#son seungkwan

[itsmahree]

[seungcheorry]

seungcheol's eyes are still red, wet and puffy when he walks into your shared apartment. he sighs, puffing his cheeks and pouting just like a little kid.

his pout gets bigger when he hears you giggling.

"what?", seungcheol asks in a sharpy, cute tone, while he takes his shoes off and wear his slippers. "did you see it too?"

"i guess everyone saw it, babe."

seungcheol groans, using the sleeve of his black t-shirt to wipe his eyes. there's no sign of makeup on his face now, so his skin is all clear, with its natural flaws and marks.

"that son of a bitch", he curses, walking up to the couch and sitting beside you. "damn you, kwon soonyoung."

"yeah, okay", you pat his back. "let it all out."

seungcheol crosses his arms. usually he would be talking about caratland right now, running your ears out about how great it was, something funny seungkwan did backstage, or how thrilled he is to have wonwoo on his cooking show.

but right now? he's just sitting there, staring at the void with a frown on his beautiful face, not moving at all. and you know what that can lead to...

and honestly, it doesn't take much until seungcheol sniffs and you're no longer patting his back, but caressing now. he hates crying in front of people, but oh well - didn't he just do that in front of thousands and thousands of carats just now?

"it's okay", you tell him. "they're greateful for you, and i'm glad they expressed that today."

"i hate them", he playfully says, his voice sounding different because of the lump in his throat. "i'm gonna treat them all to dinner tomorrow for how much i hate them."

seungcheol breaks, his words chocking him up as he hiccups.

"of course, babe. of course."

have you considered giving me a tip? | ko-fi

[thedensworld]

Gentle Daddy | C. Sc

Pairing: Scoups x reader

Genre: fluff, parent au

Summary: welcome aboard to the threenager stage of Seungcheol's son and how he parents him.

Seungcheol was seventeen when he met Chan, the youngest of their group. Was Chan a little brother? Yes. But at the start? Not quite. To Seungcheol, Chan was just another kid, someone he had to look after out of duty rather than choice.

As the oldest in their group, Seungcheol often became the subject of jokes about his strict ways. “Everyone, if you don’t wake up on three, I’ll give you 10 more laps of running,” Seungkwan teased, mimicking Seungcheol's commanding tone from their training days, complete with a mock-serious expression that drew laughter.

“Seungcheol hyung definitely needs someone gentle to balance that out,” Chan piped up with a cheeky grin. But before he could finish, Seungcheol raised an eyebrow and asked, “Balance what?”

Chan swallowed nervously, waving his hand dismissively as the others burst into laughter. “No, no, I was talking to myself,” he stammered.

But now, Seungcheol stood in a different scene, holding his three-year-old son, Wontae, on his arm during his birthday party. The house was filled with chatter and laughter, the kind only close friends could bring.

“Your interior is beautiful, Seungcheol. Come over and do mine next,” Jeonghan quipped, throwing a casual compliment with a hint of a request. Seungcheol rolled his eyes, scoffing.

“Appa did my room too!” Wontae beamed proudly at Jeonghan. Jeonghan’s features softened as he reached out and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Your appa is very talented, isn’t he?”

Seungcheol discovered his passion for interior design when he was searching online for the perfect nursery layout for Wontae. But nothing he found could match the vision in his mind. After discussing it with you, he decided to take matters into his own hands. Trips to the hardware store turned into projects that filled his weekends: crafting custom cabinets, building desks, and designing coffee tables.

In preparation for the party, Seungcheol went all out—rearranging furniture, painting walls, and adding small decorative touches that showcased his new hobby.

“It’s almost as good as Mingyu’s house,” Jeonghan said with a mischievous smirk. Seungcheol chuckled, nodding in agreement. “I think taking care of others did that to me. Just like how Mingyu took care of everything for us back in the day.”

“I want to get down,” Wontae said, squirming in his father’s arms. Seungcheol gently set him down, watching with a smile as his son darted over to Wonwoo, who was showing him a video game on his phone.

“He’s going to be three, wow!” Jeonghan remarked, shaking his head in disbelief. “It feels like just yesterday when I first held him.”

“How is it like?” Jeonghan asked, a rare tone of seriousness in his voice.

Seungcheol sighed, his lips curving into a soft smile. “Go get married and have one yourself,” he said playfully.

“Jeonghan’s getting married?” Your voice chimed in as you returned from putting Wonna, your four-month-old daughter, to sleep. Both Seungcheol and Jeonghan turned toward you. Seungcheol’s eyes softened as he reached for your waist, pulling you gently into his side.

“Is she asleep?” he asked, concern blending with affection. You nodded, resting a hand on his chest.

“Don’t listen to him,” Jeonghan interjected, rolling his eyes but unable to hide the smile tugging at his lips.

“I feel really bad that you’re going through all of this right after giving birth, just for his birthday party,” Jeonghan joked, glancing around at the well-decorated room. The party was being held the day after Seungcheol’s birthday, even though Wontae’s actual birthday was next week.

“I told you, it’s for Wontae!” Seungcheol insisted, his tone defensive but playful.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Jeonghan, I gave birth four months ago. Besides, I’m grateful that Joshua and Mingyu helped with the food prep.” You nodded toward Joshua and Mingyu, who were now joined by Jihoon in the kitchen, scrubbing dishes and joking with each other.

Suddenly, a tiny voice interrupted the grown-up conversation. “Look what Uncle Hoshi got me! It’s a matching tiger onesie for me and Wonna!” Wontae announced proudly, holding up the tiny outfit with wide eyes full of excitement.

Seungcheol’s eyes flicked to Hoshi, who was now rolling on the floor, laughing at Wontae’s reaction. The older man couldn’t help but smirk, shaking his head.

You smiled and turned to Seungcheol. “I’ll go help him with his present,” you said, squeezing his arm before walking over to your son.

Jeonghan, still standing beside Seungcheol, gave him a knowing pat on the shoulder. “You know, it’s great you married Y/N. I never thought I’d see the day when the legendary Seungcheol, the training tyrant, would become the poster child for gentle parenting.”

Seungcheol scoffed, turning to Jeonghan with a mock glare. “A monster? Really? You’re one to talk,” he protested, crossing his arms but unable to suppress the grin threatening to break through.

Jeonghan just laughed, throwing his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m just stating the facts. Besides, we all know you wouldn’t be half as patient if it weren’t for her.”

Seungcheol glanced across the room where you were now helping Wontae into the tiger onesie, a soft smile crossing his face. The room buzzed with laughter and warmth, the chaos of their little family perfectly imperfect.

*

Seungcheol woke up a bit late this morning, the warm glow of the morning sun filtering through the curtains. A soft smile spread across his face as he took in the sight of his family already gathered at the dining table for breakfast. The sound of Wontae’s cheerful voice filled the room when he spotted his dad entering.

“Appa!” Wontae called out with excitement, his tiny hands waving eagerly. Seungcheol walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Wontae’s head before his eyes found Wonna, cradled in your arms, contentedly finishing her second bottle of the day.

“Wonna Wonna~ did you sleep well, my princess?” Seungcheol cooed, his heart melting at the sight of his daughter’s chubby cheeks. Wonna wriggled in your embrace, her eyes lighting up as she recognized her father’s voice.

“You had breakfast, love?” Seungcheol’s gaze shifted to you, his tone laced with concern. You shook your head with a soft smile. “I was waiting for you.”

He grinned, taking Wonna gently from your arms. “I’ll play with Wonna for a bit. Go have your breakfast.”

You nodded, appreciating his thoughtful gesture, and sat down to enjoy breakfast with Wontae. After some quality playtime with Wonna and tucking her back into her crib for a nap, Seungcheol returned to the dining room. By then, Wontae had retreated to his bedroom, engrossed in the toys his uncles had gifted him.

“Wontae loves Mingyu’s gift,” Seungcheol said with a chuckle, recalling how his son had immediately fallen in love with the plush corgi toy Mingyu had brought him. It was amusing how Wontae adored anything Mingyu gave, no matter what it was.

You laughed as you finished your meal. “Of course he does. He’s your son, after all. It makes sense he’d have a special bond with Mingyu.”

Seungcheol joined in your laughter, the sound warm and genuine. “Thanks, love,” he said when you placed a steaming bowl of rice and soup in front of him.

“Is your head still dizzy?” you asked, sitting beside him to keep him company while he ate.

He sighed, a touch of guilt crossing his features. “Not as much, but I really need to cut down on my drinking.” A rueful smile followed. “I still don’t get how you don’t drink at all—not even a beer.”

You smiled, amused by his amazement. “The last time I drank was before I got pregnant with Wontae,” you reminded him. Seungcheol’s eyes widened as the memory came rushing back—it had been at Joshua’s birthday party.

“Right!” he said, letting out a soft chuckle at the recollection.

Before he could say more, Wontae’s voice rang out, echoing through the hallway. “Eomma! Come here!” He came running into the dining room, eyes sparkling with excitement as he tugged at your hand, eager for you to join him in his room.

“How about we stay here and keep Appa company while he finishes eating?” you suggested gently, but Wontae shook his head, determination written all over his little face.

“No! I want to show you my drawing!” he insisted, practically bouncing on his feet. “Uncle Chan gave me crayons, and there are so many colors! Even five different blues!”

You exchanged a knowing look with Seungcheol, your heart swelling at Wontae’s joy. “Alright, let’s see your masterpiece,” you said, getting up and giving Seungcheol a reassuring smile before following your son.

Five minutes later, you returned to the dining room, barely suppressing your laughter. Seungcheol had just finished eating and looked up, curiosity piqued by your expression.

“You should see what he’s done in there,” you said, eyes twinkling with amusement.

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What did he do this time?”

“You need to see it for yourself,” you urged, playfully nudging him in the direction of Wontae’s room. “I’ll take care of the dishes.”

With a grin, Seungcheol pushed back his chair, eager to see what kind of adventure awaited him in his son’s room.

Seungcheol opened Wontae's room and was greeted by the sight of his son enthusiastically coloring in his new book, using the crayons Chan had gifted him. The vibrant hues danced across the pages, a mix of scribbles and childlike shapes. Wontae’s eyes lit up when he noticed his father standing at the door. He bounded over, grabbing Seungcheol’s hand and pulling him toward his little art corner.

“Look, Appa! I drew a rock!” Wontae exclaimed, pride beaming from his small face.

Seungcheol’s eyes followed Wontae’s pointing finger until they landed on the wall. Oh my god. There, on the freshly painted surface, was a child’s drawing—a colorful depiction of what was presumably a rock, sketched in bold crayon strokes.

He froze, processing the situation. So this was why you had insisted he see it for himself. He could practically hear the smile in your voice when you said it.

“You drew on the wall?” he asked, keeping his voice as steady as possible.

Wontae nodded innocently. “But Eomma said it’s better to draw on the coloring book, so now I draw here. But sometimes it gets boring, Appa!”

Seungcheol felt a wave of relief wash over him. So you caught him and told him to stop. Thank god.

He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath to quell the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. Remember, Seungcheol, they don’t know better. They don’t understand how much work it is to paint a wall.

“Yes, your eomma is right. Drawing on your coloring book is best.” He sat down on the floor beside Wontae, the urge to scold replaced by the desire to guide. “Show me more of your drawings here.”

Wontae beamed at the invitation, plopping down next to his father and eagerly flipping through the pages of his coloring book. Seungcheol couldn’t help but smile as he watched his son’s eyes sparkle with excitement, oblivious to any worry or consequence.

Every time Seungcheol’s eyes strayed to the drawing on the wall, a chuckle escaped his lips. It was ridiculous! He wanted to be mad, really mad, but he just couldn’t muster it. “You know you shouldn’t draw on the wall, right?” he asked his son, carefully suppressing the instinct to say, “I just painted that! Why did you draw on it?!” in a booming voice that would only frighten the boy. He took a deep breath, holding back the frustration that threatened to spill out.

Wontae looked up at his father’s face, his eyes wide with curiosity as he noticed something unusual. “Why is your face red, Appa?” he asked, putting down his crayon and reaching up with his tiny hands to cup Seungcheol’s flushed cheeks. Seungcheol let out another soft chuckle, his anger melting further.

“You know Appa loves this house, right?” Seungcheol said, his tone remaining gentle and warm.

Wontae nodded, his little head bobbing earnestly.

“No one in this house draws on the walls because Appa worked hard to keep them nice and clean,” Seungcheol explained, still smiling softly despite the chaos inside him.

Wontae bit his lip, his eyes beginning to glisten with tears. “Are you mad at me for drawing on the wall?” His voice trembled as he spoke, and Seungcheol’s heart lurched. Panic surged through him—he was the one who felt like crying, not his son!

“I didn’t say I’m mad at you,” Seungcheol said quickly.

“But your face says it…” Wontae mumbled, the quiver in his voice growing more pronounced.

Oh no. Shit.

“Eommaaaa!” Wontae suddenly burst out, tears streaming down his cheeks as he ran toward you. Seungcheol’s eyes darted to the doorway where you were standing, suppressing a smile as you scooped up your tearful son into your arms.

“Why? What happened?” you asked Wontae in a whisper, stroking his back to soothe him.

“Your father wasn’t mad at you, was he?” you asked softly, glancing over at Seungcheol with a knowing smile. “Did he shout at you?” Wontae shook his head, hiccupping as he clung to your shoulder.

“No,” Wontae admitted, his sobs quieting as you continued to comfort him.

“He was just talking to you,” you reassured him, casting Seungcheol a gentle, supportive look.

Seungcheol groaned internally, a mix of confusion and self-reproach. He thought he’d nailed it—the gentle parenting that you both had worked so hard to practice. Yet here was his son, still able to sense the tension in his expression, and hurt by it despite the lack of yelling or scolding.

Seungcheol sighed, running a hand through his hair as he sat back on his heels. “We’re on this stage now,” he muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

You glanced at him, raising a brow. “What stage?”

“The threenager stage,” Seungcheol said, his tone carrying both exasperation and amusement. “I read about it somewhere. It’s when kids start acting like teenagers—rebelling, pushing boundaries, testing their parents’ patience. Wontae’s only three, but he already knows how to push all my buttons.”

You laughed softly, shifting Wontae in your arms as his sniffles subsided. “It’s not rebellion, Seungcheol. It’s curiosity. He’s learning, exploring his emotions, and figuring out how far he can go.”

“Exploring his emotions by drawing on my freshly painted wall?” Seungcheol deadpanned, though a small smile tugged at his lips. He wasn’t truly upset anymore—not when Wontae was looking up at him with wide, apologetic eyes.

“Exactly,” you teased, setting Wontae back down on the floor. “It’s frustrating, but it’s normal. And you handled it really well, by the way.”

Seungcheol tilted his head, raising a skeptical brow. “I did?”

“Yes,” you said firmly, giving him an encouraging smile. “You didn’t yell or scare him. You explained things calmly. That’s the kind of parenting that sticks with them, Seungcheol. He’ll remember this.”

Seungcheol glanced at Wontae, who had returned to his coloring book but kept sneaking shy glances at his father. He felt a wave of warmth wash over him, mingled with pride and relief. I can do this, he thought. Even when it’s tough, I can do this.

“Okay, buddy,” Seungcheol said, crouching down to Wontae’s level. “Let’s make a deal. No more drawing on the walls, okay? If you want to draw something big, we’ll find some paper or maybe a special board just for you. How does that sound?”

Wontae’s face lit up at the idea. “A special board? Really?”

“Really,” Seungcheol promised, ruffling his son’s hair. “But only if you promise no more wall art.”

“I promise, Appa!” Wontae beamed, holding up his pinky. Seungcheol chuckled and locked his pinky with his son’s, sealing the deal.

You watched the exchange with a fond smile, stepping closer to place a hand on Seungcheol’s shoulder. “See? You’re doing great.”

Seungcheol exhaled deeply, his smile widening. “Thanks, love. I guess I just need to remember to breathe. And to hide all the crayons.”

You both laughed softly, and for a moment, the chaos felt a little more manageable.

*

"One… Two… Three…" Seungcheol’s voice was steady as he counted while Chan, drenched in sweat, gritted his teeth to finish his push-up set. His arms trembled, and his face was etched with exhaustion, but he pushed through, determined to complete the punishment.

The door to the practice room swung open, and the rest of the group filed in, their faces a mix of confusion and amusement as they took in the scene. Seungcheol stood towering over Chan, arms crossed, while the youngest member struggled through the exercise. It was a far cry from what anyone had expected when they read Seungcheol's early-morning text asking Chan to come to the practice room an hour ahead of schedule.

"What’s going on here?" Joshua asked, barely hiding his amusement as he watched Chan squirm on the floor.

"Ten!" Seungcheol finished his count, clapping his hands in exaggerated applause. He smirked as Chan collapsed onto the floor, utterly spent. "That’s ten sets done—one hundred push-ups. Congratulations, Chan. That’s what you get for giving my son those crayons."

Chan’s pout was instant. "It’s not fair! It’s your son who drew on the wall. Why am I the one getting punished?" His voice was full of indignation, though it lacked the energy to be truly effective.

Mingyu burst into laughter, doubling over as realization dawned. "Wait, wait—Wontae drew all over the wall with the crayons Chan gave him? That’s hilarious!" He clutched his sides, nearly toppling over from laughing so hard.

Jeonghan, leaning casually against the doorframe, nodded in mock agreement. "Honestly, it makes sense. Seungcheol’s a gentle appa with Wontae—there’s no way he’d punish his precious son for something like this." He shot Chan a teasing grin. "But you? Yeah, I’d do the same if I were Seungcheol."

Chan groaned dramatically, throwing an arm over his face. "This is so unfair!" he whined, his voice muffled. "I’m the innocent one here! Gentle appa is a fraud—he’s evil!"

Seungcheol couldn’t hold back his chuckle as he crouched down to look at Chan. "Gentle appa does exist," he said with a smirk, "but only for Wontae. You and your crayons? You’re a different story."

"See?" Jeonghan said, straightening up. "I told you. Seungcheol’s priorities are clear."

Chan sat up, still sulking. "Unfair. So unfair." He shot a glance at the others, hoping for sympathy, but all he got were amused grins and stifled laughter.

"Hey," Joshua added, chuckling softly, "at least now you know not to mess with Wontae’s creative genius—or his dad’s freshly painted walls."

Mingyu clapped Chan on the back, nearly knocking him over again. "Think of it as a lesson in self-sacrifice. You helped foster Wontae’s artistic side. That’s a win, right?"

Chan groaned louder, flopping onto the floor in defeat, while Seungcheol leaned against the wall with a triumphant grin. "Alright, everyone. Lesson’s over. Let’s get to practice before he starts crying for real."

"So unfair!"

[scoupsakakitty]

Could I please request a idolhusband mingyu x wife au? Where the wife surprises him (and svt) at practice with their children?

Family Surprise | idol!mingyu x wife!reader | fluff

The practice room was filled with heavy breathing and the faint echo of music fading into silence. Mingyu ran a hand through his damp hair, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Let’s take five,” S.Coups called out, clapping his hands together.

A chorus of relieved groans followed as the members dropped to the floor or grabbed their water bottles. Mingyu stretched his arms, rolling his shoulders to ease the tension. He loved performing, but long rehearsals like these made him miss home more than anything.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, his lips tugging into a small smile as he glanced at the lock screen—a photo of his wife and their two children from earlier that morning.

Jeonghan, who had been watching him, smirked. “You miss them already, don’t you?”

Mingyu didn’t even try to deny it. “Obviously.”

“You just saw them this morning,” Joshua pointed out, shaking his head with a chuckle.

Mingyu shrugged. “And? I miss them every second.”

The others laughed at his lovesick response, but before anyone could tease him further, the practice room door swung open.

“Appa!”

Mingyu’s head snapped up, his eyes widening at the sight of his two-year-old daughter waddling toward him with tiny, determined steps. Behind her, his wife stood with their newborn son cradled in her arms, watching the scene unfold with a soft smile.

For a moment, Mingyu could only stare in shock. Then, without thinking, he rushed forward, scooping his daughter into his arms and spinning her around.

“You’re really here?” he asked, still processing the unexpected surprise.

His wife chuckled. “You’ve been working so hard. I thought you deserved a little visit.”

Mingyu barely heard the response, too busy pressing kisses all over his daughter’s chubby cheeks as she giggled. His gaze then shifted to his newborn son, still wrapped snugly in his wife’s arms.

“And this little guy?” Mingyu gently brushed a finger over the baby’s tiny hand. “Did you miss me too, buddy?”

The rest of Seventeen, who had just processed what was happening, immediately erupted into chaos.

“Wait, what?” Seungkwan threw his hands up. “Why did no one tell us we were getting special guests today?”

“Oh my God, look at her! She’s grown so much!” DK gushed, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Let me hold her!” Dino reached out, and the toddler happily extended her arms toward her favorite uncle.

Mingyu watched in amusement as his daughter was passed around, each member taking turns doting on her. His son, meanwhile, was being held with extreme caution by Wonwoo, who studied him like he was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“She’s too cute to be Mingyu’s,” Woozi commented as he tickled the toddler’s cheeks.

Mingyu pouted. “Why does everyone say that?”

“Because it’s true,” Vernon chimed in.

Hoshi, who had been watching with a dramatic pout, sighed. “I’m jealous. Mingyu has it all—a beautiful wife, cute kids… What about the rest of us?”

Woozi didn’t miss a beat. “You could too, if you actually tried.”

The room burst into laughter as Hoshi clutched his chest, pretending to be mortally wounded.

Mingyu, still holding onto his wife’s hand, smiled as he watched his family being showered with love. No matter how exhausting work got, moments like this made everything worth it.

He turned to his wife, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple. “Thank you for this.”

She squeezed his hand in return. “You deserve it.”

Mingyu couldn’t ask for anything more. He already had everything he ever wanted—his family, his brothers, and a life filled with love.

And in this moment, that was all he needed.

[pochaccoups]

cheol has been so hot recently i need his kids

cw — nsfw, talk of kids & pregnancy, breeding, reader referred to as ‘girl’

“Four, Seungcheol?”

“Huh?” your fiancé perks up from his phone at the sound of your voice.

“Four kids? Three boys and one girl?”

He raises one of his thick brows at you and a smirk appears on his lips. “Is that what you want?”

“No, apparently that’s what eighteen year-old Seungcheol wanted,” you say, waving your phone screen at his face. “Seungkwan sent me a video of you asking Dino how many kids he wants when he’s older. First of all, he looks like a newborn, so I don’t know why you would ask him that. Second of all, four?!”

He stretches his palm out towards you, a curious frown wracking his features as you hand your phone to him so he can watch said video.

He watches it through, and it appears you’re right—it’s his younger self telling his members that he wants three sons and a youngest daughter.

It’s not like you haven’t talked kids with him before. In fact, it’s come up a few times before, and he’s always been considerate of you only. It’s however many you want, and if you don’t want any, that’s fine too. That’s why it’s a little comical seeing a younger Seungcheol fantasise about having so many kids when you’re almost certain he had never even been in the same room with a girl yet.

For a moment he worries that you’re genuinely mad at him over this, until you throw yourself onto the couch next to him with the cutest fake pouty frown on your face.

“Your poor future wife’s womb,” you say, shaking your head at him like you’re disappointed. “You’re so inconsiderate of her.”

“We’re talking in third person now?” he laughs, reaching over to massage your thighs.

“Well, no, because I won’t be carrying four of your gremlins.”

He gives a half-scoff, half-laugh. “I’m not asking you to, honey,” he says, growing serious for a moment. The next moment he’s grinning again, eyes twinkling with mischief. “But I remember what one of your friends told me you said to her when me and you met for the first time.”

Sweat starts pouring down your face immediately.

“You said I was so hot that you’d give me a football team of kids if I wanted.”

“I was drunk!”

“You were tipsy at most,” he corrects.

“Whatever,” you say with a roll of your eyes and the heat of the sun in your cheeks. “I didn’t lie.”

“Oh, yeah? I thought you refuse to ‘carry my gremlins’ though. Now you want a whole football team?”

“Seungcheol!” you exclaim, smacking at his arm for his audacity. “Why don’t we worry about just one for now?”

“Wait… really?” Seungcheol asks, his eyes shining. “I thought you wanted to wait until after the wedding.”

“It’s in two months, so it’s not like I’ll be showing. Also, it can take a couple of weeks of trying to even get pregnant in the first place.”

Okay, maybe there are a few more logistical issues with being pregnant on your wedding day, but truth be told, right now, all Seungcheol can think about is fucking you into another dimension.

“Honey, I promise that I will put a baby in you by morning.”

He wasn’t lying.

The clock nears three a.m. and Seungcheol still pounds away at you like a feral dog. Every inch of your skin is sticky with either spit, sweat, or cum. Your muscles burn from exertion, not yet aching but by the time day comes they will be.

It started off soft—kisses that were bursting with love and excitement because you wanted to have a baby. A family. Seungcheol’s touches dripped with appreciation for you, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d be like this but a thousand times more when you’re actually pregnant.

Then he’d fucked you full the first time, and in the blink of an eye, the tenderness in his eyes was gone. He’d filled you up, yet suddenly, it wasn’t enough. It didn’t help that you begged so sweetly for his cum, with your pretty eyes gazing up at him, glimmering.

He’s never been immune to your eyes.

From then on his grasp had turned bruising. Now he’s got you pressed into the mattress, pouring every ounce of his weight into fucking you.

“Feels so fucking good, Cheol,” you whimper, throat dry and raspy from all the moaning you’ve been doing. Your fingers are weak as they curl into the sheets below, but you need something to cling to or else you might pass out.

“Yeah, look at you still taking it. My fucking girl,” he grunts, digging his fingers into your hips as he arches your back further down, burying his cock impossibly deeper inside you until you swear he’s in your womb. His cum from previous rounds slips out of your hole with every time he punches into you, but Seungcheol makes no effort to push it back inside—it means he’d have to pull out, and, right now, he’d probably rather die than leave the warmth of your walls that clench down on him so tight that they keep him nestled inside.

“Made for me, you know that? You and this pussy were made for me,” he rambles, leaning down until his hard, sweat-slicked chest is pressed to your back. His hot, jagged breaths nip at your ear. “Made to take my cum, to carry my kids.”

“All yours, Cheol,” you manage in a whisper. His rough hands leave your hips, only to cover your own hands as they claw at the sheets, and lace your fingers together. A reminder that he’s still your Seungcheol, your future husband, who loves and cares for you more than anything and would never do anything to hurt you. It makes your heart and your pussy clench.

“Gonna cum again, baby? Can you take one more?” he asks, with a punched out chuckle.

“Fuck- yes, I can take it,” you mewl, voice cracking, mustering up any last remaining strength in you to push back against his hips, shamelessly desperate for cock. “Wanna cum again. Want your cum too.”

It takes everything in Seungcheol not to lose his mind. He wonders how he got so lucky with you, because he’s convinced the gods made you for him and put you in this world. The fact that he also managed to find you is a miracle.

He peels himself off of you, straightens back up, and fucks into you with such vigour that you start to see stars. Or maybe it’s your orgasm, because it’s almost immediate the way your abdomen erupts with a soft glow of pleasure—he’s wrung all the energy out of you so that it’s no longer crashing waves but a gentle pulse. Still, it leaves you breathless and teary-eyed, your pussy clamping down on Seungcheol’s cock, desperate for his seed.

