#sorry I want to try and take regular mental health breaks you know how it is

[barbaracleboy]

Omega’s Assault: Chapter 1

Note: the following couple paragraphs are some backstory on this fic and whatnot. If you’re only interested in the fic itself (totally valid, I mean it, I won't judge) then you can just click “Keep Reading” and go from there. Otherwise...

So, about a year ago, Tumblr user @akuma74 posted about a dream he had, where Deadlanders attacked Bugaria and all the kingdoms had to work together to fight them off. Even the Wasp King had to join in against the threat. Here is the post referencing said dream (https://akuma74.tumblr.com/post/677235418689863680/i-just-have-a-dream-where-the-deadlander-attacked)

Now, I thought this was a very cool idea, so I replied to his post saying I might like to write a small fic based on it. A bit later, I finished Chapter 1 of said fic. My intent was for there to be only two Chapters and to post all of them to Tumblr once they were finished...however, I ended up having more and more and more ideas for this story and the way it currently is it’s looking more like it’ll be four Chapters long (I’m confident it’ll stay that way, though). With that in mind, plus the fact that I’ve been so dreadfully slow on this story, I thought that I might as well quit wasting time and just bring them to Tumblr for people to read. To Akuma, I apologize for taking so long and I hope you enjoy what I’ve written so far: I will continue it and I won’t take as long to get Chapters 3 and 4 out as I did Chapter 2. To anyone that doesn’t want to read the story on Tumblr, here’s the link to it on AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/40301664/chapters/100948233). Chapter 2 is queued to be posted on Tumblr later today. For now, please enjoy...

Bugaria was off today, though nobody could really understand why. There was just something unusual about...everything. The "aura", as it were, was not as it tended to be. Though this feeling of (for lack of better words) unease was felt by most in Bugaria, the mystery as to why it was happening led many to not think much of it. Things felt strange, yet most didn't feel necessarily unsafe...not at the moment...

On the Balcony of The Hive, Elias looked around the land with the use of his patented Eliascope. He was stunned by the beauty of the surrounding areas, and quite proud of himself for creating something to so easily observe it all (some might say too proud). Vilma was on the balcony as well, taking in the warm desert air and relaxing.

Vilma: Mr. Elias, that device of yours is quite interesting. You say you can see all throughout Bugaria with it?

Elias: Haha, indeed! See for yourself, Miss.

Vilma giggled as she stepped up and leaned down into the looking glass of the Eliascope, and she was enamored as she used it to scan across the Lost Sands. This was not her first time using it, mind you, but the experience was still so novel and extraordinary for her. This excitement was halted, however, when Vilma froze up. It would seem she caught sight of something odd.

Elias: Miss? Are you well?

Vilma: I-I...I think...I saw something moving...something large...

Elias: Large, you say? Let me see that, if you will.

Vilma stepped aside, allowing Elias to look into his telescope once more, and he was shocked to find a colossal silhouette moving in the distance. After a bit of shuffling the silhouette turned towards his direction, making his blood run cold, before a large arm emerged from the silhouette and pushed away some of the nearby grass. Another arm reached out and patted the ground near the Wasp Kingdom, almost like it was testing it.

Vilma: D-do you see it too?

Elias: I...think I do? There's a giant...thing over there...what is it doing?

More arms came from the silhouette, pushing away the grass and reaching further into the Far Grasslands. The figure then pulled itself into better view, and it was a terrifying sight to behold: it almost resembled a twisted, charred tree branch, with pointy fingers upon twisted hands upon bony arms in large numbers. All over its body were huge, yellow eyes that seemed to cast a light onto whatever they looked upon...and right now multiple were looking straight at Elias.

Vilma: I-I-Is it looking at us???

Elias couldn't talk. He couldn't form any sort of coherent thoughts, but despite this his mind was racing with all sorts of emotions (amazement, shock, confusion), chief among them being sheer terror. This terror grew until the many-armed, many-eyed creature started crawling towards The Hive, at which point Elias fell over and screamed so loud he could even be heard from Defiant Root all the way down below.

Elias: IT IS COMING TOWARDS US!!!!!

Just about every Bug currently on the Balcony rushed over to see what the Mantis was screaming about, and when they saw the same colossus he and Vilma saw they all flew into an unprecedented panic. They were screaming and running, some Bees even started flying off the Balcony to try and escape. Some Bugs kneeled and prayed, hoping that Venus or any other god that was listening would protect them. Vilma, meanwhile, rushed to the Queen Bianca's Throne Room, and the guards were surprised to see the state she was in. Vilma was breathless and her voice was shaking as she tried to speak and open the doors at the same time.

Vilma: B-Belle, Nina, w-w-we we need to tell the Queen!

Belle: Vilma?! What are you doing, why-

Vilma: We need to tell her, she'll know what to do!!!

Vilma burst into the Throne Room, catching Queen Bianca and Tuvi (to whom the Queen was giving reassurance) off guard.

Bianca: Vilma? My goodness, dear, you look like you've seen a ghost.

Vilma: I-it's worse than that!!!

Tuvi: W-w-w-worse than a ghost!?

Vilma: Qu-Qu-Queen B-Bianca! The-the-the Eliascope saw something, it-it was terrible, I-I-

Vilma was panicked like something Bianca had never seen before. She had always been a cheerier soul, and the Queen was morbidly curious as to what she had seen. She often tried to avoid physical force, but Bianca grabbed Vilma by the shoulders and held her still in an effort to calm her down.

Bianca: Vilma, love. Listen to me: What happened? What was it that you saw?

Vilma could do nothing but hyperventilate.

Bianca: Please, Vilma, if it is dangerous you NEED to tell me.

Vilma:...A Giant is moving towards The Hive!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vi was currently in Queen Elizant II's Throne Room, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. It was hardly appropriate behavior around both fellow explorers and a Monarch but (luckily for Vi and her team) it was hardly noticed.

Elizant: If all is understood, Explorers, then it is time for you to move out. You will-

Suddenly, the palace began to tremble, and the already-annoyed Vi let out a groan in frustration.

Vi: Uuugggghhhh, what now???

Kabbu: A tremor?! I-is everything alright?!

Leif: Gods, we never felt something like that before...

Multiple Ant Guards ran into the Throne Room, all calling out for the Queen in a jumbled panic. Elizant stamped her foot, demanding attention (and also in a bout of frustration).

Elizant: Silence!!! What is so urgent that you all need to stumble over yourselves???

Ant Guard: Th-there is a monster attacking Bugaria! You need to see it!

Elizant: A...monster?

Everyone in the Throne Room quickly ran outside of the Palace, and when they looked up to the East they were all in utter shock.

Kabbu: Th...that is...f-f-far too...b-big!

Leif: What is it?...

Vi was uneasy, to her own surprise: after her team bested the Spider that haunted Snakemouth for so long, and a Guardian created by Venus herself, she honestly wasn't worried by the sounds of this "monster" the guards went on about. She couldn't fathom such a horrifying sight being what they referred to, but it had to be. The last time she was this scared was when she and Kabbu first saw the Spider of Snakemouth. At that time she genuinely wanted to give up for a moment, and go back home...home...Vi took a closer look at the monster, and noticed that it was not looking towards the Ant Kingdom, but the Bee Kingdom.

Vi: Wha-it's moving towards The Bee Hive!!!

Gen: Wh-what?

Eri: Oh no, they're doomed!!!

Vi never imagined something like this happening. She was happy to leave The Hive, and happy not to think of it again...but she didn't want it in peril. Almost childishly, Vi tugged on the Ant Queen's dress to get her attention.

Vi: Queen Elizant! We gotta do something, right? W-we're not just gonna let that thing attack the Bees, r-right?

Elizant bowed her head and didn't answer for a moment: it would seem that she was in deep thought. After some time, she finally looked to Vi in response.

Elizant:...The Bees are our allies...Queen Bianca is a close friend...We shall mobilize and head to the Bee Kingdom posthaste.

Kina: We were going there anyway, right? For the artifact or whatever?

Elizant: We were and still are. Kina, you are to head there and give them the materials they need to replace their core.

Leif: [How could she still be thinking of the Sapling at a time like this?!]

Elizant: Team Snakemouth will join me on the way to the Golden Settlement. From there we shall take the path that leads us to Defiant Root and The Hive.

Kabbu: Oh no, I hope everyone there is safe...

Vi:...Yeah...

Elizant: The rest of you are to evacuate as many Bugs as possible towards the Golden Settlement and keep them as safe as you can.

Celia: Right, Your Highness!

Elizant: Team Snakemouth, we must hurry.

Leif lagged behind and sneered when he knew the Queen can't see him before leaning over to Kabbu and whispering.

Leif: She disgusts us. Who knows what that THING could do and yet she still wants to get the Artifact???

Vi: Who cares? We gotta focus on helping everybody, we can worry about who does and doesn't suck at ruling later!

Kabbu: Vi, you...you have a point, I believe. Leif, we must do what we can now, and other concerns will be dealt with later.

Leif:...You're right...we've got issues with her, but if mobilizing means we can help Bugs in peril, we should...

So the Explorers went about their duties: Team Snakemouth followed the Ant Queen as the other explorers did what they could to gather and calm down the Ant Kingdom citizens. It was difficult, however, as the monster loomed in the distance and continued stomping, sending shockwaves throughout the land...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Under the Wasp King's orders, the entirety of the Wasp Kingdom was evacuating. The titan that was so close to their hive that it could stomp and crush all of them in but an instant, and they were blessed that it (for whatever reason) had its focus elsewhere. Even still, the Wasp King refused to have his subjects in such a compromising position, so he ordered them all to leave and bring any prisoners and Wasps that couldn't move along with them. The Wasps were in no place to refuse, even if they wanted to: few Bugs would wish to remain near the monster that had just entered Bugaria. The Wasp King himself came to Queen Vanessa II's bedroom, and she looked to him in disgust as he tried grabbing her hand.

Wasp King: Come with me.

Vanessa pulled her arm away.

Vanessa: Don't you dare try to touch me, menace!

Wasp King: The only "Menace" is the one outside my kingdom, now-

Vanessa: Your Kingdom?!

Wasp King: Yes, mine! You are clearly a failure at keeping it orderly, now follow me. I will need soldiers in the future, and you are too useful to lose.

Vanessa: You...

A pair of Wasp Drillers showed up to either side of Vanessa, and she was forced along by them to follow her captor and usurper.

Wasp King: GENERAL ULTIMAX!

The General rushed up to his king, though he was clearly not in his best state of mind either. His legs quivered, and the fear in his voice was palpable.

Ultimax: Y-yes, your highness?

Wasp King: Get into your tank: you are to distract the beast outside so that we can escape.

Vanessa: Distract? Are you asking him to sacrifice himself?!

Wasp King: For the good of the kingdom, you idiotic wench.

Vanessa: How could-

Wasp King: Now, Ultimax! Do NOT fail me!

Ultimax: I...y-yes, your majesty!...

General Ultimax ran to prepare his tank as the Wasp King and his guards brought the Queen outside. When they left the hive they saw droves of Wasps moving through the Far Grasslands. Guards were on the ready to deal with any hostile forces, but there were few to speak of: the colossus had scared all but the Wasps themselves away. Vanessa held her head down, both ashamed and angry, and tried not to look at the state she was in now.

Wasp Guard: My king! We noticed a foreign Mantis running from our grounds, and he was carrying what looked like a small larva: we feel he may have been a spy!

Wasp King: We will deal with him later.

Wasp Guard: Later? But sire, we-

Wasp King: We need to worry solely about ourselves. When we are in a better position we shall search for and eliminate this "spy", but for now you shall do as you are told!

Vanessa: Hoaxe, you are vile and heartless.

Wasp King: I know how to get what I want. You are pathetic and ignorant. Really, I should have been made king long ago, I understand how to put my kingdom's needs first.

Vanessa was about to say more when she caught sight of the monster they were evacuating from. Just one of its limbs was taller than the entirety of her hive, and they were numerous enough that counting them felt fruitless.

Vanessa: Is...is that the Deadlander Omega?

Suddenly, the creature looked down to see Vanessa and those keeping her hostage. It was just about to stomp on them when the Wasp King blasted multiple of its eyeballs with fire.

Wasp King: FASTER, ALL OF YOU!!!

The Wasps did as they were told, evacuating as the Deadlander roared. Vanessa wasn't even sure if Hoaxe's attack had damaged it, but that worry was overtaken by a separate one when the Ultimax Tank drove in and shot at the beast further. Vanessa reached out in fear as the general drew the enormous monster's attention.

Vanessa: Fuff, no!

Wasp King: Silence, fool, and move!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Team Snakemouth and Queen Elizant II trekked through the Lost Sands, they were able to catch more and more glimpses of the monster, the Deadlander Omega, to the East. It was seemingly in combat, fighting off blasts from something. Though the creature's sheer size made it clear as day, what exactly it was fighting was hard to make out at the distance they were watching from.

Vi: If...if that thing's in a fight...we can take it out too, can't we?

Leif: Well, that depends on if it's taking any damage in its "fight", and we aren't too sure of that.

Elizant: As long as the monster is distracted, that is all that matters for now. We must reach The Hive quickly, then we can make other plans.

Kabbu's arm was tugged by a small tendril, and he was lightly pulled to a spot behind a rock to find one of Venus's Buds. Vi and Leif slipped away from the Queen as they shared in Kabbu's shock.

Kabbu: V-Venus! Is that you? Why-

Venus: No time to explain, Kabbu! I have something important to tell you: a giant-

Leif: Monster's attacking Bugaria? We figured that out, we're afraid.

Venus: Ha...I should've guessed, with how big it is...you're not going to try and fight it, are you?

Vi: We fought a Goddess and won, right? I'm sure we can find a way to fight this thing!

Venus: You fought a guardian of a goddess that she made in less than a minute. This creature...it's on a whole other level.

Leif: Can't you do anything to stop it, then?

Venus: Unfortunately, I only have so much power...what's more...that power is waning.

Kabbu: Waning?

Venus: It's a long story, and I'm not sure even I fully get it, but the important thing is that a force that was felt within the very land here is gone, or at least weaker. I think that's why that monster's attacking in the first place.

Vi: What're we supposed to do with that info???

Venus: You're supposed to be careful, okay? Just...watch yourselves...protect yourselves...I'm not sure how much I can do.

Kabbu:...We shall do what we can, Venus. May your blessing guide us forward.

Vi and Leif nodded in affirmation with Kabbu before all three of them slipped back to Queen Elizant's side.

Elizant: Team Snakemouth! Where have you been?

Vi: Uhh, we tripped?

Elizant:...No matter. We cannot afford to stall any longer...

By the time the group made it to Defiant Root, just about everyone there was gone: the Bees had evacuated them to the Golden Settlment (leaving it rather crowded there now), though the feeling of unease was no less prevalant.

Kabbu: Gods, I was hoping my next time coming here would be...more pleasant...

Vi:...

Leif: It is what it is, all we can do is try and protect as many as we can...

Elizant: We must get the artifact, and then we will discuss further plans.

Elizant moved towards the elevator of the Bee Hive, encountering a large, shivering Bee.

Elizant: Are you the one that runs the el-

Big Bee: AH! S-S-STAY BACK!!!

Vi: Aebees, it's fine! We're not-

Aebees: Vi? VI, HOLY CRAP, I WAS SCARED THAT THING GOT YOU OR-

Vi: It didn't, okay? Now c'mon, we need to meet with the Queen, we gotta get the artifact!

Aebees: A-artifact? Like what that Mantis earlier was talking about?

Kabbu: Kina! Yes, Kina came earlier to deliver the materials with which you can build a replacement for your Honey Factory Core!

Aebees: I-I don't understand any of that, I just know that there's a giant monster in the distance fighting something and I don't wanna be here!

As Aebees said, the Deadlander was still in combat, and it roared in pain and fury as its opponent fired more blasts into its eyes. It slammed into the ground several times, just barely missing its target, before Elizant turned to Aebees.

Elizant:...Have us raised up. We will resolve our situation in The Hive, and you may evacuate to the Golden Settlement.

Aebees: You're gonna stop the monster!?

Elizant: We need you to let us up.

Aebees: O-okay, okay! Just...please try and hurry. I'm not sure how long whatever's over there is gonna be distracted...

Queen Elizant nodded before she and Team Snakemouth boarded the elevator and were brought up to The Hive. As they were lifted, they heard the roaring of the Deadlander Omega and saw it pick something up.

Kabbu: That beast...can it truly be stopped?

Vi: You can kill anything if you hit it hard enough!

Leif: For now we need to focus on helping each other...we need to focus on keeping everybody safe...

Leif glared at Elizant, and perhaps he was lucky that she was too busy with her own thoughts to notice...

Once the group made it into The Hive and past its scanners, they spotted various Bugs in varying states of panic. Each roar of the Deadlander sent more terror into these Bugs, but Elizant was steadfast as she looked for Queen Bianca. It didn't take long to find her, as she had been outside her Throne Room and trying to calm the others for a while now. When she spotted Elizant she was quick to run over and take the Ant Queen's hands into her own.

Bianca: Elizant! Oh, thank the gods that you are safe! Was it hard to get here? Were you attacked?

Elizant: I am fine, Bianca, thank you for your concern. However, I have-

Bianca: Oh! Violet!

Queen Bianca quickly picked up Vi and hugged her for dear life. In any other case Vi would be quick to push herself off of whoever would squeeze her like this, though for now she merely asked to be put down repeatedly.

Bianca: Oh, my darling! My dear, dear, daughter! I am so sorry we pushed you away, I never wanted you in so much danger, please tell me you're unharmed, please-

Vi: Queen Bianca, I'm good! Just, p-put me down! We got things to do!

