#sometimes i scream rlly loud and my mom yells at me

[teensytyler]

Sometimes I force myself to not like things because I genuinely like them so much it hurts and I make myself so overwhelmed with excitement

[urbestestwindgod]

okokokok :33

-since where i live there is like four months of the year where the wind isnt smacking everyone around (my mom got into an accident once soley on the wind force alone!) we have a joke that hes rlly bad at personal space, like you take two steps back from him and he takes three steps towards you

-i once saw that a symbol of his was a harp somewhere which i dont have the time to fact check but i think the idea of him learning the harp to play to help his winions sleep is rlly cute

-definitely projecting here but a “ruins the holiday” part of the family as in something will happen and he’ll cry and it causes that small uproar of everyone whose older being like “youre ruining it for everyone :/“

-randomly based on vibes but doesnt like being interrupted—like “i was speaking.” staring at you like you just said something awful to him—spent way to long being talked over and is sick of it

-OK SO IDN WHAT IT IS OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE EVERY WINTER THAT THE WIND BLOWS THROUGH THAT WAKES ME UP AT NIGHT SOUNDING LIKE EITHER SCREAMING OR A KAZOO——buuuutttt, can now safely hc aeolus plays kazoo and yells sometimes instead of just actually making wind as usual for either the sillies, venting his frustrations, or laziness

-cries easily and very intensely—sobs heard all around olympus and aeolia, also yells a lot when upset, then complains about his throat hurting when hes calmed down as if he didnt just banshee scream loud enough to reverberate off of tartarus back to the heavens

-smaller than most of the gods and acts way more childishly and constantly having to defend that hes not to try and get some of the respect hes denied for being perceived as a whining little kid

-the lotus eaters are winions on lotus which has led me to believe he was the one to introduce them—would mellow out on lotus with hermes or apollo probably

-while the winions dont need to be babied sometimes he likes taking care of them like theyre infants for fun—like how a kid takes care of a baby doll but with those silly little creatures instead for comfort

-very embarrassing to be around because he is loud and unaware of that and annoying /pos and just too silly—many such cases, many such cases

-loves fire and has a fireplace hes obsessed with tending too, also loves candles

and more but i have to go to the store with my family and to see my cousins soccor game :3

It's bullying Aeolus hours!!

Did anyone else thought about how lonely Aeolus is on his island? I'm going to assume that he's mentally young and that he naturally needs people around him to develop. But there's no one. No playmates. Only some sailors here and there asking him for wind. Nothing but loneliness, so he ended up creating Winnions from clouds to have some friends (and avoid going insane).

[undermattsun-archive]

ushijima x fem!reader x kita | w.c 1.2k

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a/n: omg ok so here’s my fic for the super cool + epic collab for my server ;)) i’m rlly nervous cus i’ve never written a. fic like this so pls don’t be mean!!!! but like pls leave a comment below <333 also don’t forget to follow me (or i’ll BITE U jk xD) omg omg ok and don’t forget to check out the other fics for this super epic hot collab <33333 right here kidnapped by hq !!!!!!

warnings: inane rambling, i literally did not proofread this i would take breaks and start again without checking what i wrote last so it’s defs not coherent

I was just ur every day kind of girl. Nothing special to anyone...not ev en myself. All i knew was wake up, brush my hair (and teeth obvi!!)  and go out and go to university and to my part time job as a waitress ina  diner where not a lot of people would go to. Anway today was one of those boring days, i woke up with my alarm blaring at 6:00 am because i have a class at 8:00 am… it’s my least favorite one too. But yeah so i got up super early and made myself apple cinnamon brown sugar oatmeal and black coffee bc i’m also kinda broke bc i ran away from home bc my parents were those snobby rich people and i didn’t wanty end up like that ya know? i put on a really simple outfit bc i was feeling lazy since i woke up late!

(we need to bring back sillly bandz! they r so much fun!!) 

So i was walking to my early 8 oclock class all the way on the otherside of campus when suddenly ther e was a frisbee flying right at my face! I tried to dodge it but it still hit me right in the nose and i screamed so loud i didnt hear anything else but me screaming in really loud pain. 

“Are u ok??” i grab my nose in pain but it doesnt rlly feel broken or bleeding so i open my eyes that i didnt evern realized that i had close to see rlly gold eyes staring down at me. I scrunch up my eyebrows bc im confused bc he’s wearing overalls and a straw hat? Did i hit my head or something and am now seeing things?

“I’m ok do i know u?” i ask.. despite him looking weird in his farmer outfit he looked familiar so i had to ask.

“Sometimes i go to the diner u work at after im done at the farm bc there are good mochi waffles (a/n omg wait do they serve mochi waffles at dinners? I’ve only had it from  bakery xD)” he says with a really cool tone. I nod my head bc it makes sense. Before i can say thank you to him for asking how i am doing he grab my hand “please marry meand my cofarmer” 

“W-w-w-what??????” i yell my heart is pounding bc even though he is really super pretty i don’t eevn remember him ever being at the diner and like i remember a lot of my customers faces bc a lot of them come back a lot. 

“Marry us we will make u super happy pls it was love at first sight.” he says confidendtly (sp?) as he holds my hand tighter and tighter.

“I-i-i-i-i-i don’t even know ur name???” i whisper softly under my breath, “HOW can i marry u???”

“Shinsuke…..” a deep voice goes off behind me and i pull my hand out of his hand to look behind me, a big big BIG man stands there also wearing overalls and a straw hat and also a single wheat hanging from his kissable lips.

“Wakatoshi i have found the perfect housewife for us,, i have asked her to marry us.”

“But i’m just a normal girl from a normal world, how can i possible be apart of the world the two of you have made in the farm world?” the offer was amazing, the life of a housewife for these two perfect men that i’ve met by chance.

“She doesn’t havea choice the wedding is tonight ur marrying us.” the man who was called wakatoshi says with a very serious voice and facial expression. before i can ask hes suddenly pulling me to my feet and dragging me away.

“i have class!!” i say in protest as he continues to pull me towards a green tractor.

“you don’t need education…do you know how to sweep and cook eggs? and maybe make butter?” shinsuke asks following behind as wakatoshi pulls me onto the tractor.

“of course i can make eggs! but why butter?”

“we live on a farm darlin’ ya gotta know how to make butter.” shinsuke says and i nod my head. it makes sense.

“i can’t just leave my life behind tho i’ve gotten this far all by myself” i sigh even tho i’m comfortably sitting in wakatoshis lap i can’t let myself fall victim to their charms!!! i’m independent !!!

“give it up already your ours now…..” wakatoshi says seriously. i pout. he can’t just talk to me like that. i’m not a kid! i go to unverisity and have a job!!! 

“it’s too late ur already wearing the engagement ring” i look down at my hand and gasp to see a beautiful ring on my finger.

“this cant be real?” i shake my head my head.

“we already have your dress and the venue ready.”

“what?” the big grrrn tractor pulls up to a really pretty outdoor wedding venue. my jaw drops to see my entire family, even my parents waiting.

“go in there” wakatoshi points at a tent and i nod. i walk over and am immediately being changed by two guys who look the same?

“don’t worry we r gay.”

“and twins.”

“but not gay for each other bc that’d be illegal or something  and the author would get Cancelled™” it makes sense. i turn and look in the mirror and i gasp. i look beautiful. i may be an average girl but in this moment my velvet chestnut locks are curled to perfect perfection and the makeup isn’t too much or too little. these gay twins sure worked their magic!

i step out of the tent and look down the aisle to see my two farmer husbands looking handsome as ever (here’s what we look like teehee xD i know we look super cute!!) 

“y/n, im sorry me and ur moms bitchy richness made u run away but please let me walk u down the aisle on ur wedding day.”

“hello my name is agayshi and i am also gay, and here to officiate your wedding.”

“wait ur gay too?”

“yeah i’m married to that guy over there in the wacky inflatable cars salesman suit but we’re both respectively fucjing one of those gay twins. any way. do you y/n y/m/n y/l/n take shinsuke canonical rice farmer and ushijima farmer au to be your lawfully wedded husbands?”

“i-“ i look between the two men. my dream wedding. my dream men. i look around at all my friends and family. i nod.

“yeah i do.”

“congrats you may kiss the bride” at the same time wakatoshi and shinsuke grab my head and manage to mash all 3 of our mouths together.

i’m just so happy.

….or so i thought.

i woke up, it all turned out to be a dream </3

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(a/n: hey everyone sorry for the sad ending but like...r there rlly happy endings in real life?? soz i just think we need to get more realistic w our fanfics </3)

like. comment. subscribe for more awesomesauce fics like this ;) !!! 

[blossom-hwa]

family restaurant cook!reader with childhood friend haknyeon who absolutely LOVES their cooking

class is over I don’t have to worry about stats until thursday so HERE WE GO

your and hak’s parents are old friends who live in a small town together and even though it’s small it’s v comfortable and sweet and literally there were only two ways you + hak could have turned out: best friends or enemies and luckily enough for your parents it was the first and so yeah! your parents run a little family restaurant so you’ve basically been cooking n shit since you were a kid and hak’s dad or smth has a nearby farm while his mom works in the town and it’s rlly cute bc the farm is a little far away from the town so after school hak will come to the restaurant with you and your parents will feed the two of you some snacks or whatever and you’ll do your homework and then later hak’s mom will come over and drive hak home  :) and yeah both of your parents get a headache from all your yelling but like it’s worse than having their kids be absolute enemies so who’s complaining

so this like continues as you two grow older, even though you + hak start attending after school activities instead of going right to the restaurant after school you both always meet up outside the school gates or one of you will go to the restaurant before the other and wait around there because?? it’s tradition?? like sometimes maybe your other friends will be like oh do you want to come over and do something and unless it’s planned out in advance you’re like sorry no i’m going to the restaurant with hak and vice versa and literally everyone is CONVINCED you two are in love but both of you are absolutely oblivious and?? so what if you have little fights in the back of the kitchen (not food fights bc your parents would beat your ass for wasting food) but like. hak will throw an onion at you and then you throw a potato back and he’ll threaten to bring his pig over and decimate the place and you point out he’d have no food then and then he’s like ur right ur right and you both cackle and everyone in the restaurant (customers + parents) are like. how are you not DATING yet

it doesn’t even cross your mind to date until people start pairing off in high school and suddenly everyone’s got a partner or whatever and it feels weird but like?? you and hak just make a deal to stay single together and if you make it to thirty without getting married you two will just marry each other or whatever (hak pressures you into this just bc he wants your cooking and you point that out but he’s just like. well you’re not wrong but also you get my sunny personality and beautiful disposition so are you complaining? and no you’re not so you agree) and when hak tells his friends this they’re just like. DUDE YOU’RE SO IN LOVE ASK THEM OUT and hak is like we’re just friends!! just friends now i gotta go help y/n at the restaurant (aka eat all the food while you try to cook) and they’re just like GOD HELP YOUR OBLIVIOUS ASSES

