#sometimes i forget happy endings are not a given and im... cry...

[kei-maki]

Thank you for doing a matchup trade with me <3 here's my matchup!

FANDOM: I would like a ADULT MALE MATCHUP for hazbin hotel, please. I don't wanna be matched with angel dust or husk (I have no problem but I don't see myself being romantic partners with them)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and I've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person, I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when | go out | bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i love kids even though if they can be annoying i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, I love psychical affection a lot so it's not a problem for me, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love someone, they'll be seen.

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more LOL.

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi)/Filipino, I'm very skinny like just flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, 1 have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on, I’ve also been told I look like choso (JJK) and dazai osamu (BSD).

hobbies: gaming, anthropology, pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages (look in my bio hehe) and I'm learning more right now (which is hindi, vietnamese and taglong if your interested).

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Abstract or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: all of them, LOL. (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving).

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

IM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGGG

But based on the information you’ve given me, I match you up with…

🐤❤️Lucifer ❤️🐤

I KNOW YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM BUT I HAD HIM IN MIND BEFORE YOU SAID THAT, LET ME EXPLAIN

- First of all, would go shopping with you if you ever asked if he wanted to, might be a bit skidding since it’s you know, OUTSIDE, but if it’s for you he’ll do it

- Doesn’t care what you’re wearing, he thinks you look amazing regardless and will heavily praise you

- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E Spoon him, especially since you’re taller, he will literally melt in your arms, whisper sweet nothings into his ear before bed while you do and he’ll start crying from feeling so loved

- Honestly pick him up and he won’t even question it, he’ll just be like “oh ok”

- Will definitely show off his wings to compensate for the height though

- He has given you a duck of every kin you listed, and overall just for everything you like or represents something you like, all presents, he just came up to you blushing, like a penguin with a rock, one day and was like “here” and he hasn’t stopped since, and probably never will

- I feel like speaking of presents, that’s a good transition into love languages. This man will gladly accept all of them and definitely needs it. As everyone can tell he needs words of affirmation and physical touch he is touch starved, so like previously said, hold him and tell him he’s the best and he’ll melt. And gifts? If you’re from you they’re the best thing in the world, even if it’s something like a cracker with a flag on it he’ll call it cute and share it with you. Will spend all his time with you, being the shut in he is, and is beyond grateful for you helping around the palace, it helps take away the thought of some of his responsibilities so he can just rest and spend time with you

- As for YOU he will definitely return the favor, always telling you you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, that you’re his entire life, all while constantly cuddling you and peppering kisses all over your face, and giving you the most extravagant things He’ll has to offer, but if that’s too much for you? Don’t worry, how’s a chocolate scented cat shark plushie sound? Or how about that new manga volume you told him about that you wanted?

(Something like this visually for the plushie)

- I feel like he doesn’t like loud noises either (unless HES the loud noise, which might cause problems between you two), so he’s got noise canceling headphones at the ready to summon at a moment’s notice

- Movie/show date nights watching any anime, kdrama, or hopelessly romantic movie you want

- Will make your tea for you (and will spill it in regards to the hotel of course)

- Info dump to him and he will gladly listen, engraining every single detail to memory, asks questions and shows genuine interest as well

- With you both being mischievous and playful, and you having a contagious laugh, I can see many laughing fits over the silliest of things

- If you spoil him with gifts his heart will flutter, it’s usually the other way around

- Not at all afraid to show you off either, all the PDA in the world. Want to hold his hand? (I’ll take that hand now-) He has four now so he can do that AND hug you, no one has a doubt in their minds that you’re together, he will proclaim his love to you with a 99 power point slide on the News with no hesitation

- Will honest on his fathers name kill anyone who makes you feel like shit or like you have to hide your wonderful personality. That double Hell comment Angel made in the pilot? Yeah, that’s what’s gonna happen if ANYONE messes with you

And… I think that’s it? Lmk if you want more though! I’m not sure if this was long enough ;-; but I hope you enjoyed it! This was actually pretty fun to do!

[lifmera]

Thank you for doing a matchup trade with me <3 here's my matchup!

FANDOM: I would like a ADULT MALE MATCHUP for hazbin hotel, genshin impact and black butler please! I don't wanna be matched with angel dust or husk I have no problem but I don't see myself being romantic partners with them)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and I've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person, I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when | go out | bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i love kids btw i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, I love psychical affection a lot so it's not a problem for me, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love someone, they'll be seen.

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), rei ayanami (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more :)

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi)/Filipino, I'm very skinny like I look mostly flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, I have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on.

hobbies: gaming, anthropology, pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages and I'm learning more right now.

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Playing Tabletop RPG's, Abstract or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: physical touch, acts of service & words of affirmation(pretty much everything LOL) (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving)

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

HEY HUN!!! IM SO GLAD WE ARE DOING IT!!

Im so happy someone asked for black butler finally!!

I’ve decided to pair you with……. GRELLE, AJAX & LUCIFER!

She would LOVE that you are extroverted.

She finally has someone to talk to who isn’t boring !!

She also loves that you are independent! It’s what attracted her to you!

It also allows her to be able to do her job without having to worry too much for you- but DONT get me wrong. She LOVES to take care of you.

She loves to listen to you, all day every day. Talk about your day to her. My girl always has an ear out. Honestly she probably has a sixth sense when it comes to you.

She definitely is nosy asf. She wants to get in EVERYONES BUSINESS !! You guys could probably spend a week on gossiping about the same person.

She honestly also has her own problems- and DEFINITELY forgets shit to bring or do. She will rely on you 24/7. She needs someone to rant to sometimes- being a grim reaper is so harrrd!

She definitely does not mind the anger issues. Sebastian was mean enough- if anything she definitely would like it if you yelled at her!!

She probably would laugh a little bit if you started to get philosophical with her- but thats also because she literally will have no clue on whats happening. - she’d beg you to explain it to her too.

If you have an ugly laugh- she does too. You both would be CACKLING 24/7.

She loves that you care for other people- and animals too! It would warm her heart so much. Although she’d be jealous!! She wants most of your attention.

She’d buy you anything or do anything to see you happy. She loves whenever you get happy!! She’d totally buy you shit like chocolate covered pretzels and watch you eat them with a HUGE grin on her face.

Not gonna lie though. She HATES kids. But she’ll try for you 🩷

She genuinely loves that you take care of other people- and kiss your plushies?? Thats so CUTE- HER NEXT???!!

If you told her you loved her? You would hear it maybe like 1600x times a day. She’s def super clingy.

If you went out of your way to try and make her happy- she would literally want to take a BITE put of you. How came she resist?? You are just too sweet :)

She will always be there next to you in the mornings, when you have a tough time getting up. She’s been there on her hard days. She doesn’t want the same thing to happen to you.

With all those hobbies?? She’d definitely make you help her learn stuff. Piano? Teach her !!! Guitar? Oh my god ?!! LANGUAGES?? Speak to her and even if you called her a donkey she’d be all over you.

She’d love to hear about your special interests or more about your hobbies. Like ?? Teach me to skateboard?!!!

She’d cosplay with you. She’d love to do it!!

She LOVES your sense of style. Its so different compared to what she’d normally see? Like pick me? Choose me ? Love me?

Whenever you choose a new style- she’s always in the back supporting you. She loves to show off to other people too. Like- thats MY man.

She literally loves any love language. SHE IS INLOVE WITH HER S/O AND WOULD DO ANYTHINNGGG FOR THEM!!

She definitely would want to bake with you tho. She cant bake for shit, but she tries.

She also will definitely LOVE your art. She needs pictures and photographs constantly. She’d probably hang them on the fridge or put them in her pockets to look at whenever shes working.

Now to Tartie

My man….

Ajax was definitely drawn in at first by your sense of style. He would’ve been staring from across the street with a smirk on his face.

Until he see’s you again. He HAS to say something this time!

He definitely wants to listen to you talk !

You love kids?? God he already loves you? He has so many siblings! And honestly he probably wants a big ass family.

He started to become drawn in by your personality. He needs someone who can be independent while he’s constantly working with the fatui.

Let’s be honest. This man is a GOSSIP. He finna chat chat chat with you all day every day. He mever shuts up.

He loves to hear you laugh. It brings him so much joy Everytime.

Although he feels safe constantly- he knows he can trust his siblings around you,

He definitely would be more reserved when it comes to himself, he’d love that you are the dad friend.

He’s totally gonna forget shit to do- and he can’t always take care of his siblings!

He loves that you have a big heart. Not many people do anymore- it caused him to truly become attached.

He’s so happy that you aren’t ashamed to like what you like- neither is he! Be proud!!

He loves physical affection too- but unfortunately is never really around much for it. He’d always give you tons of kisses on the forehead in the morning before he leaves though.

He’d also try to make ip to you with a bitch ton of presents and gifts for you. Like “ I’m so sorry sweetheart- but i hope this puts a smile on your face :)”

But if he stays at home? He’s gonna want to rot in bed with you and cuddle!

Honestly. He’d probably also have a shit ton of plushies too. But he’d get jealous if you gave them all kisses and not him!!

He isn’t really emotional- but he’ll definitely try to comfort you! I think at first he’d suck- but he has so many siblings he knows what to do!!

Your hobbies?? Always keeps him doing something with you! Like talk to me in a different language?

He’d LOVE to challenge you to sports!! Although he’ll definitely become a tadd bitt too competitive . He just gets lost in it!

He definitely makes you do some pottery with him, and drinks or eats out of the stuff you guys make together.

Probably will fall off a skateboard 16 different times.

He LOVES watching movies with you. I think he’d genuinely enjoy K dramas. This man is DRAMATIC.

He would buy you so many things to make up for lost time together :((

Luci’s Turn!

I mean come on… how could I not.

He was drawn into everything about you. Your style- your heart??

He saw the way you treated Charlie and he was like “that’s mine now.”

He would LOVE to listen to you talk while he’s making some ducks!!

I think you’d both have some rotting in bed moments though!!

