#sometimes cook good grub

[sorcerous-caress]

I'm so jealous of Daniil. Having only played the Haruspex route so far in both game, each time I'm invited to the Bachelor's place I turn green with envy at how he resides at an actual proper house with a real room and a real bed.

A real bed with a whole bedframe. A pillow with an actual pillowcase!! His bed even has sheets!

He has WINDOWS. His house is in a nice neighbourhood, and his roommate is a very attractive woman. There is actual furniture in his room. Not one hint of fungus growing on the walls or rust!

Can you imagine living there as your lair? Spending the whole game knowing you have a real house with a real bed to go back to at the end of each night? Seeing Eva's face every day before leaving to do quests?

Meanwhile, Artemy is stuck in this dumpster room of an abandoned factory. Cuddling with rats on his makeshift bed, held by nothing but a wooden panel, some boxes and a dream.

A pillow so yellow it has its own ecosystem where bugs established real estate. Is that even a pillow or is it some random rock Artemy found and chucked in there? Is it a stale loaf of bread?? Why is it hard looking?

But no, you don't even get to keep the rock roach pillow because in P2, they take it away.

Fuck you Artemy, you had it good for too long. No pillow now because what are you gonna do about it?. Fold your mattress instead to have a resemblance of a faux sense of protection under your most vital organ during the long hours of death rehearsal that you call sleep.

Somehow, they made the bed even more unstable looking. As if that thin panel in the middle could hold Artemy's weight without caving in. Oh, and apparently, I ran out of boxes to use for furniture because the bed and the table have to share custody of the same box.

We have downgraded into barrels now, as you can see :) No, I don't know what they used to contain inside.

Waking up every day to Sticky's snotty face telling me not to spit in the wind and nagging me about cleaning up the week-old human organs thrown around that are stinking up the place.

THERE IS MOLD GROWING ON MY WALLS. RUST FLAKES FALL FROM THE EXPOSED METAL PIPES DOWN INTO MY CEREAL EACH BREAKFAST.

This single wall holds so much mold and fungus that they started crossbreeding and evolved into new, never seen before types of bacteria. Satan's asscrack is more hygienic than whatever biohazard plagues of Egypt this slab of concrete contains.

I live in the gutters. My only neighbours are an illegal gang of minors with a hatred for furries and another illegal gang but of adults this time who sell me bullets way above the market price. A dangerous neighbourhood where you can't have shit because SOMEONE STOLE MY BULL.

The basement I reside in has no windows, the smell is pungent and fucking vile down here. There isn't even a space for a bathroom.

This is my kitchenette/bathroomette/showerette/cupboardette/surgery tools disinfection stationette/sinkette/watercoolerette/toilette/fridge.

also my buckets yk.

One bucket for the makeshift bathroom, another for holding important organs and loose guts during surgery, a third one as a cooking pot for making tasty meat grub soup and the final one for murky water after sweeping the floor.

What do I use to tell them apart? Oh nothing :) I just mix em up every now and then, oppsie daisy.

Oh and the floors are CONSTANTLY wet for some reason. Yeah sticky slipped and almost broke his neck the other day so watch your steps.

There is also this eerie room with literal garbage and broken furniture right next to the entrance. Don't worry about it, sometimes I hear someone crying and screaming for help when I'm trying to go to sleep but it's just the factory being silly lol.

Now this? This is where the M A G I C happens. This is where Artemy the Menkhu makes his famous herbal remedies and natural mixtures. This is where the Panacea for the infamous sand plague gets made!

In a rusty empty food can.

Falling into a bucket with shit stains.

MEDICINE BABBYYY. GET YOUR WEAK SOFT BONED ASS BACK TO THE CAPITAL BITCH, THIS IS HOW REAL MEN MAKE REAALLL MEDICINE!! RAWRRRRR🦅🦅💥💥

Meanwhile, dickovsky has the view of the cathedral and polyhedron just around the corner from where he resides. He has a backyard with a lake, and all I have is a swamp behind my basement. I trudge through the mud each night, collecting weeds and herbs to mix and trade so I and the two orphans who adopted themselves into my life don't go starving.

Not to mention the gaggles of herb brides loitering outside and giving me a false bad reputation.

That dandy douchbag has a pharmacy, a grocery, and a tailor right next door. The closest establishment to my shrekcore place of resident is a dingy basement bar with shady drinks and no bouncer to check for ID, I saw two kids in there once.

Pov: a qt3.14 surgeon says his dad isn't home and invites you over.

[madwomansapologist]

doubt comes in | bg3 companions

Meet Kind!Druid!Tav | More Weirdos | AO3

synopsis: You knew exactly what would welcome you back to camp. The alluring smell of Gale's cooking, the awful noises of Lae'zel working on a sword that don't need to be sharpened, Wyll practicing his dance moves. You clearly weren't expecting to see yourself. Or to be forced into fighting the companions you swore to never harm in order to prove Orin was playing with their minds. [3.4K]

warnings: orin being orin. well, you, actually. "prove who's the real you" trope. i mean imagine the level of anxiety that scenario induces because you want me to act like me? kitten, mommy don't fucking know who she is. bg3 level of violence. a lot of blood. body horror should be a tag? tav suffers slashing damage, but orin suffers psychic damage. angst. happy ending. shadowheart x tav x halsin. companions (lae'zel, astarion, gale, wyll, karlach, jaheira, minsc). camp followers (yenna, scratch, grub). background (orin, gortash, mizora, shar, cazador, silvanus).

Reaching Baldur's Gate didn't made life easier, but Gods did it helped. Danger is near, sometimes closer than a kiss, but this city is still your home. They can try, but no one can take that away from any of you.

Mizora can bargain and dissemble, but no lie coming from her burning lips will ever change the fact Wyll would do anything for this city. He had his first kiss in one of those bars. Gortash is a threat, but did he started counting his days? Karlach is coming for him, and he had it coming. She can still remember the vinegar taste on her mouth after her first spree.

Shar had her time to mess with Shadowheart's memories, to turn goodness into fear and desires into guilty. Shadowheart is learning how to swin. Long ago, before Cazador could even think of looking at him, Astarion walked on those streets. Cazador can see him as a walking corpse if he so desire, something that fell into decay, but Astarion is alive and free forever and evermore.

The world is a freaking mess, but so be it. That won't stop you from living. That won't stop any of you.

"Soldier! Over here," Karlach called for you, up on The Blushing Mermaid's balcony. You dodged the drunkards and ran upstairs to their table. They saved a seat for you. They always do. "What took you so long?"

They're always teasing you for being so controlling with their gold. That was an act of survival, to save for what matters, but now that you reached the city... You're still controlling it, Silvanus knows Astarion would waste it all without noticing, but you can allow your party some luxury from time to time.

You put the bags under the table, careful to not let them see what was inside them. "Just lost track of time," you sat between her and Minsc. "Did I miss much?"

You turned around, looking for a waiter, but a glass was dragged from across the table towards you. Halsin, sitting across from you at the round table, had already ordered your favorite drink. He always knows what you want even before you say it.

Your smile was subtle, the glass already rising to hide your mouth. You didn't use words to thank him, but your foot met his under the table. You dragged it along his leg, a hidden affection. A secret between you two.

"Oh, yes, Boo. Minsc agrees, her smile really seens different," Minsc whispered. Boo moved on his shoulder, sniffing around. "What are you hiding, my gentle friend?"

Perfume of night orchids, clothes fit for a vampire or whatever Astarion means by that, a recently released tome of evocation, instruments to improve weapons, a music box for a dancing hero, owlbear cub plush, new whittling knifes, a book about adventures Jaheira wasn't part of but is still somehow the main character, and stone sculpture of a certain miniature giant space hamster. "Nothing," you answered.

Halsin chuckled. "There is nothing you can't do, my heart. Except by lying, I must add."

"I just bought a few presents," it sounded almost defensive. Alright, maybe you really were a bit too controlling of the gold. Just a bit. "I'll give them after dinner."

Karlach chocked on her beer. "Are you feeling well, soldier? Have anyone forced you to waste your precious gold?"

"There is a hero coming through to help you, my friend," Minsc hit the table with closed fists. Your drink almost fell on your lap. "Tell Minsc who forced you and his boot shall find your wrongdoer!"

Karlach and Minsc tried to see what were in the bags during the walk back to camp, and you protected them with your life. They started a game of guessing what you had bought, never realizing you weren't participating on it.

Halsin took the bags from you, and with his free hand caressed yours. He kissed your knuckles, then your forehead. You melted against his touch. "Is it duck related?"

You chuckled, eyes still closed. "Fuck off, Bear."

Finally at camp, Halsin followed you to your tent .You saw when Wyll walking out of his tent, hair dripping wet, and smiled at him. Karlach and Minsc sat by the bonfire, still arguing about the possibility of receiving an ax as a gift.

You told Halsin to close his eyes so you could hide everything. "Alright, done."

You walked towards the bonfire, but Halsin grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. You linked your arms around his neck, ready to stand on tiptoe. "It's on your black chest, isn't it?"

You sighed, walking away from him. He tried to stop you, but you dodged Halsin easily. "Of course not," you lied. And he could tell.

You used a branch to stir the fire. You had the feeling it would be a cold night. Yenna was near it, stroking Grub's fur, and smiled at you. So young, so innocent. So unfair.