Bianca stopped for a moment, as if she had realized how unusual she was acting, and put Vi down with a calmness much unlike what she was just displaying.

Bianca: Y-you are right, Vi. I...I apologize for that. I meant what I said, however, we shouldn't have-

Vi: Mo-Q-Queen Bianca...Queen Elizant needs something.

Elizant was silent, but one could sense a sort of unease coming from her. Almost a sort of regret.

Bianca: Oh yes...the...the trade that Team Maki mentioned. They are explorers of yours, correct, Elizant?

Elizant: We need that trade done as swiftly as possible, Bianca. As soon as it is complete we can focus on evacuation and protection, as well as what we should do about...the creature.

Bianca:...I am very sorry, Elizant. I know we had a deal...but I cannot agree to it at the moment.

Elizant pulled her hands out of Bianca's, but before she could say anything Kabbu gasped and got the Bee Queen's attention himself.

Kabbu: Wait, Queen Bianca, you mentioned Team Maki...Did Sir Maki come here?

Maki: Yes, Kabbu.

Elizant and Team Snakemouth were shocked to notice Maki walking up behind him, a grey Caterpillar by his side.

Vi: Wait, is that a baby? Where'd you find a baby???

Maki: That does not matter, Vi. Yin here was in an unsafe position, near that Giant, and I refuse to have left her alone there.

Yin: Muh...

Elizant:...Bianca...Ple-...Listen to me, we must-

Elizant stopped suddenly, and drew out her swords before jumping forward and getting into a battle stance.

Elizant: You!

On another side of the area was the Wasp King, soldiers surrounding him, Queen Vanessa in tow...

[creepswrites]

Hi, I just read your hcs about reader struggling with anxiety and depression, it was really great! I am also sorry you're going through tough times rn, I really really hope you'll feel better soon. Tbh I've been going through something myself and reading the Sinclair brothers' hcs, it reminded me of an idea I've wanted to eequest for a long while. I would like to request for the Siclair brothers (separately) x gn!reader headcanons where the reader struggles with mental health issues, but since they don't really leave Ambrose they can't get to their medication. How would they approach the brothers about it, would they hide it, how would the brothers react, you know.

Of course you can work on this when you feel like it, if you're not feeling like it with what's going on in your life. Or scrap the idea altogether, or add whoever you want. Thank you so much for letting me get my thoughts out tho <3 You are valid. You are loved. You are seen.

thank you for the kind wishes, i do appreciate it :) i tried to keep this relatively inclusive as to what exactly reader is suffering from but some stuff may be a lil specific. and don't worry, writing helps distract me so i'm happy to do this <3

SINCLAIR BROTHERS x GN! READER WHO NEEDS THEIR MEDICATION

BO SINCLAIR

You absolutely tried to hide it at first. How could you not?

Bo wasn't exactly... understanding about that kind of thing

I mean, you've seen how he acts with Vincent sometimes and thats his own brother. You don't want to imagine how he'd treat you if he knew...

But you knew the longer you went without your prescriptions, the more difficult things would get

It started small. Your moods would change randomly and very drastically - one extreme to another or you'd have trouble sleeping or oversleeping or - your least favorite - you'd lash out at one of the brothers for seemingly nothing

Bo noticed. He didn't say anything about it because he assumed that, if it was that important, you'd tell him

So when you had a full on meltdown on the kitchen floor one afternoon, he was blindsided

He had no idea it'd gotten this bad and, unfortunately, his first reaction was to get mad at you. He yelled at you, tried to get you to pull yourself together. After all, if you had been suffering, you would've told him! Right...?

It's not until your crying abruptly stops that he realizes he fucked up. You shut down on him, near catatonic as he tries to apologize

He's scared. And when he's scared, he lashes out. You know that. It still doesn't make it hurt less

The brothers agree that there needs to be regular trips made so you can get your medication. Lester offers to take you since he's the one who goes to town the most anyways

You and Bo get into an argument about it once or twice because he doesn't understand why you wouldn't tell him

His heart breaks a little when you tell him you didn't think he'd believe you or would look at you differently for it

He reassures you that no, never. He totally understands the moodswings, the angry episodes you have, those things

Once you're on your meds again, you two promise that if anything major like this happens for either of you, that you can always lean on each other

Bo takes time getting there but he grows to understand you and figure out how best to help you!

VINCENT SINCLAIR

You tell Vincent pretty early on that you need medication

While you don't give him many specifics as to why, you tell him that life will be better for all of you if you keep taking them

At first he's a little apprehensive of letting you go into town so Bo goes with you to pick it up

Not because he doesn't believe you! But because he's scared you're still trying to escape

He wants to know what they're for so he's not above snooping around to read the labels

(You'd tell him if he asked but he didn't know that)

The amount you take surprises him and he tries to think about what you're like off them, in a morbidly curious way

He is, however, insistent that you're taking them consistently and without interruption. Vince makes sure you take them every day and gets on his brother's cases if they give you a hard time about it

They're not cures though. You both find that out the hard way when he finds you trembling in the corner of his shop like you were in freezing weather. The panic attack was violent and took you by surprise but Vincent holds steady

He sits with you, humming soft melodies to try and ground you

When you're ready, he hugs you and you just break down into tears. You'd never wanted him to have to see you like this, you don't want him to think you're some fragile china doll who can't take care of themself

But he would never see you like that. You explain that, while the meds make them less frequent, you're not cured completely

Things will slip through the cracks sometimes and that's okay! He'll always be there when you need him

When he catches you scratching yourself anxiously, he buys you gloves and makes sure you keep your nails short

He catches you picking at your face and gets you small bandages you can place over the spots so you don't obsessively pick

Vincent is always doing little things to try and improve your quality of life, even if you're taking medication!

LESTER SINCLAIR

You don't really tell him but you also don't hide it from him either

He notices you taking pills every morning and every night and is able to put two and two together

Probably asks you what they're for once you two have been dating for a bit but it doesn't really change much in your relationship

He's relatively chill about it though and offers to take you into town to pick up your meds

Likes to hoard pills for you so you never run out - it's an irrational fear of his but you think its sweet

Whenever you get sad, Jonesy and Lester are both right there to comfort you however you need

Sometimes, when the bad thoughts get too loud, Lester catches you staring vacantly into the bathroom mirror or out windows and he worries

One night you wandered out into the woods, barefoot and freezing, just because you felt so out of touch with your own body

Everything felt fake and floaty and you just needed to be out somewhere harsh and grounding and real

You love Lester, you really do, but there, in the forest all alone, all you could think about was how empty you felt

He finds you early the next morning and he was clearly worried sick, still in his sleep clothes with just a flashlight and an anxious Jonesy

Once at home and warm from your shower, he pleads with you to talk to him about it

You finally spill about how you've felt completely dissociated from yourself, even with all the meds you're taking, and it just got to be too much

He gives you a hug and you both agree to try and find other ways to shock you back to reality that don't involve you wandering into the forest at night

Turns out, an ice cube on the back of the neck works wonders to snap you out of whatever stupor you've found yourself in!

Lester is as involved with it as you'd let him. Never ashamed or afraid to lend you a hand with anything!

[loveburrow]

You’ve Got To Prove It To Me

Trigger Warnings: CNC (I guess?), pushing boundaries a little, throwing up, Joe being possessive/angry

Also just now realizing how long this is… sorry 😭

You and Joe had dated for four months before you decided to end things. His fame was just too much for you. The cameras any time you’d go out. The hate comments after he lost a game. Teenage girls judging your every move on tumblr and reddit. Joe was the love of your life, but you couldn’t be with him. He was a superstar and you were a regular girl who worked a regular job. The toll that those four months took on your mental health was something that would take you twice as long to recover from.

Joe loved you though. In fact, in those few short months he knew you were the love of his life too. You were the first girl he’d ever posted on social media. It was even his idea to hard launch you. He was so proud to be with you. You made him the happiest he had ever been. Joe’s not one to beg so when you told him you wanted to end things he let you go without a fight. He loved you so much that he ultimately wanted to see you be happy but he secretly felt so disrespected. So not good enough. So insecure. So embarrassed. He had everything: money, status, fame, an amazing NFL career, and everything that he had worked so hard for got in the way of the one thing he ever truly wanted. A girl like you to be with him. He would have traded it all for you and he hated that the fame ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He gave his full heart to you and you tore it apart. And he wasn’t happy about it.

But little did he know, you were heartbroken as well. So heartbroken that you reconnected with your ex just to feel something. And when all of those old feelings returned, a one night stand turned into a few nights of good old fashioned fucking no strings attached. Somewhere along the way you realized that you deserved more than a situationship. You missed Joe and you wanted him back but you knew he’d never take you. You decided to end things with your ex but not before your planned last night together.

Two months after the breakup when Joe got a random text from you, his heartbeat accelerated. Did you want him back? He sure hoped so but nothing could prepare him for what he saw when he opened the message. There were two photos. A sexy picture of you in beautiful lacy black lingerie and a mirror selfie of you topless. You looked stunning. And Joe was so hopeful until he read the message which said “Excited to see you tonight Hayes.” He blocked your number before throwing his phone at the wall. How dare you.

So a few weeks later when he ran into you at a mutual friend’s wedding, he was pissed. He never wanted to see you again if he couldn’t have you. When you saw that you were seated next to him at the wedding dinner, you couldn’t have been more elated. You planned to tell him how much you missed him, how you were sorry about the breakup, and how you wanted him back if he’d take you. When Joe saw that you were seated next to him at the wedding dinner, he was angry. He was so angry that his face was red as he sat down. Again, you looked stunning. You always did.

“Hey, Joe. How have you been? It’s so good to see you,” you smiled, trying to make a good impression. “I’ve been alright,” he replied, not making eye contact with you. He couldn’t. Your brown eyes had a way of melting him and he didn’t want you have that power over him. Not tonight. “Can we talk outside after this?” you asked kindly. His ears perked up. Did you want him back? “Sure,” he replied trying his best to keep it cool.

After a very awkward dinner, you two stepped outside for some air and a chat. “Joe, to be honest I’ve missed you so much these last few weeks. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I want to be your girl again. I’m so sorry for breaking up with you. You didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t deserve that. You know that having all eyes on me was a lot but I’ll do it if that’s what it takes for us to be together,” you said.

“You know, I always thought you were way too good a girl to ever send nudes to someone. Let alone the first dude who asks,” he stated sternly. “Huh? What are you talking about? I didn’t send nudes to anyone,” you lied. You didn’t know what else to say and you felt embarrassed, realizing what you had done.

“You sent me nudes that were for Hayes after we broke up. So you’re the kind of girl who sends nudes to the first dude who asks. Did you fuck him?” he asked still trying to play it as cool as possible. “Yeah we had sex. I’m so sorry, Joe. It must have been an accident. I didn’t mean for you to ever see those,” you replied.

Joe leaned down closer to your ear and spoke softly but strongly. “(Y/N) I don’t share. You told me your pussy was mine and you gave it to someone else. He can have you,” Joe stated. “Joe, I’m sorry. I was just trying to rebound. You realize that ending things with you hurt me just as bad as it hurt you right?” you replied.

“Really, you had to delete our Instagram pictures after they had been up for weeks and a couple thousand people saw them on your private account. I had to delete them after millions of people saw them. Do you realize how embarrassing that was for me? Remind me never to post a girl on Instagram ever again. You left me lonely. You left me heartbroken. And then you gave your pussy to someone else. And you have the audacity to ask me to be with you again. I’m famous. Dating me comes with all of the things that you knew it would come with the first time so what do you think will be different now?” he asked.

“What’s different now is that I’ve lived life with you and I’ve lived life without you. Life is a beautiful and perfect chaos with you and it’s cloudy and calm and depressing without you. I’m so crazy in love with you, Joe. That never changed and after what went down between me and Hayes, I know it never will. I’ll do anything to be your girl again, Joe. What do you want me to do?” you asked.

No girl was going to embarrass Joe and leave him high and dry like you did and just win him back with a sexy red dress and a smile. He was going to make you earn it. He came closer to you and brushed your hair out of your face with his fingers. He cupped his hand under your chin forcing you to look up at him. “Are you still my good girl?” he asked. You looked him in the eyes and nodded. “Well if I’m going to take you back, you’re going to have to prove it to me okay?” he replied. You nodded again. “Meet me in room 617 at midnight. Wear something that shows me how much you love me.” he commanded before heading back inside.

At midnight on the dot, you knocked on his door wearing a lacy white lingerie set that Joe had bought you a while back. You had packed it hoping you’d end up in this situation. Joe opened the door and immediately took off the oversized t-shirt you were wearing along with your bra and panties and you two wanted no time getting started with a steamy make out session. His kisses were desperate and needy and aggressive. He’d been missing you and he thought he’d never get to kiss you again. But he also felt played by you. Since when does a girl think she can just break up with Joe Burrow? He had to show you who’s boss and he had to make sure you knew whose girl you were.

He sat down on the bed, his back against the headboard with you straddling his lap. You placed both hands on his cheeks and looked longingly into his baby blue eyes. You knew how possessive he was. You knew that if another guy looked in your direction for too long he had a problem. You knew that hooking up with another guy was like driving a knife right through Joe’s chest again and again and again. You never meant for him to find out but now that he knew, you felt awful. His eyes looked so hurt and betrayed.

“Your pussy isn’t mine anymore. You gave it away so you’re gonna have to give me something else that I can have,” Joe stated. “You can have any part of me, Joe. What part of me do you want? ” you replied. “You’re gonna have to give me your throat, okay?” he responded.

You were never the best at blowjobs and that’s something that you opened up to Joe about when you were together. Months ago, you told Joe how blowjobs always made you feel so vulnerable and used. It wasn’t your greatest strength as a girlfriend and one of your previous boyfriends wasn’t kind about it. You knew that Joe was testing you. He wanted to see how far you’d be willing to go for him. He had to make sure you’d do things for him that you wouldn’t do for any other guy. He’s possessive like that. He has to have a piece of you that no one else has. You could look in his eyes and listen to the tone of his voice and know that he was going to push you. But if that’s what it took to be Joe’s girl then he could push as far as he wanted. “It’s yours Joe,” you said.

“Has anyone ever been deep in your throat before?” he asked still holding eye contact with you. You looked so stunning in that set that he’d bought you. “I’ve blowed my boyfriends in the past. I told you that before,” you answered. “Has anyone been deep down your throat before? Have you even taken anyone’s cock all the way down?” he clarified. “No never,” you responded, starting to feel a bit anxious about what he wanted you to do.

“Okay that’s what you’re gonna have to do for me baby. You’re gonna have to give me your throat. You’re gonna have to take my cock all the way down, deeper than you’ve taken anyone else. I want the part of your throat that no one’s ever had and no one else will ever have but me if you run off again,” Joe explained. “Joe, I’m not going to run off again. I don’t know if I can do that. You know my gag reflex is so bad. I hate gagging,” you replied concerned about his request.

“If you want to be mine again you have to show me that you’re a good girl. And that you’re submissive like you’re supposed to be. And that you know who’s in control in this relationship,” he stated, clearly still hurt by you having the audacity to put on the pants in the relationship and break his heart.

“Joe, I don’t think it’s going to work. Like anatomically,” you said, the anxiety really starting to fill your chest. You were a very petite girl. 5’4 and thin. In fact, when you were together half of the comments you’d get were about you and Joey’s size difference. “If you’re my good girl, it’ll go down,” he replied. He could see the look of concern on your face. He knew what he was doing. He wanted you back but not before he punished you for leaving him. No one gets to treat Joe Burrow that way.

“How about we start with just my fingers? Would that be okay?” he asked. Joe loved you and even though he loves to act hard, he didn’t really want to hurt you. He just wanted to push your limits a bit and make you think about what you had done. “Yeah we can do that,” you hesitantly replied. “Before we do this, you know how much I love you right?” he asked tucking your hair behind your ears, your legs still on either side of this body, your breasts still dangerously close to his face. “I know, Joe,” you responded. “Good. You know how much I respect you right?” he asked. You nodded. “Good. So before we get started I need you to promise me that you won’t let me cross any boundaries that you have okay? Don’t let me hurt you. If it gets to be too much or you’re too uncomfortable you have to let me know. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to have a little fun,” he explained.

“Okay I’ll let you know,” you said, your responses to his questions becoming shorter the more nervous you were feeling. “If it gets to be too much just flick me twice and I’ll stop whatever I’m doing right then and there okay? Promise me you won’t be scared to tap out,” he said. “I promise, Joe,” you replied.

With that, he had you turn around so you were sitting on his lap with your back against his chest, his back still against the headboard of the bed. “Go ahead and rest your head back on my shoulder baby. Just relax,” he instructed and you did as you were told.

“I’m just going to start with two fingers okay? If that’s too much let me know,” he said before giving you a tender loving kiss on the cheek. “Go ahead and open your mouth up for me. Stick out your tongue. Good girl,” he said as you followed his commands. He slowly ran two long fingers down the back of your mouth. You gagged. You hated gagging so your natural reflex was to grab Joe’s hand and pull it out of your mouth.

“You’ve got to let me in there baby. You’re gonna gag. It’s okay. It’s just your body’s natural reaction but you’re safe. I’m not going to let you choke. Do you trust me?” he asked. You trusted him so you nodded your head.

