#soon we return to abi

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [06] who i am, who am i?

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sypnosis. [ 1.3k words. no warnings. ] — as the dream gets more vivid, so does your will to discover who you truly are to Xiao.

usagi's note: i didn't attend my class today, so here i edited this early just because hehe, also wdyt aby my new theme (ily clorinde)

You dream of him once again.

Xiao.

And you know it really is him because you hear what he says this time. He talks to you the same way he did when he told you not to leave him again.

It's unfamiliar to you, the tone he speaks in, you don't know it's name, you don't know what to make of it, but you can feel it in the dreams.

And this time, when you wake, you remember bits and pieces of the dream. Some still slip from the net of your mind, but you remember those that linger.

This time it was in a field.

(Xiao was walking beside you, it felt like you were watching a show. You couldn't hear what he was talking about, but the place you're in was familiar.

And you know you've seen this while on patrol with him.

You can see his mouth moving but you can't hear what he's saying.

When he turns to look at you and smiles…

You wake.)

It leaves you more frustrated, being so close to finding out who Xiao really is to you- or rather who you are to him, but the dream remnants keep slipping and you're forced to leave the dream memories.

You have to find answers.

…

Verr sees you at dawn, fully dressed and carrying a satchel of your books and papers.

“Oh, where are you going, sweetheart?”

You halt in place, “The harbor, Miss Verr, I’m going to meet Baizhu-yisheng,”

Her eyebrow raises, “This early?”

“It's an emergency,”

“Wouldn't it be faster with your Adeptus?” she asks, but before she could finish with her question, you were already out of the room.

“Bye, Miss Verr!”

…

See, lying to the woman who took care of you constantly when Xiao wasn't around did make you feel very guilty. But you weren't exactly sure if Xiao would allow you to talk to Ganyu alone.

The past few weeks he has been more present, he eats with you now, asks how your lessons with Baizhu have gone, he keeps you closer during patrols.

After that… kiss (as you've learned from Baizhu, who was very surprised to have learned that Xiao was the one who initiated), he has been somewhat closer to you. More allowing of touch and help.

But he still does not talk much and the dreams get more and more vivid as the time passes.

At the bridge of the harbor, you felt the restrictions Morax had told you about, it was a miracle you even made it this far.

You could see the gold threads in your veins pulsing with light under your sleeves as you fought to walk all the way to Ganyu’s workplace.

Your body and mind keeps telling you you should turn back, return to Xiao, be by his side. But you know you have to get answers.

The dreams are dreams, and as you've told Morax, it has to mean something.

The man of course did not answer your inquiries, only telling you that he'll tell you in due time, sometime soon, he says.

The moment you make it, Madame Ping is there. She urges you to sit as she sees your barely conscious form, as she retrieves Ganyu for you.

The headache feels like you're about to split your head.

…

Ganyu is more than happy to tell you what she knows, but it also leaves you at a dead end.

“We were in different encampments during the war,” she explains, “I stayed with Madam Guizhong, while he stayed with Rex Lapis,”

She puts a finger to her chin as she thinks, “Though I did hear from Indarias that he had a human with him most of time, he became um… what's the term, a bodyguard! Yes, he became a bodyguard for them,”

“Did… did you know anything else about them?”

Ganyu shakes her head, “No, sadly, after that news, the Great War descended rapidly, and I lost contact with Xiao and the other Adepti for a while,”

“The next time we met was when Rex Lapis was hailed as the Geo Archon and we were rebuilding Liyue,”

You stared down at the cup of tea at defeat. The headache was even worse and Ganyu noticed it.

“Hey, are you sure you don't want to take this back to Wangshu Inn?” she asks.

“No, he'll know I'm here if we return,”

“Can't he sense you?”

You shake your head, “No, I learned how to conceal adeptal energy from Morax-shen,”

Her face goes into surprise, “That's… very impressive, wow, not even a millenia old and you've already mastered it?”

She smiles at you, “You're learning well,”

“Thank you,” you smile, then sigh, “I still haven't found out who that human was to him…”

It's Madame Ping that speaks now, “The human was a healer,” she began.

She pours another cup of tea for her and Ganyu as she continues, “The reason he was assigned to them was because healers were the first to be killed off.”

“In a war, it makes sense to do such a thing to ensure brute force and violence would hail victory,”

She places the teapot down, “The Conqueror of Demons fell in love with that human.”

Ganyu shows surprise as everything clicks for you. But it doesn't make sense, if they fell in love with that human, why am I having dreams about their time together?

“She died during the war,” Madame Ping tells you gravely.

“Oh.”

“How cruel,” Ganyu whispers.

A new voice joins the discussion, “After the war, he was assigned to Wangshu Inn as his base of operations,”

“Morax-shen!”

He smiles, “I wasn't informed there was a tea party,” he says as he takes a seat.

You say nothing as you watch him sip on the cup.

“Will you tell me now?”

His eyes flit to you, “I suppose it is time,”

…

He feels the pull of the life bond the moment you're out of the radius.

Why? he keeps asking his mind, Why would you leave? Where would you go? Did you leave on your own or were you taken? Why would you leave him again?

He can't find you, he can't sense you, and he's going insane. Xiao warps to the highest point of Wangshu Inn and desperately tries to find you.

He can feel your anguish, the pulsing of your veins, but he can't sense where you are.

Just come back. Please, just come back.

He can hear his heart thrumming in his chest, his throat tightens, and he- he realises this is exactly how he felt when he couldn't find you.

When he couldn't save you.

“Xiao…” the wind carries your voice to him.

Just like last time.

“...Find me where we last departed…”

What?

…

Morax has told you the truth.

What exactly is wrong with Xiao, but that he has no idea how to treat it, only to temper the symptoms.

Who exactly you are to Xiao, how you were that human from half a century ago, how you died during a camp invasion as they were busy fighting off in the North.

How you were made specifically for Xiao. Not only so that you can heal him, but also because you were his lover.

It made sense. A god wanting his warrior a chance to rest. To live the life he was unable to when he wasin the war.

Rex Lapis was a merciful god.

He tells you where you died.

…

Xiao find you in the same river where you died in his arms.

He stares, not knowing what to do.

Was this punishment? Did he really piss his god off that he was given you and you were to be killed again in front off him? In the same place you were taken from him all those years ago?

Instead he hears you hum a song he has not heard of in a long time.

A song he taught to the past you.

Lover's Oath.

He takes one step forward and the water beneath his feet makes a splash.

You turn.

The breath in his lungs disappates.

“Xiao,” you smile, “I'm back,”

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usagi's note: im so happy i might finish editing the last three parts of this later or sometime over the weekend anyway pls tell me what u thought abt it, and as always take care!! o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o PLEASE NOTICE HOW I WROTE THAT U CALLED HIM XIAO INSTEAD OF XIANSHENG.

taglist (open! green can't be tagged): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss @femaholicc

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Assignment of the Duty of the Prophethood and First Muslims

Hazrat Abu Bakr is in the Rank of Muslims

Hazrat Abu Bakr had been one of our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) closest friends for a very long time. They would get together and meet with one another in a very sincere fashion.

His most striking feature was that the ugly customs, bad manners, and lifestyle of the Age of Ignorance had not corrupted his disposition and that disbelief had not contaminated his mind, heart, and soul. He was a renowned merchant. The tribe’s leading figures always benefited from his ideas. He was the one who had solved the blood feuds of the Quraysh. Another one of his important characteristics was that he knew the ancestries, pedigrees, strengths, and flaws of the families of Quraysh very well.

Our Master (PBUH) had just begun to openly deliver his invitation. However, his cause had spread from ear to ear and it was heard by the leading figures of the Quraysh.

Hazrat Abu Bakr had just returned from his journey to Yemen. Abu Jahl, Ukba bin Abi Muayt, and some of the Quraysh’s leading figures went to his home to welcome him. Hazrat Abu Bakr asked, “What happened while I was away from Mecca? Is there any important news?”

They answered, “Oh Abu Bakr, there is a huge affair! Abu Talib’s orphan, Muhammad, has claimed to be a prophet. We deemed it suitable to wait until you returned from Yemen. Go to your friend and do whatever is necessary.”

Hazrat Abu Bakr immediately went to the home of the Master of the Universe (PBUH):  “Oh, Aba’l Qasim! Is it true that you claim to be a prophet, and that you have separated from the tribe, and have rejected and have reviled the religion of your forefathers?”

At first, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) smiled at the words of Abu Bakr, who he had been friends with since childhood. He said, “Oh Abu Bakr, I am Allah’s Messenger who has been sent to you and all humanity. I invite humanity to the one true God (Allah). You should testify as well.”

At one moment, lightning flashed in the realms of Abu Bakr’s mind and heart. He was hearing these words from the Muhammad the Trustworthy (PBUH), his friend whom he had known very well since childhood, the person whom he sincerely loved and respected, and the one from whose lips he never heard a word that contradicted truth. Without hesitating, he immediately embraced Islam and became a Muslim. 

Our Master (PBUH) considered Abu Bakr’s not showing any sign of hesitation in the face of this invitation as a huge virtue by saying:

“Everyone whom I invited to Islam, with the exception of Abu Bakr, paused, hesitated, or was astonished. However, when I explained Islam to him, he neither paused nor hesitated.” 

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was extremely happy that his esteemed friend had become a Muslim. In regards to this matter, our mother, Hazrat Aisha, related the following:

“No event has made our Holy Prophet (PBUH) happier than Hazrat Abu Bakr converting to Islam in the world.”

A dream that Hazrat Abu Bakr had seen beforehand at a much earlier point in time came true in the following way: In his dream, he saw that a moon had descended to Mecca. It then split into segments and spread to the homes in the city. Afterwards, he saw the reassembling of the pieces and the entering of the moon into its own home.

At that time, some scholars among the people of the book interpreted the dream. They said the awaited prophet would arise from Mecca very soon and that Abu Bakr would follow him and take his place among the fortunate. 

Hazrat Abu Bakr did not hesitate to openly disclose that he had become a Muslim.

His conversion to Islam caused a great echo among the Quraysh since he was an esteemed, reliable, sound individual who was always true to his word. His amiability and sweet nature had made him beloved to the tribe.

Hazrat Abu Bakr represented the first link on the chain of Muslim men that were free. Due to his conversion to Islam, this chain of faith slightly widened, the roads expanded further, and the fortunate that walked on the straightforward streets increased. Including Hazrat Bilal-Habashi, the following were the first representatives in the various classes to have become Muslims:

From the women, it was Hazrat Khadija,

From the children, it was Hazrat Ali,

From the free men, it was Hazrat Abu Bakr,

From the freed slaves it was Zayd bin Kharisa,

From the slaves it was Hazrat Bilal-Habashi (Radiyallahu Anhum).

[abybweisse]

Hey Aby! In anticipation of the 205 chapter, I decided to go back and re-read Mey-Rin's and Bard's for clues of what may happen next to Snake and Finny. I noticed something interesting with both arcs - they both seem to hint at what their ultimate fates will be. While Bard's arc is all about meeting with wife and son while in a coma and he practically promises to return to them, Mey-Rin is an unwitting witness to a sex act, in an uncharacteristically graphic scene for Yana. Do you think that death is ultimately on the cards for Bard and (I guess) a marriage for Mey-Rin? Or is it all contained to their arcs themselves and does not mean anything beyond completing a mission?

⚠️ long post ⚠️

Assignments as foreshadowing?

I think that if Mey-Rin gets married, it would not be foreshadowed by her seeing sex acts through a keyhole.

She joined Qīng Bāng at a very young age and worked as a sniper, but she saw a lot going on around her. Well, as much as she could see without glasses. There were drugs, alcohol, and probably prostitution in and around the opium den, as well as throughout Limehouse district. One of her early assignments as an assassin was to shoot this guy at a hotel or perhaps in his own huge manor, right? He was a rival gang leader, and she shoots him while he's naked with some unnamed woman. He might have even been right in the middle of having sex when she shoots him. She's witnessed a lot in her young life.... Getting married to anyone would be despite the things she has seen and done. Reminds me of how Katniss finally settles down and has kids in The Hunger Games, even though she's been thoroughly traumatized by her experiences. So far, at least, Mey-Rin seems to have kept her mind pretty well intact. I hope she can continue to do so.

I think we can safely say she has somehow managed to remain a virgin up to this point, too. Otherwise, Georg von Siemens' inappropriate actions towards her wouldn't have been enough to make her question whether she was still worthy of marriage. Going by "Rin" and dressing as a boy until she joins the Phantomhive household might have been partly to protect her virtue. Good thing Haku was apparently only interested in her sniper abilities.

In Baldo's case, the interaction with Joanna and his son might be an indication he will have to break whatever promises he's made to them. At least for now. I mean, his claim he can now properly cook fried eggs is an exaggeration "Sebastian" calls out even before Baldo can fully return to the living realm.

I put Seb in quotations because I'm not sure whether Sebastian has infiltrated Baldo's coma or if he's just a nagging figment of his imagination.

Then again, maybe he will soon join them. We still don't have confirmation that he and the others safely made it out of Athena Sanatorium, thanks to a cliffhanger and moving on to the next assignment, with Finny and Snake. Next time we see Baldo et alia, they might be trying to take leave of the place... when Polaris freaking shows up, mad as all hell. Even if Ronald and William stick around and actually enter the fray (since it's another bizarre doll to take down), I don't see it ending too well. Baldo does seem to have this uncanny ability to survive, though, even if everyone else around him doesn't....

Either way, I highly doubt he will ever make it to Shanghai with the others, even if the others do. And if he stays in England and somehow still survives to the end of the series, this is most likely a false promise, as well:

Mostly because he's just that terrible in the kitchen.

I still somewhat hope Mey-Rin and Baldo end up together, despite their age difference. At least she is an adult already. Also, it was a very common practice in Victorian England for older men to marry much younger women, especially if those men were widowers. Much like Katniss again, perhaps Mey-Rin would only pair well with a man who has experienced much of the same trauma. Likewise, Baldo might now have trouble settling down with some completely innocent sort of woman. Katniss and Peeta go through the deadly and maddening games together. Baldo's been altered by war and losing his wife and son. Mey-Rin has been altered by her years as an assassin for a drug dealer and gang. Mey-Rin and Baldo have both been enlisted as servants for our earl, chosen because of their abilities and previous training; now they volunteer as pawns in this deadly game of chess against their young master's brother. Perhaps their bond will be strengthened by all this... if they live to see the end of it.

The main thing the first two assignments have in common, besides their basic instructions, is that Mey-Rin and Baldo each flashback to the events directly leading up to being offered positions as our earl's servants. Mey-Rin's flashback is triggered by Jane offering her the opportunity to switch sides. Her flashback shows us why her loyalty stays with our earl and Sebastian -- with the Phantomhive household.

Baldo's is triggered by Ada admitting her guilt as a survivor during warfare; Baldo feels much the same.

And he also develops loyalty towards our earl, Sebastian, and the other servants. Just like Jane ends up aiding the infiltrators, so does Ada.

As I'm typing this up, I realize "hunger games" describes both Mey-Rin's and Baldo's lives before: Mey-Rin is once fooled into biting a boot and is regularly given moldy bread to eat... while Baldo's battlefield starvation tempts him to cannibalize his fallen comrades. Sebastian barely arrives in the nick of time to stop him from eating the arm of Terry, or whoever that poor dead dude was, if it wasn't Terry. Sebastian shows up with a picnic basket filled with afternoon tea items and possibly more. The first thing our earl does to extend any kindness to Mey-Rin is provide her with the first hot, freshly prepared meal she's had in ages, perhaps as far back as she can remember.

Back to their assignments; they are paired with people who are in our earl's network but are not his servants. But Finny and Snake (and his snakes) are both Phantomhive servants, so do we get a major flashback from Finny, from Snake, from both, or from neither one? So far, Finny is having single-panel flashbacks and even briefly stating things he recalls to Snake and the top students. The orphanage reminds Finny of the research facility in some ways, and that could segue him into a major flashback. Since Doll is there, she could trigger Snake into one. However, before the assignments, they were the two we already knew the most backstory for, and we might never learn all that much more about either one. To deal with both characters, we might just continue to get tiny snippets here and there.

But Mey-Rin has a choice to make -- choose Jane's offer or remain loyal to our earl. She remains loyal, and Jane even helps her and Ran-Mao break up the blood collection operations there before parting ways. Mey-Rin and Ran-Mao just need to get to our earl and make their report.

Baldo still has a choice to make -- stay in England and return to our earl... or go with Lau and the others to China. Like I said before, he might never get to China, even if he tries. I do expect him to ultimately end up staying behind, possibly loaded down with fresh feelings of survivor's guilt. If Ada is still around when we get back to them, she might also decide to stay back and help Baldo take down the Aurora Society.

With Finny and Snake, I don't think Finny's loyalty could ever come into doubt. His choice might come down to whether he has to fight Snake. But I don't think Finny will see much, if any, choice in the matter if it comes to that.

Snake is probably about to hear Doll's full tale about the circus members' fates. Then his choice (and the choices of his individual snakes) is to either help Doll get revenge... or attempt to destroy her and shut down the orphanage. Snake is the last to join our earl's household, so he could end up the first to leave it (I don't think Tanaka has truly left). There's also the possibility that one of his snakes, like Emily, chooses Doll and must be eliminated.