Lae'zel and Jaheira carried pans with food to the large table Gale conjured, and nodded on your direction. "Fifteen minutes, cub," said Jaheira. "Weren't you on watch?"

You denied with a movement of your head. Jaheira isn't the one to get confused with watches, neither are you. After all, you both organized all shifts.

"Are you hungry?" You stroke Yenna's hair, ignoring Grub in order to not scare him away. Kneeled in front of her, you threw the branch far away. Scratch ran to catch it. "I have strawberry and hon..."

"What the fuck is that?!"

You turned to Karlach, your sword suddenly so heavy on your side. She looked perfectly fine. Following her gaze, you understood it.

Shadowheart had her spear on hands, back from first watch to supper. And besides her, with a hand on the half-elf's waist, stood you.

One thing you can't deny Orin: that bitch is creative. You admit, it was smart. Half of the party left with you, half stayed at camp. It was only a matter of chosing the right moment to appear, making sure to say only the right words, and everything would work on her favor.

Smart, until she wasn't anymore. Because instead of aiming your companions quietly without raising doubts, you are back now. She is surrounded by the enemy. Cornered by her own actions.

You smiled to Yenna, her scared eyes shone upon you. "I need you to close your eyes. Can you do that for me?" As she put her tiny hands in front of her face, you raised from the floor. The smile was still there. "Orin."

She was behind you, but you knew Karlach made Nyrulna find a way to her hands. He's not on your vision field, but you promise Silvanus you'll kill yourself right then and there if Minsc and Boo aren't ready to fight and die beside you. The golden light on your periphery in theory could be from anything, but you knew it was Halsin waiting for your command to transform and attack.

The things you couldn't see didn't surprised you. Quite the opposite.

Jaheira's eyes shone, and without hesitation she turned into a fire myrmidion. Wyll, before careless, casted an armor on himself. Lae'zel had her sword on her back, but her movements showed she was nothing but ready.

They were looking at you.

As easy as that you understood. You're always thinking on the great scheme of things, careful about every movement and choice so at the end nothing will stop you from defeating the Absolute, but this isn't a game of Go. Orin didn't proposed a bet, one where all moves matter and any choice could change the final outcome. No. This is as simple as tic-tac-toe. The results depends only on doing the right first movement.

Orin isn't surrounded here.

You are.

Shadowheart hesitated, the spear uncomfortable on her hands, her skin paler. She gazed at you, at that thing, and you could almost see the doubt replacing the new found glow in her eyes.

"You finally decided to show up again," Orin said. She could immitate your voice perfectly. Even the words were something that could've been said by you. "Now we don't need to hunt you down."

You kept on staring at Shadowheart, ignoring her stained words. "Lua, you know who I truly am." You drew your sword, the golden glow illuminating your face within the light of the setting sun. "Fight beside me, my love. Like you have always done."

"Don't fall for her theatrics," replied Orin. If you didn't knew better, even you would fall for her tricks. "She is playing with your mind. Trying to control it like many attempt to before. Don't allow it."

In a quick motion, her spear cut through Orin's torso. Orin, you, stumbled back. You stood in front of Shadowheart, protecting her with your body from the changeling's response.

All Orin did was to add pressure to the cut. "Get away from her!" A necrotic energy came from her fingers, the same you are so used to control. You shouldn't have left your shield on your tent. "My love, she'll only hurt you."

Jaheira aimed at you, lava dripping from her transformed hand, but didn't attack because of how close Shadowheart was of you. Karlach got further away, now with a better view of camp. Minsc had his sword in hands, just as Wyll had a cloud of darkness aiming at him. Lae'zel was in front of Orin, eyes filled with determination.

They moved faster than you wanted to. The board getting new possibilities, and you worst problems to deal with. What strategy can overpower hers?

"On sight, soldier," Karlach screamed from distance. You could picture the spear on her hands, ready to be throw right in Orin's eyes. "One word."

"Ckh. Enough," ordered Lae'zel. "Pull yourself together before I pull you apart."

"That changeling is playing tricks with your mind, Lae'zel," said Shadowheart. Light came from her fingers. "Don't let her fool you."

"I know my leader," was her response. "You should know too, cleric."

"Can't any of you see her true goal?" Your voice echoed through the camp. "She isn't just trying to end me. She could've done this before, we all now she had chances. Orin wants you to fight one another, to break our bonds and divide us. Stay still, stay alert, and she won't have a choice but to end her disguise and attack with her own claws. Patience: that's the only thing she does not have."

With the noise, Gale and Astarion came out of the kitchen. "Who is..." Astarion didn't even had time to finish.

"It's me," you yelled. You had even forgot about them. Just more players for a game that should be won alone. "For Silvanus, I even said goodbye to each and every of you befo..."

You swear you saw a smirk on your duel's face. She fooled you too. "You fucking bitch."

You barely had closed your mouth when red strings of energy passed right beside you. Shadowheart's illuminated fingers were surrounded by darkness now. Gale's work, you knew.

"She is right," Lae'zel's words made you breath easier. It was more than just a smart move, it was a great plan, but Orin won't suceed for a very simple reason: her main goal is to hurt, and yours is to prevent it. Lae'zel stepped closer, her longsword in hands and eyes on Orin. "The wizard shouldn't have aimed at the Shadowheart, neither was she supposed to fight."

A sign of trust coming from her of all people could convince them all. Lae'zel cares, deeply, and wouldn't do something without being sure of it. You glared at the others, hoping Lae'zel's words had calmed them down. And it did. Their eyes were softer towards you. But those weren't the eyes you should've been watching closely.

You didn't saw when she moved. Didn't noticed the smell of danger floating on the air so near you. Didn't heard anything that would've warned you to defend yourself.

But you felt as Lae'zel rip your chest apart.

So much blood. You never would've guessed a mortal vessel could carry so much blood. It stained the silver, dripping from the longsword, splashed her face. It ran down your body, penetrated the ground and its roots, fed the plants..

Red. It was all you could see. All you could think about. Your lungs only had space for it. They burned. Your trembling hands moved towards your ripped belly, your insides staining them, and held the sword. It cut your palms.

"Bloodlust won't solve our problems," someone said. You knew that voice. Was it yours? Lae'zel forced the sword down, then pulled it out of you. "The changeling's is all we need to spill."

You were on your knees. Did you fell? Were you kicked? Are you praying? You must be. You probably were. Who do you pray to? Have you ever prayed before?

Kneeled beside you, a woman talked to you. Her mouth moved, a red liquid dripping from her face and hands. Her touch was warm. She felt like home. Shadowheart. Her eyes reflected a golden light, but they dissapeared so quickly.

"Let me go!" She tried to fight Lae'zel's hold, but the warrior was stronger. "She'll die because of you. She'll die and I will never ever forgive you for that, you damned gith!" The screams turned into cries. "She saved me, let me save her!"

"It's me," the doppelgander said. She held Shadowheart by the cheeks, trying to get her to calm down. "Lua, love, it's me. Just me."

"Get out of me," Shadowheart spat on her face. Lae'zel pushed her away, trying to prevent Shadowheart from doing something she would regret. "Why no one here listen to me?!"

"Stop squirming," Lae'zel hissed. "Look into her eyes. Look and tell me you don't see our leader."

Shadowheart eventually stopped fighting, her body exausted from crying. The changeling was in front of her, you were in front of her. She smelled like you. Talked like you. Felt like you.

"Is that really you?"

"Of course it's me," lied Orin. "Please, look into my eyes. We were together all day. You know I haven't left camp. Please, please, trust me."

Spikes grew, surrounding Orin. She hissed, the ivy twining around her legs and tearing the skin open. Halsin were throw to the ground before he could end the healing spell.

"Halsin!" Shadowheart screamed. She almost escaped Lae'zel's hold. "No!"

"She was with us all day, Halsin," Wyll said as he paralised the druid. "We know it's her. Don't fight back."

That didn't stop Karlach from throwing her spear near the Blade's feet. "You fucking idiot!"

Mizora clapped, enjoying the show.

Jaheira burned Mizora before losing her wild shape. She will come back, she always does, but that never stops Jaheira. At least they will have some moments of respect.

She wandered towards Minsc. He kneeled on the floor, and for a moment she feared something happened to him when she wasn't paying attention.

"She told me not open my eyes," cried Yenna. "I can't open they yet. She told me not to."

"Have you ever seen my miniature giant space hamster?" Yenna didn't react to him. "No, Boo, she nee..."

Jaheira kneeled beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder. "You did well, cub," she forced herself to laugh. "You were so brave. Let's get you and your red cat something to eat, alright?"

A dry sound reached their ears, stopping every and each one of them. You fell to the ground, as firm as an empty sack, whimpers leaving your mouth as you slipped into unconsciousness.

No fighting. No yelling. A quiet end. A peaceful one.

So easy.

Astarion grabbed Gale's shoulders, whispering so the others wouldn't notice. "It smells like her," Astarion swallowed hard. "I know it."

"Are you really sure of that?" Gale watched you, saw all your blood spreading through the ground, and looked into his eyes again. "Because if you're not, if your guess is wrong, then it will be our guts on the ground. Do you really trust your nose that much?"

Astarion gave him a smirk, but Gale could see the fear he was trying to hide. "Will you cover me, darling?"

