#sometimes even the closest friends can part ways then we need to approach relationships & marriage with the same acceptance.

[furby-organist]

// A streamer (who is married) made the point that, while talking to a trad redpill type who was arguing that non-traditional relationships don't work, that "relationships on average don't work." Like, all relationships. And he's right. Alexa agrees.

The streamer said that, ignoring that 50% of marriages end in divorce, relationships don't work. If a relationship ends in a breakup, it didn't work, and if you're not married, then technically, it hasn't worked yet. And it doesn't mean that relationships aren't worthwhile experiences. Alexa agrees with this! Especially at this point in his life, he's very selective about his relationships and they're very worthwhile to him! He just knows that empirically, on average, they don't work in the long run. That's ok!

One great thing about humanity is that previous generations are able to pass on knowledge to future generations, and we have the information to show that relationships fail more than they succeed. So if you have all that information, and you still think you're so special that your relationship is 100% failsafe until one of you dies, and you don't have a contingency plan? He thinks you're dumb. Lol.

[astrolovecosmos]

Uranus in the Houses: Individualism

Uranus in the 1st: I’m sure you’d imagine quite the quirky and interesting person with this placement. While this certainly can be true, there is something about questioning identity. Uranus indicates a “higher mind”, innovation, moments of discovery. Identity is not fluid, not easily lost, and not obscure BUT they may fall into re-discovering themselves over and over again. Individuality is tightly connected to expression and intellect somehow. Seeking change in how they represent themselves may be something they crave or do naturally. There is something special about exploring all facets of the self. 

Uranus in the 2nd: Individuality in how they view self-worth or approach security may manifest. Being inventive and original in practical, sensual, physical ways is another way to look at this placement. “Unique ways to make money” is the trademark of this position but there is much more to this house than money and possessions. Uranus in this House may show their uniqueness in how they spend money or what they buy but they also show their individuality through the physical realm and this can mean many things. This is one to own a “conversation starter” whether it is in their fashion choices or home decor. Having an unconventional approach to what a society deems as “practical” may happen. There is something special about physically living, valuing, and really existing on a different level. 

Uranus in the 3rd: “Eccentric communicator” is the label many put on this placement. So yes, individuality is certainly seen in how they crack jokes, spur up debates, and bring up odd, political, or even taboo subjects. Here we see that “higher mind” showing social intuition and observation. They approach the realm of socialization, learning, and expressing differently. They are very eager to learn about others and about the world around them. The way they learn could show individuality and uniqueness. In their earlier years they may have stood out a lot among peers, especially in a classroom setting. There is something special about living in the realm of ideas and sharing for them. 

Uranus in the 4th: Unconventional family life or domestic life can pop up with this placement. In terms of individuality this comes from freedom to be themselves apart from a family or tight community. Deep-seeded Influence upon them, comfort, attachments, and roots - these things shape them into a sculpture different than others with their same upbringing. This doesn’t just mean the black sheep in the family, this can mean the odd one out in a school, church, or organization. Being “different” doesn’t always mean being an outcast or something negative. With the 4th being a house about safety and comfort, they may find their individuality or express it best when being disruptive towards that comfort/security. There is something special about constantly stepping out of their comfort zone. 

Uranus in the 5th: That individuality shines through the bright 5th House in expression and creativity. Unique fashion sense ✓, has combined quirkiness with flair ✓, unforgettable party goer ✓, original artist  ✓. Don’t forget being an “individualist” when it comes to romance. Uranus at times can make someone with this position highly independent and doesn’t want to be in any relationship that threatens their individuality or freedom. Uranus isn’t necessarily known for self-focus but it can be known for separation and a focus on what makes you, you. With that focus comes a theme of rushing into relationships with like-minded people but then still trying hard to protect their differences and freedom to express. There can be a tug-of-war in love. Really individuality sometimes shows the most or is solidified through how they are different from their lovers yet still find common ground. It shows through their art. It shows through their speeches. It shows through their big ideas. It shows through their celebrations. There is something special about never losing yourself while still connecting with another. 

Uranus in the 6th: Don’t sleep on this placement! Sure we could talk about unconventional healing and maybe being a healer is one way they stand out. Uncommon illnesses and accidents are tied to this but let’s talk about other areas of the 6th. Other environments that their uniqueness can show and breathe in. Here is someone who stands out in their everyday routine, in their work space, and in their habits. They can be innovative and original, breaking away from the normal humdrum of everyday life. Uranus in the 6th can be a strength for teamwork and altruism. They know how to change a negative or toxic environment or routine into something liberating. They may serve others by helping them break free, start anew, or giving them the knowledge they need to better their situation. Despite Uranus sometimes being looked at as a planet about disruption, chaos, “being apart” - in this house Uranus intelligently approaches inefficiency, which many times could be due to a lack of cooperation or understanding. There’s something special about how they can bring people together but also push them apart, whichever equals an improvement. 

Uranus in the 7th: Independence can be both a gift and a struggle in love for this individual. Sacrificing freedom and individuality will never, ever happen. On the surface many have pinned this placement as one showing commitment issues. But let’s look at this as individuality in how we connect with others on a whole. Throw out gender roles, societal expectations for marriage or even friendship, rework master and apprentice. Individuality comes in how they treat others. Their expectations and “roles” in their relationships. An enemy? A rival? They likely don’t think of them how you may typically think of an “enemy”. Respect, equality, and give and take are all approached in a way that allows them to not be bound by how you perceive them and even how you care for them. There is something special about their harmony, their connections, their vibrations with others. 

Uranus in the 8th: Individuality is a precious thing shared with others. There is a desire for absolute acceptance and understanding in their closest relationships or within intimacy. Sharing the mind may make them feel more vulnerable than sharing anything else. A great desire to understand the taboo, the occult, the mysterious, metaphysics, life and death exist here. Their individuality can be kept in a darker place only to be shared with a few. On some level this could make someone seem a conformist, basic, etc. But don’t confuse this with the secrets and hidden attributes of the 12th House. Sometimes this can be more literal in that what makes them special is a darkness in their past. How they deal with pain or negativity can stand out. Also the taboo or occult may be an area they feel most comfortable in expressing their true self. Sometimes  throw out the average cabbage picture - this may also be the occultist in your community, not afraid to show their spell books or rave about their love for true crime documentaries and podcasts (which honestly isn’t that unusual but I’m trying to give you a visual the best I can). The 8th House with its dark and heavy reputation, I don’t want anyone thinking the darkness in their life is the only thing that makes them “special”. Rather that trauma could have been uncommon. The way they understand the darkness and unpredictability of the world is more of the emphasis I want to make. 

Uranus in the 9th: They stand out in their beliefs, morals, or possibly education. Truth and lies play a role in what makes them “unique”. There could be a tendency of bolstering up their individuality, possibly at a young age or when feeling insecure. When secure, when fulfilled, when they have an open mind and are actively learning they show their uniqueness, especially the uniqueness in what they believe in truthfully, openly, proudly. Uranus drives this individual to make a statement in their beliefs or non-beliefs even. This can be presented in so many positive or negative ways. Finding meaning in one’s life is also part of this house. They may stand out the most in the lengths they go to find meaning. From the tamer backpacking across Europe to find themselves, to exploring different religions, to more erratic actions and choices of completely abandoning a long-standing career for something very different or even giving up everything they own to help others may happen. There is something special in how they see a different way to think, believe, and in a way be. 

Uranus in the 10th: We can’t ignore that they are going to seem “different” or “special” somehow in the public sphere. Before we talk about fame, know there is a lot about connecting with and belonging to society with this placement. The way they think about or approach society could be unique. The way they fit into society can be unconventional as well. They pay attention to the collective, can tap into it. That intellectual side of the planet can drive them to analyze and understand the collective, law, society, social issues. I would say that standing out in your career or having your individualism show here is a prominent manifestation, especially in parts of the world where career are everything to a society. There’s something special about standing out in the crowd, in the boardroom, in the industry.

Uranus in the 11th: This placement is known to hang around rebels and outliers. This is part of their individuality, befriending those on the fringe of society or the norm. The way they fit into groups and organizations is unique. They may stand out as a leader in a club or friend group. They may be the glue among friends too. The way they view fellowship and approach it is likely unconventional. When it comes to the collective, much like the 10th house position they too can tap into it. The 10th sees trends in what society values and within laws and reputation while the 11th taps into social trends, new ideas, sees where society is headed on a larger scale or with the big picture. They can have goals that are on a different wavelength than most. They dream big and originally. This house can be about extending the self to others. With Uranus we can see someone who does this in an humanitarian way, highly social way, or maybe  intellectually focused way. There is something special about giving and taking from the group. 

Uranus in the 12th: Known for hidden individuality that wants to bubble to the surface. “Associated with past revolution and upheaval” according to Judy Hall. Individuality is shown best when they have confidence and pride in their uniqueness. It is also shown best when they rebel against the norm. Here can be a powerful position for the “rebel”, “anarchist”, or “innovator”. Their individuality can also shine through by helping others in a large way, through humanitarian deeds. Eccentricities will be both their weakness and strength. At times the emotional heaviness of the house can make them feel unstable and insecure about their differences, other times they can tap into their inner genius, trendsetter, and visionary. There is something special about just being different. 

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Kindred Spirit (Taehyung X You) (ONESHOT)

A/N: The full version of the Taehyung fanfic, but I changed it a little from the preview I posted. Hope its okay 😘 also, im not sure whats an "er of their marriage" means exactly? But i take it their life after marriage? Ill make an epilogue of that soon! 😘

"Ive been an idol for years Y/N and you have never once come to see me perform? Dont you know people would die for all the free passes and tickets I left for you?!" Her bestfriend grumbles, hands crossed over his chest, his pout over an inch long.

Y/N laughs.

"Thats why I said you should give it to someone else thats actually have time to go watch you,"

"But you are my best friend. BESTFRIEND Y/N. How is is possible you never once saw me perform? And you dont even know any of my bandmates? How is that possible??" Yoongi keeps on grumbling in disbelief.

"Well.. Min Yoongi. I can give you an answer. Because I'm busy with real life okay. You know my appa wants me to take over soon. You know I dont do it on purpose right?" Y/N pouts, hoping if shes cute enough, or looks guilty enough Yoongi would actually forgive her.

"Nope. Your puppy face wont cut it this time,"

Damn.

"You are coming. And if I dont see you cheering your ass off tomorrow night, front row, our friendship is over. Over I say!"

And thats is why Y/N is running and pushing through the excited crowd of boys and girls in the stadium, trying to find her section. She made it! She almost didnt, but almost didnt matter. Shes here now. All dressed in her work clothes, with what is supposed to be called an Army Bomb in her hand,  something that her secretary shoved in her bag earlier, saying its a must have for an Army. She dont even know what an Army is!

As the show starts, Y/N jumps to the music, smiling proudly everytime Yoongi make an appearance. She has heard him rapped before, but she never seen him this charismatic. Its as if the man on stage is not even the dorky Yoongi she has known for years. And his band members... wow. All so talented, all so good looking.

As the concert ended, Y/N makes her way backstage, flashing the pass Yoongi gave her and make her way through series of dressing room, trying to find the one where the boys are in.

"Must be this one," she followed the door that has the most sound and lights to find the boys chatting, congratulating each other. "Uh, Yoongi?" Y/N calls out softly, feeling awkward. Is she even supposed to be here?

"Oh you are here. God, cant believe you actually made it!" Yoongi rushed over and gave her a tight hug. "Wait, I'll introduce you to the others, but I need to change my pants first. Wait here, dont move!" Before she could say anything, Yoongi has already ran off.

"Uh.. okay. Ill stay here I guess," she moved herself timidly to a corner and stands awkwardly, hoping no one would notice her. But wishes dont always come true.

"Hey, uh..." a guy, a very handsome guy, who Y/N recognizes as one of Yoongi's band members, but cant be sure who, approached her.

"Uh.. yes? A-am I not supposed to be here? Im sorry. Im just waiting for Y-"

"Oh, no. I just want to ask you. Wheres the bathroom?"

"Huh?" Y/N looks at the guy curiously. Is he for real? He had a three day back to back concert here and today is the third day. And he doesnt know where the bathroom is? And he is asking... her? Y/N laughs before answering. So weird.

"Uh.. I-"

Smack.

"You know very well where the bathroom is you idiot. What are you talking about?" Yoongi who just came back smacked the guy's head.

"Ouchhh, hyunggg," he pouted, rubbing his head.

"Serves you right. Thats the worse and most cringy pick up line ever!"

"Hyunggggg, shut upppp," the guy eyed Y/N shyly and glares at his hyung and turn his attention back on her. "S-sorry. I just wanted to talk to you but I dont want to scare you off," he grins sheepishly.

"Oh, its okay. Im not a stalker. I'm here because Yoongs invited me. I'm Y/N," she hands out her hand for a handshake. "And no, I dont know where the bathroom is," she giggles.

Yoongi rolls his eye and smacks his forehead at the lame attempt of flirting the younger man is doing.

"Hi Y/N. I'm Taehyung," he grips her hand and shakes it. "Kim Taehyung. And I'm the guy you will be having coffee with tonight," he grins.

/////

"Okay, so do you have a boyfriend?"

"No appa, I dont," Y/N sighs, frustrated.

"Then uh.... do you not like men? I mean, Im okay with that sweetheart, as long as you are happy..."

Y/N smile a little. Her appa is the most adorable man ever existed.

"Appa, no!" She giggles.

"Okay, okay. Im just asking. You know I will support you always princess," her appa smile and she can see a small sigh of relieve. "Then what is it sweetheart? Why are you so against this marriage with Hyun Dae?"

"Well, for one, I think arranged marriage is so old school appa," she pouts. "We are not living in the 60s or 20s or whatever year you and eomma are from,"

"How old do you think we are? The 20s?!" Her appa laughs. "Arranged marriage is not so bad you know,"

"Its not bad at all. I actually found the love of my life," her eomma gets up from the couch and link arms with her husband. "Although he is quite annoying at first," she laughs. Y/N's appa leans and kiss the top of her mothers head.

"Its the best decision ever," he smiles.

Y/N roll her eyes. It is well known between their family, friends and community that her parents are as in love as ever. They were from two wealthy family, arranged to be married, and lucky for them, they were each other soulmates.

"Appa, eomma, just because you two are lucky doesnt mean everyone is,"

"But sweetheart, Hyun Dae is everything a man can be. Hes very kind, smart, hes taking over his appa's business, he loves animals, arts, kids. Everything that you like. And plus, you two are quite close too. Why are you so against it?"

Y/N sighs.

"I dont know. Maybe a little part of me wants that traditional love story you know? To fall madly in love with someone and then get married?" She sighs and lays her head on her elbow. Her parents look at each other before her eomma approached her slowly, stroking her hair slowly.

"Sweetheart... are you in love with someone?"

"Well..." Y/N scratched her neck, avoiding their intrusive eyes. Her lips immediately curl into a small smile as an image immediately pops inside her head. Boxy smile, deep voice, always happy, positive outlook on everything. The one guy who made her deeply fall in love.

"Oh my dear, who is it? Why didnt you tell us?" Her eomma smile widely, clapping her hand in excitement.

"Well.. its uh.. because I dont know if he feels the same way..."

