#sorry I went so insane tonight everyone! it's the night before my VERY LAST TEST of the year and I'm A LITTLE STRESSED OUT.

[brown-little-robin]

in conclusion, I want this tiny angy kitten to be forcibly cuddled, please and thank you.

[norarigby]

Sway

Pairing: Atsumu x reader

Warnings: fluff, slightly suggestive themes at the end.

Word count: 2k

A/n: I’m actually really proud of this one...I hope it makes sense 😅

It takes two to tango. The dance has to be reciprocated between two people. Each member must contribute to the dance, otherwise it looked ridiculous. Imagine that: a tango with one person standing their while the other gives their all. It’d be ridiculous, silly to watch. So it takes two to tango.

Right?

At least, that’s what you tell yourself as you down your second glass of wine that night. You really didn’t have anything to worry about. It was a night to celebrate! Your boys had claimed silver in volleyball for Japan in the Olympics. And since at least of half of the starting lineup came from the MSBY Black Jackals, you had been invited to help manage the team. In all honesty, the boys seemed more excited than you.

The Olympics had been an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs, but in the end, you were proud. They had worked hard and to celebrate, had come to a nice restaurant, that Osamu had recommended, to celebrate.

You looked up from your menu to where the man himself was making recommendations to everyone at the table. Speaking to deaf ears, he described some complex dishes and their contents to Hinata and Bokuto. They were really trying to listen, but both were still riding their high from the game. That or they had already begun to crash. You chuckled into your glass as you sipped your third glass.

“Unless you’re planning on being tipsy before we even get our food, maybe slow down on the wine?” a voice from your left spoke.

You glanced over to two russet eyes gleaming at you, brimming with mischief. You rolled your eyes, “I can hold my own, thank you very much. Besides, what do you care if I get a little tipsy? We’re here to celebrate,” You flicked his chest, “Loosen up a bit, ‘Tsumu.”

Atsumu placed his hand on his chest in mock hurt, “Hey, I just don’t want to have to take care of your sorry ass if you get drunk. And I am plenty loose,” He held his own drink up as evidence. “See?”

You just responded with another chuckle and returned to your drink and menu.

So the dance had begun.

Atsumu came into your life about a year, year and a half ago. Freshly graduated from university, you were able to land a job as a team manager for the Black Jackals. Not exactly what you were picturing as your future, but hey, it’s a start. And from the moment you saw Atsumu, it was hate at first sight. Seriously. The guy radiated douchebag energy. And the first time he opened his mouth confirmed that.

Regardless of your attempts to interact with him as little as possible, his attempts to get closer were too persistence and you two became close. There had been many a late nights, after practice or otherwise, where a simple text would lead to some insane adventure with him. Long conversations in his car or on your balcony, binge watching a new series, or just even when either needed another person. Your friendship with Atsumu was something you cherished.

So when you realized you had caught feelings, you began your elaborate dance of trying to balance both. On one hand, you wanted to keep what you had. On the other, you wanted more. But even if you could read him in every other situation, you had no idea if he felt the same.

Hence, you’re weird tango with the pro-volleyball player, Miya Atsumu.

Each time you made a forward remark or moved to touch him on his shoulder or arm or even brush hands? It was like cautious movements, testing the beat of the music and always looking to the other person for cues. Back and forth, this dance had been going on for at least the past eight months or so. You didn’t have the courage to take that step forward—and if he felt the same, it seemed he didn’t either. So you both were at a stand still.

The third glass went down and you tried to shake off your overthinking tendencies. What will be will be, and you were here to celebrate! Take a slice out of your own advice and loosen up! You smiled and joined in a conversation that Iwaizumi was having with Sakusa.

Everyone ordered their food and it came out soon after. The rest of the meal went by fine. The table reminiscing and exchanging stories and laughter. They were oblivious to yours and Atsumu’s brief touches, stolen glances, and whispered jokes and comments made about what was going on around you two. You felt more warm with each contact and hushed word spoken—and the wine settling into your system was not helping.

By the end of the meal it had become too much. You turned to Iwaizumi and asked him to pay for you, promising to Venmo him later. When asked what’s wrong, you flushed red and came up with a weak excuse about being a little too tipsy and wanting to turn in early. You slung your purse around your shoulder and bid everyone a good night, not daring to look at Atsumu.

You rushed outside, thankful for the slight drop in temperature. It was warm, but not unbearable. Slapping your hands against your cheeks, you tried to shake off your anxiety from tonight. It had all become too much, too fast. You could deal with that in the morning, but for now, you should try to get back and take a warm bath.

“Hey, are you alright?”

A slight sway to the music. A move that required a response.

“I’m, uh, yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

A hesitant step.

“Y/n, you look like a tomato. How much did you drink tonight?”

A step more confident than the last. Not quite one that requires an intimate move, but a bold one nonetheless.

“Not much. I’m just going to head back; call it a night.”

Turning to him stopped you in your tracks. You had more to say. Something about reassuring him and telling him to go back inside to enjoy himself. But his eyes, those eyes! They held such a loving gaze so full of sincerity and concern that you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything else.

A moment passed. Then another.

Finally, he spoke, “Then I’ll take you back.” Past his eyes, you couldn’t read the rest of him. His body moving out of sync with the music. It was strange and foreign, unreadable.

No, I’m fine. Go back inside. “Okay.”

He led you to his car and to say the tension could be cut with a knife was an understatement. That tension weighed heavy on the short car ride. It suspended the music and made both of you terrified to disturb the silence.

Atsumu parked in front of the building and got out to walk with you. No, your head was screaming at you, Tell him not to walk you to your room. Too afraid to usurp the quiet, you held your tongue and let him walk you to the elevator, take the elevator with you, and walk you to your room. All in the loudest silence you’d ever heard.

Reaching you door, you were at a loss for words. Do you invite him in? Confess everything that you’d been feeling all night? Give him a curt goodnight and turn him away? You deemed the latter option the best, planning on thanking him, wishing him a goodnight, than swiftly enter your room.

You fished the card out of your pocket and held it up, “Well, this is me.” But you remained, unmoved. Possibly curious as to what he was going to say or do. Wondering why he was staring at you so intensely. This was different than the look he was giving you in the front of the restaurant. And why was he so close? You could feel his hot breath on your nose and it sent chills down your back.

Slowly, he grabbed the card out of your hand and unlocked your door. Still staring at you, he opened the door. You took a tentative step back into the room and he took one to counter. The music still held its breath, these were just pickups, a set up for the rest of the dance.

This continued until you were both in your room, the door closed. Your back was pressed against the wall adjacent to the closed door and Atsumu had once again closed the gap so you could feel his breath on your face.

“Atsumu~”

“Y/n, I want this, I want you. I have ever since I first met you. I want you, y/n. And I know that what I want would ruin our friendship and so I waited. I waited and waited and tried to be patient but I’m tired of waiting.” Atsumu searched your eyes for a confirmation to a question he really hadn’t asked. “But I’ll continue to be patient if that’s what you want. I’ll walk out that door right now and we can pretend like this never happened.”

Taking a bold move, you reached up and brushed your fingers across his cheek. His eyes briefly stopped searching yours so he could revel in the contact and lean into it.

“But I don’t think that’s what you want.” He opened his eyes, his intense look continuing its search.

A million things rushed through your head, excuses, explanations, anything. Your head was swimming and your heart was pounding and the music still held its breath. So in a split decision, fueled by a combination of liquid courage and adrenaline, you grabbed his collar and kissed him.

Immediately, he put his hands on your waist and pulled you closer. Atsumu was warm and sure, oh so sure. He always had been. His presence was always comforting, and this intimate moment reaffirmed that.

You pulled back, breathless. It was your turn to search his eyes. You searched and searched for any sign that would tell you that he’s lying. That he doesn’t want this as much as you, that you’ll just be another prize on his shelf. But all you saw was the same loving gaze that told that he did want this as much as you, maybe even more.

You lightly drew your thumb over his bottom lip, “I want you, Atsumu. I want you and I don’t care if it ruins what we have as long as I get to have you.”

His lips cracked into a huge smile and you decided that it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. He kissed you again and again, smiling through each one.

When he stopped his barrage, you couldn’t stop smiling like a giddy school girl, “So, what happens now?”

“Hmm, well I have some ideas.” He lifted up your shirt slightly and leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Only if you’re up to them, of course.”

Your grip on his collar tightened, but your voice remained cool and collected, “You know I’m always up for your ideas.”

He smiled and pecked your lips once more before picking you up and placing you on the bed.

In the morning, golden light rested on Atsumu’s face, making him look ethereal in the morning glow. A sleepy smile stretched across your face as you kissed his lower jaw.

It takes two to tango. And even if the dance is over, shrouding the future in uncertainty, for now, life was perfect.

(Posted November 26, 2020, 02:30PM MST)

(Updated December 18, 2020, 11:22PM MST)

[julyarchives]

Halloween Party || (M)

At a halloween party, you had let your insecurities take the best of you, but Yuto showed you that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

→ Pairing: Yuto x Reader

→ Genre: smut

→ Words:  1.6K

→ Contains: chubby reader; Halloween themes; costumes; slightly angst.

→ A/n: So, this is one of the stories we prepared for you this Halloween! We hope you enjoy it!

It was close to the end of October and you and your friends decided to throw a Halloween party at their house. Somehow you got convinced to use a very revealing tight fit devil costume that consisted only of a skirt and crop top with a knee high boot, not to mention the classical red fork and horns. You felt insecure at first, given that your body is far away from korean’s petit beauty standard, but as you got there and everyone was in their own costumes just having fun, you shrugged off your insecurities. The weather was nice and you just wanted to have fun and enjoy yourself freely.

No one seemed to mind, besides Yuto. He got really weird with you, avoiding looking at you all night. It first upsetted you because he was the one you considered your best friend. Your crush on him made things harder to ignore how he was treating you tonight. He was usually very sweet but today he was ignoring your presence almost completely.

After hours of partying you managed to find Yuto alone, sulking into his drink. You tried to approach him but you could barely mutter "hi" before he put his cup down and took his cape off of his vampire costume and handed it to you.

“You should cover up” he said coldly, barely looking at you.

Your heart sank. You never felt more ashamed of your body, it hurted more that it came from someone you have been struggling to admit you had feelings for. But now you knew that he wouldn’t want anything with someone like you. You put on his cape and it fitted you shortly, barely covering your bottom. Yuto looked at you up and down before turning his back and walking away from you.

You tried to follow the party as nothing had happened, but you couldn’t avoid feeling bad all night long, and honestly the mood was kind of ruined for you. You went to hide in the kitchen, the costume prop long forgotten on a couch, just wanting to be alone, but you encountered him again. When he saw you he tried to leave again, but this time you were convinced that you had to confront him.

“Yuto!” You called him and he stopped on his track, turning around to face you.

You two just stared at each other as you gathered up courage to speak up.

“I know my body is not what you are used to seeing, but not everyone is skinny, you know? You don’t have to act so grossed out.” you were on the verge of tears, voice cracking as you spoke. “I’m not ashamed of being fat, and you just have to…”

“You look sexy” he murmured quietly, and you almost missed out on it.

“What?” You were caught off guard.

“I’m not grossed out” he looked down, biting his lip “I think you look very sexy.”

“I don’t get it, why did you tell me to cover up then?” you were not sure if you believed him or not.

You sat up on the kitchen counter, waiting for his answer, and he leaned against it by your side, shoulders almost touching yours.

“Everyone was staring at you, and I just felt jealous. I didn’t want them to look at you that way” he answered, still looking down.

“But then even after I put on the cape, you were still avoiding me.”

“That made you look sexier.” he murmured again. “I just can’t look at you without wanting to…”

He stopped himself, leaving you waiting for it with anticipation.

“Wanting to...?” You asked, touching his shoulder.

He looked straight into your eyes before speaking,

“To grab you and kiss you”

Your eyes widened in surprise for a second, but you knew how to respond quickly. You just couldn't let this slide.

“I don’t see anyone stopping you.” You shrugged, biting your lip in a smirk.

His eyes darkened as he stood up and positioned himself in between your legs. He cautiously placed his hands on your thighs as you snaked your arms around his neck. 

He moved his face closer and his hands up your body, holding on your curvy waist and lightly squeezing it. You look in his eyes then at his lips one more time before ending the distance between you two.

He kissed you urgently, showing that he wanted to do this for a long time. It started shy at first, just testing his boundaries, but it quickly turned urgent as you two just couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. You hooked your legs around his waist, pulling him against your body while his hand explored your exposed skin. His kiss was firm and intense and it was so pleasant how well it matched his entire personality.

He had to pull away for air, but you didn’t feel like stopping right there so you just trailed hot wet kissed down his neck, grinning victoriously when he grunted in your ear after you moved your hips to just slightly rub against his.

“Bedroom?” was all he managed to say, his voice sounding even deeper, sending shivers down your spine.

You nodded, hopping off the counter and growing confident enough to grab his hand and guide him. As soon as you closed the door behind you, he backed you up against it, strong hands grabbing your waist and pulling you close as he engaged another hungry kiss and  didn’t waste time pulling your crop top off. He pulled you against him, stepping back until finding the bed and sitting down with you straddling him.

He started trailing kisses down your neck and chest, and you were pretty sure he was leaving purple spots along your skin, and you took the chance to explore his toned back. He swiftly unhooked your bra and eagerly caught your nipple in between his lips, toying with the other one with his fingers.

You inevitably let small moans escape from you, and it encouraged him to grip you harder. You tugged the hair on the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss again as you worked your hips against his crotch.

Slipping your hand down his body, you palmed his hard member through his pants, earning low groans out of him.His satin long sleeve was a nuisance as you tried to reach his muscular chest and he noticed. Yuto took no time in taking off his costume, you got up with him to take off your skirt and boots.

He sat down in only his boxers and reached out for you. He nuzzled your chest as he grabbed your thighs and ass. You moaned at the feeling and pulled his hair to drag him to a kiss again.

"It was a shame to see that outfit go but you look way better like this", he said. That turned into a groan when you sat on him again, grinding rather fast. 

You always imagined him being a slow and intense lover but the reality was way better. The way he was so into it, laying you down under him and taking your last piece of clothing fast, admiring you before teasing you with fast movements of his fingers at your entrance, made you whine loudly with want. 

It was your turn to sit up and tug at his underwear, Yuto not even minding your despair, his feelings matching yours. So as he swiftly entered you, your moans sounding loud even with the party music still going, it didn't take long before you two found a rhythm. 

His usual quiet demeanor gave space to so much praise that you felt your heart swelling with affection. His words were a fuel to the fire he was setting on your body with his sharp hard thrusts. His body felt heavenly on you and you almost laughed at the thought of dressing like a devil to feel this way. 

Yuto kept grunting and praising you, saying how your body drove him insane with want, how he watched every curve on you as you danced. His hands were everywhere too, holding yours, pinching your nipples, grabbing your thighs. 

His passion was matched by yours and you could only feel sorry for his back later when you scratched it over and over with how good he was moving inside of you, your hips moving up to meet his thrusts halfway. 

It didn't take long before you were moaning even louder, legs shaking around him as you came, his name falling off your lips like a prayer. Yuto groaned into your neck, biting lightly as he followed you to his own orgasm, hips moving erratically. 

As you both came down from your high, he laid down besides you and quickly hugged you to him, your face in the crook of his neck. Your hands found his arm and back, holding onto him as you took a moment to understand what just happened.

"I'm sorry you got me wrong earlier", he said, voice muffled by your hair, "I didn't mean to hurt you". 

"It's okay. Now that I understand, it's fine. Just don't scare me like that anymore", you answered, pulling back to watch him. 

"I mean, it is Halloween…", he said seriously, making you smile.

"Damn, I should have kept on the horns then". You two laughed.

Just then, the door busted open followed by your closest friends from his group shouting,

"Happy Halloween!" 

And the way Yuto ran to cover you both with his cape and all the gasps you heard, you knew it was a spooky moment indeed. 

[jalapeno-princess]

We’re Not Just Friends

He’s so cute what the fuck

Best friend Mark X Reader

Genre: College AU, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, THE FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF

Word Count: 10.7K

Summary: You and Mark have been friends for as long as you could remember. The two of you were like magnets; wherever you went, he’d follow and vice versa. With that being said, you did what you thought was one of the best yet biggest mistakes you could ever do in a friendship, you fell in love with your best friend. There were times where you felt as if he reciprocated your feelings, but you ultimately pushed any idea of being more than just friends with him. That all changes one night when he gets drunk and admits a little too much information you weren’t quite ready for.

A/N: Hey guys, so I was in Marshall’s the other day when the song “Friends don’t” by Maddie and Tae came on (I highly recommend you listen to it while reading this I make quite a few references to the song in this story) and I couldn’t stop putting ideas together while shopping (I actually pulled to the side to brainstorm I actually hate myself). With that being said, this is one of my favorite stories I’ve written so far and I hope you all enjoy it!

They don't cancel other plans Have conversations with nothing but their eyes They don't hear each other's names and forget to concentrate Hits a nerve and lights you up like dynamite

Friends don't call you in the middle of the night Couldn't even tell you why They just felt like saying "hi" Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys Finding reasons not to leave Trying to hide the chemistry Drive a little too slow, take the long way home Get a little too close We do, but friends don't

As a junior in college, sleep was a foreign word to you. You’ve been getting at least three hours of sleep this week since you’ve been preparing for finals; so you savored every minute of slumber you could get. Tonight was the first night you allowed yourself a break from studying and you were going to make the most of it by sleeping in. 

When you felt your phone vibrate, you couldn’t help but groan at the idea of your alarm going off; but it occurred to you that you turned off all your alerts for the day in order to get some well deserved rest. A huge part of you, the one that’s been dying to continue dancing around in dreamland wanted to ignore whoever was trying to get in touch with you. They could wait until the morning to talk to you. However, there was only one person who would dare to wake you up in the middle of the night and it was the same person, the only person you didn’t mind taking you away from your dreams. 

Once you took a look at his caller ID, you released a frustrated sigh but the smirk that rose on your face at the idea of him was very contradicting. “You better have a good reason for waking me up Mark. What is it?” The phone was silent for a few moments and you had a hunch that he was feeling remorseful for waking you up knowing how tired you’ve been from all the all nighters. 

“Hey y/n. Did I wake you? I’m sorry about that.” Although he had an apologetic tone in his voice, you’ve know him long enough to know that he wasn’t the least bit sorry. Mark never did anything he would have to apologize for. Plus, you could hear the glint in his voice and it made you smile softly to yourself. 

“It’s fine. Are you okay? Did something happen? Where are you?” He giggled at your many questions and you could feel a blush rising on your cheeks at the sound. Mark Tuan in more or less words was the love of your life. You made the mistake of falling in love with your best friend and because you were afraid of him not reciprocating your feelings and losing him if he were to find out, you kept it to yourself. 

It was hard. You only fell more and more in love with him as the days went by. The two of you met in middle school when he accidentally hit you in the face with a volleyball. He was extremely apologetic and did not leave your side at all for the rest of the class time. Actually, he hasn’t left your side at all since that fateful day in P.E. but you weren’t complaining. Mark was everything you could’ve asked for in a best friend and more. 

Although everyone in your grade knew him to be extremely shy and timid, he was a completely different person whenever he was around you and you were very happy to be the lucky person that got to see his outspoken and overly energetic side to him. He was smart; he had one of the top grades in the entire school. He was quite the joker, even if a lot of the jokes he told were extremely cheesy and sometimes did not make sense. He was athletic; joined any sport that your school offered and was captain of the baseball, soccer and water polo teams. Plus, he was a sight for sore eyes. 

Sure, you’ve seen quite the amount of cute boys in your three years of college, but Mark was a sight to behold. Standing at 5”9 with the prettiest brown eyes you’ve ever seen, a well-defined jaw line, sharp nose, and the most adorable heart shaped lips, you knew he was God’s favorite. Sometimes you didn’t understand why he was wasting his time being friends with you. He was such an intelligent, overly talented and interesting person. All the guys at your college wanted to either be him or be friends with him and a lot the girls wanted to date him. They made it quite obvious that they envied you for being the lucky girl Mark spent most of his time with but you couldn’t blame them, he was perfect. 

As much as you loved being his friend, your stupid and naive heart craved to be more. You wanted to be the one to hold his hand, the one to kiss his pretty pink lips, the one to hold him and be held by him. You wanted him to see you as more than just his friend; although, there were times when you did question his feelings for you. As a communications major, you were very good when it came to observing people; Mark being your number one test subject or so you called him. 

You were quick to pick up on how he always needed to be touching you, whether it be slinging his arm over your shoulder when the two of you would watch a movie, tapping gently on your thigh whenever you’d go for a drive, pulling you to his side and tightly gripping on to your waist in a crowded area or sitting in between your lap while he played video games. He explained to you once that your presence made him calm and the skin ship was because he needed “evidence that you were real”. The dreamer in you wished that his gestures and not so subtle touches meant more than what he claimed to be. 

Then came the stolen glances. You’d catch him from time to time staring at you at the most randomest times. You noticed he looked at you a lot when you’d be studying or while you were eating and that’s when you felt the least amount of attractive so you were sure it was because he thought you looked funny. 

There was once time that you slept over at his apartment and you fell asleep on the couch while the two of you watched stranger things. When you woke up, you were quick to realize that he probably carried you to his room like he normally did. As soon as your eyes adjusted to your surroundings, you saw Mark already looking at you with a specific look in his eyes. It was a mix of adoration and something else you couldn’t put your finger on. He’s never looked at you like that before and when he realized you were awake, he immediately closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. Neither of you talked about that incident and he acted completely weird the next morning but things settled down not too long after. 

Another thing that you noticed, was his jealousy. Mark could get extremely jealous whenever it came to you. If he saw any guy get a little too close for his liking, even if it was one of your mutual friends, he’d go insane. One thing you could do without was his anger. When Mark got angry, he got really angry. You never understood why he would get upset at the idea of you interacting with another guy, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it. There was one time the two of you attended a hotel party and got yourselves stuck playing spin the bottle. When you spun the bottle and it landed on Jinyoung, you didn’t think much about it and crawled over to him, leaving a chaste yet sweet kiss on his lips. You didn’t think it would cause Mark to give you the silent treatment for three days and when he finally did talk to you again, he gave you a lame excuse as to why he acted like such an asshole. 

You weren’t stupid, with the way he looked at you and treated you as if you were the most delicate flower, you knew he had to have some sort of feelings for you. You just had a hard time understanding why he was so adamant on keeping it to himself. If he did have feelings for you, you felt as if he was keeping it a secret from you for the same reason you were keeping it from him; he didn’t want to lose you. 

“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I just couldn’t sleep. I should’ve played cod or something instead of bothering you. I knew you took the day off tomorrow for rest. I just—I want to talk to you. It’s been a week since we saw each other. I miss you.” The last words came out as a whisper, but you heard them and your heart fluttered at the thought of him wanting to talk to you because he missed you. Why did he have to do and say things that confused you? He told everyone that the two of you were just friends, but behind closed doors the two of you were in your own little worlds. As if nobody else existed and you liked it that way. 

“I miss you too. I promise once finals are over, I’m all yours okay? I’m sorry I’m putting all my time and effort in to school but you know how anal I get when it comes to my grades.” He giggled softly and although you couldn’t see him, you knew he was playfully rolling his eyes because it was true. See unlike Mark, you actually had to put in effort whenever it came to your education. He was naturally smart and you found it quite unfair but he never failed to help you if and when you needed it but you never wanted to bother him. He already had a lot on his plate and you didn’t want to add your incompetence to his already hectic schedule. 

“It’s fine. Do you—would you maybe wanna go for a drive? I’ll come pick you up. We don’t have to go anywhere far, honestly we could go on a drive around your block and I’ll drop you back. I just—I’d like to spend time with you.” You were glad he stuck with a phone call and didn’t try to FaceTime you because it would’ve been quite obvious his words were having an affect on you. Something felt off with the way he was acting. There were times where the two of you would go weeks without seeing one another and he was completely fine about it. 

One time, he went to Taiwan for an entire month to visit his family over summer vacation and you missed him dearly. That was the longest you went without seeing him, but he contacted you every single day so it made you feel a little bit better. So why was he wanting to see you so badly? 

“Yeah sure. Give me ten minutes. I’ll see you soon. Drive safely.” As soon as you heard him hang up, you practically leaped out of bed and ran straight to your bathroom. Mark has seen you at both your best and your very worst. He made it known that he didn’t care if you looked like an actual ogre, nor did you want to make it obvious that you wanted to look nice for him but you didn’t want him seeing you with your hair all over the place while your breath smelled horrendous. 

You threw on one of his jackets and a pair of shorts while flat ironing your hair and before you knew it, he texted you that he was downstairs. Once you made it down to the lobby, your breath hitched at the sight of him and all his handsome glory. His hair was disheveled; it was obvious he ran his hand through it a couple times. He was leaning against his pick up truck and although it was dark, you could make out that he was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants with a white tank top. You silently cursed him for going to the gym more often in his downtime because his arms grew three times the size they were back in high school. When his eyes landed on your visibly exhausted frame, he sent a cheeky smile your way before opening his arms out to you. 

“Mmm, I’ve missed your hugs.” He pulled you closer to his chest and placed his chin on top of your head. The two of you stood there for a couple of seconds before he pulled away to take a good look at you. If you had the choice, you’d allow him to hold you for the rest of the night. Mark’s arms were your favorite place to be. You always felt so safe in his embrace. He was always so warm and smelled like the cologne you bought him that he’s been looking at for a few months. 

“You know y/n, once finals are over I think you need to sleep for a solid two months straight. These dark circles are taking away from your beauty.” He brought his hands up to your cheeks and began to examine your entire face but you were quick to shove him off. If he continued to caress you like the way he was currently doing, you were sure you’d blow your cover and you did not want the night to end before it even started. Although he’s complimented you on your looks many times in the many years you’ve known him for, you could never get used to hearing him tell you how pretty he thought you were. 

“You’re one to talk grandpa. BamBam told me all about how you almost broke your back the other day when you attempted to do a martial art trick. How many times do I have to remind you that you’re no longer the fifteen-year-old boy that you used to be? I swear to God Mark Tuan if you break a bone, I will kick your ass.” His laughter filled the entire parking lot and you found yourself laughing along with him. For a grown man, his laugh was high pitched and very adorable. You were sure he could light up an entire room by letting out the faintest of giggles, his laughter already did wonders on your heart. 

“Even if I do break a bone, you’ll nurse me back to health right?” You scoffed and playfully rolled your eyes but deep down you knew you’d do anything for the devastatingly handsome boy in front of you. You also wouldn’t mind having a reason to stay by his side for as long as possible. Like the gentleman he was, he opened your door for you and helped you buckle your seatbelt. You were sure he saw it as a friendly gesture and you knew he wanted to help you out as much as possible, but you couldn’t handle him bringing his hand across of your chest and down to your upper thigh. It’s as if he knew exactly what he was doing by helping you. 

When he got in to his side of the car and started to reverse out of the stall, his free hand immediately found your lap like it normally did and he began to drive away. To where, you didn’t know nor did you care. You didn’t care where the two of you went, you just loved being around him. The car ride was filled with laughter, mainly yours because Mark turned the radio to the country station and began singing a couple songs out of tune and in the worst country accent you’ve ever heard. 

It was in moments like these where it was just the two of you, laughing and smiling like idiots that made you feel the most unhappy. You were unhappy because you wanted more. You wanted to be the reason behind his contagious smile. You wanted to be the reason he couldn’t go to sleep at night because his thoughts were so clouded by the idea of you. You wanted to be his motivation; you wanted him to do the best in anything that he did with the idea of making you proud. You wanted to be the one he told his friends and family about. But you were only his best friend. Every time he introduced you as his best friend, it felt like a stab to the chest. However, it was the truth; so you had no reason to be bothered by the fact that that was all you were going to be to him. 

“Something wrong bub?” You were too busy thinking about the unfortunate situation you were in and didn’t get to hear Mark ask you if you wanted something to eat. 

“No, I’m okay. Sorry, it’s just—finals. Yeah. I can’t stop thinking about my possible grades. I’m sorry, I’ll stop. Tonight is about us. What were you saying?” He waited till he pulled up at a stoplight before turning to face you and brought some of your hair behind your ear. 

“Hey, don’t stress too much. I’m sure you did amazing like you always do. If only you allowed me to tutor you more, I’m sure you would’ve had an easier time understanding the material. What? Am I not good enough for the all mighty y/n y/l/n? By the way, I decided with going to McDonalds since you didn’t answer. I’m in the mood for a McChicken—don’t look at me like that. What? Come on y/n—where do you want to go then? You drive me nuts woman. Popeyes? You’re in the mood for fried chicken? At 2:30 in the morning? Why can I already see you wanting fried chicken when you’re pregnant one day? I feel like it’ll be one of the foods you’ll crave the most. You know I’d do anything for you and I can’t wait till you become a mother, I’m sure you’ll be such an amazing mom. But don’t you dare wake me up in the middle of the night for fried chicken I will disown you. You’re lucky you’re cute. Their chicken sandwich better taste as good as McDonalds.” 

