#sometimes i can’t tell if they’re just dumb or they just really suck at their jobs

[faramirsonofgondor]

I’m still having trouble processing the fact that Roy suggested they tie everyone’s dicks together and Ted and Beard were just like “hmmm…. sounds interesting. why don’t we invite some of our fans to watch?” LIKE WHAT???? THATS LITERALLY SO INSANE.

Like I understand it’s supposed to be played off for laughs/comedy but also???? The fact that all three of them either didn’t consider the fact that someone would inevitably get injured or they just didn’t care???

Also, you mean to tell me Jamie’s pee pee got hurt and he just walked it off??? Like it was nothing? And then he kept playing??? Like what.. I don’t even like getting out of bed if I stub my toe how is this man playing football with rope burn on his wee wee.

AND YOU MEAN TO TELL ME REBECCA WAS OKAY WITH ALL OF THIS????

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hate That I Love You

adam x insecure!tsundere(ithink) GNreader

Summary: You’ve been Lutes friend for a long while, and occasionally you ran into Adam; after finding out about the extermination thanks to him, you become a three party group. Except you can’t accept liking Adam, him being obnoxious and egotistical, you pretend you hate him. That blows up in your face.

Warnings: Suggestive, swearing, angst ish, hurt/comfort i think, insecurities around strength (mental and/or physical), implied but never confirmed virgin reader, readers looks get insulted nothing intense nor specific, descriptive panic attack/fainting, reader throws an object at adam’s head, NO YN, GN, No alluding to or mention of bodytype/hairtype/skin colour. oh possibly OOC adam idk, not proofread so sorry luvs, I think that’s it if not let me know! enjoy :3

Word count: 2K

Your index finger sat atop the straw sitting in your drink, moving it around the glass as you mindlessly listened as Adam ranted to you and Lute, mostly Lute, about Charlie Morningstar. You weren’t an exorcist- no, you actually didn’t know about the exterminations at all…up until recently. Thanks to one of Adam’s childish outbursts, you had a long night with Lute explaining the whole situation to you. Now you were sworn to secrecy, and conversations of the madness that the extermination were and everything they came with, AKA Charlie.

Adam wasn’t ever your buddy, he was just someone who shamelessly attached himself to Lute's hip; but you put up with it because of your good friendship with Lute. Now, he’s somehow weaselled his way into believing you were part of this weird “team” purely based off of association.

“I mean who does this long horned, pointy teeth, pussy mucher think she is?!” Adam screamed slamming his hands against the table, you rolled your eyes at him and his stupid antics. “You’re one to talk,” You replied, his eyes snapping toward you. “You’ve got both horns and teeth. Why don’t you take that funky band mask off anyways?”

Scoffing he rolled his neck side to side. “Because this is my job, my persona, how’re people gonna recognize me without it!? Duh, dumb bitch.” Muttering the insult quickly, he leaned his cheek on his palm and went back to sucking his drink.

“With all due respect sir, this is really bad news, we can’t let Charlie persuade Sera.” Lute piped up, her mask discarded showing the genuine emotion on her face. Sometimes you couldn’t tell if he was a friend, someone she was in love with, an annoying brother-like figure, or just her lazy ass boss. Maybe all of the above.

Which is probably one of the reasons you kept your tiny little crush on Adam to yourself. He was cruel to you anyways, always comparing you to someone faster, funnier, stronger, hotter at least that’s what you told yourself. Instead you chose to be more of a bitch back, acting as disgusted and disinterested as you could, especially when Lute was around as she could sniff out a lie like some psychic canine.

“Yeah, duh Lute i fucking know that. You think I've been jerking off this whole time! No, eyes, ears focused, I haven't cum in days.” He whined, throwing his head back. Lute only scoffed glancing over at you slumped back in your seat barely sipping your drink, eyes casted downward. “You don’t have to be here for this kind of talk,” Lute started saying, her hand inching across the table to yours, but she was stopped by Adam once more leaning forward, gloved palms slapping against the table.

“The fuck are you saying Lute!? We get another fucker in this circle and you wanna cast her out. Un-fucking-believeable. It’s like you want Charlie to win.” Throwing a napkin at Adam, Lute slid her hand away from you. “They’re not even an exorcist Adam, you’re the fuck head who got them in on exterminations!”

“No i didn’t, they walked in on a private conversation.” Eyebrows knitted together you lurched forward, anger fueling you. “Oh piss off Adam, how many times are we gonna go over this stupid situation! I’m not your fucking friend, i’m not ‘in’ on it, i’m here for Lute and you won’t fucking leave!”

Adam had a bored expression on his face while you ranted, unfazed by anything you’d said. Lute however bit her lip clasping her hands together. In a fight between her boss slash friend, and her friend, she didn’t know what to do. “You always have your nose up in Lute's business, it’s so annoying. Lute’s my man, okay she works for me! Guess who comes first in this business chica? Not you.” Adam mocked sticking his tongue out at you.

Standing you picked up your cup whipping it at Adam’s head, he dodge it easily, but your emotionally fueled violence made you quickly regretful as both Adam’s and Lutes eyes looked at you questioningly. You’d never really lost your shit before, and this wasn’t the worst Adam has said, so they were a little confused at your outburst, yourself included.

“Listen, Adam, I’m-“ Before you could finish Adam keeled over, laughing maniacally as you watched. After a few short laughter filled moments, Adam straightened, elbows on the table, hands hammocking his chin as he smiled up at you.

“Got some bite in you for sure huh babe, ha! I’m not surprised, honestly when i saw you i was like ‘this bitch has a face made for hell’, you probably got up here cause you were unfuckable so, like, virgin. Oh! Oh! That makes so much fucking sense dude! Ha! Bummer, I could smell the weak loser on ya, didn’t I tell ya danger tits?” Adam questioned head turned toward Lute after his animated, and very condescending speech.

Lute only looked down, not responding. Meanwhile you were horrified, you’d always felt a little less than Lute, after all she carried out holy duties, ones that you hadn’t fully known up until recently, so hearing Adam say the same things you thought of yourself, shattered you. Your face felt hot as tears gathered on the waterline of your eyes. You didn’t belong here, you said it for the longest time everyone here was mindless optimist zombies, Lute was your only lifeline, and for a few months you suppose-Adam.

You never hated him, but it’s clear he’s only fond of Lute. You’re the intruder, you’re the odd one. Clenching your fists you didn’t even bother with a come back, you slid out from your table booking it to the door. Tears unwillingly slid down your cheeks, your chest heaving as your throat closed silencing whatever weep dared to exit your throat.

You could hear Lute calling after you but you genuinely didn’t want to be followed by her, you were embarrassed; the last thing you wanted was the strong exorcist coming to witness you crumble. Throwing the door to the building open your wings sprung out on reflex, and after a few quick steps you took off. You couldn’t quite see, or breathe for that matter. Your mind lagged behind you, replaying the moments in your head that matched up to Adam’s insults.

You blinked rapidly as you attempted to focus on the clouds beneath you and breeze around you, but you couldn’t. You choked once more, your stomach convulsing inward causing you to gasp, a sob violently escaping you as you rocketed toward whatever surface you could find. Suddenly you hit something solid, stunning your flight and causing you to spin down, plummeting. As you fell, the breeze stabbed you as you cut into it, your wings sagging and loosely flailing above you, it felt so calm and freeing you didn’t feel the will to stop.

By the grace of god, however, you were caught and roughly smacked against the chest of someone, their arms clutching you tightly. You barely heard a ‘gotcha’ before your vision tunnelled, stomach flipped and you lost consciousness.

——

Waking slowly, your eyes stung the moment they opened, nearly watering at the blinding white that invaded them. Willing yourself to rise, you lazily scanned the room you laid in. A living room, coloured with yellows, creams and whites, it was, in all honesty, way too much. A large portrait of a man with a woman, meticulously scrapped out, hung above the fireplace. You’d never seen this man ever before, and the woman was too scratched out to get any idea on who it was. Suppose these people never existed as it was a painting, but there was something about the man that captivated you so deeply.

“Look who finally rose, sleeping bitchy.” You immediately felt sick, turning your head unsurprised to see Adam standing there smugly. You frowned deeply, it felt nearly impossible to twist your mouth in such a way, but there was no hiding your distaste in seeing the angel. “Why am I here, Adam.” You say scaldingly, eyes closed attempting to shield yourself from whatever foul look took over his face. “Well after your little shit show, a little over dramatic by the way, Lute left to find you, and I went for a fly. Then suddenly minding my own business I see you tryna play asteroid! Then when I caught you, your dumbass went out.”

Sighing loudly you pulled your hand down your face. “Please, admit Lute put you up to it.” Slamming a glass of water down on the table along with a platter of fruit, including oranges, pomegranates and mangos, Adam grunted moving his hand to sit on his hips. “The fuck she did, she’s not getting the praise for this one.” You looked up at him and then down at the fruit and drink on the side table just to your right, you nodded at it. “What’s this?”

You barely whispered out. Blowing air out threw his lips effectively raspberryingring the air, he shrugged. “Stuff for you, duh, you’re like sick or something right?” You nearly smiled at that, you’d never had Adam have that reaction. Quite the array of fruit as well, carefully you picked up a few pieces of orange, as well as mango that had a toothpick sticking up from them you munched down. You hummed, watching like a hawk as Adam walked across from you and sat on the other couch.

“How long was i out?” You questioned after swallowing, gulping down some water feeling the soothing sensation on your raw throat. “Maybe thirty minutes, not long. I texted Lute, I told her you were with me, safe.” That made you pause, you gazed up at him from the bowl of pomegranates you started digging into. “What? Why didn’t she come?” Adam huffed, throwing his hands behind his head and leaned back. “Because I told her not to.” Your mouth fell open eyes wide.

“Why thee holy fuck, would you tell her not to come?” Sitting up straighter you swung your legs over the side, sitting properly instead of lounging. Adam wouldn’t meet your gaze drifting off to the left and right. “Fucking… fuck!” He exclaimed almost in what sounded like exhaustion. Watching him closely, you waited as he seemed to have an inner debate with himself. Then swiftly he gripped his face and ripped off his mask.

