ve been telling the truth all along.

#outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #Just A Friend #Jamie Fraser #Claire Beauchamp #Chapter 6

114 notes · View notes

1-lightofjustice · 3 years ago

Text

Choice and Fate

Preview :

("I made it in time to be with you at your final moment and share your destiny. I am satisfied with that.") -July, 1999

("It may come to be that you'll share my destiny and have to die with me." "Then so be it.") -December, 2013

Two Kings, two knights, and their shared destiny.

Pairing : Fushimi and Munakata, Habari and Zenjou. No romance but a very deep bond

Tags : Metafiction, Angst with Happy Ending, Zenjou Gouki P.O.V

Notes : I was re-watching Side Blue Seven Stories, and boy do I fangirling hard when Zenjou talked about "shared destiny" (It's the same word, unmei!). Especially since Munakata and Fushimi's secret plan is my favorite thing on K : ROK. Then when I read about previous Blue clan's tale, it occurred to me that Habari/Zenjou/Shiotsu really has some similar dynamic with Munakata/Fushimi/Awashima. Responsible and doting beautiful King, serious and disciplined Lieutenant and second in command, and the wild card "can't wear their uniform properly" private force of the King. Their situation is also somewhat familiar, but of course in Munakata/Fushimi/Awashima's case, they ended with happy ending *pats Zenjou and Shiotsu*

Link of this fic on ao3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31751149

Throughout the surprisingly long life of a Zenjou Gouki, he has encountered many crazy situations. Hell, he managed to see the Kagutsu Crater incident right in front of him and stayed alive. But what happened last night can be included in one crazy thing that happened in front of his eyes after a long time.

It started with him following his current superior (not King, Munakata Reisi is never his King) to a small plain room. It was furnished exceedingly modestly, having only a desk and a bed. Zenjou thought that this boring place must be the perfect place to discuss something like a secret plan. Munakata seemed to notice his thought, informed him with a light tone.

"This is my private room. Not many people know about this room, so it will be convenient for our secret meeting.[1]"

"So you really have a place to rest. I've heard rumors about you are some kind of creature who doesn't need sleep." surprised Zenjou. Zenjou has heard many rumors regarding what a bizarre creature the current Blue King. From he has an infinite set of glasses to he lives inside network and doesn't need rest, because no single person ever see him in any condition except straight and sturdy. Although, he also never saw Habari slept either.

He wondered if that was Blue Kings' stubborn trait, to never let people see their crumbled form even on the brink of their death. Yes, he already knew the state of Munakata's Damocles Sword, but the current Blue King's eyes never waver in fear of his own fate.

Just like Habari on that damned day...

A disapproving tongue click voiced his thought, also turned his attention toward its source. Entered a lanky boy with a scowly face that maybe can rival Shiotsu. Of course, he knew immediately the identity of the boy. Fushimi Saruhiko, the number 3 of current Scepter 4. The wild card of the King, Munakata's favorite [2], who has given authority to act freely as his liking [3], much to the discipline Lieutenant Awashima's frustration.

("Zenjou, don't just face the enemy head out! I ordered you to wait, didn't I?!"

"So what? Habari said it's okay, didn't he? You're too stuck up, Shiotsu..."

"Sigh... Habari, you're too sweet with Zenjou.."

"It's fine, isn't it? This guy does a better job when he runs freely.") [4]

"As weird as he looks like, Captain is a human too. Obviously, he does things like resting and sleeping like the rest of us. He just works all the time like a moron and spouting nonsense like King doesn't get tired or something like that." Fushimi's sarcastic quip brought him back to the present. Zenjou has to tell Shiotsu that as delinquent as his past self, this boy is way way worse than him.

At least he never called Habari a moron.

Captain didn't look offended at the insult, though. He greeted the boy with his usual amused tone.

"Ah, Fushimi-kun, you finally came. Have you finished your work?"

The boy shrugged and sat on the only chair in the room, facing Munakata who was seated on his bed. Zenjou himself was content to stand leaning on the wall, away from any of them as possible.

"Tsk, after the alliance agreed on Silver King's plan, I have so many things that have to be prepared. You are the one who asked me to come to your room after today's work is over without getting noticed by other people. Do you realize how wrong it sounds?"

Munakata only smiled at Fushimi's insolent words.

"I'm sorry, but there's something important that I have to discuss with you in secret. It's related to Silver King's plan that we've heard this noon. After listening to that, I am planning to make a backup plan in case his plan is failed."

Backup plan...quite a natural move for the current Scepter 4's Captain. For a Blue King, he had a quite pessimistic mindset. Once again, Zenjou ascertained that Munakata is not the same as his bright and optimistic Habari.

But, a doubtful thought entered his mind. Was Habari indeed always optimistic? Suddenly he recalled his conversation with Habari about birds dropping, and Zenjou mulled, maybe Habari knew about his upcoming tragic fate earlier than he thought. [5]

Fushimi looked at Munakata with a curious gaze, devoid of worry or mistrust upon Captain's words.

"You think his plan will be failed?"

"I can't say that his plan will surely fail, but for a King who runs in shadow all this time, it's weird for Green King to make such an open attack. I have a feeling that Green King has something on his sleeve and it potentially can mess up Silver King's plan."

"Why didn't you say something at the alliance meeting earlier?" asked Fushimi, fully aware that the usual Munakata Reisi should not hesitate to say anything on his mind at the earlier alliance meeting. Munakata pushed his glasses in a somewhat weirdly embarrassed gesture.

"Because I'm still not sure what is Green King's hidden trick so so that my suspicions can seem like paranoia for no reason. I also don't want to discourage other Kings before the battle. Anna-kun is still a child and Isana-shi seems to...have quite a weak mental strength. Besides, the fewer people who know about my backup plan, the better."

Fushimi scanned around the room, seemed to have just realized the absence of Lieutenant Awashima and other Scepter 4 members.

"Lieutenant and the rest of Scepter 4 members are not included in your plan?"

"Yes, I just need you, Fushimi-kun, and you, Zenjou-san. I don't plan to include other clans either but I can't control their action. Is there any more question?"

Looks like finally the curious youth ran out of his questions. Zenjou himself refused to say anything unless he was asked directly.

"Alright then, will the two of you hear what I have to say?"

Zenjou felt a sudden deja vu. Three of them, a king and two wild cards, this situation mirrored their meeting before Kusuhara's avenge mission.[6]

"Fine, let's hear about your plan."

"If our defense on Mihashira tower is defeated and the Slate gets stolen by Green clan, I need you to enter Green clan, Fushimi-kun."

Zenjou froze upon hearing the sentence. He threw his full attention toward Munakata, to see what kind of face he made after uttered such a crazy task. But Munakata didn't seem going to take his words. The current Blue King switched his gaze at the boy Fushimi, who had an unnaturally speechless look on his young face.

"Infiltrate Green Clan, get as close as possible to their secret quarters and the Slate, then give us chance to attack them."

Fushimi's shocked face lasted for a few minutes. Then he finally found his voice to spoke up.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to be Green King's clansman. That means betray Scepter 4. Betray you ."

Munakata maintained his unshakable serenity.

"Yes, we will have a fake quarrel in front of everyone and you are supposed to leave me in anger."

The youth gradually lost his shocked face. In exchange, his mouth morphed into a twisted grin, and he let out a quite long crazed laugh. Captain just stared at him in silence with no intention to stop his subordinate's bizarre action. In the end, the boy regained his composure and threw Munakata a bitter smile.

"I see, it's such a fitting job for a traitor like me."

Munakata lowered his gaze, but his voice remained steady.

"Indeed you are the only one who can do this task, not only because you have switched clan before, but also I have complete faith in your ability to fulfill this mission."

"Faith, huh..."

Hearing his favorite subordinate's mocking tone, the Scepter 4 captain stood up and walked to the table near the boy. He gently put his hand on the table and spoke softly.

"But I understand that it's not an easy task to accept so you have all night to consider this. In the morning, please give-"

"I'll do it."

"Fushimi-kun?" Munakata's composure shook a little, jolted at Fushimi's resolute words. The person in question stared his Captain head-on with a determined expression.

"I accept this mission. Truly annoying, but I understand the importance of the backup plan, and your plan seems logical enough."

"Fushimi-kun, I advise you to think about this matter carefully. This is a mission with no guarantee that you would return alive. You can refuse it."

"Tsk, don't you say that you have faith in my ability?"

"I have absolute confidence that you can perform this task successfully. But after Green clan is aware of your espionage, you will be trapped in the middle of enemy's territory alone, especially since this mission is kept as a secret from everyone except me, you and Zenjou-san."

Fushimi took his eyes off Munakata and looked at Zenjou, as if just noticing the veteran's presence in the room. He looked at the scarred man slightly annoyed, probably because he didn't like other people to see his last (maybe) mental breakdown.

I don't want to see it either, kid. I don't even know why I am here.

"I understand to keep it from Lieutenant and others to make my betrayal will look real, but why does Zenjou-san is included in this plan?" protested Fushimi, not caring a little bit about Zenjou's demonic popularity. Then again, that kid once (maybe) deliberately passed him and taunted him with his own Captain's condition [7].

Truly no wonder that he's Munakata's favorite.

"After you give a chance to attack, I plan to confront Green clan and Zenjou-san, I need you to be my only companion."

If before Zenjou froze, now he felt like he was being doused by cold water. No one in the room didn't understand the hidden meaning of the Blue King's sentence. Munakata walked toward Zenjou and stared at him sternly, signified how serious the situation that Zenjou was getting into.

"I do not plan to include other Scepter 4 members since Awashima-kun and the rest should handle clan's matters in my absence. Zenjou-san, I will rely on your ability to give me the best possible protection while facing Green clan."

So he refused to say outright about the elephant in the room, huh. How hilarious. Voicing his thought, the youth snorted sarcastically.

"Pft, best possible protection, isn't he your executioner? Or what do you call him? Your Sword of Damocles, part of your destiny."

Wow, ain't that familiar words. So the boy overheard his conversation with the current Blue King on Kusuhara's avenge mission. Munakata didn't mind his subordinate's provocative words at all and firmly addressed the elder man.

"Zenjou-san, are you willing to accompany me and obliterate any threat that can harm humanity?"

Zenjou-san was well aware that the said humanity's threats meant by Munakata are not only about Green Clan and their grand plan. Munakata planned to push his Weismann's level past its limit to face Green clan, and when his Damocles Sword is at the risk of getting down, his life will be the obstacle that must be removed to prevent massive destruction.

(”Zenjou, you will always do the right thing. You will cut what needs to be cut.”)

"I will cut anything that needs to be cut."

"That's good then" nodded Munakata, who seemed satisfied at the confirmation of his own execution.

Silence engulfed the small room. Neither of them intended to open break the ice, probably busy with thoughts of each great burden on their shoulders. After a few minutes, the boy spoke up with an amused yet depressed tone.

"Lieutenant will not be happy about this."

"I bet she won't," chuckled Munakata softly.

"If somehow we can survive in the end, she will choke us with massive ankos."

The boy suppressed his giggle. He was aware of his impending fate, the high possibility of his death with his King...

And he laughed.