You knew you wanted Mark around for the rest of your life; you wanted to be best friends forever. Unfortunately, nobody knows what the future holds. For all you knew, he could get a girlfriend sometime soon and she could disapprove of your friendship; causing you to lose connection with one another. The idea of losing Mark was both mentally and physically painful. You could actually feel your chest tighten at the thought of waking up one morning and no longer having him in your life. With that being said, no matter how many times he’s brought up your future together, it always caused butterflies to swarm in your tummy. 

“I hate burdening you if I can handle doing something on my own. You already have so much to deal with, so tutoring me should be the least of your worries. Whatever you say asshole, I’m sure my future husband would be willing to do that for me and I’ll make sure I’ll rub it in your face. Dude, Popeyes shits on McDonalds. Are you joking? Why am I even friends with you, you’re such a loser with bad taste.” You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at the entire conversation, but as soon as you realized Mark wasn’t laughing, you turned to face him and froze when you saw his jaw clench and his grip on the wheel tightened. 

Did you say or do something to upset him? Why did he get mad all of a sudden? As you were about to speak up, he made his way through the Popeyes drive thru and began ordering. You smiled like an idiot to yourself when he gave your order to the cashier. Although you ordered the same meal almost every single time, you found it cute that he memorized what you wanted. Once he paid and got the food, he drove down an all too familiar road you’ve been down quite a few times. Both you and Mark had a special place only the two of you knew of. You stumbled upon it one day after getting in to an argument with your parents and ended up bringing Mark there a couple days later. The two of you would go there whenever you both had free time. It was a nice, deserted beach. 

During the day, it was extremely beautiful but at night, it was indescribable. Especially because you spent most of your time there with Mark. Some days, the two of you would swim, skip rocks or attempt to build sand castles. Other days, more so when you went at night, he would lie on your lap and have you run your fingers through his hair while the two of you would listen to the waves crash on the shore. You’d find yourself looking at him adoringly and there was one time you were so close to connecting your lips together, but you chickened out and clumsily ended up pushing him off of your lap. 

The car ride was tense and he didn’t say anything the entire time. You decided to allow him to speak up when he was ready. It was something you learned throughout the duration of your friendship. Mark was short tempered. He would lash out on people at the smallest of things, but you were very understanding and extremely patient whenever it came to his mood swings. He’s apologized for it many times and did his best to work on it because he hated lashing out on you of all people, but some days he just couldn’t help himself. As soon as he parked the car, he motioned for you to get out and made his way to his trunk. He immediately hopped in the back without helping you like he usually did and when he saw that you weren’t getting inside and that your arms were crossed in frustration, he let out an irritated grunt. 

“What? Get in here. Do I have to help you with everything?” It was your turn to scoff. How did he go from singing to the top of his lungs at a Carrie Underwood song to giving you the cold shoulder? 

“If you’re going to be an asshole for no reason, you can just take me home right now. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did or said to upset you but I’m sorry.” There were situations where Mark was in the wrong, but you’d find yourself apologizing because he was never one to give in. He was the definition of stubborn. However, you noticed that you were the only person that he’d give up his pride for. He hated the thought of upsetting you and putting the two of you in to an awkward situation. So he’d apologize as soon as he knew things were going south and tonight was no different. Right as you were about to open your door, you felt him gently grip at your wrist and before you knew it, he was picking you up bridal style before jumping on to his truck bed. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just being stupid. Please forget all about it okay? Fuck, I’ve ruined our night together didn’t I? I’m so sorry y/n.” You shook your head before leaving a quick peck on his cheek. Kissing each other was a normal thing between you and Mark. The two of you would kiss each other’s foreheads and cheeks all the time. Sometimes he’d even kiss your nose, your chin and even your shoulder blade but he had yet to kiss you where you wanted to kiss him the most. 

“Talk to me Mark. What’s bothering you?” You intertwined your fingers together and gave him your full attention. You knew something had to be heavy on his mind and you wanted him to be honest with you. He pulled his hands away from yours to your disappointment and scratched the back of his neck before taking a bite of his food. 

“Y/n I love—this chicken sandwich holy shit. This is good. I don’t know why I was settling for that pathetic excuse of a chicken patty at McDonalds. It’s nothing okay? Don’t worry about me. Eat your food, I know how you get when your chicken isn’t crispy and I don’t want you complaining later.” The two of you sat in silence eating your meals and you hated the fact that the atmosphere was filled with animosity. Once the two of you were both finished, he pulled you on to his lap and rested his chin in the crook of your neck.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” You shrugged before leaning back in to his embrace. It was weird how the two of you could go from arguing one minute to cuddling as if nothing happened the next but you never questioned it. 

“Probably staying in all day. Oh—I need to go to target. You drank all of my milk and failed to tell me. I’ve been eating my cereal DRY for the last week thank you very much.”

“Can I come? I think I need some groceries too.” You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the idea of Mark shopping for his own groceries. The older boy practically lived at your apartment. Sometimes you would even offer to look for an apartment together but your mutual friend Jackson always complained about you “stealing his roommate”. A lot of his clothes were sitting in your closet, he brought over some of his toiletries each and every time he slept at your apartment, most of the cubby holes in your shoe rack were taken up by him and he even bought an Xbox specifically to leave it at your place. You wouldn’t mind living with Mark, but sometimes you were glad Jackson was so adamant on keeping him at their place. Sharing the same space with him would surely drive your feelings through the roof.

“You mean some groceries to leave over at my place. You never go shopping for your own shit. Sometimes I feel like you’re only friends with me because you like mooching off of me and because I help keep you alive. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be taking your vitamins everyday and your health wouldn’t be as good as it is now.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You grocery shop for fun, who the fuck does that? Oh yeah, OLD PEOPLE. Don’t sound so upset, you had fun the last time I came with you to the grocery store.”

You giggled at the memory before turning around to flick his forehead. “You almost got us kicked out because you were fighting with a six-year-old over a Chewbacca figurine.”

“IT WAS THE LAST ONE Y/N. I HAD IT FIRST. The punk just had to start crying and his mom came telling me I was immature for fighting with a first grader.”

“You know sometimes I forget that you’re a 23-year-old senior in college and not the same 12-year-old boy from middle school. I love that you’re still a child at heart by the way. Sometimes the adult life can get a little hectic. You’re like my personal escape. Like, a breath of fresh air. I don’t say it all that often, but I’m very grateful for you. You mean a lot to me, more than you’ll ever know Tuan.” If you were facing him right now, you’d be able to see how red you made him by your sweet words. He left a gentle kiss on your jaw before leaning himself further in to the truck and pulling you down with him. The two of you stayed like that for almost two hours, stargazing and basking in the other’s presence. No words were shared but the silence spoke volumes. 

You couldn’t help but think back to a few hours ago when he was about to admit why he was so bothered but instead admitted his love for the chicken sandwich. Was he finally going to tell you how he felt for you but lost the courage as the L word fell from his lips? Why did he always have to make things so difficult? When you noticed the sun slowly making its appearance against the shoreline, you squeezed Mark’s bicep to let him know that maybe it was time to go home. 

“Since we’re hanging out later today anyway, did you want to come over to my place? Or we can head back to yours? It doesn’t really matter. If you wanna be by yourself, that’s fine too. I’ll just drop you off and come back later.” You gave him a soft smile before sitting up right and reaching over to play around with his hair. 

“Let’s go to yours. I wouldn’t mind spending time with Jackson and I miss my baby Milo.” He nodded in agreement and helped you down before making his way to his side of the car. Once he began to drive away, a small frown rose upon your face when he didn’t move his hand to your thigh. This was the first time in a long time that he drove with both hands and you knew that something was genuinely bothering him. 

You tried to take your mind off of Mark and put all your focus to everything you’d see while he drove to what you thought was going to be his apartment. However, it seemed as if he was taking a detour down different neighborhoods and you were surprised when you took a peek to see how fast he was driving and found out he wasn’t going fast at all. In fact, he was going under the speed limit. Something must’ve struck a nerve with him; Mark was known for his speed. He hated slow drivers and hated being in traffic which is why you found it unusual for him to be going at such a slow pace. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He released a soft sigh as he turned in to his apartment structure and nodded slowly. 

“Just tired. You’re not the only one staying up late to study. Oh, before I forget, you’re never a burden y/n. I’m never too busy for you. Actually, you’re one of my main priorities. So don’t feel like you can’t approach me if you need my help. Come on, let’s get you upstairs.” When the two of you made it up to his place, he tried his best to quietly open the door knowing that Jackson was still asleep. As soon as the two of you made your way in, Milo was all over you. You lowered yourself down to the little puppy and picked him up while leaving kisses all around his face. 

“Hi Milo! I’m glad to see you missed me. I missed you too cutie pie. Has daddy been taking good care of you and feeds you the snacks I bought?” You made your way to Mark’s bedroom and scoffed when you saw how neat it was. For someone who was constantly busy, why was his room so clean? Your room was in the exact state as your life, messy. Since you’ve been in here more times than you could count, you walked over to your side of the bed and laid down. He was quick to join you but not before taking off his shirt. 

You were used to Mark being shirtless, so you learned how to control your emotions and facial expressions over the years to prevent yourself from making it aware that you enjoyed it. However, you could feel your breath going shallow, especially when he would pull you in to his embrace like he was currently doing so right now. He wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his cheek against yours so that your faces were practically smashed together. The two of you weren’t strangers to spooning and cuddling, but there were times that you’d feel something hard against your thigh every now and then so Mark would keep his distance whenever it came to holding you. 

Not too long after the two of you got in to bed, you felt his warm breath against your neck as soft snores fell from his lips. You on the other hand could not find it in yourself to fall asleep. Your mind was too clouded with the events that happened during your drive and it confused you more than you already were. You began to let your eyes wander around his bedroom and giggled softly to yourself when you saw the Chewbacca figure on his desk. When you felt something vibrate in your back pocket, you remembered you put your phone in there and quickly brought it out to turn it off to prevent any noise from waking Mark up. 

As you reached to put your phone on his night stand, your heart fluttered at the photo of you from your senior prom back in high school. You remembered that night like it was yesterday. Mark was quick to ask you to be his date and you agreed right off the bat. Even at that time, you knew you wanted all your best memories to be shared with him. Your parents were extremely excited when they found out that the two of you were going together. They were all secretly hoping that you and Mark would end up with each other one day but they never did or said anything because they waited for the two of you to discover your feelings on your own. Even your mom claimed that she had a huge feeling that Mark had developed a crush on you but you never believed her. 

How could you though? You and Mark have been friends for almost a decade and he never showed signs of taking things further between the two of you. Prom night was one of the best nights of your entire high school career and you knew it had a lot to deal with the person who’s arms you were currently in. He bought you the prettiest bouquet and corsage, complimented you at least twenty times on how beautiful you looked, he even made it clear that you were the prettiest girl there but you knew he was just saying that because he was your best friend. The two of you danced almost the entire night and he entered a game in order to win an expensive pair of speakers which was currently sitting on your kitchen counter. 

Any time spent with Mark was amazing. He gave you his full attention and made sure you were having a good time no matter what the two of you were doing. Slowly, in attempts not to wake him, you found yourself turning around in order to take a good look at him. You gently began to trace his handsome features and you had to stifle a laugh when his nose scrunched, probably from being tickled. Why did you have to be such a coward? Why couldn’t you just tell him how you felt no matter the consequences? Finally, after contemplating what you would do about your feelings for Mark, you placed a kiss on his nose and fell asleep. 

When you woke up, you weren’t shocked to see that Mark was still asleep. He was an extremely heavy sleeper. There were so many times he’s found himself late to school and practice because he slept through his alarm. You took a few moments to get used to the light that was coming through his window before trying your best to leave his embrace without waking him up and when you succeeded, you turned on your phone to see what time it was and made your way into the living room. As you were about to head in to the kitchen to find something to make for you and Mark, you failed to notice Jackson on the couch, smiling at you like an idiot. 

“Good morning sunshine. Looks like somebody got a nice rest while wrapped up in your loverboy’s arms. He’s still asleep isn’t he?” You jumped at the sound of his voice, not knowing that he was there with you and rolled your eyes at his sarcastic statement. Jackson was known to be a prankster. He always made snide remarks about your relationship with Mark and he would always hint to you every now and then that Mark had feelings for you but just like how you were when your mom confronted you about your feelings, you couldn’t believe Jackson either. No matter how badly you wanted to. 

“Of course he is. I slept like a baby. Hey, what’s with you guys and being shirtless all the time? Do neither of you own any shirts?” The cheeky boy winked at you before pulling you in for a hug. 

“Gotta flaunt off the goods while we still have them. You can take off your shirt too if you want. I wouldn’t mind seeing you shirtless—ow! You’re always so abusive whenever it comes to me. It’s not like I haven’t seen you practically naked before.” You ignored him while making your way to the fridge and looking for something to cook. The two of you began to update each other on what you both did in the last few weeks since you’ve seen each other. He updated you on how basketball season was going so far and invited you to some of his games. 

The two of you continued your conversation and he brought up something that caught your attention. “Hey y/n, I know you’re not one to drink, but there’s more than just alcohol involved whenever we go out to bars and clubs. Why don’t you come with us? I’m sure Mark would finally come out with us if he knew you were tagging along. Come on, we all know baking desserts, playing modern warfare and staying up watching reruns of the office together is fun, well; for you guys. But you and Mark need to get out and do something college-like for once. You know how many times Mark has cancelled plans with us just so he could spend time with you? God, you both are so smart yet so stupid.” 

Mark was cancelling out on plans with the guys in order to hang out with you?You tried your best not to show to Jackson that his confession made you feel all warm and giddy on the inside. As the retaliation was on the tip of your tongue, Mark released a yawn to make it known he was in the room. “Ah, if it isn’t the devil himself. I was just inviting y/n to come out with us to the club on Saturday. You coming?” 

Mark gave you a look of curiosity before walking toward the fridge. “Y/n hates the club. And we can’t, we already have plans.” 

It was your turn to look at him in confusion. You don’t remember making any plans with Mark and most of your so called “plans” consisted of the two of you laying around your apartment doing nothing. Jackson shrugged, not surprised by his older friend’s response and gave you a knowing look. 

“Yeah, but she said so herself she wouldn’t mind letting loose since we only have one year left in college. Y/n must not know about your plans because she said she’d be down to come. Don’t be such a party pooper Mark, hang out with us. You’ve been already missing out on so much of our gatherings anyway. It’ll be fun!” Y

ou felt him before you could see him. He found his place behind you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders while hiding his face between your shoulder blades and let out a frustrated grunt. “Fine! Whatever. But only if y/n is going. I don’t know why you want me to come out with you guys anyway. You all get drunk the minute we walk in and flirt with anyone that has legs. I always end up driving you drunk bastards home. Quite the college experience of you ask me.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle at his sarcasm and began plating the bacon, eggs and fried rice you made for the three of your for breakfast. Other than the constant laughter that fell from your lips whenever Jackson and Mark would bicker over nonsense, you stayed quiet and focused on eating while they conversed. Once you all were done eating, Jackson mentioned throwing on a movie but Mark was quick to shut him down. You had a feeling it had to do with what happened the last time you all watched a movie together. Before you could sit down, Jackson pulled you on to his lap and refused to let you go. The daggers Mark sent through the back of Jackson’s head didn’t go unnoticed by you; in fact it made you quite happy. You loved how protective he was whenever it came to you. 

“Y/n and I actually have plans today. We need to go grocery shopping.” Jackson’s brow raised in amusement. 

“We? You’re actually buying food for us?” 

“No. I’m going to buy food to eat whenever I’m at her place. When do I ever eat here?”

As soon as the two of them finished their bickering, you said your goodbyes to Jackson and made your way to the grocery store. One thing that Mark never failed to do was make a fool out of you every single time you took him grocery shopping. However, you couldn’t say you didn’t have fun whenever he would tag along. If the two of you were to go at night, he would jump in the shopping cart and have you push him around. But in most cases, he’d stand behind you and practically trap you between his body and the cart while taking over to push. He forced you to go in and out of every aisle to make sure the two of you weren’t missing anything. 

“Y/n, serious question, Doritos or Cheetos puffs?” You thought about it for a few seconds before giving him your answer. 

“Doritos.”

“Okay, Cheetos puffs it is.” You scowled at him but before you could really react, he was driving the cart in the other direction. As soon as you felt that you were finished, you pulled to the side to make sure you had everything you needed and nothing you didn’t. 

“Cheese in a can? Really Mark? You’re not even going to eat it—“ he was quick to cover your mouth and you counterattacked by licking his hand. 

“Lick it all you want, I’m in to stuff like that.”

“Ew gross.” 

To your dismay, Mark handed the cashier his card and paid for the entirety of your groceries. This wasn’t the first time he’s done this. Whenever he tagged along with you, he’d always end up paying for your groceries no matter how much the bill came out to and his excuse was because he used and ate a lot of your groceries. 

After returning back to your apartment and the two of you put the groceries away, you spent the rest of the day reading a book while found his way on to your lap and played grand theft auto for a couple of hours. These were the days you loved the most. Although he was quite loud and violent whenever it came to his video games, you felt at peace and the most serene when it was just the two of you lounging around. 

“Hey y/n?” You hummed in curiosity and placed your book down in order to give him your full attention. “This morning, when you talked about your future husband and shit like that—do you—do you actually want to get married? Like, you want a wedding and to spend the rest of your life with someone?” 

You thought about the exact moment he was referring to and nodded in agreement. That was around the same time he grew angry and you couldn’t help but feel as if the idea of you ending up with someone else bothered him. “Of course I do. I’ve dreamt about having a beautiful, big wedding surrounded with all my friends and family. I like to look at wedding dresses and rings from time to time. How come? Don’t you?” 

He shrugged before continuing to play his game; the way he tensed up at your response caught your attention. “I guess. I don’t know, I don’t see myself settling down with anyone I guess. I don’t want anyone getting in between us. I refuse to live without you y/n.” You smiled softly before placing a gentle kiss on his neck. Sometimes you felt like the skin ship you shared was beyond normal than what most friends did. But the two of you were used to it. 

The kisses on your jaw, your neck, behind your ear; it wasn’t normal for friends to do things like that but here the two of you were. It never bothered you, in fact there were times where you couldn’t stop kissing him and had to forcefully stop yourself in fear of him finding it weird. 

“I think that’s why I’ve been single for so long. Since you are—well—you, my standards in men are pretty high. So I’d want them to be at least half the man that you are. Honestly, you and I should just get married.” His breath hitched and it was in that moment where you knew you fucked up. 

“I mean—you know. If both of us are still single once we reach thirty—then I would marry you—you know—if you asked.” You let out a sarcastic laugh and wished the ground would swallow you whole. 

“You would? Really? You’d want to marry me?” You nodded, shocked that he found it surprising. He was the only person you saw yourself getting married to, but you still had yet to make your friendship change in to a relationship. 

“Of course I’d want to marry you Mark. You’re my best friend. Why? Do you not want to marry me?” He placed the controller down and turned around to face you. The conversation was soon turning pretty serious. Mark never turned his video game off for anybody, not even you. His xbox was the only thing before you that he paid more attention to. 

“Of course I do. Nobody comes close to you y/n. Let’s make a pact, if were both single when we turn thirty, we jump the gun and marry each other. Deal?” 

You grinned like a school girl at the idea of marrying Mark one day and nodded quickly before intertwining your pinkies together. Mark returned back to his game and you with your book but not too long after, you found yourself falling asleep on top of Mark’s back and he giggled at the feeling. 

“You’re the only girl I want to marry.” 

They don't almost say "I love you" When they're downtown somewhere, just a little drunk They don't talk about the future and put each other in it And get chills with every accidental touch

Two days later, you were at home studying for your last final of the semester when you felt your phone vibrating. You tried your best to hide it in attempts to focus on your many notes in front of you, but you couldn’t help but look at it from time to time and saw that Mark was out at a bar with Jackson, BamBam, Jinyoung and Jaebum. 

You let out a giggle at every video of the guys forcing each other to take shots and you couldn’t help but wish you went with them. Forcing five months of notes in to your brain in one night was driving you insane. Seeing Mark’s name made your heart flutter, just like it normally did and right as you were about to let it go to voicemail, you answered his call. 

You haven’t seen him since he left your place right after the two of you ate dinner. He knew you had to study, so he wanted to give you his space but you found yourself typing out his number a couple of times because you missed his presence but ended up deleting the text completely. 

“Y/nnnnnnnnn. Hey, how’s the studying going? I miss you. You should’ve came.” You knew he was drunk and there was nothing more entertaining than a drunk Mark Tuan especially because he wasn’t one to drink all that often. In fact, alcohol changed him in to a completely different person. If he had a few shots of liquid courage in him, he could tell you the history of the Pillsbury dough boy. 

“You’re drunk.”

“And you’re beautiful. Your point is?” You mentally cursed the guys for allowing him to get so drunk but he was making your extremely boring night all the more fun.

“Where’s the guys?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere here on earth. Why do you care about them huh? Focus on me. I’m the only one you should be thinking about. You’re the only one I ever think about—and I think about you all the time y/n.” 

Every word that fell from his lips tugged on your heartstrings but you were smart enough to know not to believe him. He was drunk and had no idea what he was admitting to you right now. “Mark—“

“I love you. Y/n. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I don’t know why you were so surprised to—to hear that I want to marry you—look at you. You’re the most ethereal human being in the world. You’re so beautiful and you—you make me so happy. I love you, I love you, I love you. I know you’re studying for biology right now, but do you think you could learn to love me?” 

You didn’t even realize you were holding in your breath the entire time he was confessing his love for you. Even if he was drunk, his words sounded so sincere. You didn’t know what to say, it was too much to take in. Were you hallucinating? Did staying up all those hours finally drive you to the brink of insanity? Before you could find the courage to respond, you heard murmuring through the phone and soon Jaebum’s voice was replacing Mark’s. 

“Hey, do you mind coming to pick him up? He’s drunk off his ass if it wasn’t already obvious. You don’t have to worry your pretty little head about the rest of us. We’re all fine. It’s Mark who ended up drinking a little too much.”

“Of course. Can you text me your location? I’ll be there soon. Take care of him for me would you?” You debated on taking a taxi, your mind was too clouded with his entire confession and you didn’t think you were in your right mind to be driving but you didn’t want to have to wait for one while taking care of a drunk Mark by yourself. Why couldn’t the guys just take him back with them? They were the ones who allowed him to get so drunk, why were they making him your responsibility? 

The entire drive to the bar was mind wrecking and you even found yourself running a few red lights. What was going to happen when you had him all to yourself? When you pulled up to the bar, your eyes immediately landed on the group of boys hovering over who you assumed to be Mark. Smiles all rose on their faces as soon as they saw you approaching but you were too focused on making sure Mark was okay. 

“Can I get some help to my car please?” Jackson and Jinyoung wrapped their arms around his shoulders and carried him to your car while BamBam and Jaebum walked alongside you. 

“I guess it’s out there.” You looked at BamBam in curiosity and earned yourself a knowing look. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about y/n. I can’t believe it took him getting drunk to confess his feelings for you, but it had to come out somehow and he obviously wasn’t going to tell you how he feels sober. I’ve never seen someone as in love with a person like Mark is with you. That boy looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass. You must be blind not to see it. And don’t get me started when it comes to how much he talks about you. Whenever he actually comes out with us, you’re all he talks about. “Y/n loves coming here.” “Y/n showed me that last week.” “I hope y/n did good on her test.” “Did you guys see y/n last week? She looked so pretty in that dress.” I’m sure he could write a novel about the love he has for you—ow. What was that for?” 

The younger boy rubbed his shoulder from where Jaebum hit him and you couldn’t help but snicker. “That’s enough. Let mark go in to depth about his love for her. If he finds out your dumb ass practically confessed his feelings for him, you’re going to have to catch the bus home. Drive safely y/n. Let us know when you get home. And good luck with him. Please do something with the information you found out tonight. It’s been long enough don’t you think?” 

The boys all pulled you in for quick hugs and you began to drive away, making your way back to your apartment. He looked so peaceful yet so inebriated. His cheeks were pink and his eyelids were swollen yet he still looked so good. You hesitantly reached for his cheek and grazed you’re thumb against his Cupid’s bow. 

“You silly, silly boy. What am I going to do with you?” Bringing him upstairs by yourself was a challenge. If waking him up while he was sober was hard, attempting to get him up from his slumber was even more difficult. Not only did he not wake up at every single attempt of shaking him and practically whisper yelling in his ear, but his body was practically deadweight. What normally was a two minute walk from your parking lot to your apartment took almost twenty minutes. You praised yourself once you made it to your front door and dragged him inside, pulling him towards your room. His breath wreaked of alcohol and you weren’t sure if you wanted to try and get him to brush his teeth but after a while, you ultimately decided against it. Why put yourself through even more work for you? 

You took off his clothes and helped change him in to one of the shirts he left at your place before heading back in to the kitchen to get him a bottle of water and painkillers you knew he would need in the morning. After changing your clothes and preparing yourself for bed, you found your place next to Mark and brought his face in to your hands. With his confession and reassurance from both Jaebum and BamBam, you were confident in your decision to confront and confess your love for him when he was completely sober. You gave yourself a few moments to admire the handsome boy in front of you and placed a soft kiss on his lips before sleep finally took over. 

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of something rustling and a soft groan that you knew came from Mark. He released an exhausted sigh before pulling you closer to his chest. You decided to pretend you were still asleep in order to see what his next move would be and when you felt the multiple kisses along the back of your neck, it took every bone in your body not to react. “If only you knew.”

“Knew what?” The scream that filled your room on top of the thud that came when Mark fell off your bed made you erupt in laughter. You quickly ran over to his side to help him back up on top of the bed but your giggles still continued. He glared at you and crossed his arms out of frustration and you decided to give him a break. 

“You little shit. You scared me. How did I—why am I here?” You knew he was trying to redirect your attention away from his confession and you were going to play along for a few minutes before taking your confrontation head on. 

“You got piss drunk and the boys called me over to come get you.”

“Those assholes. I always take them home after their drunken stupors, I don’t know why they can’t do the same for me. They should know better than to bother you. You’re already tired as it is already. I’m sorry about that.” You shook your head before handing him a few pain killers and the water bottle. 

“It’s totally fine Mark. How are you feeling?” He groaned. 

“Like shit. I um—I didn’t say anything embarrassing did I?” This was it. It was time to finally find out for yourself what Mark’s exact feelings for you were. Although it has been hinted to you many times, and the truth came out last night, you wanted to hear him say it himself, sober. 

You didn’t give yourself any time to think before your lips connected with his. It felt so natural to you. You cupped his cheeks with your palms as your lips moved softly against his. However, once you tasted the alcohol and noticed he wasn’t reacting, you pulled away. 

“W—what—did you just—did we—am I still drunk? I have to be. There’s no way—why did you stop? What the fuck is going on?” His stammering was extremely adorable and before you could respond, his lips were back on yours. Kissing Mark felt too good to be true. His lips melded perfectly with yours, as if the two of you were made to kiss one another. 

“You told me you loved me last night. This is my way of letting you know I feel the exact same way. I’ve been in love with you for so many years, I can’t even count how long on my hands. I never thought I was good enough for you, nor did I think there was a chance you would ever feel the same. I was always just your best friend. The idea of us being something more than friends was an unrealistic daydream I would hope and pray would become a reality. Over the course of our friendship, our parents, friends and even our teachers would try and tell me that you harbored feelings for me but I never believed anybody. We’ve been friends for so long already. If you liked me, you would’ve done something about it a long time ago. I really wanted to confess my feelings for you on many occasions, but the idea of losing you was one I couldn’t even fathom.” 

With the way he was looking at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes at your confession you were sure you’d melt in to a puddle right there. “You’re my best friend Mark. My person. My soulmate. Hearing you tell me that you love me is such a beautiful and indescribable feeling. I meant it when I said I would marry you because I knew you were the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. There’s nobody else but you Mark. You’re it for me.” 

He brought some of your hair behind your ear and just as he was about to kiss you, you dodged his lips no matter how badly you wanted to feel them against yours again. 

“You just confessed your feelings for me, let me kiss you—“ 

“Brush your teeth first stinky and then we’ll talk.” He rolled his eyes before stomping over to your bathroom. 

“The love of my life is denying me kisses I can’t believe this bullshit—“ the blush was warm on your cheeks and you knew if you were to look in a mirror that you’d be as red as a tomato right now but you didn’t care; Mark had that effect on you. You could hear how rough and quick he was brushing his teeth and the thought of him rushing in order to kiss you again made your heart flutter. Soon, he clumsily made his way toward you and practically tackled you on to the bed. He wasted no time attacking your face with kisses and finally bringing his lips to yours. 

You would have never thought, in all your years of being friends with Mark that you would one day have him hovering over you with his grip tight on your waist as your tongues battled for dominance, roughly clashing against each other. Kissing Mark was otherworldly. His lips were soft and melded well against yours and the way he was touching you, so gentle yet so seductively was driving you insane. You playfully brought his bottom lip in between your teeth and the growl that came from the back of his throat sent chills down your spine. 

