#sometimes i see people reading way too into these posts and assuming that the OP is saying they hate 'conforming' trans people

[uncanny-tranny]

On the topic of hormones, I love trans men, transmasculine people, abinary, multigender people, or whomever else who takes estrogen and trans women, transfeminine, abinary, multigender people, or whomever else who takes testosterone.

There is no "right" way to transition. You don't have to be a perfectly binary, gender conforming trans person in order to take hormones. We all have different levels of estrogen and testosterone, and that means women and nonbinary people don't have to have estrogen-dominant systems and men and nonbinary people don't have to have testosterone-dominant systems. Do what sparks joy and if it's shit, hit the bricks!

[interzoneinhabitant]

There is something that rubs me the wrong way about those sorts of posts where a trans guy shares a misdirected hateful message he received telling him something along the lines of, "You'll never be a real woman!!! You'll always be a man and you can't change that!! Even if you get a surgery it will be a gaping wound and everyone will know you're a fake!!" or whatever that was clearly sent because the bigot in question though he was transfeminine, with the OP captioning the screenshot something like "I saved this message because it is so unintentionally gender affirming haha."

On the one hand, I can sympathize. I get it, it's probably nice to have someone aggressively gender you as male, it probably is really quite affirming. I recall once getting immense gender euphoria at a customer service job I had once when a customer angrily cursed me out while continuously gendering me as female and it was pleasant to know that even someone who hated me saw me as a woman in that moment, and I imagine this is a somewhat similar feeling, though obviously different in structure. And I'm not denying that i see the humorous aspect there too, it's fun to feel smarter than people sometimes when they make ironic mistakes. On the other hand... You are just sort of broadcasting transmisogynistic hate speech as a funny joke and reminding any transfeminine people reading the post that we are the primary target of most transphobia.

You may find it unfair that I specify a transmasculine poster here, but I only say this because I have never once seen the reverse occur. I've never seen a trans woman share a humorous anecdote about having been sent hate speech that assumed she was trans man. It is always the other way around, because always the assumption will be that transsexuality means perverted men dressing in women's clothing and infiltrating woman only spaces to commit acts of sexual violence. As per usual, the hypervisibility that transfeminine people "enjoy" is a panopticon.

It's just like when people post screenshots of conservative transphobes on twitter saying things like, "Trans men are men, period. Are you #triggered?" because yes, on a surface level this is funny, but you do understand that what they're actually saying is "trans women are men" right? They aren't using the correct terminology because they don't care about that; they just want us to commit suicide. All you're doing is broadcasting hate speech and making fun of them for being inarticulate about it.

And ultimately some guys on the internet lacking tact and making me feel uncomfortable isn't the end of the world, I'm not saying that anyone who has done this should be "cancelled" or whatever, but I would like if people would think before they post things like this.

[shephar]

Saw a Genshin x Persona 5 post and thought of what Joe Ker would be like as a Genshin character.

Can be read as related to my Yusuke post or standalone, or even related to my Cyno post :3

Under the cut, as usual, duh.

About: Introduction.

"Oh! They call me Joker, sometimes, but my friends call me Akira, and I think we'll be great friends."

He's an Anemo character, surprising or unsurprisingly. I chose this because of how the Anemo Traveler and other Anemo characters can use the swirl mechanic to semi-manipulate other elements.

About: Vision.

"Mondstat's the city of Freedom, under the Anemo Archon of Freedom... Hmm. I suppose it's not too surprising I got an Anemo vision, then..."

For a weapon he uses a catalyst, due to his affinity for magic, which is abnormally high for a regular citizen of Teyvat, at least to those not from Khaenri'ah. He is from Khaenri'ah, of course, because he's just That Guy.

Aside from that, his skill has a chance to add an element to his attacks, which most people assume comes from his magic affinity, when in reality he just uses matches, ice-cubes, bottled water, dirt, or leaves. It's unknown how he does Electro-swirl...

These can be seen if you pay attention to his skill activations, but not for the Electro.

About: Swirl.

"You wanna know how I add elements to my attacks? Don't you know, a magician never reveals his secrets. Maybe I'll tell you later?"

His burst is an AoE targeting skill, which works by having each subsequent attack from any party member (even co-op) gaining 30% of their damage per hit.

If he's on a solo-run, however, his skill changes to a Hermanubis/Persona-like phantasm attacking enemies while Joker does as well. This is because, unlike Yusuke, where it's up to choice if he's from the Persona-verse, Joker definitely is.

About: Family/Home.

"My family? Hmm, well, it's just me and my sister, really, but it's been a while since I've been back to Fontaine. I wonder how she is, being called Father must be strange, huh..."

Akira is, much like Arlecchino, from Khaenri'ah and then lived in the House of the Hearth as a child. Their childhoods are this similar because they are twins. However, Akira chose to explore Teyvat after the Mother was defeated, wanting to see what the world has to offer.

He earned his Vision in an unknown way, when asking, Arlecchino only has this to say:

"My brother's Vision? Hmm, I suppose he's always had it, even when we were younger."

About: Archons.

"They're just... Regular people, or people adjacent. I don't really care all that much about them. I feel bad, really."

He's a five star character, of course, but his splash art is unnaturally bland for a five star, instead seeming more like a four star.

Of course, this is because of his affinity for not trying to stand out in Persona 5, which carried over to Genshin Impact.

About: Furina.

"I know people are readily accepting Neuvilette to be our new Archon, he's the hydro sovereign. But, I don't know, I think Furina, or Foccalors, was more... Relatable, I suppose is the term."

As with most other five stars, he also has a Character Story. It's the shortest one, really, should barely even count as a Story, it's a simple conversation with the Traveler. It changes based on friendship rankings.

After the Hangout, he just gives the Traveler a gun. A fake one, albeit a lot more advanced and realistic.

About: Stars (Unlocks at friendship rank 8)

"These stars... Oh, didn't see you there. What was I saying? Oh, it's just... These stars don't seem quite right, as if a painting. They reminded me of a friend, don't worry."

