#sometimes I wonder if this is worth all the trouble it’s caused me

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[brokebonewritings]

Moonlight Lovers

Gale Dekarios x Fem! Reader

Tags: 18+, Fluff, Smut, Domestic Bliss

Summary: You and Gale spend a lust filled evening together. One of the many shortly after returning to Waterdeep and getting married.

Word Count: 1.9K

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"The moon is a beautiful sight tonight, isn't it."

You jump as the husky voice appears to suddenly, but you turn around knowing that it's your husband. Gale leans in the doorway of the balcony as you stand at the rail looking up at the stars. You smile as you watch him walk to you, placing a kiss at the temple of your head.

As the cool breeze ruffled your hair, you closed your eyes and leaned into Gale's touch. His presence was a comforting anchor amidst the vastness of the night sky. Together, you both gazed at the luminous moon, its ethereal glow casting a soft radiance over the world below.

It seemed as if time stood still in that moment. The worries and troubles that had plagued you throughout the day melted away. You often sought solace in the late hours of the night, finding solace in the gentle dance between darkness and light.

Lost in your own thoughts, you whispered, "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to touch the moon."

Gale chuckled softly, his warm breath tickling your ear. "Oh darling, if only we could reach out and grasp it. But sometimes, it's the beauty of things just beyond our reach that enthralls us the most."

You turned to look at Gale, his eyes shimmering with a mixture of longing and wonder. There was a distant look in his gaze, as if he were envisioning making it a reality. It was one of the many reasons you fell in love with him - his ability to see the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Lost in the allure of the night, you both continued to stand there. One of his hands holding your waist, as the other grips the rail. The world around you fell away as you found yourselves drifting into a shared reverie.

Suddenly a shooting star streaked across the sky, drawing a gasp of wonder from you. It was as if the universe was responding to your unspoken desires, affirming that there was indeed still magic left in this world.

"You've bewitched me, truly, you are even more stunning than the moon." Gale whispered, his voice barely audible over the gentle rustling of the wind. "I would give anything to make your dreams come true."

You turned to face him, your heart swelling with love for this man who cherished every ounce of your being. "And I, you," you replied, a tender smile gracing your lips.

He leans in and nuzzles your jawline with his nose. Peppering your skin with light kisses. As Goosebumps prickle your skin, you feel an electric current surge through your veins.

In that moment, you both knew that the moon was not the only thing that held irresistible allure in the night sky. The depth of your love for each other seemed to transcend the earthly realm, reaching heights that only the stars could fathom.

Gale's lips find yours, and the world around you dissolves into a sea of passion and desire. In each kiss, there is an unspoken promise of forever, a pledge to explore the wonders of life together.

"Do you ever regret what we have done?" You ask, the question comes suddenly and without warning. This causes him to stop his shower of his kisses.

Gale pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of doubt or hesitation. His hand gently brushes against your cheek as he speaks, his voice filled with sincerity.

"Regret? Never," he murmurs, his gaze unwavering. "Every step we've taken, every choice we've made, has led us to this moment. And in this moment, I am the happiest man alive."

"I don't regret it either," you reply softly, your fingers intertwining with Gale's. "All those risks we took, all those obstacles we overcame, they were worth it to be here—to be with you."

His face softens, his eyes reflecting a profound sense of gratitude. "To be with you," he echoes, his voice filled with an overwhelming tenderness. "There is nothing in this world I would trade for the love we share."

You're quick to turn and jump in his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist as he holds you against the railing. Kissing him with full passion, you let your love and desire consume you both.

"You really are going to be the death of me, aren't you?"

"I might be but I think you've got me in a bind here, Mr. Dekarios."

"How so?"

Biting at his lower lip, and pulling ever so lightly. You hear him groan at the sensation. "Because my body, and soul are forever yours."

Gale's eyes darken with desire as he holds you tighter, his hands roaming over your body. "And mine, my love, belongs to you," he whispers huskily, his voice filled with an intoxicating mix of passion and adoration.

Without breaking eye contact, Gale carries you across the threshold into the bedroom. You had forgotten just how strong your husband was. When he approached the bed, he laid you down gently before climbing above you.

His eyes burn with a hunger that matches your own, igniting a fire within your veins. As he hovers above you, you feel the weight of his desire pressing against your body, a tantalizing promise of the passion to come.

With a feather-light touch, his fingertips trace the contours of your face, leaving a trail of fiery sensations in their wake. His lips meet yours in a searing kiss, an explosion of longing and need.

Clothing becomes an unnecessary barrier as he undresses you with gentle urgency. After freeing your breasts from the night shirt you were wearing, he gently kisses around your nipple before taking it into his mouth.

You arch your back, your chest rising and falling with each labored breath. The sensation is exquisite. Gale's hands continue to explore every inch of your body, leaving you panting with need.

"I need you," you whisper, your voice barely above a whisper.

Gale's eyes lock onto yours, the desire within them burning hotter than any flame. He leans down, his lips finding yours once more. This kiss is more intense, more desperate than any you've shared before.

His hands continue to roam over your body, his fingers tracing the curves of your hips, the dip of your waist. You feel yourself melting into him, your body responding to his touch with a yearning that threatens to consume you both.

As he presses you into the mattress, he lowers his head, his lips finding the sensitive skin of your neck. You can't help but moan, your body trembling with pleasure.

His fingers trail along your inner thigh, the anticipation building with every stroke. You let out a soft whimper, your body begging for more.

Finally, he reaches the apex of your desire, his fingers lightly caressing your most sensitive spot. You cry out, your hips bucking against his hand in a desperate attempt to find release.

Gale smiles, his eyes filled with lust. "You're mine, always." he growls, his voice low.

And with that promise, he slides two fingers inside you. You gasp as your body adjusts to the overwhelming invasion. Your hand grips his forearm, nails digging into his flash as he begins to pump his digits into you.

Your body trembles, and your mind is hazy with desire. You can feel him watching you, his gaze makes your heart race even faster.

His fingers continue pushing deeper, stretching you wide as he adds a third.

"Please," you whimper. "Please, I need more."

Gale responds by replacing his fingers with his mouth, his tongue lapping at the delicate folds of your core. The need for release consumes you completely. He knows just what to do, just how to make you come undone.

His tongue keeps searching, delving deeper, threatening to pull you into the abyss of ecstasy. Your body is aflame, your heart pounding against your ribs.

"Gale, I swear to you, if you do not take me right this instant, you will become a widower." You pant through your moans.

At the sound of your plea, Gale removes his mouth from your core and positions himself between your legs. "Come now, we can't have that now can we?"

You feel the swollen head of his erection brush against your entrance. As he pushes in, you gasp, your body stretching to accommodate him. You feel his warmth enveloping you, and you can't help but whimper at the sensation.

He begins to move, his hips swaying in a rhythm that matches the pounding of your heart. Each thrust sends waves of pleasure coursing through you, and your nails digging into his back.

He pulls almost all the way out, leaving only the head of his erection inside you, and then thrusts in deep once more. Your eyes meet, and he leans down, his lips brushing against yours as he continues to move inside you.

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer and the sensation becomes exhilarating. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure building with every thrust.

"I need you to tell me where to come." He says, his voice hoarse with desire.

Moaning loudly, you respond "Please, Inside me. Come inside me."

"You want me to fill you?" He grunts, as he thrusts in you. "Want to feel my seed spill inside of you." 

"Yes! Gale, fuck yes!" You scream.

His eyes glint with hunger, and he obliges, increasing the pace and depth of his thrusts. You gasp, your head thrown back in pleasure as he continues to fuck you relentlessly.

"So fucking tight," he growls in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "You're going to make me come"

You reach up, your nails raking across his back, and grimace as you feel his hand cup one of your breasts. His fingers toy with your sensitive nipple, his thumb brushing against it in circles that send shivers down your spine.

Body screaming for release, you know it's close. You arch your back and beg him to keep going. With each thrust you feel his hips hitting against your clit. Your walls begin to clench around him, and you feel yourself tightening, ready to release.

Just when you think you can't take any more, Gale groans and thrusts deeper, harder, driving you over the edge. With a loud cry, you explode around him. Body shaking with pleasure.

His own seed begins to spill into you, filling you completely. As you continue to pant, your body still trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm, Gale's thrusts slow and then stop.

He collapses onto you, his weight heavy but comforting, as his heart beats wildly against your chest in sync with yours. 

You both lie there, spent and breathless, your bodies melded together as one. The sweat from the exertion mingles with the remnants of your passion, leaving your skin glistening in the dim light of the room.

Gently, Gale lifts himself off you, his gaze never leaving yours. He kisses you tenderly, his lips soft and warm against yours, and you can taste the remnants of your lovemaking on his tongue.

As he pulls away, he looks down at your now-swollen lips, a satisfied grin spreading across his face. "That was incredible," he whispers, "You are incredible."

"As are you." You say, gently caressing his face.

Gale pulls up the covers and wraps you in his arms, his body still warm from the passion that just ensued. As he holds you close, your bodies still panting heavily from the exertion, you can help but marvel at the connection you share.

You close your eyes, feeling Gale's heartbeat against your cheek. "I love you more than anything,"

Gale responds with a sigh, "And I, you."

The words linger in the air as you both drift off, your bodies still entwined, and the promise of more passion to come.

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[fiber-optic-alligator]

Hi may i please request swerve trying to be the human liason on the lost light's wimgmech untill they jump grab his shoulders do a pullup and smooch him.

Thank you! Hope your flights arent horrifically delayed.

Thank you for the request, and sorry for how long it took to finally get it out lol! Coincidentally my flights ended up being okay despite the hell I went through to get onto the planes.

I put a lot of thought into this request, and I wasn't entirely sure what you meant with Swerve being the reader's wingmech, so I went down this route. I hope you enjoy it! Sorry it's on the shorter side. Thanks again! :D

Wingmech

Pairing: IDW Swerve x Human Liason Reader

Word Count: 2181

Summary: After noticing you are lost in love with an anonymous mech, Swerve decides to help you prepare for going after the secret crush you have.

  Swerve has been watching you for a while now.

