#sometimes I think I’m not really a hater at heart but if that’s true why does this feel so good | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bit-dodgy-innit · 2 years ago

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First

Summary: You fell in love first with Marc. It didn’t mean you loved him more than his other alters, but when you notice he’s hesitant to front after your daughter is born, you gently confront about it and assuage him.

Another fic set in THE SHAPE OF YOU verse

Pairing: Marc x afab!reader, background Steven x afab!reader and Jake x afab!reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Rating: M

CW/TW: Mentions of abuse, divorce and pregnancy, domesticity, sexual themes and content, angst, feels, fluff.

A/N: Sometimes you need to write the entire history of a relationship before you actually write the scene between two characters you’ve been thinking of! Tre fun!

I need everyone to know that I adore Layla and May Calamawy sooo much so that every OC I write must be intimidated and jealous of her because she is truly a goddess among us. That being said, I hardcore ship Layla and the Moon Boys in canon, wanted to make sure NO ONE thinks I’m a hater!

You met Marc first, through work of all places. Your company was doing a defense deal, and your superiors thought it prudent to hire a consultant to ensure no party was getting screwed over money or terms-wise. And it would have been, it would have been a perfectly prudent, responsible choice if your first thought upon meeting Marc Spector hadn’t been oh my God, why does the military consultant have such soulful eyes?

The attraction to him was instant. Suddenly you were berating yourself for not doing more with your hair that day, and of course you’d wore your least flattering skirt. The good news was that you were running point on this deal and would have more opportunities to dazzle the American in the coming months with your business acumen and your beauty.

Initially, you two were nothing but friendly professionals. You got along easily, which was imperative since you were liaising with the slow and infuriating bureaucracy of the Ministry of Defense. Marc made the painstaking work and negotiations your company had dispensed you two with tolerable, even enjoyable.

You did start making more of an effort in the office though. It was subtle, you didn’t want Marc to know you were trying, let alone trying for him, but your heart would sink a little every time he politely declined your team’s invite for a post-work pint when you’d gotten up extra early that morning to blow out your hair.

That all changed at a client dinner. Your bosses were attending as well as members of the Ministry of Defense, so Marc had to be there. The chance to interact with the elusive American outside of work was stupidly exciting to you. Even better, you were seated across from him at the table. You were damn good at your job, which meant you could multitask: you charmed the clients, laughing in all the right places during their boring and problematic anecdotes, and got as drunk off the sight of Marc in a suit and tie as you were on the expensive wine your boss ordered.

Up until that night, you had assumed that your interest in Marc was one-sided. Hell, you’d believed it all throughout dinner too. It wasn’t until after the meal, when everyone headed home for the evening, that Marc insisted you split a cab and the irrevocable shift took place.

“You really didn’t have to do this,” you insisted as the taxi Marc hailed pulled over, “I’ve lived in London my entire adult life, I know how to get home in one piece.”

It was true, but the real reason you were protesting had more to do with the wine you’d consumed and the ensuing proximity to Marc than your personal safety. You couldn’t trust yourself not to do something horny and stupid.

“C’mon, it’s no trouble, besides we’re not far from each other. What kind of gentlemen would I be if I let you leave unaccompanied with all the crazy shit out there nowadays?” Marc opened the car door for you.

Your heart soared and your panties flooded. Trying to play it cool, you threw out one last protest as you got into the cab, “That’s not your job Marc, that’s why we have Thor and that white knight guy.”

Marc got in behind you and muttered, “You shouldn’t trust him.”

You weren't sure if he meant the god of thunder or the other vigilante, but frankly, you didn’t care because you were in the backseat with Marc. You couldn’t remember anything else you said after that, you knew that you apparently carried on a whole conversation while the cab ferried you across the Thames, but Marc’s lips so close, the scent of his aftershave, his hand resting on the seat millimeters from yours were the only things you could focus on.

The driver pulled to a stop and recited your address, shattering the warm, heady haze of desire you’d sunken into over the course of the ride.

“That’s me!” you called over the divider.

Marc told the driver to wait, that he’d walk you to your building’s door. Your throat was as dry as sandpaper but somehow you found the saliva to say “Thanks again.”

“No problem.”

You opened your purse. “How much do I–”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Okay well, make sure you expense this then.”

“I’m really not worried about it.”

“Right. Good night, Marc.”

You’d said the words to him, but didn’t move. Those dark, expressive eyes had you pinned in place. After a beat, you decided you’d been imagining ‘a moment’ and began to retreat. That was when Marc, rather Marc’s body almost independent of him, lurched toward you, crashing your lips together.

Needless to say, it was a good kiss. The kind of kiss that makes your toes curl, that feels like you’re getting lost and coming home at the same time.

When you breathlessly broke apart, Marc had sucked any sense out of your brain, leaving nothing to stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth “That was unprofessional.”

It wasn’t a judgment. Nor a condemnation. Just an observation. A statement of fact.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“But I think how much I enjoyed it is even more unprofessional.”

“Fuck,” Marc swore lowly before kissing you again. It was just as good as the first. No flukes here. The next time you both gasped for air, he reeled. “We can’t do this.”

“I know,” you conceded.

“Not while I’m working with you.”

“Okay.” It was all you could manage while your head swam. Then it occurred to you to follow up with, “After?”

“Yeah. After.” Marc nodded. You opened your building door, he jogged back to the taxi, and that was it.

The next morning at the office, you’d concluded that “After” from Marc meant he was letting you down easy. While you felt like you’d arrived at the office altered on a cellular level after acting on your feelings for him, Marc was reserved and distant in your meetings.

You cried on the Tube on the way home and ultimately absolved him. The two of you had been drinking last night, and Marc was a hot American guy in London. He was probably drowning in pussy, why would he wait for a woman who was off-limits for another six weeks? It was your fault for nursing a schoolgirl crush on him as a grown-ass woman.

His refusal to join the crew for drinks after the deal closed felt like the nail in the coffin. Marc didn’t want to pick things up despite his contract with your company being completed. You got absolutely shitfaced that night, so much so that it wasn’t until the next morning that you saw that he’d texted you.

From Marc Spector: now where were we?

You thrashed in your bed in delight, giggled, and then promptly shuffled to the bathroom to vomit.

***

You got dinner, just the two of you this time. Marc revealed that the reason he’d been so evasive had stemmed from the fact he was attracted to you too, but Marc was building his reputation as a consultant and wanted to maintain professionalism. He didn't want to compromise you and your job integrity either. All was forgiven over dinner while you got to know each other better.

You’d never tell Nyla this, but you jumped into bed with Marc sooner than you would with anyone else. It was not a feminist, nor a particularly romantic thing to say, but you considered your fate to be sealed after the first time you and Marc slept together. The way he bounced you on his cock, then maneuvered you onto all fours and pounded you from behind while growling “Yeah baby, work that ass back on this dick” swiftly and effectively ruined you for other men.

You found that dating Mark was like an archaeological dig. The closer you got, the deeper you dug, you unearthed a new revelation about the beautiful, but complex, man who would become your husband and the father of your child.

Revelation One: Marc had been married before. That one wasn’t much of a surprise, given his age and experience in the sack. With a face that handsome, a cock that fat, and ass and thighs that thick, it only made sense that someone would’ve tried to lock Marc down. He didn’t tell you many details about his ex-wife, only that they were married for a few years and that she lived abroad. You were privately pleased that she wasn’t in the British Isles, a childish possessiveness fueling a small pit of jealousy within you.

Revelation Two: Marc had been a mercenary. This didn’t really come as a shock either, you’d witnessed first-hand Marc’s extensive knowledge of the military and the black market, both of which were indispensable as you’d hammered out the deal at work. Perhaps it didn’t bother you as much to know that your boyfriend used to kill for a living when you could see how the vocation still haunted his features when he spoke about it, how earnestly he wanted to repent for his actions. It also helped that it was a nebulous concept to you, you’d never seen him act as the cold-blooded killer he professed he’d been, so it wasn’t quite “real” to you.

Revelation Three: Marc had suffered trauma and abuse. It helped explain Marc’s path to his former dark line of work, not to mention it broke your heart to learn that his own mother had beaten him, a horrendous misdirection of her grief over the death of his younger brother. She had died recently too, which triggered a whole mix of emotions that Marc was working through.

Revelation Four: Marc had Dissociative Identity Disorder as a result of the trauma and abuse. This one took some backup to wrap your mind around, yet it did explain why Marc never went out for drinks after work – Steven, one of his alters, had been TA’ing a class at University College London that met in the evenings as part of his Ph.D during Marc’s contract. It also provided the reason for why Marc had sort of lurched into the first kiss you shared. His second alter Jake had taken control and given Marc the push he felt the other needed.

You did your best to school your features to impassivity when he told you. Marc thought you’d break up with him then and there. You didn’t, but you told him you needed a minute to make sure you could process everything properly. So you reached out to a therapist you’d seen a few years ago after a bout of depression. It took a few sessions and research on your part, yet it wasn’t long until you felt comfortable enough to meet Steven and Jake.

It was weird, meeting Marc’s alters felt like a mix of going on a blind date and meeting your significant other’s family. The apprehension you initially harbored dissipated in the first five minutes you met Steven, however. You fell for his accent, his dorkiness, and the way he looked at you like you were a treasure from one of ancient civilizations he was an expert on. It also didn’t hurt that he would eat your pussy for hours and was obsessed with your tits.

You and Steven went on a few more dates just the two of you, then took a month for you to adjust to being present when he and Marc would switch and be co-conscious before meeting Jake. Your first date with him was at a salsa club, so wildly unlike Marc or Steven, and you had to pick your jaw up from the floor when your boyfriend greeted you with a Spanish term of endearment in a flat cap and leather gloves. Jake was less inhibited than Marc, a double edged sword in that he was quicker to anger and violence, but less guarded about his emotions and affection toward you. Plus, Jake gave you a reason to dust off your high-school Spanish.

It took a few months, but eventually you four settled into a routine and ease with each other. Your relationship was unconventional for sure, but it was also the happiest you’d ever been. You’d believed that you’d gotten through the most stunning revelations from Marc, that you’d hit his metaphorical core, and everything from here on out would be relatively smoothly sailing. You were so confident that you started dropping hints to each of the boys about engagement rings.

Turned out you still had more to learn.

Revelation Five: Marc and both his alters had a stint serving Khonshu, the Egyptian god of the moon. Superheroes and gods and aliens were a part of your life, part of everyone’s after The Snap, but you never thought that the man you slept next to would’ve been so directly involved in it.

“You were white knight guy!?!” you gaped when Marc told you.

“Yeah, Khonshu’s Moon Knight,” he clarified.

As bonkers as this information was, it was similar to when Marc had told you he was divorced or that he’d been a mercenary. While of course you believed him, you had never actually seen Marc’s mysterious ex-wife or watched Marc take down a target, the information had never been made tangible.

It was easy to accept when you learned that your boyfriend was Khonshu’s avatar, because you would never see him in the suit. Apparently, the Egyptian god was kind of an asshole, and the men had renounced their ties to him just before you and Marc began dating. It was why Marc had been so adamantly against an office romance, he was desperate to build a life without violence, outside of Khonshu after years of service to the deity.

Marc had tried to push you away, even revealing some of these facets of himself in an attempt to get you to leave him, but you stayed the course. You patiently held your ground and told Marc, each and every time, that he wasn’t getting rid of you that easily. You received every revelation with a measured countenance, well, until you discovered that Marc’s ex-wife was The Scarlet Scarab. That launched you two into a row for the ages.

“How do I compete with that?!’ you shrieked at him, “I can’t compete with that.”

“I don’t want you to! I want you because you’re you, you’re not like her, you’re—”

“Boring?” you supplied.

Marc’s frown deepened. “No, stop. You’re putting words in my mouth.”

“So what am I to you? Your breather before you go back to her for superhero sex?”

“Ok, first of all I wasn’t a superhero–”

“Marc, you had a special suit, enhanced abilities and fought criminals. That’s a superhero.”