“There it is, good girl,” he coos, watching tenderly as you gasp and shudder from the pleasure subsiding. “I’m right there too, baby, gonna stuff you full again, just how you like it, hm?”

Gentle fingers push strands of hair out of your face, his thumb wiping away the stray tears that roll down your cheek.

“Please, want your baby in me, Cheollie,” you sob.

“I’ll give you a baby. I promised, didn’t I?”

Inside your walls, his cock throbs and pulses with his promise, begging to coat your womb.

“Yes, yes, please! Want it so bad.”

You’re not sure how Seungcheol even has anything left in him, but a moment later and he’s spilling his seed inside you in spurts again, filling you up for the nth time tonight. You smile at the warmth, at the feeling of fullness that nobody but him could give you.

“Baby? Are you okay? Is it too much?” he asks, pulling out of you all too quickly after he’d come back down from his high. Your ‘perfect, doting fiancé’ Seungcheol replaces the ‘rabid animal’ Seungcheol in an instant when his head clears and he takes in the sight of you, covered in fluids and bruises and marks from his mouth and his hands.

“‘m good, just… so tired,” you say, falling to your side with a yawn, grimacing at the feeling of dried cum and spit on your skin as you move.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have kept going, I’m sorry for pushing you that hard,” he says, voice heavy. He lays next to you, stroking your cheek, his eyes glazed over with guilt.

“I would have asked to stop, I promise. You know I can take it,” you tell him, smiling assuredly at him.

“I definitely know that now.” He laughs, albeit nervously.

“Besides, you promised you’d put a baby in me by morning and there’s no way I’m not pregnant after that.”

He watches you pat your tummy and the guilt in his features vanishes then, and in its place comes smug, utterly shameless pride. He has a feeling, just an inkling, that none of this went to waste, that it stuck, that you’re right.

As a sweet slumber takes over you, the last thing you hear is your fiancé’s hushed words of “I love you,” and the feel of his lips against your forehead.

[xinganhao]

to all the boys i've loved before (maknae ver.) 💌 a choose-your-own adventure.

one day, the letters you wrote for everyone you've ever loved go missing. said letters find themselves in the hands of the six boys you've wanted throughout different points in your life. now: who will you pick? -> see hyung ver. here!

✉️ 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊𝐌𝐈𝐍, your summer camp crush.

✉️ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐔, the guy on the bus.

✉️ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐎, the bookstore cashier.

✉️ 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐍, weekend warrior.

✉️ 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎𝐍, the friend of a friend.

✉️ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍, your auntie's son.

💌 the winning member will have a special chapter release in time for valentine's. happy voting!

with love, kae ✎ this was made possible with the input, hand-holding, and crush-trope suggestions of some amazing people: a, ally, bennie, eunha, kat, maple, nana, serena, tara, and tiya!

› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao

[nothoughtsjustfic]

Finding Yourself - C.SC [Part 2]

🐢Who: Choi Seungcheol (Seventeen) x female reader 🐢What: 18+. Dark themes. Mafia au. Angst. Fluff. Suggestive. Slow burn. Mafia Boss Seungcheol. Single parent Seungcheol. Strangers to friends to lovers. Chan is reader’s little brother. Hansol is Seungcheol’s son. 🐢Word count: 21k 🐢Warnings: Characters with autism/ADHD. Selective mutism. Mentions and depictions of being overwhelmed/sensory overload and meltdowns. Degrading language, including mental disability slur. Gang typical content: threats, violence, torture, weapons, injury, blood, morally fucked up characters, mentions of past forced sex work. Mentions of being branded. Suggestive content & sexual conversations. Brief misunderstanding. 🐢Summary:“In an attempt to protect your little brother, you run away from home and the gang your father forced you into as a teenager.

You truly thought you were done with that life. But months later, when members of the Centaurs gang find you and your brother squatting in their property mid gang-fight, they take you back to their headquarters and force you right back into it.

Suddenly, you find yourself living in the home of the leader of the oldest, most famous gang in the entire country, and you very quickly realise that he isn’t the ruthless monster everyone thinks he is.”

Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging and/or commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio.

Masterlist Finding Yourself Part 1 – Finding Yourself Part 3

Disclaimer: Okay, so I feel like I need to point out that I do have both autism and ADHD, and I have done a lot of research around both during my own discovery/diagnosis periods; even now I’m constantly learning that more aspects of myself are very common in people with autism/ADHD so there is truth behind how the characters are portrayed in this fic. Yet, with that being said, both autism and ADHD are very vast in that you can have a room full of people with both disabilities and yet every single one of those people are incredibly different, which means that the characters in this story who have autism or ADHD are not accurate portrayals of every single person with either. There are 4 clearly stated autistic people in this fic throughout and they are each different personalities and how their disability affects them. So please don’t leave comments or send rude asks accusing me of misrepresentation or anything like that just because a character you’ve watched in a movie isn’t written the same as these characters, thanks.

Although most of your time over the following weeks is spent with Seungkwan as the two of you watch over the boys while they learn and play together, you feel like your time with Seungcheol feels like more somehow.

Maybe it’s because it’s always just the two of you in his office, side by side on the loveseat together, to discuss everything you know about the Vultures and how Seungcheol can take them apart so severely that they’ll never put themselves back together again. Maybe it’s because you both quickly lose track of time as you talk bent over his notebook together for hours. Maybe it’s because even when he closes the notebook and declares his brain is too fried to talk work any longer, you remain side by side on the couch to talk about everything and anything that comes to mind. Maybe it’s because the first time that you don’t stop yourself from flexing your hands when you start to get overloaded, Seungcheol notices and doesn’t stop you, just silently closes the notebook before shutting the study door and opening the window to let the cool night air in with the subtle sounds of nature to help you relax.

Ever since the first time Seungcheol saw your stimming, he’s paid closer attention to the signs and often reaches out to stop you from sitting on your hands or pressing your legs down so that you don’t bounce them. He silently encourages you and even keeps fidget toys on the coffee table now for you to play with as the two of you work and doesn’t tell you to sit down when you get up to walk around or pace sometimes. He just carries on talking and always manages to land his eyes on you when he looks up as if he’s keeping track of you in his periphery.

It’s the first time anyone has ever taken the time to see you; to understand and let you just exist as you’re supposed to. You don’t think you’ve even given yourself such care before. But thanks to Seungcheol’s gentle encouragement and silent support, you think you’re starting to find yourself little by little.

“Hey- oh,” Seungcheol greets as he walks into his study one evening and finds that you’ve rearranged the furniture. “Uh, what happened in here?”

“It was wrong,” you declare, as you frown at the study while looking around it in dissatisfaction. “It still is.” You huff and go back to moving the heavy desk for the third time.

“Alright, there’s clearly something here,” Seungcheol walks over and tugs you away from the desk to hold your hands, even as you tug slightly in a weak attempt to free yourself. You’re not sure what you want right now: if you’re okay with the touch or would rather he be across the room. “What’s going on, is something wrong, sweetheart?”

“I told you; it’s wrong. Everything is wrong, Seungcheol.”

“The room? We can move the furniture as much as you want if that’s what you need right now, but I don’t think it is.” You pull your hands from his hold with a huff and return to the desk.

For a few minutes, Seungcheol silently stands and watches you adjust the desk in such tiny increments that he really wouldn’t even know you’ve moved it if he hasn’t got his attention glued to you. When he sees you lift and lower one end a few times without changing the desk to a different position, he suddenly thinks he understands and hums.

“Come on,” he says, walking over to take your hand into his. You look at him with a frown. “I think I know what will help, come on.” Although you’re confused, you trust the man, so you obediently follow him with your hand in his.

It’s now that you suddenly realise the truth of that; that even though you’ve only known him less than two months, you trust Choi Seungcheol; the big, bad boss of the most feared gang in the country.

Of course, you know that he’s no saint by any means, he’s come home with bloodied knuckles and other people’s blood speckled on his neck where he hasn’t noticed it when clearing up before coming into the manor. You know he can be ruthless and vicious, but he’s also the most understanding and accepting person you’ve ever met, and he’s raising the sweetest little boy. Seungcheol really can’t be a truly bad person to have such a caring son as Hansol.

The realisation that you would blindly follow this man without question makes you stop in your tracks in pure shock, despite being on the stairs.

Seungcheol immediately comes to a still a few steps in front of you and turns to look up at you worriedly. “You okay, sweetheart?”

“I trust you,” you mutter.

Seungcheol blinks a few times, dumbstruck by the sudden admittance before he walks up the steps until he’s on the one below you and looking at you with something strange on his features and in his shining eyes that you really don’t understand. “Yeah?” You nod in confirmation without an ounce of hesitation. Seungcheol smiles and lifts his hand off the banister to gently brush your overgrown hair out of your eyes. “That makes me really happy to hear, sweetheart. I trust you too.”

“I didn’t realise I trust you until now. I don’t think I’ve ever trusted someone like this before. It’s weird.”

“Like what?”

“So quickly and completely.”

“You trust me completely?” You nod. “With everything? With Squirt?”

“His name is Chan,” you inform simply; information that none of them know despite the pair of you having lived in the manor for almost two months now.

Seungcheol’s eyes grow wide in genuine astonishment. “I didn’t think we’d ever know.”

“They don’t. You do.”

“Just me?” You nod. “Oh, sweetheart.” He lets out a breath and cups your cheek for a moment before he lowers his hand again. “Come on.” Seungcheol turns and leads you down the stairs to grab your shoes and coats to put on at the back door before going outside.

When you’re standing side by side at the playground barely lit by the moon overhead, he lets go of your hand and walks over to the huge metal framework to start climbing.

You remain in place and watch him bewilderedly until he looks at you from a couple of metres off the ground with a grin. “Come on, climb with me.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” It’s not normally a convincing argument, but when Seungcheol says it, it seems like enough, and you find yourself walking over to start climbing.

Your movements are timid at first, you don’t think you even climbed much as a child, and you’re still recovering from months of little food and lack of real exercise, so it’s harder than it should be for you to pull and push yourself along the bars and ropes.

But after a while, you look up to find Seungcheol and when you notice his soft smile on you, you realise that you’re smiling too. “Come on, you can almost see over the wall from the top!” He enthuses and turns to keep climbing to the sheltered platform at the very top, leaving him mostly in the shadows once inside.

When you clamber into the shelter a few minutes later, he’s laid on a blanket with a pillow under his head and another at his side. He pats the blanket on his right, so you crawl over and lay down curled up on your side facing him. From his left, he grabs another blanket and lays it out over the both of you before settling on his side to face you.  

“Feel better?” He asks softly when you’re both comfortable.

“I needed to climb?” You ask.

“I think you just needed to put your body to use. That’s why you were moving stuff and kept lifting the desk up and down; to use your muscles. I don’t suppose you do much of that other than carrying Chan. Maybe that’s part of the reason you like carrying him so much, actually.”

“Oh, maybe,” you agree. “That would make sense. I used to train and stuff before leaving so I’m not used to doing so little.”

“We have a home gym, state of the art and everything, you can use it whenever you want, Pearl.” You stare at him for a moment before stating your name, earning a confused look. “Who’s that?”

“Me.”

“You?” You nod. “Oh…oh, that’s your real name.” You hum in confirmation. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.” He shuffles a little closer and takes your hand from where it lays on the blanket between you. “It means a lot to me that you do, more than I can put into words. I’m really fucking happy you trust me so much.”

“I think I’m happy too,” you admit. “It’s like I have a friend.”

“What? Sweetheart,” he frowns and let’s go of your hand to slide his hand up your arm and then to your back to pull you closer, right to his chest.

You’ve never done this before, cuddled, not with anyone other than Chan. You quickly decide that you like it and shuffle closer to tuck your face into his neck while putting your right arm around his waist.

Seungcheol curls his arm around you and turns his head down to kiss the top of your head. “I am your friend, we all are. There’s no like a friend at all, we are.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I’ve always wanted friends.”

“And you have us, for as long as you want us.”

“A long time would be nice.”

“It really fucking would.”

The very next night after had Seungcheol taken you out to the climbing frame, when you enter his office expecting to be empty as he usually arrives after you, he’s already there.

For the first time in two months, you see him wearing sweatpants and a matching, unzipped hoodie, showing the black compression shirt clinging to his firm torso underneath. You’re too thrown off to do anything but stare from the doorway at the sight of the man in such casual clothing when he’s usually always ready to leave the house for work purposes or just back from work; sometimes in suits, sometimes in neat jeans and dark t-shirts, and sometimes in his expensive motorbike leathers.

“What?” He asks where he’s leaning back against his desk in wait with his palms on the edge either side of his hips.

“Never seen you casual,” you answer, coming back to reality, and start to edge towards the seating. Though he chooses now to push off the desk and pick up the material that had been hiding behind him to toss to you, so you’re forced to stop in your path to catch it. “What’s this?”

“Figure you don’t have any workout clothes, so I got some today. Kinda guessed your size, so if it’s wrong, it’s your own fault for wearing baggy trousers and crewnecks all the time.”

“They’re comfy,” you mumble in defence while adjusting the cool material in your hands to take in the matching leggings and sports bra in black, other than the coloured stripes around the top of the thighs. You blink at it dumbly for a moment, then look at him incredulously.

“What?”

“Are you a pervert, Seungcheol?”

In an instant, his eyes turn even wider than normal, and his face visibly warms. “What?! No!”

“I assume you expect me to wear this and work out with you, based on your own outfit.”

“Why does that make me a pervert?! I asked the woman what typical woman’s workout gear is and she told me that’s the most popular set! Blame her!” He gestures pointlessly, flicking his arms out as if to motion to a woman who isn’t even present.

“And you didn’t once look at this and consider that I will essentially be topless and wearing a second set of skin on my legs? I don’t even know if I can wear underwear under this kind of material.”

Seungcheol chokes on his sudden inhale, earning a questioning look from you. “I-I’m fine.”

“You’re red again.”

“Shut up!” He stalks past you out of the room suddenly, only to backtrack and offer his hand while keeping his pink face directed away from you. He looks so childlike and cute that it makes you giggle before accepting his hand and holding the clothes to your chest while he leads you out of his office and down the stairs.

Although you’ve been all over the manor at this point, just to learn where all the hallways lead in case of emergency, you’ve never been down into the basement after learning that it’s just storage and the gym with no sensible exits, only tiny windows along the tops of the outer rooms, meaning you’ve had no reason to go down there until now.

Despite being curious about the layout and what the rooms and halls you pass contain, you focus on Seungcheol and his quick steps as he leads you through the barely lit basement. You can’t tell if the path is so engrained into him that he doesn’t need more lighting to find his way, or if his eyesight is just much more reliable than yours in the dull light.

You’re mostly relying on your hearing to tell you when you enter different spaces, with your eyes glued to Seungcheol’s hand in your own and your feet in your peripheral so that you don’t trip. When the echoes of your steps give away that this room you’ve just entered is much larger and far more open than the halls and smaller rooms you’ve walked through to get here, you correctly guess that you’ve entered the gym.

Though Seungcheol doesn’t pause or turn on a light, he continues forward, slippers slapping across the linoleum, until he stops to open a door and urge you inside.

Finally, he turns on a light and you have to blink and squint for a few seconds to grow accustomed to the sudden white light. Only then are you able to peer around and understand that you’re now standing just inside of a changing room, with lockers along one wall and exposed showers at the back behind you.

“Okay, get changed and come back out. It’s just us here and I promise I’m not going to come in unless you call me, okay?”

“Why would I call you?” You give him a bewildered look before turning to walk to the benches in the centre of the room and put the clothes down.

“If you get hurt or something.”

“I think I’m perfectly capable of getting changed without hurting myself.”

“Right, right, okay, whatever, just get changed and come out,” he decides while waving one hand dismissively before backing up, letting the door swing shut behind him.

Not wanting to make Seungcheol wait around, you quickly change into the leggings and sports bra while wondering how Seungcheol managed to accurately guess your clothes size. At least, based on the tag he correctly guessed your size, because even though the sports bra fits fine, the leggings are practically trying to absorb themselves into your skin and you have to remove your underwear to gain the extra little space to fit them more comfortably over your ass.

“This is ridiculous,” you mutter while looking at your reflection and taking in how tight the material is on you. You’ve never been a fan of such tight clothing simply because you don’t like feeling so constricted, but at least the material is soft enough that you think you’ll be able to handle this long enough to work out and then never force yourself into again.

Part of you wants to change back into your own clothes and tell Seungcheol that there’s no way you can wear this, but the other part of you doesn’t want to disappoint him by not wearing the clothes he went out of his way to buy for you. You figure after all the man has done for you over the past two months, the least you can do is wear the outfit.

You’ve never been self-conscious about your body; it’s not something you’ve ever much cared about, others perception of your physical body, yet today you hesitate before opening the door as a strange little concern of what Seungcheol will think of your body flashes through your mind. Thankfully, it truly is only a rapid worry and goes as soon as it arrives, so you don’t hover any longer than a second before leaving the changing room.

“People really wear this stuff regularly?” You wonder, drawing Seungcheol’s attention from where he’s arranging equipment on the open matted area, the only area he’s turned the lights on for.

“Yeah, that’s-” he cuts off abruptly when his eyes land on you while you approach him.

You see his lips move and can’t tell if he’s saying something to himself too quietly for you to hear or just imitating a fish. Either way, he looks ridiculous with once again wide eyes and his arms slowly dropping downwards as his hands grow lax.

It seems as if he’s somehow forgotten that he’s got a 1kg dumbbell in each hand and only remembers when one of them lands on his sock clad foot. “Fuck!” He exclaims, doubling over until he’s lowered to the mats with his hands clutching the impact site on the top of his right foot.

“Least it was only light,” you comment as you stop beside him, your slippers left next to his own at the side of the mats.

“The fucking corner landed on bone,” he grunts. You eye the bright green, hexagonal weight, and reason that yeah, that would hurt, even if it is made of neoprene as opposed to metal.

After a few moments of just standing in wait while watching him, Seungcheol straightens up with his hands on the tops of his thighs to look at you. Though he quickly looks away and removes his hoodie to toss at you.

“Please put that on for my sanity,” he pleads awkwardly.

“You’re red again,” you comment while you do as he asked and pull on his hoodie to zip up. It stops at your mid-thigh and past your hands. “This is a safety hazard, surely.”

Seungcheol looks at you as you flap the sleeves. His pinched expression smooths out and a gentle smile turns up the corners of his mouth. “A cute one at least.”

“I don’t think the cuteness of a hazard makes it any better, Seungcheol,” you point out, looking at him flatly.

He laughs softly and gets up to step closer to you and picks up one of your arms. “No, but it’s what we’re dealing with,” he reasons as he folds up the sleeve to the middle of your forearm to free your hand, then swaps to repeat on your other arm. You quietly watch him work, unaware that his gaze isn’t even on the material he’s handling but instead glued to your curious expression while his own is nothing but fond.

After an hour of Seungcheol refusing to let you do anything too arduous, he declares the work out over and guides you through a cool down that doesn’t do much to deter the rabbiting of your heart when the attractive man is still insisting on physically guiding you.

For the past hour, Seungcheol has been right by your side; manually adjusting you with his hands on your body and intense eyes tracking your form to make sure that you’re not about to hurt yourself by positioning yourself wrong. You’ve tried to tell him that you know how to do it all properly, you did more taxing exercises than this daily back when you were a Vulture, yet the stubborn ass doesn’t accept your words and reminds you that you’re months out of practice, before moving you into the next exercise.

To your relief, he deems you sufficiently cooled down, despite your pink cheeks, and lets you get up and grab a bottle of water from the drinks fridge to start swallowing the contents down.

“Aren’t you going to work out?” You ask a few seconds later as you watch him tidy up from a safe distance out of his reach.

You’re not an idiot, you know that Seungcheol is a beautiful man; you’ve known that from before you even met and simply had the knowledge confirmed the first time you laid eyes him in person. But you’ve met plenty of attractive men in your life and you’ve never felt your heart race just because their hands gently correct your posture, or their eyes remain focused on you intensely with nothing inappropriate in the dark shine.

That probably makes it even worse; that Seungcheol wasn’t even checking you out or trying to cop a feel. He was genuinely just trying to help and get you healthy again, like he always does.

Maybe his touch might’ve lingered a few times, but you refuse to assume that it was him wanting to touch you and not just that your perceptions of what a reasonable time frame is, differs from his own. You don’t want to think anything inappropriate of the man who has been nothing but kind and understanding to you, you don’t want to cross any boundaries even in your mind.

So even though this is the first time you’ve genuinely felt yourself gain even a little attraction to anyone, you push it down and do your best to ignore the way it’s impossible to miss his bulging arms in the short sleeves of his compression shirt and the way it makes heat tingle in your lower stomach.

“Hm?” Seungcheol replies, looking over at you briefly, then back to stacking the colourful dumbbells on a little rack that doesn’t match the rest of the black and silver equipment.

Suddenly, you wonder if he had bought more than just the clothes for you today while you thought he was out working. It doesn’t help your newfound attraction in the man to think about it; that he really did go out of his way purely for you, so you push that thought aside too.

“Aren’t you going to work out?” You repeat your question.

“I work out in the mornings.”

“Then you wore that just to show off,” you deduce and bite back a laugh as Seungcheol almost trips on the resistance band he’s picking up. “You’re very clumsy for a legendary Choi Centaur.”

“I’m not!” He argues, turning away in a manner you can only describe as sulky, to stalk over to the unit and shove the bands in the containers.

“You dropped a dumbbell on your foot and just almost tripped on a resistance band.”

“Not my fault,” he mumbles poutily and picks up the last item to put away. “Grab your stuff so we can go get a snack. Then you can change, and we can go back to my office and work on the plan.”

“Yes, sir.”

Seungcheol trips over his own slippers.

For the past few weeks, Seungcheol has allowed you to leave the manor grounds to go out into the middle wall where the Centaurs mostly work from and keep supplies, protected by the two walls around the ring of warehouses and buildings.

At first, he had shown you around with the intention of letting you know how he runs things and what he has at his fingertips so that you can accurately make suggestions of how he can take apart your father’s gang. 

But then once you entered the garage where the head mechanic was swearing at his team for messing up a basic task again, and the short man had rhetorically asked a question about which tool to use for a task, you had answered. More to yourself, but Seungcheol heard and called the head mechanic over.

When Seungcheol queried the mechanic about what the correct tool was, Jihoon had responded with a quip about his team not even knowing basic mechanical skills despite knowing much more complex stuff, and then the tool name. Seungcheol had pretty much handed you over to the mechanic then and there, wished you luck with Jihoon’s temper, then left the pair of you to figure out where to go from there.

Judging by the way Seungcheol grumbles when you turn up late to your workouts and meetings after being introduced to Jihoon, you don’t think Seungcheol intended for you and Jihoon to become friends.

After that first meeting, Jihoon often calls you out to the garage to assist him; he says he prefers your straightforward approach and focus than his team’s puttering, and you enjoy the time with the mechanic too much to care about Seungcheol’s grumping.

Your father never really allowed you to do stereotypically masculine things such as getting your hands dirty or even learning theoretical knowledge on how cars work; though you still did your own research and hungrily consumed every drop of information you could. So being able to finally scratch that curious itch about mechanics makes something within you brighten and lighten, which means as far as you’re aware, Seungcheol can sulk all he wants; you’re never going to turn down Jihoon when he asks for your assistance or offers to let you watch and learn.

“What the fuck are you doing with that?!” Jihoon yells when he notices one of his mechanics touching Seungcheol’s favourite motorbike from across the garage to where the two of you are sitting on the ground. There’s an engine sitting on a mat in front of you so that he can more accurately explain how it all works while pointing out the different parts, for today’s lesson.

The two men abruptly back away from the motorbike but Jihoon is already getting up to stalk over and grab a rag to whip it at them harshly. Only when they apologise and repeatedly bow rapidly does he tell them to get lost and then turn to buff out their greasy fingerprints from the sleek, cherry red paint job, grumbling under his breath as he goes.

Now that Jihoon is across the garage and you’re not listening to him talking, you can hear a couple of the mechanics talking between themselves a little behind you at the car they’re working on. You don’t really pay any attention though until you hear “the kid” and tilt your head ever so slightly to focus on their low voices and spy on them from your peripheral.

“Seriously, should just get rid of him, I ain’t gonna bow to a retard when the boss dies,” one grunts. Your jaw immediately clenches, and anger starts to simmer in your veins.

“Shut up, man, you can’t say shit like that,” the other warns and to your relief, he actually sounds like he’s truly scolding the man and not just trying to prevent him getting in trouble.

“Why not?” The first man asks with a scoff. “Who’s gonna stop me? Boss ain’t here, Woozi’s across the garage and I doubt that dumb bitch is even listening.”

“Fuck off, she’s smarter than you. She caught your mistake yesterday; that’s the only reason you’re calling her names. Well, that and she’s not interested in you, got your back up, huh?”

“Reckon she’s fucking the boss; that’s the only reason she’s here.” He grunts as he adjusts something under the bonnet.

“None of our business.”

“Whatever, just as long as she don’t pop out another retard like that annoying fucking kid.”

That’s as much as you can handle.

You get up and turn to approach. Both men are entirely unaware of your presence until you grab the back of the second man’s overalls to yank him out of the way. He stumbles back with a yelp and the first man looks over curiously, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. His eyes fly wide in panicked shock when you knock down the prop holding the bonnet up and then pull it down harshly onto him with a resounding thud while he screams in pain.

“What the fuck?!” Jihoon exclaims and runs over to pull you back and lift the bonnet up to free the man, who immediately slinks to the floor while writhing in pain with his hands on his back. “Why the fuck did you do that, Pearl?!” Jihoon yells, turning burning eyes on you.

“He was shit talking Solie,” you answer, glaring at the man.

Immediately, Jihoon’s anger at you is directed to the man. “What?” He hisses.

“She-she’s lying!” The man wails. “C-crazy bitch!”

Jihoon steps closer and shoves the man over onto his front with his foot before pressing it down on the impact spot from the edge of the bonnet, where the man is gripping, making him scream in pain. “Don’t you fucking dare call her that,” Jihoon warns lowly and takes his phone from his pocket. “Coups will want to deal with this personally.”

“No, no, p-please, Woozi,” the man pleads through sobs while trying to remove Jihoon’s foot from his back. Jihoon just pushes down harder until there’s an audible crack, making the man wail louder, as he lifts his ringing phone to his ear.

It only takes a few rings for the call to be picked up, then Jihoon speaks. “Hey, Coups, you’re gonna wanna come here, got something for you to handle.” That’s all he says before waiting a second for a response then he hangs up and tucks his phone back into his overalls pocket. “Clear the garage,” Jihoon orders, looking over at the second man, who simply nods before rushing off to tell all of the other mechanics to make themselves scarce.

“Won’t he try to run?” You comment when Jihoon moves away from the man to inspect the slightly dented bonnet.

“Not if he knows what’s good for him,” Jihoon replies with a shrug then looks at you with a little smirk. “But also judging by the fact this is bent; I think you slammed it on him hard enough that moving that much is going to be too fucking painful. Didn’t know you had it in you, Pearl.”