“Open up your mouth for me baby. Just relax. It’s okay if you gag,” he reassured. You did as you were told and Joe slid his two fingers toward the back of your mouth again. You gagged and Joe said “good girl,” before sliding his fingers deeper. You gagged again and Joe said “good girl” again before sliding his fingers in even further. This time your gags were mixed with coughing as your body tried to expel him. To your body, his fingers weren’t where they were supposed to be. Joe’s dick was getting harder with every sign of your discomfort. He held his fingers right where they were as you continued to cough and gag. “That’s it baby. I know baby. That’s pretty intense huh. Atta girl. Atta girl,” he praised you as you started to writhe in his lap, his fingers still pressing on a horrible spot in your throat. Finally you grabbed his hand again, pulling his fingers out of your mouth. He responded by giving you another kiss on the cheek. “Good job baby. Are you alright?” he checked in. You nodded but were feeling worried. How were you supposed to do this with something as big as Joe’s penis? You just knew that he was going to break you.

“Are you okay to keep going?” he asked. You said yes even though you were scared of what was to come. “That’s my good girl. Now we’re going to do what we just did but I’m going to push my cock down instead of my fingers. Is that okay?” he asked, making sure he had your consent. You said yes and his face lit up. He was so excited to get to use your throat. Partially because he’d always fantasized about you deepthroating him and partially because he knew you wouldn’t enjoy it. “Alright so I’m going to give you a little bit of control and let you pick the position since you’re being so good. Do you want to sit on your knees against the wall over there or do you want to lay on your back on the edge of the bed?” he offered. You had never tried to deepthroat before so you really didn’t know what to decide. You chose to play it safe and stick to the position that you give blows in. “I’ll get on my knees for you daddy,” you replied before kneeling down on the floor with your back to the wall. “Daddy? You’re really trying to get back on my good side huh,” he laughed. He loved to be called daddy back when you two were together.

“I’m going to put my hand back here behind your head to give you some support okay? You’re gonna have to open up as big as you can for me baby. Stick your tongue out. Just relax. Good girl,” Joe said as he placed one hand on the back of your head and used the other hand to guide his penis into your mouth. He went devastatingly slow, wanting you to feel the anticipation of how deep he was getting. Around four inches in, you started to gag. “Atta girl,” Joe praised continuing to push deeper until he hit a point where he couldn’t push down anymore. Your throat was too tight and your body wouldn’t let him down any further. Your body really wasn’t happy and you were gagging pretty badly. Instead of removing his penis from your mouth, he watched you gag and choke from above, loving the sound. You placed your hands on his thighs and pushed away from him but you were against a wall so there was really nowhere to escape. “That’s not the safeword baby,” Joe responded with a devious smirk on his face. He tried again to push deeper but your body wouldn’t let him and you couldn’t breathe. You continued to gag and choke. You felt scared so you started hitting his thighs. He only laughed. “Do you remember the safeword angel?” he asked starting to get only a little bit concerned.

He loved being in control like this. He wanted to push your limits and that’s exactly what he was doing. He looked down at you gagging and choking with tears streaming down your face and snot running from your nose. What a mess you were for him. What a mess you were for him and only for him. He pulled out a little but still kept his penis in your mouth, giving you a bit of a break but still causing you to gag. “Look at me baby. Do you remember the safeword?” he asked again. You looked up at him and made eye contact and shook your head no. He immediately pulled out and you gasped for air, heaving.

“My good girl never did have a good memory huh,” he joked still standing over you as you sat on the floor on your hands and knees, eyes watering and breathing heavily. He knelt down in front of you and tried to make eye contact with you, but you couldn’t stop looking at the ground. “Are you okay?” he asked. You didn’t respond. You just felt shitty. You wanted so badly to be Joe’s girl again but at what cost. You knew him so you knew that he wanted to get back at you for leaving him but this was a lot. This was really ínstense. When you didn’t respond, he quickly embraced you, pulling you tightly to his chest as you started to cry. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay my girl. It’s okay. You did so good for me baby. You did so good,” he praised you, holding you tightly and stroking his fingers through your hair. “Just breathe. Just breathe. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Good girl,” he calmed you. This was the Joe you were in love with. The Joe who was a safe place for you. The Joe who was always there to comfort you.

“Did I push you too far?” he asked. “Joe, I can’t do what you want me to do. It won’t go down,” you sniffled as he wiped the tears from your eyes. “It’ll go down baby. You just have to be a good girl and open up your pretty throat for me okay? You just have to relax and let me down there,” he reassured. “When you’ve caught your breath we can try again but you have to be a good girl for it to go down,” he stated. You wanted nothing more than to please him. You wanted nothing more than to be Joey’s good girl again. So you wiped your tears, got back on your knees, and said “I’m ready. Let’s try again.”

“That’s my girl. Sit up tall and proud for me baby. You have a beautiful chest. You should be so proud of it,” he instructed. You straightened your back and looked up at him. “There’s my girl. You should always be so proud of how sexy you are,” he complimented causing you to smile softly. It is pretty cool that the actual sexiest man on earth thinks that you’re sexy too. “Alright open your mouth, stick out your tongue, relax your throat. We’re gonna get it down this time but you’ve got to work with me,” he said before you did as you were told. He slid his cock into your mouth very slowly, paying close attention to your body language. He didn’t want to upset you. He only wanted to push you to a place that only he could push. It was an ego thing. Again, around four inches in you started to gag and you placed your hands on his thighs again, pushing hard. “Remember the safeword is flicking my leg two times baby. What you’re doing isn’t the safeword so I’m going to keep going,” he said, pushing down again on the spot that he couldn’t get past the first time. “Open your throat up baby. You have to let me down there if you want to me by girl,” he reminded as he attempted to push down your throat again.

You just couldn’t relax. And you didn’t understand how to “open your throat up.” All you could do was continue to push hard on his thighs and choke as he continued to push against the spot that was giving him trouble again and again and again. He had no remorse. He was getting off on the way you were struggling with him in your throat. His dick was so big that you physically couldn’t take it all. He was causing your body so much stress. And he loved every second of it. He continued to fuck your throat harder as you pushed against him with all of your strength. “Stop fighting with me. You’re only making it worse for yourself,” he said as he fucked your throat harder and faster. You continued to gag and started to feel your dinner coming up. You looked up at him in distress and moaned “mmm” with your hand on your stomach, trying to communicate that you were going to be sick. “Is that upsetting your stomach baby?” he asked smirking down at you. You looked up at him and nodded in between strokes and gags. “It’s okay baby. That’s just your body’s reaction,” he replied unconcerned. You couldn’t breathe again and started to cry. He was going to make you throw up wasn’t he. He wanted to punish you that badly. When he saw you start to cry and shake below him he pulled out. “Joe, I’m gonna be sick,” you exclaimed getting up to go to the bathroom.

“No (y/n). Get back on your knees. You’re not going to throw up,” he stated. “Yes I am, Joe,” you replied looking at him with concern. “My good girl isn’t going to throw up right now. She’s going to get back on her knees and we’re going to try this one last time. We’re going to try to get it to go down and if it doesn’t go then I’ll just have to take your sexy ass. How’s that sound?” he asked. He knew that you hated anal even more than you hated blowjobs. You felt trapped. You didn’t want him in your throat again and you didn’t want to leave his hotel room single. You just wanted Joe. You didn’t want what he wanted to do to you. You started to break down. You got on the floor on your knees again and cried. This was just too intense.

“I can’t do it, Joe. It won’t go down. I don’t know how to open up for you. I’m trying so hard,” you cried on the floor as he kneeled down to hold you to his chest again. “I know that you can do it baby. I believe in you. You’ve just got to relax,” he said. “We’re only going to try one last time okay? You know the safeword. Don’t be scared to use it if you need to,” he reminded you.

Again, you wiped your tears and kneeled down in front of Joe in all of his height and glory. He was so beautiful. You opened your mouth up for him and Joe entered you yet again, reaching the spot that he couldn’t get past causing you to gag. “Just relax baby. Just relax. Open up big for me. Big. Big. Big. As big as you can. There you go. There you go. That’s my good girl. That’s my good girl. A little more to go. A little more to go. You’ve got to take this last inch. You’re almost done baby. You’re almost done. That’s my girl. That’s my girl. That’s my good girl. Just stay there baby. Hold it down right there,” he talked you through as he was finally able to push himself all the way down your throat, your lips against his pelvis and balls. He watched you from above as you gagged and choked and cried the whole way down, pushing against him with your hands on his thighs yet again. He made you hold that position, his cock all the way down your throat for what felt like an eternity as you continued to choke and try to cough him up. He loved watching you struggle and writhe below him. He loved that he had the power to do that to your body. Only he had the power to do that to your body.

You placed a hand on your stomach and looked up at him your eyes pleading for him to release you as you could feel the vomit coming up. “Throw up all over my cock baby. I’m all yours and you’re all mine,” he instructed as he gently pumped his cock in and out of the deepest part of your throat. You hated every second of it. It was the worst feeling you had ever felt. Your body hated him being that deep in you. Your body wanted nothing more than to get him out. And it was so hard to fight your body’s natural responses to what he was doing. You had no choice but to vomit on him while he held his cock at the deepest part of your throat. “That’s a good girl. Make a mess on me baby. Good. Go ahead and empty your stomach on me baby. Good girl. Get it all out. You have me baby. You would do anything for me huh. I love you,” he said as you emptied your dinner all over his cock and the floor. You felt embarrassed and ashamed. He wanted to punish you and he had done it. You flicked his thigh twice and he immediately pulled out, knelt down in front of you and gave you sweet kisses all over your head. “I knew you could do it baby. I don’t ever want to hear you say you can’t do something again. You did so good for me. Your throat was good to me. So warm and tight. That’s my good girl,” he spoke, trying to comfort you. You had done it. You had won Joey back. You were his girl again… so you thought.

“Now you just have to do that one more time with no hands. Don’t touch me. Keep your hands off of me and just fully submit to me okay? And then we’ll be all done,” Joe explained. You wanted to cry again. You already did what he wanted and now he wanted more. He had already made a mess of you and he wanted to do it again. But you wanted nothing more than to be his girl so you replied, “Joe do you promise this is the last one that I have to do?” “Yes, baby if you do this one really well with no hands then we’ll be all done,” he reassured. “Okay Joe. I love you,” you said before kneeling in front of him yet again and opening up your mouth.

“You’ve got to open up as wide as you can baby. Good girl. Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax. Take it down. Take it down. All the way. More. More. More. A little bit more. Let me push the rest down baby, you’re so close to being done. Relax. Be a good girl for me. You’re so close baby. Almost done. Almost done. Good girl. Atta girl. I knew you could do it. Stay right there. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. We’re gonna hold it down there until I feel like you’ve learned your lesson,” he narrated. He pushed down with even less ease this time as your body was so tense at this point in the night. Once he got to that troublesome spot he had to push hard and of course it triggered your gag reflex again. It was so uncomfortable and your body tried to cough him up but there was no use. He fought against you and pushed himself all the way down again despite you clearly suffering below him. You just wanted to be finished so you didn’t fight him. You focused really hard on holding your hands behind your back and submitting to whatever he wanted to do to your body. You coughed and choked and gagged but you didn’t touch him and at that point you had earned him back. You proved to him that you would do anything for him and he could have any and every part of you that he wanted. You were Joey’s good girl.

You sat there with your lips on his pelvis and his cock stretching your throat out for what felt like forever. You became desperate for him to pull out but you didn’t want him to ask you to do this again. You wanted to fully satisfy him this time. “That’s my good girl you’re taking that Iike a champ. My strong girl. Keep holding it. Keep holding it. Keep holding it. Keep holding it,” he spoke, loving the sound of you choking. You began to cry and shake still holding your hands behind your back. “I’m gonna count down from ten okay and then I’ll pull out. 10…9…8…,” you started to hit his thighs, trying to tap out but forgetting your safe word again. He was counting so incredibly slowly. “7…6…,” he started to pump in and out of the deepest part of your throat again, making sure to enjoy the last of what he was getting you to do. “5…4… don’t touch me or we’ll have to start over” he reminded causing you to stop hitting him and to hold your hands behind your back again as you choked. “3…2…,” he began to face fuck you hard. You let out a soft scream (since you had a cock down your throat there wasn’t much else you could do to cope with the stress that Joey was putting your body through). He spent about a minute face fucking you until he was satisfied and felt like you had learned that no one breaks up with Joe Burrow. “1,” he ended the countdown and pulled out.

He picked you up and placed you on the bed before grabbing a towel from the bathroom to clean you up with. He gently wiped away all of the fluids that had come out of you (the tears, the snot, the saliva, the vomit) and gave you sweet kisses all over your body before climbing into bed to cuddle with you. “That’s my good girl. I love you so much. I didn’t push too far did I?” he asked. “No, Joey. I would do anything for you,” you replied. “A few paparazzi pictures and hate comments on instagram are gonna be a breeze now huh?” he chucked. You laughed as well. “I would do anything for you Joey,” you replied, smiling. “That’s my girl. I’m so proud that you’re my girl,” he said giving you soft kisses on the cheek and gently rubbing your stomach. “So will you put me back on your instagram?” you giggled. “Hell no,” he laughed.

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[mysteriouswolf]

TW: sh, panic attacks, suicide mentions [VENT POST]

I hate school.

It's so fucked up. All of it is so fucked up I swear I can't take it anymore.

I'm supposed to go to college. I'm supposed to get a degree in English, become and author, be super successful and live in a cottage for the rest of my life.

But I can't go to the college I want if I don't graduate high school, and I can't fucking do this shit anymore

I don't wanna pick what my future is going to be like at the age I am. I can't do so many more years of this. I can't, I can't.

Not to mention my school took away literally everything I relied on last year for my mental health, and even then I had anxiety attacks on the regular.

Now it's panic attacks. Every day. Every fucking day. I'm so fucking tired. I don't wanna be here anymore.

And my dad, and my counselor, they want to help, but they don't get it, not really. They don't understand what I need to be homeschooled or something. They don't get that I can't do it anymore.

It doesn't help that most of my anxiety is repressed, my panic attacks aren't me screaming and crying and breaking down, they don't look bad and people don't think they're bad. They think I'm exaggerating. But it's so bad, and when it gets bad I legitimately want to hurt myself. I've been clean for six months. I don't want to go back there, but I am, I am, and I don't know how to stop it.

Thank fucking god for my friends. I'm not going to tag them because I don't want them to read all of this and get really stressed out about my problems because I feel like a burden already and they all have their own shit and I'm in a better position at home than they are anyways. But they know who they are (royal, geo, char). You guys are the biggest reason I'm still here. And I'm still trying. I love you guys so fucking much. You all are incredible humans, and I'm sorry you're going through stuff too. It fucking sucks.

Uhm. If anyone has anything that makes school more bearable for them, or has something that allows them to be homeschooled and get into a decently good college or something, even if it's a lot of work, I'll do it. My grades are in the 90s even now, I get my shit done at home. Usually. I'm smart enough that I can do that and be okay. I just. I don't know anymore. My dad and my counselor don't want to make things "too easy" on me but they also don't want me to be stressed, but they think homeschooling is a horrible idea. I don't know why. It hurts. Everything hurts.

Might delete this post later. Idk. Also shout-out to minecraft, literally the only thing keeping me sane besides my friends.

[christianshark]

(If the person, who shall remain anonymous, that is mentioned in this post sees this, do not read this if you do not want to. This is not a message I intend to bring to your attention because you do not want to see it. This is not me breaking our agreement. I will not message you until November & when I do it will be strictly asking to start a new art commission. Nothing I say here will be mentioned ever again. I am putting this out not to gain sympathy but to just get it out of my head.) I joined a few weeks ago because someone I had been friends with for 4 years is a regular here. Me & her had a falling out. I said some stupid, selfish shit & didn't catch myself because of all the stress of that week. She got justifiably mad & wanted to be left alone for a while. That's all she wanted. That one thing. The one thing I wanted was to know if we would try to talk & be friends when that silence eventually broke. Long story short, neither of us got that. I was freaking out too much to stay quiet despite wanting to & she was too angry with me & busy to give me the comfort I asked for. Words were misunderstood. Me caring for her was misinterpreted as treating her like an object. Like a delicate flower. Like this was only some attempt to "win the girl." That was never the intent. We were toxic to each other. We both had a hand in the destruction of our friendship. But the majority of it was me. I failed to deal with the mental health issues that caused these problems. Some I thought I did, but really I was just distracting myself from them with the good times. Burying them. But they regrew like weeds again & again & again. The boundary breaking, the weird questions, the suicidal spirals that made her afraid to point out my problems.... I will fix myself so that this doesn't happen with anyone else ever again. But that will take months, years, or even decades. These types of problems do not go away overnight no matter how much I want them to. What kills me the most is knowing my worst fear is true. That the impostor syndrome I've been struggling with was actually right for once. She says she doesn't care anymore. Although some stuff she has done since contradicts that, that is what she has told me straight up. ..... I'll be honest when I first joined here it was to try & talk to her after she blocked me on the two other platforms we were friends on. But I realized how creepy that would've been & how it would've gone against her wishes & I didn't. But instead I interacted with a bunch of her stuff thinking it would be a way to support her while respecting her wishes. I was an idiot for thinking this because notifications exist. And my name now brings her nothing but pain. Despite her struggles with empathy & holding grudges, she's the nicest girl I've ever met. And she still is.... Until... She sees... My name... And then she becomes cold & unforgiving from all that happened. I think it's going too far. That surely she sees I never intended to hurt her. That I care about her. That I am genuinely sorry for everything. But that doesn't matter. She's justified in acting unfair to me. Because regardless of me not intending to hurt her, I did. ....... She called our friendship poison. To both of us. And a part of me knew it was a year into our friendship. Although I never told her.

It felt unfair that my problems would leave our friendship on a knife's edge while hers I was expected to ignore because they were "part of who I am."

