#sometimes i make posts and they just end up being reiterations of posts i've seen before but i thought i made up

[mikakuna]

do you think some random toddler has come up to jason, looked up at him, lifted their arms until jason picked them up and then just latched onto his nipple through the shirt? when the milk doesn't come, the kid just starts rubbing his chest and wondering where it is.

all of a sudden jason has a handful of a sobbing toddler while the toddler has a handful of his left tit

[merrybloomwrites]

Been Here for Days

Summary: You never thought about the dangers of dating a celebrity. But when you get taken by a man who's after Harry's money you're faced with the jarring reality that you're not as safe as you thought.

Word Count: 3.7K

CW: kidnapping, drugs, violence, attempted sa, hospitals

AN: I've read a few mafia AU stories where reader gets kidnapped because of Harry's dark world. So it gave me the idea for a non-AU story in which the reader gets kidnapped, simply for being the partner of a famous and wealthy popstar. I've had this partially written for a while but it seemed fitting to include in Whumptober so I finally finished it up.

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Dating Harry Styles came with a certain level of attention. This wasn’t a surprise to you, and you learned how to deal with it fairly quickly. Harry also did a lot to protect you and try to keep you out of the public eye as much as possible. 

Whenever he did get overprotective you’d remind him that it’s okay, you knew what you signed up for. But he always reiterated that his personal life should be private, and he didn’t want people trying to get more information about the two of you than he chooses to share.

One thing that’s obvious is that no one really cares about you. Not as an individual. They care that you’re Harry’s girlfriend. There’s not a doubt in your mind that if the two of you ever broke up, you’d never have photos posted of you again. 

And you’re fine with that too. It doesn’t bother you that you’re just seen as the girlfriend, mainly because it means people don’t care to go digging and finding facts about your life. Your family has been left alone for the most part, and you can still go out alone without being bothered.

Occasionally an individual will show deep interest in you, and you’ll find a social media account dedicated to you. Sometimes it’s a fan page, sometimes it’s a hate page. You let them be, since they’re still only posting things that are already released to the public. Even these ‘more enthusiastic’ people aren’t really crossing boundaries, since they’re not trying to find private photos or follow you to get photos of their own. 

Or so you thought.

Since spring began, and the weather turned nice, you’ve been making sure to walk to work each day. Ironically, you’d gotten a job in a local bakery. You wanted a steady job of your own while Harry isn’t touring, and this seemed like a perfect choice. You love getting up early to bake and decorate what’s needed for the day. It’s calm, and therapeutic. You mostly work in the back, doing the actual baking, but occasionally you fill in up front at the register. 

Each morning you walk to work as the sun is just rising, and you get home by early afternoon. This gives you time to run errands, do some chores around the house, or just take some time to relax before Harry gets home. He’s been working more in the studio recently, but still makes it a point to get back by 5PM in order to spend a couple of hours with you every day.

You cook a meal together, talk about your days, and often put on a movie and cuddle. It’s the simple things that bring the two of you joy, just getting to end your days together. 

You wake up on Monday morning, and it starts just like the rest. You get dressed, kiss the cheek of a still sleeping Harry, and begin your walk. You have an odd feeling, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is. You were up a bit later than usual the night before, enjoying some adult activities with Harry, so maybe you’re just a bit tired.

The same feeling is there on the way home. But you’d had a tough day at work with someone calling out, leaving you to try and continue baking while also working the register. 

This feeling continues the whole week, and you continue to make excuses as to why you’re so anxious during your commute each day. But when the next week is the same, you begin to grow wary. Finally, on Thursday of the second week you realize that it feels as though you’re being followed. This thought does freak you out, and you plan to talk to Harry that night at home.

But you don’t make it home.

The weather on your walk back to the house is perfect, if not even a little warm. But you don’t feel it. You feel chilled, and nervous, and you’re glancing over your shoulder every two seconds. You’re mad at yourself, berating yourself for not calling Harry to have him pick you up. You’d convinced yourself it would be fine, and you didn’t want to bother him. But now as you walk alone, sensing another person might be following you, that logic seems incredibly stupid. 

As you’re pulling out your phone to call Harry you hear a noise in the bush next to you. Instinctively, you turn towards the sound. Everything happens so quickly, yet as though it’s in slow motion. A man rushes at you, covering your mouth so you can’t scream and using his other arm to keep you still. 

You try to fight back, but he’s bigger, stronger. Despite your best efforts, he still manages to get a needle into you. At first you feel the pinch of the needle, and then you feel nothing at all, and your world goes black. 

When you wake up, you’re disoriented. You’re in a bed, and while it’s comfy, it’s not your own. The bedroom you’re in is completely unrecognizable. Slowly, your memories come back. There was a man. Who’d probably been following you for weeks, tracking your schedule, and he’s now taken you. 

And not to some basement, or a warehouse or something creepy that you’d see in movies. No, he took you to his home. To a bed. And that feels even worse. You quickly assess your body, and are relieved to find that you’re still in your same clothes, and all you can feel are a couple minor scrapes and bruises, likely from trying to fight the man. 

There’s a window in the room so you get up and peek out. It’s dark, indicating a lot of time has passed. You can’t see anything outside, no other houses, and hope it’s just because of how dark it is. Because the idea that there’s nothing nearby is causing you to panic even more than you already are. 

You check the door, but of course it’s locked from the outside. The window won’t open either. You’re trapped. 

There is a bathroom attached to the bedroom, but no way to escape from there either. It does mean you can take a sip of water and splash some water on your face which helps calm you briefly. 

Taking deep breaths you begin to pace. Your mind spins, trying to come up with escape scenarios, and hoping that someone is figuring out where you are so they can come get you. The sky turns pink outside and you check your surroundings again. 

There’s nothing but a large open field. No biggie. Maybe there’s civilization out the front of the house. There’s no way you’re locked in a house with a crazy person out in the middle of nowhere. 

Tears spring to your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. There’s got to be a way out of here. A way back home. A way to Harry. 

You’re left alone for what feels like hours. You’re a little hungry, but that’s the least of your concerns at the moment. 

Finally, the door opens. You stand your ground in the middle of the room, not wanting to back yourself into a corner for whatever is about to happen. 

Taking a deep breath, you stand up straight, not showing any weakness to the person who took you. 

“Well good morning sweetheart,” he says. The pleasantries, the nickname, it’s all nauseating to you, but you keep your expression unreadable. 

“My name is Roy. I’ve been watching you and your boyfriend. You make a very cute little couple.”

“What do you want with me?” You ask, ignoring how violated you feel at the confirmation that this strange man has been following you. 

“Isn’t it obvious? Money. I want money. Harry seems to be quite devoted to you. I bet he’ll pay anything to get you back.” 

And it is obvious, really. It shouldn’t come as a surprise at all that people would want Harry’s money. But you never expected anyone to literally kidnap you for it. 

“Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure you have food and water and a safe place to stay. Might rough you up a bit, maybe have some fun,” he says as he steps forward and runs a finger along your cheek, causing you to recoil and bump into the bed behind you. 

He laughs at that, seeming to enjoy your discomfort, and then adds, “Of course that may be some good incentive for your boyfriend. I’m sure he’d hate to see anything bad happen to you.”

Your fear amps up a notch hearing this but you keep your emotions off of your face. You’re determined to stay strong throughout this whole ordeal. This man does not get to overpower you, doesn’t get to see you break like you’re sure he wants. 

He steps back a moment later and says, “Just need a quick picture, you know proof of life, proof I have you, all that.” Before you can register what he’s saying he takes out an old camera and takes your picture, the flash stunning you. 

“I brought you a sandwich and some water. It’s all sealed so you know I haven’t done anything to it. Wouldn’t want you starving yourself or dehydrating,” he says as he hands you the items. You take them, confirming they are in fact unopened. 

“Eat. I’ll be back later,” he says before stepping out of the room. You hear the definitive click of the lock but you still double check, just in case it’s open. 

Of course it isn’t, but you had to try. After examining the food to confirm it hasn’t been tampered with you take a tentative bite. It’s good, and that first bite kick starts your appetite so you quickly eat the rest. 

Roy comes back hours later to drop off dinner. He again leaves you alone to eat, and you’re starting to get lulled into a false sense of security. You think that maybe it won’t be so bad. If he’s just after money, then he might just leave you alone and then he’ll get paid and you’ll be home. 

But of course it can’t be that simple. 

Later that evening he comes back in.

“I’m bored,” he says. Just two words shouldn’t be so bone chilling, but you understand the implication. He’s bored and you’re at his mercy. He’s already drugged and kidnapped you. There’s not telling what else he’s capable of. 

By the time he leaves again you're bruised, and there’s blood running from your split lip. He’d thrown you around, hit you hard enough to send you to the ground where he kicked you repeatedly. It was terrifying and painful. 

But you admit to yourself that it could’ve been worse. You somehow convince yourself that it wasn’t so bad, that you’ll recover quickly once you get home.

After another day and a half with Roy, you’re doubting that will happen. You’re doubting you’ll recover. You’re doubting that you’ll get home. The situation has turned from terrible to terrifying. 

You’ve spent three nights in this room, including the one you were mostly unconscious for. Roy’s violence has grown, and now he seems to be changing plans again. 

“These bruises look lovely on you,” he says. It’s creepy as fuck, and indicates that whatever happens next will be awful. 

“While the violence has been fun, there are other ways to bruise your skin. I think I’ll do that today instead.”

After days of beatings you’re too tired to fight back. You lay there crying as he climbs on top of you and pins you down. His mouth goes to your neck and he begins to suck a mark there. Bile rises in your throat and it takes everything in you not to vomit at the feeling of him so close to you, touching you in this way. 

You’re wondering how you’re going to survive what’s sure to come next when there’s a noise. Suddenly the door slams open and nearly a dozen people enter the room. At first you’re terrified that they’re here to hurt you as well, but then Roy is pulled off of you and handcuffed and you realize that they’re police officers there to save you. 

One comes and talks to you, reassures you that everything is going to be okay, but still, you’re scared. It’s too much. Too much noise, and commotion, and people. You’re overwhelmed.

And then one more person enters the room. He looks different, more frazzled with a longer beard than you’ve ever seen. But as he crouches beside the bed and holds your hand between his, there’s no denying that Harry is here. 

There’s a darkness that’s been pulling at you for a while, and now that Harry’s here and you’re safe, you finally let it pull you under. 

You wake up in an uncomfortable bed wearing an itchy gown. There are bandages wrapped on various parts of your body and tubes and wires attached to you. Everything is still hazy, but you know there’s a hand holding yours. 

You quickly and clumsily pull away, not wanting anyone to touch you right now. 

Slowly the world around you refocuses, and you realize the person next to you is Harry. As much as you want his comfort, you can’t bear to have anyone’s skin touching yours. Not when it only makes you think of Roy and what he did. And what he was planning to do. 

Over the next few hours people come and go from your room. Nurses, doctors, detectives, all sharing information and asking you questions. 

But you say nothing. You don’t respond. You lay there, watching with a blank expression. Someone brings in food for dinner, and you eat just enough to make them happy before pushing away the tray and curling further into your blankets. 

The next day is much the same. They bring in a trauma counselor and though she’s a kind woman, you still say nothing. 

And it’s not that you’re upset with, or mad at these people. They’ve done nothing to you. But there’s this block in your mind right now. You’re so exhausted from the whole ordeal that it’s taking everything in you just to eat food and drink water and get yourself to and from the bathroom. 

Another two days pass and your doctor is in the room talking to Harry. He tried speaking to you but still you’re unable to find your voice. 

“Medically, she’s well enough to go home,” the doctor says. “Her injuries are healing well enough that I’m ready to discharge her.” 

You perk up a bit at this news. You miss home, miss the big comfy bed with the big windows. You miss your garden, and how peaceful it is. Hearing that you might be able to go back to your house with Harry has you more alert than you’ve been in days.

But then the doctor adds, “However, I’m concerned by her mental state. She still hasn’t said anything, and she barely lets anyone touch her. It’s important that her bandages get changed regularly and I’m worried that she won’t allow you to help with that. So until that changes she’ll have to stay here.”

Your heart drops at that. The despair you feel has you finally breaking through and suddenly you say, “No. Home.”

They both look at you and Harry quickly moves to the side of your bed. 