Akira's friendship rankings actually affect his combat potential. At Friendship 8, he has a chance to restore an ally's HP when lower than 10% when he's switched with them.

At Friendship 10, there's a chance he has to revive a downed ally, but this can only happen once per battle and it has only a small chance.

About: Origin (Friendship 10)

"Hmm, my origins? I guess you've ascertained that I'm not from Teyvat... Truth be told, I died. Then, I came back. It wasn't back to where I was from, sadly, but. What can you do? I've made the most of my life here. I do miss my friends, though."

And extras that may or may not be part of this AU, depending on your thoughts. Both unlock after Friendship 10.

About: Yusuke.

"I don't know how he got to Teyvat, but it's nice to know it's not just me in this world, I don't know if he has Gorokichi, but I can still hear my Personal. I hope he wasn't alone until we met again."

About: The General Mahamatra.

"He's a lot more... Intense than from when we were teammates, but it seems he remembers me, at least. He's still got Hermanubis with him. He's even the General Mahamatra."

About: You.

"Why do you want to hear my opinion? You're... you, it doesn't matter what I think, or that's how it should be. You help people, despite them leading to dead ends about your sibling, and that's a lot more selfless than I could act."

About: Relationships.

"I could never bring myself to date back in my world, and it would feel weird now. Arlecchino and I's bloodline is going to end with us, it seems, unless she finds someone. Unlikely, though."

About: Furina.

"She's cool, I can relate to pretending to be someone else to please others. *Uncomfortable laugh*. Except she was faking God, I was faking being a good friend."

That's it. Thanks for reading this garbage.

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

Brother's Keeper AU:

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How did Caleb live so long? How can he still be here after 400 years?

A: Belos wanted him to stick around and so he made it happen. As for specifics: *shrugs* your guess is as good as mine! This is something I've preferred to leave up to the readers. I will simply confirm that he isn't hiding any goop powers or OP palisman-given magical abilities. He is, for all intents and purposes, a regular human who is somehow really, really old.

Q: If Caleb is still alive, where did Hunter come from?

A: The full story here hasn't been told yet, but you may notice Caleb is missing quite a few bones...

Q: Caleb's ears are pointed! Did Belos cut them??

A: Correct

Q: Does Caleb know about the Collector/the basilisks/Belos' plans?

A: Probably! He's been Belos' sounding board for 400 years. Access to things that could "further corrupt him" or provide him a tool for escape, however, are off limits, so there are many things, like the Collector, that he's heard about but never seen for himself.

Q: Where's Flapjack/Amity/Darius/etc?

A: This is basically a canon divergence. If you haven't seen a particular character, it's safe to assume for now that they're up to whatever they were doing in canon.

Q: I don't get it. Why is Caleb insane?

A: I suggest you reread the first few story posts, my friend! You have fallen for Belos' lies.

Q: Do you have a posting schedule? When will the next part come out?

A: There is no posting schedule. I draw (mostly but not always) traditionally in my free time, for the fun of telling a cool story, and some posts are longer than others. That means the timing of the next post depends on how long it is, how much time I have, and whether or not I'm at home with access to my scanner. Sometimes this means I post quickly. Sometimes it means you'll see me next month. Sorry about that.

Just know that if I know there's going to be an extended wait, especially one where I'm not actively working on the next drawing, I will make an announcement about it. If you haven't seen an update in a while but I also haven't said anything, it's almost definitely because I'm actively chipping away at a part of the story that's taking me longer.

Q: Why do some of the story posts have a letter after the number? Are these less important than the regular story posts? Can I skip them?

A: No, I Do Not Recommend skipping them! They are just as important as the others. They have a letter on the end because they were added later and I use letters as a way to avoid renumbering everything. If you see story posts labeled something like "3, 3A, 4", they are meant to be read the same as you would if they were "3, 4, 5".

Q: Can I make art/fic/cosplay of this au?

A: Knock yourself out! If you post it somewhere, please include credit, but otherwise I don't mind, and actually love seeing what you do with it! If it's NSFW though, please keep it in appropriate spaces with proper warnings.

Q: Wait there's fic/fanart?? Can I see?

A: If you look through the tag on my blog "BK fridge gallery" you can browse any content shared with me that I've reblogged. :) People are free not to share it with me too though, and there are some I don't reblog, especially if its gorey or suggestive, so you might be able to find a bit more elsewhere under the Brother's Keeper AU name if you look for it.

You may also notice I have a featured tag called "BK Soundtrack." That's for songs that people have suggested to go with the AU. You are welcome to browse or suggest songs of your own ;)

Q: :( I sent an ask but you didn't answer. Did you get it?

A: Probably, yes. Sometimes it takes me a few days to get to it. However, if it was theorizing about future plot points, I may actually be holding onto it with plans to answer at a more appropriate time. I like to keep many of my plans for the story close to the chest, so don't be surprised if your theory ask disappears only to show up many months later when the story has progressed to a point where I can give you a more in depth answer.

[lexsnotdead]

Sometimes i forget that Delilah/Breanna aren't 100% canon to everyone bc of "ambiguous relationship" part and some people not wanting to see them as bi & lesbian

And it drives me insane

Everytime i see fic where Delilah or Breanna call each other friends while being alone (or in their own thoughts) I want to bite 😭😭 Something or someone

I sit here and think "Breanna sacrificing 10+ years or her life to save Delilah from her death AND falling on her knees for her is so friendly fr"

