#sometimes operates the ship

[inspectorspacetimerevisited]

Occasionally, the Inspector decides to operate the BOOTH with the safeties disengaged,

which naturally leads to various failures, such as ending up in an alternate universe.

[openthefobwatch]

When I first watched mincemeat I didn't even ship montlie, like there was no point where I was like 'these two characters would be good together' I just spent the entire show genuinely expecting them to kiss. And was quite surprised when they didn't.

[chiimeramanticore]

you guys are choosing what ships/media you enjoy based entirely on the genders/sexualities of the characters and not the quality of the actual content? that's not a joke?

[circuslollipop]

sara sn0w is a Weird Girl TM (affectionate) in my head btw

[omophagic-beast]

thinking abt a game where you play as ghost hunting fishermen, trawling dried out lakes and seabeds for the ghosts of ancient marine life that are causing trouble for the creatures that live there now

long haul trucking + fishing + cowboys + ghost hunting

[seddair]

.

[dilfosaur]

well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so

let's talk!

i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow

so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)

but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out

basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol

i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension

a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.

i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.

don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer

there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball

i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done

i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep

but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself

so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project

tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point

the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed

they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess

i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me

a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me

and that! is when i finally snapped!

i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately

i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team

and the real kicker?

august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video

and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly

it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing

but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion

i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people

tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol

(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)

this shit was truly

so ass.

but i'm moving past it now

but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!

and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')

happy new year!

[sammysamstuff]

I think that the people who are disappointed in Hugh’s answers are new to the fandom and really don’t know him and how he operates and communicates. It’s the only explanation to this ridiculous circus.

Because he’s acknowledged the love and romance between Hannibal and Will many times in the past. The uniqueness of their love. He did that in serious interviews. Just go through the dozens of interviews he’s done through the years and you’ll see. I’m not going to do the homework for you. I’ve been here long enough to know he ships Hannigram and that his acting and collaboration on the show are the actual reason we have some of the most romantic and beautiful scenes on the show.

Also, Hugh loves to take the mick. He’s sarcastic and ironic and on the other hand, can sometimes be very literal in the way he expresses himself (e.g. explaining what he meant by Platonic love, he meant it in the philosophical way).

He won’t say what you’d like to hear. He’s British after all. Moreover, British actors are not famous for doing fan service, quite on the contrary. (PS: if you come from the Johnlock fandom, you know what I mean).

This is a man who was speaking to someone at a Halloween party and that person was dressed as a Pokémon and he pretended he didn’t know what Pokémon was. For the duration of the conversation. Simply to take the mick. He also lied and said he didn’t know the ship was called Hannigram and that he had never read fanfics. Only for Mads Mikkelsen to later tell a fan “he’s a liar, he sends me Hannigram fics all the time”.

He knows what y’all want to hear and he won’t give you that because he’s British, he’s sarcastic, and his personality is not that of fan service. So get over it.

He collaborated and acted beautifully on the show knowing what he was conveying with his scenes: “it’s beautiful”, putting Mads Mikkelsen’s hands around his waist, looking lovingly into Mads’ eyes… those were all his choices because he was conveying the love Will felt for Hannibal. That’s that.

[cornkernelle]

..So about that old post of mine- I found the file of the uncolored comic. This was supposed to be the first of many polyship comics I was planning to do for WH. I ended up finding a new hyperfixation.. but you can have it. Why not? The context is just an old headcanon from how I thought the neighborhood would operate. Frank would sometimes help Howdy with his store's stock and keeping things organized. In a later comic, Eddie would help with deliveries and it'd end up being a trio ship between the three <:')

That's it for now, I have more to post for my latest interest.. Cookierun.

[yandere-romanticaa]

An idea that I really like is Ratio falling for someone who is his complete and total opposite in every way imaginable.

He is the kind of person that operates on pure cold logic and facts. He believes in what he sees in front of him with his own two eyes and yes, while it may be fascinating, perhaps even a little entertaining, to philosophize about various unimaginable concepts they are all indeed just that.

Concepts. Ideas. Things made up from the bottom of the bored human psyche.