Let’s be honest. He needs someone to take care of him. He won’t do it by himself. He’s too scared to even call his daughter.

He will definitely confide in you about EVERYTHING. He has nobody else that he trusts. (Other than charlie but….)

He loves to hear about anything! Gossip to him.. even though hes an old man he’d be like “she did WHATTTT?? NO WAYYY”

I think Lucifer would be pretty hard to get mad at honestly.

He also loves to hear your philosophy stuff! He’s always asking what you think about, and why. He want’s to hear the thought process behind it.

He LOVES that you are also so sweet to Charlie. It makes his heart swell.

Honestly he’s huge on physical touch. If he could he’d always have you touching him in some way. Whether it be cuddling in bed with your 1000 plushies, or having you sit on his laps while he makes a duck that looks like you!!

He LOVES your style. It makes him feel like he has something new to look forward to everyday. He also likes to guess which you’ll wear!

Personally i think Lucifer probably knows every language known to man- but he’d want you to talk to him in a different language! He’d definitely flirt with you!

Play music for this old man please!! He’d love to hear you strum the guitar while he’s doing something!

Or art!! He’d make paintings with you- although he sucks. He’d hang up pictures or drawings that you took, and frame them.

He loves that you aren’t afraid to do what you want! Or speak what you want! It allows him to feel free.

He thinks puppetry is SO COOL. Like honestly- teach me NOW. He’d probably get the strings knotted though.

He’d love to listen about your love for animals- he’d probably buy you one too. As long as it makes you happy.

He’d do anything to see a smile on your face. Buy chocolates, red bull, more plushies, strawberries? He is already on it.

Also wants you to kiss him to sleep.

He doesn’t go anywhere ever- so he’ll always be for you during your low times. He’ll help you through everything.

He’s super clingy too. He’d want you to give him quality time!

He’d beg you to watch movies or shows with you. He’d also get ADDICTED to them. Probably starts SOBBING during K-Dramas.

~~

HI LOVE!! I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY FOR YOU!! I ENJOYED THIS SO MUCH ! 🩷🩷

[lizthinspo]

i keep thinking to myself just make it to the end of the year and then ur free to do whatever you please but until then we are crying and screaming my lungs out. isn’t it so funny how the only way i can feel ok is through being myself and driving around, bc that’s how i clear my head probably bc i wish there could be a reckless driver in my path that can pls kill me so i don’t ever have to go back home. i can’t go home. it’s like im not even wanted there, i know when im not wanted somewhere. it’s summer, MY summer, im supposed to be living, instead im crying thinking about ending my life, i feel like im losing control. the things that i used to make myself feel ok are being taken away from me daily. i feel like im going insane bc everything i do is somehow wrong or not what was needed of me and it hurts so much bc how else am i supposed to be alive and happy and ok if im not loved by myself and i hate myself inside and outside i feel like im not good enough for anybody, i feel like im the one person ppl always forget abt like when we’re in a public setting and with a bunch of ppl, i feel like im always the one to have been forgotten or left out. its a horrible feeling honestly bc I WAS THERE. i feel like i don’t deserve anything and i really don’t. but since ik these are my last few memories i want to make the most of them but im also scared of my mom and what she’ll say of me when im happy. and yes i smoke and drink and cvt but honestly i love smoking bc it takes away all of my pain and im left feeling nothing, ik it seems crazy but it makes me feel like im going to make it out alive and ok even for a split second but thats why im always smoking. bc you most def don’t help me feeling ok, you’re the reason why i never feel safe nor ok nor alive nor happy. i enjoy drinking bc im not gonna make it to 21 so im just getting to still experience it and also it makes me feel happy and danceful and full of joy but you always seem to take it away from me always and it truly sucks so much because sometimes i do really want to be happy w you bc you’re my mom. and i wanna be good for you but no matter what i do you can never truly appreciate anything i do. that’s why ive given up, bc you’re never gonna open ur eyes and actually see how much im trying. this summer i had so much planned! i was so hyped and excited abt it, you should’ve heard me all of senior year, talking abt how happy i was gonna be bc im free from school and im finally gonna be able to be me. idk what else you want from me, i wanna go out and have sleepovers and have friends and be out w them for hours on end and stay out late. you say i can’t go out bc im drinking but maybe if i went out more often without ur fucking mf bitch phone call on my ass every single minute. i wouldn’t be out drinking and smoking everyday as you probably think i do now bc i could actually experience happiness. and ykw my #1 rule is to never cvt myself for anyone else’s problems but i truly think that this one deserves one bc i think if she takes my car im actually gonna lost and idk what to do. i keep saying and telling myself to keep pushing for jared and jensen and misha but i don’t think i can bc im so tired and over everything i don’t wanna live anymore. i wanna slit my wrists or hang myself to my death bc i cannot bear the thought of you saying that you’re disappointed in me bc that shattered my heart and to just continue to tell me these awful things that i wish i could respond with just fucking kill me already FUCKING KILL ME! i’m sure that’s what she wanted to do either way. she says she’ll be here for whenever you need me but i don’t need you i’m fine without you in fact i’m better off without you. ik that my intentions are good for others not for myself bc everything i’ve heard come from your mouth i believe by the amount of times that you’ve told me the same things so much so that i start to believe it myself and that translates over to me hating myself constantly and not being able to experience having real friends and have a relationship and to just experience any from of love

[irissweatersbearthoughts]

WWDITS S5 ep 1 & 2 thoughts

HI, my friends!!!! **SPOILERS AHEAD!!!** Pls slide by, this account will not be safe for spoilers (for whatever current eps are out, i am closing my eyes for teasers on new eps).   Current thoughts, ep1 , HOLY MOLY I,,I really feel bad for Guillermo, they make my boy suffer so much. Though I couldn’t help but laugh knowing the other coworker at Derek’s place would not look up, while there is a literal blood scene on the floor. But, also why is this man still cleaning toilets, when he was given a huge sum of money, sir go get urself something nice... AJSNAs. Nandor was so cute on the carousel, and omg when he broke the door it actually scared me. I keep forgetting that these vampires can be scary sometimes, but we all know Guillermo would be the one to survive in the end. And lord puppy eyes for the guide, let her wIN, I support womans wrongs but Nadja baby pls.. AJSNA Ep 2, Again great, I just, I really love Lazlo and Nandor bonding more as per usual. It was so cute when Lazlo admitted he was jealous of Nandor’s hypnosis powers, and honestly, I feel like Nandor is getting more powerful not in just that, something is happening??? Idek...very nice for Nadja to find a place that reminds her of home, I was really going awww, especially when the guide mimicked her happy spin, reminds me of when Lazlo mimicked Nadja’s little dance as well. Also don’t think I forgot, fucking I, How the hell is baron Afanas keeps getting pretter in every frame, and me crying cause the sire was making himself a little circus with popsicle sticks, IM GUNNA CRY AND THROW UP. Why can’t I live in that house it’s not fair. Now for more Lazlo and Guillermo bonding.,, but honestly these new eps made me laugh and worried at the same time. We are in for some more Nandermo trauma, The writers of this show really popped off and I CAN’t-

In conclusion I’ve rewatched these 2 eps, twice already, I will partake in a 3rd watch, when I first watched I felt like life was not real, I’m so so happy! I ran to tumblr to check what everyone had to say, yall are so smart and funny! I want to draw but my hand is still sore from yesterday, I have so many things I want to doodle! More art in the future! Thank you for yalls support, feel free to tell me ur thoughts, sending Hearts! ❤❤❤ 

[catboyyukineapologist]

welp, this one’s a bit later than the last one but it’s that time of the month again! no, not your period. (although noragami hurts about the same...)

dim rambling under the cut~

---

Trash dad lost an eye! He got stabbed in the shoulder! Time to break out the champagne!

EBI AND TAKE CRIME SOLVING POWER DUO I LOVE THEM

Those two probably have my favorite dynamic out of the entire manga. It’s in the top three at least.

And now, a segment I like to call “Uncle Take Gets Ruthlessly Bullied By A Child“.

Take singing my beloved. TAKE SINGING MY BELOVED.

“I’m gonna be so damn dim” I LOVE HIM

That said, “Seemingly cryptic text is meant to be taken literally” is my FAVORITE DEVICE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, like “no I’m sure there’s a deeper spiritual meaning to this, something to do with the subtlety of the soul, or the musicality of the gods’ dance upon the line between the shores, maybe-” “what if we just fuckin uhhh do what it says on the paper”

DAD KIUN DAD KIUN DAD KIUN I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE SHIP TAKE AND KIUN BUT DAD KIUN AND TINY TAKE

Alright who had “Trash Dad Buried in a Magically Hidden Island Shaped Like a Giant Tooth” for July?

So trash dad is going to die, now it’s just a matter of who gets there first, I guess. Would he respawn if Yato kills him? would he possess a different body like he did with Fujisaki? can his soul be killed  by any means other than desecrating his weird tooth grave?

Is the netting tangling around Amaterasu Yukine’s righteous net? please tell me the netting tangling around Amaterasu is Yukine’s righteous net.

OK HOLD ON OOKUNINUSHI IS PART OF THE SORCERER TASK FORCE??? HE’S ON THE INSIDE INDSIDE

FERAL YATO IS BACK AND I AM EQUALLY SCARED OF AND ATTRACTED TO THIS MAN (which sounds like something Hiyori would say)

I’m sorry but whenever I see “and this is the thanks I get?” all i can think of is that one vine-

“I’ll kill you, you ungrateful brat!“ good luck with that with no depth perception, my guy.

Because we all know Adachitoka wouldn’t kill off their main character, right?

...right?

......guys?

Please fuck let Yato be okay emotionally after this (he’s not and won't be anytime soon, who am I kidding)

“In anger sometimes we forget that which we should not” Well, now I’m scared.

(shameless plug incoming) ...is this an appropriate place to plug my own fic? anyway if you’re somehow short on Yato angst and want another healthy helping of his daddy issues, and you don’t mind OCs too much (they’re fun assholes I promise), you can always read this one-shot fic i wrote like a year ago, (it has Sekki in it, can you imagine?), featuring Yato going off the fucking rails and projecting a little too much.

