#sometimes they will be ooc and that's alright! it's a very interesting part of humans. we don't have one stricvt personaliy

[nyxire]

the compulsive urge to open google docs and spend the rest of your day writing on a half finished story that you haven't touched in 2 years when you have a million other things to be doing

[stargazer-balladeer]

Christmas Greetings from them [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Aether, Albedo, Amber, Barbara, Beidou, Bennett, Childe, Chongyun, Diluc Ragnvindr, Diona & Fischl.

Notes: .. AYE- TIME TO START WORKING- :DDD the child-like characters (qiqi, klee, diona, and paimon—) are all platonic. so no worries there- i also have to randomize Diona’s and Sucrose’s ;;w;; i’m just gonna imagine what’ll like if the two characters interact- some of this are long, some are short. So sorry abt the inconsistency :pp hope ya’ll like this! (Bc this is the first time i’ve done something like this- 🤧)

Ps: I have to cut this into several parts bc there is a maximum word count in one post- ;;w;; so i only added the ones that appeared here.

Additional Notes: based on the “wishes” thing. So like,, ya know, how we believe that if we make a wish on a star it’ll come true kind of thing? So,, when making a wish or prayer or something, they do it in a prayer position and think of it- and that person somehow receives it?? (I’m still not sure abt this part ;;w;; but let’s wing it-!). Also,, I refer “wish” as a prayer- 🤧 sorry if its confusing- hshs

Warning: some of the characters are OOC ;;w;; sorry-

Aether

With Paimon

“Oh? Is it already that time of the year again?”

“Of course it is! Don’t tell me you forgot-!”

“Oh-! Of course not, Paimon. Not with you constantly reminding me..”

“C’mon! Say your wishes! Oh.. also! You should probably say your wishes for your s/o!”

“Hmm.. you know what, Paimon. You could be useful sometimes.”

“Hey! What does that suppose to mean?!”

“Wishing stars.. this is for my beloved [Y/N], I wish that we can get to spend every Christmas season together. Though I may travel a lot, and may leave you one day, I hope that you’ll still love and cherish the limited time we have together. Always keep smiling that brilliantly for me, even if I’m gone. As much as this is becoming cheesy, keep me in your heart, okay? I’ll keep you in mine in return. Merry Christmas, [Y/N].”

Albedo

With Sucrose

“Sir Albedo-! Are you still busy with your research?”

“Hm..? Oh, Sucrose. Precisely, I’m almost done with it.”

“You should probably get some rest, sir! It’s almost Christmas Eve!”

“Christmas? Eve? Eh..? Is it already that late?”

“D-Don’t tell me you didn’t notice the time..?”

“I suppose so..”

“You should probably make your wish now! The stars are still out, so it’s not too late to make right now.”

“Ah, I forgot about that. Thank you, Sucrose.”

“Y-Your very welcome, sir Albedo-!”

“Stars that grants wishes, hear my wish. This is for my (princess/prince), my muse. How are you faring? I hope that you’ll come back soon so that we can celebrate this season of Christmas, and possibly more. Can you see the stars from where you are? Can you see how bright they are right now? I really do miss your presence.. I miss the sparkles in your eyes when I discover something new. I wish to see those again. Keep shining brightly for me, okay? Merriest of Christmas, my love.”

Amber

With Jean

“Amber? Are you still patrolling?”

“Acting Grandmaster Jean! Yep! I was about to head outside to patrol the area-!”

“You’ve been working very hard. I praise that trait though please don’t overwork yourself.”

“Hehe~ don’t worry, acting grandmaster Jean! I’m doing okay!”

“Well then, have you already wish?”

“Wish..? Ah! I forgot!”

“*chuckles* Of course. Better make that wish now before the stars vanish.”

“Okay! Thanks for reminding me, acting grandmaster Jean!”

“My pleasure, Amber.”

“Wishing Stars. I hope it isn’t too late to make a wish now-! I kinda forgot, so sorry.. hehe. Anyway, this is for my partner! How are you out there? Actually, where exactly are you? I kinda forgot where you went.. hehe, sorry. Make sure to eat plenty of food, okay? It’s important to eat 3 times a day to maintain a healthy body-! Also, you shouldn’t mind your weight! As long as you’re healthy, it doesn’t matter if you weigh alot! I’ll still love you no matter what! Merry Christmas, [Y/N]! Come visit me again!”

Barbara

With Noelle

“Oh? You’re still awake, Barbara?”

“Hm? Oh, Noelle! Good evening! Hehe, yeah. I was thinking of what wish I should make.”

“Ah. The legend of the Wishing Stars. I’m surprise that you believe in that sort of things.”

“Well.. it isn’t bad to dream, right?”

“I suppose. If I may, why not wish about your s/o?”

“[Y/N]..? Hm.. actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea-! Thanks so much, Noelle! You’re truly a good friend!”

“Hehe.. I’m just glad that I’m a help to you, Barbara.”

“O Wishing Stars, hear my wish. This is for my beloved [Y/N], of whom I wish to see again. Please let them be unharm. I wish I could accompany them in their journey but I have my role here as well. So I wish them the best in their travels. Please come visit though, I wish to see your face again, [Y/N]. And I wish to heal all the wounds that was cast upon you. Though I cannot heal the scars, you shouldn’t be afraid to show them. For they tell a tale of an adventure you went through. Come back in one piece okay? Merry Christmas, my beloved. Sweet dreams.”

Beidou

With Ningguang

“.. huh? Oh, what a surprise seeing you here, Ningguang.”

“I suppose it is quite a surprise, seeing as we coincidentally bump into each other in a hill. Tell me, what business do you have here?”

“I could say the same with you. It isn’t everyday you bump into a Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing, in a secluded place like a hill no less.”

“I believe it’s the same reason as yours, peace and quiet.”

“Ah, same. Though, there’s another reason why I’m here.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“To see the stars. Have you heard about the legend of the Wishing Stars?”

“Ah, I’ve heard about it but never really took an interest on them.”

“Well, the simplest explanation is that when you wish upon a star, it’ll come true or be sent to that person.”

“Interesting. It is quite interesting what a human mind can come up with.”

“Hm.. myth or not, I was thinking of doing one anyway.”

“Go ahead. Don’t mind my presence.”

“Kinda hard when you’re the Tianquan..”

“Do you wish to make me leave then?”

“Nah, you can stay.”

“Alright.”

“I have no idea on how to do this but- o wishing star, hear my wish..? Can you send this wish to my second mate? I wish you were here, to celebrate the holidays with me and the crew. It’ll be a blast if you were here.. Though I understand that you can’t be here because of your personal reasons. Though it would be nice to see you again.. I hope that wherever you are, they are treating you well. Your health comes first, okay? Stop thinking of others for a change.. though that’ll be impossible knowing you.. just keep smiling, okay? Your smile is a treasure afterall, a treasure that I selfishly want to keep. Merry Christmas, my second mate. May we cross the seas together again.”

Bennett

With Barbara

“Oh, it’s you again, Bennett. Are you injured again?”

“Hey Barbara! Nope, not today!”

“Thank goodness. I see that lady luck decided to give you a break atleast.. anyways, if you’re not injured, why’re you here then?”

“Ah, I came to ask you on how to send a letter or something to [Y/N]! I don’t know what to get them, and I don’t have a clue on where they are either-! Besides, it’s almost Christmas..”

“Hm.. I’m not sure if this is true but why not give her a wish from the stars?”

“Wish? From the stars?”

“You know.. the legend of the Wishing Stars.”

“oh.. Oh.. OH! I see! That’s brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?! Thanks Barbara! I owe you yet again!”

“*chuckles* I’m happy to help you whenever, Bennett. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas too, Barbara!”

“Wishing stars, can you please send this to [Y/N]? I know I haven’t gotten anything for you this year, but next year, I’m gonna make it up to you! I’ll give you the best gift ever! Hope you’re doing well! Fischl is doing great, along with the people in the Adventurer’s Guild. Oh, and guess what? I didn’t get hurt today! I guess lady luck decided to give me a break.. hehe.. you know.. it isn’t the same without you. But take your time! You don’t need to come back immediately! I’ll wait for you! Even if it takes years for you to come back, I’ll wait! So please, come back okay? Me and the Benny’s Adventure’s Team will be waiting for you! Eat healthy and smile more! Merry Christmas! Love ya!”

Childe

With Teucer

“What are you thinking of, brother?”

“! Teucer! You know it’s rude to sneak up on people-!”

“Actually, I’ve been calling you for the past minute. You just haven’t responded to any of them.”

“.. really?”

“Really really.”

“Well, now that you have my attention, what do you need?”

“Mommy is asking when we will meet your s/o.”

“Eh? They want to meet [Y/N]?”

“Yep! Their curious on who they are after you mentioning them a dozen times in the letters you sent for them!”

“.. I guess I’ve been mentioning them a bit too much.”

“So, when? When?”

“Well, not anytime soon I’m afraid.”

“Aww.. what gives?”

“Their on a journey afterall. When they get back, I promise I’ll let them meet [Y/N].”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay..”

“Goodnight, Teucer. It’s almost your bedtime.”

“Goodnight, brother..”

“Stars above, would you listen to my wish, I wonder? Will [Y/N] even receive this? Oh well, couldn’t hurt to try. How’ve you been? Hope you’re still alive. Actually, I’m pretty sure you’re still alive. You’re strong afterall. Anyways, my family wants to meet you. You’ve already met Teucer which made the rest of my family jealous because, for some reason, they also want to meet you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to meet you? You’re amazing in every way, [Y/N]. When you return, I’m gonna ambush you and kidnap you to meet my family. That sounds like fun actually.. hm.. might as well do that. Also, you better be getting some sleep. I don’t want to see any bags under your eyes. Hahaha.. Merry Christmas, [Y/N]. May the Tsaritsa protect you from harm.”

Chongyun

With Xingqiu

“.. oh, it’s you.”

“Eh? Aren’t you atleast excited to see me?”

“Not really..”

“Boo.. and here I consider you a close friend-!”

“Well.. you are certainly a friend. But are we really that close?”

“That’s cold coming from you, Chongyun.”

“.. did you just made a pun?”

“Yes. And I have no regrets.”

“*sigh* why are you here?”

“I came here to inform you about something I found!”

“If its a prank, then leave me out of it.”

“It’s got something to do with your s/o~!”

“..”

“I got your interest, didn’t I?”

“*sigh* on with it.”

“So, one of the books I’ve read contained a legend called the legend of the Wishing Stars.”

“The legend of the Wishing Stars? Sounds like a fantasy that someone came up with during story time.”

“Well, anyways. It says, if you wish upon a star during the night, your wish, or prayer, would be heard.”

“And how is this related to [Y/N]?”

“Well, since [Y/N] is out and about, why not make a wish for their safety?”

“But how would we know if that’s true?”

“Couldn’t hurt to try now, would it?”

“.. how would I know this isn’t one of your pranks?”

“I promise it isn’t! Most people know of it actually-! Even the traveller!”

“Traveller? Oh.. I guess it can’t hurt to try it out.”

“Hmhmm! I gotta go now though. Afterall, I just escape from home. See ya!”

“And off he goes. *sigh* he really does do what he pleases.”

“Xingqiu didn’t actually tell me how to do this so I’m gonna guess instead. Stars in the sky, is it true that you’ll grant my wish? Well, it’s not like you can answer so I’m just gonna guess that’s a yes. How are you, my snowflake? I presume that you have a safe journey in wherever you are. If you ever feel peckish, just eat some ice cream, it always works. Nothing exciting is happening right now. Xingqiu and Xinyan are their usual annoying selves, and Xiangling tried to feed me a new recipe she made. Say, when are you coming back? Where exactly are you? Maybe I can follow, wherever you are. But my duty as a exorcists lies here. I hope that pendant I gave you serves its uses to repel any ghosts that dare to haunt you. Oh, it’s almost Christmas. Merry Christmas, snowflake. I hope that next year, you would be here with me instead of somewhere else. Until we meet again.”

Diluc Ragnvindr

With Kaeya

“And what exactly are you doing here?”

“Is that a way to talk to a regular customer here?”

“Shouldn’t you have duties to fulfill, Cavalry Captain Kaeya?”

“Oh? We’re using our titles now, master Diluc?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“*laughs* alright alright. I surrender.”

“Are you really here for the wine? Or are you here to annoy me as usual?”

“Well, I will admit that I initially came here for the wine but I brought a present for you, for Christmas.”

“I hope it isn’t another vase.”

“*laughs* of course it isn’t. Do you know the legend of the Wishing Stars?”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“So..”

“So?”

“Aren’t you going to make one?”

“Why would I participate in a childish myth?”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try now.. especially to your beloved s/o.”

“.. you’re just trying to provoke me.”

“And it’s working~”

“Hrm..”

“C’mon~ don’t you want the best for [Y/N]?”

“What’s your end goal?”

“.. pardon?”

“What will you gain in the end if I do make a wish? Don’t tell me you’re doing this out of the ‘goodness’ of your heart.”

“... hm.. I still wonder that.”

“You’re just playing around with me, aren’t you?”

“Look, we all want the best for [Y/N]. If you want to do it, then do it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. I just came to inform you about that silly legend.”

“.. do you even believe in that?”

“Who knows?”

“..”

“I gotta go now. Merry Christmas, sir Diluc.”

“...”

“I can’t believe that I’m participating in a silly legend but, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try. Wishing stars, shining brilliantly in the night sky, would you hear my wish? I wish the best for [Y/N]. I wish they are faring well and that they aren’t having any problems with enemies like Hilichurls or Treasure Hoarders in wherever land they are in. But, won’t you guide them back to me? I admit that I miss them dearly and I worry about them constantly. I miss everything about them, their smile, their laughter, their eyes, their hair, their warmth, everything. I want to hold them in my arms again and kiss them. When I meet them, I’ll remind them of my love again. Hopefully, next year, they would stay by my side in the winter season. This is a wish I hold dearly. May Barbatos.. or that bard.. keep you safe. Merry Christmas, my love. I’ll be waiting for you here.”

Diona

With Mona

“.. who are you?”

“Me?! Why, I’m Mona! The famous Astrologer of Teyvat! I have mastered and know astrology more than anyone in Teyvat!”

“Yeah.. and I’m a dog.”

“I- You don’t believe me?!”

“Nope.”

“Urgh-! And who are you?”

“Hmph. I’m Diona. One of the bartenders in Cat’s Tail.”

“... how are you working when you look so young though?”

“It was honestly just a joke at first but big sister Margaret decided to hire me for real.”

“.. ah, I see.”

“So, why are you here?”

“Well, this is the best view of the stars of all of Teyvat.”

“Ah, I guess so..”

“Say, do you know of the legend of the Wishing Stars?”

“My dad used to tell me stories about that.”

“Well, I supposed it could be use as a bed time story.”

“Wait, it isn’t just a myth?”

“Who knows? There’s no proof of its existence but some people swear they could hear the person’s voice in their head. It’s still unclear on how this things happen, but that’s what makes it wonderful, don’t you think? So many mysteries yet so little answers..”

“.. I don’t think like that.”

“Really?”

“Hmhm.. All I wanted to do is to make a wine so disgusting that nobody would want to drink it. I don’t really see anything else besides that.”

“Ah.. I see.”

“Say, if I make a wish right now, would they receive it?”

“Well, it’s not certain but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Afterall, we humans just keep trying, never giving up. That’s one beautiful thing in humanity.”

“...”

“Why don’t you make a wish right now?”

“Hrm.. okay.”

“Just put your hands in a prayer position and close your eyes and wish in your mind.”

“O shining, wishing stars. I’ve only heard about you through dad and this random lady. But would you hear me out? I just want to know if my friend is okay. Their name is [Y/N]. I wanted to know if their safe and alive. It’s only been a few days, but I’m already missing them. They better be alright or else they’ll be in trouble when they get back! I want them back so that I can finally achieve the dream of ruining the wine industry! Hehe.. I hope they aren’t overexerting themselves out there, I know what their like and I’m honestly worried. Please bring them back to me in one piece. I still have to teach them the bow-! I want to give them the present I have for them. I made it myself, a bracelet! Dad help me make it! Merry Christmas, [Y/N]! Come back and be my partner in crime again!”

Fischl

With Bennett

“Hey! Fischl!”

“Hm? Ah, why isn’t it Bennett from the Benny’s Adventure Team. To what I owe a pleasure to?”

“I was just wondering if you’ll be going to the party that the Adventurer’s Guild is hosting. So, are you going?”

“Hm. If one has time, then perhaps. Not everyone has free time afterall.”

“Ehh? You’re still busy? Shouldn’t you relax for a bit? Whenever I talk to you, you always seem busy.”

“It is, afterall, a Prinzessin der Verurteilung noble duty.”

“Ah.. I suppose.”

“Is there anything else you would like to say before we part ways?”

“Oh yeah! Do you know of the legend of the Wishing Stars?”

“I am aware of it but how does this have any interest in our current predicament?”

“.. uh..”

“What mein Fraülein is saying is, how did this legend became an interest to you?”

“Ah! Well, it’s becoming popular among the people around this time of year. Maybe you can make a wish for.. [Y/N]?”

“.. perhaps.. we’ll try to find some spare time later on to do the wish.”

“Alright! Well, I gotta go. See ya later, Fischl, Oz!”

“Farewell, young lad.”

“Farewell..”

“Are you, perhaps, planning on making a wish right now, mein Fraülein?”

“There is no impending dangers around us, correct? Then perhaps, I can spare some time right now to get it off my mind.”

“Whatever you wish to do is what I’ll abide to, mein Fraülein.”

“O great, shining Wishing Stars, hear thy wish, one that is coming from heart. One wonders how the other fares? Have the Gods and Goddesses gifted them protection in wherever they are? Because making the Prinzessin der verurteilung worry like this is unheard of. Still, I would be utmost be grateful to find any sign of them still active. I, Fischl, Prinzessin der verurteilung, want them to return immediately in whatever journey they are in. Though I would still understand if they need more time to search for what they need to search. I.. honestly miss them and their warmth. I want them to hold me again, to reassure me that I don’t need to be perfect always. Ah-! I broke off of character! My apologies-! Anyways, since it is the season of winter festivities, I wish them a merriest of Christmas. May next year come and let us celebrate it together as one. I’m forever in love with you, please come back to me in one piece.”

[dwimpala-67]

Whatever Happens....

My two cents on the whole Prequel-Gate ...

Warning: The opinions expressed are purely personal and have no bearing on any person and if they do it’s merely coincidental and are without intention. If you choose to read this, it’s solely at your own risk and the writer is not responsible for any consequences thereof.

Jared and Jensen have been at the heart of Supernatural for past fifteen years. J2 - along with the show have been the source of joy for everyone in the fandom.  We’ve seen them grow up, seen their friendship evolve and seen the way they interact with each other. We fell in love with them, with the beautiful friendship they share, and their compassion and empathy and strength and understanding. These two beautiful individuals weaved their way into our hearts. Somehow, they’ve become a part of our lives. And we trusted them, like we do with any individual that is close to us in real life.

The end of Supernatural was bitter sweet for many of us, especially the J2 shippers. We could see our beloved show being ruined and we all thoughts perhaps, it was time to end it but secretly still wanted a miracle to happen and the story line to be back to its true canonical nature without the OOC story line that was being fed to us. Then came the announcement that Supernatural would end with season 15. Even if we knew the it was inevitable, it was still a shock. We have a saying back in my culture: “Whatever has a beginning, has to have an ultimate end.” And true to that, it was time for Supernatural to end. It doesn’t mean we had to be happy about it. After all, this was the show that meant a lot, personally to many of us.  To see it coming to an end was painful, shocking, even heartbreaking. But we accepted it eventually because life must go on.

With end of the show, we had to accept another reality. To watch our lovely pair - Jared and Jensen- go their separate ways. For 15 years, there never has been a moment where J2 weren’t in each other’s pockets. We saw them refusing to acknowledge personal space, saw them making heart eyes at each other, saw them going on dinner and lunch dates, saw them living together, getting married the same year, saw them grow their family together, saw them living in Austin together, saw them doing campaigns together, saw them golfing together, saw them being there for each other, making each other smile, saw them having each other’s back. We practically saw their love blossoming - for some it was a unique friendship and for some it was more than that. I don’t mean to point anyone out here, but the bottom line is that everyone of the J2 fans saw an ideal relationship between two people we loved the most. We choose to believe in what we saw.  And for us to suddenly see them being away form each other was hard to digest. It still is!

But we chose to believe everything was good, because we believed what our eyes saw. The way Jared and Jensen talked about each other in interviews even after the finale, the way they spoke at the virtual conventions, the way they interacted on social media and even the few instances of fans seeing Jared in Colorado exactly the time it was Jensen’s birthday, the way Jared knew about Jensen’s Soldier Boy suit before anyone else, and I could mention countless such instances that made us believe that the relationship these two idiots share was special and perfect. The kinda thing that can be called “made for each other.”

One fine day, we came to know not everything was as we believed it to be. It turned out Jensen did something by not telling Jared anything about it when the latter has been an integral part of the original concept. Everyone was beyond shocked. Each one of us felt betrayed, angered, pained at the way our beloved pair had a public fallout. Some chose to take sides and some decided to leave the fandom while others decided to be angry and disappointed in Jensen. There was despair all around and no one knew what was going on behind the closed doors. The only thing we knew was Jared was hurt and Jensen was the reason behind it.

I won’t go into the what, why and how of the whole fiasco, because by now, everyone has their own theories as answers to these questions. I have mine too. I see these theories as some sort of “justification” from our side to make sense of the situation. It’s not wrong because we’re searching for answers. We’re also searching for answers we will never get. (Unless either of the J’s decide to speak on it.) But there are a few questions that I feel are important to be addressed.

Do we have the right to feel angry and hurt over the issue? Absolutely Yes.

Do we have the right to take sides? Of course.

Are our feelings of hurt and pain that we resonated with Jared valid? Hell yes.

Everyone has a coping mechanism and the initial emotions or reactions were absolutely valid. However, it’s what happened later that has me thinking.

1. Do we have the right to know what happened behind the scenes? Probably but we would never. There lies the uncertain feeling of “how should I proceed from here?” and “How do I feel about it?”

2. Do we have the right to demand an explanation or an apology from Jensen? Absolutely no.

3. Do we have the right to throw vile words at/abuse the people involved? Hell no.

I would like to look at the whole thing in perspective. This has affected many of us and perhaps woken us up with a hard slap of reality.

