#sorrows and griefs is me
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ok so google docs doesnt recognize when i press ctrl+i or anything anymore, my day is ruined
#does anyone know how to fix it#program malfunction is one way to evaporate my writing energy SOBS#or maybe an alternative to google docs thats way better and not google or something lmao#orz#its literally just. a command#why are you doing this to me#sorrows and griefs is me
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I can't cry... I want to cry... I feel so much sorrow...
#Something about having an expression that isn't yours. About feeling trapped. Muted. (How I've felt especially in 2023.#Literally unable to cry despite how utterly sad I felt)#It's also not about guilt. It's about feeling other's grief and being sorrowful for them.#candlebell art#fan art#Sun and Moon#I posted this unrebloggable at first. 😅 Sincerely interesting to me how it killed the awareness (not sure what word to use) of it#even tho I said I'd change it later. How it got just 20 notes on it's own. xd
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rage.
#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once”#rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish?????#hmmmmmmm#definitely pain#and a hint of fear#no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying#the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was#like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage#well anyway#i don't even care about anatomy at this point#just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character#didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion fanart
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Alas, this beautiful dream could not last.
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#better drawn mdzs#(<- my higher effort art tag. I need to get a new one.) While it's different from my usual style I really loved how this came out!#Strolling back to the art scene to remind everyone I am still a lover of botanicals.#I had a blast with the symbolism for this one:#White lilium longiflorum (easter lily) for rebirth. Purple hyacinthus orientalis for sorrow and forgiveness.#Red spider lily (Lycoris radiata) for loss and death.#'Rebirth into something new' is so well done in Dungeon Meshi. She is back but she is not the same.#The last few episodes/chapters gives her this dreamy quality to her. As if she's not quite real. She's so perfect in their memories.#And as we know of dreams - no matter how sweet- they must end once we wake up.#It is so painful to lose someone twice. To see someone you loved in a dream and wake up and remember that loss again.#Dungeon Meshi being a grief allegory is important to me. I'll explain more as the story continues B'*)
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16Oct24
He took the stage first, just a boy, Now the first one to leave, just a boy. Nothing’s right, hearts are torn, For Liam, we mourn — Knowing Payne means we got to know joy.
#rest in peace liam#liam payne#i'm just so profoundly sad#anne's post moved me from shock to sorrow#be kind to yourself#be kind to others#except simon cowell he can and will rot in hell#just ... fuck#grief is neither linear nor logical#we can love and mourn flawed people#we're grieving the loss of who he was and what he was to us#as well as the loss of his unrealized future#i hope he is at peace#i hope those he hurt can find peace#i hope those that hurt him are haunted by this the rest of their days
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oh fuck merlin following after arthur for five seasons, at his heel following him into every battle, every fight, every quest without regard for his own safety. arthur dying on the shore of that damn lake and merlin dying with him but his body remains. arthur goes to avalon and merlin is forced to stay on earth. merlin can’t follow arthur this time. this is one journey merlin and arthur can’t take together. two halves split and kept apart for over fifteen hundred years. goddamn it. these fucking assholes never fail to make me cry. i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them
#merlin screaming at the lake - screaming at arthur - at how he left him. he left merlin all alone.#merlin is alone and arthur is with all their friends in avalon#gwen tryibg to console merlin over arthurs death by saying that they’ll all be reunited in the otherworld#and that may be true for her and the knights of the round table#but not merlin#merlin will roam the earth for centuries ALONE#its one of the cruelest jokes of the gods#making two people soulmates. theyre each others other half. they are destined to meet and become a legend#they only get ten years together#arthur is taken from merlin. they take his other half. and instead of roaming for forty years in grief and sorrow#they doom him to roam for eternity. soulmates. one who died too young and one who will never meet his end.#soulmates who were destined to meet but never destibed to stay together#FUCK THEM#I HATE THEM#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#angst#its an angst kinda night#i hate them so much#imagine meeting ur literal soulmate. ur other half. half of your soul. and holding them as they die. and end up being immortal.#i would fight god#wtf do you mean by that#nahh nah nah cmere and catch these immortal hands#what are u gonna do? kill me??
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sorrow is the twin of grief.
