#sometimes you can drop something that you made it a goal/promise to do

[lord-squiggletits]

Idk who needs to hear this, but it's perfectly fine for you to pick up or drop your interests, hobbies, goals, etc throughout the years and it doesn't make you a quitter or mean that you're never going to do that thing again after you drop it. It just means that your interest wanes and waxes and nothing is ever permanent. You can always pick up something you love again even if it's been a while since you've done/practiced/progressed in it. And arguably you will burn yourself out faster trying to do 20 hobbies at once than you will if you just let yourself focus on a couple at a time.

[barcaatthemoon]

new friend || ingrid engen x child!reader ||

your meet your mom's new friend, maria.

your mom ran around the house frantically trying to tidy things up. most of your toys had to be put back in your room except for the little figures that you were actively playing with. your mom had told you that morning that she was having a friend over, someone important that she wanted you to meet. you knew that it wasn't frido or caro because she didn't get like this when they visited. this had to be a new friend, someone from your mom's new team.

"okay, i think that everything is ready," your mom said as she looked around the house. she had started something for you to eat, unsure of whether you'd like the spanish food her friend was bringing. the food was different here in a lot of ways. it had different taste, textures, and overall flavors. your mom told you that you didn't have to try everything right away, but almost every single day came a new food or snack.

"will you play with me?" you asked softly. your mom was about to sit on the couch and wait for mapi, but playing with you made her feel a lot calmer. ingrid sat with you on the floor, already knowing what game you were playing with the handful of animal figures on the floor. as much fun as you were having, your game was cut short by the knock on your door.

"maria, hi," your mother greeted. you doubted that you could have seen past your mother, so you didn't even look up from your game.

"hola ingrid," the mystery woman said. you should have expected for her to be spanish, almost everybody new was. slightly deflated, you dropped your toys, knowing that you wouldn't be able to speak with the stranger. you were good with your norweigan and german since you had been born and raised in those areas. english was still very new to you, and you hadn't even begun any of your spanish lessons yet.

"little lamb, do you want to say hello to mapi?" ingrid asked as she stepped aside. you looked up at the woman, who you thought looked a little scary. she was covered in pictures, like the bad guys in your papa and uncle's action movies. ingrid, noticing your slight discomfort, moved to scoop you up into her arms. you were a nervous child, but being in your mom's arms made you feel invincible. "she's nice, i promise. we play together at barcelona, she helps protect the goal. tonight, we're going to eat dinner together and hang out."

"like a playdate?" you asked.

"yeah, like a playdate," ingrid confirmed. you liked playdates, but all the kids here spoke spanish, so you couldn't have them anymore. sometimes, ingrid tried to arrange little trips to germany, but there hadn't been a break long enough for that yet. you missed your friends back at wolfsburg, barcelona wasn't nearly as fun for you.

you got the sense that it wasn't a playdate for you. your mom let you down, but instead of going back to your animals, you went to the coloring book on the coffee table. you had to be very careful as you colored. if you got colors on the table, you'd have to go back to the dining room table again. out of the corner of your eye, you could see your mom take maria to the kitchen.

it wasn't an overly long time that they were away from you. maria sat on the couch a little ways away from you while your mom sat right in front of you. you could smell your food, and it made your stomach growl with anticipation. it had been quite some time since she had made your special noodles for you, but since you were being brave and meeting a new person, your mom decided you had earned a plate of them.

"i need you to wash up and get your seat at the table," she said as she leaned down. you set your crayon back in the box and raced off to the bathroom. "hopefully she's a bit more chatty after dinner."

"it's good that she doesn't talk to strangers, it means she's smart," maria reasoned. ingrid had your plate set out as you came toddling back into the room carrying your booster seat. "can i sit here?"

"as long as frido isn't coming. that's frido's seat when she comes," you told maria. the spanish woman nodded as she slipped into the seat next to you. you were digging into your noodles without a care in the world as your mom returned with plates for her and mapi. "is there dessert?"

"focus on your food," ingrid told you. you huffed and pushed some of the noodles around on your plate. "(y/n), eat your pasta. you've been so excited about it all week."

"can we go out for ice cream after dinner?" you asked. there was an ice cream shop near your building that you had been begging to go in for weeks. each time, your mom brushed it off telling you that you could go later. now was definitely later to when you had asked, so there was no reason you couldn't go.

"how about this, if you can finish that plate, i'll buy you ice cream. sprinkles if you eat two." mapi placed her hand out for you to shake, and without hesitation, you shook it. ingrid looked impressed as you started eating with enthusiasm. you knew the rules about food, so you didn't go too fast. the last thing you wanted was to choke before you got to eat your ice cream.

"impressive," ingrid mouthed across the table at maria. ingrid had always been scared that you were underweight. you were an engen, and that meant you were thin and lanky. other kids seemed to hold weight better than you did, the idea of sitting and eating meals was a bit difficult for you. with maria there, you were sitting still and eating for the hope of getting an ice cream with sprinkles.

"come on, we have to play for 30 minutes before we can get dessert," you said, tugging on maria's sleeve a little. your mom started to chuckle as maria just stared at you in confusion. "come on, i'll show you how to play farms."

"lamb, english. maria doesn't speak like we do," ingrid reminded you. sighing, you tried to reiterate yourself in english, but the translation didn't come so easily. "she wants you to play farm with her while we wait for dinner to settle."

"oh, okay," maria said. she let you take her to the living room where your animals were set up. you explained it with ingrid's help and the three of you played farm together. maria wasn't very good at it, but truthfully, caro and guro were the only ones who were really good at playing farm with you.

as excited as you had been about ice cream, you ended up falling asleep on the floor while you played. ingrid tucked you into your bed and made sure to keep your nightlight on. when she came back, maria was sitting on the couch scrolling on her phone. ingrid smiled as she settled next to maria, who immediately wrapped her arm around ingrid's shoulders.

"that went very well, she likes you a lot. and i think she ate enough to sleep through the night," ingrid said. "it will take a bit of time, but i think she can handle knowing that we're dating."

"i owe her ice cream," maria said. ingrid laughed at that, not really surprised that maria was hung up on that. "do you think we could go after training tomorrow? you could bring her, then i can gloat to frido that i have a new best friend."

"and promptly get your heart broken when she runs to caro instead of you? just don't take it personally, she just met you," ingrid warned. "she likes you, but i'm pretty sure caro is her favorite over me."

[apomaro-mellow]

Steve’s parents are in a cult and sacrifice him for their own gains. Yall can thank @whoevenknowsdude for giving me the motivation not to give up on this version.

The party was going on as usual. Steve had been to many of them before. The earliest he remembered was being five and led around by his mother’s hand, then eventually being handed off to a nanny for the rest of the evening. It was always some sort of parade. As a young child, he was the cute baby version of his father. Something for the women to coo at.

Around 11 he was a growing lad who was expected to cause a little trouble. Then at 14 he was a young man with a promising future. 

Growing up, there was one part he was always dreading. The point where people tried to set him up with their daughters, or granddaughters, or nieces. He heard pieces of such transactions all the time. 

‘Oh you must meet my daughter.’ 

‘You know Celia is about your age...’ 

‘So have you got a girlfriend?’

Steve caught glimpses of the older boys either politely rebuffing or ending up engaged with someone. This was a very insular crowd, he knew that. Still, he hoped he’d have something resembling a choice when the time came.

And yet, as he got older, no one rushed to introduce him to anyone. It confused him to no end. He had no trouble attracting girls at school and all of his parents’ friends thought he was charming. He came from good stock. Why did no one want him to marry their daughter?

He tried not to feel so offended by it. But it was just so bizarre. 

But back to tonight. It was going like it always did. Steve spent most of it by his parents’ sides, only occasionally going off on his own. He made nice conversation, had a drink or two, despite being nineteen, and kept the Harrington name good and golden.

As the hour got late though, it got to the point where most of the men split off to have cigars. Steve was usually excused at this point but this time his father put a hand on his shoulder and led him to the next room. He took part in more conversation about his prospects (not going to school but who needed to when he was planning on succeeding his father) and drank some brandy.

“Steve, it’s time we discussed your future”, his father said, letting out a puff of cigar smoke.

“What about it...exactly?”, Steve asked.

“That sometimes we must defer to a higher power.”

“....Right...”

“Steven”, one of the other men started. “You ever take one for the team?”

“Yeah, plenty of times. But what are you guys talking about what’s going on?”, Steve asked.

“Come with me, son.”

Steve got up and followed his father. The other men came along down the stairs into the basement of the clubhouse. But then it went deeper.

“History is filled with ambitious figures, Steve. People who did whatever it took to reach their goals. Tonight it’s up to you to take us even higher.”

“Up to me? What do you want me to do?”

They came to the bottom of the stairs. His mother was already waiting, along with the other women. There was a large stone slab with restraints on it and Steve felt his stomach drop at the implication. But he didn’t want to believe it. It was too crazy.

“Mom, Dad...what are we doing here?”

“The higher power we worship will give us fortune beyond what we could dream of”, his father said. “But everything has its price.”

Before Steve could utter another question, he felt hands on him, gripping and pushing him towards the slab. He struggled and screamed for both of his parents. For some kind of explanation. For something that made sense. But he could feel his sanity slipping as they got him on the altar and tied his limbs down.

Lawrence, 50, with an unconvincing hairpiece stood over him. Steve never liked Lawrence. He always looked at him weird and his touches lingered like he was inspecting a piece of meat.

He was doing it now, trailing a hand up his tied up arm.

“I can’t thank you enough for your sacrifice, Steven. And your parents for bringing up such good stock. I have no doubt he will be pleased with you.”

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on but there’s no way you’re going to kill me for-for what? More money?”

His mother came into view, her expression mournful and Steve wanted to vomit.

“Steve, my love, we won’t be killing you. We could never do that. We just need a bit of your blood. After that....well after that....”

“Our lord will do what he wants with you. And with their lot I can only imagine he will want to devour your soul”, his father finished.

“So you are killing me.”

“We won’t be dealing the killing blow”, his father said. “And who is to say you won’t survive?”

Steve took a deep breath through his nose. This was insane. But it seemed like they at least didn’t plan to put a stake through his heart. He’d lose a bit of blood, they’d probably chant, and then when their demon lord didn’t show up, he could get a shower and then maybe disown his parents.

That didn’t make this situation any less shitty though.

Then someone ripped open his jacket and shirt, exposing his chest. Both of his parents were given knives. The knowledge that they didn’t intend to kill him quell that instinctual fear. Steve had always been a good kid. But sometimes good wasn’t enough. Sometimes he wondered if his parents regretted having him. So his current view wasn’t helping at all in that regard.

They both cut a slit right in the center of his palms and he hissed. They then took his blood and drew a symbol on his stomach. 

There was indeed chanting but between the alcohol, his bleeding hands, and the general delirium, Steve couldn’t make it out. God, he just wanted this to be over. He just wanted normal parents who didn’t sacrifice their own son to the devil.  He wanted a lot of things but it seemed like life would disappoint him one last time.

“Whoa! You’ve got a real party going on here”, a voice said, coming down the stairs.

“Who the hell are you?”, one of the chanters demanded.

Steve craned his neck to see....some guy. It was just some guy, in a black tank top and ripped jeans.

“Who? Me?”, he came to the bottom of the steps and looked around. “Was I not summoned? I thought I heard my name.”

“Someone get this fool out of here!”

“Oh, I see what the issue is. I’m not in the proper attire. My bad.” He took a few more steps forward, right into the range of the men who had advanced on him. Then flames erupted from his body, burning them in an instant. When the fire dissipated, Steve let out a gasp and started to actually pull against his restraints.

This was real! Fuck this was real! A real demon with horns and claws and fangs and shit-were those wings?! He had to get out of here, even if that meant ripping his hands and feet off to escape.

Turned out that was the wrong move. In seconds, the demon crossed the room on all fours and climbed atop the slab to hover over Steve.

