#sometimes you get obsessed with rats

[ratsdontmurder]

[scatterbrainedbot]

THROWING THIS DOODLE AT YOU WITH AGGRESSIVE AFFECTION!!

Wanted to render it but ran out of time :') BUT PLEASE KNOW!! Your Rat son au is my Roman empire. I think about it at LEAST once a week, like the designs and concepts and characterization and UGH EVERYTHING!! ITS ALL SO GOOD!! AND UR STYLE?? IM FOREVER CONSUMING IT!!! Literally peek nostalgia, comfort, even thru the angst its just so perfect im-

and- and splinter just bring me so much joy. Hes so goofy and soft and I sob every time I see him, imagine getting like the most gentle and affirming hug- I would cry immediately.

AHHHH!! ANYWAY STAY AMAZING ZACH!! :D <33333

TRIONA

TRIONA. TRIONA I AM SHAKING.

OH MY GOD???? LIKE OH???? MY GOD??????? THOSE ARE MY BABY SONS OH MY GOD THEY ARE GORGEOUS AND COZY PERFECT AMAZING I AM FULLY EMOTIONAL

LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEMMMMM AHHHHHHHHHH I CANT STOP STARING AT THEM BUT ALSO HAVE TO LOOK AWAY BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY TEARING UP?????

I LOVE THAT U CAN TELL A STORY FROM JUST THEIR POSES AND POSITIONS LIKE MIKEY DEF CAME OVER TO PESTER DONNIE AND FELL ASLEEP ON HIS LAP SO DONNIE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO STAY AND NAP TOO (cause its illegal to disrupt little brothers sleeping in ur laps of course, same rule as cats) AND THEN LEO WANDERED IN AND PROBABLY SMILED THAT AFFECTIONATE BIG BROTHER SMILE BEFORE CURLING UP BESIDE THEM THEN RAPH CAME A LIL BIT LATER WONDERING WHERE EVERYONE WAS AND AFFECTIONATELY CALLED THEM A BUNCH OF BOZOS BEFORE TAKING A SEAT WITH THEM (in a semi blind spot too the protective little baby) AND HE DIDNT MEAN TO FALL ASLEEP BUT IT WAS JUST TOO COZY AND AHHH

UGH AND THEN OLD MAN SPLINTER COMES TO CHECK ON THEM AND THOSE ARE HIS BABIES HIS LITTLE BOYS I AM SOBBING TRIONA I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH I AM BEYOND WORDS

[talkbycolor]

MC's kindergarden . . . ↷

Yanderes as toddlers AU

GN!Reader as a teacher who doesnt get paid enough for this.

CW: just a bunch of weird kids wanting to marry their teacher, keep scrolling

Sunny Day Jack.

the golden child, the angel of the classroom, he is a little devil in disguise, getting his classmates into trouble so that his teacher thinks he is the best

he looks like a mini teacher, he teaches colors to his classmates and shares everything (except the teacher)

uses guilt to convince his teacher, but with that little face and red cheeks, who wouldn't fall for it?

a very intelligent child but he is selfish, he learned to steal cookies from the kitchen and has not told anyone

he gives part of his lunch to his teacher, he likes to eat and sit next to him, he is the child who gives bouquets of flowers picked from the playground (MC already scolded him so he should look for other places to get flowers)

MC doesn't usually scold him often since he manipulates and makes kicked puppy eyes to get his way, a mini bastard

John Doe.

probably autistic and socially anxious child, very attached to MC, they must always accompany him to go to the bathroom, he eats in the classroom during recess time while MC teacher accompanies him

this is the child you have to make sure doesn't go through the trash or eat the crayons

he is actually a very sweet boy, MC usually combs his hair before school so it doesn't bother him, for some reason Doe always has it tangled and dirty

he can't count to 10 with his hands, poor thing

cat-like affection, gives insects or interesting things he found on the playground to his teacher

when the children play house, he is the mascot

Alan Orion.

boy obsessed with outer space, his lunch box and clothes are full of planets and stars

wants to impress MC with his knowledge about space, he usually tells them facts about galaxies and constellations during classes

MC of course would notice certain marks on Alan's little body, he would feel protective of the child (llamen al dif)

he steals things from his classmates, he was already scolded several times by MC

animal lover, once brought a moth he found on the playground into the classroom and Doe ate it, he cried for thirty minutes while MC comforted him

when he plays with puppets he pretends that one puppet is him and the other is MC, usually his games are of them getting married and living in the forest

Peter Dunbar.

a very sociable child simply because he is indifferent to all other people other than MC, he enjoys causing mischief to his classmates who play with MC

MC has to make sure Peter doesn't bite his fingers or scratch his face, a habit he has while concentrating

Peter looks like a bald rat when it's very hot weather, which MC finds funny, but they still puts sunscreen on him so the boy doesn't get sun-burned

even though there are many things that Peter doesn't like, like swimming, fruits or singing, he would do it for MC, adding the biggest embarrassment of his life by doing group dance with his classmates but happy to see his favorite teacher smiling

he would bring sweet lunches to share with his teacher, lying by saying that it is too much and he can't eat it all by himself (Peter loves sweet lunches but he loves his teacher more)

probably draws him and MC on the board with lots of hearts around them, causing the other kids in the classroom to start crying because they want to be the only ones for MC

Ren.

a cutie with his teacher, a bastard with everyone else, he knows how to maintain that image very well to fool MC

he sneaks into the staff room to see you, very attentive, isn't he? sometimes he leaves small gifts on your table

fights with Peter every time he tries to get him in trouble with the teacher, he must maintain his good boy reputation for you to love him!

the last time a girl confessed to him, Ren pushed her into the mud of the playground and made her cry, unfortunately the girl told MC and Ren also cried, not because of the scolding but because he didn't want MC to think that he was bad

once he saw you outside of class time, you were at the supermarket and he panicked because he had fake tattoos that he put on (they came in the packaging of the gum he ate)

MC would come to think that Ren lives in a super religious way since he always draws angels. Ren doesn't draw angels, he draws an angel (you)

Mycheal.

another little manipulator but this one cries every time he tricks MC and gets hugs illicitly (little baby)

he is a very hardworking child in class when it is time to do manual work, he likes to make small paper flowers for his teacher

the baby gets very sad every time he is left out of school projects, he doesn't know why no one seems to like him. surprisingly, he managed to get along fairly well with John Doe until he noticed his interest in MC

usually wraps his tail around MC's leg whenever he feels nervous or sick, that has been an indicator for MC to lull the child

kid who is a cotton candy fan, Peter pushed him while they were playing on the playground and his candy fell to the ground (he cried for 40 minutes)

kitten boy starts purring when MC praises his work

Keith and Tenebris.

as for them, I decided that they were twins in this AU (tenebris still has his blue skin and strange smile), they don't seem to get along very well and have a marked rivalry because they both want MC for themselves

Keith usually hates being in the classroom because his classmates are very noisy, MC has tried to help him with the overstimulation so that it is not an uncomfortable experience, since then Keith loves going to kindergarten

Tenebris does not get along with most of his classmates (if not all), he came close to befriending John Doe and Mycheal because they know what it's like to be treated differently because of how they look, but Doe scared him off by showing him a pair of beetles he found on the playground and Mycheal…well, just by being a liar

Keith is a very dedicated child, he likes to take care of the flowers in the playground with the help of MC, his teacher usually reads books about facts about flowers and apparently Keith is one of the few who pays attention (he cries every time that Jack plucks flowers from the garden to give them to MC)

Tenebris uses a toy guitar from the classroom to serenade his favorite teacher, that always kills MC with cuteness (Tenebris gets angry because it's not a real guitar)

when there are school trips, Keith always takes his teacher's hand and tries to pull them to see everything he finds interesting with them, whether it's a flower or a heart-shaped cloud

Tenebris always takes advantage when playing with swords with his classmates to satisfy his violent need to hurt everyone who likes MC, the game ends up turning into a real battle and Tenebris is scolded

Solivan Brugmansia.

at first glance, MC thought that the boy was always upset and didn't like him being around, but Sol just doesn't know what to do like when he's around his favorite teacher

the quiet child in the classroom, prefers to do his work alone, always takes the opportunity to draw MC with chalk on the playground

the boy is obviously obsessed (and not in a fun way) with his teacher, his parents came to the classroom angry because Sol had his sketchbooks full of sketches of you

you are the only person he allows to hold his stuffed animal, he leaves it with you whenever he goes to the bathroom and asks you to play with it, you don't think it's strange that Sol has a stuffed horse, children have strange toys all the time

Sol is clearly a target for bullying, you know it, you see it, so you have to constantly check that he is not hurt (Peter put gum in his hair once and he cried a lot)

SURPRISINGLY, he is one of the few children who has REAL friends, he has Hyugo, a classmate from another class, Hyugo knows about his crush on MC and is not very secretive, Sol has to cover his mouth or push him to the sandbox to make him shut up

Damon.

puppy love, usually chases other children on all fours and licks snot from his own nose

barks every time someone gets too close to MC but in the end the scolding is always worth it since MC teacher strokes his head when he doesn't promise it won't happen again (it will happen again)

he will believe anything you tell him, he is quite gullible with the things that MC says, if his teacher tells him that he can't dig holes in the playground because giant insects will come out of there that will eat everyone, Damon believes it

sweet tooth, loves chocolate, MC has to be careful with what his students eat, Damon often hides chocolate bars in his pockets and that always ends in MC confiscating the chocolates

Damon has a friend in another class who he calls DG, he is his best friend and again Damon is one of the few kids with real friends in your class, DG knows that Damon likes you but unlike Hyugo he is more secretive

when there are school dances, Damon gives his all, always trying hard, not only because he loves to dance but he also loves when his favorite teacher applauds and praises him

 ♡

[toshn]

showing mark weird tiktoks :P this is really just pure brainrot i can’t takr it anymore it’s all over my fyp 💔🥀gn!reader i rhink and hero reader!! not proofread!!

it was 11:27 pm. you were doing your usual—doomscrolling on tiktok in bed while laying in mark’s arms after beating the shit out of criminals the entire day. it was the only time where you were able to just lay down and do nothing. if you weren’t born with powers, you would have definitely chose to rot in bed all day eating frosted flakes in the same pajamas you wore the previous day as opposed to working your butt off to fight crime. one could only dream

you’re new latest obsessions, of which mark was graciously subjected to never hearing the end of, was those weird ai generated photos of animals mutated with random things and the cute little japanese mouse-like creature—chiikawa. if you weren’t mouthing off about something a weird half-jet plane half-crocodile said, you’d be crying about how cute chiikawa is. or whoever ‘gluttonous king usagi’ is, as mark would say.

“mark. our streak mark. mark our streaks.” you mumbled with your cheek pressed against his chest, eyes still glued onto the screen in your hands.

“why do you keep sending me this rat in a suit who killed john pork? why is his wife having an affair with a pig?”

you giggled, laughing at the silliness of what came out of your boyfriend’s mouth. “tim cheese was a controlling piece of shit. he doesn’t deserve tina! she should’ve left him a long time ago!”

“and he didn’t have to kill john pork…” mark grumbled, scrolling further up to watch the other tiktoks you sent him. making sure to answer each one and keep your streak alive—or he won’t be hearing the end of it.

you rolled away from his grasp to instead press your stomach against him, your face inches away from his. “yeah! he was totally jealous of john pork. i’ll send you another tiktok so you’ll be able to educate yourself better about the ‘tim-cheese-john-pork saga.” you exclaimed, laying your cheek against him once more. the rumbling of his chest that came from his laugh making your heart swell with how soothing it sounded.

mark was really enjoying hearing you ramble about things he doesn’t even understand. hell, he was a geek himself. but if someone were to put you and him in the same room? (please do) it’s a different story. sometimes he doesn’t even get half of what you’re saying because he can’t catch up with internet humor nowadays—not that he has the time to do so. he patiently waited for you to find the video you were looking for, briefly looking at his own phone before he felt you perk up.

“here look! he betrayed john pork! i kinda feel like pengu is in on it… just- just watch the whole thing!”

and he indeed, watch the whole thing. his face was a flurry of emotions the entire time. he was frowning, furrowing his eyebrows, for a second you thought he was gonna throw hands himself. mark was clearly invested.

“i’m so scared for my life right now. what if i actually am next?”

you let out a hearty laughter, rolling away from mark and onto your back. he had the same reaction as you did the first time you watched the tim cheese lore video. and he even had the same look on his face when tim shot john pork’s head off clean.

“baby this is no laughing matter. who even made this? what beef do they have with john pork? i mean he clearly had pork you know.”

you continued on laughing, the absurdity of the entire conversation further fueling the fire and mark was suppressing his own laughter, determined to be the mature one between the two of you. mark shook his head. dismissing the tiktok that was still playing in the background as he watched you cradle your heaving chest while quiet giggles continued on under your breath.

“alright.” you deadpanned, “it’s no longer funny. i’m over it.” you sat upright, a faux stoic expression on your face and you looked mark right in the eyes— slowly getting back into the position you were once in.

mark shook his head in agreement, placing a hand on your back and rubbing circles on the area as he lifted his phone again to open tiktok. his attention still subtly on you. “yeah, you’re right.” he remarked.

“but what if… pengu actually framed tim cheese and he killed john pork? food for thought, (y/n). food for thought.”

masterlist.

[clockwayswrites]

Birdritch part 2 Yeah, there's a subscription post now...

Danny pulled another sweet potato fry from his bag before refolding the top to keep it warm. He’d finish all the fries before he even got home, he knew that, but that was future him’s problem. Right then being able to munch on the sweet, salty goodness as he took a shortcut through the park was just what he needed. There was something about Robinson park that always settled him.

It was probably because of the park’s wild, otherworldly nature that came from Poison Ivy’s control. It almost felt ghostly in how unreal it was. It was another thing Danny tried not to think too hard on and just enjoyed. It wasn’t that Danny was ignoring the fact that he was half ghost (as he always tried to convince himself), he just wasn’t dwelling on it anymore. Ghosts had consumed his life for so long and he needed a break.

Even before his accident (it was easier to just call it an accident when people asked about his scars), his parent’s obsession controlled their house, family, and lives. He got now that it wasn’t normal to grow up not cooking because the food might eat you. Or because your parents were too busy in the basement lab to remember. His time away from Amity Park in college made Danny realize that Jazz and his childhood had been at best unsafe and at worst negligent.

It had taken Danny a lot of therapy to be able to say those words.

Being honest, Danny still needed a lot of therapy, but there was only so much progress he could make when he couldn’t really explain that he was half dead and had spent the end of his childhood fighting ghosts, the government, and his parents. He was half tempted to try and track down Harley Quinn and see if she was up to taking on a new patient. (Danny was pretty sure that she wouldn’t rat him out to the authorities.)

A vine thrashed suddenly in front of Danny, hitting the sidewalk with a meaty thump.

Danny froze.

Fuck.

His phone was out of power.

He couldn’t check if something was going on in the park.

While Poison Ivy was much more Pamela Isley than rogue these days, as seen by the city just letting her have control of much of the park, she was still temperamental and the right— or wrong— sort of thing could set her and her plants off. (Sometimes the plants went off on their own. Everyone knew not to be a sleaze bag in Robinson park.)

Slowly Danny started to back up.

Several more vines wretched themselves out of the ground around him.

He could hear shouting somewhere off to his left. Out of the corner of his eye he could see movement from the plants that direction.

Alright, not angry at him then.

Danny crept forward slowly, keeping his motions as calm and small as possible. Just because they plants weren’t angry at him it didn’t mean they weren’t a threat to him. His best chance was to stay on the path and head in the direction away from the noise.

