#sorry I only took like two shitty process pics for this one
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bandaidfingers · 1 year ago
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The Miner/ Harry Warden
🔪✨My Bloody Valentine✨🔪
My next Sparkle Slasher! The original 1981 version is so superior, but the 2009 remake is also alright for laughs.
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sleepysnk · 4 years ago
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hey y'all! i decided to make a fic for our lovely Jean boy. i got this idea after Sunday's episode :(, he deserves so much love right now. this is the longest fic i've written, so i hope you all enjoy! ♡
Close the Gap
Pairings: Jean Kirstein x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 6.8k
Warnings: None just fluff
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Long distances relationships were always something many people tended to avoid. 
The idea of a long distance relationship made (Y/N) feel queasy, her stomach would always churn at the idea of dating somebody who was miles away from her. She heard the many scary stories from her friends about these people not being who they said they were, or the horror stories of girls going missing after meeting with these people. 
Not to mention she always binged watched MTV'S Catfish the TV Show at 3 A.M. watching how people would get catfished. The show was another reason why she tended to avoid dating anyone who was pretty far away. Her worst fear was to find that the person she trusted wasn't who they said they were. 
That all changed seven months ago when she met him. 
More specifically, Jean Kirstein.
(Y/N) was feeling pretty lonely, she was desperate for a relationship at the time and her best friend Sasha told her about some dating apps she could use. She wasn't exactly down to set her up with one of her friends. (Y/N) took the offer on the dating app and set up a profile. 
She met a few decent guys, but they always ended up sending the usual "send me some pics" or "u down to hook up?" texts. Most of the guys on the apps were idiots who were looking just for a quick fuck or something short term, which isn't something (Y/N) wanted. 
She complained to Sasha about it and even considered just deleting the apps, but she told her to just give it one more shot. 
She was glad she did. 
(Y/N) was swiping through the different guys on the app. Some caught her eye or some made her face scrunch with disgust. 
Her swiping stopped when her eyes landed on him. She was instantly attracted to him, his sharp jawline, shaggy light brown hair which was a bit long, his golden brown eyes, toned chest and that goddamn smile. He had a sly smile that made her feel butterflies. 
After she looked at his profile she was hooked. He seemed like a really sweet guy based on his description. He knew how to cook, draw, he played sports, worked out, etc. He also seemed really sweet as well. 
She was tempted to text him first, but she decided not to. The few times she did message a guy first it ended with the guy being dry, or sending some gross messages complimenting her body rather than her face. 
She totally forgot that day that she added him until she got the notification. 
Jean: hey! i saw your profile and let me just say you are gorgeous ❤
From that day forward the two talked every night, they spent many nights texting until they both felt tired, exchanging social media as well. She learned a lot about him, Jean was a fitness major at his university and he wanted to be a personal trainer. They connected on a lot of things, they had a lot of the same likes and dislikes which made the conversations they had even greater. 
She told Jean about the many shitty experiences she had with guys and how she was very hesitant to even give him a chance. Jean shared a lot of the same stories, he had gotten cheated on about a year prior before getting the app. (Y/N) felt bad for him, why cheat on a nice guy like Jean?
Facetiming him was definitely one of her favorite things to do, she told him about how freaked out she was about trying online dating due to how easy it was to fake an online personality. Jean assured her that was not the case and he wasn't a fake person at all. 
Seeing his face on facetime made her heart swell, he was 10x more attractive on facetime than his photos. He had this amazing smile that made her feel weak, and whenever he laughed she found herself having butterflies. Jean thought the same about (Y/N), he thought she was absolutely gorgeous and he wanted to see her face a lot more. 
He always threw a flirt her way whenever he could, Jean was smooth like that. He told her if she was ever unsure of an outfit that she was to send him a picture, and when she did, he was absolutely speechless. Sending the usual heart eyes and telling her how beautiful she was. His words always made her smile. 
While things were perfect for them, there was one small issue. 
They both lived very far from each other. 
Opposite coasts to be exact. 
Jean lived on the East coast while (Y/N) lived on the west. They lived miles away from each other, and although it wasn't a huge bother, it always made her feel lonely. 
Jean felt the same way, he felt lonely being so far away from her. Parts of him wished he lived closer so he could just drive and see her, but with how far it is, he knew it would probably be a very long drive and he just didn't have the time for that. Nor did (Y/N).
They spent many nights talking about dates they'd go on, things they'd do, etc. Jean told her how he would so make a meal for her and he'd take her to meet his mom. All those things sounded so nice, she wanted it to happen so bad.
But they just lived too far from one another.
Plus they both had very busy schedules, both were too caught up with assignments and their own personal lives that flying out wouldn't be exactly a good idea. 
It was unfortunate, but that was the reality of the situation. 
Even with all of that, they still held onto one another. For some reason, Jean didn't want to let her slip by. For the first time, she made him genuinely happy. (Y/N) felt the same way towards Jean, she always found herself being excited to see his name pop up in her phone or when he asked to facetime. There was just something about this boy she didn't want to let go of. He was the only guy who saw her for who she was, and not just her body. 
Neither of them wanted to let this opportunity slip by.
-
Here they were, seven months later. They still kept up with each other every day, though having not met yet, the feelings they both had never changed. 
They weren't dating, but they only talked to each other. Neither had wandering eyes. 
It was a usual night for the two of them, (Y/N) and Jean were on facetime while she did homework and Jean sat playing video games. She didn't mind the gaming, it was something he liked to do so why dislike it?
She was copying notes when her eyes averted upwards towards her phone screen which was propped up. Jean was shirtless sitting in his chair, he had his headset on his head with one of the earmuffs behind his ear. He was focused on the game, his brows pinching together a few times as he played. 
A giggle escaped her lips, making Jean look down at his phone with a smile. 
"What are you giggling about?" he asked, bringing his face close to the camera. 
She smiled. "Oh nothin' you just look really cute playing your game," she replied and set her pen down on the desk. 
He licked his lips and leaned back against his chair, eyeing the screen. "I'd say you look pretty damn fine doing homework," he replied, raising his brows.
Heat rushed to her cheeks, rolling her eyes in the process. "Ugh shush! I look like a total mess," she said and looked away from the screen. 
Jean chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair. "Nah.. you look like the girl who's gonna have my last name," he replied, smirking. 
Her jaw dropped from his comment, a smile grew onto her lips as her cheeks felt hot. He was smooth like that. 
"You are quite smooth," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. 
Another chuckle escaped his throat. "Yeah I'm smooth.. only for you though," he said, winking at the camera. 
"You're adorable.. I wish you were here so I could squeeze your cheeks," she said and played with her pen. 
Jean nodded. "I wish I was there with you too.." he said, looking down at the ground. "I'd like my cheeks squeezed but I'd want to squeeze yours.. if you know what I mean," he added. 
She started laughing a bit. "Ugh Jean I never get tired of you," she replied, looking at her phone screen. "Will you ever be here?" she asked.
Jean fell silent and leaned back against the chair. A sigh escaping his lips. "I have no idea (Y/N).. my schedule has been busy lately, plus I don't really have the funds to fly out anytime soon." he replied, his voice filled with disappointment.
She felt a slight tug at her heart, she knew they probably wouldn't meet for a long time. Many of her friends told her that Jean wasn't worth her time at all and that she needed someone who could come see her. Her friends also said it's not worth it at all and that he'd probably end up hooking up with some girl, and totally forgetting about her. That's something she absolutely didn't want to think about.
"(Y/N)? You alright?" Jean asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.
She shook her head, blinking a few times. "Y-Yeah! Sorry, I zoned out.." she replied and smiled a bit.
He put his controller on his desk, he stared at the screen for a few moments. "You know (Y/N) I really want to meet you, trust me I do. I know how much it bothers you that we can't at the moment, but I promise you, we will meet some day." he said with a serious expression. 
She felt her heart swell at his words, Jean always knew what to say to make her feel like a princess. Jean always said from day one that they would meet, it was a promise he had yet to fulfill, but he told her to never worry and that he'll make it happen. She just has to believe him. 
"I trust your words Jean," she said, smiling a bit.
A grin grew onto his face. "Ugh.. this is why I want to meet you so bad. I wanna see that pretty smile in person," he said and leaned against his desk. 
Her cheeks felt hot from his words. "You're too sweet," she replied, rolling her eyes playfully. 
Jean chuckled. "Sweet enough for you,"
Suddenly, (Y/N) heard her bedroom door fly open. 
"Hey (Y/N)!- Oh crap.. did I interrupt something?" 
Her head snapped back to see her best friend Sasha standing in the doorway. 
"Oh not at all Sash, I was just talking to Jean." (Y/N) replied, looking back at the camera. 
Sasha grinned widely, she knew who he was ever since they started talking. Jean was cool with her, he felt like first impressions with friends are always important. 
"Hey Jean!" Sasha yelled, coming down to her phone. "Ooo.. (Y/N) he's shirtless for you," she teased, elbowing her side. 
Her jaw dropped as her cheeks grew hot again. "Can you not! Why are you even here anyway?" she asked, looking up at her friend. 
"Uh duh, I'm here to discuss Valentine's Day plans! You know.. Connie and stuff," she replied in a whisper. 
(Y/N) rolled her eyes playfully. "Ugh fine! Hey Jean, is it cool if I call you back later? Sash here needs boy advice," she asked, grabbing her phone. 
Jean smiled. "Yeah totally.. text me okay? Be safe." he replied. 
She felt a wide smile grow onto her cheeks. "I most definitely will!" she said, hanging up the call. 
Sasha leaned against the wall with a giant smirk on her face. (Y/N) looked up, her head nodding as she was confused as to why she was acting like that. 
"What?" she asked, furrowing her brows. 
A giggle escaped Sasha's lips. "Oh nothing! Ugh (Y/N)! When are you finally going to meet Jean? Have you guys even made it official yet?" she asked. 
She looked down. "No.. we haven't made it official. We aren't dating Sasha, we're just talking and stuff." she replied, shrugging her shoulders. 
Sasha crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe it's time you do it! You've been talking for months, and I feel like it's a good time. Especially with Valentine's Day and all," she said. 
(Y/N) wasn't sure if what Sasha was saying was a good idea. How the hell would she even ask out Jean? Over a facetime call? That sounded boring. It also sounded too cliche and not special at all. 
"I would Sash but asking him out over a phone just sounds so.. middle school," she replied and stood up. "It's not like I can fly out and ask him out or whatever," she added. 
A grin was displayed onto Sasha's face. "I guess you're right," she said and shrugged her shoulders. 
"Now come on… let's go discuss things for Connie," (Y/N) said, pushing past her. 
Sasha grinned again, following her friend. 
-
(Y/N) spent most of the week helping Sasha with her Valentine's Day gift for Connie. Sasha had some odd ideas, but eventually they came to an agreement on a decent idea. 
For some reason, things felt off with Jean.
The past few days she noticed a change in his behavior, he became a little less interested in their conversations and his replies were a bit dry. Of course she blamed it on him maybe being tired from classes or working out, but she wasn't exactly sure if that was the reason. She questioned it a few times, but Jean usually replied with a 'wym?'.
"(Y/N)!? Hello? Come on help me finish this," 
Sasha's voice broke her out of the thoughts she was having. "Sorry! What's up?" she asked, blinking a bit. 
Sasha put the bag of snacks down. "Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting weird all day," she said and crossed her arms. 
(Y/N) sighed. "Yes I'm fine Sasha," she replied and leaned back in her chair.
She nodded her head and sat back down in front of her. "Alright.. can you just organize this for me?" she asked, tossing the bag towards her. 
(Y/N) grabbed the stuff and began to sort through the items Sasha bought Connie. She wasn't exactly alright, she was feeling lonely the past few days. She saw all of her friends getting ready for Valentine's Day with their significant others, while she didn't have anybody. The pink and red boxes of chocolates, the teddy bears, roses, everything! It made her feel lonely and with Jean's behavior… it didn't exactly make it better.
She looked at her phone which displayed no messages from Jean. For some reason he hasn't been messaging her a lot lately. 
2:31 P.M.<- (Y/N): hey :)) 
4:23 P.M.<- (Y/N): i hope your day is going well! ♡
She sighed and went back to the gift for Connie. 
"What are you doing for Valentine's Day, (Y/N)?" Sasha asked and looked up at her. 
She shrugged her shoulders. "Probably just watching Netflix movies," she replied with disappointment in her voice. 
She nodded her head. "What!? No! You're not gonna do that on my watch. Why don't you come hangout with Connie and I?" she asked. 
A laugh escaped her lips. "Yeah I so wanna do that. Watching you two make out and eat is so much fun," she replied in a teasing voice. 
Sasha blushed. "Oh shut up! Come on.. I know you won't have anyone to hang with," she said and pouted a bit. 
She rolled her eyes playfully. "I can always call up Eren or something," she said and laughed a bit. 
Sasha hit her arm. "No! You're hanging with me and that's final! Plus why would you wanna hangout with Eren? He'd probably take you to some party," she said. 
"Yeah you're probably right," (Y/N) replied, chewing her lip. 
She threw her a smile. "Exactly!" she said and went to go look at her phone. 
(Y/N) looked on her own phone as she felt disappointed seeing no messages from Jean. She hated double texting him, she felt like she was a bother and that she was annoying him. Maybe he just didn't have his phone on him. 
A sudden squeal came from Sasha, which made (Y/N) look up in surprise.
"Uh.. are you okay?" she asked and blinked a bit. 
Sasha looked at her, composing herself. "Oh- u-um! Yeah totally, Connie was just telling me something. That's all," she replied and looked down at her phone. 
She rolled her eyes playfully. "Ugh Connie.." she said, shaking her head. 
-
The next two days were kind of difficult for (Y/N). Jean had totally changed his behavior, he was more dry, took longer to respond, and even on their facetime call he didn't seem very interested. If she did want to facetime, he would claim he was busy or he didn't exactly seem to pay attention. 
Her mind raced with different thoughts about the situation. What if Jean was getting tired of her? What if this was the situation all of her friends told her about? How guys who live far end up leaving you for someone who lives near them. It hurt to think about. 
"I don't know his behavior just changed!" 
She was currently ranting to Sasha who came over for a bit. "He's been dry? I mean.. Connie can be dry," she replied, playing with her pillow. 
"No like overly dry, Jean is never dry! He always keeps the conversation going, he doesn't even send me good morning texts anymore either!" she said and sat up. 
Sasha nodded as she listened to her words. "Have you tried asking at all?" she asked. 
(Y/N) sighed. "I did on facetime and he sort of dodged the question," she replied. 
"I dunno (Y/N).. maybe just see what happens? Maybe he's got some personal stuff going on" Sasha said. 
(Y/N) shrugged. "Couldn't say.." 
A sudden ping from Sasha's phone made her ears chirp, she reached over and looked at her phone. She started jumping around excitedly. 
"What? What happened?" (Y/N) asked, furrowing her brows. 
Sasha looked at her. "I gotta go! Connie texted me about something.. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" she said, shoving her phone in her pocket. 
She felt confused as to why Sasha was leaving. "Uh.. yeah, okay. See you later," she replied and watched as Sasha exited her room and out the front door. 
She flopped onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as her mind clouded with thoughts about Jean. Her mind was playing scenarios she didn't want to see, Jean finding someone else would absolutely crush her. In a way, it would be for the best, considering they haven't even met, but she was in too deep with feelings. She didn't want anybody else. 
She grabbed her phone, she opened their messages and scrolled to see if there was anything she could have said to make him upset. Jean was always one to communicate with her, he'd always tell her if he was having a bad day or someone pissed him off. Why wasn't he doing that now? Her eyes scanned over the most recent message she sent.