“My lord”, Steve’s father said in an impressively even tone. “We offer you our greatest sacrifice-” He was cut off with a deep growl, one that Steve felt in his bones, being this close.

“You...haven’t...sacrificed....anything.” The demon turned its gaze to Steve, lying under him. “But you still have so much to give.” He touched a clawed hand to Steve’s stomach where the bloody symbol was. “Will you give it to me?”

Steve let out a breath. He was going to die. He was going to die and what did he have to show for it? Actually....what did he have to show for it if he lived tonight? Maybe it would be painless, this soul sucking. He just wanted to be done.

“Just take it”, Steve said. “Take whatever you want.”

The demon laughed darkly. “I always do.” He smeared a clawed hand against Steve’s torso, messing up what was drawn there. He sniffed his hand and let out a sigh. 

“Steve!”, his mother shrieked and he wondered if she had just realized what she was giving him up for.

“They spilt your blood for their own gains. Now to me, that doesn’t seem fair”, the demon said. “Don’t you think they should have to give something up? Don’t you want them dead?”

Steve dared to look the demon in his face. The eyes betrayed nothing. Just a blank, red void. But there was something about his expression anyway. Something in the quirk of his lip, the tilt of his head. Steve wondered if he actually would kill everyone in this room if he asked. As for himself, well, despite everything Steve couldn’t ask that of him. He really only wanted one thing and this might be his single chance to voice it out loud.

“I just want to be free.”

“Now see here”, Lawrence said, wagging a finger. “We have been your loyal servants. Our wishes-cckhk!”

He was cut off when the demon’s tail wrapped around his neck, dragging him closer. The demon brought him over until they were eye to eye.

“I would go ahead and count the blessings I already have. You all get to live another day.” He dropped Lawrence, ignoring his gasps for breath as he looked back down at Steve. “And you’re coming with me.”

Flames swirled around them but Steve didn’t feel any heat. Just a rush of warm wind as his restraints disappeared. The light got too bright though and he closed his eyes. When he no longer felt the light behind them, he opened them up, expecting the fires of hell, or a dark abyss of a pit. Maybe even some combination of the two.

Instead he found that he was in a….cramped apartment. The demon was back to the tank top and jeans and Steve wondered if someone had slipped something into a drink.

“You live here?”

The demon stuck his hands in his back pockets. “Whenever I come topside, yeah. And for the time being, so do you.”

“Me?”

“Don’t tell me you wanna go back to those assholes. Not after they-” He stopped speaking and his nostrils flared. Then he looked down.

Steve followed his gaze and saw that his hands were dripping blood onto the floor. “Ah, shit, sorry I-” He was about to wipe it on his ruined shirt when the demon grabbed a wrist, freezing him in place. His words were caught in his throat when the demon took a long sniff at the blood still slowly dripping out of his palm. He looked Steve in the eye as he slowly licked it clean. When the blood was gone, Steve saw his hand was completely healed.

The demon took his other hand and did the same, but somehow went even slower. The licks were punctuated with what could have been open mouth kisses but Steve wasn’t sure. Either the demon was making out with his hand or trying to eat him with little success.

When that one was finished, the demon looked at him and Steve was taken with how blown his eyes were. Like Steve’s blood was top shelf.

“B-buy a guy dinner first, huh?”

The demon came back into himself and took a step back, releasing Steve’s hand. “Yeah, sorry it’s just-yeah…” He cleared his throat and then turned, going deeper into the apartment. “So my home is your home, until you figure out exactly what you wanna do. Um, bathroom’s over there I’m sure you wanna get the rest of that blood off.”

He looked almost nervous to have Steve here. And the absurdity of that made Steve let out a chuckle. And then everything came crashing down on him and he started to laugh in earnest. The demon’s anxious stance just made more laughter bubble forth. What the fuck had his life become?

“Are you okay?”

“I just realized why none of them wanted me to date their daughters.” Steve pushed his hair out of his face. “They knew they’d be giving me to you.” As he laughed the tears started to fall. The demon looked even more shocked but then he came over and wrapped his arms around Steve.

“I don’t know why I’m laughing. Or why I’m crying.”

“Because it’s fucked up man. Like hilariously fucked up. And sometimes you gotta laugh about that crap.” The demon pulled away just enough to look Steve in the eye. “But you’re better than what you just left behind. You proved that by letting them live.”

Steve wiped at his eyes. “Well you already burned a couple of them. Wait, you killed them!”

“Collateral damage when I let my flames loose. I don’t like being touched.” He seemed to realize he was doing just that and raised his hands in the air before taking two steps away from Steve.

“I don’t even know your name. And you would’ve actually killed them for me?”

“Oh I go by Eddie nowadays.” He turned and looked like he was trying to make himself busy by picking things up and putting them down.

“Eddie? Just Eddie?”

“Short for Edifice. Um, did you want that shower?”

“I….” Steve still had questions. But he felt barely functioning right now. Like if he got one more bit of information his brain would explode.

“Steve….You’re free now. That was what you asked for.” The demon, no, Eddie, his name was Eddie, was smiling at him.

“I want….to go to sleep.”

Eddie started to walk away and Steve followed. He led him to a room where the bed took up most of the space.

“It’s yours for tonight. And tomorrow, well it’s all up to you now.”

Steve collapsed against the bed. He vaguely registered his shoes being taken off but soon fell into oblivion.

Part 2

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Try Me Part 3/6

Summary - A six part series where reader is a very passionate football player and Ruben is her new and equally passionate football coach. However, the two of them can't seem to get along.

Enjoy!

Ruben led the team out of the summer cup group stage on top, with zero losses, collecting every single point avaliable. Entering the knock off stages he trained the team accordingly, making you work as if victory was inevitably yours. He kept his promise too. You were never benched for something irrational again, like your bad attitude towards him. Maybe because your attitude towards Ruben changed completely during the course of the summer. In fact, you found it hard to even look him in the eyes these days. At least without getting caught slipping. Your gaze usually faltered to the center of his tracksuit, imagining what lay beneath. A dinosaur, a dragon, a beast?

Whatever he called it, it had you biting the corner of your lip and holding your stomach to mend the gut wrenching feeling that followed your sinful thoughts.

"Y/N?"

Sarah, your teammate, had you snap out of your locker room fantasies.

"Huh?"

"Ruben wants you."

You had been avoiding one on one's with him for this exact reason, for the discomfort in your gut whenever he met your eye. What if he caught you staring? Staring at his...his...giant dinosaur."

"My what?"

Ruben stood waiting for you on the field, a fooball tucked underneath his arm.

"Huh?"

You hadn't noticed your feet carrying you out of the locker room and onto the pitch. One second you were there, the next you were standing before Ruben, who looked down on you with a crooked smile on his lips.

"You said something about my giant dinosaur?"

"No, I didn't." Instat heat warmed your cheeks.

"I know what I heard." He chuckled.

"Yes well..." You cleard your throat. "You did hear me say giant dinosaur, yes. But I wasn't talking about you."

"No?"

"Of course not. What I said was that giant dinosaurs are my favorite animals."

"Okay..." He frowned. "Good to know."

You rolled your eyes. "Sarah said you wanted me?"

"Yes, I did." He dropped the ball to the ground near his feet. "I thought we could practice some drills. I've told all the girls I have time for one on one's after every practice session and so far everyone has come to me for some kind of advice, everyone accept you."

"Oh."

Ruben eyes searched your face. The lump in your stomach returned.

"I thought I made it clear that you can come to me for anything. Our early clash this summer is past us, no?"

"Yes, absolutely. " You were quick to nod, a bit guilty that Ruben thought that you still held a grudge against him. " I just thought that...that maybe i didn't need it." You lied.

He frowned. "Well that's stupid."

"What did you call me?"

"I said it's stupid of you to think that you're beyond needing help. Everyone needs a little extra help sometimes."

"Well I don't." You hissed.

"Well I'm telling you that you do."

You were brought back by his resilience, your chest heaving up and down with the sudden fright it had given you.

"I'm sorry."  He ran a quick hand through his hair, collecting himself.  "I just think that you'd be better off with a few tips, that's all."

You nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

You let him lead you onto the pitch, stopping before the small goals that the team only used for training. Ruben separated you from one of them by position himself between it.

"Now, try and get past me." He passed you the ball.

"Easy." You chuckled.

Although you were quicker, Ruben's frame was  bigger, tremendously bigger.

"Fuck Ruben." His shoulder knocked against yours, tripping you to the ground. "What you do that for?"

He stretched out a hand, helping you back up.

"Because..." He said, dusting off your back. "I'm going to teach you how to properly get through a defender.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Now come at me again. This time try and avoid coming too close."

"Fine."

You had another go, however the same thing happened, Ruben, tripping you to the ground, this time with a swipe of his feet.

"For fucksakes!"

You slapped away his helping hand, getting up from the ground yourself.

"Quit looking at your feet." He directed. "Your eyes are giving away where you're going to go. Look your opponent dead in the eye. That will throw them off."

"Okay, just give me a sec." You needed to catch a breath. "You know I'm a girl right? Not one of your mates frim the pub."

He chuckled. "I don't go to the pub. Now try again. "

You did what you were told, but this time it was personal. You dribbled the ball past his feet, all whilst keeping your distance. Just as Ruben was about to have a go at your legs you lifted your gaze, looking him dead in the eye. He smirked, you smirked and without his predicton you sent the ball between his feet and into the corner of the small goal.

"Yes!" You said, celebrating the goal with a set of cartwheels.

"You're a fast learner." Ruben stood with the ball tucked underneath his arm again, waiting for you to finish your celebrations.

"Thanks, I know."

He shook his head, hiding his satisfied smile.

"Shall we go again?"

"Nah, I think we're done for the day."

"Ahhh, what happened Ruben?" You teased. "Did my nutmeg twist your legs?"

"Actually, yes."

You frowned as Ruben looked to be limping, eventually setting himself down on the grass.

"Oh my god, Ruben!"

Quickly, you were by his side, checking on the leg he held pressed to the ground.

"It's my knee." He said,  through clenched teeth.

"Your knee injury, it's still bothering you?"

"Yeah." He groaned. "I guess I overestimated my abilities."

"Let me see."

He was brought back to rest on his elbows, allowing you to inspect his knee. It didn't look swollen or anything, but wrapping it up in a bandage would be the best thing to do. "We have some leg wraps in the locker room." You stood, offering Ruben your hand. He declined.

"I'm good here for now. Just got to catch my breath a little."

"It hurts that much?" You knelt down again, watching his eyes squint in pain.

"It will blow over." He grunted.

"Ruben, I'm so sorr..."

"It's not your fault." He waved. "I should have known that you wouldn't go easy on me."

Your smile was weak, a wave of guilt washing over you.

"Hey?" Ruben noticed this and went to pinch your cheek.

His sudden action made you flinch, but then you relaxed seeing him smiling up at you, a warm and handsome smile.

"Dinosaurs are reptiles you know?"

"Huh?"

You were so mesmerized by the color of his eyes, deep brown, that his question almost blew past you.

"Dinosaurs? Your favorite animals?" He said.

"Oh, right."

"Yeah, their actually reptiles." He said, perhaps to distract you from how guilty you felt about his leg. Either way it worked.

"Reptiles are animals, no?"

"No, reptiles are reptiles."

You shook your head. He was as stubborn as you, perhaps even more so.

"My favorite animals are dogs." He said. You like that he continued distracting you, even though you didn't ask him to. It was hard for you seeing him like this, seeing him hurt.

"Do you have any?" You moved your hand to rest on his thigh. It was warm underneath the palm of your hand.

"Two actually." His body shifted a little, but you never thought that it was because the position of your hand made him feel uncomfortable.

"They're in Portugal though, with my parents."

"Why did you leave?"

"My dogs?"

"No, Portugal."

"I told you. To keep my uncle company after the death of my aunt."