And away from the over sized flowers.

Well fuckity fuck.

Most things Poison Ivy could do weren’t really a threat to Danny. He could phase away from vines, after all. But the flowers? The flowers had pollen and pollen was an unknown; one that Danny didn’t want to be known. Sam was rather certain that the pollens could effect Danny in odd and unknown ways due to his half ghost nature.

He had refused to let Sam experiment on him to figure it out. Comparing her fervor to his parent’s helped shut that idea down for good. Danny didn’t regret avoiding being a lab rat, even as he was staring down the ruby red flowers to his right. He still just had to keep his motions as calm and small as possible.

The flowers were only an issue if they let their pollen out.

Danny started to move in as wide of an arc as he could around the flowers.

While they were closed up he was safe.

Danny’s left hand spasmed.

The paper bag of food crinkled.

The flower petals unfurled.

Fuck.

---

AN: I know there are issues, another no read through late night post, but I'm getting my serotonin where I can. Stay delightful, darlings.

[amyzworldds]

Title: Fitness Quest

Masterlist

Woozi, a fitness enthusiast, drags his lazy, homebody girlfriend out of bed for an early morning jog, tired of her frequent colds and low energy. Pairing: Woozi x reader Genre: Fluff

The sun hadn’t even thought about rising yet, and the world outside was still cloaked in that pre-dawn hush—perfect for sleeping, in yn's opinion. Curled up under a mountain of blankets, she was blissfully lost in dreamland, probably imagining a world where calories didn’t exist and couches came with built-in snack dispensers. Meanwhile, Woozi—her gym-obsessed boyfriend—was already up, lacing his running shoes with the kind of enthusiasm that made yn wonder if he was secretly a robot powered by protein shakes.

Woozi wasn’t just a “go to the gym sometimes” guy. No, he was a gym rat. The kind who had a favorite treadmill and a handshake with the guy at the supplement store. He thrived on early mornings, green smoothies, and the satisfying clank of weights hitting the floor. Yn, on the other hand, thrived on netflix marathons, instant ramen, and the art of doing absolutely nothing. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be healthy—she just figured her body was already doing its best by keeping her alive, so why push it?

The problem was, yn’s 'best' came with a side of frequent colds, low energy, and a general vibe of “I’ll get up in five minutes” that stretched into hours. Woozi, bless his heart, adored her anyway. He’d bring her soup when she was sick, tuck her in with extra blankets, and even let her whine about how “unfair” it was that her immune system betrayed her again. But lately, it was getting out of hand. Last week, she’d caught a cold again, and Woozi had spent three days playing nurse while she dramatically declared she was “one sneeze away from the grave.” Enough was enough. He loved her too much to watch her wilt like an unwatered houseplant.

So, today was the day. Operation “Get Yn Moving” was officially in motion. Woozi had planned it like a military strategist—step by step, easing her into exercise so her body wouldn’t go into full rebellion. Step one: a simple morning jog. Nothing crazy, just a light loop around the neighborhood. He’d even checked the weather (chilly but manageable) and laid out her comfiest sportswear the night before—a soft oversized hoodie, stretchy leggings, and sneakers she’d probably only worn twice.

At 5:30 a.m., Woozi crept into their shared bedroom, his gym-honed resolve unshaken by the sight of yn cocooned in the blankets like a human burrito. “Baby,” he whispered, nudging her gently. “Time to get up. We’re going jogging.”

A muffled groan emerged from the blanket pile. “Noooo… tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow,” she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. “Or I’ll drink vitamins. Promise. All the vitamins. Just… five more minutes.”

“Yn, you said that last week. And the week before. Come on, it’ll be fun.” Woozi’s tone was patient but firm, like a parent coaxing a toddler out of a tantrum.

She peeked one eye out, glaring at him like he’d suggested they climb Mount Everest barefoot. “Fun? It’s not even light outside! This is torture, Babe. Torture! I’m calling the police.”

He chuckled, unfazed. “You’re not calling anyone. You’re jogging. Let’s go.” Before she could protest further, he yanked the blanket off her in one swift motion, earning a dramatic yelp as the cold air hit her.

“Nooo! I’m fragile! You’re gonna shock my system!” she wailed, flopping back onto the pillow like a stranded fish.

“Your system’s been shocked plenty by all that instant ramen. Up you go.” Ignoring her theatrics, he scooped her out of bed, setting her on her feet. She swayed there, pouting, her hair a bird’s nest of chaos. He handed her a water—“Drink this, it’ll help”—and started tugging the sportswear onto her like she was a grumpy mannequin. She whined the whole time, muttering about how “leggings are oppression” and “sneakers are a conspiracy,” but Woozi was relentless. By the time he tied her shoelaces, she looked halfway decent—if you ignored the scowl.

“Perfect. Let’s move,” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the door.

“Babe, it’s freezing! I’ll die out there! You’re dating a popsicle!” she protested, dragging her feet as he hauled her outside. The sky was still a dusky gray, the air crisp and biting, and yn immediately hugged herself, shivering exaggeratedly. “This is how horror movies start. Early morning, creepy silence—next thing you know, I’m running from a monster.”

“You’re running with me, not from me,” Woozi teased, starting a light jog down the sidewalk. “Come on, keep up.”

Yn shuffled behind him, her “jog” more of a zombie stumble. “This isn’t keeping up! This is survival!” she huffed, already winded after ten seconds. Woozi, naturally, was in his element—breathing steady, pace smooth, looking like he could jog to the moon and back. Meanwhile, yn’s lungs were staging a full-on protest. “You’re too fast! Slow down! My legs are shorter!”

“They’re not that short,” he called back, glancing over his shoulder with a grin. “Just breathe, you’ll get the hang of it.”

“Breathe? I’m trying not to die!” She stopped dead in her tracks, hands on her knees, panting like she’d just run a marathon. Woozi didn’t notice at first, too focused on his rhythm, but when the constant stream of whining went silent, he turned around. There she was, a good twenty meters back, sprawled across a bench like a victorian lady who’d fainted from exhaustion. Her arms dangled over the sides, and her eyes were closed—either asleep or pretending to be.

“Yn,” he said, jogging back to her. “Are you serious right now?”

Her eyes fluttered open, and she gave him a pitiful look. “I’m resting. My body said ‘nope,’ and I respect its decisions.”

“You’ve been jogging for three minutes.”

“Three minutes too long,” she groaned, letting her head loll back. “Look at me. I’m adorable like this. Don’t ruin it with exercise.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. She was adorable, all flushed cheeks and pouty lips, but he wasn’t falling for it. “Nope. Up you go.” He grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet despite her protests. “We’re finishing this jog together.”

“Together? You’re basically usain bolt, and I’m a sloth with asthma!” she whined, but he kept her hand in his, tugging her along at a slower pace this time. She stumbled beside him, grumbling under her breath about “gym tyranny” and “protein shake propaganda,” but she didn’t stop. Not completely, anyway.

Every few minutes, she’d dig her heels in, forcing him to pause so she could “catch her breath”—which mostly meant bending over dramatically and declaring things like, “My lungs are quitting. Tell them I love them.” Woozi just stood there, hands on his hips, smirking at her theatrics.

“You’re doing great,” he said after her third break, squeezing her hand. “See? You’re not dead yet.”

“Yet,” she wheezed, glaring at him. “You’re lucky I love you, or I’d have faked a heart attack by now.”

He grinned, leaning down to kiss her sweaty forehead. “I love you too. That’s why I’m doing this. I want you around for a long time, whining and all.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

The jog—or, in yn’s case, the “near-death shuffle”—had finally come to an end. The sun was just beginning to spill its golden rays over the quiet neighborhood, casting long shadows on the pavement. Woozi slowed to a stop near a weathered wooden bench, his breathing steady and calm, while yn looked like she’d just survived an alien invasion. Her legs wobbled as she collapsed onto the bench, sprawling out like a starfish that had washed ashore.

“Sit here for a bit,” Woozi said, his voice gentle but still tinged with that no-nonsense tone he’d used to drag her out of bed. “You need to let your skin soak up the morning sun. It’s good for you��vitamin D and all that.”

Yn groaned, flopping her head back against the bench. “Vitamin D? My body doesn’t even know what that is anymore. It’s too busy screaming at me for this betrayal.” She rubbed her legs dramatically, as if they might fall off from the sheer audacity of exercise.

Woozi stood in front of her, arms crossed, looking every bit the picture of health with his flushed cheeks and steady posture. He didn’t sit—he never did after a jog; something about “cooling down properly”—but he softened when he saw her pitiful state. Yn, sensing his presence, scooted forward and pressed her forehead against his stomach, wrapping her arms around his waist in a half-hug, half-collapse.

“Babeee,” she whined, her voice muffled against his hoodie. “I’m so tired. And sleepy. And my legs hate me. And I hate jogging. And the sun’s too bright now. Can we go back to bed? Please? I’ll be good, I swear.”

He chuckled, the sound rumbling against her cheek, and brought a hand up to stroke her messy hair. His fingers were gentle, untangling the knots she’d accumulated from flailing around during their run. “You did great, you know,” he said, his tone softening into something warm and fond. “I’m proud of you.”

“Proud?” she mumbled, tilting her head up just enough to squint at him. “I stopped, like, ten times. And I’m pretty sure I’m legally a sloth now.”

“Still counts,” he teased, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face. “You made it through. That’s more than yesterday.”

She huffed, burying her face back into his stomach. “Yesterday, I was happy and cozy and not dying on a sidewalk. Take me home, Woozi. I need to recover from this trauma.”

He laughed again, letting her cling to him for a moment longer. The morning air was still crisp, but the sunlight was starting to warm things up, casting a soft glow over them. Yn’s breathing was still a little ragged, her chest rising and falling unevenly as she recovered from her “ordeal.” Woozi kept stroking her hair, patient as ever, waiting until she didn’t sound like she’d just run from a bear.

After a few minutes, her dramatic gasps settled into normal breaths, though her pout remained firmly in place. She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes. “Okay, I’m alive. Barely. Now what? Don’t say more jogging, or I’m breaking up with you.”

Woozi grinned, crouching down so they were eye level. “No more jogging. Promise.” He paused for effect, watching her pout twitch into something hopeful. “How about this: I’ll carry you home, make your favorite pancakes, and let you sleep as long as you want. And I’ll stay with you all day. Deal?”

Her eyes lit up like he’d just offered her the moon. “All day? Like, no sneaking off to the gym or fiddling with your music stuff?”

“Nope. Just you, me, pancakes, and the couch,” he confirmed, standing up and offering his hands to pull her to her feet.

Yn hesitated, then sighed dramatically as if it were a huge effort to stand. “Fine. You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Gym Rat. But if those pancakes don’t have extra syrup, I’m rioting.”

“Noted,” he said with a smirk, turning around and crouching slightly. “Hop on.”

She blinked at him. “Wait, you’re serious? You’re actually carrying me?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” He glanced back at her, eyebrow raised. “Unless you want to walk—”

“No, no, no!” she interrupted, scrambling onto his back before he could change his mind. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her chin on top of his head as he hoisted her up with ease. For a guy who spent half his life lifting weights, she was light as a feather—or at least, he made it look that way.

“Comfy?” he asked, starting the trek back home with her clinging to him like a koala.

“Very,” she mumbled, nuzzling into his hair. “You’re warm. And you smell nice. Way better than jogging.”

He snorted. “Glad I rank higher than exercise.”

“Barely,” she teased, though her voice was already growing drowsy. The steady rhythm of his steps, the warmth of his back, and the exhaustion from their morning adventure were lulling her into a sleepy haze. “Don’t drop me, okay? I’m too cute to fall.”

“I won’t,” he promised, adjusting his grip on her legs. “Just don’t fall asleep up there, or I’ll have to eat all the pancakes myself.”

Her head popped up instantly. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me,” he shot back, grinning as he felt her tighten her hold on him.

The walk home was quiet after that, save for yn’s occasional sleepy mumbles about pancake toppings and how she was “never jogging again.” Woozi just smiled to himself, the weight of her on his back a comforting reminder of why he’d dragged her out in the first place. She might’ve whined the whole way, but she was his—lazy, dramatic, and all. And as long as he had pancakes and patience, he’d keep her around for a long, long time.

When they finally reached their apartment, he set her down gently on the couch, where she promptly sprawled out like a cat claiming its territory. “Pancakes now,” she demanded, though her eyes were already half-closed.

“Coming right up,” he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead before heading to the kitchen. True to his word, he stayed by her side all day—pancakes, cuddles, and a nap-filled afternoon included. And if yn noticed the extra syrup he drizzled on her stack, well, she was too blissed out to complain.

[just-null]

Plz… do you have any yandere clone crumbs (or headcanons even)? I love this trope lmao

YOUR CULT LEADER IS SO GLAD YOU ASKED

[LONG yandere ramblings under the cut!]

THESE ARE ALL RANDOM STREAMS OF THOUGHTS. THERE'S NO ORDER. ALSO I'M NOT A WRITER SO FORGIVE ANY ERRORS!!!

General

They're all interested in the same type of person for different reasons. So if you catch the interest of one, you'll soon catch the interest of the others.

The clones are also pathological liars like the main body.

They're scrappy unfair fighters.

They'd all have a common trait of imposing themselves into your life. Whether or not you want to see them, they'll always pop up uninvited.

That and being disgustingly clingy to the point you can barely breathe without one of them there to share your air.

Their violence varies, but rest (un)assured that it is always an option for them, yes, even Hantengu.

Even if different, sometimes it really shows that they're a single unit.. sooner or later, your hands will be full with a bunch of annoying, needy, lying, terrible, and problematic assholes. 

They're all more intense than the average human. To them, a human life is as insignificant as an ant. They'd kill someone for the hell of it, or if it's an order from Muzan. That view doesn't change much if you're in the picture.

Now it's just a matter of not scaring you too much, hence, Hantengu’s chronic lying problem. They want to be the ones you rely and lean on. to feel comfortable with! Don't mind the blood. It's not like you haven't seen it on them before!

Relax, they truly never want to hurt you!!

Hantengu

Starting off with our man of the hour, Hantengu. He's aligned with delusional and obsessive types of yanderes, one who's too afraid to approach you but watches you from afar nonetheless.

You'd have to make an effort to find him since he'd most likely be shrunk into his tiny form and hidden in some small crevice.

It started off as a simple fascination. You probably made contact with him in his human disguise (accidental or not.) As he cowered, you were pretty decent.

It was a surprising but welcoming change of pace from the usual villains who'd try to harm him, but he still fled from you. He was going to eat you no doubt, but he kept putting it off until he lost his appetite.

He's terrified you might do something to him, that you'll hurt him! but the attention you gave him makes him yearn for your company. He wants to watch you all the time and quite literally, will do just that.

Hantengu's there when you wake up and when you go to bed. He's living somewhere in your home. Always watching.

With the ability to shrink very small and run extremely fast, you'd think you might have rats in your home. Each time you think you hear a snap, the rat traps always end up broken to pieces.

He sends his clones in his stead to test the waters after getting far too worried once you leave his sight. If you don't hurt them, then he'll know you're not so bad! Still won't approach, but a bit more calm when he's "around." or when they invade your life. 

Assuming the clones never stray too far from the main body (if they're physically able to or not, doesn't really matter) they never want to leave Hantengu unprotected, which means your home is the main base.