“What was that, baby?” he asks. He looks hopeful and you know that he’s just happy to hear you speak again.

“Home. Please,” you state. It’s hard to talk, full sentences being something you can’t do yet. But you get your point across and Harry looks at the doctor to see what he has to say about this advancement. 

Your doctor comes closer as well and asks, “Will you be okay with Harry helping you at home? He’ll have to touch you to properly clean and bandage your wounds.”

You nod, but you know that alone won’t convince them. Even though it takes a lot of courage to do this, you reach out your hand and grab Harry’s. He gasps at the contact and quickly laces your fingers with his. It feels foreign, and you hate that you no longer feel comfortable holding hands with the person who used to be your safe place. 

Apparently that was the right move, though, because you’re discharged by the end of the day. You get wheeled out, and Harry helps you get from the chair into the car that’s there for you. There’s still an overwhelming part of you that wants to flinch away from his touch, but you tell yourself that he needs this. He needs to be able to help you. 

On the drive, Harry informs you of the updated security the two of you will have. It’s weird to know that there will be people watching the house at all times, but you admit to yourself that it makes you feel better. 

Once you’re finally home you breathe a sigh of relief. And then you get to your room and the exhaustion hits again. 

You sit down on the bed and Harry moves through the house, doing all kinds of things that he thinks will help you. His nervousness is obvious, and you want to tell him you’re okay, that he should relax.

When he focuses on you again he asks, “What can I get for you? What do you need?”

“Bed.” 

“You’re tired? You want to get ready for bed?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay, we can do that. Let me get you some clothes and then we can go brush our teeth together. And I’ll bring up some water and maybe some food in case you wake up hungry since you didn’t eat too much dinner before we left the hospital,” he rambles. It seems that he’s trying to make up for your lack of words by speaking more than usual. 

Harry grabs the clothes and walks over to you. It’s clear that he’s about to help you up and so you quickly stand and walk to the bathroom before he has the chance to touch you. You hate seeing the pain in his eyes at your rejection, but you’re just not ready yet. 

After getting ready you climb into bed. It’s so soft, so comfortable, and so familiar that you quickly fall asleep. 

You wake up with a jolt, your heart racing as the images of your dream race through your mind. The worst part is that it’s not just a made up nightmare, but the memories of the nightmare you actually lived. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks and he reaches out a hand to comfort you. He quickly pulls it back when he sees the way you eye it with fear and trepidation. 

“I can go,” he says. “If you’re uncomfortable with me in the bed I can stay in the next room.”

Immediately you panic at the thought of him going anywhere. “No. Stay. Please. Just, don’t touch,” you reply.

He nods and the two of you sit there in bed next to each other. You begin to cry and Harry fights back tears of his own. 

After a few minutes Harry says, “They wouldn’t let me pay the ransom.”

You turn to him, confused for a moment. And then you realize that he’s explaining why it took so long to get you out. 

“When I got the message from…him. I showed it to the detectives who were here and told them I’d pay immediately so I could get you back. But they wouldn’t let me. Said it would set a precedent and put you in even more danger. Make you a target. That if I listened to this crazy person’s demands and gave him what he wanted, more people might try to take you to get money as well. I hated knowing that they were right. That I couldn’t do the one thing in my power to help you without making life riskier for you. And I hated that you being with me put you in that position in the first place. Y/N, I am so sorry that this happened to you, that it happened because of me.” 

His voice breaks and you sit for another moment absorbing what he’d just said. You didn’t realize before, but now you know that you were mad at him. You were mad that it took so long for them to get you. But everything he said makes sense to you.

And as horrible as the experience was for you, it was awful for him as well. He looks just as exhausted as you are, and though he didn’t deal with the pain and terror that you did, he spent days filled with anxiety and fear and guilt. 

You lay down on your back, looking up and trying to silently send him a message. Once he understands he lays down as well. Slowly, one inch at a time, you shift closer to him. Finally, you turn and lay your hand on his chest. He brings up his hand and places it gently on top of yours.

The touch no longer feels foreign to you. It finally feels comforting again. Building up courage, you move again, lifting your head until you can place it on his chest. This time he doesn’t hesitate, but quickly wraps his free arm around your shoulders, holding you close to him.

For a moment you panic, feeling trapped by him. But then you take a deep breath, inhaling Harry’s distinct smell, and you relax into his hold. 

“I forgive you,” you say quietly. Harry lets out a sob and you squeeze his hand reassuringly. After a moment he controls his tears and regulates his breathing. 

“I love you. So much,” he says.

“I love you too,” you reply.

You know that this isn’t the end. There’s a long road of recovery ahead of you. But being able to lean on Harry, to trust him fully again, you know that you’re going to be okay. He’s going to be there, he’ll help you on the bad days and celebrate the good. 

He begins to quietly sing, filling the room with his familiar and comforting voice. He lulls you back to sleep, but stays up for a while just watching you, reveling in the feeling of having you back in his arms, home where you belong. Safe and sound once again.

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AN: Thank you for reading!

[considermygenderminecrafted]

hmmmm. Debating makin this post but sure. Fuck it.

context: Sunny felt really hurt over how Phil introduced her to Talullah and some folks are interpreting is as Phil were cruel or that he's tryna be like more fucked up after purgetory

Disclaimer: Sunny is a kid and has every fuckin right to feel how she feels, and interpret things how she does, and it would be great if they talked and figured shit out. Disclaimer over.

Post: Ngl fellas, introducin someone with some banter about a topic you don't see em as insecure about is just kinda summit you Fuckin Do in north england. YUP EVEN WITH THE LITTLENS. My Mam and Dad did it with me nd my sister as a kid, my parents close friends would to it with us, my friends rents do it with them, my mates do with to me, I do it with them. It's like, kinda a thing that just happens,,, It's part of the culture. especially if the person you're introducing them too is nervous, cause its an ice breaker. Like "hey the person you're scared of is a person like you, look they can handle a bit of banter, its all fine we're friends here" type vibes!

Usually, you preface or end it with a compliment to show you're genuine feelings, and usually you don't do it with someone when it's your first meeting with em, but you'll take the piss out of someone you like to show that you like them yknow? Especially if you've like done other shit to establish yous appreciate that thing you're making fun of em about (like qPhil givin Sunny another pretty crown cause she likes gifts and pretty things and feeling like a princess).

You'd also go for something that you don't acutally feel negateiely about, obviously. Phil doesn't give a shit that she and tubbo steal, thats just a like thing that happens sometimes that you can roll your eyes at but whatever kids gonna nick shit /affectionate. It's not a fuckin insult coming from a place to shame or correct, it's intended to be banter, yknow?

Like, its a show that you like the person and know summit about the person and also believe they can handle a bit of banter at their expense. ESPECIALLY if you've seen em take the piss out of you, someone else, or themselves, cause then it's like "oh word you like to play with this dynamic, okay"

And like, does it suck when you misjudge? Absolutely. Does it suck when someone chooses the wrong topic and gets at summit you're genuinely insecure about? Yes. I've had convos with mine being like 'hey can you not use this topic when you're doin banter' and thats like, really fair to do. There are also like more casual ways to tell em to knock it off like, turning it back on them, or lampshadin it etc which are like, accepted way to tell someone to back down a bit, because it's just like. A thing you do here!

Like qPhil takes the piss out of everyone he loves, chayanne and talullah get it all the time, tubbo (the godparents of his kids) gets it SO much, so does fit, so does Etoiles, like its truly is like, just a fuckin, part of friendships.

TO REITERATE. SUNNY HAS EVERY FUCKIN RIGHT TO FEEL THE WAY SHE DOES! SHE IS A KID, SHE'S NOT FROM THE SAME CULTURAL BACKGROUN, SHE DOESN'T KNOW PHIL THAT WELL NOR PHIL AND TUBBOS RELATIONSHIP!!

Did qPhil put his foot in it? Yes. Do they need to have a natter and settle things? Yes.

But it would be fuckin Lovely if we didnae start up "Phil is actually being a bad person and purpose and cc!Phil is making the choice for his character to be bad" when it's just like, a cultural difference from him being northern again

[aotopmha]

I beat Shadow Generations.

Yup, this is indeed not just a good game, but a great game.

I'm still impressed by how they somehow managed to make a coherent and emotionally resonant story out of everything relating to Shadow after Sonic Adventure 2 because I've always thought the material we have gotten with Shadow as a character since then has ranged from okay (Sonic 06) to an absolute mess (Shadow 05).

I've seen people bring up the criticism of the story going back on Shadow's growth/retreading his arc, but my issue, particularly since Shadow 05, has been that I have not believed in his growth.

You can't move on from traumatic experiences without ever really working through them; move on just because you "say so".

Whether the whole point behind Shadow 05's ending was that he just moved on, now caring for his new friends or whether he just sort of decided to not care anymore, I didn't buy either of these.

To me it came across as if Shadow just decided he'll stop caring. This was the actual most childish part of Shadow 05 to me even when considering its tryhard localisation; the one element which, from what I can tell, is actually consistent with the original jp script, so ultimately an issue I take with the original.

Sometimes, in fact most of the time, the intention works for me even through flaws I see in a story, but here it didn't.

So, Shadow Generations simply fixed this issue I had with Shadow's arc.

And it wasn't even super packed in terms of script.

By "working through trauma" I simply refer to the idea of having any kind of self-reflection at all.

Additionally, Shadow 05 was a fairly massive game, but somehow still also failed to make Maria and Gerald actual complete characters.

Gerald had the issue less so, but through everything, they often just felt like footnotes, rather ghan characters important to Shadow.

In fact, it actually felt like the Shadow 05 story was trying to soften the blow on Gerald — he really built the Eclipse Cannon to save the world, not destroy it, you see, he totally was not "that bad".

And through the journal in Shadow Generations even Gerald's descent to madness and both kind and insane sides were somehow woven together as naturally as they possibly could have woven together.

Once again, to reiterate, I'm always super impressed whenever something solid is made out of a complete mess like this.

Shadow even just contemplating being able to save them at the start of the story went such a long way to explain who they were to him.

Same for all of the additional dialog with Shadow and Maria and Gerald between the stages.

Maria no longer is just essentially a plot device (granted a good one, otherwise I would not like Shadow in SA2) who died to just make Shadow sad.

She is someone who is struggling with her illness.

She is a genuinely sweet person worried about everyone on the Ark, from to the young GUN commander to Shadow himself.

Her importance goes down to her being the one to name Shadow.

And equally Gerald now starts off as a well-intentioned, even kind person, who, as pressure amounts and time slowly runs out for Maria, eventually snaps.

It's all very good elaboration on the most important characters to Shadow and, of course Shadow himself, who by the end of the game finally grieves.

Well, good elaboration for all characters except Black Doom, that is.

And honestly, I'm fine with that. He can stay the generic very obviously evil monster. I'm more than happy enough with a good boss fight out of him.

The best aspect of Black Doom is that Shadow takes none of his yapping, making him a vehicle through which to show how much Shadow's confidence in himself has grown.

Once again, just another bit of solid character work.

There are other aspects I might go into more detail with more posts down the road in terms of story (like how well humour was melded with everything else here – the story knew when to have fun and when to be serious in just the right way, never becoming too self-serious, but also never placing jokes in awkward places. I think I've also seen people criticise the inclusion of Big and Orbot and Cubot, but I think they're really important comic relief characters to not let the story – or even game in general – veer into joyless territory), but I want to move on to the rest of the gameplay.

And I think Radical Highway surprised me the most because of how difficult it felt to me.

It really did test everything you learned across the game and basically left "the best" for last in the sense that it truly felt like a final level.

My actual favourite 3D stage might be Sunset Heights because I just really love the Death Egg Robots as a set piece and how they influence gameplay.

Kingdom Valley's many paths are really awesome for sure, but not quite as cool on a pure mechanical level to me.

Act 2 of Kingdom Valley is my favourite 2D stage in the game for sure, though.

Another element that surprised me was the Doom Morph ability, which I expected to be really clunky and not really function that well based on outside impressions, but instead ended up feeling just mildly awkward here and there, functioning mostly fine.

On the other side of quality, I think Chaos Island is my least favourite stage in the game, but not to the point of being actually bad.

While Planet Wisp's acts were a tedious slog, Chaos Island just suffers from some of the awkward elements of Doom Morph while still having the same layered/expansive/fluid level design as the rest of the game.