There is foreshadowing in each assignment, but most of that pertains to what ends up happening in each assignment. I don't know what long-term foreshadowing there is in the assignments, other than perhaps some things not directly related to them... like:

The chance of Jane popping up again later because she hinted that she might

The shapes of souls and "aptitudes" hinting about soul transplants

If Layla ends up being Heathfield's daughter

If Layla/Al ends up being some experiment of Undertaker's regarding soul transplants

What I do see is each servant's loyalty being put to the test, and they must make quick, fateful decisions. Whatever choices they make during their assignments, they will ultimately affect the outcome of the story. Each assignment definitely has long-reaching consequences; they are not little bubbles of existence.

I hope I answered your question thoroughly. I stayed up too late working on this -- but not finishing it -- and have been half asleep all day.

[onesentencemusings]

Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 6)

(Part 1)

Arabian days, like Arabian nights, had a magic to them. Although the same sun shined across the whole world, here in Agrabah, the morning light danced like dervishes across both sand and water like it did nowhere else. And no one got to see this magical light cresting over the land earlier than Princess Jasmine, in her grand bedroom nestled in a high tower.

The sun’s very first light slipped through the layers of emerald green silk curtains and soon lit up the gold-leaf furnishings and crystal mobiles. The light swept to the back of the room and peered once more through a fine blue canopy curtain to greet the princess in her bed. But that wasn’t the only thing ready to wake the young woman.

A gentle hand swept a strand of hair from the princess’s face before sweetly taking her hand in his own. The princess’s eyes fluttered open and saw a poof of shaggy black hair topped with a small sun-worn fez. She sat up slightly and smiled seeing the rest of the young man’s face. ”Aladdin, you’re home.”

Aladdin turned towards the bed and put his chin on the plush cushion top, smiling.

“Did you find Princess Dia’mah?” 

She was so pretty. His name sounded like poetry in her voice.

“Aladdin?”

He still couldn’t believe she liked him. More than liked, really. After all, they are going to get--

“Aladdin!”

“Huh?!” Aladdin sat up straighter. “What?”

Jasmine sighed and pushed off her blankets. “Princess Dia’mah of Zudan. Did you find her?”

“Oh, that. Yeah, I did.” Aladdin leaned on the bed and gave a yawn. “Sorry, I kinda didn’t sleep much outside of a nap on the way back. Abu’s still sleeping.” He pointed behind Jasmine. Carpet was floating quietly at the balcony entrance. It gave a small wave before pointing a tassel at the small sleeping monkey curled up on its back. “But the princess is safe in the Shiabab Sultan’s palace and they already sent a messenger to Zudan to come get her.”

Jasmine sat up. “Shiabab? Why go there?”

Aladdin stood and dropped himself on the bed. “The princess said some nomad saved her from Abis Mal and told her Shiabab was the closest city.” Aladdin looked away. “She was pretty determined to do what the nomad told her to. Said the woman gave her life so she could get away.”

“Oh dear…” Jasmine looked down. “That poor woman.”

Aladdin took Jasmine’s hand. “I know.” Aladdin stopped and then sighed. “Ugh, look at me. You just woke up and I’m giving you bad news. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, Aladdin.” Jasmine leaned against Aladdin’s shoulder. “We both know there’s bad people out there… but that woman proves there’s plenty of good people ready to do what’s right.”

“I still feel bad. Hey, I have an idea!” Aladdin jumped off the bed. 

---

“Breakfast by the garden fountain.” Jasmine giggled. “You seem to keep finding excuses to take me here.”

Aladdin hung his head and rubbed the back of his head bashfully. “I… just… think plumbing is really neat.” He said with a smile, a smile that got wider when Jasmine ‘aww’ed. “I mean… think about it!” Aladdin took the teapot next to his plate and poured it into Jasmine’s cup. “Isn’t it wild that you can have water be in one place, then make it go through a bunch of those ‘pipe’ things and have it come out somewhere else? It’s crazy!”

“That’s really cute.” Jasmine smiled and took a bite of her meal.

“Not as cute as you.” Aladdin answered. Jasmine looked away and blushed.

The area fell silent, far more silent than should be normal. Aladdin looked around and saw the fountain had stopped flowing. Before he could speak, a huge geyser blasted from the top, creating rainfall in the plaza around it. Aladdin quickly got to his feet and grabbed Jasmine by the arm before running towards the palace.

“YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!”

The young couple stopped and looked back. At the top of the flow of water, a blue humanoid figure, dressed in an aggressively loud Hawaiian shirt, a long eared fur cap, and a pair of cargo pants, appeared on a surfboard with arms full of suitcases. The water rushed around the outer edge of the garden before splashing down next to the pair. 

The man ripped off his sunglasses. “He’s BIG!” He pulled off another pair of sunglasses. “He’s BLUE!” A third arm pulled off the final set of sunglasses. “HE’S BACK!”

“Genie?” Aladdin gasped. 

“The Genie? Where!” Genie dumped his bags and poofed up a smartphone before looking around frantically. “Oh, I love his work! His first movie was the best of the Disney Renaissance!” He lowered his phone and looks at you. “Unless you really like animals doing Hamlet for some reason.”

Aladdin ran up to his old friend. “Genie, it’s wonderful to see you!”

“I mean, sure, there’s cultural sensitivity issues and those are important but do people really think Aladdin was meant as a historically accurate depiction of Arabian culture?”

“Genie?”

“Well, I guess some people think Zeus was a good dad ‘cause of Hercules but really that’s their problem for taking mass-entertainment at face value.”

“Genie!”

Genie snapped into focus and laughed. “Whoops, sorry. Got a little meta there.” He turned to Aladdin and gave a huge smile before pulling the boy into a massive hug. “Oh Al, my little buddy, pal, friend, amigo, compadre! I missed you so much!” 

In a flash, Aladdin was sitting at a table, Genie sitting across from him with a wide-but-feminine form dressed in a hot pink sleeveless dress with an apron over top. Genie took Aladdin’s hands and started giving him a manicure. “Tell me what I missed, girl. Spill every drop. Of. Tea. I got ta know e’rythang.”

“Ahem.”  Jasmine looked around Aladdin’s shoulder and waved at Genie. 

“Oh!” Genie pulled out an ‘Out To Lunch’ sign and set it in front of Aladdin before poofing to Jasmine. “Hey, Uh… don’t think we ever actually got introduced. Missed Connection, am I right? Me: Slave of the Lamp bound to obey a crazy old megalomaniac. You: chained to a crazy old megalomaniac’s throne in highly age-inappropriate clothing.”

Jasmine scoffed. “Don’t remind me.” She saw Genie give an uncomfortable look. “It’s ok. You’re fine.” She just never wanted to speak anything remotely close to referencing Jafar ever again. She gave a kind smile and held out her hand. “I’m Princess Jasmine.”

Genie grinned and took the hand. As he was about to speak, his mouth popped off and bounced down his arm before planting a big kiss on the back of Jasmine’s hand. Genie grabbed the lips and slapped them back on his face. “Sorry, the boys get too excited sometimes.” He said bashfully. “The name’s Genie, but my friends call me Genie.”

“Nice to meet you, Genie.” Jasmine laughed.

Aladdin stood up from the table and gave Genie a pat on the back. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but I thought you said you were going to see the world.”

“I did!” Genie answered.

“All of it?”

“Yuh-huh.”

“But it’s only been like… what, eight months?”

Genie split into fours and shrunk down to lawn-gnome sized figures, one of a Danish lady, the next of a cowboy, the third of an English royal guard and the fourth a Russian dancer. “It’s a small world aaaafter all.”

“But why come back to Agrabah?”

“Oh, lots of reasons!” Genie started twirling in the air, sparks of baby-blue magic dust following him upward as he started drifting up and up. “So many wonderful, beautiful, touching, nuanced, heartfelt reasons that can only be accurately told through the magic of song and dance!” 

Genie poofed down and leaned casually against Aladdin. “But The Author isn’t confident she can make a musical number be an entertaining read so you can just, ya know, look it up on YouTube or something.”

“The Author?” Jasmine looked at Aladdin.

“He says weird things a lot,” Aladdin whispered to her. “Just ignore it. It’ll save you a headache.”

“But the gist of it is,” He poofed over and took Jasmine and Aladdin into a big hug. “I’ve been all over the place, saw a lot of great things and met a lot of great people, but no one, absolutely no one, was as unforgettable, sweet, charming and just all around fun to be around as you guys.”

“So you want to stay here?” Aladdin added.

“As long as you’ll have me!”

“That’s wonderful! I’ll have a guest room made up for you right away.” Jasmine stated.

“Don’t bother.” Genie stepped back and laughed.“All I need is my old lamp.”

“Your lamp? Sure I got it, it’s in my room.”  Aladdin pointed to the palace. “Let’s go.”

“Leave it to me.” Genie took a deep breath before speaking “Dash, dash, dash.” Genie put his hands on his hips with a smile.

Aladdin and Jasmine gave each other a look. “And that means…?” Aladdin asked.

“It’s the dashes used to imply a scene transition.” Genie shrugged.

“What’s a scene-”

---

“- transition?” Aladdin stopped and realized they were now in his guest room in the far side of the palace.

“That.” Genie laughed and leans closer to you. “The Author wrote this bit before she wrote the previous three pages if you wanna know where her priorities lie.”

“Uh, right. It’s over here.” Aladdin went to a trunk at the foot of his bed and threw it open. Right there nestled carefully among Aladdin’s few other cared-for possessions was a smooth, well-polished golden lamp. He picked it up and took it to Genie. “I only kept it to remind me of you. I wasn’t trying to see if it was still magic or anything.”

Genie scoffed. “Nah, don’t sweat it.” He took the lamp and tapped it against the bedknob. “This thing’s as magic as a tax form now. It lost all its power when you freed me. Buuuuut that just means it’s waiting for someone to magic it back up!” 

Genie gave the lamp back to Aladdin and poofed into a cloud that swiftly flowed inside the lamp. A brief moment of silence as Aladdin and Jasmine exchanged looks. “Uh…”

A wave of blue lightning passed over the surface before the lamp jumped from Aladdin’s hand. The young man barely caught the lamp before the lid launched upward with a plume of magic sparkles. A small noisy chaos started; sawing, hammering, drilling, heavy machinery backing-up beeping, a stampede of cattle, train passing by, Jazz band marching by, then finally the small tink of a golf ball being hit into the plastic-lined hole followed by very polite light applause.

The wave of blue smoke flowed out of the spout and Genie reappeared, this time wearing a heavy work overalls with a bright orange under shirt. He held out two white tiles. “Guys, I can’t decide. Which would look better in the bathroom? Eggshell or Swiss Coffee?”

Aladdin shrugged. “They’re both white.”

Genie slumped, throwing his head back with a loud groan. “What happened?” Genie’s voice came from inside the lamp. “He said they’re both just white.” About a dozen or more versions of Genie’s voice collectively groaned and the main Genie in front of them shook his head. “What about you?” Genie looked at Jasmine. “Eggshell or Swiss Coffee?” He held up the tiles again.

Jasmine had a quiet laugh before she pointed to the tile in Genie’s left hand. 

“Guys!” Genie yelled at the lamp. “We’re doing Eggshell!” There was a loud collective ‘Whoo!’ from inside the lamp.

“You want to tile the inside of your lamp?” Aladdin asked. “Wouldn’t that make your Itty-Bitty living space even smaller?”

“Relaaaax, buddy. The only reason I couldn’t do this before is because a genie’s prison is always made of their own magic, so we can’t alter it or,” Genie started looking a lot less comfortable. “... ya know… have any hope of escape...” Genie blinked and put on a big smile. “But now that all that magic is gone, I can make the inside of this thing be as big and awesome as I want! So I’m gonna have a room for everything! Dining, bedroom, poker room, dogs playing poker room, foosball table room, Diorama-of-all-my-rooms room, you get the idea.” Genie took a quick look at his clock. “Whoops, time for the grand opening.”

The Genie in front of them vanished and another much larger plume of blue smoke soared out of the lamp. With a whirlwind of sparkles and fireworks, the Genie reappeared, bold and blue wearing nothing but a rich red sash around his waist, a perfectly polished gold earring and two elegantly minimalist gold cuffs on his wrists.

Wait, cuffs?

“Genie! Your bands!” Aladdin grabbed one of Genie’s arms and pulled them to eye level. “I swear I didn’t do anything to the lamp!”

“Al.”

“What do we do? Whatever it takes--”

“AL!” Genie grabbed Aladdin’s face and made the young man turn to him. “It’s ok, watch. Look, nothing up my sleeves!” Genie pretended to roll up sleeves, making his arms vanish as he did. “Alaca-getoffame!” With a flick of his wrists the gold bands came off, hanging open in the air as Genie took a bow. “They’re just clip-ons, buddy.” He scoffed. “You try wearing something for ten thousand years and not feel like you're missing something when you don’t have them on.”

Aladdin took a deep breath, smiling a little when Jasmine came closer to hold him. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t wanna hurt my friend.” Genie floated closer. “And that’s why I came back, kid.” Genie looked close to the verge of happy tears. “Like I said… I’ve been all over, met so many people. And no one’s a friend like you.”

Genie pulled away and clapped his hands. "Ok, that's done. What's next on this micro-chapter's agenda?"

--------------------------

"Whoa, that's a lot of dashes. Guess we're done for the day. Ok, people! Make room for the Author's Note!"

--------------------------

Author's Note: Surprised a life-long villain lover managed to have fun writing heroes? Yeah, me too.

(Part 5)

(Part 7)

[jaylikesrainbowtigers]

I’m trying something a little bit new today. A positivity post because I feel like shit now. For those of you who don’t know my ex broke up with me two days ago and I didn’t really feel anything about it. Turns out I had just numbed my feelings until it hit me on my dog walk today. So trying positivity to make me feel better.

@intothedysphoria is where I got the inspiration to do this. Max makes positivity posts when he feels down and it’s something I admire so much. He also writes such good disabled Harringrove content. Like I don’t even ship it and here I am liking all of the posts because I love it all. And he has been so kind to me on discord when I vented about the breakup. I know right now is a rough patch for you, Max but I just want you to know that you kind of feel like a positive force that teaches me brilliant chaotic gremlin things. Thank you for that!!

@hargrove-mayfields is so amazing too. EJ, you were the first person I have truly interacted with online for any fandom ever. I couldn’t have asked for a better person. You have been nothing but sweet and lovely to me, and though you don’t see my jumping up and down frantically whilst waving my hands in the air every single time we interact and especially when you let me get my grubby mitts on a fandom event (again), I kinda want to let you know I maybe do that. So thanks EJ for being amazing.

@skutter We have never interacted but this is a post to make me happy so I wanted to tag you. I really couldn’t believe it when you shared one of my posts for the first time. Because you are like the only other person who blogs about Red Dwarf I could find. And I barely get to ever talk or do anything about Red Dwarf with anybody my age because I’m really the wrong generation for classics like that but oh boy, your posts bring my so much happiness when I see them. Thank you so much for helping me indulge in a silly little brain rot I have.

Also tagging @shieldofiron, @carito-dorito, @salthat, @peachyaliien (who tumblr will not let me tag despite me literally opening her blog), and anybody else on the @disabledbillyandsteveweek discord (check out that tag for stranger things content) who let me be a bit of a mess over there.

A final thanks to my irl friends Abi and Ciara who will probably never know or see this post. You two have been so amazing over the past few days and I am so sad we are all leaving this weekend down our own paths. We will meet again at Christmas when we return from the land beyond (England is that hour plane ride away beyond). My DofE besties who have been with me for so long, I can’t wait to go out tonight which you two arranged beautifully just for me.

Ciara and I have been friends for 14 years, and boy have we been through thick and thin together. We might no longer be as close but I will always remember you for being my first crush and my closest childhood friend. Also the legend who said in response to my I think I’m autistic said yeah, we all knew that.

Abi, we met later but we have been inseparable since. From chucking things at each other, to me making fun of your height (you aren’t *that* short, our friends and me are just tall), and to being the crush who made me realize oh shit, I’m gay.

And to the frankly hilarious coincidence named Jay. You bastard. Why did Ciara have a crush on you and then Abi went on to date you now. Do I have to expect my ex to date you soon? Do I? Will you haunt my romances for evermore?

Anyway thank you to anyone who actually bothered to get up to this point. I see why Max does these now. I feel better.

[lyalagushkina]

❗❗spoilers aotd And my indignation at the fact that this should not exist because the screenwriters didn't care

I decided to collect my indignation in one big post, I don’t even know where to start, the film is absolutely not memorable and I have no desire to revise this

So

Scene in the church

It’s good that Toki didn’t autistic out of currents and he just listened to the music.