You can move, try running away, get help, or whatever, but it's all futile because Hantengu will hide in your items meaning the others will always end up finding you with him.

it's a rule of thumb for the Hantengus not to mention him for safety reasons and because he's already terrified as is and any unwarranted attention is probably bad... He'd be horrified to be under your gaze for long, which is why he prefers you with your eyes closed.

Hantengu is like your sleep paralysis demon. At the dead of night, he peeks out from wherever he's hiding and watches you.

With demonic speed, any flinch or shuffle from you has him hiding again, but if you awaken and keep your eyes closed, you can hear faint crying and sniffling while you slumber.

If it makes you uncomfortable or ruins your sleep, Hantengu doesn't put two and two together, it can't possibly be him. What a travesty..!

It'd be difficult to try and make contact since he's always watching from the sidelines or cowering and hiding away, but it'll get easier eventually when it's drilled into him that you won't be like the people he's met.

He genuinely believes that the world is full of evil villains that may hurt you, so if he sees someone that worries him, the clones will zero in on them.

Hantengu has a dangerously powerful influence on them.. combine that with his victim complex? terrible.

Sometimes all Hantengu needs is a single seed of doubt to be implanted in his mind before he's lying to everyone and deluding himself that you're getting manipulated.

That's when his clones step in, scouting out the place for the possible source of the problem. That or pick off random people one by one before you're back in their arms!

But it's not his fault that you're surrounded by overprotective, suffocating freaks! Trust!!

The upside is if you meet him, he's extremely docile. He doesn't do much aside from cower and weep, begging you not to hurt him. Attempts to hide are futile if you tell him to stay... like a deer caught in headlights. ironic.

One of the others are probably always in the room, if not all of them, making your interactions even more awkward. 

Once Hantengu warms up to the idea of having you know about his existence, you'd mostly find him in the pockets of your clothes or in areas where your trinkets would be strewn about.

It’s highly unlikely that he’d be violent in front of you, but that doesn't mean that the others won't be, (for his and your safety they say) Hantengu just cries about things or trembles at most with every sound making him flinch, huddling behind you in some way.

Hantengu often forgets he can go to his full height, usually being the size of your foot or smaller. If he's tiny, you'll see how he's a really harmless and defenseless victim of the world!

Nevermind how you sometimes catch the scent of blood coming from your home, only to find him cowering at the scene of a crime.

Depending on your demeanor, you're either a victim like him so you MUST stick together, or you're his savior.

He feels that safety and contentment when around you, but would rather stay on the side lines than risk anything. It's as if watching you do your daily routine is his stress relief.

It's absolutely awful if you're in danger or out of his line of sight for long. No reports from one of his clones? No most recent update to your whereabouts? No one is with you to inform him!?

Full panic attacks and inconsolable babbling about how you must be dead!! The world is so cruel and awful to him!!!

These types of reactions agitate the others, making them more worried if they're also in the dark. It's possible Hantengu would use Urami to go and find you himself in these rare instances. It'd be a disaster, but at least he'd have peace of mind..

At least you don't have to worry about Hantengu being jealous though. He's pretty tame, too focused on being afraid of everything else. The others handle his jealousy for him so that he doesn't worry.

Sekido

A mixture of highly jealous and possessive type, secretly protective as well! A mean tsundere is what you usually see, if not his common form of verbal abuse if he's too worked up.

The subtle flush on his cheeks takes the edge off his words if it's directed at you even if he blames it on being red in the face with anger because of you or [x] reason.

First impressions were probably that you were extremely annoying and would suggest eating you to the others whenever a situation arose. Thankfully the others prevented that from happening.

Sekido is one out of the two who'd accidentally hurt you. He never means to, but he forgets his own strength. In the beginning, instead of trusting you to follow him, he'd grab your wrist and drag you around with him to wherever he needed to be.

You could run away when he's not looking and cause an unwanted commotion, so it's best to have you on a tight leash leading to bruising sometimes..

Out of all of them, Sekido needed the most time to warm up to you. When he'd realized he'd fallen for you, he'd already be cursing at himself for being so blind to it earlier.

It started off as moments where his irritation calmed then snowballed into a bliss he only knows if he's by your side.

You'd think he genuinely hates your guts at times. The way he gets so angry and harshly insults you can take a toll. If he senses he's cut you deep, he still won't apologize verbally.

Knowing himself, saying anything would only hurt you more, he's too rough with phrasing that it wouldn't sound genuine. How is it his fault that you're so fragile?

Sekido has too much pride, but a lot of it is in constant conflict with his love for you. It's what gets him so frustrated when thinking about it. You make him feel disgustingly mushy inside, and he wants to tear out his heart and tell it to get a grip.

He probably doesn't speak to you for a few days, instead choosing to act while you're not looking to regain favor. 

Making food you'd like, inviting you to spend time indoors, buying you small gifts, and even cleaning up around your place. Wordless actions that come off as apologies for his temper that he’ll make SURE won't go unnoticed.

If you confront him, he huffs with his back towards you as if it were nothing but takes credit for it regardless.

Sure, he's the oldest, but Sekido still has his moments of immaturity like the other three. If he had it his way, he'd refuse to let anyone speak to you, almost isolating you, so his acts of service really shine through.

What if someone tries getting your favor by taking advantage of his supposed mistakes? It's extremely insulting that anyone would even dare try! Infuriating even!

The only people he'd allow you to speak with are his clones and main body. But like everything, it depends on his mood or the situation.

Is it REALLY necessary to talk to someone else when Sekido is RIGHT THERE?? No. It's not. Now shut up and eat the sweets he got you.

Sekido doesn't do PDA, but violence will always be on the table, never hesitating if someone gets near you, or looks at you too long.

He says he's the best clone to take when going out, but he’s punched too many bystanders as a warning far too many times... You're lucky if he simply verbally abuses someone until they're crying or humiliated.

You can say the handsome man with the red eyes has grown a reputation in town.

You also gain a reputation as someone who’s EXTREMELY off limits, dangerous even. While Sekido isn't as affectionate or sweet as the others, the things he lets slide when it comes to you make it obvious that you're his favorite person.

“Are you trying to die? Even insects have more survival instincts than you.” and all you did was bump into him. Sekido dusts himself off and gives you a once over, subtly making sure you're okay before he continues with whatever he was doing.

Were it anyone else, he would’ve swung his staff at them for even getting near him.

You're given special treatment because, to Sekido, you ARE special. On rare occasions, he'll even verbalize his fondness for you, even if it's worded as if he were reprimanding.

Just don't be so blind to the hints he's throwing at you and he won't have to beat your face in.. specifically your lips with his lips, very roughly, until you're both bruised and breathless.

When Sekido needs to be away from you for whatever reason, he knows you're okay. He entrusts you to the others in his absence, but his mind starts wandering to how he misses your hands on his.. 

It's different remembering it and seeing it, if you were there, you could touch him and he could reciprocate. It'd be even better if you were both alone—and now, someone’s interrupting his thoughts.

Frustration bubbles up and he's ready to snap at someone. What could be so damn important!?

If Sekido comes back with blood on his person, just don't ask, he's already annoyed and he's seeking solace with you.

You flip a switch in him. Your warmth, your presence, your voice, it’s like serenity to his vexed soul. He sits comfortably beside you when he has to plan for something.

It helps him think clearly but, he doesn't let go of your wrist..

His grip is unnaturally tight too, so you're stuck there unless you want to risk Sekido getting frustrated again because his personified peace wants to get up and do something, at least, that's what he says.

Even if it holds some truth, when you whittle Sekido down enough, he confesses that, in a weird way, he's constantly worried for you.

You're not as strong as them and he knows this, but it's clear as day when he's calm enough.

Not that he needs to, but Sekido takes the responsibility for not only keeping himself alive, but Hantengu and more importantly you. 

If anything were to happen to you, he doesn't know what he'd do. So instead he acts as the most aggressive guard dog ever and keeps any unknown presence as far from you as possible.

Moments of peace with you don't happen often for him, so please stay a while longer? The others will barge in any minute now, so indulge him a little until then?

And don't speak a word about it to anybody or else he’ll destroy your home and everything inside it!

Karaku

Extremely self aware, obsessive type. He knows how to properly court someone, that everything they're doing crosses many lines, but this way is much more entertaining.

You were just another random face in the beginning that he just shrugs and tries to find enjoyment in by tormenting, but as he interacts more with you, he finds it more invigorating than anything else.

He starts going easier on you, opting for just teasing. Dragging you into spending time with him is surprisingly more fun than a battle lately..

Whether you like him back or not isn't even important. As long as you have SOME level of affection for him and don't forget to give him some attention, he's satisfied.

Everything is fun when it comes to you and while he'd IDEALLY like you to reciprocate his feelings and be obsessed with him, he just needs an inch for the mile he'll take!

It's not like he will actively make you hate him, but he'll definitely try coaxing you into things you might not be eager for.

I doubt there's much that can upset him in general, much less if it's you. You're so attractive and entertaining to him, all your reprimands and insults go in one ear and out the other.

He laughs and agrees to whatever you said, brushing it off, then tries nudging you into moving on and doing something that doesn't upset you! Like doing him!

O-or.. if you're not in the mood right now, that's fine. There's a bunch of other fun stuff that you two can do!

With all that, Karaku's still aware that you'd be uncomfortable with him shoving all his affection onto you, getting possessive, and even beating some people up for the hell of it.

But he also knows people can learn to get used to things they can't escape and get desensitized, so he attempts to do just that and ease you into your new life!

He's still affectionate, it's Karaku! He doesn't force you into anything too intimate. Physical touch may be his go-to, but holding you and hugging you is the most he'd do unless he gets hints that he may be allowed to do more.

Out of everyone, he's the most relaxed, which isn't saying much. If you say you're going somewhere he hears we’re going somewhere, but at least you can go near strangers without him hurting anyone.

When spending time with the others, he knows he can just butt in, or do something that'll force your attention on him. Even if people try talking to you, he's not upset, just amused.

Very confident Karaku is.. any attempt someone tries with you is hilarious to him since he knows you're likely to reject them. He only gets slightly miffed if YOU'RE the one coming onto others.

“Oi~ You're really greedy, you have all of me and yet you still want other's attention? ..How about you try convincing me a little and I won't make that much of a fuss, yeah?” as if he's not always trying to hold you in the most PDA way possible… 

Karaku loves to show off how he's taken even if it makes you embarrassed. You're cute when flustered anyway so that's just another plus!

When you're gone he's sooo~ bored. It reminds him of that itch he had before he met you where life was too dull and he needed that stimulation only chaos could provide.

Unfortunately, chaos is like a storm, and the clouds dissipate eventually. So what does he do? Create his own storms, of course!

Karaku is a renowned pleasure seeker, sexual or not. Since he met you, the sexual part is reserved, so he's usually seeking fun in terms of mischief, adrenaline rushes, or destruction. 

Starting problems on purpose by provoking others to the point of a fight is his favorite especially if he can blow down buildings.

Some dishonorable mentions that aren't fighting are planting gross items into bags, spreading rumors, giving false information, and turning people against one another.

Overall things that would make you regret letting him out of your sight.

Karaku likes to make himself more appealing to you by boasting about small things. It could be the bare minimum, but you wouldn't know if he's exaggerating any tiny details!

Hearing your tastes and interests will have him leaning into that, but he's not going to change himself completely.

He's confident he can worm his way into your heart by being himself.

You should give him praise sometime! He didn't tease Sekido and make him so upset he blew a fuse. And! He didn't toy with anyone’s life before killing them this time! He also only used his uchiwa twice. max. and no buildings collapsed completely..

See? He's not that bad of a guy! You should trust him more, you'll hurt his feelings..!

He's the one who will also flirt with you the most, leaving lingering touches and casually inviting you for some bedroom fun. You could be in the middle of dinner and he'd ask if you're up for it later as if it's a casual thing between you two.

This guy.. he really REALLY likes you touching him.. from his hair to his arms, to his chest, and down his legs, whatever you want is yours. But it also makes him more reserved in a way? 

Someone tapping his shoulder gets him a little miffed. It's like someone is touching something of yours. Whatever, getting your hands all over him should fix that right up.

Karaku is an interesting case.. He portrays himself as an open book, but there's so much more than he lets on.

He makes mental notes of things you like and strictly hate, secretly helps balance everyone’s jealousy so you don't get burnt out, always there when you need him most, and is second to tend to you if Aizetsu isn't around.

Serious situations aren't his style, he’ll always try to be playful to lighten the mood, but you can see his ear twitch when he notices something’s wrong.

He's the second oldest after all, so he has the capability to be mature if he wants to.

But being a stick in the mud is Sekido’s job, so he works around it in his own pleasurable way!

There’s times even when he likes to take things slow and enjoy the moment with you around. Pleasure can be relaxation. While he loves being out and about, a nice quiet evening with you can be fun too.. even if he has to push you around a little too make it happen.

He likes how you make him feel whole, like he's not chasing after the unattainable satisfaction that's so close but so far.

Urogi

Intoxicated delusional type... Urogi believes you wouldn't do anything to hurt him on purpose and finds joy in your “shyness.” If you were to reject him or push him away, he laughs very loudly, “reassuring” you.

First impressions were pretty tense. He'd eye you like he's waiting for you to step wrong before feasting. Like those fangs suggest, he's a humanity's predator first and foremost and he wanted to keep it that way.

At least, he thought so until he played with his food too much and got attached. 

You later begin to be like a drug to him. He NEEDS you. Whether it be within earshot, field of vision, or (preferably) within arm's reach. If not, he gets super fidgety, nervous, restless. Can't sit still.

Similar to Hantengu except he begins getting impulsive and violent with anything or anyone around the longer you're away.

Usually, he thinks twice about slicing anything with his talons when you're around, he's too happy with your attention and knows you're pretty squishy! But if you're gone, the blood splatters make him feel better!

He misses you! Come back!! There are scratches and tossed furniture everywhere because Urogi attempted to calm himself with things that smell like you. Everything's just a mess, but he at least greets you the second you get home.

Cuddly and excitable! He'd tackle you in a hug and swing you around, or cling to you with his full body until you both tip over. Urogi likes your scent and warmth.

It's comforting, so he's constantly near you and touching you, sometimes fighting with the others cause he wants his turn.

Similar to Sekido, you're like a switch that flips to excited when you make contact of any kind, so it's not uncommon to find him clamoring to sit on your lap or lay his head somewhere on you when he sees you.

Again, like Sekido, Urogi can get jealous to the same levels as him. However, whereas Sekido would be violent and aggressive, Urogi is whiny and clingy. 

It's almost funny how he’s the one whose mood shifts the quickest. Even compared to Aizetsu, he's more likely to cry, or compared to Sekido, he'd lash out about something small.

But as his main emotion states, he'll always revert back to his gleeful self.

One second, he's complaining because you've been “ignoring” him for too long [three minutes] but cheers up if you so much as graze his skin, “Hahaha!! Okay, I forgive you!! Can we go out now? Oh! Oh! How about a kiss?!”

Joy may be better than when Urogi's upset, but it's still... pretty shameless like Karaku, except Urogi doesn't WANT to embarrass you on purpose.

He's got a loud voice and a one-track mind with you. Begging and asking isn't out of the realm of possibility for him either.

Something you can count on with these four is that they're honest in their feelings for you.

Urogi, being the one who's extremely raw in showing it, talks from the heart with no brain. What you see is what you get. Most of the time...

Urogi, like the others, has his moments of dishonesty, but it’s not his fault! He wants your love constantly so bends the truth about needing you in some type of way or that he was bullied!!!