And as always, here’s your monthly reminder that trash dad is dead. trash dad remains dead. and Yato has killed him.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[dreamii-yume]

@shikigamiuwu said :

"So y/n is a sex slave that Lilia brought for his son for Silvers birthday ( let’s just say that this is a medieval ages idea setup), Since Lilia know that Y/N is Silver totally type of girl, decided to brought it and gift it to her. So Lilia dress Y/N in a sexy and expensive lingerie and give him to Silver became just like the First one infatuated to Y/N and was really possessive to Y/N, Silver will go to lengths of beheading the person who touch her or help her escape from his grasp. (Lilia just supporting his son and helping him clean the mess and train her darling). You can put spicy stuff more into it if you want."

AGAIN. This plot too has so much potential to be a Sinfic _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): im crying—

Warnings : Dub-Con | Slavery | Master-Slave Relationship

Since the Valley of Thorns is essentially a place where magic is everything, I would presume that a human who do not possess a knack of magic is treated as the lowest of the low.

The man that bought you was strange, a unique multi-colored hairstyle and his fangs were sharp underneath that mischievous smile. He says he has a lonely son who had been eyeing you for a while now, but you have no knowledge of this “son” he speaks of. But this youthful-looking adult seemed like a big deal, considering how your employer immediately sold you off without further explanations. Before you knew it, you were placed in a carriage with the strange young man, giggling about how happy you would make his son to be.

This “son” of his was named Silver.

One look at him and it was immediate to you that they were unrelated by blood. For one thing, Silver seems to be a human whilst that strange man who bought you was not, he was a fairy of all things. They sure do seem like they share the same fatherly bond as strong as any other family though, it almost made you envious. “Lilia”, the name of the man who bought you, had only issued one order for you to follow, the only request that he asked of you.

“Try and get along with Silver if you will, (Y/N). Keep him happy at all times.”

You were a slave, but you were brought as a gift to keep Silver company during his birthday. When you first met him, he was quiet and polite, a true gentleman that made you feel like you were the princess and he was your knight. Perhaps it was the fact that this was the first time that you have been given this level of respect in your life that it made you feel lost on what to do. But Silver never minded your awkwardness, he sticks to you like a lost puppy when it should be you who needed to act like that. He was as strange as his adoptive father, in the most opposite of ways.

Lilia told you that Silver had been “eyeing” you for a while now, that’s the whole reason why he specifically bought you in the first place, because you were already a familiar face to him. You were confused at first, but now that you’re actually here, serving Silver in actuality, you began to understand what he means. He acts way too familiar with you, often interacting with you that you don’t think is befitting for a master to do with his slave. He follows you around like a lost puppy, asking how your day was, and even shows you quite the affection sometimes. He doesn’t show too much emotions himself, but there’s instances of assertiveness whenever he’s with you that you just can’t help but notice.

Silver...doesn’t really let you leave out of his sight, majority of all the times, not that you’re allowed to anyways. Everything that you needed to do in private must be relayed to him or else he’ll come rushing in panic the moment he finds you not by his side anymore. It’s gotten worse to the point that you were not allowed to sleep on your own bed anymore or even take a bath by yourself. You don’t get lucky when he’s asleep either, you’d think he’s a deep sleeper but as one of the personal guards of the young master of the Valley of Thorns, his strength doesn’t falter even when he had closed his eyes for the night. One little movement you make away from him always ends up with him growling in his sleep and in instant, his arms tightly wrapped around you in a suffocating manner.

“Listen to me...” He told you one night, his head laying on your lap as he reached out his hand to caress your cheek. His touch was gentle and warm yet, his expression was stern and serious, the entire opposite to show you how much you needed to pay attention to the next words that will come out of his mouth. “You’re not allowed to treat others like this, do you get it? I should be the only one occupying your mind.”

“...Like you are to mine.” He started saying possessive things like that in just a span of a few weeks, you don’t quite understand what he means the first time but you nod anyways. He always smiles when you agree with him before, satisfied with your answer but you did not expect him to sit up from his position and leaned closer to your face this time. It was by then that you realized that he had initiated the first ever shared kiss between the two of you. He was gentle, yet impatient like he had been waiting for this moment for so long that he wanted to savor this moment for just as long.

His feelings for you became stronger ever since that day, but came with it was an even stronger possessive feeling for you. Both men and women are no longer allowed to come near you, god forbid what happens to those who even dare to look at you funny. He wasn’t a violent person, just passive-aggressive most of the time, but he has the power that can intimidate people away...Hell, he can even scare you in some degree. Long story-short, the only person that you were allowed to think of was him and him alone, there are no exceptions, but that goes the same for him too.

Then, came the day of his birth once again this year, it was such a busy yet joyous day for everyone. You provided him with a simple gift that you made yourself, in which Silver had rewarded you with a gentle, grateful smile like he always doees. “Thank you, I’ll treasure it dearly.” His words alone made you warm on the inside, something that you didn’t think was possible for a slave to feel. You were lucky to be able to serve a master like him, for you to be loved and treated like how a human being should be. Silver made you feel all those things, and for that you were just as grateful.

It almost feels like you belong just right in this family.

But as night came on the very same day, you wondered why Silver began leading you away from the crowd and into his room. He said he had a request, a wish that only you could fulfill, so you were more than happy to comply. But as he sat you down to the bed and began to kiss you like he had been doing quite often now; it began to feel as if something else was at play here. “I want you...” He whispered in a ragged, impatient breath, cheeks flushing as his hazy eyes stared intently back at you.

You didn’t say anything in return and just let him do what he wants, pinning you down by the bed as his kisses became even more erratic, messy, and passionate. You didn’t know what to feel, you were so used to the feeling of being treated normally, like a friend, like a family that you nearly forget what your status really is in the first place...You are a slave through and through, you are destined to perform these acts and please your master however they desire. But perhaps it was because you’ve become too spoiled due to how they treated you that you could feel your stomach churning from the feeling of being treated differently now.

You were...nervous.

As evident with how you began to breathe heavily from just with his touch alone and his hands exploring your body had you sweating bullets. You gulped as a response when he reached down where your clothed flower was, you were trembling. You are a slave, you should know by now that you are going to be treated like this at some point in your life, and yet you were scared. The realization and the true meaning of his words when your master said that he wanted you is coming down upon you at the same time. You were scared, terrified especially as he began to mark your neck and started pulling down on your clothes.

...But it was way too late to say quits at this point for you have already fallen, you’ve lost the moment you felt yourself at home in the comfort of this family. You have no choice but accept such fate, especially when Silver looked so ecstatic about it, mistaking your trembling body as an act of excitement. In the end, you should’ve known better than to get attached to your master like this, to empathize with him and allow your mind to create a soft spot for him. You can’t bear to see him enraged, disappointed, or even sad due to your rejection...It’s all too painful for you to witness.

...But maybe that was the point after all? The unexpected fate of the slave that belonged to Silver. A proof of how emotions can too be a lethal weapon to corrupt one’s mind.

[shotorozu]

Heyhey! It's 20th november here and uh, it's my birthday! Yeepee yoohoo or whatevs i suppose, um, is it okay if i request Bakugou, Todoroki, and Tamaki with an S/O who's crying on their bday? Like maybe life has been hard on them for the last few months and now everyone is pressuring them using "act more mature" or "you're old enough to stop acting like a kid" or sumn, and the fact that they're getting older just kinda makes them sad cuz now people are going to expect MORE from them. I hope that's aight, thanks✨💕

aaa happy birthday :) if you’re experiencing that then i’m sorry :(( you’re supposed to feel special on your birthday, so this is my birthday treat to you 🤍

you’re sad on your birthday

characters : bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, amajiki tamaki

legend : [Y/N = your name] i’ll use they/them pronouns. reader has a strong quirk

fic type : headcanons [comfort; angst-ish to fluff]

≿————-　❈　————-≾

bakugou katsuki

he likes to pretend he doesn’t really care that much about your birthday

again, he’s pretty tsundere— that’s how katsuki is

IN REALITY

katsuki cares about your birthday a lot

he’s been saving up for your gift for a few months, and he will NOT fuck this up

so, he’s kinda shocked when he sees your melancholic expression the entire day

you’re someone that’s usually pretty laid back, and you seem pretty carefree

you do what you want, even if it seems a little immature at some times

but— why do you look that way??

so he comes to confront you around dinner time while holding his gift behind his back, asking what the hell is wrong with you

but your eyes,, they’re teary eyed

“what’s wrong idiot?? isn’t it your birthday??”

he’s kinda confused, but his spirit is right

“i don’t know katsuki, it’s like it’s crashing down on me”

your room is dark, so he places the gift onto your desk quietly— before running his hands along the side of your arms

“talk to me, idiot. what’s on your mind?”

and that’s when you voice all your worries.

on how you’re getting older and older by the second. even though you guys are still young, the expectations people have on you are building up on you

“everyone says im being ‘immature’ for my age, and i’m starting to think it’s true.”

you heave, and you push your head against his chest (not wishing to see his face)

“Y/N, look at me.”

begrudgingly, you look at him— tears rolling down your face

and even in the dark, you can see that genuine expression on his face

“fuck everyone’s expectations. look, it might be pretty plain of me to say this, but does some random extra’s opinion matter? no- hell no. it’s irrelevant.”

and it’s actually quite true, you’re lost for words— are you surprised? no. bakugou has a habit of doing that, catching you by surprise.

“also, you’re not immature. you’re just really genuine, and take that compliment— idiot.”

you giggle. you’re no longer crying— and you wrap your arms around his torso “thank you, katsuki”

“no problem, idiot. i’ll beat up any idiot that’ll say that shit about you.”

you guys lay in silence for a while, and he pulls you off of him— and walks back to your gift

“happy birthday, idiot.”

todoroki shouto

he’s oddly ethusiastic about your birthday

“love, where do you wanna go on your birthday? i’ll get anything you want.”

though, he’s confused when you’re not sharing the same ethusiasm.

you’re pretty relaxed and upgoing, so this is a little off. something is weird.

he doesn’t like pushing things onto you, so hours before your birthday,

he comes to your room, and you’re simply staring at the clock— watching as time passes by you.