The face you were met with was like a punch in the gut, yeah he could be compared to men you’ve seen in your lifetime probably at a gas station or cheap bar, but it was Adam. The man you’ve been trying so hard to hate, getting into cussing battles, throwing insults at each other that rolled off the back, occasionally praising each other's insults, forcing yourself to loathe him when you both kinda knew it wasn’t and now it was real. You got to look in his gold eyes, the dark thick lashes accentuating the uniqueness of his eye colour, the chin hair that crawled just under his chin -which you never expected him to have-, his tousled brown hair, thick eyebrows one eyebrow pierced - also a shock to you-.

He looked like the asshole he was, and it made you fucking sick. Trying so hard to hate him had come to this? Him unmasking himself after saving you? Cruel, you wanted to hate him, get over him not know that all he said about him being the hottest, the dickmaster, pussypounder-whatever, was probably true, that he’s hot. You were embarrassed to feel the nasty hum of jealousy claw at you when you could see the woman in the painting in your peripheral, that was obviously him, with some woman. He was wanted, and taken before.

Flicking his tongue over his lips you caught a glimpse of a tongue piercing because of course the pretty boy would get whatever he wanted without worrying about rules. He shuffled nervously biting his lip as you eyed him shamelessly, which to him was judgemental, his nerves suddenly making him feel sweaty. “Why?” You ask breathily, you were too enchanted to care how he perceived that however. His eyes properly met yours, your legs crossed subconsciously at the zap you felt just by a look.

“Youre fucking dumb you know that? You think I hang with Lute when you’re around because Lute’s there?!” Adam stood after the exclamation, his eyes shooting around the room, hands flying to his hair. “I can’t fucking do this a third time! Fuck!” Tossing a vase across the room you watched unfazed by the sudden explosion, after all this was your thing too.

“I only go round Lute like that because you’re there dumbass, i tried easing up on you; just like Lute said! But you, oh noooo little bitch, just had to be so fucking bratty.” Standing over you sneering, you made no attempts to move, not genuinely scared of his anger but instead, perhaps, a little aroused. You in a way understood where his frustrations came from anyway, you in a sense felt the same way. Might be why you lost it earlier, the yearning had gotten too real, and he seemed so focused on Charlie.

“I am so disgustingly attracted to you, not even in a sex way! And I know how to deal with that a lot better.” Swinging his hand out sassily, he smirked to himself. Plopping next to you he rested his cheek on his hand, elbows rested on his legs. Plucking an orange from the table you watched him eat it, juice moistening his lips. “You think i’d peel fruit, save, house and give water to some broad I genuinely hated? No, stupid.”

Laughing dryly, you looked up away from Adam’s intense gaze. You smiled, eyes falling from the ceiling to your lap. “God i fucking hate you,” Adam’s face looked horrified, opening his mouth to speak, you stopped him grabbing his cheeks and pulling into a searing hot kiss. Your lips crashed against each others’ lazily but passionately, opened mouthed and slightly sloppy. It was slow however, a kiss that wasn’t just a kiss, neither of you wanted to haste past such a moment, such emotion. Adam’s arms wrapped around your hips nudging you forward, understanding the message you moved in closer, your body’s pressing against each other as much as you could from the seated position on the couch.

You dug your fingers into his hair, brainlessly playing with different strands as your tongues slid along one another’s without care, tasting the orange he just ate presently on his lips and to tongue. It felt heavenly being up against him, Adam smelt so good, he was so warm and you could feel how badly he wanted this. His body jittered, his hands gripping you like you’d disappear if he loosened. Pulling away and looking at Adam, he made no effort to move eyes still closed like trying to etched this memory in his mind. You hummed lovingly, brushing hair away from his forehead. “You’re a dumb bitch.” He whispered raspily, opening his eyes, although not by much as they lidded with lust.

You smirked at him brushing your thumb against his bottom lip. “I know. You too.”

[siriusblackloml]

Day 7 - Tom Riddle (Kinktober 2023)

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1700+

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: swearing, smacking, derogatory terms, oral sex, TOM BEING VERY, VERY TOXIC. LIKE MAD TOXIC BRUH. MDNI (18+)

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist┊Day 8

Never in a million years would you ever intentionally try to do something that would piss off your boyfriend. That is the very last thing you would want to do. Therefore, it should be understood right off the bat that you never, ever meant to upset Tom today. Simply put, you made a small mistake.

Sure, a part of you knew that you were breaking the rules, but it was only meant to be brief. The contract that Tom had you followed in order to keep a clean, pristine relationship between the two of you included many…rules. These rules varied among different topics and areas of intimacy. However, one of the biggest rules that Tom insisted that you followed at all times was that you could never be seen with boys by yourself. It didn’t matter if they were your friend for a few days or even years; he was your boyfriend, therefore he was much more important.

Tom knew that he couldn’t completely separate you from boys at this school, there were literally everywhere you went. However, he figured it looked better if you were only around boys other than himself if you were in a large group with other girls. He has always been such a firm believer that if you were to be seen hanging around boys by yourself that it looks bad on your relationship. It would appear to the remaining students of Hogwarts that you had a lingering eye. Or, in his own words, it would make you look like a whore.

You didn’t want that, of course. But this simple little mistake you made today was never meant to blow up into something so big. You were innocently studying at the library, or at least had been for some time before you realized you were growing hungry. As you were just about to exit the library, a classmate stopped you in the middle of your walk. A boy, whose name you weren’t quite sure you could place, asked you, “Hey, Y/N! Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you, but do you remember how many scrolls long this paper has to be? I can’t remember for the life of me.”

In an instant you stop in your tracks at the question. Turning your head towards the voice, you share a soft smile and respond in a cheerful voice, “Yeah! It’s supposed to be three scrolls long. Good luck with that.”

The boy says, “Thanks, you too! I really can’t stand these papers. They’re such a pain in the ass sometimes.”

This should have been your cue to leave. Then again, you’d been at the library for what felt like hours now. You deserved a quick interaction, and how likely would it be that Tom would be coming in here anytime soon anyway? You take a step towards your classmate and chime in agreement, “Yeah, I totally agree. I have so much trouble trying to get to three scrolls, and I know it’s going to be even worse later in the year when we start getting assigned five scrolls minimum.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine though. You always do so well on assignments.” He tells you.

In a matter of seconds, your cheeks are tinted pink from the compliment. You appreciate the boost of confidence. Maybe it was dumb that you were so easily flattered by a boy that was clearly not your significant other, however you didn’t seem to care. You liked that he saw you for your talents within the classroom and made sure to tell him such. “Thanks! I really appreciate that.”

“Y/N.” A familiar voice echoes in the library.

Your heart drops instantly. It was as though the air around you was sucked out of your lungs from the sound of your boyfriend catching sight of you breaking the rule. You knew damn well you were in for a punishment later that night, there was no doubt about that. It was unfortunate that he was going to treat you like you had cheated on him when clearly you hadn’t…it was even more unfortunate that the thought of Tom’s cruel, toxic behavior made your panties wet beyond belief.

Later that night, you’re glued to the floor by your knees. Tom’s trousers were already pulled down while his girth was shoved down your throat. Eyes watery, spit pooling from your mouth, you groan around his length as he pummels himself into your wet cavern over and over again. You moan around Tom, “Hmpf! Ah, T-Tom!”

It was perverted the way Tom’s face alters so proudly to see you flail around from the strength of his thrusts. Your hands were holding onto his thighs like it was a lifesaver from the massive blows to your throat. The sensation of your warm tongue licking at his cock makes him groan. Without missing a beat, Tom continues thrusting into your mouth. “Such a dirty girl. You deserve this, Y/N. You deserve to be used after today. Need to make you feel like the whore you are.”

Your hearts rapidly racing like crazy. Despite the disgusting words that spewed from Tom’s lips, you continued to moan around him and attacked his cock with quick motions of your tongue. You were enjoying every moment of this, though. While he could be overbearing sometimes, there was nothing about this situation that was scaring you. If anything, it only turned you on even more.

Your eyes meet Tom’s as you look up at him through wet eyelashes. His grin flickers into something more sinister as he continues to watch you cry over the force of his length. “Such a whore. You can’t even stop yourself for one second, you need the attention of some boy in the library. Wonder what he would think if he saw you now. Choking on my cock like some dumb slut.”

Suddenly, Tom has pulled out his length from your mouth. He smacks the tip against your cheek a few times as a reminder that you are still beneath him, that you’ll always be beneath his power; but that was fine by you. You loved the way he treats you even if it is degrading. You knew you deserved this. Because after all, you’re a dirty whore for sitting alone with a boy that wasn’t your boyfriend.

Coughing from the burning sensation in the back of your throat, you look up at your boyfriend and tell him, “I-I’m sorry, Tom. I really didn’t mean-”

“Get on the bed, now. Hands and knees.” He commands you in a dark voice.

Not wasting another second, you strip off all clothing and get onto the bed without a second thought. The cool air of the bedroom hits your glistening cunt. In the midst of all the dirty talking and face-fucking, Tom had managed to find a way to make you soaked wet. You feel his hands trail along your bare bottom. Goosebumps run up and down your thighs. Tom seems to take note of this behavior and allows his fingers to dig deep into the plumpness of your legs. He squeezes the fat and gives it a quick jiggle, right before pulling his hand back to slap the flesh hard. You yelp out of pain, “Oh, fuck!”

“My naughty whore. You should be able to handle this, right? It’s what you deserve after today.” He says huskily, getting into position between your legs. He smacks your thighs once, twice, multiple times in a row. Your skin stings in pain, red and hot from the blows.

However, you loved every second of it. You know Tom loves it when you apologize, so you continue with your begging. “I’m sorry! I love you, Tom, I do. I only want you and your cock.”

At the mention of his girth, the boy instantly grabs the base of the member. He guides the head of his cock to spread your wet lips, barely grazing your clit. Your entire body shudders and you let out a soft moan. He tells you, “If you really do want me, you’ll have to prove it. Take me like a good girl.”

Looking back at Tom, you stare at him intently as you feel the tip of his member push past your lips and enter your wet hole. You comply immediately to his wants and push back against him so that he can enter you easier. As scary as he sounds, you know you two have a safe word that you could blurt out at any moment if you truly were terrified. Which you weren’t, and he knew this. Without prep, it burned like hell to feel Tom push himself inside you, but felt satisfying nonetheless. Your mouth is open wide as you let out a whine. He inserts himself all the way in, making you gasp loudly. “F-Fuck, Tom. F-Feels so good.”

“That’s fucking right.” He growls, hands finding their ways to your hips. He pulls out and slams inside you harshly, thrusting into your sweet pussy with enough force to make you fall forward onto the bed.