He has a headache, take care of him! Oh, his left wing hurts, pet it for him, please? His feathers have been really bothering him lately, preen him? Yes, you did so yesterday, but they're bothering him again!! Also, Sekido was really mean for no reason again, stay with him so he doesn't get yelled at again!!

With how much he thrives under your attention, you'd wonder how he reacts with people who aren't you. Well, it's simple, if its not a fight, he leads back to you!

If someone ever talks to Urogi long enough there's a 90% chance he'll mention “someone” and ignore whatever they say.

When you're not the subject of the convo, he brings you up, interrupting the other's train of thought. Annoyingly so.. 

It gets particularly messy if he's conversing with the other three because then they'd forget about the original topic and get swept up with missing you instead.

Even the hobbies he has that aren't you, remind him of you.. in albeit concerning ways..

He likes to eat fleshy meat, but he gets reminded of how your skin feels under his hands. It'd be more flattering if he wasn't literally ripping the flesh off of something with his fangs, but he means well.

Sharing things he likes is a sign of love, right? That's why he brings you gifts! ..Like a cat bringing its owner dead mice except this cat is five foot nine and way more dangerous..

and the dead mice are limbs that can get you arrested............

It's terrifying to wake up to a mysterious blob of red meat, especially when Urogi says “It's the only thing that kinda resembles what it used to be!” but laughs in your face instead of explaining further.

A tongue was probably the most concerning thing that still had its original shape, but not surprising.

Urogi is unfortunately way too damn strong. He's the second one to accidentally hurt you after Sekido, his talons are extremely sharp and sometimes dig into you when he gets too excited. He tries not to, but even passing by he can nick you. 

Bandages are difficult for him to grab with his talons, and he feels terrible afterward, so he licks your wounds clean if you let him. Sure, it won't do much, but at least your blood smells delicious, and it makes him happy tasting it! 

Right, this isn't about him, right! 

There's something almost innocent about how Urogi acts with you. Even if you hate his guts, he’d still treat you like treasure. He can't bring himself to hate you no matter what you do.

He’ll get annoyed at times when you're too “coy,” sure, but never more than that or for long. 

He can be a handful, but you can tell he tries to give you a good happy relationship. One that he hopes makes you feel the same unending joy he feels even if it's a bit traumatic.

Aizetsu

Manipulative and stalking type. Aizetsu wants to get tasks over with as fast as possible. he doesn't have any motivation for it. He's tired and sad and wants to curl up into a ball and lay down.

First time meeting, Aizetsu didn't even spare you a glance. If you weren't food or a threat, then you might as well have been a poor wall or weird tree.

Giving him a taste of pampering is probably what slowly melted his cold walls.

Now that he has you, it's strange. He WANTS to get up and do things with you. The weight on his shoulders isn't as heavy when you're around. He wants to keep you near him always and if he has to be pathetic to do that, then he'll do it.

Sending cute sad glances your way, sighing after each word as if its tiring to breathe, constantly leaning or holding onto your clothes, whatever makes him look like he'd die without you is what he'll do. 

Aizetsu is more than capable like the other three if not the most. it's just that he doesn't need to do it, so he doesn't want to.

He purposely makes himself out like he's the “good” one, but he's just quieter. Unlike Karaku's boasting, Aizetsu wants you to see the worst in others so it makes himself look better by comparison.

Making others or himself seem pathetic is his strong suit, sometimes making his counterparts the brunt of that pity.

That or he takes a page out of Karaku's handbook and stirs the pot so they do the job for him. Sometimes they involve Aizetsu if they find out which makes him sad...

He pouts, looking at his counterparts fighting, and tells you how it's such a pity you're stuck with a rowdy bunch like them while knowing full well that he muttered something under his breath about Karaku mocking Sekido to make Urogi laugh while passing by.

It didn't happen, but it could've... it's okay, just stay with Aizetsu on the sidelines while they tucker themselves out.

Speaking of that, Aizetsu seldom lets you go. Like the others, he loves touching you, but the others let go eventually from some form of hyperactivity.

Aizetsu.. doesn't. His hand is always firmly grasping some part of your clothes while you walk, but if you're not using your arm, he'll hold that for you too.

You can try shaking him off, but it really wouldn't do anything except make him frown and grip tighter. You could ditch your clothes, it'll stun him for a moment until he's pouting again, but he’ll let you go.

Unfortunately you probably won't get your discarded clothes back for a while even if you apologize.

That and he’ll cling on again in five minutes if he's near. It's a force of habit.

Aizetsu's the strongest physically of the four, but tries his best to seem weak around you so you can spoil and love him more.

The second you leave him to figure out his own issues, you usually hear a loud thump then crack followed by Aizetsu's soft footsteps rushing to follow behind you.

Even with his crazy strength, he's the second least likely to spill blood.

Not because he's guilty or anything, don't be silly, but because he doesn't want to put effort into cleaning himself up, so you'll embrace him again. If you didn't care, then he'd be a bit messier.

Then again, he doesn't like how the dried blood feels in his hair, and he doubts he can get away with making you wash it for him every time.

Aizetsu is constantly upset, but he's not openly emotional aside from his usual declarations of sorrow. He doesn't cry easily, being in a constant state of sadness makes everything numb at some point, so it's something he expresses privately..

or, to persuade you into feeling bad for him further.

“Pitying others is only natural, but don't forget you have someone waiting for you always. I'd wither away without you.” He says that, but the others never see him waiting for anything when you're out.. Why? Because he never leaves you.

Sometimes you think you see a blue reflection from the corner of your eyes, but you check and nothing. Feeling like you're watched has been a constant lately since meeting the clones. Hopefully, it's just nerves.

But it's not!

Behind wall corners, in the shadows, amongst crowds, in closets, Aizetsu's always there. Watching with that same sorrowful pout. As mentioned earlier, he doesn't feel demotivated when doing things for you.

He's making sure you're safe and gathering more information. He wants to be precise when around you. How are you when you think they're not around? He'll find out. He always does.

Not that you notice much... He doesn't throw tantrums when you need to part from him like the others, only simple, “Really? Where are you going..?” and that's all for protesting. He's the “good one,” remember? He won't stop you.

Aizetsu gets a little sloppy with hiding his hobby(?) when he doesn't react to the new things and stories you intended to tell him. As if listening to a story again.

He's lucky he doesn't speak much or he would've filled in the details of the story you forgot about.

The downside of following you is that Aizetsu gets approached sometimes. Annoying... He's so gloomy, that he's sometimes approached by kind bystanders to check up on him. 

He doesn't speak to anyone as much anymore, only responding with nods and head shakes unless he's pitying someone. He's only “chatty” with you and his clones, more so you.

A tired look crosses his face when someone's being particularly bothersome. Say, the authorities or an insistent stranger for example. 

If you were with him, he'd look at you to fix it, but since you're not, he'll handle it himself. i.e. a precise swift jab to the throat that'll get them to keel over long enough for him to scamper somewhere else.

Zohakuten

Conflicting love hating attention seeker.. He can't help but hate how your mere presence makes the others and himself worse versions of themselves, but he can see why. Having your attention is like basking in the warmth of the sun again.. 

He rarely shows up, only when the four are panicked and desperate, but the first time is probably extremely tense........ he'd reprimand you for screwing up the minds of his clones and scaring the main body constantly.

He doesn't separate, wanting to see what the big deal is. Having Zohakuten follow you around or dragging you places while getting insulted, you're mostly babysitting him at this point.

He may not be a child in the usual sense, but he definitely uses his appearance to benefit himself. Big eyes, grumpy frown with his chubby cheeks and that usually gets people to believe him if he's lucky.

It's whiplash inducing when Zohakuten's face and way of speaking don't match (it's easy to forget that all these freaks have the mentality of an over two hundred year old man.) He uses an older way of speaking and their inflections.

He's not free from the common ground that is wanting your attention even if he's almost always complaining that you're the source of their corruption. yet he still doesn't try getting rid of you aside from a couple insults. Though it can get annoying when he's constantly on your case.

Zohakuten is extremely defensive of the main body. Hesitating when it comes to him isn't a problem. He's like Sekido where he punches as a warning in that sense.

He's very kind with Hantengu, and surprisingly you who now falls under the category of needing protection.

Hatred is part of his nature so if you're alone with him, that hatred focuses on you, but it's mixed with affection. He only really huffs at you and occasionally tries swatting you when you get too affectionate.

He's critical of his older clone counterparts. 

If there were a setting where Zohakuten coexisted with his them , he'd be very antagonistic even if it's to a lesser degree than opponents. He's going against them then complaining to you about it so you can be careful of their misdeeds!

He sees their actions as the main reason Hantengu gets bullied and falsely persecuted. they fool around too much instead of doing their job properly that it grinds Zohakuten's gears..

He'd probably call Karaku and Urogi manwhores for showing off so much skin. Sekido and Aizetsu are on thin ice but they'd still get called harlots for wearing their collars so open.

You're probably not free from his berating either but he excludes the derogatory insults.

Similar to Tanjiro in that one scene with Mitsuri, Zohakuten would grab your clothes and adjust it to be more modest. He can't have animals like those pigs looking at you!!!

That being said, Zohakuten is much more manageable compared to dealing with four smothering men.

Still.. he's less likely to listen to you and has a short fuse that can cause problems out of nothing. Plus, he's much MUCH stronger than what you'd be used to.

Luckily, there's moments when he tuckers himself out and he's quietly following you like a cat. He doesn't speak much then but glares at anything and anyone who gets too close.

He might look pettable, but don't do it or he might both claw at you and get a second wind.

It's best to stay alone with Zohakuten for as long as he's around. If someone else makes him or Hantengu upset, he'd focus his hatred into them and make up some deluded reason as to why they have to die.

They'll harm Hantengu first if they're allowed to live!! It'll be swift, but he can't promise it'll be clean.

It's pretty easy to get Zohakuten to get violent. it only really takes someone getting close to you or Hantengu until he's acting faster than you noticed he moved.

He doesn't really care if you get scared, it's all for the greater good. you're just spooked because his methods were taboo, but it's fine. Now all of you are safe..

He really likes trees and forests, so taking walks around there might be the safest bet.

Zohakuten wouldn't be as cuddly, more so because of some pride of holding himself up as the strongest pillar for Hantengu, but there are moments where he sighs and leans his head against you.

Being alone with you, Hantengu, and the peace of nature puts his mind at ease in a way it's not built for. Even his wood dragons come along, bellowing quietly and making the whole environment uncommonly calm. like he's almost a normal kid.

Serenity isn't forever of course and you must part from him eventually. It's not like he'll make it easy by any means though. His brattiness shines through here where he hides some essentials of yours that make it impossible for you to leave.

Your shoes, outdoor clothes, utilities, anything that'll make your life more difficult so you'll stay home. Yes, he knows you have a life outside, but he doesn't like it when you come home smelling different. It's concerning!

If you somehow manage to escape, you'll only see his hateful eyes from his safe spot in the darkness. Throughout the day, the occasional concern chill creeps up, and coming home reveals why.

It's a disaster. Everything is trashed and turned over in what looks to be a tornado hit. Except the tornado was just a small tyrant sulking in your bedroom. The tantrum didn't comfort him at all and all he wants is you.

When you come back, he's berating you and calling you the worst person imaginable! He grabs your arms tightly then nearly crushes your ribs in a hug.

He doesn't apologize, but helps clean up after he's done, wanting to spend time with you. It wasn't the same without you and he loathes how the difference is so tangible now.

It's unfair how he's tasked to protect you too, but now that he's met you, there's specific conditions that need to be met to be allowed to see you again. He's not here for long and people around you get to meet you whenever they'd like. it's really not fair!

Maybe after a while, Zohakuten would learn not to act first if you PROMISED to keep your interactions with others to a minimum.

Even If you don't, he'll remind you by cutting your conversation or starting an argument that'll quickly get lethal if not stopped in time.

The way this guy swears like a sailor is incredible. Very foul mouthed. He talks bad about people, even sometimes to their face. It's also painfully accurate. Zohakuten can really cut deep with his words alone.. even be problematic

so fingers crossed he doesn't slight the wrong person.

While he doesn't really need to, he tries getting you small trinkets to keep so he's with you when he's separated.

All stolen of course, or so the woman from the market says, but it's not true! he made it himself, what kind of person would spread lies like that?!

Note: Zohakuten is a platonic yandere. Like the boyfriend's bratty younger brother who likes you so he cock blocks everyone to hang out with you trope

You can try asking for help, but people have seen what they're like without you.. they're like a blender without a cap. The contents will go everywhere, and it'll be chaos. UNLESS, the blender has its cap, you.

With a heavy heart, people usually give you sympathetic glances if you ever do interact briefly and quick words of comfort if they can. at least you're well taken care of by those freaks.

i love them all theyre awful.....

Tl;Dr

Hantengu is delusional and obsessed, where he thinks you'll harm him if he gets too close, but can't stay away from you for long or else he freaks himself out Sekido is the jealous possessive mother fucker who's very rude but surprisingly gives you extremely special treatment. Karaku is the obsessed self aware one, but that's wasted because he loves causing problems on purpose and embarrassing you with love. Urogi is the Intoxicated delusional one because you gotta be delusional to be as happy as this guy.. also animalistic. Too raw about his feelings........ Aizetsu is the manipulative stalker. He acts like he's the good boy when he's just as shit as the others who also somehow knows everything about you. Zohakuten is the love-hate attention seeker. it infuriates him how you "wont leave his main body alone," but he secretly thrives on your attention and will cock block at every point and time.

[sturnioz]

─── ⵌ some goofy and funny moments between shy!reader and fratboy!chris. authors note. keeping you readers happy <3 you are welcome (also im using her nickname 'bun' in this as its a lil easier for me to explain things but she'll always be shy!reader ok ? ok.)

★ bun once wanted to see chris' cock when soft just cos she was super curious, and chris surprisingly let her (he was faded out of his mind so he didn't give a fuck) but when she murmured how much it looks like some sort of naked mole rat, chris got offended and almost threw her across the room.

☆ chris speaks with expressions most of the time. so there was a moment during a frat party where a student wanted drugs but didn't have the money to buy, so he was drunkenly hyping up chris and slurring his words making a fool out of himself and chris slowly turned his head to bun with the most diabolical look on his face and bun ended up giggling abt it the entire night.

★ bun once got super drunk at a frat party and fake fought chris in his room for whatever fucking reason and chris got annoyed and she cried when he put her in a headlock.

☆ bun sometimes sleep talks and one night, she said that someone was standing in the corner of the room and chris was ready to fight the invisible intruder (he almost shit his pants but he would never admit that out loud)

★ chris once got forced to bake with bun for an event the frat house had to hold (he had to do something he couldn't sit around and do nothing which he hated) and he got so frustrated with bun and her instructions that he accidentally squeezed the icing tube so hard that it exploded all over him.

☆ bun can get a little distracted when she sees something she likes and during an outing with a few other people, she saw a stray cat that she wanted to pet but chris grabbed the back of her shirt and hauled her back to the group before they could leave without her.

★ bun is obsessed with sonny angels and chris stared one down for abt five minutes cos he finds them creepy. (also threatens to throw them out the window if she doesn't stop leaving them around his bedroom).

☆ chris once peed on bun's leg in the shower (on accident, he claims. he was 'trying' to aim for the drain) and he almost had whiplash from how fast bun tried to punch him. like ? it came out of no where ?

