#sometimes you gotta do the ho thing

[fereldanwench]

like 6 years or so ago, i went to cancel my adobe CC plan bc i have the one that comes with 95% of their apps, and i no longer needed access to anything but photoshop, lightroom, and illustrator for pro/freelance purposes

when i did that, i got the "wait, what if we gave you a promotional rate for the super mega plan that's half off for the next year?" and i was like yeah, okay, sure bc that would have been the same as having to pay for the only 3 i needed and i got more bang for my buck (esp since it comes with 100 gb of cloud storage)

anyway, i've literally been doing this every year since and getting the same discount every time--i have never paid full price for this plan

so if you too are in a situation where you kinda can't get out of the (legal) adobe ecosystem for whatever reason, i highly recommend seeing if this is an option bc I've literally saved like over $2k by doing this over the past several years

[mariaace]

What's this? Affection...Do it again.

A/n: So like our precious bllk men. Talked with my bsf about these idiot and ugh got to writing.

Summery: how they react to affection. Do they return it?(gn!reader)

Pairings: Isagi, Rin, Reo, Bachira, Chigiri, Sae

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Isagi Yoichi

Isagi loves your affection. He adores it!! Would never stop you or push you away. He most likely like hugging you, because that's when you are the closest to him. His hand is usually around your shoulder or waist, especially if you are around his friends from blue lock. He loves running to you after a match, when you are in the front line of the audience, watching him. People around you are screaming. Like y'all are kissing in every photo of his matches. Forehead kisses are his to go for when you are in public. He loves when you run your hand through his hair whether that be in public or private. In general, he would return your affection right away, and he loves it.

Rin Itoshi

Rin likes your affection, but he doesn't show it. Okay, he may return it, but way more silently than you. He would brush his knee against yours when you are sitting, walk you from the paparazzi by putting his hand on your back, give you his water bottle to drink. He, most of the time, acts annoyed when you show too much affection, or when you ask to kiss him in public he'll say no, hoping you would ask again. In public tho, he would react a lot. Especially with the paparazzi around you. Overall, you are definitely the more affectionate one and he acts annoyed on it, but don't worry, he appreciates it a lot <33

Reo Mikage

Reo falls in love with you again everytime you show his affection to him in public. He is also most likely more affectionate than you, doesn't matter if in public or private. He'll jump on you the moment he sees you. He really loves your affection tho, especially if you aren't the one to show it a lot. Here, you'll have to be the one to return his. Nagi is telling you that you are gross, while you are wrapped around Reo. To the paparazzi? Oh ho. He's showing off, he is not hiding. Of course, if you feel uncomfortable with that, tell him. The last thing he wants is for you to be uncomfortable.

Bachira Meguru

Bachira... We'll he's Bachira. If he doesn't return your affection, there is not a person who would. Keeping that in mind, you two don't leave each others sides. Like two puppies in love (it kind of is). He will shower you with affection three times bigger than yours, but it was your fault for kissing him on the face. He isn't trying to purposely show you off in public, but he does in unintentionally! Or he is just all over you and people already know. If you don't return his affection, he will think you're mad at him :( please tell him that's not true

Chigiri Hyoma

Now this pretty princess, looooooves the attention you're giving him, like genuinely loves it. ESPECIALLY if you two are in public, because he can show how much his partner loves him!! Would he return the affection? Yes... eventually. Don't get me wrong okay? He will return it, but probably behind closet doors (yes i believe Chigiri can sometimes be not much of a PDA person) or he'll show it in his own way that is unfamiliar to others, but not to you, so only you could now. Still, he loves having you close all the time no matter what. In front of paparazzi? Quick! Pose! You gotta steal the light!

Sae Itoshi

Oh this bitch, where so i start with him. Does he like your affection? Hmmmm he tolerates it... I'm kidding, yes he likes it, he wouldn't be dating you otherwise. He just would never admit it even if it cost his life, but you know he does. But he isn't returning it in public at all. Like no freaking chance, especially if they are paparazzi. He gotta keep the reputation you know? In closed doors tho? If he's exhausted, clingy or you just ask him enough, yes he would. But you gotta be more pushy. (More passion, more energy)

© mariaace 2024 pls do not copy, translate, steal or claim any of my works!

@dazailoveschuuya

[squiddy-god]

belphie makeing out hcs (sfw and nsfw)

Look man I'm down bad and I don't wanna here a damn thing- also since this is part of the last batch of fics ⚠︎REQUEST ARE OPEN⚠︎ my pined post has the rules and a link to my fandom list as well as master lists so PLEASE send in request!

Sfw, NSFW under cut, older fic etc etc

belphie is only 99% “human” in his human form 

So in his human form belphies tongue is still longer than average, but in his demon form? Ho boy, belphie has a cow tongue, it's also spotted in his demon form 

Belphie likes to start out with slow lazy kisses on your jaw and the corners of your lips, it almost always starts that way

A lazy kiss on your jaw, a sleepy kiss on the corner of your mouth, a kiss to your lips that's slightly too hungry to be innocent 

Likes to be close to you when you make out and it also usually happens after he wakes up from a nap so the most common positions are ;

 you you laying on his chest with your legs straddling his hips, his hand on your butt and the other threaded threw your hair and pushing down slightly 

Or, your laying down and he's straddling your hips, arms wrapped tightly around your waist pulling you up slightly and flush against his chest as he pushes your head against the soft pillows 

Of course there are times at night when belphie is wide awake, most of the time when this happens, your sitting in his lap while his arms are laily wrapped around you

You've made out in the corners, under the stairs, in dark halls, any place in RAD that isn't completely public. This is mainly because 1) he wants to piss off lucifer 2) if he cant sleep between class then he’ll make out with you and 3) other demons need to know their place, your HIS. 

Not as slopy as some of the other brothers but he's one who likes to lick you a lot, he’ll pull your head back and slowly drag his tongue along your neck nice and slow, making sure that it leaves a trail of his saliva before hes right back to claiming your mouth

Gotta make sure other demons can smell him on you 

Belphie has wandering hands when you make out they definitely like to roam and grope at whatever he can, weather that be your ass or squishing your thighs, belphies hands roam 

When his hands aren't roaming wild their threaded thru your hair and gripping your lower back/butt 

Nsfw below cut 

Almost nothing makes his dick harder then seeing you gag on his tongue 

He loves to see you all flushed and drooling slightly as you moan and gag around his tongue 

Kinda gives him a power trip knowing he can make you so flushed and needy just from this

 He likes it when he can pound into you and not break the kiss, his cock shoving into you while his thick tongue claims your mouth 

Sometimes he cant resist and he’ll fuck you in a closet at RAD, what is he suposed to do? Not get rock solid while you moan and gasp from just a kiss (and ur grabby hands sir)

The kinda guy to cum in your mouth and proceed to still makeout with you because he literally doesn't care (we stan a man who gives smooches after head)

If your sitting on his lap then you can feel his erection poke your thigh, if hes stradaling you then his knee is between you legs and m-maybe he’ll hump you a little (or if you let him, until he cums

[miintsprigz]

Mercs x GN! reader who drew them (ALL NINE!)

This goes out to everyone, not just my artists.

But yes, all my fic material is extremely self-serving.

Big thank you to a dear friend of mine for helping me with mercs like Pyro, Engie, Sniper, and Medic when I got stuck.

VERY LONG POST INCOMING

Scout

• Well, he IS an artist himself, that’s probably how the two of you first started talking.

• Ran past one day, only to immediately throw it in reverse and go “hey whoa whoa whoa when were you gonna tell me you could draw?!”

•Naturally…it was only a matter of time.

•He was always so encouraging about your stuff, so…after working up the guts, you showed him.

• “Yo wait a sec…you drew me??? I…” For once in his life, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been drawn—not even a self-portrait. For as cocky as he seems…well…

•He just…stares for a second. Marveling. Is that…really what I look like?

• “Do you like it?” “Abso-friggin-lutely, (Y/N)!!! You kiddin’? I don’t even look that beautiful in real life! And ya know, that’s sayin’ somethin!”

•You laugh, and he pulls you in so fast to hug you that you weren’t even ready. “But seriously…thank you. I’ve uh…I’ve never been drawn before. You did amazing. …you know I gotta draw you now, right?”

•And he does. He’s a complete perfectionist about it—he feels like he can’t replicate you, you’re one of a kind. (He actually does very well! But he’s so shy showing it to you…d’aww.)

Pyro

•Pyro was more of a doodler than anything. They loved color. And of course, you could resonate with that.

•Sometimes you’d draw designs and let them color it in. They giggled all the while…they just adored how creative you were.

•Being the most secretive about their appearance, they’re hard to nail down…even for you. Pyro is most themself in their full gear. You, out of everyone, know that best.

•So you took a…different approach. Abstraction.

•Their hands, the ones that so often seemed to be magnetically drawn to you.

•Their back, the strong shoulders when they just felt content to sit in the quiet with you.

•The brief glimpses you’d caught of their face—split second instances in shadows—those were easy, yet challenging. Their brief sightings made them easy to be abstract about, and yet, it made them harder to actually nail down.

•Conjuring a rather fittingly smoky composition, it had a dreamlike feel to it. Pure Pyro.

•You were only a bit hesitant to show them, but when they did see…they surprised you a bit.

•You could see them straighten up a bit…surprised. They craned their neck a bit, looking closer, gently curling their fingers over yours to hold the snapshot-like portraits with you.

• “Hmmm…” There was a sort of…tranquility to them. So unlike your little sparky fella.

• “Do you like them?” Immediately, the edge of their mask bumped against your forehead—your own personal way of kissing. That was all the answer you needed.

•They couldn’t verbalize it, but…seeing beauty in images of themself. The same beauty they saw all around them…it made them see themself in a way they never had before.

•And of course, it made them fall even deeper in love with you, the one who cared for them so much that they took the time to look so deeply.

Heavy

•Heavy is a very intelligent man, but he’s never had much gift for creative work. Even his insults were kind of just the same thing repeated, when the other mercs made it an art form.

•So he couldn’t help but be enraptured by your artistic endeavors and how much work you put into them.

•He loved to see you covered in your medium of choice, your passion for it. Made him lovesick. How lovely you were doing what you loved.

•If he could paint, he would have wanted to paint that. So he could look at it forever.

•So of course, imagine his delight when you decided to draw him!

• That roaring laugh you so enjoyed boomed immediately, just elated.

•“Ohhhh…look at that! You captured me perfectly! Beautiful!” You couldn’t help but beam with pride.

•“Can Heavy keep this?” “Of course you can, hon.” This warranted a sudden barrage of kisses to your face, which cracked you up of course.

•“Very happy to have such talented artist as yourself to love. But to me? You are most beautiful. In all the world.” Despite being more eloquent in his native language, Heavy could still get you to turn red. “Oh gosh…” “Is true!”

Demoman

•Tavish had always been a pretty sentimental fellow. He really did enjoy artwork, but didn’t talk about it much.

•Once he discovered that you were an artist, he was over the moon. Finally, he felt, he could talk to someone about art without them possibly poking fun.

•He’d never go in your sketchbook unless you allowed him to, but he always looked with such admiration in his eyes. “That’s bloody brilliant. So long as ya luv it, never stop doin’ this. Cuz I’ll never stop lookin.”