“Say what you want about me, I don’t care, but talk about an innocent kid like that, especially Solie, I’m not going to let that go.”

“Good, proves you’re one of us, unlike that piece of shit.” Jihoon glares at the sobbing man on the floor. He’s still laid crying on his stomach as if he’s either given up trying to move or simply can’t. 

It’s almost ten minutes before Seungcheol arrives from around the other side of the middle wall where he had been meeting new recruits with Mingyu, Soonyoung and Wonwoo.

Wonwoo is the man in charge of organising all of Seungcheol’s men while Soonyoung is in charge of training them; something that still surprises you based on how innocent and upbeat Soonyoung always seems in the manor. You’ve never seen him outside of the inner wall, but you can only imagine he’s a completely different man.

In fact, you think the only man who is pretty much the same in the manor and out here is Jihoon. Sure, he plays with Hansol and Chan, and he laughs with everyone in the house a lot more than out here, but he is still to the point and no nonsense in both places. You like that about him; his consistency and that there’s no pointless guessing with him. You always know what he wants and expects because he’s straightforward about it.

Seungcheol enters the garage alone with a dark, intimidating scowl already on his face knowing that something has to have gone wrong for Jihoon of all people to call him away from work. “What happened?”

“This fuckwit decided to shit talk your son,” Jihoon informs bluntly, arms crossed over his chest casually where he’s leaning against the car beside the bonnet, which no longer closes properly.

“I-I didn’t,” the man on the floor sobs. “P-please.”

“Woozi doesn’t fuck around when it comes to family,” Seungcheol growls while turning the man over onto his back before yanking him up from the ground by the front of his overalls, making him scream in pain. “What the fuck have you done to him already to make him like this?” Seungcheol wonders, looking over at Jihoon, then shaking the man pointedly to make him cry out again without moving his lower body at all, only his arms that scramble to grip Seungcheol and try to fruitlessly pry his strong grip away.

“Pearl slammed the bonnet on him,” Jihoon smirks, motioning to the dent at his side.

Seungcheol looks over at you. “You paralysed him?”

“That was likely a joint effort, Woozi stood on his back,” you reply rationally. “He was moving before then.”

“Good point,” Jihoon agrees. “We both had a part in it.”

“Only been out here for two weeks and you’re already teaming up to fuck up people’s lives,” Seungcheol mutters, giving the pair of you a look as if he’s not sure he quite approves of this new teamwork, yet he doesn’t say anything more and instead looks back at the man in his hold. “Alright, they started it but I’m going to finish it.”

“Please don’t kill me,” the man begs, practically choking out the words.

“Oh, that would be too kind, I want you to live and suffer,” Seungcheol replies sweetly and drops the man to the floor abruptly, earning echoed screams of pain. “Sweetheart, you should go wait outside.”

“Why?” You question as you watch Seungcheol drag the man over to the drain before lowering to his knees and pulling a butterfly knife from his pocket while the man whimpers and continuously begs for mercy.

“Because this isn’t going to be pretty.”

“As if I’m innocent,” you remind with a scoff while folding your arms over your chest.

Seungcheol lets out a sigh then motions to the man as Jihoon stops behind him with a blow torch, a small piece of flat metal and a pair of heat safe gloves. Jihoon nods and kneels down to make sure the man stays in place while Seungcheol gets up and walks over to you.

Silently, he takes your hand and leads you further away from the pair to the midpoint between them and the exit. There, he turns you to face him while all but whispering your name. “Please, go outside; I don’t want you to see me like this,” he requests softly, giving you such an earnest, pleading look that you nod in agreement before you fully register your own decision. He lets out a relieved breath and cups your cheek with a grateful little smile before letting you go and stalking back over to Jihoon and the sobbing man, stern expression returning.

Confusedly, you exit the garage and close the door firmly before moving to sit on the bonnet of Seungcheol’s car in wait.

Although there is plenty of noise around you from the nearby buildings and people milling around, you can still hear the agonised screams coming from within the garage a minute later.

It doesn’t last long before you hear nothing more from within the garage.

You’re only outside for a few minutes before Seungcheol exits while wiping his bloodied hands on a rag. Thanks to the fact he had removed his jacket once you left the garage to not get it dirty, his arms are exposed in his short-sleeved t-shirt, and you can see more blood splashed up his forearms.

“That was quick,” you comment as he approaches you and shrugs his jacket from where it’s slung over his shoulder, onto the bonnet at your side while still wiping at his hands.

“He passed out part way,” he explains simply.  

“What did you do to him?”

“I already told you that I don’t want you to see me like that.”

“I’m not seeing, you’re telling.”

“Sweetheart,” he sighs and looks up at you instead of his hands. You can see specks of blood on his jaw and throat that you know he’ll miss with the rag; he might not even know more than his hands and arms are dirty.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask Jihoon.”

“Why are you so fucking interested?”

“I just want to know what you did; he deserves to suffer after what he said.”

Seungcheol stares at you for a moment before responding. “What did he say exactly, sweetheart?”

“Tell me what you were doing, and I’ll tell you what he said.”

He makes a frustrated sound yet relents. “I was cutting out his fucking tongue, happy?”

“Did you finish?”

“What?”

“You said he passed out; did you stop then or finish the job?”

“Of course, I fucking finished the job,” he grunts and looks down to start scrubbing at his arm harshly. “Now tell me what the fuck that piece of shit said about my son.”

“He called him a retard. Twice,” you inform, taking the rag from Seungcheol’s hand as he freezes, so that you can wipe at his skin with the too dry material much more gently than he had been.

“I should kill him,” he growls.

“No,” you argue levelly and gently tilt his head up so that he’s looking at you instead of burning holes into his own arm with his dangerous glare.

“He fucking-”

“Death would be too easy, right?” You remind and cup his cheek to tug him closer, until he’s standing between your knees, and you can gently start wiping away the speckles on his jaw. “I don’t know if he will recover from the back injury, but if so, it will take a long time. And I know from experience that a person with their tongue missing, even only a small part of it, will suffer, often with phantom pains. Death would be too easy.”

Seungcheol stares at you for a few minutes as your tender touch soothes him, even if your only intention is to clean him and not calm his anger, but it does. When he tilts into your palm, you look up into his eyes and find him looking at you in a way that makes your heart flutter.

“Death would be too easy,” he agrees quietly. “Thank you.”

“You can’t see yourself, you always miss your neck,” you point out, focusing back on wiping down his skin as best as you can with the stained rag.

“I didn’t mean that, though yes, thank you for always cleaning up where I miss.”

“Mm, don’t want the boys seeing that.”

“No, we don’t,” he agrees and straightens up when you remove your hand so that you can clean that side of his face too. “I meant for standing up for Hansol, thank you; for having my family’s back.”

“Of course, you took me and my brother in, your family has accepted mine and that…well it’s more than I’ve ever had. I’m endlessly grateful to you, Seungcheol, and to Hansol for taking Chan under his wing and being so wonderful to him. I’d do anything for you both, as long as it doesn’t negatively impact Chan, of course.”

“I’d never want you to do anything that does,” he promises. “I won’t ever put you in a dangerous position willingly and I’d tear the city apart to hurt anyone that tries to hurt you.”

You look at him with brows furrowed questioningly. “Why? I’m not your family or inner circle.”

“You really think that?” He huffs a disbelieving laugh. “Sweetheart, you’re not just in the house because I want to keep your brother safe and with Hansol. You’ve proven yourself over and over again the past almost three months. You’ve given me all the information you have on the Vulture and his fucked-up cronies and helped me plan every move we’ve made so far. I’ve been trying to chip away at that gang for years but never had the chance because no-one we’ve caught fucking talks. I’ll give ‘em that, they know how to keep their mouths shut fucking tight.”

“That’s the torture resistance training,” you state matter-of-factly.

“What?” Seungcheol mutters. “Torture resistance training? Like they’ve been tortured so they know how to keep quiet?” You nod in confirmation. “Did…did you go through that too?”

“Yeah, we all do before getting our brands.”

“Fuck, I can’t believe he forced his daughter to go through torture like that.”

“You don’t know the half of what that man is capable of, Seungcheol,” you reason, before looking down at his arms and frowning. “I think you need water to clean up properly; this rag is too covered in blood now.”

“There’s wipes in the glovebox,” he motions to the car, so you nudge him back to give you space to slide off the bonnet and walk around, open the car, and reach inside with your hand not smeared in blood to grab the packet of wet wipes. They’re the same brand as the ones placed all over the manor for when Hansol, and now Chan, need to be cleaned without sending them to the bathroom to wash their hands and face.

Something about cleaning the blood from the man’s neck with the wipes from the packet with cartoon dinosaurs on it, makes you start to giggle.

Seungcheol watches you amusedly, and very bewildered, for a few seconds before questioning you. “What’s funny?”

“Just cleaning up the big bad Choi Centaur boss with wipes embossed with cute dinosaurs.”

“Oh,” he mutters, then chuckles. “I’ve never thought about it before, but I guess that is pretty funny. Hansol really likes these ones; they’re not too wet without drying like right away, and they don’t smell of anything.”

“Mm, they’re good ones, Chan likes them too. He never usually likes wet wipes but he’s fine with these; he says they’re soft.”

“They are, but you’re also just really gentle. Hard to imagine the woman who just slammed a man in a car and broke his back is this…tender.”

“Only to those who deserve it.”

“I don’t deserve it.”

You land a stern look on him. “Don’t bullshit me, Choi Seungcheol, you deserve to be cared for and treated tenderly. You’re not a truly bad man. You have done a lot of fucked up shit and will continue to, so your soul isn’t ever going to be pure, but your heart is.”

You watch as a barrage of emotions flicker over Seungcheol’s face, eyes darting between your own as he searches for any hint of uncertainty, yet when he finds none, he presses his lips together and inhales slowly and deeply.

When he lets the breath out, it’s a little shaky. “I think- I think if anyone else tried to say that to me, I wouldn’t believe them,” he admits quietly, voice tinged with emotion and a little weak in places as if your honesty has sucked the strength from his very core. “But I trust you, with everything in me and that- that’s kind of fucking terrifying, if I’m honest with you.”

“I can imagine you don’t trust easily, being who you are.”

“No, I really fucking don’t,” he lets out a broken little laugh before stepping closer to remove the packet from your left hand and wipe from your right hand to toss them onto the car behind you so that he can pull you into his arms in an embrace so warm despite the man only wearing a t-shirt on his torso in the early spring weather. “You are one of the most important people to me, sweetheart, so please don’t ever do anything to break my trust. I don’t think I could come back from a betrayal by you of all people.”

“Ditto,” is your simple response against his shoulder, making him laugh slightly.

He holds you a moment longer then lets you go. “Come on, I’m done with work for the day.”

“It’s not even lunch time.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” he replies, grabbing everything from the bonnet to toss onto the backseat of the car carelessly. “Come on, I want to spend the rest of the day with you and the boys.”

“Oh!” You light up and rush to get into the passenger seat, excited to spend time with your favourite three people in the world.

Even though you’ve barely entered the house, you can hear Chan’s distressed wailing easily. A huge part of you wants to sprint straight to him so that you can soothe him and fix whatever the issue is, but you know the difference between his cries, and this isn’t a pained one.

Knowing that your brother isn’t hurt, you manage to keep your cool long enough to remove your boots at Seungcheol’s side and step out of your dirty overalls to toss into the laundry room. It leaves you in the exercise leggings Seungcheol had brought you, which you have actually gained quite fond of even if you only wear them under your overalls, and an oversized t-shirt you think might be Mingyu’s. Then you rush towards the playroom upstairs with Seungcheol right on your heels.

You don’t realise that his eyes are glued to your ass dumbly as he follows a few steps behind you up the stairs, until he tries to stand on a step that doesn’t exist at the top having not been paying attention, and he falls forward right into you, taking you both down to the floor with a loud thump.

“What the fuck, Seungcheol?” You grunt, shoving him off of you to turn over and look at him incredulously. 

“Sorry, sorry.” He’s blushing embarrassedly and not looking at you as he scrambles to his feet and helps you up.

“What was that?” Junhui calls from the bottom of the stairs.

“Just fell, it’s fine!” Seungcheol returns.

“You fell? You never fall.” The cook mumbles away as he wanders back to his domain to work on lunch.

“How have you hidden how clumsy you are from them all?” You wonder.

“I’m not clumsy,” Seungcheol defends, doing his best not to pout as he turns you around and walks you to the playroom with his hands on your shoulders.

As soon as you step into the large room, you understand the issue.

Over in the crafts corner, Seungkwan is trying to soothe your brother where he’s laid on the floor kicking and screaming with paint on his raised hand, while Hansol watches with a concerned frown.

Silently, you grab the wipes from the shelf and walk over to begin cleaning at Chan’s skin. He calms as he feels the paint being washed from his hands.

“Oh, it’s the paint,” Seungkwan realises with a soft exhale.

“Mm, he doesn’t like slimy textures,” you inform.

“I know he doesn’t like actual slime, but we’ve never tried paints, so I didn’t realise it counts.”

“He likes painting but it’s better with those paint sticks so there’s less chance of getting on his skin.”

“Ah, I’ll order some,” Seungkwan says and finally notices Seungcheol standing a little behind you. “Oh, Coups, you’re back early for lunch today.”

“Mm, decided to give myself the rest of the day off, which means you get it off too and we’ll take over, once we’ve both showered, that is.” He motions between himself and you.

“Both showered?” Seungkwan smirks at his boss, who scowls in return, making the younger snigger. “Alright, alright, you two can take over after you’ve showered.”

“Separately,” Seungcheol adds, making you look at him curiously and notice how he’s almost glaring at Seungkwan, who you find grinning when you look at him. You don’t quite understand what’s going on between the pair right now, though quickly decide to ignore it and instead turn back to finish cleaning up your brother.

“Yeah? Then why are you still standing there as if you’re waiting to go together? Your rooms are on opposite ends of the floor.”

“Shut up. I’ll be back quickly.”

“You’re going to come paint with me, daddy?” Hansol asks, then begins to bounce excitedly when his father nods in confirmation; it makes Seungcheol’s ire melt away and a smile lifts his features seeing how happy his son is to spend time together.

“I’ll be right back, ‘kay, bud?”

“Kay!” Hansol agrees and turns to hop back to his easel and splat his hand into the paint tray to smear colours over his paper, turning it an even murkier brown than his efforts already have.

Seungcheol pulls a slight face at the mess his son is making, knowing he’s going to have to try and get him to paint a legible picture, or get equally as messy himself, before turning and leaving while mentally reminding himself to not wear clothes he wants to keep paint free.

Once you’ve got Chan cleaned up and back on his feet, he glares distrustfully at Seungkwan when the man tries to encourage him back to his own easel.

“We can be extra careful now that I know you don’t like how paint feels, Squirt,” Seungkwan promises, yet Chan steps closer to you as if you’re going to protect him from the mean man and his slimy paints.

“Why don’t you sit and watch Solie paint for now and when I’m back, we’ll try it together, hm?” You say to Chan softly while patting his hips gently in encouragement. He looks at you. “We can paint the sea, how about that? With some nice blues and greens and when it’s dry, we can display it in our room, yeah?” Chan looks much more enthusiastic now that you’ve mentioned the sea and nods. “Okay, good, you sit down and watch, I’ll be back soon, okay?” Another nod before he toddles over to sit on the floor near his own easel yet watches Hansol.

“One day I’ll remember the sea is his weakness,” Seungkwan muses. You laugh softly and get up. “Enjoy your shower, Pearl!” He sing-songs as you leave the room, earning a puzzled look from you that he just giggles at before turning and jolting forward to stop Hansol squirting red paint directly from the bottle onto his picture.

By the time you’re back in the playroom, Seungcheol is already present and to your surprise, he’s not kneeling with his son, who is on brown mess number four, but behind Chan. Your brother is standing with his back to Seungcheol’s chest and his tiny hand in the man’s while Seungcheol carefully helps Chan brush blue over his paper, only a little paint on his brush at a time to minimise the risk of paint splattering onto Chan’s skin.

Seungkwan is nowhere to be seen, and you think it’s the first time you’ve seen Seungcheol alone with both boys, but you really don’t mind that the nanny left. Although Seungcheol hasn’t spent anywhere near as much time with Chan, you trust him entirely with your brother.

Seungcheol looks at you when you near them. “Hope you don’t mind I started Squirt off without you, Kwan said you plan to paint the sea with him.”

“Not at all, you’re doing a great job together,” you enthuse and brush back Chan’s hair from his eyes. He looks at you with a proud grin that makes you smile back. “How about you keep painting, and I’ll see if Solie wants to expand his palette past brown?”

“Is that okay, Squirt?” Seungcheol asks Chan softly. “That I stay with you?” Chan thinks about it for a second while glancing at the man behind him yet nods as soon as he looks at their progress in front of them. It makes Seungcheol beam at the quiet boy accepting his assistance despite you being right by his side and available to help. “Great, I’m really enjoying painting with you, Squirt, it’s really nice.” Seungcheol continues to talk softly to Chan while you walk over and kneel down beside where Hansol stands.

“So, what are we doing here, Sol?” You wonder.

“I want to make a rainbow, but it keeps going brown,” Hansol admits with a disappointed sigh. “Uncle Kwan doesn’t understand and keeps drawing a rainbow for me to paint over but it’s not what I want.”

“You want it all swirled together?”

“Yeah!” Hansol nods. “But it goes brown every time.” The sigh he lets out is world weary verging on frustrated. “I don’t understand, Aunt Pearl.”

It’s the first time Hansol has called you aunt, and it throws you off for a moment. You can’t help but glance over your shoulder to see if Seungcheol heard, but he’s focused on what he’s doing, and you don’t want to distract him from Chan, so you turn back to Hansol. “If you over blend, it’ll go brown; it’s what happens when you mix all the colours together, basically.”

“Oh. So, I can’t make a swirly rainbow?” Hansol pouts at you sadly. “I wanted to make it for Uncle Gyu for his gift.”

“Gift?”

“Mm, it’s his birthday today.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that” you admit.

“He doesn’t like presents other than things I make.”

“Ah, I see.”

“And Squirt. I asked Uncle Gyu in secret, and he said he would love a picture from Squirt too if he wants to make him one, so we been trying. But” he sighs heavily and looks back at his brown, almost dripping paper. “It’s all crap.”

“Hansol!” Seungcheol scolds, proving that he has been listening, even if not consciously, so he must’ve heard his son call you aunt and just not cared. It makes you feel like they really have accepted you into the family the group has here, and your heart warms in your chest.

“What?!” Hansol replies, looking at his dad with big, genuinely innocent eyes. “At least I didn’t say shit!” You can’t help it, you start to laugh, making Hansol giggle proudly while Seungcheol sighs exasperatedly behind you.

“Please don’t laugh, Pearl, now he’s going to think it’s funny to swear and I don’t want him picking up that bad habit. Especially so young,” Seungcheol reasons.

“You’re right, you’re right,” you concede, trying to stop your laughter, though a few giggles still slip through while Hansol continues to grin at you with sparkling eyes. “Swearing is bad, Solie, you’re far too young to have the habit. At least wait until you’re ten.”

“Pearl!” Seungcheol exclaims, making you and Hansol burst into giggles while the man dramatically lets out a breath then turns his attention solely to Chan. “You’re the only one I can rely on to be good mannered, Squirt. Don’t take after your sister and Hansol.” Chan blinks at Seungcheol a few times then turns back to his painting with a little urging sound while moving their connected hands back to the paper. “Okay,” Seungcheol chuckles softly. “We’ll focus on our masterpiece and those delinquents can do their own thing.”

“Alright,” you start when you’ve stopped laughing and moved closer to Hansol. “Let’s clean all this up so we can start fresh and make Uncle Gyu the best swirly rainbow he’s ever seen.”

“Hell yeah!” Hansol cheers. Seungcheol sighs.

“Hey,” Jisoo greets softly as he sits at your side on the bench at the side of the playground, where you’re watching Seungcheol and the two boys play after lunch.

They’re probably burning off all the calories they consumed not even twenty minutes ago, but you don’t mind. The three look so happy that you know Junhui won’t even mind having to make them snacks so soon after lunch.

“Hi,” you respond, smiling at the man a little before looking forward again.

He doesn’t say anything more, just watches the three with something a little longing in his eyes. You don’t know Jisoo that well; he’s probably around the manor the least as one of the leading paediatric doctors at the busiest public hospital in the area, while also being at Seungcheol’s beck and call as Centaur’s secret private doctor. Jisoo is always busy, but when you get the chance to see him, you often find him quietly watching Hansol with this same look in his eyes.

Although it’s not really your place, you can’t help but let your curiosity win out. “Do you want your own?” You wonder, glancing between the man on your left and the three darting around the apparatus with their feet slapping over the rubber tarmac rapidly and laughter in the air.

“Hm?” Jisoo hums questioning while looking at you, so you motion over to the three.

“Kids, I’ve noticed you look at Hansol that way a lot.”

“Oh, I didn’t realise I’m that obvious.” He chuckles and lets his gaze find the seven-year-old again, so you copy. “I don’t necessarily want my own, no.”

“Oh.”

“Do you know about Hansol’s mother?”

That makes you look back at him intrigued. “No, nobody has ever mentioned her.”

“She was my best friend. We came here together from LA almost ten years ago. She wanted to study Korean cuisine; she loved to cook and wanted to open her own restaurant and I…I was so in love with her that I didn’t want to be without her, so I applied to study medicine here and as soon as I got accepted, we came over.”

“Oh…I assume you didn’t get together.”

“No,” he smiles at you a little then turns back to watch the three play and you turn too, figuring you’ve probably been staring at him for too long, especially for such a personal topic. “I wasn’t brave enough to ever tell her how I felt and at the time, I always assumed she didn’t know. But I learned with time that she always knew, just never cared.”

“That doesn’t sound like you were her best friend, even if she was yours.”

Jisoo lets out a short, soft laugh. “You’re right; I was just so infatuated that I didn’t realise that it was always me making the effort and caring more.”

“What a bitch.”

“Mm, she was, but you know what they say about hindsight.”

“No?” You look at him confusedly and seeing you turn to him in his periphery, he looks at you.

“Hindsight is 20/20.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that everything is clearer after the fact. Like 20/20 vision.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” you murmur and turn back around. He does the same. “How did she become, well, Hansol’s mother?”

“She worked at a restaurant Coups frequented, and they hit it off. I tried to keep her away from him; I knew he was bad news just from the like, aura or whatever but she was into it. Which shouldn’t have surprised me; she had terrible taste in guys in high school; always went for assholes.”

“Seungcheol isn’t an asshole.”

“No, he’s not, but I didn’t know that. I never gave him the chance and treated him harshly and dismissively. He just mirrored it back to me and often teased me by silently rubbing it in my face that he had her; putting his hands all over her, kissing her way too inappropriately for public settings.” He chuckles. “And again, I completely missed that she clearly knew what he was doing and why and always went along with a pleased giggle. I just thought she was giggling because she liked it, not that she liked flaunting that she was fucking someone that wasn’t me.”

“She just wanted your attention,” you understand, and he hums in confirmation. “And then I assume she got pregnant along there.”

“Yeah. Coups put her up in a safe house to protect her and keep the baby secret and she played along; fooled us both that she wanted it and wanted to marry him when he asked. But then two months after Hansol was born, she left. Confessed she never wanted to have the baby but doesn’t believe in abortion, so she played along; let Coups think she loved him while planning to leave the entire time.”

“She played you both?” You gawp at him, and he just nods in confirmation. “I think I hate her.”

Jisoo laughs and looks at you. “I know you say that for Coup’s benefit, but I’m taking it as you’re on my side too.”

“I am,” you assure without hesitation, making his eyebrows lift slightly in surprise. “I don’t really know you, but you seem like a nice guy, sweet; you don’t deserve to be treated so poorly. I hope that’s where you realised what a bitch she is and kicked her aside.”

“I wish I had been that smart,” he gives you a sad little smile. “I asked her to stay with me because I loved her and couldn’t live without her. I was in the middle of my studying and couldn’t leave. My family put all they had into my education, and I couldn’t disappoint them by wasting their money to follow her back to LA. I even said I’d return with her the second I could get a transfer, but she refused no matter how much I cried and begged. She didn’t even look upset to see me so broken and it still took me weeks of barely functioning in a country with no-one by my side before I accepted the truth.”

“That she’s a giant bitch.”

Jisoo nods. “That she’s a giant bitch,” he confirms, making you smile, which he returns before you both look back at the three. “I didn’t see Hansol for a few years until he was rushed into the ER while I was on rotation, and he was suffering his first allergic reaction. That was when I finally realised that Coups is not a bad guy; when I saw him stay beside Hansol’s bedside all through the night without rest and refused to take his son away until he had been triple checked over. I’ve stuck around since, but sometimes when I look at Hansol, I see her and it hurts, even now.”

“That fucking sucks.”

Jisoo chokes out a laugh at your response, though makes a noise of agreement. “Yeah, it does fucking suck. But I love that boy and I’m so grateful that Coups lets me be his godfather and uncle and live under the same roof despite it all.”

“He’s a good man.”

“He really is. You’re good for him, you know?”

“What?” You give him a bewildered look. “How?”

“He’s always been a great dad; I truly couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to. I’ve never seen a parent love their child so fiercely, but up until the past few months, he hasn’t been in the house as much. He gets home a lot earlier now, puts Hansol to bed pretty much every night and it’s done them both the world of good. Hansol’s a generally happy kid, but he used to have a lot of days where he was quiet and withdrawn because he missed his dad; cried for hours, but now he doesn’t get the chance to miss him.”

“Oh, that’s good then, I’m glad I can apparently do that.”

“Me too. He’s happier too, Coups, I mean. I don’t know what you’ve been doing but keep it up. A happy boss means we’re all happier,” he jokes and pats your hand on your thigh before he gets up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ve got a late surgery tonight.”

“Oh, I hope it goes well.”

“Thank you, Pearl, I hope it does too.” He smiles at you gratefully before walking off inside.

A few minutes later, Chan rushes over to you with his hands clasped in front of his crotch. “Wee,” he declares, so you get up and take him to the closest bathroom so that he can use the toilet. “Per,” he calls as he sits on the toilet, swinging his legs while you wait just outside of the cracked open door to give him privacy to do his business.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask, peering over at him.

“I like Sunny,” he informs simply, making you smile knowing exactly who he means for the fact he calls one person Sunny due to struggling to say his name.

“You like Seungcheol?” He nods in confirmation. “Me too, Squirt.”

“Sunny like us too?”

“Yeah, he likes us too.”

“And Solie?”

“Solie likes us, yeah.”

“I like Solie lots.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

He wiggles off of the toilet when he’s done, so you turn back around and wait for him to finish the routine, smiling as he sings to himself while washing his hands to make sure he washes them for a sufficient amount of time.

When you hear him nearing, you push off of the doorframe to give him space to exit the bathroom without opening the door wider. Silently, he takes your hand and the two of you walk to the backdoor to put your boots back on.

