#sometimes I just need for people to tell me what I already know

[greenmild-avocadoguacamole]

Waiting for somebody to tell me the same things frfr

"You were never broken Viktor, there is beauty in imperfections. They made you who you are."😔😔😔

[quarterlifekitty]

Weaknesses part 3: stop everything

Gaz is so easy to stop in his tracks. You really just have to pout a little bit and tilt your head down. It’s all “C’mon, love… you know I can’t stand it when you look at me like that…”

Soap reads into text messages so hard sometimes. And he can tell right away when you’re not feeling so hot. A lot of “oh, that’s ok” and “but you don’t have to”. And like he’s already in his way to your place. He’s not even gonna ask, he knows you need him.

Ghost is specifically weak to overwhelm tears. He doesn’t like seeing you cry from being sad, but he hates seeing you cry because everything has just become too much. Too many burdens— too many people asking favors you couldn’t say no to. It really hurts his heart when you’re hurt because you’re kind— he’ll put aside anything and everything to attend to that.

Price is always watching you like a hawk. And his sights are set on you when he can see you quietly retreating. When you feel like no one is listening, paying attention, that you have nothing to offer. You do this sneaky thing where you try to slip away or go quiet when you think no one will notice if you do. He always notices. Will stop at nothing to pull you back in.

König is especially sensitive to your hormonal tears. Makes him feel so powerless— he can’t help what your body is doing to you. So he basically worships at your altar during that time— snacks, letting him use him as a heated, weighted blanket, giving you orgasms. He’s literally turning his phone off to attend to you— no distractions.

Nikolai gets especially keyed up when you’re upset because someone made you think a little less of yourself, intentional or not. He puts in all of this work to put you on a pedestal, his beautiful and fearsome darling, and someone else is picking at his stitch work. Once he attends to you, he’ll be making the offender beg for forgiveness.

[phntxm]

Love Languages hcs n/sfw

} real world, the nsfw part is VERY short y-y characters; mr. gap & mr. scarletella

My beloved aka Mr. Gap

he’s annoying and cute (canon)

likes to surprise you but acts nonchalant about it

no worries about danger in an alley—he always keeps an eye on you, and no one would dare touch you (he scares them away first)

the dev said it’d be funny to make players say something like, "what do you mean you’re kind when you’ve caused so many game overs?" when he helps you and calls himself good/kind.

yeah, he’s silly like that (luv him)

his love languages are gift-giving, quality time, and physical touch

gift-giving: as much as he loves receiving things from you, he loves giving things to you too

quality time: he can appear anywhere, anytime. sometimes, he’ll only spend a short time with you before leaving to prank someone, but at the end of the day, he’ll always come back to you—often in surprising ways (like appearing under your bed or blanket)

physical touch: the moment he reached his arms out to hug the mc, I was screaming—he’s so cute! I thought he’d be the type to dislike being touched, but he reached out first, so yeah

Mr. Scarletella

most of the main characters are born as ghosts, and since they’re born from people’s beliefs (similar to Rise of the Guardians), if people don’t believe in them, they can’t be seen

at first, I headcanoned him as asexual since he’s more of a phenomenon than a person, but this is a romantic horror game, so...

he learns about love by watching human lovers, but he’s still bad at it, and his love is twisted, so his actions aren’t exactly normal

in Japan, it’s common for guys to be shy and for girls to confess their feelings first

the scene where he says "me like you" follows a moment where we give him a gift and he says, "you like me" this can be interpreted as us confessing love to him first

the word "together" (一緒に), if I’m not wrong, can imply romantic feelings. Saying you’re going to do something together can lead someone to think you have feelings for them

physical touch: he imitates what he thinks humans consider romantic—holding hands, staying close to each other, etc.

words of affirmation: honestly, the only thing you’d probably need to say to him is to tell him to stfu already

acts of service & gift-giving: he lures someone with his illusions to lead them to his territory, just so you can hunt them down. he also helps you cover the evidence if needed and offers human prey as a gift for you

quality time: bros been spending his time stalking you since the very beginning

nsfw;

Mr. Gap

dacryphilia

if you being stressed and cry, he'd be worries, but on the bed is other thingggg broo

TEASES A LOT

like both verbally and physically with your body

orgasm denial, he enjoys keeping you on edge

likes to appear at the edge of your bed at night, crawling from your toes up to your body

appear under your blanket to fingering u

bro MIGHT just be really good at fingering

Mr. Scarletella

somnophilia

I think mr. crawling would be into this too but the different is, mr.crawling he lets you know and ensures you both consent, on other hand, mr. scarletella just does it cuz he wants

role play master-servant but he's the servant

into spanking and bl00d play too but he's M not S

[balkanradfem]

So my roommate flopped. She moved her things in, and then I haven't seen her for a week. She didn't contact me either. I figured something went wrong, and that she's probably not going to live here, and then she called me, telling me she's moving out. Turns out that day after she moved in, she got fired, because she was an extra to the company, and she has to move back home with her parents.

I wasn't too upset because I did not enjoy her company at all, but, I did have to go back to searching for a roommate. The plant lady helped me this time, and she found a woman who needed to house an immigrant worker who worked for her – a woman from Nepal. I immediately said yes to this, because that is too cool, I would get to talk to her in english! And I would learn something about a foreign culture, I love that. Her employer came to see the place, and did not give me a good vibe. She asked if heating could be turned off to save on bills. I shut that down quickly, our heating is charged by the square meter. She told me very sternly to save as much as possible on utilities, which I already do, but then to also tell her employee to save up too. I didn't like that.

She came to move in the next day, and I was nervous. But then I saw her and she is so sweet! She struggles to speak english, but could understand what I was saying very well. So while she knew exactly what I was saying, I had to ask her to repeat things to me multiple times, sometimes missing the meaning because I couldn't grasp her accent. She asked me if I could teach her Croatian, and I said yes.

I took her to her workplace to show her the quickest route, and she told me that she has a working husband and two children, so she's working in here and sending her salary back home. Her mother is taking care of the kids because they're both working. She kept asking me if I'm married, or have a boyfriend, or children, and why not, and I could not put any nuance in my explanations, so I just said I liked freedom.

Then she asked me what age I was, and I already knew that we're the same age, because her employer told me she's 34 as well, but she didn't know my age, and was shocked when I said 34! She thought... she thought I was 17 T_T. It must be cultural differences because I do not look like a teen, I swear. I was wearing a silly hat, I think that must have done it.

I was showing her how to use everything in the kitchen and bathroom, and realized it's almost time for winter decorations; so I asked her what winter holidays she celebrated. She didn't know how to answer that, so I asked her if she celebrated hindu holidays, because I had read that 80% of Nepali people practiced hinduism. And she goes 'No, I'm Christian', and I'm like WHAT. What were the odds of that? So then I had to explain to her that I am the one out of two of us who doesn't celebrate Christmas, which is so funny, and ironic, but it's where we are. I'll put up a little tree anyway, I'll just say it's for the Winter Solstice.

