#sometimes you don't understand Why it's so important to get across to someone that your saving them was not a fluke but by god you're gonna

[oopsallmabari]

love not-yet-recognized mutual pining its like the romantic version of edging. planned to have this chapter end in a nice sweet moment that gets cut off b/c they're both embarrassed and they don't know why and now it IS still experiencing embarrassment for unknown reasons but it ends on matched feelings, mismatched communication, everyone loses!

[schizosupport]

One of the curiosities about how psychosis is defined, is the fact that clinically, delusions are defined as strongly held "wrongful" beliefs that don't respond to counter-proof, and that aren't shared with others in a subculture.

In other words, believing even very bizarre conspiracy theories such as "the earth is flat" isn't a delusion, though in a broader linguistic sense it is sometimes referred to as such.

In this post I wanna talk a bit about why that is, and why I do think that it's important to have a distinction between clinical delusions that happen in psychotic illnesses, and strange beliefs that arise in other ways.

So why is it not a delusion if it's shared with a subculture?

I think the reason for this distinction is that delusions experienced by people with psychotic disorders are something that comes from within, rather than something we've been taught to believe. Per definition. Psychotic people aren't particularly "gullible", we don't lack critical thinking skills, we have an illness that make us believe random untrue crap in a way that makes us unable to think critically about it. So while a psychotic belief could be inspired by something we've come across (like a conspiracy theory) our brain is generally gonna take it as a seed and run with it. Therefore we usually quickly get out of bounds from the 'community' that might have inspired our belief anyways.

Overall, we are less prone to having gotten our beliefs from others and are more prone to being the originator of a belief. In something like folie a deux, a non-psychotic person is taught reality from a psychotic delusional person, f.ex. a child growing up with a delusional parent. The child might appear at first glance to be psychotic, but actually they only believe those things because that's what they were taught by someone they consider an authority. If you remove the child from that environment, you will usually be able to help them regain a better understanding. Similarly someone might grow up in a cult. And they are believing what they are being taught, and their parents are believing what they have been taught. And there will be most likely an originator to the cultish beliefs. That person might be maliciously making things up, or they might even be psychotic and delusional. But the people who are being taught these things as facts are behaving like most humans, as social creatures who's reality is defined by their context.

Most people's context is defined along the lines of consensus reality, but if your social context is not aligned with the majority consensus reality, you are still aligned with the beliefs of your social context if you share your weird beliefs with a subculture. Your brain didn't independently come up with a wild belief that is out of touch with everything you know/have been taught.

Consensus reality is a consensus. And even if the consensus you follow is shared by only 2% of the population, if that 2% is all the people you relate to and consider to be the people "in the know", then you are in a way not going against your contextual consensus reality. You've just picked a less popular one.

So what defines a clinical (psychotic) delusion is that it does not align with any consensus about reality that you have access to. It's your own, and it's unlikely that you have allies who are supporting your beliefs. Though in rare cases a clinically delusional person may be contributing new material to a subculture, that others then start believing, and as a result they do share their beliefs with a subculture. But they didn't just learn the belief from the subculture, the belief is growing and morphing independent of the group.

But yeah that's all clinically speaking. In a broader linguistic sense, I think people use "delusional" to refer to anyone who has beliefs that aren't aligned with the majority-consensus-reality, or even more simplistically, that aren't aligned with the speaker's understanding of consensus reality (usually as an insult). So an atheist might refer to the religious as delusional, and vice versa.

It may be a losing battle to get wider society to stop using 'delusional' in this way, but I think it is at least helpful to talk about how such "delusions" differ fundamentally from the psychotic experience.

[benchspkmnirlhub]

A Guide to Pokemon IRL

Hello! Pokemon IRL has been getting more and more popular over the year and a half I've been in the community, and I'm seeing lots of people being confused by it.

So I'm making this guide, to hopefully help people understand it better, and perhaps join us in this wacky community.

Part 1: The Basics

Essentially, Pokemon IRL is a RP community centered on one single premise: Blogging as if you were in the Pokemon world. It's a hybrid of askblogs, RP blogs, and general tumblr blogs.

There's very few rules to it, other than just "don't be a jerk". There's all kinds of Pokemon IRL blogs, from regular OC trainers, to canon characters, to characters who are Pokemon themselves, to even Fallers from non-Pokemon media, and more!

The main thing is that 98% of Pokemon IRL operates on the multiverse. Blogs can have conflicting canons, since the multiverse exists, and the blogs can be from different universes. This also means that multiple people can RP the same character. I've lost count of the amount of Kieran and Silver blogs.

Why is Pokemon-world tumblr multiversal? Who knows! But that's the one generally accepted canon thing across almost all Pokemon IRL blogs.

Part 2: Glossary

I know glossaries are usually at the ends of books, but I figure it's important that I define some important terms before I get to the rest of this guide.

Rotomblr - The generally accepted name for Pokemon-world tumblr. I personally prefer to use the name Tacklr instead, but that's just my opinion.

Sapient Pokemon - Pokemon that are sapient. Typically refers to Pokemon that run blogs. Some blogs don't allow interactions with them. Some blogs love interacting with them, though, such as all my blogs!

Eebydeeby - A human that has been turned into a Pokemon. "Eeby" is short for it. "Sleeby" means "slow eeby", or a human that has been or is in the process of slowly turning into a Pokemon.

Hybrid - This has two meanings. The first is someone who's part human and part Pokemon. The second is a Pokemon that's part one species, part another species.

Pelipper Mail - This is a multiversal system of mail, powered via Pelipper! You can have Pelippers send items to other blogs with this. Can be enabled or disabled per blog. Same goes with the next five terms.

Pelipper Unmail - Instead of giving, this is taking. This steals something from another blog via Pelipper.

Pelipper Malice - Essentially, this is sending something to another blog that you know will hurt them.

Musharna Mail - It's like Pelipper Mail, but with dreams! This can be used to send dreams to other blogs.

Musharna Malice - Just like Musharna Mail, but it's nightmares instead of dreams.

Magic Anons - Essentially, this allows anons to do whatever they'd like to the characters on your blog. Use caution when enabling this, though, as it's suspected that some people fetish mine with these.

High Stakes - Basically, this refers to anything that can majorly injure many characters, or otherwise have lots of bad stuff happen. Many blogs don't like interacting with this stuff, so it's best to tag it.

Drama Stakes - Like High Stakes, but less. This is when stuff is happening that could lead to in-universe ruined relationships. Best to tag this too.

Ultra Stakes - Like High Stakes, but more. This is when things lead to potential death of many characters. Definitely best to tag this as well.

Chosen - Sometimes someone is a legendary's favorite special little person, and they get powers from it! That's essentially what a Chosen is.

Faller - Someone, usually from a non-Pokemon media, who falls into the Pokemon world. Essentialyl a way of writing a non-Pokemon character in Pokemon IRL.

Self-Insert Faller - An OOC blogrunner falls into the Pokemon world. Can get very meta.

Muse Mixup Madness - At the start of every month, there's an event where some blogs temporarily change their core concept for a day or a few. It's best to tag these, and to give warnings beforehand.

Part 3: Setting up your Blog

Setting up a Pokemon IRL blog is a lot like setting up a regular tumblr blog, just in-character.

The main thing you'll need is a pinned post explaining the premise of the blog. These are usually in-character, with an OOC section at the bottom.

It's best to warn for possible triggers that might pop up on the blog, as well as explaining your boundaries (i.e. if you don't want Pelipper Mail).

Feel free to theme your blog too, changing the header and icon, adjusting the theme colors, maybe even have a custom theme!

Once you have that all set, you're ready to interact!

Part 4: Interacting

I made a full guide on how to interact here, if you want to check it out!

The main thing is, don't be afraid to interact. Even with big blogs. Everyone's happy to receive interactions! Worst that can happen is that your interaction is ignored.

So don't be scared! Jump in, and start interacting!

Part 5: General Advice from my Friends

I asked around for any additional advice people wanted to add, and here's what some people had to say:

"uhhh ooc communication is super important, especially if youre trying to do a plot with someone or smth along those lines" - @espers-n-espurrs

"Uhhh "Do it scared" Like. If you're nervous about doing something but you wanna do it, do it even though you're scared!!!!! Also like. Have fun. People can tell when you're having fun. Be silly. Do what you want forever. Also that big blogs 9/10 don't mind interactions with smaller ones. I think I count as one and like. I am just as scared as interacting with new people as the smaller blogs who wanna interact with me" @chaos-cousins

"interact with people" - @justalileepguy

"The absolute worst thing that can happen if you send someone an ask is that they delete it. People like getting interaction, even if it's from a blog you don't follow. If you're having trouble interacting, find something your two characters have in common and point it out" - @fated-furret

Part 6: Miscellaneous Stuff

If there's anything I'm missing, feel free to let me know, or add it in a reblog! I've been in this community for a long time, but even I don't know absolutely everything.

If you've read this far, thank you! I hope this guide helps in some way. Reblogging it is appreciated, but not necessary.

And if you're thinking of joining the Pokemon IRL community, then I'm excited to help welcome you!

[11rosebunny]

Things you do that he finds cute (BOFURIN)

Haruka Sakura

Snorting. He's a bit of an odd ball for that but he finds it cute the way your face slightly lights up and how you try to maintain from bursting out laughing, he like's seeing you happy.

What's even more weirder, he likes it when your focusing on something and you end up doing a small habit of yours without even thinking about it (biting your nail, playing with your hair, finger tapping, nodding your head to music, etc).

Since he has trouble speaking sometimes, his go to is to just admire you.

Hajime Umemiya

Screaming. He finds it absolutely hilarious and cute whenever you're startled and you let out a scream or a yell which is usually followed by a punch of someone who scared you purposely.

He's very annoying and likes it when you're shy with him around. The feeling that he was able to make you go red by just a subtle thing makes him chant to the sky in his head.

Even so, he equally enjoys it when you're babbling about something that you're very interested in.

Toma Hiragi

Really loves it when you laugh softly, it brings out the pretty nature you hold in which he doesn't understand why you hide it from other people. So when finally coming across you laughing, something swells in his heart seeing you cheerful.

Grabbing a piece of his clothing and pulling it to get his attention. For whatever reason, it makes him go crazy to the point where he starts throwing bananas all over the place in his head. If you ever do that, don't be surprised if he magically picks you up and squishes you to death (he probably won't do that but he thinks of that whenever you drive him crazy).

Ren Kaji

When you're quiet.

Even though your relationship ship is extremely wonky, because of living next to each other and being in Highschool, the two of just slightly matured with each other.

He will never admit this but he likes seeing you put up a good fight, even if it's against him hence why he'll never admit it.

Taiga Tsugeura

Rambling about total nonsense. If you're the type of go onto unethical topics that pretty much have no importance to anything, seeing the way you're so interested and deep into the conversation makes him feel like it's also interesting.

If you're walking together and you hold onto his arm, he will forget how to breathe.

Aside from that, he loves it when you support his stinky gym life.

Hayato Suo

Laughing audibly. An absolute sucker for making you laugh, even if it's not intended.

Since you are the one who's more cheeky and open than him, he finds it cute in the way you willingly immerse yourself in his types of interests even though he can already tell you're not going to like them as much.

