#sometimes I forget I did minor in it though!!!! me suddenly remembering | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lemongingerart · 1 year ago

Text

Hi Peb, responding to your 'get help'!

(((I made a separate post for several reasons. Lately, if I reblog something with extra content, it's just ignored. Also, this content has dirt on it. Lemons. NSFW. I wanted you to choose whether or not you want to be associated with it and how you want to get the tags right 😅))))

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through tough times! How is it that bad things always seem to happen simultaneously? I certainly feel you on the first topic though, right now I'm under a pile of blankets with covid as well. Tough mf.

We all sometimes need a pat on the back (or a bottle of red wine to share 🥲) so I do like this idea and dug through my Hux x OC fic for something shareable (because in all honesty that's the only content I have 🙃)

So… have this partially unfinished and unreviewed smutty chapter, that I won't be publishing this year anyway, because it’s so far up my fic no one will remember I shared this today 😅

(Oh stars, I think this is the first time I'm putting smut out in the open, and it's not even romantic, it's pure horny filth mainly for the ginger general's pleasure … but I'm too exhausted from corona to care 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️ )

Tagging the moots, in case they're horny for Hux: @liminalpebble, @mylifeisactuallyamess , @morby - let me know if you want in

Wourd count: about 2 500

Tags/warnings: Hux POV, in universe but kind of AU if you read this separately, established relationship, Hux x female!OC (called Miko), hints of dom/sub relationship, boobs, dry humping maybe?, oral (m!receiving), a shoe.

Let me know what I forgot, because I most certainly did forget something (hence, corona)

'H, we got an issue on the eastbound production line' Miko said, barging into his office and suddenly standing next to his desk.

Armitage skeptically looked up from his datapad, not amused by her lack of discipline. Still… he thought he would never have to admit it, but he was getting slightly used to it. The annoyance towards her unprofessional behavior had dwindled, now only a minor hindrance and thus making him able to focus on the reason she stumbled inside his office in the first place.

"Lieutenant, at ease." He said, although it wasn’t like she was standing straight up anyway. "Please explain. Slowly. "

Miko nodded, but the way she pulled up her eyebrow made it clear she wasn't having any of it. Stars, each time she was besting his authority she was encouraging him to find ways to fuck her and he wondered if she was doing it on purpose or even by reflex.

She swiftly provided him with an overview of various calculations, clearly visualized on her datapad, while she was elaborating on the numbers with her usual passionate style.

Hux didn't hear what she was saying though. Although he was watching her lip movements closely. And the way her chest heaved when she took a breath in between her rambling. Hmm, he'd love to free up some time in his busy schedule to open the clasps of that uniform and feel how warm and pliable her breasts feel today.

Miko stopped her exposition. "You aren't listening, are you." She stated, setting up a pouting face and her right hand on her hip. He knew her enough to assume that the disappointment was at least exaggerated, at best staged. He also knew how to turn that disappointment into something much more pleasant.

"You’re distracting me, Lieutenant. " Miko turned a quarter when she laid down the datapad before him. She switched hands, planting her knuckles on her other hip. She frowned. "Distracting you? This is kind of urgent, otherwise I wouldn't barge into your office and disturb your heavily stuffed planning like this." He could swear she was mocking him now.

She sighed, waving her free hand towards the datapad on the table and ticking on the graphs. While doing so, she leaned on his desk and he could smell the champoo on her hair - of course she wasn't using the regulated one - and a hint of the tea they shared this morning.

"Still, you know what your lack of manners and disrespect do to me." He hissed, turning his desk chair and sliding her way. Miko looked back to him in bewilderment. Did she really not expect him to make a remark like this? She frowned for a second.

"Apologies, sir, for speaking before my time. " she then quietly said, blushing and turning her gaze towards the ground. He didn’t miss the flicker in her eyes, though, signaling Hux she was more than happy to play along. Stars, he never was sure if she did these things on purpose in the first place.

He did want to get that uniform open now, just a little bit to feel if he could make her moan with one hand in, kneading her tits and making her nipples get stiff between his fingers.

Outstretching his right leg, he locked his foot behind the back of Miko’s knee, coercing her to come closer. Hux hips had sunken more towards the end of the chairs seating now, making him lay back a bit. She followed his unspoken directions with baby steps, the closer she got the more blush apparent on her cheeks.

As she was standing in between his legs now, he raked his long fingers over the side of her figure. He could spot how she pulled in her lower lip, biting it as if it could stop her from breathing heavily, betraying she needed his touch.

He chuckled, he deeply appreciated the way she played her part right now. It was still a mystery to him how she could just… be who she was to him.

"I'm not sure if I can just accept those apologies. But I am in a good mood. Can your eastbound issue wait for another 15 minutes?" Miko only nodded. "Good. Because I'm going to solve another problem first." He whispered, pulling her closer by the neck clasp of the uniform. She had to bend her knees forward and he made sure her upper legs reached the chair, right before the center of his pants. The next friction created by her leg moving was no coincidence though, it made it clear to him she was aware of the boner in his pants and how she was more than willing to do something about it.

But first, he wanted to open up that uniform just enough to see her nipples come out and give them some of his treatment, while still some of the skin remained locked in fabric.

He pulled her closer even more, planting a kiss on her lips, the kind of kiss that is making her want more by the way she tries to pull on his lips. But he wasn’t going to give her those yet. He still had a firm grip on the collar, making sure she couldn’t steal away any extra kisses. The soft but needy complaining sound that escaped her lips, made him chuckle.

His other hand found a way to the clips of the uniform, expertly opening it up from under the collar to right under her breasts. Keen on reaching his target, he slipped his hand inside, pulling up the tank top she was wearing underneath. Still holding her by the collar and enjoying the way she looked bothered and desperate for another kiss, he cupped her left breast, fingers sliding between the fabric of her bra and her warm skin. The way they moved made him knead them a single time, before pulling down the bra and exposing her skin to the cold air.

Seeing her facial expression change to something even more needy, almost animal like, was his new favorite thing. While he was most certainly doing this for himself, pleasing her always gave him that extra rush to the head. Lately, in the afterglow, it made him realize that he would do anything to keep her by his side.

He repeated the process on the right side, this time taking in how both tits looked out in the open and if it was matching his recent visualization. Gods, he loved the sight of how tense they stood, all restrained through the fabric and the cold air. Matching the pout on her face.

He pulled her closer by the collar again, contemplating if he should kiss that cute pout from her face or not. Her feigned disapproval had proven to give him more inspiration before.

"H., s-sir… we really do have an issue in the eastbound.." she breathed into his ear, stopping mid-sentence due to the soft pinch he performed on her nipples. While he should probably credit her for not leaving out a sound, he relished in how he could control her like that.

He pushed her back, letting her neck go, making her stand up so he could appreciate the sight. The minute he saw realisation dawn on her features, she became to blush even more. "Lieutenant, how come that you always have such a lood mouth, but somehow this is the only way I can make you feel-"

BLIEP, the comm on the desk did, making Hux snap out of it and Miko have the strangest reflex he ever saw in a human: she dived right onto the floor, hiding from the visual receptors of the holocomm device. Hux sighed, turned his chair towards his desk and pressed the accept button to answer the call. He had made it clear he only wanted to be interrupted for urgent matters only, so he could not ignore the call.

"Better be something important, Captain." He started with a snide. He could hear Miko giggle from beside him and he almost rolled his eyes.

The problem with captain Gavin is that he thinks every gossip that happened in his department was of utmost importance. Another problem is that Hux, while higher in ranks, could not simply replace him yet. Drawbacks of running a mid-sized business compared to a complete fleet.

He sighed, annoyance apparent on his face, but still having a hard dick under the desk and a Lieutenant on all fours, tits out, next to him.

He subtly rolled his desk chair to Miko’s side, sliding his foot towards her and halting it right in front of her. He then moved his toes upwards twice, the leather of the boot making a scratching sound, to signal her to come closer. He saw her nodding in the crook of his sight, eyes wide, expressing she got the message. On hands and knees, she silently started crawling towards his foot. While Hux feigned interest in Gavin, he reached further and lower with his leg, the calf of his foot first touching her right boob, then making her crawl closer even more until he could settle his foot in between her legs.

Making sure her head remained under the line of sight from the desk, he turned back in forward position so she slided on his foot, under the desk. "Captain, explain to me why you're not wasting my time.", he asked the holo. Said captain resumed his reasoning while Hux tried to remain as boring looking as ever, while stars he could feel her grind on his shoe right now.

If there was something he really wanted to see, it was the sight of his favorite Lieutenant (the only Lieutenant he favored), half naked but still in uniform, riding his shoe and enjoying it very much. Sadly, he couldn't afford looking down right now, so he just had to imagine her boobs bouncing, her pants getting soaked and the leather of his shoe getting stained. He'll wear the mark throughout the remainder of the day with pride, something his old self would forsake him for.

Gah, he needed some depressurising for himself, and resume with what he had in mind before he got the holocall.

He subtly brought his hand down, fingers stretching and probing for contact with the only person he could trust down there. Almost immediately, he found her hair and pulled it closer in between his legs. That was enough for her to interpret the silent order correctly and get to work on his belt, all the while Gavin rattled about modulators and wrong versions and disgraces and what not.

Hux wasn't sure his face remained stoic the moment she slowly licked the head of his dick, making sure no precum got spilled. What he was sure of though, is that his right leg bumped the underside of the durasteel desk as if it was hit by lightning. That would sting later.

She had pleased him with blowjobs before, so the sensation itself wasn't new, although each time it felt as heavenly as before. That's why he knew she was taking whatever she would get, the wretched woman loved to turn him inside out whenever she could.

But this setting, with Miko under a table and he himself having to concentrate on acting like he was interested in captain chippy? That was completely new and more of a challenge than he had anticipated.

When he felt her make little circles with her tongue, obviously having fun and trying extra hard to make sure he won't forget this particular session, he automatically clenched his fists. He pulled her hair, and she took the action as encouragement, taking him in her mouth completely and slowly sinking down towards the base. Fearing this would be too much to handle all the while making the holocall, he brought his free hand up before his mouth, trying to hide the scowl that was forming. When she reached her limit, she started to go up again, sucking with all might and making him see stars. As soon as he felt the turn in her movement on his cock, he commenced curling his fingers and pressing his fist against his lips, to make sure he wouldn't start panting in front of the camera.

Soon, she started pumping his dick, following the rhythm she knew he enjoyed all too well, and he had to stop his hips from tensing and stretching. By a thousand suns, why was she so good at this?

"General, I'm sorry to disturb you, but have you seen Lieutenant Ylena? We have an issue in the eastbound sector and she wanted to be informed of the process." Sergeant K interrupted captain Gavin during his boring plea. Hux had to focus on the conversation again, now that two of his subordinates were in view of the holo. A daunting task considering how much underpressure she was putting on his cock right now - he could imagine the dimples in her cheek. Oh frack, he needed to answer now, so he pulled her still with the grip he still had on her scalp. Miko immediately stopped, but didn't let him go though, applying the littlest of pressure and letting him know that this game works both ways.

Hux sighed and answered the men in the holo: "I've just heard her, she's on her way up to me for some other matter. I'll send her over once I'm done with her."

Shit, she was definitely chuckling on his dick now. Then, she started doing little short sucking motions on the head of his cock, sending him to new heights. This conversation had to come to an end now.

"Captain, sergeant, I propose we end this debate right now and I will see to it that Lieutenant Ylena will be at your department as soon as she can," he blurted out, way too fast for his doing but he just needed to close the communication line and stop her from using her mouth and driving him to his peak so soon. In the meanwhile, he had come up with other plans.

He pressed a button and the holo disappeared. Now that he could move more freely, he brought his other hand down and stroked her filled mouth: "Shush, I still want you on the desk my little Lieutenant." He said with a crooked smile while pulling her back from his cock at her hair. "Get up while I lock the door. This time I will not be disturbed while I make you feel exactly how hard you made it for me. "

#general hux smut #general hux x oc #armitage hux fanfic #general hux x you #star wars fanfiction #lemon #generalginger #this is my username for a reason #I'm kind of anxious right now though

17 notes · View notes

hismercytomyjustice · 5 months ago

Text

\o/ Yay, went to piano today and didn’t want to die after, despite forgetting to not taking my extra anxiety meds!

Take THAT, bitch-ass OCD!

…just kidding, please don’t return with a vengeance…

I’m still so annoyed that my OCD has latched onto my piano lessons in particular, but yay progress?

We are allowed to feel negative feelings AND practice self-compassion.

My teacher was telling me about how his ridiculously strict teacher as a kid used to make him cry after his lessons. And I went for full honesty and was like “Oh I want to cry after some of ours, not because of you though!”

I didn’t tell him it was specifically because of OCD, but I did tell him some of my OCD spiral thoughts like, “Why don’t you understand this? Why can’t you do this? You played violin for over a decade, didn’t you? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Definitely felt the OCD rear up when I was making mistakes today, but managed to power through it without spiraling!

At home, I can practice without panicking or spiraling or my brain shutting off. The second I’m in that room though? Hoo boy! Probably doesn’t help I got into an OCD spiral over even debating about taking lessons in the first place!

“You didn’t practice enough in school or when getting your music minor. You’re going to waste the teacher’s valuable time. You’re going to take a lesson spot from a student who will actually practice, and that makes you a bad person. You’re too lazy to learn piano. You barely remember anything from when you took it in college because you can’t commit to anything and you didn’t practice enough. What would your grandparents think about the fact you rarely play the violin they bought you? Especially since your grandma loved it so much that you played? You never finish anything. Why are you even bothering to learn it? You’re a music fraud and everyone knows it and judges you for it.”

BUT!!! after I told my teacher how fucked up lessons leave me sometimes, he said the nicest and most poignant fucking thing???

“You feel like that because you care about it.”

And I just… It blew my mind? My therapist is gonna LOVE this later this week. Like legitimately love this.

Of course I care about it. Why would I be doing it if I didn’t? I love music. It’s how I got tricked into getting the minor in the first place. Why would I be so upset about all of the above if I didn’t give a shit about it?

Because OCD latches onto a kernel of truth or self-belief and distorts it until it becomes a fucking anxiety inducing nightmare.

I care about music and learning to play and being a good student. I care about it SO MUCH. Which is why my OCD has a fucking field day with it. Because it burrows in to every insecurity I have about it and tries to turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy until I spiral to the point of turning a molehill into a mountain or until I just fucking avoid the thing all together *cough writing cough* because avoiding it like the plague means I spiral less because I’m avoiding exposing myself to the things that result in the worst spirals.

If I don’t write, I can’t spiral about how fucking awful of a writer I am, which is so much fucking worse. Instead I can spiral about how I never write, which is still miserable and leads to all kinds of guilt and frustration, but isn’t nearly as emotionally charged or upsetting.

My therapist has been trying to drum this lesson into me for weeks now. I know she has. But it didn’t fully click for me until my teacher said it. The person I’m so desperately afraid of failing and disappointing and wasting the time of effectively told me that he KNOWS I care about it.

Which suddenly makes me feel like I’m NOT wasting his time, I’m NOT a terrible student, I’m NOT lazy, and there IS hope for me. Because I care.

Yeah, I might not practice as much as I should or think I should or want to (though I actually have been practicing). But I’m still showing up for lessons every week and I’m still striving to do better.

Yeah, I didn’t practice like I should have in school or while getting my minor. But someone who doesn’t give a shit about music PROBABLY WOULDN’T FUCKING MINOR IN IT.

I was always passionate about the violin, even if my passion didn’t always translate into practicing as much as I should or felt I should. In retrospect, part of that was undiagnosed ADHD (HELLO OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS LIKE SIX FUCKING MONTHS AGO AND SUSPECTED ADHD AS OF ONLY LIKE 2-3 YEARS AGO). I was told I was good at the violin by the goddamn Distinguished Professor of Violin at my school, and I know he wasn’t just saying that. He wasn’t the type to just say stuff like that.

