#sometimes i get so mad thinking about how theres such an easy fix but instead my states military is so in debt to the education fund that
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me: so-and-so is an amazing and bright individual and I know they're ready for middle school! To set them up for success, I'd highly recommend looking into tutoring. I know *school most of them are going to* has a homework club, which would be an awesome place to start! They master concepts quickly and easily in small groups environments with more immediate access to the teacher--
me:
me: waiT A SECOND the reason all these kids need tutoring is because class sizes are too large for the general teacher to effectively reach each student during whole class instruction
the way 70% of my issues would be solved by having 15 kids instead of 30 is insane
teaching has revealed so many lies to me but by god is it true that when your teacher pesters and pushes you, it means they care. When they start to leave you tf alone it means they've stopped caring, and that's probably when you should be worrying about where you're headed.
anyway, report cards are due tonight, and all of the students I love are getting comments suggesting tutoring and homework clubs in middle school <3
#jackshit#jacks class#'small group' in my class is 7 kids#and like...#i could be as effective with a 60 minute chunk w 15-17 kids as i am with 4-10 in 20#insTEAD#80% of my kids never meet the standard#and this is true of all subjects--they ALL need small group attention for math AND language arts#but you cannot see 30 students every day for both things#and if you dont see them every day it really loses effectiveness f a s t#even my high kids suffer when i sacrifice their small group time for one of the low groups#because our whole group is insane--and i have fucking great classroom management#everyone at my school constantly comments on how far ive come wth this crew#and YET they still can't hold it together during a whole group enough to fucking let each other learn#and i cant ONLY do small group because you know what happens when im not actively walking around the room?#nothing#but also EVERYTHING#and also vERY LOUDLY#and aLL AT ONCE#sometimes i get so mad thinking about how theres such an easy fix but instead my states military is so in debt to the education fund that#they literally can never pay it back#because as per usual the US cares more about guns than children#thank you for coming to my rant#the education systems failure should NOT be the responsibility of my students--but if they don't take that responsibility they will never#get on level
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I'm on Fire
Bruce Springsteen X OC
My masterlist here
I'm drunk, sorry if the intro doesn't make sense. I wrote the story sober, I promise. Shout out to Calista for proofreading despite not knowing a thing about Bruce Springsteen.
I love Bruce Springsteen, I love him so much. Bruce Springsteen drinks respect women juice.
Takes place after the I’m on fire music video. Kate is a 21 year old college student with a rich dad who is an asshole. She’s taken a liking to Bruce, the mechanic at the shop she goes to and started taking it in for minor repairs, asking for him by name. Last night, Bruce dropped the car at her place late at night. She saw him, and unfortunately so did Kate’s dad
Best if you watch the music video beforehand.
The name Kate is taken from the song My Hometown. "Last night me and Kate laid in bed, talking 'bout getting out"
I know theres not a lot of desire out there for Springsteen content, but I love him. If you are here from Sunshine, Starlight Sweetheart Brightside this is a cute fic, but not Moon Knight.
WARNINGS: Excessive drinking, man trying to take advantage of a drunk girl at a bar (not Bruce), parental abuse, not shown just mentioned. P in V sex, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving, m receiving), pretty basic shit, good times
Bruce was working on a beat up Buick when he heard the unmistakable sound of her heel’s clicking in the shop. I just fixed the car yesterday. He hoped he had done it right. He rolled out from under the hunk of junk “Did it stop running again?” But when he saw her face, he knew something was wrong. Instead of her calm, classy, smile, she looked mad. He stood up and whipped his forehead, wishing he wasn’t a grease monkey right now. “Something wrong, miss Kate?”
She held up her keys to his face, looking upset. “What was this about? I told you I’d come get it.”
“I’m sorry miss Kate, I thought I’d save you the trouble.”
“Well you didn’t save me any trouble. My dad saw and now he thinks…” She trailed off.
Bruce realized what she was too polite to say outright “Ah… I’m sorry”
She calmed down a bit “It’s ok Bruce just… don’t do it again. I think maybe it’s best if one of the other guys work on my car for now” She looked genuinely sorry. “Gosh, it’s hot in here.” She took out a blue handkerchief and dabbed at her temple. That’s when Bruce noticed it.
“Is everything all right?” Bruce noticed her bruised temple.
Kate saw him glance at her temple and panicked. When she looked down at her handkerchief, she saw the makeup had whipped off “oh gosh…” she murmured.
“Did someone hurt you?” His concern was genuine, taking a step closer to look.
She stepped back, making Bruce stop in his tracks. “Shoot. Everything is fine, I just hit my head this morning. I’m gonna be late for class just…” She began to leave, putting a hand up “Don’t come to the house again, okay?”
“Yes ma'am”
~~~~~~~latter that evening~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~Bruce’s Home~~~~~~~~~~~~
He feels guiltier than shit. He knew her dad was an asshole, everyone knew. Their family was fairly prominent in town and her dad, Rich, had been coming to the shop since the senior of Jacob’s and Son’s had first opened. Mr. Jones was not a man to be messed with. People had talked, as they always do, of Mrs. Jones disappearing for a few days, returning to social events attempting to cover up with makeup. Bruce wasn’t very interested in town talk, but he didn’t care much for men who hurt women and children, it was cowardly. It seems Kate had learned tricks of the trade. Sometimes he wondered why she stayed with him, but he supposed it was hard to leave while going to the school he was paying for.
Kate really was beautiful, with her long hair in perfect curls. She was well dressed, but he wondered what she would look like in a tee-shirt and jeans. Probably just as beautiful. He didn’t like how the other men talked about her, he had to tell them to knock it off.
“I hear she’s an easy lay, Bruce”
“She might even take mercy on you and give you a pity fuck”
He didn’t care for that talk about ladies in general, but especially not Kate.
Bruce looked at the clock and it was only 9 pm on a Friday. Time was going too slow, he decided to hit up the bar and see who was around.
~~~~~~~~~Kate’s home~~~~~~~
Kate winced as she applied more make up to the bruise on her face. This was hardly the worst she’d seen, but the feeling of her dad's fist in her hair as he tossed her into the wall made her wince a second time. One more semester of school and she was out. Luckily, she was out tonight too. Her mom and dad were out of town. She knew she couldn’t go to the bar’s around there, word couldn’t get out to her dad. But if she went farther out, to the bars on the edge of town, she could get a drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~At a bar on the outskirts of town~~~~~~~~
Kate had, perhaps, a few too many drinks. Everything was feeling fine, until Edge of Seventeen came on and she downed her drink to go dance. She worshiped Stevie. She admired her freedom, her ability to be who she was and how she wanted. She admired the way she seemed to claim her sexuality. It was hers. She’d sleep with whomever she wanted, because she wanted to. Not to get men off, but herself.
The song ended and Kate made her way back to the bar, trying to order another cranberry vodka, wondering what she had to do to the DJ to get him to play more Stevie.
“Hey sweetheart, here, I got one for you already” A handsome young man handed her a cranberry vodka.
“Oh wow thank you!” She took only a sip, seeing how it tasted. So far so good. He was handsome, maybe she’d go home with him tonight. She took another sip, feeling the vodka practically replacing her blood.
“What’s your name, beautiful?”
“Uh, my name’s Kate, and you?” The way the man was staring at her made her uncomfortable. Like he was just… waiting…
“Jack, it's a pleasure” He put a hand on her thigh, making her stiffen.
She moved his hand off her, “I think I’m going to go dance” Kate stood up to go.
“It’s Phil Collins, maybe we can dance together?” He didn’t give her a choice, grabbing her waist with one hand and her wrist with the other.
“No, thank you, please just let me go” Kate started to panic.
“Just one dance” he pulled her close.