Somthing in the way he said it made you believe that this wasn't all there was to it, however, if he wanted to tell you he would have.

"You know you're very talented, Y/N."

"Thanks." You muttered, heart pounding in your chest.

"Any club in the country would be glad to have you."

"You think so?"

"My uncles says your situation at home is limiting you though. He says you wouldn't leave your little sister behind."

"Not when she still needs me, no." You drew a quick breath to mend the sudden irritation of your eyes.

Ruben held your gaze, unsure of who he had sitting before him. "Your sister..." He said, drawing out the sentance with a quick wipe of his mouth. "She'll always need you, you know?"

You felt it, how his thumb stroked the top of your hand. It had gone unnoticed, how his hand had krept closer to yours that still rested on his thigh. Now however, you felt it, his touch.

"Your football career on the other had, won't be up for grabs forever. "

"What are you saying, that I should bale on my sister, move to London and play for a team like Chelsea?"

He shrugged.

You frowned. "Then you don't know the first thing about me."

You stood, pulling your hand away from his thigh. Ruben still watched you from where he lay on the ground. You sighed, stretching out a hand to help him to his feet. He leaned on you for support, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. The smell of him invaded your nostrils. He smelled of grass and aftershave. A warm smell, a homily smell.

You walked across the pitch together, his hip attached to your hip. And for the first time in his presences, since receiving the explicit picture of his dinasaur, you didn’t think about the size of it, or how the thought of it made you feel. Instead you thought about the man attached to it and how he made you feel. Ruben made you feel good. Ruben made you feel safe.

Tagslist:

@kathb59

@alexisquinnlee-bc

@husherstan

[astrojulia]

Disclaimer: These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purpose.

Warnings: Lord... you all are really depressed... or my cards loves some sad themes...

Hello Siren, how are you? I know it took a long time for this reading to come out... But I need to organize a lot of things before reading the cards... I hope you like it!!

How to pick a pile

When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise! .

Credits: Piles images: here.

Pile 1 - Hello Kitty

It sounds like you've been through a rough patch lately, but you're determined to find new solutions and try things you've never done before. You're taking some brave chances and facing fears that would have held you back before. Good for you! It's important to keep moving forward so you don't get stuck in a rut.

Right now, your spirituality and faith are what's going to get you through. No material possessions can really help at this point, so keep holding on to what you believe in. I know it can be tough, and you might feel like giving up sometimes, but don't. You've got this!

It seems like some innocent choices you made in the past have led you here, but don't beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that you're taking responsibility and doing what you can to make things better.

The next few months might be challenging, and you may experience some heartbreak and loss. It's okay to feel shaken, but remember to turn to the things you know to be true. This is the start of a new beginning, and I know it might not be what you had in mind, but sometimes the best things come from unexpected places. You'll come out the other side a different person, with new dreams and goals. Even with all the challenges you'll face, I have a feeling your future self will be the happiest and most content yet. It's like you're seeing the beauty in the little things in life, and that's a wonderful thing. You're the rainbow after the storm!

Pile 2 - My Melody

Hey, it looks like you've been through a lot lately - a breakup, leaving your job, and maybe even finishing or dropping a course. But now, you're feeling hopeful about the future and excited about the possibilities ahead. You're not sure what your next steps will be, but you're open to exploring what you can do with what you have and how it can lead to something great down the road. It's a liberating feeling to have some free time and space to figure things out.

It seems like you've been putting a lot of energy into your life and personal growth, and now it's time to take a step back and let things unfold. Maybe you're feeling like you've done all you can for now and it's time to wait and see what happens next.

Over the next few months, you might start to see the results of your choices, but they may not turn out exactly as you planned. It's okay to feel disappointed or frustrated, but try not to be too hard on yourself. You did your best, and sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to. Just remember that this is all part of the process, and even if it's not a perfect outcome, it's still progress.

Pile 3 - Kuromi

I sense that you're feeling very down lately. It seems like you're constantly at odds with those around you, and that you're stuck in a rut with limited options. Your dreams for the future seem out of reach, and you're becoming increasingly disillusioned with reality. You might even be wondering if you're dealing with depression. If that's the case, I want to encourage you to seek help from a professional institution. There's no shame in asking for help, and it's important to prioritize your mental health.

It sounds like you've experienced a lot of loss, whether that's people or material possessions. The world crisis has affected us all in different ways, but it seems like it's been particularly hard on you. You may have found solace in spending more time on the internet or daydreaming, but ultimately, that won't bring you the happiness and fulfillment you crave.

Over the next three months, it's important that you take time to work through your emotional baggage. This will be a personal journey, but know that you're not alone. I'll be back soon to share some self-esteem lessons that I hope will help you. However, I want to stress that seeking help from a professional therapist should be your first priority. It's okay if you don't connect with the first one you see - keep searching until you find someone you trust.

It might be helpful to take some time to yourself, to retreat to a peaceful place where you can reflect on your life and what you want for your future. Don't be afraid to seek out new opportunities or to explore different paths. You have the power to create a better life for yourself, and I believe in you. Remember, hope is still alive - hold onto it and work towards a brighter future.

Pile 4 - Pompompurin

You seem to be in a really good mood today! It's very likely that you've recently entered into a serious relationship, started a new job or course, or started pursuing a new sport. But for many, it's a new love that's got you feeling all giddy and full of excitement! You're in that exhilarating infatuation phase of a relationship, laughing and smiling more than usual, and feeling grateful that it happened even faster than you expected.

It's obvious that you've been dreaming of this moment for a while now - you went from waiting patiently for it to happen to texting all of your friends that "he texted me 'Hi' today."

Over the next 3 months, you might notice that the initial excitement starts to fade away. This is because your new commitment will gradually escalate, and you will come to understand that this is something real that needs investment and seriousness. Although your partner can be the best, you can't be childish and think that it's just all fun and games. You will communicate more, maybe have an argument or two in the process, to put your points of view and realize that you both are different. You will mature and question whether this is the right relationship for you, and whether what you want now is what you'll want in the future. You'll be faced with some tough decisions, and desires will take over everything else, but you'll have enough wisdom to understand everything that happened and come out stronger and wiser.

Pile 5 - Cinnamoroll

Hey siren! It sounds like you might be feeling a bit confused right now and seeking some guidance. I totally understand - decision-making can be tough, especially when it feels like you have to leave something behind. It's important to remember that sometimes in life, we can't have it all and that making a choice means accepting the consequences that come with it.

It seems like you've been putting in a lot of hard work to get to where you are today, and now you're reaping the rewards all at once. It can definitely feel overwhelming, like when you plant too much in a farm game and all the crops grow on the same day, and it's the last day of the season! (If you got that reference, let me know in the comments, LOL!)

But the real question on your mind is whether or not you made the right choice. The good news is, you still have some time to figure things out over the next few months. No matter what you choose, though, you should be proud of your accomplishments and feel content with your achievements. Remember, the journey doesn't end here - you still have a lot of work ahead of you, but you know what you want and that's an important first step in achieving your goals.

Pile 6 -Pochacco

You are surrounded by barriers, voluntary barriers that you have put up to protect yourself. Where you are is comfortable, and you are provided for, but at what cost? Where are your diversions, your growth? You are protected, but also trapped. You have everything you need, but what will you do with it? Are you afraid of things happening again? I do believe that you've been through a lot, that the world has been cruel to you for no reason. You were hurt, used, and discarded in your innocence, and where you are now, there's no way that can happen again.

You always had to be on the lookout, on a battlefield where you had to be always rational, always attentive because there was no one to help you, no relief. And finally, this relief has come, hasn't it? You're now in a world where you don't need barriers to survive because you're protected.

In the next 3 months, this will fall apart naturally, and you will be removed by hook or by crook from this world. You know it's not for you. You always had so much courage to face the world, hoping that these people were only fleeting and that you would find better companions in the future. Where are you now? Hidden where these companions cannot find you. So, yes, you're going to leave, and you're going to have to relearn how to live in that world you left behind and create new worlds for yourself too. I know you've learned a lot in this isolation, and it's time to put it into practice. Your life in the tower will come to an end, and you can start preparing to say a final goodbye to it. It's okay; it won't hurt you.

[bagopucks]

C. Caufield - College Despair

✄————————————

Cole Caufield x College!reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 2.8k

Warning(s): mention of body image concerns, overwhelmed reader, seductive Cole, fluff and sadness.

The only proofread I did was a light skim over twice <3

I will do a part two of the next day if anybody wants it.

—————————————

I was not usually one to make Cole wake up alone after road trips. Due to the All Star Weekend, Cole had just returned from his last away game, and the Canadians had no future events planned for days.

He said he wanted to spend some real quality time together. I smiled and nodded last night simply to get him to go to sleep, but I knew quality time would be moments few and far in between. I still had school work. Essays and endless notes I had to transfer or write down. I was overwhelmed. I needed extra time on things I was already running out of time on. I sat in the extra bedroom of our apartment. We had it decorated like a second little living space. We called it our movie room, but I decided it was going to be a study space for the time being.

I had my folders and notebooks sprawled out on the couch, my laptop on the table in front of me while I sat and pulled at the sleeves of Cole’s oversized Habs hoodie. I had on a pair of bike shorts underneath. On the table, I had a few pieces of butter and jelly toast I had since forgotten. Untouched.

I was hungry, but I was never one to give myself anything until I felt I properly achieved a work goal. Perhaps I was too hard on myself.

I stared down at the list of undone assignments. I began to grow tired with the feeling of being overwhelmed. The tears sprung to my eyes. I pushed through and opened one of the first assignments.

Sometimes I wondered if I even needed college. I had dreams I wanted to pursue, but at the same time, in moments like these, I often fantasized about being a stay at home girlfriend. Relaxing and living a life of leisure while I took care of the apartment and delved into my many hobbies I had since left behind because of college.

“Babe?” I felt my heart drop at the sound of Cole’s voice. Somehow he always managed to sound like a lost child when he couldn’t find me. Right now I needed him to mind his business.

I remained silent, staring at the door as if a monster was going to break in and get me. The comfort monster. The distraction I wanted but didn’t need.

When silence followed, I turned back to my computer. I reached for the notebook that corresponded with the subject I was on, and one of my various colored pens.

I started reading through the assignment, jotting down the information I needed before I heard the door to the movie room open. I sighed.

“Babe?” I looked up at Cole just as he looked down at me. I grew frustrated with him. His brow creased with worry.

“Oh mama…” usually that nickname made me feel butterflies. Sometimes Cole spoke it jokingly, other times he liked to use it to flirt. Now, the nickname fell on deaf ears as I stared him down.

“We were supposed to spend quality time together. Remember?” Cole was cautious as he walked into the room, his eyes falling to the mess that was notebooks and supplies. Then they landed on my toast. He reached for it, and pressed a finger to the side of one of the pieces of bread. I watched him with a furrowed brow.

“Your toast is pretty cold now.” I realized what he was doing. “Cold toast isn’t good. C’mon. I’ll make you something.” He held his hand out to me. I shook my head.

“I have work to do, Coley. Why don’t you go out with the guys today? Or you could give Trev a call? He’s in the ASG this year.”

“I called him last night before I got home. And I just spent a week on the road with the guys. You know who I haven’t spent time with?” His lips pursed and his brow raised, expecting me to answer his question.

I sighed and dropped my pen on my notebook. “Me.” I mumbled as my head fell into my hands.

“Just breakfast.. okay? Then I promise you can crawl back into your dark den of college despair.” Cole grabbed one of my hands and pried it from my face. I looked up at him helplessly.

“Just breakfast, Cole.” I warned.

“You got it. I’ll meet you in the kitchen. I have to change.”

We parted ways after he smiled at me. I trudged out to the kitchen while Cole skipped excitedly into our bedroom. I could barely focus on quality time knowing I had so much to get done. I leaned back against the counter top, and those previous tears returned. I tried to wipe them away swiftly. Just in time for Cole to return in a matching sweatshirt, his boxers, and a pair of long socks on.