•One day, you told him you had a surprise for it. “I dunno if I like surprises…” “Oh trust me, Demo,” you chirped, “I think you’ll like this one.”

•As you held up the finished product, his mouth went agape. Almost instantly, he began to smile.

•“Well aren’t you just the sweetest!! That’s me there???” “Yes, love. I uh, I hope that you like it.” His gaze shifted over to you, and you could see his eye had grown somewhat misty.

•Demo was at a loss for words. He had never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, certainly not good enough to be drawn. And yet. You had drawn him. Drawn him very well. And he liked how he looked. Was that how you saw him?

•“Aw, Tav…you okay??” He blinked quick, trying to keep composed.“Never better…c’mere, you…”

•Wrapping his arms around you, he gave you a kiss, just about taking your breath away.

•“My little artist…ya made me look so good.” You caught him rubbing his eye a bit. “I just drew what I saw.” “Well, ya see a work of art in me. And that? That’s the best surprise of all.”

Engineer

•With how much designing went into his machines, Dell could always appreciate the skills of an artist. So when he learned that you were one, well, that only sweetened an already sweet deal.

•You were a little self-conscious at first about him watching you work. You tended to just work parallel to one another, both lost in your own stuff.

•You’d sometimes stop what you were doing to follow his hands as he put the pieces together, fingers wandering as they looked for the correct tool.

•When the inverse happened though—when Engie watched you work—he admired your spontaneity. You could start off with a total wild card and somehow managed to pull it all together and make it work, in a way he never could have come up with.

•Being rather rigid in his own trade, that was something Dell couldn’t help but be dazzled by. Very smart man for sure, but rather by-the-book. Not like you. He saw genius in the way your mind worked.

•So, one day, as the two of you perused each other’s handiwork a bit, you shyly revealed the piece you’d made of him—hard at work on an updated sentry model.

•His lips parted a little like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.

•“I know it’s a little rocky…I’m not the best at drawing machinery.” Gently, he took ahold of the sketchbook and gave it a soft tug, nonverbally asking for permission to hold it. You let him.

•As he looked closer, a warm smile crept across his face. “Well, well…wouldja look at that. That’s me alright.” He chuckled heartily, but you realized it was from admiration, not amusement.

•“Look at you, (Y/N)! Saw me all covered in dirt an’ said ‘yeah, I can make art from that’. I love it…shucks, darlin’, I can hardly get my eyes off of it.”

•He looked back at you, still all aglow, only to find you blushing to the point of near luminescence. “Aw, c’mon now honey…no need to be all shy. You’re incredible, ya know that?”

•An arm slunk around your shoulders, pulling you fast to his side, quickly pecking the top of your head. “I love it, and I love you.”

Soldier

•Soldier was a brave man, that he was confident in. But even he was self-aware enough to realize he wasn’t the sharpest.

•Anything he’d ever drawn looked like kids’ stuff, so to see what you could make? It blew his mind.

•Jane tried not to stare while you drew—you’d gotten all nervous when you’d caught him, and he was trying to be courteous—but he couldn’t deny how it captivated him.

•“Whatcha workin’ on now?” “I’m drawing those two goofs.” You motioned to the Spy and Scout bickering as they often did. “Why them, of all things?” “I just like capturing the moment sometimes.”

•One day, as you sat while he drilled the rest of the team, you started to do just that. You found it hard not to chuckle just a little as the others groaned and rolled their eyes.

•Sure, you got their annoyance, but you couldn’t help but be pulled in by Jane’s excitement and hot-bloodedness.

•“Seemed pretty lost in your work there, or I woulda asked you to join in.” A strong hand ruffling your hair snapped you out of your daze. “Capturing the moment again?”

•“Uh-huh. I think this is my best one yet.” You turned the book around to show him, and you saw his lips part slightly in surprise before he suddenly laughed. “Haha! Look at that! It’s me!”

•You laughed with him, just happy to see him so tickled by it. “I think I really captured you.” “I’d say so, kid! I’d say so…wow.” The amusement gave way to what you realized was…almost awe.

•“I look…strong. Proud.” “Yep.” “…I look good.” “Of course you do.” He nudged his helmet down a bit with his hand, chuckling to himself. From what little bit of his face you saw…was he blushing?

•Imitating him playfully—it was something you two tended to do, he found it cute—you joked, in your best impression of him, “‘Are you going soft on me, maggot??? You’re red as a tomato!’” “Noooo…oh, (Y/N), what am I gonna do with you?”

•He caught the side of your face softly and pecked you on the cheek. “But…really. Thank you, sweetheart. I think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever made.”

Sniper

•Truthfully, Mick had never given a lot of thought to the arts before he’d met you. What really caught his eye was the amount of time you put into it.

•Sniper knew better than anyone that holding still, completely focused on your task, being all but absorbed in it…that was respectable.

•The fact that he could leave for work and come back to find you in the same spot? It was just very attractive to him.

•You stopped by to watch him sometimes, very discreetly, on less busy days, although he wouldn’t lie, it got him nervous. He trusted in his own skills plenty, but…you weren’t just anyone. He couldn’t have you getting hurt.

•So one day, as he finally wrapped up, he saw you, still hard at work. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but if it was time to go, he wanted to go. Giving you a light pat on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Almost done there, darlin? Quittin’ time.”

•“Just a bit more…there. Perfect. Check it out.” You held up what you’d been working on: a full sketch of him invested in his own work.

•It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but once he did, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Slightly slack-jawed, he looked up at you, the faintest trace of a smile.

•“Never considered myself the modelin’ type, ‘specially not out here, but…wow. Ya really did it. And I look bloody good, too!” “Well duh!” “Oh, stop—” Oh, that got him. The Aussie was surprisingly easy to fluster once he’d fully grown comfortable, and you loved it.

•“Awww, are you blushing?” “Just a little…now c’mon.” Taking your hand, he helped you up, quickly hugging you around the shoulders, catching you somewhat off-guard.

•“But really. Great job there. Thanks…it’s an honor, ya know that? To be drawn by you?” “Gosh—” “Heh, now you’re the one goin’ all red.” “Oh, stop—”

Medic

•The good(?) doctor first learned of your artistic prowess when he caught you trying to draw the charts he had on his wall. “Ooh! Very impressive.”

•Medic could do a lot of things, but drawing wasn’t really one of them. He couldn’t resist watching you work, even though he knew it was a bit touchy.

•“Poetry in motion, Liebe. Really.” Simp. “Oh, come on—” “I mean it! You have such precision, such grace…it’s a sight to behold!”

•So of course, when you were working on something that you absolutely would not let him look at, he wanted to see even more.

•“I promise that whatever it is, I will find it as beautiful as you!” “It’s not that, silly—it’s supposed to be a surprise!” He seemed almost sulky about it…it was kind of cute, although you did feel a bit bad.

•Eventually though, it was done—him, with Archimedes on his shoulder. “Okay, honey, you can look now.”

•One hand comes up over his mouth, audibly gasping. “Is that…? It is!!! Haha!”

•You had never seen him this happy, and you couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, (Y/N)! Look at that…and Archimedes too!”

•Perhaps unsurprisingly, he brings the bird out to show him too. It’s hard to gauge the response from a dove, but the tranquil cooing seems to suggest that he enjoys it.

•The doctor catches you off-guard as he sweeps you into a kiss. “Oh…danke, Schatz (treasure). May I keep this?” “Of course~”

•Best believe this man is showing your art off to EVERYONE who he treats, going on and on about what an incredible artist and person you are.

Spy

•This guy is a man of culture, he can appreciate good art. And good artists, wink.

•But in all seriousness, your attention to detail was incredibly attractive to him. After you’d been together for a while, the two of you would sit in his smoking room and relax together once the work day was over.

•Sometimes he’d be off to the side just doing his own thing, reading, but other times he’d actually sit beside you and watch. There was an intimacy to it, one you took time to grow fully comfortable with, but he was patient.

•So when you were very secretive one night, it caught his attention. Nothing slipped past him—not even you. You sensed him behind you surprisingly quickly though, and quickly closed the project up.

•“Shy tonight, are we? So unlike you, mon bijou (my jewel)…” “Hehe…be patient, babe, it’s not done yet.”

•His arms wrapped around you from behind briefly…gosh, it was difficult to keep anything secret from this man. “Very well. Keep your secrets…for now.”

•But he respected that you didn’t want him to see it just yet, and so he waited.

•“…Okay, you can look now.” In an instant, he was behind you again. It was hard to even look up at the guy right now, but once you did…there was this sense of wonder in his face that you hadn’t seen before.

•It wasn’t often that Spy looked at himself unmasked for longer than a few seconds—he’d almost forgotten his own face by now. For spies, he reasoned, it was better that way. But the way you had captured every detail of him…

•“Oh, what a handsome devil…wonder who that could be…” Was he trying to brush off his own flustering? Maybe a little.

•You couldn’t help but giggle as he almost hurriedly sat down next to you, quickly drawing you in close as he continued to look. Almost entranced.

•That element of intimacy I mentioned before? It was his turn to feel it now. Not even in a physical way, which is what this Casanova is so used to.

•No, the fact that you had clearly just…looked at his face, so intently. There was something raw and vulnerable to it. And as much as he wanted to look at it even more, his eyes were magnetically drawn to you.

•“I wouldn’t have ever asked it of you, but…I always wondered what it would look like if you drew me. I…”

•Glancing back down, he found that he couldn’t even come up with anything to say. The act of love had rendered him speechless. YOU BROKE HIM OH MY GOSH/j

•“…Do you like it?” Before you could say anything else, you were swiftly kissed, and I mean kissed.

•Spy always looked at you with a sort of passion, but this was different. He had never felt so much love for someone. Felt like a young, hopeless romantic boy all over again.

•“I adore it…and most of all, I adore you, mon cœur (my heart).”

AAAAND IM DONE. WHEW. That was fun!

[beuxwhoyouare]

Escaping Holiday Responsibilities

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and all the boys. And who can forget about singing Hanerot Halalu after lighting the menorah. There’s symbols and entities representing all of the holidays. But outside of the season we enjoy our peace and quiet. Sometimes though a season is so rough you can’t really blame an entity for wanting to get away.

I may or may not be Santa Claus. I’d say the best perk about the gig is that when the time comes you’re almost guided to your successor who then dons the classic look. So it’s a give and take. I mean having the power to fulfill lists of gifts you desire is great, but acquiring the look of a tubby bearded old man isn’t all that. The coolest thing though is you may not know it, but just because you don’t write a list doesn’t mean you don’t have holiday desires. I can still deliver gifts based on the list you make in your hearts. Cute as hell right? I’m basically a mind reader!

Before all this Claus business, I was unemployed and recently divorced when I received the call to step into the good ol boots. So a gig is a gig. I took it and ran, but that was like 30 years ago. So now once I retire I’m actually gonna look old and ragged.

So there I was last night delivering gifts at this random place in Chicago. Doing my best to stay quiet, delivering gifts as low key as possible when CRAAAAAACK! I stepped on a large glass ornament I somehow missed. I thought I was in the clear after no one came to check what happened and as I headed on my way out a baseball bat swung at my head.