but honestly dating and love is inevitable at some undetermined point like. you’re cooking and hak is stealing meat from the pan and you’re yelling at him that it’s unsanitary + he’s going to burn himself if he touches the stove and he’s just grinning and eating more and he says some shit like ‘your food is the best though i can’t stop’ and yeah idek but in that moment you’re like. oh my GOD i’m in love with this stupid piece of shit motherfucker who’s only around for my food and likes to let his pig loose whenever i visit the farm what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK and hak has come to a similar realization when he calms down and lets you cook and just watches you doing your thing with the most concentrated expression and he’s like HECK MY FRIENDS WERE RIGHT I’M IN LOVE

anyway

hak is sleeping over at your house for the night bc reasons idk maybe his mom and dad are going out of town for an anniversary or smth equally cheesy (both you and hak fake vomit even though they’ve done this every year) and yeah hak is definitely old enough to stay on the farm alone but he’s like! i can reach school easier from the restaurant pls let me stay over PLEASE and we all know it’s not bc of school or anything it’s bc you two don’t want to mess up your ~traditions~ and your parents are anything but oblivious (even though you two are) so they’re like okay cool please get together and date while you’re at it and it’s like midnight and you + hak are in the restaurant doing homework and hak is complaining about work and begging you to cook and you’re like it’s MIDNIGHT we shouldn’t eat at MIDNIGHT and he’s like??? why the fuck not???? and you’re just like jfc if you want food so much what will you do for it

and IT’S MIDNIGHT AND BOTH OF YOU ARE SLEEPY AND TIRED AND HUNGRY SO WHAT THE FUCK ELSE CAN HAK SAY BUT ‘I’LL KISS YOU IF YOU COOK FOR ME’ 

you fall off the chair and your books just drop to the floor and hak’s like. oh my god i really just said that and he’s in half a mind to just RUN OUT THE DOOR AND BACK TO HIS FARM but you’re like. are u telling the truth and he just kinda nods and you’re like WELL I’M GONNA COLLECT MY FUCKING KISS BEFORE I COOK JUST SO I MAKE SURE YOU’RE NOT LYING TO ME

weird way to get together but that night you wake your parents up with the noise in the kitchen bc you and hak alternate between begging for more kisses and fucking stuff up on the stove and you’re both like. oh heck sorry and your parents just look at each other like. what idiots did we raise at least they’re together now and holy shit it’s just really fucking cute bc hak is the definition of a gentleman when he isn’t being a little shit so it’s all hand holding and flowers n shit meanwhile you cook and feed him in the back of the restaurant (which doesn’t stop him from still trying to steal food but you’ve gotten p good at defending the stove from his grabby hands) and everyone wants to throw up bc you’re such a stupidly cute couple (like?? childhood best friends to lovers that EVERYONE has seen coming??? how is that NOT stupidly cute) and yeah it’s just great

hak burns himself on the stove trying to steal food and you almost just leave him to nurse the burn on his own but he starts fake-crying loud enough for the customers (who are all regulars and have literally watched you two grow up together, they’re your biggest shippers) to hear so you bandage up his stupid finger and feed him when he insists he can’t do it himself bc he’s ~injured~

the old couple who runs the candy shop down the street gives you two couple discounts every time you go in bc “you remind us so much of ourselves” and it’s cringe but sweet and you/hak love them

you promised to get married at age thirty if you were still single but voila you’re definitely not single so you get married before then and half the town shows up and everyone’s screaming about how they all saw it coming and the wedding’s a mess and you feed hak but he also feeds you and then you kiss and you can taste cake on his lips

and that’s how it goes

[iicytodoroki]

school trips; shirabu kenjirou (2/2)

a/n: this was very very cheesy and long overdue, also i glazed over this so it’s unedited for now, but i rlly wanted to post this and check in for errors later

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genre: fluff, fem. pov, very very cheesy ending

wc: 1210

summary: your years at shiratorizawa academy were coming to an end, as celebration the school is sending the promoting class a full day at tkyo sea! but you got lost when you didn't want to ride an intensely fast roller coaster with your friends.

･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. 

Part 1 || Part 2 (here)

In his head, Shirabu was thinking of a way to possibly uhhh make an “action” to show his thoughts. Maybe by holding your hand or comforting you  after the intensely fast-paced ride. But all throughout the suspenseful incline, through the loops and grand waves at the end of the water ride, you were screaming your head off in thrill. Arms up in the arm through the steep drops. Unknowingly to you, your companion was slightly wide-eyed unforeseen heights this ride goes through.

Walking through the excitement you yelled in excitement, “Oh my gosh Shirabu!! That was soooo much fun!!”

Turning around you had this pearly grin with rosy cheeks. Taking both his hands into yours, staring right at him.

“Did ya like it??”

Almost in a trance-like state, he was only able to stutter some uh’s and um’s. Trying to get his mind off of your sun-kissed look. Glowing from within, the sparkles in your (e/c) eyes, and disheveled hair from the wind gliding through it. The pure happiness you reflected just struck the coffee-colored haired guy.

It was the confused blinking and slight furrow of your brows that brought him back to the ground.

“Uh yeah, it was...sorta fun…” contrary to what he said, you saw the peek of a smile as he looked away from you (with obvious pink tips on his ears)

Assuming he was referring his enjoyment to the ride, you both decided to wait for Kawanishi to get off from the single-user ride. On the metal benches, you just glazed over your phone to see if you had any messages from your previous group.

None.

Quietly sighing, Shirabu deduced what was the issue.

“Hey, it’s no use trying to get through them. They probably assumed you found another group and went on their day, or…(more quietly) they’re not the best type of friends,” he said the last part hoping you didn’t hear.

But you did of course. When it came to him, you always zeroed in, in what he said in class or here. You didn’t know why, well you have an idea, but you didn’t want to think too deeply about that because you just wanted to savor today. Thinking this will be the last you’ll ever be close to him.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. To be honest, they weren’t very inclusive anyways. Sometimes not telling me their plans for the weekend…” you replied.

As you said this, Shirabu noticed the hints of hurt etched in your voice. Without thinking, he reached for your hand and lightly squeezed in comfort.

With a small smile he softly said, “Well they missed out on hanging out with a very beautiful person.”

Beautiful?? HUH?!?

Before your shock kicked in, you both turned your heads over to Kawanishi calling you guys over as he jogged, hand waving above his damp hair.

“Hey guys! What did I miss?” He obviously saw what just happened. That’s what he was waiting for as he hid behind the corner.

Seeing as the sun was setting after going to other rides, you three decided to grab dinner. Kawanishi, the devising friend he is, suggested to eat on the balcony of a restaurant near where the Fantas!a show will be held, since it’ll be crowded; and eating dinner before or after the show will be hectic since they also need to leave early to go to the buses.

Walking in-between the two volleyball players, you spotted a two-story restaurant with a balcony facing the castle. As a bonus, it was a New Orleans style, so you could just imagine the candle lit views while eating dinner.

Dusk was fast approaching, crowds below were rushing to be as close as possible to see the firework and water show. Luckily you guys were up-top with a clear view, and warm food to nibble on.

To lengthen your stay, you guys ate slower and chat about plans after the Academy. Come to find out, all three of you were going to Shiratorizawa High, and the two were scouted by Coach Washijo to play on the team.

Seeing you had an interest, Shirabu started telling you stories and how volleyball works. While a certain honey-haired fella saw the fast-approaching opportunity.

“Oh wow!! That’s so cool!! I wished I watched your games more! It sounds so intense and interesting,” you fawned over.

“W-well you should,” Shirabu blushed.

Oh.

Kawanishi knew.

He was going to say it knowing the implications.

“You should come to our matches when school starts,” he looked away, “and maybe come to my practices…”

(MY PRACTICES?? YES KENJIROU!! SAY IT ALREADY!) Kawanishi thought.

As silence settled over the table, Kawanishi peeked at your visage only to see the same flourishing colors of red from your neck, up. He could only just smirk at himself at how close they were.

“U-uh, yeah, um I’d really like to see you practice Shirabu…”

Looking up he saw you in a cute frazzled state. He knew that you knew what he was implying. And to see this reaction just gave him an idea, a hint that you just might also--

“...Kenjirou. You can call me Kenjirou, especially if you’re going to come to my practices as...,” he said with growing confidence.

Oh my gosh oh my gosh what does this mean??? Crap Y/N say something!!!

Before you could stutter a reply you both whipped your heads to see the onyx skies were painted in booming colors of reds, gold, blues, and an array of colors dissolving in the air.

In awe of the firework show and curious of the water show with holographs in reflection, you mindlessly stood up to get a closer look. The groans of Shirabu’s chair were drowned in the lod music and thunderous booms.

Unbeknownst to both of them Kawanishi stood up to step back a bit, both persons in frame.

After a few moments of gazing, Shirabu turned to the right to see your glossy eyes immense with excitement, a grin so filled with joy that he himself couldn’t stop smiling.

I think I really do…

“Call me Kenjirou, if you’re going to my practices as my girlfriend,” He said loud and clear against your left ear.

Mouth and eyes wide in shock at what he said, “Wait...you want me t-to be your g-girlfriend..?”

He gave you a childish smile before saying, “Well yeah, I realized that I really like you soo...will you be my girlfriend?”

Astounded at what he said you grinned, quickly nodding your head up-and-down, “Yes! Yes! I like you too Kenjirou!”

Overwhelmed in happiness and thrilled he took on the surge of brief confidence to ask you, he grabbed your face in both his hands to meet your soft lips. Surprised at the sudden action, you could only melt afterwards, bringing yourself closer to kiss him back deeper. In celebration of your new relationship, the orchestral music was at their grand finale along with the dazzling bursts of a castle in the sky in glittering gold and pink.

At the now settling sounds you both clearly heard a click, click, click. All to see a proud mom Kawanishi with his found in hand.

“I always knew you guys had a thing for each other.”

[benhardyisdaddy]

my little secret - part 1

MASTERLIST 

(hello i just wanna make one thing very clear: i do not i REPEAT i do NOT CONDONE CHEATING WHATSOEVER. FOR ANY REASON. IDC WHAT IT IS. ITS NOT CUTE OR ROMANTIC. ITS HORRIBLE. I ONLY WROTE THIS BECAUSE ITS ANGST AND BECAUSE SOMEONE SUBMITTED IT TO ME. I AM AGAINST CHEATING. just had to make that clear lol. i feel like this isn’t my best work, but ive had writers block rlly bad so IM SORRY OKAY i feel like its rlly rushed so i apologize dont h8 me. i switched up the plot just a bit also)

Word Count: 2,517

WARNING: age gap (23 and 70), smut, cheating, breeding kink 

“You never listen to me!” 