Face pressed against the mattress, you scream loudly. “Yes! YES! Fuck me, you feel so good! Such a big cock!”

You can feel your breasts rock back and forth violently from the intensity of his hips slapping against your bottom so harshly. You can feel his balls slapping against your ass as he continues to fuck you relentlessly. He hammers into your cunt with deep, long strokes and nearly laughs at how hard you squeeze him like a vice. “You’re so damn tight. Damn, I love fucking your pussy.”

You arch your back and can feel your ass ripple from the force of his thrusts. Not long after Tom pistons his cock in and out of your hole, you feel an orgasm rocket through your body and leave you a moaning mess. Juices leak out of you and onto his member, and the sight makes your boyfriend fall apart.

He pounds you into submission, groaning loudly as the knot in his stomach grows tighter and tighter. Tom spanks you with the emphasis of each word, telling you, “Take. My. Fucking. Cum.”

He pulls himself out of your leaking cunt, stroking his cock to spray his warm seed all over your thighs. You sigh blissfully at the feeling of his liquid covering your bottom. It was incredibly hot and made you smile wide. You turn your head to Tom, watching him grin at the artwork he left on your legs. You ask him, “Are we good now?”

He nods his head, wiping sweat from his brow and tells you, “Yes. You did well, honey.”

And that’s all you need to hear to be able to fall asleep happily later that night.

TAGLIST: @calmspencer, @baddiebbarbietngz, @slytherclaw1978, @serendipitous-fernweh, @pandanation24, @rachelreallyroars, @tinafuentes, @chvmpion-jack, @ethereallovr, @godknows-shetried, @waggoth, @ellieswhor3, @wildestdreamers-tv, @faefaes-world, @hahahafucku, @delusional-13s-blog

[dilatorywriting]

I feel we are all super mean to the reader with Siren Vil??? Are they actually stupid or is it just that they can’t understand what’s going on? Which is kinda valid considering their situation?

I mean it has to be hard for them, right? Not only do they have trouble communicating with THEIR world since they are almost 100% deaf, but then you have the extreme cultural differences of trying to communicate with someone who exists in what is basically from a completely DIFFERENT world (part of your world reference anyone?).

I just feel like, while they may not be a genius or anything, it’s kind of mean to be expecting them to know what’s going on when they have so much working against them. We’re calling them stupid for not understanding that the necklace was a courting gift and that the siren would come back for them… why would they think that?

They could tell the necklace meant more to the siren than they thought it should have and it made the siren more friendly, but why would that equate to what is basically marriage and never leaving them behind? And the reader knows the siren wants to get back to his pod really badly. While they became friends and got attached, that wouldn’t mean he would come back to help the reader. Of course the reader is going to see a ship and try to get off of where they were marooned.

As dumb as the reader CAN be sometimes (like when they took a bite of the cooked crab without removing its shell 🤦‍♀️) I really don’t think they’re THAT stupid. They’re just… on the level of someone who was probably an uneducated kid when they snuck aboard a pirate ship and never looked back and now they’re an adult. You mentioned in one chapter I believe that Riddle taught them to read I think? Or something?

I LOVE this story, don’t get me wrong. At all. Ever. I adore it.

The fact that I’m even here hanging out on the author’s blog shows how much I love it - and your other writing. I guess it’s just been getting to me a little how we all seem to slam Siren Vil’s reader so much. Maybe I’m just making mountains out of molehills. Maybe you’re just being sarcastic and I’m missing the cues because I’m neurodivergent and I do that sometimes. If so I’m sorry.

To end on a good note, I’m really happy you’re back and are doing better. I know how much brains can suck. If your demons are too mean to you, just send Reaper Rook after them. He’ll take care of them for you, I’m sure of it! 💚🖤

I think it’s mostly said out of love, like how when you pick up a cat to give it cuddles and call it a stinky lil garbage gremlin even though you would die for that creature. The Reader in this is someone I try to write as having inconsistent levels of intelligence. Great planner, great at setting goals and reaching them, but TERRIBLE emotional intelligence all around. Not just in Siren Language. Just overall is blind to a lot going on around them. And yes, the added layer of communication difficulties certainly don’t help, but this is a reader I fully see as one who even *if* they had super sight, hearing, and intellect would still be missing the point of things simply because they’re stubborn in their perception and lock onto that One Thing rather than being willing to see the bigger picture. Even when the evidence is staring them right in the face. Which is why we lovingly call them a big ol doofus.

[billybob598]

Secret Recipe (Lucy Bronze x Reader)

Another fic LFG!!!!!! This was requested by the anon who asked for a Lucy x Secret wife chef reader. Hope this is what you wanted! Got a Katie McCabe fic next. As always, any feedback good or bad welcomed! Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.3K (LFG!!!!)

For years now whenever Lucy came to camp she would have lots of packed lunches to fend off her hunger. The girls sometimes gave her a hard time about it, but for the most part, they don’t think too much about it most of the time. That is until one day Keira missed the served lunch due to a meeting. Keira was really starting to get hungry, but all the food was gone and they had training again soon so it’s not like she could make a quick sandwich or something. Then, Lucy became Keira’s saviour when she shoved a brown paper bag at her. At first, Keira was confused, but then it dawned on her that it was the same type of bag that Lucy always brought her packed lunches in. She gratefully grabbed the bag mumbling out a thanks before eagerly ripped open the bag. The team had never seen Keira so excited about food before. It was a mixture of her own hunger and curiosity as to what was in the bag that fueled Keira as she devoured the contents of the bag. In the bag, there was a container of what Lucy called burrito bowl. After each bite, Keira would let out a satisfied sound, a sound that had all the other girls giggling at her. She was too in love with the food to care. 

“If you were eating this right now, you’d be making these noises too,” she tries to defend herself as everyone keeps laughing. 

“Is it good?” Georgia asks.

“Unbelievably good,” Keria says, shovelling more food into her mouth.

“Wait, wait how is it really good? Lucy sucks at cooking,” Lucy goes to protest, but Millie keeps on talking, “Don’t even deny it Luce, there’s no way you could make something Keira likes that much.” 

For the rest of camp, Lucy gets bombarded with questions on how she’s getting these packed lunches. The team just cannot seem to figure it out.

“Maybe she buys them?”

“No, no they’re definitely not bought, she brings them in like plastic containers.”

“What if she gets her mum to make them?”

“Nope, her mum lives too far away for that.”

“What if she’s got like a deal with a mob boss, so they make her lunch in exchange for her to keep her mouth shut.”

Everyone really seems to like the last idea Rachael suggested. Lucy just rolls her eyes at their silliness. 

“Well, you’re all wrong. What if I actually do make them all by myself?” She remarks. Everyone makes disbelieving noises.

“There’s absolutely no way you can make food that good and that often,” Georgia says. Lucy did have to concede that one, it was a well-known fact that Lucy could make a decent meal every once and a while, but every day? No way. 

On the last night of camp, Lucy decides to Facetime you, she had told you about the incident, and you actually found it really hilarious. As she was telling you about their latest ideas you can’t help but let out a little snort,

“They think you have a deal with the mafia?” You say while trying to hold back your laughter.

“Yep, they’re so dumb. And also, do I really seem like someone involved with the mafia?” 

“I mean, you do kinda give off those vibes, love.” The look of betrayal on Lucy’s face has you in stitches. 

“You better stop laughing Y/N. I would hate for you to be offed by a mob boss,” she says with a grin. 

You guys continue to talk for a bit when you ask her about something that had been nagging you for a bit.

“Why don’t you just tell them about us?” The question was very out of the blue so, it caught Lucy off guard. 

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you just tell them that you’re married and that your wife makes your lunches and everything? Why keep it a secret anymore? They’re going to figure it out soon.” You weren’t mad at her, you were just curious as to why she never wanted to tell the team about you guys.

“I don’t know babe. It’s just easier. Plus, if I told them about you, they’d definitely want to meet you,” she sighs. 

“I’d love to meet them.”

“I’m not sure if you would, they can be very…overbearing,” Lucy warns you.

“Come on Luce. I spend like twelve hours a day overlooking a kitchen and dealing with other peoples’ problems as if I’m their mom. I’m sure I can handle twenty footballers,” you say confidently.

“Okay, then. How about I invite them over for dinner in a couple of days? I’m sure they’d love for you to cook for them,” Luce suggests. You nod happily, excited at the prospect of finally meeting all of Lucy’s friends. 

When Lucy invites the team over the next day she gets a lot of excited murmurs and questions on whether she was cooking or not. She’s seen the girls loud, but it was something else when she told them that her wife would be cooking. After announcing that, she very swiftly made her exit.

As the first Lionesses make their way inside you and Lucy’s house, they can’t believe all the pictures of you and her.

“This is her, right?” Lotte says as she points at a photo of you and Lucy on your wedding day.

“Yup, that’s Y/N,” Lucy says with a proud smile.

“She’s really pretty.” Everyone snickers at the glare Lucy gives to Lotte. “Is she in the kitchen?” Lucy nods and shows them the way. 

You look up when you hear loud voices carry into the kitchen. Wiping your hands off, you make your way around the island to meet everybody.

“This is Y/N, my wife,” Lucy introduces you. You hear a chorus of “Hi Y/N”s. You give them all a warm smile before they start banging out questions,

“So you guys are married?”

“How long have you been married?”

“Why didn’t we know about you sooner?”

“Are you actually a cook?”

“Do you own a restaurant?”

“What’s your favourite dish to make?”

So, you make all of Lucy’s lunches then?”

You are a bit surprised, but you compose yourself and answer all their questions,

“Yup, we’re married and have been for five years now. After we got married we just thought it easier to keep it on the down-low so we could focus on our careers. I am actually a chef, and I run Midsummer House which has two Michelin stars and is in Cambridge. At the restaurant we always make lots of fancy dishes, but sometimes I just like making pepperoni pizza. Yes, I make all of Lucy’s lunches for camp.”

As the night progresses, you can understand why Lucy likes going to national team camp so much, everyone is extremely kind to you and there is lots of banter and telling stories that you haven’t heard yet. You get a number of compliments on the food you had prepared for dinner. Rachael starts complaining about how it’s unfair that only Lucy gets your packed lunches. You laugh stating that something could be arranged for the team. This gets everyone very excited and makes it a little harder to get everyone out of the house after. All in all, it was a pretty successful first time meeting the Lionesses. As you clean up the dishes, you feel someone’s arms wrap around you from behind.

