#sometimes i like fictional man just because they neat tho

[burrowingdweller]

Hi!! I've noticed that you like a specific kind of fictional men when it comes to the VIBE they give otherwise physical look doesn't matter to you (like this is such a weird and funny ask but I noticed this and thought I'd say cuz I'm curious and why not 😂😂) but I'd still like to ask what makes you attracted to specific characters? What do you like to see in fictional men? I've noticed that u like ones that have a melancholy vibe to them....Also if you have any ocs show us please!! Have a nice day ^^

I was thinking about your question for a couple of days actually, like it's really good and I wanna answer it, but it's just so hard to come up with smth for me now... I think you're very right about melancholic vibe, even if character doesn't have it showed up straight - well, I will add as much as I need x)

About the ocs - I don't have lots of them and I don't draw them much, but you can find most of my stuff by "my ocs art" or "original character" tag

[sentientpaperbag]

Also, Ghost?

Oh boy. Ok lemme explain Ghost, sorry, this is about to be a looooooooooong post lmao but this is my current fixation so:

Ghost is a band. A band with fictional characters, and kind of a story.

The frontman is currently Papa Emeritus IV, or Copia. He's my favorite:

this is him.

Before him, there were three other Papas:

This is the first Papa, or Primo as the fans call him. He debuted around 2010

He is a very grumpy, very old looking man. He was the frontman until the next Papa took over in 2012

--

This is Papa II, or Secondo:

This Papa has his fans, a lot of people do think he's hot. He is also an old looking, grumpy looking individual but he's also been seen without the corpse paint

He kinda looks like Pitbull.

Anyway, the next is Terzo. The third Papa.

He's apparently a few months younger than Secondo but he doesn't look it. Also I learned recently that he's like 4'9 to make of that what you will lmao. He was Papa from 2015 to 2017-18 when he was forcibly removed from stage. I think it was because he started to make it about himself instead of the cause (which since this is a Satanic band, they're trying to spread the word of Satan i guess??)

After that, the current Papa, Papa Emeritus IV or Copia, became Papa. But before he was that, he was Cardinal Copia, and he looked like this:

Now when I first found out about this band, I thought these were all different people, but it turned out, they're all the same guy, and you can kinda tell in some of the pictures that he's wearing a mask. He had several made for the different characters.

This is the man behind the mask, and the band, he's the singer and songwriter. His name's Tobias Forge:

He's a dude from Sweden who came up with this elaborate storyline and band and honestly it's super neat. He kept his real appearance hidden for a while but ultimately due to some drama he finally came forward. He seems like a really cool guy from what I've seen

FUN FACT: Today's his birthday actually :D

But back to the storyline of Ghost, so there's one other Papa aside from the four current frontmen, and he's actually NOT played by Tobias.

Papa Nihil:

Primo, Secondo, and Terzo are his sons (and it's heavily implied that Copia is his son as well)

He's kind of the head Papa of all Papas, kind of a more Pope-like Pope I guess? He's a very grumpy man who doesn't like Copia and really didn't like that Copia got to become Papa, despite Copia being a fun character that the fanbase has ended up loving tremendously.

Also Papa Nihil is dead. Sometimes at concerts they bring his "dead body" out and revive it so he can have a saxophone solo in the instrumental song Miasma.

Then there's Sister Imperator

this is her when she was young, she's older now obviously but they've changed her actress several times. Here's some of her different older looks:

She's basically the real brains behind the operation of the Ghost Project, and she and Papa Nihil were in a relationship when they were younger (however, he fucked that up by being a bit of a player)

It's heavily implied she's Copia's mother, hence why Nihil is implied to be his father. She is the reason Copia became Papa, it was her choice.

Other characters include the ghouls! The bandmates for concerts, they usually have masks covering their faces:

this is their current look. Very steampunk-y.

So TLDR: Ghost is a Satanic themed band made by a Swede who was super into metal growing up and made a whole fictional group of characters in the process. They have videos on their youtube that show Copia becoming Papa and stuff. They actually just released a new vid not too long ago that might be implying something is going to be happening to Papa IV soon, cuz the previous Papas were killed.

It's a lot of fun and I don't take it too seriously cuz it's clear they're having fun with this, and the fanbase seems really cool from what I've seen. I'm leaving a lot out but that's cuz there's just... so much. It's really cool tho I recommend them

Someone once said their music sometimes sounds like Scooby Doo chase music, and yeah... Yeah it does.

Some song recommendations!:

Cirice (spelled exactly like that. this song got them a grammy!)

Year Zero (very heavily Satanic inspired but good God the song goes hard)

Mary on a Cross (classic, "the Tiktok song", also the first song I heard by them)

Hunter's Moon (FUN FACT THIS SONG WAS USED IN THE END CREDITS FOR HALLOWEEN KILLS!)

Call Me Little Sunshine (this song is so good holy shit. It almost got a grammy)

Square Hammer (this one has such a cool music video to go along with it tbh)

there's more but I've made this post way too long as it is so I suggest doing some digging by looking at wikis. I'd say look around on tumblr but the Ghost fanbase is kinda horny for the Papas and ghouls so be careful (i'm not kidding the fanbase is very horny for the characters... To be fair, there's lots of sexual humor at the concerts coming directly from Papa Emeritus and the Nameless Ghouls)

oh one last thing!

Copia got to throw the first ball at an MLB game and it's really fucking funny to think about

[khaotungsfirst]

ali‘s embarrassing celebrity crushes throughout the years

thank you to @fengqing for wanting me to expose myself, i hope y’all don’t judge me too much 🥴i had to go through my archive to remember most of these cause as fast as these crushes hit me sometimes, some of them went away just as quickly.

tagging: @schnaf @manhasetardis @morifinwes @xiaodaozhang​ @huigusu​ @yibocrisis​

ok here we go, putting it under a read more cause this got long

MEN (since 2006)

tom kaulitz nothing more attractive to 10 year-old me than this 15 year-old with dreadlocks and pants that hit the floor askdjhgkjfdg

joseph gordon-levitt i..... can’t even explain this?? lmao.. i mean inception was and is my favourite movie but not because of him so like??

niall horan niall girls unite!! i was a niall girl until i got into larry and then that was all i cared about for a long time ksadjgkdf but i still love him!

dan howell he was funny and british, that’s it

dylan o’brien listen every teen wolf fan was mainly there for him, don’t even lie about it

seb stan holy shit i was crushing on him so hard after the winter soldier came out. he was the epitome of perfection to me! this was a big one for me but it went downhill once he started growing out his hair afgkjdfgjkd retrospectively i’m not sure if i was only thirsting after him because everyone else on my dash was doing it (also does anyone remember political animals??)

dane dehaan oh god..... listen, it’s all the fault of the amazing spiderman 2! also his look is so versatile like in some photos he looks really nice and in others..... 😬yikes lmao skdjgfdk idk man

loïc nottet this was a short-lived crush but he absolutely killed it at the 2015 esc and tumblr went wild over him so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

marc bartra so we’re getting into football players now and just look at him! he joined my favourite team (bvb) and i immediately loved him cause he made such an effort to integrate himself. after the team bus was attacked and he got injured my love for him only increased. he just seems so sweet and nice aaahh

niklas stark idek how i came to know abt him cause he plays for hertha which i don’t care abt aksjgjghjf but he has such a beautiful smile i think that’s what got me

andré silva i just thought he looked neat (still does but he doesn’t blow me away anymore)

héctor bellerín 2016 bellerín?? oof!! don’t look him up on google tho, he’s had a lot of... questionable hair and fashion choices throughout the years 🥴the way we all dragged him for it was really funny tho. i still love him he’s a great guy always supporting good causes

arón piper listen earrings and curly hair maketh the man

matthías tryggvi haraldsson once again a crush resulting from esc. he was my icon before i turned into a mdzs blog. i don’t even think he’s super attractive, i just love the contrast between hatari matti and normal matti

harry styles i’ve given in to the harry supremacy propaganda. he really is my favourite 1d member these days, musically-wise and looks-wise

bill kaulitz we’ve come full circle!! nowadays bill is my favourite kaulitz twin. it’s funny cause they literally have the same face so it all just comes down to how they present themselves and bill is just my preference

MEN (recently/currently)

wang yibo i don’t even have words!!! his look, his personality, his talent just!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!! (as we all do) (also big genvy causer)

lesbian yibo this gets a separate bullet point cause i had this realisation like two weeks after falling for regular yibo but oh boi am i gay for her

xiao zhan he’s just.. so pretty and lovely. i thought about putting wwx into the fictional characters category cause i think xz looks the prettiest as wwx but xz as a person just seems so nice and down to earth that i had to put him here

bright (vachirawit chivaaree) a baby!!! his smile is so pretty and overall he gives off very ~soft~ vibes. also how does he look so good when crossdressing??

boun (noppanut guntachai) once again the jewellery got me. boys with earrings really will be my downfall one day... (this is not to say that he isn’t pretty without them, his face is also very much up there on reasons why i stan him)

tul (pakorn thanasrivanitchai) get you a man who is as comfortable in his masculinity and sexuality as tul

felix lee will i ever get over the dissonance between his looks and his voice?? probably not. also he’s just a fucking cutie

hyunjin felix might be my bias (oh god i’m starting to speak in kpop lingo) but i’m also kinda simping for him, what can i say?

WOMEN (sadly not as many but you know, heteronormativity)

scarlett johansson literally everyone on this planet thinks she’s hot and they’re right (yeah she’s kinda problematic but i can still appreciate her looks)

halsey remember when halsey used to kiss her fans at her concerts?? completely unrelated to that, i really wanted to go to one of her concerts..... 🙃 also i once dyed my hair blue bc of her

kiko mizuhara she was fancast as blue from the raven cycle so many times and i was so on board with it cause in my head she fit the character perfectly but maybe that’s just because i thought she was really really beautiful and wanted to see more of her 🤷🏻‍♀️

rihanna i mean... c’mon

michelle phan oh man this goes way back.. she was one of the first youtubers i watched in like 2010 before i even played with makeup myself. she just always gave off such calming vibes and she seems so nice. also look at her 😍

zendaya oof zendaya is a big one for me. she’s just so fucking beautiful just... how?? what??? i- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lena i started actively following her on ig after she released her last album in 2019 (which is great btw) and... damn girl do i want to be you or date you??

xuan lu oh god she’s so adorable but then also so hot but then also so etheral but then also so cute but then also so beautiful but then also s-

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

stefan salvatore (tvd) gotta love how even at 14 i already knew not to make the toxic choice 😊

legolas (lotr) if you didn’t have a legolas phase you’re lying

draco malfoy (hp) if villain bad then why sexy?

anakin skywalker (star wars) if villain bad then why sexy? 2

noora amalie sætre (skam) she’s just really pretty, ok? the red lipstick didn’t help either...

chris p (skam) if villain bad then why sexy? 3 (ok he’s not a villain but he’s an asshole)

tokio (money heist) hhnnnnnnnggggggg girl with a gun make brain go brrr

wen qing (the untamed) funny how in the show i’m simping for wq but irl i prefer xuan lu... someone explain that to me. but anyways, she’s pretty, she’s fierce, and she looks fucking hot in red

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pok��mon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

[lord-owlsnake]

Answer 30 questions and tag some people you’d like to get to know better!

Tagged by @amandagaelic 

Name: Desmond. But you can just use Des.