“I always listen to you! You just never make yourself clear!”

“Never make myself clear!? You just don’t care!” 

“You’re such a stubborn pain in my ass!”

“You’re always a pain in my ass, Ben! It’s always about you!” 

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, fuck off!” 

You and Ben had gotten into a huge dispute over god-knows-what. The argument goes from calm, moderate voices to ear deafening screams that you know your neighbors can hear. The two of you had been arguing more than ever lately, but it’s never gotten this bad. Ben’s never told you to fuck off before and you never thought he would. You freeze when the word’s slip from his mouth and the look on his face drops when he realizes what he’s just said. 

“I didn’t mean that.” he says fast. 

You feel your eyes sting from tears that threatened to spill and they finally do. Your chin’s trembling as you turn around and storm towards your bedroom. You hear Ben behind you as he quickly follows. 

“Baby, I didn’t mean that! I’m sorry, okay? I was just upset- What are you doing?” 

You had grabbed a duffel bag from the top of your closet and are shoving clothes inside of it. You zip it up quickly and grab your purse and keys. 

“I’m doing exactly what you told me to do. I’m fucking off.” 

Ben's eyes crinkle as he closes them out of frustration. He rakes a hand through his hair as he follows you towards your front door. 

“I didn’t mean that, y/n! Don’t go! Let’s just talk, babe. I’m sorry.” 

You turn around fast as you slide your phone in your pocket. Your eyebrows are knitted together as you stare at him with fire in your eyes. 

“You’re always sorry, Ben!” you say loudly. 

His face falls as he stares at you with cloudy eyes. 

“I’m going to my moms.” you say before slamming the door in his face. 

You don’t stop walking until you’re in your car and driving down the road. You can’t go to your moms. It’s two in the morning and she has to be at work at six. You couldn’t wake her up. You pull over on the side of the road and scream loudly as you punch the steering wheel. You were angry at everything and everyone, especially Ben. You slam your fists into the steering wheel a few more times and stop out of breath. You lean back against your seat and take in a deep breath. You need a drink and you know just the place to go to. 

***

You pull up to your favorite little hole-in-the-wall bar that’s open 24/7. It’s tiny, but packed. You’re best friend is the owner of the place so you know you can get a good seat in the front. You hurry out of your car and inside. Smoke fills the place as loud heavy metal blares everywhere. You make your way to the front and spot an open seat. You quickly fill it and spot your best friend Cassie. She walks up with a sad smile on her face as she realizes the look on yours. 

“Ben?” she asks. 

You just nod as she pours you a shot and slides it in front of you. You gulp it down fast as another is placed before you. 

“He told me to fuck off.” you tell her as you swallow the drink fast.

She pours you another as her face goes shocked. 

“What!?” 

“But, of course he didn’t mean it and he was sorry.” 

You drink it down as you hear someone yelling Cassie’s name. 

“Here,” she says getting you another drink. “Let me go deal with this and we’ll finish this conversation, okay?” 

She walks away and you’re left alone with your sorrows. You’re staring down at your now empty glass as someone speaks up. 

“Men are idiots sometimes.” 

You look over and spot an almost too familiar face. He has a drink in his hand with a smile on his face. He was older than you, much older actually, but man, was he good looking. You spin your chair to face him all the way. 

“Sometimes?” you ask, smirking. 

He laughs and slowly nods his head. 

“Oh, alright. All the time.” 

You laugh and look at him for a second longer before squinting your eyes and cocking your head. 

“Do I know you from somewhere?” you ask, suddenly feeling the drinks starting to kick in. 

The man laughs once more and shrugs his shoulders. 

“Possibly. I’m Roger.” he says as he holds out his hand for you to shake. 

Your face falls as your eyes go wide.

“Oh my god,” you whisper as you lean in to him. “I know you! I know you, I just don’t know where from! Hold on, don’t tell me...” 

You lean back and look at him up and down, trying to figure it out. Now your drinks were really kicking in. 

“You’re a musician.” you state. 

He nods his head as he gulped the rest of the dark liquid in his glass. 

“You’re a musician and your names Rog-” you pause when it finally clicks. “You’re the drummer from Queen!” you say a little too loudly as you slur.

Roger’s eyes go wide as he puts his finger to his mouth to shush you. You laugh and look around as you cover your mouth. 

“I knew I knew you from somewhere! My boyfriend loves your band!” 

“Same boyfriend that told you to fuck off?” he asks, leaning in closer for you to hear. 

You suddenly remember and frown. You nod your head and wave over another bartender. You order another shot. 

“Make it two.” says Roger, looking at you. “And they’re on me.” 

You smile to him and feel your face turning hot. 

“So, Mr. Famous Drummer,” you say, causing him to look down and laugh. “What’s your excuse for being here all alone? You clearly know mine.” 

“Needed some alone time for myself, I suppose. Never been to this place before, but apparently it attracts good people.” 

He smiles to you and for the first time in a long time, Ben wasn’t the one on your mind. Roger was. 

“And if I might add,” he says leaning in close to you. “You should try being with an actual man one day. Not a little boy.”

Your eyes drunkenly flutter as you slowly bring your hand to Roger’s knee and very slowly run it up his thigh. He tenses up at your touch, but his eyes are dark with lust. A slight smirk appears as he looks down at your hand for a moment before back up at you. 

“Maybe I will.” you purr. 

And before you know it, you and Roger are in the back of his car as his driver takes you across town. Your mouths are clashing as you breathe heavily, your mind foggy. You can’t keep your hands off of each other the whole night. 

***

RINGRING RINGRING 

Your head is pounding as the sound of your phone blares near your ear. You squeeze your eyes closed as you squirm around and groan. You flutter them open and squint due to the bright sun beaming through the room. You bring your hand up and rub your eyes, hoping to make the blurriness disappear. You’re in mid yawn when what happened last night hits you. Your eyes shoot open as you sit up fast. 

You’re in a hotel room with your clothes scattered everywhere all around you. You bring the bed sheet up and cover yourself as you look beside you. There next to you is Roger. He’s on his back and is starting to move around a bit. You should feel guilty. You should feel horrible for what you did, but you don’t. All you can do is smile as Roger’s eyes open and he looks over to you. He sheepishly grins as he rubs his eyes. 

“You’re still here.” he says as he yawns. 

Your face falls as he says that. You look away fast and jump up from the bed as you gather your clothes. 

“Was just leaving.” you spat as you slip your jeans on and then your top. 

Roger notices your change of tone and sits up fast. 

“Wait!” he says fast. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just surprised you stayed. I don’t want you to go.” 

You turn around and he has the most sincere look on his face. You let out a breath you were holding and smile as you walk back over to him. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m just on edge right now.” 

Roger smirks as he grabs your arm and pulls you back onto the bed. You laugh as you lay on your back and look up at him. 

“Then let me help you with that.” he whispers as his hand trails over your stomach and slips under your pants. 

You bite your lip as your phone begins ringing again. You roll your eyes and grab it. Twenty two missed calls from Ben. You frown a bit, but turn it off completely. You look back to Roger and smile. 

“I could use all the help I can get.” you purr. 

***

You quietly slip your keys into your front door and open it gently. You walk inside and look around, not seeing any sign of Ben. You had left Roger’s hotel with a promise that the two of you would see each other again very soon. He’s staying in town for a while for a ‘top secret’ project he’s working on. He wasn’t allowed to tell you, but that’s okay. You like surprises. 

You close the door behind you and hear footsteps getting closer. Ben appears in front of you in the hallway. He freezes when he sees you. He slowly walks closer to you until he’s inches away. He cups your face with his hand and leans in to gently kiss you. 

“I really am sorry.” he whispers. 

You swallow hard and force yourself to smile back.

“I know.” you whisper back. 

Ben smiles widely and bites his bottom lip. 

“I have amazing news.” he says fast. 

You laugh at his wild expression as he takes a step back. 

“What is it?” 

“I got a role for a movie! I drive out to the location tomorrow for fitting and all that fun stuff!” 

He looks like a kid on Christmas morning. You couldn't help but celebrate with him. 

“Ben! That’s amazing! What movie is it?”  

“I can’t actually say anything to anyone, babe. They’re wanting it to be under the radar for a bit. But I promise that when I can, I’ll send you over the second I’m allowed to. Okay? I just can’t believe this is happening. This is huge!” he yells. 

You laugh and can’t help but bring him in for a kiss, but the whole time you’re kissing, all you can think about is Roger. 

*** 

4 Months Later

***

“Right there!” you squeal as Roger thrusts into you hard. 

You’re whining loudly as he kisses and sucks on your neck. 

“Roger!” you whine, feeling yourself starting to release. 

“I wanna cum in you.” whispers Roger in your ear. 

Him saying that makes you hit your high even faster. You squeeze your eyes closed and scream out as you grip his arm tightly. Your body convulses as pleasure fills every cell in your body. 

“Yes!” is all you can repeatedly shout. 

Roger lets out a low growl as he thrusts once more and pauses, his body jolting forward. You feel him release all inside of you and it makes you whine even louder. He jerks once more and he’s done. You both are breathing fast and hard as he rests his forehead on your shoulder. You smile to yourself as you close your eyes. 

“Amazing.” you whisper. 

Roger leans away and kisses you. 

“Like always.” 

He slips out and falls beside you utterly exhausted. 

“I have to leave in a second.” you whisper sadly. 

“No, stay with me.” 

You look over to him and smile. 

“I’m just gonna be right outside of town for a bit. You can always come see me. I’ll have my own room.” you tease. 

“I’ll take you up on that offer, love.” he mumbles. 

***

“I’m almost there. Where am I meeting you again?” 

“I told the driver where to go, don’t worry.” Ben teases. “Let’s see if you’ll recognize me.” 

“Recognize you? Why? What did they do to you?” you ask worried. 

He laughs in the phone and shakes his head. 

“Wait, I think I see you! We’re all outside!” he says fast. 

Suddenly the phone goes dead. You look up and out the window. A bunch of people are standing in front of a huge building. You’re beyond nervous as you pull up and the car stops. You jump out and make your way towards them. A man with long blonde hair is staring at you with a huge smile on his face. You squint your eyes as he walks even closer. 

“Ben!?” you call out. 

He nods his head and laughs as he wraps his arms around you and squeezes. You lean away and your eyes are wide as you gently touch the wig he’s wearing. 

“Wow.” you whisper. 

“Looks good, yeah?” he teases. “You know who I am?” he asks, backing up so you can see him fully.

“Um, someone from the 70’s?” you ask. 

“Alright, good! But who do you think it is?” 

You’re thinking for a moment as Ben looks behind you and smiles. 

“Ah, the man himself!” 

You turn around confused and your face falls. So does his. It’s Roger. 

“Roger, this is my girl, y/n. Y/n, this is the Roger Taylor.” 