I'm okay with people who think that they're way too toxic or something/"Delilah can't love" but Breanna is a walking fruit basket. She radiates "gay".

~~~~~~~~

Sorry for whole essay about Bree and Del but my anonymous ass trusts that you'd understand me at least to some degree bc you ship them

Hope ur doing well, sending best wishes for the week lol

HI ANON YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF SEARCHING I DID FOR THIS. anyway. okay... deep breath... yeah, i know, it drives me insane as well. although i haven't come across a Hot Take like that in ages, most likely because i was blocking on sight for this. "not 100% canon to everyone" have we played the same game? maybe it's easy for me to say because i myself am a wlw and i KNOW yuri when i see one. it is really hard for me to imagine how can one look at the way breanna and delilah talk to each other and fail to spot the profound pinning.

• delilah saying "murderer! you can't understand what she meant to me", when you kill breanna in front of her.

• delilah saying "you're the only one i trust".

• delilah swinging her sword at you with "this is for what you did to breanna", in the last mission.

• a with in the royal conservatory saying "breanna was with delilah when you were sucking on your mother's tit. it's not a joke to them"

• breanna's surprise when she spots corvo "a man? here?!" is truly a Peak Lesbian Moment. - i could go on and on.

OHHH AND THE LETTER. THE LETTER!! it makes me lose my mind every time i read it!! whatever breanna had going on in there is more lesbian than eating pussy.

"When we can't talk, I write. There are things only you will understand. (...) If we were together, I could say more! It is as if I can see beyond the air, into another time or place. (...) Oh, Delilah, strange and beautiful whispers are carried on the breeze. I am forever grateful of being your instrument." >>> i'm madly in love with you.

how can you read this and go hmm yeah they were definitely besties! MUST EVERYTHING BE DIRECT FOR YOU PEOPLE?? sorry to disappoint, but that's not how sapphics express attraction. learn to read between the lines. because this, too, is yuri.

and the wiki page is to blame for the "ambiguous" part. BECAUSE HARVEY SMITH DIDN'T SAY "AMBIGUOUS". HE DID NOT. harvey confirmed their relationship some time back in 2016, but since then he deleted all of his tweets and we were left with no elaboration. and as for now it is almost impossible to find sources. "almost". he-he. wink. i saved that from a tumblr post god knows how long ago and couldn't find the op. if anyone knows who to credit for this, i'd be grateful.

does "i totally assumed that" equal uncertainty? maybe my non-native ass is missing something, but it all seems very clear to me.

which makes "some people not wanting to see them as bi & lesbian" part even more frustrating. they are both indisputably queer! and that being stated by the dev and not in the game itself is not an excuse to deny their sexuality and ship breanna with men.

harvey's tweet and in-game lines combined should be enough evidence to prove that delilah and breanna were, in fact, lovers, and if anyone says otherwise, it's a conscious choice to deny/ignore it for whatever reasons, not because there isn't enough evidence for their relationship. believe me, anon, i share every drop of irritation you have in double.

and "delilah can't love" is another very big topic where i could talk for hours and i would rather not make this reply any longer than it has to be. i already ranted quite a lot here haha. anyway, ty for the ask! :] i'm always happy to write mini-essays about delilah and breanna. i hope you have a great day as well!!

[toxicpineapple]

hi, I don't know if you want to tell us more about this but... I saw an old post you wrote about toxic and healthy oumota. I was curious about how you'd write them differently, if you feel like the portrayal of the ship isn't satisfying sometimes.

it's been months since i got this ask. maybe even over a year. but the reason i left it sitting was because i wasn't sure how to articulate my feelings and thoughts and i think i've formulated properly what i want to say now.

so there are two main angles people can come from when they portray oumota in a way that i personally feel is unhealthy. both have to do with reducing either kaito or kokichi's agency.

from kokichi's end, if they kind of soften/wooby kokichi, they'll make him really wimpy and weak and focus on his small bone structure or whatever. really pick on him in the narrative and have kaito charging in to be overprotective and take care of him. a lot of times also they'll have kaito kind of acting as the. what do you call that. "seme"? except in the sense that they'll really like have kaito treat kokichi like an object, often times initiating kisses or more without asking or elaborating. a lot of size play in that dynamic, where kaito will kind of take advantage of kokichi's smaller stature. but this isn't portrayed as a bad thing i need to emphasise, like, it's written as romantic and so cute when in reality it's kinda terrifying-- especially when they'll also write kaito as overprotective and aggressive towards the others who interact with kokichi. so basically you can tell that op assigned them "girl" and "boy" roles.

on kaito's end, you'll see a lot of content where kaito is really really stupid, and wrong, and kokichi is very right. a lot of stuff playing on the idea that kaito is like, a massive hypocrite or coward and everything he puts on is a facade. i don't necessarily take issue with the read that kaito's hero complex is exaggerated -- i personally feel that he projects outwards to hide an inferiority complex -- but sometimes people push it a step too far. kaito's earnest and goofy and he likes helping people, and kokichi is NOT completely correct about him. kokichi misunderstands kaito in a lot of ways. kaito's not wrong about everything and oumota should not exist for kokichi to tell kaito "your entire ideology is flawed, come join my emo band". like i think they work because they challenge each other and if you take away that dynamic on kokichi's end and just make the pairing kaito getting schooled then i'm not into it. i also don't really like this thing oumota fans will do where they won't like. let kaito have friends lol. not that i think he has to keep any particular friends, but he should have friends outside kokichi and his relationship with kokichi. otherwise he's just kinda isolated.

what i want for oumota is for them to have a really strong back and forth. they have conflicting viewpoints in such a way where both of them is correct on the issues where the other is wrong. that's COOL because it means there's mad growth potential for them while interacting. they can challenge each other to think beyond what they've always assumed and they can also cover each other's blind spots in tough situations. i like that! it's cool.

it's important to me also that they HAVE failed each other in many ways. kokichi targets kaito's biggest insecurity repeatedly and intentionally because he fundamentally misunderstands who kaito is. kaito does not understand kokichi from the get go and struggles repeatedly to see what he's really saying, even when he says it outright. there are failures. but then they still choose to work together, they find a common ground and learn to understand each other and when everything seems hopeless, they stand up together against the killing game. that makes them stronger in my eyes than two people who have always been in agreement. this is the RIGHT choice and they BOTH think so. middle ground.