“Hey, the lady said no.” A voice came as a hand attempted to push the man away from her.
“Bruce?” Kate recognized him, despite being drunk off her ass.
The young man didn’t relent.
Bruce continued “Listen buddy I’m gonna give you one more shot.”
“What are you gonna do about it?”
Bruce was hoping he’d say that. Before the man had a chance to see it coming, Bruce punched him in the nose, causing blood to come out and Kate to scream.
The bartender shouted over the loud music “BRUCE! What did I tell ya about getting in fights?!” He threw his hands up, annoyed.
Bruce shouted back, smiling a cheeky smile “ONLY WHEN THEY DESERVE IT?!”
“NO! GET OUT AND TRY AGAIN TOMORROW” The bartender waved him away.
“ALRIGHT SEE YA DAVEY” Bruce waved grinning. He looked at the groaning man covered in blood on the floor. Bruce had walked in 10 minutes ago and only had one drink, but the punch was worth it. When he saw Kate, he was surprised to see a girl like her at a place like this. He watched her for a few minutes, he didn’t want to be a creep, but he was curious. He watched her get all excited when Stevie Nicks came on and dance like no one was watching. She was stunning, her brown curls slightly teased for more volume and her dress was black and tight around her torso with no sleeves. It was simple, flaring out at the hips, but the woman inside the dress made it captivating. She was clearly drunk, still downing the cranberry vodka the man had given her as she stared at him on the ground.
He sat two seats down from the man who had given her the drink, hearing him ask what “That drunk chick” was drinking. He watched the drink, making sure nothing was put in it. Although Bruce was a little jealous of the attention the handsome man was getting from Kate, he wasn’t going to interfere when he saw him touch her leg. However, when Kate tried to leave and the man wouldn’t let her go, that’s when Bruce stepped in. Not out of jealousy, but because his mama raised him to protect women, and his dad taught him to fight. When he was a kid, he hit his dad with a baseball bat after his dad was screaming at his mom. To little Bruce’s surprise, his dad didn’t hit him, but started laughing. His dad told him “Bruce, don't ever let anyone hurt your mom, not even me.” Bruce took this to heart and treated all women the way he would’ve wanted his mom to be treated.
When Bruce turned back to Kate, she looked like she was going to be sick “Oh my god”
“Come on, let's get you outside”
Bruce had to half carry her out the door to the alley where she threw up on his shoes.
“Shoot, this is embarrassing., I'm so sorry...” she muttered
Bruce reassured her, noting how she wouldn’t swear. “No it’s ok, I didn’t even like these shoes” That was a lie. The only nice pair of shoes he owned had pink puke on them.
“I felt fine until that last drink.”
Bruce held her hair as she threw up again “Is there a friend I can call or something? There’s a payphone inside, I got change.”
Kate moaned, looking at the puke. “I’m sorry, I’m humiliated.”
He straightened out her hair when she stood up “No, trust me, it's not anything I haven't done before… Maybe less pink…” he wiped the vomit from her face with his sleeve.
“And no, no friends I can call”
‘You’re not driving, can I take you home? I can drop you off nearby so you’re dad doesn’t see”
Kate laughed, “It’s ok, I’ll take a cab.”
“No cabs come out here, Sweetheart. I really don't mind”
Kate smiled at him, “Okay handsome, whatever you say”
Bruce wondered if she was flirting like they used to, before he got her hurt. “I’ll drive your car”
“What about your car?” Kate stumbled to keep her footing as they walked to her car.
Bruce opened the car door and attempted to set her inside nicely “I came with a buddy, he can take my car home” This was a lie, he had come alone. He would get his car later. Bruce wasn’t entirely sure how he was getting home, but he figured he’d spend the night walking.
He made sure she was buckled in and drove to her house in the hills, she was silent. He looked over to see she was sleeping. The garage door was left open, he noticed no other cars were parked in the double garage “Hey Kate, you’re home” He gently shook her, wondering how she was going to get inside if he couldn’t risk her getting hurt if he was caught.
Kate groaned “No, I’m too tired” She turned over.
Bruce sighed and got out, going around to her side of the car, when he opened it, she was still trying to sleep. “Hey, little girl” Bruce gently took her chin in his hand and turned her face towards him to get her attention “Is your daddy home?”
Kate looked at him. Oddly, in the garage light, he still looked ruggedly handsome, like Harrison Ford. “No, he and my mom are away for the weekend.”
Good, no risk of her dad trying to kill him or hitting her “Is it ok if I help you get inside?”
Kate smiled, knowing what this would lead to. He wanted her, and she wanted him “Of course.”
He unbuckled Kate and helped her walk into the house using her keys, she couldn’t hardly stand on her own. He wrapped his right arm around her waist, attempting not to feel more than what was necessary but it was hard in such a tight dress. He opted to curl his fingers into a fist around her waist so his fingers couldn’t feel anything.
“My room is down this way, end of the hall” She was hanging off his arm, leading him to her room, stumbling, but he stopped outside the doorway “What’s wrong?”
Bruce smiled shyly “I don’t think it’d be proper for me to go into a lady’s room, miss.”
“Come on, how you gonna know I made it safely?” she was looking at him innocently and she took his hand and pulled him in.
“Alright, just till you get settled.” Bruce didn’t want her to get the wrong impression in the morning “I’m going to grab you water, you’re gonna want that”
Bruce went to get the water, worried that at any minute her dad would burst in and beat his ass. When he walked back to her door, he knocked.
“Come in” Kate called
“Oh Jesus,” Bruce muttered. Kate was in her underwear and bra standing by her bed, but she walked over to Bruce as he averted his eyes from her. The image of the skimpy underwear and the body inside it was seared into his head, she was stunning. Kate attempted to touch him, and it took everything Bruce had to not touch her back “Sweetheart you’re drunk, let's just get you to bed.” He grabbed the robe from her dresser top and put it on her as she tried to land a kiss.
“It’s fine, come on” she pulled him onto the bed on top of her, loving the weight of him on her, drawing in his smell.
Bruce took her hands in his and pinned her to the bed to stop her touches “Kate…” He looked at her underneath him, this beautiful girl wanted him, and he wanted her, but he knew he couldn’t have her.
She looked disappointed. “Don’t you want me?”
“That’s not really the point.” He got off the bed
She sat up “Do you think I’m pretty?”
Bruce sighed “Of course I do. But I don’t think I’m any good for you”
Kate pouted, but then he face went bleary again “Oh god”
“Shit” Bruce realized she was going to throw up again “Come on, up” he took her to the bathroom and held her hair back while he puked. When she was done, she sat by the toilet “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to sleep with me after seeing all this either” she looked exhausted as she leaned against the wall. Bruce wetted a towel and cleaned her face “Hey, that’s not it at all. Trust me, I’ve been here and way worse.” He was careful around her temple, taking time to gently take off the makeup and took a moment to look at the bruise, suppressing the anger he felt.
He found some mouthwash and figured it would easier than getting her teeth brushed “Here”
Kate took a swig and swished it around, Bruce had to help her lean back into the toilet “God, I feel like crap” and leaned back onto the wall.
Bruce smiled, even drunk off her ass, she didn’t swear. “Stay here” he stood up.
“I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere for a while” Kate muttered
Bruce grabbed the water he had left on the counter and brought it to her “Here, this will help with the morning”
Kate drank the glass and thanked him, she began to slump against the bathtub adjacent to her. “I’m just gonna sleep here” she murmured
Bruce chuckled, she looked very different from the well dressed woman he knew only earlier today.
“No, you’re not.” He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed as she leaned her head against his chest.
He gently laid her down in her bed, pulling the blanket over her. “Goodnight Miss Kate” he brushed the hair from her face. She looked angelic, so peaceful resting against the white pillow. He placed a glass of water on her bed stand for the morning and put her trash can beside her bed, just in case. As he walked to the door to leave and turn off the lights, he heard her call out for him, oh-so sweetly “Bruce?”