On that day , didn't he also laughed at the possibility of his death alongside Habari? Wait, no, he laughed about how angry Shiotsu to be left alone and has to handle all the mess after their death. And in the end, Shiotsu still had to take care of all Scepter 4 matters because Zenjou after he cut his own king is truly dead in everything but breaths.

Glad that Shiotsu isn't obsessed with anko. Not that he dislikes anko, though.

Captain's chuckle disappeared, seemed that he didn't enjoy Fushimi's newest humor.

"Fushimi-kun, are you sure-"

Fushimi stood up to silence Munakata's mouth, fixed his eyes to his Captain steadily.

"Shut up, I said that I will do it, didn't I. Just like you said, I am the only one who can do it. Instead of nagging me, you should think about yourself."

Fushimi turned around, refusing to face his Captain. The boy muttered petulantly.

"....I am not the one who will walk toward a practically suicide plan."

Munakata sat back on his bed, staring at the room ceiling.

"Your mission has a very high risk, it can be considered a suicide plan, though. It may come to be that you'll share my destiny and have to die with me."

"Then so be it."

Seeing the despairing scene unfolding before his eyes, Zenjou looked away, hard. He didn't like it. The scene he saw right now, is too similar like on that day.

("I made it in time to be with you at your final moment, and share your destiny. I am satisfied with that.")

"Well, there's nothing left to discuss, right? Then I'll go, there are so many things that need to be prepared for tomorrow's plan, also for this new backup plan."The boy hurriedly walked toward the door, still refuse to turn back and saw his Captain.

"Fushimi-kun?"

"Yes?"

The current Blue King took his eyes off the ceiling, focused his attention at his subordinate's back.

"If there's a time when you can choose your fate, please choose the best option for your safety."

The boy was silent for a few moments. Then, still with his back to his Captain, he grabbed the doorknob

"I'll keep that in mind."

The door was opened, and Fushimi was ready to walk out of that room. But, he turned back facing Munakata and stated with a soft yet clear voice.

"When the time comes, I have a feeling that my body will do what I think it's right to do, reason doesn't matter. Just like that night when I stepped to your side. So, I can't promise you anything that I myself can't understand."

"I see... Then, whatever your choice later, do not hesitate."

("Do not hesitate, Zenjou.")

"Yeah, I will not regret it."

I don't understand. Why did I must kill you that time, Habari?

The former right-hand of late Blue King silently watched as the youth's figure completely disappeared from the room. The current Blue King rose from his bed and also walked to the door.

"The meeting is over. Looks like we have so many things to be prepared, aren't we, Zenjou-san? Or do you have any questions?"

Questions? He has so many of them. He felt like he didn't understand anything at all. Blue Kings. Munakata.

Habari.

But there's one thing he had to make sure of.

"You will not let the boy share your fate, aren't you?"

Munakata just smiled softly and walked out of the room, as if his smile is enough for an answer. But the right-hand man of the late Blue King understood the meaning of that damned familiar smile.

The answer is as clear as the blue sky.

King, Zenjou thought, is truly the cruelest being.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

As Munakata predicted, Mihashira's plan was failed and Green clan succeed in stealing the Slate. As per Munakata's plan, he had a nasty verbal fight with Fushimi and the boy left in anger (he wondered how much it was acting and how much it was their scream to each other for the last time). Then, just like Munakata's prediction, the boy managed to be Jungle J-ranker, the current Blue King was fired from his job, and the rest of Scepter 4 were not allowed to leave home base.

The final stage had been prepared.

"I wish I knew what they were thinking, both Captain and Fushimi-san!"

A young energetic blue clansman's voice of frustration echoed in his ears, while he accompanied the Captain walked toward Green clan's base. Funnily, he wondered the same. He glanced at the current Blue King, hoped to catch a glimpse of emotion regarding his impending death. But the current Blue King walked straight as usual, there is no hesitation in his steps and his regal posture.

Habari, when you stood straight facing my sword, surrounded by destruction, what were you thinking?

Did he think about his duty as King to preserve society?

Did he think about his fate to die for everyone's sake?

Did he think about the benefit of his disappearance?

Is it... Is it so wrong for Zenjou to think the opposite?

To think that the world can crash and burn as long as he can be on his King's side?

("The country would be destroyed."

"I see... None of my concern. I fight with you, I die with you. That's all I need to do. Let Shiotsu take care of the rest.")

Losing on his thought, and let his body automatically slashed anything that came across their path, he halted when Munakata suddenly stopped in the middle of the road.

"Now we wait."

Wait, for what?

Zenjou got his answer quickly after. The road in front of him trembled and shifted. Green clan members around them yelled in panic, confused why and how the gate of their secret base was opened.

But the former right-hand of late Blue King understood. The boy did it. He chose to stay on his King's side and fight for his sake, disregarding his own life.

This means that for the boy, opened the gate for his King is the right thing to do.

Again, he hurriedly took a glance at the King beside him. The Blue King smiled softly, relief in his eyes tingled with immeasurable fondness.

"Fushimi-kun. You have done it."[8]

("That's right, Zenjou. That's fine.")

As if his mind wasn't already filled with painful nostalgia, a familiar person appeared from the gate. Ootori Seigo, the Gray King, another person who lost his everything because of Kagutsu Crater.

"Good grief, the gate really did open. Nagare's foresight is quite accurate."

Of course, the Gray King acknowledged Zenjou as Habari Jin's right-hand man. It's been 14 years ago, but no one will ever forget everything that happened in the middle of Kagutsu Crater. Not that he had any business with Ootori Seigo, now.

He was Munakata's problem.

As the Gray King summoned Damocles Sword, Munakata also summoned his. The broken Blue Damocles Sword clashed with the solid Gray Sword.

The Blue King unleashed his sanctum, pushing his Weissman level.

Green clan had been aware of the boy's infiltration.

The countdown of their death has begun.

So far, everything has gone according to Munakata's plan. But then many unexpected things happened. The first was the arrival of the red and white clansmen who entered the entrance that had been opened by Fushimi. Indeed, the Blue King had said that he cannot control the movements of other clans, but what happened after that certainly completely deviated from Captain's prediction.

Scepter 4 members, who were supposed to be confined in their home base, disregarded the orders from above and came to assist their King. For a supposed genius, Munakata is truly stupid to think that he stopped being their leader after he was fired. As if any clansman will accept that a single piece of paper dictates them to abandon their King.

("Tokyo Legal Affairs Bureau, Civil Registry Department, Annex 4 is just a facade. Our true identity is the proud Scepter 4 clansmen of Blue King, Munakata Reisi").

Supported by his clansmen's sanctuary, the Blue King rose from adversity and managed to turn the tide. In the end, he succeeded to land a fatal blow on Ootori Seigo and made his Damocles Sword disappeared. Every blue clansman rejoiced for it before suddenly Munakata's whole body crackled with uncontrolled Blue power.

Scepter 4 Lieutenant suddenly rushed to his side and prevented other people to come closer to her King.

"Everyone, stand back. You too, Zenjou-san."

Not too long ago, he challenged Lieutenant Awashima to kill her King. He didn't really think that it had to be her job to slay her King and stop her King's Damocles Sword. Maybe he was testing her. Maybe he was just annoyed because she nagged him about his role in killing King in the past (not that she was worse than Munakata about that). Maybe he was a little resentful because people like her remembered him best as the person who was credited with stopping Habari's Damocles Down by killing his own King.

No matter what reason, it was clear that Awashima took his words seriously. She immediately went to Munakata's side and kept everyone away from him.

"I am his lieutenant. If necessary, I will..." declared Awashima firmly, But her hands were shaking, indicating the heavy feeling raging in her heart.

("Zenjou, as always, you never do wrong things. You will cut what needs to be cut.")

The current Blue King just kept calm with his crackling body. Maybe he already gave up on controlling everything that happened around him and allowed himself to go with the inevitable flow of fate. What did he say before? 'There are times when you want to throw out reason and let fate take its course'.

"Awashima-kun, when the time comes, do not hesitate."

("Do not hesitate, Zenjou.")

Too focused on what was happening, no one noticed the gray king's departure from his previous place. Zenjou just noticed it for a while, and let him be. With the old man's battered body, Ootori couldn't do anything except mustered his last strength and limped toward his purpose of life.

"At least, he can die where he wants."

Which is certainly couldn't be said for Zenjou. All he can do is to live and observe the next tale of Blue. Blue that did not belong to him.

Wild power in Munakata' body was intensified. Crack in the huge blue sword grew exponentially. Lieutenant Awashima strengthened her grip on her sword, gritted her teeth.

Will history repeated itself?

Will the right hand of the King, the most devoted clansman of Blue, killed her own King?

Suddenly, crackles that enveloped the Blue King stopped. The broken Sword of Damocles disintegrated into blue sparkles, diluted in the clear blue sky. Lieutenant Awashima drastically relieved her tense posture, utterly grateful painted her pretty face.

Munakata himself didn't show any sharp change of expression. With the same serene and peaceful smile, the former Blue King whispered softly.

"It seems my life has been spared."

"Captain!"

Munakata turned his back facing his Lieutenant. He noticed the strong woman's refreshed face, as if she was just relieved from a huge burden and all is well. That's exactly what happened, indeed.

"I must admit that I was a bit curious to see if Awashima-kun would be able to slay me. However, I appreciate your efforts. Thank you."

Asshole. Even just after be free from the brink of certain death, the young captain is as cynical as ever. The Lieutenant's emotion didn't change much, but if someone looked closely, a spark of anger flashed her eyes.

"With all due respect, Captain. Your gratitude alone will not be enough."

"Huh?"

"Excuse me!"

A loud, well-deserved punch, streaked Munakata's baffled face. Zenjou snorted, silently cheered.

Serves him right.

He was truly satisfied to accompany Munakata today.

A huge earthquake shook underneath them. The Scepter 4 Captain in everything but an official title (not for long) quickly ordered his clansmen to evacuate. He himself stayed in the place he stood, stared forlornly at the remnant of Green Clan base below him. Come to think about it, Munakata had been staring at the Jungle entrance ever since he defeated Gray King.

As if he dropped something precious in there.

Do you regret hoping that he doesn't share the same fate as you, now that you survived?

Suddenly, a green light appeared behind him, carrying the bruised but clearly alive Blue's youngest clansman. The newly former King turned around, and finally met his private soldier's eyes for a long time since their hurtful (fake) quarrel. There are so many things that happened to them, so many things that should be discussed, but the youth casually spoke up, as if they're in a normal day of normal daily Scepter 4 life.

"Mission accomplished, sir.."

"Well done."

Seeing the serene scene in front of him, Zenjou suppressed the bitter envy in his heart.

If only he and Habari's situation ended up like them...

Kagutsu bastard... if he wanted to destroy everything so much, he should destroy the damned Slate when he was at it.

0000000000000000000000000

"So, have you found your answer on the last incident?" asked a man with a scary face beside Zenjou. His name is Shiotsu, the former Lieutenant of Habari's Scepter 4 and Zenjou's closest comrade after Habari. They were on a drink together in the same oden store as the last time [7].

"What answer? I was simply watching the current Blue King." replied Zenjou while sipping his drink. Shiotsu scowled.