I took the hit like a champ but when I turned around to see I saw a man standing there in black sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt with the bat ready to swing again.

“Ho ho hey hey wait. I’m literally Santa.” I whisper yelled while showing snowy crystals come out of my glove.

Right as he began to swing again I pulled more tricks out of my hat.

“I know your name is Russell O’Connor. You got a gunmetal tricycle as a 4 year old because you thought the red ones the store had were tacky and wanted to look tough!”

That’s when he stopped mid-swing.

“How-how did you know that pervert? Have you been watching me for years?”

I began to hear his inner list….a young man now in his mid-20s regretting his life decisions to get a girl knocked up as a teen? Interesting. He desires to get away from the so-called mess he made.

“I can offer you a way out of the mess you made. If that’s what your true hearts wish is this Christmas?!” I pleaded to not be beaten once again.

“How do you know what I want freak?”

“Bro I’m Santa, I know when you’ve been like bad or good and whatever. Listen do you want to get away from the mess you made or what?”

“Yes okay but like how are you going to do it? You’re not going to kill me or anything?”

“Honestly no one’s really ever wished for this so I gotta be able to do it somehow. That’s the Santa magic!”

“Okay let’s go for it. Do it! Get me out of here!”

I closed my eyes and rubbed my gloved hands together and then pulled them apart. As I pulled them apart a spark started forming but I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I tried to hold it steady but before I knew it, the spark grew too wild to control. The energy then turned white and exploded.

There was a ringing and we both yelled but then black.

When I woke up I found myself pushing up from a bed? That’s weird I don’t remember finishing all my deliveries. I reached up to scratch my beard but instead of my long luscious white beard a more close shaved beard grazed my hand. Wait where are my gloves? And my beard?

I looked down at the bed I didn’t recognize before looking back up to walk over to a nearby restroom with the night light on. The dim glow painted a picture I couldn’t believe. Surely I’m dreaming?

I fumbled around the foreign room before locating the light switch, only to have the bright lights confirm what I was seeing. I raised both arms and posed….

“No fucking way!?” The cursing surprised me, being a Claus the job prevents your mouth from ever even forming a curse word.

I’m Russell? But the Santa step down process just returns you to your normal self not swaps you with someone? How did this? Could my desires have matched with his conflicting my magics intent?

I lifted the shirt barely hiding anything of my new body I now resided in. Woah…I wasn’t much of a gym person in my former life but maybe there’s reason to be. I mean look at this beef? I reached my muscular hand up to my new proud chest and squeezed. Ahhh grazing my new nipple I revealed a new found sensitivity I never previously had. Looks like that’s going to be fun, I nearly salivated.

I can do adult things again and live a life again! No more having to spend months working to achieve someone else’s dreams. Or maybe I’ll fulfill other dirtiest dreams. I mean this body should go to work somehow.

I’m sure OnlyFans would love to see how thick I am everywhere. It’s time to be a family man settle down the right way and make a good living by selling the best gift I’ve ever given myself.

My new tool hardening nearly pulling down my sweatpants waistband itself. I grabbed it before taking a peak at my new equipment. Ohhhhh looks like I’ll still be delivering gifts to quite a few people in different ways with this beer can.

[mcflymemes]

ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE (2001) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

it's been my experience when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up.

i sleep in the nude.

about time someone hit him. i'm sorry it wasn't me.

i didn't say it was the smart thing, but it is the right thing.

i came down the chimney. ho ho ho.

we've done a lot of things we're not proud of. robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking... but nobody got hurt.

maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

will you look at the size of this? it's gotta be half a mile high at least.

our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children.

you're so skinny, if you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper.

hey look, i made a bridge.

as far as me goes, i just like to blow things up.

come on. tell the kid the truth.

does it match my dress?

it was like a sign from god.

i got your four basic food groups: beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard.

you have disturbed the dirt.

what have you done?

if you give back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building.

i gotta admit, i'm disappointed.

you ask too many questions!

who are you? who sent you?

do not be such a crybaby.

now tell me your story, my little friend.

trust me on this one. you don't wanna know.

if you're looking for the pony rides, they're back there.

what else have you got in there?

forget your jammies, [name]?

you're gonna want a pair of these.

i think we've seen how effective my decisions have been.

have i left anything out?

you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole.

i took this job when my dad retired.

you are a scholar, are you not?

who told you that?

let's go over it again, just so we got it straight.

we're all gonna die.

someone needs to talk to that girl.

for the good of the mission, i will go!

tonight's supper will be baked beans. musical program to follow.

hey, i had nothing to do with it.

i'll have to quit my job.

you didn't just drink that, did you?

don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything...

carrots? why it it always carrots?

with something like that, i would have white wine.

we can't let him do this!

okay, now you can go.

how was my accent?

we are not thriving.

where are you going?

don't take no for an answer.

look, i have some questions for you, and i'm not leaving this city until they're answered.

somebody's gonna have to suck out this poison.

i thought you said he only had guns!

mercenary? i prefer the term "adventure capitalist."

do you wanna do my job? be my guest.

i'm gonna need you to fill these up.

thank god i lost my sense of taste years ago.

why don't you translate, and i'll wave the gun around.

this was not part of the plan.

you do swim, do you not?

your heart has softened.

you would have slain them on sight.

what they have to teach us, we have already learned.

something wrong with your neck?

so i guess this is how it ends? fine. you win.

get back! i've got soap, and i'm not afraid to use it!

look at all those tattoos!

i've got a bone to pick with you.

any last words?

i really wish i had a better idea than this.

i know i'm forgetting something.

you're the one who got us here.

you must've read it a dozen times by now.

sometimes i get a little carried away.

all will be well. be not afraid.

i hate fishing. i hate fish. hate the taste, hate the smell, hate all them little bones.

you will not regret this!

hard to believe he's still single.

can you drive a truck?

no time like the present.

i love it when we win.

you pick now of all times to grow a conscience?

[chippedshake]

Ponyboy stands in front of the mirror, fifteen and one month old. His hair is longer than it used to be, and the still-blond tips brush his shoulders.

There are scissors in his hands.

"Glory, he looks different with his hair like that."

Ponyboy squeezes his eyes shut, hands gripping the sink for balance. The metal scissors clang against it.

"It used to look tuff. You and Soda had the coolest-lookin' hair in town."

He tries to imagine himself a year and a month ago. Squared off in the back, long at the front and sides. It looked real tuff.

He'd complained so much when he had to cut it off, making everything impossible for Johnny, and now he can't make himself bring it back to normal?

"Oh, come on, Ponyboy, it'll grow back."

It did. And now he doesn't know what to do with it.

"Oh shoot, it's just hair."

The front door slams open.

"Honey, I'm ho-ome!"

"I never shoulda showed you that," Steve grumbles

"Well, ya did, and now ya gotta deal with it." Ponyboy can hear the grin in Soda's voice.

Loud footsteps go into the kitchen.

"Hey, ain't Pony s'pposed to be home already?"

"Prolly is, just up in his room with a book. Wouldn’t notice a twister a foot away if he was reading."

Steve snorts. "You up for a game of cards?"

"Sure. I gotta go change first though."

"Ya mean you gotta go stick an ace in your shoe?"

"Somethin' like that."

Soda's voice trails away as he makes his way to his room, but Steve's has grown closer and closer, and Ponyboy knows he's going to see him and ask questions that he doesn't want to answer, but he can't move from where his hands still grip the sink, scissors trapped against it.

"Hey, kid." Ponyboy looks up and meets Steve's eyes through the mirror. He's standing in the doorway, one hand gripping the frame, whole body tense with discomfort, his face drawn with the same worry that strings through his voice. "You want me to get Soda?"

Ponyboy shakes his head and tries to subtly wipe his eyes. It'd be a new low to cry in front of Steve.

Steve's eyes flicker from Ponyboy's face to the scissors in his hand and his ungreased hair. He grimaces when he notices the tears, like he's not sure what to do with them.

"You know, cutting it off don't mean you'll forget them. You've still got a lotta memories that ain't in your hair. Better ones, too."

Steve's tone is matter-of-fact, but soft, softer than it's ever been. To Ponyboy, at least.

Like how Dally's voice reached a high, pleading tone it'd never reached before when they were speeding down that dirt road.

"I know..." Ponyboy whispers, and Steve leans in to hear him better. "It's just the last thing I got from them."

"That ain't true," Steve says. "You got both of their jackets and that book y'all read in the church. You even got the pictures you drew of them."

"Yeah, I know. It just ain't the same." His voice still won't come out above a whisper, but Steve seems to hear him just fine.

"Shoot, kid, I know that." He steps forward and sits down on the closed toilet seat. "But you can't live your life for them. They're gone. And they ain't comin' back. If you wanna remember 'em the right way, you gotta forget them sometimes."

Ponyboy thinks about the last year. About his bookmark that's been on page 118 for five months because Johnny would never get to read any pages after. About all the movie posters he's seen come and go because it wouldn’t be the same to watch them without Johnny. About the blade that's always in his back pocket that he can't stand to look at. About the time he brawled with Curly and then started crying because Dally had been the one to teach him how to throw a punch.

About how every time he looks in the goddamn mirror, he gets scared by his own reflection and remembers the church.

Maybe Steve's right. Maybe if he wants to start living normally again, he needs to forget them sometimes.

"This just ain't us. It's like being in a Hallowe'en costume we can't get out of."

Johnny might never get out of his costume, but Ponyboy could. And he would do it. For Johnny. Because he wouldn’t want Ponyboy to live as a shell of who he once was.

But when he meets his own eyes in the mirror, he knows he can't bring himself to do it.

"Steve, you ever cut hair before?"

He looks up in surprise, and for a moment Ponyboy's scared he's going to laugh at him. Then he stands up and holds his hand out for the scissors.

"Can't imagine it's harder'n fixin' up a car."

[sturniozo]

Away From You

Back To You part two

I didn’t know where else to go when I went to Alex’s house after I saw Matt with another girl. I couldn’t even tell Alex the truth about why I was at his door crying. He thinks it was because I was desperate to have him back and came running after he texted me that night.

I cried the whole night in Alex’s arms, while he comforted me about the wrong thing. The truth is, I couldn’t care less about having Alex back. I’d rather be in the arms of the man I’ve actually been in love with for the last two years. It took crying in the wrong man’s arms to realize, I never really loved Alex. It was always Matt, and always will be.

“How you feeling?” Alex asks as I lay on his bare chest. Yes, I’m ashamed to say that we did in fact sleep together last night.

“So much better.” I lie. What am i supposed to say, ‘you’re terrible in bed and I’m in love with my best friend’?

Alex just smiles. That stupid cocky smile I hate so much. The smile that says “I’m the greatest cockiest man in the world.” The smile of lies and arrogance.

Everything Alex does seems to piss me off now. I used to miss the way he’d play with my hair when we cuddled, but now all I can think about is the tugging on my scalp as he plays with my tangled hair. If it’s tagled from my night’s sleep, don’t play woth it. His audible breathing pisses me off too. My god, he snores while he’s awake.

“What’s on your mind?” Alex asks. God, his voice is even annoying.

“Nothing.” I mumble.