“Fuck—shit—fuck—you—you’re so beautiful y/n. So fucking beautiful and extremely sexy. God, I am so, so in love with you baby. Ugh, I love how it sounds calling you that. Baby. You are MY baby.” 

He grinned widely and stole one more kiss from the corner of your mouth before continuing. “As much as I did not want to go out last night, I needed something else to consume my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how badly I wanted you to be mine. You know how hard it is? Seeing that breathtaking smile of yours, hearing that contagious laughter than makes me smile like an idiot, holding you in my arms, running my fingers through your hair and not being able to kiss you? Not being able to hold your hand and letting the world know that you’re mine? It was torture y/n. From the day we became friends, I knew you were meant to be someone special in my life. I just didn’t know how special nor did I know how much you would mean to me. You’re my entire world y/n.” He pulled you on to his lap and softly cupped your cheeks.

“You are the most selfless, hardworking, generous, kind-hearted, caring and extremely supportive person I’ve ever met. You are the reason I put so much effort and energy in to every little thing that I do. I want you to be proud of me. If you’ve been wondering why I get so angry whenever it comes to you and another guy; like you and Jackson that one movie night, you and Jinyoung when we played spin the bottle, hell, even a few nights ago when you talked about your future husband, it’s because I was jealous. The thought of you loving someone else, kissing someone else, settling down and starting a family with someone who isn’t me sends an upsetting feeling to my stomach. Pathetic isn’t it. I’m a coward who couldn’t act on my feelings because I was too afraid of your reaction so I had no right to be jealous. The reason I got so drunk last night was because BamBam and Jackson wouldn’t stop joking around about how cute you and Park Jinyoung would look together. Fuck Jinyoung—wait—don’t. The only person you’ll be fucking from now on is me. But I hope you know you’re stuck with me and my dick for the rest of your life. Now that I have you, you’re mine forever. I’m never letting you go. My beautiful y/n, I love you so much.” 

He smiled in to the kiss as soon as he felt his lips on yours and quickly wiped away your tear as it fell down your cheek. “To think, if only I got you drunk earlier, we could been in this position sooner.”

“Well I heard that drunk sex is the best kind of sex, so if you want to take a few shots of tequila and celebrate our newfound relationship by bouncing on my dick for the rest of the day then I’m all for it—ow y/n—I’m going to let you know that slapping is only fun if I get to do it to you—I hope you’re this wild during sex. Honestly, what did I get myself into? I’m kidding—come back here. Let me love you baby!”

[herstoryherlegacy]

Expect the unexpected

(Trigger warning - lots of throw ups)

This has never really been my motto. Most things in my life have been expected or I’ve had signs pointed out to me that gives me a hint of what lies ahead. I was not expecting to be in the ER tonight. Actually I was just about to put my makeup on and do a lovely couples photoshoot with my husband when I got the call to come to the ER for possible blood clot in my lungs. Let me back up..

I had been healing from my port placement 3 days ago. Yesterday I was texting Juan updates on how I was feeling. I’m extremely thankful he was so diligent on checking in on me. My main concern was the tightness in my chest, pressure where the port is. I couldn’t take a deep breath. I felt better resting. I had even been doing light housework to stay up and active. Today he checked in again. The chest pressure was better. I could actually take a deep breath with little to no problem. Fast forward to this afternoon. I had went down to my best friend Sam’s salon to get my hair styled for my photoshoot. She’s on the 2nd floor and we took the stairs. My favorite part. I hadn’t exercised since my diagnosis and it’s been killing me. I was so active. Upon reaching the 2nd floor which was not far, I was winded. I text Juan letting him know, and he didn’t respond right away. I sat down, caught my breath, and got my hair done. As soon as I parked at home Juan called. He was consulting his doctor and advised I go in ASAP to an urgent care to be seen. I needed an x-ray, EKG, oxygen levels checked to rule out a possible blood clot in the lungs. Fuck me..

Disappointed to say the least. I walked into my home filled with laughter from my girls and their cousins, everyone gathered at the table for a meal, my in laws were visiting. All I could say was, we have to go to urgent care. I didn’t even kiss my babies goodbye 😕 I said goodbye to them but not thinking I wouldn’t be back tonight didn’t cross my mind. Now I wish I had. I arrived at a local urgent care before closing and the first thing I noticed in the lobby were vases of fake sunflowers. By pure coincidence, I use a sunflower background when I update my stories about my disease. I immediately knew this was God’s way of telling me he was with me and that I would be okay. I went into a room to be evaluated, and guess what kind of shoes the nurse was wearing? I’d never seen these before, but white vans with yellow sunflowers all over. There are no coincidences! However I wasn’t helped and was told to go to the ER.

No one likes to be in the ER, especially not right now. I had labs drawn, and an x-ray which showed proper placement of the port. Luckily Juan was here working and able to be there for my x-ray. He came to see me once more before he left to tell me he was going to communicate with the doctor about my CT and insulin complications. I had mentioned I was waiting for my husband to bring my charger because I was basically on E, and he graciously went to retrieve his charger to give to me. So extremely thankful for that gesture because alone, with no connection to my family in this place, is NOT the business. A charged phone is a precious lifeline so please always keep yours charged! So now..I wait for the CT.

I had been moved all over that ER. First I came to a bed and talked with a nurse. Then another nurse came in demanding she needed the bed. Once I was done I was booted off that bed so fast and into a chair in a hallway. The place was littered with sick people inside and outside rooms. It was so sad and crowded. I do believe I was mixed with both normal sick people and possible covid patients. To say I was nervous is an understatement. Back and forth I went between rooms, chairs, main waiting room, and scans. The longest wait was waiting to have my CT scan. I was in a room with chemo type reclining chairs. This poor girl in front of me was dealing with pain, bad. I felt so sorry for her. She was doing a good job being quiet but her face and body language looked like she was in active labor, though she was not. After watching I assumed she was suffering some sort of abdominal pain. When it was just us two, I didn’t want to make her talk, but I told her that I didn’t know what she was going through but that I was going to cover her in prayer. Her eyes lit up. She said thank you a bunch and I just assured her that I had her taken care of. I prayed with healing words. No matter what situation I’m in, I would never turn down the opportunity to put myself aside and pray for someone else who needed it more. I have failed this test before many times being too shy to pray, but you never know how those simple words of offering someone prayer may help them feel better. I wanted to cry, yeah I was in here for a possible life threatening issue, but I was nowhere as bad off as these people.

So I prayed for her, and eventually it was my turn to go to my CT. I had an IV put in, flushed, and had 3 medications to help me with my scan. One was Benadryl. I was actually glad to have it because I’ll be receiving it in my Pre-chemo cocktail and I wasn’t sure how I would feel on it. Yes it made me woozy immediately, but it was tolerable. Almost enjoyable in the correct setting. Waiting again, and was wheeled over by this super nice guy who eased the stress with good conversation. If you’ve ever done an MRI with contrast..it’s a fucking insane feeling. I laid down, the nurse flushed my IV and added the contrast. She loaded me in and waited a few minutes for it to kick in. I was in the machine for another few minutes and immediately when I was done I felt the warm rush. I’ve previously been warned it makes you feel really warm and almost like you’ve pee’d yourself. Thank god they reminded me because the warm sensation is explosive. It simultaneously felt like hot water was exploding from both my chest outward and my crotch 😂 indeed I clenched my body in case I did pee, but that’s exactly how it felt!!! So odd. Off to wait again for the results. This is where it for torturous. I am SO thankful for my AirPods and this charger. I have a very sensitive trigger to throwing up. Myself, other people, I can’t handle it. I actually did a good job this last week because both my girls got a virus, and I wasn’t second hand nauseous at all, that’s a victory. But in this ER literally 90% of the patients were vomiting 😑 I cranked those air pods to the max to drown out the sound. Closed my eyes. I don’t want what they got. So I’m in the big chair room again, my poor friend comes back in. Still in pain desperate for relief. Then another person, and another until the whole room was filled with us 5 people. 3/5 with vomiting 😕. Poor baby I prayed for got sick first, she was telling a nurse she was getting sick from the pain itself. Then the girl directly next to me. As she was getting her IV meds she started to get sick. It was a constant rush of nurses trying to get those sick bags in time..bless their quickness. I winced and turned to my left as to avoid being there. There wasn’t anywhere I could go where I wasn’t in the direct line of someone getting sick. I was miserable. Benadryl still kicking, I tried to nap, but had to keep my eyes open waiting for my name to be called. Eventually the time came, I was put in a draw chair outside the big chair room and my doctor read me the good news! I had my IV’s taken out and asked if they wanted me to go back into the big chair room (I don’t want to hog the draw chair in case someone needed it) and he said sure, just as I stood up the first poor girl started wrenching and I said “you know what I’ll stay here” and with a laugh the nurse walked back to their station and printed my discharge papers. I was R E L I E V E D. I was as calm in this situation as I needed to be, panicking and stressing weren’t going to help me. Easier said than done, to just not stress, but knowing how much trauma your body goes through WHEN you stress, it just wasn’t going to work in my favor. I came home famished, ate my dinner at 11:30pm, followed by a bag of popcorn, followed by a small serving of ice cream. Then my blood sugars sky rocketed all night 🙃 eh, not a good thing but I will hopefully have that very taken care of soon. Praise God nothing came out of this, each day has its own surprises, not all good, but also not all bad. The day started well with me sharing that my CT showed no cancer anywhere else in my body. This is EXTREMELY good news, and ended with me in the ER. You just never know how things will play out. So hug your kids, tell them you love them, do something fun. Enjoy the day given, because in a flash it could all be taken away ✌🏻

[ayellowcurtain]

maybe on his date Robbe will be honest with Sander and tell him what happened with his ex, an infidelity or a lie that makes him doubt everything and he feels like a little thing, making Sander show him what he is the most beautiful thing you have seen.

Part 2

Sander doesn’t remember the last time he went on a real date with no second intention. And the ones he went to were basically planned by Britt so he really doesn’t know what he’s doing tonight. He needed a way out of the flat, away from Jens and with Robbe, the rest he didn’t have enough time to plan.  

It makes it even harder for him to think when Robbe is going with him so blindly, smiling like he’s going to the best date ever!

“Have you ever been on a date before?” Sander asks, holding the handle of his bike a little tighter, but Robbe laughs and he looks at him, not really sure what he said or did that was so funny, “What?”

“So this is a date?” He lifts his eyebrows in surprise and Sander feels his cheeks warming an insane amount suddenly. He looks away and Robbe laughs again, walking closer to him now, just the bike in between them. “I’m kidding, Sander!” Robbe touches his shoulder and Sander looks at him, biting the inside of his bottom lip.

“Sorry...if that was a little too forward.” It wouldn’t be the first time someone thinks Sander is a little too extreme, too quick.

“I think you’re pretty open about what you want, huh?” Robbe says shyly in the middle of a very quiet and late night and Sander sighs, wishing he could stop and keep looking at Robbe at all times.

“I guess I am, sometimes. It’s just that inside my head can be a mess...so when I know what I want, I tend to blurt it out, afraid to loose it in the middle...inside my messy brain.”

Sander looks over his shoulder at Robbe because he’s really quiet and Robbe is actually listening to him, looking and nodding his head, so interested.

“No, I get it. I wish I was as brave, honestly.”

“I’m not sure if it’s bravery, but thank you if it is.” He laughs and Robbe smiles, walking a little bit faster so they can be side by side.

“I think it is. It’s a good thing to be.”

“Yeah?” Sander looks at Robbe again and he only nods his head, putting both his hands inside the pockets in his jacket.

“Yeah!”

“You don’t think you’re brave?”

“No, not at all. I’m kinda...naive, I guess. I tend to do anything to avoid conflict, you know?” Robbe frowns like he’s struggling to express himself and Sander thinks he gets it. Robbe does look like the peaceful, quiet type.

“I know...I guess we’re complete opposites then.”

“You don’t avoid conflict?”

“I don’t think people would say that about me, ever. But I don’t go searching for trouble either...not too much at least.”

Robbe’s lips turn slightly up and Sander feels a little more at ease knowing that all this unnecesary information is not pushing Robbe away, trying to think of an excuse to leave Sander and never talk to him again.

“I think you risking going on dates with two roommates can be considered searching for trouble for some people.”

Sander stops, looking at Robbe, trying to think fast enough to explain how it happened inside his head.

“No, that’s not it! I told you before: I didn’t know you existed.”

“If you knew...” Robbe lifts his eyebrows, expecting more explanations.

“I wouldn’t have gotten on a date with Milan, even thought it was just...hm, sex.” Sander looks at Robbe, hoping he understand that he’s not trying to be a player or anything.

Robbe starts walking again and so Sander does the same, keeping the same distance, one bike away, than before. “Have you ever been a date?”

“Yeah, I dated someone for over a year so I guess I went on a couple of dates.”

Robbe nods his head, looking away and again Sander is worried he said the wrong thing. It feels like a test, one that he needs to get every answer right, but he knows this is all in his head. Robbe is not as worried as he is.

“Again, if I knew you....” he tries and Robbe looks at him, raising his eyebrows and smiling.

“Don’t know if I should tell you this, but you sound very interested in me...” They both laugh and Sander bites his lip not to tell Robbe how deeply interested he is. The dating subject seems to be a little sensitive still, ringing all the red alarms inside Robbe’s shy brain.

“Is that a bad thing? Are you seeing someone else?...Or interested in someone else?”

“No, not at all. I’m not even sure if I know what being interested in someone is for me.”

“Hm, for me is like you see the person and you think he’s the best. The most beautiful creature to ever walk this earth. And you think everything he does is funny or cute, you’re interested in everything he has to say. You want to know everything so you can do everything right.”

Sander stops when Robbe starts to really blush, not only on his cheeks, but all around his face and neck too. The hard yellow lights don’t hide any of it, but they do have some comforting shadow in between the lampposts. It feels like they walk slower when they’re in the shadows and Sander wonders if Robbe is needing those extra seconds to recover.

“Is is good...to feel like that?”

“Is new to me, but yes, it’s good.”

Robbe walks slower again, but he’s measuring his words now, looking down, opening his mouth a few times when he finally decides what to say, looking up at Sander. “I don’t think anyone ever felt like this about me before.”

“Why? Didn’t you...used to date someone?” Robbe looks at him, clearly confused with how he knows that and Sander shrugs, “I asked a lot about you to Milan...”

“He has a very big mouth.”

“Sorry...”

Robbe takes his time thinking what to say and Sander doesn’t push him. They walk in silence and Sander tries to secretly look at Robbe now that’s he’s busy thinking. He really likes the oversized clothes, covering his entire body except for his pretty face. Sander can’t see much, but he’s sure Robbe is moving his hand inside his pocket, fidgeting, probably.

They finally come out of the park they used as a shortcut, into a sidewalk with a few strangers waiting to cross the street right next to them. Robbe looks at the stoplight like everyone else and they cross the street in silence. He only starts talking when the people around them walked away to different directions, leaving them alone again, walking on another long sidewalk right next to another park, with a long and high wall on their other side.

“It wasn’t really a relationship, I think. Looking at it now, it wasn’t a relationship to me.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Sander tries to start easy, not sure how much Robbe is willing to share and how jealous he’ll get of the stranger he’s so captivated by.

“Not really, it was something stupid and that doesn’t deserve this much time or energy. I wasn’t really out and I guess he wasn’t that interested, so he moved on...quickly.”  Robbe smiles suddenly, walking sideways, looking at Sander, “I do wanna know...why are you interested?”

Sander stops on the road in the middle of nowhere they’ve been walking for a while. Robbe is somewhat trying to flirt with him, interested in how interested Sander is. And for two strangers, this feels like a good sign.

“There’s something about you with your tense shoulders, grumpyly waiting for your coffee to be made on a early Friday morning, using an oversized shirt that made me realize that you were the one.”

“The one? What do you mean with the one...?”

“Soulmate. Do you believe in that?” Sander tries to say as confidently as he feels, no stutter to not frighten Robbe more than his words already did.

“I don’t know...I think so. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I think they’re countless of us, Sander and Robbe, in another universes, separating from us every time we make a life changing decision.”

“So there’s another Robbe that stayed in the flat tonight?”

“Maybe. And maybe a Sander that slept in on Milan’s bed that morning.” Robbe wigles his eyebrows and Sander snorts and rolls his eyes, saving the new information that Robbe might be a little bit of the jealous type.

“I’m very happy that I live in this universe then.” Sander smiles and Robbe looks at him for another whole second before smiling shyly, nodding his head. Sander looks around them, he recognizes the place behind him. Even with all the lights turned off inside, he used to come here with his parents for a swim every afternoon during summer with his parents so he would recognize the white, tempting wall anywhere, “Do you wanna go for a swim?”

“A swim? It’s the middle of the night, Sander!”

“And? All the way or no way, Robbe.” He pushes his bike against the bush close to the door. If he’s lucky, Sander still knows how to break into that beautiful pool, “Come!”

He looks back at Robbe, looking at both sides of the sidewalk, clenching his jaw, standing on his tiptoes before rushing to catch up to Sander once he manages to unlock the door.

[illfoandillfie]

Code Red

Request: Okay so like roger and y/n are going at it and roger wants to try stuff and keep making her cum over and over and like she’s being pushed too far but she wants to please Rog so she doesn’t say anything and like maybe loses consciousness and Rog is like taking care of her apologizing profusely and ya know she wakes up and he’s saying how sorry he is and that can never happen again and she should always tell him when he’s crossing a limit

Beta’d by the wonderful @laedymoon​ 

Pairing: Roger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+) but also a bit of Hurt/Comfort maybe leaning into Angst territory, could be read as DubCon, forced orgasm, overstimulation, fingering, vibrator, safeword not being used when it should

Words: 3501

A/N: So this definitely won’t be for everyone. It’s not something you see a whole lot of in fics though, so when I read the request I immediately wanted to do it, even though I knew it would be a challenge (sorry it took so long for me to actually write it!). My main concern was Roger coming across as ~The Bad Guy~ and I think I’ve successfully avoided that.

Taglist:  @dtfrogertaylor​   @ezmina98​  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​ @bowiequeen  @hannafuckingsucks​ @some-kindofcheese

By the time you were dressed and ready for work, Roger was standing in your kitchen. It was a nice sight. His back was towards you, bare shoulders hunched up as he yawned with his whole body. As he exhaled he brought a hand up to rub his eye, and then went back to drumming his fingers on the bench, impatient for your kettle to boil. “Morning,” you said softly as you wrapped your arms around his waist, squeezing just a little and pressing your lips to the back of his shoulder, “Y’know you don’t have to make the coffee if you sleep over. I could do it.” Roger turned to face you, leaning forward to kiss you before he waved off your protest, “Nah, I don’t mind. It’s nearly done. Just waiting on this stupid thing,” he pointed at your kettle with his thumb, “to boil.” “Thank you, think I’m going to need a lot of coffee to get through today,” “Work that bad?” “No, I’m just a bit tired and don’t want to fall asleep at my desk,” “We were up quite late weren’t we,” Roger said, winking at you before turning back around to get the now whistling kettle. You smiled sheepishly and avoided his eye when he handed you your mug. “C’mon love, nothing to be shy about with me. I was there remember?” “Yeah, I know,” “Actually, I wanted to ask you something related to that. Y’know how we’ve been trying some new stuff in the bedroom? I had an idea of something else we could try, if you were into it.” You could feel the heat rushing to your face and pointedly kept your eyes on your coffee. The barest mention of sex made you embarrassed. It wasn’t that you were a prude or inexperienced or didn’t like sex – sex was great, especially with Roger – it was just that you preferred the actual act to talking about it. You figured it had to do with the rather sheltered childhood you’d lived. Roger was incredibly understanding though, going out of his way to use round about phrases like in the bedroom rather than something more direct, in an effort to alleviate your discomfort and hesitancy. Very early on in the relationship you’d tried to weasel your way out of actually having the conversations, but Roger wouldn’t let you. He insisted that part of what made a good relationship was communicating properly, especially about things that might make you uncomfortable and especially about sex. So far it had been a good policy. It was the difference between you and Roger, and you and anyone else you’d dated. All the guys you had previously been with had found your shyness charming, alluring, at least at first, and so never tried to push you to talk. Which meant that you’d either ended up stuck in ruts, growing bored with the routine you’d fallen into, or you just never communicated properly and fell apart. Roger hadn’t let that happen, always open about what he wanted and trusting you to be honest with him about your own wants and needs. “What did you have in mind?” you asked your coffee, though you were actually insanely curious. You’d tried a lot of stuff recently, beyond what you were already familiar with. Some of it you’d suggested, stuttering over your words and fighting the impulse to hide under the covers, but some of it was Roger’s ideas, things you’d never considered before, though all of it had gone well so far. Roger, sensing your discomfort, placed his hand over yours to calm you. “Forced Orgasms. Kind of tied into the whole dominant, submissive thing we’ve been testing.” “And, um, what, what would happen exactly?” “Essentially,” Roger continued, thumb rubbing over the back of your hand, “I’d make you cum a lot.” “Yeah, I figured as much from the name,” you giggled, “more meant specifics. Like, umm, fingers or…?” If you hadn’t been embarrassed before, you certainly were now. “If that’s what you want, I can definitely use my fingers.” You were still focusing your vision on your coffee, but you could hear the cheeky lilt in Roger’s voice and felt his fingers tap against the back of your hand as he wiggled them teasingly, “Or if you wanted, I could eat you out. Last time I did this sort of thing I used a vibrator which worked well. Fast too. You don’t have to make up your mind right now though.” You nodded, thankful he wasn’t going to make you say any of it out loud just yet. “What’s your record?” “Um, four times I think,” “We can beat four, easy. But, it might get uncomfortable, maybe even hurt, the longer it goes on.” You shrugged, “Spanking hurts too but it’s still fun.” “Very true,” he laughed.  You chanced a glance up at him, catching his eye before you dropped your attention back to your coffee, “But what do you get out of it?” “Well, y’know I like being in control, we’ve established that. And I think it’ll be hot to watch you cum over and over, especially knowing I’m the one making it happen. Does that mean you’d want to try it?” “Yes, absolutely. Maybe not tonight though,” “No not tonight. We’ll save it for a day you’re not working.”

 It was nearly a week before you had a day off. In that time, you managed to change your mind about forced orgasms what felt like fifty times at least. Some days the idea excited you, to the point where you’d spend all day turned on and rush home hoping Roger would be easy to get a hold of that night. Other days it sounded like pure torture. Part of you wanted to discuss it further with Roger, get a clearer understanding of what exactly he was going to do to you and why the idea turned him on so much, but you’d never been good at initiating that type of conversation. Plus, every little reminder of it seemed to excite Roger and you couldn’t bear to admit you weren’t one hundred percent into it anymore. You’d ruled things out in the past which Roger always said was fine but you worried he was just being nice, that he didn’t really mean it. And you knew that if you took back your yes, indicated at all that you’d changed your mind, he’d resent you. He’d leave you for someone who wouldn’t chicken out of things, wouldn’t say no. So instead, on your day off, you stood in front of Roger and responded to his query if you were ready with a hearty yes, adding a quick Sir at the end because you knew it would please him. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he took you in. “You remember your safeword, Kitten?” His use of the nickname you’d recently agreed on made you feel a little calmer. It was a response to your deference, acknowledgement of the roles you’d initiated, a sign you were on the same page. Even if you weren’t totally.  “It’s red, Sir,” “Good girl,” his voice was soft as he brushed his thumb over your cheek and then he let you go, voice gaining that commanding edge that appeared whenever you let him take control, “Now strip.”

 Roger unbuckled his belt, gaze fixed on you as you pulled your shirt off and moved on to unbuttoning your pants. His own pants fell to the floor with a dull thump as he stepped out of them and then, still in his shirt and underwear, turned and made himself comfortable, stretched out in the middle of the bed, leaning against the headboard. He watched as you removed your final garments, eyes roaming over your exposed body as you waited for your next instruction. Your heart was already beating faster than normal, the nerves making it hard to swallow.  “Come here Kitten,” he finally said, moving his legs apart and patting the space in between. You dutifully sat where he’d told you to, though your whole body felt tense. “‘s alright, love, I’ve got you. Gonna make you feel so good. Just tell me if you need to stop,” He said softly against your ear as his warm palms rubbed up and down your arms.  You felt yourself breathe more freely with every stroke, relaxing against his chest as he brought his lips to your neck.  “That’s it, good girl.” You hummed as you tilted your head to the side, presenting more of your neck to Roger. He went slow, dragging his lips along your neck and shoulder until you were making small needy noises. Your hands fell to his legs on either side of you as he tilted your head in the opposite direction so he could kiss and suck at the other side of your neck, bringing his hands to your breasts at the same time. Unconsciously you pushed your chest forward, your legs falling open a little more, feeling his breath on your shoulder as he chuckled. “There’s my filthy slut,” he squeezed your breasts as he spoke, teasing your nipples with his thumbs, “bet you’re already wet for me,” You whined as he trailed his hands lower, one moving to your knee, pulling your legs further apart and holding you in place. He dragged a single finger along your pussy, right up to your clit, holding it up in front of your eyes when he was done. “Yup, just like I thought. Wet.” His voice was right in your ear, making you shiver, “Think that deserves a reward.” He picked up one of your legs, pulling it over the top of his, and then did the same with the other, exposing your pussy to the room and his fingers. “You comfortable?” You wriggled a little as you adjusted to the new position, finally settling with a, “Am now Sir,” “Alright, let’s see how much cum we can squeeze out of you,”

 He knew your body well. Knew every extra sensitive spot, knew how to make you moan. And it wasn’t long before you were doing just that, two of his fingers fucking you, curling against your wall, as his thumb pressed against your clit.  “Close, Kitten?” “Mmhmm,” “Show me what a dirty girl you are and cum for me,” Your whole body tensed up as you reached your climax, Roger’s voice in your ear praising you the whole time. But his fingers only slowed down so he could add a third, and then they were back at their previous pace. “Oh God, Sir,” “Didn’t think I was going to give you a break, did you? Why would I do that when you look so good cumming for me? And I’m going to watch it happen over and over and over. One after another.” It took less time to feel your second orgasm approaching than it had your first, his fingers expertly pulling you towards it until finally you fell over the edge. You’d expected Roger to keep fingering you but he withdrew his hand, pressing his fingers to your lips instead. You parted them without a second thought. “That felt good, didn’t it Kitten?” You hummed around his fingers as he shifted his weight slightly, reaching his other hand out towards the bedside table. “Think we can do better though,” He settled back into his original place as he brought the thing he’d been reaching for up to your eye line. It was a vibrator. You stopped sucking his fingers, “Sir?” “Are you okay if I switch to this Kitten? I can keep fingering you if you’d prefer but we run the risk of being interrupted by a cramp.” You bit you lip as you eyed the machine. It was much more powerful than a human hand could be, enough to make you a little nervous. But Roger seemed excited by the idea of using it on you, and so far the whole forced orgasm thing had been fun, not much different to a regular night with Rog. “Switch,” “You sure?” “Yes, Sir. I want the vibrator.” He kissed you on the temple, dropping one hand back to your leg as the other positioned the vibrator against your clit. You practically jumped when it came to life, Roger’s grip on your leg tightening to hold you still. He started on the lowest setting, running the vibrator through your folds until it was coated in your juices and then holding it against your clit once more. When you started trying to buck your hips towards it, he turned it up, pushing you over the edge again. “Good girl, two more and we’ll’ve beat your record. You okay to continue?” You nodded, the vibrator still pulsing against your clit making it hard to form words. Roger’s hand rubbed over your thigh gently as he continued. The next two orgasms came fast, Roger pushing the vibrator up to its highest speed, your nails digging into his leg with each one. He shifted the hand that wasn’t wrapped around the toy to your stomach, holding you in place as you tried to writhe away from the constant stimulation on your now sensitive clit. So this is where the forced part comes in, was all you had time to think before your toes reflexively curled and your breath caught as you were pushed into another climax. Your moans got quieter, turned to whines which turned to whimpers and tears prickled your eyes as the throbbing sensitivity turned to pain. The idea of using your safeword crossed your mind but you couldn’t bring yourself to actually say it. Roger’s hold on you was so tight and you could feel how much he was enjoying the scene, his cock hard against your back. And it wasn’t like cumming so much was that bad. It felt good except that it hurt a bit more with each passing minute. But you could get through the relentless torment to please Roger, to keep Roger. Even when it reached the point where the pain outweighed the pleasure and your nails were constantly squeezing Roger’s thighs and it felt like you couldn’t possibly have anything left for him to pull out of you, you grit your teeth and took it, legs shaking and vision blurry with tears.