Veritas Ratio is a man who is able to grasp many, dare he say, possibly every concept he has ever encountered. He loves a challenge but hardly anything is challenging to him because he is such a genius. He devours books that are over a thousand pages long, the most complicated equations of any science are finished by his hand with such ease that many people might mistake him for a machine rather than a man of flesh and blood.

That's what makes it so fun to see him fall for an airhead. A person who probably doesn't care, or doesn't have the mental capacity to care about such things. This person would rather spend their days dallying away, picking flowers, baking, just doing things that are so mundane and plain (to him). If they do decide to read, it is some trashy romance model, maybe even just straight up written porn if they're just that shameless.

And this is the person who has Ratio grabbing his head in frustration.

He's shaking with anger in his room, golden eyes wobbly as he watches you walk up and down the space ship. You got lost, again. How much of an imbecile are you? Do you truly need someone to guide you through everything? With a huff, the scientist grabs his head made of plaster and makes his exist. He puts the mask on and in no time finds you, all lost in the hallways. You hear his upcoming footsteps before you see him and once you turn around, you are greeted with that bizarre mask you've grown so accustomed to.

You greet the man cheerfully, to which he just huffs. With his arms crossed, Ratio gives you a long and detailed lesson on how you ought to be more careful and aware of your surroundings, that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated. You are not a child and should stop acting like one.

Tears swell in your eyes but none are shed as the two of you turn back, him being a few steps ahead of you. Two pairs of footprints sound incredibly loud in this long and dark corridor. Veritas hears you quietly weeping and he feels the slight inkling of guilt pulling his heartstrings.

... Perhaps he was a smidge too harsh with you.

You are a clueless creature, sure. But maybe, he sometimes reveled in that fact. It was wrong and he would never admit it out loud but his heart whispered it clearly to him - you like this.

Veritas watched you carefully through the reflection of the window, the plaster head concealing the expression on his face. With your lips in a full pout and eyes watery like fresh morning dew, he couldn't help but to be just slightly charmed.

He scoffed to himself as he pressed onwards. He figured he had better standards for himself but that was not the case, clearly.

And just like that, he had escorted you back to your room. He could hear you mumble out a quiet thank you, which he acknowledged with a polite nod with his head.

He's not that cruel. Or rude for that matter!

With the situation now swiftly dealt with, Ratio figured it was high time he went back to his studies. He has already wasted far too much precious time on this, he isn't even sure when he'll finish that -

His train of thought is broken when he feels a pair of arms gently embrace him from behind, the warmth welcoming and dare he say sweet.

Veritas stilled, his body like the statue which some saw him to be. You still could not see his face but his anger could still be felt.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" he spat at you, his tone cold but venomous.

He felt your face being pressed against his broad back, fat tears caking his fine clothing. Just as he was about to pry your hands off him, he heard you finally speak:

"Thank you for helping me. Really..."

Your tone was soft and remorseful. You did not want to disturb him but despite that, you did just that. He was willing to accept your apology and have this situation be over with but what you said next simply knocked all of the air out of his lungs.

"You see, I... I wasn't sure how I could get your attention. I just wanted you to notice me, to talk to me..."

.... Goodness.

He was used to people trying to get his attention but to act like such a pathetic damsel in distress was new. He had to give you credit for your creativity, at the very least.

"I want to be your friend. I also want you to teach me all sorts of things-"

Ratio stopped listening to you mid sentence, his mind running hundreds of laps in thought. Perhaps you weren't the idiot he saw you as. Your little ploy worked, clearly. And if he took you under his wing, who knew what would become of you.

He could turn you into a diamond with his own two hands.

It was embarrassing just how giddy the thought made him.

The shadows of curiosity and some other emotions took over his mind as he analyzed the situation. There really was no harm in taking you all for himself.

Besides, if you were capable of this deceitful plan, who knew what else you could do?

He was eager to find out.