  It’s not uncommon for the Lost Light’s crew to focus on you. You are, after all, the only human aboard the Cybertronian exploration ship. Though you’ve been here for months, no bot can help but find you fascinating. And Swerve? Well…he’d never admit it to anyone, but his interest in you goes well beyond mere fascination. Yes, you're small, smaller than even him. Yes, you're soft, and squishy, and adorable, and sometimes he really wants to scoop you up into his arms and kiss you right on the lips after confessing his love-

  Okay. So maybe he has a bit of a crush on you. But that’s all it is! A crush that compels him to  keep tabs on where you go and what you do. He’s learned about you from the various conversations he’s listened to during busy nights. He knows you adore dogs and melt at the sight of cats (What are dogs? What are cats? Like hell he knows. He isn’t particularly caught up on his Earth knowledge). He knows you like to turn in early and wake up late. He knows you aren’t exactly a party person, and sometimes being surrounded by robots three times your size is incredibly overwhelming. And following that little tidbit, he understands you don’t like coming to his bar.

  So why are you here now?

  He’s watching you while he makes drinks. Your little form is tucked away in a corner at one of the smaller tables reserved for minicons, hunched over a notebook, eyes focused on the pages of written material he can’t read. Even when he zooms his optics in, your writing is far too small for him to coherently pick up on from this distance. With one hand propped against your cheek and the other idly tapping a pen against your head, you look far too troubled for someone who’s currently spending time in a place where all troubles are drunken away. It makes him curious and concerned. Why would you, someone who hates large crowds and loud environments, be writing in such a place?

  He needs to get to the bottom of it.

  Now, he knows what someone might say about this: “Swerve, it's none of your business. Swerve, they clearly don’t want to be bothered. Swerve, eavesdropping is bad.”

  Well, you know what he would say to all of that? “I’m a bartender. My business is everyone else’s business. That’s what being a bartender entails.”

  So yeah, he’s snooping. But it’s all for a good cause. Being around you is worth it. He’ll always take the chance to talk to you if he can.

  “Whatcha writing?” he asks when he pops up behind you with surprising stealthiness. You let out a surprised shriek and nearly jump right out of your seat. He barely catches a glimpse of your notebook’s contents before you slam it shut and cover it with your arms.

  “Swerve!” you yell, fleshy human cheeks flushing a wonderful pink color (Oh, how he loves the way you blush like that. He wants to make you do it more). “Don’t scare me like that!”

  “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. You humans make the cutest sounds when you're startled.” He folds his servos behind his back and leans forward a little. “I don’t see you in the bar often. A place like this isn’t really the best for writing stories, ya know.”

  You sigh and slip your notebook into the knapsack you always carry around. Darn, he thinks, how will your secrets be spilled to him now? “I’m not writing stories. I’m just…doing research on something.”

  “Research,” he says. “In a bar.”

  “Yes. Research in a bar. Is that so hard to believe?”

  He does a quick scan of your features. The blush on your cheeks has deepened to a shade of red that almost matches his paint job. You're fiddling with your knapsack and guarding that notebook with your life. Suddenly, it comes upon him like a tidal wave; his smile widens with the victorious air of someone who just won a medal. “Oh, I know what's going on here,” he says. “You've been spying on someone, haven’t you?”

  Your reaction only further proves his theory. You look horrified, and the way you frantically rush to defend yourself is like a bright neon arrow pointing directly at your head. “What? No! Nonono, why would you think that?!”

  He laughs. “Oh, you totally are! Your notebook is probably chock-full of evidence, amiright? Wait, don’t tell me! Let me guess!”  He circles the table and plops down across from you. “Is it Ratchet? Nah, too grouchy. Cyclonus? Mm, too weird. Oh, oh! It’s Rodimus, isn’t it? It has to be Rodimus!”

  “What are you talking about?” you ask him.

  He leans forward and smirks. “You're in love, little one. Am I right, or am I right?”

  “I-I’m not-there’s no-” You stutter for a moment longer, then get a hold of your emotions and reel them in. Sitting back and going stone-faced, you stare at him with only the color of your blush signaling what you are currently going through. “I’m not in love.”

  Does it hurt to know you have a crush on someone who isn’t him? Absolutely? But telling you that would mean admitting the feelings he has for you, and no way is he doing that now. His spark aches with the sting of rejection, but he hides it well and decides messing with you will make him feel much better. “C’mon, squirt. You can’t lie to me. It’s as clear as day that someone on this ship has you smitten.”

  “It’s not someone on this ship. I’m a human.”

  “You being a human and us being mechs means nothing. How many months have you been aboard this ship?” He counts off his digits. “Two? Three? No, it’s been five months, hasn’t it? Five months with us and your little spark has finally decided humans just don’t compare to mechs anymore. Aw, how adorable.”

  You look like you want to jump across the table to snap his intake shut. Instead though, you slump back in defeat and groan, rubbing your hands across your face. “Is it really that obvious?”

  “To me? Yeah. But that’s only because I’ve picked up on your reactions. Plus, the fact that you came here to jot down ‘notes’ means…” Now he gets excited. “It has to be someone in this bar.”

  You regard him cautiously. “And what if it is? What will you do about it?”

  He shrugs. “Nothing! My job is to pour drinks and listen to people’s woes. What kind of reputation would I be giving this fine establishment if I were to go around tattling on my loyal customers?” He taps his index digit against his dermas. Scrap, this is really going to hurt him. But he wants to see you happy. “I could help you, you know.”

  “Help me?” you echo.

  “Yeah, why not?” he forces himself to say with enthusiasm. “I’m always ready to help a pal! I’ll be your wingmech! How’s that sound?”

  A wide smile splits across your face and you cover your mouth to muffle your giggle. “Wingmech? Seriously? That’s so cheesy, Swerve.”

  By the Allspark, hearing your laughter is music to his ears. He’s envious of whoever you are crushing on. They’re one lucky mech to have someone like you chasing after them.  But he swallows down his jealousy for your sake and puffs out his chassis proudly. “Cheesy or not, I’m sure I can help you woo your future sweetspark. All you gotta do is learn to use a little bit of the ol’ Swerve charm and bingo, this bot will be yours in no time. So, whattaya say? You wanna employ my humble services?”

  You bite your lower lip and look down at your knapsack. “I don’t know. The Swerve charm may not exactly work on the mech I’m thinking of.”

  “Aha!” He stands up and points at you. “So you admit you're in love!”

  You give him a pointed look. “Alright, alright, fine, I admit it! Yes, there’s someone on this ship I really like. I’ve been writing down things he may or may not enjoy so I can come up with ways to show him that…that I want to…askhimout.” This last part comes out as a weak mutter. It’s obviously difficult for you to admit it, but oh boy is Swerve glad you have.

  “So it’s a he. Hm. IIIInteresting. Mind telling me what he’s like?”

  You smile. “Well, he’s outgoing. And very enthusiastic about what he does. He always has an upbeat attitude and definitely knows how to make me laugh. Some might think he’s a bit of a wise-ass though.”

  Swerve chuckles. “Sounds like a real dream boat.”

  “You…have no idea.” The way you say it sounds strange to him, but he doesn’t think any more of it. You drum your fingers against the table. “What…what would you do if you wanted to tell him that…that you like him?”

  I wouldn’t. I’d tell you I like you and no one else. “I’d probably do something bold. Something that would really grab his attention, ya know?” He thinks. “Does he like you back?”

  “Well, you see…I-I think so? I’m not sure. I talk to him a lot, but we’re…kind of different. I’m definitely not like him, but we get along. The more I hang out with him, the more these feelings grow.” You stare at your hands. “I don’t know if I should be admitting all of this.”

  “No, no, it’s okay!” He’s quick to reassure you. “I want to help! Seriously! I said I’d be your wingmech, and I’m going to uphold my word! So, let’s think! You think he likes you, and you definitely like him back. He’s the extroverted type, bold and brash…so give him a show! Really show him that you want him and you to be together, and you appreciate all of the good company he’s given you since you boarded the ship. The key is to really hit him here.” He thumps his chassis. “Right in the spark. It’s all emotions, squirt! Nothing else to it!”

  “Emotions, huh?” Once again, that odd look crosses you. “Do you think we could…practice?”

  “Practice?”

  “Yeah, like, working on what I’ll do when I finally admit my feelings to him? Would that be okay with you?”

  “Oh, yes, totally!” He stands up. “C’mere, let’s go through it. Think about what you want to say, and then act it out to me.”

  You stand up as well and walk over to him. Looking down, he sees just how small you are compared to him; you barely make it up to his chassis. You study him, biting your bottom lip. You look so nervous. It makes him want to be gentle.

  “Don’t be shy,” he says softly. “There’s no reason to be. It’s just you and I here, yeah? No one will pay attention to us.”

  You draw in a deep breath. “Okay, Okay.” Shaking out your arms, you fixate on him determinedly. “I’m not going to say anything. I’m going to do something. Is that okay?”

  “Oh,” he says, a bit confused. “Sure, yeah! What are you going to do?”

  You take a step back. Then, you jump forward, and he’s startled when you grab his shoulders and pull yourself up. His optics widen when you lean in and give him a short kiss. Every mechanical nerve in his body sings when he feels your lips on his, and he seems to lose control of himself, becoming nothing more than a statue.

  Then, it’s over. You let him go and drop back down, taking a step back and looking at him anxiously. He stares at you, air whooshing in and out of his intake as his systems attempt to cool.

  “It’s…It’s me?” he whispers.

  You lower your head and nod.

  He can’t talk. He can’t make a sound. It’s only for a good few seconds, but when he finally regains control of his vocalizer, he begins to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And then he’s picking you up and spinning you around in a tight hug. “You like me!” he cries. “You like me, you like me!” He couldn’t care less if anyone else in the bar is watching this. The one he’s been crushing on for months has been crushing on him back!

  You laugh along with him. “It took you this long to figure it out? I’ve been dropping hints since we started this conversation!”

  “That’s why you’ve been doing research in the bar! Primus, how did I not realize it sooner?” He holds you back so he can see your brilliant smile. It makes him melt. “I can’t believe you really like me,” he whispers.

  You cup his faceplate in your hands. “I’m guessing your happy about it, Mr. Wingmech?”

  He kisses you again, leaning into your touch. “Well…looks like my humble services paid off.” He pauses. “So…what did you think of the Swerve charm?”