7:21 P.M.<- (Y/N): did you go working out? i bet you're getting those gains! <3 lol.
Another sigh escaped her lips reading the words 'delivered'. What was going with him? 
-
It was Valentine's Day. 
(Y/N) wasn't exactly in the best mood today, that feeling of loneliness lingered in her mind as she scrolled through different couples getting gifts and going on special dates. All the things she yearned for. 
She sent Jean a message that morning and of course, he didn't respond. He read her messages from the previous night, but he never sent a genuine response. It made her heart feel heavy, maybe this was it. Maybe Jean just got tired of waiting around for her and found someone better. 
She shoved her phone into her pocket as she knocked on the door of Sasha's apartment. She looked around as many people exited their apartments. 
"Hey! You made it! We have all kinds of snacks!" Sasha yelled, opening the door so she could come inside. 
(Y/N) smiled and stepped in. The aroma of food filled her nose. "Wow Sasha.. this smells great," she said, taking off her shoes. 
Connie came in from the living room holding a plate. "Hey (Y/N)! Good to see you," he said and waved at her. 
She smiled as she plopped down at the kitchen table, she grabbed a few pieces of candy and tossed them into her mouth. She tried to forget the upsetting thoughts for the night. 
"You want something to eat?" Sasha asked as she came over with a plate of food. 
(Y/N) shook her head. "I'm fine.. thank you Sasha," she replied, looking down at the table. 
Connie came over and set a cup of soda in front of her. "Have something to drink at least," he said and sat next to Sasha. 
She swirled around the soda that bubbled towards the top. "Thanks.." she replied and took a sip of the lemon flavored soda. 
The two started eating and (Y/N) sat there looking at her phone, she silently hoped that Jean would message her back. It had been a few hours since she sent her last message, she felt disappointment going through her veins. She guessed that Jean was ghosting her, it hurt a ton, but there wasn't much she could do. 
"(Y/N)! Connie loved the gift!" Sasha said and wiped her mouth with the napkin. 
She nodded and gave a small smile. "Oh that's cool! I'm glad you liked it," she replied and looked towards Connie. 
He smiled. "Yeah it was dope! It had all my favorite snacks," he said, looking at Sasha with a grin.
(Y/N) felt the heaviness in her heart, she wished someone would look at her the way Connie looked at Sasha. 
"Hey what about that Jean guy you were talking to? I meant to ask," Connie asked and looked at her. 
She laughed a bit. "Uh.. well I don't know what's going on with that. He's been kind of distant lately so I guess he's getting tired of me. It's understandable I guess.." she replied, looking down at the floor. 
They could hear the sorrow in her voice. "I'm sorry (Y/N).. you'll find someone, I know you will." Sasha said.
She shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know guys.. I feel like after this I just wanna focus on me," she said, taking out her phone.
Connie looked over at her. "Don't say that now.. come on, have some hope." he said and gave a playful smile. 
She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'll try," she replied. 
Sasha and Connie finished up their food and cleaned the dishes, (Y/N) sat on the couch as the movie played on the tv. It was some romantic movie which she didn't even bother to pay attention to, she didn't exactly want to watch one at the moment. 
Sasha appeared in the living room, she had her phone in her hand. "Hey whatcha doing?" she asked, leaning over to look at her phone. 
"Oh nothing, just scrolling through Instagram," (Y/N) replied and clicked her phone off. 
A ping went off as Sasha got a notification, she looked at her phone as a grin displayed on her features making (Y/N) curious. 
"Did Connie send you nudes in the bathroom or something?" she asked and began to laugh.
A blush crept onto Sasha's cheeks. "What!? Absolutely not! You're so gross (Y/N)!" she yelled, hitting her arm. "Let's play a game, I'm bored." she added and stood up.
(Y/N) nodded. "A game? Sasha I'm not twelve.." she said and leaned against the couch. 
Sasha came in with what seemed to be a blindfold. "Come on! It's fun okay? You just have to feel something and guess what it is," she said, crossing her arms. 
"A blindfold? Jeez Sash.. didn't know you and Connie were into blindfolds," she said, starting to laugh. 
Sasha hit her arm playfully. "Shut up! No I'm not into blindfolds.. you're gross! Just come here," she said and waved her over.
(Y/N) stood up and tossed her phone onto the couch. She walked over to Sasha who seemed excited to play, she hoped that this game wouldn't be weird.
"Alright.. let's get started," Sasha said, going behind her to tie the blindfold over her eyes. 
She faintly heard the sound of the front door opening, she was confused as to who came in. Then she remembered Connie went to go throw out the garbage, so she figured it was Connie coming back in. 
"Okay first thing!" Sasha said and held out the item for her to touch. 
(Y/N)'s fingers brushed over the item, it felt cold. It felt like plastic too, was it a box? It felt smooth.
"Is this like.. a box or something?" she asked, looking around with the blindfold on. 
She heard giggles and laughs coming from Connie and Sasha. "Yeah it's a box! Here's the next item," Sasha said.
Her fingers brushed over the soft material, it felt velvety and smooth. It felt like petals from a flower. 
"Are these flowers?" she asked. 
"Damn (Y/N)! You're good at this! Here's the last thing," Connie said, his voice sounding faded. 
She furrowed her brows as she heard whispering and shuffling, she was tempted to remove the blindfold to see if they were playing a prank.
"Okay here," Sasha said. 
She reached out feeling something hard, it felt like.. a chest? Her brows furrowed again as she ran her fingers along it. 
"Sasha is this your chest? Connie is definitely not this muscular," (Y/N) asked, looking around for their voices. 
Sasha giggled. "No it's not me! You can take your blindfold off in a sec," she said, taking out her phone. 
(Y/N) felt nervous as she kept her hands on the person's chest, they felt warm and she could feel their heart racing against her skin. 
"Okay now!" Sasha yelled. 
(Y/N) removed her blindfold, letting her eyes adjust. When she looked up she was faced with the honey eyes of the person she least expected. 
It was Jean.
Her jaw dropped as her hands slapped over her mouth, she couldn't believe it. He held in his hands flowers and a box of chocolate, the flowers being her favorite. Roses. He stood there smiling at her reaction, she looked back seeing Sasha recording and Connie laughing.
"You're real.." (Y/N) said, looking at Jean with wide eyes. 
He smiled. "I'm real," he replied, opening his arms for her. 
She tackled him with a bone crushing hug, his arms wrapping around her waist surrounding her in his embrace. She inhaled his scent and let his warmth engulf her. 
Tears welled in her hues as she put her hands onto his face. "Pinch me please.." she said and laughed a bit. 
Jean chuckled, cupping her cheek. "I don't think you're dreaming," he replied, pulling her closer. 
"This is so cute I feel like a proud mom," Sasha said as she kept recording. 
(Y/N) looked back. "H-How? How did you get him here?" she asked and nodded. 
Connie rubbed the back of his neck. "We actually were both in on it, we paid for his ticket and everything. He's staying at my place actually," he said, smiling at her. 
"Sasha planned the game too," Jean added and looked towards the brunette. 
(Y/N) pulled Sasha into a tight hug. "I literally love you right now," she said as a few tears escaped down her cheeks. 
"Uh (Y/N)! I think you should be the one telling him that," Sasha said, pointing at Jean. 
She came back over to Jean who handed her the flowers. "Someone as beautiful as you are deserves these in person. Happy Valentine's Day beautiful," he said, smiling down at her. 
She laughed as she took the flowers, her heart swelling. "Thank you really.." she replied, pulling him into another hug. 
He put his arms around her, he felt his heart flutter as he felt her touch. "Do you want to..?" 
"Get out of here?" she asked, nodding. 
The two looked back at Sasha and Connie. "Knock yourselves out! Don't have too much fun (Y/N).." Connie said and smirked devilishly.
Heat rushed onto her cheeks. "I'd like to say the same to you both," Jean said, putting his arm around her shoulder. 
Connie and Sasha both turned red. "Okay! Bye Jean and (Y/N)! Have fun!" Sasha said and ran out of the room. 
They both turned to one another, laughs escaping both of their lips. "Let's go," she said, fishing around her pockets for her car keys. 
Jean followed her out of Sasha's apartment building to her car, his hands brushing over her fingers a few times making her cheeks hot. 
Once in the car, she began the drive back to her apartment. She couldn't keep her eyes off Jean, he looked so much better in person. All of his features stood out, his jawline, his hair, and his amazing eyes. 
"You know.. you're 100x more beautiful in person," Jean said, breaking the silence between them. 
She smiled. "Thank you… you're 100x more handsome," she replied and looked over at the passenger side. 
Jean felt his cheeks grow red from her words. "I never thought in a million years I'd meet you this soon," he said and leaned back in his seat. 
She laughed a bit. "I could say the same.. Sasha told me nothing about this," she replied, turning the steering wheel.
A chuckle erupted in his throat. "It was meant to be kept secret. Connie and Sasha both messaged me about it and I was in," he said.
"I thought you were ghosting me at first.. I was so bummed at her house,"
Jean looked over at her. "Oh never.. I'd never ghost you. Connie told me to just put distance so it wouldn't seem weird," he said, brushing his fingers over her arm.
Tingles ran around her body as he touched her. "I should have known something was up," she said and shook her head. "Anyway, we're here." she added, taking off her seatbelt. 
Jean exited the car with her. He followed her up the stairs to her apartment. She opened the door and removed her shoes, Jean stepped in and eyed the room. She kept it clean and organized. 
"Nice place," Jean said and smiled at her. 
She looked back at him. "Oh thank you.. it means a lot," she replied, placing his gifts on the counter. 
The two stood there for a moment just taking in their appearances. She felt her heart racing as Jean stood there eyeing her. 
"So um.. what do you wanna do?" Jean asked, looking down at her. 
She leaned against the wall. "I dunno.. maybe we can watch a movie in bed?" she asked, nodding.
"Sounds like a plan.. I gotta call Connie. He needs to drop my shit off in the morning if I'm sleeping here," he said and took out his phone. 
(Y/N) rocked on her heels. "Sounds good! Um.. I'll be right back, I'm gonna change." she replied and made her way to her room.
Jean texted Connie and within seconds he responded with an 'ok'. He walked towards the room where (Y/N) was, her room was decorated nicely. She knew how to keep it clean. He noticed the familiar sights he used to see on facetime. 
She came from the bathroom wearing shorts and a t-shirt. "Come sit," she said and hopped on her bed. 
Jean felt stiff, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable or make any moves that were too quick. 
"So uh… what kind of movie do you wanna watch?" he asked, looking at her nervously. 
"Hmm.. horror?" she replied, looking back at him as she turned on the tv. 
He nodded. "Sounds like a plan," he said and leaned back against the pillows on her bed. 
She put on one of the horror movies and lied down next to him, her hands brushed over his arm veins. She traced lines where his muscles were. Goosebumps littered onto his skin feeling her touch. 
"Don't be so stiff.. you aren't going to hurt me," (Y/N) said leaning up a bit. 
He felt his nerves loosen up at her words. "Sorry.. I just don't wanna come off as a creep," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. 
She giggled, moving his arm so it was now around her waist. "You aren't a creep to me at all," she said, laying her head on his chest. 
Jean's grip on her waist tightened as he brought her body closer to his. He imagined nights like these for so long, his arms around her holding her close so she never slips away. 
She felt so warm next to him. 
As the night went on, (Y/N) felt her eyes become droopy. She started to snooze against his chest, Jean smiled hearing her small snores and the way she twitched. He turned off the lamp and pulled the covers over the two of them. 
-
The next morning Jean was awoken by (Y/N) moving out of his embrace. Her eyes trying to get used to the light that shone into her room, she grabbed her phone, the time reading 10:12 A.M. 
She turned over to look at Jean who was awake. A giggle escaped her lips as she cuddled back into him. 
"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she said and traced his muscles with her fingers. 
He squeezed the flesh of her waist. "Don't worry about it," he replied and lied his chin onto her head. "What do you wanna do today, beautiful?" he asked.
She sighed. "Do you wanna just relax and chill? We don't have to go anywhere," she replied, looking up at him. 
"Sounds fine by me," Jean said, staring up at the ceiling. 
The two lied there for a few minutes before deciding to get dressed and ready for the day, Jean noticed his suitcases were at the front door. (Y/N) told him that Sasha had a spare key so she most likely stopped by while they were asleep. It made him laugh but also a little weirded out. 
They both changed and lied around (Y/N)'s place, they took many photos together and goofed off. She never felt happier than she did in those moments, Jean didn't want to stop touching her. He loved feeling her smooth skin against his, he held her hand or brushed against her arm. Not in a creepy way of course. 
It was around 6:30 in the afternoon, Jean and (Y/N) messed around in her apartment for most of the day. Watching movies, ordering food, taking photos, etc. It had been an amazing day. 
"Hey Jean.." (Y/N) said, reaching up to play with the strands of his hair. 
He looked down at her. "What's up?" he asked. 
She smiled. "Do you wanna go to the pier near my house? We can watch the sunset," she asked, nodding her head. 
His face lit up with excitement. "Hell yes! Let's go right now," he replied. 
The two rushed out of the apartment and went to her car, the sun was going to set pretty soon, so they wanted to get to the pier at a decent time to see it all. 
The car ride was fun, the two blasted music and sang along with the words. 
Eventually, the two arrived at the pier. Many people walked along the sidewalks with each other, the summer air felt nice. Jean held her hand as they made their way up to the dock, some people leaned along the sides talking with one another. 
The sun shined onto their faces, Jean's honey eyes looked like pure gold as the sun passed through them. 
The tide from the waves crashed below them the seagulls flew in the sky or onto the ground. 
"It's so pretty.." (Y/N) said, smiling as she leaned against the railing staring at the setting sun.
Jean admired the sky as it was painted with purples and oranges. "Yeah.. but not as pretty as you are," he said and held her hand in his. 
She looked absolutely stunning to him. The way the sun shined over her skin and the way the wind lightly blew along her hair made his heart swell. 
She was truly the most beautiful girl he ever laid his eyes on. 
"I always imagined coming here with you.. it was my dream date," she said and smiled.
Jean took her hand into his. "Can I ask you something?" he asked. 
She looked up at him. "Of course Jean," she replied and brushed a few strands of hair out of his face. 
He let out a shaky breath. "(Y/N)... I never thought I'd ever get to meet you, but now that I have I realized how amazing you are. You're so beautiful.. don't even get me started on your smile either. You've made today so great and I've been meaning to ask you this question for so long. My feelings for you are strong and I can't imagine my life without you by my side," he said. "Will you be my girlfriend?" 
She felt her heart burst at his words, she couldn't deny what she felt for Jean. "Yes! Yes!" she replied, putting her arms around his neck. 
He smiled as he put his arms around her waist. "I love you.." he whispered. 
Her eyes went wide. "I love you too.." she said, leaning into his face and pressing her lips onto his. 
The kiss was passionate, his lips felt smooth and soft. It took her breath away. 
"I promise I'll make you feel like a princess," Jean said and cupped her cheek. "I'll never let you go," he added. 
She felt small tears form into her eyes. "I'll never let you go either," she said and smiled at him.
They stood there for awhile watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the clouds, the sky painted in bright oranges and dark blues. 
Arriving back home they both rushed up the stairs to her apartment. She unlocked it and pulled him into a heated kiss, the kiss feeling hot.
Jean made his way to the couch, his hands on her hips. "I didn't know you were this good of a kisser.." he whispered, smirking as he kissed her. 