"What's your plan?"

"Please. If you think I have one, then you don't know me at all."

As the spike dissapeared, Orin held Shadowheart's face again. "Think of everything we faced together. The nautiloid, the grove, the shadows. Wasn't I beside you all this time? Have I ever turned my back on you?"

"No." That Shadowheart knew the answer. "Never."

She looked up to the moon, praying for assistance. When her eyes fell down, she saw the body on the floor. And what surrounded it.

Scratch sad down beside you. He nudged your shoulder with his nose, waiting for you to stop with that game. He didn't like it. It wasn't fun like the others. But as he moved your body, she saw something reflecting the sunset. A flask. Concentrating, Shadowheart saw the contour of something. Of Astarion's body.

Gale had blue rays of light coming out of his eyes.

"Exactly, my love," her cheeks were pinched. The long nails digged on them for so long. "I've never turned on you. Not when you tried to kill Lae'zel. Not when you lied to me again and again. Or when you showed us how low you would go for your goddess. Remember the fear on the Nightsong's eyes? Remember how I pretended not to know all you would do to her if I wasn't there? A cleric who doesn't know where to lay her faith, a torturer so easily deceived, a coward unable to make the right decisions. That's why you never turned on me, right? Because I make the decisions you can't. I carry all the guilty for you. Because it's easier when I control everything. Don't you like it? That you don't need to use your brain when I am around? Wouldn't you give your memories to me if I asked? I know you would. I know you will."

Your head fell. The bone cracking, the skin stretching. They could hear as it moved, as it turned into something else. The shoulders falling, elbows breaking in half, the spine bending until it touches the bloody ground. The last snap, deep and long.

And from a thin cloud of dust, Orin appeared.

"Look at it. Crawnling under my fe..."

Nyrulna wasn't near Wyll, deep on the ground, neither did it came back to Karlach's hands. With accurate aim, the trident pierced Orin's ribs. Her blood joined yours, and the pale body fell where yours once lay.

Taking your time, you walked towards her. Stepping on the changeling's stomach, you ripped the trident from her insides. "I will give you a glorious death," you growled. "I'll make Bhaal wish I was his chosen."

You kneeled beside her, pressing the trident against her neck, then lowered your face until her ear. "I'll make him regret ever settling for you," you whispered.

Her eyes shone. "How... you know," she could barely say anything. "My... sib..."

You squeezed her cheeks, shutting her up. Then you caressed it, getting her skin dirty with your blood. "I know shit about you," you replied. "But I can tell you would never be anyone's first choice."

Orin can believe she escaped, if it's that what she desires. That you were too slow to stop her from teleport to wherever she deemed safe. That you were all bark and no bite. The truth is that she was wrong about you from the start.

You like the hunting.

You dropped Nyrulna to the ground, and threw yourself into Shadowheart's arms. “She lies,” you whispered. "She deceives and hurts and maims. Nothing was true. You're nothing that she said."

Quietly, Shadowheart hugged you. She breathed in your scent, felt your touch, heard your voice. You, you, you. She cried against your body. You.

Looking at the rest of your party, you breathed in. "We need a code," you said. "If we ever get into this sort of situation again, we need to say..."

You bite your lips, trying to think of something. Something you wouldn't use in another situation. Something that would be unique, impossible to confuse the meaning.

"Gold," you chose. "Or the rest of us are allowed to go for the kill."

Lae'zel cleared her throat. "Fair enough."

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

BALDUR’S GATE 3 TAGLIST: @citrusbunnies

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[princessbrunette]

jj’s the type of boyfriend to hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder while you’re doing the most mundane things. you’re cooking? he’s huggin you and watching what you’re doing. you’re folding laundry? he’s leaning up against your back and watching. you’re standing talking to anyone? he’s got his arms around your waist and his face tucked into your neck. - 🌸

might post this on my blog as well bc it gave me butterflies to type it out. i’ll tag you tho.

🧸˚⊹♡୭

yes ! and he always does that swaying thing too. wrapping his arms around your waist, tucking his chin to your shoulder whilst you stir the pasta in your pot, hips pressing against your ass as he starts to sway side to side.

“what’s cookin’ good lookin’?” he asks, briefly bringing his hands up to your waist and giving you an affectionate squeeze before letting them droop around you once more.

“pasta…” you sing, smile on your face from his undivided attention.

“might i be receiving a bowl of this fine grub, madam?” he puts on a voice, turning his head to smirk at your profile, watching your cute cheeks turn up as you giggle.

“i am infact cooking for the both of us. and john b, would be rude not to.”

“ah, yes. gotta feed the kids.” he nods standing back and detaching himself before drumming a quick beat on your ass. “perfect timing too. i’m starvin’.”

whilst we’re here, and i have definitely spoken about this on this blog before but i also believe jj is 103929% the type, everytime you bend over to pick something up, he appears behind you like magic, grabs your hips with his hands and pretends to pound into you from behind, sometimes even making dramatic grunting sounds to really sell it.

“jj!” you cry, palms smacking against the ground as you slightly lose your balance, trying to stabilise yourself. his finishing move is predictably a smack on your ass before he backs off, going back to whatever he was doing before.

“sorry babe, it was right there n’i’m just a simple dude. can’t resist.”

🧸˚⊹♡୭

[delulu-hours]

Karma {1}

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x F!reader

Summary: Being friends with Jake, you had to deal with his sweet but yet very annoying side of him. Even while he was off at TOP GUN the two of you always made time to talk, and there was always one person who would annoy Jake just about as much as Jake annoyed you. A person who never seemed to miss the chance to flirt with you with the guise of getting under Jake's skin. But what happens when he meets your for the first time?

"I'm telling you, Darlin'. He's doing everythin' he can to get under my skin." Jake let out a heavy sigh as you plopped down on your bed. He ran his fingers through his hair, and it was clear how exhausted he was.

"Well, Jake," You smiled at the man, eager to take the opportunity to give him a playful tease. "I told you karma was going to come and bite you in the ass." He narrowed his eyes at you before putting his phone down.

"You think it's all funny but you haven't met Rooster," You shifted under your blanket as you got comfortable. His video call always signaled he was coming home, a little tradition you both started over the years. You knew it was his way of assuring you that he was safe while being away, which was comforting because you always worried about your best friend. Growing up together meant you guys were extremely close. Always stuck to the hip. His mother would joke around saying that you were practically his wife. Both of you recoiled at the thought of it, but your reaction was something Jake lived off. He used the title of wife to annoy you to the point where sometimes he would even scare off the men you tried to date. And each time he did that you would hit him with one day you karma was going to bite him in the ass for all the times he has ruined your dates-- even if the men were shits-- and for the amount of times he got under your skin. "I don't think I can go another day eating the grub here, Darlin'. I might strangle the chef." You laughed.

"Strangling who?" A new voice entered the conversation. A voice that you knew was the source of Jake's complaints but also the source of his entertainment. "Someone finally got a reaction out of you, Bagman?" You didn't have to see Jake's face to know he was rolling his eyes.

"I was talking about how I missed the homecooked meals that I be getting at home. Right Sweetheart?" You raised an eyebrow. Jake did come over to your apartment every once in a while and when he did, you always had a meal cooked. It wasn't for him by no means but for the fact that you enjoyed cooking. It was your source of destressing.

"I think you're talking to the wrong person here, Jake." He peaked his head back into the frame and smiled at you. "I ain't here to cook for you, so don't be asking me. Not after you and Javy ruined my last date, might I add."

"If it's a date you need, I can clear my schedule up for you." Rooster's comment made you smile as Jake shot him a glare.

"You can mess with any other girl, expect my wife." You scoffed. You knew Rooster was joking but that wasn't going to stop you from what you were about to say.

"Bradley, I would love to go on a date with you." Jake snapped his head back at you, you thought he might've pulled a muscle. "You didn't put a ring on it." You held up your left hand and wiggled your fingers.

"I'll text you with a date." The amused voice said.

"I'm hurt." Jake shook his head and you rolled his eyes.

"Good night, Jake."

"Good night, Darlin'." With that you hung up and rolled to your side. You turned off the lamp and the room grew dark. You weren't going to lie, but you were happy to have Jake back after three months. He was your annoying best friend who was also like your brother. It sucked not having him around.

_________

You stood in the sun, your hand blocking the sun as you scanned the crowd. Jake had texted you that he was coming back today. You had also gotten a text from Rooster telling you to pick out a cute dress because he was gonna take you on a date. You were surprised as you read the message again. You had thought it was a joke. Some playful joke to get a reaction out of Jake. You hadn't expected much and yet here you were. Wearing your favorite light blue floral dress. The slit on the left side fluttered with the wind. The nude heels wrapped around your ankles and you were now regretting the outfit. Saying you were nervous was an understatement as you rocked in your heels. Your hair was up in a cute but messy bun with a few strands that curled around your face. You had a light natural makeup look done with a rosy lipstick. You saw Jake and smiled as you walked over to him. He did a double take, taking in your outfit confused. "Did I miss a special date today, Darlin'?" He placed his bag down and hugged you.

"I got a date." You smiled and returned the hug.

"It better not be with Rooster." A slight warning tone in his voice that you knew was him being protective.

"And if it is?" You pulled back, hands on your hips. You were tempting him to say something. "Let me enjoy myself. I'm grown."