The two of you stare at each other as your eyes are wide. You felt almost sick. You realize how this must look to Ben, so you snap out of it. You shake your head and bring your hand up to him. 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Taylor.” you say fast. 

Roger shakes your hand and forces a smile. 

“Please, call me Roger.” 

You smile and look away as you take a step back towards Ben. 

“Rog, the reservations are all set for tonight.” 

You look to your left as a beautiful older blonde walks up and kisses Roger. He wraps an arm around her waist and looks to you. He looks embarrassed as he smiles. 

“Sarina, this is Ben’s girlfriend, y/n.” he says, almost gagging at the word girlfriend. “Y/n, this is my wife... Sarina.” 

“Your wife.” you say a little too bluntly, causing him to look at you with a worried expression. 

You smile widely and reach your hand out to her. 

“It’s so nice to meet you.” 

“You as well!” she says sweetly. “Will you be joining us for dinner?” she asks. 

You go to tell her no, but Roger speaks up. 

“Of course she will.” he says fast. 

Yeah, you think to yourself. Of course I will. 

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[huangfilms]

Prince!Chenle

summary: you’re a member of the royal family and I didn’t know and you ran into me in the village and I completely told you off oh my god || prince!au

(A/N) o-oh my god i’m back from the dead with some prince chenle hope u enjoy (im a lil rusty so leave me some feedback Please! also,,, its not proofread haha aslkdjfhals Please Spare Me)

okay so you live in the village

your mom told you prior that you need to just walk over to your grandma’s house and drop sumn off

and to get to her house, you have to cut into the uhhh

the place where all the store stands are

u know like the market place ish

and so your holding a lot of stuff in your arms and you just walk with your eyes on the floor, watching where you step

and you lift your head up at times so you can see if you’re ever going to bump into someone

guess what 

you rlly done goofed cause you Look Up and right as you do theres this body that collides with yours

and you drop

e v e r y t h i n g

then you just stop and you get rlly pissed off

you look up rly dramatically and slowly and you meet a pair of eyes that actually look a lil scared 

(ugh poor bby chenle im rlly srry)

‘are you serious??? were you just not paying attention??? do you seriously have no coordination on where you’re going??????’

and then you let out a huff and start to pick up your things and place them back in your basket

while you do that you’re just muttering to yourself, ‘GOSH my mom is literally going to whoop me if she finds out i dropped gma’s stuff’

and then you see the guy kneel in front of you and start to help

‘um...... i can do this by myself, you can go ahead and bump into someone else now’

and he just looks at you with this expression you cant read

then he slowly gets up

‘prince chenle, we need you back at the kingdom right away, your mother is asking for you.’

and then you freeze up

p-prince ????? w-what ????????

two plus tw o equals pie ??????

then you start to panic and you hurriedly place the rest of your stuff in the basket and Run

you just Run To Your gma’s house

but you hear a soft ‘wait!’ when you run but you just Cannot

you’re SOOOOO embarrassed and when you arrive at your gma’s house your face is RED

and your ears are all flushed and your gma asks whats wrong

‘i just told off the prince because he bumped into me-’

 in your defense he rlly didn’t look like a prince (wdym chenle ALWAYS looks like a prince smh)

he was wearing .... regular clothes so he Did Not Look Like A Prince

like,,,,,, yeah i dont know LOL

but then all your grandma does is LAUGH AT YOU

whats so funny??? blease omg hes gonna Have My Head omgomgomgsdhkjah

so your grandma just looks at you like you’re overreacting and says, “chenle is a nice boy!! he comes and visits me all the time sweetie.”

and then you freeze up because-

w hat ???? let me ??? move my ??? bang real quick ???

“grandma you what”

“chenle visits me all the time??? very nice boy, you’d like him !!”

and all she does is feed you then kick you outta the house to go home before it gets too dark

when you walk back your just rlly thinking ‘.... that happened huh ...’

AND THEN !!! you hear a lil yell of ‘hey!!’

and when you schnapp your head up you see the prince waving up at you with this Look on his face ???

so you just give him a weird glance and walk slowly towards him

“listen, about earlier i am so sor-”

“it’s fine !! hope you aren’t beating urself over it too much !! have a great evening ...?”

then u tell him ur name yadda yadda then he leaves and then ur like !!! haha what just happened !!!

so you go home and just sleep on it cause you kind of just dont want to think about it HAHA

so the next morning when you wake up your mom says to go to your gma’s again

just cause your gma wants to see you .. which is kind of odd

you only see your grandma during special occasions and when you drop things off

only because school/work has been taking a lot of your time

but just for your gma,,,,, you’ll visit her and forget the responsibilities for now

you walk there with confusion on your face because,,, although your grandma loves you, she doesn’t just spring on you and ask you to come over

so youre just curious about why she wants to see you (there isnt anything wrong with it !!! its just a lil odd)

when you arrive to her cottage you see this car outside and immediately become anxious

youre just treading slowly to the door, and then you raise your hand to knock,,, but youre hesitating A LOT

so time goes by (max. of like .. 5 minutes) and the door swings open to reveal your grandma

she puts you into a bone crushing hug, and then pulls you inside

“thank you for coming dear !! i want you to formally meet someone.”

and then you get SCARED scared

so when you turn to go into the living room, you nearly SCREAM

cause on the couch is mr prince chenle and you feel like one of the guards is going to strangle u with the glare they’re giving you

in your defense, you didnt Know ............ you told off the Prince .......

“chenle sweetie, this is my sweet grandchild i was telling you about !! they did tell me recently that you recently met.”

chenle blushes when he makes eye contact but you rlly dont now why cause You Told Him Off and thats rlly all you can think about HAHA

BUT in reality chenle isnt too bothered by that cause you didn’t immediately treat him like a Prince, you treated him like a regular person (albeit a lil ... Yikes)

and he actually thinks that you are the most gorgeous being in the World !! mayhaps lil prince even has a tiny crush on you !!!

when you Formally Introduce urself to him

ur grandma hits u w that, “sweetie can u help me n chenle garden some things !!”

and then she gestures u both to follow her in her backyard

she tells the guards to make themselves feel at home and leave out like lemonade or sumn

so you and chenle are just super awkward at first cause you dont know how to break the tension

also all you can think about once again: was that u rlly told him off

but then chenle starts to laugh really loudly at a joke your grandma says and then you just-

YOU WANT TO COO !! cause even tho his laugh is Super Loud, you find it endearing that he’s just letting loose like this

he catches you staring tho and he stops and he Blushes Again and you want to !!! squish !! 

who doesnt want to squish chenle he’s literally such an angel and hes so adorable ugh i lov baby

so you both just start talking more and then by the end of the day you guys are just best buddies

you forget hes the prince too

but then u walk in to see the guards and ur all lik e... righ t...

its ok tho !! chenle is a person too !!

and honestly you guys make this a regular thing

you and chenle go to ur gmas house to garden every day or when you guys have the time

and essentially its just you guys pulling out weeds while talking about new and exciting things that happened to you recently

and your grandma just watches you guys get along and her heart is happy

cause chenle sometimes talks to her about him not making friends cause they always use him for his status

and so ur gma knows u arent like that and shes just really happy to see the two of you get along really well

days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months !! and you guys become really really close friends

some feelings develop too or .. whatever ..

but you dont acknowledge them cause youre just a person who lives in the viliage while hes a prince

chenle does though

and hes so shy about it that he blushes everytime you say his name or just smile at him

cause his heart goes !!!!!

he rlly likes you

and u rlly like him but u just dont know !!!

ye wutevr its 2018 and status rlly shouldnt matter but ur just rlly conscious about being judged and stuff

like even if u started to date him would his parents accept you

and then u snap out of ur thoughts cause chenle looks worried and you havent answered his question

haha he asked a question ???

‘you want to hang out with me tomorrow?? thats not gardening?? i-i mean its ok to say no haha i love gardening with you i just wanted to know if y-you wanted to try something new with me? i-i understand if you want to say no-’

‘chenle, sweetheart, breathe,’

and then he Blushes cause oh they just called me sweetheart and he just breathes

then you say you would love to !!! 

and ur gma is just watching the Entire Thing with the guards

with popcorn and tea

and its literally the cutest little exchange ever cause youre both just blushing and red

so when tomorrow comes

chenle meets u at ur gmas house

and so like he holds his hand out for you to take and ur just !! heart into overdrive !!!

and then !!! he takes you to this ice skating rink cause youve mentioned before that you havent been

and he rented out the whole place so people wouldnt be bothering you two

and hes just nervous and so are you but since ur dont know how to skate youre just clinging to him for dear life

and hes such a blushing mess omg

the guards are just cooing at the both of you, some even join you on the ice

and you guys are just cracking jokes and having such a good time

there was a time where one of the guards fell on their ass and u two couldnt stop laughing

then chenle falls but since youre holding onto him you fall down too oops

and so ur just kinda ... laying down on him awkwardly and your guys’ faces are so CLOSE

but then you clear your throat and then you jump off of him

it gets kind of late and the guards are just like, “hate to break this cute and adorable moment, but your momma is calling you to be home prince”

and so chenle just blushes and gets up first, then holds his hand out again to help you up

it makes you sad when he has to leave, but he drops you off at home

when he does, he walks you to your door and then he says goodbye, but before he leaves

you feel a little bold and you kiss him on the cheek !!! so cute !!! cause then hes just RED ! and hes so flustured and he just waves bye and when he gets into his car

he just clutches his chest and has this big smile on his face and hes just so in awe

and the guards are teasing him but he really Does Not Care cause you just did : THAT 

you kissed him on the cheek and hes so !!! about it

but you guys go out more often after this

and sometimes is just to hang out with your gma cause chenle has grown to love her HAHA

its become a thing where you kiss him on the cheek goodbye

wow cute

one day though, hes saying bye and hes looking away while youre about to kiss his cheek

but then he remembers he needs to tell you something

so right as your lips are about to kiss his cheek

his head turns and you two share a lil innocent peck

AND YOURE BOTH BLUSHING WOW

AND THE GUARDS ARE SO !!!! 

o-ohmy gosh im so kilig you guys

CHENLE IS SO FLUSTURED THAT HE FORGETS WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL YOU

oh right he was about to CONFESS confess but like

ur flustered too so u rush out a goodbye and you LEAVE

and chenle is just !!!! ok ill tell them tomorrow !!!!

well tomorrow comes

and you dont show up

ur gma tells him that u’ve been exhausted cause of school, theyll probs be back tomorrow

so then he comes back tomorrow

and you arent there again

and this goes on for like a week

and he just Knows ur avoiding him

but like hes so fed up because he has been Waiting for the Right Time to confess to you

and so he goes over to ur house and then knocks

you answer the door and then your eyes grow wide and then u shut the door again

but chenle pushes it open and just “WAIT”

and so you just slowly open the door

“why have you been avoiding me??”

and ur just speechless cause haha avoiding you ?? why would i do that ???

and he gives you This Look 

and then ur all like ... “OKAY !!! so ive been avoiding you .... what about it..”

and he just sighs and hes all serious and ur all !! cause chenle is barely serious alsdkf

“Listen,,, i really like you,”

you pause and you just look at him before grinning

“i really like you too chenle!!”

and he just looks Frustrated cause he thinks you arent getting it

“more than a friend way!!!”

and then you start to smile and ur all like .. “the feeling is mutual bub !”

and now HES pausing cause w-what

m-marty

but then you just hug him tightly and tell him how much you really like him !!!

and he goes !!!! oh my gosh !!!! 

then you guys are just looking at each other and you really do forget that there are other people around you and he kisses you !!! wow !!! 

please spare me ive never had my first kiss before HASKDJFHASD

BUT ANYWHO

you guys are always together now !! and he even lets you meet his parents and they immediately: love you

you basically hang around him a lot and when he says he has to do sum prince duties ur all like ... huh ... i forget ur a prince LMFOAJFH

but everything is good everything is well !!!

youre just content with what you have with chenle even tho u started off a lil rocky

you just !!! like him so much !!! life is good hehe

anway end !!! prince chenle: cutest lil headcannon but chenle is ALREADY a prince !!!