“Everything was delicious, love,” Lucy whispers into your ear.

“You liked it? It was a new recipe,” you reply, still washing some things.

“Mhm, it was very good,” you turn around in her arms and give her a kiss. She sighs into the kiss before pulling away and helping with the clean up.

The next camp, everyone is ecstatic when you show up to St. George’s Park with twenty-three packed lunches and a big smile.

[piss-pumpkin]

Sober confessions (are a little better) - Leo valdez x reader

Part 2 of drunken confessions (kind of suck), ~3.3k words, gn reader Masterlist

Leo was in shock. It took every ounce of willpower not to burst into flames as you froze for a moment, caught off guard. “I what?” You asked, dumbstruck. What really got to him though was your face. He knew you well enough to see the subtle blush, and the suppressed smile. 

But good or bad, that was the question. Leo laughed along, doing his best to play cool while his mind raced. “Yeah,” he giggled, averting his eyes casually by looking at the phone. “You had me blushing and everything,” he joked. Okay, that was a safe answer. Not saying he rejected you, or that he wanted to accept. Neutral mostly, if a little flirty. Leo’s eyes were trained on the phone screen, wide and wild as he fought a nervous smile and tried to mask it with a flirty one. 

“I did?” You asked, baffled. In his peripheral he could see you do the same as him, stare at your food. Okay, now he could look at you, if you weren’t looking at him. For just a moment he wondered if it was his brain that was on fire, with logic like that. He quickly shook it off. 

He got one glance in before he folded, eyes immediately darting back to the phone, which he just now realized was off, and had been for at least a minute. Shit. He turned in on, and opened a random app. In just a look he saw your wide eyes, flushed face and your hand covering your mouth, but by your eyes he could tell your pained smile. Double shit. Was drunk you onto something? Leo stared at a dumb mobile game and somehow managed to form words, “yeah,” he laughed. “You were pretty smooth.”

You cringed, and Leo decided he might be the worst guy around at reading signals, and actually you might just be embarrassed about confessing to a guy like him. You hummed awkwardly, “Oh, that’s… something.”

Something? Leo winced, waiting for you to say more. But more never came, and an awkward silence filled the air, which was somehow worse than a more awkward conversation. 

You finally spoke, “Like, for real? For actually? I actually did that?”

Leo purse his lips, pausing a moment. To tell you, or not to tell you? He could probably still lie, or make a joke of it. But he promised not too. “What, you can’t believe it? It’s true, you a little smooth when you’re drunk,” he smiled cautiously. 

You looked over at him curiously, and the blush across your face confused him just a little bit. “Wha-what did you say?” You asked, puzzled. 

Well shit. “Uh,” he started, looking for the easiest answer. Or best answer. How to say no, but I wanted to say yes. But I can’t say yes. And you don’t want me to, not really. And I don’t want to say yes, actually, because it sucks you only like me when you’re fucked up. “No?” He said. “I-I said no, I guess.”

”Oh,” you said simply, looking back at your food.

And suddenly Leo felt very small. In a bad way, he decided. Sometimes small could be good, people like small things, some people think they’re cute. But Leo felt small like a grain of sand or dirt that gets stuck in your shoe, a constant bother but hard to shake. He wasn’t sure why he needed to defend himself on this, “Well, it’s not like I could say yes,” he laughed. “Besides, it’s not like you meant it.”

You nodded, “Right.” And he couldn’t read your expression, a language he was usually fluent in. 

Panic. “Right?” He asked, trying to play it off, brow raised like he as teasing.

You looked over at him and smiled softly, nodding again, more confidently this time. “Right,” you affirmed, and stood up, plate in hand. “I think you tell me one more thing I did last night I’ll combust, so I’m gonna go catch up on whatever my chores are, alright?” You laughed warmly. “See ya later?”

Leo swallowed, nodded, “Yeah, later.”

And then you were off, first to burn what was left for the gods, and then out of the dining pavilion. And Leo was alone, and hoped nobody was around to hear that borderline painful conversation. He was certain he’d never struck out worse, in all the times he flirted around camp. And he didn’t even have to try this time. What an achievement. 

                                              …

This were bad. Your legs were shaking in your compelling mortified state as you walked out. And as soon as you turned a corner out of sight of the pavilion, you broke into a speed walk, then jog, then sprint back to your cabin. Oh my gods. You only got a few weird looks as you ran, and your head only hurt a little bit as it bobbed up and down with the steps. That was good, at least. 

You shut the door behind you, and ran your fingers through your hair. Okay. Time to take stock of your dead, you supposed. You made a fool of yourself asking out Leo, and got rejected. Rejected? You dramatically collapsed on your bed. Rejected. By Leo. 

What to do? Apologize? Act like it never happened? Something dramatic? Avoid him? Forever? You stared out the window at the trees a moment. You probably embarrassed him, too. Ugh. You dragged your hands across your face, pulling the skin. You half wanted to peel it off. Yikes. 

Leo was far from the only person at camp you thought you’d have a shot with, but he was definitely the only one you could want. And you just had to go ruin that. 

You spent a fair amount of time lamenting in your cabin, then a good stretch doing chores like you said. And did your best to keep busy as long as you could, and keep your head empty, without a thought of what had happened. At least nobody else knew. Whenever people from last night felt like talking to you, they brought up the other shenanigans, and you could have fun remembering, or hearing about your exploits. Distractions. 

But the sun was setting, and you were getting restless. Ignoring problems only worked for so long, and sometimes letting them fester was worse. Damage control. You should nip this in the bud. If you payed the right cards, maybe you could recover. 

You were just finishing cleaning up the arts and crafts station, when you nodded to yourself. Yeah. Good plans. Maybe you could save yourself. Half the work was done for you, he already believed it was just the alcohol.  

You started to the bunker, not bothering to check his cabin. He was probably working alone, at this time of day. The sun was going down, and the sky was turning a purple haze. You half hoped you were wrong, and Leo was somewhere around seeing the pretty colours. 

You knew the code, one of few with the privilege of walking in without knocking. And of course, you were right, and hopes wrong. There he was. 

“Hey,” you said softly, coming up beside him. He looked up at you with his wide brown eyes, and you cringed a little, hoping you didn’t ruin your friendship with him. You could live with losing your chances with him, but your whole relationship? No shot. “Uh, I just wanted to say… sorry about last night?” You said, offering an only slightly awkward smile. “Must have been really awkward for you.”

Leo smiled as he looked up at you, cringing with his eyes. “Yeah, little bit,” he laughed, then waved his hand, dropping the metal he was tinkering with. “But it’s fine, Y/n, no need to apologize.”

Well that’s good. You sighed in relief. At least things were good. He seemed at ease. Maybe recovery could be easy. With a smile, you hopped up onto the desk beside him to sit, like usual. At least things weren’t weird. You groaned, resting the back of your head against the wall behind you. “At least I don’t remember, because I’d probably be even more mortified that way.”

Leo snickered rolling his eyes, “If you only knew.”

You raised your brow, “Dude,” you said, laughing. “Are you holding out on me? Did I do something even worse than…” you paused, not wanting to bring it up, like that would make it stuck in his head more. “Embarrassing myself completely?”

He paused, and you knew him well enough to know that was his thinking face. You braced yourself, preparing for the worst, for you to have done the most embarrassing thing you could imagine, whatever that was. You probably shouldn’t have even asked, now that you think about it. Ignorance is bli-

But he interrupted your train of thought, “Well, you always, do that,” Leo laughed, smiling softly at his hands. He quickly looked back up to you and laughed, “try to ask me out, that is.”

What. You stared at him. The fuck. “I do not,” you asserted, shaking your head. Because that would be absurd. 

Leo rolled his eyes. “Yeah,”  he said, like it was obvious. “Ya do.”

But if that were true, then he’d have rejected you… how many times? And just never felt like mentioning it. No chance, if that was true, you’re probably just die. Right there on the table. “Yeah, no I don’t,” you said again, somehow more confidently. “Now you’re fucking with me.”

As much as you wanted to maintain what little dignity you had, Leo didn’t look like he was fucking with you. He was smiling, but softly, tiredly even. His mischievous grin that came out when he joked. He looked too serious for this, even if he did laugh, “Yeah, no.” He shook his head, “I’m for realsies.”

But you already knew that. Even if you denied it. If you confessed once and didn’t remember, why not twice? Three times? More? Ugh. You cringed, shrinking into yourself. “That… doesn’t sound fun,” you said, leaning your head back to stare at the ceiling. But you couldn’t resist glancing down at him, as hard as you tried. “For either of us.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, staring at the floor with an awkward smile. “It’s kind of awkward, having to reject you, pretty much every time you drink,” he admitted. “I kind of hate it.”

You swallowed, completely understanding why he looked at the floor. But he seemed to have a stronger will than you, his eyes didn’t waver like yours did. Sighing, you resolved to do better, looking at the ceiling, and this time not looking back. “You hate the idea of me liking you?” You asked, wincing. It came out far weaker than you’d have liked. 

He cracked a smile, leaning his head back on his chair, now staring at the ceiling. “Not the idea, just the practice,” he said, brow furrowed. “I mean, what am I even supposed to say when you do that?”

Yes? You thought. But didn’t say it. He’d already rejected you once today, it seemed. No need to make it twice. “You could have told me, you know,” you said, pulling your feet up where you sat, so your head could rest on your knees. “If you hate it so much. Maybe if you told me, I might stop.”

Leo paused, lips pursed, and then picked up his scrap metal again, and a few wires and bolts. He started to fidget as he spoke, “Well, I thought it would make things weird.”

You snickered, “I guess you weren’t wrong.”

You heard Leo let out a small laugh through his nose, “Yeah, guess so.”

Leo’s workshop bunker was never truly silent. Even when there was nobody to speak, there was always the low rumble of a machine, occasionally the soft hum of the forge, often the sound of Leo tinkering. So you couldn’t really say it was an awkward silence, but it was damn close. 

Leo looked like there was more he wanted to say, brow furrowed and face scrunched as he wired a small contraption with calloused fingers. He sighed, “sorry, I probably shouldn’t have even brought it up, you were just drunk.” He looked up at you, tired smile on his lips. “Believe it or not, it was your idea for me to tell you.”

