#🪽 — ANGEL OF THE CODEINE SCENE.

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — xiao x adeptus!reader

sypnosis. [ angst + reincarnation ]  — Xiao has only fallen in love once, and that love was taken away from him by the war. Rex Lapis resolves to give his only remaining yaksha the epilogue he deserves. status: ongoing (started 12/2/24 — updates once/twice a week!)

01. the war

02. qingxin incense

03. i know you

04. the traveller.

05. mist flower corolla

06. who i am, who am i?

07. fan the flames of the fire

08. tears of luhua pool

09. over and over again

usagi's note: hey omg im learning how to format my posts, anyway I'll post this here first and then maybe on ao3 later in the day hehe.

taglist (open!! send an ask/comment to be tagged!): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss @femaholicc @arietheyluv

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[impala67-cnk]

- 🗡️ Hello hello! for my first post i would like to share this adorable photo of Dean and Cas on here :)).

Creds : : reshipkmm on instagram !!

- 🪽 Again i hope yall like it !! and let me know if i should post more Art i find of these two 🫶🏻.

- 🕸️ Music that would fit Castiel <3

[satocidal]

⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀.Father Of Two, Daddy to Many ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀.

Smut- [🐉]; Fluff- [🪱]; Angst-[🪽]

𝟏. Like for a Possible threesome

𝟐 .Enjoy your pleasure with the Criminal on Lose

ﾟ･｡°*.Slutty Tales of The Cult Master:

— Jealousy Jealousy🐉

Synopsis: He dislikes you and you dislike him, rather simple an ordeal—except it’s not. Not when you’ve got one bed to share and your rival is Jealous for your attention—not when he can’t get enough of hearing your moans.

Word count: 7.7k

— 15 missed calls🐉

Synopsis: Suguru wasn’t a jealous or angry man but then you usually didn’t flaunt your ass a round in a tiny dress either- but hey, Halloween’s every girl’s pass at being a whore, right?

Word count: 3.9k

— Angel of small death and the codeine scene🐉🪽

Synopsis: For money and power, Suguru would do a lot, but for a love he didn’t want? Somehow, he finds himself bending even the strongest of ideals. Five years ago he’d saved a monkey—not actually processing the estranged entanglement that would lead him to.

Word count: 8.7k

— A weird Simp[🪱]

Synopsis: not much can be done when your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings—unless, he does, but then, what if he’s bad at projecting it out? Why, make him jealous ofc

Word count: 1k

— Wanna play Doctor? [🐉]

Synopsis: a simple visit to the doctor—except the Nurse is rather…provocative and the Doctor isn’t exactly the one you made the appointment with &lt;3

Word count: 1.2k

— Business Ventures? [🐉]

Synopsis: just the best business investments—one that involves you, the owner and his bot best friend—and your desires&lt;3

Word count: 1.4k

— Valedicktorian [🐉]

Synopsis: your favourite academic rival, he wants to respect you, he really does—but he just prefers seeing you cry more.

Word count: 5.4k

— A free man🪽

Synopsis: Geto Suguru is a redeemed man—not in your eyes—however, your heart and eyes don’t seem to agree.

ﾟ･｡°*.Sweet Pleasure for the Devotees:

9:20 a.m. [Time Stamp][🪱]

10:18 a.m. [Time Stamp][🪱]

8:17 a.m.[time stamp][🪱]

First kiss[🪱]

His Spring[🪱]

Using him as your chair&lt;;3[🪱]

Of bread and buns[🪱]

In a haunted House[🪱]

Same breed of annoyance[🪱]

Of Missed Flights and Online Games[🪱]

Best Friends Gojo and Geto[3][🪱]

How they kiss you[🐉🪱]

8:23 a.m. [Time Stamp][🐉]

Student Council President[🐉]

Trying to get their Attention[🐉]

Behave[🐉]

ﾟ･｡°*.For the Whores he Adores:

Best Friends Gojo and Geto[1][🐉]

Best Friends Geto and Gojo[2][🐉]

Kink Analysis[🐉]

Brother’s Best Friend[🐉]

Childhood Friend Geto [🐉]

Nerd! Reader[🐉]

What Suguru Geto says in Bed[🐉]

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [01] the war

masterlist / next

sypnosis. [ xiao x adeptus!reader. 1.3k words.angst. ]  — As unbelievable as it was, Adeptus Xiao had caught feelings for the mortal healer he accompanied.

He met you in the Archon War.

Rex Lapis had already given him a new name. A new life. A new purpose.

You were one of the healers in the Dihua Marsh encampment, one of the few who survived the first few waves and got to safety.

Healers were seldom at the time, being the first ones to be killed off.

Your first conversation was when he brought you an elderly woman's frail body. Alive, but injured.

“She requires immediate assistance,” he remembers telling you.

You nodded and were quick on your feet as you laid out a cot for the woman to lay on. You tended to her wounds skillfully.

He noticed you worked faster and noticeably better than the other healers.

You were an asset, he decides.

“Who was your mentor?” he asks as you tend to a different patient.

“My father,” you tie up the bandage, not even flinching when you hear an explosion from afar, “He was an apothecary, a good one,”

The solemn look on your face said it all and he couldn't say a word.

“Excuse me,” you left without another word.

...

It is not long when the adeptus speaks to you once more. This time it is under a calmer situation when he does.

“I never knew Adepti were perverts,” you say and sink the lower half of your face under the water.

The man in question flushed a green color, “Forgive me- I did not mean to, I swear on Rex Lapis,” he says as he turns around and covers his eyes.

You roll your eyes and emerge from the water, to him, he only hears the sloshes of the water as you move.

You put on clothes over your body, one you were supposed to hang up to dry better after your bath in the river.

“Care to tell me what you were doing here, Adeptus?” you ask, arms crossed as you wring out the water from your hair.

“I came to deliver a message, the children of the camp told me you would be out on the river,” he explains, still not turning around to face you.

He probably still thinks I'm naked, you thought but don't make him turn around.

“I did not… expect… to see you…” he clears his throat, “bathing.

You sigh, an honest mistake is an honest mistake.

“You can turn around, Adeptus, what message are you here to deliver?”

“Rex Lapis requires you for the next encampment.”

...

The two of you worked in close proximity after that. Wherever you were, the adeptus followed, Rex Lapis had assigned him to be your protector, after all.

The god who saved you had recognized your expertise, your skill, and you were more than happy to serve, if only to honor and remember your father.

It was there where you started to get to know him better, in the months you had been with him, you learned he flushed green because that's what color his insides were, the Adepti didn't have the same blood as humans.

You learned that he liked silky-feeling food, he did not tell you his reason why. He liked to feel the air in his face. He liked watching from high places. He liked to dance.

He liked you.

As unbelievable as it was, Adeptus Xiao had caught feelings for the mortal healer he accompanied.

Most of all, it was incredibly unbelievable to you.

So much so that you disappeared back to Dihua Marsh encampment overnight without his knowledge, leaving him at the Guili Plains encampment with Guizhong.

He returns to your side before noon strikes.

It had taken you a while to process the entire situation, you didn't exactly have time for… romance.

War was raging on the skyline. Tomorrow was not promised to either of you.

And yet you found yourself returning his affections.

He had stayed by your side all that time, never pushing his intentions, but just wanting your company.

You fell. Hard.

Xiao was a lover under all that armor. He brought you trinkets he'd find on patrols, herbs you needed for medicine, and would stay with you on the nights you needed to break down.

He understood you.

And you understood him.

Because you were a lover under all your armor, too. You'd offer him a hug or even just your hand when it all got too much and he didn't want to be touched, made him tea or set aside rations for him, figured out how to make a silky food palatable enough for him to enjoy, and you gave him peace.

But still, the war rages on and both your duty calls.

...

It was morning, the medicine prepared for your patients and the camp was buzzing.

The Yakshas and Rex Lapis were out defending the northern border, where monsters from the Abyss and malicious gods were aiming to invade and kill.

The emergency horn sounded and then everyone was screaming.

Running, screaming, crying.

There were monsters in the camp, destroying the life you've known for almost a year. Killing the people you've treated.

There, you utter the name he told you to say when you were in trouble.

“Xiao!”

The horn rings in all the Yakshas’ ears the moment it is blown. It was a system Bonanus set up. A special call to let them know their base was in trouble.

But the bastardly creatures kept them from immediately going back. There were far too many, far too vicious. To leave this would mean to let them into Liyue territory.

To let them into Liyue territory would mean to throw a wrench in what they've been fighting for the past few months.

Xiao slashes through a hoard of Abyssal monsters, skewering them with his polearm and slicing it free.

That's when he hears you. The wind carried your plea to him.

But he can't, to abandon Rex Lapis and help back at the camp would mean to break his contract and would mean his imminent death.

He prayed to Celestia to keep you safe.

“Hold on, I'll be there,” he mumbles as he releases a deadly wave of miasma, “even if it kills me.”

He lunges for the god controlling the hoard.

...

He was too late.

The moment the Yakshas came back to camp, everything had been burned into cinders. The stench of iron ran deep into the soil as mutilated bodies laid across what used to be a home.

Xiao panicked and his brothers knew why.

As they stared in defeat, they could only watch as Xiao disappeared and appeared here and there. Looking for you.

“... Xiao..” he hears and he knows he has to find you.

He could barely hear it, your voice was small, he thanks the wind that carried it to him.

He tells your name as he disappeared again.

The adeptus finds you near the river, the overwhelming scent of your blood clouding his sense of smell. Bleeding into the stream of water, carrying it into the sea.

“Hey, hey, you're okay, you're gonna be okay,” he tells you as he carries your body softly.

“... you came…” you whisper.

“You called…”

A small smile paints your pale face.

“We gotta- we have to, I have to get you to-” Xiao chokes through his tears, “Rex Lapis will- You'll be okay, please…”

He sees you shake your head as you raise a bloody palm to cup his face.

“No, don't- don't do that. We have- I- You have to-!” he stutters.

He didn't know what to do.

“Y-you have to- have to tell me how to- how to help, I can help,” he says and you rest your head on his chest.

You always liked to listen to his heart.