Masterlist

[vampire-core]

/post/161320161315 every single Fucking cmnc character. every single one. trust me dude (if u want!!!)

fucken hell yeah hyperfixation time

FRANCES

A: what I think realistically

tbh frances seems like the type of person where playin the piano is like. a coping mechanism for her?? like if shes stressed/angry/havin a Bad Time she either

a: plays a Sad Tune to angst

b: plays something AGGRESSIVE to get her anger out

c, a rare option: plays smth happy to take her mind off it

bc she seems like the person to Wallow in her own sadness tbh im guessin c is Rare but

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

frances wears horribly fucking clashing colors like. bright neon orange and the ugliest brown-green mixed and goes out like that in sunglasses

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

frances didnt have a good home and she got with junior to get Out of it and then he turned out to be a piece of shit and her life just spiraled Down

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes an agender lesbian with three gfs

HENRY

A: what I think realistically

tbh henry totally seems like hed learn to bake for nancy like. i know hes in-canon a horrible cook but like. imagine this sweetie taking secret baking lessons for like Forever and then he surprises nancy on her bday with like. a rlly nice homemade cake and they cry together :���)

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

henry is a clumsy-ass Shit so he breaks things like 384723897423894x and once he managed to break a vase nancy Really liked and she walked in on him Coated in glue and just. “what are you doing” “no nothing what nothing is broken” “henry the vases shards and glue are both everywhere” “everything is fine nancy”

also nancy being at the store and henry seeing a spider and screaming on the counter until she got home

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

henry living with the eternal guilt over taking the “wrong” choice even though there was no good choice because he either stayed in a place where no issues were being worked out or he left :^)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes a trans bABY AND I LOVE HIM SO FUCKIN MUCH

NANCY

A: what I think realistically

tbh i can imagine her bein in a book club but being the Shy One who never talks during meetings

also i can imagine her learning to paint and Loving It and showing henry the paintings which show what her world is like and hes like “:00!!!”

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

NANCY SPRITING AROUND IN HIGH HEELS TRYING TO CRUSH A SPIDER WHILE SHE AND HENRY BOTH FUCKING SOB BECAUSE SHE CANT MANAGE TO KILL THE SPIDER

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

nancy living with crushing guilt and abandonment issues but hiding it because she doesnt want to bother henry and she keeps randomly crying :)))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes genderfluid as FUCK and has a gf

BONUS: JUNIOR

A: what I think realistically

tbh this dude is fuckin Shitty and hes def the type of dude to have like 3 gfs at once but not an open relationship just straight-up cheating

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

in a modern au junior discovers furry culture and refuses to wear anything but a pigeon fursuit for three years straight

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he left frances with more trauma than she mayb had :))))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes a fuckin furry. let him be a FURRY MAKE HENRY BUFF AGAIN I THINK YOU MEAN MAKE JUNIOR A PIGEON AGAIN

BONUS: PATTY

A: what I think realistically

she has a Huge family and sends all of them christmas cards, and she only has one great-niece who cares enough to reply and visit and stuff and sometimes the neice brings her kids and patty fuckin loves kids and spoils em like a grandchild

also she sends christmas cards to her neighbors and invites them over for dinner weekly

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she sews and she once had an awful neighbor who was a total bitch so she bought this cheap-ass shirt, fixed it up in a day, but it looked new and beautifully made and the neighbor felt so bad and patty just. >:3c dont be a bitch

the neighbor got to keep the gift tho and was Nicer and patty was :3c

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels SO BAD that she didnt notice henry and nancy being missing sooner bc she ALWAYS wanted to be friends w them both and she loved em to bits

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes a trans lesbian and has a long-time wife :3c

KENNITH (this ones just gonna be kin shit but shhhh ;))) )

A: what I think realistically

if its not a school day and hes home alone kennith 100000% will Not change out of his pajamas and will yell at you for wearing shoes in his room dont fuckin touch him with your nasty-ass feet stephamie

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

KENNITH GETS SUPER DRUNK AND STARTS FORGETTING THINGS HE JUST DID AND GETTING REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED AS STEPH LAUGHS HER ASS OFF THREE FEET AWAY (based on my own experiences)

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

kennith has an ed he doesnt know how to deal with and doesnt even think is that Bad so hes just suffering :’))) can relate buddy

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans you cowards and in a qpp with steph

STEPH

A: what I think realistically

steph is Rlly skilled at punching and taught kennith how to punch but also if u rub her back she will Deactivate in .2 seconds so even if she acts tough she has a fuckin self-destruct button and its her back

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

STEPH AND KENNITH MAKING DIRECT EYE CONTACT AS THEY COME UP WITH INCREASINGLY BAD ALTERNATE TITLES FOR A PENIS

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

steph tends to put on a Happy Face bc she thinks kenniths problems are worse than hers, so she has no help and no clue how to deal with them and just gets worse and worse :’))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes a fuckin lesbian in a qpp with kennith you cowards and shes genderfluid

GREG

A: what I think realistically

this man has fuckin Depression my lads and anxiety and tends to self-medicate with weed even tho he Knows its prob not the best option but i mean. hes a retail worker can he afford meds? no

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

if you do Anything greg will probably stay apathetic, and he can say most things with a straight face. he enjoys making completely filthy jokes with an unwavering neutral expression and watching people crumble

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

……………tbh hed prob think he couldve done More to help kennith after he Died but never did so i can imagine hed feel. kinda guilty sdkjfhsdkf maybe my kin ass is just hopeful

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

let him have two moms you cowards (also him and kennith are boyfs dont make the rules my kin ass is GAY)

BONUS: JENNY

A: what I think realistically

….tbh they seem like the type of person who always has a sketchpad and paints a lot and is just Super artsy

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

jenny and kennith lock eyes and they can instantly feel the hatred kennith emits bc t h a t s  h i s  f p  but also they can tell he wants steph to be happy and they can SEE the STRUGGLE on his FACE and he looks kind of like an angry chihuahua

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

…..tbh i dont have anything for them

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

let them be a nonbinary lesbian who draws their gf constantly

BRI (aka kin ass two: electric bogaloo :3c)

A: what I think realistically

tbh they seem like the type of person to have a cat. in my canon it was an orange cat named sherbet B3c they love that cat to Death and show it to avery on video calls

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

bri says “rawr XD” out loud and accidentally says that to a teacher, who stands there for .3 seconds and kind of just goes with it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they dont actually die and have to live with their gf bein dead :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

they live and also so does avery and theyre happy fuck you

AVERY

A: what I think realistically

tbh she seems like the type of person to have a wide friend group but only be “close” close with like. 1-2 people??? and like she loves all of her friends but she cant maintain that many close friends

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once laughed so hard she snorted soda out of her nose during a video call

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

her last thought is of bri :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHE AND BRI ARE  H A P P Y AND ALIVE

SPOI

A: what I think realistically

they seem the type of person to like???? fuckin rag on shows while watching them, ie shout at the screen, point out plot holes etc and then say “wtf i loved it” at the end

also they throw popcorn at the screen during the movies

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they hide under nancys table and let out a vicious shriek whenever nancy accidentally kicks them

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they cause Endless Suffering and dont even care like they cant sympathize or manage to be Decent and like. they LAUGH at it and its like??? a s s h o l e

(and i have like No Empathy but i can still manage to be a nice person so?? no excuse there)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

theyre the one stealing nancys bobbins >:00

[leaughrilke]

Superbabies: I wanna know about arguments in their household! What happens when Kara and Lena fight? What about if the kids fight with the parents? What about between the kids?

oh ho ho okay (i am quite literally rubbing my hands together bc ARGUMENTS R MY SHIT)

so like??  kara and lena dont ever rlly Fight, u know??  no big blow outs, particularly after the kids come along like they bicker sometimes and have deeper arguments but there’s no big blow up bc that’s not healthy and they know it, recognize it.  the few times they’ve had a Big Fight were p early in their relationship when lena was still sort of self-sabotaging and kara was sort of doing the same tbh but then they developed the ever helpful tool of ~healthy communication~ so when they argue, it’s usually p tame

that said, they DO fight sometimes and they dont like......go out of their way to hide it??  bc like its a reality of relationships, you argue sometimes, and they want their kids to see that it happens and that you still love each other at the end of them and they want them to see how to deal with relationship issues healthily??  that’s a big thing for lena tbh, bc she had to learn it all when she was an adult, never had any reference point for what a healthy long term relationship was supposed to look like until kara, rlly, so she rlly wants their kids to know what a solid, healthy, happy relationship looks like

so it usually goes down like this: whatever small disagreements they’ve been having (usually over the same subject or maybe a series of related topics) will kind of build up and then sometimes its kara that starts it by rolling her eyes when lena starts in on it or sometimes its lena snapping at kara but eventually it Starts and it will last for days at a time sometimes bc they both think they’re right or if they know they’re wrong, they’re not willing to admit it Right Then but anyway it will last for a while (their record is three weeks, it happened right after they found out lena was pregnant with finn, it was A Mess), but like??  they still love each other??  kara still makes lena’s coffee in the mornings and lena still picks up a pint of kara’s favorite ice cream bc she saw they were out the other day and like??  tbh thats what the kids take away from it most

but yeah, so they argue in front of the kids sometimes but they never let it get ugly, always know when to say we need to step away from this and come back later, so they will and they’ll cool off and they’ll resolve whatever it is they’re dealing with

and it’s mostly just background noise for the kiddos??  like they barely notice it bc their moms dont rlly act any different when they’re in the middle of a fight, like yeah maybe they’re not as gross as usually, maybe the kiddos dont walk in on their moms making out in the kitchen, but thats like??  it??