You spared him a glance, doing your best to meet his eyes. “Yeah,” you said, looking away again. Those eyes were too much. “I guess last night I was just full of bad ideas.”

”Yeah,” he snickered. “Bad ideas.”

You offered him a reluctant smile. “At least now we can forget about it, yeah?” 

Leo nodded, returning the same soft smile, “consider it forgotten.”

You smiled, less reluctant this time. For better or for worse, at least things could go back to normal. It was easier to look at him now, his eyes fallen onto the project in his hands as he leaned over his desk to grab parts. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, the silence feeling much more comfortable now. “If only I had this last night, all the shenanigans could have been documented,” you laughed. Your camera roll was empty.

Leo grinned up at you, “There’s always next time, right?”

“That means you’ve got to come next time, too,” you smiled, lightly kicking him. 

He shrugged, soft smile on his lips, “Well shit, how could I say no now?”

”You can’t,” you smirked. The empty camera roll needed fixing, that was certain. You turned slightly, opening the camera and holding the phone in front of you at a high angle. “Be my first picture?” You asked, looking down at him.

Wordlessly, he posed, dramatically winking and giving a thumbs up to the camera, and you snapped the shot. “Nice,” you said. It was a good first photo.

You turned to show him, but lost the will immediately. Leo was looking up at you rather intensely, lips pursed. He answered before you could ask, “Actually, Y/n, I know we just said to forget about… that whole thing,” he said, pushing his chair back and resting his feet in the table next to you. “But… I sorta promised you last night that I’d talk about it.”

Oh. You swallowed. Okay. Maybe you weren’t in the clear yet. 

                                            …

Leo was really doing it. He sighed, palms sweaty as metal pieces and wires idly bounced between them as he tried to calm his nerves. “Y/n, I don’t want to forget the things you say when you’re drunk, because they’re so…” he winced, tying to find the words that wouldn’t make him sound as pathetic as this felt. “…so nice, I guess.”

For a good moment, Leo was certain that came off horribly. But you didn’t seem to think so, looking at him with wide eyes, mouth hung slightly open. Maybe surprised. 

Leo pursed his lips. You were waiting for him to say more, and who was he if he didn’t fold when you looked at him like that? “I guess I just wish you liked me when you’re sober,” he said finally, shaking his head, eyes lowering. Yeah. That was it. Straight to the point.

“Leo, I-“ you started, reaching a hand out to him. He held his breath as you hesitated, and released when you put your hand down at the edge of the table in front of him. “Leo, I like you when I’m sober.”

Leo smiled, laughing through his nose. He scooted his chair closer again, resting an elbow beside your hand so he could hold up his head as he looked up at you. “Yeah, I know,” he chuckled. “But not like that.”

You pursed your lips, deathly still, but your eyes moved to the floor. 

Leo stopped you before you could respond, free hand up in the air like surrender. “Hey, and I’m not asking you too,” he said, doing his best to maintain his causal smile. He laughed, “I just… hey, we’re both full of dumb ideas. I guess I just wanted to tell you.” That might have been a lie. Telling you was the last thing he wanted. But here he was. 

You stared for a moment, and Leo could feel his heart beating in his throat. Then you laughed, covering your mouth, and he gulped, preparing for the worst. “Leo,” you said, hand barely covering a smile. “Leo, oh my gods.”

Leo paused, scrunching his brow. Huh? This could go very bad. Or maybe good? You didn’t seem mad, at least. 

Smiling at the floor, you scooted closer, until you were sitting just in front of him, smirking down. He must have looked like an idiot, staring up at you with wide eyes and confused the way he was. But that wasn’t unusual for him. “Leo I think your only dumb idea was liking me,” you laughed, head resting in your hands. 

Now Leo was officially puzzled. He stared dumbly at you. Blinked once, twice, and then realized he should probably say something. The laughing was involuntary, and he was about fifty percent sure he liked what you were saying. “Ha,” he exclaimed. “Like that was my idea,” he said rolling his eyes, “that was all you.”

You giggled, and for a moment Leo thought he saw you blush for a moment. “Leo I might have another bad idea,” you said, leaning closer towards him. 

Okay, that might be a sign, Leo thought, perhaps even a signal. He also thought he might combust, or at least burst into flames if not explode right there. But when you smiled down at him, face maybe a foot from his, it all left his brain. Not a single thought at all. “What… is it?” he asked awkwardly, grinning like a dork. 

“I think,” you started, “that we should totally kiss, wouldn’t that be awesome?” you said, resting your forehead on his. 

Leo flinched as your heads touched, for a split second retracting to avoid burning you. He felt hot. Burning. But not on fire. Before you could pull back too and lose the moment, he bridged the gap, eyes pressed shut, didn’t burn up, and kissed you. Oh my Gods. He was half shocked when you didn’t pull away, and had a heart attack when you kissed back, wide smile on your lips.

You giggled when you pulled back, “Hey, we should do that more often.”

Leo was grinning like an idiot, looking up at you. Wow you were pretty. And he wasn’t entirely sure this was real, he could swear he’s had this exact daydream once. But never so vivid. He shook his head, laughing. “Y/n, you’re the worst,” he giggled, letting his head fall into his hands.

”You don’t mean that,” you laughed, playfully hitting him on the shoulder. 

He couldn’t help but smile more into his hands, “no, I don’t,” he said, shaking his head. “How could I, after that?”

He heard you let it a small nose laugh, and felt your hand on his. Without a seconds hesitation he let you move his hands away, and replace them with your own as you guided his head up to look at you again. He leaned gently on your hand as you spoke, “Leo, I’m sorry I made you think I- I only liked you when I’m drunk,” you said, eyes not leaving his face. “Because thats not true.”

Leo, for a moment scared you might pull your hands back, covered them in his own. And he thought your hands were the only place he could ever want to rest his head. “Well, you did a great job proving me wrong,” he snickered. 

You smiled, “that’s my favourite thing to do, actually.”

”Wanna do it again?” He grinned. 

Anyway. Teehee I was kicking my feet a little writing this one ngl.

Taglist: I’m just gonna tag everyone who asked for this in the first post lmao lmk if you want tag removed @annybah @nottherealslimshady @bellamysnatblida

[cherubcameron]

Not an idiot

The moment he got home, he got in bed. Not caring if he was in outside clothes. You were already on the bed, you’d been reading a book. But set it aside to look at your upset boyfriend.

“Harrington? You okay?” You asked, you leaned in to where his head was buried. Kissing him gently on his cheek that wasn’t pressed onto the bed. He sighed and raised his head.

“Keith called me an idiot because I accidentally messed up one of the tapes. He was yelling so much that Robin had to intervene.” You were softly playing with his hair, you frowned as he recounted what happened.

“You made a mistake, baby. That’s not your fault. Shit happens.” You kept kissing his face, tears were springing out of his eyes.

“I’m always being called an idiot. Or being told that I’m dumb without them saying it. Like great, everyone thinks that’s funny. But sometimes, sometimes it really does get to me. It sucks.” He said, his voice was cracking and it hurt your heart that he was saying these things.

“I know it’s easier said than done. But don’t let them get in your head. It’s just not worth it.” You said, you knew in some way that he was talking about his own friends.

“It hurts more when it comes from Dustin or Robin. Like I get it, I wasn’t the smartest guy at school. Or sometimes it takes me longer to understand certain things. But still I try. I try and it’s just never good enough. I have my own way of thinking things. I don’t know, I’m just rambling.” He buried his face into your lap, holding onto your thighs as he did so.

“Steve, how come you didn’t say so? They’re your friends-.”

“Because then, then it’ll look like I can’t take a joke. I don’t want to look like a dingus.”

You were beginning to see, all the words his friends used on him; were actually hurting him. You didn’t realize until then. You stroked his hair, letting his tears fall on your thighs.

“Baby, if they really care about you. They would understand.”

He shook his head. “I deserve it, for all the years I was an asshole.”

It was your turn to shake your head. “That’s not true, you don’t deserve that Steve. Hey, Steve.” He looked up at you, his eyes were red from crying.

“You’re not an idiot. Just because you understand things differently doesn’t make you dumb. You’re learning things in your own way.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me stop crying.” He said, you laughed a little and shook your head.

“C’mere.” You said. He moved his body upwards as you lowered yourself down. He was now on top of you. His arms circling your body. “I’m not just saying stuff to make you stop crying. I promise I mean it. All of it.”

You kissed him on his lips, you looked into his eyes and he smiled at you.

“I’m glad I have you. You make me feel better about myself. Not to say-.”

“I get what you mean. You don’t have to explain yourself. Why don’t we go and take a bath. That way you can relax. You deserve it.” He nodded his head.

Once you two had made it into the bathroom, you’d put on the water and let the warm water fill the tub. You added bath soap that smelled like roses into it. You helped him get out of his work clothes. He watched you as you did so. Helping you in return.

You both settle into the water, you could tell once he was in the bath. He’d begun to relax more. You kissed his cheeks softly. His hands were on you.

“Turn.”

“Why?” He asked.

“Just turn.” You laughed. He did as you asked, his head falling onto your chest. You gathered some water from the tub and began to run it onto his body. He shivered as you did so. You continued as you gathered water for his hair. Tonight was about him. You even added his favorite shampoo and conditioner into his hair.

“Hey babe?” He said, his eyes were closed as you continued to bath him.

“Yeah?”

“I love you so much. I’m glad I met you.” You kissed his cheek.

“I love you too, I’m glad you’re in my life.” He smiled up at you.

“You’re so getting pounded into tonight by the way.” You let out a laugh, thinking he was joking. But once you looked into his eyes and saw the lust in them. You closed your mouth.

A smirk was on his face as he watched you. Let’s just say you guys didn’t make it into the bedroom.

[morganbritton132]

How does the inevitable “Steve’s mom doesn’t show up” realization go? How does everyone react? I know they all kind of know she won’t be there but I can’t imagine that it doesn’t still hurt.

It is unspoken.

No one mentions her name. No one asks if Steve has heard anything. No one even calls him Harrington the whole weekend, but they’re kinda waiting to see if she does show up. Though, they know that they shouldn’t.

The general consensus among the party is to keep Steve as occupied as possible during the weekend because you can’t think too hard about the absence of a parent when El is telling you that she’s thinking of joining an MLM (She is not, but Steve is certainly not thinking about his mother when he starts listing of the reasons why MLMs are bad). The parents seem to have gotten the memo too because they give Steve a little extra love.