"You're my ride back." He pointed out and you held his keys out to him.

"Well good thing you're a big boy that can drive." You could hear some voices near before a whistle grabbed your attention.

"Well, look at you beautiful." Jake took a step to the side as he looked at the crew that was joining him. His eyes landed on Rooster who didn't hide the fact that he was taking you in. His eyes traveled down your figure before they looked back at you. "I know I said dress cute, but now you have me thinkin' I'm under dressed." The heat rose to your cheeks at the compliment. Rooster ignored Jake as he walked to you.

"Thank you." You voice was soft and Jake raised an eyebrow at you. He hadn't seen you this shy since college when you dated that football player he wasn't a fan of.

"No," Rooster shook his head. "Thank you for blessing my eyes with your beauty." You ducked your eyes, feeling your face grow warmer. "Now I see why Jake has been hiding you away. You definitely have broken some hearts." His comment made you laugh and Rooster's smile grew. He was serious about how you looked. In his eyes, you were the perfect example of the beauty that many would use to describe Aphrodite. The dress was lose but yet it hugged you well. It showed enough to for the eye to just imagine what was hidden under there. The slit might be his favorite part as the wind blew against it. You looked stunning right in front of him that he was glad that he was taking you on this date. He had forgotten how this date was meant to get under Jake's skin a bit since he could see how protective he was over you.

"Alrigh', stop." Jake groaned. He looked at Javy and gave him a look to which Javy nodded.

"Y/n," You looked over at Javy with a slight head tilt. One that made Rooster want to comment how cute you looked. How that head tilt made him feel some type of way. "Have I showed you the new addition I added to my car?" You shook your head confused as to why he was telling you this. "Well, come on then." He threw an arm around your shoulder and guided you to his car. The rest of the dagger members looked amused as you glanced back.

"I think we'll follow them." Phoenix said with a huge smirk on her face. The rest of the members trialed behind her as Jake looked at Rooster. Rooster couldn't help the stupid smile on his face as he took in the annoyed look that was painted on Jake's face.

"You break her heart," Jake threatened, "Or I hear that she had the worst night ever, I'm coming after you." Rooster raised an eyebrow at the threat, not one bit phased by it.

"You're worrying too much." Rooster couldn't help but smirk. "I'll be a gentleman."

"Not one tear, Bradshaw, you hear me." Jake said before walking off to where Javy distracted you, showing you the new touch he added to his car.

_______

You hadn't expected how one simple date at a cute little restaurant would have ended up with the two of you walking on the beach. He was holding your heels in one hand while his other one held your hand. "So you're saying you've known Bagman since he has been in diapers?" Somehow Rooster couldn't wrap his mind around how someone like Jake had a friend like you. You who seemed to be so perfect in his eyes. So nice, caring, and very open. While he had known Jake to be very center of attention, cocky, and even an ass at times.

"I wish I could say I was joking but his momma has plenty of photos of us together in the bath as babies." You scrunched your nose at the thought of the many photos that were stored away in a photo book back home.

"I still can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that someone beautifully sweet has been dealing with someone like Bagman." You let out a small laugh, trying to cover the fact that his words made you blush.

"He's not that bad." You playfully nudged Bradley's shoulder, which earned a laugh that escaped his lips. "I swear! He may be a pain in my ass but he's my best friend. I wouldn't trade him for the world."

"So it seems like I might have some competition." Bradley said, squeezing your hand. You looked up at him, a confused smile on your lips as you slightly titled your head. "Well it sounds like Bagman is your favorite person." He stops walking and you stop too as he moves in front of you.

"Jake?" You shook your head. "I may love him like family, but he definitely isn't my favorite person." Bradley took a step towards you, "I mean he is up there, but definitely not number one."

"So the spots open?" You watched the teasing smile pull at Bradley's lips. The playful glimmer in his chestnut colored eyes. Biting your lip, trying to stop the giggle that wanted to escape you decided to play along.

"Maybe." You shrugged, raising an eyebrow. He seemed to catch onto your playfulness demeanor. He released your hand and moved it up your arm as he closed the gap between you two. You closed your eyes, feeling his lips touch yours. His mustache tickled the skin above your lips but you didn't mind as you leaned into him, trying to deepen the kiss. He rested a hand on your hip and you could feel your heels dangled by your side as you moved your hand up his chest and around his shoulder. His other hand cradled your jaw, angling your head as he kissed you. Your nails scrapped the back of his neck, eliciting a soft groan from him before you gently pulled back. With you chest flushed up against his, you took a moment to catch your beath, eyes closed. As his thumb brushed against your cheek, you opened your eyes to meet his gaze, observing the smirk on his face as he took in every features on your face.

[thechildofmythal]

DA:I Cullen Headcanons part 1: Dining

Some people enjoy cooking and dining so much that they say they live to eat. Cullen is not one of those people. He eats to live, and often forgets to eat if he is too engrossed in his work, which happens very often. 

He often feels nauseous in the mornings and thus has no appetite for breakfast. The lyrium withdrawal symptoms and recurring PTSD fits make him forget about his appetite too.

That’s why Cullen often eats a lot when he finally does eat. When he finally gets a dish of food in front of him, he suddenly realises he’s ravenous enough to eat a horse. He eats whatever is on offer in Skyhold dining room, and never complains. He finds he likes most kinds of food - honest Fereldan grub is of course the best - but is not a fan of things that are difficult to eat, like most seafood or whatever fancy unrecognisable flowery things the Orlesians have come up with this time.

He sometimes misses the ordered days at the Circle tower. He had set meal times several times a day, and routine gave him structure and comfort. Sure, his troops and subordinates in the Inquisition have routine and structure, too,  but more often than not the Commander finds himself doing one more task before going to the dining hall. And maybe just one more…

Because of his life as a Templar and then leading the Inquisition’s forces, Cullen never really learned to cook. He’s really good at chopping firewood - which he actually enjoys a lot - and making a fire, but he has relied on other people’s cooking all of his life. 

Despite that he has begun to dream of a different life. A life outside of institutions, armies, castles and towers. A simple life living in a cottage by a lake, perhaps. When he was a boy he used to go fishing, but he hasn’t fished in decades. He’d like to sit on a pier or in a rowing boat early in the morning with his fishing rod, enjoying the calm and quiet. He’d like to have a vegetable garden, he’d like to chop his own firewood for his own fireplace, he’d like to have a walking distance to the nearest village to trade. He’d like to learn how to make a good breakfast so he can cook for his wife in the mornings, in their little cottage by the lake. It’s a new dream, one that he has never had before, and he has never told it to anyone. It seems all too far fetched in the middle of long hectic days in Skyhold. 

[tastesoftamriel]

You know those cheesy pasta dishes with all the fancy add-ins like heavy cream and garlic so we can all pretend to ourselves that we aren't just eating mac and cheese like overgrown children? What sort of equivalent dishes do the people of Tamriel enjoy, that are basically just dressed-up "kid food" dishes?

Who doesn't love a cheeky meal that brings back memories of childhood? Across Tamriel, you'll find all manner of simple, hearty foods that will make you feel like a kid again!

Altmer

In Summerset, young and old alike enjoy mochi, a tasty sweet snack made from chewy glutinous rice flour. Mochi comes in many varieties, with fillings like sweet peanut or black sesame paste. However, almost everyone's favourite is a cold mochi filled with soft gelato of various flavours. My favourite combination is matcha mochi wrapped around a moreish azuki bean ice cream centre.

Argonians

Is there anything that makes you feel more like a kid than some snacking? Argonians are huge fans of anything that packs a crunch, both sweet and savoury. Whether it's spicy and sweet crickets, dark saltrice sauce-coated mealworms, or just good old prawn crackers with some dipping sambal, be prepared to snack your way all day long in Black Marsh.

Bosmer

If you're one of those people who stands in the kitchen gnawing a block of cheese at midnight, you're in good company in Valenwood. A popular late-night treat served at street food vendors across the Province is a simple cup of grilled witchetty grubs slathered in timber mammoth cheese sauce and topped with pulled pork. The grubs are meaty in flavour, and the pungent timber mammoth cheese complements the pulled pork when mixed all together, as the locals enjoy it.

Bretons

Pain au chocolat? Yes please! These deliciously buttery puffed pastries are essentially rectangular croissants enveloping delicious dark chocolate. Served warm, they're sure to make any breakfast or teatime a happy one! To really satisfy those chocolate cravings, pair with a classic Breton hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows and whipped cream.

Dunmer

Marshmerrow cake is the ubiquitous Dunmeri dessert that has gained popularity far beyond the borders of Morrowind due to its mild flavour and unique candy aroma. A soft sponge cake, which is sometimes soaked in comberry brandy, is layered with sweet marshmerrow crème patissiere, caramelised marshmerrow crumble, and maraschino comberries. Sure to knock some years off your age and put a couple more holes in your belt (it's impossible to stop at one slice. Source: me).

Imperials

There's nothing quite like homemade gnocchi with ragout for Imperials when it comes to comfort food. While this homey dish is prevalent across Cyrodiil, every household cooks the dish differently. In mine, my mother pan-fries the gnocchi in an obnoxious amount of butter, and tops it with her top-secret slow-cooked lamb and red wine ragout. While I cannot give away the secrets to her ragout, I highly recommend trying this delicious dish a try when you need to warm yourself, body and soul.