I think this might be the first Sonic game in a while I don't dislike a single level in, including the challange stages, which are short and sweet and also flow really well.

It doesn't fall apart by the end, has no jarring alternate playstyles (some of which I do enjoy for what they are, but have no place in Sonic games) nor have much artificial padding, also keeping the pacing solid.

The challange stages are closest to padding, but as said, they're short and sweet.

It feels like an anomaly, just like the original Generations except unlike Shadow Generations, base Generations still had a few foundational issues to iron out in terms of control.

But as I've said several times now, I really hope they make a fully original game that uses this control foundation as its basis, from stages to open world.

Use these controls with Sonic-specific abilities coupled with similarly solid level design (and new level themes) and you might just have one of the best if not the best Sonic game(s) you've ever made.

Shadow Generations has left me so strangely hopeful about the future of the series in comparison to back when I first heard about it, at which point my expectations were to either just get a couple of additional cool boost levels, which at best are great fun or at worst just a repeat of the buggy, inconsistent messes that came before (like Frontiers or Superstars and similarly not worth the price even if they don't look completely awful), but Shadow Generations alone is worth the price, and the package with both games is absolutely worth it, doubly so if you can get it at a discount like I did.

I really did not expect anything in this package to be as good as it is.

[em-harlsnow]

I've been seeing more Svetlana content recently, and since I made a post recently about Mickey and Yevgeny I thought I would talk about her.

I really like Svetlana as a character because I think she's a really good representation of a strong, intelligent woman. She's clearly been through so much shit in her life, and she's incredibly good at looking after herself.

I've said before but I'll say it again, it makes me mad the double standard between her and Mickey. Mickey's seen as funny and cool when he gives people shit, but when she says similar things she is seen as rude. They both have a similar quick-witted and sarcastic manner, but one is hailed while the other is hated.

About her and Yevgeny: I think neither Mickey nor Svetlana should have HAD to be responsible for him, given the situation wherein he was conceived. Just because she's the mother, doesn't mean she should have had to look after him. That being said, she wanted to keep Yevgeny and she did love him, as she tells V later: 'there was no falling in love, just being' in reference to him. Even so, she needed help to look after the baby, which is why she went to Mickey. He did eventually TRY with the kid, and I'm not saying he did a good job.

After Mickey's in prison, Kev and V are very helpful in looking after Yev. About the thruple, first of all I want to say how sad I find it that Svetlana believes that 'love' in terms of 'marriage' is conditional and that 'wifely duties' are one of those conditions. Her and V really did love each other.

Now, her manipulating them into giving her ownership of the Alibi was wrong, but her intentions I believe were to genuinely help them.

With regards to Mickey and her relationship, they both said some awful (and sometimes true) things to each other. She blackmailed Mickey - which was wrong - but she did it to protect herself and her child because what else was she meant to do??? She's alone in a foreign country illegally and needs to find a way to be safe, not just for herself but for Yevgeny too.

With regards to Ian, and her wanting to call the police? Totally fair. I also understand why Mickey was against this, but again, she is trying to protect her child from someone she has witnessed be unstable and who has just run off with her baby.

I truly hope that she finds a good ending. Yes, she signed a prenup, but that doesn't mean she cant get the old man to put her in his will (I might be wrong on this, I dont know legal stuff). I dont think she would want anyone from her life in the Southside back in her life, to be honest. People might have different opinions on this, but I dont think she would want Mickey back either.

I think she really did love the triple-parent thing they had going on back then, but at the end of the day it wasnt a safe environment for a child to be growing up in. I think all three of them (Ian, Svet and Mickey) deserve peace in whatever ways they find it, and I hope she can get it.

Also - I love the 'you love him because he has real penis?' scene. She's so funny in that, and she clearly shows her distaste for men. Her and Mickey are very alike in that way and in another universe I think they could be friends since they're able to put each other in their place so often.

To reiterate: I do not think she should be obligated to look after Yev (in the same way I dont think Mickey should be) but at the end of it she (luckily) loved Yevgeny. She tells V that she would die for him.

[dirtbra1n]

AA4 SPOILERS/////

that quote you called krisnix is soooo fascinating to me bc, they really had dinner together most days, like that’s a level of commitment we didn’t even see from most of the ppl who phoenix considered important and that whole time on kristoph’s end it was to keep an eye on Phoenix and on phoenix’s end it curiosity bc kristoph voted against him losing his badge and also it was to find out the reason why he lost his badge and kristoph was just this name that kept popping up, and for Phoenix and kristoph it was so many red flags bc kristoph knew phoenix wasn’t the type to let something rest and Phoenix knew there was more to kristoph then at first glance but somewhere along the way it become genuine, but at the same time kristoph still kills shadi after a single convo with phoenix and phoenix still pressed record before even asking kristoph to be his lawyer, it’s Phoenix recording every single one of those convos with kristoph but still (probably) having him meet truck, but it’s kristoph keeping himself at arms length from Phoenix but Phoenix taking it bc he’s never been the type to give up on a person, whether it’s to their doom or his and for better or worse he wouldn’t want anyone else to really see him the way he currently is besides kristoph, now what the hell could that possibly mean?

(that quote I called krisnix)

anon you will never know the extent of the joy I felt seeing this initially and the extent of it I still feel now. but I’d like you to. Thank You For Biting. and for waiting a little over a month Sorry about that. I'm gonna ask you to forgive me if this doesn't make any sense or hold up to scrutiny. the demons have got hold of me and I'm making do

because I get to talk more about krisnix. Ha ha. pulled out all my silly little suppositions to review again I think I was waiting for an opportunity like this. like my hubris is getting me. I recklessly called that quote krisnix and now a little over a month later I'm completely sick about it.

I'm going to reiterate that I'm very sorry if this reads like shit, and I'll apologize just this once that this post got as long as it did. go fish

you ever think about how kristoph's a dog guy. guy who has a dog, guy who brought a photo of his dog into solitary confinement with him. also a caged blue bird which alive or not happened to contribute significantly to the krisnix breakdown of dec. 2023 There are really some very bright minds in krisnix pit. me and you included anon. that's a tangent. I'm sick. I'm drafting this in a terribly disorganized fashion. I'm reading transcripts. I'm getting dizzy.

this fucking room haunts me

vongole, though

a man's best friend, who's known to bite if handled roughly. her name means clams.

I've been doing some web surfing. I can't move in one straight line to save my life so I've been doing some web surfing. kristoph doesn't say what kind of retriever vongole is, which is fine. retrievers are dogs bred to retrieve game, tasked not to break skin, to be gentle, to keep soft mouths. vongole is a retriever who bites (literal) when bitten (metaphorical); a clam that clasps shut.

kristoph's a dog guy and sometimes he's the metaphorical dog. not One straight line to save my life. it's funny that seven years have passed without phoenix meeting vongole. held at arms length but indisputably held. a man's closest friend. besides his dog.

a lot of the time phoenix is the metaphorical dog. putting all tangents aside A lot of the time. phoenix is that metaphorical dog. what is seven years of companionship, eating dinner after dinner together, and being seen at your worst... worth? indulge me: this guy, you pieced together pretty quick, was behind the forged evidence that lost you your badge. this guy, as you saw happen in real time, was the one person on that committee to vote against that "strictest punishment".

this guy, as an indisputable fact, is a big fucking weirdo. you'll need to snare him eventually, for the forged evidence, but--you're kind of in the habit of liking weirdos. is the thing. he sunk your career, he lost you your badge. he's kind of an asshole, also.

he has bought you and trucy dinner more times than you could ever hope to count. there's a curve in your sofa from all the times he's sat in the same spot, wrinkling his nose at greasy takeout boxes and your grape juice breath. he talks to trucy in a voice slightly less haughty--warm, if a gun was held to your head about it--than the one he plays up with you, and she completely eats it up; thinks he's real fun to tease. his eyebrows wrinkle, an almost nothing frown, when she puts on a show with a trick that he can't immediately come to some conclusion about. he'll put on obnoxious rubber gloves to wash your dishes, to protect his manicured nails, as he goes down a dozen rabbit holes trying to reason out what he's missing. you've seen him doing casework. he's seen you delirious and half out of your mind. his mouth, in your experience, is soft.

you're kind of in the habit of liking assholes, too.

neither of these guys can be vulnerable for shit. over the course of seven years, they've seen each other as close to vulnerable as they can get, which isn't very, because this span of time especially--phoenix stubbornly keeping a little girl's head above the water, kristoph, for reasons we will never, ever understand, constantly looking over his shoulder--really doesn't see either of them in a place to get through any skin-flaying conversations about what they want with or from one another.

kristoph really does want control, though. he wants to be in control of things, have a handle on things. and he probably figured out something like immediately that phoenix wright really isn't the sort of guy you go to for that kind of thing. and yet! sunk cost fallacy's a bitch, kristoph! what good does a beautiful bluebird do you if you don't keep it with you on display heavy-handed. I know. don't I know it.

gonna rein myself in a little. because I'm off the deep end and you're posing really interesting ideas. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because "shadi smith" was unaccounted for, out there somewhere. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because he was scared for his life. "shadi smith" played a game of poker against the best and got whacked. and then murdered! tough luck!

really it's my curse. that so much of krisnix is personalized person to person, because of real aa5 shaped smoke and mirrors. because it gives me the space, the soapbox, the platform, microphone, and spotlight, to ask, In that trial, of the murder of Shadi Smith, where Kristoph Gavin was supposed to defend Phoenix Wright, what verdict was he looking to see through?

because I'm sick, you see. kristoph had just, finally, gotten rid of the man he spent so long being scared of, just clawed his way to the path out of the woods, and all he had to do was--

Have you ever stood at a crossroad. the decision laid out in front of you's not actually that tough, if you can believe it. even space for you to completely rationalize any attachments away: you get phoenix wright off (haha), you keep your reputation as the best defense in the west (opinions on the name notwithstanding), and you could, as a possibility to consider on occasion, maybe even learn how to have a slightly more-vulnerable-than-usual conversation.

or you could lose.

pretty simple choice to make, right?

and then phoenix goes and fucks it up, of course. dogs get restless with nothing to do. they want to be of use to you, kristoph, did you ever think to fucking ask phoenix for help? you come when called, you let yourself be persuaded, generously, to help keep food on the table. to keep a warm body company, one way or the other. to be some fucked up psychosexual approximation of a friend. but phoenix comes running when called, too, and you haven't once given him the chance.

big fucking stink you're in, kristoph! You didn't just brain a guy with a juice bottle for no reason. Tell me why you did it.

the big question you won't answer. five black psyche locks pulsing with a despair you don't have the tools to register. you said it already: I killed a man named "Smith" with a bottle because I am an evil human being.

what does phoenix hope to get out of this. motive for a murder, then what?

you really get me anon. phoenix never the kind of guy to give up on somebody he loves, up against someone who's finished with even arms length, stubborn as all get-out, and, even to himself, completely unsalvageable. irredeemable. an evil human being who killed a man named "smith" with a bottle.

it's not that phoenix would help kristoph hide a body. he pretty evidently did not do that. and it's not that phoenix would just forgive kristoph for trying to poison a twelve year old girl either. but there were seven full years between the disappearance of zak gramarye and the murder of "shadi smith", and vera misham hadn't been poisoned yet, and phoenix wright is an awfully loyal, terribly stubborn man himself.

I don't really know what the hell the lot of this means to tell you the truth. but I think now as much as ever that phoenix should chase kristoph's chance at life to the death, and I think that regardless of the stopping point on the line of time kristoph's last words to phoenix should be ...Later, then.

[gensokyogarden]

it's almost new years and you guys have been there for me so much during this year so tonight I do want to make a post trying to recognize a lot of people within the community. My head is pretty fuzzy right now so I fear I'm gonna forget some folks, in which case I'm honestly genuinely very sorry, but know that so many of you have touched my life in a positive way. Since I wasn't fully around on Thanksgiving either, consider this my chance of telling you all that I'm thankful for you too.

Some of you may not see this. Either because you don't follow this blog or you've been offline for a while. But I hope even if you don't see this post you still are able to understand my feelings towards you.

At the moment I would prefer if people don't reblog this. I'm not the most comfortable with my out of character thoughts being spread around. However if you know someone in this but think they won't see it on their own you are welcome to link them to this. Also if you're mentioned in this and you REALLY want to save it, I guess I can't stop you from reblogging.