Gender: ehhhh *vague wiggly hand gesture* (preferred pronoun is they)

Star Sign: Leo 

Height: 5′8″

Time: 5:46PM

Birthday: August 1st

Favorite Bands: Oh boy that’s A Lot uhhh Amaranthe, Bleachers, Brown Bird, Imagine Dragons, Mumford & Sons, Poets of the Fall, Man With A Mission, Rise Against, Sabaton, Shinedown, Thrice (there’s a lot ok that’s enough for now fhjd)

Favorite Solo Artists: Amigo The Devil, Kaleo, Kygo, Nathaniel Rateliff, Noah Gundersen 

Song Stuck In My Head: The Parting Glass

Last Movie: Uhhhhh I don’t think I’ve watched any movies recently?  

Last Show: Episode 1 of season 4 of 9-1-1

When Did I Create This Blog: oh god i think sometime in late 2011??

What Do I Post: Whole mess of stuff. Fandom, animals, videogames, anything that catches my eye, really. 

Last Thing I Googled: I think I was looking up symptoms of a sinus infection lmao

Other Blogs: Nah this is my main. I used to be Impalallama tho. Still have that name hoarded.

Do I Get Asks: Occasionally. Not super often tho. 

Why I Chose This URL: Mostly because my lil mascot is an owl/snake hybrid thing  

Following: 347 

Followers: 2042 

Average Hours Of Sleep: not too sure actually. I wake up a lot and roll around. Maybe 6?

Lucky Number: i’ve never had a lucky number hgfjkd

Instruments: I used to play the trumpet in middle school and I have an acoustic guitar laying around somewhere from highschool that I should probably take up again lol

What I’m Wearing: Rage 2 hoodie and sweatpants 

Dream Job: idk something with animals probably. 

Dream Trip: I wanna go to Italy real bad 

Favorite Food: Seafood. S H R I M P 

Nationality: Canadian

Favorite Song: Given And Denied by Poets of the Fall

Last Book I Read: oh man i havent read a book in years even though i used to read like crazy. uhhhh Canth got me the first few books of Deltora Quest because middle school nostalgia so i read a couple of chapters of that. But I used to mostly read horror novels. A LOT of Stephen King.

Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: oh no uh childhood dream is Digimon or Pokemon lmao. (Digimon for sure). Final Fantasy XIV would be neat. Eureka Seven because cool robots 

Tagging: hmmmm i think ill tag @altschmerzes @cannedcoelacanth @helheimrr

[shsldepressedlesbian]

Jesus Christ please tell me mORE about these characters I only know three things about them but I’m invested

hahhshahha im glad people wanna hear about them,, ok here we go, character info dump:

like i mentioned in a previous ask, the characters were created using sets of nine images, and thus they went through a certain degree of changes, though not all of them

if anyone wants to see me make the fic,, then i just might do it-

heres funfacts about the characters, cause as i noted before, i lovv them all very much:

Yuuki Mori, Ultimate Wedding Planner

Likes: bubblegum, streamers

Dislikes: wooly sweaters, dodgeball

D.O.B: October 12

Height: 5'1" 

- the protag girl,,

- for the most part, a very friendly and hyperactive gurl

- always carries around bubblegum with her

- her interesting in wedding planning stems from her grandmothers encouragement, as well as having many relatives, and thus shes attended a lot of weddings in her life

- neat freak

- surprisingly athletic

- social!! but shes a little judgemental of people

- would never intentionally insult anyone outloud

- incredibly persistent

- also has a very sharp memory and eye due to her job as a wedding planner, which helps with investigating

- avoids conflict if she can

- not hard to convince

- trans and bi, like all dangan protags are suppose to be

- smells like bubblegum flavored cake and lavender

Emica Abiko, Ultimate Student Council

Likes: blank paper, lavender

Dislikes: deadlines in general, decaf

D.O.B: May 25

Height: 5'5"

- the mom friend

- tries to be as friendly as possible but shes this close to snapping

- is surviving on pure will and caffeine

- orderly

- has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership

- her dad is actually the principal of the school, which is the whole reason why shes student president in the first place. because of this, she doesnt really believe she deserves a spot in the school

- ambivert

- 'takahashi PLEASE put that down-'

- smells like vanilla coffee and stress

Arata Abe, Ultimate Historian

Likes: globes, sunshine

Dislikes: tiny dogs, flat earthers

D.O.B: June 14

Height: 5'7"

- a classy man

- very curious

- and nosey

- writes everything down in his trusty notebook, which helps with investigations

- doesnt just study japanese history. hes interested in the past of almost all countries

- very neutral on almost everything, doesnt have many opinions of his own

- but one thing he does have a strong opinion on is hating hetalia (who doesnt?)

- dresses like a victorian

- acts like he hasnt had a social interaction with a human being in years

- smells like old books and cats

Mitsuo Nakashima, Ultimate ???

Likes: dark rooms, wifi

Dislikes: confusing websites, superstitions

D.O.B: December 25

Height: 5’6”

- has not slept in a week but its fine

- very insistent on keeping secrets

- not even his classmates know who he or his talent is

- chooses not to tell anyone his talent (for some reason)

- does not believe in luck. at all

- for a tired guy who has no sense of left or right, hes pretty cocky

- probably has a tragic backstory

- spends most time locked in a dark room

- will fall asleep in a random hallway

- it might be the fatigue and coffee talking, but hes surprisingly intelligent

- smells like dirty laundry and ramen

Asuka Ando, Ultimate Student Council Treasurer

Likes: jewelry, mythology

Dislikes: delinquents, air horns

D.O.B: January 11

Height: 5’8”

- that one blonde chick in every slasher

- very cocky because of her position

- convincing and manipulative

- also good with management as you would expect from a treasurer

- was a math whiz in middle school

- despite acting in control, shes very reliant on emica telling her what to do

- hides behind bigger people

- collector of jewelry

- smells like chokingly sweet perfume and bleach

Manabu Ueda, Ultimate Astrogeologist

Likes: tea, stargazing

Dislikes: broken glass, slime

D.O.B: October 25

Height: 5’8”

- a polite boi, admirable

- more or less on the quiet side, tho he can and does step in to say stuff, and he does enjoy conversation

- his talent is something he grew from his own ambitions, but rather, it was more of a family line thing. he still does enjoy astrogeology though, which is why he chose to continue it even when he got a chance to study something different

- as you would expect from the ultimate astrogeologist, he contains many facts about space hes willing to share

- compliments others pretty often if we’re being real here, overall more of an optimistic realist

- however, even then, hes more of a ‘act first ask questions later’ type of guy as well

- a bit on the vain side?? very proud of his looks

- is very attracted to women who can beat him up-

- smells like expensive perfume and moondust

Seiichi Miyamoto, Ultimate Slam Poet

Likes: ink, protests

Dislikes: alcohol, peer pressure

D.O.B: August 26

Height: 5’5”

- best boy

- despite having the public image of a very loud and passionate young man, in person hes a lot more quiet and polite

- very good with voice shifting

- pulls at his tie when hes nervous; because of this, its always loose around his neck

- was the rep of his class

- slam poetry is a form of venting for him

- has strong opinions

- cares more about others health then his own

- not shy, just very nervous

- smells like nature and scented markers

Tamotsu Fujimoto, Ultimate Tomb Guide

Likes: sand, the heat

Dislikes: slippery ice, pens

D.O.B: November 19

Height: 6’4”

- the dad friend

- has known masa since they were kids(they met in a hospital), and thus they are very close friends

- mature but also laid back

- gives good hugs

- muscular

- wasnt actually born in japan, but grew up in it for the most part

- his parents were archaeologists, and they traveled alot. he was always particularly interested in the history of egypt, rather than becoming an archaeologist like his parents originally wanted him to be

- strong sense of justice

- usually believes in redemption

- acts as a form of transportation for the others when their tired, especially masa and satoru

- smells like tropical drinks and stuffy places

Kamiko Yamasaki, Ultimate Tapestry Seamstress

Likes: luck charms, quiet

Dislikes: being the main subject of attention, jumpscares

D.O.B: March 13

Height: 5’3”

- babey

- grew up in a superstitious household

- believes that she has terrible luck and uses everything bad that has ever happened to her as proof

- because of her supposed bad luck, she spent a lot of time locked in her house, sewing tapestries as a way of keeping busy, before being invited to sailing integrity

- has a good eye and knowledge of fabrics

- has a whole collection of sunhats. sadly, she only brought two different ones for the cruise trip(not like she was expecting more than a weeks stay hhshshs)

- has a large family

- has many bandaids on her fingers due to accidentally pricking herself on sewing needles multiple times

- interested in folklore

- very apologetic

- has a low sense of self esteem

- because of her ‘bad luck’, she blames a lot of bad stuff on herself, even if it doesnt even involve her

- sensitive

- grows quickly attached to others

- likes to stay close to anything that she believes would bring her ‘good luck’

- smells like sunflowers and dirt

Kenta Inoue, Ultimate Parkourer

Likes: sneakers, tetris

Dislikes: being told what to do, stuck up people

D.O.B: February 17

Height: 6’3”

- angrey boy

- incredibly short tempered

- no one remembers seeing him ever smile

- healthy parent relationships? whats that??

- will stomp curb you

- easy to get flustered up, though he wouldnt admit it

- will not stop until hes defied gravity

- defining feature is his allstar sneakers

- smells like varying cologne and sexual frustration

Chieko Endo, Ultimate Chemist

Likes: friendly gambling, working out

Dislikes: romance stories, people coming up from behind her

D.O.B: January 2

Height: 6’0”

- the intelligent one

- serious and calm, keeps a clear head

- a true neutral

- has mastered the art of poker faces

- apathetic

- has a strong dislike of romantic things

- sharp minded

- surprisingly agile and athletic

- can recite the periodic table from the top of her head

- is always looking above the tip of her glasses

- no one: chieko: *anime glasses gleam*

- chieko, to seiichi: ‘ah, so your the twink’

- so edge, such cool

- smells like roses and melted wax

Masa Shibata, Ultimate Dream Interpreter

Likes: fiction, horoscopes

Dislikes: spiky rocks, flashlights

D.O.B: December 31

Height: 5’11”

- mythic bab

- tries to act all mysterious and wise but sometimes accidently slips and reveals she really is just a normal teenager who spends way too much time on tumblr

- has known tamotsu since they were kids(they met in a hospital), and thus they are very close friends

- actually spent a lot of time in the hospital as a kid 

- very blunt

- not good with human emotions at ALL

- not good at picturing stuff, will draw and whatever ends up on the page will -genuinely either impress or surprise her

- a little lazy if you will

- very interested in horoscopes

- holds grudges

- tamotsu translates her weird way of speaking a lot

- knows like fifty ways to get to sleep immediately

- instead of saying ‘good morning’, she asks ‘how was your dreams?’ to people

- keeps a dream journal, not for herself, but for everyone else

- smells like clean warm laundry and sheep

Fumiko Ogawa, Ultimate Lucky Student (or Blackjack Player)

Likes: the color red, praise

Dislikes: trivia facts, strip poker

D.O.B: July 3

Height: 5’9”

- has more of a gambler aura rather then a lucky student aura

- very proud of herself

- soaks up praise and compliments like a sponge

- a family girl, especially looks up to her older brother

- an attention seeker

- knows how to get what she wants

- doesnt really like the title of ultimate lucky student which is why she goes by ultimate blackjack player

- is actually not even a fan of talent schools??

