#sometimes more than necessary lol

[pencilofawesomeness]

Damn time to reread the entirety of How to Raise Your Dragon Slayers again

Uhhhhhhh I'm sorry, good luck, and have fun :D

[kokodrawings]

You know, the technique of Minato the Hiraishin. There are several variations of this technique, but the one that strikes me the most is when during the fourth war, Genma, Raido and Iwashi teleport Mei Terumi and tell she ‘We can use the Fourth's technique, we just need to do it in a group’ Do you think Minato himself taught them this technique in person?I've always liked to think that they received the title of ‘hokage guards’ because Minato trained them for some time. I'd love to know what you think - your illustrations are great!

Hi!! Thank you, glad you hear you like my drawings!! 💖

Well, the last time I read the war arc was ten years ago with the weekly releases, so my memory is a bit fuzzy (not a fan of the arc so I prefer to delete it from my mental headcanons lol), but I think I remember what you’re talking about! Haha, this is a fun ask, let me ramble about that.

Okay, so… we have three guys around Kakashi’s age (in fact, if I remember correctly Genma is Gai’s teammate), but nowhere near Kakashi’s level. Three guys who were around 13-14 years old when Minato rose to power, and who were, at best, newly jounin or even chunin (again, Kakashi was promoted to jounin at 12 and that was an extraordinary ocurrence. And we can agree that these three don’t have Kakashi’s talent).

And you’re telling me that these three kids were the "Hokage Guard Platoon", in charge of protecting the legendary Yellow Flash himself? Yeah Kishi, no way xD

Since you asked for my thoughts, here’s my headcanon: I think that it was peacetime (so things were more or less chill), these kids probably admired the Yellow Flash and now the Fourth Hokage (maybe they were even his fanboys) and Minato thought it would be funny to keep then around as the “Hokage guards.”

And if Minato is going to keep them around, they need a way to get away fast. Because Minato is not a team player, he is a one-man team: he is very fast, strikes even faster and has the Hiraishin to get away quickly if shit hits the fan. He doesn’t need three kids around in the case someone decides to attempt an attack on his person because they will be more of a hindrance than a help (plus, he already lost two kids when he wasn’t around to watch their backs, he doesn’t need another three dead ones).

So, what can he do to solve this? Easy, teach them the Hiraishin! But the Hiraishin is not that easy to learn, you need the power and the skill, and although these three looked like they had the skill (performing a jutsu with other people as a team has to be much more difficult than doing it yourself alone) they lacked the raw chakra needed to power up the technique, so he modified it for them to use as a team.

TL;DR: Minato thought it was hilarious to have three kids trailing behind him like ducklings and taught them the Hiraishin not to protect him, but to protect themselves and get away while he kicked some ass. They're more like Minato's second genin team than a guard, imo.

[byfulcrums]

the political message in tf kills me because it is so complex and it reflects real life so well that it's painful

it's hard to choose a side because both are bad. it's hard to choose a side because war is cruel and so is everyone involved in it. there is no way to escape the violence once you enter this cycle

there are multiple ways of viewing it. the war starts with a revolution that has long since turned into a desire for control. megatron wanted to be free, at first, and yet in the end, he was only another colonizer

the war starts because no one did anything about the treatment of the miners. it starts because people turned a blind eye to the cruelty that was happening right before them

it starts when two people fighting for freedom take their ideals to the extreme. it starts when one refuses to kill and when one bathes in blood

it's just such a complicated conflict

[carpisuns]

sometimes I kinda wish tumblr had something akin to a twitter circle or Instagram close friends list. bc sometimes I kinda wanna say something but not necessarily to Everyone. i feel like tags are almost equivalent bc they’re like the Secret Whisper-Rant Place except anyone can see them. Which adds some fun flavor I suppose. Tumblr close friends circle except it’s whichever of ur followers cares to read your tinytext ramblings

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[maingh0st]

A question did you plot your Taryn X ghost fic aka outline it or just wrote it and let the story come to you?