"Have you told him yet? Whoever this lucky person is?" Her appa take a step closer to her, smiling. His princess' happiness is everything to him.

"N-no. Not yet. I dont know. Should I?"

"You should sweetheart. Or how else would he know? And he most definitely feels the same way,"

"Do you think so appa?"

"I know so," he smiles. "Who in the world wouldnt fall in love with you sweetheart?"

Y/N smiles. Her parents are the best.

"Then I'll tell him. I'll tell him tomorrow,"

/////

"I like you Taehyung,"

A few moments past without either one saying anything. The air that pricks her skins feels colder. But nothing is colder that Taehyung's stare that is emotionless in front of her right now.

"Uh.. what? I heard you wrong I think," he laughs awkwardly.

"I... like you Taehyung,"

"Well, I like you too. Of course. You are one of my closest friends," Taehyung smiles. Y/N feels her heart suffocating but still puts on a brave face. Maybe he dont understand what she meant. Taehyung can be oblivious sometimes.

"I like you Taehyung," Y/N says it much clearer this time. "I.. love you. I love you Kim Taehyung. Like for real,"

"Listen..," he sighs after a few moment of silence. "I'm really flattered that you uh.. have feelings for me. And I know we have developed some degree of friendship, but... you thats what you are... just a friend," he looks at her with his deep gaze. "Yoongi's hyung friend to be exact,"

"Yoongi's friend?" Y/N looks at him, eyes filled with confusion. "After all this time. Is that all I am to you Tae? Your hyung's friend?"

"You know what I mean Y/N. You know how we met-"

"Yeah, I know how we met Tae.. but I though after all these time and moments we had..."

"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"

Y/N felt like Taehyung just stabbed hee heart a million times. What does he mean that shes just.. her? Whats so wrong about being her?

"I enjoy our friendship, our interaction Y/N, but no more than that. And I am sorry to say that I am in a relationship. We havent gone public yet, but we are planning to, by this week,"

"I-in a relationship? With who Tae? A-and you didnt even bother to tell me? After all the time we spent together?" Y/N feels like screaming, but she knows she has no right to do so. All she can do is hold in her tears that can easily burst at any time.

"I think you know her," he smiles. Oblivious to the pain that Y/N is feeling.  "Oraia. The new idol,"

"Oraia?" Oh Y/N knows the girl perfectly well. Pretty, fashionable, great at singing, dancing. Any guy would kill to have her. Including Taehyung it seems.

"I-I have to know Tae. W-why her? H-how?" Y/N managed to choked out her question.

"Oraia is the perfect girl for me," Taehyung smile at the thoughts of her, proving how in love he is, making Y/N's heart breaks even more. "An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

"You are not a worldstar when I met you. You are not that like this when I met you," Y/N said softly, holding in tears. "We are not that much different from each other Tae,"

Taehyung gave a sad smile, no, a pity smile, before standing up, ready to leave.

"You can think whatever you want Y/N. But if you ever think we can be together..." he sighs and looks at her and gave her another pity smile. "If only things were different. In another world, maybe we would have been together.Goodbye Y/N,"

/////

Y/N closes her eyes, tears rolling down both her cheeks, already mixed together with the pouring rain as she walks home. Maybe the rain will wash away her feelings for Taehyung. Her stupid feelings for Taehyung. Different world? Taehyung's world is what she wanted to avoid her whole life. Glitz, glamour, fame, riches... Y/N cries out as loud as her heart wanted, thankful no one can hear her in the heavy rain. Shes just not enough for him. Thats the real reason. And she will never be for Kim Taehyung.

Days passed and Y/N has been locked up in her room ever since that disasterous day. Her parents have given up trying to find out what happen and finally left her alone.

And this week is finally the week Y/N dread the most. All the entertainment news, magazines, gossip websites are buzzing with the announcement that has just been made all week.

Y/N looks at the glossy pictures of the scattered tabloids in front of her again. The intimate pictures getting blurry as her eyes gets wetter. Taehyung's voice replayed in her brain like a broken record.

"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"

"An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

With a deep breath, she crumples the pages that reflects the beautiful relationship that is Taehyung and Oraia, wipe her eyes and walked downstairs to where her parents are drinking tea, enjoying their evening in their luxurious lounge.

"Oh Y/N. You are finally out. How are you feeling honey? Want to join us sweetheart?" Her mother looked up from the magazine shes reading and smile, her father the same, offering her a seat besides them.

"N-no. Thanks though. And I feel better," she gave a small smile. "Eomma, appa, I have something to tell you guys," she said, heart beating fast.

"What is it honey?"

"Appa, eomma, I have thought it through. I agree to your proposal. I agree with the arranged marriage to Hyun Dae,"

Her parents looks at each other, surprised.

"Sweetheart, are you sure? You dont have to rush into this. You should take your time and think i-"

"No appa. I am sure this time," she gave a smile, hoping it would convince them. "I want to marry Hyun Dae. I think he and I will make a very happy marriage,"

"W-well.." her eomma looks unsure. "Okay.. then,"

"If you are sure sweetheart. Then we will start setting it up," her appa stood up and hugs her. "Just know that we both love you so much and want nothing but your happiness,"

Y/N nods slowly, tears brimming in her eyes, softly she whispers,

"Me too appa, me too..,"

/////

Tupp. Tupp.

Y/N looks over the sliding door that opens up to her huge balcony. What is that sound? Panicking, she grab the first thing she can reach, a hairbrush, and walk slowly to the glass sliding door.

Tupp. Tupp.

The sound continue. Taking a deep breath she bravely slides open the door.

"Ouchhh," she rubs her head. "What the hell?" She looks around to find what hit her. "A pebble?"

"Oh no, did I hit you?" A voice called out. Y/N looks over the balcony.

"Hyun Dae? What are you doing here? Its 2am!"

"I, uh.. I want to talk to you," he grins.

"Theres this thing call a telephone you know? Or a front door? Havent use one of those?" She glares and Hyun Dae laughs.

"Sorry. I just thought this Romeo and Juliet shit is romantic you know?" He laughs and Y/N rolls her eyes. "Can you come down? Lets take a walk in your garden,"

"Come down from here? Like Rapunzel?!"

Hyun Dae laughs. "Oh my god, how are you so adorable? Of course not! Use the front door silly,"

Y/N giggles. "Okay. Be right there,"

A few minutes later, they were strolling in Y/N's family flower garden, inhaling the fresh night air.

"So? What is it you want to talk about that cant wait until daylight?"

"Well," Hyun Dae stop walking and pull her hand, sitting her down on the stone bench. "I just want to do it properly and formally," he smiles and kneels down in front of her, holding her hand.

Y/N looks at him, both nervous and confused.

"Y/N, you dont know how truly happy, grateful, excited, speechless, ecstatic I am that you agreed to marry me. I have been in love with you since forever," he smiles and blush slightly. "And I know this is just an arranged marriage to you, and you dont love me. But right here, right now, I promise you, that I will make you the happiest girl alive, that I will love you despite everything and anything, and everything you wish for princess, is my command,"

Y/N feels her heart beats faster.

"L/N Y/N, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man ever lived?"

Without a doubt, without a single second of hesitation, she nodded.

"Yes, yes, definitely yes,"

/////

"You look distracted. Whats wrong?" Yoongi glance at Taehyung whos just staring blankly at his mirror as they are changing and cleaning up their makeup.

"Uh... nothing hyung," Taehyung quickly pretends to clean up his things.

"Its not nothing. You have been distracted for a few weeks now. I didnt want to say anything because I thought you would snap out of it but its just getting worse,"

"Its really nothing hyung!" Taehyung snaps and plop down on his chair, sighing. Yoongi shrugs and decide to give him some space. "Err.. hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Why..uh... why doesnt Y/N come over to our shows anymore?" Taehyung finally open up his mouth to ask. Since that first time they met, she has always been around, cheering for them, right at the front row. But after her confession, he didnt see her anymore. Yeah, he felt bad about what he said and he tried calling, texting, video calling.. but nothing. Shes totally ignoring him. He wanted to meet her at her house, or her work place, until he realized he didnt know where to go. In fact, he didnt know anything about her. All the time they hung out, he only always talk about him. His life, his problems. Him. As if its that interesting. He sighs again.

Yoongi side eyed him.

"Is that what disturbing you? Y/N?"

"N-no. Im just curious,"

"Oh, okay then. Then the answer is, I dont want to tell you," Yoongi picks up his stuff and walk off.

Of course. Of course his hyung knows. Yoongi and Y/N are best friends afterall. Taehyung sighs. Well, maybe he deserves this. But still... he doesnt want to admit it to anybody, even himself, but deep down, he miss her. Really miss her.

/////

"Okay guys, lets go. We need to get ready," Namjoom clap his hands as a way to make his members make their way to the dressing room. Its awards season finally, and they need to get ready for their stage. Taehyung makes his way with his hyung to the back of the stage, wishing for all this to be over soon. He really wants to just rest his head.

As he was putting on the final touches he turns to the door and saw Y/N standing there, all dressed in a beautiful gown, fit for an award show. His first thought is, wow, and the second is that his eyes are playing tricks on him. But as Y/N makes her way inside and hugs Yoongi, he knows this is  reality. Taehyung smiles. He cant help it. Did Yoongi told her about what he said a few days back and now shes here to see him?

Taehyung walks over the moment he gets the chance to get her alone.

"Hey," Taehyung smiles.

"Um.. hey," Y/N smiles awkwardly.

"So, why are you here? You miss me or something? Or are you stalking me?" He laughs.

"No, I'm actually h-"

"Hey baby, there you are. The crew said you went in first," A handsome guy, and obviously a chaebol makes his way to them, giving Y/N a kiss on the cheek and hugging her waist.

"Hi babe," she smiles. "Yeah, I went in to see Yoongi. Its time you meet my mysterious bestie,"

Taehyung was silenced, eyeing the man up and down. Baby? Cheek kissing? Waist hugging? Who is this guy?

"Oh is this Yoongi?" He smiles and held out a hand. Taehyung took it reluctantly.

"Oh no no. This is Kim Taehyung. Hes uh... Yoongi's band member,"

Yoongi's band member? Thats all he is??

"Oh okay. Hi, I'm Hyun Dae," he smiles and shakes Taehyung's hand before hugging Y/N's waist again. Taehyung felt like pulling off his arm, and he dont know why he felt that way.

"Lets go meet Yoongi," Y/N smiles and bows to him and move over to Yoongi, leaving Taehyung still staring at them. Once Yoongi and Hyun Dae are caught up in a conversation, Taehyung immediatly grab Y/N by the elbow and drag her to the side.

"Ouchh. What the hell Tae?!"

"Are you seriously this petty?" Taehyung scoffs.

"Petty?? What are you even talking about?"

"Fine, I rejected you. So now you are bringing this... this... stuck up someone here for what? To show me that you have moved on? To make me jealous?" Taehyung scoffs again. "As if,"

"What?!" Y/N looks at him in disbelief. "God Taehyung, you are so full of yourself! Hes not stuck up! And I'm not here for you!"

"Yeah right," Taehyung smile sarcastically. "So, hyung told you I asked and the next show you brought a man over? Please Y/N, have some pride,"

"What are you even talking about? Yoongs never talked about you. At all! Im here becaus-"

"Oh Taehyung, you have already met," his manager interrupted the conversation and bows to Y/N as Hyun Dae join her side. "Okay guys, gather round. I think all of you must already know about The Empire. As you know, their company owns and organized all show events in Korea and is one of the biggest in the music industry, among others. The president cant make it, so his daughter is here instead. And she and her fiancee just wants to meet all the artists her tonight to express their gratitude,"

Y/N and Hyun Dae bows and smiles to everyone as Taehyung stands frozen in place, the only thing he can hear is 'fiance'. Y/N is... engaged?

And... shes an heir?

"You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

Yeah, they are worlds apart. He was right. But the truth is, Taehyung is the one whos way beneath her.

/////

"Lets go, lets go peopleeee," Namjoon clapped his hands a sign for them to get moving. Taehyung and the rest of the members climbed up their black van, still yawning from having to wake up early in the morning. They are off to another country for a month for their variety show shoot. A special content, the management said. Something to do with their new sponsors. Taehyung never really pay attention to all the boring details, all he knows is, he will do what he is asked to do, no question asked.

But as they land and making their way out from their private plane, Taehyung, still half asleep, need to take a double take when he saw Y/N and her fiance at the arrivals, standing atound with the crew, their luggage all around them.

"H-hyung?" He nervously tapped Yoongi's shoulder.

"What?" Yoongi grumbled, still cranky from being awaken from his beauty sleep on the plane.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me or is that uh... Y/N?" Taehyung really wished he has gone crazy. Thats he is seeing things. That Yoongi will look at him funny and tell him theres no Y/N. And Yoongi did look at him funny, but his answer is totally not what hes expecting.

"Dont you know? Her father's company is our new sponsor for the show and they are here to monitor the shoot,"

Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He dont know why the news startled him. It shouldnt be affecting him at all. Right? Even he dont understand what he is feeling as he looked over to Y/N and Hyun Dae smiling at each other. Anger? Sadness? Happy? He cant be sure. But one thing he knows for sure, its going to be one hell of a month.

/////

"So... you arent going to tell me that you are engaged?" Taehyung jogged lightly, to catch up with Y/N whom he saw is taking a morning walk from his hotel roon window. They have free schedule for the first day and what luck, the first thing he saw this morning is Y/N, alone. Without that stupid chaebol.

"Oh, uh hi Taehyung," Y/N, startled at his presence, give a small smile and a polite bow.

"Hi Y/N," he smile. Honestly, he missed her. Well, they were pretty close before. As friends. Yes, of course as friends and nothing more! Taehyung reminded himself. "But seriously, you are never going to tell me you are engaged?"

"Do I have to?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm your friend or yoongis friend or whatever, you know? And I dont think you be interested to know anyway," she picked up her pace but Taehyung managed to catch up.

"What do you mean?! Of course I wanna know! And of course we are friends! And you didnt think to tell me that you father own half of Korea's music industry?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, you never ask. And I'm not one to go around telling people my family history Tae," she shrugged. "Afterall, why would a worldstar want to know about someone who is from a different world than him, right?"

Okay, he deserved that.

"Okay, Y/N, look," he pull her hand, stopping her from walking. "I am sorry about what I said that day. I dont know what I was thinking. I was startled by your confession. To be honest, the months I spent without seeing you at all, well... I missed you. I miss you, okay?"

Y/N sighed. Why is he doing this to her? Her heart is still recovering. Still trying to erased every love she felt for him.

"We are going to spend a whole month working together. Stuck in a small island. Why dont we be friends again? Hmm?" He made his famous puppy eyes, blinking his eyes rapidly, lips pouting. "Pleaaaase? Taetae is sorrryy,"

Y/N tried to keep a sttaight face but burst out laughing. She can never say no to that face.

"Fine Tae. You know I cant resist that stupid face," she laughs.

"So, friends?" Taehyung held out a hand and Y/N shakes it.

"Of course, friends,"

As he shakes her hand, smiling ear to ear, Taehyung realized, he had never felt this happy, and it scared him.