You’d lost count entirely. Not sure how many times you’d cum or how long you’d been positioned there, spread open between Roger’s legs. Your clit was practically numb from overuse. He’d shifted his hands again. One hand still held the toy against you, that arm pressing against your stomach, the ditch of his elbow tight against your side, while his other hand wrapped around one of your thighs, stopping your leg from moving after you, unconsciously, tried to close them. You couldn’t remember when he shifted his hold on you. His voice was in your ear again, but the words weren’t getting through properly, brain too clouded to understand. There were tears on your cheeks though you also couldn’t remember when they started to fall. It was all too much, his voice and his touch and your grip on his leg and the way you were shaking, too much to focus on any one thing. The only word in your head was red. Urgent and desperate, RED. All caps, bold, italicized. RED. Over and over again, RED, repeating like a mantra. RED. It was the last thing you thought as your hand stopped clenching on his thigh and your head fell back against his shoulder and your eyes slipped shut. 

When you came to, blinking the blurry confusion from your eyes, it was to find Roger hovering over you, his fingers pressed against the pulse in your neck. His eyebrows were furrowed, his lip red and swollen from where he’d bitten it, a small streak of blood just below his mouth. As soon as he realised you were coming round he let out a relieved breath. “Y/N?” His voice was soft, calming, though a little strained, “Hey, love, you with me?” “Rog?” His whole body slumped in relief, as he pulled his hand away from your pulse point though it hovered in the air for a moment, uncertain if he was allowed to touch you again, “Thank god you’re okay. Your heart was racing and you just went limp and passed out. I thought you’d gone into shock or something, god I’m so sorry.” You had to piece together what happened from your sore muscles and the numb tingling sensation between your legs and Roger’s babbling as he kept apologising. It all rushed back to you though as you try to sit up, the muscles in your legs complaining with every slight shift of your weight. You noticed blood on Roger’s leg as he shuffled back to give you space, the spot where your nails had dug too deep. “Are you okay?” you ask, pointing at the scratches. He was still studying you with worried eyes, arms folded into his chest because he didn’t know what else to do with them. At your words he blinked a couple of times, worry slipping into confusion. “I’m fine,” he said glancing at his leg, “Jesus, you passed out and you’re worried about me? After I…” He bit his lip again before tentatively reaching out and touching your leg. It was light and uncertain, the only physical contact he’d allow himself, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. That went too far and I should have stopped it sooner. I should have realised. I should have…” his hands tightened on your knee, “why didn’t you safeword?” “What?” “Your safeword. Why didn’t you use it?” His eyes were wide with hurt and confusion, staring at you, waiting for an answer you didn’t want to admit to. “What’re you looking at me like that for?” You moved your leg, his hand falling away as you pulled your knees up to your chest, “Pretty sure I’m the one that blacked out.” “Are you fucking kidding me? You do understand why we have the safeword right? It’s there specifically so you can tell me to stop when things get too much. So why the fuck did you collapse like that? You should never have got to that point.” He pushed himself off the bed, stalking to the other end of the room as he dragged his fingers through his hair. If he hadn’t moved you would have cringed away from the sharpness his voice took on. “You didn’t stop either,” “I know, Y/N, believe me I fucking know,” he turned back to face you, voice softening with his face, “I got too caught up in it and stopped checking in on you and that shouldn’t have happened. I fucked up. But so did you. I’m not a fucking mind reader. You should have told me it was too much. Why didn’t you tell me?” You dropped your head, focusing on your hands in your lap, fingers twisting together, agitated  and anxious, “I didn’t….” “Y/N, please look at me.” Slowly you raised your eyes to his face, unsure how to get the words out. “Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” You took a deep breath, “I didn’t want to disappoint you,” “Disappoint me?” “I was scared that if you knew I couldn’t handle it you’d be disappointed and you’d get bored of me. I just want to be enough for you.” “Y/N, I’m not…. Never. That would never happen.” You could hear his steps as he slowly came back towards the bed, as if you were a skittish animal he didn’t want to scare off. He gently sat down again, reaching out to brush his fingertips over your cheek as he looked you in the eye, “Needing to use your safeword or telling me that something doesn’t feel right is never going to disappoint me.” “Even when it’s something you’re really excited about?” “Even then. None of this is fun if you’re not enjoying it. And I’m not just talking about when we try stuff like this or the restraints or spanking or whatever else. I mean any sex at all. Even regular old missionary. If something doesn’t feel right to you, I want you to tell me.” “Are you angry?” He sighed, “No I’m not Angry. I’m upset with myself for not looking after you properly. And I’m upset that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t speak up and that you were afraid to be honest with me about what you need. And I’m upset about how bad that got. The way you just collapsed against me was terrifying and I never want anything like that to happen again. But I’m not angry.” “I’m sorry, Rog.” “Hey, hey, it’s alright,” he said softly, catching a fresh tear on his thumb, “We’ll both try harder in the future, okay?” You nodded as you let your body relax against his, wrapping your arms around Roger as he hugged you tight.

[pancakebutton]

Teacher X Reader Part II

Summary: Your teacher is having a hard time keeping it together with you constantly on his mind. Teaching your class period is when it gets the worst, sometimes he has to step out of the room just to recompose himself. It’s beginning to be the same for you, even when you hang out with your new friends, he is always in the back of your mind. And one of your new friends wants to get a little too close for your teachers comfort.

Warnings: Foul Language

Word Count: 13,250

Genre: Romance, Slice of Life, Sexual, Series.

Pairing: Insert Teacher X Reader

Masterlist

Part One

.

God why the hell did she have to be so beautiful.

It had only been a week. One week is all it took for this girl to drive me insane! I pushed the stack of papers on my desk aside knowing there was no way I could get through them, especially now. I couldn’t help it anymore, this week’s pent-up special tension made my cock swell from the dirty thoughts I had for her. And that Matt kid is the worst of it, he’s been relentlessly flirting with (Y/n) every day up until now. I knew if it were my way, she’d be bent over my desk this second.

I stood from that very desk and gathered my things, I had to quickly get home, my body-no my cock ached to be touched. Right before I made it out the door to my truck a familiar voice stopped me.

“Hey (T/n)! Going home already? Finally got done with those quizzes huh?”

Madeline Crossland. Or Miss C for short, she’s the English teacher across the hallway from me and she has been driving me crazy since I’ve gotten here.

“Misses Crossland, ha, so nice to see you again. How’s the vocab card grading?”

“You’re avoiding my questions (T/Nickname), why in such a rush?”

“Just a little tired. Especially since I’m not used to getting up so early, it being by first year and all, also please don’t call me that Miss it’s not formal”.

She looked a little displeased at my last remark but I could honestly care less.

“Oh (T/Nickname) I thought we were friends? Well I could help you settle in with some dinner, how about that new place downtown?”

“I’m a little preoccupied at the moment Miss Crossland. Goodnight”.

I didn’t wait for a response as I pushed past the door and walked towards my beloved truck. But of course she followed, that’s just the type of person she is, however this time she wasn’t taking no for an answer. Madeline then ran in front of me and blocked me from walking away, “look (T/n) I’ll cut to the chase, I think you’re attractive and my type and I know you’re single so stop beating around the bush and just give me one night”.

I sighed, “I’m sorry Madeline, but I just don’t feel the same way. Plus, I’m not looking for a one night stand”. After that I pushed myself through her superficial barrier, got into my truck, and quickly drove off.

Ugh I hate whores like her who think they’re entitled to every man they look at just because they think they’re attractive.

This then only got my blood pumping again. My mind crept into the depths of my thoughts that held endless fantasies about (Y/n). Who was I kidding, she’s barely about to be eighteen and with a student to teacher relationship it would never work out. Maybe I should have taken up Madeline’s offer just to keep her off my mind.

Stupid (T/n) what are you thinking! I’m supposed to be the one she looks to for help not to fuck. Ugh, maybe just keeping to my thoughts and fantasies are what’s best and I shouldn’t act on them.

But damn did she not make that statement easy.

.

I scanned over my notecards one more time, double checking I knew every answer to every question.

Amendment eight; right to no cruel or unusual punishments, fifteen; right to vote, twenty-fifth; presidential disability and-

“I knew you were a good student Miss Maine, but I hope you don’t find my quizzes that hard”.

I look up to a smiling Mr. (T/C), amused at my pre-test study situation.

“Good morning (T/C), and no but I always doubt myself into thinking I don’t know anything. Also did you see Matthews’ goal last night? What beauty!”

Mr. (T/C) simply laughed that basically dunked my panties in a bucket of water every time.

“He’s the man Miss Maine I can tell you that eh.” He then clapped his hands, grabbing everyone’s attention.

“Alright class ready for that quiz?”

Everyone except me groaned in response.

That quiz was my first one-hundred percent and I felt as if I were floating on the moon when Mr. (T/C) beamed when he saw my score. It’s so hard not to think of him, at first I just thought he was a chill teacher and don’t get me wrong, he is, but I’ve slowly found more and more things enticing about him.

I wouldn’t call it stalking, I just so happened to be in the right place at the right moment. Like how when I was picking up my little sister from middle school, I saw him slowly pass me in the school zone in his shiny, gorgeous, white truck. So now I know where he parks. Or how Mr. Rielly, one of Mr. (T/C)’s close friends, was talking to my math teacher about how he so happens to be single. Small things.

Morgan is what snapped me out of thought.

“Hey (Y/n), the guys are gonna go out to Stella’s tonight, Al’s treatin’, it’ll be fun you should come. Kaitlyn offered to take everyone.”

“I guess why not, got nothin’ else to do.”

And so I was then rushed into a nice looking black SUV packed with my closest friends. We were only halfway through the semester as winter was coming close.

Music blared through the speakers and we all were basically screaming the lyrics.

“I KEEP IT JUICY JUICY, I EAT THAT LUNCH, SHE KEEP THAT BOOTY BOOTY, SHE KEEP THAT PLUMP!”

I couldn’t help but laugh, these people were the ones that truly made me happy and it was nice to have a night out. Luckily for passerby’s, we finally stopped screaming bloody murder as we had arrived at the sit-in restaurant.

We walked in as Allen and Matt began greeting people over the counter. Anyone could tell they were close friends with the owner, and managed to squeeze us in a good spot at the back where it was quieter. We sat down, ordered our food, got drinks, and began conversing amongst ourselves. Occasionally someone would say a joke to the whole group and we’d all laugh along, but I mostly talked to Mo and Matt.

“So Matts, when does high school hockey start here?”

“Oh here in a few weeks, I’m so excited to be back on the ice, you’ll come to my games right? You know hockey is better seen in person and not on your phone.”

“Oh haha, but yes I’ll gladly come watch the other teams whoop your ass Williams.”

“Puhlease (Y/L/N) you don’t even know how to play hockey.”

“But I sure as hell know how to watch it.”

He chuckled in an obviously flirtatious way. I could tell our little jabs at each other meant more than we were letting on. It was obvious he was flirting with me because he liked me, the problem? He’s sweet and totally handsome, it’s just he seems more like a brother than a boyfriend. I just hope he doesn’t think I’m leading him on.

I take a bite into my burger and look up to see Mr. (T/C) with a drink in hand by the bar with a few of his buddies. They were watching the Leafs play the Jets and I caught a glimpse of his eyes quickly dart away from our direction. I nearly choked on a piece of hamburger at the site. There stood Mr. (T/C) in all his glory, after teasing me about every loss my team had faced, here he was in a Maple Leafs Jersey.

Honestly it was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen him wear, and I love a man in uniform. He looked back over, this time directly at me, and I smirked in such utter cockiness I could have been a Bruins fan. He smiled meekly and pointed down at his jersey that just fit him so well. I could tell he was laughing and turned around, there on the back was the name ‘Matthews’ and it really did surprise me.

That’s why he likes me so much.

I smiled to myself at the memory that I would keep in my mind forever. I smiled through our meal, our way back home, and when I got in bed, gently falling asleep.

The next morning when Mr. (T/C) greeted me at the door, the first words out of my mouth were:

“Did you see Matthews’ hat trick last night? I bet you loved that.”

“And I bet there is no way they are winning against Tampa tonight.”

“What’s the prize?”

“Whatever you want.”

.

“What if we spiced the assembly’s up a little bit?”

I was sitting next to Allen in our leadership class, we were basically the ones who organized all school social events like homecoming, prom, dances, candy grams, bake sales, rose giving, that sort of thing. One of our newest projects was to help the principal with the assembly’s and he wanted more involvement from the students.

So who better to go to? Me and Allen were basically the brightest social lites in the room. Allen with basically half the entire school on his snap, mostly girls to fuck, but still people. To others I was extroverted, loud, fun to be around, but only my closest friends knew I was really the exact opposite. So who better to lead it?

“I would like to volunteer myself to lead the assembly Mrs. Schroeder, I have some friends who would love to help out too and I have a lot of ideas for the assembly.”

“Well let’s hear em Williams.”

The day of the assembly quickly came as the obnoxiously large gym and risers were filled with hundreds of students of all ages. After principal Dubois settled the room, he handed the microphone over to me and I’d do the rest, “give it up for Matthieu Williams!” The gym then was filled with applause as the lights dimmed, popular music boomed, and smoke machines and lights went off.

“Good morning Rochester High!”

A smattering applause followed.

“Thank you all for participating in our first spirit week here at our school, with freshman white.”

Part of the freshman class stood to cheer but cringely fell short.

“Sophomores red.”

The entire sophomore class boomed in comparison to their lower classmen.

“Juniors blue.”

The junior class rivaled the sophomores of course.

“And seniors red, white, and blue!”

And though the senior class was the smallest, they managed to out-do the other classes.

“Now at the end of the assembly we have asked our counselors to judge the classes spirit based on a point system that includes: the loudest, the most inclusion of color, the most participation, best cooperation, and bonus points that will be determined with smaller competitions lead by none other than the stunning (Y/n) (Y/L/N)!”

The entire gym exploded with cheers. I had briefly looked over at (Y/n) to see her smiling. Good.

“I’ll hand it over to her then.”

I handed the microphone to (Y/n) and her bubbly personality shone through her voice.

“Good morning Rockets!”

While the students applauded again, a spotlight slowly began to appear and move around.

“Now, our football team is about to head off to face our rivals today...the Skyview Hawks!”

A wave of boos followed as our mascot ran onto the gym floor followed by a student sloppily dressed as a hawk.

“Lets cheer on our mascot Rocket Richard as he beats Hathaway the Hawk like our football team will tonight!”

The “fight” had obviously been staged so Richard won but you could almost feel the excitement and adrenaline flowing throughout the room that only made us crazier. After the match more wrestling mats were rolled out along the gym floor.

“Now for our next event, I need your guys’ help. I need a boy and a girl from each class to come down to the center of the gym floor with me please!”

As expected, the most athletic and popular students from each class came down.

“We also have a fun surprise for ya, they weren’t told this, but I also need the following teachers and administrators to the center too! Mrs. Hansen, Mr. (T/C), Mr. McKinney, Miss Crossland, Mr. and Mrs. Sikes, Principal Dubois, and Vice Principal Mr. Ladel!”

This was Kaitlyn’s idea. A student versus teacher competition would most certainly rally everyone especially when you take the most popular teachers. The lights then came back on so everyone could see the set up we had.

“Now everyone will have a partner who helps them in this race. First, one person will start back here at the end of the court, run to the center, pick up a basketball and shoot it. After they make one shot they must run back where their partner will be in a sleeping bag and they will have to drag them down and back.

Then, they will be placed in front of those tables filled with delicious food and will have to eat all of it. They then go to their respected classes and take a selfie with them. And lastly they must be sitting in chairs that will be set in the middle, there are only twelve chairs so four people will be kicked out.”

The students then “oooo’d” in excitement. Then the teams lined up with their partners in sleeping bags behind them. I noticed Mr. (T/C) ready to go with his other senior teacher Mrs. Hansen behind him. Then a buzzer went off to start the race, and damn it was intense. At the end a teacher threw a student right before they sat on a chair, and the senior students came in first, but that wasn’t the end of the competition.

“Now for a fun game of musical chairs!”

Everyone laughed and cheered as the students and teachers walked around the chairs in a circle. When it was just Mr. (T/C) and a popular freshman left, Mr. (T/C) pulled the chair right under the kid and stole it from him. It was hilarious tons of people were bent over or on the ground laughing their asses off. I knew this would be great.

“Thank you all for participating and congratulations to the cheater Mr. (T/C), any words?”

“I did what I had to do.”

This made everyone laugh even harder if that was even possible.

“And now for the spirit competition results!”

A random counselor passed a paper over to (Y/n) and she opened it.

“...And the winners are...The Seniors!!!!!”

[thecurseoflife]

CHAPTER 4 - Science and Magic

In only two and a half month, Varian and Camalia made eachothers very important in their respective life. But to be honest, since they were stuck together all the time, for someone with a normal schedule, it would have been more of a year of knowing someone rather than two months. The two were very close and they spent most of their time with eachother. They did kept secrets, but they both agreed it was important to have at least a glimpse of privacy. So, when Camalia was leaving for an entire day and part of a night before coming back drained and tired, Varian never said anything. Or when Varian was working on this idea he had back when Camalia had her first periods, the music mage never asked any questions. They would be lying if they said they weren't curious, but they wanted to respect their privacy.

But when you live all the time with someone, secrets and privacy become polar opposites.

If someone would know everything that was going on, it would be Ruddiger. The raccoon was either with Varian or Camalia. And strangely enough, they were always saying everything to him. He didn't really understand why, but sure didn't mind being the one that knew more than others. Some night, he would follow Camalia to the forest, and behind the biggest tree, near a cliff, he would watch her working on... something, before rehearsing a song. She often mumbled things such as "Yeah, that should break it" or "Is it really from my heart ?" and some time even "Oh god, what if this doesn't work out". To be honest, Ruddiger had no idea what she was working on, it was really a blur. But when they head back to the prison, Camalia often talked to the raccoon. She would explain how it had to be it. How she would have no idea what to do if it didn't work. How she worked on that for years. How she could finally get rid of them. That last part always kind of triggered him. He just hoped she wasn't talking about Varian and him.

Talking about him, Varian was really, really easy to read, the complete contrary of Camalia. Everytime the music mage was off to take a bath or work on her weird project, the alchemist would work on a way to erase everyone memories. It was the big idea he had when Camalia talked about how Masha had to look past his mistakes to see the real him. If there wasn't any mistakes, there was nothing to look past of ! He would work with all the tools Ruddiger gave him when he went out with the guitare girl. The raccoon listened hours of the alchemist talking about how it was a great idea, trying to reassure himself more than actually talking to his pet. He would also make countless tries with him, which always ended up with failing. But Varian didn't lose hope. But he was afraid of Camalia's reaction to this insane project, and he really didn't want to hear her say that this was crazy and that he shouldn't be doing this. So he kept it a secret.

KEEP READING UNDER THE CUT

This day, Camalia was out working on that thing again, and Varian was all alone in the prison, studying books about the human mind and trying to make a memory wiper. Thanks to the music mage, he had now a table, and even in the tight space of the jail, it was really useful, especially to do alchemy. Or hot cocoa. He took a sip of the one he made before starting to work. He yawned, it was getting late, and even if he could work at night now since they found a lantern, he still needed sleep.

-Just one more, I'm sure this one is going to work.

After a long hour of work, the mixture was ready. Maybe not to wipe memories, but it was ready. He just had to test it out first. He looked around and spotted a small sprout of grass growing in a dark place of the cell. He walked up to it and poured a little bit of the brownish liquid on it. The grass didn't seem to react at first. Then it turned black and crumbled away. Varian sighed and put the beaker on the table beside his cup of cocoa.

-Okay, I think I know what is wrong this time ! This is easy, I just have to...

The alchemist started to work again, confident and very tired. He yawned for the third time in the same five minutes and thought that maybe the cocoa would keep him awake. Still in the head in his work, he searched for the cup with his hand and drunk it all as soon as he catched it. But it had a very, very weird taste. Varian frowned and put the cup in front of his eyes. A cold sweat ran down his spine when he saw that the beaker was in his hand. And the cup, still filled with hot cocoa, wisely waiting on the table. He staggered backward, his vision became blurry and he felt his strength leaving. He fell on the ground, unable to move as he dived into unconsciousness.

Camalia had spent a lot of time working on her project, but Ruddiger had been really useful, she was glad she took him with her. When she entered the castle, everything was dark, and she only crossed the path of old lady Crawly, that just greeted her with a mumble. The music mage was in a great mood. She actually worked really well that day, and with a lot of luck, it should be ready on time. She strechted and yawned as she was taking the stairs to the prison. She was really tired and couldn't wait to meet her pillow with a satisfied sigh.

-Ball, I'm back !

She walked in the corridor, waiting for Varian to greet her as usual, but only the silence answered. She knew he wasn't asleep, the lantern in his cell was still on. Well, even if it did happens that he fell asleep while working.

-Ball, you're asleep ?

Still no answer. Ruddiger and Camalia exchanged a look before the raccoon hoped down and ran to the cell. When he got there his eyes widened and he let out a scared squeal. He came back to Camalia and pushed her forward, with hurry in his eyes. The music mage felt her throat tighten. She had a terrible feeling about this. Her legs were heavy but it didn't stop her.

-Varian ?

When she got there, she felt numb. Varian was on the ground, a broken... vial beside him. Everything on the table had fallen, and the only thing that catched Camalia's eyes was a cup of hot cocoa, full, and the empty vial, well, beaker, with a drop of brown liquid. She opened the cell with trembling hands, praying whoever she could that he was just asleep. She threw herself beside him and took his hand, listenning to his heartrate... if there still was one. Thank the king, there was. But it was... it was slowing down.  Camalia felt sick, way, way worse that when she had the periods. She let herself fell, still holding Varian's hand, and feeling his heart dying so painfully slowly. She couldn't breath, couldn't see, couldn't hear. Her world at that instant was the oh so slow beat she could feel in her hand. Ruddiger forcefully pulled her out of her trance and pointed at the empty beaker than at Varian, and then crossed his arms.

-Y-yes, right. Sorry Ruddiger, you're right, I have to pull myself together. Okay, okay, I-I can fix this. Think Camalia, for the love of all music mages. Think think... Okay, so he took some kind of... of poison. So the melody of heal won't work. Okay hum... Ruddiger, this might help, do you know what he was making ?

The raccoon nodded and took one of Varian's chalk. He drew people and the symbole of Corona above them. Everyone was angry at a replica of the alchemist. Camalia turned to the real one with worry before coming back to the drawings. The people was pointing at him, and they were talking about what he had done. Then Varian threw a mixture to the bubble where the drawing of his past was, and suddenly everything disappeared and they forgave him. Ruddiger stopped drawing and looked up at the music mage.

-A... He wants to... Oh man WHY are you so freackingshly dumb Varian ! Ok, he wants to wipe everyone memories, that's right ?

The raccoon nodded quickly.

-Okay, I have to breath. Camalia, you definitely don't have time to be absolutely MAD at him. Breath. What should I do. Alright, first, Ruddiger I want you to keep me updated about the state of his heartrate, can you do that ?

Ruddiger started to protest but one glare of Camalia made him obey. He taped at the rythm of Varian's heartbeat. It was a lot more slow than what the music mage anticipated. She pulled herself together and started to think. Varian had to drink the poison, so it was in his veins, and the melody of heal only worked on what it could touch. She had to make an anti-poison, but had no knowledge of it, and they didn't have time to go look for what they needed. They had to do with what they had. Camalia turned to the alchemist tools and started look through his stuffs,  not really knowing what she was looking for. She saw Varian's books on the human mind, and pointed them at Ruddiger with an angry look. It wasn't really important, but still. She did find something interesting. It was Masha's pain killer recipe. With the ingredients needed for it. The boy's heart rate was getting painfully slow, and he didn't have much longer. Camalia had to act, one way or another. She looked at the recipe, the ingredients and her guitare. She didn't have a choice. It was hit or miss. She took at deep breath and focused. She wiped the table of all the tools and started working, the slowing rythm of Ruddiger's feet following her in every single one of her movements.

It was all her fault. She should have been here. She shouldn't have given him that idea. She was guilty, and she should admit it. Isn't that right, Camalia ? If you didn't talked to him, maybe he wouldn't have this stupid idea. If you were there tonight, you could have stopped him from drinking that. If you two talked to eachothers, if could have worked out. But you didn't because you're scared and weak. You're disgusting. Camalia slammed her fist on the table, and hold her head, hoping it could keep them away. It was getting stronger, she'll probably go through a crisis very soon. But now was not the time to worry about it. The pain killer was done. She took her guitare and played the melody of healing, concentrating in the medicine. The green fog fell on it, before disappearing. The alchemist heartrate was so slow that Ruddiger had to hold his feet in the air to be sure to keep up.

-Okay, Ruddiger, it's done. I don't know if this will work, but it better be.

Ruddiger crossed his fingers... paws... things and Camalia had a weak smile. She held Varian's head and made him drink the medicine.

-Please, please make it work. Please... Please Varian, wake up.

The raccoon still had the alchemist's hand in his paw. He suddenly had a happy squeal and started taping quickly on the floor. Camalia allowed all the relief go through her body and she let out a very nervous laugh. She thanked every single person she could think of, you never know. A noise from the boy pulled her out of her prayers. He was waking up, sitting and looking very confused. Ruddiger immediatly went on his shoulders and licked his face.

-Hey Ruddiger ! Gross ! What has gotten into you ?!

He was tackled by the music mage warm and tight hug. Feeling his heart happily beating in his chest while he was completly lost about what was going on was probably going to stay with the girl forever. Suddenly the whole situation hitted Camalia back in the face and she pushed him back and properly slapped him.

-Okay now I am really, really confused ! What did I do to deserve that ?!

An insane giggle crossed the girl's mouth.

-Oh, oh you want to know what you did, uh ? Wow, never heard a bigger joke than that ! Hilarious ! Can't overthrow such an hilarious JOKE !

Ruddiger hid behind Varian's back, which was trying to stop the burn in his cheek where his friend slapped him. He was lost and a bit angry that point. He held Camalia's look.

-What's wrong, Camalia ? What did I do ? Why are you mad at me ?

She took him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him centimeters from her face.

-What is wrong, Varian, is that you tried to do MAGIC with SCIENCE and it obviously blew up in your face. And do you have ANY IDEA how I felt when I came back to see you lying on the floor ?! I thought you DIED ! And when I look closer, oh wait it's fine, you're not dead, you are in AGONY. You are the only friend I have and I'll really, really hate to lose you. Ugh, I can't believe you were so... so RECKLESS !

-What are you talking about ?!

-I know Varian. I know what you want to do.

Varian's angry face fell and he suddenly looked very guilty and worried. The music mage took that as a confession. She was still insanely angry at him for many, oh lord so many good reasons, but his look forced her to let him back on the ground. But it wasn't enough to stop her from pouring her heart out.

-I was terrified Varian ! I-I didn't know what to do, and you were... you were dying two feet away from me ! And do you know WHY you were dying ? Because you were stupid and reckless and crazy enough to do this ! And... and I didn't know ! I didn't and you could have DIED because of that. I want you to feel guilty and to-to deeply understand what just happened. Because I am not, I am NEVER going through that EVER AGAIN ! I never want to ! N-Never...

At this point, Camalia was crying, and rivers were flooding down her face. All the pressure was going down. The alchemist was looking anywhere but his friend, avoiding her burning glare.

-I knew it... I knew that you would think I am crazy...

-YES ! Obviously ! You don't do memories wiper with ALCHEMY ! It's magic stuffs !

The last words sunk into Varian as he lightened up. He turned to her, still unsure.

-Wait, you mean you don't think my project is crazy ? It's... it's just my method ?

-Of course ! I mean, I don't have a melody to erase memories, but I know a lot of magical artefacts that does that, and I was in a prison for ten years, so-

She couldn't finish her sentence, cut by the alchemist's hug. She was really surprised and didn't react until he broke it and looked at her right in her green eyes, gratitude and a growing friendship shining in his.

-Now you got ME confused. She joked.

He giggled, but the sparkle in his eyes didn't leave. When they cleaned up everything while joking around, when they finally drank that ho- that cold cocoa, when they sat down on his bed to talk about it, it didn't leave. They talked about how keeping secrets actually put them in danger, especially in an empty prison. They talked about Varian's plan, and how to improve it. Camalia jumped on the occasion to underline what she already said : that he really, oh man, did he really, REALLY needed to be more careful with alchemy. And that next time he has a plan like this, he had to talk about it to someone before doing anything, to prevent any new... accidents. He was really embarrassed to be scolded by his friend, even if he could see he needed it. So he listenned. And even then, the light didn't leave his eyes. Then they talked about her secret, what she's been hiding when she went in the forest.

-Well, I-I was practicing melodies.

Varian seemed surprised and a bit sad that she didn't want to test her melodies out with him in those hangouts afternoon they had. Ruddiger, on the other hand, was looking at the music mage with concern. He saw them on all those times they shared to analyze Camalia's melodies, and it had nothing to do with what he saw in the wood. She wasn't practicing melodies, she was building something and writing a song. He didn't know why, but he knew that she shouldn't be lying to him, especially at that moment. Clearly, his master was ready to open up more, and to put all his trust in her. It was a really, really bad time to lie. But the raccoon didn't do anything. He saw things in the forest that made him believe that it probably was for the best. Plus, if the guitare girl was ready to take the consequencies of her actions, then so it'll be.

