#sometimes i dont want to be the funny friend
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by popular demand and since i hit 1k! here’s a part 2 💞 find part one here! art by @ _3aem on twt!!
bestfriend!satoru who always takes you on late night drives if you’re feeling upset. he’ll buy you something sweet and when he drops you back home he’ll always leave you with a little kiss. he doesn’t want his favourite girl being sad.
bestfriend!satoru who absolutely adores the way you smell. everytime he’s near you in class he places his hands out for some of your hand cream and he sits there sniffing his hands afterwards.
bestfriend!satoru who will always suggest a horror movie when it’s movie night with your friends. he knows it’s only a matter of time before you’re freaking out and you’ll climb into his lap. ‘sshhh you’re okay baby i’ve got you’ and while you’re distracted his hands will find their way under your top and start stroking your back and tummy.
bestfriend!satoru who insists on massaging your back when you come round. ‘take your top off baby it’s just me’. he’s working on getting you to take off the bra too, all in good time.
bestfriend!satoru who is so used to you wearing long sleeved and baggy hoodies that the random times you wear something that clings to your figure he all but passes out. suddenly his hands are all over you and to everyone else in the room you probably look like a couple. (just how he intended)
bestfriend!satoru who insists kissing your best friend on the lips is normal. it’s cute. ‘come on baby another one. i’m your best friend’. is using tongue normal? he doesn’t care.
bestfriend!satoru who wears compression shirts around you all the time because he overheard you talking about how much you like guys with big biceps. he doesn’t want to sound big headed but he’s caught you staring a few times now.
bestfriend!satoru who goes through your underwear drawer when you’re not present. he wanted to know your cup size but the pink and the lace got him distracted.
bestfriend!satoru who really is such a perv when it comes to you. he can’t help it you’re like a drug. sometimes he knocks his pen off the table because he knows your sweet self will quicky bend over to retrieve it for him. he’s left with the adorable sight of your panty clad ass, white ones today just how he likes. ‘thank you baby.’ ‘you’re welcome toru.’ god you’re just so cute.
bestfriend!satoru who helps you dye your hair. he doesn’t care that he’s leaving with splotches of black on his arms and hands. it’s worth it when you give him those big hugs with your arms wrapped around his neck.
bestfriend!satoru who is in love with your handwriting. ‘course a pretty girl has pretty handwriting’ it’s all cursive and slanted, he even makes jokes about you writing something for him to get tatted.
bestfriend!satoru who knows you love to cuddle. he was never much of a cuddler himself but he would have to be sick to pass up on the chance to hold you. ‘no of course i dont mind pretty.’ your head lays on his chest and one of your thighs covers his stomach. he could die like this and he would die happy. (preferably he would die in between your thighs but)
bestfriend!satoru who gets upset when you’re laughing a bit too loud when talking to suguru. he knew for a fact suguru was not that fucking funny.
bestfriend!satoru who absolutely abuses pet names when it comes to you. His baby His pretty girl His dolly
bestfriend!satoru who’s always patting your bum. for what reason who knows.
part 3 !!
taglist : @haruhatake @moncher-ire @startwithrecords @ranatherealestsigma @chjinua @whozeurdaddy @sukuxna0 @purp1eha1o
#jjk#jjk x you#gojo satoru#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo fluff#gojo smut#satoru gojo#jjk headcanons#gojo headcanons#jjk satoru#satoru x you#satoru smut#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#satosugu#geto x reader#jjk drabbles#jjk x reader#tojbnuy#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu satoru#jjk fic rec#jujustsu kaisen x reader
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Update, turns out those two different scenes are part of these "leaks", but the criticism stays the same; the details are different in such an obvious way when comparing them -im not talking about drawing style, but the ways objects are depicted in different ways. For example, I thought the right one could be a real one or closer to it as the suitcase follows the description we got in 430 -on the sides there are white spaces in a particular geometrical shape, shrinking at the end of the sides, and has some other details under it. In the left one we get a clear rectangular white shape with nothing under it, getting bigger and taking the whole space. I still dont know how Izuku's face looks so wrong in both, or why in the same "chapter" we would get even less details in a scene just to add some more in the next page.
No matter what happens, this is still a sloppy job where we jump to different qualities from page to page, and never getting the actual level of skill the author has shown previously in the same volume.