- dresses like a 1940s stage dancer

- smells like raspberries and cash

Kohaku Ono, Ultimate Murder Mystery Novelist

Likes: horror movies, plot twists

Dislikes: overdone tropes, being looked up to

D.O.B: May 9

Height: 6'3"

- a polite bab

- very honest

- handy in investigating due to their knowledge and imagination

- has very low self esteem

- considers themself a borderline 'villan', despite doing their hardest to be nice to everyone

- warns everyone about themself, but characters who were in the same class as them have just gotten use to it

- very uncomfortable with praise and being called a 'role model'

- helps others to their best ability

- compares many situations to varying books, including their own

- unintentionally ominous

- writes using a typewriter rather then a computer or laptop

- smells like peppermint and typewriter ink

Aika Kouki, Ultimate Vintage Collector

Likes: buttons, dial up phones

Dislikes: being ignored, boredom

D.O.B: August 10

Height: 5'5"

- would and will add 'chan' to the end of everyones names

- grew up in a family that was very about keeping things 'old fashioned'

- resents the term 'boomer'

- talks like a 2000s teen

- very energetic and cheerful

- uses old fashioned slang often

- 'thats wack, brosiki'

- expresses interest in being other people

- very praising of others, often talking how 'jealous' she is of them

- overall very positive

- she and yuuki have known each other since grade school, even though they arent paticularly super close friends

- watched a lot of sailor moon as a kid

- modern tech impresses her more then it should

- smells like 1950 perfume and the outdoors

Satoru Takahashi, Ultimate Marine Biologist

Likes: sea otters, the water

Dislikes: his height, fish nets

D.O.B: December 5

Height: 4'8"

- its the tiny boi

- would unironically threaten your kneecaps

- is very sad about not seeing any marine animals during their cruise

- is insecure about his height but wont admit it

- often asks taller, stronger people to carry him on their shoulders(kenta refuses, but tamotsu is fine with it)

- very bold

- says whatever comes to his mind

- it started out as a joke, but he probably has a tentacle kink-

- adventurous young lad

- usually very friendly, but not hesitant to call out what he feels is bullshit

- calls kenta, mitsuo, and chieko 'edgelords'

- spaces out a lot

- smells like salt water and wet fur

Usagi Shimizu, Ultimate Runaway/Explorer

Likes: the forest, music

Dislikes: closed in spaces, car lights

D.O.B: September 1

Height: 5'4"

- very quiet

- has had many foster parents

- technically, shes listed as the ultimate explorer in the academy, but everyone refers to her talent as 'ultimate runaway' due to her reputation

- shy, but can be loud if she wants to

- surprisingly smart when asked questions

- usually calm, but it isnt hard to get her riled up

- everyone expects her to be some sort of delinquent due to her history of running away from her many homes, but really shes basically the opposite

- usually goes with whatever everyone agrees to

- takes many pictures of nature, and posts them to social media

- blushy

- smells like bushes and granola bars

[hallucinosims]

Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing

I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch

125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first

I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm) 

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either 

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3

75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself  i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.

[zorilleerrant]

Prose Poetry and Creative Essays

Prose Poetry

an amorphous thing A poem about misogyny, in all its forms. I never quite got the ending to do what I wanted, but overall I think it’s strong.

let me tell you something about not being confident in your writing A poem about writing and your feelings about what you’ve written. It’s supposed to be inspirational probably.

I have a poem about gatekeeping. someone probably told me I wasn’t allowed to use the word queer (again) or like accused me of not understanding queer history? I don’t know it happens. this poem is probably triggering if you’ve got issues with violence generally or queerphobic violence in specific

queer is another poem about gatekeeping. prose poem. I don’t know man people keep going on about bullshit

just the same prose poem about intersectionality and bigotry and how people always conflate everything into neat little soundbites. there’s a bit about reylo at the end there, too, because I kept seeing shit about it at the time, so watch out if that’s a thing for you

Survivorship Bias prose poem about how everything is doomed and there’s too many things to try to deal with, and also I have terrible depression

straight privilege a vent poem because people don’t understand how privilege or normativity works and it makes me cry

the happily ever after prose poem about how people claim to support artistic freedom and then go and try to curtail artistic freedom. vent. like yeah it’s about spn but it’s also about every other major franchise. fans are. Like That sometimes

portrait of the artist prose poem about social expectations in the huge push of purity culture and yes I was going crazy trapped inside why

bottlenecking prose poem about why I’m so tired of people talking about ‘diverse fiction’ and they don’t really mean diverse they just mean gay or whatever

Ode to people on the internet mocking other people on the internet for being on the internet as if they, somehow, are on a different, less embarrassing, internet that they oughtn’t feel shame for A poem about people who are very concerned with whether or not you are currently touching grass

Creative Essays

This is a knowable fact This is either an essay or a poem, depending on how you look at it, about sort of generally racism in America. I still think it’s one of my better pieces of writing, even rereading it years later.

on good and evil about how bigotry is learned (and, sort of, unlearned) and why attitudes about it make no sense

there is no one community sort of an essay sort of a rant on how the fuck we’re supposed to navigate the fuckery that is the alphabet soup

Fanfic isn’t this is an essay pretty much. but it’s about how crap fanfic exists but that’s the entire point of literature

Satire

How White Women Write Books A little satire piece along the same lines as the ones people write about Every White Dude. Same MFA class and everything. You’ve seen this stuff before you know her.

Artemis Fowl Movie Review I hated this movie! Here’s why. (Satire. But I really did hate the movie tho,)

How to Write a Fantasy Protagonist satire. yeah this is only about women-centered fantasy series because I can’t stand reading the ones about men. I mean I could make a joke post about that too but it would be much more annoying and less funny. this is mostly a rant about my problems with the genre tho

Thoughts

okay. so. musing about writer’s block, self-esteem/mental illness, and the thought processes that go into writing. maybe a prose poem? I don’t know what you would call this particular form

The Maze Runner book review Musing on the worldbuilding problems in the book and how writers can and should do better than that.

buffy this was in response to discussion about what changes should be made to buffy in a remake. anyway it’s somewhat humorous but is mostly about how the actual show ignores race issues and the fandom doesn’t often seem to want to contend with that. also very queer but that’s just because if I were making a TV show I just would make it incredibly queer because why not. it’s not really a story it’s a description mostly, like AU where

this one dream I had no it’s literally a dream I had but it’s a funny story

christmas movie concept it’s christmas and there is a horrible goose

[clocktowncourage]

Oh hm, I'm making some changes! Muses who have threads aren’t going anywhere.

I won’t be writing flight rising dragons here, just because the cheery virtual pet site energy doesn’t mesh well with my plans for this blog, I write darker themes sometimes, like trauma or monsters or whatnot. I don’t think anyone showed up to write specifically because of them, anyway. I could see myself writing flight rising dragons on a sideblog, but it’s not a priority now. Flight rising is a neat little site tho! If you don’t have any dragons on there you should totally get some.

Instead of dragons, I’ll be adding Nessus from Ringworld. More thoughts under the cut.

Nessus is a sort of horse/snake alien, and I have some old fanart of him here [xxx]. Ringworld is... it’s something. It’s a neat little book, without being perfect. It’s a classic of the genre. It has really thoughtful & good scifi worldbuilding, memorable characters, and an interesting adventure. The aliens are well-designed; they’re different from humans in fundamental ways, genuinely ‘weird,’ while still being sapient. The author really writes them acting like their type of alien & not like a human, which I lov to see in a story. The worldbuilding is one of the best parts, the author explores a concept of a world that isn’t a planet, but rather a giant ‘man’-made ring structure around a star. As far as the bad, I won’t spoil it, but the plot really doesn’t handle a female character’s arc very well. First she’s written as silly and vulnerable and ‘available,’ then when she has more power and is no longer ‘available’ she’s written as sinister and unpredictable; monstrous, even; and there’s no in-between (and while she has power, she’s explicitly not given autonomy over it, in a weird way). There’s also an alien species where only the male aliens are sapient, which... it’s just not good, imo. The book has that sort of ‘boy’s club scifi’ vibe, which not only centers on a male perspective but also makes it weird.

All of that being said, Nessus is one of my favorite fictional aliens of all time. He’s a major character with a trauma thing that’s explored in depth and isn’t written as pure comic relief or victimhood. He gets to be a character. The other characters don’t necessarily accept him very much (they’re all kind of suspicious of each other, & in it for their own gain), but he has a standalone perspective and goals of his own, & it’s treated as natural that he’ll have autonomy and do things that are in his own interest. He’s written as having both masculine & feminine qualities by human standards, which I believe is a normal enough state of things for his kind of alien, and as a nonbinary person, I dig the vibe. He’s an interesting mix of powerful and vulnerable, and I think he’d be interesting to try writing. He doesn’t fit the cactus theme at all, he’s actually much more timid than sharp, but that’s okay! I’ll probably end up reading the book again before I really get into threads.

[melodramatic-glasses-character]

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood? - Free Bird, Lynrd Skynrd. My dad showed it to me when he found out I was learning electric guitar


2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet? - lovely lab/Doberman called Bella and a cat called Charlie


3.) have you ever been drunk? - many many times, amigos


4.) have you ever tried drugs? - I smoke weed pretty regularly (helps me sleep) and I tried Nos once at a friends house


5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said? - so many times


6.) have you ever made someone cry? On occasion


7.) has someone ever made you cry? - only once, ever, since my dad left


8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it. - I’ve been in love so many times and each time has been different and varied and wonderful. I was thinking today that those first few months of being in love with someone are some of the best experiences life can offer


9.) which came first the chicken or the egg? - seriously? The fucking chicken


10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them? - I’m bisexual, but I don’t consider myself part of the community because apparently I’m ‘straight passing’ or ‘doing it for the attention’ and I’ve never been really accepted into that sphere (me being a Christian probably has something to do with that too) But I’ll always support them because nobody else fucking does in this world.

11.) how many siblings do you have? - two siblings, and a half sister who I never see


12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love? - I’ve been in love with a lot of people. A few people that never got to show love to, and a few who I couldn’t love the way they needed me to


13.) are you a good cook? - I have a select few meals I can cook really well. The rest? Nah


14.) what is your favorite tv show? - at the moment, Brooklyn nine nine, but I also love sense8. I’m more of an anime man tho


15.) what is the last movie you cried during? - spirit stallion of the cimmoran, when I was four


16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any) - nah, but the closest I’ve come was the first time I ever heard Crash Land by Twin Atlantic


17.) do you have a middle name? - two middle names, but I’m not about to share them here


18.) have you been out of your country? - yeah a few times. I LOVE ITALY


19.) are you a chocolate fan or not? - I can take or leave it?


20.) how many people have you kissed? - I have kissed a large number of people and I regret nothing. Kissing is great


21.) what is your favorite album? - that’s a very difficult question. Probably Wilder Mind by Mumford


22.) what is your dream car? - @luxury-pie a yellow 2010 Ferrari California


23.) what is your lucky/favorite number? - 8. Never known why, but 8 is my number


24.) what is your favorite flower? - I don’t really like specific flowers. Daisies are pretty tho


25.) books or movies, why? - books, because I don’t have the attention span for movies


26.) have you ever been on a blind date? - no, should I have?


27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you? - no, nothing serious or hurtful, but…


28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends? - I have. Brutally and awfully and I regret it so much


29.) what thing do you symbolize love with? - love is doing shit you couldn’t care less for gladly because you know it’ll make somebody else happy.