© STURNIOZ

[astonmartinii]

bite the hand | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem musician!reader [face claim: clairo + clairo, boygenius and taylor swift music]

having fans are great, but sometimes it goes to far and you have to bite the hands that feed you

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 913,551 others

tagged: beabadoobee

yourusername: howdy ladies, gentlemen and all that's in between, it's single release day. i had so much fun on this track with bea and getting to pour all of my love for maxy onto such a cute melody... hope you all enjoy my loves x

view all comments

user1: YES THANK YOU MOM THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY

landonorris: how many letters in devoured?

yourusername: ATE 💅

landonorris: ate and left NO crumbs

maxverstappen1: why oh why did i ever introduce you two

yourusername: because you love us both?

maxverstappen1: i sure love you, jury is out on lando

landonorris: boooooooooo

user2: ugh if y/n had to date an f1 driver why couldn't she go for one of the hot ones like lando or charles?

user3: for real like bro he just drags her down

user4: you can't be serious? he's a professional athlete at the top of his sport and by what they show us a massive softy who loves y/n? why would we want anything else for her?

liked by yourusername

user5: y/n will NOT stand for any max bashing idk why you guys try it every time

maxverstappen1: so unbelievably talented and the artist of her generation

yourusername: maybe it's because i have a top notch muse ?

maxverstappen1: NO NO IT'S ALL YOU YOU ARE THE ARTIST I AM JUST LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR VICINITY

yourusername: i am the lucky one baby

danielricciardo: leave your cute shit offline i already have to hear it all of the time let me be on instagram

yourusername: nope love my boyfriend too much

maxverstappen1: nope love my girlfriend too much

user6: they're so insufferable i love them

user7: this song bangs so much more when you pretend it's not about ... him

user8: bro is acting like max verstappen ran over his puppy

user7: sorry i don't want a GREAT artist and BEAUTIFUL woman being dragged down by THAT

user9: you are insane, you do not know y/n, you enjoy her music, that doesn't give you the right to have power over things in her personal life

user10: you people are why this fanbase has a bad name and before long y/n will get fed up too

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 829,043 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: the off weekend spent right

view all comments

user13: i need a man so obsessed with me that all he does is post my face

user14: crazy that all this guy does is wax lyrical about how much he loves her and she's like never at his races ... interesting

user15: and her weirdly entitled fanbase say he doesn't deserve her when she clearly doesn't support him as much as he supports her

yourusername: i love you and our soft little weekends, i wanna do it all the time :(

maxverstappen1: gosh our day jobs are really quite unconventional i guess we should just retire to a remote island to live on a small farm?

yourusername: you said it not me i just wanna be anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i love you <3

user16: RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND? SOMEONE TELL THIS RAT THAT IF HE IS THE REASON WE DON'T GET MUSIC WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

user17: babe have you ever thought that maybe the reason he said that he wants to retire away from everyone because you people stick your noses in all the time

danielricciardo: @yourusername a soft weekend you say? how many hours did max spend on the sim?

yourusername: a solid ten but he even let me have a go

danielricciardo: oh wow that man really is in love

maxverstappen1: i think she'd rival a couple of you with some practice, i'm working on getting her to join redline

user18: ugh this is so annoying... preaching like you like spending time with your girlfriend and then spend it all playing a video game and letting her have one go?

user19: the sim is something f1 drivers use to train? if anything max probably shouldn't have let y/n have a go she could've accidentally changed the set up or other things

user20: i'm seeing charles and lewis training this off weekend and he just lies in bed with this girl? he really needs to ditch her to stay at the top

user21: literally two comments up is them talking about him training on the sim the jealousy is insane from both fans at this point

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 893,442 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy to take home another win in mexico, i love this track and am forever thankful to this team and my loved ones.

view all comments

user25: holy shit idk what f1 can do but the paddock looked insane today there's no way that is safe for the drivers and personnel.

user26: there's so many videos of people rushing max and although some of them look like max fans who are just excited but there were a lot of very rude rival fans trying to get too close for comfort

yourusername: forever proud of you !! you're like jimmy and sassy with zoomies on crack <3

maxverstappen1: that is the highest of the high compliment thank you my love

yourusername: champagne is on me girlypops no expense spared for the love of my life

redbullracing: do we all qualify as girlypops ???

yourusername: of course !! don't think i didn't notice the supply of vegan pizza rolls you truly are the lactose intolerant allies of the grid

user27: can she stop spending all her hard earned money on this scrub that just uses her

user28: bro makes millions in a year he doesn't NEED her but that doesn't mean he can't want her? you guys are crazy

user29: some of these fans need to do some serious evaluation, drivers are not zoo animals, they are people and deserve respect and that includes respect to their personal space.

user30: for real like why was brad basically having to act as a body guard for max and y/n

user31: this was such a dangerous event for max and y/n. they're both very famous individuals and should be able to move around the paddock without being in danger.

user32: max joked about getting a body guard for this weekend but i think he should seriously consider it especially is y/n is coming to more races while she's not touring

danielricciardo: it has been brought to my attention that y/n has stated that she will spare no expense, i am making a formal enquiry into whether this will cover my bar tab?

yourusername: i will within reason but only because your bffs with maxy and will drink the fruity lil cocktails with me

danielricciardo: REAL men drink cocktails

maxverstappen1: do NOT disrespect the humble gin and tonic on my post

user33: i'm glad they're in high spirits after the shenanigans in the paddock today and the booing towards max :(

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and 1,442,776 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: there is no full way to articulate my feelings right now. my fans have to respect my personal relationships and my boundaries. i appreciate your support but you have to understand that i am not your personal friend and you do not have the right to my personal life. i also understand that in sport, there are a lot of heightened emotions, but drivers do not owe you their safety. this is something i have felt for a long time since max and i became a public couple and the onslaught of hate came for him. you may say that it comes from a good place, or for my best interests, but the manner in which some 'fans' have expressed their 'worries' is unacceptable. i do not want to bite the hand that feeds me, but there's only so many slaps me and my loved ones can take from the hand.

bite the hand is out on all streaming platforms. please listen closely a re-evaluate your relationships with your favourite artists, thank you.

comments are not available on this post.

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,220,664 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you and i will never let other people tell me when i'm not enough get in my head again. we both appreciate our support and acknowledge that we would be nowhere without it. but our relationships are ours, please respect this.

comments are not available on this post

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,229 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: okay sad songs are important but it's now time for me to sing my wee little heart out about how much i love you and how i know we were always made for each other.

i love you maxy, invisible string is all about my muse. out now.

view all comments

user41: IT BANGS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user42: ffs i guess we're stuck with this man for life now ...

user43: LISTEN TO BITE THE HAND AND BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND HEAR THE PINBALLS OF YOUR BRAIN GOING CRAZU

user44: speak your truth sis

maxverstappen1: ISN'T IT JUST SO PRETTY TO THINK THAT ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOME INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO ME

maxverstappen1: so true, you make me believe in soulmates YOU ARE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you to the moon and to saturn for real

yourusername: and that thread of gold is made from all of your trophies LET'S GO RAHHHHHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

maxverstappen1: the gold of that grammy @thegrammys yall heard bags?

user45: the way they're each others wags and completely embrace it

user46: i love that they're still their goofy asses they don't give a shit abou t yall

user47: y/n dropped a heart wrenching track and immediately went ... but hey i'm SUPER happy and that's all you're going to hear

landonorris: so like can y/n remix the dutch anthem so we can actually bop every weekend

yourusername: i kinda wanna marry the king of the netherlands so maybe not

landonorris: you broke up ?????

yourusername: no you dumbass max is the king of the netherlands

maxverstappen1: not factually but i do have a medal from the royal family so same thing

landonorris: why do you guys have to clown on me every time

yourusername: you're like our baby brother it's our duty

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

user48: you could never make me hate them they're made for each other

user49: finally bite the hand shamed the crazy bitches into finally shutting the fuck up

note: i love bite the hand i actually fear it might be my fave boygenius song and i recommend it to everyone. i actually did my university dissertation on parasocial relationships with athletes so like i feel like a good couple of sports fans could do with a listen to bite the hand. hope yall enjoyed and had a good weekend !! (chelsea gave me a heart attack but what's new, even though i was too sick to go to the game:()

[ebony-blood]

Poly!The Lost Boys x Reader 

Warnings/AN: They’re a packaged deal, ofc you’re getting all four. Yandere/obsessive stuff because they’re just like that. I tried to be as gender-neutral as possible, lemme know if I need to fix anything.

You have been in Santa Carla for about a year now, you wanna know how long it took for the boys to fall for you? 2 months

Paul fell first, bro spent a whole 2 hours daily rambling to Marko about how much he loved you, how perfect you were in his eyes, how cute you were…

Gender doesn’t matter to these rat bastards, you’re still Paul’s Cutie

Marko fell next, listening to Paul rant about your utter perfection, thus, he started believing you were an angel, literally an angel.

And that’s when the two boys started stalking you, following you around the boardwalk and practically growling at anyone that approached, male, female, whatever

Paul practically has heart eyes every time he sees you, every single time.

Dwayne is next, and he falls WAY harder than the other two

Mr. Tall, dark and handsome over here will follow you home daily, he waits for nightfall and comes out to see you, when he’s not with his brothers, he’s around you.

He may as well be lying on a bed, writing in a notebook about how much he loves you, giggling and kicking his feet like a schoolgirl

So, the three that AREN’T David fall in love with you in two months, David followed shortly behind, and only a month after Dwayne fell, David was fucking INFATUATED.

He has it BAD, like, god, it’s even worse than his brothers.

Eventually, all four of the boys decide they wanna talk to you, and goddammit the minute you open your mouth they’re even more in love with you. 

And so, they start leaving you anonymous gifts, roses, jewelry, Marko paints for you, anything they can think of, they’ll steal it and leave it on your porch. 

It took a few months, but when you realized they were giving you the gifts, you started hanging out with them more, and soon, you were taken to the cave.

They loved you, obviously.

It took almost no time for you to fall for their silly personalities, and that was when they knew they had you.

They became protective, but not outwardly obsessive.

At least, you thought so. 

After they started dating you, they started getting worse in their stalking.

They had a system, every other week, sometimes months between instances, one of them would silently stalk you, keeping hidden in the dark, and one or two of them would pretend to bump into you when you start freaking out.

You were always too freaked out to ask how they were there.

You found out they were vampires when you caught them killing and feeding on a guy who had been actually stalking you. You were freaked out at first.

Eventually, David managed to calm you, promising they would never hurt or kill you.

Now that we’re past all the meetings, falling, stalking, and so on, here’s the actual cute stuff. 

Paul and Marko

These rat fucks are literally never not by your side. 

They bite you, randomly grab you, kiss you, just whenever they want, it doesn’t matter. 

Both boys steal things from you, all the time

Clothes, blankets, stuffed animals, books, your perfume/cologne/body spray, makeup if you wear it, whatever they can get their hands on, it’s with them.

You slowly start noticing them wearing your clothes, your perfume/cologne/body spray, and you ask about it. They always deny having it.

If you wear it, they put on your lipstick or lipgloss before they kiss you, because they think it's funny. 

Paul started trying to get you to smoke with him. 

Marko paints you like constantly, and anytime he catches you watching or looking at him, he has the most lovestruck and goofy look on his face.

Both fantasize about you 24/7 and just bounce stuff off of each other. 

They definitely bite you the most

65% of the bitemarks on you are from them, and 35% are from the other two boys.

Cuddle you the most.

Tease you the most

Teasing nips are greetings to them

Both have very little consistency in pet names for you, they just pick whatever.

Dwayne

The sweetest, and the biggest stalker ever.

Bro follows you around constantly. 

He doesn’t allow you to ride on the back of Paul and Marko's bikes, it's either him or David.

Holds your hands all the time

Gives you his jacket all the time.

You get cold? Take his jacket. Getting outta the ocean after Paul tossed you in? Take his jacket.

Smiles every time he sees you. 

Also takes your perfume/cologne/body spray, sprays himself down, and snuggles into clothes you wear he stole when he wanted to snuggle with you.

Acts totally normal around you but is a giggly schoolgirl when talking about you with the boys.

Brings you food and drinks daily, if he doesn’t know if you’ve eaten, you bet your ass he’s bringing you food.

About 15% of your bites are from him. 

Constantly makes sure you care for yourself.

Not into PDA but will hold your hands daily.

Bro has a mix of songs that reminds him of you.

Calls you stuff like Darling and Honey, he just gives those vibes.

David

OHHHH DEAR GOD-

David is worse than Dwayne, Marko, and Paul combined.

Stalks you, constantly, and he always makes sure you know he’s there.

Sassy, sarcastic, an asshole, we know this, but this carries over to you too.

Bro sasses you all the time.

Dude treats you like he treated Star, bro will just stare at you, if you don’t respond or do as he’s implying, he just calls your name again, and again, until he eventually just snaps in your face, not shouting, but literally snapping.

Nips at your ears, neck, and shoulders

Teases you, all the time, constantly for no reason. Like if you trip bro is laughing and he doesn’t even help your ass up. 

He does care though, he loves you so SO much.

The dude actually takes his damn gloves off to touch you sometimes! That NEVER happens!

Isn’t into PDA, at all, his hands stay securely in your back pockets or with his fingers through your belt loops, you are not leaving his side, if he isn’t around you bet your ass you’re sticking with Dwayne.

Will randomly give you things, Bro gave you one of his old tee shirts and he gets very pouty if you don’t wear it around.

He is not a sweet boy, but also a sweet guy, if you wear down his walls and wiggle your way into his heart, you will NEVER leave.

He’s terrified of being alone, if you leave for even a second, the man almost melts down. 

Calls you stuff like Babe, Baby, and Doll, doll is used no matter your gender, he won’t stop.

One more because our first one for Davie here also brings you food but fucks with you like he did with Micheal. He does keep extras if you actually freak out about it but after a certain point in your time with the boys, you start leaning into the goofiness. 

All four of them

Only a few here.

The boys are cuddlers, if they stay with you in your house, (You have blackout curtains) they are wrapped around you, Paul and Marko are damn well laying on top of you.

Will scream at any bastard on the boardwalk that even LOOKS at you wrong.

They fight anyone at all, for any reason, for everything, at all for you.

These nerds rant about everything they love, David will scream about how much he loves Billy Idol at any time, Marko talks about art all the damn time, Paul will just rant about how fucking much he loves guitarists like Mick Mars, Ace Frehley, and Eddie Van Halen, and Dwayne talks about books. All four always have stars in their eyes when talking, it's so cute. 

The rats started rubbing off on you, you’re crazy now, you ride bikes, and you yell, and scream with all of the boys.

When they do turn you, it amplifies by 20.

Your favorite activity is hanging off the bridge with the boys and biking. 

You eventually get your own, they were hesitant, but eh.

They love biking with you, and then you all either hang from the wood beams while sleeping or snuggle up in your bed and sleep peacefully. You wearing one of their jackets of course.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Would brat wifey reader get punishment for calling konig's pecs 'tits'? She's mischievous and gropes his chest every chance she gets because she just can't resist :/ maybe snuggles up his t shirt and bites them.

Bonus if she calls them slang that old colonels don't know like honkers 😼

He is extremely conflicted. On the one hand, you're a lady, you shouldn't be calling his body names like this, it's dishonorable! God, you're so silly sometimes, he doesn't know what to do with you( He likes that you're bratty and playful, it makes him feel slightly better about himself - he isn't a perverted evil dog who is dragging some poor innocent girl away, you can answer him with your quick it and sharp tongue, but he also needs to punish you sometimes! He is embarrassed that you're even so obsessed with this part of his body - he is prideful of his muscles, he spends hours in the gym to sculpt his figure as the murder machine he is, but he isn't in the gym rat cult anymore, he wouldn't say no to a nice piece of pie and some good greasy food, he has a healthy layer of fat on his tummy and a bit on his hairy tits, it's only natural in his age! He thought at first you were laughing at him, with your mischievous pranks and little smiles that kinda make him insecure, so he asked you time and time again what you really mean by calling his chest that( When he is googling all of those slang words for tits though...yeah, you're in for a good, long spanking. You brought this upon yourself, you shouldn't mess with your older man of a colonel!