"You certainly watched him because of that time . You said that you want to understand Habari after all.[9]"

Smoothing his frown, Shiotsu raised his glass and pondered.

"To be honest, I am curious too. How did he feel when he stood between his own life and massive destruction? How did he feel when he asked you to kill him?"

"Habari didn't ask me to kill him. I chose to do it."

The bespectacled man suddenly stated, put his glass down slowly.

"That's my answer I guess."

"What?" perplexed Shiotsu. Zenjou Gouki is the absolute loyal dog of Habari Jin. For him to admit that he chose to kill his King... the former Acting Captain of Scepter 4 couldn't believe his ears.

"On the recent incident with Munakata, The Blue-I mean former Blue King didn't ask Awashima to kill him. Still, she rushed to his side, just like I did in the past. She's prepared to do what needs to be done, for Scepter 4 and society's sake. On the other hand, that boy Fushimi chose to risk his life for Munakata, opened the gate that became the entrance for Silver King and his alliance to enter Jungle, and indirectly caused Munakata's Damocles to disappear. Both of them didn't move because of command. They just did what they think is the right thing to do, without hesitation."

Zenjou took a dejected breath, and continued calmly.

"At that time, maybe it happened to me as well. All Habari did was to let me do my choice and accepted his fate."

Shiotsu was silent, stared at Zenjou's contemplative look. The former guard dog of Blue King's face was melancholic just like how he always is while thinking about their King, but he could feel that finally, his closest comrade found peace in himself.

"I see... Then, did you regret your choice?"

Zenjou smiled wistfully.

"Part of me still wants to die alongside him on that day, but I will try not to regret what's already happened."

Shiotsu still remembered the days after the Kagutsu incident. Zenjou's blank hopeless look, as if his soul went with his king to the afterlife. Zenjou who left Scepter 4 right after Habari's death, and withdrew from everyone. Zenjou who refused to come out, and chose to grieve in silence.

Looking that his friend's sorrowful yet serene smile, Shiotsu felt very grateful that his friend was still alive and sat in his side.

"Good for you, Zenjou."

Looking at his comrade's unusual fond smile, Zenjou chuckled.

"So you can make a smile with that scowly face, Shiotsu."

"Shut up. I was born with this face, but you and Habari's recklessness certainly didn't help me to hold back my scowl."

Zenjou let out a crisp hearty laugh. Then, as if he had just remembered something, he grinned.

"Speaking about recklessness, Lieutenant Awashima is also not happy with both the current Blue King and his boy's recklessness. She's so angry when knowing that they literally walked toward suicide plans without her knowledge, intended to leave her alone to stay in Scepter 4 HQ and handle Clan's matters after their death. The discipline Lieutenant punched his superior and tried to break the boy's back with her hug."

Hearing that, Shiotsu couldn't help but snicker. Oh, he knew the feeling of that Lieutenant's frustration and exasperation very damn well.

"Of course she is, and they deserved it."

"On that day, Habari left your side to face Kagutsu alone. I also followed him and tried to die with him. To think about it, perhaps we both could be that reckless because we know that you can survive and take care of the rest of matters after our death. Like Awashima, do you ever feel angry-"

*BUGH*

A hard-boiled punch followed by a back-breaking hug answered Zenjou's question.

Reference :

[1] Case Files of Blue volume 2 chapter 3

[2] Fushimi Saruhiko side story

[3] Days of Blue Chapter 4

[4] Side Blue Oneshot- A Dog Reminiscence

[5] Zenjou Gouki ~ Dog Droppings, Bird Droppings

[6] K Seven Stories Side Blue

[7] K Countdown Chapter 6 : Damaged Blue

[8] K Return of King Manga Chapter 12

[9] K ~ Seven Stories ~ Piece 7: Habari Jin

#k project #Fushimi Saruhiko #Munakata Reisi #zenjou gouki #habari jin #Awashima Seri #shiotsu gen #scepter 4 #Zenjou Gouki P.O.V #angst with a happy ending #My fic

8 notes · View notes

cherrytdatt · 5 years ago

Text

Sadness Ritual

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.5k

Summary: that same old best friends falling in love concept we all know and love.

A/N: so this is the first fic i decided to post in here and it is just angst, i’m sorry. i don’t think this has any physical description or gender description.

Yep. You did it again. You stalked him and saw what you didn't want to. And now you were about to cry while drunk in wine, listening to Cigarettes After Sex. But you couldn't help. You needed to know. You needed to see with your own eyes.

"It's okay. Everything is okay," you said to yourself clicking to see the next paparazzi picture. "I'm gonna be okay," you were smiling, almost laughing at your stupidity. You really thought that Tom, your best friend, your childhood friend, could fall in love with you. You were laughing at how much of an idiot you felt.

Your phone rang for the tenth time but you didn't care to see who was calling or texting. Whatever. You drank another sip of wine, going to the next picture. "Fuck" you mumbled. Of course, she is beautiful. He's a movie star. He would never go out with someone who doesn't look like a fucking model.

'Pick up your damn phone or I'm going to broke into your damn house!!!!' it was your best friend, Anna. Your female best friend. Because your male best friend must’ve be on some date he didn't tell you about with a girl who looks like a model 24/7.

'What do you want?' you texted her back, trying to sound normal so she wouldn't break into your house and force you to go out to forget about this damn crush you had on your best friend who was now dating.

'Are you okay?' she said and you knew she knew. You knew she knew about the pics, about your crush and about how you were probably drunk and crying right now.

'Sure. Why wouldn't I be?' you faked.

'Haz told me. I'm sorry,' you could see the pity look in her face typing that while she cuddled with Tom's male best friend, Harrison.

'Told you what? I don't know what you're talking about,' you lied.

'I'm your best friend. You don't need to lie to me,' you couldn't talk to her anymore. It was making you sick.

'I need to go now. I'm seeing a movie and I'm already lost because I'm talking to you,' you lied again and turned your phone off. You really couldn't handle anyone right now.

"Fuck!" you rolled your eyes looking at another pic. They were holding hands. You thought about all the times he refused to go out with you because someone could take a picture and that would be awful. God forbid anyone thinking you two were dating. You laugh, a humorless laugh thinking about the time he asked a fan not to tell anyone he was eating McDonald's at 3 a.m. just with you after you two binge watched 'The Office' for 5 hours non-stop.

Three loud bangs at your door made you jump and almost drop the glass of wine you were pouring yourself.

"Why can't people leave me the fuck alone?" you asked yourself placing the glass on the table and going to the door already knowing you wouldn't open up not even for Jesus. You looked at the peephole and if you wouldn't open for Jesus, the person standing outside wouldn't have a chance of seeing your face. "Fuck," you mouthed trying to make no sound so the person would go away.

"I know you're in there. Let me in," he said with a serious voice. You tried to stay still to see if he was bluffing. "I can see your shadow moving under the door," you looked at your feet checking if he could really see your shadow and your drunk brain got to the conclusion that yes, he could see you.

You rolled your eyes thinking about a good excuse. "I'm not feeling so good. I talk to you later. O-or text you." you lied.

"Please. I know you're lying. Your second best friend told me you were upset," he said the last part with a joking tone.

"Yeah... well, I'm upset cause I'm feeling sick," you said leaning against the door.

"You can't lie to me. I'm hearing that awful band you listen to whenever you're sad... and by your voice, I can tell you are drinking wine. No one who is feeling sick drinks wine," he said and you could hear the laugh in his voice. You really couldn't see him right now. You were too sad and you knew he wanted to know why and there was no way in hell you were gonna tell him the real reason.

"Please, Tom... just leave me alone. We can talk tomorrow," you whined hiding your face in your hands.

"No way. I'm your best friend. I'm here to take care of you and I'm not gonna leave until you let me in," he said and his voice was concerned now. "I'm gonna spend the entire night on the floor and all your neighbors will talk about how you let a cute movie star spend the night on the floor and you will be a villain and they will hate you forever," he joked and you heard him shuffling on the other side of the door. You looked for the peephole again and saw him sitting on the floor just like he said he would do.

"You're so idiot," you said almost too low, but he heard it.

"But you love me," you saw his smile saying this and your heart was happy and hurt at the same time.

You moved away from the door, closing your computer and turning down the music you knew he hated. You heard him shuffling again. "I know you gonna let me in cause you turned off that awful music," he laughed.

"I didn't turn it off, I just turned down," you said holding the doorknob.

"By the way, why do you listen to such depressive music..." he started "...when you're sad?" he finished with a breathe when you opened the door.

"Do you want me to listen to a Barney song?" you quipped.

"First of all, tell me why you are sad?" he asked hugging you.

"No specific reason," you said trying your best not to melt into the hug.

"Why are you so difficult sometimes?" he let you go, invading your apartment.

"I'm not difficult," you protested.

"Sure," he sat on your couch and drank the wine from your glass. "And this awful cheap wine," he whined making a face and putting the glass on the table again.

"Are you here to criticize me? Cause I didn't ask you to come," you said a little more bitter than you needed.

"I'm joking, okay?" he said putting his hands in the air in defense.

"Okay," you mumble sitting by his side. "I thought you were out with friends today?" you started sitting by his side and trying to make him tell you about the damn girl you saw him with a few minutes ago.

"Who told you that?" he asked confused looking at you.

"Anna," you lied.

"Yeah... she was wrong," he said turning his eyes to the TV who was still playing some Cigarettes After Sex sad song.

"I thought so... since you were out yesterday," you said knowing, because of the pics, that he went out the night before.

"How do you know that?" he asked not looking at you.

"Anna?" you said but it was more like a question. He hummed neither denying nor confirming it. "Did you had fun?" you asked picking up your glass from the table and drinking almost the entire content, preparing yourself for his answer.

"It could've been better if you were there," he said fidgeting.

"Well, if you had asked me I could've been there," you said in an annoyed tone. He went on a date, with a girl he never told you about, and now he was telling you, you should've been there. Is he that stupid? He hummed again just making you more annoyed.

You got up, picking up the glass and the wine bottle and going to the kitchen. You didn't want to talk anymore since he was being an idiot. "You can sleep on the couch if you want," you said getting out of the kitchen and seeing him in the same position, looking at you.

"Can I sleep with you?" he asked taking you by surprise. You two had shared a bed before but only when you were too drunk to realize what you were doing. You were almost that drunk now, but you were pretty sure he wasn't.

"Sure," you shrugged trying to keep a cool tone. "I'm gonna... brush my teeth," you tried not to stutter.

You went to the bathroom with your mind all fuzzy and you didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or because of his question. You brushed your teeth wishing that your tipsy state would help you to fall asleep fast and smoothly. You looked at the mirror and took a deep breath. "Why am I so stressed about this? If something happens you can say you were drunk," you whispered looking at yourself in the mirror. "Something happens??? What the hell are you talking about? He's dating someone," you debated with yourself. "You are crazy!" you said, finally, pointing to yourself in the mirror. You proceeded to brush your teeth and try to sober up washing your face with almost frozen water.

“Can I use the bathroom?" a voice sounded on the other side of the door after a few minutes.

“Yeah. I'm almost done," you said drying your face in the towel and opening the door to find Tom standing by the door, waiting for you to get out.

"What took you so long?" he asked with a smile and you felt your stomach turn. Maybe it was the wine, not the smile.