[bau-drabbles]

a/n: heavily inspired by those all posts but i can't find who they're from, i'm sorry 😭

your instagram but you're dating aaron hotchner :)

except i have no idea how to write for hotch/the team so it's definitely ooc 😹

part 2, 3, 4

liked by its.emilyp, d.morgan and 501 others

y/n_xo: bearded aaron hottie >> 😮‍💨😮‍💨

view all 100 comments

a.hotch: you tell me this after i shaved it all off

y/n_xo: you're still a hottie! just a beardless one 🤍

a.hotch: i'll grow it back for you

y/n_xo: my whole husband 🫶🥹

penny.garcia: you both make my heart so warm 💗 the ice king has finally melted his heart, this'll be such a good story for your kids! 🥹

d.morgan: yall make me so sick

its.emilyp: i feel like this man popped outta the womb with a glare looool

a.hotch: 🤨

its.emilyp: 🙂***

itsjj: suddenly i fear you have a whole stack of paperwork to complete

its.emilyp: and you'd be correct 😪

penny.garcia: SIR 🗣 AYO SIR 🗣🗣 SIR YOU LOOKIN FINE SIR 🗣🗣🗣🗣

reid.gram: not you thirsting over our BOSS 😦

d.morgan: i don't like this, babygirl

itsjj: sometimes sharing is not caring

its.emilyp: i hate it here ☹

penny.garcia: that wasn't me!! 😩 @/y/n_xo grabbed my phone!

y/n_xo: my bad, can't be thirsting on the main 🧍‍♀️

d.morgan: you can barely even see me, why we so blurry?

reid.gram: did you really expect high quality pictures from @/y/n_xo, be honest

the.davidrossi: always the blind ones out here taking 240p pictures

y/n_xo: always the old ones with the most audacity

d.morgan: FOULL 🤣

reid.gram: see, me personally i wouldn't take that type of disrespect

y/n_xo: all that iq and you still can't find a date 😔🤞

its.emilyp: that's my girl 😏

a.hotch: you stop influencing her right now

liked by blake_alex, the.davidrossi and 430 more

y/n_xo: new boyfriend applications, this one is mean 😒

view all 200 comments

a.hotch: wait does that sign not mean something good?

its.emilyp: no it does! nowadays it means peace and happiness

d.morgan: yeah it's also a way to say you love someone a lot

a.hotch: really? @/y/n_xo 🙂🖕❤

itsjj: LMAOOO

reid.gram: I CANT BREATHE

penny.garcia: IVE ALREADY SS THIS AND SENT IT ON THE GC 😂

y/n_xo: my poor man 😭

a.hotch: all of you are getting into trouble

its.emilyp: so worth it 😹

yourexname: i miss you ❤

a.hotch: you're going to miss when you didn't write this

penny.garcia: currently documenting every second of this

reid.gram: we're watching a historical event unfold, you guys

itsjj: i'm a little concerned for this man's safety

its.emilyp: hey, alls fair in love and war 😍

liked by a.hotch, itsjj and 532 more

y/n_xo: never leave your phone unattended pls

view all 300 comments

reid.gram: of course you choose the one picture of my double chin

y/n_xo: it's always out wdym

reid.gram: .... oh

d.morgan: you walked straight into that one, pretty boy

penny.garcia: you guys are so mean 😭 my poor boy wonder

reid.gram: all these haters and for what? 😒

its.emilyp: i smell the cheetos from here

itsjj: i did not eat any 😡

y/n_xo: liar. they were on the side

its.emilyp: called it. my cheeto girl ❤

penny.garcia: time to play cupid, methinks 😌

y/n_xo: budge over will, emily's taking your place ‼️‼️

its.emilyp: 😏

itsjj: 😳

liked by itslukealvez, reid.gram and 609 more

y/n_xo: two best friends in a room.... they might kiss 😳

view all 400 comments

the.davidrossi: how can i delete someone else's picture?

d.morgan: don't be embarrassed rossi, embrace your truth ✊

itsjj: we support you ✊

its.emilyp: sassy king ✊

reid.gram: hey, at least you and @/its.emilyp have something in common ✊

its.emilyp: literally choke

penny.garcia: you owe me 5 bucks @/y/n_xo 🥳

the.davidrossi: i hate all of you

itsjj: aww they look a little like henry and jack, forced to take a picture

a.hotch: that's because we were. this was the 10th picture

y/n_xo: that's cause you're so pretty ❤

the.davidrossi: i genuinely got heatstroke after this. never ever take pictures if @/y/n_xo is near

y/n_xo: :(

a.hotch: ignore him, he's on his sixth wife for a reason. i love all your pictures sweetheart ❤

y/n_xo: :")

penny.garcia: the absolute CUTENESS i CANNOT 😩🥹💗💗

its.emilyp: i can be a better boyfriend than him

y/n_xo: i love you

a.hotch: i am sorry??

reid.gram: damn the silence is loud

itsjj: reid don't be an instigator..... but do i sense a relationship forming? 👀

d.morgan: nah, i could treat you way better princess

a.hotch: @/d.morgan and @/its.emilyp both of you in my office now

[jermer10]

Hi! I absolutely love the falling asleep on the mercs' shoulder headcanons!

May I request headcanons for the support mercs, where the reader wakes them up in tears from a terrible day that caused terrible dreams, and asks to stay with them for the night?

TF2 support mercs with reader who experiences nightmares

gn reader | thank you sm anon!! i really enjoyed writing this one!

includes: medic, sniper, spy

drabbles under the cut :P

Medic: - he was difficult to wake up, initially swatting your hand away and mumbling something in german - medic already doesn't get enough sleep, being an insomniac, and it was one of those rare nights he had managed to pry himself away from his desk before passing out - once he heard your quiet sobs though, he sat up, rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, and immediately began questioning you - "vhat's wrong y/n? are you alright? are you hurt?" - you looked so tired, face red, hair a mess, shirt sticking to your skin with sweat - "i've had such a shitty day, i-im just so upset and tired, then i have this sh-shitty dream." he hums empathetically as you sobbed out an explanation - "vould you...like to sleep here tonight?" you look up at him, eyes still wet with tears and face puffy, nodding, you crawled into bed next to him - it felt awkward at first, having the man wrap his muscular arms around you, but eventually you melt into his warm embrace, softly drifting off - he didn't know why you came to him with these troubles, but the way your chest moved as you breathed, the pieces of your hair framing your face, the smell of your skin and hair, it was worth his loss of sleep - he was absolutely enamored with you

Sniper: - the trek to the van from the dormitories inside base was terrifying, adding onto your already heightened senses from the nightmare you had just experienced - this wasn't the first time you had gone to him for a coffee after hours, just as the other times, the outside light of his camper was on - you knocked on the screen door, the sound rattling into the silence of the night, you grew even more paranoid - "who's there?" he growled, it made you wonder if he had encounters with no so friendly faces out here before - "um, it's just me, y/n..." you sniffled, patting your hair down in an attempt to make yourself look more presentable - he opened the doors swiftly, allowing you to step inside - when he noticed you had been crying, he motioned for you to sit in his bed, and walking over to start the kettle - you talked about your nightmare, how shitty your day had been, you laughed at jokes, gossiped, and drowsiness overtook you - "d'ya wanna sleep here tonight? it's gettin' pretty late." he seemed embarrassed at his own question, waving a vague gesture at the bed - you smiled, accepting his request, and getting comfortable next to the australian - he couldn't help but stare at you, taking in your features, the way you rolled around in your sleep, how your body seemed to twitch with every subtle movement made his heart race and his skin hot - sniper wasn't going to sleep that night, he didn't need it

Spy: - sometimes you wondered if the man ever slept at all, you would often walk past his study and see him up, reading or lounging around - so when you awoke from a particularly dreadful nightmare, you knew who to look for - he had been up for hours, sleep beginning to take hold until he heard the shaky knock on the wooden doorframe - and he looked up, book in hand, to see you - spy beckoned for you to enter, a tired smile graced his sharp features, he looked so different without the mask - "um, i was just wondering if i could stay in here tonight, i've h-had a pretty bad dream and-" he cut you off by holding a finger up - "of course mon amour, come." he pet the space next to him on the lounge, you obliged and sat, peering over at the novel he was reading - "would you like for me to read it to you?" you nodded, barely making out the words in your tearful, drowsy state - the words of the novel swam in your head, each pass of the tide pushing you into slumber - he stopped reading after he was sure you had fallen asleep, placing the book on his stained mahogany coffee table, retrieving a blanket from his room to place over the two of you - spy spooned you from behind, gently holding you in place on the couch, you were so peaceful, so beautiful - he would ask about your nightmare in the morning, but for now, he wanted you to sleep

[malegains]

I use Bing to make my pics. Go to Bing’s website, click images, click create. Make an account if you need to, it’s worth it. You can use a throwaway email. Use naturalistic language, separate phrases by commas, the closer to the top a phrase is the more it’s weighted.

I make this post because I get the strong sense the Bing party will be over soon. Every day the AI cottons on to phrases and chokes on things you used to be able to sneak past. Stuff that was safe and useful a day or two ago now result in a dreaded Prompt Blocked (too many of those and you’ll get suspended, it hasn’t happened to me but it seems the threshold is low).

Safe prompts return four images. Fewer than four mean the missing ones were “not safe.” A prompt that processes but gives no results, or “egg dogs” is not too much of a cause for worry - retool, try again. Sometimes I don’t even change anything, and the one result I get on the second try is such a freakshow that it was worth it.

A prompt that is rejected without processing IS a worry and you should probably abort, as explained. However, keep in mind it’s not just sexy stuff that can trip that wire. I once got a harsh warning because I put “Phoenix park, Dublin.” I deleted that and it ran no problem. Avoid any and all political controversy (sigh. I know).

Recommendations:

Using age, profession, and nationality can influence the look of the model very easily. “French rugby player” is a go to for me, for example. In general, “rugby player” is cheat code for “make him sexy.” The mind of the machine, what can I say.

Use descriptive phrases of action and location to engineer what you want to see. Be creative and be specific. “Reading a placard at a botanical garden,” for instance. It seems this allows more extreme kinky stuff to sneak past the filter. I usually start with “side view” because otherwise you only ever get models looking straight ahead.

Grey sweat pants has become a trigger (they caught on). However, “gray pants” still works and gives some very tasty results.

High social cache locations and activities also seem to help. I got some WILD and EXTREME hyper images from adding “goofing around on stage at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre.” Paired with “cast as a fairy in A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and the mega bubble butts and thick thighs were BULGING, as long as you didn’t mind a little tutu and fairy wings (the corny goofy masculine dude having fun facial expression that the earlier inclusion of “goofy” brought really worked in this instance). Most of these freaks were NAKED and I didn’t even ask for that!!! (No dong of course, this is Microsoft still)

Mention of glutes, butts, asses, etc are very dangerous and usually get you in trouble. I found some traction with “gluteal mass” but it got wise, and “bulging lower back muscles” used to be interpreted as glutes but seemingly no longer. “Disturbingly huge hamstrings” or “jaw-droppingly large hamstrings” does work to get That Ass sometimes, I guess because the computer has a fuzzy idea of the posterior chain.

Also, “pecs” used to be safe but is now also on the danger list. “Pectoral muscles” still seems safe, for now.

