#sometimes it may take me a bit to respond but I'm always happy to hear other people thoughts and gush with them! ^_^

[thatcrazycrowgirl]

I don't know if you're still going on the Jacob frye gush but. I see Jacob as the kind of guy to kiss hands.

Young, he's got that charm and tends to lean down when doing it. Mostly teasing or getting his flirt on with someone he fancies or whatever.

Older, I see him more of the standing up type when doing it. More respectable or gentle, he dosen't kiss it as much. Like brings it up close and bowing his head slightly, but dosen't make contact.

Hey, I am almost always low-key up for having an excuse to gush about Jacob, so by all means, y'all are welcome to send me your thoughts anytime! ^_^

Also, YES. I can absolutely see Jacob as that sort.

When he's younger, in addition to what you said, I can also see him peeking up from under his dark lashes and giving a cheeky, little wink right after brushing his lips against someone's knuckles, grinning when he notices the blush he gets from them in return. Even as he continues to court his beloved and gets past the initial "politely kissing the hand as a greeting" stage, he never stops doing it. He loves doing it so much, in fact, that even if he's doing something ordinary like taking a stroll or having dinner with his significant other, he'll just link his hand in theirs and bring it up to his lips to leave a lingering kiss, smiling against their skin with happiness in his eyes.

As for when he's older, I can totally see him doing the other thing you suggested, as well - his soft breath making the contact against that person's skin as he just barely glosses his lips over their hand, especially more so in public. In private, I can also see him being the sort to gently kiss his beloved's palm, when they reach to touch his cheek, just basking in the comfort and present warmth radiating from their hand. Those different types of contact, no matter how subtle, are just what he needs to bring himself back to the present - especially after the tragedy of 1888 - and get a good, daily reminder of how much he is loved and how in love he is with the one he is with.

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: i caved and did an actual Ewan fic! Given that the lad is more of a public persona nowadays, I reckon it's fine (?) This is pure self-indulgence for all my Ewan loves. May have a continuation but idk for now, enjoy!!

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

The reader and Ewan are paired for press interviews. Despite barely having any scenes together and only knowing each other in passing on set, the chemistry they share cannot be denied...

Your first round of press takes place in a primped up hotel suite in Paris, thanks to the team at HBO.

You are an up and coming actress, much like some of your costars in the show, but the pressure is heavier on you because you were entering in season two, whereas everyone was already well-acquainted with one another.

Your few scenes were mostly with Jace and Baela, so you grew close to Harry and Bethany.

However, the media team decided to pair you up with Ewan for the day. A little fun initiative was set by the team that a character from the Blacks would be do press with a counterpart from the Greens - hence, yourself and Ewan.

You're nervous as you walk down the hallway, unable to fully pay attention to the instructions your lovely assistant gives you.

She tells you about the different interviewers for the day, bloggers and magazine writers from all over the world. She reminds you that each one will only be for a maximum of 5 minutes, so it shouldn't be too complicated. She smiles and eagerly says, "Take a deep breath, you got this!", as you reach the suite doors.

But in your mind, all you can recall is your first interaction with Ewan, almost a year ago right after the table read. You had nervously blurted out to him that Aemond is your favourite character, after he just asked, "How are you?". He laughed, said thank you, before he was pulled away in conversation by Tom.

You pray to the fictional Westerosi gods that things will fare better today. That you won't get all tongue-tied when those steel blue eyes land on you.

Upon entering the room, the team is quick to fuss over you. Sometimes you forget that you're actually an actress now. A celebrity, some might say. It all feels surreal and you have a inkling it won't ever stop being this way.

Ewan is already seated in front of the camera, and he stands to give you a hug as you finally walk over.

"Hey there, how are you?" he smiles widely, smelling like cigarettes and something muskier as he wraps his arms around you.

Unroll your tongue. Rework your brain. Calm down.

"Hey, Ewan!" you respond. "I'm doing great, happy to see you again."

"Well, I only wish we could have had more time together on set." Ever the gentleman, he gestures for you to take your seat before he does the same. "But next season perhaps? Who knows?"

"Oh, sure." You settle in, pleased by the fact that your chairs are only about a foot apart. "We can both look forward to my character giving Aemond the arse kicking he deserves."

He laughs, eyes glinting with mischief. "Come on now, I was thinking our characters are actually quite compatible, no?"

"Well, I sure wouldn't want to step on Alys' shoes. She'd probably curse my character all the way to Yi Ti."

"Hmm," he hums, biting his lip. You can't help but hear Aemond when he does that. "I say you can always count on Aemond and Vhagar to come to the rescue of a beautiful maiden such as yourself."

Well, you'll be damned. Ewan, while still an introvert of his own sort, is as charming as can be. If he's turning it on to get himself hyped for the press, it's working.

It's definitely working on you, to say the least.

The media manager gives the signal for the first interview to begin, and a reporter walks in, all ready with prepared script in hand.

"Here we go," you mutter, facing forward.

"Good luck," Ewan replies.

You both shake the reporter's hand, and he introduces himself as Jared.

"So guys," Jared begins. "Why don't we start with you telling me a little bit about what we can expect from your characters this season?"

The question is easy, and it doesn't take long for you and Ewan to think it through. Jared asks a few more basic questions, before drawing the attention more to you.

"When you watched season one, did you have a favourite character?" he asks you.

You smile, "Oh, I mean, I have to say - and Ewan already knows this, by the way - that Aemond was my favourite character."

"Was?" Ewan says, feigning shock. "Unacceptable."

"Was... Is... " you shrug, rolling your eyes playfully, earning a laugh from Jared. "I think I might be more a Daemon girl now."

"Oh!" Jared exclaims happily. "Does Matt know about this?"

"I'll be sure to tell him - "

Ewan interjects, shaking his head at you, "There's no need to tell him, because I'll convert her back to Team Aemond in no time, trust me."

"Daemon is awesome, though," you say to him, smiling.

"Sure." Ewan makes a face like that fact doesn't matter. Wasn't he the one who said that Daemon would be the character he would most like to play if not Aemond?

"And Caraxes is my favourite dragon." You share a look with Jared, hoping he would agree.

"Yes!" Jared says. "Caraxes is the best dragon in the show, in my opinion."

"Ah, you're both wrong," Ewan says. "My Vhagar is the oldest and baddest dragon in all of the land."

"My Vhagar, he says," you joke. "Seems like someone still hasn't shed Aemond for this press tour."

"And I never will, darling." His gaze is intense when he turns to you, and you clear your throat to fight the warmth rushing to your cheeks.

"Alright, they're giving me the wrap-up," Jared thankfully breaks the tension. "It was a pleasure talking to you guys, congratulations on the new season!"

One interview down, and your nerves have already considerably subsided. Ewan tapping your arm to start up a conversation once more surely helps in distracting you.

In the best damn way possible.

"How do you think we did? That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"I think we did quite well," you casually offer a high five, but your heart skips a beat when Ewan interlaces your suspended hands for just a moment.

"I'm glad they paired me with you," Ewan says, after releasing your hand. You hold on to the armrests to keep your fingers from twitching.

"I am, too," you admit. "I am a fan of you, after all, but I think you already know that."

He blushes, "Well, that's not a bad thing. I think you're a fantastic actress. I must have seen your first film a good ten times."

"You mean my first and only film," you add humbly. "But thank you."

"Only film for now," he affirms. "No doubt this is only the beginning for you, darling. With your talent and your charisma, I'm sure you have potential scripts piled up already."

"I could say the same for you! Have you seen what your fans say about you online? You're the internet's new boyfriend, Ewan Mitchell."

The media manager announces the next interview, but Ewan follows up with a response for you under his breath, "I have seen some things. But when I have a girlfriend, I'll make sure she won't have to share me at all."

Oh, so apparently he is single. But wait - why is he telling you this?

You don't get to mull over that thought. For the time being, the next interview starts and you make sure you do a good job at what you're paid to do - promoting the series.

Not daydreaming about getting with a costar, for heaven's sake. Stay professional.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

You feel lightheaded after finishing the seventh - or had it been the eighth? - interview.

Your assistant delivers a coffee to you during the twenty-minute break. Ewan had stepped out to the balcony to have a smoke, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

He certainly is everything you expected him to be, and so much more. Insightful, cheeky, dedicated. An artist, through and through. He was in the business for all the right reasons, passion and respect for the craft.

If he had any flaws, you weren't privy to them yet. If there are any reasons for you not to be attracted to him, you didn't know what those were yet.

And with every flirtatious remark and pointed smile, you can't deny the hope blooming in you.

"Hey," he reappears, pulling you out of your musings. "I hope you don't mind that I smell of smoke."

No, you didn't, not when it's him.

"Don't worry about it," you reassure him. You tilt your head forward to take a sip of your coffee, but a lock of your hair falls in front of your face. Annoyed, you think to reach for it, but Ewan beats you to it, tucking it back in place.

"There you go, darling," he croons, gesturing for you to proceed in drinking.

"Th-thanks." His eyes don't leave yours as you take a slow sip.

"So," you say, desperate to break the silence, "which interview did you enjoy the most so far?"

"How can I possibly choose? I mean, I really liked the one with ComicSociety, the guy that said our characters have a lot of chemistry and should get together next season. He's right, I already told you!"

"Ohhh, sure, that will go down really well with the Blacks and Greens."

He smirks, "I don't see why not?"

"For one, Aemond is ensnared by Alys, and my character will never give up fighting for Rhaenyra. I just don't see it happening, Ewan."