I'm a methodological pantser (thanks ellen brock for helping me realize my writing process is not crazy ✨) so I started with a very loose idea of: (1) where I wanted the characters to start, (2) where I wanted them to end, and (3) big developments that needed to happen along the way. all the little details came together in the process of writing, revising, re-outlining, restructuring, then rewriting. that might sound wild haha but it's just how my brain works—so yes I had a plan, but my outline was very bare bones to begin with & became more fleshed out as I wrote!

[sysig]

Uh oh he’s also cute (Patreon)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tennessoui]

I know this might be a weird question, and I have no idea if anyone else pictures written dialogue in their head like I do, but do anakin, obi-wan, cody, etc have the same accents in ur AU fics as they do in Star Wars canon??

Like all this time I’ve been imagining Obi-wan being British, anakin being American (hayden is Canadian but I have no clue how US accents work lol) and the Fett brothers being Kiwi, but then I get confused bcs HOW did they get those accents (IS CORUSCANT THE STAR WARS EQUIVALENT TO LONDON!?!?!? BCS ALOT OF JEDI HAVE ENGLISH ACCENTS BUT NOT ALL OF THEM AND UGH MY BRAIN HURTS AND 😩🫣😵🤕😭)

anyway I’ve forgotten my original point and I think I need to lie down 😟

lol this is a fair question actually

so whenever I’m doing a fic that’s not gffa but modern but I’m trying not to make it American heavy or ANTK (America need to know), I like using the planets from Star Wars as cities and/or countries because everyone who is reading a prequels Star Wars fic probably knows what Coruscant or Naboo is supposed to look like vaguely and I don’t have to describe what it’s supposed to look like (descriptions of places, my loathed nemesis)

AND when I do that, I always describe obi-wan’s accent as coruscanti, but in my head it’s definitely just the way he sounds in the movies which is British

and like in that one story where Obi-Wan is king of Stewjon (space Scotland), he’s supposed to maybe have a stewjoni accent which would be space Scottish accent but then I really just only read it in my mind as his normal British accent, even if they were fuckin. Wearing space kilts. It was too ingrained in me.

BUT THIS IS ALL TO SAY: their accents are what they are in the shows/movies, regardless of where they’re supposed to be from…..and if it makes sense (aka Cody and Rex and obi-wan are basically raised together in PBATMB but you bet your ass they sound different in my head)

[mainfaggot]

existence is so inherently selfish isn't it...?

[dutybcrne]

Thinking over parent hcs and honestly, Itto is just like.

Goofy

Itto would just outright be Goofy like of the Goofy movie continuities

[skrunksthatwunk]

hey real quick bc i haven't seen anyone really talk about it; fuck Hoarders. what a disgusting fucking show. like i know a lotta content boils down to "let's gawk at mentally ill or poor or whatever ppl" but this one specifically really peels my paint. it's sickening. let's spend an hour walking around someone's house and going "wow!! look how fucked this is!!! i can't believe you live like this (despite having done like 13 seasons of this)!!!! you really need to get your act together, buster!" and then interviewing the family to get sound bites demonstrating how much of an Unreasonable Burden the subject is and (without actually helping any of the mental health issues that may lead someone to hoard) roll their eyes at them when they are upset at someone taking and trashing/destroying their precious belongings (or are made to do it themselves). and then half the time in the where are they now segment it's like "yeah they relapsed lol idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" like??? no shit dumbass.

i don't care how strange their homes or habits are. these people are deserving of compassion and real, honest help. they don't need people to marvel at how Kooky Wacky Bonkers™ they are, and they don't need people to hurt them just because they don't understand what they see in their possessions or are embarrassed by knowing them or whatever.

we don't need another voyeuristic savior-complex charade where the condition for The Most Half-Assed Help You've Ever Seen is being publicly humiliated and having to destroy things that mean a lot to you. what the fuck.

[redphienix]

@necronyancy you're so right

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 5

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Not much, I had to run errands most of the day and also felt incredibly tired, probably because the cats woke me up like 4 times last night begging for food and things. Overly warm and headachey a lot.