That’s all

Abigail comes and I think my attitude to this scene is clear, the theories as soon as I saw this leaked screen were as follows:

Abigail says what she thinks, thinks it over and returns at the end of the movie so that Nathan has time to worry about her

In fact, we have what we have

They changed her character and she turned from a cool woman into a mediocre former Nathan, saying:

- but you kissed me

- yes, but it was gratitude for salvation and that’s all

I looked shocked like Nathan had, it’s obviously not in her character at all, okay, let’s dance further

The plot with the demon inside the murderface passed somehow too quickly, they bathed him in the water and everything went away, honestly I thought that what was shown with his nightmares was just preludes, but fuck it

Dick’s death is finally a flight, fuck it and most importantly why, his death was unreasonable and he could have escaped

I didn’t remember anything else, but I am dissatisfied as the Toki have shown

I was expecting to see his recovery after the requiem, I was expecting their relationship with abigail SERIOUSLY I WAS SURE THAT IT WOULD BE, BUT ABIGAIL JUST LEAKED BECAUSE SHE IS NO LONGER NEEDED, so what was left of her was added to nathan so that he would suffer

IT WOULD BE MUCH MORE LOGICAL IF THEY WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND SHE DIED AND HE SUFFERED FOR IT

FUCK THEIR RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND KISS

scene with mom mia fans when I saw this my first thought was: RIGHT HERE WILL APPEAR ABGAIL WITH DICK I until the last believed in their appearance and that Abi would be with nathan

The film after Dick’s death becomes stuffy, and I think that the fatal star’s requiem on the background of this fucking thing is many times better, it shows the plot better, and I’m happy with the ending Requiem, everything is as it should have ended, now I understand this

It's a pity that Toki was not allowed to play solo

And still nobody gives a shit about the Tribunal🤚🙄

[cienie-isengardu]

Cienie’s take on Mandalorian Culture: Kad Ha’rangir and mandalorian traditional weapons, p. 4

part 1 — part 2 — part 3

Tie-in material implies that Taungs were familiar with swords (Roon era and maybe even the early colonization of Mandalore), however the overwhelming majority of sources connect the original Mandalorians to mythosaur axes and spear-like weapons. At the same time, the further from Taung hegemony, the more visible swords became, as can be observed in:

material equipment of warriors 

art and broadly understood traditional culture

political sphere. 

To find a sensible answer on how truly important were swords in regard to Kad Ha’rangir, we need to examine the correlation between weapons, chronology and religion.  

Sources in general are in agreement that Taungs were religious warrior species who worshiped many gods but at some point, the original Mandalorians switched from more traditional polytheism into worshiping the War itself. Tie-in materials however do not completely overlap in regard to time and person responsible for this spiritual reformation.

The History of the Mandalorians [Insider #80]:

 “But following the Mandalorians’ epic clashes with the insectoids of Nevoota, war, once a ritual form of worship to Mandalorian gods, became itself divine and reverential.” 

The article implies the religious change happened before The Sith War (3996 BBY). The Essential Guide to Warfare states that Nevoota was attacked in 4024 BBY.

Excerpted from "Industry. Honor. Savagery: Shaping the Mandalorian Soul" keynote address by Vilnau Teupt, 412th Proceedings of Galactic Anthropology and History, Brentaat Academy, 24 ABY [The Essential Guide to Warfare]:

“The final years of the fifth millennium BBY brought a Taung religious reformation. Instead of worshipping Kad Ha’rangir, the Taungs elevated war itself as to the pinnacle of their cosmology - to make a war was effectively to be divine. The reasons for this momentous change are imperfectly understood, but Mandalorian legend holds that the clan leader known as Mandalore the Indomitable had a vision while on the mysterious world Shogun, returning to the clan with world of the revelation he’d received. Soon after this reformation, the Crusaders raided the galaxy’s central systems. In 4024 BBY they attacked the planet Nevoota in the Colonies, exterminating its species during a three-year campaign.”

Again, the change happened years before The Sith War, yet the guide claims the religious reformation comes from Mandalore the Indomitable and happened before the attack on Nevoota.

The Old Republic game’s Galactic History 42: The Nevoota Extinction codex

Lore Entry:  This datacron holds unheard of power and knowledge collected by an ancient race. You access its power and discover writings which are clearly only one small piece of a massive galactic history: Some years before the Old Sith Wars, the Nevoota--a species of insectoid aliens from the Balmorra system--found themselves facing an army of disciplined warriors in distinctive armor. The warriors were Mandalorian Crusaders, testing themselves against the galaxy's deadliest species. However, the Nevoota were a challenge even for the Mandalorians. Possessing superior numbers and utterly disdainful of death, the Nevoota fought a four-year campaign under the cunning warlord Ithcharaka--but finally the Mandalorians hunted the Nevoota to extinction. This conflict had a profound effect on Mandalorian culture. The Mandalorians began to see war itself as an end, not just a means of conquest. Through war, Mandalorian society found its highest expression. When Mandalore the Indomitable eventually rose to power, he led a people who demanded nothing less than the greatest challenges the galaxy could offer.

The change happened before The Sith War AND before Mandalore the Indomitable rose to power.  

Those three sources vary from each other in details, but we can assume the reformation happened around 4024 BBY, which gives almost three decades before Mandalore the Indomitable challenged Ulic Qel-Droma and Mandalorians took part in The Sith War. Three decades isn't long enough time to erase previously established religious traditions albeit the change could affect to some degree the understanding of mythology and perception of the gods. 

Tie-in sources written after the most intensive period of expanding mandalorian lore (2005-2009) like "Industry. Honor. Savagery: Shaping the Mandalorian Soul” [The Essential Guide to Warfare, 2012] and Death Watch Manifesto [Bounty Hunter Code, 2013] understandably add Kad Ha’rangir as a god worshiped by Taungs which is a nice connection between various media. However both mentioned above articles are in-universe sources, meaning the modern authors may be wrong about  Taung!Mandalorian culture, which is also understandable, as the Taung species has been extinct for almost four thousand years. That said, I do not deny the existence of Kad Ha’rangir in itself but I do wonder if Taungs knew him under this exact name. Can we truly be sure that “Kad'' wasn't added over the years to either create connection to swords as the weapon favored by human Mandalorians or as a reconstruction of almost forgotten mythical knowledge done for cultural and/or political reasons?

Let’s think about it for a moment. Taung faith itself changed from waging war as a ritual form of worship to Mandalorian gods, to war itself being divine and reverential. Thus the personification of gods turned into a different, less anthropomorphic concept. Mandalore the Indomitable leads his warriors under the new understanding of the religion, up to his death in 3996 BBY.

Sadly, there are not many sources for the spiritual aspect of Crusaders beyond the religious reformation, so the eventual cult of sword could be related to ceremonies alone - events we simply didn’t have a chance to see. A fair argument however tie-in material implies that Mandalore the Indomitable and the Ultimate weren’t just military leaders but also spiritual authorities, as both were said to have received a vision on a surreal Shogun planet that determined the shape of mandalorian culture of their times. Did those two leaders truly have visions their people blindly believe or is that just part of myths passed down through the generations, we can’t be sure. Yet if we agree the Mandalores could received an vision from gods - thus having a magical connection to higher powers - then they were the best suited to carry on ceremonial items (swords) in the name of Kad Ha’rangir or War itself but Indomitable and Ultimate carried axes - a traditional Mandalorian (Taung) weapon of cultural meaning yet archaic compared to more advanced blasters. 

We could also argue that Indomitable displayed some sort of magic belief, as he acknowledges Ulic Qel-Droma as a Jedi (thus he most likely was aware of Ulic’s special powers) yet Aleema, who also was using Dark Side to cast powerful illusions, was considered by him a witch - a name generally connected to magic.

Granted, Mandalore heard about those two before he attacked Teta System, however Force widely was identified as magic across the galaxy, even in more modern times. Mandalorians weren’t “primitive” society and encountered many different species through decades of conquests yet Ulic’s unnatural powers got him the title of Jedi (Knight) while Aleema was called a witch. Her specific abilities could be easily tied down to Hod Ha’ran, the trickster god of visions but also could nicely be linked to prehistoric Taung Priestly Sisterhood - a very rare mention of female Taung - known from The Unknown Regions Sourcebook and whose teaching became one of three ancient philosophical schools whose culmination gave a birth to Sorcerers of Rhand:

The third school is an offshoot of the Warriors of the Shadow - Taung soldiers beaten by the Battalions of Zhell in the prehistory of Coruscant. After surviving the war and a volcanic plume of ash that filled the skies for two years, the priestly sisterhood of the Taungs fled to the Unknown Regions to seek atonement through meditation and insight.

The Mandalorian Crusader logo, as described by Death Watch Manifesto, is said to symbolize the circle of life and death while the sharp points represent the weapon of warriors. The triangle-like shape definitely resembles the shape of mythosaur axes than any swords.

The Crusader symbol could be seen on Mandalore the Indomitable’s mask - an “sacred” item representing the right to rule over all Mandalorians and even on his bracer:

Granted, the symbol wasn't always presented in the same way[8] and in some frame(s) even looked more like stylized animal/beast rather than a circle with sharp points but generally, the symbol is strongly related to Crusaders introduced in Tales of the Jedi: The Sith War (1995-1996).

In-universe and out-universe understandably, there is no mention of Kad Ha’rangir from Mandalore the Indomitable or his fellow Mandalorians in original comics - in the first case, the religion switched from gods to War as principle, in the letter, the concept of Kad Ha’rangir did not exist yet.

When Mandalore the Ultimate rose to power, slowly but steadily the Neo Crusaders dominated Mandalorian culture. Their logo is based on Crusader symbol (circle with sharp points resembling shape of mythosaur axes) but with added image of Mandalorian skull. The period of 3996 to 3960 BBY is either:

a continuation of worshiping War itself,

coming back to the traditional religion,

finding common ground between those two concepts or

rejecting the faith completely.

The sources did not explore much the mythological-magical aspect of Mandalorian people of that time, however we still can catch a glimpse of such elements.

For one, the same as previous leader, Mandalore the Ultimate is said to received a vision[9].

Excerpted from "Industry. Honor. Savagery: Shaping the Mandalorian Soul" keynote address by Vilnau Teupt. 412th Proceedings of Galactic Anthropology and History, Brentaat Academy [The Essential Guide to Warfare]:

Mandalore the Ultimate had seen many battles and knew his fellow Mandalorian Crusaders were brave and skilled. But the new Taung clan leader wondered how much that mattered. His people remained a fractious society of restless adventure seekers, with little to show for their efforts but stolen technologies and a slice of space on the outskirts of the Republic.  There was a better way and Mandalore the Ultimate was determined to find it. The defeated Crusaders returned to Mandalorian Space to learn their leader had received a new vision on Shogun: From now on, non-Taungs who proved themselves in battle and upheld the Mandalorian warrior code were full members of the clans. Moreover, the Crusaders would no longer simply pillage worlds and move on like some terrible storm. Now they would hold the territory they conquered, creating an industrial society based on warrior codes. Warriors would rule, supported by farmers, artisans, and manufactures who accepted their place in the Mandalorian hierarchy, with slaves and those without honor below them. 

Death Watch Manifesto [Bounty Hunter Code]:

“Of the ancient Mandalores, we hold none in higher esteem than Mandalore the Ultimate, the Great Shadow Father of our clans. On Shogun, then as now the planet of visions, Mandalore the Ultimate received a staggering prophecy: The age of Taung was ending, but their great work was unfinished. To survive, the Mando’ade must be transformed.  It was a terrible burden, but Mandalore the Ultimate bore it with honor. He opened the clans to all who proved themselves in battle and followed the warrior code. Non-Taung were no longer confined to vassalship, but could be full-fledged Mandalorian warriors. Our forefathers were among these new Mando’ade, and soon proved that they were ready to lead the clans.”

The same as with Indomitable, the new Mandalore received the vision on Shogun planet that could be recognized as a sacred (magical) place and who knows, maybe each new leader was obligated to seek there a sign from the gods and act on the given vision?

The interpretation of Force as a magic is visible during Mandalorian Wars, though sources don’t provide us with examples of such belief coming directly from Taung themselves. 

The Secret Journal of Doctor Demagol [This story takes place 3964 - 3963 B.B.Y.]

Entry #6025: The first arrivals. Mand'alor has kept his word. A transport has arrived bearing Jedi prisoners. The war has not even begun in earnest, and yet I have my first subjects. I will continue as before, categorizing differences in Jedi versus base members of their species. These are meager pickings to begin with. A Rodian and another human. Why must they always be humans? How I long to find a Trandoshan Jedi, to compare my past control groups. Vivisection experiments become so much easier when limbs can be regrown. Who says there are no second chances? I was less pleased to see who brought them here: Pulsipher. According to his message, Mand'alor sent Pulsipher here to be my "aide" -- but I can hardly imagine anyone less suitable. We agree on only one thing: "The Force" is pseudo-scientific claptrap -- a tale spun by the Jedi to keep the people in awe. A secret well of power, from which only the selected few may draw? How offensive. But Pulsipher rejects my conclusions that "Force powers" are inborn genetic traits -- natural mutations, that any being can be modified to have. What does he think gives Jedi their powers? Why, magic, of course! Mystic talismans and trinkets, that's what he believes! I realize that Mand'alor is trying to cover all his options -- but really. Perhaps he could send me a Wookiee witch doctor on the next transport.

and

Entry #6087:  [...] But I worry the Republic will collapse before I can produce results. I have learned a great deal about Jedi physiology from the subjects here, supplementing what I learned on Osadia. We didn't have living adult Jedi to study on the New Generation Project -- just preserved genetic samples. But, thus far, knowing what a Jedi looks like on a molecular level has told me little about what makes one a Jedi. I am half-prepared to believe this "Force" is an actual external phenomenon. Pulsipher is telling Mand'alor of my failings, I am sure. Often I have seen him skulking about, scribbling notes to send off. That is, when he is not in the lockdown ogling the Jedi's lightsabers. He acts as if some ancient spirit will rise from them to transform him into a Mandalorian Knight. Sheer fantasy.

(Side note: another example of “witch” coming from Mandalorians. Interestingly, according to Rohlan Dyre who investigated Demagol’s history, the man in question was trained by Mandalore the Indomitable himself

who first uttered this term in regard to Aleema.)

Knight of the Old Republic #26 (Vector, part II)

"I believe the so-called "Force", the power of the Jedi and the Sith comes not from the people, but from their possessions! Artifacts of power beyond science -- they are the enemy we face!

Knights of the Old Republic: War #2

Kra'ake: "Shut up, Carrick! I saw that lightsaber. I put up with Kace and his Knights because Mand'alor says to -- but I won't have sorcerers in my rank! A warrior fights with blade and blaster!"

Kace: I know it offends some of you to have a former Jedi in your ranks. Mandalorians win with arms, not tricks and magic!

Zayne: [...] I'm surprised there's so much superstition here about Force-users. Ko Sornell: There was a rumor about Force magic causing the disaster on Jebble -- that was an induction station too, come to think of it. Zayne: Er... yes. But I don't understand. If you all fear Jedi, why's you let Kace and his peope join? Ko Sornell: I have no idea. Mand'alor authorized it -- that's good enough for me.

Knights of the Old Republic: War #5

Ko Sornell: All the warriors here are stealing shuttles and leaving. They’d rather win without your magic and without involving children. You never understood that, Kace. Yes, when our battles create orphans, we adopt them but we don’t steal children from their parents or guardians. No victory is worth that!

It is hard to say how much of the presented above superstitions comes directly from mandalorian culture and its take on magic and how much of those are the result of diverse religious experiences of “converted” people. The sources implies Mandalore the Ultimate wasn’t against having Force sensitive Knights in his rank, nor did protested against Demagol’s science research to uncover the secret of Force. At the same time, the Mandalore himself wasn’t afraid of Jedi or their “magic”, as could be seen during short encounter with Alek (KotOR #20) or from the fact he challenged Revan to a one on one duel. Similarly, there are Mandalorians like Rohlan Dyre and Canderous Ordo who won’t blame “mystic powers” for giving Jedi an advantage in fight but treat the “unfair” battle as a great challenge for warriors to overcome. As Rohlan recorded:

Demagol begins with one correct point -- a fight with a Jedi isn't a fair fight. Special powers are a crutch that a real warrior doesn't want or need; and stars help us when someone gets those powers that shouldn't. Like that Malak. I can tell he's going to be a piece of work. But then Demagol thinks our warriors should take the crutch for themselves. That's dead wrong. I know what real Mandalorians think. Sure, we didn't like to see the clans being beaten by Jedi -- but we weren't humiliated, and we're not jealous. We're just annoyed at the people who lost. They bring a bigger gun? You fight harder. They bring the Force? You fight harder! If Mandalore the Indomitable had wanted to defeat Ulic Qel-Droma -- he should have been more indomitable! [The Secret Journal of Demagol]

Mentioned examples give us an interesting outlook at Mandalorian society during Mandalorian Wars and the opposite takes on Force. There are a number of warriors who perceive Force as “magic” and Force-users as "sorcerers" and some wanted to understand and/or obtain that power for Mandalore and Mandalorians. There are also those who acknowledged the Force as something special and unique yet not something a true warrior should desire or need.

Interestingly, beside the mention of Pulsipher who “in the lockdown ogling the Jedi's lightsabers” and acting “as if some ancient spirit will rise from them to transform him into a Mandalorian Knight”, the Mandalorians are indifferent or outright disapproving of the lightsabers - for example, like Kra'ake was about Zayne using his lightsaber to disarm enemy’s weapons instead of using blaster (KotOR: War #2)

This supports my belief that Mandalorians did not have widely understood swords and sabers in any special regard. So far I did not notice anyone connecting Jedi (the sorcerer’s) lightsaber to any of their mythological deities. Even Mandalore the Indomitable, during his fight with Ulic, called Jedi’s lightsaber “a bloodthirsty weapon”, impling that a simple weapon of his forefathers is the honorable weapon [The Sith War #1].

