#sometimes maybe i still listen to the songs
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anglefish3008 · 2 days ago
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THANK YOU FOR THE TAG REAP!!! Keep the tags coming, I love them!!!
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Salut! Im coco:)
what I do in my free time: sleeping, daydreaming, listening to music, I like to run and take walks, strength training and stretching for ballet, and doodling in my sketchbook.
What are your hobbies and how did you get in to them: art, (painting, scrapbooking, digital, and so much more) I loved making my own stories with my art as a kid. Some characters I had back then I still have now:) teaching myself classical ballet variations, but then crying because I probably won’t be able to preform them 💔 ballet in general. A family member did it and i idolized so much my parents enrolled me in a dance academy:) scrolling through tumblr, reading, trying new sweets, drinking some good tea and on occasion coffee.
A book or movie that left an impression on you: Pax by Sara Pennypacker was a good one I read recently, made me a bit teary eyed in the end.. I’m really emotional though, I cry all the time haha! I’ve been getting into some classics - like Anne of Green Gables, and Heidi, and I adore those as well. Such a sweet story, especially Heidi.
What kind of music do you enjoy?: such a random assortment. splatoon, jack stauber, mitski and mars argo (on sad girl days) a lot music from anime. Including: all blue locks music, Veil from fire force, and Hitoshiba from classroom of the elite. I like songs that I can relate and admire the lyric writing, while also having a good tempo and something I can nod my head to. I notice I switch between songs I like because sometimes I’m not in the mood for ones I was yesterday. So a HUGE random assortment. Like a charcuterie board! I like ones that take me to a whole other place, being something nostalgic or something magical. (a bit cringey, I know 💀)
Who’s your favorite character (atm or of all time) agahhahahahahah…. Bachira Meguru… maybe… idk… he’s just charmed me to a tea. I relate to him alot (how he grew up, his personality, so so) and he has a CHOKEHOLD ON MY LIFE. Yeah. Bachira Meguru. Of all time.
tagging: @tigreblvnc @cheappickle @jifloulette @underlash @huneyrain <- do you want me to tag this blog for tag games? Let me know! @marcysdreamydays11 @luna-3-clips @animentality @the-lazyyy-artist
@biggestcharleskinnie @s4mmy @saeisms
No pressure and open tags!
tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ
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hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:
alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!
• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?
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i will start first!
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my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!
some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!
a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.
i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!
my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.
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tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ
@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades
@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii
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lonelylittledot · 2 days ago
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Wicked
~ a Wicked scholar's thoughts on the movie
Okay. I had detached myself from any feelings about the movie truly years ago, and so I walked into the movie theatre with really low expectations.
My overall opinion: it was not a bad adaptation. I'd expected to give it 3/10, it turned out as a solid 6.5/10.
Here are just a few things that stuck out to me:
The landscapes - didn't hate them but didn't like them.
The costumes - amazing. Pretty much every outfit slayed. I feel like they could have been even a bit more extravagant, but they were great as they were. - As for Elphaba, I think my favorite outfit was the first Shiz dress and the post-Popular outfit. - Glinda's bubble dress was exquisite, and I really liked her Emerald City ensemble, although I do miss the yellow dress, I feel like it doesn't get enough love
I liked Ariana's G(a)linda surprisingly a lot. Maybe it's because I know she's a huge Wicked fan, but I felt like her love for the source material really showed.
I wasn't really sold on Cynthia. Don't get me wrong, she has a truly fabulous voice, and she absolutely did shine in the big, loud parts - but overall, I wasn't a fan of her versions of the songs. She looked and acted great, though.
Michelle Yeoh, the woman you are. Fantastic casting, no notes.
Jonathan. Oh, dear, Johnathan Bailey. Looks? Hot. Vocals? Gorgeous. Vibes? Flawless. I wish he'd played the role a decade ago, because he does look forty and not college-age, but I think everything else about him truly makes up for it.
Speaking of - I liked that Fiyero got just a few tiny little additional scenes/lines, really helped to flesh out his character more.
Grammar-nazi Elphaba, my beloved.
Listen, I have shipped Fiyero and Elphaba since I was 14. And I'm not going to stop now. I stan them, I loved their chemistry in the movie, I will ship them until the day I die.