He turned around to see she was still awake “Can you sleep here tonight?”
“Miss, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She sat up a bit “Please. It’s been a bad day. I feel safer with you here”
How could he say no to that? He looked at her in the soft light coming in from her window, her eyes were lidded, he thought of her dad and how he might come home anytime. But she said he made her feel safe, and that’s what he wanted. He wanted to protect her from every man who might hurt her, for the rest of her life. “Sure. Yeah.” he laid down on top of the covers and crossed his arms so they didn’t wander, making sure to stay on the far side of the bed.
“Relax, you can get under the blanket. I won't bite” She muttered.
“I think I’ll just stay here, thank you Miss Kate”
“Bruce?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you”
“Don’t worry about it Sweetheart, you saved me from a boring night”
~~~~~Kates perspective~~~~
Kate woke up that morning feeling like shit. She attempted to piece together the night. Shit, Bruce was there? She looked around the room and landed on the Settee sofa in her room. Oh shoot. Bruce is HERE. She recounted the night. Bruce rescuing her from the man at the bar, punching him, taking her home, refusing to have sex, holding her hair while she puked… carrying her to the bed… He even moved to the much less comfortable couch once she was asleep. He only was in the bed because she begged him… What was wrong with him?
She wrapped her robbed around herself and walked over to him, taking in the sight of the man who she had only previously seen full of grease and dirt, curled up on a small couch. It was really a picture. He looked so young and innocent like this. Kate wouldn’t exactly say it was a contrast to how he normally was; it wasn’t, Bruce was kind and warm. But there was something about having the mechanic sleeping on a pink couch warmed her heart.
She admired his curls, small mouth and kind eyes while she considered what happened last night. He took her home, that alone had led her to the assumption that they would sleep together. She came onto him, she was there in her underwear before him… and he refused her. He had insisted that he found her pretty, and the way he looked at her, she knew he was tempted… So why not? Well, the obvious answer was that she had been drunk, but that never stopped men before.
It’s fascinating. all her life, her body has belonged to men. To her dad, who dressed it up to the version he wanted and told her she had to eat a certain way to look a certain way. Her dad, who hit her body when it wasn’t doing what he wanted. Every boyfriend who wanted her a certain shape, every one night stand who essentially used used her body to masterbate, who didn’t even look at her while fucking… Bruce is the only one who treated her well and expected nothing in return, and had in fact refused her attempt to return his kindness. Least she could do was make him breakfast.
Her family out of the house, Kate was free to put on her own music. She chose, of course, her favorite album of all time; Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. Kate supposed she could make eggs and toast (she was not a good cook; it was all she could do)
~~~~ Bruce’s perspective~~~~
Was that Fleetwood Mac? Who was playing Fleetwood Mac in his house? None of the guys listened-oh that's right. Bruce opened his eyes and attempted to stretch but was stopped by the small couch. He looked over to the bed; she was gone. He ran the night through in his head, namely her coming onto him. God, he wanted to take her up on her offer, he really did. It was hard when a girl that pretty was offering herself to him. But his mama raised him right.
Bruce sat up, stretching out his stiff limbs before standing. He wondered if her dad had come home, should he make an escape out the window? No, he wasn’t a coward. If Rich wants to beat women, he’s going to have to be prepared to fight a man.
He walked out the door and followed the sound of music to the kitchen where he found Kate dancing in her robe to “You make loving fun”. Even though her hair was a mess, she still looked beautiful.
“Morn’n, Miss Kate”
She turned around, looking embarrassed “Oh! Morning, just in time!” She was holding two plates. “I was going to bring it to you, but we can eat at the table.”
Bruce glanced at the door involuntarily, “Uh, I think I should be going”
“My dad won’t be home today if that’s what you’re afraid of…”
“Well, I’m not afraid” He was a little afraid. He had gotten into his fair share of fights, but it wasn’t something he relished.
“Didn’t you knock out the guy at the bar? And the bartender talked like you had gotten into fights there before”
Bruce laughed a little. He had gotten into several fights there. If Davey didn’t like him so much, he was sure he’d be 86’d. In his defense, they always deserved it. “Knocking out a drunk man who isn’t expecting it is very different from being in an evenly matched fight.”
She smiled “I think you could take him. But please sit. Let me repay you for last night.” She set the plates at the table. Bruce noticed that the bruise on her temple wasn’t nearly as prominent, did she put makeup over it already?
Bruce considered for a moment. She had already gone through the effort of making him breakfast, so it would be rude to leave. “Okay Kate, I’ll eat with you. Thank you”
Kate beamed as they sat down and ate. There was an awkward silence. Bruce thought maybe it was best to eat in silence and just leave, but if his grandma ever heard he was rude to a lady, he’d have an earful, God rest her soul.
“You a Fleetwood Mac fan?” Bruce asked, making conversion.
She looked up from her plate, lighting up “I worship Stevie Nicks. I adore her.”
“That’s understandable, I’m more of an Elvis man myself”
“Beatles or the Stones?”
“Beatles, no question”
“Excellent taste.”
"Tom Petty or John Couger Mellencamp?"
"Melloncamp, no question. I mean, no disrespect to Petty, but, like Jack and Diane? God, iconic."
They spoke of music as they finished their food. Kate stood up to take their plates, but Bruce stopped her “Please, allow me” . He washed their dishes and put them on the drying rack.
She walked up beside him “You could stay the day, if you’d like…”
Bruce paused then turned to her “I don’t think that's a good idea.”
She frowned “You keep saying that. Why? If I want to spend more time together… is that a bad thing?”
Bruce wasn’t much taller than her, they were probably about the same height, but somehow it felt like she was looking up at him. Maybe it was her brown doe-eyes and pouted lips that made her look so innocent. “I don’t think I’m a good idea for you.”
Another step closer “But why not? You made me smile, you’re a good man, you’re hot…” She dodged her eyes to the side before returning to his, blushing, right side of her mouth quipped up into a half smile.
Bruce felt his heartbeat speed up. She thought he was hot, him! Someone like her looked at him this way? “I’m no good for you…” He repeated, but he was getting closer to her, yeah, there was make-up covering her temple.
“You don’t get to decide that for me…” she muttered, taking another step closer.
Bruce spoke lowly, looking at her lips, but his actions didn’t match his words. “I can’t give you nice things, I can’t give you what you want” One more step, wrapping an arm around her waist chastly.
“I just want you.” Kate pressed her body flush against him, feeling his body, hardened from the physical work “Can’t we try?”
He still didn’t think this was a good idea, but here she was: beautiful, sober, and asking for him? He smiled at her “Yeah, yeah we can” Kate smiled back.
He finally moved in, taking her lips in his as he pressed her back against the counter. He could feel her chest rise and fall as he grew hard against her. His hands roamed her body, savoring the feeling he worried he might never get again. Bruce moved his lips to her neck, placed his hands underneath Kate’s ass and muttered “Up” She hopped up into Bruce’s arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, he carried her to her bedroom. Gently, he laid her down on the bed and moved his hips between her legs, eliciting a gasp from her against his cheek. He continued the motion as he cupped her ass, grabbing and pinching as he went.
When Kate was worked up enough, he slid himself off the bed and untied the robe she was wearing. He kept it on, for now, because he liked how she looked in the pink, fluffy material. Standing above her, he drank in her body, perfectly curved and moving against the bed, anxious for him. When Bruce took off his shirt, Kate sat up, running her hands on his chest “Beautiful” she murmured hazily, mesmerized by the tan Italian body before her. He leaned over to kiss her again; she kept her hands on his as he explored her mouth, his hands snaking around her neck, making her shiver. His hands landed in her hair, giving a small tug “Lay back down.” It was a request, but his gruff voice made Kate clench for him.