“what’s wrong, love? it’s fine to hate birthday celebrations”

he’s too blunt, but expect that from him

you sigh, trying to find the words that you want to say. he encourages you by running his left hand along your back

“it’s my birthday soon, and everyone is expecting so much of me.”

he blinks

he doesn’t understand, but— he’s waiting for you to elaborate.

“i mean, given my quirk— i’d see why but. in the end, they always forget that i can’t meet their expectations.”

you tear up

“and i’m getting older, and it’s building up on me. i know i have to suck it up some day but.. it’s painful. sometimes i can be a little immature but really- it’s just me trying to save what’s left of my youth i guess...”

you guys aren’t even that old ngl

his expression is pained, and he pulls you into a hug

“i’m sorry love, you shouldn’t be feeling that way. you don’t have to please everyone all the time, and if you make mistakes— it shouldn’t discredit you for your talent. embrace your personality, even if you find yourself immature— i’ll always love you regardless.”

you don’t say anything, but you’re smiling. that’s the important part

growing older is still scary, but with shouto— it makes the journey less intimidating.

also, he spoils tf out of you on your birthday

amajiki tamaki

oddly enough, he’s doing the midnight countdown with you

you’d guess he’d be asleep by now, since tamaki isn’t such a ‘night owl’ to be frank

but!! he’s so pumped for your birthday

so he’s anticipating the clock to hit midnight, and when it does..

he’s elated! he’s looking at you for that classical Y/N smile

but it’s not there..? your expression hasn’t been this empty.

he’s worried if he made you mad, and his anxiety almost sets off

“d-did i make you mad, Y/N?”

“what? no- it’s not that.”

“please tell me Y/N, i’m not sure if i can go pass this without you telling me..”

you sigh, the moonlight luminating your face— enough to showcase that melancholic expression

“it’s my birthday. i know i should be happy but, getting older is so scary- you know?”

he gets it, because he himself has his troubles

but you’re there to calm him down from his worries. that’s why he fell head over heels for you.

he’s so shocked— and he’s not the best at comforting, so when you cry

it makes it worse for him. it’s like he’s in that much pain as you are!

“b-bunny, i know how hard it must be.. i’m not the best at this comforting stuff, but i want you to know that i’ll always be here. you don’t have to match everyone’s expectations, that’s what you’ve taught me. and i want you to know that i-i’ll love you, really! and seeing you in this pain isn’t what i want. i don’t care if people say you’re ‘immature’ i love you for you, bunny!”

it’s honestly the most tamaki has said, and it catches you off guard too.

he seems equally as surprised as you are, however, his intent is solid.

“thank you, tamaki.” you pull him into a hug, tears rolling down your cheeks “i.. really needed to hear that.”

tamaki’s cheeks are painted a bright red, but he pushes deeper into the hug— his hands running up and down your back

you finally allow the emotions to spill. all the buildup falling apart, and does tamaki mind? no. not at all, he prefers you to be clear with your emotions the most.

he’ll be your #1 supporter, even if he has to speak paragraphs and paragraphs to you

≿————-　❈　————-≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for reading! (happy birthday exclipsses🤍)

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :)

[still-a-morosexual-help]

As someone who sometimes enjoys angst a lot of people use it as a way to cope with things in their life.

For me I like mc angst sometimes becuase I sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to be sad, I sometimes feel like my depression must be fake somehow becuase my life isn't bad enough to warrant me having depression even though I know that's not how it works.

Replacing mc with myself in angst on my bad days can make me feel, idk, validated for being the way I am sometimes?

And when its not mc or reader and its a character angst, reading something that makes me feel sad can also make feel like I actually have reason for being sad in the moment.

It can be a way to get out that sadness that im feeling in the moment in a way that doesn't involve me, in a way that doesn't involve self-deprecation.

Just thought I'd explain why some people enjoy angst, I know not all angst readers are like me but ice seen quite a few who are!

Hi! That's totally understandable! And I'm really happy you're able to use MC as a way to help with what you're feeling! And you said you already know this & you probably won't really care about hearing this from a stranger and ik (from personal experience) how hard it can be to believe it or even if you realistically know it's true how you can sometimes have a hard time accepting it but I want to say it out loud for anyone who needs to hear it today (& maybe a little bit for me too):

you don't have to fill a quota for your depression to be valid. It doesn't always need an actual reason to affect you and it's real because the things it's making you feel are real. Pls take care of yourselves💕

-

Back to the angst thing...

I'm not sure where I said I don't like or enjoy angst tbh....cause I read a lot of it myself too....

Hell, I write it too. I wrote some for MC & Mammon though I gave them all soft, mushy endings cause I can't stand to keep them hurting and I wrote darker, angsty ones before I got into OM! Not all of them are tagged as angst but they do all fall into the category and I always write them as a way to de-stress?? As a way to let it all out when things have been bad? I usually make the fics darker than what I'm feeling, I think as a way to make my own problems/feelings seem smaller

I don't really do self-inserts but when I'm feeling miserable I tend to read about fictional characters hurting so I can have a good cry about them instead of thinking about my own problems/feelings

Though sometimes it won't even depend on my mood and I'm just craving it for no reason

Usually I opt for angst with a happy ending but there are times when I prefer it to end sadly? Usually though, I only prefer fics that end sadly that are below 5k words, cause if I'm investing anymore time in a fic then I want a happy ending... (yes yes given that I have a 6.7k fic that ends in character death with a 2.7k alternate pov for that fic I am being a hypocrite)

Somehow, while I (somewhat rarely - only when I want to cry) read fics with a sad ending I completely avoid fics with bittersweet endings cause I can't handle that uncertainty

I don't really read OM! angst though, but I do come up with with angsty scenarios/headcanons relating to OM! when I'm at my lowest points. Nothing better than hurting Mammon to forget about the real world, have a long cry and then become emotionally numb for the next 24 hours :D

So yeah, I definitely understand where you're coming from when you say angst helps people cope with life & I do really enjoy it too

hope you have a good day nonnie♡

[hitozy]

have you ever ‹ masterlist › denouement

tw! manipulation, mentioned underage sex, dubious consent, cheating. i also want to point out that reader is around 2-3 years younger than Iwaizumi, while Jae and Iwa are the same age. ps. this is a long chp :)

𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞

Iwaizumi has no idea of what has possessed him tonight. He doesn't know why he's walking around the city in the middle of the night a day before he should be on his way home.

He doesn't know why after the celebration he didn't follow his teammates. He doesn't know why he has barely answered your texts since after the game.

He also doesn't know why he agreed to go and see Jae, to hear her out.

He's been doing fine so far, seven months Jae clean and while the first three were bumpy; your company had made it easier to deal with. Your cheerfulness, your happiness, the adventures you've both have been planning have taken his mind off the broken heart he was nursing.

She continued to contact him, even when he begged her not to and blocking her phone was no use, she just got a new one and tried again and again. His resolve was diluted and he knew it would be a matter of time before he fell into his old habits.

lil jae: congrats on the win haji! let me invite you to a drink, im in town.

-

Iwaizumi recalls an old memory from back in high school, a few weeks before moving to California, you were sitting on his bed helping him organize his suitcase with 'essentials'. His clothes all over the place but as always, you showed enthusiasm at helping him out.

He remembers you giggling and calling him a dork while folding his Godzilla themed underwear and placing it inside his suitcase. He remembers the way you hummed some songs that you had just placed on your shared playlist because 'it's kinda your style' and it kinda is. He even remembers what you were wearing, a pair of black running shorts and a blue tank top. When you reached over the edge of his bed for his fallen socks, your cleavage was visible to his eyes, 'If a man ever peers down his shirt', he thought, 'I'll kill him without hesitating.'

But what he remembers the most is you pulling out an old shoe box from under said bed, a shoe box that held his most treasured things. Pictures from his childhood that matched the ones on your bedroom wall, doddles from your hand, your favorite flowers pressed inside a copy of your favorite book, short stories and poems, snippets of stories never finished from you. He'll never forget your teary eyes and happy smile when he took the box from you, emptying the contents carefully inside his backpack. The hug you gave him afterward still sets his heart on fire, nothing has ever been more lovely than you and your happy smile.

He also remembers Jae coming into his room right during your hug, wearing an empty smile on her face, her eyes red and raging. He's only ever seen her this mad whenever he's with you and he still doesn't get it.

She stay's to "help" when in reality all she does is glare at yn the whole time. It helps that you don't even mind the glares or the bad mood, joking that 'Jae's grumpy because we couldn't go to the movies today'.

It was late afternoon when you left, Iwaizumi had given you a bag filled with some of his stuff - things he knew you loved and adored, things he couldn't take. He watched you get inside your parents car and wave him goodbye, even though you both knew he'd be coming through your window in a few hours for movie night.

He remembers when he came back inside to find Jae naked on his bed. How angry she was and how she took it out on sex, the tension so palpable he could taste it. Once it was over, she walked towards his backpack and pulled out all of YN's things and that's when it clicked. She was mad because he was taking stuff about YN and not her, she made it clear when Jae told him, 'What the fuck is this.'

-

He remembers that hours later, he finds himself in your room squeaky clean and wearing nothing but his sweatpants and socks, his back against your front with his head against your breasts. He hadn't told you that Jae broke up with him, but he knew you had figured out he was sad because your arms cradled him since he got situated there and had not moved since.

How Jae said she wouldn't move with him in the end. How she had decided to stay in Japan and have him go to California all alone in the end, just because she wanted him to. How he begged her to come, to stay with him, to not leave him and how he watched her get dressed to go home. How she winked at him as she left with a, "Call me once you're in Cali."

How she only wants to go out when she knows he has plans with you. How she only cares about him when you're around or how messed up and used he feels ever since she took his virginity during your 14th birthday party.