The direction on G(a)linda/Elphaba - hella gay. But I didn't quite feel their chemistry, neither friendly nor romantic. It was okay, but didn't blow me away.
IDINA AND KRISTEN???? love love love love my og queens
The movie dragged on. A lot. This is my only really big criticism, unfortunately it's a really important one. I think they could easily have made the whole musical into one 3h long movie, and it would have been much better for the pacing. - there weren't even that many added scenes; and a lot of the additions were pretty good, actually - some were totally unnecessary though. like the guards chasing Elphaba and Glinda and the whole balloon shenanigans? - similarly, many scenes were just unnecessarily stretched out; with the camera staying too long in one place or one moment being dragged out way too long - some of the songs just had slightly longer (like 2 bars?) breakes between the choruses added for no reason
Defying Gravity. This is the same thing as one of the previous comments, but I feel like it deserves its separate mention. The pacing in that scene (or, here, more like a collection of scenes) was extremely off, the song losing all of its momentum by being chopped up into pieces. And the way they made us wait for the iconic vocalization at the end; I honestly thought I'd die of boredom.
Sometimes I felt like the movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be more stage-y and theatrical, and lean into the whole campy vibe, or more cinematic and "naturally" acted; and sometimes it switched weirdly between the two.
There was one single thing that looked way better onscreen than onstage. The Lion cub. In the movie, he looked extremely cute, tiny little adorable darling baby kitten. Way better than the creepy-ass puppet they use in the show.
There were many more tasty little details that I simply couldn't remember/write down, or else I wouldn't have been able to pay any attention to the movie. Once it's available, maybe I'll rewatch and dissect it in more detail (I should also finally watch the 1939 Wizard of Oz, it's a CRIME that I still haven't! I'm sure people who know it well could also see many references in the new Wicked - even I noticed the ruby slippers in Popular, for example!).
Summing up this unnecessarily long rant:
It was not a bad adaptation; although I doubt it will make many people into Wicked fans. At the end of the day, it's clearly a story made for the stage, and even though it was transferred to the big screen fairly well, I think it still belongs in the regular theatre, not the movie one.
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rocknrolldecadence · 2 days ago
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Yesterday i was listening to tv by billie and it gave me a random idea about a fic, like izzy going on tour and you kinda wait for him to contact (call/send letters) and you keep sending him letters since it's a long tour, you just dont get anything, and he comes back to find out none of his letters got delivered to you 😮‍💨 i love angst omg
That's really random to associate with tv but the original idea is that you send him almost at the end of the tour a video tape or idk what singing this song (but like ignoring the internet and etc since is the 80's lmao) if that helps as an inspiration, you're free to use this idea too idk sorry thank you bye 😭😭😭😭
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sinking in the sofa
izzy’s gone on tour and you try to reach out to him.
warnings: angsty
a/n: i didn’t follow the second bit of your request exactly so i hope it’s still ok 😣 (also if u ever want to req for billie please do!! i write for her as well!!)
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7 days. a whole week since izzy had left for the use your illusion tour. you missed him like crazy. he told you he’d write you, but you hadn’t got any letters yet. you brushed it off as him just being busy. not to worry. you’d get a letter soon.
7 days soon became 10. 10 days and izzy hasn’t even called you. he was starting to worry you - had something happened? you picked up and dialled the number of the hotel he told you he’d be staying at that night. izzy has been kind enough to lay that all out for you: which hotel he’d be at, which venue he’d be playing, etc.
“hello,” you spoke into the receiver, “can you out me through izzy stradlin’s room please?”
whoever was on the other end of the line coughed a little. “i’m afraid i can’t do that. sorry.”
“well… what about jeff isabell?” you questioned. maybe he had checked in under his real name?
“i can’t do that. it’s policy. sorry for any inconvenience caused.” the receptionist droned.