I planted a few new flowers, and pressed more flowers and clovers in my Large Sturdy Flower Pressing Book as well.

Actually worked on translating the text for the previously mentioned tapestry/painting thing. I think I've decided that it doesn't really matter very much, because nobody else even knows anything about this conlang except for me, so they won't know if it's wrong lol.. It is not entirely completed after all (complete enough to translate most simple sentences into consistently, but also there are a few spots here and there where I haven't fully worked out the way some part of speech actually functions or etc., or I wrote down one thing that later contradicts something else, so occasionally I reach a sentence that I'm not sure exactly which rule to follow to translate, and I need to do a larger comprehensive organization of the document to work out all the kinks and declare officially like 'THIS is the ONE way this is done' etc. etc.) - so because of that, I think I'll just kind of 'do my best' and if the rules now end up changing in the future as I further work on the language, then, that's fine, because nobody can read it anyway lol. Kind of like that song on my side music youtube that's sung in genuine Avirrekava lyrics but also I wrote them years ago and some of the sentences have now become outdated/invalid.

Washed and cleaned some kale so it will be dry for me to maybe make silly kale chips tomorrow.

Final proofreading + posting of the poll adventure thing.

eughh,, literally nothing else.. I hate running errands because it always makes me feel drained and sick after, plus I get nothing else done all day except for just going places. I know checking my p.o. box and picking up cat food and stuff is technically still a productive action, but it just feels like.. i should be getting all of my long term projects done instead lol.. what about the videos?? or worldbuilding?? what does grocery shopping have to do with elves??!?! >:V (aside from pretending to be a group of fantasy creatures evaluating produce having an imaginary conversation with yourself at the store ghghj,, but that is not productive either lol)

Notable sights: Found 13 four leaf clovers, and 2 five leaf clovers, though one of them is almost a 6 leaf (like one of the leaves is nearly split all the way into a sort of heart shape, just not entirely). Also two of the clovers are HUGE, probably the biggest 4 leaf clovers I've ever collected, like 2 inches across maybe. The sky was very pretty a lot with big fluffy white clouds. Not a 'sight' really, but I got to sit in air conditioning for a little while today and it was very nice. I love the cold crisp kind of stale air smell, like walking into a freezer or something (which I used to do when I was a kid, I would sneak into a walk-in freezer at a school cafeteria and just sit there for a while lol), it's comforting to me.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Had a bit of smoked gouda and green onions in my Mandated Completely Plain Flavorless Grits For Breakfast this morning, as a littol treat lol.. Tried a 'biscoff' ice cream bar, which is generally a flavor profile I like, but I think I would usually rather be eating a cookie than having ice cream. Also an Ensure nutritional drink, which I know most people consider gross but I genuinely like them.. maybe it's like a source of comfort when my stomach is too sick to eat, like 'oh well at least I can have this cold smooth textured chalky chocolate thing' lol.

Sort of like how I have positive conditioning to feel safe/comfortable in bathrooms (due to it usually being one of the only places you can safely retreat from a social situation or get out of crowds in public areas, etc.), even though rationally I have no particular reason to like bathrooms much, and most people dislike public bathrooms especially. Fellow public bathroom and ensure nutritional shake lovers unite! (3 of us in the entire world)

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

astro thoughts - short n sweet: all about mars

Mars in 1st house - These individuals have a strong presence to their aura. These people could be workaholics as far as being in the gym goes. They could have a lot of energy to get things done so they can seem pretty intimating around people who don't have strong martian energy. They can be scapegoated because their boldness tends to rub people off the wrong way.

Mars in the 2nd house - A passion for getting the things they want with little to no effort. Hard work pays off. They dont have time to waste on mundane things, they simply want to relax but it seems too much for them sometimes. I say for this group, give yourself that time to chillax for a bit... the world aint what it seems sometimes.