He feels disgusting sometimes after sex with Jae, disgusted with himself on how wrong it is but how much he loves her still.

He didn't have to say any of that to you, the kiss on the forehead you just gave him eased it all away anyway.

-

He remembers all of this while he's kissing Jae in her hotel room, her dress and underwear discarded somewhere in the room, his cock buried deep inside of her like a starved man, Her nails racking down his chest from his unbuttoned shirt as she moaned at the feeling.

When Jae separates herself from him with half lidded eyes, she smirks, "I bet my little cousin can't even kiss right, the little virgin." She kisses the column of his neck, grazing her teeth against the skin, getting ready to mark him as hers and even though he doesn't agree with her, he stays quiet.

A memory burst through his mind as he pounds into Jae. The way your sighed his name when he settled himself inside of you, the way your nails scratched his back when he hit your G-spot, the way you moaned when his thumb circled your clit; your gummy, tight walls griped him as you came, with his name on your lips. Your soft, pillow lips that have only been his, only kissed him.

"Be safe out there, Hajime! I'll be waiting for you!" She smiled as she kissed him goodbye by the front door.

He turned to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to him like a starved man, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna runaway, mochi."

As he walked down the steps of his house, he heard her say "I miss you already."

It's then that Iwaizumi snaps out of it.

He pushes her off of him and steps back until his back is against the wall, feeling disgusted with himself in a way he hasn't since they broke up.

"I can't do this, I won't do this, I-" he pushes himself off the wall, tucking himself in and picking up his stuff, "Never again, Jae."

Jae watches him leave, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Her gaze steady as his figure disappears into the night, "If you think you can just up and go, Haji, you are very mistaken."

She walks to where she hid her phone and chuckles as she presses send, "Lets see what my little cousin has to say, hmm?"

-

Iwaizumi was worried, it wasn't normal for you to not answer his calls or texts. He was on the road back home with the team, their ruckus would usually give him a headache, but right now? Right now he can't focus on anything except the little 'unread' mark at the bottom of his last text to you.

my one: mochi? r u ok? im on my way back home

-

He didn't expect to come back home and find you in the living room in silence. Your eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying, you didn't have to say anything for him to know what had happened.

Jae told you.

He wish he could be surprised, but Jae had been nothing but a devil all this time and he can't believe he never saw it until now. Until he married you, an angel.

"Mochi, I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, please talk to me." He knelt at your feet, his hands on your knees trying to get you to look at him. His guilt crashing down brick by brick, he should have never gone out to see her.

"I know this means nothing to you, mochi. But I'll never see her again, only when its a family reunion or you're with me."

Silence.

"There is no excuse, but yn, please, look at me, let me explain."

She pushes him off a bit, without much force as if her sadness took away all her strength and his heart clenched. How could he do this to his best friend? Lie and lie, again and again and again.

YN-”

“No, STOP! You- you got your say, now it’s my turn.” She's shaking and her breaths are short. She's starting to have a panic attack.

I get up and advance towards her slowly, “YN you need to calm down. Here,” I place my hand on her back, “let me-”

She pushes me off, her back towards me, “Please, don’t touch me. Please, please, please.” She's sobbing and its hurts so so much.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

“Remember your breathing exercises, mochi. In and out. In…”

Eventually her breathing normalizes but she still won't look at me and it takes all of my strength to not touch her.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me, Hajime.”

Whoever said words can never hurt someone, has never been in my place. She just stabbed me without a knife and its more painful than I ever imagined.

“I wanted you to love me, to see me as your wife, as a woman but you didn’t. You don’t and I- it hurts so much.”

“But, mochi, you said you would marry me so we didn’t end up with strangers.”

“I know.”

“Then why-”

“I lied. I’ve loved you since the moment you came into my life. I’ve loved you for years, even before Jae came into the picture. I’ve loved you so so so much, I love you so much.”

“… you know about Jae? Since when?!” I made the mistake of reaching out for her, she pushed me back and said nothing. The dread of her knowing, of her finding out before today makes me sick.

“If you knew then why did you marry me!? Did you think I would change? That my feelings would change? You know I’m not like that.”

“I do know. I- thought that maybe-, but then it was clear that nothing would change but, I made a promise to you and I said it in our vows.”

“YN-”

“I know the mistake is mine. I know what all the blame is mine to take, I know it and I accept it. I’m sorry, Hajime, that’s me that you have to stay with.”

She finally turns to look at me, but I wish she hadn't. The tears are flowing steadily down her cheeks to her neck. I did this to her, I hurt her again and again, without thinking. No, without watching. Because if I had paid attention to her like Jae did, I might have seen it sooner.

“We could get a divorce, you know. That way you can stop getting hurt. Stop your heart from breaking. You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s okay. I- I give you permission to do it, to break my heart forever.”

“…What?”

She takes my hand, and in-between the tears she smiles at me as if her heart wasn't breaking in two. As if I didn't shatter her dreams for a few sloppy seconds, “It’s okay, I know what I signed up for, I knew it from the beginning. I guess I just didn’t want to accept it. So go ahead, break my heart, break it into a million pieces! I give you permission, Iwaizumi Hajime, please just - don’t leave me.”

I can't say anything, what am I supposed to say? My sweet, sweet girl is hurt and damaged and all she wants is for me to stay. I feel disgusted in a way I never did with Jae, because instead of being used, I am using her.

I bring her into my arms, and say the only words that have actual meaning between us, "I love you, mochi."

"I- I'll do better, I promise. Please YN," He gripped her shoulders tightly, "Please forgive me, I'll do whatever just, I'm so sorry, baby."

He can feel the tears spilling onto his shirt, a scorching pain expanding through his chest at the consequences of his actions. He hurt the one person who didn't deserve it, who he promised to keep safe and happy.

"Hajime, please take a bath, I wanna sleep without the smell of Jae."

His heart dropped at her words, he forgot that he had just upped and left from Jae's, only changing his clothes for comfort. His skin still smelled like her. As he separated from her, he kissed her forehead, "Join me?"

-

He laid on the bed with her hours later, her head on his chest where he could see her puffy eyes. She had washed him thoroughly to the point were he thought she had scrubbed him raw, and he couldn't blame her - he wanted to do the same since the beginning.

He pulled her closer, practically on top of him and felt her heartbeat against his own. He had done something terrible and he needed to fix it, fix this. So he needed to take the first step.

to lil jae: for someone who says they love me, u sure like to make me miserable. i don't know why u hate yn so much and tbh i don't care anymore. i don't want to see u or talk to u ever again. if u contact me, i'm gonna get a restraining order, jae. i can't do this anymore.

to lil jae: goodbye jae.

do you wish to block this number?

yes.

Remorse is memory awake, Her companies astir,— A presence of departed acts At window and at door.

Its past set down before the soul,         And lighted with a match, Perusal to facilitate Of its condensed despatch.

Remorse is cureless,—the disease Not even God can heal;         For ’t is His institution,— The complement of hell.

Remorse is memory awake - Emily Dickinson

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! *hands you all this and runs* i'll see you soon for chp11~

but in all seriousness, i wrote this chapter with my heart on my sleeve. love is truly the strongest curse and for it to be unrequired? imagine it.

now, i'm off to write the next part! and i am sorry :) ♥

[arhvste]

can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?

love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈

-

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED

-

KUROO

kuroo is a perspective little shit 

he analysis’ anything and everything 

he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing 

so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them

he’ll ask you first

and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself

he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries

but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out

so one day you’re waiting for him after practice

and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together

however

this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you

“look its stupid little y/n!”

“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”

“i don’t know how he puts up with you”

“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”

they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far 

kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused 

you’re never ever late 

so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone 

now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid

he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately

he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom

he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them

but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them

so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them

“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”

“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”

“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”

“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”

there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had

the kids surrounding you are dead silent

“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”

kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours 

he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest

“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”

lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽‍♀️

kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh 

but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that

he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as

and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be 

“why didn’t you tell me angel?”

“i didn’t want to have to bother you”

“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”

kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore

the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs

all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you

and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable 

-

TSUKISHIMA

lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck

because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o

you’re done for 

this boy has no mercy

he doesn't even need to physically fight

his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it 

so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more

he grows sus

he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them

tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch 

he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you 

however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time 

just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics 

so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class

“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”

“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”

“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”

so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them 

but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class

right now you’re an easy target though

nobody to protect you

well that’s what you thought anyway

you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground 

the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair 

that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground

“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”

tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face

“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”

“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”

the other students don't even know what to say

they can't exactly say anything

tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults 

“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”

the bullies look at each other nervously

he couldn’t be serious right

“im waiting”

these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended

“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”

they be sprinting out the hallways 

“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”

“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”

tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things

“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”

and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone

OIKAWA

fangirls 

the absolute bane of his existence 

oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes 

especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan

in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive 

“you and y/n look so good together”

“i hope you’re treating them well”

“oikawa is is lucky”

but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you 

you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point 

you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no

you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls

classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class

he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend 

iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes 

you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand 

despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse

“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”

yes

“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”

“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”

the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect

you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on

“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”

at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you

“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”

you’d lie and give him a small fake smile 

but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one

like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon

it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now

he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour 

iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far

“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”

“my fangirls?”

“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”

now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around

you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter

you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around

oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention

he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you 

so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends

“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”

“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one

he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start

“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”

“oh y/n is here... that's cute”

oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone

they even had the nerve to say your name?

“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”

the fangirls are look between each other innocently

“what do you mean oikawa-san?”

“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”

the girls are silent now

oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed 

nobody sees him worked up outside the court

“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”

oikawa did not stutter 😌

king

the girls leave immediately 

“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”

“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”

“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”

“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”

“promise.”

after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you

yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser

but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.