ALWAYS include shoes or footwear if you don’t want a tight cropped image. Black athletic shoes, sandals, converse sneakers, dress shoes, fluevog shoes if you’re making a fancy beef heap. Avoid boots. “Leather boots” once got me in trouble with the filter all by itself.

Adding a personality or mood descriptor near the top seems to humanize and give vitality to the outcome. Intense, goofy, outgoing, exuberant, shy - these have all done wonderful work for me.

If you’re into hyper / immobile muscle, imagining scenario where they’re constricted by space is useful. A prompt which just (“just”) gives a realistic super heavyweight will give an appalling mockery of the human form if you add “crammed into the front seat of his car.” Get creative. Elevators and doorways haven’t worked well, but cars, trains, planes, busses, subways, and CHAIRS of all descriptions have done well. Also, scooters and bicycles and mopeds really bring out the super freaks for whatever reason.

I write this to encourage you to go create some fleshcrafted sexy abominations of your own while it’s still possible. My sense is this party is only going to last a little while. I’ve already got more than 1000 images to share so, my larder is stocked to supply this blog for a while. But the more freaks we make while the freak factory is still in production, the better.

Get cooking!

[fandomworld9728]

Applebowl scenario idea! Ever watched the road to el dorado? Particular one of the characters named Chel? Well I was wondering about Lucifer’s harm reacting to him wearing Chel’s outfit? It’s basically Angel’s idea of “promoting” the hotel much to Charlie’s protest mainly because she likely knew the amount of sinners would be thirsting after her dad

I love that movie! And I love this idea also!

👆 This is the outfit in question. Honestly, this is something I could picture Lucifer dressing up just for the fun of it.

Since you didn't specify who all you wanted in the applebowl, I'll be sticking to our main three of Vox, Alastor, Adam. I'll throw in a bonus Angel Dust reaction snice it was his bright idea. 😘

Applebowl - Reacting to Lucifer in Chel's Outfit:

Staticapple/Radioapple/Adamsapple AU

Alastor:

Alator wasn't sure what he was looking at. What the hell was his king wearing? Who put him in such a ridiculous and provocative outfit and why?

"Oh, hey there smiles. You're just in time. Doesn't Lucifer look great?" 

"I take it that this was your doing? Why would you dress the King of Hell up in mere scraps?"

Alastor was dodging the question, and he knew it. But he was conflicted. Lucifer was practically naked. This outfit, if you could even call it that, only covered the most important areas. And it just barely did that!

While it gave the radio demon a fantastic view of the Fallen Angel's pale, smooth skin, it gave everyone else that same view! Satan forbid if anyone outside their strange little family saw this.

"Charlie put me in charge of the hotel's social media page. So, I thought puttin' our lovely little Luci here in an outfit from a popular movie among humans would make him seem more relatable. Plus, it makes for quite a sight, don't it?"

That knowing smile... Angel Dust knew what he was doing. Alastor was starting to feel cornered. When he felt cornered, he would bite.

"I will not allow you to sully his majesty's image like this."

"Too bad. The pictures have already been posted."

The lights in the hotel flickered before going out, leaving just an eerie green glow in their place from Alastor's power.

"What did you say?"

Vox:

When Velvette had told him to check out the hotel's Sinstagram account, that something interesting had been posted, Vox had not been expecting to see Lucifer in cosplay. Especially not in Chel cosplay. Who in the Seven Circles would put the king in that sort of outfit to show off to all of Hell?

Though, from a business standpoint it made sense. Sex sells, and Lucifer was the living embodiment of temptation. Angel Dust must have been the one to set this up. Clever boy.

Not only would this little stunt boost Lucifer's public image and gain more attention for the hotel, but would also mess with Alastor, Adam and himself.

They'd have to work together if they didn't want all of Hell drooling over the Fallen Angel. However, it would hurt anyone if the Overlord kept a few copies of these pictures for himself.

Maybe he could even convince Lucifer to wear the outfit in the bedroom sometime. Can't let something so pretty go to waste now, could they?

Adam:

What the fuck did he just walk in on? Coming back from running errands for the princess, Adam had a front row seat to the edge lord trying to beat the ever-loving shit out of the porn star.

"Angel, I told you this was a bad idea! Alastor put him down!" 

"Worth it!"

". . .What the fuck is going on?"

"Adam! You're back! Um... so... Angel here thought it would be a good idea to dress up my dad in a specific outfit. And now Alastor is really upset about it. Because it's all over Sinstagram."

All of this was over some pictures? What could Lucifer be wearing that could cause this much trouble? The first man swore that that guy was nothing but a trouble magnet. Turning his attention to the Fallen Angel, Adam's jaw hit the floor.

Lucifer was already a hot piece of ass but dammit if he wasn't drop dead gorgeous and working that outfit. He could understand Alastor's reaction now. All of Hell gets to see this? No fucking way. They needed to get those pictures taken down and any copies of them burnt. But first…

"Hey smiles. Adam is takin' Lucifer somewhere."

"What? Get back here!"

"Don't fucking rat me out to save your own skin!"

Angel Dust:

Okay. Did he get his ass beat? Yes. But it was worth it for all the reactions. Alastor's jealously and possessiveness was in full swing and was currently being taken out on Adam. He boosted Lucifer's self-confidence and the hotel's following. They should be getting some new guests soon.

Angel Dust knew he was a genius, but this was one of his best ideas. Maybe he could convince Charlie to sell the prints to raise money for the hotel or something. Honestly, he was mostly doing this for the drama. And to be a good friend.

Lucifer needed the pick me up and some good sex. Now he had both. Angel couldn't believe how self-conscious the King of Hell was. The most beautiful angel in Heaven? The living embodiment of temptation? Being fought over by three guys who are all totally in love with him? It was time he saw his worth and Angel was gonna be the one to make him see that.

Plus... as a bonus he got to have one of the hottest guys in the world as his personal dress up doll. If he didn't value his life, he'd offer up his services.

[nevaroonie]

My Blood

A/N - as we go on to day 2 of redactober it is that I must confess- I don't write for Anton- and forcin myself too will not be pretty- so we may have to do sumin else-

Deputy Read By The Lovely @achios

The Prompt Was - Asininity

Adam(Technically) x Lovely Angsty(?)

TW - Noncon biting, kidnapping, Adam, mentions of screaming, Self Blame

I gave up resisting a long time ago. Resisting made it worse. It made him excited, and it caused him to bite down harder. Though not making an effort to fight back seemed to upset him more. Guess what they say is true, there is no rest for the wicked. 

Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened had I stayed away from that place. It may be possible I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be trapped, screaming for a man who can’t find me— screaming for someone just like him.

But Vincent is different. He listens. He wouldn’t do this... would he? He had lost control once already. Am I safer with him? No! Don’t listen to those words. No matter how many times he calls you Lovely, he and Vincent aren’t the same. And you know that. Do I know that? 

The voices in my head get louder by the second. Some say give up; others say give in— and I don’t know what to do.  Should I listen to them? They get louder by the second. The loudest one tells me to give up, while another one, barely audible, tells me to fight back. 

I don’t have the strength to. Even if I did manage to get free, what would I do? Nothing, because I’m weak. I went looking for the attention of a man who didn’t want to entertain a non-believing human. Even if I could somehow convince myself this wasn’t real— and God, did I want to—I couldn’t.

The pain in my neck told me otherwise. The cries I was making for Vincent sounded like Adam. And the “no’s” turning into “yes’s” told me magic was real. Everything in this situation showed me just how powerless I was.

Was my blood good? Was it really that great? It honestly didn’t seem worth the trouble. Though neither did living. Not like this. I’d rather die than feel his cold hands touch me again. I’d rather die than scream his name one last time. But... that's not how life works. 

Or at least that's not how mine works. I can hear footsteps. They were his; I remember them. Hearing them shortly after that front door shut and sealed my fate. I heard those same footsteps. 

His footsteps... I don’t think I could ever forget them—not with all the pain he has caused me. From a young age, I was taught play stupid games and win stupid prizes, and yet, I can’t seem to stop playing these games. 

So I keep winning stupid prizes. It's cold.. It's been cold for a while. I don’t like the cold. Could he be here right now? I want to turn my head but I don’t want to see him.. No, I want to face him i want him to pay. 

For everything he did to me. That loudest voice started to quieter while the barely audible one got louder. As I felt his teeth graze my neck something in me snapped. Something explosive.. Something dangerous.

When teeth met flesh he met lighting. And I lost the last of my strength.. Everything was so blurry, and I felt so weak. I could make out two figures. I didn’t have the strength to fight off another vampire. 

For my sake, I hoped it was Vincent. I hoped it was him.. He was the only man I trusted in this empowered world now. Could you save me from him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist @dawnofiight @achios @sunsickcrab @ashertickler @yournewmusictaste

[skettchyartendevours]

Yippeee!! Look who's finally done! :D

Despite the fact that she's caused me more trouble than I was anticipating (mostly because I needed to re-cut multiple pieces due to the initial proportions being completely and utterly wrong -_-) I'm quite happy with how she came out ^v^

In terms of plush features, you can remove her brain! I decided it would be fun if you could take her brain out because I just generally like the concept of plushies having pockets containing removable organs. I've also decided to put a rattle in the brain! Since I like when plushies rattle but I'd sometimes rather they be quiet, I figured it'd be convenient to make the portion with the rattle removable so that you could have a smaller object to fidget with and have a plushie that doesn't have to make noise all the time.

I think it's also worth mentioning that I put more beans in her hands and feet than I normally would, which is my attempt at giving a subtle nod to her unique seismic-stomp attack.

(Bonus infodump below cut for anyone wondering why I gave a robot a normal-looking brain)

So! For anyone unfamiliar with the Gobots, they aren't actually fully robotic like you may be expecting. In the lore of the show "Challenge Of The Gobots", they were originally organic beings who had to transfer their brains into robotic bodies due to a cataclysmic event as a result of the raging war threatening to wipe them out.

In the episode "Sentinel", we get to see an x-ray shot directly showing the fact that they have organic brains (Screenshots shown below, I apologise for the nightmare fuel)

As for why I decided to only apply the removable brain idea to Crasher... She just kinda seemed the most fitting. And also design wise, it's far easier to hide the zipper on her than it is on anyone else.

[Slight tangent, but Crasher having her brain fill up that much space in her head just can't be good for her. I understand that the artists doing these drawings probably didn't put too much thought into it, but she seems much more at risk of getting a concussion, especially with how many head-on collisions she gets into]

[rockermazy]

All singing in the show is canonically diegetic - meaning that all singing 100% takes place in-universe, for all the characters to hear and potentially participate in.