I said to myself years ago "this feels toxic" But I happily swallowed that poison. Because I cared about her. Still do. Part of it was romantic affection at one point, but she never wanted anything to do with that so I tried my best to squash that down. No I always cared about our friendship more than I did it becoming something more. Because you should never go into a friendship with someone purely just to get with them romantically. That is scummy. And I'm not about that. I went into that friendship wanting to JUST be friends to start so that way even if it didn't go any further, I would have a friend for life out of it. So even if some small part of me hoped for something more, I didn't want it. Because she didn't. She saved my life in my darkest time just by being my friend. I met her in 2020 at a time where the loneliness of COVID & my failures in college were taking it's toll on my soul. If I never became friends with her, I would not have survived that year. Hence why I am so close to her even now. I want to fix things. Rebuild the bridge that I set on fire. Even as she continues to throw gasoline on it.

I never cared how much our friendship hurt me. As long as it never hurt her. And the reason I never told her I knew it was toxic.... Was that I would gladly be the most miserable POS on the planet.... If I could make sure she wasn't. ..... Even in all of this, I am thankful. For our mutual friends who have been helping us even as I failed miserably to listen. For my sister for comforting me. For God helping give me the will to live inspite of all this. And for Stardew. Weird segway I know but... she was playing a ton of this both before & during this whole saga. And it makes her happy. Even if sometimes it felt like she was just hiding in that game to avoid talking things out... It makes her happy. Even if it feels hypocritical for her to talk about how much she loves Shane's arc & struggle to heal through his mental issues while being completely cold & unforgiving to mine... It makes her happy. And ultimately that's all I want. Her to be happy. I hope one day we can be friends again. But for now I am fine where I am with her. We are exclusively business right now. I've been failing miserably at staying on topic, but that's the plan. And one I intend to stick to until she's ready to be friends again. And if that day never comes? That's okay. I will cry & weep. Pray to God to open her heart to the idea of us being friends again. But I know at some point I will be okay. And I know she can take care of herself. We don't NEED each other's friendship. But I still want to be friends. So until that day comes, if it ever does.... I am fine simply being business. Giving her resources to do stuff with... people she actually cares about. I may be sad. But she will be happy.

[chaosteddybear]

Things I want to know about my fellow writers!

Thanks for the tag @theemptyislost ☺️

I'm tagging @dmagedgoods @ineadhyn @mslanna @eve-is-random @scuttlingcrab @loveless-nameless-graceless-two (no pressure! And sorry to those who have been tagged already!) and you, dear reader! ❤️

Last book I read: 

The only one I feel comfortable sharing is Beautiful World, Where Are You? by Sally Rooney. I actually only just started it but I am excited! The others are mostly about mental health and such, and even the last smutty novel was very dark so this'll be a breath of fresh air I expect 😅

Greatest literary inspirations: 

I am so inspired by lmm that it's embarrassing. More at my core though, would be books from my childhood. They might have formed a little more about who I am than anything else. So for example Lemony Snicket is my heart, and those books meant so much to me that I am pretty sure they're the subconscious reason I love dashes so much, for example. Also the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark series... I am still obsessed with the way they set a mood, the way they have a goal but never a conclusion, the creepiness and how they toy with various different ways to be terrifying.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write:

Pretty much anything Raphael (bg3)! I am so insecure about my ability to write Raphael...

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: 

More OC stuff. I find it easy to write "you" or canon characters if they're ones I know well and feel comfortable writing, it just flows. But I'm not inspired to write that stuff anymore even a little bit. I want to do OC stuff, but it's so scary. Writing plot? *shivers*. I don't know how to turn it into anything, it's all just chaos in my head, and my wrists hurt even thinking of trying to untangle it.

You can recognize my writing by:

Feral tone. Probably no plot other than using kink and power dynamics to communicate. I'm sorry, and also not sorry, it is what it is 😭

My most controversial take (current fandom):

Sometimes I like to think that Haarlep leads a cushy life and makes Raphael happy! I like to imagine Raphael keeps them safe and happy and clean too 😌 just two cozy lovers 😌

My top three favorite tropes: 

1. Regular person does something extraordinary, 2. Hero can't accept that they're a hero, 3. Misunderstandings, especially if it's two people who love each other but can't see that the other feels the same.

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): 

Honestly, a 2. I'd say 0 but at least I have WIPs I keep running through in my head, I just can't write them down, and I'm still RPing.

Share a random frustration:

I just hate when my ideas are too complicated to write down 😭😭 usually my brain is very stream of consciousness and I can just write it as it flows, but when I'm thinking in multiple directions, it all breaks and I can't get anything down at all.

[elvenxwarrior]

Comfort - Leviathan

Masterlist

You can also find this posted on my AO3!

Levi was walking towards your room when he noticed you dash into your room, obviously crying. His heart sank and he ran up to your door, trying to open it.

"(Y/N)? Are you ok? Let me in, please!" You don't reply but he can hear you sobbing through the door. He rests his back against the door and slides down to the floor.

"We can talk like this if it makes you more comfortable. Or you can text me. I'm here."

—— Above by MysticLucy ——

Leviachan [Name], I'm worried about you. Seen at 11:36pm Please say something. Or text me something. I've never seen you like this. Seen at 11:36pm [Name] Hey... x Seen at 11:37pm Sorry for worrying you... x Seen at 11:37pm Are you still by the door? x Seen at 11:37pm Leviachan Yes... x Seen at 11:38pm

From the other side of the door, Leviathan heard a sigh and the sound of something gently hitting the door. The Envious Demon and the Human were now sat back-to-back, the only thing separating them being the locked door.

"Hey." Came your monotonous yet high-pitch voice, still ripe with sadness.

"Hey." He replied, full of sympathy, "So... I'm not sure what to do, you know... social awkwardness and all..."

"It's okay..." You sniffled, wiping your nose with a tissue.

"But I do know I want to help... Do you... want to talk about it?"

There was a pause, then another sigh, "Sure..."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, [Name]..."

"I actually do want to talk about it, Levi." On your side, you had your favourite stuffed animal hugged to your chest with your knees.

On his side, Leviathan had shuffled around and was now sideways with his back against one side of the doorframe and his feet on the other, "Alright..."

"Now, don't feel bad about not knowing what to do, okay?" You briefly paused, wiping your nose again, "I don't need you to say or do anything, I'd just like you to listen..."

Leviathan's heart was breaking. He could hear that you were trying not to cry in order to speak clearly, "Okay. Take your time..."

He listened for the full (what felt like and probably was) half an hour to forty-five minutes of you talking.

About how after finishing human school and going into RAD, you were scared you wouldn't do well in classes.

About how you miss your family and Human Realm friends but you don't want to leave the Devildom.

The time restriction of a year in the Devildom put somewhat of a restraint on you -

"I have this pressure to finish all my tasks, have a good time, make friends, all that shit, all over again- but what will come of it when I go home? Do I get a certificate for completing RAD for memories? Do I leave with Devil Qualifications? I can't take my D.D.D. with me back to the Human Realm, I can't-"

Leviathan tried to slip his fingers under the door when he heard your panicked breathing; when that failed, he calmly spoke, "[Name], open the door, please."

Surprised that you did as he asked, the door clicked and opened. You immediately fell into his arms in violent sobs of, "I just can't!"

He held you close, on the floor of the hallway, arms tightly around you. "It's okay... it's okay..."

After some time, you had calmed down; your breathing was regular and you were no longer crying.

"Thank you, Leviathan..."

He placed your stuffed animal, that had been carelessly dropped to the floor, in your arms, "It's alright, [Name]. You seem a lot better now."

You stayed cuddled like that for another two minutes before Leviathan made a very wise suggestion:

"I think you should take a few days off, mental health days y'know? You can come spend it in my room with me and my games if you want or... I'm sure Satan would let you in his room to read?"

You nodded, muttering more "thank you"s to the blue haired demon as he helped you up and accompanied you in your room for more comfort.

[monocaelia]

comforting you after a nightmare headcanons

nightmares aren't fun, but luckily you have someone there to protect you.

feat. albedo, diluc, childe, kaeya, xiao, zhongli

genre : hurt/comfort, fluff

note : hbd to me!! here's a gift from me to you with one of my favorite tropes, hehe <:

❀ albedo

albedo isn't one to dream much, let alone rest. he's always caught up in his own research and experiments that sleep isn't really needed if he wanted to be more productive in his research, despite the worried comments from sucrose and your lighthearted nags that he'll stay short forever.

though, that isn't to say that he's not interested. there are many times that albedo has caught you dozing off in his laboratory while waiting for him to be done with his experiments. he would be lying to himself if he didn't wonder what could possibly be playing in your mind to make you be smiling like that while unconscious.

this time, though, is an exception.

test tubes and flasks filled with various liquids and concoctions fill albedo's workspace as he examines each and every one before filling in his notebooks with descriptions and drawings of his work. there's a shuffle from his other desk and his eyes shift up to glance at you. albedo's gaze softens at the sight of his coat draped over your shoulders as they move to the rhythm of your breathing.

he wonders why you choose to stay at his laboratory so late and wait for him to finish his research rather than head home alone and sleep in your much more comfortable bed. albedo supposes you find comfort in his presence, an odd thing to be comforted by really.

however, the gentle smile quickly falls from his face the moment he hears the quiet whimpers and pleas. as quickly as he could, albedo moves to your side and gently shakes you awake. he isn't the least surprised when your eyes snap open and a gasp leaves your lips.

"...are you alright?" the question breaks you from your daze and you seem to relax when you realize you aren't dreaming anymore. though, the way your hands and shoulders shake doesn't escape the sharp eyes observing you.

"come on, i think i'm done with my research for now. we can head home if you'd like?" albedo smiles when you nod your head, but as he turns to pack up and prepare to leave his laboratory your hand shoots out to grasp his own.

albedo is surprised at first, but the shock melts into endearment as his hand pulls yours up to his lips. he presses a gentle kiss on your knuckles, reassuring you that he'll be right there for you. that you wouldn't be alone.

"nightmares, huh? ...i wonder if i can concoct something to help eradicate the chances of them appearing. oh, don't worry, i won't leave your side for the rest of the evening. promise."

❀ diluc

diluc isn't prone to nightmares, honestly he probably gets them quite often. or maybe even dreamless dreams if he's lucky. well, considering he sleeps at all. he's busy being the darknight hero of mondstatdt in the dead of night, so sleep doesn't come by often for the red haired vigilante.

even when he does get nightmares, there's not many people he can call to or rely on to help comfort him. he doesn't trust any of the knights, and he definitely doesn't trust kaeya to help at all. so comforting someone isn't something he knows how to do well.

but he tries his best to comfort you in any way, shape, or form if you ever needed him to.

the knocking against his door is quiet, nearly nonexistent if diluc was preoccupied with anything other than trying to sleep. he would have ignored it if it weren't for the quiet whisper of his name from a voice he recognized. sighing, he rises from his bed and heads over to his door, mentally preparing himself for whatever you're planning to throw over his head.

instead, diluc is met with your cheeky smile. you're definitely up to no good, but he hasn't quite figured out what you were going to do or say. before he could even question why you're standing outside his door in the dead of night, you interrupt him.

"wow diluc! fancy seeing you here, do you come here often?" he deadpans at you and nearly closes the door to go back to sleep. but he notices the way your fingers twiddle, a sign that you're nervous about something. his eyes flicker to your face, scanning anything that would give him clues on what's on your mind.

"what happened?" diluc's brows furrow in worry seeing the way your smile falls and the way your body begins to curl in on itself. he offers a hand for you to take, an invitation for you to be comforted by the stoic man in front of you. he lets a small smile grow on his lips when he sees you brighten up a tad at his invitation.

your hand is encased in his own, scarred and rough with callouses but comforting and warm at the same time.

"go back to sleep, it's already getting really late. if you need anything, though, i'll be right here until the dawn rises."

❀ childe

although sleep is necessary to maintain perfect health, childe finds it difficult to maintain a proper sleeping schedule due to his job as a fatui harbinger. when the tsaritsa calls, he needs to be there immediately to come to her aid and carry out her orders regardless of how inconvenient it was for him.

but, having many siblings, especially younger ones, has always prepared childe to comfort and protect anyone that he holds close to his heart. nobody, not even nightmares, can get close enough to harm the people he loves, not if he's alive to knock them down a peg.

which definitely includes you, someone who holds his entire world in the palm of your hands.

childe finds you awake at the dead of night after one of his shifts at the northland bank. which is surprising considering you're always asleep before he gets back home from work, always trying to stay up to welcome the harbinger home but always succumbing to the sweet embrace of slumber.

a mischievous grin grows on his lips as he plans to spook you, but as he nears your body, the shaking of your body and quiet sniffles reach his ears. immediately, childe's hand is on your shoulder and he frowns when you yelp and whip around to see him.

"o-oh, ajax, i didn't expect to see you home so soon. i was just getting ready for bed." a white lie. childe presses his lips into a thin line, his hand reaching out to catch a tear falling from your cheek. did...did he do this to you? was he being a bad partner for not putting aside more time for you?

as if reading his mind, you vehemently shake your head and grab onto childe's wrist. "no! no... it's not what you think i just had a really bad dream and couldn't go back to sleep. don't worry, you don't need to beat yourself up over this." he relaxes immediately at your comment, but he still feels bad for leaving you alone when you needed someone to comfort you.

childe leans over, cupping your face in his hands as he showers your face in featherlight kisses. your giggles fill the room and the habinger can't help but laugh as well, especially after pressing a wet, sloppy kiss on your lips. "how about i cook you a nice stew for tonight? it always helped teucer calm down when he was scared."

and you take him up on that offer. the rest of the evening is filled with light laughter from the both of you as childe moves around the kitchen and tells you stories of his childhood. the scene is comforting, peaceful, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

"how about we turn in for tonight? don't worry, nothing will harm you as long as your big, strong ajax is by your side!"

❀ kaeya

despite his title of being a "lazy" and "laid-back" captain of the calvary, kaeya isn't one to sleep too much. he has a regular sleeping schedule, though there are some nights where the memories of his past haunt him and he stays up reminiscing about how things were.

he's one to brood alone, not letting anyone see him vulnerable. but he likes to be relied on. there isn't a bone in his body that prevents him from helping anyone in need, even though the way he gets things done is quite... unconventional to everybody else's standards.

but when you call to him for help, he’s there in an instant.

the sound of rustling from beside kaeya stirs him from his slumber. he squints, his good eye focusing in the darkness of his room before landing on your curled up figure beside him. he figures you’re just shifting in your sleep and closes his eyes again, but you shift again and sigh. surely, you’re not sleeping at this point.

kaeya gently calls out your name, a warm smile on his face when he sees you startle from his voice. though, his smile melts away from his face when he sees your expression. it doesn’t help that you flinch slightly when his hand reaches over to brush against your cheek.

“sorry, i just…i’m still shaken from my dream and-“ your apologies are cut short when kaeya sends you a comforting smile and cups your jaw in his hand. he assures you that it’s fine.

“are you okay? how long have you been up?” it takes you a moment too long to come up with a lie that would put your lover at ease. when you come up with an answer, kaeya is already staring at you with his mismatched orbs, one of deep sapphire and the other a light, milky blue color. you can’t lie to him now.

so you tell the calvary captain about the dream you just had, not going too into details with what really shook you. and kaeya listens to everything you say, a hand firmly on your arm to remind him that you’re with him and not whatever occurred in your dreams.

he makes little comments here and there to lighten the mood, though he knows when to keep quiet so you can talk it through. when you finish talking the dream through, kaeya pinches your cheek, chiding you for dreaming of such things.

but he reassures you that you’re fine, and that he’s here to protect you should anything from your dreams come into reality. he jokes about letting you handle everything alone, but you know he wouldn’t despite how cheeky he is.

"don't let the bedbugs bite, [name]. haha, kidding. i'll be here to fight them off if you need me. i am a captain after all."

❀ xiao

xiao isn't unfamiliar with nightmares and dreams. don't forget, one of his duties under the reign of the yaksha's previous master was to devour the dreams of the innocent. it had gotten to the point where dreams were the only things he could stomach, despite detesting the intent behind it.

despite it all, though, xiao is still an adeptus who protects the mortals and the innocent of liyue. his sole job now, under his contract with rex lapis, is to protect even if it means throwing his life away. with a swift call of his name, he would be there to be the guardian of liyue and anyone residing in it.

and that includes you, the sole mortal that the young adeptus enjoys the company of.

a gasp tears through your throat as you sit up in your bed, sweat dripping down the side of your face. your eyes are blown wide open with the visions of your nightmare still clear in your mind. the rapid beating of your heart and panting are the only sounds heard in your otherwise quiet bedroom.

curses spill from your lips as you cradle your head in your hands, your knees pulled up to your chest to try and make yourself as small as you possibly could. but to no avail, no matter what you did to comfort yourself or make yourself forget the nightmare, the visions still flashed in your memories every time you closed your eyes.

you don't hear the rustling from your window, nor did you feel the presence of someone crouching from behind your curtains. it's only when he gently calls your name do you whip your head around, eyes coming face to face with golden eyes that gleam in the moonlight.

"xiao... sorry i didn't see you there," you stutter, quickly wiping your eyes and turning away so the young adeptus wouldn't see you crying. his eyes narrow at you, eyebrows furrowing as a frown settles on his face. "what are you-"

your hands are pulled away from your face and you're pulled closer to him. "you're crying." you try to deny xiao's observation and reassure him that you're fine, but a hand gently brushes against your cheek.

xiao doesn't say anything when the tears begin falling down your face again. he doesn't say anything when you jump into his arms and bury your face in his chest. you feel his arms firmly wrap themselves around you. he doesn't say a word, but his actions alone assure you that he would be there with you for the rest of the evening.

"sleep. should any more dreams come to haunt you during your rest, i'll be here to dispose of them."