-

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA TOORU AS DADS HEADCANONS ! ❞

✎ . . . i'm happy that your requests are open ! and for dad headcanons?? i am right here to serve my braincells for you ma'am. what about dad! sugawara & kenma? thank you in advance 🤓😘

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

✎ . . . will you please write about oikawa, bokuto, and sugawara as dads?? :>

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ sugawara koushi & oikawa tooru <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATSUMU VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . reposted because tumblr took it off?? ugh n e ways happy birthday again to my boy sugawara😔✋

SUGAWARA KOUSHI.

➜ before the arrival of your daughter, mans was totally cool about it; also ecstatic to say the least, he wanted to have a family for you for a long, long time, and when he finally has the chance to start it with you ─ he couldn't help but cry and be so soft on the spot with just the thought of it

➜ but he also couldn't help but be doubtful, doubtful of himself ─ will be a good enough father? will he be able to teach his daughter the important virtues in life? will his daughter even love him?

➜ but in the midst of those thoughts were you, reassuring him multiple times, that, if there was any man that you could think of, of being the father of your children ─ that man would be him, and only him

➜ ngl right now, mans wanted to give you another one after you said that 💀

➜ and when your first child was delivered, he was so encouraging and supportive of you, would whisper reassurance and words of affermations saying how great you were, how he was so blessed for having you.

➜ remember those doubts he had? all those thoughts fully dissapeared when your baby wrapped her fingers around his thumb for the first time, and suga couldn't help but cry ─ from joy? definitely, from satisfaction that you guys created this angel? of course. and relief? yeah, probably.

➜ sugawara doesn't want to spoil your daughter since he wants your daughter to know the importance of money and doesn't want her to end up being a brat

➜ but sometimes ,,, he couldn't just help it okay? ☹

➜ in the first months of parenting with sugawara, he was anything but the perfect dad but you could really see the parental instincts in him

“ kohana, come to daddy ” your husband, koushi, stretched his arms towards your daughter of five years; kneeling on the floor as you sat across from him, kneeling as well.

➜ as your daughter slowly waddled over to sugawara with a blank yet adorable chubby face, sugawara was overjoyed, to say the least.

“ yes waddle over to daddy ─ ”

➜ well, until your daughter cheekily ran across the opposite side, to you. as if flowers of many kinds surrounded her, she glided onto your surprised arms as you instinctively open tour arms out for her, a shocked laugh was heard from you.

➜ 💀💀💀

➜ your husband's jaw DROPPED Y'ALL😭✋ LET ME JUST AHHH

➜ kohana definitely got her wittiness and cheekiness from her koushi, and maybe some from you as well.

➜ sugawara let out an offended scoff as he got up so fast to chase your daughter around the house, as your daughter shrieked in fear and excitement as she waddled all over the place

➜ ugh IM SO SOFT RN, NO ONE TOUCHHHH MEEEE😡

➜ and when kohana was out with her with her aunty kiyoko and uncles daichi and asahi, sugawara was feeling a bit ,,, spicy that night that hey, why not create another one with you👉👈

➜ let's just say, while your daughter was eating caramel apples with her aunt & uncles, you were getting dic ked down by sugawara phew chile

➜ and after a few months, your son, shin was born & damn did sugawara love him

➜ unlike your daughter, your son is such a sweetie uGHHHH

➜ and loved his dad so much, is the calm and collected one while he had your hair and suga's eyes

➜ while the squad™ ; daichi, kiyoko & asahi would come to your house with every chance they get just to see your little ones and maybe even bring theirs as a playdate for shin & kohana

➜ ugh next gen typa thingz💅

➜ would play volleyball with them, but with a softer one that's a bit more kid-friendly

➜ being almost total opposites, shin and kohana would often bicker, kohana being the one to provock the fight and shin just straight up spitting facts, 6/10 of the time would win over his older sister

➜ periodt

➜ and if fights would get too much, sugawara would bONKK💥🔨 your children ( like those times where suga just fu cking bOnKs his teammates. )

➜ yeah that

➜ mans rarely gets mad and phew ,, if he ever does i just have nothin, NOTHIN to say😶

“ i HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS, WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME. ”

➜ he'll never be angry at them for too long though

➜ but mostly, he'll just be disappointed rather than mad

➜ and honestly that hurts more

➜ since sugawara is an elementary school teacher, he'd often tell stories about your guys' children with his students

➜ like THAT ONE TEACHER THAT JUST TALKS ABOUT THEIR LIVES AND FORGETS ABOUT CLASS

➜ UGH WE STANNNN

➜ it became an actual thing with his students that they would every now and then ask about them

➜ would have such a strong foundation built from trust, respect and just love with his children

➜ honestly you'd fallen all over again with him BECAUSE HE'S SO UGSHHSHSH

➜ HUSBAND MATERIAL

➜ SANAOL LIKE CAN'T RELATE LMAO

➜ baking !!

➜ this is one of suga's past times, and even before you guys were even married, y'all would have at-home dates and just bake

➜ and it just gradually became a thing with your children every time anyone just wants to bake something.

➜ and most of the time would end up messing up the kitchen and covered in flour

➜ 11/10 dad, may not be the most perfect dad but your kids could never ask for anyone else but him.

OIKAWA TOORU.

➜ it started off as a joke, he couldn't really remember when it all started but he would always say that you would be such a good mother whenever you would take care of him when he's injured himself or just scold him whenever he keeps over working himself

➜ but after a few years and oikawa would never have thought that he wanted to actually have a child or two with you, it started off when he would spend a few hours until pass midnight to watch cute baby videos

➜ like why was he there?? HE WAS JUST WATCHING BUZZFEED UNSOLVED A FEW MINUTES AGO LMAO WHAT

➜ and his eyes would linger onto your sleeping figure ontop of his body, face nuzzled as he could feel your nose tickle his torso.

➜ he couldn't help but play along with the thoughts of having a child with you ─ to start a family with you.

➜ you guys were already living together at argentina, and you've support him through and through with everything he has pursued in his life, and what else was stopping him from starting a family with you?

➜ yes, his schedule may be a bit busy but he had always given more than enough time to you, what hurt may it cause if he had another person to dedicate his attention as well? someone that's the perfect mixture of the love of his life and himself.

➜ and when oikawa has already set something on his mind ─ mans would always get what he wants

➜ if i were you, i'd give him anything he wants ngl

➜ just saying y'all😳✋

➜ it didn't take him a hot second to make you agree to it, and before he knew it he fell in love all over again on the bundle of joy he held on his hands

➜ would pepper you with kisses even if you were tired from giving birth, saying how proud he was of you and how beautiful the child you both created

➜ like duh, it was yours and tooru's child, your guys' baby will be a HEARTBREAKER WITH THOSE LOOKS😡

“ tooru !! ” you exclaimed as you saw your husband hold out a strawberry lollipop to your daughter while holding her with his other arm, as your daughter was ready to bite it ─ MANS REALLY SAID NO❌ RIGHTS✅😤 AND PULLED IT AWAY WHILE LAUGHING BEFORE PUTTING IT IN HIS MOUTH

➜ i'm so sorry i just ─

➜ while your daughter LOOKED SO OFFENDED WHEN SHE STARED SO HARD AT HIM LIKE

➜ THIS BITCH REALLY HAD IT COMING FOR HIM

➜ before your daughter just straight up cried right then and there while tooru's eyes widdened and tried apologizing to his daughter

“ aiko baby i'm so sorry ─  ” until your daughter slapped the lollipop from his mouth

➜ while oikawa just had that blank stare

➜ while you're trying not laugh so much because you KNOW his ego was shattered as she held her arms out for you, making grabby hands until you took her off from her father's hold

➜ oikawa : i hate it here😙😍💅

➜ aiko : it's what he deserves :)

➜ but when your daughter grew up, she ADORED HER FATHER, she would be the first to to the door whenever her father comes back from tournaments, your two younger sons, akiro and haruki would follower right after her chasing each other out

➜ oikawa still dresses her up even if she wasn't a seven year old anymore

➜ aiko is a daddy's girl and that's on periodt😡💅

➜ while aiko had tooru's playful and big dumb b energy, and your your hair and his eyes

➜ your oldest son, akiro, got your personality, and eyes but his father's hair

➜ and your youngest son, haruki, has both your eyes and hair and is a mix of yours and tooru's personality

➜ and it wasn't only aiko which held her father at such a good light that if she told him that ─ mans will be over the moon

➜ but also your two sons which found themselves loving and dedicating their love towards volleyball just like their father

➜ watching his games is a must !!

➜ his ego would not only be ASTRONOMICAL

➜ and just the overall overwhelming motivation had him serving 4 service aces in a row on periodttt

➜ your three kids would fight over who could scream the loudest in the stands for their father

➜ when he's away and your children would have those missing him hours™😔✋ oikawa would always try and contact you guys three times a day and everynight he'd be telling you guys how practice was and would also ask you guys how your days was.

➜ would teach his kids to FLIRT LMAO💀

➜ but will never fail teaching them that they should treat woman with RESPEKT ( and just overall everyone?? not just of their gender it's just because of idk??MANNERS ? )

➜ oikawa : *drinks his respect wamen juice.*

➜ ohoho but if his daughter ever starts having boy crushes MANS WOULD BE ALL POUTY

“ but loovveee ,, ” tooru drags out

“ our daughter is starting to date, what happened to marrying daddy one day? ”

“ tooru we're already married. ”

➜ you're tHIS👌 CLOSE TO DIVORCING HIS ASS

➜ you : i should have gone for the best friend instead

➜ IM JOKING YOU LOVE HIM A LOT

➜ beach volleyball !!