If you're stuck on something, it makes him so happy that you go to him first about advice, makes him feel needed for you!

[somethingpersonarelated]

On simplifying Akechi

My brain was ridden with these ideas people have about Akechi that piss me off a little. Mostly ones that say he is "just crazy" or "just hates Joker." There's countless metaposts countering these arguments (and they are absolutely wonderful) but I often wonder WHY simplifying Akechi down is so appealing, even to people who are fans of his character. I can't say I've never been immune to simplifications of his character either, and I feel like that's important to admit. I don't even think it's necessarily a bad thing, but I was wondering about that why question.

TW: Discussions of mental health and child abuse

Source: A high schooler's holiday from the P5 Comic Anthology (read it here!)

I do think it's hard for all of the little things Akechi's character builds upon to be conveyed through a single playthrough. If you go in blind or don't finish his confidant, you may only get that surface level exploration of his character. Base Akechi is flashy and still gets the point across that it needs to: he's a foil to Joker and the PTs. However, by missing out on his social links and special events, you miss cultural, relationship, and personal context.

Many words have been said about the translation, particularly in the engine room, being faulty in areas. But some people still don't understand that Akechi's plan isn't to kill Shido, even when the text makes that clear. There's also this scene with Shido, which reads more as an exposition dump in a long section of the game most players will either tune out or skip. Not everything you see will always stick in your head, and Persona is a LONG game. I feel like it's easy to forget people just... forget canon sometimes. It's easier to put these details aside and say Akechi isn't affected by the system he's raised in. But the reality is, you miss what Lavenza says about Akechi's role, you miss that one exposition scene, and you miss the confidant: you believe Akechi had much more autonomy than was actually true. In conversations I've had with people IRL about Persona, 2/3 either skipped or did not finish Akechi's confidant. It isn't improbable, playtimes can range from 100-300 hours, most playthroughs take weeks. People will forget things. It isn't a maybe, it WILL happen.

When the game feeds you so much information, it's also easier to take what the characters say at face value. Doing this with Akechi will bite your ass. Those words in Rank 8 are directly expanded upon in No More What Ifs, the engine room, and 2/2. Maruki and Morgana confirm Akechi doesn't hate Joker, but you never hear Akechi say it himself. To me the game beats you over the head with this information (as the game has a tendency to do for certain situations), but I've also been in the rabbit hole for over a year now.

There's also this idea that recognizing that Akechi was set up by Yaldabaoth, his upbringing, and Shido means that all the venom is taken away from his actions. That isn't true, and Akechi holds to that in third semester. He doesn't give himself any grace for the situation he landed in, wanting to take accountability for it when it is undone without his consent. Akechi is by no means a perfect victim, and he doesn't believe that either. Recognizing that he had no choice, it was either homelessness and neglect or the plan he conjured himself only brings to light the tragedy of his situation, not whether his actions were morally incorrect. He wanted his father to be in his life, and he wanted his father to suffer. He wanted to have someone like Ren in his life, and he couldn't have someone like Ren because his plan would be jeopardized. It's a series of choices, some of which are forced upon him, some of which he chooses himself. That is an important distinction to make.

There's also this idea that Akechi is 'just crazy,' or never suffered from abuse or events that affected him long term. That he doesn't suffer from unspecified mental health conditions or trauma, and chose everything with a clear mind. When someone brings up this argument, it's usually in response to people talking about his life experiences. That somehow, the existence of trauma or a condition is an excuse for whatever he did. There's a double standard here: Akechi is someone who suffers from a condition that makes him 'plain crazy', simplifying his entire motivation and role in the story, while also removing him from the context of his mother, Shido, and his experience with the foster system. Actually interacting with these facets of his character brings to light the challenging things the story asks you to think about when it comes to Akechi: Is he a victim? Is he like the Phantom Thieves? What about his situation informed his choices? Interacting with this requires effort and an actual acknowledgement about what it means to be someone that suffers from trauma. Calling him 'plain crazy' not only is in disservice of textual analysis, but more importantly incorrect (and frankly, it falls straight into ableist tropes about mental health).

Sometimes internet debates/discourse lead to simplification, even just random headcanons may lead to simplification. That isn't always bad. There are many ways to say what I said here in fewer words. I, unfortunately, am not skilled enough to do that. But some of these simplifications lead to entirely incorrect judgements about a character, or even about mental health issues. When that happens, I wish people would learn to reflect about what that means when they interact with a piece of media. Or even with other people.

tldr: people should learn to say they just don't like things instead of coming up with excuses that make no sense. basically

[wanderingelvis]

Hi, I really loved your headcanons for how Elvis would talk about an innocent reader to his friends, and I was wondering if you could write an imagine or short fic going more in depth on the mafia guy's not-so-pure feelings for the reader?

I love this suggestion, I hope what I've written is okay - not been feeling the most confident in my work lately! 🧚

🧚 Masterlist 🧚

Everything always manages to fly right over your pretty little head

Dirty jokes, condescending comments, telling looks

Even when someone has to sit you down and explain to you what's going on, sometimes you just still won't understand

Even though you try to understand, sometimes you'll nod along with wide eyes and those pouty lips, at everything that's being said just to try and seem like you're convincing someone, anyone

But it's what makes you utterly adorable to Elvis

And to the rest of the Memphis Mafia

You're so goddamn clueless and innocent that you instantly make anyone with a bit more knowledge than you feel special

You'll cling to them, ask them questions, listen to every word they have to say and try and understand it

And you'll make them feel like they're the most important person in the world to you at that moment

And goddamn, that's an addictive feeling for any man to feel

So it only made sense when Elvis moved you into Graceland with him and you became Elvis' little darling

And the Memphis Mafia's little darling by default

They're all infatuated with you in some way

And Elvis knows

He knows that he's got the prettiest, sweetest, most adorable little thing in the world

So he knows he ain't gonna be the only one to be blown away by you

There's a policy of "look but don't touch" when it comes to you

For no reason, other than your safety, should any of the Mafia try to get handsy with you

But oh boy, do they dream about it

They know better though, they know how possessive and protective Elvis is of you

"I catch any one of you fellas tryin' it on with my Y/N and I swear there'll be goddamn hell to pay."

Elvis tells them on afternoon

You never notice the stares from all of the men

Or the looks they exchange with each other whenever you twirl around or bend over slightly too much and your pretty little panties become exposed

And whilst as a collective, they intimidate many

How else did they get the name, 'Memphis Mafia'?

They don't intimidate you

No, in fact, you'll sit by Sonny all night during a poker game, having him explain the rules and help you with your hand

You'll ask him questions like he's the best poker player in the world all night

And he'll feel incredible because of it

You'll babble and babble at him with questions and he has to try and not laugh as he finds it just so endearing how clueless you are

But how totally determined you are to be able to play with all of the men

And when you play a great hand at the poker game because of Sonny's help, all of the big, old men will suddenly shower you with praise, making you blush and get all nervous and shy at the onslaught of attention

"Atta girl!"

Sonny will chuckle

And you giggle that angelic giggle and give Sonny a hug, thanking him for his help

Only for Sonny to be aware of the unspoken and invisible policy that hangs over your head and he catches Elvis' eye from across the poker table, and he's watching you and Sonny like a hawk

"Why don't you go show EP what you did, hey hon?"

Sonny will suggest, letting you run to Elvis who smiles warmly at you, and engulfs you in a cuddle

A cuddle that makes you feel practically giddy with delight as he effortlessly brings you onto his lap, holding your tummy with his strong arm, keeping you in place

"My clever girl."

Elvis coos in your ear as you sit in his lap, making you smile bashfully and squirm about

Many of the Mafia members watch Elvis' interactions with you and whilst they wouldn't admit it, they were jealous

So goddamn jealous

Wishing it was their laps that you would settle in

That it was the rings on their fingers that you'd absent-mindedly play with when the men were talkin' about things you couldn't understand

Wishing it was them that would end up taking you upstairs and undress you

That it would be them that you'd giggle to as they kissed your body all over

That it would be them that would fuck you endlessly and they'd hear your sweet little cries and moans all night long

Only for you to say thank you at the end

Because you're such a good girl

But it isn't them that gets to experience that, and it never will be

It's Elvis, it's always Elvis

He has your heart

But the members of the Memphis Mafia will settle for having even just a conversation with you

Because even if Elvis has you, at least they have their sinful thoughts of you

[buriedpentacles]

How to Discern Sign from Coincidence

I've noticed that in both on and offline witchy and pagan communities a lot of people's first question relating to deity work and communication is "how do I tell if something is a sign" so I wanted to share my perspective and how I vet something as being a sign or message from my deity or not. This is a pretty simplified 'checklist', but it's important to note that signs are not my main form of communication with my deity which is why I'm quite 'conservative' in identification of them!

How many times? Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence but three times may be a sign. This is a general rule I use for signs like angel numbers, specific animals or imagery or something similiar. Though it doesn't always apply - for example, if I see five crows on a nearby roof I don't see it as a sign because that is a very common sight where I live. But if I see three deer near my house in one day, that IS pretty mystical.

How unusual is it? If something 'makes sense' or can be easily explained by mundane reasons it is less likely to be a sign, and this can work in "levels". E.g. if I see a spider in the corner of my room, that's pretty unlikely to be a sign because that's just what spiders do. A spider running across a specific chapter in my book or tarot guide is still explainable but I'd probably check if it was meant to be a sign. And a sparrowhawk landing on my windowsill would almost definitely be a sign because they rarely come into the area where I live.

How does it make me feel? Sometimes I get a gut feeling that something is a sign or a message, even if it isn't unusual or has only happened once. This can easily be mistaken for 'wanting' something to be a sign so still vet and double check but the differentation does with time, experience and a growing relationship with a deity. Often, signs are clear that they are signs, because you're deity wants you to see them and so your intuition often drags your attention to the, and tells you that they're special somehow.

How do I confirm? I almost always vet signs and messages, typically it's just a quick tarot reading to confirm that something was a sign and what it might mean or represent. Often I'll also meditate or consider the sign to see what feelings or knowledge it inspires in me as well. Sometimes I don't need confirmation, I just know. But that has come with time and I would always check early in my relationship to my Mother Nature.

Important notes If something is just coincidence, that's okay, and it's still cool! So what if that crow wasn't a sign from a deity, you still got to see a crow! And so what if that fortune cookie message wasn't actually a message from your spirit guides, it can still be an inspiring and needed message! There is magic in the mundane and that's wonderful.

If you're new to paganism or witchcraft and want to work with a deity I will warn you to be wary and do a lot of research. Don't just assume: "I saw crows the other day, Odin must be reaching out to me." or "I found a bunch of rose petals on the floor so it must be aphrodite." Signs can mean a great number of things and if you truly believe it is a deity, vet and research source materials for that deity and pantheon. Ask for confirmation and take things slowly, it is very easy to trick yourself into seeing something you want to see.

Signs vary between practitioners and it's important to understand and respect that. What might mean one thing to you, means something entirely different to someone else - even if you're devoted to the same deity. While I always recommend checking original religious sources (if possible) for traditional omens and meanings, they will probably be quite unique to you!!