Khajiit

If you think you can turn away cinnamon and cardamom churros with a cup of moon sugar caramel dip, you're deluding yourself. This delicious treat can be found across Elsweyr and is considered one of the Province's most famous foods. Khajiiti churros, which are made from a mix of rice and tapioca flour, have a moist and chewy texture beneath a crisp, golden brown outer layer. They're served hot from the wok, with a cup of moon sugar caramel syrup. A truly divine pairing!

Nords

Spätzle is something I've written about in the past, and it's one of the best things I know (ask any resident of Skyrim and they'd tell you the same). These chunky egg noodles may look unrefined compared to Khajiiti vermicelli, but make up for it when liberally doused in a creamy cheese sauce and topped with fried onions. I like spicing mine up, quite literally, with some chili powder I purchased at a Sentinel bazaar.

Orcs

Nothing screams comfort food (and mess) quite like a good old echatere sausage hot dog. The echatere sausage, rather akin to Blackwood chorizo in flavour, is grilled over hot coals and served in a sourdough bun, served Wrothgar style with a good amount of horseradish mayo, fried radish chips, caramelised onions, pickles, and crispy dried baby shrimp topping. I'd say you can't stop at just one, but it's a hefty meal you can eat with one hand!

Redguards

I have probably written about gulab jamun in the past, a delicious, albeit cloying dessert popular throughout Hammerfell. An iconic dish at festivals and parties, gulab jamun is prized by dessert-lovers for its velvety, syrupy texture. These fluffy balls of cardamom-scented cottage cheese are fried and soaked in a fragrant saffron and rose water syrup, and topped with crushed pistachios. So simple, so good, and so moreish. Just be sure to stop at three, because any more and the sugar rush will send you to Aetherius!

[slocumjoe]

Some random thoughts on who can or can't cook and how they do

Cait; cannot, period, eats packaged food if not fed by someone else. Unlikely to take food from someone else anyway. Steal, yes, but if its offered, fuck. No.

Curie; cannot, not because she's bad at it, but because she focuses too much on nutritional value rather than...flavor...or pleasantness...

Danse; can, but is only passable aside from a few things. Anything BBQ is mouthwatering, his pasta comes out either under or overdone. His rice is glue. Sees no point in cooking vegetables. His breakfasts have gotten him marriage proposals that he took as a joke.

Deacon; can, will, but his taste is peculiar. Experimental. He's a good cook, but he can never leave well enough alone. Sometimes it works. But only sometimes.

Gage; can, won't for anyone else. Come dinner, he vanishes to go make his own grub. He's one of the better cooks, if only because he has more years on the others, and more time to figure out what works. Cola pulled [insert meat here] is a specialty of his.

Hancock; thinks he can cook. Cannot. Putting chips on bread and covering it in hot sauce is not cooking. Hancock feeds himself, but he cannot cook.

MacCready; had to learn with the little guy. Duncan is picky not for his own taste, but because his father would literally never learn otherwise. MacCready has frat boy tastes buds. He thinks doritos and mountain dew is a gourmet luxury.

Nick; either five star chef or he's laying face down in a bowl of cereal, gnawing at the air until something gets in his mouth. The most mouthwatering food, or "life is pain, food is bullshit, and we're all going to die ignorant and regretful"

Piper; eldest sister, so she makes food that probably would upset a dietician, but is very nostalgic for anyone else. Sandwiches are great, soup is great, one pan dishes are great. Eats packaged if Nat isn't around though

Preston; de facto best cook of them all, was actually properly taught, enjoys it, and has taste buds that ask for something a little more substantial than whatever Hancock or Cait have going on. Also, likes rice too much to let Danse do...whatever it is he does to it.

X6-88; can't, but he talks so much shit you'd think he was Gordon Fucking Ramsey

[green-fifteen]

Day 7: Kiss it Better

Prompt: Recovery Fandom: Teen Wolf Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Summary: Even a magical dad needs backup sometimes. Word count: 1,793 read on ao3 instead

written for @fluffyfebruary

The McCall house was full of people. They packed in together on the living room rug, leaned against the walls in the hallways, slid around each other in the kitchen to grab this or that. They spilled out of the door to the backyard, where John Stilinski and Chris Argent were not-so -passive aggressively fighting for control of the grilling spatula. Stiles couldn't believe they knew this many people, but he did recognize almost everyone he saw, with a few Argent exceptions.

His favorite (former) Argent was currently scrubbing a horrifically caked-on serving dish, muttering to herself about something he couldn't hear in the all of the party noise. Stiles, his hands and arms full of hot dog and hamburger buns, took pity on her. As Allison held the platter underwater, as if to drown it and be rid of it for good, he focused his gaze. It didn't take long for his magic to find the source of her problem and it scoured the baked-on food in an instant, as if it had never been there. She turned around to face him and almost grabbed him up in a hug before she noticed he was carrying bread. Thank you, you're amazing she mouthed instead.

These days, Stiles' magic was literally the ultimate household problem-solver. It seemed to have changed over the years as he settled and aged and now the things it did best basically amounted to chores. Cooking? Cleaning? Mysterious underwear stains? All he needed was a few seconds of focus and his magic could do it all.

Stiles waved away her thanks and continued outside to the patio, where the grill sat beside a pair of long white tables. There wasn't really any room for all the buns he held, so he just dropped them on top of some of the toppings, trusting the gathering of assorted mythical and/or magical beings to be able to open and use them for themselves. As he stood back, a shape darted out at his legs from beneath the tablecloth. Years of practice had honed his reflexes and he bent down to catch the beast just before it collided with his kneecaps.

"Grargh!" it cried, but its roaring dissolved into laughter as Stiles tucked it under one arm and began walking toward the woods that bordered the house on one side.

"I can't believe these creatures keep getting past my wards," he grumbled, letting out a frustrated huff. "Oh well." He set it down in the grass and nudged it with his foot. "Back to the woods with you, beast."

This time, the little thing jumped to tackle him, and Stiles let himself fall to the ground. "Oh no! Somebody, help!"

"Rarg! Graah!"

"I'm being mauled by a creature of the night!"

He continued wailing and being afraid for several moments, after which he seemed to find a second wind and pinned the little monster.

"I won't let you hurt any more innocent people," he cried, voice desperate and determined. "This is a birthday party!" And he reached down to tickle the creature's belly. It writhed in place, shrieking with laughter until suddenly it stopped. Stiles stopped too, watching its little face.

"Daddy," it said seriously. "I actually need to use the bathroom."

"Oh." Stiles climbed back to his feet and then lifted the little boy into his arms. Dry leaves and bits of grass clippings fell from their hair and clothes as they stood up.

"Do you need any help?" he asked.

"No. I can do it by myself," his son replied and then darted into the house.

"Patrick! No running on the patio," he called after him.

When he turned, his father was standing at his shoulder with a paper plate. "Grub time," he grunted. "Where's your husband? I bought cheddar dogs just for him and they're no good cold."

He shrugged and sighed. "He's supposed to be getting the cake but I think he got held up. He'll be here soon, just keep his food in the grill with the lid closed."

"Like I wasn't gonna do that anyway."

"Yes, yes, thank you, Dad."

At that moment, two things happened at once. Stiles heard glass break and turned his body toward the pool, where everyone seemed to have frozen in shock. Just as they started moving, everyone hurrying out of the water, he heard a second noise, one that kicked up his parental instincts the instant it hit his eardrums. Whirling around, he saw his kid sobbing on the concrete patio just in front of the sliding screen door, knee scraped up and beginning to bleed.

Without hesitation, he strode over to his son and hefted him into his arms. He was almost getting too heavy to be held like this and the screaming crying was happening way too close to his ear, but Stiles held on to him as he walked back over to the pool, trying to comfort him with soft words and rubbing his back.

Melissa McCall was pulling little kids out of the water, reassuring them gently that they'd be able to get back in soon. "You can't see shards of glass in the water," she said, voice gentle but firm. "You might really hurt yourself." As Stiles approached with his son, the kids looked up at him crying in pain and scrambled out as fast as they could.

Melissa met his eyes with a small smile, as if to say, Oh boy, what a mess.

Stiles could get the glass out of the pool. Without calling in a specialist or draining the pool, which would take too long, his magic was the only option if anyone wanted to use it again during the party. He looked at his son, gasping for breath where he was perched on his hip. Maybe he could calm him down and then come back to fix the pool? There was no way he'd be able to focus with him bleeding onto his jeans.

One thing at a time he told himself. He crouched down and pulled the little boy into his lap, rocking and shushing. "Really hurts, huh?" he murmured.

Patrick only wailed, tears and snot dripping down his face. Stiles heard another child start to cry somewhere nearby, likely startled by the glass breaking and only further upset by the sobbing Stiles had brought over the them. He was really starting to think, Those damn wolf powers would be pretty handy right about now and cursing his magic for being selectively useful, when a hand landed on his shoulder.

Derek was crouched on the balls of his feet just next to him, eyes fixed on Patrick's red face. To Stiles, he looked like an angel sent to rescue the both of them. He squeezed Stiles' shoulder lightly and then reached out for the boy.

"Hey, Pat," Derek said, gently. "Look, Pat, Papa's here."