➜ after seeing how good beach volleyball taught hinata, giving him advantages in the indoor court, he wanted his child to as well

➜ or normal backyard volleyball will do

➜ just like with his teammates, oikawa is able to bring out the best in your children

➜ just a 11/10 dad, he may not always be with you guys because of volleyball but he'd always make time for you guys and would never neglect and forsake you guys

[loveijun]

Can we hear your thoughts on KnT Soulmate? English chapter 7 just got released yesterday.

omg hii 🧞‍♀️ ill probably talk a lot more about it later when i read the new chapter but these are some of my thoughts 💗 1 im so glad kurumi gets her own story because after the whole situation with her and sawako in high school, they had such a weird but delicate balance of friendship and i became curious abt what would happen with kurumi later on but the story moves past it and we have to forget about her sadly... 2 i just think the soulmate chapters are amazing and beautiful and I HAVE TO MENTION that it basically confirmed for me that ms karuho shiina did in fact do the questioning of sexuality type of undertone throughout the manga on purpose.. it didnt start off with the typical kurumi and eiji falling in love but with kurumi and sawako being together + kurumi in this umm head space where she's thinking of sawako from so many different perspectives (romantically 💖‼️, as a rival and a peer to learn from, a monumental figure in her life since sawako basically helped her grow as a person and guided her unknowingly to a much healthier mindset, and a close friend she actually felt comfortable with for the first time since elementary school) and coming to the conclusion they are soulmates regardless of anything else. it's also obviously kurumi's personal redemption story but not as some evil villain becoming good... she was never really evil but just a very misguided teenager who at the time made decisions with consequences. this is her chance to... almost like what happened to ayane when she finally let herself go (not a 1-time complete healing but the beginning of it: she took a step out her shell and stopped devaluing herself for deserving love) and redeemed herself in her own mind - is what im waiting for in this series for kurumi. she's confident and loves herself somewhat but is constantly quesitoning her motives, thinking she didnt deserve to be forgiven, and is full of doubt so she clashes constantly in her mind and ends up numbing her sense of urgency, gentleness, and care when dealing with herself. i really want her to cherish herself as fast as possible but she cant just overcome it on her own (omg that theme keeps coming back - you can't grow [to love yourself] in solitude) and it's lacking for her to just suddenly become better when a guy shows up and at the same time rush a discovery process like that so i really love the bit with sawako in the beginning. alsoo i cannot forget im so happy and proud that sawako matured from her intial earnest but unsettling awkwardness to a hmm not mellowed but a more transparent ease with communication and presenting herself while still retaining her honest character. i love love loveee the fact that shes also a lot more secure with kazehaya and when i saw them joking around with each other i had to pause for a moment bc in the beginning shes such a precious and selfless person and that's great and all but she didn't believe in herself at all.. like when the high school class pulled the dating prank on her the way she handled it is hard to watch and very telling of how she sees herself.. she underestimates gestures of love towards her as mere kindness and at the same time overestimates the effort she needs to put in to repay it while also setting a thick boundary and voluntarily putting herself on a level lower than others. but the way that she's now able to understand favors that ought to be repaid, the difference between that and a gift - defined a thing given willingly to someone without payment, helping others without hurting yourslef, being a healthy amount of selfish and etc ❤️ i cant get enough. she even set up a blind date for kurumi can you imagine how far we've come??? now for when eiji appears i was just observing in the beginnig but i love his personality so much it feels like he was gonna be a classic romance mc just rude and insufferable or a stuffy/overbearing kind of nice but his moments of vulnerability and unpredicatability are GENIUS bc kurumi has never met someone like this before (she gets so flustered and is so cute when shes around him sometimes

i feel like crying aww). oimg and i cant forget how interesting this is just becasue its a college setting and not highschool so its more (i hate reusing words 💢 but mature is the word and theres more oppurtunity for things and various situations i think. 'real' dates and staying over at each other's place... and i want to see them in those^ types of situations so badly but i dont think we'll see much 💔). also their dynamic is everything i love how unique their character is and shes (the author) definitely put a lot of effort into every single one of her characters but i did not expect her to give eiji that much depth (i know hes from one of her other works and i need to read it soon and i want to know what happened before he met her so bad 😭.....) ^like at all. i dont have much more to say but i hope kazehaya shows up and meets them all again bc im want their reactions, and i think kurumi is so adorable and eiji is the hottest guy of the series excluding sanada. the end 💗

[elysianslove]

i literally cannot be it’s actually been this long since ive given an update, but basically we started talking for a while and my best friend ended up texting him cus they wanted to meet him n whatever 💔and they found out that he apparently really liked me and that literally made me piss straight blood like aint no way you fr rn⁉️ i didnt do anything when they told me besides yk like scream and sob but like he started getting more comfortable with me in person and started sitting with me and whatever and like i impulsively… asked him out🙏literally i had to have been on crack cus what the hell n he was like “i actually was gonna do that but i didnt know if you were gonna be comfortable with me asking” like yo what. so he was like okay but i wanna ask you in person cus the dude likes my humiliation ig and uhm yeah so we’re dating and next sunday is our first month together and YEAH IDK AAAAA hes so whipped apparently like i cry. he did tell me his schedule got changed so he was no longer in the teaching assistant class but instead he was in study hall so sometimes he skips study hall and stays in my psych class and sits with me for the period. like my teacher was out like two weeks ago and he stayed w me and we watched wandavision together n he like drew on my palm and i. yo. cmon bro like i

i have very strict parents as well and hes well aware but does not. care😕💔like anytime i mention i feel bad we cant go out to places he just says if i want him to wait until im allowed to go out, he’ll willingly wait. and reassures me he doesnt mind not doing things like other couples around us. so he started making a list of all the dates he wants to take me on when im finally able to go out so that way he doesnt forget

maybe ppl are gonna yell at me for being so whipped for the bare minimum but ykw idc🙄he doesnt pressure me into doing things- like he prefers we go at my pace. my friend made a joke about if i annoy him for him to kiss me and he was like “id only do that if they were ready for it, i wouldnt want to make them uncomfortable but ill keep that in mind” and i wanted to cry bricks out of my eyes

-grey, absolutely whipped

grey what the fuck are u shitting my dick rn 😟 WHAT YHE FUCKENJENEKDKD WHAT YHE FUCJ listen listen i need to say mashallah to protect u from evil eye CAUSE ???2$2$&2 HELLO ??2?$2 THATS SO FKN SWEET !!!!!! and it’s ok that’s ur whipped for the bare minimum it’s hard to find shit like this these days !!!!!! im just. im honestly just SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU !!! you went from being too scared to talk to him TO DATING HIM IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU AHHWHBEJEJE

AHHHHHHH

IM SO !!!!!!! FKN HAPPY FOR U !!!!!!!!! PLS I LOVE Y SM AND IM SO PROUD AND I WISH U AND HIM THE ABSOLUT EBEST TRULY YOURE AMAZING ILY

[toukenramblings]

I'm feeling a bit evil... what would drive Shokudaikiri, Yagen, and Koryuu to tears? Be it angry or sad... some negative outcome, I suppose >:3c I feel like hurting some bois in this chilis tonight. I want the angst to Hurt, hehe. Thanks!

~~

OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHO LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Warnings: Sadness, angst, trauma(?) I did my besty. Delving into the nightmares headcanons I made for Yagen too. @rexcaliburechoes‘ essays on these guys are waaay better than i could ever come up with. Dedicated to rexy because I couldn’t have done this without em. I kept this kinda short because....my hEART HURTS IM SORRYYYY

here take some happy cute gifs before we dive into the angst.

Shokudaikiri MItsutada

Micchan being shaken to tears is rather easy. Look at his nightmares. Of the earthquake of his breaking of...of a lot. You two being together or not, Micchan tends to wake up in tears because of these nightmares. They hurt him so so bad.

It’s worse when you two have a close relationship, romantic or not. Micchan has nightmares about you. Of your death and that’s a given. But if you die, he thinks that he failed you. That he is supposed to be this cool sword, ingrained in the memories of people to not forget him. He worries that you will indeed forget him and take the memory of him to your grave

It’s the same with the Dategumi and the people around him he’s become close to. Nightmares of their deaths.

But to be honest I think the thing that makes Micchan cry the most (other than the nightmares) are earthquakes and the idea being useless - of failing.

Going back to the serious Micchan headcanons I made, Micchan cannot handle the idea of coming back from a fight and just...not being able to protect someone. He internalizes things a lot and it’s really not healthy. He brushes off concerns of others, claiming that he’s alright. If the Dategumi gets hurt during a night, of course he’s going to not take it all that well. It’s his fault. What if they fucking died?

It takes a lot for Micchan to cry, but sometimes the tears just come out? He hides them for so long that sometimes it’s just building and building and building until the dam bursts and he’s just found crying in the middle of the kitchen?

He tries to cry alone though, no one should see him like this. He won’t look cool if he cries, showing weakness to the people around him. They’re going to think lowly of him, disgusted at his weakness.

Yagen Toushirou

Yagen, like Micchan, internalizes his feelings a lot. He won’t admit that he’s crying or anything and it’s rare for him to even do that at all. It hangs in his heart, a weight - a stone to a sinking ship. Except the stone is like a fucking meteor that is plummeting him down faster into the depths and he’s drowning and he can’t breathe and one wrong step he’ll choke himself on the chains- Yagen does not cry.

When he does though, it’s...quiet. He is a protective sword, a close combat fighter. If anything happens to his brothers he would be devastated. If anything happened to Ichi-nii he would almost want to die. He’s calm, collected, and put together. Crying is a business he isn’t made for.

If you two are close and you’re hurt? Yagen will shed some tears for you for his brothers - then it’s back to normal Yagen. He has to shove them aside, they’re useless in the face of battle.

It’s rare for him to actually sob, it’s collected tears at the corner of his eyes. Tears he doesn’t know are coming, a foreign sensation. It begins soft, maybe there’s some heart-wrenching whimpers but most of the time it’s quiet; a hand over his mouth to prevent him from being heard. He cannot be heard. He cannot be found crying. That just isn’t him.

If anything if there is an instance where he is in fact brought to tears it centers around his brothers or you, when either one of you are injured - or worse, a brother broken. Again he will go on a walk to try and clear his head, to be brave in front of the rest of the citadel. He is stronger than this, one of the most mature of the tantou. Then it just...comes out.

The sobs are a little louder this time when he cries of a broken friend or of a broken brother, of how he failed to protect them - or how he could have protected you better. He beats himself up about this a lot.

Yagen’s tears are silent, creeping up on him, invisible. It doesn’t seem like he’s crying half of the time but you need to catch him and hold him during that time.