"I guess we're both full of surprises," she replied and put her arms around his neck.
He sat down on the couch, her thighs on either side of his legs. "Wait.." Jean said, breaking the kiss between them. "I need to mention one more thing," he added, looking up at her. 
She nodded. "What's up?" she asked. 
He felt a smile grow onto his lips. "I know I leave in two days but.. I wanted to let you know that I was pricing apartments around here as well as schooling.. and I found out I got accepted," he said. 
Her jaw dropped hearing the news. "What!? No way! You're lying! Does that mean.." she said. 
"I won't be far away anymore my love," he replied, cupping her cheek. "It's gonna take awhile for me to move in, but I should be here by the end of next month." 
She felt excitement coursing through her. "That's great!" she said. 
"I mean it when I say it that I do love you (Y/N).. it's not me saying that to impress you, I truly do." he said, smiling at her. "I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I want a future with you," he added. 
She felt a smile grow onto her cheeks. "I love you too Jean… I want you with me forever," she said, running her fingers along his face. 
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips. "Your wish is granted baby," he said and pressed his lips against hers. 
She giggled, leaning down towards him. "What do you say we celebrate?" she asked, smirking. 
He eyed her hungrily. "Oh you wanna be like that huh? Consider it your special Valentine's Day treat," he replied, bringing her body close to his.
569 notes · View notes
madmadmilk · 5 years ago
Text
One After The One PART 2 | Tom Holland x Reader
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Tinder BIO | soft TEASER | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | >>
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: If a fool knows they’re a fool, are they really a fool? (The answer is yes.) You weigh the pros and cons of meeting T, Blurry Boy, Tom-Holland-Imposter, but curiosity tips the scales.
Warnings: Cursing, Suspicion, some Hard to Swallow Pills, and a million blurry pics
Word Count: 6K grains of sand in your boots
-
“... What?”
You throat ran dry, and you’d be lying if several things didn’t just suddenly click in your mind. The pictures, or lack of pictures. “T.” His bio. It makes all makes total sense, and then it totally doesn’t.
 None of that it made it any easier to believe the words coming out of her mouth.
“I… I think he’s using pictures of Tom Holland,” your friend exhales, repeating herself slowly.
This can’t be happening. You feel your brows furrow and face fall–– unsure of what to say or how to feel.
Tom Holland on Tinder? 
No fucking way.
“... Who..? How..?” you reach up to scratch your eyebrow, hoping to stir up something to deflect her suggestions.
“You know, Spider-Man? We just watched him in that movie?” Liza starts slowly, then pretends to shoot webs, nearly bumping into her drink. “Thwip-thwip, yeah?”
You begin frown and shake your head, you wave away her hands.
“Yeah, uhm, yeah I know who he is. But there’s no way that’s––“
She gives you a knowing and cautious looking, tilting her head towards you in question. Her lower lip juts out and she pulls out her phone. You can assume she’s looking up pictures of the actor, and soon enough she has some glamour shot of him in a maroon suit.
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He had glasses on. The same ones in that goddamn picture he had sent the other day.
That’s not...
You hold your phone search through your chats, scrolling past conversations and laughs, looking for that one picture. Your heads rest together as you swipe up slowly to show her the picture of him that he had sent… the one with the glasses.
There’s no way––
 But you don’t say anything, solely waiting for her confirmation or denial.
“Friendly neighborhood romantic…” Liza mutters softly as she holds both phones closer to herself. “Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man…”
You take it from her and zoom in; sure enough, all those details fall into place.
Fuck.
You blink, comparing the smiles. They look identical.
But?
But Tom Holland is a A-list actor, smiley, pretty, bright and out of reach. You can’t even entertain the idea of meeting a ~celebrity~ through a shitty fucking dating app–– a hook-up one at that. It just doesn’t happen.
And the thought of him wanting to spend time with you?
“No… that’s not right,” you finally manage to say. “Uhm. It can’t be Tom.”
Upon saying that out loud, you catch yourself. You find yourself believing that it could have been him. So, it’s hard to say which part you were denying.
Liza does the critical thinking for you.
“I’m sorry, babe. This guy is lying to you.”
Liza looks at you with her big brown eyes, and you can see a little bit of pity. She nods slowly and turns away, leaving you with two phones in your hands and doubt in your heart. 
“He’s using Tom Holland’s pictures, he’s not telling you the truth, and he’s not… offering you anything else about himself. You know?”
What?
You had gotten so comfortable with the idea of him, of “T.” Of “Blurry Boy,�� his own person... and not with the reality of who he could be and what he’s doing to you.
The reality that he’s still really fucking suspicious, a stranger whose life and intentions you don’t actually know.
He’s definitely not Tom Holland, regretfully, and he’s probably not like any of the pictures he’s posted–– blurry, edited, whatever. And the conversations? Maybe it’s all a persona.
You don’t know a single thing about him.
Oh…
It stings more than you thought it would, even when you knew this was already a shaky start.
Liza watches you press your tongue to the side of your cheek, processing this with no argument or fight left. She feels bad having told you outright, but you both know that it’s what you would have wanted. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
She hugs your shoulders, as you slide her phone back towards her.
You let her hold you as you try to let the shame and shock pass.
Your phone pings softly on the table.
You read the message as it glows on your screen. You scoff as soon as you check it, because who else could it be?
BB: I bet you forgot to watch the episode lol
No.
You forgot you shouldn’t trust him.
-
BB: ?
BB: Hello?
BB: Hey, sorry idk if you’re busy or something right now. Just wondering how you were
BB: 👀
BB: Sorry, did I do something to make you mad?
Yes–– no. Yeah, kinda.
You pull down your phone screen, musing over the fact that more messages might appear. He’s sent something new every few hours since your talk with Liza earlier that day.
God, you’re glad you don’t have your read receipts on.
You spend some time lazing around in bed, hair up and out of your face, your pants crumpled and kicked on the floor nearby. You suck in your cheeks as you pick up your phone.
You’ve been cycling through social media all day–– not looking at anything in particular, but definitely avoiding texts from You Know Who.
You know what the messages say, you know that he’s wondering where you are and what you’re doing, but how do you face him after your fatal revelation with Liza? How do you recover? Well, you start by sorting out your buzzing thoughts….
First, you feel fucking embarrassed. There’s a burning, nauseous heat on your face, all because you didn’t realize those pictures were SO obviously fake, and that you were kinda into Whoever He Is.
Second, you feel righteous anger, for being dragged around even though he promised. Ha ha ha. He’s one hundred percent a stranger on the internet, alright. And you’re a fool for letting yourself get strung along.
But him using pictures of a well-known, well-loved, heavily-adored celebrity?? Isn’t that, like, really fucking bold? Embarrassing even?
(Almost as embarrassing as you not noticing this, but you don’t let yourself dwell on that part for too long)
The angel on your shoulder reasons that, “maybe he’s still the same person underneath this facade–– he just looks nothing like what he has posted. You could still like him no matter what he looked like, right?”
While the devil swoops in with some hard facts, laughing in pity, “A guy or person who conceals themselves with lies is not worth keeping at all.”
And in this case, you have to agree with that flaming hot truth. You’re ready to fold those fleeting feelings, shove them in a box, and kick ‘em to the curb along with that inner monologue–– but as you said in the very beginning… if you knew you were being fooled from the start, are you really getting hurt?
The goblin of curiosity pulls at your sleeve and offers this funny sentiment, “Knowing this and talking to him should be fine if you establish the fact that you know that ‘this’ isn’t real.”
And that’s where you are now, staring at your phone, at the multitude of double, triple, quadruple texts that have accumulated through the day. You exhale, and draft up a frail response.
You: hey, sorry. I was busy
His answer comes almost too soon even while you were approaching the later hours of a long day.
BB: Hey!, no, no it’s okay. Sorry if i freaked out, I was just worried
You: what, you missed me?
BB: something like that. You’re definitely the best reason I’m checking my phone nowadays, besides work
You: how sweet
BB: actually, I took your advice. I turned on Do Not Disturb at like 9. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders
You: that’s great!
BB: well, I know there’s going to be a shit ton to read in the morning, and I’m still stressed about that. But I guess I’ll get used to it. Gotta save time for myself! 😤🙏(praying emoji)
You: definitely
BB: hey, are you okay? You seem distant
You: yeah, no. I’m fine. Just a little tired
BB: haha, you’re obviously not. Are you still out? Or back home now?
You: I’m back home, but it’s been a long day
BB: oh, okay! You should head to bed then. Talk to you later?
You: yeah, I guess I should
BB: good night! Sleep tight 😊 (blush smile emoji)
You: good night
-
The next day goes by with a few more one-sided text exchanges. “Blurry Boy” was really single-handedly carrying each of those conversations–– and while they’re interesting and you’re still replying, you find it hard to bring yourself to believe any of it. It has no real weight anymore, to your life or in application.
You can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s LYING to you. Straight to your fucking face.
You watch the conversations in the third person and are almost impressed with the lengths that he goes to keep up with the same story. No loss of momentum, the perfect amount of enthusiasm.
But by now, he must suspect something. The way he asks leading questions in an effort to get you to speak more. 
Unfortunately for him, you can’t help but be cold in response.
What you don’t realize, is that you want him to ask you what was wrong, one more time. You don’t realize that you want an opportunity to be mad. You want him to give you the chance to be. 
So, stop being so fucking nice, blurry boy.
Because you’re not fucking nice at all.
You ignore him for the evening, going out to run some errands so that your hands were actually busy. You silenced your phone as you wound down again for the night, only sparing it a glance at the last second.
There are a few messages waiting for you.
BB: hey, are we okay?
You: we?
BB: yeah, sorry if i’m jumping to conclusions but I’ve felt a little special here. If not, I get it. I’d just like to know
You: you’re definitely something
BB: what’s wrong?
You take a sharp inhale, tucking your hair behind your ears, and sitting up in bed to fully type out your feelings. Your opportunity to be angry is HERE, you can go off and spit words and fight–– 
You: you’re lying to me, right to my face. It was fine at first, but I still can’t wrap my head around why you’re doing this to me. It feels like we’re playing pretend and just ignoring the fact that there is NO TRUST here at all. I don’t know WHO you are and you haven’t given me any idea of who you could be! You’re using fake pictures and a fake name, and while it’s been fun… there’s nothing here. There’s nowhere “we” could go from here. If you want to continue, I’m going to need SOMETHING from you, if you expect anything from me
You drop your phone in your lap with a satisfying thump. You turn away, stretching and rolling your shoulders back in triumph.
Take that, “T.”
You shut your eyes as you imagine this mystery dude opening his phone to read out an arrow you’re shooting straight at this heart. (And it’s not the good kind). You can’t ignore that it hurts your own feelings it’s a little, not in a way that’s personal but…it’s hollowing. You didn’t know him personally, no, not at all, but a shade of it must have been real. There’s a real person in there, somewhere.
You see the message sit alone, untouched. There’s no bouncing dots like usual, no rapid silly response or praise or affection. And that’s annoying. And that’s annoying that that’s annoying.
But you got the last word in, so, what else can you ask for.
You nudge your phone further away, trying not to expect more. Siting in silence for a beat, pinching your cheeks. God, you hate this self-absorbed, attention-seeking behavior–– but you can’t help it.
You let out an exasperated whine, shaking your body to let go of the lingering vibes. You pick up your phone and snuggle back down into bed, ready to sleep after some idle scrolling. 
You’re ready to not have to worry about this thrilling 5-day experience, sure to be embarrassed about it later but… maybe you can make a story out of it. Though, that would only come after a long wink and the accompaniment of alcohol. God, you don’t even want to think about how Liza has probably already told K… Ugh!
PING!
You scramble as you hear the shrill bell tone. Your phone is bouncing in your hands as you half sit-up again. 
A message. 
You want to ignore it–– but who are you kidding.
BB: can i call you?
You stare at it. 
Is this an olive branch? Is he reaching out to you to show you that he really wants this? That he cares enough to finally share a fucking piece of himself?
Regardless, the call can only prove that he’s not the guy in the pictures. It’ll only show you that he’s just a guy. If that.
You rake your mind to remember what Tom Holland’s speaking voice sounded like, and immediately kick yourself for even thinking it could actually fucking be him. There’s just no fucking way. 
But let’s see how far off this guy is.
You: only for a second.
Your heart thuds unevenly as you prepare yourself–– only you have no idea what to expect. There’s nothing to go off of.
And within the minute that you sent your message, your phone rings. A blank contact comes up, “Blurry Boy” in white letters. You listen to the shrill ringtone, only picking up before it ends.
“Hey.”
There it is, his voice for the first time. It’s sleepy and thick, croaky even. He doesn’t sound like the squeaky and lively Tom Holland you knew from the silver screen. Though, it’s a stretch to even compare the two at all.
“Hey,” you speak demurely. Cool, calm, collected. And you wait. You want him to bring it up himself.
“What, not excited about our first call?”
Your face warms at his straightforwardness–– briefly crumbling under the pressure. Over text you could easily sort yourself out, but here…. you couldn’t hesitate.
“Well, I’m just glad you don’t sound like a 16 year-old boy.”
He laughs breezily, slightly muffled through the phone.
“Hahaha, I told you. I’m 23.”
“Mhm, well the way your voice cracked there really proves it.”
“Hey, come on now.” He laughs again, and you can hear rustling sheets and the faint chatter of music.
His laugh is quite pleasant, raspy and boyish. Familiar even. You want to imagine that he’s wooed by your maturity and confidence, by the way that a lull settles. But it’s more likely that he’s gathering his thoughts, or collecting his courage.
“This…. doesn’t prove anything,” you start slowly. You purse your lips, nervous ticks coming alive even through the phone.
For the moment, you feel shy, but shove it when you remember that he’s lying.
“I still don’t know who you are––“
“I know. I know, and I’m sorry–– I can’t tell you yet, but I trust you.”
“Yeah, you’ve said something like that before.”
”Uhm, yeah–– I… I wanted to call you to show you that I’m real and I care about you.... and I wanted to hear your voice too.”
There was sincerity there, but you don’t let yourself fall for it.
“But how long will it be before I get to see your real face? –– Without meeting you in a dark alley all alone.”
“Hm?”
“My friends are convinced that … you’re lying to me. In more ways that one. With the profile, with the pictures, the name.”
“Oh–– you told you friends–– uhm... Do you think I’m lying?”
“Maybe not all of it, but It’s a big world out there. And–– I don’t know.”
“But seeing my face would clear it up for you?”
He breathes deeply, and you can hear him clear his throat. The sheets rustle again.
“It’d be a start.”
“Mhm.”
“Make or break it, actually,” you manage to chuckle, offering him that relief. You wonder if physical attraction would be a big factor— like obviously, it would be something but…. you’ve come to know him as a person. So, do you care?
(The answer is yes, you do care, but poetically, you could enjoy his company just like this.)
BUT he is lying; if it’s not about one thing, it’s the other.
“It would definitely make me feeling a little bit better. To know that you’re not a monster under the bed, or some creep–– arguable but still.”
“I told you, I’m hot. You’ve got nothing to worry about,” he laughs with a bit of edge, treading the line.
You laugh too, tension easing. He seems like an easygoing guy, willing to be the butt of a joke with confidence.
“That has a totally different effect, hearing you say that out loud. It’s still weird.”
“Well, what do you think I look like? Based off–– based off what you have.”
“Well, I hardly have anything so…. I don’t know. I want to say ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’ but I’m pretty sure you have… fair skin, brown hair and… nice shoulders? That’s all I got.”
“You’re 3 for 3 so far.”