“Come on, what is it?” He laughs softly as he speaks. Another annoyance.

“Nothing.” I say again, this time more sternly.

Alex groans as he sits up. “You’re upset about something.”

I sit up as well. “What makes you think that?” I ask in a sarcastic tone.

“Well for one, you have never talked back to me before.”

I scoff. “Yes, I was a perfect and compliant girl for you.”

“What is up with you?” Alex snaps. “I thought you were dying to get back together with me?”

“Of course you would think that.” I laugh. “Because every girl is just dying to be with you.”

“God, so what if I slept around while we were broken up.” Alex exclaims.

“You think that’s what this is about?” I laugh again. “Like I didn’t sleep around too?”

Alex’s eyes widen. “What are you talking about? Who would sleep with you?”

“You, evidently.”

“Who did you sleep with?” He asks. He steps closer to me, clenching his jaw tightly. His eyes widen as the few braincells in his head connect the dots. “Fucking Matt, are you fucking kidding me?”

“Jesus Alex, you just said you slept around too.”

“Not with someone I see every single fucking day. I’m gonna kill that guy.”

“I’m not gonna see him every day anymore.” I sigh.

“Why’s that then?” Alex laughs. I look down. “You’ve got to be kidding me. He dumped you too huh?”

I stand up. “I’m leaving.” I mumble as I grab my clothes.

“What was it, he could’t stand you sleeping with every guy on the street.” Alex laughs.

I slip my clothes back on as ast as I can, grabbing my bag and my shoes as Alex follows me out the door, laughing at me once again.

He steps infront of me before I can leave the house. “Alex, move.”

“Oh, so scary.” Alex laughs. “Alex, move.” He mocks.

I roll my eyes and puch him out of the way, walking out the door and to my car. Alex follows me, slamming my car door back shut as I open it.

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“Where you aren’t.” I spit.

“Do you really think you can handle another guy leaving you?” Alex says.

“Another guy isn’t leaving me.” I open the car door again. “I’m leaving him.”

Matts POV

“Dude, have you even eaten today?” Chris asks. I only groan in response. “You gotta get out of bed sometime.”

Chris leans against the doorframe of be bedroom, hos arms crossed as he stares at me. I haven’t been able to get out of bed for days, or eat, or sleep. Not since Y/N left my house the other night.

“You have to get out of bed sometime, eat.” Chris insists. “I’ve heard of girls doing this after a breakup, but seeing you like this after Y/N left-”

“What about it?” I say groggily as I turn around in bed. I glare at Chris as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Well, isn’t this kind of…. your fault?” Chris says.

“What?” I sit up in my bed.

“Well, I mean, you did sleep with Anna or whatever her name is right after your fight with Y/N.”

“She went back to Alex, how is that any different?” I snap at him.

“She didn’t go back to Alex.” Chris says. “She came over for you.”

“I’ve seen her instagram story, she’s back with him. And her life 360 says she’s at his house right now.” I lay back down on the bed.

“You’re stalking her?” Chris asks.

“It’s not stalking. I got the notification that she arrived at his house last night.”

“And if I unlock your phone what app is already open?” Chris reaches for my phone, and I stop him.

“You proved your point.” I groan.

Chris raises his eyebrow and gestures to my phone, which is lit up showing a notification from ten minutes ago, from life 360 showing Y/N had left Alex’s house.

I look up at Chris and sit up from my bed, throwing the covers off my body. “Give me that.” I say quickly. Chris hands me the phone, and I look to see where Y/N is headed. Here.

Y/N’s POV

I sit in the driveway of my best friends house. Can I even call him that now? Is he even my best friend after what happened the other day? I bite my lip, not able to decide whether or not to actually go into the house.

I shake my head. What am I even doing? Why am I here? After eveything with Matt, how can I expect he wants to see me?

I start my car up again, putting it into reverse when I hear the front door open. I look up and see Matt. We stare at eachother for a moment before he walks down the steps and to my car. I put the car back in park and open my door, the awful dinging telling me the key is still in the ignition as I step out of the car to greet Matt.

“What are you doing here?” Matt asks in a soft voice.

I look down, my hair falling over my face. “I- I don’t know.” I say in almost a whisper.

“Y/N.” Matt puts his finger under my chin and lifts my head to look in my eyes. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah?” A blush tints my cheeks.

“Yeah.” He mumbles before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine in a soft kiss.

This was different than every other time we’ve kissed. It had always been quick and needy, never loving and slow like this. He’s never held me so close and so softly like he is now. His hands on my cheek and waist, instead of under my shirt.

Matt pulls away for a moment, looking at me with a soft smile before leaning in and kissing me again.

TAGS

@mattymaxine @mattstattoo @strtrckrz @dykes4chris @sturnsxbitvh @schlutt4matty @jcsturniolo11 @crisstopherfilmed @bonni-98 @sturniolohoe @fratbrochrisgf @vullzo @meatballlover10 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @babyalliah-777 @mattsturnxoxo @sturnobsessedwh0re @lizzymacdonald06 @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @h3arts4harry @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chris @carolinalikesthings @mattscokewhore @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07 @mattspinkytoe @coochiedestroyer1

[misc-obeyme]

fleeting concept idea but what about a romance with Barbatos where he knows exactly who you are going to be to him when you meet but he's lived his life very bored about all the events because he's not surprised by anything, including you.

you're just another boring event that's coming to pass in his life but like, his apathetic behavior isn't working for you so he's unconsciously pushing you away until he realizes in a panic that a relationship is something that needs to happen canonically so he's falling over himself suddenly trying to woo you

but he's kind of bad at it since he's never had to do that before.

and to you he's just this really weird guy that hits on you sometimes badly (a little creepy and maybe a little charming- fueling his deeper panics) and to him he's realizing he's gotta do more than just hit the notes he's gotta play the music with feeling until he realizes he's in love with the song

I was with you for the whole thing, anon, but then you really hit it home with that music analogy at the end. Music analogies - my biggest weakness!!

Anyway, what are you talking about fleeting? This is a solid concept!

I like the idea of Barbatos just being like ho hum this is just the same old stuff, I already know what's going to happen, how dull. And then it's like no wait, but this has to happen for real, so now he has to at least try.

I always think of Barbatos as being super suave and confident, but I like the idea that he's actually bad at something for once, too lol.

What would that even be like? I'd have to like rearrange his entire character in my head to make that possible (which isn't a bad thing, in fact I find it compelling).

Like okay he realizes he has to start making things happen, so maybe he invites you over for tea. He's gotta start somewhere and even if he's not so great at wooing, he can make one hell of a cup of tea. You're mostly satisfied, but he's not doing anything even remotely flirty, so to you it's just a regular tea time. Then he realizes he hasn't done anything flirty.

He's prepared ahead of time. He asked Diavolo for advice and was told to use a pickup line.

So he says, "Do you have a map?" Here he checks a note or something 'cause he had to write it down. "Because I have become lost in your eyes."

You almost end up shooting tea out of your nose because you're laughing so hard.

Barb's just like ??? Did I say it wrong?

This kind of nonsense continues until he realizes he is falling for you.

Awwww. That's pretty cute, actually.

[rallentando1011]

about donnie making fun of Rom coms. What happens if s/o like them, but in a way where they watch them to make fun of them and it makes them and Donnie reflect on their own relationship without meaning too? 😂 . “It’s so bad. This love triangle. I gotta see how this trainwreck ends! All 3 are terrible and deserve each other”. “Geez I would hate that if a guy did that to me”. “Oh! He deserves better”. S/o does openly swoon over really sweet gestures sometimes though. “Oh. He gave her a library and fixed it up 😭 “.

The song is Nothing - Bruno Major, it does mention alcohol in like one line as well as making out but those are NOT in the story at all - just wanted to preface this with that (thanks for the request btw! I am working on all of them still I promise-)

Nothing

(rise Donnie x gn reader)

“Track suits and red wine

Movies for two

We'll take off our phones

And we'll turn off our shoes”

The evening opened at the lair.

A breezy night, the wind feather-light and warm, the sky had been dim and earth damp with a fresh rain, the frigid conditions of winter thawing into a complacent spring.

Below the concrete confines of the sewers, the weather was just as drippy, the continuous drips and drops of water trickling with a postnasal quality, drumming peacefully throughout the lair.

A dreary morning had bled into a dreary day had bled into a now dreary evening. With the dispelling weather, you had found it drudgery to even perform basic tasks like getting out of bed and dressing yourself and eating. But you had to. And you did.

After getting through the necessities and chores of the day, you had bound to the lair, renewed from your climatory blues with the expectation of good company and no obligations. Sounded good to you.

What you hadn’t anticipated was walking into the lab to see your “company” sitting, hunched over his desk, busy at work, with webcore music playing over the speakers and a rom-com, of all things, playing on his PC.

“Psh,” you half-laughed, the energy behind your amusement not completely convincing. You worked your way beside him and leaned against his desk. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh,” Donnie, just the man you’d been looking for, startled and slowly, as if trying to avoid detection, moved a hand to shut his screen. “Hey, I didn’t see you there.”

Before the computer screen could shut, you nudged it back up. “You like these movies?”

Donnie paled, sitting up straighter, lips pressing into a flat line. “Absolutely not. They’re just good background noise.”

You hummed. If his posture and lack of alertness was anything to go off of, he’d been at this a while. He could use some R & R, and honestly, you wouldn’t oppose.

“Well, in that case, would you like to watch some ‘background noise’ with me?”

He slumped back down in his chair and looked at you blankly. “I am quite obviously in the middle of something. I think we both already know the answer to that.”

“And how long have you been at that?”

There it was: guilt.

You nudged his shoulder, flashing a grin at him. “Come on. We’re getting snacks and taking a well earned break.”

“But-”

“No sir, none of that. We’re going. Projector room. Now.”

“But-”

“First one there chooses the movie.”

That impetus was enough to spur both of you into motion.

“We'll play Nintendo

Though I always lose

'Cause you'll watch the TV

While I'm watching you

There's not many people

I'd honestly say

I don't mind losing to

But there's nothing

Like doing nothing

With you”

Unsurprisingly, he beat you to the projector room. Sure, he was a genetically enhanced mutant turtle and the odds were stacked heavily against you from the get go, but you were still salty about losing your own bet.

Not as salty as you were about his choice of “movie” not being a movie, instead being playing Super Smash Bros.

And especially not as salty as you were about getting irrevocably obliterated.

Round after round of the game, you had been infuriatingly greeted with screen after screen declaring your loss and all but screaming how terribly you sucked. Normally, you got the one up on him at least once, but with how drowsy your motor function was today, not to mention how you kept getting caught up in how invested he was but that was irrelevant, the game was not gaming.

Furthermore, you tried to pin your inopportune streak on S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., who had taken up residence on your lap after retrieving your and Donnie’s snacks and drinks of choice from the kitchen, but Donnie had disproven that theory. By holding his controller higher to simulate the space the drone took up and proceeding to desecrate you again.

You groaned and slumped down the couch as he once again laughed victoriously, boisterously. Seriously, his ego needed to be humbled.

“Another round,” you demanded, half-dead on the couch. “I got, uh, distracted.”

Donnie halted his gloating, tilted his head down at you and the little drone, though the smug grin had yet to clear his face.