Additional example of what I personally consider to be Mandalorian, potentially religious and/or magical practice is the use of skulls and candles, as was seen with Demagol and Cassus Fett - two very opposite types of characters with different approaches to mandalorian matters. Interestingly, in both cases, the mentioned items were placed within their “workshop” sphere - in laboratory (KotOR#10)

and temporary headquarters respectively (KotOR #23 & 24). 

Even if skulls and bones were part of Demagol’s studies, candles alone in both cases had no useful purpose, as presented places clearly had an access to electricity and advanced technology providing light (and heat?). Presence of such items especially is interesting as Demagol did not believe Force to be magic and Cassus was busy leading invasion on Taris, yet presumably both dedicated their precious time and effort to equip their “personal” space with objects that seems to not have any impact on their actual living / working conditions. Even more surprising in the case of Cassus Fett, as his headquarter was a temporary place. Which is why I consider those skulls and candles a potential example of artifacts whose purpose fulfill some magical-religious needs or unexplained customs. Those of course could be some sort of trophies but interestingly, Mandalorians of Hidden Chain from The Old Republic MMORPG also kept skulls in various places of their headquarters 

while Shae Vizla kept her trophies and mementos(?) nicely displayed in showcases 

which gives a feeling of the different purposes and there is 300 years of the time interval between those two eras.

With those examples, I think it is safe to assume the religious-magic aspect is still alive within the full-fledged Mandalorians. Its shape and impact on society may be greatly reduced if not be just an echo of the old faith, the same as mythological interpretation of gods, once treated as literal stories[10] now could lose its importance when the number of Mandalorians was multiplied by the mass of new recruits. However it wasn’t completely erased by material needs nor pragmatic choices. It is hard to tell how religious were Taungs (represented by Mandalore the Ultimate) at this point in history, especially with so many changes done to ensure Mandalorian victory but I think we can cross out the possibility that religion was completely rejected.

The same as The Sith War, the Knights of the Old Republic did not provide a direct mention of Mandalorian gods (with a special emphasis on Kad Ha’rangir). As much as it is understandable with original source in which Taung as ancient Mandalorians debuted (1995-1996) and the original KotOR game (2003), the lack of such mention in KotOR & KotOR: War comics is surprising, as those two series were published from 2006 to 2012 and a lot of mandalorian elements were taken from Karen Traviss’s Republic Commando & Legacy of the Force book series and additional tie-in work. Those elements include the use of mando’a, both as singular words (e.g. oya) and the more “formal” phrase emphasizing the sincerity of character’s oath/intention, as was seen with Zayne Carrick revoking the “Haat, Ijaat, Haa'it” [Truth, Honor, Vision] formula while sealing a pact (promise) with Mandalorian Ko Sornell.

This detail too could be interpret as sign of religious-magic element as I personally see the Haat, Ijaat, Haa'it formule as swearing by the triad of mandalorian gods, in which Truth, Honor and Vision represents Arasuum, Kad Ha’rangir and Hod Ha’ran respectively. And yes, I identify Arasuum with Truth (something unchangeable) as I strongly believe he was not a god of stagnation and laziness originally but a god of death but I will leave this matter for another part of  Cienie’s take on Mandalorian Culture larger project.

Mandalorians of this era still most likely cultivate their religious traditions to some degree however so far beside Pulsipher ogling lightsabers, the warriors themselves showed little interest in this kind of weapon. The typical, traditional axe is seen mainly in regard to Mandalore the Ultimate (Taung) and is a continuation of previously established in The Sith War tradition while the weapons used by warriors - beside blasters - vary from each other. 

Mandalore the Ultimate not only opened ranks to outsiders but also indicated vital changes that will shape future generations - including approach to political and warfare matters. The mandalorian culture spread through the galaxy and assimilated a great number of Republic citizens, however in contrast to Crusaders from previous decades, one of Neo-Crusaders’ goals was “conversion” of non-Mandalorian people - whether someone wanted it or not.

The original Taung (Mandalorian) culture, as far as the sources showed, was  homogeneous, however the Neo-Crusaders’ approach created problems the warriors did not have encountered before. As Mandalore the Ultimate admitted:

So many new recruits. Different species, different armors, different languages -- and not enough time to learn our ways. 

The crisis Mandalorian culture faced will have far-reaching consequences - yes, there were new recruits to carry on Taung legacy even after their deaths, but their great number made it difficult to properly assimilate and teach the newcomers. As the Mandalore noted, those people spoke in different languages which I think could explain why (modern) mando’a is so similar to Basic language, as logically thinking Basic was the most common language in which recruits from different species could communicate and if there wasn’t time nor proper teachers to help understand the mandalorian grammar, it naturally could superseded the Taung original language complexity. Though that matter deserves a separate analysis as sources do not dwell much on linguistics aspects of lore, and simply use mando’a as a neat bridge between different mandalorian eras. 

Same thing most likely happened with original laws, as Taungs held in great respect complex Canons of Honor while new recruits were introduced to very simplified Resol’nare (Six Action) as a major cultural determinant

and the Resol’nare survived to modern times while Canons became obscurity. The overwhelming mass of new recruits (sometimes outright forced into Mandalorian ranks) and lack of proper time and opportunity to learn and adapt into warrior culture definitely affected future generations of Mandalorians. The important question is, did Mandalore the Ultimate and his fellow Taung/original Mandalorians pass down mythological knowledge in a relatively unchanged version or did they adapt it to their cause of leaving “legacy” to not be forgotten? Because Mandalore was presented as someone willing to use “mythology” in such fashion. Like the story of Rohlan the Questioner whose “dying speech” he wrote himself to uphold the importance of Mandalore title

or even the previously mentioned songs [part III] in which The Rage of Shadow Warriors though share name with an epic poem of struggle over ancient Notron (Coruscant) may be Taung “plea” to be remembered by their successors. Also, allowing Cassus Fett to change individual armor uniquity into very similar sets of armor in which a specific color represents certain ranks for better control over troopers is a clear sign how far Mandalore was willing to give up or modify the tradition of his forefathers to preserve at least some of Taung heritage.

So far there was little to no evidence of the cult of swords and its connection to Kad Ha’rangir but plenty of hints for both religious-magical aspects and vital cultural changes. Mandalore the Ultimate died and Taungs, officially[11], went extinct. The Mandalorian society became divided and leaderless, driving many veterans and latest recruits into mercenary work or giving up the warrior past entirely. Those who remained, slowly rebuilded their ranks while searching for “sacred” Mandalore Mask - an item Revan took after defeating the Ultimate and hid in hopes to demoralize and break Mandalorian spirit. There are not many sources about that era, even less in regard to religious matters. Ordo Canderous was the first human Mandalore, known as the Preserver as he tried to bring Mandalorians to their honorable warrior ways. However the cultural schism between well-paid mercenaries and warriors fighting for their own cause won’t be resolved and with passing time, the dispute will grow deeper and lead to clashes between traditionalists and soldiers of fortune.

As far as I managed to check available sources about times of Canderous Ordo, still no mention of Kad Ha’rangir, the mythosaur axe becoming obscurity while swords are a more common sight between post-Neo Crusader Mandalorians, as could be noticed in 

KotOR (2003)

KotOR: Sith Lords (2006) which Mandalorians under Ordo’s leadership 

[Next part] The Old Republic MMORPG game takes place a few hundred years after Mandalore the Indomitable, The Ultimate and the Preserver (Wookiepedia claims the history of SWTOR currently covers the era of 3643–3626 BBY). For the first time an in-universe source contemporary with the events taking place directly mentions Kad Ha’rangir and praying practice...

SIDENOTES:

[8] An examples how the Crusader logo was presented beside the typical circle with sharp (triangle) points:

Animal/beast shape

Sun(?) symbol

[9] The Old Republic: Revan book - leading into the storyline of the SWTOR - claims Mandalore the Ultimate was manipulated by the Sith and the so-called vision of victory over the Republic wasn’t his.

“Mandalore helped the Sith find Dramath’s hidden crypt,” he continued. “The Sith took the remains to give to his Master, and in exchange he told Mandalore of a vision his Master had had of the Mandalorians rising up against the Republic. He told him they would conquer world after world, crushing their enemies until the Republic collapsed in on itself. He promised the Mandalorians a glorious victory, and Mandalore believed him.” “Mandalore the Ultimate wouldn’t lead us into war against the Republic just because some stranger told him we’d win,” Canderous protested. “It’s more complicated than that. The Sith used the power of the dark side to manipulate him. Only as Mandalore lay dying at my feet was the spell finally broken and he realized he’d been tricked. That was why he told me about this place. So I could come and see for myself.” “This doesn’t make any sense,” Canderous said. “You say the Sith tricked Mandalore into attacking the Republic. But why?” “I don’t know,” Revan admitted. “Maybe it was a test of your strength. Or ours. Maybe the Sith are planning another invasion, and they sought to weaken the Republic.”

SWTOR's The Galactic History #67: Mandalore the Ultimate claims:

Later Jedi would believe Sith influences propelled the Mandalorians into war, but the Mandalorians themselves claimed to be driven only by the chance for conquest and revenge.

So the matter of Sith's influence is up to debate, I guess.

[10] Mandalorians: People and Culture [Insider #86] says:

Mandalorians were once intensely religious but disillusionment with the old fanaticism and warship of war itself gave way to a far less supernatural belief system among modern Mandalorians. They now regard creation tales, such as Akaanati’kar’oya (The War of Life and Death), as parables to illustrate a deeper philosophical meaning rather than literal supernaturalism.

what itself fits nicely the switch from religious Taung into more money-oriented mandalorian mercenaries. However the same article undermines the existence of Taungs in the first place by this:

And they’re probably not even the original Mandalorian race. Anthropologists disagree about their roots; did they begin as humans or, as a few academics still claim, a gray-skinned non-human species. Whichever theory you find most convincing, they became a species of predominantly human nomadic warriors.

I personally accept this source in regard to Taung religiosity but at the same time I advise taking a caution approach to it. Mandalorians: History and People has a lot of contradictions that sometimes go against generally accepted Mandalorian norms.

[11] KotOR Campaign Guide claims Canderous Ordo met a Taung after Mandalorians Wars:

“In thanks,  Revan returns to him the traditional mask of Mandalore, and Canderous sets out to reunite the Mandalorians. In so doing, Canderous happens upon an ailing Taung claiming to be the true Mandalore, and calling Mandalore the Ultimate a usurper with Sith ties. Before dying, this nameless Mandalorian presents his armor and clan to Canderous, asking him to preserve the old ways.”

This little story may be seen as another “tale” turned into mandalorian legend and/or cultural tool but also present a possibility that some Taung survived Battle of Malachor and lived for another decades and we simply have no clue about that. So far I have not heard about any hybrid between Taung and humans or other alien species though so I think it is safe to assume they died out at some point as sources claims.

[abigailthedreamer]

Black Butler Season 4 is REALLL

I wrote this the day before it dropped, Enjoy! (Warning for Copious Amounts of self indulgence as well as implied Manga spoilers for R!Ciel)

An Undead Easter (Cogs and Coffins)

"Hm…It's Easter today Innit?" Abi's musing broke the silence, that was once filled by the groans of bizarre dolls. It's true, today is Easter Sunday. Undertaker Chuckles beside her, he was mending her broken metal arm that fell off while she was cleaning around the parlour.

"The fact you're even interested in such a Christ blessed holiday is already funny in of itself, Poppet" Undertaker snickers, tightening the bolts on her metal arm, leaning back, admiring his work, and Abigail as well. "Why the sudden interest?"

Abi can only answer with a shrug. "Dunno, can't remember the last Easter i had." She adds, with that, The silverette gets up from his seat, heading into the dingy kitchen in the back. Some rustling can be heard, before he returned with two Hard boiled eggs. They were cold though, for some reason. "Undertaker, you don't ha-"

Undertaker held her hand out and presses a white egg in her iron palm. "Dear, i'd gut the whole of London if you so much as asked" He proclaims, before holding his egg. "Egg tapping! Whichever breaks first, is the loser~" He adds, singsong-y.

One tap! No break "Okay??" Abi murmurs.

Two taps! Nothing. Undertaker was giggling supiciously. With narrowed eyes, Abi cocks her arm back, and whacks Undertaker's egg out of his bony hand. It hit the floor and rolled a bit…it didn't break.

"You little SHIT THEY WERE ROCKS!!" Abi barks, lunging over the counter to a cackling Undertaker, barking about how she fell for it a little bit. "Oh! I'd kill you if you didn't have this whole wild plan with the bizarre dolls" She grumbles. Soon the cackling subsided.

Later in the day, Abi was walking deep in the forest behind the graveyard. Turns out, One of the bizarre dolls wandered out. Eventually, Abi found the blue haired doll, he was standing, holding a painted egg.

"Oi, what you got there?" Abi says, the small boy looked up at Abi and gave her the egg. it was painted like…her. "That's…Weird-"

"Oh dear, where is that egg? could've sworn i hid it around here" A girly voice rang out, Abi recognised that voice as…Elizabeth? Quickly, Abi tossed the egg back out, and ducked behind a bush with the Blue haired Bizarre Doll. It doesn't take a genius to know where they've wandered off to. She is able to process more hubub, and even saw a table, filled with food and drink and some…Familiar people.

"Is that an egg of…Who i think it is?" A boyish voice piped up, Ciel, we presume.

"Mh-hm, She was really nice when i last saw her on the Campania, even if she was a little scary." Lizzy replied, Abi watches through the bush as the blonde girl place the egg on the table, Ciel Made a bit of a face when he looked at the bronze painted egg. Seems like he doesn't have the heart to tell her about Abi's current villainous ways.

"I'm…Sure she would've enjoyed this eater egg hunt as well" Ciel was able to muster, making Lizzy's face light up again. "I have a feeling she would've put Sebastian and i to shame." "Heehee, She really would've!"

Abi smiles softly, seeing the view as rather…Bittersweet. Abi looks and sees that The blue haired Bizarre doll boy had ran off. She then turned to see Undertaker, with the boy in tow. Abi gets up and Joins the silverette's side, walking away back to the parlour.

"Happy Easter, My Iron Maiden." "You too, darling"

[marroniere]

fic: strength of heart (tenderness of the soul), thranto, explicit, WIP

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Thrawn/Eli Vanto

Word count: 15,954 words so far (5000-word chapters are posted twice a week, 25 chapters overall)

Warnings: canon-typical violence, angst with a happy ending, mpreg, Thrawn dealing with his traumatic past

Summary:

In 1 ABY, Thrawn returns to the Chiss Ascendancy, weary, injured, disappointed. To save the Ascendancy once again, he has to confront his own demons first. On the way he finds things he has never expected to find.

In 5 ABY, as the civil war is raging, Thrawn faces a choice between the family he has built together with Eli Vanto—and the thing he once thought was the sole purpose of his existence. Protecting his people.

Excerpt:

“I assume we need to talk about it,” Thrawn says.

Eli strips out of the Stybla green tunic he wears at home. Folds it meticulously and places on one of the bedroom chairs. There is no undershirt beneath it, and Thrawn can see his body, golden brown and lean, as usual, a web of scars Thrawn could draw from memory if anyone woke him in the middle of the night.

“I assume we do,” Eli says. “What was that about?”

“You’re angry,” Thrawn says.

He is already completely naked; he does not have the energy to change into pyjamas and dislikes sleepwear anyway. When an opportunity presents itself, he avoids wearing anything to bed.

“No,” Eli answers, standing before him. “I’m worried. A little bit relieved, too, because it seems I get to spend the rest of my life with you like I planned.”

“But you are worried.”

“Yeah, because you fucked the CEDF over.”

“And that may affect your career,” Thrawn adds, not terribly pleased to admit that.

Eli huffs out a nervous laugh.

“Fuck my career! I’ll need no career if we’re all…”

He breaks off.

“The Defense Force is a shitshow, and you know that. We’ve lost two of the three worlds that feed the whole sector, and you know that. All the infighting—fuck me, we’ll soon have a civil war within a civil war.”

[intxrritus]

Vengeance: A Star Wars Story

Chapter 2: 13.2 ABY - Senate Capital, Hosnian Prime

A couple of years passed, new visions and dreams of the cave spread out among them. I became a reclusive child, even more than I was before. Out of fear of reprimand, I followed orders and remained obedient to my elders. Whether it was Duran or other officers that I interacted with, I did my best to stay out of the way or at least be as least frustrating to be around as I could manage. I matured with a military mindset, becoming highly educated in what it meant to be a good soldier in the eyes of my superiors. I spent most of my time growing up learning all I could about the different branches of the Defense Force, spending every day at the back of different classrooms and lessons given by instructors who were experts in their field of study. Weapon mechanics and sharp shooting were simple for me to pick up with the amount of time I spent in simulations to pass the time while advanced training classes weren’t readily available for me to visit. I also tried my best to stay physically fit, following the schedule and workout routines that I would observe new recruits doing when we’d return to HQ on Chandrila, which is what we considered to be home base. Interestingly, though, aviation was second nature to me. As soon as I had the opportunity to roam maintenance bays on the Air Force bases we would occasionally visit, I found that I knew the mechanics and engineering of all the ships we had on base.