“but-” you started, before being hung up on.
that conversation quickly became a regular routine as every night you called each hotel and were met with more or less the same answer. sometimes they’d say “let me check with my manager!”, and you’d get hopeful, but it never worked out.
you’d been writing izzy letters, but now you started to doubt if he was even seeing them. or getting them. you wrote him at least 3 times a week normally, but as the weeks went on with no word from him, that number diminished until it was one maybe every 2 weeks.
of course, you still wanted to write him. he was your boyfriend - why wouldn’t you? but he wasn’t writing to you at all. not making any contact. you watched mtv religiously, looking out for clips of concerts. you did the same with magazines too, scouring the racks in every store for a feature on guns n roses.
weeks became months and you got fed up. every day you waited for at least one letter or call, and every day you got none. you waited every day, until you turned on the tv and saw what had happened in st louis the night before. a riot. at one of guns n roses’ shows. you were furious. not at the fact that that had happened, but that izzy hadn’t given you a call. he couldn’t even call you when a RIOT happened!
that was the last straw for you. you just started sobbing as the tv kept playing, detailing everything that had happened that night. why couldn’t izzy call you? write you? get in contact at all? had you done something? had he done something?
that was how you spent your evening - crying on the sofa with the news on. you cried til you couldn’t anymore. but as your tears dried, your guitar caught your eye. it had been sitting in the corner, untouched, since izzy had played you a song on it the night before he left. jumping off the sofa, you had an idea. you could write a song. get everything off your chest. so you did.
a few hours later, and ‘tv’ was done. every chord was perfect, and every lyric was straight from your heart. over the next month, you played it every day and you had it memorised.
late at night you were playing the song again when the door of your apartment opened. you didn’t hear it; you were too in the zone to realise it was izzy coming in with his spare key. the use your illusion tour had landed in LA, so izzy decided to come home to visit you.
“baby! i’ve missed you!” he exclaimed, coming into the living room. you snapped your head around and looked at izzy, spooked by his unannounced entrance.
“what the fuck?“ was all you could say.
“what? baby- the tour’s in LA. i wanted to come see you since i haven’t been able-”
“don’t fucking play with me, izzy. you don’t reply to my letters, don’t pick up my calls, and then you just fucking waltz into my apartment saying how much you’ve missed me? are you insane?”
your boyfriend stared at you dumbfounded. “what do you mean?”
“what do i mean? you know rightly what i mean!” you laughed out of shock and anger.
“i’ve been writing you letters. nearly every day. i thought you weren’t writing back ‘cause i was constantly moving from city to city.”
you felt like crying. was he serious? he had been writing you? this whole time? “oh my god. i never got any. did you not get mine?”
izzy shook his head.
“i’ve been phoning you too. every day. every hotel you stayed at. they never put me through to you.” you added as tears started to well in your eyes.
izzy joined you on the sofa and pulled you into a tight hug. it felt refreshing and warm, and you cried into his neck.
you stayed like that for a while. it was sad, but it felt natural. you two talked for hours, explaining everything you’d said in your letters to eachother. finally, he was home. for a while, at least.
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changingplumbob · 3 days ago
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CW: Low level sim spice - Guide to content warnings
Glenn: That was great and I'd love to just go to sleep like a normal person but I think I want to have a quick shower
Silver: *chuckling* Did I get you too messy already
Glenn pulled Silver up to where he could kiss him comfortably.
Glenn: Not at all but sweat tends to make me break out and I don't want to get all crusty
Silver: Fair point, I suppose I should wash up to then so I don't ruin your sheets
Glenn: Oh, you think you're sleeping in my bed do you? Very bold. You can use the washbasin since you're old and I've got dibs on the shower
Silver: I can't join you in the shower?
Glenn: *laughing* Definitely not now if ever, I have a whole washing routine that I am very loyal to
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Glenn turned on the water and climbed right in while Silver washed down in the sink. It was amusing watching Glenn shower. He had several songs he would sing while he did it, and seemed to have parts of his routine that tied to particular verses or choruses. When Silver was clean he went back to the room to pull his underwear on and grab Glenn's discarded clothes. Back in the bathroom he closed his eyes and listened to Glenn's singing voice. It wasn't the best he'd heard but it was every bit as adorable as Glenn was.
Glenn: Can you pass my towel Silver
Silver opened his eyes and looked where Glenn was pointing. Grabbing it he went back and started drying Glenn.