I'm pleased with my new roommate. I made sure to learn to say her real name – she uses a simple made-up name because most Croats struggle to pronounce the real one. I'm constantly worrying she doesn't have all she needs so I am giving her gloves and clothing and letting her use my stuff until she has her own, but it's also fun for me to be able to interact with someone who came from so far away. All my experiences with foreign women are so nice! 

[beautifullilacsky]

"Will you overthinking this?" He asked as we were walking hand in hand in the park.

Me, fully aware I have already started overthinking the moment he mentioned that her friend broke off her relationship: "....... juuup"

"What are you overthinking about? Lets discuss it together, let me help"... I explained how, maybe, now that she is single, she might try to get over a guy by getting under another one. Or maybe, since you guys tall about problems and are pretty close, she turns to flirting now that she is single. "Okay and? Why would I get into that while I have my girlfriend at home? I would say no thank you. Also, I don't think she is the person to do that. I have met her before she was in a relationship, and she also wasn't like this then". Okay, well, .. maybe she will have heard bad things about me and will not like me or she will think I am not good enough for you, or too much, and tell you to break up with me. I mean, I'm in a relationship with you, not with her, but ja, well... He put his arms around me and stopped us from walking on, hugging me from behind. "Sometimes I forget how insecure you can be. Do you really think I'll just break up with you because someone tells me to? And besides, I think you should meet her. She is really kind and everytime I mentioned something, she was always more on the reassuring side." Well, I also thought your other friend was kind.. "..... true. ..... I don't have an argument against that."

"So... if she were to still be in a relationship, would it be okay? .. meh, I feel like that's a bad excuse. "Yeah she is in a relationship anyway" , as if that changes anything. Doesn't that sound like a bad thing to you?" Hmm. Well. Honestly, I felt better when she was in a relationship, assuming it wasn't an u know who typa relationship. It's always a 2 people's decision. And that way, I am at least sure that one side is on the no side (as I said it out loud, I realized how fuckedup it sounded.) "Shouldn't you trust me to already be on the no side?" .... I should, yes. I just don't know what to make of the fact that you told me that you can't promise me that it won't happen again. "That was a year ago" .... "back then I wasn't super sure, and before that I was def not sure. Also, I did not want to force you to trust me (def different exact words from his, buthey, u get the point.). It's been a year." Would you get back to it and say something different now then? "Yes. I am sure that it will never happen again".

And there it was. I know he is a firm believer in actions over words, but sometimes I need words to be sure. He told me that he tells me the truth, and I know he does. Thus, if he tells me, I believe him. So. Maybe this is what I needed to truly get to trusting him again. His word. It's not a signed contract, I know. I can't sue him if his words turn out to be false. Though, I needed this. I needed his faith in himself to make sure it won't happen again. Fuck damn hey. I needed him to believe in himself. If he doesn't believe he will stop it the next time, who am I to believe so? Well well well. Before he left, if our roommate wasn't sitting right next to me, I would've said after he asked me if I'm still okay (for like, the 3th time): "if you say it won't happen again, I trust you." Fuck. And I'd mean it. I feel like I have entered a new reality. One in which it is safe for me to have faith in him. In which, sure, maybe a girl will flirt with him, but I can laugh about it. I can be proud to be with that hotstuff that she can't help but talk to. I can make jokes about it and raise my eyebrows up and down. I can do it all, and enjoy the situation, knowing. Truly knowing. That it doesn't matter at all if the other party is on the "yes-boat". He isn't, and he won't get onto it either. Even if a chance presents itself, he won't even see it as one. He has the set in stone plan to come back home to me. Even if she would get him drunk and touch him all over, ... he will say no. Even if it scares me more with booze, he is still himself. He doesn't get into a crazy trans and turns into a different person with different values. He is still the same person who held my hand as we walked in the autumn colored park, and said that it would never happen again.

It feels like something in me has been freed. As if trust was a fluffy creature within me, which was tied down. His words freed it. It still can't believe that the tiny trust guy is free. That it's safe to stand up now and run and smile and truly trust. It's astonished, grasping for those words that set it free. Wanting to hold them and craving for them to invade its veins with its lightning energy and brightness. May it no longer feel the need to stay on the ground; the ties have been undone. Fuck.

[runawaycatwalker]

Part 31. Perfect Dichotomy (Midnight Rendezvous, Part A)

< First | < Previous | Next >

Description below the cut

Chat Noir attempts to sit on the rolling chair by Marinette’s computer, but Ladybug pulls his tail and points at the chaise lounge instead.

Ladybug: Over here.  We can sit on the chaise lounge together.

Chat Noir: Oh?  You want me to be closer?

Chat exaggeratedly sprawls out onto Ladybug’s lap, arching his back and flinging his arms above his head.  Ladybug looks down at him with a teasing grin.

Chat Noir: How about this close?

Ladybug: A cat lying on my lap, huh?  That sounds...

Ladybug scratches the top of Chat’s head as he grins with deep pleasure.

Ladybug: Purr-fect.

Chat turns over and hugs Ladybug’s shin while she gives Chat more head scritches and rubs his back.

Ladybug: So… wanna tell me what's got you so spooked about Mayura?

Chat Noir: She and Catwalker… talked.  About me.  She mentioned some things that not many people would know.

Flashback to “Glaciator”: Marinette and Chat Noir rest on the railing of the balcony and look at each other as the moon shines over the city.

Ladybug (voiceover): But Marinette knows?  I suppose you have visited her a fair bit.  It's not all that surprising that you've shared some personal things with her...

Chat looks up at Ladybug and holds his finger and thumb an inch apart.

Chat Noir: It’s a bit more complicated than that.  Though I suppose I am missing some key details...

Ladybug puts her fist on her chin in contemplation (Her other hand continues giving Chat scritches).

Ladybug: So Catwalker’s been hiding things from you too...?

Chat Noir: More like Mayura was being extra cryptic—or lying.  All I really know for sure is that she’s looking for me.

Ladybug: I still don't understand why she cares so much...

Chat holds his hands out in a self-satisfied ‘Oh well!’ gesture.  (Ladybug stops giving him scritches).

Chat Noir: I like getting on villains' nerves, what can I say? I'll just have to keep frustrating her in our little game of 'Cat and Mouse'.

Ladybug pulls out the pillow from under her leg and ‘bonks’ Chat Noir on the head with it as he tries to placate her with a large grin.

Ladybug: Why do you make it sound like you’ve been doing something really stupid?

Chat Noir: Just because my methods are ridiculous, it doesn’t mean they don’t work!

Ladybug: That is not reassuring.

Chat leans against the chaise lounge next to Ladybug, hands clasped.

Chat Noir: Don’t worry, LB.  I’ve got it handled. I think the bigger problem is what prompted you to bring me here.  Wanna tell me what's wrong?

Chat kneels a leg next to Ladybug and places one hand on her arm and the other on her back.

Ladybug: I'm not sure how to explain...

Chat Noir: Start anywhere.  I think I can keep up.

Ladybug closes her eyes and holds her head in her hands with an expression of longing.

Ladybug: It's... Catwalker.  He's too perfect.