Patrick's eyes flew open and he lunged forward into Derek's arms. Stiles fell back onto his hands and patted his husband's thigh in thanks. He could see black lines tracing their way up Derek's forearms, beginning with the little knee he held in one hand and traveling up under his sleeves. The pained wailing was already dropping off, replaced by Patrick's normal, more familiar fussing. Even that faded into the background as Derek walked them both over to the food table, kissing and soothing the little guy as he went.

Stiles turned back to the pool. It was the work of a few heartbeats to make it safe again-- he stared into the water and imagined he could hear the tinkling of the shards as molecules of water brushed over them. He imagined he saw their jagged edges glinting beneath the brighter gleam of the water's surface. Then-- blink-- suddenly he could see the fragmented pieces and he could hear the barely-there tinkling of water on glass. Focus came easily with something to fix it to and he let his magic free to find the problem. The pieces were gone in seconds.

"Alright!" he shouted. "Open swim!" The splashing started up again immediately and he had to scurry away to avoid being hit. Smiling, he made his way to the grill. His father was holding Patrick while Derek stood at the start of the condiment line with two paper plates, a burger on one and a cheddar-filled hot dog on the other.

Stiles stepped in close to him and kissed his bristly cheek. "You never stop saving my life," he chirped. Then, "Is that for me?"

"Yes." He handed Stiles the plate with the burger. "Sorry I was late, there was an issue at the bakery and then traffic was pretty bad on the way back."

Stiles tsked. "That's what we get for going to the bougie place for a five year old's birthday cake. Grocery store sheet cake next time."

"Agreed."

When they finished filling their plates and returned to their son, he was staring raptly at the sheriff, who was telling a story in big, exaggerated motions.

"And that's why you never peel off your band-aids, son," he was saying as they came within earshot.

When Patrick saw them, he squirmed out of John's hold to the ground and ran up to Stiles.

"Daddy," he said. "Papa made my leg feel better, but it still hurts. You have to kiss it so it heals and I don't get a bacterial infection." Stiles shot a bewildered look at his father, who only smiled serenely.

"Of course," he said, smiling when he looked back at his son, then planted a loud kiss to the skin just below the open wound. "Now it will heal all better in no time. No infections."

Patrick stood up and dashed away before Stiles could even process it, screeching and chasing one of his little playmates.

"Has he eaten yet?" Derek asked him. Stiles stood up cracked his back.

"He can eat later. Or maybe he'll just have cake for dinner. It's his birthday, who cares?"

Derek sighed but smiled and tugged Stiles into a hug. "I cares. You cares. We all cares when the birthday boy doesn't fall asleep tonight. And Daddy and Papa and Patrick all stay up doing jigsaw puzzles until midnight again."

"You love family puzzle time," Stiles counters, poking him in the ribs.

"Is there really nothing else you would rather do tonight?" He pushed his nose into the space behind Stiles' ear. "I haven't seen you all day." He breathed in a huge inhale.

"Quit sniffing me, my dad is standing right there." Stiles smacked him and pulled out of the embrace. "Fine, I'll go track down the beast. Make a plate for him?"

Derek hummed an agreement and Stiles took off after their kid.

[pikaglove]

Now that I have beaten Baulder's Gate 3, here is a list of headcanons I made up about my character and her life (also includes some in game canon events)

Sylvia

• Half wood elf

• Druid (circle of the lands)

• Folk hero

• Cis female

• Bisexual

• Early-mid 30s

• Lover: Gale (married)

• Adopted two kids after the events of bg3 (arabella and Yenna)

• Absolute freak in the sheets

• Has demon fetish

• Canonically forgets her quests (people have died because of this)

• Lived in Baulder's Gate when she was a young girl and was going to be married off to a noble drow but got in a fight that made her "unfit for marriage" and had to be shipped away due to being an embarrassment to the family.

• Lived as a hippie in her young adulthood with other druids.

• Went around saving small towns from bandits.

• Normally peaceful but gets really hotheaded when she sees injustice

• Has gone days without eating much (Gale has had to make her eat a proper meal instead of just a few berries)

• Had a fling with Lae'zel, thought it was mid.

• Did have a pixie friend when she traveled with the other druids

• Not good friends with Astarion because she wishes he would be a better person (she was really proud when he didn't ascend)

• Shadowheart is her bff

• Loves cats

• Prefers cooler weather

• Will fight Mystra at a waffle house

• Loves raunchy ballads about herself

• Has Heterochromia (left: blue. Right: green)

• Got a flower tattoo on her neck once she left Baulder's Gate

• Got facial scars from charging up too much lightning to take down a group of harpies. (She won of course)

• Down with Bukake (Gale gets her so well)

• Half illithid (cured)

• Has blanked out when Gale goes on tangents but she's happy to let him ramble

• Canonically told Gortash to fuck off

• Disappointment to parents (canon by auntie ethiel)

• Astarion, Jaheira, and Karlach judged her for fucking the emperor

• Canonically sacrificed herself to save everyone in the iron throne along with Astarion (character growth for astarion)

• Halsin is her father figure now after he found out her dad is shit

• Canonically cucked Gale 3 times (The emperor, the drow twins, and Haarlep)

• Whenever Haarlep is using her body and she is in puplic, she and Gale absolutely go off somewhere to fuck.

• Date nights with Gale include star gazing

• Is the reason why Gale learned more ice spells (He wanted to impress her)

• Taught Gale animal handling.

• Steals books for Gale while on adventures

• Canonically goes on adventures with Gale

• Uses vines to bind Gale's wrists so she can give him the sloppy toppy without him returning the favor. (All consentual)

• Taught Arabella druid magic

• Yenna and Gale cook while in waterdeep

• Tara and Sylvia have helped Grub come out of his shell more.

• Has a good relationship with Mrs. Dekarios

• Won the heart of Tara after growing her some catnip.

• Has gotten into cheese arguments with Gale, whenever Elminster comes to visit.

• People sometimes think Yenna is her biological daughter due to similar hair and eye color.

• Father is human, mother is a wood elf

• Has a younger brother

• Her bi awakening was when she was a teen and had a crush on a tiefling classmate

• Let's Shadowheart stay at their tower when she visits waterdeep to be at the Selunite temple.

• Once got attacked by Shaarans when Shadowheart was visiting.

• Has nightmares of turning into a mind flayer due to taking that parasite

• Years after all events and our heros have passed, the wizard tower of waterdeep becomes overgrown with vines.

[almostourgalaxy]

Weird Day

You expect a great many things when you open the door to the captain’s quarters that evening. This was not one of them.

There’d been a commotion on the ship earlier, word that your captain hadn’t yet left his cabin, an oddity, given his usual refusal to sleep most days. You figure he’d finally crashed, given out on himself and finally passed out.

It had taken both the cook and first mate to convince you to check in on him. You’d been expecting to get yelled at the moment you opened the door, for waking him up, or walking in on him and his latest respiteblock conquest. You’re met with neither of those things.

He’s on the floor, clutching the stump of his missing leg and biting down on his hand to muffle the sobs choking out of his throat while he rocks on his haunches.

Panic flickers across his expression when he spots you, and you hurriedly close the door and rush to his side. You aren’t sure what you’re going to do to help him, but you’ll at least try.

You grab lightly at his shoulder, trying to steady him as he attempts to pull away from you.

“I’m fine,” He hisses before you can ask what’s wrong, “This- this just happens sometimes, I’m-” He breaks off with a strangled whine. You flinch, watching his face contort in pain.

“Is there anything I can…?” You trail off, unsure of what to say. You can’t fix something that isn’t there. He glances at you, wincing, before answering your half-question.

“Just…Just help me back to my nest,” He rasps. You shakily help him upright, but only make it a few steps before his weight topples you both. You manage to avoid being crushed as you land, but he comes down hard on his bad side, and screams. You’re on your feet in seconds. He’s still thrashing and yowling when you reach his side.

His breathing slows back down after a moment, and he quiets somewhat, still whimpering and curling in on himself.

He looks up at you blearily, and nearly wails when you grab his shoulders to try and get him back upright. The sound is high and chittering, followed by a series of yelps you’ve never heard come out of an adult violet blood.

You have, however, heard violet blooded grubs make that noise. You hush him on reflex, and pull him closer when it successfully gets him to lower his voice.

He’s still chirping and yipping into your shoulder as you pet his hair. His hands clutch at your shirt, and he’s buried his face into the nape of your neck.

You try to move, to get him on his good leg so you can focus on getting back into the haphazard pile of cushions and blankets he calls a nest, but he doesn’t budge. He just buries his face deeper into your shoulder and cries louder. It doesn’t even sound like an adult, it’s high pitched and hiccuping, like a scared wiggler.

You have your work cut out for you, you realize. He finally lets you help him up after a minute, and you barely get him back in his ‘coon without falling again.

You start to get up to leave, but he seems to notice that you’re trying to get away from him, because he locks his hand around your wrist and whines like you’ve just kicked him.

You sit back down, settling beside him. He practically drags his upper body into your lap and clings to you, shivering as you start petting his hair again.

He mumbles something you don’t understand, and when you hum questioningly at him, he presses his face into your stomach and chirrs.

“ ‘Ami.” You don’t recognise the word, but they way he says it feels almost infantile, like a huffy grub. He looks up at you again, and chirps sharply.