For all of the 15 years, we’ve been fed with the “happy couple” image and for us, maybe the boys became the image of the “perfect couple with no issues” and when there was a very public spat between the two, there was a serious damage to our perception. This is where people didn’t know how to react. Many spoke out their emotions clearly, many were sad, confused and scared and many decided to be bitter. Few decided to leave I have no problem with it, I don’t judge, as I said earlier everyone has their own coping mechanism.

I feel like the issue is, as fans we are here to celebrate and have fun and not become entitled to know the truth or demand answers from the celebrities. Sometimes we forget entitlement is a delusion based on self centeredness. The demand to know what happened or the demand for Jensen to apologize in a particular manner cannot be the way we deal with the situation.

We need to consider the fact that the people we idealize, in this case J2, are also that - “people” or “Humans” to be more precise. Humans make mistakes. Just like we do in our everyday life. the problem with celebrities is, anything they do feels like “more than life” size. Even a small compliment makes us go “aww” and a disagreement/misunderstanding makes us go “Omg! They’re enemies.” It’s normal reaction because we hold them in the highest regard like “celebs/fan favs can do no wrong.” So, when this happened with J2 everyone had a reaction like this was the end or it has ruined it for me, or I’m done with this fandom. There were also a few reactions like anger and entitled demands. I always say false sense of entitlement always brings you doom rather than happiness.

The fact remains, Jensen disappointed all of us. A huge blow was dealt to the “happy couple” image and we all were left floundering. I was observing the reactions and I suddenly realized I’m far too much invested into the lives of two actors whose lives are already complicated. I mean, after the entire chaos, I too felt sad, angry and disappointed. It was upsetting me more that it should. Fandom is a space where I come to escape from real life. But if Fandom starts affecting my real life so bad as to make me upset, I felt like there’s something wrong. It shouldn’t be the reverse of what I would rather have the fandom to be, which is a happy place or the place where I go too relive my stress. And if the apparent relationship status of two actors affects me this much, it’s time to take a step back, evaluate and then proceed.

the other day, I was reading a twitter thread full of theories and according to the fans who was right and who was wrong and etc, etc, etc. I found, it shouldn’t matter to me to judge who was right and who was wrong. I’m in no position to judge who felt what, because in no way am I the party involved in the conflict. It’s a conflict between J2, who had some issues obviously and they manages to talk about it and even let us know that they are good. Now, I personally, felt like if the J’s claim they’re alright, then why should I doubt or even theorize about how their friendship has taken a toll. If someone tells me they’re fine, I usually believe them to be fine, unless I see something contrary to the fact. In this case, either of the J’s didn’t comment further on the matter and just as I was watching everyone calm down, other elements decided to jump into the muddy waters and splatter it everywhere.

The interesting thing about Kripke’s tweet was “assumption.” This word “assumption” is a very interesting word and has the capacity to blow up even the most calming waters. So, Kripke assumed, and then based on Kripke’s assumption, everyone else assumed. I’m just pointing out what happened, in no way am I justifying any of the J’s behavior. Just a thought. So assuming Kripke was right we assumed Jensen deliberately kept Jared out of the project and the issue escalated even more. Everyone was jumping the gun and then as miraculously Kripke has tweeted, he also deleted those tweets. Then came the damage control.

When Jensen and Jared had tweeted about the “truce” I thought the matter was supposed to be put to rest. Perhaps Kripke deleting the tweets and then Jensen going back to promoting his prequel was their way of brushing off the conflict and focusing more on what was more important to them: The Winchesters prequel. Another theory to add to the already existing million ones..lol.

Does this mean we should be hateful and abusive towards Jensen? No.

Our feelings of disappointment are valid but it doesn’t mean I have aright to be abusive at Jensen. No matter how he acted nothing gives me the right to throw abuse at anyone unless I’m the one who’s directly involved in the conflict. They way I see it, as a fan, I was hurt and caught off guard but I am in no position to judge either Jensen or Jared, especially when they say they’re alright. I decide to trust them. I choose to trust them, just I chose to decide they were the made for each other friends in the past.

There’s this another saying that I remember “To Err is human, to forgive is Divine.” It’s not as if either of the J’s have been flawless as a person. Everyone has some shortcomings and so do they. As a fan, I need to find the same level of “acceptance” that I do when I’m in the similar situation in real life. As a fan I need to accept that Jared and Jensen too are going to have some issues going ahead in life. Just because they are actors doesn’t mean there won’t be miscommunication or misunderstanding. They’re not perfect. They are bound to make mistakes. Just think that because this was a very public fallout, we came to know about the disagreement, try to think that in past 15 years how many times did the J’s had these disagreements and had to deal with them without telling us? No matter how huge fan you are, no one can ever claim that they now what goes behind the scenes in the celeb’s lives and same goes with J2.

We know what kinda place Hollywood is, and the J2 tinhats already have theories about bearding and stuff, and yet the J’s have remained positive throughout. There must have been contracts and papers and the “powers that be” who are involved in regulating their lives. It’s one of the many countless possibilities. We don’t know many things about their lives (even we’d like to claim otherwise). The information we get is just a 0.01% of what actually is happening. All we do is “assume” on the basis of their SM interaction or the way J2 appear in public. It’s all imagery.

They’ve been a source for inspiration for many. So, a public fallout doesn’t mean we should overlook the past. But we choose to look at it in a way that is suitable to us. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. If some of us feel like siding with Jared, it’s all good and if some of us feel like siding with Jensen, it’s all good. It’s their personal opinion and no one has the right to judge them or call them out for that.

For me, I’ve come to a conclusion that the secured bubble that I was living in has finally burst and given me a chance to look at things objectively. No matter what happens in future, I’m here to stay as long as I enjoy the fandom. If I let it affect me more than is plausible, perhaps then it’s time for me to rethink about the power I give the Fandom over me. Because it’s my choice. I alone have the choice to either let the negativity affect me or see the positive side. There’s a saying that goes, “You yourself alone are your own enemy and your true friend. The choice is yours.”

If J2 claim to be alright with each other, then I choose to believe them. Reason is simple. Because it helps me find some peace. It helps me cool down my emotions and helps me go back to enjoying the little things in fandom that bring me happiness.

 Don’t get upset with people and solutions because both are powerless without your reactions.

Let the drama continue....

After this, if you fell like unfollowing me, the door is always open.

In the end, whatever happens, happens for good. If it’s meant to be, then I’ll be the happiest and if it’s not, well, it’s beyond my control.

I love them both.

Peace and Love.

- A J2 fan.

[gaehashira]

“You’re all my heart wants, I promise you, I will find you again.” He whispered to the open air, eyes dropping downwards to the stiff body of his love.

CONTENT WARNING: Zhongli has to continuously watch his soul mate die over and over again, hurt/comfort, terminal illness, it’s like 2004/2005 modern world/canon time-line. Aether and Xiao are dating, maybe OOC Zhongli.

Ever since Zhongli could remember he had always felt a pull towards certain people over his very long life time, it wasn’t until he had decided to live amongst the humans that he realized just what he was being pulled towards.

He remember’s meeting Umi for the first time right outside the wangshu inn, the Archon had been visiting an…old friend - if that’s what he could even consider Xiao at this point. -

He could hear the jumbling words of a human who was apologizing at nearly a million miles a second; the Amber eyed male simply listened before he heard a deep males voice respond with a harsh tone.

“Umi-“ so that was the jittery human’s name. “This is the seventh vase you’ve dropped this week. They’re very expensive do you understand that?” The owner of the voice sounded exasperated, as if he was seconds away from raising a hand to the poor person on the other end of their conversation.

“I know, I know! I’m sorry, it’s just- I’ve been getting these weird dizzy spells and sometimes I completely fall over and-“ the other is cut off abruptly, a frustrated noise leaving the other man’s mouth.

“Umi, save your excuses for someone who actually cares, just…go home for the rest of the day and be careful of the abyss order, okay?” The voice sounded exasperated and then the sound of footsteps walking away began to fade.

Zhongli finally rounded the corner, he had fully expected both of the voices to have gone by then but, there was one left; a boy no older than nineteen (maybe twenty at most.) was crouched down staring at a cut across the palm of his head, the Brown haired male didn’t understand why a flash of extreme worry shot through him, but the moment Amber met Malachite the other snapped out of his thoughts, Zhongli’s insides felt warm; almost like they were on fire. He felt confused.

He blinked.

Then spoke: “Are you alright?” He tilted his head slightly to the side, eyes sliding over the mage hat that sat atop the boys head, it was a reddish color; it had a little moon pin on the side of it.

He must like the moon, then.

His eyes slid down further before resting on the vision clasped in the center of the males chest, ah. So he was a Pyro user, interesting.

He watched as the boy tucked a stray strand of deep blue hair behind one of his ears, he looked sheepishly up at the taller; now standing up.

“Um..yeah, I just uh..got a bit dizzy and broke a vase and cut my hand trying to pick it up.” His voice came out as a soft whisper, uncut hand pulling at the same strand of hair he had just tucked behind his ear. “Oh! Uh! My names Umi, by the way! You’re new here right?” He asked, before pulling out a piece of pure white cloth from the little bag strapped to his side, he wrapped it around his hand before smiling brightly at the taller.

Zhongli may not have realized it then, but Umi was about to become a pretty big part of his life.

Two years.

Two godforsaken years.

That’s how long it took for Umi to realize one: Zhongli was an archon and two, said archon had been courting the human.

Eventually they got together, but Zhongli always had the thought of what he would do if Umi went out on a mission and just.. didn’t come back one day.

So bad to the point Zhongli didn’t let the small male go on missions with anyone but him, Xiao or the traveler.

The first time they laid together, Umi had been so overwhelmed in pleasure he had cried.

Zhongli wiped his tears and whispered sweet words into the others ears, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead.

The dizzy spells seemed to be getting worse, it was hard for the boy to stay upright some days.

Others? He couldn’t even get out of the bed or open his eyes because every little thing caused his vision to swim.

Eventually the inevitable happened.

One day, While Zhongli had been working out funeral plans for a well known innkeeper, The traveler came bursting through the door covered in dried blood, his left eye swollen shut and his body swaying from left and Right.

barely had time to get the words “Umi-“ out before Zhongli was standing with such haste the chair he had been sat in hit the wall with such force it created a dent in it.

Zhongli was out the door, Aether wobbling behind him.

The older man turned on the blonde, eyes alight with several different emotions “where?” His voice came out shaky.

“Tianqiu Valley, there-there were too many, one was too strong and-and-“ Aether’s voice cracked, before he whispered one single word. “Xiao.” The adeptus materialized out of thin air, taking in the form of the blonde before a look of rage crossed over his features for only a second before he caught the blonde as his legs gave out, the blonde pressed against his partners shoulder as a sob tore from his throat. “I-I couldn’t- I was weak. It’s my fault-“

Zhongli seemed to vanish, and a split second later he was wandering through Tianqiu valley looking for his love.

“Umi’s okay. He’s fine. He’s just probably got a concussion and some broken bones. He’s okay.” He mumbled to himself, before he looked up at a tilted slope.

A small bloody hand hanging down is what caught his attention, he rushed up the side hoping and praying that wasn’t who he thought it was.

He could hear shuddering breaths coming from the crumbled form

Before Malachite eyes lit up in recognition before glazing over again “Zhong-?” The form wheezed out eyes fluttering a bit before closing.

Zhongli dropped to his knees, shaking hands smoothing through blue hair he now noticed was caked in blood.

“Is-is um- Aether-“ the boy tried to speak, Zhongli made a wet sounding noise before nodding a bit. “He’s okay. Xiao’s got him, now you have to be brave for me okay, baby? We’re gonna- we’re gonna go get you some help, yeah?” He spoke, he elected to ignore the fact his voice was shaking. The boy smiled softly, head nodding as best he could.

“Mmmhm..” he mumbled, eyes fluttering open once. “Got-got dizzy, got hit- then-then they stomped on me. Feet were the size of my head.”

Umi could feel his hands begin to grow colder as time went on, Zhongli watched as the boys breathing picked up speed before he very gently lifted the smaller in his arms, wincing softly at the pained whine that followed the movement. “I know, I know it hurts but you gotta be brave, yeah? Then we can visit Mondstat, yeah? You’ve not been back since you were a child. You miss the smell of the wind, remember?” The man began to walk, he called on his power, seeming to teleport from Tianqiu to right outside Liyue harbor.

He had to get Umi to a healer and fast, he could feel blood soaking through the boys clothes and slipping through his fingers and over his hands.

As he made his way through liyue harbor he noticed people stopping to stare, what he also noticed?

Umi wasn’t breathing.

The man began to pick up speed before he was all but sprinting towards a well known and respected healer, by the time he made it the Archon was panting

He felt exhausted something he had never felt before.

“Please- I need-“ he could barely get the words out, he looked down and choked on what he was trying to say, his loves eyes were just so…so glassy and empty as if they were eyes of a porcelain doll instead of the love of his life.

“Come on Umi, please- we were gonna go exploring together remember? Your birthday is in a couple days and you were so excited because we were finally able to have alone time together.” His voice trailed off before he fell to his knee’s clutching the male to his chest as he openly cried into his blood soaked body.

It was mere minutes before hands were gently on him, pulling him away from the body and another pair of hands were lifting Umi.

Zhongli fought against the hands holding him before he he just…he gave up, and he turned and pressed his face against the other person’s shoulder, sobs making his shoulders heave and making his voice crack as he wailed and cursed himself for letting this happen.

It took a while to notice it was the Yaksha that was holding him, small arms wrapped securely around him.

It took twelve years after that day for Zhongli to intermingle with society again, two hundred years for him to feel that pull again.

This time? In mondstat.

~~~

Now, Zhongli hadn’t been there since barbato’s had vanished.

The male packed some books, and other things to keep him occupied. - he hadn’t used his powers in a while, he couldn’t even remember if he could teleport.-

The human’s had invented cars (maybe one hundred and nineteen years before the current day? He couldn’t remember.) Zhongli couldn’t grasp the concept of driving so he just left it to Aether.

Now Aether was a marvelous driver, except when he and Xiao would bicker and Aether would slam on breaks and make Xiao take over driving.

Besides that? He was amazing.

Zhongli often stared in wonder at the well and the…pedals? He could recall what they were called but he didn’t have a clue about how they worked.

As the blonde in the driver’s seat pulled off, Zhongli sighed before flipping open one of the books he had packed, realistically he knew the trip couldn’t take that long but Incase it did the male brought back up books.

Pretty soon his body began to slowly shut down before his eyes began to slide shut.

Eventually the male had fallen asleep, head rested against the window.

~~

Someone nudged him, before tapping on his face.

“Zhongli wake up we’re here, which way do we go now?” A frustrated voice asked, causing Zhongli to blink his eyes open before looking out the window and taking in his surroundings before the familiar pull in his chest sharpened a bit, if he squinted hard enough he could almost convince himself he saw a read string.

“The city. Umi is in the city.” His voice was rough with sleep, a lot deeper than normal, he was excited but most of all he was terrified. What if it wasn’t Umi? He didn’t want them if they weren’t Umi.

What if it was Umi and he didn’t recognize Zhongli? What if Umi was a mere child? What if he hated Zhongli for letting him die? What if-

“Stop thinking. You’re bumming us out.” Xiao’s sleep ridden voice sounded from the front, eyes closed.

Zhongli clicked his tongue before Aether began to slowly drive the machine into the city, finding a place to park was a lot easier than I. liyue, granted the only other car in the entire city (at least it looked like it.) was parked way down the road.

Zhongli hurriedly pushed open the car door, a gust of wind alerted him of another’s presence; he didn’t even react before his hand found it’s way around their throat before looking down at the boy with blue braids.

Logically, this boy should be scared.

But he wasn’t.

“Long time no see, old friend! You here for Umi? I’ve been watching over him Yanno! He’s so sweet!” The male said, grin never faltering from his face.

Zhongli huffed out an exasperated noise before letting the boys throat go.

“You know, I liked it better when you were ‘missing.’” He mumbled, rolling his eyes before looking around the area they had parked.

The pulling seemed to be coming from up the stairs, So, like any reasonable man; Zhongli followed it.

He kept looking around, before suddenly; it felt like a body crashed into him, the persons arm’s wrapping around Zhongli and a face pushing into his chest.

Zhongli blinked for a second before he finally noticed a mess of familiar blue hair.

“Umi..?” He asked softly before wrapping his arm’s around the boy, lifting up in his arms as he held him.

Umi wrapped his legs around Zhongli’s waist and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck, the next thing Zhongli knew; he was being kissed.

Familiar soft lips moved against his own, Before they pulled back and he could finally Look Umi in the eyes after so many years

His eyes weren’t green like before, they were now such an electrifying grey color.

“How old are you?” Zhongli asked, voice a hushed whisper.

“Twenty seven.” Came the quick response.

“Do you want to come back to Liyue with me?”

“Stay here. With me, please?”

“Of course.” Zhongli said softly, setting him down on his feet before letting himself get pulled towards a rundown apartment.

~~

They’ve been together for years now, Umi having just turned Thirty four.

Zhongli had slowly begun to notice how weak the other was getting.

Continuously having to stop while he was doing something just so he could catch his breath, Zhongli had taken over preparing dinner for his husband on those bad days.

Only after a couple days did Zhongli begin to notice the cough, and then the face swelling, and finally he watched as Umi coughed into his hand, pulling it back and watching his husband’s eyes widen at the bright red fluid in the palm of his hand.

Every thing came to a boiling point the day Zhongli had to bolt across the kitchen floor to catch his love before Umi could crack his head against the counter, pulling the smaller into his arms.

That was the first time in years the Archon had used his power, jumping across buildings before he finally decided to just teleport to the hospital, immediately calling for help; the man tried to fight as the doctor’s pushed him out of the room.

It was hours before Zhongli could see Umi, by the time he was allowed to the other had fallen asleep.

Zhongli sat himself in the tacky blue chair, leaning his head against the other’s hospital bed he ended up falling asleep to the Rhythmic noises of the machines.

Pretty soon he was being awakened by a doctor who pulled him outside the room and took a very solemn sigh.

“Mr. Zhongli, I hate to inform you but Umi has very advanced lung cancer, it’s a surprise he’s made it this long. At best, he has a month to three to live.” The doctor spoke, giving the man an apologetic look before walking away.

Zhongli stared at the wall blankly, before reality hit.

He was going to have to watch the love of his life die a slow and horrible death.

He went back into the room.

“Umi? I have some-“ he took a deep breath. “Some news.”

Breaking the news to the man had been the hardest thing Zhongli had ever done, he held the man as he cried.

They made it past the three month mark, in fact he lived for almost a full year.

The day started out like any other, Zhongli got up and kissed the boys forehead before beginning to make breakfast.

Once the food was done, Zhongli waited for an hour before going to wake the other up, he very lightly nudged Umi before trailing his hand down the boy’s cheek, it was oddly cold.

But they had slept with the window open all night in the dead of winter, simply because Umi had gotten so hot.

“Come on my love, it’s time to wake up and get your day started.” He nudged Umi again, this time noticing the fact that Umi’s chest was indeed not rising nor falling the way it did when he was sleeping.

Zhongli pushed the blankets away from the boy.

“Please don’t let this be the end.”

He pushed his fingers against the pulse point in the boys throat, he was beginning to panic.

It felt like his heart had plummeted from its place in his chest. “Please don’t slip away.” The bigger man pulled the landline from the place it was last sat.

He dialed 911, the tears had yet to fall.

But the moment the phone was answered the man sobbed out. “My husband’s not breathing-“ the man on the other end of the phone walked him through CPR.

“My heart can’t take it.”

The CPR wasn’t working, Zhongli had to give up performing it when the EMT’s busted through the front door, he leaned down, pressing a final kiss against his husband’s forehead, whispering against the skin. “It’s okay, someday I’m gonna be with you.”

He watched as they wheeled him out on the gurney, he followed after behind them slowly; the tears having never stopped, he pushed his long hair into a bun as he climbed into the back of the ambulance with his husband, he stared emptily at the body.

~~~

The funeral was extremely difficult, it was so hard to see Umi look like he was just sleeping.

“You’re all my heart wants, I promise you, I will find you again.” He whispered to the open air, eyes dropping downwards to the stiff body of his love.

~~

It had been a week.

A week without Umi.

A week without laughing until his stomach hurt.

The man was sat In front of the TV, eyes seeing but not watching.

Suddenly the overwhelming need to vomit rushed through him the man stood and nearly sprinted towards the bathroom, landing on his knees with a sickening crack and a pained groan as he emptied his stomach contents into the porcelain toilet bowl.

Two weeks went by and the man had begun to notice when he would wash his hair his hands would come back covered in hair, his pillow too after he’d wake up.

He couldn’t bring himself to care in the slightest, he still forced himself to eat simply because Xiao would not leave until he had eaten half of the plate but the man’s body weight had begun to drop drastically.

Three weeks.

That’s how long it’s been now.

He looks over at the clock on the table, it was five in the morning and he still couldn’t sleep.

His head hurt so bad, he felt like it was about to concave but he simply couldn’t bring himself to sleep, he laid there as quiet tears began to leak from his eyes and slide down the sides of his face, pooling in the crevice of his ears.

A month.

A month has gone by and he’s not any better, if anything he’s worse.

He woke from his sleep, his heart racing and his chest hurting so bad to the point he screamed which in turn startled Aether so bad from the living room that the blonde had called on Xiao before he could think twice, arms were encircling the man, pulling him against bony shoulders a hand weaving through his hair as he was held.

It’s been four months

The nightmares have begun to get worse, Zhongli has begun to pick at his nails until they bled.

Zhongli huffed in annoyance, turning over and shoving his eyes closed tightly.

He just wanted to sleep, and never wake up.

//Fin

[hecohansen31]

I’m SO obsessed with how you write Roman. I just keep re reading everything you’ve written about him🥺 can I request some soft daddy Roman? Maybe consoling his person after they have a minor freak out because somebody called them a gold digger or something... which is silly because they are high school sweethearts and their dynamic is hella established. Thankyou🥺🖤 your writing is literally perfect

(A/N): Hey sweetie!

I wanted first of all to say that THIS FUCKING MESSAGE NEVER FAILS TO BRIGHTEN MY DAY! SHIT SHIT SHIT YOU GAVE ME CAVITIES WITH YOUR SWEETNESS, I FOR EVER LOVE YOU!

(Also if I might ask: what is so special about my Roman? Like I am just curious, because I always feel like I write him a bit OOC, but...).