“You’re just saying that.”
Pause.
“Sorry it’s taking so long.”
“Yeah, you’re weird.”
You’ve already flipped the a million possibilities of who he could be. Nothing would even surprise you anymore. But listening to his soothing voice has calmed you like the way his words always have. The conversation flows over you, and you slide deep into your bed.
You pull the covers up over your shoulders, swimming in your thoughts. It shouldn’t be that hard to reveal himself, should it? You’re both investing time into this–– reckless and blind as it may be. You would need to know eventually. You’re not being unreasonable.
Right?
“If…. If I show you my face, properly, will you keep it a secret?” There’s an anxious tone in his light voice. Every syllable ended with uncertainty, as if he didn’t believe what he was saying.
“If you want…? Why?”
“I just… you just need to. Please?”
“Yeah, uhm, I can do that.”
“Thank you,” and there he lets out an airy sigh of relief. You hear rustling again, as if he fell back on the bed. Ha?
You laugh in excitement at his small promise, you rub your eye with your knuckle as you tease,
“What, are you a celebrity or something?”
“How did you know?”
“Hahaha, shut uppp, T. I’m joking–– I just want to match a proper face to the person I’m talking to,” your laugh trails off. You swallow softly, “I have your voice now, so… help me piece it together now, please?”
He stays silent, making you second guess the sincerity that you just showed him. Before you can take it back he starts slow and quiet,
“If I do tell you who I am, would you go on a date with me?”
Your heart squeezes, and your clench your toes. This should be no surprise or celebration, to be honest, this is the point of it all. To find love, or at least the next lay.
“Well, that depends if you’re my type,” coy, coy, play it coy.
“I’m everybody’s type.” His voice rolls, deep, rough, ringing in your ears.
You blink, your cheek lifting in a half pointed smile. You return his tone,
“Ok, well, then I dare you. Show me.”
“I will. Are you free on Friday–– Tomorrow?”
“Already setting up a date? You’re getting waaaay ahead of yourself, dude.”
Pause.
“But yeah, sure, I might be free tomorrow.”
“Great,” he laughs at your switching moods. You feel that heat on your face again, shutting your eyes tight, and he offers a bit more, 
“Meet me by the beach? 9 PM?”
You scoff softly, he’s pushing it. It’s a public space, kind of not. It’ll be cool, breezy, dark… secluded.
But you could easily let someone know where you’re gonna be, and when to expect you back. Fair enough?
“Hmmm, send me a picture of yourself and I’ll let you know if I can make it.”
“Huh?”
“Think of it as insurance. Or a sneak peak,” you laugh softly, turning your cheek to rub you nose against your pillow.
He lets out a long, dry chuckle, taking a deep breath. You can hear him settle and stretch himself out too, “First thing in the morning. And text me back.”
“Sure!”
“Then... I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Y/N. So lovely speaking to you.” His voice is so heavy and warm, so close to your ear.
You’re almost disappointed that he cut the conversation short. A dark cloud of doubt looms over; maybe he needs time to fabricate a believable photo, maybe he’s nervous, maybe he’s getting cold feet.
You stumble on on what to say as you snap yourself back–– the worrying could be saved for tomorrow. For now, you’ll both savor this short, sweet moment. 
“Likewise. Good night, Blurry Boy.” 
You hear him exhale softly, and pull the phone away from your ear. You look at it in your hands, feeling your lips purse. Your face is flushed hot, and your stomach flips in anticipation.
Tomorrow.
-
“No FUCKING way,”
You open your phone first thing in the morning and... low and behold… he actually fucking sent you a picture of Tom Holland. Like he really had the guts to fucking do it. 
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Come on, Blurry Boy.
This is not real. No way, no way, no fucking WAY.
You heart falls at the thought of losing this ~friendship~ or whatever it is. You put time into this and now its… kind of falling apart at the seams.
You hold your squished cheeks and spin on your heel, wondering if you should show it to Liza or Ry–– to share the incredulous feelings but… You remember The Promise.
It’s not that… big of a deal, especially since this scenario is fake as fuck, but you’d feel guilty. (damn.)
And also ashamed.
You straight up got fucking catfished.
Like he really had you in the snares.
There’s no way that he’s Tom Holland, and even if he “was” there’s no way that Tom would be in your city. And even though he’s a fucking liar–– keeping this a secret for another day or two… wouldn’t hurt anyone.
God.
You fall back onto your couch, legs hanging over the edge as you stare at the picture. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, wondering what to say…
The words come quick.
You: what the fuck, are you joking?
Come on, he had to be pulling your leg. Or expecting you to reply like that. You dont’ know what to think, especially when it takes him an hour or two to reply. Uncharacteristic of him.
BB: I’m really not
You: dude. Shut up. You’re not Tom Holland
BB: I am. And I can prove it. Come see me tonight, please
You have to scoff, nearly throwing your phone across the room. UHM, this has sirens and red flags written all over it. Akskdfdjhfad, like??? There aren’t even words to describe this frustration and obvious deceit.
You: Uhm, no no no. Call me right now
You were more than peeved now, honestly. He promised you honesty and some vulnerability, and this is just fucking stupid.
BB: I’m sorry, I really can’t. I’m out for work right now. Meetings all day. But I PROMISE you that I’m not lying.
Ok, funny. That’s exactly what a liar would say.
You don’t bother replying back, not sure what to even say besides, “Fuck you.” But you figure that silence might be more of a sting than any words you could conjure up.
How many tricks would you fall for? This is stupid, this isn’t fair. There’s nothing to redeem here, it’s over.
He can’t just drop a tremendous bombshell, and act like it’s real??
Who the fuck does he think he is?
There’s no way he’s fucking Spider-Man, dude.
There’s just no fucking way.
-
FRIDAY NIGHT, AROUND 6 PM
BB: So… what do you think? Will I see you later? 🤞 (fingers crossed emoji)
You: I can’t believe you’re still messaging me and making jokes. This is cruel, dude
BB: I know it seems crazy, but I’m not lying. I can explain everything! But in person would be the easiest way. I’m still running around the city, but meet me at 9
You: bullshit
BB: My name is Tom Holland. I’m taking a break in this city, and I’m looking for someone to spend time with. But I HAVE to lie low. And trust you and I want to see you and I want to spend time with you
You: You know this is fucking insanity right ?? I can’t trust you. 
BB: I know, I’m sorry. But I’ll answer anything you want if you come see me
You: i don’t know
BB: well, will i see you later tonight?
BB: let me know if you can make it. I’ll be there regardless but…
BB: Hope you see you there, Y/N.
You put your phone down squinting. You’re down for taking risks and meeting new people and trying new things–– but this whole thing is just wrong. This is too unreal to even entertain. No matter how many times you say it… It won’t sink in.
He says he can’t call, he can’t send anymore pictures, he can’t facetime–– what’s with the grand reveal and security clearance? 
He’s probably gonna eat your fucking face off, that’s why.
You look back at your feet, covered in fuzzy socks. Would you even get out of this blanket burrito to meet A Guy?
(Much less, a guy who definitely wants to wear your skin.)
It’s after classes and work and your social life, you don’t have anything planned for today. Your friends are off on dates with one another doing god knows what, and you’re at home comfy in your holey sweatpants with nothing but the warmth of your laptop and chatter of a TV show you haven’t been paying attention to.
Sigh.
There’s nothing to lose–– you chant over and over. Sometimes, that mentality is what gets you to move forward and try new things. Or gets you into trouble.
Haha.
We all know you’re going to get off your ass and go, but not before checking in with a few people. ‘Cos, you’re not entirely stupid.
“Time for a Tea Party,” you mumble to yourself. You resign to text the more rational of your friends, Liza and Ry. 
Liza has the perfect amount of encouragement and honesty, while Ryan has the best common sense and gives expert.
Sorry, K, you’re too protective and sorry, Sam, you’re way to fucking chaotic.
GC: TEA PARTY
Liza: Ur actually going to MEET HIM??? 😱
Ry: you said you weren’t going to get into trouble
You: is he trouble?? Is this bad??
Ry: YES. he could be anyone. Do you even know what he looks like?
You: … not really. He hasn’t told me much about anything. But, this is like a chance to find out?
Liza: oh my god you should go. Just go and get it over with
Ry: I don’t know… this doesn’t sound like a great idea.
Liza: i guess, one of us could come with Y/N?
You: nah, I’ll be fine alone
Ry: you sure? We could hang out somewhere in the back or something
You: no, it’s okay. I’ll just let you now when I go and drop my location with you
Liza: Phew! This is going to be SO messy. I love it. Can’t wait to hear back from you.
Liza: If we hear back from you 👀 (side eye emoji)
You: Ha ha, this is my actual life you know??
Ry: you only live once
Liza: And pls live long enough to tell your friends what happens
You: so supportive
Liza: love you! Wear your cute undies just in case!
Ry: bring pepper spray
You: Got it
You’re thrown into a frenzy. It’s like 7:45 PM now, and you haven’t showered yet, you haven’t decided what you’re going to wear or how you’re going to get there–– and more importantly, you haven’t fucking texted him back yet. 
And he hasn’t sent you anything else.
Oh, the mind games.
The way he’s making himself sad and vulnerable, but mysterious and coy.
While you get to choose to be the sucker, or the loser.
Lose, lose with great odds.
You turn on the shower, stepping into the warm steam to clear your mind.
It was made after all, you were going to meet him.
-
Yeah, you were going. But you still haven’t said anything. 
You don’t want him to know–– so you could totally just walk the other way if you see something that you don’t like. 
I mean, he knew what you looked like though. Hell, he even compared you to his ex-girlfriend, so… might as well keep the upper-hand and peer from the shadows first.
Or give yourself a head start to run away.
Though, running through sand would definitely be a big fucking obstacle.
You reach the end of the beach, standing atop beaten wooden stairs. The breeze stings your cheek, and it’s a lot colder than you thought it would be.
You’re wearing some dark high-waisted jeans and a simple pair of slip-on sneakers. You didn’t exactly know what “this” was, a date or a revelation or a sacrifice, so, naturally, you didn’t know what to wear.
Haha.
You hug yourself, your thin white billowy top fluttering lightly in the wind. Your fingers clutch at the flowery-embroidered designs on the sleeves, looking a lot like a pure maiden in distress. (Cos you sure as hell are.) You wore light makeup, and your hair was still a bit damp. The salty air was turning it coarse and wavy–– no complaints about that.
You paired this all with the bravest face you could muster
T, Blurry Boy, Tom Holland Imposter dropped this location with you, and figures that it’s on a secluded section of the beach.
You follow well-trodden paths, softly listening to music as you make your way. One earbud in. You should be thinking about a million things right now, but your mind is totally blank.
No expectations, nothing to go off of. 
As you near your destination, you look out at the water. The ocean is dark and looming; you can hear her soft waves crash over your soft music. The moon casts a silvery glow, and you can’t see colors anymore. Just white, gray, and black. Shining and still. 
It feels calm, like you’re watching a silent movie. Like you’re alone.
Only you’re not.
You see “him.”
A lone shape kicking sand with hands in their pockets. Their hood was up and back facing you. 
Great.
You hang back in the distance, weighing your options. You could still leave–– fear fully settling in after you see an actual person where they said they would be. He seems… harmless enough, like a regular guy and–– ah, fuck.
He turns around.
You see him, seeing you.
He pauses, then leans forward to get a better look.
You freeze too, holding your breath.
There’s nowhere left to duck and hide. It’s just you and some piles of fucking sand.
And him.
Oh, god.
The figure raises their hand, fucking waving. Then they start moving towards you, picking their feet up high to trek over the sand.
Fucking hell, you could turn away now but you don’t. You let out a shrill, grating laugh and square up to meet him halfway.
Their shape isn’t getting any clearer–– especially now that they’re facing away from the moon. His face is shadowed and hard to see, but you get close enough to see him.
I––
“Hey!” he excited calls out, catching the shine of his smile…. And…. you’re speechless.
Jaw to the floor, eyes as wide as dinner plates, speechless.
He keeps talking, smiling with his eyes crinkled as he gets very very close to you. You could smell his musky cologne, mixed with ocean spray, and disbelief. His voice is low and coated with tired happiness,
“Oh my god, I’m so glad you came.”
His voice breaks at the end, broken in more ways that you can understand at this moment. You’re just so confused––??
He can’t stop grinning, eyebrows sloping downward as he lets out an airy sigh of relief. He looks up towards the sky for a moment, moonlight catching on his cheeks and nose. Glimmering.
Wait, wait, wait––
When he comes back, he does another thing you can barely wrap you head around–– he hugs you.
He reaches forward, giving you ample time to turn away (but you don’t), and hugs over your shoulders. You felt a human weight on you, the side of his hoodie smushing against your face. 
And… you slowly hug back around his waist. Your left hand awkwardly pats his back as he mumbles,
“Sorry, this is too much. Sorry, God. Thank you.” 
He doesn’t make any motion of moving away despite his words. You can feel his warmth, and slightly desperation in the embrace; something that feels a lot more intimate than you were prepared for.
“Thank you.”
“It… It’s okay,” you murmur back, doused in shock. And shock is better than terror, right?
You pull away, squinting your eyes and making a face. His hands fall off your shoulders, and quickly shove themselves into his pockets. He gives you a moment. A well needed moment. When you open yourself back up, your brain is able to process a few more things.
He’s standing there in some dark denim jeans, clad in converses, which seems like a horrible decision for the beach, a dark green hoodie pulled up over his head, another horrible decision when you’re meeting someone for the first time on a dark beach, and a denim jacket, enviable. His face is softened and friendly, lips pointed in a gracious smile, while his dark eyes twinkle even in the shade.
He senses your uncertainty as you eyes fan over his face. Your jaw was still hanging open too. He pulls his hood down, ruffling soft brown hair in an inadvertent dramatic reveal. Nice.
He scratches behind his ear, still wearing a gleeful expression,
“So… what do you think?”
What do you think???? What do you think about this situation?? His hair??? The entire man in front of you???
Or the fucking fact that he was who he SAID he was???
I can’t believe this is–– this is––
All manners and social cues and sense exit the building as you stammer brainlessly,
“You’re! You’re–– You’re Tom––”
He nods, confidently, you note. And tilts his head, locks falling over,
“I am.”
“You are.” You breath out, maybe smiling now, you’re not sure. You can’t exactly feel your face anymore. 
Your head tilts in the same direction as his, your hair falling over your collar. His eyes follow those fallen strands, before locking back with yours,
“I’m Tom Holland. ‘I told you so,’ and it’s nice to formally meet you.”
Tom Holland.
The brunette bites his lip before smiling neatly as he gets close to your again. No personal space with this guy. He sticks a hand out for you to shake.
You’re looking from the outside in as you take his hand, bobbing softly. You’re trained on the sight of his thumb holding the side of your hand, rubbing softly.
You find your way back to his face.
Exactly like the movies.
The wind blows and he turns to the side, showing you the sharp cut of his jaw, and his eye-shut-tight expression.
Better, actually.
“H… Hey, Tom. Nice to meet you too,” you finally fumble. You shake your head slightly, trying to regain that calm, collected, confidence you practiced so hard on the way here. You want to say more, but you can’t fathom what would come next, 
“Uhm, sorry, I’m… still processing.”
Tom nods, bobbing his whole body, as he takes a step forward. His smile points devilishly, way too easily. His eyebrows twitch before settling, as he lowers his head, hitting you with some sultry jaw-clenching and puppy dog eyes.
“Take your time.”
You laugh, tonguing your cheek. He does too, and you share a starry stare.