"Right," he mutters thoughtfully, "there is still Alys in the picture."

"Still in the picture? With the amount of steamy scenes you two have lined up for season three, I'd say she will be Aemond's entire picture in and of herself."

"Hmm," he glances at you once, then looks down. Dare you think it, does he look disappointed?

"But hey," you add lightly, "maybe we can talk to Ryan and he can flip the entire script just for our characters."

"Yeah," his cheeky smile resurfaces, "maybe you can take Alys' place."

Take the place of Alys? Of Alys. Is he insinuating...

"Next round of interviews, guys!" The media manager announces to the room.

"Here we go again, darling," Ewan squeezes your hand once, before putting on his professional face once more.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

By the end of it all, not even caffeine can perk you up. You were exhausted, you and Ewan having finished four full hours of press.

Your assistant comes to your aid, ready to direct you back to your own hotel room.

"This has been such a pleasure, Ewan, really." You stand, this time initiating the hug.

He squeezes you gently, humming in your ear. When you pull apart, he says, "I honestly wouldn't mind trudging through hours and hours of press with you."

That's sweet of him. You're too tired to mask the warmth that rises to your cheeks. "And I feel the same. Today couldn't have gone any better."

"Truly, and listen, maybe we could - "

"Ewan!" The manager approaches. "I'm so sorry to rush with this, but we need to film just a quick soundbite with you for Aemond. Just two to three questions for the Max Tiktok account?"

"Oh, okay - " Ewan is reluctant to turn away from you.

"Perfect! If you could just stand there by the windows please..." The manager already has him by the arm, directing where he has to go.

"We have to go," your assistant says. "Still have to prep for tomorrow."

"I'll see you soon, Ewan!" you call out to him. "Thanks again."

He gives a half-hearted wave, dejected as he watches you walk out of the room.

"That wasn't too bad," you share with your assistant as you enter the elevators. "Not bad at all, actually."

"Oh, you did so well," she compliments. "It definitely helps with the press that you and Mr. Mitchell have such insane natural chemistry."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

In the calm of your hotel room, you get ready for bed.

Just when you're about to finish with your nightly routine, your phone rings from your bedside table. You're quick to rush over, thinking it could be your assistant or your manager, with an urgent update about work.

But no - it's an unknown number. A UK number, as it appears.

Confused, you click answer anyway, putting it to your ear with a tentative, "Hello, who is this?"

"Hi, darling."

"Ewan?"

"Yeah, uhm, I hope I didn't disturb you - "

"Not at all," your answer comes out in a rushed breath.

"I also hope you don't mind that I got my assistant to ask your assistant to give me your number? It's what I wanted to ask you before you left today."

"Oh." You feel fully awake now, by some miracle, butterflies finding home in your stomach. "I don't mind. I... I should have given you my number, anyway. I have most of the cast's, in case I need to get a hold of you guys."

"Hmm, right," he says from the other end. You hear him calmly breathing, the sound strangely comforting, and wonder if he can hear the same from you.

He says, "I just wanted to keep hearing your voice. Didn't get enough of it today," and your heart just about stops.

"Oh. Okay," is all you are able to respond with.

"What are you doing?"

"Just... just getting ready for bed." Phone pressed to your ear, you shuffle around the room, putting some things back in place.

He says nothing for a few seconds, but you still hear his breathing, and some shuffling in the background. It occurs to you that he might just be as nervous as you are now.

Maybe.

"Listen," he finally says, "do you want to hear my pitch to Ryan about why our characters should get together next season?"

A genuine laugh escapes you. He sure is persistent. Playful, sure, but you're definitely willing to play along.

"Let's hear it."

"First," he says, "you have to renounce Daemon as your favourite character - "

"Not a chance."

" - and swear your love for Aemond."

"Keep dreaming."

He laughs, and you can only picture the corners of his eyes crinkling.

"Aww darling," he teases, "don't you love me?"

💌 part two - part three

The OGs will know that the final line is a nod to my first ever Aemond fic! 🖤

Did this slightly delay my series works? Yes, yes it did. Do I regret it? For Ewan frickin Mitchell, I would never ~

[third-arch]

No Surprises-A Trafalgar Law x Reader Fan Fiction Chapter 1-Birthday

sfw, fluff, some cussing

Today was your Captain's birthday. The Heart Pirates enjoyed themselves while the party was in full swing. Chatter amongst your crewmates was largely focused on other October birthdays. "I can't think of many other people who have October birthdays…" said Penguin.

"Oh!! I'm pretty sure Marco's birthday happened, and Bartolomeo's is today, too!"

"Eh? How do you even know about that? That's just weird, dude"

You giggle. One of your crewmates looks at you,

"Say, Reader, when's your birthday? You're a bit more of a rookie here than the rest of us." "It's actually one week from today! Hehe" you stare into your lap.

"The thirteenth?? Dude! We need to celebrate for Reader!" "Ah! Nonono, it's okay! Like, I don't really go anywhere on my birthdays, I kinda just like being alone..." you respond, still staring into your lap.

This was normal for you to do. You weren't necessarily the most outgoing person on board. You kept to yourself most of the time. You also loathed parties.

"Like one time, I went to this dance when I was a teenager...and..." Trafalgar Law, your captain, sat at the far end of the table, quietly listening to your ramblings.

Hm, I guess I'm still learning more about her everyday. He felt a bit torn, nonetheless. Did she show up to my party because she was part of the crew or because she wanted to? No, that seems selfish of me to think like that. Hm...

You had an idea.

You excused yourself to go get some more lemonade from the bar. You weren't much of a drinker. You liked more simple beverages, like water, and sugar water...and...pretty much water with one or two ingredients added to it.

While refilling your drink, Captain Law approached you.

“Kanna-ya, may I have a word with you, privately?"

"Oh! Sure Captain" you felt a little anxious. Hopefully, you weren't in trouble. You sometimes had a hard time reading your captain because he was always so stern. According to your crewmates, he used to smile more. But, since his encounter with Doflamingo, his smile is more of a rare sight.

You left the busy kitchen to follow your captain to a corner of the deck. He leaned against the wall, eyes closed. "Hi Captain! Happy birthday!" You smiled

"Oi, Kanna-ya," your captain responded calmly, opening his eyes "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Yeah! I'm not much of a party person, so this is really out of my comfort zone haha, but everyone has been really sweet so far!" "That's good to hear. I'm glad you're feeling welcomed, nonetheless"

You felt sort of awkward with how serious he can appear. Your Captain was taller than you, so you felt shy at times, too. Staring at a floorboard underneath your feet, you ask, "So, how has your birthday been so far?"

"Easygoing, I guess. I'm not too big on parties, either. I just wanted to make sure that you guys were having fun and had a day to unwind." You hum in agreement.

"mm...Anyways, Captain, did you need something from me?". Your captain looked at you with sternness in his eyes. “...Kanna-ya, what are your plans for your birthday?” you look down at the ground again. "Not really anything, sir. I just kinda relax and wait for my birthday to end, I guess" you chuckle awkwardly. Captain Law still looked unamused.

"It doesn't have to be that way,” he paused, taking a moment to gather his words. “Do you want to go somewhere with me? Just us...alone?”

Sure, your captain was very stern and sometimes scary. But above all else, you admired him a great deal. Captain Law is someone very important to you. Usually, when he spoke to you, his words felt warm like the sun. Anytime he was harsh was when you did something reckless or potentially harmful to your crewmates. Whenever you said something silly or asked him a stupid medical question, he played along.

You rarely approached his office, because you thought he never wanted people visiting. You gave him as much space as you could, so much that he wanted to see you more often. However, you knew that deep down, you would always be welcomed anytime. Whenever you were doing a chore nearby Captain Law, you would rant to your captain, knowing he was carefully listening to every word.

He helped you through some really dark points in your life, and this trip might be a great way to say "Thank you".

“Sure! Where would we go?”

"Well, there's an island, not too far away from here. We could make it in about a week, hopefully by your birthday. It's covered in flowers, trees, and the weather is beautiful. There's also...other beautiful places to unwind" this is Trafalgar Law's polite and extremely low-key way of saying “hot springs”

You felt tingling sensations in your cheeks. The thought of it all sounded so wonderful. A place where you could play music, make flower crowns, and just be happy. Captain Law knew you needed this more than you thought.

"Yes! I'd love to!" you say excitedly. Your captain gave you a gentle smile. "Do you think we could stop by the Straw Hats on the way there? If they're on the way, I mean. Sanji wants to give something to me. "

"Sure. We can try that."

"YAY!!! Thank you, Captain!!" You hug him, his arms trapped under your grip.

"You're welcome anytime, Kanna-ya" he replies, outwardly unbothered. Hearing his heart skip a beat, your eyes widen and you quickly step back, retracting your hold. You felt incredibly embarrassed by your sudden and unprofessional action.

"AH! I’m so sorry, captain. I don't know why I did that. I know you're not a touchy-or whatever-Ah…um, is it okay if I hug you, captain, or-" Your Captain’s eyes sparkled as he smiled

"...Of course, Kanna-ya", he said, prepared for your arms this time. You embraced your Captain, arms wrapped around his sides and your face buried right into his chest. Your Captain gently pulled you in with his left hand very gently holding the back of your head close to him. His other arm around your shoulders.

You blushed, hearing his heartbeat pound loud and fast. He felt warm, and he had a good heart. You felt safe in his arms. You wanted to stay like this, it felt right. You both closed your eyes, completely at peace with one another.