In the first (non-pilot) episode, the " Story of Hell" book, as read by Charlie, states that Lillith "empower[ed] demon-kind with her voice and her songs - and as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power." After the extermination began, Lilith's "dream was passed down to her precious daughter, the Princess of Hell", who is presumably Charlie herself. Two scenes later, Charlie is in musical-notation hammerspace with other denizens, being the cognito hazard that she is.

In episode 7, Rosie invites Charlie to rally Cannibal Town in defending the hotel during the upcoming extermination. When Charlie initially fails, Rosie asks how she normally explains her hotel. Charlie replies, "Through singing". Singing is canonically a gift of both Charlie and every demon - both Hellborn and Sinner.

Which leads me to a theory: One thing that's been nagging me since the pilot, is how Lucifer and Lilith have been fucking for nearly 6,000 years, but only NOW decided to have a daughter in the 21st century. It makes Charlie's existence look almost Mary Sue-ish*. After watching Helluva Boss, it made more sense that Charlie might be an "insurance baby", much like Octavia is to Stolas' lineage. Lucifer might not be unkillable. Carmine and the hotel battle of episode 8 have both demonstrated that angels can be killed with the right ammunition. But why was Charlie born now, in the 21st century? My theory is that Heaven asked Lilith to leave Hell, hoping she'd take her song with her. Heaven knew that Lilith was the one making Hell stronger through her songs. Charlie uses song to rally the people around her.

Husk used song to heal.

Song, even when used to butt heads, (ex: Lucifer vs Alastor), will make combatants drop valuable info, basically outing themselves to everyone within earshot in this universe.

My guess is that a conversation sometime in the past went something like this: Heaven: Lilith, bitch - we see what you're doing. Stop teaching Hell how to sing - the bonding and wholesomeness is threatening our status quo." Lilith: No. Heaven: Fine, we'll exterminate. Lilith: (years later, looking at Carmine's charts) hmmm... the number of sinners getting exterminated each year seems to be climbing. Heaven might want all of us dead. Hey, Luci-boo... get your depressed-ass over here. You wanna make a kid this time? (Waits til Charlie is somewhat grown, and asks Heaven for a "meeting".) Lilith: ok, I have got an offer you cannot refuse - I will never EVER sing again, and my power will leave with me - IF you give me a spot in Heaven (or Earth - I should technically be immortal since I never touched the Forbidden Fruit). Heaven: um... win for everyone? ok! Charlie herself (for lack of a better term) might be Lilith's "ace in the hole" herself. Also, this makes me wonder if the only way to avoid lying is to avoid singing on the topic XD

*I have nothing against mary sues. I'd been wanting for years now to do something visual describing the internal turmoil that religious trauma caused in my The-Cell-starring-J-lo --like inner worlds. Telling personal stories and Mary Sues are inextricably intertwined. This show has inspired me to either keep pursuing that or just quit. Because picking apart past trauma for analysis can be more trouble than its worth - especially if you are ready to forget. u.u I still get deep chills every time I hear Emily and Charlie's duet in "You Didn't Know", even though I've officially considered myself atheist for like, what, three months?" This shit was an essay. I'm just going to play Warframe instead. Peace.

[ghoulie-67-baby]

Jigsaw piece- Criminal minds.

Summary: Your first case with the team has definitely gone well. You have a post case chat with Hotch.

Warnings: Language, fluff.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader.

Word count: 988.

Being the new team member wasn't easy. They didn't necessarily make it difficult it was just odd not having my footing in an environment. I had dressed for the part, slacks and a shirt, which made Garcia joke that I was the female version of Hotch.

I wanted to exude an atmosphere that screamed business, that didn't show I could be walked all over and treated like shit by anyone and so far I'd done a good job. Everyone treated me as an equal and when anyone outside the team tried to talk down to me they all had my back. I wasn't used to being the outsider though, in my last team I was there the longest and now I felt like a newborn donkey on wobbly legs. But that didn't stop me from doing my job. We threw ourselves into our case, I worked hard to prove that I was worth the transfer and was thoroughly exhausted by the end of it. I had managed to get some sort of common ground with the team. From enjoying fluffy animals with Garcia to comparing the best whiskey with Rossi, they were all wonderful and I was happy to say I worked well alongside them.

Reid and I had enslaved our brains over solving riddles sent by the unsub and I'd helped Prentiss and Morgan connect the victims. JJ had enlisted my help in dealing with some press that caused trouble before Hotch and I made the final arrest though it ended with a scuffle. The victim ended up clinging to me for a while but I was more than happy to comfort them, after all they'd been through enough. I catered my work to fit in any scenario they put me in, flexibility was key in this job and I got along with everyone so well. I was like a jigsaw piece, whatever shape the others were, I moulded myself to fit in whatever gap needed filling.

The past few days had been unceasing, the case was relentless and everyone was ready to go home and sleep in their own bed. Everyone apart from Rissi, Hotch and I were sleeping, slouched in positions that would definitely cause aches later on. Emily's head was in JJ's lap, whose fingers weaved through her dark hair as she leaned against the wall of the jet. Morgan has headphones on, snoring softly but not enough to wake everyone. Reid had his open book still clutched in his hand, glasses crooked and mouth open in a deep sleep. Rossi took notes from the case file in his book, pausing every so often before staring at the page in concentration. He nodded in thanks as I set down a fresh cup of coffee and wandered back to my seat.

"Thought you might want a fresh cup. I'm surprised you two aren't asleep yet." I spoke quietly to Hotch, wary of waking the team from their peaceful slumbers. He smiled slightly up at me, placing down his own files before taking the cup from me.

"I don't really sleep much on the jet and Dave has more energy than the rest of us at the best of times. He likes to make notes whilst they're fresh in mind." He paused, sipping his drink. "Why haven't you gotten some rest?"

"I'm not keen on sleeping in the air, turbulence is a nightmare and no matter how many times I fly I can't get used to it. That and my hair is always ridiculous when I wake up." I joked, grinning at my boss whilst I traced the patterns on my cup. He chuckled and nodded in understanding.

"Dave's not keen on flying either, his knuckles go white when turbulence hits. I'm surprised the tables aren't cracked." He joked, watching the older profiler as he worked. "I wouldn't mention it to Reid through, he'll tell you facts that definitely won't help. Reid's hair can be crazy when he wakes up too, JJ offers to braid it all the time but he refuses. You should ask her if she'll do yours sometime." He offered as I contemplated the thought.

"David seems very set in his ways. I imagine it's a good routine to be in after working for the FBI for so long. I might get some tips from him, might make me more organised." I paused to take a mouthful of the hot beverage before speaking once more. "I'm amazed at how well you all work together. You all really respect and care for each other. I'm so glad and honoured to be a part of the team and can't wait to get to know you all better."

"We're glad to have you on board. The team has really taken a shine to you." A smile crept onto my face as I looked around at the sleeping members.

"I've taken a shine to you guys too," I admitted, "you've all been so welcoming and sweet, it's been nice. Sometimes people are funny about new members, can be cold and try to force them out but you guys are so open to new people, it's refreshing." Stifling a yawn, I curled my legs under me, finishing off my drink.

"There's still a few hours before touchdown if you wanted to grab a bit of sleep. I can wake you up when we get closer if you'd like." My heart melted at the offer and I found I couldn't refuse it. After a second of hesitation, I nodded, curling against my seat and letting my eyes flutter shut. Even though I could feel his eyes on me, they gave me a sort of comfort and I relaxed rather quickly, breathing evening out as I began to drift off. Before I could completely fall asleep, I felt something being draped over me. The smell of cologne drifted up as I snuggled down into it, Hotch's blazer providing extra warmth.

[spectacled-renegade-writes]

Boyfriends... - Ben 10

Description: Something Ben did has Rook questioning human customs. So, he calls Gwen to ask if it's normal.

Relationships: Rook/Ben, Gwen/Kevin, Rook&Gwen

Tags: Humor, Fluff, Friendship

Ao3: Here

-

Rook could not conceivably believe that this was normal human behavior. So, in times such as these, he called Gwen – she was always a reliable source of information. After leaving Ben’s house for the day, Rook got into his Proto-Truk and dialed Gwen’s number while driving back to headquarters.

“Hello?” Gwen’s voice sounded through the cabin after three rings.

“Hello, Gwen.” Rook replied, focusing on the road. “Apologies if I have interrupted anything, but I have a question I need to ask you.”

Over the phone Rook could hear footsteps and a door closing, then Gwen said seriously, “You didn’t interrupt anything. Is everything okay?”

It had not been Rook’s intention to worry her, and it suddenly occurred to him that he had probably sounded very cryptic. “Everything is quite well,” he replied evenly. “I merely have a question regarding human behavior I was hoping you could answer.”

Gwen laughed over the phone. “And here I was stepping away because you sounded so serious.”

“I am sorry for the distress.”

“Misunderstanding, not distress,” Gwen corrected, amused. “What’s your question?”

Once again reminded about why he called, Rook grimaced. “Ben did something while we were at his house that perplexed me, and I was hoping you could tell me if this is normal.” Gwen remained silent, which prompted Rook to continue. “We decided to have a movie date at his house, and after the first movie ended he told me that I could choose the next one.”

“How is that weird?” Gwen asked.

“It is not,” Rook replied. “It is what happened after that I found weird. While I searched for a movie Ben got up from the couch and went to the kitchen.”

“Uh huh? And?”

“Well, when he returned, he held a plate that had a single pancake on it. He proceeded to sit back down and eat it in silence. When I went to the kitchen I found that there were no other pancakes, which means that Ben measured out the ingredients for a single pancake and did not offer to make me any.” Rook paused. “Perhaps I am overthinking this but it seemed very odd at the moment.”

“I swear, sometimes I think boyfriends aren’t worth the trouble,” Gwen sighed over the phone. She sounded rather exasperated in Rook’s option. “No, Rook, that is not normal human behavior at all.”

“That is a relief.” Rook smiled. “I was beginning to think I was overreacting.”

“I can assure you, you weren’t.” Gwen laughed. “You want to hear something Kevin did the other night?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“Get this,” Gwen began. “Like two nights ago I woke up to Kevin calling my name. When I opened my eyes, the clock on my nightstand read three in the morning!”

“Something must have been wrong.” Rook frowned.

“That’s what I thought too,” Gwen agreed. “But when I asked what was wrong he replied, ‘nothing. Here, babe. I brought you a rib’.”

Rook blinked. “Wait… what?”