Biggest distraction of my life.

“Alright. What do you wanna eat?” I shrugged at his question. “What about eggs? Or we could do pancakes? Homemade waffles?”

I slowly wrapped my arms around my grumbling stomach. I hated how good it all sounded, and how wasteful with time I was being.

“Waffles are your favorites.” Cole reached for me and placed his hands on my arms.

“Waffles are fine.” I finally gave in. Cole’s smile faded.

“Is college really freaking you out this bad?” He turned away to grab the items and ingredients needed to make breakfast while I slowly hoisted myself up onto the island counter top.

“Guess so.” I shrugged. “I have all this work.. and it’s just- it’s a lot.”

Cole nodded. He left the waffle maker over by the stove and turned to me with his arms full of waffle ingredients.

“You’ll help me.. yeah?” He looked so dorky, I couldn’t help but nod.

“Yeah.. I’ll help you. Wouldn’t want my waffles tasting horrible.” I teased as he set everything down beside me on the counter.

“Don’t be rude.” Cole muttered out as he nudged my legs apart to open the cabinet drawer the scissors were in. Once he pushed it shut, I pulled my legs together again. He cut open the package of waffle mix before pouring that into the mixing bowl.

Soon, we both fell into our usual routine of prepping meals together. Something we both enjoyed vastly. We had a good kitchen routine. One we built well together, to the point that at times, we both faltered in moments where we cooked apart.

There were nights I would try making myself Alfredo or a more complex dish, only to turn away from the cutting board and turn back ten minutes later to realize I did not have Cole to help with cutting. He admitted to me that he did the same thing sometimes.

His issues however, lied more with recipe reading. He was a victim of forgetfulness in the kitchen. And when I wasn’t there to remind him of what he needed, he often got lost and frustrated.

“Mix that while I grease the waffle maker.” Cole held out the spatula to me and I nodded.

I hoisted the mixing bowl into my lap and began to mix together the waffle batter while my eyes travelled up and down Cole’s backside. I stretched a leg out to nudge his thigh with my foot. He adjusted his stance and tried to focus on what he was doing. Which wasn’t a long task.

When I nudged his leg again, he was turning to look at me. Cole raised a brow, smiling from ear to ear.

“Can I help you?” He asked as he made his way back across the small space between our stove and the island.

“Nope. Just wanted you closer so I could get a handful of that ass.” I teased before I set the mixing bowl down by my side, leaving the spatula in it. Cole laughed and rested his hands on my thighs.

“Well if you’d spend the rest of the day with me, then maybe you can.” By no fault of his own, my mind wandered back to my work. My smile slowly faded.

“Cole.” I chided. “You said just breakfast.”

“I know.. but- what if tomorrow.. tomorrow I will sit with you all day and help you do your work.”

It sounded so perfect. A full day of being with Cole, but still having a chance to get some assignments done.

“Cole, I can’t.”

“Yes you can.” He insisted, that hopeful look on his face inevitably leading to my downfall. I tried to fight it. Tried to reason with myself that this was a horrible idea-

“That’s fine, but you can’t pull any funny business. I’m serious.” I reached out to wrap my arms around his neck. He nodded and moved his hands up my thighs and to my hips.

“No funny business. I’ll even work the calculator for you.” I smiled at his words.

“You’ll even work the calculator,” I mocked. “How’d I get so lucky?” I leaned forward, and Cole’s eyes travelled to my lips before I kissed him.

Once we pulled away, he squeezed my hips.

“You have to switch counters.” He pointed toward the countertop by the stove.

“I’ll just stand with you.” I laughed softly as I slipped to the floor.

Cole grabbed the mixing bowl and carried it to the opposite counter, setting it down by the stove. I gasped.

“We’re missing something!” His eyes went wide as I bolted across the kitchen to open one of our cabinets. I grabbed a bag of chocolate chips and returned, grabbing the discarded scissors.

“Woah woah woah.” Cole slowed me down. I looked up at him. “I can’t do chocolate chips.” I raised a brow.

“Why not? You love these!”

“I’m supposed to be staying fit.” I cut the top off the bag as he spoke. I set it down next to the mixing bowl and strategically slipped my hand beneath Cole’s sweatshirt, gliding it over the various dips and bumps of his abs. He shivered at the chill from my skin.

“I think you’ll be fine, mama.” I teased. We both had moments like these, worried about our weights, but I knew Cole was particularly tense about his because of his height. He insisted his muscle was what made up for the lost inches of height.

“Tomorrow we’ll do healthy stuff.” I decided to make a bargain of my own. He’d help me with school work, and I’d keep our meals strictly healthy. I slipped my hand out from beneath his sweatshirt.

“Fine. But not too many chocolate chips.”

I nodded and grabbed the bag before I began to dump the chocolate chips into the batter. After I decided we had enough, I set the bag aside and began to mix the chocolate in.

Cole’s arms wrapped around my body from behind.

“I wish we could do this more often.” He whispered.

“We have three days, Cole. Three days of you and me. Let’s just worry about that for now.” After I finished mixing the chocolate in, I wiped one side of the spatula off on the lip of the bowl. I held the spatula over my shoulder, and Cole’s arms immediately disappeared from my midsection to grab it.

He took a bit of the batter on his finger and licked it off before giving me a nod of approval.

“I’ll pour ‘em on, but you have to time it. I’m not good at telling when they’re done.” Cole spoke and I nodded.

It was around thirty minutes of making waffles before Cole and I had two plates full. I carried them back into the movie room while he grabbed butter, syrup, and utensils.

Guilt ate at me while I found an empty place on the coffee table to set our plates, but Cole was close behind me, and ready to shove my notebooks and laptop aside.

He set the various items he held down next to our food and began gathering all of my books, shutting my laptop, and inevitably placing it all in a big pile on the armchair in the room.

I glanced at him with uncertainty. He looked right back with a bright smile.

“Any movie suggestions?” Cole questioned as he plopped down on the couch and got everything situated. I quickly sat beside him and reached for the tv remote.

“Not sure. We can look though.” And like most, we looked for what felt like hours. Until Cole gave up and I decided on Me Before You. A movie I assumed would be sweet to watch in the early hours of the day. Cole got situated holding his plate and eating, while I sat back against the arm of the couch and threw my legs over his lap.

By the time we finished eating and plates were discarded on the table, Cole remained in his spot. I had moved closer to lean against his side, my knees bent over his lap still, while his hands massaged my calves. I couldn’t see Cole’s face, but I knew he was crying too. Me Before You was in fact, not a good morning movie.

We both sniffed occasionally, and tried to inconspicuously wipe our eyes. Cole’s hands gripped my calves even tighter at times.

“If that ever happens to me.. you’ll stick around, yeah?” His question caught me completely off guard. It wasn’t a likely possibility concerning his job, but it was still a possibility.

“Absolutely.” I whispered in response, looking up at Cole as his head turned to peek down at me. I couldn’t help but smile sadly at the tears in his eyes.

“You picked a pretty shitty movie.” He informed me as he sniffed.

“I didn’t mean to. We should have just watched Wedding Crashers for the fiftieth time.” We both broke out into quiet fits of laughter. One of Cole’s hands slipped from my calf to my shin, and slowly up to my thigh. I reached out to cup his cheek.

“We still have a long day ahead of us to forget this movie.” I assured.

“Can I take you out?” I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he asked so politely. My thumb brushed across his cheek.

“Of course you can.” I whispered dreamily and slowly leaned forward. Cole tried to connect our lips, but I moved to keep mere inches between our faces. He chuckled softly, deciding to play along with my little teasing and flirting game.

“Will you get all dressed up?” His eyes flickered between my own eyes and my lips.

“Only if you get dressed up for me.” I moved my hand from his cheek to the back of his head, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“And I get to take you home with me at the end of the night?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“God Damnit.” Cole mumbled out playfully with a sigh. “Least I have you at home now.”

“You do.” I finally allowed my eyes to slip down to his lips, and Cole caught on quickly. He kissed me, and I was swift to keep his lips on mine by applying pressure to the back of his head.

I only pulled away when the light from the tv flickered. I smiled at Cole before I gently patted his thigh.

“I have to get a shower.”

“Oh yeah.. I need one too.”

I had to do a double take when I stood up.

“You took one last night.”

“Yeah? Maybe I need another.”

I raised a brow.

“Use the guest bathroom.”

“Our shower is big enough for the both of us.”

I placed my hands on my hips.

“Cole, I need a shower. Not a sexcapade.”

“I don’t know.” Cole stood up and rested his hands on my hips. He took slow steps backwards toward the door of the movie room, and I walked with him simply to continue our conversation. “Why not both?”

“We don’t have enough hot water for both.” I glared.

“I’ll keep you warm.”

I gave him another gentle push, but Cole pulled me into his chest nonetheless, lifting me off the floor with a chuckle. I reluctantly gave in, wrapping my legs around his midsection as his hands held me up.

“You win, but just this once.” I pointed a finger at him.

“This is all the quality time I need.” His words earned him a slap on the shoulder.

“One. Time. Caufield.”

“You’ll change your mind after our date tonight.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[sonicasura]

I felt like delving more into the ShadowKaiju ship i.e Kafka Hibino x Macaque. Why? For the hell of it honestly. This is a summary in how I would portray the relationship between both characters and will include influences from their respective franchise. Let's get started.

The two first meet when Kafka is around 22 years old. He's getting after a late night shift only to notice something off in the alleyway near his apartment. Kafka finds Macaque bleeding out with a fresh slice across his eye.

The man hesitates for a second as he doesn't know what the strange monkey creature is but decides to help him. Macaque later wakes up extremely confused since he's supposed to be dead, his wounds treated and he's in a very unfamiliar home of a mortal man. (Basically his death in JTTW drops him into KN8verse instead.)

This is their budding relationship in a nutshell: local working man is constantly stalked by curious mischief making shadow monkey. Macaque refuses to leave Kafka alone after his wounds are healed. The man's shadow now has a constant occupant that takes awhile for him to get used to.

Macaque thankfully doesn't interfere with his job as a Monster Sweeper. Sometimes the yaoguai even helps in secret. Hide that was difficulty to cut suddenly gives way in seconds, once empty disposal units are completely full and other discrepancies. Although Kafka didn't question if any surprise bite marks on the latest kaiju corpse were from Macaque.

He's confused why the shadow monkey chose to stick around but figures the bloke might be seeking companionship. Plus Macaque hasn't really crossed any lines yet. Yup, they were roommates if the extra futon Kafka bought was enough evidence.

The moment Macaque finds out his mortal companion wants to join the Defense Force is when another failed letter comes in the mail. He was confused at first until Kafka explains what the DF is and the promise he made to Mina. Macaque stays out of it for awhile.

The promise reminded too much about his former best friend/killer. It's only Kafka's determination to take the test again does Macaque decided to extend a hand. He offers to help train the man so he could attain his goal. (You can bet your ass it was brutal since this is Macaque.)

Despite the continuous failures of each exam, the monkey yaoguai didn't give up on Kafka. Rooted feelings had continue to blossom over the years until a 25 year old Kafka confesses. Those shared emotions were mutual much to his relief. Both began dating each other for another two years before marrying.

While Kafka works as a Monster Sweeper, Macaque runs a Shadow Play Theatre under a human disguise. Only the former's coworkers know what the latter really is. (Both had a discussion about it before bringing it up to them. The Monster Sweepers wholeheartedly support the two. Reno finds out after Kafka becomes a Kaiju.)

Macaque is quite a possessive lover of Kafka and isn't shy about proving his claim. Those who foolishly flirt or try to harass his mortal husband are met with terrifying shadows speaking in ancient Chinese until they retreat. Kafka smothers his partner with love and just spoils the latter whenever.