When I took my string quartet class, I got paired up with literally the best fucking students in our strings program. I got to play second violin for our performance of Dvorak’s String Quarter #12 (Mov. I), and it’s the hardest I ever worked on a piece and it will forever hold a special place in my heart because of all of that. I spent a lot of time convincing myself I only skated by in orchestra because I could hide under the other violinists for the parts I didn’t know or struggled with, but there’s not exactly anywhere to hide in a quartet. And I must have done well because I know for a fact the other three students (especially the VERY vocal violist) would’ve fucking murdered me if I hadn’t.

My confidence in my abilities was further reinforced by my piano teacher, who went to the same college as me (though later, he’s def younger than me by a few years). He told me by the time he was in the Symphony Orchestra at my school, he was frustrated because they kept getting told they couldn’t perform certain pieces because the string players couldn’t keep up. That was definitely not a problem when I was there. I’d argue it’s probably partly because of how much funding schools have cut when it comes to arts programs in general, but still. My high school and college conductors always strove to see how difficult of a piece they could throw at us.

My therapist has been telling me that so long as I’m showing up for my piano lessons, that’s the only real obligation I have and I’m meeting it and that’s okay. She’s also stressed quite a few times that this whole experience has been so distressing for me because I’m basically subjecting myself to some self-imposed exposure therapy.

I’ve spent so much time livid about how much my OCD has been acting up about this whole thing. Livid and embarrassed and frustrated because it’s fucking stupid. I am going to piano lessons as an adult by choice because I want to. So why the fuck is my brain trying to throw me into fight or flight over something people sign up their five year olds for??? It is not that serious.

I told my husband I could understand needing to take an anxiety med boost if I was scaling a sheer cliff or something. And he had the nerve to tell me “that’s kinda what this is for you.” (ಥ﹏ಥ) And he’s right and it was a very sweet thing to say, but it is so hard to actually believe it when I’m so fucking mad about my brain fighting me on this.

Also one of the most annoying fucking things about OCD is how if you were to introduce me to a person who was as close to being a clone of me without being an actual clone of me, I would be able to be so fucking nice and gentle and understanding with them. Hell, one of the most effective methods I’ve learned to combat an OCD spiral in the first place is “would you say the things you’re saying to yourself to someone else?”

Of-fucking-course-not! I’m not a goddamn monster! Those are horrible things to say, let alone think about another person and none of it’s true! They could come up to me and say the same fucking OCD thought spirals verbatim and I would have such a visceral reaction because “why would and how could you ever think something like that”? I would do everything in my power to reassure them and validate them and help them without a second thought because it’s not ridiculous and they’re not a failure and they’re clearly trying their best and they shouldn’t be so hard on themself.

But when it comes to myself?

Absolutely fucking not. All of that is 1000% true and, frankly, I’m being too nice to myself.

Oh, and NOT FUN FACT. This particular OCD spiral IS NOT AS FUCKING BAD compared to some of my other ones! I would label this maybe a 5 or maybe a 6 outta 10 on my personal OCD scale!

It’s fucking horrifying and terrifying all at once because I know it’s all irrational and there’s nothing I can fucking do to stop it except for working through it until it isn’t the goddamn boogeyman anymore.

Because if I don’t, I’m missing out on doing something I really enjoy and I’m denying a part of myself and I’m also potentially setting up dominos for a mental breakdown at some unknowable down the road (but damn if I won’t know it when I see it!).

All of this is to say that OCD fucking sucks and it fucking sucks to be fighting your own brain all day every day. But you have to and it gets easier with time (and sometimes you’re gonna backslide, especially when you’re stressed or burnt out).

And it’s just really fucking nice to see some actual progress for myself on this front. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

#hismercy’s musings #personal #ocd #actually ocd #mentally fucked #mental health #get thee behind me satan

2 notes · View notes

zerolostwalks · 2 years ago

Note

Oh hell, while I'm here. Trope bingo prompt almost/interrupted confession, rulie

Julie couldn’t wait to get to the combined kitchens and dining hall. The hard labor of tending the fields felt extra exhausting today. It probably had something to do with her most recent brush with death.

Sure she was mostly healed now, only some scarring and minor bruises left. But for the past month she hadn’t really been able to do much more than sleep. She couldn’t even comfortably walk on her own until a week ago.

“You ok?” Reggie asked, one of his hands came up to rest on her shoulder. A comforting weight and warmth she was accustomed to by now.

“I’m fine.” Julie said but as usual even the small lie was very noticeable even to her own ears. Reggie leveled her with the usual look he reserved for when he thought she was pushing herself too far.

“Why don’t you go sit down,” Reggie suggested, before she could say anything else, his look softened into a small smile. “I'll get us both some food? Ok?”

Julie really wanted to argue, but even if she had the energy for it Reggie didn’t give her the option. He spun her around towards the makeshift tables and ran off.

‘I don’t like him,’ Carrie snarked suddenly in the back of Julie’s mind as she sat them back in the corner where Julie always chose to sit.

‘What? Why? Not that long ago you were saying how good of a friend he is.’

‘Not like that, not like a friend. I meant like, how we like Nick.’

‘Why does that matter?’ Julie’s confusion at Carrie was drowned out by the subtle joy she felt seeing the return of Reggie’s bright smile as he happily chatted with Willie and Flynn who were tasked with running the kitchen today.

‘Because! Uuugh, I swear you are so dense sometimes.’

Julie tried to not roll her eyes at the statement. Half of what Carrie said never made any sense, at least initially. Almost like Carrie purposefully forgot Julie had exponentially less experience on earth and with humans than she did.

‘I don’t purposefully forget, you are just too naive for your own good. He is starting to act like he likes you, like Nick likes us-me. Likes me.‘

‘I highly doubt that,’ Julie grimaced at the frustration radiating off Carrie and building in the depths of their mind.

“Everything ok in there?” Reggie asked, wearing a bemused smile as he sat down, sliding Julie the usual bread roll and soup. He’d been one of the first to believe Carrie was still alive, one of the few that could tell when she was talking to Julie.

“Carrie’s frustrated.”

‘TELL HIM I DON’T LIKE HIM’

With an exasperated sigh Julie did as Carrie asked, only to be met by Reggie’s confused, furrowed brow.

“Wha? Why?” Reggie sputtered as he shook his head, like he was trying to shake his thoughts in order. “Where’d that come from?”

“Carrie thinks you like us.”

‘Not US, You.’

“She thinks you like me.” Julie corrected with another sigh and tore at her bread.

Reggie chuckled as he sat up straighter, “Well, of course I like you. You’re my friend.”

‘See?’ Julie threw the thought almost triumphantly toward Carrie.

‘No. He might be just as dense as you are or-’

‘How could someone not be aware of their own feelings?’ Julie interrupted Carrie, remembering how intense even just the memories of certain emotions could be. It didn’t seem feasible to not be aware of them.

‘A few months ago you didn’t know what jealousy was’

‘That’s different, I don’t know what a lot of feelings are. Surely he’d be able to tell something as intense as attraction’

‘You’d be surprised, everyone feels things differently. Plus, he might be fully aware and putting up a front.’

‘What does any of that mean?’

Carrie was interrupted again, this time by Reggie, though he didn’t know it. “She still frustrated?”

“She’s trying to convince me that you like me, like Nick likes her.” Julie mumbled, keeping her focus on her soup. “Which is ridiculous.”

“It is?”

“Of course it is.” Julie said with a shake of her head, “No one here could actually like me like that.”

Reggie went silent for a long moment, longer than he’d been around her in a long time. The silence was what made Julie finally look at him again. He was slouched over his food and avoided looking at her.

Something inexplicably twisted uncomfortably in her stomach even though she didn’t think she was sick.

The smug confidence Carrie had been radiating also shifted. There was more of that usual exasperation but it was laced with something, almost defensive. Or maybe it was aggressive?

Before Julie could even begin to sort through the emotional bombardment Reggie sat up straighter, face scrunched up in confusion and something else Julie couldn’t name, “wait, why?”

“What?” Julie was still distracted by the inner turmoil, not aided by Carrie’s sudden stubborn silence.

Reggie leaned forward, his food seemingly forgotten, “why do you think someone couldn’t like you like that?”

“Because,” Julie began, trying to find the correct words, “human attraction is so dependent on physical appearance. And this face, this body, it’s not mine. It's not me. It’s never been me and it’s never going to be me.

“But no one can separate us like that. Separate me from this appearance like that. So any attraction they might feel wouldn’t be for me. It’d be for this body.”

Reggie frowned and his hand slid the slightest bit closer to her before he pulled it back, “Hypothetically, what if someone could separate you like that?”

“Reggie,” Julie exhaled.

“Wait, just hear me out?” He waited for her to nod before he continued on. “Right, so as pretty as Carrie is. That’s not what makes you, you, right?”

Julie tried to push past the temperamental mix of emotions that washed over her and radiated off Carrie when he called her pretty, and focused on the words he was saying. Even if she wasn’t sure where he was going with them. “Right?”

“Right,” his grin was growing broader again, “For some people, looks aren’t what attracts them to a person. It’s the personality, or the bonds they build with somebody that sparks attraction.”

Julie chewed it over, “Ok, so in your hypothetical, this person isn’t attracted to appearance. So it wouldn’t matter what I looked like, even if I looked like Willie or even Magnolia?”

“Exactly,” he bounced slightly in his seat, “it doesn’t matter what you look like. It matters what kind of person you are. And you’re pretty amazing.”

“I’m not all that great.” Julie mumbled a little sardonically, which shocked Carrie and made Reggie deflate a little. “Besides, it doesn’t matter, because Carrie and I are trapped like this and your hypothetical person doesn’t exist.”

“Jul-”

“Reggie!” Luke’s voice rang out, drawing his and Julie’s attention to the entrance of the room where he stood frantically pointing at his wrist, “Dude, what are you doing?”

“Damn it,” Reggie muttered under his breath, before he turned back around with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, looks like I gotta go. We’ll talk more about this later, k?”

“Ok.” Julie tried her best to return his smile with a small nod and watched him run off, shoving as much of his bread roll in his mouth as he did so.

Carrie groaned, ‘You two are going to be absolutely insufferable soon, aren’t you?’

#julie and the phantoms fanfic #rulie #I debated for a bit if this even fits the trope #I'm still not sure so I may write a second prompt fill for this later #went and reread The Host this weekend and forgot how much I hated how parts of that book were handled like the ending #so have this spite fueled AU version?

12 notes · View notes

davekat-sucks · 2 years ago

Note

since this topic is making the rounds of controversy AGAIN I will confess something: i genuinely don't get how gamzee or damara are offensive, even though i am what the nu fandom would call a "poc" (hate that term, sounds stupid). i find damara relatable and hilarious as fuck even, and i love her design, she is obviously based on azula to accompany rufioh's dante basco reference; but suddenly my opinion and life experiences don't count or deserve to be heard because i don't agree with these americans with "white savior complex" as they call it? so hypocritical. and honestly i find all this "coding" shit people associate with gamzee despite him being based on fucking clown rappers to be the real racism. what, are people gonna tell me irl clowns are offensive too because they use poofy wigs and face paint? lets boycott ronald mcdonald too then, or ship him with gamzee, both work. #fuckclowns #clussy #gamzeexronaldmcdonaldSWEEP #shitsbetterthandavekatanyways

idk im just tired and i cant believe people are still fighting about this shit, if anything wouldn't that just prove that fandom activism amounts to nothing on the long run except alienation, sucking the joy out of everything and making people uncomfortable to create content for these characters and thus, ironically, giving minorities less representation? it's the circle of stupidity man

I don't think Damara is based on Azula. But more of people finding Aradia dressing in Asian attire like kimonos or cheongsam beautiful and would headcanon her to be Asian. Even if her first name is based on an work that are pagan text in found Italy and the last name based on a location in Israel that the Bible prophesizes that it will be the final battlefield for end times, people think Aradia as Asian was better. Anime on the rise probably added fuel to this. Nobody gave a shit about an Asian lady being a lower class because of the hemospectrum lowblood implications. And even if it did, people think it would be about her overcoming her high class rich oppressor. But then, people would be too focused on Condesce being black because of her being technically Meenah, showing that it was a BLACK WOMAN who started the oppression in the first place. No one gets mad that a black woman was trying to beat and kill an Asian woman. Asian people today in this modern era, may as well be white. And I'm Filipino, who may as well be leaned to white if don't agree with my white LGBT saviors. People being upset about Gamzee being black just because of his crazy messy hair style, people assume it was an AFRO. And I mean afro afro ROUND afro. Tell me, how is a messy unkempt hair style equal AFRO SO HE IS BLACK.

They might as well say bedhead hairstyles mean it is only for black people. While they forget black people aren't the only ones with afros. Do people accuse Bob Ross as black appropriation because he as an afro? NO! There are people, regardless of skin color, that have different hairstyles! Whether they are American, Mexican, etc!

I don't mind Damara being some Asian stereotype. In fact, as a Filipino, I find it funny! My parents would joke themselves of eating dogs and it is still funny to them! Her being a bitchy slutty Asian girl is fine! Isn't her role of working for the bigger bad cool enough or complex that she would go through this lengths to get back at her bully interesting? I guess not to others. Sometimes people who have been depicted as Asian with some joke or vague stereotype attached them, approved of being shown like this! Remember that Asian guy in Courage the Cowardly Dog that says "WATCH WHERE YOU GOIN' YA FOOL!" The creator based it on a RL friend he knew. And that Real Life friend gave his OWN VOICE for it too that we hear today. He didn't mind and actually approves of this character! He would later to go on to voice him in episodes that star him too! And there are people like dumb YouTubers who talk about cartoons, think it is racist, when it is NOT! It's like they assume Trey Parker and Matt Stone pointed a gun at Isaac Hayes to let his voice stay for black racist jokes, when it's not the case and he know what he was going into and didn't mind it! Him drawing the line at mocking Sciencetology is not the same as him thinking he hated all the black jokes he had to deal with in South Park. Can we just go back to letting people headcanon a character whatever they want? If someone wants to blackwash Tom from Eddsworld despite the character being a white British man? Fine. If people wanted to draw the Homestuck kids as anime characters with light skin? It's fine too. Let people do whatever the fuck they want. If someone wants to draw the characters as they appeared in the series, it's fine too! Nobody is racist or homophobic or anything for liking a character a different way! I don't need some bitch with multiple pronouns and LGBT flag emojis on their profile to tell me that my Asian depictions in Hollywood and TV shows are bad or limited. I find more representation in ANIME than there. And if they say "THERE ARE NO PINOYS OR PHILIPPINE CHARACTERS IN HOLLYWOOD OR MAINSTREAM MEDIA!" All I got to say is, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I just want to see if my anime, manga, video game, TV show, comic, movie, etc is enjoyable and has cool characters. I don't care about the skin or ethnicity. I want to see them go through cool shit! And when there is a rare moment of one making a decent series, nobody props them up for their originality. They rather care about a raceswapped modern updated version of Superman than something actually new! I don't see people praising Trese as a step for Philippines in comic industry after it got a Netflix Adaption. Raya and the Last Dragon was the better one because of the vague Southeast Asian Disney princess compared to a badass woman killing monsters!

Modern fandom culture is a poison and I desperately want it gone. But it's gonna be years before that will happen. It started to seep in 2014-16 and doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon in the 2020s.