Glenn: Uh, what are you doing
Silver: *smiles* Helping
Glenn: Very nice but try not to make me need another shower
Silver: No funny business, I promise
When Glenn was dry and dressed the pair hoped in bed and Glenn cuddled up close to Silver.
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Glenn: I'm going to miss you when you're away
Silver: Yeah. Me to
Glenn: Do you think, maybe one day, you won't have to move around all the time? That you'll be okay being still?
Silver: I hope so
Glenn: Well I can wait. I think you're going to be worth it
Silver thought about the best way to reply but before he thought of a response Glenn was asleep. Part of him didn't want to leave, but while he felt safe with Glenn he still felt like he'd been in Willow Creek too long. A lifetime of being pursued by hunters was hard to shake.
In the morning he was extra quiet while he got his things together. Glenn looked so peaceful sleeping, he didn't want to disturb him. He searched the house for a pen and paper but couldn't find any. Did people not write letters anymore or just spellcasters? Taking one last look at Glenn he left, there was no time like the present to figure out the whole texting thing.
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When Glenn woke up he wasn't startled at being alone, he normally woke up in an empty bed after all. But as he dozed the memories of the past few days came back, especially last night. Smiling he sat up and looked around but Silver's pack and sleeping bag were gone. He must have left already. Glenn felt a sadness in his heart again but it was different than the sadness after Grayson. While that had been a desolation this was more of a... lonely feeling. He didn't feel abandoned, or unloved, just by himself.
Propping himself up in bed he looked out the window. Despite the clouds it was peaceful today. He thought back on last night and smiled, trying to commit every moment to memory. In the corner one vial glowed pink from the channeled pleasure. That was good, he'd be able to talk to Henri about the potion today then.
*phone buzzes*
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I apologise for leaving without a proper goodbye. You looked so peaceful Babycakes I didn't want to wake you up. I hope you enjoyed last night, I'm hoping we can do it again sometime, winky face. I know you told me how to put in a winky face but I forgot. Have a good day, chat tonight? Dearest wishes, Silver
Glenn lent forward in excitement. How to answer? He quickly ruled out chat language because explaining what lol meant would ruin whatever came before it.
That's okay, it takes time to break a habit right? I'll be right here when you get back. Well probably not in bed but still, you get what I mean. Remember to take pictures of the flowers for me okay?
How to sign off? Something flirty? Something proper? Something sincere? Give up and just send a picture of his pixel parts?
Enjoy your day, I can't wait to talk to you tonight and try to teach you the in and outs of emoji. Cuddles, Glenn
Somewhere far away Silver got the text and thought, what on earth is emoji?
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A quick locating spell after breakfast told Glenn Henri was currently in the tower. Grabbing the ingredients he needed he headed off.
Glenn: Good morning Henri! Isn't it a great day
Henri: Yeah it is, I- wait, why are you so chipper? Last time I saw you were wrestling over the idea of harvesting pleasure alone. Did you finally figure it out
Glenn: I did yeah, one vial of pleasure, nice and fresh. By my calculations that means I have all the stuff I need for a potion of plentiful needs
Glenn handed the flask over and Henri studied it closely. Slowly a smile spread across his face and he looked up beaming.
Henri: So you found someone to help you eh? That's great! I'm glad you're leaving that other fellow behind you. You're a nice guy Glenn, you deserve good things
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Glenn: What? How do you know I didn't just make it myself
Henri: *chuckling* I'm an artist Glenn. I take just as much care with my potion ingredients as I do when I'm making my pastries. The colour of pleasure differs slightly depending on how many people are involved in making it. I mean they're all shades of pink and red but the trained eye can tell them apart
Glenn: So it tells you I was with someone
Henri: And that they were a werewolf. Don't worry, I won't tell the twins if you don't
Glenn: *sighs* Oh I can only imagine their commentary on the matter
Henri: *chuckles* Best not spoken aloud
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mimpinightmare · 2 days ago
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REBLOGGING THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS INTERSTHING TO NOT TO-
Also, I just listened to "Good Things Go", and... CAN I SAY HOW BRILLIANT IT IS?????????