Tell me about some signs you've recieved from your deity or spirit guides (or whoever)! Mine tend to be animals or plants, which is definitely on brand!

[atinystraynstay]

I'd Wait For You - Joshua Hong

Synopsis: Joshua was your best friend, the person who has witnessed you grow and blossom. That includes being front row to watching you fall in and out of love with people. Joshua was convinced he could treat you better. Could you find yourself to let him in?

Pairing: non-idol! Joshua Hong x fem reader

Genre: Angst, childhood friends to lovers, fluff here and there!

Word Count: 2.3k

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

When Joshua thought of the person he was, it was because of you. You were the one who helped him pick out clothes so he found his style, you were the one who boosted his confidence he he doubted himself and pushed him to try new things, and you were the one who helped him made bad decisions sometimes in the hopes of making long-lasting memories. You were his person.

It was written by the universe that the two of you would be best friends. With your mothers being so close, there is no denying that you two will always have an important place in each other's lives.

Ever since you were younger, you two didn't go somewhere without the other. You attended the same schools, even the same college. Sure, college led you two to different friend groups, different activities, and different majors. But you always made time for each other even when life got busy. You two would study constantly and promised to have one meal together once a week. And you two never broke that promise.

Anyone who witnessed your friendship always commented there was something more. Joshua saw it too. He easily fell for you. How couldn't he? You accepted every version of himself and were the person who brought him an immense source of comfort. He couldn't imagine life without you.

Unfortunately, he had to imagine what it would be like to be with you.

"Do you think he's worth it?" You sighed.

The two of you were on FaceTime. It was a Tuesday night. While Joshua was at home, waiting for his food delivery, you were busy getting ready for a date.

Part of the reason why Joshua had to imagine what life would be like if you two were together is because you were seeing someone. For the past few months, you've been dating this guy named Ben. Now, Joshua didn't think much of Ben at first. He didn't seem like your type, so he thought he would come and go.

And he has to some extent. Ben and you had this awful habit of breaking up and getting back together. While it pained Joshua to see you with someone else, he loved the moments you confided him about your dating woes. He took mental notes of dos and donts for when you two (hopefully) get together. Ben was striking out left and right, mainly due to his poor communication. What Joshua didn't understand was why you always found yourself going back to him.

"Y/n, I don't know. You guys break up so much, I've lost count," he laughed. "It's only been 3 times," you groaned. "3 times what? This week?" "But he said he's changed this time. I mean, he even sent flowers to my apartment after our argument two nights again. That's got to mean something, right?" Joshua wanted to roll his eyes so much at your rationale. He adored you with every fiber in his being, and he didn't want to come across as dismissive, but he felt frustrated both because of you and for you. Ben was not worth it in his eyes. Nobody is worth it for you except for him. But he was your best friend. That was his role. "Maybe, angel. But there's only so much flowers can do to make up for how he treats you sometimes." Your smile had flattened by Joshua's words. And it pained him. He never wanted to be a source of sadness in your life. I guess that's why Joshua often pushed his feelings for you aside. He didn't want to be selfish and confess because that might cause a bigger mess. He loved you. He has since he was 8 years old. If you only saw him as a best friend, he would proudly take that role.

In a perfect world, you would confess to Joshua your feelings. He was ready to embrace those feelings head-on because he knew how he felt about you. What kept him back was not knowing how you felt towards him. You've always been so prominent in each other's lives. He didn't want to imagine a world without you. He was terrified that if he did ever confess, it would only push you away.

Joshua had found himself as the leading man in a tragic love story. "Just promise me something?" He requested. "Whatever you decide, follow your heart."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had to hang up the phone call in order to get ready for your date. Joshua sighed once you face vanished from his phone. He set the phone on the coffee table before driving his fingers through his hair.

How could this happen? You were supposed to be with him, not with some random guy you met who knows where? Not with someone who doesn't see your value.

The whole situation frustrated him beyond belief. On paper, you guys were a perfect match. You two knew each other like the back of your hand. Even when you did have a disagreement, you guys would not allow it to blow up. You spoke to each other with respect, even if you were both angry because you cared about each other. In some ways, you could say you loved each other. Joshua definitely was in love with you.

He has received relentless teasing from his friends about his lack of making a move on you. His friends thought even pushing might cause him to crack. And it almost did. Yet, he was still afraid of losing you and now he might actually be.

You always saw him as a friend, or at least that's what Joshua believed. You two were best friends, nothing more and nothing less. This wasn't some love story where the childhood best friends fall for each other, no matter how many times he prayed it would happen. This was his reality. If he had to let you go to keep you in his life, he would. And he would be there to pick up the pieces each time.

Suddenly, a buzz brought Joshua out of his mind and back to the present moment. He sat up a little straighter, looking towards the door of his apartment. Did he hear that correctly? He glanced towards the clock on the wall. 8:16pm.

Ding dong. Who could that be?

Joshua pushed himself off of the couch before shuffling towards the door. It was just a short walk towards the front of the apartment. He slowly unlocked the top lock and twisted the doorknob to unlock his front door.

There you were.

"Y/n?! What happened?" "Why didn't you fight for me?"

Your voice was calm, yet your body language screamed rage. You had your hair pulled back in a clip, exposing your bare face to the world. You looked divine, but Joshua didn't have time to compliment you. He noticed how your eyebrows were slightly scrunched up while you stared into him. He thought your gaze was going to burn a hole right through them. You were wearing a zip-up hoodie and sweatpants.

"Answer me, Joshua."

Oh no, I'm in deep shit. He was at a loss for words as he stared at you. His mind racking through all the interactions you had. Did he say something over FaceTime? Did he forget to say something? Did you ask him to do something but he forgot? He was drawing a blank.

"Do you like me yes or no, Joshua? Because everyone is saying you do besides you."

His eyes grew wide at that statement. Who spilled? "Y/n, listen-" "No, Joshua, you listen. How dare you let me go on dates with people who treat me poorly. You're my best friend! We're supposed to tell each other everything." That part you whispered. "How could you not tell me?"

"What a damn minute," Joshua finally said. He had a raised eyebrow before opening the door all the way. He stepped aside to let you in, motioning for you to follow him. "I am not going to argue with you outside of my apartment. Get in." You sighed and nodded, slowly stepping in. Obviously something happened in between from the moment you guys to now. Who did you speak to? Who told you his secret? Why were you angry?

Once you were fully into his apartment, Joshua closed the door. You immediately found a spot on his couch, right beside where he was previously sitting. Your hands were locked in front of you, your one leg bouncing. Your breathing was starting to slow down a bit but you gaze was still locked on him. While not as intense, you still had your eyes trained on him.

"Can I get you a water or something before we continue this conversation?" He asked gently.

"There you go again!" You groaned. Your head leaned until it hit the pillow behind you. Your gaze is now trained on the ceiling above you two. He was surprised, completely speechless as he thought he was doing the right thing. "I'm so sick of you being nice to me."

Joshua raised an eyebrow before shuffling over to you. He took a seat on the couch beside you but kept enough distance. He wasn't sure how to process all that was transpiring, but he needed to understand where you were coming from. And apparently have some explaining to you.

"Y/n, sweet girl, you need to tell me what's going on." "You is what is going on," you confessed.

Slowly, you sat up until you were at eye level with him once again. The room was tense. He was nervous, afraid that what you had been told was going to bring his worst fear to reality - that he might lose you. "Joshua, you've set too high of a standard for me. You're kind without asking for anything in return. You treat me like a fucking princess when I'm only your best friend. I'm angry that we aren't together but you treat me better than any guy I've been with."

Was this actually happening? Were you confessing to him? "Y/n, do you like me?" 'I have liked you since I knew what it meant to have a crush on someone," you admitted. "But."

Not the cursed 'but.' "We're best friends. I didn't eat to be presumptuous and think you like me when we've been friends for so long. But then Seungkwan told me that you had feelings for me yesterday. I didn't think it was true especially not when you pushed me to go out with someone else tonight."

Fuck. "Y/n, look, we are best friends," Joshua began. You looked at him as if you just stabbed him in the heart. "But, I fell in love with my best friend."

Very gently, he took both of your hands in his. You stared up at him with a facial expression he couldn't recognize. This was new for both of you. You were venturing into uncharted territory for the two of you. His thumbs caressed over your knuckles which both soothed your nerves but caused your heart to pound faster. "This was not the way I planned on telling you," he confessed. "I actually wanted to tell you once you were single again because I didn't want to stand in the way of being happy." This time, you reached out to him. Keeping one hand in his, your other hand reached over to run your fingers through his hair, pushing the strands back to expose his face more. You seemed to relax under your touch which made you smile for the first time that evening. "Josh, I'm my happiest when I'm with you. Have I not made that clear in all the years we've known each other?" "Y/n, you know I have too much respect for you and too much invested in this friendship to just assume someone like you could ever be into me." You squeezed his hand gently, unable to stifle the giggle leaving your lips. You moved closer to him, our lips almost right under his. "This is so silly. What are we doing? Why are we keeping ourselves from being our happiest versions of ourselves?" He smirked at your question. With his free hand, he cupped your cheek gently. His thumb caressed over your cheek affectionately as he gazed into your eyes. He always has been mesmerized by the fact that your eyes captured any light in the room. They sparkled like two disco balls. "Let's change that," he murmured.

Time stopped. He leaned in so his lips grazed against yours as if he was testing the waters. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable with what was about to happen, as there was no turning back. When you didn't pull away, he got the green light he's been chasing after. His lips fully pressed against yours.

Your head gently tilted up, leaning to the side so your lips fit against him like two missing puzzle pieces. It felt like tiny sparks were going off against your lips. It was a feeling the two of you would soon be addicted to. And it felt so comfortable, so natural. His lips slowly chased after yours for a moment.

Even though he felt the urge to continue kissing you, to never let this moment pass, he did pull back. His forehead found yours, revealing the wide grin the two of you wore. He couldn't help but chuckle before pecking your lips once more. Joshua was just over the moon. He was eager for whatever may be next for the two of you, especially now that there were no limitations. You were his best friend, but now the girl who knew how he felt.

"I kept my promise you know," you spoke softly.

Joshua raised an eyebrow but kept a warm smile. Now what were you talking about? "You had me promise to follow my heart. And I did. You've been my heart, my love all this time."

[arvandus]

Daily Drabble - The Mortality of Aging (Asmo x GN!Reader)

CW: hurt/comfort; argument with resolution

Asmodeus has always been your biggest cheerleader, your biggest supporter, the one who pampers you daily with self-care routines, and reassures you about how beautiful you are, regardless of how you feel about your body. He will do your nails without asking, take on spa days to celebrate his latest modeling gig, and worship every inch of you when he has you in his bed.

Which makes it all the more confusing as to why he suddenly started acting so different recently. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes anymore, his words about self care became more of an insistence rather than a fun activity rooted in self-love. The more he pressed, the more you withdrew, and the more you withdrew, the more upset he got.

You couldn't understand what had triggered this change in behavior from him. Was his sin of lust and vanity growing in strength? Was he finding it harder and harder to maintain his attraction to you? It didn't take long for old doubts and insecurities to creep back in, weeds taking root in a garden that had recently been left untended.