“I’m sorry, Xiao,”

“Hey, no, don't say that,”

…

He says your name.

…

“... you can't…” he starts, “you can't leave me, please,”

…

“Not like this,” he whispers, “please don't leave me like this…”

…

“Please.”

...

The Yakshas would record this in the scrolls of history as what they describe as the most blood-curdling, heartbreaking scream they've ever heard.

...

After the war, life became still. Rex Lapis is hailed as the Geo Archon, and their mission changes to rebuilding Liyue.

The people regroup, the people celebrate.

And Xiao is left to mourn the memory of you.

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usagi's note: guys i love xiao sm Iike i have like two other fics planned out for him istg pray for me i rlly dont wanna be ao3 cursed again. 

taglist (open!! send an ask/comment to be tagged!): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [05] mist flower corolla

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sypnosis. [ 1.6k words. angst + fluff at the end. ] — a confrontation, a consultation, and a confession.

usagi's note: hi! so the last few weeks have been sooo long, i took my college exams then had to attend multiple classes and events, it's been tiring, but hey here's an update ^^

His words are forgotten the moment you see him fall on his knees.

Despite Paimon’s protests, you skid down the hill as fast as you can. From the distance, you can see that the traveller doesn't know what to do, she sets Xiao down on a boulder and leaves to finish the job.

When you reach him, his eyes are bloodshot, he's having trouble breathing, and there's black gel-like substances streaking from his mouth.

“Xiansheng, are you alright?”

Weakly, he turns to you, then calls the traveller's name.

“Lumine,”

She turns to him as she finishes the last of the hillichurls.

“Get her away from me.”

A series of “what”s resounded, a surprised one from the traveller and her companion, and a hurt one from you.

“... Can't… handle it, her… body, call for … -ngli…” he heaves.

“What? Xiansheng- no!” you yell in confusion as she seemed to understand whatever it was he said and grabbed a hold of your arm to get you somewhere safe.

“It's his karmic debt,” she explains, “It's not safe for humans-”

“I know what karmic debt is,” you try to get out of her hold, “I'm not human!”

You successfully pry her hands off of you and run back to Xiao, his breathing has diminished even more.

“Get… -way… me,” he says weakly and you can't focus on how you feel that sinking feeling in your stomach again, not right now.

Please, please, let this work, you pray as you take a hold of Xiao’s body and close your eyes. The traveller had tried to yank you back but stopped in awe.

A bright light emitted from you and the wind began to swirl. She couldn't pry your hold off of Xiao even if she tried, it was like your hold had welded with him.

If anything, she was more in awe as she watched the light from you travel through Xiao's body, making it seem like it was travelling under both your skins, through your veins, from you to him.

Xiao squinted at the brightness but the traveller could see the color in his face come back.

When your light faded, you collapsed onto Xiao who had caught you. It was as if nothing had happened to him, he could breathe properly now and he didn't feel like throwing up.

He calls your name and shakes you.

Once.

Twice.

You weren't responding.

Xiao pulls you away from him and you still aren't responding. In a panic, he calls for Rex Lapis, an emergency summons.

The Archon reveals himself in no less than three seconds. The moment he lays eyes on you unconscious in the Yaksha’s arms, he takes you from him.

Xiao doesn’t know what to say and he just looks at his God with a helpless and shocked look as he stares back with… disappointment…

He swallows.

“Come, Alatus, we have much to talk about,”

…

Shame is the only thing Xiao feels as he enters Rex Lapis’ teapot. He looks at your unconscious body in his God’s arms and he feels shame.

He doesn't know what happened, he tried to protect you from his karmic debt, but he really doesn't know what happened.

Morax lays your body to rest beside him as he rests your head on his lap.

“Take a seat, Alatus,”

He takes a seat facing his God, “Is she… going to be alright?” he asks, tentatively.

Morax nods, “Her body just couldn’t handle the process of healing you, it’s… new to her you see,”

He nods slowly, eyes still on you.

“Did you know she was made specifically for you?”

“My lord?”

He sighs, “She was created for you, her purpose is to alleviate your pain,” he looks at him and a beat passes in silence, “Your karmic debt.”

“I hadn’t meant to keep it from you…”

“No, I understand,” he tells him, “But you mustn’t underestimate me, either,”

“I apologize, Morax,”

“No need for that, just take care of those I give you,” he says and pets your head.

“She was made for you,” he repeats, “But her support does not come easily,”

Xiao tilts his head and he continues.

“Even an Archon has limits,” he admits, “there must be balance to the universe,”

“A give and take,” Xiao fills in.

Morax smiles sadly as he looks down at your unconscious form, “I made her in the likeness of Guizhong, she provided me a reprieve from the expectations on my shoulders during the war,”

“A solace, if you will,” the hand over your head then glows bright yellow and orange, a manifestation of the Archon's powers, “But that solace did not come easy, Guizhong had me earn her trust,”

The light fades out and the color comes back to your face, yet you still lie unconscious.

“She only needs rest, worry not,” his Lord assures him.

“My point, Alatus, is that you have to prove to her that you are someone she can trust, too,”

“Why?”

“Because the war is over, Xiao, there is no need to be tense all the time, people can be trusted once more, and she will not fall like the others,” Morax tells him in such a tender voice, as if he, too, remembers his own time at war.

“You can rest easier at night, warrior of mine, the war is over.”

The war is over.

…

You don't wake for a day.

The moment you do, you find yourself in your room in Wangshu Inn and Morax-shen is the first one that greets you.

“How are you feeling, little adeptus?” he asks as he sets tea in front of you. It was an ironic sight. The healer being taken care of.

“I am fine, Morax-shen,” you say and thank him as you drink from the cup.

“Where is Xiansheng?”

He hums, “Alatus is on a mission right now, you mustn't worry about him,”

“But the contract…?”

“I've made a few adjustments to it, do not worry about him,” he says, whatever those adjustments were, he does not explain.

He drinks from his own cup, “How is your progress with Alatus?”

You purse your lips and think, “Well, xiansheng has been… less receptive to my care, but he's allowed me to treat minor wounds, scratches and the like,”

“I see… and earlier?”

Ah, he was referring to that.

“The first time I've tried,”

The corner of his lips turn, “I am proud of you for taking initiative,” a hand meets your head and ruffles your hair, you smile in pride.

Xiansheng never does that.

“Why not?”

Oh- I said that out loud.

“Um well… xiansheng tends to keep a distance from me,” you confess, your hands curling up the blankets, “At times, it seems that he takes care of me more than I do him, he treats me like I'm… human. I feel useless, like I'm not helping him enough,” you sigh.

“It's normal to feel that way, do not fret,”

Zhongli puts his own cup down.

“Xiao has been… devoid of human contact for a long while, especially after the Cataclysm, he has become somewhat of a recluse,”

“This has changed slightly with the arrival of the traveller,”

“Lumine…”

“Yes, Lumine, she has helped Xiao with his duties in protecting Liyue a while back, she has also helped Xiao in personal matters,”

“Seems they're closer than I thought,”

Zhongli takes note of your reaction to the information and sips on his tea.

“They are, the traveller has helped Xiao become more receptive to human contact,”

“I see…”

“Ah, that aside,” Zhongli says, taking the hint to change the subject when he notices your increasing disinterest and how you look like you're thinking deeper.

“I'll explain the observed effects of your abilities from Baizhu,”

…

It was past midnight when you heard the familiar thump from outside your window.

Still, with all the recent events and the information you've learned from Zhongli, you keep your eyes closed.

You feel, rather than hear, Xiao walk towards you, his hand coming up to your forehead, probably to check if your fever has still kept you.

(According to Zhongli-shen, your fever has been alarmingly concerning when he first held you, it was as if you had a passionate flair while having a pyro vision.

“Had I not encased you in crystal, you might've combusted from the heat you were emanating,” he says.

You then notice the wilted mist flower corollas surrounding the room. All exhausted from their coolness.

“Thankfully, Baizhu-yisheng had been quick enough to send their supplies and provide the appropriate aid,”)

Still, you kept your eyes closed, afraid to face him.

Afraid of what exactly? you ask yourself.

“I am glad you are having a dreamless sleep,” he murmurs in the quiet of the night.

When his hand leaves your head, your eyes open, just enough to catch him sneaking out the window.

“Xiansheng…”

His head turns.

He steps down from the window and walks toward you. Wordlessly, your hand raises and his lower down to meet yours.

His eyes don't leave yours until your thumb circles his knuckles, his eyes look down to your intertwined hands, then back up to you.

His other hand rests on top of your head then slides down to cup the side of your face.

Your eyes are locked on him.

It was so soft you had no idea it happened.

Your eyes fluttered close and you squeezed his hand.

Xiao leaned lower, pressing his lips a bit deeper.

As he pulls away, his forehead rests on yours, your eyes still closed as you sigh against him.

He pulls back a bit and watches your eyes flutter open and meet his immediately.

“Xiansheng…?”

He's quick to pull you into him, his head resting in yours as you slot perfectly into the slope of his neck.

“Don't go where I can't follow,” he murmurs with more emotion than you've ever heard from him, “Don't leave me again,”

You can only nod against his skin, his hand resting on the back of your head to keep you close.

…

Again…?

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usagi's note: hey! so i added a note at the start and one at the end, im experimenting with my layouts once again! so yeah! also agalaea has been so pretty im def gonna pull for her and for furina cons ^^

taglist (open! green can't be tagged): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss @femaholicc

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [08] tears of luhua pool

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sypnosis. [ 1.9k words. angst. ] — history repeats itself.

usagi's note: y'all r gonna hate me for this chapter... but hey this is the longest update yet ^^ um yeah okay bye enjoy hopefully!

The Conqueror of Demons was known as a calm-headed warrior who prioritized efficiency over bloodthirst when he battles.

The same cannot be said right now.

Just a few seconds before, Xiao had come across travelling merchants being attacked by infected mitachurls and hillichurls.

Just as he called upon his mask and weapon, the wind carries your voice to him.

His body forms goosebumps all over as he can feel the cold settle over his body.

“Xiao, please help- shit!”

It was like everything was happening all over- no, he can't, he won't let it happen all over again.

Xiao releases a wave of deadly miasma as he lunges his polearm towards the beasts.