"I-I'm going... to bed," you said pointing to your room. Maybe you weren't so drunk.

"I'll meet you there," he said nonchalantly going into the bathroom.

You hopped on the bed, wishing you could fall asleep before he got back from the bathroom. You laid there, staring at the ceiling, not a drop of sleep in your brain, that was running a thousand miles a second with the idea of sharing a bed with your crush and best friend, Tom.

"Do you still have that sweatpant I gave you a couple months ago?" Tom asked going back to the bedroom.

"Yeah, I think it's somewhere in my closet," you said. Of course you knew where they were. You fell asleep in them whenever you missed him. "Maybe... the second drawer," you finished seeing he was looking in the wrong place.

He opened the drawer finding the sweatpants and the shirt he gave you a few months ago when you passed out in his house after drinking an entire bottle of wine. "Lucky me I gave you this," he smiled taking off his pants and you forced yourself to look at the ceiling while he undressed. "So when are you gonna tell me why you're sad?" he asked putting the pants on.

"Uh-hum... I just told you, no specific reason," you said remembering the pictures again.

"You know I know you too well to believe in that, right?" he said taking off his shirt and you looked at him, your eyes lingering on his abs a little too long. He coughed catching your attention. You looked at his face and his lips were pressed together, trying to hide a smile.

"I think it's that time of the month," you lied.

"Sure," he said rolling his eyes, knowing you were lying. Your time of the month wasn't for another two weeks if he did the math right. "Do you mind if I sleep shirtless?" he asked holding the shirt in his hand.

"No," you said already knowing it would be a difficult night.

"Thanks," he smiled jumping on the bed by your side and you mumbled a 'your welcome'. Why was he doing this to you? First, go out with that girl. Then come to your house. Ask you to sleep in your bed. And now, lay down, shirtless, by your side, like that was nothing. Did he want to torture you?

He, turning on his side and holding your waist, cut your internal rant short. He pulled you closer, closer enough for you to feel his breath on your neck. If your brain could work, he would think 'why is he doing this?' You took a deep breath and, gathering all the strength in your body, you turned, staring at your white wall, with your back facing him.

"You know I would never hurt you on purpose," he whispered on your neck, out of nowhere. You closed your eyes, not answering him, and hoping this night would end soon.

You don't know when or how but you were able to fall asleep and that was before Tom placed a kiss to your neck, wishing he could end all your sadness with his presence.

At 3 a.m. you woke up like you always do when you drink wine. Your mind was still a little fuzzy and you felt a weight over your body. You grumbled rubbing your eyes, not knowing exactly what was going on. Tom breathed heavily on your neck and you turned your face quickly, a little confused. "Fuck," you mumbled to yourself. He was a heavy sleeper, thank God. You looked down, seeing his hand on your waist and his leg over your leg. Okay, this is less than ideal. How would you get up without waking him up?

You lifted his arm carefully, freeing your waist. Then you put the leg that was free from him on the floor and pulled the other one gently. You sighed satisfied, you were free. It was not that difficult. You rolled the rest of your body slowly out of the bed, kneeling on the side of your bed, trying not to smash your face on the floor. "Jesus," you murmured getting up and looking at Tom's motionless body on the bed. You blinked a few times, focusing on his bare back, his movements almost imperceptible. He looked like an angel. But when didn't he look like that?

He moved his arm scratching his nose. You ran to the door before he could recover his conscience completely and left the room. Your mouth had that weird taste of alcohol and your head was pounding. You slowly closed the door and leaned against it, trying to remember what happened before you went to bed. You weren't that drunk so it wasn't that hard. 'You know I would never hurt you on purpose,' Tom's last words before you sleep echoed in your mind. You closed your eyes, holding the tears that started to form. Did he know? Well, that didn't matter now. You didn't want to think about it now. You went to the kitchen and downed a glass full of water. The feeling of the liquid giving you temporary relief. You drank another one, knowing that that one would make you feel better. You leaned against the counter, staring at the dirty wine glass in the sink. "You're an idiot," you said to yourself. "Why did you let him in?" you rant to yourself putting the glass in the counter and walking around the kitchen. "He's your best friend and now he's dating. He'll hate you forever if you ruin this," you sat on a stool, hiding your face in your hands.

"Who are you talking to?" Tom said entering the kitchen and looking around.

"Jesus!" you said putting your hand in your chest. "A warning would be good."

"I'm sorry," he chuckled picking the glass you just used to drink water and pouring himself some water too.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," you said after you recovered from the shock.

"No problem. Are you okay?" he said with a concerned look, drinking the water.

"Great," you lied.

"Can you stop lying to me?" his voice was louder and a little angrier than he used to be with you.

"I-I'm not lying," you said looking everywhere but him.

"Are you serious?" he said putting the glass away and running a hand through his hair. He was pissed and that’s what he did when he was pissed.

"I'm s-sorry. I don't know what you want me to say. I'm good... everything is good... I'm sad because..." you stopped not knowing what to say next. "I don't know. Maybe PMS or whatever," you blurted out.

"Okay," he laughed humorlessly. "So, tell me something..." he looked in your eyes and you felt yourself getting smaller. "Why were you looking at pictures of me with a girl that I went out yesterday?" he asked in a deep voice and your entire body froze. "Tell me, Y/N," he took a step forward. "Why were you in your 'sadness ritual' looking at those pics?" he was so close you could feel his body invading your personal space and taking all your air away. "Do you have something to tell me?" he asked placing a hand on the counter by your side and trapping you against it. You closed your eyes, too dizzy to have this conversation now. "Anna thinks you do. And Haz too," he said.

"Tom I..." you started and noticing his glistering eyes on you. "I..." you blinked and the pics from hours ago took your entire mind. You cleared your dry throat. How was your mouth so dry? You just drank a lot of water. You hold the counter behind you. "I think you should go," you finally said.

"W-what?" he said, a confused look on his face.

"I really think you should go," you said more firmly. "I need to be by myself tonight. I'm really not feeling okay and I need some time," you pushed his arm, freeing yourself.

"I can't believe you're doing this," he said with a low and hurt voice. You just fucked up the only good thing in your life.

"Please..." you turned away from him, avoiding his look.

"You know that's not what you really want to say. You know you'll regret this. Don't do this," he reached for your arm and you pulled away from him. "Y/N."

"I don't know what you want me to do," now was your time to raise your voice. "Really? What do you want me to say?" you looked at him, you could feel your eyes burning but you were determined to keep the tears away. "Do you want me to tell you what I felt when I saw the pictures of you with a girl you invited out and didn't tell me about, God knows why. Do you want me to tell you why I felt so sad that I had to do my 'sadness ritual' to keep myself from screaming at you or broking my computer?" you said a little bitter. "You know what I have to tell you. You can pretend you don't know, you can mess around all you want, but you know that you are not ready to hear what I have to say," you rubbed your eyes, drying the tears that started to form in your eyes. "What I don't know is why are you doing this?" your voice was calmer now. You were really asking him this time. You were confused. "Why are you here? You seem to have a good thing," you said. "Go enjoy it and... let me be, please," you finished the last part in a whisper.

"You don't see it, do you?" he said and he was a lot better than you in the crying thing. He just cried, not afraid at all to show himself like that.

"What? What I don't see?" you asked crossing your arms. You were really tired of that talk.

"I don't wanna be with nobody else. I'm trying to tell you this for the last year and you keep ditching me. You don't listen to me," he said with a sad voice. "I love you. I want you. Please, don't make me go."

His words took you by surprise but you knew this wasn't as easy as it seemed. "You can't say that one day after you went on a date with another girl," you felt the hurt all over again.

"Please, Y/N. Don't do this," he reached for your arm, pulling you closer.

"I love you, but I need some time to think," you held your breath avoiding his gaze.

343 notes · View notes

harry-hollands · 4 years ago

Text

selcouth // harry holland // 2

chapter 2: The Not So Lonely Ray of Sunshine

story summary: Harry was used to living in his brothers’ shadows. Tom was the actor and Sam was the cook and musician. He was used to being second best and genuinely gave up on finding someone who could love him for him. Someone who could believe that Harry wasn’t second best. His mindset changes however, when he meets you. The sunshine to cast away all of the shadows.

teaser // chapter one //

chapter summary: sunshine shines brightest when happy

pairing: harry holland x reader

warnings: none? swears, fluffy, simp harry

word count: 1.8k

When Y/N had forgotten her winter coat, she had mentally cursed herself. She had made it into the theatre with minutes to spare, but she was mentally cursing herself. “How is it that I am the dumbest person in the world? How could I have been so damn dumb to leave my winter coat in Paddy’s car on one of the coldest nights I have ever experienced?”

Being pulled out of her thoughts by Alita, one of the stage directors, Y/N made it backstage, warming up her voice as she made it to her dressing room she shared with her ‘sisters’. Y/N gave a greeting to Sophia, who would be playing Angelica, and was also an American exchange student from California, and gave a greeting to London native, Sicily who would be playing Peggy Schuyler/Maria Reynolds.

“Hey, love! Cutting it a bit close, yeah?” Came Sicily’s thick and cheerful English accent. How she was able to keep out of her singing baffled both Y/N and Sophia.

Sophia giggled and rolled her eyes before reaching over and helping Y/N set her personals down before pulling the girl into a hug. “Hey, babe. Please ignore Ms. I’m Crabby Because Everyone Is Getting Into A Relationship But Me over there.” The Californian stated before pulling away and sitting back down at one of the vanities to finish her stage makeup.

Y/N couldn’t deny Sophia’s claim. Just last week, two of the ensemble members announced to the cast that they had been dating for six months, and over seven months ago, Sophia’s girlfriend, who just happened to be fucking Zendaya went public on Instagram, confirming what everyone was expecting; that the literal goddess was dating a Broadway member.

To be fair, Sicily had had a messy breakup a year prior, and was forced to cut a lot of people from her life who kept shitting on her for breaking up with her boyfriend. Y/N and Sophia were both relieved that the Londoner had broken off the relationship. Sicily’s ex radiated toxic masculinity, and verbally discussed his dislike for both Sophia and Y/N in front of their faces. Yeah. It was a lot.

Bored because the turntable on stage was refusing to work, Y/N decided to FaceTime Paddy to pass the time. During the whole call, Y/N was keeping her voice warm, and practiced harmonizing with Sophia and Sicily. After an announcement that the turntable was finally cooperating, Y/N rushed a goodbye to Paddy, and told him that the Hamilton Instagram page would be going live, so anyone could find out what goes on behind the scenes.

After running through their first dress rehearsal, and polishing up certain scenes, Alita, the stage manager had dismissed everyone. Y/N, Sicily, and Sophia made their way to their shared dressing rooms, wiping off their tear stained makeup. Sophia was taking off her ending dress, and Sicily was looking at her phone.

“Y/N, love, you are fucked.” Came the blunt voice of Sicily.

“Why?”

“It’s fucking snowing out, and it’s negative one degrees Celcius!”

“Fuck! I left my coat in Paddy’s car. Shit.”

Just as Sicily was about to make a teasing comment, Y/N’s phone went off, causing all three of them to jump.

“Bloody hell Y/N/N! Why is your ringer so loud?”

