#soraya chemaly

[radfemreader]

I made my url with the intention of posting book reviews - is this the year I actually do it? maybe!

The first book I finished this year was Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly.

This was a reread, this time I read it with my feminist book club which really added to the experience. (If you're in the Midwest of the USA and interested in meeting radical feminists near you, DM me for an invite to the discord!)

This book is pitched as an exploration of the power of women's anger. It does touch on that topic throughout, but it's more so an argument for why we need feminism. Each chapter focuses on a topic, for example motherhood or sexual violence, and describes the way women are and have been treated using both results from studies and examples or anecdotes from the author or the news. I appreciated the seriousness and the scope - this didn't fall into the libfem girl power trap that a lot of mainstream feminist books do, and seemed well researched and well cited.

It can be very relentless reading, particularly the section on violence, and I found the bulk of the book rather disheartening. This isn't exactly a flaw, it's just painful to read about everything women face laid out in this way. I can imagine it would be very eye opening for someone who is maybe not really convinced that we still need feminism, or who hasn't been familiar with the extent to which women suffer under patriarchy.

With that in mind, I'd recommend this book as a gift for your casual libfem friend or your mildly misogynistic family member. If you're already familiar with feminism, as I assume those reading this review are, I'd recommend reading the intro, the last chapter, and the conclusion. Could also be a good reference for further reading from its sources.

[gaerfinn]

[feywildfancypants]

This book taught me that anger was ok to feel, and in fact was the first step on my journey to loving myself. Anger is our first warning against something being wrong, which means that we understand that we deserve something better. It can be a powerful tool in building something more.

Rage Become Her: the power of women’s anger by Soraya Chemly

[iron-sparrow]

Anger is freedom, independence, expansiveness, and entitlement. It is justice, passion, clarity, and motivation. Anger is instrumental, thoughtful, complicated, and resolved. In anger, whether you like it or not, there is truth.

[radifemsara]

Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why.

We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive, or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for it, and asked if it would kill us to smile. Yes, yes it would.

Contrary to the rhetoric of popular “self-help” and an entire lifetime of being told otherwise, our rage is one of the most important resources we have, our sharpest tool against both personal and political oppression. We’ve been told for so long to bottle up our anger, letting it corrode our bodies and minds in ways we don’t even realize. Yet our anger is a vital instrument, our radar for injustice and a catalyst for change. On the flip side, the societal and cultural belittlement of our anger is a cunning way of limiting and controlling our power.

We are so often told to resist our rage or punished for justifiably expressing it, yet how many remarkable achievements in this world would never have gotten off the ground without the kernel of anger that fueled them?

— "Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger", by Soraya Chemaly

[edwardian-masquerade]

"The anger we have as women is an act of radical imagination. Angry women burn brighter than the sun. In the coming years, we will hear, again, that anger is a destructive force, to be controlled. Watch carefully, because not everyone is asked to do this in equal measure."

-Soraya Chemaly, Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

[the-forest-library]