[searchingforserendipity25]

thinking about humans in space (deep space nine humans). environmental settings are not enough. environmental settings are not enough! if we get affected by seasonal affective disorders, humans in space probably do too, big time.

these people need solariums and arboretums and pools and a room that is just one single false sun-lit structure for them to hang inside the unnatural light spilling out of nonexistent windows.

and besides that, they need designated holosuite times in natural settings. they need counseling in rock gardens and a considerable amount of collective service animals. they absolutely need a trip to bajor at least sometimes.

i realize there are other star trek series where the crew lives nearly always inside the ship but those people are going warp speed ahead through space and time.

there's a level of dynamic movement in that reality that stimulates the sense of living in relationship with a wider environment (very much like, well, living on a ship in relationship with the sea and marine creatures and tides and winds). while deep space nine is still! all the time! no movement, nothing organic at all about an old ore-processing center.

humans do not do well in those conditions. humans are persistence predators and gatherers; you've gotta give them something to persist against, or they'll start defecting to the maquis or moving to bajor to research deep valleys or commit occasional acts of necromancy in the operating table.

forget touching grass, humans need to touch natural gravity once a year or they get weird, and weird things start happening around. just look at chief o'brien, he's got the laws of probability set to give him an headache with how many radioactive near-disasters he's played around with and succeeded against.

[piosplayhouse]

I think what's interesting about bingqiu is how since their relationship dynamic is so convoluted and they each fulfill so many different roles of powers in each other's lives there's a few variations on the fundamental core of the ship that often determines how/if people enjoy it. Mainly what I'm thinking is that there's like the student x teacher layer, which is the most often criticized from outside of the fandom but also has some fans who get a lil Freudian with it sometimes, the hero x villain layer, which is where sqq is operating for like 80% of the book, the Mary sue protagonist x normal guy layer, which is where a lot of bingyuan w PIDW native shen yuan passion flows from I feel, and then there's the redditor x his waifu layer, which I assume makes up a sizable proportion of the fandom because it's the funniest

[reve-writes]

—the set-up; kaz brekker.

ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 1,8k words. ʚ from this request. | three times the crows plan to set you and kaz up + the one time they find out you're married. ʚ fluff; the crows are featured (incl. wesper & helnik ship); kaz's touch aversion isn't featured. ʚ a/n this has been sitting in the drafts for a bit. ive been suffering down the leon brainrot hole (honestly an excellent one to fall into). kaz calls reader schatje (i have a fic where he does this. i chose schatje because ketterdam is loosely inspired from 1500s-1700s amsterdam!). i wrote this in a goofy way honestly.

one. he smiles.

Wylan fiddles with jars and tubes filled with an assortment of chemicals—some of them tend to explode, all of them horrible smelling. He's supposed to be on guard duty and he prefers it over running around guns blazing alongside Jesper—as much as he loves the sharpshooter, gunshots give him a lot of anxiety.

He peers into the room where most of the work is happening.

You are poring over stacks of documents, eyes scanning quickly top-to-bottom to find relevant information. Kaz has his ear pressed against the front of a safe, gloved hand twisting the lock. You move around him in the cramped office space with relative ease, grabbing more files to read on the desk.

It doesn't take long for the safe to swing open.

“No safe is safe from Kaz Brekker, the safe-cracker, huh?” you comment. A light, teasing smile decorates your lips.

“Please never say that sentence again.”

To Wylan's surprise, the ever-frowning Dirtyhands smiles. Not the half-hearted hospitable smile he occasionally gives out, or the scary half-sneer half-smirk that is so intimidating it scares even Wylan sometimes. No, a genuine, amused smile. It is so unnatural that he has to look away, a hand clasped over his mouth in shock.

When he tells Jesper, the taller man mirrors his reaction, dark eyes blown wide and jaw unhinged.

“He smiled?” Jesper gives an incredulous stare as if Wylan has just told him that he is a member of the Council of Tide—which is impossible with Wylan's lack of Grisha ability, let alone tidemaking. “He smiled over that?”

Wylan nods enthusiastically.

“We are talking about the same Kaz?”

“Are there any other Kaz that we know?” Wylan sighs.

“Well, no—”

“I think we have to proceed with the plan,” Wylan ponders. Jesper blinks widely.

“The plan?”

“Nina's plan!” Wylan looks at Jesper as if he's just gotten a strike of inspiration, hand in the air, pointing at nothing in particular. “Operation Kaz and ____. Remember?”

Jesper remembers. It was so ridiculous that it remains impossible to remove from his memory to this day, even though it was mentioned in passing.

Nina, flushed red from too many drinks, suddenly shoots her hand up, flailing it limply. The founder of the idea seems to have a plan ready to set in motion.

“We are the gods of love!” She drunkenly declares, free hand moves to tap Wylan's cheeks repeatedly. “And as the benevolent gods that we are, our first mission is them.”