#fandom #fandoms #Homestuck fandom #Homestuck #Gamzee Makara #Damara Megido #modern fandom #nu-fandom #nu fandom

7 notes · View notes

hansensgirl · 4 years ago

Text

baby, but you.

summary. | He hopes you can feel it, because nobody else can heal it but you. Baby, but you.

warnings. | smut, hate fucking (ish), enemies to lover, slight angst, birthdays, degradation, praise, spitting, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, rough sex, yearning, crushing, riding, couch sex, breeding, possessiveness, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI AND DO NOT REPOST MY STORIES.

word count. | 3.6k

pairings. | Bucky Barnes x Reader.

a/n. | happy birthday @asadmarveltrashbag ilysm!!! thank you so much for being there for me since like day one, for being such a good role model and for just being amazing. thank you so much for listening to me rant and giving me advice, i’m so grateful for you. i hope your birthday is amazing today, i love you so much!! don’t forget to reblog! if you take ANY inspiration from my fics (and i’ll know, trust me) and you don’t give credit, you will be blocked and i’ll let others know.

He stands afar from you. A cold, calculated stare that you’re almost tempted to challenge with your killer one. There are only about two and a half meters of space separating you two, and even that’s not enough. You’re like a cat and a dog, constantly fighting about God knows what. Sometimes it’s the stupidest of things; other times, it’s the most reasonable. Either he has the television on too loud, or you come home too late. The other neighbours… Well, frankly, they don’t live here anymore.

It’s because they can’t handle his screaming when he has nightmares. You scoffed when you first heard it from your landlord, finding it absolutely insane that nobody is used to the sounds of a nightmare. As if they’re any better. You handle it like a champion, simply just putting on earbuds and your favourite songs at the lowest volume until you fall asleep. You almost feel bad for him when you see him with deep bags under his eyes.

But one short, snarky remark from him has the sympathy in you draining. Almost like the way his hands are the palest colour ever, and his skin doesn’t have the redness it should have. Almost as if the colours on a painting have been scraped off. You shouldn’t be noticing these things, really, but you just can’t help it. He’s almost a shell of the man he once was, at least in his words, but you believe that with some care (not from your hands, ew), he’ll be back to normal.

He shouldn’t notice the way you sigh every time you get home. The way you drag yourself through the carpeted hallway, out from the metal box that Bucky doesn’t trust. He doesn’t charge anything that has to do with heights, so that’s why he’s settled for the second floor. The drop in his stomach brings back so many memories that he can’t bear to remember.

Sometimes, he picks up the rumble of your stomach that he knows you’re embarrassed about, only because when it happens, you become the most fearful sailor to ever cross the shore. You always arrive right before Bucky falls asleep, leaving him at peace. ...No, no, no. It’s not like that. He totally doesn’t wait up until you come home safely before he can actually fall asleep so he can have a sense of calm. No, that’s absurd. Another absurd thing is the ungodly hour that you arrive home.

“Listen, you’re the one who bumped into me, okay? Let’s just leave it at that,” you huff, swinging your keychain between your fingers. Your digits are so soft, only ever coarse when you touch the skin between them. His hands, however, are almost the opposite. They’re rough and dry, but the crevices are a bit damp with sweat from pure nervousness. “No, no, you bumped into me, and we’re going to leave it at that, okay? Okay,” he nods, even though he’s talking to you.

“No, you bumped into me, and that’s that. Goodbye, Mr. Barnes,” you finish, throwing your bag over your shoulder and stomping down the hallways. You don’t look back once, simply just strutting your way to that darned elevator that you loathe. Suddenly, a hand wraps around your arm and turns you around. “I didn’t say you could go; we’re not done until I say we’re done,” he growls, gripping your arm tight enough to have you whimpering.

“No, fuck you. I’m tired of constantly listening to you bitch and moan about things that aren’t even my fault. God, it’s like you’re twenty fucking years old with no maturity, it’s fucking pathetic,” you spit, trying to yank your arm away. But compared to a supersoldier, your strength is equal to a cool spring breeze hitting a concrete building—basically nothing. Bucky’s chest heaves, and for a moment, you’re scared.

But even though he has a temper, he could never hurt you. He’s not the Winter Soldier; you’re sure of it.

His jaw clenches, and you stare at him intensely. Work is long forgotten, just like the fact that today is your birthday. That nervous, jittery feeling that would pool in the pits of your soul isn’t there. You wonder if it’s because you’re all grown up now, or maybe it’s because you’ve been so busy that your birthday seems like any other day in your eyes. Your eyes fall to his lips, almost on instinct. They’re pink and plump, slightly damp from the wetness on his tongue.

He gently pushes you inside his home, and you stumble back in shock. “I have to go to work–” you start, but he cuts you off. “I don’t give a shit. I need to teach you a lesson,” he snaps, pulling off his leather jacket. It has blue hues to it, sometimes grey if shone under the correct lighting. It’s overall black, suiting that dark soul of his that some people claim he has. You keep your mouth shut, clutching onto the strap of your backpack that rests on your right shoulder.

Suddenly, that fiery haze of yours has faded out, and you just watch him dumbfounded. Your jaw is slightly slack, but your eyes aren’t bulging out. Bucky pulls off the unusual leather gloves that always seemed to be a little too big on him. The space between his fingers and the cloth is always too much, and you even contemplated ‘accidentally’ giving him a new, better-fitting pair.

They flop onto the floor with an almost laughable sound, but you know you shouldn’t even dare to crack a smile. “Always going on and on about something. You just need to be shut up for once, don’t you?” Bucky questions, snapping his head towards you. “N- No…” you whisper, looking down to the ground. Suddenly, you prefer looking at wood floors to handsome men such as Bucky.

“Oh… Right, I forgot. You don’t know what’s good for you, that’s why you go to work and come home so late in the night. Bet you don’t have any time to fuck around with those pathetic twenty-year-old douchebags. That’s why you touch that little pussy of yours before you head to work, right?” he questions, and you gulp thickly.

Did he really hear it all?

“Please, I heard the way you finger fuck yourself in the shower all the way here. You really need to learn how to properly lock your door. You’re lucky those old ladies were here when I heard you, or else I would’ve come all the way over there and taught you a real good lesson,” he snaps, and you genuinely feel like doubting every little thing you do. “And you know what’s so funny, doll? I even hear the way you moan my name when you’re about to come,” he whispers, standing so close to you, and you wonder how he even managed to get here.

Your faces are inches away, His warm breath fans against your skin, and Bucky can feel the nervousness seeping through your pores. “Need a refresher? Or are you just going to stay quiet?” he questions, raising his eyebrows. He has a stupid smile on his face, and you’re not sure whether you want to kiss him or slap him. Both seem very appealing, but God, that devil on your shoulder always did have a loud voice.

Your bag joins his gloves on the floor, and you tilt your head upwards to kiss him. Your lips slowly slot against his, the taste of stale coffee immediately fills your mouth as Bucky shoves his tongue past your lips. He cups the side on your face, and your hands remain bent in the air. You don’t know what to do with yourself, so you place them on his shoulders, hoping for the best. He tenses up for a bit, and you start to pull away.

He doesn’t let you go too far. His hands keep you near him, and he stares into your eyes. Blue, blown-out orbs give Bucky an even darker look, and you’re practically sailing the same ship. “Don’t… Don’t go,” he whispers, leaning his forehead against yours. “I won’t, but-” you begin, but he cuts you off with an open-mouthed kiss. It’s so rough, so passionate. Teeth and tongues clash at each other, and you whimper against him as his hands move from your face.

They run down your body before gripping your hips and pulling you closer to him. His front presses against yours, and you can feel his defined muscles through that black t-shirt of his. You wrap your arms around his neck, such a simple act and yet he’s swooning like the lovesick fool he is. No, no, no, he’s not lovesick, and he’s not swooning. He’s just wanting, and that is all, just like you are.

You roll your hips for friction, desperate for something. The faint feeling of Bucky’s hard cock sends shivers down your spine, and you just know he’s huge. He could probably split you in two if he really wants to, and maybe it’s what you want as well. God, just the mental image of his cock sliding in and out of you is so pleasurable. Wetness soaks your panties, and you moan into his mouth.

“Say ‘ah,’ slut,” he mumbles before pulling away from the kiss again. You quickly do so and watch as Bucky puckers his bruised, red lips. You’re not sure what to expect; a stupid, silly kiss or something else. Your tongue is stretched out inside your mouth, and you wait for him as your chest rises and falls. Your eyes watch him as he spits into your mouth, a wad of spit dripping onto your tongue and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets.

You quickly swallow it as if it’s some sort of antidote to an incurable disease. “Oh, you’re such a dirty fucking girl, aren’t you? I bet you’d let me do anything to you, right? Let me fuck you silly, throw you around, treat you like the spoiled brat you are,” Bucky growls with a fierce smirk on his stupidly gorgeous face. Sculpted by the Gods themselves, you wonder why the world has been so mean to him.

No, no, no, you don’t. You’re just desperate and needy.

“You really are stupid, and I haven’t even touched that little pussy of yours yet, and you can’t even answer a simple li’l question,” Bucky says out loud, expressing pure shame and disgrace. You shake your head before placing your hands back on his hard, defined chest. There’s a specific spot on his chest where the fabric is too sheer. You can see the way his soft hair has been shaved down to a mere stubble, and you wonder what he’d look like if it was grown out.

“I- I’m a dirty girl, I’d let you do anything to me, James,” you whisper to him, looking up at him with unintentional doe eyes. “I know, baby, I know,” he smirks before pushing you backwards. You expect to collide with the wooden floors harshly and startle the downstairs residents, or maybe even on a carpet that would try to break your fall but would end up failing.

You don’t expect to fall back onto a soft, cushioned couch. It’s more so an armchair that is a greyish-blue colour, one that you’d see and Ikea and want so bad, but you’d quickly change your mind once you see the whopping price it’s set at. Bucky towers over you, and you tilt your head up, still watching has the features of his face twitch a bit. His hands run down to your thighs, smoothing over the fabric of your jeans before his nimble yet strong, thick fingers reach to the button and zipper.

He makes quick work of stripping your clothes off for you, and you try your hardest to do the same for him. But flying, clashing hands that are oh so desperate can’t really do much. So as he pulls your wet panties down your feet, you hurriedly kick them to the floor. Bucky pulls his shirt over his head, and you’re not sure if you’ve lost it or if time truly has slowed down. You’re able to memorize each freckle, each scar, each mole and each muscle of his upper body.

He’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Though everyone has their measly little flaws that can be so bothersome, in your eyes, he has no flaws. “Fuck, you’re so fucking pretty, baby,” he breathlessly tells you, making you struggle to fight the cheerful smile that forces its way onto your face. “You’re pretty too, James,” you tell him, reaching backwards to unclasp your bra.

Now, there’s nothing special about it, really. It’s plain black, and in some areas, it physically pains you, leaving branded marks behind that feel good when you gently run your hands over them. Nonetheless, you look gorgeous with it on. But when it’s on the floor, treated like nothing, you’re even more beautiful. Your slick has stained your inner thighs with stickiness, and your clit throbs with need.

Bucky parts your legs, watching as strings of wetness pull apart from each other. “Fucking hell, is that all because of me, slut? Say it, tell me who you’re so wet for,” he demands, and your breathing hitches. “S’all for you, James, I’m so wet because of you,” you whisper to him, and he smirks devilishly. You clench around nothing but air, desperate for his cock to be inside you. “I want you so bad, James, please fuck me,” you beg to him desperately, and he chuckles.

Bucky goes to start taking off his pants, unbuckling his belt and pulling down the zipper that sometimes gets caught onto the fabric of his boxers a little too much. The black fabric slips off his skin like an extra layer of skin, and the sight of his hard cock beneath his briefs is so sexy. You let out a shaky breath, and you can just see how fucking huge he is. Impossibly long with a thickness that’ll leave you limping for at least a week or two.

“You know what’s so fucking hilarious, baby? Just moments ago, you were cursing me out, fuming at me and calling me pathetic, but look at you; you’re the pathetic one here. Practically drooling for my cock, so needy as soon as I put my hands on you,” Bucky scoffs, and you know he’s so right. He pulls down his boxers, and you watch as his cock springs out, slapping his lower abdomen and near his pretty Adonis bone.

He roughly pulls you up and sits down on the couch before dragging you onto his lap. You straddle the sides of his thick thighs, and his big cock presses right next to your pussy, between your legs. Beads of precum drip down the shaft of his cock, and some of it even sticks to your skin. “You want my cock, baby? Well, go ahead, you can have it,” he tells you, resting his hands on your hips.

You exhale nervously, knowing that his cock is gonna stretch you out so much, it’ll be borderline painful and pleasurable. You lift your hips up a bit, and Bucky’s hand grasps the base of his cock. He’s sticky and pulsating, a raging red that is almost purple if you squint your eyes enough. He drags it from your swollen little pearl all the way down to your drooling hole. The mild friction is absolutely amazing, making you moan softly.

Bucky shudders as he slowly pushes the tip of his cock inside of you. He almost wants to tease you so badly, make you beg for it until you’re sobbing and going all ditzy for him. But he’s not all the mean, and he can’t possibly be so cruel to the birthday girl. In one swift motion, Bucky pulls you down onto his cock, burying himself inside of you. You toss your head back and cry out as he stretches you painfully. The wet squelching pounds of your pussy are loud, but your moans are much louder.

He curses and bites down on his bottom lip, falling in love with the way your pussy hugs him tightly and the velvet feeling of your walls. No, no, no, he is not falling in love. He’s just desperate, that’s all. It takes you both a few seconds to adjust, and the painful stretch dulls down to immense pleasure. You struggle to control your breathing, though, because you’ve never taken anyone or anything as big and him. Months of wanting and needing him have finally come down to this, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

He hopes you can feel it because nobody can heal it but you. Every single day he thinks about you, and his heart hurts. His heart hurts when he watches you leave and come home, it hurts when you both fight, and it hurts when he believes you could never love him. His mind still tells him that, and yet here you are, riding his cock on your birthday. He notices the way your bottom lip wobbles a bit, and he pities you.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby, you’re doing so good. Ride my cock, birthday girl, I know you can do it,” Bucky praises with the most innocent smile ever. You nod your head and slowly begin to rock your hips, moving them up and down his cock. Bucky is torn; he doesn’t know whether he should stare at your pretty face or at where you’re both connected. Your slick coats his cock and leaves it glistening, and he watches as it disappears and reappears over and over.

His hand returns back onto your hips, and he gently guides you up and down his cock. Your pained whimpers soon turn to loud, slutty, desperate moans, and Bucky begins to fuck up into your cunt, meeting you at every thrust. “Fuck, yeah, that’s my good girl. Riding my cock so fucking good,” Bucky coos, and you can’t help but giggle. Warmth fills your chest, and pleasure blooms immensely in your core, and it’s the exact same for Bucky.

His balls slap against your ass, and his cock drives in and out of you. You ride him at a quicker pace, moaning loudly, and he nudges against your sweet spot. “You look so fucking sexy riding my cock, baby. Could watch you forever an’ ever,” Bucky purrs, gripping your hips even tighter. Electricity crackles up your spine, almost like a burning wire in a destroyed fuse box. Everything is so sensitive, and the searing pleasure builds up inside the two of you.

Beads of sweat drip down your neck, and it is the same for Bucky. His skin shines just like his cock does, and the veins on the side of it throb with every movement. The wet noises and the sound of skin on skin fills the room almost impressively. The neighbours would’ve already filed noise complaints if they still lived here, but they don’t. So Bucky’ll fuck your brains out until you can’t make a sound.

“Fuck, you’re close, aren’t you? Can feel the way that nice little cunt is squeezin’ my cock,” he groans, staring up at you with his jaw slightly slacked. Your eyes have glazed over, and you stare at Bucky’s face. You ride him using his dick for all your needs and wants. It’s just like you’ve imagined, even down to the pleasure you’re feeling. “Mhm, gonna come all over your big cock,” you whimper at a specific thrust.

And he’s close too. Though the serum should make him last longer, your pussy just defies those rules. He fucks into you faster and rougher, and your legs have turned to jelly. You collapse onto his chest and let him pound your pussy into oblivion. Bucky’s chest rumbles with a chain of moan and curses, and you look up at him. His metal arm is icy cold, just like his eyes. But his orbs are darker than regular ice. They resemble black ice more than anything.