Before completely getting lost in the embrace, you suddenly remembered your birthday present.

"Ah! Captain!" You spoke into his chest, "H-Hm? What is it, Kanna-ya?" responds Captain Law, caught off guard by the sudden and soft vibrations from your voice. Your captain loosened his arms around you, looking down at you with his tender, golden eyes.

"Gimme a sec" you look down, fidgeting and rummaging your hand in your pocket, your other arm still holding his side. You didn't seem to notice that Captain Law's arms were still holding you close, and he found that adorable.

You finally pull out a small box, about the size of your hand. "Happy birthday! Just open it later!" You hand him the box and quickly escape his embrace to go spend time with the others. "Thank you for everything, Captain! I hope you have a good birthday!" You say excitedly, struggling to make eye contact with him as you walk away. “Oi! I’m your captain! Be a little more…respectful.” It was no use, she was having too much fun for that.

“Jeez…”

-

Later that night, alone in his quarters, Law slowly undid the wrapping that you had made for him. In poor handwriting on the box read,

🌸“To: Law Captain-ya!! :)) 🤍🤍 From: Kanna-ya!! ✨✨✨”🌸

He blushed. “Damn, she didn’t need to be that cute with it…” He whispered to himself.

He carefully lifted the lid to find two hibiscus flower hair clips with a surprise attack of a pinch of glitter now getting everywhere. “!! Jeez, it's all over my fingers and desk! That girl…I am going to have a word with her tomorrow…”

They both were carefully sculpted and crafted, yet flexible and sturdy. One was painted pink in the middle and the other was painted yellow. There was a small note underneath the hair pins.

Law picked up the letter with his glittery fingers. written in poor handwriting. It read,

” Dear Captain-ya,

Happy birthday! Thank you for all that you have done for me! I wouldn't be here without you and the Heart Pirates. You are really sweet and generous. I bought these at a Wano marketplace and thought they’d look cute good on you! I hope you like them.

Sincerely,

Kanna-ya :))!! 🥳🥳🥳

P.S., Do you want to have lunch tomorrow/sometime with me? I can pay!! :0!!

-Kanna-ya” 🤍

Law had a big grin plastered on his face, thinking about how short and lovely you would look walking to a cafe with him. He carefully inspected the Hibiscus hairpins while he thought about you.

He liked imagining how you were a somewhat messy eater, always getting sauce on the sides of your mouth. How soft your hair might be, what you would wear, what perfume you would use. How he would have to point it out and maybe even

…no, I’m not bold enough to do that. Covering his hands over his face, Captain Law sighed. “Jeez, Kanna-ya…”. His heart fluttered, beating loudly the rest of the night.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi, everyone! I hope you like my fan fiction if you stumble upon it!! This is my first time writing something like this. The entire fan fiction is complete, I'm just editing and posting as I go along. The title is inspired by "no surprises - a trafalgar law animatic (one piece)" by luseraphims on youtube!! As a huge fan of both Radiohead and Trafalgar Law, "No Surprises" (and, even more in a later chapter,) was my final pick.

Hope you guys enjoy!

[fatuismooches]

Hello! Do you remember that scene where Dottore erases all of the segments in the archon quest? I wonder how would reader react to it, especially in the case of fragile! reader who always has a segment with them. One moment he is serving them tea and the next moment, he's kneeling on the ground, in pain and reader panics, asking him what's wrong. But before they know it, he's gone :( I imagine reader may be a bit traumatised by that. Maybe they thought Dottore died for good. Even if they think it's just the segment that died, I feel like fragile! reader has some abandonment issues because they are forced to be dependent on Dottore. If they watch Dottore died, even if it's just a segment, it strikes fear that one day Dottore may die unknowingly and they would be all alone in the Fatui, no one caring for them.

NOOOOOOOO PLEASE- I had to mentally recover after reading this. I never bring up the deletion of his clones in my fics cuz it makes me so sad and I don't think I can physically write dottore hcs without mentioning them at least once lol🥺

The way you described it was so good and sad!!😭😭 Such a good scenario!! I imagine fragile! reader talking to the segment, happy that they get to start their day with him and then all of a sudden the clone stops responding. You call his name (the unique one that you made for that specific segment, because you really can't stand calling them by numbers) but there's still no answer. You try to pull him towards you, but it's more like he ends up tumbling onto you, his strength diminishing by the second. Your heart is going so fast you're sure that it couldn't possibly be good for your health. He's saying something under his breath but you can't really hear it besides the mention of "Omega" and "ridiculous" and "regret this." You cup his cheek, and try to make the segment look at you, and he does, though the blatant fear written all over his face causes your throat to dry up. His grip on your thighs tightens as he opens his mouth to say something and then-

He's gone, as if he never existed at all. And you are at a loss for words. You start to tremble, and it's not from the cold this time. You muster your strength to leave the room, and when you get to the lab it's dead silent. No one in sight. No clones busily sprinting around to get things done. You collapse to the floor and clutch your chest, completely in shambles. Was he... gone? No, Zandik could never fall. Your lover was the Second Fatui Harbinger, with strength that rivaled the Archons, there's no way, it was simply not possible for him to lose. Zandik would never leave you, you tried to convince yourself. It wasn't true, it wasn't true, it wasn't- Your frail body could not keep up with what your mind was suggesting, and you blacked out.

Fragile! reader would definitely be messed up after that... I've written some angst before about them feeling poorly about themselves due to their condition. They feel as though they're a burden sometimes since they rely on Dottore for many things. And this incident just makes them feel a lot worse since what would they do if Zandik was defeated? The Fatui wouldn't take kindly to losers. Forget about your condition, your heart would surely die of grief and loss. Fragile! reader would also probably strongly dislike the Traveler and Nahida from now. I feel as though they would be much more lonely now because they don't have anyone to really talk to now. I also think fragile! reader would be kinda scared of Omegattore now😭 They're not sure how to trust him after he deleted the segments so easily, you were really attached to them </3

I'm going to my corner and crying now ;)

[mithrilhearts]

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier, and Ladybug and Cat Noir but only for Adrinette .

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Hello there!! This is so cool and exciting!! Thank you so much for thinking of me with this, it's such a lovely thing, and I bet all the people you send asks to are over the moon about them! I know I am - anyway, to answer this ask!

I LOVE ASKS!!! Sometimes it may take me a bit to get back to them, but I try my best.

Self -> feel free to ask whatever you want, I don't usually do great talking about myself, but if someone is curious, sure!

Fandoms that we align with -> bagginshield/hobbit (my main one!!), dragon age, lord of the rings (i occasionally reblog some other stuff, but don't really dive deep into them fandom wise.)

Story snippets/Prompts -> ALWAYS

Pets -> ALWAYS ASK - I have two little doggies, and love to talk about them! They're my world, my furbabies.

Hobbies -> I'm a pretty decent baker with a side business for cupcakes and sweets, so I am always happy to talk about that.

Tags -> feel free to tag me in games or whatever! I may not always get to them all, as I miss things here on tumblr, but again, I try my best.

Thank you so much for this! And I look forward to hearing from you again!!

[tamelee]

Hi, I recently followed like in the last week or smth. I wanted to comment on that post that you just made-- I'm sorry people aren't spending there energy in more constructive manners and that you had that garbage in your inbox.

I understand why comments would be restricted. I gotta say, I truly love your art. I've been on/off tumblr for years (diff accts over time) and your art & reblogs are legit a big reason why I check my dash daily. (Even if I've been lurking more than interacting rn)

ik we don't know each other, but SasuNaru (whichever order it is, i tbh dont get the variation.. ;u; ) was my very first ship so long ago. Given my early life their relationship (fanon/canon) gave me hope and helped me push through and ultimately heal some abandonment wounds. These two have been thru hell and back and give me the audacity to believe I and my loved ones can make it back too.

That all being said, Ik it is easier to say "don't let them get under your skin" and all, and that you didn't talk about quitting. But I hope you don't. You're wildly talented. Thank you for sharing what you choose to.

Hi~ @theskinofawriterbella ! Ah dw, it’s usually easy to ignore certain asks and I mostly do, but sometimes I feel like responding when it’s part of a bigger thing/issue. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I stopped doing what I do, especially because other people say I should… I’m ultimately doing this because I love creating. (Oh yes, the comments are restricted! I forgot about that, but it should be temporarily! ^^) 

And whoaaa really!?! That is so kind of you, thank you so much ;-;💕!!! 

I’m sorry to hear you’ve being going through bad times, though I’m very happy that you were able to connect with something and find hope/strength that way. I’d wish’ that for anyone. Naruto’ truly is such a story, don’t you think? As idealistic and flawed (through demographic limitation) it may seem now, its messages are inspiring and Kishimoto truly has a gift that lets you connect with the characters on an emotional level. Especially Naruto and Sasuke and their bond, naturally.

Ahhh I completely missed those glory SNS days. I hear about them frequently from my friend in Japan. Unfortunately I’m a bit late with being an SNS-fan xD and I couldn’t watch everything the first time, but I did see a few episodes and I don’t think there was anything else that lifted my spirits like Naruto’s attitude had. I had my books and my movies which always helped me escape, but I think I could write my own book about all the times Naruto inspired some action I took, because I too grew up in a village that absolutely hated me. Not for the same reason of course, lol, I was just a weird outsider and all, but I did think “well, if Naruto can smile through his pain and still go after his dream then I can as well.” A bit optimistic I’d say, but still. I have no idea what you went through, but on some level I’m sure, I can relate to what you say. I understand. 