so what i look for in healthy oumota is push and pull from both sides. they're both right. they're both wrong. they can mess up and hurt each other, but i want to see them BOTH apologise and take responsibility; it can't just be kaito saying it, and kokichi DOES have to change how he communicates sometimes in order for kaito to feel seen and heard. simultaneously though, i don't want kokichi to have to change who he is or stop lying just for the relationship to work. i think oumota is strong because regardless, kaito will always chase after kokichi, he will always keep falling for the jokes-- and also, because kaito is a liar in as much the same way as kokichi is. his free time events are full of tall tales just like the kind kokichi is always telling. shuichi just sees them as more benign because they're hoeric. they're silly and childish and i want kaito to see what he does and what kokichi does aren't all that different.

i want them to play together!!! banter!!! wrestle!!!! kokichi pulls pranks on kaito and kaito chases him down and tickles him. they launch into these mad stories about whatever bullshit they made up today and leave everyone else just kind of struggling to keep up. kaito wants a partner who will challenge him and always leave him trying to get the next point. kokichi wants someone who will chase him to the ends of the earth and meet his eyes when he shows who he is. they ARE each other's ideals, they ARE the best for each other.

just. you know. some people aren't really sure how to write that.

[bookofmirth]

I was wondering if you would be willing to take on an analysis of Cassian and Nesta’s relationship. I’m a sucker for romance and when I first read acosf I was so excited and happy for all the nessian although there were parts I felt so angry with Cassian because I felt were extremely unnecessary, like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration, telling her he’s shackled and not getting a decent reconciliation, to name a few. I feel like the story has this imbalance between the two characters because everyone already sees Cassian as this funny, mistreated by society, handsome huge cuddle bear in Feyre’s pov and we see Nesta as this unnecessary asshole in her pov. That, paired with Nesta’s self loathing, is why I can see why some readers are led to believe Nesta is awful to Cassian and might even go as far as agree that she needs to be worthy of him (which is why I have feelings about Mor who is an NC leader and one of her job titles is to help abused women but that’s another topic) then to read it explicitly in Nesta’s pov at the ending of acosf is what made me abandon the ship almost completely. which is a problem because we’ve agreed in previous posts just as Nesta’s pov is subjective by that same logic so is Feyre’s.

I loved reading your thoughts about Nesta and her father since that also didn’t make sense to me. I always figured Nesta’s trauma stemmed from the matriarchal side of her family and it’s helping me come to a certain understanding. I was just hoping maybe your perspective might give nessian a fresh angle I’m missing.

Hello! I will do my best. I assume we probably won't agree 100% but I am very much in the mood to lend some nuance to Nesta's character since the fandom is either intensely anti her or pro her, and both stances distort her character (and tbh some of the takes I've seen COMPLETELY missed the point of her entire character and of acosf, not to mention they are super vitriolic and antagonistic towards other people in the fandom. Calm the fuck down, y'all. No you op, just... the fandom.)

I take nessian as being a very different type of ship than any of sjm's others. Her other ships have tension that usually stops short of cruelty, but nessian are very aggressive as a couple and that energy turns antagonistic sometimes. Their dynamic is what made sjm make them mates, because Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and Cassian is not only strong enough to be with her and give it back, but he doesn't turn away from her either, when so many people in her life have stopped trying (Amren, Elain, Feyre to an extent).

I put the rest of this under the cut because it got very long!

Honestly, it confuses me when people get mad at Cassian for being mean to Nesta because that street goes both ways. They both say horrible things to each other that they know will wound, though Nesta does it first and more often. She calls him a brute and a bastard, when we know that that's one of his major insecurities. And this starts in Wings and Embers!

Her brows flattened. “Leader of the High Lord’s armies, and yet the brute remains. You cannot cow me with words, so you seek to intimidate me through your hulking size.”

Rhys, Az, and Cassian all call each other bastards on occasion but with them it's Bastard (affectionate). When Nesta calls Cassian a bastard/brute, she does it à la Beron and Eris. I honestly can't include all the times that she insults him that way. He lets it go at first, but then we know that, in his POV, this is actually an insult that gets under his skin and something he thinks about himself - much in the same way that Nesta thinks negative things about herself:

They were all staring. Cassian rolled his tensed shoulders, stretching out his wings. He’d revealed too much. Like a stupid brute, he’d let them all see too much, learn too much.

And someone else who uses that against him is Eris:

Cassian clenched his jaw. “So you’re to be my ally whether I wish it or not?” “The brute understands at last.” Cassian ignored the barb.

“It’s the ugliness of his fucking soul that riles me. I don’t care if he calls me a mongrel bastard.” Eris had called him such things today, she realized. Rage rippled through her. “It’s just that, ally or not, I hate him. He’s so slick and unruffled and … I can’t stand him.” He set down his fork and stared toward the window behind her. “Eris and his twisted word games and politics are an enemy I don’t know how to handle. Every time I meet with him, I feel like he’s got the upper hand. Like I can only catch up to him, and he sees through my every fumbling attempt at being clever. Maybe that makes me a stupid brute after all.”

And it's ironic to me that Nesta gets angry at how Eris insulted Cassian in that way, because she has done the exact same thing. So she knows that her blows are landing. In fact, that's why she does it. Nesta has identified a weakness and exploits it in order to push Cassian away, so I'm not surprised that it worked and he snaps. That's the reaction she's going for and that's the kind of behavior she needs to change because she's constantly pushing people away and then getting angry/sad when they leave.

The reason that I am emphasizing the things that Nesta has done here is not to say any of this is her fault, but that they both dish it out, and if we read the whole scenes, it usually starts with Nesta because that's just where she's at in her life right now. I dislike the arguments that because Cassian is older, he should know better or whatever, because 1) Nesta is an adult, and 2) as an Elder Millennial lol I know that age doesn't mean anything when it comes to maturity. In fact, I've lost my fucks with increasing frequency over the past few years. I know 20 year olds who are more mature than 40 year olds. It's just not that simple!

To go back to my initial point about their relationship, I think that even once the intention to harm is gone, now that some reconciliation has happened and they accept the mating bond, they will continue to be that aggressive couple. Feysand are leaders, nessian are warriors, and in the future I see elucien as co-conspirators and gwynriel as competitors. Nesta and Cassian both fight for what they care about, in the literal fighting sense, so it seems natural that that bleeds into their relationship a bit when they are still butting heads and trying to figure out how they work.