Mars in the 3rd house - Could have a lot of outbursts from time to time, they feel things just a little differently than others and could be pretty opinionated. They have a lot of use for people who can debates with them on topics. They need someone who can go toe to toe with them at times, or else they'll get bored. They are very fast learners. Could also have a thousand hobbies because none of them could keep them occupied enough, and thats okay.

Mars in the 4th house - Could be overstimulated with family issues as this placement can make them the scape goat/black sheep. They are not afraid to say whats on their mind. There could also have been volatile experiences growing up in the house, so their a little open to having gentle partners/friendships because the toxic environment could have left them strifled.

Mars in the 5th house - These people like to live life on the edge, they need something to get them out of their racing mind. There quick learners just like the 3rd house babes, and they need someone who can match their fly. Could be a sex maniac with this placement. Needs someone who they can be passionate with.

Mars in the 6th house - WORKAHOLICS... please. just get some rest. What I love about this placement is that they NEVER STOP UNTIL THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT. They are powerhouses for sure. Because they wont eat, sleep,relax until they get the results. Literally blood sweet and tears is their motto.. They gotta get it done one way or another.

Mars in the 7th house - Incredible sex drive. Just like their friends in the 5th house, they need someone who can bring them passionate energy. They can bring the house down with their fiery energy alone, but they need someone to match their flow or else they will run that individual to the ground. It be like that sometimes.The more mars energy the more this can be a problem.

Mars in the 8th house - Damn. Damn. Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is probably one of the best placements to have with mars because 1. its in its rightful house (it is a ruler of scorpio). They're sex appeal is powerful. It will have anyone dropping to their knees. They are psychologically aware of people and their intentions and they can use this to their advantage. Dark feminine energy is a strong aspect for this placement. I could go on, but decided to keep it cute for now lol.

Mars in the 9th house - May have a tendency to travel outside of their homeland at some point in their life. This is necessary for their growth as an individual. They need to be alone more than usually so they can see the world from a different point of view. They are very intelligent creatures and give their all to know more than what they've been given in their short time span on this earth. They have a gift at teaching people how to navigate life through their own lense. Its a difficult path to say the least, because they always have to be confident in the face of trouble. But they always come abck out with ease.

Mars in the 10th house - Strong presence. Very practical nature. Has issues with the public eye from time to time. Could master the art of thought and can handle any situation most would crumble in. The life they lead isn't for the weak. It seems like they have an arrow on their back from time to time, but to no avail they use the energy to their advantage at some point. Great leaders, could have jealous friends/associates around them so they must be cautious.

Mars in the 11th house - LIke their friends in the tenth house, they are also really good at leadership. In their friend groups they can be considered the 'alpha' or the person who tends to plan out things or just knows what to do in general. It reminds me of blossom in the power puff girls to say the least. Their capable of taking on goals and commitments most people probably couldn't take. Just be careful you don't wanna make them mad. They can have a lot of disputes with friends and associates for the wrong reasons.

Mars in the 12th house - Mind over matter. Thats their theme. They could have a lot of issues with people and this could seem out of no where. A lot of hidden enemies with this placement :( It seems like no one likes them but they have a raw special energy to them thats hard to ignore. A lot of people do want to be around them but for some reason they can sort of despise them and it could be something subconscious and this is where a lot of the hidden hate comes from. This group has to be more open to the heart than most because its easier to shut back down after always being around people who use them for their personal gain.

let me know what you think :)

[ilyrafe]

𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 ✧ 𝒓. 𝒄.

pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader

warnings: brief sexual innuendo, rafe being a softie!!!!

word count: 2.6k (i *might* have gotten carried away i'm so sorry lol)

a/n: this is a sequel to late night and also based on this, so thanks @keziahcore ! your mind is literally everything!

it’s almost like a sixth sense.

rafe feels your absence from the bed, and immediately becomes agitated. he turns on the lamp next to his bed and looks for any sign that you’re still there, and finds your small handbag on the armchair, which makes him just slightly relieved. 

when he looks at the clock, he sees that it is almost two in the morning. the bathroom door is ajar and the lights are off, which means you’re not there. before he can leave his room looking for you, you return, holding a glass of water, wearing only his shirt to cover yourself up.