However, despite spending all of my time over the years learning about every part of the military, I was never apprised of the political side. Being a kid still, I was never welcomed in on meetings or allowed to roam on my own. Wherever Duran would go, off base or not, I was left with special instructions to stay out of the way and never bother anyone. This of course made me grow to hate my age and position, feeling embarrassed when privates would give me a weird look when they’d see me at the back of their classrooms. Luckily, on the bases we regularly visited, the instructors grew to tolerate my presence, or so I assumed. It never made me feel less embarrassed about being there, though.

After arguably our longest stay on the current Senate Capital base on Hosnian Prime, Duran advised me that he would be going on a mission for an indefinite amount of time. A couple weeks after my eighth birthday, he brought me to Corellia to meet with a family named the Novars, the father being one of Duran’s old unit buddies when they were first recruits. They offered to house me while he was away. Without a word of when he would return, Duran warned me to keep my Force sensitivity a secret and to not use it around the family and dropped me off. He thanked Cyril, the father, and his wife, Ranna, shared a few hushed worlds with them, and left.

After they showed me to my room and gave me a tour of the large house, they led me out onto the balcony and down to the private beach and lake they had, where a child seemingly around my age was sitting. 

"Vera," Cyril began, "this is our son Urik. Urik, this is Vera. She'll be staying with us for a while."

The boy looked up at us from the sandy ground. He was my age, perhaps a year younger, had bright blond hair that caught the afternoon sunlight and golden amber eyes.

"Hi." He stood up, acting a bit shy.

"Hi," I replied back, feeling nervous myself. 

This was the first time that I was staying with an actual family that had children my age. It was a bizarre feeling to relax around people, to not have to explain or justify the things I said or felt. I would always apologize if I happened to be in the way or needed something that I couldn’t handle myself, in which Ranna would always brush my hair lightly with her hand and tell me I didn’t have to apologize.

The lack of physical affection I suffered from up until that point prevented me from truly connecting with the three of them at the start. Cyril was gone during the days, but Ranna and Urik stayed at home. After a week or so, I started to listen in on the few homeschool lessons Ranna would give Urik in the mornings. They had enrolled me at the local school shortly after my arrival, though, so I accompanied Urik there. It was rare for me to be on bases that had military families living on them that would have regular educational classes, but I had a few to get myself by aside from what I was able to learn on my own. My knowledge of weaponry, combat tactics, and military terminology surpassed the other education I had; I could disassemble and reassemble a blaster rifle in less than a minute, but I knew next to nothing about the history of the galaxy or the various sciences of the planets, nor the spiritual or philosophical ideas that were shared. 

This dissonance showed early on. I excelled in the physical classes, of course, but as soon as a teacher asked for my opinion on the philosophical nature of the Force, I would feel my heart drop. I’d say I was taught that it was an unnatural phenomenon that caused more harm than any benefits. The answer that flowed from my mouth was in Duran’s words and it killed me to say it. I was truly Duran's daughter, following the philosophy of my superior, and it dug into me deeply, just adding to the void of self hatred I had started to accumulate.

It was those moments, the stark realization that I wasn’t like other children like me, that I had been raised as if I were an adult soldier since birth, that truly made me feel isolated and alone. The larger part of me wasn’t aware of the way I was raised and how it affected others—how apathetic it made me. But there was a small part of me that did, that saw the aftermath of my actions and questioned why I was doing it. The dichotomy was only one of many pieces of who I was that I didn’t understand, that I still don’t. 

Through the first couple of months, I had the hope that I would grow to love the Novars. I wanted more than anything to become close to them to the point that when Duran returned, if he ever did, he would see how different I was with them and let them adopt me permanently. And the first months were wondrous beyond my wildest dreams; Ranna was the first truly loving and motherly figure I had interacted with and I felt her love as if I were her own. Cyril, while mostly away during the days, always said my name with warmth and welcome that created a sense of ease when in his presence. Urik was kind and playful and had become my best friend early on.

I didn’t exactly know when that all shifted. It felt as if I woke up one morning and there was complete discord within the family. A dark heaviness settled in the house and I no longer felt the same warmth from the beginning. Ranna and Cyril started to bicker whenever he’d return home, which led to him being absent for days at a time, then to full-blown fights that rattled the walls of the home. They’d have a brief sense of normalcy when they’d come home—as if leaving for a brief time allowed them to shed the negativity—but would always return to the same harsh ways.

Urik became obsessed with spending as much time with me as possible. In the beginning, he was quiet but friendly, easing into conversations with me with a sense of maturity that I appreciated. But like his parents, he, too, changed. He became far more rebellious, which caused strife between him and his parents. He’d convince me to stay out far later than we were allowed at our age, beginning to steal simple things like food, but escalated to other more expensive goods. There were times where he would get caught, both of us spending more than a night or two in jail as punishment from Ranna and Cyril. But Urik loved it all the same.

There of course was a part of me that enjoyed the rebellion. To break free of the constraints placed on me by Duran was an incredible change of pace. I didn’t care if we were breaking the law, getting caught, being reprimanded. I loved the attention Urik gave me, as if I were his best friend and partner in crime. I eventually started to use the Force secretly to get a feel for it for the first time. Every time I would use it, mostly the mind reading and persuasion, I would get a rush from it. Almost like a high; I wanted to use it more and more. Urik eventually caught on, which brought us closer. He didn’t shame me for having it; he reveled in the fact that I was more powerful than anyone around us and encouraged me to use it to my advantage.

God, did I love it. Being able to get away with anything I wanted, go wherever I desired—just the feeling of the Force coursing through me was like I had met my true self for the first time. I noticed the more I used it, the more the energy of everyone around me shifted much quicker and became more severe. It was then that I knew I was the reason the discord ripped through the Novars and touched everyone around me. 

A smaller part of me, the side of that was formed in Duran’s image and was more conscious of my actions and consequences, knowing it was inevitable that someone would notice and discover that the corruption of everyone was my fault. I felt as if the negative was bleeding out of me, through the words I’d say or simply with my presence alone. I’d wake up in the night feeling like I was between my reality and my Force dreams in the cave. The dark I felt around me from the cave echoed while I was awake.

The darker part of me reveled in it.

I had been away from Duran for so long at that point that I convinced myself he wasn’t coming back and I was now free to find who I truly was, to discover what the Force part of me actually was. At ten years old, I had learned to focus on that negativity, that dark echo. I’d sit calmly in the chaos around me and feel the sense of the cave around me. What was once only a dream became a place I could easily access while completely conscious. I’d feel the cool air around me, taste the water in the air, see that figure’s burning red core in my mind’s eye. Focusing on these sensations while literally watching the world around me, I found, made every person around me fall into shambles. Such passionate anger would erupt and fire out of everyone’s mouths. I watched in curiosity and wondered what else I could do with those who weren’t Force sensitive.

I never felt evil, whatever that actually meant. I wasn’t killing people or leading them to their demise—I was meditating on an inherent part of me that I never viewed as bad or evil. This part of me was a beautiful mystery that I was forced to repress out of survival. But this freedom allowed me to discover what it was and who I could become with it. How it affected those around me was no concern of mine.

Maybe I was selfish. But I just couldn’t find a reason to care.

“I can’t take it anymore!” Ranna yelled from the living room as Urik and I walked in from our lessons at school one day. “You tell him to come here now or I’m leaving!”

“Fine!” Cyril yelled back, fueled with the same caliber of frustration. We stood in the foyer that opened to the living room, but they were too blind with rage to see us. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“‘What you can do’ isn’t good enough! I’m going crazy, Cyril! I feel like I’m just being swallowed with hate and anger and I hate it, I can’t stand feeling like I can’t breathe.” She was panting at this point, her hand over her chest. “I only feel this way when I’m here. And I know damn well that you feel it, too.”

“Of course I do, I just handle it better.”

“Fuck off, Cyril.” She hastily turned but stopped as soon as she saw us. “Oh. I didn’t hear you come home.”

“You never do.” Urik rolled his eyes.

“I’ve had just about enough of you, too,” she said sharply, her finger pointing to him. “Both of you leave, please. Go find something to do.”

Urik grabbed the strap of my bag and pulled me towards the hall to his bedroom. He sat heavily on his bed, his bag dropping to the floor as I closed the door behind us. “I hate it here. I swear I’m going to run away as soon as I’m old enough.”

“Why?” I sat at the end of his bed, my back against his wall.

“Are you kidding?” he scoffed. “It’s hell here and it’s getting worse. They blame everything else but themselves for what’s going on, but it’s crap.”

“Why not leave now?”

He sat up. “We’re only ten. How would we get by? Where would we live or how would we eat?”

I shrugged. “It’s easy. We’d just steal food and stay in abandoned homes or sneak into inns. Or join a gang,” I joked.

He had a sense of excitement in his eyes. “You don’t think we’re too young?”

“You are, for sure. With the way they raised you, you wouldn’t last a day without me. But some day, I’m sure.”

—

He fell asleep in my room that night, talking to me about what life would be like if we ran away together. But early that morning, my door slammed open, waking us both up with a start.

“Your dad is here, Vera. Time to leave.” Cyril tossed a large bag into the room. 

“What?” I asked, confused. “Duran?”

“Yes. Come on, pack it up,” he ushered with a hasty tone.

“No, she can’t leave!” Urik protested, stealing the bag away from me.

“Go to your room Urik.” Cyril stared his son down.

“No, not without Vera.”

Cyril, who had never been one to lay a hand on anyone, grabbed Urik roughly by his shirt, ripped the bag away from him and carried him off to his room. Urik called my name, yelling at me to stay, but I knew it was my time. I had corrupted the family enough, and it was time to return to the one person who could control me.

I packed up the few things that were mine and left the room. Cyril stomped up the hallway behind me, Urik pounding at his door, while Ranna was standing beside Duran, looking completely disheveled. 

“Vera,” Duran said as I walked up to him. I couldn’t deny a small sense of familiar relief at seeing him, which I deeply resented.

“Sir.” 

“I appreciate all that you’ve done for me and Vera the last two and a half years,” he said to the two of them. 

“It’s fine, just please—” Ranna started but cut herself off. 

Duran gave a short nod before leaving the house with me in tow. We silently made our way from their house to the transport down the road. I knew questions burned within him—I could sense their presence, and I desperately wanted to know all of them. I wanted to confirm the disappointment I knew he felt of me, further vindicate my annoyance with him. But we remained quiet as we took the transport to the ship docking bay in the city. It wasn’t until we were settled into his ship and in hyperdrive when he finally spoke up.

“I shouldn’t have left you with them for so long.” It was a comment I didn’t expect—I would’ve guessed something more angry or accusatory, but his tone was more sympathetic than I was used to from him.

“Why did you?”

He sighed slightly. "I had to dedicate all of my time and focus on determining if there was an impending war coming. I couldn't spare any of my time watching over you."

“Why did you pick me up now, then?”

“It wasn’t my choice; I still have far too much to handle to also watch over you. But the Novars insisted that I come get you.”

I crossed my arms, a bit annoyed but also vindicated. “I know it was because of me.”

He gave me a slightly derisive look. “Good. So you’re aware of it.”

“ It. ”

“You’re old enough to be aware of it.”

“What, the Dark ?” I mocked.

“That is nothing to joke about, Vera.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Haven’t you seen what happened to the Novars in the two years you lived with them? I’ve known them since I was young and they have not once acted like that.”

“I can’t help it, everyone else seems to get angry or chaotic when I’m around. But what am I to expect when you’re so controlling and isolate me all the time? If I had the chance to socialize and learn to control it on my own, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you.”

“I do, actually. The discipline I have raised you with is what’s best for you, and I expect you to return to the same attitude we had prior to your stay with the Novars. Understood?”

“Yes,” I sighed and fell silent. 

As he promised, things returned to normal after the trip home. We moved from New Republic military bases fairly often but centered on planets where the Senate was prevalent. I kept to myself while focusing on the rudimentary education with children my age and the training I’d see of the adult soldiers. Duran’s presence was always around, whether he was with me in person or not.

Within the first month, I began to test how far I could go in evoking the Dark without raising Duran’s suspicions. I started with only doing it at night when I knew he was asleep—I’d sit on my bed, close my eyes and meditate until I felt the coldness on my skin and could see the cave in my mind. Then I began to branch out to imagining myself walking into the cave while in classes or around soldiers in simulations and feeling the air of the room completely shift, whoever I was around quickly turning frustrated or a touch hostile. But I’d always ease up, gathering that negative energy back and watching as things returned to normal. 

The playful depravity I continued with to keep myself sane and entertained didn’t go unnoticed by Duran. I despised how easily he knew when I was using the Force, or even letting it flow through me without actively using it. But without fail, he’d always catch me and reprimand me. I began to only use it every so often at night, feeling like that was the only time I could connect with it. I avoided thinking about Duran in any way and made sure to block him, his presence, and mind away from me in an attempt to protect myself from him during those rare nights. It was a relief when I’d never get a stern talking to in the morning about it from him.

—

         Are you there?

I sat up in my bed one night, slightly startled at hearing the words echo in my mind. Was I dreaming? The words felt real, as if someone were speaking to me directly, but I felt the timbre of their voice resonate in my soul. It evoked the same kinetic feeling the Force had.

“Who are you?” I whispered aloud, focusing on the feeling.

         I don’t know what you see me as.

I knew in some innate part of me that it was the figure from the cave. I closed my eyes and focused on his voice, attempting to talk to him telepathically.

I think you’re a dark figure with red burning at the center for me. I see you in my Force dreams in a cave.

         I see you in my Force dreams, too. I’m surprised that I’m able to speak to you now.

I thought you were part of my imagination. You’re real?

         Just as you are.

Why are we able to talk to each other now?

         We're connected by the Force, so perhaps it's because we're both using it now?

I don't use the Force at all, except for visiting the cave a couple nights a month. But maybe you're right; we can speak when I accidently tune into it. Do you use the Force?

         Yes, I've grown up using it. Why don't you?

The way I was raised, I guess. My caretaker has always held the notion that the Force is a negative thing and shouldn't be used. I hate to admit it, but he's been right... at least with me.

         Wow. I've had a completely different experience with it.

How so?

         It's… like breathing. I feel that it's a necessity for me; that I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't using it. It connects me to everything in the universe, physical and non-physical. 

Oh. I frowned. I want to know more about it, but it's just corrupted and ruined everyone around me.

         Are you going to train with it? That would probably help you on the right path. 

No, I'm sure my caretaker would rather me die than train with it.

         That's tragic. I'm deeply sorry.

It's okay. It at least allows me to connect with you. You're not evil though, right? I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if you were. It’s seemingly all I attract with the Force.

         No, of course not. I felt his energy lighten.  

Good, I chuckled. I want to get to know you, but I'm terrified of being found out. He somehow knows when I use the Force.

         I want the same. But I would want you to be safe.

Maybe we can talk at a later time?

         When you feel ready to. Just tune into the Force and speak as if I were with you.

I hope that's soon.

         I do, too.

Being safe, I closed off the connection and buried the Force inside, hoping that Duran wouldn't have sensed me using it. What he said regarding his connection to the Force made me curious—it was the complete opposite than what I was raised to believe. It was something I deeply resonated with and wished more than anything could live that way. But the uncomfortable cot beneath me in unused quarters was enough of a reminder of how my life truly was: secret and oppressed by the cold military mentality.

Every so often when I would feel comfortable enough, I would tune in. I’d immediately feel his energy, which always caused a bright burst of excitement. Our conversations were short, basically just saying hello—I wanted to know more about him after six or so months had passed from our initial contact, so I tried to push for him to open up.

         I can’t. I’d like to, but I have a bad feeling about it.

Why?

         I can’t explain it. I already feel that what I know about you is building to something dangerous. I’ve started to mentally block all of our conversations and what I learn about you because I just… I have this feeling I need to.

Are you ashamed of our connection?

         No, absolutely not. I want nothing more than to talk to you until the Void calls us. But I foresee trouble ahead if we do.

That probably means we should keep conversations at a minimum and nothing of importance, right?

         Unfortunately. But you'll at least always feel my presence, as I always feel yours.

That’ll be enough, I think. I hope.

After that decision, our direct contact diminished. He was right, though; if I ever felt the need to tune into the Force and feel him, he would always be there. He radiated warmth and comfort and harmony unlike anything else I had ever experienced and all I wanted to do was live with that feeling for the rest of my existence. I found that as years passed, that was enough for me to feel like I wasn't alone in the world.

Even with finding this connection and having an overwhelming desire to leave everything behind and find out who he was, I knew I had to learn to find purpose in my life outside of him. I took our decision to remain anonymous for each other's safety to heart; I suspected if I knew any identifying information about him, Duran would inevitably find out and I couldn't bear the thought of him being hunted down or something to that effect. Duran never explicitly said that the Force was bad and those who were Force sensitive shouldn't be allowed to use it, but god, the way he raised me to do just that made me think otherwise. So ultimately, keeping the Force figure a secret was best and kept him safe as well.

· · ─────── ·༓· ─────── · ·

[justjessame]

Light Through the Darkness: Chapter 40

Morgan House~ February 2010

Abigail had found the safe. It was hidden in the room Damon had chosen for her. Unlocking it with one of the keys on the keyring she'd found in the desk drawer, she found a clutch of papers that made less sense than the letter she'd found in the grimoire.

Somehow she had identification. New, modern if the look and feel of them were any indication. Virginia State identification card, social security card, and banking information, plastic cards that had her name on them as well. How they came to be hidden in this safe was another mystery. Add it to her growing list.