There are a couple of things you pointed out that I've noticed other people mention, so I wanted to discuss them!

like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration

I personally don't have an issue with the hike as a whole (I have another ask where I'll touch on it), but I did read this thing where Nesta passed out from dehydration as being both of their faults. Cassian just isn't paying attention, he forgets that Nesta isn't a hundreds of years old Illyrian tough guy and she *had barely gotten to the bottom of the stairs at the HoW (edit because I forgot she did that just before these shenanigans). Nesta is a grown adult, he's not her babysitter, she could have said something but instead she just suffered. (I wonder if that was also in line with her self-destructive behavior in acofas?) They're basically both being dumb here.

telling her he’s shackled

While he is doing this to hurt Nesta in that scene, all of the acotar mates thus far have said that about their mate. Lucien said it about Elain and Rhys about Feyre, though theirs were in more self-deprecating ways. To me, it just goes back to the push and pull that Nesta and Cassian have. I think the conflict in that scene is that they are essentially talking about two different things - for Cassian, Nesta rejecting the mating bond is her rejecting him. But for Nesta, the mating bond has nothing to do with Cassian and everything to do with her lost humanity. Cassian is taking her reaction personally (and why wouldn't he, when she has spent so much time picking at his insecurities?) and she is thinking of how the Cauldron and being Made affected her (and why wouldn't she, when she is still grappling with her trauma?) They are basically both thinking of themselves! And not considering how the other one feels.

and not getting a decent reconciliation

I think *fingers crossed* that we will see them in a much better place in future books. SJM said that Nesta's story will continue, so I'm just going to be optimistic here. Since the narration won't follow either of their perspectives anymore (we assume) we probably won't get an in-depth exploration of it. In fact, I was surprised when I got towards the end of acosf that I only had 30 more pages because I knew that so much still needed to happen. The end was very rushed but that's a whole different issue 😂

I am curious what you think of them after this! They aren't my favorite acotar ship; that's reserved for feysand and elucien, at least in canon. But I really love Cassian's character for his combination of strength and vulnerability, and Nesta is probably the most complex and interesting thus far, so I enjoy them from that standpoint.

[shrimpmandan]

no malice meant here but like. hey. sometimes when someone makes a joke about something publicly, it is actually not about you/the person you're imagining is the victim of the joke. when trans girls talk about eggs, they're not talking about "men who are feminine" or "men who should identify as women actually" or "men we want to pressure". like that's why people get upset or laugh at you when you equivalate the two. it's seeing someone talk about their own life experience and assuming they are talking about someone else entirely, and then getting mad at them for being so mean to that someone else. and more importantly (the motive for my call) the reason trans women are so bothered by the modern condemnation of "egg jokes" is because people condemning them (like you) are equating a joke about lived experience to an active malicious effort. like yeah are some people gonna make a joke of this genre that's in poor taste? maybe. but people attack trans women for these jokes way harder than they would anyone else for making a bad joke. it's making a mountain out of a molehill and frames all trans women as malicious, just for talking about their own experiences (as so-called eggs) in a way that may be relatable to others. a woman saying "haha liking X thing is so eggy/doing X things means you're trans!!" is simply NOT pressure to transition. it is NOT saying that men can't be feminine. it is NOT telling the reader of the joke to /do/ anything. when you see a woman making an egg joke and respond with "umm don't pressure men to transition!" you are, frankly, accusing that woman of something she is not doing, whether you meant to or not, and quieting her when she attempted to talk to a group of likeminded people about herself. It discourages other women to talk about their own lives and makes a lot of the transfemme community feel as if they must walk on egg shells if they dare crack a joke in public. even if you believe the joke was in poor taste or implies something you disagree with about gender, there is a need to meter your response according to the severity of the situation. is an egg joke, made by trans people for trans people to see, actually worth a public negative response? particularly a response that implies that trans women are manipulating, sinister people who want to convert you and laugh about it? even if someone thinks the jokes or one specific egg joke was bad, you can see how the severity of backlash to it (ie current egg discourse) might be disproportionate to the offense. how trans women might feel that they're being punished too much for something that was very obviously not meant to be taken that way. if you think egg jokes are "the same as conversion therapy" in any way at all, youre asserting that trans women have ***any*** realistic intent to "forcibly convert" men to transition. you know that's not true right? like, think about what you imply by interpreting so MANY women like this. would you assert this about trans men who make jokes about seeing signs of their transness in their past? or men who wishfully entertain the idea of an afab celebrity being trans masc? that's what these jokes are, it's really not malicious, I promise. Again sorry for dropping in here I'm not trying to be mean or angry or anything at you, just informative bc I think a lot of people really don't understand how shitty it feels to be on the other end of this. Have a good day!

Holy mother of text wall batman, but I'll try to parse this.

My biggest thing is I did not read the OP as being ABOUT jokes, or as being a joke in and of itself. Whatsoever. I was taking it as a criticism of anti-egg culture as a whole. There is a non-insignificant amount of people who do genuinely attempt to pressure GNC people into identifying in a way that they simple do not, in either direction. The long and the short of it really is just that I was not taking it as being referring to jokes or memes. I was taking the post at face value, especially since it was also directly comparing "men can be feminine" to 1-to-1 conversion therapy rhetoric, when that is extremely contextual.

Also, any trans person can participate in the harmful side of egg culture. The friend I was talking about was a cis dude being badgered by a trans man. He was outright harassed by that person actually simply for asserting that he himself did not identify as trans just for being a crossdresser. I think it's fucked up to pressure people to identify in a way that they do not, no matter who's doing it and for what ends. I don't want cis people telling me, a tranny, how to identify. We shouldn't tell cis people how to identify either. I do not think of shitty Reddit memes or trans people talking about their childhoods when I think of egg culture. I think of people I know personally who have been harassed by people who take it upon themselves to 'crack eggs', so to speak.