Nina pushes Wylan's face towards you and Kaz, sat at the bar, deep in conversation. The rest of the Crows followed suit, realising Nina's suggestion. She stumbles over drunkenly and with little-to-no care on making it look as natural or accidental as she can, "trips" over her foot and falls forward.

You take the brunt of the force, being pushed forward that you fall onto Kaz. The latter glares at Nina, hand coming to your shoulder to steady you.

“My bad.... It seems I've lost my balance,” she slurs. “Oh! Would you look at that? The two of you would make quite a pair, don't you think so, Matthias?”

Matthias raises an eyebrow, already hauling Nina with him to get back to their table.

“Poor Helvar,” says Kaz simply, nudging you to get back on the barstool.

“He doesn't seem to mind,” you retort, noting Matthias' loving gaze as he escorts Nina.

It doesn't take long before the chaos settles, leaving you and Kaz, still engaging in conversation as the last patrons leave the Crow Club.

“We would make a good pair, huh?” You tease, reaching over to brush your hand against his, leather soft under your palm. “You think so?”

Kaz looks at you pointedly, tugging your left hand towards him, fingers pressing on the small diamond adorning your ring finger. “Would I have given you this, if I didn't?”

Smooth with his words without even trying. A trait you find both annoying and endearing after all the years you've been together.

“I mean you have a lot of diamonds lying around—”

“Schatje.”

“Yes?” All train of thought immediately halts on its tracks. The petname has a hold over you that he oh-so-often uses as leverage. You pout. “Stop distracting me.”

He smiles—soft and uncharacteristic, contradictory to the harsh rasp of his voice and the rough scars on his skin. He smiles a smile he reserves only for your eyes, and you're falling for it, a hundred times over.

two. the demjin.

You don't like when Kaz gets like this—all wrung up over a waivable matter. It reminds you a lot of what he had to be before, the things he had to do and what Dirtyhands actually stood for. Not at all akin to the Kaz Brekker you know—the one who immediately comes whenever one of your crew is threatened, the one who stays up with you as you wait for the rest of your little heist crew to return, the one who goes out of his way to collect little trinkets to bring home to you.

You are hurt, shallow cuts all over your body from a little dagger scuffle with a mercenary, but you're a member of the Dregs—this, you can take. A little Heartrender magic and some bandages, you will recover in no time.

“You're back.”

Kaz stops and you look over him to find his knuckles bloodied, hair stuck out of place and clothes disheveled.

“You're alright, schatje?”

His room at the Slat isn't big contrary to popular belief. He sinks into his chair with a huge sigh. You're watching him three steps away from the edge of his bed.

“What did you do?”

He shrugs, tugging his coat off. “Business.”

“You went after them.”

“It was one part of the business.” He pulls at his gloves, shedding them into the trash—too bloodied for him to bother cleaning. “Are you sure you're alright?”

You tuck your hands into your elbows, displeasure visible across your features. “Are you?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“Kaz.”

“They deserved it,” he stubbornly says. “I had to make sure they know not to involve themselves with us. You understand. Besides, I'm alright.”

“I do understand,” you relent. It is business. The Barrell doesn't stop for poets or musicians or lovers, no, it thrives off of the back of violence, taking an eye for an eye. “I just wish that you were here when I woke up.”

His shoulders loosen and he is your Kaz again. Not the one molded by Ketterdam, birthed at its harbour. He's the man so in love that he will dry the seas for you if you say the word. Kaz takes your hands. They are warm on his skin and his heart swells.

“I am sorry, schatje.”

You kneel in front of him, leaning your elbows on his thighs to press a brief kiss on his lips. “Let's stay off business for a while.”

“Kaz?” A sound outside the door, followed by three raps. “Are you in there?”

“He is, Jesper. Give us a moment,” you reply.

You hear hushed whispers—both low voices, so you assume it's Wylan. Your suspicion is confirmed when the second voice sounds from behind the door.

“No, we—no, Jes—don't have anything urgent. We simply wanted to know if he is well. Take your time. We'll be going now.”

“Good night, Wylan,” you reply, immediately hearing fading footsteps soon after.

“Fifty kruge says they're already together,” says Jesper, out of your earshot.