Koryuu Kagemitsu

Koryuu will admit that he has some abandonment issues and issues with himself in general. He was once considered a fake just because he was in the possession of a peasant family.His entire life he’s been passed from one person to the next, like Souza in a way. While Souza is much more melancholic about it, Koryuu portrays it in a way that seems alright?

If anything, Koryuu is just a lonely soul. He’s had many masters and none of them were....good? He wishes for a saniwa that is pure and honest.

So telling him a lie will honestly crack his trust in you. Not being up front with him will also cause him to not resent you but become distant.

If anything, Koryuu cries whenever someone else cries. He shares their pain, he cannot handle it if someone is hurting. He wants to make them happy. It’s almost Tsuru-like in a way but for Koryuu, he’s a bleeding heart. They shouldn’t feel such a thing.

Koryuu rarely cries. He doesn’t hide it like Yagen or Micchan above, but it’s more so along the lines of he can openly cry in front of others.

But what gets him is the fact that his journey to find his one true master, the master he can trust above all us might be...fruitless? All of his masters are poor, betrayed, demonized, or died horrible deaths. When this reality sets in, that he’s just only to be passed from one person to the next, no real home in sight - that scares him the most. Romantic relationship or not with Koryuu, he’s scared because he can’t find a place to belong to. That is what scares him the most.

It’s when this thought settles into him, that a home or a one true master does not exist because it can’t. Humans are flawed, one may think that they are just but the other party views them as demonic - does Koryuu begin to cry. He’s chasing after a dream that he knows isn’t real, he buries it under being all free-spirited, to try and breathe hope and life back into that goal of his. In the end though, he’ll never find it.

[drivingsideways]

Misaeng review

Ok, it's been almost a week, so I feel like I can get my thoughts (somewhat) in order. As usual, I'm late to the party, given that Misaeng aired 6 years ago, and is already considered a kdrama classic. Still: thoughts!

(under the cut)

I came to this drama with quite a lot of expectations, both because I'd seen it on a lot of rec lists, and also because I'd watched director Kim Won-seok's Signal and My Mister, which are justifiably as beloved as Misaeng. I'm happy to report that Misaeng mostly lived up to those expectations!

The writing & direction work together to make Misaeng a very immersive experience, which is good, considering the entire run time is over 20 hrs. The level of seemingly mundane detail of the operational aspects of running a trading firm that they delve into (and other dramas might have avoided for sake of pacing) seemed odd to me at first, but eventually result in a world building that's incredibly well fleshed out. The (formerly unlikely!) high stakes of a misplaced piece of paper or octopuses in a shipment of squid end up being parts of an emotionally wrenching narrative whole fairly seamlessly. Still, at 20+ hours, Misaeng also does get into the kind of pacing issues that most of the slice of life kdramas I've watched so far have. And it didn't need to! I think it had a wonderful ensemble of characters, and if they'd maybe given a little more time and space to characters other than Jang Geu-Rae (Im Si wan) and Oh Sang-sik (Lee Sung-min), the mid portions may not have felt quite so, well, stuck.

But more than the strong writing and direction, it was really the actors who delivered. They made what could have easily been a dull-ish office drama into a heart warming story about human connection and the joys and troubles of leading an "incomplete life". I'd never watched Lee Sung-min in anything before, and about half way through the series I was like, HOW IS HE MAKING A SHORT TEMPERED, ALCHOHOLIC MIDDLE MANAGER SO SEXY? Like, serious props, dude. Lee Sung-min is by turns annoying and brash and too shout-y and stubborn and funny and so incredibly vulnerable as a man trying his best to live by his principles in a world that thinks they are an impediment to "success", that you forget that he's playing a fictional character-- he's someone you know, he's someone you've seen in the mirror.

His performance as Oh Sang-sik is very ably matched by Im Si Wan's Jang Geu-Rae. This series would not have worked if these two actors didn't have the chemistry they do, and play off each other in every scene. I had watched Im Si Wan recently- in JTBC's "Run On", in which I liked his performance quite a lot, but I absolutely loved him as the naive and endearing Jang Geu-rae. Misaeng, is in part, a bildungsroman narrative centered around Jang Geu Rae. Im Si wan brought a kind of vulnerability to the role that might have felt cloying and emotionally manipulative in the hands of other actors, but Im Si-wan manages to do it with a light touch. I feel he's one of those actors that uses his whole body in a scene, not just relying on facial or verbal expression, and it's a joy to watch.

Each of the other actors in the ensemble also bring that dedication and talent to their roles, even if it's in a single scene. There are lots of one-off characters that we meet during the course of the series, and every single one of them leaves an impact.

But! I'm going to pick a fave from the supporting cast and that's Byun Yo-han, whom I'd last watched as the broody, troubled (and very sexy) swordsman Lee Bang-ji in Six Flying Dragons. I can't imagine a character more in opposition to that one than Han Seok-yul in Misaeng, but Byun Yo-han just knocks it out of the park as the scheming, cheerful and mostly inappropriate clown with a heart of gold; Han Seok-yul is the definition of Chaotic Good, and you're equal parts horrified by his antics- which include sexual harassment dont @ me -- and yet charmed by him. I wish they'd given him a few more scenes and a larger plotline to work with, but I also suspect that he might have just walked away with the entire series if they did that. (Am I plotting that series in my head as I write this? MAYBE.)

Alright, this is getting a bit too long, so I'm going to get to the bits that disappointed me. That's really one major thing: the gender politics. I don't know how different the show is from the web toon it's based on, so I can't tell whether they made significant changes to the basic plot and characters. As in- I have no idea if the webtoon was as male dominated in every way as the show is, so I'm not sure how much of the show's treatment of women as a class, and its female characters in particular, I should lay at the door of the original writer vs the screenwriter and director. I'm also lacking the Korean context in which this was written and made and aired, so you may take my criticism with a pinch of salt, if you please!

That the show features mainly male characters is perhaps unsurprising and realistic, since we know that the kind of corporate life it depicts is very male dominated, top to bottom. The show also portrays the very real and horrific overt and subtle misogyny that women face in the workplace and out of it; mainly in the character of Ahn Young-yi, played with steely determination and quiet suffering by the lovely Kang so-ra. There are only 3 other female characters that have any sort of real speaking role- Sun Ji Young (played by Shin Eun jung), a senior manager at the company, Jang Geu-rae's unnamed(!) mother (played by the amazing Sung Byoung-Sook) and Oh Sang-sik's unnamed (!) wife (played by Oh Yoon-Hong, who's a delight in every tiny scene she has). There are other women who appear but in very minor roles, and often in "comedy" moments that often rely on sexist tropes to start with.

Anyway, right there you can see one of the problems- 4 women characters that have any kind of real screen time, and only 2 of them are named. Aigoo! Screenwriter Jung Yoon-jung is a woman, and like, I don't like putting the burden on any one woman to y'know fix structural misogyny, but I can't also help feeling disappointed that she overlooked even this "small" thing among the larger things.

But that apart, the main issue for me was that while the show doesn't shy away from depicting egregious sexism in the form of sexual harrassment, verbal and physical and certainly emotional abuse, in a manner that's clear that we are meant to be horrified by it--it falls short of depicting how women deal and work with it. It just doesn't give enough space to women or their worldview.

It's very comfortable depicting victimhood, but doesn't put work into depicting the ways in which women survive by finding solidarity with other women. We have a scene or two where Ahn Young-yi who is this show's poster child for female victimhood interacts with the older women who offer sympathy and understanding, but no real strategy or support. And yes, we see men also being targeted by their seniors for the grossest verbal and physical abuse; and it's men who help Ahn Young-yi strategise on how to deal with her situation. Real life experience tells me that it's the women who do this work for other women. I have certainly been on both sides of this equation, for one, and so has every woman that I know in corporate life. And yes, one of the show's core philosophies is that those who endure, survive--but it is none the less extremely painful to watch Ahn Young yi "endure" the kind of abuse she does as a coping strategy and a survival strategy.

At the end of it, when she slowly manages to gain the support of her sexist team, it's shown as a victory-- though naturally imperfect, because this show takes its Realism very seriously (right until the end where it makes a tonal shift into quirky that I was a little ?? about)-- and y'know, sure, it is a victory. And I absolutely understand the choices she makes and why she does it-- I guess I just got annoyed by the fact that other antagonistic figures in the narrative get a more straightforward comeuppance for their egregious behavior, but Ahn Young-yi doesn't even get a goddamned apology from her abusers. Instead, we have a half humourous, half serious moment where she comments on how she's working at turning herself into "someone cute"- because she understands now that sometimes the right strategy is to "go with the flow". Be the water that slowly wears away at the rock. It's an interesting moment- the men she tells this to are taken aback by her bluntness, but also a little clueless about what she means. It's the kind of nuance that I would and do enjoy. Unfortunately, it also closely follows one of the show's most annoying scenes at the tail end of the series- where it tries to play off workplace sexism and misogyny as comedy- boys being boys-Reader, when I tell you that I had to WORK to unclench my jaw--!

I'm not saying we should have a single and obvious narrative of female emancipation. I'm not against realism in fiction, but god, sometimes, please do remember that when we look for escapism, we are actually imagining a better world. The first step toward liberation is allowing yourself to imagine it.

And the show does allow other characters its moments of unfettered fantasy- Im Si Wan parkour-ing all over the rooftops of Amman- and having a semi mystical + Indiana Jones moment in the deserts of Jordan--so why, I ask, are the women not given that gift?

*looks into the camera *

Tl;dr: I enjoyed it, it made me cry every episode, and I cared about all the characters, and if you haven't watched it yet, treat yourselves.

PS. Yes, Han Seok-yul is a disaster bi, sorry, I don't make the rules. Yes, hotties Oh Min Seok and Kang Ha-neul are canonically naked in a hot tub six feet apart because they are bros. Yes, I will be writing the fix it in which they fuck like angry bunnies. Yes, I am going to put my shipper cooties all over this gen slice of life show, deal with it.