30.) do you have neat handwriting? - I have the fucking worst handwriting of anyone I know


31.) do you have a friend with benefits? - nah, although I have in the past and really enjoyed it. She’s great and we’re still really good friends and chat shit all the time


32.) do you want a friend with benefits? - not right now, I’m more than happy with my girlfriend


33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be? - happy and financially stable


34.) have you ever been blackout drunk? - I’ve lost memory while drunk, but never blacked out. This particular occasion I had a race down a line of Jaeger shots and woke up in bed with a friends hot sister. No memory of the night after the jaeger race tho


35.) have you ever met someone famous? - not mad famous no.


36.) how many concerts have you been to? - too many to count


37.) which concerts have you been to? - awesome ones


38.) do you have a hidden talent? - I have a great many talents but most people who know me know about them. For tumblrs benefit, I play nine instruments, write fiction relatively well, sing fairly well, and give really good head


39.) what do you do when you’re stressed? - panic. And smoke. And sometimes if I’m lucky, I smoke some weed


40.) do you think money can buy love? - money can’t buy shit that matters


41.) how old would you date? - maybe 25 rn? But I prefer a year either way


42.) have you ever done something illegal? - a fair chunk of illegal shit yeah. Particularly as a teenager


43.) what is your biggest fear? - becoming like my dad


44.) what is an unusual fear you have? - long ass tunnels


45.) can you drive? - not legally, no


46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures? - angels and shit. No fucking ghosts though


47.) do you believe in karma? - good comes around, but bad shit sometimes happens to good people


48.) what is one quality you need in your partner? - they should preferably like me


49.) do looks matter? - as an added bonus, certainly, but they’re nowhere near the most important thing


50.) does size matter? - no it fucking does not


51.) who is the last person you forgave? - truly forgave? Probably my dad. He’s the only person who’s ever wronged me enough to mean that it’s a conscious effort to forgive them.


52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor? - cookie dough.


53.) what languages can you speak besides english? - none


54.) ever been on a plane? - yeah, I’ve flown a few planes too


55.) ever been on a boat? - yeah, but I prefer planes


56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t? - I’ve moved house so many times, so I’ve left a lot of people behind


57.) are there any friendships you regret? - no, no matter how they ended. Friendship, no matter how lasting or fleeting, is always a precious gift


58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make? - few of you guys in tumblr


59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours? I haven’t slept in the last 50 hours and I seriously need to


60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am? - oh yeah, loads. I love night time


61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through? - yeah my girlfriend and I cycled two hours to the beach at three in the morning so we could watch the sunrise together at five


62.) are you scared of rollercoasters? - nah I enjoy them


63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually? - a solid 6.75


64.) do you have any plans this weekend? - working tbh. On the bar


65.) do you miss anyone right now? - I miss so many people. Right this second I miss @merryanustrench and @luxury-pie


66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now? - those guys. Or my dealer, tbh


67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be? - insane jumping ability


68.) who is your favorite superhero? - someone from the incredibles


69.) are you dirty minded? - half of what I think is about sex


70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s? Close to Me by the Cure, Lithium by Nirvana, Mr Brightside by the Killers, and I Really Like You by Carly Rae (those are just ones I like off the top of my head)


71.) how many kids, if any, do you want? - I’d want a few, but always figured I’d adopt as well as having my own


72.) who is your biggest OTP? - Tom Natsworthy and Hester Shaw from Mortal Engines


73.) what is your favorite food? - chicken marengo


74.) do you want to be married one day? - always have, always will


75.) dogs or cats? - both are amazing, but cats


76.) do you drink enough water daily? - fuck no


77.) have you ever seen a shooting star? - my first one was last year


78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you? - nah can’t say I would, tbh


79.) how many best friends do you have? 2. One is my girlfriend, the other is called J and I love him to pieces


80.) when was the last time you cried? - only once since my dad left. Once in about six years


81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself? - nah never


82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed? - yeah I have, a family member


83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go? Canada, a log cabin in the wolves surrounded by wolves


84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself? - not too great


85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person? - I used to. But I think I treasure the idea of loyalty, more than I do actual loyalty in practice.


86.) what is your favorite season and why? - spring. Spring brings the life back and helps me to light up my life when I’ve been depressed


87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it? - yeah. Not proud of it, but I have


88.) do you know how to play any instruments? - like I said earlier, 9 instruments


89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not? - nah my brain analyses music too much. I like having anime playing so I can’t analyse what they’re saying, or I’ll play some mindless sports video game (NBA 2K) and that puts me to sleep


90.) what are you allergic to? - speaking in front of people


91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like? - yeah all the time


92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be? - I feel like Jake Peralta is already my spirit animal


93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why? - probably Keane Reaves, because we’d mess with people and be super nice


94.) are you outgoing? - mentally I’m quite outgoing, but a lifetime of having a speech impediment means I get anxiety when I have to speak to people


95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to? - oh yeah, certainly when I was younger


96.) are you a good flirt? - nah I’m a fucking terrible flirt, it either turns into low level bullying or overly sexual shit with the subtlety of a freight train


97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down? - yeah I’ve been turned down. I’ve only ever turned one person down but she was an honest to God stalker so I don’t count that


98.) which planet is your favorite? - fucking Neptune, man! So pretty 
99.) are you superstitious? - nah, nothing beyond what’s normal culture (saying bless you after a sneeze and that)
100.) are you a good listener? - yeah I’ve been told that
101.) are you a good kisser - my dude, I am a FANTASTIC kisser and I dare you to test that
102.) would you kiss any of your friends - I would kiss SO MANY of my friends. In fact I’d kiss most of them. Almost all. If you’re friends with me, there’s a good chance I’d kiss you. In fact, if you’re friends with me irl, there’s a good chance you already have

Thanks for putting up with this overshare! I love doing these. I tag @luxury-pie @bemyrobin and @merryanustrench to do however many of these they feel like doing

[tumblunni]

And now onward to my dumb headcanons about dadtagonist Iggy!

The official ingame term for the character creator is ‘dadsona’ (lol) but I dunno, I’m just used to something-sona being literally drawing yourself in the style of the game. I did take some screenshots back at the beginning of making myself in the character creator, but I’m asexual so i kinda feel uncomfortable playing dating sims as myself. like.. I don’t like romance stuff for the same reasons, yknow? I like reading about other people’s love, it doesn’t mean I want it to happen to me. Its why i still really love Fire Emblem Awakening even though that game has a load of plot problems and some rather offensive anti-LGBT stuff. (And somehow even more in the sequel that added gay marriage?? HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT) That game was like the only thing ever where you can pair up your party members with each other instead of just with the protagonist. I really liked that cos like.. they actually had more personality and it wasn’t just seeing one side of the romance with the protag being a blank slate and all. Tho it seems the dadsona in DD is less of a blank slate actually, which can be kind of a problem sometimes cos there’s stuff that’s canon that I’m just gonna have to ignore for Iggy. Like, for example, I didn’t realise that one line later on would say that the portagonist is bad with computers, I decided that Iggy’s career was in electronics.

OH YEAH LETS GET BACK ON TOPIC ANYWAY

So yeah, randomly I decided Iggy is a tech genius and computer repairman! I mean, the protagonist doesn’t seem to have a job or anything so I wanted to think of one. Also all the romance options had a slogan during prerelease materials, like ‘coffee dad’ and ‘sports dad’ and ‘bad dad’ (who was really more specifically ‘cryptid-hunting private detective with a funky leather jacket’ but I guess that didnt fit in a tagline XD) So I figured I needed to think up a ‘dad theme’ for my protagonist too?? But like.. he doesn’t have a particularly unusual personality or any hobbies or anything? He can’t be ‘shy dad’ because like half of all the romance options have some form of adorable shyness, even the bad dad!

Oh, and PERSONALITY! I probably should have talked about that first! Iggy is super shy and has self-confidence issues. He’s a big cuddly pushover! There’s actually quite a few dialogue options for the protagonist that let you roleplay this way, there’s some super funny and relateable social anxiety moments. Like one I saw during the intro was a big ‘ol hilarious rant about the complex process of visiting a fancy coffee shop and not knowing the Unspoken Social Rules of how to order something. Definately gonna screenshot that when I get to it in my own playthrough! But also its kinda unavoidable to get loads of sassy funny dialogue, its like the protagonist’s default setting in conversations that don’t have choices. So I liked imagining that as a neat kind of personality, actually! Someone who’s very witty and outspoken when he’s comfortable around people, but his anxiety keeps him from showing this side of himself all the time. Like a blossoming social flower! So mr shyman Iggy still has a super sarcastic internal narrator voice, and goofs around a lot with his daughter. Who will be the lucky man who loves him enough to also receive his amazing comedy? But I’m not gonna be picking any of the more reckless and outgoing dialogue options, canon dadtagonist is a bit of a rebel lol. A very complicated guy who can have all these personality traits at once, PLUS whatever ones you decide with your choices! O_O

Oh and also I ended up deciding his dad theme is Vampire Dad because.. well, why not? Who cares that I’m throwing random fantasy into this game, its not like its exactly down-to-earth and super serious. Plus seriously there’s just SO MUCH comedic potential! I’m thinking he’s just like.. super casual about it. Completely normal dad. Just happens to be slightly undead. Absolutely no angst plots or anything, it’s just like a disability he deals with. “hey old man don’t forget to drink your blood and take your pills” I can’t even think of a deep backstory about it, really?? If it’s going on the classic movie vampire rules of passing on via bite, then he probably just woke up with a hangover one morning and was like ‘hey these fangs are new, I guess that guy at the bar was a vampire’ *carries on life as usual* Or like if it’s on old myth rules of vampires coming from any improper burial or sinful corpse or whatever, then I think maybe the ‘grudge’ that brought him back from the dead was just determination to look after his daughter. Like “god dammit you already lost one parent, I won’t make you cry a second time!” *forces himself back into life through sheer willpower* Even though he’s normally cowardly, he can summon the courage to do anything if his baby girl needs him! Anyway, he just diddly deals wit it. Buys animal blood from the butcher, works night shifts. No biggie. And besides, turning into a bat is cool! (imagine him doing it to cheer up lil toddler amanda :3)

Tho lol obviously all the events of the game don’t take place at night. So like, either I switch the order of stuff around in my headcanons or I just say that that’s a weakness that doesn’t apply to vampires in this story. I mean, they’re like one of the least consistant myths across fiction, lol. If I recall correctly, wasn’t it like that in dracula, actually? Like he just lost his magic in sunlight, he didn’t die instantly. Ehh lets just say maybe Iggy’s on a nocturnal sleeping schedule now and sunlight mildly saps his energy. He doesn’t really have any magic to disable in the first place, aside from the bat thing. He’s like the most boring down-to-earth vampire. Also actually I think Craig’s route would be even cuter if Iggy’s going to even more trouble to do gym stuff with him. He’s not only not really interested in exercise, but also waking up at the equivelant of 2am and dragging his tired ass out in the sunlight where he doesn’t even have any superstrength anymore. Don’t want to dissappoint the bae! And lol from what spoiler stuff I saw about Hugo’s route, there’s a bit that would violate the whole ‘vampires can’t enter a home uninvited’ rule. I think it would be funnier if Iggy has like zero vampire benefits and all of the most obscure ridiculous vampire weaknesses! And that whole scene would play out even funnier if it was with him standing 20 feet behind everyone and yelling through a window XD ...though I’m imagining he’d be positively mournful if he couldn’t eat garlic bread, so lets swap that out for ‘can’t cross running water’. Iggy spills a glass of orange juice in the kitchen and traps himself in the corner til his daughter comes home and saves him. Probably does the same thing with a salt circle the next day. Yes, this is prime cuteness. All of the cutest vampire features!