TL;DR: I did not interpret the post as being about what it was later (albeit rudely, not by you) clarified to be about. People seem to be taking my response (which said that it is bad to say "but men can be feminine!!!" to trans women/amab NBs) as me having an issue with Reddit trans memes about personal discovery, when that's just not what I equate egg culture with. It's also extremely condescending to act like this is coming out of a place of "oh, the evil trans women are going to convert the cissies into trannies!" when I, 1) am trans, and 2) do not associate egg culture exclusively with trans women by a landslide.

[my-strange-attraction]

Man people really do be straw-manning you and then interpreting all of your arguments in the worst faith possible and acting like that makes them So Smart And Correct. I’m sorry you gotta deal with all these bozos with zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills. Just wanna add because it’s been seriously bothering me and I don’t remember you ever bringing it up: one of the core tenets of the original op’s post that you responded to was basically ‘this identity is bad because I’m a lesbian and those people aren’t lesbians in the exact same way as me so they’re hurting the lesbian community because I don’t want to see them when they don’t share all of my experiences and (gasp!) talk about men and their relationship to men sometimes because *I* don’t want to hear about men’ and I just. Idk man if that’s what his argument boils down to its kind of a shitty argument. Even ignoring all of the terf rhetoric (which you correctly pointed out) I can’t even begin to understand why someone would want to be in a queer community where everyone fits into neat little boxes and everyone with your label experiences their orientation exactly like you. Aren’t they forgetting that the whole point of the queer community is that larger society attempted to put us in boxes we didn’t want to be in and categorize us into labels and lifestyles we didn’t want? Why would someone ever parrot the actions of our oppressors and do that to other queer people, when they know what it feels like? I can’t even fathom being that selfish and closed minded

>your argument is chock full of straight up lies�� Love how this was said in response to your rebuttal of an argument that CONTAINED ITS OWN “STRAIGHT UP LIES”!! Like pot meet kettle lol. Specifically referring to that one bit that was like “uwu bi women tried really hard on purpose to distance themselves from the lesbian community” because that is straight up not what happened!! I haven’t said anything yet but it’s been bothering me for a while and that one ask has so much fucking Audacity that I couldn’t stop myself from Pointing It Out this time. Ahistorical bullshit and they’re accusing YOU of lying. The audacity of it all I can’t

Anyway these guys are just mad that bi lesbians get more bitches than they EVER will. I heart bi lesbians I love you bi lesbians I hope y’all stay winning mwah <3

I'm assuming these are all from the same person because of the timing? If not, sorry for not doing separate responses.

Yeah, this whole thing has been pretty frustrating to be honest. In a way it's even worse than actual terfs, because these are people who are philosophically not that different than I am, and if we met in real life we probably wouldn't even know that we disagree. I mean, I do talk sometimes about label anarchy with some of my friends, but we have to be close and you have to get me in a philosophical mood. It's really frustrating to be openly disrespected as a person for one opinion that, though it does happen to be really important to me, doesn't come up in my everyday life (or, likely, theirs either).

The whole pronoun thing really got to me too. I KNOW they were just strawmanning, and I KNOW it wasn't really a valid critique of anything I said, but the suggestion that I would even consider purposely using the wrong pronouns for someone is upsetting. I don't think he even noticed before an anon pointed it out as a way to invalidate my argument. I don't think it upset him (or the anon) as much as the anon said it did. I still apologized though because I'm not going to not apologize for using the wrong pronouns.

Also I know jack shit about history because it doesn't stay in my break but yeah actually I do remember reading about that! That's crazy, I can't believe they called me a liar when they don't know their history. I mean, I don't either, but at least I'm honest about it.

Thanks so much for sending these messages! Not gonna lie, I was going a bit crazy with all this and the only anons I was getting until now have been the hate ones that I've shared and a few hate ones that I just outright deleted. I know people agree with me because I've seen the likes on my posts, but it's nice to have someone defending me as well, so thank you <3

[lettersiarrange]

Kind of surprised I have to make this post, but as a PSA, I don't agree 100% with everything I reblog

Sometimes I reblog things because I think they're an interesting perspective I hadn't considered before, but want to think more about. Sometimes I reblog things because I agree with the overall point even if I disagree with the phrasing of some things or minor points. Sometimes I reblog things I'm still making up my mind about, but that I thought added value to a conversation. Sometimes I reblog things whose ideology I align with but that take a completely different approach than I would.

I'm not going to write out a whole thesis in the tags on every post about which sentences I agree with and which I don't. I think if you've been following me for a while you know my values and what I'm about, and it's fair to assume that perspectives that show up over and over again are things I really do fully agree with. I'm never going to reblog something I fully or mostly disagree with without commentary making that clear, but if I see a post that makes a good point but that I have some more nuanced feelings about during my Mindless Scrolling Time, I might reblog it without putting on my Academic Hat and deconstructing every bit of it in my reblog. Maybe I'll bring it up to a friend irl later if I have a lot of Thoughts.

The only thing you should assume I agree with 100% without question are posts I write myself. And even then, if the post is more than a year old, I may have grown and changed some of my opinions since then.

Just wanted to put that out there because I've gotten a few asks recently that say something to the effect of "I can't believe you really think x" (referring to a post I thought had an interesting perspective I hadn't seen articulated in that way before), or "wooww, [quotes a line from a post that's referring to a specific approach I wouldn't take, but respect the right of other people to]". Like sorry but if you have an issue with the way a post is written or the choices of the person writing the post, consider taking that to the OP??

If you want to come into my askbox and start a conversation in good faith abt something, that's fine. Please do definitely tell me if you feel like I've reblogged something that's part of a broader context that doesn't seem in line with my values but that you think I probably am not aware of. Ie, I reblogged a post with terfy undertones without realizing, or I reblog something that I think is just being critical of the government but is actually contextually part of an anti-voting strategy/discourse. It's ok to say "hey I was surprised to see that on your blog, I didn't think that aligned with your values"-- maybe I'm missing context or am still figuring out how I feel and would welcome other perspectives.

But I'm not going to take responsibility for how other people phrase things or the choices they make with regards to how they live their values/politics. People coming into my askbox mad about one sentence of a post I reblogged, assuming I agree with the post 100% and would say that myself, without making an effort to educate/discuss in good faith, will be ignored.