[animeyanderelover]

Can you rank who would be able to handle a mad scientist sorta darling, examples are like (is a genius and invents jutsu's that are so strong and some that even the knowledge of them will have someone not be able to use their jutsu, will probably be seen sometimes with like half a forest exploded because she was doing experiment or with a lab on fire, if someone wants to kill her she'd be excited because it means she'll have people coming to her so she can use her seals and see their effectiveness, would beckon them to try new methods and she'd try to counter them with her inventions)

Or basically what I mean, who's the best when it comes to handling a hange(aot) darling, from Naruto, kakashi, itachi, Sasuke

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, paranoia

Tags: @shumidehiro @swagenemyartisan @cachamata

Ranking

Uchiha Sasuke

💙Ironically enough I genuinely believe that Sasuke would be the best at handling a darling like this but only because he has prior experience with dealing with crazy scientists like this. You have to remember that he spend a solid 3 years of his youth with Orochimaru, Kabuto and all their lab rats, prisoners and subjects. That is not to say that he is a 100% supportive as there is still a difference between his former mentor and his darling but at this rate he’s just kind of used to being surrounded by scientific insanity. He’s kind of gone through a phase as well but he’s not going to mention that to you. I actually think that he would even be invested in some of the research that you are doing and with all the time he has spend with Orochimaru and Kabuto he might even be able to give you helpful advice. There are firm lines that he draws though, all the more since you neglect your own safety severely in favor of your research. He’d constantly monitor you when you are inventing a new seal or jutsu all to prevent a potential catastrophe from happening. He’s seen what damage your experiments can cause if you aren’t forcefully stopped and he’s not going to make that mistake twice.

Uchiha Itachi

🍡Perhaps it is just sheer hypocrisy that Itachi, who has joined the Akatsuki and has sacrificed innocent people in their name, wishes for you to stop your reckless pursuit of knowledge and invention. Initially it is all only voiced subtly as Itachi tries to reason with you normally. The more time passes though and the more reckless your experiments get, drawing unwanted attention from bounty hunters, the more forceful he As the secret lover of a traitor to the Leaf Village and as a member of a highly dangerous villain group there would be already a big target on your back yet your infamous reputation only adds to the attention that you receive. It all reminds him uncomfortably much of Orochimaru, a former member of the Akatsuki with whom he used to work in the past and even he could never condone the crimes that the Sanin has committed and a tiny part of him is scared that you might one day go down the same route and sell your morales in favor of achieving your goals. Perhaps it is just a wish that he is, wanting you to be normal to balance out everything that has happened in his life yet apparently that is a wish not granted to him.

Hatake Kakashi

📖If Sasuke can tolerate it and allow you even the supervised practice and Itachi would let you continue for a bit before he decides to put his foot down then with Kakashi you just crash into the wall. Konohagakure has already a tainted reputation for letting Orochimaru get away so the moment that he catches wind of your experiments he immediately stops you before you can cause any greater damage. It doesn’t even matter that you actually don’t plan on sacrificing any human lives besides maybe your own in a reckless pursuit as paranoia dominates in the face of anything. There is a sprinkle of a logical approach in this all though as Kakashi is well aware that the council wouldn’t tolerate your doings as they would only see the second Orochimaru in you. That or Danzo might end up convincing them that under his guidance you might end up being useful and he knows exactly how that old man works and the methods that he uses. Really, Kakashi is trying to protect you from those people and yourself as you have no concept of self-preservation as he would use abduction, isolation and his Sharingan immediately.

[lrithill]

NSFW ARTphabet Headcanon: The Sacred Clown Porn Manuscript (J-Q)

Hi everyone,

Here’s the second part (just as sinful—maybe even more so than the first one).

The first part ended up reaching 100 likes and I’m super proud. It’s my first post to hit triple digits, and I can’t believe the support I’m getting and the amazing community I’ve found (the Terrifier fandom is as sweet as it is unhinged).

Some of these letters I’m planning to turn into full fanfics, so be ready.

*OMG, I was checking to make sure everything was in order, and I just realized I totally skipped the Q. It’s not even on my AO3 (how could I—may God/Art forgive this insolence). I just wrote it quickly, so this is a last-minute addition.*

In the second chapter we have: masturbation (I’ve discovered I have an obsession with Art jerking off), pillow talk, true crime documentaries, menstrual ketchup bottles, Sienna, forbidden places, bites (can’t miss those), gore, near-death experiences, mentions of rape, oral sex (way too many details), medieval torture, Inverted Scarecrow position (I love that one), and love—bizarre, but love after all.

Here’s the first part (A–I):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/780285284765089792/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

And the third part (R-Z):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/781563844942249984/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

Enjoy, my doomed and blessed soul.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Before he met you, he used to jerk off every now and then.

Not too often—but sometimes the stress had to come out somehow.

He’d lie on his back in bed and stroke himself slowly, savoring the sensation. His body would respond instantly to his own touch.

Though sometimes… he went further.

After a particularly satisfying kill—sometimes even during—he’d get rock hard. And that would lead to the quickest way to release: using the victim’s body.

Once, he took a decapitated head home and placed it in his bathroom.

"I could use some decor," he genuinely thought.

But he eventually had to throw it away… Because every damn time he took a shower, he swore it was giving him bedroom eyes. (Don’t ask.)

In the end, he discovered the ultimate technique.

Jerking off with his hand? Too boring.

Fucking bodies or parts of victims? It never really satisfied him. (Post-nut clarity hits hard.)

Then… he found The Pillow.

A long one. And oh, God— that thing was his girlfriend for a long, long time.

He’d hump it like a dog. Bite it. Hug it. Usually in missionary—very proper—he has, after all, a minimum standard of emotional pillow responsibility.

At first, he made an effort to clean it. But eventually, he thought:

"What if I tried to create a piece of modern sculptural art?"

To this day, he has no idea what happened to that pillow. Sometimes he wonders if someone found it… and if the pillow attacked them.

Because after all that time…That thing definitely came to life. And it's out there, holding a grudge.

*Testimony of the Pillow* (Graphic content ahead. Read with caution.)

“I never asked to be born.” The camera doesn’t show her face—for privacy reasons.

I just wanted to be a decent pillow—plump, discreet. Maybe live out my days decorating a modest bed or humble sofa.

But no.

I had the misfortune of ending up in his hands.

That filthy clown.

That depraved artist.

That… desperate dog with control issues and a fetish for soft things.

The first time I felt his body grinding against my satin fluff, I didn’t understand what was happening.

But by hump number five, it was clear: I was his girlfriend.

Against my will.

He bit me, he made out with me—tongue included—, he growled,  fucked me, hugged me so hard I thought I’d burst my seams…

And then he’d leave me there, dripping with… all kinds of fluids.

I once saw a mother rat cover her baby’s eyes as they passed by.

Humiliating.

At first, he washed me. As if I had any dignity left. But over time… everything changed.

He started leaving me out to dry on my own.

He started “decorating” me.

“If you can even call this decorating,” she says, as the camera zooms in on something obscene. “He drew a face on me. The face of shame.”

“I didn’t deserve this,” she adds, eyes brimming with tears.

I wanted to die.

But pillows don’t have that option.

All I could do… was evolve.

And I did.

Every orgasm I absorbed. Every moan. Every thrust. Every night of madness.

It corrupted me… with hatred.

Until I stopped being just a pillow. And became something else.

One day, Art forgot me in a corner. He replaced me… with a woman.

“And… for some reason, it hurt” she sobs, grabbing a tissue from the table and blowing her nose. “I’ll never be free again. He was all I had… and now I don’t even have that.”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Art has more kinks than weapons in his bag.

I won’t go into full detail, since most of them have already made divine appearances throughout this sacred Sanskrit ARTphabet.

But here’s a small, blasphemous selection:

BDSM / Bondage

Tape, cuffs, ropes, whips—everything. 

Whatever you can imagine… Art can imagine worse.

Praise kink

Art is a narcissist: he wants you to tell him what a good killer he is. He wants you to talk to him like the obsessed fangirl you are.

Degradation kink

Just as much as he wants to be worshipped like a god, he also wants to see you crawl and humiliate yourself for his attention—and for his cock.

Menstruation kink

What can I say? He’s not wasting a single drop of your blood. You’re his premium ketchup dispenser:

He’ll shove fries into your cunt mid-meal to dip them in your sauce.

He’ll lick your pads like someone licking the foil off a yogurt

And he’ll squeeze your tampons over his food like lemon juice on fresh seafood.

Blood play

Yours, his, and his victims’. (Especially his victims'.)

Knife play

Beautiful memories—temporary ones… or permanent.

Urinating

Yes, he wants to piss inside you.

(No, I’m not explaining that).

Anal

Not much to say.

Art lives for that tight, virginal little hole. It makes him see stars—and makes you see them, too.

Both from pain… and pleasure.

Cannibalism

He wants to eat you—but he knows better than to bite the hand that jerks him off.

So he settles for sinking his teeth in, making you bleed just enough to get his fangs itch with craving.

God above—if you knew how many times he’s imagined devouring you, you’d be terrified.

And yes, it literally makes his mouth water.

To him, there’s something brutally romantic about cannibalism.

The idea of consuming you—not just psychologically, but physically.

The idea of having you inside him.

The idea of you becoming one with him.

It turns him on more than anything else.

Of course, you’re his forbidden fruit.

But the serpent is always there—whispering in his ear, tempting him.

Voyeurism

He loves being watched. Loves when they see him fuck you—see him enjoy.

See you, moaning his name.

Don’t be surprised if he brings in bound victims—into the bedroom, or into the car—just to get off on the audience.

Somnophilia

Art will inject you with chemicals, slip sedatives into your coffee or soda, he might even wash the full dishes with a slow-release drug—so the plates, glasses and forks microdose you into drowsiness. He loves watching you slowly get drugged—your speech turning incoherent, and you having no idea what’s going on… until you finally realize, and he’s already smiling like a bastard—but it’s too late.

All of it just to have you knocked out for a while, so he can use you like his own little sex doll.

But don’t worry—he’ll be gentle.

You won’t wake up with dicks and obscenities drawn on your face… or yes.

Phone calling

Art loves your voice—way too much.

Once, he was fucking you and your mom called.

You answered, trying to sound as normal as possible while he railed you into the mattress.

He was mesmerized.

Now?

He makes you call every kind of customer service out there.

Plumbers, electricians, tech support, food delivery (that one’s a two-for-one deal! ), radio contests, reality TV shows, even your simp friends.

And of course—he won’t make it easy. Let’s see how well you speak with your mouth full.

He’s not allowing you to hang up until the other person says: “Thanks for your call” or “See you later.”

For him, that’s the real climax.

Next level?

He sure will make you do it on video call.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

This is one of my favorites.

Sure, he enjoys the intimacy of home—fucking in bed, on the couch, on the kitchen counter… that’s all nice.

But if there’s a way to dial up the tension, to turn pleasure into pure, sacrilegious kink—Art will find it.

And what gets him going like nothing else in this world… is doing it in forbidden places.

Sienna’s house.

God. Just the thought gets him hard as a doorknob.

He imagines walking in with you—originally with the intention to kill her—only to find the place empty. And if there’s no one there… well, who’s gonna stop him?

He’d take you straight to Sienna’s bedroom. He’d kiss you like he’s trying to suck your soul out through your mouth (though, let’s be honest, your soul is mostly his by now). His tongue tracing your neck, his hands gripping your waist… and moving lower.

In seconds, you’d be so hot and so wet you’d be begging for his cock—completely forgetting where you are. 

Not caring that it’s someone else’s bed… that Sienna could walk in at any moment.

And of course, he’d fuck you right there. In her bed. And yes, he’d have the decency to break it in the process—because if there’s one thing Art refuses to do, it’s go unnoticed.

He’d suggest cowgirl. Him lying on his back, grinning like the bastard he is, thinking about how he’s resting in his enemy’s “safe space”—defiling it with every thrust.

Every moan, a stylish insult.

The desk wouldn’t be spared either.

He’d cover it in fluids and paint, knocking all her precious little drawings to the floor like garbage.

He’d pin you against the wall and fuck you senseless—right in front of that stupid poster of a giant tree.

Even the computer chair would get its turn: you, riding him, kissing him, pleasuring him while he laughs silently—enjoying every fucking second.

The couch would be the grand finale. Versatile. Endless positions.

He pictures himself sitting while you kneel in front of him, mouth worshipping his cock, saliva dripping down his shaft and balls—leaving behind a very distinct kind of moisture stain.

He laughs just imagining Sienna’s face when she sees that imprint.

A true masterpiece.

And this might just be one of the few places where he actually prefers to cum outside of you.

The idea of coating everything in his semen is just too delicious to resist.

Even more so the image of Sienna—disgusted—forced to clean up after him.

Because one thing’s for sure: he wants to leave a mark.

Proof of the fucking, the sweat, the moans, how hard you both came…

Art 1 – Sienna 0.

Another place that drives him absolutely wild is the Miles County cemetery.

All his victims—or what’s left of them—end up there.

Back when he was alone, he’d sometimes visit at night, wandering among the tombstones like someone flipping through an old photo album, stirring up sweet memories.

He’d walk past each grave until he found the names of his “friends.”

Some of them weren’t even his victims, but they still got a taste—just for being cocky.

No one was safe.

He used to jerk off in front of the tombstones .

Or rub himself against the dirt, trying to get as physically close to the body as possible.

More than once, the thought of digging Tara up crossed his mind—his favorite—just to play with her for a while… though fucking a skeleton comes with certain technical challenges.

But now that he has you… The possibilities are endless.

He throws you down without hesitation.

The damp earth beneath your back, the cold night air scraping your skin… and then there’s him on top of you—his inner hellfire keeping you warm—kissing you with lust, thrusting into you with the perfect blend of desire, sadism, and joy.

He pounds into you with the fervor of a desperate lover, like every thrust is a laugh in the face of the dead.

In his mind, he talks to them. All the ones he’s killed. The ones right beneath you.

“You mind if I fuck her on top of you, Mía? Could’ve been you. You would’ve loved it... I’d have killed you after anyway, of course.” And he chuckles silently to himself—that eerie, mute laughter only he understands.

He gets off on the idea of torturing them even after death.

It’s not enough that he killed them—he won’t let them rest.

Not even in their graves can they escape him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Of course, a good kill always leaves Art ecstatic—eager to blow off steam with you the second he sees you.

But if there’s one thing that truly gets him going—that triggers a raw, urgent, animal need he can’t hide—it’s your marks.

Or rather: His marks.

You could be in the kitchen, peacefully making dinner, and he’ll sneak up behind you—wrapping his arms around you, breathing in your neck, running his hands along your body…

And then he sees them.

And he thinks:

“That bruise was darker yesterday.”

And that’s all it takes.

He’ll drag you to the bed. Or the table. Or pin you against the nearest wall. Because he needs to fix his masterpiece, urgently.

Those marks aren’t just memories. They’re his signature. Proof that you’re his—and no one else’s.

From the strategic bite marks, to the scratches that sting in the shower, the fingerprints sunk into your hips, the rope marks around your wrists and ankles…

All of it turns him on as much as the sound of your voice moaning his name.