Contemplating a trip to the bank to use her newly acquired IDs, she wasn't surprised to hear a knock on the front door. Groaning loudly and expecting Damon to be waiting, she walked slowly downstairs. As she approached the door, she called out a warning to him, reminding him that she didn't want to see him.

"Damon, I told you, your invitation was rescinded." Opening the door, she felt her eyes widening as she encountered a different Salvatore and the woman from the photo on Damon's phone.

"Ah." She said, stepping out of reach, just in case. "Unexpected guests."

"Abi," Stefan said, surprised to see her standing in front of him wearing a pretty short dress and Keds.

"Stefan." She replied, no fear present in her countenance. "And Elena Gilbert." She nodded politely to his companion. "To what do I owe this, I can't honestly say pleasure, visit."

Standing in front of her, Elena was struck by how tiny she was, yet her bearing was so regal. Even displeasure didn't make her face unattractive. She didn't offer them entrance, and Elena could appreciate the caution.

"We wanted to check on you." Elena offered.

Returning her attention to the Gilbert girl, Abigail was amazed to find she was being sincere. Odd on the face of Katherine Pierce.

"Does it ever feel wrong to be with someone whose looks are identical to her, but her personality is entirely different, Stefan?" She asked, still studying Elena. Not allowing him a chance to answer, she answered the girl's concern. "Thank you for your concern. I'm fine. Used to being alone. I've had 146 years to grow accustomed."

She moved to shut the door. "He's miserable." Stefan offered. "It's how I realized you were awake. Elena caught him staring at a photo of you he's had hidden away all this time."

She glanced into the eyes of the boy she'd barely known. He became a monster once, but now, standing before her was the young man he should have been. The one she'd believed she could have grown to love, or at least live with for a lifetime.

"I'm sorry, Stefan." She answered, going for nonchalant, but hearing her own pain. "He never thought of me after he ran from this town, and he admitted to returning only for HER. If he's miserable, which I'm certain he'd recover from soon enough, he's earned it. Now, as lovely as this visit hasn't been, I have some errands to attend to, and you're keeping me."

Stefan nodded. Arguing with Abigail would get them nowhere. "Goodbye, Abi." He said, turning away. "I am happy you're safe and back."

He caught her curt nod as she shut the door. Elena glanced at him, but saw that he wasn't going to speak just yet. Getting in their vehicle, and starting back, he finally answered.

"Arguing gets you nowhere with Abigail." He said, shaking his head when she wanted to argue. "I lived in the same house with her, Elena. Damon never won an argument with her. Other than once."

"When your mother was dying." Elena remembered Damon's story coming back from Atlanta. "He told him about being on the same page with your father for once."

Stefan nodded, remembering the pain of losing his mother. "That was the only time, and I think it was simply because it was less argument and more grief."

Elena understood. Her next question was one he had no answer for, however. "How do we fix this?"

1st National Bank of Mystic Falls

Abigail smiled at the teller standing before her as the woman checked her identification against the bank documents.

"Everything is in order, Miss Morgan. Your balance will be at the bottom of your receipt, but if you'd like to make an appointment to speak with an account manager to check your other accounts we can make those arrangements as well." Her smile was generic, but Abigail maintained her dignity.

"Thank you, Sara. I'll set an appointment at a later date." She took the envelope containing her money and IDs and turned to leave. She needed to shop for more clothes, and look into a cell phone like Damon had shown her how to use. Where to first?

Exiting the bank, she felt a pang of hunger. Food then. Glancing around she noticed a building with a sign reading "Mystic Grille". Promising if the smells wafting toward her from its direction, she crossed the street, careful of cars. The smell of cooking food grew as she moved closer to the door.

Entering, she took a moment to adjust to the change in light and the noise. Ugh, these people and the need for music, banging, clanging all the time. A young blonde man in a shirt sporting the name of the establishment over his heart.

"Table, booth, or bar?" He asked, smile genuine.

Biting her lip, she allowed him to pick. He gestured for him to follow her and pulled out a stool at the bar for her to sit on.

"Sorry, but my boss prefers single customers here, unless you ask for different arrangements."

"It's fine, thank you." She smiled as he handed her the menu. She was focused on ignoring the noise, and studying the overwhelming amount of choices offered on the menu that she didn't realize she was being watched.

From a table behind where Matt had seated her, Damon sat with Ric who had forced him out of the house. Nursing a bourbon, he had turned as soon as she entered and watched her progress to her seat. She was still wearing the dress he'd picked out, this time she'd paired it with the denim jacket and boots. She'd also managed to braid her hair into a long rope over her shoulder. God, she was beautiful.

Ric's eyes followed his. She was a tiny thing. Her hair was long enough to hang to her waist, even braided. He couldn't see her face, but Damon was locked on her.

"Do I need to rescue that young woman from your clutches, Damon?" He teased, knowing that whatever was bothering Damon could end up making him dangerous to unwitting strangers.

When Damon pulled his eyes from the girl's back, and locked onto Ric's, his friend saw a pain he'd never seen on the other's face. "If there is any one person in this God forsaken town that's completely safe from me, it's her."

"Who is she, Damon?" Ric asked, watching the torment on Damon's face as she interacted with Matt. Taking her drink and ordering lunch.

"She was the dream," he said, knocking back his drink. "And she despises me."

Ric gestured to a passing waitress, signally for another round. "What's her name? And why haven't I ever heard about her?"

Damon wanted to get up and leave, but he felt rooted to his seat. He watched as Abigail interacted with Donavan. Her easy smile, which he got a flash of when she realized her stool could spin, and the light in her eyes at the ease she was finding in fitting in made it impossible. When she sat, asking the useless blonde questions about the menu's offerings while sipping ice water, Damon choked out the tragic backstory to Ric. Everything from meeting to their last encounter.

Ric listened, not only to the story, but to the pain he heard in Damon's voice. Damon, the vampire he equated with all the bad traits that he fought against, was sounding incredibly human.

Damon finished the tragic tale of love and loss, and knocked back another drink. Abigail had settled on a simple salad, and he watched as Donavan was joined by Caroline in keeping her company. If he chose, he could eavesdrop, but even he had limits on what he'd do. Especially since she asked him to stay away.

"Why are you sitting here, moping?" Ric asked, darting attention between the two. "You love her, you dumbass. Fight for her."

Damon raised an eyebrow. "She told me to stay away, Ric. And she always gets what she wants."

Ric rolled his eyes. "She's pissed because you gave in, Damon." He was amazed by how easily Damon was rolling over. ""Women, especially those in love for as long as she's been, want to come first. You failed her and admitted to it. Now you grovel and plead with her for forgiveness. If that doesn't work, presents. If that doesn't work, you find the one thing she wants more than you, and give it to her. The point is, dick, don't give up."

Damon, still watching as Abigail effortlessly charmed Caroline, Donavan, and anyone who came into her orbit, was listening to Ric's advice. Weighing it against their conversations since he transitioned, he realized her issues were obvious. Everything had gone downhill as soon as she saw the picture with Elena. And, of course his confession about Katherine.

"Dammit." He snarled at himself. "Giving up isn't really my style anyway." His swagger coming back, slowly but surely. He was considering how to bring her around to even entertaining the sight of him. "Abigail is notoriously headstrong, Ric. How do you fight for someone who won't even allow you in her orbit?"

While Abigail sat barely ten feet away from Damon, Ric educated his pal on how to break through to an angry, hurt lover. And for once, his friend paid attention, because if there was any possibility of getting Abigail back into his arms, then he'd do it.

[asrisgratitudejournal]

Oxford

Wow… terakhir menulis adalah 17 Agustus 2023 dan ini sudah 18 hari setelah itu aka 2 mingguuu. Dari kemarin sesampainya di Oxford udah mau nulis padahal, bahkan kepikiran apa menulis di flight ya karena lumayan lama juga kan itu 8 jam x 2 jadi pasti bisa banget menulis… tapi tentu saja si Asri ini anaknya hanya nge-plan saja tanpa eksekusi. But anyway, here I am! Back in my office 30.18 di department dan bingung mau ngapain lagi hari ini karena target ngemail Alex udah, terus submit GSR juga udah. Sekarang lagi kelaperan aja nunggu jam makan siang… Maka dari itu memutuskan untuk menulis di sini!

WOW. Jujur tapi sejak tanggal 17 Agustus ni hidup sangat roller-coaster sekali gatau mau cerita dari mana. Ok. Highlight pulang ke Jakarta dulu: the MAIN REASON why I went back to Indo in the midst of August di saat harga tiket lagi mahal-mahalnya dan berujung akhirnya I spent £1200 from my own pocket for return ticket: MITA’S WEDDING!!! Sangat fun, I enjoyed most of my time on the day (despite the heat, karena konsep resepsinya Mita adalah outdoor – di TENGAH-TENGAH KOTA JAKARTA, jadi kurang panas apa kan ye). Terus tapi jadinya yaudah most of my time ya I spent di ruangan ber-AC dong jelas Hamdalah. Terus tapi ya seru aja, bajunya Mita bagus, the akad went very smoothly (despite the fact that I got told off by the MC gara-gara I bersorak-sorai di tengah ke-khidmatan acara, in my defense: That’s a HAPPY DAY! We should be happy??!). Terus Mita dan Adam danced to Arctic Monkeys’ I Wanna Be Yours (proceed to sing “I wanna be your vacuum cleaner…”). Mita dan geng cosmicnya juga ngedance sangat bagus remix XG dan beberapa lagu hits lainnya, ditutup dengan flashmob pake Timber.

Terus kemudian selain Mita’s wedding, highlight pulang kemarin tentu saja: MEETING FRIENDS. Huhu literally support system-ku tuh emang udah established sekali di Indonesia. Di sini juga okay… tapi main-nya ya jelas masih di Jakarta. Ku senang sekali pertama-tama, karena IGEO! (semua cerita ini sudah ku recount di previous post walaupun ku belum mention nama orang-orang yang aku sangat bersukur bisa ketemu dan catch up with lagi sih… Ku tulis sekarang deh: dari urutan ketemu kali ya...)

Abi di stasiun Gambir. Abi made like 30% of my Indo trip actually. Terima kasih banyak Abi… (1) (kayanya harus ada dedicated post buat bahas trip sama Abi). Nyampe Novotel ada Clint (2) (yang supersibuk tapi emang ni orang keren banget deh dedikasinya ke IGEO dan comaradeship with Pak Samsul w ngefans), terus Diani (3) karena dia yang ngurusin kunci kamar, yakin sempat papasan dengan beberapa anak pelatnas tahun baru-baru yang I might have talked to/seen virtually tapi ya mereka ga nyapa jadi yasudah saya tidak sapa balik lah ya daripada SKSD terus salah. Terus tiba-tiba ada tim akademik muncul pada mau lunch: Maska (4), Iqbal Hakim (5), Ipam (6). Terus kan habis itu gabut ya, jadi ketemu Iqbalpaz (7) di Eiger (ini agak redundant udah dibahas di post sebelumnya kayanya). Malemnya makan lagi sama Abi terus pas balik lewat resto ada Ditauv dan teman-teman pelatihan gurunya. Besoknya moved to Aryaduta ga ketemu siapa-siapa sih… Di Savoy Homann palingan yang paling aneh karena ada PAK IDWAN SUHARDI (8)??? Kemudian tentu saja bertemu Pak Irdam (9) dan Pak Djati (10) dan Pak Samsul (11) dan istri (12). Terus di acara opening ketemu beberapa anak yang menyapaku (dan salim) yaitu Pradipta (13). Malemnya di gedung sate baru bertemu Prof Ewa (14) dan (soon-to-be-bedroom-mate) Nashita (15), sapa-sapaan dengan Pak Wiwin (16) dan ngobrol tentang publish di jurnal juga dengan Pak Joko Wiratmo (17). Kemudian ketemu Rubens (18) dan Aned (19) juga ga sengaja di masjid gedung sate. Terus ada Izza (20) dan Aji (21) juga. Bahkan malemnya sempat jajan bola ubi dulu sama Aji.

Besoknya Bintang (22) datang, ada Fernando (23) juga entah membantu Pak Samsul terkait apa, sepertinya merch. Terus udah seharian ya hangout sama Bintang dan Aji aja. Malamnya ke Savoyy Homan datang technical meeting FWT ada Gammanda (24) juga nyapa (by this time, ku sudah bertemu dengan semua timnas IGEO 2021). Di tim akademik juga akhirnya ketemu sama Hadyan (25) yang super pendiam bingung mau ngobrol apa. Terus pas FWT day seharian lupa ngapain siangnya, tapi sorenya sangat recharged karena jalan-jalan di Tahura sambil dengerin Ipam curhat panjang kali lebar terkait banyak hal. AH pas di bis ini ketemu YAMINNNN (26) omg keren banget ni orang sekarang di Ruang Guru dan lulus dari Geografi UI dengan skripsinya adalah bikin peta stasiun kereta api untuk tunanetra??? Super mindblowing.

Yang ditandain di atas tentu saja adalah orang-orang yang sudah kukenal sebelumnya. Masih nambah orang-orang baru yang baru dikenalin seperti komitenya IGEO: Sue Lomas, Su-Min, tim akademik si Hana, dan beberapa tim task force lain.

Kemudian besok paginya ku ke Sabuga opening acara Expo ga ketemu siapapun… kecuali Fayola (27)?. Terus ke ITB deh bantuin tim akademik nempelin stiker nomer buat FWT, ketemu Tika (28)! Yang ternyata dia sempat ke Jakarta untuk nonton TXT dulu… Terus setelah ini sepertinya agak turun angka ketemu orang barunya… Kayanya cuma ngobrol sama Adel(29) aja yang lagi jaga stand sama Izza pas cultural night. Ada kenalan sama beberapa anak baru sih pas di Aryaduta yang tugasnya harusnya Expo/pelatihan guru/poster gitu tapi gainget namanya maafkan aku guys… Oh ada Fachri! (30) anak SMA8 HAHA tapi ku lupa mention. Ku juga sempat ngobrol dengan anak GEA 2019(?) yang jaga stand GeoPark tapi lupa namanya juga. Udah deh besoknya pulang. WOWWW dari IGEO aja literally ketemu 30 orang++ … kayanya ya emang dasarnya extrovert aja ketemu banyak orang menjadi senang. Terima kasih IGEO2023!

Itu IGEO literally sepertiga my trip to Indo…. Baru seminggu… Kayanya 2 minggu ke depan gaakan ketemu orang sebanyak itu sih, tapi mari kita hitung dan lihat:

Iqbal Lail (31) my love yang menemani-ku makan gulai otak, Nerissa! (32) terima kasih lagi Es Teh Manisnya!!!, Bu Ika (33) karena besoknya ke UI, Arif Rahman (34) walaupun cuma 2 jam kita ngobrol sambil jajan ayam mentega Dalas dan jus alpukat (seneng bgt btw muka Bapak dan Ibu Jus Dalas sangat sumringah pas melihat mukaku jadi terharu),terus sekalian aja ye geng UI jadi satu di sini walaupun baru ketemunya minggu depannya di hari Selasa: Mbak Rani (35) dan Mas Gamma (36) yang lagi sibuk mengurusi pindah jabatan Koordinator Akademik prodi :’).. Pak Supri (37) yang sudah menemaniku menghadap ke Pak Dekan, Mas Reza (38) dan Mas Rezky (39) yang sedang sibuk interview asisten sedimentologi pas kusamperin, Mas Rezky special mention deh karena udah ngebelain balik lagi ke Gedung A padahal udah pulang HAHA. Terus rekan seperjuangan ukhty Mba Fatimah (40). OH pas ke UI Rabu yang gaada orang sempat ngobrol sama Mas Iskandar (41)! Beliau nanya di UI ada void yang bisa diselidiki gak ya…? Terus bingung…. Void apa yang ada di man-made area…? Akhirnya kami sepakat tidak ada void di UI yang bisa diselidiki… Mas Aulia (42) juga tiba-tiba muncul sambil curhat papernya dirombak akibat faktor kompaksi natural harus ada yang dimasukkin lagi… Udah sepertinya itu aja, ada Mas Arif dan Mas… OMG lupa satu lagi namanya siapa OB Gedung A…

Kamis family day aja makan AYCE di Kemang sama Papa, Mama, Mita (yang ini ga dinomerin karena core banget literally pulang ya buat ketemu mereka bertiga ini kann).

Jumatnya! Ketemu Didi (43) makan chicken waffle di Pancious sency, ku sangat senang ketemu Didi karena satu-satunya temanku yang relatable kalau ngomongin konser deh kayanya. Dilanjut “ngebacot" session bareng Irfan (44) di Sushi Hiro, lalu ketemu Cita (45), Jordan (46), Gita (47). Malamnya ada unfortunate event yaitu insiden Blue Bird tapi males ceritanya di sini, next time aja lah ya. Udah ku-tweet juga kok.