Macaque is extra protective of his lover after he becomes a kaiju. He nips any negative thoughts Kafka has about himself in the bud. Macaque isn't even human to begin with so why would he see his lover's new kaiju side as a problem? Teaching Kafka glamour magic would make hiding any flare ups or a potential permanent transformation easier to conceal.

Macaque may have a developed a habit of perching onto his lover's back whenever he is Kaiju No 8. The added height and horns make it easier to hold on(alongside do much more.😏) Kafka has a better understanding of his new kaiju half thanks to Macaque.

Changes that occurred during the Entrance exam due to his husband. Release Power: 2% and higher written test scores. Macaque was annoyed that Kafka didn't have a chance to fully use the suit.(He may have sent a letter to the Defense Force about an extra testing ground aka a Kikoru clause.)

New Defense Force officers notice the ring on the new cadet's finger while talking in the baths. Man had to throw off any accusation that he was married to/or trying to cheat with Mina. They were old friends and he will remain faithful to his husband. Kafka learns the boys are eager for any kind of gossip about the "old man's love life".

A disguised Macaque often shows up to deliver lunch to his lover or give him something, he gotten a visitor's pass just in case. Doesn't mean hitchhiking Kafka's shadows days are over. He can easily have a few shadow clones manage the theatre and their home in his place.

These two are chaotic lovers wherever than just whenever. Now if Macaque finds his theatre full of Kafka's Defense Coworkers then he won't be surprised. Only Reno has free tickets though as the Monster Sweepers took the remaining ones. (Macaque was definitely amused when Kafka troed to defend himself for 'favoritism' by the younger officers*mostly Iharu*.)

[sergeantsporks]

Writing Request:

Suddenly remembers Another Shot In Life

Takes places after the finale:

After a disastrous day in the demon realm (Hunter comes across some people who loss their palisman because of him) Hunter decides to take some days for himself in the human realm. There, Vee tries to encourage him to stay permanently, reminding him that here he could have a fresh start as she did, a place where he could just be himself without any reminders of the Golden Guard or Belos, while Hunter tries to argue against this with how he has friends on the boiling isles, promises to keep (making palisman) and life goals (School and Flyer Derby) They get into an argument, and in the process both ended up touching on some sore topics (Vee being the last basilisk and Hunter being the last grimwalker). They drop the subject and decide to just spend some time comforting each other before Hunter leaves.

Author's Note: Because of the "remembers another shot at life" line, I GROSSLY misread this as a request for a scenario set in the "Camila is Hunter's Mom Now" universe, and by the time I realized my mistake, I was in too deep to change/feasibly rewrite this. All that to say, this fic is written with the Hunter Noceda AU logic and background in mind, so Hunter's motivations, goals, and relationships are different (and Flapjack is still alive), but I tried to stick with the general concept of the plot. Sorry 'bout that.

xx

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” Hunter stalled at the portal door. “I mean, I haven’t been back to the demon realm since…”

Camila stood next to him, watching the magic shift and swirl across the surface of the portal. “I know.”

“But I mean—I know it’s different now, and he’s not there, and Luz is really excited about the university, and maybe it’s time I give it a look. I can’t just stay away forever.”

“No one will make you go, Hunter.”

“I know that.” Hunter twisted his hands around each other. “Luz and Jade have been talking.”

“A dangerous combo.”

“I think Jade wants to go to the isles someday.”

Camila smiled warmly. “That sounds like her.”

“So…” Hunter shrugged helplessly. “I guess I want to be the one to show her. And Thomas, if he ever wants to come. If I can do that without Jacob hovering over our shoulders the whole time. But I definitely can’t show them around if… if I can’t even walk through the door.” He squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Okay, I’m ready.”

Hunter stepped through the portal. He expected it to feel magical somehow, or at least strange, but it was just like walking out of the house into the outdoors. Maybe a slight temperature change. But nothing special.

A hand grabbed his halfway into the portal, pulling him the rest of the way in.

“Hey!” Luz said brightly, “You made it! Are you ready?”

Flapjack fluttered out of Hunter’s pocket, soaring around the room with a cheerful song. Hunter smiled watching the little bird.

“Glad to be back?” he asked. Flapjack chirped an affirmation, landing on his shoulder and nuzzling against his face.

“Eda’s already at the university,” Luz explained, holding her hand out for her own palisman, “Aaaaaand, so. There’s been a breakthrough in technology removing sigils.”

Hunter’s gut dropped. “Oh.”

“I know you don’t really… have yours… anymore…”

Hunter rubbed his wrist where the scar left by the Collector sat, blotchy and red against his skin. “Right.”

“I was just wondering if you might be interested. Does it still bother you sometimes?”

“Itches sometimes. But that might just be the…” Hunter scratched at it. “…the burn… Do you think I should get it checked out?”

“That’s up to you. It’s just in Latissa. On the way if you say yes, not a problem if you say no.”

The Collector burning the sigil off had stopped Belos’ attempt to kill him. But what if there was something deeper under the skin that he didn’t know about?

“Yeah. Let’s go. It’ll only take a minute, right?”

Hunter was used to people getting out of his way in the Isles. He was used to fearful looks of respect as he passed and citizens falling away to let him through.

But the way people moved for Luz was different. There were cheerful hellos, nods of respect, and ‘of course, go on through’s.  People cast him quizzical looks, let him through easily enough since he was with Luz, but overwhelmingly… no one knew who he was.

It didn’t feel good, per se. But it didn’t feel bad, either. He hadn’t considered that people might be angry at him for being the golden guard until the nurse at the old Latissa police station had looked at him for just a second too long and his heart started to race, but no one seemed to recognize him without his mask and cloak.

What happens if they figure it out?

But for now, he and Luz walked into the clinic without a care in the world. Or, at least, it seemed that way until Hunter saw Darius Deamonne, and everything seemed to tilt just a little out of focus, like a camera lens that was a little bit blurry, but still able to catch a picture. Luz went straight to Alador Blight, explaining the situation to him, while Darius and Hunter stood awkwardly next to each other.

Hunter broke the silence first.

“Hi, Darius.”

“G—Hunter. Glad to see you look well.”

“Oh. You too.”

More awkward silence. Hunter circled his thumbs around each other

“Camila said you helped find me. Or—well—you and Eberwolf.”

“Ah. Yes. I suppose we did.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Darius cleared his throat. “And I apologize. For my previous behavior towards you.”

“Oh.” Hunter scratched at his wrist. Darius had never been kind. He’d ignored him, mostly, and had been curt when they’d had to interact. But he’d been no worse than any other coven head in that regard.

“I don’t know how much Luz told you, but I went into Belos’ mind, along with coven heads Eberwolf and Raine, and, somehow, Luz herself. And while there, we saw some… disturbing things. Regarding the nature of your relationship with Belos.”

Hunter opened and closed his mouth without saying anything. He felt like he’d been sucker punched. He hadn’t known. Luz hadn’t gone into too much detail about what had happened on the day of unity or the days leading up to it. Sometimes he’d wondered if she was hiding something. And she might be, if she’d seen everything and was trying to keep it normal between the two of them. Not that she hadn’t known already what had happened between him and Belos, but still.

“And I like to think that if I’d figured it out in the coven, I would have reached out to you,” Darius continued, “But whatever I might have done, I know that I didn’t actually do anything to help you in reality. So I just wanted to apologize for treating you poorly, when I could have helped.”

“Oh.” Hunter chewed the inside of his cheek. How was he supposed to respond to that?  “That’s alright. I might not have run away if you had.”

Darius accepted his reply with a gracious nod and stepped back as Alador approached, holding up his sparking glove.

“It’s quick,” he promised, “And painless. Hold out your arm?”

Hunter glanced at Luz, and she gave him a quick nod. He held out his arm, Alador put the glove right where his burn was, and nothing changed at all. It didn’t itch. But he didn’t know that it had stopped forever, either.

Time will tell.

“Thank you,” he managed, and then it was back outside, to freedom and the skies with Flapjack and Luz.

Hunter swooped, twisting and doing a barrel roll in midair with a whoop. He hadn’t been able to fly in the human realm; he’d never found somewhere that he really thought was secluded enough, and he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it until now. He aimed Flapjack down at the ground in a steep dive, pulling up at the last second and flipping in the air.

“Nice moves.”

Hunter yelped, losing balance and falling halfway off his staff so he was clinging to the underside.

The witch next to him laughed. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to startle you.” She waved up in the sky. “Hey, Luz!”

“Willow!”

Luz swooped down, helping Hunter upright. “Hunter, this is Willow, Willow, Hunter.”

Right. Luz had talked about her friends before, he knew who they were. Willow. Captain of her own flyer derby team (whatever that was). Plant witch. Luz’s first friend in the isles, discounting Eda and King. “Hi. Hello. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard a lot about you!” Willow grinned, pulling a lazy loop-de-loop in the air. “Welcome back to the isles.”

“Thanks.”

Willow pulled ahead, skidding down in a graceful landing at a massive blue tree. Flapjack chirped excitedly to see it, fluttering out of his staff form as soon as they landed and soaring up to inspect the branches.

Hunter’s breath caught in his throat. “Is that…”

“Palistrom,” Luz confirmed, her own palisman twining around her wrist, “Eda’s dad had a seed, and since Belos is gone, we’ve been able to grow this big one, and reseed the forests!”

“Wow,” Hunter murmured. He put one hand on the tree’s thick trunk, shivering at the contact. “It’s beautiful.”

Flapjack chirped an agreement, landing back on his shoulder.

“Come on, let me give you the tour!”

Luz grabbed Hunter’s hand, tugging him through the university. She pointed out each classroom, naming the courses. There were classes for each of the original coven tracks, but there also seemed to be dozens of combination classes, for any kind of magic mixing you could imagine—classes on training your beasts and abominations to get along, safety crash courses on keeping your living plants and your potions separated, and countless others.

“Here—look.”

Hunter squinted at the sign above the door. “Human… exchange program?”

Luz bounced up and down. “We were thinking we’d start small, with people who already know. Like Jade, you know? And then, if things go well… maybe we start telling people about the demon realm?”

Hunter swayed on his feet, dizzy at the thought, although he wasn’t sure why. “Oh.”

“But I wanted to ask you first,” Luz said in a rush, “Vee, too.”

“Right,” Hunter said slowly, “Because if we tell people about the demon realm, they’ll… figure out… where Vee and I… came from…” He ran a hand through his hair, sick at the thought of some of his classmates coming here, seeing everything, seeing where he’d come from, and… “Uh,” he managed in a strangled whisper, “I’ll think about it.”

“Oh, noooo, you hate the idea—look, forget about it, we can—”

“No. No, I’ll think about it. It’s a good idea, I’m just… not sure… if I’m ready for it. And I want to talk to Vee, first.”

“Yeah. Understandable. Okay.”

Flapjack preened his feathers, nonchalantly warning Hunter that one of the university students was staring at him, and had been for the last minute or two. Hunter glanced around and saw the one Flapjack was talking about—the student had to be at least five or six years his senior, and he’d never seen their face before. The moment he locked eyes with them, they startled, then headed right towards him.

“Um—” they started apologetically, “I’m probably wrong, but… did you… by any chance… are you the golden guard?”

Flapjack turned to staff form, and Hunter took a step back, holding the weapon so that he could either fight or hop on and fly away at a moment’s notice. “Who are you?!” he demanded.

They held their hands up. “Sorry! Sorry, I, uhhhhh…” they glanced around. “I was a coven scout just half a year ago. This is… my second chance. So. I understand not wanting to be recognized, and I won’t talk to you again if you want to keep a low profile. I just… wanted to ask you something.”

Hunter glanced back at Luz, who shrugged. Maybe she had seen everything in Belos’ mind. But something about this scout felt more private. “Could you give us a second?”

She nodded, bounding down to a different platform and classroom with Stringbean’s help.

“What’s your question?”