You knew what was next, probably your favorite and least favorite part of your dynamic - banter.

“I know you’re only looking at me to have some semblance of an excuse to lose, but I’ll take that as a compliment of both my rugged good looks and superior gaming skills.”

You feigned injury with a hand over your heart. “Man, that is a harsh accusation. I am wounded. Mortally wounded.”

“Your Yoshi will be the wounded one after I annihilate you in this next round of Smash.”

“Oh, you are on.”

“Dumb conversations

We lose track of time

Have I told you lately

I'm grateful you're mine

We'll watch The Notebook

For the 17th time

I'll say ‘It's stupid’

Then you'll catch me crying”

After a few more times of crushing you in Smash, it apparently became boring. Either that or your pouting convinced him to hand the reins over to you and let you pick a movie.

Finally, you could relax.

Head on his shoulder, his arm around you, a plush blanket resting on your laps, a borderline unbearable romantic comedy on the projector, it was blissful.

“Hmm would you look at that?” you commented on one particular scene. You felt Donnie shift next to you, raising an ever so slightly judgmental eyebrow. “The love interest did something wrong and then compensated by making a library. And spending time with them. And apologizing.”

He stared at you.

You stared back. “Looks like someone could take notes.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Donnie blinked, and you smiled.

“Oh, nothing.”

“We're not making out

On a boat in the rain

Or in a house I've painted blue

But there's nothing

Like doing nothing

With you”

“I would die if you ever did that to me.” You shuddered at the absolutely foul scene unfolding on the television and sunk a little closer into his side, second hand embarrassment seeping into your bones. 

“Good connotation or bad connotation?” he pondered, all too genuinely. It made you want to gag.

“Good or bad?” you asked, incredulous. “Like, the worst connotation. I mean, if you showed up to my work like that I would actually spontaneously combust. Deceased. No hesitation.”

You plopped unceremoniously sideways onto his lap, the back of your hand dramatically resting on your forehead.

“That’s what spontaneous means,” he deadpanned, the arm that had been over your shoulder slowly slinking back to his side.

“I don’t need called out on my redundancy right now,” you jabbed an accusatory finger at him, looking up, “I just need you to promise to never do that.”

“Okay, okay,” he conceded with a content grin. “I’ll try not to show up to your work with some overly pedantic display of affection.”

You scowled.

“So shut all the windows

And lock all the doors

We're not looking for no one

Don't need nothing more

You'll bite my lip and

I'll want you more

Until we end up in a heap on the floor”

The room had grown dim, illuminated only by the faint blue on the projector screen. You blinked yourself awake from a half-asleep stupor as you realized the movie had come to a close. 

“Hey, are you still up?” you whispered groggily, noting his closed eyes and shallow breathing.

“Unfortunately yes.” His eyes peeled open begrudgingly.

“And you’re not working on anything?”

He seemed visibly more awake at that observation. “Huh. That is correct.”

“Hehe. I finally got you to be unproductive.” You poked his cheek jestingly, still lightheartedly.

“Yep. I concur - you got me.”

“And I finally got you to have a good time.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You sat up, incredulous. Sure, it hadn’t been an eventful night by any regard, but it had surely been enjoyable.

“Just that all of the characters are stupid,” he elaborated with a gesticulation of his hands. “Just- all of them are total dum-dums.”

“Well, yeah,” you agreed with a shrug. “That love triangle was destined to fail from the start. They’re all horrible people and deserve everything they got.”

“And watching that is enjoyable for you?”

“Yeah, it just makes me appreciative of what we have.”

Donnie paused, reflected at that. “Huh. That’s… an incredibly introspective view.”

“So, you enjoyed the movie?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

“You could be dancing on tabletops

Wearing high-heels

Drinking until the world

Spins like a wheel

But tonight your apartment

Had so much appeal

Who needs stars?

We've got a roof

But there's nothing

Like doing nothing

With you”

Busy personalities beget busy schedules, and who would want to be anything but? If the choice is between being mundane or multifariously vibrant, isn’t the choice obvious?

Yet sometimes the hustle and bustle and pressure build up, workloads stack up, a devastating fatigue sets in. And the best thing to do together is absolutely nothing.

“No, there's nothing

Like doing nothing

With you”

[italiantea]

i never realized

JAPANESE SWITCHED THE NEIGHBOURS AROUND

IN THE WORD NEIGHBOURS

wait are you fuckign kidding me

[transparentkinks]

You can't tell me some s$x toys didn't survive the bombs

and I think Hancock would definitely make it Nora's problem. Mentions of poly because always poly <3

NSFW MDNI

Hancock was Nora’s favorite companion to take scavenging. He seemed to understand her need to collect “junk” in her lover’s words and was happy to help her lug her various broken objects back to a settlement for her to tinker with. He over time learned to keep an eye out for what she considered most useful, showing them to her with pride. He even asked about what things were used for sometimes, and Nora got a nice chance to reminisce about good memories. 

“Hey Nora” Hancock approached her in an ancient house. “What’s this?” He lifted a metallic object for Nora to inspect. It looked to be stainless steel. It was long, kinda bumpy with a knob at the end- oh no. Her face flushed. How did that thing survive? 

“I don’t know.” She lied. 

“Then why did you look so surprised? You don’t wanna tell me?” Damn him, or maybe herself. She wasn’t the best liar. Should she admit what it was or double down? 

“It’s uh-” She felt bad lying to her lover. “It’s something I wasn’t supposed to recognize before..” She trailed off. 

“Oh ho ho!” He cheered. “It’s something naughty? Oh baby, you gotta tell me.” 

“It’s kinda obvious looking at it” Nora sighed. She watched with dejected embarrassment as she could see him examining the dildo and going from confused to very, very excited. Hancock quickly dropped to his knees and took off his pack, pulling out a bottle of purified water and vodka. “Oh god, John-” 

“Save that talk for later baby” He cackled. He looked up at her with mischief written plain across his face. “You can’t tell me you don’t want to know what it feels like”. 

Nora blushed looking at it, watching as Hancock poured first water over it to wash away any dust and then soaking it liberally in vodka. “You don’t seriously want to try that out now do you?” She asked incredulously. She already knew the answer. 

“I’ll make it worth your while sunshine, don’t you worry”. He winked at her. “You don’t gotta do nothing you don’t wanna do, but you can’t tell me you don’t wanna know what it feels like”. He practically slinked towards her, dildo in hand. She knew she did, but she still had such a hard time letting go of her old world ideals. Letting John do the things he does to her, doing the things she does to him, in some abandoned house with a secondhand sex toy. But, when in rome she supposed. If things were different why not enjoy it? “Why don’t you let me make you feel good now, then we’ll head on home and we’ll bust into that old ass whisky I found, and we’ll enjoy the night, huh?” He cupped her face, she was sure her face was deeply flushed as she met his eye. 

“That does sound nice-” She sighed, slinging her arms around his neck. He pulled her into an easy, molten kiss. Hancock always loved with such intensity, and when he touched her he set her skin on fire. He pushed her against the ancient dryer, propped her on the edge while he felt down her body. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so good baby-” John sighed in her ear, pulling away to start rolling down her suit. She lifted her hands to help his effort. “Nick is gonna be excited about this discovery-” He hummed into the hollow of her throat before letting his eager mouth trail down her neck to her check and heaving breasts. She nearly froze at that thought. A lot of her lovers would be excited about this discovery. 

“John,” She sighed. “I don’t understand how insatiable you can be.” He pulled away from her nipple with a very nice feeling pop to answer her. 

“Baby if I could fuck you all day every day I would. I would commission paintings of your face when you cum if I could find an artist that could do you justice. I could devour you babydoll”. He let his lips follow his hands as they exposed more skin, rolling down her panties with her suit and managing to trap her legs with her rolled clothes staying on her by her boots. His teeth fall to her exposed thighs, lifting her legs over one shoulder to torment her shin. 

“John-” She whined. He often left her beyond words, how quickly and frequently he could get her into such compromising positions, screaming his name into the wasteland. 

“I can’t wait to see you cum on this thing.” He spoke just a breathe away from her folds. Her squirming in his grip was met with a pinch, making her squeak. Without much warning he set to licking at her. She could feel him almost drooling onto her as she squirmed. He worked one, then two fingers into her and scissoring them. She couldn’t help but squeal at the feeling and if her legs weren't bound and over her head they’d be flailing. Her hips bucked at the feeling of cold metal on her folds, moaned when she looked down and saw Hancock licking over the dildo as he slid it through her sopping folds. She felt the tip of the dildo against her before he slid a good amount into her quickly. She had no time to adjust, as he eagerly began fucking it into her. 

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty” He sighed, looking up at her as he fucked her deeper and faster with the dildo. Nora quickly became incoherent, losing herself in the waves of pleasure brought by Hancock’s words and the dildo and his mouth teasing her clit. She felt herself whining his name every time he set his tongue to her. He slammed the dildo into her g-spot and when he heard her groan he started abusing the spot. “Are you gonna come for me baby? Gonna cum all pretty on this fake steel cock?” He teased just over her clit, slamming into her, at least by how she felt, as hard and fast as he could manage. She saw white when she came. His thrust slowed into rocks as she pulsed around the dildo. She felt him push it into her as far as it would go and she sighed at the pressure. 

“You know-” He thrust it shallowly into her and she groaned. “It’s a short walk back to camp. Why don’t we keep this here till we’re ready to use it again” His grin was almost evil as he pulled her suit back up her still rather boneless body. She moaned and shook as he pulled her to sitting, helping her get her suit back over her body. He pulled her to standing and she shook as she leaned into him. 

“I don’t know about this John” She sighed, gripping his coat tight and leaning into his chest. She felt herself pulse in the aftershocks of her orgasm around the dildo and fought the urge to squirm. 

“I can carry you if you want-” He teased, holding her tight. This really was a dangerous discovery for Hancock.

[f1daydreamers]

𝐀 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 [𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟔

photo credits: Pinterest

Pairing: Lance Stroll × Fem!Reader

Summary: Asking the driver of the team you work for to attend a wedding with you as your fake date is possibly one of the dumbest ideas you've had ever.. but also one of the best.

Warnings: angst, lottssss of fluff cause u guys deserve some, lots of mentions of alcohol, basically a party lmao

A/N: I’ve got ideas for a mini-series with Lando and one-shots with Max but I need to finish this off before I get carried away elsewhere!! ALSO, super sorry for the late update but it’s been a hectic last few weeks with weddings (summers are BUSY) but yep, finally dialled down and ready to post!

Listen to 'Ho Hey' by The Lumineers during the dancing part, it's such a feel good song :')

Word Count: 3.4k words (12 mins reading time avg)

…

"Ow." You say monotonously as Lance rewraps the elastic bandage, then loosens it amidst your very nonchalant way of expressing agitation.

"The bruising's little better, you just gotta try and keep it straight." You nod, turning your attention to your sister who slid her chicken off of her fork by her teeth.

Lance turned to face his body forward again, tugging the sleeves of his blazer down. He watched as you directed your gaze towards your knee, carefully adjusting the bandage a couple of inches higher to prevent any itchiness.