❀ zhongli

as an archon, zhongli doesn't find much need for sleep. he's a god and no god needs sleep to be energized for the following day. it's not like it would do well for him anyways, seeing as he would much rather prefer strolling the lit up streets of liyue harbor in the late evening before returning to his home to drink tea and relax.

that's not to say he isn't familiar with dreams and how they can affect mortals. he knows full well the impact they can have, especially if they're dreams filled with horrible outcomes or stuff nobody would like to be reminded of.

so when you come to him to seek comfort after a horrible night, he's ready to welcome you into his embrace.

the gentle whisper of zhongli's name alerts him of your presence from the hallway in your shared home. the archon lifts his head to look at you, eyes made of molten gold meeting your shaking gaze. "what's wrong, dear?" you don't answer his question and instead shift your gaze to the ground.

zhongli tells you to "come here" in the gentlest voice he could muster, and you do. as soon as you sit beside your lover, his hand comfortingly holds your jaw and lifts your face so you can see him. there's nothing but endearment and love in his gaze. "you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

he hums in amusement seeing the way your body relaxes after that. there's a gentle tug on your arm, a signal for you to find comfort in zhongli's embrace, and you find yourself snug in between the archon's arms. you inhale deeply, zhongli's comforting scent filling your lungs.

his hands rake gently up and down your spine and hearing his heartbeat from where you rest on his chest calms you immensely. if it weren't for your nervous, rhythmic tapping against his arm, zhongli would have assumed you fell back asleep in his arms.

"would you like to hear about the play i've been attending to recently? the plot is quite interesting, i think you would enjoy it." he attempts to distract you for a while to calm your nerves after waking so abruptly, and it works, not to his surprise.

as he drones on and on about the plot that doesn't quite make sense to you in your dazed state, the archon notices the way your fingers have stilled and your breathing has evened out, much calmer and more regulated than before. zhongli smiles, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"it's starting to get late. you should try to rest again. don't worry, i'll be beside you should anything happen to you once more."

[darkmulti]

Hello I love your work so much, you are my fav writer I love your style and the way you paint your ideas! <3

I know you must have a lot of requests but could you please do a hard dom CEO jungkook, with innocent reader. Would be nice if you can add corruption kink, degrading and non con. Thank you!

⚠️: NON CON, DEGRADATION, CORRUPTION KINK, INNOCENT!READER, VIRGIN!READER, slapping, choking

-> I’m glad you like my work!! Sorry for the wait tho😭

-> I didn’t “add” too much corruption kink because it’s kinda hard to incorporate corruption kink and non con

-> sorry for any mistakes

“Y/N! In my office now!”

The moment you sat down on your chair, your boss called you again

You quickly stood up and hustled into his office

“Yes, Mr. Jeon. Is something wrong?”

You politely asked

“What the hell did you put in my coffee?”

“Regular, sir. Two milks and one sugar.”

“Did you check the expiration date on the milk?”

“Uh… no”

“God damnit! Are you trying to poison me, Y/N?! You can’t do the simplest tasks right! Get out of my sight.”

“Sir, I can make you another-”

“I said get out!”

You immediately left his office and sped off into your own

You closed the door gently before covering your mouth and bursting out into tears

The constant yelling and degrading was slowly breaking you down

He never appreciated any of your hard work, instead he focused on the small flaws you made

You knew you deserved better so that night you went home and wrote a resignation letter

The next day you went to work and gave it to Mr. Jeon

“Mr. Jeon, this is my resignation letter. I can’t work here anymore. It’s not good for my mental health.”

He poked his inner cheek with his tongue and crumbled the letter

“You have to give me a two weeks notice. That way I can start looking for your replacement. However, I have a business trip next week and you have to come with me.”

“What if I find someone that can take my place?”

“No, I want you to go with me and that’s final.”

Next week

You were at the airport with your carry on bag in hand and your passport in the other

Jungkook was in front of you, leading the way to the private jet

Once you both were seated, he poured himself and you a drink

“So, tell me why you want to quit.” He said, taking a sip of his Blue Label whiskey

You didn’t want to tell him the real reason, which was because of him

You thought it’d make the trip more awkward if he knew that you were quitting because of him and you also didn’t want to sound mean

So the best excuse you could come up with was that you found a more suitable job

You told him lies after lies, thinking that he was believing you

Little did you know, Jungkook could see right through you

He knew the real reason you were quitting was because of him

He was purposely cruel to you and you’ve finally reached your breaking point

It was amusing to him

Did you really think that you could trick him?

How cute

Jungkook knew that whole suitable job excuse was a lie because he keeps his eyes on you all day and night

While you were asleep, Jungkook broke into your apartment and installed tiny cameras all around

So he could keep an eye on you

He also hacked into your phone and installed a tracking app, just in case

He got access to all your emails, social media, phone calls, photos, text messages — ect.

Anyways, back to the private jet

You were in the back of the jet sleeping since it was a long flight and you get air sick

You felt something around your waist so you looked down and see a tattooed arm

You immediately recognized who it was and got up, waking up Jungkook in the process

“I- I’m sorry, sir. You should’ve woke me up and I would’ve given you the bed.”

“It’s fine, we’re about to land anyways.”

After you guys landed, you both headed towards the car in the hangar

The driver took you both to a luxury hotel

The building itself was super unique

The transparent, rooftop pool was definitely something you were looking forward to

Jungkook had paid for your hotel room

You guys had rooms right next to each other so it’s more convenient for him

It was still 10 in the morning, so Jungkook allowed you to sleep for a little while but by 12pm, you guys had to leave for an important meeting

The afternoon was packed with meetings, presentations & preparations for a small business party

You were exhausted because Jungkook kept you running back and forth while he was sitting on his ass

By the end of the day you were tired as hell, but luckily everything went smoothly

Jungkook seemed to be okay with how everything turned out

You were relieved to say the least

He’d usually find something to complain about

It was 10pm when you both arrived at the hotel

Jungkook said he was going to go shower and sleep so you bid goodnight and went into your room

Even though you were physically and mentally exhausted, your mind couldn’t fall asleep

You figured it was because of the amount of coffee you consumed

Since you couldn’t fall asleep, you decided to put on your swimming suit and go upstairs to try out the pool

Once the elevator doors opened, you were surprised to see so many people on the rooftop dancing and drinking

You still went to the pool even though it was loud and packed

On your way to the pool, you accidentally bumped into a group of guys

They notice your somewhat revealing swimming suit and offered a drink

You were going to reject but all of them were pressuring you to have at least one drink with them, so you stupidly agree

One drink turned into two and so on

You started dancing with the guys and they were all cheering you on

This was it

This was the attention you were craving for

You were a little wasted but still had your senses

You held one of the boy’s hand and took him to the swimming pool

“You said you were good at swimming… so make sure I don’t drown.” You drunkly said before jumping in

The man chuckled at your behaviour and jumped in afterward to make sure you don’t do anything dumb

After swimming, you had more drinks and danced more with everyone

The night was going so well until someone pulled you away from all the chaos

“Heyyyy, what’re you doing man? The party’s over there.” You said, pointing back to the crowd

He wasn’t responding so you tried to look at his face but the lights were burning your eyes

You looked down at his arm and recognize his tattoos

Once you realized who he was, it was too late

“M- Mr. Jeon, why’re you up so late?”

He brought you back to his room and shoved you in

Jungkook pushed you against the door and slapped you hard

It brought you back to reality real fast

“Are you dumb, Y/N?! Going upstairs without telling me anything, drinking and dancing with men you don’t know— do you know how dangerous that is?! Is your head hollow?!” He yelled in your face and hit the side of your head a couple of times, checking if it was hollow

“Do you know what they would’ve done to you if I didn’t come?! Let me fucking show you.”

He pushed you towards the bed and you slipped because of your wet feet

You started backing away from him, but you knew you were doomed when your back hit the side of the bed

“Mr. Jeon, please. I was just trying to have fun-” another hard slap landed on your cheek and this one was enough to make you tear up

“Fun? You want to have fun? Okay then, let’s have some fun.”

He pulled you up by your wrist and pushed you down on the bed

“Mr. Jeon, please! I’m so sorry! I don’t know how it all happened!”

You were sobbing at this point because Jungkook looked terrifying

He was beyond pissed and his eyes were showing it all

“You think a “sorry” can fix what you did?! You’re so fucking stupid! This is why I yell at you all the time because your dumb, little head knows nothing. Without me, you wouldn’t be living so comfortably. I give you a good pay, so you can pay rent, buy food and clothes without worrying about money. But, what do I get in return? A resignation letter…” he scoffs before continuing “… You’re just a dumb, naive, whore that would be homeless right now if I didn’t take care of you. Maybe this is why your parents abandoned you.”

Your bottom lip started to wobble and before you knew it, you were bawling your eyes out in front of him

His words were so harsh, you weren’t ready for it at all

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

You apologized over and over and over but he still wasn’t satisfied

“H- how can I make it up? Please, give me a chance.”

His hand went towards your private area and you started shaking your head profusely

“No, no, no… anything but that please…”

“Well, there’s nothing else that you have that I want.”

“I’m n- not comfortable though.”

Jungkook grabbed your face and stared deep into your eyes

“Does it look like I care?”

Jungkook continued on

He ripped your swim suit off and pulled down his pants

“Please be gent-”

You screamed when you felt him push into you

You grabbed his arms and tried to push him away but he easily dominated you

He pinned your hands above your head and spat down on his cock for some lube

Without any warning, he pushed his full length in, causing you to squirm around and cry

Your purity blood dripped down onto the bed sheets while you kept pleading for him to stop

“Mr. Jeon, please! I- I was sa- saving till marriage.” You sobbed

“That’s even better. Now we can get married.”

“No! No! I don’t want that.”

Jungkook pushed your legs apart and started going at a fast pace

“You don’t want to get married to me? Well, that’s too bad because I don’t care about what you want.”

Each of his thrust were powerful and rough

He wrapped his hand around your neck so anytime you rejected him in a way, he’d squeeze until you’d shut up

Your face was hot and red from all the slapping and choking

He covered your neck in hickeys

All night, he was fucking you

The headboard was banging against the wall so hard, it left dents in the wall

There was cum overflowing out of you, but Jungkook still didn’t stop

He pounded you until your body gave up on you

You couldn’t fight anymore

You weren’t talking, crying or moving

All you could do was whimper softly when it really hurt

Jungkook noticed you were on the verge of passing out, so he quickened up his pace and came into you before collapsing on top of you

“You would’ve been in so much more pain if I didn’t save you from those guys. So what do you say to me?”

You weakly open your eyes and look into his

“T- Thank you.” You whisper softly before falling unconscious

Decided to end it here bc I don’t have the brain power to continue writing. Sorry for any mistakes. It’s 2am

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Wrecked part 20

Part 19 here

Masterlsit here

Part 20

When I woke up the next morning a sense of dread washed over me. I did not want to go back into the sanctuary and I definitely did not want to stay where his other wives had stayed before. Sarah was packing a bag with different kinds of medicine and other things because she was going to be staying with me, negan insisted. Sarah glanced at m3 from over her shoulder, "how are you feeling today?"

I sighed as I sat up, the pain in my hip made me wince but it was nothing compared to before. "Like shit." Sarah frowned as she made her way to me, she placed her hand on my forehead while checking my pulse. I chuckled, "don't worry I'm perfectly fine health wise. I just dread going back into the sanctuary especially where the other wives lived."

Sarah let out a breath of relief I'm guessing as she visibly relaxed, "you scared me there for a second. It won't be so bad so don't worry."

A frustrated sigh left my lips, "it's easy for you to say." She looked at me and rolled her eyes, "I'm being serious, how would you feel if your husband had multiple wives and he put you where they used to live. Not only that but treated you like the shit he scraped off the bottom of his boots."

"Is that what you think?" Negans deep voice sounded as he made his way inside. He looked at Sarah and jerked his head to the side, she made a quick exit leaving us alone. His eyes turned to me  glaring, obviously mad which he always seemed to be these days. "You think I treat you like shit huh?"

I rolled my eyes and I could feel my cheeks starting to get hot, I didnt know he was outside listening. "Well here lately you sure haven't been treating me like your wife."

"And who's fuckin fault is that?" His eyebrow quirked up as he crossed his arms across his chest.

I sighed, mentally done with this conversation. "I know, okay, I fucked up. How long are you going to keep bringing it up? I told you I was sorry, a dozen times, what else do you want from me?"

I was expecting a smart remark or yelling or something, I wasn't expecting him to sigh and hang his head. "I know you're sorry, but that's not enough." When his eyes met mine I could see the pain there which made me less mad at him. "Dont look at me like that Goddammit."

"Like what?" I whispered, I could feel my walls starting to break again.

"Like that! Like you actually feel fuckin remorseful for what you put me through. Like you're finally feeling my pain, it's not going to work so stop." He pushed away from the counter he was leaning against and made his way to the side of the bed. "Let me help you put your shoes on and I'll take you to where you and Sarah will be staying."

"Youre kidding right?" He looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. "Youre really going to make me stay where your wives used to?"

"What the fuck is wrong with that? That's a very spacious room, plus you'll have people waiting on you hand and fuckin foot. Is that not good enough for you?"

"It's not about the damn room negan! It's about you treating me the way you used to!" My anger had boiled over, i couldnt hold back anymore he just didn't seem to get it. "You know what, forget it. Just give me a regular room, you can have that big spacious room and fill it with as many wives as you want because I am done. Officially done this time. I guess that's one good thing about the apocalypse, you don't have to actually get a divorce, well you actually have to really have a real ceremony to actually be married." I was rambling, straying far from what I was trying to say. "What I'm trying to say is that we are done. Whatever we had is gone and I guess I have to take some blame for that but you play a part in it too."

"I don't want anymore fuckin wives." Negan started but I held up my hand halting him.

"I don't care what you want anymore negan. It's obviously not me anymore, so you do what you want from now on. Just stay away from me, please." He bent down and helped me slip on my shoes, before he stood I quickly wiped a stray tear from my face. I grabbed my crutches from beside the bed, he made a move to help me but I pulled away. "I don't want your help."

He held up his hands in defense and sighed. Sarah walked in, "are we leaving now sir?" He nodded, Sarah grabbed the bags she had prepared and moved to my side and I allowed her to help me.

Negans face twisted in anger at the sight, "so you'll let her help you but not your goddamn husband?"

"I already told you, youre not my husband anymore." I grit my teeth holding back a wince as the pain shot down my leg. Negan growled but didn't say anything more, he held the door open for us as Sarah helped me through.

Sarah looked at the stairs and halted in her tracks. Negan turned and gave her a quizzical look. "Whats the problem now?" His voice booming throughout the sanctuary.

"Sir, it's going to be very difficult for y/n to climb up and down the stairs. Actually it'll probably be impossible for her to make it back down them if we were able to get her up them in the first place."

Instead of getting mad like I thought he would he smiled, walked over towards me and gently picked me up bridal style. I tried to resist but there wasn't much I could do. "You plan on doing this every time I need to come downstairs? I thought you were so busy."

He chuckled and leaned down next to my ear, "nope, at least I know you can't escape right now." So that was his plan, that's the reason he wanted me upstairs. He knew I couldn't walk back down the stairs, at least not right now.

When we made it to the room that I absolutely hated he motioned for Sarah to open the door and she did immediately. "Home sweet home." He said placing me down on one of the couches.

"Maybe to you or your other whores."

"Excuse me sir." Sarah sounded from behind me, he must have addressed her but I wasn't looking at him. "I need to get a few more things from downstairs."

I saw the shadow of his hand waving, dismissing her and she quickly left closing the door behind her. Negan sat beside me on the couch as I took the room in. I hated it, everything in here was just as the other ones left it. I swear I could almost still smell the lingering of their scent here, it made me want to puke.

"So baby..." He started but I cut him off.

"Dont call me that! I have a name and I want you to use it from now on." My eyes snap to his and he has the nerve to smile. "I'm glad you think this is funny."

"It's fuckin hilarious." He started to laugh which made me even more furious.

"You don't get it do you?" His head cocked to the side. "I'm serious when I say it's over. Whatever I felt for you is gone. I keep apologizing for what happened but you know what? I don't apologize, because I didn't do this to myself. I was protecting my then husband because I loved him. That group out there the ones that took me, they're responsible for this not me."

He seemed to think about my words but negan was stubborn and I knew he would still blame me for everything. "Come on now doll, you still love me and you fuckin know it." He slid closer to me on the couch but I scooted away.

"No negan. I'm done with these little games of yours." His hand reached out to touch me put I pulled away, "don't touch me."

He growled and sat back in the couch. "For fucks sake." His words were partly muffled by him running his hand over his face in frustration. "So we are just going to sit here in awkward silence. Is that what you fuckin want?"

"You don't have to sit here period. I don't need a babysitter. I would rather be by myself anyways. So don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya." I got up and wobbled on my crutches a bit but found my footing. Negan was there right behind me willing to catch me if I fell. "I'm good." I stated before hobbling to one of the bedrooms, negan trailing right behind me.

He opened the bedroom door for me, inside was a single dresser and a full size bed. I felt negans hot breath on my neck and the heat from his body as he leaned I close. "Wanna test it out?"

The thought of screwing negan on the bed one of his wives had slept in made me cringe. Even the thought of sleeping in it made my skin crawl because I'm sure he fucked which ever one of wives that used this room in it. I pushed past him walking back into the living room and plopping down on the couch. "I'm not going anywhere near any of those beds, and I'm definitely not getting into any bed with you so you can just stop trying."

"Whats wrong with the beds?" He asked and actually looked like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Seriously negan? Are you really that obtuse?" I asked, he raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "How many of your whores did you fuck in that bed?"