“Oh shut it Sicily. You’re ten times louder.”

“Only for you Soph!” Sicily remarked, with a wink.

“Shut up both of you! I’m trying to text Paddy back, and I can’t hear any of my thoughts!”

“Oops. Sorry.”

“Yeah. Sorry, love.”

Y/N rolled her eyes as the two continued to bicker quietly. She began typing intently, before pocketing her phone in her tote bag, and beginning to shed the layers of her Eliza costume. After the three women packed up, they all headed out the theatre doors, and hugged each other.

Sophia ran to Zendaya’s already familiar car, while Sicily hailed a taxi to take her to the tube. Y/N was still mentally cursing herself, as she wrapped her thin sweatshirt around her frame. “I really need to learn to wake up to my alarm.” The frozen girl muttered.

Waiting underneath the theatre awning for twenty minutes was probably the longest twenty minutes of Y/N’s twenty one years of life. As soon as she saw a car turn from the corner, approach the curb, and the sound of the horn, the actress immediately knew that it was Sora. How? Probably because she saw the girl cackling from the inside of the car.

As soon as she heard the horn of the car, Y/N was sprinting to her savior, and immediately throwing everything in the boot or trunk as she called it, into the car. Y/N, without hesitation, threw open the back door, and slammed it shut, with her teeth chattering, and her hair dusted in fastly melting snowflakes due to the heated temperature inside the car.

“Well don’t you look like Anna.” Sora teased from the front seat before taking off after Y/N had fastened her seatbelt.

“You are never going to let this go, are you? Just because I can sing Anna better than you does not make me her!” Y/N retaliated with a breathless laugh.

For the first time, Y/N glanced at Harry, and she instantly knew what Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton felt when she first saw Alexander. If she were in a musical, Y/N could guarantee she would break out into “Helpless”.

Unfortunately because life isn’t a musical, Y/N opted for a smile. And god was she thankful at that moment for the bitter cold. At least if she was called out on a blush, she could always blame it on the frigid weather.

Looking at Harry for the first time was indescribable. The way he smiled back at her was intoxicating, and while Y/N opted out for drinking, she felt as though she could get drunk on his smile. It was strange. How could one stranger make you feel this way in a matter of seconds?

An answer that both Harry nor Y/N knew at the moment...but that’s a story for the future.

Hearing his voice was like a prayer she didn’t know she needed to hear. Y/N had been compared to the sun since the day she was born. And when you think of the sun, you think of the day. And when you think of the day, you think of how much more social interaction goes on.

Most people assumed that Y/N was not a lonely person upon meeting her for the first time. Socially, Y/N probably knew almost everyone in Oahu. But romantically, the girl was so lonely. She was always that one friend who knew who was dating who, and gave out the best relationship advice despite never actually dating anyone.

Sure people had crushes on her, but no one looked at Y/N the way Harry did in the first few seconds. He looked at her like she was the only girl in the world. The only girl that truly mattered. For the first time ever in her life, Y/N felt like she was the most important person in the room...or in this case, the car.

From Paddy’s position in the front passenger seat, he could tell that his best friend, with whom he had grown to be super protective of, and his brother, who he had never seen look so lovesick, were taken. Even if they had just been introduced, they acted as if they had known each other since kindergarten. Paddy was definitely going to bring up how he was the perfect matchmaker at Sora and Harrison’s wedding, and eventually Y/N’s and Harry’s...but uh...again. A story for the future.

The car ride back to the house was filled with melodious laughter, lighthearted banter, and the occasional swears in English, Japanese, and Hawaiian.

As soon as Sora pulled up to the house and parked, everyone leaped out of the car, Y/N this time with her winter coat on, grabbed her garment bags and purse, while Harry kindly closed the door of the boot of the car.

The snow dusted group made it to the front door, and hurried inside, slamming the door shut, not wanting the warm air to escape. Sora and Y/N brushed off the white powder before hanging up their coats and scarves on the clothing hooks by the door.

Laughter and light bickering was heard in the living area, which caused a light smile to appear on Sora’s face. “Glad to see that they survived without us.”

Harry chuckled before helping Y/N with her garment bags, yelling a hello in the house, which caused a few thumps before Elysia came charging down the hall.

“Y/N/N!” The twenty-three-year old Brit launched herself onto Y/N causing the unsuspecting girl to tumble on the ground.

“Hey El! How’s life treating you?”

“Eh. You know. Same old, same old. How’re rehearsals?”

“Exhausting. In fact, I need to put them on and walk and dance in the stage heels we’re required to wear. We just got them delivered today.”

The rest of the group who had stayed behind, came down the hall and smiled when they saw Y/N on the floor with Elysia on top, still holding Y/N in a bone crushing hug.

Elysia, after another moment more, finally stood up, and helped the musical actress stand up. The two shared a giggle before Y/N looked up at the rest of the group.

As soon as Sam locked eyes with Y/N’s frame, the older twin immediately gasped before bouncing up and down in excitement. “Bloody hell! You’re Y/N Y/L/N! The insanely talented theatre foreign exchange student at LAMDA! Some of my friends who attend LAMDA always speak of you!”

Y/N blushed profusely at the sight of being recognized. “I wouldn’t say I’m that good though. Everyone is pretty much exaggerating.” She answered honestly.

Sam continued to shake his head. “No, I don’t think you understand. It’s extremely difficult to get a leading role as an underclassmen for a musical, but for a foreign exchange student of any age snagging a leading role is impossible!”

Y/N just shrugged her shoulders, before introducing herself to the rest of the group. “Uh. Hello. My name's Y/N and I’m playing Eliza Hamilton in Hamilton in a couple of months. I’m also studying at LAMDA, and booking some auditions on the side.” The girl stated softly, slightly intimidated by all of the gorgeous human beings in front of her.

As introductions had been passed around, Y/N was shown to a spare guest room by Harry and Tom where she could change into her historical ensemble and practice her singing and dancing in the studio that Tom had for practicing stunts in the backyard.

As soon as Y/N emerged from the guest room wearing the signature satin blue dress, a hush fell over the room. Any signs of conversations had ceased when they saw the sight of the satin baby blue dress hug the girl’s body.

“Holy fucking shit.” Harry muttered under his breath.

Let me know if you want to be tagged! If your username is struck through, it means that it won’t let me tag you!

Taglist:

@peeterparkr @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe @lovingisharry @hollanderfangirl @purpleskiesstorm @euphorichxlland @astridcommings @captainchrisstan @antigoneidk @moonstarsandsongs

44 notes · View notes

cynicalrainbows · 4 years ago

Text

Restrictions

This is a very short, not-very-well-written ficlet I wrote today for the very talented @2nerd4this after a couple of days helping my mum move house. I’m weary so it’s not great but enjoy anyway.

‘Mija?’ Catalina tapped on Cathy’s bedroom door. ‘Are you coming down for dinner? Kitty made a tagine-’

There was no answer, but that wasn’t exactly unusual- all the queens were well aware of the last queen’s tendency to get absorbed in things, to the point that mere trifles like food and sleep rather fell by the wayside, and since Cathy had made her choice to pursue a formal 21st century education public, she’d been even more distracted, as she spent every minute she could preparing.

Of course, being Cathy, this also meant she hadn’t even thought about beginning to pack yet- and Anna and Anne were seriously starting to consider just making a run to Ikea the week before term began and doing the obligatory pre-uni shopping themselves.

So it wasn’t a surprise to Catalina to receive silence in answer to her question: it never was.

They all knocked- every time- out of habit, but they seldom expected a response.

‘Mija?’

She pushed open the bedroom door and poked her head in, expecting to have to peel her goddaughter away from her desk….and then stopped in surprise.

‘Hi Catty.’

Cathy’s voice was flat, and Catalina felt a twinge of alarm. Something was wrong- Cathy was at her desk- but her laptop was closed and all her books were still on their shelves. Instead, she was just….sitting. The university prospectus was in front of her, but it wasn’t open and Catalina strongly suspected that her goddaughter had been merely staring into space before she’d knocked.

‘Are you coming down for dinner?’

‘I’m not hungry.’

‘Are you sure mija? Kitty added apricots just for you.’

Cathy nodded.

‘Alright. We’ll save you some, ok?’

‘Fine.’

Cathy sounded so very disinterested- not merely distracted but actually apathetic- that Catalina, rather than withdrawing, came all the way into the room.

‘Are you alright, mija?’

‘I’m fine.’

Catalina sat down on the end of the bed and scrutinised her goddaughter- her pale face, the tense set of her shoulders- and shook her head.

‘I don’t think you are mija. Want to tell me what’s wrong?’

‘Not particularly.’ But she didn’t sound terribly emphatic. Catalina took that as a good sign.

‘Then do you want to put me off for a few hours before you give in and tell me anyway like normal?’

This at least drew a reluctant smile and Catalina gave an internal sigh of relief- so it wasn’t THAT bad.

She nodded to the glossy brochure on the desk. ‘Is it….anything to do with that?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Go on.’

Cathy sighed. ‘They sent an email today- about the new restrictions, for the start of term. And I was sort of expecting it, so it wasn’t a complete surprise but….still. All the stuff they normally put on for Freshers, all the orientation stuff, all the social stuff, it’s all had to be cancelled and...well, I obviously understand WHY so I’m not really complaining but-’ She turned an anguished face to her godmother, her hands wringing in her lap. ‘I don’t know, it’s just all going to be completely different to what I expected and...Well, I was anxious before but at least I knew I had the orientation stuff to sort of help me ease into it and now I don’t have anything and I don’t know how I’m going to cope-’

‘Oh mija-’ Catalina reached out and drew Cathy away from her desk to sit beside her on the bed. ‘I’m sorry- that must have been quite a shock to have to read.’

‘It wasn’t exactly a surprise.’

‘Yes but still. Oh querida-’ Catalina wrapped an arm around her goddaughters shoulders and pulled her close.

‘It’s going to be so different, and there won’t be any of the usual stuff to help everyone settle in, we just have to….start.’ Cathy gave a bitter laugh, half muffled against her godmother's shoulder. ‘I mean I thought I was nervous before but-’

‘I know mija. I’m sure you’re not the only person feeling like this though, it must have been a shock to everyone.’

‘I know.’

‘I know it doesn’t seem like it now mija, but it will be ok, you know?’

Cathy nodded slowly.

‘Honestly- you’re so much stronger than you know. It’s scary but you’ll all be new together at least, all in the same situation.’

Cathy didn’t say anything and Catalina couldn’t help but feel that her encouraging talk was falling rather flat, which was annoying when she was usually considered the best at giving advice and a listening ear. Of course, if she was feeling out of her depth just trying to give advice on a situation like this, how on earth must Cathy be feeling?

‘I’m sorry mija, I wish I could fix it for you-’ She wasn’t USED to not being able to fix things for Cathy, that was the problem. Unfortunately, this, she knew, wasn’t something that could be fixed by talking it through.