one of maia’s friend’s parents fight a lot, like loud screaming matches, and one time maia’s staying over when they get into it and she’s so shocked?? ?  like holy shit why are they yelling at each other

uh they’re fighting??  you said your moms fight sometimes

um yeah sort of

she goes home the next day and just hugs her moms like holy shit she never realized how good she and finn and stella have it, like she can’t imagine living with screaming matches every other day

catch the rest of this under the cut bc i just realized its super long, sorry @ mobile users

NOW WHEN THE KIDDOS FIGHT WITH THEIR MOMS??  strap in friend

so each kid has their own style of arguing with their moms??  and it varies between kara and lena too like maia fights with kara one way but lena another ANYWAY

so finn isnt v loud when he’s upset??  he rlly isnt and he shies away from the term fighting even, prefers disagreement instead, so like when (on v v few occasions) he gets into an argument with his moms, its always p quiet??  and usually resolved by the end of the day tbh like he’s one of those ppl that Cannot go to bed with shit left unresolved, he has a thing abt starting every day with a clean slate (this occasionally means some long nights)

like the biggest things he ever argues with kara abt are like his willingness to cover up whatever maia’s gotten up to and the fact that he is complicit in a lot of kind of shady stuff his sisters get up to when they kind of become vigilantes and he’s had a total of maybe two arguments with lena and both of them were during and about his one rebellious phase where he broke curfew a few times and gave his moms some scares by letting his phone die bc he was feeling ~reckless~

his arguments with kara tend to last p long??  like days/weeks sometimes bc they are rlly a lot alike but in different ways??  like finn has a slightly narrowed moral compass i guess, where he can excuse what his sisters do bc theyre his sisters and they’re doing whatever it is for good reason but kara’s like??  no it’s still dangerous and not well planned and also illegal but neither of them ever yell (quite honestly kara and lena have like never yelled at their kiddos except when they’re in imminent danger??) but they dont rlly raise their voices so there’s just a lot of stony silence until someone (usually stella) sort of shoves finn’s shoulder and says you dont have to defend us, what we did was fucked up or approaches kara and is like hey, dont be angry with him

and then when he goes to apologize or she comes to him they both end up crying.  listen, they’re a soft ass family ok tears happen A Lot

the two times finn has argued with lena were both v short, happened v late at night bc she stayed up until he came home and both included the phrase (from finn) i get to be a kid too, you know and both times that final phrase made lena stop dead and just.  give up??  like god, he’s right, he’s taken on a lot of responsibility in their family, so lena just sort of gathers him up and hugs him rlly tight and is like we’ll talk about extending your curfew but please don’t ever scare your mother and i like that ever again and finn is like ???  ok???  

for sure figured he was getting grounded for weeks but instead he ended up with an extended curfew and like........one weekend of being grounded 

MAIA OH MY GOD maia fights with kara a lot when she’s older, bc she has like??  a v different moral code i guess like do no harm but take no shit kind of goes out the window, like maia’s taken this stance that the second u threaten her ppl, she’s well within her rights to beat your ass and she with lena she argues a lot during this one earlier period in her life where she gets into some bad situations and lena’s like ???  sweetheart what are you doing and maia’s sort of like GOD I CAN MAKE MY OWN CHOICES IM MATURE and lena’s trying v hard not to let it turn into a fight but, well, maia is trying v hard to turn it into a fight

so like her arguing with kara tends to happen more as maia’s an adult tbh and it sometimes escalates to full yelling bc at a certain point she becomes kara’s colleague at the deo and when she does stupid shit, she’s endangering a lot of ppl, including her siblings and her moms and herself 

meanwhile she fights with lena a lot as a teenager over stupid shit rlly like it’s not always abt deep shit but when it is it gets rlly uncomfortable bc lena hates arguing with her kids, she does, and maia’s not like finn, won’t ever get to the heart of why she’s angry at lena so it’s just??  it’s messy and bad and lena makes sure that maia’s left the house before she starts crying and maia makes sure she’s well out of the city before she starts crying and finn and stella and kara usually run damage control for them bc otherwise they’d be in this holding pattern of just sort of being like we’re okay.......for NOW and then having more and more arguments bc they never get to the heart of the matter and yeah, maia feels rlly guilty when she’s older abt how she treated lena as a teenager

and there have been times where she fights with both her moms at the same time, like there’s this period in her life (like around her sophomore/junior year of high school??) where she gets into a p bad situation that she refuses to let her moms know abt so they only see her cutting class and her grades falling and her like yelling at her siblings so they sit her down abt it and it results in several Big Arguments that end p badly and damage everyone’s trust for a little while bc now kara and lena are like??  holy shit what is she into???  and maia feels like her moms dont ~understand~ even though they legitimately would if she would just tell them whats going on and she feels like she can’t tell them so it’s a Mess for a while

stella refuses to argue with her moms.  she just Wont do it.  she rlly kind of refuses to fight with anyone she cares abt bc she can feel what they feel and that fucks with how she feels and idk it’s weird, sometimes other ppls emotions influence her or sometimes her emotions influence others.  bc of that, she tries to avoid it if she can but obviously it happens sometimes

this is her MO; she never lets it turn into a real argument, she’ll just like.....walk into room with whichever mom she’s irritated with or both if that’s the situation and just be v blunt like im angry that you wouldnt let me go out with ari last night and then she retreats before they can say anything else.  then, probably a couple hours later, she comes back and says another thing like it wasn’t fair because you let finn do the same thing and i feel like you treat me differently than him or maia and then retreats.  and then FINALLY  she’s kind of gotten a hold on her own emotions and feels like she’ll actually be able to speak with her moms without losing control and then its not even an argument so much as a debate rlly

like the weird stop start pattern is how she has to go about it so she knows that no one’s emotions are influencing anyone else’s???  like that way she knows she’s not making kara or lena angrier and she knows that they’re not making her any angrier, that whatever they bring to the table is their own

her moms thinks its rlly cute and also theyre rlly sad that she has to like.....live like this??  like she’s so terrified of ever taking away someone’s free will that she’ll just drag out a highly uncomfortable experience (stella Hates confrontation and, if given the opportunity, would probably just get it all done and over with in one go but sadly that is not an option for her) just to make sure she’s not doing anything wrong irt other ppl

she tends to argue with kara more??  bc thats who, in general, does actually treat her a bit differently bc she’s the one that’s like painfully aware that stella’s not kryptonian.  like and that’s not a problem obviously!!  kara loves her just the same as she loves finn and maia but it’s just scary for kara bc there’s a certain level of comfort in knowing finn and maia are stronger and faster and virtually invulnerable, and it’s terrifying that her youngest, tiniest child isnt.  like even just physically??  stella is so much smaller than her siblings and that’s just like a visual representation of their differences and its scares kara so so much every time stella walks out the door.  so she’s the one that generally is like hey maybe wear flats, you dont want to break your ankle or you cant go out in this weather, you’ll catch your death and stella’s like ???  you dont treat maia and finn like theyre babies and she gets rlly angry abt stuff like that bc she knows she’s different??  but she doesnt like getting reminded 

her arguments with lena arent even arguments like they rlly are essentially debates over rlly small insignificant stuff, like it rarely gets heated, feelings are never hurt.  that said, she’s had like one Major argument with lena and thats like when stella starts doing her own vigilante shit, like learns jiu jitsu and krav maga and gets maia’s best friend beth (a tech genius interning at l-corp) to help her with the gadgetry and lena’s the first to find out and she’s like No, no you’re not doing this, this isn’t safe and stella’s like technically i am an adult so yeah i am doing this and its more a battle of wills??  like there’s no out and out confrontation but it’s a weird few months until there is

NOW WHEN THE KIDDOS FIGHT

they rlly dont fight that much but usually its between finn and maia, with stella and their moms playing peace maker/referee.  like.....thats their dynamic, their built in system.  finn and maia’s inherent morality go against each other like at nearly every turn bc finn is such a pacifist and maia rlly rlly isnt, like even from when they were little that was like the main source of conflict for them

like finn always feels like he needs to go along with whatever maia’s up to just to minimize damage??  keep collateral damage low, u know??  and maia’s fine with that, likes having her brother with her as back up, likes not feeling so alone in her rage, but he’s kind of useless help, always standing behind her and telling her to leave it, walk away, it’s not worth it but like it fucking is??  to her???  

they do get into screaming matches sometimes.  like......they’ll fly up out of sight of the city and just rip into each other and whenever they come back home, they just will not look at each other for a while.  and stella’s left adrift bc they’re some of her favorite ppl and holy shit, what if this is the fight that rlly breaks them all apart??  so she runs between them, trying for damage control, but she’s not v good at it bc she’s way too invested, soaks up all their emotions like a sponge and comes away from it worse for wear

and like kara and lena are always on top of the situation, u know??  like they may not always know what their kiddos are fighting abt bc their arguments tend to wander to different things so what they may hear abt may not be what started it, but they always know when they’re fighting and usually they’ll each take on one of them to talk to, exchange notes, make a plan, help them figure out a compromise

and best yet, they know when sometimes they just need to step back and let them work it out for themselves???  like they know when to back away and when to pull stella away bc, bless her, she’s still desperately trying to fix everything bc its wildly uncomfortable for her whenever there’s tension in the house, so sometimes the best thing is just to distract her with other stuff and let finn and maia work whatever it is out between themselves (and they always do like, at the end of the day, they love each other a lot and rlly arent ever abt to let anything come between them)

on the occasions that stella’s ever fighting with someone, it’s usually maia and its usually that theyre both kind of jealous of the other??  like maia is everything stella wishes she was, all tall and gorgeous and smart and kryptonian but stella isnt angry all the time, doesnt have this rage eating away at her, can live her life without wanting to put holes in walls every day and so they get jealous of the other and the get irritated and they get fucking angry and maia’s so angry, stella can’t help but absorb some of that, even if she’s being careful

they mostly fight during high school??  like thats when its just the two of them in the house, after finn’s off at college, that’s when there’s no buffer between them and that’s when stella so desperately wants to be like her big sister, that’s when maia doesnt want to have to take over for finn as stella’s protector, wants to live her own life for once goddammit

and like???  it’s kind of out of nowhere.  like kara and lena dont see it coming but one day kara hears maia screaming and is like fuck and flies home and is like ????  when its just her and stella, red faced and breathing hard and stella looks like she’s on the verge of tears and maia looks as if she wants nothing more than to just leave and she tries to play peace maker but it only seems to make it worse bc both girls feel like she’s taking the other’s side and they both storm off and kara’s still just sort of ??????  what the actual fuck ???