The elastic band in your stomach twists up tightly until it can’t do anything but snap. And so it does. The dam breaks, and you’re suddenly coming around Bucky’s cock. Your cum coats his cock and drips down his balls as your body seizes up. Your jaw falls open, and your eyes roll back while you moan loudly. “Fuck, you look so pretty when you come,” Bucky breathes, letting your head fall into the crook of his neck.

You cry out loudly as Bucky sloppily fucks you through your orgasm and chases his own. “I’m gonna fill you up with my cum, knock you up with my kids. Fuck, you’d look so hot with a bump, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of your body,” he moans deeply, feeling his balls tighten up. He tosses his head back and curses, hitting his release. Ropes of cum shoot inside your cunt, painting your walls and even leaking out a bit. Somewhere, deep down inside Bucky, he truly hopes it sticks.

He moans loudly as his hips give a few shallow thrusts, prolonging his orgasm. You both sigh, slick with sweat and other bodily fluids that neither of you cares about. “Happy birthday…” Bucky whispers, pressing a kiss on the side of your head. “T- Thank you… How’d you know, though?” you question, even though his cock is still inside you. “Just did… Listen, I’m sorry–” he starts, but you cut him off. “Shh, I don’t care about anything but you, baby,” you tell him, whispering gently.

“Baby, but you.”

4K notes · View notes

moonlit-reveriee · 3 years ago

Text

Baby Blue

technoblade x fem!reader

concept: techno is scared of ‘corrupting’ the reader, but the reader’s kinda into it...

content warning // NSFW, virgin!reader, very minor angst?, small argument that gets resolved

listen to this while you read: BBBlue (Single) by Olivver the Kid

(this fic was heavily inspired by the lyrics of this song, so i highly recommended giving it a listen!)

───※ ·❆· ※───

When Techno found out you were a virgin, he was terrified. Not necessarily of the thought itself, but of the implications.

He’d never forget the look on your face when you told him. You tried to be casual about it, but he knew you well enough to spot the dusting of pink across your cheeks. You nuzzled yourself closer into his side. Whether out of embarrassment or something else entirely, he couldn’t tell. All he could feel was his heart dropping as the voices chanted at him to “ruin her”

Of course you, his pure sweet angel, would be a virgin. He once again crumbled under the idea that you had chosen him. How on earth could a person like you even think of being with a beast like him. Yet alone, giving up your virginity to him.

He hated how horribly turned on he was by the thought of taking it.

The voices had been relentless about it ever since. They were hyper focused on your every move, twisting every thought of his into something promiscuous. When you rolled out of bed in the morning and stretched, a small sigh escaping your lips, it was endless cries of “make her do that again” “you should fuck those moans out of her” “make her scream”

While making breakfast together in the morning, they wouldn’t stop telling him to “bend her over the counter” “take it right here”

Even at times where he was alone, the voices preoccupied him with endless thoughts of you. He was fairly certain they had forced him to imagine every possible way in which he could have you. “imagine fucking her against the wall” “you can be gentle for the first time y’know” “she’d feel so good writhing underneath us” “press her face into the mattress instead” “make her get on her knees and suck you off” “she’ll be such a pretty little slut for us”

He tried to take care of himself as often as he could, but it was becoming impossible to keep up with. There were only so many times a day he could jerk himself off alone behind locked doors. He was desperate, and sexually frustrated to say the least.

He felt disgusting for it.

After a week of this torment, he could barely even look at you yet alone touch you without the voices and his own guilt pounding against his skull. You couldn’t even think about broaching the subject again, because he was avoiding physical contact like the plague. He wouldn’t come to bed until he knew you were asleep, and would leave long before you woke.

As much as he tried to hide it, you could tell he was tired. Something was wrong, but you knew that he’d never just tell you about his problems unprompted. Techno was insufferably stubborn in that way. After several days of avoiding your gaze and leaning away from your touch, you chose to confront him.

“Techno”, you called for his attention quietly, trying to sound stern while remaining gentle with him. He didn’t turn to fully face you, but he glanced at the spot on the wall just above your head.

You struggled to find the words you wanted to say, so you settled on telling him, “Techno, you look tired.”

He turned his attention away from you. “Just a lot of work around the house this week. I’ll be fine after I rest.”

“Then come to bed with me.” You saw the way his body tensed and tilted away from you at that simple suggestion.

“I just need to write a couple letters first. You can go ahead of me.”

“Techno...”, you whined, daring to take a step closer to him. He gave you an almost panicked look, “why does it feel like you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you”, he responded quickly, trying to look through you instead of at you.

“Yes you have”, you responded firmly. A flash of guilt washed over his face at your tone. “You haven’t kissed or touched me for nearly a week now. I don’t even know for sure if you sleep in the same bed as me anymore. Fuck, you barely even talk to me.”

Angry tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, but you wanted to hold them in. Techno felt his chest tighten at the sight of it. He instinctively turned and reached out to comfort you, but forced himself to freeze.

“There”, you said, gesturing towards him, “just like that. You’re stopping yourself. Why are you doing that?”

He repeatedly opened and closed his fists at his side, wanting to have any conversation other than this one.

“[y/n], there’s just a lot going on in my mind right now”, he said. It wasn’t a complete lie. “I just need to work though it.”

“Then let me help you.”

“No”, he responded a little too quickly, “I- I mean, I just don’t want to talk about it with you yet...”

“Why not?”, you retorted, trying to squeeze any information you could out of him.

“I just don’t, okay? It’s uncomfortable, I don’t want to talk about it yet.”

“... is this about me being a virgin?”

“I never said that”, he replied, but the tension in his shoulders was enough to tip you off.

“Ah geez Technoblade, if it was that much of a problem for ya, you should have just told me”, you said sarcastically, “instead of avoiding all physical contact for a like week straight!”

“It’s not a problem, [y/n].”

“Certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

Techno huffed in frustration, grabbing a fistful of his hair at the root. He wasn’t sure if he was more upset with himself, or the fact that a few of the voices were still begging him to “please fuck her already”

“Love, I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t want it. They”, he tapped a finger against the side of his skull, “they want it so badly. It’s driving me insane.”

He breathed in and out shakily, trying to gauge your expression in the brief moments before he continued.

“I’m a monster. I’ve spilt more blood than anyone every should in a single lifetime. My appearance is more beast than man.”

He looked up briefly to find you staring right at him, a tight-lipped frown upon your face.

“What does that have to do with any of this?”

“I- ... I don’t want to corrupt your innocence”, he admitted.

“What on earth do you mean by that?”

“[y/n], you’re so perfect”, he answered almost breathlessly, “you’re so kind and so pure. Just living with me does enough to taint your reputation, I don’t wanna-“

He cut himself off to swallow thickly. He almost seemed scared of the words he was going to say next.

“I don’t want to ruin this part of you either...”

A heavy silence filled the tiny sitting room of techno’s cottage. In those few seconds, your eyes widened ever so slightly as his words suddenly clicked in your mind. This hulking boar of a man, an undisputed war criminal, was scared. He was scared of damaging you, your reputation, or your recently revealed ‘innocence’. Compared to himself, he saw you as a pure being who could be tainted by unwholesome thoughts.

If what he said about the voices was true, then his actions of the past few days would’ve made sense for him.

“Oh techno...”, you muttered softly, tentatively placing a hand on his jaw. His posture was curled inward, making him look small despite his size. He was stiff at first, but allowed you to lift his gaze to meet yours. He searched your eyes desperately for an indication of your reaction. You gave him a reassuring smile.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

A small wave of confusion washed over his face, but he nodded anyways. “It was at the festival...”

“That’s right”, you said, moving the hand on his face down to rest over his shoulder, “and do you remember what I did that day?”

“You threw an axe into Schlatt’s shoulder”, he answered, watching as the scene played out in his memory.

You lived with Niki in her bakery at the time, and witnessed firsthand the injustice she faced during Schlatt’s presidency. As the chaos after Tubbo’s execution occurred, you took the opportunity to hurl your axe where Schlatt stood upon his podium. The blow wasn’t fatal, but that wasn’t necessarily your goal. You just wanted to see the man in pain.

“It was a lucky shot really”, you admitted, “I wasn’t even aiming properly.” That managed to draw a small smile onto Techno’s lips.

“And do you remember”, you continued, “when I tried to confront the Butcher Army by myself?”

He grimaced at the thought. You had told him you just needed to make a quick trip to L’manburg for some supplies, leaving him at home alone to recover from the previous day’s events. You returned that evening with a sprained wrist and a couple large bruises forming on your body. None of them were trying to kill you, but you took a pretty good beating from Quackity just for trying to confront them.

“Why are you bringing all of this up now?”, he asked.

“Because”, you said, “this is the evidence that will support my next point.”

He looked bewildered by that statement, but continued to listen.

“I’m not a perfect person”, you resumed, “I have blood on my hands just like you do. I know it’s hard to compare to you, but I’m not devoid of my own sins. I can be mean, I’ve hurt people. I’m not a pure, angelic being who would quiver at a single inappropriate thought. I think you forget that sometimes.”

He let your words swirl around in his head; he couldn’t deny the logic in them. The evidence prevented him from denying the truth of your statement. He could almost be mad that you’d talked him into a corner, but he was more overjoyed at the fact that you knew him well enough to do so.

“And you know...”, you spoke quietly, letting your hand fall down to rest on his chest, “if you did somehow ‘corrupt my innocence’ as you say... I really wouldn’t mind that.”

Techno’s breath hitched in his throat. There were a brief few moments, maybe minutes, where he just stared at you. Then his lips were on yours; sudden and clumsy, but passionate. You gripped the fabric of his shirt as he grabbed at your waist, desperate to have you in his arms again.

“I’m sorry, I had to”, he muttered, his lips left hovering a hair’s breadth away from yours.

“You’re so silly sometimes”, you sighed affectionately, rubbing small circles into his collarbone. He gave you a gentle smirk before pressing another kiss into your lips.

“I’m sorry darling, I really am”, he said as he drew you into a tight hug. He took in your scent and the feel of your skin for the first time in days. It felt like he could survive off the feeling of your arms wrapped around his body alone. He wondered why he ever let himself be depraved of this.

“You know I trust you, right?”, you spoke with your face pressed into his chest.

“I’m not sure why, but yes.”

You decided not to reprimand him for saying that. You could help him unpack all that later. Instead, you brought your head up to whisper in his ear.

“You have my full and unconditional consent to take my virginity whenever you’re ready.”

Techno inhaled and held his breath, though for what, he wasn’t sure. It took a while for the full weight of those words to sink in. He leaned back to stare at your face, bringing one of his large and shaky hands up to cup your cheek.

“Are you sure?”, his eyes were wide with trepidation, practically pleading with you to tell him the truth. You leaned into his palm, indulging in the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I want you, techno. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

Techno was lost in your words. The sudden absence of guilt left his heart light and airy in his chest. For the first time in days, the voices were only a gentle murmur.

“she’s so beautiful” “she wants you” “make her feel good” “show her how special she is” “make her smile” “she’ll be so pretty” “she’s always pretty” “be gentle, no need to rush”

“make love to her”

“... I think I’m ready now.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

ayyyy guess who finally finished writing something!!!

parts of this feel a little rushed but ehhhhhh i was just excited to finally post it. i looove writing techno as an extremely self-conscious character who’s too caught up in their own head to see how ridiculous they’re being. so, this was a treat for me to write

i hope you enjoyed :D

-moonlight

#c!techno #red:moon #mcyt x reader #techno x reader #technoblade x reader #mcyt smut #techno smut

2K notes · View notes

sunshine-on-my-mind · 3 years ago

Text

Lost and Found

Pairing: Johnny Storm x Plus Size Reader; Jake Jensen x Plus Size Reader (College AU)

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Mature themes, making out (sort of, NO explicit smut), kissing, hugs, body images, TW: Fat shaming, body shaming, mean friends, mature language, angst, crying, hopeful ending. (College AU)

words: 4.9k

a/n: Hey cuties! this is my first love triangle hehe, I really hope you all like it. I tried to keep the ending realistic but I am not sure how it turned out. Again, hope you all like this story. dividers are by @firefly-graphics

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

Early morning classes weren’t your thing. Sleepy and tired but it couldn’t be helped. Just a few more steps, you knew you could do it, you didn’t like being late.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in when you reached your class in time. After taking your place on a bench, you got busy arranging the notebook, your laptop and other essentials that you might be needing. You were still tired though, so when your best friend came and sat beside you, you didn’t really notice.

His voice made you realise his presence, “Well someone looks wide awake.” you rolled your eyes. That smile on his face irritated you in that moment, otherwise you were a big fan of his goofy smile.

“Jensen you must have some special talent since you left for class earlier than I did and somehow came later.” Jake laughed. You looked so cute when you were sleepy and grumpy. Actually scratch that, you always looked cute.

“Look at you being all grumpy, I knew you’d need coffee and that you’d forget it in a rush so someone had to get it for you, riiiiight?” He stretched the last word as he placed a cup of coffee in front of you.

You couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on your face. That smile was enough to make Jake’s day. Quickly, but carefully you took a sip. The smile widened. “You’re the best, Jakey.” Jake tried to hide his blush by turning his face away.

Thankfully that class was interesting, so you didn’t have a chance of falling asleep amidst the lecture. It had been at least five minutes since the class started when the storm decided to make an appearance. Johnny Storm.

The professor was nice enough to let him in after Johnny threw a charming ‘sorry’ his way. You were surprised to see him, he hardly ever came to class. Although you were much more surprised when the man made his way to your bench and took a place beside you. Jake narrowed his eyes.

Even though the bench was spacious enough, suddenly you felt insecure about yourself. Were you taking up too much space? Were the two men sitting comfortably beside you? You tried to get a read on Johnny to notice any discomfort or annoyance but he was busy on his phone. Suddenly you remembered about his image, he is known to be smug and arrogant, sometimes even a jerk.

“You’re staring” Johnny casually said without looking at you. Quickly you looked away, scribbling on your notebook. Now it was Johnny’s turn to look at you. You felt nervous under his stare. Why was he making you nervous? Sure he is probably the most popular guy in college and a heartthrob, but it didn’t matter to you. Johnny tried to understand what you were writing with so much focus, and Jake was busy trying to analyse Johnny.

“Hey,” Johnny softly nudged you with his elbow. “You seem studious, wanna help me with whatever the old man’s teaching? I don’t rea-“ you shushed him, trying to focus on the lecture. You were cute, Johnny noted. He kept quiet, for the moment, shifting his gaze to the man beside you, he gave Jake a nod, who didn’t seem interested in interacting.

“I’m Johnny” he introduced himself as soon as the class was over. You told him your name, but Jake didn’t bother, he was busy rolling his eyes. Johnny Storm, the famous heartthrob didn’t seem like a jerk, in fact he was sweet to you, you liked the way he smiled.

“Hey… sugar, can i call you sugar? well i think you’re sweet as sugar, so i’m gonna call you sugar” Johnny uttered quickly and you couldn’t help but smile. “Will you be the sweet girl I think you are and help me with this subject? tutor me, please sugar.” he went on and gave you puppy dog eyes. You could have refused, considering you had to study other subjects as well, but could you say no to those beautiful blue eyes?

“Kitten, before you say anything can I have a word?” Jake interrupted. Jake Jensen, your best friend and roommate. You both have been best. friends since forever and now you shared an apartment. The first time Jake saw you, you were wearing a t-shirt that had kittens on it, hence the name. You adored that name, but you adored the person much more. And he, well he adored you too, too much actually. Jake pulled you aside to give you a piece of his mind.