Chat Noir: ...You lost me.

A series of flashbacks with events shown pretty much as they occurred:

Flashback to “Kuro Neko”: Catwalker peeks around the corner at Kuro Neko, while Ladybug leans forward, catching her breath.

Ladybug (voiceover): He notices things that I'm too blind to see.

Catwalker (flashback): If that was Chat Noir, don't you think he'd talk to you?

Flashback to Part 6: View of Catwalker and Ladybug from below as they travel across the sky.

Catwalker (flashback): I can’t rule that out, but… my gut says that’s not it.

Ladybug (voiceover): His instincts about akumas are much better than mine.

Flashback to “Kuro Neko”: Ladybug looks at Catwalker as they kneel on a rooftop.

Ladybug (voiceover): It's like he already knows the answer I need.

Catwalker (flashback): Cats sometimes eat grass, it helps them spit out their hairballs.

Flashback to Part 8: A close-up of Ladybug looking right next to a close-up of Catwalker looking left.

Catwalker (flashback): You still have a multitude of people who can help you.

Ladybug (voiceover): And he's just nudging me to think of it myself.

Flashback to Part 18: Ladybug, still falling, throws her yo-yo through one of the holes in the lower conical barrier.  In the cone above, Catwalker places his hand against its barrier.  Both barriers begin to disintegrate.

Ladybug (voiceover): He always finds the right moment to use his powers.

Catwalker (flashback): Cataclysm!

Flashback to Part 26: Ladybug uses her yo-yo to flee as Oni-Chan lunges towards her.  But behind Oni-Chan, Catwalker has backflipped into the room behind her, his finger touching the amok with his Cataclysm.

Ladybug (voiceover): But I just ruin the opportunities he gives me because I never expect him to live up to you.

Flashback to Part 15: Ladybug turns back to looking down at the city below.  Catwalker holds up a hand to offer a friendly suggestion.

Catwalker (flashback): If you’d like to talk about anything, I’d be happy to stay and listen.

Ladybug (voiceover): And even when I can't do anything, he still acts so unbelievably kind...

Flashback to “Kuro Neko”: Catwalker, illuminated by the moon, reaches his hand before him for Ladybug to hold.

Ladybug (voiceover): He's just so... perfect.

Catwalker (flashback): Now I want to take care of you.

Ladybug (voiceover): But then I learned the truth:

Another series of flashbacks, with events depicted slightly off from what actually happened and Catwalker showing more malice.

Flashback to Part 12: Catwalker almost pointedly looks towards Carapace, who looks away guiltily.

Ladybug (voiceover): He lies and bends the truth with ease.

Catwalker (flashback): We only assume Adrien wants to be found.

Flashback to Part 17: Catwalker looks down towards Ladybug, the hand in front of him leaning on one of the barriers between them.

Catwalker (flashback): If he was dead, no one would know.

Ladybug (voiceover): And his lies lead to people suffering.

Flashback to Part 19: Catwalker steps forward, his hands palm upward in front of him, trying to explain himself.

Ladybug (voiceover): He'll use his heroic duty as an excuse to hold back.

Catwalker (flashback): I can't be as lax as Chat Noir was.

Flashback to Part 14: Catwalker grabs the end of Rena’s flute and pulls up the phone screen. Embedded flashback bubble from Part 20: Alya looks away and rubs the back of her neck.

Alya (flashback): He stole my phone number from my flute.

Ladybug (voiceover): But he crosses boundaries he shouldn't with no excuse.

Flashback to “Kuro Neko”: Catwalker pauses as he leaves Ladybug to finish everything on her own.

Ladybug (voiceover): He pretends to do what I want.

Catwalker (flashback): I won't make another move.

Flashback to Part 28: Astrowalker, wrapped tightly in yo-yo string (even his wings have been folded in on themselves and bound), hangs upside-down as Cosmobug points angrily at his face.

Catwalker (flashback): I followed you in case I needed to stay in your way.

Ladybug (voiceover): But he goes rogue once I'm not watching.

Flashback to Part 8: Catwalker lays on his side next to Emilie, reaching away from her.  Embedded flashback bubble from Part 20: Marinette clenches her fists in front of her, looking haunted.

Ladybug (voiceover): I can only guess at what other awful things he's hidden beneath my nose.

Marinette (flashback): What if he used his powers on his mom?

Flashback to Part 4: Catwalker grins at Ladybug with perfect posture, his hands on his lap.

Ladybug (voiceover): His perfection is an illusion.

Catwalker (flashback): I considered what I needed in order to be your 'ideal' partner.

Ladybug (voiceover): And I don't know what prices were paid to uphold his illusion.

Flashbacks end. Chat Noir kneels next to Ladybug on the chaise lounge as they embrace.

Chat Noir: I'm sorry, m'Lady. It's unfair that you've had to go through all of this.  If Catwalker is so wrong... would it be better if I was your Chat Noir again?

Ladybug: I wish I could let you. But I can't let Mayura target you.  Even if you were careful, she'd probably go after your loved ones in retaliation.  I won't let that happen.

Chat Noir: Alright.  Then what's the best way for me to support you?

Ladybug: Tell me how to fix everything?  *sob* I'm sorry, I don't think there's anything you can do.

Chat Noir: You're underestimating me.  And I think that you're underestimating him.  You're right that he's not perfect.  But I do think he's trying to be good.

Ladybug: I wish I had your ability to believe in people.  But Catwalker is too good of a liar.  I can't really know if he cares about anyone.  But I have to keep him as my partner.  I just have no idea how.

Chat Noir stands and rubs his chin in thought as Ladybug looks on.

Chat Noir: What if... What if I showed you the truth about Catwalker?

Ladybug: The... 'truth'?  You don't mean his identity, do you?

Chat Noir: No, of course not.  But this could fundamentally change how you see him—you wouldn't even need his name to trust him again.

Chat smiles down and touches his chest with both hands.

Ladybug: I can't see how that's remotely possible.

Chat Noir: You trust me even though you don't know who I am, don’t you?

Ladybug: Because I know you.

Chat Noir: Because you got to know me.  And if you knew the truth, you could know him too.

Chat scratches his head sheepishly and holds up a finger.  Ladybug turns away with hands raised, exasperated.

Chat Noir: There's just one itty-bitty catch.

Ladybug: Of course there's a catch...

Chat looks away, rubbing his arm.

Chat Noir: If I share this with you...?  My identity would make it dangerously easy to figure out who he is.  And a part of me was kinda hoping that I could show you who I am tonight.

Ladybug’s eyes widen in astonishment.

Ladybug: You wanted to share identities?

Chat Noir: Just mine.  I know his identity, so I shouldn't risk learning yours too anytime soon.

Chat leans down to touch Ladybug’s shoulder and holds up his fist encouragingly.

Chat Noir: But if you want to be absolutely certain of Catwalker's loyalties?  To understand the person who is hiding behind the mask?  I'd need to keep my identity from you a little while longer.

Chat Noir raises both hands to offer two options.  Above his right hand is the image of Catwalker.  Above his left is the image of Adrien Agreste.