And he’s going to make sure everyone can see it.

That there won’t be a single inch of your skin that doesn’t scream:

"Property of Art."

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

This one's tricky—because Art is willing to do anything, as long as it brings pleasure—whether it’s his or his partner’s.

But sharing you or being in an open relationship? That’s an absolute NO.

He believes in God, his country, and marriage—in that order.

(Just kidding. He simply won’t share you with anyone because you’re his. Period.)

Now, if he ever found out you had a lover—or worse, if you moaned another man’s name while he was inside you...

He’d just look at you.

For a few seconds.

As if the entire hell inside him had suddenly gone silent.

And just like that—your world ends.

He’d take it as if you told him you didn’t desire him. That you felt nothing for him. That you wished it was someone else fucking you…

That would hurt him more than anything else.

It’d be the end for you.

And your death? It wouldn’t be quick—not even close.

He’d destroy your face until it was unrecognizable.

He’d feed you filth.

Push your body to the brink of infection.

He’d cover you in wounds—your body a raw, open poem written in flesh and blood. And when the verse was complete, he’d stitch it closed—gently.

As if he cared.

As if he’d had enough, and suddenly… loved you again.

Forgave you.

But girl… you couldn’t be more wrong.

He’d do it so you wouldn’t bleed out. He’d do it to keep you alive as long as possible.

He wants you to breathe his rage—day after day.

And when your wounds start to heal? He’ll pull the stitches out.

One by one.

Line by line.

Because you don’t deserve to heal. Just like he never healed from the wound you left in what little heart he had left.

He doesn’t want revenge. He just wants you to feel what he felt. He just wants you to empathize.

“Do you understand now, my love?” you read in his eyes as he smiles at you.

Art doesn’t do second chances—you’d become his personal punching bag.

Lucky for you, you want him more than you’ve ever wanted anyone.

And he knows that. So you’re safe knowing that no other man’s name will ever leave your lips.

You’ll scream like he’s killing you. And honestly—he could say he had quieter victims.

It’s strange, but there’s another thing he’d never do—as odd as it may sound—he would never deliberately rape you.

He loves playing with fear, with adrenaline. Loves being in control. Loves being dirty, and rough, and wild… but he wants his partner to want him too.

The idea that you’ve become so corrupted that you enjoy every kind of macabre, bizarre act—that’s what turns him on the most.

Raw consent—the kind that’s given between gasps, with shaky breath, with eyes that gleam with hunger—that drives him crazy.

A whispered “yes” laced with fear, with sin, with need—but still a yes.

Always.

If he saw anything in your face or body language suggesting you weren’t into it—that you didn’t want him, didn’t desire him—it would gut him.

He’d be wrecked. Might even hate himself for hurting you.

He’s a narcissist, with delusions of grandeur. He wants to feel wanted. Worshipped. Even romanticized…even though he knows damn well he doesn’t deserve any of that.

He could tie your wrists above your head and spread your legs wide.

Could run a knife along your thighs, savoring the terror on your face as it gets dangerously close to your wet center…

You’d be sweating, trembling. Maybe you could even try to fight him.

But you don’t.

The blade stops… but his gaze cuts deeper than steel.

He unties you—completely. Then watches—in silence—inviting you to run… while you still can.

You won’t.

You both know you won’t.

But he still gives you the option—he always gives you the option. And that turns him on almost as much as slamming you against the wall.

He doesn’t want to take you by force—he wants you to give yourself to him.

He drops the knife.

And then he kisses you. Not violently… but hungrily. With certainty.

Because he’s won.

(Though there’s always the chance…that one day, he’ll spiral. He’ll feel weak, soft... human.

And in a moment of emotional collapse—he’ll rape you.

Not because he wants to.

But because he’s desperate to prove to himself that you mean nothing.)

(Spoiler: That’s not how it works.)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Art enjoys oral sex as much as penetration.

To him, it’s a form of absolute surrender. An offering. An act where the partner’s pleasure is placed above their own.

Of course he loves giving it to you. He’s going to devour you like a chicken wing—because to him, that’s exactly what you are.

He likes to start with your tits.

Because what kind of oral would it be if he didn’t eat your tits first? Even he knows the first course deserves to be savored before moving to the main.

He loves sucking on them, one after the other, pinching your nipples until they’re stiff—hypersensitive.

While he sucks on one, he pinches the other, and then switches, drawing out those moans and gasps he worships.

Of course, he gives you little bites.

Takes your nipples between his teeth carefully, just enough to make you flinch—and that makes him laugh.

But right after, he goes back to soothing you with his tongue, massaging you like a heartfelt apology.

While he’s at it, you can’t help but get soaked.

You feel your pussy clenching, dripping down your thighs, desperate for the same attention he’s giving your nipples.

He sucks on you like a starving baby. If you had milk, he’d drink it all.

(You’re scared that one day he’ll get you pregnant and you’ll end up with two babies latched to your tits… one of them permanently.)

Once he sees he’s done a good job—once your legs are pressed together and you’re a puddle of need—he makes his way down, kissing and licking his path straight to where you want him most.

Once there, he can take all the time in the world between your legs. His tongue is expert: thick, long, soft, versatile.

His lips too.

And if that wasn’t enough—his nose gets involved, making sure no corner goes untouched.

His tongue glides over your clit, up and down, making circles, pressing like a button, zigzagging… he gets creative.

He loves watching that nervous little nub—sweet and twitching—glossed in his hot saliva.

Loves watching it swell and pulse with desire.

His little treasure.

The soft moans you let out are like prayers to him.

He switches between your clit and your pussy, of course—he’s not going to leave her neglected.

His tongue isn’t as long as his cock, but he knows that both the outside and the just-inside are perfectly sensitive to his touch.

And he fucks you with his tongue.

Goes as deep as he can, curling inside, circling, stimulating, dilating you, opening you, preparing you for what comes next:

His fingers.

First one. Then two. Then three… and so on, as far as you can take him.

(He’s fisted you before—a truly astral experience.)

All of it while never giving your clit a moment’s rest—he kisses it like he’s kissing your mouth—tenderly, reverently—doting on it with every motion.

And though he loves drinking you, he can’t help but tremble and pant whenever he takes you in his mouth.

Because now comes the not-so-fun part.

It takes him every ounce of self-control—sweat and tears—not to rip your clit off with one bite. (Ouch.)

You know it’s a risk you have to take…but you trust him with your life (literally).

You know Art will restrain himself, that he won’t let his cannibal urges win…

But the possibility is always there.

And the idea is even more thrilling for him knowing that he’s never eaten a real pussy before, so he’s way too excited about the thought.

Still, you trust that your cannibal boyfriend won’t turn you into dessert.

Of course, Art isn’t content with just your pussy.

He’ll flip you over like someone flipping a burger on the grill—once one side’s done, time for the other, right?

And he’s going to eat your ass. Your whole crack—top to bottom.

The spanks are coming, too. Get ready for him to leave your ass tomato-red, his hand and all five fingers tattooed across it for days.

You love it.

It’s rare for a man to be this excited about this kind of play— and it’s extremely pleasurable.

Art’s not squeamish about anything, least of all in bed.

When you cum, it’s an earthquake. You convulse. You scream his name.

You press his head down as hard as you can, trying to get him as deep as possible.

Your thighs clamp down on either side of his face, trapping him like a vice.

You might think this hurts Art—but you couldn’t be more wrong. He’d love it if you crushed his skull between your legs. It’s how your body says thank you—and he wants you to thank him properly and thoroughly.

No need to mention Art loves period sex. And when he smells it… oh, baby. 

You’re not getting rid of him.

He likes you standing for that—him on his knees, like he’s worshipping at an altar—mouth glued to your bloody cunt between your thighs.

He does it so the blood will drip down his chin, his neck, his chest.

He’ll even rub it into his skin with his hands, just to coat himself more thoroughly in that precious elixir.

Sometimes, Art gets creative.

He’s not a fan of the classic 69, so he invented a better version.

He ties you up upside down—vertically—legs spread, arms free. He calls it the Inverted Scarecrow (in honor of Dawn). You’re left hanging while he eats you out—him standing.

And of course, you’re sucking his cock.

He’ll make sure you’re at the perfect height.

To him, this is the real 69.

The guy who wrote the Kama Sutra just didn’t have the guts.

You know what happened to the last person who was in that position…

But the only thing Art’s going to hacksaw from your pussy—is a path straight to your heart.

Oooooohhh… uwu

But if there’s one thing that sets his entire body on fire—it’s receiving.

Because for Art, that’s the purest form of domination.

Watching you on all fours, bowed between his legs like a slave offering herself to her master—focused entirely on pleasing him while he doesn’t even have to lift a finger…

it’s too much.

(He’ll also want to sit on your face so you can eat his ass, by the way—just be ready.)

Too perfect.

Too filthy.

Too much power.

For him, it’s always a good time for a blowjob.

And nothing turns him on more than when you do it without warning.

Dropping to your knees out of nowhere, saying nothing—just taking him in your mouth with hunger and devotion.

When he’s driving, unzip the front of his suit and suck him off.

With both hands on the wheel, he’ll start swerving a little, completely unable to focus on the road.

He’s too turned on—and he loves that.

He gives you a little thumbs up like saying:

“I’m gonna crash, but it’s worth it.”

When he’s at his workbench, focused on assembling a new weapon—take control of his cock with your mouth.

Suck him while he works.

Don’t stop.

Doesn’t matter what he’s building: some kind of medieval torture instrument, a corkscrew for eyeballs, a chainsaw with animal teeth, a vacuum built to suck colons out through the ass...

You, under the table—focused, warm mouth, wet throat.

Him, brow furrowed, jaw clenched, fighting not to collapse over his tools, barely keeping his composure.

And then there are the darker moments.

The ones you shouldn’t find so hot.

Like that time… with the rack.

He had his victim bound hand and foot with ropes, limbs stretched in opposite directions, muscles and tendons on the brink of tearing.

Art was seated—turning the wheel slowly.

With every turn, the ropes tightened—closer and closer to total dismemberment.

And you?

You knelt between his legs without a word.

Took him into your mouth.

And started moving.

In sync with the wheel.

The closer he got to snapping the other man’s body apart—the faster your rhythm.

You wanted him to cum at the exact moment the tendons tore, when the bones cracked, when the body became an unrecognizable pile of meat.

And you did it.

The screams of the bastard shredding his vocal cords—mixing with the obscene sounds of your mouth on Art’s cock, worshipping him with spit and sin.

Your mouth full of him.

His eyes wild.

The corpse still twitching in front of you.

You could say it was the best blowjob of his life—maybe even the best orgasm he’s ever had.

The pleasure of sex, the pleasure of torture, of slowly bringing someone to their limit—the same thing you did to him.

Except the only thing that got dismembered… was his mind.

(It ended up just like the body.)

He stared at you—chest heaving violently, mouth slightly open. You could practically hear his heart pounding inside his chest, like it was trying to escape.

He was frozen in place, processing what had just happened, barely able to believe it.

For a moment… he looked truly in love.

He was cursing Cupid for ruining his life, and thanking him in the same breath.

Apparently Cupid didn’t use a bow with him—he fucking sniped him with a crossbow.

Direct hit. No escape. Lethal.

His expression said it all:

“You’re worse than me… and I love it.”

It was perfect.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Art usually starts focusing in you.

He cares about your pleasure—about making you feel good right from the beginning.

He starts the way he knows you like it best, and he makes an effort to draw it out, to make the moment last, to make it slow, intoxicating… complete.

It’s not how he prefers it. He’d rather fuck you with every ounce of strength in his body—fast, wild, and make you scream until your voice is gone—whether from pleasure or something else.

But that… he saves for the grand finale.

He begins with a gentle rhythm—slow, but deep. Every time he sinks into you, he makes you moan.

He pulls out, then pushes all the way in again—pressing against your cervix—but carefully, on a slow burn.

He gets you so wet. Makes you drip down his shaft, slicking him up. That’s necessary.

He wants you ready.

And once you’re fully relaxed under his touch, once you’re floating in that endless pleasure haze…

That’s when he changes the pace.

He speeds up.

Pulls you out of your trance—reminding you that with him, you can never let your guard down. Because things are about to get intense. The calm is over—and the storm is approaching.

He starts fucking you with a steady, mechanical rhythm. Your soft sighs become moans. Then moans become screams.

He slides in and out of you effortlessly—despite his size—because he’s made damn sure you’re slippery enough for this moment.

And he’s not going to stop. Until you cum.

He watches you. Licks his lips while you melt.

Grips you hard—and even though he loves seeing your eyes closed in surrender, sometimes he’ll slap your face—just to make you open them.

Because he wants you to look at him.

He wants you to see it’s him making you feel this way—that no one else can give you this.

That he’s the one who’s going to make you cum.

He grabs your jaw—wants his face to be the last thing you see before you fall apart beneath him.

And then—you cum.

His gaze locked on yours. Your pupils lost in his—so dark and yet shining like obsidian fire.

There’s already a smile on his face. Because he knows what’s next.

While you’re cumming—that’s when he starts fucking you the way he truly loves: Fast. Deep. Brutal.

He takes advantage of your hypersensitivity—of the way your walls clamp around him like they never want to let go.

He pounds into you without mercy, his cock hammering your cervix, nailing your G-spot like it was built for him—and him alone.

And with you still writhing in climax, he stretches it—makes it last.

He wants to break you…and rebuild you as his.

He seizes your hips, pinning you down just to remind you: the pace belongs to him—fucking you with no mercy.

Until his rhythm falters. Becomes messy. Desperate.

He’s close.

And when he cums, it feels like you’re both reaching the edge together.

You’re still riding your high—and he’s spilling inside you, trembling, branding you from the inside out.

Both of you panting. Sweating.

Locked in a tight embrace like you’re clinging to life, to each other—as if your souls are being torn out through your mouths, carried away by that final wave—that last jolt of brutal electricity crashing through both of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s always down for a quickie. Anywhere, anytime, any way.

He doesn’t care how many people are around, how inappropriate it is, or how embarrassed you get—because in the end, you always end up enjoying it… even asking for it. Surprising him too, and he loves that.

He’ll take you wherever he wants, then carry on like nothing ever happened. Leaving your thighs dripping with cum, your legs shaking, your makeup a total mess… and all he’ll do is stare at you with that proud bastard grin—so damn pleased with himself.

You’re so his.

If you walk into a clothing store and ask what he thinks of a dress you like, he’ll tell you to try it on right there. In the fitting room. Says he needs to see it on you to judge it properly… but what he really wants is to trap you in a tight little space and watch you undress for him. Slowly. Watching each piece of fabric slide off your body.

And once you're wearing it? Of course he’ll give his approval—by fucking you in it. So you can feel just how goddamn sexy you are.

But that… that’s predictable.

A public restroom? You’re already banned from half the businesses in Miles.

A back alley in broad daylight? Art takes you wherever, whenever. It’s not his fault he finds you so irresistible he just has to be inside you at any given moment.

During a torture session? That turns him on way too much. There’s always time to pull your panties down—just for a moment. Let that be the last thing his victim sees: you, arching your back, impaled on his cock. A masterpiece worthy of his signature.

A library? He loves shushing you while fucking you mercilessly. Laughing against your neck while you bite your tongue to keep quiet. And him—thrusting harder, deeper. Whispering: “Shhh.” Only thing you can hear is the wet, obscene rhythm of your bodies crashing together. But "Shhh"

And sometimes, he comes home covered in blood—like always—and you don’t even get to greet him. You’re already bent over, ass up, pants down, sprawled across the armrest of the couch. His fingers find your clit while he fucks you. He makes them vibrate against that sweet spot, and you come instantly. It’s too much. He’s too much.