I also wanted to apologize for how much it took me to answer this ask; I started it and then moved it onto my iPad, knowing I would be working on it when I was back on at uni (and I haven’t been at uni in three weeks, BECAUSE SHIT KEEPS HAPPENING), so I costantly pushed it back.

But this week I felt like I was taking too much time and finally finished and I hope that you’ll forgive me, sweetie!

Have a nice reading!

WARNINGS: Mention of Sex, Daddy Kink, Mention of Past, Mention of Rejection and Self-Esteem Issues, Accusing of Being a Gold-Digger and Everything Related.

The weight of the ring on your finger was strange but not unwelcome, even more as it brought out the memory of the previous night, when Roman had asked you to marry him.

You still remembered having had dinner with him and Nadia, the child now attending kindergarten and being extremely happy about explaining to you and Roman all the fun activities she had done there, that went from coloring to playing ‘dress up’ with her friends.

You had listened attentively and smiled whenever she would get so lost in the story and forget what she wanted to say, almost even forgetting to eat.

Exactly as Roman, who had kept pushing around food and listened half-heartedly to his child, simply muttering a few ‘oh that is alright, sweetie’ and ‘I am glad you have fun’.

You had blamed it on an hard day at work, and as you two had been alone, you had gently positioned against his back as he had sat onto your shared bed, moving to massage his back, something which always relaxed him, as you softly kissed his neck.

‘Was it a hard day at work?’ you had asked, and he had simply nodded.

You had hugged him tight, wondering how you had come this far from high school when you and Roman wanted to do nothing more than rip apart your necks.

But then he had saved you from Christina and you had slowly started to forgive him for being nothing more than a spoiled boy and when Peter had run away and he had been left with Nadia you had started helping him, although he was extremely against help, till you made him accept it.

And slowly you had grown to love each other, in a way that was familiar and quiet but was much needed from both of you.

And now you were there with him in your arms, and Nadia in her own room, sleeping peacefully, like any normal happy child.

‘I have been nervous, mostly’ he commented and you lightly turned around to him, seeing one of his hands hiding behind his back but not giving it too much thought as you adjusted yourself on his lap, circling again his neck with your arms.

‘Can I help you with it?’ you asked softly, as you messed up his hair, to make him smile, but he kept on being ridiculously still and you couldn’t help but grow slightly worried.

And then Roman moved forward the hand he was hiding behind, revealing a small box of velvet in it, and although some part of your brain had its ideas, you couldn’t process properly the entire thing till Roman muttered.

‘Yes, you can actually’ he swallowed a huge intake of breath, before spluttering the rest of the words as if they were venomous ‘… you can say yes, to my question’.

And like this a beautiful ring was revealed to you, a small but shiny ruby in the center of the thing band of gold, surrounded by smaller diamonds, bringing an halo of light to your hand that you had been almost too taken aback from it to speak.

‘I…’ you had been the one speechless back then, and Roman had been almost startled by your silence-

‘… I want to make this official… I know that you… I am not the type of guy who settles down, I never thought I could… but I know you want it… and I…”.

You had been a bit taken aback by Roman’s discourse and had immediately told him that this wasn’t simply about you: you were happy with him, even without a wedding or anything making it official.

‘… for me a ceremony doesn’t make less or more the love I feel for you and Nadia’.

‘I know, but…’ he had looked away from your face and you had smirked at him, grabbing one of his hands ‘... but I fucking suck with words!’.

You had laughed a bit at his outburst, gently enveloping him in your arms as he had proceeded to whisper the rest of his vows to you.

‘… the fact is that… I never thought I would find somebody who makes me feel like you do’ the words had, this time, surprised you, even more appreciated than the beautiful ring as you had felt your eyes tearing up lightly ‘… I personally don’t believe that piece of paper will change us, but I know that you always wished to get married, so why the fuck not? I mean… you are the only one I want to spend my life with’.

You had cried in his shirt after all those sweet words, assuring that for you it was the same, till Roman had grumpily but sweetly proposed he ‘fucking put that pretty ring to use’, even going down on his knee and proposing properly.

As you had accepted, he had quickly smirked and muttered about ‘how fucking happy would your parents have been that he had finally made you an honest woman’.

And then the sex had been amazing: Roman had worshipped you softly, but once he had prolonged the teasing even for him, he had taken you roughly making you moan softly, as you stifled your groans against the pillows.

And now that the morning light was washing over you, the ruby shined even brighter, but not as Roman’s smirk as he saw you staring at it.

“Enjoying the view, Mrs. Godfrey?” he smirked softly as you adjusted yourself in his arms “… because you are stuck here”.

“Enjoying it very much, Mr. Godfrey!” you shot back, kissing his chest softly “… you should be the one worried about being stuck with me”.

“Are you a blood hungry upir?” he replied, as he lightly distanced himself from you: talks like this always made him nervous, but you respected his space and gently proceeded to also get away from the bed, eyeing the hour and knowing that Nadia’s alarm would soon be off.

“I am an annoying human with a pendant for art, I am pretty sure that I am not as interesting as a upir”.

He laughed sarcastically, but still leaned in to kiss your forehead as you found your nightgown and he his boxers, both putting on some clothes, meanwhile you felt the discreet squeak of Nadia’s alarm, which meant that you needed to be in the kitchen the fastest possible to have breakfast ready for the little hungry upir.

“… don’t talk nonsense when you are the only person I tolerate in the world” he muttered onto your forehead deadly serious, with that tone that made you feel like he would have gladly ‘disposed’ of anybody who hurt you “… and I think that we should celebrate about it tonight, so that we can tell it to Nadia”.

You were a bit scared of Nadia’s answer to you getting married with her dad, but nodded, as Roman suggested your favorite restaurant and the hour you got off the job.

“I can take you with the Jaguar” he muttered, meanwhile you both moved down the stairs, with him peppering gently your neck with kisses “… like old times”.

“That would be nice” you replied, although you were already focus on searching that little gremlin that Nadia was, moving around the kitchen, onto a stool as she tried to grab a box of cereals and Roman promptly grabbed her to get off the stool, lecturing her about ‘fucking waiting for them and not to fucking jump onto stools’.

You certainly knew who you would blame if Nadia was worse with her words than a sailor.

“But you are always sooooooooo sloooooow” she shot back, annoyed, and tightening her arms in front of her chest, as Roman did when he was annoyed, something which made you smirk, meanwhile you got the coffee ready for Roman, boiling your tea and heating Nadia’s milk “You always lose time to kiss (Y/N)”.

Although Nadia had once called you ‘mom’, you preferred when she called by her name.

You had never ever wanted to take Letha’s place, although you acted with her as a mom.

And you couldn’t help but, sometimes think that she might love you as such.

“… that’s because (Y/N) is in need of many kisses” he mumbled as he moved to you, to grab his coffee and kiss your shoulder, making you blush, as he then moved onto his daughter, tackling her to give her a few kisses as she tried to move away, giggling “… and so do you”.

You had a quiet breakfast, as Roman let Nadia know that they would go out that night and the child immediately asked you if she could wear her newest dress.

‘The white one that is like yours!’ she asked, as she almost pulled onto your hair to get your attention, as you nodded, meanwhile Roman simply mumbled under his breath about ‘how fast children grow’.

He eventually went to work, accompanying Nadia on the way.

Before he left, he kissed you goodbye and even laid a small kiss onto your ring, making sure that Nadia hadn’t seen him.

“See you tonight” he muttered as he left, and Nadia waved at you and you shot back.

“See you tonight, handsome!”.

You had then set down to work a bit on your computer.

Working in an art gallery was a tough work, but during these first years you had taken a part-time job, mostly to help with Nadia, but you were slowly going back to the usual rhythm, mostly working on the computer at home during the morning.

You, immediately, thought about bringing it to him, since you could already hear Roman screaming against some poor underpaid intern.

You had finished work early and didn’t mind a small trip.

Your good mood was honestly extremely strong, and you drove happily to the White Tower, jamming to your favorite songs, the awful pop ones that Roman hated a bit too much, enough to sing them in the shower.

You smiled at anyone in the White Tower, although many didn’t reply, but you were basically jumping around happily around the place, stopping as you came face to face with Sarah, Roman’s lovely secretary, talking as usual with her girlfriend, on the phone.

But she closed the call as she saw you coming, immediately reaching out for your hand, only stopping as she came face to face with the beautiful ring.

“… ahhh it looks even prettier than in the pictures on internet!” she commented, playing with your hand “… I am not going to lie but I chose it for you”.

You opened lightly your mouth to the surprise, but then she shook her head, smirking lightly.

“I was joking! But I was the one who ordered it for you…” she then turned to face you “… Gosh, I can’t believe that we’ll have to call you, Mrs. Godfrey!”.

“… or maybe you should start calling Roman (Y/L/N)” you joked lightly, and Sarah’s laugh intensified.

“If you do that, I’ll for ever respect you” she retorted, before taking in the computer bag in your hands “… need me to ring up the boss?”.

“If he isn’t busy…” you whispered, as she already moved to get the office phone to phone him in, meanwhile you clacked lightly your shoes onto the polished floor.

“He is in a reunion, but I can leave him a message in the secretary” she explained, as she let ‘Mr. Assholefrey know that his future wife had come to bring his moronic ass his computer’ “… I hope you don’t have much to do… and if you do, you can leave the laptop to me, I don’t mind it”.

“Oh no don’t worry! I have nothing to do till after the lunch” you explained to her, and then moved away to observe a few things onto the White Tower’s walls, as Sarah had to take another call.

You were trying to calmly relax yourself, as one light shoulder tap was delivered to your shoulder and you turned around expecting it to be Sarah proposing a coffee as you waited, but you were faced with a man smiling at you with recognition in his eyes.

You were taken aback and for a few minutes, not recognizing the man, a bit older than you and with all the signs of the typical economical parasite on him, hidden with an elegant suite and an expensive watch.

You tried to search your mind if he was one of the people Roman made business with, somebody you recognized from a gala or such, but your mind was blank till he called out your name.

“(Y/N)!” he shouted, attracting everyone’s attention when he went further and then hugged you, immediately soliciting a quirked eyebrow for you, asking whether she should have called security or not “… don’t you remember me? Christian from high school!”.

And immediately you realized who he was.

And you would have almost been happier with one of Roman’s partners.

Christian was and old high school friends of your life before Roman and Peter, he acted as if he was the best playboy the world had ever seen, but in reality he was a misogynistic piece of idiot, who thought that his big brain gave him the right to treat other people like shit.

“Oh, yeah... I am... I didn’t recognize you” you honestly had hoped never to see him again.

“We all grow up in the end, don’t we?” he replied and let his eyes go down your body with a rather explicit look that annoyed you “... you look freaking stunning”.

You blushed, and although the compliment wasn’t welcome, you were glad to have a ‘revenge body’.

You had been one of the few he hadn’t hit on back in the high school days, and although you knew it was because he was well aware you wouldn’t fall for his charm, you had sometimes questioned if maybe you had done something wrong to displease him or if there was something wrong in you.

Then you had met Roman, who would have gladly taken you on every possible surface when you were wearing nothing more than a dirty hoodie and awful Halloween socks, even when it was Christmas. 

It certainly helped you with your self-esteem.

“We do grow up in the end”.

Christian had grown up far away from the ‘attractive’ person he was back then (if you found attractive, egotistic people), in a way that showed even further his own moral ambiguity, making you again feel at unease.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, not getting the hint that you didn’t want to talk with him anymore “.... I thought you worked in an art gallery...”.

“I do” and to prove even further your point you spit out “...I am actually the boss of the art gallery’s communications sector, but I am here to give something to my boyfriend, he forgot the laptop home”.

You immediately saw his eyes hazing with rage, as if you had rejected him.

“... oh, you have a boyfriend?” he questioned you and Sarah came to your rescue.

“A husband, actually” she giggled, making you blush lightly “... the owner of this place”.

Christian seemed to be lightly taken aback, before something evil twinkled in his eyes.

“... I didn’t peg you as that type of girl” you sent him a confused look “... oh c’mon! You aren’t dating Roman Godfrey for his niceness, are you?”.

“I actually do” you retorted, shooting him a finishing glance, wanting to get as far away to him as you could, honestly insulted with the way he had talked to you.

But even more horrified at the thought that somebody could actually think that you and Roman were together because of his money and not true love.

“… of course” mumbled Christian, simply raising his hand as a gesture of surrender, although his eyes were everything but convinced, shooting you a quick look of insult before he moved away.

You just didn’t feel like being there anymore, asking Sarah to bring the laptop to Roman, as you excused yourself, feeling deeply ashamed in yourself, almost as if everybody was staring at you as you moved till you reached the gallery.

Even there you were uneasy, thinking about whether Roman felt like you were with him solely for his money, the entire thought making your heart ache not only for shame, but for the pain and insecurity you might procure to the poor man.

You spent all afternoon in anguish and thought that you couldn’t just attend a dinner with that moment, asking Roman to cancel your bookings, hoping that Nadia would forgive you both.

The man didn’t ask too much, but right when you went off your turn off, on the way back home, he called you, as you were just adjusting your seatbelt.

“Hey, wifey” the petname made you uneasy, but you smirked as if he could actually see you through the car speakers “… is anything wrong? Because I have no problem deleting the bookings, but… you love that place!”.

“I know, I know, and I would love nothing more than trying to get Nadia to finish her plate, after she ordered too much food… but I am just tired, it has been an exhaauuusting day at work” you tried to sound convincing, throwing it onto the laughter in order for it to result more natural and hide your uneasiness.

But Roman hadn’t survived so far simply because he was pretty.

“Oh babe, I know perfectly your kinks…” he joked but he didn’t stop there, his tone dropping an octave “… and I know when you are lying to me”.

You saw no escape to this and just muttered.

“Can we talk at home of this?”.

“Of course, sweetie” now his voice was saccharine sweet, making you smile lightly at its ridiculousness “… I feel like you might need a hug”.

“Gosh you are beginning to sound too sappy”.

“But you are stuck with me, little shit”.

The mood definitely brightened up as you drove back home, but the embarrassment that came from Christian’s accusations hurt you in a way that made it all too difficult for you to think about having a talk with Roman, but the man was waiting for you in your sitting room.

‘I managed to get Nadia not to be mad with us with a small trip at Peter’s, he says that if we have any intention to conceive a child, we should consider naming him Peter’.

“That shit is creepy”.

“Tell me all about it” he shifted lightly on the sofa to allow you to sit next to him and have enough space not to feel overwhelmed “… but now you can tell me all about that sour mood in your eyes”.

You couldn’t help but be reduced to silence by the embarrassment.

“… any regrets about … the marriage thing?” although he tried to fake himself to be distracted by it all, you could hear the insecurity in his tone, making your heart ache and turn immediately to him.

“No, of course not, Roman” he didn’t seem reassured, but tried to open his mouth in a reassuring smile “… what about you? Any regrets?”.

“Why would I have regrets?” he shot back, letting anger show itself in his combative tone “… if it’s because you are feeling insecure, I can totally convince you with my silver ton…”.

“… because…” you honestly felt so embarrassed by the entire question that you blurted it out completely “…have you ever thought I was a gold digger?”.

Roman seemed surprised by your rambling, slowly linking all the words together till he found the proper meaning of your words, and went all up in your face, grabbing it so that you could stare him in his eyes.

“… babe you are the farthest thing away from a gold digger” and before you could reply he shushed you with that imperious voice of his that got your insides all tingly “… babe, I have package, I am not that usual ‘party-spoiled-trust fund child’…”.

“You do have to admit you are spoiled”.

“Let daddy talk”.

Now you were flushed all the way from your chest up to your cheeks.

“… and when you came in my life, believe me I was more bothersome than I was an advantage and a proper sugar daddy” he made you smirk lightly, gently softening his hold onto your cheeks, as he caressed it “I never felt like you were here for my money. My dick? Maybe… more like probably… but you are not a gold digger…”.

It was damnably reassuring to hear this, with his soft but rough voice, as he looked at you with those piercing green eyes.

“… and I’ll fucking drain whoever told you this shit” now his grip tightened as his hands drifted to your neck, gently gripping it as he moved to come closer to you, another hand moving between your legs, making you thankful for having worn a skirt “… Sarah told me of that dick that tried to get with you, well fuckface I got a ring on her finger first”.

“Believe me, Roman, I don’t want anybody but you” you spoke softly, feeling yourself melting completely against him, as his hand raised up your thigh, pushing itself to pinch your soft skin “… you are the only one who makes me feel good, daddy”.

“Then I do think that I’ll prove to you that I am worth more than simply my money”.

An amazing night of sex later, you woke up again against Roman’s soft chest, his fingers playing with your hair, as he had woken you up by his ‘work voice’ mumbling things at his phone.

You gently rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand as you adjusted yourself in an upright position to be able to snuggle further in your boyfriend’s chest, who you could feel growing restless, as he looked out for your hand, the left one, the one with the ring, making it shine as it caught the light of the morning sun.

“… am I talking with Chirstian fucking Idiotscreen?” well you could totally guess what was going on and stifled the laughter on Roman’s chest, as he moved his hand onto your hair “… hi, nice to meet you, fucktard, I just wanted to let you know that I won’t fund your shitty project. When I looked at it yesterday it seemed like a shitfest but I was feeling generous because… I do think that you know… I am getting fucking married!”.

You could completely hear Christian’s heavy breathing on the other line.

“… well then you pissed off the wrong person, so fucking disappear from my White Tower and next time you want to call somebody ‘gold digger’ make sure they aren’t your boss’ wife. Goodbye”.

And then he turned to you, cradling your head in his hands and pushing you close to him, letting your lips meet.

“Good morning, gold-digger” you giggled softly in his mouth, as he adjusted himself to kiss you more properly “… now I can already smell your arousal and we have at least one hour to fuck, before Nadia comes back”.

“… then I do think that you better start, soon-to-be-husband”.

[lilxmcrtes]

My URL, The URL Meme

Send Me A URL and I’ll Respond With My Opinions... | @thornstocutyouwith | Mun

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why

Gosh dang it. You’re really gonna make me pick? Alright... for now I’m gonna go with Lief because he’s a Good Boy (tm). So sweet and caring to Oliver. Their relationship is so nice when Lief isn’t bringing / cooking wild animals in his home x’D Also I just enjoy his view on things. So simple, and amusing at times

My favorite interaction/thread of theirs

Again. Pick?! Hm... That food fight in the IMs was pretty funny x3 Aeron and Jace making play bites their Thing (tm) was also good. Or that thing with them as kids playing with dino toys together. It wasn’t a thread but it was so freaking cute

My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s)

CONTENT. ALL THE C O N T E N T!!!!!

Anyone that gets to see such content should feel blessed. You have SO MANY muses and they’re all so unique and real. Also seriously love how they connect in this relationship web that I’ve only seen part of

My thoughts on their writing style as a whole

Good shit bro. Sometimes a little overwhelming but good

Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in

ALL OF THEM??!?! But to be more specific, H.unger G.ames or T.he G.ood P.lace plot would be cool. Ooo A.merican H.orror S.tory? C.oven or A.pocolypse? Omg humor me with a C.ells At W.ork AU. ( Eira and Tancred can be the white and red blood cell!!! ) Or another anime, P.arasyte? U.mbrella A.cademy?! D.etective P.ikachu / P.okemon?!?! All the plots Thorn.

Someone else I love seeing them interact with

I honestly don’t read a lot of threads n stuff outside of what I’m doing. Sometimes things will catch my eye but otherwise... heh... I do be seein u with ofwondersandhares a lot tho. So there’s that?

Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying

I really don’t get why people don’t write with you more. There’s a lot of opportunity right there for people. :/

And did I mention content?! You know so much about your muses. I aspire to be that in tune with these guys one day

If We Know Each Other

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities

Honesty. I mean sometimes it can be pretty blunt but I don’t really have to be guessing what you might not be saying. I figure if you have a problem with me you’ll tell me. Which is kinda relieving to me. Helps when I overthink.

Also ridiculously imaginative. I mean do I really need to elaborate on this one?

What I Think Are Their Strengths

Besides the answer to the above question, you don’t take things to heart too much, which I admire since I do that all the time. It’s great you can brush things off and move on to other good things without getting too caught up in being upset

A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours

First game night. Absolutely one of the best nights I’ve ever had. Hilarious. Can’t wait to do it again. The fact that we named the killer Asher was AMAZING

Why Others Should RP With Them

Hello if it’s not clear from what I’ve been saying then idk how to help you. The sheer vastness of content for all the rp you could ever want is right there man. So much opportunity! All the little details and plots too!! Bonus, you get a friend that will give you head pats- no, wait. those are mine. But still, good fren! *pats their head* A lot of friENDSHIP can fit in here

How Others Should Approach Them

You could toss them some memes. Pretty sure they crave them lol ( Not like they don’t post about it ). And as a multi I am well aware of the specifying muse deal but I don’t think they mind so much that they won’t answer. You’ll just get whatever they roll lol BUT definitely specify muse if you can bc like I said, as a multi, it’s just better that way especially with the number of muses they have. OR you could do the big brain move and IM them “Hey I wanna write with you but I have no idea where to start with your muses. Do you have a preference?” and you guys can talk about who would mesh well together and then you can send memes or write a starter or even get a starter! Pretty sure it’s the same for anyone.

Funny note on that one tho. I think they approached me ooc by just sending my a post in IMs. I don’t even remember what it was or why they sent it. I was wildly confused but ya know. Gotta start somewhere lol Point is, you’ll be fine approaching them however you do. Just don’t ghost.

Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them

You could write with the Teares’ siblings ( in the verse where they are related at least. Haven’t talked about if that’ll be a main thing or not ), baby sis @the-wonderland-jinx and Aeron’s twin @faultycode. The other muses on there are also great.

@klavz​ is a great Klaus imo. The dialogue is so on point. Like I could actually hear Klaus saying those things. Whether you feel the same is up to you but... definitely give ‘em a chance.

There are others but it’s more of a general ‘I like them’ rather than having specific reasons you’d mesh well with / be interested in them.

Anything else I want to say about them

I think I’ve said quite a lot already lol Anything more is pretty much a repeat

I like writing with them. I like talking to them. I think they’re pretty cool and I think other people ought to check them out. A summary by me

If We Have/Plan To Interact Together

A plot I’d like to write with them

Ooo. Um. I know a lot of plots probably got lost bc I’ll come up with an idea and then get distracted with something else. But if I remember any of those definitely lol Also now that I’m on a fresh new blog I will heckin put that shit in a post so I don’t lose it.

