#sorrows and griefs is me
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ok so google docs doesnt recognize when i press ctrl+i or anything anymore, my day is ruined
#does anyone know how to fix it#program malfunction is one way to evaporate my writing energy SOBS#or maybe an alternative to google docs thats way better and not google or something lmao#orz#its literally just. a command#why are you doing this to me#sorrows and griefs is me
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I can't cry... I want to cry... I feel so much sorrow...
#Something about having an expression that isn't yours. About feeling trapped. Muted. (How I've felt especially in 2023.#Literally unable to cry despite how utterly sad I felt)#It's also not about guilt. It's about feeling other's grief and being sorrowful for them.#candlebell art#fan art#Sun and Moon#I posted this unrebloggable at first. 😅 Sincerely interesting to me how it killed the awareness (not sure what word to use) of it#even tho I said I'd change it later. How it got just 20 notes on it's own. xd
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rage.
#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once”#rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish?????#hmmmmmmm#definitely pain#and a hint of fear#no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying#the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was#like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage#well anyway#i don't even care about anatomy at this point#just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character#didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion fanart
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Alas, this beautiful dream could not last.
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#better drawn mdzs#(<- my higher effort art tag. I need to get a new one.) While it's different from my usual style I really loved how this came out!#Strolling back to the art scene to remind everyone I am still a lover of botanicals.#I had a blast with the symbolism for this one:#White lilium longiflorum (easter lily) for rebirth. Purple hyacinthus orientalis for sorrow and forgiveness.#Red spider lily (Lycoris radiata) for loss and death.#'Rebirth into something new' is so well done in Dungeon Meshi. She is back but she is not the same.#The last few episodes/chapters gives her this dreamy quality to her. As if she's not quite real. She's so perfect in their memories.#And as we know of dreams - no matter how sweet- they must end once we wake up.#It is so painful to lose someone twice. To see someone you loved in a dream and wake up and remember that loss again.#Dungeon Meshi being a grief allegory is important to me. I'll explain more as the story continues B'*)
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16Oct24
He took the stage first, just a boy, Now the first one to leave, just a boy. Nothing’s right, hearts are torn, For Liam, we mourn — Knowing Payne means we got to know joy.
#rest in peace liam#liam payne#i'm just so profoundly sad#anne's post moved me from shock to sorrow#be kind to yourself#be kind to others#except simon cowell he can and will rot in hell#just ... fuck#grief is neither linear nor logical#we can love and mourn flawed people#we're grieving the loss of who he was and what he was to us#as well as the loss of his unrealized future#i hope he is at peace#i hope those he hurt can find peace#i hope those that hurt him are haunted by this the rest of their days
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*Sits at a table with a napkin tucked into my shirt.*
Waiter! Waiter! More Mind angst please!! Make him really fucked up after the Juno incident, give him existential dread about his own mortality pretty please!!!!
Make him afraid of the dark, make him jump at loud sounds and claps of thunder. Give him nightmares he can’t fathom because he’s not supposed to feel like this. He’s not supposed to be ‘flawed’ or ‘wrong’.
Make him despise Heart not only for trying to kill him, but also for bringing him down to his level. He isn’t supposed to experience these emotions, Heart has infected him with fear and indescribable grief. Make him suffer with his humanity.
No matter how you see him, automaton, cyborg, full robot. He’s derived from a human, he can’t escape that fact no matter how hard he tries. The shot only reminds him of how fragile his life is, I think that it fucks him up for a good while.