-After the grass episode, I thought it would be better if I try melodies before we are stuck to the ceiling until our last breath.

-So we can keep testing them together ? Lightenned up the boy.

-Yes, of course !

They smiled to eachothers and a comfortable silence installed itself. Varian was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling while Camalia was sitting on the ground. That's why the alchemist didn't see what happened. Ruddiger approached the music mage and pulled her pants to catch her attention before angrily looking at her. The girl avoided his glare, guilt on her face. The raccoon realized she felt really terrible for lying to her friend at that moment. But in her eyes, he could see she didn't have a choice. The animal sighed and patted her knee, earning a smile from the guitare girl. He went on her lap and decided to rest there, a bit bumped out by what was going on. He couldn't believe that between the two humans, he was the one that knew more. Come to think of it, it wasn't really the best thing. A red and juicy apple landed in front of him and his thoughts magically disappeared. He jumped on it and started happily eating it, while Camalia, that gave him the fruit, was petting him absentely.

-Camalia... I-I think I am ready to talk about what brought me here. I mean, really talk about it.

Varian sat on the bed, looking at her with gratitude, friendship and complete trust. The music mage throat tighten seeing that, but she didn't let anything slip on her face. She smiled and sat beside him without saying anything, patiently waiting for him to begin. He took a deep breath and started.

-Everything started when I met the princess, Rapunzel...

FIRST / PREVIOUS / NEXT

[apveng]

Kara Oh Kara

Here is the fourth part of my story. The first part, Khao-Shuh, is here. Second part, Why Do You Need Supergirl, Anyways?, is here. The third, She Is Not Kara, Damn It, is here.

*********************************************************************************

“That was so much fun. I had missed this.” She heard Barry say before pausing and adding. “Ugh! I mean, of course you are not… you know…”.

“It is okay.” S’lynn assured him, her voice full of sympathy. “It happens.”

Alex sighed and shook her head. They are not supposed to be talking so openly about

that which shall not be voiced

. A good thing they were in the lab and she had made sure it was completely bug proof.

Barry didn’t wait around for long before he left. It must be hard for all of them-- Barry, Kate and everyone else--to work with S’lynn and realise how good she is at imitating their friend.

She was working day and night—at least whatever time she could steal from Hope—on SK to spare them as much pain as she could. She was already halfway through. She had tested her solution on a few of M’gann’s troops and so far, the failure rate was 30%. Some aspects of the test’s criteria are working. She just needed to finetune the others.

If only M’gann, for reasons beyond Alex’s comprehension, hadn’t pulled S’lynn from the project a couple of days back. M’gann had said that S’lynn’s involvement as a test subject would be a drag on the league’s activities as well as on SK. Yet, strangely enough, there didn’t seem to be any reduction in the time S’lynn spent with her.

No, not with her. But in the lab.

Alex let out a long breath.

Whatever.

She had gone through two weeks of this and she would be able to do a few more. And, since her revelation last week, it had been easy for her to just tune out S’lynn unless she was getting some data from her. Even when working closely together, it was easy now to see her as just another colleague.

“Ouch!”

“Alex, what happened?” S’lynn was by her side in an instant, looking at her bleeding palm in alarm.

The expression tugged at her heart.

She is not Kara, Danvers. Focus.

“It is just a small cut.” She answered. “And, it is my fault. I had brought that knife to check for something and forgot to put it back.”

“It is okay. You are working so hard.” S’lynn said in that soothing voice Kara employed all the times Alex had been hurt.

Oh, Rao! Not again.

“Do you want me to call Brainy? I mean, Director Dox?”

“What? No. I can take care of this.” Alex replied absently as she examined her palm. “Just do as I direct.”

“Okay.”

To her surprise, S’lynn pulled on a pair of gloves—no, not one pair, but two—before helping her with the cut. She hadn’t known her new colleague was a germaphobe. And, when did she get the first aid kit?

Alex eyed S’lynn as she tied up the bleeding palm.

What was with the look on her face?

That concerned expression was so Kara, it hurt. And, not the concern Kara had for other people either. No, this was the look Kara reserved for Alex.

How had she figured that out?

S’lynn was wearing gloves, so Alex couldn’t even touch the bare skin to ground herself. Thankfully, after her revelation last week, there had been only a couple of times when she had needed that. Not any in the past couple of days. Now, her winning streak seemed to be over.

S’lynn stepped back from her. “How does it feel?”

Alex looked at her hand. “Well, I am okay, now.” She examined her colleague with something akin to admiration. “I didn’t know you were a medic as well.” The first aid had been administered with the expert hands of a physician or a nurse. Surprising given S’lynn’s obvious discomfort with touching a bloody hand.

S’lynn coloured and murmured. “I learnt quite a lot of things on the field.” She moved away to fiddle at a microscope at the other end of the lab.

Great! Now, how am I going to touch her?

With a sigh, Alex returned to her work. She would just have to find some other way to deal with her unease. May be, this was for the best. She was getting too used to having a real-time temperature (and heart if she was honest) check. It was time she got over it.

Hopefully, there won’t be many more of these episodes in the next couple of weeks. By then, they would be ready to root out infiltrators and from there, it should be a short path to freedom.

**********************************************************************************

“She is so like Kara, it is unbelievable.”

Alex looked over at where S’lynn was playing with Hope, Nia, Brainy and Maeve’s five-year old, Aram. They were all at Kelly and Jaya’s for a game night. J’onn and M’gann had insisted and ignored all of Alex’s protests. Apparently, it was necessary for their cover.

“Yeah?” She poured herself a glass of coke and, for the first time in years, wished that it was something stronger. “Well, I find it very easy to tell them apart. I told you Kel.”

She couldn’t keep her eyes on her daughter playing with the stranger. It hurt too much. If she had been sensible, it might have been Kara.

Because of her, Kara will never see Hope; Hope will never get to grow up in the comforting arms of one of the best people in the universe.

Kelly reached over and took the glass Jaya poured her. “Yes, Alex. You told me. She doesn’t look at you the way Kara looks at you.” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I have seen the way Kara looks at you.” She shrugged. “And, I didn’t see a difference tonight.”

Alex grimaced. “I am sorry, Kel.”

“Come on.” Kelly said squeezing her shoulder. “Water under the bridge. That is not my point. The point is, I can’t tell them apart.”

Alex laughed. “She has been training, that is why. Besides, who knows Kara best, you or I?”

Jaya touched Kelly. “If you guys were hoping to fool anyone, you aren’t doing a great job of it. Discussing confidential details so openly, really honey?” She rubbed Kelly’s shoulder and murmured something into her ear.

Whatever she said, Kelly changed the subject. Thank God!

Alex’s eyes moved to observe J’onn and M’gann. They were sitting with Will and Andrea, chatting and talking; occasionally calling out a word to the others. It gladdened Alex’s heart to see them so happy in each other’s company. At least, something good came out of this fiasco.

As she watched, J’onn called over something to Nia and then stood up. “Alright everyone. We are here for game night, so let us start.” He smiled down first at S’lynn—who looked a bit too excited for Alex’s taste—and then at the kids. “The kids are waiting.”

Alex wondered at his obvious affection for S’lynn. It wasn’t pretense. She could see that.

They must have known each other from Mars.

“I pick Querl.” Nia said before anybody could say anything. “And Jaya.”

“Will and I are a team. And pick Aram as our third.” Andrea declared. Before Alex could get a word in edgewise, M’gann had picked J’onn and Kelly. She was left with S’lynn and Hope. How had that happened?

“Why are we teaming up as couples?” She protested. “That is not fair, and it is not fun.”

“We are not all couples, Alex.” Andrea pointed out. “You and Kara…”, she barely stumbled at the name, “are not a couple. Neither are J’onn and M’gann.”

S’lynn came over to her and nudged her shoulders. “Come on. It will be fun. I am not a bad partner.”

Alex rolled her eyes. They barely knew each other. What kind of partners would they be?

Hope tugged at her hands. And smiled at her with all the light in the world reflected in her grey eyes. “Kara is wonderful, Mommie. We will win, I am sure. Don’t worry.”

She gave in. “Okay.”

Soon they were seated around the table in the living room, Hope in S’lynn’s lap—refusing Alex’s offer of her own arms (the girl would surely be the death of her)—S’lynn by Alex’s side and everyone else arranged as per their teams.

The first round was going to be a jeopardy style quiz. Each team had to select a member and they had to provide the answer on something related to other members of the team.

Used to the insanity—despite her reticence, she was dragged to one of these nights every few months—Alex tuned out.

Mostly.

She only paid attention when she heard Kelly ask S’lynn, “Alex’s favourite movie.” A lost point, that. She would have to console Hope.

“Terminator III.” S’lynn answered instantly. Alex’s head jerked up at the answer. “How did you know that?”

“What?” S’lynn looked confused, then to Alex’s surprise, fearful.

“How did you know the name of my favourite movie?” Alex asked coolly. She didn’t like her privacy invaded.

“I must have heard it somewhere.” Was the vague answer. Before she could pursue the matter further, J’onn provided the explanation. “I told her Alex. It was best to give her some personal details.”

“Right.” S’lynn bobbed her head vigorously. “J’onn told me.”

Alex threw a glare at J’onn. Hope reached over and pulled at her arm. “Mommie, what is wrong? We won.”

Pushing away her irritation, she smiled at her child. “Yes, precious. We did.”

Alex watched like a hawk as the round went on. S’lynn answered most other answers incorrectly. As did she.

Naturally.

Even J’onn didn’t know everything about her. And, she barely knew S’lynn—Alex had glared every time S’lynn had acted as if Kara’s fact was her fact, so she had wised up and stopped doing that.

By the end, they were trailing others by a hundred points. Hope looked at the verge of tears, though she was valiantly trying to hold them back and comfort S’lynn for her missteps. And cheer Aram whose team had won.

Alex was proud of her daughter.

Eyeing their daughter, Jaya spoke up, smiling. “How about a last question? Aram’s team is of course the winner but may be our team and Hope’s can have a fight for the runner’s up, yes?” She rubbed her palms together. “Let us make the game exciting.”

This was why she liked Jaya. Despite coming into Hope’s life only two years back, Jaya could read Hope just as well as her and Kelly. And had an eye to Hope’s happiness as much as either of them. She couldn’t have wished for a better third mother for Hope.

Of course, that may not help this time, as it was Hope’s turn. And, how much could a five-year old know about her mother? Or, a stranger she has never met before. She prayed for an easy question. Something about her favourite colour, maybe.

Aram looking important, as only a five-year old could, stood up to ask his question. “What was Aunt Alex’s first school project?”

Damn!

Hope looked so sad, S’lynn spoke up. To what end, Alex had no idea. “You know, Aram. That was a great question. Wow!” she smiled at Aram. “Since it is so tough, could you allow Hope a helpful hint?”

“I don’t want a hint.” Hope said her voice determined. “It is not fair.”

The adults didn’t offer an out. Aram, after thinking about it, nodded, his little face full of a child’s generosity. “I am okay with that.” He looked at Hope. “It is only fair, Hope. You helped me last Thursday, remember?”

Bless the kids.

“However, Aunt Alex can’t help.” He added. “You can take help from Kara.” Nia reached over and patted her nephew’s hair. The kid did have a decent sense of justice and fair play.

The trouble though was that, they didn’t have a solution to the problem. Her daughter’s team would still be the loser.

Eh! Nothing to be done about it.

The kid and S’lynn moved away to discuss the answer. Alex couldn’t help an inward grimace at her daughter’s hopeful look. She prepared to comfort the kid, and then sat back stunned as she answered.

“A specimen of Mommie’s cat’s blood that she said was an alien species. Don’t worry Aram.” Hope added seriously. “She didn’t hurt the cat. Just took a few drops of blood from him using a needle and then gave him a sausage afterwards. She also, gave, what is that Kara? Some report.” The kid’s face brightened. “Blood group report. Grandma helped her.”

Alex didn’t catch the rest of what happened. She could only nod, dumbstruck, as Aram looked over at her to verify the answer was correct. The people were talking around her, but she didn’t hear anything.

How did S’lynn know that? J’onn couldn’t have told her. He couldn’t have known that little bit of her history himself.

She felt J’onn’s arm on her shoulder. “Your mother told me once long ago.” He nodded at S’lynn who was swinging an excited hope. “And, I projected the answer to S’lynn just now. I was touching her, remember?”

Breath, and life, returned to Alex. “J’onn, you shouldn’t have. That is cheating. Poor Aram.”

“Aram’s team still wins.” J’onn smiled. “I just didn’t want Hope’s evening ruined. It is just a game Alex. Let them enjoy.” He nodded at the kids. S’lynn was taking them on a triumphant progress around the living room; each seated on one of her shoulders. A feat none of her friends but the Martians could have managed.

The expression on her daughter’s face pulled at Alex’s heart.

It was so full of joy.

What would she tell her after a month when S’lynn returned to Mars?

How would she manage Hope’s disappointment?

*********************************************************************************

“What do you mean, I shouldn’t meet Hope again?” S’lynn exclaimed, her voice—Kara’s voice—full of indignation. It only irritated Alex.

“I meant that you shouldn’t.” She emphasized “shouldn’t” for good measure. “meet Hope.”

“Alex!” S’lynn seemed to be scrambling for a decent counter. At least, that is how it seemed to Alex though who knows, given that she was wearing Kara’s skin. Her own expressions might be different.

She pulled her thought back from that direction. It was a rabbit hole of suspicion and resentment. And for what? Only because her kid had taken to this woman as if she was her long-lost mother. In any case, that had nothing to do with her decision.

“Hope loves you. If you keep meeting her, she will get too attached. And, it will hurt her badly when you leave for Mars. I can’t have that. Besides, it is not like we hang out off work anyways.”

S’lynn’s face brightened. “Hope loves me?”

Alex frowned at her colleague. What has gotten into S’lynn? Where was the soldier she had met the first day? “Did you hear the part where I don’t want her to get hurt?” She turned away, unable to see the disappointment on that beloved face. “And, I didn’t mean she really loves you, loves you. She just met you.” She grimaced and allowed a concession. “But, she does seem to like you.”

“I won’t hurt her Alex.” S’lynn came back into her field of vision. “I promise.”

“It is not up to you.” Alex pointed out, this time meeting the sincere blue eyes. “When you leave, she will be hurt. And, I, and not just I, but Kelly and Jaya as well, can’t bear to see our kid hurt.”

As expected, S’lynn’s face fell. And, it hurt.

Alex asked, curiously. “What is it to you, anyways? She is just a strange kid to you.”

“She is such a lovely kid. She reminds me so much of myself, Alex.” Was the baffling answer.

“How could she remind you of yourself?”

“The way she struggles being part human and part alien. The way she needs to remember to not use superpowers in strange company…” S’lynn’s voice took on a distant tone. As if she were somewhere else. Or, lost in memories. “It is all so familiar.”

“I didn’t know you had noticed.” Bringing up a five-year old half alien, especially a half Kryptonian with such a wide range of powers, was tough; especially on the kid. Alex did have regular training sessions, as did Clark and his sons. Still, she knew that sometimes Hope messed up. Thankfully, never with any significant or visible consequences, even in school. But, keeping her powers to herself among people, even people that knew about her, was a strict rule Alex and her other mothers had impressed on her.

How had S’lynn noticed?

She pushed the question away. Five-year-olds make mistakes. It must be obvious to soldiers.

She didn’t know whether to feel gratified or bothered by S’lynn’s obvious affection and concern for Hope. She felt a bit of both. And, none of that really changed her mind. But, before that, “Why is being a halfling familiar to you?”

S’lynn appeared startled. It took her a while to answer. May be bringing up unwanted memories? “I had met a few halfling kids when I was younger.” The way S’lynn couldn’t meet her eyes told her all she needed to know about the pain the memories induced. “I had some friends who struggled growing up.”

Was she talking about kids with Green and White Martian parents? Must be when she knew J’onn.

“I am sorry.” She said after a small silence. “I am sorry for what your planet is going through. I really am. And, if I could help, I would. But, please. I cannot risk Hope’s happiness.”

S’lynn looked as if she was searching for an answer. She did find it, eventually. “It is necessary for Earth’s survival, Alex. You heard J’onn. We need to behave as if we are Alex and Kara, super team.”

“I am not convinced anyone would be checking such minutiae.” Alex countered.

S’lynn met her eyes steadily. “Can you be sure of that? Would you be willing to risk the planet—Hope’s life along with that—on that?”

Damn it!

“What am I going to tell her about you? I can’t tell her you are my colleague. I have never had her meet my colleagues. How will I explain your leaving to her if I tell her you are a friend?” Alex shook her head. “It is just too complicated.”

S’lynn gave a small smile. “Just tell her I am your girlfriend.” A curious expression flitted across her face. “If you tell her we broke up, she will understand the cultural connotations. Even kids pick that stuff up.”

Alex stared at S’lynn flabbergasted. “What? No. Pretend girlfriends, is that what we have come to?” She paced, with difficulty, in Kelly and Jaya’s small kitchen. “Besides, how will it even fool the enemies? Didn’t you say they know all about me and Kara? Kara is my sister.”

“Foster sister, adopted in your teens, isn’t that so?” The pointed nature of the question unsettled her. She had come to terms with her feelings long back. But, how could a stranger know?

S’lynn though wasn’t finished. “I am sorry.” Her expression sobered. “It is just that for my preparation, J’onn gave me a lot of details. He implied that you had feelings for Kara.” She paused and then added. “And, Kara for you.”

J’onn!!! When this was over, she and J’onn were going to have a long talk.

“Yes, I did have feelings for her.” Alex gritted out.

S’lynn looked into her eyes intently, moving with her when she tried to turn away. “Did or do? Do you still love…” She paused and then asked softly. “Do you still love Kara, Alex? Or, is it all in the past?” The blue eyes were full of an intensity that compelled Alex to confess the truth.

“Yes. I do love Kara.” She exclaimed. “Are you satisfied? What is it to you anyways? I don’t think Kara loves me. Not…” Her voice trembled. “That way.”

She took deep breaths to steady herself. God, this woman. She had just regained her equanimity, and now, it was gone again.

So much for the touch therapy. The intimacy of the question meant she couldn’t even bear to touch S’lynn now. She didn’t know what kind of signals it’d sent. How much it’d open her to ridicule.

“I am sorry.” S’lynn said softly, crouching to meet her eyes as she bent in half to find her bearings. “I know you are in pain. And, if I could…” She broke off, looked away for a moment, and then continued. “Alex, hold on for just a little while longer. Please.” Was that tenderness in the blue eyes? Surely, not.

“Why a little while longer?” She asked to buy time.

S’lynn looked hesitant, but then explained. “We—that is M’gann and I—think there is an infiltrator among the rebels. If our suspicions are correct, it could be bad Alex. That is the reason why we are risking Hope getting hurt and…well, a lot of other things.” She finished vaguely.

Infiltrator.

Alex looked at S’lynn suspiciously. Her behaviour had been pretty different this past week. In fact, ever since M’gann announced that she would not be a part of testing any more. Could she be?

“No, Alex! I can’t believe this.” S’lynn looked startled. “How can you think I am the infiltrator?”

Am I so easy to read?

Alex focused on the question at hand. “Well, your behaviour has changed since last week.” She opened her first finger. “You no longer allow me to touch you.” She circled S’lynn. “You have turned germ-phobic. Or, blood phobic.” Her third finger opened. “You were a professional soldier when I met you. Now, you act like one of the worst undercover agents ever.”

“What?” The voice was full of righteous indignation. “I can do undercover.”

Perhaps it was the familiar expression and voice, but that brought back memories.

Alex glared at her colleague. Or, was she the infiltrator? “You are different. I am not convinced you are the same S’lynn I met three weeks ago. What have you done with her?”

Her hands went to her hips.

Damn! She didn’t have her gun at the ready. She should have kept it. Now, her friends and her daughter might be in danger, and she could do nothing. She moved to the knife rack.

“There is no reason to panic.” S’lynn paused. “Alex. Please. I can prove to you that I am not an infiltrator.”

“How?” Alex kept a few feet between them and tensed her stance to move at a moment’s notice. She should have covered the door to the living room, but her position made it difficult.

“J’onn!” S’lynn exclaimed. “J’onn can prove it. You know that there is no pretense in mind meld. He can join with me and show you I am no infiltrator.” She raised her arms as if to prevent Alex from doing something stupid. “Just stay away from the knife. I know that you have figured out a way to join with J’onn too, so you could tell if J’onn is J’onn. May I call J’onn please?”

She had chanced up on the way to mind meld with J’onn when she had been searching for a mental block that kept empaths out. Thank God she had because in these times, it was her sanity.

She nodded.

It didn’t take long for J’onn to confirm that S’lynn was S’lynn and had no ill intent towards Alex, Hope, or her friends and family.

Finally, after he had gone back to the living room—raising his eyebrows at their lengthy hold out in the kitchen—S’lynn looked at Alex.

“So? Girlfriends?” S’lynn nudged her shoulder. “Come on. I could be fun.”

She could never say no to that hopeful expression. No matter how much she told herself it was not the real Kara.

“Pretend girlfriends.” She corrected. And, tried to ignore the little jig her heart did when S’lynn, in Kara’s form and voice, let out a little whoop.

“You know, I have to talk to Kelly and Jaya.” Alex said trying to curb her colleague’s baffling, if gratifying, enthusiasm.

S’lynn sobered. “Tell them it is very important for the planet.”

Alex snorted. Right. Kel will believe that. But, she knew S’lynn would bring in J’onn and M’gann to convince them. It was pretty much a done deal at this point.

She couldn’t wait for this trial—this pain as S’lynn called it—to be over.

**********************************************************************************

Notes: Hey! I took artistic liberty—in a fanfiction—and made Hope Half Kryptonian. 😊It was just easier and finding some other alien with heat vision.

[avengerscompound]

Finding Home - Chapter 2

Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)

Word Count:  3389

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)

Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?

Chapter 2

I sat waiting for Bucky to return or to not. I hoped that he wouldn’t. That maybe this time Steve would recognize him and say his name. That when he did, the trigger would work properly, and Bucky would go to him. I wasn’t sure how well my triggers would work though. I’d never tested them.

I was paged. He’d returned and my heart sank.

When I entered the room I could tell something was different about him. It was like he wasn’t totally the Winter Soldier. Bucky was there too. He looked at me panicked and he lashed out at one of the men working on him. The tech flew across the room and fell to the floor unconscious. An alarm was sounded, and soldiers filed into the room.

“Adams! What are you doing? Calm him!” Brian yelled at me.

“Soldier, relax,” I said, holding my hand out to him. I pressed the thought calm to him and as I approached. He seemed to relax for a minute, and suddenly he lunged at me dragging my body against his, holding me by my throat with his metal hand.

“Bu – Soldier!” I yelped. I pushed calm on him, and at the same time, I thought ‘Bucky, please. What happened?’

It helped but only a little. He didn’t let me up, but I didn’t feel like I was going to be murdered. He wouldn’t reply though. Not with his thoughts, nor with his voice. I relaxed against him. Partly just so he might relax too, but even though I knew I wasn’t safe, he could kill me at any moment, this was the most physical contact I’d ever had with Bucky and I didn’t want to be experiencing it in sheer terror. He was the only family I had and we’d only ever touched hands before.

“I don’t know what we do here.” One of the soldiers shouted. “Which asset is more important?”

“Don’t you dare shoot the soldier.” I snapped. “It’s fine. I have this. And don’t call me an asset.”

We waited. I thought soothing thoughts and tried unlocking him from his mental cage. It was difficult with the Soldier so far in control. It was likely why he was only partly there. He relaxed though. By the time Pierce came into the room, he was staring blankly ahead, I was still sitting in his lap, but his hand had moved to grip my arm.

Pierce looked right past me. “Mission report.”

Bucky’s grip tightened.

“Mission report, now!” Pierce suddenly slapped him, hard right across the face. His hand squeezed painfully on my arm and it felt like my bone was about to break. I cried out projecting the thought into Bucky. He let me go and I got up. I wanted to put my hands on him. With Pierce there, I wasn’t sure I’d get away with it.

“That man on the bridge …” Bucky said looking at Pierce. “Who was he?”

I pushed the word Steve at him.

Something passed over Pierce’s features. He looked at me and then back to Bucky. “You met him earlier this week on another assignment.”

“I knew him.”

I pushed harder. Bucky, it was Steve. Your friend. He resisted me. The soldier was holding me out. He doesn’t want to know. I don’t know why Pierce was getting Bucky, but all I was getting was the Soldier.

Pierce sat down in front of Bucky. “Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped this century, and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning we’re gonna give it a push. But if you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine, and Hydra can’t give the world the freedom it deserves.”

“But I knew him.”

“Prep him.”

I saw it clearly, I was getting the soldier and Pierce was getting Bucky because that is what the Soldier wanted. He wanted Bucky gone for good. He was pushing Pierce to wipe him. I put my hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Like somehow that would protect him. “But he’s been out of Cryo-freeze too long,” I said desperate to stop what was about to happen. I needed to unlock him.

“Then wipe him.”

The scientists pushed me out of the way and started preparing him for full mind wipe. This would undo everything I’d done.

I put as many walls up as I could. I’d have to reset things tonight while he’s in cryo. Maybe figure out a way to have him escape next battle.

Pierce grabbed my arm, right where Bucky had been holding it. I flinched as he dragged me from the room.

“What just happened in there?”

“I guess he’s stronger than we both thought.” I shrugged. “He’s never been around someone familiar before.”

“If I find out you did something?” Pierce seethed.

I shrugged. “You’ve been having me wipe his mind for twenty years now. Has anything like this ever happened? You want me to stop? Fine. You want me to leave? Whatever. But why you’d possibly think I’d sabotage the only home I’ve ever known …”

“We are launching a strike tomorrow. I want you to be there. We can use you to sway those in SHIELD who might be unwilling to see our point of view.” Pierce said. “Can I trust you with that?”

I pushed trustworthiness on him. “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think otherwise.”

He stared at me for a minute, trying to decide if his thoughts are his or not. “Go in and take care of the asset. We are keeping him out of freeze tonight. Make sure he stays blank. Clear his mind of anything the wipe may have missed. Here are the instructions for tomorrow.” He handed me a folder. “You’ll travel with him. Hail Hydra.”

He turned and marched off. “Hail HYDRA,” I muttered under my breath.

Back in the room, the scientists were unhooking Bucky from the machine. He was totally blank.

“Bring him to my room,” I told one of the scientists. He looked at me like was insane, and I pushed the order onto him with everything I had. It made me feel dizzy when I was done, but everyone in the room complied. One thing that is good about Hydra; they never like thinking for themselves. Not having to think seems to be their major philosophy.

They led both of us to my quarters and locked us in. While I did have a little free reign around the facility, when I went to my room I was locked in until morning. With my abilities, I could avoid being taken to my room if I wanted, but the lockdown at night was automatic. No matter how much I pushed that I was one of them, my abilities made me untrustworthy, and while I was here I would always be a prisoner.

My room was a sterile white thing, with a desk and a twin bed. There were no windows and the walls and door were lined with a thick steel which blocked my thoughts from those outside. It meant that if I was acting up I couldn’t influence anyone outside to do anything. It also had the added benefit of giving me absolute silence. Something I didn’t get very often.

Bucky sat blankly on the end of my bed. I threw his instructions on my desk and crouched in front of him. I started opening up the barriers I put in his mind. Without the Winter Soldier there it’s actually easy. Slowly Bucky came out and looked around the room.

“Where am I?” He asked. He sounded a little drunk.

“In my room. What happened today?”

“I’m actually awake? Let’s get out of here!” He jumped up and went to the door. Even with his Super Soldier strength and the metal arm, that door didn’t budge.

I laughed. “Sorry, Buck. I’m just as much a prisoner here as you are. They’ll come and say your trigger words tomorrow, and you’ll be the soldier again. For now, we have to figure out a way to let you get you back so you can escape.”

He turned suddenly and approached me, touching my face first with his metal hand and then with his real one. “I can’t believe I’m me. When was I last me?”

I shook my head trailing my hands down his torso. “I don’t know. Might have been almost seventy years ago. I don’t really know what parts of your story are real. Dream stuff gets confused easily.”

“You’re a real person.” His metal thumb traced over my lip. He was gentle with it in a way I would have thought impossible. It made my skin tingle, and I wanted him to push it into my mouth so I could taste it. “I know I keep seeing you when they bring me out, but it’s for such a short time and I always feel bleary, like I’m still half in the dream. I wasn’t sure if I invented you to keep me company.”

“Bucky. You have to focus. I need to know what hap -” My words are cut off by his mouth on mine. His kiss was urgent and hungry. He had been wanting this affection for longer than I’ve been alive. I wrapped my arms around his waist my hands traveling up his back. I opened my mouth for him and his tongue pushed inside. I pressed mine against it and caressed my lips against his. When he finally had had enough we pulled apart panting.

His hands remained on my cheeks and he looked down at me like he couldn’t believe I was real. His thoughts were confused. He wanted me, but he wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t tell if what he felt is a real love for me and that the desire had come from that or if it was just that I was warm and he was him for the first time in so long. The thought of me as a child kept entering his head. It made him feel guilty and dirty.