“ ‘Ami, heph, miprirr ba?” You still don’t know what he’s saying, but he sounds like he’s begging. You rub the top of his head, and chirp back at him.

He nuzzles your stomach, and proceeds to pass the fuck out.

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hi mara, do you ever have a spontaneous sense of longing? as in, yearning for something or missing something— anything you’ve had before? It’s a feeling i’m battling a lot lately but can’t really find solace about it rn beyond just telling myself to move on. is that what the feeling is like for you as well? either way, stay safe out there, hope your day treats you well.

hey anonymous, good morning;

sure, of course. lately i:ve been watching a lot of warcraft 3 videos by Grubby on youtube (sub to the grub, he says), and sometimes watching it i:ll get this pang of nostalgia spurred on by something silly, like: seeing the rain on the map, and really noticing some of the models (like the mur'gul creeps, or the necromancers, or even just the ui spell icons for the necromancers) and i:ll get this flash of seeing those things though i were a kid again, and remembering the magic they all held for me back then--and i long to be able to have that same magical world; as a kid, it were like i could open the map editor in wc3 and exist with it, and when i made a marshy rainy little town filled with zombies and mur'guls at the outskirt swamps it would be like the monitor-glass between me and the world didn't exist and it were just as real as my room (realer, even); i could just spend days and weeks living inside videogames like that just off imagination; diablo, and wc2, and starcraft, and dwarf fortress. then at some point my brain calloused and that magic got sealed-off with age, like a layer deeper from when playing with toys and dolls stopped meaning anything more than touching masses of plastic in an empty air conditioned room.

sometimes, outside of nostalgia, i:ll have wish to be in a relationship with some loving spouse i can pour myself into supporting (all this dumb housekeeping and cooking has to go towards something); i:ll think of going on trips to try foods and realize there:s no one in my life for that except my mom. sometimes see streamers or youtubers with their kid and have a soft longing wish that i could have a kid.

but i:m married to the faith and feeling painful lonelinesses here-and-there are part of the relationship, and the sacrifices; sure enough you get bored and accustomed to anything that is regular in your life. swobu, zug zug, i sense a soul in search of answers, anonymous!

[clangenlore]

rookclan: in pursuit of knowledge

current leadership

lyrestar | 143 moons | shameless | beloved kitsitter

an eccentric old fellow, lyrestar is old as dirt and usually covered in the stuff to boot. his eyesight is failing and he's missing a few teeth, but by starclan he's not retiring yet! he was a bit of a casanova back in the day, siring litters with multiple she-cats before finally settling down with his current mate, a former kittypet named mae. he loves kits and can often be found playing with his great-grandkits in the nursery. not as technologically-minded, he prefers digging for grubs and gathering clay for pottery; his polydactyly makes his paws great shovels. his tail was burned in an accident when he was a young warrior, and since then the firekeepers have banned him from handling fire.

cherryhawk | 70 moons | responsible | great hunter & fast as the wind

cherryhawk is a very capable deputy, and at this point she's the leader of rookclan in all but name. her birth was a difficult one, leaving her without a tail and with a permanently weak leg, which she usually keeps wrapped in leaves to compress it. she earned the suffix -hawk in honor of her speed, which helped her catch and kill an actual hawk during her assessment. she likes to keep physically fit and often races her otterclan rival along the border. her level-headed nature makes her the ideal cat to curb her clanmates' reckless enthusiasm.

swanplume | 124 moons | troublesome | prophecy interpreter finchbeak | 124 moons | righteous | good healer yewberry | 29 moons | thoughtful | keen eye & dark forest affinity

swanplume and finchbeak are rookclan's elder healers; they're littermates and, surprisingly, lyrestar's younger aunts. much like their nephew, they refuse to retire. they're meddlesome old she-cats and love to gossip and nag. both of them bear scars on their faces thanks to their job requiring close proximity to their clanmates' sometimes-explosive invention accidents. most of rookclan prefer swanplume to finchbeak, whose abrasive tongue makes for poor bedside manner.

yewberry is their much younger apprentice. his demeanor is much calmer and quieter than his denmates', though his tendency to stare at things no one else can see makes him somewhat intimidating. while all of rookclan let their curiosity guide them, yewberry's interest parallels his name: he cultivates toxic plants and experiments with them. he attempted to ingest small doses to try and make himself immune to his poisons, but his first attempt went wrong and cherryhawk forbade him from doing it again. so naturally he's continued doing it, just in secret, and much more carefully.

culture

inquisitive and innovative, rookclan cats are relentless in their pursuit of knowledge. thanks to their experiments and inventions, they're the most technologically-advanced of the clans, developing rudimentary tools, crude wheels, and even a simple written language of glyphs. what's more, rookclan cats have even managed to harness the power of fire. only specific cats are permitted to start fires, however; these cats, called firekeepers, undergo extensive training in order to control the flames. with this fire, rookclan is able to cook their prey, a practice the other clans find odd. dried minnows and smoked jerky are favorite rookclan snacks, often squirreled away in caches marked by stone cairns. another rookclan recipe involves mashing grubs and meat scraps, using bird eggs to bind them, forming them into small cakes, and frying them in fat.

because of their keen interest in learning, rookclan routinely hosts outsiders, engaging in fascinated conversation and exchanging knowledge. thanks to this, rookclan cats believe in a greater variety of gods, spirits, and superstitions; when you're playing with explosive compounds and hazardous materials, you'll take the help of anyone you can get.

rookclan actually has two camps, one on a grassy knoll overlooking a cliff that falls into a gorge, and another on the steep face of the cliff, accessed through a system of natural caves and cat-made tunnels. the primary camp on the surface is where the young and old live, as well as warriors assigned to routine patrols. the secondary camp on the cliff face is occupied by those performing dangerous experiments, using fire or sharp tools, or working with hazardous materials. this area wasn't always a camp, but became one to prevent inventors from falling asleep at their workbenches. the gorge below, meanwhile, is a dumping ground for human garbage, which rookclan cats love to collect and tinker with, if only to discover how these objects work.

[dunaldoodles]

Tiso facts to go with the Ardent facts!! Again under a read more.

He's an ant-like beetle! Yes, that is actually a kind of beetle. I was also surprised they were called that, but there's a metric fuckton of beetle species alone so like. Go ham, fam.

He has a nose horn inherited from his mother! Hates using it, and kinda hates that it gets in the way of his hood, but filing it down is painful, so it's better to just complain about it than fuss with files and such.

He actually does have wings! He HATES using them, though. Always says they give him an 'unfair advantage'. In reality, he's a clumsy flier and never really figured out how to balance in the air.

He grew up near an ant colony, and was best friends with a few of the workers and warriors! One of which left the colony to go traveling with Tiso. He's never said a name, only ever called his friend 'Brother'.

He actually used to weild a nail exclusively! His brother was his shield, and the eyes on the back of his head. Together they were a pretty good team, and deadly efficient combatants.

When his brother was killed, Tiso took up his shield. He still traveled with his nail on his back, and struggled for a long while using that shield, but now he's able to use both if he needs to!

He arrived in Hallownest a little before the Infection was subdued, seeking to prove to himself that he could protect those he cared for... even if currently he had no one to protect but himself and the memory of what he left behind.

Actually did pretty damn well in the Trials. He only lost because no one found him fun to watch, and some bastard thought it would be funny to drop a fucking mawlek on him. They stole his nail when dragging him out of the ring.

Shadow found him and dragged him back to Dirtmouth after he was dumped out onto the cliffs. When he woke up, Hornet was (begrudgingly) tending to his wounds and Ardent was beside him, barely clinging to life.

He and Ardent actually helped one another recover from their injuries. They gave each other a new perspective on life, and took comfort in each other's presence. Tiso helped Ardent learn how to be a person, and Ardent taught Tiso how to forgive himself for his mistakes.

Tiso named Ardent. Before, they were simply known as The Hollow Knight, or Hollow, names they didn't particularly like. When they were renamed, they really started to open up to him, and they became fast friends.

If you ask him outright, he'll say Ardent is just some bug who saddled him with responsibilities he never wanted and grubs he never asked for. His actions speak far louder than his words, though.

He and Hornet are hunting partners! They act like they hate each other, but they work REALLY well together in battle. Tiso is the shield to Hornet's needle. She reminds him of his brother, but he would die before he admits that to her.

His left side is permanently fucked, and the damage is more than just external shell. He has a much harder time jumping and blocking left-sided strikes from his injury. Nothing Hornet has been able to do has helped it much, but she can at least soothe the pain on bad days.

He's still pretty close to Shadow, but finds them a bit obnoxious now that they and their partner have grown up. Still calls them a squib, too, despite the fact that he's about half their size.

If he isn't around Ardent or Hornet, he's probably off testing his strength with Cloth, or bothering Quirrel or Lemm about random things.

Tiso's actually pretty intelligent! He's got a mind like a steel trap! Unfortunately he chooses to spend that intelligence learning combat strategies he swears will work someday.

A decent chef, at least better than Hornet, who almost always eats her food raw, and Ardent, who eats actual rocks. Nyr and Shadow often ask him to cook for them. He sometimes takes the offer.

[ggfanlover]

Timmy in my Dr 🌸

- Takes Polaroid pictures of me

- He doesn’t like being called Tim but only by me it’s okay

- SUPER loyal (doesn't even look at other women in that way)

- He holds my hand tighter when someone passes us two

- He softly kisses me to wake me up every morning

- Lets me wash,dry and play with his hair

- Cooks us breakfast every morning he can.