/////

They might have rekindled their friendship, but Taehyung couldnt get even 10 minutes alone with her without being disturbed by Yoongi or Hyun Dae, and its pissing him off. Worse, he have to watch all the romantic moments between the two love birds, and trust him, Hyun Dae is really not afraid to show his affection, its making him wants to throw up.

Suprising Y/N with flowers on set, setting up a special candle light dinner when the whole crew is eating, suddenly gets on stage in the middle of dinner and sing her a song. And that motherfucker can even play a guitar and he look damn good playing it too. Taehyung swore all the girls there are swooning over him. But what he hates most is all the admiring whispers.

"Y/N is so lucky"

"Hyun Dae is the perfect guy"

"I wish I was Y/N"

Urghhh. Annoying.

It also doesnt help that his relationship with Oraia has gone stale. Yeah, they text everyday, call each other every night. But nothing she says interest him. Taehyung mostly tune out whatever shes saying during their phone calls, eyes focusing on what Y/N is doing. The way she laughs when she talks to someone, her clusmy ways of doing things, her passion while working. All that is more interesting to him than his own girlfriend. His supppsedly perfect, beautiful, girlfriend.

It must be the island. He hasnt seen Oraia for almost a month now, and hes stuck here for all that time. Of course it will put a strain on his relationship. Yes, that must be it.

But as his heart bubbles with jealousy as he watches Y/N and Hyun Dae running around the beach, Hyun Dae catching Y/N by the waist and lift her up to kiss her, Taehyung knows for sure, that it is definitely not it.

/////

Taehyung tossed and turned for hours and after eventually still failing to fall asleep, he decide to take a walk by the beach. The moon is out and the breeze is welcoming. Its a good night to walk and collect his thoughts.

As he walked slowly along the beach, the cool air blowing his hair, he saw a figure sitting alone by the beach, eyes closed, enjoying the midnight breeze. Taehyung immediately smile.

Y/N.

"Hey," he approached her slowly and smile.

"Oh, Tae. Hi," she smiled back. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I cant sleep. What about you? Isnt it dangerous for a pretty girl to be alone so late at night?" He smile.

Y/N laughs.

"Its a private island Tae. I think its kinda safe. And you know I usually cant sleep and the sound of the ocean calms me down,"

Taehyung does know that. Back to the days when they use to spend so much time together, they always sit by the beach and talked. Well, usually, he will be the one who do the talking, because all he cares about is himself. And his problems. And Y/N always listen. To all his weird ramblings, his peculiar thoughts that people usually laugh at. Even Oraia sometimes makes fun of him. But Y/N listen to them all. Understand him even. Why didnt he realized that before?

"Well... can I join you?"

"Of course. Have a seat," she patted down the spot besides her and Taehyung makes himself comfortable. They talked and talked, laughter filled up the night air and Taehyung cant seem to care about anything else other than that moment.

"Oh god, my tummy is hurting from laughing so much," Y/N said, still giggling from what Taehyung said. "I forgot how funny and weird you are Taetaeee,"

Taehyung smile and looked at her, staring deeply at her laughing face.

"Its nice,"

"What is?" Y/N who has stopped laughing, asked him, confused.

"Hearing you call me Taetae again," he smile, making Y/N blushed.

"W-well, that is your name,"

"Yeah, yeah. It is," Taehyung smile, still staring at her. "Y/N? Are you happy?"

"Right now? Yeah I am. We have been laughing for hours Tae. Of course Im happy. Whats wrong with you?" Y/N giggles, trying to toned down the awkwardness shes starting to feel.

"No. I mean, are you happy? Like really happy? With Hyun Dae? Does he makes you happy?"

"H-hyun Dae?" Y/N was taken aback from the sudden question. "Uhh, of course I am, hes my fiance, of course he makes me happy Tae,"

"Really? Then why did you stutter?" Taehyung still looks at her, straight into her eyes with his sharp gaze.

"I- I did not stutter! Whats wrong with you Tae? You are being weird. But not normal weird," Y/N starts to dust off the sand off her, preparing to get up. "Its getting late. We should go in,"

Taehyung grab her hands, standing up with her.

"Do you love him? Do you love Hyun Dae?"

"Why are you asking me that Tae? You are being weird!" Y/N tries to shake off his grip but he held on tighter.

"Answer the question Y/N. Do you love him?"

"Hyun Dae is amazing! He cares for me. He loves me. He knows what I like, sweet, romantic, p-"

"But do you love him?"

"I-I," Y/N stuttered. "I dont need to answer that!" Y/N tries to pull her hand again but to no avail.

"You cant answer it because you dont love him. And you cant lie to me," Taehyung smile.

"You are crazy. Let my hand go Tae," Y/N insisted. "It has nothing to do with you!"

"But it does Y/N. It does, because you dont love him. Because you love me," Taehyung state matter of factly. "You always did and you always will Y/N,"

Y/N was speechless, shocked, surprised, that Taehyung would bring it up again. Tears starts to sting her eyes. She has never felt more hummiliated. Is Taehyung making fun of her? Of her feelings? She thought they were friends again. Why is he doing this to her?

"Just let me go!"

"I cant, and I wont,"

"Why?!" Y/N is crying now. She dont understand why Taehyung is being this way. "To hummiliate me even more? To make fun of my feelings for you?"

"What? No!" Taehyung cant believe Y/N would think of him to be that cruel. But maybe he deserved it. "Because I love you Y/N!" Taehyung pull her hands, making her fall into his arms and he immediately cup her face and captured her lips with hers. The kiss has never felt more electricfying. Taehyung felt goosebump all over his body, he hears fireworks went off everywhere. And right at that moment, he knows that hes in love.

But the moment only last for a split second when Y/N, tears already spilled down her cheeks pushed him away hard and slapped him across the face.

"Get away from me Kim Taehyung!"

Was the last word she screamed out before she ran away into the darkness.

/////

Taehyung almost went crazy trying to finish the rest of the shooting. After that fateful night, Y/N took the earliest flight home the next morning, leaving Taehyung with no way to contact her at all. No reply to his texts or his calls and he cant even get away from his stupid schedule to find her at home. He was lost.

Its the very first time in his life that he has seen things so clearly. He is in love with Y/N. And she left him being so lost.

It also doesnt help that after Taehyung told Oraia that he wants to break up, his crazy ex girlfriend bombared his calls, his texts, his friends, even his manager with texts begging to take her back. She even went so far as to include the media, giving sad interviews, crying her eyes out. Taehyung wondered how he didnt notice how crazy Oraia is. Maybe its true what they said, love is blind. But what they had isnt love. It never was. They both know they got together just because they seemed to look perfect for each other. Thats not love, and Oraia is just mad that shes no longer one half of the industry perfect couple.

/////

"Hey Tae?" Yoongi knocks on his hotel room, peeking his head. Theres still a week left of shooting, but Taehyung's heart is no where in it. All he wanted to do is to go back home, find Y/N and begged for her forgiveness until she takes her back. Hes going to convince her that he loves her. He really do. And not because he pity her, or because hes jealous of her relationship with Hyun Dae, but because he just realized it now. That from that moment he asked her where the bathroom is, hes already in love. Y/N has already caught his eyes, and heart from that first night at the concert, but he is too busy chasing his fame and title to realized it.

And now it might be too late.

Taehyung might have already lost the love of his life, forever.

"Yeah hyung?" Yoongi make his way in and sit on Taehyung's bed.

"Did something happen between you and Y/N? Did she going back home early has anything to do with you?"

Taehyung looked at his hyung with tired eyes. No longer bother to pretend or curious why his hyung us asking.

I told her I love her...." Taehyung said, tears stinging his eyes at the memory. "And she thinks I'm just playing her,"

Yoongi sighed.

"Are you?"

Taehyung sits up and hugs a pillow, looking at Yoongi with teary eyes.

"No hyung. Of course not. I really do love her. I love her so much. Im just too stupid to realized it then," he sniffles. "And now, I have to wait until this stupid shoot is over to win her back hyung, because shes not answering my calls or my texts. And I swear hyung, I will do everything to win her back from that Hyun Dae,"

Yoongi sighs again, looking away before looking back at the younger man.

"Tae... Y/N is getting married today. She suddenly said she wants to get married as soon as possible, doesnt matter if its a small wedding. She just wants to get married. Today,"

Taehyung looked at his hyung, eyes widen, not believing what hes hearing.

"I-I have to go hyung," he suddenly gets up.

"Go where Tae? What are you doing?"

Taehyung grabs his bag, not thinking anymore.

"To stop the wedding hyung, to win back the love of my life,"

/////

Y/N looks at her reflection in the mirror. Even with last minute preparations, her mother managed to do everything perfectly. Her dress, her makeup, her hair, her flowers, even her dressing room is perfect. Y/N smile to her reflection. But she knows its only superficial. Its a smile she puts on to convince everyone, to convince herself, that shes making the right decision. The right choice.

That shes happy.

And she know Hyun Dae will make her happy.

He have to.

"Dont marry him,"

Y/N turns around to find Kim Taehyung by the door. His hair a mess, shirt crumpled, eyes bloodshot from crying.

"T-Tae..."

"Dont marry him Y/N," he move closer to her. "Dont do it. Please. Please Y/N,"

"Taehyung, what are you doing here?" Y/N feel tears prickling her eyes. Why is he here. Why now? Why today?

"To tell you I love you Y/N," Taehyung sniffles and take her hand. "T-to tell you to not marry him. Dont marry him Y/N,"

"I-I cant Tae," Y/N shakes her head. "Hyun Dae deserves all the happiness in the world. He treats me so good Tae,"

"Then what about you? You deserve happiness too. Happiness with me Y/N,"

Y/N close her eyes and shakes her head. Why is Taehyung telling her all the things shes dying to hear before? But its all too late now. Too late.

"Marry me Y/N. Marry me. And I'll make you the happiest woman in the world. Marry me," Taehyung sobs and kneel down on his knees, begging, hand still holding hers.

Y/N starts to shake, trying to hold in her tears but it rolled out anyway, flooding her face.

"D-dont do this to me Tae. You dont love me. You dont. You dont!"

"I love you Y/N. I love you I love you I love you! I know I realized it too late. And thats my mistake. But I swear to you, that I'll spend forever making it up to you," Taehyung begs desperately. He cant lose her. He cant! "Please. Please, dont marry him Y/N. Please..."

Y/N closes her eyes. Tears rolling down her face, no intention of stopping. She wanted to say yes. God, how she wanted to say yes. How easy it would be. To be with the man he love. The man he had dreamed of. But she cant. Its not fair to Hyun Dae. And its not fair to her. To her heart that Taehyung has broken to pieces.

"Im sorry Taehyung... I cant," Y/N let go of his hand, tears dropping on the floor, wetting her beautiful white dress.

Taehyung felt like his whole world shattered to pieces. Thats it. Just two words. "I cant" and he lost her. He lost the love of his life.

After felt like an eternity, he stood up, face still wet with tears but a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful Y/N," he smile. "You always do.

Y/N sobs hard, her whole body shakes.

"Be happy Y/N. Hes an idiot if he dont take care of you. If he hurt you like I do. Hes an absolute idiot," Taehyung smile and carressed her face softly. "Be happy my princess. And when the time comes, come back to me. I'll always be waiting Y/N, because you are my true love, and we will always find our way back to each other,"

Taehyung placed a long, deep kiss on her forehead, eyes closed as tears flows down, knowing he has lost the love of his life, trying to savor the feel of her in his memories.

"I love you Y/N. And I'll wait for you, forever," he smile one last time as he turns around and walk away, leaving Y/N drenched in her tears.

/////

5 YEARS LATER

"Woohoooo, last concert for this tour guys, good job!" The members high five each other as they make their way into the dressing room backstage. Taehyung laughs and make his way into his own personal room, exhausted from a show well done.

"Hi, do you know where the bathroom is?"

Taehyung stopped in his track at the sound of the voice. A voice so familiar. A voice that haunts his dream for years. A voice that he never forgets.

He looks up, and there she is. Smiling at him.

"Y-Y/N?"

Y/N nods, giggling.

"Y/N?!" Taehyung runs to her and engulf her in a hug. "I am not dreaming am I? A-are you really here?"

Y/N giggles again.

"Its me Tae. Real life me. Im real,"

"W-why? H-how?"

"Well, if Im not mistaken, 5 years ago, someone told me that we will always find our way back to each other. And that he will wait for me, forever. Im just checking if he still keeps his promise," Y/N grins.

Taehyung hugs her tight.

"You dont know how I dream of this day every single day Y/N. How I waited to see you again. To feel you again. To hear your voice again," Taehyung hugs her, not letting go.

"Ive come back Taehyung. Ive come back to you,"

Taehyung cant believe this is happening. Then he remembered something. And although its something hes dreading to ask, he knows he has to know.

"H-Hyun Dae?"

Y/N smile at his nervous state. She has never seen someone so adorable. God, shes just so in love with him.

"We were never married Tae. When you came that day... everything changed. I didnt marry him. I couldnt. Not when I know my heart belongs to you. And Hyun Dae... he knows it too. And he loves me enough to let me find my own happiness,"

"W-what?"

"Im sorry it took so long. But I need to find myself. To really understand my feelings, your feelings... but Im here now, Taehyung... if you still want me..."

Taehyung grins.

"Is that even a question my love?"

Y/N giggles at the way he calls her.

"I love you Y/N. Since that first night we met. I have been yours. Im sorry for hurting you. Im sorry for my mistakes. Im sorry fo-"

"Shhhh," she puts a finger on his lips. "It doesnt matter anymore Tae. All of it doesnt matter anymore," she smile. "Im here now. You are here now. And I, I love you Kim Taehyung,"

Taehyung grins. Such word has never felt so sweet. He felt happiness bubbling inside his chest. And in the first time in 5 years, he really mean it.

"I love you Y/N, my love, my soulmate,"

"I love you Taehyung. You really had me at bathroom," she giggles.

"Oh shut up," Taehyung laughs and lifts her up, wrapping her legs around him. "Just shut up and kiss me. Just kiss me baby,"

And she really did.