There are some more backgrounds with more details too, but a big part of it doesnt have that at all making it feel weirder; the moments that look better are because the light work improves, but still there are scenes with worse shading than others in the middle of it -the ack of consistency cant be justified by not having enough time, as this probably was one of the chapters with most time to work on ever in BNHA.
Idk how much pressure there was, im not part of that world and ill never get what it feels like, but theres no way to consider this a great close to the series both as a story and as art -the bad anatomy doesnt make sense to me, as some stuff like Deku's finger going down weren't typical mistakes (even as a complete beginner you just had to go out of your way to depict holding a glass like that).
I don't see BNHA when I read whatever this is, I see repeating chapters 428-430 in order to quickly tell us Ochako's character isnt completed unless she tries to date Deku. Its repetitive, we go back to the past and reverse the characters (both Izuku and Ochako live in the past, even if they are trying to accomplish things everything they do turns out to be an act tinted by guilt and shame over the war according to these "leaks") without saying anything new besides what look like little character fun facts.
The lack of All Might and Wonder Duo makes this feel like it isnt BNHA, like it could never be that in the universe "431" suggested.
What if it's confirmed these aren't real pages and we've been upset over some fanart???
Like this looks like hori's old art style (or in some panels not at all like his art??) Like here's his re-draw of that one Deku scene compared to a scene in the epilogue
like??? He's had so much time to work on it,so why would it look like his old art style? Especially if we can expect to see THAT (on the right) in the same volume??? Something is fishy here.
like the only people confirming this is real/cannon are leakers,and even some of the Japanese fandom is confused/upset about this. I haven't seem any of the official announcements for this,and a TON of the pages are missing. Like they're meant to be 30+and there's only like what the same ten going around?
If these were leaks they wouldn't be so high quality and they would,y'know,look like hori's art style? I know I said some of it looked ai generated,and I still do think some panels do,but this really feels like a different manga.
Story and art wise this feels empty and disconnected from the series. Like it's the exact opposite of what happened in 430. Like Hori decided that he hated Katsuki and forgot all about literally everything to do with Izuku and Katsuki's relationship?
He said he didn't want a naruto ending,but he decided to give us one in the epilogue??? He said he wanted an ending like heroes rising,so he decided to contradict the whole damn movie for this epilogue????
Nothing makes sense about this. I have hope this isn't official,but honestly I'm starting to give up on Hori,and I don't like that. I always trusted him to write what he wanted,but what I've seen and read doesn't seem like Horikoshi's,it's not mha. It feels like a dudebro wrote this.
Like Izuku is so emotionless in this. It's empty. He's empty. And I'm supposed to believe this guy drew all of THIS and decided to go back on all of it with a few pages????
this is just SOME of the recent stuff. So why the sudden change?
I really don't think this epilogue is going to be official,I HOPE it isn't,but I haven't much of a reason to think Hori wrote/drew this horse shit. Besides leakers saying so. And I don't really trust them very much,so I don't really have any reasons to think this is cannon.
But only time will tell.
#grrr talking#bnha spoilers#ngl my crack conspiracy is this being a punishment to leakers for leaking the chapters so they could learn to respect the release dates lol#like- it would be so funny- imagine they just made another ending just to fuck with ppl and taking away everything ppl could love the serie#for#like- no dad might no dadzawa no teaching moment no fight scene no villains (to empathize with) no villains (to fight/catch) heroes have no#no future wonder duo doesnt exist deku prefers to be a teacher and sometimes be a PH taking himself into account means he has to talk to oc#ochako while blushing but they dap and dont confess so no actual 100% canon izuocha no kamijirou no momojirou no endeavor (some ppl love hi#him okay?) hawks looks ugly af no hisashi midoriya no plus ultra no with your friends you can do anything no I want to be a hero and help t#to change things no breathtaking artwork no scene that makes you emotionally invested#who is this for? maybe for the ones that wanted some gag scenes?
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found an old ekurei comic rotting in my files, decided to finish it. upon my rewatch of mp100 i kept noticing how many times dimple was referred to as a pet- but he's not ! ! ! he's a friend :)
#not too happy w the writing but whatevs#sorry matsuo likers if hes ooc i used him as plot device#ekurei#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#dimple mp100#comic#op art#ok continuing my thoughts here bc i dont want a whole essay up there#ik reigen calls him a pet as well but its more joking imo and also#this comic is after s3 when they r sort of friends#in my ekurei timeline tho they aint fusing yet. just pals#maybe have fused a few times but nothin srs yet#for those who dont follow me that will not make any sense lol#but even mob calls him a pet sometimes! or dehumanizes him. like. mob. you are the ghost seer. you should know better#now i could be misremembering that but still#everybody treats him like a mosquito or something which is funny but hes a person#he just looks different :(#long post
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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this line always shocked me like i always forget peeta's popular because the only friend of his who's ever so much as named is delly. and they were really just friends when they were little kids.