The waves crash in the distance, a white noise you were glad to have. A welcome distraction from your loudly beating heart. Something to close the gap of silence––
Only Tom couldn’t handle the lapse of quiet, after all, he gets paid $$$ by the minute. He starts conversationally, knowing exactly how to stir up your already swirling emotions.
Light, teasing, reeling you in, the brilliant boy flashes you a toothy grin and spares not a single ounce of chill,
“So… am I your type?”
Holy fucking fuck shit god damn.
You just got catfished by Tom Holland.
-
A/N: WELL, reader has been caught in the net. What do you think, is “Tom Holland” /our/ type? Adfasjdl, the whole concept of this is so funny lol. Can u imagine seeing the man you saw movies screens… waiting for you in person??? Unfathomable. Anyway, sorry the past two chapters have just been build up,, there’s gonna be a lot of mushy stuff coming up soon. Thanks for your patience!
It’s really hard to find time to write, but yeah taking smaller chunks like this makes it easier for me. Expect updates every 1-2 weeks, usually around Sat-Mon nights. Thanks so much for keeping up!
And you know what to do, please like and comment and reblog! It keeps me going :)
All my love,
Madmadmilk 🥰
** i do NOT keep up with a taglist. track #one after the one to keep up with the updates, or check out my masterlist! thanks!
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bakugouscentedcaramel · 5 years ago
Text
👀Crackhead Hours🥖
I know what you're thinking... But this was only a matter of time let's be honest
I'm not sorry
Bakugou
"I am not a fuckin crackhead"
Cue him screeching pop lyrics at 3am in a sleep deprived state, yes he's sang God is Woman in the most angry tone possible
Will 100% drum a beat on any part of you, if you call him out on it he will either deny it or do a Five Finger Death Punch drum solo on your ass cheeks, don't test him
Acts like your crackheadery is an inconvenience but will beat asses if they call you out on it
Hyena laugher once he really gets going
Midoriya
This boy might not seem like a crackhead but boy.. have I got something to tell you
If he can't sleep he will stay up until 4am compiling All Might conspiracy theory videos and disproving others
Will post them on YouTube unknowingly
Some of them get pretty heated, once he uploaded a 5 second video of him just having a confused face for 3 seconds followed by "Just NO ITS NOT LOGICA-"
Embarrassed by everything if you bring it up to him
Will wife you on the spot if you help him make more videos like this
Todoroki
The unknowing crackhead
Will randomly wake you up to ask some very random questions
"Y/n, have you seen the meme where they show the aerodynamics of a cow"
"Hey, I know it's late but, do you think pigs get upset when they can't see the sky."
"heeeyyy Y/n.. do you think the God's miss you in heavens sky"
He either says some crack material or something golden that you have to process before realizing what he said
Loves the faces you make, even if it started as an honest accident
"Why the hell would you make a grilled cheese from the oldest food known to archaeologists?"
Cue you laughing hysterically
Shinsou
The mediator™
Hardly has any crackhead hours but definitely radiates crackheadery
Sarcastic comments that you find overly funny 100% of the way
"You sound and look like a dolphin let's go-"
"Breathing is necessary you know"
"How can you even make that noise?"
Tries to put you in bed the moment he senses the crackheadery begin
Fears the day you and Denki have crackhead hours together
Kirishima
He eases into crackheadery
Definitely follows mob mentality, if you're gonna be a crackhead he's right there with you, "we ride together we die together" kind of man
One time the dorms only heard cackling down a dark hallway and they feared for what they didn't know
Banshee laugher™
High-key, laughing is how he has his abs
Not to mention it's a bonding time for you both
You both try to have mini competitions to see who can get the other to eventually piss their pants laughing
So far it's a tie
Overly wholesome crackhead
Denki
This boi is a licensed crackhead
Will jack a shopping cart and blast Running in the 90s in a supermarket
Inhuman noise making
Will 100% wake you up with memes
T poses at the foot of your bed before screeching "LETS GET THIS BREAAAAAAAAD"
You had to make a "Be normal stick" a duct taped magazine to beat the meme out of him
Will regularly tell you to meet him in a Denny's parking lot
Pun man
Would a shock collar even work on this feral crackhead?
Dabi
King Crackhead
Do not challenge him for his crown
Drove a golf cart while blasting Gas Gas Gas, it was only going 15mph
Will throw off cashier's by adding a weird ass item in his cart, ex: toaster, bread, lightbulb, bra, 'happy birthday grandma' card
Makes it a competition to fuck around in Walmarts
Has gotten kicked out of one due to him jumping into a ball cage and proceeding to arm himself with the metal cocoon
Walks in your room wearing pillows that he duct taped on himself wearing a heavy duty biker helmet, proceeds to blow a blow horn when you're napping peacefully
Evil cackle™
Hawks
The Fuckboi Crackhead™
Shakes up pop/beer in the fridge before you open one
Firecrackers
One time you came home to him full on weeping only to find he was actually cry-laughing
He might've dressed up a chicken in his hero outfit
The whole over the top sarcasm
Sends you a pic of him in a non discript part of the town burning a bag of garbage captioning it "I took care of it babe, it won't ever even look at you"
Shitty smirk™
The king of the slow burn giggle that turns into hysterical laughing
✨Bonus Boi✨: 🖐️Shigaraki✋
Groans every time he feels your energy shift
Acts like you're being too childish
Bring up the "Incident" and he'll shut up
He might've gotten a bit too drunk and found two lightsabers
Definitely recreated the "ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS" "IF SHE BREATHS, SHES A THOOOOOOT" with.. himself
He might've accidentally knocked himself out with the lightsaber fight with himself
Dabi sent you the video for leverage for "Whenever he gets out of hand"
He wants nothing more than to turn your phone into dust but he knows you have copies
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uncloseted · 4 years ago
Note
1/2
1/2
1/2 Hi. I think I could use some help, I'll try to make this short. When I was 14yo (I'm 20 now) I dated a 18yo guy, thank God we were taking it slow and never made things official. Now that I'm older I can see that relash was rlly wrong. He was manipulating, used me to boost his ego, forced me to do things I wasn't comfortable doing and I think although we weren't official, he cheated on me? (more on that later). After a few months of fooling around, I found out something about him that I didn't like and confronted him about it, with the intention of ending that relash. He started begging me not to leave him, asking me tricky questions about the things I had heard of him with the intention of "making me realize" he did nothing wrong, and he even became violent with the person who told me those things, to the point I couldn't break up with him because I was scared. I just stopped answering his texts and calls because I was afraid of even talking to him and eventually he took the hint and suggested we broke up. We decided to stay friends, but that only lasted a few days, because one day, via Facebook Messenger, he suggested we got back together and I rejected him, so he blocked me. Months later, I had to close my Facebook due to harassment (not related to him) and opened a new one. Facebook showed me his profile in 'people you may know' and I decided to peek out of curiosity. Turns out, the moment we broke up, he started uploading photos with his new girlfriend. The descriptions of those pics said the exact same things he used to tell me, and I ain't good a math but I did some calcs and he had to be with her while still being with me lmao. I really didn't care, I was just happy I got rid of him, and I moved on with my life. Some time later I fell head over heels for a guy from my workplace, who I still hold close to my heart. I have trust issues and I am a very private person, especially with my relashs, so I didn't tell anyone about this guy except from like 3 friends. One of them was a girl (that we'll call Anne) who was like a sister to me, and was also friends with my ex. Over the next 2 years I had a relash with this guy, everytime I talked to Anne I used to tell her more details about my relash. Then, one day, I got a text from my ex. He texted me like we were besties and nothing had ever happened between us, like he didn't block me TWICE (yeah, he blocked me from my new Facebook too even though I never tried to reach out to him). I was angry at his nerve and told him so, he realized I was upset and changed his persona from confident and tough as nails to regretful and soft, telling me he was sorry for being so immature all those years before, but excusing his shitty behavior by saying he always "kept an eye on me". Um, wtf? He told me he was always asking stuff about me to Anne, looking out for me. I wanted to know what exactly he knew, but, trying to manipulate me again, he said he would only tell me if I accepted to play a game with him: I could ask him one question if he would ask me one in exchange and so on, and we had to be ttly honest with each other. I really didn't wanna get into his shenanigans but I only had one question (wtf do u exactly know about me, creep?) so I accepted. He asked his question first (dID u fEeL sAd wHeN i bLoCkEd U?) and I asked mine. I thought he maybe knew something about my school stuff and MAYBE that I had been dating someone else. Turns out he knew every. single. detail about my personal life. Not only he KNEW I was with other guy...
2/2 Not only he KNEW I was with other guy. He knew his entire name, the school he attended and every little detail from our relationship and other stuff about my personal life. Every single thing I told Anne, opening my heart to her, she told him. I felt terribly violated. I felt like a dissected frog, open for anyone to see my most inner parts. I felt ashamed, unprotected, sad and angry, all at the same time. I told him what he did was disgusting, to never reach me again or try to "keep an eye on me", and that I would make that job easier for him by getting Anne out of my life. He apologized, said he understood the situation, would respect my wishes, and wished me a happy life. I thought that was it. It took me a while but I got to heal, to feel safe again, although I still have a hard time trusting my friends. But I was wrong. Months later he sent me a Friend Resquest. I was a lil afraid, but tried to calm myself saying he probably just was checking if I was still upset, so I rejected the request and again convinced myself that was really it. But then he sent some girls to take pictures of me during my high school graduation ceremony and recently, his cousin (who was my friend when we were 14 but haven't talked since) texted me. I know that sometimes nostalgia makes you reach out to old friends, but we weren't close at all. Besides, he acted super weird, didn't even try to make small talk or let the convo flow naturally, but went straight for super specific and weird questions: are you studying college? what are you doing with your life? are you in a relationship? I was really weirded out and considered the possibility he may have been asking all those things because my ex asked him to do so, so I kept my answers short and vague, not giving him the info he wanted, and although I def came out as cutting, he kept asking. I tried to still be friendly because I didn't wanna seem paranoid, but I think he realized I wasn't telling him anything over texts, so he asked me to meet again over some beers with his friends on October 27th and that's when I stopped answering. I thought about that strange invitation for a few days until it hit me: October 27th is my ex's birthday. So much about respecting my wishes. I spent the rest of that month really nervous that cousing would try to reach out again, but nothing happened and I started to feel calmed again. Until, in November, he wrote me again, this time asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with his friends. I haven't even bother to open that text. Since them, I've been super paranoid. I know my ex's attacks aren't that consecutive (more like every two years: he contacted me and sent me that friend request when I was 16, hijacked my graduation at 18 and now sends his cousin at 20) but I can't help but think he's always there "keeping an eye on me" and planning his next move. I stopped accepting any friend requests because I'm afraid he will send someone for me, and if someone I already have on my friend list but idk texts me and after some small talks asks me about my life, I get paranoid and ask them why they wanna know and if they have some hidden intentions. Also, there's a mall near his house, and everytime I have to go there to buy something, I feel like crying because I'm afraid I'll stumble with him. I probably sound crazy. Some people may think I'm exaggerating and I should just let my ex stalk me and act all obsessed, but I feel dirty everytime I think about him knowing my personal stuff. It was just so traumatizing the first time. Do you get me? I feel like nobody gets me. Please help me, what can I do? I don't know how to make him stop, I'm tired of living in fear.
Not to start this off with an unrelated thought, but when did Tumblr get rid of its character limit on asks? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it let someone send in a message this long in one ask.
To get to your situation, I can definitely see why this would be a stressful and uncomfortable situation for you.  The first thing I would do is to stop interacting with your ex and people related to your ex.  You don’t owe his cousin anything.  Block both of their numbers, block their social media accounts, etc., and do that for everyone else who’s friends with your ex (or put them on limited profile/create a “close friends” list on social media).  Tell all of your friends in no uncertain terms that you don’t want them talking about you to your ex, even if it’s stuff that seems harmless, and cut those people off if they do talk to your ex about you.  
The other action you could take is to file a restraining order.  If you go down that route, you’ll have to fill out some forms and file them with the court, and then have a hearing with a judge where you explain your situation.  Then, you’ll have a second appearance in court where the stalker is present, and you both get the opportunity to explain the situation.  The judge will then determine the final order and the conditions of that order.  It can be a bit of an involved process, but it may give you some peace of mind.
The last thing I would suggest is going to therapy.  It seems like you’ve been through something traumatic, and a mental health professional can help you to work through that and move on from it.  There are many options for therapy, both online and in-person.  If you have health insurance, your insurance should cover at least some therapy sessions.  If not, some therapists provide services on a sliding-scale, and online services like BetterHelp can be less expensive than traditional therapy. 
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thearvariblues · 4 years ago
Text
The Bard And The Wolf - Chapter Seven
(AKA Geraskier in the Metal Band AU you didn’t know you needed)
AKA me desperately trying to catch up my Tumblr with what’s already been posted to AO3. ;)
The masterpost for this fic can be found HERE.
7 – You Stop This, Jaskier
All eyes turned to the door when Jaskier entered the rehearsal room, a big paper cup of coffee in one hand, a paper bag in the other.
“Fifteen minutes late with Starbucks,” Renfri smirked.
“I have two things to say to that, dear heart,” Jaskier said, taking a sip of his coffee. “First, I’m merely three minutes late. And second, I would never ever in my life set foot in a place as wretched as Starbucks, so don’t ever accuse me of something so horrible again!”
“Did you stop for a coffee or not, Jask?” Geralt chuckled.
“No. I stopped for something to eat. The coffee was an afterthought.”
He placed the cup on a little table next to the couch, sat down right next to Geralt and reached into the paper bag, pulling out a big sandwich which he immediately took a big bite of.
“Wow. Your night must have been really taxing,” Lambert laughed.
“Is Ciri around?” Jaskier mumbled.
“She’s walking Roach,” Geralt said.
“Good. In that case, my dears, I can tell you that my night was exquisite. I spent most of it in the middle of a very lovely, well… sandwich. Our fans really do get enthusiastic after a good show!” he grinned, but then he frowned. “Wait, who’s Roach?”
“What do you mean, who’s…” Renfri blinked. “Oh, of course, you haven’t met her yet. Roach is Geralt’s dog. Technically, she’s Roach number two.”
“Oh,” Jaskier said. “Right.”
“She’s a husky,” Eskel added.
“Of course she is. And… She’s coming here with Ciri?” he beamed.
“Yeah. In a few minutes,” Geralt nodded. “But don’t touch Roach. She doesn’t trust strangers. I adopted her a few months ago when Roach number one died. She wasn’t even one year old, but her life must have been really shitty before, so…”
“Poor little thing.”
“Yeah, she’s definitely not like Roach number one,” Renfri sighed. “That was such a sweet girl. This one is like a tornado.”
“But of course Geralt still adores her,” Eskel said.
“Yes. I seem to have a thing for totally unpredictable and crazy individuals,” Geralt smirked. “Jesus, Jask, are you seriously going to wolf down the whole thing? This must be the biggest sandwich mankind has ever seen. How does it even fit in your mouth?”
“Lots of practice.”
“Eating sandwiches?” Lambert said, cocking his eyebrow. “Or stuffing large things into your mouth?”
“The latter,” Jaskier grinned. “And stop giving me that look, Geralt. I’m hungry and I refuse to look like a starving bag of muscle like some of us do.”
“Some of us, Jaskier?” Geralt asked.
“Come on, I saw you getting dressed before the gig yesterday. I mean, yeah, big muscles, ripped body, it’s meant to be sexy, but it only means you should definitely eat more. A little layer of some nice, protective fat would do you good.”