“Mind forgives in the end, but he does not forget.” - My genius friend
#doodle rambles#for dessert I would like complicated Heart and Mind dynamics#we have lived together our entire lives. we are fundamentally one in the same and you tried to kill me#Mind learning to love Heart again and forgive him is peak fiction where is it#as a huge Heart sympath I will never stop injecting Mind with emotions#he is NOT exempt from sorrow and grief sorry dude you’re a little loser human like the rest of us#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#chonny jash#cj mind#cccc mind
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Feel like Neil couldn’t have been any other kind of actor than one in theatre. If he was a movie actor or on social media or whatnot, it would not be the same. Theatre by nature is fleeting. Recorded mediums can be rewatched over and over, creating a time loop of sorts. We the audience can keep going back to a time when Neil is still alive. Theatre however is live and once the play is over, there is no going back except in our memories. It is much like life. We are forced to live in the moment in a theater lest we miss it altogether. It’s not that the poets choose to live in a world where Neil is dead, it’s that they must because the only other option is to die themselves. I feel like Keatings teachings could only be reflected in stage theatre because that’s the only way there can be no time loop of grief. I think dead poets society itself isn’t about overcoming the authority in your life to do what you want but rather about grief, about allowing oneself to feel grief and all one’s emotions without letting it consume you and to keep living after, to live every day in the moment lest you fall into grief and regret that will destroy you or force you into a miserable life
#just silly ramblings don’t mind me just ignore me 🫣#keating was teaching the boys catharsis as a means of survival and how to process their emotions so they don’t overcome them in a world#that convinces them to pretend they don’t feel at all; that’s why he focuses on the romantics rather than the realists because the romantic#is there to help you process your emotions of sorrow and joy; and that’s why he told Charlie he was misunderstanding the teachings when he#was acting out but not Neil when Neil was trying to get out of the grief over the person he wishes he could be; keating taught him that his#father was standing over an empty grave grieving the son he wanted and that Neil doesn’t have to lie in that grave just to satisfy his#fathers grief but can go to his father as he is and ask him to accept this version of himself and the son he is and his father rejected and#that is why Neil thought the only way to truly overcome his father was by allowing his father to grieve him over grieving the son he wanted#and Mr. Keating was crying over Neil but we don’t see him rage out like the school; Mr. Keating grieved Neil and moved forward with life#whereas all the other administration and Neil’s father will not be able to because they refuse to recognize any emotion but rage so they#feel they must go on a wrathful journey to try to process their grief; idk I think the whole story was about teaching the boys not to be#afraid of their emotions and that they must feel their emotions to process them and get through and I think this message just happens to be#counter to the norm we were told our whole lives but also necessary to be full people and I think that is why this movie sticks with so#many and why so many hold it so dear to them; it’s a story about grief and emotions and moving forward with life after the fact#it’s about feeling in a world that tries to convince you that there are ‘bad’ emotions and that you must not feel certain things and that’s#where overcoming authority comes in and the anti authority message of the franchise stems from#neil perry#dead poets society#dps#dead poets fandom#dps fandom#mr keating#john keating#dps symposium
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sorrow is the twin of grief.
#which one lives inside you the most?#grief and sorrow are the twins within me#two headed daughter#rot in my core#Siamese twins#conjoined#oddity#gothic#aesthetic#dark photography#creepy#mine#eerie#dark religion#small town gothic
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oh fuck merlin following after arthur for five seasons, at his heel following him into every battle, every fight, every quest without regard for his own safety. arthur dying on the shore of that damn lake and merlin dying with him but his body remains. arthur goes to avalon and merlin is forced to stay on earth. merlin can’t follow arthur this time. this is one journey merlin and arthur can’t take together. two halves split and kept apart for over fifteen hundred years. goddamn it. these fucking assholes never fail to make me cry. i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them
#merlin screaming at the lake - screaming at arthur - at how he left him. he left merlin all alone.#merlin is alone and arthur is with all their friends in avalon#gwen tryibg to console merlin over arthurs death by saying that they’ll all be reunited in the otherworld#and that may be true for her and the knights of the round table#but not merlin#merlin will roam the earth for centuries ALONE#its one of the cruelest jokes of the gods#making two people soulmates. theyre each others other half. they are destined to meet and become a legend#they only get ten years together#arthur is taken from merlin. they take his other half. and instead of roaming for forty years in grief and sorrow#they doom him to roam for eternity. soulmates. one who died too young and one who will never meet his end.#soulmates who were destined to meet but never destibed to stay together#FUCK THEM#I HATE THEM#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#angst#its an angst kinda night#i hate them so much#imagine meeting ur literal soulmate. ur other half. half of your soul. and holding them as they die. and end up being immortal.#i would fight god#wtf do you mean by that#nahh nah nah cmere and catch these immortal hands#what are u gonna do? kill me??