Chat Noir: But it’s your choice, Ladybug: Learn the underlying truth about your new partner?  Or learn the civilian identity of your old partner?

Below is the same image as above, only without text:

[sockatoothewafflebird]

u prolly have already but pls i want in depth yap abt caitvi in arc3 and how they heal :)

oh anon i have NOT yapped about how they heal. not in detail at least. so here we go. there's not a lot that hasn't been said about them, but i'd like to put my perspective into the ring just because. as an eldest sister and as a lesbian i can relate to vi in a lot of ways.

i think my main takeaway for caitvi in act 3 is how they're both human, in the ways they love and in the ways they fight. arcane is a show that respects its audience and trusts us to be able to read between the lines and i appreciate how you can see every little detail of the words they're not saying if you look close enough.

in The Scene especially you can see just how real theyre being... im not gonna dwell on it, but by the skin of my teeth and the bones in my knees they LOVE each other. you can see it so clearly.

caitlyn walks in on vi questioning everything she is. violet legit just let her sister slip from her fingers, again. i cannot tell you how many times i've felt guilty when my sister or brother are hurt or do something wrong, even if i had no part in it. i cannot imagine how much it would hurt to lose them and keep going only because of the possibility of finding them again, and then when i finally do find then they're ripped from my arms. and it happens more than once. i would be in the same place vi is. blaming herself for all of it. making the burden of protecting her sister all hers and no one else's. wondering whether or not she's doing the right thing at all. (cough coughh petra minecraft is that you)

as stressful as they can be sometimes they're my siblings and i'd do anytning for them. and with the kind of person vi is, for her that means punching whoever's in the way. doing whatever she can. she has a big heart and she's never lost it.

after caitlyn basically dumped her in the most entitled way possible vi had nothing left. no one to protect and nothing to fight for. so she fought just for the sake of fighting. after getting her family back and losing them again (holy ballsockets she was put through the wringer) all she had was cait even if cait hurt her. i think even if cait never did anytbing to make it up to her, she would have stayed, because vi needs an anchor.

caitlyn's hurt a lot of people directly or indirectly. she grew up priveleged and stayed that way, never truly seeing exactly how much pain people are going through until it's too late to turn back. caitlyn's arc is a very interesting one because she never says the words "i'm sorry". she never tells vi that what she did was wrong and that she wants to fix it. but she does things that prove her remorse.

caitlyn works with vi in the end of act 2. i think this is partially because she was already skeptical of ambessa from the start, and partially because she wanted to find a way to make it up to her. caitlyn doesn't fold as soon as vi calls her cupcake, that's not what the look is. The Look is her thinking, "wait, does she not hate me? why did she call me her term of endearment even after everything i've done?"

in act 3, caitlyn takes all the guards out of the prison, because she knew vi would try to rescue her sister. in the words of another post i forgot to save (deepest apologies to the op of that one), vi could have taken jinx and ran. caitlyn might have never seen her again and she let that happen anyway. and cait even went to the cell to check to see if her theory was true, and lo and behold it was. and vi failed at trying to save her sister. again.

what does caitlyn do? she tells vi that she relieved the prison of the guards because of her. all confident and sultry and commanding like she knows what she's doing.

and then when they're getting into it caitlyn frantically pulls away. she realizes that, yeah, she still needs to make things right. she tries to be honest, tell vi that she saw someone else, and vi just reassures her and keeps going. i think thisnis because 1) vi wants the cupcake, who wouldn't, and 2) she's... not exactly forgiving, that needs more work- but she's showing her appreciation for caitlyn here. caitlyn did something huge for her, she let her break a prisoner out which could have dire consequences for both of them.

i think vi just absolutely smothering cait is also a way to show that even though cait hurt her physically as well as emotionally, she's gone past that. if vi hadn't at least given some thought about cait's actions she would not let this happen, i don't think, unless she's super desperate. this proves that vi is starting to move on and cait is starting to revert back to that sputtering stuttering pinned-to-a-wall-flustered woman she was in season one- that's the woman vi fell in love with, after all... and that woman is battered and bruised and has plenty of sins to stone for. but that woman is not dead.

The Scene in the cell is both them being desperate and them showing their love for each other without words. caitlyn's hand lingers on vi's injury, maybe about to utter an apology, but vi cuts her off anyway. there's SO many little things here gaughehgjf.

and in the end of the show, when caitlyn looks into the hexgates in her family's archives, she looks because vi probably asked her to. vi wanted to be sure. she looked because she cares about vi. whether or not she'll tell vi about this is an interesting thought- i don't think she would. it would undermine jinx's sacrifice.

jinx walked away so she could move on. so piltover could move on. so zaun could move on. so vi could move on. and caitlyn telling vi that she's alive would ruin the steps they've taken towards healing.

i think vi's main problem was dedicating her life to her sister and nothing else. and caitlyn's was just her exploiting a broken system and mever recognizing her faults. vi starts to heal because now that her sister is truly gone to her, she can move away from the past and build her own future. and now that caitlyn's fully realized her mistakes she can take steps towards changing piltover for the better. GAHH i love complicated sapphics especially when there's sapphic joy after all the suffering....

this was all written in one sitting so apologies if it's messy, and i've sort of compiled some other ideas and theories i've seen in here too; but yeah, these are my thoughts on caitvi in season 2. i think they could've been fleshed out a bit more, but overall their relationship is legendary. i'll never stop loving them. caitvi supremacy people 💪

[justwriting]

THK episode 1 rambling thoughts

I am obsessed with this show. I have watched episode 1 five times! And I am absolutely in love with all 4 main characters.

I am not good at writing in-depth analysis or meta of any series as I tend to take things to literally sometimes. However, several things that strike me:

Kant and Fadel are more similar than we (I) think: Fadel with his job as an assassin by night and chef by day is precise with whatever he does. One only needs to see when he cut those tomatoes perfectly and carefully prep the burgers. Similarly, Kant as a tattoo artist means he needs to be meticulous and patient when he designed + apply those tattoos on his clients. Both also clearly love their brothers and willing to do die anything for them - including letting said self being blackmailed multiple times by a shady cop or moving your entire life hood/business to another town cause your beloved baby brother went bonkers during a drunken karoake session. Both also internalised their problems and project calm externally - although Fadel comes across as broody (but handsome) while Kant appears more affable (also handsome!) because of his flirtatious nature. Nevertheless, this is one of the reason why I think Kant & Fadel clashes (apart from Kant wanting to boink Fadel's baby brother) - they are too similar in nature and knows how the other operates.

Style and Bison are chaos incarnates and gremlins to the core. While Style may come of as ridiculous and bold, he is sharper than he looks. The fact that he can get under Fadel's skin so quickly means he clocks on what irritates Fadel and just roll with the punches without fear. Similarly, when Style told Kant he will only hit on Fadel if Kant gives up his precious car? That is him checking out Kant's interest in Bison because he knows how much Kant adores that car. Bison despite his sweet look is cunning and knows how to play to his strength. We know he has Fadel wrapped around his fingers. And while Kant may be the one flirting (at this point), Bison is the one pulling the strings. Even from their first one night encounter, Bison sets the pace (and tone) - from declining to give his name to boldly stating "You're not doing this solo, you know?". Plus while he seems receptive towards Kant's flirting (later on), Bison is constantly watching Kant's moves and calculating in his mind how much he wants to trust him.