“where were you? why did you leave me here?”

he can’t control this agony, this anguish that always catches him off guard when he finds himself alone. he can’t help feeling like a time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. the smallest things you do seem to trigger him massively, and he hates that. he hates that he ends up being rude and harsh to you, because you’re always so understanding and sweet.

even he knows he doesn’t deserve you.

“i was thirsty and went downstairs to drink some water.” your tone is sweet and calm, which makes him feel like shit.

his face changes, as he seems to calm down. you didn’t leave him, you just went to get some water. you’re there, your stuff is there, you’re not going anywhere.

“next time, leave a glass here. i don’t like it when you do that.” he says in a much softer tone, but he’s still upset that his sleep got interrupted.

“do what? get hydrated?” you joke, trying to lighten up his mood.

he rolls his eyes and huffs. don’t make him tell the truth.

“go back to bed. i’m tired, alright? i had a long day.”

“actually, i was going to read a book. i’m not sleepy and i don’t want to lie down right now.”

is it so hard to understand that he wants you to be close to him so that he feels safe enough to get a decent night’s sleep?

“you can read on the bed.”

“you won’t mind the lamp on?”

“no, just get the damn book and come back to bed.”

you laugh and nod, picking up the book from his desk and following him to his bed. rafe gets to his spot and as you sit down, he places one hand on your bare thigh and falls back to sleep almost immediately.

while he dives deep into his necessary rest, you start reading. it’s that book, in cold blood by truman capote. you don’t know if rafe is a reader, he never really talks about books with you.

every once in a while, you look down at your thighs to see his hand, firmly holding you, to make sure you won’t leave. this small gesture makes you feel stupid. stupid to believe he might feel something other than lust for you. rafe makes you question your beliefs and that itself makes you feel overwhelmed.

sometimes you want to leave, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. and you have tried countless times. he’s good for you in the same intensity he’s bad. to say you’re scared to ask him what you are would be an understatement, but you just would like some clarification, because you don’t beg the people you’re casually fucking to stay the night almost every night and throw a tantrum when they leave to get some water.

deep down, you know you’re more scared to hear you’re just an easy fuck. at this point, this would tear you apart.

being with rafe is a challenge. it’s like running a marathon you know you will not get to the finish line, and yet, you keep running.

when it’s almost four in the morning, you close the book and turn the lamp off. finally, sleep comes to you, and you settle into his bed, still holding rafe’s hand, which never left your thigh. with the touch, rafe wakes up, and this time he is no longer agitated.

“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” you say, as you snuggle into the mattress.

“you- what time is it?” he asks, adorably confused and sleepy.

“it’s almost four.”

“and you’re going to sleep now?”

“yeah. go back to sleep, it’s early.” you say softly, placing a hand on his cheek, and he complies, pulling you close.

(...)

rafe’s alarm clock rings promptly at seven in the morning. he turns it off and goes back to his previous position: hugging you.

your hair smells like coconut and your skin is always soft. he never wants to not be touching you. it’s like your body was made to be next to his. for some reason, just your presence is enough to make him feel calm and at peace.

he places the softest kiss on your shoulder, enjoying the quietness that only early mornings can give him. the sweet sound of birds chirping outside makes him forget about everything else. rafe only has you in his mind (and in his arms).

you wake up and soon turn to face him. rafe has the most adorable sleepy face, and you might never stop melting over him. seeing him up close will never not be amazing. he’s the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. he probably has the most beautiful shade of blue in his eyes.

“go back to sleep.” he whispers.

“‘m not sleepy anymore.” you mumble as you rub your eyes, which rafe finds captivating. “hi.”

“hi,” he smiles. “you only slept for three hours, sleep some more.” he insists, and you feel a tone of concern in his voice, but maybe it’s just your sleep giving you that impression.

“i’m okay, rafey.”

rafey. he hates that stupid nickname, but when it comes out of your mouth, he wants to legally change his name to it.