“I’m not sure if agreeing to Mr. Entitled will be a wise decision, you know about his reputation don’t you?” Jake asked, genuine concern was clear in his voice, he always looked out for you. To be fair he was also a little jealous but he couldn’t let you understand that. You laughed. His brows furrowed trying to figure out why you’re laughing.

“Oh Jakey, don’t worry I am very sure I am not his type so it will really just be me helping him with the subject, and I think that in turn will motivate me to study more.” Jake was a goner as soon as you called him ‘Jakey’. He decided it’s best to just nod.

“Okay, i’ll tutor you.” You informed Johnny who wrapped you in a big hug, before saying he really appreciated you helping him. You told Johnny he could come over to your place after college. Jake already had other plans, so it would just be you and Johnny. Truth be told, you were nervous. It’s not that you were interested in Johnny, still you couldn’t explain the sudden burst of butterflies you got in your stomach every time Johnny flashed you that charming smile.

After college you went back home to make sure your apartment isn’t in a mess before Johnny would come over. Thankfully you got the time to tidy everything and change into something comfortable yourself. You reminded yourself he would be here just to study because he needed help, otherwise you weren’t someone Johnny would spare a second glance to. You were pulled out of your thoughts when the bell rang.

“Hey, sugar.” Johnny flashed his smile, as soon as you opened the door. He took some time to look around your apartment before sitting at the study desk. You got your laptop, notes and the books you would be needing. Also couldn’t forget the two cups of coffee you made.

“You’ve got a nice apartment, sugar. Cute, just like you” Johnny winked as you cleared your throat, to stop a shy smile from reaching your face. You informed him that Jake shared the apartment with you. He didn’t seem too excited about that information, just said an ‘oh’ before thanking you for the coffee and basically changing the topic.

That day marked the first of many of your study sessions. You both grew closer, got to know more about one another. Early classes didn’t seem too tiring anymore, because it meant spending more time with Johnny. Johnny who was hardly seen in class was now attending it regularly, making excuses to his friends. His random compliments always had some special effect on you, he also made you laugh, a lot. You cooked him a snack every time, he appreciated that.

And Johnny? Well he tried his best to not acknowledge his feelings or whatever was going on with him. Mr popular himself was well aware of his reputation of being a ladies’ man and stood by it proudly. Johnny liked being the popular guy he was, he enjoyed the attention. He couldn’t actually develop feelings for someone could he? Just because you were so sweet, warm, beautiful, kind, helpful, and just because you made him notes, asked about his day, always listened to him and made him food during those study sessions, didn’t mean that he could have feelings for you, right?

“Johnny!” you interrupted Johnny’s daydreaming when he suddenly lost track while studying. His clueless face was adorable. Johnny gave you a toothy grin as he focused on the book again. You couldn’t help but smile, couldn’t help but get drawn to Johnny Storm, just like a moth to a flame.

Oh how much you wanted to tell Jensen everything, how much you wanted his advice, but you could hardly get a hold of him those days. Maybe you were being a bad friend not taking care of him or maybe - he wasn’t avoiding you, was he? Jake was never home whenever Johnny would come over. True that Jake still smiled at you like before but he didn’t talk so much.

“Looks like someone lost their focus, huh sugar?” Johnny smirked, and you playfully rolled your eyes. He wanted to ask you out on a date but before he could he got a text from a friend about some party they were planing to go to. Johnny was reminded of the life outside your comforting study sessions. Johnny storm, heart-throb? more like heartbreaker. His friends hyped him up too much, being popular was something he always enjoyed.

Right then, you looked up at him with a sweet smile and in that moment Johnny wanted to forget everything else.

“These study sessions have helped me so much, thank you for tutoring me sugar.” he held your hand softly and continued, “I would really like if we could a arrange a little Study date? A lot like this but it will also be a date. We can order food and we can watch a movie. Y’know, a date, like the ones they show in Rom-coms. What say?” You were lost for words. Trying to form a coherent answer when you’re heart was beating so fast you were almost scared. Finally you decided to nod, maybe a little too eagerly. Johnny smiled. You couldn’t wait to tell your best friend, you were so happy, all of this felt unbelievable.

“Jakey, Jakey, Jakey!!” you hugged him as soon as your roommate entered your shared apartment. Jake smiled seeing you so happy. Before he could ask the reason of your happiness you told him everything that happened. He was happy for you, because you were happy, but a part of him wasn’t still sure about Johnny or his intentions, how could Jake ignore everything people tell about Johnny and how could you either? He was famous as a ladies’ man, as a player. Or maybe the fact that Jake was hopelessly in love with you was clouding his judgment.

“I am happy that you’re happy, kitten” Jake paused and you could sense a ‘but’ coming, “But it’s Johnny Storm we are talking about, are you sure?” You assured your best friend about how Johnny was so much more than his image, he was sweet, funny and caring. And that your really liked him.

“Well then, I am really happy for you kitten. I hope Johnny realises how lucky he is. Remember, you’re the best, okay? Hope you enjoy this date of yours and take care of yourself, please.” You hugged him again. He wrapped his arms around you, tightly, trying to hold you there, but he knew he would have to let you go.

You decided to ditch your usual hoodies for the date and put on a cute dress. When you stood in front of the mirror to apply some light makeup and did your hair, you didn’t pick out the flaws of your body. All you could see in that mirror was the reflection of an excited girl getting ready for her date. The bell rang and you practically ran to open the door.

“Oh sugar, look at you” Johnny took in how you beautiful looked. “Wow, i- wow you’re so beautiful, so cute.” He entered through the door but his eyes were still locked on you. “I got these for you.” Johnny handed you some pretty sunflowers. “You remind me of sunflowers. Bright, warm and beautiful, and I really like sunflowers.” He blushed a little, scratching the back of his neck, looking adorable.

You could feel there won’t be much studying that evening, still as the good tutor you were you made sure to provide him some notes which would help him. For the first time Johnny had the excuse to stare at you instead of focusing on the books and notes, it was a date after all.

“Alright alright, enough with studying now, let’s watch something shall we?” You chuckled. Johnny took a place on the couch going through the movies to find the perfect one for tonight. Meanwhile you went to the kitchen to bring out the snack you prepared along with two beers. “Hurry up, sugar!” With that you came out of the kitchen and sat beside him. He played a romantic movie.

“I didn’t know you liked romantic movies”

“Well sugar, there is a lot you still don’t know about me.”

He wrapped his hand around your shoulder, pulling you closer, you kept your head on his shoulder. Being so close with him made your chest heave, and Johnny took notice of that, a smirk forming on his face.

“Hey, sugar” Johnny pushed a loose strand of your hair behind your ear as you looked at him. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t get my eyes off of you and honestly I don’t to” You bit your lower lip and Johnny lost his mind. Immediately leaning in to kiss those beautiful lips of yours, and you kissed him back. Johnny didn’t expect the kiss to turn so passionate, so heated, but he couldn’t help when you reciprocated the passion, when you tasted to sweet, when your lips felt so soft against his. Losing yourself in the kiss, only pulled apart when you were out of breath.

“Wow.” you panted for breath.

“Wow indeed, sugar” Johnny smirked, caressing your face, your cheeks were so soft. You leaned into his large palm, he smiled adoringly looking at you. He moved his hand to hold the back of your neck, pulling you closer to touch your forehead with his. You could feel one another’s warm breath. He planted soft kisses all over your face. You smiled.

The date went great, you both talked about whatever your heart wanted, ordered some Chinese takeout, watched the movie - well bits of it and spent the evening in each other’s arms while Johnny caressed your neck and face. Touching you felt so good, so soft, he was staring at your beautiful body, taking every curve in with his eyes. He showed you appreciation, made you feel smile, made you laugh. You were happy and so was he.

Just the two of without any interruptions. Except one, Johnny’s friend had called informing him about some super hot girl, whose name he forgot, who asked for Johnny’s number. That friend probably would have talked more if Johnny didn’t tell him he was busy and hung up. Again, Johnny was reminded of his life outside this warm cocoon. He cared about you, he did, but he also enjoyed that lifestyle of his, the wild fun, the parties, and the way his friends considered him to be a casanova and the coolest dude out there. As far as he remembered, he only ever dated women who looked like they came out of fashion magazines, that too longest for a month, and then there was another, hotter than the one before, popular than the one before and he took pride in it.

Would he give it all up for you? Or rather would you fit in his life? Even if he didn’t date another woman, what about his friends? Will they accept you? You were sweet, beautiful, kind, and friendly, but - he couldn’t ignore the ‘but’ no matter how much he wanted to. He looked at you again, how can someone not like you? Granted his friends were stupid and maybe a little mean at times but they would like you right?

They had to. The way you looked at him with affection in your eyes, the way you praised him when he got his answers right while studying, the way he could tell you anything about himself, be vulnerable, share his fears, even things he didn’t tell his friends and you never judged him, made him feel comforted, it made him so happy.

“Alright sugar, I guess I should go now, thank you for today, and for everything, I had an amazing time.” Johnny smiled, getting up to leave. You hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, saying that you had a lovely time too. “Oh I almost forgot” Johnny stopped in his tracks as he was leaving. “It’s my birthday next week, I’m having a little party, well um, not little actually. Anyway I really want you to be there, please sugar.”

“Of course I’ll be there Johnny, I’m excited.” He pecked your lips and left for the day. As soon as you closed the door, you were squealing in happiness, it all seemed too good to be true.

That week went past pretty quickly, you were so confused about what present you should get for Johnny. You asked Jake for help and he suggested books or clothes but you weren’t feeling it somehow. The gift you were looking for could be simple but it must have a personal connection. After searching for ideas here and there you finally settled on a gift.

The phone chimed, you had set an alarm, it was 12 AM, it was Johnny’s birthday. You opted for texting instead of calling, in case he was sleeping.

Happy Birthday Johnny <3

You used the heart emoji even though you were nervous. Johnny wasn’t sleeping, he was out with with his friends. He saw your text and smiled.

Thank you, sugar ;)

“Who’s got you smiling like that Johnny boy?” a friend asked. He shrugged it off. “Must be that hottie who asked for his number” another friend suggested. “I don’t think so, that girl may be hot but not hot enough for our boy, he only goes for women who look like Victoria’s Secret Models, he has an image to maintain, he won’t go for just anyone.” one of them retaliated. Johnny didn’t say anything while his friends came up with different theories and basically objectified women. He didn’t like that though. Sure he wasn’t a relationship type of guy, that doesn’t mean he didn’t respect women.

Morning rolled in, and then evening. Jake informed he’ll be out for the day, had to meet a friend. You got ready for Johnny’s birthday party. Decided to wear one of your best dresses, that made you feel confident in yourself. You did your hair and makeup, and took one last look at the mirror, happy the way you looked, which wasn’t always the case, and then grabbed his gift and your set of keys of the apartment and left for his party.

The party was noisy, full of people, you didn’t go to many parties so you weren’t really used to it. Through the crowd you tried to spot the man of the hour. And there he was, smiling and laughing, beautiful as always. There were some people around him whom you assumed to be his friends. You gripped the gift tightly in your hand and made your way towards them.

“Oh shit, would you look at that?” one of the guys commented, Johnny turned his head to see you approaching. You looked amazing, so beautiful.

“What is she wearing?” another one asked. “To be fair, I don’t think clothes really matter in little miss fatty’s case.” his friends laughed and Johnny could feel his fears come true. He wished you weren’t there, wished you weren’t coming to see him. He didn’t look at you, turned his face away, hoping to avoid a mess.

“Hi Johnny, happy birthday” you wished him, sweetly. He didn’t turn to face you, he could hear his friends laughing, murmuring comments under their breath. Johnny froze. He didn’t know how to respond with his friends looking at you like you were a living joke. Could Johnny tell them he liked you? What if they made fun of him after knowing that? At the same time he liked you a lot. Before he could respond one of his friends started speaking.

“Oh hello there, are you one of Johnny’s admirers?” the tone was full of mockery. You didn’t know how to answer that, trying to ignore the tone, you thought Johnny would introduce you to his friends but he kept quiet. The question wasn’t something you were expecting. You got interrupted as soon as you opened your mouth to speak.

“Let me guess, she’s got a little crush on our Johnny Boy. Careful friend, don’t get ‘crushed’ under her weight.” one of them suggested, using air quotes and the rest laughed, everyone except Johnny, who stood in silence, trying to avoid your gaze. “Sorry to break it to you fatty, you’re not really his type. or anyone else’s I’d say” This wasn’t something new for you, you had been fat-shamed before, what you didn’t expect was to see the man you admired, the man you thought liked you, the man you were falling for to stay quiet, to let his friends make fun of you. Their comments didn’t hurt you, Johnny’s silence did.

“I- I got this for you but-“, you tried to give him the birthday gift you got him but his friend took it from your hands, Johnny still didn’t say anything, the gift seemed meaningless, like everything else. You were fighting a war with yourself to not let tears form in your eyes.

“Aww look Johnny, your little - well not so little admirer got you a gift. Let’s open it shall we?” And they did. You wished the earth swallowed you, it would be better than the humiliation, than the betrayal. Was everything a lie? Everything that happened between you both, did it mean nothing?

“Oh shit” Laughter, mockery, humiliation, still Johnny’s silence felt the loudest. “She got you mug with sunflowers drawn on it, sunflowers really? You think Johnny is lame or what? Oh man, I don’t know what’s funnier you thinking you have shot with him or you giving him this silly gift” Johnny looked at the mug, looked at the sunflowers remembering how you reminded him of them. It was special, you must have put a lot of thought into the gift.

Johnny finally turned to see you, he couldn’t feel your warmth in that moment. Your face was expressionless, your usual smile nowhere to be found. He did this, he did this to you.

“Guys please, that’s enough, she must have-“ Johnny tried to speak up but got interrupted.

“Wait, wait you know her?”

“She- she’s in one of my classes” Johnny looked away again. In that moment you realised where you stood in his life, a classmate. Everything else? Probably a big joke.

“You can throw the silly gift away, or better yet break it. Enjoy your birthday.” You quickly spoke, turning around to walk away, before they could see your tears, before they could insult you more. Johnny didn’t stop you, he looked at you though. With every step you took, he could feel you walking out of his life. He did this to you and to himself. All to get validated by the assholes he called his friends, all to maintain the image he held up for years. At least Johnny found the answer he was looking for, when he had to choose, he chose the rest of his so called ‘happening life’ at the cost of losing you. He realised he didn’t deserve love, he was shallow, he didn’t deserve someone as kind as you in his life in any form.

“Kitten what’s going on?” You don’t remember when you reached home or for how long your were crying in your room when you heard Jake knock on your door. He opened the door and when he saw you he could feel his heart breaking to see his favourite girl like that. Instantly he was beside you on the floor, taking you in his arms. “Hey, hey sweetheart I am right here” You grabbed his T-shirt tightly, hiding your face against his shoulder, crying your heart out. He rubbed your back softly, trying to calm you down but he decided not to interrupt you, Jake felt you needed to let it out, so he held you tightly against him.

“How did I expect a guy like him to actually like me? He, who dates gorgeous women, that too not for long. What was I expecting? For him to fall for me? I’m such a dumbass, I-I’m nothing but the laughing stock, Jakey.” You spoke after calming down a bit, closing your eyes shut. You told him everything that happened. Jake always had his doubts about Johnny, but right then he wished he was wrong, because seeing you so broken was so much worse than seeing you with someone else, you were so happy after the date. Jake loved seeing you happy, nothing mattered more than your happiness.

“I know you’re upset and you have every right to be but don’t criticise yourself please, you’re the most beautiful, kindest, sweetest, funniest person I know. You’re so helpful, understanding and nice. You can easily brighten up someone’s day. Don’t think so poorly of yourself or how you look because some fucking assholes said shit about you. You’re gorgeous, beautiful, attractive and so fucking cute” He took a deep breath when you looked at him, your eyes teary yet so beautiful.