[countdowntocake]

50 Personal Questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes! Tagged by @leorysxi Tagging No One! 1. What kind of food can’t you stand?
Anything that's really cheap or really processed (basically most candy and junk food, except for some quality chocolate). Also coconut. Fuck coconut. 2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?
As of right now, having to remember princess lessons in MidCin and IkeSen. If I could just store infinite stamina (or at least like 10 hours) I'd be such a happy camper. 3. Have you got any useless talents? Idk if it counts as a talent but I can do multiplication, addition, and subtraction from left-to-right. 4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? Remembering things. 5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking. There are plenty, but off the top of my head Andy Biersack for guys (I don't even listen to BVB but I do listen to his solo album lol) and Zendaya or Sofia Vergara for ladies.
 6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Daydreaming or playing video games (I got my first hand-me-down DS when I was 7). 7. What is something you’re proud of? I'm plenty cocky about a lot of things, but if I had to pick it would be that I was selected out of like 700 kids in my middle school to represent them in a young leadership conference during my first year there.
 8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? Vapidness in general. 
 9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a leader (see number 7)! One of my young childhood memories was when I was at the beach on vacation when I was maybe 6, and I was trying to direct a bunch of other little kids on how to build a proper sandcastle (I'm now currently discovering my interest in the field of architecture, funnily enough).
 10. What kind of student are/were you? Extremely curious, tends to monopolize the teacher, teachers pet, has never dipped below a 3.7 GPA.
 11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? I have absolutely no clue tbh.
 12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion. The inevitability of my own death. 13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? Yes, and the first that comes to mind is Edea Lee from the Bravely Default series. She's the daughter of the Grand Marshal (king) of her kingdom, and was raised to follow in her father's footsteps. Though her somewhat biased education had led her to see the world in a very black/white way, her world view is forced to change as she journeys out into the world and joins the other heroes of the story. She wants to make her father and teachers proud, but does not hesitate to disobey them and her state when she sees the consequences of their actions. She's proud, headstrong, and kind (plus she loves food lmao I love Edea and I could talk about her for hours and I'm literally going to name my firstborn daughter after her and no one can stop me). 
 14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I don't really go to parties unless they're small gatherings with friends or family, and the idea of drinking in public terrifies me so idk I'll figure it out eventually.
 15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? It will definitely take awhile. I can get crushes, sure, but if and when I start looking for someone to spend/dedicate my whole life to, I plan to find the right one the first time.
 16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? This is going to sound shallow but 100 casual friends. No matter how perfect we are as friends, only spending time with one person wears thin after awhile.
 17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? Neat-freak, but not extremely so. I just like me some good organization!
 18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy. When I think of cozy, one old southern home in my dad's family comes to mind. In the middle of a town as rural as can be, it's a large, charming white cottage surrounded by massive oak trees. The only sounds that reach it are the occasional train the crosses the edge of the property. Whether I'd be out on the porch swing overlooking the yard, the sunroom in the back with an old couch along an entire wall with a massive window, or even perched in one of the massive oaks on the property, I'd stay there forever and nap.
 19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?
Like I said, I'm totally naming my first daughter Edea. 20. What was your favorite book as a child? When I was in second grade, I used to get in massive trouble for reading the Young Nancy Drew series in math class. I also love the Harry Potter series, and found a book called The School for Good and Evil on the first day of 6th grade and have loved the series since.
 21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about Snapchat, Jake Paul, fidget spinners... I could go on.
 22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated. Marina and the Diamonds! I hear everyone talking about Halsey or Lana Del Ray, but no one ever talks about Marina and her awesome music! ;-;
 23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? I have no clue, but someone I could get comfortable with at least (not a guy, I'm way too shy!).
 24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? I'm just going to be generic and say travel the world.
 25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?
If it's something I feel confident in my knowledge/ability to debate about, then I'll never hold back. 26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?
I'm not one for fads usually, so I don't really have an answer. 27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?
Idk, I was a pretty cool kid. I usually knew when something was too dumb for me. 28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?
A quick wit. 29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) I usually make a wish-list, but I've always gotten plenty of video games, and in recent years I've been receiving jewelry as a gift more often (mostly from my mom because we watch JTV together sometimes and she knows my taste lmao)
 30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? I only know English fluently, but I'm learning Spanish in school, slowly but surely.
 31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? The countryside definitely has its draws (see number 18), but I've also lived in a city all my life and the convenience of everything is really nice...
 32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? I never would have thought it as a kid, but I actually love reading nonfiction. You don't have to struggle to find something with a good story that's suited to your tastes, and you get to LEARN stuff.
 33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?
I guess it depends on what type of spotlight. If it's just drama/popularity, then no thanks, but I definitely want appreciation for what I do and what I've a accomplished so far. 34. Favorite holiday? Easter for pastels and nostalgia, Mardi Gras for fun and family, and Christmas for gifts and candy.
 35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? PLANNING. Because STRATEGY. IS. ALWAYS. (srsly tho don't try to get me into a plan that hasn't been thought out yet because I will ask a million questions and start planning everything for you)
 36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) Most things wouldn't be the same now since I did them as a child, but honestly if I could replay Breath of the Wild with a blank slate I totally would. I tried to take it slow but still ended up rushing the story ;-;
 37. What hobbies do you have? Still video games and daydreaming :p but now with the lovely additions of fanfiction and YouTube!
 38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? Teleporting? You can't kill a man with it, but it's still pretty useful.
 39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you? (Depending on how you met me) I'm super polite and apparently "talk fancy", or that I swear like a sailor in the most deadpan way.
 40. Something that took you way too long to figure out? I can't remember anything off the top of my head...
 41. Worst injury you’ve had? I've never broken a bone, but once when I was like four I got this HORRIBLE carpet burn on my chin from watching cartoons on my stomach at a friend's house.
 42. Any morbid fascinations?
Not really. 43. Describe your sense of humor. Dry, often dark, and is typically enhanced by timing and delivery (deadpan, usually).
 44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I'm honestly pretty happy where I am. The past sucks in terms of conveniences and sanitation, and where I came from plays a huge part in who I am.
 45. Something you are irredeemably bad at? Probably dancing.
 46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through? When I was younger, my mom would ALWAYS correct me if I forgot to say ma'am or sir, but I'm so glad she stuck with it because now it's ingrained in my brain and helps me to be acknowledged/liked by my teachers and other adults.
 47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) Face tattoo! It doesn't have to be that big, right? Theoretically it could just look like the perfect makeup permanently on my face (and lord knows I'm too lazy for makeup). But realistically, I'm never getting a tattoo. 48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? Realist? I like to operate under "prepare for the worst and hope for the best". I'm confident in my ability to get myself where I want to be, but I know I'll have to work for it. 49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? Probably something about my mind or abilities. I love being complimented on my looks of course (the other day when I was getting my hair done for school a stranger told me I have beautiful hair and I'm still happy about it), but whenever someone in MidCin compliments me as a princess I almost always screenshot it.
 50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you? (In real life) I'm not a total stuck-up bitch. Yes I'm confident in myself and yes I came from a relatively well-off background, but I like to think that I'm nicer than I first appear.

[brosura]

tagged by @yohazuras & @jellyfishline & finally got around to this! thanks for the tags pals! i am a little buzzed rn so get ready!!!

rules: tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better.

nickname: kat, katty, katty mckool kat, cheese machine

zodiac sign: SSSSCORPIO

height: 5′4″

last thing you googled: 173 cm in feet & inches (it occurred to me after checking my height that i could compare my height to the shortest chocobro and to my disappointment i am shorter than all of them. unfortunate.)

favorite musical artists: tbh a lot? varies by mood. consistently: florence + the machine, chance the rapper, matt & kim, bump of chicken. recently i’ve been in the mood for the chainsmokers a lot and started getting into mapei 

last movie you watched: Get Out (would recommend)

what are you wearing right now?: mint green boxers and a heather gray shark t-shirt (it’s pajama-jama time, pajammin’)

why did you choose your URL?: idk i wanted to make a bro pun but i also wanted to include garbage somehow bc it’s an old nickname from being a mess all my life??? got the best of both worlds here and even got to use spanish/tagalog (garbage = basura in both languages) lmao

do you have any other blogs?: a blog from HS i don’t use anymore

what did your last relationship teach you?: idk man i've been pretty consistently single?? i’ve seen people only kinda? idk i guess that dating isn’t like an upgrade on relationships and it won’t always work just bc ur friends beforehand and that’s ok, it’s just like hopping from one box into an adjacent but separate box but sometimes you just wanna go back to the box u were in before, and that’s cool, whatever box is chill for the both of u 

religious or spiritual?: i mean, i’m gonna say spiritual bc after growing up vaguely catholic for my entire life i’d be lying if i said that i didn’t think about the Big G sometimes and like there’s something to be said for the message of treating others w kindness and compassion, but like, fanon!big J is used to justify too much hateful BS for me to consider myself religious lmao

favorite color? GREEN

average hours of sleep?: 3-6 hrs. lmao i lie in bed a lot but it’s actually very hard for me to sleep??? 7 is my ideal to feel rested. 

lucky number: idk? i like the number 3 tho!!

favorite characters?: honestly this is hard? but i will say i have been worried about the health&happiness of nico di angelo (pjo/hoo) since i was a wee 12yo so he’s at the top of the list. also on the (non-comprehensive) list currently: hunk (voltron; MY BOY!!!!), prompto (ffxv; he’s doing his best), lucio (overwatch; trust him w/ my life), toph bei fong (atla; first role model), asami sato + korra (atlok; LOVE em); also even though bleach is dead to me, i’ll always have a spot in my heart for rukia kuchiki because she was probably baby bi kat’s first fictional crush on a girl

how many blankets do you sleep with?: 1, it’s getting hot my dudes i’ve had to stick the leggy out for thermoregulation

dream job: honestly i interpreted this like “fantasy job” when i read it and had the highly specific fantasy of bein a bartender in a chill speakeasy-style bar. the bar is mahogany and i’m always cleaning a crystal champagne flask for some reason. i’m wearing a snazzy waistcoat just for the #look. the clientele is older and less rowdy but not obnoxiously snobby and rich. my regulars know to call me barkeep. i have a favorite regular, she comes in every thursday. i don’t know her name, but she wears the same leather jacket every week and i know her preferred drink is a bourbon, neat. she’s working her way through our selection. 

i’d be cool as like, someone working at an aquarium tho. love the fishes

20 blogs is too many blogs!!! i’ll tag @pastelnoctis, @yuusukekitagawas & @freeyukimakoto since y’all seem to like these but if i am mistaken pls feel free to ignore

@queen-tabris if u got time for introducing me to the mcelboys. love em.

and if any of me followers have time and want to do this you’re absolutely welcome to @ me i’d love to get to know y’all !!!

[delctrl-archive]

*MUSIC SYMBOL THO*

♫ – five times my muse swears it’s nota date and the one time it maybe is.— @sycophanticvisionary​

1. CINEMA

      “Just pick one.”

      “I don’t know? I’m still thinking.”

      “Look, it’s not that hard. You’re over-complicating it.”

       “I’m just not sure.”

      “Ryan, if you don’t choose, I’m going to choose for you.”