Ruler: It feels like anytime I'm in a rough spot you always have kind words for me. With how often you're in character I just deeply respect you always breaking it for me. You've helped me to feel safe in the community during a very difficult time. That means the world to me.

Annette-mun: I know we only met a year ago but you have become an incredibly close friend to me. Being honest, I rank you as one of my best friends. I have fun with all of the boardgames we play together as well as the connections we've made between a lot of our muses. I always want to recognize all the work you put in sending me those ask spams. I'm sorry that because of head stuff I haven't been able to answer most of the new set. It makes me feel as if I've failed to respect the effort that you have put in. But I hope some day in the future I can fix that. I'm very glad we're friends.

Vel: You're a really funny friend and I care about you a lot. I feel that sometimes I'm not sensitive enough to things that may bother you and worry I may have upset you at times in the past. If I have, I'm really sorry. You write Kyouko really well and your ocs are also quite fun. Thanks for letting me make Nagi. Sometimes you say things that make me feel you are self-concious about your blog and other things. So I just wanna reiterate that I am in your corner and here for you whenever you need.

Slap: I was shy towards you at first, I'll admit. It may not seem it but I'm kinda a shy person in general and I'm nervous to warm up to people, but I'm glad you joined the Touhou community. You're a really funny guy. I love reading your posts on my dash and now I also love playing the occasional game with ya. Your ability to do voice and to commit to bits is astounding. I'm really glad I met you.

Argo: You're someone who is always there for me. I really appreciate that. I left the Fate community for personal reasons years ago now. I'm very glad that, despite that, I still ended up meeting you. Because you've been such a good friend to me. I'm glad that you've gotten somewhat into Touhou because it gives us more room to interact. You've really been there when I've needed you. Often you apologize and say you don't do enough but you've done so much for me. You're special to me.

Hoche: Through all the struggles I've gone through you have been very supportive of me. You have been a level headed voice of support and advice. I think that if it were not for you I would have been worse off in many different circumstances. Aside from that you are a very talented writer. I find myself stunned by some of what I've seen you write. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for being my friend.

Zane: You always show me cool warhammer things and that's special to me. I also really like Nyalter. I love ocs in general, but I think you have done a phenomenal job in giving her a life and story that is uniquely hers. I find it to be quite inspirational and it really pushes me to work harder on my own original characters.

Amber: I have mentioned this before but you were the first person to welcome me into the community. That is always going to be special to me. During that period when you left I teared up a fair amount because it felt like things would always be so different with you gone. I'm very glad that you came back. I really like all your ocs. I'm glad Eri isn't gone but I'm also really happy to be seeing the opportunity for your other ocs to shine as well. They're all fun, but I'm particularly a fan of Anna.

Kay: You've given me some of the advice that has helped me the most when I have been in a bad spot. I can't thank you enough for that. You've stopped me from making really bad decisions. You've also just been a fun and supportive friend. I am very interested in your Reimu and the story arc you've created with the hakurei god.

Swigg: I know we haven't talked much lately. I think our schedules don't line up the best. But you recently mentioned trying to get back into Tumblr. I'll be very happy if you do. Your ocs are fun and you put a lot of love and care into the canon characters you write. I think you add a lot to the community.

Sethy: I didn't know it for a while but back in the Fate community I followed your arknights blog and admired you there. I'm super glad I have gotten the opportunity to meet you and to become your friend. I think that all the things you do are so cool. Like you're a vtuber that's incredible. I always wanted to stream but could never work up the courage. You also know the creators of all the walfas I love. I just think its so cool. You have such a history within the community. I know that you suffered a very bad tragedy this year. I don't believe I was in a good enough headspace at that time to have provided you with the support a friend should have given and I deeply regret that. I just hope you're doing well.

Noka: I think you're a real sweetie and also really funny. I'm glad to see you posting on your sfw blog a lot more again because I really love seeing you on my dash. I'm hoping that we can do a lot more threads in the future because its always fun to write our muses together.

Minnie: Maybe the only person with the same brain worms as me. I know that lately we have not talked much but I hope you are doing well. I just wanna say that I really love your art.

Aurora: My apprentice and buddy, hehe. I know I haven't been around much but I want you to know that I'm glad you decided to join the rpc. You're so full of ideas and kindhearted. You have such phenomenal oc ideas and have such a talent for making danmaku. I think someday you may be the centerpiece of the community.

Sats: We haven't spoken too often but like Amber you were one of the first folks to interact with me in the community. Alongside that I find your writing to be phenomenal. As are your headcanons. The work that you put in to research, especially on folklore, is just so inspirational. It drives me to want to learn everything I can.

Momi: Hey Momi. It's been a while since you've been around and I miss you a lot. I know we still message on discord occasionally so its not like I can't reach out to ya. But I just miss you being in the rpc a lot. You were such a great writer and always doing something fun. But I imagine you've got a whole bunch of difficult challenges ahead of you. I've heard the career you're pursuing is really rough. I hope that you're thriving in it though.

Sarience: You've always been a good pal to me. I have a lot of fun writing with Neka in both forms as well as your other muses. There's a lot of asks from you I haven't answered yet. I'm really sorry about that. It feels disrespectful. Still I hope to be able to do more in the future. Thank you for always being interested in interacting with my muses, even when I was very new and unestablished.

Kyo: I really really like everytime that I see you on my dash. You write your muses in such a fun and engaging way. I hope that we get to interact a lot more in the future. I also know you've started something new in the last few months, not gonna be specific since I'm not sure if you've shared that part of your personal life on Tumblr, but I wish you the best of luck at it. I think you're going to succeed hard!

Ran: Ran I guess I just first wanna say I consider you a really good and special friend. When we've spoken you've often alluded to social anxiety and feeling like you've said embarassing things. So I want to restate that I've never been put off by what you've said and I love talking to you. As well as roleplaying and doing boardgames. I have so much fun pairing our muses up our causing wacky hijinks. I haven't seen you on your blogs much lately. Maybe I've just missed you but if not I hope you return to the rpc soon. It's not the same place without you.

Metal: You've been a long time friend to me by this point. Longer than a lot of folks on this list. I really appreciate that a lot. We haven't talked too much lately but I hope you're doing well. I also know not all of our fandoms sync up but I'm always down to interact anyways.

Nep: Hey Nep I haven't really seen you on Tumblr lately. I'm hoping that's just because we've been active at different times but if not I hope you're back soon. If you're not, I hope you're happy wherever you are. I think that you're real fun to write with and you've got original characters I'm excited to do much more with. I also believe that you had an event while I was gone that I'll hopefully be able to catch up on sometime soon.

Koi: I know I've not been around much lately but I hope that you're doing well. I've not really been in the headspace for horror lately but you're very good at bringing a unique horror flair to things.

Plumber: Hey we don't really personally know each other all that well but you're always making fun and wacky posts that I love to see on my dash. It feels like the rpc would be a lot less fun without you here. You also seem to be an incredibly kind person.

Kaali: A friend I've had for quite a while now but that I don't talk to enough. Sorry about that I'm just genuinely not the best with conversations. I have mad respect for all the work you put into your original characters and into your ideas. Like you really pull out all the stops.

Awoo: I've admired your ability to create interesting and fun original characters a lot. Several decisions I've made to develop my skills as a roleplayer have been inspired by you. I know you've had some mental health struggles of your own and I haven't heard from you lately so I hope you're doing alright wherever you are.

Sades: During some really difficult moments you were there for me when not many other people were. I'm always going to appreciate that. You're also the reason I got into Touhou. Which means that without you, chances are I woule not have met the vast majority of people here or found a community where I feel I belong.

Cobalt: I am always ecstatic when I see your posts on my dash. I love your Chen and think that you're a lot of fun. I have not been around much but when I have been I've seen you talking about things like not feeling you have much to do in the community. I can't make decisions for you but I do want to say that I think you are a fundamental piece of our rpc. I would be sad not having you here.

Teeps: I was shy about approaching you at first but you're incredibly cool. A lot of the fandoms you are in I'm not in but your posts get me interested in them anyways. Like I have no clue who that green sonic character is but you give her such an energy. I'm real glad to know ya. As far as the 2hu rpc goes you've been around a lot longer than me and I love hearing your own personal that you've developed.

Cait: I need to pop in and catch your streams more. I think that you're very cool to see on the dash. I especially love the way that you write your Sakuya. I really cherrish her interactions with my Reimu.

Sev: First of all. A while ago you sent me a very kind message wishing me well in my mental health struggles. I was not in the best place then so I did not appropriately respond. So thank you for that it truly meant a lot to me. I believe that you put a stunning amount of work into the characters you write, giving them so much detail and layers. Its inspiring and I just really want to appreciate you for it.

Hanafuda: You haven't been around much and last we spoke you alluded to a rough spot. So I hope if you ever see this that you're doing well. It was always fun having another Miko on the dash for mine to banter with. I also looked forward to seeing more of the other muses you played. Maybe someday you'll return.

Frozen: Everytime I see one of your posts it makes me smile. Honestly you've got some of the funniest jokes in the fandom. Some I don't get but I still feel they'd be hilarious if I got them. Also I have noticed you often commission art for other people. I find that to be a very sweet and kindhearted thing. So I consider you to be the heart of the community.

Fox: I don't know you very well but I've recently seen your multimuse popping up and it seems very fun. So I want to get to know ya in the future.

Chiru: We've not really spoken but I think you make some really great posts. Very well written headcanons and roleplays. So I just wanna say I'm always happy seeing you on my dash.

Draco: you're not in the touhou fanbase but you have been a long time friend. I haven't heard much from you lately so I hope you're doing well. I'm here if ya need me.

Sturm: I think that all your fairy posts are incredibly. You truly are a star of my dashboard. Hopefully someday we'll interact more. I'd like that.

Xana: You seem to have so much lore for your blogs, its really cool. It seems you've been around a long while so there's a lot of history. Someday I'd like to sit down and hear all about it from you. I also find your writing to be quite fun.

Jacob: we don't interact too much but I'm always excited to see someone posting walfas images. So that has always made you stick out in my dash and brighten it. Hope you're doing well.

Geisthonoredferry: As of yet, I don't believe we've interacted. But you're always liking my posts thst's something I really appreciate. Hopefully sometime I can get to know your oc.

Carp: Last I saw you were in a rough spot so I hope things are well now. You're newer to my dash but you seem very kind hearted and jovial. Also your ocs sre red as hell and go've got good face claim tastes.

Crim: You're a real cool friend with a lot of cool ideas. I love any interactions that our muses have together. Although my favorite is Kutaka/Eiki because it's somehow both a very obvious ship and yet a rare one. I think that they are very cute together. I also like the sisterhood of Reimu and Kisume. It's an unexpected but fun dynamic.

Mugenri-mun: I don't believe I know your screen name but you've been real supportive of me through my hardship and gave me a person to speak to. I would not be in as good a place without you. Also I'm glad someone is repping Len'en.

Kcmeiji & Closedheartedgirl: I wanted to note you both as you are both Komeiji blogs thay popped up and then disappeared while I've been got on hiatus. I just think that's a bit disappointing. The Komeiji are some of my favorites.

That's about all I have to say. It was kind of tough to word it all out but those are things I want y'all to know.

[angevinyaoiz]

saw Dune 2 (2une?), and since I don't have my dune blog anymore I'll post here, since blah blah this is my place for posting about Dynastic Weirdos. This is long but NO MAJOR SPOILERS, except about like, small detail things that aren't plot things but whatever

Tbh it was disappointing. It had all the correct elements to be liked but one thing grated on me the whole time...the Bad Dialogue and lack of Elevated Speech! Why the hell were all these characters saying stuff like "these guys" "we're ok" and "literally" it took me out of the fantastical world sOOO bad. Super bummer because what I loved about Dune 1 (D-uno?) As someone who went into it before reading or knowing anything was how much it didn't explain, how it let the visuals and the world unfold before you, and how serious and somber it was in a way that gave it a sense of scale and time.

