#sometimes i feel it sometimes i don't.
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i'll let phie-san say it:
#the vids i've seen on tiktok picking at her immediately get a block...#bitter otaku sitting in their socks in their mom's basement feeling threatened/enraged by a hot successful black woman outnerding them-core#also this kind of criticism is so demoralising and damaging to people who are trying to learn another language#also. accents are NORMAL and not a bad thing#i don't think that the end goal of picking up a new language necessarily has to be sounding native#and i know sometimes the way japanese people react like SUGOIII? *W* when a foreigner says like one (1) word in japanese is joked about#but like... genuinely... i always love when someone clearly has made an effort and took the time to learn some of the language#anyway she can step on those haters <3#also like. it’s just some lines in a song people need to relax…#megan thee stallion#autoplay warning#japan#japanese#language#mamushi
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I think. I may have fluctuating/conditional empathy.
#2024. the year of learning things about myself.#on accident.#because of my tumblr mutuals posting about something#something i ALREADY KNEW ABOUT#but when i looked closer into it i went HEY. WAIT. THAT'S. NO. WHY IS THAT ME.#I am still fucking coming to terms with being arospec. why do i have to learn more things about myself#NO MORE THINGS PLEASE! I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS.#TOO MANY.#I'm also realizing that i generally do not feel affective/emotional empathy at all.#i definitely occasionally feel cognitive empathy#and i definitely feel compassionate empathy more frequently (still not all the time)#it's very all over the place#sometimes i feel it sometimes i don't.#which kind of. sucks??#because i want to have empathy very obviously. i want to care#and often i feel sympathy#but like. sometimes i just do not care#or i can't understand#and i don't want to be mean it's just i don't know... what to do i guess#i can logically understand WHY someone would feel a certain way USUALLY (sometimes i can't if i haven't experienced it myself)#but i don't feel the same way that they do really#this also goes for positive emotions#i often can see WHY someone would be happy about something#sometimes i can feel happy that someone else is happy#(usually when i have a part in that happiness.)#but most of the time i do not necessarily feel someone else's happiness abouy something#I'm so confused i didn't know that was a normal thing
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I gotta say, one of the greatest achievements of my 20s was that I learned (mostly) to differentiate between:
"I truly do not want to go" and
"I'm just feeling the Demand Avoidance, and I will like it once I get there."
#I have learned in my 20s#sometimes I DO just gotta make myself go places even if I don't feel like it#I'll like it once I get there.
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#lincoln rants#I'm sorry but I'm at the end of my rope#I got a LOT of these comments on my Buddie Platonic Sugar Baby AU#acting like I was some new writer to the fandom#babes I've been here since the dawn of 2020 where the fuck have YOU been?#I am happy to answer questions! I love responding to reader comments!#but it is beyond frustrating to answer a question that if they'd literally just clicked on my author name#they would have gotten the answer to themselves#yes I have written more yes I am still writing yes I've been here longer than you have#and I don't mean that in a pulling rank/seniority way I just mean that in a could you please just CLICK ON MY NAME???#INSTEAD OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS??? way#I'VE DONE MY TIME! FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! IN THE CIRCUS!#I'm sorry but sometimes I have to yell publicly a little#and I really do suspect this is people who are not on tumblr#so I am genuinely begging you#if you are on other social media platforms#PLEASE feel free to repeat what I have said#PLEASE I AM SO TIRED!!!
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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obligatory “cool characterization, still murder” like I’m not excusing him but it does make him incredibly interesting
(*girl gender neutral edition)
#bill cipher#the book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers#the book of bill#gravity falls#philip wittebane#<- him too (the grimwalker visions)#toh#the owl house#could bill NOT be feeling guilty and I’m reaching? maybe idk man#1k#2k#3k#i've gotten a few comments like 'ohh you/i can excuse them!' so i will clarify#i more mean that i don't want to act like they did nothing wrong because them BEING in the wrong is more interesting#like i don't want to woobify them you know????#it's far more exciting to NOT excuse them and analyze them through that lens for me personally#sometimes characters are complex AND they suck AND they're pathetic AND they're scary#they contain multitudes!
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CHAPTER TWO | The Scientific Method
FORGETTABLE-AU (page 73-77)
* His brother is annoying.
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#alahskwj FINALLY#okay so I HAD TO DO HALF OF THE COLORING AND SOME LINEART ON MY TABLET AND IT WAS SOO ANNOYING#BUT!!! I FINISHED!#akshwkdjwj#SAANSS#I missed making him talk with lowercase#It feels like a crime making him use proper capitalization sometimes😔😔😔😔#just wanna clarify#Flowey knows Sans but Sans doesn't know Flowey#Flowey used to reset a LOT when it came to him so#in Sans memory he only know Flowey from that one time he tried to steal their souls and from what Papyrus has told him#He doesn't really trust the guy but#He does trust Papyrus#Flowey is so funny#He is SO bad at not sounding suspicious LMAOO#dumb#I don't know how Sans is using sunglasses either🤩#he's trying to enjoy the sun#he spends a lot of time there lol#QKWGWKDJ#So glad the comic is back but I am SO BUSY rn#I think the next pages might come late too.....#forgettable-au#forgettable-au-comic#undertale au#undertale#sans#flowey#sans undertale#undertale comic
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I want to replay Indika very bad lately
#art#indika#? honestly this game is so obscure i don't believe that anyone knows about it#sometimes i feel like it's just my hallucination#whatever the hell is going on in indika's head i really feel that lately#now that I think about it Indika and Imri would have a lot to talk about#both have devils around that bother them all the time
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Life is like balancing act, much like walking on a tightrope. People who manage to maintain a good balance between things are most admirable to me. (x)
#btsgif#btsedit#cypernet#dailybts#userdimple#raplineuser#userpat#useremmeline#tuserandi#annietrack#usersky#heyginkgo#usermaggie#creatyoon#userpris#uservans#namjoonedit#kim namjoon#*#i need the moment in first gif in good quality to make it GGG as pat says!#sometimes i feel so many feels it gets overwhelming#it's difficult to say now but i have a feeling that this album has done something to me i just don't understand what yet#changed something#time will tell
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"I can't stand by and watch him die" "Then don't look" is too raw a line to come from bbc merlin
#merlin#bbc merlin#and it's from uther of all people#it's like s1e4 as well like damn they started strong#edit: feel the need to clarify that I do in fact enjoy the show (I am rewatching it over a decade after it ended for starters) and am not#only aware that it is very good sometimes but that's actually one of the things I like about it. I'm not saying this because I don't like#the show or think it's not capable of good lines. The joke is that this is the same show that had this SAME CHARACTER get with a troll (as#someone in the notes mentioned). basically it's a silly goofy show a lot of the time and I love it and I find it entertaining in its duality
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(From the body swap AU)
Hii! I'm very happy to see that my body swap comic was so well received, so here's a little something as a thanks for all the support <3
I'm excited to keep sharing my drawings, I hope you like what I make!