It came to a head, as all things do when the pressure becomes too much. An evening following a tiring day where all you wanted was to rest, to snuggle against Asmodeus's side and fall asleep the gentle touches of his fingers against your skin and his soft lips pressing tender good night kisses across your face. It was all you wanted, all you needed in this moment, but Asmodeus was oblivious to it - which was so unlike him.

"Come on darling, let's at least wash your face..."

"I already washed my face."

"But the first time you didn't use the right soap! I bought you that new one, it's gentler on your skin. Don't you remember?"

Actually, you didn't. You couldn't remember half of the skin care things he wanted you to use, and he always seemed to come home with more the next day.

"Look, it's not a big deal, I'll start using it tomorrow. I'm just really tired..."

"Nonsense, it'll be fast. The night time is the most important time for skin care. Come on, I'll do it for you."

"Asmo, I don't want to!"

But he was already getting up, trying to pull you up to join him.

"Come on, sweetie, it'll only take a minute!"

That was a lie... Asmo's skin care routines were more like thirty minutes, and you both knew it, and you were out of patience let alone minutes.

Anger finally bubbled enough to get past your lips and you yanked your hand out of his grasp.

"I said no! Jesus, Asmo! What is going on with you??"

Asmo froze for a moment, then his eyes welled with hurt tears.

"I just want to take care of you! Why won't you let me take care of you??"

"This isn't taking care of me! Lately you've been pushing your skin care stuff on me, trying to control my diet, telling me when I should go to sleep and wake up and exercise... this isn't taking care, of someone Asmo! This is controlling someone!"

"I'm not trying to control you! I just want you to take better care of yourself!"

"I take care of myself just fine. I don't need you micromanaging me. I've been feeling less like your partner lately, and more like a doll that you want to play with. I'm not a fucking toy, Asmo."

His hands were up in defense, pale palms open towards you like white flags of peace. "Of course you're not! Sweetie, I never said you were. But I know that sometimes... well, you can slack off a little bit--"

Oh now you were seeing red. Your hands balled into fists, and now you were sitting up on the bed on your knees, ready to run for the door.

But not after giving him a few choice words.

"Slack off? Slack off?? Are you fucking kidding me? Asmodeus, I work my fucking ass off, and you know it. Do you want to know why I'm too tired to do your stupid 25 step skin care routine? Because I worked, all fucking day, wrangling your brothers, studying for exams, indulging the Prince of the Devildom when he wanted to talk, help Barbatos run some errands, help Lucifer with paperwork..." You pressed your hands to your forehead, frustrated hot tears welling in your eyes. "But yeah, I guess I'm a fucking failure because I didn't wash my face right, or use the right cream. I'm sorry, I'm not perfect, Asmo. I'm sorry I'm not just like you. And I'm so fucking sorry if I'm an embarrassment to be around because I'm not pretty enough for you."

The tears finally slipped, running burning tracks down your cheeks. But despite your desire to leave, to run out of his door to leave him standing there dumbfounded, you couldn't. Not until you heard his response. Your eyes challenged him, daring him to push you that last little bit, knowing that if he did so, it might ruin more than just your evening together.

Asmo fell silent and his breaths went shallow, as if his chest had been hollowed out by the cutting edge of your angry rant.

"Is... is that what you think? That I don't love you anymore?"

You choked on your own air, his soft voicing cutting you just as much as your loud voice had cut him. "No, that's not what I meant--"

"Isn't it though?" he asked, brows furrowed.

His hand reached out to you, guided by the urge to touch you, but he hesitated. Then he balled it into a fist and his arm fell limply to his side. His eyes looked down at the floor and stayed there.

"I... I know what I am," he said quietly. "I know that I'm vain, and self-centered, and obsessed with myself... I never really seen it as a bad thing. Why would it bad to love yourself, to take care of yourself? Our bodies are the one thing we are allowed to have complete control over. So why not treat it like the shrine that it is? Treat it with respect, with love, and others will treat you that way too."

"Do you think that's what's happening?" you asked. "That I'm not loving myself enough?"

Asmodeus lifted his eyes to you, his unshed tears still trapped in his thick lashes. He studied you for a long moment, his amber gaze drinking you in, and you knew in that moment that he still loved you. Achingly, completely, and utterly loved you.

"Maybe..." he replied, so quietly, as if uncertain about his answer, as if it wasn't something he'd considered before a moment ago. "All I know is that you're changing. You're changing, and it terrifies me. And you don't even seem to notice or seem to care..."

"Changing?" your forehead wrinkled, your eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "Changing how?"

Asmo stepped towards you, closing the distance until you could feel the warmth of his body in the sliver of space between you. His eyes roamed over your face, meticulous and slow. His fingers came up and lightly traced along the corners of your eyes, then down your cheek to the corner of your mouth. Your breath caught in your chest, trapped by longing.

"Here...and here..." he said quietly. "Little lines that weren't there before. They're small now, but.... they'll grow, get bigger, deeper..." He slowly withdrew his hand.

Your hand came up and touched your own face, and finally you understood.

"These? They're just age lines, Asmo... every human gets them eventually..."

He gave a small, empty laugh, and his trapped tears finally fell, shining crystals stuck to the flawless skin of his cheeks.

"I know," he replied. "I know. But it means that eventually, I'm going to lose you. And I can't lose you. I can't."

His head dipped forward and rested against your shoulder, the soft locks of his hair pressed against your cheek.

The burning ember of anger finally went out beneath your veins, cooled by the sad tears that now began to fill your vision.

"Asmo..." you whispered. Your left hand came up to cup the back of his neck, while your right hand came up to run your fingers through his hair. Then, you gently lifted his head until he could look at you. "Look at me. That's not going to happen for a long long time."

"Long for you, darlin'. I'm an angle turned demon, remember? Time is different for me. Another sixty to eighty years is not nearly enough time with you."

His hands cupped your face as he stared at you, and you watched as the warm affection in his eyes darkened into sorrow.

"You're the first thing I've loved as much as myself. Maybe... maybe even more than myself. It hurts... like my heart is living outside of my body, fragile and defenseless..."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "I wouldn't say defenseless..."

Asmo gave a small amused scoff, like sunlight peaking out from behind dark, heavy clouds. But then it was gone again, hidden away by the shadow of his sadness. "You're defenseless against time."

Your own smile faded, and your hands quietly covered his as you put your forehead to his. "I know."

A heavy silence fell like fog around the both of you. Asmo's eyes were relaxed and downcast in thought as you breathed each other's air and basked in the warmth of your tentative embrace.

A heavy question began to eat away at you, and you knew you had to ask it before it devoured all of your hope entirely.

"Asmo... do you regret it?"

Asmo's eyes looked up to meet yours, the colors of his irises nearly iridescent to the point of distraction.

"Hm?" he replied. "Regret what?"

You swallowed the fear that chained your tongue and tilted your head down. "Do you regret loving me?"

Asmo's thumbs stroked your cheeks and he lifted your face back up to look at him, nose to nose.

"Never. Never ever. And don't you dare think I'll ever stop loving you, either."

Tears slipped past the barrier of your lashes to catch on his thumbs. "Even..." you voice broke, and you swallowed. "Even when I'm old and wrinkled and ugly?"

Asmo looked crestfallen, his eyes shining again with unshed tears. "You'll never be ugly to me."

You gave a wry laugh. "Don't lie to me Asmo, it's mean."

Asmo's smile faltered and his jaw clenched before his grip around your face tightened. Not enough to hurt, never to hurt... but enough to get you out of your own head, and make you focus your full attention on him so you could see every drop of love, every bit of honesty.

"I'm not lying to you. You're beautiful now, and you'll be beautiful then too. These" - his thumbs stroked the faint hint of crows feet kissing your eyes - "aren't ugly to me."

"But you hate them, you were trying to erase them--"

"Because they scare me, doll."

A stubborn silence between the two of you as you stared each other down, you with your doubt, and Asmodeus with his persistence. Finally, he sighed and pulled you against him in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you and made you feel like you aren't enough. I'll learn to love them, I promise. I just might need some time to get used to them."

Your arms tightened around him and you inhaled the scent of his cologne. "I love you," you muffled into his shirt.

His hold on you tightened, his lips brushing your ear. "I love you more."

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

If you could arrange the BRF visits anywhere across the world (not only the Commonwealth nations), who would you choose for where?

And what would be your strategic/historical reasons for the choices?

I'm not going to pick who, as I think they all do a great job on their visits/tours. Certain people do get more attention than others, but that doesn't negate the work they do.

As for where: off the beaten path in flyover land.

They go to a lot of the same places and the same types of places. That's why I admire Sophie's work; she goes to new countries, so things are a little different for her. But in addition to the same places, they also go to the same types of places; the same big metropolitan and cosmopolitan cities with maybe a village or two thrown in if they're on the way.

I would spice it up. Go to different cities than the usual ones or make their itinerary exclusively in little villages and towns.

I'll use the US as an example (because, well, that's what I know very well). When the royals come for a US visit, they primarily go to Washington DC, the Northeast corridor (NYC, Boston, Philly), and California. Sometimes they've ventured out - Harry's been to Chicago; The Queen has been to Texas, Kentucky, and Detroit; and William's been to Tennessee (albeit for a personal trip) - but mostly they stay amongst the coastal elite.

But the US is huge. There are tons of places for them to visit in the US that will let them accomplish the same itineraries but perhaps with a little more impact because they're visiting places that don't see that kind of high-profile traffic. For instance:

I'd take them to a HBCU football game. It'd be the culture shock of their lives but imagine how much good it'd do for children who want to study in the US but don't think they'd fit in because of the color of their skin.

I'd take them to the Civil Rights trail through Atlanta or in Selma and to a plantation. They've often cited Dr. King and his work when they do history timelines (especially the 1966 march), but I want them to understand why Dr. King is important and what his legacy - and the legacy of everyone in the 1960s who fought for civil rights - actually is because sometimes I feel they don't quite understand what his value is and means.

I'd take them to the American prairie to show them America's indigenous population. Everywhere else they go in the world, they have engagements with indigenous peoples, but not in the US. Why? American native history is important. It's just as powerful and beautiful and important to understand. (And personally, if they can acknowledge British influence on American slave trade, they can also acknowledge British influence on colonialism and the oppression of the American indigenous people.)

I'd take them to Alaska so they could see the effects of melting glaciers. I'd take them to the southwest so they can see the effects of drying wells and lost water. I'd take them to the shorelines and the rural coasts so they can see what will be lost in rising seas.

I'd take them to some of our little-known national parks because they're just as important to our ecosystem as the famous ones are.

I'd take them to rural Appalachia. It's one of the poorest areas in the U.S. with some of the lowest education rates and highest addiction rates; their charities would thrive under the boost of attention that someone like Kate would bring. Not to mention the Appalachian Mountains and the Scottish Highlands belong to the same mountain range so being able to showcase the biodiversity of Appalachia as compared to the Scottish Highlands, and they're still discovering new species in Appalachia to this day.

But most importantly of all, for a royal tour/visit in the US, I'd take them for a ride on a school bus because apparently (according to my tiktok fyp) no one believes the yellow school bus really exists but maybe getting William and Kate on a school bus and taking them for a ride will make everyone realize that no, it's not a Hollywood creation.