Thank you for sharing this with me and taking your time to write and send it 🥰 I really appreciate it ^^! 

[luna-loveboop]

Why don’t you have your pronouns in your bio? I want to interact with your account but as a trans person it makes me feels unsafe if an account doesn’t have pronouns listed. (Genuine question, not trying to attack or anything)

Hello hi :D

I generally take a long time to reply (I choose to take a while so I am not rushing my responses), but I want you to feel safe so I will try and respond quickly

***I tried to respond as a private ask but I think I can't, so my response to anon is under the cut. It is way too long, but I don't want to trim it down and keep friend waiting

^^tone indicators for all of my response is positive and genuine- I am curious and sincere

Thank you for sending this- I love that you are brave enough to ask and I hear you. I'm honoured that you like my account and would love for you to interact with it! I want you to feel safe tho, let's figure it out

Could I ask for advice? I am not yet completely understanding of tumblr or how everything works. I'm not certain what a bio is or where to put it.

I have so far avoided posting a pinned post, or having personal information in my blog description (<is that bio?). I have preferred just having posts- I am also not very comfortable reblogging things yet. I'm not certain how to explain why, but that is the form my anxiety has taken in managing my account appearance. Is it ok to leave it as is?

As far as changes I am slow on that as well, and might take a bit- but again I will try to hurry because I never want you to feel unsafe. You are worth any extent of kindness

So if I may ask- what is a blog bio, and where would I be supposed to put my pronouns? I think others have explained a bit on this but sometimes I don't understand immediately. Is this something that will make people feel unsafe? And may I ask why? I understand if this is uncomfortable, but I always want to be honest and genuine, and learn rather than pretending I know everything. I am autistic and often take a long time to understand things socially. Could not having pronouns be seen as a rejection of my trans friends?

I also have believed they/them to be the sort of default- as a sign of respect for my trans people I say they/them if I am uncertain. I want to help people feel validated with they/them, rather than assume and say something that is not who they are

My pronouns are she/her! :D but I am ok with they/them as normal which is another reason I hadn't put them.

I have several friends I plan on asking for advice on this as well, but I would love advice from your perspective. I want to make sure your concerns specifically are cared for since you asked. If you are ok to go off of anon, could you dm me or talk in replies? I want to learn. Or you could send me asks in anon- but I do not want to seem like I’m telling you what to do, or demand you talk openly if it makes you uncomfortable.

Friend :)

If I have accidentally said something very offensive I am so sorry and please help me understand- I have a heart for you even if words get in the way. I hope I am not defensive- learning and growing and changing are the best parts of life

If anything I said came across as rude or blunt I am sorry- I tell you that is not what I mean and I want to be friendly and light. I struggle with language sometimes (sometimes) which is why I normally take long to respond.

...

Hi friend! I think you are very cool and you've made me happy- now I can learn more :D if I was too intense or seemed demanding I am sorry- I got slightly panicked. I want you to feel heard and safe :)))

I feel secure in my gender identity and would not be adverse to being trans. I have spent so much time searching tho- I enjoy bragging about always having skirts with the best pockets.

I know this post is way too long and I repeated myself- I ramble lol but want to help you feel loved quickly

.

Edit: hate to add more, but hi anon! Many of my friends have come to help me understand more. Thank you for asking- I did not know and love to learn. I've added pronouns, and want to always make changes so people can feel safe. You don't have to go off of anon if you don't want, but if there's anything else I can do let me know. You are so so cool :)))

[thedisablednaturalist]

This is a response to the article you posted earlier, and I wish I was brave enough to open up about this on my main account.

I am also an ambulatory wheelchair user, but I gave up my dream of field work two years ago when I was diagnosed with a life-long chronic illness. I was afraid of being labeled a "liability", so I never considered even trying to find a way to make things work.

I started going back to college this past winter to try to get a Bachelor's Degree in Ecology, but it's been rough. The last few months I've felt like I have just been spinning my wheels -pun somewhat intended- You don't have to respond to this. I just felt like I needed to thank you and tell you that you have helped make my day today a little bit brighter. Reading your article, seeing your smiling face while you hold a log full of bugs, and hearing your story- it made me feel more hopeful and less alone.

Sometimes I get scared, that being so visible and open about my disabilities will prevent me from getting a job and from achieving my dreams. I doubt myself, like am I even doing anything to help? All I really do is have this little Tumblr blog with less than 500 followers, and work with my professors to make my old campus a little more accessible.

And then I get messages from people like you, and I feel like I'm making the right choice. When I was starting out there was literally no space for disabled people in ecology, no advice, no outreach. I did a ton of research and while there are plenty of wonderful disabled activists, I couldn't find any who worked in environmental science. I felt so alone and was treated badly by some professors and classmates which discouraged me even more. So I started this blog hoping to meet more people like myself and compile advice and info for disabled people trying to break into the natural sciences. I've been super surprised with the amount of support and feedback I've gotten so far, the disabled community on Tumblr is so wonderful and willing to help eachother. I'm so happy I've been able to reach people like you which was my main goal all along.

Honestly I started tearing up a little reading your message, and it just empowers me even more to keep going and not be afraid to say yeah I'm disabled and I love working outdoors! I am a scientist! I won't stop fighting to get workplaces to see our value.

I'm so happy for you that you decided to go back to school! Please don't be afraid to ask for accommodations and utilize your university's disability services. It's okay to go at your own pace, I know money is an issue for most of us but it's better to take longer than to end up failing classes. The road to graduation may be harder for us but I know you can do it! Please keep me updated! And as always feel free to ask me any questions!

[soopsiedaisies]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you sm for tagging me @lovelymasks and @strugglequill <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

16, though one is still hidden for fest.

What's your total AO3 word count?

140,294. Counting my, ahem, other/abandoned account, it's about 520k. Counting my drafts I think we've reached about a million.

What fandoms do you write for?

A Court of Thorns and Roses, Batman, and Harry Potter. I've got some WIPs for Bridgerton and Teen Wolf in my drafts as well though.

Top 5 fics by kudos?

an eye for an eye, a leg for a leg. A Batfam fic in which the Joker gets got.

drawn together. Another Batfam fic lmao, with Damian & Bruce being good at art.

yet, never, in extremity, it asked a crumb of me. Sirius & entourage saving little 5yo Harry from the Dursleys.

i watched as your life just fell apart. Charlus & Dorea Potter adopt Harry after Halloween and ensure Sirius gets a trial (with the help of Orion Black)

boy, you've been a naughty girl. Feysand Court of Nightmares smut.

Do you respond to comments?

I try to!! Sometimes I get a notification but I don't have the spoons to write out a deserving reply, but then I forget and then the next time I get a comment... it's been months and I'm too embarrassed to reply after such an enormously long wait. I also have a tendency to not reply to comments under the last chapter of multichaps until I've posted the new chapter.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

grim-old-place, I think, even though it isn't really angsty. I enjoy writing happy endings and hopeful open endings far more. Big fan of fix-its, personally. But yeah, grim-old-place is probably the one with the angstiest ending (despite being only a drabble) because it's just so. Hopeless, I suppose?

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

an eye for an eye, hands down. Hopeful and happy, which is not something you'd expect for a angry&angsty revenge fic full of grief.

Do you get hate on fics?

I don't. Not yet, at least (I'm sure it'll happen though? It's part of posting your stuff online for the world to see). Very thankful I've not gotten any hate yet.

Once I got 'hate' on my attitude towards JKR (in which I think she's awful), but that was not on the fic itself, more on my author's notes.

Do you write smut?

Yes. It's very awkward for me. I'm not a very sexual person lol.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't! No inspo for a good crossover yet either. I'm more an AU person (Bridgerton Prongsfoot, anyone?)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No! [knocks on wood]

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've only ever been asked (I think by a bot lmao), but no, no translations (to my knowledge)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've tried and it ended in chaos <3 The other author and I are still friends, but our schedules just didn't align at all.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Superbat! Prongsfoot is a close-second. (The ship I've shipped the longest is Zukka I believe)

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I've got this time-travel Tomarry fic in my drafts that I want to completely write before posting, but idk if that'll happen lmao. There's a changed backstory to Harry that needs to be taken into account and it's just... a lot.

What are your writing strengths?

I'm very descriptive and (apparently) good at setting a vibe! It's always nice to hear that because those are, generally, my favourite bits in reading actual novels.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sentence-structure variety, use of the passive voice, putting too much detail or far too little because I want to get to the fun bit, creating a well-rounded plot... many.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I've considered it before for another WIP, but... I do think it'll take a reader out of the immersiveness of a fic. I'm also not fluent in any other language than English, Dutch, and Frisian, which may mean I'll royally fuck up any sentences I write in, say, French. There's this skin that allows you to show the translation when you hover though which is cool!! If you're confident in the other language, that might be something nice to look into haha

First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter (unpublished) or Hetalia. I think I've still got a USB stick with some ancient files on there lying around.

Favourite fic you've ever written?

oh, my dear girl. It was really fun to write female Harry in a good relationship with her aunt and cousin, and I've got some really fun bits in the upcoming sequels/chapters (undecided how I'll do that still) as well.

(There's another WIP (still unposted) that I just really love, in which Harry's consciousness travels to an alternate dimension and he ends up in the body of Henry 'Harry' Potter, James' twin brother (who is younger than James by twenty minutes). Henry's consciousness is still there and they just work together, which results in a lot of chaos (with James). )

I also adore nightcourt.gov because it's just humour and silliness which you just need sometimes.