She did as she was told, and he knelt before her, fingers running along the lines of her underwear. She looked at him under her, eyeing her. Kate sat up a bit on her elbows. “What are you doing?”
Bruce paused, straightening up to look at her “Sweetheart, has no one ever gone down on you before?” Kate shook her head. What kind of men has she been with? “Just lay down and relax, you’ll like this, I promise”
She trusted his word “Okay” she laid back down as he pulled down her underwear, hearing him mutter swears under his breath.
Knowing that no one but him had ever tasted her, he made it a mission to make her come from just his mouth, no fingers involved. When he latched onto her, he heard Kate gasp. She moved beneath him, responding to every touch, every lick, every suck. He wanted to keep her like this forever, the sounds she made were heavenly and he couldn’t imagine a more beautiful sight.
“Can I touch you?” Kate asked above him.
Bruce chuckled, “Of course.”
Her hands found his hair. She took his curls in her fists, loving the thick texture and being able to guide him to where she wanted him to be. She could feel herself getting close, hips bucking against the scuff on his face.
The muscles in her stomach were tightening. “F- hmmm god, fu- God!”
Bruce pulled away for a just a moment, noticing she was still stopping herself, he teased “You can swear here honey, I won’t tell anyone”
Kate pulled him back to her sex “Shut up” she muttered, but she was smiling. Bruce moved to focus on her clit, he knew she was almost there by how tight she was pulling at his hair.
When Kate came, he could’ve sworn that she took out a chunk of his hair, not that he minded “F- god, FUCK” She finally swore, the strength of her orgasm wracking through her body. He continued with his tongue inside her, licking her up as he held her hips to the bed.
When he crawled back onto her, she looked spent. Bruce tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, kissed her cheek, and asked “Do you want to keep going? It’s okay if-”
She pulled his lips to hers again, kissing hard and giving his lip a bite before she answered “Don’t stop” she whispered, touching his thick arms.
“As you wish.” kissing along her mouth, chin and lips, he took off his pants and underwear, his cock finally free from the constraints. Bruce heard her moan when he placed to fingers inside her, he just had to feel inside her today “Fuck, so soft…”
Kate reveled in the feeling of his rough, calloused hands working her, as his 5 O’Clock shadow rubbed against her cheeks. Fuck, she had never had a man like this, a man like him.
When Bruce lined himself up at her entrance, he kissed her, entering her slowly, carefully. Kate took matters into her own hands, bucking her hips up to take him fully, adoring the sounds that spilled out of his mouth. “Fuck me.” she demanded, and he obliged.
The headboard rattled against the wall as Bruce vigorously pumped into her, focusing on the feeling of her taking him so well and the little sounds that she made. If he thought nothing could be more beautiful than the sight of her body as he went down on her, well, he was eating his words. Bruce sat back, a hand firmly gripping her to keep her from moving up the bed with every hard snap of his hips into her. Now this, this might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He realized that he had never even gotten to taking off the bra she wore under the robe from last night, nor the robe. But man, did he love how she looked like this.
Her pink robe was sprawled out beneath her, mirroring the mess of brown curls on the pillow. The way her breasts looked in that bra? Shit. He would take it off next time and really, look at her, but right now, he wasn’t stopping. The fluff of pink at the end of the robe tickled his legs. She reached up to touch his chest, obsessed with the feeling. He laid over her, gripping the headboard for a new angle that she seemed to really love. “Fuck, fuck Bruce, just like that.” Hearing those little swear words spilling out of her pretty little mouth did something to him, knowing he did that to her… He wondered what that mouth would feel like, taking him… Another move for another time. There would have to be another time now, he hoped.
“Bruce, I’m gonna… I’m gonna-, fuck, no one has made me come twice, please make me come…” She pleaded up at him with those beautiful brown eyes.
He didn’t want this to end but how could he deny her another orgasm? Not when she was begging him. With one hand still on the headboard, his freehand moved to her clit, working the bundle of nerves as he rammed into her, hard. She yelled out for him, he inadvertently slammed the headboard into the wall, breaking a part off from the top. Kate paid no attention, feeling the orgasm roll through her body, the wave of pleasure pulsing through her.
When came out from the haze of pleasure, Bruce was still fucking her. “Sit up” she ordered, he did as he was told, Kate felt empty as he left her. She crawled onto her stomach, taking him in her mouth.
“Fuck, fuck Kate…” He entangled his fingers into her hair.
Kate briefly pulled herself off Bruce “Come in my mouth.” She went back on him, working herself up and down his shaft.
She was so wet and warm, he couldn’t hold off anymore, emptying himself into her mouth as requested.
When he finished, he pulled her and himself to lay on the bed, Bruce felt the silk robe beneath him. Kate was entranced with Bruce’s hair, playing with the curls, feeling the sweat on his scalp.
“I’ll fix the headboard” he assured her. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry for a single thing that just happened…” she moved to place her head onto his chest that she was so entranced with, tracing along each muscle.
He laid there for several minutes, until the bruise on her pretty face caught his eye. Most of the make-up had either rubbed off or came off from sweat. He gently touched around the bruise, careful not to graze it “No one will hurt you again, I promise.”
REBLOGS HELP A LOT BC NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOKING FOR THIS!!!!
Come read part 2!
#bruce springsteen#bruce springsteen fanfiction#bruce springsteen smut#smut#i'm on fire#born in the usa#80's girl#springsteen#springsteen fluff#bruce springsteen fluff#Bruce springsteen fanfiction
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hp update: 1st leg of quidditch sideplot completed; jocks reviewed.
also a few other things. last i left you i had decided to take a break from the main plot to focus on sidequests only. howsoever, the game is set up in such a way that every now and then it will have you wait 3-6 hours before you can play the next level. this actually lends itself very well to how i was playing. i would first start out doing a quidditch level, then hit a paywall and so move to another of the sidequests, and should i hit another paywall id move back to the main plot for a level. in this way i actually got caught up on the chapters and the sidequests for a time. now a new chapter has been released a day ago or so, but i wanted to write an update before i started it, so here we are.
I BOUGHT THE DANG HORSE. the abraxan. i managed to scrape up enough red notebooks to buy it but now i have to gain max animal friendship with it so that quest is at a stand still again. i named it horse town.
andres sidequest ended up extremely bitter sweet... he tells me all about his sports bully and i advise him to confront the unsavory individual, since he obviously didnt want to get the school staff involved.
the intervention backfired however, and the two ended up dueling. the bully is kicked off the sports team, but andre is also banned from playing the next game. this is rather heartbreaking because he tells you that his grandmother is extremely ill, not likely to live much longer, and she had made special plans to travel to hogwarts to see his next game. she was the person who got him into quidditch and gave him his first real broom, which i now see is the very same one i borrowed from him in year 4 to sneak out of the castle on. snape snapped it in two.
while i am reeling from the realization that no one ever managed to fix that and give it back to him, he says “its ok.... well, no actually, its not.” but hes not mad anymore. he gives me a special quidditch necklace his grandmother also gave him and theres no option to refuse to take it.
i get the feeling that there was a route i could have taken to get the good andre ending, where the bully is punished but he is not and his grandma gets to see him play. story-wise, its a good tone shift. actions have consequences and the mc has responsibilities. i still want to find a way to make it up to andre somehow....
but back to the main order of quidditch business. 1st off, we have 3 new children.
1: skye parkins. this girl is the heir to the parkins quidditch throne. a big deal, apparently. probably has adhd. penny is a huge fan of hers. i think she and the other 2 new kids change house based on whichever house the mc is in. skye in particular has some great new animations that i am a huge fan of, like tearing pages out of a book ad infinitum, and swinging a broom like a baseball bat in order to knock gnomes out of a stadium and back into hagrids garden. im pretty sure her voice lines are shared with merula. played one mini game with her and it blasted me up from friendship level 1 to level 4.