Fadel and Bison relationship as brothers - they are polar opposites. However, it is obvious Fadel loves Bison even though he does not truly understands his lil brother. Similarly, while Bison may rebel, he ultimately obeys his big brother. After all, he wouldn't have asked Kant to win Fadel over if Kant ever wants to date him. May I also add that both Bison and Fadel are broken in some ways and it will be interesting to see their background story as the series progresses. I also personally think while Fadel is more stoic on the outside, he also has the gentler/fragile heart when compared to Bison.

Kant and Style are crazy - the former knows Bison is a hitman but still decides to seduce him (even with him being blackmailed, you can't convince me that is enough reason to proceed with the seduction). Style does not know Fadel is a hitman - however, the fact that Kant does not feel the need for his best friend to know of this important fact tells you a lot about how bold and fearless Style can be.

Kant, Bison and Fadel have control issues - in some ways they are all powerless and have no say on how to live their live. From Kant being frequently used by the police to do their dirty job to Bison/Fadel being raised as assassins. So, it certainly will be interesting to see how the 2 couples face their lack of control - some people have already theorized the BDSM scenes we will be seeing from KantBison stem from the need to have/give up control and it certainly seems to be heading towards that direction.

Either way, I am enjoying the cat and mouse game both couples are playing (although Fadel is clearly an unwilling participant at present). Both sides are convinced they have the upper hand, but I think all 4 are actually on a more even plane than they themselves realised.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

I have a little request if that’s alright😊

Could you possibly do a like fluffy aftercare fic with Rhys? Like I love the smut but sometimes that really fluffy aftercare with him checking in on you and making sure you are okay is even better. Him getting a bath ready and helping you clean up and him feeding you.

Basically what I’m trying to say is fluffy smut with fluffy aftercare is delicious lol

I absolutely love your Rhys fics!!! I’m DEVOURING Love and War and just your Rhys fics on general lol

I hope you’re taking care of yourself and have a great day sweetheart💜💜

I love requests! Send as many as you like! <3 Rhys doesn't get enough love so I've decided to roll up my sleeves and put out as many fics as possible and it makes me so happy to see other people enjoying them as much as me! I hope you like this one! <3

-----

Vacation Days

It's the crackling of logs in the fireplace that awakens you; the hiss of flames and the hint of pine that perfumes the air a gentle alarm clock that makes you roll over onto your side to peer out the window to see how early in the morning it is. The sky is still gray, though it could be the encroaching storm clouds that darken the sky and not the time.

You drag the heavy, fur lined blanket up over your head and bury your face in the pillow. Whatever the case, it's too early! And you're too comfortable to get up.

The bed dips beside you, blankets shifting as another body climbs into the mountain of furs needed to keep out the deep Illyrian chill. Strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against a very bare, and very icy chest.

You give a little squeak of discomfort as your mate tosses a leg around your waist, effectively trapping you against his body.

"Rhhhhyyyyssssss," you whine, voice still thick with sleep.

He kisses the top of your head, hands soothing down your back, even as the deep baritone of his laugh rumbles through his chest. "Morning, love."

"No morning. Sleep." You grumble, burying your head in his tattooed chest and squeezing your eyes shut. "We're on vacation. I'm sleeping."

The hand on your back trails lower, until he can, teasingly, give your ass a squeeze. "I can think of a few other activities we could be doing in this bed for our vacation."

In the early morning haze, your shields are completely down, and he slips right into your mind with the ghost of a caress, filling your head with images of your running your tongue along his body, tracing tattoo and muscle as he guides you onto his lap, letting you ride him slowly, leisurely, taking your time until you're both a mess. You can taste the tang of salt from the sweat that clings to his bare skin, hear those soft, breathy moans you love to drag out of him as you roll your hips over his, taking him deeper into your tight heat. Despite your desperate attempts to cling to sleep, heat pools in your lower belly.

"Rhys," you warn.

His other hand slips beneath your nightgown, dragging sensual fingers along your spine as his lips drop to your shoulder and leave slow, deliberate kisses along your exposed flesh.

"I'm not doing anything," he lies, the image he crafts shifting to him rolling you onto your back, his head between your legs, tongue lapping against your center, warm and wet in contrast to the bruising grip his hands keep on your thighs.

Your breath catches in your throat at the sight; you can practically feel him inside you already.

"You're a terrible liar," you retort. Especially when the proof of his own arousal is flush against your hips.

His teeth nip at the juncture of your neck and shoulder, his own hips rocking just enough that he can claim it’s an accident, even though you know it's not. You've been mated long enough now, you know his tells, can practically taste how much he wants you, even if he’s clever enough to tamper down on it through the bond so it doesn't blast you with the strength of it. Sometimes it still shocks you, just how much he wants you. You'd thought it would fade over time, had kept yourself up at night early in your relationship, convinced that eventually the High Lord of the Night Court would get bored having a simple little healer for a mate, but every day he calms those fears and shows you just how much he loves and wants you.

You can't help the little sigh that escapes you when he gets his lips on your throat, head tilting back reflexively to give him more access. Though your mind knows what it wants, your body moves on instinct, melting in his grip. This is as natural as breathing. The proximity of his body is calming, soothing the irritation of being woken up, filling your body with warmth.

His lips trail over your throat, along the underside of your jaw, warm breath caressing your quickly flushing skin, as he trails over your chin. He fills your mind with more images: You on your stomach, body flush with the mattress as his lips trail up your spine, hands caressing your bare skin in heated touches; the two of you in the shower, bodies slick with soap, caged against the damp stones and his chest, hips rutting leisurely into each other. Each image is a little more intense than the last, the bond flickering with the need he's been trying to hold at bay until you were more awake and ready for it.

You slide your hands over his bare chest, feeling the thundering beat of his heart against your palms as his lips finally slot over yours. Though he is more than ready for you, there is a leisurely pace to his movements; he knows he has time, days even, to have you. You'd come up to Illyria for a long weekend, and the Inner Circle is under strict orders to not contact either of you until you've returned to Velaris. Things have been tense in the city lately, Rhys' office cluttered with all the paperwork necessary to rebuild after the War with Hybern. Your little clinic has been full to the brim for weeks and weeks. Both of you have spent the better part of three months only seeing each other in passing before exhaustion pulls you into bed with little more than a kiss goodnight. You feel that lack of intimacy in his movements, in the way his body moves against yours. There is an air of desperation, only quelled with the knowledge that he can take his time with you.

And you with him. Fully awake now, your senses on alert, you are painfully aware of the ache between your legs. It's been too long. Far too long without this sort of intimacy. Your hands slide up his chest and shoulders, trailing until you can card your fingers through his hair.