No pressure tagging (I'm so sorry if you've already been tagged or have done this!) : @v-a-l, @plecotusauritus, @the-lonelybarricade, @separatist-apologist, @velidewrites, and anyone who'd like to do this :))

[cannibalcoyote]

Simon Gruber: Am I Worth Anything?

Imagine being John McClane's youngest daughter, and running away to Germany after your parents start fighting again and your dad moves back to New York. What happens when Simon Gruber finds you on the streets:

-This is set after the second movie, but before the 3rd. I have the reader at age 12-

They'd started arguing again, everything was going so good too, Dad had moved here to LA and everything. I don't know what caused all of this, I thought they were happy, I thought everything was fixed... but I'm wrong as per usual.

Mom has us staying with her, but I'm honesty feeling so alone, even with my siblings around. They both are a few years older than me, so they either bully or ignore me, but neither is my friend. Dad was helping us figure this out, but that all went to waste after he left. They started being cold again, acting as if I don't exist. I know this separating is effecting them as well, but at least they have each other, I don't even have mom here to confide in since she's always working.

I try to call dad sometimes, but he's always drunk and usually thinks I'm mom, sometimes he doesn't even give me the chance to talk, just picks up the phone and starts cursing. He's never treated me like that before, sure, sometimes he just picks up the phone and responds that way before knowing it's me, but is that really an excuse? The separation must be hurting him as well... I wish I could help him, but I don't even know how to help myself. 

Sometimes, late at night, I think about what occurred leading up to dad leaving. I remember them shouting at each other, trying to get my brother and sister to take sides. They choose mom either way, I just stood in-between, how could they make me choose? The looks of disdain coming from all sides made me wither, I felt hated, unwanted. Maybe things would be better if I leave?

_______

I left home, it may sound really stupid, but maybe things will be better if I stay at dad's for a little bit; surely things couldn't be worse than staying with my mother and siblings.

The train ride was costly and took around 3 days for me to arrive in New York; my packing was light, just my back pack with a few changes of clothing, all my savings, my ID, some food and a notepad and pen. I didn't want to pack to much because it would make it harder for me to slip out of the house unnoticed, so I just stuffed my backpack and went for it - I probably should've packed other things, but it's too late now.

New York was interesting, I was quite young when we moved to Los Angeles, so being back is a new experience. The buildings are tall and overbearing, they make you feel so small, and the crowded, busy sidewalks only emphasize that point. 

I pull out the map from my pocket, dotting what street I'm on, and then charting the best way to get to my father's apartment. His apartment is a bit away from the station, about 20ish blocks, but I've got enough daylight to make it before nightfall.

Before beginning my trek I pull out my walkman, restarting the CD, it's the Station to Station album by David Bowie - I had to beg for a whole 2 months before my father finally gave in and bought me the walkman, he later gifted me this CD upon noticing how Bowie is my favorite musician. It's a nice reminder that my father cares for me, whenever I'm feeling lonely, I'll listen to this album.

I'm weaving my way through people, trying my best not to run into anyone. The sun seems to be setting a lot sooner than I thought it would, but that must be due to the time difference, I must've forgotten to account for that. Either way, I'm over half way there and the sun is just beginning to set, that last thing I want is to be caught after dark on the streets of New York - I especially don't want this as I am currently an unattended child.

I finally arrive at my fathers apartment, pressing the buzzer at the door, hoping he'll be home and let me in.

"Who is it?" I hear an annoyed voice answer, but I still sigh in relief.

"Dad?" My voice sounds so small, hopefully he still heard me.

"Y/N?" I don't know how to describe it, but it seems like so many emotions smashed into one word: relief, anger, happiness, anxiousness. So many that they overwhelm me.

"Yeah, it's me, can you let me in?" I don't get a verbal response, but hear the door being unlocked. I push open the heavy door, making my way inside the lobby. I head over to the elevator and push the up button, waiting patiently for the doors to open. I'm startled by the abrupt opening of the door from the stairwell, staring at the door as I watch my father come bustling out of it. He looks tense and rushed - a mess if I'm being honest, looking around quickly before stilling when he spots me. 

His movements are fast, he catches me off guard when he pulls me in unexpectedly for a tight hug. I'm surprised, but accept the contact, it's been so long since I've seen my father after all. As he holds me, I can't help but smell the alcohol on him, though I know mentioning it could be disastrous.

We separate and head into the now awaiting elevator, the ride up was quick but surprisingly quiet; I expected some sort of conversation, but maybe he's processing? The walk from the elevator to his apartment felt uncomfortably tense though, like something suddenly angered him. Either way, it made me feel uneasy.

As soon as I enter, I go to speak, but am cut off by the harsh slamming of the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" He questions in a raised voice, he's angry, that much I can tell.

"I-" I begin to respond, but have no time as I am immediately cut off.

"Leaving without telling your mother, wandering the streets of New York at night! How the hell did you even get here from LA, no airline would let you board unattended?"

"I-I used the amtrak." I explain in a shaky voice, averting my eyes from his gaze and staring down at the dirty floor.

"What were you even thinking? Coming over here?" His voice is solemn now, and it makes me more uncomfortable than when he was yelling.

"I thought that... maybe I could stay here for a while?" I respond sheepishly, but hoping - no, praying - that he'll let me stay.

"Stay? Here, with me?" He questions incredulously.

"Please?" I whisper, glancing at him hopefully.

"What? No, you can't stay with me." He looks at me like I'm crazy, I suddenly feel very out of place, like I can't find anywhere that I'm allowed to exist. It's an astounding experience, especially when I've always felt so comfortable with my father.

"But..." I begin, trailing off as I try to think of what to say.

"But what? Don't tell me, you thought you could leave your mother and come live with me, that it would be as easy as showing up on my doorstep unannounced?" I can tell he's making fun of me, his tone gives it away.

"I-" I begin once again, only this time I'm interrupted.

"Well it's not! I thought you were smarter than that? You're going back to your mother's first thing tomorrow, you understand?" His shouting is scary, he's never acted like this towards me, though I have seen a few interactions like this between him and my mother.

"Dad, no, I want to stay here!" I all but beg, wide eyed at his words.

"I don't want you staying here, I don't want you anywhere near here!" My hearing goes silent after that, but there's an obnoxious ringing... Did he just say that? That he wants nothing to do with me, that he doesn't want me anywhere near him?

He says a few more things, but I don't care enough to hear them, all I can manage to do is stare straight forward in a daze. I travelled so far, but not even my father wants me around anymore.

I was right, I should've just disappeared; I'm the catalyst of every fight, had I never been born, maybe they would still be together?

I don't remember much that happened after, just my father rolling his eyes as he drags his palm tiredly over his face. He walks me to the spare bedroom and tell me to get some rest, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep after the words we traded.

I'm not quite sure how long I lay in that bed before I hear my father talking from the living room, I tiptoe out of bed and look through the cracked door, he seems to be on the phone.

"You think I wanted her here! Listen Holly, I'm sending her back on the train tomorrow, alright? Make sure she doesn't comeback to New York." He sounds tired, annoyed, upset... I guess he really doesn't want me here, but I know my mother doesn't want me either.

I wait until my father's all but drunk himself to death, it's around 0100 in the morning before he's passed out on the couch, empty bottles on the coffee table. I cling tightly onto my backpack, walking to the front door as quietly as possible, opening the door slowly before sliding into the hallway and closing it with a dull 'click.'

The ride down was eerie, and it became even more so when I exited the apartment building. The darkness enveloping New York made the environment look quite scary, especially with only the light from the full moon and some blinking lamp posts to light my way. There was still some people out walking, most were either drunk or homeless, so I tried to pass by silently and unnoticed; my goal is to reach the airport before sunrise and buy a ticket out of the country, anywhere as long as it's not here.

I would've preferred to hail a taxi, but I can't risk not having the funds to afford a ticket, though neither of my parents want me, they still have an obligation to find me. Since I'll be paying for the flight in cash, there'll be no tracking where I went, unless the person selling me the ticket remembers my name, face, and flight destination; but I highly doubt they'll check the airports first.

When I finally arrive, the sun is just beginning to raise above the horizon, the streets are getting a little more busy with 6am traffic, and there is now light foot traffic along the sidewalks. 

I was coming up on the airport, I can tell because the planes kept getting louder and louder. I'd been thinking during my entire walk on where I wanted to go, it would be suspicious for a 12 year old to ask what flights are available to anywhere, especially without an adult present. 

I've chosen to go to Germany because I've always loved the language and have wanted to visit since I was 5; I've also formulated a story should I be asked any questions. I'm going to say that I'll be visiting family in Cochem, Germany. I remember reading about that beautiful place in a travel magazine, it looked nice enough and I also can't remember any other place. If they want more info, I'll say I'm specifically visiting my Uncle who lives there, that I'll be staying there for the summer. They shouldn't be asking much after that though, so I should be all good.

I push open the terminal doors, and immediately locate the booth where you can purchase a ticket. The lady behind the desk looks nice, she sounds polite as she finishes up talking with another employee before turning to me. She looks a little surprised to see just me, but she quickly recovers.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She questions sweetly.

"Hi there, I was wondering if you have any flights today heading over to Cochem, Germany?" I respond, I try to sound mature, but I'm not sure if it worked as I notice her raise her eyebrow humorously.

"Well, let me check real quick." She clicks a few times on her computer, tilting her head as she shuffles.

"There aren't any flights to Cochem since they don't have an airport." She states.

"What does that mean?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows as I think my plan may be ruined.