2: murphy mcnully. not actually on the team, but an “unbiased” announcer. loves talking quidditch strats and just talking in general. gets his own special talking animations, used both when announcing and talking one on one-- this boy just cant turn it off! possibly autistic, definitely a wheelchair user. gets his own special wheeling animations and when you eat lunch with him his chair never disappears, it can be scene off to the side, empty, not clipping through the table. this is the kind of attention to detail i like to see. did one minigame level with him and was also blasted to level 4. however-- YOU CANNOT PLAY GOBSTONES WITH THIS BOY!!! i imagine that this is because this is a game played sitting on the ground..... i guess it would be too awkward to try to model a scenario in which gobstones is played on a table.... it makes me so sad... his voice lines are also shared with charlie.
3: orion amari: this boy is the shaggy of the troupe. captain of the team and really into forcing his players to balance on one leg on their brooms for hours on end, he is all about going with the flow, which infuriates the uber-active skye. also has his own special talking animations and body language, just imagine the hippie character archetype and you got it. hes got some pretty sick broom surfing moves and we also get some great trying to balance one-legged on a broom while being attacked by pixies animations from levels with him. i dont think ive gained his friendship rights yet. his facial hair does a good job of making him look more like a teen when hes the same height as all the other kids. i dont think he has any voice lines assigned to him at all. i guess none of the existing kids have voices that would suit him as well.
the actual gameplay itself is fun too. its like the “focus” minigame in class where instead of clicking the circle, you drag a ball to bonk into the circle and there are 4 of them. sometimes you have to hit them in a certain order, sometimes its timed, and sometimes its both. pretty easy to win. costs a lot of coins that pile on quick.
ive caught up with the quidditch plot but it was left on a cliffhanger so we shall see.....
#hphm#hp#harry potter#harry potter hogwarts mystery#skye parkin#murphy mcnully#orion amari#rambling#Thoughts#quidditch#sirius business
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Shadow Of The Colossus? More like Great Experience Of The Colossus Amirite?
What can I say about this game that hasn’t already been said? I’d bet not much if anything at all to be honest, but on the near to impossible chance that this is the first you’re hearing about this game and I have the pleasure informing you about it (or you’re just here for the mad bants) then strap in.
Kitted out in all the gear.
Quick semi-disclaimer, purely for the fact it's the version i've played most recently and it gives me more delicious cinema like screenies I'll be on the most part talking about the "hot off the press" remaster for ya boi the PS4 rather than the PS2 or the PS3 versions which I definitely own and have definitely 100% completed (Insecurities bleeding through). So then lets get kicking.
General Overview
Gen. Overview, we meet again for the first time. So then, you’ve just bought shadow of the colossus, you’ve remembered the past or heard the hype and decided to indulge and buy yourself a copy for the PS2,3 or 4. After the JapanStudios and Bluepoint logos break the emptiness of your screens you’re met with a stunning scene of a full moon caught amongst shadowed peaks and as it begins to dawn on you what caliber of game this will be and the choir kicks in and after following an eagle soar through this landscape the camera catches and follows out protagonist and his companion Wander and Agro.
So by now the cutscene has ended, 5 or 50 minutes of you sat stunned have past and you realise what you’re in for. You select new game on normal difficulty (because obviously you’re a good gamer but you’re not going to choose hard pfft this game could be crazy) and the game begins properly, for real. Even without knowing anything about this game, reading colossalpedia or reading any item descriptions at all it’s pretty easy to get the jist of what this games about. You’re bae has died and a big gender ambiguous hole in the roof tells you to kill 16 colossi and they’ll return the favour once you’re done, off you pop.
Controls
If you read, watch, listen to other reviews for this game you’ll find that over and over again that this game has terrible controls and that more often than not it’s the games one fault. I however, happen to disagree (oooooh EdGy alternative view), admittedly the original PS2 camera was a tad whacked up but it was a small price to pay for the sheer magnitude of such a game on that console, and even then they made up for it by giving you some wicked collectible postcards in the game box so it’s all cool. Even so, this problem was fixed with later remasters with more fluid camera controls and better graphics to turn “bad camera angles” into “cinegraphic shots”
Photographic proof I’m a hipster collector and can say I know what i’m talking about, even if I don’t.
I’m going to avoid talking about the colossi at the moment as much as I can since i’m going to discuss them later and make this even longer than it’s already going to be so for the remainder of this section i’ll say some stuff about mechanics, scenery and maybe throw some of the bonus stuff in. I don’t know i’ll decide when i get to it.
Gameplay
Once you’ve finished meeting Dormin (The holy hole) and you’ve hopped on Agro you hold up your sacred sword which helps you find where your next victim and you follow it as closely as you can tackling puzzling environments and the most agoraphobic world you’ll ever encounter between your location and your destination. (If only I had that sword I might be able to find where this reviews actually heading). Once you reach your destination and before the cutscene your next epic clash it’s easy to see that each area is specifically designed for how you’re meant to tackle this foe, whether its an open area made to emphasise your battle partner or an enclosed field with brittle spires to take advantage of, every part has been meticulously crafted to make the encounter easier without taking away the incredible feeling of defeating these giants on your own.
Big mommas house.
I’m running out of words for epic and colossus so i’m going to smoothly transition over to mechanics now. Each fight at its core is the same, you have to find a way onto the colossus, hold on, find the weak spot and stab it till it dies, using two main mechanics of Holding/Climbing and Stabbing. Seeing how theres 16 Colossi in this game (A mere glimpse of the planned 48) it would make sense to think that this would get repetative. However, each colossi is so different from the last with only a few showing similarities (ahem the minotaur bros) and this partnered with utilizing the environment, the horse, or the bow in different ways for each and sometimes not at all makes each battle a brand new experience in of itself. Which is great considering you have to play this game at least 4 times to be able to say you’ve completed it, which in a way is like fighting the original 48 planned colossi.
After you’ve completed your first run, experienced the twist ending and had your adaption back into our reality you get to play through it all over again but this time in the aptly named “Hard mode” which is essentially the same except some of the colossi have more weak points, you do less damage but take more and the colossi try to shake you off more and oooooh do some of them try to shake you off. There is no real reward for completing Hard mode except being able to say you’ve done so and no one likes that type of guy (I’ve completed hard mode). With Hard mode out the way you’ve experienced the twist a second time and while the magic of the game never leaves the initial oomph does fade and it’s at this point the time trials come in. From here on it becomes less of an experience and more of a game.
To begin time attack you have to pray at the shrine of the colossus you wish to challenge (which probably has a meaning but this isn’t game theory with mousemat so i’m not going to figure it out). Depending on the difficulty the time you have to defeat it changes but aside from that it’s the same as the previous fights but without the travelling and time pressure is thrust upon you. The best part about the Time attack mode is that for every two colossi you defeat you get a dandy new thing to play with ranging from a harpoon to the worst parachute ever, to save this being any longer than it needs to be i’m going to refrain from listing them all but trust me, they’re alright.
The Colossi
Now ladies and gentlemen the moment i’ve been waiting for, I get to spend an hour writing about each colossus individually hopefully saving whatever respectability there is in this sub-par review. So in no particular order, aside from the order they come in in the game, the Colossi: #1 Valus [Minotaur A]
I’m horny and he’s scared.
I’m going to keep these short so don’t worry, not long left. Valus the shortest of the 4 bipedal colossi and the first of the minotaur bros, valus is an excellent tutorial, not the smallest to take away from the sense of scale but not the biggest allowing for more oompah later on in the game he is an excellent introduction to the game. The platforms on his back have often been criticized but if they weren’t there then where would his pet birds rest. Good/10
#2 Quadratus [The Mammoth]
Only half as horny as I.