That thing where Aeron drops into Wonderland and runs into Soulless!Asher is still in my drafts if you still want that to be a thing. So not all things were lost! lol

But getting back to the question, outside of those sort of things, and being more specific than just everything... T.he G.ood P.lace plot seems good. Pretending these people got into ‘heaven’ when they’re actually in a special hell that tortures them psychologically by picking a set of people that would eternally torture each other bc their personalities and behaviors clash perfectly. Asher ( or all your deadly sin demons really ) would definitely get a kick out of that I bet. Especially on Aeron. Ooo and Oliver.

A muse I want to introduce to them

Max. He’s a muse that’s gonna be on my other multi. He’s a soft boi like Oliver but not as fragile. Very friendly, and actually not human! He’s a changeling that ended up being raised human. Still working on him but I feel like he is basically the peak of my creativity lmao

A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them

I mean I know we mentioned it but Post!Oliver and Tancred would be cool. And I say Post! bc I’m pretty sure Tancred would stay the heck away from him otherwise lol

Also! Lorelei should meet Killian sometime. I’ve never really figured out her and Oliver’s relationship soo... It’s bound to be interesting whatever I do on the fly lol

A thread with them I’m excited about

Every time I see you in my notifications I get excited. But I suppose I am pretty excited for that band ask to turn into a thread 👀

Anything else I want to say

At this point, you might as well follow them if you follow me. Spice up your dash with whatever they’re into for the moment. Find new interests. Learn how to develop your muse

Please read that with the same energy as ‘fuck around and find out’

[miracleforestfruits]

There is so much disgusting bullshit, logical inconsistencies and out of character behaviour in Narita’s Bleach novel Can't Fear Your Own World. It’s obvious that he wrote it to cover for some of plot holes, many of which were left by Kubo in the original manga, but instead he added even more idiocy and couldn’t explain anything. His ‘ideas’ seem straight out of retarded fan fantasies about overpowered characters and ridiculous plot development that doesn’t make any sense. There are some moments in his shitty work which directly contradict already lousy manga’s plot. He also gave some unimportant or new characters retardedly strong abilities which don’t fit into overall power balance of the manga. Overall this talentless moron just made Bleach look even worse, though it seemed impossible after the trainwreck ending. This novel is nothing more than a waste of paper, it’s on the level of the most distorted fanfiction and shouldn’t be considered anything more than this. Below you can see examples of such idiotic inconsistencies and contradictions from his shoddy trash.

Firstly, he completely twisted and grossly misrepresented Quincy characters. A random maid from Silbern that appeared literally in one chapter of manga suddenly turned out to possess a great skills and be on par with the main Sternritters. Making insignificant characters into mary sues is one of the general problems of this novel. Narita gives too much attention to Liltotto and Giselle in the novel clearly because they are popular even among Gotei fans. He simply rides on cheap popularity, while these two are actually secondary characters and didn’t show anything special in the manga. They should have been dead, but he revived them due to illogical bullshit to attract more wankers. They couldn’t survive Auswahlen and keep their Quincy powers. Auswahlen takes away Quincy powers in the first place with the part of Yhwach’s soul. Also Yhwach would have immediately felt that their souls didn’t come to him. It’s impossible to fake through. It’s also stupid that Narita constantly repeats who is who among the Quincy, because he apparently understands that retarded Gotei fans don’t remember Sternritters.

There are many retarded plot moments and mary sueish powers for the newly created and old manga characters equally. Suddenly, some secondary characters turned out to possess Soul King particles in them, even though they must be extremely rare like Mimihagi in Ukitake. Fullbringers were ordinary people in their own arc in the manga and their abilities originated from the Hollows’ power. So by making them somehow connected to the Soul King Narita severely retcons manga material. There can’t be so many Soul King’s parts freely roaming around, and Fullbringers can’t be so freaking special after they lost to Shinigamis.

The biggest mary sue among the Fullbringers was of course Aura. Narita overpowered her so much that she was stated to be on the level of Aizen, which sounds like a bad joke. And she is still some secondary filler character from the non-canon novel. Narita’s urge to make everyone into demi god seems to originate from his inability to create something really interesting and original, so he just buffs up random nobodies. Aura's reiatsu is said to be of the highest degree as well, she could fight evenly with Urahara and single-handedly defeat several Sternritters. While she was still just a human, that’s so much bullshit. Moreover, she could freely manipulate any matter, though it’s primarily Quincy technique and a human woman shouldn’t be better than them at it. She was also a leader of the cult and a host of the Soul King’s chain of fate - just how much more retardedly overpowered qualities could fit into one character? This shit can’t be taken seriously.

Narita stated that Yhwach actually didn’t want to rule the world, he wanted to merge the worlds and revert the world to its original state. While a new 'prophesied king’ in the novel instead wants to rule over the three current worlds. But in the manga it was already shown that Yhwach became the new king over the world and even created the new castle in the Soul King’s dimension. And the worlds didn’t even start merging, only Earth was shaking for some time after that. Also Narita added an explanation that the world of the living will be alright only until the Soul King stays on the throne. But that’s a straight up lie to cover up for Kubo’s bullshit which he came up with in the last moment. Yhwach overthrew the Soul King and took his place. But the world was still standing and even the balance didn’t crumble. Moreover it was implied in the manga that the world existed even before the Soul King. So, we actually saw that the world of the living won’t be destroyed with the death of the Soul King.

Narita also mentioned that it’s not clear whether Yhwach is relative of the Soul King or not. But that means they didn’t even discuss this with Kubo. And since even this very important moment is still unclear, it most likely suggests that they haven’t discussed anything at all concerning the novel. So it’s highly likely that Kubo wasn’t involved with the writing of this novel which again makes it non-canon. He probably only came up with new bankais and made illustrations.

Narita also borrowed some ideas from the anime filler arcs and sometimes he just retells old manga events and outright quotes it, because apparently he couldn’t come up with anything really new and original. And filler arcs for the most part are complete nonsense, they were made for simple fanservice for the fans of Gotei. Thus another reason to not consider this shitty novel a canon if it’s based on the non-canon material from the fillers in the first place. For example, Narita mentioned that each noble family has a Zanpakuto that can be inherited and one of them is Muramasa. But how can Zanpakuto be inherited if the previous owner has already awaken its shikai and bankai? It was specifically stated in manga that only asauchi without shikai can be stolen or passed to another owner.

Narita obviously tried to make his filler characters more special and strong by tying them to already existing Espada and Sternritters. According to him Hikone was unable to speak or move until Tokinada gave him Gremmy’s brain. That’s completely ridiculous, a pathetic attempt to add more false importance to the new character. Moreover Narita implied that Gremmy didn’t really want to fight against Kenpachi, that’s why he lost. Apparently that was another attempt to cover over Kubo’s fail explaining why Gremmy lost with such huge advantage and didn’t properly utilized his powers. But it’s not true and just another retcon, because in the manga Gremmy didn’t really show any intention to give up and wanted to win. And Kenpachi killed a child, this new development with his brain wouldn’t change the fact and make him look any better. Well, at least Narita didn’t kill a child in his novel unlike that cruel asshole Kubo, that’s something I guess. Also Hikone was made of ten thousands Shinigamis, humans and Quincy Konpaku. That’s a pure nonsense because to make artificial Quincy souls you’d still need a part of Yhwach’s soul which they obviously lacked.

Narita doesn’t remember some important details from the manga, like the fact that Arrancars don’t need to hunt souls anymore, because they’ve already evolved. In the novel it’s stated that Grimmjow continued to chase after Hollows, which is another contradiction. Later Narita even added that Arrancars were eating some lizard in Hueco Mundo, which is complete nonsense, they don’t need to eat. He also forced some popular characters like Grimmjow to encourage Ichihime ship, clearly to promote this shit among the fans, who didn’t welcome it after the ending. Speaking of Grimmjow, Narita and Kubo forced him to follow Gotei’s orders which is an outrageous OOC. Real Grimmjow didn’t obey anyone, even Aizen, and wouldn’t be asking a permission from Urahara to kill Ichigo. He would never help Gotei against Tokinada. Narita added him to the novel only to attract his numerous fans. 

There is a case of Kyoraku’s hypocrisy when he reproached Tokinada for using a child and making Hikone work for him. That’s laughable because they forced Ichigo to do all their dirty work and every Shinigami was okay with it. Nell also acts like a hypocrite since she only cares about Ichigo and doesn’t give a shit about Gotei’s atrocities against Arrancars. Even though it was said earlier in the novel that Gotei didn’t attack them only because the balance of worlds has been shaken. It means they are still not friends at all and ready to assault Arrancars any minute. If this disgusting hoe doesn’t care about it she is not worthy to rule Hueko Mundo, she would just give it up to Shinigamis. Narita created this fake and pretentious alliance between the former enemies only to make an illusion of peace and to distract idiotic Gotei fans from Shinigami’s evil deeds. Of course this phoney union wouldn’t be enough to forget Gotei crimes and sweep them under the rug.

There was a facepalm inducing explanation regarding Hikone’s Zanpakuto. Again, Narita tried to raise powerleves ridiculously high, after this even main manga characters look weak compared to his new mary sues. Apparently there was some Vasto Lorde that ascended to the sky by devouring the Soul King, but then Ichibee defeated him. What the actual fuck? Maybe there is some inaccuracy in the English translation, but even an attempt to devour the Soul King sounds absurd for some random Vasto Lorde. And if he did it, how could he lose to the Zero Squad? He must be stronger than them. So, this absurdly strong Vasto Lorde was sealed in Hikone’s Zanpakuto by Nimaya. Which is a contradiction too, because Zanpakuto were made from Shinigamis’ souls and not from Hollows. Nevertheless, Kenpachi was able to one shot him. Powerlevels are all over the place if Narita didn’t want to imply that Kenpachi is stronger than the Soul King now. Or he just doesn’t follow his own bullshit. Moreover, that Zanpakuto absorbed a piece of the Soul King from Hikone and remembered its true name just before he was defeated. Logically he should have evolved instead. But Narita just like Kubo makes Shinigamis stronger for no reason and without any explanation even if the enemy before them is literally on the level of the Soul King.

By the way there was a notion that Shinigamis were impotent in the reishi-enriched Soul Society and couldn’t do anything to that overpowered Hollow which spread its influence over it. Meaning Soul Society didn’t belong to them originally and they didn’t even have Zanpakutos at that time, but Nimaya managed to seal him in a sword anyway. There were already hints in the manga that Shinigamis are impostors in Soul Society and can’t control anything in it without Zanpakutos while Quincy have natural skills for reishi manipulation, so I guess Narita confirmed it. All in all, Narita twisted the process of Zanpakuto creation to make another stupidly strong character. And Nimaya shouldn’t even posses the technique and skills to create Zanpakuto at that time if no one in Gotei had them. But even then it was made pretty clear that Ichibee and Nimaya are evil. It’s disgusting how they were almost gloating that they could seal so many souls in the sword.

Another hypocritical whitewashing of Shingami’s villainy was when Ikkaku and Yumichika told Giselle that they wouldn’t attack from the back because ‘they are not like Sternritters’. But later in the novel it’s mentioned that Shunsui would attack from behind if there is a chance. It just shows the overall level of Narita’s shitty writing, he contradicts not only manga, but his own text. Also Ikkaku stabbed Yukio in  the back in the Fullbring arc. Narita’s hypocrisy and attempt to present Shinigamis in a good light must be intended for retarded Gotei fans who don’t even remember manga events. Also Narita shamelessly tried to make Hisagi look like some sort of knight when he said that he can’t kill Hikone because as a Shinigami and a warrior he has an honour. That’s a repulsive bullshit because it’s usual for Shinigamis to literally kill thousands of souls for the balance, not even talking about their war with Quincy and the old genocide. Also it was mentioned earlier in the novel that Shinigamis are willing to kill people if it’s necessary to protect Soul Society. So, the defence of Soul Society comes first for them, it’s more important than human lives and Narita even admitted it himself.  

Narita made his share of asspulls. It was said in the novel that Kenpachi had never practiced Shunpo before, nor had he considered solidifying reishi underneath his foot because it was too confusing for him. But somehow he suddenly could  manage to remain standing in mid-air. Narita doesn’t even give an explanation how is this possible, Kenpachi just conveniently does it when he needs it. Shinigamis can evoke any ability if they need it for the win. But even if Kenpachi for no reason learned how to stand in the air, he still can’t use Shunpo properly while Hikone utilised all known speed techniques. Zaraki shouldn’t be able to catch him anyway, that’s another illogical asspull and shitty writing.

Concerning Tokinada, Narita made another primitive villain out of him with stupidly strong power. His ability isn’t even original, like everything in this novel. Kageroza from filler arc also could copy abilities from Shinigami’s Zanpakuto. And Tokinada’s shikai has the power to mimic any Zanpakuto abilities that he has witnessed, even several powers at once. But even with such huge and absurd power Tokinada couldn’t defeat a single captain. Again, retarded powerlevels and nonsensical Shinigamis’ victories.

Tokinada was also chosen as a scapegoat for Gotei’s atrocities. Everything was blamed on him and his noble family even though his clan was created only for the novel and never mentioned before. All other noble families have dirty hands, but Tokinada was specifically made the main villain so brainless fans would forget what other Shinigamis did. For example Byakuya wanted to execute his sister for breaking some superfluous Gotei law, but everyone seems to sweep it away. But Tokinada was excessively put in a bad light like he is responsible for every shit that Gotei did. Narita made Tokinada’s noble clan the main villains, but in the manga Seiretei nobles weren’t even so important. They were rich spongers which gave orders to Gotei and thought they have everything under control until Aizen killed them all. But they weren’t involved with the Soul King. The true villains have been always Zero Squad members who knew the truth about the Soul King and were responsible for him. So Narita just shifted responsibility to a newly created character and his clan even though it was never mention that nobles could even have such authority. 

What was the most infuriating, Narita even put all the blame for the spying on Ginjou and murdering of his friends on Tokinada too. But originally in the manga Ukitake was responsible for it. That’s a disgusting retcon when Narita is again shamelessly trying to present Shinigamis in a better light and want readers to ignore their crimes. He impertinently shifts the blame on Tokinada even though he didn’t even existed when Kubo was writing Fullbringers arc. Apparently they wanted to clear Ukitake’s reputation since he got killed in the end. Overall Tokinada seems like a character that was created only to bear all sins of Soul Society and specific Shinigami to divert attention from their cruelty and villainies. That’s a rewriting of history in favour of the popular characters.

Soul King is said to be neither alive no dead in the novel, which is a direct contradiction to the manga where he was obviously alive if he died when Ichigo stabbed him. It was important to emphasize that the Soul King would be alive, otherwise Kubo wouldn’t make such a big deal out of it. Besides he even invited Ichigo to talk in the beginning of the TYBW arc, though Kubo changed the plot later and forgot about it. Also in the novel Soul King was called the original guardian and the progenitor of Quincy, Shinigamis and Fullbringers. And at that time apparently there were no boundaries separating life and death. This statement is so contradictory and wrong, it shows that Narita doesn’t even understand what he is writing about. Narita himself came up with the bullshit that the worlds would merge without the Soul King, but here he suddenly presents a universe where the Soul King is alive while the worlds are merged already. How does it even work in his opinion? The worlds would merge without the SK, but they are also merged with him in this version. There is no logic at all. And in the manga it was said that the Soul King was created at some point by Shinigamis, so how could he be some omnipotent being before they made him into a Soul King? Sounds like another ridiculous nonsense which Narita added just to make even the Soul King himself more special for his mary sue festival.

Not to mention that Narita didn’t miss a chance to make Fullbringers seem more important again, even though they were weak normal humans with Hollow powers originally and not descendants of the freaking Soul King. Also if Soul King was partly a Fullbringer, it implies that there were Hollows already at that time. But that’s impossible since they would have eaten all souls while Shinigamis still didn’t have Zanpakutos. And obviously Fullbringers would appear later than Hollows, because the Hollows infected their parents initially. Narita pulled that Soul King origins history right out of his ass.

There are minor contradictions with the manga in the details here and there. In the final manga chapters it is said that there have been 10 years of piece already. But Tokinada was a huge threat that appeared in the same period of time. Ichibee decided to tell the story of the Soul King to some random mob soldiers. Why would he share such important information on a whim with simple servants? That’s so stupid, in the manga Soul King’s servants were blindfolded, because they are not even allowed to see him apparently. And Shutara’s servants were some kind of marionettes. Of course no one from Zero Squad would tell servants such secrets. Another detail, Tousen and his friend had Zanpakutos with identical names according to the novel, and even had a similar release commands. That shows Narita’s lack of imagination and plain copying from the manga.

Of course Shinigamis were given easy victory with the power of asspulls in the novel. Thus Hisagi easily persuaded Hikone to not fight just with the famous talk no jutsu technique. Even though earlier in the novel Hikone said that he will gladly die for Tokinada and was ready to cut down their enemies as long as it fulfilled Tokinada's goals. It was also mentioned that Hikone sees him as father. Liltotto even admit that Hikone is a fanatic for Tokinada. He was a loyal servant and wouldn’t disobey orders just because his enemy is babbling something. He had his own will, but still he was created to serve Tokinada. Furthermore he suddenly got attached to Aura and had feelings for her out of nowhere, while she betrayed Tokinada. Logically he should have killed her for it. It’s such unrealistic and mawkish cliche that Hikone started to see her as a mother. He isn’t even a real child and just an artificially created homunculus. Typically, Narita wanted to divide enemies of Shinigamis, because if they stood united, Shinigamis wouldn’t have won. So I guess this sudden attachment to Aura was also made to push Hikone away from Tokinada.

Tokinada was also conveniently weakened when his Zanpakuto absorbed part of his powers. Another plot trick to make him lose. Narita created an absurdly overpowered Zanpakuto for him, as was mentioned already. But even when he stole Aizen and Yamamoto powers, he still could kill a single Shinigami, what a load of bullshit. Is Narita trying to say that even their powers are not enough to kill off a single mary sue from his novel? Well, Tokinada’s Zanpakuto can’t have such huge power in the first place since it’s just a clan relic and not some special craft from Nimaya. But Narita already gave him such sword and then couldn’t allow him to win with it, thus that forced weakness with taking away part of his power.

Hisagi was also given farcically powerful Zanpakuto, it ruins all powerelevels from the manga when a secondary mob suddenly gets an ability stronger and more complicated than some of the main characters. Hisagi was always more of a comic relief character and never demonstrated any major achievements in battle. He was a lieutenant, not even a captain. But Narita raised him to ludicrously high levels of power only because he’s the main character in his retarded novel. It’s inconsistent and plain stupid. Even his shikai was retconned and now can heal his wounds. While his asspull bankai traps his enemy in a sphere where they both are healed and can’t die, creating a condition resembling the world before the Soul King with no boundaries between life and death. Meaning his Zanpakuto must be more ancient than Yamamoto and somehow connected to the Soul King, but it’s impossible for a simple Shinigami soldier from Rukongai.

In the end Narita even added an overly sentimental shoujo banality when Aura suddenly awakened a feelings for Hikone and her maternal instinct appeared out of nowhere. Everything in this shitty novel happens suddenly and contradicts previously established characters and events, that’s the level of Narita’s writing. Aura was indifferent to everything before, but abruptly changed her mind in the decisive battle and betrayed Tokinada. That was obviously made to weaken Tokinada even more and deprive him of his allies. Otherwise Gotei wouldn’t have won, as always they need a convenient plot trick for the victory. Also that maternity and childbirth propaganda went off the charts in the end. Aura never was interested in anything like this before, it’s OOC for her. Seems like Narita got a pay-check from Abe to promote a ‘happiness’ of having children to the Japanese readers.

Even though Gotei won again with asspulls and plot shields of course, their system remained the same, encouraging Shinigamis’ crimes. Despite all Narita attempts to make them into even bigger mary sues and to put Shinigamis in a good light and hush up their atrocities, they will continue to be authoritarian assholes and live in fear. Thus Yoruichi showed her true colors as a member of noble family and was ready to kill Hisagi, because he continued to search information about the Soul King. There are other nobles who want to hide the truth even with murdering Hisagi too. This novel didn’t bring anything new to the Bleach plot, it just reused old materials and created anecdotic and improbable powers for the new filler OCs from Narita. He couldn’t even convincingly cover for Kubo plot holes and failures. On the contrary, his novel became another failure and can’t be considered canon with so many unreasonable contradictions. Narita should have died from cancer in hospital, so that readers would be saved from this abhorrent novel.

[combust-catalyst]

Conflicted Feelings: I love you!

[ Main Idea: A second part of Conflicted Feelings where the reader now has to figure out their feelings while avoiding the very source of them. But how long with that last? ]

[ Notes: I decided to go on ahead and do a second part to the story. Again, I hope you guys like it. Again, I apologize if Bakugou or any other characters involve go OOC. Warning for lengthy. I apologize for any bad grammar. This was almost challenging than I thought considering Bakugou’s character. I had a fun time writing this though! Of course, do be warned for swearing. ]

After the massive embarrassment and complete break down, you had made it a mission to avoid the ash-blond head at any cost. Coming to school through the gates and happen to see him near, quick make a long route to class! It may get your teacher upset at you, but it was worth to avoid any potential attention. Going to lunch and seeing him? Pass on lunch. You would go for a vending machine snack! That would last you until time to go home! Any where he was, you was gone without so much as a hesitation.. It was flight response after all. Any way to avoid anyone that could and would recognize you.

Of course who could forget a person who was acting bashful and staring at Bakugou. Most would just be glaring at him from his attitude, but that wasn’t you. You just had to find him. . . interesting? He was cute? He smelled nice? Nice? Does burnt sugar count as a nice smell? People found gasoline smelled nice, so that probably wasn’t worth putting into question. He was on your mind. Every second of the day. Every tiny thing that reminded you of him. And at UA was almost Bakugou all the time. Given that at school, you still had classwork, so you couldn’t ignore that. 

But that didn’t make it better for you. You was suffocating. And he wasn’t even doing anything! It made no sense! These feelings made no sense! What were you even feeling at this point? It was nervousness being around him or even staring at him. Your heart was racing when you got caught staring at him. You felt like you was on fire and it wasn’t even literal! You would unconsciously smile at him from a distance as if he was the only thing you could see! 

“No,” you shrieked as you slapped your cheeks. “Ow.” 