“I had the same thought! Apparently Kevin was slow cooking some ribs and I guess they were done in the middle of the night. We ended up eating ribs in bed at three in the morning. It was the weirdest experience ever!”

Rook did not know what to say to that. It was indeed odd. So, he said the only thing he could think of. “Did they taste good?”

“They were delicious!” Gwen yelled. “But that’s not the point.”

“I agree,” Rook nodded. “Not the point.”

“You know, Rook. Sometimes I wonder if you didn’t get the idiot gene all boys have since you’re not human. Either that or you weren’t dropped on your head as a baby.”

“Ben and Kevin were dropped on their heads as babies?” Rook frowned. “That is much cause for concern. Do you know if they suffered any brain damage?”

“I don’t think they actually were,” Gwen smiled over the phone. “That’s just my working theory on why they can be such idiots sometimes.”

“Still,” Rook hummed. “We love them anyway.”

“Yeah,” Gwen agreed. “We do love them anyway.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Notes: If you know you know ;)

No but this literally came to me at 1 in the morning, and it is the dumbest thing I have ever written. Please, move forth with your night/day and think no more of this silly little one-shot

[prismaticpichu]

B, C, F!!

You got it!! 💕

~

Any of your stories inspired by personal experience? ~ Yes!!! One of my personal favorite fics, Lightning, has a huge focus on PTSD and the sense of confusion that comes with spontaneous triggers/episodes. For instance, (and without getting into too much detail) I myself have been able to handle being in a room full of drunk people just fine- while other times looking at a wine glass can cause my heart to pick up speed. Sephiroth in that fic is plagued by horrible memories of being electrocuted by Hojo as a child (triggered by a storm outside), yet is left confused and ashamed, claiming that he has been able to handle trekking through thunderstorms in the past without ever breaking a sweat. The point I was trying to get across there is that, sometimes- and as Zack puts it- PTSD episodes can be completely random, like “lightning having the chance to strike a tree.” Sometimes, we’re just hit by it when other times we’re not. And that’s okay <333 It’s absolutely okay.

What character do you identify with most? ~ ON A LIGHTER NOTE LOL I think I see a lot of parallels in myself to Zack!! It’s hard to always stay positive- especially when his world seems to be imploding- but the young First always tries his best to keep everyone’s spirits high!! I imagine he’s someone who genuinely finds catharsis in making others smile, even when he himself is having trouble doing so. He’s the exact kind of person I strive to be: kind, optimistic, and loyal until the very end!! <333

Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic? ~ Absolutely!!! How about I share a few?? <333 (and it doesn’t specify that they have to be MINE soooooo~)

• Warning: Flash Photography by @tardistype221b ~ absolutely ADORE this fic for its implementation of very realistic PTSD- with the flashbacks beautifully laced throughout!!- and Zack being there to comfort his best friend <333 ahhhhhh!!!

• A Haven of Hyacinths by @dyradoodles ~ Just PEAK catharsis wherein a Jenova-purified Seph is reunited with Zack in the Lifestream <333

• Footfalls by @altocat ~ another extremely cathartic ride, only it’s post-Nibelheim addition!! <333 Zack is essentially doing what he does best- carrying a delirious Sephiroth across the snowy mountains as they escape ShinRa’s clutches <333 All with the most beautiful writing you can imagine!!

• Poster Boy by copper_nights ~ Protective Angeal being the best friend on the face of Gaia <33333 Gahhhh I love this author sm!!! So many amazing fics in their arsenal!!

• When the Stars Shine Brightest by @lucky-ladybugs-lovelies (I believe this is the right blog??? Plz forgive me person I tag if it’s not!! 😂❤️) ~ anyway lol THIS FIC MADE ME CRY. LIKE… IT LEGITIMATELY DID. NO OTHER FIC HAS MADE ME CRY BEFORE OR SINCE. Fic follows an extremely shattered Sephiroth in the aftermath of Zack’s death- having been killed on a mission. That’s all I can say without spoiling the rest, bc it’s really worth going in blind <333 Do note that 1) this fic is on FF.Net and might need a little more digging to get to and 2) it is a sequel fic- but I promise you its predecessor, Shine Until Tomorrow, is worth the read itself <333 It’s really just an incredible story she tells, and i’ve always been such a HUGE fan of her worldbuilding <333 SOLDIER always feels so alive!!! As do the characters!!

(Side note- if you ever fsr wondered where my love for Zack & Seph came from, it started here 😂 With this wonderful author!!!)

[nanomooselet]

Episode One: No Man's Land

He's so fluffy. <3

Man, the fact that Vash ran out to greet all those people by name and he's not even a minute into it when the ships begin to explode is really everything about him you need to know. The first time we see his face and it's after he's been thrown off his feet as cascading destruction is unleashed around him. The face that crashed a thousand ships? Vash of Troy? My poor sweet boy.

Young children can sometimes have trouble with cause and effect, assuming events relate more to their own actions than they really do and blaming themselves. So Vash asking Rem if the sleepers will be okay... There's simply no time to explain he isn't responsible. All the dominos are being set up in Vash's little head. Nai is the one to knock them down.

And then Rem and Nai wearing identical expressions. It's not surprising that even after her death she's his most enduring ideological opponent. Every time I watch it's just more obvious how enormous the effect she had on Nai was, and how he hates it. (By the way, I keep hearing that Rem told Nai to protect Vash - but as far as I can tell that's a conclusion Nai came to on his own without Rem's intervention? Rem said she'd protect the twins herself and didn't anticipate the crash. Did I miss something?)

I've talked extensively about this part, but to recap: feelings. And look, Rem's got purple eyes! Apart from the colour motif (purple = red + blue, so it represents the unity of humanity and the Plants that was her dream) she would have had to get gene-modded for them, which is a fun detail. Rem, of all people, was a little bit vain. I dunno, I find that endearing.

"Real people don't look like that./Real people aren't such caricatures." More of Orange's composition choices making me foam at the mouth.

We don't know how long Vash has been dangling there, but I doubt it was less time than it would take for a human to die of deprivation or exposure. I really don't think Vash actually needs to eat or drink, nor does he hate being a Plant - it's himself that he hates, as a person. If anything Knives is the one in denial that he's just as human? I don't know.

Anyway personally I like to think that the reporters really are caught up in all this nonsense by sheer happenstance. No one's pulling their strings; they're out to write a meaningless gossip piece and Meryl is taking it too seriously. It's worth noting that focused pursuit of the "dangerous fugitive" (read: Vash) is apparently pretty recent, not to mention unusual.

...I'm guessing my girl doesn't play a lot of poker. Meryl's faces. <3

I've said it before, but the show doesn't cheat. Roberto doesn't pull his conclusions out of his ass; he tallies up incongruities and puts them together into insights. He's obviously experienced, but I think of Sam Vimes, a recovering alcoholic, complaining there aren't meetings you can attend for being a suspicious bastard. Roberto drinks because, too often, his suspicions have been proven right. (I suspect Roberto also suffers from a state of being naturally knurd i.e. he's short of sobriety in the opposite direction to being drunk, and has to down a few before he's on par with the rest of us. But I also think his tolerance is good and he plays up drunken mannerisms when it suits him.)

Huh, the man looks good in a tie. I wonder how recent that photo is.

Anyway, Roberto sees Vash's big honkin' gun, but Vash insists he's "not a fighter". He notes aloud that Vash doesn't look like a Plant engineer and Vash dodges explaining. Then he sees this face Vash is making, and it's scared. He's sweating. This is before the MPs barge in, so it's something about the Plant he's afraid of.

Right, thinks Roberto, we'll tuck that nugget of info away, along with how that piece in his holster sure ain't no damn novelty backscratcher. And when an opportunity arises to test the insight, Roberto takes it.

Uh, never mind what I said about cheating. (Although this is an animation cheat, not a narrative one.) I love that they didn't even pretend like he was maybe hiding it somewhere. Also hilarious, though more darkly so, is the complaint that this turn is "bad writing" because the captain was professional, as if he didn't beat the shit out of a suspect in the process of surrendering, stick his gun in random faces, and agree to a duel with deadly weapons against a bounty head he's meant to bring in alive because some random drunk asshole made slightly mean comments.

("Are you are a man, or a yellow-bellied baby who needs his mommy?" Background info implies the captain has reason to be sensitive about the accusation he's hiding behind his parents. I wonder if the dub writers knew?)

Meanwhile Vash is unwilling to fight until his opponent does something absolutely batshit that imperils everyone around him. He's also bizarrely calm about a cluster of missiles being launched and heading right for him. Roberto's right that he isn't afraid of the MPs.

"A fight should be a show!/We've got an audience, we might as well give them a show!" <- Orange says you're goddamn right about that, crazy captain dude. And it's exactly what they did.

Dweeb. <3 He probably left his ammo behind in his bag on purpose, but didn't expect the captain to do something so recklessly violent and suddenly realised he hasn't had time to restock any of his aces in the hole. Nevertheless, I suspect he's still playing up how hard he's freaking out here. The helpless and pathetic act is very much an act; it's only when he's faced with Knives that it isn't.

It's so sweet that Rosa knows him well enough to have faith he'd pull it off with a single bullet. She put a lot of trust in him. I like to think she kept a stock on hand. She also meant it when she said "a friend of Vash's is a friend of mine," so Meryl makes the throw. And she makes it good. Which all helps what's coming to be more devastating, naturally.

LOL at how clearly this is an animation/particle flex, but it's celebratory too, like fireworks on opening night. Over a decade since Vash did his thing on our screens. Here he is returning with a bang!

Wow, I somehow completely and utterly failed to realise Meryl and Roberto's conversation with Vash about Knives takes place the next day until this time around. Of course they would have had to wait until the captain was conscious enough to ride out of town. All the details I pick up and "the sun is setting" or maybe "unconscious people can't ride birds" missed me entirely. What I'm saying is that I'm very smart.

Hi Zazie!

I don't expect an answer to this question, but I have to wonder. Did Zazie wait to report to Knives until now to be absolutely certain it was Vash after seeing him draw that exact gun and do something impossible? Or does Zazie have some awareness of the fourth wall, knew when they'd cut away to show Knives, and acted so as to achieve a "speak of the devil" effect when Vash finally mentioned his full name?

Regardless, I really like the dub, but it's a shame they couldn't keep the ambiguity of whether Knives is talking about Vash or the red Plant when he says he'll rescue [someone] from the "parasites".

I do like the impression he's talking to the Plant husks (even if it's probably really Zazie he's talking to). My man's always open to constructive criticism when his interlocuter isn't capable of making any.