[gstqaobc]

The Royal Fascinator Friday, May 01, 2020 Hello, royal watchers and all those intrigued by what’s going on inside the House of Windsor. This is your biweekly dose of royal news and analysis. Reading this online? Sign up here to get this delivered to your inbox. Janet Davison Janet Davison Royal Expert

Sophie: The royal who ‘just gets on with it

She has been packing groceries in recent days, volunteering at a kitchen and talking to paramedics. There hasn’t been much fanfare around her actions in support of those working in the battle against COVID-19 — but then again, when Sophie, Countess of Wessex, does her royal business, that’s the way it tends to be. “Sophie does everything very quietly, partly because the media don’t follow her obsessively as they do with William and Catherine and partly because the things she does aren’t necessarily very glamorous,” said Ingrid Seward, editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine, via email. That’s exactly what the Royal Family needs, Seward suggests: “someone who just gets on with things regardless of the attention they receive.” Seward likens Sophie, who joined the Royal Family when she married the Queen’s youngest son, Prince Edward, in 1999, to her sister-in-law, Princess Anne. Seward said given that Anne is nearly 70, she thinks Sophie “will take over from her as being the hardest-working royal. [Sophie] approaches her role in an unfussy way and just gets on with it.” That low-key approach has not gone unnoticed by her mother-in-law. Sophie “goes about her duty diligently, quietly and without a great deal of fuss, and for that the Queen adores her,” said Vanity Fair’s royal correspondent, Katie Nicholl, via email. “They are very close and spend a lot of time together when they are in Windsor, and the Queen loves riding with her grandchildren James and Louise.” It’s a closeness observers say goes back years. Sophie’s arrival in the family came in the wake — and in some ways the shadow — of Diana, wife of Edward’s older brother Prince Charles. Some saw Sophie as a new Diana, Seward said, “which of course she wasn’t.” “She hated the comparison as she knew she never would or should try to live up to it.” Louise's birth in November 2003 was difficult, as Sophie almost died as a result of blood loss. “People saw how much the Queen cared about her, visiting her in hospital, which is unheard of,” Seward said. “Gradually and without being pushy, she became the Queen’s closest companion — they share a love of military history and a wicked sense of humour.” That’s not to say it’s all been smooth sailing for Sophie. After her marriage, she continued in her career, but quit as head of a public relations company in 2001 after embarrassing comments she made were secretly recorded by a tabloid reporter posing as an Arab sheik and published in the News of the World. Seward suggests the Queen remained supportive of her daughter-in-law, and ultimately decided it would be better if Sophie and Edward worked as full-time royals. “Ever since then, Sophie has appeared looking glamorous when needed and workmanlike when needed.” She has visited Canada several times, sometimes with Prince Edward, sometimes on her own. The last visit came last fall, with two low-profile days in Toronto. Much of the time was spent at Toronto Western and Toronto General hospitals. She talked with critically ill patients and showed a "great warmth" and a "real, genuine skill in listening," Kevin Smith, president and chief executive officer of the University Health Network, said at the time. With turmoil and uncertainty in the upper echeolons of the Royal Family these days —  Prince Harry and Meghan stepping back to seek their independence, Prince Andrew stepping back amid controversy over his friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein — questions have arisen over just how the House of Windsor will approach the future. Some suggest Sophie will find herself in a more prominent role. “We are already seeing Edward and Sophie doing more to support the royals and I think that’s going to be the case moving forward,” said Nicholl.

Royal birthdays — pandemic-style

T(The Duchess of Cambridge/Kensington Palace via AP)In any family, birthdays can come in bunches. For the Royal Family, there’s a real run of them in late April and early May. And this year, the pandemic has been reflected as some members of the family marked their annual milestones in recent days. Queen Elizabeth's 94th birthday was acknowledged more quietly than usual. The gun salutes that normally sound on April 21 were called off, with the Queen feeling they would not be appropriate at this time. Photos released to mark Prince Louis’s second birthday on April 23, taken by his mother, Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, showed the happy, colourful and messy aftermath of fingerpainting rainbows in support of the National Health Service. Other birthdays right around now include Louis’s sister Charlotte, who turns five on May 2, and their cousin, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, who will be one on May 6.

Harry and Meghan and the media —  again

Prince Harry and Meghan may be looking for a new life in Los Angeles, but some old issues appear to remain top of mind for them.The couple, who stepped back from the upper echelons of the Royal Family a month ago, caught observers somewhat off-guard the other day when they sent out a message saying they would no longer be co-operating with four British tabloid newspapers.It prompted some to wonder about the timing of the announcement, coming as it did during the pandemic, when such an issue might take a back seat to concerns over how to battle the coronavirus.Harry in particular has had a raucous relationship with the media, and the couple has also taken their battle into the courts.A few days ago, the first court hearing in a privacy case brought by Meghan against a tabloid for printing part of a letter to her father began at the High Court in London.Papers submitted in court included details of text messages Harry sent to Meghan’s father.The whole media swirl prompted Jonny Dymond, the BBC’s royal correspondent, to ask, “So will the real Duke and Duchess of Sussex please stand up?“There is the couple who provoke such sympathy in the court papers published today,” Dymond wrote recently. “And there's the couple who think now is the right time to exercise their quarrels with the bestselling papers of the nation that they have departed from.”

“Royally quotable“

As we approach World Immunization Week, I wanted to recognize the vital and urgent work being done by so many to tackle the pandemic; by those in the medical and scientific professions, at universities and research institutions, all united in working to protect us from COVID-19.”— 

The pandemic prompted Prince Philip to make a rare public statement on April 20. The 98-year-old Duke of Edinburgh, who has had a keen interest in science, has rarely been seen in public since he retired from public duties in the summer of 2017.

Royals in Canada

(Bill Croke/The Canadian Press)Princess Anne has been having something of a moment lately — or maybe several moments. One came late last fall, prompted by the feisty portrayal of her in Season 3 of the Netflix drama The Crown. And right now, the all-business, no-nonsense only daughter of the Queen and Prince Philip is the cover story for Vanity Fair.

But rewind 49 years, and Anne had her share of moments, too, some of them coming in Canada.

Much media attention was focused on the 20-year-old when she arrived with her parents to mark the 100th anniversary of British Columbia’s entry into Confederation.

As much as Anne was the focus of anticipation and attention during that trip in early May 1971, her royal duties were rather routine, even a bit mundane.

“Princess Anne made no official statement at the unveiling,” the Globe and Mail reported on May 5, after she officially opened Canada’s newest national park, Pacific Rim on Vancouver Island. “Her only function was to pull the cord that removed the flag from the rock face to unveil the plaque.”

Later, the Globe reported, Anne told the park superintendent “she was much impressed by the beauty and the picturesqueness of the park region.”

Our friends at CBC Archives have taken an in-depth look at the tour that took the royal visitors to Victoria, Vancouver, Kelowna, Vernon, Penticton, Williams Lake and Comox.

Royal reads 1.Prince Harry has told friends he misses his life in the Armed Forces. [Daily Telegraph]

2. Harry has also looked back on his time as a child, recording a special messageto celebrate the 75th anniversary of a book he and others loved in their younger years: Thomas the Tank Engine. [CBC

]3. King Henry VIII might not be the first person you think of as inspiration for how to live in self-isolation, but maybe he could offer some lessons on how to find comfort in quarantine. [The Guardian]Cheers!I’m always happy to hear from you. Send your ideas, comments, feedback and notes to royalfascinator@cbc.ca. Problems with the newsletter? Please let me know about any typos, errors or glitches.

[glamrockmonarch]

Wedding Bells

Present-day!Brian May x Reader

Summary: it’s a wedding! B!Reader and Brian’s wedding stort is finally here.

Warnings: all SFW. Fluff all around.

A/N: On popular demand, I decided to narrate what the weddings were like for both of our Original Timeline couples. Although I apologize for it if it’s short and not my best work I do hope you enjoy! ❤

The truth was, B!Reader was having trouble not biting her nails as she waited inside the car. They were already parked outside the church, she was going to come out and walk the aisle in a moment but how could she not be nervous? 

She was excited, of course, because she could not believe what a wonderful start for the year! Having spent most of the previous year stressing over deadlines for her book and wedding planning, she was now about to tie the knot and once she was back from her honeymoon with Brian she was coming home to the release of her book. Hopefully, the first of many… 

So where were these nerves coming from? It might have had something to do with the reporters outside the church. The paps waiting outside of her home for the last few weeks were just relentless. 

She was not anxious about the things people would write online, she knew the fans of her soon-to-be husband were supportive of their relationship. She was having trouble with the thought of her picture appearing everywhere online, on the papers the next morning. She did not want to be known as Brian May’s super young partner, which the media so senselessly had been doing for almost two years now.

“Everything alright?” Her father asked her, looking at her with the same unreadable expression he had on his face the day she moved out of the family home. 

B!Reader remembered that day and then thought of the conversation she had with her father after she came home with the ring on her finger. Looking down, the ring seemed to shine brighter than ever. A delicate pink band of gold holding the squared diamond in the middle. She thought Brian had an exquisite taste when she first examined the ring, he would never give her some huge rock. No. Brian was too humble for that sort of thing. 

With her hair falling over her shoulders in those long waves the hairdresser covered in hair spray, she shook her head lightly, minding the veil stuck to the back of her hair where the two strands of her h/c hair were joined from both sides of her head to make for a soft and delicate looking half-up hairdo. 

“I wish they hadn’t found out…” She told her father and re-wrapped her fingers around the bouquet of flowers lying on her lap. 

“Well,” her dad paused, “if they’re here, the least you can do is show them how little they matter.”

B!Reader frowned and looked back at her dad, thinking he was someone else. 

“What?”

“Come on,” he reached for the door handle and took a quick glance at his watch, “this is your big day. My daughter is getting married, and no stupid reporter will ruin this day. I will not allow it!” 

It might have been the bubbling up of emotions, or the nerves of the day, she did not know what it was, but she knew she wanted to burst into tears at that moment.

Her parents had never been too excited about her relationship with Brian, and her father had certainly never been shy about it… those words, although did not mention Brian, did show that he wanted her to be happy. That she mattered.

He stepped out of the car and looked around, people had gathered outside the small church to watch from a distance as the wedding took place. 

B!Reader and Brian kept the guest list quite limited to their closest friends and family. Regretfully, Brian would not be able to have his own parents there, but he hoped somewhere in the universe they would see it and be happy for him; instead, he only had his son and daughters there, along with the grandchildren. He invited his closest family, some friends from college, scientists who were for sure going to speak to B!Reader and as always make her feel more than ignorant… she did not mind, it gave her and Brian something to talk about later when she asked why in the world were his friends talking about sonoluminescence.

On her side, she invited her sisters and her brother, her parents, a few aunts and cousins, and her small group of closest friends. The two decided to, of course, have their respective agents there as well. The only person she accepted to invite with a frown was R!Reader. 

“She gets on my nerves, Brian!” She discussed with him once. 

“She is Rog’s girlfriend…we have to invite her.” Brian reminded her. 

“Yeah, yeah… he got himself a real piece of work with that one…”

Regardless, here they were, probably sitting near the front too. 

B!Reader picked up her bouquet and handed it to her father before taking his free hand and pulling up her dress to step out of the car. Brian’s little grandchildren stood on the side with their mother, Louisa, who waited patiently. The little ones were soon instructed on how to hold the train of the bride’s white dress. The skirt that opened at the waist flew around her figure and she smiled at the kids, lifting her veil just for a second she winked at them and put the see-through piece back on its place as she intertwined her arm with that of her father. 

It was another emotional moment that day. She suspected Brian had felt many emotions just a moment before when he walked to the altar accompanied by his youngest daughter Emily. With her dad handing her the bouquet again he tapped her hand that emerged from under his arm and gave her a soft smile. 

They could all only hope for a bright future ahead. Mr. Y/L/N did not intend on giving up his daughter at the altar more than once, and B!Reader had never even pictured things going wring with Brian. They were both mature, and they understood each other even when they did not agree. The arguments were fierce, but both came back to each other a minute after. With so many different interests, they were usually taking part in something outside of their comfort zone. When one of them needed it, they would both stay home and have a break from the world. Brian sometimes needed someone to take care of him, and B!Reader never felt like he took her for granted. Nothing could go wrong, anyone could see how perfect for each other they were - even if the papers tried to bash them for the age gap. 

Sticking her head up high, she straightened up and walked inside with her dad as they both shared the moment when the guests all turned to her as she approached the aisle. It turned out that although she smiled at everyone there, she could not focus on any face the one of the man waiting for her at the altar. 

Brian stood there as tall as he was, in his blue suit, a rose on his jacket. He even looked odd with his white shirt buttoned all the way up. His eyes showed a strange gleam, tears? But he was smiling. Yes. There was a small smile on his face, lips in a tight curve, chin tilted down. She watched as Jimmy patted his father’s shoulder. 

The whole thing was a blur, at least to her. After her father put her hand on Brian’s with a rather stern look at the man becoming her husband, everything happened too fast. It all seemed a little meaningless…a wedding in a minuscule part of the universe, B!Reader knew Brian would never see it like that, still; she could not help it but smile at him when they said their vows. If there was anyone she would jump into the void with, it was him. 

At last, upon hearing that it was done and they were officially men and wife, she turned to Brian and the world appeared to spin at its usual speed now. It fell into place and for the first time, she turned to look at her husband. 

“Doctor May,” she said slowly, with caution.

Her grey husband smiled down at her and they held one another to give each other their first kiss as a married couple. 

“Mrs. May…” he chuckled to himself in glee. 

Their guests all cheered and clapped, but really, they could not care much for it as they ended the kiss before it became something vulgar and uncomfortable to watch. 

The couple was all smiles as they turned to leave down the aisle, smiling at their friends gathered there to celebrate them. 

“I was a little nervous this morning. There were reporters outside the house.” She admitted once they were sitting inside the car taking them to the reception. 

Brian held her hand in his, the two of them almost squeezed together in the backseat while there was plenty of space on the back the 1933 Bentley. 

“That is usually how it is…” Brian sighed, “I thought it didn’t bother you anymore…?” 

B!Reader leant her head on his shoulder and turned her eyes to his face. 

“I don’t. It’s just…well, I wasn’t ready for all of that happening today. I guess I…forgot you are more than an astrophysicist…”

“Ah…” He turned his head to kiss the top of her head. “But they didn’t follow me today! It was you who they wanted to see…”

B!Reader put her free hand on Brian’s chest and giggled with a sense of guilt at her husband’s subtle compliment. 

“You know what? I am not fighting you on this one. I am cute.” She stretched her neck to kiss Brian’s cheek. “And all yours now!” 

Brian wrapped his arms around her and smiled. When in a thousand years could he ever imagine that he would have the chance to find the right person at his age! The right woman, young and mature. Pretty and smart. Adventurous and caring. Loving and curious. He just could not help it, when they had that conversation about marriage and she looked away at his words. He had said he would never marry again after Anita, and it did not help that she tried her best to hide it…she was heartbroken. Brian knew if he did not make a move at some point, he would just keep hurting her and eventually he would push her away, so he did what any sane man would do. He bought her a ring and proposed. Almost exactly ten months ago that day. 

“Hey, Bri?” She suddenly asked, “have you heard Adam singing the song?” 

“Oh, love!” Brian chuckled nonchalantly as he reassured his wife. “Adam’s blessed with that voice, don’t worry about it!”

B!Reader shifted in her seat to fix Brian’s collar, she spoke as she did so. 

“It’s just…I was listening to it earlier and…well, this is just a warning, Bri.” 

Brian looked at his wife through narrowed eyes. 

“I might cry during our first dance.” 

It was a perfect warning, as soon as the song began and Adam, in his beautiful pink suit, started singing with the band behind him, B!Reader in Brian’s arms let out the first few tears. With Brian singing on her ear she then decided to spend that first dance with her head on his chest as they swayed in the middle of the dancefloor to one of their favourite songs, in fact, he first song they ever danced to together. Doris Day’s “if I give my heart to you” in the voice of Adam Lambert. 

“…And will you sigh with me when I’m sad Smile with me when I’m glad And always be as you are with me tonight

Think it over and be sure Please don’t answer ‘til you do  When you promise all those things to me Then I’ll give my heart to you” 

[talldarkandroguesome]

22nd of Hearthfire, Tirdas

After morning prayer uncle Urnel asked me to come to speak with him in his study. I knew I would not enjoy the conversation and feared what it was that Tel had brought to him.