"Can't believe you hurt it the day of the wedding." You shrug, fiddling with the hem of your dress and stretching your leg out, being careful as to not collide it with someone else's foot beneath the table.

"Just my luck," you settled on an answer and took a sip from your wine glass which desperately needed refilling if you wanted to let the thoughts of your damned knee waft out of your mind.

As if on cue, the waiter who was serving your group tonight popped open and poured a few inches of content from a fresh bottle into your glass. You refrained from asking him to hand you the entire thing. Once he'd began tending to someone else, you spared no moment in taking another sip, though this one was much longer than the previous one.

It didn't slip your notice how Lance leaned in, his words laced with a faint concern.

"You do know alcohol slows your healing down." You only give him a side eye, your lips touching the rim of the glass. Maybe you paused for a brief moment to register what he'd told you, but it didn't matter because you resumed consumption of the liquid seconds later.

He chuckled, shaking his head. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something else but his eyebrows raised in attention as his head whisked to meet your brother.

"Try some of the sushi mate," he prodded hospitably, but Lance brought a hand to his stomach, "I'm not a fan of it. I'm sure it's been well-made but I've tried it a few times in the past."

"Ah." He paused before your mum cut in, she was dabbing her napkin to either side of her lips. "Y/N, you should've told us. I would've asked for something else to be made." You really wanted to roll your eyes, she definitely wouldn't have. In fact, had she known, she probably would've asked for just seafood to be made.

"No harm done." Lance smiled, seeing the impatience with your mom already bubbling up evidently on your face. "Do you cook?" Your mother didn't stop there though as she recaptured his attention.

"I do sometimes, yes." His response took you by surprise, you'd never pegged him as the cooking type. Yet, the revelation only added to his allure in your mind.

"What, tea and toast?" She covered with a laugh though you knew it was a subtle dig, it didn't seem to occur to the man besides you as he only breathily laughed with her, assuming lightheartedness but there was nothing lighthearted about her.

"He can make plenty of things." You added, injecting a touch of seriousness into the conversation. Lance's eyes briefly flickered towards you, his eyebrows furrowing in a slight downward motion.

"Oh?" She sounded surprised, he was quick in interjecting to downplay the sudden admittance. "Y/N's hyping me up," he smiled then continued, "um no a-a couple of things sure. Just practical stuff."

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, noting his growing nervousness as he struggled to comprehend the atmosphere surrounding the conversation. You could sense the tension in the air, a feeling that lingered.

Releasing a sigh, you made a conscious effort to ease the growing awkwardness, forcing a smile as you lifted your gaze once again. "A man of many talents," you commented, aiming to lighten the mood.

Lance smiled at your compliment, remaining modest as he nodded appreciatively in your direction. It was evident that he was grateful you didn't let your mother's remarks affect your mood.

...

A few of the guests were beginning to leave the dinner table, the party now beginning to bleed on to the dance floor. You were slouched in your chair, going through your Instagram when Lance stood up.

"Where you going?" You asked him, though soon to be regretting it when his smile widened. "To dance. And you're coming with me."

Your eyes widen in horror, "I don't- no. I-" He doesn't let you finish your sentence, already tugging your hand up as you slide your phone flat on to the dinner table.

"My knee." You say in a matter-of-fact tone but you know it's not nearly as bad as it was earlier, the compression doing wonders for it.

Lance sees right through your lies because his grip on your hand doesn't loosen, "I'll be careful." You quickly join the assumption that he wanted to dance with you, not just have you up there to lessen his own embarrassment.

"I-" He tuts, "come on."

"Go have fun Y/N. It's not like this opportunity'll come 'round again." Your aunt wags her eyebrows suggestively, and Lance tilts his head towards her, wordlessly agreeing with the cheeky grin on his lips still very much prominent.

"You've definitely had more to drink than I have." He laughs, successfully helping you stand up and guiding you to the dance floor. He moved to the rhythm of the music, already grooving as he walked.

Suddenly, he tugged on your hand, causing you to turn towards him. Your eyes locked as his gaze swept over your body before returning to meet yours. With a playful smirk, he lifted your hand and drew you closer, his arm wrapping around your waist.

As the beat pulsated through the air, he began to shimmy his shoulders, a glint in his eyes. A smile adorned his lips when you instinctively started swaying your hips, matching his energy.

"I don't know where I belong, I don't know where I went wrong, but I can write a song," Lance sang along with the words, his voice as silky as butter. Oblivious to the effect he was having on you, he seamlessly continued on to the chorus, his energy contagious and captivating. You struggled to keep up with the whirlwind of feelings surging through your veins.

A genuine smile graced your lips as Lance playfully tried to engage you in the dance, guiding your arms and encouraging any movement. Laughter bubbles forth as he effortlessly twists you every which way. In the midst of the moment, the encounter with your mother fades into insignificance, and any lingering irritation dissipates.

You're overwhelmed with appreciation for the lengths your 'boyfriend' is willing to go to keep up an appearance.

Lance extends his arm, spinning you around before pulling you close, your bodies meeting. Your forearms align with his chest, and his hands firmly hold yours against his body as he continues to sing.

The lyrics escape his lips, "I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart," and in that moment, everything else fades away, leaving only the two of you entwined in a dance that feels like pure magic.

You're already breathing a little heavier after the song had ended, beads of sweat trickling down your forehead but the man who'd constantly been spinning and twirling you around looked effortlessly handsome still. The perks of being fit, you supposed.

"I love this song." You listened a little closer then laughed when Lance began singing again, but messed up the lyrics a little.

"It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something stu- dumb to do." The note way off-key meant you couldn't help but chuckle, finding his imperfection endearing. Your head naturally found its place nestled in the dip of his collarbone as he joined in with your laughter.

Moments later, you lifted your head, resuming the dance with him. Once the chorus had begun, he quickly found his rhythm, the music guiding his movements flawlessly.

As the DJ continued to spin songs perfectly suited for a lively and exuberant wedding reception, a few guests eventually broke off from the floor to take a break or grab another drink.

However, you and Lance showed no signs of faltering. Fuelled by the atmosphere, you both remained in sync, undeterred by the fact that it'd been a while you'd been dancing. The music seemed to invigorate you, carrying you both through the night as you danced with unwavering enthusiasm, creating sparks of energy and joy on the dance floor.

As you settle onto a stool by the bar, your now sister-in-law taps you on the shoulder, holding a drink filled with clear liquid in her hand. Leaning down to ensure you hear her, she whispers, "you guys look great together."

Despite mustering a smile, a sour feeling comes over you. On one hand, it feels amazing that you and Lance have managed to convince everyone of your relationship, but you know it's not real. Your feelings for him are genuine, but he remains your colleague and friend — nothing more.

"I don't know how much it means coming from me, but he seems like a really good guy." You look up to meet her gaze, she tugs her dress closer to her legs to sit on the stool opposite you. "Can you tell my mom that?" She smiles, remaining cautious but you understood why. That is her mother-in-law now.

"I don't get the ex thing. The way you look at Lance, I don't know, you never looked at Thomas that way." She leans in to add convincingly, she was only dating your brother during the brief time you were seeing your ex, but the fact that she sees right through you makes you wonder just how obvious your attraction really is. To Lance especially.

You smile appreciatively nevertheless, at least someone's in your corner.

When you feel a presence come up behind you, you don't hold back a grimace when Thomas steps forward. You mouth 'save yourself' to your sister-in-law who chuckles, giving you a small hug before being whisked away by your brother, her husband, as he invites her to dance.

He takes her spot on the stool and you move to get up but he grabs your arm, "five minutes." You shrug his grip off of you and sit back down, pushing your stool a little back to maintain some distance. "Two."

"You're not serious about the F1 bloke, are ya?" You sigh, wiping the tip of your nose with your thumb to catch the tiny drop of sweat.

"I don't have to explain my life choices to you but just so you know, yes, I am serious about him." You state as if it should be clear, although maybe it was. In another reality far from this one, nobody would bring their partner to a family wedding unless they were truly committed to them.

"I know he's not your boyfriend, Y/N," Tom stares at you intently as he finishes his sentence, clearly anticipating any change in your demeanor or facial expression, causing you to suppress any visible reaction. But you're quite certain that your internal organs momentarily ceased functioning.

"What're you on about?" You question him.

He scoffs, as if you're just prolonging the inevitable truth. "At best, he's a friend. There's no way that dude's your boyfriend." You want to ask him how he caught on but didn't know how to word it so you chuckle instead, albeit a little nervously.

"You're funny." You say bitterly but Tom shrugs, a smirk on his lips, oozing confidence and surety in what he was saying as if he was aware this wasn't alcohol talking but the facts he'd built up since this weekend began.

"Come on. The air mattress in your bedroom, obviously has been slept in. On top of that, I haven't even seen you kiss the guy, just hugs and hand holding. People manage that with their mates."

You're beginning to get angry and you wonder if the two minutes you'd allowed him had grown to pass, "perving on my bedroom are we?" You suggest disgustingly through gritted teeth and Tom rolls his eyes, knowing you were stalling to gather a possible answer.

"I went to the bathroom, door was wide open. It's not like you tried to hide it." The smugness in his voice made you want to slap him but out of the corner of your eye, you saw your sister-in-law tap Lance's arm and point in your direction. You hid the relief washing over you, and swallowed your words.

"I couldn't give a shit about how you feel about my relationship." The anxiousness settling into the pit of your stomach caused you to feel a little nauseous.

"Mm-hmm, 'relationship'," he says, using air quotes with his fingers as he takes his hand off of his glass, followed by a playful wink directed at you. The feeling of nausea grows stronger, but you distract yourself when Lance places his hand on the small of your back.

Without wasting another moment, Tom leaves when Lance glares at him, leaving the two of you alone. He immediately redirects his attention towards you, his gaze fixed, wordlessly asking if you're okay.

"He knows," your voice shakes as you meet his eyes.

"Who?" He asks.

"Tom. He - figured it out. He knows we're not dating, he knows about the extra mattress in my room, he knows." You find yourself repeating, your mind in a frenzy as you whisper whatever you recall of the situation to the man currently hovering over you.

Your eyes glance behind Lance's body as you watch your ex go over to Kevin, interesting him in a conversation that you have no doubt is about his recent discovery.

"He's going to tell my brother, he's going to tell everyone-" You cut yourself off when Lance pushes his hand into your back, forcing you to meet his eyes again. Though this is not the time for it, the contact causes somersaults to erupt in your body.

"No he's not. He's not going to do anything, don't let him fuck with you." He reassures you, advising you to try and forget the encounter but it's all that is playing on your mind. You can't have him unwrap this entire weekend like a present waiting to be opened and showcased to everyone.

"Come on, it's the slow dance." You huff, finding right now a pretty stupid time to join your date for a dance. He sensed your hesitation, pulling you up by the hand much like he did a while ago.

"Isn't now a good as time as ever to convince everyone we are in love?"

You think about his question for a while then realise he had a point, you nod and let him guide you back to the dance floor, in a crowd full of many other couples doing the same thing.

You interlock your fingers around his neck, his hands finding their rightful places on either sides of your waist. You both begin to sway and you can see Tom standing just off of the floor, his eyes obviously trained on you and the F1 driver.