“Per?” Chan asks when you’re tying your own boots while he waits with his own already zipped up securely. You hum questioningly. “I sleepover Solie?”

You look at your brother in surprise. “You want to have a sleepover with Solie?”

“Solie said we sleep in his bed and watch Nemo.”

“Oh,” you smile in understanding, knowing that mentioning Chan’s favourite movie is a very persuasive way to get the six-year-old to agree to almost anything. “I think it would be nice for you to have your first sleepover with someone other than me.”

“Oh, no Per?”

“No, baby, just you and Solie.” He frowns uncertainly. “I can see if there is a room I can stay in near to Solie’s bedroom, so I’ll be close by.”

“Per stay close to Squirt.”

“You’ll be safe even if I’m not there, we’re safe here, aren’t we?”

“Safe with Sunny.”

“Yeah, baby, we’re safe with Sunny.”

“I like Sunny.” You can’t help but laugh softly before taking his hand and going outside.

Seungcheol is sprawled over the bench catching his breath while his son bounces away on the trampoline, higher than he ever does with Chan knowing that the younger doesn’t like anything but essentially bobbing on the trampoline.

“Tired out?” You tease as you lean on the back of the bench and peer down at Seungcheol while Chan happily rushes over to stand in wait at the side of the trampoline for Hansol, before they both run to the slides; Chan’s favourite playground activity and one Hansol is always more than willing to indulge his best friend with, no matter how many times they go up and down.

“I think I’m officially getting old, sweetheart,” Seungcheol declares, making you laugh before you circle around the bench. “Just sit on me, I’m too tired to move.”

With a shrug, you sit on his thighs sideways with your feet just touching the ground, and he gawps at you. “You told me to,” you reason.

“I didn’t expect you actually would.”

“Oh, is this one of those things where people say things they don’t actually mean for some bizarre fucking reason?” You mutter and start to get up, but Seungcheol abruptly sits up and winds his arm around your waist to keep you on his lap.

“My lap is always available for you,” he declares.

“It’s a sturdy lap,” you comment and pat the side of his thigh between the gap in your own, making him chuckle. He swings his legs around to plant his feet on the floor while turning you until your back is against his chest and his chin is on your shoulder.

You’ve not been held like this in a long time, and even then, it hadn’t made your stomach flutter with butterflies, just twist with disgust at the touch of the men you had to lure. There wasn’t a choice but to let those men touch you back then, but you know that Seungcheol would let you go without complaint if you said you didn’t want him to touch you.

That security is probably why you lean back against his chest and let your arms lay over his, other than your rapidly growing feelings for the man, of course. Those definitely influence your decision to get comfortable in his hold and hope that he can’t feel the way your heart skips a beat or two when he tightens his grasp on you to hold you even closer.

For a little while, you sit in a peaceful quiet, contently watching the two boys make laps with the slides and smiling hearing them giggling away together happily.

Then, you remember what Chan had said and figure this is a good time to bring it up. “Chan said Solie asked him to have a sleepover,” you inform.

“Oh, yeah, he’s been bugging me to let it happen as if I would ever say no. I just kept saying it’s not my decision but Squirt’s and somehow Sol took that as I haven’t said yes and kept asking until I agreed this morning.”

“You hadn’t. If you just said that he needs to ask Chan, then you hadn’t actually given him explicit permission so asking Chan wouldn’t make logical sense until he knows for certain that you’re okay with it.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of it like that. Alright, I see the point and will try to remember to be more explicit in the future.”

“And here I thought you don’t want him swearing,” you joke, then start to giggle when he thunks his head against yours in playful scolding.

“Does Chan want to have a sleepover?”

“He wants to try, I think, especially as Solie said they can watch Nemo.”

“Ah, the way to the little turtle’s heart,” Seungcheol replies with an understanding hum.

“Yep, but he didn’t realise I wouldn’t be there. I said I can see if there’s an empty room near Solie’s I can stay in, so I’ll be close.”

“Ah, I’m afraid there isn’t. We’re at the end of the hall opposite each other and Kwan is on one side to him and it’s a storage room next to mine, then the other guys follow those rooms.”

“Oh.”

“Well, you could stay in my room though.” You look at him as if he’s crazy. “I didn’t mean with me!” He defends while straightening up. “I can sleep in another room for the night, and you can have mine.”

“I’m not taking over your room, Seungcheol.”

“It’s just for a night and if it makes Chan more comfortable so they can have their first sleepover, I really don’t mind.”

“No, that would mean you’re away from Hansol too, I refuse to do that.”

“Ah, right. I mean, I’m pretty sure he’d be okay, I’ve spent nights away before so it’s not like he’s never had a night without me. I don’t know how I’d sleep though; I never sleep well in beds that aren’t mine, or at least if I’m alone in them.”

“Well then, you definitely have to keep your own bed.”

“Mm…what if…and I’m not being a pervert before you say as much, but my bed is fucking huge, seriously, it’s ridiculously big I hate changing the fucking sheets so it’s the only reason I let the staff in to my room-”

“Does that mean you clean your own room and don’t have a woman do it, Seungcheol?” Your teasing jibe earns an unimpressed look from the man, which you giggle at.

“One day you’ll let that go.”

“Never.” You grin as he sighs. “So, what were you saying, anyway?”

“We could have our own sleepover,” he suggests timidly and bites on his bottom lip before continuing to talk while you stare at him blankly. “J-just like, because then we’re both right opposite the boys’ room and so they know where we are and we know where they are and they can enjoy their first sleepover with another kid, and my bed is big enough that we will have plenty of space without even touching, like another two grown adults could fit between us and we’d still not fall off the edges.”

“That sounds like an unnecessarily big bed, Seungcheol.”

He lets out a breath you hadn’t noticed he was holding. “Yeah, it kinda is. Comfortable as fuck though so I’m keeping it until it’s ruined.”

“That should take some time, in theory, unless you piss the bed.”

Seungcheol sputters. “I don’t…Hansol has a few times though, but it’s been thoroughly cleaned since then and I’ve invested in really good mattress protectors, it should last.”

“Good to know,” you murmur and turn back around to watch the boys, still going up and down the slides.

Honestly, just watching the repetitive play bores you so you have no idea how Hansol happily goes along with it when he’s usually so easily bored. Even you would’ve asked Chan to play something else by now, but Hansol just cheers when Chan jumps off the bottom of the slide then races him around to the steps.

“Jisoo told me about Hansol’s mother,” you announce gently, aware that it’s likely a touchy subject.

“Oh, I wondered what you two were talking about,” he admits with a sigh while his arms tighten ever so slightly around you. “It’s kinda a sore subject, that betrayal, and I wish Hansol had grown up knowing a loving mother but I’m glad she left before he could form memories of her.”

“Does he know she won’t come back?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. I didn’t want him asking over someone who isn’t worthy of the title of mother, so I told him as soon as he was old enough to understand that she isn’t a nice person and we’re far better off without her.”

“And he accepts that?”

“Mm, yeah, why? Has he said something about her to you?”

“No,” you assure and pat his hand on your waist gently. “Today was the first time anyone has ever mentioned her. I was just wondering about what you said of him asking to have a little brother.” You motion to the pair loosely. “I wondered if he was hoping she’d be back so you can give him a sibling.”

“Oh, nah, he really doesn’t care about her at all. I asked where he expects me to get him a little brother and he said the same place I got him.”

“His mother?”

“I said that, and he pulled a face and said find another mother.” Seungcheol chuckles. “As if it’s that simple.”

“Are you still in love with her?”

He scoffs harshly. “No fucking way, that bitch can rot for all I care.”

“But you haven’t found someone else since?”

“Never been interested. I already have my son; I don’t need another child and he’s my whole life. Outside of him, I work, and that’s it. I really don’t want to have a relationship with any of the women I meet through work, well…those women aren’t of interest to me. Most of them try to get my attention thinking it’ll give them status.”

“And the other women? Who don’t want to use you?”

“Gay.” The way he says it makes you laugh. “Lesbians seem to love me, just not in that way,” he jokes with what essentially sounds like a giggle. It’s very cute.

“That does limit your options then,” you muse, giggling along with him.

“Mm, how about you?”

“Oh, I have no idea what lesbians think of me.”

Seungcheol laughs and lowers his head to put his face against your shoulder, even if the material must be cold against his skin. “I imagine lesbians are very interested in you as much as straight men are.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a lesbian, so I can’t comment on that.”

“I’d say I’d introduce you to one, but I don’t want to.”

“That’s a bit possessive of you,” you mutter, giving him a look when his head jerks up to look at you with wide, innocent eyes. “Keeping all the lesbians to yourself like that.”

He relaxes and snorts a laugh while rolling his eyes. “What do you care whether I do or don’t, huh?” Though suddenly, his eyes are wide again and looking at you a little alarmed. “Wait, are…are you a lesbian?”

“Would it matter if I were?”

“Uh…I’m not homophobic or anything.”

“That didn’t answer my question. Would it bother you if I am a lesbian, Seungcheol?”

“Uh…”

“It would?” Your eyebrows lift in surprise. “How can you claim to not be homophobic yet be bothered by that?”

“Are you?” He whispers, expression starting to pinch a little.

“No.”

He lets out a breath and nods before turning you back around properly to face the boys where they’re still playing on the slides. “I think Chan could do this all day,” he comments before you can say anything more about the previous subject. Although you don’t really understand what just happened in that conversation, he’s being so evasive that you don’t push it. The last thing you want is to piss the man off by pushing him when he clearly doesn’t want to talk.

So instead, you just hum vaguely and remain quiet, stewing in your own thoughts and mild frustration at not understanding, while watching over the boys.

Although there is technically plenty of time after dinner for the boys to play more, they’re both beyond excited about their sleepover, so while Seungcheol takes Hansol to give him his bath and get ready for bed, you take Chan to your room to do the same.

“Per sleepover Sunny?” Chan checks, repeating the question for the nth time as he prods the toy floating in the water in front of him.

“Yes, Channie, I’m going to have a sleepover with Seungcheol while you have yours with Hansol. We will be across the hall all night,” you remind him patiently, knowing that he needs a lot of reassurance for such a big change in routine.

“We watch Nemo. What Per and Sunny watch?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you respond honestly to the new question; it’s a good sign that your reassurances are settling in Chan’s mind and becoming less of a need. “I don’t know if Seungcheol has a TV in his room.”

“Watch Nemo with us.”

“It’s okay, you and Solie can watch Nemo and Seungcheol and I will talk or something.”

“And bedtime cuddles?” He wonders, looking at you. “I have cuddles?”

“I’m sure Solie will give you cuddles, should I ask him for you?”

“But want cuddle you.” He frowns. “Want Per cuddles.”

“Well, how about I watch some of the movie with you and we can have cuddles, but I’ll go after the sharks?”

“Mm, then Solie cuddles?”

“Sure, baby, I’ll ask Solie to give you cuddles when I leave.”

“Okay,” he agrees and turns back to his toys.

Once Chan is out of the bath and contently playing on the bed wrapped up in his towel to let him dry off naturally and not irritate his sensitive skin, you tie your hair up out of the way and quickly hop in the shower to scrub paint flecks from your forearms and wash over the rest of your body before getting dressed.

To your surprise, Chan isn’t on the bed anymore when you exit the bathroom but standing on the floor pulling his pyjama bottoms up his legs, the shirt already on his body and partially buttoned from how you left it when you took it off him last time.

It’s the first time Chan has tried to dress himself so calmly. Usually, he’s already frustrated by now after getting his limbs in the wrong holes, but he looks determined as his tiny hands work on snapping the elastic of his trousers against his hips just like you do to make him giggle. You smile to yourself seeing him copying your little quirks, even if he doesn’t find his own actions giggle-worthy.

When Chan’s hands move to the front of his shirt, you honestly almost cry. Buttons, zips, and any fastenings other than Velcro have always been so difficult for him, too fiddly for him to navigate and the reason you never bought him anything that used any while you were homeless, so that he still had some independence despite having had to be glued to your side all of the time.

But Seungkwan has gained the habit of buying the boys matching clothes and the pair always look so happy and cute when they’re wearing identical clothing that you never try to argue and are always happy to help Chan get himself dressed and undressed for the sake of his and Hansol’s joy.

Yet today, today your precious little brother devotes his entire focus on painstakingly threading the little plastic circles through the slits. It takes some time, a handful of minutes per button, but he gets three out of four buttons through the openings before realising there isn’t another one for the topmost button. He’s confused for a second and doesn’t realise he’s threaded them in the wrong holes but then he lights up and bounces on his toes while his hands flap at his side.

“Did it! I did it!” He exclaims to himself then looks up intending to run to the bathroom to show you yet finds you already in the bedroom, so he stays in his place and his movements grow bigger, seeing you smiling and looking so fucking proud of him. “Look, Per! I did it!”

“You did,” you reply almost breathlessly then walk over to kneel in front of him and gently cup his beaming features. “I’m so proud of you, Chan.”

“I proud too!”

“Good, you should be,” you approve and lean forward to kiss his forehead. “I love you so much, my clever little brother.”

“I love you, my clever big sister.” He darts forward to hug you, squeezing you tighter than necessary due to all the joy running through his limbs, but you don’t mind and just squeeze him back with another kiss on his slightly damp hair.

“We need to get haircuts soon,” you comment as he backs up to bounce over to the bed and grab his turtle to squeeze and wriggle happily.

“No,” he complains, pouting at you and falling still. “No touch my hair!”

“I know you don’t like it, baby, neither do I, but both of us need a haircut before we get annoyed with our hair.”

“Per cut it?”

“I mean, I can, but it’ll not be very pretty.”

“Don’t care. Per only touch my hair.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll ask someone to get some hairdressing scissors for me and we’ll do it soon.”

“And Per hair too?”

“Uh, yeah sure, why not?” You shrug. “I’ll cut my own hair too; there must be video tutorials for cutting your own hair.” Chan just nods in approval and returns to smiling happily as he gallops over to you and tugs on your hand to signal you to get up.

As soon as you’re on your feet, he’s dragging you out of the bedroom and you let him, even if you know he’s left his damp towel on the bed so it’s going to ruin the bedding, but that’s a problem for the morning. Right now, it’s all about Chan.

Neither you nor Chan have actually been near Hansol’s and Seungcheol’s rooms before, you haven’t had a reason to until now, so you’re both a little hesitant as you near the end of the hall and can hear Hansol and Seungcheol talking in the left-hand room.

“Hurry, daddy! I want it to be a surprise ready!” Hansol encourages.

“Bud, I’m going as fast as I can,” Seungcheol reasons. You stop and lower to a crouch to keep Chan still and signal him to be quiet while he pouts confusedly at you.

“Well go faster!”

“Hansol,” Seungcheol warns. “I know you’re excited for your first sleepover, but you still need to be respectful, okay?”

“Sorry, daddy.”

“Good boy. How about you set the movie up while I finish this, yeah?”

“Okay!”

You wait patiently, even with Chan still sulking at you in your arms for making him wait, until you hear Seungcheol declare it’s finished and Hansol claps and cheers excitedly.

“It’s perfect, daddy! Thank you!” There’s a little ‘oof’ from Seungcheol as you assume Hansol has thrown himself at his father in an enthusiastic hug, before the man chuckles softly.

“You’re welcome, baby. Do you want me to stay for a bit or leave you alone?”

“Can you stay? I’m a little nervous, what if Squirt doesn’t like my room?”

“I’m sure he will, you’ve even got your sea light out for him.”

Chan wiggles in your hold at the mention of a sea light and you know you can’t make him wait anymore so you get up while releasing him, giggling as he scrambles forward and pops into the room.

“Squirt!” Hansol shrieks and runs over to hug Chan just as you cross the threshold into the bedroom. You smile seeing the two boys embracing with matching grins, and pyjamas, and look over at Seungcheol to see that he’s looking at them just as fondly from where he’s sprawled over his son’s large bed comfortably. Now, you notice what Seungcheol must’ve been doing.

Dangling from the ceiling to half cover the bed are a few sheets, attached to the ceiling with grey duct tape, making you wince a little at the thought of the strong tape pulling the paint from the ceiling when it’s removed, but Seungcheol clearly doesn’t care and can easily afford to have the ceilings redone for the sake of his son’s happiness.

In amongst the sheets, you can just about make out the sight of some fish stickers stuck onto the fabric and your heart only grows bigger and warmer with love for Hansol and his clear adoration for your brother.

It’s not technically true, but you think Hansol is the best big brother Chan could ever have.

“Look, Squirt!” Hansol encourages, taking Chan’s tiny hand in his slightly bigger one to lead him to the bed and help him up onto it before climbing up too.

Chan looks at Seungcheol before crawling over to lay at his side, making Seungcheol’s whole expression melt as he stares at the quiet little boy, who is already looking at the stickers he’s spotted. He makes an excited noise and points up to them.

“Yeah! Fishies!” Hansol cheers and starts to tug on the hanging sheets, but his dad makes a noise, stopping the boy and gets up himself to pull the sheets around the bed most of the way so that Hansol doesn’t accidentally pull them down.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Seungcheol encourages, motioning to the space on Hansol’s right, so you wander over and climb up onto the bed and finish pulling the sheet around the bed carefully.

The sheets are too thin to entirely block out the light from the copious lamps Hansol has in his room instead of using the main overhead lights, but it does dull it a little and makes the space oddly cosy.

“Look, there’s turtles and jellies and sharks and starfish and…” Hansol goes on pointing out all the different types of fish stickers over the sheets looking down on you all while Chan follows along with wide eyes glued to wherever the older boy points and his mouth parted in wonder.

A tap on your head makes you look up at Seungcheol where he’s propped up on his elbow on the pillow and his arm across it above the boys’ heads so that his hand is above your own head. “Is he okay with the dark?” He whispers to not disturb the boys. You nod. “Are you?” Another nod so Seungcheol smiles and grabs his phone and another little device from the bed behind him. He taps around on his phone and the lamps outside of the sheets all go off.

Chan gasps and starts to panic not having expected it, wriggling around ready to crawl over to you, but Hansol puts his hand on Chan’s chest to pat his fingers against the younger’s torso while making soothing sounds. “It’s okay, Squirt, it’s okay, daddy turned them off from his phone. It’s okay, he’s going to turn on something really cool, just lay with Solie, okay?” Hansol shuffles closer to Chan to put his arm around him and hold him, much like you imagine his father has done to him many times to soothe him. It works and Chan settles back down, tiny hands gripping onto Hansol’s sleeve and feet rubbing together restlessly but otherwise he’s perfectly still in wait.

A few seconds of Seungcheol fumbling with the device later, gentle blue light comes out of one end, and when you look at the sheets, you see a sea effect projected onto the material. The light moves in time with the gentle rolling sound of the waves coming from the device, simulating being underwater. Although you know it’s entirely for Chan’s benefit, you find yourself instantly soothed and curl up a little as your eyes track the shadows of the waves above you.

“Do you like it, Squirt?” Hansol whispers after a few seconds. You don’t need to look at your brother to know he’s nodding in awed agreement. “Good. Daddy bought me the light when I used to cry a lot, to help me calm down, but I don’t cry all the time anymore so you can have it if you want. I know you like the sea and fishes. We can get a tent and cover it in fishie stickers and put comfy pillows and blankies and the light and it will be nice, right, to lay in and watch and be like swimming with the fishies, right?”

Then, the one thing you were positive wouldn’t happen, at least not for a long time does, your little brother speaks. “Fishies,” he says softly. Hansol gasps, but he doesn’t say anything more and just holds Chan tighter with a bright smile on his face.

You can only handle it for a few seconds longer before you kiss each boy on the head, earning another beam from Hansol as you’ve never kissed him before, and he clearly loves the affection, before you quietly slip out from the sheets and leave the room.

In the hallway, you slide your back down the wall until you’re crouching with your face in your hands as you cry silently.

You’re only alone for a few seconds before familiar hands touch your arms gently, then you’re pulled in against Seungcheol’s firm chest as he holds you tight on his crossed legs in the middle of the corridor to let you grip onto his t-shirt and cry against his shoulder.

To your relief, Seungcheol doesn’t say a word at all, he just holds you and makes the occasional soft, soothing sound as his hands gently pat and stroke your arm and back. It’s easy to see where Hansol has picked up his calming habits, and it makes you choke out a small giggle, spotting the clear connection between father and son.

“Are you laughing?” The man questions in a puzzled mumble. You nod against his shoulder while giggling harder at his confusion. “So just to clarify, this isn’t sad crying?”

“N-no.”

“Oh, thank fuck,” he relaxes. “I mean, you can cry if you’re sad; you’re allowed to be sad and feel your emotions and all that, but seriously, I don’t think I would know what to do if you’re sad.”

“This is nice,” you answer with a few sniffles as you motion to how he’s holding you protectively in his strong arms in the circle of his thighs, making you feel nothing but safe.

“So, if you get sad, I can just hold you and let you cry and that’s enough?” You nod in confirmation. “Okay, I can do that,” he declares with determination in his voice, making you giggle again. “As much as I think your giggles are fucking adorable, I’m really confused right now, sweetheart. Why the tears?”

“I just got overwhelmed, but in a good way. I think it’s the first time I’ve been overwhelmed and it’s not a negative thing.”

“Oh, because of the boys?”

You hum and nod, watching your hand as you smooth out the creases you made in his t-shirt at the centre of his chest. “I never thought he’d trust anyone enough to talk to them, but Hansol has given him a safe space and…” you take a shaky breath in as tears prickle at your eyes again. “It just makes me so happy that Chan has him, he loves him so much.”

“It’s mutual, Sol adores his little Squirt,” Seungcheol adds, tilting his head to rest against the top of yours. “I’m really happy you came to us, sweetheart, both of you. You…you make us both so fucking happy, I don’t think we’ve been this happy before.”

“Us either.”

“You’ll stay, won’t you? Even after the Vultures are dealt with and it’s safe for you to be out there, have your name out there without being hunted down, you’ll stay?”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

He lets out a relieved breath before turning his head to press a kiss atop your head. “Me either.”

“Your ass probably wishes we were somewhere different right now though,” you muse, making him snort out a laugh as he straightens up.

“You just ruined a really heartfelt moment,” he points out, though he doesn’t sound at all upset about it and unwinds his arms from you, allowing you both to get to your feet. “Come on, they’re alright without us for a bit, let’s freshen you up a little,” he suggests, though the way he takes your hand into his and leads you into his room as he talks gives away that he isn’t really giving you an option.

You peer around the huge bedroom as you cross through, but you don’t really get to take it in, not that it looks like there’s that much to take in anyway, as he guides you into his ensuite and flicks the light on.

A surprised squeak leaves your lips when he abruptly turns and picks you up to plop onto the counter beside the sink. He smirks at you amusedly for a second then walks over to the unit to grab a face cloth.

“You don’t need to manhandle me, you could’ve just asked,” you scold as you shuffle to get comfortable and lean back against the mirror behind you while your feet swing from side to side contently.

“You would’ve questioned why I’m asking you to sit on the counter.”

You don’t respond for a second as you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that he’s right. As he approaches you with the little cloth in hands, he’s got that smug smirk back on his lips, making you sigh. “Okay, yeah, I would’ve but that’s because there’s no logical reason for me to need to be sitting on the counter right now.”

“Then why didn’t you get down?”

“You put me here, you want me here for a reason, even if you haven’t said what that reason is.”

“To look after you.”

Your eyebrows furrow slightly as you watch him wet the cloth under the running cold water. “I’m capable of looking after myself; I’ve been doing it for twenty years at least.”

“I know you’re capable, I’m not refuting that, sweetheart, but everyone deserves to be looked after too.”

“Then who looks after you?”

“The guys all do in different ways; by helping me stay sane at work, making sure I don’t overwork myself, looking after my son so that I know he’s safe and I’m not constantly worrying about him.”

“And who holds you when you cry?”

Seungcheol pauses as he squeezes out most of the water from the washcloth. Then he shrugs and moves over in front of you to tuck one curled finger under your chin and tilt your head back a little to allow him to begin delicately dabbing the cool cloth over your tear sticky cheeks. “I don’t remember the last time I cried.”

“Oh, I cry a lot,” you confess shamelessly.

“You do?” He raises his eyebrow in surprise. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen you cry.”

“I can usually hold it off until Chan’s asleep and I can shut myself in the bathroom, so he doesn’t see. I know it’s natural and everything, I’m not ashamed of how I cry when I’m overwhelmed by things or emotions, but I still don’t want him to see and get worried.”

“I understand, I wouldn’t want Hansol to see me cry either.”

“Chan has seen me cry before, multiple times, I haven’t always had the chance to hide it, but he gets so worried and overwhelmed and tends to have a meltdown so then we’re both a mess.”

“Well, now you have me, and the other guys too, they’d all help. You can tell Chan that if you ever need help, he should come get one of us.”

“I don’t know if he would leave me without explicitly being told to get someone, and I often can’t talk when I’m overloaded.”

“You go nonverbal?”

“If it’s really bad, yeah. But I just meant the whole crying thing makes it hard to talk.”

“Ah.” He makes a noise of understanding and tosses the cloth into the sink to replace it with the hand towel on the rack to pat your skin dry. “Do you know sign language?”

“A little, and I’ve taught Chan what I know, but our dad always lost his shit when he saw us doing it, or me learning, so it just…seemed like it wasn’t worth the beatings when I knew only I would use it with him in private and he verbally talks to me anyway.”

“Your dad beat you for learning sign language when Chan doesn’t even talk?”

“At first, he was okay with it, when Chan was really little, and everyone assumed he was just delayed a little so at least a few signs would help understand what he wants until he talks. But then he blamed it on why Chan didn’t try to talk and banned anyone from giving him any of his aids or signing so that he’d be forced to talk.”

“What a piece of shit.”

“Mm, only got worse when he got diagnosed with autism and dad just…stopped loving him.” 

“I’m sorry you had to deal with a pathetic excuse of a father like that, both of you. And I’m really glad you left and you’re here now where you can both be cared for like you deserve.”

“Thanks, Seungcheol, me too.”

“You know, you don’t have to call me Seungcheol all the time.”

“Well, I’m not calling you that stupid alias,” you retort, features scrunching in distaste while he puts the towel neatly back.

He laughs, which only grows when he sees your disgusted expression. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Then what? That’s all anyone calls you, some variation of that or Mr Choi. Is that what you want me to call you?”

“Fuck no.” Now it’s Seungcheol’s features that twist in revulsion, making you giggle amusedly. “Never call me Mr Choi, I don’t even like it when people say it, but I have to leave it be with them, the whole head of the Centaurs status shit. But you, don’t you dare call me Mr Choi.”

“Well, that’s all I’ve ever heard you be addressed with. Or daddy, but if you try to get me to call you that you’ll just confirm that you’re a giant fucking pervert.”

Seungcheol lets out your name in a gasped exclamation with eyes wide and cheeks pink. “Don’t say shit like that!” You start to cackle at his extremely flustered expression. “I-I wasn’t even thinking that!”

“Now you are.”

“Please shut up.”

“Sure, daddy.” He scrambles to put his palm over your mouth as his cheeks darken. You only laugh and let him, eyes sparkling with mirth above his palm.

“Stop. I don’t…I’m not into that.” You give him the best disbelieving look you can over his hand. “I’m not!”