“I… noticed you have a palisman. Um. I was just wondering—since you helped collect palisman at initiation, and since you were higher ranked, do you… do you know what happened to ours? Do you know where they were kept?”

“I…”

Memories of broken wood, of green magic spiraling upwards, of lifeless palisman tossed carelessly aside flashed through Hunter’s mind. Soul after soul devoured and destroyed, just to feed someone who should have died a long time ago. That same gloved hand gripping Flapjack tightly, ready to destroy him if Hunter stepped out of line.

Flapjack nudged Hunter’s face with a chirp, and he followed the sound and touch back to the present, one hand gently touching the palisman on his shoulder. But he couldn’t help remembering every palisman he’d given Belos—which one had been this scout’s?

“They were destroyed,” he said numbly, “I’m sorry.”

The ex-scout blinked. “What? No, that can’t be right, Lilith had hers, and you have yours, and… and you didn’t start out as heads of the coven, I—” their eyes searched Hunter’s face, flicking back and forth as if hoping he would say ‘psyche! We kept them in a secret cave, I’ll lead you to them right now!’ “They can’t be…”

“I’m sorry,” Hunter said again, “I…”

“But that’s not fair.” The words came out of the scout in a whisper, like they couldn’t quite believe it. “You got to keep your palisman. Why do you get to have one when you destroyed all of ours?” Their eyes filled with tears. “Why… why is mine… why-?”

Hunter felt sick to his stomach.

He had destroyed palisman. Had collected them from scouts, even knowing what would happen to them. Had gone out in search of more—even if he’d ultimately let those escape with Luz.

He wouldn’t trade Flapjack for anything, but that didn’t stop a cesspool of guilt from opening in his stomach. He slowly backed away from the scout.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m—"

I don’t even know whose was whose.

I just… handed them over.

Half-dazed, Hunter hopped on his staff, pushing off and leaving the scout behind. He flew high, clinging to his staff like a hug more than a proper ride.

Why did I escape?

Why did I get to keep my palisman?

He didn’t realize where he was flying, didn’t stop to steer, just let Flapjack take the lead until he soared right back into the living room, and into Camila’s arms, where he stayed, shaking like a leaf.

“Hey—Hunter, sweetheart, are you okay? Where’s Luz? Did something happen?”

“I—” Hunter squeezed his eyes shut. “Luz. She’s probably wondering where I went, I need to go back, I need to—”

“Stay,” Camila said firmly, “I’ll get her. Take a minute, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She gave him a squeeze, then let go, disappearing into the demon realm. Hunter paced anxiously in front of the door, almost certain that the scout had followed him, or something worse.

Vee fell into step next to him, pacing back and forth with him. “Bad first day, huh?”

“Mmm.” Hunter twisted the strings of his hoodie around his fingers. “It’s too soon.”

“For you?”

“For the Isles. They’re still rebuilding. Trying to figure out what to do without a coven system. And I’m… too close to Belos. Maybe if I’d been part of the rebellion, people would be willing to overlook the golden guard, but I just ran away. I ran away from him, so I’m still associated with him, and—and—I mean, I didn’tdo anything to fight back, did I? I messed up the Isles, and I didn’t even help fix it, I just ran from the problem, and—”

“Hunter. Belos was the problem. Not you.”

“Yeah, but—”

“You didn’t have to fight him. That wasn’t your job. He was hurting you, and you needed to get away.” Her face crinkled in a half-smile. “Besides, I seem to recall Luz saying that you threw a shoe at him and knocked him out cold.”

“That didn’t help anyone.” Hunter sighed. “Which is the problem. How can I just go back to the Isles now that it’s fixed, when I didn’t do anything to help fix it? It feels… wrong.”

“So don’t go back,” Vee said simply.

“What?”

“Don’t go back. No one is making you. I don’t agree that you somehow need to earn the right to go back, but if being there just makes you feel guilty, then don’t go. I thought you said you wanted to stay here in the human realm with us, anyway?”

“I do,” Hunter admitted, “But the Isles aren’t the same anymore. Now that Belos is gone… I don’t know, I never wanted to go back because he was there, and then because of the bad memories.” Hunter started to pace again. “But he’s not there anymore, and I have bad memories with him here, too, so maybe I should give it a shot? And I want to do something to help clean up the isles, Vee, I know Belos is to blame for what happened, but if people who never hurt it in the first place, like Eda, are helping fix the damage, then maybe I should help, too.”

“Wha—you didn’t even want to go this morning!” Vee sputtered, “And you came zooming back after an hour like you’d been burned! Hunter. Listen to me, Hunter. If you only want to go back because you feel obligated, because you feel like you have to make up for what you did—that’s not a good reason to go back. Just stay here. I’m not planning to go back.”

“Well, it’s different for you!”

“Oh, yeah? Belos made that draining spell off of what he learned from me. Do I need to make up for that?”

“That wasn’t your fault!”

“But you getting raised into a soldier was yours?”

“Really, Vee? Are you really going to try to insist that you getting chained up and tortured so that Belos could study your magic holds the same amount of blame as working for him? That’s what you want to say?”

“Are you really going to try to insist that you looking out for your own health and running away from Belos was worse than fighting him and getting killed?! You decided to start over here, just like I did. What’s the point in going back? Just to beat yourself up for not dying some kind of martyr? You left the Isles for a reason.”

Hunter threw his hands in the air. “It’s just—I don’t think it’s something you can understand!”

“And why not?!”

“Because there aren’t basilisks anymore!” Hunter burst out, “Maybe you really don’t want to go back, but it also isn’t really an option for you! You don’t—” he bit down on his tongue, acutely aware of how bad the next words out of his mouth would sound.

“I don’t what? I don’t belong there?!”

“Vee, I didn’t mean it in a bad—”

Vee shifted, getting taller and blonder, her ears lengthening and her eyes turning magenta. “I can pretend to be a witch just as well as you, grimwalker.”

Hunter fumbled for words, staring at her. Usually, she looked like Luz, but right now, she could be his sister.

Vee sighed, settling back to her usual form. “Neither of us belong anywhere,” she said, her voice cracking, “I just thought that we could not belong together.”

“I really didn’t mean it like that,” Hunter said in a small voice, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she said tersely, “I know what you meant.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Me either. I just… I know I didn’t have a lot of options, I guess I… I don’t know. It’s not just that I think I need to help, I also want to. I want to see what the Isles turns into without him. If that makes sense.”

“It does. And I guess I know you wouldn’t be gone forever, I just… I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. Maybe I can make it a place you will want to visit.”

A tiny smile flitted across Vee’s face, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Well. I kinda like how you turned out without Belos controlling you. I think the Isles will turn out pretty well, too.”

[uncloseted]

Have you made a post on how to act more like effy? As in being more mysterious, the words you speak actually having meaning and not just speaking because you don’t like the silence? Huge fan of your account btw!

Yes! It used to be one of the questions I would get asked the most frequently. I gave my answer here. I do want to add, though, that I don't think wanting to change or (especially) wanting to improve yourself is a bad thing. It's not! I think existence is a constant metamorphosis. It's important to be open to growing and changing because it's going to happen whether you want it to or not. And I don't want to be one of those people on the internet who gives useless advice like "just ✨be yourself✨!" because I know how frustrating that is. My goal here has always been to give advice that's informed and actionable, and I don't want my answer to this type of question to be any different.

That said, though, I think it's important to go a little deeper when we find ourselves wanting to be like someone else. Why do we want to be like that person, and what do we think we'll get out of it? Is there another way to get that thing that we want? Is that thing even really important? Is this change something that will make us better or more authentic, or is it a way to protect ourselves or hide from ourselves?

With Effy in particular, I think sometimes people have this mindset of, "people like Effy, and people don't like me, so if I were more like Effy, people would like me." And it's kind of like, well, is that even true? A lot of people think Effy is the most annoying character in Skins, and even in the show, there are people who don't like her. And most people have more people that like them than they think. And even if a person did become more mysterious, would that really make them more likeable? I think most of the time, it just makes them more isolated and harder to connect with. People tend to like people who like people. So if being liked is the goal, maybe it's easier and more straightforward to find ways to show people that you're interested in them instead of crafting a persona, you know? And is it really that important to be liked in the first place? Maybe it's more important to have a few close friends that you could trust with anything, or to be someone who other people feel like they can rely on, or whatever. Or maybe it is really important to be liked. I don't get to decide that for you. And I don't mean this as a knock on the people who are mysterious, either. That can work for people, and it can make people more interested... but I'm sure that the people who are mysterious will say that it comes with its own challenges.

I'm just rambling now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are lots of different ways to be a person and I just think that people are happier when they're working towards aligning with their best qualities and with their values instead of trying to mold themselves into the type of person other people might want them to be, regardless of what that mold is.

Anyway, all that said. I promised an informed and actionable answer to this question, so here's how to be more mysterious:

Limit how much you talk about yourself and how much you share: Avoid sharing details of your life or experiences. The more selective you are about what you reveal, the more curious people will be. This doesn't mean not saying anything about your life, but rather purposefully and selectively dropping breadcrumbs that might make people curious about what you get up to when they're not around. This extends to not oversharing on social media or other public platforms as well.

Be elusive yet approachable: Strike a balance between being mysterious and approachable. Be polite, friendly, and open when interacting with others, but instead of letting them know everything about you, create the opportunity for curiosity and for people to want to learn more.

Be unpredictable: the more predictable you are, the less mysterious you are, so an important aspect of being mysterious is being hard to predict. If your actions, hobbies, or interests surprise people, they'll want to know more- what the backstory is or why you're interested in what you're interested in or whatever. This probably means that in your own life, you have to be open to spontaneity and new experiences. The line between "mysterious" and "boring" is a fine one, and I think unpredictability is what makes a person mysterious instead of boring.

Have a sense of style that sets you apart: if you look different from the people around you, it will attract more attention and make people more curious about who you are, why you make the choices that you make, and where you developed your unique style.

Be comfortable with silence: Embrace comfortable silences in conversations. People often feel compelled to fill the void, but by being comfortable with silence, you appear calm, collected, and mysterious. In terms of how to do that, I think it starts with being a really active participant in the conversation. Try to be totally focused on what the other person is saying instead of waiting for your turn to talk. When you are expected to respond, think about what you can offer to get the person to continue talking about themselves. Before you talk, it can also help to just take a second and ask yourself, "do I want to say this? Do I need to say this? Is this contributing to the conversation/my personal goals? Am I just uncomfortable with the silence?" Becoming more mindful of your talking patterns and engaging with conversation more actively can help you to speak less and give more meaning to the words you do say.

[yhwhrulz]

Today's Daily Encounter Thursday, September 19, 2024

Adversities

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."1

Are you making the most of your problems? Whenever the Lord allows trials to come into our lives, He has a purpose for them (Genesis 50:20). He wants us to squeeze every last drop of spiritual growth instead of letting hardship sink us into despair and discouragement. A trial that seems to destroy us can become an instrument of blessing.

The most natural response to adversity is to beg God to remove it. If that doesn't work, we might get angry or try to find our own way out of the difficulty or pain. Sometimes we blame others, and while someone may have caused the problem, God always has a purpose. No matter where the affliction comes from, God has always known the situation and will use it to accomplish something good. If we could foresee every benefit the Lord designed for trials, perhaps we would trust Him more.

Although we can't see all the details of God's plan, we know that His goal is to use adversity to supply something we lack so that we can mature in faith. So, don't waste the opportunity. Even though the experience is painful, rest in the comforting arms of the Heavenly Father and let Him do His perfect work in you.

Suggested Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for holding me when I am too tired to continue. Thank You for renewing my strength and keeping Your promises. I praise You, Father, for always giving me hope that the best is yet to come. I dedicate my life to you, today and always. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

James 1:2-4 (NIV).

Today's Encounter was written by: Rosina N.

NOTE: If you would like to accept God's forgiveness for all your sins and His invitation for a full pardon Click on: http://www.actsweb.org/invitation.php. Or if you would like to re-commit your life to Jesus Christ, please click on http://www.actsweb.org/decision.php to note this.