Lance looks down into your eyes to break your concentration, there was a subtle softness in them that you knew you could only claim as your own.

"What if he does tell everyone?" You whisper to him but he only smiles, contrasting you massively. One thing that differed between you was the lack of anxiousness in him and the load of it inside of you.

"A mattress can easily be explained, and he has nothing to prove that we're not dating." You swallow, remembering the other point Tom made in the short conversation.

"H-he said we haven't-" Lance's eyebrows furrow as your speech falters so you decide to rephrase it. "We only hug and stuff, to him couples do more than that."

"And to you?" You meet his lingering gaze, "what?"

His eyes fall to overlook your expression before catching your stare again, "what do you think couples do?" You subtly shrug when Lance tugs you closer to him. "I-I don't know. Traditional couple stuff." You curve around the obvious answer and he chuckles, nodding his head.

His eyes flicker to your lips and you could swear your heart skipped a beat, or maybe multiple beats. Your heart was fluttering vigorously within your chest, its rhythmic pounding so intense that you wondered if Lance could hear it if he focused hard enough.

You gazed at him, momentarily lost in admiration without any specific thoughts occupying your mind.

He observed you attentively, analysing you with deep contemplation. There was obviously something playing about his mind, but you couldn't decipher it, he'd never been one to read easily. He tucked in his bottom lip.

No words were exchanged but your chest was conveying more than enough, just as Lance's was. His emotions seemed to be a mix of nervousness, anxiety, and perhaps even panic. He couldn't understand why, this would only be a justifiable favour.

His gaze again shifted from your eyes to your lips, and the agitation in your body reached such a level that you felt your ribs may explode from the sheer feeling pent up inside of you. Raw emotions surged, unearthing feelings that perhaps you hadn't been sure about before. They were springing to life, blooming ever so confidently.

But so were you, every new sensation coursing through your veins made you feel alive, but frightened you too. It was powerful, overwhelming and a sensation that had never quite been matched with previous boyfriends.

You noticed the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallowed, the rapid rise and fall of his chest. In response, you leaned in closer. You didn't want him to retreat from this proximity, despite the anxiousness gripping you.

You couldn't help but wonder the potential consequences that could arise. Any platonic friendship you'd built up until this point would be shattered. Lance sensed your distraction and squeezed your waist in response, "how's the knee doing?"

You sigh out an unsteady breath, "g-good." Your gaze was darting between his eyes, barely formulating a clear response to his question, obviously lacking confidence. You knew the song was only a couple of moments away from ending, though there was no countdown, everything felt perfect enough for it to happen now.

Your face began to warm up, "I-I'm not the only one who's having all these feelings, am I?" You asked ambiguously, half-fearing his response.

Lance knew exactly what you meant, it seemed a little inconclusive to make assumptions on such an open-ended question but the breathless look on your face and the glint in your eyes both served as hints.

"No," the ends of his lips curve slightly into a smile, only to serve as assurance that he wasn't answering for convenience but because he was telling the truth and he too was sick of having to hide it.

Lance moved maybe a centimetre or an inch closer to you, his proximity was so close that the tip of his nose brushed against yours, causing your eyelids to flutter. His hands slid slowly from either sides of your waist to your back, interlinking.

Your lips parted instinctively, your mind becoming clouded, and any trace of logic vanishing from your thoughts.

His bottom lip skimmed over your top one and you could've sworn your body had turned into jelly, you could feel him smile faintly before his mouth closed around yours. For a moment, neither you or Lance breathed.

Perhaps to give the other ample time to process this was really happening. A blush crept on to your cheeks, his lips began to move, enticing you to join him in an illusive dance.

You released a content sigh through your nose which only offered Lance more assurance, continuing to kiss you with eagerness you didn't know he had. You toyed with a few strands on the back of his head, gently tugging at his neck to urge him closer.

He hummed in response, happily complying with your unspoken command. You pulled away to catch your breath, he allowed you to step impossibly closer to him as people began curving you to go back to their seats as the next song began.

You took the minute you had to appreciate just how good he looked, his eyes light, his lips pink, and his fair skin glowing even under the DJ's overhead spotlights.

You met his lips again, remaining there for a few seconds before he moved against them, kissing you a few times. "God, you're amazing." He whispered when you detached for the final time, blushing but making no effort to conceal it anymore.

...

Part 7

Masterlist

Two more parts to go!

Taglist: @fantasticbouquetwitchsthings @topguncultleader @spicyclover @amirahart @softiecaro @alilstressyandlotdepressy @eugene-emt-roe @e-lisa-bettan @strolleclercs @jjsprobablywrong @carmelita-holland @flowerchild-96 @rd14 @honethatty12 @gaslysainz @pierre-gasssllyy @lestappenloverr @secretlyangrymagazine @chiliwhore @mentallyunstablebish @mcmuppet @xscorpioxmoon @ferrariloverr @rivivie @starkeyellow @vanillascreams @tororossoseb-blog @hiphopdancer101universe @hc-dutch @love4lando @chonkybonky @angstyeighteen @natasharomanoffisbaebby @little-angel-07 @voidskywxlker @vildetry-06 @sharllec @aundercover @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @spicyclover @mloyer @alesainz @hockey-racing-fubol @cinnamonroll2003 @honeyric3 @nikki01234 @purplephantomwolf @mindflay3r @ttzjune @xitsyaiizax @dylylylylyly @junhuilvrrr @f1-hyperfixation

[that-one-gay-hufflepuff]

NPMD moments that made me hysterical (long post)

“Hehe they twisted his nipples off” 1:17

“They shit on my car sometimes!” 1:46

“🎶IM DEAD.🎶” 2:10

shit how do I not put the whole show on here….

“pRoBLeMaTiC PoOcH” 3:47

“Well, I got left behind this morning, bus driver’s a fucking asshole.” 5:00

“My titties are tenderized” 8:06

“Everyone knows how he bANGS” 9:47

“It’s third period shit-lips, I’ve gotta get to remedial algebra.” 10:50

“Oh, well, there’s a difference between intent and impact. I learned that at the anti-bullying assembly last month FUCK-NUGGET” 11:08

“Ha, hahaha, SPUNK.” 13:03

“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is ✨jeSus cHrist✨, mKay.” 13:56

“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you. -In other words, shut up.” 16:33

“Stephanie, do you have any idea what’s coming up in a mere matter of weeks?

The elec-

The Election.”

16:46

“Did you just throw your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone.” 18:12

“HOW. AM I SUPPOSED TO STUDY. WITHOUT LISTENING. TO SPOTIFY. OK????” 18:39

“This projects on thermodynamics, what the fuck are you talking about.” 19:14

“What was it like when she touched your arm…. 👏🏻Did you cum.” 20:09

“naNI”

21:06

“….what is she saying…. ..wHAT THE FUCK IS SHE SAYING.” 21:27

“YOURE TELLING ME I GOTTA BE FUNNY AGAIN???? I DIDNT DO IT ON PURPOSE THE FIRST TIME???” 23:03

“I’m as cool as she thinks I am 👉🏻👈🏻 I’m as cool as she thinks I am 👉🏻💞👈🏻 Oh whoa whoa. MMM” 25:09

“so you’re a POOR piece of shit then?” 27:11

EDIT-ALSO SHOUTOUT TO @loooongfurby4444 FOR REMINDING ME AB: “Awwww… Had to sell your bow tie to feed your fucking family :C???”

“Well, nothing says yummy like a mouthful of Mother’s meatloaf.” 29:16

“I only believe in one ghost Grace, the Holy Spirit that resides in all our hearts…” 29:51

“Me? And Max? In carnal embrace? That’s ridiculous! Mom, will you pass the butt-stuff?- …the butter, will you pass the butter. I just want some head and butter- BREAD. BREAD AND BUTT-SEX TO GO WITH THIS BIG SHAFT OF MEAT IM ABOUT TO CHOKE DOWN.” 30:38

“You all just watch each other pee??? Oh, it’s better than I ever imagined!” 40:03

“I’m not breaking anything, my dad’s the realtor. *ear shatteringly loud key jangling*” 42:25

“WELL THEN IM GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT THE WHOLE THING IN A WIDE, AND ITS GONNA LOOK LIKE SHIT.” 47:37

“‘You’re like, super nice to me.’

‘Not really. I’m just doin the bare minimum here.’

‘You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.’

‘Oh, that’s sad.’

‘I think I’m in love with you’

‘…..ok 👍🏻….’” 48:37

“I always knew you fuckers were real! I’ve been scared of you my whole life! ….But it’s time to stop running. *downs beer can and crunches it against his head*” 56:16

“Oh shit! Oh fuck! I didn’t think there’d be a sKele’un here! I’m so fucking scared of sKele’uns!” (missed the time on this one)

“🎶We’re gonna bury the body 😀🎶” 56:54

“I just cut off his nips 😗” 58:10

“‘Hey Pete, wait up! Good news.’

‘You passed the test?’

‘With flying colors.’

‘Oh-ho! A….. C+. Steph that’s amazing!’” 1:00:10

-

I ran out of time so ima leave this as a part 1 and see if I finish…. K byeeeeeee

[ectobabble]

Glitter Roots Fic Snippet

✨Glitter Roots✨<- // I started this in January and it didn't do well, I wrote way too much, so I'm spamming it. Sorry.

---

Rate: PG | Sunshine x Sunny | Tooth Rot Fluff + Comfort

Reader/MC has Dissociative Identity Disorder

Glitter Roots is a prequel to 'The Imposter' from Shiny's perspective. Expecting to work with Sun and Moon in the theater, Shiny is disappointed that they were locked away in Parts and Service. ---- Meeting Sunny:

“SUNNY!” They exclaimed like a child, running up to him and dropping everything that they were doing with the technician.

Sun startled at the noise but eagerly stood up to greet them. “Hello! WOW. Your outfit? It’s exciting!” He pressed his hands against the glass. “Are you from the daycare?” He tapped his fingers on the glass nervously.

“I’m going to be at the daycare. It’s my first day! And then I went and talked to my boss, Lydia about what I’d be working on and she said that I’d be working mostly with you because she said that I remind her of her daughter and she said that we’d be good working together. Maybe her daughter is good with kids, she didn’t want to talk about it. You know her? Or remember her, I mean. She said she worked at the daycare before it closed down. Now it’s opening again and…” 

Shiny had to stop to take a large breath. You’re talking too much. Too excited again. Stop. Stop it. That didn’t stop their mouth from running. “I have been waiting to meet you for so long. I used to watch you perform back when you did theater! You were amazing!” 

Sun put up a finger, to try and wedge his way into the one-sided conversation but failed. 

“You can call me Sunshine. Lydia said we could put nicknames on our pins for the kids and I thought that was awesome! My friends used to call me Sunshine at summer camp! I wanted to keep it since it’s less serious and I thought it’d be cute. Actually, maybe I should have asked you first? Is that okay? I hope that’s okay! I should stop talking. Sorry. Talking. I’m talking more… It’s good to meet you. I hope we can hang out sometime!”

“Ho-Ho Ho! Aren’t you quite the chaaaatterbox! You say you’re in summer caaaaamp?! That sounds like so much fun! How old are you, little superstar? You look so tiny!”