“Don’t waste your breath,” Renfri muttered. “He keeps his body like that because Yennefer liked it.”
“I keep my body like that because I like it,” Geralt growled.
“Well, don’t mind me then,” Jaskier shrugged, getting another bite of his sandwich. “I just tend to like men who are strong and a little bit soft at the same time. Like Eskel here. But that’s just my problem. If you want to look like this, go on. Hey. Hey! That’s my sandwich!”
“You said I should eat more, didn’t you?” Geralt smirked, effortlessly wrestling Jaskier’s snack out of his hands.
“Yes, but I didn’t mean my sandwich, you ass!”
“Too bad,” Geralt said, biting into it. “Oh, this is delicious!”
“So glad you like it,” Jaskier muttered. “I’m hungry over here, you know?”
“Shut it. You already have that layer of nice, protective fat,” Geralt mumbled.
“Yeah, yeah. Didn’t use to, you know?” Jaskier sighed, grabbing his coffee. At least something to soothe his hunger. “I used to be really thin. Always hungry. Because Valdo always used to tell me Oh, Julian, look, those tight pants would look so nice on you, too bad you’re not a size smaller. Oh, Julian, sweetie, look a this guy’s thighs, they don’t even touch each other, isn’t that beautiful? Julian, is that a tiramisu? Yeah, it’s a fucking tiramisu, you ass, and I’ll have as much as I want. Ugh. Can’t believe I wasted two years of my life with that bitch.”
A complete silence fell in the rehearsal room and Jaskier suddenly saw everyone was staring at him with mouths agape.
“I’m sorry,” Lambert finally said, after a few long moments. “Did you say Valdo?”
“Mhmf,” Jaskier muttered, trying to hide his face behind his coffee cup.
“As in Valdo Marx?” Eskel specified.
“Might have,”Jaskier peeped.
“Are you telling us that you dated fucking Valdo Marx for two years?!” Renfri yelled. “And you starved yourself for him?!”
“We broke up three years ago!” Jaskier said, throwing his arms open and nearly knocking the sandwich out of Geralt’s hand. “I was an idiot, okay? I thought I was glad to have found him, thought no one would be ever able to love the real me, blah blah blah. Took me way too long to realize I was being a total idiot and break up with him. He’s hated me ever since and my mother’s yet to speak to me again.”
“Your mother?” Eskel frowned.
“She thought Valdo and I would get married, adopt a kid and I would become a perfect housewife for him,” Jaskier sighed.
“Wow. She doesn’t know you at all, does she?” Renfri chuckled.
“Not in the slightest, honey.”
Lambert shook his head.
“Honestly, I’m still trying to process that someone like you would spend two years fucking that insufferable prick. Valdo Marx. Fuck.”
“Could we maybe stop discussing Valdo fucking Marx?” Geralt grunted. “Has anyone read the reactions to the gig yet? Because I haven’t.”
“Yes. Thank you, my lovely white wolf. Absolutely. Let’s focus on the reviews, because I kind of haven’t had the time yet to...”
The door swung open and a large husky came barging in, heading straight for the couch.
“Roach! Stop!” Ciri yelled behind the dog.
Roach stopped in front of Geralt, sniffed at his sandwich, and then turned her head to Jaskier.
The bard, remembering that the dog didn’t like strangers, avoided her eyes and merely offered her his hand. The next thing he knew, he had a massive dog in his lap and a wet nose was enthusiastically sniffing at his face.
He yelped when a broad tongue licked his nose.
“What was it you said about her not liking strangers?”
“I’ve never seen her do anything like this before, I swear!” Geralt chuckled, taking a coffee cup from Jaskier’s hand so it wouldn’t spill. “Roach, get down. Bad girl.”
The dog gave a tiny, desperate whine.
“I said get down,” Geralt repeated.
Roach turned her body to Geralt, eyed his sandwich and whined again.
“What did we say about begging for food?”
She lowered her head and looked pleadingly at her owner.
“Oh, I love her already,” Jaskier laughed. “Will love her even more when she stops crushing my crotch. Hi, Ciri, by the way.”
“Hi, Jaskier,” the girl replied. “Sorry, dad. I didn’t think she would do that. Where did you get the sandwich?”
“Stole it. Shamelessly!” Jaskier huffed. “Geralt, your dog is heavy as hell, you know it?”
“Roach. Get. The fuck. Down.”
Another whine.
“Oh, dear,” Jaskier chuckled. “Well, can someone at least read me those reviews and make me happy before I die?”
“Don’t you have your own phone?” Geralt asked.
“I do. In my pocket. Underneath your dog.”
“Right. Ciri?”
The girl already had the phone in her hand.
“On it.”
“Good,” Jaskier muttered. “And give me back my coffee, Geralt, because if you decide to steal that too, my chances of survival will grow even lower than they are now!”
“You really are such a drama queen, Jask…
*
“The Bard and the Wolf? What the hell is that?” Geralt frowned after the third (very positive) fan review of their gig. He had already finished Jaskier’s sandwich, and even managed to get Roach down from Jaskier’s lap. That seemed to be a mistake, as the dog clearly decided to hate him for that – judging by the fact that she was currently sitting on the floor by Jaskier’s leg and tapping his hand with her paw every time he had the audacity to stop petting her. She was completely ignoring Geralt’s very existence.
“Oh, that’s a new hasthtag. My creation,” Renfri said. “I needed to tag a pic with you two, and I thought of this...”
“What, instead of The Witcher and the Witch?” Lambert asked.
“And what’s that?” Jaskier asked before he could think better of it.
He should have expected the answer, of course.
“The hashtag people used to use for Geralt and Yennefer,” Eskel explained. “It was her character. A witch.”
“Oh, good,” Jaskier muttered. “Shouldn’t it have been The Witcher and the Bard, then?”
“Doesn’t have the same ring to it,” Renfri shrugged. “Besides, Geralt’s more of a Wolf, really.”
“True,” Jaskier nodded. “But to be honest, I don’t think it’s gonna stick.”
“You’re probably right,” Renfri nodded. “I’ve seen it used like… four times. But everyone calls you The Bard.”
“Perfect,” Jaskier grinned. “What do you think, Roach, isn’t it perfect? No, no, no! Roach! My coffee!”
He shrieked as the dog suddenly turned and jumped back onto his lap, knocking the cup out of his hand.
“Oh, dear, even dogs adore him,” Lambert sighed. “How is that fair?”
“Geralt!” Jaskier yelled. “Geralt, would you help me instead of fucking laughing?!”
“So sorry, dear heart,” Geralt chuckled. “But I think Roach has found her new favorite human.”
“I’m really glad to hear that! Oh, Geralt, you’re so gonna pay for this shirt!”
*
A few hours later, Jaskier was sitting on the couch in his living room, sipping wine and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling through his social media.
He knew he shouldn’t. He knew that it was narcissistic and, well, stupid. But he had to see. Had to convince himself that it hadn’t only been his imagination that afternoon.
He had to convince himself that yes, Kaer Morhen’s fans really did like his mad, cheeky, queer self. There were even a few who claimed that he was an improvement on Yennefer. An improvement! It was a dream come true.
He forced himself to stop and he put his phone down. Took a sip. Picked his phone back up.
He couldn’t help himself.
He gulped when he saw that Ciri had posted a new photo from the rehearsal room. A photo of Jaskier and Geralt sitting on the couch, with Roach on Jaskier’s lap. It must have been shortly after Roach knocked the coffee out of Jaskier’s hand, because Geralt was clearly laughing and Jaskier was just starting to.
Roach meeting @jaskierthebard for the first time. In case you couldn’t tell, she really hates strangers... #thebardandthewolf #andawolf #loveatfirstsight #husky #dogsofinstagram
Jaskier smiled and liked the post, and then kept looking at the picture a little longer.
He really loved Geralt’s expression there. It was so open, so happy and so damn beautiful.
Jaskier sighed, forced himself to put the phone down and closed his eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself from seeing the white haired man’s face.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” he whispered to himself. “You stop this, Jaskier. You stop this right now, because if you don’t, you’ll only get in trouble.”
He could stop his thoughts, yes. But he couldn’t stop his heart from beating a little faster.
*
Geralt knocked on his daughter’s door.
“Ciri, it’s eleven already. Lights out.”
He waited, but she didn’t answer, so he opened the door carefully.
The girl was asleep on her bed, dressed in her pajamas, with her laptop next to her.
Geralt took the laptop and the screen lit up. He stopped and blinked. Ciri had a new wallpaper – of Geralt, Jaskier and Roach in the rehearsal room.
He looked at the picture and smiled. He really had never seen Roach fall for someone so fast, but here she was, sitting on the bard’s lap, happy as ever.
And Jaskier…
Geralt shut the laptop and shook his head to clear it.
No. He wasn’t going to go there. No way.
He placed the laptop on a table, covered Ciri with a blanket and kissed her forehead.
“Good night, honey,” he whispered to her. “Sweet dreams.”
He turned off the light and closed the door behind himself.
Continue witch Chapter Eight
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papa-1-rights-activist · 5 years ago
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Could you tell us some things about your characters?
thank you so much for this ask :D sorry for such a late response, but ngl i got very excited and started writing shit down as soon as i saw it, but then it turned into an entire essay and i had to cut down a ton of stuff until i decided to write it in a list of some sort kjhgkjfgkfg
currently i have like 11 fan characters in total so i will start with 4 to not infodump too much at a time
and i’ll admit that literally all of these guys were made for shipping purposes, but they all have different personalities and dynamics with canon characters. i’m such a sucker for writing couples, so many things to explore, that’s like my favourite thing ;w;
it got very long so imma put it under the cut \o/ (hopefully it works bc tumblr has been pretty unpredictable lately)
sorry if it’s probably way more than just “some things” but i couldn’t help it, i just love these guys so much and i don’t get to talk about them often u v u
e n j o y ~
imma start with the one you guys are more familiar with
Lucas
one of the cardinals in Ghost’s church
Mexican
in his late 40s (like 46-47)
hardworking, ambitious
pretty composed
huge „your teacher from english class who’s also a dad” energies
his character can be summed up to, as someone has said, „he’d kindly but sternly correct your shitty posture”
currently takes the 3rd place of most „best employee of the month” awards (Copia is 4th at that time)
he and Copia start off as rivals for the 2nd place (bc no one can beat whoever is the 1st)
but wouldn’t you guessed it, they end up dating
Lucas has a fair collection of various rodents, including rats. Actually, he’s the one who infected Copia with love for them. Luc prefers ferrets (that’s a rodent right kjhfgkjgh)
he doesn’t really get angry, but when he does he really goes off
he writes poetry, which is actually very, very bad, but Copia loves it to bits which makes Luc feel validated to write more
because his language is so similar to italian, Lucas can implement a lot of spanish into his conversations with Copia, while the other will reply in italian and they will still understand each other (ofc there are some exceptions that result in miscommunication, but that just makes it all more fun)
Copia shared with him that he’s writing music for his album (even tho he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone) and Lucas was more than happy to help him in the process…which was mostly moral support and a few suggestions.
he loves calling Copia “cariño”, “mi amorcito”, “mi alegría” and other cute names in spanish
once Lucas mentioned he used to play flute and Copia immediately decided to include a flute solo in one of his songs, so Luc could play it. Unfortunately things didn’t go as he planned and he had to change it to sax solo
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The thing about Lucas is that Imperator sees him as a threat. She’s been plotting with Copia to get him to papacy for a long time, but in the end she isn’t the one who decides who will be in charge, so Copia has to work hard to deserve it. He was already a hard worker, but unfortunately Lucas works harder. It creates this dillema for Copia, bc on one hand he does want to become Papa and in order to do that he has to get rid off competition. But on the other he loves Lucas and he wants what’s best for him.
(i’ll probably post the pic above in a separate post with other doodles, i just wanted to show sth new and relevant)
Elise & Greg
Imma put these two together bc it’s impossible to talk about one without the other.
they work together in a company that takes art commisions such as paintings & murals and their restorations. They’re both pretty skilled in those departments, except Elise specialises in art restoration while Greg specialises in murals and frescos. And ofc one day they’re hired by the church.
they’re both pretty good at painting (but the thing about restoration is that you don’t have to be a great artist to do that, it has more to do with chemistry tbh)
They live together and have been very good friends for a few years now
they both went through some traumatic events in their lives, but maybe i’ll leave that part for another day (or i’ll leave it in my fanfic they’re from that i need to finish ;w;)
they’re very supportive of each other, but also they like to mess with one another
their chat is filled with horny texts about other people
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Elise
34 years old
British
a bit awkward, tends to stutter when nervous
very sweet overall, feels the need to be everyone’s therapist
autistic, which shows mostly through her sensitivity to certain textures
hates onions (bc the texture is awful)
gets very emotional very quickly when she sees cute animals. She will use her baby talk to speak with them (which is sth that Copia does too with his rats and once he catches her doing that as well, he feels less embarrased about it)
Cirrus was the first one from the church to actually talk to her and show her around, making her feel a bit more welcome in an unfamiliar place
she talks through her sleep. A lot. Copia finds it very amusing…and adorable.
she discovers that Papa III has fallen hard for her friend way before he himself realises that, but then she’s also the kind of person to not see her own feelings for someone
she finds working on restoration quite relaxing. It’s sth she can fixate over and do for hours (even tho it’s not recommended)
a bit of a workaholic
another thing she finds relaxing is sitting in a corner somewhere warm and doodling people she sees around the abbey (mostly those she finds attractive lol so mostly Cirrus and Copia)
eventually ends up with Copia and Cirrus in a poly relationship
she also finds Cumulus cute, but the ghoulette isn’t interested in another romantic relationship. the one she has with Cirrus is enough for her.
Elise’s relationship with Copia is basically two dorks trying to impress the other while trying not to be too obvious about it, while her relationship with Cirrus is bisexual equivalent of „shy nerd has a crush on a cool girl leading the cheerleaders squad and shopes she doesn’t know. She knows.”