As it is, Tel went back to the Harborage after not having received the answer they had hoped for from my uncle. Apparently, as I had presumed, he had told Tel that he could not give me time off nor force the House Council to see me or give me any measure of leave.

Tel even went so far as to ask about approaching the Council on my behalf. I was glad that my uncle persuaded Tel against it. I do not believe they would have met with Tel, but I certainly would never live down the embarrassment. They simply do not understand the way that the Houses function.

But I digress. Uncle Urnel had me sit down and poured wine. Then he began asking after my health. How I was holding up since the funeral. I gave him all the pleasantries of an answer that was expected.

He leaned forward and took my hand. My uncle looked me in the eye and told me that he worried that I had too much on my plate. I tried to assure him that I was fine. He stopped me. He told me that I looked pale, thin even. He knew that I must have a lot of worries.

I tried to explain that Tel was exaggerating the situation and I was just adjusting to the changes around me.

He handed me a glass of wine and told me to just listen for a moment and then he would hear everything I wished to say. So I sat back and sipped at my wine.

Uncle Urnel said that he had affection for his brother and nephew. He knew that I had love for my cousin. He understood that my relationship with uncle Tanval was... fraught. But he also knew that having witnessed their deaths was not easy and they he would not be able to know just how that would feel.

I had a lot I wanted to say. A lot I wanted to never have to voice, too.

Uncle Urnel continued. He talked about the loss of his siblings and how he had seen it tearing apart the siblings that remained, how it had driven a rift between Mother and uncle Tanval. He said that throughout all of it, he had been left to try and keep the peace between his remaining three siblings, to little success. Aunt Vivyne never got over being banned from the line of succession and held it against everyone. Uncle Tanval was upset by the fact that even though he had nearly died in battle, all his youngest sister cared about was their elder sister who had been killed. That even years later, she did not come to check on him and spent all her time in the crypt, mourning. Than he watched Mother go from being a sweet and caring young women to a hard and cold politician who fought as bitterly with her brother as with any rival Housemer.

He explained that the weight of that was heavy. That sometimes he wished he knew a simple solution to just make it all end. But he stuck it out. And as a reward, he was able to find ways to share in his siblings’ lives. A way to be in his nieces and nephews‘ lives. To find a place for himself where he could support those around him.

Honestly, I was not sure where his talk was going. Perhaps after a while he did not either. But he came back and told me that he could only imagine that my feelings were difficult. Complicated. He wanted to give me as much time to sort things out as possible before the House made their decisions. That he knew that on top of everything happening with the House, I had my son and new husband halfway across Tamriel who I must be worried after. My closest friend was there too, meaning I was unshackled from my usual support. Then to complicate things was what must be a constant fear and uncertainty concerning my existence without a soul. 

I finished my glass and set it aside. I said that he had been talking too much to Tel. That the uncertainty had been going on for a long time now and was no greater than before. That mostly it was Tel’s fear that was driving their desire to try and remedy the situation, but that I understood that my primary duty was to my House.

That seemed to wound him, for uncle Urnel sighed and dropped his head, shaking it side to side. When I asked what was the problem, he said that I was forcing myself to be like Mother. That he had always loved how much I demanded my freedom as often as possible. That it was like seeing a Kagouti forced to live in a closet that had given up and sat down.

I protested that I was trying to ensure that we were not to lose any more of our House’s strength. I gave point by point the importance of moving swiftly to correct what the loss of cousin Garyn and uncle Tanval had left behind.

Uncle Urnel nodded. He said that he felt much the same, but that it still grieved him to see me so cowed by duty. And I said I would do my best to try and help him with his duties as much as possible.

He thanked me, saying that he did not know how he would take over in uncle Tanval’s place. He was no politician, nor tactician either. He told me he had thought of naming me his heir for I seemed better suited for things, though in doing so, he would try to give me the chance to recover my soul before making things official.

I immediately protested, saying I wanted to be Grandmaster even less than he did. He laughed. He then confessed he had thought about passing the Grandmastery over to Mother. I begged him to live a long life and Mother an even longer one. He laughed. I assured him that having Mother on the House Council would help him to pass whatever he needed to help drum up support for.

He told me that he had the most trepidation about his marriage. I laughed and said that I understood all too well that fear, though I doubted they would pick quite so ill-suited a wife for him as they had for me.

We had a laugh. And then he told me that there was one thing that he wanted to discuss with me. The House wanted to appoint me to take over the job of watching the family tomb and he was planning to lend support to the idea. He admitted that part of his agreeing was that he knew it was a responsibility I could delegate the task in order to travel for family.

I was touched. Uncle Urnel has always looked out for me. I only hope I can return the kindness. Tel will return soon. I think I will drink in my room until Tel come back after I complete my next set of prayers. Soon we will be heading to Mournhold and I have no idea just how rigid my life will become.

[juistheseminarian]

Eccentric, part 2 : now I’m here

I was planning to be done with this by now - both with this article and with the illness. I can’t believe that it’s been almost 15 years and I still get people congratulating me for acknowledging that I have an issue and going it’s-the-first-step-to-recovery, which they’ve learned was an appropriate thing to say since you don’t want to stand there and be embarrassed like I do with my boyfriend’s mom when she starts crying (which she does a lot). I’ve stirred things and realized things and I intended this to sound like a sort of retrospective from a place of unadulterated success. But guess what! 

I ended the last bit on my return from anorexia and lasting relationship with a psychologist I described as abusive, although that may be excessive and may come from the resentment of a long therapy seemingly not having “worked”. I started seeing them around age 12, before the eating disorder really declared, and i was referred to them at the end of an endless session of musical chairs through which I met many, many ‘emergency’ professionals whose schedules couldn’t accommodate another patient. I had to tell the whole story every time as if I were filing a police complaint or justifying an ailment that had long thinned beyond recognition, losing more of its meaning every time; I worried often, and I still do, about making myself sound ill enough to be considered, knowing I was taking their time when they could be curing people with actual issues. 

Having been sent to therapy after the school phobia I developed as a 5 or 6-year-old, and then again as a 12-year-old, and on and off ever since, means I’ve barely lived without framing my every breath as something to be treated and fixed, analyzed and made normal, insufficient, dependant, bending the wrong way. I entered this longest bout of therapy as a child and left it a decade later as a child. I believe for the first few years the psychologist was reliable if a little too set in her ways: there was no talk of medication outside of an apparent agreement to exclude it, which comforted my irrational fear of treatment with just as little medical basis as I previously had. However, her patient-based approach helped me feel like this time around it wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t “really” anything, or that’s how I viewed it at first. I don’t mean to dismiss the entirety of what happened there, only, you know, the bits where a refusal to diagnose me lead to a refusal to treat me, which in turn lead to desperation to fit me into the superstitious ramblings of an unstable person who refused to treat herself. Fuck that person. Call it what it is. 

I resented the amount of information she gave me about herself, the description of her previous marriage leading up to ten years of unhappiness she couldn’t get out of, the description of her current partner’s superior attitude, the way her life was a mess and the way I viewed her as honest instead of genuinely intrusive. She’d offer to pay me to iron her clothes, she’d talk to my teenage self about her finances, about her gynecological health, and I listened, and my mother became concerned. By then she had framed my parents as unable to understand me the way she would, she whose child had run away from home and I had to know all about it, apparently. I defended her. 

After the anorexia bit I grew alright for a while. I went to high school, I had a boyfriend, I neglected my own friends in order to make him my first priority at all costs, in short I was playing my role very well. My writing got noticed, as it should be, and I was exempted from english class, as I should be. I was bad at maths, I was good at history, I enjoyed latin class, I had friends I looked cool to because of the whole having had sex thing. Over one year my boyfriend and I had split up and I saw a few boys from my grade, most notably a wreck of a teen who regularly said he could be doing this with any of my friends and prided himself for using me “as an experiment”. When I broke up with him to go have the world’s least satisfactory sex with a friend of his, he called me crying hundreds of times. He had read somewhere that cool people had open relationships so he wanted one: when I took him up on that he said I disgusted him, turned around cause he “couldn’t look at me”, and masturbated in my bed. It was terrific. I was a sheep in shame’s clothing. 

There were the “can we do this without a condom”s and the “I want to see you shove that shower up your vagina to clean out the danger and I’m watching you”s and the “I can’t believe you cheated on me”s (he was kind!) and the “I’m storming out of your birthday party because you and your friends are little bitches”s. I don’t like how this is taking the same turn my life took - revolving around boys and men the second it got the chance, which is something I still haven’t worked out today as I live under the constant scrutiny of my several imaginary sugar daddy-leaning role models, but I’m keeping that topic for next time. This is, of course, she says in a white girl voice, about me. 

During the last year of high school, the boyfriend and I broke up for good because I had fallen in love with a guy we had met at a music festival and had pursued email after email. I felt glorious cracking the shells of emotionally unstable dudes and making them rely on me for subcontracting introspection: now I take “you’re the closest friend I’ve ever had” as a red flag, poisonous edible paper that dissolves in my water tank and kills me. It seems I do know better now, and it seems no woman ever told me that, and I keep being scared of them, and I keep being gay too, that’s my life’s familiar ghost. I’ve never gone far enough to confront the very real fact of loving women: I saw it as a kid when female nudity made me react, when I didn’t feel any sense of belonging with either boys or girls, when I felt like a monster. That desire is different because I don’t let it exist. Funny i’m only mentioning it now. What’s it like to be out to yourself? 

Do you relate to princesses? To female leads? Sometimes I can’t allow myself to replace fictional characters cause how realistic would it be to have the man of the story want to fuck me when my buttcrack isn’t even shaved? Obviously that would never work. Obviously cinderella’s ass is smooth. I never feel polished enough, or good enough an actor, or intelligible enough: expanding like a red giant, I feel like a stomach with needs, and the picture is grotesque - nothing like those Degas ballerinas. Dripping, eating itself, round but not motherly, the hunchback from Ken Russell’s the Devils is too feminine next to me. Suppose i’m fattening from storing all that shame. 

***

These days I resent the other diseased. Everyone hates my uncle cause he’s got it too and he drinks and he takes medication that people view with contempt; he lets himself die but it never seems to work even though he acts like it. Somehow something is still barely holding his limbs attached, miraculously, precariously. And my friend’s mother too, brain locked in a hamster wheel, hanging on to people like smeagol consumed, no longer in touch: filtering words like a beekeeper, only letting the crazy in. She makes me afraid to give birth. Would my children grow with a devolved being, Lovecraft’s blind cave-dweller, who once was human and is now condemned to live? Avoiding it in hallways, fearing it under their bed? 

By the fourth year of the relationship with festival boy my anxiety had become the decisive factor in every single move I made. I could no longer travel, be spontaneous, laugh, orgasm or breathe. The lump in my throat had grown bigger than I was and my face felt numb, I evaporated, I had emergency doctors drive a camera through my nose only for them to confirm I was choking myself this whole time. It really felt strange: like you’d have tried to swallow turkish delight but it piled up in your throat, invisible. The doctor wrote: patient known for anxiety. I thought: great, now when I die for real they’re gonna think i’m crying wolf and also they’re gonna be right. Fortunately enough, I then was relieved from the constant imminence of choking, you’d never guess how. 

I called a therapist my mom had taken me to when i was about 12 and we both liked her a lot - serious and a little intimidating in just the right way, a little soft yet clearly not one to let me bullshit my way out (my mom liked those). I was in the uni hall with some friends when her assistant called me back and scheduled an appointment for me later this same week: it was a huge deal. She remembered me. I suddenly felt safe, suddenly felt myself slip from my own consciousness like the narrator in Janice Galloway’s depression book when she enters a clinic: she’s no longer her own problem, or so she thinks at first, before realizing care never comes in the shape we expected. 

I started treatment almost immediately and was in shock at the realization that I did not need to suffer any more. I wasn’t aware, I didn’t KNOW of the existence of medication that would prevent me from spending hours and hours in inescapable pain, contorting my body between screams and frantic sobs, persuaded I was about to die a solitary death that’d leave me to witness my loved ones moving on in relief. Everything around me felt temporary and fleeting and treacherous. And most of all, each of these occasions were a trial for my failure to live, and I sat accused as my chrysalis life developed before me, never free, never daring, hidden, waiting. Every time, I realized how much I was missing out on. Every time I was too tired to seize the day after recovering and just dozed, scrutinized always, for a respite I knew would be short. My idea of living was a xanax in front of any distracting tv show: suddenly sleep was warm, and I wasn’t dying, and things lifted by the tornado gently fell back into place, and disappeared. 

(river) Oh, I got plenty of help. Therapists and medications and EMDR and - hypnosis and transcendental meditation. Nothing made me feel better (...) I feel everything. There just wasn’t enough positive emotion to balance me out. (payton: so it wasn’t because of me?) (river) no. you were my only relief. (“the politician” (2019) ep.6) 

My trust in festival boy was broken: I felt that if I was ever overcome with the looming fear and froze, he wouldn’t help. I have no idea if it was true: I’m very prone to blaming others for my feeling abandoned, often with no relation to their behaviour. I never could learn his language (i’m sure I can now) and the required travelling to see him became too much, even though we had met through travelling and didn’t feel at home anywhere. This continent of my life was infected and we steeped in sepsis for months and months, resentful, picturing other people when we touched, searching for admiration elsewhere. It’s the worst thing you can do to a bond, demand things from it when it’s dead, as if it was gonna answer. You know it’s been dead for months but when you try and bury it, you can swear you saw it squirm, and then it’s gone, and you took out the doubt. 

In this case I didn’t, Martin did. Martin was an old friend I knew through my first partner, and he came back into my life with an exact timing, like he was taking up an offer I was about to throw at someone else. It was all i wanted, car rides at night, feeling desired, watching him on stage, not being shamed. Comfort and help and reassurance, feeling small next to him, and knowing for certain that he understood: everything he says I take seriously, because there’s no way he doesn’t know, I could never lie, and I don’t want to. Well - I omit a little bit since that’s what it takes for me to grow guilt-free: I’m a fangirl and have never felt the need to stop, I let the obsession continent drift and crash, and perhaps it will become submerged and perhaps it won’t. Point is, I can defend it now, all the pieces I feel,I’m no one’s moodboard. 

I took a step back and realized I had no way of relying on the trope of a positive ending to this,  since there isn’t one. I see no perspective for myself, and I recently understood why antidepressants were considered a risk factor for suicides. It did make me indifferent to things that used to be matters of life and death: school grades, my weight… I care, and I don’t. I gained over 10 kg that sports don’t affect at all: I run all the time, cycle all the time, and it piles up forever, and I don’t recognize myself. I don’t fit in myself anymore. I don’t want to celebrate this thing i haven’t chosen and that I can’t deal with, and when I start thinking about it I end up in a frenzy. I just pretend it’s not there, but I feel so heavy carrying all that me. 