"It just means we find the closest airport to their, and that looks to be Frankfurt Hahn Airport; it's only about 15 miles away." She states nonchalantly, but I'm sighing internally. 15 miles, after how long of a flight? I'll need to get a map too if I don't want to get lost.

"We have a flight leaving at around 0900 with a few seat openings." She continues, showing me the available seats.

"Alright, that works." I state, handing her the cash for the ticket, waiting as she prints it out and hands it to me. I smile in thanks before wandering off to check in and head to my boarding area, I've got a while before my flight, so I guess I'll make myself comfortable.

I don't remember the flight too well, I mainly slept through the flight, having sparse moments of wakefulness when they brought us food and drinks. The people I was seated beside were a kindly older couple, they kept me company and checked in on me; I think they just saw a child alone on the flight and wanted to make sure I wasn't scared or anything.

They would try to talk with me, but I think they realized how tired I was and just let me sleep. They were rather nice, even walking with me off the plane before they separated to go to baggage claim; I didn't need to as I only had my carry-on.

I quickly bought a map from the convenience shop in the airport before heading off on my trek, its around 5am and the sun has yet to rise. The temperature is around 60ºF, so I'm not too cold, I actually welcome the chill as the movement will warm me up in no time.

_______

I've been in Cochem for around 3 weeks now, and I must say that I really should have thought this through. I swapped all my USD over into euros, but I barely have enough to afford food everyday, not to mention I have no place to stay, hotels are far to expensive to even think of. Learning german has also been more complicated than I thought, I assumed it would be easier since I'm immersed in the culture, but it's all just been one big shock for both my body and mind.

Some of the shop owners have started to recognize me; I think they have their assumptions and know I'm homeless, sometimes they'll give me something to eat free of charge. I also can't risk speaking to them in english, I can't risk anyone knowing I'm from the United States, that would only heighten their suspicion on why I'm here instead of in the US. So, for the time being, I'll just have to come off as mute until I learn the language.

_______

It's been a particularly harsh past few days, the temperature has been dropping lower than usual, and my deteriorating clothes haven't been doing much to conserve my body heat. The local children have also taken to terrorizing me, I think they've been making fun of my clothing and muteness (I am now able to mostly understand them after some tutoring from a friendly shop owner).

Sometimes, they'll try to grab my bag, I've had a group of them chase after me just because I wouldn't let them steal my backpack. Their parents either don't notice or don't care, either way, I'm on my own.

They haven't caught me yet, and I can't say what they would do to me if they did. Would they just grab my bag and leave? Or would they want to hurt me for having the audacity to run? Maybe they just chase me because they find it funny, or maybe I have good reason to evade them?

It was actually during one of these chases that I ran into the man that would come to replace my father over time.

It was routine at this point, a group of 6 or so kids would spot me and give chase, I would see them coming and take off.  So far so good, I'm dodging the adults that go on with their lives, trying not to get hit by cars as I sprint across the road.

I'm doing really good actually, I turn around to catch a glimpse of them, they got stopped at the road by passing traffic, yes!

I look forward just as I turn a corner, running straight into someone, they are larger than me, barely being affected by the collision. I, however, had toppled down to the ground , scraping up my palms on the ground as the flail out to catch me.

Tears well in my eyes at the stinging pain, I can feel as the grit and dirt dig into the wounds as they rub against the cobblestone. I quickly glance up and see a tall man with short blonde hair, his eyes are a striking blue; they make me think of my father's eyes, how his aren't as striking as this man's.

I observe his expression, his eyes widen only slightly, showing his surprise about being barreled into so unexpectedly. He looks very professional in what I can best describe as a business casual suit, but something about him makes him seem like more than what he shows. This strange man, he holds an air of authority, power, I could almost describe him as threatening.

My thoughts are drawn away by the trampled footsteps behind me. I quickly scramble up from the floor, ignoring the pain in my hands as I snap my gaze to the corner I had rounded. I look just as the others come around, they halt as well at the sight of me and this adult. 

I lock eyes with the groups leader and immediately begin sprinting down the road, I can hear them giving chase immediately, shouting that no one cares enough about me to help. The tears already welled up in my eyes begin to cascade down my face; they're right, not even my own family wanted, how could I expect that strangers from a different country would want me either?

In my moments of self-pity, I step into a crevice, I was unprepared for the change in level and feel my knee giving out. I tumble to the ground in a flurry, scraping my limbs against the harsh ground. I curse at myself, attempting to stand, but this fall may have done me in, my legs feel like they are on fire, and my left ankle feels heavy and stiff, as though it was being strangled.

Looking up, I notice that I've fallen in a rather secluded area of town, almost no foot traffic here at all, so these miscreants will have a field day, I wonder what they'll actually do now that they've finally caught me.

They surround me, two of them ripping my backpack from me despite my struggle to keep hold of it. The leader marches forward and shoves me, allowing them to grab the bag away. They unzip it before turning it upside down, shaking everything out onto the floor.

We watch as clothes, food, paper and pens tumble out. They look disappointed when nothing else appears, what were they expecting, cash? As if I have any left...

The leader and his lackeys roughly lift me from the ground, having to hold me up since my legs have stopped functioning. Just as they're about to speak, a stern voice erupts from behind them.

"Aufhören (Stop)." They all freeze, the boys looking back to see who interrupted them. I look as well, though it took a lot of effort.

There, standing imposingly a few steps away is the man with the blue eyes, I ran into him, what is he doing stopping these boys from hurting me?

"Was (What)?" The leader questions, he tries to sound stern as well, but I can see him shrinking away when the man steps closer.

"Verpisst euch, lauft zu euren Müttern (Fuck off, go run to your mothers)." He growls in a deep tone, I can feel the disgust in his voice when speaking to these boys. 

They apparently don't need to be told twice, they release me, allowing me to crumple to the floor as they bolt away in the opposite direction. I feel dazed after everything that happened, but looking down at the ground, I can't help but feel despair swelling in my throat. Among the content of my bag was a picture of me and my parents, they're smiling and happy, and so was I. That was our last photo together before the fighting started again.

I reach out and grab the crumpled photograph, gently bringing it up so I could cradle it. I glance at the stranger as he steps closer before kneeling down. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't for him to begin collecting my belongings and putting them back into my bag. 

I can tell he has his suspicions upon viewing my dirty clothing, the toothpaste and toothbrush, as well as the bits of old food wrapped up for later. He finishes zipping up the bag before gently placing it in front of me.

"Wo ist deine Mutter? Dein Vater (Where is your mother? Your father)?" He questions with a concerned tone, I glance into his eyes before quickly looking away. He's very intimidating, even when he's being so nice.

"Weg (Gone)." I reply solemnly. My parents may not be dead, but I don't plan on ever going back, they're better off without me.

"Nun, wer ist für Sie zuständig (Well, who is responsible for you)?" He asks again, hoping that someone is out there looking after me. I sadly, can't give him that answer, it would be wrong to lie to the man who saved me.

"Nur ich (Only me)." I respond, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I'm terrified, what if he turns me into the authorities, or puts me in an orphanage? Or worse, what if he takes me back to New York! 

"Nur Sie? Hier draußen (Just you? Out here)?" He sounds shocked, his eyebrows scrunch up in worry, a distant look appearing in his eyes. He tilts his head in thought, of what, I'm unsure. He stands abruptly, and I'm sure he's going to leave, allow me to be alone again; but I'm the shocked one now when I notice his outstretched his hand.

I analyze it for a few seconds, wondering whether I should accept it, what happens if I do accept it? Is this a mere action of kindness before leaving me, or will this lead to more actions occurring? So many questions in my head silenced when I reach out and place my hand in his, allowing his firm grip to pull me off the floor. 

My legs are still regaining their senses, but he supports me as I try to remember how to stand. I look down at my legs and notice the scrapes and cuts along them, mostly localized around my knees as they are what I fell on during my tumble. I shift my gaze up to my hands, they are so small against his,  knuckles scraped and bleeding from sliding against the ground.

I tilt my head at them, so many injuries in such a short span of time, how will I fix them? I don't have any bandages on me, and I certainly can't afford to buy any.

"Komm, ich bringe das in Ordnung (Come on, I'll fix it)." I just nod my head, who am I to rebuke against his orders, especially after how he's treated me?

"Wie ist Ihr Name (What is your name)?" My words are slow as I try to remember what to say, I am doing better at understanding what is being said, but have trouble speaking the language. I can see the man raise an eyebrow, I almost think he won't answer me.

" Simon. Und du (Simon. And you)?" He states, walking with me through the town market, grasping my hand tighter when he notices the group of boys that had been terrorizing me cross the street.

"Y/N." I respond quietly, it's almost a whisper. It's been so long since I've spoken, let alone this much; I haven't said my name once during my stay here, so it's a strange feeling.

_______

After that day, Simon took me in, cleaned my wounds and bandaged them, gave me a hot meal to eat, and a room to rest in.

He unofficially adopted me after a year, explaining to me that I'm like a daughter to him, and that he want me to see him as my father. He didn't have to ask though, I've seen him as my father since the day we first met.

The first months were hard if I'm being honest, I had no idea how to act around a father figure, especially not after what happened with my actual dad. I was a lot more skittish, scared of maintaining eye contact, terrified by the slightest raise in his voice. Those behaviors began to melt away when I realized he wouldn't push me away, that he actually invited my company and tried to do things that I enjoyed - such as painting with me, or taking me into nature so I could write poems in the serene environment.