He scoffed, turning his back to me he walked around the room. "Is that what is your fuckin problem is?" I raised my eyebrow at him as I crossed my arms across my chest. He laughed as he sat down on the coffee table in front of me. "Are you jealous doll?"

Now it was my turn to laugh, "seriously? You think that's what it is? I'm not fucking jealous of your whores. I don't want to sleep or be anywhere near any place that you...."

He laughed back at me and leaned in close. "Then I'm guessing you don't want to know what I have done on that couch your fine ass is sitting on."

I gasped, "here?" I pointed down toward the cushions.

He nodded, "sometimes two at a fuckin time."

My hand collided with the side of his face, his head snapped to the side and when his eyes met mine I could see surprise in them before he shook it off.

"How dare you! You know how I felt about all of this, way before when we first got together you knew how I felt about you having other wives. Then you expect me to live in the same place they did! What? Is this a punishment because you are still mad at me for saving your sorry ass!? I want out of here and I want out of here now!"

"You wanna spend the duration of your pregnancy in one of the cells down stairs?" He challenged.

"Yes! I would rather be down there than in here! I don't care I'll sleep on the ground outside before I stay another minute in here." I stood and hobbled towards the door but he stepped in front of me. "Get out of my way."

"Or what?" He growled.

"You really want to find out big man? Just because I'm still recovering doesn't mean I can't kick your ass." He smiled, taking a step forward I shook my head. I shoved him as hard as I could but he didn't move. His hands cupped my face, I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me. "Dont touch me." He smirked and I beat my hands against his chest. He crashed his lips to mine and for a moment I got lost in his kiss but then I got my wits about me and pushed against his chest until he broke the kiss. "No. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm done, I'm gone. Leave me alone."

He stepped back but didn't let go of my face. "You know you don't mean that. You fuckin love me and you know it."

I pulled his hands from my face, "used to. Not anymore. Maybe one of your whores will take you back but not me." I pushed past him and slammed the door open making my way to the stairs.

"Where the fuck you think you're going?" Negan growled as he spun me around to face him.

"Anywhere but in there." I gestured towards the room we were just in.

"Yes you goddamn are, you're not going anywhere else beside back in that fuckin room." He tried to pull me back but I dug my 9heels in, not budging. "Damn it, would you just listen for once in your fuckin life!"

I pulled out of his grasp and almost tumbled backwards but caught myself on the railing of the stairs. I turned and took the first step down, the pain in my hip screamed at me to stop but my anger fueled me to push ahead.

"Y/n! Stop!" Negans voice boomed from behind me, I flipped him the finger and took the next step down. He was there beside me in a instant sweeping me up in his arms.

"I'm not going back in there." I stated matter of factly.

"I get the point, okay. Damn woman, you'll be the death of me yet." He whispered under his breath, he took me back up the stairs, we passed the dreadful wives room and continued down the hall until we got to his bedroom door. He opened the door and took me to the bed and placed me gently down on it.

A sense of comfort came over me at the familiar sights and smells of the room that we used to share. Nothing had changed since the last rime I was in here and that gave me comfort as well. "I thought you didnt want me in here?"

"You didn't give me much of a fuckin choice now did you?" He huffed as he sat down in the chair across from the bed.

"Why do you hate me so much that you don't want me in here?" I felt tears spring to my eyes.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his hand over his face. "I don't fuckin hate you. I didn't want to bring you in here because when we are alone together, I forget why I'm mad at you to begin with."

"Well, why do you want to stay mad at me?"

"Because if I'm not angry at you then..."

I waited but he didn't continue, "then?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. I need to go let Sarah know where you'll be staying. Do me a favor and stay put." I nodded then he left the room. Leaving me there to ponder on what he was going to say. Why wouldn't he let down his guard around me? Being back here in this room made me less angry as well, knowing this is our place just for us made me happy. That's something I haven't felt in a while. 

A few minutes later Sarah walked into the room, I expected negan to be behind her but he wasn't. Sarah seemed to know what I was thinking, "he's with the saviors. They're going on a run or something."

I nodded but my heart sank I really thought we were gonna make some headway but he didn't want to be around me right now. Maybe when he came home tonight we would finally be able to get down to the point on what was going on inside that head of his.

@missamberv @an-unhealthy-obsession @vicmc624 @tftumblin @justanotherwinchester @jesseswartzwelder @holylulusworld @fangirl199812 @emerloveskate

@visualranch

@supernatural3002

[dodo-begone]

The Monster Within

Pairing: Yandere!DSMP!Awesamedude x Reader

Request: hiya!! could i request some hcs for yan! sam ? 😳 you're ones for schlatt were really good and im a whore for yandere dsmp food

Word Count: 1K

Warning: Yandere, Trauma, Declining Mental Health

A/N: Sorry i made this into a fic. Forgive me asiofjasnd

There is a part 2 called He's Unleashed, my Cracker King.

If this ever looks wonky/glitched, i have this properly archived on Ao3

You had known Sam for a long time. Well, knew of him. You didn’t know him personally for quite a while. But his reputation precedes him, making him a well known person all across the smp, even without a lot of people talking to him. And when you did manage to meet him, it felt like something clicked between the two of you. And you guys did have a small little friendship going on, quite steadily in fact.

Then the prison project came up. Sam started to talk to you less and less. The relationship had been broken back to square one; you two were essentially strangers again.

There was practically no contact between the two of you, but there were times when he would seek you out. Those were supposedly when he was taking a small break. Sam’s little recesses from the prison were fantastic. The two of you enjoyed the time together; treasuring the moments until the peaceful and playful spell would dissipate and reality came to reclaim its hold on y’all.

The eggpire had been a problem for a while with their insistent methods of recruitments. Though their most recent tactic was extreme to the max, or the max that you could think of. They kidnapped Sam and locked him up with the egg and kept him in there so long to the point where he started mutilating himself just to stay alive.

Once Sam was rescued, there was talk about who would care for Sam. There weren’t many options. It was either the eggpire, which was a definite no, or Puffy. Leaving Puffy alone to care for Sam just seemed wrong. And it was an opportunity to be around Sam, so that was a plus.

It wasn’t long into his care that Sam was begging y’all to let him go. He was perfectly fine. He had to get to the prison. Somebody had to keep an eye on Dream. But you two elected to ignore Sam. After all, it was for his best interest. Nobody can take care of a prison on their own when they’re injured.

After a few tedious weeks of rest, you and Puffy deem Sam well enough to return to the prison. Now he seemed somewhat reluctant to leave. His internal struggle was very evident through his eyes; they switched from the exits to you and Puffy. Though he made the decision to return to his duties. It was honestly kinda hilarious how quickly Sam ran to the nether portal to get to Pandora’s Prison after such a long period of contemplation.

People started to visit Dream in his cell after Sam was back. Though what they said was concerning. They said Sam was acting odd, though they wouldn’t talk too much about it. Only stating that he’d seemed off, but that was to be expected. He was still recovering from the egg both physically and mentally.

Some of the things they talked about was how he seemed more “harsh”. “Apathetic” and “disconnected from reality” were some of the other descriptions. And he supposedly had done a horrible deed, something about cheating, and Ponk leaving him because of it. Like what the fuck, hold the phone. Ponk was leaving Sam? Sam was cheating on him as well? Since when?! What was going on here?!

Nobody knew what was happening to him mentally, though. They only had a slight idea on what could’ve been happening.

While in the prison, Dream started to taunt Sam. Again. It wasn’t an unusual activity for Dream. There aren’t many activities he could do in such a tiny cell and with so few items. He heckled Sam on the daily, maybe even hourly, probing around for a weakness of Sam’s. Something gave it away, because Dream started to mention you more. Saying how you’d be so disappointed in Sam’s treatment of Dream, that’d you’d see him as a monster if you only knew the things he was doing and never talk to him again, and other nasty things. Trying his best to get under Sam’s skin.

On top of that, he was slightly influenced by the egg. Sometimes it would whisper little words to him and other times it talks to him in his dreams. It always talked about you. How you weren’t safe with the others, that they were going to take you from him. If he gave himself to the egg, he could get anything and everything he wanted. And you were included.

He resisted the egg’s siren call. After all, the egg wouldn’t help at all. And he had to stay out of its control. Look at what it had done to Ant and Bad. It was for his sake that he didn’t listen. By his sake, he really meant for your sake. You were precious and fragile.

When you got news of Sam’s behavior, you immediately gave him a visit. The rumors were right; something about him felt very off, very wrong. But you couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

The sight of him was a relief, but at the same time it worried and saddened you. He looked somewhat defeated and very tired. His appearance showed that he wasn’t caring for himself and definitely overworking himself in his semi-vulnerable state.

You decided that Sam needed more human contact, especially other than Dream, and went to visit him more often. With each visit, he seemed to perk up a bit more, look a bit better.

Though every time you’d leave, he’d get a little pouty, asking if you actually had to leave. A chuckle would leave your lips. “Of course I do, silly. I have to go to sleep and you need to watch over Dream. I don’t want to distract you more than I already have”.

During one of your visits, Tommy accompanied you. He went to talk to Dream, to finally get over some of his trauma from Dream. And you went to have your regular talks with Sam.

It was very unfortunate that your conversation was cut off by the security breach. It was terrifying and peculiar. The prison was supposed to be very secure and inescapable. Whatever set the alarm off must be a force to be reckoned with.

Sam quickly ushers you into a cell “for your protection”. As he runs off, you pray to any deity that’ll listen for him to come out of the encounter unharmed. Completely unaware of what Sam held in store for you.

[izzy-b-hands]

harvest, amber, and maize!

!!!! Thank u!!

TW for mental health stuff and a past incident with misogyny involved. The answers weren't gonna get serious but then they did, sorry y'all. If any of u read this all pls have this virtual prize: 🎃

Harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

There's a good few on that list, but let's go with a recent one, and the one that'll piss off my regular Izzy Hands hater anon lmaooo. Hey bud, hope ur well! EDIT: ooh enjoy what essentially became my I Love Izzy essay aksjkfngn

Obviously, I mean Izzy. I'm gonna be like brutally honest abt myself now because why not frankly?

Like Izzy, I get left out of shit, or I'm the butt of the joke for being stringent abt rules and getting shit done before fucking around, and then fucking around mindfully if possible (but only with ppl who show they can't do both at the same time. It's a skill, honest.) It's happened since I was very little, and boy howdy you think I would learn right away that this means most ppl will hate u, but my little autistic ass did not! Izzy also apparently has not learned that yet, but I have my fingers crossed for him.

Like Izzy, I pick up the slack where I see it, in the hopes ppl I care abt aren't affected by any issues said slack might cause them. What my clinic job taught me with that, is that you make yourself indispensable and dependable yeah, but then they never promote you and stack more work on you until you break like that oar cracked over Ed's thigh. And that's bad!!! My mental and physical health prove it lmao. For Izzy's sake, I sort of hope something or someone in S2 makes him slow down before he either takes a fatal blow meant for Ed, or has a heart attack from stress.

Like Izzy, I'm not real good with love or affection. I hold a lot but I can't ever seem to figure out how to set it down or share it right with others. Compliments unsettle me before I can remind myself to shut the fuck up and just say thank you for it. I prefer, in work and school at least, to be mostly ignored as proof I'm doing well. Being pulled aside or asked for a meeting is instantly a sign I've fucked up, at least in the first instant lmao. I want to be more comfortable around others and be a better friend, a better son, a better person over all. But I don't know how to do it yet. I'm trying though. I know Izzy might not get that at all in the show, but ngl it would be cool if he did.

I'm noting the negatives mostly here because, like Izzy, the above shit means I've fucked up a lot. I've hurt ppl i didn't mean to, and ruined opportunities for myself. I've hidden from living my life beyond work and caring for others while neglecting myself, sometimes because I feel like that's all I deserve and other times to feel something.

But I'm not totally ruined, and in my opinion neither is Izzy. It'll take work on him as a character and what is in his arc for him to do and be better in any way, but I have a feeling that's not what we're too likely to get. And that's okay too, I'll just be happy for more Izzy aksnkfng. Even if he just let someone give him a hug by the end of the show, I'll take that.

Also, like Izzy, I'm a wonderful shag and I do look fucking amazing in leather 🖤

Amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

Tbh I think the above essay might be it lmaooo

But here's a silly one to contrast the above answer: Ketchup is disgusting. It just is. Tomatoes are only good for pizza sauce, nothing else. Beating the tomato into a pulp and adding water and sugar does nothing good for it unless!! this is in the process to make the aforementioned pizza sauce.

Maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

Tbh my weirdest one is also my scariest one:

Back when I first started at the clinic and before I was out as trans/still wearing fancy dresses to work and heels (now they're an at home thing, not brave enough to wear them out anymore even when I want to)

this older dude started following me, trying to make conversation as I walked from my house to the downtown clinic (approx 12 blocks, through the downtown area of shops/restaurants, all not really open yet cuz it was like 640 AM). He's making me uncomfortable with the topics he brings up, i can only go so fast without outright running and i feel if i do that he'll just grab me. i tell him ill call the cops if he doesn't stop following me (i was dumb and like 19, now i wouldn't bother with the cops or want them involved at all)

i was lying. Back then i had a shitty iphone i hated and never used cuz no one ever called or texted me lmaoo so I lived on my ipod touch instead. this meant i never kept it charged, so it was a brick in my purse.

he met me on block four. He followed me until block eleven.

I kept trying to ignore him while i walked on, knowing I'd be late to open the clinic and fearing that fucking lecture from my asshole manager (fuck u Colette, get help before u manage anyone else)

But he's trying to snag my arm now, holding out his flip phone and telling me go ahead, do it, call the fucking cops! whore, slut, bitch, I'd pissed him off good. He claims he only wanted to find out the time from me, and that was his first question, before he asked if i wanted any company (even if i had, he wasn't my type)

I had passed only closed businesses until then, and i was starting to freak the fuck out. But, i was at block eleven, the clinic was within sight, just over the train tracks. if i could get a little closer to it, i could run and hopefully unlock the employee entrance, get in, and lock it before he caught up

Then, I see a woman cleaning the glass door of the Mexican restaurant a crosswalk and some feet away (it was in a historic train station building and had excellent food because an actual Mexican family owned it. It's since closed, and now a shitty microbrewery is in the building. Im still mad abt it lmaoo).

I bolt across the street to get there, ignoring one honked horn from a truck when i am still ninety percent sure it was not his light anyway, and scare the everloving shit out of this poor kind woman. The door is locked, the guy is now across the street and walking briskly towards us while i beat on the glass, sobbing, and beg her to let me in.

at the last second, she does. she doesn't speak a lot of English, i don't speak much Spanish, but we spanglish the moment and she locks the door once im in, shouting at the dude as he now bangs on it

y'all i wish i could thank that family so much more past what i did that day. The woman, the mom, got me some tortilla chips and water and sat me in the dining area. The dad called the cops, and their two twenty something and mid teen something sons go out the back door and start telling him to fuck off or they'd all make sure the cops took him away. They had no real obligation to even let me in, let alone shelter me more, and they did.

cops show up, and proceed to be cops: useless. They take statements from everyone, then tell the family that im being dramatic and the guy just needed to know the time. one cop asks if i want a ride to work now. I say no thanks, because im now realizing im very late and no one knows where i am/whats happening, and i just want to run the last little bit to work.

Nope, he now insists i ride in the back of his squad car while he lectures me on giving a polite man trouble like that. Before we drive off, the family gives me a wave and the guy that followed me walks off the way he came.

then i went to work, told everyone what happened in tears, got told to clean up and get to work. worked the late part of that day too after a coworker left sick. fkn sucked lmao.

Now my family refuses to let me walk anywhere alone and i feel like a child at 28. I probably shouldn't have told them abt the above lmaooo

[bastillewolf]

Hey I know you probably have like a billion requests already but maybe you could do something where the reader is good friends with corpse (maybe with some unspoken feelings) and they ask him to visit their country side home lmao-

I'm really embarrassed about asking this and I know it sounds strange but being out in the country side can be really good for mental health and I just want this boi to heal--

I'm so sorry hahah

Thanks

That’s not strange at all, darling!! I love this ask! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this, my mental health hasn’t been very good lately. I suppose I found this ask rather appropriate and I guess that’s why I liked writing it so much. Hope you enjoy!

Sunrise, Sunset - Oneshot

Pairings: Corpse Husband / Reader.

“Yo,” is the first thing you hear as you open your Discord. It’s not his regular greeting, and he sounds more tired than usual.

“What’s up?” you asked curiously. “Everything okay? Haven’t talked to you in a while.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I got really busy.”

“I can tell from your voice,” you chuckled. It had more of a rasp to it- if that was even possible.

“Yea, I can’t do too much for too long. I love that I’m able to work on music now, but it exhausts my voice so much that I can’t even stream sometimes.”

“Maybe you should take a break,” you comment.

“Probably. It’s almost done, so then I can stream more,” he replies.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Hm?”

“I’m talking about an actual break, from everything.”

You hear him exhale deeply as if he’d already been considering it himself. “That does sound very nice.”

“I know, I always have the best ideas.”

“You do, except you forgot about the fact that I can’t really go anywhere. I mean, I’d love to take a break, but if I just sit here at home, I’m gonna either end up doing nothing or start working anyways. I don’t see me relaxing that way.”

“I didn’t forget about anything; I just hadn’t gotten to that part yet.”

“Oh?”

You’d be lying if you said that noise didn’t make you blush. “Remember how I said I live in the countryside? You know, it’s quite cosy here, and I have a guest bedroom to spare. If you want, but only if you’re comfortable with it, you could come over.”