Sabtunya ketemu 120110xx-kuuu di GI, tadi Ner udah dihitung tapi selain itu juga ada Mar Nabilah (48), Meyks (49) dan Harun, lalu Fidhia (50) yang memberiku stiker BTS langsung dari Korea! Malamnya ada webinar online PPI Oxford terkait scholarship scheme, itu selesainya malam banget btw, jam 23 WIB kayanya baru wrap up…

Minggu CFD dan pengajian… Di CFD awalnya mau ketemu Vannia tapi ternyata belum berjodoh untuk bertemu yasudah… Di pengajian lumayan senang juga karena didoakan banyak orang dan ketemu Mamanya Ika dan Bibi-bibinya Ika juga… Tante Ning, Om Cul, Sasha, Rara, Lala, Mbak Eni… (Ini ga kunomerin juga karena masih core family yang karena inilah ku datang ke Indonesia…).

Senin tanggal 21 ke BOGOR! O M God, trip Bogor ini deserve her own post sih karena mayan crazy literally Abi hampir ketabrak motor lawan arus dan gaada zebra cross untuk menyeberang???! Dan kami naik angkot juga beberapa kali. Literally HIGHLIGHT OF THIS INDO TRIP. Kalo ga gara-gara Abi kayanya gaakan merasakan Indonesia yang sesungguhnya. Trip ini juga udah di-tone down karena awalnya ABI NGAJAK KE PUNCAK PASS NAIK ANGKOT??! (INSERT SKULL EMOJI HERE). Tapi ku-tolak mentah-mentah. Good decision indeed.

Terus besoknya Selasa 22 ke UI bertemu semua warga UI sudah disebut di atas, plus siangnya JALAN KAKI DARI GEDUNG A KE MARGO CITY untuk makan Mozaru Zenbu bersama Vannia (51)… Akhirnya… Seru mayan obrolannya. Malamnya dari UI langsung ke Plaza Kalibata untuk bertemu Diena (52)! Dikasih hadiah pulak sama Diena berupa kerudung HUHU makasih lagi Diena… Baik banget pusing. Dan selamat wisuda S2 juga!!! Oh iya kemarin Gita juga ngasih kerudung (yang kupake sekarang banget ini selagi mengetik ini di office, terima kasih Gita!).

Rabu ketemu Jeremi!!! (53) yang lagi dijodohin – agak bingung ya Wak… terus Irfan lagi, lalu Iqbal dan Ishaidir!(54) Cukup aneh menemukan nama Ishaidir di nomor 50-an melihat intensitas komunikasi kami yang sering banget telponan Oxford-Jakarta?? Tapi tbf sejak Ishaidir pindah ke CGG jadi lebih jelas sih ni anak pattern hidupnya, gak banyak bergadang, jadi bagus. Pertahankan, Dir!

Kamis ketemu geng SMA16: Alfina (55), Rendy (56), dan Bu Novi (57) di PS. Diskusinya sangat berfaedah senang banget ketemu Rendy tuh, ku kayanya ga punya teman yang se-cablak Rendy while also being relatable. Dari situ langsung naksi ke Megaria (hhhh terlalu banyak kenangan di tempat ini… sejujurnya cuma 1 sih…) ketemu Muthi (58)!!! Muthi makan pempek terus kita ngadem di Sbux lalu jalan ke Kimia Farma dan jajan di depan Stasiun Cikini. Muthi nge-treat semua jajanku! Dari es teh manis, siomay, sampe telor gulung HUHU. Terima kasih Muthi!

Dari situ ke daerah Sisingamangaraja buat acara OXSI yang duh sorry banget tapi not my kind of event ajasih. Ketemu banyak banget incoming freshers 2023 (yang adalah orang Indonya ada 20 MBA students???), salah satunya adalah Aji. Dan senang aja catch up dengan old friends: Cita, Jordan, Alris!(59), Ronny (60), Carina (61). Ada beberapa familiar faces juga anak-anak undergrad Ox yang lagi summer break…

Besoknya ISTIRAHAT dari bertemu orang…. Malamnya dinner Jardine di Mandarin Oriental sambil certificate awarding karena ku angkatan Covid… Bertemu teman lama juga, teman-teman Jardine angkatan 2020-ku: Randy Taufik (62), Randy Cambridge (63), Dara Nasution (64). Terus beberapa anak baru Jardine incoming 2023 ini salah satunya Alvin KI ITB 17(?) yang akan ke Cambridge ambil Nuclear???, Annisa (yang ternyata adalah istrinya Mas Yusuf???), Aji (lagi HAHA, atp Aji udah di rangking 3 di bawah Abi dan Iqbal Lail di list orang terbanyak kutemui di trip kemarin), Lulu! yang udah ngechat di DM Instagram (dan ku dibawain oleh-oleh snack dari Lampung juga HUHU terima kasih Lulu). Oh iya, terus pas lagi nunggu di lobi papasan sama Adit Parama! Dulu kenal pas di TOTAL Balikpapan, ternyata dia lagi abis interview Jardine-ITB jugaa, super seru! Senang sekali juga ketemu lagi Mba Michelle (65), Kak Kaca (66), Mba Lhuri (67), Mba Chacha (68). Tentu saja ku juga senang bertemu my Jardine interviewers ada Pak Jonathan Lloyd, Pak Budi Astra, dan Anthony Nightingale… Ku juga sangat senang karena pas lagi dinner duduk di sampingnya persis Prof Taufiq Astronomi ITB! We had a very insightful talk sangat senang HUHU dan ngefans sama Bapaknya.

In which I just remember HOW TF I forgot to put meetup with Geng Sampah di Seribu Rasa Menteng right after dari Bandung di sini??! HHHHH udah dapet nomor belakang-belakang deh… Tapi gapapa, kalian tetap nomor atas single digit di hatiku (awwww). Iya, jadi habis dari Bandung, turun kereta langsung ke Menteng untuk bertemu my 2nd biggest support system of Asri setelah my own bloodline: Geng Sampah. Reyhan (69) (special number for you), Ulya (70) dan Kak Trap (jadi satu ya, soalnya kan kalian soulmate hehe), Lambang (71), Misly (72), Reza (73) dan Anita, serta Teguh (74). Terima kasih sudah made my day dan made a really safe space dari jaman TA di Timor sampai sekarang (WOW lama juga). Pokoknya betulan di geng ini aku gapernah takut ngomong apapun, dan beneran didengerin dan direspon huhu. Semoga sukses selalu dan lancar-lancar semuanyaa. Kemarin juga habis bertemu Tharina main ke Oxford… Terus barusan banget chat sama Pipit….

Terus udah habis itu ya Sabtu aja acaranya Mita. Orang-orang di sini yang kutemui jelas masih di circle keluarga yang tidak perlu kuberikan number lagi. Tapi tentu saja terima kasih banyak Mita karena acaranya sudah mempertemukanku dengan orang-orang ini yang udah lama banget gak kutemui… Terakhir lebaran 2019 berarti? Terus di tengah-tengah acara resepsi juga ada yang spesial yang kutemui yaitu Judith (75)! Udah janjian tapi susah banget ngepasin jadwalnya, yasudah jadi we decided to catch up di acaranya Mita aja. Sangat hepi. Udah sih sepertinya yang belum kesampaian ketemu ya cuma Aditya Perdana aja HUHU, next time ya Dit…

SEKIAN!!! WAH. Kalau dihitung sama keluarga besar ya literally ketemu dengan 100 orang sih liburan 3 minggu kemarin. Terima kasih banyak lagi terutama kepada Mita karena sudah membuat hajat yang membuatku bisa ketemu orang-orang ini (old friends, new friends, family). Dan somehow ya worked aja gitu pas ada IGEO (gabisa ikutan OSN sih tapi ga menyesal kok karena capek ya ceuuu kerja). Dari 75 orang, 30-nya adalah former students/colleagues di geografi juga sih… Oh iya! Sempat ada online zoom juga di-arrange oleh Reza ngobrolin Nikel! Ga dimasukkin sini karena bukan in-person catch up tapi tetap senang mendengar enthusiasm orang-orang dalam memikirkan ni negara mau dibawa ke mana! Waktu itu ada Adiswara, Faisal, Dirga David, Fahmi, Oddy, Wahyu, Okky(?). Masih didominasi oleh pria sekali dunia per-brur-an ini tapi gapapa pelan-pelan pak supirrrr.

Sampe Oxford lumayan… kesepian… Terutama karena pindah ke rumah baru dan Listi (my new flatmate) lagi conference juga kan. Bayangin habis menjalani 3 minggu yang sangat EVENTFUL bertemu 75 orang terus tiba-tiba ZERO. Apa gak depressed… Untungnya malamnya Puspa dan Zarin langsung datang untuk mengambil titipan… Terus besoknya Tharina datang dan langsung ada acara farewell Mba Lala jugaa (terima kasih Mba Lala sudah diundang HUHU), jadi langsung ketemu warga Oxford ramai-ramai. Dan sekarang ku tinggal satu blok sama Aisha, Rashid, Mas Rifky! Wian juga langsung ngajak catch up sambil transaksi barang. Kemarin Nadia Sampurno sleep-over, Hanif nyamperin ke G&Ds, Diny ke rumah mengambil segondolan titipannya. Dwi juga ke rumah sebentar dan ku dikasih kacang mete!!! Sangat senang.

WAH. Betul-betul ya hidupnya Noni sepertinya memang tidak bisa tidak jauh-jauh dari orang…

Terima kasih banyak YAALLAH dikasih dan dikelilingi orang-orang SUPER DUPER BAIKKKK. Pantesan w spiraling ya first year PhD 2020 nyampe Oxford literally gapunya teman… Untung sekarang sudah WAY BETTER. Semoga ke depan selalu baik seperti ini YaAllah… AAMIIN.

Dah itu dulu sepertinya untuk kebacotan hari ini. Abis ini mau St Giles Fair sama Diny yey! Byea! Wishing y’all a very good week!!!

18:43; 04/09/2023 @ 30.18 EarthSci Oxford Uni

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Assignment of the Duty of the Prophethood and First Muslims

Hazrat Abu Bakr is in the Rank of Muslims

Hazrat Abu Bakr had been one of our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) closest friends for a very long time. They would get together and meet with one another in a very sincere fashion.

His most striking feature was that the ugly customs, bad manners, and lifestyle of the Age of Ignorance had not corrupted his disposition and that disbelief had not contaminated his mind, heart, and soul. He was a renowned merchant. The tribe’s leading figures always benefited from his ideas. He was the one who had solved the blood feuds of the Quraysh. Another one of his important characteristics was that he knew the ancestries, pedigrees, strengths, and flaws of the families of Quraysh very well.

Our Master (PBUH) had just begun to openly deliver his invitation. However, his cause had spread from ear to ear and it was heard by the leading figures of the Quraysh.

Hazrat Abu Bakr had just returned from his journey to Yemen. Abu Jahl, Ukba bin Abi Muayt, and some of the Quraysh’s leading figures went to his home to welcome him. Hazrat Abu Bakr asked, “What happened while I was away from Mecca? Is there any important news?”

They answered, “Oh Abu Bakr, there is a huge affair! Abu Talib’s orphan, Muhammad, has claimed to be a prophet. We deemed it suitable to wait until you returned from Yemen. Go to your friend and do whatever is necessary.”

Hazrat Abu Bakr immediately went to the home of the Master of the Universe (PBUH):  “Oh, Aba’l Qasim! Is it true that you claim to be a prophet, and that you have separated from the tribe, and have rejected and have reviled the religion of your forefathers?”

At first, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) smiled at the words of Abu Bakr, who he had been friends with since childhood. He said, “Oh Abu Bakr, I am Allah’s Messenger who has been sent to you and all humanity. I invite humanity to the one true God (Allah). You should testify as well.”

At one moment, lightning flashed in the realms of Abu Bakr’s mind and heart. He was hearing these words from the Muhammad the Trustworthy (PBUH), his friend whom he had known very well since childhood, the person whom he sincerely loved and respected, and the one from whose lips he never heard a word that contradicted truth. Without hesitating, he immediately embraced Islam and became a Muslim.

Our Master (PBUH) considered Abu Bakr’s not showing any sign of hesitation in the face of this invitation as a huge virtue by saying:

“Everyone whom I invited to Islam, with the exception of Abu Bakr, paused, hesitated, or was astonished. However, when I explained Islam to him, he neither paused nor hesitated.”

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was extremely happy that his esteemed friend had become a Muslim. In regards to this matter, our mother, Hazrat Aisha, related the following:

“No event has made our Holy Prophet (PBUH) happier than Hazrat Abu Bakr converting to Islam in the world.”

A dream that Hazrat Abu Bakr had seen beforehand at a much earlier point in time came true in the following way: In his dream, he saw that a moon had descended to Mecca. It then split into segments and spread to the homes in the city. Afterwards, he saw the reassembling of the pieces and the entering of the moon into its own home.

At that time, some scholars among the people of the book interpreted the dream. They said the awaited prophet would arise from Mecca very soon and that Abu Bakr would follow him and take his place among the fortunate.

Hazrat Abu Bakr did not hesitate to openly disclose that he had become a Muslim.

His conversion to Islam caused a great echo among the Quraysh since he was an esteemed, reliable, sound individual who was always true to his word. His amiability and sweet nature had made him beloved to the tribe.

Hazrat Abu Bakr represented the first link on the chain of Muslim men that were free. Due to his conversion to Islam, this chain of faith slightly widened, the roads expanded further, and the fortunate that walked on the straightforward streets increased. Including Hazrat Bilal-Habashi, the following were the first representatives in the various classes to have become Muslims:

From the women, it was Hazrat Khadija,

From the children, it was Hazrat Ali,

From the free men, it was Hazrat Abu Bakr,

From the freed slaves it was Zayd bin Kharisa,

From the slaves it was Hazrat Bilal-Habashi (Radiyallahu Anhum).

[thepurpleether]

So I decided to have a go at posting some of my stories. Have fun and enjoy 😊

word count: 1.4K

The bell rang to signal the end of the lesson, and I returned from my thoughts to reality. I should have felt guilty for zoning out during history, but during Mr Fisher’s lessons, the most interesting thing in the room was the constant rattling of the air conditioning unit on the ceiling in the corner of the classroom. The bell still hadn’t been changed back to the normal ear splitting ding ding ding, so it was still playing jingle bells every time it rang, despite it being February already. The jingle bells had drowned out Mr Fisher as he tried to explain the homework, and the commotion as everyone rushed to escape his class as quick as possible so they wouldn’t be late to whatever was next didn’t help. My books were shoved into my bag before I slung it onto my shoulder, and it almost made me topple over. Damned laptop and exercise books and textbooks. My bag was always about 7 kilos and I swore it would break my back at some point soon.

Out in the hunger games that are the hallways between classes, the first part of her I noticed was the tell tale red lipstick that she somehow never got told off for despite wearing it everyday and it being against school rules to do so. I could always spot Abi in a crowd because she was the only one brave enough to openly break the rules like this. Brave enough to or stupid enough to, at this point I couldn’t tell. Everyone else just wore a little bit of mascara here and there. I pushed my way over to her through the sea of people, feeling like I was trying to push my way through a stampede.

            “Hi Abi! Did you survive Geography?”

            “Just barely. I thought that Miss Peters would drone on forever. Can barely remember what she said most of the time.”

            We both tried to squeeze our way through the throng of people to get to maths, the faces blending into each other and the walls between us and the classroom at the end of the hall stretching out till it looked like we would never reach the classroom. The white walls that were usually littered with posters and signs advertising each subject were now a blur of colour that went on forever. Then suddenly it was over and we were there and I could see Mrs Harrowe at the front of the class and I could see my desk in the centre of the classroom.

            “Oh, one more thing, actually I’ll tell you after school, there’s not enough time now. See you.” Abi waved to me before heading to her seat at the back of the room.

            I couldn’t focus in the lesson. My favourite subject and I could barely pay attention to anything that was being said. The lesson stretched on forever, like a spring that has been stretched too much, too much so it never recoils back on itself to return to the right length and size. The lesson was that spring, but instead of being stretched too much, it was still being stretched, pulled from both ends by invisible hands that would never let go, never let the lesson end, the tick tick tick of the clock as each second ticked by stretching out so every second felt like an eternity. An eternity that somehow stretched on forever yet passed in the blink of an eye to disappear into the past only to repeat over and over again.

What did Abi want to tell me? Surprises were good. Surprises were good. Surprises. Were. Good… Right? When was the last time a really big surprise was a really bad surprise? Last month, when Jordan went to hospital, that’s when. So whatever Abi had to tell me, it had to be good. It had to be. It had to be because I had already dealt with enough small bad surprises in the past month to total one really big bad surprise. It had to be good because I couldn’t take another big bad surprise. Especially if it was to do with Jordan. 324,000 eternities later the jingle bells brought me back to reality again, and I was faced with the very empty page in front of me, filled only with the notes that Mrs Harrowe specifically told us to copy down. I would have to ask Abi for the notes. Least she could do is let me copy them since she was the reason I was zoned out the entire lesson.

The 7 kilo bag back on my back I headed back out into the stampede. Only this time I wasn’t trying to push against it, everyone was going the same way as I was headed. It was much easier to get through to the front doors when everyone else was trying to do the same thing as well. Still felt like the hunger games as I reached the doors, everyone attempting to squeeze through the double doors at the same time, which was inevitably not going to work, yet everyone still thought it would, or that everyone else would realize this and let them go through first because they couldn’t all get through at once.