He asked me quite early on who my parents were and what happened. I was afraid that if he knew they were alive, that he would send me back to them; but I never was able to lie to him. I told him the truth about my parents, who they were, why I ran away, etc. He talked to me about it, and actually explained to me the dark history between his brother and my father.

He was empathetic towards me, explaining that he had similar feelings of displacement when he was staying with his family; it felt good having someone that could relate to me. He would reassure me during times of self-hatred, comforting me, stating that I was never the problem, that my parents should've never made me feel that way. He promised me that he will never allow them to treat me like that again.

The adoption was a quiet affair, he had documents for me falsified so that it stated I was a German citizen that he adopted out of the orphanage.

Yes, I know they were falsified, and I know all about his side of business; he told me the night beforehand what type of person he was, as well as the types of jobs he does. I'll admit, he caught me off guard since he's quite amiable, but I suppose everyone has sides that no one understands.

Some of his close friends that he works with were there to witness my adoption, they were polite and friendly as well. I had never felt more accepted in my life than I did when I was with Simo–my father, and I don't plan on ever letting go of this feeling. 

[newtthetranswriter]

Hi ! How are you ?

I'd love a match up with jjk , demon slayer and Tokyo revengers boys !

Im an ambivert on introvert side, at first im pretty shy and don't know how to talk but Very affectionative. Might not show it at first but will do and will get attached after getting to knowing you I have , im an Intp Im air-headed individual who seems to constantly wander off in thought , daydreaming and is unable to focus on anything but I think logically not emotionally, im very kind and will not hesitate to help with anything , im also really loyal and respectful towards my friends ! Im an easy going person and im chill with everything I sometimes talk with sarcasm and I don't really get people emotions but I can be really observant about little details and I love complimenting people and make their day better people say that I have very childish demeanor , I will protect my friends and will take a beating for them I tend to overthink alot if im making someone uncomfortable and other things and sometimes it lead me to mental breakdowns but I don't really show it

People always say that I'm a beauty and can be a model and I have a sweet voice, I have really good taste in fashion and always wear whatever makes me happy, I really like anime, Cosplay, books , cats , cooking, horror movies , playing video games and traveling

A/N: Hello, I hope you are having a great day. Sorry this took so long, I had covid and then I couldn’t get myself to write anything. Anyway I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate

Jujutsu Kaisen: Yuta Okkotsu

You balance each other out quite a bit

While Yuta thinks and acts with his emotions most of the time you are there to be a voice of reason

Both of you can be found just sitting together while both lost in separate day dreams and trust me the others like to make fun of you for it (Cough toge)

Yuta is extremely good with emotions in the sense that if he thinks you’re pulling back because of worry of being too much, he will do his best to reassure you that everything is fine

Expect many compliments and if you return any he will break, this boy does not know how to handle that

Yuta also enjoys just relaxing with you watching anime or playing games

Just a peaceful relationship consisting of compliments and the occasional pestering from a certain curse speech user

Demon Slayer: Kyojuro Rengoku

He may be very loud and outgoing but he needs someone who will help him relax on his few days off

Pull this man inside and make him take a break while you read a story to him

You may be more introverted but remember Rengoku will want to show you off to the other Hashira so be prepared for that

He will be giving you compliment after compliment and even if he hears people praise his fighting if you respond to a compliment with some along the lines of ‘you’re beautiful too’ he short circuits and can’t think

Don’t worry about being to much for this ball of fire cause he enjoys that you have child like side, it makes it easier to just have fun

The wonder in his eyes when he gets home from a long mission just to see you sitting in the sun off in a daydream, is just magical. He loves that you are so relaxed and carefree that you can let the world slip away for just an instant, so he won’t interrupt you, just quietly sit next to you and ask what you were thinking about when you finally notice he joined you

Tokyo Revengers: Keisuke Baji

This dude thinks exclusively with his fists so having some logical thinking would be good for him

Please for the love of toman do not let this idiot light shit on fire just because he’s hungry, make sure he only commits arson because it’s fun and not out of him being hangry

Anyway being with Keisuke means hanging out with Chifuyu alot, so congrats you get to be the brains for two idiots, just kidding it means you get two nerds to talk with when they aren’t out fighting

Expect to be dragged out to Toman meetings just so he can show off that he got such a beautiful partner, (bonus points if you flip the script and start bragging to the gang about how you got such a handsome boyfriend)

Many dates consisting of yakisoba and anime or horror movie marathons

[alphabetboyluvr]

hi holly :)

thank you for taking the time to read & respond!! i know you probably have your own load of things so it means a lot. i appreciate you <3

&girl this is your influence! i’m inspired by you!! no but seriously, i feel like asks are my opportunity to give show you the energy you give out. like i’m just reflecting a part of it back to you🫂 not sure if that makes any sense, but i always want shower you with the emotions you make me feel. even if most of them stem from delusion😂🤍

and the trip sounds so exciting!!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU & BESTIE🫶🏽 may you both create the greatest of memories on this new adventure! anticipating the debrief when you get back!!!!!!!

i’ve been well thank you for asking :) missing yoongi but what’s new. a close friend of mine is getting married soon so i’ll be traveling. it’s insane to think i’m at a point in my life where weddings are becoming more common. but i also find that it’s a blessing to experience other people’s love <3 i’m starting to accept the concept that is growing up. still want to fight it sometimes, but baby steps!!

thank you again for putting up with all my antics <3 i truly am sending you my best wishes 💌🎧

ALSO THANK U SM FOR THE HUSH UPDATE I LIVE THERE NOW BTW

it's okay!! i think im very lucky to be afforded with such kindness and so i try and get back to as much as i can (my inbox is current sitting at around 150 unanswered so i really am sorry if i haven't managed to get back to you!!). i am so grateful and appreciative <3

we are all a little bit delusional, but the happiest people always tend to be!!! so i hope it means that we all find joy in some things!

he he he if i meet and fall in love with a gorgeous aussie surfer on my travels, you guys will never hear from me again!! i shall be gone!!! like the wind!! it's a short trip but honestly I'm soooo excited to see bestie <33 we're both living away from our home country so it's gonna be so nice a reminder of home!

wild isn't it? all of my friends are settled in long-term relationships heading for marriage, and my other bestie who i was due to have a hot girl European summer with has fallen pregnant with her new boyfriend so that's certainly gonna change plans haha. i'd like the world to pause for a little bit, I'm not ready to say goodbye to our youth just yet.

thank you for checking in again! it's always lovely to hear from you. i hope that aquarius season treats you well <33

AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!

[darkpersonapeace]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by my other half @wingsofescape for this and it sounds fun! (thank you babe, you made my shitty day a little better)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28 (I had to open my ao3 and check because, oh boy, since when I write that much?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

274,269 (just found out there is a thing call "Statistics" so I don't have to count them one by one, ao3 is awesome)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly FMA! Very much Ed and Winry in different worlds but also, some cannon because FMA lives in my heart and mind, rent free, since I first watched fifteen years ago. I also wrote 2 fica for Arcane and 1 fic for The Witcher (but this one was a birthday gift)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

resting on a knife, you heavy souls - 793 kudos (Arcane)

it's called home - 312 kudos (FMA)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to! I used to answer all of them and I love love comments and discuss about fics, but since last year I am emotionally unable to reply to the amazing comments I get! Maybe someday I'll return replying comments, but right now, I am loving to write the stories and just enjoy this bit.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's mercy, my love, or I'll crumble (FMA) because it's the only time I wrote a bittersweet/angst with no happy ending story.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending? Pretty much all my fics, but if I'd to choose one, I'd say it's you drew stars around my scars because it ends with one of the best kissing scenes I ever wrote and:

Edward smirks, the light reaching his eyes. 

"I think that’s okay," He links their fingers and stares at her, his eyes shining, like the young man he has always been. "My heart has always been yours, anyway." 

or maybe war tangles the strings that binds us because there's is ANGST in there but in the end, they kind of end up together:

"You said prophecies always come to life. And the prophecy said Ed — the heir of the sun — would conquer the moon." 

Pianko hums and looks ahead. He follows her eyesight again and sees, like a secret spectator, the palpable love in front of them. 

Old Granny smiles again when Edward holds her granddaughter's hand, his fingers traveling against her cheek while Winry smiles the happiest smile Pinako has ever seen.

Pinako smiles wisely. "I think he already has." 

OR it's my canon au where Ed is a stay at home dad who ends up (unnoticed) adopting a young girl to teach her alchemy in keep your little heart warm:

"I saw you talking before, you are an alchemist, right?" The man says, pointing at Edward. "And a teacher?" 

Edward frowns for a moment, before staring at Amelia. She just raises her brows, challenging him to answer for real this time – he never does, he jests, dodges the question, leaves them talking about, but never an answer – but he just smiles, fondly at her. 

Edward takes a step closer, rubbing Amelia's head in the same fatherly way he does since she was ten. "Nah, I'm just a stay at home dad." 