“you’re gonna be tired.”

“no, i’m not. i don’t normally sleep a lot.”

rafe frowns not because he’s confused - he obviously isn’t. he’s just not liking what you’re saying. he doesn’t like the idea of you struggling with whatever that may be. rafe knows damn well how bad it is to be sleep deprived, he doesn’t want you going through that.

“you have insomnia?”

“i guess i do,” you shrug. “i don’t really know. i just don’t sleep a lot. i wish i did, though. i get so jealous when i see you sleeping for hours on end.” you smile sweetly at him. “you’re so relaxed. must be nice…”

you let go of rafe after leaving a timid kiss on his lips, and stretch before getting up and going to his bathroom to start your morning routine.

after a quiet breakfast, rafe gives you a ride home, and he can’t hide his concern about what you said.

“i’ll see you around, yeah?” you tell him, with the sweetest smile you always have.

“of course. uh, about that sleep thing… if you need help with that… i’m here.”

“rafe, i think you might be a sex addict.” you joke, really not understanding what he meant. he isn’t talking about sex. the one time he isn’t talking about sex, you don’t get it.

“well, i’m just one call away.”

you chuckle and intend to kiss his cheek, but rafe is quick enough to turn his face and make you kiss his lips. you laugh at his antics.

silly rafe is your favorite. if only other people got to see this side of him.

he watches you leave his car and get inside your home. the strange feeling of loneliness comes back almost immediately, but it gets him thinking. it has to be some sort of irony that the person that quite literally helps him sleep isn’t sleeping.

(...)

only two days have passed and rafe already needs you to spend the night at his house again. he is so tired and exhausted. he takes out his phone and quickly types a message.

rafe: are u busy right now? can i pick u up?

you don’t tend to take long to respond to his texts, but this time, an hour goes by and nothing, so rafe starts to feel that unbearable anguish again, and starts to think that you left him and that you found someone better to spend you time with.

impulsively, rafe facetimes you, and you answer. from your face alone, he can see the tiredness in your eyes. or rather, in your dark circles. you’re in your bedroom, which makes him feel calmer.

“hi, rafey. sorry, i just got my phone.”

“what are you doing?”

“i’m studying for my exams.”

“i just wanted to know if i could pick you up.”

“i’d love to,” you smile. “but it’s not a good idea, i need to study and i have a mountain of books to read until tomorrow if i want a good grade, which i do.”

“you’re tired, you should rest.” he advises, visibly worried.

“nothing a can of red bull can’t fix.” you say showing him the can.

“y/n, please go to sleep.”

something about his request makes you angry. maybe it’s the stress, or the fact that this time rafe is right.

“rafe, you’re not my boss. i need to hang up, i got shit to do.”

before he can protest, you hang up the call, and surprisingly, rafe doesn’t get angry. this is what it’s like when he’s sleep deprived.

as always, rafe wants to take control of the situation, so he puts on a hoodie, grabs his car keys and leaves his house to go to yours. it’s late at night, and rafe knows your parents are probably asleep.

the path is short, and soon he arrives in front of your house and the light is on in your bedroom, which tells him that you are still up. carefully, rafe gets out of his car and walks to the back of your residence, and climbs the wall, always making sure he doesn’t get caught by anyone. finally, rafe gets on the small balcony of your room and sees you surrounded by papers, books and notebooks. it’s a mess.

he knocks on the glass door, which startles you, but you soon calm down when you see it’s him. you almost run to open the door, but your face isn’t the happiest.

“what are you doing here, rafe?”

“nice to see you, too.” he ironizes as he steps inside your bedroom. “i have a proposition for you.”

“i’m so not in the mood, rafe…”

“listen to me.” he says. “i’ll… i’ll help you out with this stuff, as long as you let me help you sleep.”

“i don’t wanna have sex.”

“i’m not talking about sex.”

oh.

“you mean… sleep? like, really sleep?”