‘No you’re right- I know you’re right-’ Cathy sat up wearily and drew a hand over her eyes. ‘I know it’s all ok really, and we’re all in the same boat… Silly of me to be upset over it-’

‘Silly?’ Catalina widened her eyes, shocked. ‘Mija, if THAT’S what you’ve taken from this conversation, I’ve obviously been going about it completely wrong-’

‘But-’ Cathy felt wrong-footed. ‘But- you said it would all be ok-’

‘It WILL all be ok!’ Catalina still sounded extremely firm on that issue, which was mildly reassuring, if a little confusing. ‘OF COURSE it will all be ok mija- but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be anxious or sad over it!’

‘But you said-’

‘I know. I’m doing this wrong… Querida-’ Catalina took both of her goddaughters hands in her own and squeezed them. ‘ You’ve had a shock. Plans have changed. Things are different- in all sorts of ways. You’re allowed to be sad for that, you’re allowed to be anxious- frankly, I’d be mildly perturbed if you WERE entirely unaffected. What you have to do-’ She wrapped an arm around Cathy’s shoulders and pulled her close again. ‘What you have to do is just….prepare yourself. Try and get things into some sort of perspective, although I appreciate that’s a big thing to ask.’

‘So….get over it?’

‘No! No, not at all!’ Catalina looked absolutely horrified. ‘Mija! As if I’d ever tell you something like that!’

‘Then how do you mean?’ Try as she might, Cathy couldn’t really see how ‘getting things in perspective’ was any different to ‘get over it’.

‘I mean… Well, it’s not going to be easy. So you need to accept that- that you’ll have some days where it will feel a bit lonely or days where it will feel a bit strange.’

‘I HAVE-’

‘But also-’ Catalina carried on as if Cathy hadn’t spoken. ‘-part of accepting that means just recognising that however it might feel in the moment, it doesn’t need to mean anything more than that you’re having a hard day. Like, if you have a bad day, it doesn’t mean they’re all going to be bad days, or that there’s anything hugely wrong.’

‘So just don’t catastrophize?’ Cathy shook her head, and gave a sarcastic chuckle. ‘If only you’d told me this last year! Things would have been so much easier!’

Catalina didn’t rise to sarcasm, she just shrugged. ‘I know how it sounds- I just mean...not don’t do it, like it’s easy because it’s not, just….be aware of that tendency in yourself, so that you can remind yourself that you’re imagining the worst because it’s a thing you do, and NOT because it’s proof that things ARE going terribly. Do you see the difference?’

Cathy nodded reluctantly. ‘I suppose. Sorry. Just- it gets so tiring, when everyone keeps telling you there’s nothing to worry about and then being surprised when you’re not better….’

‘I can only imagine mija. I’m honestly impressed that you don’t shout at everyone who does that, honestly- even me and the other queens, I know we’re guilty of it too.’

‘Only a bit.’

Catalina smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Cathy’s head. ‘Can I keep going or have you had your fill of wisdom? If you’ve had enough, I can leave you in peace if you like. Or you can come down- you don’t have to eat right now if you really don’t want to. Or I can stay and we can watch some netflix or something, I could read to you if you’d like. Whatever you want, mija.’

‘You can go on.’

‘Ok querida. But do cut me off if it gets annoying. The other thing I wanted to say, when you’re thinking about how it’s all going to be so much harder, is that you also need to remember that you’d have had hard days anyway. No matter what was going on everywhere else. And then, like now, you’d get through them. And as well as the bad days, there will also be good days and good things.’

‘I know you’re right but…’ Cathy fidgeted slightly. ‘It’s so much HARDER to imagine the good stuff now- it just...it feels so much less likely….’

‘Of course it’s harder mija. And of course it’s harder to imagine it- but just think of all the other wonderful, hard things you’ve managed, that you never could have imagined before. You managed them- and you’ll manage this too.’

There was a pause- and Catalina wondered for a moment if she’d managed to seriously annoy Cathy enough that she was having to take a second to compose herself before responding. The pause stretched into such a long one that Catalina thought that maybe her goddaughter had dozed off while she was delivering her stirring speech. She wouldn’t even have blamed her- she knew that the sixth queen hadn’t been sleeping well lately, her anxiety keeping her awake and restless long after the others had turned off their lights….but when she glanced down, she could see Cathy’s eyes were open.

Finally, she spoke.

‘What if I don’t, madrina?’ Cathy’s voice was very small, almost a whisper, as if she was half hoping Catalina wouldn’t hear her. ‘ What if….something goes wrong, what if I can’t manage it after all- even after everything, after everything you’ve said?’ She kept her eyes in her lap, her fingers playing with a loose thread in the sleeve of her (Anne’s) green hoody.

She didn’t quite dare meet her godmother's eyes, in case she saw even a hint of the disappointment she feared more than anything else- but when Catalina cupped her cheek, she found she couldn’t look away. No disappointment, only tender understanding.

‘Then mija, we will know that right now, it was not the best path for you. And I will do everything in my power to help you work out what your best path looks like- whether it’s a different course, or the same course but in a year or a few years, or a job, or something else entirely.’

‘Won’t you be disappointed though?’

‘Nothing you could do would disappoint me, mija. All I want is for you to be happy- and I support your study because right now, it is what makes you happy. And you know I’m proud of you- more than I am of anything else. But I promise you, I would be no less proud of you, whatever you chose to do.’

‘Really?’

‘You’ll always be my estrellita, mija. How could I not be proud?’

Cathy found that her throat was unaccountably too tight for her to respond, but she pressed herself more firmly into Catalina’s arms and could tell from the way they tightened around her that Catalina understood what she wanted to express.

‘Do you want to carry on talking mija? We can, if you like. YOU can talk if you like, I promise I’ll listen rather than just going on at you…’

‘I- I think I want to stop, for now.’ Cathy’s voice was still a bit husky but not too bad. ‘Maybe later though-’

Catalina smiled encouragingly down at her. ‘Whenever you like mija. My door is always open to you, you know.’

‘I know. Thank you Catty.’

‘You’re welcome mi vida.’ Catalina paused. ‘Now- what do you need? What can I do? Are you sure you’re not hungry? Only you barely touched your lunch and-’

Cathy shook her head, but half heartedly. ‘I’m ok-’

‘You could try just a little bit and-’

Cathy laughed. ‘Fine, ok. How will I manage when I’m living in Halls without you to make sure I’m eating? How will YOu manage when you don’t have me to worry about?’

‘Badly I suspect, to be honest mija. If you hear of someone arrested on the tube for offering complete strangers bowls of tagine and trying to make them drink water, you’ll know it’s me….’

‘It’s ok, I’ll come visit you in prison. In between my wild university social life of course.’

‘I’ll appreciate that. Do you think you’re ready to come down and eat with the others or shall I bring you a bowl up here?’

‘I’ll come down- but afterwards, do you think we could have some time just the two of us?’ Cathy looked a little awkward. ‘Just- I know I won’t see you as often once I’m away so I’d like to make the most of it while I can….if that’s ok with you?’

‘I’d love that, mi vida.’

An hour later, Cathy was tucked under Catalina’s arm, a laptop balanced between them and Braveheart just beginning.

‘Are you SURE you won’t mind if I interrupt?’

Catalina laughed. ‘No, I promise- I know you like being able to point out the bits they get wrong.’

‘There are just so MANY!’

Catalina kissed the top of Cathy’s head and settled her goddaughter more comfortably against her.

‘I know querida, I know.’

Before the movie was even half finished, Cathy felt herself drifting: something about being curled up with Catalina just had a very soporific effect on her, and she’d complained to the woman about it more than once (it was why she and Catalina tended to sit at opposite ends of the sofa when they did group interviews, as a precaution.).

Annoyingly, she was not only too cosy to properly focus on the film but also too much so to even move away to help wake herself up.

Oh well. She decided it didn’t matter- she’d seen the film before after all. For now, she decided to just enjoy being so warm and comfortable.

She felt Catalina’s hand smoothing back a curl from her face, and sleepily leaned into the touch, her eyes still closed.

Catalina’s head bent to hers.

‘It will all be alright mija- no matter what happens, it will all be alright. I promise.’

It was said very quietly, but for the first time, Cathy felt close to believing her.

#six #six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #sixfic #six fanfiction

33 notes · View notes

thesvenqueen · 4 years ago

Text

With All My Love

Rating: M Pairing: Kristanna (as if it would be anything else) Also on AO3

Previous Chapters: (Prologue One Two Three) Notes: a short little filler chapter but more Kristoff so I mean, can’t be bad chapter then lol

{Chapter 4}

It’s the soft, distant chirping of birds that brings Anna from her dreams. Her head aches, her nose stopped up from crying the night before. She cracks her puffy eyes enough to see the sun peeking just so from her curtains. She groans, burying her face into her pillow.

Never a morning person, it was normal for her to not want to welcome the new day. After the events of yesterday, however, she wanted nothing more than to lie in bed all day if she could manage it.

Sleep had evaded her last night. Not for lack of trying as she had collapsed into her bed once she’d returned from her late night journey. However, her thoughts had kept her awake, and had caused the tears to form once more.

It was not just the argument with her sister that repeated over and over, Elsa’s voice harsh and cruel when she said her decision was final, that weighed on her. Nor the painful reminder that she was set to leave all she knew behind within a few months time.

No, she found herself second guessing everything. The letter to K more than anything.

Had she been too forward, too rash in her decision? Had she not been convincing enough? What if he said no, what if K thought their love was not enough to fight for as she had believed?

What if he didn’t respond at all?

The anxious thoughts had caused a moment of panic for Anna, her heart racing and tears falling as she sobbed into her pillow.

If that was not enough, her dreams were filled with hands pulling her every which way. Anna trying desperately to resist but having no strength, no weight against their pulls. Angry, harsh voices yelled at her, directing her where to go and what to do.

She’d awaken from that nightmare with a start, but fell asleep soon after hoping for dreamless sleep.

Luck was not on her side, as the nightmare to follow was worse.

Anna had escaped the castle, ready to leave, standing beside the Oak tree. She waited, and waited, and waited for K to come. Time flew by around her, days and nights passing rapidly, the world moving around her. Still, as she stood there in wait, he never came.

She’d awoken to tears falling down her cheeks.

To say she was exhausted was an understatement, from lack of sleep and crying out her pain, her body had nothing left.

It’s not just weariness that keeps her in bed. If she waits long enough, she thinks, she will miss breakfast. Which is completely fine by her, as she can’t stand the thought of sitting across from her sister this morning.

She doesn’t trust herself to not begin yelling at Elsa once more, not able to hold back the anger she holds deep inside. More so, she can’t have the gentle reminder, as her sister reads over the papers and her documents, of how she thinks so little of Anna.

Anna isn’t sure when she falls back asleep, for merely a moment or an hour it is unclear, but the next thing she knows is she awakens to a soft knocking on her door.

“Your highness?” She hears Gerda call, but Anna gives no answer.

A moment passes and then Anna hears the soft creak of her door as it opens.

Opening her eyes, she watches as Gerda walks in with a tray in hand. “My lady, I brought you breakfast.” Gerda says, not looking to Anna who has not moved, “Eggs and toast with strawberry jam and a pot of tea with cream and sugar as well.” Gerda moves to the table in front of the fireplace, placing the tray down gently. It’s then as she places the tray down, she peeks over at Anna.

There’s eyes meet, only for a moment but Anna catches the soft smile on Gerda’s face, the way her brows are furrowed ever so. Gerda moves, fixes a cup of tea without another word. Once ready, Gerda comes to Anna’s bedside, placing the tea on the nightstand.