And there are places like this in every country that the tourists and the politicians don't go to because we don't know they exist because ambassadors like the BRF aren't interested in going to those places - maybe it's because they're not as accessible. Maybe those places lack the infrastructure to support a royal tour. Maybe the BRF don't think "flyover country" is glamorous. Royal tours aren't glamorous because of the places they go - they're glamorous because of the people who go on these trips. And don't we all deserve a little bit of shine and glamor, and not just our coastal elite or our society centers?

[cy-cyborg]

Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it - Writing disability quick tips

[ID: An image with “Writing Disability quick tips: Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it” written in chalk the colour of the disability pride flag, from left to right, red, yellow, white, blue and green. Beside the text are 2 poorly drawn people icons in blue, one is standing, the other is in a wheelchair. /end id]

One of the really common ways people push back against disabled people trying to give them feedback on how they’ve depicted disability in their work shows up as something along the lines of, “Well I have a child/parent/grandparent/friend with that disability, so I don’t need to consult other disabled people because I already know what a life like that is like!”

I see the most vehement pushback like this from parents of disabled children. the parents who are their child's advocates, their carers, they see everything their kids go through and have been with them through it all, so they "know what they're talking about already". And the thing about that is, while it means you have much, much more experience with the disability in question, it's not the same as direct experience living with it. Don't get me wrong, it's still an incredibly valuable experience to have, I'm not saying to disregard it, but it's not the same as having that disability. And when you're writing about characters who are disabled, and telling those stories to a public who already have a lot of misinformation about us going in, that lived experience is very, very important.

This isn't unique to parents of course, like I said, I've seen the same kind of pushback from children, friends and other loved ones of disabled people, and honestly, as someone who's been on both sides of the conversation (being a disabled person, but also having loved ones with disabilities different to my own), I do get where it comes from. But no matter how close you are with your disabled loved one, no matter how much you talk, no matter how much they explain everything, unless you yourself have that same disability, it's incredibly hard to understand the details of what life with a disability is like.

Let me use my partner as an example:

Often times, before these larger articles go up, I run them by my partner to ensure the tone and message I want to get across is actually what’s being conveyed. Which means he’s read pretty much every single article I’ve written on this blog. We talk about disability representation and tropes a lot, and he is one of the only people who sees my unmasked and unfiltered reactions to media when it’s done poorly. He’s also done a great deal of his own research on the subject, and worked with other disability sensitivity readers for his own writing projects. Not to mention, well, we live together, he sees pretty much every part of my day-to-day life and he’s one of the only people who doesn't share my disability who I talk to about the more complex emotions that come with it.

I think it’s pretty fair to say he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject of living with the specific disabilities I have for someone who doesn't have them. Despite that though, he still makes mistakes. He still misses things, and sometimes, internalised ableism - something everyone has, even disabled people - still creeps its way into his work. So do mistakes he simply didn't consider to run past me or his sensitivity readers. It’s not because he’s not listening or not trying, I’d confidently say he’s gone above and beyond in that regard, but it still happens. He still misses things that seem so obvious to me, specifically because of my lived experience as a disabled person who has to deal with these things all the time. It’s not unique to him either. A lot of people in my life are aware of the issues I talk about, but struggle to recognise them in practice or struggle to understand why them being depicted poorly is a problem.

This isn't to discourage creators from trying, mind you. But just to serve as a reminder that everyone makes mistakes, and that's ok, so long as you're still trying and still listening. No matter how close you are to a disabled person, no matter how much work or effort you put into unlearning things like internalised ableism, it's still going to pop up occasionally. And that's fine, but it means that you still need to be open to the criticism you get from people with that disability.

[ameliawarnerr]

POV: MC is drunk at Aurora and she texts Jake.

Part - 2

Find part 1 here!

—MC—

I tip-toe down the stairs, my hand grazing the wall as I silently pray not to wake anybody. And by anybody, I mean, Lilly Donfort, Hannah Donfort and Jake Donfort. I am the only one who isn't Donfort so I figured I should get the hell out of here before any of them wakes up. Explaining my presence here is not going to be easy.

I'm clearly in the clothes I wore last night– all wrinkled and shrunken. I have no idea where my phone, my shoes or oh wait I don't know where my entire logic has vanished.

If I ran into someone, I truly hope it to be Lilly. And she could even tell me why I am at her place. Perhaps she found me and then rescued me here. Obviously, it cannot be Hannah. She doesn't even come out of the house that often. If I am unfortunate enough to run into her this morning, I have no clue what I am supposed to say. What if she thinks I slept with her half brother?!

Did I?

However, if I'm as ill-fated as Shakespeare’s tragic characters, I’d definitely come across Jake.

Although it cannot be Jake who got me here. He never goes to Aurora and if Phil was to call anyone to help me, the list would start with Jessy and end with Thomas. Jake wouldn't make it to that list for obvious reasons.

I successfully lay my feet on the ground floor. It's five in the morning. No one would be awake. I sprint straight to the door, paying little attention to my surroundings. I'd have my phone collected later. I'm currently in the red zone of potential awkward situations, followed by guilt and longing. All things I hate.

My hand wraps around the cold knob of the door. I turn it around but it's locked. “Son of a…”

“Where do you think you are leaving?” A distant voice makes a trail of obscene words escape my mouth. Whoever is writing my story is clearly inspired by Shakespeare.

I clear my throat, removing my hand from the knob. I don't turn away as I say, “I don't know how I got here but I need to be back at home. I have an important thing to do.”

“Make a mindmap of all the things that happened last night? I can help.” His voice is a little distracted, taunting and infuriating.

I scoff, turning away to look at him. He’s behind the kitchen island which I had conveniently ignored on the little run from the stairs to the door. He's cooking something. If he really wants to play the indirect, between the lines tormenting game, I think he doesn't know my argumentative and bitch side because I had a soft spot for him as soon as I knew him.

“If you are really feeling helpful, Donfort, then, why don't you tell me what I am doing here?” I fold my hands on my chest. Addressing the opponent with the last name is sort of a declaration.

He doesn't look at me as he sprinkles salt and black pepper onto whatever he's cooking in that pan. My eyes descend to his hands as he works before I jerk them away. “Oh, I stalked you and then I found out that you were drunk and vulnerable so I kidnapped you.” He deadpans.

I scoff again. Jake doesn't beat around the bush. If he's doing this, he wants to make a point.

“I can't imagine why you'd do that.” I crease my brows, pretending to be genuinely confused. I walk towards him. As I lay my palms on the island, I see the slight shake of his hand and his posture becoming rigid. I don't know if it's my closeness or that I indirectly pointed at our history because as much as we both try to ignore it, one of us would mention it. And I can't be the one being caught off-guard.

“Kidnappers often have motivations and planning for months but sometimes, they are driven by reasons that might be beyond the victim’s understanding.” He states, his hands moving swiftly again as he lowers the flame of the stove. There's a mug filled with coffee. I eye it.

Jake looks up then follows my gaze as I look away. He grabs the mug and offers it to me. I take it without saying thank you.

“What’s your point?” I cut to the chase. I'm used to him being percipient and having thoughts a normal human being can't fathom, but I could understand his points. I can, still. But it's five in the morning.

“My point, Stephens, is that the motivation for abduction doesn't matter if you are the victim.” He uses my last name.

“It mattered when Hannah was kidnapped.” I rebuke.

He sighs, putting the stove off and really looking at me for the first time. I might be tackling the guilt of shutting him out internally but the longing is coming out on the surface. “Again, it mattered to us. Not to Hannah. All she could have thought about was finding a way out or regretting being careless in the first place.”

I know what this is about now. No matter the status of our relationship, I don't think he can ever hold back from lecturing me about my own safety. I shove down the softness that his care brings in me and think about how much I hate being called weak. “So this is about my getting drunk in a bar owned by a friend.”

He gives me a look.

“What? It's not like I was totally alone. Phil was there and he's a friend. I'm allowed to get wasted in the company of a friend. And he owns the bar. There's no way he'd let anyone hurt me on his property.”

If I hate being called weak– directly or indirectly– he hates when I trust Phil.

“The same Phil Hawkins who got arrested and had to plead for help to a stranger towns away? The same guy whose bar Cleo and Thomas broke into and he couldn't do anything about that, save for sulking to his sister? That guy?” There's a challenge in his voice.

I slid down to the stool. I can't defend Phil against the truth so I drink my coffee silently after saying, “Yep. Him.”

Jake shakes his head. “All I am asking you is to be a little careful. I know you are smart and can get out of situations perhaps even I wouldn't be able to.” My shoulders rise. His words can make me feel absolutely weak and then inevitable all of a sudden. “But that doesn't mean you can be careless.”

I don't look at him as I drink my coffee, staring at the wall. “I think you shouldn't care.”

He nods. “And I think it's cruel of you,” our eyes meet, “To pretend not to know why I care.”

I tear my gaze off him. “I’ve moved on. I need to pretend that you have too.”

I can feel his gaze on me, pleading silently for me to look at him. I cannot. “You haven't moved on. You're trying to move on and evidently, you are doing an awful job.” He says, his patience little by little vanishing.

I look at him, then. “What do you mean, evidently?” I query, ignoring everything else he said. He turns away and reaches out for something from the opposite kitchen counter. Turning back, he hands me my phone.

The screen shows our chat. Two recent messages marked read. Two recent messages that I sent while I was drunk and it's clear that I was drunk. God, so many spelling errors on top of no punctuation. And I thought solving a case through texts would make me a pro at texting. I threatened him to sleep with any guy? What is wrong with me?

I shrug. “I don't talk like this. This must have been–”

He cuts me off. “Phil? Save it. The drunk you have already tried it. Not to mention, she was more like you than you are now. Honest and bold. She wasn't the one who'd not have enough courage to look someone in the eye.” His voice lowers with every word.

Mortification riles me up from the chair. “Alright. Thanks for the coffee and the lecture I didn't pay for. I’ll be leaving now.” I lay the cup on the island and turn away.

“You talk a lot when you're drunk.” He says, making me halt midway. All the stupid things I could have said wander around my head. The reason I got drunk in the first place is the most plausible one. Shit shit shit—

As I slowly turn sound, I find that Jake has left the kitchen and is now heading towards the stairs, unaffected by my declaration that I'm leaving. Motherfucker knows I'd follow him.

I rush towards him as he climbs the first step. “What did I say?” I ask, firmly.

“Weren’t you leaving?” He banters while continuing to climb the stairs. I do the same, only a step behind him.

“Jake, come on, we are not five years old. Tell me what I said.” I bark.

He barely acts threatened by my acidified voice. “What part? When you were babbling not knowing I was standing two steps away or the long one in the car? To me, they were both equally enjoyable.”

oh my god. I can't trust the drunk me talking to him directly, what shit would I have spitted when I didn't know he was around?

I glance up and he's already five steps away. I rush to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him. “Jake, I swear to god, tell me right now—”

He whirls around and I'm taken by surprise– ending with one foot on the same step as his and the other one step down. My hand on his shoulder slides down to his chest. “Or else? What will you do?” He challenges, his coffee-like eyes dart from one eye to the other in a mischievous manner. He knows if he presents anything like a challenge, I'd take it.