He moans against your lips as you scrape your nails against his scalp. "Tell me..." his voice is a ragged, desperate thing, lips brushing with every word like he can't bear to drag himself any further away from your body. "Tell me to stop and I will."

Sleep is distant memory now, though you no longer mind it like you did a few minutes ago. You adjust the placement of your hips and manage to roll him onto his back, hips flush, his erection heavy and hot between your legs. You give your hips a little roll as you brace yourself on your elbows, brushing your chest against his as you lean down to kiss him once more.

"I've been convinced to get up," you tease.

His hands eagerly grip your hips, urging you to grind down on him as his tongue slips behind your teeth. Your bond hums appreciatively at the contact, the months of stress and separation slipping away.

"Although, I hope this doesn't become a habit of yours, you know I need my beauty sleep."

He releases his grip on your hips just long enough to find the hem of your nightgown and push it up and over your shoulders, letting the silken fabric fall somewhere in the pile of blankets you'd disturbed. Deft fingers trace the swell of your breasts, tweaking over nipples pebbled in the cool cabin air, before skimming back down your stomach until he can once again hold your hips.

"How could you possibly get any more beautiful than you already are?" He says, violet eyes tracing every bare inch of you, narrowing in on the lone piece of clothing separating you from him.

You kiss him again, trying to hide the blush that dusts your cheeks. You know he can feel it through the bond, know he knows just how much little things like that mean to you.

"So perfect," he murmurs, chasing after you when you break the kiss. You'd think you had starved him of affection for years on end with the way he keeps coming back, body shifting and rocking beneath you. Soft, little moans leave his lips every time you grind yourself a little harder against his cock, still separate from you by the thin layer of his sleep pants and your violet colored panties. You hadn't been paying too much attention to them when you'd changed last night, but the color and the little bow along the waistband are fitting now.

You try to pull away to rid him of his pants, too many layers between you, but he keeps you locked in place with a grip on your hips that's tight enough to leave a bruise.

"Want you out of these pants," you insist.

A small wave of his fingers has both your clothes disappearing into a random pocket realm for the time being, leaving his hands free to position the tip of his weeping cock against your entrance.

The first drag of his tip through your folds makes your head lull back, mouth falling open as you moan unabashedly. It has been far, far too long since you've been able to enjoy him like this.

"Look at my pretty girl, all ready for my cock," Rhys croons. "What was that about being tired, love?"

"Don't remember," you mumble, hands splaying across his chest to brace yourself as he slides into you an inch at a time.

He grins victoriously. "I've missed this."

It's always a bit of a stretch, taking all of him, especially after so long without him, but despite the desperation that claws down the bond at you, he takes his time, letting you adjust.

"Me too," you say, voice a breathless rasp as you try to find your bearings again. He's everywhere, filling you up so thoroughly you forget why you had reservations at all. You should have spent the whole night with him inside you, making up for lost time.

He's barely sheathed inside you before you start rocking your hips, forgoing all patience and chasing the pleasure that has started to build at the base of your spine. It's too much and not enough. Everything you need and yet not quite within reach yet.

He tuts at your neediness, holding you in place with a chuckle. "What's the rush, Darling?"

You gently drag your nails over the plains of his chest. Later, once the bond is satiated a little more, you'll take your time and run your tongue over every swirl of his tattoos. Let the dark ink lead you steadily down between his legs so you can take his glorious cock down your throat, but right now... right now the last three months are obvious in every coiled muscle of your body. You need him to move, hard and fast; to fill you up until the absence no longer feels like such a gaping wound.

"Move, please, Rhys," you beg.

He temporarily lets go of your hips so he can prop himself up on his elbows and kiss you properly, hips shifting upwards, cock driving deeper into your aching core.

You use the freedom to roll your hips, savoring the slight burn as he stretches you out further, body adjusting to his size. It's all a delicious torture you'll come back to time and time again.

You're not going to last very long at this rate, but there's no stopping your body from slowing down, from trying to savor it. The bond knows you still have days left to be slow. When he pulls out of the kiss, your lips automatically drop to his neck, kissing and sucking as many marks into his skin as you can.

One of his hands soothes down your back as the other goes back to your hip, helping you follow the quick pace of his thrusts as he slides almost all the way out of you and then right back in.

"So perfect," he purrs as he hits the spot inside of you that makes you see stars. Your natural reaction to the stimulation is to clamp your teeth down on his shoulder, and he lets out a groan that makes the coil in your belly even tighter. You love it when he's vocal for you, when he doesn't hold back the obvious sounds of his own enjoyment. Sometimes he gets too focused on your pleasure that he loses sight of his own.

Your bodies find a smooth rhythm, the headboard tapping the wall with the rocking motion of your bodies. The air filled with the sounds of your joining and the soft crackle of flames in the fire place. The flames cast your bodies in an orange halo, you trace the fractions of light across his bronze skin with your lips, just as his hands trace your skin.

His name falls from your lips like a prayer, chanted and recited like worship as your bodies meet over and over again. Stars blur across your vision, maybe from your mate, maybe from the bond, it is hard to tell at this point. Not that it matters, as long as the heat coiled in the base of your spine continues to spread and fill you.

Rhys' hand slips between your legs, rubbing tight circles into your dripping heat. He hums appreciatively at the wetness that spills down your thighs, coating his cock in a milky rings as he slides in and out of you.

"'m'close," you murmur into his neck, where you've left a darkening bruise with your teeth. He looks so pretty all marked up by you.

His thrusts stutter at your words, losing the rhythm for a moment as you feel the muscles in his abdomen tighten against your pelvis. "Let go, I've got you," he assures, lips dusting over yours. He won't be far behind.

His fingers rub circles against your clit, drawing that blissful edge closer and closer with every pass. Your breath stutters out of you, hips rocking without rhythm, trying to chase the white hot pleasure that licks up your spine.

His own motions chase after yours, finding the rhythm again, hitting the perfect spot inside you once, twice, and a third before your orgasm crests and washes over you. The clenching of your core around his aching cock drives him into his own release, hips stuttering as he fills you with his own release.

Your bodies slow their movements as you collapse on top of his chest, sticky with sweat and your joint release. His heartbeat slows, becoming steady against your cheek as he catches his breath, hands soothing down your back.

"Did so good for me," he coos, lips pressing soft kisses against the top of your head.

You let your eyes drift shut as you catch your breath, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his body as you come down from your high. The bond finally quiets, content for now, and you stroke a mental hand down it, letting him know just how much he means to you through it.

Once you've both come down from your highs, he rolls you over onto your side so he can slide out of you, lips gently caressing yours when you wince from the over-stimulation. "I'll be right back."

Even though you believe it, it's still a loss, the lack of warmth obvious from the moment he leaves the bed to fill the tub with water. You need him back in your arms immediately and you will not be soothed until it is so.

Like he knows this, he's back quickly, but instead of sliding back under the covers, he lifts you up into his arms and carries you to the bathroom, where the tub is full of bubbles and sweet, jasmine scented oils. He doesn't even try to let go of you, especially not when you have your face buried in his neck, just steps into the tub and settles you comfortably in his lap in the delicious heat of the tub.