#Aand that's how Rulie ended up insisting on keeping Lege's bag lol#They're besties your honor. He wouldn't trust his entire inventory to anyone else xD#This time I had less pages to worry about so I hope this feels a bit less rushed. I'm still figuring this out tho#I also need to learn how to properly draw them bc this has been a struggle lmao#Hyrule's also stressed about the situation he's just been doing a bit of a better job at hiding it lul#Oh they don't know what's coming <3.#Anyways it feels so wrong to draw “Hyrule” with a scowl 😭#I like drawing his hair mirrored specially since it helps make it more different from Legends but it's so hard to draw it from the long side#This is a mess I have no idea what to call them#I confuse myself sometimes while making these lmao#lu legend#lu hyrule#linked universe#lu fanart#body swap au#Ig I'll tag it like that#offmozzart#I thought about kinda spreading all my ideas over time so as to no overdo it so quick ig (+not going crazy over drawing the same characters)#but rn I'm excited to draw them out so I need to take advantage of that
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❤️🖤🩷
Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!
#14 days with you#to be tagged later#Sometimes a team is just Sephiroth; some random flower girl; and a dragoon from FFXIV#Like....... Look me in my eyes and tell me that one of Jiyan's abilities isn't just stardiver /silly#Anyways!! Sharing dis on my main only because it's just a sketch and doesn't feel ''official'' enough for da 14DWY blog#If I come back to this piece + retouch/put more effort into it maybe I'll reupload it there instead#But ya!! Any inconsistencies in Scar's outfit is because I was too busy staring at Taoqi <3#There was also absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why I drew Ren as Scar specifically too—#—Other than the fact that he WOULD rock da onigiri strip (RIP T_T) /ij /silly#Plus I was going to draw [REDACTED] as (WUWA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!) Geshu but?? Babes I don't think the timeline works out??#I really saw the marks in the same spot and was like “oh!! they're the same person :3” LIKE GIRL NO?? This is what happens when you skip cs#Geshu is still my number 1 next to Taoqi though (in terms of design) <3 I have a type teehee#Mayhaps I will draw [REDACTED] after all...... (It's currently 3pm and I'm nowhere near my tablet)#Also also!! A treat for those who've read this far: Day 3.5 will be made public very soon!! It's pride month n I wanna celebrate—#—With everyone's fave demi/pansexual enby (who sometimes does a bit of stalking) (as a treat) (he's a yandere)#Violet's birthday is also June 10!! Early birthday gift!! Yippeee!!#Ok I'll shuddup now <3
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a little something i did a month or two ago and forgot to post
the little context I had of this was that y/n found this random sun plush and informed sun about their discovery. At first sun (and moon) were okay with it but then y/n gave the plush more attention than them so they got jealous lol
Y/N was a little too honest smh
Dont worry they got cuddles later
#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf sundrop#fnaf moon#fnaf moodrop#y/n#fan art#digital art#art#doodles#comic I guess??#this all happen when I drew a sun plush lol#they also find a moon plush and sometimes bring it to work but it usually stays in their home#I had a bit more but I don't feel like posting it
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After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me
#this is like the time I spraypainted a bunch of screw heads gold#because I was putting up gold spraypainted shelf brackets and wanted these black screws to not stand out#and to make it easier I took a piece of thin cardboard and cut a series of Xes in it#then pushed the screws in a little bit and positioned it over the gap between boards on the back deck#and used my hammer to just plonk those screws into place so I could spraypaint them!#i felt so clever I posted a video of it#(gold spraypaint makes me feel giddy and childlike)#and everyone was like#“GIRL NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT DON'T TRY TO *HAMMER* YOUR *SCREWS* INTO A DECK!”#it took like. so much work to try to explain to people why this was a problem I wanted to solve#much less the mechanism by which i solved it#my brain is just. HIGHLY WEIRD SOMETIMES
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I have always thought the way biphobia and transandrophobia work inside the queer community are rlly similar. I wish more bisexuals that r passionate abt bisexuality and combatting biphobia, also cared about transandrophobia!!
#like sometimes I still don't rlly feel like I fit in some bi communities bcuz I'm a trans man#I feel like having a healthy view of manhood and embracing all your trans siblings is super beneficial to bisexuals#transandrophobia#bisexual#☽☾
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