Wylan rolls her eyes. “Fifty on them not dating yet.”

Jesper immediately clasps Wylan's hand with a loud “Deal!”

iii. the marketplace.

“Busybodies,” Kaz complained, walking a step behind you as you're treading through the Ketterdam food market. “They are not even hiding. In broad daylight. How have they never gotten caught before?”

“Kaz, my love.” You are trying not to laugh as you're picking and choosing fruits. “They usually do a better job on actual missions.”

They refer to your five lovely friends who have decided to tail you as you're coming down to the market. Kaz is the first to take notice—blurry figures moving erratically ten steps behind you.

“I should assign them something to do instead of... whatever it is they're currently doing.”

“They're curious.” You shrug, handing over a few slips of Kruge to the seller and leaving with your bag five apples heavier. “We've been acting suspicious lately. They'll find out soon enough.”

“I'll bet Inej finds out first.” Kaz nudges your fingers with his, taking the bag from you as he matches his step with yours. “The Wraith does a better job at spying.”

“My bet is Matthias.” An unlikely one. He's probably the least nosy out of the five.

Suddenly, you're pulled into a small nook, squuezed between buildings and he presses a kiss on your lips. One turns to two and you're smiling like a lovesick fool when he pulls away.

“We're being followed and you pull this?”

“Schatje, our pursuers are horrendously bad at this.” He shrugs, pulling away. You resume your trek through the market. “Look. They've lost us.”

iv. the marriage certificate.

“Fake IDs,” Kaz says, pointing at the towering Fjerdan. “You'll be collecting them from Anika.”

Matthias doesn't mind running errands, although he does think that he'll be better suited for physical fights other than fetching papers, but he doesn't argue. It seems he is doing more than simply fetching papers though.

“That is real?” He asks Anika, pointing at a marriage certificate she has on her desk. Marriage certificates are mundane enough not to warrant this type of reaction, but it is the name that shocks even him to the core. Kaz Brekker and you, married?

“As real as can be around here.” Anika scrambles to hide it away. “Here are your IDs. Don't tell anyone about it.”

In Matthias' defense, he doesn't end up telling just anyone. He tells Nina and Nina is the one telling everyone else. Within a week, every member of the Crows have known about it.

Wylan hands Jesper slips of fifty kruge, grumbling that this is unfair. Nina looks like spring has just arrived. Inej is probably the least reactive—but that is because she's already found out long before the others. She's the Wraith after all. Matthias is anxious. For all everyone knows, he is the one responsible for the news.

You strut into the dining room, seeing everyone gathered and raise an eyebrow.

“Why are you all here?”

“We want to ask—”

Before Nina can finish her sentence, Jesper blurts out. “You're married?”

You chuckle, shrugging. “You found out.”

“How long?”

“Kaz? Really?”

“How did that happen?”

A series of questions that you don't actually answer. You stand there, leaning on the back of one of the wooden chairs situated in the room—remorseless to your very core.

“Ask him about it.”

That ends the discussion. None of them will actually ask him about it and even if any of them actually finds the courage to, the likelihood of Kaz answering anything that's not a sarcastic remark or a threat is close to none.

“How did you find out anyway?”

Everyone points towards Matthias and to the Fjerdan's horror, Nina's pointer finger finds him, too.

You only smile, silently planning to brag to your spouse that you've won your bet.

[ ].

[alllgator-blood]

is this gonna be a an actual ship in ur comics or a one-sided crush from kallamar's side? or just a goofy joke for lamb to torment kallamar

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT COMIC OMG I'M GONNA TRY AND FINISH THAT SOON. I didn't think about the fact that this is technically a ship but yeah I guess it is! I'm still trying to figure out what exactly the witnesses are/what their relationship is to the bishops, I'm doing ref sheets for each one that'll be up sometime this month. I want to believe they operate under similar circumstances as the goat, being purple otherworldly mirror versions of the bishops? But they're not clones or related, so I feel like the relationship each bishop has to their witness varies anywhere from beloved consort (kallamar + astaroth) to stressed mentor (leshy + agares) to unwanted coworker (heket + bathin) to scholarly peer (shamura + allocer)

I'll talk more about this in the ref sheets cause I keep retyping this, need more time to cook BUT I do have some wips of the ref sheet and another panel from that comic where astaroth sees the rule 34 for himself:

I have more art of them but I didn't realize til now I channel all my dick jokes through these two and I need more time to emotionally prepare before dropping art like that, I'm still recovering from the "who the fuck are you, I thought I hired goons" comic.....