I can only wonder if WB saw all the complaints and tweets about people being like "we didn't understand the first movie!!! It wasn't funny and quippy!!!" And decided to simplify it down so characters just SAY things really obviously and inelegantly. The writing has some competence in moving the story forward but there's no poetry or rhythm to the way characters say things, it's serving "Rings of Power" scriptwriting to me lmao. And it's not like any of the actors are bad? I've seen them do well in the previous movie and in other things, so wtf was going on with the direction. I know people complained Abt Villeneuve saying that whole thing about being more into visuals than dialogue but maybe he was right...there needed to be LESS WORDS. bc much of the words we had were NOT GOOD.

Positivity: the middle and latter part was where the movie picked up for me. The Harkonnen Freak Villain behavior was everything I could have wanted! Finally instead of EXPLAINING everything obviously we got to see a LOT of character building, for Feyd specifically in a very short amount of time. I know a lot of us complained about Bald Feyd-Rautha but Mr Elvis did a very good job. And we got Madame Fenring and weird scifi femdomming finally, which is Essential for the Duniverse! Wonderful fantastic no notes.

Of course, getting back to our heroes, I anticipated this 2 years ago sadly and it was true...the Fremen were badass but SWAGLESS. More Learned ppl have already written about the frustration with the erasure of the Arabic/North African cultural presence so I won't reiterate that here since I'm not super knowledgeable about the specifics of that but even as a casual watcher there was a weird emptiness to the way I feel the society was portrayed. There were individual good character moments, such as fun bantering among the Fedaykin etc, but for Pacing or Whatever they cut out the community aspects that served to make them feel more like well, a People rather than just either Grizzled Soldiers/ Religious Fundamentalists aka Marks/Panicked refugees. I have to guess this was ppl were like "we can't show a culture too cool and colorful and the part with Harrah (Jamis' widow) would feel too ORIENTALIST!!! But the result is something sadly very dry. At least in more older orientalist works, the interest comes from when the ~exotic~ stereotypes figures are able to have charming personalities and personalities and be known as people despite the cliches sometimes but this sadly wasn't even like that....

Jamis' funeral is a good example of this; in the Book, it's a moment where you first get a good look of what rituals are like in this world, and how people relate to each other and to the dead. In the movie, the funeral is looks more foreign and even a little creepy as the water is extracted from the body. There's not really a Personal or community connection aspect to it at all.

The ending was pretty good as it satisfied all the Cool Dune Moments I think we all wanted to see, and also did literally the end of The Godfather Part 1 Framing which was hee hee heh. Anyways, Messiah is MY favorite book of the series personally so curious how they get to that.

Maybe I've been too spoiled by Cool Historical Fiction lately? I've been watching too much of The Devil's Crown where action happens mostly off screen but the dynastic drama is written and acted so compellingly, the historical mindset and setting so alien and yet so human and relatable, it's frustrating to see when works try to do the opposite? Idk??? Dune books themselves is fun in how action is mostly an "offscreen, offstage"' thing.

*if ANYONE in the Universe is a quippy Bastard, it should be Leto II esp in God Emperor where he literally has nothing to do all day but quip all day to terrified acolytes

[inventedfangirling]

finished the gem that was 55:15 never too late :')

just finished 55:15 never too late and oh my god what a gem of a show!!! im so so so so glad i watched it.

i decided to give it a go just for nanon and khao but the show gave me so much more than them. idk why it took me till the last two episodes to get just how much emphasis the show was putting on the importance of friendships/ the platonic bonds in one's life, truly i can't think of the last time (probably heartstopper s2) where there was just so much beautiful expressions and forms of platonic bonds- the bonds between the 5 main leads (especially jaya and songphon, but also san and thep), songphon and mathee (from mathee's side it was platonic :3), songphon and his niece, jaruni and her father, jaruni's father and bomb, thep and his son, thep's son and san, thep and san, jaya and her manager -that you are my everything moment was really EVERYTHING to me.

as my usual practice of sharing my umpteen screenshots here's my most fav platonic moments from the last two episodes :')

who let him out of my pocket ughhhh songphon/paul one of my fav characters of all time now

one thing i've found it hard to come by in the shows i've been watching recently (bl dramas, mostly thai) is how there is next to no male interaction with women, and if there is, the bonds are very superficial or they stick to certain "acceptable" rules. so you could imagine my shock when i saw this scene of jaya sleeping soundly next to paul on the same bed. it is objectively a very normal/inane thing. but we just NEVER get representation of men and women simply being and existing as friends and doing friend things like sometimes sleeping in the same bed with the friend's pic on a frame that you're hugging (WHAT! ITS NORMAL), and so it really shook me. i love their bond so much :')

CUTIEEES.

also this moment...

as a person who genuinely believes that friendship >>>>>>>>>> every other relationship, seeing these words uttered between two lifelong friends made me tear up and HOW!! one of the most special things ive seen on media.

also not lost on me how my two most favourite platonic moments featured jaya who is the only character who isnt given a romantic storyline/sideplot/spouse. also point to note that jaya and paul are the only two characters who didn't get a traditional "romantic ending/closure" and they ended up getting such beautiful expressions of platonic love. LOVE that for them :')

that being said i cried at the part where phiphu read paul's letter and they put that montage of them laughing over it like HOW DARE THEY

i'm sorry but the mirroring in expressions drove me insane on first sight itself

eventho i found their love difficult to fully enjoy cos of the nature of it, this scene was just too beautiful not to love and im so glad paul got to express it

also khao looked so ADORABLE here i almost burst into tears not kidding!!!!

not to end the post without a nanon face appreciation pic- he was excellent throughout the show as expected and particularly in a fantastic scene in the finale episode that very few people could have pulled off like he did, what a frickin treasure he is.

bless his puppy eyes nose dimples cheek smile <3

to conclude what i wanna say, i wanna reiterate once again how i really REAAAAALLY enjoyed the show through and through

and while this mostly typo free post wont probably be making it obvious but im writing through tears, it was such a wonderful thing to experience. idk if and how much i would rewatch it but i think it's right up there with some of the best shows ive watched ever.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

[ceterisparibus116]

Honestly Foggy was just ill informed and instead of listening he remained willfully ignorant, maintaining a if I don't see or hear about it all, and if I don't like it, then it isn't there or doesn't exist mentality. He made Matt's actions into a personal betrayal instead of what it really was. I commend him for showing up and wanting to work things out with Matt but it didn't really mean anything when he really wasn't going to put in the effort to understand, he just wanted Matt to relent. Foggy made everything about himself, he needed to have some give and he wasn't willing to. He didn't really fight all that hard and say No Matt explain it all to me he was just like that's not what I meant but okay then take care. He didn't fight to be informed. (also on a similar note: seeing Matt work so hard to stop being DD in the defenders, so his friends would be pleased, makes that scene hurt even more,looking back. Matt,for a time, really did end stop doing something that did so much and meant so much to him, for people who made it all about themselves, and were ignoring the big picture of what he had been doing in favor of getting what they wanted and deemed appropriate. He tried so hard) I'm not bashing Foggy, I love him, but he was so wrong by saying Matt was inventing problems. The problems existed even if you didn't see them personally Foggy.

Hard agree, Anon! I've talked before about how Foggy disappointed me, so I won't go into that too much here, but I do want to simply reiterate that Foggy's feelings don't justify his actions. I've seen some posts, fics, etc. that essentially argue that Foggy would be a bad friend if he weren't scared for Matt. And I agree with that. Foggy absolutely loves Matt, I don't think that's in dispute.

But we have to analyze Foggy's emotions separately from his actions. Foggy's fears, though legitimate, don't excuse his behavior. Love doesn't give you the right to be hurtful, no matter how good your intentions are. And it's possible for us, as the audience, to both understand (and even relate to) Foggy's emotional distress while still critically evaluating his treatment of Matt.

Anyway, moving on, I really like how you brought up Matt's sacrifice in the end of S2 and beginning of Defenders. It's often said that Foggy constantly reaches out to Matt while Matt gives him nothing in return, but that's simply not true. Matt gave up what he believed was his calling. And I'm not saying that was 100% an act of sacrifice on Matt's part for Foggy and Karen; I think there was a lot of depression mixed in, especially after losing Elektra. But Matt's scenes with Foggy and Karen indicate that at least some part of that choice was his attempt to appease Foggy and Karen.

And really I have a whole essay I could write on the subject, but I'll try to keep it short for now. But it's quite personal to me. There have been many times when I've been so excited over a way I've found to help people, and that excitement has been confirmed by seeing that yes, I actually am helping people. Like, me! I'm living for something bigger than myself, and I'm helping people! It's amazing. And in the middle of that, I've had people tell me to stop because I'm not doing what they think I should be doing. It's like a slap in the face. I mean, it's one thing if they say "Hey, you're doing this in an unhealthy way" (which has definitely been true at times), "let's figure out how you can do it while still taking care of yourself." Or it would be one thing if they say “Hey, you may think you’re helping, but let me show you why you’re really not.”

But it's different when they essentially say, "I don't like the way the things you're doing make me feel, so you have to stop."

And that's what I imagine Matt feels. He has this calling, he's good at it, he's helping people every single night...and then he's yelled at because it makes Foggy (and sometimes Karen, although I think her issue is more with Matt's lies than with Daredevil) feel some negative emotion. Like...really?

Honestly, the situation makes me think of this song "Alive in the Lights" by Memphis May Fire, specifically these lines:

Maybe if you paid more attention Asked more questions and actually listened You would see this is not just a dream But a path I've chosen that means everything to me

Don't you see the minds that have changed? Don't you see the lives that have been saved? Don't you care to see the difference I've made?

Anyway, that got weirdly personal, but what can I say, I take my fandom analyses very seriously, which sometimes requires diving uncomfortably deeply into my own experiences. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tldr; Matt is not perfect, but he deserves to be listened to and understood.

[dragonofdarknesschaos]

I've been thinking (because I'm quarantined and bored, sorry )..how it could be possible for Jack to form a good friendship? ...I mean even if a person shows affection, good intentions or a real interest on his stuff... the chance of Jack's betrayal is still there. I don't know I'm wondering ..if he can have a healthy friendship.

*cackles*  Jack Spicer, as he is in XS, is not capable of forming a stable and healthy relationship, despite the fact that he desperately wants and needs one.  And if that ain’t the tragedy of the whole series.

The Jack of Showdown

Just when Jack finally starts to actually warm up and be open and honest about his feelings with others, he either gets grossly mistreated (“The Deep Freeze,” “The Apprentice”) or is presented with the choice of being loved and accepted, despite who he is and what he’s done, or giving in to his baser instincts and double crossing his new would-be friends to get praised by someone who could not care less about him (“The Apprentice”).  It’s difficult to tell if Jack feels he doesn’t deserve to be happy for some deep and personal reason, or if he’s so focused on being seen as EVIL™ and not good; that he believes he must take any and all opportunities to prove his evil worth.  Whatever the reason, the Jack in XS would need someone that will stick by his side no matter what decisions he makes, or what actions he takes to push that person away.  Someone who unconditionally supports him and wants to be by his side.  The problem is, that’s more of a pet and has the potential to become quite toxic.

The Jack of Chronicles

As for the Jack of XC, he has some boundaries, and he’s not quite as ruthless.  He knows he’s kind of a loser, but he still really wants a girlfriend to help boost his sense of masculine ego.  But more importantly, he just wants a friend, to the point that he was willing to pay people to hang out with him (just like in XS “Something Jermaine,” “Judging Omi” and XC’s “Magic Stallion and the Wild Wild West,” “Buddy Blue Ray and the Golden Bunnies,” and “Heal Me”).

Jack enjoys Wuya’s company, but she gets frustrated with his lack of action in favor of building capital or just having fun (the Golden Toilet arc, “Super Cow Patty,” “Tokyo Madness,” and “Omi Saves the Holidays” among many others).  Jack seems to have moved out of his parent’s basement, and is now in his own warehouse/factory, so he’s really trying to focus on starting up his Evil Business idea and often refers to himself as an “evil entrepreneur” throughout the series.  While Wuya appreciates the “go get ‘em” spirit, she still feels that Jack isn’t doing enough to help her, which is the whole reason they teamed up in the first place.  Because of her nagging attitude and matriarchal approach to the relationship, Jack often feels smothered and refuses to act.  However, he still has boundaries and refuses to do certain things if they are not in his interests as well (“Back in the Flesh Again”).

Jack and Shadow

With Wuya as Jack’s pseudo-mother, he needs a datemate to call his own.  Gone is his curiosity in Kimiko (though he does seem to think she’s still cool), but if it’s any other girl, he will do his best to impress her.