Daily Encounter is published at no charge by ACTS International, a non-profit organization, and made possible through the donations of interested friends. Donations can be sent at: http://www.actscom.com

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When copying or forwarding include the following: "Daily Encounter by Richard (Dick) Innes (c) 2005-2023 ACTS International

[pepperyduck]

warnings: little bit nsfw (18+ mdni), little bit mean kento, crying, nsfw below the cut

notes: anyone know how to make a masterlist lmao?? also pls send me requests! much love & let me know what u think!

masterlist

kento nanami is such a gentleman; it’s one of the things he prides himself on.

                he takes you on fabulous dates, kento’s so happy he has someone he can spend some of his hard-earned money on for once. his happiness is mostly silent, but he always makes sure to tell you how good of a time he had before he walks you to your door, finally asking to kiss you after the fourth date. he keeps a smirk on his lips for days afterwards, something totally out of the ordinary for him, it’s sure to make his coworkers raise questions.

                “someone’s finally getting some,” his cubicle mate teases, never seeing nanami have such a confident stride and smug look on his face. he can’t help his expression – it’s just the way he looks – but if by “some” his coworker means a kiss from the prettiest person in the world, he’s definitely getting that. that friday night, he’s going to pick you up again, his only goal being another peck on the lips to keep his new attitude afloat – and he prays you’ll say yes when he finally asks to be your boyfriend.

                after officially dating for a few months, he’ll put a small framed photo of you and him next to his computer; it’s his only decoration, along with a cute little note you wrote him he keeps taped to the corner of his monitor screen. if he’s having a particularly rough day, it only takes a small glance at your beautiful smile to remind him he’s officially the luckiest man in the world.

                even if kento’s burnt out from work, his gentlemanly ways never falter, making a point to keep taking you out at least once every weekend, although you’ve been dating for many months at this point. he usually tries new places with you, sometimes rotates the restaurants you seem to take a particular liking to. and if you want to do wine painting, or pottery, or bowling; he’s researching places with the best reviews, happily doing so, ensuring you’ll have the best time tipsy and sloppily painting a portrait of him. he keeps this painting up on his wall, it becomes one of his most prized pieces of décor because you made it.  

                he never ceases to show up at your doorstep, dressed to the nines, right at 7 o’clock, just as he promised he would be. he’s a dream.

                kento nanami is so ruthless, once you assure him that he can confide in you if he’s having a hard time with his job. he takes his frustration out in an unexpected way for a gentleman like him.

                “did i say you could stop?” you’ve never heard such a mean tone in his voice, as he’s gripping your hair, forcing you to look him in the eyes as pitiful tears roll down your face.  

                you shake your head no as best you can, a stinging pain growing in your scalp, continuing your motions from before. you’re so exhausted, never having expected your kind, refined, chivalrous boyfriend to act in such an unholy way.

                once he finally drops your hair, your head lulls down and falls on his toned shoulder, whimpering into his ear. your legs are on fire, but at this point, you’re too scared to stop, afraid of just how much rougher your sweet kento can be on you.

                you endure everything that he gives you, because after all, a gentleman like him deserves it.

[miswaken]

@sixsixfive asked: 🌙🔮🧪 in character development questions || accepting

🌙 CRESCENT MOON — what would you say is your current biggest dream and/or career aspiration and why?

There tend to be certain assumptions made of an artist's aspirations. Fame. Accolades. Money. Alice has witnessed firsthand what that kind of spotlight does to people, and if she'd craved it before her life with Alan, that certainly would have been enough to curtail her appetite. But that had never really been Alice's goal. She'd be lying if she said she never wanted an audience -- to create is to ask to be seen, even if it's just by one person. She meant what she said in that final, fateful video though.

"All I've ever wanted was for people to see the world like I do. For them to look at my photos and understand, for a moment, my perspective. My vision."

There were so many layers to that final exhibit, the one she never got to see come to fruition. There was the pragmatic angle, the knowledge from her last stint in the Dark Place that her work needed some level of finality for it to bleed through to the other side. If she wanted to take those images with her, they needed to be real. But more than that, some deeply exhausted and wearily triumphant part of Alice needed the world to understand what she'd lived through.

She needed people to believe her at last.

"The Dark Place -- the exhibit, not..." she gestures vaguely to the whole of creation that simmers around her. "I wish I could've been there, just for the opening night. I'll always wonder if it meant as much to people as I hoped it would. But then, if I was there, maybe it wouldn't have had the same impact."

Alice looks at the photos that litter every flat surface of the apartment -- and half the vertical ones, for that matter. Her own personal gallery. "I'd love to make something out of all of this, when everything is over. A Dark Place follow-up. The things I've seen here..." It's hard not to be impressed, sometimes. To not get excited about the unlimited artistic potential of a place that can be anything and everything and nothing all at once. It's as beautiful as it is terrifying. "I want others to see it, too. But somehow I don't think the FBC would take too kindly to that."

🔮 CRYSTAL BALL — what is a core memory from your childhood that you think defines you today?

"I didn't really date much, before Alan. I went on a few one-off dates in college, but before I met him my longest relationship was with this boy I dated for a whole three weeks before senior prom. Eric Powell. Ugh." She makes a scrunch-nosed face of obvious distaste at her juvenile life choices.

"We broke up the day before prom. He kept pushing me to sneak out so we could meet up with his friends the night before and get drunk on the football field -- and probably have sex under the bleachers. He spent days pestering me, and it was playful until he said I was being a lame prude about it. I wasn't scared of the drinking -- the sex thing, maybe -- but the thought of being out there at night, when all the lights were off... I just couldn't do it. A lot of kids already knew about my nyctophobia. It was hard to hide growing up, and rumors always get around. But people didn't always believe me, or they figured it wasn't actually that serious. I thought with him it might be different, so I told him the truth. I held his hand and told him more sincerely than I'd ever told anyone anything about how afraid I was of the dark. And he laughed at me."

It's an eye-roll worthy tale now, but at the time it broke Alice's heart. She can still remember dropping his hand and that pang in her chest when he just kept laughing. C'mon, Alice, you're not five anymore. Just admit you're too much of a princess to come.

"At least I told him not to bother picking me up for prom and made it halfway down the hall before I started crying. I promised myself right then and there that I'd never settle for anyone who made me feel lesser because of my fear. For all Alan's faults, he always took that part of me seriously." Except for that last night, in the cabin -- but then they both made their mistakes.

🧪 TEST TUBE — if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what is one thing you absolutely have to resolve and/or do before then?

A question that has her eyes casting downward. Alice knows now that she had no other choice. The world had to think she took her own life to ensure the cleanest break from reality possible, and then Alan had to believe it so he could hit rock bottom before coming out the other side. Her preparation had been methodical, almost clinical as she tied up as many loose ends as she could without appearing suspicious. She couldn't risk anyone trying to stop her.

"When I made up my mind, when I knew that I was going to jump, I--" It's hard to talk about. Hard to even think about. Not all of it had been for show. The desperation was so real, so raw. It almost didn't matter if diving back into the lake returned her to the Dark Place. If she was right, then she was putting herself in the best position to help Alan. If she was wrong, then either way the guilt and the torment would finally be over.

"There was so much that I couldn't tell people. People I loved. Love. If I was going to die tomorrow -- really die, not just... stage it -- I'd tell the people I care about the truth. All of it. I'd tell them everything that happened to me in Bright Falls and after, about the hauntings and the years I spent losing my mind over this insane, impossible reality. I'd want them to know the real reason why I did it -- that Alan was here, that I wasn't crazy, I was out of options."

She has to blink back tears and chew the inside of her cheek for a moment to re-gather herself.

"I'd want to tell them that I tried."

[quinnverse]

"Oh, I greatly exaggerate, do I? So, bedding a woman requires her permission, but marrying one does not? You ought to take less lessons from your hogs."

“A light peck is… tolerable in certain circumstances. But anything more than that is not.” She swallowed, pushing away the thought of him kissing her with any less propriety than the mere brush of his lips against her knuckles. Such a thought excited her and enraged her all at once. “You will keep your hands and lips to yourself.”

Surely, you must agree: this is beneficial for the both of us. At this, Emma nearly laughed. She would agree to no such thing. This entire ordeal may be beneficial for him, but she could not imagine a more restricting fate. She couldn't think of how being married to someone she did not love would ever be beneficial in the end. Arabella had teased her for being caught up on love, but Emma couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't be. Spending her life with someone, creating a family and building a world together required some form of respect between man and wife. Said respect would surely not be found in a Bolton-Dunster union.

“Being chained to a man that does not respect me doesn’t sound very beneficial at all, no. And I can't imagine being shackled to a woman who does not respect you in return is something you're eager to have.”

His eagerness to share a spit shake with her was surprising and a bit charming, if she had to admit. A part of her had hoped that he would be too disgusted to agree to it, that he would realize how childish and improper of a wife she would be. But his willingness to comply with her childish ways was endearing.

My restrictions are simple: don't fall in love with me, and we'll be golden.

"Well, I can promise you that will certainly not happen." As the reality of the situation began to sink in, Emma's mind raced. She hadn't truly thought of how she would convince him not to marry her. She'd pulled out most of the usual tactics already and none of them seemed to work. She would have to get creative with her schemes, while remembering to stay on guard for any of his devilish plans.

Emma straightened her posture, slightly puffing out her chest to accentuate her bosom and offered him a coy expression. She fluttered her lashes and adorned a flirtatious smile, uncharacteristically sweet compared to the way she held herself around him thus far.

“That’s up to you, sir. How would you go about courting any other young lady of my station?" She asked in a saccharine tone, mimicking Belle's 'lady voice' as best she could, even though it pained her to wear such a façade. When her cousin used the tender, girlish tone, men flocked to her. Sometimes (more often than not) it brought in men she had little to no interest in, but the voice also turned them to putty in her hands. It made them easier to manipulate and convince into things they might not have done if they were spoken to like an equal--or rather if they were spoken to the way Emma currently spoke to Mister Bolton. And while Emma's goal was not to attract him to her, she did require a bit of malleability for her plans to work.

"The competition begins now, so your decisions from here on out are up to you. I look forward to your futile attempts at wooing me, though, Mister Bolton.” She dipped into a curtsy before heading for the door. When she was halfway there, Emma froze and turned on her heel. With an alarmingly sweet smile remaining on her face, she spoke. "And if there is anything you need during your stay here," All at once, her smile dropped and she stared at him coldly. "Don't."

Her conjecture was as amusing as it was surprising. It wasn't exactly common for womenfolk to speak of the bedroom in mixed company, but over the past twenty-four hours, it had become abundantly clear that Miss Dunster was a far, far cry from "most women."

"If you somehow convinced me to marry you, perhaps I would be willing enough to show you what I like and how I like it. But I do not expect such a thing to happen."

Benjamin snorted. "So you keep saying... And yet the fact you do keep saying it suggests you are very much open to the possibility." Glancing in between her eyes and her mouth, he huskily assured her, "So am I."

Ironically, Benjamin knew that if he'd been introduced to Emma as his proper self and not his disguise, he wouldn't have had the boldness, nor the courage to speak like some sort of experienced rake. Still, it was a bit thrilling to see the color rising in her cheeks, as well as the responsive thrum of his pulse any time they locked eyes. She would assuredly be quite combative between the sheets -- she didn't have to convince him of that with each heated, inciting word.

Any fire he presently felt, alas, was quick to douse with her next snipe: “No, of course not, because you don’t need a woman’s approval, do you? You just take what you want because you can. As long as their father approves of it, you don't need their permission, right?"

The florid color in Benjamin's cheeks blossomed. "I think you greatly exaggerate," he snapped. But rather than defend himself, he allowed her mindless conjecture to continue.