In quieter moments when Steve gets a little too in his head or his eyes get a little glassy, Eddie will pull him away from the window and back into the fray. After a little bit to drink and a little distance from the noise, he asks Hopper, “Is she – Just, is she happy? After my dad, uh. After him, is she happy?”

He says later after the evening sun slips below the horizon, and him and Eddie are passing cigarettes between each other, “I just thought – this is it. This is the last time I can reach out where she might reach back, and…and I just don’t understand why she won’t.”

He never really seems that upset.

Even in the quiet moments. Even after everybody leaves. Even after Hopper and Joyce linger later into Sunday night than they usually do, Steve never seems upset that his mother didn’t show up.

Eddie gives it two days before he brings it up again. If they don’t talk about the elephant in the room than Eddie is going to have a stroke, so he brings it up over dinner, “It sucks that your mom didn’t come. I know you wanted her there.”

“It’s okay.”

“How is it okay?” Eddie asked. “I couldn’t even suggest that she might not be here before the weekend without you biting my head off but you’re just fine now?”

“Yeah,” Steve shrugged. “It was – I overreacted, I know. I’m sorry. I’m just – I’m dumb for thinking that she’d show up.”

“You’re not-“

“She’s always late.”

“…What?”

“My birthday. She, uh. Every year, Ma would call and say that they’d be home for my birthday and they never were, but they’d come home. Sometimes it was a few days, sometimes a few weeks, but they’d come home. She always bought a cake.”

Eddie’s heart kinda breaks a little, “Stevie.”

“So,” Steve steamrolls on. “So, she’s just late. Not this weekend, not next. But. But maybe the one after that, or in a month. I don’t know, but…she might. I’m not ready to give up yet.” 

[strayheartless]

Cloud wakes up one morning in Edge, and everything is normal...but he feels like someone something is missing. He's used to it, his memory is shit these days, whatever.

Squall wakes up one morning, in his queen sized bed, all alone. Huh, that's unusual totally normal, like he gives a shit.

Neither of them realize time and space warped them into the same world for 10 years, where they got together, then warped them out and erased them from each other's memories and worlds.

😈

I know I asked for this but HECKIN’ OWWWWWWWWWWWW.

***

Denzel is pretty used to Cloud taking a second to recognise him in the morning. Tifa and Marlene say it happens sometimes, and he’s lived with them long enough now to know that it’s not personal. Still, this morning seems particularly bad.

Cloud is staring at him perplexed across the breakfast table, ignoring his own toast. He blinks hard a couple of times, then shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut tighter. He looks upset by something, maybe even a little confused.

“Cloud, is everything okay?” Tifa asks from the sink and Cloud opens his eyes breathing deeply.

“Yeah,” he mutters, reaching out to push Denzel’s bangs out of his eyes.

“Has your hair gotten lighter?” He asks and Denzel makes a confused sound.

“I don’t think so,” he says.

Cloud pulls his hand back, letting the hair flop back into place and Scrubs at his face, frustrated.

“Hey,” Tifa rounds the table and kneels next to his chair. “You sure your okay? You look spooked,”

Cloud let his head hang for a second, gripping at his own neck so hard that Tifa reaches out to extract his nails from his nape.

“I- I feel like I’m missing something. Like someone should be here and they’re not. But I can’t tell who,”

“Marlene?” Zel guesses but Cloud shakes his head.

“Were you dreaming about Zack and Aerith again?” Was Tifa’s guess.

“Not that I can remember,” Cloud shakes his head again and lets Tifa take over massaging his neck.

They were all familiar with Clouds spotty memory. Sometimes he forgot Aerith was dead. Sometimes he would wake up and insist that he had to go meet Zack at some hole in the wall pizza joint that hadn’t existed since Meteor fall. On really bad days he didn’t talk, just stared at everyone like he didn’t know who they were. Like he was completely vacant.

“Do you want me to call your Clients for today and postpone deliveries?”

“No,” Cloudbutted his head against Tifa’s shoulder, something he’d taken to doing as a sign of affection when his words were failing him.

She ruffled the back of his hair and let him get on his way.

There weren’t many deliveries that day anyway. His first was Cid and as he walked into the shop he almost dropped the box at the sight of Shera. He doesn’t know why, but he hadn’t expected her to be there. The Workshop looked wrong too. Had Cid painted the hill of the Gum- airship? Cloud tsked. He liked the red better.

“Hey kid, Y’alright?” Cloud jumps again. He swings round to see Cid squinting at him from behind his shouldering goggles.

“Yeah,” he not-quite-lies. “Just having an off day… feel like I’ve lost something. Don’t know what,”

Cid snorts.

“That’s called getting old son,”

“That’s called almost drowning in Mako twice chief,” Cloud bites back, but there’s no real heat to it.

“Yeah yeah, you’re a walk-in’ talking’ miracle. I got it,” he hands Cloud the cash for delivery and Cloud pockets it without checking. Even if it wasn’t all there, he knew Cid was good for it. Even if he wasn’t Cloud would let him off. He always did for friends.

“You got many more o’these?” Cid asked, sucking on the end of his cigarette. Cloud thought it was a tooth pick… weird.

“Couple. Headed out to Kalm next.”

“Well you be careful, it’s gettin’ Squally out there,”

Cloud freezes. The image of a face burns itself into the forefront of his mind. A hand holding his that just a touch bigger. A body in his bed that he knows is going to start out on the other side of the bed, but will inevitably Koala itself to his back. A dumb jacket with an even dumber white fur collar. A slim set of hips adorned with far too many belts to be practical. A Gunblade. A scar across the bridge of a wonderfully sloped nose. A set of warm Hazelnut eyes.

Squall.

Clouds knees give out, hitting the tiled floor with a horrific crack.

He Screams at the sky.

****

“Can I help you Quistis?” Squall grumbles as he flips through the mornings reports. She’s been stood in his office too long and if she keeps staring at him like that he’s going to end up growsing something he regrets.

Fuck, his head is pounding.

“You seem off today.” She says like it’s an off hand comment. Squall resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“Didn’t sleep well.” He mutters, scribbling his signature at the bottom of a page. The next set of papers is about refurbishments to the western corridors. He massages between his eyes with the knuckle of his pointer finger.

Hadn’t they done that at the beginning of last year? Sora had talked his ear off about it being too much of a rabbit warr-

Who?

Squall blinks. Who the hell was Sora?

“Are you sure that’s all it is? Rinoa says you’ve been pretty in and out all day,”

“And I suppose Rinoa is the foremost authority on my moods,” it’s a unnecessary bite, one that he doesn’t even know the reason for. His wife is absolutely the authority on his mood swings. She’s generally the only one that can handle them.

No she isn’t.

Squall puts his pen down and places his head in his hands. His headache felt like someone was drilling into his eyes and temple. He just wants today to be over. He wants to go back home to C-

To Rinoa.

Quistis looks at him for a second, before seemingly deciding it’s not worth arguing with him. Instead she waits for him to finish signing papers while she looks out of his office window.

“Sure is Cloudy today,”

There’s a crash from behind her and as she spins around she finds Squall on his hands and knees on the carpet heaving up the pasty and Coffee she’d brought him. He’s sobbing hysterically as his mind faces a million miles a second and his head feels like it’s going to explode with the pressure of the memories.

A hand a little smaller than his, that was calloused and almost always covered in motor oil. A tiny waist that was just right for wrapping his arms around in the early mornings and late nights. Broad shoulders clad in paldrons. A wold at his heart. A wolf in his ear. The most dazzlingly blue eyes Squall has event seen. Bright blond hair. A stupidly large sword wrapped in bandages so he “didn’t hurt the kid”. A scarred sternum and torso under his hand.

Cloud.

Squall passed out from the pain.

[courtingchaos]

oooo but what about Doesn't-Know-He's-An-Incubus Eddie. like growing up his life was completely normal until he's older and starts having sex and he realizes he feels so.... strong.

This would be good too because the part I left out is him haunting comic book stores and tabletop game spaces because those girls are so desperate for a dude to not mansplain to them. They just want to be included and they know what they’re talking about and Eddie just loves teaching people. He’s like, the only dude who isn’t shooing them off or telling them they’re dumb. And it would get him so much ass.

Like picture it. He’s unaware of any actual power he might have. Probably got it from Al, that Munson charm he always wielded had to come from somewhere. Eddie would see these girls getting dragged around by boyfriends who could care less that they were there, if only to show the other dudes that ‘hey, I have a girlfriend and you don’t.’

He’d smile and ask them about their character sheet and next thing he knows he’s in the back of his van with her. He’s sliding into another random bed. He’s leaving after getting his world rocked enough that he feels like a brand new man. He’s finding people at the Hideout on terrible dates and suddenly he’s getting these little flashes of himself in the middle of getting his dick sucked. Nothing he’d ever seen, at least not from that angle, but they’re just brief rose tinted images.

It’d happen more and more, for longer periods. Someone’s babbling under him and he’s like, taken by visions. Sometimes it’s just him sometimes it’s someone else. Sometimes he’s just a polished version of himself, some kind of rockstar-model combo, but then he starts seeing it. That freak behavior.

“A tiefling? Really?” He asks mid stroke. He looms over her while staring through her. He can see the horns weaving through his hair. The deep purple skin and black eyes. A forked tongue flicks down at her with his grin bracketing it.

“Wh-what?” She’s breathless and gone. He shifts his gaze to catch her’s and he can’t. Eyes fogged over with lust, mist that settles over the color of her iris.

“Is this it, your big fantasy?”

“Uh huh.”

He leans in close pushing her knees into her chest. Spread open so vulnerably under him. He could eat her up and he doesn’t think she’d ever complain. Inches from her face he’s whispering to her, talking her to the edge of her pleasure. Writhing and shaking under him, nails digging into his biceps he barely notices the scratches or the draw of blood. He hasn’t noticed the change in his voice. There’s a baseline to it, something deep and reverberating and it almost strings her orgasm along longer.

When she finally comes down and unwinds from herself Eddie realizes he never came. There was a spell happening in the back of his van, something heady and new. He could snatch that image of himself out of thin air and tuck it away for later. It makes him chuckle while she’s trying to wiggle back into her jeans.

“So do you play as a tiefling or was that just something you came up with on the spot?” He’s buttoning his own jeans and doesn’t catch her giving him a weird look.

“What?”