It was quiet for a moment and your poor nerves were wondering if you’d said something completely wrong. You knew how he was about his privacy, but you’d figured that having known each other for a more than a few months now, you’d be at a point where you’d become actual friends, especially considering you always talked over Discord. At least, when he wasn’t busy.

“I... You wouldn’t mind?” he asked softly.

“Of course not!” You immediately replied, trying your best to make him feel as welcome as possible. “It’ll be so much fun! I was just worried you wouldn’t feel comfortable with it, otherwise, I would’ve invited you over a lot sooner.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes! I’m always looking for people to take care of my chickens.”

“You have chickens?” he sputtered.

“Sure do. And that was a joke, by the way.”

He didn’t really give you much time to prepare. He’d instantly asked if he could come over in two days, which meant you had to clean, do the groceries, and have another mental breakdown within that short time.

When he did arrive at your relatively small but homely cottage, you knew that even if you’d had more time, you still wouldn’t have felt like you’d prepared enough. You were incredibly nervous, especially as the cab slowed to a nerve-wracking speed until it finally stopped in front of your little wooden fence that really couldn’t keep anyone out of your garden because it was so ramshackle.

You nod your head to the driver politely, who got out of the car to unload a bag from the trunk. Then, the door opened, ringed fingers sliding across the yellow polish on the metal framing. He pulled himself up and out, finally allowing you to take a good look at his face.

His hair was dark and curly, as to be expected from what you’d seen in the pictures, though you could barely see it underneath the hood he’d pulled up. His dark brown eyes immediately found yours, and a shy smile graced his lips, which you bashfully returned with a small wave. It made you want to hit yourself multiple times. He paid the cabby and thanked him, allowing you to take a good look at his attire, at his frame, at his whole being. He was wearing a black hoodie with some chains around it, along with dark baggy trousers and, go figure, black sneakers. He was slightly slouching, probably so the driver wouldn’t be able to make out his face in its entirety, but overall he looked lean, even while his face was more pale and tired, with dark circles surrounding his eyes.

He locked the creaky wooden fence behind him, quickly closing the distance between you two with only a few strides. He dropped his backpack on the floor, saying, “hi.” “Hey,” you replied with that stupid smile still on your face and now quite possibly a hint of red dusting your cheeks. He just chuckled at the slight awkwardness of the situation, before wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug. He smelled like nice cologne, and he gave really good hugs. It said a lot that you could tell that from just the one. “Thanks for letting me come over,” he muttered, finally allowing himself to sound as exhausted as he looked.

“I told you, it’s nothing.”

When you met his eyes again as he pulled back, you knew he was quietly telling you that it meant more to him than that. Feeling shy under his dark gaze, you shook your head, saying, “Come on, let me show you around.”

It wasn’t that big of a tour, but it was home and it was comfortable, so you never felt embarrassed about it. You made enough money, to be fair, from your career through YouTube, but you’d never really had the heart to leave the house. At least you had a guest bedroom, and the garden was something to dream of. To trade that in for a bit more storage space would be such a pity.

“-and this is going to be your room, for however long you wish to stay,” you finish with a flourish of your hand. He set his suitcase down on the freshly made bed and nodded, glancing around for a bit before his eyes landed back on you. “Did I tell you how much I appreciate you doing this for me?”

You huff, “Once or twice now.”

“I’ll be off your back in a few days, don’t worry. I think I just needed to get out of my stuffy apartment for a bit.”

“Stay as long as you’d like,” you told him assuredly, “I know how stressful it can be and I haven’t even been through what you have. I can’t imagine what it must be like.”

He shrugs, “I have my ups and downs. It’s mostly my health issues and anxiety holding me back.”

“Well, I hope you can relax a bit here, then. People seem to feel more at ease without a bustling city around them,” you said.

He glanced out the window and nodded. “Yeah, I immediately noticed it as I got out of the car. It’s so... quiet here. And the air, of course. It’s so much nicer.”

“I usually take walks in the early mornings. You should come along sometime if you’d like. The sunrise is always really pretty when you get up on the hill.”

The corners of his lips quirked up. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” you replied, clapping your hands together, “I’ll let you get settled and start dinner. The uh- the bathroom is shared, I left a stack of towels on the rack so you can use those.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

You nodded shyly, silently closing the door behind you as you stepped into the hall. You let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the wall, pressing the backs of your hands against your cheek in a vain attempt to cool down the heat and tone down the redness. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d reacted this way but the times you’d spend talking about everything and nothing with Corpse through Discord calls that lasted until the early mornings. You knew you shouldn’t be feeling this way. You didn’t want to risk the friendship you had with him, but the tingling that had sprouted in your gut the moment he’d gotten out of that car told you that this was going to be hard.

 You knocked on his door quietly, afraid you were accidentally going to wake him when he didn’t want to be awoken. You didn’t know what kind of morning person he’d be, but he told you yesterday that he wanted to join you for your walk today. And while you were going to leave half an hour later than usual because it took you that long to work up the courage to knock on his door, meaning you were going to have to hurry a bit to catch the sun rising, you were still scared he was going to react grouchily. But when he opened the door, already dressed and ready to go, you realized you’d foolishly forgotten that this wasn’t just anyone, but that this was one of your friends; someone you already knew, even if it hadn’t been physically. Of course, he’d open the door with a smile, even though he looked more tired than the day before, which worried you.

“How did you sleep?” You made it evident in your tone that you were rather scared to ask the question, but it made him chuckle.

“I think you already know the answer to that. I don’t sleep well in general, so don’t worry. It has nothing to do with the bed or your hospitality.”

“Well, if there’s anything I can do for you, I don’t mind being woken up.”

He shook his head as he followed you downstairs and out the front door. “To be fair, I slept more than I usually would, but your rooster woke me up.”

You laughed, “Yea, I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about that.” You held the wooden fence gate open for him, following him to the grass field until you were walking next to him. You silently picked up your pace a bit, worrying that you might miss the sunrise when you had promised it to him.

“I know, I know,” he replied amusedly, “Can we go see them later? The chickens?”

“Sure,” you smiled, “I also have a few ducks. You’ll love them, they’ll try to rip the shoelaces from your feet.”

“Sounds great.”

The walk to the hill wasn’t too far, but the hill was quite steep, which was always an exercise for people who walked with you for the first time, so you’d figured he’d start trailing behind you after some time. Thing is, he started trailing behind relatively earlier than you had expected him to.

Glancing back over your shoulder, you called out, “you good? We’re almost there.”

He nodded, though you could see him slightly panting, and you turned around to jog up the last bit until you reached the top. You could see a sliver of light start to peek over the horizon, making you glance back to see how far away he was.

But instead of having moved forward, he was now sort of slouched over, holding his stomach as he panted loudly. “Shit,” you cursed yourself as you sprinted back down until you skidded to a stop in front of him. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I should have slowed down-“

“It’s fine,” he waved you off, slowly catching his breath. “I can do it, I just take a bit longer.”

“I’ll carry you if I have to. I got us into this mess.”

He chuckled, but it sounded a bit hoarse.

“Come on,” you said. He furrowed his brow in confusion but followed you anyway. Walking along the side of the hill was tricky, but you made it around without any issues. He was able to keep up this time and gratefully plopped down on the grass beside you, just in time to watch the sun fully appear from behind the horizon.

“Holy shit,” he breathed.

“Yea, it never really gets old.” You laid down, feeling twigs of grass tickle the bareback of your neck.

He joined you, scooting a bit closer until your arms were brushing against each other. You couldn’t tell if he’d done it on purpose, so you acted like it hadn’t affected you, keeping your eyes fixed on the sky above you. At least, you tried. They flickered when you felt fingertips graze across your lower arm until they reached your palm, where his nails slowly dragged along your skin until his warm digits intertwined with yours. His rings felt cool against the heat and tingling you were suddenly feeling in your hand. He didn’t let go of you, not as you laid there for what seemed like hours, nor during the entire walk back.

‘Is this what friends do?’ you were silently asking yourself, watching the ducks try to free his shoes from its laces, ‘is this what friends do when they need support? Is this his way of coping, or is it-‘ You quickly shook the thought away. Of course, he wouldn’t think of you that way. He probably did stuff like this with all his friends. You knew how playful he could get, his guy friends included.

Yeah, it was just that. It had to be.

You were both laid back on the couch that night, stuffed to the brink with the famous lasagne you’d put together. The TV was on, but it sounded more like static noise in the background. “I think I can just fall asleep right here,” you hummed. The glass of red wine you’d shared – because neither of you could handle liquor – had created a pleasant buzz between the two of you.

“That seems a lot less comfortable than your bed.”

“You don’t know a thing about my bed,” you huffed indignantly.

It was quiet for a moment then, a sliver of tension seeping through the warmth of your home. “I think it’s probably about as comfortable as mine, otherwise you’re treating your guests too much,” he replied.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, “I’ve actually never slept in the guest bedroom. I might just be treating my guests too much and I’d never even know about it.”

He suddenly sat up and turned the TV off. “Come on,” he said and was already up the stairs by the time you’d made an attempt to move.

When finally reached the upstairs and were about to round the corner, you were suddenly picked up and slung over his shoulder, causing you to let out a loud shriek. “Corpse!” you laughed, “Please put me down!”

“You were taking too long,” he grumbled, dropping you down on the bed unceremoniously. He shuffled over until he was laying down next to you and lifted the covers up until it reached your neck.

“So?” he asked.

You had your eyes closed. “I might be treating my guests too much.”

He snorted. “Fucking knew it,” which made you laugh.

You laid there for quite a while, not really caring if either of you fell asleep with your regular clothes still on. “Hey Corpse?”

He hummed.

“I’m really glad you came. It gets lonely over here sometimes.”

He shifted, but because it was so dark you couldn’t really see what he was doing. Suddenly though, you felt him hovering over you, his elbows resting on either side of your face as his hand reached across to move a strand of hair to the side. He leaned down and hesitantly, his lips barely touched yours, a silent question if this was okay. You moved back against him, your hand finding his cheek in the darkness. His kisses were gentle, but passionate, which made your breaths heavier and deeper. When you pulled apart, you were both breathing heavily, mostly from the tension that had arisen.

“I really like you,” you admitted.

“Good,” he replied, wrapping his arms around you until you were tucked against his chest. You hit his arm playfully, “Cocky bastard.”

You hear the smirk in his voice as he said goodnight.

TAG LIST CLOSED!

@annshit @simonsbluee @majolittlemixgurl18 @redosmo @mythicalreader @gracehaileym @ollwinchester @thehatredofshiprrick @curlyhairedbrock @thatbandchick39 @reddeserths @mitseuul @potenzel @tanchosanke @tooturntashbash @stephn-prkr @missingpuzzlepiece @sweetasphyxiation @goldiefox1 @imrisaluk @chimchimsugakookies @helena-way07 @danny-devitowo @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @cherry-piee @artist-bby @brattyaphrodite @eccedxntesiaast @faithneko @thebootythrasher @bethpiercwhy @theeerealpunkin @heartbroken-writer @chisaikuki @realnicoleworld @derpygiraffe43110 @rintomoj @phantomamethyst @helloitsmeamie203 @falcon-arrows @ellomellows @loraleiix @ladolcedea @lunaruss @princess00wifi @pennnyroyalty @cultofandom @easygoingtheatre @thatonefangirlbornonfriday @myherotrashbin @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @martinimom @gummybear123 @sparklingblacktea @lovelynervouskingdom @kingsuals @weeblyheaux @flightsandfantasy @chanelle-jackson @actual-spawn-of-satan @consumegods @mirandabarry @narwhalsaremagicalbroski @armycandy10 @chillininahottub-withaghost @mitchiesdungeon @yeolliedokai @alyofmusic @qatiee @dzzizzi @johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt @leilanixx @thefuckthesaurus @hughugh20 @thanossexual @moneybagmgk @squintyangel @motheroffae @arossebyanyothername @vacaprincess @jinxedanxrchist @peterparkerspjsuit @chrysanthykios @wildflowerwhore @justalilsimpsometimes @bunniwritesx @sunnsettee @alilshit @laugh-like-the-moon @sadness-babee @corpsie-bby @corpsesgirl @dead-boys-stuff @roses-and-grasses @byunniebaekhyunnie @lazy-little-me @phantomamethyst @letsloveimagines @polahorvat @possiblyanxioushuman @a-dot-dev @aniyahsucks @error-loading-sorry @bi-andready-tocry @agustdpeach @xibrokensunriseix @genjicats @devilishducky97 @alyss01 @anacrcarvalho @siriuslystupid @bakugonua @n0t-a-simp @notmewrongb1tch @c00ln3rdz @rolls-and-rolex  @namjoons-crabssss @laurenfangirlsout @lickmyleeches @and-claudia @netflix-imagines @bigdickdaddysatan @iambashfulperson @helloitsmeamie203 @peachdoppi @easygoingtheatre @danielle143 @kyky9103 @tayloryorkscurls @v-kouya @jeezkiddo @smokeynaomi @lukoivichi @boiled-onionrings @nerdinthecorner @corpse-husbandsimp @ramdomtails @elebeleb @captainbuckyy @smile-its-psychotic 

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Hiii!! I really love your tumblr posts and I'm pretty new to the Batfam (meaning I have only read fics and textposts about them, no comics) and I wanted to ask about the year Bruce/Batman gets "lost in time". I know general things of what the kids have been doing–Dick became batman and fired Tim from robin, giving it to Damian, everyone thinking Tim was crazy for believing Bruce was alive, (don't really know what Jason was up to though, was he still murderous towards Tim? Does the pit still affect him? Also I have no idea about Cass and Duke, were they introduced at this point??) Anyways, my real question was why was Bruce lost in time, what villain put him there? And how did he get out? And how long was he "dead"? Was Bruce in another reality or like just asleep the whole time? Oh! And how soon did this happen after Damian got introduced to the family–a couple months?

I'm so sorry this is so long, but I hope you answer and thank you!!

(I’m going to try and cover all my bases here by going into how exactly Bruce “died,” what went down during the Battle For the Cowl, what the Batkids did while Bruce was gone, and how Bruce came back. Hopefully it all makes sense?? We’ll see how it goes lmao.)

Part 1 - What Happened to Bruce:

So there was this event called Final Crisis (which I won’t go completely into since it would make this post a million times longer than it already is), but the bottom line is that Darkseid wants to overthrow reality and release his Anti-Life Equation, which would overthrow the whole planet and turn everyone into slaves. (If you’re interested in knowing more about the storyline, here’s a Reddit thread that explains it WAY better than I could.) 

What I CAN tell you is that during his final confrontation with Darkseid, Bruce is hit by an Omega Beam and turned into a burnt chicken nugget killed. Poor guy.

Final Crisis #6

Clark and Diana bring the body back to the Batcave and break the news to the Batfamily. Batman #687 covers a good portion of the aftermath such as Bruce’s funeral, the Batfamily grieving, and Dick coming to terms with his new responsibility of becoming Batman.

Batman #687

Part 2 - Battle For the Cowl: 

Musical chairs time, fellas! After word gets out that Batman is gone, Gotham erupts into chaos. Dick doesn’t want to take over the mantle, Tim needs Dick to take over the mantle, and Jason says “fuck it” and takes over the mantle himself because somebody around here has to. He becomes this murderous psychopathic Batman and starts taking out criminals with deadly force because someone’s gotta do the job, so it might as well be him.

Batman: Battle For the Cowl #1

(Okay honestly, this series had some pretty bad characterization overall, which sucks since it’s such an important storyline. Jason is portrayed as this violent psychopath, which...okay, he was kind of insane after the Pit and all, but not to this degree. Personally, I choose to owe the bad characterization to Bruce’s death because as much as Jason resents Bruce for all he’s done, he does still love him and losing him would be devastating, which would exacerbate his already fragile mental health. As for Damian, this happens roughly three years after his first appearance, so we can assume it’s been a few months since he first joined the family. He’s still relatively new at this point, so nobody knows how to write him yet. He ends up being depicted as if his main two personality traits are Bratty and Assassin-Child and that’s it. It’s all just a mess.)

Anyway, Tim tells Dick to become Batman and stop Jason’s reign of terror. Dick says no, so Tim follows Jason’s lead by saying “fuck it” and putting on the cowl himself. He goes to confront Jason, which ends in Jason beating the crap out of him (again) and leaving him for dead after Tim declines his offer to become Jason’s Robin. Dick goes to save Tim and ends up fighting Jason. 

Battle For the Cowl #3

Dick wins, Jason disappears, Tim is fine, and Dick finally gets his head out of his ass and becomes Batman. 

Part 3 - What Happens to Each Batkid While Bruce is “Dead”?:

Dick: 

As I said, Dick becomes the new Batman a month after Bruce’s death. He’s got big shoes to fill, and it takes some time for him to get used to his new role. He and Damian end up flipping around the classic Batman and Robin dynamic, with Batman now as the fun counterpart to Robin’s edginess. Dick, Damian, and Alfred relocate to the penthouse above the Wayne Foundation building, operating out of a secret Bat-Bunker in the basement.

Batman #688

Jason: 

After Battle For the Cowl, Jason is still batshit insane and determined to make Dick’s already stressful life even harder by becoming a supervillain with an ugly costume and an even uglier hairstyle. (I know it’s just because the artist sucked, but still. Jason is horrifying to look at during this time.) He mostly just gets on Dick’s nerves by running around Gotham with his new sidekick Scarlet and killing criminals as Batman and Robin wannabes. Eventually, Dick has Jason committed to Arkham Asylum and he hangs out there until Bruce returns.