Case in point Willow--who he tried to ask on a date if he won the Showdown Trio in “The Fall of Xiaolin.”  She strongly states that she isn’t interested in him in the least, and because the two never see each other again, I would assume Jack dropped the pursuit.

Shadow on the other hand, he likely sees a lot of himself in her.  They’re both evil, admire Chase, they seem about the same age, and... that’s about where the similarities end.  Shadow’s actions say that she is repulsed by Jack, but she never pushes him away, and even praises his “doo-hickies” (“The Laws of Nature,” “Rocco”).  With the use of camera drones, Jack witnessed a lot of the private behavior and abuse between Chase and Shadow, and even some of the abuse in person ( “Tigress Woo,” “Rocco”).  Even the cold open of “Who Shrunk Master Fung?” features Jack being very careful not to harm a strange bird, who is later revealed to be Shadow.  Case in point, the Jack of XC has a streak of kindness in him, and it is unclear if Shadow sees that and resents Jack for having it, or if she admires that aspect of him.  Regardless, after the events of “The Laws of Nature,” where Jack effectively double crosses Chase (and her by extension), Shadow likely made the choice to never trust Jack completely.  She double crosses him at the end of their wonderful team up in “Back in the Flesh Again.”  And Jack doesn’t even get upset or angry about the loss and betrayal.  He’s even more smitten and tries to brag to Omi and Ping Pong before realizing they aren’t into it and flies off.

Overall Jack and Shadow have feasible grounds for a relationship--even a romantic one--if they could both create some honesty and trust between each other, but neither is willing to do that, despite Jack’s over sharing (literally every time he opens his mouth around Chase).  For further reading on Jack’s relationship with Shadow and Chase, check out this post.

Jack doesn’t interact with Tigress, Kimiko’s older sister, much, but he does bother to keep tabs on her and warns Kimiko about her sister’s more nefarious activities (“Tigress Woo”).  It’s unclear if he did this in an effort to get closer to the Monks as a friend, or if he was stalking Tigress because he was attracted to her.  In either case, Tigress is never seen again or mentioned by Jack.

Jack’s Other Interests

There are a handful of episodes in XC that revolve around Jack seeing or meeting another evil-doer and fixating on them, often trying to model himself after them in some fashion.  He does this with PandaBubba to a lesser extent in “Magic Stallion and the Wild Wild West,” then goes full blown fan for Super Cow Patty (in his self-titled episode) and later Le Mime in the same episode, making fan videos and full costumes with personas for both his fixations.  In both instances with the truly evil characters (PB and Le Mime), Jack was looking for a sense of acceptance by an Evil Businessman and entrepreneurial peer, and a sense of belonging to a larger community with Le Mime and his henchmen.  That desire for belonging to a larger community is reiterated earlier in the series with “Heal Me” and Reverse!Jack’s cult.

However, when presented with an actual fan of his, Tiny Sim, Jack is actually somewhat reluctant to have the fan tag along with him.  And maybe that was for the best, as Jack soon discovers that the fan he inspired to become Evil is actually a lot better at it than he, himself, is (“Drawn to be Evil”).  In retaliation, Jack confines the fan to being just a creative idea intern.  Jack is essentially taking credit for all of Tiny Sim’s ideas, and not paying the kid a thing.  Sim, either because he’s doing what his idol taught, or because he feels cheated, makes it a priority to take a Wu or two when he can out of Jack’s stash (“Mark of the Dragon Spirit”).  Sadly, the series ended before the relationship between these two could be further developed.  It wouldn’t have been healthy, but at least it would have been something.

Another important note, Jack does make the clear distinction in both series that the gallery of sellswords he pays to be around him are only in it as long as there’s money for them to be had.  They are not his friends, they will never be his true friends, they’re just people he pays until the money runs out (“Something Jermaine,” “Judging Omi”).  So Katnappe, Tubbimura, Cyclops (after their initial debut), and to a lesser extent Vlad will never truly be Jack’s friends.  Vlad does make a return in XS’s “The Demon Seed” to try and cheer Jack up (not that he’s very good at it), but he doesn’t seem to want anything from Jack other than to do evil things and pal around.  This is a bit of a departure from their first encounter where Jack was presumably paying Vlad to be his hired muscle and inside man (“The Deep Freeze”).

Jack’s Robots

Jack’s relationship with his various Jackbots and other robots is an interesting one.  It���s possible that he created them out of a sick sense of wanting to have friends that he could control, but it comes back more to how the bots are presented in both series.

The Jackbots of XS seem to have a hive mind of sorts, as they will blindly (and sometimes literally) follow their master’s commands.  Those that fall are replaced as if nothing happened to the fallen Jackbot; their numbers are legion.  The bots are later programmed with emotions and feel sadness, but not fear.  This is interesting, because Jack is shown having temper tantrums from time to time, but he doesn’t break things, only tosses them around (“The Journey of A Thousand Miles”).

Jack’s relationship with the more “custom” humanoid robots is split into a binary.  On the one side are the bots that went rogue and have tried to annihilate him or simply want nothing to do with him: Chameleon Bot, Robo!Jack, and the patent-pending Shen Gong Wu Detect-o-bot.  On the other side are the bots he grew very attached to: Yesbot, his Cheerbot squad, and the Shen Gong Wu Detect-o-bot before it went rogue.  Both Yes~ and Detect-o~ allow Jack to be more of a child, as he is depicted being held like a scared child with both of them (if I remember correctly.  “Oil in the Family,” “The Demon Seed”).  He treats them like the parent he doesn’t have around.  The Cheerbots are his hott Barbie dolls that he gets to dress up and maintain.  He doesn’t go much farther than projecting personalities and life problems onto them.  Eventually they are absorbed into the Jackbot hive.

Remember how Jackbots don’t show or know fear in XS?  XC opens with Jack having a tantrum, and many of his various designs of bot run away from him.  Jack is left cornering Chefbot, who has darts sticking out of his chef’s hat.  Rather peculiar for robots to be afraid of their master, especially since they are meant to be hoards of drones.  As Chefbot is developed as a character, Jack comes to respect his creation more, but Chefbot says he has no interest in hanging around someone like Jack; he wants to go places and be a real chef!  He can’t do that if he’s making paltry snacks for Jack.  Chefbot’s last appearance in the series is on a cooking show (either on TV or YouLook) making pizza, while Jack follows along from his RV.  Jack seems quite relaxed and at ease, even using the Banyan Twister Shen Gong Wu to stretch his body and the pizza dough.  It is never stated, but perhaps Jack is proud of his creation accomplishing it’s dream.

Thank You for Being a Friend

In conclusion, the Jack of XS is incapable of having a healthy friendship with anyone, either because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it or because he really is just a terrible person and pushes everyone away.  He would need someone to stand by and support him no matter what he does and no matter how horribly he treats that person.  Such a relationship has the potential to become toxic if boundaries are not set and if Jack doesn’t grow as a person.

The Jack of XC is desperate for a single friend, but 98% of the cast sees him as a pathetic loser, and not worth a second of their time.  Those that do see value in Jack’s companionship have all been hurt by Jack’s betrayal and lack of trust, or have betrayed Jack, because they have no trust in him (often from a previous encounter).  For this Jack to form a stable friendship, he needs someone who he can talk to honestly, openly, and not be judged for his feelings, and he seems to want someone who talks the same way to him.  He’s ready for a relationship, he just doesn’t have the rapport or trust built up with anyone.

TL;DR

Jack lacks basic trust in all his relationships.  He would need someone he can constantly count on, while also setting healthy and reasonable boundaries with that person.  If honesty and trust--ABSOLUTE TRUST--is there, Jack can have a friend, maybe even something more.

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

[aestherians]

Hey, just saw you replied. Mind telling me what kin is, in your words? All I've seen so far is people claiming they're dragons :/

The answer will vary from person to person (and someone who’s fictionkin will have a different interpretation than I do, since I am but a humble otherkin) but in my own words:

Otherkinity is an ontological phenomenon and otherkin are people to whom that phenomenon applies. That doesn’t explain a lot but stay with me.Ontology is “the philosophical study of the nature of being, becoming, existence, or reality, as well as the basic categories of being and their relations” (yes, I quoted that straight from Wikipedia). In other words, to study ontology is to study existence itself and an ontological phenomenon is a phenomenon relating to existence itself. There are plenty of well-known ontological concepts out there. Determinism, dualism, nihilism… All of them deal with what existence really means (or doesn’t mean).Otherkinity is a phenomenon concerning someone’s interpretation of their own humanity. You can neither convert to, nor disaffiliate from it, like you can with a religion. If you are otherkin, you are otherkin and if you aren’t otherkin, you aren’t otherkin. That’s what the community has come to agree upon during these past few decades. Again, I consider it to be an ontological phenomenon, first and foremost, and like to draw parallels between otherkinity and determinism. Not to say that they're prefectly equivalent, but they have enough in common that I can use one to clear up points about the other.     Both ‘otherkin’ and ‘determinist’ are identities that one chooses based on observations. An otherkin might observe frequent supernumerary phantom limbs and urges to act in a way that’s generally considered nonhuman. A determinist might observe that everything happening seems to be caused by something else. Both are, in a way, beliefs, but they’re based on some kind of evidence. More than beliefs, they’re fundamental parts of the way one perceives the world and the self.     Both otherkin and determinists ultimately end up looking for the moniker that most closely matches what they’ve observed, and add it to their mental list of identities.To reiterate, the key factor in being otherkin is that the identity is based on consistent personal observations and some kind of evidence. Not evidence that we're literally, genetically, or physically nonhuman, but evidence that we feel like we are.What I've described so far is more of an emperical phenomenon than and ontological one. So, where does otherkinity cross the line from empirical to ontological? In my opinion, when one starts speculating on the cause of otherkinity, both in their personal identity and as a phenomenon. Some would argue that we truly are nonhuman, while others would argue that we only express behaviors that fall outside of the usual human experience. Some would argue that it’s a spiritual thing, others a psychological, and others again that it’s a mix of the two. Some claim that our otherkinity must be here for a reason, while others say that it’s just a random quirk. It's not something that can be very neatly put into a box the way a religion or fandom or even a subculture can.With that out of the way, let’s get into the more juicy stuff. The stuff that people make cringe compilations about: The reason why people pick up the moniker ‘otherkin.’

There’s no official community terminology for these things as a whole, but I refer to them as ‘indicators’ (or more affectionately and less seriously, kindicators). The indicators that lead us all to the otherkin community to begin with. These are different from person to person and I don’t think anyone experiences every single one of them. This is most likely also an incomplete list:    Difficulty understanding humans - A common theme in these kinds of discussions is that most otherkin don’t relate as easily to other humans as most non-kin seem to do. I’m one of the lucky few who’s not in this boat, but my friends and acquaintances in the community have explained it to me. The most obvious example is in interpersonal interactions, but simply just relating to a human society can be difficult. If your mind is set on a bonobo society, it’s distressing not to live in a close-knit commune, for example.    Dysphoria - I can already feel you typing out an angry comment, but please just listen. Dysphoria is a common symptom in numerous disorders, and can sometimes show up without any clear underlying cause. Dysphoria itself is not tied to being transgender, so don't go yelling at me about co-opting the trans movement. What you're thinking of is gender dysphoria. Dysphoria is the correct termto describe feeling distressed about your body and species dysphoria is an accepted concept in modern medical literature. It's important to note here, though, that identity disorders don't exist in the DSM-V, and that dysphoria is usually treated as a symptom, not a disorder.    Homesickness - Most people experience homesickness for places they’ve never visited or where they don’t belong, so like dysphoria and difficulty understanding others, this isn't an otherkin specific thing. It is something that can contribute to feeling non-human, and something basically all otherkin experience. A whale therian might feel homesick towards the ocean, an angelkin towards the sky, and so on.    Intrusive thoughts - You’ve probably experienced these as well. An impulsive thought to do something or of doing something. In psychology, most intrusive thoughts are classified as either aggressive, sexual, or religious, though they aren't necessarily of this nature. These can contribute to someone feeling nonhuman. I, for one, have intrusive thoughts of biting, which I tie to my gnoll kintype.    Impulses - Also referred to as urges. An impulse in this context is a drive to do something that’s not necessarily considered human-like or which contributes to feeling nonhuman, such as rolling, chasing, whimpering, hoarding, etc. These can be controlled, of course, but it’s always a relief when we’re in a situation where we’re free to act on them. I think we've all run up the stairs on all fours at some point or another.    Memories - Kinda like intrusive thoughts, at least in my case, of being in a certain situation. Now, these aren’t necessarily actual memories, that’s just the easiest way to categorize them. I’ve had sudden images in my mind of wading through grass with hooves and of taking care of a calf. Some base most of their otherkin identity on memories.    Shifts - A shift is the most commonly used word in the community for a change in perception. There are many different kinds of shifts (including the supernumerary phantom limbs that most anti-kinnies, as they call themselves, love to get angry over), detailed in this post.