“Stay alive,” he says, “I'll get there even if it kills me,”

…

Shit.

Not only was there a pyro whopperflower, there was an electro whopperflower as well.

Fuck.

The two of them do some sort of coordinated attacks and the thing they spout out exploded right in front of your face (overload reaction).

You quickly ducked, but the fumes made you trip down into the ground.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you say as you panic and get up, running as fast as your legs could carry you. Between trees and bushes, you ran, but the two were still following you.

“Xiao!” you screamed again.

Did something happen to him? Why is he not here yet? Did he get hurt?

You looked back to check if the whopperflowers were still following you, only to knock into something.

“Hyaah!”

Hillichurls.

In all your panic and thinking, you had run straight into a hillichurl camp. The mitachurl standing up and grabbing its sheild as it gets ready to attack.

“Fuck.”

You duck behind a crate as the mitachurl narrowly misses you by a thread.

“Xiao, please be okay,” you whisper.

…

Oh, he heard that alright.

The tone of your voice was something he didn't like. It sounded so worried and like it was losing hope.

He didn't like that.

The Jade Bi he enchanted over you gives the feel of a fracture and he panics.

He was coming to get you, he'll pry you from the hands of death himself.

The conqueror of demons stabs the last of the malevolent creatures and ushers the civilians to safety.

He'll be there, just stay alive.

…

In the last few minutes, you've managed to climb up a short boulder, enough not to get smashed to death my the fucking huge ass mitachurl with the shield and escape the hillichurls with the fiery batons, but not enough to escape the archers.

You've gotten shot at in the shoulder.

Which would've been easy to heal if only you had the strength to pull it out. If you heal it with the arrow still lodged in you, the arrow would stay in you.

In all that time, you didn't notice the hillichurl who had gone around to get you.

The only warning you got was the shadow you saw from above your shadow on the rock.

The moment you turned around, you froze.

“Xiao, please… I'm sorry…”

…

…

...

“Lament!”

…

The conqueror of demons heard your voice and warped to you immediately.

He was a second too late as he saw the hillichurl’s bat swing at you. Your body falling to the ground a second later.

The Jade Bi cracks even louder.

He sees red and unleashes another deadly wave of miasma as he quickly made do of the creatures that hurt you.

How dare they?

How dare they hurt you?

He swears to kill and tear them all to shreds.

…

Your mind was spinning, everything was spinning. You feel something running down the side of your head- wet? You didn't know.

You get to your knees and see Xiao warping from place to place as he killed off the creatures.

At some point, he stopped at the mitachurl to continuously slash at it.

This has got to stop.

You stood up on wobbly legs and neared him, his back turned to you, still maiming the carcass of the mitachurl.

You grab onto his forearm and he turns too quickly, too defensive-

His spear goes through your abdomen.

You gasp and freeze, your hold on his forearm tightening.

Xiao looked different, black had consumed his irises, the black looking the same as the goop he had thrown up back then.

A watery version of it runs down his face.

He had been crying.

“Xiao…” you whisper.

He had his eyebrows knitted together in anger, you rarely saw that. You rarely see him get mad.

“...Hey,” you rasp, reaching for his hand on the spear, the yellow blood smearing on both your hands.

“It's me, you're okay, we're okay,” you say, cooing and easing him into a softer state.

You'll get him to pull out the arrow so you can heal yourself after you heal him.

Yes, exactly.

I just need to calm him down-

Xiao grunts and drives the spear deeper into you.

He's not himself- It's the miasma-

“Xiao, please,” you say shakily as you take shallow breaths. Your teeth chattering from focusing on not feeling pain.

With whatever strength you had left, you prayed to Morax that you could do it again and held onto his nape as you pushed your forehead to his.

You were bleeding faster than you anticipated so you focused into healing him faster. He'll probably call Morax once his sober self sees the state you're in.

The light once again travels from your veins to his, and slowly, the golden irises you love so much returns. His breathing becomes normal and his hold on the spear loosens.

He says your name as he focuses on your face.

Your head spins and the headache affects your sight now, your eyes fighting to flutter shut.

Instead you smile at him, “Hi, xiansheng,”

You wanted to lie down, a nap sounds really nice right now.

Your hold on Xiao's nape slides into the side of his face as his eyebrows knit together even closer. Your other hand rests on his hold on the spear as you rest your head on the crevice of his neck.

It's better if he doesn't see.

“What- I smell blood- What's happening? What happened?”

You hum and lean on him harder, forcing him to kneel with you, his other hand settling on your waist as support.

“Are you okay?” He asks worried.

You hum again, “Jus’... need t’ rest…”

“Qingxin, move back,”

You whine in protest.

“No… I'm tired, don’ wan’ move…” you rasp out.

“Qingxin, what am I- Why- My hand is wet and I'm holding onto my spear,” he states shakily.

You sigh and he pushes you back a bit as he manoeuvres you to be in a princess carry position.

You hide in his shoulder as you feel drops fall onto your skin.

Xiao stutters.

…

It's the whole fucking show all over again.

Except this time, it's his doing.

“No… no, no, no,” he repeats over and over. He knows he should've just dissolved his weapon, but doing so would make you bleed out faster and he doesn't know how to stop the bleeding-

“Please-” he chokes out, his vision of you blurring as his- stupid tears- get in the way, “Please tell me- tell me what to do-”

He can hear and feel the Jade Bi cracking even more.

“I- I can- I can help, please just tell me what to do- please-”

“‘S not your… fault,” he hears you rasp and it only makes him cry harder.

Your hand reaches up to cup the side of his face and he feels your thumb wipe his tears as he sobs.

“Y-you can't- not again- please, I can't lose you again,”

“Xiao…”

“Stop, please, just tell me what to do!”

“I love you…”

No.

No.

“No! Pleas- Please don't leave me again, I just got you back, I can't-”

He sobs so loud as he pulls you into him, still mindful of your injuries.

“Don't leave me…”

The Jade Bi shatters.

…

When Xiao feels a wet drop on his arm, he screams out Morax’s name.

…

The archon appears in less than a second.

The sight that meets his eyes makes his millenias old heart clench.

His warrior was on the ground, clutching your bleeding body speared with the weapon he recognises as his as he was crying hard.

“Morax, please, I'll serve all my life, I'll protect Liyue even after all it's citizens have perished, I will give my life for this land, just please-”

He sobs as he looks at your face and brushes your hair out of your face.

“Just don't let them take her away from me.”

His warrior begs him again, just like the first time he lost you.

On his knees, with your body in his arms, crying as if his own heart was ripped out.

“Alatus…”

Just like before.

“Even an Archon has his limits,” he says so sadly, you would mistake him as the one whose lover has died.

Once the soul has left, an Archon cannot venture into the realm of the dead. Celestia will punish those who rock the balance of life and death herself.

He would know.

He has tried after all.

…

Zhongli writes this in record as one of the most heart wrenching scene he has experienced. Second only to his own with Guizhong.

…

They hold a funeral for you in Luhua Pool.

In the wake of the night, Xiao carries your body over into the pool.

Ganyu, Zhongli, Madame Ping, Verr Goldet and her husband, as well as Baizhu stand as witness to the ritual.

Xiao lays you down in the lilypads as crystalflies surround the air.

Zhongli stands beside him, sloshing in the waist-deep water as he puts an arm on Xiao's shoulder.

He says a few words, but Xiao can't hear them. His only focus is on you.

On your face that looks as if it's just asleep.

As if you didn't go through any hardship before you died.

As if you didn't get stabbed and bled out to death.

Instead, you look just as the day he had met you again.

Pristine, woundless, and… beautiful.

Xiao does not know how to express his emotions.

It was his fault you died. Ha… he always does ruin the good things he has.

His head is full of ‘if only’s’ and ‘if i had’s’.

If only he didn't usher the civilians and left them alone after he killed the malevolents.

If only he found you faster.

If only he warped faster.

If only he didn't lose control.

If only he didn't let his karmic debt consume him.

If only he had called for Morax earlier.

If only he hadn't-

“Xiao?”

Morax stares at him concerned.

The ritual was over and Zhongli had transformed your body to be a part of Luhua Pool. A custom for the Adepti that have died, to be made a part of a domain in Liyue.

“I'm sorry,” he says as he wipes his warrior's tears.

“For what?” Xiao whispers, his tears still flowing slowly.

“I'll make this right,” Zhongli says instead.

Xiao doesn't understand. Maybe Morax has been overcome by grief, too. You were the first adeptus he's created in over a millennia after all.

You were his daughter in a way.

Xiao only nods and thanks him, hugging Ganyu, and thanking everyone else, before he warps away.

…

…

…

“Changsheng-xiaoren?”

“Yesssss..?”

“Are you available for the Golden House in a week?”

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usagi's note: see u wednesday guys i dont have class so ill update hehehehe. anw shout at me at the comments or reblogs! last update tomorrow omg 😔

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[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [06] who i am, who am i?

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sypnosis. [ 1.3k words. no warnings. ] — as the dream gets more vivid, so does your will to discover who you truly are to Xiao.

usagi's note: i didn't attend my class today, so here i edited this early just because hehe, also wdyt aby my new theme (ily clorinde)

You dream of him once again.

Xiao.

And you know it really is him because you hear what he says this time. He talks to you the same way he did when he told you not to leave him again.

It's unfamiliar to you, the tone he speaks in, you don't know it's name, you don't know what to make of it, but you can feel it in the dreams.

And this time, when you wake, you remember bits and pieces of the dream. Some still slip from the net of your mind, but you remember those that linger.

This time it was in a field.

(Xiao was walking beside you, it felt like you were watching a show. You couldn't hear what he was talking about, but the place you're in was familiar.

And you know you've seen this while on patrol with him.

You can see his mouth moving but you can't hear what he's saying.

When he turns to look at you and smiles…

You wake.)

It leaves you more frustrated, being so close to finding out who Xiao really is to you- or rather who you are to him, but the dream remnants keep slipping and you're forced to leave the dream memories.

You have to find answers.

…

Verr sees you at dawn, fully dressed and carrying a satchel of your books and papers.

“Oh, where are you going, sweetheart?”