A sigh escapes your lips as the heat licks up your aching muscles, body relaxing as you close your eyes again. Rhys' hands sooth up your sides, drawing simple patterns into your skin as he rests his head atop yours.

"Are you all right, Darling?"

You let your own fingers trace the water droplets that adorn his tattooed chest, movements leisurely and slow. You can take your time now. "Perfect."

He leans back against the tub with a hum of approval. A flick of his wrist makes the lights dim and candles along the counter flair to life, bathing the room in a soft glow that feels like it's made to match the flicker of starlight you feel dancing around the bridge between your souls.

"I've missed you," you say as you tilt your head back to look at him.

Rhys presses a kiss to your temple as his magic brings a matching set of champagne glasses and bottle to sit along the edge of the tub. "We've spent too long apart," he agrees as a shadow of his power moves to pour the champagne for him. "Let's definitely not make a habit of it."

You take the glass despite the bubbles that drip from your hands and tap it against his in toast. "Agreed."

To go with your drink, a plate of fruits and pastries appears, the later still warm, a curl of steam slipping out the sides. You raise a brow at him. "Whose oven are you pulling these out of?"

He grins as he takes a grape off the plate and offers it to you. "Maybe I made them before you woke up."

The fruit bursts in your mouth, but even the pleasant flavor isn't enough to distract you. "Darling, you are many things, but a pastry chef is not one of them."

"Fair enough," he concedes, bringing a strawberry to your lips this time.

After months of tending to so many other people, it is nice to have someone taking care of you. Your muscles relax further against his body, letting the gentle lapping of the water soothe any residual discomfort as he feeds you.

"I thought about making you something I could cook, but I didn't want to leave you alone that long. We only have so much time before we have to go back."

You take a sip of your champagne and reach for a croissant with chocolate dripping from the sides, but he snags it first and brings it within reach of your mouth for you.

"Maybe we should extend our vacation," you don't like the heaviness you feel when he sighs, not when you finally have a moment to not think about it. "Just for another day or two?"

He steals a bite of your croissant as he thinks about it.

"Amren can handle things for one more day," you suggest as you drag your fingers between the plains of his chest. "We've earned a vacation and more than our fair share of rest."

He leans down to kiss you gently. "That you have, Darling."

"Both of us," you press. "Besides, I didn't get out of our comfy bed for nothing, I think we still have some catching up to do."

Stars glitter in his violet eyes as he takes his glass from the edge of the tub and taps it against yours in another toast. "Yes we do."

[thenexusofsouls]

"Well if I failed it, that means I didn't learn it, right? I dunno, though, honestly, real life's not like school. They try to tell you, 'Memorize these eighteen vocab words or you'll grow up a loser and won't get a job,' but really... as an adult, if you wanna know somethin', you look it the hell up." Wade really thought that today's American schools were doin' a real disservice to kids, with the memory recall and repetition techniques instead of teaching them important things like critical and independent thinking.

"I think 'steada teachin' kids to memorize shit, we should be teachin' 'em life skills, like how to use a library or a computer, how to do your taxes, how to manage your finances, stick to a budget, how to ask the right questions, basic email etiquette, how to network socially, how to make a resume, that kinda stuff. That's the stuff you need to know to be a functional adult, not what sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia means." There was a quiet beat and then, "Brain freeze. That's what it means. You know, like when you eat ice cream too fast? I just love sayin' it, that's the only reason I know it," he said with a chuckle. "I dunno, I learn better by doin', not by readin' or studyin'. There's no substitute for life experience, man."

He saw Rockland's energy be taken down a peg about being a responsible person, and he understood why. "Yeah, I know, bein' responsible's no fun, and it sucks that you've gotta do it so young, but it really is admirable. And it'll give you a leg up later in life, definitely. You're already ahead of most kids just because you pay attention to all this stuff they don't. So keep that in mind. It sucks, but it pays off, trust me," he tried to say by way of encouragement and cheering the kid up a bit. Sometimes life gave you lemons, but if you learned how to make lemonade out of them early on, you were better off later.

As the conversation shifted to Rockland's mom, Wade could see the conflict in the young boy's eyes. He shrugged at little at his assumption that her leaving meant she didn't care. "Eh, not necessarily. People leave for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it's not even really under their control. For example... I once was paid to find a guy who'd completely disappeared. His family was lookin' for him, he owed all this money, he let all his bills lapse, that sorta thing. Guy was gone for years. His family was thinkin' he was a total jerk and just took off to start a new life somewhere. Turns out he actually did. I found him a couple states over livin' a completely different life. Here's the catch, though... The guy had been in a car accident, got a head injury, and suffered almost total amnesia. He didn't know who the hell was and started over again somewhere else. Isn't that wild? So it's not always that people don't care. There can be a lotta reasons why someone leaves."

Wade started chuckling as Rockland asked him if he slept. "I'm not Dracula, buddy. Yeah, I sleep. I just usually do it from morning to late afternoon 'steada at night, that's all. So I'm not tired right now, I just got up a few hours ago. I just didn't wanna get you into any trouble keepin' you out late. Also I'm not lookin' to be accused of kidnappin'. That'd kinda look bad on my resume, you know?" he joked.

Well that caught their attention alright. A middle finger had shot into the air, directed at a group of teens across the street who were hovering by a Duncan Donuts long closed for the night. The boy beneath the hoodie, propelling said finger, sneered. Just like that, the group of five moved towards him, the tallest, Shacks, sauntering forward with an irritating air of confidence. And to think, there'd been a time when Rockland had thought he was cool.

"You can't seriously blame us, Rocky." He looked to the others with cruel amusement, "It was a prank, get a sense of hum-" Too busy searching for the favour of his crew, he'd missed the draw of the younger teen's fist before it met his cheek.

"Prank my ass, I could've been arres-oof." Rockland was tackled by Archie, the smallest of the bunch, who was about a head shorter than he was, but kinda stalky for his age, and with the element of surprise on his side. Cane clattering out of hand, and across the sidewalk, the lanky teen scraped across the pavement, electric pain radiating up from his tailbone. He caught the breath that had been knocked out of him just in time to catch the thump of a fist to the nose in return. - For Wade

Wade didn't know what to make of this city yet. He'd only been here a couple days and was still trying to get his bearings. It wasn't a bad city, he thought, just cold. Just... really cold when you're alone, like all cities are. Nevertheless, Wade did some hunting and stocked up on other supplies, always wanting to stay on the move. That's how he got jobs, and that's how he kept sane.

Tonight had been quiet enough so far... that is until he heard sounds of a fight. But a fight... between kids? Was he hearing this right? Wade made his way toward the sounds, and sure enough, some kids whose parents were absent and whose bedtimes must be fast-approaching were going at it. Or rather, several kids were beating up on one unfortunate one.

"Hey! Come on, cut it out, what the hell're you guys doin'?!" Wade yelled, hoping to scatter the bullies. "You know better than this, get off him! Don't make me call the cops!" he said, watching as they all scattered... save for one. Wade knelt down beside the boy lying on the ground. "Hey, buddy, you okay?" he asked gently.