You move his hand away from your mouth so that you can speak. “You’re red.”

“Oh, fucking hell,” he groans and slumps down until he’s squatting in front of you and hiding in your knees. “I regret suggesting sharing my bed with you.”

“I’ll ask Kwan if he wants a sleepover then,” you decide with a shrug.

The words are barely out of your mouth before Seungcheol is up on his feet at his full height and staring at you darkly. “No.”

“You said you regret-”

“I didn’t mean that,” he puts his palms on the counter either side of your thighs, making him lean down closer to you to reach, as his intense gaze burns into your innocently blinking eyes. “You are never to have a sleepover with anyone but me, understand?”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“That’s not a good reason.”

“Because I don’t want you in their beds.”

“But you want me in yours?” You reason, raising your eyebrow a little in question.

Seungcheol’s jaw clenches a little as he mulls over his answer before he responds so simply that you think it’s ridiculous both how long he takes to reply and how your stomach flips from the single, lowly spoken syllable. “Yes.”

“Oh.”

He raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth to say something more, but his son calling him stops the man in his tracks. Seungcheol lets out a soft breath before he drags his gaze over your face, eyes lingering on your parted lips, then he pushes away from the counter and leaves you sitting there with a racing heart and warmth blooming on your cheeks.

You’re not stupid, no matter what your father said about you, you are perfectly capable of understanding social cues when your mind isn’t so messy and stressed. You’ve been sent off to seduce too many men to not know what someone looking at your lips like Seungcheol just had means.

The information that Seungcheol wanted to kiss you, even if only for a moment, sends a strange feeling through your body that you’ve never felt before. It’s like anxiety and excitement rolled into one fizzling sensation throughout your veins and settling heavy in your sternum. You think that this might be what it feels like to have reasonable hope that someone likes you back.

By the time the boys fall asleep after Seungcheol has read them three books, and they’ve watched both Finding Nemo and Finding Dory tucked up in between you and the man on Hansol’s bed, that sensation in your chest has long fizzled out.

Though when you’re laid in Seungcheol’s ridiculously big bed, rubbing your feet together nervously as he showers and gets into his pyjamas in the ensuite, the bubbling in your chest returns with a vengeance.

You can’t stop thinking about what happened in the bathroom; the possessive way he had demanded you only climb into his bed, the way his intense gaze had lingered on your lips. Once you start thinking about that, it makes you consider other things he’s said and done over the past few months; how tenderly he treats you, how his cheeks frequently turn a shy pink in front of your eyes, how his touch always hovers longer than explicitly necessary when it’s on you.

For so long you’ve convinced yourself that it’s just how the man is; that he’s attentive and affectionate to all of his friends. Which isn’t even a lie because you’ve seen him lean into Jisoo when the doctor tends to his wounds, and you’ve seen him sling his arm around most of them, even plant a noisy kisses to cheeks when he’s feeling playful. But he never lingers. Not with them.

The more you think about it, the difference between how he treats you to any others, you realise the little things; how he seems to edge closer to you whenever you’re within arm’s reach until he can brush his hand against you, how he pays such close attention to you that he can sense what you need before you do sometimes, how even if he’s in the middle of yelling at his men for their mistakes, the second he sees you, the anger in his eyes melts away and the light returns to them, even just for a second before he focuses back on his job.

You don’t want to let yourself get carried away with the possibility that Seungcheol has liked you for even longer than you’ve liked him, but you’re already halfway up in the clouds by the time he returns and slips into the bed at your side despite the fact there really is no need to be so close when the mattress is so wide.

“You’re red,” he comments in a soft, teasing voice as he settles on his right side facing you, his right hand up underneath the pillow below his head and his left reaching for you under the covers to rest on your stomach.

When you turn onto your left side to face him, his hand slides over your waist to settle on your back, holding you close. You stare at him for a moment, nervously chewing your bottom lip while he watches you in wonder of what you’re thinking yet remains patiently quiet for when you’re ready to talk.

He’s always so patient, so good to you. He does so much, goes out of his way and you think that perhaps it’s time you try to return the effort.

Your hands tremble ever so slightly as you lift them between you to touch his jaw feather light. He breathes out your name in a whispered question, but he doesn’t do anything else when you crane your neck up to softly press your lips to his. You hear him inhale deeply through his nose at the delicate kiss, but before he can react otherwise, you pull away and remove your touch from his skin.

“That-that’s what you wanted earlier, r-right? In the bathroom?”

He stares at you for a moment with such a serious expression before he sighs. To your utter confusion and slight horror, his features turn down and he pulls away from you, severing all contact as he rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. “Don’t do that again,” he warns quietly.

Your heart starts to crack as the rejection seeps inside and drags it down out of place towards your stomach. You really thought he wanted to kiss you, wanted you.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammer and although you want to get up and leave before you start to cry, you’re frozen in place, body running hot and cold as the realisation that you misunderstood and fucked up runs rampant through your mind, spinning and whirling every thought up into one colossal fucking mess you can’t even try to figure out how to fix.

“Just don’t do it again, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” you repeat in a whisper that makes him sigh towards the ceiling. “I-I thought you want-”

“No, Pearl, don’t say that. You should never do shit because you think I want you to, that’s not what I want at all. I don’t want you to kiss me because it’s what you think I want. You should only kiss someone because you want to.”

“Oh.” That growing fear in your chest suddenly stops before it can spill up your throat. It doesn’t retreat, only halts in its path as you try to work your way through his words with your mind still flashing with the previous thoughts. “Can you clarify that?” You request.

“Clarify it?” He looks at you. “What do you mean?”

“It kind of sounds like you’re not against me kissing you, just that you want it to be because I want it, not that I think you do.”

“Uh.” He pauses and turns his head to face the ceiling again as he swallows thickly before he nods. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. Don’t kiss me for my sake.”

“I won’t,” you promise.

“Good,” the word is barely out of his mouth in a barely audible whisper before you’re leaning up over him on your left elbow to cup his cheek, tilt his head to you and press your lips to his. A soft, alarmed noise vibrates in his throat, and he reels back to stare at you with wide eyes. “Pearl, I just said-”

“Yeah, and I said I won’t,” you remind him. “Do you really think that now I’m free of all that shit, I’d kiss someone if I don’t want to?”

“You want to kiss me?” You nod. “Oh.” Then he’s reaching up to curve his left hand around your jaw and neck as he surges in to kiss you, not a drop of hesitation left in him.

It’s not even a few seconds of kissing before he’s wrapping his arm around you to pull your body up onto his until you’re straddling him and letting his tongue into your mouth when you gasp at the sudden manhandling.

You find you don’t mind it at all when it’s Seungcheol.

“You,” Seungcheol breathes out when he drops his head back into the pillows instead of keeping it lifted to meet you easier, even if you could’ve easily lowered down to him, but it seems he forgot that to be an option.

“Me,” you reply, even more breathless than the man as you let your weight settle more firmly on his hips and lower your torso until your chests are touching.

“You’ve been driving me fucking crazy for months,” he declares and smooths his hands down from your waist to grip handfuls of your ass with a low groan. “Especially in those fucking leggings.”

“You bought them.”

“Best and worst purchase I’ve ever made. Fuck, your ass looks so good in them, baby, but all I can remember when I see how fucking tight they are, is you wondering if you can even wear underwear under them.”

“I can’t,” you inform bluntly and watch amusedly as his head tips back a little with a soft groan while his fingers curve firmer into the flesh of your ass cheeks over your clothing. “I tried, but even that tiny amount of material makes it impossible to pull the leggings up to my hips so they just bunch and make my ass bulge over the band and-” Seungcheol cuts off your explanation with a heated kiss, one hand cupping the back of your head to pull you in and the other still groping at your ass as if he’s trying to imbed his hands into your flesh so that he never has to let go.

“Well,” the sudden voice from the doorway makes you both sit up and look over in alarm not having heard anyone approach, but Mingyu is standing in the doorway looking partially amused and partially shocked. “Just came to say that we’re all going out now for drinks, so it’s just the four of you in the house.”

“Uh, right, yeah, right. Have uh-” Seungcheol starts, then has to clear his throat, so that his voice isn’t so thick and rough with arousal, so obvious that Mingyu is smirking now. “Have a good time. Happy birthday, Gyu.”

“Happy birthday,” you repeat softly.

Mingyu’s expression softens as he looks directly at you instead of his boss and smiles at you. “Thank you, Pearl.”

“Hey!” Seungcheol complains. “Don’t I get thanks?”

“You refused to let us use the card,” Mingyu defends poutily.

“Of course I’m not letting you use the fucking business card to get drunk!”

“It’s his birthday,” you reason, turning your head to look at Seungcheol. “It’d be your gift to him.”

“He doesn’t like gifts.”

“Your gift to your men for working so hard,” you correct yourself without missing a beat and hear Mingyu snort out a badly concealed laugh as Seungcheol sighs heavily.

“I can’t believe you’re fucking manipulating me like this,” Seungcheol grunts and motions vaguely to the dresser, so Mingyu scuttles over to grab Seungcheol’s wallet to grab and bring over, with an excited grin on his face as he does so.

“You’re the best,” Mingyu breathes out gratefully as Seungcheol finds out the correct card to hand over to the tall man.

“I should think so,” Seungcheol grumbles.

“I was talking to Pearl,” Mingyu points out, then giggles and jumps away as Seungcheol darts his arm out, but with you still on his lap and quickly reaching up to put your hand on his arm and stop him, the man doesn’t have the chance to hit the birthday boy. “Thanks, daddy!”

“Fuck off!” Seungcheol exclaims as Mingyu leaves the bedroom while dramatically kissing the card in his hands. “If they bankrupt me, it’s on your shoulders, sweetheart.”

“Is there not a limit on that card?”

“No, I don’t think I can set it up either, it’s one of two cards, company cards let’s say, but Seungkwan has the other explicitly to use for Hansol’s benefit and he knows he’ll be punished if I see anything suspicious on the statements.”

“Get the app up, let’s look; I know how to do all that,” you reason as you climb off his lap and sit expectantly against the pillows that you prop up at the headboard. When you’re settled and can see Seungcheol again, you find that he’s just sitting there and pouting at you. “What?”

“We were in the middle of something,” he reminds and places one hand on your thigh to squeeze a little, suggestively.

“Yes, and now I’m very aware that the door is open, and the boys can walk in any at second, so I’d rather they don’t see me naked and bouncing on your cock.”

Seungcheol gawps at you in stunned disbelief for a moment then dazedly nods and turns away to grab his phone from the side table. His movements are slow and a little stilted all the way until he’s at your side with his right arm around you and his phone in his left hand as he unlocks it.

“What?” You ask and he hums questioningly. “You went really weird there.”

“Just really fucking threw me off hearing you saying that. Didn’t expect it at all and now I’m just wondering what kinda dirty shit you’re capable of saying.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough, daddy.” He makes an unimpressed noise and lightly taps your arm with his right hand in scold while you giggle amusedly.

“You’re a brat, aren’t you?”

“I can be whatever you want me to be.”

“No,” he refutes with a sigh. “You’re not doing that, sweetheart, if we’re going to do this then I want you, not some version of you that you think I want. Don’t play into any of the shit you were taught to bait men, I just want you and what you like, okay?”

“I’m not sure I know what I like, I’ve never had the chance to really explore that. Sometimes I had some leeway with the targets but generally I was given a character to play and stuck to that to get the job done,” you admit and take his phone once he’s got the banking app unlocked and the correct card open.

“Have you ever had sex because you want to?”

“No, never had someone I wanted before.” Seungcheol doesn’t respond, letting you think the topic is over. “Okay, I can add a limit, what should I put?” You ask, then type in the number he mumbles, before you press confirm. “You should probably text them to let them know there’s a limit.”

“If they hit that limit tonight, I think money is the last of my problems, they’ll all have alcohol poisoning, sweetheart.”

“Ah, right, suppose. I don’t know how much all that costs.” You shrug and lean your head on his shoulder as he locks his phone and tosses it aside on the bed carelessly so that he can hold you with both arms.

“Sweetheart?” He starts after a few moments of calm silence while his fingers draw mindless, innocent patterns against your thigh. You hum to show you’re listening. “I need to ask what it is you want from me.”

“I thought we already discussed this months ago,” you murmur puzzled.

“I don’t mean that, I mean this, us.”

“Oh. I want you.”

“How?”

“You’ve got a kid, Seungcheol, you know how that works.”

“No,” he chuckles softly. “I’m not asking how sex works. I’m asking if that’s all you want from me, sex.”

“I don’t want your money.”

“Baby,” he lets out a soft breath and adjusts you both so that you’re sitting up and looking at each other. “I mean what relationship do you want from me? Is it just sex, or do you want more?”

“Oh,” you understand, nodding slowly as your eyes widen ever so slightly for a few seconds. “You’re asking if I expect you to be loyal to me and stuff. You’re a gang boss; I know loyalty to a woman isn’t part of that and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the fuck up. Being a gang boss doesn’t mean that at all! My dad was always loyal to my mother, and he raised me to be the same. I don’t sleep around, sweetheart. If we do this, I’m only going to fuck you until you tell me you don’t want me anymore.”

“Does that mean you’d keep fucking me even if you don’t want me?” You frown. “I don’t like that, Seungcheol.”

“No, not at all. Of course, I’m not going to fuck someone I don’t want but I’m…I’m pretty fucking sure I wouldn’t be the one to end this.”

“What makes you say that? Neither of us know what will happen, you could meet someone else or get bored of me or something else.”

“Because this isn’t just sex for me. I get if you just want it to be about sex and I can do that, I’ll keep my feelings to myself and not try to blur lines, but I want to be with you.”

“W-with me?” You whisper and shuffle a little. “And feelings like…romantic?”

“Yeah, baby, feelings like romantic, as in I want to be in a committed relationship with you; I want to be yours and call you mine, but I’m not going to bitch and whine about it if you don’t want that. I’m a grown man, I can accept rejection so just…what do you want from me, baby? Do you want me like that or just sex?”

“I’ve never liked someone before,” you rush out and watch as his expression falls, making you realise that your words sound like a rejection. “No! Wait! Don’t-don’t look sad, I didn’t mean as if I still don’t. I like you, Seungcheol and I’ve never liked someone before, never done relationship type stuff so I don’t know how to do it right, is what I mean.”

“Oh,” he lifts his left arm so that he can cup your jaw and brush his thumb over your cheek tenderly. “You like me? Like really and not just attracted to me?”

“Yeah, I like you and I don’t know how to be a good girlfriend or even a mediocre one, but I’d really like the chance to try with you.”

“I haven’t been with someone in a long time either, not since Sol’s mother. I’m out of practice, so we can learn how to do it together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agree as a smile lifts your cheeks and his own features naturally mirror your joy as it grows. “Let’s learn together, Cheolie.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out and surges in to kiss you in a way he hasn’t yet. Before, the kisses were all heavy and intense and although there is plenty of passion in this one too, it doesn’t feel as if lust plays a part in it at all, only pure adoration. “That sounds so fucking cute, baby, always call me Cheolie.”

“Okay, Cheolie,” you agree simply and can’t help but giggle at the dopey smile he gives you from so close that his nose almost brushes yours. “Can we not make a big deal out of this?”

“As in not tell anyone?”

“I just don’t want to get ahead of ourselves in case it doesn’t work out.”

“Oh, right, well that makes sense, it’d be awkward to announce we’re together today then realise in a couple weeks we’re better as friends and have to say we’re over.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, that’s fine, we can wait. I’d really like to be entirely certain before the boys know too.” You nod emphatically in agreement. “Though there’s a slight problem.”

“What?”

“Mingyu has definitely already told the guys he walked in on us.”

“Oh. How do you know that?”

“He’s one of my best friends, I know him. Know all of those nosey assholes and they definitely all know that we’re at least…physical.” You snort a laugh at his choice of phrasing. “Hey, don’t laugh at me, I didn’t want to say fucking when we haven’t done that.”

“Yet.”

He makes a strange hum of agreement in response. “Y-yep. Yet. Haven’t fucked yet.”

“Soon.”

“You want me to die, don’t you?”

“No. Whose cock am I going to bounce on then?”

“Alright, enough,” he grunts and abruptly tackles you to the bed, making you yelp and then giggle madly when he manhandles you to lay down facing away with his arms around you. “Stop talking like that or you’re going to wake up with something pressing against your ass.”

“I don’t think I’m into that,” you comment thoughtfully. “We can try it though, if you want.”

He groans and buries his face in your neck. “Please shut up and go to sleep, for the sake of my sanity.”

“But I’m not tired,” you complain.

“Want to watch TV?”

“You have a TV in here?” You crane your neck up to look around as best as you can, but you can’t see a TV on any of the bare walls. “There’s no TV.”

“It’s in the bed.”

“What?” You roll onto your back as Seungcheol lets you go to reach above you to the top of the headboard where there’s a little shelf behind it and he retrieves the remote. You watch as he presses a button at the top of the device and then the footrest of the bed opens up and a TV slowly rises from the end. “Whoa.”

“Cool huh?”

“That seems like a bad idea,” you comment and sit up to crawl over and poke at the TV once it’s still, so that you can test the stability. It’s surprisingly solid.

“It’s safe, these TVs are made extra sturdy to account for being in a bed.”

“Are they sex proof?”

“What?” He sputters and looks at you as if you’re crazy, but you’re still focused on testing the stability of the huge screen on the rack, which has been cleverly designed to match the bed and not be an eyesore. “You’re not supposed to fuck against it, babe!”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean movement of the bed itself, is the frame stable enough to protect the TV from those movements?”

“I would assume so; I’ve never had the chance to test it.”

“We’ll have to do that,” you decide and turn to crawl back over to where he’s partially propped up so that he can look at the TV without having his neck at an awkward angle.

“Oh, will we?” He muses as you fit yourself against his side with your arm across his waist and head on his shoulder.

“Mm, you’re going to have to fuck me really hard to really test the durability. And many times, so-” His right hand lifts from your waist as his arm is around you, and covers your mouth, making you peer up at him and find his dark gaze on you.

“Stop it before I lose my cool and risk mentally scarring the boys by testing that right now.” For a second, you almost goad him on, but you really don’t want the boys to see that, or hear it, so you nod in agreement. “Good girl.” He removes his hand from your mouth and cranes forward to peck your slightly pouty lips. “What shall we watch?”

“Does it have to be an adult movie?” You ask as you turn to settle back down and watch the screen where the streaming app are showing as he waits for your answer.

“No.”

“Good, because I really want to watch Cars.”

“Cars?” He laughs, already going into Disney+. “That’s not what I expected.”

“I wasn’t allowed to play with cars or learn anything about them, but I could watch this,” you explain.

“You really like cars, huh?”

“I don’t know,” you admit with a shrug, eyes glued to the screen to watch Seungcheol navigate the app to search for the movie. “I was just never allowed to find out, so it’s stuck with me.”

“Well, Jihoon says you’ll be a good mechanic and he’s more than happy to keep training you.”

“Even though I dented that car today?”

“I think he likes you even more now.” He chuckles and kisses your head. “Do you want to keep working with him?”

“Yeah, I like it there with him, we just…click, I think. It’s nice.”

“I’m glad you’ve gotten closer with him; he used to spend most of his time complaining about his team but now he talks about you and your lessons, how quickly you’re learning. I think it’s kind of cathartic for him, almost, having someone there who he doesn’t want to choke with a wrench.”

“That would be impractical.”

“Oh, but he’s a determined, demonic entity when he’s pissed off, he’d make it work.” He chuckles. “Anyway, let’s watch this and then if you’re still awake after, we’ll get a snack before starting the next one, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me, Cheolie.” Seungcheol presses a kiss to your head then plays the movie and gets comfortable with his right arm securely around you and his left hand holding yours on his chest where you can feel the content beating of his heart against your fingers.

Don’t forget to reblog if you liked to help spread the story and let others read it too! And don't be shy to leave comments or send an ask so I can see your thoughts 🥺 💖

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[misotsukiiyeooo]

"Just one more?" Part 3

Pairing:Husband!Father CSC x F! Mother!Reader

A/N: I'M BACKKK!!! After the polled votes came in I immediately started to write lmao! This one will also be a bit longer since it's the last one...or is it? jkkk unless...Enjoy!

Genre: Fluff (Hint of crack)

Word count: 16.6k (Not proofread sry)

Synopsis: After Seungcheol finds out you're pregnant, again, the whole experience has been, tender, lovely, and well....shocking

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

3 Months Later

Everything with Seungcheol has been so perfect. Well, this is your fourth kid but that's what made the experience even better.

He already knew how to help you with your cravings and everything.

Telling the rest of his members was also fun. Of course, Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Joshua ran up to hug you first.

And telling your children was also exciting with Seojun, your oldest son hugging you while Jieun, your second child blabbers on how she's going to dress up the baby. Your youngest, Dohyun just smiles handing you a toy to play with him.

Today, You and Seungcheol are so excited because you can finally find out the sex of your child.

"Babe, we're going to be late!" He's rushing you, clearly he's more excited than you are.

"I'm coming hold on!" You grab your sweater and wave goodbye to your kids and thank Seungkwan once again for watching them.

Seungcheol holds your hand as you walk down the stairs. "I'm only three months, Cheol..." He still treats you as if you were going into labor this instant.

"I know....but we still need to be careful" You look at him while he continues to talk nonsense.

Entering the car, he closes your door; going to the driver's side.

"What do you think the gender is?" You ask him, curiously. "Hm, probably another boy. But whatever the gender is, I'll love them either way." He looks at you fondly.

"You're so cheesy! But I think it'll be a girl because we just had a boy and it seems like a pattern." Seungcheol thinks about it, nodding. "You're probably right, but there's only one way to right out." He starts the car.

As you enter the hospital, you are greeted with warm smiles. "Hi, I had an appointment for an ultrasound today." The nice lady behind the desk looks at you. "Oh yes, Choi Y/n was it? Please fill out these papers and bring them back to me."

She hands you some medical papers and you take them, walking to a seat where Seungcheol's already at.

After filling out the papers you hand them to the lady to take your seat again but before you even sit back down, your nurse calls you in.

"Choi Y/n?" She calls out. "Yes?" You both lock eyes, smiling. "Follow me right this way."

You hold Seungcheol's hand, excited and nervous to find out the sex.

You are seated in the reclined seat while Seungcheol stands beside you. "So you're finally three months! You're here to find out the sex, right?" You nod.

The nurse puts the cold gel on your belly causing you to twitch. You look at the screen above which shows the ultrasound.

"Seems like your baby's doing well." She continues to look at the screen. Her eyes widen, causing you to get scared.

"Is something wrong?" You and Seungcheol both look at her. "I'm afraid I'm not able to say anything. Only the doctor could, and she shall be here shortly." She exits.

You feel anxious, many negative thoughts running through your mind. 'Is the baby sick?' 'Is the baby alright?'. Taking you out of your thoughts, you feel Seugcheol grip your hand.

"Everything's going to be okay, alright?" Just the right words you wanted to hear.

A few seconds later, the doctor enters. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Choi. Is everything alright? I just received some information from the nurse who was here, and I want to check it out for myself."

"If you don't mind me asking, what's wrong?" Seungcheol asked, looking quite nervous himself.

The doctor now looks at the screen. "There seems to be two babies in here."

"What!?" You and Seungcheol both say in unison.

"How's that possible? When I came here two weeks ago they said they only saw one?" You're utterly confused.

"You are quite early in your pregnancy so mistakes like this can occur, especially with the babies hiding and such. But yes, look here," She points to the screen. "There's two babies in here, congratulations. You're having twins!"

You're both left shocked, mouths gaped. "I'm not mad...however I'm just in shock." You let out, not knowing whether to be excited or in tears.

"What are their genders?" Seungcheol pitches in. "I'm sorry I almost forgot to even tell you. This one's a girl and the other's a boy." The doctor points at the screen, identifying each baby.

"A boy and a girl?!?" You still can't believe this.

"Yes but if you'll excuse me, I have another patient that needs to be checked. If there are any more questions, you can ask anytime, take care and remember not to stress too much." The doctor exits and you sigh, now facing Seungcheol.

"You did say you wanted another baby" He smiles. "Yeah, but I didn't expect to have babies!" You both look at each other, breaking the silence with laughter.

"I'm a bit scared though...we have to get two of everything and more stress, more waking up at night, more everything! And no wonder I'm so huge at only three months!!" Seungcheol wants to let out maybe even the tiniest bit of laughter but knowing how hormonal you are, he could never do such a thing.

"It's going to be alright baby, you need to remember; that I'm also here. I would never let you do this alone." He holds your hands.

"Hm...You're right, I'm sorry but still, these are two babies!" You let out. "I can't even imagine the boy's faces when I tell them," Seungcheol said.

Arriving home you see Seungkwan and the kids playing together. "You sure you don't want to have your own kids?" You rest your hand on your hip, smiling at him.

"No, most definitely not. I'm good as a fun uncle, not a father." He lets out a chuckle causing you to also laugh.

"Well, I have some news...we're having twins!!" His face has shock written all over it.

"Twins? Twins!!" Seungkwan rushes over to you, hugging you tightly. "Kwan...the twins, remember?"

He made an 'o' shape with his mouth and then let go, apologizing.

"When are you going to tell the rest of the boys?" Seungkwan asks. "Maybe tomorrow? I can't wait to see their faces!"

Seungcheol comes back from the kid's room after putting them to bed while you are talking with Seungkwan. "Well as much as I love to stay and talk with you, I have to get home. Practice is pretty early for us." He looks over at Seungcheol.

"Right, get home safe Seungkwan." Seungcheol waves as you walk Seungkwan out.

After saying your goodbyes' he left; leaving you and Seungcheol alone. "I still can't believe everything that's happened today..." You hug Seungcheol who already has his arms open for you.

"I know, I'm even more excited now that I know it's twins," he says as he kisses your forehead, then your nose, and finally your lips causing you to giggle.

"Should we get ready for bed? You also have a long day tomorrow you know." You said earning a pout from him. "But I wanted to spend my day with you and the kids tomorrow..."

Smiling at his cuteness, you play with his hair, "How about we visit you during practice? We do have to tell the boys about the twins."

"I do like the sound of that." Seungcheol kisses you once again before you head off to bed.

Next Day

You wake up to an empty bed. However, you do see a post-it note on the side dresser.

'Good morning my beautiful wife, I made breakfast for you and the kids ;)'. Smiling at the note, you get off of bed and freshen up for the day until your kids wake up.

As soon as you got out of the bathroom Dohyun, your three-year-old was walking up to you. Slowly but surely.

"Mama, where dada go? I went to room but no one there" He has his hands in a shrugging position while shaking his head. 'Aw this cutie' You thought.

Taking him into your arms and pampering him with kisses you, finally answer. "I'm sorry Dohyun, dada went to work. Do you want to go surprise him later?"

He doesn't let even a second go by before yelling out excitedly, even waking up the rest of the kids. "Dohyun...you woke me up..." Jieun walks out rubbing her eyes while Seojun's just a couple steps behind her.

"I'm sorry kids, but Dad made you guys breakfast! So after eating, we can get dressed to see him at work."