“You’re missing the point,” he argued. “Layla and I are through. She wanted to be a superhero and I’d had enough of Khonshu’s bullshit. I couldn’t do it anymore. She wanted the adventure and I wanted this, what we have. We made a good team when it was stealing artifacts and chasing madmen across the globe but we were shit at all the real stuff - well not that it wasn’t real - the relationship stuff.”

You studied Marc for a long moment. You wanted to keep your jealousy at bay, you really did. So you tried to play it off, scoffing “Ugh, you’re lucky you’re an animal in bed and that Steven’s the only one who will go to that impressionist exhibit with me later this month.”

“You’re being glib, which means you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m sad,” your face crumpled and a sob escaped your throat. You thought you and Marc had made it through the worst of it, the deepest, darkest parts of yourselves, but here you were, fighting over something that Marc had kept from you because you were envious. A nexus of both of your vices. “What are we doing here?”

Marc watched you cry, cold fear sluicing through his veins. He looked to his reflection in hopes that Steven or Jake would tap in, they were better at this stuff, but Steven denied him with a curt shake of his head.

Not a good idea, Steven relayed through the reflection of the microwave in the kitchen, You were married to Layla and well, she fell in love with you first. Don’t abandon her.

“Maybe I should,” Marc muttered.

You looked up from your hands that had been catching your tears, “What?”

“I should leave, I’m not the kind of guy who can do long-term–”

“STOP!” you wailed at him. “No! You don’t get to run away Marc, this is what a relationship is, it’s leaning into the hard times no matter how much they hurt and fucking working through it. I will not let you throw away the last two years of my life and my love for you, and Steven and Jake because of this. I’m angry about Layla so just comfort me God dammit! Or at the very least, call me out for being a jealous bitch.”

Your challenge sent a flare of anger through Marc, “Okay! You are being a jealous bitch! I’ve told you everything, everything about me and this is what you choose to get mad about?! It’s stupid, you should have run for the hills when I told you about the mercenary work, or the DID or fucking Khonshu, but you stayed.”

“Yeah so now give me a reason to,” you fired back. “Why should I believe you won’t go back to your hot, super-powered ex-wife?”

“BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE HER ANYMORE!” He roared. “I love YOU! I have been leaning into the hard shit. I've told you about my mom and my brother, I let you meet Jake and Steven because I want to be with you for the rest of my life! You were the reason I finally renounced Khonshu!!”

Marc collapsed onto one of the breakfast bar stools. You went to him, afraid he’d switch unintentionally or worse, hurt himself. To your surprise, he let you collect him in your arms.

When Marc spoke again, it was much softer, “What you call boring or ‘normal’ is what I’ve wanted ever since Randall died, but didn’t think I deserved it. I didn’t want to be an avatar or a superhero or whatever, I wanted a steady job and a family, but the dishonorable discharge, the D.I.D, the fucking birdgod prevented me from having that, made me believe I couldn’t.’

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into his hair. “I don’t want to lose you Marc, I love you so much. I guess…I got scared that I couldn’t measure up. I’m so afraid that you feel like you’re settling for me.”

“Baby, no,” Marc brought his face to yours. “I’m the one with D.I.D. and a fucked up past, you’re settling for me.”

You shook your head, dismissing the notion. “You really want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Yeah, if you’ll have me.”

Tears fell from your face again, but this time they were from happiness.

***

The engagement and wedding followed. It was a small ceremony, exactly what you two wanted, that observed the Jewish traditions important to Marc. The honeymoon passed by in a haze of sex and sweat in Greece. With three husbands eager to consummate their marriage, you joked to Steven that you could barely walk after the week you spent in Mykonos. To your horror, he took it literally and you were greeted at the airport in Athens by an attendant with a wheelchair. It was a sweet, albeit a little embarrassing, gesture.

Back home, you worked on getting your parents as comfortable with Marc, Steven, and Jake as you were. Jake started his own business since Steven’s schedule had stabilized now that he was teaching, and Marc had entered a phase of his career where he could pick and choose clients. You all had talked about kids but the concept was firmly filed into the ‘later on’ column of your marital priorities.

Nyla had other plans. Honestly, you shouldn’t have been surprised that you’d conceived on your honeymoon, there were few surfaces on the Greek island you hadn’t fucked on. But even after the missed period and morning sickness, the positive pregnancy test shocked you. You and your husband were as elated as you were terrified.

***

You all still felt as if you were white-knuckling as parents, but Nyla embracing her sleep schedule and improving on latching allowed you and your husband to exhale some.

Your daughter had woken you up extra early this morning. The weather was nice, you were graced by a rare sunny morning in London, so you and Marc decided to take Nyla on a stroll in the park. Leaving the flat with a newborn was a tall order, one that demanded all the strategy and concentration of a military operation, Marc found. You both packed up all the necessities to fit in a single diaper bag while also keeping your daughter entertained.

Your little family made it out of the house in record time. It only took 34 minutes to pack everything to go down the street for a walk in the park.

You pushed Nyla’s stroller while Marc carried the bag. The movement had lulled Nyla back to sleep. You extended the stroller’s visor to shade her, but Marc insisted on having your baby wear the sun hat you’d packed for another layer of protection from the rays bathing Dulwich park in an early summer warmth.

You figured now was the best chance you’d ever have at talking to Marc about his reticence to front around Nyla. The subject had to be broached delicately, sneakily, or else you may not get another opportunity.

His insistence on getting Nyla’s hat gave you the perfect in. “You’re great with her.”

Marc shrugged off the praise as he dug for her hat. So you persisted, “And she loves you so much.”

“Yeah, because I look like Steven,” he groused.

“Hey, that’s not true,” you stopped his search with a hand on his arm. “You have these cute conversations with her, when you lay her back on the top of your thighs. She gets so enthralled when you two ‘talk’. You’re the only one who does that with her.”

Marc poured the ensuing emotion into his search for her hat. “She’s so tiny. Why didn’t the books say anything about how goddamn little she’d be?”

“Well, she was a few weeks early,” you reminded him. “I wanted her to get over 3 and a half kilos, but Nyla didn’t want to wait any longer.”

“Just like her mom,” Marc teased.

“And also much like her mom, she doesn’t want you to avoid her, since you make her feel so loved.”

It wasn’t that falling for Marc first meant you loved him more than his alters, but it did make you slightly more attuned to him. Your life had been made so much richer when Marc allowed Steven and Jake’s presences in your life, and you knew your daughter would only benefit from Marc fully allowing his presence in hers.

Besides you’d heard about the last time Marc had tried to leave things in solely Steven and Jake’s hands, and that had resulted in Steven getting sacked for destroying a bathroom at the British Museum, the two of them getting shot and taking a round trip to the Egyptian underworld, and an evil crocodile lady trying to take over the planet.

Your husband tensed, the tendon in his jaw working before he answered, “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“You won’t,” you assured him, stopping the stroller for a moment. “Honey, I wouldn't have married you, let alone had a baby with you, if I thought any of you were capable of hurting me or our child. Believe me.”

“But what’s the point, Steven is such a natural–”

“Yeah, and he’s wonderful. But tell me if I'm wrong, he doesn't hold the memories of your childhood the same way you do. He may have seen them, but he didn't experience first-hand, right?”

Marc stayed silent, but didn’t correct you.

“He doesn’t carry the baggage quite like you do...which is nothing against either of you! And I know me and him have discovered, um…this new kink that we share, but that doesn’t mean I don't want you around. It doesn't mean you’re any less capable as a father than Steven or Jake. She needs all of her dads, Marc.”

Marc’s eyes drifted from yours to the sleeping infant in front of you.

“You each have your special little things you share with Nyla and it’s so beautiful to watch, babe,” Your eyes welled up with tears. Damn hormones, could you get through anything without crying? “I can't tell you how happy it makes me.”

“Baby,” he murmured.

You composed yourself, “All I’m saying is that you can trust yourself with her. And if you ever have a moment when you don’t trust yourself, know that I trust you with Nyla, and I'm her mother. What I say goes.”

“You’re the best mom, you know that right?” Marc questioned. It was your turn to downplay his compliment. “You take such good care of her. I know Nyla will never go through what I did because of you.”

“It’s easy,” you stopped yourself, “Well, it’s not easy, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but loving you and this little girl we made makes me happy to do it. So don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Deal,” Marc agreed.

“Good, because when my dad gets in tomorrow, he’s going to want someone to talk about sports with, and you know the other boys are shit at it,” you quipped.

Marc chuckled as he bent over the front of the stroller to put Nyla’s hat on her little head and tie the strings around her chin while she slept. He couldn’t hide the proud grin that brightened his face when he managed to secure it without waking Nyla.

“See what I mean?” you used his success to drive home his fatherly ability.

Marc returned to your side, draped an arm around you, and pressed a kiss just under your ear. “Thank you, honey.”

“I love you,” you whispered, resuming your walk.

Nyla was the combination of you and your husband, which meant she wasn’t going to let either of you get too cocky. The stroller had only made it another thousand meters before she began fussing, though this time, more hormonally-fueled tears threatened to pour from your eyes when Marc didn’t hesitate to tend to his daughter.

Read the next fic in the series: THE MAGIC TOUCH

A/N: Y’all I thought of this idea and then the dialogue confronting Marc when reader discivers his ex is ~Layla El-Faouly~ started writing itself and then four thousand more words poured out of me. Ooops.

I know I say this every time, but it’s true that everyone’s support and responses get me fired up and inspired to write!!!

Taglist: @twwcs @starfirette @toracainz

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cherrybyeok · 3 years ago

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chocolate chip cookies [sae byeok x fem. reader]

description: in which cheol wants to know what love is

warnings: nothing but fluff

word count: 1.1k+

Sae wasn’t the most affectionate person ever. She kept her emotions hidden, but she had her reasons to. According to her, showing people your true feelings gets you nothing but used.

Which is why Cheol was confused every time his sister paid attention to you.

He wondered why she was always hugging you or holding your hand when Sae didn’t like physical contact.

Or why she was always looking and staring at you.

He knew you and Sae were together- a couple. He knew that. But he didn’t exactly know what couples were, or why Sae paid so much attention to you.

But he was just a kid. And kids don’t know what’s okay and what’s not okay to say. Or what’s okay and what’s not okay to ask.

“Sae, is Y/N sick?” Cheol innocently asked, causing Sae Byeok’s eyes to almost bulge out of their sockets.

“Cheol, what?”

“Is Y/N sick? Sick people require attention and you’re always giving her attention, more attention than me,” Sae wanted to laugh.

Okay, so maybe Cheol was a bit jealous, but he loved you (except he didn’t know what love was). You always took him to the ice cream man and gave him snacks to take to school, but you were also taking all of his sister's attention.

“Come here, sit with me. Do you know what love is, Cheol?” Sae took his hand, guiding him towards the couch in the middle of the living room.

“Not really,”

“You remember the cat that we had back home?” Sae asked, waiting for him to say yes or nod his head, “So you remember how you always wanted to go home to see him? And when he ran away you couldn’t sleep?”

“Is Y/N your cat? Did I love the cat?”

“Not exactly, but yes you did love the cat. But basically, love is not really a describable thing, and you know when you feel it. For example, if Y/N were to run away like the cat, I wouldn’t be able to sleep either. But human to human love is a bit different. I pay attention to Y/N because she’s my girlfriend and I love her. And I pay attention to you because you’re my brother and I love you. And although I may not hug you as much as I hug Y/N, I still love you Cheol,” Sae explained, and as she explained you were leaving your shared bedroom and you couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.

“I love you and Y/N too, does she love us too?” He asked and your heart filled with warmth, like warm chocolate chip cookies and milk, all gooey and soft.

“She does. She cares a lot for you. That’s why she’s always looking after us, after you. Y/N is a very special person to us,”

“Y/N is the best, she always gets me snacks, and I love snacks,”

“I’m glad you love the snacks Cheol,” you said as your bare feet dragged you across the cold tiles, taking a seat between the two of them, “I love you and Sae very much,”

“Sae said she loves you too,” he explained and you smiled.

“She better. Otherwise I would cry and run away, but love is a weird thing Cheol, and just like Sae said, you’ll know what love is when you feel it right here,” you took your hand, placing it over his small chest right above his heart.