      “All right, all right, gimme a minute, will you?!”

Easy for Joe to say; these are his selections. After process of elimination, the remaining films limit two in the same genre: Goodfellas or The Godfather III. Why is he not surprised this is something Joe likes? Ryan’s never been into gangster movies himself—someone has to force him to watch the first Godfather actually—so maybe he’s stalling on purpose, even though the line behind him is getting antsy.

      “Sir, you need to make your choice soon. You’re holding up the line,” the box office clerk wheedles impatiently.

He wants to reject both options, if only because Ryan really wants to see Total Recall, but Joe isn’t a Schwarzenegger fan [how is that even possible? He’s amazing as Conan the barbarian]. Part of him wants to see Edward Scissorhands because that’s a unique concept and Nightmare Before Christmas is bizarre in a good way, even if as a kid Ryan finds it scary. But whatever, he has to decide, otherwise not only will people be pissed, Joe will probably walk out on him.

      “Two for The Godfather.” It takes all his willpower not to sigh.

Glancing at Joe, the small smile on his lips tells Ryan he chooses well. That makes him smile in turn as they head to the snack bar.

      “What do you want to eat?” he hears Joe ask, though he shrugs.

      “You decide. I’m pretty cheap.”

Joe doesn’t argue, just orders them a combo popcorn and fishes for his wallet. It occurs to Ryan that Joe’s paying for everything and that makes his face hot with embarrassment. Does that mean—?

      “Is this a date?” Ryan blurts.

It stills Joe from handing over a twenty-dollar bill, his eyes slowly sliding towards Ryan. Ryan swallows nervously, staring back with what he doesn’t realize is anticipated hope.

      “No.”

Joe turns away to gather napkins as Ryan stands, deflated, watching. He doesn’t enjoy the movie as much as Joe does.

2. BOWLING ALLEY

Ryan’s probably never laughed as much as he had since getting out of prison, but witnessing someone as tall as Joe MacMillan try to toss a giant heavy ball down a laminated aisle and miss is ridiculously priceless. More than likely Joe doesn’t appreciate being the butt of the joke, but can’t say he doesn’t laugh either whenever Ryan misses a strike out—which isn’t a lot. He practically grows up on this game thanks to his dad’s company team. Ryan knows how to roll a ball before he knows keystrokes.

So, yes, it’s a little unfair he asks Joe to verse him, knowing the advantage he has, but it feels nice to be good at something again, especially against Joe MacMillan, a man who is seemly flawless at what he puts his mind to, regardless of skill level. [Ryan has seen the man’s code, and while it’s like looking at the aftermath of a wild keg party, there’s still some gold nuggets that can make a decent brewery. He may never be great at it, but he’s not unteachable.] When they decide to pause in Joe’s losing streak—he laughs again at the typical-wounded-ego pout on his face—they stop for a pizza break. Ryan carries a tray over with their huge slices and styrofoam soda cups; the one with the hot-pink crazy-straw indicates Ryan’s Dr. Pepper and the cup with lots of ice is Joe’s Coke. The fries they split. Ryan dunks his in too much ketchup, makes a mess of his shirt, and Joe just looks at him with fond exasperation when he gets more napkins.

      “Do you still think you’re capable of beating me?” Ryan taunts through a grin and half a mouthful of pizza. “I mean, I gotta admit, you got spunk. Don’t think that’s good enough though.”

Joe scoffs goodnaturedly. “You’re sure of yourself. Don’t get cocky, Ryan—”

      “Too late!”

      “―You might be surprised. I could suddenly win this and you wouldn’t even see it coming.” Joe’s steady, self-assured voice causes doubt in any other situation but this one. Ryan’s heard it a few times when they’ve spent hours and days looking for something before finding NSFNet. That tone marks the man’s determination as well as an ace hidden up his sleeve.

Not that Ryan heeds it. There’s no way Joe can turn this around in time. There’s a little over thirty minutes of the game left and Ryan’s ahead by twenty-two. He stuffs the rest of his cheese pizza in his mouth, devours it, and slurps down more Dr. Pepper, shaking his head. “That doesn’t scare me, Joe. You’re all talk.” Ryan smirks. “C’mon, prove it.”

He’s not exactly prepared for that look Joe gives. Like he’s said the wrong thing, or maybe the right thing, to put that fire in his gaze; the way he stands so abruptly just screams You’ll regret that. Ryan watches a little dumbfounded as Joe steps into the little sitting area, food forgotten, then takes a minute to peruse particular bowling balls. He ends up choosing a shiny black one, as if it’s an enlarged 8-ball. It’s a surprise when Joe walks up, stands perfectly still, but suddenly executes a perfect throw with just the right amount of leverage and twist that sends the ball gliding across the lane, knocking down the white pins forming a Greek Church. 

For a dumb moment, Ryan has the impression of pillars of an old god’s temple being destroyed by Joe MacMillan: a cannon ball come to wreck a false way of life.

The next half hour plays out similarly. Joe keeps nailing his shots over and over until he’s caught up to Ryan, who hasn’t said a word to joke or laugh at Joe’s expense. He realizes how easily he’s been played, that Joe is going easy on him earlier, and that miffs him the slightest bit. But in the end it’s Ryan who wins; as good as Joe apparently is at bowling, Ryan’s better.

       “That was fun,” Joe announces on the drive home. “We should do it again sometime.”

       “Yeah, sure,” Ryan answers, distracted, with his attention out of the window. He may still be a little bitter at how Joe played him. So he isn’t expecting the hand on his arm that gains his attention on the man driving instead.

       “Hey, you okay?”

The concern in Joe’s words melt whatever ire builds. Coupled with that glance of caring worry behind horn-rimmed glasses, Ryan simply smiles and shrugs it off. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m good. We’re good.”

Joe smiles, small and delicate, and nods. “Good. Let’s play again sometime,” he encourages.

       “It’s a date,” Ryan agrees mindlessly. 

Joe’s smile doesn’t waver, but his eyes close off. He looks back at the road ahead, stepping on the pedal once the light turns green.

3. PARTY

Ryan’s two hours deep in Mortal Kombat, the joystick of his Nintendo 64 in danger of snapping from how vigorously he jerks it left and right, but he can’t care about that now, so close to K.O.-ing a FATALITY on Rain’s flamboyant, Japanese-purple-poncho, black death mask wearing ass. Ryan didn’t unlock Smoke as a character just to have him look pretty with his long white hair and mysticism. He’s been glued to the console ever since he buys it for himself as an early birthday present. Not even his brand new Microsoft PC has steered him from fighting fictional assassins and ninjas designed by America’s greatest video game developers. 

It’s Joe’s fault anyway.

“Fault” as if Ryan’s mad—hardly. The day Joe hands this gem over in neat red wrapping paper, Ryan swears he falls in love. After replaying [and beating] Super Mario five times, he’s in need of something new; Joe delivers.

Speaking of Joe, a shrill ringing interrupts his gameplay in time for Smoke to land the finishing blow. “Yes!” Ryan praises, leaping up with arms shooting high the same moment Smoke does a victory taunt. Adrenaline plants a wide grin on his lips and he pats the wall for his phone blindly, but eventually grasps it. “Hello?” he breathes, not quite over his excitement.

       “Ryan? It’s Joe.”

        “Joe? Hey, man, perfect timing! I just killed it on Mortal Kombat!”

        “Mortal Kombat?” Joe is genuinely confused. Figures.

       “Yeah, Mortal Kombat, it’s that game you bought me a few weeks ago. For my birthday,” he tacks on just in case he really has forgotten.

       “Right, I remember. I’m glad to know you’re liking it so much. Listen, can you do me a favor? I wouldn’t ask if I had somebody else, but—”

       “What is it, Joe? It’s not like you to stall.”

There’s a pause, and Ryan imagines Joe’s debating telling him never mind and hanging up, but he’s happy he doesn’t. “There’s this thing I have to go to for Gordon. Business party. A lot of investors will be there—I need someone to come with me.”

       “Like a date?”

       “No, nothing like that. It looks bad if I go alone.” Joe is too quick to dismiss the idea, but what else is new. It no longer hurts Ryan’s feelings.

But he does chuckle to hide his scoff. “You don’t think showing up with a guy will look bad?” Ryan points out incredulously. He realizes how bad that sounds though. “Not that I have a problem with it, just—”

       “Will you go with me or not?” Joe demands sharply, his voice like a cold knife.

       “Sure, yeah, yeah, I’ll go. Sure. Look, I’m sorry if I—”

       “Great. I’ll pick you up a six o’clock. Wear something nice.”

The line goes dead. Ryan feels like shit for putting his foot in his mouth and he knows he’s going to make it up to Joe somehow. Over the years the guy’s gotten a little more sensitive about his sexuality, the AIDS epidemic startling him into awareness and caution. Of course Joe’s never taken lightly to cracks about the gay community. Sometimes he can be downright vicious defending it.

Before Ryan has long to mope about his carelessness, he checks the clock. It’s four minutes from 5:00 PM and Joe doesn’t live far. Whatever remorse Ryan feels gets replaced by panicked annoyance at classic Joe MacMillan expecting him to break his neck getting ready in a small window of time. Ryan flicks off his television, then hops over his couch to rush down the hall towards his bedroom, shirking clothes as he goes.

He’s proud of himself when he opens the door to Joe exactly at 6:00, dressed in a starch white button-up, open maroon blazer, and black slacks. The contrast of deep red truly makes his skin glow copper. The way Joe looks him up and down slowly only adds to Ryan’s conceit. It doesn’t even diminish when Joe reaches forward to fix his black bowtie before half-smiling at Ryan. They’ll make quite the pair: Joe also looks dapper in his silver-white three-piece suit, his skin freshly scrubbed clean to give a polished peach gleam. Ryan forgets all about how much he hates parties and whether Joe admits it or not, he tries not to focus on the fact it feels very much like a date.

Ryan pretends Joe doesn’t.

4. COASTLINE

Joe invites Ryan out to the water with him. He tries to teach him to surf. It’s the first and last time he tries as they learn Ryan is stupendously awful at keeping his balance on a surfboard while the waves are rocking. He probably swallows more sea water than is healthy, but at least he coughs up some of it.

On shore Joe hands Ryan a towel that he gratefully accepts, rubbing his messy soaked hair after he’s squeezed out excessive water onto the sand dampening beneath his bum. These wetsuits make Ryan uncomfortable, a little more conservative about the skin-tight fabric than he’d like to be. He wishes he can be like Joe, who struts around in his wetsuit like he’s born to model them, or even something as simple as rolling the top half of it down, scars on display, just to lay on a towel while the sun warms them both. Joe looks mighty comfortable lounging on his back, hands atop his stomach, while Ryan imitates a drowned cat vigorously trying to groom himself. Instead of his tongue he’s got a terry cloth that’s mostly drenched—not much good for drying anymore.

       “I think I’ll leave it to you from now on to be the surfing expert,” Ryan grouses, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging himself. It’s a silly attempt to heat up faster, but he’ll take what he can get.

Laughing, Joe peeks a bright eye at Ryan. “Come on, you weren’t that bad.”

Ryan snorts, tossing Joe a look as if he’s crazy. “I got booed by a water skier passing by us. I sucked, let’s face it.”

       “They were kind of assholes,” Joe argues mildly.

       “Those assholes weren’t wrong though,” Ryan insists.

Humming, Joe’s quiet for a second as he thinks it over. He comes to a decision shortly. “I suppose you’re right. You were pretty bad.”