NO, BEING FOR REAL. I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT EXPECT IT TO GO HARD-
(I might misinterpret wrongly about what the song means, but I can fairly say this is HOW I INTERPRET "GOOD THINGS GO". And you are allowed to agree, or disagree of my interpretation of it) :
From what I analyze from the song, the first verse and second verse feels like it was meant to throw off (purposely) the audience about "HOW WE PERCIEVE THE PERSON" in the song.
The lyrics in First and Second verse seems to be leading to the "Person" in the song, was wronged and is hard for them, the "person", to let go of the person that was mistreated them in the past.
And I get so tired of putting out fires and making up lies Checking my eyes for some kinda light
Seems like it supposed to suggest, the person tried to salvage and save the broken relationship (what you see is the relationship, regardless is romantic or platonic, I think bout are just as valid.)
Checking my eyes for some kinda lightBut nothing's inside and it Feels like it's rained in my head for a hundred days
Supposed to suggest, the person is losing and stripping themselves because of the relationship, because of their person.
I've asked for forgiveness a hundred times(I've asked for forgiveness a hundred times)Believed it myself when I halfway apologized (Believed it myself when I halfway apologized)
Feels like the person is getting gaslighted from the person, thinking they should apologize for the ruining the relationship.
It's not unfair I'm asking for prayers but nobody caresGoing nowhere like falling downstairs while everyone stares No one's there when I've asked for forgiveness a hundred times
Suggesting the person was questioning the relationship, trying to look for answers from people, but everyone seems to not care or notice. Letting the person getting more hurt and alone.
Now so far, this seems like a really great message and conversation about "Destructive Relationships". The person, who the song is about is going trough a horrible situation, because of their person in the relationship.
Right?
THEN THE SONG STARTS TO FLIP OVER ITSELF IN "ACT 3" AND REVEALS WHAT'S RELLY GOING ON :
No, I'm just taking a shot, ahMaybe I'm just too eager, oh Maybe I lost the plot, ha I used to pity some peopleI said they were missing a spine, yeahMaybe the problem is ego Maybe the, maybe the problem is mine, really, I'm fine
Don't get too intimate, don't get too curiousThis is just feeling like it's not that seriousStare at the ceiling, feeling deliriousFuck all your empathy I want your fury 'cause I will justTell you I'm better than, better thanSpit out my medicine, medicine, ay Drunk on adrenaline-drenaline And I don't know why I
Say I hate you when I don'tPush you when you get too closeIt's hard to laugh when I'm the jokeBut I can't do this on myOnly you can save me from my lack of self-controlAnd I won't make excuses for the pain I caused us bothSo thank you for always standing by me even though Sometimes bad things take the place where good things go
From First to Second verse, I thought is was clear to me the person is in a horrible relationship and questioning themselves about it.
As much this still holds truth, "ACT 3" adds a-WHOLE-noter LEVEL and switch to became my interpretation of the song; "One's struggles Mental Health" :
I think is brilliant Linkin Park did this (from what I analyzed-) because from the first to second verse, you empathize the person in the song, villainize the other one. But then it reveals what's actually happening,
Third verse suggested that their mental health has been gotten worst as days goes on, losing themselves in the process. And then unfortunately, effected the relationship between them and theirs. It then because destructive along the way.
They hated how this came to be that they feel like their mental health problems is a burden to others. It cause them to push people away, refusing people's help and connection from them.
They think their too much of a "joke" to be helped, as they descended into impulsive behaviors and neglect their medicine.
What's more interesting, when you got the whole context what's going on, you finally see a different perspective in First nd Second verse now:
And I get so tired of putting out fires and making up lies Checking my eyes for some kinda light
Tired of lying to their love one(s) about what their going through, since they don't what to burden them and make the relationship worst.
Checking my eyes for some kinda lightBut nothing's inside and it Feels like it's rained in my head for a hundred days
Every much still implying they are losing and stripping themselves away, but now it's not because of the relationship, but the fear they might hurt them because of their mental health. So they isolate themselves from them.
I've asked for forgiveness a hundred times(I've asked for forgiveness a hundred times)Believed it myself when I halfway apologized (Believed it myself when I halfway apologized)
CONSTANTLY APOLOGIZED to them for their mental wellbeing, to the point, they don't believe apologizing is ever enough.