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This still makes me very happy. King of Sorrow u will live on forevar
#cricket chirping#sonic#klonoa#Klonoa is still a pretty niche series so it makes me happy knowing Kit's design was inspired by a Klonoa character#One of my favorites too :] representations of grief and mourning my beloved#kit the fennec#kitsunami the fennec#king of sorrow
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artificer
#rain world#artificer#artificer rw#rainworld#downpour#downpour spoilers#arti makes me so genuinely sad like we're shown that shes full of rage and grief and uncurable sorrow#AND THEN THE SLEEP SCREEN POPS UP AND 😭😭SHE LOOKS SO SMALL#anyways. sorry the page sizes are all fucked up i was doodling on one canvas and got carried away#my art#comic#blood /#edit: made page 1 into two pages \o/
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my page for @dgm20thproject that i forgot to post...! i worked on the glitch effects on this until the very anguish of this page was screaming at me straight into my burnt out retinas lol
#dgm#dgrayman#dgm20thproject#d gray man#dgm 20th anniversary#allen walker#mana walker#mana d campbell#artists on tumblr#eye strain#eye strain art#glitch aesthetic#bright colors#epilepsy warning#<- jic#... yeah i think the inherent sorrow from this page combined with the literal grief i was going through at the time--#--severely prevented me from posting this on time#i did a second page but icr if we're allowed to post those yet? and im WAYYY less proud of that one LOL#ugh. but yeah i'm super proud of this. sighs#manga that . was my parents for me. in a sense.#i kind of held on to the idea of allen being my friend and real parent for a long time as a kid ngl#i literally have an allen fictive who's a permanent caretaker so yeah lol#i rly wanted to draw something new for the anniversary but. i mean this counts. this definitely counts#anyway yeah. enjoy ;;w;;
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I FUCKING LOVE RELIGIOUS IMAGERY USED FOR AESTHETICS AND SYMBOLISM
#heart with a sword referencing our lady of sorrows representing grief#babtism used for development and new beginnings#judas kiss on the cheek as a sign of betreyal#eating someones blood and flesh as a sign of devotion#the lamb as a symbol of sarcrifice the number 3 being a scary number but also a symbol of the holy trinity#suffering and martyrdom present in stories about religious figures#CROSSES#i found that looking at christianity similar to mythology made me appreciate it more#fuck people who use their religions as a justification to be bigoted tho i hope they all suffer in their respective underworlds#frambling...?#sorry i saw a video abt nuns
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waking up in the middle of the night, gripped by unending sorrow, yelling, sobbing, punching my pillows, because i have forgotten to bury patroclus
#Thou sleepest and hast forgotten me Achilles….#book 23#patroclus#people confounded by this account r so funny to me#it is just dril tweets but the iliad my guy#and also me posting about the iliad while extremely sleep deprived drunk or high trying to mimic the cadence#when there r themes in the posts it is always intentional. i love sorrow and tragedy and grief and rage#mission statement honestly#achilles is a piece of shit and i try to embody that. he is so stupid and annoying and so full of grief. he is soooo doomed#doomed boy i hate you im kissing u so intensely#greatest hits#yall came in on this one so fast what the hell#themes
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LYDIA MARTIN And I've got a lot to pine about. I've got a lot to live without.
You don’t care about getting hurt. But you know how I’ll feel? I’ll be devastated. And if you die, I will literally go out of my freaking mind. You see, death doesn’t happen to you, Lydia. / Unbelievable…you have no idea what you are, do you? The wailing woman.
#(‘...i know you find me extreme in my grief. i bear it hard.’)#do jennifer’s words ever ever leave her? they never utter ‘wail’ again in the series.#when does the myth she was first told about herself being to feel prophetic? because this reveals a change in register—#or a reconciliation with or reminder she can’t outrun of the knowledge that her skull-shattering (the last chimera) skull-crushing (twtm)#weapon of a voice wields immeasurable power but is born of and devoted to immeasurable sorrow and lamentation.#(‘but i tell you i have no choice. it compels. i act because it compels.’)#and that this very part of her being makes tragedy all that more ineluctable for her. (‘i cannot not grieve.’)#lydia martin#stydia#teen wolf#twedit#teenwolfedit#lydiamartinedit#teen wolf: the movie#teenwolfgifs#fyteenwolf#tslyricsedit#cinematv#dailytvwomen#filmgifs#filmedit#‘so i’ll say words i don’t believe’ the idea of a scene like this dizzies me#it’s always about loving someone so much that you would leave them to protect them isn’t it
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i need to share things for my sanity so heres a wip for the triage/throw down illust
currently this is just the concept and a base sketch+colour overlayed lmao but. him
#milgram#shidou kirisaki#wip#i can already tell this piece is gonna make me work on my expressions#i gotta fully convey the devestation. the grief and guilt and sorrow all at once#in the meantime. have a work in progess. gn milgramblr im headed to bed now
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