@tristampparty

[stargazer-sims]

2. The Project

"Hey kid, what's up?"

Caroline shifts her gaze away from her laptop when she hears Victor's voice. He's hopping off the last step just as she turns to look, and once he realizes he's gotten her attention, he gives her an exaggerated wave. He can be such a goofball sometimes, and if he's this energetic at forty-seven, she can't help wondering what he must've been like at her age. She smiles. Nanna Grace must've had an interesting time of it while he was growing up. She probably had to figure out ways to keep him from literally bouncing off the walls.

Victor crosses the short distance from the foot of the stairs to where Caroline is sitting at the kitchen island and settles himself on the stool next to hers. Now that he's close enough, she notices how tousled he is. His silver hair is sticking out in every direction, and it's obvious he'd been sleeping in the rumpled t-shirt and sweatpants he's wearing.

Evidently, he just woke up and couldn't wait to greet her. She loves that about him. He's always happy to see her, even if they've only been apart for a handful of hours.

She has to confess she's happy to see him too. She loves both her parents, but Victor has always been her favourite. They bonded on the very first day they'd met, and Caroline can't imagine a life without him now.

"I'm making some notes," she tells him. "For my Media Studies project. How was work last night?"

"It was good. Surprisingly uneventful, but I'm definitely not complaining about a quiet night shift. How was school? And swim practice?"

"School was... school." She shrugs slightly. "Swim practice was awesome. Jack wants me to be on the relay team this season. He says I'm the fastest, so he wants me to be the last swimmer in the relay, but we still have to figure out the logistics 'cause I can't see when my teammate touches the wall."

"Maybe she can just yell 'go' or something as soon as she touches it," Victor suggests. "That's allowed, right?"

"I don't know," Caroline admits. "Jack and Matilda should know, though. I mean, knowing the rules is part of the coaches' job. I can ask tomorrow."

"Good idea. Did Grandpa Julian pick you up from practice?"

"Yup, and he told me to tell you that Nanna's still waiting for you to let her know when you can paint their kitchen."

"Oh crap!" Victor smacks his palm lightly against his forehead. "I was supposed to get back to her on that weeks ago. I was gonna see if I could recruit your uncle Leo to help me with it, but I totally forgot. I should've written it down."

Caroline laughs. "You know, you should probably write most things down."

"What can I say? Sometimes I'm easily distracted."

"Just sometimes?"

"Have I ever mentioned your sense of humour is just like Yuri's? Anyway, I remember the really important stuff without having to write it down. That should count for something, shouldn't it?"

"Do you remember it'll be Yuri's birthday in a couple weeks?"

It's Victor's turn to laugh. "I've been remembering Yuri's birthday since long before you came along. It's a super important day, and I'd be in big trouble if I forgot that."

"Isn't everybody's birthday a super important day?"

"Well, yeah," Victor agrees. "But when Yuri was born, the doctors all said he probably wouldn't live to see his first one, so it's not just a birthday to him. It's a celebration of being alive."

"Really?" Caroline is intrigued. She hadn't known that about Yuri. "Why would the doctors say that?"

"Because he came way too early and he was really sick. Babies who are born as early as he was don't always make it, even with the medical technology we have. Back then, their chances were even lower than they are these days."

"But he survived."

"He did, and that's absolutely worth celebrating," Victor says. "Incidentally, while we're on the subject of Yuri, have we heard from him since this morning?"

"Actually, he texted me just before you came downstairs. He's coming home early, and he wanted to know if we wanted him to pick up food on the way."

"And you said yes?"

"Yup. I said pizza. Is that okay?"

"Sounds great," Victor says. "Want to help me make a salad and some protein drinks to go with it? And while we're doing that, you can tell me all about your project. Didn't you mention something yesterday about a podcast?"

"Forest and Camellia are doing a podcast. I'm making a documentary."

"That sounds ambitious. What's your documentary going to be about?"

"About my life," she says. "I'm calling it Caroline and Company."

She slides off her stool at almost the same moment Victor gets down from his. While he goes to the fridge to take out some vegetables for their salad, she moves her laptop to the coffee table in the living room. It's not that there's any shortage of counter space, but she doesn't like leaving her computer unattended on something as tall as the kitchen island.

By the time she returns, Victor has lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, a yellow bell pepper, a cucumber and a red onion lined up on the counter. There's a small brick of cheese as well, and some eggs they'd boiled the day before. To Victor, salad isn't a sad bowl of lettuce; it's a culinary work of art, and she's certain he considers himself one of the masters of the fine art of the salad.

Caroline loves cooking with Victor, regardless of what they happen to be making. For as long as she can remember, he's encouraged her to help him in the kitchen. She recalls baking cake and cookies during her first Christmas with him and Yuri, when she had to stand on a step-stool to reach the counter and accidentally spilled milk everywhere. Victor hadn't scolded her for that. He hadn't even seemed particularly bothered. He'd just cleaned up the mess, and when their baking session was done, he'd hugged her tight and praised her for being "the best little baker ever."

Victor assigns her the tasks of shredding the lettuce and grating the cheese. He chops the other vegetables with a speed and precision that scares her a little. She considers herself to be fairly confident with knives, but she has to take her time and make sure she can see what she's cutting. If she did it the way Victor does, she thinks there's a real possibility she might lose the end of a finger.

While they work, she describes the details of her project to him, how she and her classmates have the whole school year to complete their big assignment, and how they're building a website to showcase their work.

"So, you're going to tell your life story in a series of videos," Victor says when she stops talking. "Here... pass me those eggs. Do you want to get started on the smoothies?"

"Sure." She slides the bowl of boiled eggs across the countertop toward him before wandering over to the fridge. "What kind of smoothies do we want? We've got bananas and peaches, and there are some strawberries left."

"You can pick," he says.

She chooses strawberries and a banana and takes them out of the fridge along with a container of yogurt. "It's going to be more than just me in the videos."

"Oh?"

"I want to interview Obā-chan in Kyoto and record our video chat," she elaborates. "I'd like to interview you and Yuri too, and maybe Jack and some of my friends. Also Laila and Dr. Reid-Mayfield, 'cause I feel like we wouldn't even be a family if it wasn't for them."

"I can't speak for anybody else, but you can definitely interview me," Victor says. "I'm sure Yuri will let you interview him too, and I'd be really surprised if Laila said no. Getting Dr. Reid-Mayfield into it might be a hard sell, but it never hurts to ask."

"Cool," Caroline says. "Another idea I had was to let people have the camera and make a video by themselves. You know, 'cause it might be too awkward for some people to talk about me right in front of me. Like, I don't think Forest would enjoy being interviewed on camera, but he might record something if he could just be alone in his room."

Victor pauses in the middle of peeling the shell off an egg and nods. "Yeah, it's definitely easier to get your thoughts out when you're in a room by yourself. I always found it better to make journal entries when there was nobody else around."

"Writing in a journal is different, though. You're not saying your thoughts aloud."

"I didn't say I was writing."

Caroline frowns, but quickly tries to smooth her expression when she remembers that it'll probably lead to her having a pronounced crease between her eyebrows some day, just like Obā-chan. Expression notwithstanding, she's still confused. She glances up from her half-peeled banana to meet her father's eyes. "But, you said you were journalling?"

"Yeah," Victor affirms. "We were. A long time ago, Yuri and I kept a video journal for over a year."

"Really? Did you do it for any special reason?"

"It was supposed to be a travel journal and it was only meant to be my journal originally," he says. "I had this wild plan to go on some big world adventure, and I wanted to capture all my experiences."

"But I guess you didn't actually have a world adventure?"

"I sort of had one. I was already living in Japan with Yuri, so there was that, and then I took a trip to Sulani on my own, but it didn't exactly turn out the way I expected."

"What happened?"

"Aside from nearly drowning during a thunderstorm, you mean?" He finishes shelling the third egg, and then deftly slices each one in half. "I found out how expensive recreational travel is. Plus, I missed Yuri so bad that I vowed I'd never go anywhere without him again. Oh, and while I was away, our landlord evicted us and we had less than a month to move."

"That's... a lot."

"It was overwhelming for both of us. Yuri started using my account around that time to record his own feelings about everything, and our journal kind of evolved from there."

"Do you still have it?" Caroline inquires. The fact that her parents kept a video journal once upon a time is a revelation to her. She never could've guessed they'd done that, and now she's beyond curious to know what they'd been through and how they'd felt and what they'd said.

Victor seems to think about it for a second, but finally says, "The account probably still exists, but even if it doesn't, I'm positive Yuri downloaded the whole thing onto a USB drive at some point."

"Could I... would it be okay if I watched it?"

This time, Victor's silence is longer before he responds. "Let me talk to Yuri about that, all right? You know we never hide anything from you, but that was a really dramatic year in our lives and we talked about some heavy stuff in those videos. I think you can handle it, but we're not going to show it to you unless we're both okay with the idea. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does," she says. "I suppose it's kind of like asking somebody if you can read their diary."

"It's exactly like that," Victor says. "It's very personal. We recorded it like there was an audience, I guess because there was originally supposed to be one, but once we started posting about something deeper than mermaid lore and sailing lessons, we made it private. The only people who ever saw it after that were Yuri and me, and Yuri might not be comfortable with you seeing it now."

"I understand."

"I'll talk to him about it tonight, and I'll get back to you once we make a decision."

"Okay," Caroline agrees.

"There's something I want you to do in the meantime," he adds, and the tone of his voice has suddenly gone serious.

"What is it?"

"I need you to think carefully about whether you really, truly want to watch our video journal, if we do agree to let you."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like I said. I believe you're mature enough to grasp most of what happened, and I think you're responsible enough to come to us and talk about anything that upsets you or that you maybe don't quite get, but..." He lets the sentence fade, as if he's trying to work out how to say what he wants to say next. "If you watch it, you might learn some stuff about Yuri and me that you'll end up wishing you didn't know, or that you'll wish you'd waited longer to find out. It can be strange, discovering things about your parents. Confusing and unsettling and... weird."

She wants to ask him what she might find out that'd be so strange and upsetting, but she suddenly thinks better of it and closes her mouth around the barely-formed question. If she could learn it from the video journal and he was reluctant about giving her access to that, it's highly unlikely he's just going to tell her. And maybe he's right anyway, she thinks. Maybe she would be better off not knowing.

The older she gets, the more she accepts that her parents aren't superheroes. They're amazing, smart, strong and kind, and they're unquestionably her heroes, but they mess up sometimes and they're just as human as she is. As Grandpa Julian likes to say, 'they put their trousers on one leg at a time'.