Batman and Robin (2009) #5

Tim: 

Tim...doesn’t do great after Bruce’s death, mentally. Dick makes Damian Robin, his reasoning being that Robin is more of a sidekick and he sees Tim as his equal. By making Damian Robin, Dick hopes that it will give him the stability he needs to keep him from straying back toward the “bad” side. (It’s the right move ultimately, although his execution was pretty messed up since he didn’t discuss it with Tim beforehand, but he’s allowed to make mistakes. Dick’s father just died and now he’s in charge of picking up the pieces of their broken family. It’s a lot to handle.) 

Long story short, Tim has a breakdown, realizes that Bruce is alive, dons the Red Robin identity, and cuts ties with his family to travel the world in search of proof. It’s a rough time. 

Red Robin #1

Damian: 

Our little guy becomes Robin! So proud of him! As I explained earlier, Dick makes Damian his Robin with the assumption that it will keep him out of trouble, and he’s right on that account. He mentors Damian, teaching him how to channel his violent instincts into something productive, and it works! Slowly but surely, Damian makes the transition from bratty assassin to actual hero!

Batman and Robin (2009) #22

Cass:

Duke sadly was not introduced at this point in time, so he missed out on all the pandemonium. Cass, however, has been Batgirl for years by now, but she got kind of pushed aside by the writers after Bruce’s death. Bruce disappears shortly after adopting Cass, but once he was “dead,” the writers sort of moved Cass around for a while, not quite knowing what to do with her. First she was with the Outsiders. Then they got disbanded and Cass tried forming a new network of heroes to take over for Batman if needed. Then she helped out in said network during Battle for the Cowl, taking care of a newly ravaged Gotham. Then Cass gave the Batgirl mantle to Stephanie Brown after she became disillusioned with the role, thanks to the loss of her father and mentor. Then Cass picked up and moved to Hong Kong to “follow Bruce’s plans” by continuing whatever work he had set up for her there. It was all very vague and confusing, and Cass more or less got swept under the rug during this time. Thanks, writers.

Batgirl (2009) #1

Part 4 - How Bruce Came Back: 

When the Blackest Night storyline happens, the Justice League realizes that the corpse buried under Bruce’s grave is apparently not the real one and that he’s actually alive out there somewhere! How wild is that! This is further proven by Dick after he places Bruce’s body in a Lazarus Pit to revive, which has the same result because it’s very clearly Not Bruce and they should have listened to Tim from the start.

Batman and Robin (2009) #9

Anyway, what actually happened is that the Omega Beams that Darkseid shot at Bruce didn’t kill him, but rather blasted him back through time to the prehistoric era with his memories wiped. The Omega Energy inside of Bruce ends up catapulting him through various time periods, which is all part of Darkseid’s plan. With each time-hop, Bruce builds up more Omega Energy in his body which, when he gets back to his original time period, will be unleashed and destroy everything.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #5

It’s been a little under two years since Final Crisis, though in-universe it’s uncertain exactly how long Bruce has been “dead.” We can assume it’s been a year, give or take. The way he comes back is too scientific and complicated for me to understand, so uhhhh the bottom line is that Tim and a few Leaguers save Bruce at the Vanishing Point and the day is saved! Hooray! 

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #6

(If you want to read about how it actually goes down, then I seriously recommend reading Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne. It’s only six issues, so it’s a quick read and it explains the situation far better than I ever could.)

Bruce eventually reunites with his family after spying on them for a period of time as Insider to see what has changed in his absence:

Bruce Wayne: The Road Home

After that, things quickly settle back into their new normal. Dick and Damian stay on as Batman and Robin. Bruce goes back to being Batman as well, with him handling Batman Incorporated business and Dick continuing as Gotham’s defender. Tim keeps the Red Robin outfit, Steph stays on as Batgirl, and Cass becomes Black Bat. Jason stays in Arkham for a while before filing an appeal to be moved to a regular prison. He kills 82 inmates in less than a week and gets transferred back to Arkham, which he promptly escapes from. It’s a ride, I tell ya.

Aaaaand that’s about it! I hope this answered all of your questions!

[weareallstoriesintheend]

As Long As You Need (Reader x Adam Sackler)

Summary: Adam and Reader are hookup buddies. Adam gets concerned that you don't want to see him for a few weeks and comes over to check on reader. Reader is struggling with anxiety/depression and Adam comforts them through a panic attack.

Warnings: Depression, anxiety & panic attacks

Note: This was the fic I wrote for the Summer 2021 @adcuficexchange for LondonID!🥰 I hope this fic is something that resonates with people, I know mental health is a vast and personal subject but I hope something hits home. Even if it's just some beautiful care from our favourite gremlin 💕

The light of the day was fading slowly and the grey cover of dusk was slipping its way into the room. You lay in bed, head tucked against the pillows, body exhausted with the expense of the energy anxiety was taking from you. You felt empty and yet full to the brim, your mind weighed so heavy that you could barely move most days. The second you heard the loud thumping knocks on your front door you jolted as if waking up from a bad dream.

“Kid you in there?” Adams voice came, muffled by the thick wood of the doors between you, booming through your silence. You realised in that moment that you hadn’t spoken to him or seen him for a while and as someone who was a pretty regular occurrence in your life it suddenly felt strange to hear his voice after such a long time, you pulled your phone out from under the pillow and unlocked it. Your eyes screwed shut at the blinding light, but peeking through your eyelashes you checked your messages. Your last text to him had been nearly 3 weeks ago, then the page was just filled with him texting you again and again. All of which, in the haze of your mind, you had ignored. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him; you craved his cheeky smile, soft hair and adorable galaxy of freckles that smattered his skin. It was just the thought of having to explain the tornado that was tearing you apart that felt like a crushing pressure you couldn’t bear. Basic daily life was enough, sometimes too much, so anything on top of that you had shut out.

You curled yourself into the sheets a little more, pulling them around your shoulders. Although they were soft cotton the brush of them across your overly sensitive skin felt like sandpaper dragging over a raw exposed nerve. You stayed as still as possible whilst his knocks continued to echo through your apartment.

In a way you wondered if you had any obligation to him at all, you guys just hooked up every now and again after meeting at a mutual friends birthday party a year or so ago. Nothing serious, no dates, just fucking. He scratched an itch for you so you didn’t have to brave the dating world that daunted you. He was fun, he made you laugh but he didn’t pressure you to spend any more time with him than coming over to hold you face down into your mattress allowed.

The knocks turned to bangs of a fist and you pulled your blanket over your head, maybe he’d just go away if he thought you weren’t home. Your body thrummed with the disturbance of your comfortable silence and it made you uneasy. A slight nausea rippled through your throat. “I know you’re home” his voice bellowed, you closed your eyes and didn’t respond. “Open the fucking door kid” he shouted, he didn’t sound angry but you couldn’t quite make out the tone. He’d never used it before around you that’s for sure, he almost sounded worried. Then there was more thumping on the door, “Kid, for fucks sake your sweet old lady neighbour is looking at me like I’m fucking nuts, open the door”

You sighed and slung yourself off the bed onto your feet. The rush of movement made your head spin; your muscles and joints ached with a lack of energy. You tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the main room of your apartment, hoping that he couldn’t hear your deliberately soft padding footsteps. With your eyes trained on the door you didn’t notice the chair sticking out from the table and you bumped it as you passed. You froze dead still waiting to see if he’d heard it.

“I can hear you rustling around in there. Just open the fucking door and talk to me”

“I don’t want you to see me” you replied hesitantly, not raising the volume of your voice too high knowing he could hear you through the door now. The croak of your voice finally speaking was crackly and broken. “Why not?”

“I… I don’t look great” you looked at yourself in the reflection of the painting hanging on the wall. In the glass you could just about see yourself looking back; your hair was greasy and dishevelled, your eyes were bloodshot, rimmed with red and dark circles created a deep shadow underneath them. You suddenly balked at how awful you actually looked, you hadn’t showered in a few days and it really showed. Your face looked kind of gaunt with the limited food and sleep you’d given yourself for the last few weeks, mind always racing with one thought after another. The racing thoughts only leaving space for the basics of working at your laptop for 8 hours a day and activities to numb your mind till a restless bedtime. “Are you kidding?” he scoffed, thumping his fist once against the door, “I’ve seen you sweating, crying and covered in my cum… I don’t think you looking a little messy is going to be bother me” You cringed at how loud he was talking and in your embarrassment you frantically pulled the door open, “Jesus Adam don’t say that so loud my neighbours will hear y-“ you paused mid-sentence when you saw how he was looking at you. He was shocked and trying to hide it but his eyes were wide with sympathy. You instantly went to close the door on him again but he put his overly large foot in the way.

“Nope, no way! You opened it, I’m like a vampire, you’ve got to let me in now” he smiled cheekily. You sighed and let go of the door walking away from him. “Listen I don’t know why you’re here” you said, voice trailing behind you as you made your way to the couch hearing him step inside and close the door behind him, “I don’t really think I’m in any fit state to be fucking anyone” “I’m not here to fuck you” he retorted, for some reason that kind of stung. “Then why are you here?” you said, nestling into the couch cushions as he firmly placed himself standing in front of you. Adam was staring down at you with that intense glare he always seemed to have and you squinted your eyes, hurting due to the light from the windows, to look up at him. “Why am I here? You haven’t talked to me for like… three weeks. What the fuck do you think I’m doing here? I thought I was going to find you rotting in the bathtub or some shit” You rolled your eyes “I’m fine” “Oh right this…” he paused, flailing his arms at the quite frankly disgusting state of your living room, “… this is ‘fine’?” “This is as good as it gets” you muttered under your breath. He scoffed and you looked up at him, you took a second to take him in. He’d clearly run here, the beads of sweat were trailing gently down his temples and had matted the curly little front pieces of his hair. The outfit he was wearing, a dark blue cut off tank top, grey knee length shorts and heavy tan work boots over cream socks, would look kind of uncoordinated on anyone else but something about Adam always just… made sense.

“What do you mean?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Nothing” you rolled your eyes again, “You know you can just go right? I don’t even know why you’re bothering”

“What are you talking about kid? I wanted to make sure you were alright. You went all ghost on me and I was worried about you”

“Worried?” now it was your turn to scoff, you could feel the sickening panic rolling around inside your stomach and you needed him to leave.

“Yeah kid… worried” Adams voice suddenly had a tinge of anger behind it and it made the panic swirl harder around inside you.

“Well I don’t need you to worry about me. That’s not your job, your job is to fuck me and leave. And you’re good at that. So you do your job and I’ll do mine”

“Not true” he retorted, face screwed up a little against the harshness of your words.

“You were the one that set those rules Adam” you replied, frustration tainting your words “You don’t need to act like you give a shit”

“Hey when I commit, I really commit” “Commit to what?” you shouted, losing a little of your patience as your ears started to ring and the blood pumped through your body like a steady beat of music. “Commit to you!” he yelled back “We may not be dating or whatever but when I want someone in my life I work for that. Clearly you don’t…we are supposed to be fucking friends after all!”

He had every right to be mad, you had barely treated him like a human being lately and the wash of guilt made your heart start to jump in its rhythm. You could feel the brush of heat up the back of your neck and your pulse thudding in your ears. You shook your head wishing away what you knew was happening; the panic of the overwhelming sense of everything was rising up from your toes. He couldn’t see you like this, it was too embarrassing.

Although your breath was basically coming out like gasps you looked up at him and firmly said “Please leave”

He shook his head “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why you’re avoiding me. Did I do something?” You stood up from your seat on the couch but didn’t get very far, your body felt over stimulated and you couldn’t get your mind clear enough to decide where to go to escape him. So you started pacing back and forth, hands clenching and unclenching at your sides.

“Adam please just go” this time your voice betrayed you even further, the tell-tale break in your speech giving away the tears that had begun to brim in your eyes. You pushed the base of your palms harshly into your eye sockets, rubbing away the tears. “Hey hey hey” he said softly, reaching out for your wrists and you flinched back, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Please just leave!” you shouted, panicked breath coming out of you in heavy pants. “I can’t breathe” you whispered to yourself turning away from him. Your tears, now virtually unstoppable, cascaded down your cheeks as the panic truly set in. You swayed slightly as you began to feel light-headed.

“Tell me what you need” you heard him say, but his voice felt like it was miles away from you even as he stood mere steps away with his hands outstretched slightly in your direction.

This was it, you were officially going crazy. You couldn’t even handle a simple conversation or own up to your shitty actions. You stole a glance at Adam, his eyebrows were pulled down with concern watching you and a wave of nausea rolled up into the back of your throat. He was going to think you were insane after this, this was the last time you were ever going to see him and this was how you were acting. You felt your cheeks heat up, burning with panic and embarrassment. One of the only things that kept you afloat, the only thing had made you happy as of late, was going to walk out. You could imagine him telling his friends about the crazy chick he used to fuck on the side, “She just totally flipped out on me, honestly man fucking nuts” you could practically hear his voice already, full of mocking vitriol towards you.

Then you really started to hyperventilate, chest aching with the weight of your gasps, but something in the back of your mind gave you respite… that wasn’t Adam. That wouldn’t be how he would act. He was kind. You glanced up at him as your hands began to shake violently.

“I-I’m sorry” you stuttered out, you felt your body collapse underneath you as the room began to spin around you. He dove forward to catch you as your body buckled down to the hard wooden floor.

“Come here” his voice was gentle and barely audible to you but he held you tight, this time you didn’t flinch and he quickly gathered you into his arms in the fear you would move away from him again. “It’s just a panic attack, you’re going to be okay. I’m right here, it’ll be over soon” As he pulled you into his chest, seating himself on the floor with you, he stretched his long legs out around you so his whole body was caging you against him. Your breath instantly started to slow down as the warmth and closeness of him soothed you. He didn’t speak too much, he just calmed your mind with hushed whispers of “Shhh” and “You’re going to be okay”.

You clung yourself to him, vibrating with the force of the trembles that were wracking your body. Your teeth chattered in your head causing you to screw your eyes closed in pain. Your fingers wound tight in his shirt as your breathing finally began to even out. Your body released some of the tension that was winding your muscles tight and you leant a little more into his chest.

“H-how did you know?” you stammered, voice barely above a whisper as you regained your breath.

He shrugged “My mom used to get them… and my sister for a while. I’m used to it.” he smiled softly, lips merely twitching up at the edges as he gauged your reaction. He stroked his large hand through your tangled hair, massaging his fingers over your scalp as your body relaxed and you sighed. “Better?” he asked, placing a careful kiss to the top of your head. You nodded, the scent of his cologne and sweat drifted over you as you kept yourself gripped against him, not quite ready to be moved from his warmth.

“You didn’t have to do this” you croaked, looking up at him now. He shook his head and rolled his eyes jokingly, a smirk coming over his lips as he does it.

“You know we don’t just have to fuck right? We can be more than that.” he chuckled, holding your face gently with one hand, “We can also talk, we are friends right?”

You nodded again, looking up at him with wide glassy eyes. He kissed the tip of your nose and you scrunched it.

“Listen maybe we’re just friends for a little while. We can… get lunch or walk through the park when the weather gets better. Whatever you want” he shrugged, you smiled at the level of effort he was so clearly trying to give. Adam hated stuff like that, lunches out and walks in the park; he often said how trivial it all seemed to him. He liked to be at home in his own little world. So the fact he was offering to make you feel better was more than enough to bring a smile to your face. You nodded and giggled when he pumped the air with his fist in celebration.

“And you know, if you need someone to come with you to therapy or whatever I can do that too” he mumbled clearly unsure how you would respond, “You still go to therapy right? I know you mentioned it a while ago and I figured-“ he began to ramble nervously. You pressed your hand into his chest and nodded.

You pushed yourself up a little and placed a kiss to his cheek, “That would help, thank you”

He shuffled a little and rose to get to his feet before extending a hand out to you. You clasped your hand across his, so much smaller in his grasp, and used his body weight to pull yourself up on unsteady legs. He wrapped his arms around you a little bit, his body hunched over yours protectively.

“But first, you need food… and a shower” he paused for a moment, making small grunt-like thinking noises as he looked you over. Then all at once he dipped and gathered you up in his arms, you squealed loudly and wrapped your arms around his neck “What are you doing?” you protested through unsure giggles.

He didn’t say anything but started walking towards your bathroom. He kicked the door open with the toe of his boot and swung his arms so that your head just missed the door frame. He propped you, sitting upright, on the edge of your bathtub before reaching up and turning on your shower. He gestured for you to stand as the water began heating up behind you. Soft clouds of steam quickly started to rise up around the room and he nodded with satisfaction. He tentatively tugged at the base of your oversized-hoodie and you raised your arms above your head. He slipped your hoodie off in one swift motion and dropped it to the floor beside you both. You self-consciously crossed your arms over your now bare chest and he smiled down at you. He placed a kiss to your forehead before kneeling down to wriggle your panties off your hips and down your legs. You shuffled shyly, despite the fact he’d seen you naked so very many times, and stepped out of them as he reached your ankles. He tossed them on top of your hoodie, placing a tender kiss to your stomach as he knelt in front of you, before standing back up to his full height “I’ll get you fresh stuff and wash those” he noted, almost to himself as he spun you by your shoulders so you had your back to him. “You get in there” he pointed to the steady stream of hot water creating billows of steam in the small bathroom, “And I’m going to make you some soup, you still have cans of that chicken one you like?” You nodded once and he placed a firm kiss to your shoulder. With his hands on your waist he placed a final kiss to the top of your head before his touch left you completely. You smiled at his constant need to show you physical care, it was like he understood how even simple affection could heal even the worst of the pain your brain could throw at you. You turned to look over your shoulder as he left the room; like he sensed your hesitation he stopped and turned to look at you with a sweet smile…

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll stay with you as long as you need me too”