“Most importantly you have beautiful heart, full of love. Not everyone will understand your worth but remember you deserve all the happiness and love in the world. Frankly I can’t believe how everyone isn’t in love with you because I for sure-“ Your best friend caught himself before he was about to spill out his feelings to you.

“You for sure what Jakey?” your voice was slightly shaky from all the crying. Jake didn’t know what to do, should he finally tell you about his feelings? Was that the right time? You softly held his larger hands in yours, urging him to go on. He was so scared of ruining your friendship which was the main reason he didn’t say anything all these years. But maybe it was time.

“Because I for sure am. I’m in love with you Kitten, for so long I can’t even remember now. You’re the best, you’re my best girl. How could I not fall for you when you’re so amazing? I love you, so much, so fucking much. I didn’t ever say anything because I was scared I’d lose you and ruin our friendship. You mean so much to me sweetheart, I don’t want to lose you. I respect you and our friendship too much.”

You hugged him again, trying to formulate the words. How could you have been so clueless all these years? Jake Jensen is the sweetest, funniest, smartest and kindest man you know. You know anyone would be lucky to be with him. To think he could love you all these years felt pretty unbelievable to you. You wanted to explore this new exciting feeling you got when he expressed his love for you. But maybe you needed time.

“You’re the most amazing guy ever, and I just- I’m vulnerable right now and I don’t want to make you a rebound somehow, because that will be extremely unfair. So what I am asking you, is to give me some time to reflect on everything before I can properly ask you out on a date. Which I will, very soon.” You told Jake who smiled softly, nodding.

“Hey, I won’t let you slip away after you just confessed your eternal love to me okay? You better not change your mind or anything.” You teased, trying to make the situation lighter but Jake was too emotional to take it lightly, he started shaking his head.

“Never, I won’t ever change my mind about you, I won’t ever leave you.” he kissed your forehead, and the simple loving action made you shed a few tears again. The man had been with you forever, has taken care of you always, more than you thought you deserved.

“I wish I knew about your feelings sooner Jakey,” He kissed your forehead again, “It’s okay though, maybe this is how it was supposed to happen. Maybe I had to realise it the hard way that I have always had, and always will have a gem of a person looking out for me, loving me for who I am. I care about you a lot Jakey and we’ll soon make up for the lost time. I look forward to it.” You smiled as he wrapped his arms around you.

In the comfort of Jake’s arms, you could visualise the journey you have shared with him till date, all those small moments of joy, of friendship, of love, how you wrote ‘Kitten and Jakey forever’ in his notebook back in school, even the tinge of jealousy you felt when you saw someone clinging on to Jake. You liked Jake, probably more than you ever realised. For the first time that evening, the dread you were feeling to face Johnny again didn’t trouble you much, because as always, you had the best guy you knew in your corner protecting and comforting you in any form he could. The two of you would figure it out like you’ve always had. A whole life ahead to figure out everything. A life with Jake Jensen.

tagging some friends: @madgep @rodrikstark @mrsdrysdale18 @mobbucky @andy--barber @writing-for-marvel

#johnny storm x plus size reader #johnny storm x reader #jake jensen x reader #jake jensen x plus size reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x plus size reader

282 notes · View notes

dreamerstreamer · 3 years ago

Text

A Terrible Tutor

Pairing: Dream / Clay x gn!reader

Summary: [High School!AU] He’s cocky, annoying, a total tease, has a laugh loud enough to shake the stars, and you hate him. But as luck would have it, he’s also your tutor.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: minor cursing

A/N: this is based on a classmate i had way back! (we did not fall in love. he was awful.) i’ve also never taken physics, but i tried something a bit new for the reader’s personality. i hope you enjoy :) <3

You glared down at your physics textbook, the open pages staring back up at you with beady eyes made of diagrams and labels. Off to the side, your notebook was strewn across your desk, a list of questions scribbled across the top line in a hurried rush. The handwriting was messier than you would have liked, but the thought didn’t irritate you.

What did irritate you was that it was nearly half past four, and your so-called tutor still hadn’t shown up.

You could still envision the concerned look on Mr. Craftson’s face as he held you back a moment after class, watching as the rest of your classmates poured out of the door with an anxious look. He had offered you a kind smile before pulling out your test from the week before, and you winced at the numerous red marks scattered across the front page alone.

“I know you’ve been struggling in this class,” he said, gazing at you almost pitifully.

You tried not to glower at the sight of his apologetic eyes trained on you, instead nodding your head slowly. “It’s been… hard,” you said slowly.

He leaned an arm on his chair, pushing your test toward you. “You ask questions in class,” he hummed, “and from what I’ve seen, you complete your homework diligently.” His smile fell. “Yet here you are me, with the lowest mark in my class.”

You wanted to shrivel up into a ball. Maybe he didn’t have to say it like that, but he wasn’t wrong, either.

At your silence, he prodded at you. “Is there anything going on at home that might be hindering you, or…?”

You whipped your head up, your eyes wide. “No! Things are—things are great. It’s just…”

You swallowed, then sighed, fidgeting your fingers on your lap. “I guess,” you murmured, trying to quell the shame flaring up inside you, “I’ve just been really struggling with the material, and none of it’s really been clicking.”

Mr. Craftson’s face softened in an instant. “That’s alright. Thank you for being honest with me. If my teaching hasn’t been working out with you…”

He paused, rubbing at the blond stubble on his chin for a moment. Then, his face lit up and he leaned forward. “Tell you what,” he said. “I’ve got a great student who I think might be able to explain things to you in a way you might be able to grasp a little better. He’s got the best marks in this class.”

Your eyes widened. The best in the class? He had to be a genius.

“I have a good feeling he can meet you tomorrow at four after school to help you out,” he continued, leaning against the arm rest of his office chair. “What do you say?”

You blinked, a thoughtful look passing over your face. Lord knew you needed the help—you were practically failing the class—but an uneasy stone settled into the pit of your stomach. You’ve never needed tis much help to pass a class before. The thought made you want to gag. Slowly, you opened your mouth.

“Do I have to…” You gestured vaguely. “Pay him or something?”

His cerulean eyes blinked at you for a second, then he laughed—the kind of deep-belly laugh only teachers seemed to be able to have. “No, no,” he said, waving his hand at you, “not at all. He’s a good kid. He wouldn’t do something like that.”

You bobbed your head, your insides crumbling. You didn’t want to accept, you really didn’t. Part of you guys wanted to believe that you could just work harder, study by yourself even more. You were a dedicated student, and you were doing just fine in all your other classes. Surely the content couldn’t get that much harder, right?

But as your gaze lowered to the red ink staining your test once more, you felt yourself swallowing the lump in your throat. Straightening your back, you let your stubborn pride seep out of your shoulders and onto the floor.

It looked like this was a sacrifice you were simply going to have to make.

“Thank you so much for the offer,” you said, letting your lips curl up into a genuine, grateful smile. “It—it really means a lot.”

Mr. Craftson grinned at you, an easygoing flint shining in his eyes. “Of course. You’re a bright student. Sometimes we all just need a little push.”

You could still remember shaking his hand in thanks before bundling your stuff in your arms and shuffling into the hall, tucking your feet between the pages of your textbook. That had been yesterday, and now, the same one was sitting on your desk, open to a new page full of jumbled words you could hardly decipher.

The chair across from you was distinctly empty.

He—whoever he was—was late.

You distantly wondered to yourself who your tutor even was, your gaze drifting down to your textbook. Mr. Craftson had said he was the best student taking the class. Would it be George? He always seemed like he knew what was going on, and he never really asked questions. But sometimes, he looked like he was just zoning out. Maybe it was Technoblade. He was smart. You paused, then shook your head. No, everyone knew he was one of those English kids.

The thought made you furrow your brows, wracking your head even more. The words on the page grew muddled and fuzzy as you thought even more. Just who was it?

Just then, you heard the classroom door swing open with the same loud creak every door in the school seemed to have. The sound of heavy breaths and panting filled the air, then a haggard voice spoke up.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late.”

You didn’t look up from your page, letting a sigh escape your lips as you lifted your head. Plastering a polite smile to your face, you let your gaze travel toward your tutor. “Hi, it’s nice to me—”

Suddenly, your voice died in your throat as your eyes locked onto the figure standing in the doorway. Towering over the desks with a duffel bag resting against his hip, his dirty blond locks were damp and matted against his forehead, his emerald eyes blinking at you. Something bitter and warm twisted in your gut at the sight, and the smile dropped off your face and into a scowl.

“Oh,” you said flatly. “It’s you.”

The smile he offered you was easygoing, but you didn’t miss the strain in his gaze. “It’s me.”

You bit on the inside of your cheek, your heart practically revolting against your rib cage with the way it was hammering. A million questions were darting around the inside of your skull, only making your blood boil even more with each passing second.

Of all the people you had expected to show up, Clay was easily the last.

The two of you had first met back in freshman year in your first science class—he had sat behind you and had the loudest laugh on the planet, or so you were convinced. You were quieter back then, but just as stubborn and snappish as now. Soon enough, one thing led to another, and you swore the two of you were suddenly enemies for life.

Although you couldn’t remember what had caused your little feud, you knew that he was the one who started it. He was loud and kicked your chair, he just loved to borrow your pens and never return them, and you could never figure out just why he loved to tease you so much. You don’t think you learned a single thing in that class, always distracted by the presence staring a hole into your back, and you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

Naturally, that meant your teacher assigned him to sit behind you for the rest of the year. To this day, you were convinced she hated you, and you still avoided her in the halls.

To say that science class was your least favourite would be an understatement, and soon enough, everybody was in on your hatred for each other. Clay never seemed to stop pestering you no matter how hard you tried to ignore him, and you would never forget the day you finally snapped at him, whipping around to glare at him with your cheeks on fire.

“Will you please shut up?”

The shocked look on his face was still burned into your memory as it melted into a wide, proud grin.

“Only if you make me.”

Even years later, he always seemed to find a way to worm himself back into your life, and you hated it. You hated him, simple as that.

So, seeing him standing in front of you like this, it took every ounce of your strength to keep your voice as neutral as possible.

“What took you so long?”

He patted his duffel bag before slipping it off his shoulder and setting it on the ground. “I just finished football practice. Coach ran a little long and I figured it would be polite to take a shower before so I didn’t smell all sweaty when I tutored you.”

You blinked, your mouth falling open. That explained his wet hair, you guessed. While you were vaguely flattered, you were distracted by something else. “You knew that you would be tutoring me?”

Clay nodded, pulling back the chair in front of you. “Yeah. Phil asked me.”

You gaped. “You call Mr. Craftson by his first name?”

His smile was a touch too smug for your liking, and you wanted to wipe it off his face. “Maybe. I was surprised when he asked, though.” He wrinkled his nose and shot you a teasing smirk as he sat down. “I didn’t think you would be failing this class.”

You glowered, that same bitter feeling bubbling up in your chest, again. “I’m not failing,” you snapped. “I’m just…” You paused, your cheeks growing hot. “…not passing.”

He gave you a deadpan look, then laughed. “That’s the same thing.”

You sent him a gesture that your teacher most certainly would have scolded you for if he was here, and he laughed even harder. You were suddenly reminded of just how damn loud his laugh was, sounding like fireworks in your ears. Slumping over, you hung your head in your hands.

“Ugh. I can’t believe you knew you were going to be tutoring me of all people.” You paused, then added, “I can’t believe you agreed.”

He tilted his head at you, brushing his damp hair out of his face. “Did you not know I was gonna be your tutor?”

“No.” You frowned. “If I did, I wouldn’t have shown up.”

His eyes flickered with mirth as a smile stretched across his face. “Aw, am I really that disagreeable?”

“Yes,” you said immediately, your gaze as sharp as a blade. “Without a doubt. A hundred percent. I didn’t even have to think about it.”

He whistled, feigning a wince. “Harsh.”

Wryly, you said, “You deserve it.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. “I wasn’t that bad as a freshman, was I?”

You gave him a hard, callous stare. “Do you really think I’m the one you should be asking that question?”

He thought about it for a moment, then sighed. “Okay, point taken.”

You dragged a hand over your face, then pointed at your textbook. “Are you going to teach me now or what? We’re already behind.”

He winced for real this time, and you almost felt bad for him. Almost. “Sorry, again.”

“Seriously,” you muttered under your breath, reaching into your back to grab your pencil case, “and to think that you have the highest grades in this class.”

“Hey,” he shot back, “I’m brains and brawn.”

You shot him a look that was nothing short of disgusted. He cringed a little at the sight.

“Okay, that was cheesy, but I’m not wrong. Besides, coach says I have to keep my grades up or else I’m off the team.” He leaned closer to you, and you tried to ignore the feeling of his hot breath fanning over your skin. “You know I can’t let everyone down like that.”

You looked unconvinced. “Uh huh. Totally.” Whipping out a pencil, you tapped at the bottom of the page you had open. “Can you explain this to me, now? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can leave.”

He quietly chuckled, and you hated how soft it sounded. Leaning closer to the textbook to read, his lips mouthed the problem silently. You tried not to stare at his mouth as it moved, your gaze tracing over the soft dip of his lips as his viridian eyes flashed with recognition. A moment later, he sat back and cocked his head at you.

“So, what exactly do you not understand?”

You didn’t miss a beat. “Everything.”

He blinked, disbelief colouring his features. “Everything? Like, the whole thing?”

You scowled. “I thought that was obvious. All that stuff about velocity and the funny diagrams—” You shook your head. “—none of it makes sense.”

He raised a brow at you. “I thought you were paying attention in class. You really don’t understand a single thing?”

You bit back the urge to scream. “It’s not like you’re much smarter.”

Clay snorted derisively. “I am. That’s kind of the whole point.”

You groaned, letting your voice ring out in the quiet of the empty classroom. You caught a glimpse of his amused smile in front of you, and it only made you groan louder.

“You’re the one who ruined science for me, you know? I hated going to that class, and look at me now.” You gestured to yourself, using your finger to draw a ring in the air. “It all comes full circle.”

There was a brief second of silence. “I’m the reason why you hate science?”

You didn’t budge. “I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy knowing I was going to be stuck in a class with someone who never gave me my stuff back and kicked my chair.”

Another wave of silence washed over the two of you, but this one was tense—heavy. He swallowed, and you watched his Adam’s apple bob.

“You…” His eyes swirled with something sad and honest. “You really hate me that much?”

He suddenly looked a lot like a kicked puppy, and a pang of guilt shot through your chest like a bullet. With a panicked gaze, your voice grew shaky as you spoke. “I—I don’t hate you. I just… I had a grudge, I guess.”

Your tone grew soft, and you lowered your gaze to your lap. “I… I really didn’t like you back then, but things have changed.” You offered him a small smile, but it felt shy. “We’re not exactly fourteen, anymore.”

He returned your smile with one of his own. Just like yours, it was small and tender, and it sent something stirring in the depths of your belly. “No,” he murmured, “we’re not.”

“I,” you breathed, gulping down the last dredges of your grudge, “was stubborn back then.” You raised a shoulder. “In a way, I still am. I have too much pride for my own good too, but I don’t hate you.” The look you sent him had a spark of mischief, and his breath hitched. “Strongly dislike, at best.”

Clay blinked at you, looking half-surprised and half-awed at you. You squirmed under his gaze before he snapped out of his stupor, almost bashfully ducking his head. “I’m… It’s definitely too late for me to say this now when I really should have said it all those years ago, but I’m sorry. Really. I was a dick.”

You snorted under your breath, fondly mumbling, “Yeah, you were.”

His face perked up at the sound of your bitten back laugh. “I really shouldn’t have teased you so much. My reasons were… dumb.”

You cocked a brow at him, almost as if to say, Oh? Do elaborate.

But instead, you watched as his ears burned crimson red and he flashed you a pair of bright, pleading eyes. “Forgive me? Please.”