The sunshine was bright on my face, and it warmed up my entire body. Whatever Abi had to tell me couldn’t be bad if the weather was this good. If my life was a book, then the weather would be miserable if the news was going to be bad. Its just good writing. Pathetic fallacy and all that. But since the weather is good, then the news had to be as well. That would be some sloppy writing otherwise. The sun was shining and there was nothing that could go wrong. Nothing would go wrong. Everything would be fine.

I spotted Abi outside, the sun reflecting off of her hair. Again everything was going to be fine. I navigated my way over to her, much easier outside than in the claustrophobic hallways, her red lipstick acting as a beacon, standing out in the crowd. 

“Hi! What was it you wanted to tell me?”

I kept telling myself that everything was going to be fine, and nothing bad was going to happen. I was lying to myself. I had been lying to myself for the past 324,420 eternities. My world had shattered months ago when Jordan went to hospital, and my world had shattered again that day, even as the sun had been shining in the sky, even as I had been baking in my school uniform. Yet the world still had to continue, and my world did too, even though it grinded to a halt that day on the tarmac, standing in the sunshine outside of school.

“Its about Jordan.”

“What about him?”

I already knew the answer, but there is always just a part of a person that doesn’t want to accept the inevitable, that doesn’t want to accept the reality that someone they love is never going to greet them with their cheerful smile again. My world grinded to a halt that day, yet it still had to carry on. Isn’t that unfair? How is it fair that someone can receive the most earth shattering news of their life, and is expected to carry on as if nothing happened at all, because everything else doesn’t stop because of this, it continues to move, and if you stop then you get left behind, but its not. Your. Fault. And you can’t just go on but you have to. How is that fair? 

Some surprises are lovely and welcome and you would be ecstatic to hear about them on the tarmac standing in the sunshine outside of school. But that isn’t all surprises, because in this world, children are taught from a young age to always play nice and be fair, but why should they? The world isn’t fair. No, if the world was fair, people would not receive the darkest, most earth shattering news on the brightest of days. If the world was fair, best friends wouldn’t die without warning, but it wasn’t. Because the world wasn’t fair and it never had been. Because not all surprises are welcome.

“He didn’t make it.”

[leatherandvengeance]

whatever you think you know about ABIGAIL PIERCE, the 40 year old, HETEROSEXUAL, NEW COMER, it is likely time for you to start reconsidering. the rumored HUMAN is often described as PRAGMATIC + METHODICAL, but don’t let them fool you; they can also be CALLOUS + ALOOF, which often has them regarded as the SCIENTIST. they are a DIRECTOR at NEW HOPE HEALTH CENTRE, but it’s also said they are an AFFLUENT MEMBER within SPEAR INC. whatever you hear, you can’t deny there’s more to them that meets the eye, and it’s time we start uncovering the truth.

Abigail Pierce was born in a small town in North Carolina, where her father ran a biker club. It meant that growing up, Abigail was exposed to the world of violence and crime at a young age, normalising what she saw, and wanting to grow up to be just like her parents. Despite her father's criminal activities, he had a strong sense of justice and instilled in Abigail a code of honor and loyalty.

However, when Abi was 18, her mother was killed by a rival gang, igniting rage against the people responsible, having no hesitation to kill if she were to find them. Depsite her father’s grief and anger, he refused to let her get involved - or at least directly. One day she was at home when she received a call from her father with a location - heading there immediately, she watched as her father tortured the man responsible, and as horrific as it was, she was amazed by it.

After finishing high school, Abigail joined the military and became an army medic, having had a keen interest in biology all through high school. It was while she was serving overseas she encountered supernatural creatures for the first time. Her first encounter was with a group of vampires that had infiltrated a  small village, seeing them draining the blood from a young girl. Abigail was shocked to see creatures that she had thought were only a myth, and it opened her eyes to a new world, immediately opening fire on the creatures. As much as she wanted to open them up, to see what was inside them, she knew now wasn’t the time, but she told herself as soon as she returned home, she needed to know more.

After her deployment ended, Abigail returned to the US and began investigating the supernatural. She spent several years researching and hunting supernatural creatures, driven by a need for justice and a desire to protect humanity. During her investigations, she came across Spear Inc. Abigail was intrigued by Spear's mission and saw it as an opportunity to pursue her own goals - to study the supernatural, to understand why they work the way they are, and whether they can be cured, or their abilities used to help humanity in their fight against the supernatural. She approached the organization and was quickly recruited due to her military training and combat experience. 

Abigail quickly rose through the ranks due to her exceptional intelligence, strategic thinking, and combat skills, and when there was the need to move to Creation and work their way into the town, she applied as the medical director of the health centre as soon as the previous director was heavily encouraged to retire. 

 As Abigail continued her work with Spear Inc, her cold and calculating personality became more obvious. She views the supernatural as a threat that needed to be eliminated, and is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve her goals, even if it means sacrificing innocent lives. Despite her questionable methods, Abigail sees herself as a hero, saving humanity from the dangers posed by these creatures. Her work with Spear provides her with the resources and support she needed to pursue her mission.

[nityarawal]

Hope you all enjoyed April Fools weekend and lost a few leprauchans of parasitic intent in your lives too!

Hope we can make Thunder happen for my ladies soon - but peace with my family is essential now! Xo

Nitya

Suppanae for 4/3 & 4/13

To be arbitrated & mediated over phone & settled 4/3/23 in Vista Courts 

With my legal team below present, video conference televised or phone.

Sandiego, Riverside, LA Family Courts & PDs to dismiss expired orders for false charges with Pedos from Vista PD: Ashby Clark Sorrensen & Gay silencer Grant Funk who lied & Hustled on video about credentials on Las Calimas videos & calls- also Alibi Darin David Joye to be present & clear foul play with truth from Abi Odam & all testimonies emailed to: nityahuntley@gmail.com 

San Diego DA Summer Stephan to collect maximum refunds from all attys & damages + insurance on all their heads for ghosting me and failing their fiduciary duty to me as their clients -as the defense team continues to do- abusing constitutional civil and real estate laws respecting faith and family bonds.

Estrangement is a UK disease. 

We'd like to "Rewind" all businesses with Dr. Sunil Christopher Rawal- Including Rewind & revert back to 16-17 orders with all returned from scoundrels of courts that were involved in global ponzi scam against my family.

Peace - stop the war- on behalf of mothers of Globe & our daughters. 

Gay defense team failed every code of ethic and should never be allowed kids nor marriage rights. 

We gave you privilege - yet you attacked Vows we shared. 

No rapists shall have our privileges of faith again in union under God. 

I agree with Kim Reynolds of Iowa & will rally for that with her & my cause- to help #FreeBritney & #HalfPersianLivesMatter now. Nor more #HalfPrincessesLivesMatter Shaming from these ghouls in county and state offices. They're unpleasant and all are to be suppanaed abd charged on racist bribes.

Women & moms needed those benefits of marriage laws for donestic harmony- yet they violated moms if faith in these bribes- mean dykes that rape women in divorce courts wont get privilege of marriage protections either.

They Lost privilege of divine union under God in America. 

We all need reparations for injustices and are homes, assets, children & assets restored.

Gratzia!

Merci!

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

My team:

Attys: Roseline Farrel - defends against Persian American racism.

Anette & Carrie Hallneville: failed to mediate or change name.

Tara Yelman: revert back to 2016 orders pre Lori Clark Viviano murder.

Mathew Palmer: said Judge Kelly Mok wanted to hide defense team abuse rather than do family court Dissolution. 

Tony Dunne: screamed at me in urgent care hustling for another $50k on bribes!

Alicia Freeze: managed Alan Silverman's senile orders in 2016 and wrongful restraining from my beach home. She will handle emergency Dissolution and has my files. 

DA Summer Stephan ( charge her husband Judge Sabraw with $5m in bribes last year to traffic his daughter, me, mx kids at border and children whom are victims of divorce courts. Charge her officers for all rapes!)

DA Michael Hestrin & Sheriff Chad Bianco- raping and murdering our community

Officers:

Hanby, Mariano, Lopez & Lardaby testified that Dr. Singh attempted life to Judge Clark with whole nursing staff from Moeno Valley Hospital. 

Peggie Lorenz- useless Sheriff

Daniel Hidalgo- bribed Student Investigator 

Metropolitan Hospital:

Rape police reports

Forced drug full disclosures ( what did they dose and rape me with?) 

Allergic reactions to:

Covid parasites

Syphilis spirochetes in Hospitals

(FYI: Spike proteins are amoebas!) 

Haldol

Zyprexa

Geodon etc.

And all psych med abuse! 

Las Calinas:

Press charges for Dr. Anderson bribing cops to dose me with Depakote as vitamin D. 

Press charges against Dr. Tongue and every Dr. / social worker that was bribed to commit medical malpractice for x attys wrongful arrests. 

To charge with attempted murder and 12 rapes of children and I:

Ashby Clark Sorrenson & Grant Funk are notorious neo-nazi pedophiles in Encinitas. Grant Funk stole custody of toddler daughter; pimping mom on heroin to criminal thieving cop. 

Ashby made invitro children to molest from TJ rather than honoring fiduciary duty to me. 

He never should've had RO approved for business crimes in family law. (Nor should Viviano team to block from home settlement!)

Ashby lied and said he did family & real estate law- then extorted more money for Dr's and Theresa Truchi's fees. She shredded files and failed to perform. Darin David Joye is my Alibi and said I was a "job."

On phone safe (from home):

Parents: John & Mitra Huntley

Kids: Isha Kyan Rawal

Anjali Prana Rawal

Brother: Haydn Huntley

Cousin: Mary Mahoney Gill

Cusbands: Alidad Bahrami &

Kvon Moezzi 

My gigolos:

Darin David Joye ( works with Odam mediators on bribes & silencing.org)

Robert Dreyfuss ( father murdered by x-team hookers on acquisition of 2 homes!)

Jeremiah Curcie- marine who drunkenly raped me from Barbara Bradford Farm. (Suppanae mom Sarita Fischer, landladies Barbara & Mary Jane Bradford & handyman Eddy Lyons.)

Oliver Walker- dirty Marine college friend also estranged from mom and gave me bronchitis and ingrown hair infections at urgent care.

Justin Wild: Secret Service set up from Mary Schmitz ( aka defense team daughter and hooker- niece of Mary Kay Letourneau.)

Handymen:

Dennis Sketchley ( attempted murder with Alex Grover AKA Dustin and beat me out of Scenic home after slumlording from 54399 Valleyview with rat disease from Shane Stewart of Idyllwild Realty. Their gang killed Adrien on country club.)

Ryan Wickoff- also referred to Joan

James- referred me to Mary Schmitz

Mark Flannigan- brought used bed and sister works with County to steal children. 

Dr's- saw 9 since Valentine's health crisis from Lymes,, Giardia, Gingivitis - filling fell out last summer! 4 medical dentists only cared about filling.

covid Germ warfare:

Carole Meredith

Amy Bell

Tima Ivanova (her bff witnessed murders of property manager Emily Pearson & husband.)

Dr.  Adam Cash

Red Alinsod ( he had to get me anti biotics in OC when urgent care discriminated against me on head injury and ingrown hair!)

Julie Anne Steiger- Calm and Ground Counseling- CPS hooker took bribes to quit one month shy if 12 month comittment from Ashby Clark Sorrenson. 

Dr Natalya

Dr. Queresheri

Dr. Sina & Staff- Western Dental - cancelled filling 3 days in row- is having a dispute with their corporate office abd is court contentious & racist.

Dr. Nissan & Staff

All IEHP therapists at Calm & Ground Counseling:

Erin Bird 

Dr. Browning

Dr. Judi Milin

Dentists:

Dr. Galli

Dr. Cary O' Reilly

Dr. Tower

Dr. Yudin

Dr. Demorey

All 4 'Medical" Dentists & Metro dentists /Dr's. 

Good Drs:

Dr Blaine Jackson- Solana Beach

Dr. Red Alinsod urogyn.org

Dr. Eric Eisen- kids Dr doesn't feel forced drugs have been good for kids nor Sunils weaponising inside of my family with every low dirty trick possible. 

OBGYN- Encinitas

Naturopaths

Ayurvedic Drs

X- Team 

Dr. Sunil Rawal

Attys: Dr. Alan Silverman (senile)

Jeff Fritz (sociopath who represented Lori Clark Viviano & Diane Monteill Silverman on 7 year custody battle and real estate acquisition I managed. This is a conflict of interest.)

Dorian Silverman & husband Josh.

Monika & Ildiko Fodor - mail order spies

Sonya Sweitch Goodwin- Texas pedophile

Christopher Sunnen- atty attempted murder with investigator Mark Milton 

Daniel Smachtenberger- Dr. Sunil Rawal's pimp with Dr. David Farley Kaplan- bribed Dr. Singh and staff to attempt life with forced drugs, rapes and advertise my head as a Probate on Riverside Healthcare System. (See #FramingBritney & I Care Alot to understand psychiatry murder. Dr. Singh is reported to murder over 70 moms a year at Moreno Valley Hospital on bribes.)

James Smachtenberger- uses Daniel's hookers and pimps experimental illegal drugs to Daniel's  businessmen. 

Cathy Minchkin Bliss- worked for David Farley Kaplan at our NC Spiritual center selling real estate and groomed son in Osho pedophile sex cukt- see wild country on Netflix. 

Morgan Viviano on behalf of dead mom- Lori Clark Viviano

Judges:

Kelly Mok- fired

Assistant presiding judge Judith Clark- recall 

Judge Mathew Brower- recall for pedophilia as a Marine vet

Commissioner Ratekin- recall- doesn't understand real estate or ethics laws.

Judge Sawbraw- recall for pedophile scam at border & divorce courts.

Real Estate:

Neda Nourani

Atty Ken Carlsson

Broker: Roger Lee of Homesmart Realty

Broker: Mike Smith

Broker: Ryan Mahelona

Tina Molina on Tollgate murder of her mom Leslie Wiedner while hospitalized. 

Lexus:

David Santa Monica

California Car Rental wrongful arrest

Toyota Highlander Hit And run- arranged by x's  atty Jeff Fritz Thanksgiving 2016

Lexus Escondido to settle lemon with corporate + maximim damages for years of abuse/terrorism from gay defense team.

Airbnb:

All Raimondis 

Public Defense:

Jay Curatolo

Olesya Adam's

Jordan

Peter Pwun

Kristin Scogin

Mathew Robert's

Sherry Stone

Michael Ruiz

Melissa Ruiz

Whitney Ryan

Marni Entin

(50+ more generic PDs, rotating judges on bribes & Drs need to be added from files.) 

Congressman: Scott Peters

Governors: Jerry Brown

Gavin Newsom

Pilot/Sheriff/Mason/Mother Divine Peace Palace TM teacher & x fiance: Wally Devasier 

To bring airplane from Fairfield, Iowa MIU:

Dr. John Hagelin- Dr. Sunil's mentor that Begged me to date him for 3 years while Dr. Rawal was courting me. 

God mother: Helene Lindblom

Husband: Dennis Raimondi

Stepdaughter: Ayni Raimondi- AirBnb Manager witnessed foul play 

Lakshmi team:

Bruce Hauptmann

Daniel Martinez Hauptmann

Alex Martinez Valponi Devasier Taft

Wallers

Dr Eugene

Rewind Ap Dissolution Team:

Hunt Team:

Jessica Michelle

Mischa

Alan Hunt

James

Jonathan Budd

Andy 

Apple aps 

Rewind ap:

Elon Musk 

Dmv.org 

Reparations for Dr. Sunil Rawal & Daniel Smachtenberger's gay foul play. 

Herahub:

Bonnie Fletcher- viviano foul play client

Felena Hansen: owner

Vanessa Lillegren Elle: tried to hire Lori Clark Viviano- also given lymes std by sex sting thru divorce. 

Pro Bono attys:

Viveka Hess

Nadia Moussa

Atty Brendon Nelson (Wally's father-in-law whose probably younger than him!) 

Honorable Benny Waggoner (Wally's other father-in-law whose younger than him! Magistrate Judge in Iowa who sued our boss Bruce Hauptman- need reperations & recall their degrees.)

Mathew Rosengart- representing Britney Spears and I.

Laura 

Alicia Freeze- is to close case with Ashby Clark sorensen and do emergency divorce Dissolution with courts. 

Dad's atty:

Ed Noyes- need reparations on $50m Tahoe Sands Resort.

Len Labagh - dead- daughter Amy can come in his place.

Partners:

Bob Bernard's

Joel Bernard's

Hollies Bernard's

Judi Bernard's

Jeremy Bernard's 

Manager: Craig Rothen 

Wrongful arrests:

Reparations for every violent officer and atty since 2016 lies on DV record from Dr. SUNIL RAWAL- ALICIA FREEZE CLEARED FROM RECORDS!

Need $50b in reperations. 

1067 Neptune Ave in Encinitas, CA to be reinstated abd custody orders. I was found competent over 6 times. We've found court to be parasitic on bribes and cancerous in bodies- failing to perform ethically. 

Alibis: Najah Dawaji

Moral Askar

Kelsey Mullen - father is a probation officer in Iowa

Matt Dixon- ™ center chair

Ed Mally- Mayor- son was murdered in California

Jyoti- neighbor on country club murder 

Oceana Cotton

Dennis Sketchly

Radar

Alex Grover (aka Dustin)

Liquor Store Alex

Dorian

Radar

Jeremy Parsons- Sheriff

Sergeant Protero 

Moreno Valley Hospital Sergeant Vasquez