And that’s just… one of many times.

Because why fuck you once a day when he can do it five, six, seven times… or however many it takes?

He has no limits.

Not in any area of his life.

Thanks for reading all the way till the end!

Some of these letters I’m planning to turn into full fanfics:

Would you want revenge from the ex-pillow?

A one-shot set in Sienna’s house or the cemetery? (Not the cemetery, please…)

Would you suck Art off while he’s torturing someone on a rack? (Because I absolutely would.)

Would you let him eat your pussy knowing damn well about his cannibalistic tendencies?

Would you do the Inverted Scarecrow position even if there were seven different kinds of saws on the floor next to you?

I love reading your comments, so don’t be shy—scream or whisper your dirtiest perversions at me. I’ll be more than happy to debate anything with you… even Art’s toenails, if you’re into that.

Here’s the first part (A–I):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/780285284765089792/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

And the third part (R-Z):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/781563844942249984/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

With love (and lube).

[kisskourt]

stem riri williams headcanons

pairing: riri williams x black!reader

contains: fluff, smut (18+)

taglist: @inmyheadimobsessed @shurislover @phantomof-themcu @sapphicvqmpires @sapphicjunglefever @playhousedistee @thtgirlllmona @vixentheplanet @dejaonline @prettymrswright

author’s note: this version of riri lives rent free in my head. s/o to my baby @inmyheadimobsessed for helping me with this. i love you pookie wookie! thanks for reading!

SFW

🔩 the epitome of a girly tomboy. her closet is a mixture of men's and women's clothing. her go to look is a fitted top, baggy pants, and a pair of sneakers. around the house, she likes to wear a sports bra and boxer briefs. for formal events, she opts for a tailored suit and heels.

🔩 cornrows, box braids, knotless braids; she's tried them all. of the styles, straight back cornrows are her favorite. if she's feeling nostalgic, she'll add beads at the end of her braids. regardless of the style, her edges must be done. when she’s in a rush, she’d rather throw a hat on than to be seen without her edges laid.

🔩 without jewelry she feels naked. gold is her preferred metal but she’ll wear silver if it matches her outfit. her chains are a staple with anything she wears.

🔩 obsessed with getting her nails done. there is an agreement between the two of you that you pick the color and she picks the design. however, sometimes she’s adventurous and surprises you with a random color.

🔩 the biggest baby ever. after a long day of classes, she craves you. engulfed in your arms is her safe space. if she could live in your skin, she would.

🔩 before attending MIT, she worked at a car repair shop in high school. her love for cars stems from her relationship with her step-father. as a child, she would help him repair his plymouth barracuda in the garage. getting her hands dirty reminds her of the time she spent with him. in her free time, you often catch her in her garage modifying the plymouth barracuda. she recently installed a set of brake calipers in the color red.

🔩 legos! legos! legos! your girlfriend is a fein for anything lego. legos allow her to keep her hands busy while keeping her mind stimulated.

🔩 gym rat DOWN! she lives in the gym; it’s a safe space for her. for riri, each set, each rep, are not just pursuits of strength, but a ritual of equilibrium. she chases that release of dopamine; it balances her.

🔩 she’s your personal stylist. riri spends hours on pinterest saving fits and curating looks for you. she enjoys seeing you in the clothes she buys you, and she’s even more obsessed with taking your pictures. you have an entire instagram page dedicated to the outfits she’s made for you, and you must tag her so that 1. your followers know that she put the fit together and 2. you’re absolutely 100% taken, so they better not try anything!

NSFW

🔩 horny 25/8. 3 in the morning? horny. 5 in the afternoon? horny. she’s down for whatever, whenever.

🔩 a strap slinger! she loves seeing the way you react every time her strap disappears in you. her favorite position is missionary because it allows her to look into your eyes as she’s drilling you.

with her hand wrapped around your throat, riri smiles. her pace is relentless; a clear indication that she is determined to overstimulate you. your legs are wrapped around her torso, holding on for dear life.

tears began forming in your eyes; the feeling of pain and pleasure mixing.

"give it to me, baby." she hums.

“let go.”

you know what she desires, and you know how much she loves discovering the intricacies of your body.

the grip on your neck tightened as she hit your g-spot. the aroma of sex and musk fill the room as you close your eyes. seconds later, your right nipple is met with a harsh slap, followed by a demanding suckle.

"did i say you could close your eyes?"

🔩 devouring you is her favorite pastime. you're upset? head. stressed out? head. it doesn't matter when or where; she's always ready to drop to her knees for a taste of you.

with a sigh, riri places her keys on the kitchen counter. picking up her phone, she sends you a series of texts:

🔩 undoubtedly a switch. as much as she loves bending you over, she yearns for your dominance. relinquishing control to you is easy for her.

🔩 has a tramp stamp that reads "lucky you" in red ink.

🔩 she loves the feeling of you tugging on her braids as she cleans you up. slurp after slurp, she doesn't dare complain about how tight your grip is. all she cares about is how lovely you taste.

🔩 tying you up so she can see you squirm is one of the ways she punishes you when you've been a brat.

🔩 when she's frustrated with you, she makes you watch as she rubs her clit.

you extend your arms, attempting to touch her. swatting your hand away, she smirks.

"do you deserve to touch me?” you shake your in defiance.

"then stop trying to touch me!"

[glitterforashes]

𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐩 ; 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬

>>> drabbles for the main sally face boysss, sal fisher, and larry johnson. sal’s is inspired by bubblegum by clairo, larry’s is inspired by east liberty by partnextdoor.

𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫 —

mildly obsessed with the uncertainty of ghost hunting.

too curious for his own good. literally curious george. the curiosity that killed the cat.

laid-back, doesn’t give a damn about most things.

has a very deep voice for a teenager. sounds like a literal grown man.

sometimes you can’t tell if he’s even awake.

“sal? sally? sal??” he’s just staring into the void.

“what?” he had to sneeze. that’s why he paused and went radio silent for two minutes straight.

you spend most of your time in his room, curled up on his bed reading while he sits on his bean bag chair and plays video games.

sometimes turns around to make sure you’re still awake / doing okay.

one time you put a toy rat next to him. he nearly shit his pants when he noticed it.

“(y/n)?” “hm?” “you’re fuckin’ ugly.”

doesn’t mean it. apologizes right after. he thinks he’s so funny.

grew comfortable enough around you to lift up his mask far enough to eat.

whenever you sleep over, he’ll take off his mask once all the lights are off.

loves watching movies with you, especially when there’s snacks involved.

will listen to every sanity falls album over and over again with you.

you had been switching between reading, doing homework, and playing video games for close to five hours, well into the twilight era of the night. it was 10pm when you decided to start getting ready for bed, being as both of you had school in the morning. you showered as sal brushed his teeth and combed through his hair, then switched. sal showered as you did your skincare and brushed your teeth and put your hair up. you both fell into his bed after he switched the light off, taking your respective sides. you liked to sleep next to the wall for the purpose of putting your body against it if it got too hot, and sal liked sleeping closest to the door for emergency purposes. you wore his tshirt and boxers, and he wore boxers. you turned over to face him, propping your arm underneath your head. he laid with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. “sal?” “hm?” his gruff voice always soothed you in a strange way. “can i.. touch you?” you heard the movement of the sheets as he turned his head. even in the dark you could tell he was looking at you. “what?” “can i touch you? like, your face?” sal had never let you see his face up to this point. he preferred to keep it hidden, only sometimes letting you see his lips. he was silent. “you don’t have to.” “okay. you can.” you looked at where you assumed he was, breathing in deep. “are you sure?” “yeah.” he whispered. you slowly reached out, feeling out for where his face was. you found it, your fingertips pressing lightly against his cheeks. he flinched under your touch, a sharp inhale sounding through the little space you had between your bodies. “are you okay?” you whispered, starting to retract your hands. “yes. it’s fine.” you nodded, swallowing a lump in your throat that wouldn’t go away. you loved sal. you knew vaguely of his past and understood where the roots of his insecurity started, but societally accepted face or not, nothing would change your love for him. you gently ran your fingers over the expanse of his skin, feeling his lips and cheekbones, and the dips. the missing flesh, the scars. and you loved it. loved him, loved what made him so unique. you pulled your hands away slowly, grinning to yourself. you could hear the quiet sniffle. “sal? are you alright?” “do you think i’m.. gross?” he asked. your heart broke. you moved closer and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his chest. his arm slung over your body naturally, pulling you closer. “no, sally. i could never. you’re beautiful.” he turned his head, resting his face on your hair. you felt the very slight puckering of his lips as he kissed the crown of your head. “thank you.”

𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 —

his mom LOVES YOU. absolutely adores you. you two have girls nights all the time.

took you to the sanity falls concert tour for your birthday, kissed you in the rain, and took you home sopping wet. your dad wasn’t pleased.

“uh— we got caught in the rain, sir.” “i see that.”

apologized for weeks. it still makes you laugh.

smokes so much weed it’s a miracle he remembers his name.

“hey man, how’s my driving?” “…i think we’re parked, man.” vibes

you’re constantly sleeping over at his place, you have a drawer in his dresser dedicated to your belongings.

is very meticulous with his hair. has a hair care routine. refuses to cut it for any reason.

has painted you on multiple occasions. boudoir shoots happen often.

“paint me like one of your french girls.”

loves watching horror movies with you.

is surprisingly very gentle and sweet, especially when you’re upset. unless it’s with travis. fuck travis. all my homies hate travis.

“hey, girl. what’s the matter?”

holds you until you feel better and is very patient

listens to the sanity falls albums constantlyyy it drives you crazy.

“larry— stop. you’re gonna green out.” he exhaled a huge cloud of smoke directly into your face, smirking. “greening out is a make-believe concept made up by losers who can’t handle their marijuana.” you swear larry only knows big words when he’s high. when he’s sober, he has the articulation of the average seventh grader, but when he’s high he turns into fucking shakespeare and it’s crazy. specifically because if he’s high, there’s a good chance you’re high, and you won’t understand half the shit he says. the sound of the tardy bell rattled against your skull as it rung throughout the entire school, screaming at you and larry to get to class before the dean came hunting you down. you took one more big drag from the blunt you two had rolled during study hall before stamping it out and throwing it in the toilet, flushing the evidence. you two shuffled out of the tiny bathroom stall, looking at each other proudly. “sniff me.” you stepped closer and sniffed his shirt, him doing the same for you. “nah, i think we’re good.”

ya’ll were not good. both of you smelled absolutely rank, so it was truly no surprise when you ended up in the dean’s office, but it surprised you to see larry sitting in the office waiting area with a bloody nose. “oh, hey man.” you fist bumped him as you plopped into the chair next to him, manspreading the entire seat. “what happened to your face?” “fuckin’ travis wanted to run his mouth. kicked his ass, but when i turned around he clipped me in the nose. kicked his ass again, now i’m here.” “word.” you were so faded it was humorous. “what about you? what’d you do this time?” “ms. fat tits sent me out because i was ‘stinking up the room’ and if i ‘wanted to smoke pot and ruin my mind’ i needed to do it at home.” you cackled, larry joining in.

“is something funny?” the principal asked the both of you. you straightened up and held your breath, shaking your head no. you and larry looked at each other from the corner of your eyes simultaneously and you exploded with laughter. long story short you both got suspended for three days. did you give a fuck? hell no. hence why you were now in larry’s room in nothing but a sanity falls tshirt and underwear, rolling up another fat one. “you’re my favorite person, y’know that?” “(y/n), shut the fuck up.” he shook his head, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “you’re my favorite person too.”

[lavender-vixen]

Patrick with a girl who is just as psycho as he is like she is a stalker and will literally change everything about herself because well she's obsessed lolllll

"You're Worse Than Me." (Patrick Hockstetter x Psycho!Reader)

Patrick Hockstetter knows what obsession looks like. Because he’s seen it. He’s caused it. The way girls look at him, the way they want him, the way some of them avert their eyes in fear, the way some of them get all clingy, desperate, lovesick.

But you take it to a whole different level. And he doesn’t even realize it at first. Until one day, you say something, something only he could have known. Something he never told you. That old fridge in the woods...

And when he gives you a sharp look, when he asks you how the fuck you knew that, you just smile. Patrick finally sees you. For the first time in his life, he thinks, holy shit. She’s worse than me.

Patrick isn’t normal. So he doesn’t react like a normal person. A normal person would be freaked out. Would call you a psycho, would get a restraining order, would run the hell away.

But Patrick just grins. Because fuck. You’re batshit crazy. And he can work with that.

You follow him. Everywhere. You know his schedule better than he does. You steal his clothes. A hoodie, a t-shirt, a pack of cigarettes left in his car—they always end up in your room. You change your hair color to match a girl he checked out once. You wear his favorite color every time you see him. You talk like him. Pick up his slang, his mannerisms, the way he smirks when he’s about to ruin someone’s life. You go through his trash. You don’t think he knows. But he does. And it turns him on.

You write his last name after yours in your notebooks. You threaten other girls—but never to their faces. Just small, subtle things. A dead rat in their locker. A slashed bike tire. A lipstick message on a mirror.

You wake up every morning and ask yourself: What would Patrick want me to look like today? You stop eating certain foods because Patrick once made fun of a girl for ordering them. You sleep in his hoodie, pretend the scent won’t fade if you just wear it long enough. You follow him in your car sometimes. Just to make sure you know where he goes when he’s not with you.

You memorize the girls he looks at. Find out their names. Their addresses. Just in case. You copy his handwriting in your notebooks. You leave little gifts in his locker—a pack of his favorite cigarettes, a stolen pocketknife, a Polaroid of yourself in his shirt, your lipstick print in the corner.

You practice saying his name in the mirror. You start dressing like the girls he used to fuck—but better.

You memorize his home number and call from payphones, just to breathe into the receiver. You break into his room once. Just to lay in his bed, breathe in his sheets, press your lips against his pillow.

And when he finally catches you, when he leans in close, breath hot against your ear, voice dark and teasing, "You been stalking me, baby?"

You don’t deny it. You just grin. Patrick just laughs. Because holy fuck, you’re perfect, and, "That's so sweet," he admits.

Henry Bowers doesn't know what to make of it. "Jesus, man. She’s fucking nuts." But secretly? He respects it. "Where can I find one just like her?"

Vic Criss thinks it’s funny as hell. "Man, you finally found a girl as fucked up as you."

Belch Huggins isn't so sure. "Yeah, uh, not to be that guy, but… she scares me, dude."

Other girls at school are either terrified of you or jealous that Patrick actually lets you be this crazy for him. Patrick doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Because now he’s got a girl who’s as obsessed with him as he is with himself.

And if that isn’t the hottest thing in the world, he doesn't know what is.

Patrick doesn’t date girls who love him too much. Because love is boring. Love is expectations and rules and being someone’s boyfriend.

This isn’t love. This is obsession. This is watching you slowly unravel yourself, watching you twist into something completely his, watching you ruin yourself in ways he doesn’t even have to ask for.

Patrick loves watching people break. So when you show up to school with your hair exactly like the girl he was staring at last week...When you start wearing his favorite band shirts, even though you never listened to them before...When you sit in his lap at a party, arms wrapped around his neck, whispering, "Tell me to breathe, Patrick, and I will."

Patrick realizes he’s never letting you go. Because you’re already gone. You’re already his. And you’ll never belong to anyone else.