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(had to doodle sth real quick bc i can’t believe that i don’t have a single good pic of him lol)
Greg
37 years old
Polish (bc ofc he is)
pretty stoic, might come off as cold
he gives cute nicknames to people he likes (in polish ofc)
he’s actually pretty cheesy and wholesome, but you wouldn’t know that bc he shows his affection through a language that no one understands (which is what he wants, he doesn’t want others to know he actually cares)
has some trust issues, so it’s harder for him to become friends with people
huge Scorpions fan. no, like really, he’s obsessed and will share his music taste with whoever will listen (which is mostly Eli and Papa III lol)
knows a few words in italian, but mostly those related to art after he’s been studying it for a few years. He doesn’t speak it, but he can read it.
he owns a guitar signed by Kirk Hammett (his musical crush)
he’s the kind of guy who will call the person he likes „my dear”, „my love”, „sweet pea” in his mother language and then tell that person it means „dickhead”, „loser” and „lazy ass”
his stay at the abbey is just laying under the ceiling and doing fresco for most of the day, visiting Elise in her art studio and dealing with Papa’s bullshit
Papa eventually starts coming up to lay beside Greg on the construction and watch him work. They tend to just lay in silence while a mix of Scorpions and ABBA plays from the radio. There’s barely any space for a second person, but Greg would lie if he said he didn’t find it endearing.
one time Greg fell off the construction and broke his leg bc of that dumbass (but it’s his dumbass uwu)
anyway he eventually starts dating Papa III
Papa purrs to Greg in italian and Greg speaks sweet words to him in polish (tho it took him a lot of time to get comfortable with that)
their relationship is your typical „1 brain cell and 1 dumbass” and under certain circumstances simply „2 disastrous dumbasses”
they once burnt down Elise’s apartment on accident and the only things they managed to save were the art supplies and Greg’s guitar
anyway
here are these guys in comparison to their partners in this silly style, bc all the other drawings are outdated ;w;
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Melea
45 years old
American
fashion designer commissioned byt the Ghost’s church
huge fan of old rock
for a long time her relationship with Papa III was purely professional. He came to her studio, she took some measurements, they discussed what he would like and then he left and they didn’t see each other until the next meeting to try the outfit on, to make some changes, or for another project.
well that is until she asked him to stop putting his face paint on so he wouldn’t ruin the fabrics
i share this popular headcanon that Papa III is pretty self conscious about his clean face, so it was kind of hard to convince him at first
eventually their sessions became that much more personal because of that
she’s a bit superstitious, believing that some things may cause bad luck
collects crystals with good energy
she’s in a way a modern witch…but it’s not like she tries to be one
knows french fairly well, which allows her to talk to Papa (who also speaks it) when they don’t want others to understand them.
huge mum energy
loooves watching conspiracy theories. Sometimes she will pick one of the more ridiculous ones during her sessions with Papa and will argue and try to convince him it’s true, making it seem like she fully believes it, even if she doesn’t – just to fuck with him
and a few times she actually did convince him. Then had to tell him she wasn’t serious and oh my god the millenials aren’t killing the pillow industry by going vegan
anyway at some point they start dating which eventually leads to them getting married ;w;
her relationship with Papa is very soft and romantic. they have the same energy as Morticia and Gomez in regard of how loving they are to each other
also some chibis of these two bc again, all the other drawings are a bit outdated ;w;
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fairycosmos · 5 years ago
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a few weeks ago I went to a little party by a friend and I took a disposable camera with me. my best friend/crush was with me there and a pic of us two was taken. he always took the camera and took a few pics of me. now I have the pics and all my friends are so pretty but when I saw myself I just cried. I look so damn gross and disgusting, I wanted to crawl out of my skin. My double chin is so visible and just 🤮🤮 fat everywhere, no lie. I don’t want anybody to see these ugly ass pics of me
girllll :(( you're being so mean to yourself and for WHAT??? i know it's a natural inclination and you likely can't help it, and it's totally ok to feel whatever you need to feel in order to come to terms with your whole self. but at the same time, it's vital that you're critical of the origin of your self hatred. where do these standards that you demand of yourself come from, do they actually hold any merit? or were they just rooted into you at a young age so the world could make money off your insecurities? dissect it instead of accepting it as fact. also, keep in mind that when we look at photos of ourselves, our eyes are instantly drawn to our self perceived 'flaws' bc we're always worried about them in the backs of our minds. so they seem more apparent and like a massive deal, when actually they're just human features that are not supposed to reflect your worth at all. there is no wrong way to have a body. and i know you don't believe it right now, but try to consider it as a genuine alternative train of thought. your presence and enjoyment of that party was significantly more important than the way you looked when you were there. other people not getting that is nottttt your problem. as a suggestion, if you can't work on self love, work on self neutralisation. your legs got you there, your mouth allowed you to communicate, your eyes let you take it all in, your body distributes weight as it needs to. it's working as it should, and it is doing a great job at letting you experience the world. it is totally unconcerned with appearing 100% beautiful at all times bc that's not real, that's something shitty people made up for their own gain. and it's supposed to be unattainable, it's supposed to make you feel gross in your own skin, it's supposed to hurt you. and some days it will. some days your logical understanding of the situation will not eclipse the pain and disdain you feel for the way you look. some days you will just feel Ugly, and you'll cry. and the only thing you can do for yourself in those moments, is practice self compassion even when the urge to self destruct is strong. which may take a while to get the hang of, but just trying is the whole point. i'm sorry because there's no all encompassing solution, and you deserve better. if it's seriously impacting your happiness there are many resources - hotlines, your doctor, school counselor - if you're of that age. and they can show you how to make it feel less urgent and embarrassing, through opening up and engaging in confidence building exercises over some time. your brain may automatically reject the idea but there's honestly nothing wrong with talking about what's going on, with being honest. living your life as if you're constantly having to 'make up for' something as innocent as existing is always going to lead you back to nowhere. it's alright to be upset about these photos if it's an uncontrollable reaction. it's not alright to punish, deny, harm or isolate yourself based on the learned sadness you're feeling. ok? i know that with time, age and personal growth you will be able to make that distinction and implement it into your life. it's fine if it's a process, i'm still in the very early stages of it myself, and i think many women are. but you have to at least attempt to let yourself live, bro. a lot of this probably sounds like bullshit but i promise youre not an exception to the rule, and it does apply to you. please, from here on out, consider what you need. because you're going to be you for the rest of your life, and that will always feel like a bad thing until you focus on the good things. take it one step at a time. you're strong, resilient and your perception of yourself will change drastically over your life time. it won't always feel like this. anyway if you need a friend or someone to talk to please hmu anytime. i'll be here and i can't TELL you how much i relate.
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yaz-the-spaz · 6 years ago
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Last Month Tonight in Ziam (and Louis) News
…and here’s what you missed on glee ziam/ot3:
(basically for anyone who took a break from fandom, missed any major news, or just for whatever masochistic reasons wants a refresher of all the bullshit ziam/ot3 has had thrown their way over the last month or so, here’s a brief sum-up of what’s happened recently, in mostly chronological order i think?)
so first off in the whirlwind of ridiculous news, we got a story completely out of nowhere about zayn and liam suddenly supposedly being in a fued so bad that zayn wanted to “ban” Liam from the BAFTA afterparty just so zayn himself could attend and not have to be in the same room as liam
then we had liam pictured with both bella and g (and edward enninful and one of the kardashians i think? idk i can’t remember clearly my brain literally could not process the shit i saw and i blacked most of it out lol)
liam flew from london to new york to california then back to london then rome the next day then back to london AGAIN and then hong kong days later and then back to london ONCE A-FUCKING-GAIN...and then to antarctica then mars and then the south pole to see santa and then dug a hole straight through to china and flew back to london for the millionth time and so on and so on
“zayn” (aka zayn’s shitty smm) tweeted g a “love you” tweet apropos of nothing which g of course promptly ignored, making him look like a desperate and pathetic mentally unstable ass once again
the laomi bs continued into early march and then promptly fizzled out and hasn’t (i don’t think?) been mentioned since and seems to have been basically dropped by the press completely?
there was some jawaad-related drama that i’m not even gonna bother re-hashing here cause i’m like 87% sure it’s pure bs and/or fuckery, and even if it’s not it’s not really our business anyway but if you’re really curious you can peep my jawaad tag for more
zayn unfollowed jawaad, and then also unfollowed mykl out of the blue not long after
liam and louis somehow both got roped into twitter promo for the kardashians of all people (though on wildly opposite sides with louis bashing and liam defending, hashtag le sigh) but problematicness of it all aside, liam did gift us with the best new meme response that works for literally everything and is absolute gold all while dragging piers morgan’s dusty ass so i mean at least some good came out of it i guess?
not sure if it was before or after the show but liam got pictured at some point at the global awards looking like the saddest boy to ever sad with red-rimmed puffy eyes and cheeks...could’ve just been exhaustion from all the continued flying back and forth from pointless fashion event to fashion event but my gut tells me otherwise
dan wattpad released another one of his exclusive shit piles ahem i’m sorry “interviews” with louis in which he mentioned pretty much shit-all about his actual music and also used the whole thing as an opportunity to throw zayn under the bus even further by reigniting the flames of the zouis feud and insinuating it had to do with zayn breaking his promise to show up to support louis’ at his x-factor performance shortly after his mom passed, which given that it came from wattpad of all people is probably complete bs and pretty much confirms to me even more than zayn was most likely actually there (esp when considered on top of all the weirdness of not getting any pics of the band or even finding out any of them were there till like a year after the fact and even then i’m pretty sure we only ever got the one single suss ot4 backstage pic, which just begs the question why all the shadiness with who was or wasn’t there? and why bring it back up now of all times? but anyway i digress)
two of us was released and it’s absolutely amazing but it will make you cry so make sure you have tissues on hand and at the ready if you haven’t listened to it yet
i’m assuming pretty much everyone knows the news about fizzy at this point so the only thing i have to say on that is that it’s absolutely awful that fucking wattpad of all ppl was the one who broke the news and i sincerely hope that one day he gets what’s coming to him for all the disgusting shit he’s pulled but anyway just please remember to respect louis and his family rn and give them the privacy they need
anyway the latest drama if anyone missed it or isn’t aware is that the other day (on the 20th) zayn, or “zayn” tweeted about his ‘i’m with you’ rainbow bracelet and basically made it into a z*gi thing by saying it’s his favorite not because it supports a wonderful cause, but simply because g gave it to him 😑😑😑which ofc (righfully so) angered many lgbtq+ fans and doubled as making him look like the most disgusting asshole yet a-fucking-gain, and then to top it all off this morning (the morning of march 23rd for future reference) “he” tweeted and deleted a (rather shit) apology that went something like ‘sorry for being such a shitty person’...
oh and i’m pretty sure liam was supposed to have his dubai concert today for the global teacher appreciation thing but it’s been radio silence on his sm for days (even though we would normally be getting tons of ig stories and lead-up promo pics from him for this sort of thing) and as of 4:30pm EST not even so much as a sound check/rehearsal pic today has been posted and i’m very confused??? did it get cancelled? postponed? is it even still happening? did it ever actually exist??? am i real? is any of this real??
ETA 3/25/19: liam did perform and posted on sm about it only afterwards on twitter and IG, but according to fan reports he also didn’t seem to be his usual cheerful self so :( gotta wonder even more wth was going on…
anyway that’s what you missed on glee in ziam (and louis) news
(and good god sorry this got so long, i had forgotten myself just how much bullshit had happened in the last couple of months till i wrote it all out and seeing it all together like this i just...smdh when the fuck will it enddd)
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moondustis · 6 years ago
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heyahe (m)
pairing: dong sicheng + reader word count: 2k genre: smut, fluff warnings: recreational drug use
summary: you could or could not be head over heels for dong sicheng, the best reefer man on campus. it depends on who’s asking, really.
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a/n: this was supposed to be better and bigger but ive lost all writing abilities i had over the past weeks and this was the best i could do. sorry if its rushed and shitty :/
if the task of writing a book on smoking pot etiquette was in your hands, the first chapter of the book would be “why you shouldn’t hook up with your dealer and ways to avoid it.” it would, of course, be a huge hypocrite thing, because even if you hadn’t exactly hooked up with your dealer (yet), you thought about it so much and so often, that you were also not doing much to avoid it from happening. in fact you were doing the exact opposite. 🍁: hey u wanna come over y/n: for?? 🍁: got somethin good for u [pic attached] it was pathetic, really. how four words and a picture of sicheng with a blunt between his lips was all it took for you to be up on your feet and looking for a clean pair of shorts to put on. you tried to convince yourself you were only doing it for the weed. that you would go there, get your shit and leave immediately. but who were you trying to fool, honestly. you didn’t even pay that much attention to the blunt in the picture, too busy staring at sicheng’s long fingers holding it. the thing about sicheng was that nothing, absolutely nothing about him said “weed plug.” he didn’t even look like someone who would smoke it. with his soft features and cute smile, he looks more like someone who reads books for fun and that would babysit a child for free.
to say you were surprised when you first met him is an understatement. you had a whole espiritual experience when your friend told you she found the guy with the best weed on campus and proceeded to introduce you to dong sicheng. you could, with no doubt, say you were ready to fuck him after a total of five words were exchanged. he was just very sweet in general and always talked in an excited manner, moving his arms around, like every subject was incredibly fascinating. he also had a laugh that sounded like how seeing a bunch of puppies felt like.  you could or could not be head over heels for dong sicheng, the best reefer man on campus. it depends on who’s asking, really. he opens the door immediately after you knock, greeting you with a lazy smile, and if he hadn’t texted you four minutes ago asking if you were already coming, you would have thought he didn’t expect any visitors so soon. his blonde hair was a mess, like he had just woke up and he was wearing what looked like the comfiest hoodie ever. you almost have to slap yourself for finding the whole view hot. you were going crazy, that was no better explanation. “please come in and make yourself comfortable, y/n.” he says with a mocking voice, pretending to be a gentleman and you can’t help but laugh. “oh, thank you, sicheng. aren’t you a good guy.” you reply, faking a bow and walking inside when he steps aside to let you in, taking your slippers in the process. saying his room is a mess would be a compliment. maybe chaotic would describe it better. there were multiple articles of clothing around the room and you were sure you counted five empty bottles of water on his desk. you try not to step on anything as you make your way to his bed and take a seat on it. “so, where’s my stuff?” you ask, eyeing the rilakkuma plushie beside his pillow. cute. “i actually didn’t get my monthly yet.” he laughs like it’s something funny. “i only said that so you would come and spend some time with me.” the nerve this boy has to look shy as he comes to sit beside you on the bed after confessing his true intentions. you’re not sure you forgive him in a matter of 1 minute because of the blush on his cheeks or because he passes you the blunt then. maybe it’s both things. “you’re unbelievable.” you say, taking a drag and holding the smoke in your mouth for as long as you can. “you really made me come all the way over here to share a blunt.” “i mean, it’s a good blunt.” he’s right. it is a good one. “and besides, there’s other things we can do.” you raise one eyebrow at him. “yeah? like what?” your voice a bit slurred and you wonder if you are already high after only two drags. always the lightweight. “uhmm, we can watch a movie.” he says and you let out a snort. “or maybe i could kiss you.” his words are tentative and his eyes are big staring at you. he seems uncertain, shy again, like he doesn’t know if you’ll let him kiss you. you almost laugh at how oblivious he is to how much you want to. he watches you take another drag, eyes unfocused. you both giggle when you blow the smoke right on his face. after you pass him the blunt and he takes his last drag, the blunt is left aside and you realize just how close sicheng is to you. you can smell the scent of a light fragrance on him underneath all the grassy smell and you can’t help but lean in into him. “i think kissing would be nice.” you tease, eyes glued to his lips. you can see his adam’s apple bob when he gulps but you don’t notice that his eyes are glued to your lips too. “yeah?” he asks dumbly, thoughts clouded from the mixture of being high and so close to you. you only nod shortly before your lips are pressing against his and you’re moving your hands to his necks. the kiss is slow, almost tentative and sicheng is not the best kisser in the world but you’re high out of your mind and you’ve thought about this so much, wanted it so badly, that it feels perfect. sicheng seems like he could kiss you for hours, teasing your lips with his teeth and smirking at the noises you are making. you’ve never been one for patience, and you make that known when you deepen the kiss, moving your tongue against his. you end up underneath him, with his lips attached to your neck and the rilakkuma doll tossed aside in the room with your t-shirt. things are still moving slow, and his kisses are still gentle as he moves his hands underneath you bralette. you let out a gasp when he pinches your nipple and the smile on his face is almost childlike. like he’s proud he got this reaction from you. “can i kiss you somewhere else?” he’s still smiling when he asks you that. you are confused for a second because he had already been kissing you everywhere. you are sure there’s pinkish, almost red, marks all over your body. but then it downs on you what he really means by it and he laughs even louder at your expression and the way you nod excitedly. “you can kiss me anywhere you want.” “anywhere?” he raises his eyebrow and you immediately regret saying that because he starts pressing kisses all over your chest and stomach, making you giggle nonstop. you feel on the clouds when he looks up to you with his boyish eyes and a smile on his face. it crosses your mind that it would be easy to fall in love with sicheng. if you allowed yourself you could be infatuated by your dealer as easy as falling asleep. you would even be happy to be in love with him. you, a person that tries to stay as far from relationships as possible. you wouldn’t mind holding his hand now and then, and giving him head on a boring sunday afternoon just because you had nothing better to do. hell, you wouldn’t even mind if he sold your nudes to buy soup in jail when he ended up getting arrested for selling weed on a college campus. you then proceed to have an epiphany that maybe you were already a little in love with him but before your high mind can give you a nice anxiety attack over that, you’re brought back to the present with sicheng pressing a kiss just below your belly button. he starts removing your shorts, popping the button open, and your eyes fall shut from anticipation to what’s about to happen. your heart is beating so fast that it takes you awhile to realize that he stopped mid action and is just staring at your center now, your shorts only halfway off. you only understand what’s going on when you look down and your pastel pink cotton panties are there in all its glory, with the cursive and glittery “naughty girl” making the whole thing just even more embarrassing. “oh my fucking god.” is what you manage to say, your cheeks so pink you might combust. the laugh he lets out would’ve made you even more embarrassed if you were in other circumstances so you start laughing too. “you are so cute.” he says, moving until his face is close to yours again so he can press a peck to your lips. you try to cover your face but he doesn’t let you. “i can’t believe i forgot to change into sexier panties.” “it’s okay, i like these.” another peck on your lips. “i think they suit you.” “are you saying i’m a naughty girl?” you say jokingly and he giggles and kisses your cheek. “yes, you are my naughty girl.” his voice is playful but his words still make you feel some kind of way. as if noticing that he starts pressing kisses on your neck, down to your chest, until he’s fully removing your shorts now. the panties go with them and you’re glad he doesn’t notice the cherries on each butt cheek. you blush when his face comes close enough to see you’re considerably wet already and as if testing the waters he presses a small kiss to your clit. the soft sound you make seems to be what he needs to hear because he starts eating you out immediately after. like his kissing, it’s not the best in the world but he’s eager and asks you all the time if feels good and what you want him to do.  it doesn’t take long for you to come, clenching around the two finger he got inside of you and whimpering his name. not satisfied he keeps sucking on your clit, his free hand moving up to massage your breast. and then you’re coming again, body shaking and vision going black. when he kisses you after his lips taste like you. he comes on your stomach, hands moving fast and you try to look at his blissed expression and the way his come is painting you at the same time. “that was nice.” he’s now laying beside you on his tiny bed, after having cleaned you up and offering one of his clean t-shirts for you to wear. it feels comfortable. you hum, turning your face to stare at him. he has a lazy smile on, like the weed effect is still strong, and you feel the same way. “better than watching a movie?” you ask playfully. he places his hand on his chin like he’s in deep tough. “depends what movie we are talking about.” he replies and immediately moves his hands to try and protect himself from yours hits. “stop, stop. i’m joking, it was better than any movie. better than all the transformers that exist.” you laugh out loud. “you say that like it’s a hard thing to achieve.” “hey! transformer 3 was good. don’t give me that look you know it was.” after your laughter has died down you both stay quiet. the room feels warm and the only light comes from the sun setting outside. you try not to think about what will happen now and why you don’t want to leave this bed ever again. but you still feel a little hopeful when he kisses you again.