"My father will not hear of this. Ever," she warned. "No matter the outcome. Win or lose, he is not to know of the deal, or else the agreement is forfeit. In addition, you will remain proper in public or else the deal is off."

"Fine," Benjamin agreed, his expression hard. "Though perhaps you should define proper..."

"You are to follow societal guidelines for proper courtship, or the contract is null. In turn, I will behave properly in public, too. Which means no striking, but also no snogging.”

Indicating the slight mark on his cheek, he wryly added, "Well, heaven forbid I no longer have such a lovely collection of your affections...but truly, I'm not even allowed to kiss your hand? Did you find my actions that distracting?"

A hint of pleasure entered his gaze at such a thought, and Benjamin moved closer to her, noting the way Emma stiffened any time he drew remotely near.

“If I find out that you are a spy or a conman, or that you do have a wife somewhere in the world, the deal is off. Do you understand?"

Benjamin blinked at that. There she went again, using that word...why was her first instinct to call him a spy? More troubling was the fact it was true, and yet he didn't understand what would make her so suspicious in the first place.

Shrugging it off, Benjamin affirmed, "Fine. Whatever you wish. But surely, you must agree: this is beneficial for the both of us? I wish for a sound endeavor that will secure my future, and you wish to be unwed so you can handle your affairs in the way you wish to do them." He shrugged. "We can have that together, Miss Dunster. As my wife, I'll let you do whatever godforsaken business transactions you wish, and in return, all I ask for is for the merging of our empires. Is that plan not worth the effort?"

It wasn't that Benjamin didn't believe he could win her over by Yuletide, but Emma was a very stubborn woman and he, in turn, wasn't sure if he'd even still be in town by then. The goal was to glean intelligence as quickly and efficiently as possible, and he couldn't very well do so if she was off trying to avoid him at every twist and turn.

“If you have any restrictions or rules you’d like to present, now is your chance. Otherwise…” Emma turned her head and spat into her open palm, then turned to offer her hand in yet another shake. “Shall we swear on it, Mister Bolton?”

She was undoubtedly expecting disgust for her actions, but Benjamin was oddly endeared by the tradition. As a boy, he and his closest friends would do both blood and spit oaths, so this was nothing new to him.

Moistening his mouth, Benjamin gave an ungentlemanly hock of his own, then slapped their palms together into a messy, unpleasantly wet shake. "I swear it," he agreed. "My restrictions are simple: don't fall in love with me, and we'll be golden."

Despite the teasing quality of his voice, Benjamin was also sincere. Real, genuine sentiment would not bode well for the two of them. He was here for one thing, and she another, so the entwining of heart strings would only serve to maim, rather than save all those involved.

Pressing her hand, he released her before adding, "And when should we start? Or rather, where? Since I imagine you won't let me woo you in private."

[moon-kyoko]

Harassment

I see you from afar, getting closer and closer, I feel your gaze all over me, and my heart goes wild. I feel nervous, I try to act cool. No, I’m not in love, and this is not a teen romance. I’m just scared, because I’m being harassed.

What an asshole you are to me. You’re a piece of shit because of no reason at all. How much I’d like to shout and scream at you: have I ever done anything to you, really?? Why won’t you talk to me directly, you coward?? How unfair is your judgement, how stupid your preferences... you deserve to be kicked in the face and insulted because you let your ego get the best of you. I can only hate you now.

In appearance you are oh soooo agreeable, so funny, so charismatic, so clever, soooo lovable, seemingly harmless, but in reality you’re an empty narcisist. Am I the only one privy to that information? Do I see something others do not? You’re obsessed with yourself, with your status in the academic circles, you’re in love with your own opinions. The way you use everyone to achieve your selfish goals makes me sick.

Why would you make me feel like I was actually worth something, then making me feel like a pile of garbage? Why me? Why not someone else? Why the love bombing, then the absolute and utter despise? You make me cry, you make me cry, you have made me cry so many times.... This wasn’t the promised neverland, where I was supposed to be this beloved prodigy, right? I don’t deserve this. I tell myself, I don’t deserve this. I see the boxes of pills waiting for me to drop the bomb ..... is this too risky? Would this be a fitting punishment? No. There’s no way I’d harm myself just to make you stop.

It’s not my fault that you cannot stand my presence. It’s not my fault you are unable to live with the tension, what do you expect? what do you want?? Why are you so damn weird, to start with? There’s nothing you can do to eliminate the tension, you just look at me with that desire, it’s killing me. There’s nothing I want to do because I don’t feel the same, and it’s no reason to torture me.

I’m under your controlling gaze all the time, turning me into an empty doll, faking my emotions, with a blank stare, or simply angry.... you try to read me all the time..... I have to isolate myself only to please you. Are you happy? Are you happy now? Of course not, you will never be satisfied. You won’t be happy until I disappear or you get what you want, until you get me. You use power in the most twisted way.

Sometimes I’ve thought, what if, what if I play the victim to save myself? what if I convince you that I love you, that I admire you, just like you want? So what if you use me? Would that be the end of the world? Oh, but there’s no way you would ever believe it.... I hate you way too much, and there’s no way I’d be that vulnerable.

At the face of all this thoughts I suffer and cry, I can’t do anything else but cry......... I’m so lonely, so lonely in this horrific juncture. No one else seems to notice anything....

Should I just face you, should I ignore you completely? With you, there’s no way to win..... It makes me sad that you never felt anything else than this utter disgust... Did you ever even like me, like you made me think...?

I will never love you.... you’re twisted..... and you will never win.... you just want me gone..... that’s not happening. That’s not happening. I have a right to be there, even if I turned out to be someone different than you expected. I’m not to be held responsible for your own fantasies.

[merrock]

I'm really interested in joining, but I've been very busy lately, so I was wondering how flexible you are with the activity checks? I'll try my hardest to be on consistently, I'm just worried I might get caught up for a four or five day chunk and end up losing my character because of it.

Good morning, anon!

This answer will be a little bit wordy, because we never want someone to join and not have the group meet their expectations, but also want to hopefully ease your mind by explaining exactly what we look for with activity!

Checks are conducted on random days -- normally once a week. Sometimes less, if we notice that everyone is active and participating, which is always the goal for admins, right? We do them on random days to avoid situations where players will only log in right before a check, post once, and then disappear, not to be heard from again until the next check.

When we decide to do a check, I look at each blog. If a character is on their 5th or 6th day of inactivity, they will be placed on 'warning' and given a reminder. This is simply to just give them a little nudge to remind them to watch activity, so that they don't get caught up in the next check! If you're on warning/reminder, you do not face removal.

If a character is on their 7th + day of inactivity, we will mark them down on check. From there, they are given that day, plus two more days to get active or contact the admins for a hiatus. If no contact is made and no activity is posted, we will then remove that character and give the writer 48 hours to reclaim them before the face claim is re-opened to the public.

If a character is placed on check three times in a very short amount of time, at their fourth check, we will unfollow them and ask them to reapply when they feel like they're up for it! If we notice a writer getting a lot of warnings in a short amount of time, we'll reach out to talk -- see if there's anything going on, something we can do to help, float the idea of pausing/dropping characters if they have multiples, but we won't remove someone for just being on warning/reminder unless it has become a huge issue.

Along with checks, we do just keep an eye out to make sure that writers are making an effort to be inclusive by replying to open starters, and are posting activity, and not relying on muse posts or photo sets. At this time, the requirement is only one post, but obviously we would prefer more whenever possible! Characters only posting one reply to avoid checks/warnings or to be taken off of checks/warnings will be marked down just so we can remember to check back in and see if that has improved.

We also periodically 'clear' our slates as far as activity goes. Normally after interest checks, which we try to do a couple of times a year, so everyone gets a fresh start with activity. And... honestly? Just communicate with us. Especially in cases where you only play one or two characters, we're going to be more lenient if you need more time (if you play more, we may ask you to consider pausing some until life eases up, since we don't want you to take on more than you can handle). We really value open and honest communication!

So! All of that out of the way, to tackle your exact concern: if you are worried about losing your role because every now and then you might get a warning, or even be put on check, I wouldn't stress it too much. It would have to be a recurring issue, something that's happening pretty consistently without much effort being put into the group. If you get put on check or warning and log in as soon as you have the time and do some replies, tackle an open starter or two, and make an effort to show that you want to be here, we get that, we wouldn't penalize someone for putting in the effort!

I hope that helps! And I hope that you'll give us a chance. I promise that as admins, we've never removed someone for just being busy and having a life, as long as they're genuinely interested in being a part of Merrock, we want them to be, too. xx

[lumitris]

┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . 𝒥𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈 ◞ 𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖊 .   ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ @bitbrumal​ ⤸   "i said it's fine." a blasé little wave, a distinct lack of friendly light in the depth of blue eyes.

ayaks manspreads as if their lives depend on it / & perhaps tonight they do. ( more so his reputation. ) teeth are steel where they are smiled bare at a representative of his own organisation — a spot of treason that is made careful note of at the back of his mind.         a comely albeit sharply muscled pair of legs is hooked over his thighs. his extremely unlikely variety of arm candy bears down on his lap, nestles upon him in a slanted lean. poor thing is trying so hard to look natural. diluc's tension is a tangible thing to the one tangled around him protectively.ragnvindr's a drag sometimes, but he's never liked the way some people look at the girls paid for their company.

—it'll be worth it, this touch of treason. for the horror bestowed upon diluc's family by tartaglia's colleagues & the experimentation that was very nearly the fate of all mondt's children, this much can be spared: attendance to a meeting best kept private. it won't cripple any higher goals. it'll just... well. soothe something, maybe. give a crumb of vengeance in return.

if the heir is willing to snark in lieu of a request, tartaglia is willing to be a little magnanimous.                 a little. >:3

he has diluc in his lap, meticulously disguised to make the most of his beauteous face. best way to back up this farce is—squeezing & lightly spanking his butt. "uhh. lord harbinger-?" for sure. it's covered in a thick layer of fabric; black as is his custom, but this falls into gravity & leaves little covered when it does — were it not for ayaks' palm curved firmly 'round him.                 to show a modicum of respect, he keeps all his fingers on top of the dress. booh.

"—i want this looked at    by an expert before the week is out."

[ ooc ] : this is assuming... a Lot. laughs. do with it what you will~                                                    ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢ / ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇ .  

The HUMILATION of exposure keeps him firmly at bay ━━━━ his heart is pounding as violently as teeth are clenched. Any mediocre movement, a slight twitch in muscles, a shift in his spot is enough to flare the annoyance of embarrassment. There was an end goal. He had reasons for this. 

             That’s what he had to continue to tell himself, while stuck in such a situation. 

Breath hitches, shoulders tensing as their exchange continues && he only prays ( when did he ever do that anymore? ) that the fatui diplomat leaves as swiftly as they had entered. It’s demeaning, so much so he does his best to pretend he isn’t present. If only to keep his cool, his calm, and remaining dignity.  

                                      No one could no about this.                                                                   ━━━━ NO ONE. 

         But it’s that WHACK that causes him to scarcely silence a groan, a growl threatening at his lips, fingers digging into the other’s shoulder. He leans closer, a threat whispered into the Harbinger’s ear,  ❝  Watch it- I swear ...  ❞  But god, he’s in no position to make any demands, or threats, or anything, && fuck he knows it. 

                              Thud thud. THUD THUD. thud- dammit, shut up. 

Breath in, and out. His head dips, shoulders rising and dropping with every sharp intake, && there’s nothing he can do to disguise his ... what? Annoyance? Panic? FLUSTER? He can feel the heat spread across his face, mixed in with the anger. Oh, he was going to make Tartaglia pay. That was a promise. 

                  Still, there was ... some respect left, given the decencies he kept despite the situation. There was much more that could of been done to humiliate him; it’s teasing, if anything. Annoying teasing, that he’d get his revenge on, but that was something he could DEAL with. 

                             Diluc could play along. He would. For both their sakes.                                      It would be done begrudgingly, however.