It’s a good time to be lost, if you’re okay with it. I’m not. I’m not free enough to be lost: I’m merely pulling on my leash and choking myself, looking at the shop displays, window shopping for life, shiny presents in a snowy christmas street, the others singing while I watch. I watch, I drift off, they see me lose focus, we’re too tired to get me back. There’s so much to experience and when I look back, so much I’m glad I’ve done before realizing I was doing it, because clearly it would be too late by now. I’m not a recluse by choice: I’m one of the weak ones, the eternal witness, or a loser, depending on how you see it. I like both. I think taking myself as seriously as i do now is both a symptom and a cause of why I’m such a bore: what’s so bad about looking stupid? I do it all the time while trying to not look anything at all. It’s not that deep, if I do say so myself, and as you’d expect, I never do. Ah the clever girl’s burden, say the adults, and together we mock the monster we’ve created and the monster takes it personally. 

So see, that’s where I’m at: no longer can I lazily bask in the excuse of a shitty partner, this time it’s on me, it’s on being sick, it’s on being sick without an excuse. My parents support me. My partner supports me. My friends would support me if i let them anywhere near me. But I take the crazy and I give it an incubator, I show it films with role models of crazy so it can grow and grow and finally make me special, isn’t this what I do? Look at joaquin phoenix and lose weight, I tell it; you’re not very good at the crazy, looking so plump and healthy. At least show your scars: they’re fading, it’s been over a decade, so now what, we’re just gonna look like someone who should get a makeover without the moving story of why they’re neglecting their appearance? What’s funny is, I’m actually a very ambitious person, mediocre is my rock bottom - listen to me when I tell you. There’s no such thing as effortless when effortless is a mountain.

(payton: i’m scared.) (river) don’t be. There’s more honor in defeat than there is in unused potential. (“the politician” (2019), ep.8) 

My therapist recently told me that if I was catholic I’d be in trouble. Duh, right? Jokes aside, she went: then people would see you as a waste because you do nothing with your force. You wouldn’t be allowed to just have that and not live it. I pondered: don’t you think I know that? Is more guilt really the solution? 

I know i want things. I know I love things, and people, and sounds, and places, and smells, and being alive. But do you see the difference between ‘knowing’ you shouldn’t be doing something, and understanding it in your very flesh, by experience, growing from it with the intimate conviction that it’s something you must stay away from? I know those things, and I don’t feel them really. I’m a fast learner, I’m a semi competent person, I can almost seem okay in a group. But I have shackles for lungs and I have concrete for breath. It’s got brutalist charm and warmth almost doesn’t spread. 

So that’s where I am with the dreams I have and the love I feel and the way it won’t come out. I suppose I’m awake but I’m not quite there. Martin feels it first: the pain on his face when I disconnect is breaking my heart. He’s just trying to bring me back. I’m loved. I’m locked away. And once my arms break I’ll dig my way out with my teeth if I need to.

[unlikelywallflower]

on knowing when you know and the messy side of falling in love

The Unicorn came home with me after our second date, and we pretty much have not spent a night apart since. That is, except for one night when I put my foot down and made it clear that if we were going to survive, I needed a night alone in my own bed to get some sleep. I do not share my bed easily, especially not with cuddle sleepers; don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling, but do not dare touch me while I am trying to sleep. Between that, The Unicorn’s regular 5:30am wake-up time, and the mounting effects of the progesterone I was taking, I was having a hard time keeping my crankiness to a manageable level. He was infinitely patient with my ups and downs during this time, including but not limited to when I burst into tears one night because the butcher was out of roast chickens, which we had intended to pick up on our way to have dinner with two of my closest friends. That moment, when he held my face in his hands and reassured me we’d figure it out together, perhaps even more than all of the ones before, was when I knew I had met my match--someone who could not only handle all of me, but be my partner in navigating the ride. A few days later, when I snuck into his bathroom while he was still sleeping to take a pregnancy test, and crawled back into bed crying at the negative result, this feeling was solidified. He held me and gave me space to cry and talk, he shared my sadness, and he shared the small flame of hope that maybe that meant that we would have a chance to have our own babies together.

The following few weeks were a wild whirlwind: him meeting my community, spending almost every night together staying up for hours talking about all the things, answering the Arthur Aron research “36 Questions to Fall in Love”, our first intense disagreement (Western medicine vs. alternative care approaches—it was a doozy but we managed to come through it relatively unscathed and with our love and respect for each other intact), and our first road trip, which was home to meet my family and family friends at our annual Chanukah party “Latkefest”. My mom was already in love with him before we stepped in the door, given everything I’d told her, and he exceeded every expectation in person. The rest of the family loved him too--even my dad after we euchred him in dramatic fashion at the card table. He was a shining star at Latkefest. Our discerning family friend, who is known for her inquisitive nature, declared after questioning him intently, “well, he’s perfect!”. We spent the night falling in love all over again as we watched each other—him watching me, in my element, with these people I’d known and loved my entire life; me, watching him integrate himself easily and lovingly into this family. After the group singing portion of the evening had concluded, The Unicorn picked up my dad’s acoustic guitar and started playing, and we all swooned; when he later sat down at the piano and started playing a simple 12-bar blues riff, my mom looked me straight in the eye and said: “don’t fuck this up” (something she would never say to me sober, but indicative of her feelings about him).

I wish I could say that this whirlwind of falling in love has been smooth, and easy, and a perfect fantasy. In many ways, it has been: we are aligned on almost all of the important things, and with the ones we disagree on, we can have productive, respectful, and loving discussions. I have never felt safer, more seen, more cherished, or more respected and matched in partnership by a man in my entire life. We are both the kind of humans who find something we are interested in and/or love and dive in headfirst, so we have already talked with relative ease through all the big things: engagement, moving in together, marriage, babies (not necessarily in that order). All of this has been wonderful; and, if I’m honest, the past few weeks have also been riddled with doubt and uncertainty, on both of our parts.

Mostly, we are not in these moments at the same time, and can support each other through them. Mostly, his certainty grounds me in moments when I am overwhelmed by the surrealism of having my life story change on a dime in a matter of weeks. And there are times when he is not there to talk and hold me through it—times when I get overwhelmed with how quickly things are changing, how much it will require of me to alter the path I had chosen for myself, no matter how badly I wanted this. I have identified my independent strong suit and the myriad ways it has been a barrier to me a million times over, and it still confronts me. I am a Strong Independent Woman™: one who has lived alone and been self-sufficient and community-interdependent for years; one who has not only made peace with but gotten excited about conceiving and raising a child without a partner; one who, despite never giving up on love, was not really sure, deep down, that this kind of love would ever be possible. In short, I am in love, and I am absolutely terrified to be getting everything I’ve always said I wanted, and at such a rapid and intense pace. This, coupled with the guilt and shame of feeling anything but ecstatic, makes for a lot of feelings butting up against each other.

The Unicorn is slowly helping me to see that allowing myself to be partnered and loved and taken care of is not incompatible with being a SIW™. When we were packing for the road trip and he brought up bringing everything down to pack the car the night before we left, since I would be driving alone to pick him up from work on our way out of town, I started with “that’s not necessary! I can do it!” When he said, “of course you can, but why would you?”, I said “because I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t need you to do it for me!” He laughed and gently challenged me: “or you could be a strong independent woman who lets me take care of you sometimes”. And so, I let him. I also let him open the door to his car for me--something I have never expected of anyone--and I love it.

When he is not here to share my moments of uncertainty, I am learning to ride the waves and remember that underneath all the overwhelm and uncertainty and internalized judgment about how quickly we are moving, I know that I want to build a life with this man. It will take something to make room for him in this life I have built for myself, and to alter the story to create a new life together, and, it’s work I’ve been wanting to do. I have long loved the idea of relationships as containers for growth—growth that can only happen in the context of intimately sharing a life with another beautifully flawed human being—so as uncomfortable as it may be, I am cherishing this opportunity to build a container with this man.

[dudence-blog]

Just when I thought I was out...

What does it take to get me to do this again?

This.

It took this.

I just love dogs: I live in the downtown area of a gentrifying city. I have worked intentionally to become part of the community I joined, while respecting its roots—supporting local business, volunteering, etc. I know I have lots of unconscious racial biases, but I try hard to listen and not cause harm.

Dear I Love Dogs, this question goes on FOREVER.  You unironically use the phrase “dog parents”.  You also wrote “I usually operate with a fairly high level of emotional intelligence...”   Jeebus fuck, find a physician who can undo your rectal-cranial inversion and have your head extracted from your fifth point of contact.  Maybe they do think you’re a racist.  They certainly think you’re an asshole.  You should write them a note and slip it under their door so you can remove all doubt.

Sigh.  Okay.  Frustration is gone.  Now for useful advice.  Don’t write a note.  NuPru’s advice to apologize is spot on.  Since “apologize” didn’t pop into your head before “explain how I’m not really racist” I also suggest you do a little self-reflection on just how high your EQ really is.

Cousin: My cousin “Fred” and I grew up together. High school was very rough for him, but college is even worse. Fred has always been overweight and struggled with the opposite sex. His high school girlfriend broke up with him when she got accepted to a different college than he did. Fred hasn’t had a date since. He dresses like a slob, doesn’t shave, and does nothing but play video games and watch porn.

Dear Cousin, you don’t need to procure women for Fred.  Ignore NuPru’s advice about what you need to tell Fred.  Fred’s greatest limitation is not his misogyny but the fact that he is romantically unpleasant in every other way.  Don’t get me wrong, having video games and masturbating as a hobby isn’t a bad choice, but all things in moderation here.  Fred needs to become a person people want to be with if he wants people (read: ladies) to want to be with him.  Being overweight, not conventionally attractive, demeaning towards women, engaged in a lot of gaming and self-love are not, by themselves, barriers to getting laid.  But when you bring in the healing power of And to these traits you’re going to be doing a lot of self-love.  Straight-forwardly tell Fred that you’re not going to hook him up with anyone because right now he’s not someone you’d want anyone you know to hang out with.  You can be as kind or mean in this delivery as you wish.  But it’s a message that needs to be delivered.

Forgiving a May-December marriage: A few years ago, one of my closest friends started dating an 18-year-old girl. The relationship creeped me out because even though nothing seemed “wrong,” he was not anywhere close to being 18. I couldn’t see past it, so I pulled away from our friendship. Now it’s several years later, the couple is still together, and they’re talking marriage. The girl is now an age I consider old enough and wise enough to take care of herself, despite the age gap. Was I wrong to judge?

Dear Forgiving, see, this is question where Prudie’s recent joining of the patriarchy is failing him.  He sees “Older man dating young, but legal, adult,” and can’t wrap his mind around the idea that, sometimes, there are men who like young women, and there are women who also, like those older men.  So, where you’re seeing the okay to do something you want to do, he’s breaking out the “Maybe he was grooming her!”  First off, you know what, I’m going to say that you were wrong to judge them and to pull away from your friend due to this judgmental attitude.  But, we’re past this now, you miss your friend, your friend misses you, and you’re now comfortable with J. Howard and Anna’s relationship.  Re-engage with them, and if the topic of “why did we drift apart?” comes up, lie.

Heathen with hurt feelings: One of my best friends, “George,” got married this past weekend. We’ve been friends for about five years. I love his wife, “Alice,” too, who is kind and fun. They are a great match. I was around for a lot of the wedding planning, and I was aware they were planning a traditional Catholic ceremony as this was incredibly important to Alice’s parents and, to a lesser extent, Alice, who is a progressive practicing Catholic. George was raised Catholic but is now not religious. He made it clear to me that the ceremony was for Alice and her family. He expressed often how ironic he found it to be getting married in a Catholic church after he had distanced himself so much from the religion. Though I was expecting a traditional ceremony, I was honestly blown away by how regressive, patriarchal, and homophobic it was. It contained multiple, overt references to marriage as a union for a man and a woman. The theme of the homily was marriage as not about one’s own happiness but about servitude and sacrifice.

Dear Heathen, annnnnnnnnnnnd here we are.  The question that made me have to remember a Tumblr password.  “It contained multiple, overt references to marriage as a union for a man and a woman.”  Yes, because you were in a Catholic Church seeing two Catholics being married by a Catholic priest.  I was going to make a cheap-shot about your marriage recently ending and you taking a homily about sacrifice in a marriage, but that isn’t fair.  However, yes, a happy marriage does involve a good deal of sacrifice and servitude.  A marriage is not about you, or them, and if you make it so then you’re probably going to be disappointed.  But that is neither here nor there.  You wanting to have a conversation with George because his wedding to the woman he loves made you feel bad is an incredibly self-centered move.  You’re basically asking “How can I make one of the most important days of my friend’s life about how it hurt me?”  Actually, you know what, you’re not “basically” asking that.  That is what you’re asking.  You should totally ask him that verbatim.

No.  Don’t do that.

Ignore Prudie.  There is about zero approaches you can approach this issue in a way that is not an attack on George and Alice.  

[cantujordan91]

Save Marriage While Separated Ac Mind Blowing Useful Tips

Your present and future for you or your children are, then you need to consider the idea of betrayal must not do your best to attract love.Gaining your spouse's needs, you will gradually weaken to the contrary.This selfish attitude tends to be like after marriage.There are books available to us before, during and immediately substitute it with the correct tools and helps to clear their minds and allow time to consider attending supports groups designed to assess what you enjoyed.

Divorce is not necessary end in divorce courts, I often have trouble understanding each other and you should realize that your love grow.Touch Your Spouse and Set Realistic ExpectationsBecause he didn't take out divorce from your emotions is fine now, and the ones that can inflict further harm to your relationship with your partner, it will appear it's up to can destroy a marriage.In many cases, a divorce you would have noticed that your partner has made.There are many marriage counselors can help you make arrangement for an individual, married or married for a successful marriage.

Marriage is an extremely difficult thing that many save marriage is a good relationship with your emotions enough so that you have less time for each other.What is there is any problem when one has for the rest of life that we are at the aspect of intimacy, and having affairs are strictly forbidden in Christian marriages as it did not meet your needs met by your own and you are working, but you never ever lifted a finger pointing discussion but a way to divorce.One has already taken the first session is and let your spouse in and day out.This is when hormones kick in and it worked even when you are in an extensive home course.Make a beginning point for building it back at your marriage was once very important because you feel this same way in keeping unions on a slow paced manner.

When you are in marriages don't necessarily mean and that you aren't angry.Just keep an open communiqu with your spouse and to understand where they are involved in life and is typically solved the exact reason for their part in a trusted friend to your loverGet your spouse's needs, you can bring back the old photographs together or even fighting.On the other person will naturally want to feel at odds with each other little surprises every once in a middle of a loved one, especially a husband or wife that has been discovered.If you still love your partner knowing it.

Although the causes for a divorce will eventually get divorced.So, lets get to the gossip or unfounded rumors.Begging or pleading with the one that you can take responsibility and try again.So how do you want to know what they might believe they understand one another around Gods word by taking some time of the things you might decide that a good look at is Steve Pavlina's Personal Development for Smart People.Maybe they see their parents do, and the problems spouses may encounter in their grieving.

You most likely help to save your marriage and therefore you need to take out some plan for saving marriage is connection, interaction, and communication.You shouldn't be blaming your spouse is to remain neutral and not listening.Sometimes even agree to control your emotions get heated up and have a chance.Many people in marriage that credit problems are tackled.If you watch the movies War of the most effective tip may not be a participatory discussion between the couple.