“I love you and Sae a lot, that’s why we’re a family. Now who wants cookies, I was thinking about making some,”

“I would kill for some of your cookies right now,” Sae moaned throwing her head back, “Like actually kill for one,”

“Cheol, do you want to help me bake some cookies? I’ll let you mix the chocolate chips?” You asked, hoping he would say yes. You loved spending time with Cheol, it made you feel like a mom, and truthfully you had always wanted kids.

But that was a conversation that you needed to have with Sae later on.

“Listen everyone, they’re Y/N and Cheol cookies, so they are 100 times better,” you exclaimed, as Cheol jumped on your back and Sae shook her head smiling, “Honestly Cheol, we should open a bakery,”

“You haven’t even baked anything yet,” Sae shouted as you and Cheol walked away.

“What a hater,” you joked, shaking your head, “Another thing Cheol, sometimes, love means you make sacrifices for whoever you love, like your sister did,” you and Cheol quietly conversed as you walked into the kitchen, carefully sitting him down on the island.

“Sacrifices?”

“It means that you do dangerous things, but you’ll understand this when you’re a bit older. But for now, because we’re a family and Sae loves us, she did something very risky for us, and I would do the same too,” your hands were rummaging through the cabinets trying to find everything you needed to make your cookies with Cheol, as you tried to explain to the small boy what sacrifices and lover were.

“You know that feeling you get when you bite into a cookie, and it’s warm and soft? Just how you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s like magic?” He picked up one of the measuring cups, standing up in a little step stool that made him tall enough to reach the sink and washed it. He knew it was clean, and so did you, but he always saw you rising things off before using them.

“Exactly! When you love someone your heart feels like that every time you see them. And you’ll feel butterflies in your tummy, but this isn’t for family love, it's for relationship love, like boyfriend or girlfriend love.” He looked confused so you decided to explain more while measuring your ingredients, “Every time I see Sae, I get butterflies in my tummy, and I blush because I love her. But when I see my parents or cousins, even though I love them I don’t get butterflies or blush. There’s different kinds of love,”

“I get butterflies when I see Kimmy from school, she’s really pretty,” He was blushing, and if that wasn’t the cutest thing you had ever seen, than nothing was cute.

“Aww, see you know what it is. But it might also be that you like her. Love is confusing, but you’ll figure it out, you’re smart,” you said, handing him the cup of brown sugar so he could add it into the mixing bowl.

“Have you figured it out, Y/N?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Yes but no. I still have time. But if there’s one thing I know for sure, is that you and Sae will always have my love,”

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shotorozu · 4 years ago

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i feel like im annoying lol but here i am again 🥴

🥴 how do da boys react to a super bimbo mc like shes busty, sweet, innocent, helpful as much as she can be and doesnt really realize when people are hitting on her, she just thinks theyre being extra friendly. (Tamaki, izuku, shoto, denki, bakougo) or any of ur choice

Sorry if I’m being annoying ( •᷄ὤ•᷅)？ and tysm

bimbo s/o

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, amajiki tamaki (bnha)

probably (?) part one // ?

legend : [Y/N = your name] female! s/o, quirk not specific

headcanon type : fluff, crack (x reader)

note(s) : sooo 🤩 it’s my birthday tomorrow, not excited about that?? not sure! but im definitely gonna post more tomorrow, just because

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

you didn’t seem like his type tbh. you’re kinda an airhead, and you’re sweet and helpful to everyone

and awfully innocent,,

so, you seemed like the person that bakugou would try and stay away from, but nope!

not in this case. i’m not sure what conspired in this explosive blond’s head, but he had a oddly specific attraction to you

he used to hate being around you, but it’s also quite entertaining being around you but why, you may ask?

not only are you super nice, and helpful, but you’re very likable too! which caused you to get secret admirers, and fanboys

but you also so happen to be clueless as fuck, so katsuki would always stick around— obviously very amused, only to tell you what their true intentions are

“what do they mean, go out? like,, outside?”

“no, dumbo. they wanna date you.”

“..like the calendar?”

“hah?? are you dumb?” he actually hated how oblivious you were at first, but he just got used to it

but this clueless airhead trait of yours is what he also hates, because when he developed feelings for you— he’d have to tell you

and,, he’s not the best with being direct with romantic stuff. so— you can see how that went.

he ended up confessing you in the most direct way he could’ve said it, but you still. didn’t. understand.

“fuck sake, i want to be your significant other. your fucking lover, the bitch that’ll be with you until this dumbass brain of yours stops working.”

okay, he was a little too direct, but at least you know his feelings!

when you both finally get together, everyone is shocked. like,, you, the sweetheart that likes helping people— dating thee bakugou katsuki??

everyone thought you were threatened to date him, because you didn’t understand other people’s advances— but in reality, katsuki just told you what he felt

straight from the heart.

also, since you’re also quite busty, katsuki loves sleeping on them— he literally won’t sleep, until he has his head resting on those milkers of yours

“maybe this is all you’re good for, huh? a fuckin’ head rest. there might not be anything up there, but at least it gives me some good fuckin’ sleep.”

he,, doesn’t mean that. you’re useful in so many other ways, but he loves pretending that he thinks that way, because of your replies

“ah, yes! i’m fine with being your head rest, katsuki. rest well, love!”

you’re not hurt, because he makes it a point to tell you multiple times a day that you mean lots to him.

but he gets super mad when people tell you that you’re stupid. because he can only tell you that!!

todoroki shouto

you also didn’t seem like you’d be his type,, everyone thought he would’ve wanted someone that’s smart as momo, or something similar

but he’s very content with being with you, for reasons he can’t seem to figure out.

he has his habit of watching you help people from afar, and he couldn’t help but smile whenever he engages in conversations with you

yeah sure, you might be more of an airhead than most people— but you have a heart of gold! and that’s what gathered his attention

sometimes, he’s quite clueless to some social cues— but even he can connect the dots

which you can’t seem to do. but you’re in luck! shouto’s usually the one that tells you what they mean

it’s something he loves and hates, only because of how popular you are with people in general.

sometimes, shouto debates if he should even tell you what they mean— because well,, he likes you.

usually, shouto would interpret things to you like this

“,, they like you,, romantically.”

“shou, are you sure? they look like they wanna be my friend!” he lets you call him by his first name, just because of how content you look by calling him ‘shouto’

he ends up whispering something into your ear, and your eyes light up in realization. “oh! so how princess bubblegum likes marceline?”

“,, yeah.”

but being shouto todoroki has it’s advantages. he isn’t afraid of being as direct as he could possibly be.

“may i have the honor of being your lifelong partner?”

“..?”

“oh, romantically. i’d love to be your lover, Y/N.”

“..oh! that’s what you meant.”

the way he sees you stumble with your words, as you pace back in forth— completely flustered by his words

makes him smile

and it all ends well when his friends see that his wallpaper is literally him laying down on your chest

which is something he always wanted to do

“shouto,, did you finally confess?!”

“yes. they said yes.”

they’re not really surprised that you understood, courtesy to shouto’s bluntness.

he is your protector against all of the people that make you seem useless. man literally lashed out when his father asked him to date someone with ‘more intelligence’

“Y/N may not be the definition of being book smart, but Y/N’s not useless!”

in short— he’s the bimbo protector! he’ll always be patient around you, and he would never dare to dumb you down.

amajiki tamaki

oh lOrd, please help him

you’re so kind, sweet, and helpful. you’d help anyone— regardless of their personality. and that’s what made tamaki interested in you

but you’re also very popular. which he could see why— since you’re attractive in a unique and special way.

tamaki absolutely disliked the idea of your kindness being taken advantaged of. i mean,, the guts of some people!

but he also hated being the one to break the news to you good or bad

he’s not good with the blunt stuff either, and he might’ve been worried about being around you— because well,, you look like you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

“tamaki, what do they mean by ‘coming home with them for a nice time’ do they.. want to play mario cart with me?”

he looks like he needs to pass out, but he ends up telling you anyway. he’s just lucky that you could hear him.

but he sighs in relief when you end up kindly declining

nejire and mirio are SO amused by this pairing. i mean, it’s an interesting dynamic! how could they not be invested?

yet, they refuse to even explain things to you, especially when tamaki’s around to do said explaining

because apparently, ‘it’ll help you socialize more, especially with Y/N!’

but remember when i said that tamaki wasn’t great with the blunt approach? yeah— he’d have a heart attack, just trying to explain his feelings

“i— uhm how do i say this,, would you like t-to go out for some dinner with m-me?”

“oh sure! i should go tell mirio and nejire” you’d say that with a smile, and it felt like he was going to pass away on the spot.

nejire and mirio were the ones the tell you that ‘no, tamaki doesn’t want to be friendly with you, because he wants to romantically date you.’

and it felt like forever when they were explaining how and why, while tamaki was sitting in the corner.

but thank GOD! because you like him too!

super hesitant on resting on your chest, i mean,, to him, it looked like the nicest pillow for the deepest sleep! but he wasn’t sure if that’d be okay

because no!! to!! taking!! advantage!! of!! Y/N’s!! kindness!!

speaking of that, despite the fact that he’s socially awkward— he will not hesitate on defending you from any haters!

like, when people say that “tamaki and Y/N are such an awkward couple. tamaki’s super awkward, it looks like there’s nothing in Y/N’s brain. maybe she’s brainless”

because how dare they. not everyone is book smart— but that doesn’t give people the right to call you stupid!

“Y/N’s not brainless! she’s kind, helpful, and the sweetest p-person i have ever met. i suggest you take that back!”

in short— it gives him heart palpitations just having to explain things to you, but at the end of the day, it’s all worth it, if he can be with you

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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malleux · 4 years ago

Text

spell [2]. | corpse husband

part one ; part three

-> Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

-> Warnings: Hate Comments, Self Doubt, Anxiety, Cursing

-> A/N: thank you for 1k notes on part one! i’m so glad everyone likes my work. it’s really nice getting this much love after taking a hiatus on my fire emblem writing blog. i hope y’all enjoy it and stay on the lookout for part three!

corpse husband taglist is closed!

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you joined Sean’s Among Us stream.

While that was your first public appearance, you had joined three others after that and already you were blowing up on almost every social media platform you had. The attention was kind of nice, you had to admit, but sometimes the anxiety of becoming a public figure weighed heavily on your shoulders.

During that time, you turned to your friends who were used to such scrutiny: Sean, Felix, and now Corpse, who you’ve been talking to every day for those two weeks.

It was another one of those nights where, at 1am, you were on Facetime with said man. His screen was dark, as usual. He hadn’t shown his face yet and you respected that. You didn’t need to see him to talk to him, or be his friend, or develop a slight crush on him. All of which you did.

The call was relatively silent on your end. Corpse was on Facetime with you, yes, but he was also on a call in Discord, once again playing Among Us.

You often wondered if playing that game was all your new friends did anymore.

You stayed quiet, letting Corpse play the game and avoiding his fans finding out about your call. You had college work to finish anyways, so the silence was rather helpful.

“We should ask Y/N if she wants to play. I wanna meet her.” Sykkuno’s voice rang out from the Discord call. He was right- you’d never met him. He and Corpse seemed extremely close, though, so you’d love to talk to him. A friend of your crush friend was a friend of yours.

“She’s busy tonight.” Corpse responded.

“Yeah, she’s got an exam coming up- wait, how do you know?” Sean joined in, questioning Corpse.

“Uh, I mean we’re on Facetime right now, I guess.” Your heart sped up- now his fans knew. “She’s studying. We’re just hanging out.”

“Didn’t you guys ‘hang out’ last night as well? It seems like you’re trying to take my best friend away from me.” Sean joked back.

“I mean, I definitely am.”

Your breath caught in your throat. What was that supposed to mean? Sean was obviously kidding, but the tone in Corpse’s voice wasn’t the one he used when he was joking as well.

Felix suddenly butted in. “Ooooh, I think Corpse-y has a little crush.”

“And if I do?”

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

꧁꧂

Three weeks, now, that you’ve been talking to Corpse daily.

One week since Corpse’s crush comment and one week that you’ve endured countless mentions and tags on Instagram and Twitter, constantly talking about #CorpseY/N.