My back is against the wall and if he takes half a step, I'd pressed between them. “Or, or,” the closeness makes me stutter. Or maybe it's the fact that he's not nervous at all. Or he's just hiding it well. I can't lose to him because of closeness. That's some excuse Thomas would pull.

“I’m listening.”

I gain my posture back, straight my spine but still need to look up to meet his eyes. “Or I’ll go to your room, sleep in that bed and come out when Lilly’s awake and before I’d even begin to explain, she’d go around telling everyone that we slept together.”

Jake has such an infuriating gaze then I can neither look at him nor look away. “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

I really need to keep my fantasies away from my threats. “No. I guess I'm still a little drunk. So please, tell me what I said?” I try softening my voice, looking at him rather than glaring.

He blinks and looks away. “I think you know what you said. That's why you are so desperate to confirm it, that you are standing on my foot.”

I peek down. I am actually standing on his foot. I pull my feet back but end up losing my balance. The hand on Jake’s chest fists his black t-shirt. His hand wraps around my waist holding me in place. I gain my balance back and my face ends up too close to his.

His body is pressed against mine though there's still some sane distance between our heads. I gulp down the urges surfacing all of a sudden. The ones I locked away for weeks. The air is thick with ache and yearning. Our collective wants.

He glances at my lips then back at my eyes. “You said that I forced you to drink because I didn't try to contact you after you rejected me. You said you can't stop thinking about me. And when I was getting you out of the car, you said you wanted to kiss me.”

“Did I?” I foolishly ask, looking at his lips.

“Yes.” He breathes out, nearing me. His grip on my waist tightens.

“And did you do it?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Of course, not.” He answers in a beat.

“Because I was drunk.” I say the reason out loud, leaning in.

He inhales and agrees. “Because you were drunk.”

“Which I am not anymore.” I lean in, merely an inch away from his lips. I don't think either of us is looking anywhere but each other's lips. I don't know if it's yearning for each other or the fact that we have spent almost a month thinking about us, that we no longer waste any time thinking. All thoughts weigh no importance anymore. It's clear what we want.

“Say it.” He whispers, his lips grazing against mine.

I don't. I let the weeks of frustration, guilt, longing release out as our lips touch. There's no point being gentle and slow. I know he knows it and he's acting upon it. I'm pressed against the wall, as his other hand caresses the side of my neck. I fist his t-shirt in my hand again, as the other hand wanders in his hair.

His tongue skims over my lower lip as he arches my neck up. I open my mouth, letting him enjoy my submissive side for a moment. Then, I bit his lip, smiling between the kisses. I can feel his smirk. The hand on my waist slides under my top and pinches my side. I wriggle in his hold.

I pull his hair harder but that only encourages him to kiss me faster. He grabs my hand on his chest and pins it against the wall, slowly sliding it above my head.

We break through only when we hear a door opening. We are both out of breath as we stare at each other, knowing the only wall between us: my decision to move on, has been burned down.

“Get drunk more often. It's always fun listening to you complain about me.” He smiles.

I bite back a smile but I think I'm terribly failing.. “Didn’t I need to be more careful?”

“When I’m around, you can put your guard down.” He affirms.

“That’s sweet but I really need to leave now.” I partly turn and take a step down only for him to wrap his hands around my waist to stop me.

“Yeah, that's not happening.” He says, leading me up the stairs again.

Yeah, that's not happening any time soon.

—The End—

[pacifymebby]

could you possibly do the peaky lads where their s/o who seems “out-there” to others (not weird like crazy and loud) as in doesn’t fully understand social cues, might speak before thinking, not understanding or realizing the vibe of a conversation in time/at all, but ultimately being good-intentioned and tries hard to act “right”? (essentially maybe being someone on the spectrum and if this sounds personal that’s bc it is lol) ty for ur consideration :) 🤍🤍

Okay so, i have adhd and suspected but not diagnosed autism so i based a lot of this on my own experiences but also just wanted to say thank u for the ask i love this its v v cool.

Tommy

🌿Is probably taken back by it at first, his whole thing is being able to predict how other people behave and respond and when he can't do that with you he finds it throws him

🌿 At first... Once he knows he can't ever account for how you'll respond to him or how you'll feel about a situation he stops trying to control things or predict things and kind of realises he just has to be himself, no frills, no tricks, just plain old Tommy

🌿 Theres a moment the first time you meet, where he's talking to you, probably warning you away from the part of the city youre in, trying to put on the dangerous man act, when it becomes apparent that although youre listening to him (he thinks you're listening to him anyway?) your mind is clearly wandering and before he's finished speaking you cut him off with "Well i have to come here... Thats my favourite bakery," you point over his shoulder and he's a little stunned...

"Excuse me?" he looks at you in confusion, wants to ask why you can't just go to a different bakery but senses that if he does you might actually answer him...

🌿He realises pretty early on that any sense of danger you have is outweighed by your own stubborness/ routine. You're going to keep walking past the betting shop to get to your bakery whether he likes it or not, so he can either adjust and make time in his busy schedule to acompany you to the bakery, or he can let you get on with it.

🌿 So you get to see a side of him that he doesn't usually show anyone anymore. Things start out awkward but quickly become very natural once Tommy lets go of his need to control every element of his life.

🌿So other people don't really understand what you've done or how you've done it, but they notice the change in Tommy when youre around and they say that youve done him a lot of good. They think you're really good for him.

🌿 You're nervous to meet his family because you are aware that sometimes other people dont understand you, in a society of rules and set manners, you often come across as rude or a little odd... But Tommy would reassure you, probably by pointing out that youre about to enter a family full of "witches, psychics and murderous thugs" (joking of course) so how can anybody possibly say that you're the odd one...

🌿And when you meet his family he's watching you the whole time, trying to make sure he notices if you get overwhelmed or if you feel uncomfortable.

🌿 When youre nervous your habit of ramblimg very quickly can get worse and when he notices this happening he gives your hand a squeeze and makes sure hes following the conversation so he can answer when youre done... You have a tendency to leave people in stunned silence and he doesnt want you to be embarrassed

🌿 In the same vein, when you miss social cues, don't realise someones made a joke, don't realise you're being spoken to and need to answer, Tommy will gently, subtly nudge you in the right direction or just start to answer for you so that you know you can speak.

🌿 Also if its an important meeting or social event thats happening in which you will be on public display he will go through every step of the evening with you telling you what you should say when you greet certain people, when you should shake hands ect ect. He will explain different peoples personalities and mannerisms too, "When you meet him he'll probably try to charm you, he tells lots of terrible jokes, none of them will be funny but when he laughs you should laugh too, don't worry if you don't understand the joke, they're usually so bad no one else does either..." he will make sure you feel prepared to navigate the evening!!

🌿If anyone makes any sarcastic comments in front of you, theres a chance they will go over your head, but tommy will pick up on it and put whoever said it in their place. Hes probably more protective of you and feels he has to shield you from everyone who doesn't understand you

🌿 There are definitely times when he's been in the middle of a very tense conversation with one of his brothers or in the middle of a family meeting when the vibe is "tense" and you've not really picked up on the seriousness of a conversation, so have asked what to anyone else would be deemed a trivial question... John might smirk, Arthur probably frowns and can't hide his confusion... But tommy would just answer your question plain and simple.

🌿And the rest of the family would be able to tell from the look he gave them not to say a word.

🌿 When someone is flirting with you and you dont realise (because idk about you but unless someone is straight up "do you wanna fuck" i will not notice at all, and if they say something too obvious then i just think its a joke) Tommy will just quietly tell you, he'll be a mixture of proud and possesive, "you do realise what that man wants from you don't you angel?" "What?" "You..." "Oh, well... Thats unfortunate for him i guess?..."

🌿Ultimately the gist of this is that its amusing for everyone else seeing how Tommy has to relax and accept a loss of control when he's around you... And he is forced to open up, umwind and be less uptight because of you too. You definitely bring out the good in him.

Alfie

🐻 Alfie is exceptionally endeared to you, he thinks its cute when he catches you looking lost in conversation, he just wants to put an arm around you, take you under his wing.

🐻 The first time he met you, when he introduced himself to you and you didn't quite catch what he'd said so instead of asking you just hesitated, looking back at him waiting for him to say something else... He pretty much decided from then on that he was going to keep you around, he'd have a protective attitude towards you even if really you don't need protecting.

🐻 He would try to teach you a little about the streets of Camden, try to teach you some street smarts... Because he doesnt like the thought of you out there on your own... But if you weren't a quick learner he wouldn't mind. He'd be very patient with you, and honestly he probably enjoys being that person you look to for help in any situation.

🐻 He will also try to help you prepare for any social events which might be intimidating for you, giving you all the gossip and intel to help you behave accordingly with each person... Unfortunately he will let his own opinions get in the way, he'll refer to a person by his own personal insults "fat boy" or "mummys boy" little nicknames he gives to each person, which you may once or twice have been known to accidently blurt out upon an introduction.

🐻 He likes to catch your eye across a room and feel like he's your protector when he walks over, stands just behind you and picks up the conversation for you.

🐻 He can talk for England can Alfie and i think the first time you interrupt him, mid-sentence this excited smile on your face because you know exactly what he's talking about!

🐻 He'd be amazed the first time you cut him off like that but i think afterawhile, as he got used to it, he'd enjoy it, the two of you would have such long conversations cutting in on one another, talking about ten different things at once

🐻 Hes lowkey impressed by your ability to understand him and follow his train of thought when he's talking complete shit.

🐻 You're the only person who is allowed to interrupt him.

🐻 Ollie is lowkey jealous that you get away with all of your mishaps because he doesnt.

🐻 Alfie doesn't see any problem with the way you are, if other people say you seem odd or "out there" he just shrugs and says "wellllll i like 'em..."

🐻 More than that, Alfie actually enjoys the fact that you often misstep in conversation with others... He likes to see the looks of confusion on other people's faces when you say or do something they aren't expecting. He absolutely won't help them when you catch them off guard with a question they weren't expecting.

🐻 "Well? The little lady asked you a question... Didn't she..."

🐻 He would constantly be battling internally with whether to let you help him with business or not... On the one hand you'd be excellent at unnerving his opponents without even trying... But on the other hand you are so precious to him and he wouldn't want you anywhere near those kinds of people. Especially when you sometimes don't pick up on the vibe of the conversation, you might not realise if you were being threatened...

🐻 One thing he does find amusing but does spark his over protective and possesive nature, is that you never, NEVER notice when someone is flirting with you... You will giggle along, smile and be your friendly self with someone who is really pushing their luck... And alfie will stand there silently furious but also finding it incredibly funny that this man is trying so hard to charm you, is thinking that its working, but it actually isnt at all.

🐻 He'll cough, take your hand in his and raise your palm to his lips as a way of gently showing you his affection and passive aggressively showing the other man that you're taken.

Arthur

🍂 Arthur strikes me as spectrumy himself to be honest so i think the two of you would either get along incredibly well, having these fast conversations only the two of you can understand, or you'd constantly be misunderstanding eachother and getting confused.

🍂 I think he'd find it funny when you behave unexpectedly in front of Tommy, the fact that you really try to be "good" and polite in front of him but still end up mistepping because you don't pick up on the subtext of the conversation...