You halt in place, “The harbor, Miss Verr, I’m going to meet Baizhu-yisheng,”

Her eyebrow raises, “This early?”

“It's an emergency,”

“Wouldn't it be faster with your Adeptus?” she asks, but before she could finish with her question, you were already out of the room.

“Bye, Miss Verr!”

…

See, lying to the woman who took care of you constantly when Xiao wasn't around did make you feel very guilty. But you weren't exactly sure if Xiao would allow you to talk to Ganyu alone.

The past few weeks he has been more present, he eats with you now, asks how your lessons with Baizhu have gone, he keeps you closer during patrols.

After that… kiss (as you've learned from Baizhu, who was very surprised to have learned that Xiao was the one who initiated), he has been somewhat closer to you. More allowing of touch and help.

But he still does not talk much and the dreams get more and more vivid as the time passes.

At the bridge of the harbor, you felt the restrictions Morax had told you about, it was a miracle you even made it this far.

You could see the gold threads in your veins pulsing with light under your sleeves as you fought to walk all the way to Ganyu’s workplace.

Your body and mind keeps telling you you should turn back, return to Xiao, be by his side. But you know you have to get answers.

The dreams are dreams, and as you've told Morax, it has to mean something.

The man of course did not answer your inquiries, only telling you that he'll tell you in due time, sometime soon, he says.

The moment you make it, Madame Ping is there. She urges you to sit as she sees your barely conscious form, as she retrieves Ganyu for you.

The headache feels like you're about to split your head.

…

Ganyu is more than happy to tell you what she knows, but it also leaves you at a dead end.

“We were in different encampments during the war,” she explains, “I stayed with Madam Guizhong, while he stayed with Rex Lapis,”

She puts a finger to her chin as she thinks, “Though I did hear from Indarias that he had a human with him most of time, he became um… what's the term, a bodyguard! Yes, he became a bodyguard for them,”

“Did… did you know anything else about them?”

Ganyu shakes her head, “No, sadly, after that news, the Great War descended rapidly, and I lost contact with Xiao and the other Adepti for a while,”

“The next time we met was when Rex Lapis was hailed as the Geo Archon and we were rebuilding Liyue,”

You stared down at the cup of tea at defeat. The headache was even worse and Ganyu noticed it.

“Hey, are you sure you don't want to take this back to Wangshu Inn?” she asks.

“No, he'll know I'm here if we return,”

“Can't he sense you?”

You shake your head, “No, I learned how to conceal adeptal energy from Morax-shen,”

Her face goes into surprise, “That's… very impressive, wow, not even a millenia old and you've already mastered it?”

She smiles at you, “You're learning well,”

“Thank you,” you smile, then sigh, “I still haven't found out who that human was to him…”

It's Madame Ping that speaks now, “The human was a healer,” she began.

She pours another cup of tea for her and Ganyu as she continues, “The reason he was assigned to them was because healers were the first to be killed off.”

“In a war, it makes sense to do such a thing to ensure brute force and violence would hail victory,”

She places the teapot down, “The Conqueror of Demons fell in love with that human.”

Ganyu shows surprise as everything clicks for you. But it doesn't make sense, if they fell in love with that human, why am I having dreams about their time together?

“She died during the war,” Madame Ping tells you gravely.

“Oh.”

“How cruel,” Ganyu whispers.

A new voice joins the discussion, “After the war, he was assigned to Wangshu Inn as his base of operations,”

“Morax-shen!”

He smiles, “I wasn't informed there was a tea party,” he says as he takes a seat.

You say nothing as you watch him sip on the cup.

“Will you tell me now?”

His eyes flit to you, “I suppose it is time,”

…

He feels the pull of the life bond the moment you're out of the radius.

Why? he keeps asking his mind, Why would you leave? Where would you go? Did you leave on your own or were you taken? Why would you leave him again?

He can't find you, he can't sense you, and he's going insane. Xiao warps to the highest point of Wangshu Inn and desperately tries to find you.

He can feel your anguish, the pulsing of your veins, but he can't sense where you are.

Just come back. Please, just come back.

He can hear his heart thrumming in his chest, his throat tightens, and he- he realises this is exactly how he felt when he couldn't find you.

When he couldn't save you.

“Xiao…” the wind carries your voice to him.

Just like last time.

“...Find me where we last departed…”

What?

…

Morax has told you the truth.

What exactly is wrong with Xiao, but that he has no idea how to treat it, only to temper the symptoms.

Who exactly you are to Xiao, how you were that human from half a century ago, how you died during a camp invasion as they were busy fighting off in the North.

How you were made specifically for Xiao. Not only so that you can heal him, but also because you were his lover.

It made sense. A god wanting his warrior a chance to rest. To live the life he was unable to when he wasin the war.

Rex Lapis was a merciful god.

He tells you where you died.

…

Xiao find you in the same river where you died in his arms.

He stares, not knowing what to do.

Was this punishment? Did he really piss his god off that he was given you and you were to be killed again in front off him? In the same place you were taken from him all those years ago?

Instead he hears you hum a song he has not heard of in a long time.

A song he taught to the past you.

Lover's Oath.

He takes one step forward and the water beneath his feet makes a splash.

You turn.

The breath in his lungs disappates.

“Xiao,” you smile, “I'm back,”

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usagi's note: im so happy i might finish editing the last three parts of this later or sometime over the weekend anyway pls tell me what u thought abt it, and as always take care!! o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o PLEASE NOTICE HOW I WROTE THAT U CALLED HIM XIAO INSTEAD OF XIANSHENG.

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[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [04] the traveller.

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sypnosis. [ 1.4k words. angst + ??? ] — the moment you make up your mind to talk to xiao, you can't, because a traveller appears.

It continues on for weeks, Xiao will make sure your basic needs are met, but will be distant outside of that, and you provide surface-level medical practice.

You were beginning to think that the problem with Xiao is more of a mental thing… One you were not sure how to help him with, seeing as he doesn't actually talk to you out of pleasantries and one-sided conversations.

(Other than that, you were still confused as to why he treats you so fragilely, as if you were mortal.)

You've done countless hours of research over what karmic debt is, there's no cure.

You've even met Xiao's previous healer (from which you learned from Verr), Baizhu, who has taken you as an apprentice of sorts as you learn how to construct better medicine and would teach you better methods of more effective medicine.

But it never did help Xiao.

(“Human medicine does not work on me,”) you remember him telling you once after you made him drink a new concoction.

The only upside of this that you've been experiencing is that you've learned how to help others, and that Baizhu has praised you for being such a fast learner.

“You would work better as an apothecary rather than a healer now,” he jokes.

Xiao seemed not to mind going to these lessons, though he was definitely indifferent. As per the contract, you must always be with him, and he must always be with you, to protect and to support, at all times, he never left your side for too long.

Most times, when you were having your lessons, you learned through Baizhu that he was with Ganyu.

“What do they do?”

“Well, they talk, mostly, Ganyu has mentioned to me that Xiao has been more communicative these days,”

“Oh… okay.”

Baizhu notices the tone in your response and puts the mortar and pestle down, “Is everything alright?”

You sigh, “Can I… Can I say something that might be out of line?”

Baizhu’s eyes dart to the window behind the two of you and goes to shut it and the door, “What is it?”

You lean against the table, “I don't know, I feel… useless? I'm not doing anything to Xiao-xiansheng, I learn how to make medicine and you tell me I'm good at it, but… it doesn't improve his condition,”

You see him form a line with his lips, “On top of that, he doesn't talk to me, whenever I approach him, there's this… wall, I feel.”

“He feels so distant and I don't know how to talk to him about it because he always tells me he's fine, and I'm here thinking that “If he's fine, then what am I here for? What use do I have for him if he really is fine?””

“I haven't even figured out how to heal him at all! The most I've done was heal minor wounds, which have been like pulling a tooth out of him, by the way, I had to convince him for a long hour to let me hover my hand over the wound on his stomach to heal it,”

Your mentor sighs, “Patients who do not want help, cannot be helped,”

You put your hands over your face.

“I don't know what to do, I feel so useless,”

Baizhu comforts you for the rest of night, “Have you talked to Zhongli about it? Morax?”

You shake your head, “Should I?”

“It would be best that you do.”

…

If Xiao notices that you are quieter than before when he comes to take you back to Wangshu Inn, he makes no notice of it.

…

You do not get an opportunity to talk to Morax the following day.

A traveller appears.

Lumine, you learned her name through Verr, had worked together with Xiao during a nation-level threat from a few months ago. She returned because she had to ask him for help with something.

She looked like the sun, you thought.

“Adeptus Xiao is not here, Lumine,” Verr supplies, “Just call him,” she says and gets back to arranging papers. You watch her curiously from the kitchen as she goes up to the balcony.

You follow but take a different route to your room and settle for watching her from the window.

“Xiao,” you hear her say and he appears.

“You called?”

Hm.

You close the window and open a book.

The sinking feeling in your stomach has spread to your lungs this time and you think you're the one who's sick. You write this down on a piece of paper and address it to Baizhu.

There aren't any classes today and you prefer not to leave Xiao's side, but you cannot get sick either, asking help from Baizhu on your condition is crucial.

You step out of the room and hear the two still talking. You take a look and see Xiao facing her, back to you, as he listens to the traveller explain her request.

You turn and head for Verr.

“Miss Verr, can you please send this for me? I need this to reach Dr. Baizhu of Bubu Pharmacy by this afternoon,” you tell her.

“Of course, sweetheart, hold on,”

…

Xiao listens to Lumine’s request with crossed arms, the moment he appeared, he hears you close your window.

He swears he's listening to her, but all that occupies his mind is him listening to your footsteps descend down the stairs.

“Xiao? Are you still with me?”

“I apologize, what was it?”

The traveller sighs, “I received a commission to cleanse a hoard of hillichurls, and I would like your assistance, they seem to be… different, they're just like the ones with Starsnatcher,”

“Fine, wait here, I need to retrieve someone,” he says and then disappears.

Xiao catches the end of your request for Verr.

“... reach Dr. Baizhu of Bubu Pharmacy by this afternoon,”

“Of course, sweetheart, hold on,”

“Why do you need to reach Baizhu urgently? Are you ill?” his tone takes a more concerned route.