#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#haymitch abernathy#the hunger games#hunger games#thg#and dellys initially mentioned and katniss has no clue she and peeta are even friends like shes just a girl katniss knows of#i mean peeta mentions his family and sometimes im like ohhhh yeah i forgot he had a family at one point#like peeta's social life is so irrelevant and thats funny to me because gale gets coworkers that get named#thom is even an almost memorable character. and with peeta its just like yeah he has people hanging out nearby him i guess#and like tbh if peeta wanted katniss to give a shit about the peopel who are important to him he shouldve tried not being a blonde man#anyway this is MOSTLY just to show off all their designs in one place#this is also older but i fixed it up#oh god its 9pm thats my bedtime i gotta go to sleeeepy im secretly 70 years old dont tell anyone#two drawings in one day just for you because these drawings were already completed im just editing and posting them . love and light
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hello mooties and sayangs, qeena's here <!
how do you spend your free time? i spend my free time watching movies and writing (mostly doing chores because actually, i don't have a free time) but yah, if i do, i love to watch movies or write or listen to music + cleaning my room!
what are you hobbies and how did you get into them? i don't have a specific hobbies as i simply just enjoy doing everything. everything fun are my hobbies! oh and singing!
what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? i don't read too many books but i've accidentally read one which just coincidentally happened to be the most traumatizing shit i've ever read my whole life. the title is 100% perfect match if im not mistaken by someone i dont remember his name (too lazy to search) this book is very traumatising as it contains lots and lots of gore themes, violence, malicious acts and etc. i'm, a curious human, just happened to come across someone reviewing this book on ig reels and stupidly decide to read it. as for a movie, idk, maybe mona lisa smile? i love julia roberts!
what kind of music do you enjoy? again... i don't have specific genres of music that i enjoy so i just love what i love. i love centimillimental which is a japanese rock band and recently i have started listening to plave which is a kpop band and i've always love donawhale, hanbee, poison girl friend, rocco and after thoughts which i'm sure all these bands/singers have different genres ijbol!
who is your favourite character (atm or all time) and why? ok here me out... weasley twins... girl bye— i've always love their character since i first watch harry potter which was in 2013 (i was seven). their characters are so amusing to watch but throughout the year, as i grew older, i happened to like george a bit more. don't ask me how. it just happened. i love his character and he's so funny.
as for my favourite character atm is spike spiegel AND drumrolls...! isagi yoichi, slursagi, isagoat! okay, first of all, i love spike because he values his own ways, even though sometimes (everytime) he'd get into trouble for it and that he's nonchalant, and contentious even though as a mc. i simply love the depth of his character! well, let's just say im in love with everything about a certain hot bounty hunter whom stuck on his troubled past... and my man, my majestic, egotistical, glorious, genius killer king, isagi yoichi purrrr. i love everything about him, his deep blue eyes, his hair, his nose, his lips, his ears, his feet, his teeth, his personality, his ego, his best friend, his coach, his rival, his kaiser, everything! he's my ride or die, the bonnie to my clyde periodt! nobody likes isagi as much as i do. nobody is a number 1 isagi glazer except for me!
that's all, thanks for the tag luvie! 🩷
(no pressure) tags: @reapkusho, @hanaeriin, @skullvgirl, @to6ge @choccorin and everyone who wants to join!
tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ
hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:
alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!
• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?
i will start first!
my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!
some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!
a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.
i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!
my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.
tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ
@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades
@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii
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Literally pulled the "he's just built different" card
#minazuki i dont think you realize how untrue that statement is. even ignoring the fact sho is like. physically incapable of being fully alo#ne simply bc YOU exist. he also does very much want and need friends its like. the main reason hes pissed off at everything#its ok minazuki i understand that you are not a mind reader even if u litetally live in his brain. its ok we all make mistakes sometimes#minazuki. minazuki. u r so funny to me sometimes#sho minazuki#yu narukami#persona#persona 4#persona 4 arena#persona 4 arena ultimax#p4#p4a#p4au#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline
marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise
#fave#snap chats#'professor x' what are you a cop. moving on#vjeLKVJEALKV thank you much my friend one can only dream .....#you know whats so funny tho this just reminds me how like. My Number One Cheerleader was my highschool english teacher#she also ran the comic club in case thats relevant. because i was a part of that club OBVIOUSLY#i used to want to be a comic book artist but now i dont but anyway as a part of this club we'd have to draw comics sometimes#and alllll the time my teach would be so happy to get my stuff and she'd always be like#'[Snap] please promise me you'll never give up comics i want to read a comic from you one day' and stuff like that#i think id throw up laughing if i got to email her one day like 'omg hey teach 1.) im not a moody teenager anymore#2.) i got to work for marvel check it out <3' and i have to send her old man yaoi JLVKEJLKAEVJE#FUNNIEST TIMELINE IN THE WORLD I'D ACTUALLY DIE LIKE PLEAAAASSEE THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT IN LIFE#on the realest note tho i didnt appreciate her enthusiasm enough. i wish i could tell her thank you someday#i think of her a lot whenever im in the dumps about my work she really is one of my biggest motivators#like i guess i COULD just shoot an email. maybe if i actually do something cool with comics or something#i dont even know if she remembers me so it'd just be bizarre wouldnt it#ANYWAYS. sappy story time's over theres a matcha crepe cake with my name on it BYYYYYEEEEE
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in my dream last night they released a bill cipher themed soda called Decipher and I tried to go get some but insane wacky nonsense kept interrupting me before I could. I mean the nonsense had to do with the plot of the rest of the dream but it just kept showing up at the exact moment that I was about to get my soda. Ive just remembered the plot of the rest of the dream was that all of the straw hat piratds were there at tbis theme park we were in and some other group of pirates were trying to bully nico robin. the other pirate group was goth btw. their captain almost died from getting splashed with acid (by nico robin) (it was justified). But I didnt see that happen bc really I was mostly focused on getting my dumb soda.
#dream journal#yeah oh my god it was like. a one piece pre timeskip filler episode was happening at the same time as the rest of my dream. wild#and I was a part of the straw hat crew??? or friends with them or something???? i kept getting lost th#oh my god was i zoro. was i fucking zoro. i dont remember seeing zoro was i zoro and i didnt realize it??? help#zoro wants that stupid bill cipher soda . god damn it i remember wondering if it was alcoholic i think i was zoro and didnt even register#im lsoing it thats so funny. usually when im a character in my dreams i like. Know It. but being zoro didnt feel any different I guess 😂😂#god no there were definitely parts where i was me or i tjought i was me. and my irl friends wer ethere also.#i guess it was one of those dumb fading in and out things that happens in dreams sometimes#it did kinda feel like i was having two dreams at once#still i dont think i ever registered that anything was different when i was zoro so thats really fucking funny#and there was this whole 3rd plot line with made up people i dont know irl or from fiction.#it was kind of like sky high but completely different and with less white people...gah i dont rlly rember
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goodnight
#wenzhou#tian ya ke#word of honor#word of honour#woh#tyk#wen kexing#zhou zishu#my art#i dont actually think about tyk that much but you would be surprised how many stupid screenshots i have saved in case i ever want to draw-#stupid fanart for it again#i've come to terms with the yaoi btw i've decided it's funny#i will reread it... sometime.. with the respect it ???????? deserves? does it deserve respect. i think it deserves a little at least surely#sorry friends i do not actually normally read yaoi LOL
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suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.
#chemi chats#there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter#im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it?#he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun.#a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink.#he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best#pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful#he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and#it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes.#oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now#but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine#conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off#subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking.#he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it..#hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting...#task: swept up#okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye#also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)'#funny fella. i love you.
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Heddwyn "Wyn" Caldera is a freshman from Diasomnia. He's well known in alchemical circles for multiple revolutionary breakthroughs in the world of potions, the first of which he discovered at eight years old. Though invited to NRC last year at age thirteen, he waited a year before accepting a position at the school.
here he is my baby boy......!!!! been tossing this kid around in my head a lot lately and wanted to make a profile card for him to show him off to the world. imagine me as a proud parent and ive pulled this out of my wallet.
based off the black cauldron. both the movie and like. the cauldron itself. naturally he is good at potions. since the cauldron is essentially a mcguffin wanted by everyone the idea is that he's extremely good at what he does but is also pretty vulnerable to being used. he's also very stone-faced bc he's...... made of stone............ get it.............
template is from here!