That wasn’t smart. Now everyone was going to be concerned with why you had just hit yourself. Luckily, no one was around. You had just survived Mission: Impossible and it’s code name was Bakugou. You sighed, “I’m gonna be late to class again.” Even with all these escapes, it was becoming tiresome. Classmates were clearly speechless as you would do anything to avoid the boy. Yet, you didn’t complain. If it gave you a calm and peaceful mind for even a moment, you would take it. 

But it was only short lived because you was certain karma was out to kill you. 

“Can’t this be arranged anoth---?” you pleaded. 

“No,” Aizawa immediately rejected.

“I don’t feel too well and I th---.” you excused.

“If you have enough time to make excuses,” Aizawa interrupted again, “you have enough time to gear up.”

With that, Aizawa left you along with your entire class, who had already left to get changed. Out of any the times you wish you was a ghost, this was a good time! Hell, getting sick sounded better than this! Your teacher had called in saying they would be arriving late and arrange a two class teaching! This was ridiculous! Aizawa was already known for sometimes having a rowdy class, with somewhat good control over them. But with two classes under one teacher until the other one came? That was a lot! You couldn’t even understand how this was such a good idea to begin with. Added to the even worse problem now, there was no escape from impending explosion.

“I’m sooooo dooooom!” you screamed not caring whoever would hear you. You yanked your case containing your outfit and headed off into changing. 

You was quick to leave out of changing room as you did going in. But that didn’t leave you free from the curiosity of your classmates. Some were excited to be on the same class as 1-A. Some were finding it annoying as if worried to be used as training dummies to them. With how Bakugou had considered everyone to be a stepping stone to him, you didn’t find these reactions to be the tiniest bit surprising.

Suddenly, there was a tap on your shoulder, “Pst, you must be excited right?”

“Huh,” you deadpanned. 

“Not a chance,” another classmate declined. “Did you see how that Bakugou guy was yelling at them.” They huffed clearly displeased. “I’d say more scared than excited.”

“Nah,” the first one denied. “I saw them looking at him all the time! Someone whose scared doesn’t always stare for over an hour at a single person out of fear! Especially with dreamy eyes like theirs!”

“Hah!” the second one barked back.”Not a chance! He’s selfish ass of a classmate! He’s only got two things good for him! And that’s the damn attitude and quirk!”

Another student nodded, “I mean he was the very first one to get the highest score in the practical entrance exam.”

“Yeah,” one more joined in. 

“See!” the second one spoke again. “What is so great about someone wanting to be a hero if he’s flaunting like he’s better than everyone?!”

“Stop it!” you screamed which caught everyone off guard. 

This wasn’t what needed to be heard. This was all too harsh! And it was as if you was going to break down! This needed to stop. Glaring at the second classmate, you stomped your way to them. Whether it was pure emotions fueling your actions or the anger you felt at that very moment. Nothing seem to matter. Not even the fear your classmates was giving you. 

Nothing except the phrase: That’s not it! 

It wasn’t it. You may not have interacted with the ash-blond a lot and had a bad first impression of him. And his attitude was fuel on confidence with straightforward goals. His actions were rash and full on power. The respect he gave was rare and one that had meaning. He wasn’t one to half ass things like he always said. If he was going to do something, he was going to do it. Yes, he was loud and swearing, but it was better than being quiet and low voiced like a mouse! But even then under all those things, he was still human. And humans still think, feel, even if it was selfish feeling maybe, say, and do things. 

But you still found him interesting. Life never felt dull. You knew this from first meeting him and from earlier. He was amazing to you. Amazing? No! Cool! Maybe. Yet, you still felt as if you wasn’t say enough. Interesting? If he was interesting, you wouldn’t be defending him. Did that even make any sense? You didn’t know.

Your classmate was backing at the entry door as you stomped closed to them.

“Uh,” they hesitated. 

“It’s true.” you admit which confused everyone. “He’s not the greatest at being a nice person. But I’ve always found him so. . . cute? Nice?” You folded up your hand into a fist. “Yeah, he’s rude! But when you have goal and fears biting at you everywhere you go, what would you do? Huh!” At this point, your classmate had fallen through the door and onto the floor clearly confused and still with fear at you. You stomped your feet down in between their legs. “He’s tries and works hard like everyone else here! He got in here through, didn’t he?! So what if he’s got a great quirk?! Every quirk has a downside and he’s no different, but he doesn’t let that hinder him! He’s aware of it, I bet! With a quirk like that, and everyone else here, it takes a lot of patience and understand to make the best use of it!” Breathing in one last breath, you closed your eyes and stared down. ‘Wait!’

But it was too late. 

“And that’s why I love Katsuki Bakugou!” you declared as you stared at your classmate with tears down your eyes. 

‘Don’t do it.’ you thought, but your mouth kept moving. 

“I love everything about him! Every bad flaw he has, I’m not gonna deny about, but damn it! I love those about him AND his good points!” you added.

You slowly huffed as if a burden had been thrown off your chest. It felt. . . great! You said what you felt. And you was truly sincere. You. . . was in love. 

With Bakugou. 

“Um,” a random voice called out to you and your classmates. 

You looked to your side and to say embarrassed was a sheer understatement at what you saw. It was the rest of class 1-A. If all their expression of pure shock and confusion was one thing. Leave it to the fact a few had quite a few “I hear what you said” cheeky smirks. Even Bakugou, the person you had been making it a mission to avoid, had over heard everything. You glanced away clearly not wanting to see his expression. Why would you? You just basically humiliated him in front of everyone.

‘He must hate me now.’ you thought as tears started to fall down your face more.

You rushed to try and wipe the tears away from your face, but only more came. You looked like a mess. A disgusting mess. And now a possible laughing stock to everyone around you.

“Hey,” one of your classmates went to comfort you along with one of the girls from 1-A. 

Instead of taking their generous concern, you just acted on instinct again. What was the point of being here? You just found out NOW how you feel and confessed in front of everyone INCLUDING your  now called crush! Slipping away, you dashed off again. The only sound of angry yelling and pleads coming your way, but they were drowned out by the distance between and your sobbing voice.

You had made it to Recovery Girl’s infirmary. Lucky enough, she was generous and allowed you inside as you was red from tears and slightly in pain. She offered to heal you as she was probably concerned if you had been sore in some place. You shook your head at the offer. It may fix the painful eyes, but it wouldn’t fix your broken heart. Instead, you pleaded with her to allow you to stay and rest. Besides, your heart needed the rest and some place quiet sounded really nice right now.

“Alright,” Recovery Girl agreed. “I can see what you need most right now is time.”

“Thank you,” you smiled.

“But,” she interjected.

You blinked confused at the sudden “but”. 

Recovery Girl’s face smiled, “Time is short. If you live in regret and fear, you won’t be able to move forward in life. Take risk and chances, they may end up being the best and cherished moments of your life.”

You didn’t quite understand what she was getting at. She shook her head claiming you’ll see. She slowly made a walk to the door, “I’ll be going out to talk to Aizawa about your arrival and see what he has to say on it. That includes your teacher as well. I’ll be leaving my door open in case you choose you are comfortable again and ready to leave.”

“Thank you so much Recovery Girl,” you smiled wider; almost making your cheeks hurt. 

With that, she had left you to yourself to think. Time? What time? You had a lot of time. Although, you weren’t immortal. And what’s wrong with fear, it’s natural to be afraid. Sometimes you had accept some things. Even if it hurts. . . Very badly. What risk was there to take? If it was about Bakugou, that was long gone now. How could he like you even--much more even love you? That was too much a dream. Especially after the staring and that sudden speech! 

You cuddle up in the bed sheets wishing you hadn’t even thought of him because now you was burning up again.

“I love him.” you mumbled as a smile came across your cheeks. “I love. . . Bakugou Katsuki.” You gave the sheets a tight squeeze. It felt so nice to say it. 

You wondered if you could keep saying it over and over again. 

Too bad, that didn’t last long.

“Damn it,” a voice growled. 

“Dude,” another one called out, “you gotta chill.”

“Yeah,” a third joined in, “they couldn’t have THAT gotten far.”

That voice! Was that Bakugou? What was he doing here? And he wasn’t alone. There was two others as well. 

“Why the fuck are you two following me?” Bakugou barked. “Get lost!”

“Do you have to be so mean to us?” the third one asked. “We’re only trying to help. Besides, you probably scared them off again if they see you.”

“You---,” he growled.

“What Denki means to say is they was really surprised!” the second spoke up as if to ease the tension. 

You glanced at the door from the infirmary. That was Bakugou alright, but the other two you could remember somewhat well. If you recall them from the Sport Festival; Kirishima and Kaminari. They had been known to be around Bakugou a lot along with some other people you had heard about. 

“What are they doing searching for me?” you questioned as you peeked from behind the curtain. 

Only it was your mistake to. As you noticed their silhouettes, you found it kind of cute how Bakugou was still goofy with how expressive his silhouette that still showed irritation. The other two looked to be backing off. Not in fear, but more to calm the explosive boy down. It was then when you got distracted a red-eye had locked into your own from a small peek from outside the infirmary door.. You shrieked before hiding in the sheets.

“IfuckedupIfuckedupIfuckedupIfuckedupIfuckedup!” you lowly shrieked.

“Did you hear that,” Kirishima asked. 

“It’s coming from in Recovery Girl’s infirmary.” Kaminari deduced. 

‘Oh no,’ you worried as you squinted your eyes.

“Get going,” Bakugou ordered lowly as if his voice was more calm than usual.

“Oh come on!” Kaminari whined. 

“I’m only gonna say this once,” Bakugou warned. “I don’t need your help. Get lost.”

“You c---.” Kaminari protested.

“Okay,” Kirishima nodded. 

“Kirishima, you can not be serious!” Kaminari argued.

“Right now,” Kirishima sighed, “this is Bakugou’s own personal battle. Were rooting for ya, bud!”

“Tch,” Bakugou hissed.

It soon remained silent. And for a second you felt at ease. As you slipped out of the sheets to sigh a relief, the curtain was ripped, metaphorically, open to reveal a pissed off Bakugou.

“Found you,” he grinned. 

“Ahhhh,” you screamed as you rushed into hiding again.

“Not that shit again,” the ash-blond hissed as he pulled the sheet to reveal your swollen eyes and blushing face. 

You glanced again to avoid any more eye contact. Your heart was racing again. You wanted to shift away. Besides, Bakugou was probably grossed out by how you looked. Anyone would be. Your muscles wouldn’t move. You couldn’t shift further away. You was. . . cornered? There was literally no other escape out of this now.

“You look like shit.” he responded. 

“I know,” you only admitted a bit soured though.

It was silent for awhile. You could hear the sound of a chair being shifted near you. Was he really not going to leave?  

“Say it again,” he demanded.

“What?” you asked glancing only to glance away when you noticed his eyebrow twitched.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” he growled.

“Huh,” you still didn’t understand.

Until it clicked.

“Oh!,” you realized, “you mean. . . that.” Your face was burning up again. 

“Well, duh,” Bakugou said. “What the fuck did you think I meant?”

“I don’t know.” you spoke sadly. “About how you’re rude and abrasive, but I still lov----.”

“You. Are.Doing. It. AGAIN!” Bakugou barked his patience running low. 

“I LOVE YOU!” you screamed in nervousness.

It was happening again. The tears was running down your sore cheeks. You only made hiccup noises as you wanted to rub your eyes. Sadly, you felt the stinging in your eyes, so rubbing was a definite no go. You heard a sigh from the ash-blond. You wasn’t sure, but you was surely scared from his silence. 

“Quit crying,” he mumbled. “You’re only making it worse.”

“Eh,” you glanced up.

To your surprised, the sudden anger that was there was no longer tense. The air felt. . . awkward? Bakugou was scratching his head as he too was looking away. The redness a bit faint on his ears. Was he. . . nervous? This was a rather extremely rare moment for you to see the explosive student of 1-A, Bakugou Katsuki, being red and nervous.

“Damn it,” he swore. “What you said earlier. . . that, uh, was a confession wasn’t it, right? That whole “love” shit. Fuck.”

You was a bit lost for words as you was witnessing your crush literally struggling to say anything. Why did it feel so. . . adorable? It was as if the sudden anger and all things you heard from rumors feel flat to what you was literally witnessing right in front of you. Right now, the pain in your eyes was an afterthought, because right now, right in front of you, your crush, the person you was in love with, looked so different. As if, Bakugou was having his own problems.

He glared you, his face once again the usual pissed off, but it felt as if the redness had spread even faster. “ANSWER ME!”

“YES,” you squeaked as redness of your own showed up. “I mean,” you swallowed a lump in your throat, “yes, it was a confession, I think?”

“You think,” he deadpanned. “Then all that shit you said about me earlier was just you sprouting nonsense bull crap, huh?”

“No,” you denied. “I meant it, but it came out really stupid probably even grossed you out.”

“And so what?” he said. 

You blinked, “What?”

“You said exactly what you fucking felt and held true to your shit on those feelings.” he complimented. “You stood up to that bastard you was yelling at earlier, didn’t you? And saying all that emotional shit. Heh, that takes some fucking guts to sprout all that.”

You remained speechless at his words. Was this a compliment and a “good job”? Was he praising you for confessing or standing up for what you felt? Did he not know it was about him? No, he should have know from the whole “I love Katsuki Bakugou” part.

He continued, “I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to give you some answer, huh?” He was scratching his head harder. 

‘He’s a lot more cuter when he’s struggling.’ you externally smiled. ‘It’s like he’s still not sure what to do with his own feelings to answer mine.’

His red-eyes locked with your own again. “Quit smiling at me, damn it!”

“Sorry,” you apologize smiling even harder. “It’s just you look cute when confused? Like even people like you have a hard time when it comes to feelings of the heart.”

“C-cute,” his eye twitched at a lost at the word coming from you. 

Was that too soon?

“I don’t mean to insult!” you defended. 

“Tsk,” he scoffed, “listen well then, dumbass!”

You nervously nodded.

“As of right now,” he grinned, “I’ll accept these stupid feeling or some shit.”

You felt your heart was being lifted. Was he saying to go out? Was this a date? You didn’t deny, you felt amazing that your feelings was being acknowledged, but how he was doing it was confusing you more than ever. 

“Under one condition,” he demanded.

“Eh,” you asked a bit worried now.

“Show me,” he ordered. “Show me exactly how you feel! Words can mean a lot of shit, but if you really do love me as you claim then show me! Don’t hold back! Don’t half-ass it! And don’t go soft on me either! Just because you got some feelings for me shouldn’t hold you back! You love me, right?! Then come at me with all you got!”

You was going to say something, but before you got the chance to even put your own cent in it, Bakugou was already pulling away from your bed and scooting the chair back in the place it was before. Was he leaving? 

“Wait, please, don’t leave,” you pleaded as you grabbed onto hand. 

“Huh?” he paused taking notice of the tight grip you had on his hand. 

“Please,” your red embarrassment and redness from tears still there. “Stay with me. Here. Please.” you swallowed. “I’ll show you how much I feel because no one has impacted me so hard as you do, Bakugou! Just this once though, could you hold my hand and keep me company! Please! I know it’s asking a lot after all that has happen and you mu---.”

“Alright, geez,” Bakugou groaned. “Will you stop with the pleases?! Fucking hell!” He placed the seat back where he had it previously as he never let go of your hand--almost matching the grip of tightness. “Now gets some fucking rest, alright!”

You nodded almost about to cry again as you smiled, “MHM!”

“And stop crying!” he barked. “You act like I’m going to disappear or something!”

“I’m just,” you said as you snuggled into the sheets again, but a bit closer to Bakugou as you let your other hand encase his one hand he gave you, “I’m so happy! Can you blame me? It feels like a dream right now. . .” The tiresomeness from earlier was now starting to settling down on you. Your eyes slowing drifting off to close. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled looking away.

 “And Bakugou,” you called grabbing the boy’s attention again.

“I said get some rest and quit ta--,” he stopped.

A joyous smile on your face as you stared at the boy, “I love you, Bakugou Katsuki.”

You was certain you saw more red on his face. Or was that his eyes? You was losing vision and sound started to fade. Yet, you was at ease. Everything was moving slower now and just having him near; right now. You felt as if you truly was comfortable. Truly safe. Truly. . .

Complete. And in love. In love with Bakugou Katsuki and even if it was only accepted. That was enough for you because you wasn’t alone anymore.

[gizensha01-blog]

I've FINALLY watched every Death Note adaptation and spin-off, so here are my thoughts and ratings for all of those, including the original:

Japanese Musical (2015): Easily the best anime/manga based musical I've ever seen. Not only did it cover the most important things from the original, not only did the stage interior and effects look good while being very simple (and probably cheap?), but the songs are so damn good and catchy, I find myself humming and singing them often.

Now, I think the japanese versions of the songs have very simple lyrics, sometimes to the point of being a little silly ("you'll die, I'll win", for example, from the song "Last Moments"), while the english versions of the songs have a bit more depth and are perhaps a bit more poetic.

However, sometimes that simplicity works REALLY well (from the same song I mentioned, the part that comes after that one line, sung by another character, is "Can you not see what's left? There is only emptyness when the game is over". That's very effectful while also being SO true, for both of the main characters. The english version, while great, didn't even mention emptyness).

The actors and singers were mostly very good! There was a few (like the person who plays Sayu, and some supportive characters) that didn't sing that well, but because they rarely sang in the musical, it didn't ruin the overall experience for me. I love the actors/singers who played L and Light. They both captured what the characters are all about, and they sang well.

The ending to the musical is probably the best of all the different Death Note endings imo. Maybe not the perfect ending, but still darn good. My only compaint as far as writing goes, is that L's "your my first friend" line doesn't feel genuine... because he and Light had only played a tennis match together before that. In the original story, they interacted more before L said that, making it feel genuine. Otherwise, great stuff. 8/10.

Death Note, the first two japanese live action movies: They are OK. They made some changes but covered most of the important stuff from the manga. I think these two movies probably serve as a decent introduction to the Death Note universe, but are also good for people who just prefer watching movies over longer series/anime.

The actors aren't the best, but I've definitely seen worse. CGI looks preeetty bad, so the Shinigami looks like PS2 models (thankfully, they look way better in Light up the new world). The ending to the 2nd movie is pretty satisfying, something I think most fans would agree with. 7/10.

Light up the New World: It was better than I thought it would be. It took ideas that were already in the manga and mixed them into a new story, and it had... mixed results. It had some enjoyable and well directed scenes tho, and I think the new main characters were alright.

The finale was probably my favorite part, even if it was kinda typhical. You have to watch the first two live action movies to understand this one tho. 6/10.

TV drama: L was to much of a silly pretty boy, Light having feelings for Misa was kinda dumb and pointless, and Mello wasn't even a real person in this version (and that doll of him was just creepy).

It does have some good moments tho, with some interesting new stuff. And it's nice to finally have an OK live action version of Near, even if he was different from how he was like in the original. 5/10.

L: Change the World: What does some virus have to do with Death Note? And how is a movie focusing on L so dull?! Many scenes were quiet, boring and didn't reveal anything of importance, not about the characters, nor about the plot. About as exciting as waiting for your toast to pop up from the toaster... actually that's more exciting, because atleast, you get bread.

Sometimes, I THOUGHT something interesting would happen, but nope. None of the new characters were interesting either, and the actors were not good. The only "good" part of the movie was when L's kids started crying, and he just sat there awkwardly in the background, drinking tea, lol.

Oh, and Near sucked in this version and I kept forgetting that that random, annoying kid was supposed to be him (isn't revealed until the end but anyway). This is another movie that you'll only understand if you've watched the first two live action movies. 3/10.

Netflix: Pure garbage. I was bothered by how dumb Light was (and the twist at the end didn't make him seem smarter, even if the creator wants us to think that) and how he didn't have the same drive to create a better world like the original Light, and L acted WAY to emotional and not very smart, and he's supposed to be the world's greatest detective.

But the movie's biggest problems, imo, are the terrible actors, the crappy direction, the unnecessary goore, and most of all: the Death Note rules that they establish at the start only to break them in the end. The Light/Mia romance was bad too. Also, the music Adam Wingard chose for most scenes didn't match the mood at all. This movie's a joke. 2/10.

Manga: The original really is great. The first two halves of the story had so many exciting and well written scenes, and all the main characters got fleshed out, and every supportive character had some use for the story too (except Ibe, I guess).

Some people don't like the last third of the story, but I kinda do. Sure, it's a shame L died, but both Near and Mello were good characters, and I feel fans don't appreciate them as they should, least of all Near, who seem to get a lot of hate for whatever reason.

I also liked Mikami, and the last third of the story had several amazing moments, like Souichiro's death, the SPK wasting L's money to distract the Kira supporters, Kira's confession, etc. It was also interesting to see how the world had changed their view on Kira after the time skip.

Death Note had plenty of exciting moments, had fascinating characters, a great rivalry (between L and Light), had some good jokes, and it's one of those kinds of stories that makes you want to discuss about right and wrong, one justice vs another, and so on.

The art was great, and got better as the series continued too. The speech bubbles kinda covers up some of that beautiful art tho, lol. My only real problem with Death Note is that it should've been longer. I wanted to seen more of the characters and see them interact, see more of the shinigami, and I wanted the other Death Note rules to be used to Light's advantage. 9/10.

Anime: Just as great as the manga...but I enjoyed it even more than the original because of the great direction, soundtrack and VAs. Kappei was the perfect L, and Miyano was the perfect Light. All the VAs fit their characters.

I had no problem at all with how MADHOUSE changed Light's death. It felt more sad than pathethic like in the manga, but watching him die alone, thinking that he saw L before he died, was very effectful. Also, the sad feeling fits well with Miss committing suicide . I've seen people complain about the rain scene, but it's actually pretty good, even if L acts slightly ooc (he's back to his usual self in the scene after, which makes it extra whiplash-y, but eh, whatever. I think it was nice to see a more human side of him). 9/10.

[luftballons99]

how alone you are

fandom: Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler

relationships: Platonic Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive (s*baciel shippers don’t touch!)

summary:

“I have no one,” Ciel whispers, shaking. “I have no one.”

“You have me, my lord, until I bring you victory,” Sebastian assures him softly.