I don’t want to use my abilities on him but I’ve started to think I’m not going to have any choice. “You’re really here, Bucky. This isn’t a dream. We don’t have a lot of time though. They’re going to use you again tomorrow. We need to figure out how to stop them.”

“Can I – I just – it’s been …”

His thoughts overwhelmed me. He just wants affection.

I led him to my bed and pushed him down onto it.

“Lie down,” I said and he complied. I crawled into the bed next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I could hear his heartbeat, it’s running fast. Waking him up was a mistake. My fingers trace along his face. “Tell me what happened today. Do you remember?”

“I remember everything they make me do.” He said sadly. “I saw Steve, and we fought. For a long time. I think whatever you did worked because I was holding back. He knocked my mask off, and he recognized me.”

He stopped talking, but I can hear his thoughts. Steve said his name, and just as I’d planted Bucky became conscious. The Winter Soldier had been too strong for him though. I don’t know how I can counteract that. If the Soldier is dominant, I don’t think there’s anything I can do to suppress him. Not without the machine they use to wipe him. It was hard enough just calming him down when I was present. There is no way I can make sure he’d be able to break free totally.

“Was it hard sharing your body with the Soldier?”

“I – I -” His mind is full of turmoil. It was awful. I’m scared whatever I do to him tonight will mean he has to live with the Soldier forever.

“It’s okay. I can see.” I touched his lips with my fingers and he lent down and kissed me.

I ground my hips against him without even meaning to. It’s like my body reacted to him and was completely out of my control. His cock hardened against me and I felt guilty. I couldn’t tell if those were my feelings or his intruding on me. Is it guilt for making him want me like this? Or guilt because he still keeps thinking of me as a child?

“I’m not a kid, Bucky. And you never really knew me as one. Not really.”

He laughed, it’s the first genuine sign of happiness I’ve seen since he woke up. “You see that, huh?”

“I see everything. I see how you want to take me on a date, buy me flowers, kiss me at the door. I see how that makes you feel guilty because you also want to do that with Steve. I see how you’re thinking about what my pussy tastes like. I see how you want to stick your finger in it, not your real fingers though, these ones.” I take his cybernetic hand in mine and push it against my crotch. “I can see how you wonder if Steve would like to share me with you. That maybe if you introduced the idea of both of you having sex with me, that might get you both in bed together. I can also see the really dark stuff. Like how you want to choke me as I come. How you just want to take me now to shut me up.”

Bucky blinked at me. I’d shocked him, but strangely he was not embarrassed. He is so used to me just being in his head, he doesn’t consider it an intrusion anymore. He’s just surprised that I’d say those things out loud. “And what are you thinking?” He asks. He’s turned it into a game.

I pushed my thoughts on him. Thoughts of me naked, spread for him slick with sweat as he pounds away at me, holding me by the throat. Of me on my knees sucking his cock. All the thoughts of the things I want to do to him, and I want him to do to me. Even the ones I don’t really want at all.

“Wow, I didn’t think dames thought like that at all.” Bucky grinned when I’m done. He rolled over, so he was above me, I spread my legs and he ground against me.

“In my experience, almost everyone thinks like that. I’ve only met a few people who haven’t.”

He started kissing me along my body. He took hold of my shirt with his metal hand and just tore it like it was made of paper. I gasped and arched into him, aching for him to be rough with me too. His mouth moved to my breast and he flicked at my nipple with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. My skin tingled and I hummed. He slipped his hand into the waistband of my pants, the cold metal pushed between my folds, finding my clit immediately. A jolt shot through my body and I tensed up.

“Bucky?”

He hummed as a way of a response.

“Can you feel things with you’re prosthetic arm?”

He pushed a finger into my cunt, and at the same time as I felt the cold steel push into me, I was taken over by the feeling of warmth and wetness squeezing against unyielding metal.

I groaned loudly at the sensory overload. No one has ever pushed their thoughts onto me like that before. I can seek them out, and I always have them as background noise, but that was new. Maybe the connection I’d kept with Bucky all these years had changed him a little. Made us permanently connected.  He’d worked out a way to use it.

Bucky released my nipple from his mouth and looked up at me, a wicked smile spread over his face. “I felt that. You nearly came.” He hooked his finger inside of me, and his thumb countered the pressure he is created inside me by pressing against my clit. It sent a spark through me, and I moaned, clutching at the sheets.

“Stay in my head while I eat you out.” He purred.

Eat you out. Did people back in the forties use that term or did he get it from me? I opened my mind to him allowing us both to share our feelings.

He pulled my pants off and tossed them aside, and began nuzzling at my crotch. The scent of my cunt filled me and I could feel myself getting even wetter than I already was. He spread my folds and he flattened his tongue, running it up my crevice, tasting me. My mouth watered as the sweet musky flavor of myself mixed with the feeling of his tongue sending shivers through my body. His fingers pushed back inside me and he moved them in and out as he swirled his tongue over my clit.

“Oh fuck.” I groaned, arching off the mattress.

He liked how I tasted and he was enjoying how my body was responding to him. Which in turn made my responses even stronger. I felt like I was coming apart. As I reached my climax I close my mind off to him, worried that the feeling of my orgasm in his mind would set him off. So when I came, it is me alone, clenching around his fingers, crying out.

He swiped his tongue one last time along my slit and sat up. “You cut me off.” He grinned, as he began unfastening his pants.

“I was worried it would be too much.” I panted.

He laughed. “Yeah, it might have been. I still felt you projecting it a little. It was pretty intense.”

“This connection we have is strange, don’t you think? I’ve never had that before.”

He laughed. “I don’t know. I’ve been talking to you entirely in dreams for the last twenty years. That’s probably a little stranger. I’m not sure what’s normal anymore.”

He pushed his pants off and stalked over my body. I pulled him into a kiss actually tasting myself for the first time ever. He aligned his cock with the entrance to my cunt, and a brief thought passed through my head. We have no protection. This is reckless.

He entered me and the thought is gone. I tensed around him and clung to his neck. We moved together, grinding, thrusting rolling out hips as our mouths clashed against each other.

I pushed the need to be on top to him, and he took hold of me and rolled us over. I sat up leaning on his shoulders. I ran my finger down where his flesh met steel.

“Does it hurt?” I asked.

He shook his head and I started rolling my hips against him. Hands stroked down my body, his thumbs grazed over my nipples as they moved downwards. His fingers found my clit and he gripped onto my hip as I rocked against him.

I clenched down and started to really ride him, rocking back and forth, bouncing against him. He sat up, wrapping his arms around me holding me to him as I brought us both closer to climax. He bit down into my shoulder, setting me over, I came again cursing out loudly.  He followed closely spilling inside me and collapsing back onto the bed.

I lay down next to him, my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling the bed covers up. I reached above us turning the lights out.

“Bucky,” I whisper.

“Mm-hmm.”

“I’m scared that this is all you’re gonna get. This is your last day where you get to be you and not him. The way the soldier fought to stay in control, I don’t know how to override that without the mind wipe machine.”

He placed a kiss on my head. “Well thank you for at least giving me one more day. I know whatever happens after this, you were trying to help.”

He drifted off to sleep, and I spend the night working on his mind, finding things to help bring him back, and take control from the Soldier.

// NEXT

[onychaos]

Sonik’s muffins

i'am here to tell you a story of a pony named "sonik" he is what you would call "normal" or a "friend" but with a wonderful mere named "cookiedash" but no one or no pony knows about this side of him yet.this will change or may not change the way you see him but, lets start our fan fic ((this fan fic is made to be Dark and Grim and such.

 not meant for anyone or anypony with a weak heart and stomach. there a warning in the top of this title "grim dark" if you are not used to it or it becomes a bit dark for you, please stop reading this and ps, it is based off "cupcakes" and you will see a bit of that here and there of that.hope you enjoy))

* start Sonik muffins*

It's was a normal day for him, everything was the same.everyone and everypony was having fun or playing and was busy and over worked.  

but some of them were giving a to somewhat a feeling of doubt, sadness, bitterness, depression, despair and he could feel this and it was something that could never get the better of him but starting to get the better of him.

this normally would never get like this but there was something else that made him change.even though he was a tough pony, his will was slowly starting to fall apart, his mind was becoming filled with dark thoughts, his mood has reached depression, 

but he kept fighting it while trying to stay sane and trying to avoid going insane, keeping things neutral was the last way to stay sane.

the next few nights were sleepless, sonik's thoughts have got worse and his mood gotten worse then before, his will on the edge of insanity, he was unable to sleep, his mind slowly fading into the darkness.

 his friends thought "he will be fine.. it's just a normal thing he does to get help but he will always be fine at the end..." but they didn't know what was really going on and they just guess it was a act and just ignored him.

2 weeks later, his will was broken, his sanity was gone and his thoughts were in control of him. he flew down to the town where his friends and everypony and everyone lived at. everyone and everypony was to cheerful and happy today to even notice the new sonik. 

he trotted to a nearby shop but was stopped by a pony. "hello and what is your name?" said the pony,  "my name is sonik" he replied with a grin "what brings you here to this small town?" the pony asked. "i'am here to get someone or somepony to help me make muffins." said sonik. 

"muffins? you can buy them at any store.. for a few gold bits" the pony said. "but these are special muffins that you can't buy, but i must go and find the one person or pony who can help" said sonik and wave bye as he trotted away.   he still was looking for someone or somepony to help him but no such luck.

he kept looking and as the sun slowly began to set, and the town was filled with the cold night air and at this time night had already set. everyone and everypony has went to bed but some still wondered around the town unsure what to do at such a late time, then he realized that there is one he could use. a slightly evil grin is on his face.

sonik trots over to onyx.  "hello onyx..my brother.." said sonik.  "hmm, oh, hello sonik and how are you tonight?" onyx asked. "i'am fine...i need your help with something.." sonik said.  "hmm, what is it that you need help with?" onyx asked while thinking. "i need your help to bake and make muffins and other treats for this town..." sonik replied while grinning.  

"why do you need my help...?" onyx replied. "hmm, silly it's no fun cooking by yourself anyway and it would be nice to have your help." said sonik. "i guess that would be ok, i got nothing better to do in this town and nothing to lose" said onyx.

"anyway, if you would be kind as to follow me, we can bake in my special shop.." said sonik. they head toward the shop in the woods. "ok, onyx, we are here... it took a while but before we go any further into cooking i need you to get something for me but first...i made you a special muffin for being my best friend" said sonik with a smile.  

"best friend?.....i wouldn't call my self a best friend but thanks for thinking that..but i thought i was going to help you and where can i get the stuff i need to use for to bake the muffins and treats?" said onyx. "you will find out but first, this is taste test to see how well this muffin is." sonik said with a gleeful smile

onyx eats the muffin. "thanks for the muffin, not the best muffin, but it will do. now what?" onyx asked. "now you take a short and calm nap..." said sonik.  

onyx open his mouth to say something but feel his body turns numb and seconds later his world and body came crashing down as he hits the wooden floor and passes out.  "you shall do just fine.." said sonik with a evil grin

sonik drags onyx passed out body to the basement and tie him to a table and waiting for onyx to wake up from his drugged induced nap.

onyx comes to after a half a hour has passed. "hey, sleepy head...did you have a nice nap..?" sonik asked.  "N-nap..w-What do you mean?!?! and where are we?" said onyx while he notice he is chained up and becomes worried. 

"s-Sonik why am i chained up? i thought i was going to help you bake cupcakes or muffins, but how can i help get the stuff if i'am chained up...?" onyx asked.  "oh, don't worry, you are going to help me make cupcakes and muffins and more, and that muffin was special.." sonik said with a happy tone.

"sonik, this must be a prank, and you made me laugh.  it was funny....you got me good...heh, now let's go home and get rest." said onyx while worried.  "well, thank you onyx but i can't accept your praise since i did no prank but thank you anyway." said sonik.  

"sonik, this isn't funny, you don't have to do this. what about our friends and ruby? they will know something is wrong if i go missing and then they will figure it out, it was you  the reason why i'am missing." said onyx while begging sonik. 

"then why were you laughing? and i'am sure they won't mind you leaving for a bit..after all you seem to make them sad with the Truth and that ruins the fun for everyone and everypony and beside..you are just going on a trip."  sonik grin with a evil look.

"sonik, if i did anything, i'am very very sorry" said onyx.  "hmm, it's not so much as you did something, it just that your time and number has came up and i don't make the rules and we all must follow the rules rather we like to or not."  evil laugh of insanity. 

" s-sonik please..." said onyx while he begins to sob. "don't cry onyx, we can get to spend our final moments together as best friends..we should be happy..this will cheer you up..." sonik said.  sonik show a skull of a old friend to onyx. "W-What's t-that???" onyx asked worried and panicking. 

"it's a skull of your old friend, silly. it's a shame that he had to go but everypony and everyone will die sometime..." said sonik.

sonik trot into the dark side of the room to bring over a cart with a white sheet on top of it. "ss-sonik, what's under that sheet?" onyx asked while panicking. "some things to help me ... to if i need to do anything "said sonik.  

"i can't believe this ..." said onyx while still sobbing. * remove the white sheet revealing sharp tools such as hacksaw, knifes, and more * "don't cry onyx ... well, it's time to stop talking , now it's time to begin ~! "sonik said in a cheerful tone and evil grin.

the room was lit up by the lights, pick up the knife and trot over to onyx's left flank. "where to start ... i know where to start." sonik said in a cheerful tone.

 move the knife down to his left flank and make a incision in onyx left flank causing his flesh to hang and blood begins to drip from the incision that was made and gets a curved knife and use it to cut the hanging piece of flesh off of onyx flank

 onyx screams of pain echo from the basement and sobbing. "aww, does it hurt ..? but we have just began to start." said sonik. sonik grab onyx wing and play with it. "don't worry .. you will be in a much better place ... soon "said sonik.  

slowly cut onyx wing with the knife but only managed to cut through the skin. "maybe, this will work." trot over to the cart and pick up a hacksaw off the tray. "this will work .." said sonik in a annoyed tone

"it's odd .. what can it hack and yet, it's not a saw, oh well" said sonik. using the hacksaw to cut through the bone of onyx wing and starts on the other wing, blood gets on sonik hoof and onyx throws up from the cruel pain and began shaking in fear and pain and passes out. 

"awww, seems you need something to keep you awake, it will be no fun if you are not awake to see the fun" sonik goes to get a Syringe filled with morphine and inject the Syringe in onyx hoof, causing morphine to flow through onyx to make him come to while he gasp and his vision is blurry and still feeling pain in his back and starts to panic again as his adrenaline was rushing through his veins.

"well welcome back .." said sonik in a happy tone. "i-is it over ??" onyx asked while sobbing. "we are far from over .." said sonik as he popped a to what looks like a treat in his mouth, sonik goes to get a metal box and put the box on the cart. "w-what in that metal box?" onyx asked. 

"hot rocks and tongs for the next part but we will enjoy every moment..best friend" sonik replied to onyx. onyx was now frozen in fear and pain, sonik took two hot rocks and place them on onyx back hoof's, the rocks begin to starting burning his back hoofs slowly and get the same knife and makes a new incision  in onyx right flank and used the curved knife to cut the other hanging piece of flesh, causing onyx to struggle and scream in pain and sobbing as he feel the pain get much worse, his flank was burning in pain, showing onyx his cutie marks and waving them around. 

"well, it seems like i have a new cutie mark" sonik said in a gleeful tone. onyx couldn't help but tear up in pain and in his eyes gave that look "sonik why..."

the hot rocks by now have began to burn through onyx's back hoofs leaving a very faint smell of burning flesh floating in the basement. "you know what would be better then this..?" said sonik. 

"...w-what s-sonik?" onyx asked weakly and in pain.  sonik goes back to the other side of the room to get something while giving onyx a chance to think while he could anyway, come back with the special tongs and a hammer, onyx vision is getting worse but notice sonik. 

"S-sonik what are you going to do with those...?" onyx asked. "i'am going to use them silly" said sonik in a happy and gleeful tone.  set up the machine so it can be ready to power up the two special tongs, onyx begs "PLEASE, NO, NO, don't do that" sonik rolls his eyes and use the hammer to slam in one of the tongs into onyx hoof then use the hammer to slam in the second tong in to onyx's other hoof and his hoofs has been punctured by the tongs and causing onyx to bite his lip in pure pain and tear up more and wanting to throw up, onyx's will was starting to fade away with the pain and sonik had added metal wires to the tongs and battery and machine.

"now was that so hard?" said sonik. "it's hurts ..." said onyx while crying. sonik turn the machine on high causing it to send bolts of electricity from the tongs to onyx body, after 8 minutes, onyx eyes slowly rolled to the back of his head and the smell of burnt flesh got stronger and onyx convulsed uncontrollably and his bladder emptied. sonik was grinning, onyx has blacked out for the second time, from the new sources of blood lost, he wouldn't last much longer.

get the last Syringe and inject it into onyx chest causing onyx to wake back up for the last time, onyx's back was covered in blood and was bleeding and in pain and his hoof were bloody and bleeding as well and sonik was covered in some of his blood, onyx was numb in pain and numb from his hoofs to his rib cage "onyx..it's almost over, time to let you help me make muffins, i want you to be able to see, the harvest." said sonik in a neutral tone. 

"I want t-to go h-h-home!" Said onyx. "I know you do but we are far to late for that" sonik replied.onyx was crying as much as he can soon, he had became completely numb, only his head was the only thing that could feel anything.

sonik gets a scalpel and makes a long vertical cut down onyx chest, onyx could barely feel the pain anymore, sonik reach into onyx chest and carefully sliced ​​opened his abdominal sac and took out some of his organs one at a time, sonik was laughing while he gutted his best friend like a fish, sonik remove onyx intestinal tube and wrap it around his neck and blood flew all over the room and getting blood on the walls and onyx and himself and grinning.

"what do you think?" sonik said. onyx was at this point lost in the pain and close to death "...." onyx couldn't say anything. sonik remove a kidney and liver and smile as he started to make jokes "i'am just kidney with you, onyx you need to live more up to these kind of things" put intestinal tube and kidney and liver on the cart. 

"I'm very disappointed in you, onyx, i thought you would last longer since you were tough but that's my fault.i guess if i had took it slower and used less tools, you would had last longer, oh well, it was nice knowing you onyx. "said sonik with a sad tone and sigh.

[ellana-ravenwood]

Making him work for it - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Sorry sorry sorry, I said I would write a story with Logan and Deadpool, but this mini-fic idea just kinda...came to my mind and I had to write it. The fic with Wolvy will come soon, it’s just...I had to write that first, hope you understand. Also hope you’ll like it, as usual, feedbacks are more than welcomed : 

There’s references to other stories in that one, and here are said stories : The first time he saw you and “Did that miscreant hurt you mother ?”

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

It was very rare for him to be the first one to open his eyes...And yet, here you were, in his arms, still deeply asleep, while he was wide awake. 

He always liked to wake up first, though it almost never happened. 

Every night, you went to bed at the same time (so, very late...or very early in the morning, depends of the vision of things you  have, and though you were less exhausted as you didn’t fight but “only” monitored the Batcomputer). But it always seemed like you knew when he was about to wake up, and woke up just a few seconds earlier. In any case, your eyes were more often than not already open when he stirred out of his sleep.

It was always a bit of a disappointment when he discovered you already awoken. Because then, he couldn’t see you wake up, couldn’t see the cute face you made as you opened your eyes, and the small sigh you’d make, cuddling more against him...

Yes. It happened rarely that he would be awake before you, but when it happened...Oh when it happened he surely enjoyed it very much. 

It allowed him to observe you while you slept...Your face was always so angelic in your sleep, even if you were disheveled and were drooling. Even if you were too lazy the night before to take your make up off, and you looked like a damn panda.

He always thought you were just...So damn beautiful. And when you slept ? It just made him want to hold you forever and protect you above anything else. 

He knew you didn’t particularly need protection but as you were in a deep slumber...Well, he’d shield you from anything really. 

He promised you that years ago, that he would always be there for you. 

And man did you NOT believe him at first. 

The least Bruce could say is that you didn’t make things easy for him. 

You really made him work for your heart. 

Oh but he understood. He always understood...

And you were worth it. So worth it. Proof right now. Simply holding you in his arms while you slept filled him with such happiness...

He was so SO glad he didn’t give up, all those years ago, when it seemed like you were decided to test his patience. 

************

The day after you just met : 

Yesterday, you held your first charity ever, using your somewhat newfound fame to do good. 

A few months ago, you released your first book and to your great surprise, it was an instant hit, launching you in front of the scene...And you hated it. 

Being famous really didn’t go well with your anxiety. But it did had a few advantages...Namely : being able to convince rich fucks to give money to a cause that was important to you. 

And so you did. 

You worked so much on creating a decent event for what you believed in (easier access to books for disadvantaged people, for people too poor to even pay for a library license, and man there were a lot of them in Gotham). 

The success of said event blew your mind away. You made ten times the money you hoped to make...And it was all thanks to one guy. 

As a joke, you and a few friends who were helping you getting the charity on, send an invitation to Bruce fucking Wayne, the richest man in Gotham, knowing that he was probably too busy to go to some obscure charity happening in one of the worst neighborhood in town. 

And yet, by some miracle...He came (you wouldn’t know for years, but Bruce was a huge fanboy of yours. He really REALLY loved your books, which is the first reason he came). With a bunch of his extremely rich and posh friends. They all gave a lot of money for your little project and...wow. 

That guy had a lot of influence. 

And the media coverage that came with his presence was insanely good for it. The people you cared about, the one that Gotham City always seemed to forget...will have access to a great library in their neighborhood FOR FREE, thanks to that man. 

Thanks to Bruce Wayne. 

He was truly incredible.

Though...Ugh. Damn. You couldn’t believe you gave him your number. 

Everything happened in the heat of the moment...He gave a huge check to your charity, you met right after the speech you were forced to give (fuck all your friends for making you do this) so you were still a bit edgy, you had a bit too many flute of shitty champagne and you just kinda...Gave him your number. 

Against your best judgement. 

And now, you were staring at your phone, wondering wether you should answer or not, knowing damn well who it was. 

You were afraid you’d get carried away again and just...give him what he wanted. Falling for his obviously false niceness and tell him...Tell him...

Tell him sure, you’ll go out with him (if he was calling for that...but for what else would he call ? For what else would he ask your number ? He did say you were “quite a woman” and asked you for it with rosy cheeks, which was a bit weird on a man as charming and confident as him, he even said “would you be up for dinner sometimes ? Can I have your number so I can invite you ?” and...Oh my God, what if he asked for something else entirely, what if he was just drunk or something, and you were just completely crazy to think he’d even remotely be interested in you ?! SO EMBARASSING !). 

Oh but this was ridiculous ! Why were you so afraid ?! 

You just had to pick the phone up and say : “sorry, no thanks, I’m busy” (assuming he was calling to ask you out...But like, it was barely eleven am, the event was yesterday and in fact finished barely a few hours earlier...So why else would he call ?!). 

As you were finally gathering up the courage to pick up, the ringtone stopped. 

You had waited too long...But oh, he’ll call back if he’s genuinely interested ! And then you’ll tell him that you aren’t ! Because you’re really totally not interested in Bruce Wayne. Tt. 

But if you were planning to reject him...then why were you so mad, disappointed and sad when, four hours later, he still didn’t call back ?! 

Tt. You knew it. He wasn’t serious. He was just playi...Pa-Ching.

The alert signaling you you just received a text message startled you, and after jumping a bit in the air, you took hold of your cellphone (and damn it was just so embarrassing how much you were shaking with excitement...)

“One Text Message”. 

You took a deep breath and opened it : 

“Hello (Y/N), it’s Bruce. Wayne. Bruce Wayne. We met yesterday and exchanged number, remember ? I sure hope you do or this is going to be embarassing. I’m sorry I called earlier, you did tell me yesterday that today would be your writing day, and that you didn’t like to be disturbed while writing. You also mentioned hating talking through phones and I’m realizing, as I am typing that, that I am still bothering you but I was hoping a text would be less intrusive on your writing time...Ok so here’s to the heart of the subject : are you available tonight ? For dinner ? Sorry for the short notice but I have unexpected free time. I’m also sorry I just wrote you a novel right there, I must have re-wrote that message about ten times to find the right words, but I’m afraid I’m not as talented a writer as you are. It seems that even via text you are making me nervous. Hope to hear from you soon, after you’re done writing of course. Sorry again, Bruce”. 

What ? 

You’re making him nervous ? 

...Why ? 

He didn’t seem that nervous yesterday (though he was, and it was the first time a woman made him sweat with nervousness like that)...

And he remembered you said it was your writing day ? 

You were so sure he barely paid attention to what you were saying, just being polite and acting like he was (something he did with everyone else in his fake friends entourage...but you, you he truly listened to).

He was sorry he bothered you ?

He even recalled the fact that you hate talking through phones ? 

He...re-wrote that text ten times ? 

YOU WERE MAKING HIM NERVOUS ?!

WHAT ?!

Your hands type your answer before you can think :

“Ok”. 

You simply write. And you facepalm yourself as soon as you send it, already regretting that you...Pa-ching. 

His next message arrives almost instantly. 

As if he was eagerly waiting with his phones in his hand, eyes fixed on it (he was...and during an important Wayne Inc meeting at that). 

But a busy man like him could probably not afford wasting time waiting for a text message from a random woman...It’s true. He couldn’t. And yet, he did. 

“Great ! I’ll pick you up at 8 pm. Can’t wait <3. Good luck with your writing, sorry again”. 

Was it customary for a man like Bruce Wayne to apologies that much ? ...

And oh...oh this was dangerous...Why were you feeling so hot and fuzzy just because you were going to have dinner with him ? Just because of that little stupid “<3″ and his so called excitation ? 

Him. Bruce Wayne. 

Most eligible bachelor in Gotham City. 

Known womanizer, a real playboy. 

Exactly what you didn’t need in your life, another man who played games and that was bound to break your heart. 

You promised yourself to be careful with men, after your ex cheated on you and was just a toxic person to be around in general...So why were you going out with Bruce Wayne ?! 

The man who had a different girl at his arm every time he appeared publicly ?!

You were such an idiot, it almost made you want to cry...

Oh but if only you knew that right now, in the center of town, said Bruce Wayne couldn’t focus on a very important meeting because of you. 

Because he kept thinking about you. 

That smile that he printed in his brain last night. 

Your sassiness that was so refreshing. 

The way you were so unimpressed with him and how when he introduced himself as “Bruce Wayne”, instead of the usual “shocked and then wow” reaction, you just said : “Good for you” and looked the other way. 

He couldn’t focus because he kept thinking about the texts he send you. 

He was sure he had bothered you during your writing (even though you barely wrote, waiting for another call from him...you didn’t even notice you kept glancing at your phone whenever you tried to write, because why would you ? You didn’t care about him, right ?!). 

And he couldn’t believe he ended his last message with a “can’t wait <3″...what, was he a fifteen year old teenage boy all of a sudden ?! 

God he made such a fool of himself ! By text ! A feat he thought impossible..

How was it going to be live ? 

Well, it couldn’t be worst than the night before, when he first met you and kept blabbering nonsense and getting stuck on his words...

Why were you making him feel that way ?! So nervous and un-charming and as if he was a little boy meeting his idol ?! 

And oh you were so oblivious to the effect you had on him. As if you were just so sure he couldn’t be interested in you (and you were). 

No one ever made him feel like that. Not even Selina.  

It was so...weird. 

And that evening, as he went home and proceeded to go through his dressing trying to find the right clothes to wear...Alfred couldn’t believe his eyes. 

He never saw his master react that way. And that day, he just knew the woman he was going to meet would change his life forever. 

(Y/N) he said you were called. What a beautiful name. 

************

It was a disaster. 

Of course Bruce Wayne would take you to the fanciest restaurant in Gotham.

And you felt utterly uncomfortable. 

You’d been only since less than half an hour in the restaurant and you already wanted to run away. Far far away. 

You were incredibly underdressed (though Bruce thought you were the most beautiful woman he ever saw), you wore almost no make-up, everyone was looking at you...You were on the verge of an anxiety attack. 

And of course he didn’t notice anything. He was just trying to impress you with all his damn money and...

-We can go, if you want. 

His words take you by surprise, and you jump a bit, startle. You were looking at all the cutleries, panicking a bit about what’s the use of all that, when he spoke. 

He was looking at you...worryingly ? Like was that worry you could discern in his eyes ? But why would he be worried about you ? 

In the most un-charming way ever, you looked at him dumbly and said : 

-...Ugh ?

Yeah. Great (Y/N), so eloquent. You could have facepalmed yourself if he just looked the other way...but no. His eyes were fixed on you. He continues : 

-If you want, and only if you want, we can...leave. Go elsewhere. 

-What ? 

Oh man, it felt as if his mere presence drained all your brain cells today...

-You’re clearly...uneasy. I’m sorry I chose this place, I realize now it’s a bit too much. Classy and overly posh. 