“The…tiefling thing. Big purple guy?” The ‘me’ is implied but he doesn’t say it.

“I don’t-I’m not-“

“I’m not picking on you.” He’s quick to reassure but she looks confused, not hurt.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t think you were.” There’s a shy smile that she tries to hide. When he opens the door to help her step out she asks if he’ll be around for next weeks session. It’s unsaid but he catches the flash of the inside of his van.

“Sure.” He’s vibrating. His skin crackles and his blood sings. This feels better than any bong rip or bump he’s sniffed. There’s a tingling along his spine as he watches her walk away and he tries to figure out just what it was he was doing in the dark.

[sirianasims]

Chapter 39

Invisible String

Myra sighed.

“… but you know what my mom is like. There’s no mercy. So I had to apologise to my dumb teacher. Ugh, parents.”

I tried to mimic her tone.

“Yeah. Parents. Can’t live with them, can’t leave them yet. At least not for two more years. But then you’ll be off to Britechester.”

Myra laughed hoarsely. I liked the sound.

“Yes! Freedom! And I’ll scout out all the best hangout spots for when you join me.”

I turned my head, distracted. A couple of girls from my year, Sophia and Emma, were standing behind the hedge and whispering.

Myra saw them too.

“Stupid bimbos. Think they’re better than us just because they’re popular.”

“Look at them, Julia, not an intelligent thought in their head, spending their days gossiping and posting inane shit on Social Bunny about pillow fights. As if we don’t know what it really means. They seem to think the amount of likes they get somehow decide their worth as people. Why would anyone ever care about being popular?”

Her voice was dripping with venom, her thin lips curled in a sneer. I briefly wondered what it would be like to kiss her but pushed the thought away as so many times before. Myra wasn’t someone you kissed. Myra was something to be admired from a safe distance, all sharp edges and opinions.

“Maybe they just like having a lot of friends.”

“Friends? Julia, people liking you on social media are not real friends anyway. There’s a reason they call it followers. Like you were some sort of guru or something. It’s ridiculous.”

“I guess.”

Myra narrowed her eyes.

“Please don’t tell me you want to be popular.”

I hesitated. Myra was my best friend – my only friend, really. I should be honest with her.

“I don’t want to be popular, but sometimes… it would be nice to be… liked?”

I forced the words out, slowly withering under her glare.

“Seriously, Julia? You, the most unique and creative person I know, one of the only girls in this dumb town that doesn’t suck – you want to be just another clone?”

“No! I just feel alone sometimes, you know? Like, I’m already the fifth wheel in my family. My parents have each other, my sisters have always been really close and my brothers are twins. Sometimes I just think it would be nice to have friends.”

“And what am I, chopped liver?”

“You know what I mean, Myra. You don’t always have time for me and I’ll still have a whole year left after you graduate. All alone.”

The bell rang. Myra got up and brushed off her jeans, smiling at me. As quick as she was to anger, it never lasted long.

“Are you sure you can’t hang out after class? My dad is making Bhel Puri.”

“Sorry, not tonight. I’ve got to finish a project.”

It wasn’t really a lie.

beginning / previous / next

[clovermunson]

here’s a tamer one:

gimme all your unpopular stranger things opinions, pretty please!!

sav, bestie you know i love being controversial (sometimes) and i know that some of these may get me tumblr-cancelled or cause a fandom riot because most of them will be about billy (and by extension, max), but that’s not my problem.

billy and max genuinely cared about each other. i know, some of you are gonna look at that and say “how the fuck is that true??” but trust me. it is. both of them were forced into a shitty situation, and often took things out on each other because they were both misguided and trying to navigate things on their own. neil and susan obviously favored max, often neglecting billy and making him grow up on his own and way too fast. he was handling full-fledged adult responsibilities by the time he was sixteen, and he shouldn’t have been. now while i think susan may have tried to evenly delegate her attention to both kids, neil completely prohibited that under some false pretense such as “billy needs to grow up” or “he doesn’t need a mother anymore”. any time max screwed up, billy was left to deal with it instead of neil and susan handling it themselves, like parents should, not older siblings (though i believe had it not been for neil, susan would’ve taken care of max herself— i have some very complicated opinions on susan, but that’s another story). every time billy acted out in violence, it was a defense and survival mechanism for him; and he probably did it quite often to protect max because he cared for her, and for the fact that if he didn’t, he’d face neil’s wrath for the nth time (i.e.: the fight at byers’ home with steve— which, in billy’s defense, was totally justified from his point of view). anyway, max and billy cared about each other in their own weird little way.

more on the topic of billy, he wasn’t racist and he didn’t target or dislike lucas simply because he was black. that’s just a bullshit reason that 98% of the fandom uses to justify why they hate billy because they couldn’t read context clues and use some critical thinking skills. he disliked lucas because he witnessed lucas and max arguing in the school parking lot, and lucas was upsetting max— and billy knew that it would be his ass if neil found out about it.

i think the whole “girlboss” angle they’re trying to do with nancy kinda sucks and it’s ruining her character. she was definitely a stronger character in season 2 than any other season.

the series started with will, and it should end with will. i said what i said.

max stabbing billy with a needle and syringe with no idea what was in it is not the girlboss moment y’all think it is. what was in that syringe could’ve killed him for all anyone knew.

the sauna scene was genuinely billy begging for max to help him because he didn’t know what was going on, until it wasn’t, and max knew that was billy and not the mindflayer.

speaking of the whole mindflayer thing, y’all can’t tell me that max didn’t genuinely care about billy when she said “i really hope it’s not you” in reference to the party suspecting that billy was the host.

oh and in season two when billy’s “threatening” to run over the boys?? y’all are delusional for thinking he really would lmao he’s an older brother and older brothers mess with their sisters like that. and he’s a seventeen year old with a cool, fast car. there’s no way he was gonna willingly get himself a vehicular homicide charge in a bumfuck town in indiana. y’all are dumb as shit for thinking he would. and did y’all notice when max grabbed the wheel and made the car swerve to avoid hitting them? billy could’ve easily gone against her force and kept the car on course, but he didn’t.

stancy shippers are essentially romanticizing a toxic relationship between two people who very clearly want different things for themselves and could never actually work, from a logical and realistic viewpoint.

on that note, stancy should not happen in season five. or ever again for that matter. fight me about it.

karen wheeler’s actions in season three can’t be justified. i’m not even gonna argue on this one with anyone because y’all know what happened. sure she chose her family in the end, but she was really about to go hook up with a freshly-18 year old man while being in her 40s…absolutely not, ma’am. don’t even get me started on the other pool-lurking moms.

it’s game night, send one of these!

[11x13kyle]

what are the parents' honest thoughts on fireside and catg podcasts?? and how do linda and stephen react to butters cheating scandal

this is a GREAT question! i’m gonna expand to the nonpodcasters too btw.

butters’ parents: they are beyond humiliated by his very existence. the second he moves out their relationship starts to fizzle out, going from occasional talks and sometimes seeing each other on holidays to no contact at all and only linda acknowledging that he’s even their son. by the time the cheating scandal (and therefore his being gay) comes out, neither of them acknowledge him. as far as they’re concerned, he’s not their son anymore. when asked about him, they play dumb. he used to send them money but he doesn’t anymore. they never asked about this either because this requires contacting their son who isn’t their son. never an official disownment. and it hurts for butters even more because he didn’t even get the closure of his dad screaming at him about how much he sucks, it was just quiet. overall BAD situation.

kyle’s parents: they’re so embarrassed of him. constantly talking about how ike is a LAWYER and has a REAL job even though kyle is objectively more successful. sheila at least is occasionally nice about it because that’s her baby but gerald doesn’t even try to hide his disappointment. kyle is a failson to him and this kind of predated him doing fireside so now it’s just WORSE. permafailson. kyle tries so so hard to impress them and it does nothing, he will always be the disappointing son who had the potential to do so much more and instead is fucking around in los angeles with his bum musician boyfriend (as they see it).

cartman’s mom: cartman can do NO. WRONG. that is her baby. liane is so SO proud of him no matter what. he could kill someone and she wouldn’t give a fuck. she hates butters and kenny forever about the cheating thing too because they hurt her poopsiekins. she listens to fireside and swears to cartman that she thinks kyle’s jabs at him are awful, but secretly she finds them HILARIOUS and laughs out loud every time.

craig’s parents: cannot stress enough how little they give a shit. like, they love him and all, but his career is just so nothing to them. they sometimes even forget he has a podcast at all. their relationship is fine.

tweek’s parents: tweek’s parents are in jail. he visits them sometimes and they’re like “hey. we’re so proud of you for your podcast.” even though they don’t listen to it on account of they are in jail. they’re like “hey are you still gay? awesome. that’s so great. that must be fantastic for listenership.” tweek can’t bail them out because the charge is too big but they ask him every time nonetheless.

tolkien’s parents: they don’t get it but they try to be supportive anyway. he calls them once a week and they have a pretty good relationship. neither of them really attempt to understand his career and they don’t listen to the pod because they find it irritating, but if their son is happy, they’re happy! he doesn’t really discuss it with them.

clyde’s dad: he’s already a podcast listener, so when clyde told him that he was starting a podcast himself he was immediately supportive. he doesn’t really listen to catg because he doesn’t get it, but occasionally he’ll tune in and try to enjoy it a bit. it’s just not his thing, he’s more of an npr kind of guy. he also listens to mbmbam at his big age. but he gets a kick out of telling people about his popular podcaster son.

jimmy’s parents: they love him but they think his podcast and his comedy in general are so fucking dumb. his mom is more polite about it but his dad outright tells him that it’s stupid and unfunny. they’re very serious people so the shit that he does is unfathomable to them.

stan’s parents: i mean randy obviously is his producer so his take on what stan is doing is clear. sharon is SO SO PROUD!!!!! she is always showing people videos of his shows and playing his songs at work, telling people in the waiting room that that’s her baby singing, and look how talented he is! she doesn’t quite get it, and the music isn’t her style, but by god is she playing that shit anyway because stan is her little angel.

kenny’s parents: carol doesn’t care what he does, not in the enabling way that liane has, but more in the way of that’s her little boy and she’s happy that he made it out, regardless of how he had to do it. as opposed to stuart, who is actively resentful of kenny, kind of similar to the way he resents gerald. he sees kenny’s success as a betrayal to their family and the very fact that kenny is living well is as though kenny is basically straight up saying that he sees himself as superior. kenny tries to send his dad money multiple times and he always sends it back and tells him to fuck off with that.