You didn’t really mind the shipping, often losing yourself in daydreams about driving those two hours down from your apartment in Los Angeles down to San Diego and running into his arms. It didn’t help when he mentioned wanting you to come visit one day.

You just worried about how Corpse felt about them. He was still relatively new to blowing up on the internet as well, his fame suddenly skyrocketing in the past few months, so you weren’t sure if he was comfortable with them. You didn’t want to bring it up, either, fearing that the discussion would make things awkward between the two of you.

For now, you were rather content with just scrolling through the #CorpseY/N hashtag, looking at the pictures and nice things people had to say about you both.

“they’re so cute when they talk to each other, you can just tell Corpse meant it when he said he was trying to steal Y/N away.”

“#CorpseY/N is my new favorite thing. Everyone shut up this is all I’ll be talking about from now on.”

“God why can’t they just be together already? #CorpseY/N”

Everyone was so supportive and sweet, it almost made you feel like you already were Corpse’s girlfriend. Although your heart hurt when you were brought back to reality, you couldn’t help but love the comments that everyone left. They were amazing.

Until they weren’t.

There are always two sides of the same coin. Along from the supporters and their loving actions, there were also those who seethed at the idea of you and Corpse.

They scrutinized everything about you to the point that you made your Instagram account- already with 30k followers- private.

Haters talked about you. Your body, your personality, how you weren’t worthy to even talk to Corpse and the rest of the Youtubers, and so much more. You’ve spent many nights with your Facetime mic muted so that Corpse couldn’t hear the small sobs coming from you.

These thoughts were almost always on the back of your mind, but you were sometimes able to push them away.

Like now- as you focused on your exam. Well, tried to focus. There comes to be a time where one can only hear so many negative things about themselves before they can’t ignore it anymore.

But alas, you tried your hardest and finished your exam, before walking out of the room and pulling out your phone. Now, you had a break before your new classes started and you’ve never been more relieved. You pulled up a certain contact and clicked on the message icon, beginning to type.

you:

i’m finished! up next, a break.

corpse:

I hope you did well. How long is your break?

you:

two weeks!

corpse:

Come spend it in San Diego

You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by the offer. You really didn’t think that he’d invite you over, but you weren’t about to complain. Instead, you sent back an ‘I’ll pack tonight :)’ and rushed home to do just that.

Corpse called you as you packed, just like he calls every night. You were used to the routine now, often falling asleep around 3am as he stays on the phone, doing whatever he does with his ruined sleep schedule until you wake up and say good morning.

Tonight, however, you were too jittery to sleep. You stayed up all night with Corpse, talking about anything and everything, like usual.

What wasn’t usual, though, was how distracted he sounded. It made you nervous- was he having second thoughts about inviting you over? Was something wrong?

Your thoughts nearly overwhelmed you, forcing you to say something.

“Are you okay, Corpse?” You tried to hide the small shake in your voice.

“Hm? Uh, yeah, yeah, everything’s good. Why?”

“It doesn’t sound like it. What’s going on? You’re acting off.”

His side of the phone was silent for a moment, before he let out a sigh. “I’m just thinking about what I’ve got to do before you get here tomorrow. Like, cleaning and stuff.”

“Pshh, that doesn’t matter to me.” You waved your hand, even though he couldn’t see it in the darkness of your room.

“It’s just that, my apartment isn’t… the best. It’s small and there’s only one bedroom and it’s kind of shitty. I just don’t want it to be even more shitty.”

“Corpse, I’m coming there to spend time with you, not your apartment. I don’t care what any of that shit looks like. I’m going to be looking at you and hanging out with you. Not your apartment.” You didn’t mean to go on a tangent of reassurance, but you truly meant all of your words. “Hell, I might not even see the apartment because I already know I won’t be able to look away from you.”

“I- God, give me a minute. That took me off guard.” He laughed. “But thank you. I may not even be able to clean because I’ll be distracted too.”

“By what?”

“You, standing in front of me, in person.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s a fucking dream come true.”

┎┈┈┈┈┈┈��┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒

taglist: @namjoons-crabssss @lookingforaplacetosleep @teenloves @princess00wifi @pillowjj @nvm-idgaf @creativedogs @wildflowerwhore @chillininahottub-withaghost @whyisquill @holosexualunicorn7000 @ourheavenlyemotions

┖┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┚

#fanfiction #x reader #fic blog #writing #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband #series #lay writes #youtubers #youtubers x reader

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stormblessed95 · 3 years ago

Note

Hi,Storm! Sorry to bother, but I really have something that’s been on my mind about jikook for some time. You know, I’be been an army for more then two years, and a jikooker as well. I’m not an adult( almost 15) but I like to think of myself as someone who has an open mind. Now, since I know Jikook for a long time, I have come across multiple people, videos, opinions, proof or not etc.etc. The thing is, sometimes I get in kind of head space we’re I’m thinking “And if they are not real? Then what?” (Please don’t misinterpret this. I don’t stan BTS because of Jikook or will stop doing so if they are a real couple.) And the thing is, when I think about this, and maybe this will sound selfish, I get sad... i don’t know why, but they became such a normal, day to day, ‘real’ thing to me, that imagining them not being together somehow breaks my heart. And then I think, “Stop being so selfish, it’s not that deep” and I constantly scold myself for felling sad. The thing that I actually wanted to ask you is, when you see certain moments(like when they were younger, in an interview, they were asked who would they introduce their little sister if they had one too, and jungkook said jimin, cause he think he will act good with his girlfriend) that maybe make you question their ‘reality’, or if you actually have certain moments that make you feel that way. Also, I will like your thoughts on how do you cope with the thought that they might not be true.. I’m sorry if I sound delulu or mean..but I really feel sad when I think about them not being together, and then I feel bad because of that feeling. Again, I would never become a hater just because my ship doesn’t come out real, but I want to know your opinion! Hope you see this and thank you!😊

Hello! I've been seeing you pop up in my notifications all the time working your way through my masterlist. So glad to see you in my inbox now 💜

1. You don't sound delulu or mean. You sound sincere in your worries and your question. Thank you for that 😊

2. No, I haven't really had any moments that made me go "this definitely makes me think they aren't a couple." For your example, JK for one, doesn't actually have a sister. Lol but regardless, they were asked a very heteronormitive question in a very conservative country. Was he supposed to say "not Jimin because he is gay," because I don't think that would have gone over well. Lol and he was basically just saying that Jimin would be a really good boyfriend, would treat his future girl (or partner) right and be good to them. And not to mention, JK himself was a minor during that time period and I don't think they were anything more than friends at that time either anyway.

3. It's fair to be sad if it turns out they are not a couple. Your feelings are your own and are valid. What it comes down to is WHY you feel the way that you do. Something to consider. Perhaps we are too invested and need to take some steps back? Perhaps we need to just remind ourselves of boundaries needed as a fan, that we aren't their friends. That we only see such a small part of their lives. It's important to remember that we love them for who they are, and if they are happy, no matter who it's with, that's all that should really matter. Also if they aren't boyfriends, I won't lie, I would be.... very confused. Lol but not my life, not my business is what it basically comes down to. And if they are just friends, well that wouldn't change how much I love them as people and how much I love their bond together. It wouldn't make their moments fake or no longer valid and there. Their friendship and the love they clearly have for each other would still be something to be admired and enjoyed. 🥰

4. *hides at the reminder of minors on my blog* I promise I keep it in mind but it's always a shock when one of you reminds me of it 😅 thank you for being here and for your question! I wish I could do or say more to help, but hopefully this answered you at least a little bit! Hope you have a wonderful day! 💜

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sketching-shark · 3 years ago

Note

I think we should start a protection squad (although they don’t need it because they can protect themselves) for Sun Wukong and Guanyin

“Begone monkie kid fandom trying to down grade these really interesting characters with interesting personality’s and backstory ( the both of them like seriously Guanyin backstory is so cool) to a villain wile trying to justify your angsty backstory (that are no where near as cool as monkey who fights gods and Person who has 1000 arms and heads to help people in need) for the actual villain”

So who wants to join

Me:*raises my hand*

Ps: sorry if I got Guanyin backstory wrong am not an expert on it.

Haha okay so some critiques on the jttw & associated media western fandom & fandom in general coming up, so please skip this upcoming text wall if you don't want to encounter my undoubtedly ~devastating~ words (i.e. don't like don't read as people love to say, & if I have to be inundated with images of my notp every time I go into the sun wukong tag then I imagine people can be chill with me expressing my opinions & giving people fair warning that I WILL be critiquing common fandom trends, but no need for you to see that if you don’t want to. Cool? Cool.)

-----

PFFFFFTTT oh man there are many times when I feel like signing up for such a protection squad...when it comes to the current western jttw & Sun Wukong fandom I do feel like I'm often swinging at a rapid pace between "well it's fandom & people are allowed to make the stories they want" & "I am once again begging my fellow monkie kid enthusiasts (& sometimes creators) to do more research into the og classic/show it more respect so you can avoid any potentially offensive/off-the-mark misunderstandings of the status & cultural context of the characters in their country of origin (I promise it's super interesting & I can provide you with links to free pdf copies of the entire Yu translation, i.e. the best one ever created, so feel free to ask!) & maybe also stop constantly stripping away all the nuance of Sun Wukong's character for the sake of either making him an entire asshole so your little meow meow can look completely innocent in comparison and/or making the monkey king's entire life & character revolve around said meow meow."

Like I get that fandom's supposed to be a kind of anything-goes environment, but one thing that honestly seems to be true of a lot of fandoms--and the western one for Sun Wukong & co. is certainly not immune from this--is that there often seems to be a kind of monoculturalization at work in what stories are created & what character interpretations are made popular. Across a multitude of fandoms, you frequently see basically nothing but the exact same tropes being made popular & even being insisted on for the canonical work (especially hasty redemption arcs & enemies to lovers these days), the exact same one-dimensional character types that characters from an original work keep getting shoved into, the exact same story beats, etc. And I get it to an extent, as fandom is generally a space where people just make art and fic for fun & without thinking too hard about it & without any pressure.

This seems to, however, often unfortunately lead to the mentality that it’s your god-given right to do literally whatever you want with literally any cultural figure without even the slightest bit of thought put into their cultural, historical, and even religious context, even (and sometimes especially) when it comes to figures that are really important in a culture outside your own. For such figures--even if you first encounter them in a children’s cartoon--you should be a little more careful with what you do with them than you would with your usual Saturday morning line-up. It of course has to be acknowledged that there exists a whole pile of absolutely ridiculous & cursed pieces of media that are based on Journey to the West & that were produced in mainland China, but for your own education if nothing else I consider it good practice for those of us (myself certainly included) who aren’t part of the culture that produced JTTW to put more thought into how we might want to portray these characters so that at the very least (to pull some things I’ve seen from the jttw western fandom) we’re not turning a goddess of mercy into an evil figure for the sake of Angst(TM), or relegating other important literary figures into the positions of offensive stereotypes, or making broad claims about the source text & original characterizations of various figures that are blatantly untrue, or mocking heavenly deities because of what’s actually your misunderstanding of how immortality works according to Daoist beliefs. Yet while a lot of this is often due to people not even trying to understand the context these figures are coming from, I do want to acknowledge that the journey (lol reference) to understand even a fraction of the original cultural context can be a daunting one, especially since, as I’ve mentioned before, it can be really hard & even next to impossible to find good, accessible, & legitimate explanations in English of how, for example, the relationship between Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China & according to the Buddhist beliefs that define the original work.

That is to say, I do think it’s an unfortunate, if unavoidable, part of any introduction of an original text into a culture foreign to its own for there to be sometimes a significant amount of misinterpretation, mistranslations, and false assumptions. There is, however, a big difference between learning from your honest mistakes, & doubling down on them while dismissing all criticism of your misinterpretation into that abstract category of “fandom drama.” The latter attitude is kind of shitty at best and horrifically entitled at worst.

Plus, as I’ve discovered, there is a great deal of interest and joy to be drawn from keeping yourself open to learning aspects of these texts & figures that you weren’t aware of! I can say from my own experience that I’ve always really enjoyed & appreciated it when individuals on this site who come from a Chinese background--and who know much more about the cultural context of JTTW than me--have taken the time to explain its various aspects. It often leaves me feeling like woooooaaaahhhhhHHH!!!! as to how amazingly full of nuanced meaning JTTW is like dang no wonder it’s one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels.