#which one lives inside you the most?#grief and sorrow are the twins within me#two headed daughter#rot in my core#Siamese twins#conjoined#oddity#gothic#aesthetic#dark photography#creepy#mine#eerie#dark religion#small town gothic
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artificer
#rain world#artificer#artificer rw#rainworld#downpour#downpour spoilers#arti makes me so genuinely sad like we're shown that shes full of rage and grief and uncurable sorrow#AND THEN THE SLEEP SCREEN POPS UP AND 😭😭SHE LOOKS SO SMALL#anyways. sorry the page sizes are all fucked up i was doodling on one canvas and got carried away#my art#comic#blood /#edit: made page 1 into two pages \o/
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my page for @dgm20thproject that i forgot to post...! i worked on the glitch effects on this until the very anguish of this page was screaming at me straight into my burnt out retinas lol
#dgm#dgrayman#dgm20thproject#d gray man#dgm 20th anniversary#allen walker#mana walker#mana d campbell#artists on tumblr#eye strain#eye strain art#glitch aesthetic#bright colors#epilepsy warning#<- jic#... yeah i think the inherent sorrow from this page combined with the literal grief i was going through at the time--#--severely prevented me from posting this on time#i did a second page but icr if we're allowed to post those yet? and im WAYYY less proud of that one LOL#ugh. but yeah i'm super proud of this. sighs#manga that . was my parents for me. in a sense.#i kind of held on to the idea of allen being my friend and real parent for a long time as a kid ngl#i literally have an allen fictive who's a permanent caretaker so yeah lol#i rly wanted to draw something new for the anniversary but. i mean this counts. this definitely counts#anyway yeah. enjoy ;;w;;
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I FUCKING LOVE RELIGIOUS IMAGERY USED FOR AESTHETICS AND SYMBOLISM
#heart with a sword referencing our lady of sorrows representing grief#babtism used for development and new beginnings#judas kiss on the cheek as a sign of betreyal#eating someones blood and flesh as a sign of devotion#the lamb as a symbol of sarcrifice the number 3 being a scary number but also a symbol of the holy trinity#suffering and martyrdom present in stories about religious figures#CROSSES#i found that looking at christianity similar to mythology made me appreciate it more#fuck people who use their religions as a justification to be bigoted tho i hope they all suffer in their respective underworlds#frambling...?#sorry i saw a video abt nuns
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waking up in the middle of the night, gripped by unending sorrow, yelling, sobbing, punching my pillows, because i have forgotten to bury patroclus
#Thou sleepest and hast forgotten me Achilles….#book 23#patroclus#people confounded by this account r so funny to me#it is just dril tweets but the iliad my guy#and also me posting about the iliad while extremely sleep deprived drunk or high trying to mimic the cadence#when there r themes in the posts it is always intentional. i love sorrow and tragedy and grief and rage#mission statement honestly#achilles is a piece of shit and i try to embody that. he is so stupid and annoying and so full of grief. he is soooo doomed#doomed boy i hate you im kissing u so intensely#greatest hits#yall came in on this one so fast what the hell#themes
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LYDIA MARTIN And I've got a lot to pine about. I've got a lot to live without.
You don’t care about getting hurt. But you know how I’ll feel? I’ll be devastated. And if you die, I will literally go out of my freaking mind. You see, death doesn’t happen to you, Lydia. / Unbelievable…you have no idea what you are, do you? The wailing woman.
#(‘...i know you find me extreme in my grief. i bear it hard.’)#do jennifer’s words ever ever leave her? they never utter ‘wail’ again in the series.#when does the myth she was first told about herself being to feel prophetic? because this reveals a change in register—#or a reconciliation with or reminder she can’t outrun of the knowledge that her skull-shattering (the last chimera) skull-crushing (twtm)#weapon of a voice wields immeasurable power but is born of and devoted to immeasurable sorrow and lamentation.#(‘but i tell you i have no choice. it compels. i act because it compels.’)#and that this very part of her being makes tragedy all that more ineluctable for her. (‘i cannot not grieve.’)#lydia martin#stydia#teen wolf#twedit#teenwolfedit#lydiamartinedit#teen wolf: the movie#teenwolfgifs#fyteenwolf#tslyricsedit#cinematv#dailytvwomen#filmgifs#filmedit#‘so i’ll say words i don’t believe’ the idea of a scene like this dizzies me#it’s always about loving someone so much that you would leave them to protect them isn’t it
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i need to share things for my sanity so heres a wip for the triage/throw down illust
currently this is just the concept and a base sketch+colour overlayed lmao but. him
#milgram#shidou kirisaki#wip#i can already tell this piece is gonna make me work on my expressions#i gotta fully convey the devestation. the grief and guilt and sorrow all at once#in the meantime. have a work in progess. gn milgramblr im headed to bed now
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different from the others (1919) dir. richard oswald
#anyone else overwhelmed to the core by grief and love and sorrow and hope or is it just me#my screencaps#different from the others#caps#richard oswald#anders als die andern#early film#b&w#lgbt
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stealing grief from the future is a talent of mine. ever since i was a little kid i always saw the headlights and just stared at them and weeped and i heard the train rattling the traintracks and stared at its inevitable arrival with a heart full of love decaying into grief and sorrow and a mind of dread. people told me there is still time and i clung onto every second because i knew that time they told me of is running out constantly. tick tock tick tock. do you hear the train arriving. do you hear it. do you h
#grief#grief poetry#sorrow#panic#thoughts#life is a constant ticking of time running out and i freeze and weep at the countdown#all i know is that it's going down and i cannot stop it#how long is left is always on the back of my mind#and i do not know the answer#people think i am weird for it#they pity me#i think#i do not know#i grieve for things i have not even lost yet
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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