August 2024 Reads

The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

Slow Dance - Rainbow Rowell

The Break-Up Pact - Emma Lord

Last Seen Online - Lauren James

All's Fair in Love and War - Virginia Heath

A Shore Thing - Joanna Lowell

You Should Be So Lucky - Cat Sebastian

This Spells Love - Kate Robb

Where Are You, Echo Blue? - Hayley Krischer

My Antonia - Willa Cather

The Girl in Question - Tess Sharpe

The Only Light Left Burning - Erik J. Brown

Death at Morning House - Maureen Johnson

Hawkeye: Bishop Takes King - Ashley Poston

Across a Field of Starlight - Blue Delliquanti

Show Up and Vote - Ani DiFranco

A Product of Genetics and Day Drinking - Jess H. Gutierrez

The Hard Parts - Oksana Masters

Rage Becomes Her - Soraya Chemaly

The Genius of Judy - Rachelle Bergstein

Me Vs Brain - Hayley Morris

Forever Barbie - M.G. Lord

It's Not Hysteria - Karen Tang

The New Menopause - Mary Claire Haver

The Nervous System Reset - Jessica Maguire

The Modern Trauma Toolkit - Christy Gibson

Small Talk - Richard Pink

Girls Just Wanna Have Funds - Emma Due Bitz

Please Unsubscribe, Thanks! - Julio Vincent Gambit

Work Won't Love You Back - Sarah Jaffe

The Tree Collectors - Amy Stewart

Cowpuppy - Gregory Berns

Bold = Highly Recommend

Italics = Worth It

Crossed Out = Nope

Thoughts:  Unfortunately this month was marked by some disappointments (eagerly anticipated reads: Slow Dance, Last Seen Online) and (sequels to books I loved: The Girl in Question, The Only Light Left Burning), but The Pairing restored my faith in Casey McQuiston and left me desperate for a European food and wine tour.

Goodreads Goal: 289/300 2017 Reads | 2018 Reads | 2019 Reads | 2020 Reads | 2021 Reads| 2022 Reads | 2023 Reads | 2024 Reads

[alicntsdnce]

mark strand, from seven poems // brynne rebele-henry, from self-portrait as a broken venus statuette // soraya chemaly, from rage becomes her: the power of women’s anger // audre lorde, from sister love: the letters of audre lorde & pat parker // anne carson, from plainwater: essays and poetry // caitlyn siehl, from cut // dan pagis, from dead apocalyptic poems // rainer maria rilke, from rilker’s book of hours // katie maria, from the memory of a memory // mieko kawakami, from heaven 

[theonlysparkle2]

"Angry women burn brighter than the sun "

Soraya Chemaly, in Rage Becomes Her

[plasticwerewolf]

Dennis + Feminine Rage and the Feminine Mystique

--

John William Waterhouse//Mac and Dennis Move to the Suburbs//Paris Paloma//Betty Friedan//Soraya Chemaly//Artemisia Gentileschi// Mac and Dennis Move to the Suburbs//Suzanne Buffam

[maaarine]

Night Vision: Seeing Ourselves Through Dark Moods (Mariana Alessandri, 2023)

"A society that equates a woman’s strength with her capacity to bottle up her grievances, a society that admonishes us with the perennial reminder that someone else has it worse, a society that hands her a self-help book instead of admitting that she has a raw deal, is a society full of sick women.

In Rage Becomes Her, the anger expert Soraya Chemaly discusses a study that found that “anger is the single, most salient emotional contributor to pain.”

And because women suffer more silently than men, Chemaly concludes, anger affects women’s bodies in ways we have not even realized yet.

What my sweet Minnesotan cousin has been calling “chronic pelvic pain” might also very well be repressed anger.

After all, we’ve learned that when we swallow anger it does not disappear.

We have also heard that when we express it (as boys are more often encouraged to), we survive.

In one study cited by Chemaly, breast cancer patients who ex- pressed their anger survived at twice the rate of those who kept it in."

[b3lialx]

“sex segregation and exclusion aren’t legitimate responses to women’s demands that we no longer, as a society, tolerate sexual discrimination in the workplace” - Soraya Chemaly on the “Pence rule”

[soracities]

Hi, I hope this ask finds you well. Life has been chronically & impossibly unfair to me. I try to deal with things as best I can, perservere & attempt to move through things with as much grace as possible, try to find beauty & gratitude where I can. But some things weigh so heavy. I think sometimes there is a place for anger.

My question is, do you have any quotes you could share on anger? or betrayal? Or any book recommendations where those themes come into play? I think it could be somewhat cathartic, and it would be so appreciated.

Thank you. ❤️

Hi lovely! I'm really sorry that you're going through so much, and I can only imagine the frustration and exhaustion of it all. The most I have is a quote compilation here. As for book recommendations, I've been recced Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly a few times, so maybe there will be something there for you also. I hope you are able to find an outlet for everything you're feeling and carrying right now and that you are able to move through it in the healthiest way possible for you 💕

[blacklezrage]