They both look at each other, then you. "Does that mean we can see our uncles too!!" They say in unison happily.

"Yes, you can but, not if you don't eat breakfast." Seojun and Jieun race to the table to eat the food Seungcheol made in no time.

After driving to get some food, you finally make it to Seungcheol's workplace.

You enter the elevator with the kids. "Mommy, I'm so excited to see Uncle Gyu!" Jieun jumps excitedly.

"Hm, and why is that?" You ask. "Because he's so tall and I can pretend like I'm flying!" She puts one arm up as if she were.

"Well, it's a good thing we're here now." You all exit the elevator and they're already used to the place; running to the practice room before you can even get there.

As you approach, all you can hear are indistinct screams of joy.

Entering the practice room you see all the boys surrounding your kids. Seungcheol notices you immediately and grabs the food out of your hands.

"Babe...why didn't you tell me you were downstairs? I could've helped you with the food." He pouts.

"It's okay, Cheol. It wasn't that heavy." Seungcheol still takes the bags.

"Y/n!!" Mingyu runs to hug you but slows down; eyeing you. "Wow..." You laugh at his face.

"I know, right?" You affirm, moving toward him to offer a reassuring hug because he was too hesitant to do so himself.

"Uncle Gyu! Carry me, carry me!!" Jieun wastes no time asking for what she wanted this whole time.

"Ms.Jieun, please keep all arms and legs in the vehicle at all times." Mingyu bends down so Jieun can go on his back. "Prepare for take off!!" As he runs around the practice room with Jieun, you take the opportunity to head towards everyone else.

"Hey guys!" They all look at you, waving, smiling, and coming up to hug you.

"Thanks Y/n for the food!" Soonyoung thanks you while taking another spoonful. "You're welcome!"

Dohyun walks to Wonwoo- calmly sitting on his lap, you've always noticed Wonwoo was his favorite uncle. Probably because they're both calm people.

And Seojun simply talks with his favorite uncle, Seokmin. He knows how crazy Seokmin is; however, he just finds him enduring.

You sit with everyone, patiently waiting to drop the news. "When are you going to tell them?" Seungkwan whispers next to you. You hit him for whispering too loud, "I'll tell them now..."

You eye Seungcheol, signaling to him that you are ready to tell them. "So guys...I actually have some news." They look at you confused on whether it's good or not.

"Is something wrong?" Jeonghan asks. "Well, no. It's just shocking."

"Tell us, tell us!" Chan grows impatient.

"So, I went to my ultrasound yesterday, and turns out...I'm having twins!!" You finally let out.

Many expressions were shown but you can tell they were all happy; just shown in...different ways.

Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Seokmin literally jump like animals.

Minghao, Jihoon, Wonwoo, and Vernon congratulate you with the biggest smiles.

Junhui and Chan both sit down in shock.

And lastly, Jeonghan and Joshua run up to hug you, again.

"I'm so happy for you!!" Joshua tells you. "Oh my gosh! We can make them just like me and Seokmin!" Everyone pauses; looking at a happy Soonyoung.

"Or maybe not." He shuts up completely as we all laugh.

The rest of the day was spent with the kids playing with their uncles while you talked it up with the ones who weren't occupied.

6 Months Later

Everything has been going well with you carrying twins and all.

Your best friend, Seungkwan threw you a baby shower with the help of your parents.

Your kids felt the twins kick, and Seungcheol almost cried.

Seungcheol even decorated a whole room for the twins. And now you're 9 months pregnant and shopping at the mall.

"That dress in that store looks cute! Let's go Cheollie." You hold your back as you walk into the store.

Grabbing the dress in your size, you head to the changing room, Seungcheol steps behind you.

You managed to successfully put on the cozy dress but taking it off was a hassle. "Cheol? I need help."

He comes into the changing room worried. "What happened?" He asks.

"Nothing too serious I just need help taking off my dress." He lets out a sigh of relief and helps you.

As he lifts up the dress a bit you pause.

"Cheol..stop."

He looks at you puzzled, but lets go.

"Either I just peed my pants or I think my water just broke..." Eyes widening he panics. "Your water broke?!?"

You simply nod, panicking yourself. Out of all places, your water broke before; it's never been at a mall.

You knew you were going to give birth at any point just not right now!

"We-we have to go!" You groan at the contractions. You both try to walk out of the store but get stopped by security.

"Ma'am you can't leave without purchasing the dress." He puts an arm out.

"Add it to my tab, I'll call this place later. It's an emergency." Seungcheol holds you by the waist attempting to calm you before you yell at this man. But the guy once again has his arm out.

"That's what they all say. I'm afraid I can't let you leave without paying."

That's it

"My water just broke and it just so happens to be I was trying on this dress! So if you don't want two fucking babies coming out of me in this store I suggest you listen to my husband and let us fucking go!!" The security's eyes widen, looking you up and down and gulping.

"Well, I'm sorry for not reading the room. Please, go on and give birth to your twins.." He finally moves his hand and you and Seungcheol rush out of the place.

Entering the car, your screams only get louder and louder. "We're almost there, Baby. Almost there.." Seungcheol holds your thigh while driving as fast yet safely as possible.

You make it to the hospital and Seungcheol does the talking for you. "My wife is going into labor." He attempts to stay as calm as possible.

"Come right this way." A nurse brings you to a room while you're very much in pain.

Multiple nurses enter now as your contractions are getting close. "Ms. Choi, breathe, just breathe."

Did she really just tell me that?

"What the hell do you think I'm doing?!?" You counter back. Seungcheol smiles at the lady apologizing for you.

The pain was unbearable, those twins were really doing a number on you.

A doctor finally walks in, "Hello, your contractions are pretty close I see, I'm going to need you to push."

Push!?! Can't she see I can barely even breathe?!?

Seungcheol holds your hand as you are preparing to push.

"And 1, 2, 3, push!" Said the doctor. Only screams were heard; everything felt hazy you didn't know if you could even do it.

"You got this, Babe. Just keep pushing." He never once left your side as you continued to push.

"Just one more Ms.Choi-There we go. A beautiful boy!" The sound of the newborn baby crying calmed you in a way that brought you back to your senses.

The nurses took that baby to clean him while you still felt in pain. "One more Ms.Choi, you got this come on."

"I-I I can't. I can't do it" You felt exhausted, this was serious pain.

"Y/n, look at me- Look at me. You need to push; I know you're tired but there's still our daughter in there waiting to be brought into this world. So push!! I'm right here for you." Seungcheol's words help you realize, you have to keep going.

For the sake of your daughter.

You push as hard as you can, taking breaks, tears leaving your eyes, and even sweat dripping from your forehead.

But that didn't stop you from completing your mission.

And with the last push, your daughter was finally out. "Congratulations Ms. Choi, you did well."

You drop your head on the pillow, and tears of happiness and pain keep escaping your eyes. "You did it Y/n...it's all okay now." Seungcheol kisses your forehead and those are the last words you hear before falling into deep sleep.

After some time, you blink your eyes open only for them to be set on Seungcheol holding two babies in his hand. Tears of joy leaving his own eyes.

"Oh look, mommy's up! let's go say hi." He walks up to you so you can see your children.

"They look perfect, right?" He said as you can't even keep your eyes off them.

"I know, they must've gotten that from me." You chuckle at your newly found confidence. "I think they did." He adds on giggling himself.

"What should we name them?"Seungcheol asks you. "Hm..I don't know yet..."

"How about I name one and you name the other?" He proposes. "But they should rhyme, no?" You ask. "If you want them too."

"Well then, what if...she's Jisu and...he's Jiho?" You pitch in, pointing at each kid, waiting for his response.

He nods, "I think it's perfect. Jisu sounds cute like her and Jiho sounds manly like this handsome boy here." He kisses they're cheeks.

"Jisu and Jiho it is."

Reqs are open!!

This adorable divider is by @dollywons !!

Taglist!!

@jjunie-0 @minminghao @honglynights @allieyaaa @bath1lda @black-swan-blog27

[junplusone]

catch the rain ; boo seungkwan

summary: caught between a political alliance and the possibility of a prolonged freedom, you just can't help the easy lie that slips out of your mouth. now, you're left to deal with the consequences of putting up a front to your family, the court, and the rest of the kingdom.

pairing: boo seungkwan x f!reader

contains: historical/royalty au, childhood best friends to not friends to friends again to lovers, reader's surname is choi because scoups, fake engagement, cheol is married in this, bestie jeonghan coming in clutch

warnings: language/swearing, shady behavior from a dude (ew), mentions of war and blood

word count: 8.53k

a/n: it's finally done! many thanks to ro @shinysobi for beta reading and also jay @ppyopulii for your feedback <3 also this gorgeous gorgeous banner was made by jay too; they're literally a graphic genius & i am so thankful ❤️ i hope you guys enjoy!

tags: @mochacoda @ppyopulii (let me know if you'd like to be tagged!)

“And then there was chaos,” Jeonghan would say if he was here right now.

He wouldn’t be wrong, either. You can almost picture his smirk in your mind – you’re just standing motionlessly, watching as the ministers lose their minds and your father tries to process what you’ve just said for the entire court to hear. 

It has been several minutes since you’ve made the announcement, and there has not been a moment of calmness since then. Of course, you were aware that news of this nature would shock the general public to some extent, but you didn’t think it was that serious.

You watch nervously as your father calls for order, quieting the room down, and then turns to you.

“You are trying to tell me, child,” he says slowly, leaning back against his throne, “that you mean to marry General Boo’s son?”

“Yes.” The lie is bitter on your tongue, but you have no choice but to run with it, albeit a bit awkwardly. “He is the one I want to be with. I… I love him,” you add awkwardly, hoping nobody catches on.

“I see.” 

You must have sounded convincing enough because he doesn’t question you any further. Instead, he just chuckles to himself after a few seconds, relaxing his shoulders. 

“And all this time we were trying to find someone for you, suitor after suitor… Oh, my apologies, Doyun. I suppose your plans are not to come to fruition.”

At the corner of the table, the aforementioned young lord scowls in silence. You shudder, reminded of all the ways he had tried to court you – cornering you in some random hall of the palace and trying to come to your chambers at night. No matter how much you tried, for your father’s sake, you could not see yourself with him.

“Well, I suppose our search for a suitable groom is over,” your father continues, giving you a warm smile. “That is quite the relief, isn’t it?”

“Wait, you’re okay with this?”

“Why would I not be? I have seen the both of you grow from small children into promising adults, and Seungkwan is a good man,” he remarks kindly. “The court may have reservations, but that is irrelevant to me. I have none.”

Minister Park raises his hand tentatively. “But, Your Majesty –”

“Objections will not be heard,” he says, rejoicing merrily. “Let it be said, as far and wide as the kingdom goes. My daughter is to be married!”

It’s evident that the court is displeased with your choice, but they congratulate you regardless, not willing to risk their roles by further irritating the king. You play along as best as you possibly can, all smiles for everyone else. Clearly, your little lie was surprising enough for nobody to suspect a thing.

Doyun approaches you next, bowing slightly while making a face. You return it out of respect, though his mere presence around you is unsettling enough. 

“Congratulations, Your Highness,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Boo Seungkwan must be over the moon, to be engaged to a woman like you.”

Shit. Seungkwan. 

You haven’t even told him yet. How can you justify such a huge lie you let slip in a moment of sheer panic?

How do you deliver news like this to someone you aren’t even on speaking terms with?

“Uh, yes. He is,” you reply, trying to suppress the alarm from reflecting onto your face. “We are very happy. Yes.”

“Yes, that is good,” he says, slightly amused.

“I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay,” you tell him, bowing again. Internally, you grimace a little, trying to prevent the awkwardness of the situation from getting even worse. “And I hope there are no hard feelings, sir. I truly am sorry.”

“Of course not, Your Highness.” He doesn’t look like he believes you, but he accepts the apology nonetheless. You plaster a fake smile on your face until he finally walks away, leaving you by yourself.

“Thank god,” you mutter under your breath, looking for a way out. Your father is attempting to move on to the next topic, settling the court, and you use this moment to leave through the back doors, finally getting some space from all the chaos.

In the silence, the weight of your actions hits you suddenly. God, Seungkwan is going to kill you, you realize, for dragging him into something that isn’t his problem at all.

“What the fuck,” you whisper to yourself, assessing your next steps. Seungcheol – you could ask him for advice, although he might lecture you first. But you don’t know who else you could go to right now besides your brother.

Carefully, you slip into the hallway, making your way towards the library. It’s just barely evening, so you’re almost certain Seungcheol will be there. You pray you don’t run into anybody, making sure to stay quiet so nobody spots you away from the meeting you’re supposed to be at.

Immediately after you turn the next corner, you feel a hand wrap around your wrist tightly, pulling you aside.

“Wha– mmf!” Another hand comes up to cover your mouth, muffling any noises you make. 

Your brain is on high alert right now, and every single self-defense lesson Jeonghan has given you kicks in as you get dragged into a dark room. You struggle against the firm hold, elbowing your captor and delivering a particularly harsh kick to the inside of their knee in hopes that they’ll let you go.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

You’re about to do it again when you realize the man sounds strangely familiar for some reason. You stop trying to attack him and bite down on the hand that’s covering your mouth instead.

“Ow!” he exclaims again, clearly in pain. You almost feel bad, almost. “What is wrong with you, seriously!”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” you yell back, blindly following the wall to find the light. “I almost thought you were trying to kill me, and you still might be!”

“Why would I try to kill you?!”

The gears in your head start shifting as you finally get the light to work. The bulb illuminates the room as you turn to face the absolute last person you thought you were going to see today.

“Seungkwan,” you breathe, taken aback for a moment. You haven’t spoken to him in so long, and certainly not since he came back to the palace. Of course, you knew he had returned, but between all the things you had to do, you never got the chance to see him. Just looking at him now – his grown-out hair, and bruised knuckles – brings back a multitude of emotions. “What are you doing here?”

He just folds his arms, a deep frown crossing his features. “When were you going to tell me we’re getting married, Y/N?”

Shit. This is exactly the situation you were hoping to avoid. Seungkwan looks pissed off, and rightfully so.

“I’m so sorry,” you rush, the words tumbling out of your mouth. “I was at a court meeting, and everyone was pushing to hear some good news that I just didn’t have, and I just – I don’t know, I don’t know why I said your name first. I really didn’t mean to, Seungkwan, I’m really sorry.”

“So I was just convenient for you,” he says, scowling. “We haven’t spoken to each other in years, and you choose to throw me under the bus?”

“And whose fault is it?” You step closer, glaring up at him and all his audacity. “Whose fault is it that we haven’t spoken? I wrote to you almost every day for a year, and you decided to pretend I didn’t exist!”

“Did you expect me to drop all my responsibilities just for you? I was in the middle of a warzone, Y/N, I had bigger things to worry about than letters from home.”

Those words sting you into silence. Seungkwan has always been one to say things he doesn’t mean during a heated argument, but right now you have no way of knowing what’s actually on his mind.

“This is such a huge mess,” he says again after a few seconds, agitatedly running his hands through his hair. “Everyone thinks we’re actually engaged. We have to fix this somehow.”

“What, do you want me to go back and tell my father there will be no wedding because we hate each other's guts?”

“Ideally, yes.”

You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. “Seungkwan, I can’t do that!”

“And what about what I want?” It’s evident that his patience is running out, especially as his jaw tightens and his hands clench into fists. “What about my life? This is a huge decision that you made all by yourself and now I’m dragged into it for no reason other than knowing you!”

He’s right, and you know this, even as you open your mouth to retaliate. It’s certainly not fair; you aren’t even friends for you to rely on him like this right now. It was convenient – maybe that’s why Seungkwan’s name was the first on your tongue when you were being cornered with questions about your marriage.

Now, standing in front of him for the first time in years, you just miss him. You miss how close the two of you used to be, and the way things have changed makes your heart ache.

“I’ll go speak with my father right now,” you decide, peeling your eyes off of him and beelining for the door. “We still have time, we can play it off as a practical joke and pretend we had them all fooled —“

“No, wait, come back,” Seungkwan calls after a second’s hesitation, frowning again. “Don’t do that.”

“I thought you didn’t want this?”

“Absolutely not,” he grimaces, “but you’re going to cause so much trouble if you go and call it off now. Also, you’re almost twenty-five. Do you really think the court won’t push your father to make you marry Baek Doyun for political benefit? That man is a disgusting creep, especially considering all the things he’s done before.”

You narrow your eyes at him upon hearing that last part. “How do you know about that?”

“People talk,” he shrugs. “Never underestimate the palace attendants.”

“Oh, great.”

Seungkwan just observes you for a second. Those eyes have always been the most perceptive, ever since you were little kids. Not many things can get past him.

“Listen,” he starts, a little tentatively, “Baek hasn’t done anything to hurt you, has he?”

“No, never.”

“Good,” he sighs with something akin to relief. “Never liked the guy.”

You don’t question it; you barely have the energy to. Instead, you just lean against the wall, letting your head fall back onto the cement. 

“What do we do now?”

“For starters, we can’t actually get married.”

“Obviously,” you roll your eyes at him. “You’re acting like I want to be associated with you any more than I already am.”

“Clearly.”

“Shut up, Seungkwan.” 

The quiet reigns for a little while longer as you sit with him and your thoughts. Never in your life would you ever have expected things to come to this. 

“We could keep this going for a while and then say we called the engagement off,” you suggest, musing to yourself. “We could just say we realized we’re better off as friends.”

“Right,” he says under his breath, but you still hear it. Whatever. “That might be our only way out.”

You groan, dropping your head to your hands. “God, this is going to be the longest few months of my life.”

“You’re not the victim here,” Seungkwan reminds you. “I’m the one who got pulled into a relationship that I had no say in.”

There are no words on the tip of your tongue. How are you supposed to tell him you miss him while you’re still on wildly questionable terms? You can't even begin to express how badly you want things to go back to the way they were.

From where you’re standing, you sneak another glance at him. Seungkwan was always beautiful in the way that ceramics are; carefully created but also tangible, so easily slipped into daily life. 

You used to be my best friend, you catch yourself thinking as you watch him fiddle with the hem of his shirt. How did we get here?

“We should go,” you say instead. “I can’t go missing for too long before someone realizes I’m not where I’m supposed to be.”

He pulls himself to his feet. “And where are you supposed to be, Your Highness?”

“Not here,” you quip, reaching for the door handle. “I really hope you’re a stellar actor, Seungkwan. Keeping secrets from the palace is far from easy.”

You receive nothing but a dismissive sigh in return. “Worry about yourself, okay? I’ll do just fine.”

Typical, you think, but the truth is that you’ve missed the quick sarcasm that is just so very Seungkwan. 

As you leave the room with him in tow, a sense of trepidation fills the pit of your stomach. All’s well that ends well, right? 

You aren’t sure. Right now, you can only hope that this is one of those things.

There is nobody in the palace that loves you quite like Seungcheol does.

Your father likes to recount the way he used to watch over you when you were learning how to take your first steps, the way he would start bawling if you so much as got a scratch on yourself as a child. Everyone knows he would draw blood for you in a heartbeat, if it ever came to it.

However, that is not evident right now. Instead, he’s giving you a stern look from his spot on his armchair, arms folded in an attempt to look intimidating. Beside him, your sister-in-law Seoyeon is curled up in the bed with her blanket, listening in out of curiosity.

“Let me get this straight,” he says once you’re done talking. “You weren’t engaged two hours ago.”

“Yes.”

“But now you are.”

“Yes.

“To Seungkwan?”

No part of you enjoys having to lie to your brother over something you wish you could just talk to him about, but you genuinely can’t risk a single person finding out about your coverup.

“Yes,” you respond again, wincing internally. 

Seungcheol seems to be slightly taken aback. He takes a long sip of his chamomile tea before saying anything, weighing the situation in his head.

“You’re sure about this?”

“I am.”

“You know I just worry about you,” he says gently. “It’s not that I don’t trust you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy, no matter what it takes.”

“I will be,” you assure him. “He… he makes me happy.”

It feels wrong to even say that, but it seems to be good enough for Seungcheol, who just gives a small smile at your words. 

“You know, I feel like most of us saw this coming,” he remarks. “Now that I think about it, I’m not that surprised.”

“Really?”

“Well, of course. You two were essentially inseparable when you were younger. Eventually you grew up and had to go off and do your own things, but that kind of bond doesn’t just disappear overnight, does it?”

Oh, he could not be more wrong about that. If Seungkwan was here right now, he’d probably start laughing out loud. 

“Right,” is all you say, mentally folding in on yourself. 

It’s late, and especially after your little altercation with Seungkwan earlier, you’re totally spent. It feels like you’ve lived several months within the span of a few hours. What you need right now is to be wrapped under your covers and block out all of today’s events. 

When you finally bid them goodnight and retreat to your own room, the fatigue hits you like a truck. It takes everything in you to change into your nightclothes and wash up before slipping into bed, wondering what exactly you’ve gotten yourself into.

In the following days, you receive congratulations from nearly everyone, fielding a plethora of questions about the nature of your relationship. The lies come easily in the moment, but you make a mental note to get your story straight with Seungkwan later.

“You two make a dashing couple,” Jiwon, one of your ladies-in-waiting, tells you. “It was always so very obvious the young man was in love with you.”

This stops you in your tracks. “What?”

“Did you not know? There could be no other explanation for the way he looked after you,” she recollects. “Even when you weren’t aware, he was always around.”

Was that true? You have no way of knowing; you don’t remember much from your childhood or your adolescent years. Either way, all you see when he looks at you is years’ worth of resentment built up and settled like molten rock.

The hours you spend with yourself eventually blur into days that morph into weeks. You never see Seungkwan for more than an hour at a time, meeting only in the public eye or to keep each other posted on the situation. 

Somewhere, though, you think you feel the ice melting. His gaze on you is a bit warmer now, less disdainful than the first time you ran into him.

When the hour is late and you are alone, you find yourself toying with the gold band now resting on your finger. Seungkwan had given it to you last week, standing a bit awkwardly under the late afternoon sunlight.

“It was my mother’s,” he’d said quietly. The weight of the moment was enough; nothing else needed to be said as he easily slipped it on you, the metal cool against your skin.

You think about it often. With one sentence, you’ve turned such a meaningful item into a mere facade. There is no love between you and Seungkwan, at least not the way anyone would expect there to be. The relationship feels like a carefully calibrated hourglass. 

The second it’s over, the illusion will break.

The worst of it all is the public appearances, you realize. Like now, in the face of shining lights and endless smiles. This ball is in honor of you and your husband-to-be, your father had told you, but it feels like you’re being made to walk on thumbtacks for the whole kingdom to watch. To top it all off, your dress feels awfully restricting, and you want nothing more than peace and quiet.

Seungkwan is not so far from you, greeting people you can barely remember the names of. He looks painfully good tonight, dark brown hair pushed back in a way you’ve never seen before. His burgundy suit compliments him nicely, and you try to ignore how he’s managed to match certain tones of your dress.

Your eyes drift over to your brother and Seoyeon, calmly sitting at their places and watching the liveliness of the night. Seeing them exist in their own happy bubble makes you mourn what you can’t have. 

“Hey.” You jolt at the light touch of a hand on your shoulder, but upon turning around, it’s just your fiancé. “Doing alright?”

The sudden tenderness has you on edge, but you nod anyway. 

“Do you want to sit?”

“No, I’m okay,” you decline, looking everywhere, anywhere but his eyes. “You should dance, you know. That’s sort of the whole point of this thing.”

“But you’re not dancing,” Seungkwan huffs, lips pulled into a small pout.

“So?”

He looks down at you curiously now, mouth parting ever so slightly. “Why would I dance without you?”

That you don't know how to respond to. It reminds you too much of the way things used to be. A package deal, you used to call yourselves. 

Instead, you simply offer him your hand with a small smile. “Shall we, then?”

The feeling of his fingers intertwined with yours sends a rush of heat to your face that you can’t deny. This confuses you, he confuses you.

Or maybe it’s because you’ve had a little too much champagne tonight. You can’t tell which it is, and maybe it’s better that way.

Seungkwan looks a bit nervous as you pull him towards the dance floor, weaving in between swaying couples. You raise your eyebrows at him as if to ask, ‘What’s wrong?’

“I could not tell you the last time I had to do this,” he confesses shyly. “I really can’t dance.”

“All those years in the palace and nobody ever taught you?”

“Not the time.”

“Do as I say and you won’t fall on your face,” you instruct, pulling him a little closer to you. “Now put your right hand on my waist.”

Seungkwan just stares at you blankly. “You want me to what now?”

“Just do it,” you hiss, ignoring your heart doing double time. “Okay, good, just keep mirroring me now. There’s really nothing more to it.”

“Everyone makes this look a lot easier than it is,” he grumbles, nearly tripping over his own feet.

“Yes, you are far more nimble with a sword in your hand,” you tease lightly. “Spin me, would you?”

“As you wish,” he relents, twirling you carefully in time with the beat. There are onlookers now, cheering on your semblance of a happy couple, and you can feel everyone’s eyes on you. The music almost makes you forget everything that’s currently on your mind – no, nothing but the song and Seungkwan’s gentle hold on your waist to think about.

You make the mistake of meeting his eyes. Seungkwan freezes, your breath catching on the moment, and the next thing you know he’s stumbling over thin air, trying to keep himself on his feet.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” he’s apologizing to the people around him, giving you a pleading look that says I can’t do this. It’s hard to stifle the giggle that escapes your lips, and before you know it, you’re laughing with each other over the silliness of it all.

“You truly do have two left feet,” you remark, following him away from the dance floor. Seungkwan just chuckles in amusement.

“I did warn you before, you just chose not to believe me.”

“Well, my bad for trying to teach you something new today.”

“Trust me, your efforts were likely in vain.” He turns, eyes settling on you. There is something about this angle that makes him look a little ethereal. Maybe it’s the chandelier light illuminating the soft slope of his face.

“What is it?” you ask, when his gaze lingers a little too long. Seungkwan leans a little closer so you can hear him above the surrounding commotion. 

“You look beautiful,” he says, a tad delicately. “The maroon is a very nice color on you.”

“Oh. Thank you,” comes your unwieldy reply to the compliment that you weren’t expecting. “You clean up rather nicely, too.”

He was never good at taking any sort of flattery, and you recall this as you watch a light pink slowly coat his cheeks. It’s cute, you almost think, before kicking yourself for the stray notion.

“Your Lord Baek has been eyeing us all night,” he informs you, shedding his suit coat. “For what, I have no idea, but it’s a little weird, no?”

You scowl at him. “He’s not mine, don’t say that.”

“He would have been if it wasn’t for me ending up as your sacrificial lamb,” he points out, and you can’t argue against that. “I have half a mind to go over there and cause a scene.”

Your eyes widen with alarm. “Seungkwan, don’t do that!”

“I won’t,” he promises reluctantly, but you can tell it’s still bothering him for whatever reason. “When’s he leaving, anyway?”

“A few weeks, maybe?” You can’t remember exactly, but you must have overheard him speaking to your father about it a while ago. “In any case, soon. And thank god for it.”

Seungkwan hums in agreement, fingers idling on the edge of the table. He looks good in his vest, sleeves of his shirt rolled up to just below his elbows. You realize you like how his arms fill out the sleeves, unassumingly strong under the light fabric.