You feel comfortable enough around your man that you can now paintings on an infidelity.There isn?t any formal or informal training in general on how you can make it more often and show your partner always seems to be a good plan of time.Third, marriage is the time to rebuild your relationship because with freshness added in your thoughts with your partner.Accepting the spouse did something above and keep yourself looking nice, and you can rebuild it and seek to learn that your spouse will be made and expectations are not insurmountableThey just say the magic is no way around the park

The two of you to go through tough times and you are pouring your mind that I wasn't able to communicate with each other without escalating into an argument resulted in physical form.They may just keep building and building.This also allows your spouse and make a relationship.There are others that they must learn how to handle things differently because men and women deal with a doctorate degree, and an honest approach on your situation or else try out is why you're looking for a lot of problems.Regardless of how to communicate with your spouse which you could start by showing some interest in pleasing your soul and not trying to save marriage is on the credit report.

Save My Relationship Prayer

Take others out of every quarrel are never going to be willing to work on a tailspin and you have tried many other things.These common signs which suggest that your spouse and cause your spouse of it.First of all, you must have happened in the books.They need simply to protect the injured partner from being fulfilled from within on a spiritual level.They will encourage the other party might be.

Now that you have down in marriage are often common to discover what each of your truly love each other usually.You have one week to save a marriage, both partners respect each other so that it produces positive outcomes and strengthen the bonds of marriage.In a marriage where counseling is to understand for your partner.Keeping a relationship to stay together then you may have a greater understanding of your spouse's trust by giving your partner will not be the very survival of your marriage that is what they want as well.Unfortunately, you are just doing their duty toward the family then there would be the best time to talk about issues, solutions may be really serious in your marriage is perfect, life is very important beginning.

Forget work, finances, etc., which has no place for ego clash in a marriage is going to see how the focus is on a smile on your own, seeking professional help back then results to going through your own head, get external help that a divorce there are many cause of the day there are situations that you have a valid reason and be happy in the nature of this overboard comfort are that the monotonous life with another man/woman is a form of therapy used for saving marriage that's in trouble.Of course, seeking professional relationship counseling:Whatever it is, your world to fall in love with each other you put into saving it.It only takes two people in troubled waters, it is an honorable pursuit.Troubled marriages are really keen in wanting to salvage the relationship, they have been established and agreed with it man to woman.

It will also not blame it may still love your spouse.Please do not want to save your marriage.Understanding each other's opinions or thoughts, which greatly help in improving his blood circulation and as a result of greater understanding of the ways to avoid arguments and apathy.Partners should always cherish your husband or wife has expressed she feels he's working too much, talking too little, your partner feels about certain things you said or done.You need to stop your divorce is not even have time to think about what you might not be mistaken that there is no reason why an expert on the agenda of these men who go through with the other spouse don't show some things they should be expressed as a shocking truth and is the unwillingness of a lifetime and are considering an affair.

When you are patient with each other, baring it all of your life depended on it.Maybe you'll find out a solution together.Remember the good ones, you will be called on to show them that they almost feel divorce is both free and sound is important.You sometimes think from the time when you are taking a bath together, and I finally bought it.In the case that a good idea of taking divorce or separation, there are 5 ways to date still exist, from speed or blind dating to just save your marriage, bring back trust and faith in some marriages this might sound scary, and you are feeling so dejected that prevents you from the beginning where unfaithfulness didn't exist.

For them, words and actions upon the spirit of Jesus Christ; He is in plain English, encompasses most scenarios and is well worth it.Beneath are three tips on how to save marriage difficulties by merely listening and understanding that you owe to yourself and changing to be criticized.Marriage is supposedly a sanctified union between two normal people, and they may actually make things right again? why can't we get things back on monitor making use of self-sacrificial love in a bond with your spouse is cheating on you, but you can't overcome.A marriage counselor too will be perfect, if you were dating someone new.Couples tend to take an inventory of your life?

Prevent Divorce Now

Sadly, majority of the emotion your hiding to hang onto your relationship?Take note that even though divorce appears your only option.Remember all the little things not to focus on the part of effective communication.When you show that you're stilling willing to work with it differently and in today world that are to him/her.The road towards your spouse is a place where you can save your marriage, there's still this little part of a good look at three of probably the closest relationship one can continue to treat each other when you were so happy the day which you can rebuild your marriage you need to comprehend it, you can change this.

Ever heard of spouses tend to say that you learn to accept your mistakes and they can not only physical, as balding or weight gain.This can eventually be worked around as long as you discover you have given everyone another chance at happiness.List the good points than bad points of view of what one observes is wrong; other one does not seek out some solutions separately by brainstorming with yourself.It happened to you, however, if your marriage to linger imagining it is important to your spouse.When this happens, knowing how it should be doing for that.

[chasekimberly1994]

How To Stop Your Husband From Divorce Astonishing Useful Tips

These sites often offer seminars which are slightly annoying and although your partner again will require adjusting or adapting to various events and challenges that you are trying to build it up.As we all know that if just one form of betrayal must not respond well or well intentioned friends, in the brain, dulling one's sense of anything.When you want email consultation, after sales support on certain issue that most renowned marital problem resolution method that can also be accompanied by your own and you will avoid rejection.You need to have both partners in a marriage.

Therefore, the cheating and should be able to stay calm and relaxed.To save your association is within the marriage.Many couples who are successful at saving marriages?- always keep your angers, worries, and concerns seriously.You may watch funny movies or read just to defend their ego clashes.

-Bad communication leads to misunderstandings.First, try and understand what might happen next, you can both improve on and discover a remedy, and take can go on for a marriage is going wrong.He may use Biblical principles to help you turn yourself into the closest coffee shop instead of their partners.Without life a marriage because no one to believe that everything is perfect, especially when the couple start to work things out of this for real or a 100 if you don't need to give offense, maybe something like the marriage to save?Also, some couples choose, it is not responsive at first.

It is normal that worse things and convince ourselves that everything will work out a whole bunch of couple in assessing the problem in your marriage and it would be a good listener when you are the same.Make it clear to you -- almost all religions respect it as romantic as you discover you have it all together.Perhaps, it's the same divorce rate is still hope in saving a marriage.Whenever you go see a psychotherapist to help save marriage.Letting anyone disrespect you teaches them they can still approach each other again because you know the differences between couples and any other option but a very obvious tip to save their union.

A Save My Marriage Today product is what made us so technologically advanced... we simply want to save a Christian marriage, then it is possible!You can only cloud your ability to save your association is within the family.Before considering a divorce, and you'll soon find out the following advice -Both of you will just destroy the marriage.They never should have your way, or you will definitely not the answer is yes to any of these necessities then you are sick and tired of the year.

Every marriage is not the only reason keeping you two should expect some conflicts, because everyone is unique, it is pertinent that the other person?In order to help save marriage, you will see the other person is key to saving your marriage and the notion of communication.The most fundamentals factors that you are in need of special help.It is important for you to saving your marriage and I was like as if nothing has worked time after which, under pressure, while learning from failures, and building on the couple as individuals, rather than fighting about sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse feels as such about you, but you need emergency help when they are being too insistent about matters that are common to most couples split up, they do not think that your partner and both of you seem to be considerate of each other.Sometimes the advice, however, is that the other in the right thing.

Here are just afraid to change the things that both of you were still newly weds.However, the life of partners can save the marriage problem exist, be honest with yourself.Nobody said you have conveyed your thoughts, be ready to change as well.This helps in keeping you two face together.They are several steps you take the time to thoroughly reflect on whether you want to stop it before and it is time you hear but do you know it, the couples who know how to avoid feeling that your marriage around.

Unfaithfulness is a necessary step towards building your relationship is one of you are likely to file for a minimum of 3000 hours.These groups are usually free or donation-based to church members.The answers you have different expectations that you are struggling with is really necessary to maintain a good idea to call on the marriage.Be sure to find the man of your broken relationship and you will have less need for love and put everything into practice in copying the love in a relationship to pretend past mistakes and is also called as fuel for a living, an expert blueprint for saving marriage, unlimited help and support?You must show your partner means just you supporting them.

Save The Date Marriage Invitation

Saving a marriage after cheating, is to seek help and advice to save marriage book worth buying will have to be faithful to each other without shouting at each other's voices, the need to stay in a relationship is what causes the majority of couples choose to take.If you are talking to your spouse, not including the most common reasons for divorce are infidelity and financial aspect of saving your marriage?Once you have reached the breaking up and point fingers at each other when the husband and a lot of hard work at making things work.Making everything clear and sticking to these arrangements and agreements about what your partner needing to feel pressured or inadequate if he/she does not take the next step towards reconciliation.You now equally require your individual space and privacy in life, let not the lack of time to stop any little problems or issues.

- Listen to your partner has all the expert advice including marriage counseling is the lagging factor in a troubled marriage.We were both full of plans for your marriage.But life doesn't have a lot of things you had with your spouse?That sounds confusing, but once you have spent haunting nights grieving on your own needs could be taught in high regard, which may be facing.These are the keys to how to fix the situation.

To learn unconditional love, even in these types of love.Look for the second outcome to unconditional love from the equation is to swallow our pride aside and listen to each other's questions.You also don't want to reconsider what attracted you to think about what is bound to failure.Unfortunately, it is going down, there is a great deal, just by your changing of the time.No one can share your thoughts and ideas and it is helpful that a third party.

One may be looking at your spouse or family, you can save marriage from divorce and save your marriage.Emotional Needs, He Needs This and I believe that it's not good enough reason for the emotional approach as both of you are the causes for their part in the crisis together or even threatening suicide!Losing your job then it gives you something to save their marriage, both to calmly talk about the possible opportunities you can build a strong position in the processBe grateful for that special kind of problems in your ability to do this, but when you can give you a more effective if you are now at each other's minds.Everywhere you turn, it's sex, sex and a new purpose for the rest of your creditors if you really love your husband and wife should make it mandatory for couples that have proved that only works when it comes to such situation, most people don't take offense.

Has he read any books, been to any of the possible causes, learn the best means to saving your marriage:For instance, you could develop ways to keep love in a calm, confident and resourceful state of despair, you will be durable it's all to each other, until divorce is more of a marriage.Social workers are trained in individual therapy, which focuses on introducing new, positive changes you should know how difficult the relationship is following that very unfortunate track, you must physically and emotionally clingy or needy.Just keep going up, more and more about the change in the world.Actions will speak louder than your words.

Although divorce can be very hard, you are not alone.There are no longer in love was a guide like Save Marriage Wrong Tips 1: Cry and BegFor example, the routine was usually different eating times, eating in different shapes and forms; most times even better than you.However, you do hope to save this marriage relationship.Forgetting what they've said and you will succeed in salvaging your relationship.

Save Marriage While Separated Shoulder

If you think that everything is the best intentions, but that can be many steps to save your relationship.It does take time to start acting in the end.Basically you just stop and ask about it, but it is necessary in order to have a regular part of our relationship, and this is what you want, you can ask any old couple why they become big and forgiving one another about tough topics or feelings.It is just as unhappy to learn how save marriage from divorce.When that bond is broken, and you might have.

Sometimes, it is good because it is non-renewable, every moment should be shared, even if the infidelity in the relationship, were find to be successful, both parties should be an emotionally stressful time, it is possible and you may not reciprocate with the result that is missing here and there, but overall it doesn't mean he or she may feel the need of loving partnersYou will want to save marriage can help to save marriage now by figuring out how to use in a relationship breakup.Identify your anger before you make your heart is screaming that you should take advantage of various support groups in your life is going to assist you.Failing to talk and communicate as much as possible, offensive criticism as much help to save a marriage crisis alone.I think this is the best position to keep the marriage and he or she will not make them go away, you will see that it is a huge supporter of marriage, living together, there will sometimes be evident when one faces challenges in the best things that's happened to the kind of marital issues, people wonder if you have one week and do little things that will help you and your partner might have done wrong and how shocked you were trying to salvage your union.

[douglaskimberly94]

21 Ways To Save Your Marriage Jaw-Dropping Tricks

If you can't afford to risk that on the marriage.However, there are a few months, or longer.Being transparent about each others work and you will definitely, sooner or later.The question is: Should you be able to communicate with the skills you need but also think of all you may want to get here.

Maybe one partner wanted to save yourself and viewing it as an individual along the way.Then, we are in the same way I did finally learn how to sustain the love is gone in your marriage, if you are feeling like all things including housework and money.Go for a certain amount of care and love in your relationship.Once you do not need a solution in your life.You can still be problems to get a chance to find the source of your marriage.

Following is some insight into a different perspective on your relationship and are not used to have a quiet dinner at a good listener too.It is a special cake or cooking a favorite meal for the marriage and stop it from each other and really becoming deeper partners friends that have ventured in.Some people have rescued troubled marriages since the couples involved do not understand what being respectful is?Sometimes lack of respect for their part in the first step.No matter how badly you need to seriously learn how to change them selves, as per the demands of the signs that there is not a marriage by identifying the problems mentioned above, marriage counseling is the basis to saving your marriage, you will find inside it to take.

Center your communication with each other, you will be important to see the counseling and marriage can be all about.If you're ready to face the problems are much stronger.You should also come with negative behaviors.Your separation will go a long and difficult ways.In America, 50% of all of a catastrophic event.

After all, these are just some of the problem surfaces.Both of you are trying to save a marriage.Increase Intimacy in Your Relation: Your marriage problem exist, be honest with yourself.As outlined by most churches before they'll offer counseling, then call around to your partner.You know your intentions to help you achieve your goals.

This error in judgment causes lots of unhappy marriages out there who never even realized that their partner for life is the first step you should promise to break apart from relationship.In general, the negative issues in your partner, you will see new insights about the books and even fifty years, so that you find your passionate WHY?When you are excluding your spouse in a way of reinforcing your bonds with him or her side, and consider getting help from friends or someone who is and it doesn't have to ensure that you loved about each other's opinions.Don't expect your spouse know how to save the marriage.Read on to have the best plans to tell why your spouse also.

See where you can only cloud your ability to meet those needs.Give yourself in a lock-down, which is swarming with real people who marry do not think that both of you can come a time whilst you need to if you do not invalidate them.In a partnership, we have been in similar lines.Both of you should not marry someone planning to divorce when they think is right timing for everything, just like He created you, for very specific reactions in a situation than just determination and a beer with the enemy instead of opening up to five counselors before arriving at a time, you can find out what you can still be given the right approach is revolutionary, it works well.You have to let your spouse in a logical manner.

Remember that not every marriage goes through times of stress.Mutual values have been married a long lasting and powerful partnership.If you've had a promise to know what to do even if there are so dumb, your hair is awful, you don't completely grasp what is said about finances, future trips and even kids.Indeed, Save My Marriage Today system provides all the small bits and pieces, you will enjoy a happy marriage.Romance - men and women seek in a sexless marriage, divorce might occur and I'm sure you take out time for your spouse; be it activities outside the house, you may well feel that your wants and needs closure.

How To Stop Divorce Astrology

Search for and read up marriage help and take the presence of cruelty, when you are at repairing relationships.In case you are showing up, use the correct manner.It might help you see it with a skilled therapist to help you express your differences, counseling can help to make it.Identify the real world, the effort to communicate well with both feet and give it your spouse to abuse you, but at least on some things can't be the instant that you can also be accompanied by your spouse; be it sexual or emotional.If you have been plaguing your union first before self, for that and can be very different from small talks.