How do I get my friend to read rad leaning material without scaring her away? I’m 18, a lesbian, and she’s my only lesbian friend. I love her very much and want her to be happy with herself as a lesbian and young woman. Radfem content helped me when I was sexually assaulted and realize that being a woman isn’t a horrible curse. She feels estranged from womanhood and has grown to resent other women because of her experience with being bullied by them. In high school, she would be pushed out of the locker room by the straight girls bc they thought she would “perv out” on them. She’s lost friends when she came out, her mother is also very homophobic and has called her a dyke more than once and makes fun of her for not being as girly. She’s also very hateful towards her body because she thinks having a bigger chest makes her look sloppy, slutty, and saggy and has hinted at “chopping them off”. I remember feeling hateful towards by downstairs area because porn made me feel like my vagina was ugly because my labia wasn’t bleached pink and tiny. So I think rad leaning content would help, but she’s been reading more trans content which I think would harm her if she ever decided to chop her boobs off instead of learning that they don’t make her sloppy and that there’s nothing wrong with having breast that aren’t perky like in porn.

i was putting off answering this because to be honest, i'm still struggling to get my best friend to see the value of being a womon (and breaking up with her shitty bf), and i didn't want to give you bad advice, but i guess something is better than nothing

i'm not going to lie. my work with my friend has been less "here's this book to read" and more "why do you think you're feeling that way?" and "is this something you believe or is it something you feel people want you to believe?" the thing i think helped her the most was me creating a space where she can be away from men and can speak her mind without being afraid of being judged. also incredibly important was helping her start the healing process between her and her mom, but that isn't feasible with every womon obviously

she had absolutely no idea of any feminist history (and she and i are both usamericans), so before i recommended any books to her, i recommended her "Mrs. America," which is a single season show following the fight to ratify the ERA in the 70s. it features fictionalized versions of womyn like Betty Friedan, Shirley Chisolm, Gloria Steinem, and Phyllis Schlafly (renowned anti-feminist, but whoever wrote the show at least understood the gist of Right Wing Women). this helped her (a) realize how important the rights of womyn are and how easily they're taken away and (b) that (second-wave/radical) feminists weren't just a group a man-hating racist white ladies like everyone online claims

it wasn't until after all that that i recommended her the book Dietland by Sarai Walker. it's fictional, but in my opinion, it offers a great beginning into radfem ideology. it follows a fat womon who's waiting to live her life until she's skinny as a sort of coming-into-her-own story, but then it takes a turn into some wild (but very much connected) areas including:

womyn's separatism

exploring same-sex attraction

anti-porn activism

an anti-beauty book called "Fuckability Theory"

and a feminist terrorist group

she actually just borrowed my copy of Anita Diamant's The Red Tent (also fiction), which is a feminist retelling of Dinah, a character from biblical canon. i actually don't remember the book that well (only read it once) but i really enjoyed it, and i actually think that book made me want to go to womyn's land badly enough to actually go

one of the biggest books that helped me personally was Soraya Chemaly's Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger (i read that alongside Brittany Cooper's Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower which is more of a memoir, so i'd recommend Rage Becomes Her first). these were basically the first two rad-leaning (although Eloquent Rage isn't necessarily radical feminist) books i read and they lit a fire under me. they both helped me realize how much negative energy i was directing toward myself and helped me gain back my ability to speak up and be unafraid

Audre Lorde, imo, is essential lesbian reading, so i'd recommend Sister Outsider, as well. it's a collection of essays, so it's a great start into her works and worldview

i think Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie is also a good starting point (if she hasn't been indoctrinated to be afraid of her), but i've only read We Should All Be Feminists and Dear Ijeawele (A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)

i had a moment of courage and sent my friend a request on goodreads, and now whenever i'm reading a radfem text, she usually asks me about it and will sometimes add it to her reading list

i've definitely been where your friend has been, and i'm sorry to hear she's dealing with so much pressure... i think even more important than the books is for you to continue to support her and be there for her and listen to her, everything she says. help her stop apologizing, help her take up space, help her find her voice. make sure she knows that her unique experience/perspective matters. but also, don't be afraid to disagree with her. it may take being challenged for her to realize what she really believes

[bianca-alexander88]

Any woman interested in her own equality would do well to avoid men and institutions that claim to want nothing more than to protect her. — Soraya Chemaly 

[armen-the-quote-guy]

Women should be angry about the violence and fear that inform so much of our lives. So should men. Soraya Chemaly