🍂 Arthur would find that both adorable and reassuring since he often doesnt pick up on those things either.

🍂 Honestly i think you would understand eachother better than anyone else understands either of you. You'd be able to have such easy conversations about the important stuff because neither of you would cut corners or pussy foot around difficult things... Youd just tell eachother everything exactly how it is/feels to you and then you'd have clarity that isn't there in your relationships with others

🍂 I think your inability to match up to societies expectations would marry up well to his "reject/underdog/outcast" thing too. You're both trying your best to be what other people expect you to be but you're both "failing" and through no fault of your own.

🍂 You would be eachothers salvation and sanctuary from a confusing and frustrating world. Instead of feeling like "whats wrong with me?" you'd come to the conclusion that the real question is "what the fucks wrong with everybody else? Why are we the only sane ones?"

🍂 He would be fiercly loyal and protective of you, if other people like his brothers ever made out like you had "a screw loose" or you were a bit "slow" Arthur would defend you with his whole chest (and fists depending on who said what where)

🍂 When he can tell that you're really struggling to follow a conversation he'll speak for both of you, whether he understands the whole vibe of the conversation or not.

🍂 When you are feeling overwhelmed he'll hold your hand in his lap and give it a tight squeeze

🍂 He fucking hates it when people flirt with you and you dont realise. Sometimes he gets frustrated with you but most of the time his anger is directed at the men.

John

🌼 Adhd king amirite <3

🌼 Who is actually interrupting who here? What are you even talking about anymore?

🌼 You and john would definitely be thick as theives, almost telepathic because you just get eachother in that way that only two neurodivergents can?

🌼 You'd balance eachother out as well, you'd be the laid back half to his excited child chaos.

🌼 Every time you "fucked up" in conversation this man would have your back, doubling down on whatever you said, always taking your side. He'd be fiercly loyal to you and you to him.

🌼 I think he'd make it even harder to concentrate on conversations though, you would be trying hard to listen in a family meeting and John would be whispering to you, knowing he finds it easy to distract you... So if you're missing the vibe of serious conversations its not your fault, its just you have the class clown sitting next to you and you're his favourite person so

🌼 I think you and John would struggle at first when it comes to emotional conversations. You know that bit in Wednesday when her love interest says "You're giving me all these signals Wednesday..." and like, as far as she's concerned she hasnt been giving any signals at all. I feel like at first thats how it would be... He'd be making it obvious how much he likes you... Cheesy flirting, real teenage boy flirting and you'd just think it was a joke IF you noticed it at all

🌼 And one day he'd just be like "y/n what the fucks going on here do you like me or not?"

🌼 "Well of course i like you John, i wouldnt spend all this time with you if i didn't like you..."

🌼 "You know i dont mean it like that y/n..."

🌼 "Like what?"

🌼 Basically you just being kind of clueless that he likes you and him just desperately trying to make it more and more obvious... But then when he finally cracks and says it to you plain and simple, you answer him plain and simple and he feels like a fool for not just talking to you...

🌼 And then when you are together it would be this learning curve for him, that he can't just say serious things in a jokey way because you won't know hes really being serious.

🌼 He has to learn to be a bit less childish sometimes... Only sometimes... Other times you behave like children together much to everybody elses frustration.

🌼 Together you for sure spell trouble and he is definitely ecstatic every time you cut Tommy off or ask him an unexpected question.

🌼 Finds it funny when you don't realise other people are hitting on you, but he does worry it will get you into trouble, that you'll mistake someone being sleazy with you for someone being friendly, so he keeps a close eye on you when youre out, even when youre not out with him

Bonnie

🍀 He's definitely been into you for way longer than you realise... He's been trying to give you signals for so long but they're all so subtle that you don't pick up on them at all

🍀 You're always referring to him as your best friend. You once told someone he was "like a brother" to you.

🍀 He's constantly suffering real teenage angst and yearning for you

🍀 Until one day you blurt it out in conversation and take him by surprise...

🍀 "I said something really stupid and I'm sorry Bonnie!" you'd say in the middle of his sentence about something totally different. Youd be awkward about it, fiddling with your shirt or hair, "I didn't mean to say you were like my brother... You're not that at all actually... Actually i think you're..." he'd be able to see that you are struggling with it but

🍀 He doesnt want to push you or talk over you so he just has to wait it out...

🍀 "think I'm what dove?" he'd be hopeful but not wanting to get his hopes up, because he's used to how unpredictable you can be sometimes, he knows you might not be about to say what he wants you to

🍀 "Actually i think... I really um.. You know..." he'd chuckle at that, biting back a smile as he plays with your fingers, definitely would enjoy teasing you when you steuggle for words/to say the right thing.

🍀 When you finally tell him he'd be so happy, he wouldnt even care that it had taken so long, he'd just be glad you finally understood eachothers feelings.

🍀 He'd be very supportive of you, he'd never let you feel embarrassed or guilty/ashamed if you felt like you'd messed up in conversation

🍀 Similar to Tommy hed make jokes at his family's expense like "You're worried you're the odd one here? Really little dove?"

🍀 Always telling you you're perfect and that he loves you, you're never going to feel like you're not good enough

🍀 Will defend you from any teasing that may come your way

🍀When youre watching him fight you don't hold back when you shout encouragement. You don't really understand when hes throwing the fight unless he spells it out to you first, so sometimes you won't realise and you'll be be shouting at him to "hit back, why aren't you fucking hitting him bon?"

🍀So he learns to warn you and tell you exactly how a fight is supposed to go before it starts. He's lowkey worried youll get him caught!

🍀Bonnie laughs it off when other people flirt with you because "well good luck to em i say, took you bloody years to notice me didn't it," but he does make a point of holding your hand in public, kissing you in public.

🍀 His favourite thing is that the idea of "manners" doesn't hold you back a lot of the time, if the other boys are being cheeky to you you wont hesitate to put them in their place and its always cutting and brutal, more so because you often don't intend for it to be.

Isaiah

🐀Doesn't have the trouble of you not realising he likes you because he is actually straight up with you from the very beginning. "I think me and you would make a good couple what do you say y/n..." "I don't know you..." "Well thats what a dates for... What do you say? I'll pick you up at 7?"

🐀Because hes so straightforward with you, you understand eachother quickly and you are able to trust him very quickly too.

🐀You'd never be confused about where you stand with Isaiah because he always says things simple and truthful and doesn't try to hide or sweeten things for you

🐀Still it takes him by surprise one day when he tries to, he's talking about a job he has to do for tommy, and he's not saying it but you know its dangerous... You turn to him cutting him off mid sentence, "so he wants you to kill them for him? How are you going to do it?"

🐀The way you offer up advice on killing them/disposing of the body so he won't get caught... You just want to make sure he doesn't get caught so that he will be safe, you don't really realise how removed and heartless you sound... When he points it out he says it with an affectionate smirk but you just shrug

🐀"well i just don't want you to get hurt... If i can help you to be safe why wouldn't i? How is that heartless?" he'd be forced to accept that youre right actually, its hardly heartless to care about him.

🐀He would be over protective of you around the others, if other peaky boys looked at you for too long, or tried to tease you, flirting with you and then snickering about the fact you don't seem to realise that they are... Isaiah would put them in their place immediately, wouldn't hesitste to hit them around the back of the head with his cap, shaking his head at them and talking down to them about how they behave like fucking children

🐀When you're worried about messing up in front of people he will be encouraging but in a "so what?" kind of way. He has had to spend his whole life fighting to be respected in the wake of a society that looks down on him for who he is, and his attitude to that is "fuck em" thats what he'll say to you.

🐀"But Isaiah what if i do something wrong and they think I'm..." "who gives a fuck what they think of you love, if you spend your whole life worrying about what the likes of them think about you you'll never be happy, they'll never welcome you with open arms so fuck em... You're fuckin perfect right, a fuckin star... Fuck em... "

🐀Expect lots of these angsty little pep talks.

Michael

☘️ Cares about you alot and can empathise with your embarrassment when you realise you've messed up in conversation by speaking too soon or saying something that isn't exactly relevent at the wrong time... He feels like he can feel it for you

☘️ And his response to this is to try and make sure this happens as little as possible... He doesnt want to make you feel bad about it because he knows you try your best and you just can't help it... But he also hates to see you embarrassed or being laughed at by others so he tries his best to help you get by in social situations

☘️He will write out step by step notes on conversing with certain people (like his cousin tommy who intimidates you) and if you're nervous about something like a job interview or just meeting someone important, then he will let you practice and rehearse the conversation with you too

☘️ He's very supportive in this way, and he'll never leave you to fend for yourself in any situation he doesn't 100% know you'll be accepted in

☘️ He will leave you on your own with Pol though, because he knows she will accept you for everything you are.

☘️ He does get frustrated sometimes when you cut him off but only when he's trying to talk to you about something serious (like your own personal safety) he's constantly reminding you to concentrate or listen to him

☘️ However when you're just talking about things together he likes to let you cut him off and start rambling about something, he loves how your face lights up when something interests you, or how you concentrate when you're explaining a new idea to someone. He could listen to you talk for hours and hours.

☘️ And when you are feeling confident in a social situation michael enjoys being a silent spectator just sitting back and watching you thrive. If you get worried afterwards that you missed the vibe of the conversation or you talked too much he'll shake his head "darlin you were the most interesting person at the table, if you ask me they should have only let you speak, we could all have enjoyed listening to you even longer..."

☘️ He warns his family in advance, and warns tommy especially because he wants tommy to be patient with you and will not tolerate anyone snapping at you or humiliating you.

☘️Really i think, michael was raised in a loving but judgemental family until he found his real mum, i think those prejudices would sometimes sneak up on him, so perhaps at first he would be concious of your differences, however he also knows that those exact prejudices are what meant he was taken from him real mum, they're hnjust and they target good people...so rather than hold those prejudices himself he would be extra concious of protecting you from other people who might hold them

☘️ He won't let anyone say a bad word about you ever, sometimes you'll actually have to be the one to say "calm down michael, he was just joking..."

I hope you like these and that they were what you were wanting, they've taken me a long time because i wanted to get them right i guess!!!