Anna is curled up, her face half buried beneath the comforter. As Gerda places the tea down, she looks over to Anna. It’s then Anna sees the understanding in her eyes, the bit of concern written on the old woman’s features.

“Your lessons were canceled today, dear.” Gerda murmurs softly. “Figured you needed a break for once.”

Anna is hit with the understanding that word must have traveled through the castle on her future arrangement. Not trusting her voice, Anna simply nods in thanks.

Gerda, seeming to understand, nods back at her with the same soft, knowing smile.

“Take all the time you need, my lady.” She says gently, before turning to leave the room.

~.~

Anna manages to leave her bed in favor of the breakfast set for her. The smell of the eggs and toast had made her very much aware how hungry she was.

She moves slowly then, enjoying the peace and quiet of it all as she dresses for the day.

There is no rush, no need to scramble to get anywhere. She has the whole day to waste away, but as the morning drags on she can’t help but wish there was something she could be doing.

She’s made her way to the back entrance of the kitchen, sitting on the side of the stairs, one leg swinging. It is almost comical how perfect the day is. The sun is warm, a nice cool breeze coming across the fjord. Birds are chirping all around, a bell echoing from the docks from a few incoming ships.

Any other day like this, she’d be laying among the flowers in the castle garden or up in the Oak Tree, watching the village go about it’s day.

Not today though.

Today she has no energy or desire to go enjoy anything.

It’s childish, Anna knows, to mope but, she deserves one day at least to do so. It helps that she hasn’t seen a single sole all day, everyone seemingly busy with other things or maybe they were taking advantage of the nice day. Either way, it’s nice to not have to answer to anyone for a moment, to avoid potential whispers as she passes or sad, knowing smiles.

Anna leans her head back, letting the sun beat down on her face.

It’s an odd comfort, one that keeps her from biting away at her nails. Her left hand has suffered greatly from all the picking she has done from her anxious thoughts. It’s been a long time since she’s been pushed to do so, but as they say old habits die hard.

She tries to focus on the birds, on the sound of the breeze blowing; on anything but her own thoughts.

“Long night, Princess?”

Anna jumps in surprise, looking around frantically before her eyes find Kristoff. She’d been so lost she hadn’t heard him arrive.

She lets out a breath, hand going to her heart to try and slow down it’s rapid beating. “Yeah,” She murmurs, “You could say that.”

Anna can tell something is different in Kristoff today. She can’t place it, but as she goes to unstrap the ice, there is a slight tension in his shoulders. His jaw is clenched, his brows furrowed. She watches him untie the ropes a little more forcefully than usual. Not to mention, he is extremely late on his usual early morning delivery..

“Everything ok?” Anna asks softly.

Kristoff pauses then, sighing before he turns around. “Yeah,” he says with a smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes, “I’m ok. Just a long day.” His eyes roam over her, and Anna can’t fight back the blush that comes to her cheeks over his gaze. His smile falls, a look of concern now replacing it, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“That’s rude of you to say.”

Kristoff rolls his eyes, Anna smiles a small smile at the gesture. “I mean, you look down. Like something is wrong.”

Anna’s smile falls immediately. She bites her lip, ponders for a second if she should even tell him. Might as well, word will travel at some point. “I’m getting married.”

Kristoff stops short of taking the first step up to the kitchen, ice block in hand. He looks over at her, a look of complete surprise. “Oh…”

Anna just nods, unsure herself what to say.

He continues inside, speaking once he comes back out, “Congrats then.”

Anna huffs a bitter laugh, “Thanks.” she says coldly.

Kristoff continues to work, grabbing another block, not picking up on her tone, “I didn’t know you were courting anyone.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Ah,” Kristoff says, going up the stairs once more. “Arrangement?”

Anna nods.

“Well, least your future is planned out I guess.” Kristoff calls as he comes back out.

Anna furrows her brows at his receding back. “What?”

“I mean, I thought this was what all Princesses wanted right? Or royals in general guess? Be married off to a Prince Charming to live happy ever after?” Kristoff says. Anna can fill the anger bubbling up once more, her jaw clenched tightly as he continues, “You get to settle down, have the castle and family you always wanted. I just thought this was every girl's dream?”

“To be married off to some stranger they’ve never met, never even heard of? To be shipped away to some unknown kingdom for the sake of some agreement? To marry out of duty and not love?” Anna nearly yells, her chest heaving in anger, “You think that’s what I want?”

Kristoff just stares at her, eyes wide as she glares at him.

“I don’t want this.” Anna says, feeling the familiar burn as tears form, “I never wanted this.”

Kristoff stays silent, shuffling a little under her gaze. They’ve never been close, never sharing their personal life or anything of the sort.

But for him to assume such a thing about her, after years of knowing each other still hurt either way.

“I’m sorry.” he says, looking at her with regret in his eyes. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know you didn’t.” She says, closing her eyes as she leans back against the wall, pressing her palms to her eyes. “I get it. Everyone thinks that’s all we want. A prince to come and take us away, to be married off and swept away to a far off kingdom to live out their dreams. But that’s not my dream, not even close.” Anna takes slow deep breaths, trying to gather herself. “I’ve never had a say in my life, comes with the title I guess but I don’t want this. I want a say in my life, I want to be myself and not someone everyone wants me to be.”

She sniffles as she removes her hands, blinking at the light as she looks up. The look on Kristoff’s face is not one she expects. She can’t quite place the expression, what it is he is feeling as he looks at her with squinted eyes.

Before Anna can begin to ask, he shakes his head, coughs lightly as he makes his way back up the stairs.

Anna looks back to her lap, legs now crossed and hands folded as she tries not to pick once more at her nails.

“I’m sorry.” Anna looks over, Kristoff now kneels beside her on the steps. “I’m sorry I assumed. I...I shouldn’t have. I really am sorry about what I said and...and everything else.” Anna looks away, shrugs. “I hope it can at least all work out in the end for you.”

Anna nods, keeping her eyes in her lap as she feels the tears coming back. She keeps her head down as she hears him move to continue his duty.

Closing her eyes, she cherishes this moment while she can. Even with all the banter and teasing, she would miss him.

There is a sudden weight in her hands, resting gently on her lap and Anna opens her eyes to find Sven resting his head on her. His large eyes look up at her with what Anna thinks is understanding. She realizes Kristoff let him off his reigns to come sit with her.

It makes her heart soar.

Anna looks over to see Kristoff wordlessly moving towards the kitchen and their eyes meet. He smiles at her and nods.

Sven snuffs softly, head tilting a little and Anna looks back to smile at the animal. She runs her fingers through his fur, petting his neck and head in comfort.

It takes much longer for Kristoff to finish his delivery, but Anna doesn’t mind in the slightest.

#kristanna #kristoff #anna #with all my love #jessica writes

48 notes · View notes

cheri-translates · 4 years ago

Text

[CN] Lucien’s Fireworks Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

A very observant anon sent this in to provide some context as to where this date fits into the main storyline!

Am here to fulfil @superlemniscate’s wish of seeing this cancelled CN date translated 🍮

More from this Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Victor

The date begins with MC waking up in a hospital because she fainted from overwork.

Lucien comes into the ward just as she is about to call Anna to check on work. It has been half a month since they last met, so seeing him now leaves her with mixed feelings and an inexplicable happiness.

MC: I haven’t seen you in a long time…

Lucien: You wanted to see me very badly?

MC: I didn’t mean it that way…

Lucien: It has indeed been a long time. It felt like a long winter.

MC: It wasn’t that long, we met…

Before I can finish, Lucien towers over me, caging me in his shadow.

Lucien: It’s been so long, and you still haven’t learnt how to take care of yourself.

He looks like he has more to say, but stops himself.

MC: It’s just gastric…

Lucien: … Then what kind of sickness falls outside “just”? You really…

He pauses, and a coldness appears in his eyes. I’ve never seen such a Lucien before.

MC: I’ll take better care next time…

Hearing this, he sighs. He rubs the top of my head gently, as he did in the past.

Lucien: …There wouldn’t be a next time. Come, be good and lie down. Rest early.

Lucien sits at a corner quietly.

Lucien: I’ll keep you company here.

I watch him silently and notice his deep eyebags.

Did Lucien set aside his work to hurry here? He’s already in such a state and still wants to take care of me…

With this in mind, I flash him a big smile.

MC: I suddenly feel a little tired. You don’t have to accompany me, I’ll be fine!

Lucien gently pinches my face, a look of resignation on his face.

Lucien: But there is a silly little girl who has expended my trust. If she wants me to believe her, I have to stay here and ensure that she’s asleep.

My cheeks grow red, and I hide my face under the covers.

Lucien: Or… are you trying to chase me away?

MC: No, I’m just worried about you… You don’t look too well.

Lucien: Don’t worry. Staying here with you is a form of rest. It’s better than being anywhere else.

He says this with assurance, and I can only nod.

Lucien: My only task for today is to stay by your side until you fall asleep. If you continue being energetic and waking up, I wouldn’t be able to complete my task. So, could I trouble this lady to cooperate?

My eyes are covered by his large, gentle hand. It blocks out the white light from the hospital room, and blocks out everything that worries me.

That cold Lucien I saw just now seems to have just been a hallucination.

His low voice seems to carry with it a certain magic, and I temporarily forget the pain in my abdomen, and obediently close my eyes.

A sudden tiredness comes with the warmth from Lucien’s palm, and takes over my entire body.

The date switches to Lucien’s POV and explains how worried he felt when he heard MC was in the hospital

He doesn’t know what he is anxious about. He doesn’t know why he feels angry.

Only when he sees the girl, and sees her caring for him, does Lucien understand that this anger is all because of one person.

Because he has learnt an emotion called “worry”.

Lucien stays until he has nothing else to do, tucks her in a little more, then leaves.

MC wakes up to find that Lucien is gone. Anna calls to check on her and assure MC that everything is all right, but MC can tell that something has gone wrong at work because she hears quarrelling in the background.

She’s prepared to leave the hospital but trips into the arms of none other than Lucien.

MC: …Lucien?!

Lucien doesn’t respond, keeping his arm around my waist, his eyes boring a hole into me. His expression is unreadable, and I am filled with guilt.

MC: Why haven’t you left?

Lucien’s eyes trail to the back of my hand where I had injections earlier, frowning.

Before I can make sense of the situation, I am lifted and wrapped into Lucien’s warm arms.

The people walking past us stop and stare, some even whispering amongst themselves.

MC: Lucien, I…

Lucien: Be good.

He ends with these two words. Carrying me, we return to the ward.

A tense atmosphere hangs in the air. There is some coolness in Lucien’s embrace, and his cold buttons are on my face. The tension dissipates slightly after he sets me down on the bed.

Lucien holds my hand, gently applying pressure and rubbing the back of my hand.

Lucien: Does it hurt?

MC: No, no it doesn’t.

Lucien’s eyelid moves slightly. He looks at me silently for a while, indifferent, his eyes having within them a faint light. Although there doesn’t seem to be a change in his mood, I can sense a sort of anger hidden in his calm expression.

Lucien: Mm. I’ll make a move then.