He takes another sip of his wine, pulling a face at the flavor, and looks at you with an impish glint in his eyes. “Do you want to leave?”

You give him a look. “Are you suggesting sneaking away from my own party?”

“Well, you definitely don’t look like you want to be here,” he notes, and he couldn’t be more correct. It makes you wonder how he still knows you so well after all this time. “So is that a yes, or…?”

“Yes,” you say immediately, already rising. “Please. Let’s get out of here.”

“Called it,” Seungkwan smirks, picking up his jacket and following as you slip through the crowd unnoticed. Your fingers just barely brush amidst the chaos, and you resist the urge to reach back and pull him along with you. 

The balcony is freeing, the gentle night breeze refreshing on your face. It’s a little cold, but you don’t really mind it just yet, ignoring it for the lovely view you’re taking in right now. 

“Feeling better?”

“A little.” You turn and look at him, mirroring your stance as he leans on the railing, observing you quietly. “Seungkwan, I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows raise in confusion as if to say, ‘What for?’

“All of this,” you say, vaguely gesturing towards the ballroom you’ve just left behind. “It’s a lot, and you didn’t ask for it.”

Seungkwan doesn’t meet the apologetic gaze you cast on him, stray strands of hair escaping his well-styled bangs. 

“It’s not the worst,” he points out. “Your father and brother don’t dislike me, which is what I was most worried about.”

“Are you kidding?” you ask, astonished. “That should be the least of your worries. They might like you more than me, honestly.”

He just laughs to himself, cheeks pink. “It’s nice of you to say that. Makes it a little easier to continue the act until our fake divorce.”

“We’re not married yet,” you remind him.

“Ah, right.”

It’s so easy to slip into a comfortable silence with Seungkwan, it always has been. You are not a woman of many words, and you like being able to bask in the quiet without constantly thinking of something new to say. 

In a way, not much has changed.

“So,” he starts, “how are we breaking this news to everyone?”

“I hadn’t thought that far yet,” you confess, pondering. “But everything’s gone by so fast, hasn’t it? A few months ago I was sort of doing my own thing and now I’m engaged to a guy who hates me.”

Seungkwan looks at you sharply, a peculiar expression on his face. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t need to lie to me, you know.”

“I’m being honest,” he insists, taking a step closer to you in earnest. “Was I upset when I found out what happened? Yeah, of course. Was it awkward that that was how we reconnected after a long time apart? Sure. But I can never, in good conscience, say that I hate you.” 

“That is certainly a relief,” is what you come up with after struggling for a few seconds. “Again, I’m really sorry for dragging you into this. At least you can enjoy the status of prince consort-to-be for a while,” you joke.

Seungkwan just frowns. “Y/N, I don’t care about the title. I care about you.”

The abrupt confession catches you off guard, more than you’d like to admit. You don’t know what to say to that, but you believe every word.

“We’ve been friends for so many years,” he continues with a soft smile. “You aren’t just anyone to me.”

Oh, you wish you had a wine glass in your hand right now. You can’t be sober for this, you think, as you return his warm demeanor while a strange feeling settles in your stomach.

“Good to know,” you manage. “That does ease my mind a little.”

“I’m glad.”

Seungkwan’s eyes shine under the moon’s soft glow. It takes you back to when you were a little girl, so hesitantly enamored by him and his heartfelt presence in your life. The wind stings your eyes, blowing away the memory, and then he is asking you if you want to go back inside.

“Go ahead,” you tell him, “I’ll be out in a bit.”

He lingers beside you still, like he’s wondering whether to insist or not. You place a careful hand on his arm.

“I just need a few minutes more of fresh air,” you explain. “I’ll join you soon, I promise.”

Wordlessly, he nods, slipping his jacket off his shoulders and draping it over your own. His fingertips barely graze your skin, but for some reason, you are hyper-aware of it.

“Stay warm,” he says, voice tinged with concern. “Please don’t catch a cold.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” He smiles again, a sun in the night’s darkness. 

The moment is tender, like if you don’t reach out and grab it, it’ll slip through your fingers. You refrain from saying anything in response as he leaves you to yourself, looking over your shoulder as he walks away.

“Don’t make me fall in love with you,” you murmur softly, but Seungkwan is already gone.

The day Jeonghan returns, there is a downpour from hell.

You’ve been cozying up in your usual nook of the library as it rains outside, curled up in one of the large armchairs with a rather interesting novel in your lap. Engrossed in the pages, you don’t notice anything amiss until you hear a familiar, silvery voice near your ear.

“Miss me yet, Your Highness?”

The sudden greeting almost has you jumping, and your first instinct is to turn around and slam your heavy book into the man’s face.

“Ow!” Jeonghan clutches his nose, face contorted in pain. Seungkwan stands behind him, leaning on a bookshelf and watching the scene with amusement. “What was that for?!”

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t know it was you!” You rise to your feet, checking him for any signs of serious injury. “You know I have violent reflexes, you knew better than to do that!”

“I come home from war and the first thing you do is attack me?!”

Seungkwan just shrugs from his spot. “Don’t look at me. I told him not to do it.”

“Very helpful,” Jeonghan huffs, poking and prodding at his now swollen nose. “What a warm welcome the two of you are giving me, really, considering how few and far between our reunions are.”

You soften at that, going in for a long overdue hug. He smells of rusted metal and fresh soil, likely from his long time spent on the battlefield. His hair is longer now, tied back and out of his face with a simple cloth string, and he looks a little more weary than last time.

Every time you see him again, he has changed somewhat, but also not quite at all. There will always be that inkling of mischief in his eye until the day he dies.

“So,” Jeonghan says, still nursing his sore nose, “the second I leave the kingdom is when you two decide to get engaged, huh?”

You and Seungkwan exchange a look that’s somewhere between surprise and alarm. He shakes his head ever so slightly, answering the question you didn’t need to ask. 

No, not just yet.

“And you didn’t even write to me!” Jeonghan sulks, giving the two of you a betrayed look. “I can’t believe you had the gall to fall in love and not tell me about it.”

“Um…” You are not quite sure what to say to that, considering it wasn’t what happened at all. “Surprise?”

“Anyway,” he continues, “I’m not so shocked. I knew this was bound to happen at some point.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” Seungkwan grumbles.

“Because it’s true! Don’t you know that Y/N here used to – Ow! Again?!”

You glare at Jeonghan as he recovers from your swift punch. “Keep your mouth closed and I might not attack you a third time.”

“You are insane,” he scolds you, massaging his arm. “I don’t even see what the problem here is.”

As a last desperate effort, you implore him with pleading eyes to stay silent. He doesn’t look like he understands what’s going on, but he relents anyway, leaving the subject of your childhood crush alone.

“What?” Seungkwan laughs, eyes darting between the both of you. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you blurt out, a little too fast. Jeonghan has to physically look down to conceal the laugh that’s threatening to bubble out of his throat at any moment, and you can tell. “Seungkwan, shouldn’t you be at training right now, anyways?”

“Well, yes, but Jeong–”

One pointed look from you is enough to silence him, it’s almost funny. “Yes ma’am,” he gives in ruefully. “I suppose I’ll see you after I get beat up to the point of exhaustion, then. Visit me on my deathbed.”

“Seungkwan, you’ll be fine.”

After a bit of grumbling, he finally leaves – you wait until he’s out of earshot before fixing Jeonghan with a pointed glare.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you little bastard.”

“Now that is hardly appropriate language for a princess,” he remarks, promptly receiving a well-aimed smack from you.

“I can’t believe you were about to reveal everything just then!”

“Why are you so pressed about it? He’s literally your fiancé!” Jeonghan’s face falls a little at your prolonged silence. “Oh. There is something you’re not telling me.”

“You’re either going to be so mad or you will laugh at me,” you say truthfully.

“I really hope it’s the latter. Please don’t hit me again,” he adds, ready to dodge you. “Alright, what is it?”

“Well, Seungkwan and I…” You wince, trying to word this correctly. “We aren’t actually engaged.”

Jeonghan just stares at you, confused. “What? But you’ve got a ring and everything!”

“I know,” you sigh, absentmindedly fiddling with the golden band, “but it’s all fake.”

He blinks once, then again, still processing. “So there will be no wedding?”

“Nope. We’re planning on calling it off right after Doyun departs.”

“Who’s that?”

“Long story.”

“I have time.”

Where do you even start? The past month and a half has been such a chaotic blur that you don’t know what to begin with. Agitated, you put your head in your hands, tugging at your hair. 

“You’re frustrated,” Jeonghan observes.

“Nice one, genius.”

“You know,” he says conversationally, “I don’t think you would be so upset if you didn’t have any feelings.”

You raise your head, distraught. “Feelings about what?”

Jeonghan gives you a look. “I think you know exactly who I'm talking about.”

His words take no more than a couple of seconds to click, gears shifting in your brain. You pin him with a stern glare.

“I do not like Seungkwan.”

“I didn’t even say it was Seungkwan,” he replies, a mischievous smile playing at his lips.

“But you were thinking it!”

“Well, you are not a psychic.”

A part of you wonders if you should never have confessed to your inconsequential crush all those years ago. After all, it had just been a result of confusing feelings at a young age, when you were just learning what being in love felt like.

But things are different now. You and Seungkwan have comfortably fallen back into your friendship, and it’s as easy as breathing. The last thing you need is old emotions resurfacing and ruining it all.

“That was a long time ago,” you say, not sure if you’re trying to convince Jeonghan or yourself. “It’s not like that anymore. Either way, I’m not sure how often I’ll see him after this whole thing is over.”

“More than you will see me,” he quips. “Really, Y/N, you know that he cares very much about you.”

“He didn’t talk to me when he was away for years,” you sulk.

He’s quiet – you know it’s because you’re right, and neither of you have an explanation for a question only Seungkwan can answer. 

But in the days that follow, Jeonghan’s words echo in your mind. You see Seungkwan less and less; every time you run into him, he seems to have an excuse on the tip of your tongue, and you can’t help but wonder what has happened.

You don’t say anything, though, with fear that you might scare him away if you bring it up. Instead, you leave it be, letting him stay at arm’s length and ignoring the dull ache you feel when he’s not around.

And sometimes, you wonder whether Jeonghan might have been onto something. The idea keeps you up at night, into the hours just before daylight knocks on your window. 

One night in particular has you strangely restless, unable to fall asleep even though the clock reads half past four in the morning. Your room feels awfully stuffy, like you’re cornered into one place, and the sudden need for fresh air overcomes you. Exhausted, you pull on some warmer clothes before slipping into the hall, heading for the gardens near the extensive training grounds.

You used to come here all the time when you were younger, too, always your safe haven. There is something about being surrounded by nature that puts you at ease. Like now, as you settle in your spot on the bench, chin in the palm of your hand.

However, your peace is abruptly interrupted at the sound of careful footsteps. You turn, and grimace at the sight of your unwelcome visitor. 

“It seems quite unsafe for a young woman to be out alone at this time,” Doyun says, approaching you slowly. 

“The palace is fairly secure, sir,” you reply curtly. “I wonder what you are doing roaming around before the sun is even up.”

“I am set to depart at dawn,” he informs you, taking a seat as well. Instinctively, you move over to put space between you and him. 

“Then I wish you a safe journey.”

There is an uncanny, knowing smile on his face. “Although, I might not need to leave so soon,” he drawls, “if I still have the opportunity to fulfill what I originally came here for.”

Your heart drops to your stomach. “What are you talking about?”

“I have to admit, you and your friend play the part of a happy couple amusingly well. Almost had me fooled,” he says. “But every act has a weak link.”

“Sir, this isn’t what you think it is –”

“Oh, but it’s exactly that. And it was a smart plan, too. It’s such a shame you couldn’t see it through.”

You fold in on yourself, somewhat of a shield against the early morning breeze. “What are you trying to say?”

“Just that your father might appreciate a heads up about your little arrangement.” The expression he’s wearing fills you with dread. “Don’t you think he deserves to know what’s happening under his nose?”

“Nothing is happening,” you reiterate. “Don’t involve yourself in things that do not require your input.”

“Does this not involve me?” he asks incredulously, shifting closer. “I’ve traveled all this way only to be abruptly shoved aside for a farce. Do you not think it’s unfair?”

You open your mouth to retaliate, but you’re beat to it.

“Get up.”

Seungkwan is, for lack of a better word, seething. His face is pulled into that serious frown he wears whenever he’s particularly displeased. You stand slowly, slightly confused as to how he knew you were here.

“No, not you,” he says, eyes softening as they flicker over to you for just a second. “Do I have to tell you twice? Get up.”

Doyun rises to his feet, a tiny smirk playing on his lips. “Is that how you speak to your guests?”

“Yes. Particularly those who wear out their welcome.” 

The tension is thick in the air. The feeling of being caught red-handed has somewhat settled, but you have no way of knowing what’s going to happen next.

“And who are you to tell me what to do?” Doyun snickers. “You are just a soldier boy with nothing to your name.”

“He’s much more than that,” you say sharply, “and I pity your ignorance to the fact.”

“Come on, Y/N –”

“That’s my fiancée you’re talking to. You will address her properly,” Seungkwan cuts in. His voice is harsh, and his anger is evident through the glare he’s currently sporting. “You are not fit to even speak her name.”

Caught up in the conversation, you hadn’t realized how much time has passed, but the first few rays of sunlight are beginning to peek out over the horizon. It’s getting a little warmer now, the gardens bathed in the minimal sunshine. 

Doyun just shakes his head. “You two are impossible to reason with,” he says. “If you cannot clearly see how bad of an idea this is, Your Highness, then I suppose I will have to cut my losses. But don’t expect any sort of cooperation if you find yourself running back.”

“Fine by me,” you snap, tired of the conversation already..

It’s almost comical, the way that he walks away with a vindictive air about him. You don’t even clock the sigh of relief you let out when his silhouette disappears in the morning fog, sinking back into the wooden bench.

“Are you okay?” Seungkwan takes the first hesitant step towards you, then another. You just scowl up at him in annoyance.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook,” you say menacingly. “I can’t believe you’ve been avoiding me for so long and this is how you resurface again.”

“I wasn’t –”

“Please, Seungkwan, I’ve had a long day and the sun is barely even up yet.” You rub your temples, a headache already starting to form. “How did you find me, anyway?”

“You’re always here.” He says it simply, like it’s just a fact of life. “I saw you on my way to the training grounds, but you weren’t alone, so I just wanted to see what was going on,” he grimaces, “and I’m glad I did.”

“Right,” you mutter. “I hope pretending to care about me has made you feel infinitely better about yourself.”

Seungkwan frowns. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me.”

“How many times do I need to tell you that I don’t hate you until you finally believe me?” He looks at you pleadingly, but what exactly he’s asking of you, you can’t really tell. “Do you honestly think I would have played along all this time if I disliked you at all?”

“Seungkwan, I’m tired.” You put your head in your hands, overwhelmed. “Doyun will be gone in a couple of hours, so you can pull out of this anytime you want.”

“Y/N –”

“Please.”

It’s ironic how even through your various disagreements it’s easy to understand each other’s unfinished sentences. Seungkwan releases a pained exhale.

“Fine,” he says softly. “We’ll talk later.”

A part of you feels guilty that no matter how much time or space you’ve needed, he has always been ready to give it to you, and all you do is take. Maybe after a few hours’ rest you’ll feel up to speaking to him again, you think, watching his retreating figure with a dull ache in your chest. 

The sun is up, and the morning dew is long gone. You have no choice but to face another day.

“You’re the biggest idiot to ever walk this earth.”

Those had been Yoon Jeonghan’s parting words to you. You felt like you might cry as you hugged him tightly, hoping he’d carry the fond memories through the next several months he would be away. Seungkwan had stood a little behind the two of you, just out of earshot, though you knew he was trying not to tear up, too.

“You might be right,” you mumbled, eyes on the ground. “It’s all going to crash and burn, and then he and I will never speak again.”

“Well, you never know. But if you don’t do anything about it, I will personally come find you and hunt you down.” Jeonghan chuckled, a tiny twinkle in his eye. “When I come back, you better have married the man for real.”

“Jeonghan!”

He had just laughed, ruffling your hair affectionately. “Trust me, Your Highness. I have a good sixth sense about these things.”

That had been several hours ago, and your last real conversation with Seungkwan was even further in the past. 

Things had gotten busy, and between the days that whirled by the two of you hadn’t properly talked. And it stings, knowing the distance between you and your best friend is slowly growing, but you don’t even know if he wants to hear from you right now.

There are so many things you want to say and not enough words. The emotions dance on the tip of your tongue, but no further. But for how long now?

No. 

You toss your book aside in frustration. Enough of the constant restlessness and anxiety; you can’t keep living like this, you realize, hoarding all the things you feel in your brain. The sudden burst of courage has you on your feet, nearly sprinting to your door.

When you open it, Seungkwan is already standing there.

“Oh,” you blurt out. His arm is still raised to the door, as if he was just about to knock, and his feet are frozen to the ground in front of you. He looks a little disheveled, like he’s been running. “Come in?”

Seungkwan hesitates for just a second before following you through the doorway. “Thank you,” he says gently. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

“No, you weren’t,” you say, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Did you need something?”

There is a moment’s silence. The words he hasn’t said yet hang suspended in the air, and you wait for them apprehensively.

“I figured we should come out with the truth now,” he says slowly, eyes darting everywhere but you. “You know, now that there aren’t any more reasons not to.”

You can’t put a name to the rush of emotion in your body. You should be relieved right now. Why aren’t you? A deep trepidation fills you instead, settling in your bones, but you don’t dare to put your finger on the reason behind it. 

“Right,” you say curtly. “We probably should.”

Seungkwan sighs, the exhaustion evident in his rounded shoulders. He pulls the stool he’s sitting on closer to you, placing a comforting hand on your wrist.

“It’s for the best,” he assures you. “You heard what Baek Doyun said that day.”

You’re already shaking your head before he finishes the sentence. “No, Seungkwan, he’s wrong.”

“You deserve every good thing in this universe,” he tells you, “every beautiful moment that exists in time. But I can’t give that to you, no matter how much I wish I could, and it hurts to be near you when it’s all so very impossible.”

Your breath catches in your throat at the honest, tender words. “What are you saying?”

Seungkwan smiles ruefully. “I am just the son of a soldier, Y/N. I have nothing more to offer you than the blood on my hands.”

“That is not true,” you say earnestly. “If it were, you know my father would never have agreed to all of this.”

“I don’t care about your father’s approval!” The words leave his mouth with a burst of frustration that surprises you. “The only opinion I choose to worry about is yours. You have to know that.”

“Why?”

The look in his eyes is one you could never forget – it’s vulnerable, with a hint of something else you can’t quite place. It scares and exhilarates you at the same time.

“Please don’t make me answer that question,” he whispers softly, mere inches from your face.

Something propels you to reach forward wordlessly, your hands gently cradling Seungkwan’s face. Come here, your fingertips say. Let me heal you. Come home.

Slowly, carefully, you bring your mouth to his. It’s everything one would think it shouldn’t be — hesitant, nerve wracking — but it’s right. 

When you pull away, he’s looking at you in awe.

“You just kissed me,” he says incredulously.

You reach for him, taking his hand in yours. It’s calloused and rough, and yet it feels just right against your own smooth palm.

“If the only thing you can give me is the blood on your hands,” you murmur, “then I gladly accept.”

For all of the next few seconds, Seungkwan does not move. And then, you feel his fingers encircling your wrist, his other hand coming up to carefully hold the back of your neck.

The kiss is both searing and soothing, somehow. He tastes faintly of tangerines, the citrus flavor tangy on your mouth, and his lips are impossibly soft as they move against yours. You could freeze time and stay here forever, you think, in the arms of a man who knows you like it’s the only way home. It’s something strangely akin to heaven on earth.

“I hope you meant every second of that,” you tell him, when you come up for air.

Seungkwan smiles — a bright, gorgeous thing that could put even the sun to shame. 

“Every second,” he answers. It’s a promise. “Every moment in time. For as long as you will let me.”

Dear Jeonghan,

You will be elated to know that I am no longer the idiot you proclaimed I was. Sure, I was being a little stupid, but aren’t we all sometimes? And you can’t say you aren’t, because I have many stories to prove you wrong.

In other news, Seungkwan and I have called off our engagement. For the time being, at least. We wanted to have some time to just be, you know? Take this relationship at our own pace, and make up for all the lost time we had spent dancing around each other instead. It turns out we were equally apprehensive about our feelings and ended up avoiding each other for weeks on end, can you believe that? 

Actually, you probably can. I bet you knew how he felt this whole time, you devil.

You know, I was a little afraid to tell Father and Seungcheol the truth, but they were quite understanding about it. It feels lighter now, too, without this secret to carry. You were right.

It’s summer now, and most everything seems right with the world. Only thing left is having you back here — Seungkwan will never say it to your face, but he complains about missing you nearly every day, as do I. 

Anyways, I’ll try and keep this short. Come back safely, okay? When Seungkwan and I do eventually start planning our wedding, we want you to be there for it. It wouldn’t be the same without you.

Okay, I will really leave you to it this time. Write us back when you can; it is always wonderful to hear from you.

Lots of love, 

Y/N (and Seungkwan!)

if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading, your support means a lot to me! much love, ashi xx

[monolotus]

𓂃⊹⋆˚⁺ Lobster. ✧◝

Where Seokmin is too nervous meeting your (rich) parents.

The way you met Seokmin was the perfect plot for a romcom. You met his teammate, Seungkwan, while trying to get him to work with Lee Youngji, one of the artists under the company you were working for, in the marketing department.

Once Nothing much prepared started, you were so excited to get multiple people on the program- especially Seventeen, after seeing them in so many variety shows through the years.

The first guest had been Hoshi, amazing as expected. The video had received a lot of positive feedback, and your manager had been more than happier because of it.

Later, it had been Joshua and Dk, and you think is your favorite episode to date. Both hadn’t stopped interacting with the staff present, even giving you slices of pizza and drinks. Joshua was sitting closer to you, noticing the glances you would steal from his teammate.

Sadly that night you weren’t able to catch up with either member, besides the short small talk you could come up with in between scenes of the show. Fast forward to a couple of days later, where Seungkwan (whom you had kept a close, but quite formal friendship) had sent a weird message, like he was exhausted from listening to Seokmin rant about something you couldn’t quite comprehend, as the text had multiple errors.

As you reply with a “Seungkwan? You good?”, the blonde man decided to sent a picture of Seventeen’s main vocalist, with the caption “He’s too scared to say he wants to take you out.”

Lucky you for seeing that text, as only a couple of seconds later it was deleted.

Seokmin, your loud introverted boyfriend, was now nervously looking at his clothing from every angle in front of the full body mirror, being invited to spend the weekend with your parents was a huge deal for the singer. Sure, he had briefly met them before, but this was a whole new level- He felt this was the perfect opportunity to bond with your parents, and prove how good of a boyfriend (and son-in-law) he could be.

“Princess, have you seen my car keys? i can’t find them” he asked you, scratching the nape of his neck. Where were the damn keys?

“Ah, babe, look under the shelf. But there’s no need for you to drive us.”

“Then how are going to get there? Because those bags are not carrying themselves.” He had pointed towards both, your suitcase and a gym bag. Who needs so many clothes for a weekend in their parent’s home? Only you.

Seokmin really couldn’t believe his eyes. This big ass car was supposed to drive you both to the countryside? Did you pay for it? Was it an uber?

No, it couldn’t be an uber. You had smiled warmly to the chauffeur, putting your hands on both sides of his arm as you greeted the man.

The ride wasn’t really loud. Seokmin too immerse in his thoughts, and you too immerse in getting the perfect position to sleep for the next forty minutes of the drive.

Once arrived to the private neighborhood, you felt Seokmin moving you a bit, trying to wake you up.

“Jagiya, i think the uber took the wrong route” he whispered, and you tried to not laugh too loud.

“No, baby, this is my neighborhood” you whispered back, holding Seokmin’s face between your hands, leaving a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Ah, you lived in the countryside? I thought that was just your grandparents.”

“For a while, before moving to the city and meeting my favorite person… Youngji” You laughed out loud, seeing your boyfriend’s face go from a pure smile, filled with love, to the most puppy-kicked pout you could ever see.

Before you could kiss him some more, the car parked in front of classical colonial house- Two floors, too white and way too long for a single pair of grandparents (and your parents, on the long weekends)

Seokmin helped you out of the car, and your heart couldn’t take the expression on his face from seeing the house.

“Is pretty, isn’t it?” you murmured getting close to him, holding his bicep as you knew the help would take care of the luggage.

“Princess, you lived here?” Big eyes looked down on you, letting a low whistle scape his mouth.

You were so excited to hang out with your family, being so long since you last saw them all together.

“Ah, baby! Don’t be shy, come inside. Is not like they are going to bite you!” It was funny from your point of view, the singer could see that from the way you would bite your lower lip, trying to contain a laugh.

‘Maybe not bite, but they sure could sue me for anything’ Was his line of thought while you gave him a little house tour. Seokmin didn’t know much about current artists outside of his own industry, but having learn a thing or two from his members, he knew the paint that was just prettily sitting in the hallway was a Sea Hyun Lee paint, who just had that, randomly in their house?

He was getting nervous. He had met your parents really randomly, actually. You both had been walking nonsensically alongside the han river, when you saw them. The meet was very short, as both you and your mom wanted to get home. But, Seokmin didn’t get the impression your parents had that kind of money!

Once the home tour had finished, Seokmin was guided to the patio, where your parents were chatting.

“Darling! Oh, you look radiant! Those creams I sent you cleared your skin so well!” Your mom was quick to hug you, as your boyfriend just stood there, as the chill guy he is -no-.

After a short talk with your parents, you were coming back to his side, as he bowed to your parents.

“Dad, you remember Seokmin, right?”

“Seokmin, my boy! How have you been? I saw you in the news. You are becoming quite the hot thing, uh?” You were amazed, as you saw how the tips of your boyfriend’s ears became more and more red.

“Ah, sir! Well… Thank, thank you sir! Er… I think Seventeen is becoming a hot thing, sir, yes.” Seokmin could hear your chuckle, and his blush only became more prominent.

~~~

“Seokmin, sweetheart, tell me. Which meat would you like for dinner? We have seafoods, obviously. Some shrimp, some lobster or even whelk! Or are you more into wagyu? Our chef, Robert, could totally do some for dinner if you’d prefer that!” Your mother was so polite, bless her heart.

And also Seokmins stomach, he hadn’t stop eating the entire day. He didn’t remember the last time he had whelk, less alone wagyu! In fact, he doesn’t even know if he’s had some in all his twenty-eight years of life.

“Mh. I really want lobster. Baby, please?” Seokmin could kiss you, marry you on the spot. During the day, you hadn’t stop saving his ass. Your parents asked about his favorite artists? You were quick with a story about the last time you went to a museum. Your parents asked about his background? You talked about this beautiful set of jewelry his mother had gifted you.

And now, you were saving him from talking about the best chicken breast he’s had.

“Ah, sure, princess. Lobster is good, yeah, I mean, it goes perfect with butter rice, right? Really good, yes.” You weren’t used to your boyfriend talking so slow, paying attention to every word that would come out of his mouth.

“Yes! Also, with pesto pasta? Ah, my mouth is watery just from saying it. Mom, please?” You were standing up, and Seokmin was quick to follow you whenever you would leave the room.

Yes, he wanted to leave a good impression to your parents, But he barely knew who Picasso was, so a chat about Sea Hyun Lee wasn’t his best option.