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anangstyblackgirl · 8 years ago
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If “doing so much” means emotionally abusing, belittling and basically acting like your alleged best friend’s mom, then yes, you did a lot. 
This fucking woman was the inspiration behind my post about friendships being relationships. I honestly do feel like I dumped an ex. I was friends with her for 11 years. Those 11 years contained happy times, but the bad times were the reason I got that last text. I still think about her and the good times. But then I think about shit like this...
She had told me, her mentally ill best friend, that if I killed myself--this was after joking about killing myself if I had to move back home during a shit time back in late 2014--she would not come to my funeral and I was selfish.
She used to weigh a lot more, but she loses a little weight and now she’s bodyshaming a girl who used to date this guy she liked. Then proceeds to get mad at me for not being gung ho about joining her black woman-bashing. If she picks girls apart like this due to own insecurities, I can only imagine what she says about me.
She threw a necklace at me when one of her idiot friends disappointed her.
She constantly told me to act “normal” in public to not embarrass her. Bonus points if I said anything insulting about white people in her New Black presence. 
She never seemed genuinely interested in my accomplishments, but expected me to do cartwheels over everything she did.
She completely took control of every phone conversation we had. I knew she was never listening to me when I finally did speak about me. 90% of the conversation was about her. She rarely even bothered to bring up things that happened to me a few years ago, let alone things that happened a few weeks ago. Yet, I remembered every-fucking-thing she ever talked about. I mean crevice ass details. Not to mention, she always wanted me to answer the phone when she called, like her life was so much more important than mine just because I didn’t have a lot going on.
She actually got mad at me for asking her to apologize to me for hurting my feelings. She said sorry and then basically undid it by saying she “can’t do shit with ‘I’m sorry’” as if it was her decision to make.
When it was time to talk about this “issue,” after I had cleared my schedule to talk to her, she said she needed a day. Typing this a year later, I cannot believe I put up with this bullshit. She was clearly in the wrong. Why was I apologizing now?
She always brought up exaggerated details after the fact if she was mad at me. First, it was she fixed my resume. Now that she’s mad at me, it’s “I showed your resume to all my friends.” When she told me she wouldn’t come to my funeral if I killed myself, she neglected to mention that she was crying for fifteen minutes until after I threw it back at her because I was pissed. Manipulative bitch.
The last time I saw her--she lives in San Francisco, seeing as her elitist ass thinks Chicago is “dirty”--we were going to Los Angeles for my birthday. I didn’t even want to go during this week, but Ms. Thing failed to mention that she was going to see Janet Jackson during the week we originally agreed on. Janet fucking Jackson. During my birthday week. I wasn’t even that mad, but I should have been. She knew she fucked up. However, If I had done that to her, she would have flamed me. This is the same girl who wanted to go Lloyd Christmas on her roomie and put laxatives in her drink over a lie she was told. 
During the week of the trip, I fucking got my period, which I work to schedule around when I go on vacation because duh. During a hike, it was very hot and I said I wanted to turn around when we were about to go up a particularly steep hill. The first thing this bitch says is, “I knew we were gonna turn around here. I knew Aspyn couldn’t do it.” I was on my period. Going on a hike. In the sweltering Cali heat. During a week I didn’t want to go. And she was making fun of me for being weak. 
Then there’s all the times I low key wanted to cry because of all the taunting and little shit she was saying. It was weird, because none of this happened when we were alone and just us. But around everyone else, her insecurities came out, especially since she thought and even admitted to thinking I was prettier than her. I was essentially taking her shit because I didn’t want her to think I wanted to outshine her even though I did that without trying.
During a trip to Las Vegas, this became even more apparent. We got into a fight during Vegas because I called out her shitty ass attitude. I don’t think it helped that the night before, when we were about to leave, one of her friends we came with Facetimed her, and she gave her the tour. Once her group of guy friends on the other end saw me, they lost their minds. She also neglected to help me with my hair but was extremely quick to tell me I was doing it wrong. It wasn’t until said same friend said, “Well help her out!” She did it, begrudgingly as fuck.
The last straw was back in June 2016. Three way call. The topic was wigs. The girl who joined us mentioned making a wig because of Ali Express’s shit customer service. I said, “oh, it looks easy. I’m sure I can do that.” Moment of confidence, right? Nope, she won’t be having that. She goes, “You don’t have the skills.” Moment crushed. This is when I notice that she does this all the time to make sure I don’t make her feel too bad about herself and she knew I have low confidence. When I express how pissed I am at her, she goes out of her way to explain herself, still being a fucking asshole in the process. The other girl on the line even told her to shut up! Why does she enjoy doing this to me in front of other people? When she tells me that she is now mad that I’m upset, I go silent. She knows when I get silent, it means I’m pissed. Then she thinks it’s funny and starts laughing at the thought of me sitting on the other end with my feelings hurt. She’s still laughing as I say I have to go to sleep. That’s when the last two pics come into play. I was sick of constantly explaining myself to her, so I just pulled the plug on her ass.
When I say my life has gotten better since then. . .I got a new job a few months later. I finally discovered my artistic side. I’m painting and inspired by fucking everything. I’m becoming more confident. I don’t feel like I have this weight over my head telling me to call her or she’ll get pissed at me. I even called her while I was with people, which is fucking rude! She was so demanding to the point where it felt like just talking to her on the phone was a chore.  And it wasn’t even a chore that served my benefit. I was this girl’s free therapy for 11 years. 
I guess this is part two to that post about friendships. Now I’m not saying I didn’t make mistakes as well, and I can definitely be a bad friend at times, as we all can, but you know when shit is not equal and you’re doing all the caring. I’m only saying all this to say that who you let into your life can make a big impact on your well-being and if the shit seems wrong, cut it off. You know the red flags. My friends, parents and total strangers seemed to know she was an asshole. I felt that shit in my soul but ignored it because I was under the impression that time crystallizes everything, even abuse. But fuck that. And don’t feel like you have to suppress yourself in any way for anyone. It’s one thing to do it at work, but if you’re just chilling, you shouldn’t be told you can’t burp--she actually said this and got mad at me for doing it!--act silly or express yourself. A real friend wouldn’t do this to you. Put yourself first. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been to high school together, cried over the same friend deaths together, still remember the old email addresses you had back in high school and hold fond memories of waiting to call after 9 PM. Put yourself first.
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zucchinigal · 7 years ago
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1 - 50 for the end of the year ask meme :*
1. First things first, did you have a good year?
It was kind of a mixed bag. Like, January-May sucked, and September-Now kinda sucked also, but I had the best fucking summer of my life! Like it was constant good things!
2. How old did you turn this year?
21 :3
3. Do you feel your age?
Fuck no. I feel like I’m 12 most of the time
4. Did your appearance change in anyway?
Not really? I let my hair grow a little longer, and I let the purple hair dye from last year fade out (and I bleached the part I would normally dye), but it was more or less different variations on the usual look.
5. Post your favorite selfie.
I will do this in a separate post and tag you in it (don’t have any selfies on my laptop)
6. If you traveled, where did you go?
I went to Connecticut to see the Moody Blues! But that’s about the furthest I went
7. Which fashion trends did you love?
Vintage making a comeback!
8. Which fashion trends did you hate?
Idk, I’m not really up on trends
9. What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?
Uhhhhh… Probably the terrible red and blue paisley button down that looks purple from any distance other than right close up (don’t have pics of it rn sorry!)
10. What song sums up this year for you?
Hmmmm.. Let’s go with “Let Your Troubles Roll By” by Carbon Leaf
So many cities and windows and lives, and through each one there’s a soul that strives to survive, so pay no mind, my sorrow’s fine. The day is alive and that’s why I cry. Like New Year’s Eve, grab your list to conspire. The last snake hissed as he was thrown in the fire. You’ve come far and though you’re far from the end, you don’t mind where you are cos you know where you been
11. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?
There’s three. 
Nothing Rhymes With Woman 2016, which is a rerelease of the album of the same name, by Carbon Leaf (it came out at the tail end of last year, and I got my copy at the beginning of this one)
The Mission by Styx. It’s not too often that an old band like this will surprise drop a new album, let alone a concept album about going to Mars
Every Valley by Public Service Broadcasting. I really love it. Just. What more can I say?12. What was your favorite movie of the year?
You know, I don’t think I’ve seen a movie in theaters at all this year. So idk
13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?
Not really
Favorite new TV show?
Star Trek Discovery!
14. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?
Juno Steel and Peter Nureyev from The Penumbra Podcast. Also I have a personal ship that’s part of a story me and my roommate have been working on
15. What food did you try for the first time?
There’s probably something, but I can’t think of it off the top of my head
16. Did you make any big permanent changes this year?
As an individual, not really. As a member of my family, we finally bought out my aunt and uncle and officially own my grandparents’ house, and are in the process of fixing it up so we can move in (this has been 2 years in the making come February)
17. What was one nice thing you did for someone else?
Supporting my roommate while they were going through some real rough shit
18. What was one nice thing you did for yourself?
Bought myself tickets to see (and meet) the Moody Blues over the summer!
19. Did you develop a new obsession?
I’ve really gotten into ELO in the last few months. Other than that, I just fueled the old ones (*cough* the moodies *cough*)
20. Did you vote?
No, though I should have. To do that I needed to get an absentee and I completely forgot to put in the application for it until it was too late
21. Did you move?
Not exactly. Like I said before, my family is in the process of moving (but it’s really only two blocks away from our old house), and I did some minor moves from college to home to summer apartment to home to college.
22. Did you get a job?
I had a research job up through the end of August
23. Did you get a pet?
I got a new plant if that counts
24. Do you regret not doing anything?
I regret not taking advantage of some of the resources available to me through my college. And some other stuff.
25. Do you regret doing something?
I regret waiting so long to start working on my thesis
26. Have you done anything that scared you?
Oh yes. Lots. I’m scared of everything lol. But like, I took my GRE, I went to Chicago (not on my own, but like, without my parents), I finally got my drivers license! So yeah, many scary things but I did them.
27. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?
Sure. There was some stuff that my roommate said/did because they were going through shit that really got to me and upset me
28. Did you lose anyone close to you?
No, not really
29. Did you fall in love?
yup
30. Did you fall out of love?
Depends on whether or not you count the thing I had back in the spring as “love”, because if you do then yes, if you don’t then no (this has no relation to the last question, because I did in fact fall in love again)
31. Did you start a new relationship?
In a way
32. Did you go through a break up?
I ghosted on a couple of dudes cos I got freaked out, does that count?
33. Did you have to cut ties to someone?
The two dudes I ghosted
34. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?
My good friendo Victoria (because I didn’t really know her then)
35. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?
Idk
36. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?
Most likely
37. What was the best moment of the year for you?
To be quite honest, meeting the Moody Blues. Hands down. Probably in the “Top 10 Moments of My Life” list
38. What was the worst?
The entirety of fall semester collectively
39. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?
You know, honestly I think it was the Moody Blues concert. It was a religious experience in a way, but other than coming out of it happier than I’d been in a long time, it really didn’t change me as a person
40. Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?
The whole thing with my roommate. I am just now starting to realize that it fucked me up waaaaaay more than I thought it did
41. What are you most proud of accomplishing?
Getting my drivers license
42. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?
That people think I’m sweet and kind and trustworthy and cute and happy and that I can help make other people happy even when I’m not happy at all
43. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?
Well, one of my professors I guess, Dr. Stamm
44. Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?
Hooooo boy, oh yes. Two in specific- the treasure of the pagan club at school (of which I am secretary), and another one of my professors, Dr. Steiger
45. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?
I don’t really make resolutions
46. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?
Again, don’t really make resolutions, but I think this year I might set a goal to try to treat myself better and to try to seek out some help for my bad mental health
27. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this?
You know, honestly I think I would like to stay right here at home. I’ve got a lot of adventuring coming up real quick, so I’d like to enjoy the calmness while I can
What do you wish for others for the coming year?
I wish that you all have good years. That things get to be a little less shitty, and that everyone can hold onto a little bit of hope. It’s hard, but I know you can do it. I wish you all good health, and happiness, and I hope something really good happens :D
What do you wish for yourself?
I wish… I wish that I get to feel better mentally, and that I get to have more good times than bad, and that all this stress and anxiety ends up working out and I end up in a better place for it all. I wish for some good things
Boy that was long. Thank you though!!
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