they dont fight often, but they do actually play dirty bc they both know where to poke and prod and press to hurt the most and they rlly dont ever Truly work through it until they’re like full grown adults, like stella’s in college and maia’s grown and living in opal city and stella calls her when she’s like real fucking wasted and is like hoooooly shit we’re fucked up maia, we’re real shitty to each other??  but we shouldnt be because i love you, i love you so much and i miss you and did you know jungle juice is really strong???  its so strong maia.  maia did i tell you i love you because i do a lot

maia’s sort of freaked out by the confession/apology and she’s freaked out by the way stella’s slurring her words and she almost just calls kara to go get her but this is her baby sister and she called her??  she called maia, not finn, not kara, not lena, she called maia, so maia grabs a comfy sweater and hauls ass to stella’s university and just bundles her baby sister up and gives her a lot of water to drink and stays with her that night and helps her with her hangover the next day and stella’s sort of shocked she came (stella also doesnt rlly remember her phone call but u know, semantics) but then maia hangs around until stella’s like a little less hungover and she makes them dinner and is like so, we should talk and then they do !!  and they actually finally are truthful with one another, finally say what they mean and its rlly good and stella’s so so happy bc she has her big sister back and maia’s over the fucking moon like she missed stella so much, remembers when they were little and she would braid stella’s hair and show her how to balance on a skateboard 

[thefatedmeeting]

i tweeted a lot abt the concert yesterday and i translated it to eng so i coudl send it to meg so im gonna just paste it here for the record. warning: im very excited

okay. the tweets start after i got in the hotel from the show so ill translate them all hsdfgj

everyone i cant stay here for a long time cuz the wifi sucks and im really nuts but im so dead i have no words guys idk i cant believe i saw my sons live sdkfjsdf

the choreos and dances and them speaking portuguese and jin and suga and hoseok crying im emo

i was kinda far away, i couldnt see their faces neatly but i could identify their body shape and im so emo

them saying they were happy to come and they wwanted to come more frequently and they were sad to go and jin (THE GUY FROM AWAKE) saying he feels better bec of the fans im :(((((

when suga and namjoon sang their solos i was almost crying tbh kfdjd

and taehyung was wearing that bandana, this man is truly trying to kill me sdfsdf

im gonna be that guy but tae's choreos were super beautiufl and i am very fuckenigh in love

i wanted to talk abt my day and the queue and abt my sons more, but im super tired soo GOOD NITE

there were sooooooooo many people, so many fuckin people, the biggest queue of my life skdjfsdf and a lot of young ppl too damn. but it was so beautiful, the fans and the boys singing together :((( im emo

i woke up super early, i was like so fuckin sleepy sdkfjsdf we boarded the plane etc, the trip was nice, i was super nervous but we arrived well, already in the plane i spotted a lot of fans sdkfjsdf

when the plane landed it kinda shook a little and a girl SHRIEKED a nervous laugh i had to fuckfign laugh out loud it was so funny dfjkgdfhgfdh

okay so we got to the hotel, tehre were armys there too, wow guys there were so many armys in sao paulo you kick a lamppost and 10 would pop out

our hotel room was super simple but it was good, and comfortable. the bed was a+++++++++

me and my sis went out for lunch then we went to the concert venue, i was super nervous but thanks to the medicine i got better sdkfjskjdf man. when we got there the queue was HUGE. the biggest queue of my life

there WERE SO MANY PEOPLE SERIOUSLY and a lot of young ppl, like even babies. there was a baby who was jiimin's fan i was like sdlffj

there were ppl selling merchandise too it was the biggest amt of bts stuff ive evers een in my life in one place holy shit. i loved it tho i wish i couldve bought a t shirt or something as a token but i only bought myself a bandana rip sdkfjsdkfjskfsd anyway, we stood there for like HOURS we arrived at like 3pm until fuckin 7pm my legs are all dead, i woke up w a cramp last night sfgdfg

while the queue moved i talked to armys, everyone was so fuckin excited they started yelling JHOOOOOOOPE AND SCREAMING OUTTA NOWHERE I WAS LIKE WHATS HAPPENIGNG

THERE WERE PPL IN THE QUEUE FOR THE \NEXT DAY\ DUDE. IT WAS RAINING SLIGHTLY LIKE PLEASE REST FRIENDS DONT DO THIS DSFGDG

i found it funny that the merchandise sellers (?) researched bts so hard, they were using fan lingo ksdjflsdkjfs ive never seen this holy shit. it felt like idk those anime cons i used to go on high school, except times 10000000 and with like more excitable ppl

after we entered the venue, ppl started singing, sometimes there was a drone recording stuff, and at some point their staff came over to take pictures

i was trying to find my friends but i was so fuckening lost and they were out of the venue still sdfsdfsdfsdf

at some point it turned into a single person queue (?) and then my friend found me thanks to me jumping and some fan's mom lending me her umbrella so i could spin it sdkfjsdf

anyway <3 me and gabs started talking abt the show, the boys, the fans, life universe and everything else. shes so sweet. i adopted her as my second sister xoxo

the queue was so big it went around the fuckin block, smh. when we got to the venue we started getting hyped sdlfkjsdlkfjsdf we managed to enter nicely, then we got up super nuts and IT WAS SO NICE INSIDE THERE

we got to a nice place in the front except it wasnt our assigned seats so we had to split up later sdkfjsdf but damn, it filled up super quick, i was shocked. i could see the stage quite nicely, i kinda regret not seeing their faces properly but i SAW them and i died and i emotionally hugged all of them so tiengo nada a perder sdfsdf

OKAY SO i filmed so many things. i was like trying to watch the concert, looking at the stage, looking at the screens, yelling, singing and filming skdfjsdf

when they started showing the mvs i was HYPED everyone was already singing and it was hard to not get into that excited vibe

AND THEN AN OPENING VIDEO STARTED AND I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT ITS STARTING

IT OPENED W NOT TODAY AND IM SDLFHALFHALFHALKHALFKAHD AND EVEYRONES STARTED GETTING UP ON THEIR FEET AND IWAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK GUYS I WANNA STAY SEATED BUT I HAD NO CHOICE, EVERYONE WAS STANDING ALL THE TIME SO I HAD TO DO IT TO SEE THINGS SDKFJSDF

THEY STARTED TALKING AND I COULDNT HEAR ANYTHING THERE WERE SO MANY PPL SINGING AND YELLING IT WAS HARD. I SORTA GOT THE "BRAZIL" AND "TAO CURTINDO (ARE YOU LIKING IT)" AND TAE SAYING "AMAMOS VOCES/ WE LOVE YOU"

LATER I FOUND OUT JHOPE SIAD BRAZIL WAS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE TOUR THAT SOLD OUT AND I WAS EMMO THEY LOOKED SO HAPPY

AT FIRST they looked tired but later they got excited bec the fans were... like so hyped sdflksdf

THEN CAME AM I WRONG, BAPSAE AND DOPE AND I DIED SDLFKSJDF THE CHOREOS BRO I WAS LIKE HOW CAN THEY DANCE LIKE THAT FOR REAL I CANT BELIEVE IT

it was so nice to hear everyone singing and yelling ogether it felt like we were performing with them too! dude idk i was emo

THEN CAME BEGIN AND JUNGKOOKS CHOREO AND IML IEK WHAT THE FUCK DUDE HOW CAN U DANCE LIKE THIS TEACH ME? BITHC

THEN JIMIN'S DANCE AND I DIED TOO GODDAMN! his dancing style is super smooth and sensual and like, the sense of weight is so light i die

it was so cool to hear ppl yelling their names, holy shit man sdkfjsdf

THJEN I THOUGHT STIGMA WAS COMING UP BUT SUGA CAME UP W FIRST LOVE AND I DEIED WITH THE PIANO HOYL SHIT DUDE THE COMBINATION OF THE VIDEO BEHIND HIM AND HIM RAPPING AND THE TONE OF THE SONG I WAS ALMOST CRYINFG DUDE IDK GABS LATER TOLD ME SUGA HAD CRIED AND I WAS LIKE BITCH ME TOO

THEN CAME UP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST REPRESENTING ME BEC I WAS  SO LOST IN SAO PAULO HOYL SHTI SDKFJSDF

THEN SAVE ME CAME UP!!! AND HOLY SHIT I WENT HNUTS BECAUSE SAVE ME INTRODUCED ME TO THEM!!!! AND I DIED BEC TRHE TRANSITION FROM SAVE ME TO I NEED U WAS SOO GOOD IN THE END OF SAVE ME'S CHOREO THEY GO DOWN AND I NEED U STARTS W THEM RISING UP I DIED

THEN REFLECTIONNNNNNNNNN CAME UPPPPPP AND I WAS EMO AGAIN THE VIDEO AND NAMJOON OH YM GOD GUYS AND THEN HE SAND "I WISH I COULD LOVE MYSELF" AND EVERYONE ELSE SANG "WE LOVE YOU" BACK TO HIM AND HE GOT ALL CHOKED UP HOLY SHIT DUDE IM EMO TOO I IWHS I COULD EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT THESE KIDS THAT SUFFER WITH THE RUSH OF THE IDOL LIFE BUT IF THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD IM HAPPY AS FUCK

SO BITCH. STIGMA COMES UP AND I ALREADY AM DEAD AND DYING AND SINGING ALONG AND TAE'S HIGH NOTE CAME UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP IM STILL SCHJOPKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

AND THEN COMES MAMA!!!!!!!! HOSEOKS KID PHOTOSSSD FSDFSDF AND THE FANS SINGING ALONG HOLY SHIT GUYS AT THE TIME OF THE BREAK HE STARTED MAKING A CRYING FACE AND A CHOKED UP VOICE AND  IALMOST CRIED WITH HIM

AND THEN JIN CAME BUPPPPP IM ALWAYS EMO WITH AWAKE BEC HE THINKS HES TALENTLESS AND HAS NO HABILITY BUT TDUDE EVERYONE SCREAMED HIS NAEM AND THE HIGH NOTESS I WAS KIKEAAAAAAAAAA BITHCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AFTER THAT I THINK THERE WAS CYPHER 4 AND THATS WHEN I TRULY LOST IT FUCK! THERES NO WAY TO SCREAM AND SING ALONG W CYPHER IDK DUDE IT WAS SO FUN TO GO OFF IT WAS ONE OF THE PERFORMANCES I LIKED THE MOST W THE FANS, AFTER SPRING DAY

THEN CAME UP FIRE AND IDIED W THE CHOREO, NOTHING NEW, AS ALWAYS I DIED THANKS. THEN THEY STOPPED AND I HEARD RAPMON ASKING IF WE WERE ENJOYING IT AND I DIED ALREADY LISTNEING TO IT COULDNT EVEN HEAR THEM, I HAD HEARD THEM TALK A BIT MORE TOO BUT I COULDNT MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF IT CUZ THEY WERE LIKE "SDJFSDF ??" AND EVERYONE SCREAMED AT IT