It's not unfair I'm asking for prayers but nobody caresGoing nowhere like falling downstairs while everyone stares No one's there when I've asked for forgiveness a hundred times
This might be a "STRETCH", but I feel this part of the lyrics implying 'Stigma about their Mental Health"
They prayed so hard to get better, despite believing they won't. The "Everyone Stares" feels like strangers judging them without a second thought what they're going through. Still believe they should forgive to people, even though believe apologizing it's not enough...
Another thing I really like about ALL of this is that, between them and them, nobody is portray as a villain.
It was cleared you are rooting for the person in the song. And then after the reveal, you are STILL rooting for them, just for a different reason now. Their mention of their Mental Health was not portray as "horrible" or "evil", but a struggle they going through, and probably for a long time.
It's so easy to portray them as a "villain" after the perceptive switch and stigmatize the mention of the mental health issues. But they still portray as a person, just so happened to be struggling with something, like millions other people.
The person in the other hand, switch my perceptive of them on the last verse:
Only you can save me from my lack of self-control And I won't make excuses for the pain I caused us both So thank you for always standing by me even though Sometimes bad things take the place where good things go
They now accept they do need them to help them be better. No more lying, no more pushing a way. They slowly open themselves to them, even thanking them for understand and standing by them through their mental health journey.
I am probably prove what I'm getting at with my point across, but I have to share this because it POP INTO MY MIND, LIKE LIGHTING THAT WON'T LEAVE ME- I LOVE EVEYTHING "GOOD THINGS GO" REPRESENTS! (At least through my interpretation of the song-)
some days we are treating our inner child. other days we are trying to revive our dead dreams. we just don't want to be lost stars. we deserve more than that.
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k0kichiimagines · 2 years ago
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oh my God
my college is offering a hamilton thing for later this year 😭
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chirpsythismorning · 6 months ago
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I’m sorry but nothing will ever beat Finn’s drive playlist that he made during s3 filming, with songs like Me and Michael, The Basement, Gay Thoughts and No Woman lmaoooo
#byler#stranger things#in all seriousness#finn has already confirmed he listens to music on the way to set to get in the zone for his character#millie and noah have said when asked that he’s the cast-member most likely to be listening to music on set#do I think every song on there is byler-coded? no#do I think he made it specifically for byler fans to witness and read into? no#but i do think there is a middle ground here#since byler is happening... yeah there are gonna be songs that get him in the zone for byler scenes#and yet there are also probably gonna be songs that he likes rn and wants to use to feel inspo for filming in general#aka plenty of songs just there for the way they sound/the vibes that get him more comfortable getting into character#but then again he also could have made the playlist private to avoid people reading into it#he’s known for years people have seen his playlists and hasn’t made those private either#so I don’t think he cares if ppl read into it#(at least for now...)#but fr that drive playlist still haunts me to this day#i remember when he mentioned listening to music to get in the zone for filming#he specifically mentioned that he listened to it when driving to set and ppl went crazy connecting it to his drive playlist lol#so i mean who knows#maybe he makes the names confusing/random but also sometimes with a hint of truth bc he knows people are gonna deny it or read into it#and he's playing with that possiblity#but i wouldn't die on that hill by any means.#but the drive playlist is why idrc if people read into the STurn one bc i mean....#yeah those songs that sound eerily like mike's emotions in regards to will probably are that way for a reason
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sockeyesoren · 1 year ago
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Who let the dogs out
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takeyourcyanide · 5 days ago
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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possum-quesadilla · 2 months ago
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Ngl im not really someone who cries much, like I can't, and there is this one song (the underworld, EPIC: the musical) that always makes me sad but I can't cry and it felt shity and then I explained to someone why it was so sad and saying it outloud made me cry and it felt good to finally be able to cry for that song
Umm
You should listen to epic the musical
It's like
25 songs
15 more are on the way
Most of them don't make me cry
The fact that this is the first piece of media too make me cry should tell you a lot about it's quality.
Oh man. I just gave it a listen and holy moly. You’re right, might have to listen to the whole thing! It HIT right in the gut.