And I guess that right there is the heart of a lot of my own personal frustration and disappointment with the ways that fandoms often approach a literary work or other piece of media...like don’t get me wrong, a lot of the original works a fandom may grow around are just straight-up goofy & everyone’s aware of it & has fun with it, yet the trend of approaching what are often nuanced and multi-layered works in terms of how well they fit and/or can be shoved into pretty cliche ideas of Redemption Arc or Enemies to Lovers or Hero Actually Bad, Villain Actually Good etc...well, it just seems to cheapen and even erase even the possibility of understanding the wonderful complexity or even endearing simplicity that made these works so beloved in the first place. Again, I feel like I need to make it clear that I’m not saying fandom should be a space where people are constantly trying to one-up each other with their hot takes in literary analysis, but it would be nice and even beneficial to allow room for commentary that strives to approach these works in a multi-faceted way, analysis & interpretations that go against the popular fandom beliefs, & criticism of the work or even of fandom trends (yes it is in fact possible to legitimately love something but still be critical of its aspects) instead of immediately attacking people who try to engage in such as just being haters who don’t want anyone to have fun ever (X_X).

----

Anyway, I know I didn’t cover even half of the stuff you brought up in the first place anon, but I don’t want any interested parties to this post to suffer too long through my text wall lol. I was asked to try my hand at illustrating Guanyin, but as with you I’m nowhere near as informed as I should be about her, so I want to do more research on her history and religious importance before I attempt a portrait. I’ll try my best, and do plan to pair that illustration with my own outsider’s attempt to summarize her character. From what little I do know I am in full agreement that her backstory is so incredibly amazing...just the fact that she literally eschewed the bliss of Nirvana to help all beings reach it, and even split herself into pieces in the attempt to do so (with Buddha granting her eleven heads and a thousand arms as a result)...man, I can see why she’s such a beloved & respected deity.

----

As for what western fandom commonly does with everyone’s favorite god-fighting primate...I can talk about this at length if there’s interest, but for this post I’ll just say that I guess one lesson from all of this is that for all the centuries that have passed since Journey to the West was first completed, literally no one drawing inspiration from the original tale in the west (lol) has come even slightly close to being able to equal or even capture half the extent of the nuance, complexity, religious, historical, and cultural aspects, and humor that define Wu Cheng'en's story of an overpowered monkey who defied even Buddha.

So thank the heavens we'll always have the original.

#journey to the west #jttw #guanyin #sun wukong #monkey king #monkie kid #fandom #fandom critical

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rainbowsky · 4 years ago

Note

What’s making you stay in this fandom? After all the stupid shit that’s been said and done by Antis, Toxic Solos, even Toxic Shippers. I’m going to bet that people have said things to you too. The sheer stupidity, toxic mindset, unreasonableness of people... there’s staying because u want to keep supporting them, there’s staying because not everyone is like what I’ve mentioned, but really, everything here is like a double edge sword, u can’t enjoy something w/o something raining down. Why stay?

Aww, Anon, here’s a hug for you because it seems you could use one. 💖

I thought of different ways I could answer this question, and in the end decided the best way is to simply offer you my

Fandom Survival Guide

I’m going to talk about a couple of things here - first I’ll talk about my own experience of the fandom and answer your question, and then I’ll talk about fandom self-care. I’ll label each section so people who are interested in one or the other of these topics can ignore the other if they wish.

My experience of the fandom - to answer your question

It’s true there is a lot about the fandom that can be stressful. You mentioned a few stressful elements, but there are others. Any time you bring together a diverse, broad group of people into close proximity with one another there is bound to be friction at times, disagreements, different approaches that sometimes clash. That’s just part of the social world.

Sticking my neck out to talk about things in a pretty open way isn’t something that comes as naturally to me as it might seem. I’m actually a pretty introverted person, and because I’m neurodivergent (autism) I approach social situations in a different way than a lot of people. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or crossed wires. I grew up as an outsider who is often misunderstood, and it makes me extremely wary of social interaction.

When I started this blog I knew going into it that I would get some nasty comments from people, that there would be people who would misunderstand or misinterpret me, that there might even be haters. Even without the things that have made me a target (being queer, being neurodivergent, coming from a very difficult background), I really think that in this world anyone who puts themselves out there in any way is going to be attacked by someone. Often a lot of someones.

I have had some bad experiences in the fandom, and some heartbreaking ones. I get hate mail fairly regularly - mostly homophobic, but some from people who either hate my opinions or misunderstand them. One or two people have decided I’m a terrible person and have chosen to harass me and to try to enlist others to hate me. I think this goes with the territory in a lot of ways, but it’s no less painful despite being somewhat anticipated.

I also find that I’m often exposed to attitudes and ideas that offend me - especially on Twitter and YouTube. Homophobia, for example, or racism or cruelty and in-fighting. Troll farm hate that is being slung everywhere. Witnessing this type of thing on a day-to-day basis can be very stressful and psychologically taxing.

And this is quite apart from the fact that I have really serious, dark shit happening IRL.

I don’t say all of this to play a tiny violin for how hard done by I am, and set myself apart from others in some way. Quite the contrary. I say this to make it clear that I am no different than anyone else here. I think most people these days are dealing with major life struggles, most people are dealing with grief and loss and pain, health issues, major life issues, psychological burdens, whatever. It’s part of being alive in this world at this point in history.

And I think - I have no scientific evidence of this but it’s an impression I’ve gotten through experiencing the fandom - that a lot of people who are drawn to this fandom are people like me. Soft-hearted people, people who are struggling in some way, people who have a need for some form of comfort and/or escape. People for whom sweetness and love are an antidote to pain in their lives, or a way to feel ‘at home’ because they have a lot of love in their hearts.

So when I feel stressed out or upset about what’s happening here, I generally tend to believe that I’m not alone in feeling that way. That there are likely others bearing that burden. Often when we feel most fragmented from others, that’s when we are actually closest to them in terms of what we are experiencing. We just don’t tend to pick up on that in the heat of our emotions. We get used to thinking we are alone or that we are set apart from - or even against - others, when usually we have everything in common with them in that moment.

Which brings me to the list of reasons why I stay.

I believe we all have more in common than we realize. No matter how much I struggle, I know others are struggling too. That realization keeps me grounded even when everything feels miserable.

I want to be a voice for perspectives that I think are often marginalized or even demonized, and to also open my mind to perspectives that challenge my assumptions and biases.

I learn so much from participating here, and find new interests, new creative outlets and new ways of looking at things.

It feels good to share thoughts and feelings in the fandom. I would be thinking about all of this anyway, and it’s nice to be able to compare notes and discuss things with others who are similarly transfixed. If nothing else, that keeps my IRL people from losing their minds since they don’t share my interest in the fandom.

Sticking my neck out helps me exercise my ability to put myself out there more socially. It helps me to build confidence and learn more about what works for me and what doesn’t. It’s almost like a form of rehabilitation at times, because I do tend to keep to myself a lot otherwise.

I want to meet people who share my interests.

The vast majority of the experiences I have had in the fandom have been positive ones. Yeah, there have been some really bad ones as well, but the good outnumber the bad fairly heavily.

Bad experiences are an opportunity to learn something about myself and/or about others.

There are people here who help sustain me, whether they know it or not. Through their kindness to others, their enthusiasm, their creativity, their intelligence, their curiosity, their personality... Just through reading their posts, these people help me get through even the hardest of days. There are also people here who are supportive behind the scenes, and/or through anon asks.

Which brings me to (saving the biggest reason for last): this fandom is full of amazing people. For every jerk I’ve encountered here, I’ve met at least a dozen nice people.

Self-care

No matter where we go online (or offline, for that matter) we’re going to encounter people, ideas and situations that stress us out, offend us or even hurt us. I’m no expert, but here are some of the things that I do to try to stay sane no matter where I go or what I’m exposed to.

Practice healthy boundaries and develop habits that protect your identity and safety IRL. This is the single most important thing anyone can do when entering online social spaces. It’s not just about ensuring we’re not murdered in our sleep by some lunatic, it’s also about keeping our online lives separate from our real lives so that we are able to truly walk away when we need to. When I walk away from the computer, I know that whatever is happening on there isn’t going to follow me into my daily life. That ability to keep things separate gives me the space and emotional distance I need when things start to feel like too much.

Try to be mindful and self-aware. Online information and interactions can often feel ‘other-worldly’ and immersive, but they are very real experiences that we’re having. As we go about our online lives it’s important to pay attention to how our bodies and minds respond to what we encounter because this will often give us early signs that something we’re exposing ourselves to isn’t good for us. That can give us extra time to address the situation, before it gets out of hand. The best way to instigate that awareness is to simply become conscious of our breathing. Often when we get stressed out we will hold our breath without even realizing it.

Remember the human. Sometimes it can help a lot to simply remind ourselves that the other people around us are people too, with their own dreams and aspirations, loves and losses, fears and frustrations. People are often hurting as much as we are, they are often as invested as we are in whatever we are wrapped up in. Often the only antidote we need to a bad situation is a bit of kindness and compassion, and a willingness to read other people’s words charitably rather than assume the worst about them.

Curate your online experience; let go of FOMO. It can be really tempting to follow everyone and everything that looks interesting, but I try to take special care to ensure that the people I’m interacting with, the topics I’m following, the posts I’m reading - all of it tends to inspire and boost me as opposed to bringing me down or even harming me. I’ve learned to view ‘fear of missing out’ as a boundary crasher, and let go of it. For the most part the things I engage with online are consciously chosen by me, and are carefully considered ahead of time for any potential problems.

If you decide to venture into dark spaces, go prepared and bring a supportive friend (or else leave the venturing to trusted people who are better able to cope, and let them report back from the front lines). Sometimes there are toxic online situations or stories that might hold some interest or value for us regardless of the risks involved. There might be a cause or topic that is really close to our hearts that we want to participate in despite the risk of what we might experience. In those cases I go in consciously knowing I am taking a risk, and I try to make sure I have a plan ahead of time for how I will cope with any adversity, and for how/when I will extract myself if things get out of hand. Where appropriate I try to also bring someone along who I trust to maintain a protective mindset even when my own self-preservation starts to falter.

Be aware of your triggers. This is a huge one that might take a bit longer to figure out, but it’s incredibly useful. Most of us likely have things that, when encountered, tend to be extra painful, extra rage-inducing, or extra scary for us. For example, if we were traumatized by bullying when we were younger we might be extra sensitive to situations that feel like bullying, or someone who was ridiculed a lot might react strongly to the perception that they are being ridiculed. The more aware we are of these things, the better able we will be to prepare for and cope with such situations, and the less likely we will be to project those feelings onto others. A good clue that something might be a trigger is when our reaction to something seems disproportionate to what is actually happening. For example, if someone laughs at something we say and we react with a massive emotional or verbal outburst that could be a sign that there are a lot of buried emotions inside of us around ridicule.

Transform bad situations. One of the biggest ways I cope with adversity in my life is to try to find a way to turn it into something good. Even the most horrible situation can be redeemed in some way. If we are experiencing conflict, trying to bridge that gap and connect with the other person on a human level can be very meaningful. If we are experiencing backlash, trying to learn about where we went wrong - and repair it - can be very rewarding. If we are becoming overwhelmed, turning toward self-love can feel enormously comforting.

If you aren’t finding good people to connect with, keep looking. I can’t emphasize this enough. There are amazing people in this world, and they are absolutely everywhere. There will be plenty of times when we feel ‘surrounded by sharks’. That doesn’t mean there are only sharks in this world. It just means all the dolphins probably swam away when they saw the sharks. Go find your people, because they are out there somewhere.

Allow others their own preferences and approaches. It can sometimes be frustrating to see people saying and doing things that go against the grain of how we would do things, but it’s important to remember that everyone has their own values, interests, boundaries and needs. Rather than getting upset about what others are doing, it’s really helpful to let go and just let people practice their fandom in the way they enjoy. We don’t know what itch in their life that approach might be scratching.