Now is all this caused by us literally being nonhuman creatures in human bodies? Who knows. But it’s something that makes us feel like we are, on some level, nonhuman, and that’s what being otherkin is about.Otherkin are… weird. There’s no getting around it. We’re as weird as any other subculture and a bit more. It certainly doesn’t help that, to the dismay of much of our community, a lot of our “ambassadors” have been less than helpful in explaining otherkinity. But, weird or not, it’s just the way we are and though it can be exhausting at times and we're harassed on an almost daily basis, we wouldn't wanna give it up. Otherkinity is part of what makes me the one I am and I wouldn’t really be me without it.

[dontcallmecarrie]

Hi there! I've got a question, what is Tony's threat level according to other intelligence agencies after all the snafu of TWIFFON? Like does CBI and FBI' opinion differ from Interpol or MI6? And what about SI legal? Do they have specific lawyers on threat watch and Pepper too? At this point I'm even wondering what does Bill Gates and other competitors think of SI legal? Are they crying in opposition? What was president' reaction over SHIELD' fall and Tony? What about FoxTV and Twitter?

Disclaimer: TWiFFON was created with accidental world domination as an end goal long before I posted the first chapter, as a spitefic in response to the fandom’s reaction to Civil War, and Tony’s treatment in particular. I am a very broke student who’s doing this for fun, as stress relief between classes and whenever I have the time. I am not a political science major, or economics, or business. I have absolutely no clue as to how a corporation’s run, or international law, this is just me derping around in the MCU and keeping my fingers crossed that comic book science covers for whatever I’ve missed and hoping for the best. [So if I screwed something up on the legal side, you’ll know why.]

Okay, now that that’s taken care of: the gist of what you’re asking can be found in a post I did a while back, on power dynamics behind the scenes. 

[more under the cut, because you guys know how I roll and RIP whoever’s on mobile otherwise. Because this turned into surprise SI meta.]

To sum up from that post: 

Tony and Co. are pretty damn formidable, but PR’s mostly on top of things to make them seem like they’re harmless. Whether or not it works depends a lot on a myriad of factors, including economics, political leanings, and location, and as I’ve said before the US has a different view on Tony than the rest of the world does. I’m not going to delve into specifics [this was supposed to be crack, dammit!], because of the above, but given that in real life the heavy pull that corporations have, I’d like to think that in terms of suspension of disbelief I’m not doing too badly. 

I mean, sure, there’s always going to be opposition, but a) Stark Industries used to be in the weapons manufacturing business, so they’re used to cutthroat politics even if they changed tracks a while back [and we’ve seen it happen, and will continue to do so in the fic], and b) I haven’t even touched on how comic book science influences things, like how Wakanda’s existence throws a wrench into International politics or Howard Stark’s infamous legacy [which is a story for another post].

I mean, in real life, the US really did a number on Latin America in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Now imagine what could’ve happened if SHIELD was also out there fucking shit up.

Or how Vietnam must’ve been like, because guess who probably got some of the contracts for supplying the military with munitions? Or just what might’ve led to a different sociopolitical landscape, because how would have Captain America’s image have influenced the Red Scare? Would Howard’s influence [via SHIELD, or otherwise] led to a different way of dealing with Iran? He was known to have participated in the Manhattan Project, so that’s already one change felt: how else did he make it into the history books?

Just…I could go on. I haven’t watched any of the tv shows, but…well. You get the idea. How influential was Howard, even before Tony was born? Bits and pieces’ll show up in TWiFFON, and some other things I write, but…well. You get the idea. 

Also: I have no clue how economics work in real life [again, broke student here, statistics’re more my speed at the moment], but…if NAFTA and the TPP can exist, in real life, and royally fuck up international economies because profits, then a fictional company that’s been kicking since before World War II and is currently headed by some of the sharpest minds in their generation is, again, not too far out in terms of suspension of disbelief. 

After all, Stark Industries is a family company. [Well…kinda.]

Sure, at the time it was also for weapons manufacturing, but still: Tony grew up knowing he’d inherit it someday. I cover this a bit in the PR interlude, and I think you guys might be able to see hints of it in the Legal interlude as well, but Tony grew up with Obadiah being a larger presence in his life than Howard was, and I forget if it got cut or not but in one draft the PR representative was also a known face. 

So, Stark Industries’ presence has been a constant in Tony’s life. Stemming from childhood, even, and we can see its influence early on, too: remember how he was 17 when he worked with PR to keep stock prices from plunging and thus avoid layoffs? 

Tony’s very possessive of what he has, when it comes to people. Add in a dash of spite and his issues, and you get a company that hasn’t changed its stance on vacation time in decades, or health insurance coverage for its employees since before the Reagan administration, and offered roughly a month of paternity leave shortly after Tony took over the company. [Daddy issues for the win.]

Sure, it cut into profits a little, but iit wasn’t like he was hurting for money. And Tony always had a patent or two ready to shut up the board whenever anyone tried to complain and the ‘hey our productivity’s way higher than the competition’ wasn’t enough of a reason to keep things as they were. 

Plus, remember how I said it part of it was out of spite? Tony’s mentally flipping his father off the whole time, but he’s also very smug about it because ha, that that, Hammer and your stupid budget cuts! 

And all the while, Forbes and the Wall Street Journal are all but gushing about how SI’s employee satisfaction rates are off the charts. Tony tries to make it background noise, because really, it should not be unusual to offer that much maternity leave, seriously, what is wrong with you people…and in doing, so kinda misses out on some things.

Like, for instance, just how diehard loyal Stark Industries is. 

There’s a reason everyone in SI’s so rabid about corporate espionage, and maybe money can’t buy everything but overtime pay sure goes a long way sometimes and turns out that on-site daycare is a smash hit, who knew? It’s not just the pay, really; it’s the company picnics with a line-item for property damage, it’s the rivalry Legal and R&D have that has the rest of the company eating popcorn, it’s in the top-of-the-line coffeemakers in the break rooms and free entertainment whenever Hammer Industries tries to do a thing and fails epically. 

Add in the way SI’s got some very strict policies on stuff like sexual harassment [because Tony may act like a playboy for the cameras but he respects women and won’t stand for it], and JARVIS’ assistance, plus Pepper being Pepper, and you’ve got a company full of highly motivated, hypercompetent people all united under the same banner and an employee satisfaction rate that makes the competition go equal parts ‘that sounds fake but okay’ and ‘just what the hell do these people even eat?!’ and that’s why, in the legal sense at least, Tony’s all but untouchable. Business-wise, SI’s feared and envied because Legal’s Seen Some Shit and PR’s handled two generations of Starks and good fucking luck getting a spy in. when JARVIS is in charge of background checks and all fellow coworkers are willing to go the extra mile if it means showing up Hammer. [And I haven’t even mentioned SWORD yet.] Again, SI used to be a weapons company. Sure, they’re doing more civilian-friendly stuff now, but that kind of legacy is really hard to erase even if you tried. You don’t get to the top by being kind, in that industry […I think; again, broke student here], and we’ll see that aspect crop up more as we go along in the fic, too.

Just…where other companies took a colder turn, went more for profits and took advantage of the tax cuts, Stark Industries didn’t change a thing. Jobs didn’t move offshore, and the international branches were chugging along well before NAFTA was put into effect. After all, unlike other sectors, they can afford to do so, because Tony takes pride in churning out top-of-the-line stuff [be it bomb, pre-Afghanistan, or the latest tablet or nanoprocessor], and, again, his genius means he can increase revenue without having to do it at the expense of SI’s employees if push ever came to shove.

Plus, I reiterate: this is meant to be self-indulgent stress relief. Suspension of disbelief’s a thing, this is the same universe where we have cryogenically-preserved supersoldiers running around and magic exists. 

To sum up: okay, now what you’ve got is a company of hypercompetent employees who’re diehard loyal and who knows how many resources at their disposal. So when things snowball…well. Really, it was a tiny bit of miscommunication, could’ve happened to anyone!

It’s just. Umm. Just a tiny case of world domination. 

[not going too much into specifics because guess what the fallout-from-AoU/buildup-to-CW arc’s even about, and I kinda went overboard with the meta enough as is.]

[sol1056]

Do u think the bad writing in VLD has been rife since the 1st episode? Or is this a new devt in S3? I've always thought the writing has always been oversimple since the start. I fucking hated that finger counting bit just about as things were getting serious and that was the pilot. And things always got resolved in like 1 episode. Like hello? They were able to bond and form Voltron in 1 episode? (1/2)

I dont get ppls expectations abt the show which for me has always been unsophisticated and juvenile albeit still entertaining. Maybe its just a case of BNFs headcanons being mistaken for canon by fandom bc of the long periods bw seasons. (2/2)

I feel like this is actually two questions, so I’m going to answer the shorter one (ahaha yes this is a short answer!) here, and get into the measure of writing quality in a separate post. 

When it comes to BNFs, I’ve gotten reasonably good at identifying their personal agendas masquerading as analysis. That said, yes, the long gap definitely gives time for head canons to percolate, and I’m not entirely convinced that this works for this kind of story. (Or alternately, that this crew of EPs/writers realize the extent to which one-season drops radically alter the viewing experience, and how storytelling methods need to adjust.) 

Truth is, I had zero expectations for VLD. I remember the original and let’s just say, I’ve moved on. On the other hand, my exposure to AtLA’s tonal shifts (from serious to ham-fisted comedic in nothing flat) meant I was used to gritting my teeth through tin-eared comedy-attempts like meat thermometers or finger-counting. 

And then there’s issue of unsophisticated or juvenile storytelling.  

I am probably not the only person here who’s been spoiled by Japanese storytelling, since most anime from a decent-enough production house will integrate levity and gravity pretty seamlessly. I think American productions’ humor isn’t an issue of skill, but symptomatic of deeper problems. 

The first, and biggest, is that American animation struggles to be seen (and by extension, seeing itself) as a valid form of storytelling. Animation is treated as a soap bubble (no lasting impact on the popular culture landscape) and cotton candy (inconsequential, mindless consumption). I can almost guarantee you that any writer or VA involved with VLD is probably asked semi-regularly, “when are you going to write/act/work on a real story?’ 

With that dismissal in mind, those radical tonal shifts (from serious to juvenile) can sometimes be a sign that creators are too-aware of this mindset, and too-afraid of being mocked for treating this like it’s a ‘real’ story. So humor is used as a wink at the audience: don’t worry, we’re not getting carried away and thinking we’re doing shakespeare, we totally get this isn’t worth taking seriously. 

[I hate that, by the way. Respect your goddamn story or find another job.] 

When humor is used organically, it works. Lance trying to create a cheer and Keith not getting the point is both awkward and kind of adorable, as a way to characterize how out-of-sync they are. But humor like meat thermometers signal not-taking-this-seriously, and you can tell, and that’s what makes it so jarring. 

And the reason you can tell is because the writers’ contortion is right there in the script. Hell, you can even see it in the way the VAs handle it, too. 

Allura: And it’s a good thing it wasn’t because it took you… Coran? Coran: Seventy-five degrees. Oh, sorry. No, this is a meat thermometer.Allura: However long it was, it was too long.

You could simply remove Coran’s entire line without changing the scene. It’s an aside, with no integration. And if you listen to the VA delivery, there’s a half-beat and the next line carries on as if Coran never said anything. There’s no reaction. It’s literally wasted breath, wasted animation.