Your heart leapt into your throat, something new and warm bursting along the seams of your lungs. You couldn’t possibly say no to a face like that. Even the toughest person on the planet would crack under a look as sincere as that, you tried to reason, ultimately letting out a sigh with a stammer.

“O-Only if you actually can get me to understand this unit.” Pushing down the heat creeping up your neck, you pointed at him with an accusatory look. “Until then, you’re on thin ice.”

The grin he sent you was beyond dazzling—you couldn’t have brought yourself to look away even if you wanted to.

(And you didn’t.)

“Gotcha.”

Clay finished scribbling a diagram onto the new page of your notebook, flicking his thumb back to reveal the hordes of previous pages you had filled with other practice problems. If you were being honest, you were a little envious of just how neat his drawings were. No one should be able to draw a line as straight as that without a ruler, yet here he was, doing exactly that.

What a show-off.

Feeling your eyes on him, Clay lifted his head to catch your gaze, turning the notebook to face you. You tried to pretend the stumbling of your heart wasn’t because of him—not at all. “Do you get it?” he breathed.

You glanced back and forth between him and your page, your grip on your pencil falling slack. “I think so,” you said slowly. “Mostly, at least.”

He hummed for a moment, then flipped your notebook around until it was facing him again and holding an expectant, open hand toward you. Without even thinking, you dropped your pencil into his palm, a spark running up your fingers at the slight brush of his skin against yours. Carefully, he wrote a string of words on a new line, circling the sentence when he was done.

“Here,” he said gently, pushing the pencil back between your fingers, “try this question. This was one of the harder ones from my test.”

Gingerly, you peered down at the page, and your mouth fell open at the sight. This question was far more complicated than anything you had been solving in the textbook before this. What was he thinking?

“If you get it right,” he said suddenly, casting you out of your thoughts, “you should be all set.” His lips curved up into a taunting, knowing grin. “But it’s okay if you don’t get it—it is difficult, after all.”

You stared for a second longer, then grumbled under your breath. How could he read your mind like that? You were going to prove him wrong, even if only to knock that smug look off his face.

Leaning down, you tackled the problem head on, your pencil flying across the page as you spelled out formulas and equations, doodling a diagram when you had to and pausing to think every other breath. Before you, you didn’t see Clay watching you with a soft, tender gaze, taking in the way your fingers fidgeted against your pencil when you stopped and how you chewed on your mouth when you got nervous.

You really were more endearing than you could ever know.

Suddenly, you let your pencil clatter against the table as you pushed your notebook toward him, eyeing your pencil scratches with a wary look. “Done.”

His viridian eyes gleamed with excitement. “Alright,” he said, plucking the paper from your desk with a practiced ease, “let’s take a look.”

His gaze scanned your work intently, his lips pressed together in focus. You folded your hands onto your lap, trying to focus on his analysis of you work. But the longer you looked, the more you felt your gaze trailing up to graze his cheeks. Did he always have so many freckles? You didn’t remember seeing him with this many as a freshman, but you also spent more time glaring at him than staring at him back then.

In a way, he was kind of... pretty. Handsome, even. Not that you would ever say it out loud.

You suddenly had a strong urge to reach up and trace feather-light lines between each of his freckles, but before you could even take another breath, Clay’s eyes were on yours again. Unlike earlier, the look on his face was grave, and a small grimace overtook his features.

“I have bad news,” he said dryly.

Your heart fell.

Of course you got something wrong. You were a fool to think that things would change just because Clay would be teaching you instead.

But then, his grimace curled up at the corners, and your jaw dropped.

“I have nothing left to teach you in this unit.”

Your eyes widened.

“I got it right?”

He turned the notebook back to face you. A large check mark had been scribbled in pencil along the side of the page, a tiny smiley face decorating the corner next to it.

“Perfectly.”

The gasp you let out sent you barrelling for your feet, and you nearly started jumping for joy in the middle of your seat. “Yes!” you cried, pumping a hand up in the air. Suddenly, you whirled to point at Clay, a pout forming on your lips. “Oh my god, you scared the crap out of me! Don’t do that.”

He chuckled, leaning back with his hands up defensively. “Sorry, sorry. I saw the opportunity and just had to take it.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you stuck your tongue out at him. “You’re terrible.”

His eyes softened—sincere and sweet. “I know.”

Ignoring the sudden burst of warmth rushing through your veins, you huffed at him. “Well, at least I have two pieces of good news for you. First,” you said, sliding your notebook off your desk, “we can both go home, now.”

“And the second?” he prompted, looking at you inquisitively.

You folded your notebook shut, boring a hole into your backpack with the intensity of your stare. You couldn’t look at him right now, you just couldn’t.

“Second,” you nearly whispered, “I accept your apology.”

Slipping your textbook into your bag, you heard him take a sharp intake of breath. “Really?”

You reached for your pencil case, fumbling with the zipper. “Yes.”

There was another breath, but this one was gentler, less harsh. You peeked up at him from your bag, and your heart stuttered at the ecstatic look on his face.

“This,” he said, “is the greatest day of my life.”

You blinked wildly at him, zipping your backpack up all the way before slinging it onto the desk. “That’s a little extreme, isn’t it?”

He shook his head, his smile never once faltering. “Are you kidding? I thought you were going to hate my guts forever!”

You shrugged, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “I might have.” You paused. “Actually, I probably would have. But luckily for you—” You shot him a sincere look. “—not anymore.”

His grin grew impossibly wider, yet it somehow still looked natural on him. Deep down, a part of you wanted to bottle up his expression and remember it for as long as you lived.

“Like I said, greatest day of my life.”

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “Weirdo.”

Pushing in your chair and gesturing for him to stand, you jutted your head toward the door. Clay didn’t need to be queued twice before he was rising to his feet, pushing the chair back to its rightful spot before heaving his duffel bag off the floor and onto his side. As the two of you headed out towards the door, a bought suddenly flickered across your head, and your lips began moving before you could even begin to think.

“One of these days, you need to tell me why you liked to pick on me so much. Like, seriously, why me?” You gestured to yourself as the two of you stepped outside into the school hallway. “I’m not exactly special.”

You hadn’t been looking at him in that moment, focused on closing the door behind you, but when he didn’t respond for a moment, you looked up and felt your lungs tighten. You had never seen Clay look so bashful in his life, with his ears flaring crimson red and a faint rosy tint dusting the panes of his cheeks. His freckles were only more noticeable with the pink background, and you nearly blurted something you knew you would regret.

“Maybe I’ll—” He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck with a smile. “I’ll tell you some other time.”

Before you could even ask what he meant by that, he was firing off once more. “In the meantime, if you still need help, I don’t mind coming in again next week or something.”

You nearly took a double take. Next week? He wanted to help you, again?

“Don’t you have more important things to do?” you asked, scanning him with wide, curious eyes. “Like studying your own stuff.”

“You’re important,” he said abruptly.

You choked on your spit, and by the way he went absolutely stock still in front of you, you had a feeling he hadn’t meant to say that.

“Oh,” you whispered.

That warm, fuzzy feeling from earlier was rising between your lungs again, only this time it sent your heart racing around your chest. Sucking in a deep breath, you nodded your head once, twice.

“Sure,” you managed to say as calmly as you could. “The, um, the next unit looks a little confusing, so I might need some help.”

Clay’s face suddenly brightened at your soft request for assistance, and you caught his shoulders slumping with relief as he smiled. “Awesome.” He paused, then waved his hand. “Not the part about you needing help, I mean.”

You laughed a little at that, your nerves calming a bit more. “I would hope not.”

He smiled back at you. “So,” he said, drawing out the syllable, “I’ll be back same time next week?”

You couldn’t help but reach over to elbow him a little playfully. “Try to be on time though, yeah?”

He flushed a bit, but cracked a crooked grin nonetheless. “I’ll try my best.” He glanced over his shoulder down the hall, and you suddenly realized you would be heading in the opposite direction.

“I’ll see you around?” he murmured gently, brushing away his now dry hair from his forehead.

One of your hands tightened around the straps of your bag while the other waved back at him. “See you.”

With one last grin at you, you watched as he turned on his heel, striding down the hall with his duffel bag bouncing against the side of his hip. Just then, your eyes grew wide, and you cupped your hands around your mouth to call after him.

“One last thing, Clay!” you shouted, your voice echoing down the empty corridor.

At the sound of his name, he whipped around again, his brows knitted together. Breathing in deeply, you screwed your eyes shut and called out once more.

“Thank you!”

When you opened your eyes again, his emerald green eyes were blinking at you with wild abandon, his lips parted in what could only be described as a look of pure wonder. Your heart skipped a beat, and you wondered why he was looking at you of all people like that.

Swallowing, he sent you a lopsided, earnest smile and cupped his own hands around his mouth to shout back at you.

“Anytime!”

You kept waving at him even after he let his arms drop back to his sides and he vanished around the corner of the hall. Almost immediately, you bent over to bury your head into your knees, letting out a soft, muffled yell.

Why did your chest feel so warm when he looked at you like that? Why did you want to count his freckles so badly when he smiled? Was he always so nice, so helpful and kind? Why did he look so cute when his face flushed all pink like the way it did before? When did he become so endearing instead of annoying?

Did you like him?

You let out another muffled cry into your hands, feeling heat flood every part of your body like a tidal wave crashing into your system. You could hear your heart ringing in your ears like a bell that wouldn’t ever stop, and your toes curled into your shoes.

You had so, so many questions, none of which you knew how to solve.

Hopefully Clay could help you figure out the answers.

607 notes · View notes

diedbutterflies69 · 3 years ago

Text

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

#skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #bangchan smut #skz chan smut #bang chan imagines #chan fluff #bangchan #skz chan x reader

323 notes · View notes

strawberrycvmcake · 3 years ago

Note

May I please remember an NSFW fanfic of Doctor!Asmodeus “examining” Fem!reader? Fem!Reader has no idea that this exam is about to be extra special... 😉😏 (if you do kinks please add toys, especially vibrators!! Love overstimulation and clit torture)

Of course! I do try to do anything that someone requests. I’m not too familiar with kinky stuff so before writing this I’ll read into it!

Also, I wasn’t sure what kind of doctor you were referring to so I used a pediatrician since they sometimes do check genitalia to make sure everything is alright physically.

Fem reader (Female anatomy is going to be used!)

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Smut, Fingering, Toys, Overstimulation

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️\

Shifting uncomfortably in the chair, as you wait for your doctor to enter. You should’ve brought your jacket here. The room was far from warm. It was quite bleak as you shiver a bit. Ignoring the awkward silence of just your breathing you hear the knock on the door.

“Come in”

A short nurse enters, greeting you as she sat down at the sink with her laptop nestled on her lap.

“I just need to collect some medical information and notes, then I can send in the doctor.”

You nod and go over the questions with the lady. Mostly they were about family medical history if any what medication you took, any current diseases, conditions, things that might’ve not been updated.

“Anything concerning you?”

“Nothing at all.”

“Great! I also did give you notice beforehand but wanted to remind you that your usual doctor won’t be in. She's on vacation, so I have another one coming in. Just wanted to remind you. I’ll call in the doctor in a bit, I just need you to change into this.” She hands you one of those shitty paper examination gowns. You change once she leaves and attempts not to rip your only covering. As you sit back down, you hear another knock.

“I’m all set, you can come in.”

The doctor enters and you become awestruck. He looks so naturally graceful and pretty. Strawberry-blonde strands waved and tucked beautifully.

“Good morning Miss!” Smiling eyes shut into a curve. “Today all we are doing is a check-up and a quick peek at your Vulva to make sure everything looks normal! I won’t touch anything down there since this isn't a gynecologists' office, but it is standard procedure, just in case, there is something that looks unordinary so we can get it looked at right away. Nothing too rash, but first I'm going to have to check your heart.

I usually give a warning that the stethoscope is quite cold since it's quite common to forget.” Still smiling as he moves behind you.

He parts the gown on its side and sets it on your back. Even with the fair warning it still causes goosebumps to form. The doctor hums and moves the metal around.

“Your heart sounds healthy to me, assuming you are anxious.”

His statement finally caught you out of your trance, and finally, you are hit with multiple sensations at once. Your heart is hammering like it's about to burst through your breast. That wasn't the only thing though. A pulsing in your womanhood and the light head pounding that went with it.

“I also need to borrow your neck to check your lymph nodes if that is all right with you. If I press too hard please don’t hesitate to signal me to stop.”

Amber eyes enchanted you as once again he smiled and made a cute noise in satisfaction. The checkup went normal as he went through everything. Eyes, ears, mouth, reflexes, just one more to go.

"Like I mentioned earlier, I'll be taking a bit of a peak. If there is anything you'd like me to check further for anything that is concerning to you don't hesitate. It may help any future problems that might appear in the near future."

You give him a light smile and lie back. He pulls his chair closer to the treatment table. He gives one last glance at you before pulling up the skirt of the gown.

Face red as you realized you were soaked, arousal leaking down. The doctor giggled, but didn't speak, he just eyed it.

"My, my, I didn't know that this examination was that exhilarating for you. The paper underneath is soaked."

You silently pule at his words, thighs slightly shake. A gasp stemmed from your lips as you felt a finger pressed lightly at your hood.

"Now now, I won't continue our little examination until I have your verbal consent."

"Please, continue." You stammered.

With those words, he pushed your folds apart and took the thumb from his occupied hand to rub ribbons against your clit. Your back slightly domes at the sensitivity.

Moans drizzling out of you as he continues. Suddenly he pulls away. You angle your head to question him, but then a new sensation is rippled throughout your nerves. A slight buzzing sound coming from between your legs.

You gasp and clench your eyes as the vibrator trails on your clit in a circular motion. The pool and intensity getting harsher.

He then suddenly sticks two fingers inside, shoving them in at an inhumane pace. Finger pads slide over your gspot as the pressure in your pelvis starts to crack and you come undone, but he doesn't stop, instead, he angles the toy at a more sensitive area on your clit that leaves you breathless.

You naturally squirm away but he wouldn't let you, but in lieu, he pulls you closer. Your left leg is placed over his shoulder as his left-hand pushes your right leg farther apart.

You silently wail as tears stream down your face as you are faced with another orgasm. The buzzing stops and you feel the pressure from your clit leave. He helps you clean up the obvious mess and inspects you to make sure he didn't hurt you.

"Well, it was nice to meet you. Hopefully, we can have another encounter like this again sometime in the future." He gave one last grin before closing the door. You smiled to yourself and got dressed, feeling more than eased.

#obey me asmodeus #obey me asmodeus smut #obey me smut #obey me x reader smut #obey me asmo smut

645 notes · View notes

redhead-batgal · 3 years ago

Text

Type: Two-Shot {A really really long part-one}

Part Two: Here

Pairing: Fem! and Librarian! Reader x Dick Grayson/Nightwing

Content: Cursing, flirtations, violence, reader with serious anxiety and some minor implications. Fluff, so much fluff.

P.S: An OC of mine is making an appearance in this so yeah just a heads up, it’s not the reader but she will be in it. Anyways, enjoy!

Word Count (So y’all know what you’re getting yourself into): 12,709 words

Y/N: Your Name, L/N: Last Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You hadn't meant for anyone to see, you thought that after hours of no patrons it would be fine, however you were wrong. It was more embarrassing than anything, embarrassing all because it wasn't just anyone who had caught you. No it just had to be the first man you found yourself crushing on since the nasty break up with your Ex, Daniel. It just had to be Dick Grayson who caught you dancing through the aisle as you reshelved books, of course it did. It was just your luck.

A pop song had played on the radio as you drove in to work and it had gotten stuck in your head, when everything went quiet at the library, you felt the need to sing. And singing, usually led to dancing, reshelving the books was just for something productive to do really.

You had just slid a book back onto the shelf when the song in your head had a melody that seemed perfectly twirl worthy. So, you started twirling. And then you kept twirling, hoping to spin your entire way back to your desk to grab more books. However, before you made it to your desk you slammed straight into someone.