Surprise surprise, reading something and thinking it would be valuable for other people to read too is not the same thing as endorsing the entire text uncritically by default.

If you want to know how I actually feel about something, feel free to politely ask.

[majorbaby]

some thoughts about sydney and carmy being the same character and how that impacts my feelings both positive and negative towards the syd/carmy ship. 

i’m not a sydcarmy anti like. i think ‘carmy and sydney shouldn’t date’ is kind of a watered down statement and i’m not into the notion that ‘he doesn’t deserve her’ or ‘she’s too good for him’ for a few reasons: 1. statements like this almost never take race into account. saw a lot of this when r*ylo was made canon and the prospect of f*nnr*y (which, imo f*nnr*y hopefuls were right to assume was the endgame after eps 7 and 8) was permanently shelved. i can give the benefit of the doubt when it’s gay fans shipping gay ppl together, though i’m not without my personal criticisms of that either, but like, i’m wary of the fact that there is still a lot of opposition to interracial relationships espesh when one person is black and especially especially when one person is a black woman. basically, i think you can even take ~heterophobia~ too far if you’re not aware of intersectionality.

2. good people make poor decisions all the time lmao. and i love when they do it in fiction. tickles the brain, inflames the loins yk. idt it makes sense to suggest sydney is above that when she tells us repeatedly that she fucked up multiple times and that’s how she landed in her current situation. when she’s passionate about something and when she thinks she’s doing the right thing, she’s shown to be reckless. this is something carmy notes many of her past employers said about her. so i’m not about that being the reason. 

3. carmy is basically the exact same - an essentially good person who made a bunch of poorly thought-out decisions as a result of his passion and his pain. 

point 3 is where my op on this ship goes. they’re... they’re the same guy! they’re the same girl!! they’re the same sad, hurt, tortured artist girlboy, capable of great joy and wanting to share that joy with others but stunted by their flaws, the treatment of them by others and the systems they inhabit. all to varying degrees depending on who we are talking about - which is another post. 

they’re at various points in those journeys. i think sydney realized pre-canon that she needed to take responsibility for her circumstances and find a way to make a better life for herself in the process of that she realized that her life goals of perfecting her craft and then using it to spread joy to others weren’t lost to her forever. 

carmy is just embarking upon that journey, and as fate would have it, the blueprint decides to take a job at his restaurant. i’m more interested in how they’re two sides of the same coin than i am in them hooking up - while still admitting that them hooking up could be another way of exploring how they are two sides of the same coin. 

and like, i don’t think it’s unbelievable that they could find each other and maybe a lesser show would have them do that and that could be interesting to me for those very specific reasons explained above, but i still think it’s lazy and tropey in a way that is kinda boring to me and i would straight up hate for it to happen any time soon because i wanna see them push-pull each other more in this boss-employee relationship they have. 

speaking of them being a boss and an employee i think that further proves my point about them being the same guy (gender-neutral) he is her boss but only technically because he owns the restaurant. it takes him what, three episodes to make her his right hand? “we want to change this restaurant right?... ... i will dial business, you are everything else” they have the same goals, and he makes them equals. she’s his closest ally in the restaurant, it’s them against the world, against their separate worlds and sometimes against each other (really, against themselves!)  so them getting together. kind of masturbatory of them, no? but would read a myooch masturbation fic abt them for that exact reason. 

[selectivechaos]

hi, i don't want to be rude but i noticed you tagged this flag (selectivechaos/743352871709442048) as "NOT for selective mutism", but the OP has in fact tagged it with "#selective mutism" as well as "#selectively mute" (pxppet/742955521530888193/mutismnonspeaking-awareness-flag), so I believe your tag may be incorrect. I would possibly check with OP if unsure

hey anon, when i reblogged it i was aware that reblogging that post onto an sm-related blog would be confusing so i tagged it as ‘not for sm’ bc i assumed it was a flag specific to mutism/nonspeaking people.

since nonspeaking refers to people who can’t ever speak, so i don’t think it relates to sm, where a person can speak sometimes. then again, now that i’ve re-read the post, there is a green stripe for people with ‘fluctuating levels of verbality’ which i think does represent sm.

so i guess the flag can relate to selective mutism in that umbrella way if it is a flag for ‘mutism’ the umbrella rather than one that is specific to nonspeaking people.

i guess the title of that post was just what confused me because i thought it was just for nonspeaking people (idk if there is already a flag like that but i want to see one!).

to be clear, now that i’ve re-read the post i do think you’re right. it seems to be an umbrella flag for multiple forms of verbal diversity, under which sm fits. but that’s just my interpretation so i would advise to check with op (im way too anxious to do that directly). either way it’s a really beautiful flag.

anyway there is also another flag that is specifically for selective mutism if you’re interested! i don’t know the original designer so i can’t give them credit. i did a reverse image search but couldn’t find anything :( 🌹🌹

[transthaumaturge]

Hi, I have the energy right now so I thought I might try to help a little. The post you commented on that you deemed to be hostile and unproductive? l understand why you thought you were helping by suggesting to make it more palatable, but what you actually did was criticise a Black woman on her tone on a post she made, and demanded more labor from her.

You're likely right, that white people are more likely to listen and not "switch sides" (scarily conditional allyship) if they are coddled. What I would urge you to do in the future though, is to take the knowledge you've learned and make your own "kinder" post. If you think something can be worded in a way that may have a different reception or cover different ground, don't place the onus on marginalised person you just learned from. You can just make a different type of post! And that helps with the labor of educating and fielding ignorance.

I believe your heart is definitely in the right place, I hope this helps!

Thank you for this, anon. I appreciate you taking the time to meet me where I am, so I'll take the time to respond thoughtfully.

In hindsight, I can see how my comment on that one post was read as tone policing. To clear the air, I never said anything regarding the wording causing allies to "switch sides"-- I absolutely understand that that would have unambiguously been tone policing, would not have been okay to suggest, and I made sure to say in my second comment that I was still OP's ally no matter how she worded the post.