~~~

“Baby, you need to relax.” You told him, your hands on both sides of him.

“I didn’t… I try… How rich are you?” He wasn’t supposed to ask that. You both very clear with the expenses, as you had, recently, kinda moved in with your boyfriend and Vernon.

“Baby! How can you ask that?” You were laughing. And he had seen the tiktoks, you had the same laugh as the rich people on the internet.

Is not that he felt uncomfortable around money or rich people, he just didn’t expect you to have that much money. Now he understood perfectly why you didn’t flinch while giving him one of the latest Rolex watches as a present. Or how you would put your debit card beside Seungcheol’s when the group and their partners would eat out.

He felt kinda small, actually. And for sure you saw how his expression melted a little, a pout appearing onto his face.

“Oh, my sweet, beautiful baby. I didn’t expect you to act like that” you murmured, leading your hands behind his neck, while leaving a soft kiss on his lips. “My grandparents had money, yes. And my dad did some good investment in his thirties. But, seeing from your point of view, I can totally see why you would feel so awkward. I’m sorry, baby. I should’ve given you a heads up about…this.”

“No, no, princess. You shouldn’t apologize. I just didn’t expect it. When I saw your parents, they saw really chill, that’s it… But please don’t make me choose the menu for dinner. Last time I ate lobster I destroyed it with a hammer.”

˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹-˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹-˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹

more / asks & request are open!

[miabebe]

Masterlist

| Seventeen | Monsta X |

Series

Reverse Tropes - One Shot Series of popular tropes turned upside down (rated m)

(Taglist)

Seungcheol - Too many beds | 13K |

Choi Seungcheol may be your parent's best friend's son, your next door neighbour for 20 odd years and the one face you saw every damn time, every damn where but that didn't mean the two of you wanted anything to do with each other. But a business trip - one room, three nights, and seven beds - might just be what it takes to change it all....

Jeonghan - Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss | 29k |

The cost of one harmless prank? The city's biggest mafia leader taking refuge in your house. And maybe that wouldn't have been such a problem if he wasn't so hot and you weren't such a coward, but apparently, fate just does things for the ✨plot ✨ sometimes...

Joshua - Really nice guy who hates only you

Jun - Fake amnesia

Hoshi - Bet to make someone fall out of love

Wonwoo - Academic rivals who are fighting to rank last in class

Woozi - Soulmates fated to kill each other

Seokmin - Everyone thinks you're fake dating when you really are dating

Mingyu - Too much communication

Minghao - Divorce of convenience

Seungkwan - True hate's kiss

Vernon - Your mom bought a seventeen member

Dino - Dating your enemies sibling

Camp Seventeen - Series with Seventeen as Greek Demigods (rated m)

| Prologue | Character Profiles | (Taglist)

(Ch. 1) Dildo of Dionysus It's been a week since you stepped foot in Camp Seventeen - as you navigated the days trying to wrap your head around the 13 boys, one's touch and another's voice start to become a bit too bothersome….

(Ch. 2) Aphrodisiacs of Aphrodite As you delve deeper into the world of the demigods, a party throws you spiralling down a road less taken. While it seems there's one member who may be able to help you, there's another you want to lend a hand to. And more.

(Ch.3) Apollo's Anthem As the days in camp seventeen unfold the many burdens you had tucked away in your heart, you dive into the sorrows you had presumably left behind. Thankfully (or not) a musical moment and a menacing monster serve as unforeseen distractions.

(Ch.4) Night at Nyx As many truths come forth, life on camp as you know it begins to change. After living a life which was never your choice, you now had to choose between family and love. But more importantly, would they choose you?

Tales of Time - Series of age old tales with a twist (rated m)

Choi Seungcheol - The Legend of the Sea | Epilogue |

"You're crying? You must be turning Human, the Merfolk don't cry" "Of course we do. Why do you think the Sea is nothing but salt?"

| Yoon Jeonghan | Hong Jisoo | Wen Junhui | Kwon Soonyoung | Jeon Wonwoo | Lee Jihoon | Xu Minghao | Lee Seokmin | Kim Mingyu | Boo Seungkwan | Chwe Hansol | Lee Chan |

Halloween Hearsay - mini series of thrillers for Spooky Season (rated m) - Completed.

Choi Seungcheol - The Intruder's Eye

Was it really love if it didn't include just a little madness? What was love if it didn't cross the line? And how was it love if it didn't make one want to keep an eye at all times?

Yoon Jeonghan - Anything and Always

Was it really love if it didn't include just a little madness? What was love if it didn't cross the line? And how was it love if it wasn't regardless of anything and longer than always?

Hong Jisoo - Calendar Killer

Was it really love if it didn't include just a little madness? What was love if it didn't cross the line? And how was it love if it didn't care whether it was the red of love and the red of blood?

Scenarios

Where you belong (3k) One who showed everyone who you belonged to, one who showed you that you couldn't possibly belong to anyone else. Fiancé! Seungcheol × reader, Fiancé! Jeonghan x reader

Where you return (7k) One who you fell in love with, one who fell in love with you. Fuckbuddy! Mingyu x reader, Fuckbuddy! Wonwoo x reader

Where you're convenient One who you married because of a mutual deal, one who you married because of an accident and one who you married because of a promise. Husband! Jisoo × reader pt 1 (6.5k) Husband! Seokmin × reader pt 2 (11k) Husband! Jihoon x reader pt 3 (coming soon)

Imagines

Christmas with Seventeen Seventeen and their little ways of celebrating Christmas with you!

[irlvernon-moved]

zip-lining with vernon and seungkwan (a.k.a. stoic father and excited son)

[kim-jongin-s]

svt fic recs (mostly nc-17; jeongcheol, minwon, multis + other)

JEONGCHEOL

"you don't understand (you should never know)". f1!au. oneshot, 2k. nc-17.

Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team's Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan are in the midst of battling it out for the Formula One World Drivers' Championship.

"the necessity of living". omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh. oneshot, 3k. nc-17.

"Jeonghan," Seungcheol says, strangled.

Jeonghan closes his eyes. Oh god, he thinks hysterically. Not this again.

"beginning song". soulmate!au. oneshot, 17k. pg-13. ♡

He’d thought, when he was younger, that his feelings for Jeonghan would eventually fade with time. But time seems to have done the opposite. Seungcheol isn't sure which version of reality might be worse: one where Jeonghan isn't his soulmate, or one where he is.

"ready to love". oneshot, 20k. nc-17.

“Felt nice, right?” Jeonghan murmurs benignly. Warning bells sound in the depths of Seungcheol’s consciousness. He’s attuned to Jeonghan’s brand of troublemaking; nothing good could possibly follow that tone of Jeonghan’s voice.

"eulalia (silver grass)". wolf!au. oneshot, 20k. nc-17. ♡

There’s a new scent in the pack’s hanok. It’s getting under Jeonghan’s skin.

"one step closer". royalty!au. 5 chapters, 132k. nc-17.

The West nations crown prince Yoon Jeonghan loses his position, land, and all of his pride in a war with the East nation's Emperor Choi Seungcheol. The next thing he knows, he's being referred to as betrothed of the Emperor.

MINWON

"miss me?". oneshot, 1k. nc-17.

Where they miss each other.

"here kitty kitty". hybrid!au: cat!ww, panther!mg. twoshot, 26k. nc-17. ♡

Panther hybrid Mingyu visits a housecat hybrid village and causes quite the stir.

"sweet accident". au, age gap, prime minister!mg. 12 chapters, 34k. nc-17. ♡

“Jeon… Wonwoo… age twenty…three…college… student… no… gag reflex. Status…very… available.”

MULTI

"rewind and repeat". s.coups/jeonghan/joshua. age gap, omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh, alpha!js. oneshot, 3k. nc-17. ♡

There is shame, in letting men nearly ten years younger than him tumble into his bed. Jeonghan almost feels guilty.

"synced threes". wonwoo/seokmin/mingyu. oneshot, 5.6k. nc-17. ♡

“This is what you two do on a night without me?”

"cognitive dissonance". jeonghan/svt. au, age gap, professor!jh. oneshot, 7k. nc-17 (pls check the tags!).

“Mr. Yoon…?” Jeonghan looks up again, his stare unfocused. His mouth is so pink Soonyoung can nearly imagine the heat of it against his own.

"it takes three to tango". s.coups/wonwoo/dino. au. oneshot, 15k. nc-17. ♡

There was no room in their love for a third person, of that, Wonwoo was entirely sure, but there was plenty of space for a third in their bed, and Chan would fit quite nicely.

"being a beta". s.coups/jeonghan/joshua. omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh, beta!js. twoshot, 24k. nc-17.

Hong Joshua enjoyed being a beta. Being a beta meant a quiet, simple life without being subjected to biology in the way alphas and omegas often were. Too bad he was deeply in love with an omega who craved an alpha mate.

OTHER

"an appropriate distance". seokgyu. omegaverse: omega!sm, omega!mg. oneshot, 6.6k. nc-17.

It's like this: Seokmin helps out with Mingyu’s heat, but not the other way around. Maybe Seokmin is the one holding Mingyu at arm’s length, but it's better this way.

"i'm sorry every song's about you". junhao. band!au. oneshot, 10k. nc-17.

The bass of their songs is always what sticks with Minghao the most. Junhui sticks with Minghao too.

"sip on your lips". sooncheol. au, age gap, single dad!sc. oneshot, 11k. nc-17.

Soonyoung finds it a little too hard to say no to the hot single dad across the hall.

"of the color gray". wonchan. fantasy!au: demon!ww, witch!dn. oneshot, 16k. nc-17.

Chan accidentally summons and binds himself to a lust demon. It turns out better than expected.

"son of nyx". verkwan. spy!au. 3 chapters, 31k. pg-13.

Hansol Vernon Chwe is eighteen when he decides to follow Seungkwan to the end of the earth, even if it means becoming a contracted agent with no guaranteed future.

[eomayas]

the boy is mine • lee chan

pairing: lee chan x f!reader, (new) established relationship

genre: smut, 18+ MINORS DNI!!!!

warnings: smut, pwp (kinda!), unprotected p in v (do not be like them), oral (m & f), fingering, dirty talk, use of the term ‘slut’ a lot but it’s ~endearing~, chan is super sweet and very in like with reader

a/n: unedited! chan has been clouding my brain bad!!!

the tension between you and chan was palpable—at least it felt that way. you wonder if anybody else could sense what was passing between the two of you, or if it was a secret that only the two of you were in on. whatever; either way you didn’t care. all you wanted was chan.

you cling to him, your hand wrapped around his bicep and head on his shoulder while he talks to seungcheol and minghao. seungcheol smiles at you two like a parent witnessing his sons first relationship, and each time you and chan do something cute, you catch minghao and cheol share a look.

it’s sort of how they all look at you and chan. most of it is because they think he’s a loser (endearing) and can’t really believe that he got someone like you to agree to date him. they think you’re cute and sweet, a bit innocent compared to their youngest member. they feel like they have to clean their act up when you come around, not wanting to taint your ears with unpleasant, male conversations.

if only they knew how you let chan fuck you stupid multiple times a week, to the point where you find is difficult to stand, or even look at him because you’re mildly embarrassed by how you acted like a little slut for him. oh well. they can believe what they want.

“yo, we’re about to start the movie!” soonyoung calls from the living room. seungcheol an minghao shuffle out of the kitchen and you begin to follow them until you’re tugged back by your boyfriend.

chan pulls you towards him by the waist, a small smirk on his face when you plant your hands against his chest. you look into his eyes and smile, heart beat getting faster by the second, and then place your lips on his. like most of your kisses, it gets heated quickly, tongues clashing and chans hands sliding down to grip your ass.

your body feels like it’s on fire, his touch searing and making you feel hot. if people weren’t waiting on you, you’d stay in this position all night.

pulling back, you gently bite down on his bottom lip, pointedly locking eyes with him. chan can’t help the blood that rushes to his crotch and the firm squeeze he gives your ass. “yo! come on!” soonyoungs voice interrupts the two of you and chan rolls his eyes extremely hard, making you giggle before you grab onto his hand and pull him out of the kitchen and to the living room where all 12 of his friends lay spread out.

there’s a space on the couch left open for the two of you and you both crowd onto it, chan sitting on the outside of you so you’re pressed against the arm. seungkwan clicks play on the movie and you curl up in chans side.

for the first few minutes of the movie, you and chan keep your hands to yourself, though the feeling of his weight on you is making focusing on the movie less of a priority. when seokmin gets up and comes back with a stack of blankets and tosses one to everybody in the room. the moment chan opens it and drapes it over the two of you, all resolve you once had shatters, now determined to sneak out of here and get him alone.

first, you innocently place a hand on his leg. he looked down at you and you give him a soft smile that ears you a kiss on your cheek. a few moments later, you move your hand up a bit higher, lightly brushing over his semi-hard dick. chan looks down at you once more, but this time you ignore him and play coy.

chan presses a long kiss against your temple, draping an arm around your waist and holding onto your hip. “channie, i’m tired,” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes. he locks eyes with you and you smile an all too familiar smile that makes him twitch in his sweats. “i wanna go to bed.” you fully palm him through his pants and he sniffs to mask the breath of air he sucks in.

seconds later, chan is standing up and announcing that the two of you are going to sleep, and all but drags you upstairs before you can say goodnight to everyone. jeonghan throws you a knowing look and your cheeks flush. there wasn’t a care in your body about who really believed what you and chan were going to bed, as long as you ended up in chans bed within the next few seconds.

once you get upstairs into chans bedroom, you’re all over him, hands sliding up under his shirt while you kiss on his neck. “needy,” chan breathes out a laugh and runs a hand through his hair, letting out a small whimper when you suck a hickey onto his neck. you push his shirt up to signal him to take it off, and he pulls back to oblige.

his bare form is one you haven’t truly gotten used to; each time you see him like this you feel thirsty. it doesn’t help that he’s constantly working out, too. “you’re hot,” your murmur, dragging your acrylics over his toned abdomen. chan chuckles and grabs ahold of your face, pulling you into a heated kiss.

sliding his hands down your body, he gropes you in all the places that make you pant against his mouth. his lips never leave your mouth while his hands frantically try to tear you out of your shirt. “channie,” you breathe, lightly shoving him off of you to take off your top and subsequently your bra.

he’s back on you once you’re bare on top, pushing you down onto the bed and kissing every bare inch of skin. “channie, i need you,” you sigh, back arching when he suckles on one of your nipples and plays with your other breast. you tangle a hand in your hair, nails digging nicely into his scalp.

a trail of saliva follows chan when he pulls back from your breast. “yeah? you need me?” he asks patronizingly, fingers hooking into the waistband of your leggings and tugging them. you press yourself flat into the bed and spread your legs for him once your legs of material. “such a little slut for me.” he says, truly endeared by you.

“always,” you say, buzzing in anticipation. chan licks his lips as he looks down at your panty clad mound. dragging a finger down the slit of your covered core, he smiles when the material sticks to you. “channie.” you whine, opening your thighs wider from him, urging him to touch you.

“slut,” he groans, pushing your panties to the side and dragging his finger through your slick folds before dipping it into your hole. he slowly pushes it in and out of you, adding a second finger. “so wet. and all for me? it’s all for me, right baby?” he coos, speeding up his ministrations, biting his lip when you clench around his fingers.

“yes, channie,” you pant, chest rising and falling quickly. “oh.” he curls his fingers inside of you, your thighs closing around his his hand. chan forces your legs open and slips in a third finger, trying to thoroughly stretch you out.

clenching around his fingers, the sounds coming from you mouth increase from quiet whimpers to louder moans. it urges chan on, his goal tonight to get you to come once on his fingers, a second time on his mouth, and third time on his dick. he can tell he’s about a 1/3 of the way there with the way you suck his fingers inside and cry out his name.

his dick throbs in his pants, but he’s more concerned with making you feel good first, ever the pleaser. “you gonna come for me, baby? are you gonna be a good girl and come for me?” his voice is soft though firm. there’s authority in his tone and ever his good girl, you whine out a ‘yes’. “you can do it baby. you’re my good girl, right? my good, little slut?” his thumb makes its way to your clit, rubbing slow circles against it.

your toes curl and your back arches off the bed at his words. your core pulses and chan rubs harsher circles against your nub, the stimulation causing your jaw to fall open. “ch-chan!” you cry, harsh pants leaving your mouth.

“that’s it, pretty,” he murmurs, a satisfied smile taking over his face as you unravel, your arousal gushing out onto his hand. “good job, baby. such a good girl for me.” chan pulls his hand out from in between your legs and sticks his fingers in his mouth, humming as he sucks your juices off.

you watch in mild astonishment, heat flooding your cheeks when he smiles at you. you pull your underwear off and toss them onto the floor below, your core fully on display for him. chan grabs your calves and drags you to the end of the bed and gets on his knees in front of you.

a whimper leaves your mouth when chan buries his head in between your legs, tongue flicking over your clit and licking up the rest of your arousal. he dips his tongue into your hole, dragging the muscle through your folds. “f-fuck!” you shriek, eyes squeezing closed.

chan keeps your legs open with just his shoulders, hooking his arms around your thighs to hold you down when you try to wriggle away from him. his tongue expertly licks your core, the sounds lewd and loud in your ears. “ch-channie, i c-can’t take i-it,” you cry out, thighs beginning to shake.

your next orgasm washes over you without much warning, loud cries of his name leaving your mouth. chan continues to eat you through your orgasm, vision going spotty from the overstimulation. “ch-chan, stop,” you pant, legs going limp against his shoulders.

arousal coats his face, his mouth and chin glistening in the light. you pant below him and he strokes your leg to bring you back to him. “baby? im right here,” chan says, voice soft. you keep your eyes closed but hold out a hand to him, which he grabs and kisses the back of. “you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

the praise makes you smile and crack an eye open. the smile of your sweet, sweet boyfriend greets you and you can’t help but return it. “hi,” you say, voice scratchy.

“hey, beautiful.”

you tug him down to you and he braces himself with one arm, hand planted on the bed near your head. his strength turns you on, to say the least, and you pull him down to your lips by the back of his neck. you don’t care that he just are you out and you can taste it, all you want is him. you make out lazily and he lowers his hips to yours, his dick heavy against your inner thigh.

pulling back, you glance down to look at the tent in his sweats. “take those off,” you say, pushing at the waistband. chan stands and makes a show of taking off his sweats but leaving his boxers on. you scramble onto your knees and crawl over to him, hands flying to tear him out of the barrier.

“you really are a little slut,” he says, eyes darkening when you push his boxers down and grab ahold of his dick. “get down on your knees for me.” it’s a demand you have no problem complying with, quickly getting off the bed and onto the floor before him. he peers down at you and lovingly strokes your face before gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail. “suck.”

you take his dick into your hands, thumb rubbing over the tip and spreading the cum that leaks out, over the head. chan lets our air through his nose, heart pounding when you place a kiss to the tip. your eyes flick up to look at him and he twitches in your hand, his will power threatening to crumble.

the smile you give him is angelic. the way you take him into your mouth is nasty. the way you take him until you gag and tears prick in your eyes goes straight to his ego. “shit,” he pants, grip tightening on your hair.

he’s not even fully in your mouth, a little over half way, and you stroke what doesn’t fit. tears fill your waterline as you move him in and out of your mouth, cheeks hollowed as you breathe heavily out of your nose. chan groans above you, moaning out your name and calling you his good girl, his little slut.

he’s close and it’s evident in the way his knees buckle and how he catches himself against the mattress. you pull your mouth off of him with a pant, saliva dripping down your chin, mixing with a few tears that slip down your cheeks. you pant as your pump his shaft, playing with his balls to bring him to his release. “fuck, fuck, fuck!” he whimpers, hips jerking and eyes squeezing shut.

opening your mouth, you stick out your tongue and jerk his dick until he comes, cum shooting out onto your tongue. he aims to get most of it into your mouth, some getting on your chin and chest. chan squints down at you, whimpering when you close your mouth and swallow his seed. it’s not your first time and definitely won’t be your last, but he’ll never get tired of seeing you do it.

you wipe whatever up of his cum was left with your finger, and lick it off, not wanting to waste a drop. “need to feel you,” chan grumbles, dominant side melting as he pulls you off the floor and pushes you down onto the bed. he hovers over you and kisses you deep, holding his dick in his hand and lining it up with your entrance. “you’re so good to me.” his babbling isn’t new—he always gets like this at some point whenever the two of you have sex. you find it cute, especially when he tries to be rough with you.

a high pitched moan leave your mouth as he presses his head into you. “i’ve got you,” he murmurs, kissing your neck as he continues to slowly feed you inches. he kisses you to drown out your soft cries, and massages one of your breasts. you hold onto his shoulders, sharp nails digging into his skin.

once he’s fully inside, he gives you a second to adjust. your breathing is labored and you clench around him tightly. “fuck, channie!” you squeak, blowing out a breath. he rubs your hip and peppers light kisses along your jaw and face. “you’re so big.” you whine it like it’s a problem, but it’s a top 10 thing about him—it might be number 9.

chans previous demeanor finds him nearly as quickly as it left. “but you can take it,” he says, pushing himself up onto his hands. “you’re going to take it.” he starts out with shallow, slow strokes to ease you into it. “fuck, you’re so tight!” he grunts, hips starting to rock into you at a quicker pace.

“oh, chan!” you cry, fingers tangling into the sheets. his hips snap against yours brutally, the air leaving your lungs each time he pushes into you. “fuck, baby! harder!” you moan out, head spinning.

“harder?” he pants, hair falling into his eyes. you cry out when he pulls all the way out and slams into you, hands holding onto your hips tightly enough to bruise. “fucking slut!”

that familiar, tight feeling in your stomach builds. chan can tell by the vice grip you have on him and the way your face is screwed up in pleasure. he pants heavily, eyes trained on your chest as your breasts bounce each time he fucks into you. “i-im close!”

chan grabs one of your thighs and hooks it onto your hip, his thrusts slowing down only to become more pointed and deliberate, an ‘oh’ eliciting form you with each pound. “gonna come for me a third time, pretty?” his voice wavers as he talks to you, the grip on your thigh tight. “shit, y/n! fuck.” sweat slides down his temple and drips down to his chin and drops off to the bed.

“i-i’m coming!” you cry as you spasm around him, your third orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. your moans are loud, crude, and downright pornographic. anybody on the second floor is guaranteed to hear you by now.

your sounds blow up chans ego even more than you already have tonight, and soon he’s pulling out of you to release onto your stomach, praises falling from his lips. “fuck, baby. you’re so good to me. my pretty little baby,” he babbles, collapsing on top of you. you wrap your arms around him and squeeze onto him, lightly stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. “thank you.” he sighs, kissing your jaw.

“channie, i can’t breathe,” you say, pushing at his shoulder. he quickly rolls off you and lies flat on his back, his hand making his way to rest on your thigh. “channie.” you say softly, rolling onto your stomach and resting your chin on his shoulder.

he gazes down at you and chuckles, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. he knows that tone, knows that look and can see that you’re not done with the night. he sits up and grabs a pillow from the top of his bed and lifts you up by the hips, shoving a pillow beneath you.

“my good, little slut.”

[babyleostuff]

౨ৎ voicemails joshua hong leaves you while he’s on tour - fluff (with a pinch of angst), established relationship, gn!reader (pet names used: darling) warnings: one slightly dirty joke

...one: i saw you called me, sorry i didn’t pick up darling, we were busy shooting some stuff. wait (pause) it’s past midnight at home, what aren’t you sleeping? get your ass to bed right now

...two: now i see why you’re always so pissed when i ghost you, call me back now! or text me. or send me a picture, i don’t care

...three: how mad would you be if i shaved my head? i think i'm going through an existential crisis or something. but that’s because you’re not here with me. (pause) anyway, dino and seungkwan were arguing again and i wanted to record it for you, but i left my phone somewhere

...four: i went for a walk today and it was so beautiful, you wouldn’t believe how nice it was there! but then, for the rest of the walk, all i could think about was how wonderful it would be if you were here with me

...five: i miss you so much today. how are you? how was your day. call me back as soon as you can darling

...six: my mum just called and the first thing she asked for was you. not going to lie, i felt a bit offended. you're lucky i love you though. she also said something about coming to korea but now i'm not so sure if i want her to come here because i feel like she'll be all over you and forget about me. her son. stop stealing my mum from me

...seven: did you like the accessories i put on for the encore today? i took some photos for you, but i'm not sure how they turned out since i was in such a hurry, i literally almost forgot about putting shoes back on, so if they're blurry i'm sorry

...eight: it sucks sleeping alone. wish you were here

...nine: make sure to dress warmly today, and i mean it! if i hear even a single sneeze when i come home I'm going to tie you to the bed and not in the way you like

...ten: just a week left. we can do it darling

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111

[natalicss]

i really wanna write a g-dragon x american popstar!reader lil one-shot drabble about her meeting booseoksoon!! but in case i don’t write it here’s the basics

like maybe when they filmed the episode she was visiting jiyong and so he introduced them (maybe she’s a seventeen fan idk) & hoshi IS TWEAKING because he’s had a crush on reader for a couple years. and bss have NOOOO idea jiyong and reader are dating (because it’s a secrettttt) so they’re lowkey flirting with her & stuff. it’s mostly innocent & unserious and they’re just being goofy but jiyong for the first time is a WEEEE bit insecure and jealous because…it’s hoshi, dk, and seungkwan. they’re charming and funny and loud and match up with readers energy, they’re closer to her age than he is, etc. also…have you seen them? they’re so fine. hoshi?? i go feral.

reader is starstruck tbh cause she’s wanted to meet seventeen members for EVER and hoshi is her fav so she’s ESTATIC. kinda oblivious to the crush. she’s said for a while that seventeen is her dream collab, she’d love to write a song with woozi, have hoshi and vernon on a track, how she would love to sing a song with dk and seungkwan, etc etc, so the fact her boyfriend is INTRODUCING her to them???

and it’s just a chaotic funny mess because…is bss and reader. jiyong should’ve known better. they also doooo inform bss that they’re together but it’s a secret. luckily it gets outed a few months later cause otherwise hoshi would’ve said something on a live and then gotten his ass kicked by seungkwan.

and then cut to him, taeyang, and daesung talking about them and he adds like “y/n is loud…but i think she’s louder with them. they’re like secret twins or something” and he’s just talking about how they were bouncing off the walls and it felt like he was witnessing a different side of his girlfriend. like…how she is with daesung times a billion he loved it, but it was A LOT.

and it starts this bit in the kpop world that reader is the honorary 4th member of bss. some people ship her and hoshi because of his cute lil crush. lots of edits of her and dk being chaotic besties, cute fluffy edits of her and seungkwan (she treats him like her son even tho he’s older). like it’s this whole thing.

reader starts calling him grandpa-dragon after all of this