Sunshine immediately lost all the charisma they had built up, so much so that Sun flinched at the sudden change in expression and tone. “I’m old enough to have a job… I like what I like and age shouldn’t matter… I heard you’re not a fan of adults either. I hope it’s not a bad thing.”

“Wow, really?” He cocked his head, though there was a noticeable change in his demeanor. “I can’t tell with the face paint.” He didn’t say whether it was alright or if he liked it… now that Shiny was thinking about it, he didn’t say if their name was alright either. They weren’t making a good impression with anyone… 

Sunshine: …I gotta fix it. It can’t end like this, they’ll take over and I’ll lose everything again. I can’t go BACK. This has to work so they can’t get mad at me.

If Sun didn’t like it then they could tone it down! Lydia seemed to think it was too much. The little kids liked it… Sunshine started analyzing everyone’s reactions during the day. Maybe their other was right, they weren’t cut out for this. They quit their only job, their safety net, and took a risk on a stupid dream-. “I’m glad you can’t tell. That’s good.” 

“Did you do face painting today?” Sun tilted his head, tapping the glass. “I would have loved that! Who painted you? Did Lydia?”

Sunshine winced, their voice had gotten much weaker. “I uh… did it before coming over. I figured it was okay because… kids… daycare.”

“It looks so happy! Like flower freckles!” He chuckled. “It matches the clips in your hair. I bet the kids liked it. It reminds me of the theater costumes we used to have! Ah, memories…” It sounded like it was sad nostalgia.

“Lydia got a little upset about it since the kids wanted to face paint too… I had to promise to not do it on days when we’re not painting. That’s my bad. I don’t think before doing things… I wanted it to be extra special. I really really really want to make this job work.” They closed their fists and and shook them to punctuate their words. They needed to be liked. They needed this job. They needed friends and have people depend on them. 

They couldn’t go BACK.

“I do remember Lydia! She is one of the nicer staff. I didn’t mind working with her… She’s such a nice granny. Do you know when I’m scheduled to get out? I have been very good. They say I’m all better now! Healthy! Tip top shape.”

Sunshine frowned. “I - uh - don’t… Actually, I’m not supposed to really be here. I came down after work… and the technicians are ignoring me right now so I think it’s okay?” Behind them were the technicians tolling away at some service bots, unbothered by Sunshine hanging around. 

“Rulebreaker.” He gasped.

“Not really. See, I got a pass!” They showed Sun their security badge. “My workday ended and I just came here because Lydia said that you were here and I really wanted to see you. I’ve always wanted to work with kids and never got the opportunity to apply.”

“Juuuust because you have the means, does not mean that it is right.” Sunny crossed his arms and looked away dramatically, then he completely dropped the act and leaned down to be face to face with them and whisper, “I am glad you visited though. It’s been a while since I’ve talk talk TALKED with someone new. You look like a rainbow threw up on you!” He giggled. “You must like color a lot.” Sunny prompted them, trying to continue the conversation. He probably was just as attention starved as Sunshine was.

But he didn’t like it, did he?

“I do.” Sunshine was afraid they were going to slip from being out again. If there was one thing their other fed off of it was insecurity and doubt, and they could get a full meal out of something as small as this.

Other: Did you put this shit in our hair again? Oh man, where are we? Are you playing dress up? Are we out in public looking like a clown?! Against their will, Sunshine began to take the pins out of their hair. It was a losing the battle. As they lowered the head to pull the clips out, the light caught on the glitter roots.

Sun gasped. “You got glitter glue all up in your hair!”

Sunshine was shaking a little. People liked it though, right? They made people smile today and the kids seemed to like it… “Oh. I did that on purpose. It’s hair gel mixed with glitter. It’s a trend.. Or it was…” That was a scary thought too; it was a trend eight years ago and yet they remembered seeing it like yesterday. “I saw it online and I thought it’d be cool to try. It’ll wash out… and its biodegradable. Team Mother Earth! Haha…” Sunshine cleared their throat, pulling another clip out.

“No no no! I’m sorry, new friend! It looked good! I haven’t seen a person that colorful before. You look like a little fairy. Heh!”

“I realize now that I overdid it…” Sunshine was getting self-conscious, a foreign feeling.

“You look perfect for the daycare! Don’t listen to the sticks in the mud! I’m sure the kids loved it! Avant garde! Inspired! You look like arts and craaaaafts.” Sun sang as he spun his rays. “That’d be great at parties - we should play dress up with the kids sometime to do plays! I’d love that! We should definitely do that.”

“I want the party on the inside to match the party on the outside.” Sunshine was gaining their confidence back, if only a little. “I hope, uhm, we get along when you come back out.”

Sun clapped his hands. “We shall see! I’m so excited to see the kids again! We’re going to have so much FUN! We should add face painting sometimes! I miss fingerpainting. My ballpit! It’s still there?”

“It is!” Sunshine suddenly jumped, remembering something important. “Here! I wanted to give you something anyway. I got this for you because it’s my first day and I figured ‘Hey, this would be cool! Maybe he’d like it as a welcome present back to the daycare.’ I used to watch you do theater before and it really helped get me through some dark times. That’s pretty much the reason I wanted to start working here is because I wanted -.” They took a much needed deep breath. “Sorry. I meant to say: I got you this.”

Shiny lifted up a little party bag they had prepared and impatiently waited all day to give to him. 💖

[regulusmoonbeam]

OH DAMN OKAY— THINK ABT WHAT U WANT ME TO DO NEXT OKAY

tw talks of ww2, abuse, and other sensitive topics

UHHHHH ILL DO WALBURGA BC U WERE TALKING ABOUT HER EARLIER

I hate her, I'll preface this with that, but I'm just diving into her character and how she became the way she did

we know almost basically nothing about her, besides her relationship to Sirius and reg, and what she kinda did

but like her when she was younger

but first, we've gotta analyze the time period and how that affected her values

Sirius was born in 1959, and if we estimate Walburga was somewhat young when she had him (seeing as she was probably betrothed) so let's place her at having Sirius in her 20s maybe like 23-25

so that means she was born around 1934 at the very least (In this scenario)

and while ww2 is going on for the muggles, don't you think it'd be a perfect time for blood supremacists to kill a bunch of muggles and halfbloods without getting caught?

I'd think so

So like the black family being who they are, had engrained it in their children from a young age that anyone that wasn't a pure blood was automatically beneath them

and as a child who was extremely wealthy due to her blood, why would walburga find an issue with that? not to mention she was very smart, which seemed to even further prove her parents point

she was the top of her class, cold and calculating, but knew how to be diplomatic

everyone either adored her or hated her, usually both

she was destined for greatness, to be a prominent figure in the wizarding world, but sexism would never allow things to be that simple

she was able to get a job at the ministry of magic at the young age of 19, it was never seen or heard of before, for someone so young and talented (and a woman) to get that job

the same job Orion Black wanted. Orion was never far behind his cousin when it came to grades, prominence, or anything else, but he was always second to walburga

it was always walburga this, Walburga that, and Orion— knowing his whole life he was to be married to her— was ready to cash in on that vow and take Walburga's job away from her

this is how, in the 1930s for certain jobs women were forced to resign if they had gotten married, and I feel like this would have been especially true in the wizarding world

so a few years after getting a lower level job at the ministry than walburga did, he brought up the topic of marriage to his parents, spouting stuff about how they should get married now and try to have kids now before it was too late, and before walburga's prominence withered

and they agreed. so that next year after they turned 22, Orion and walburga were married

needless to say, walburga was PISSED but she knew it was useless to protest getting married, so all she asked for was one more year at her job and one year to plan the wedding

which meant she had 2 years to postpone the wedding, hence why they got married at 22 and not 20

But even then, Walburga knew it was Orion's jealousy that did this to her. doomed her to be a "submissive and inferior being"

She wanted to be ahead, to show how much better she was than everyone else, not stuck inside a house taking care of kids

which is where Sirius and regulus come in

I would like to preface this by saying she was never a good mother in my mind, but she wasn't as gung ho as abusive at first

she has Sirius when she was 23, and regulus when she was 25

She was just neglectful at first, not taking care of Sirius more than the bare minimum, and even then, sometimes she didn't do that

Sirius mainly taken care of my house elves, barely seeing his mother for the first four years of his life, and if he did see her, she was curt, dismissive, and short tempered

but she never physically hurt him

that wasn't until regulus came along. Regulus' pregnancy was much harder on walburga than Sirius', which only pissed her off more when he was born

Sirius, being only a toddler when regulus was born, was the object of walburgas newfound wrath

he would be left without food for periods of time, threatened when he cried, and more

but it wasn't until he was 4 that the punishments upped. with age came a stronger body, and a stronger body meat it could sustain more damage

that's when the beatings started, it would be a slap here an there, instructions to use corporal punishments in his tutoring if he was wrong, getting hit in the knuckles with rulers if he cried

Sirius got most of walburgas attention at this point in time, since Sirius had asked kreacher to keep regulus away from their mother as much as possible

when Sirius was 7 and regulus was 5, the cursed started. the unforgivables

every year spent in that house was one more year walburga got more bitter, more angry. and she couldn't take it out on her husband, so who better and more vulnerable than the kids?

she ground the teachings her parents taught her as a child into them, to extremes, with punishments if they didn't obey

the first unforgivable she used was when little Sirius had asked her why their bloodline made them better than everyone else

and without so much as an answer, she used her first crucio on Sirius

the little boy writhed in pain and a part of walburga couldn't help but enjoy it, seeing him in pain

it was payback, revenge for the life they took away from her. making them feel only a portion of her pain.

but if she couldn't do it herself, she would mold her children into everything she was supposed be and more, and would make sure they wouldn't stray

which is why Sirius leaving destroyed her so much. Sirius was very smart, he reminded walburga of herself when she was younger, but he always always went against what she wanted and she couldn't stand it

she believed that the more harsh she got, maybe he would finally fall into line, to let her live through him

he was her only way out, even if by living vicariously through him

but then he left. he put a stain on their family. she despised him. how could her son betray her like that when he was destined for greatness?

She couldn't fathom it. she allowed herself one mistake, one slip up. she wouldn't mess up again. she'd get it right with regulus.

she was harsher on regulus than anyone could have ever imagined, and Orion didn't even care. He had what he wanted, his high up job and an heir, who cared about the disowned son now?

Regulus, having no one left to protect him faced the full force of walburga, and obediently fell into line

he was the perfect heir, at least on the outside. he was smart, but not the way walburga wanted him to be. she wanted another sirius, but had a regulus

she made sure he studied, and was at the top of his class. if he wasn't, she made sure he knew what would happen

and when Voldemort arose, she made sure he was on track to joining the death eaters

walburga was elated she was finally going to get what she wanted, but then regulus died. she was crushed, a shell of her prominent, assertive self after that. because once more, she was so close, and yet gotten her dreams taken from her

Even the fact that Orion(the person who took everything from her)died that same year couldn't bring her back to herself

she died years later, alone in the house she was trapped in

ARRGRHRHEGHEHEHEHEHRGRHEGEGEGEHEHRHERGEHHRHGHGHGHGHHGH

ARGHGHGHHGHHGHGHH

OH MY GODDDDD

IM GONNA TWEAK