Ciel lets out a short, frost-bitten laugh. “Until you claim my soul,” he corrects.

or

A Faustian pact is a poor cure for nightmares.

tags: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, platonic fluff, Platonic Relationships, seriously if you ship seba/ciel dont touch this fic please, Trauma, References to Book of Murder and Book of Circus, venting, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Banter

chapters: 1/1

read it on ao3 here or under the cut

(i dont know why but somehow i found myself catching up all the way on the black butler manga after years of not reading it and was hit with the urge to write a fic that 1) explores sebastian and ciel's dynamic as unlikely friends(???) and 2) allows ciel to reach something of an emotional catharsis with the help of the only person (entity?) who, for better or for worse (probably for worse), actually understands him (kinda). they're both incredibly tough characters to write so i hope i at least somewhat got their personalities right? the idea of ciel venting is in and of itself pretty ooc but i suppose if any fanfiction was perfectly in character, it would all be canon, so. yknow.

anyway i cannot stress this enough i do not want any s*baciel shippers in my notifs ok? don't comment. don't even look at this fic. though i guess if youre reading this you already did, in which case, fuck you for not checking/straight up ignoring the tags. point is i dont wanna hear any shippy shit alright keep it classy. ciel's 13, give him a break. he needs a guardian, not a love interest, especially not one thats thousands of years older than him. yikes.)

There are some things - however few - that Sebastian cannot protect him from.

He is content to leave it that way, at first. It’s not his job to be a shoulder to cry on or to chase away nightmares. That was never part of their deal and he wagers that Ciel would prefer to keep it that way. Whether it is because of self-delusion or pride, he will not confide in Sebastian; not when it comes to the scars that lie beneath his skin, invisible but lethal. And truthfully, it is just as well; Sebastian is unsure what he would even do with the information. Handling someone’s emotions without exploiting them is not really his area.

All he needs to do is keep Ciel alive and healthy. All he needs to do is watch the corpses pile up at the foot of Ciel’s throne. All he needs to do is kill some time before his next meal.

And yet all Ciel needs to do to keep Sebastian at his heel is call his name.

And that, as much as it pains Sebastian sometimes, was very much part of the deal.

It has been a while since Ciel has had a nightmare; at the very least, it’s been a while since he’s had one terrifying enough to rip a grating shriek of his butler’s name from his lungs and through the quiet air of the Phantomhive manor. Sebastian has noticed, however, that Ciel has not been sleeping well, regardless. Just this morning, the young lord nearly fell asleep on his feet as Sebastian slipped his silk eyepatch on for him, and then later did fall asleep in his study, drooling into the pages of a book. Something is weighing on his mind, and while usually Sebastian would argue that it’s none of his business what goes on in his little lord’s head, it seems to be becoming his business right now as he rises from his desk and ascends the stairs to answer his master’s call.

He is at Ciel’s door in a matter of seconds and, because no one is around to see it, conjures a tray of warm milk and honey with an elegant flourish of his wrist. He sighs inwardly. He knows that Ciel is still plagued with trauma; has ruined too many gloves wiping vomit off the corner of Ciel’s mouth and reminded him to breathe too many times to forget. Still, he was hoping that his young master would have grown out of his nocturnal panic attacks by now.

After all, a violent flashback while witnessing a child’s murder makes sense to him. A nightmare after a quiet, peaceful evening at home does not.

Regardless, Sebastian dutifully knocks on Ciel’s door three times, signalling his presence. He waits before entering, watching the warm milk he prepared ripple in the flickering candlelight illuminating the hallway. He hopes the young master has enough sense to swallow his pride and invite him in before it gets cold.

“Sebastian?” he hears Ciel call after a moment, his voice raspy and muffled on the other side of his door.

Slowly, Sebastian pushes it open and steps inside. Warm light from the hall spills into the room, a slant of yellow cutting across the young master’s trembling form, tucked deep under the covers. It disappears as Sebastian shuts the door behind him.

“That’s right, my lord,” he replies softly. He balances the tray in one hand as he walks toward the sconce attached to the wall by Ciel’s bed. Knowing that Ciel will want to be able to see him clearly, he pinches the wick of the candle between his forefinger and thumb, and when he lowers his hand, a small flame has already begun to burn at the tip.

Sheets rustle as the young master stirs, emerging from his linen cocoon with a white-knuckled grip on his thick blanket and a terrified stare aimed at Sebastian. Sebastian smiles down at him pleasantly, unfazed by his master’s horror. He sets the tray down on Ciel’s nightstand and wordlessly spoons honey into his cup of milk.

“Nightmare, master?” he asks idly, stirring. Ciel doesn’t answer, still busy panting from lingering panic. “It has certainly been a while since I’ve had to come feed you milk in the middle of the night like a starving pup- “

“You shut your mouth this instant ,” Ciel barks, voice raw and loud and sudden enough to make Sebastian’s hand still and his eyes go wide, his smile slipping cleanly off his lips and leaving his expression blank. He glances up from the tray he brought, meeting Ciel’s multicolored glare. “You forget your place, butler .”

Sebastian releases the spoon he was holding, letting it clink lightly against the rim of the cup. He places a hand over his heart and bows deeply.

“My apologies, my lord,” he says evenly and, because he is sure Ciel won’t be able to see it from this angle, arches an eyebrow at the floor in incredulity. His young master certainly has a shorter fuse than usual this evening. It is true what they say about children becoming agitated when deprived of their nap-time. “Please forgive me.”

He remains still, awaiting the boy’s response. It comes a moment later in a frightened, colorless whisper.

“Come here,” Ciel says, lacking his usual authoritative tone. It’s like he’s reverted back to how he was on that first night, skinny and quivering and sick with fear. The only difference now is that he’s a few inches taller and that instead of smacking Sebastian away and commanding him to keep his distance, he seems to need human proximity - or the closest thing to it he can get his hands on. Sebastian glances up, taking a step forward and kneeling obediently at his master’s bedside.

Ciel regards him fearfully, as if Sebastian might disappear into thin air like smoke from a snuffed out candle. He reaches out a small hand from underneath the covers and curls his nimble fingers into the collar of Sebastian’s shirt. He squeezes and releases the crisp fabric repeatedly, like he needs to make sure both it and Sebastian are really there.

Sebastian remembers something Doctor Arthur said on his first and final visit to the manor; about how, in sleep, the young master looks a little less like an Earl and a little more like a Ciel. He may posture as much as he wishes, but he will always remain that battered little boy sticking his blood-brown hands out from in between the grimy bars of his cage; the boy who was forced to grow up so fast that he didn’t truly grow up at all. The boy who spit upon God and shook hands with the devil. The boy who chose hell over happiness.

“What is it, my lord?” Sebastian asks, curious and amused as Ciel continues to pat down the front of his jacket with frantic hands. They still suddenly, cupped around Sebastian’s shoulders as the young Earl thinks, his face indecipherable. Sebastian looks up at him, waiting patiently.

Ciel’s face crumples like parchment over an open flame. The ominously glowing magenta mark of the covenant in his right eye flickers as he blinks back his tears.

“I’ve had enough,” he whispers, voice trembling - from rage or sorrow, Sebastian is not sure. Rage at his own sorrow, perhaps. His fingers dig into Sebastian’s shoulders, tight like twin mouse traps. If Sebastian were human, he might flinch. “I’ve had enough of this.”

Sebastian places his hand over one of Ciel’s in what he thinks is a reassuring gesture. “Enough of what, my lord?” he wonders.

“I asked you,” Ciel starts, gritting his teeth, “for power. That was our deal, demon.”

Sebastian cocks his head to the side. “Has my service been unsatisfactory?”

Ciel smacks his palm over Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian blinks. He does not try to pry his master’s hand away, even though it would be easy. He could snap Ciel’s arm like a twig, if he wanted to, and has mused about doing so before. But they have a deal, and it demands that Sebastian never let any harm come to a single hair on Ciel’s head. And besides, it has been a while since Ciel, difficult as he is, has inspired any violent inclinations in him, and that includes now.

“I asked you for power,” the boy continues, “and yet my mind remains weak.” His voice tapers off into barely a whisper, as if he’s still afraid of admitting it out loud - even to someone who already knew. The true horror for Ciel, Sebastian knows, is not so much the torture he endured three years ago, but the fruitlessness of his efforts to take vengeance.

“The dreams do not cease,” he hisses in disgust with himself, “and I will never leave my cage.”

Sebastian is quiet for a long moment. He could say, This is the lightless path you chose. He could say, There is a difference between power and strength. He could say, You are only human. And he could spend the rest of the night with a red, stinging cheek as a result.

Ciel’s hand slips from Sebastian���s face and grips the silky lapel of his jacket. He seems to want an answer, after all.

“My lord, you are overtired,” Sebastian says gently, deciding to hedge his bets. “Please help yourself to the milk I brought; it may soothe your nerves.”

Ciel scoffs, releasing Sebastian’s jacket and hugging his knees. Sebastian stands and attends to the tray he left on Ciel’s night table, letting his hand hover over the cup of milk and feeling satisfied when it warms his palm. It hasn’t gone cold quite yet.

“I’m not a child,” Ciel spits suddenly. If it weren’t for his small stature, anyone else might believe him. He carries the title of Earl and the weight of the underworld with it on his tiny shoulders and not once has anyone but Sebastian seen him buckle under the weight - and even that is a rare thing. He’s proud, he’s greedy. He’s the worst that humanity has to offer, and he’s the best at being so.

He’s thirteen.

“Of course not, my lord,” Sebastian says graciously, though the amusement in his tone is not lost on his master, who snaps his head up and seems to bristle like a cornered cat. “Shall I take it away, then?”

Ciel’s response is an immediate, “No.” Sebastian grins down at him knowingly. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“That smile. It makes me sick.”

Sebastian picks up the cup with one hand and tucks his smile behind the other. “Please accept my sincerest apologies once again, young master,” he says, voice wavering as he tries not to laugh.

“Your ‘sincerest apologies’ don’t do me any good, Sebastian,” Ciel points out hotly, accepting his cup when it is offered to him. “Just do as you’re told.” When he looks up at Sebastian, his eyes are still glassy with poorly-masked fear. His emotional refractory period is not as short as he would like his butler to believe.

Sebastian watches Ciel peer down into his cup with a shaky sigh before taking a tentative sip of from it. After ascertaining that it isn’t too hot, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back as he continues to drink. Eventually, he lowers the cup so it rests in his lap, held in place by his small hands. His eyes remain closed as he takes a steadying breath.

“Are you sure you’re alright, young master?” Sebastian pries gently.

“My emotional state is none of your affair,” Ciel shoots back, eyes still stubbornly shut.

Sebastian’s eyebrow twitches in irritation. Obstinate brat.

“I see,” he says, tone cold. “That must be why you summoned me to your chambers in the middle of the night. Of course. How foolish of me.” He gives Ciel an icy look, patience wearing thin.

(Yes, he is immortal, and yes, he will have an eternity left at his disposal long after Ciel has died, but hours of managing the boy’s schedule while attending to the daily calamities the other Phantomhive servants cause has made him reluctant to waste time. Every minute he spends in Ciel’s chambers is a minute not spent planning their itineraries for the coming day or preemptively preparing himself mentally for his coworkers’ blunders.)

On that very first night, Ciel ordered him to never lie. Sebastian had figured out quickly that the little lord would not afford him the same luxury.

Ciel gapes up at him, appalled. “ Excuse me,” he starts indignantly, “Since when do I owe you an explanation for my orders?”

“I would never dream of expecting such a thing,” Sebastian assures him, but they both know it’s insincere. “I simply wished to express my concern for…”

He lets the statement taper off into silence when he realizes what he’s trying to say, his jaw going slack before his mouth snaps shut.

Ciel’s eyes shoot wide open before narrowing into skeptical slits, luminous amethyst and candle-lit sapphire shimmering through his lashes. “Your concern for what?” he asks, insistent but wary.

Sebastian considers his master for a moment, thinking. So much for hedging his bets.

“...Your well-being,” he answers finally, and it isn’t until the words slip off his tongue that he tastes their truth. He blinks.

Ciel’s brows pinch together, the eyes underneath searching Sebastian’s face like a bandit looting a vagrant’s corpse. He flounders. Finally, in a test of Sebastian’s meaning, he says, “Your concern is unwarranted. As you can see, I am not injured.”

And it is true - Ciel is healthy as can be; he hasn’t suffered so much as a papercut in over a month. And it has been, by all accounts, a quiet, peaceful evening.

And yet Sebastian has not felt at ease ever since he heard his master scream.

“Indeed,” he says thoughtfully, brows knitted, “but it is not an injury that had you calling my name.”

Ciel’s eyes widen as he looks up at Sebastian, stunned. “I’m fine now,” he insists after a moment, suddenly impatient.

“‘Fine’ has variable definitions,” Sebastian points out and Ciel rolls his eyes, “None of which I would use to describe your current - “

“So what?” the young master demands, incensed, the very foundations of the manor Sebastian built him quaking at the sound of his voice. Sebastian closes his mouth. “I’m alive. That is all that has ever mattered to me.” Ciel’s thin fingers press tighter around his cup of milk as if he’s trying to crush the delicate, flowery design painted on its exterior into oblivion.

What outstanding hypocrisy. Sebastian has had enough.

“You,” he begins in a rough sigh before dropping into a crouch in front of his master, unimpressed, “are quite the nuisance.”

Ciel gapes, immediately raising one hand high. Sebastian’s arm snaps forward before the young lord’s palm can make contact with the side of his face and squeezes his brittle wrist tight.

Ciel flinches, fear striking his features like lightning, and Sebastian is surprised when he doesn’t feel satisfaction at the sight. When did that change? He loosens his grip, but does not let go.

“How dare you ,” Ciel spits, outraged. Tears blur and distort the smoldering mark of their covenant. Still, he swallows a hiccup and growls, “You are trying my patience, Sebastian.”

“What a coincidence,” Sebastian remarks, feigning enthusiasm. “You are trying mine.”

The dam breaks. “You insolent - ” Ciel begins in an angry sob, face twisted in agony, but cannot seem to struggle to the end. His gem-like eyes overflow, his princely nose leaks, his heart-shaped face is blotchy and red. In this moment, he is no Earl.

Why, then, should Sebastian masquerade as his butler?

“It is your stubborn refusal to confront your emotions that results in these puerile night terrors of yours and my subsequent subjection to your misdirected, hysterical outbursts,” Sebastian informs him strictly, red eyes cold. Ciel, through slime and salt water, manages a powerful glare and a snarl. Sebastian is undeterred. “Therefore, if there is so much as a ghost of a chance that you airing your grievances now will result in even a single night more uninterrupted by this nonsense, I believe it is in our best interest to take it, wouldn’t you agree?”

Ciel begins to wrench his wrist out of Sebastian’s grasp and Sebastian allows it, even though he anticipates the sharp slap to his cheek that follows. He sighs loudly in annoyance and looks at the floor, listening to the boy in front of him sniffle and hiccup pathetically. He takes a moment to compose himself; to let the flicker of anger in his chest to go out, eyes falling shut.

He does not anticipate Ciel’s arms hooking around his neck in a distraught embrace.

Sebastian tries to remember the last time he was held.

It was probably by Mey-Rin; she trips over her skirt or her shoelaces or other people’s shoelaces or the floor at least twice a day, and it is often Sebastian who catches her before she falls and breaks her nose - or worse, the dishes she carries. And though the encounter did not leave much of an impression on him, he did sleep with Beast to find information about her benefactor.

This, however, is obviously, markedly different. This is his young master. This is a child desperate for emotional reprieve. This is a little boy in need who would rather die than admitting so.

Carefully, Sebastian places his hand on Ciel’s head, cautious and curious as to how it feels to comfort someone he’s actually invested in. He smooths over Ciel’s tousled dark hair; feels tears seep into the collar of his shirt; thinks vaguely about all the laundry that’s piled up this week. Ciel shivers against him pathetically, muffled whimpers spilling from his lips into Sebastian’s shoulder, and Sebastian keeps stroking his head the same way he’d stroke a cat’s - sans the enamored cooing.

“I hate this,” Ciel grits out spitefully, yet holds Sebastian tighter. Sebastian chuckles softly, amused by the contradiction. Ciel always has been a walking, crawling, squirming juxtaposition.

“If I may be so bold, my lord,” Sebastian offers quietly, “You need this.”

Ciel responds with a pitiful hiccup. Sebastian lifts the hand not occupied with Ciel’s hair and runs it down his back in slow motions that he can only guess are soothing.

“I have no one,” Ciel whispers, shaking. “I have no one.”

Sebastian almost asks, I thought you had no need for emotional attachments? , but manages to restrain himself. Now is not the time for banter, and he’s already been slapped once tonight.

“You have me, my lord, until I bring you victory,” Sebastian assures him softly.

Ciel lets out a short, frost-bitten laugh. “Until you claim my soul,” he corrects.

Sebastian was not expecting that. They do not discuss that part of their deal often, despite both knowing its inevitability. Strangely, the pang of hunger he feels in his core at the reminder is accompanied by something else - different, but equally as painful. While hunger leaves him hollow, this seems to fill him past capacity. He is being torn apart.

“Victory first,” he vows after a quiet moment, suffocating his feelings like he would a kitchen fire. “You have my word, sir.”

Ciel’s fingers dig into Sebastian’s back as he buries his leaking nose deeper into the crook of his neck.

“How cruel,” he whispers bitterly, “that the same hand protecting me is the one by which I will die.”

Sebastian’s hand stills mid-stroke of Ciel’s ducked head. He had never thought about it like that. Ironic, yes. Poetic, yes. But never ‘cruel.’ When he thinks about it, he finds the word fits just as well.

“You chose this, my lord,” he reminds the boy and himself, but still does not feel absolved.

“Indeed,” Ciel agrees and holds Sebastian tighter. He is never this clingy unless his life is in danger. Sebastian supposes that, in a sense, it is.

“Now, now, sir,” he chuckles, slowly leaning out of Ciel’s embrace. It is late, they have a busy day ahead of them, and one of them has to be the first to stop playing house. “I have kept you awake for far too long already.”

Ciel’s arms loosen around Sebastian’s neck as he pulls away, though his hands remain clasped at its base. His eyes are swollen red, his cheeks flushed and glittering with moisture to match. Sebastian tuts lightly and shakes his head as Ciel sniffles, reaching into his pocket and producing a handkerchief. He rubs the boy’s cheeks and nose clean, suddenly rocked by the memory of the last time he had to do this - just under three years ago. Ciel was ten and still readjusting to life outside of cages and cult rituals. It took a while before he started bothering to wipe his mouth after a glass of milk or his nose after a sneeze, and it was Sebastian who would remind him by example.

Once again he is filled with that emotion he cannot place. Confusion wrinkles his brow and parts his lips. Ciel seems to notice and gives him a curious look, but before he gets the chance to investigate, Sebastian is pulling his handkerchief away, slipping it into his pocket, and rising to his full height. Ciel’s mouth, which had fallen open when he meant to begin his interrogation, shuts silently. Sebastian cannot decide if it is a relief or not; that Ciel isn’t prying.

(He wonders - long after tonight - what Ciel does not say.)

When Ciel finally does speak, it is to interrupt Sebastian’s movement to extinguish the candle bathing the room in soft orange light with a firm, “Wait.”

Sebastian tilts his head questioningly, retracting his hand. “Master?”

“The light,” Ciel says quietly, tired eyes drooping as he looks up at his butler; his confidant; his murderer. “I like it. Don’t put it out until after I’ve fallen asleep.”

Sebastian smiles, deciding it is safe to tease once again. “The esteemed Earl Phantomhive, unable to sleep without a nightlight. How sweet,” he cooes, a hand over his heart. Ciel narrows his eyes at him. “Shall I tell you a bedtime story while I’m at it, my lord?”

“I dare you,” Ciel challenges him irritably. Sebastian knows better than to accept. He grins and watches Ciel’s eyes fall shut.

“Then I take it I am not yet permitted to retire for the evening?” he asks with a put-upon sigh.

“Do you even sleep?” Ciel wonders flippantly in a yawn that he does not bother to cover with his hand. He rolls onto his back and pulls the covers up to his chin.

Sebastian is surprised, but not put-off, by his master’s interest. “No, sir,” he says, “however, like you, I do require rest.” He pauses, chuckling. “Though obviously not as much as humans do.”

Ciel snorts. “Obviously.”

“Well then, master,” Sebastian begins pleasantly, standing with his back to the wall adjacent to Ciel’s bed, “I will remain by your side until you fall asleep.” And until the day where you do not wake up again.

Ciel hums in acknowledgement, rolling onto his side away from Sebastian and curling into a crescent shape against the mattress. Sebastian, although - or perhaps because - his master can’t see him, allows himself a genuine smile. There will be no more nightmares tonight and, hopefully, for the foreseeable future.

“Sebastian,” he hears the young lord say suddenly and glances up to the back of his head, dark against the soft white of his downy pillows.

“My lord?” Sebastian prompts softly, standing at attention.

There is a long pause before Ciel speaks again - so long that Sebastian wonders if the boy has finally succumbed to sleep - but just when it seems like the conversation is over, Ciel breaks the silence once again with a firm, albeit sleepy, “You did well today.”

Sebastian blinks. He has lived a long time; has seen many things and met many people. He is not easily stunned.

Hearing those words from his master, however, will shake him every time.

I invoked your ire to the point where you slapped me, part of him - the same part that got him slapped, incidentally - wants to remind the boy, but he keeps his quip to himself. They have gone back and forth enough for one night. Surely there is no harm in accepting the gift of his master’s acclaim.

“My lord, I am most honored by your praise,” he tells him, smiling in gratitude and pride. “If I may offer my own - “

“Oh, spare me. All I did was ruin your shirt with my stress-induced optic and nasal secretions.”

Sebastian grimaces at Ciel’s wording. “Now, my lord, surely there is a more graceful way to - “

“Just accept the compliment without patronizing me, Sebastian,” Ciel huffs, frustrated, and rolls over to meet his butler’s eyes. He points at him decisively. “That’s an order.”

Sebastian, still smiling, sighs and raises his hands in surrender. “As you wish, young master,” he concedes.

With a final nod and fluff of his pillow, Ciel settles under his covers. When his eyes shut this time, Sebastian knows they will not open again until morning. He shakes his head, leaning back against the wall with crossed arms as he watches the young lord’s thick covers rise and fall with each of his steady breaths. When Sebastian is sure Ciel is asleep, he extinguishes the light. The room plunges into the comforting darkness of night, softened by milky rays of moonlight filtering in through the window.

Sebastian collects the tray and dishes he brought, being sure not to make a sound when he lifts them up from Ciel’s nightstand. He glances down at the boy over his shoulder before making his way out of the room, remembering his words - You did well today, Sebastian.

A bittersweet smile forms on his lips as he pushes Ciel’s door open. With one last look back at his master’s sleeping form, Sebastian whispers, “As did you, my lord,” and slips out of the room.