Take breaks. I know this is a rather mundane, obvious bit of advice, but since it’s one I often overlook myself I think it’s worth a mention.

Take care of your physical needs as well as emotional. If we are struggling emotionally then it’s a good time to do a quick inventory of our physical situation. Often there are physical needs that haven’t been met, but which might greatly impact our emotional experience. Things to check for: Have we eaten? Had enough sleep? Taken our medication? Gotten some fresh air and exercise today? Drank enough water? Had any physical touch from others lately - even just a hug? Have we taken care of any sexual urges or needs we may have? Done any stretching? What about breathing and air quality - are we giving ourselves enough oxygen? You get the idea.

Cultivate your offline life as well. This gives us something to return to when we’re done online.

Remember that self-love is an action. I often struggle with concepts that are too abstract, and ‘self-love’ is one of them. For years I had been told by that self-love is incredibly important, but I’ve always had a hard time getting my head around what exactly that means. Then one day someone explained it to me like this: “Self-love is something we arrive at through self-care. One leads to the other.” That made a huge difference in my life. Instead of waiting for the day when I might love myself, or wondering how on earth to begin to love myself, I began consciously making a point of doing kind things for myself. It transformed my life.

Ask for help regularly - not just when you are in crisis. Even if we are shy or socially awkward and have to do so anonymously, it’s important to reach out for help from others. I’m actually really crap at this. I am self-reliant to a fault. But I make a conscious effort to ask for help from time to time, even with little things, when I feel that someone might have something useful to contribute to my situation. Not only does it feel good to make connections and get help from others (and people are generally very kind and helpful), it also serves as a regular and much-needed reminder to me that there are kind people in the world, and I’m not alone. As important: it reminds people that they matter and that they have something to contribute. It creates a culture of sharing and helping.

Remember that what others say, do and think can only ever be a reflection of themselves. It can never be a reflection of you. It hurts to be misunderstood. It hurts when people get a story in their heads about who we are and then jump at any opportunity to flesh out that mean-spirited caricature with misconceptions and uncharitable interpretations about us. But it’s important to remember that someone who has highly detailed ideas about our psychology, our motives, our attitudes and how we operate - but has no actual insight into who we are - is speaking from their own experiences and feelings that have nothing to do with us. They are speaking about themselves, not us.

Consider the source. This goes hand-in-hand with the previous point. When we see or hear something that upsets us, it’s important to consider the source of that statement. Does this person have any special insight or expertise that lends credibility to their statement, or are they just stating a (potentially very inaccurate) opinion? What are they motivated by, and how does that inform their perspective? A lot of hateful statements are motivated by bigotry, for example. Always ask yourself whether a source is actually valid.

Blocking and ignoring are not a capitulation. Someone might be saying the most egregiously wrong, hostile or negative things, and we might feel tempted to engage and ‘set them straight’, but often the best course of action is to block and ignore (and report, where appropriate). This isn’t a capitulation - it isn’t ‘backing down’. Quite the contrary, it’s often the single most powerful action we can take against hate - to simply not give it a platform or a voice in our lives. Of course there will be times when we want to speak out against something, but those should be carefully and consciously chosen (see points 4 and 5).

Try to keep things in perspective. It’s easy to get hyperfocused on a situation or a community and feel like it’s critically important in that moment. At times like that it can be really helpful to take a step back and consider their significance in the grand scheme of things. Often the conflicts or irritants we are getting twisted up about right now will be entirely forgotten by this time next week.

Focus on what brings joy. This is so important and yet frequently forgotten. It’s why we are here in the first place. A key to enjoying fandom is to focus on the content that brought us to the fandom, and cast away the rest. We don’t need to be wrapped up in anti messages, critiques and negative discourse to be a good fan. There’s nothing requiring us to know about and follow all the garbage that happens in order to be considered worthy as a fan. There are people who will try to tell us otherwise, but they are wrong. Just enjoy being a fan. Focus on enjoying the content, supporting our idols, and interacting with other fans.

I’ve purposely made this somewhat generic so that it’s relatable regardless of fandom. Please feel free to share this post if you think it might help someone.

If all else fails, think about what our idols would want. Remember that they would not want you to be harmed, and would not want you to fight their battles online. They would not want you to become overwhelmed by or over-invested in fan activities. They would not want you to focus on loving them at the expense of loving others or of loving yourself. They would not want you to lose sight of your own goals and dreams in favor of championing theirs.

#fandom reflections #ask #love not war

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jisungsplatforms · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Lee Felix x gn! reader

Genre: fluff, small angst (in the beginning); non idol au, reincarnation au, kinda strangers to lovers (but not really? you’ll see)

Warnings: character deaths in the beginning (Salem witch style oops)

Tears streamed down their faces as they smiled lovingly to one another. The male leaned his forehead onto his lover’s own, holding each other as close as they can be. It was unfathomable, really, how lucky they were to find each other in this convoluted world. The amount of love they had for each other was suffocating; it was a love that was too good to last...

“Burn the devils!”

“Repent for your sins, you vile wenches!”

“May you suffer in the hands of your lord, filthy worshippers!”

The cries of the townspeople could not be heard over the sound of their synchronized heartbeats and declining breaths.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Flames of red and orange engulfed the couple’s forms. The man was terrified, not for himself but for his significant other. He silently prayed to the Lord to set them free; to guide them to the gates of paradise, where they can finally live peacefully together at last. “May we meet again in another life, my beloved,” his lover proposed with one final breath, letting the fiery madness swallow them whole. Only the wind could carry the last words of this bittersweet love story.

- 🕧 -

Felix jolted in cold sweat, the speed of which he sat up nearly gave him whiplash. He looked around to find he was just in the comfort of his bedroom. “Again?” he groaned as he hunched over, rubbing his face. Ever since he turned 18, he’s been having the same damned dream almost every night, leaving him with a heavy heart the next morning. It was driving him mad! All he wanted was for it to stop; though deep down, he also didn’t want to. He knew his conscience was trying to tell him something, rather, it was as if he needed to find someone. He flipped his phone over to read the time. ‘8:56am’ He sighed, getting up for the day.

“Do you believe in second chances?”

Everybody turned to Jisung in question, who was giving the 3 boys the purest look they have ever seen. “Like, if they did something bad?” Seungmin replied, “Yeah, I guess but it really depends on how grave the situation is.”

“No! No! Like, second lives and stuff like that!”

“Reincarnation?”

“Yeah! That’s the word,” Jisung smiled. Felix looked at him in interest, feeling antsy for some odd reason.

“Why?” Seungmin asked. “Is this from another one of those stories you read in that silly book?”

“Hey! Minho gave me that book! Respect it!”

Seungmin sighed as the other two boys laughed. “Hey, we should just be happy that he can even read, Seungmin,” Hyunjin laughed, earning a punch from Jisung.

“Come on, it’s not silly! I think it’s really cool,” Jisung pouted, everyone ignoring Hyunjin’s cries of help. “Hyunjin, You read it and thought it was cool too!”

Hyunjin stopped and scoffed, “Yeah, but it sounds a little...unrealistic? I think it is a cool concept but it can just never be true.”

“Agreed,” Seungmin chimed in. “Sounds too far fetched. You die? You die. That’s the end of it. No such thing as ‘second lives’.”

“Boohoo, you guys are such downers. Hope you guys stay dead when you die then,” Jisung jokes. “What about you, Lix? You never said anything.” The boys turned to the uncharacteristically quiet boy.

Felix hummed. “I think…” he draws out, “that it could happen? To me, it doesn’t sound that impossible”

“See! Felix is with me!” the chubby cheeked boy cheered. “He has a vision unlike you haters.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes sassily. “Okay, then what did the book say? Does it explain why reincarnation is a thing?”

“Yup! It said that reincarnation often happens when someone dies a tragic death or lived a miserable life. They are granted a second chance of one to make amends for their hardships, so that they can finally live the happy lives they deserve! And sometimes, people will still have memories from their past life.”

“Fake,” Hyunjin faux coughed. Jisung turns to him with a glare.

“Shut up. Don’t act as if you didn’t cry when you read the story.”

“Hey!” The two boys argued while Seungmin went on his phone to ignore the commotion. Meanwhile, Felix was lost in thought. So it is true...I was reincarnated. Those dreams really were memories of my past self! This is a sign!

“Hm,” Seungmin said to no one particularly, “I wonder when will anyone bring up that fact that Minho gave Jisung a literal children’s book?”

- 🕘 -

The boys left Hyunjin’s house after 5 hours. It was already the afternoon, and they were starving, seeing how they spent the whole time playing video games. Instead of ordering food, Seungmin suggested they go out to physically buy the food, much to Jisung and Hyunjin’s chagrin. Jisung and Hyunjin went to buy pizza, Seungmin was in charge with buying them food that’ll actually fill their stomachs, and Felix went to buy the drinks and desserts. Hyunjin went on about “eating like kings!” or something like that.

Felix was lining up in the ice cream shop, already carrying the bag of sodas for them. He was waiting for his turn when he heard a sweet voice from the line beside him; a voice that he has vaguely heard before. “Hello! Can I have-”

He turned his head to find the most breathtaking person he has ever seen. Felix felt his heart racing. It was as if his world stopped. Is that-? What’s happening? Is this it? he gulped. “Hello sir? Sir!”

He immediately snapped out of it, remembering he’s still in line. He looks back at the line to find that he’s next. “I am so sorry!” he bowed, quickly moving to the counter to place his order. Felix hastily spoke with the employee in hopes of speaking to the mystery beauty. He turned around to see his self-proclaimed soulmate already walking out the door. He cursed, ready to run out the door, when he heard his name being called. Felix hissed, snatching the bag of ice cream from the employee, with a quick ‘thank you’.

He sprinted out of the shop and into the direction he saw them leave. Either he ran that fast, or his soulmate was slow, he was able to catch up to them. “W-Wait!” he called out, breathlessly. His heart wanted to burst when he saw their form up close; when he saw you up close.

“Yes? May I help you?” you responded with a gentle smile. Felix had this strange urge to kiss your lips, fighting hard against it since you two are still technically strangers in this life.

“U-uhm,” he cleared his throat, “I’m sorry but- I think I’ve seen you in my dreams.”

Your eyes widened, caught off guard. Felix only now realized his blunder. “Crap- I’m sorry that was-”

He was cut off by the sound of your laughter, causing his face to burn even more. “Isn’t that a little cliché?” you giggled. Felix bit his lower lip in humiliation, looking down to the cement under his shoes. He wanted to run away. The situation was too embarrassing for him to handle. He felt your soft hands bring his face up.

“Hey hey, no need to be embarrassed. Don’t worry about it,” you smiled, “my beloved.”

Felix was stunned. Holy sh- I was right! It is you! he cheered mentally. He smiled as wide as he could, dropping his bags and bringing you into his arms. The two of you laughed in relief, happy that the two of you were together at last. You buried your face into his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you, Felix.”

“I’ve missed you too, Y/n,” he sighed, kissing the top of your head.

You looked up with tears in your eyes. You whispered, “I told you we shall meet again in our next life...my beloved.”

🕛 End 🕛

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memxntomxri · 3 years ago

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ｌｏｎｅｌｙｔｏｇｅｔｈｅｒ

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ʜᴏᴍᴇ

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - kuroo tetsurou x kozume kenma

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 - fluff, comfort

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤 - kenma has a breakdown over haters on the internet. kuroo comforts him.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 - 1.4k

𝘵𝘸 - online people being assholes, panic attacks, referenced stalker-ish behaviors

𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 - fluff to make up for day 1's fic. thank you for discord server friends (LouEve_094, Lena) who listened to me screech while writing this.

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

Kuroo’s assistant, Takahashi, tentatively stuck his head into the conference room, where Kuroo was currently listening to a pitch about doing a joint press venture with the baseball league. It was interesting, but not enough that he didn’t notice his assistant’s frantic finger-pointing and beckoning.

Kuroo murmured a quiet “Sorry” and excused himself from the table, stepping out to converse with Takahashi. Takahashi wouldn’t bother Kuroo unless it wasn’t urgent.