[yoinkschief]

Do you think Tom had to learn how to be expressive? He’s purposefully animated to move around a little more bc yknow no eyes. This goes for his general eye movements too; which also move more to show emotion

I'm so glad you asked, dear Anon

I'd like to introduce you to my

Tom is Autistic Agenda™

As someone who is autistic I find myself relating to Tom a lot in that aspect, where my face is usually described as "Resting Bitch Face" or constantly looking "bored", which neither are true, it usually just means I'm relaxed/interested/focused on something

However when it does come to emotions I do tend to exaggerate them, I remember when I was younger trying to mimic the expressiveness of cartoon and anime characters because they were always drawn with such exaggerated expressions

I don't know if my expressions come off as exaggerated though, I feel as though they are because I have to put such manual effort into them, but I realize that sometimes it doesn't come off that way and my expressions still remain subtler than intended

It can totally be "it's just the eyes" things, but I'm my heart and desire to relate to characters I enjoy I like seeing him have some reflection of myself in him but it also just makes sense with him having such a monotone voice and then such an exaggerated one moments later, the drastic changes can easily be akin to a lack of understanding the projection of emotions (NOT A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING THE EMOTION ITSELF, JUST HOW IT PRESENTS ON THE BODY) as it also helps explain his bluntness

Yeah he's an asshole, but he's an asshole with an understanding that his face doesn't always show how he's feeling so he says it and why

He's not an asshole because he's autistic, he's an asshole because he doesn't care to phrase things in a way other than "I'm right you're wrong, stop that"

Again, another thing stemming from autism: a strong sense of justice, whether that justice be "just" or not, he believes it so he believes it strongly

(in an animation perspective he's animated to have exaggerated movements to further get across his emotions - facial features are a very important part of body language and language in general so to make up for a lack of expressive eyes they rely on other parts of the body. This is shown in theater where because there are audience members so far from the stage you have to over exaggerate your movements so even they can understand what tone you're using. In animation this can be seen with Tom L//ockwood from Cloudy with a Chance of M//eatballs, D//aisuke J//igen from L//upin III, and I suppose I'll count G//ojo from J//ujitsu K//aisen, though tbh that has less to do with his eyes being obscured and more him being a weird little critter. But these characters tend to over exaggerate their actions and tone in their voice to get across what they mean because the lack of eyes causes them to struggle in body language)

[11rosebunny]

Bofurin + shishitoren boys’ ideal partners? 🥺

Their ideal partners (BOFURIN + SHISHITOREN)

Haruka Sakura

A girl who is patient.

Sakura is known for his shy outbursts for anything that is closely related to anything in the romance. To add on, his lack of communication skills when he was younger came back to put a strain on his social life in his teenage years, so when it comes to finding a love life, he genuinely needs someone who is patient and willingly listen to his needs and requests.

When it comes to looks, he prefers more of a girl around his height, purely because he hates feeling inferior about his height. If you so happen to be taller than him, he has to suck it up.

Hajime Umemiya

A girl who respects everyone.

Something big on his preferences for women has to be someone that withstands practically everyone, even if they come across someone that disrespects them. The reasoning behind his outrageous input for girls he tends to put interest in is because he finds it important for a woman to balance her emotions. If he finds someone that continues to victimize themselves while being progressively perpetrating others, he can not stand that type of behaviour.

A second reason is because he wants them to be just as independent as himself while at the same time, treat him with more affection than others.

Looks don't exactly play a big role in his interests, even so, he still prefers women that are kept clean and pretty.

Toma Hiragi

Shy girls.

As much as he'd hate to admit, he finds timid, scared girls to be quite attractive. This hard core punk generally falls into the category of egotistical ballsacks that feed off of seeing a girl get embarrassed or shy around them, but in a respectful way. Usually, whenever he's come across the shyer type of women, he finds them to be more toned down, quiet, and deeply misunderstood just because they keep to themselves. He's the type of person to want to break those types of girls out of their shells, because deep down, he has a decent understanding that shy girls tend to be the nicest person anyone could meet in their entire lives.

He has a thing for girls with glasses which even adds on to his accusations of liking shy girls.

Ren Kaji

Strong-minded girls.

This boy loves the tangents and arguments whenever he's arguing with a hot-headed girl that's equally as heated as him. He thrives off of the fights and competitions with the other woman that still manages to somehow keep hot on his tail. As much as he hates the feeling, it's one of the very few things that gets him going to continue to become even better.

Girls with long hair fall into his types of preferences.

Taiga Tsugeura

Cheeky, cute girls.

He loves nothing more than a girl who loves doing girly things, because for him, he's a real man and would also be accompanying with you doing those girly things. If you're shopping he helps you pick out a dress. He'll even pay for your nails, buy you pink stuff, and even encourages you to wear different types of make-up sometimes. He's aware of how cheeky girls tend to act, and he really enjoys it too. He loves the way they blabber about utter nonsense that probably has no meaning to life or the way they get excited over small things like cats and sweet cakes.

Long eye lashes and plump lips are one of his top favourites in girls when it comes to features.

Mitsuki Kiryu

Academically smart girls.

He doesn't know the exact reason behind why he finds it attractive, but seeing a woman care a lot about her future and her next whereabouts makes him very intrigued. One of his deepest fears is being with someone that ties him down in life, especially how at any given moment, it could be ruined in a second. Thus, he primarily goes for girls that like to study and get into controversies that lead her to go into a spiral. He finds it amusing.

He likes wispy bangs and long noses. What an odd boy!

Hayato Suo

Energetic girls.

Nothing makes him more happier than seeing others happy. Knowing how monotone he could be, it makes him feel special whenever energetic people approach him and grow a bond. Hence why, when it comes to a girl showing her true personality knowing he's a quiet person, it makes him feel warm inside that someone like that would even give him a chance. He likes it when they drag him everywhere, try new things with him, and even make him go out of his own comfort zone.

He doesn't focus on looks, if you have short or long hair, glasses or none, taller or shorter, as long as you're fairly pretty, he's okay with anything.

Jo Togame

A girl who smiles a lot.

When it comes to personality, he actually does not mind whether or not if it's extraordinary or toned down, the only requirement is you can't be an asshole. He doesn't mix well with people who think too highly of themselves. Because he's not very picky and gives everyone a shot, something that really gets him going, is if a girl tends to smile a lot. It makes him want to punch holes if he sees your pearly whites.

Surprisingly, he likes tall girls. Can't be taller than him though, sorry.

Tomiyama Choji

Funny girls.

When meeting people that are interested in him, he usually finds boredom and loses lack of interest rather quickly because of his short attention span. So if a girl manages to catch his attention, 9 times out 10, it's because he heard something than made him caught off guard with a sudden burst of laughter. He loves spending his time chatting about random shananigans, so when meeting someone similar to him that can withstand his yapping and keep interested in the conversation, he can go on for hours just talking to you alone.

He finds petite girls to be cute, he doesn't really care for any of the curves or stretch marks of any sort. Bonus points if you have acne or freckles.

[xxswagcorexx]

please may I have some fic recs? mainly ones that will have me kicking my feet and giggling- nothing too serious but a light read: the vibes of stand partners by eternal kind of.

hi! i haven't read stand partners yet but i skimmed through the tags and here are some ones i like/hit the same vibe :) it is very long though </3

Pretty Things by ros_is_writing

Laying facedown on the bed was his partner Ashswag, the only other person with keys to Red’s apartment. When he heard Red come into the room he rolled over onto his back and sat up, dark braid flipping over his shoulder at the change of gravity. “Welcome home,” Ash grinned, eyes crinkling in laughter. “This is my house,” Red noted. He put a hand on his hip and looked at Ash over his sunglasses, a joking form of their normal rivalry. “Yeah, but I was here first,” Ash rolled his eyes and scooted off the bed. He casually strolled across the room like he wasn’t the highlight of Red’s day and dropped a kiss into his hair.

Red sees an ostrich by Anonymous

“I don’t think you were smiling this much even when we got married.” “Ash, there wasn't ostriches at our wedding.” “You're allergic to ostriches.” Swagdoons fluff (OOC)

(oh,) to be a comfort by Felix_J

"It is good here, people say." Ash mutters. The words tug at his throat, and it's a bit hard to breathe. He'll manage. "Good place to take your partner." "Says Josh?" Red quirks an eyebrow. Moves his other hand, then, the one that's free, to rest on his knee, and it's where he must register the metal against the palm. Ash stares off silently. He thinks they say not to look at the sun for a reason, because it's too beautiful as it bleeds red into the ocean. But hey, the S.U.N. is the new sun, so they are, and really, the tiny reflections of it in Red's eyes when he hangs his head feel way more important. Just... not easier, to look at. He blinks the tears off. Unlike someone, he doesn't have sunglasses, so that he can admit. "Says Josh." He agrees quietly.

away from the winds by Anonymous

Ash, because he’s a bastard and has never heard of a healthy sleep schedule, shows up at his doorstep at six on the dot. He’s sitting in the kitchen when Red finally stumbles downstairs, spinning the key Red gave him months ago around his fingers with a shit-eating grin on his face.

after closing time by cherubium

after a busy day at the casino, the casino quartet decide to rest.

overdosed on sugar and holiday high by Anonymous

“Morning Ash,” Red greets, supported with a small wave. And as an afterthought, Red adds, “Merry Christmas.” Because he’s soft like that, then to balance the statement, he continues, “Can’t believe you’re still working during the holidays like some capitalist contributing to society.“

Counting Stars by Dreamshadow2

Lifesteal can be extremely dangerous at times. Usually, you can never relax. But some days, when things get a bit too much, you just need some time to relax, to be yourself. Or: ScamDuo stargazing, tons of fluff, can be read as platonic or romantic

(hello) my old heart by Anonymous

What he doesn’t ask is why Ash chooses, over and over, to step through that door, through Lifesteal and Earthbound and the wastelands of an apocalypse. The void knows how many other worlds they’ve followed each other through without a second thought.

sir thats my emotional support human by oneirogen

god!ash sleeping while hugging red to his chest like an oversized plushie. send post

something stupid by starbamnk

'I love you.' Ash had to stop himself from choking. That's not how they were here. It ached, but that wasn't how things were.

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ALSO i usually don't rec my own fics but i've written so much fluff that i figured i should share it with you too anon . also willow swagcore author reveal too i guess LOL

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fallin' in love

Ash and Red go to a pumpkin patch on their day off.

it’s no big deal (that i love you)

Sometimes Ash understands people when they call him and Red a couple. They are partners, in a sense, but not in that way. After all, when you’ve spent so long as enemies, survivalists, comrades, even, you notice a lot about the other person. From tracking down Red’s movements to stealing that stupid bell from Capital City, to pressing down on wounds and praying it didn’t get infected, they’ve been through everything. Been through the happy, sad, and angry tears together, and everything else in-between. But of course, everything they did had to be a business deal—a private agreement between just both of them. or: ashswag has some thoughts about red while they fall asleep together (ft. swagdoons qpr)

i'd duet again

Neither of them remembers when their morning ritual started, but in the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t matter. The fact is that Red would be the one to wake up first, get ready, start the coffee machine for Ash, and start playing his guitar in the garden. or: ash and red's morning duet

homemade comforts

If Red was being honest, he reveled in moments like this. Moments when Ash and he were far away from all of the violence, all of the responsibilities, and away from any prying eyes around them. Just Ash and Red, cooking together in their shitty little kitchenette that only fits two people.

four of a kind

Ash, Branzy, Clown, and Red close up the casino for the week.

best friends

As they ran back through the streets, they let the rain pour down on them, because they were already drenched. They cackled like madmen throughout it all and in that moment, both of them knew that they had something special. And they were going to get such a bad cold after this. or: how red and ash meet, and how they become friends

temporal

while the world melts around them, ash and red spend the night dancing. that's the fic.

jenga tower

"Dude-" Ash says through a wheezed breath, "Do you think this a little much?" Clown hums, "Mmm, no. I think you're just fineee." "Exactly," Red chimes in, definitely not helping the 'hey wouldn't it be funny if we all laid on Ash?' cause. or: casino quartet turn into a human jenga tower. for roses and smoke week, free day

curtains

It's 7pm, and Ash and Red are exhausted after a 12 hour day of moving. Ends up they forgot the fucking curtains.