[noctispostmortem-blog]

PSA

I did one of these on my old blog and I’m bringing it back but revamping it a bit. This is to all my mutuals! Mainly this is what is in my rules but I thought I’d post it as well as a reminder and to clarify certain things. This did get pretty long so I placed it under the cut. Any questions, feel free to send me an ask.

First of all, if I follow you I want to RP with you.

If you want to drop something, whether it be a thread, a ship, an interaction, anything all, that’s perfectly fine no matter the reasoning. You’re not feeling that thread anymore? Alright, let’s do something else. You’re not feeling this ship anymore? Sure, I’m alright with that! These two muses just aren’t working out in their interaction? Got it! Let’s try something else! I’m perfectly fine with all of it!

My inbox is always open. Send that meme. Say hello. Ask any question that you have! Seriously, I won’t mind!

If I post a starter call, inbox call, or plotting call, do not be afraid to like it if that is what you want to do. Same thing for if I post an open RP’s for my muses, just jump right in if you want.

I love AU’s, I truly do. And they can vary from small little changes to the normal verse to my characters becoming something completely different. Either way, I’m up for it so come at me if you have an idea.

I’m a little shit when it comes to replies, seriously I am. Sometimes I can spew out reply after reply within minutes of each other, and sometimes I will go days without a single one. It’s called life. Sometimes I’m not feeling good, or my mood is too sour. Maybe I’m struggling to come up with a reply I find suitable and really want to take my time and make sure it’s right. Maybe my muse isn’t cooperating with me. There are so many reasons, it’s ridiculous and if you’re worried that I no longer want to reply, just ask. I won’t bite, I promise.

I do not mind having multiple threads with the same mun. Whether that be your muses RP’s with several of mine, several of mine RP with multiple of yours or even if you have more than one blog but want to RP with me on each one. I’m down for that.

I’m a huge lover of shipping. Seriously I am. Ship with me you cowards! But, there does have to be some chemistry between the muses, I have to be able to see that they can go down that path together. If I ship something, that doesn’t mean you have to and if you ship something doesn’t mean I will either. Don’t force anything on me but do tell me if you ship our muses. I probably do too. Plus, there isn’t just romantic ships! Platonic, familial, frienemies, all that good stuff. I love all of that and so much more!

I can do pre-established relationships (not romantically at all though (usually)) but we as muns have to discuss it first to see if the muses can even be on such terms with one another.

I am open to pretty much every kind of plot you can think of. Seriously, I am! So don’t be afraid to approach me on that either if you want a specific genre.

You are allowed to use memes as icebreakers.

You are allowed to turn asks into threads, just please repost it and if you can’t, tell me and I can do it for you.

Let your muse, be your muse. Don’t change them simply to suit the RP. If your muse is a jerk but you feel sorry for mine because they are sweet, don’t make them nicer so that you don’t feel guilty. If your muse is flirty, but mine isn’t having it, oh well. That’s how they are and my muse is more than capable of handling themselves.

I do not care if you take forever on your reply, I really don’t. As I already said, I’m bad with that myself. So don’t stress it, take your time!

You are NOT just a number in my follower count, I promise you that. So, if we’re mutuals, even if it takes me forever, eventually I will reach out to you. Most likely with a meme. However, I will say this much, I generally give a limit of three asks to start an interaction. This means I the first two icebreaker memes I send in that aren’t answered will be given the benefit of the doubt by thinking maybe you didn’t get them or the ask didn’t work or maybe the muse wasn’t good. Each one I send will likely contain a different muse and scenario to give you options. But after three asks are sent to try and break the ice between us and none are answered, I will assume you don’t have an interest in rping with me and will soft block because I don’t see a point in us being mutuals if you’re not interested in rping.

There will be times when I drop threads, there will be times that I don’t answer an ask you sent in, and times that I’m really not good at talking to others ooc. This is nothing against you. Generally, I really only don’t answer asks that just won’t work with anyone (rarely, is what I am saying). If I do these, we can always start a new thread, you can always send another ask which I will be more than likely to answer and if I don’t respond via chat or discord, just give me some time. I’m probably simply not up to it yet but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk with you.

Feel free to specify a muse if there really is one you’re interested in, I swear you won’t upset me because you like this particular muse. If anything, that makes it much easier for me. But, if you’re not sure who to use, let me know and I’ll try to help you.

My activity is sporadic like crazy, I ask that you have patience with me on this.

My page is hella disorganized but I’m chipping away at that bit by bit (ignore the fact that I’ve had this particular blog for eight months now and I’m still trying to get it together)

I do not care about that whole thing that’s going around about reblogging from the source, I truly don’t and it’s even in my rules that the likelihood of me actually doing that isn’t high.

I am private. I am selective. And I most certainly am mutuals only. If I haven’t followed you back yet, please do not jump into my IM’s asking about doing things. That will make me either want to block you or not even give your page a chance. If I don’t follow you back for whatever reason, it’s nothing against you, really. Could be a great deal many reasons as to why.

I am multiship (for the most part because some muses are selective few ship, it says it in their information if they are) but certain muses have their main verse and then they also have their canon verse which is not the same. If for any reason, you wish to be involved in their canon verse, it would have to be thoroughly discussed between us and then I’d have to discuss it with another mun who is involved with the canon verse muses.

I have a very broad range of muses from the most innocent and sweets ones to the worst of the worst. They also range from completely normal humans to vampires, lycanthropes and much much more. But having muses like this means there will likely be a lot of triggering content. I will try to tag it but if I’m being honest, I suck at it.

Will contain NSFW content as well (though certain parts of that NSFW I’m very picky about). Smut is something that will likely take place on here eventually, though not very often. I just generally prefer to do morning afters and all that good stuff.

I do crack/shit post, I do a have quite a bit of ooc posts, I do dash commentary at times too.

If you send your male muse at me, it will likely be responded with by a female muse. This is NOT for shipping purposes. This is because I’ve had a bad experience before where even though my muse was a heterosexual male and the one he was threading with was considered bisexual, they began to try and force a ship between them. Not only was the muse itself being extremely pushy but the mun was as well ooc. This also doesn’t mean that I won’t do it at all, if I know the mun isn’t like that or something along those lines then I will be okay with actually doing it.

You can bet your ass I play favorites. This means that there are certain threads I’m likely to respond to first, there are certain asks I will do quicker than others. Usually, this is because me and the other mun have that solid connection ooc and that the muses just really go well together. But don’t let that discourage you, please. That doesn’t mean I won’t rp with you, that doesn’t mean I’ll ignore you and that certainly doesn’t mean that with time you can’t become one as well.

I use icons, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Yes, I also edit my text but that doesn’t mean you have to either in order to rp with me.

My biggest peeve is not cutting your posts. I really hate having to scroll so much just to get past one post. If you don’t cut your posts, I won’t follow or if I already do then I will unfollow once it becomes an issue.

When I unfollow, I do it through soft block because, as I’ve said, you are not just a number in my follower count and I think it’s only fair. So, if I unfollow you and didn’t use this method, that means I personally didn’t unfollow you. It must have been a glitch on tumblr or something and you’re welcome to say something to me.

I generally rp at any length but the longer the reply is the longer it takes for me to do it so I usually try to keep it at 2-3 paragraphs.

I do currently have 39 muses and more are going to come. That’s just how I am. The world in which my muses are in has a lot of possibilities and connections that I like to explore and develop more and as I do, muses come out and sometimes it will be just one and others it can be multiple. Really depends but if you don’t like blogs with too many muses that I wouldn’t follow me.

More will be added as I go and this will be reposted throughout my time here. Thank you for your patience and taking the time to read this! I truly do appreciate it!

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Love your answer about Azazel and sorry if I send you too many ask about him. The only time I didn't find him smart when before he dies. He lost too much time talking shit with Dean and the time travel. Like Dean was send in the past with an angel, he told Azazel how he was going to kill him and Azazel does.. nothing. It was very OOC bc I believe Azazel would have kill Dean sooner (with Mary). Otherwise, do you remember his reaction about Meg and Tom's exorcism ? For him, humans are the villains

     2/2 (same nonny about Azazel) I also think Maryshould have been stuck with AU!Azazel, her arc would have been deeper. Even ifhe killed her in both world, I still think he would find a way to manipulateher and he wouldn’t kill someone from an another universe. But I don’t trustthe writers with Azazel now, he’s better dead.

Nonny, it’s no problem at all! Really, send me all of your Azazel asks! (or any other asks, if you have any) I love answering these. I don’t really get a lot of opportunities to talk about Azazel these days as he seems to be losing his relevance with the fandom the longer this show goes on. I shudder to think that a day may come that this show will have gone on for so long that the fandom will have completely forgotten about the existence of Azazel! It will be a sad day indeed if that ever comes to pass. To forget about a villain as awesome as Azazel…we will have truly embarked upon the darkest timeline if that comes to pass.

And I’m so glad you enjoyed my last answer. Positive reinforcement is awesome. I always enjoy hearing that people enjoy my thoughts.

With how Azazel’s demise came about, I’m a little sketchy on the details. I haven’t watched that episode in a while. But I remember generally what happens. And I have a couple of different ways to look at this.

The first is that Azazel is so full of hubris that despite what Dean told him, Azazel doesn’t really believe Dean. I mean, they’re in the heat of battle and in the heat of battle you want to throw your opponent off-balance. So it’s possible at the end of the day when this whole experience transpired, Azazel just chalked it up to Dean trying to throw him off balance. Azazel is so high up on his high horse, he’s been messing with humans for so long, manipulating them for so long that he probably doesn’t really believe a human would actually be able to kill them. This also ties in to your comment about Azazel caring about his “children” (like Tom and Meg) and dislikes humans. He cares about his demonized children but sees the humans as lesser beings and the fact that these lesser beings sent his children back to hell fills him with such rage he doesn’t think rationally. This also plays into him being a fallen angel and not a demonized human. A fallen angel like him wouldn’t view humanity as equal beings to him. So the contempt he has for human beings could very well have played into why he didn’t do anything about Dean during the whole time-travel thing. Plus, we’ve already established Azazel is an unapologetically evil dude who has an evil plan and he wants people to know it. So monologuing, while tropey and cliché, does feel like something he would do. He was just so overtaken with a sense of self-congratulation that his plan worked, that he was successful, the smartest option to him was eluding him in that moment. Sometimes ego gets in the way of smart decisions.

The second option is he realized the significance of Dean. Azazel was all about making the apocalypse happen. And while on opposite sides, Azazel knew the battle between heaven and hell needed to happen for the apocalypse to happen in the truest sense. Azazel knew what the grand design was. Even though he was on the hell side, Michael and Lucifer still needed to duke it out and he probably realized that Dean was Michael’s true vessel and essential to the Grand Plan. So therefore killing Dean before the destined battle, would be a no-go. 

Yes, I do agree AU!Azazel should have played a part in Mary’s arc in season 13. What they did with Mary was alright I guess but the writers kind of missed the entire crux of what needed to be done with Mary and her current arc at the time of season 13. Her entire character arc was about coming to terms with her past and her past decisions and sending her to the AU world was a great way to explore that. However, other than using Jack as a surrogate son in the place of Sam and Dean, the arc didn’t really do that great of a job in really fleshing out Mary’s inner demons and giving her that sense of relief and peace. Sure, they had a great character moment of Dean coming to terms with Mary and what her decisions lead to in season 12 but that was only part of what needed to be dealt with and the other part really hasn’t been dealt with yet. The writers have given her a sense of peace but I don’t think it was earned. However, her being forced to confront AU!Azazel would definitely have forced her to really come to terms, made the arc more meaningful, and after the battle, that peace and relief she felt would feel more earned in my eyes. An AU!Azazel would definitely have reveled in a chance to manipulate Mary Winchester again and it would’ve been really interesting to see the battle of wills that could’ve taken place between the two. AU!Azazel would’ve wanted to manipulate her, would’ve reveled in it but Mary who’s also been down this road would also be smarter about the whole affair so it would’ve been really interesting to see where that all went. Particularly since this is all taking place in a world that’s been taken over by Michael. The two having to work together to fight Michael yet both sides knowing they can’t trust the other and fully expecting to betray each other. It could’ve been awesome.

It’s not that the writers are necessarily bad or anything now, they just have different priorities when it comes to their plotting and character writing. But because of this shift in priorities, you’re right. I wouldn’t trust these writers to do a character like Azazel justice.

As always, thanks for the ask. Hopefully this was just as satisfying as my last answer.

[15001700tt]

So that meta about cap 3 civil war, I am going to hash it out here on my phone Bc I don’t have the mental capacity to type on my laptop (I just finished episode 6 of wandavision, I am not oka)

So the Sokovia Accords are a bunch of rules and restrictions for enhanced humans to follow. The gist is that whenever enhanced humans (basically superhero’s) want to do anything they have to abide by the accords and get the okay sign from all the countries that signed. While it’s alright to set guidelines and rules this isn’t about whether the countries are right to even sign the accords it’s about what kind of rules are in the accords in the first place. This is a fictional piece in a fictional world so I doubt I can actually find the complete accords to go through it. So I can only go off what others have mentioned and what the movie shows me.

The beginning of the movie starts with cap and Tony in opposite head spaces. Tony just lost pepper after his last mistake (IRONMAN 3) and cap is exactly where we left him in 2014, still trying to find Bucky. Caps headspace didn’t change.

Tony is very vulnerable because of the recent circumstances so of course when the lady at the college accuses him of killing her son, he will feel guilt. Coupled with his history of panic attacks and self doubt, and many many mistakes (see his own movies and age of ultron for reference)

he would of course agree that they need ‘supervision’ because he doesn’t trust himself enough to be able to do the right thing without other people to influence him. Tony isn’t weak minded, he just has a history of always choosing the wrong decisions and so when now he wants to be better and make the right decisions and Ross (that bitch) is like ‘try dangerous’ he completely feels like he has no ground to say no. 

While cap is still the same old cap. He may be captain America but he might as well be the archnemisis of the government. He doesn’t trust governments or in this case countries with making decisions like these. You can clearly see this by his skepticism and going through the accords and reading them. He didn’t get to the ocean rift prison part but he recognized the signs of oppression. I think that came from the 1940s. If we’re being real here, cap got the serum and then was told to be a stage monkey for months bc the government (or military but same thing) decided that they didn’t want one superhuman soldier they wanted an army. That was a wrong decision, he went against it when he went to save the 107th. He makes a point to Tony, when Tony says that they need to be held accountable for their actions. 

"We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame." 

 "No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change." —‘If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose.’

He says this with the experience (let’s say from both cap 1 and 2 to keep it simple) the army made the decision based on profit. And once they found out that he can actually get shit done they changed their mind and allowed the howling commandos to operate. Same with shield and hydra in WS. Hydra was growing with shield and no one even knew and even fury was willing to go with whatever pierce had set UNTIL cap challenged the idea. Cap also makes a point when he’s talking with fury.

Nick Fury: “Shield takes the world as it is, not as we'd like it to be.”

Captain America/Steve Rogers: “This isn't freedom. This is fear!”

Which honestly gives you a very precise and to the point idea of how cap thinks. The government can’t be trusted because governments change.

Cap 3 wasn’t about who was right and who was wrong. Tony and cap are both right. It’s almost like the two sides of the same coin.

Tony no longer trusts himself and needs someone else to make the big boy decisions and cap can only trust himself because he only knows what his intentions are and has been betrayed by people and the government enough times that he can’t put that much power into their hands anymore. Cap even says he wishes he can turn off the part in his brain that keeps fighting against it. But he can’t. Bc he stands for freedom and justice (America’s ass ;))

The subplots of cap 3 literally enforce these ideas. Tony is trying to do the right thing by doing what he’s asked, cap just wanted to keep things as they were. Tony is susceptible to change but cap isn’t. It’s literally his character arc being frozen for 70 years (I am ignoring his stunt in endgame vc that was so OOC)

Cap believes in the people around him when he knows them, he knew Wanda and he knew Bucky on levels the audience and maybe even Tony doesn’t understand. He may not be trusting if people but he believes there’s good in everyone. Tony believes that there’s only wickedness so people need to be held accountable. Which isn’t wrong but it has a Dutch tilt. That’s not how that works because no matter what people say, sometimes they have other intentions. It completely checks out that Tony would lock Wanda in the compound because he doesn’t trust her (because he didn’t trust himself) and it’s not because he doesn’t love her, he was doing this as a way to protect her! While with Bucky he didn’t seem in anyway interested in what happened in Winter Soldier so I can’t really define his thoughts towards him until Tony finds out that Bucky killed his parents. There is the point that he was willing to bring in Bucky to the CIA after the bombing in Vienna but tbh there’s a lot of plot holes when it comes to that so I can’t tackle that either.

Cap is stubborn and Tony learned to weaponize his fear and so when that backfired he was left vulnerable bc he had no strong values or trust in himself. It makes his character so much more intriguing. You have this almost narcissistic philanthropist playboy doubting his own decisions because of a few that went wrong when he was trying to go straight. Coupled with his trauma and it almost too realistic (but somehow still idealistic) the way he reacts to authority.

So when he finds out that Bucky is innocent and Zemo is out there about to release the winter soldiers (we know that this was a pseudo goal but they don’t know that) he realizes that cap was right and that he needed to stop Zemo. And when Ross (that bitch) tells him that he can’t, Tony immediately ignores him. Coupled with the fact that Ross (that bitch) put his friends and teammates in prison cells and fucking collars, which is clearly not only in the accords it’s something that was withheld from them (no wonder Wanda is so fuckin pissed off in endgame) Tony really was against the accords by the pseudo climax (again this was the fake climax bc the winter soldiers were never a threat, Zemo was never going to activate them) but when he finds out about his parents he’s pissed at cap. And Bucky which is understandable he killed his mom.

He’s mad at cap for being a little bit of a hypocrite. Remember —"No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change."? That’s what made Tony go feral in my opinion. Cap withholding this information from Tony was caps way to get Tony to help cap find Bucky which is from all the cap movies is the goal —> hence ‘caps agenda’.

So cap 3 ends with Tony back at the compound and Steve sends him an old ass flip phone. My theory is the cap 3 was never about the accords really, it was about the broken trust between Tony and Steve. Steve kept information from Tony that put Bucky in a bad light. This exchange between them was gut wrenching;

Captain America: I'm sorry Tony.... I wouldn't do this if I had any other choice... but he's my friend.

Tony Stark/Iron Man: So was I.

[ninnieartsies]

hello, it's the fic anon again! do you have any hard limits on the ship in terms of kinks? i wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable when i write the fics in case it gets ns//fw... i certainly would also like a background on raimundo too please (as a whole character) cause i'd be ashamed if i write him too ooc! ♥️ thank you sm for giving me permission to write about your wonderful oc too! 😭💖

sdsfllkds I’m!!  💞 💞

Hard limits would be mainly piss/scat/vomit based stuff. Other than those, I’m pretty aight! So if you wanna go wild and explore some, feel free to! òvób Rai is good for that stuff!

Okay, so I’m putting the stuff about Raimundo under a read more since it gonna be long-ish. TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR CANNIBALISM, SADOMASOCHISM, MEDICAL/INJURY DESCRIPTIONS, bad renders of SCAR PLACEMENT ART, and other stuff!!

This bastard of a man is 190,5cm (6'3’’), and he weighs 74kg (163.14 lbs). His eyes are red, and his hair is black. 

He has a habit of using endearments/petnames on everyone but especially his s/o. These typically are babe, sweetcheeks, darling, my love, love, snookums, snugglebutt, and so on.

SOMEWHAT OF A TL;DR: Think the trope Grumpy/dangerous one being soft for only One Person -ship trope.

Raimundo is a cannibal vampire, which means that he eats other vampires, but will also eat humans. Human blood is like a snack for him, so it doesn’t sustain him, while vampire blood will satisfy him for three days. If he eats human flesh, he’s alright for three days, while if he ate vampire flesh he’d be good for a week.

Rai’s blood is black and tarlike, and it stinks absolutely horrible. It is especially revolting to those with a sensitive nose.

Werewolf blood will make him high (think weed usage).

He’s a sadomasochist, who has a hard time creating emotional bonds with people. But with mutual trust and enough time, anything is possible. His sadomasochism makes it that he can’t get off unless pain and/or humiliation is involved; either him receiving or giving. 

He likes cats and strawberries. 

Strawberries are pretty much the only thing he can eat that’s not raw (human/vampire/other) flesh, without getting sick. Anything else will get him ill.

He can eat meat that is sort of similar to that of a human, be it raw or cooked.

He can’t read or write due to his brain damage.

Enjoys being read stories to.

Rai’s kinks are basically: anything goes. 

Can both top or bottom, both are fine. Though I usually have him top or Katsuk be a power bottom. But you do you!

Rai likes to sit or lay on the floor. For some reason, he finds it comfortable. 

He doesn’t understand technology at all. TV and phones are filled with demons. Automatic doors are hell, and escalators are the stairs of satan.

When he’s after affection, he may squish Bakug. Think big dog thinking its a lapdog. 

Bakugou is someone Rai trusts and respects immensely, and the only one he can fully relax around. This is why he may nap laying on top of him. 

When Katsuki’s busy, Rai may just lay close by to him, or curled around him, as long as he can have a little bit of physical contact, then he’s happy.

Since Rai can turn into a bat, he may also hide himself under the collar of Baku’s shirt and join him on little outings. (Katsuk’s emotional support bat, lmao).

The bat size is basically big ears and a body that’s the size of your hand/palm + wing span. Black bat.

Rai’s and Bakug’s relationship is first and foremost built on mutual respect: Both are aware that they can injure each other badly or even kill each other, if something goes wrong. 

He’s got a bunch of scars littering his body, most noticeable being those on his throat and over his nose. 

and a burn scar in the form of a cross on his back.

Now then his personality: 

Raimundo’s sense of fear has dwindled to almost nonexistent since his brain damage got severe enough. He’s very street smart, and one for close combat, and will keep going, despite getting injured in the process… Now, despite him being what you’d call an apex predator, Raimundo is clumsy when he’s somewhere comfortable. He has a tendency to trip over carpets, and fall down stairs (be it him going up or down them). But once he is outside again, and this clumsy streak is nowhere to be seen. This is because he unconsciously switches on/off his survival instinct. Out in the wild/in the cities, he has to keep an eye on the surroundings and not get caught.