[signedaiko]

Hi there! Could I request HCs of Optimus Prime, Prowl, and Ratchet (separately) from Transformers Animated with a Cybertronian![S/O] [Romantic] [Gender Neutral] who is an Autobot specialized in Special Operations?

Cybertronian![S/O] is a commander of their own Special Ops team back on Cybertron doing missions ranging from hostage rescues to combat. They tried to visit Earth with the Elite Guards whenever possible to see their respective partner(s) since they missed them.

They may be misunderstood as tough, scary, and dangerous at first glance, sometimes mistaken for a Decepticon before showing their Autobot insignia. Even mentioning their designation (name) sends shivers down anybot’s struts (backs).

In actuality, they’re kind, sweet, and less serious when off duty and can take a joke.

Optimus | Prowl | Ratchet [Animated]

In which their s/o is the commander of the Autobot's information operations and visits Earth to see them.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Cybertronian | Autobot.

Optimus

Despite all his sucking up to the commander, Ultra Magnus, few knew Optimus looked up to more than just the one

He wasn't under your authority, but you were still a commander, and he was so utterly proud of you for amounting to something

He hadn't seen you since his touchdown on Earth, but you'd been checking on him far more frequently to make sure he was okay

Initially, he doesn't tell you about the cons and tells you it's just human villains because he knows you're busier than he could ever imagine and doesn't want you to worry even more

But you do find out through Ultra Magnus when it's reported, and it only takes a week before you can find an excuse to step away from your position to see him

Your arrival on a small, dark ship catches the attention of Bee and Sari during one of their excursions, and they both go running back to their team, claiming more Decepticons have arrived

When he does go to investigate, he's pleased to see you step from the ship, but your name coming from his mouth only seems to unnerve the others more

"Whoa! Prime, you know them???"

"More than know, actually. Everyone, meet my conjunx."

Jaws are dropping

Very quickly they get to learn your and Prime's history together, how you met in elite guard training, how he saved your life, how different you were than the rumors made you to seem

"Don't be fooled; they're very scary when they need to be."

Prowl

Prowl, like most things in his life, kept any mention of you to himself

After all, the others on his team liked to pry, and you were something precious to him; someone no one understood but him

Not only that, but he was worried if he brought you up, someone might try to contact you, and he knew that above all, your missions were at their peak, one after another

It didn't take anyone else, though; his own silence and lack of disclosure eventually led to you deciding to visit him yourself, which culminated in him literally waking up to the others screaming about a con at the base

He knew the very sound of your spark hum apart from any other noise and immediately told everyone else to calm down

Of course he's happy to see you, but he really wishes you wouldn't see him at such a low point

Stuck with a team of nobodies on a planet one hundredth the size of the one you protected

But you never cared about any of that; you were just happy to see your bot again, and beyond all the war stuff, he was happy to see you, too

He's very protective of you and doesn't let you spend too much time with the others because they're 'too annoying to deserve your attention'

Ratchet

Ever since the mission he carried out with you to save Arcee, he'd felt shame in comparing himself to you

Ratchet used to be on your team before you commanded it, but he eventually strayed into his current position while handling his guilt

Guilt or not, he admittedly hated that you'd taken up such an important position because it meant you had a bigger target on your back

Communicating with you poses a danger to you, so he's reluctant to send much your way and just accepts transmissions from you, which only Prime manages to find out about

Ratchet doesn't care if you're scary or not, if you're strong or not; he just wishes he could keep you from being known, keep you safe

Against all his wishes, you continue to be a more important link in the war effort, and you are the one protecting him in the relationship more than anything

Ratchet manages to keep your first few visits to Earth a secret, but it doesn't take much more for the others to meet you, especially after they had to help chase Lockdown off from trying to take you in

He doesn't have much of an ego, but he does like seeing the younger bots fawn over how cool his s/o is

And hearing them talk about how everyone fears you, well, it makes him feel just a bit more certain that you can protect yourself and that he shouldn't worry as much as he does

Author's Note - I have actually been rewatching all of Animated so, perfect timing! Blitzwing forever tho <3