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lizzydizzyyo · 8 months ago
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So fucking sad that David Archuleta put his life on pause for some stupid missionary period taking two years when his career was literally shooting up (eventually killing it until it sizzled out), not to mention doing a whole PR manouver when he was "caught" in a gay bar from a grainy cctv screenshot (which is not a bad thing btw) but he ended up becoming a public queer ex-mormon anyway. All that effort and bullshit. Man. Imagine if he went ahead with his career in 2012-2014 instead, he might even come out earlier because 2013 was literally the gay coming out year. Can you imagine. Can you imagine how spoiled we would have been as an archie if he did that instead. CAN YOU IMAGINE.
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suffercerebral · 2 months ago
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i wonder if my ex best friend remembers my birthday every year the way i remember hers
#haven't really thought about her in a while#hope she's well#i don't think she remembers it#i often feel like i'm leaving flowers at the graves of people from my past#lately i've been haunted by thoughts and dreams about people i used to love#and i will always love all of them#no matter how badly i got hurt in the process#a piece of me fractures off when i love someone and i wish they'd keep that piece tucked away somewhere in the closet and dust it off somet#imes. i stil have every letter#every gift every photo every silly thing i've saved over the years#and i know that no one does the same for me#i wonder what my ex did with the drawings i made them after they dumped me for their ex. were they thrown out and forgotten#or maybe did they keep them in a drawer somewhere to find a few years down the line and remember my face. my voice. my laugh#i still have the letter i started writing for them about a week before they left where i was saying i regretted not telling them i loved th#and sometimes i wonder had they seen the finished product if things would be different#my reluctance to admit my love out of fear of being forgotten results in abandonment more often than not#my girlfriend now swears the pattern isn't going to repeat but i've heard that song before and lately i haven't felt safe#and loved the way i once did. she tells me to talk to my therapist. but i don't think it's in my head. i told her if she's thinking of#leaving to just do it now and spare me the pain of love burning out slowly#and maybe she'll listen and that terrifies me#i am my own biggest burden
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vzajemnik · 2 months ago
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i need to be put down but its okay cause im going to sleep anyway. keeping his jagermeister tattoo and septum piercing in my thoughts
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listen and think of them pls
#Have I posted these all here before? Yes. Should you all still emo cry circle jam to them yes so do so#Get in bitch we’re diving back into Boreo feels (for writing purposes so yn it’s fiiiine it’s healthy even to emo sometimes right?)#He asks as if it’s change a thing if it wasnt#Lmfaooo okay but listen listen I plan the sad music first theeeen my dance music and workout#I get emo feels out after I promie fr I do it smooth brain style big smov brain haver I am! Okay!#boreo#boris pavlikovsky#the goldfinch#tgf#theo decker#theodore decker#theo i’m not gay decker#donna tartt#boreo music#And hey hey I included a song to end on that will help you “life… eh?” It because for me is Boris getting high w/Potter#Spotify#Also bedroom ceiling song UGHHH could just see sm to that aibsejwudhbsjf not emo about it actually how perfect it is and and#Def don’t imagine them both talking to their moms when they get drunk or high enough not to judge themselves about it#Asking them for guidance maybe just in their heads at first but the more they’re stressed the more they just can’t push off the want stuck#In their throat to just fucking ask them out loud till one night they just let out all slurred and embarrassed in the dark of their room#Omfg I miiiight need to have thiiiis in Forget about Kotku fuckkn hellllll#5seconds later I’m like yes no I will I think lol I need happy endings for my boys always and wasn’t sure how I would get there but thiiis#Mmmmm it’s giving me ideas in making that idea ages back I got from that Russian Facebook post I shared of writing love letters to someone#Sleeping cause you can’t tell em that rn and I just hmmmm *meme of ghoul boys*:IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS my brain: you ain’t connect shit
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daz4i · 1 year ago
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sorry you recommended me a song and it's been like 2 years and i still haven't listened to it yet. it will happen again
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babeclownart · 1 year ago
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I've been here for so long That my shadow left an imprint on the wall From the same place where I cast it every day until dawn From the same chair, I'm writing the same song And I wrote all night But I erased all of it cause all of it was wrong
...Why is it me singing the same song?
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