You shake your head.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes,” you nod.

“Good, we'll be going with the traveller,” he tells you, “ she requires my assistance,”

You nod again, “Of course, xiansheng.”

…

Xiao insists that the four of you (you meet the traveller's companion, Paimon, a bit later) walk, because he doesn't want to risk you, or so he says.

Thankfully the traveller had no problem with walking and had actually proved to be a great conversationalist.

With her, you had talked more in the short time you walked than you had ever talked with Xiao in the past two months.

She had asked you about your favourite things and interests, including stories of her own when you found things you both favored. Paimon also offered you snacks.

It was a nice change of company.

The moment you reached the clearing, Xiao carried you over to a higher point of view, one where you can see him and he can see you, but you were out of harm's way.

“Stay here, do not surge into the field, no matter what,” he always says.

Then he leaves.

You're thankful that Paimon floated over to you moments later.

…

“Why'd you put her that far away? I can barely make Paimon out from down here,” Lumine squints as she tried to spot you from atop.

“She is weak, she will be a liability in battle,” he says.

Lumine winces, “Archons, isn't that a bit harsh? You don't mince your words at all, do you?”

“It's the truth,”

She walks towards the field where a camp has set, “I thought you'd be kinder since you're dating her,” she says, summoning her sword.

“I'm what?”

Lumine stops walking and faces him, the look of horror on his face paints the same look on hers.

“You're not?!?”

“No??”

“What in the actual- you know what, sure yeah, I'm not that surprised, let's talk later, Paimon wants Adeptus’ Temptation for dinner,”

The two approach the miasma infested creatures and began to slay them swiftly. The malevolent hillichurls do more damage than normal ones, but Xiao slices through them with his spear. Killing each and every last one he can see.

Just as they think it's over, a hillichurl appears from out of nowhere and throws a bomb-like concoction at Lumine, and Xiao shields her body with his.

They cough as the powder suffocates them and suddenly Xiao spits out a black jelly-like liquid from his mouth and falls to his knees.

“Xiao!”

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usagi's note: happy new year!! ☺️☺️☺️

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[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [03] i know you

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sypnosis. [ xiao x adeptus!reader. 1.5k words. angst. ]  — a patient who does not want treatment, cannot be treated.

You can feel it in your bones.

It's the constant buzzing behind your eyes, the chilling feeling on the back of your head, and the thrumming of your heart.

You know Xiao.

But you can't remember how exactly.

It's like a memory right in front of you hidden in a façade and just out of your reach.

On the times you do remember, the times when you wake up from a dream you know Xiao was in, it slips from the grasp of your mind just as quickly.

As you look at him now, washing blood off of his weapon in the river, you can't help but feel a sense of déja vu…

“If you have something to say, say it,” he says, eyes still focused on washing the blood out, “I can feel your eyes on me,”

You shake your head.

Not today, you think, I can't ask yet, I don't know how to approach him about this.

He leaves it alone, too.

He knows something, you know it.

It's in the way he told you mortals are fragile beings despite knowing he can sense the adepti blood running in your veins.

It's in the way he leaves you at places where you're in his view, but away from danger while on patrol.

It's in the way he makes sure you're fed and sleeping a normal amount all the time, constantly asking how you're feeling, how you are.

But being cold and distant, still… He doesn't tell you what you're supposed to help him with, he doesn't tell you what hurts, where his wounds are.

Instead, he braves it and always tells you he's fine, nothing hurts, it's just a scratch, and all the like.

How are you supposed to help someone who doesn't seem interested in helping himself?

He was a paradox to you.

…

You were a paradox to him.

He doesn't understand how to… how to deal with you. You seem to be the same, hardworking and persistent.

You come with him to patrol and he keeps you safe but you don't say anything.

This… version… of you is… quiet.

There was no more nagging at him to clean his wounds, to take care of himself better, to dodge the attacks instead of using his body to parry the blows.

You only watch and observe now.

You place cups of tea, medicine, and meals in front of him without so much as a word.

He doesn't know what to do.

Baizhu wasn't like this, he advises Xiao on what to do, tells him how to do it.

Baizhu talks, you don't.

And it concerns him because he knows how you were, you were- you were his lover.

It confuses him to see you alive but not the same. To have the same features from over half a thousand years ago, to hear your voice once more, but not to have… you.

He knows you're different now.

That it's a different you.

You're not the same one he fell in love with, the same one who patched all his wounds (even though you know he regenerates himself), the one he knew a long, long time ago.

But it does not stop him from hoping you would somehow remember.

It still confuses him how he was given you, he does not know why Morax decided to give him a healer in the likeness of his past lover.

As a punishment or a reward, he will never know.

Weapons do not question their wielders.

Servants do not question their masters.

Demons do not question their gods.

…

“How have you been faring with Adeptus Xiao, little healer?” Verr asks you one afternoon as Xiao leaves for a meeting with Ganyu.

The two of you had figured out that the contract only works if Xiao fights, any other situation is alright for the two of you to be separated, but it still shouldn't be for longer than a day, not that he's tried to leave your side for more than half of it anyway.

(“I'll be fine, I just need to talk to her about something, I'll be quick and I will be sure to get you before I go on patrol,” he tells you and waits for a response.

You nod.

A beat, another, and then he's gone.

You think he was waiting for you to say something else.)

“Xiansheng is fine, he treats me well, makes sure I am well-fed,” you tell her, “Not sure if he's the patient or am I,” you joke.

Verr laughs, “You got that right, I've never seen him so… attentive!”

You ponder at that.

“Say, Ms. Verr… what exactly do you know about Xiansheng?”

The woman puts a hand on her chin, then proceeds to tell you all she knows. There you find out that Wangshu Inn houses him and it's not a base, Xiao is a natural recluse, prefers to stay away from humans-

“Why?”

“Oh, it's his karmic debt, it affects humans,”

“It affects humans…” you repeat absentmindedly as Verr continues to tell you information about him.

“Ms. Verr, you don't happen to have any books about karmic debt, do you?”

“I think we do, actually, I'll get my husband to find them later and give them to you,”

“I am eternally grateful,” you tell her.

If he won't tell you what's wrong with him, you won't be able to help him, you'll find out yourself.

…

Xiao lands at Yuehai Pavillion and finds Ganyu already waiting for him with a pot of tea.

They don't say much, they sit in silence as she pours them both a cup of tea and he just stares at the table.

“So, how's the girl?”

“I have no idea how to feel about the whole situation.”

“In what way?”

Xiao sighs, “Ganyu, I love her- I mean the past her, not who she is now… I'm not even sure if she's the same person, I don't know if Morax brought her back to life or if he made an adeptus in the likeness of her.”

“I don't even know if the reason he gave me a healer is because he knows about the karmic debt and is giving me a reprieve, or if this is punishment.”

Ganyu pats his shoulder and pushes the cup of tea towards him but he shakes his head.

She sighs, “Have you tried asking her? Maybe she knows more than she lets on,”

The other adepti shakes his head, “I don't even know how to not look at her and not feel my heart clenching, I know it's not her anymore, Ganyu,”

“And I can't even ask her if she remembers, so I try in a different way, I try to make sure she sleeps well, that- that's she's never hungry- like before- I-”

He sobs.

Ganyu snaps her head in shock. In five hundred years, Xiao has never weeped. Not even because of the pain from his karmic debt.

Xiao has always braved the pain and put on a front in front of everyone. Weakness is not a word in his dictionary and neither is vulnerability.

“But I can't,” he heaves, “Every time I look at her, my throat locks up and I want to cry and tell her so much, tell her I'm sorry- that- that I didn't make it in- in time,”

Ganyu doesn't know what to say, she's in shock that Xiao is even crying in front of him, and she's in deeper shock that he's actually communicating his feelings.

“I loved her, but I know that isn't her anymore, and there's so much going in here,” he clutches his chest, just right above his heart, “That I haven't the slightest idea what to do,”

Ganyu gathers him up in her arms as he sobs on her shoulder, and she thinks- no, she knows, that you are exactly what Xiao needs for his karmic debt.

Call it a sixth sense, but first…

Who exactly were you to him?

…

Xiao returns in late afternoon, he finds you asleep on the desk with books scattered around, brush in hand as your ink was left open, the writing on the paper trailing off.

He still doesn't know how to feel or what to do as his chest constricts.

Xiao reaches out to your shoulder to wake you, but decides against it, instead he lifts you towards the bed, sits beside you, and tucks you in.

“You said you'd be quick,” you rasp, blinking the sleepiness away, but failing.

“Our… conversation ran longer than I intended,” he murmurs, pulling the sheets over your shoulders.

It's then when you notice his eyes rimmed with red.

“Are you… alright, xiansheng?”

It takes him a while to answer.

“I'm fine,” he stands, “Get more sleep,”

Xiao exits through the window, he'll be on the balcony and will get you when it's time for patrol, you know this, but you can't help the sinking feeling in your stomach.

Who exactly was he to you?

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usagi's note: GIRL I AM LOVING THE WAY I WRITE RN. it seems so cohesive these days and im so happy abt it. anyway i was playing earlier, and i was so shocked to have a world quest in hadramaveth desert. like i thought i finished everything since natlan is the only nation i dont have 100%'d and IT WAS ABOUT JEHT. ILY JEHT. UEUEUEUEUEUEU 😭😭😭😭😭. i love her sm. it was her last quest so im like rlly bittersweet abt it since i wont ever get to see her again (pls make a quest hoyo pls)

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[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [07] fan the flames of the fire

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sypnosis. [ 1.4k words. slightly suggestive two sentences? ] — blah, blah, blah, proper name, place name, backstory stuff, um, what else?

usagi's note: hi 😊 i feel like you guys deserve to have a update because im in a good mood and also because i painted today, i really like painting.

“Where are we going?” you ask as your eyes were covered by your lover.

“We're almost there, don't worry,” he murmurs as he guides you to step over what seems like an uphill path.

You feel the winds whip at your body, you could hear the birds chirping and echoing from however high you were right now.

“Open your eyes,”

When you do, you could only see the tops of the mountains from the fog covering them, the sunset almost makes it look walkable with how the sun's rays filter through the clouds.