To me, that’s a sign the writers were trying to juggle that tension between ‘this is for kids, it means nothing’ and ‘this is a crucial scene to establish stakes’. So they throw in silliness to satisfy the first, but integrating that humor would elevate it out of that wink-to-audience mode. Done right, comedy is as much serious business as drama, and both require seeing the story as more than insubstantial, forgettable cotton candy. 

The most important thing to remember is probably this: even if these writers believe in their story and want to do right by it, they’re still up against a powerful corporate structure that sees cartoons as nothing more than an elaborate way to sell merchandise. To that corporate overlord, a writer’s measure of success – people showing up at writer panels at cons, a vibrant community of fanfic and fanart and fanlore, fan questions on podcasts, basically so many people embracing the story, the characters, the world – means absolutely nothing to the corporate overlords if no one buys the merchandise. 

Let me reiterate that, in bold, so the bottom line is clear:

A stupid story with flat characters and cheap animation that sells a bajillion lunchboxes or gunpla or whatever will always be judged ‘more successful’ by the corporate overlords than any story that doesn’t move merchandise, no matter how well-told or beloved by the fans. 

To a good writer, the story is an end in itself. To the corporate overlords, the story is wrapping paper around the check they get every month: watched once, torn away to get the good stuff, and quickly forgotten. When you combine American popular perception of cartoons with corporate overlord agendas, it’s damn near a miracle we’ve gotten even scraps of any good from VLD, and that’s an entirely separate issue from whether the EPs/writers can create a good story in the first place.

(Meanwhile fandom collects every bit of the wrapping paper, saves it, cuts it up, tapes it back together in a completely new shape, and then gets into flamewars over whose reconstruction was the best.) 

One last note: I am, at the very least, pleased that the VLD casting director chose seasoned VAs with substantial chops. AtLA gave itself extra trouble by choosing VAs for their age rather than skill (oh god that was painful until they leveled up). VLD hasn’t made that mistake; even when the script stays serious, a bad VA can still ruin it with a wink at the audience and undermine a scene’s emotional heft. The VLD VAs have done a fairly good job of not dropping to that level, and in a few places I do think that’s what’s kept me watching even when other elements are substantially under-par. 

[kane-and-griffin]

Hey! So I know that you're the most famous person of the kabby fandom (and I love you btw) so there's something I need to tell you. I've seen a lot of people from the kabby fandom (which I am a part of it) getting mad whenever someone on twitter doesn't like Kane or Abby, saying that it's because they are ageist which I think is really annoying (like they start going off on them almost every time ) 1/2

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if they don’t like a character it’s not necessarily bc they’re ageist. I think that this is the reason a lot of people don’t like us so (if you agree with me ofc) could you maybe pass the word? I love you btw you’re an amazing person and your ff are the best 😘 2/2             

Okay.  So.  

There’s a lot to unpack here.

I have a lot of thoughts, some of which may notbe the thoughts you were hoping that I would have.  I do want to thank you for your very sweet words, but I also want to address a few things about this askI find extremely frustrating, not with the intent of making you feel bad butbecause I think there are some big conversations here worth having in a broadercontext.

First and foremost, and this is something most ofyou have heard me reiterate many times, I am a strong advocate of peopleaddressing their problems with each other directly.  If you saw someone on Twitter accuse someoneof being ageist and you disagree, that’s fair to say!  Social media is a free and open exchange ofideas.  Also, if you’re a member of theKabby fandom, and you witness another member of the Kabby fandom engaging inbad internet behavior, call them out!  It’salways better for communities to go collect their own people when they crossthe line rather than expecting others to do it. If your fellow fan tweets something mean, call it out.  We all need to do our part to shut that stuffdown and make the fandom a better place. But the right forum for that is to bring it up with the person whoactually said or did the thing you’re upset about, and not to bring it to acompletely unrelated party.

Which brings me to my second point: I’m extremelyuncomfortable being addressed as though I speak for the entirety of the Kabbyfandom.  I don’t.  No one person does.  Fandoms are communities made of individualpeople who have shared interests, but there’s no hierarchy. I don’t want to bethe Bad Fandom Behavior Police. This is especially frustrating when I getasks where one member of the fandom comes to Kabby Mom about something anothermember of the fandom did … especially when it’s something I wasn’t part ofand didn’t witness.  

And that, my dear Anon, is the big problem that I’mhaving with this request.  I don’t haveany idea what incident you’re referring to, what was said, by whom, to whom, orwhat the context was.  You’re asking meto agree with you that somebody was out of line, and that, quote, “that’s whypeople don’t like us.”  But I can’t grantthat premise without knowing what you’re talking about.  

(Also, by the way, I would urge you to let go ofspending too much time caring about whether other fandoms like us.  I can assure you, most of them honestly probablyaren’t thinking about us that much.)  

If I understand the situation correctly, and ifwe’re referring to a real incident and not a hypothetical, you’re saying that PersonA tweeted something negative about Kabby and Person B said “that’s ageist.”  You, Anon, believe that Person A was not being ageist, that Person B overreacted,and that B is the one whose behavior is the problem.  And that’s certainly one possibility.  But the other possibility is that maybePerson A was being ageist but neither Person A nor you have recognizedit.

And I cannot make that determination for you,because you haven’t told me anything concrete, and I wasn’t there.

I am also a thirty-six-year-old woman in a fandomfull of teenagers and if you are not thirty-six then it is entirely possiblethat you and I are seeing the concept of ageism from two very different andincompatible points of view in the first place.

That being said, if you want my opinion, here is my opinion.

First, there really is no excuse for being a jerk onthe internet, no matter what you disagree about.  There will always be people who love thingsyou hate and hate things you love and ship things you find incomprehensible andreject headcanons you treat as gospel, because we all fandom in our ownways.  So if you’re asking me, shouldKabby shippers get a pass on being jerks to non-Kabby shippers just because I,personally, ship Kabby, my answer to that is, “of course not, that is insane.”  Disagreement and discussion are always okay;Twitter is a public forum, and if someone voices an opinion, you get to haveyour own opinion about it.  But being ajerk is never okay.  

In general, I am a strong proponent of stayingin your lane. I’m a pretty ruthless curator of my Twitter and Tumblr feeds, soI don’t follow anyone who talks shit about Kane or Abby (I have a one-strikeblock policy with this), and I recommend this approach to everyone.  Make your social media feed your happy place.

Now, there are lots of people in the fandom who don’tlike, or simply don’t care for, Kane and/or Abby.  There are probably plenty of reasons forthis, and not, not every single one of these reasons is inherently ageist. HOWEVER!The fact that you did not see the comment in question as being ageist does not actually mean it was not ageistor that the person who called them out was wrong for doing so.  

Ageism is hardwired into the very fabric of oursociety – like misogny and heterosexism and racism – and just like with thoseother -isms, most of the time when we serenely think that we are guiltless ofit, we are lying to ourselves. And that goes for internalized prejudices,too.  This stuff is ingrained in us from birth. In general, the sameway I am inherently suspicious of white people saying “I AM ZERO PERCENTRACIST” and men saying “I AM THE MOST FEMINIST MAN TO EVER MAN”, I tend to takewith a grain of salt the words of people much younger than me talking about ageism in this fandom because I actually see it a lot.

And fam, we need to talk about the differencebetween fandom discourse about Abby and fandom discourse about Kane.

Now, your mileage may vary, but I will say thatin my personal experience, when I stumble upon someone who does like Abby but doesn’t likeKane, I agree that it frequently has its roots in reasons which are notinherently, automatically ageist.  Ittends to be rooted rather clearly in plot. More often than not, they’re still tripping up over something he did in aprevious season that they can’t get past. (We should probably save the conversation about our fandom’s selectiveforgiveness problem for another time.)  Theycan’t get past the Culling, or arresting/shocklashing/attempting to float Abby,or being too hard on Bellamy, or losing the election to Pike by choosing toally with the Grounders, or floating Aurora or Jake, or just in general being amega-dick in the pilot.  And that’sfine!  I mean I feel like you’re missingout by giving his four-season character development arc short shrift andignoring the way all the terrible things he’s done in the past shaped him intoa better person once he confronted them, but whatever!  The point is that, you’re right, thatreasoning is not, in and of itself, inherently ageist.  That’s not to say that there aren’t any fanswho straight-up just don’t like him because they think old guys are boring, forthe most part, when I see people dislike Kane, it’s a reaction to something that he did.

But we actually do need to talk about ageism andAbby in this fandom.  Because it is a big fucking problem. 

The problem with ageism and Abby is that moreoften than not, from what I’ve seen, when people dislike Abby, it’s a reactionto who and what she is.  It is absolutely impossible to separate itfrom internalized misogyny and the way older women are systematically devaluedby our culture in ways that sometimes we can’t even see as ageist, because they’rejust hardwired into us. 

Sure, every once in awhile you get an easy one,and someone whines on Twitter about “gross old person sex,” and then you canpoint to it very clearly, and nobody will dispute that we’re talking aboutageism here.  But it’s often so muchmurkier than that.  Ageism can look likea lot of different things, many of which you’ll believe are completelyunrelated.

Ageism can look like fans who show up in thecomments of the writers’ room Twitter and Instagram when they post pictures ofthe adults to say “nobody cares about them, post [whoever I personally stan themost] instead.”

Ageism can look like gifset after gifset featuring “leading ladies of The 100″ where they include Fox and Maya and Charlotte, but not Abby (who has second billing in the cast after Clarke).

Ageism can look like a blanket refusal, under inany situation where Clarke and Abby are at odds, to grant that Abby might havea point, even when the narrative is clearlytelling us that Clarke is the character at fault. The tendency within thisfandom for young girls who closely identify with Clarke to graft their own momfrustrations onto Abby is virtually never-ending, and it can be hard to sift throughthe the complex intersection of ageism and misogyny that makes it impossiblefor them not to see mothers as human beings who are interesting, who are wise,who are right, who know things their children do not, who are sexual, who areallowed to make mistakes, who deserve screen time and plot agency, who are justas vital to the story as the teenagers.

Ageism can look like giving Clarke sole creditfor establishing peace with the Grounders through Lexa, when in fact it wasKane who made the first contact with her and got her to offer the treaty in thefirst place, and it was Abby turning Lincoln from a Reaper back into himselfagain that cemented the alliance.

Ageism can look like shutting down Kabby shippersgleefully enjoying headcanons about bunker baby theory because Abby is “too oldto have a baby” – a misconception that has permeated so deeply into our culturethat we have all internalized the belief that no woman is supposed to have ababy over the age of 35 as though it is inarguable scientific fact, even thoughit may interest you to know thatis a myth.  (“What? How did I notknow that that was a myth?” BECAUSE OUR ENTIRE SOCIETY IS AGEIST TOWARDS WOMENAND THE STUDY THAT GAVE US 35 AS THE MAGIC STOP NUMBER IS FROM LIKE THE 1700’S,THAT’S HOW FEW FUCKS THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY GIVES ABOUT UP-TO-DATE RESEARCH ON THEHEALTH OF OLDER WOMEN)

Ageism can look like a fan who ships all thenon-canon ships … except Doctor Mechanic, because it’s “gross” and “Abby isbasically her mom.”  The inherentdesexualization of age-difference relationships is often rooted in ageism.  You don’t have to ship it!  But if you insist that no one should ship it, then there may be some ageism in the rootsof your ship-shaming.

My point here, dear Anon, is that if you arelooking for someone to tell you, “you’re right, Kabby shippers overreact aboutageism in this fandom,” you are barking up the wrong tree, because from where Istand, as a woman far closer to Abby’s age than Clarke’s, I’m going to venturethat we don’t talk about ageism enough.  And like many -isms in our society, if itdoesn’t appear to you to be that big a problem, that may be because it doesn’tapply to you.  (Yet.)

Now, to be clear – before someone sends me anangry rebuttal to this – not in a million years am I saying that it makes you inherently ageist if you don’t shipKabby.  Just like it doesn’t make you inherentlyhomophobic if you don’t like Lexa or inherently racist if you don’t like Bellamy or inherentlymisogynist if you don’t like Clarke.  Butall squares are rectangles, even if not all rectangles are squares.  By which I mean that, contained within thegroup of people who don’t ship Kabby, there is a lot of ageism, just as,contained within the group of people who hate Bellamy, there’s a lot ofproblematic racial shit, and it means we need to have a clearer understandingof where those lines are so that we recognize the ugly stuff when it shows upon our timeline and call it out when we see it.