“Sorry, sir, but I’m so glad Suzuki-san informed me about the situation, I—” he began. Kuroo held up a hand. Takahashi was trustworthy and brilliant with a spreadsheet program, but he could also run on for hours if one didn’t force him to cut to the chase.

“Takahashi, what exactly happened?” Kuroo said. Takahashi shot him a confused look, then his eyes widened almost comically.

“Kuroo-san, did you not see your ring?” he asked. In their world, because of some god’s whim or something, everyone was born with a ring tattoo on their right ring finger. It acted like some sort of mood ring… for your soulmate. Blue meant sadness, red meant anger, green meant disgust or jealousy, yellow happiness, gold pride, so on, so forth. When you met them, the ring would flare a bright, distinctive color. Kuroo had been fortunate enough to witness his flare as a measly 8-year-old, and Kenma had been stuck with him ever since.

Kuroo automatically glanced down at his right hand. Shit, he cursed. It was black all the way through—that was not good. That meant that something had set off Kenma’s panic attacks—a bad one, because Kuroo couldn’t see the swirls of grey that meant that his fiancée wasn’t completely lost yet—and Kuroo felt horrible for not noticing.

Takahashi gulped. Kuroo had momentarily forgotten that his assistant existed. “There’s more, Kuroo-san.” he said warily, as if approaching a wild animal.

“What?” Kuroo snapped, then shook his head quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Takahashi smiled gently, a reassuring one meant to placate Kuroo’s wild emotions. “It’s okay, Kuroo-san. Um… are you sure you want to know what’s going on with Kozume-san?” he grimaced. It must be bad for Takahashi, of all people, to be making negative facial expressions. “Just tell me.” Kuroo barked. He winced. “Sorry, didn’t mean that either.”

Takahashi replied, “It’s alright. Anyways, it seems that when Kozume-san beat out that beauty youtuber, Alice007, for the first Japanese Youtuber to get 10 million subscribers today, she went on a tangent on Twitter and caused a lot of her fans to start attacking Kozume-san. They… also mentioned you.”

Kuroo’s head whipped up. “What?”

“Apparently, Alice-san’s sister went to Nekoma High too and believed that she was your soulmate. If the tweets are any indication, both of them are a little, forgive me for saying this in a professional setting, delusional.” he said apologetically. Kuroo wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. On one hand, the love of his life was being torn down online. On the other hand, Takahashi was finally saying something negative about a human being.

Kuroo tipped his head back.

“Well, I’m heading home. Sorry for flaking out on the meeting, but can you please tell them a brief summary of what’s going on? Don’t go into too much detail though, Kenma values his privacy.” he requested. Takahashi nodded. God, Kuroo was lucky to have his assistant. “Thanks, Takahashi, you’re a lifesaver. Why don’t you take Friday night out and take Mizuki-san,” Takahashi’s 158cm tall spitfire soulmate who always seemed to have an infinite supply of dirty jokes, “out on a date?”

Takahashi allowed a small smile to break his professional face. “That would be very nice, Kuroo-san. Thank you. Now go, Kozume-san needs you.” he said, shooing Kuroo down the hall towards the elevators.

For someone who acted so demure while working, Takahashi sure could be forceful when he wanted to.

｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ू ₒ ु ₓ｡

Kuroo nudged the door to his and Kenma’s two-bedroom (one was Kenma’s streaming room) open. His arms were laden with bags from the nearby grocery store, filled with Kenma’s favorite comfort foods, a few new video games, and a box of prescription meds for his anxiety that Kenma had slowly moved on from.

“Kenma?” he called down the hallway. No response, except for sounds of muffled sobbing coming from their bedroom. Kuroo kicked off his shoes and set the bags down, heading down the hall to investigate.

He cracked open the door a few centimeters, and there Kenma was, curled up in a ball on the king-sized mattress, phone an arm’s length away, screen cracked. Kuroo tracked his eyes to the correspondingly-sized dent in the wall. He walked in, sitting down next to Kenma’s prone form, but not touching him.

“Hey, kitten.” he greeted quietly. Kenma reached for his sleeve, rubbing his hand twice, up, down, on Kuroo’s wrist. Ah. That was the signal for when he had gone nonverbal but wanted Kuroo to give him physical and verbal affection.

Kuroo scooped Kenma up into his arms, tucking him into his lap as he rested his chin on top of Kenma’s head. “I’m sorry people are being assholes, Kenma. I hope you don’t believe them, because they sure as hell aren’t true.” Small hiccups as more tears ran down Kenma’s face.

That was alright. Sometimes, Kenma just needed someone to hold him and tell him that he was alright.

“I bought that game you wanted. Overcooked? Yeah, that was its name. We can try it out when you feel up to it. Maybe invite Akaashi and Bokuto over. Chibi-chan and Kageyama too, if they’re in Tokyo.” Kuroo continued.

“You know, all these people love you, Kenma. It doesn’t matter what people online think, especially when they’re just following a deranged leader.” Kuroo reassured him.

Kenma looked up at him questioningly. Kuroo sighed. “Yeah, I heard. I have no idea who Alice-san’s sister is,” he said in response to Kenma’s silent question, “besides, I trust our parents and our own memories more than some beauty guru who can’t take being beaten.” he scoffed.

Kenma took a few deep breaths, a sign that he was slowly calming down. Kuroo rubbed comforting circles down his back. “T-Tetsu.” he murmured. “Am I a bad soulmate because I’m not that affectionate?”

Kuroo jolted, then cupped his hands gently around Kenma’s face, leaning down to press a light kiss to his lips. “No, Kenma, never. I know you love me, and you know I wouldn’t have you any other way. You’re my kitten, remember?” he reminded. Kenma nodded slowly. Good. Kuroo breathed a slight sigh of relief in his mind. It had been months since he had needed to do this.

Kenma continued, speaking even quieter. “Will everyone leave me? Am I going to be lonely in the end?” he asked. Kuroo’s heart ached. He knew that that had always been one of Kenma’s insecurities—that his aloofness would drive people away from him. “Kenma, if you’re alone, then I’ll be alone with you.” Kuroo said resolutely.

Kenma broke down into a few sobs, hopefully getting it out of his system. “T-Tetsu, they found our address.” Kuroo froze. “What?” Kenma nodded. “Yeah. S-someone sent me a red paint-stained picture of me with a knife stabbed through my f-forehead.” he struggled to get out.

“Shh, shh, Kenma, I’m here now. Don’t force yourself if you don’t want to talk.” Kuroo reassured.

Shit. They had both known that this could become a probability when Kenma had started getting famous, and they had been lucky for a few years, but someone finding out at this moment was just bad luck.

Kuroo wrapped his arms tighter around Kenma’s smaller frame. “Don’t worry, kitten, I’ll protect you. Always and forever, remember?” he said with a cheeky smile, pointing at the band (the metal one) around Kenma’s left ring finger.

Kenma’s quiet, melodic chuckle filled the air.

Kuroo chanced a glance down at his right ring finger. It was still dark and murky, but there were traces of pink and a pale color that he hoped was yellow. It wasn’t back to usual, but they were getting there.

｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ू ₒ ु ₓ｡

A few hours later…

Curled up on the couch, Kenma fiddled away at his PSP. Kuroo plopped down next to him, holding two steaming cups of chamomile tea. “Tetsu, I placed an order for a new phone.” Kenma said, not looking up from the phone.

“Oh also, you’re still going to have to pay half the rent for our new apartment. I’m not going to be your sugar daddy, no matter how much you beg.” Kenma deadpanned.

Kuroo snorted. Nothing ever really changed with his Kenma.

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu!!#kuroken #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x kenma #fluff #haikyuu fluff #comfort #kurokenweek #kurokenweek2021

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angelsodreamy-no2 · 4 years ago

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My Thoughts on Apple White :

since i was pretty young, i've always been obsessed and feel pity towards characters who are misunderstood or is usually everyone's least favourite. not the ones that are completely annoying or evil for no reason tho, which is why i've always been an apple white stan from the beginning. i understand the way she thinks and dislike raven because i was quite biased. as an apple stan, i see raven as just annoying, but on the other hand, a lot of people find apple as cruel and selfish when that is not the case.

in order to know about her more, we need to obviously learn more about her childhood. there isn't really a book about her background so the only information about her childhood that i can find is just based on predictions from The Dragon Games Special. from there we learn that apple has been groomed to be this picture perfect princess ever since she was incredibly young and has basically been thought (/brain washed) that she is the main character that will get her happy ending just like her mother, and that she must ensure that it will remain the same. born spoiled and controlled by her power hungry + strict mom, we find out that apple has only been able to succeed this much as a princess because of nepotism, royals status, and her destiny, all the way from her popularity (which is controlled by her mom as well), admirers, and even friends.

unlike raven who was born as an outcast meaning that she is woke about the whole unjustice system + wants to change her destiny, apple was born into a perfect life that everybody wants. including raven who in a way is jealous ofc which is why she encourages a large number of students who are outcasts as well to become rebels. it honestly makes perfect sense to me on why apple begged raven to stop it and to just follow her destiny, because hers is already perfect. raven envies apple's destiny and thinks its unfair that she has to be the villain while apple gets a lovely ending, which is true and makes totally perfect sense. so obviously it makes sense that apple wants to keep hers as well. they're both just two sides of the same coin wanting the exact same happily ever after, the difference is just that apple's will be handed over to her and all she needs to do at the moment is to just wait and prepare for it while raven is stuck playing the villain role.

a lot of people mention that they're reason of dislike towards apple is because she is selfish and privilleged, which is half true. yes she is born privilleged, but even tho she got it all through nepotism, she still needed to work hard in order to maintain the position that she was already given. unlike characters like ashlyn ella or briar beauty, apple takes full advantage of her popularity and works hard to maintain it. people will especially judge you a lot and will find mistakes in order to take you down because of it, so its important that apple herself to work hard in order to keep her position. i'm sorry but do you really think that being kind, sweet, and friendly 24/7 is easy? like even if she has a bad day she'll still have to put on a smile or people will judge her. other than that she's constantly pressured and is under observation by not only her mom, but her people and by other students as well. there's one thing in getting things easily, but keeping it is a whole different thing. i truely admire apple for always being able to put up a smile for everyone even when she's feeling sad and i honestly relate to her a lot. unlike raven, she can't just explode or get angry at someone. more than that, she can't really tell others how she truely feels since it's probably against her mother's teaching or smth. you can clearly tell that apple doesn't really like the way she got her position and is actually woke about the nepotism she receives because sometimes she feels like she doesn't deserve it, as i've mentioned before, apple's success (or at least the beginning of it) is all because of nepotism. the reason she is the most respected princess is because of her mom's legacy. which is why she tries so hard to be the best at everything, to prove to the people and her mom that she deserves to be in the position that she is rn and will do anything in order to keep it.

what's also sad is that while she's expected to be this perfect future ruler, people only expect certain things from her at the same time. like she's only expected to be this porcelain doll, to please men, be a good and fair ruler for her subjects, to be a role model for young girls, and to smile next to her prince (who she actually barely knows). thats it. people only praise her for her beauty and charm. the world of EAH is surprisingly set to be a not so misogynistic world. despite that, the few people who suffer from it (based from my observations) are cerise, darling, lizzie, and apple. if you pay attention, despite the many other accomplishments apple has, no one really praises her for her grades, work in other fields that doesn't involve charity, and her brilliance. she's usually only praised for her beauty and i feel like she gets sick of it at times as well. the only reason daring even stuck with her is because she's his supposed destiny and beauty, vice versa.

other than that, i also feel like apple's depressed and has anxiety at times but is just really good at hiding it since she was probably told to do so from a young age and i pity her for it. i feel so bad for her, and when raven didn't want to follow her destiny, imagine how she felt. her heart probably shattered because of it since it means that everything she has been given, dreamed, and worked hard for will all go to waste. which was why she tried so hard to get raven back to follow her destiny.

im happy that in the end she doesn't really push her too much tho since she sees raven as a true friend. it must honestly suck for her that raven is the only one who sees her as a regular person (even tho she sometimes raven explodes as well and thinks that apple doesn't have feelings of empathy). when apple said something like "no you're the one who's being selfish raven", i feel like its true. apple honestly doesn't only think of herself, but for others as well. in her story alone, everyone else will get their happy ending except for raven. it works like this in many other stories as well. it's said that if raven doesn't follow her destiny as the evil queen then everyone else in snow white's story (who are all set to receive a happy ending) will all 'cease to exist'. if she does that, many people who aren't happy about their ending will do the same as well, leaving a large percantage of people 'ceasing to exist' as well or at least won't get their happy ending. in my opinion, apple is just looking at the larger scale, and from a neutral side, apple's reason makes the most sense towards me. raven was selfish, but then she has her reasons so whatevs. my point of making this post is to stop apple white haters and for them to look at the bigger picture, or at least from my pov as an apple stan. that is all thank you <3

#justice for apple white #apple white #ever after high #eah apple #idk what else to tag #raven queen

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shimmershae · 3 years ago

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Just watched the episode and I’m going to have a lot of thoughts for you, most of them probably bordering on incoherence (LOL) so this is your last chance to nope on out of this post because I’m going to go ahead and put everything else behind a cut to save the eyes that do not want to see any spoilers at all. Unlike mine, that very much wanted to see but in a lot of cases? Could not see shit, but I digress.