You narrow your eyes at him and say : 

-Are you saying I’m not classy, or not good enough for that place ? 

Bruce raises his hand in a defensive manner and shakes his head with way too much energy before saying : 

-No no, no of course not ! I’m not saying this at all, I’m just...hum...I...

Why couldn’t he find his words when you were there ? Why couldn’t he just tell you that he realized he had been an ass by bringing you in a place that was clearly making you uncomfortable ? He felt like his head was going to explode...

-Well I hope so. Because it really feels like you are. You know Mr. Wayne, it’s not because I’m not as rich as you that I’m less worthy or something. 

You know you’re being unfair and that you’re overreacting a bit but...you can’t help it. And maybe it’s because you like him a bit too much that you’re trying to push him like that. Acting like an asshole would shield you from any pain...

Bruce blabbers nonsense in return to your diatribe and...it’s kind of cute. 

Could it be that he’s genuinely sorry or something ? 

No. It’s probably all an act. Someone like Bruce Wayne can’t really care about a random girl like you. He could have anyone he wants, why would he go through the trouble of being so attentionate ? 

You look at him severely, arms crossed, pondering wether you should leave or not, save yourself a world of misery right now and...he stops talking.

He takes a deep breath and says : 

-I’m sorry (Y/N). It was inconsiderate of me to bring you in a place where you can’t be yourself. Or rather, where you feel like you can’t be, because let me tell you, I would love nothing more but for you to throw some sarcastic comments their way -he shows a group of extremely posh old women who look at you judgingly- And it was untactful of me to say things...like I said them. Please, forgive me. 

You raise an eyebrow in surprise. You were surely not expecting this. Wow. 

Your guard falls down a bit and it scares the hell out of you. You shake your head, about to say you probably should go, but he’s quicker :

-Please, give me another chance. Let’s get out of here and...do what you want. 

All you can muster is a weak : 

-Why ? ...

And his answer makes you feel like you’re definitely screwed : 

-Because I want you to have a good time. It’s important that you do...

Oh damn. If he keeps up with his fake interest, you’re really going to fall for him...It’s really dangerous. And yet, you nod, and you take his hand and follow him out of the restaurant. 

************

He’s overdressed. 

But he doesn’t care, because it seems like you’re finally relaxed. It’s all he ever wanted. 

You’re in a cheap and dirty diner, eating horrible food, and the conversation just flows freely between you two, even if you’re still a bit on edge.

It’s so natural though. As if you were friends since years. And for a moment, you forget your suspicions and just enjoy your time with him. 

But the fun is soon cut short by your worst nightmare...Paparazzi.  

And a question one of them throws yours and Bruce’s way :

-Mr. Wayne, who is the lady ? A foreign actress ? A ballet dancer ? The daughter of someone important ? Who is she ?! 

Your books might be famous, but your face isn’t (at least for now). And those questions suddenly make you feel hyper aware of who you are with...

Bruce Wayne. 

The man who only dated famous people. The most beautiful women from around the world. And why would he go out with you ? 

Suddenly, awful goosebumps run through your body. 

You can’t believe you were so damn stupid. 

You can’t believe you bought his “nice guys” outlook, and the way he seemed genuinely interested in everything you were saying. 

You can’t believe you fell in his trap...This was all a publicity stunt. 

Of course. Taking out a nobody from the Narrows, from the poorest district in the city...It would make him look really good. 

Was it a coincidence that not too long ago, some allegations about his father’s involvement in Gotham’s mafia surfaced ? And now he was pity dating a poor girl (even though the success of your book made you quite rich, you still identified as someone from the Narrows) ? 

Even now, as he tries to shield you from the cameras (not doing a great job by the way), and doesnt answer them...Damn it’s so obvious ! 

You’re just a publicity stunt ! 

-I can’t believe I was such an idiot...

You murmur to yourself, and he turns to you saying :

-Excuse me ?

You stand up abruptly, and tell him : 

-I’m not going to just sit there and serve your hidden agenda, “Mr. Wayne”. Go fuck yourself. Good bye. 

Bruce is completely stunned by your words, and just look dumbly as you leave...The Hell just happened ? Everything was going so smoothly ? Until...Oh. The paparazzi. It must have scared you away..But what was that about a hidden agenda ? 

Bruce was confused. A bit lost and...what was this pinch of pain he felt in his heart, as he saw you leave the diner angrily ? 

What did he do ? 

The next day, pictures of him looking absolutely clueless would riddle the papers of the city, with the caption  “The woman who stood Bruce Wayne up”. 

************

You ignore his calls but the least you could say is...The man was insistent. You listened to all his voice messages and...You stopped after the third one. Because the way he worded things made you want to call him back, but you knew he was just playing again. 

He was just enjoying the chase. Once he’d get you, he’d go to another woman.

For two days in a row though, he kept calling you over and over again (so much so that Lucious Fox, at Wayne Inc, kinda got worried..what was going on with Mr. Wayne ? Why was he so...unfocused and glued to his phone ?) , until you snapped and finally answer : 

-WHAT ?! 

There’s a little silence, as if he wasn’t expecting you to answer (and he wasn’t) before he finally says : 

-Oh. Hi. Hum...

Another silence. He rehearsed what he’d tell you so much but...now, yet again, he found himself speechless. Oh he longed to hear your voice...AND IT ONLY HAD BEEN TWO DAYS ! 

-Listen, if you’re calling for nothing, just don’t. I’m busy, I’ve got a deadline to meet so...

Your words act like an electroshock on him and he says hurriedly : 

-I think there has been a misunderstanding between the two of us ! 

-Oh you think ? Probably yes. I thought we were going on a date, but you just used me to look good ! 

-So that’s what this is about. I figured that much when you bolted calling me an asshole...

-As a matter of fact, I didn’t call you an asshole. I told you to go fuck yourself. 

He chuckles at the end of the line and...it makes your heart miss a beat. What a cute laugh...You shake your head. No. You can’t fall in his trap again. You’re about to tell him to go pleasure himself once more but he’s faster : 

-There is the misunderstanding. May I know why you think I am...”using you” ? 

You’re angry. Because he’s clearly mocking you right now, and so you tell him what you think and when you’re done, you’re a bit out of breath, beyond annoyed. 

His voice sounds serious now, as he says : 

-With all due respect...you’re wrong. If I wanted to “look good” I would have gone to a charity, instead of taking you out. Or I wouldn’t have followed you to that unknown diner and stayed at the fancy restaurant. There is bigger things I could have done. Most definitely. And I hope I don’t offend you by saying this. The truth is I...I genuinely wanted to spend time with you. My mistake if I made you feel...unwanted or something. I’m not always very good socially...

Eh ? That was a first, Bruce Wayne not being good socially...He continues : 

-I’m sorry if it looked like I didn’t care about what you said. I really did. I really do. I’m sorry about the paparazzi and if I made you think in any way you were just...a mean for me to look good. 

You’re starting to feel stupid. Because now that you’re thinking about it, it doesn’t really make sense that he would use you like this indeed...But you still can’t believe he genuinely wants to get to know you. 

His next words kind of lost themselves as you’re thinking about everything. Maybe you weren’t a publicity stunt but...you still think that he’s chasing after you only because you’re not impressed with him, only because you make it look like you don’t care...

-So what do you think. Give me yet another chance ? I promise I’ll...fix things. I’m going to show you that I’m not using you. I’m going to prove to you that I...I’m...that I like you and...

-That’s ridiculous Bruce, you don’t know me. We met like, four days ago.

You can’t help but cut his speech off, as you pay attention to what he says once again. He “likes you” ? Tt. Suuuure. 

Bruce take a deep breath a bit away from the phone, but you can still heart it. He continues : 

-Yes I know. But I want to know more about you. And even if we met four days ago indeed, I...I’m...I don’t know how to say it. And that’s the thing. I’ve never been speechless with women. I always knew what to say to have them. 

-Wooow, definitely convincing me right there Bruce. “To have them”. What a gentleman. 

-That’s not what I meant I...my point is with you...I don’t...You’re giving me a headache. 

-Wow, easy on the compliments tiger ! 

-No but it is a compliment (Y/N) ! It’s a good kind of headache ! 

-If you keep going Bruce, I’ll give you a not so good kind of kick in the nuts. 

-Here ! This ! Exactly that ! This is why I like you ! This is why you give me a headache ! Because I have to be myself with you, I can’t be fake because you call my bluff instantly and...it’s great. It’s great to be me. I...Hum...

There’s a silent, that you do not break because...you’re kind of curious what he’ll say. The thing about him being himself with you hit you more than you thought it would. He says : 

-You...You couldn’t kick me in the nuts anyway. 

You’re a bit taken aback by that, like, what ? He was doing so well...But you can’t say anything as he continues : 

-Or you could but...For that we’d need to go on another date. 

Oh. Smooth motherfucker. You catch yourself smiling slightly at how he turned the table around...But you don’t answer. Let him marinate a little bit. It works as he says : 

-I mean, if you want to. I would understand if you’re not interested. And I’m sorry I’m holding you on the phone so much even though you hate talking through it and...I mean yes, if you want, we could go out again. Where you want. I can wear something to hide who I am. 

-I thought I made you feel like you could be yourself. 

-Yes, no, I meant, to hide my identity so we’re left alone !

Oh. He knows you’re the one playing with him right now, making him work to get this date, stumbling on his words and trying so damn hard to say the right things...It’s the first time in his life he has to convince a woman to go out with him. He blabbers some more when you finally decide to end his suffering by saying : 

-Well, I mean, I’m really busy (it’s not true) so...I guess I’ll tell you when I’m free ?

-Oh. Yes, yes of course ! Anything you want ! I mean I’m busy too but...I’m sure we can figure something out. What are you doing next Saturday ? 

-I just told you I’ll tell you when I’m free, Bruce. 

-Oh, right. Yes. Ok. Hum...You can text me or...call me. This is my personal number so, you’ll always have me and not my secretary and...yes. Ok. 

You don’t answer, and he says :

-So...Waiting for you ? 

You hung up. 

You don’t feel proud to toy with him a bit like that but...you can’t help but think that Bruce Wayne needs to be tossed around a bit. He sounds like a man who always has his ways, so it’s quite satisfactory to be the one in charge on that matter. 

If he truly wants to be with you, which you highly doubt, he’ll endure it. 

In your head, you start to foment a plan to truly test his commitment. To make sure he’s serious and not just fooling around and such. 

And so your testing starts...And it starts with you not giving him any news for a week and a half. When you finally do, it’s with a short text that reads : 

”Gotham piers. 9 pm (busy before). Tomorrow. You in ?”

And his incredibly quick reply : 

“Yes, perfect. I’ll be there.”

************

Bruce had been waiting for days for you to contact him. He was starting to think he should just call you again when he received your cold text...Damn you.

If it was any other women, someone he didn’t really care about, he wouldn’t even reply. A few girls in the past, tried to make him wait...only to discover that he was already pass them. 

He was Bruce Wayne. He was getting girls only for his playboy cover. He had no time to waste with players. And yet...yet with you. 

He’s the one that fell in your trap. But he couldn’t blame you. 

He wasn’t the greatest detective in the World for nothing. He knew why you were doing what you were doing. You didn’t trust him. 

Why would you ? You didn’t know him and he had a terrible reputation with women. The simple fact that he would forget one just because she made him wait was enough for you to be wary of him. 

But with you...he really wasn’t playing. He was ready to put some effort in wooing you. And he didn’t understand why ! 

At first, he thought it was because you barely registered who he was, at your charity. He thought it was because it seemed like you didn’t care, and his competition side took it as a challenge...

But he quickly realized it was much more than that. You were just...irresistible. You attracted him in every way. 

Your wittiness, the way you didn’t hesitate to tell what you think (no one ever left him alone in a restaurant, telling him to go fuck himself...), your smile, and when you let your guard down and genuinely talked with him...

In the diner, before the paparazzi came, you and him had such an interesting conversation...you were talking so passionately about books, and about how you wanted to make Gotham a better city to live in for everyone...He was captivated. 

And so...he’d let you play with him, to the risk of having his heart broken. 

************

You were at the piers, and when he arrived you definitely appreciated the way his (perfectly chiseled) jaws dropped.

You did really try to look good tonight. Sexy.

You were a very insecure woman, and hid most of your anxiety behind a wall of sarcasms and wit...but there were the occasional times where you’d stand strong for a cause. 

Defend the defenseless. Talk back to your boss. ...Genuinely make an effort to look great for your “date” with Bruce Wayne. 

You wanted to show him what he could miss, if he wasn’t being serious. And by the look he gave you (though he tried to hide it, what a gentleman), the fire he had in his eyes when they lingered on your bare legs...

It almost annoyed you though, this look...up until his eyes crossed yours and he ignored your cleavage and such, and just bore into your eyes. 

Just look at your face, and he seemed so fascinated...

You didn’t understand why he would look at you like that. 

That night, you spend a great evening on the piers, eating a hot dog and talking. And he seemed genuinely interested in you. He barely looked again at your legs or cleavage (it was so hard for him not to, but he wanted to show you he didn’t want you just for that), and just...listened and talk freely with you. 

It was really nice. 

And dangerous. This had to be an act...and damn Bruce Wayne was a good actor. 

Years later, you’d realize how much he actually gave in just to woo you...Like the fact that every time he went on a date with you, he’d leave Gotham in the hands of his cousin, Kate Kane aka Batwoman. 

Like, for him to give up, even just for one night, being Batman...It was huge.

But on the spot, you didn’t realize that, and you were still suspicious. 

************

It was always such a lottery when he brought you gift. 

He made a list about the “do” and “do not”. 

No flowers, you disliked them and thought it was morbid to give something that was dying to someone, just to show your affection. 

No chocolate, you hated chocolate (at least, so you said). 

Books were always good. 

Clothes...depended on your mood. He had yet to learn how to read you on that one...

Nothing too expensive, no helping in your personal life (you hated handouts). 

Yes to practical things. He bought you a pair of socks when he noticed yours had a hole in them...seemed like you really appreciated it. 

No gift at each dates, only sometimes. 

************

Sometimes, he didn’t really know if you liked him or not. 

More than once you hinted at the fact that there were other guys interested in you (and he didn’t doubt that, you were so great !). 

It always made him incredibly jealous, a feeling he never felt before...Was it what you wanted ? For him to be jealous ? 

The truth though, was that you were just trying to shield yourself. Because what if he kept his options open too ? It’d break your heart to know he was flirting with other women...

************

Sometimes, Bruce felt like he should just give up...You’d warm up to him, you’d kiss him back when he’d dare to kiss you goodnight...and then you’d ignore him for days again, saying “no, busy” every time he asked you out, wether it was for lunch or dinner or anything. 

But Alfred told him something that made him think. He just said : “Some people are hard to crack. They got hurt so much that they have a defense mechanism, and it’s difficult to know exactly how their system work...I’d say most people think that of you, Master Bruce, but you wouldn’t believe me”. 

And maybe that was it...Maybe you were just trying to defend yourself because you got hurt in the past ? 

************

It was difficult to know what you wanted...Or rather, wether you wanted him or not. Your mood were so changing. 

Sometimes it seemed like you finally trusted him, sometimes it felt like it was the opposite, as if you thought he was acting...

You’d tell him things like “I always feel so at easy when I’m with you” and other “I couldn’t wait to see you”, but if he told you such things, if he told you how much he liked you...You’d walk backward and be suspicious and annoyed and just wouldnt believe him. 

A few times you asked him “why me ?”, and his answers always seemed to trouble you. 

-Because you make me feel like I can be myself. Because you’re intelligent. Beautiful. Interesting. Funny. Witty. Because your smile is infectious. Because your laugh is hilarious. Because your taste in movie is great, and because you can dance and aren’t afraid to do so even if it’s in the middle of the street. Because because because...

You just didn’t seem to believe you, and Bruce just didn’t know how to prove you meant the World to him...But he was determined to chase after you, forever if he had to. 

************

One day, you asked him, in the middle of the day, if he was free. 

He wasn’t, but it was so rare for you to ask for him in such a way that he made himself free...He met you at the piers. 

Your first barrier broke that day, as you talked about your cheating abusive ex. 

He didn’t know why all of a sudden you decided to talk about it (you had cross path with him in the streets, and he had been awful...that’s why), but it made him understand you better. 

And to show you he could be trusted with such informations, he talked to you about his parents. He never talked about his parents with anyone before...Of course, there was no reasons for you to trust him on that. 

As far as you were concerned, he was saying that to every girl so they’d take pity in him but...You did believe him, because there was something in his broken voice that felt more than real. 

That was a first step for him to your heart. 

************

You were always on edge, the first few months. 

Always ready to drop him. At the first sign of him just playing with you, you’d leave...but things were getting more serious and serious every day and...it scared you. 

After you talked to him about your ex, you don’t give him any news for two weeks straight. Because...he knows too much. 

You just can’t let a “man like that” enter your life. 

A...Man like that...Like what exactly ? Bruce showed nothing to you but devotion and interest and...but...if it was all an act ? 

You’d never come back from that broken heart, if it was an act. So you kept being evasive, and played hard to get. 

During those two weeks without news from you, his mind was plagued with your face. He couldn’t focus, and he realized for the first time that...He...He was in love with you. 

That was the only explanation as to why he reacted that way. 

He loved you. And it was bad. Because for the first time, he started thinking about his night activities, and how you’d fit in that...Would you accept it ? 

Oh. OH ! 

He realized that he wasn’t worried about letting you come into his world. About telling you he was Batman. But about...you rejecting him because of this. 

You not understanding even though you always seemed to understand him so much. And it terrified him, because it would mean a life without you and...he slowly realized how screwed he was. 

During those two weeks, he couldn’t think of much else but you...and it was almost fatal to him. During a mission, he wasn’t focused enough, and nearly died...

Alfred took things into his own hands. 

***********

Two weeks. Two weeks without talking to him. It was like torture...But you realized that it was kind of good. 

Like a sevrage, as if he was your drug. 

And he...kind of was. 

He was the only one with whom you didn’t mind talking on the phone, the only one you exchanged stupid text up until late at night (you still laughed a lot about that time you asked him : “If a zombie bite a vampire, what would happen ? Would the vampire turn into a zombie, even if he’s already dead ? OR would the zombie, drinking the vampire’s blood, turn into a vampire ? Or both ? Or nothing would happen ?”, and he very seriously answered, “scientifically” ...damn he was so great. And if only you knew he answered your text while being a night vigilante). 

But you had to take some distance. Because it was...it was the first time you felt that way. You were pretty sure you were in love with him already and...it terrified you. 

You kissed him already, but you guys never went further, as you thought if he could wait it would mean a lot. And he never pushed you or anything...

But you were terrified that...once you’d sleep with him, it would be over. He would go to the next girl, who probably wouldn’t resist as much as you. 

You guys were seeing each others in secret and just...if he didn’t love you back, it would be the end of you. It sounded very melodramatic but it was the truth.

He was older, richer, better in every way, could have whoever he wanted (quite literally)...So why would he want you, out of everyone ? 

And so you took some distance with him, to breath, to think about your next step...

A knock on your door distracted you. You opened and...

-Alfred ? 

-Hello Lady (Y/N), may I come in ?

-Hum, yes. Yes sure. Come in. 

You don’t know why, but you’re instantly worried...Why would Alfred come to see you ? Was Bruce alright ? Oh you wished he didn’t send his butler to break up with you (even though you weren’t really dating).

-I am here because of...Mr. Wayne. 

************

Bruce was brooding in his cave when he received a text from you. 

He felt his heart flutter as he saw your name appear on the screen, and opened the text eagerly. 

“Are you free right now ? I need to see you.”  

“Need”. You said “need”. It made him too damn happy, it was almost ridiculous...He quickly answered that yes, he was free, and you told him to join you at the piers. 

************

You surprise him by kissing him fully on the lips, even slipping your tongue in his mouth, as he came to you. 

With hazy eyes, he pulls away as you let go of him and just says : 

-Wow...

And he wasn’t done with his surprise. 

There, you told him you were sorry about making him wait for two weeks, but that you had to think. 

You thought a lot, really. 

About you and him. 

And you came to that conclusion...”It’s better to feel pain, than never feel at all”, therefor, you were ready to genuinely give it a shot. 

To not be just on edge about him being your boyfriend or not. To not awkwardly answer : “oh he’s a good friend of mine” whenever your friends would ask wether or not you were dating Bruce Wayne.

You were ready to truly be with him. Though you weren’t ready yet to go full out and be open in front of the media...

He kissed you with so much passion that night, that you were sure you took the right decision. And of course, he told you that he was waiting for that since so long that...Yes. Yes he was ready too to actually date you.

Bruce would never know what changed your mind, what made you stop playing hard to get, and finally give yourself to him (in every sense of the term, as a few days after your declaration, you were waking up in his arms, in his bed, with absolutely no clothes on your back). 

He would never know, and he never really tried to know, too afraid that his questions would push you back into your shell...But if only he knew. 

************

-Do you...want some tea ? 

-No thank you, Lady (Y/N). 

You were trying not to freak out. He said it was about Bruce...What about him ? Was he really here to break up with you ? 

-I am here, as I said, on behalf of Master Bruce. 

-Imma stop you right there. Tell him that if he wants to break-up, even if we’re not technically together, he should come himself and...

-What ? No no, he doesn’t want to...That’s quite the contrary ! To be perfectly honest, I’m not actually here on behalf of him. I’m here...I took the initiative because...I wanted to ask what were your intention with him ? 

-My..My intentions ? 

-Yes, are you serious or are you just toying with him ? Because he went through so much already, if you’re just toying, please stop. 

This hit you like a tsunami. 

You ? Playing with him ? But...it was the opposite ! Right ? 

-He is very fond of you, Lady (Y/N). Enough to cancel important meetings at his company to go see you to get ice cream and whatnot. 

You never thought about it...How he always seem to find time for you even if you knew he was extremely busy...

-And I must ask...are you fond of him too ? Or are you just planning on breaking his heart ? 

You’re taken aback by all this. Way more than you should be. 

Because...you didn’t do anything wrong, did you ? You simply gave him a taste of his own medicine right ? 

...Did you really though ? He did have a reputation of being a womanizer but...was it the truth ? 

You always thought, even before you knew him, that there were more to Bruce Wayne than he was leading on on TV...but he really was a playboy right ? 

Maybe he was...but he never been with you. 

And suddenly, you have a flashback of every single time you saw him. 

How the first time you met him,he seemed so flustered and nervous while he was always so confident when you saw him on TV. Though at the time it just felt like he was mocking you, you could see now that he was just...Crushing on you already ? 

On your first date, as soon as he saw you were uncomfortable, he let you take the lead and made sure you were relaxed...and he called you back, even when you told him to “fuck himself”...

He always seemed to remember things about you. 

No peanut, you were allergic to it. Strawberries were your favorite fruit, but in general, you liked salty things more than sugary stuffs. You didn’t really have a sweet tooth. Books over flowers, every time. No chocolate, it made you want to throw up cause you hated it...You disliked phones...

Yes. 

Whenever you told him something, he remembered. 

Because...Because he cared. 

He told you how it was difficult to remember everyone’s names at galas and such (later, you’d discover that he used Wayne tech in his bow tie...facial recognition haha), and yet he could recall things you told him weeks ago...

No matter how dry and cold you were to him, he kept coming back. Not because he liked the chase but because...

-He’s really, REALLY fond of you. 

Alfred insisted, raising an eyebrow...And just like that, your mind was made. 

You just needed that little push. Someone out of your little “game” between you and Bruce to...know. 

To know he wasn’t actually playing. You were the only one doing so. 

He was genuinely interested in you, for reasons you didn’t understand. He was...He was...He was fond of you. 

This was the first time you hugged Alfred, and definitely not the last. 

************

Bruce never knew what convinced you he was serious. And he didn’t really care to be honest...He was way too happy you did “surrender”. 

Too happy you gave him your heart, finally. 

Too happy you realized that he was ready to give his entire being to you, and to see you were willing to do so too...

Too happy. You always made him too happy. And damn he was glad he didn’t give up, glad he stayed even when you were being a bitch to him (and it was only fair, as he would be quite an ass to you in the future as well, being a man with a lot of issue...but you’d never give up either). 

And here, laying in his bed with you in his arms, he never regretted that long chase after you. Never. 

For now, you’re opening one eye, then the other, and make that cute “waking up” face he loves so much...

-Hey Broosh...

-Hey my love. 

You smile hazily, still a bit dazed and tired. And he can’t help but holding you a bit tighter, submerged by a wave of love for you.

In those kind of moments, he understood why you made it so difficult for him to catch your heart. It made everything even more worth it...

And as you snuggle against him, he can’t help but sappily think he’s the happiest man on Earth, and he’s oh so glad he caught the most beautiful and amazing creature in the World. 

You.  

_________________________________________

Just a really shitty thing that was supposed to be a mini-fic but isn’t...I feel like it’s too long and stupid. And it doesn’t make sense ?  Like it’s unnatural ? I don’t know I just had a random spurt of inspiration and wrote everything without planing stuffs (as usual) and didn’t re-read and just wrote words after words without thinking so...yeah, might be very crappy.

As usual, feedbacks are very VERY welcomed. 

[anagentinwriting]

To Catch a Thief - Part 3

Summary: Being an FBI field agent was your dream job but having been stuck behind a desk for most of your career you’ve almost given up. Fortunately, a series of robberies with minimal evidence forces you to assist a team in the field to help solve the case. But when the only thing left behind is a series of song lyrics, will you be able to find the perp? Or will the number of obstacles and lack of evidence keep you from solving the case?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 2592

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff

To Catch a Thief Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Gamora appreciated your added intel on SL’s profile but it didn’t give you any real information. You may know more about your thief, but it left many unanswered questions. The only thing you had on him was that he was looking towards a brighter and better future. It’s almost like once he finds all these necklaces he can move on and forget it ever happened. You suspected SL to be working with someone because there was no way these crimes could be done by one person alone. You didn’t find much but Gamora liked the effort and Kraglin did, too.

After working this case for a few weeks, none of you were finding anything new.  Everything you accomplished only led to more unanswered questions. Gamora studied over the security camera footage from Vegas and the blueprints from both scenes trying to figure out how SL pulled it off. Kraglin tried to locate the other four necklaces but had little to no success. You continued to try and find answers about SL. You searched the database for previous cases over the past 20 years where the suspect left a note, but nothing even mentioning an SL.

“YN, you're still here.  It doesn’t matter how long you slave over the information because sometimes you hit a dead end. Besides, it’s been weeks since the last thief and we haven’t had any luck locating the others,” Gamora said, walking over to your desk.

“I know. I just want to be prepared.”

“It’s Friday night, you should hit the town and meet a cute guy,” she winked with a slight smirk.  “Kraglin and I are going out with some other agents and you’re more than welcome to come along. Besides, it’s not healthy to stress over this and stay cooped up in here.  Trust me, I know first hand.”

You nodded, “I’ll think about it. Thanks though.”

“Look--" she plopped down in the chair next to your desk “--I know this is your first case, but don’t get too caught up in it. It'll only make your head hurt and you’ll think your going insane.  I was a nervous wreck when I got my first case, I wanted to get everything figured out and solved by the end of the week.  I wanted it to be like it is on TV where they solve everything in an hour,” she chuckled. “But that’s not reality.  Would it be more efficient? Yes. Would it make our job easier? Hell yes.  But, I want you to know it’s okay to mess up or hit a dead end because it gives you the best reason to go out and drink. I don’t know about you, but when I drink I get a new perspective on things and sometimes there’s a dumbass in the bar who admits to committing the crime.”

“Wait, did that happened to you?”

“Yeah, I must have one of those non-cop faces at the time,” she suggested, sporting a smirk. “Anyways, don’t stay here too much longer or I’ll send Luis in here to kick you out.” She stood slipping on her jacket.

“I won’t,” you promised as your eyes widened. “Oh my god, your right!”

“Right about what?”

“Luis.” You wandered out of the room with Gamora following beside you. “Luis knows everything going on in the criminal world as well as in law enforcement.  He basically knows everyone so he could have some idea who SL is.”

“Great idea! Run with it and let us know if you come up with anything.” You nodded as Gamora walked out of the building.

You went up to Luis sitting at the front desk reading what looked to be a trashy romance novel. “Luis!”

“Whoa, hey chica. How’s the case?” Luis grinned, shutting his book and hiding it out of view. You gave him a knowing smile at his poor attempt at hiding his guilty pleasure.

“It’s tricky, but you might be able to help me?”

“How can I assist?” Luis twirled his chair around knocking over his water bottle in the process. He quickly straightens it up and puts his hands together in front of him wearing a carefree smile as if nothing happened.

“Does the name SL ring any bells? Or have you seen his signature before?”

“Waitwaitwait, you’re looking for SL?” You nodded. “Man, he’s like a legendary outlaw, right.  You know a few years ago, he exposed some companies involved in illegal animal testing. Man, what were their names again?” He hummed, trying to think it over.

“So, he’s a guy, just one dude.” You asked, hoping to keep Luis on track instead of letting his mind wander.  