[generallyunskilled]

I think the biggest thing that’s sort of dragging modern fandom down is the constant desire to be a “good fandom” and focusing on the fandom as a whole and the actions of internet randoms. And I get it, it fucking sucks when you’re having a good time with something and you see shit like gross fanart, inappropriate ships and dumb toxic infighting. It really is disappointing when you see people acting this way, and not wanting to see that is pretty natural response.

I think however, this makes people really self conscious because they sort of see every person in a fandom as representing that fandom as a whole. So when a fandom is particularly icky, they feel bad for being in it, even if they’re a good person and not doing anything wrong. Because they fear they’ll be seen as guilty by association. Here’s the thing. There are no normal fandoms, just some are weirder than others and sometimes that edges into being bad weird. But you need to kill the idea that a bad fandom makes you personally look bad. You need to know that you, yourself are a good person and the actions of others do not reflect onto you.

You need to cultivate your experience. Block creeps. Block assholes. Block tags for the objectionable shit you don’t want to see. You need to quarantine that stuff away from your experience, because that is the best you can do. Awful shit has existed in fandom since its dawn and the solution is to push them into corners where they can’t be seen and never engage, even to refute. Block. On. Sight. This goes for literally everything from people being gross/creepy/inappropriate to people being rude/assholes to just “I don’t really want to see this person”. People who are into weird shit are not going to change their minds because people are arguing with them, especially when they know people object to it. You can’t crusade against every grody or problematic thing in fandom, it is a losing battle. It sucks but it is true. Block them, let your friends know or whatever and keep finding the things you like. You need to pay weridos no mind and just tell yourself that the only person that matters in your fandom experience is you. Only what you do matters and is a reflection on yourself. And you know what is right and wrong.

In my personal experience, fandom is best experienced not by interacting with it as a whole EVER. The best thing you can do is narrow it down into a sort of micro-fandom. Find the ships you like, the story arcs you enjoy, your favorite characters and stick to what you know. Make a handful of friends in these spaces. Interact with them and only them with some exceptions. The rest? Not your concern. Isn’t about you.

And most of all, I cannot stress this enough, you cannot be shaken by others disapproval. Some people are going to think you’re a freak for even engaging in fandom at all, even if they look and see that you’re not a particularly crazy person. Passion is cringe to some people. That is them failing to assess you, and not you failing to meet their assessments. You have to know that them going “ew, you’re in *insert fandom*” and presuming things about you is on them, and not you. Someone judging you based on others actions is not worth your time. Someone who does not take the time to see who you really are and makes snap judgements based on only the worst of the worst is a presumptive asshole. You cannot ever make a presumptive asshole like you without killing a part of yourself. Do not do that. The people who will judge you for you will come. And that is where you foster growth and friendship.

[hypnolurker]

I Will Not Suck Dick in Class

ORIGINAL IMAGE FOUND HERE

This is totally not fair! That teacher, Mr Lambert, is just out to get me! Seriously. I mean, my grades have been dropping all year and I swear I’m working just as hard and studying and stuff. He’s just doing this to mess with me, the creep.

Last week we had a test, right, and I got an F! An F! I never got an F before! I’m sure I revised all the right stuff, in fact I swear most of my answers were definitely right. I think he just marked them wrong to make me look bad. I really don’t understand what he’s got against me.

My parents believed his shit though. The reports saying I’ve been misbehaving in class. Chewing gum, swearing, flirting and distracting the male students…it’s all bullshit! Still, my parents have been yelling at me and trying to keep me in my room. Plus they give me all these talks about saving myself and not being a slut. I’m fed up of it!

Then today in class he took it too far. He had me stay after classes and write on the board “I will not suck dick in class” ten times. I wasn’t doing anything! I’m not a slut who sucks guys dicks at school! That didn’t matter though, and I had to do it to avoid yet another detention for something I didn’t do. I went to the headteacher about this but he’s even creepier than the Mr lambert! He was licking his lips throughout the conversation. I think I should contact the police…

* * *

I…I called the police and they said that if he hadn’t touched me or made any kind of proposal they couldn’t really do anything. The school-board were useless as well. As far as they are concerned Mr Lambert is a model teacher who is just trying to control an unruly student…except he’s a fucking liar!

He’s manipulating everyone…especially me! Recently he has made me stay after school more and more, writing stuff on that board. I hate him. I don’t want to do anything he says, it’s all lies. I write stuff like “I will not masturbate in class” and “I will not have inappropriate fantasies about students or members of staff”.

Worst part is…it’s affecting me. I don’t know it’s just that…everyone is treating me differently. My parents, other teachers, other students…they’re all acting as if I’m some kind of slut. As if I’m less than a normal person…filthy…disgusting…it’s creeping me out.

Like, last night I was trying to get to sleep and the words I was writing on the board wouldn’t get out of my mind. My thoughts kept wandering…thinking about the stuff I was accused of doing. I was actually imagining it. It was actually….well…it was kind of…it was getting me hot! I don’t know how but I was getting wet. All of my thoughts kept coming back to Mr Lambert…his dick…

I think I need help. My head has been swimming for a while now and I’m starting…I’m starting to get…confused. It’s getting harder to tell what the truth is. His lies…I know they’re lies…at least I think I do. I tell myself they’re just lies but then I catch myself in class, daydreaming. Having thoughts which aren’t…appropriate. There were juices on my seat. It’s not…it’s not like I meant to…I’m trying to make sense of this stuff!

* * *

Oh wow, like, I was reading my diary from a few months ago and I sounded soooooo stupid! Like I was all paranoid and scared of nice old Mr L. I had these silly ideas that I was actually smart. I can’t believe I accused him of lying about me when he’s so nice and smart and sexy…

He was just trying to help me. I see now. I was behaving like a total slut. Sucking boys dicks in the middle of class while he was trying to teach. Dressing all sexy and making it hard for the other students to learn…hehe! ‘hard’. I was so dumb thinking I was a normal girl…turns out it was because of how horny I was. I’m so glad Mr L helped me understand my urges and how I could deal with them.

Now I’m much better behaved. Mr L has me come early to class so that he can satisfy my need for cock long enough that I don’t disrupt the lesson. He lets me blow him and pussy fuck him and sometimes I even need an assfuck to stop the urges.

Then after class he fucks me again because I’m such a horny slut and I can’t keep my legs closed. Then he even helps me with my work since I don’t really know what he’s talking about in class. I think I was giving a handjob to the cute boy with the glasses when they taught this…um…al-ju-bra or whatever. It’s soooooo boring and I can’t concentrate because I’m daydreaming about Mr L’s dick, so big and hot and…well I’m just a massive slut I guess and a horny bimbo who can’t think about anything other than cock. I’m so glad I have Mr L to look after me after my parents said they’re gonna kick me out for being such a whore.

[kiyolovesart23]

Hi everyone !! I’m so sorry I haven’t written anything in a while🥲🙏 I honestly forgot about it😭 so I’ve come back w some short cyno and haitham smut I hope y’all enjoy 🤭

Cyno and al haitham x Fem! Reader pt 1

Minors don’t interact!! 18+ or do idc ik y’all read stuff like this 🥲

Yn is in a poly relationship with the both of them there’s no cheating🥲🙏

Ah alas having the general mahamantra as your lover also has its own problems don’t they?🥲

Cyno is really hard to read like really really really hard to read. Cyno rarely shows emotions and even if he does it’s confusing. You sometimes try to figure out what exactly the general is thinking about but alas you really can’t figure out what goes on in that head of his

One day nilou invites all of you to a dance party in a club nearby and since you were excited you decided to go. Cyno decided to go too to keep you safe. The reason why you were going was not because you wanted to dance but because you wanted to make your lover jealous like really jealous and you knew just the person to make him jealous with

Alhaitham

Alhaitham and you were in a relationship as well

It was a poly relationship with you being a very lucky girl 🥹

However their rivalry still knew no bounds you thought it would bring them closer but it made them more torn apart

As soon as the party began you rushed to al haithams side leaving cyno irritated

“ Haitham!!!! It’s so good to see you you look really nice today ☺️”

“Why thank you y/n you look quite stunning as well”

Anger boiled towards cyno as he views you from afar

Noticing his expression you couldn’t help but add more fire to the wound

“Cyno!! Come dance with me or should I ask haitham instead heh😌”

You knew this would file your lover up

“Oh you know how to make a man jealous don’t you my darling?well I’ll do more than just dance with you I’ll make you scream my name until you can’t think straight”

With that he took you to the bathroom swiftly

“Cyno! Wait not here!! M sorry I won’t do that again!”

“Too late amore”

He gracefully removed your minidress and underwear and left you completely naked. The cold air made your nipples harden as cyno looked at you with lust

“Now you don’t get to see such beauty everyday”

He inserted one of his fingers in your cunt.

“Such a slut you are already this wet for my finger?my my yn if anyone saw you like this they’d be shocked”

You tried to stifle your moans

“Mm cyno not here please stop I”

“You say no darling but your cunt here says more.what did I tell you? I’ll make you scream until you can’t scream anymore”

He inserted another finger in your cunt and attached his mouth to your nipples sucking them wildly. You tried to hide your moans but it just felt so so good.

“Cmon darling I wanna hear you sing”

“Cyno…please don’t stop!”

Your eyes rolled back as you came to your climax and came on his fingers leaving a loud moan

“My my I sure hope someone doesn’t hear that”

But someone did..

Alhaithams pov :

I was with yn not long ago and now her and that stupid general both have disappeared.

It doesn’t take a genius to realise what they’re up to and hearing a moan from the bathroom confirmed it.

I burst into the bathroom only to see yn panting while cyno fucking her like a wild animal.

“Tch leave us alone you good for nothing scholar”

I smirked as I saw yn my cock hardening

“ I think it’s my turn to have her now she looks miserable”

“HOW DARE YOU” cyno screamed

“Cyno… let him I wanna feel him too” yn murmured her eyes filled with lust

It was obvious this general had fucked her dumb and she couldn’t comprehend what was going on

“Tch fine…you can take her for the night”

I smiles as I took my lover from him and covered her up

“Let’s continue this at my place” I smiled as she nodded eagerly this was gonna be fun.

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To be continued

NOTE:

Part two will consist of al haitham and yn so stay tuned 🤭