[dollyichi]

THE FIRST CONFESSION . . . itoshi rin x f ! reader / fluff / not proofread

getting rin to finally admit he liked you was a bit of a rollercoaster. the biggest hurdle from you and him actually dating was the both of you being so dense.

you get teased quite a lot and and he’d scowl immediately (never in front of you though!) while you always laughed it off. but when you do get teased when you’re together you experimentally try to entertain it, while he tries to change the topic, or ignore it completely. but he couldn’t bring himself to say it’s “not true.” it’s more like a, “don’t just be saying that.” but he’s actually getting pretty shy. (understatement)

you almost thought he wasn’t actually interested, feeling uncomfortable that your presence made him feel uncomfortable, though you were already satisfied just being there as a friend.

but to rin it was very untrue because he actually needed to see you to be in a better mood. even just a photo of you from your socials is fine! so seeing you distance yourself from him made him really sad.

he tries really hard to put on this facade of acting cool, or acting unbothered but his hearts always beating so fast when you’re so close to him it’s unbearable! though sometimes you felt brave enough to flirt a little bit, and he always bites back just a bit. the both of you were oblivious that you were flirting—so it was definitely not effective.

your friends think it’s annoying, his teammates especially thinks it’s stupid. the way you’re both so into each other and neither of you are realizing that. a silent game of who denies the best wins.

sometimes, things needed a trigger to actually get it to move, and this was one of those things. it was all secretly planned, isagi invites you out and you immediately say yes since you two were close. and there goes bachira who’s helping isagi to play cupid. bringing him to that cafe (with a lot of pestering that rin loses his patience and gives in).

it was all calculated, you and isagi were seated just outside and he makes sure he puts on a bit of a show. making you laugh, a little bit of skin ship here and there. he knows you’re too in love with rin to actually be swayed or think of his actions differently but there goes a fuming itoshi rin who sees you. it’s as if the cogs in his brain operated too fast that he’s complimenting how you looked today, how pretty your smile was but then goes back to the fact that you were laughing at isagi.

“what’s so fucking funny?” was what bachira heard and in seconds rin’s already gone from his side.

his own body moved just from his anger alone, giving isagi a mean glare before grabbing you by the wrist and pulls you away from him.

the two boys left behind high fives while they watch you getting dragged by him.

“where are you taking me! i didn’t even say goodbye to isa-“ he stops when you’re a bit further from them. letting you go and turning to you with a really big scowl.

“sorry for ruining your little date with that bastard.” you flinch, “that wasn’t a date, we were just hanging out.” you say, confused. why would he care if it was a date or not, why was he even there?

rin was at a lost for words, he didn’t know how to express it properly—jealousy did get the best of him. “it should’ve been with me.” he says softly. but you couldn’t understand, moving closer to him.

in a fit of jealousy he pulled you away, coming to his senses, you were the one backing him up against the wall making you repeat something he voiced out loud.

in terms of confidence though, you always had the upper hand. “speak louder.” and he felt compelled, because your voice was so stern that it hit him in his core.

“i said it should’ve been with me!” he sighs heavily, placing his palm on his head. “why’d you have to choose that dumbass? what does he have, huh?” and it’s almost breaking his ego that the girl he loved the most ‘gave her heart away’ to the one he considers his rival. it’s just too unfair.

you were too shocked when you heard him, loud and clear even. it took you a bit to respond but all that got out of you were a fit of giggles.

and you think to yourself, “we’re both fucking stupid huh?”

“rin,” you say, grabbing his hand away from his face so he’s looking at you. “what do you feel about me?”

his mouth quivers, but he couldn’t look away from you. you felt his hand shake on yours. a few stutters here and there trying to finally say it until, “i love you.” and he jumps realizing what he just said. he wanted to say ‘like’ not to overwhelm you but instead, he ended becoming way too honest.

and you’re giggling again, already on your tiptoes to leave a kiss on his lips.

and then he finally realized how stupid he was. well, now he’s even more embarrassed.

do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works

note : i think it’s so cute that you crush on each other like teenagers (more-so him) ended up rambling so hard here??? i really am in love with him or something… idk… got inspired by an ask i got and @prettyboykatsuki talking about how bllk boys handle their crushes u woke smth inside me ari u are so good