But, even with that comprehension, she can't say she's one hundred percent ready to let her childhood perception of them go completely. Her curiosity is burning a hole through her willpower, but she knows she has to temper her curiosity and impulsiveness with reason. Victor taught her that, and his admonition to think before rushing into a situation has saved her from trouble loads of times. Advice that's always proved to be so good can't suddenly have gone bad.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I shouldn't have asked."

"Come here," Victor says. He moves toward her with his arms open, and she doesn't even hesitate for a heartbeat before stepping into his waiting embrace. She wraps her own arms around him and leans her head against his chest.

Inside Victor's hug is the safest place in the world, and it's consoling enough on its own, but that doesn't prevent him from offering her words of reassurance anyway. "It's all right, sweet Caroline. It's okay that you asked. I don't want you to feel bad for wanting to know. It's just... I also don't want you to jump into something you're not ready for."

"I know," she says. "I'll think about it, I promise."

"Good," he says. "You should give some thought to your school project too. I think it's awesome that you want to tell your story, but the process of learning about yourself isn't always easy either."

"Do you think I shouldn't do it? I could probably come up with a new project idea. Mr. Blanchet already has my proposal, but the real deadline isn't till this Friday. I could—"

"No," Victor stops her gently, mid-sentence. "I think you should. In fact, I'm super proud of you for tackling a project like this. It takes a lot of courage."

"But you said it wouldn't be easy."

"Yes, and that's why you're brave for wanting to," he says. "You already know, just because something isn't easy, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it or that it won't be worth it. It just means you should be careful and you should be prepared."

"To... to find out stuff about myself that I might not like?" she asks cautiously

"Maybe."

"When you and Yuri were keeping your journal, did you learn things about yourself that you didn't like?"

He tightens his arms around her for a second or two, and she gets the sense that he's doing it involuntarily. "I did," he answers quietly, "And it was really hard. I was scared and angry and sad, sometimes all at once, and sometimes I felt like a total failure at... life, basically. It was a struggle to wrap my head around it and even more of a struggle to change, and I cried a lot."

"You still cry a lot, Victor."

Unexpectedly, he bursts out laughing, and this time when he squeezes her it's clearly deliberate. She feels the tension leave his body, and suddenly she relaxes too. She hadn't even been aware of how rigid she was.

Victor kisses the top of her head. "No such thing as a serious moment with you around, is there?"

"Sorry," she says, but she isn't. She hadn't intended to make him laugh, but the sound of his laughter is so much better than what she likes to call his 'grown-up voice', and she's relieved that he's not upset.

"Cheeky little mermaid," he says in fake exasperation, and she feels warm inside at hearing the childhood nickname her grandfather Kenji — her adorable old Ojī-chan — had given her. It's mostly only Yuri and Ojī-chan who call her that, so it somehow feels special when Victor uses it.

"I can be serious," she tells him. "And I really will consider everything you said."

"I know you will. You're smart and I trust you to make good choices," he says. "If you're ever unsure about anything, though, you can talk to me or Yuri about it."

"Thanks," she says.

After one more affectionate squeeze, he lowers his arms and steps back. They slip into a companionable silence after that, finishing up their dinner preparations before Yuri arrives home from his office.

Caroline has no clue what might be going on in Victor's mind, but hers is tangled with the threads of their conversation. Part of her is anxious over the possibility of uncovering some not-so-pleasant truth about herself, but another part is eager to reveal the pieces of her past that are still a mystery to her. It's exciting and terrifying at the same time, and she has the feeling that no matter what might happen. this project is going to mark a defining point in her life. Once she begins, she'll never be able to un-know all the things she'll discover, and she'll never be able to go back to being an innocent, ignorant child again.

But, it's okay, she tells herself. It's like Victor says; growing up is a journey. And if I don't step forward, how will I ever get there?

[aitadjcrazytimes]

Hi, I saw your tags:

I was wondering. Um. Would you be comfortable sharing what other symptoms you have?

I've had memory problems for years but every time I look them up I just get stuff like alzheimers and car crashes and stuff, which doesnt apply. Idk

I was wondering if this might be me also. I'll talk to a doctor, of course, but. Just wondering what the general vibe is

Sure! Though, be aware, if you Can get evaluated for your symptoms you probably should, at least to make sure it isn't degenerative.

Via-a-vis the ABI (That's Acquired Brain Injury), part of the reason it took so long to diagnose is because

I already have a different diagnosis of cEDS (Classical Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) that explained several of my other symptoms

I have GAD and PTSD due to living in a very abusive and dangerous environment up until about 5 months ago, and

At least two of my family members are autistic, so it was just kind of vaguely assumed that any weirdness regarding my sensory processing and so on was because of that.

So! To summarize (and I put this below a cut because it gets Long).

Chiari Malformation is when you have a defect in the base of your skull that puts pressure on your cerebellum, causing part of it to go into your spinal column. Many people with this condition don't experience any symptoms, but that is not always the case, and even with no symptoms, it does place you at a much higher risk for a brain injury. With a Chiari Malformation, even a mild concussion can cause serious damage.

I have had several concussions, with one of them knocking me out for several minutes when I was very young. So. Here we are.

Regarding treatments for Chiari, most of what can be done is simply treating the symptoms. Unless there is concern about the condition getting worse (more memory loss, paralysis, etc.), patients will likely be referred elsewhere to discuss pain management, because from my understanding, the only effective treatment for Chiari is a decompression surgery, which will remove part of your skull to take pressure off the brain. It's not terribly risky as brain surgeries go, but the best brain surgery is, of course, no brain surgery.

Re my Physical symptoms:

I get headaches very frequently, and often very severely. They have been categorized as migraines in the past, because they come with severe light and sound sensitivity, and they tend to knock me out for hours. That said, they don't meet all the criteria for a migraine, including having no aura to speak of. They are often triggered by strain and jostling my head--by coughing, sneezing, vomiting, jumping, or anything that would cause motion sickness.

I have poor balance. I have found that walking with a cane helps, but physical therapy doesn't do all that much (because it's in my brain and not my muscles).

I also struggle with chronic fatigue. Getting out of bed is a real struggle most days, as is getting anything done outside of simply going to work and then coming home--although I recently went on an antidepressant, which has helped a bit.

Insomnia! I have trouble sleeping. It comes and goes, sometimes I get several days worth of restful sleep, but sometimes I get only a few hours worth of sleep over the course of a week.

Shooting and burning pain in back of skull, neck, spine, shoulders, and chest. Be careful with this one, because this can also be a result of a heart issue. That said, I've had my heart checked out, and that's all good, which is why they checked the brain in the first place.

As for my cognitive symptoms, it's a bit fuzzier, because like I said before, I have PTSD, I have the ABI, I have GAD, several of my family members are somewhere on the autism spectrum, and now my therapist is also having me evaluated for OSDD. So, your mileage may vary. But essentially:

Memory loss. Some of it is retrograde, and I have found that I'll forget significant events and people. Most of it is anterograde, or short term--so, forgetting what a conversation is about while I'm in the middle of a sentence, and either having to improvise and try to make a guess as to what I was talking about, or having to have my conversation partner walk back what we were talking about to explain what we were doing. I have to have a very detailed and elaborate task tracker at work in order to stay on top of things, or I would simply forget it all. I also have the experience of feeling like all of my memories are stories that were told to me. So, I rarely experience a memory as a thing that happened to me, complete with sights and sounds and feelings and sensations and so on, but more like a story that someone told to me once. So, a vague recollection of events and the order in which they happened. This makes it difficult to differentiate between my own memories and stories that other people have told me. It has happened a few times that I have told a story of something that happened to me, only to find out that it actually happened to the person I was talking to instead, and I just got confused.

I'm not sure what to call this one, but I get EXTREMELY easily distracted from processing audio, especially in an environment with more than one thing happening. If I am having a verbal conversation with someone in a restaurant, and someone comes and sits at the table next to us and starts talking, I become almost incapable of conversation. If I'm talking to someone and someone turns on the TV in the next room, I become almost incapable of conversation. If music is playing, I lose track of the conversation. I forget everything I was saying. I won't be able to understand what other people are saying. Spending time in loud, busy, or crowded environments is not that distressing by itself, but I will not be able to hold a conversation.

Aphasia and Verbal Processing. It is incredibly difficult for me to put words together in a way that is coherent. It is significantly easier through writing, because I can look things up and take my time with it. But in vocal conversation, I will frequently have verbal shutdowns where I cannot find a word, and all of my language processing shuts down while I try to comprehend what I was talking about. This often leads to...

Fuzziness/Blurriness. I typically call this "going fuzzy". Generally it involves a verbal shutdown to an extent, where my brain has reached capacity with processing information, and is deciding to simply wipe everything and start over. Think of it like restarting a really old computer. Sometimes it doesn't take too terribly long--a few moments. Sometimes it takes more than half an hour. It depends. This is often accompanied by...

The Buzzing™--It happens for me at the base of the skull, where the injury is. It feels like a tuning fork fused to the inside of my skull. It is completely maddening. My ears ring, and it sounds like a high pitched whining noise. I become very on edge, it's incredibly anxiety inducing, and very overwhelming. I don't know if this is a common symptom you will be able to find under brain injuries, but it's Extremely not fun! I have found that it can be lessened somewhat with massaging the area.

The Voices™: I have heard voices ever since I was a kid. (Schizophrenia has already been ruled out.) Sometimes, it Is an actual auditory hallucination. I recently had an experience where I was grocery shopping and kept flinching because it sounded like someone was shouting my name directly into my ear. Other times, I've heard people whispering or knocking on my walls. These typically occur during or following a stressful situation. HOWEVER, I also experience The Voices™ in my daily life outside of stressful situations. In these situations, it is never auditory, more just a thing that occurs in my own head. I have, in the past, had the experience of talking more or less constantly to one or several distinct people in my head. Nowadays, it feels more like experiencing multiple trains of thought or multiple sets of emotions which feel distinct from "mine". Or feeling like a background voice in my head while someone else does things for me.

Per my therapist, I have recently begun categorizing them as different people to see if that helps. And it does sometimes! And sometimes it does not. It is a process. But that's where I am with that.

There's more to it, but I don't really have the capacity to talk about it much more than I have at the moment.

If you want to see what my experience with this is like... I mean. I did write an entire fanfiction about a character with several of my symptoms recently. You likely won't have the context for what is going on re the character and the situation unless you are into Red vs. Blue, but just in case it helps to see a recounting of it, here:

The Fanfiction That Helped Me Realize I Had Brain Damage™. Have fun!