THEN THE MASHUP CAME UPGPPPPPPP I WAS SCREMAING SO MUCH ESP AFTER NO MORE DREAM. I FORGOT TO MENTION BUT BAPSAES DANCE BREAK KILLED ME TOO. AND THE CONFETTI IN RUNNNNNNNNNNNN I WAS EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THEN 21 CENTURY GIRLS CAME UP AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT TAE IDK HE SEESM TO DANCE THAT SONG RLLY NICELY AND IM WEAK

THEN THEY TALKED W US AGAIN AND I HEARD ONE OF THEM SAY THAT CONCERT WOULD ENTER THEIR STORY AND IT WAS THERE JIN SAID HE FELT BETTER BEC OF THE FANS, REFERRING TO AWAKE. FBITCH

THEN THEY COME UP W BOY MEETS EVIL AND IM SDLÇFKJSDFLKJSDF AND THEN BLOOD SWEEAT AND TEARS I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT THE CHOREO HOLY SHIT WHAT A SONG!!! I HAD HEARD NAMJOON SAY BEFORE BOY MEETS EVIL THAT IT WAS THEIR LAST SONG BUT I WAS LIKE NAHHH U LYIN

BUT AFTER A LARGE PAUSE THERE WAS WINGS AND 2!3! I DONT REMEMBE RHTE ORDER BUT HOL FUCKING SHIT I ALMOST CRIED IN WINGS, CLAPPING DYIGNH IDK

THEN THEY CAME UP W SPRING DAYYY AND HOLY SHIT THE FANS SINGING AFTER IT ENEDDED I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN THE BOYS WERE ALL EMO AND IM LIKE BITCH ME TOO HUG ME. JIN WAS ACTUALLY CRYING

THEN THEY TALKED ABT BRAZIL I DONT REMEMBER MUCH BUT THEY SAID THEY WANTED TO COME HERE AGAIN, MORE FREQUENTLY, THEY WERE SAD TO GO AND THEY CALLED THE FANS THEIR WINGS. AND I FORGOT THAT BITCHING VIDEO THEY SHOWED UP BEFORE WINGS

SPEAKOING OF THE "BOY WHO GROWS UP" AND OF THE BOYS UNITED AND THE SEVEN HEARTS INSIDE ONE, AND ONE HEART UNITED WITH SEVEN AND IM LIKE "EGFAYUHFAUFHE LET ME SIT DOWN I CANT RISE UP AFTER THAT ONE" JESUS CHRIST DUDE WHAT ATHE FUCK I CANT RECOVER FROM THAT

AFTER THE CONCERT I FOUND GABS OUTSIDE, SHE HELPED ME FIND MY SIS SDKFJSDF THEN WE FOUND BIA AFTER SOME STRUGGLING SHE WAS SOOO OUT OF IT CUZ SHE SAW THEM FROM UP CLOSE . THEN WE WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL MY SWEET SISTER BOUGHT ME A BURGER KING SO I WOULDNT BE HINGRY AND I WAS LIKE EATING RLLY OUT OF IT

I SLEPT NICELY. LIKE, NOT 100% BUT NICELY. WOKE UP W NO VOICE AT ALL AND A BITCHING CRAMP IN MY LEGS SDSFS WE WENT TO A FAMOUS PARK LATER AND ITTWA S SUPER NICE WE BIKED ALONG IT AND MY LEGS DIED BUT I WAS A HAPPY MAN SDLFJSDF

ANYWAY WE WENT ABC KTO THE AIRPORT AND IT WAS COOL. I DIDNT THINK I WOULD LOVE THEM MORE THAN I CURRENTLY DO BUT AFTER THIS CONCERT I CAME UP AT A NEW LEVEL IM SUPER OUT OF IT DUDE. WOKE UP TODAY AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE IM THERE I LEFT PART OF MY SOUL THERE

[strawberryspeachy]

Pretty sure I wrote on here how I walk on eggshells around my grandfather and I kinda started feeling bad about not trusting him lately cause he’s been being nice to me

Well like. I still did. But after basically cleaning and barn mixed with what would top the hoarders tv show... finally thinking for the first time in my life I could relax... a couple months later followed by that rug I’ve been fearing being ripped out from under me... in fact being ripped out from under me

I had my first emotionally loud panic attack yesterday. Promptly followed by being told that he doesn’t care if I have any place to leave and telling me that I’m crap.

And yeah. See. That’s exactly why that feeling has never gone away.

I remember one time after college I don’t remember what was happening but I was upset and he was mad at me and I think I flinched or something and he screamed at me “what have I ever done to you?! I’ve never hit you!” And he’s right. He’s never hit. Threatened to? Yes. Grabbed his belt and stormed over at me? Yea. Actually hit me? No.

It’s annoying that that’s the qualifier of abuse. Being hit.

I’ve already bitched about how psychologically my family’s fucked me up. How every time something new happens it teaches me why I react to other things a certain messed up way based on how I was treated in the past. It sucks. It sucked. And it will forever continue to suck.

I bitch on here super long posts because they just go into my endless blog somewhere on the internet. Instead of 100 page document taking up memory on my computer. In attempt to not bother my friends with it. Which I haven’t entirely done this time. I reached out to my friends for help. Instead of that 2 of them are no longer my friends and the rest ignore me.

I can’t kill myself. Nothing painless works. I don’t have the means for the for sure methods. As in like they require a perscription or the perfect weather. Or a contraption that doesn’t exist because. You’re allowed to be homeless. You’re allowed to starve if it’s because you can’t afford food. You’re allowed to be poisoned by chemicals rich companies produce. You’re allowed to suffer. You’re allowed to suffer so much that you die. But don’t you dare pull the trigger yourself. Don’t you dare make something that helps people escape. That’s immoral. That’s instigating. That’s against the law.

The internet is still flipping the fuck out because a tv show implied you’re actions might negatively affect someone’s mind so much that they kill themself. And at the same time mad that a tv show showed the life of a suicide because ill instigate others??? How can you fight with both : don’t blame bullying for suicide./ don’t talk about suicide or else it’ll cause suicide.

I’m all over the place here. It’s whatever. My page is probably gonna be taken down cause tumblrs censoring shit and there’s ppl on YouTube bitching about the same shit as above. Like holly fuck. When ppl say ppl are triggered by everything these days it’s normally about how they can’t tell jokes about different races or gays or whatever else they feel superior to. But like ugh. It is kinda true. God forbid you put your opinion on the internet. Not even on someone’s page. Just there. Just somewhere ppl can find it. Someone disagrees and doesn’t like that it’s there.

Anyway.

Every time bs happens with my family I start to wonder what I would be like if I weren’t brought up in such a toxic environment.

In the past year or so I wonder how my brain has changed when I get mad at someone because. My mother has a nasty habit of getting mad at someone and then attack them personally. Say you knocked her drink over or something. She won’t just get mad that you knocked her drink over and be like what the heck I rlly wanted that - can you get me a new one. No. She’ll tell you how you’re always the most inconsiderate person ever. SHE HATES YOU. YOU RUIN HER LIFE! You fucking bitch what the hell is wrong with you?! Why do you WANT to make her miserable?!?

For YEARS I’ve been getting mad and pointing out. It doesn’t matter if you upset about something. Be upset. Say something. But stop attacking people on a personal level every time you get mad.

A fucking year ago my mom (grandmom) was still doing okish. A year ago I was the only one taking care of my mom and really even giving a fuck..... complaint for another post.

But my mom was destroying the house. She was collecting trash. And breaking things and stealing stuff. It’s what ppl with dementia do. And it got super freaking frustrating to say the least. My mother instead of being like. You’re ripped up my sandwitch. Not cool! ——— instead would scream the same things I wrote above at my mom and tell her how she was the worst parent ever and how she’s always been doing these things to ruin her life and how she’s so stupid for every decision she’s ever made ect ect ect

Keep in mind. My mom had 3 kids who she took care of. Maybe not the best parent. But a good and loving parent. And then she took care of me becauseeeee my mother decided I was only good as a get out of jail card and opted to be a coke addict hanging out with actual criminals till I was ending high school.

So many times I told her she needs to stop talking to mom like that. She needs to stop talking to me like what. How would she feel if every time someone got mad at her they called her a fucking bitch and brought up everything that’s ever bugged them about her and called her scum for it. She swore ppl already did that. So I started doing it to her. For the first few months she just got extra mad. Even though I pointed out that’s exactly what she always did to us. Isn’t this worse than just being upset about something.

Did she change. No. She just doubled down on it. And now I just react to her in the same way she treats me.

How this started is lost on everyone in my family. It’s just more “she she’s exactly like her mother” cause even though I was a super good kid. I was always just like my mother to the rest of my family.

And to pull this back. I don’t rlly get to see anyone. I’m stuck here. I have no money. Basically no friends. Nothing. And I’ve begun to wonder. When I think about ppl when I’m upset with them. Has just this year of personally attacking someone to match their tone taken its toll on how I react?

It honestly doesn’t even matter at this point. I feel like I should realize that lonely kid I was making up things to play in the backyard is all I’ll ever be. Those dreams of actually being part of something. Having ppl who care about me for me. That’s not gonna happen.

I was looking for a recipe I sent my aunt in the beginning of college. I found it in our fb messages but not before scrolling through the copy pastes from that demon roommate I had that year.... I consciously was nothing but nice to that girl. I talked to her when she talked to me and didn’t intrude on her when she didn’t talk to me. I was positive. I invited her when I went places. I introduced her to the ppl I talked to. I didn’t say anything when she broke my stuff or woke me up or had her bf and sister over every weekend. ONE TIME while I’m sleeping and she starts having sex in the bunk above me for the 4th time I say outloud pls stop... then follow that up later alone with an apology and tell her to just ask me to give her private time. She she committed herself to trying to turn all my friends against me. Getting my crush to stop talking to me. Turning my entire floor against me. Telling my ra that I made her uncomfortable to be in the room and yelled at her and several other things I’ve repressed from that convo with my ra while I was in shock that she said so many mean things about me and I never even knew she hated me. Wondering what did I do? I guess I heard it in the ways that she complained that I looked good in jeans. I guess I heard it in the way she got mad that her bf wanted to watch the tv show I head headphones in for and asked if I could take them out so he could watch too when she wanted him to do something. I guess it was in the way that when she met my friends she immediately spoke in just Korean till they asked her to speak in English since I couldn’t understand. I guess i should have known when she got mad at me for not being as resentful toward my family as she was toward hers at the time. I guess I should have known when she would look at me sometimes and I’d wonder why the look felt like she hated me. Cause she did. I’m dumb and didn’t know and I continued trying so hard to be overly nice and considerate toward someone who wasn’t satisfied targeting the ppl around me. But instead wanted everyone on fb to know how absolutely terrible and awful I was.

And I still hate her. And she’s in the back of my mind every time I think about what happens when I’m nice. But reading those. It hurt all over again.