Ryan sits up straighter, raising his chin, and affects a haughty air. “Thank you.”

It makes Joe laugh like he intends, yet they both go quiet afterwards. Joe tips onto his side, eyes closed, the corners of his mouth faintly curl up, Ryan staring at him for a second too long. He doesn’t want to say what this feels like—out loud—for fear of Joe shooting the idea down. Rather than humiliate himself more, Ryan bunkers down next to Joe, a respectable amount of space between them without seeming too intimate nor too distant. He tucks his hands behind his head, well on his way to relaxed. Ryan will just keep it to himself how he considers this outing to be a date as well.

5. ARCADE

Ryan has a hard time believing Joe’s never gone to an arcade to actually play on one of the machines. He knows that’s where he and Cameron almost hooked up and where he recruited her, so it possibly has a sour taste in his mouth, but he chooses a different hotspot—plus, it’s not like Joe’s life revolves around a timeline of B.C. and A.C.: “Before Cameron” and “After Cameron.” At least he hopes not. Sometimes when she’s brought up he gets this erstwhile look, one of whimsical nostalgia, but mostly wistful remembrance. Ryan has been trying since the day Joe offers home and heart to him to help remedy that ache, but it may be impossible.

The most he can do is subdue it, except admittedly this isn’t one of his better suggestions for a date. 

       No, not date: hangout.

Now Ryan feels bad. “We can go somewhere else if this if this is too weird for you.”

It’s not a shocker that he’s barely able to finish his sentence before Joe turns on his heel and heads back for the car. Ryan jogs after to keep up, but does give some space. Joe seems a little angry, which is probably better than his sadness. Ryan doesn’t know what to do with sad. Anger? That’s easy.

       “Sorry.”

        “Don’t.”

The ride to Joe’s place is thick with silence. Ryan doesn’t try to talk again, nor after they get inside and Joe handles him a little too roughly when he steers Ryan towards his closed bedroom. In the morning Ryan may have bruises from how tightly Joe holds Ryan’s wrists down or how hard he sinks his teeth in Ryan’s shoulder and he knows for certain he’ll be a little sore sitting because he asks Joe not to hold back [“Just fuck me, Joe. I can handle it.”] and that’s all Joe needs to let himself go and not treat Ryan like some breakable china doll.

In the morning Joe asks Ryan to leave and Ryan does without argument. A couple days later he calls to apologize, regardless if he’s not sure what he’s apologizing for, but Joe accepts it and Ryan feels lighter. Unfortunately they’re both busy after that.

1. DINNER

Obviously he can still be surprised. “You cook?”

Clearly there’s food set out on the table that definitely isn’t store-bought frozen meals or nearby takeout. There’s some flavored rice, what he thinks is cut-up baked fish mixed with vegetables, and  cheesy broccoli. A bottle of sweet red wine even stands between two glasses.

       “Yes, I can cook. Why do you sound so surprised?” Joe’s a bit insulted.

Ryan ignores it as he peels off his coat. “’Cause I mean, you’re Joe MacMillan! Cooking is so… mundane.” That makes him sound like a douche, doesn’t it? “It’s just—you didn’t strike me as the type to like that sort of thing.”

Joe eyes Ryan critically, his hard stare skeptical, like he may have made a mistake. “You’re right. I don’t really enjoy it. But I thought…” He looks across the set table and examines the placement and food choice subconsciously, his hands on the back of a chair. His fingers tighten nervously. “I thought you might like it.”

       “Oh, I do! I really do, you just caught me off guard, is all.” He’s quick to reassure that Joe doesn’t waste his time with this gesture. “This looks great, thanks, man.” Grinning, Ryan moves to take a seat, but is moderately amused when Joe pulls out his chair. Ryan doesn’t comment, simply lowers himself gingerly into the seat, eyes on Joe, full of unasked questions.

He follows suit while he reaches for his napkin and places it on his person properly, treating his dining room as a five-star restaurant. When he looks up at his guest, Ryan scrambles to do the same after a delayed second. 

Joe smiles. “I thought we could try a proper date.”

        “A date?” Ryan must have misheard.

        “A date,” Joe confirms.

Nope, he hears correctly. He’s not sure what to think. “So this is a date then?” he repeats dumbly. It’s hard to believe after Joe denies all the other not-dates they’ve had.

       “If you want it to be,” Joe murmurs, peering at Ryan, fixated. He holds his breath.

Understanding how serious this is, Ryan slowly smiles and he notices the tense line of Joe’s shoulders relax as he breathes. “I want it to be. I do, I really do.”

[chimepunk]

What novels or book series would you recommend?

oh fuckin boy dude so many. 90% of what i read is either gay or scifi/fantasy or both, and some are technically for a younger audience but still great, so thats what most of this is which hopefully you’re cool with here goes

this got super long so i’m putting it under a cut. bolded titles are the ones that i’m super recommending, though i love them all

novels

the coldest girl in coldtown by holly black - vampires! a trans character! a bi character! one of the most novel approaches to vampires in fiction that i’ve seen! 10/10 would recommend

the darkest part of the forest by holly black - again, holly black is one of my favorite authors. this one’s got faeries (the proper vaguely unsettling kind that i’m all about) magical music, girls embracing their sexuality, girls being knights, interesting sibling dynamics, and a super cute m/m pairing

les miserables by victor hugo - ok yeah, it’s like 1400 pages long and historical fiction, but i love les mis a lot ok. it’s gotta be on this list just because it owns my ass. it’s like a old drunk french man trying to tell you about the june rebellion but he keeps getting distracted by things like people’s personal lives, the intricacies of the parisian underworld, and how much he wants to fuck the sewers. it’s wonderful

the night circus by erin morgenstern - magical circus that mysteriously appears for days at a time and then vanishes? a competition between young magicians drawn out for years? a wide variety of fascinating side characters? (i will say that the synopsis available for the book is somewhat misleading, as it’s actually less about our two protags and more about the circus itself. but that’s what makes it so enchanting)

the song of achilles by madeleine miller - retelling of patroclus and achilles story to be explicitly romantic. will make you feel like you’re floating on clouds and then rapidly crush your soul. sort of a happy ending? but it’s still a tragedy. their ending is the same as it was in the illiad so if you’re not prepared for that then maybe don’t read

good omens by neil gaiman and terry pratchett - a demon who’s not very good at being a demon and an angel who just wants to collect his books in peace thank you very much try to sabotage the end of times. absolutely hilarious

fairy and folktales of the irish peasantry by w.b. yeats - the best collection of irish faerie stories by one of my favorite poets. if you like creepy and tricky faeries i would def recommend checking these out

rootabaga stories by carl sandburg - another collection of folktales, this time inspired by the american midwest. kinda weird, kinda zany, very neat

the poison eaters by holly black - a short story collection of faery stories that are sometimes creepy, sometimes touching, sometimes gay. my personal favorite is about a library science student who finds a book collection where the characters come out at night and interact, but they’re all really great

series:

alex rider adventures by anthony horowitz - teenager gets recruited by MI6 as a spy, has incredibly high success rate, gets pretty fucked up along the way but damn those one liners tho, maybe have some self preservation alex? just a thought

all for the game by nora sakavic - about a fake sport called exy that’s kind of like indoor lacrosse but more violent. contains: crime families, found families, an aspec protag, girls kicking ass, unhealthy levels of sass, wonderful slowburn m/m that you can’t even see coming for a long while, and a happy ending for everyone!! i came for the gays and ended up reading all three books in two days. also you can get the whole series for less than five bucks on kindle! (note: tw for rape, physical abuse, torture, ptsd, child abuse, drug use, alcoholism, some use of slurs, mentions of past self harm, mental illness)

artemis fowl by eoin colfer - more faeries, but this time they live underground and are way more technologically advanced than humans. the first book focuses on our anti-hero trying to catch one and steal their gold, and they quickly become allies and solve faerie related cases together!! one of my favorite series growing up, and i cried in the middle of the hallway at school when i finished the last book

camp half-blood series by rick riordan - does rick riordan write a lot of mythology books? yes. do i love them all? yes. neurodivergent kids! kids from a huge range of racial and ethnic backgrounds! queer kids! collect them all! ft. greco-roman mythology and a lot of stupid jokes

emelan series by tamora pierce - ok this is easily one of my favorite series of all time. non-western high fantasy setting (picture greece/turkey, china, tibet, mongolia, scandinavia, etc type settings), following four young mages who have unique kinds of magic as they train and grow their skills and become powerful in their own right. only one of the kids is definitely white (jury’s still out on sandry), one is a lesbian, one is ace, one is pan, all four are raised by a loving f/f couple, body diversity, one of the best found families i’ve ever read, feminism, discussion of racism, classism, cultural identity, war, and so much more. it’s so so good and so under-appreciated please read all of the emelan books 

the dark is rising sequence by susan cooper - full disclosure i have not finished this series yet but i’ve re-read the first book a million times. it’s a neat take on arthurian mythology, with dark forces trying to take over and kids getting shit done

diviners by libba bray - psychic teenagers in 1920s new york! i’m a slut for prohibition, but these are also super fun and have likable and real characters, and doesn’t only focus on wealthy white people having parties which is nice. the occult! government conspiracies! historical references! genuinely scary situations! it’s rad!

the enchanted forest chronicles by patricia c. wrede - i adore this series so so much. it’s about a princess who’s father keeps telling her that she can’t have hobbies like fencing or cooking or conjugating latin verbs because they’re unladylike and insists that she marry this doofus prince that she couldn’t care less about. so she runs away and volunteers to work for a dragon and proceeds to send away all the princes that try to rescue her. it’s genuinely funny, has a really neat magic system in the later books, great female friendships, cats, dragons who have no time for your gender roles, and wizards who are the most ridiculous group of antagonists you will ever see

the infernal devices by cassandra clare - i really really do not like the author of this series but it also broke me so it must go on the list. if you’re familiar with the mortal instruments or shadowhunters on freeform, it’s set in that universe in the 1870s in london and it’s very steampunk and very angsty and it made me cry a lot

the kane chronicles by rick riordan - see: camp half-blood series but egyptian

fablehaven by brandon mull - oooooh fuck me up i love this series. this is another one meant for slightly younger readers but all of brandon mull’s series are so wildly imaginative and i’m a slut for world building so. the premise is basically that there are secret preserves all over the world that house magical creatures, and five of these preserves have vaults with artifacts that when brought together make a key to this massive demon prison. an evil society called the society of the evening star is trying to get the artifacts to open the prison, and a different group who is allied with the preserves called the knights of the dawn is trying to get to them first to prevent this from happening. there are dragons, light and dark powers, crazy convoluted vaults to get through, and some really cool creatures and characters

beyonders by brandon mull - this guy again! this one’s about a parallel world called lyrian that people on earth can only get to through small liminal windows, and usually can’t get back through. the story follows two kids, jason and rachel, who get stuck in lyrian and end up becoming major members of the resistance against the evil emperor maldor. just like fablehaven, the world building is insane and you’ll fall in love with all the characters. this is yet another series that made me cry in the middle of class when i finished it

the kingkiller chronicle by patrick rothfuss - this is series is long as all fuck and the last book isn’t out yet but it’s my #1 favorite series of all time. i found out about it bc a cashier at a local grocery store held up the line to write it down for me and i never went back. parts of it are achingly, hauntingly beautiful, other parts are hilarious enough to leave you in stitches, others make you want to pull your hair out. there’s sass, recklessness, beautiful and deadly girls, an overwhelming love and emphasis on the importance of music and storytelling, magic that’s more like science, ethnic adversity, student loans, a thing that might be a cow or might be a dragon depending on who you ask, and more quotable lines than you could dream of. the audiobook by nick podehl is also fabulous, and lin manuel miranda is producing and adapting it for the screen and maybe stage at some point in the future!