“It's beautiful,” you whisper.

“Yeah, it is,”

You look back at Xiao as he puts a flower in your hair.

“It really is,” he repeats.

Your face burns at his words and you look away, “How'd you find this place anyway?”

“Found it while Bona and I took down that one god that had wings,” he says as he picks up another flower, “Was really hard to kill, but we pulled it off, found this place as we headed back to base,”

He twirled the flower in his hand.

“It's called qingxin,” he murmurs, “A flower that grows in hard to reach places, but can be used for medicinal purposes,” he looks up, meeting your eyes.

“Just like you.”

…

Xiao's anger for you leaving (but really, it's just him worrying, anger is often a blanket for emotions one does not want to face after all) disappates the moment he hears you say that.

“Y-you’re- you remember?” he asks as he steps closer to you.

You shrug, twirling a horsetail in your hand, “I don't remember everything…?” you look up at him, “But I remember enough,”

Xiao was still in awe, there were so many things he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to tell you.

Instead, he settles for sitting down next to you and holding your hand gently.

You smile at him a little, intertwining your fingers with his.

“I'm glad,” he finally says, “Welcome home, qingxin,”

The two of you enjoy the sound of the running water, the cool breeze, and the rays of the sun on your skin, until Xiao speaks up.

“Can- can you not do that again?”

“Hm? Do what?”

“Leave without saying anything,”

“Oh,” you felt really guilty when he said that, “Sorry, I didn't think you'd let me go to the Harbor alone or find out who I am to you,”

In hindsight, it would've been better to leave a message with Verr, but you think she would've called Xiao in that moment.

He sighs, “I have no care for what you do in the Harbor, so long as I know where you are or who you're with,”

“Okay,”

It was… awkward.

“Was this why you didn't get close to me before?”

“Yes,” he says, “I didn't… know if you were the same as the past you or if you were someone new entirely.”

“Oh,”

“I… I know now you're not the same, you're not my past,” he takes a breath, “But rather my future,”

You laugh a bit, “I think we're moving a little fast, xiansheng,”

He flushes green, ah, you missed that.

Xiao stutters which makes you laugh harder, “Don't worry, I’ll be happy to choose you as my future, too, Xiao,”

He closes his eyes and presses his forehead to yours, “I missed you, welcome home,”

…

From a distance, an Archon of old smiles as he witnesses the sight of two lovers reuniting.

“So Morax, how's being Cupid going for you?”

“Barbatos, I have told you not to drop in unannounced, yes?”

“But the wind told me you were up to something!”

He sighs in resignation.

…

In the following months, Xiao has been closer to you, he's more talkative, too. He usually tells you stuff he's seen while on patrol as you wait on the balcony of the inn.

Recently, he's acted more and more like a bird, he's taken to bringing you shiny trinkets, gems of cor lapis, crystalfly cores, jewelry he knows you like, and the most recent one, a jade bi tethered to him.

(“It's so I know you're safe, even if we're not together, just in case,” he tells you as he enchants the jade to your being and sews it to his sleeve after.)

He's taken you closer during fights, too. Morax-shen says it's because he's learning to trust you.

Baizhu is still surprised at the development when you tell him about it after your lessons, speaking of which, you've recently been hired at Bubu Pharmacy as an Apothecary.

A position you've been granted after you've surpassed Baizhu, courtesy of Changsheng-xiaoren who was the one to suggest a position and the one to recognise your abilities.

Everyday, Xiao is there to pick you up and take you home, staying in the city or up in the cliffs as he waits. He still doesn't like being away from you.

…

Zhongli-shen asks you about the situation wth the traveller a while later as the two of you are having tea in the harbor.

“Oh, that, yeah we talked about it,” you say and tell him the details.

(“Lumine isn't like that to me, she is only someone I owe, she helped me in my duty to protect Liyue, Zhongli also considers her to be a dear friend, so I must honour that sentiment, too,” Xiao tells you as he eats the Almond Tofu you've cooked for him.

“You have no need to worry, my heart and soul only belongs to you,” he says as he chews, “I have waited this long for you, do not think I will look to someone else for your affection,”

He says it so casually you think it wouldn't be a line in a best selling romance book.)

“Seems like your jealousy has been solved,” Zhongli says as he hides behind his tea, “Xiao has been enthusiastic, I see,” he teases, eyeing the marks under your collar.

“Zhongli-shen!” you squawk as you flick him playfully, half ashamed, “We haven't gone that far,” you murmur.

Which was true, partially, Xiao did get pretty heated during kisses, the farthest the two of you have gone was you sitting on his lap, but never farther than that.

“I am glad both if you have resolved it,” he says.

“Me, too…”

…

Thankfully, the frustrating dreams of not knowing had come to a stop, your memories didn't completely come back, but it was enough to know what had happened between the past you and Xiao.

You remember the important parts at least.

With those stopping, you had been sleeping well more, giving more of your energy to hone your healing abilities.

Recently, Xiao had gotten into a pretty big scuffle with the Fatui as they terrorized a merchant caravan.

You had to heal him a lot for the first time in a while, which led the both of you to discover that it takes out a lot of energy out of you.

(“It's only the balance of the universe, Xiao, a give and take of energies. I'll be okay, I just need to-” you yawn, “-get some rest…”

You see him frown and you smile a bit.

“So worried over me, xiansheng,” you tease and he flicks your forehead but sighs.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he says softly as he kisses your cheek.

You lean into him more.

“I love you, too, Xiao,”)

…

“Is it too tight?” Xiao asks as he ties the ribbon on your cheongsam.

You shake your head, “No, just right.”

“You've eaten?”

You turn around and cradle his face, “Yes, xiansheng, I have, please stop worrying, come on you still have patrol.”

Xiao sighs, “Fine, let's go.”

He pulls you into a princess carry and asks if you're ready before he warps to the top of a cliff, close enough that he can see you, but far enough away from trouble.

He opens his mouth but you speak first.

“I'll stay here, I'll be good, I'll get out in case of trouble,” you say, just as he recites every patrol.

You stifle a laugh as he just stares at you, “Fine, I love you,” he says and warps away.

“Hey!”

…

It takes some time for Xiao to return, in half an hour, you couldn't see him anymore, you figured he might've been chasing monsters so you turn to studying the herbs on the cliff instead.

With your notebook opened, you plucked a violetgrass from the side of the cliff, let's just not tell your lover that you had to lay down to not fall off.

You log where you are and what kind of plants were on the cliff. Mints, violetgrass, and sweet flowers were the ones present there.

“The sweet flowers would make good sugar for Almond Tofu,” you say and began to pluck those you see around the cliff.

You spot another patch in clumps, but the moment you had a hard time pulling the second one, you knew exactly what you pulled. Fuck.

“Xiao!”

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usagi's note: in case it wasn't clear, the italicized texts are flashbacks or memories. anyway, i will post the next chapter later? or tomorrow? idk u guys tell me pls in the comments or send an ask. ENJOY LANTERN RITE BYE!!

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[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [02] qingxin incense

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sypnosis. [ xiao x adeptus!reader. 1.6k words. angst. ]  — It's a punishment, it has to be. He had definitely done something wrong to piss off his god.

Rex Lapis was not indifferent.

He knew of his only remaining Yaksha’s pain, the karmic debt he hides from him, or tries to, really. Nothing can escape Rex Lapis’ watch, no, not even as he resigns and leaves Liyue in the capable hands of the Qixing and the Millelith.

And so, one afternoon, Bubu Pharmacy receives a summons from the Geo Archon himself, asking them to come to the Golden House for a formal meeting.

Changsheng tells Baizhu to close up for the day and sends for Yanfei to pick Qiqi up.

The two make the trek toward the abandoned building, left to stand in memory instead after the supposed passing of Rex Lapis.

Baizhu steps over the offerings left at the door of the now altar, the flowers, both wilted and fresh, the letters, candles, all of it, for the beloved Geo Archon.

He tries to quell his nerves at being called by a high figure of authority.

Rex Lapis is… not what he expected.

Zhongli shows up instead.

“Ah, Changsheng, Baizhu,” he greets, “come,”

The tall man walks to the middle of the floor where an insanely large gold ceramic bowl, almost like a bathtub, sits. Thousands of red incense sticks were lit around it, the aroma wafting through the air, it smelled heavily of qingxin flowers and ginseng, Baizhu notes.

Changsheng gasps as they near the middle.

“Rex Lapis-shén! Is that what I think it is?”

Zhongli nods.

“Astute as ever, Changsheng-xiaoren,” he says as he holds his hand over the bowl which now seems to be filling up with… white wine…?

“It is wine,” the man nods, seeming to read his mind, “Would you allow me to borrow Changsheng for a moment, Baizhu-yīshēng?”

He nods, “A-ah, yes,” he holds out his hand to Zhon- Rex Lapis. Changsheng slithers to his hand with no trouble.

The two have a conversation, Baizhu does not hear nor does he understand the tongue in which they speak in. Ancient Adeptus dialect, he supposes. He stays standing at the end of the incense table, watching, waiting.

Finally, Rex Lapis moves to rest Changsheng at the end of his arm and his familiar starts to chant.

The entire environment shifts, the Golden Palace’s lights dim for just a second and brighten even more, the wind picks up, even if there was no draft to begin with, and he finds it weird that the incense remains lit through it all.

Changsheng continues her chant and then he hears another voice join in, it’s deep, almost otherworldly, and Baizhu wonders if they’re summoning a God- no, it’s... Rex Lapis who speaks, he observes.

The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s Consultant starts to glow, his sleeve failing to conceal the light that his arms emit, and even the ends of his hair start to lighten, too.

So this is the power of an Archon, Baizhu thinks, and for a moment, he is afraid.

The winds start to swirl, outlined by the smoke of the incense as it forms something somewhat similar to the eye of a storm in the middle of the ceiling, objects start to rattle, and Baizhu fears, he fears for his life and he fears for Changsheng’s.

Then it stops.

It becomes dark, all that was floating dropped, all that were shaking, stilled, and the incense smoke rose up again.

Then, Rex Lapis speaks.