However, my girlfriend suggested that my mistake was coming across a vent post and mistaking it for a post primarily made to educate allies. From my perspective at the time, it was an unproductive way to educate people because the wording was hostile and accusatory. From OP's perspective, a white person came onto the vent post that they made as a black trans person and criticized it for not being more diplomatic. Of course she took offense, I would too if someone misread an angry vent post I made about one of my communities as an unproductive attempt to bridge boundaries. It just wasn't what the post was meant for.

I think I'll take your suggestion and make my own post to educate other allies on the topic. I also already took the time to remove the tag #sayhername from a post it didn't belong on after reading OP's post, regardless of the negative responses I got in the comments section and the fact that someone sent me an antisemitic slur on anon immediately afterwards. My allyship is not conditional. Thank you again for not assuming I was in the comments of that post to cause problems. I'm trying my best, but sometimes I make mistakes.

[serotoninsuggestion]

hi! I really ❤️❤️ your blog 😍 I read your last post about big joys and small joys, and do you have any advice on how to balance, like wanting to succeed in life and ambition or whatever versus being content and appreciative of the small joys you have right now? is ambition worthless? Do you have to choose between a simple and nice life, and conventional success? Can you have both? im a little lost right now, bc this world is so complicated and idk what to do :( (sorry for the long ask)

thank you so much 💕💖💓

it is genuinely complicated so don't worry. everyone's bound to feel conflicted about this because there's so much constant pressure on us to achieve, work, make stuff, have a family, make a legacy etc etc, rebelling against that and thinking "nah i'm good here just eating my toast and chilling with my cat" feels totally unnatural

the thing is, the more you idolise and fantasise about those markers of success and think "THAT'S when i'll be happy, right now i'm just on my way but JUST WAIT till i get there", a) you're not being realistic about the possibility that you'll get the job/family/house/award/skinniness/relationship and still not be 100% happy all of the time, and b) you're likely to doubt or not understand celebs who seemingly have the Dream Life but still say they're suffering

i wouldn't ever say ambition is worthless. but it is something i struggle with - ever since my dad got cancer when i was 14 and during his treatment my uncle died weeks before retirement, i've been intensely aware that life is short and that you don't always get the things you plan for. that, along with still figuring out whether or not i might be asexual and not having a clue what career field i'd prefer, has meant that it feels easier for me to "aimlessly wander" through life focusing on short term goals and convincing myself i don't need the "big picture" stuff everyone else seems to want. and maybe that's less of a philosophy and more of a weakness and a fear.

there's obviously a careful line to draw and i don't want to trip up into "money can't buy happiness" thinking because that's not what this is - of course there's a benchmark of shelter and food security and financial stability before you can start saying "i don't need anything else"

i guess it's just a way of steering your mind away from all-or-nothing, future-facing thinking. of shifting the way you value your "ordinary life" so that you don't dismiss all the lovely experiences you're having right now as just "build up" to something bigger and better in the future. i think that no matter where you are now and who you will become later, life will always just be made up of little moments of happiness mixed in with some bad stuff. it's not necessarily "everything that society values and encourages you to work towards means nothing!! spoiler alert, it won't make you happy it'll actually make you miserable!!" because of course kids make people happy, nice apartments make people happy, seeing the sea makes people happy. it's just that, as a way of being kinder to yourself, it might be nicer to frame those goals as "huh, i reckon that might be nice and so i'll work towards it" but also "it's fine if it doesn't work out, something else will, and in the meantime look at what i've got"

[treba-neco-napise]

#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

op, thank you. i really needed this.

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[gerardpilled]

I honestly haven’t seen any weird posting? What are these weird posts??

I don't think that post was meant as a call out of a specific post or person and I'm not gonna find one to link here. I think people are just emotional over what it meant to them to see Gerard on stage in the dress and post in ways I feel is better left to private discussion or personal reflection. I do think I'm definitely guilty of this sometimes.

Though, in general, I think it's been going on for years on and off in waves. A lot of times this manifested in frerard posting (and still does...) where instead of behavior being contributed specifically to identity, it was more the implied identity that would justify /confirm the ship. I have complex feelings towards it. Like, how the band (and specifically Gerard) has challenged gender and sexuality norms of the time has always been a major aspect of their popularity. I love that. I like having discussions about celebrities and their public image. I personally just don't think some of those should be posted publicly where people who don't understand your nuanced intentions can read it and take it at face value.

I also think a major part of this is bias going into both reading and writing a post. A lot of mcr fans are trans so it makes sense they would want concrete proof that their fave is trans and experiencing gender euphoria. I just think it has to be acknowledged going in that this is just projection. We know Gerard is gender non conforming, stated that you can use “whatever” to refer to him, and that he enjoyed being able to experiment with femininity on stage. That's about it. And in my opinion, that's as far as the public conversation should go! We as fans don't know Gerard and don't know how he felt at any point in the dress-process. We can assume he loved it because he was smiling and twirling around, but we don't know if that's gender related. I personally got emotional over the idea of this just being something people are allowed to do now, but I feel like that is more an observation of how Gerard is perceived by the audience and less how Gerard perceives himself.

Again I'm not really complaining, I'm mainly writing all this because I feel like it's an interesting discussion to be had! I do think people go too far sometimes. If I see a post I think is over-stepping I usually just ignore it and contribute it to OP's excitement. Personally I get more annoyed by any kind of post that delivers convenient truths as facts. Like, the cuts on Gerard's legs being from shaving. We don't know that. Basically any Frerard reading of lyrics. The post from the fashion designer saying "His/their music". That could just be her talking about the band's music. I'm not saying I want it to mean that, I just think this is how people get disappointed later down the line. (Also not denying use of he/they, I just think using this specific post as proof of an irl using they is risky)

Again I think there's a way to post about these things that isn't going too far. Although a lot of this is still a huge problem with Frerard posts, I do like that the general vibe has turned to joking about it rather than making serious think pieces. Maybe it's just because I like finding humor in stuff.