- Sometimes has an habit of rubbing his thumb on my cheek before we kiss

- he loves cuddling He will cuddle me on the couch, in are bed, in a chair, literally anywhere

- He texts me good morning and good night also is a texter

- He know's me like the back of his hand and he could spot me with his eyes closed and only by feeling my face. He knows my habits, and the food I hate,things I love,foods I order at ever fast food and restaurant place etc

- lives off of grub hub and door dash

- he takes so many pictures of me because he just loves looking back at the pictures in his camera role and smiling

- Calls me “Mon ange” (Angel)

- He leaves voicemails saying he misses me or just to say "I love you," giving me something to treasure when we’re apart.

- My comfort is his priority; he'll lend me his jacket without a second thought if I’m cold.

- timothee always texts me to get home safe or drive safely just because he cares about me

- He comes to ALL of my concerts cheering me on and just being a supportive bf or streams them on tv

- He always brings me as a plus one to basketball games he goes too

- he loves kissing me cheek kisses,FOREHEAD KISSES, nose kisses,hand kisses,tummy kisses,neck kisses. sometimes he'll just grab my hand and kiss it and tell me how much he loves me

- I’m the only girl he follows on instagram

- he gets so happy and giddy when someone brings up my name he’ll talk about me 24/7

[thelanor-s-astame]

EPISODE 2

This one is probably the episode I’m gonna have the least amount to say about. I still hadn't really solidified anything yet. It was still super off the cuff, and still uber amateur hour. But I think it’s a little bit better than the first one. I sorta lock down the flow a lot better in this one. The first bit in particular is really good. And it was a thing that I came up with in, like, the 11th hour that improved the whole thing. I remember needing to pad this bit out a little, I didn’t want to start with him meeting with Cornifer. I wanted him to establish himself a little first. And also it’s kinda funny when quite a bit of the video is me talking to two characters who I also play. Saine locked down the Cornifer voice in this episode. I think this is the first one I directed him in. He gives a real great performance here! Still real proud of the “Yeah money can’t buy happiness, but it can bribe off unhappiness so, yeah it’d help.” line. The dynamic zooms I did here are a little to tiny. This is something I still screw up from time to time. Gotta zoom in quite a bit if there’s only gonna be two cuts! But I always underestimate how much of something I need. Do that shit when I cook too. Just don’t add enough spices sometimes. But I started putting still images over the characters when they’re not talking! Me from two years ago is making little steps forward to give the series a visual style that works!

That’s the thing about these youtube videos that are nice. I can kinda just be really amatureish, screw up a ton, and have people come for the stuff I already know how to do, and just, figure it out as I go along! One of the things I started out thinking was “Is it gonna be a pain in the ass to manually apply a sound filter to every track every time I take damage on screen?” And nowadays that’s the *least* pain in the ass, manual thing I have to do! I can do that shit in less than a minute!

Also all the audio channel stuff whenever hornet shows up before the confrontation, is just me playing around with the sound design of the scene. I will just take any opertunity to do that. I did a deadcells video where I replaced every single sound, with a SSBM sound effect manually, for a joke that lasted 12 seconds. It took like 3-4 hours I just love making the noises go! It makes my brain go brrrr!

Grub Father was the first voice role I ever gave to Flashgen. An absolute shame I haven’t given him more. The dude will come up to be like “So I was thinking about what voice to give the character and I was thinking something like this? Is this good?” And it’ll be the perfect voice and exactly what I’m looking for. Dude never disappoints.

So Zote is very much a “So here’s the obvious bit, how do I make it a little better” kinda character. The obvious bit for zote is the one he is! He’s an obnoxious jackass who’se actually a poor lil meow meow that’s incapable of walking three steps without getting shit on. But will bullshit about being the best and better than you.” What if, instead of bring an asshole, he was passively condescending. What if he *acted* like he was hot shit. And what if he gave convincing performance? That’d almost make him more insufferable. And what if *even still* everyone could see right through him.

So the hornet fight was the first one of these I did. And it’s where I figured a looot of the groundwork for these. Basically I had to be way more dynamic with the camera, hide cuts so I could go forward and back in time, I muted the music and fought her without that, muted the voice sounds (This was a helova first fight because hornet sure does announce her attacks) and I needed to only go in and mute when she said something so you could still hear the attack noises. Then I realized I’d need to manually put in some of those sounds myself because it’s super noticeable when she does an attack and the SFX isn’t there. Whoo boy did this one teach me how to do a looooot of that stuff. And ultimately I’m surprised it came out as good as it did. Especially ‘cus I was on a time crunch with this one. Some of the cuts are a little awkward but still. Like, so much of the fundamentals I do when editing a fight scene I brute forced learning here I’m surprised it has the same flow as the rest of the fight scenes in these videos. Shocking to come back to this one and see how much *did* work.

So, first bit of lore building here. Hornet was a character I already had plans for. She was gonna be the star of the Silksong series. So I already had her pretty characterized as essentially a dumb nerd who didn’t have any friends, spent most of her time alone, talking to herself, and was hyperfocused on combat and combat history. And, thing is, I don’t know all that much about combat history, but I do know about film history! So I just kinda simplified it, replace some names with bug names and was like “Yeah that’s good.” And so that began. I’ve got a very Yes And theory about writing. I’ve always been hugely influenced by The Venture Brothers. The way a lot of that show goes is “Hey we invented this character as a funny joke background character in season two, now it’s season five and their tragic backstory is integral to the plot.” Retcons are boring. Take the thing that was true and make it true in whatever situation. There’s Do not change a character to suit the tone, leave them as they are and have the struggle with the tone. And for gods sake don’t flanderize them. A character grows every second their on screen, and sometimes they outgrow their joke. But it’s okay if they outgrow their joke, the new joke that they’ve grown into is *much funnier because it required that growth*!

And the fighting history stuff I’ll talk more about on episode three because that was then I actually solidified what the story was gonna be.

Also I might get into the dreamers a little bit more there too. But their characters stuck out there. The joke I set up about The Pale King being garbage at sex but that Herrah loved to brag about getting him in the sack is one I planned out *from* this episode. Finally got to see it pay off! Also speaking of Herrah, that was the first time I got Ponk in here! Always does a great job! Unfortunately, she used her Discord Mic here. This one wasn’t a situation where she didn’t have a good mic. She just forgot to use the good one and I completely forgot she is also really into audio stuff too and would jump at the chance to use her fancy stuff. She has been since!

And that’s episode 2!

[overlooked-gems]

A Look At Stuff You Probably Never Heard Of: Rayman: The Animated Series

Well, with the Rayman DLC being released for Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope, I feel it's rather appropriate to talk about Rayman's first foray into other media outside of video games. In fact, we'll be taking a look at his first TV show. Today, we'll be taking a look at... Rayman: The Animated Series!

Rayman: The Animated seres was a very short-lived TV series created by Ubisoft in 1999, following the success of Rayman 2, the most recent game at the time. 26 episodes were planned to release sometime in Autumn of 2000, but the series was cancelled after only 4 episodes were produced and the 5th being near compleition. With the episodes already made, they aired in France, Germany and the Netherlands from December 20th, 1999 to January 10th of the following year.

Rigatoni and his lackey, Admiral Razorbeard run a freak show; a circus comprised of weird, bizarre, and unflattering characters made to perform for the amusement of attendants while being abused and mistreated.

Within their group of performers are Lac-Man, a blue rabbit-like creature who's dim but very strong (and is the star of Rigatoni's freak show; Betina, who performs as an acrobat; Cookie, a paranoid, whiny, and dramatic mole with hypochondria (thinking he's sick or ill) but is a really good handyman and cook; Flips, a little fairy who can only speak in squeaks, but the others can understand her; and Rayman himself, the newest member of the troupe, who instantly decides to escape.

After the group escapes, Rigatoni enlists the help of Inspector Grub to track them down and return them to him. As such, the episodes are mostly minor "adventures" while trying to evade Grubs, but they also secretly live in a flat just above his house, where he lives with his wife.

Obviously, when the show was made, CGI was the big new thing, releasing around the same time as the likes of Donkey Kong Country (1997-2000), ReBoot (1994-2001), and Beast Wars: Transformers (1996-1999). So as a result, the CGI hasn't aged all that well. The TV show is also a massive departure from the games, with the only connection being that it has Rayman.

And here comes the Final Recommendation Never Let Go Of It||Get It||Hold Onto It||Try It||Consider It||Stay Away From It

The series is honestly, not that good. Granted, it's not awful or even horrible. If anything, it has its moments, but they're really nothing impressive. As I stated before, the biggest issue the show has is that it has practically nothing to do with Rayman outside of having the titular character, as well as Razorbeard, who was just downgraded to a dim-witted lackey. Although, Betina and Lac-Mac may also serve as stand-ins for Betilla and Globox, respectively, due to their similar color schemes.

Also, one of the things this series is known for is that it has Billy West voicing Rayman. There's even a meme of how Rayman says "car".

At the end of the day, this show isn't all that special. But if you want to watch it, it's there. In fact, here's a video showing the entire series in one video.

And with that, I'll see you all next month!