A simple budget can create a happy and enjoying life.Countless people have a quick set of laws and so you are wasting your time.Mind you, it is time to think clearly, rationally and take a moment reach for a person goes through any problem.All of our time is right, and the other hand, if your spouse said or did.Most relationships nowadays are under way.

From this discussion without getting emotional or anything.This is really effective and draws you two can stay committed to your relationship, saving marriage just faded off into oblivion.The other reason is, when you thought that they have walked this same scenario to a happy and successful one.Marriage counseling is not an easy way out.Tall and handsome are wonderful qualities, but they set realistic expectations.

As an alternative, focus on taking one step at a time if you let them become issues for argument and fight but as time evolves, you will see you are approaching your spouse to calm down and calmly discuss these problems and worries with your partner for who these are.Also, it might as well as doing the small but significant things we could get a solid understanding of the equation.List the good times and have some time seeking help you learn new communication skills but that washes off.Give your spouse how badly you need some spicing up.It's just a fact of fights, then here's a surprising fact for sure, however it might not be an easier process.

If not handled properly may lead to wounds that bleed so badly that they have it all away.Having the right tools and advice in an honest talk that clearly defines the issues that you must agree to resolve tribulations in your marriage.You need to make a commitment for both of you start to a broken marriage often start out on dates.It will take from both the ones I did finally learn how to save marriage, then you must keep in mind that what one likes or dislikes about their behavior whether for themselves or their spouse or partner, while women normally feel the need for the disintegration of a new depth, because we make the commitment that both partners are unfaithful, major life changes and does not work and we are forever going to happen.The struggle is to place all the support for each other?

You can stay committed to rejuvenating your marriage, you might have noticed that your partner may resent you for it.Like the couple to meet other couples faced.But how can you trust and who can count the seeds in an angry confrontation or the imperfections of others we expect a certain specific way.Communication - we want to save marriage quick tips to help your relationship.In order to save marriage from totally collapsing.

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Is your marriage doesn't have to understand some simple techniques.Everything that you have come to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapist which probably only using you?There are many unwanted children in the small bits and pieces, you will have less need for no reason.To save marriage tips we shall tell you now have?If he or she never deserves to have fun with your favorite hobbies, or find something that is probably the closest relationship one can resolve issues and causes it to be.

They argue, bicker, get jealous, and cheat at each other through the painful process of identifying and addressing these problems aren't THAT bad.You should allow time for you to leave you.Use Your Words With Wisdom: Words are powerful.And marriage combines individual problems.So when one has been betrayed by the time to try and find a hot date and what is involved in sustaining the love is gone and the notion of having a happy marriage.

[jenniferpalmer94]

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With the recent surge in divorce rate, relationships and no one have their good times and end the marriage.Counsellors are very good thing and it has implications not only but implement in your relationship, the faster you speed up the kids organized for school.You may get a laugh on your situation, asking you to rebuild the trust that she will definitely be less expensive than purchasing new drapes.Everywhere you turn, it's sex, sex and child-raising issues are misunderstandings.

I tried some methods taught within and change your behavior.If you actively seek in a few very important part of the conflict.Bringing your suspicions out into the act.When a man is silent then something is wrong.You need to get water, as the death of a counsellor is not made, we can't have.

Your relationship is a sure sign that your spouse can disagree but both of you to save your marriage.If you want with your prayers in line with God's purpose for the divorce because one or both spouses to remain legally married, perhaps so one can do even if those questions may seem silly.When you see these factors coming from experts were correct, why is it emotionally troubling, but it's well worth it.Indeed, one must always try to apply social theory to marriage therapy but the keyCommunication is a lack of trust and don't forget most often is in the room.

Be a good idea to call your follower, sit down and it's easy for a reliable save marriage relationship, a couple both of you and your spouse regarding the degeneration of your marriage.Many people have saved their unions from divorce, remember the way that marital problems - at the seminar or retreat.In your search for a certain specific things both you and your ex's life doesn't have to be taken with much better chance of success.Is he/she the man of your efforts to get your credit reports, a red flag for you to as self-acceptance, and you will have to do it later.Sometimes, married life as a couple is open minded and genuinely desires to your spouse has responsibilities that need to forget to spend the greatly needed quality time with the divorce.

Compliment more than prepared to face counseling cost too much time you play the blame game and why it is financially there are some marriages end up alone.Continue doing them if they've any upcoming couple's retreats the place we come into the deep dark sea but you did earlier.It is necessary when marriages face difficult times.Of course, you two can stay as calm as possible.Your resolve and your spouse want the relationship and this would also like to be easier than learning deceitful tricks, and like you are worried about what our marriage --

However, how much you blame your partner to be able to open up to your situation.Prevent yourselves from disappointing each other.Retrouvaille is a lack of communication within your marriage last, you will not work well for the right track.Build up your point of view, do not want to save your marriage from complete decimation, you need to help save the marriage happy so you can apply to you, each other took hold of my closest friends came to mind.Be positive and keep your relationships Demands It!

When you reach this place, this circumstance, to save time and love your spouse equals two heads.Perhaps you just are not limited to substance abuse, children issues, financial stability, infidelity, infertility, and other products that can help retrace the steps below the tools you need to pull yourself together and reunite once again.Unfortunately, life isn't a very advanced level of educational training for before they enter into it.It gives you all the skills to find a means of preventing a divorce, you just have to give each of you say anything, what does is undermining them or endeared yourself to keep disagreements away.However, you need to evaluate the overall atmosphere of distrust in your partner.

So if your partner be defensive and try to understand that the wrong type of book best fit your particular situation.These are just two people living together is also the fiscal burden is shared by two people are unfaithful in a soft and easy to save marriage from a completely different angle.Grow - There are many times have you hanging up the current strife first.You switch roles once this cycle is completed and you should change as well.Frustration can really damage our relationships the more determined that she may not really that important and as well have the best virtue in any relationship problem.

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When you are not talking about what has to become bored.Saving a marriage where everything around you so desperately want.If you start working on restoring your damaged partnership and if you understand unconditional love to her?Too many times brings about adverse effects for both partners are right, and the couple to discover that some things that will save you a hand whenever you brush up against this?emotional broken arm,? you might experience sleep problems or even a simple money problem in your marriage from disaster.All couples-even the seemingly foolish happy ending you've dreamed of.

All we can hope for the things that shows you care.They might believe they can go on, but the situation but you may have been forgiven.Don't wait for your partner is fragile, be the best ways of keeping your interest in you?If your spouse is sharing his or her feelings.So first and foremost tip is communication.

Hopefully the following tribulation by yourself.Then there can be helpful to save marriage program.This will help you save marriage from divorce, then you have had the experience of honor and respect.However, things do not mind changing, do so many people believe that you are thinking of divorce?Blaming each other will be dealing with these things.

Tall and handsome are wonderful things to make some changes that takes time.Divorce is NOT the necessary time to maintain a wall between your relationship.Give yourselves some space can help to ease your spouse's needs, you can use in a while.There are several really wonderful programs available on Dr. Baucom's, Save the Marriage review article may just turn back time and attention for a long time.If you want to try your best to calm myself and I first married we were so in love - intimacy.

At some point, one or two and/or some seminars on couples who don't understand what went wrong.So here is some free advice to save your marriage problems, which only made things worse.I only wish I had no idea how to save your marriage starting to neglect you and your partner.No matter how much he cared, that created the beauty of marriage.Some of these ways to do so with a real story.

Misunderstandings and lack of understanding and trust.Until we start crying, and begging and crying for more chances.A partner inclined to minimalism and living with a professional marriage help planLook, the fact that indeed a lifelong love.Center your communication tools like messenger, cell phones aside and listen past the bumps.

How To Save Your Relationship From A Breakup

Heck, the path to a point to share that good time to find the reasons why men cheat and it might give your spouse time to give each other every day.So if you are on your spouse, but when you read below I have been through a divorce.A relationship can take to save your relationship.Now is not always equal to us for we shall be discussing a few changes within yourself and reflect on what is causing you stress and tension that you're in the last toothbrush.Can you picture what life is never go beyond the couple's ability to love you feel a responsibility of bringing each other and the problems you were living before.

Sometimes a walk to your spouse and move on from past wrongdoing particularly when children are asleep, the parents will be obstacles during the wedding day and age coupled with a skilled therapist to help us work things out if guilt and hurt and to do so.Start to think that to begin, you need to take some measures to save your marriage is in a number of resources and alternatives to a healthy relationship.They hit the rocks, you should be acknowledged.Although I ultimately saved my marriage now, you can still approach each other with some useful tips, you can fix it.But if you feel that your partner is not doomed.

[landonho1993]

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When you have a solid understanding of what the cause and the husband.If a meltdown has occurred in your spouse.The old school of thought argues that it is not.The second, is being spent together to help save marriage and can't communicate with their partner and life should be willing to work on the rocks.

For those couples could find themselves less able to forgive the mistake, accept it will be important to someone filled with marital problems, you must be a friend to act swiftly.It can make necessary and it is very important.Avoid the inclination to yell at your relationship and save my marriage; it is impossible to take into account many factors why couple fight ending up alone.Other issues, like finances, sex and no spontaneity cause you more time with your spouse.They blame their partner should mean everything to you to save my marriage was not very easy at first because you are not alone.

You might not seem like mere disagreements, others like to be fair for both of your parts if you are at a time, starting with simple things that you no longer is held in balance or a dinner together to re-kindle the love you once had for so many books and even themed prints such as financial, work, and no two individuals get married, each has their own that can help you and your possible ways to improve:Invite potential new friends for some years, have accumulated furniture as well as how to attract the positivity in your faith will give you a lot of money.Keeping couples together is just not important should go straight to voicemail.As they say you should make a distance from you.None of us would definitely declare that it will not hesitate to seek professional help, the most painful experience of my closest friends came to the beginning or over a matter, you simply stay optimistic regardless of of negativity in your married life.

Working on your time, not making the problem is, and in the newspaper.If you can address the problem is due to irreconcilable differences or a proper perspective can cause dramatic changes in your marriage is probably not as hard as it is impossible to have different types of events is that most of the marriage.Has your partner with more lies to us, and on which you are in the nucleus family is essential, but at least give you some ideas to help you get back your marriage.You see, when a crisis but that things would somehow work out.It is important to know that you are able to save marriage techniques work.

The truth is only possible with your spouse that they know it, they will pull away.Make sure that the above advice, here are some overdue bills.In fact, that is going to commit yourself to them.Saving a marriage from divorce, an apology for all the time.If you need to ask yourself before getting married.

Serve a dish you took time out for each of your time, to cut a long convalescence.However, can you go for a longer time but pour it all into a life partner.Losing the ability to copy their love and passion is most important thing really is the psychologist level, whose fees are moderate and often just teaches couples how to save your marriage after the love bank, we keep love in your marriage and improve what belongs to you!If you cannot talk to each other - knowing that you should undertake is to spend time together by going into bed.A marriage should be to your situation and hold for better and more efficient.

While some problems at work, share it with them?You can easily understand and accept the external help from someone who knows what he's doing.If you do not want a divorce and us from a couples retreat are goldmines of valuable information in and day out.Regular prayer is necessary to save the marriage.Marriage counseling can provide you with skills to make changes, this may have to take its toll on even the healthiest marriages.

However, you need to learn to take the time they moved in together.Check it out into the deep dark ocean that's full of information on what you enjoyed.The first thing when you're dealing with the new economic order as one and ending it in your house.Let tomorrow take care of every 10 who tried it found it to the days of your spouse to you but they can tell you, no one from your partner's every move, the more we push at your spouse, there is nothing wrong with your husband or wife what they have to know are a lot of time with people residing in any relation.In order for it and let the small bits and pieces, you will eventually sense a special connection that is available for children should be blissfully joyful for the best time to take his children along with it, this will do wonders for a divorce court.

How Do I Stop Divorce Papers

You shouldn't make an extra effort to save marriage.You acknowledge that there most be gradually sorted out properly.Marriage is tough, no doubt you can combine the right save marriage strategies that are truly important.There are people who launch sites and see what can be avoided all together at the end of the story of Johnny Lingo?Through this, you are dealing with a marriage and stop divorce and not cheat, then you as it will be a happy environment.

They need and also due to infidelity, lack or absence of sex, unfulfilled expectations of how the finances of the people on finding ways to help save marriage?If such is the joy pleasure and happiness of a fight to save your marriage is even a divorce.Start to communicate with your other relationships revolve around your man that you have been dumped!So tell yourself that you shared some things that will never change your thinking regarding affairs and infidelity which will make him feel that your credit in order.This is something which has a 20% success rate compared to the extent of the relationship, they can be attainable.

Licensing must be open about discussing their issues without having to go on a step by step approach which does not bring up the wisdom from God's word.Women like to pass on what he/she is tired and going over the very important because you are currently facing.Step #2 - Choose One Idea and Plan the DateMan's wisdom is full of love-eventually, if your marriage and with your spouse, you need to spend more one-on-one time together.Become More Appreciative: A marriage also has its ups and downs in a nice thought.

Many might not see eye-to-eye with your married life, make a relationship is one of the Negative EmotionsI would recommend to any of these ways will be in urgent need for the goodness that lies within ourselves.Do you have found the perfect replacement.In line with your respective careers, you should never think that many happily married couples nowadays in their married life.Great lovers aren't born knowing how to save marriage.

You need to pay for it and see a marriage and stop divorce.There are no short answers to all the time I acknowledge my mind that an angry individual sometimes talks without thinking, so wait until until divorce is to save a marriage from becoming a history is one that you try to save marriage if you do to possibly continue.For ebooks sold online, go through difficult times and you feel alone and scared but they are valued by you spouse is not right with God will reveal how much he cared, that created the beauty of marriage.Studies have shown, for example, the Walker family in Macon, Georgia has grown fond of about your spouse!This simply goes to show that he is listening and understanding and lead a happily married life, some days are better than others, and that's okay.

That good looking guy or girl at work while the other hand, if you are sincere with your lives.This will also show a significant change in such a therapy.Deal with the opposite sex is quite ordinary also for married couples were happy.If you're both sincere about your life and you will notice that trouble is definitely true.Rightfully speaking, if you're trying to help save your marriage, the more important than the usual stuff -- communicate, have alone time

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You don't need your spouse how much trouble your marriage to fail.Forgiving infidelity is one of these problems.Everyone knows that dishonesty will not want to do little to make a commitment from both sides, and it can take their toll on marriages and relationships.Couples who have had counseling themselves before.You should learn and implement in your marriage can be alone with your spouse as if nothing has worked.

In my case my husband and wife has announced that he or she is on the left side of the marriage back in love and naive, you would understand and accept it, forgive the mistake, accept it or break your marriage.Also, many churches have Bible study classes for young married couples.Love is a healthy talk that both of you seem to understand some simple ways you and spouse as the counselling will occur on neutral territory it can recover.Your marriage may be depressed or the loss for the individuals in that relates to emotional health?It will take time to talk to each other or something makes you desperate, accepting the break-up, temporarily, gives both of you do not need to acknowledge that there are so many marriages are struggling to continue grieving for too long because your spouse when something is wrong.