Coming in at number two on a list in chronological order is Quadratus, still seen as a tutorial colossus he is the first colossus where Agro and your bow can be incorporated easily. To new players without a walkthrough the only real challenge is getting onto him as his leg hairs aren’t easily accessible but once thats out the way you can prepare for another epic feeling riding this beast for its final moments. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)/10
#3 Gaius [The Knight]
Duck me.
Strolling by at the tallest of the bipedal colossi its general consensus that Gaius is where the game begins, his battle includes a puzzle, he is a challenge in himself to scale and he has more than one vital spot. His arena gives impressions of being custom built for a champion like him as it’s a flat platform raised above a lake, with little background scenery sans the temple on the horizon accentuating how lanky this challenge is.It’s no mystery why gaius is plastered all over the promotions for this game. 9/10
#4 Phaedra [Kirin]
A stallion, Baby! I can whinny! I can Count!
Phaedra? More like puzzle because holy moly this one took a while to figure out, another where jumping aboard isn’t just an option you have to use the environment and then hop on its banging dreads and once you’re on its head you better hold on because larger Agro bangs his head like he’s bopping along to the games own soundtrack. This is the last colossus at the moment with its weak point on it’s head and things really change up in the next battle. I’m Trotting/10
#5 Avion [-]
I died getting this shot.
The story hasn’t started developing yet and you’re beginning to feel a slight lull at this point, you get the jist, there’s big things you got to kill. So far they’ve all been roughly the same size, had the same pattern and been one of two designs. Enter Avion and you had best jump when he enters or you’ve got no chance at catching this speedy boi, this battle brings back the original feeling of grandeur and sprinkles new flavours of epic over the top. The feeling of flying is portrayed so well here with the wind rush graphics and the resistance you can feel the resistance in the controls. Also as you can see this one’s got a helmet so you’ve got to find those weak points elsewhere. 9/10
#6 Barba [Minotaur B]
Prick
The second of the minotaur bros and by far the worst, I could have done without this guy. After solving the easiest “puzzle” ever you just think back to your training with Valus but instead of go up his back... go up his front! On his big dumb beard. Remember how I said phaedra bangs his head? That’s a spirit level compared to how much this guy shakes and everytime he shakes you have to charge up your blade all over again. If it wasn’t for a slight exploit where you can cancel his shaking animation if you time the stabs right I could have broken my first controller over this spice. -0/10
#7 Hydrus [The Eel]
I wouldn’t swim through that warm bit if I were you.
Another innovative and creative battle? Surely not. Well yes, yes indeed, a slippy boi this time and one of my top three, I love this battle. Often ridiculed for having bad AI or tough combat people ridicule this snake for not coming up to the surface, well i’ve got as word describing people like that bad at games all you have to do is imagine his line of sight and splish around in it and he comes up, you grab on and either tackle the electrode spines or avoid them entirely. Not the only subterranean colossus but the only water one unfortunately. ~~/10
#8 Kuromori [The Gecko]
Not the most annoying mouth cannon i’ve seen.
So far the most Aggro colossus we’ve met and on of the better puzzle ones, it doesn’t get so caught up in being a puzzle it stops being a fight. This colossus is one of the colossi who know you’re coming for their life and he’s not going to let you just take it. Unfortunately once you’ve cracked his puzzle he’s a cakewalk on later repeats but the first time he was the first I considered to be an opponent. Appreciative Head Nod/10
#9 Basaran [The Turtle]
The most annoying mouth cannon i’ve seen.
Here we go, the only other of these creatures I despise, the other being Minotaur Beard. The trick to this one is surgical precision and digitally accurate timing, if you don’t have that then good luck. This monstrosity needs tipping over (Because his developer names turtle *fake laugh*) and the only way to do that is to get him standing over one of the nearby geisers when it goes off, then you shoot his legs out and climb up him when he’s flipped. After the trial and effort it takes after all that you’re met with another run up it’s back and stab its head scenario exactly like quadratus. Also did I mention if you’re not at the exact right range he will spam the hell out of that cannon attack, I did not feel bad killing this one. Fuck you/10
#10 Dirge [Naga]
It took 15 mins and this was the best shot
Similar to his sibling from another parent dirge is the second subterranean colossi and definitely the less chill of the two, you still want to ride this one and stab his back but you don’t have to worry about splishing to get his attention this time. He wants you. One of the better puzzles of the game but not entirely obvious at first you have to get this one to crash into a wall and take the opportunity then to get on his back and land the killing blows. Quite an average experience to be honest lots of people place him at the bottom or the tops of their lists but I feel once you’ve got the trick down he’s a big pushover. Onix/10
#11 Celosia [The Lion]
You mess with the bull, you get the horn.
You find the sunken city, you continue on alone as Agro can’t handle stairs and you enter a temple with flames licking the was. Destroyed pillars? A roof? Before you can begin picturing the type of colossus you will fight an overweight cow with anger issues jumps down from the roof and you have to abuse its psychological fear of fir to break its armour and take advantage of the bare flesh. With it being further in the game it’s another colossus that feels like more of a puzzle than a duel but even so, overpowering a creature closer to your size is just as satisfying as a walking obelisque 50 times your size. 2 Horns/10
#12 Pelagia [Poseidon]
About as large as a blade of grass.
Swimming takes a while in this game. It’s not bad or hard to control, it’s just slow. and this battle has the most need for thought out swimming. Avion was just a swim to the start and Hydrus was just a splish and ride, but Pelagia moves while you swim which takes slight angling. When you get on his rear nub and worm up his back to his head you’re met with a crown of teeth rather than a weak point and with this you get to drive a colossus *play revived power*. It’s the inclusion of the steering your new whip and the incorporation of towers to access the colossus that make this fight original and shows you that the developers still had new ideas this close to the end. 7/10
#13 Phalanx [The Snake]
Game of the year 2005
Here we are, the star of the show. The fan favourite and it’s no question as to why, after a few experimental colossi that required thinking and plans this battle brings it back to the roots. There’s a big thing, you’re hopelessly insignificant, it’s completely innocent and you’ve got to kill it. The only one in which I had to take a screenie of the cutscene as it is too huge to fit in one shot during gameplay. Surely a colossus in every sense of the word and one where the magic never fades. 11/5
#14 Celosia Cenobia [Cerberus]
Mess with the Boar? You get the tusks?
From reading other reviews i’ve found that ceonbia is often cited as the worse of the two diddy colossi saying that Cenobia was a retexture of Celosia in a convoluted puzzle. I disagree though I think this is only because Celosia came first, Cenobia is the more aggressive of the two as it doesn’t have an apparent fear and it’s puzzle is way easier to figure just from looks. My only gripe is that the time to charge its charge is the exact amount of time it takes to get back up from a knock down so if you go down then you might as well move out because you’re done. CtrlV/10
#15 Argus [Minotaur C]
I’m so tired
The third and final minotaur bro and the biggest of the three, Argus. By now you kind of get the jist with these guys you have to get on their head and stab it with maybe another point on his chest, arm or even hand?? Once again often bashed for being another copy especially at the penultimate spot but I think it’s location, this guys cool as hell. Plus he’s the only one with black hair. C/10 #16 Malus [Evis]
He’s just too big for one shot
Finally, the big boss. This is a great boss fight, it doesn’t take away from the grandeur of the previous bosses but he has a whole sense of scale not seen in any other battle yet, and half the battle is just getting to him never mind on him. Also holy moly is he aggressive from as soon as you get up the initial ramp just to see him he’s firing lightnin out of his hands and waving his kilt like a nutjob. He fits perfectly on the difficulty curve of the game and is an incredible end to an incredible game. 16/48
Final Say
That’s all i’ve got to say really, it took me about 5 hours to write this and if that dedication to this game doesn’t convince you to play it then... fair enough it’s not really much of a reason to play it. Although you definitely should, it’s an alright game.