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[ubejamjar]

ffxiv rarepair week || jantoirel

artoirel's eyes are 'forget-me-not blue' and jandelaine could never forget them, forget him.

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[meraki24601]

Some things to remember:

Story structure, editing, and writing are stupid, and their problems change with every WIP.

Story structure, editing, and writing are fun, and their challenges change with every WIP.

No matter how much plotting you do in advance, you won't know how your story goes until you finish the first draft, so it's not worth spending too much time worrying about.

Finding someone you trust to give constructive criticism is crucial to successful storytelling.

People will tell you you're supposed to plan a story in many different ways. No matter how many different methods you learn about, they will only be helpful once you try something out. If you're overwhelmed with a single chapter, you're probably trying to do too much at once.

One of my writer friends refuses to write until they know every detail they want to include. Once they have a concept, they fill out a chart with the Save the Cat story structure, starting at the beginning and working straight through to a logical ending. My method consists of coming up with a concept, staring into the void while asking myself why until I work my way back to the beginning of the story, and then looking at what I have and asking what the closest thing to a conclusion would be. Anything from that initial starting point to the end is generally discovered as I write.

I'm not a big fan of editing. That's why I don't really edit the things I post here. If you find editing intimidating, wait to get started after you've finished your first draft. Let your story sit untouched for a few days, weeks, or even months if you need to. Bask in that "I just wrote a whole story, and it's a mess, but I did it, and I'm proud" feeling. Then, when you're ready, read what you wrote. If it helps, make notes of what you want to fix. The good thing about editing is that, in theory, your story is already divided into chunks. Work one chapter at a time.

Once you've written that second draft, throw it at a friend. Let them read and react. Listen to their feedback and study the moments they said something didn't work. Sometimes, they'll only have a few detail things, and other times, they'll tell you your story is cluttered and help you figure out a way to completely reorder everything that happens.

Remember, there is no required length for a story. If you're struggling with a full-length novel, start with a short story instead. My NaNoWriMo book from last year wound up basically becoming a collection of short stories that all took place in the same town on the same day. Keep trying things and get help where you can.

(Also, I love listening to people's story concepts and helping them work out their problems, so let me know if you'd like some story-specific help!)

Does anyone have ways to make plotting long fics less intimidating?? I can look up story structure all I want, but that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing or even that everything is interesting. Idk it just feels overwhelming and that's why anything longer than a chapter tends to stagnate! Too much to get done

[ageless-aislynn]

For 10 years, my fic with by far the most hits on AO3 was "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)."

And I'm proud of it, don't get me wrong. I think it actually contains some of my better writing. 🤷‍♀️ But it ended up being a one-off sort of thing: I thought I'd write more Olicity or Arrow in general and then just... didn't.

However, it was so far ahead of all of my other fics in hits, I figured nothing would ever challenge it for the top spot. I hadn't checked my stats in quite a while and so I was surprised to discover that the "Five Times" Olicity fic was now in second place.

I've written 114 fics in the Flash fandom and none of them have remained in my top 5, that was another surprise! But 3 of my 11 Halo fics now are: "15 Minutes," (John/female reader) "Side Effects" (John/Cortana, John/Kai, very NSFW) and "Recreation" (Kai/male reader, same world as "15 Minutes").

Now, why is any of that important? It's for the sheer fact that I don't write sci-fi military fiction well AT ALL. My interest has always been in the more domestic and romantic themes, for lack of a better thing to call it. "You write the moments between the adventures" was what somebody told me about my Doctor Who fics ("Balancing Act," which is third place on that list, is a multi-chaptered Ten/Donna NSFW romantic fix-it fic where every chapter clearly takes place after some sort of new adventure that I don't show you but instead reference 😉). I agree with that assessment, that IS basically what I write.

A little while ago, I read somebody criticizing a particular type of Halo fanfiction. They didn't name mine by name but basically said it wasn't written "properly" like it's "supposed" to be and was everything that's "wrong" with uninformed people writing things they shouldn't be.

Here's the kicker: I think they're wrong. If they would've pointed at somebody else's fic and said that same thing, I would've wanted to jump in and tell them to get over themselves. People are allowed to enjoy whatever they want to enjoy! If somebody wrote a story that's "wrong" in your opinion, then all you have to do is scroll on by.

Heck, if somebody wants to write about Master Chief riding into battle on a T-rex while waving a glowing, magic sword given to him personally by Gandalf the Grey... Well, dang it, I'd read it, lol! Yeah, that wouldn't take place in canon but what is fanfic even for if not to allow all sorts of exploration? What if Halo had dinosaurs and magic swords? What if Chief and Silver Team or Blue Team or a brand new team of OC Spartans desperately needed to go buy new curtains for their apartments after they'd hung out for a while at the most happening coffee shop on Reach where Thel 'Vadam was the barista who made amazing specialty drinks while also heading up the local garage band?

(Yeah, I made that manip for something else but might as well get more use out of it, right? 😂)

Anyway, you get my drift. If one of my fellow Halo writers would've gotten criticism like that, I would've challenged it. But it was too close to my own work and instead, I absorbed it. I feel like I shouldn't be writing for Halo, I'm too wrong, I'm too off. I mean, no wonder I'm struggling to finish my WIPs, right? That's the first thing that pops to mind when I try to write anything: Yeah, but you're doing this all wrong. You should be ashamed of what you're writing. You're insulting the real fans of Halo by trivializing the characters like this. You're disrespecting actual military people living today by getting too much of this wrong.

And so seeing those stats at AO3 really meant something to me. I know I don't write authentic action-orientated sci-fi military fiction. I know that. But I love the characters and I love seeing them in situations they wouldn't be in in canon and I can't even tell you why. But people have been reading my fics? At least, I hope the hits aren't coming from people passing the links around with a big ol' ZOMG, please don't ever write Halo like THIS IDIOT, okay??? attached to them. 🤞😣🤞😉

This sounds pretty silly seeing it written down like this. I know, it's like, Get over yourself, Ais, not everything is about you! But I've been really struggling to get to the root of my writer's block so I could figure out what's keeping me from finishing my WIPs. And seeing those stats tonight and realizing how many more times my Halo fics seem to have been read over my other fandoms...?

Well, that might only mean that Halo is just the more popular fandom right now and it's nothing more than that. But it's nice to think that, even though there are people out there who think somebody unqualified like me shouldn't be posting their ridiculous little stories, maybe there are other people who've enjoyed them, even as unauthentic as they are?

I dunno. Food for thought.

I'm hoping this will inspire me to at least finish up the next chapter for "15 Minutes." 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Thanks for reading. *hugs* to you if you've ever or are currently struggling with anything like this. Tell your stories, they're worth it. I believe in you. 🤗🤗🤗

I just need to try harder to believe in myself, hm? 🤔

PS - I've gotten SO MANY wonderful comments on my Halo fics, so why is it that the hate that might not even have been meant for me is so much louder in my head and crowds the nice comments out? I hate that, I truly do. 😖

[freebooter4ever]

.