“Yeahyeahyeah, but he’s a good guy though. If SL’s behind this, there’s a reason for it; everyone knows he only steals if he has a motive, right. You know he’s kind of like Robin Hood in a way, but I guess Rohin steals from the rich and gives to the poor, and he did it all in tights; I mean, that’s dedication, right.  You know, Kevin Costner was great in that movie and Morgan Freeman has a voice of a….”

“Luis, focus,” you tapped your hand on his desk until he stopped talking and looked at you. “Have you ever met him?”

“No, but I heard from my man, Scotty, that when SL was exposing those companies, Scotty learned his dad was big into thieving, too. Man, but what was his name again?  Eggo?” He narrowed his eyes as a smile spread across his face.  “No, but those waffles are delicious, right. With their gooey goodness, especially when you add maple syrup---”

“Luis back on point.”

“Sorry sorry sorry,” he hummed, tapping his finger to his chin until his eyes went wide. “I got it. Ego. Yeah yeah, Ego was his dad’s name. Scotty told me he heard all this from a dude who calls himself Taserface.” Luis burst out laughing as tears started to form in the corners of his eyes, making you laugh along with him. He let out a deep breath to try and get himself back under control. “It’s a ridiculous name, right. As for Ego, he taught SL everything he knew. You know, some people even say he’s been stealing since he was in diapers.”

“Wow, okay. What is the reason for the S and L? Are those his initials or something?”

“Nah….that’s too simple, chica. If I remember correctly it stands for like Star-Leader or Space-Legend. All I remember is that it’s a pretty badass name. Like really badass.”

“Thanks, Luis. You have no idea how much you might've helped us out on this.”

“That’s why I am here. Now go home,” He grinned, making you laugh. “I’m serious. I'll escort you out if I have to," he stated with a serious face.  "Besides, Gamora scares me...a little bit." He held up his thumb and pointer finger showing you how much.

“Okay, fine. I’ll go home and continue this later,” you smiled, giving him two thumbs up.

You walked into your apartment lobby and hit the elevator button.  You made a ton of progress with Luis’s help and think you finally understood this guy better. His father was the infamous Ego, so now all you had to do is find out his real name and then find his son. Easy, peasy.  You stepped out of the elevator and went to your door.  You sifted through your purse for your keys, but couldn’t find them.

“Shit. I just had to take the bus today. Dammit,” you groaned, staring at the ceiling.  You riffle through your purse one more time coming up with nothing, but you did find your lock pick set.  “Uhh….let’s give this a go.”

You crouch down and stick both tools in the lock but are unsuccessful. You hear someone walking down the hall, but you ignore them as you continue working on the lock. “Motherfucker.....fuck....why the fuck did this fucking have to fucking happen today,” you cursed under your breath.  Someone clearing their throat makes you stop to look in the direction of the noise only to find Peter.

“Are you trying to break into your own apartment? Don't you have keys?” Peter smirked, leaning against the wall beside his door with his arms crossed.

“Yes and no.” You answered through gritted teeth.

“Do you need any help?”

“Yeah like you can get in,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“I have magic hands,” he winked, walking over to you.

You rolled your eyes handing over your pick set. The worst case scenario you go back to the office, but if you could make fun of Peter for not getting into your apartment then why not give him a shot. He kneeled down in front of the lock and within ten seconds the door opens.

“There you are, neighbor.” He turned the knob and pushed the door in. He gave you a lopsided smiled handing the lock pick set back to you.

“How did...where did you learn...who taught you to pick locks?” You stumbled over your words still in shock that he got the door open so fast.

“My dad, but you have a good rest of your night.”

“Um….thanks, you too.” Peter walked back to his apartment door. “Hey you wouldn’t happen to be interested in some leftover pasta, would you?  It’s the least I could do since you saved me a trip back to work.”

You weren’t going out tonight or this weekend, like Gamora wanted you to, but might as well try to make a new friend, even if it was your horny rambunctious neighbor. You had to admit it though he was very easy on the eyes.

“Sure, why not.  I haven’t had a home cooked meal in...while I don’t remember when. Lately, it’s been microwavable meals and bar food.”

“And you still look this good by eating crap food.” Your eyes couldn’t help themselves but travel over his muscular physique until you made eye contact with him and realized you said it aloud.

“Excuse me, but did you just call me good looking?” He raised his eyebrows, forcing a slight blush to tint your cheeks.

“Nope,” you said, popping the p’. You turned away from Peter and pushed the door open as he followed in behind you. You headed for the kitchen to put the pasta in the oven to reheat it while Peter strolled past you wandering around your plain empty apartment.  You didn’t have much, you never spent much time at home, so you didn’t feel like you needed to add things to it.  You had a couch, TV, record player, and your vast music collection. And the many pictures of your family scattered all over your apartment. You cherish photos because they keep memories alive when people left this world without an explanation.

“Well, your apartment is very...um...what’s the word? Empty,” Peter commented, staring at the pictures on the wall.

“Yeah, I work long weird hours, so I am hardly ever home.” You opened the fridge, shooting him a look. “Beer?”

“Yeah, I’ll take one.” He took a seat on the stool next to the small island in the center of the kitchen. You grabbed two beers twisting off the tops and handed him one.

“Your apartment’s been quiet the last couple days. Are you sleeping over at your lady friends places now?” you inquired, making him scoff.

“Not exactly. It’s too much work to go to their homes because then I have to remember to wake up early and sneak out. It just becomes this whole thing,” he waved it off. “I would rather just fake sleep until they leave my apartment or engage in a little morning…”

“I am just gonna stop you right there.” You wrinkled your nose holding up your hand to stop him. “I don’t need you to tell me since I can usually hear it through my bedroom wall.”

“Shit. That’s right. I’m sorry about that.” He gave you a tight smile as you took a sip of your beer.  “I was actually away on business for the past couple of days.”

“But, aren’t you a bartender?”

“I am,” he chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “I went to mixology conference that my boss couldn't go to so I took his place. How’d you know I was a bartender?”

“Honestly, you dress like you’re still in high school with the weird graphic t-shirts--” you pointed at his JJ’s Diner shirt “--I  notice you always come home at odd hours and have a faint smell of booze on you. It’s pure observation; it’s part of my job.”

“So, you’re either stalking me or you’re a c--” Peter was interrupted by your phone ringing. You peeked at the screen seeing Kraglin.

“I should take this.” Peter nodded for you to answer. “Hey Kraglin, what’s going on?”

“YN, hey. Don't be alarmed, but another necklace was stolen,” Kraglin informed with a slight slur in his voice.

“Are you serious? Do you know what one?” You questioned, running your hands down your face.  How could this happen? How was this guy finding these necklaces so fast when the team couldn’t even find one?

“The blue one. Um--" he hiccuped "--the Space Stone. It happened in Norway.”

“Shit, okay! I can be there in about--”

“No no, tomorrow. Come tomorrow. To work. We aren’t capable of much right now,” he burped.

“10-4 Kraglin,” You chuckled, hanging up. “Shit…”

“Boyfriend trouble?” Peter asked, keeping a watchful eye on you.

“Boyfriend? What?” You stared at him confused before shaking your head.  “No, something big happened with this case I’m working on, so I’ll have that to look forward to tomorrow.”

“Hmm...so you are a cop,” he smirked, pointing the tip of his beer bottle in your direction.

“I am,” you smiled, pulling the pasta out of the oven and splitting it up into two bowls. You hand him one bowl as you sit in the stool across from him.

“What’s the case you're working on? Maybe I could be of assistance,” Peter asked, blowing on the pasta before taking a bite.

“Sorry, but I can't really talk about it. I want to more than anything, but this is my first case to prove myself and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“I get it.” He took a bite of his pasta as his eyes grew wide. “I thought about being a cop when I was younger.”

“Really, what happened?”

“Family issues,” he shrugged. “I take it your parents were in the FBI from the picture over there.” You smiled at the picture he was mentioning. It was one of you and your parents standing in front of the FBI Quantico sign when you were about 12 years old.

“They were. When I was younger, my parents gave a few seminars at Quantico. They’d take me along, and I ended up wandering the halls and getting funny looks from everyone. It was fun, especially on our long drives down and back. My dad made us listen to all his favorite classic rock and pop songs." Your smile spread bigger at the memory.

“My mom was the same way when I was growing up. She liked sharing all her favorite pop songs with me that she loved growing up, too.”

“Yeah, it’s something about those songs that... I don’t know... I relate to better than the stuff popular today.”

“Oh, I agree.  At least I know I’m not the only one who appreciates the classics,” he said with a contagious smile. He took another bite of pasta and hummed.“This is superb by the way.”

“Thanks, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

A/N: Thanks for reading Part 3! Couldn't help but add a Park & Rec reference in there. Looking forward to hearing what yall think! 

[sangria-sheeran]

The Calm—Chapter One

A/N: Here it is! Please leave feedback, it is very much appreciated. Also, I absolutely hate when the two people meet and instantly fall in love, so yeah, this may take a little while (but be patient, it’ll be worth it). Enjoy!

I furiously scribble on the paper in front of me, trying to remember something about derivatives from the grueling school day prior to this. My foot bounces under the wooden table and I shift in the nylon booth. If I don’t get this done now, it will never get completed.

“Five minutes, Cassidy,” Steve, the bartender, yells from behind the bar.

My eyes snap up to the small pub. There are only ten people here despite its location in downtown Detroit, and most of them are engrossed in their conversations or enjoying their dinners, anyway. No one will pay attention to me. But not that that matters; this is a chance to be out of the house. Plus, I’ll just have to work for their attention–this is good practice. I shove my notebook into my backpack that I have situated next to me in the burgundy booth and head to the small stage in the corner of the dining room. My guitar is already there, I just have to bring the electric keyboard out from the shadows in the back of the elevated area. This is routine. I have been playing here every Monday and Wednesday for the past eight months—ever since Mom and I started fighting a lot. Steve always promised me a free meal and a chance to crash in the apartment (apartment is a hyperbole, it’s more like a room with a mattress on the floor) upstairs, so it’s worth having to wake up at 5 a.m. to make it to school on time twice a week.

“Are you ready?” Steve asks, coming up next to me.

I sling my guitar around my neck and nod, stepping into the shadows.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a treat for you tonight,” Steve says into the microphone on stage. “Please welcome Cassidy Collins.”

His introduction is met with sparse applause.

“Thank you,” I say as I take my place where Steve was. Everyone has already gone back to their conversations. I take a deep breath—I have my work cut out for me tonight. “Is it alright if I play you a few songs?”

Steve woos from the side of the stage.

“Thank you,” I laugh. “Well, this song is called ‘Crazy’ by a band called Gnarls Barkley. Please sing along if you know it.”

Then my brain and hands go on autopilot. I have two sets that a play, both four songs: two covers and two originals. I was afraid to play all original songs because people would disengage since they didn’t know anything, but if I played a mix of covers and originals, it was always a fun experiment to see what songs they knew. But I always put my own spin on the songs. And that’s what I did with “Crazy”; turned a highly produced r&b hit into a more earnest ballad that forces everyone to pay attention to the lyrics. It seemed like it was working, too. Everyone was looking at me as I played the familiar song. Some people were even singing along quietly. Their reactions brought a small smile to my face, making my racing heart slow down a little bit.

“Thank you so much,” I smile as I play the last chord.

There is light applause—an upgrade from earlier, though.

“I appreciate you letting me infiltrate your dinners,” I remark and they all laugh, probably surprised by my candor. “To be honest, being up here terrifies me, but it calms my nerves if I’m not the only one singing; it makes me not feel so far away with everyone staring at me-”

There is a sharp gust of wind from the door opening. I glance over and see a group of around ten walks in, talking amongst themselves, but they immediately quiet down when they see me on stage.

“So if you do know any of these songs, please sing along,” I set my guitar down on its stand and move so I’m sitting at the electric piano. “But I hate to disappoint you, I don’t think you’ll know this one. This is a song I wrote called ‘Latch.’”

I play the first few chords and shallow. Just when I got the hang of this group more people decided to show up. Great. Then I take a deep breath. This is my song—I put my heart into this—I have to do it justice.

After I play the introduction I look up and see the group that just walked in sitting in a half-circular booth in the back of the restaurant. It’s all guys. They’re all searching the menu for drinks, but one person at the end, who looks about my age and has his hood up, is watching me.

Then I start singing. Playing my songs is a lot more nerve-wracking than playing a cover. If someone doesn’t like the way I play a cover, so be it, my taste is different than theirs, no harm no foul; but if they don’t like an original song, they don’t like a piece of me. So I do what Steve told me to do when I get really nervous: look only at him. He’s heard my set so many times that he knows the words and mouths them as he’s filling orders at the bar.

Somehow I make it through the song, and the applause is a lot louder than the previous song due to cheers from the booth in the back. The boy in with his hood up is smiling and shaking his head, a shocked look on his face. The man sitting next to him leans over and whispers something.

“Thank you very much. I really appreciate you listening to me talk about my feelings,” I blush. “And to reward that, you get another song you’ll probably know.”

My fingers hover above the keys about to play but then I stop.

“Actually, if you don’t know this song then I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. I don’t mean to sound like a bitch but…” I trail off. “I’m sorry, I’m babbling, but please sing this really loud. Remember what I told you earlier about that alleviating my anxiety. This song is really easy to do wrong.”

When I play the iconic introduction, everyone gasps and cheers, recognizing the tune: “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John.

I smile. That’s what I thought would happen.

Everyone sings along, with the booth in the back being the loudest. When the chorus hits they all put their arms around each other and scream at the top of their lungs, which encourages everyone else to join in singing. This is the best crowd I’ve ever had. People usually sing this song, but never with this much energy. I don’t want it to end. But when it ultimately does there is a lot of cheering.

“This applause isn’t for me, it’s for you! You just outperformed me at my own gig!” I joke.

There’s chatter again briefly but then it dies down.

“Now, this is my last song,” I tell them. There are boo’s from the back—that’s the first time this has ever happened. “And is it alright if I play another one of my songs? I promise I’ll teach you a bit at the end you can sing. But you can’t let me down. I just saw how loud you can be.”

I stand up and grab my guitar from the stand and sling it around my neck.

“This is called ‘Home,’” I say into the microphone.

This is my favorite of my songs. Don’t get me wrong, I love “Latch,” but I feel like “Home” is more me. Plus, “Home” encourages audience participation because of the repeated choruses at the end whereas “Latch” is a ballad.

“You can’t let me down,” I say before singing the last chorus. “You’ve been studying and here is your test.”

And people actually sing along! This doesn’t happen very often. Usually by now they’re back to their original conversations they were having before I went on and are completely disregarding me. But this makes my heart happy.

When I play the last chord there is long and loud applause.

“Thank you so much for listening. Honestly, that doesn’t happen very often and you’ve all made my week. Have a fantastic night,” I nod at all them. The boy in the hood catches my eye again. He’s beaming while clapping.

I unplug my guitar, return it to the case that’s sitting in the back of the stage and walk over to the bar.

“That was insane!” I exclaim and sit down in front of where Steve is standing, with the bar separating us.

He laughs. “Yeah! That group in the back was a bit rowdy, but they were having fun,” he plops a laminated menu in front of me. “What will it be tonight? I think you deserve a treat after that.”

I shoot him a gracious smile and my eyes fall to the menu. My heart is still going a thousand miles an hour from being up there, but for the first time, I’m not anxious at all, but rather grateful for everything that just happened.

“You know what, I deserve it, I’m getting a cheeseburger and fries,” I proclaim.

“Coming right up,” he nods at me and scribbles on a little notepad he has in his hand. Then he reaches down and gives me my backpack over the counter with a stern glance. “I know you don’t finish your work. I can’t let you do this if your grades slip.”

I roll my eyes and take my calculus notebook out and wave in front of him. He nods and then disappears into the kitchen to get my order in. I sigh as my eyes fall on my homework again. It was nice living out my fantasy for a while but now it’s time to go back to reality. My head hurts just thinking about doing this problem, but it must get done—and if I don’t do it right now then it will never get done.

“I’m sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say that you did really well up there,” an accented voice says behind me.

I turn around and smile. It’s the boy with the hood up, but he finally took it down revealing a mess of fiery orange hair.

“Thank you so much!” I respond. “It seemed like your group really enjoyed it.”

He blushes. “Yeah. It’s been a long few days and we just needed to have a bit of fun. I’m Ed by the way.”

He sticks out his hand for me to shake.

“Cassidy,” I take his hand and shake it.

P.S. The songs are “Latch” by Disclosure and “Home” by Gabrielle Aplin. All of Cassidy’s songs that she sings will be Gabrielle Aplin’s.

[potter-loves-malfoy]

“Drabble” prompt meme

7- “I almost lost you”

A/N: Hey so this ended up being very not a drabble (~3k words) but it’s not beta’d so there’s that. For @chanandler-b0n9

Having an Auror as a boyfriend was hard, to say the very least. It was a dangerous and demanding job; with a weird, unstable working schedule.

You would think that after 5 years of dating an Auror, Harry would be used to it. Well, that wasn’t at all the case. It was still as hard as the first, the fiftieth time he got an owl from Draco saying he needed to cancel their date because he was busy with a case that was time sensitive and he was terribly sorry. It was still hard when he had to sit in an eerily silent and too clean hallway at St. Mungo’s waiting for someone, anyone, to tell him that Draco was okay. It was hard waiting alone at the tiny muggle family restaurant where they usually meet after work on Fridays for two hours without so much as an owl telling him that Draco was safe and would be back at Grimmauld Place (in which they practically lived together, though not officially) as usual when he was done with whatever case he was working on at the moment. The latter was happening currently. Harry checked his watch — second anniversary present from Draco, because they’d once had to obliviate everyone in that very restaurant after Harry cast a Tempus, forgetting that they were surrounded by muggles. It was 22:07, two hours and seven minutes after when they were supposed to meet. Harry bit his lip, worried, going through every single awful thing that might have happened to Draco in his head. He got up, apologizing to Joy, the old lady that owns the restaurant for having to leave while dismissing her questions of whether Draco was alright, trying to reassure her (and himself). Harry walked into the alley behind the restaurant, and sent a Patronus to Draco asking if he was alright and then another to the DMLE about whether Draco was out on the field, working a case. Right after his two stags went off, Harry apparated back to Grimmauld Place. He was greeted by Draco’s cat, Lyra who stayed in Grimmauld Place more often than not as she didn’t like to be alone and Draco’s flat was likely to be empty more frequently. “Hello, Lyra,” Harry said managing a small smile. “Care to keep me company while we wait for Draco?” Lyra meowed in response and followed Harry into the study where Harry’s floo was. Harry sat on the armchair across from the floo with Lyra lying on his side and just waited and waited and waited until he fell asleep. —————————————————————— Harry woke up to the sound of someone calling his name. “Draco? Are you back?” He mumbled sleepily, trying to feel the area around him for his glasses before realizing that he never took them off. “Sorry, Harry, it’s Hermione. They brought Draco into St. Mungo’s about te-“ Harry shot right up at the mention of his boyfriend in possible danger making Lyra meow her complaint and jump off the armchair. “Is he okay? What happened? How long has he been there? I’m coming through.” “Oh, hang on a bit and let me speak. I was just saying that they brought him in ten minutes ago. As for whether he’s okay...” Hermione trailed off with a wary look on her face. “We don’t really know yet, Harry.” “I’m coming through, Hermione,” Harry said, already reaching for his wand and the floo powder. “Harry, there’s really not much you can-“ “Hermione. I’m coming,” Harry said in a way that left no room for further argument. He watched as Hermione’s face disappeared from the flames and Harry walked into the flames and came out into Hermione’s office on the other side. “Harry, he’s going to be alright, Healer Milner’s in there with him and his vitals were fine the last time I was in and if something had gone worse they would’ve alerted me,” Hermione said, as Harry brushed off the ashes on his muggle jeans. “Do you know what happened?” “I don’t know for sure, the Aurors that brought him in said that he got hit by a curse but it was cast wordlessly and we weren’t able to identify it. He’s unconscious now,” Hermione said before she was interrupted by a Healer trainee at her door.

“Healer Granger, you’re needed with Auror Malfoy.”

“Why? Did he get worse? Is he awake?” Harry walked towards the trainee making her take a step back, intimidated and surprised by the sudden outburst.

“I-I don’t know, Mr. Potter, sir. Healer Milner just told me to fetch Healer Granger, sir.”

Hermione looked at Harry pointedly as if to say ‘behave’ and then turned to the trainee. “Thank you for letting me know, Emily, you can tell Healer Milner that I’ll be there right away.”

The trainee nodded at Hermione and then at Harry not looking either in the eye, before slipping away.

“Do you think you can wait here without terrorizing the trainees, Harry? I’ll let you know what’s happening as soon as I can. And before you ask no you can’t get in with me you’d just be getting in our way.”

“Fine, but I’ll wait by the door of the operation room.”

—————————————————————

As soon as I can my ass, Harry thought, glancing at his watch. The hallway was too bright, his chair was too stiff and the hallway was too silent. It was almost as if St. Mungo’s was designed to keep people from waiting for their loved ones to be better. Harry wondered why hospitals — muggle and wizarding — were never designed to be comforting and warm, people sure needed to be comforted when in such a place. He didn’t think a hospital could ever feel comforting, but he thought they could at least try.

He put his head in his hands and tried to block out the too bright too white lights. He felt the weight of the little velvet box in his jacket pocket. It felt too heavy now. Now that he thought he might never get to give it to Draco, that he couldn’t even try. He was going to propose tonight. 

Or last night, he thought looking at his watch that showed that it was nearing 3 am the next day. He couldn’t lose Draco, not now, not ever but especially not now.

Harry heard a door open near him and raised his head up from his hands. Hermione stepped out of the door adjusting her lime green Healer’s robes and sat next to Harry.

“We found the spell that hit Draco. Well, we don’t know the incantation, it must have been a custom spell that was developed by the castor or one of their accomplices. But we’ve found how it works more or less,” Hermione said before Harry interrupted her to get to the point.

“It seems like a variation of the Cruciatus combined with an Incendio. The castor seems to have managed to hit him enough times or with enough force that he burned part of his left lung. He likely passed out from the pain and asphyxiation combined. Draco’s under a Statis charm that’s keeping him unconscious and we’re still working on healing the burn, but other than that, he doesn’t have any critical wounds,” Hermione said before adding. “The curse seems to have worked fast, Harry, we might not have been able to heal him had they brought him in a minute later. But they didn’t, and Draco is going to be fine. We’ve cast multiple cooling charms to stop the burning from continuing and patched up the parts of his lung that took the most damage. We’re going to be taking off the Statis charm in a bit but keeping him unconscious overnight to give his body time to heal itself.”

“Can I see him?” Harry asked, sounding a bit more desperate than he’d normally like but this wasn’t a really normal time.

“In a little bit, yes, Healer Milner’s just running a couple more tests to see if we’ve missed anything and you know diagnostic spells take a little time. Once he’s done we’ll just remove the Statis and you can come see him, though he’s going to be unconscious.”

“Okay,” Harry said, his voice weak. “Can I stay here with him through the night? I’d like to be here when he wakes up.”

“I suppose it can’t hurt, though I will have to speak to Healer Milner about it, he’s the main Healer for Draco,” Hermione said, her eyes turning soft, different from when she’s being a ‘Healer’. “He’s going to be okay, Harry, we’re doing our best.”

Hermione went in to hug Harry and he felt himself relax into the hug. “Thanks, ‘mione.”

——————————————————————

Harry watched the permanent Tempus charm on the wall of Draco’s room blankly. Hermione had left a couple minutes ago but not before telling Harry to get some sleep. She was only called in because it was Draco and she was listed as one of Draco’s usual Healers, her shift at St. Mungo’s had actually ended at 8 pm today.

Harry looked away from the Tempus that was now blinking, indicating the start of a new hour — 4 am. He took in his boyfriend’s more-pale-than-usual face and white blonde hair that was now a greyish blonde with dirt. Draco normally looked peaceful and elegant in his sleep but now he was neither. 

He looks dead, Harry thought. The only thing giving Harry comfort and telling him that Draco was, in fact, not dead was the rise and fall of his chest.

“Hermione left a couple minutes ago,” Harry said. “I… I don’t know if you heard. I don’t know if you actually can hear or if that’s just something they tell visitors just to keep them from going insane waiting.”

Harry took in a deep breath and held Draco’s limp hand in one of his own. “I was going to ask you something today,” he started, feeling the ring box through his pocket. “I’m not gonna tell you what, just in case you can hear me, I don’t want to spoil the surprise. It’s nothing bad, I-I mean I don’t think it’s something bad and hopefully, you don’t think it’s bad either. It was just kind of important, I guess, but it’s nothing that can’t wait until you wake up. Well, it kind of has to wait now but, um, what I’m saying is it’s okay.”

Harry let out a weak laugh. “I’m rambling, aren’t I? You would’ve probably shut me up by now, if you weren’t…” Harry sighed. “You know. Anyway, Hermione told me to get some sleep but I really don’t know how I can. I just, I almost lost you. I really thought for a while there, waiting for Hermione to come out of your operation room, that I might actually lose you. Draco, I knew before this that I loved you and I’m not gonna be cliché and say that I can’t live without you because, well, that’s a lie; I’m pretty sure I could, if I tried but Draco, I wouldn’t want to live without you.”

Harry felt Draco’s hand twitch and looked up at Draco’s face to see if maybe whatever charm they used to keep Draco unconscious was wearing off. Harry was half expecting to see Draco awake and rolling his eyes at Harry for being sappy. He wasn’t awake or rolling his eyes at Harry. He was just as unconscious as he was ten minutes ago.

Harry sighed and brushed Draco’s hair out of his eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding Draco’s. “I just really want you to wake up and make fun of me for being a sap.”

Harry thought he saw Draco’s eyelids flutter but all movement had stopped — if it ever existed — when Harry blinked.

——————————————————————

When Harry came to, the Tempus charm on the wall showed 07:16, not that Harry could see it. Harry felt for his glasses on the nightstand next to Draco’s hospital bed and put them on, taking in his surroundings. He looked over at Draco to see if he was awake, hoping that he was awake.

Alas, Draco was not awake, or at least he didn’t look it even if he was. Harry let out a sigh and put his head in his hands, rubbing at his temple.

“Still moping, are you, Potter?”

Harry’s head snapped up at the sound of Draco’s voice seeing the tired but genuine smile on his face. “You’re awake!” he exclaimed, lunging at Draco for a hug before remembering the condition that Draco was in and slowing his motions, which resulted in a somewhat awkward hug. But Harry didn’t even care that it was awkward, because Draco was hugging him back — not very tightly but that was to be expected — because Draco could hug him back, because he was alive. And then Harry was kissing Draco, he was kissing his lips, his cheeks, his eyes, his neck, every little bit of skin he could find.

“Very sound analysis,” Draco said through kisses, making Harry pull back and grin at him.

“Stop being a git,” Harry said, laughing before turning more serious. “You scared me, Draco, I thought you might not…” Harry trailed off, not wanting to say that he was afraid of Draco not waking up.

“I know, Harry, I did hear you, you know, when you spoke to me. Granted I don’t remember most of what you said but I did hear you,” Draco said softly before his tone turned teasing. “Though I’m not sure anyone could remember a lot of what you said with your rambling, unconscious or not.”

Harry hummed trying and failing to conceal his happiness. “It seems I need you to shut me up when I’m rambling, or else I go on for ages.”

“I can think of a couple fun ways to stop your rambling, though I’m not quite sure my body would allow me to do either one. So do try not to go on for ages, love.”

“Well, you’re already making jokes at my expense so I think you’ll be up in no time,” Harry said.

Draco hummed before changing the subject. “You said last night that you were meaning to ask me something?”

Harry laughed nervously, “Yeah, though I’m not sure this is the right setting for it,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“What if I told you I didn’t care,” Draco said. “You made me very curious and I think that I can’t wait any longer for it.”

“Well then, just remember that I’m only doing this now, here, because you couldn’t wait. So you can’t blame it on me,” Harry said before taking in a deep breath and locked his eyes with Draco’s. “Draco, I love you more than anything you know that, right?”

“Well, I had an inkling but I figured I might be a close second to your non-profit for muggleborns,” Draco said with a teasing smile.

Harry laughed, shaking his head before continuing as if Draco didn’t say anything. “Well, I do, love you. And it’s still mind-blowing to me how we’re like this now, happy and in love when we were how we were at Hogwarts. I just sit and think about how far we’ve come and it’s been over five years, Draco, but I still don’t believe it sometimes.”

“Does this have a point, Potter?” Draco asked, but he was smiling.

“Yeah, sorry. I, uh, had something prepared but I’m blanking now so you have to bear with me for a couple more minutes. Maybe you’ll remember that last night I said that I could live without you if I tried and that’s true but I meant it when I said I don’t want to live without you. And I know I’ve said before that marriage is meaningless other than just making everything official but I want you in my life and maybe making things official isn’t such a bad thing after all,” Harry said taking another deep breath before getting on one knee and taking the little black velvet box out from his pocket. “Draco, will you marry me?”

“Yes.”