So, yeah. Maybe all of them?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hmmm, sometimes. I deleted all the comments but I did receive like two or three angry comments but it was very clear they were sexist and just stupid, so I ignore them.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, boy. Oh, BOY. DO I WRITE SMUT? so so, hear me out: it wasn't my plan to write that MUCH SMUT in my life, but as it turns out, here we are. I do very much write smut. A lot of it. Almost filthy smut, some may say.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope, never did and don't think I will.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Ah... I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I translate my all the time because English is not my first language lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Mentally? All the time. @woahpip and @wingsofescape are the greatest writers in this place and they always help my write stuff.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh, boy. Definitely Edward and Winry, but I do have some others that I will never write about.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The bodyguard au prequel! I wrote ten pages of that already, I'd love to finish but I don't think I will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

None? ASDABSBJHJH kidding, okay. Maybe write from the heart? I try to make my characters, in any universe, as human as possible. More than once I find myself rethinking dialogues because "no no, that person wouldn't answer like that, that's too fast". And perhaps the ability to write smut in a tender way? I focus more on what the characters are feeling than on the act itself.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

No matter how much I try, I'll never portray exactly what I want in my stories because language is a huge barrier. I understand English and I can write but I don't feel English, it's different. And grammar mistakes? Only writing when my brain wants to? Idk, there's a bunch.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

LMAAAAAO, read the other answers, sometimes it's very easy! Sometimes it sucks because I don't feel the other language like I can feel mine (Babel Tower, I fucking hate you)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

FMA <3

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh, boy. Canon FMA Brotherhood, I'd say you drew stars around my scars. Alternative Universe? Right now, the bodyguard au, welcome to my cage, little lover

this was so FUN! <3 I'm tagging here @woahpip, @emmagency and anyone who wants to!

[ofgentleresolve]

☀ About controversial topics in roleplay. Would you say there are obvious forbidden topics in roleplay or do you think we could go as far as we want considering it's all fiction? Where do you draw the line and is this line a different one from the one in the content we consume (I'm thinking of popular shows and movies with shock values that sometimes play on morally questionable topics yet are fully accepted/watched/enjoyed by the majority).

lynnie is letting me shoot myself in the foot ( ask me anything about rp meme w/ @uroborosymphony )

send a ☀ along with a roleplay related topic to hear my thoughts on it. Ask me anything!

LYNNIE!! First of all, excellent question, it’s one i’ve thought a fair bit about recently and while it looks straightforward, I’ve found?? It can be a lot more complicated than that, so thank you for enabling me and my rambling here-

So let me just start with saying that I’m not going to police people for what they write because if i did, i’d be miserable and i’d have no energy to focus on my own writing. If i see someone writing content that makes ME uncomfortable or upset, i leave or block, it’s not that hard. just tag your posts or let people know in your rules that you don’t tag triggers and you’ll be fine. 

Okay, now with that out of the way, i think when it comes to this conversation, the worst takes on this always come from individuals who fail to like…moderate their beliefs ( for example, yes this is all for fun so you should respond to things when you feel the most inspired, but if it’s to the point that you start threads and post memes that you NEVER reply to…well makes sense if people end up dropping you ngl :/ ) like yeah writing just happy and nonharmful things would be rather dull, but also when writing something that contains sensitive content, we need to be respectful because there are people in rl that are affected by this. Fiction may not be real, but reality informs the writer and therefore the fiction written which when consumed will affect reality in turn. That being said, i assume that people who write the say, more controversial topics know that it’s fiction and it should not be practiced in real life….that’s one of the things i feel like people forget? We’re not mindless sheep who agree with and take everything we watch as actual reality.

That being said, for me whether line differs between roleplay and forms of media like say, books and tv shows really comes down to intent. what is a reason for a controversial scene to be written- is there a point to be made, an intention behind it? if written with care and thought, books and tv shows can do it, but with roleplay unfortunately a lot of times what is written is usually purely for enjoyment? Not that a story or an intention can’t be attached to a roleplay, but since roleplayer they usually write for themselves, i assume that both parties enjoy what they’re exploring and writing….so when i see someone writing say, noIn-con for example, i can’t help but give the side eye: the difference between seeing this kind of scene in prose and in a roleplay is that if it is done well in prose, there is usually an intention behind it and the characters are developed beyond that event; the same can’t always be said in a roleplay. 

I will say though, regardless of the medium, it is perfectly possible to explore dark content in a respectful manner. When you write these topics, you can portray it without coming off as voyeuristic or trauma porn. For example, with say something like s*exu*al a*ss*ault, going into explicit detail is not necessary to explore the repercussions of such an event. ( of course media in general does not do a good job of this but that’s besides the point :/ )  But whereas in prose, a writer can gloss over the event, the problem in an rp thread is that you’re supposed to immerse yourself in your character’s head/environment…and some roleplayers do so for this kind of content in the name ‘character exploration’....which full offense, i don’t buy that.  

The other hard line i also will always draw is always with historical muses, specifically wwii muses or muses that commit crimes again humanity. Rp is a practice in empathy and so to see someone humanize individuals that have committed major war crimes and human atrocities makes me kinda pissed bc it might just be history to the writer, but for a lot of people, that history still affects them and their families to this day.

[bookwyrminspiration]

(Ophelia) Hello, Bookwyrm! I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about something (it’s positive thoughts about a positive thing) is it okay if I ramble to you about it? And if you want to ramble about anything I’d be happy to listen! I’m in a very rambley mood right now and I want to take advantage of it and talk to you, it’s okay if you’re not up to it right now though! I hope you’re doing well and you are enjoying your break, emotionally I’m one of those gems that reflects light everywhere!

Ophelia! Hello! Absolutely you may ramble about whatever you feel like, I just can't promise a prompt response depending on whatever's happening irl for me. But I'd love to hear about whatever it is you're having thoughts about :)

I also love to ramble! I will not at the moment because I'm about to go do a thing, but I wanted to answer this real quick while you were in the rambly mood. But! To make up for it I will share a random recent thought that could be the beginning of a ramble!

One of my favorite book series--in like a "this is genuinely really good" way and not the "haha this is a disaster I love it" way like twilight, is the memoirs of Lady Trent by Marie Brennan, and I recently read the third book and I'm just. I'm so used to not having representation that reading stories with it, even though I know this story wouldn't be considered representation by many, always lights me up inside like. Woa! Especially when I feel like the representation is closer to me, not just any representation. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled for the mlm and wlw and trans stories and love to read them, but it's always a little bit detached because it's not like me. But reading something that's closer, even if not quite, reminds me how much representation matters not just for everyone else, but for me. Sometimes I forget I'm a part of that whole and that, while I do have lots to learn about everyone else and I should fight for others, I'm also one of the people being fought for and learned about. And I think it's pretty cool :)

Anyway, my point is you're welcome to ramble and don't need to ask for permission. I have granted it! And I may not respond immediately but that's not me ignoring you or anything, just life! Emotionally, I am buzzing very very hard right now and all golden sparks!

[jazstudios]

good morning jaz <D

thank you for responding, really. honestly wasn't expecting it, but i like to hear from you <)

i'll admit seeing your message kind of made everything feel a bit more- real? i'm not quite sure how to explain it. it's like, this whole situation still feels like a dream sometimes, but your reply essentially 'bitchslapped' me back to awareness for a bit, lol

i know my previous ask was- definitely heavy, and i'm sorry if it was too much. i likely explained it better before, but i kind of just wanted to get it out, somewhere, somone. i'm sorry you had to see that in your inbox :,v i'm aware you likely may not mind, (or perhaps you do, i'm not quite sure) but still, my apologies for dropping an ask of that nature, without much of a warning no less.

but, thank you. sincerely. thank you for your kind words. you might not think you have a way with words, but. they are your words, i don't think i could ever understate just how much they truly mean to me.

the hug art pic as well. (i'm grasping for terms, apologies lol) if i can be honest for a moment, i likely looked like a tad goofy with how much i was smiling silly at it. not even to mention how i may have gotten teary-eyed a tad by the end of reading it, but i feel that may be beside the point lol.

when i first started reading it, it was a bit unexpected to me? i never really connected or applied those words to myself so it was a bit strange to have them directed at me lol, i hope you fared better when i sent you all my previous asks lmao. though, thank you. (i hope it isn't getting repetitive with how much i've been saying it <P) i know it's rather easy to disregard others' words, but i'll try my best to take your words to heart. i promise.

i love you too, jaz. i hope your mother always gifts you apple slices, i hope you and your cousins always have fun playing roblox with each other. i hope you'll always have something you love, it has the capability to be painful (so too does everything else, of course) but i suppose it's undeniably a gift. may you never go without it <)

truthfully, i had just assumed you likely already had an inkling as to who i might be, lol. thank you for your assurance jaz, it really does mean a lot to me. maybe one day?

i'm aware it may serve no real assurance when i say this due to the- abysmal word count or just nature of my previous ask, but do trust when i say, i think i'll be alright jaz. one of the many traits i share with roaches in fact, is my indestructibility <D i'll get back up again, it's just a process to get there, lol.

should there ever be a nuclear fallout of any sort, i'll probably be able to withstand that too <D (i'm now aware this makes my previous statement sound sarcastic but this part is in jest, i swEar.) now that you- well i, mention it, i'm not entirely sure where i got the idea that roaches would survive a nuclear fallout. hm. food for thought for another day, i suppose.

i know i've already mentioned it last time, but happily i'll say it again. i'll be here as long as you are, as well. should the day come, you move on to other things and this blog rests abandoned. i'll likely still be here, just missing you a whole lot.

i'm at least happy your able to derive any sort of amusement or small joys at the little words and such i send you. that's really all i could hope for <D

i love you very much jaz. thank you once more <3

(i've only now properly read through the last ask, i offer my sincerest apologies for the nonsensical mess that is the part near the end. i hope it wasn't too uncomfortable. i'm not entirely aware what came over to me to send that, but i'll try not to repeat it in the future c,:)

You are welcome! :) you're very cool anon, I love you

Never ever forget that!