Raimundo is pretty violent by nature, in addition to being reckless. He has issues in showing his feelings in other ways than being a complete asshole, or through bursts of aggression. Raimundo is not someone who’d cry, he hasn’t cried since he was a kid. When he’s sad or upset, he tends to get violent. He also has a hard time trusting anyone enough to form a relationship with them. If anyone would be interested in him enough to suggest dating, they’d need to be patient. Very patient. 

He CAN love if the stars align right, and everything clicks. Once he finds his ideal mate, Raimundo is surprisingly cuddly, and he quite enjoys close contact with his SO. He is also POSSESSIVE, and will mark his chosen one often with bites. These bites will be deep and may require stitches if he is not careful enough. Rai is also not shy to show affection through kisses, and/or other means. He may also get easily jealous and act out on it. In bed, he, by default, will be rough. There will be blood involved; it’s either he or his partner that is bleeding. His partners do not have to worry, though. He does not EAT them he views as his. But he may bite too hard since he can’t control himself always due to the brain damage. 

Raimundo’s possessiveness can become an issue. He does not like others touching what is his, and even less if they upset his s/o even a little.

When you reach a friend status, or a trustworthy status in general, Raimundo will be sort of pleasant to be around. He will crack jokes and he’ll even be ready to help you with stuff, if he deems you worthy of his time, more or less. Rai can and will use bad pickup lines for the heck of it if it means he can make Katsuki laugh. For example: sit next to him on the couch, and put an arm around him and say “So. Ya c’mere of’en?” 

Then for the fun part! Raimundo’s medical issues. 

He has BRAIN DAMAGE called CHRONIC TRAUMATIC ENCEPHALOPATHY, that has altered his personality; affects his learning, memories, fine motor skills, and causes seizures.

These seizures can last from a few seconds to a few minutes. In his case, they are unpredictable and episodic. Having lived alone for so long, he doesn’t recognize symptoms, nor does he even understand that he has a brain injury, to begin with.

(Usually, he gets a seizure when he gets overwhelmed, when it’s TOO loud, or he’s idle for too long. Having all his senses stimulated heavily at the same time, may also result in a seizure. Hitting his head or getting a hard enough blow to his head can also cause seizures.)

He thinks it’s normal to black out, be disorientated, and to have gaps in his memory. Now, encephalopathy was also triggered by Rai’s habbit to CANNIBALISM, which he picked up from his step brother.  Even Raimundo’s AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR is linked to CTE. As his aggressiveness took a more active part, it in turn dwindled his self-preservation to a bare minimum. Raimundo does understand danger, but MIGHT NOT ACT like someone would expect one to.

Other symptoms in addition to the seizures are his MEMORY LOSS and TROUBLE CONCENTRATING FOR LONG PERIODS of time. He needs to take breaks or he gets frustrated, which in turn can lead to an aggressive outburst. His ABILITY TO LEARN is also affected, it being much slower than that of an average human. He, however, is stubborn so he does not easily give up, but he gets very frustrated when something doesn’t go as he hoped.

Raimundo also has some trouble with his dexterity or fine motor skills. Grasping a pencil is very hard, for example. He can’t always control the strength of his grip either, it being too loose or too strong at times. His hands also shake.

Raimundo’s use of endearments/petnames really comes down to him not bothering to remember names, since he’d probably just forget them after a bad seizure episode.

Katsuki, however, has made a lasting impression, so his name is pretty much etched into Rai’s brain and the few brain cells he got working. Rai also calls Bakugou by his given name, Katsuki. 

AFTER THE SEIZURES

he is disorientated, often scared, and confused. Then he becomes lethargic and very SLEEPY. He might think he’s moving, i.e. lifting a hand, but instead, he’s just laying still. Usually, something familiar will help him to GROUND himself. A FAMILIAR VOICE or SCENT calms him down and keeps him from spiraling down into, worst-case scenario, another seizure.

If he is with someone he trusts, he will be more than happy to cuddle/hold hands/anything that offers him some sort of comfort & allows him to calm down.

Rest is important. So don’t be too surprised if he spends hours sleeping after a seizure. Depending on how bad it was it can be a short-ish nap, or he sleeps practically the whole day away.

His speech will slur, he won’t make as much sense, and his reaction time is drastically reduced. He is at his most vulnerable after a seizure.

After a seizure he may also lose memories. Sometimes he can get a fuzzy version of a memory back, but mostly they’re gone forever.

HIS VOICE

Since an incident where he was attacked by a beast (chimera), that left the scars on his throat a century ago, Raimundo’s voice has been altered. IT’S HOARSE, a little bit strained as the vocal-cords in his throat are PERMANENTLY DAMAGED despite his healing and regenerating abilities.

(The incident almost killed him, so the healing process took more priority in keeping him alive than to worry about his vocal cords.)

In order to not irritate his throat, HE DOESN’T SPEAK THAT MUCH. If he does, he has to take breaks in order to let his voice and throat rest. It is inconvenient, but he’s learned to live with it.

Some days he may opt not to speak if his throat/voice is acting up.

Raimundo also purrs when he’s content or happy. He may also hiss, growl, snarl, shriek… All of the sounds he makes will still keep the same strain. Since Raimundo originally was a human, his growls/snarls will never sound as natural as they would if they came from a wolf, for example.

SKILLS

HE CAN TURN INTO A BAT; he might “hibernate” during the coldest months

EXTRAORDINARY CLIMBING SKILLS: Climbs vertical walls like it’s nothing, and might also crawl along the ceiling. That means, he has some killer gripping force. He can also climb walls while carrying someone.

REGENERATION/FAST HEALING: depending on wounds 2 days to 4 weeks+++

“MOVING” THROUGH SHADOWS; practically just got A game in hiding in shadows, in disappears into them. As long as light doesn’t touch him, he’s practically invisible.

HAS THE STRENGTH TO BREAK BONES, with his bare hands.

EXTRAORDINARY HEARING: can in a sense see even as blind, thanks to his hearing alone (think bats and echolocation, tho not as sharp). To navigate blind, he will need a noise source.

A GOOD SENSE OF SMELL.

SPEAKS ENGLISH, AND DEMONIC/BEASTIAL LANGUAGE (albeit broken, as he can’t reach the ranges a demon/beast could). 

And broken heavily accented Japanese when with Bakug. Will also mess up meanings of words, or come up with new words.

ex. fries = elongated potatoes

WEAKNESSES

HOLY WATER: burns like acid. Digested he’d cough up blood and probably his intestines, and thus die.

HOLY ARTIFACTS; can kill him if used correctly (i.e. the artifacts are made into weapons). Mostly they just give him a migraine.

SUNLIGHT: The exposed skin starts to bubble and eventually bursts open. Depending on the severity and exposure, the spot can burst into flames. Throw him into a sun-exposed area and you will practically witness him be burned alive. A very painful death.

TRAUMA TO THE HEAD: can cause him to have a seizure at worst, but at the least it makes him disorientated.

WEREWOLF BLOOD will get him high as a kite.

If one was TO KILL RAIMUNDO, you just need to pierce his heart with a weapon of your choice, or alternatively, destroy his brain. He can also bleed to death if he is not careful. But for a quick death, the two other ways are more effective.

[ceasedtimea]

So, it’s something I’ve wanted to touch on for a while now, and I guess I’ve been putting it off out of lack of the right words, or perhaps not wanting to offend anybody with my own opinions, however I guess it’s time to sum up my bittersweet relationship with Chris-Crossed and personal feelings on the matter of Chris and Bianca.

Before I begin though, I would like to point out I DO NOT HATE BIANCA, quite on the contrary, I ACTUALLY LOVE HER CHARACTER, and I think she had a lot of potential, that kind of went to waste because of at best sloppy writing of Charmed in season six.

Alright, so now when we have that out of the way, let me introduce you to a few points and thoughts I have on this, hopefully making some sense. Let’s break this down.

CHRIS-CROSSED. The reason I have issues with Chris-Crossed is very much mainly the inconsistency with Chris’s writing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an ongoing issue especially the further the show proceeds ; I am also very aware a person acts differently around different people, and for different reasons. However, with only one episode to showcase a quick look into the reality Chris comes from (which I still love despite everything), I don’t think they made quite sensible choices when it comes to character continuity, seeing as Chris behaves very out of character for much of the episode.

MY POINT. Basically, I didn’t like the way their relationship was written in, resorting to a cheap love interest plot that had the character act ooc. Now, before you get mad at me ; Bianca wasn’t actually, in my opinion, rendered to a cheap love interest  ——  just and episodic character with wasted potential. The love interest was made out of Chris, who up until that point in time expressed clear manipulative nature, very clear-headed, calculated actions, and definite of emotional attachment (which with knowing where he came from makes a lot of sense), however rendering him to this…  lost person who needed love for the humanity factor.

MY VIEW ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Now again, don’t get me wrong, I love Bianca. I think she had so much potential, and I think many people would agree with me that she also deserved much better than she got. The thing is, however, with Charmed being very much a 90s family show that paid very little regard towards mental issues, or the characters’ backgrounds, or even the rules of the world that given the circumstances were always different, their story wasn’t really developed in a way that made much sense. That being said, I think it was far more complicated than what we received, as well as beneficial to both sides, with a spark of kindred spirits in very extreme and traumatic circumstances.

HOW I THINK IT PLAYED OUT. Listen, they were both trapped in the world created by Wyatt, with difficult pasts and very little control over their own lives. They both had a part to play, and the beginning of their relationship wasn’t brought by fate, but by Wyatt himself. See, Chris was difficult, resilient, and that’s enough to understand he must have spent at least some time by Wyatt’s side. And Wyatt to somehow prompt his change, decides to send his trusted assassin to turn Chris ; but with Chris already knowing how to survive in this horrible world does him a disservice and instead turns Bianca. Resulting in only ever trusting her, in hiding with her when he was planning his journey to the past. All the way up to a relationship. Keep in mind, it was 100% Chris’s plan because consider sensibly, despite what the episode provided  ——  why would Bianca care with what happened to Wyatt, if Wyatt never did her any favours, and was no family to her.

SOME TRUTHS & REASONING. When you consider where they come from, and what their past is, their scenes in the episode start having more sense, and why what was between them is suddenly more interesting, reasonable, and in my opinion, better.     ——  First of all, keep in mind Bianca was a couple of years older than Chris. She was already a young girl when Chris wasn’t even conceived, which considering the fact it all played out sometime from when he was sixteen to nineteen and onwards, it had to play some part in it.    ——  Given Chris’s past, and everything we know (or don’t know) about him, it’s safe to sayChris was beyond traumatized, and filled with loss, as well as displaying extreme trust issues, and with a good reason. That left very little capacity for love and trust during that time, especially if he had to fend for himself, and his own survival (and I truly believe it was the same for her).    ——  You do, however, need to trust someone sometime, and I think the beginning of everything was Chris deciding to take a risk. I  think especially the beginnings of their relationship weren’t very healthy. I personally believe it was simply a mutually beneficial relationship, with a side of Chris displaying a lot of his (canon) manipulative behaviors, that keep in mind must have been much worse considering the kind of world he lived in.    ——  It’s only from there that feelings grew, as complicated as they were. I think they found many mutual goals, as well as some comfort in having someone in a world in which people like them couldn’t really afford it. I think that was how loyalty shifted from Wyatt to Chris, especially since he made a compelling case ; then again shifted towards mutual loyalty, before feelings started to grow, essentially rendering each other perhaps the only true allies, a warm body in the face of painful loneliness, and soon a makeshift, broken family.    ——  Finally, in terms of engagement, my logic here is much like behind Chris being solely the planning party behind everything, opposed to the way Chris-Crossed displayed. I truly believe that was actually a bit of a desperate move on Chris’s side, and while I also will continue to say he meant it, it was a bit of a manipulative move. I am not afraid to admit my muse being problematic. Now, consider this ; that’s a promise of many things, and above all loyalty. Considering what Chris’s plan was, I am certain he was very aware he would most likely not come back, and especially not to a world such as he left it, if things worked out. There were literally only two options ; he goes back to a changed reality (for the sake of his brother), or he dies. I guess both happened. But if he is leaving her behind, it’s better to leave hope. And that’s why it hurt even more when she appeared in the past. Because it was a betrayal, although understood from the point of knowing who Wyatt was ; but still, a betrayal.

MATTER OF LOVE. Now, we’re coming to a point that I think is the most important to me. I do strongly believe Chris loved Bianca, in his own way, true to his own ability for that feeling. However, seeing as after everything he has been through, his capacity for it was low at best, it was never as easy, as simple, or truly as healthy as it could have been if the world wasn’t shit. I think what Chris valued the most, very much outside of the romantic factors, was the friendship they shared, the fact that as paranoid and unable to trust (for good reasons) as he was, he still had that one person he could trust. That he could turn to, and work with, and finally even find comfort with in terms of emotional, as well as physical support.     Which is also why Bianca’s death truly, genuinely upset Chris on a very deep level, as she remained the last person he cared about to have died on him. I think on some deep level he expected something like that to happen either way, which along with having a lot of practice with people close to him dying (often in his arms), as usual he couldn’t let this bring him away from his initial goal. One which always remained his priority.     Finally, I also strongly believe Bianca loved him a little more than he loved her. As I said, for Chris doing what he went back to do was his main priority, and something he was ready, and did end up sacrificing everything for. Bianca didn’t really seem to have anyone but Chris, but for Chris there was always still that  ——  and of course his brother, who despite doing him no good, being turned evil, and despite better judgement, remained Chris’s only family, and therefore someone he cared about, and wanted to save despite everything.

AFTER DARK FUTURE. Well, this gets a little tricky. I strongly believe their maybe in the Changed Future probably wouldn’t happen. If they met at all, I don’t think (considering their age and affiliation) it would be something that would last. Perhaps they’d grow close, perhaps they wouldn’t, maybe they’d end up together for a while, but I think their story is very much meant to remain in the Dark Future. I don’t think it’s a love that would essentially lead to a long-lasting relationship, and frankly I am more inclined to believe they’d remain close in another way. Or not, but that entirely depends. I also believe that because of my headcanon Chris ends up remembering the Dark Future on his 23rd birthday (aka the day he died in the past),I think he’d rather leave that chapter in the past for both of their sakes.

TO SUM IT UP! I wanted to put this out there, because it’s primarily the headcanon I will always use for myself. It doesn’t at all mean I don’t want to rp with any Biancas or anything, quite on the contrary. I would die to develop this relationship, to explore it, and I am also by no means closing up my options for the endgame part, and definitely not the ship part, it’s just Chris is a very difficult and essentially broken person  ——  and that strongly depends on chemistry that would follow.

[inuyashaographer]

Manga vs. Anime - Kagome Edition #48 - Kyokotsu

A elderly white wolf is seen rushing through the forest attempting to run away from a group of small demons, who manage to swoop down on him and bite into him. However there attempts to kill and eat him, are interrupted by Koga who appears and dispatches of them easily enough. The wolf however already knows that it's too late for himself and reveals that he'd abandoned his own territory, after an attack by a being that has neither the scent of a demon nor a human, but a scent of a body long dead and grave soil, began devouring demons around the area. The anime adds in a bit more before the white wolf appears, showing Kohaku's involvement in their revival as he visits and shatters their grave with a bunch of jewel shards. Kagome, Inuyasha and the group come to a stop as they ponder if Naraku is laying out a trap for them, while we get a recap of the remarks from the monkey god, this isn't a canon scene, but it's treated like one that would appear later on in this section. Ayame's appearance after this would lead to the white wolves appearance, with Ayame being a member of the tribe that was attacked and the grand-daughter of the white wolf. This generally sets up a good section of the episode, with Ayame and members of the tribe trying to run away from the demons as well as Kyokotsu, and protecting the white wolf. With it comes a change in the wolf that Koga meets, a brown wolf who is also a member and elder of the wolf tribe, whose attacked by demons in an attempt to distract the demons away from Ayame and the white wolf. The wolf dies with Koga and his companions giving the wolf a proper burial before he decides to check into the situation himself, assuming the situation has Naraku's involvement, especially when he realizes that Inuyasha is nearby. Meanwhile Inuyasha realizes the very same thing when he notices Koga's scent around the area, Kagome, Miroku and Sango he must be moving on a clue of his own. This scene in the anime had Ayame added into the end of it, with her passing along some information about the situation. Elsewhere a young monk and his pupil attempt to go and find this every large being, assuming that it's a demon and that they can exercise it, however upon the appearance of the "demon" in question, they run away in fear when they see him devouring a demon. The anime continues with the meeting between Ayame and the group, with Kagome healing up the white wolf as he passes along information. Going there seperate ways, Kagome promises Ayame if they find Koga they'll let him know that Ayame is alright. Before she leaves Ayame warns about the smell of Kyokotsu. Kohaku appears moments later, telling the being, Kyokotsu, that soon he'll be meeting people with jewel shards. Kyokotsu is pleased by this news and promises to get the jewel shards, unlike the failed attempts of past Naraku followers. He tells Kohaku to leave, only to attempt to attack him the moment he sees the jewel shard in Kohaku's back. Kohaku swiftly retaliates, slicing Kyokotsu's hand clean off, before Naraku's insects appear next to Kohaku. Realizing that he's being watched Kyokotsu's stands down, reaching down for his severed hand and puts it back into place. Koga and his wolves in the meantime are rushing towards the area, however Koga's wolves soon find themselves attacked by Kyokotsu himself. Kyokotsu assumes that Koga is one of the people that Kohaku was talking about, as Koga realizes that Kyokotsu is the person that the elder wolf was speaking of. Kyokotsu is suprised to find that the scent of his grave is still on him, considering he'd been removed from his grave sometime ago, but puts that aside for the moment as he tries to make a grab for Koga in an attempt to eat him. Koga instead outspeeds him, managing to bound up into the air, and land a hard kick right up against Kyokotsu's face, knocking him down to the ground. Kyokotsu realizes that he was right about his assumption earlier, that Koga does have shards and their in his legs. A confused Koga questions what exactly Kyokotsu is, finding no hint of scent from him of Naraku, he writes off the possibility of him being apart of Naraku. Kyokotsu claims that he's just a simple human, which Koga scoffs off. Kyokotsu reveals that the reason for his revival is due to the jewel shard in his had, before Kyokotsu again attempts to rush at Koga. Koga's speed again gets the better of of Kyokotsu, whose attempt to grab Koga, only ends in him slapping himself in his own face, Koga follows this up by literally twisting his around, seemingly snapping his neck and sending Kyokotsu crashing to the ground. Koga is apprehensive about his win, finding it too easy, before Kyokotsu reaches out and grabs him, once more attempting to eat him. Koga once more stops him, this time punching him right in the head, which Kyokotsu laughs off, before Koga rips the shard out from his head, leading Kyokotsu to crash down to the ground in a heap of bones, pinning Koga down in place before Naraku's insects appear. Koga watches as the insects reach down and grab the jewel that Koga managed to pull out away, now knowing Naraku's involvement in the situation. With the anime it's only natural that they expanded this fighting section, giving him a ball and chain to fight with, but the fight ends up about the same, only Koga finds himself in more trouble than before, actually turns his back on the seemingly dead Kyokotsu and Ayame appears. The anime actually adds in a pretty odd scene with Koga kicking Kyokotsu in the head shard-to-shard, which sends off a light that basically everyone sees. Oh, and the ball in chain was actually Naraku's insects. This scene ends with Ayame thanking him for what he's done, before she says goodbye to him. He tells her to be careful, which Ayame states that Kagome told her the same thing, hearing this Koga smiles to himself a bit. Elsewhere Kohaku reports to another, Jakotsu who comments on Kyokotsu's death, but isn't surprised, considering he was the weakest of the group. Jaokotsu however seems much more interested in his opponent, Inuyasha and how cute he is, pondering what the color of his blood looks like.

Notes

This covers Episode #102: "Assault on the Wolf-Demon Tribe” and Chapter #234: "The Ghost”, Chapter #235: “Kyokotsu” of the manga.

A Koga centric section that showed that Koga was a lot more capable than he'd been shown to be up to this point. The Band of 7 arc was really where he began to shine, he didn't really lose his shine going forward in the series, but he was probably at his very best during this arc.

I really don't know what they were going for with the shard flash in this episode, everyone around the area actually saw it but only Ayame actually went over to see it. Kagome and Inuyasha don't even go to check it out, which is odd and the anime never actually acknowledges it again. In the manga, it could be a little jarring considering that Koga and Inuyasha were rushing in to check things out, and Inuyasha and Kagome never make it to where Kyokotsu is, but the manga never states they were going the same specific location, just that they were going into the same area, with that flash of light I would have expected the anime to do some kind of meet-up between the two groups and Ayame, but oddly that doesn't happen.

There isn't really a whole lot to be said about Kyokotsu. Kohaku proved to be more than capable of stopping him in his tracks, and Koga wasn't even trying. He was mostly brought in to set the stage for what was to follow, showing that removing the jewel was the way to defeat them, revealing Naraku's involvement, showing they were just revived humans and preparing for the arrival of both Jakotsu and Mukotsu, who, are very similar to one another, and proved to be a lot more interesting.

I believe this is the only time when Naraku's insects actually form into an object, and it's an anime only thing all other times they merged together they usually merged to form body parts. Even more interesting is that there were only 4 of them that made up that rather large ball and chain.

Last appearance of Ayame in the anime until the very end of the anime series. Because of that I want to give a brief talk about her character, since I probably won't ever be able to, and if I am, it won't come until the end of the series. We see a dramatic change in her character from this point to her last appearance in the series. Att hat time she shows to be insanely jealous over Koga's one-sided feelings for Kagome, even at the end of the episode saying that she will train herself to sense the jewel shards like Kagome. She leaves on not-so-friendly terms, however in this episode, while they do acknowledge that, Kagome and Ayame seem to be on great terms, and seem to have a ton of respect for one another, for Ayame that's a big change, for Kagome not so much since she was just kind of stuck in the middle of the situation and didn't return those feelings anyway. That being said, I kind of like the change, I just felt it came to quick and I thought the goodbye between her and Koga was a nice touch, though Koga's remarks were a bit out of place for it... however he has to say that, for the canon content and we still had to get through a scene later in this arc with Koga. Props at the very least for Sunrise trying to work a filler character in and actually sort of making it work, and even more-so for them actually remembering her enough to include her at the end of the series. Again odd shift in character, but that being said, I didn't mind it, but it's a reminder of not only how drastic things can change in filler, but how characters personalities can be altered around in filler to fit a certain approach to get a specific result, even for the main characters, regardless of how OOC it might be.