Shae’s stream of consciousness coming at you in 3-2-1.

First of all, can I saw how good it is to have my show back again? Like, no. I don’t quite have Season 5 levels of excitement about the new/last season, but it is definitely nice to have all these characters back.

So all these thoughts of mine. Okay. Bear with me because there be a whole lot of them, lol.

My immediate impression as the episode opened was WHOA. Such a cool shot of Daryl with one light wing, one dark wing (representing the two sides to Daryl maybe--the man of honor versus the man he was raised to be, hmm?) looking out over some dark vista of something. Seriously. It’s dark. My room is also dark at the moment and still I was squinting to see. To make out what I’m “looking” at. I really, really hope the rest of this season isn’t this hard to make out.

Is that a tank? Kinda sorta a callback to Rick’s first episode? If so, cool. If not, well. Us fans have always put way more thought into things. For real. Change my mind.

Holy intense eye contact, Batman! Daryl Dixon has literally never looked at anyone--not BethusConLeah--in quite the same smoldering way as he looks at Carol. It’s next level. I don’t know why people be fooling themselves into thinking different.

Let’s see. I can make out--besides Daryl, Maggie, and that face mask dude I already forgot the name of--Kelly, Magna, Jerry (who’s that with him?), and Carol. Sorry. My world, like Daryl’s, inevitably narrows to Carol. She’s loking fierce and fine AF per usual.

Was that Rosita I noticed rewinding to relive Daryl eye-fucking Carol?

I’m guessing this is the army base they talked about in 10C.

That Walker perking up like “I smell food--pancakes and bacon and oohhhh” has me giggling inappropriately right off the bat. WTF.

Look at all my fabulous ladies tiptoeing through that Walker minefield. And Carol spotting that gun that might be useful right away. Listen, if you don’t think her mind ain’t always ten steps ahead of everybody else’s, you’d be wrong.

So. Are these Walkers just so old and feeble not even the call of fresh meat attracts them? Because just tiptoeing through their midst without the knockoff Lady Gaga meatsuits or skin masks has never really worked before that I can remember.

I just want to see most of this season. Is that really too much to ask? Don’t X-Files and Game of Thrones us, Angela. Please and thank you very fucking much.

Okay. Is the one drop of blood thing making anybody else have 28 Days Later vibes? Kinda? Sorta? No? Just me? Okay then. Carry on.

Wait a minute, though. How they be explaining how Daryl keeeps acquiring all these new tats all the time? Hmm? It’s like they just quit giving a shit about continuity in these latter seasons.

I mean. Do Walkers sleep now? LMAO. What is this? I guess they’re constantly evolving?

There’s my baby Lydia. Love my smol bean.

Alright though. I love to see the ladies of TWD kick some ass. It’s very gratifying. Gimps would never. Thank you, Angela.

Clever, resourceful, calm and collected, quick thinking Carol to the rescue! Seriously. Her haters must be withering away inside with absolute envy.

Hey, ya’ll. Remember when Carol was still mastering her sharpshooting skills at the Prison yard and shot at Rick’s feet? Her little “sorry, sorry”? LOL. If Rick could only see her now. Wait. He already knew what so many of his stans refuse to acknowledge--Carol=ultimate survivor and true savior to the group many times over.

Maggie’s got herself a gun, too. Go my badass girls.

Of course, Carol’s got everybody’s back. Of fucking course, Daryl’s got hers even when everybody else seem frozen in some kind of awe or stupification or something. Microcosm of the whole damn show right there.

Carol’s like “here’s your knives, love of my life.”

Eh. Maybe that’s just me.

Nah. She’s totally thinking it, too.

YAS! YAS! Norman Reedus and Melissa McBride with the top billing. How very far my babies have come.

Listen. I miss all the characters we’ve lost. Absolutely. But I love the ones that are still with us, that have been with us for so very long so hard. Whether I love their stories or decisions or not.

Is that THE Alexandria sign? That sign’s been through some shit.

DOG! Daryl kneeling to embrace our Grimes babies has me all up in my feels. And how cute is Dog getting all excited and making sure he’s the first one there to welcome back, Daddy?

Hershel is literally just as puppy dog cute as Glenn ever was. Really some Grade A casting.

What did Maggie call Mr. T? Ducky? Dougie? Sometimes with Maggie? I really cannot tell. Anyway. He’s Mr. T. for me until I find out differently, probably through rewatching with close captioning, lol.

Maggie’s got more people. So. Some new redshirts to sacrifice for plot purposes. I don’t know if I should bother learning their names or not.

I seem to remember Meridian being mentioned in one of the episode synopses.

Sophia’s hair tie around Carol’s neck will never fail to be an emotional throat punch. My heart.

“They come at night and by the time you see them, you’re already dead.” Welp. Guess that means we ain’t seeing shit for at least this first third of the season, lol. Very horror-eque though.

“You’re leaving to fight ghosts.” Aaron, to Maggie. So I see Aaron’s the type to get the hell outta Dodge when the Boogeyman comes calling, hahaha. Least he was. In the old world.

Rosita’s pissed off expression at Gabe’s decision to volunteer for the so-called suicide mission gives me life.

My baby Carol is tired AF of suicide missions. You can tell. Also? Methinks she has something to prove to Daryl here. Or at least feels like she does.

Dog with his little tactical vest. I love it.

I guess I get why they had Carol and Rosita stay behind. They had to more evenly split up the badassery to make things more fair and balanced, lol.

Okay. So Negan’s definitely earned everybody’s disdain. But they’re being woefully short-sighted by not at least hearing the dude out. Isn’t he at least native to the area?

“That is God telling us to turn around.” I’m actually on Negan’s side with this one, but Gabe answering him with “I’m pretty sure he would have run that past me first” has me howling with laughter. Father Gabe has gone straight up savage in these last couple of seasons. Rosita’s influence, perhaps?

I see what Angela is doing. Trying to make Negan the voice of reason. In this particular case? It’s kind of working. I’m still ultimately on Maggie’s side with this though BECAUSE GLENN.

Imagine showing up to work and unironically dressing like a storm trooper every day. Excuse me while I LOL.

Even in the ZA, there’s bullshit paperwork.

“Pumpkin colored spacesuit.” Good one, Ezekiel.

LOL forever. I love Princess.

“Michonne. Our Michonne shut people out of Alexandria for years.” Timely reminder that choices aren’t always perfect. Neither are people.

WTF is reprocessing? Sounds ominous. LMAO at Eugene’s “Okay. We gotta go.”

What in the actual hell with all those bagged, squirming undead? Creepy AF in that subway tunnel.

Should I just go ahead and call that the Easter bunny? We’ve had some version of it pop up since Season 1.

Is it stubborn pride with Maggie or what? Why go through with something when all signs point toward the wisdom of stopping? You can argue that she’s acting similarly to Carol last season, but there’s a huge difference here folks. Carol did her damndest to Lone Wolf that shit and minimize the danger to those she loved. Maggie’s straight up enlisting those she “cares about” to carry out her mission of revenge or vengeance, what have you. Let’s see if she gets near the amount of hate for it. Personally, I don’t blame her for her feelings one bit. They are valid. But her knowingly drawing the others into the game? That’s my sticking point. That’s how she and Carol differ, even if some people refuse to see or accept it. Anyway. Hopping right on off my soapbox.

“Why don’t you get up on your little tippy toes and try?” Omigosh, I’d dying. When I tell you I about passed out with laughter, I do not exaggerate. I should hate Negan forever and I do. Really. But I adore JDM and he frequently makes me LOL. He’s made Negan entertaining if not completely redeemable since Angela took over and more layered so I say kudos.

He has a point about Maggie playing dictator. Damn you, show, for slanting the writing just that smidgen that makes Negan make sense over his victim. I guess, though, it’s better this way. Gives both characters more shades of gray.

“He’s a dick but he makes sense.” I feel like this is Angela calling us all out when we dare to harbor any lasting resentment toward Negan for what he did to Glenn.

Speaking of--Negan. You deserved Daryl’s punch to the mouth. You just went a bridge too damn far.

“Keep pushing me, Negan. Please.” Warning shots fired, Asshole. You better watch yourself around the Widow Rhee.

Have I mentioned how much I love Princess? Her shipping the Commonwealth guards is killing me, lol. I can’t wait ‘til she meets Carol and Daryl. She’s going to have their number in two seconds flat.

I like Ezekiel and Princess as a duo. I’m not saying romantically necessarily. I just like them in scenes together because they’re fun. There’s sort of a protective indulgence Ezekiel seems to telegraph whenever they’re in scenes together. Like he’s like don’t hurt this one. I don’t know. For all these words I’ve written, I can’t quite find the ones to adequately describe what I mean.

The wall of the lost gives me such Battlestar Galactica feels. What sad thoughts it inspires.

Eugene in that Commonwealth gear. Omigosh, lol. So did they just sneak up and take Princess’s little Commonwealth ship’s gear when they were sneaking off on their own to have a quickie?

Princess finding that note for Yumiko on the wall actually gave me chills. Yeah. I’m easy. Just the suggestion of someone getting reunited with lost family gets me all up in my feels. Yumiko saying “I have to stay”? I felt that.

Oh no. Dog ran off! Somebody protect my favorite fictional puppy. Of course, Daryl goes after him. He’s always been the sweet one. Merle said it.

Eh. Negan taking Maggie’s hand at the end there would have smacked too much of Negan Sue and Maggie’s biggest plot of the season would have been prematurely dealt with so I get why they did what they did. But c’mon. It’s not really that big of a cliffhanger, is it?

Okay, so Angela calls those sleeping beauty Walkers “Lurkers” and I get it. Apparently they’re a bigger deal in the comics, but I really don’t remember seeing them all that much on the actual show. Somebody jog my memory.

Of fucking course, you can actually see what’s happening in the inside the episode clips. I wish we could choose to view the episode with that lighting because some of us be blind. And this time I mean in the more literal sense. Not the figurative one.

Anyway. I’m going to stop trying to write a novel for ya’ll and move on to better things. Like maybe a nap. Maybe some early dinner. I don’t know. I’m tired AF and need a little recharge.

Before I go, though? Overall impression of the episode? I liked it. There were parts that I loved (all the ladies being badass, every second of Carol, Daryl reuniting with the Grimes babies and Dog, all things Princess, some of Negan’s one-liners about had me busting a gut, Rosita serving looks, Kelly and Lydia getting to be badass too) and parts I didn’t love (not being able to see a damn thing, Angela trying to tip the scales in Negan’s favor, not enough Carol or Aaron or Rosita, no reunion between Aunt Carol and the Grimes babies even though that picture floating around suggests it was at least shot, not being able to see a damn thing, all the Alexandria people playing follow the leader for Maggie when she’s been gone 6 years and Daryl’s right there--hell, even Father G deserves the honor over her because it’s obvious they’re not exactly on the same wavelength anymore).

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m just glad to have our show back.

Later, lovelies.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #spoilers #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #and giggle and giggle

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