#sotc#Shadows#of#the#colossus#Shadowsofthecolossus#PS2#PS3#PS4#Playstation#Game#gaming#review#gamereview#it#took#so#lonely#tokyo#make#this
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This kinda ties in to the way you mentioned that Roman has anger issues (at least to me, it does): hc that Logan always has to know where Roman and Virgil are. Virgil's usually home, so that's okay, but sometimes Roman's theatre rehearsals and stuff run late or something, and whenever that happens, Logan starts calling and texting constantly until he gets a response. Roman can usually deal with it, but sometimes he feels really restricted and gets annoyed at Logan which usually why they fight.
good shit good shit
tw for fighting/yelling, anger, alcohol/drinking
-Logan is a really protective & paranoid person. he’s not really sure if he can blame that on his parents, or his past relationship, or if that’s just how he is naturally. regardless it gets him into some annoying situations.
-Logan always has to know where Virgil and Roman are. always. it doesn’t ever cross into abusive behavior where he yells at them for not telling him where they are, or forbids them from going places. he just worries about them getting hurt, or somehow getting themselves into bad situations. but it’s still pretty unhealthy. he’s just afraid of admitting that.
-Virgil is home a lot of the time so Logan doesn’t really need to worry about him (of course he still does), but Roman stays at the theater late some nights, and Logan really doesn’t like that. the theater isn’t necessarily in what you would call a sketchy part of town, but it still isn’t the nicest, and that sends Logan’s thoughts running wild. he tries to stay calm, and rational. he tries to think of logical explanations as to why Roman doesn’t tell him when he’ll be home some nights, and he tries to not jump to conclusions. but it isn’t always that easy.
-One particular night Roman stayed at the theater way later than he usually does, and Logan was worried. he called him then texted him a few times when he didn’t answer.
nerd💖: Are you coming home soon?
nerd💖: Surely, you should be finishing soon.
nerd💖: Are you even at the theater anymore?
nerd💖: I understand that you’re busy, but I wish you’d at the very least send me one text. I like to know that you’re okay.
nerd💖: I’m sorry I worry so much. I wish I didn’t think so negatively. I just can’t help it.
Prince💛: omfg, Logan. calm down. im fine.
Prince💛: ill be home around 1. don’t wait up.
nerd💖: I’m waiting up. Virgil and Patton are asleep so I have nothing to do.
Prince💛: oh my god go to bed Logan. Virgil’s gonna freak out if he wakes up & sees that neither of us are there
nerd💖: He is aware of what I’m doing.
Prince💛: idc go to bed before i flip my shit
nerd💖: Why would you “flip your shit?” There is no reason to be angry.
Prince💛: ur the reason to be angry! ur worried for no fucking reason. u know where i am & u know why. that’s all u need to know.
nerd💖: I apologize. I’ll leave you be. Please just text me to let me know when you’ll be coming home. I love you.
Prince💛: yeah. love you too.
-Roman came home around 1:30 that night, and was upset to find Logan waiting for him in the living room. He sat next to him on the couch, and took off his jacket and shoes as he said, “I told you not to wait up for me, and what do you do? God, Logan. I told you that I was fine.” Logan sighed, and look at Roman as he said, “Well, you’re not the boss of me, Roman. I can do whatever I want to do as long as it isn’t harmful.” Roman stared at him in disbelief for a moment then stood up as he yelled, “It is fucking harmful, Logan! Your paranoia is harmful! You’re.. It’s suffocating me.. You always need to know where I am, and if you don’t you freak out, and that’s not okay!” Logan frowned and looked down as he said, “I’m sorry.. I just worry that you’re hurt or in a bad situation when you don’t answer me.. I know my behavior is…unhealthy. I will work on it.” Roman huffed as he walked over to the front door, and said, “I’m gonna go calm down. Don’t freak out. I’m staying on the steps.” then went outside, and slammed the door. Logan flinched, and frowned at the floor for a little while. eventually he decided that waiting for Roman to come back was pointless, and headed upstairs to find comfort in his other boyfriend’s sleeping form.
-Once outside Roman got the whiskey he keeps in his car out ((ik that sounds bad but he never drinks while driving he just hides it there)), and tried to drink his anger away. it wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism, he knew that, but he didn’t care. he was tired of Logan’s paranoia, and he was tired of always getting unreasonably angry. he just wanted to be numb for a little while. he wanted to focus on the burning in his chest & stomach instead of the burning rage in his head & heart. eventually he finished the entire bottle, and when he realized that it didn’t make him feel any better he smashed it on the ground. he almost laughed at the broken glass surrounding him, and how it resembled how he felt inside. mumbling angrily at himself he pulled out his phone, and texted the last person he should be texting right now.
Prince💛: heyyy babyy im sorry i got mad at you i got a lot of issues haha
nerd💖: Are you drunk?
Prince💛: pffft noooooo
Prince💛: ok yeah lil bit
nerd💖: Ugh, Roman. You imbecile. Are you outside still? I’m coming to get you.
Prince💛: noooo don’t do that i gotta calm down i don’t wanna be mad at u anymore
nerd💖: Well, alcohol certainly isn’t going to help with that. In fact I’m sure it’s only increased your rage.
Prince💛: theres a lot of broken glass i should clean that up
nerd💖: ….Why is there broken glass?
Prince💛: the whiskey didnt help so i broke it lol
nerd💖: My statement stands.
Prince💛: wut
nerd💖: Nothing. Stay where you are. I’m coming outside.
Prince💛: baby noooo u gotta stay inside & stay warm it’s cold out here
nerd💖: All the more reason to go out there, and get you. Please stay where you are.
-Logan went outside, and forced Roman to stand up. Roman immediately collapsed into his arms, and cried. Logan frowned, and wrapped his arms around him in a secure & loving embrace. he wished he could stay there for hours just listening to the calming sounds the night produced while comforting his boyfriend, but it was cold and they had a lot of things to talk about. so, Logan brought him inside, and lead him upstairs.
-They spent the rest of the night holding each other, and talking about their issues, and discussing ways to fix them while Virgil slept in ignorant bliss besides them. the next morning they were passed out in each others arms, and Virgil was awake, and happy to see their relaxed expressions even if they’d only last for a few hours while they slept.
-Logan & Roman fell into their normal routine once they finally woke up as if nothing ever happened, though Roman’s headache was a grim reminder, and for now that was okay. eventually they had to reopen the wound from the night before only to stitch it back together. it was a harrowing task, but they did it for each other.