“Baizhu-yīshēng, cover your eyes,”

He does so, swiftly, no questions and he is thankful that he does.

Because even if he has shut his eyes, he could feel the brightness of the light that imploded and flooded the room, his eyelids not being enough to completely shield his irises, he raises his arm to cover his face.

From Liyue Harbor, everyone is in a state of panic, a bright golden beacon of light has emerged from the Golden House, and already, the Tianquan knows what is happening and has sent for the Millelith to protect the Golden House.

Baizhu can feel the winds whip at his face from behind his arms and the light become even brighter.

Then it stops.

Changsheng trails off of her chanting and the baritoned voice disappears as well. The archon turns to him as the lights of the Golden House return to it’s warm, usual lighting.

“Thank you for your assistance, Changsheng-xiaoren, you as well, Baizhu-yīshēng,” he smiles tiredly, and turns back to the bowl that-

“Is that a human?” he asks, horrified and amazed.

“An adeptus,” Zhongli corrects.

The man lifts up his… adeptus creation in his arms and carries her out of the bowl. The girl looks to be as old as a young woman, seemingly asleep, but you could feel her energy somehow.

Zhongli coats her in a silk blanket and again thanks Baizhu and Changsheng who tells him should he ever need her help again, he is most welcome to do so.

Baizhu is just in shock that he had witnessed how adepti were made.

“Oh, and Baizhu-yīshēng?” the archon calls out to him, his voice echoing throughout the hallway of the chamber, “Best to get out of here as soon as possible, the Qixing will be here shortly,”

The doctor had never wished he could teleport as fast as he can in that moment.

Xiao knows there’s something. He doesn’t know what that something is- he just knows there’s something different. It’s been like this for the past month and it itches at the back of his head to know there’s something, but he doesn’t know what it is.

It started with that large beacon of light from the Golden House, which the Tianquan and the Liyue Qixing have dismissed and “taken care of”.

No matter, he will serve as he is supposed to.

Xiao scouts the entirety of Bishui Plains and finds only a stray slime or two.

He decides to search in Minlin and only gets the faint impression of Cloud Retainer, he figures Mountain Shaper and Moon Carver have gone into the city to have tea with Madame Ping.

Finally, he circles back to Qiongji Estuary and starts with Luhua Pool where he sees-

“Morax,” he says and bows, and immediately retracts to be on guard.

“There is someone here,” Xiao starts and is shocked when his God places a hand on his shoulder.

“Stand down, Xiao,” he says, “There is someone I’d like you to meet,”

The anemo adeptus furrows his brows in confusion, why was his God telling him to be at ease? His job was to protect him, so why would he stop him from doing so?

Morax calls out to a someone and a figure steps out from behind the tree.

“Xiao, I’d like you to meet her,” he says as he introduces you to him.

You in your typical Liyuean-style clothes, dressed up as a healer. You look just as… just as the day he lost you.

“She will be a… support of sorts, for you,” he says, then turns to you.

The warrior feels as if his heart has stopped, he cannot breathe, and there are a million thoughts and questions racing through his mind, but Rex Lapis continues.

“This is Xiao, you will be accompanying him, okay?”

“You will do your best to remember what you trained for, and support him, yes?”

He sees you nod, “Yes, Morax-shen,” you say and his God smiles.

“Very well, Xiao, I trust that you will protect her, I trust that you will support him, are we in agreement?”

“Yes,” the two of you say at the same time.

“I have business to attend to now, send for me if you need assistance,” he says as he bids goodbye and walks out of sight.

Xiao turns to look at you as you look back at him.

He goes to Ganyu.

“I- I just cannot fathom why he would give me her…” he says as he looks at you preparing tea with Madame Ping.

Ganyu had arranged for a meeting and roped in the older adeptus to look after you, his new… companion.

“Maybe it's about the karmic debt…” she says as she puts a hand under her chin.

“I feel as though this is punishment…” he says solemnly, then turns to her abruptly, “Have I done anything wrong recently?”

Xiao starts to spiral, “Is it because I haven't been doing my job right? I must have missed a swarm of creatures- I-”

“Please calm yourself, xiansheng,”

You.

Xiao does not know how to respond at the sight of you.

You place a cup of tea in front of him and he takes it, eyes still on you.

Ganyu doesn't know whether she should laugh or be concerned.

You continue to accompany Xiao to Wangshu Inn. You tell him you'd be fine with teleporting but he shut the idea down. Going on about how mortals are fragile.

He talks with the woman at the front desk and gestures to you, then takes your hand and leads you to a room.

“This is where you'll stay,” he tells you once you're inside. The room is simple, a window that has a balcony, a bed, a bathroom, and a wardrobe.

Xiao places a talisman on the door and on the window, then sets a teapot on the desk near it.

You hear him sigh.

“This is how it'll be,” he says and stops right in front of you, “You will stay here, okay? I will return after patrol a-and- and we can… we can do mortal activities to keep you…” he trails off.

“I have to stay with you,”

“What?”

“It's part of my contract with Morax-shen,” you tell him and show him your arm. Quickly, Xiao presses the palm of his hand and smooths over your skin.

Golden threads run through your veins.

A life bond.

“Why…”

You place a hand over his, “It is my contract, my duty to you, I am to support you and you are to protect me. Our contract.”

He must have really done something to piss off his god.

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usagi's note: how the hell do i break my foot during exam week... ANYWAY IM FREE FROM UNI !! i wanna write another chapter but like it is legit 1am rn...

taglist (open!! send an ask/comment to be tagged!): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person

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[usagiarchive]

i have no classes tomorrow, might end up editing the final chapter of angel of the codeine scene tomorrow

[usagiarchive]

oh hey i finished writing this btw :3 tune in for the next 2 weeks to see what the hell i cooked up ^^

angel of the codeine scene — xiao x adeptus!reader

"I feel sick, and I know that I'll lose, but it's not living, if it's not you,"

sypnosis. [ angst + reincarnation ]  — Xiao has only fallen in love once, and that love was taken away from him by the war. Rex Lapis resolves to give his only remaining yaksha the epilogue he deserves.

— chapter index

01. the war 02. qingxin incense 03. i know you 04. the traveller. 05. mist flower corolla 06. who i am, who am i? 07. fan the flames of the fire 08. tears of luhua pool 09. over and over again

usagi's note: hey omg im learning how to format my posts, anyway I'll post this here first and then maybe on ao3 later in the day hehe.

taglist (open!! send an ask/comment to be tagged!): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[usagiarchive]

I LOVE U GUYS' COMMENTS SM THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL WHEN I WRITE AODKJDKSJWKSMSLLA

angel of the codeine scene — [06] who i am, who am i?

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sypnosis. [ 1.3k words. no warnings. ] — as the dream gets more vivid, so does your will to discover who you truly are to Xiao.

usagi's note: i didn't attend my class today, so here i edited this early just because hehe, also wdyt aby my new theme (ily clorinde)

You dream of him once again.

Xiao.

And you know it really is him because you hear what he says this time. He talks to you the same way he did when he told you not to leave him again.

It's unfamiliar to you, the tone he speaks in, you don't know it's name, you don't know what to make of it, but you can feel it in the dreams.

And this time, when you wake, you remember bits and pieces of the dream. Some still slip from the net of your mind, but you remember those that linger.

This time it was in a field.

(Xiao was walking beside you, it felt like you were watching a show. You couldn't hear what he was talking about, but the place you're in was familiar.

And you know you've seen this while on patrol with him.

You can see his mouth moving but you can't hear what he's saying.

When he turns to look at you and smiles…

You wake.)

It leaves you more frustrated, being so close to finding out who Xiao really is to you- or rather who you are to him, but the dream remnants keep slipping and you're forced to leave the dream memories.

You have to find answers.

…

Verr sees you at dawn, fully dressed and carrying a satchel of your books and papers.

“Oh, where are you going, sweetheart?”

You halt in place, “The harbor, Miss Verr, I’m going to meet Baizhu-yisheng,”

Her eyebrow raises, “This early?”

“It's an emergency,”

“Wouldn't it be faster with your Adeptus?” she asks, but before she could finish with her question, you were already out of the room.

“Bye, Miss Verr!”

…

See, lying to the woman who took care of you constantly when Xiao wasn't around did make you feel very guilty. But you weren't exactly sure if Xiao would allow you to talk to Ganyu alone.

The past few weeks he has been more present, he eats with you now, asks how your lessons with Baizhu have gone, he keeps you closer during patrols.

After that… kiss (as you've learned from Baizhu, who was very surprised to have learned that Xiao was the one who initiated), he has been somewhat closer to you. More allowing of touch and help.

But he still does not talk much and the dreams get more and more vivid as the time passes.

At the bridge of the harbor, you felt the restrictions Morax had told you about, it was a miracle you even made it this far.

You could see the gold threads in your veins pulsing with light under your sleeves as you fought to walk all the way to Ganyu’s workplace.

Your body and mind keeps telling you you should turn back, return to Xiao, be by his side. But you know you have to get answers.

The dreams are dreams, and as you've told Morax, it has to mean something.

The man of course did not answer your inquiries, only telling you that he'll tell you in due time, sometime soon, he says.

The moment you make it, Madame Ping is there. She urges you to sit as she sees your barely conscious form, as she retrieves Ganyu for you.

The headache feels like you're about to split your head.

…

Ganyu is more than happy to tell you what she knows, but it also leaves you at a dead end.

“We were in different encampments during the war,” she explains, “I stayed with Madam Guizhong, while he stayed with Rex Lapis,”

She puts a finger to her chin as she thinks, “Though I did hear from Indarias that he had a human with him most of time, he became um… what's the term, a bodyguard! Yes, he became a bodyguard for them,”

“Did… did you know anything else about them?”

Ganyu shakes her head, “No, sadly, after that news, the Great War descended rapidly, and I lost contact with Xiao and the other Adepti for a while,”

“The next time we met was when Rex Lapis was hailed as the Geo Archon and we were rebuilding Liyue,”

You stared down at the cup of tea at defeat. The headache was even worse and Ganyu noticed it.

“Hey, are you sure you don't want to take this back to Wangshu Inn?” she asks.