“yeah. i don’t like that you sleep so little. you’re becoming cranky.”

you chuckle at the last bit. you can’t stay mad at him, can you?

“that’s a nice offer, rafe, but what do you know about biology?”

“i’ll have you know i was a good student.” he pouts and you laugh. “even if i don’t know what you’re studying, i’ll help you out.”

it takes you a few seconds, but it’s decided. your body is about to give out, you really need to rest. you can’t absorb any more information. a good sleep might even help you learn whatever you need.

“okay.”

rafe smiles and it might be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

you begin to organize all your notes and books on your desk and rafe begins to undress down to his underwear, and gets comfortable on your bed. he realizes this is his first time sleeping on your bed, and he already likes the faint smell of rosemary that your bedroom exudes.

you have such a pretty bedroom. the walls are painted in the softest shade of blue, and you have books everywhere. no wonder you’re so smart, you read a lot.

the wooden furniture gives an earthy feel to your room, contrasting with the delicacy of the light blue walls. in the photos of the small mural on the wall, rafe realizes that he wanted to be there, present in the photos, and maybe, in a photo with you. you are always smiling and being hugged by someone, or hugging them. you are like that, you are magnetic.

you finish organizing your things and quickly change into a shirt of rafe’s that you hope he doesn’t recognize. it’s big and comfortable, and it makes you feel close to him when he’s far away.

the lamp next to your bed is on, so you turn off the main light in your room and go to your bed, meeting rafe, and he has the smallest smile on his lips. it’s ironic how having sex and being naked doesn’t feel as intimate as simply sleeping together does.

“are your parents home?” he asks.

“no, why?”

“so i could have come through the door, huh.”

“yeah.” you laugh.

a brief moment of silence sits between you two, as you’re staring at each other’s eyes. rafe is mesmerized and terrified at the same time. this - whatever this is - feels so nice and so foreign. he knows damn well he isn’t one to want to just sleep with someone, let alone climb up a wall to just sleep with someone.

rafe cameron is in love, and he is utterly terrified.

“what are you thinking?” you ask in a whisper.

your blinks are getting slower and slower. rafe begins to run his hand through your hair, combing them back, and touching the skin of your neck and shoulders ever so softly.

thinking about how much i want to be with you and how fucking scared i am.

“nothin’. close your eyes.”

you do, not because he told you to, but because you couldn’t keep them open any longer. 

why do you feel the safest with someone as dangerous as rafe cameron? someone who deals with the shadiest people around, that has anger issues and violent behavior.

that tried to drown his own sister.

why none of that matters when you’re in his arms? are you actually insane?

probably.

(...)

as soon as you wake up, you see your bed empty, and rafe’s clothes are no longer on the floor, where he had left them last night. it was to be expected, but you still feel disappointed. he was so sweet last night.

when you look at the clock, it’s already past nine in the morning, which means you’ve slept, surprisingly, eight hours straight. damn, you really were sleep deprived.

the sound of your stomach begging for food makes you get out of bed.

when you leave your bedroom, you hear the sound of the tv on and get scared. slowly, without making any noise, you go down the stairs, trying to find out if your house has been invaded, but it would be strange, as it is daytime. soon you see rafe walking around your house.

he didn’t leave?

it’s like you’re not even there. you get to watch rafe make himself comfortable in your kitchen, looking for stuff to put on the table. there are two delivery bags on the counter, which means he bought food, but the gesture warms your heart, which was merely shattered.

“the cutlery is in the second drawer next to the sink.” you say, startling him a bit.

“jesus. can you, i don’t know, announce you’re in the room? i almost dropped your coffee.”

you laugh.

“sorry, rafey. what are you doing, i thought you had left.”

“uh, i bought breakfast for y- us.” he says. you look inside the bags and you can tell he ordered possibly everything you have eaten from that place. “c’mon, i ordered that vegan shit you like, your coffee and even a pretzel.”

you follow him to the table and you both begin helping yourselves. this isn’t your first time having breakfast with him, but it does feel like it’s a first.

for the first time, you don’t want to leave him.

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