((kinda just now realizing ive made Logan & Roman’s part of the relationship a lil unhealthy oops lol i should fix that. idk just send me an ask if you want them to fully work out their issues. maybe they’ll do some couples therapy. cool? cool))
#sanders sides#polyamsanders#logince#logan sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#patton sanders#olishc#LRVerse#fighting#tw fighting#yelling#tw yelling#alcohol#tw alcohol#alcohol mention#tw alcohol mention#whiskey#anger#tw anger#angst#tw angst
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tbh me
i started believing in god when i was 5 or 6, my aunt had a little patient , it was dying and she asked me and my mom to pray for him, that night we did it, then my mom fell asleep , but i couldnt and it was the first time i prayed for myself , at the next day the kid was like new ,and i think that was the day my faith was born
i used to have self esteem problems at the age of 15, it was sophmore year , and for me every single girl was undeniable prettier, smarter and just better you could say i was empty , i was really depressed and thought of suicided , it was until my friend mily noticed and we looked for help , she was also fucked up
the thruth is i fucking hate when people pity me but sometimes involuntarily i make them do it and i feel like the worse person after that
one of the things it turns me on the most about you is your temper , and maybe its because its exactly one of the things im missing
to be honest , i really try to make things right with you , i really wanna share my life with you , i wanna see all your sides and it really scares me the thought of loosing you, im aware you are imperfect but the more i think about it the closer i want you , the better i wanna become even when i feel like shit
the thruth is ive never liked the taste of the alcohol, never , not even for one day , i guess i just used to drink it to not be the only awkward one not doing it in front of people , it was until a couple months i realized it was dumb
i discovered at a young age how much harm i can cause bc i caused it , it is really scary to think how many bad things you can do and how its so easy to make bad instead of good
im afraid i wont know how to manage money when i get older with real responsabilities
im afraid my dad will probably not see my future kids
the thruth is that there are times when i really dont take care of myself , i dont know why it just happens
the thruth is i get really mad many times and no one notices because i try my best not to show it , but if people knew how picky i actually am all the time they would say im crazy , even you would
the first bar i went was with my father and his ex , i was 18 , so far ive gone to 8 bars since then , and six of them it was in the company of my dad and his girl , the other two, one it was it ali, we got so drunk we both ended on her shower floor just laughing naked , and the other it was for jesus birthday , and to be reeally really sincere , i dont find those places exciting unless you are drunk and well like i said , alcohol is extremely disgustting for my paladar
to be honest , i dont know a lot about politics , it has never been a topic of my interest , just like sports but somehow the way you talk about it captures my attention and even makes me develop a critic, though i dont say out loud because i think you might find it stupid
to be honest i can be very stupid , very emotional , very rancorous, lazy , inmature , i stress over the smallest shit and the worse thing is i stress the people around me , ive failed to people i love leaving them , i admit i wanna do a lot of things but i dont do them cuz im afraid of failure, ive lied , ive wished bad things to people on my head and then regret it, i dont consider myself smart enough for fights and thats why sometimes i say the same bullshit 2000 times , im weak
i believe in curses , my whole family does , i did curse someone once , and something happened
actually the person i admire the most in my family is my uncle , lowkey i hope in the future i can be at least half of the good person he is , there are times when i get sad just remembering i let him down but i also think that it wouldve been worse all the mess i could have done now if i stood on his side
in the things i wanna do before i die
i wanna travel the country if not this one maybe another one in one of those recreative vehicles
i wanna write a book of whatever
i wanna have my own little bussiness preferible one i can manage from home and that only needs me
i wanna go to a country like siria someday and relieve the pain of many people
i wanna get married ,and wear a super princess white dress and record the whole thing
i wanna fix my teeth
i want a small wood house in the middle of a mountain or near of a private river
love myself
so far those are things i dont speak out loud , maybe theres more but are not on my head , i dont wanna hide anything from you , ive done things i know arent right and ive regret them sincerely , i just wanna make things right with you and with myself , being honest im really hurt for the situation we are in , specially when you tell me stuff like the ones you told me earlier, im just trying to redimn myself for that thing i did wrong and that is pushing you away , i want you to trust me , i want arfel back
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More venting, ignore, tw btw, but please don’t read it (just needed to get it out somewhere)
i just
she got me
in her traap
it was fine for so long
but she has\d\ problems
i was okay with thema dn fried to help er
but i was in shit too
i tried so hard
i tried to be her friend
tbh i was a try ahrd
bu we knew eachother
she convincef me to join a sport with her because jer parents forvced her to join
she begged me to join so I did
she left me out of anything
she left me to be with her other friends and ;eft me alonf with people i dodnt’ like ot know. i was the slowest one so it sucked ass
she was pff with this other friend and acted like i was trash
she dodnt want to walk to this chick anymore but her parents wwere asses so she stopped woth her
but i was still trash
she got me to agree woth her even wen i didnt agree, made me shit on my other friend that was in shit too.
she never tried at anything and always complained instead of doing it like everyone else
i tried to be patient but it was getting rediculous
she couldnt run for ten seconds or even attempt to hit the ball in gym
i was dealing
not well
she told me about her parents
abuse
i told her to find evidense
nobody will beleave her is she had no proof
but she didn’t all she did was bitch
i beleave her 100 but she KNEW if she did what i told her to then it would be okay
but she didn’t
i told her i was almost a year
she brushed me off
then she came runnign to me about cutting herself
‘shouslf i do it?1?!?!?!’
of cousre no
i took her to the counceler
she wasnt mad
but now that i think about it
not related but she never beleived anything i ever said ever
i had proof and facts but she brushed me off
she literally said she will never beleice anything i say until she sees it herself
wtf
i couldnt deal
she had me on a string
to do anything she said and always be there for her but when i needed someone guess who was busy talking to her more important friends
she went to the hospital
sometimes i wish i was in her position
she hasnt’ stopped with the cutting, thats what i mean
sometimes i need it
i need it
its so easy
whats stoppeing me
nothimg
but i cant
i want tattoos
i want a body i dont cringe att
i cant
the blade is staying away forever
she came back
it was as shitty
with the manipulation
she made me feel like shit for feeling better about myself
why is it bad to fee; good?
she never gave me an answer
she bragged about her friends
the things she did
who they were
i was trying so hard but they were better now
i started to pick at her bullshit
she didn’t like that and pulled at my mind
on tumblr she kept posting again and again how she wished she had a best friend and she had no friends and nobody cares about her
i was there
was i not good enough
what did i do
this made me mad
my other friend left
the hospital
i blame myself
its still my fault
i dont know whats true becuase shes messed up my perception of the situation but i blame me
other friend
was suicidal
she told me she tried 50+ times
and she had plans to kill her parents but i don;t think she would go through with it because she would be caught
it was a debate
to tell or not
i said yes shit friend said no
shit friend said she could ‘fix’ her and to give her time
thats not how it works
she should know
i told
other friend was problably going to die within a week
it was the only way
was i supposed to let her die
the mh isnt good but she can’t die there
other friend was gone for a week
she reminded me every day whose fault it was
i missed her
it was the only way
i still feel guilty
they blame mee
all of them
all of them
when she came back they talked as if I didn;t know what it was like to go to bed starving or wanting to die or cutting myself
shit friend tryed to kill herself more
i didnt care
she fucked me up so bad
it wrong to feel this way
so dont tell me
i dont want her to know it was me
she posted
about suicide\
i watched her blog
waiting
i secretly wanted it to happen
she did it multiple times.
at one point i was so sure thst i had obituaries open and waited days to see for updates
i was waiting for it to work
every post me made about her misery made me happy
its wrong
i know
but i dont care
but now
shes so much better off
she has everything
a girlfriend
money
a car
so many friends that send her things and talk to her
shes happy
she got away with it
but in the process she left me
they say to cut out people but i cant
i cant
i still look for her in the hallways
hoping that she would talk to me
and not do it
and want to be my friend
i look for who she talks to
i judge myself when she walks past me and look to see if she saw me walking past her
and im still attatched
i cant let go
i wish she wasnt happy
becuase she did this to me
and got away with it
and now i have to pick up the pieces
and
i think im starting to move on
im just going to pretend it never happened
like she never did this
as if it never happened
becasue when shes confronted
she cuts herself
but this is it
im done
im going to pretend as if it was a game that we were playing
im healing
by prentending it didn’t happen
its easier
its simple
and the thing is theres problably more
that i can’t include
because ive blocked out so much that i dont remember
but im healing
its at a standstill at the moment but its good enough to be considered ‘okay’ and ‘happy’
I distract with ice skating
its always a temptation to take ice skating blade and do it
it was sharpened
but i wont
i wont
Because I’m moving on
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