a modern faerie tale by holly black - guys. i love holly black. almost everything she’s ever written is on this list. this one is fairly self explanatory by the title, but it’s gritty and dark and has those lovely creepy faeries that she’s so great at writing. also a surprising m/m couple in the last book, both of whom are characters in the other two installments. (tw for drug use/addiction, brief sexual assault, and probably other things that i can’t remember right now)

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater - also in my top 3 favorite series of all time, i cannot begin to describe this series. i first read it while up in the nc mountains which improved the experience to a surprising degree, but it’s stuck with me for the last several years. basically 5 teenagers go in search of a dead welsh king, but along the way there is magic, psychics, ghosts, a sentient forest, dreams becoming reality, curses, teenage shenanigans, classic cars, swearing, church, kisses and not kisses, illict hand holding, a baby crow, bisexuality, a death list, hitmen, and nicknames and it will consume your heart before you know what’s happening to you (tw child abuse, implied sexual assault, substance abuse, dissociation, mentions of past suicide attempts, body horror, gore, and disturbing scenes esp. in the last book)

six of crows by leigh bardugo - a team of criminals band together to break into an impossible fortress, fall in love, con an entire city, and get rich. set in the same universe as the grisha trilogy (which is also good but not as good as soc), this is basically a heist followed by a con, but pulled off by ruthless teenagers and with the help of magic

curseworker trilogy by holly black - crime families, magic that can only done through touch so everyone wears gloves, moral ambiguity, and a twisted romance. one of holly black’s best and most underrated series

baccano! by ryohgo narita - this is a japanese light novel series which has been adapted into an anime, but is much more extensive in print. the plot is extremely convoluted, but an absolute ride spanning several centuries, although the bulk of it is in the 1930s in nyc and chicago. there’s an elixir of immortality, crime families, trains, a solipsistic assassin and his mute assassin gf, serial killers, a demon with a catch phrase, murder, explosions, adorable couples, gambling, a gang leader named jacuzzi who is always terrified, killer corporations, and much much more

no.6 by asuka asano - another japanse series, this time focusing on two boys, one who grew up in a utopian city, the other who grew up outside the walls after the city destroyed his life. they meet when they’re 12 years old, and several years later, they’re reunited when the outsider rescues the city boy from arrest. they, along with a pimp and a nonbinary dog hotel owner, try to expose and overthrow the government. also ft. drag performances, mice who like shakespeare, killer bees, and boys falling in love.

the merlin saga by t.a. barron - my favorite take on arthurian mythology, chronicling merlin as he comes into his power. there’s a vividly magical island, giants, amulets, talking trees, stones that will try to swallow you, a swamp witch, celtic deities, huge wicker hats, poetry, new kinds of fruit, people that are also deer, and human’s long lost wings.

[tumblunni]

Oh mannnn Rune Factory why are you so good at making friendships feel so genuine with fictional characters Like, it legit is good therapy when you’re lonely! It just leaves you with this contented feeling. And they somehow managed to achieve it through doing like basically nothing?? Its so good because they leave the options open for you to form your own fanficcy thoughts! There is SO MUCH of that! The characters’s AI wandering around the town doing random stuff and occasionally bumping into each other and having a short emoticon conversation like in the sims. That’s just so weirdly theraputic to watch, its like watching an aquarium?? And so many fanfic ideas when the ‘conversation’ is something interesting with an interesting combination of characters. What would happen if Porcoline flirted with Leon! What exactly was forte doing carrying that melon? SO MANY IDEAS!! And then like... i DO wish that you could do more stuff with the characters when you’re paired up, but its still really cute and friendshippy to just be paired up while doing everything, even the characters never aknowledge it or join in. You can imagine what would happen if they did, cos they have such well-developed personalities! It feels like having a fun afternoon with two of your friends doing [insert thing here], and then when you pair up with just one character you kinda somehow feel its a bit more intimate and wanna impress them?? like, I know now that characters dont gain any friendship points for fighting together even though fighting together is the one thing they actually can do together. But I still just HAVE to go find my two faves and fight together with them! Every time! Whether its a plot event or exploring together or collecting items together! porcoline, help me go pick mushrooms, u is the chef~! It would be so cool if they got given passive skills that had bonuses to certain things and levelled up as their friendship increases!! Like Porcoline actually does increase the probability of food items dropping from monsters. And just AAAAAA why do I have to go grab a character and pair up before I do work, even when I know the game doesnt aknowledge anything thats happening with gameplay. You give me the opportunity to put anyone in my party when their schedule is free, and even if there is ABSOLUTELY NO BOON TO THIS CTION I still wanna sit outside arthur’s office like a lovesick puppy waiting to give him his morning packed lunch and then take him with me to till the farm and craft eyeglasses. And I wanna take Dylas to go fishing!! I was so lucky once that I arrived at the beach when his Daily Randomized Action actually was fishing, and I could pretend we were fishing together with friendship~! He doesnt fish too when he’s in your party when you fish :P And then the only actual interaction that they do have is sometimes giving you gifts when you talk to them, same as when you talk to them when theyre sitting as static npcs in their house. But AGAIN it just makes me fanfic and roleplay that me and this character are having a fun day doing [action] and then what silly antics would occur if they gave me [randomized present] at this moment! And sometimes the choice of dialogue and present clashes hilariously, and sometimes it works so well to make it extra heartwarming! like Porcoline gave me a present on HIS OWN BIRTHDAY! i came along and gave him is present and he gave me one back, its like NOOOOO U R TOO NICE THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!! And i know it was just randomized chance but it was so in-character that it made me smile! Also I know that any extra presents you give them after the first present don’t make any difference to your friendship points, but I felt so bad that I didn’t have anything Doug likes for his birthday so I gave him like five neutral gifts. And AGAIN the game doesnt actually aknowledge when you give someone a weapon you’ve fully built up to level 10 but I always feel so happy doing that with my main weapon when i gain a new one, i have to give it to someone else who could use it. Porco had my super strong gale edge that I won from the first harvest competition and used for half the game, and its so neat that they actually do use the weapon you give them! WE STRONGE DUAL BLADE BUDDIES BEING STRONGE! (tho then I managed to craft the leek blades that are super good for porco so now he’s got those) And BTW its so funny cute that Porcoline has a self-healing ‘spell’ that’s literally just him eating a sandwich mid-battle. As far as I know he’s the only npc who can mimic the player’s item-using animation, nobody has an actual inventory when theyre travelling with you. Oh and Clorica can do the same but different! She can mimic the player’s sleeping action and fall asleep on the ground to recover her HP. I love in-character npc-only variants of skills, thats such a cute idea! Tho I kinda wish I could hack them onto my character to replace the default Cure, lol! Oh and AAAAA I like.. skipped the entirety of Fall?? I hit 8 hearts with Arthur at the beginning and didn’t realise that the game glitches out and won’t let you confess if the character is part of a Town Event. Arthur had one dialogue line in Forte’s quest to ride an elephant, so he didnt show up when he asked to meet me and I thought I’d been stood up but then he acted like I’D stood him up?? And he was stuck in a dialogue loop of ‘I have something to tell you now- I CANT TALK RIGHT NOW’ and then when the town event ws over he was mad at me and wouldnt accept a second confession until he hit 9 hearts. So I literally did nothing every day for a month but hang with arthur and hug him and give him gifts, blazing through to 9 hearts at ridiculous stubborn speed! i felt so bad that all the other characters are sad you havent talked to them in 15 days :P But I was happy that I finally got a second chance to confess PRECISELY on the 1st of Winter, and we had heartwarming cuddles in the freshly fallen snow. And then i was too tired from staying up all night romancing a fictional taxkeeper so I saved the game and passed out. OH, but not until after I added Arthur to my party and just skipped around the snowy town with him for ten minutes! I gave him an umbrella and pretended the two characters were having a romantic walk underneath it. I AM SO ON THE SHIPPING TRAIN, MY GUYS! I cant believe I came here for the two monster boys and got attatched to mr normal nerdman prince before I even had a chance to see either of their events :P I wanted to maybe try seeing all the relationship events with all the batchelors but I just felt so guilty like I was cheating on arthur, cos he was the one I picked first... Man, i shoulda saved picking a boyfriend til the endgame and then made three savefiles to see them all :P BUT I AM STILL HAPPY WITH ARTHUR!!! soft man, walking hug nerd in a snuggie my character’s dream boy When a game can provoke such attatchment to the love interests in a completely asexual player then u kno u done rite NOBODY IS SEXY BUT EVERYBODY IS SOMEONE I WANNA SEE SMILING Let me resolve your plotline arthur I want you to have a happy marriage You can hug all my pet monsters and i’ll make you turnip stew every morning and AAAAAA I love learning what everyone loves, i love that arthur is one of the ones with many different fave presents. He likes turnips and new spectacles and cute fluffy things! And Dylas likes fish and carrots and milk he has THREE FAVOURITE FOODS, what a cutie!! And Dolce likes tea and sweets and hot chocolate aka THE PERFECT FUSION OF BOTH. And also she’s started liking medicine and doctor-related gifts after being adopted by the cute doctor couple, its so sweet she’s aspiring to be like them!! And porcoline eats literally all my cooking crafting successes and I wouldnt have it any other way!! and AAAA you can give people HATS and they WEAR YOUR HATS so you can see arthur actually change glasses when you give him new ones and porco wears ribbons on his hat that already exists and these two have been my party for LIKE FOREVER and I love them and i totally headcanon arthur seeing porcoline like a dad since they started working together! He has sad dialogues about how he had a bad relationship with the king and how he was raised entirely by servants, so porcoline reminds him of that. And cute stories like how when he was working late at night he walked outside his door and there was a mysterious homecooked meal out of nowhere. yeah porcoline TOTALLY made a midnight snack and just forgot not to eat it, suuuuure! porco is always trying to trick him into taking care of himself, its so damn sweet!! And you get similar dialogues from everyone else working at the restaurant and just GAHHH forever headcanoning arthur and dylas as Official Adopted Members Of The De Saint-Coquille Noble Bloodline. I wish they had more interactions together tho, even if they arent like brothers its odd that two people working together each day dont talk much about each other. BUT SERIOUSLY porco is like.. he adopted a friggin horse monster and THE PRINCE OF THE COUNTRY. Sorry king u messed up dadding, he is mine now. Also: the wild wilderness of a monster temple is no place for a young boy. U come gain some employment as a well-paid waiter and also my son! I ain’t care that you’re slightly a unicorn! THEYRE ALL JUST SUCH NICE PEOPLE AAA I wanna be like ‘plz let me marry your son’ to porcoline, i wanna join the fam as a daughter in law. I’m not REMOTELY interested in being the princess, I just wanna be a new member of the restaurant peoples!! Aaaaa I cant stop rambling about how much i love this game and these characters!! And I;ve only even really started befriending this small chunk of the characters, who knows if I’ll get even more rambley about the others!!!! I just love love love that you can put them in your party at any time and drag them along to do everything and PRETEND WE ARE HAVING FAMILY BONDING ACTIVITIES BECAUSE I ADORE YOU ALL