“No, he'll know I'm here if we return,”

“Can't he sense you?”

You shake your head, “No, I learned how to conceal adeptal energy from Morax-shen,”

Her face goes into surprise, “That's… very impressive, wow, not even a millenia old and you've already mastered it?”

She smiles at you, “You're learning well,”

“Thank you,” you smile, then sigh, “I still haven't found out who that human was to him…”

It's Madame Ping that speaks now, “The human was a healer,” she began.

She pours another cup of tea for her and Ganyu as she continues, “The reason he was assigned to them was because healers were the first to be killed off.”

“In a war, it makes sense to do such a thing to ensure brute force and violence would hail victory,”

She places the teapot down, “The Conqueror of Demons fell in love with that human.”

Ganyu shows surprise as everything clicks for you. But it doesn't make sense, if they fell in love with that human, why am I having dreams about their time together?

“She died during the war,” Madame Ping tells you gravely.

“Oh.”

“How cruel,” Ganyu whispers.

A new voice joins the discussion, “After the war, he was assigned to Wangshu Inn as his base of operations,”

“Morax-shen!”

He smiles, “I wasn't informed there was a tea party,” he says as he takes a seat.

You say nothing as you watch him sip on the cup.

“Will you tell me now?”

His eyes flit to you, “I suppose it is time,”

…

He feels the pull of the life bond the moment you're out of the radius.

Why? he keeps asking his mind, Why would you leave? Where would you go? Did you leave on your own or were you taken? Why would you leave him again?

He can't find you, he can't sense you, and he's going insane. Xiao warps to the highest point of Wangshu Inn and desperately tries to find you.

He can feel your anguish, the pulsing of your veins, but he can't sense where you are.

Just come back. Please, just come back.

He can hear his heart thrumming in his chest, his throat tightens, and he- he realises this is exactly how he felt when he couldn't find you.

When he couldn't save you.

“Xiao…” the wind carries your voice to him.

Just like last time.

“...Find me where we last departed…”

What?

…

Morax has told you the truth.

What exactly is wrong with Xiao, but that he has no idea how to treat it, only to temper the symptoms.

Who exactly you are to Xiao, how you were that human from half a century ago, how you died during a camp invasion as they were busy fighting off in the North.

How you were made specifically for Xiao. Not only so that you can heal him, but also because you were his lover.

It made sense. A god wanting his warrior a chance to rest. To live the life he was unable to when he wasin the war.

Rex Lapis was a merciful god.

He tells you where you died.

…

Xiao find you in the same river where you died in his arms.

He stares, not knowing what to do.

Was this punishment? Did he really piss his god off that he was given you and you were to be killed again in front off him? In the same place you were taken from him all those years ago?

Instead he hears you hum a song he has not heard of in a long time.

A song he taught to the past you.

Lover's Oath.

He takes one step forward and the water beneath his feet makes a splash.

You turn.

The breath in his lungs disappates.

“Xiao,” you smile, “I'm back,”

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usagi's note: im so happy i might finish editing the last three parts of this later or sometime over the weekend anyway pls tell me what u thought abt it, and as always take care!! o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o PLEASE NOTICE HOW I WROTE THAT U CALLED HIM XIAO INSTEAD OF XIANSHENG.

taglist (open! green can't be tagged): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss @femaholicc

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

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guys i love this user sm HEY I LOVE U !!! U WRITE THE BEST REACTION REBLOGS

angel of the codeine scene — [06] who i am, who am i?

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sypnosis. [ 1.3k words. no warnings. ] — as the dream gets more vivid, so does your will to discover who you truly are to Xiao.

usagi's note: i didn't attend my class today, so here i edited this early just because hehe, also wdyt aby my new theme (ily clorinde)

You dream of him once again.

Xiao.

And you know it really is him because you hear what he says this time. He talks to you the same way he did when he told you not to leave him again.

It's unfamiliar to you, the tone he speaks in, you don't know it's name, you don't know what to make of it, but you can feel it in the dreams.

And this time, when you wake, you remember bits and pieces of the dream. Some still slip from the net of your mind, but you remember those that linger.

This time it was in a field.

(Xiao was walking beside you, it felt like you were watching a show. You couldn't hear what he was talking about, but the place you're in was familiar.

And you know you've seen this while on patrol with him.

You can see his mouth moving but you can't hear what he's saying.

When he turns to look at you and smiles…

You wake.)

It leaves you more frustrated, being so close to finding out who Xiao really is to you- or rather who you are to him, but the dream remnants keep slipping and you're forced to leave the dream memories.

You have to find answers.

…

Verr sees you at dawn, fully dressed and carrying a satchel of your books and papers.

“Oh, where are you going, sweetheart?”

You halt in place, “The harbor, Miss Verr, I’m going to meet Baizhu-yisheng,”

Her eyebrow raises, “This early?”

“It's an emergency,”

“Wouldn't it be faster with your Adeptus?” she asks, but before she could finish with her question, you were already out of the room.

“Bye, Miss Verr!”

…

See, lying to the woman who took care of you constantly when Xiao wasn't around did make you feel very guilty. But you weren't exactly sure if Xiao would allow you to talk to Ganyu alone.

The past few weeks he has been more present, he eats with you now, asks how your lessons with Baizhu have gone, he keeps you closer during patrols.

After that… kiss (as you've learned from Baizhu, who was very surprised to have learned that Xiao was the one who initiated), he has been somewhat closer to you. More allowing of touch and help.

But he still does not talk much and the dreams get more and more vivid as the time passes.

At the bridge of the harbor, you felt the restrictions Morax had told you about, it was a miracle you even made it this far.

You could see the gold threads in your veins pulsing with light under your sleeves as you fought to walk all the way to Ganyu’s workplace.

Your body and mind keeps telling you you should turn back, return to Xiao, be by his side. But you know you have to get answers.

The dreams are dreams, and as you've told Morax, it has to mean something.

The man of course did not answer your inquiries, only telling you that he'll tell you in due time, sometime soon, he says.

The moment you make it, Madame Ping is there. She urges you to sit as she sees your barely conscious form, as she retrieves Ganyu for you.

The headache feels like you're about to split your head.

…

Ganyu is more than happy to tell you what she knows, but it also leaves you at a dead end.

“We were in different encampments during the war,” she explains, “I stayed with Madam Guizhong, while he stayed with Rex Lapis,”

She puts a finger to her chin as she thinks, “Though I did hear from Indarias that he had a human with him most of time, he became um… what's the term, a bodyguard! Yes, he became a bodyguard for them,”

“Did… did you know anything else about them?”

Ganyu shakes her head, “No, sadly, after that news, the Great War descended rapidly, and I lost contact with Xiao and the other Adepti for a while,”

“The next time we met was when Rex Lapis was hailed as the Geo Archon and we were rebuilding Liyue,”

You stared down at the cup of tea at defeat. The headache was even worse and Ganyu noticed it.

“Hey, are you sure you don't want to take this back to Wangshu Inn?” she asks.

“No, he'll know I'm here if we return,”

“Can't he sense you?”

You shake your head, “No, I learned how to conceal adeptal energy from Morax-shen,”

Her face goes into surprise, “That's… very impressive, wow, not even a millenia old and you've already mastered it?”

She smiles at you, “You're learning well,”

“Thank you,” you smile, then sigh, “I still haven't found out who that human was to him…”

It's Madame Ping that speaks now, “The human was a healer,” she began.

She pours another cup of tea for her and Ganyu as she continues, “The reason he was assigned to them was because healers were the first to be killed off.”

“In a war, it makes sense to do such a thing to ensure brute force and violence would hail victory,”

She places the teapot down, “The Conqueror of Demons fell in love with that human.”

Ganyu shows surprise as everything clicks for you. But it doesn't make sense, if they fell in love with that human, why am I having dreams about their time together?

“She died during the war,” Madame Ping tells you gravely.

“Oh.”

“How cruel,” Ganyu whispers.

A new voice joins the discussion, “After the war, he was assigned to Wangshu Inn as his base of operations,”

“Morax-shen!”

He smiles, “I wasn't informed there was a tea party,” he says as he takes a seat.

You say nothing as you watch him sip on the cup.

“Will you tell me now?”

His eyes flit to you, “I suppose it is time,”

…

He feels the pull of the life bond the moment you're out of the radius.

Why? he keeps asking his mind, Why would you leave? Where would you go? Did you leave on your own or were you taken? Why would you leave him again?

He can't find you, he can't sense you, and he's going insane. Xiao warps to the highest point of Wangshu Inn and desperately tries to find you.

He can feel your anguish, the pulsing of your veins, but he can't sense where you are.

Just come back. Please, just come back.

He can hear his heart thrumming in his chest, his throat tightens, and he- he realises this is exactly how he felt when he couldn't find you.

When he couldn't save you.

“Xiao…” the wind carries your voice to him.

Just like last time.

“...Find me where we last departed…”

What?

…

Morax has told you the truth.

What exactly is wrong with Xiao, but that he has no idea how to treat it, only to temper the symptoms.

Who exactly you are to Xiao, how you were that human from half a century ago, how you died during a camp invasion as they were busy fighting off in the North.

How you were made specifically for Xiao. Not only so that you can heal him, but also because you were his lover.

It made sense. A god wanting his warrior a chance to rest. To live the life he was unable to when he wasin the war.

Rex Lapis was a merciful god.

He tells you where you died.

…

Xiao find you in the same river where you died in his arms.

He stares, not knowing what to do.

Was this punishment? Did he really piss his god off that he was given you and you were to be killed again in front off him? In the same place you were taken from him all those years ago?

Instead he hears you hum a song he has not heard of in a long time.

A song he taught to the past you.

Lover's Oath.

He takes one step forward and the water beneath his feet makes a splash.

You turn.

The breath in his lungs disappates.

“Xiao,” you smile, “I'm back,”

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usagi's note: im so happy i might finish editing the last three parts of this later or sometime over the weekend anyway pls tell me what u thought abt it, and as always take care!! o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o PLEASE NOTICE HOW I WROTE THAT U CALLED HIM XIAO INSTEAD OF XIANSHENG.

taglist (open! green can't be tagged): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss @femaholicc

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!