#twst oc#twisted wonderland#his fave food is veggies bc i think being a 14yo boy who eats Spinch and Enjoys It is funny#im still turnign over his unique magic in my head........ i think the thing i initially wanted for him im keeping for his eldest brother#he and deuce get along well (he is a cauldron) but tbh i dont think he has many other friends#i think theyre parters in pe and i think he tries to tutor deuce in potions and i think both these things go badly. u kno how it is.#if he put as much effort into his magic as he did his potions hed be a prodigy there too. unfortunately he likes Stir and Brew.#doted on in science club. rook praises the shit he works on and he gets so excited and happy and trey is just glad theyre getting along#tbh i dont think trey realizes at first baby is literally world-famous hes just like. theres a kid in this club. ill be nice.#has a good rship with crewel overall tho theres always an odd line for him to walk btwn 'this person is a revolutionary genius at potions'#and 'this kid is fourteen and the most awkward child i have ever taught' u kno.#he ta's in the third years class sometimes. as you do#looks up to malleus and dislikes lilia (too playful/unserious for his tastes) respects silver a lot but finds sebek Very Rude#(they are seat mates)#OK THATS A LOT OF THOUGHTS FOR TAGS and i wnana lie down. think abt my baby please. ok goodnight#wyn stuff#how do you art
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dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....
#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow...#every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭#like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀#the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date#but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo#i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them#to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad#i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends#but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd#which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar...#and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf#this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found#their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them#i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media#like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends#also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh..#not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute#ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole#im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee#.diaries
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I don't have any desire whatsoever to be in a relationship right now, so how come finding out the guy who I was half in love with for half of college just got married messed me up so much?????
#lilac rambles#is it probably because i never seem to attract the guys im actually super interested in? and that they always seem to go for the girls who#seem very sweet and awesome and who i would love to befriend but who are definitely nothing like me as far as looks go?#so there's even more confirmation that they never would have been attracted to me at all?#quite possibly#yeah.#it's probably that#idk. sometimes i get tired of being the funny friendly one#maybe i dont want you to have me just think of me as a friend#maybe i want you to think im pretty#is that such a crime?#lilac's silver springs chronicals
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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(little bit of silence at the beginning because it wouldnt let me upload otherwise RIP) quick plug-and-play this-mix-is-ass-session-terminated type shoujo-a cover but (said in a hushed voice filled with wonderment and awe) soyogi........................................
(ust by Taketonbo)
#I MIGHT look for a different project file or edit it to work better with soyogis voice and cevios.. cevioness#but actually i do like this song with him a lot.... he does better with the fast parts than i expected#but i really love his sort of chesty long notes....... hmmmm.....#also i started like silencing his breaths (NORMAL THING TO SAY WHEN USING VOCAL SYNTHS) i started silencing his breaths in the volume#parameters for like the first half a verse but then i realized im plugging and playing this shit first actually so i gave up and just like.#loosely noisegated them. but man. i do wish cevio had better breath controls#the current situation is um. the voice breathes at every empty space. every single one. no matter how small#the only in engine solution from what i can tell is just manually turning down the volume for any pause where you dont want a breath#which is why every plug and play cover i post for a cevio/voisona voice sounds like they just ran into the studio LOL#(yeah maybe i only figured out what noise gates are like last week..... shhh.... shhhhhhhh)#because i did use that noise gate its not AS BAD but he does still sound a little like hes hyperventilating#which sometimes. especially for a song like this. might be what you want. but you dont really want the breaths on the glottal stops LOL#which is the biggest issue. i do hope someday they figure out a better way to do this. other engines dont breath until u tell them to#i dont mind the opposite situation but there is currently from what i know no way of making them hold their breath LOL#id love like. a phoneme that just cuts out all sound or something. a true 'sil' for cevio#theres xx which like has no phonemes. and an apostrophe does like devoicing shit to vowels i think? but they still like#gasp and wheeze over everything its so funny like soyogi ia tsudumi my friends....... ur breath control....#although can i judge? i cant really sing without getting a headache because i run out of breath too fast LOL
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