Lucien’s tone has become a little cold. He turns around, taking large steps as he leaves the ward.

Is he angry?

For a moment, I forget the reason why I even left the ward in the first place. I am in a daze, watching the open door and not knowing what to do.

MC: [groans in pain]

My abdominal pain returns, and I hurriedly grab some medicine off the bedside and swallow them.

MC: Where’s my cup…

A shadow crosses in front of me. My vision becomes clear after a moment of dizziness.

A glass of warm water appears in my hand.

MC: Lucien… Didn’t you leave?

Lucien just stares at me.

Lucien: It’s not hot anymore.

Lucien’s tone is steady. I nod, drink the water, and return the cup to him.

I don’t dare to look into his eyes, the guilt eating me as I keep my head lowered.

MC: I… I just wanted to go to the office and then return to the hospital…

Lucien releases a long sigh.

Lucien: You always say you’ll take care of yourself and not worry me… When exactly can I stop worrying about you?

The way he says the second sentence is as though he is confused and doubting himself.

MC: I’m sorry that I’m always making you worry and for going back on my word… But this time, I definitely have to go to the office.

I look at Lucien and say this with complete resolution.

Lucien lets me sit down, lowers himself, and lifts his head to face me.

Lucien: Can you tell me why?

MC explains the importance of being there for the sake of ensuring the film has no issues, and to make the people around her proud.

Lucien: You think that is enough to ease my worries?

He exudes an unfamiliar aura, different from the gentleness that I am used to.

Lucien: I’m the advisor of your programme, so I can take your place instead. Or do you not trust me?

MC: That’s not it. I trust that you can settle the problem. But… I want to rely on myself this time!

I resolutely say what is in my heart, and meet Lucien’s gaze without hesitation.

Lucien: The doctor told me that you still need to be kept under observation for one day. If you still want to go, I won’t stop you.

I stare into his unreadable eyes, think about the situation at the studio, and make a decision.

MC: I want to go.

As though he didn’t expect that I would remain steadfast in my decision, a flash of astonishment crosses his eyes as he slowly releases his hold on my hand.

He stands up, putting some distance between us.

I steady myself, ignoring the pain in my abdomen, and walk out of the ward.

Lucien follows me from behind, maintaining a distance between us. I secretly sneak a peek behind me, and can only see his calm expression and his lips pressed together tightly.

When I turn back, someone knocks into me.

MC: I’m sorry I’m sorry…

I hold on to the railing, apologizing profusely. Lucien stands behind me, silently watching.

In the past, Lucien would have pulled me aside to prevent this from happening. Today, he doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction. He must be really angry with me…

A bitter sensation arises in my chest. Even when faced with difficulties in work, I’ve never experienced such a feeling before.

Thinking about this, I speed up my footsteps.

The footsteps behind me follow suit. In a corner without sunlight, he grips my wrist.

I bite my lips and not turn back.

With a long sigh, Lucien stands in front of me.

Lucien: Don’t walk so quickly.

For some unfathomable reason, when I hear this, there is a sour taste in my mouth.

Lucien: I’ll send you there.

He takes off his outercoat and places it over me. It’s a warmth I am used to, yet it feels a little foreign.

I want to get close to him, but Lucien maintains a distance between us.

MC resolves the issue at work, and notices Lucien talking to the external producer. By the time she’s done, it’s already dark.

Lucien remains by my side, but is completely silent.

It’s usually a short route home, but it seems like an inordinate amount of time passes before I finally reach my door.

MC: Today-

Lucien: It’s late, rest early. Goodnight.

Only for a second, Lucien’s lips curl into a smile. He turns to leave.

Looking at his retreating form, I feel an indescribable emotion.

When did the distance between us feel like a gigantic chasm?

I want to muster my courage to run forward, just like in the past, hold Lucien’s hand, and say “thank you” and “I’m sorry.”

But I am deterred by the indifferent expression I saw when we were in the hospital corridor.

Even after he disappears through the door, I am unable to take a single step.

This is the fifth day that Lucien and I have had no communication. I can feel him putting deliberate distance between us.

I turn on my phone, looking through my chats. The last message sent was on that night.

The message reads: I’m sorry for worrying you today.

It sits in my chat list without a response.

I keep turning my phone on, then turning it off.

This is the first time I want to reach out, but I don’t dare to do it.

There are sounds coming from outside the window. MC goes to the balcony and sees the sky filled with fireworks.

MC: It’s already the firework festival… I even planned to go see them with Lucien…

I never thought that the day would come and I’d be watching them alone.

I suddenly recall something. I run into the study room and retrieve two tickets to the firework festival from within a book.

MC: I even secretly bought them as a surprise…

It’d have been great if I didn’t make him angry or made up with him.

I turn around. A building blocks my view of the fireworks, and I can only see them as they dissipate into the night.

By the time I come to my senses, I’ve already put on a jacket, gripping onto the tickets, and standing at my door.

Even before I knock at Lucien’s door, the phone in my hand starts ringing. It’s Lucien.

Lucien: MC, are you at the balcony?

His voice is a little faint, and I nod my head hurriedly, running to the balcony.

MC: Yeah, yeah. You-

When I step onto the balcony, I am frozen to the spot. The tickets in my hand fall to the ground without a sound.

Our balconies separated by a mere metre, I see Lucien holding a stick of fireworks with a small smile towards me.

A gentle breeze tousles through his hair, clothes. His eyes are illuminated by the starlight.

It feels like a beautiful and faraway dream.

Tears spill from my eyes. The more they fall, the worse my crying becomes.

I hear footsteps. In a second, I am wrapped in his arms, and he holds me as though he would never let go ever again.

Lucien: Don’t cry.

Hearing his voice, the day’s sadness, worry, and conflicting emotions are mixed into my tears as they continue flowing.

Lucien holds onto my face, gently wiping the pearly droplets away.

Is this a hallucination? In the night, it looks like his eyes are tinged slightly red.

Lucien: I’m sorry. I don’t have anything for your tears. So… don’t cry.

I try my best to suppress my tears, nodding my head vigorously.

MC: I’m s-sorry, it’s my fault. I just keep thinking… that I can’t keep relying on you, that I don’t want to disappoint the people around me, and yet I keep hurting them…

Lucien presses his forehead to mine, his eyes full of emotions, as though he wants to lock me within them.

I’ve never seen him in such a state of regret.

Lucien: It’s not your fault. You did very well. I’m the one who didn’t.

He closes his eyes, his fingers gently massaging my face.

Lucien: Silly, you’re not the one relying on me. I’m the one relying on you. Don’t cry anymore. You can be angry with me all you want, okay?

I wipe my tears and take in deep breaths.

MC: No more anger. Let’s both not be angry anymore.

Lucien: Mm, no more. Not even in the future.

I close my eyes, leaning my forehead onto his. In this moment, my heart, which was in a state of chaos before, finally settles.

Lucien: I’m sorry for being late.

A magnificent firework blooms in the sky along with Lucien’s voice.

I shake my head, looking into his eyes with a serious expression.

MC: It’s all right, I don’t feel like going to the firework festival anymore.

Lucien: Hm?

MC: We have this!

I lift up the sparklers in Lucien’s hands, my eyes crinkling upwards into a smile.

Lucien gently wipes the tear streaks off my face, and holds my hand.

Lucien: They are all yours.

MC: That’s wonderful, this shall be our firework festival!

Lucien takes out a lighter, setting a sparkler alight.

The tiny, bright, star-like fire light is within reach.

I lift my head to look at Lucien, and then at the sparkler. My heart is energized by joy and contentedness.

Lucien: Do you like sparklers this much?

MC: Yes! Don’t you think they look like stars? We can even touch them.

Lucien laughs, taking out another stick. Pressing it to the tip of mine, the little light travels over to his stick.

Just like this, we keep the flame alight with the other sparklers, happy and amused.

Lucien: Right now, we have the entire starry sky.

I wave the sparklers in my hands happily.

One stick, two sticks, three sticks… like shooting starts that have fallen onto the balcony.

The small sounds from the sparklers are covered by the larger fireworks in the distance.

The small starlight in our hands cannot be compared to the light produced by the fireworks at our backs.

But, we are truly happy.

Lucien: Be careful, don’t get it on your clothes.

MC: I’m not afraid!

I laugh, handing my firework stick to him.

Lucien pauses for a long time, then suddenly takes both of my hands, pulling me into his arms.

MC: Be careful, your clothes!

Lucien: I’m not afraid either.

MC: Not afraid of even this?

I boldly embrace him. Lucien laughs, encasing me even more tightly.

I seem to have fallen into his trap. I think for a moment-

MC: Ahh, the flame has really gotten onto your shirt…

Lucien: At most, you can just pay me back.

MC: How does that even work…

I flush and try to escape, but am afraid that the flame would really get onto his shirt, so I remain in place.

Our heartbeats resound in the surroundings.

Lucien lets go of me, pinching my nose.

Lucien: If you like it, we can do this frequently next time.

I ponder for a moment, then shake my head.

MC: We can’t do that, or else today would no longer be precious.

A gentle wind blows by, and another firework blooms behind us. The flickering stars are reflected his eyes.

Lucien: … Silly.

A little tired, I half-lean into Lucien��s arms, holding on to one firework stick.

Lucien’s chest is pressed against my back, his chin lightly propped on the top of my head. He takes both me and the tiny firework into his arms.

This small area has become our entire world.

MC: Lucien, our film has already finished. I want to invite you to the screening the day after tomorrow.

Lucien: Why?

MC: Because no matter how it turns out, I want to share it with you. I want to make you proud.

Lucien’s chin slides to the side of my cheek, and his touch carries with it his unique scent.

Lucien: All right. Do you know that you’ve already made me very proud?

MC: What if I fail?

Lucien: Even if you fail, you are still you. Don’t shoulder all the stress by yourself.

MC: Mm… But if the result turns out bad, I might cry really badly.

Lucien: Then I’d have to help this cry baby wipe her tears, hold her hand, and bring her home.

I burst out laughing. This is Lucien, the Lucien I am most familiar with, and the most genuine Lucien.

MC: That day, I saw you talking to the external producer. What were you two discussing?

Lucien: I told him that this fledgling would leave an indelible mark on this programme’s history.

He says this with certainty and seriousness.

So he was already helping me back then… and I still thought he was angry…

I bury my head in Lucien’s chest, and mutter…

MC: Lucien, can I take back what I just said?

Lucien: And that is?

MC: In future, let’s play with sparklers every six months.

Lucien: All right.

The flame from the sparkler in my hand finally extinguishes.

On the balcony, Lucien hugs the girl tightly.

He hugs the only ray of light in the dark expanse of night.

There are still glimmers of light in Lucien’s pupils from the girl’s lively face.

He recalls his cruelty in the hospital corridor.

He recalls the anxiety-ridden life he led over the past five days.

And right now, he quietly enjoys a rare instance of life’s peacefulness.

Since he has decided to protect this girl’s innocence, he would not force her to grow up.

He will set them aside - those plans that have already taken form.

This time, he has decided to temporarily halt his footsteps.

Until his rose is sufficiently independent and strong.

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #clutches heart #the more I read Lucien’s dates the less I understand him #cncancelled

171 notes · View notes