Instead of going tumbling to the ground like you expected, you felt hands on your waist steadying you. Blinking, you looked and found Dick Grayson smiling at you.

Shit.

Heat flushed your cheeks and you're fairly sure you let out a squeak or a squawk in surprise, due to the fact that Jason suddenly began coughing and hitting his chest. That unfortunately made you realize exactly what had just happened.

Twirling and slamming straight into Dick.

Fucking shit.

You felt like an idiot and shame burned bright on your cheeks. You were seconds from going into an all out panic at not only being caught doing your guilty pleasure, but you had seriously embarrassed yourself in front of your crush. A habit that you wished had died in high school.

Almost as if he sensed your panic, Dick instantly let go of you and took a step back. You nodded in thanks, feeling the terror climb up your throat as the thoughts slammed into you.

He's going to think you're too weird, he'll never talk to you again

You tried to push the thoughts back or counter them. It wasn't true, Dick was nice and something as small as catching you twirling wouldn't drive him away right? ....... Oh no, this wasn't good. He was probably never going to forget this, forever remembering you as the bumbling fool who twirled right into him.

As if he'd think of you, The thoughts seethed.

You forced a smile and it was then you realized he had said something to you. He was looking at you expectantly... he had asked you a question. A friendly smile was on his face and you tried to remember what he asked you.

Taking small glances at his face you realized that you had squeaked out a sorry instinctively after slamming into him. But other than that you couldn't recall what he said and even more panic raced over you.

He's going to think your an ass for not listening when he was speaking, it's rude and you are one

Resisting shoving your face into your hands you let out a small sigh and squeezed your eyes shut. If you wanted to answer his question, you were going to have to ask him to repeat it.

You ran through possible excuses and two popped into your head instantly.

Sorry long day, could you repeat that?

What was the question again?

The first one seemed perfect so you opened your mouth to speak and then you met his gaze.

"Sorrylongquestionrepeatthatday?"

He blinked and you saw the confusion on his face and you nearly wince. You knew that you could get it if you tried again.

Unfortunately you were wrong.

"Sorrypleaserepeatthaquestlong."

"What?"

Wincing you put a hand to your face and dragged it across it. Avoiding his gaze with your hands balled into fists you raised your voice slightly.

"Uh. sorry. can. you. please. repeat. the. question?" You remark slowly, pausing to make sure none of the words blur together again.

"Oh, yeah sure. I asked what you were doing that caused you to run into me? It looked like you were having fun, so I got a little curious. "

FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

"Oh uhm, well- uh it's super embarrassing, so I- uh- like- yeah." You stumbled over a reply before holding two thumbs up.

He looked at you confused for a moment before you decide not facing him was the best way to get through this. Moving quickly towards your desk, which was only a few feet away, you internally began planning your own funeral.

Moving behind the desk you sank down into your chair and spun around. Finding the top of a dark head you blinked until you saw the head raise and realized it was just Damian. He looked at your for a few seconds before narrowing his eyes and placing a book on the counter.

"Last time you recommended this book."

Picking up the book you looked at the title and cover. It was a standalone book by an author you rather liked, when the young boy had asked for a recommendation you nearly jumped for joy. Recommending books was one of your favorite things to do as a librarian.

"Yes, did you like it- sorry. Did you enjoy it?" You asked as you flipped through the pages, a habit to make sure nothing was stuck in the book and to keep you calm.

Something you realized with the youngest Wayne, was he preferred to be treated as an adult- or how he thought adults should be treated. So you pretend he was a scholar and talked to him as such. Damian appeared to be happy with the way you treated him and didn't completely hate you so you were content... at least for now.

"It was... adequate. Do you have any other recommendations?"

A smile played on your lips as you set the book down and a calming wave raced over you. Books were the one thing you could talk about and never falter, they were the one thing you knew so much about that you were sure you couldn't mess up talking about it.

"Well this author has multiple books that they've written... what was it about the book that made it... satisfactory? Was it the plot, the characters, or the writing style? Maybe even the genre?"

Damian's brow furrowed and you realized he didn't exactly know what he liked about the book. However, before you could offer to pick out another book for him, the boy nodded and stepped back from your desk.

"I will look into the other novels. Thank you."

He turned and began heading towards the aisles, the smile exploded on your face and you called after him.

"Happy to help."

Less than a minute later, Dick followed Damian shooting you a small smile. You instinctively looked down as your shame from earlier slammed into you yet again. After a minute or two you looked up and noticed how both he and Damian were out of sight. A sigh of relief escaped you and Jason came up to your desk, an eyebrow raised.

"You really fucked that up, you know." He remarked, setting a few books down.

Due to him constantly coming around and talking to you about books, you had become somewhat comfortable around Jason.

Rolling your eyes you waved a hand at him, "Oh buzz off asshole."

With a small smile on his face he raised his hands and shrugged. He apparently found your humiliation amusing, which did not surprise you.

"I'm just saying." Jason said with a mischievous smile on his face.

You gave him an irritated look and replied, "And I'm just saying I never asked."

He blinked almost in surprise and he raised an eyebrow at you and you dropped his gaze. Despite knowing him fairly well you still had a hard time looking him, or anyone else really, in the eyes for long periods of time. There was only really one person you didn’t mind looking in the eyes... and that of course was because it wasn’t his eyes you were looking into, but a mask. Before your thoughts could drift towards your vigilante friend a comment yanked you back into reality.

"Well someone's touchy today."

You gave Jason a look, he was seriously testing your patience today. It was bad enough that he just stood there and laughed as you made a complete fool of yourself in front of your crush. You had expected him to at least help you out a little bit but he didn’t even though he knew how you felt about his brother... Maybe it was because of that.

He smiled at you and that only intensified your anger, you glared at him and he took a step back looking slightly defensive. If there was one thing about yourself you were proud of, it was your glare. You had been told that it scared even the bravest of Gotham’s vigilantes... though now that you think about it that was probably a sarcastic comment.

"Hey,” Jason began leaning onto your desk, “as your friend I felt I should tell you."

Rolling your eyes you shook your head and began checking the book Damian had returned back in, "Of course you did."

Out of the corner of your eye you saw him narrow his eyes and move in closer to the desk. He was giving you a look almost as if he was daring you to say that again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks his voice pitching.

Sometimes, he’s rather sensitive. Shooting him looks out of the corner of your eyes you tried to fight off the smile that was working its way onto your face.

"Take a guess."

He lets out a slight huff and curses under his breath as if he realized you were messing with him. Peeking at him you find Jason shaking his head, a amused-yet-irritated smile on his face. You reached over and grabbed a couple of books in need of reshelving and placed the one you just checked in on top. You stared at the cover of the book at the top of your stack and you realized to reshelf this book you would probably have to see Dick... something that you really didn’t want to do.

Suddenly you replayed what happened in your head and embarrassment washed over you yet again. Fiddling with the pile you bit your lip then you shot Jason a look, hesitating slightly before you finally asked.

"Was I obvious and awkward or just an awkward mess?"

He shrugged as he gave you a look of contemplation. Rubbing his face he remarked, "Well I can't really say because I know you have the hots for him."

Your jaw dropped and you swatted at him, your face turning pink. He ducked away from your hand laughing and you glared at him. You cleared your throat and looked around. Standing no more than three feet away was an old lady you knew by the name of Whitney. She was sweet, but she loved to gossip. And you hardly needed your personal drama- well not drama, love life- it wasn’t really even your love life... you hardly needed personal things out and about, being talked about during Thursday’s bridge club.

The only way you could continue your conversation in any privacy was to walk around and reshelf books. Picking the pile up, you paused to slide the book on top to the bottom, before you began walking towards the aisle. Motioning with your head for Jason to follow you.

“Come on,”

You walked to where the new book on top needed to be reshelved, it just so happened to be on the other side of the library to your relief. You slid the book back where it belonged then set your pile on an empty space on the shelf in front of you. Leaning against the shelf behind you, you grabbed at a loose strand of hair that you missed when pulling it up into a messy bun that morning. Twirling the stay strand around your finger you let out a sigh and looked at Jason. You felt as if you had to explain.

It wasn’t just a minor crush you had, not really. After the whole mess with Daniel you were honestly surprised you could like any man that way again. Yet somehow you found yourself feeling that way about Dick, he was nice and funny, and sweet and- you could go on and on. Letting out a sigh you bit your lip again.

"I do not have the hots for him, I- I-." You stumbled to explain exactly what you were feeling.

"You fancy him?" Jason inquired, a smile quirked on his lips as he leaned in.

You laughed slightly, shaking your head, "Have you been reading Jane Austen again?"

"No,” He replied, his smile slowly fading, “what is it about him that you like?"

“Well,” You began hearing your voice crack slightly.

You didn’t really know how to explain it, and trying would only make you feel like a bitch if you didn’t explain it right.

“I don’t really know how to explain it,” You sighed before you unraveled the strand from your finger and put your hands behind your back, “He’s super nice and sweet and funny. He- he’s nice to me but he doesn’t pity me despite knowing about... despite knowing about what happened with Daniel. I know that I find his presence comforting-”

Jason snorted, then remarked, “So comforting that you can’t speak?”

You let out a scoff and shook your head.

“He’s just so....”

“Ridickulos?” Jason laughed as he shook his head, “I’m sorry I had to do that one. If he found out I didn’t he’d never forgive me.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved Jason before studying the bookshelf in front of you.

“Amazing, he’s fun and cool and- I have a hard time talking around him because- because I think I can’t really compare to him. I mean I’m a mess most of the time, barely able to make a coherent sentence without having to repeat it a bajillion times and yet he doesn’t treat me differently. I get so scared that if and I were to become friends he’d find out how weird I actually am and suddenly not want to be friends with me anymore. Worse when I talk I fear that I’ll say something stupid and the same thing with happen. That he’ll never want to talk to me again and my crush will literally end up crushing me. Even though I know that’s not true. He’s- he’s like everything I need.”

You faintly remember a phrase you had said the moment you realized you liked him. It played in your head as you waited for Jason to respond.

All The Man That I Need

It was fairly true, as far as you could tell he was all the man that you needed. But you didn’t exactly fully know him so you couldn’t definitively say if the statement was correct. It’s a good thing however that you hated definites.

“Well, what about the other guy?”

Other guy? You blinked as you realized what exactly Jason was referring to. You had told him that you were spending time with a vigilante, as friends of course. It was strange to think you had befriended Nightwing without really trying at all. Maybe making friends wasn’t as hard for you as you thought... well it didn’t exactly help that you did see him as a friend however he was, for the longest time, your celebrity crush.

Befriending him was a reality check of sorts, he was a hero, but he was also just a guy. A guy who you surprisingly got along well with. However the reality check also made you realize no matter how awesome he was in person there could never be a relationship with him. He was a vigilante and you could never know his identity. That idea got promptly thrown out when you began to find yourself taking solstice in his visits back when you and Daniel were together.

“I thought I told you,” You began with a sigh, “that it would never work out.”

Jason shrugs and pulls a book off of the shelf examining it. He opens the book and looks at you.

“You did, but I thought it couldn’t hurt to keep your options open.”

Rolling your eyes you leaned over to see that in the book he opened characters were reading from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Jason hums slightly before he closes the book and taps your head with it.

“Reading a lot of Shakespeare recently?” You question instead of protesting, protesting was what he wanted and you were beginning to feel the effects of socializing.

“More or less,” He replied, reshelving the book.

He turned fully to you and a light appeared in his eyes. Jason got a devilish look on his face and you suddenly began to fear what was going to happen next.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

You narrowed your own eyes and shook your head. To many possibilities for what could go wrong, better not, "I’d rather you didn't."

Jason leaned in, his eyes glittering as if he had a plan formulating in his head and in your experience Jason’s plans never went well. However before you could reaffirm your decision he commented, “Might make him jealous."

You blinked a few times, the idea seemed interesting. It was tempting as hell until the little voices, the negative Nancy’s as your mother used to call them, began to speak up.

As if he’d ever be jealous over you

He has to like you in the first place, he probably thinks you’re a freaky weirdo.

You swallowed trying to not let the harsh thoughts hurt as much as they actually did. Shaking your head you shot Jason a grateful smile.

"No, it's okay,” You paused as an idea popped into your head, “But I could compare you to a summer's day."

Surprise was frozen on his face for half a second before he snorted and rolled his eyes. He gave you a look before replying, "Eh, well I don't think it is accurate."

".... You could compare him to a summer's day." You said before you could think it through.

Without even missing a beat Jason replied, "Or you could,"

No, you couldn’t. If you tried, even though he wasn’t actually there, you’d probably combust due to embarrassment and it would be just your luck if he just so happened to be walking up as you did it. Anyways you weren’t very good with sonnets. Poetry and rhymes were a bit easier but regardless it just wasn’t your thing.

"I’ve never really been one for sonnets, Besides it'd be more accurate if you did it." You informed him with a shrug.

"Of course it would."

His words were a bit sharp, as if something was bothering him. You decided to ignore it considering that it wasn’t really your business. However what he said was a challenge in itself. He was basically saying you were chickening out. He wasn’t wrong but he had no right to call you on it.

"Are you implying what I think you are?" You asked, trying to keep your tone light.

“Probably.” He shrugged, smiling that devilish, his voice softer than before.

Narrowing your eyes you crossed your arms and remarked, “For the sake of this friendship, I’m going to disregard that comment.”

His eyes lit up once again and you realized you gave him what he wanted, while you didn’t know what it was for you did know what it was. An opening.

“And for the sake of this friendship I am going to compare you to a summer’s day.”

This was probably going to be the funniest or dirtiest thing you heard this week, and you honestly didn’t mind. You were getting exhausted and needed a good laugh. As they always say, laughter is the best medicine.

“Oh no,” You replied, pretending to tremble while weakly laughing.

Ignoring your comment, he held his arms out towards you before he dramatically declared, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

Without hesitation you deadpanned, “No,”

He shot you a glare, taking a step forwards before getting the dramatic look on his face again, gazing past you he took in a breath.

“Thou art more hot and more smelly.”

You laughed slightly before he shot you a chastising look and continued,

“Rough farts do shake the tiny arm hairs of me,”

Giggles began to build up your throat, but you pushed them back as Jason waved his hands around the air almost as if he was trying to swat a fly.

He took in a breath and looked directly at you, “And summer’s air hath all to gross a smell,”

Pressing a hand to your face you shove back your laughter and you nod at him a few times. His face is frozen, his hands hanging limply at his sides and you realize he’s stuck. Shaking your head you wait a moment when an idea for the next line pops into your head.

“Sometime too wet the back of my neck shines?”

His face lights up and he smiles at you before remarking, “Oooo good one.”

Slipping back into the dramatic, Shakespearean crack actor he holds his hands out again. Forming his face into what you can only assume is a regal expression he continues,

“Sometime too wet the back of my neck shines.... and often is it’s slick complexion....”

He paused for another moment and began snapping his fingers as if the word was on the tip of his tongue.

“Dried.” You piped up nearly biting back laughter.

Pointing a finger at you he exclaims, “Yes!”

Jumping back once again into the persona he shoots you a wink out of the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes as giggles escape you.

“And often is it’s slick complexion dried. And every fly from fly sometime declines.”

You give him a look, laughter fighting to be released before shaking your head and shaking your hands.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

Jason swats at you not breaking his gaze, he had locked in on something behind you and you hoped it wasn’t a person, “Hush, I’m not done.”

You snorted and then let out a cough to try and subdue the oncoming barrels of laughter that were threatening to explode from you.

“By swat or by swatter’s shrieking ass stumbling.”

That was the last straw, giggles, cackles and chortles escaped from you and you pressed your hand to the shelf behind you to stay standing.

“Oh my fucking gosh- stop- please.” You wheezed in-between your laughter.

Jason gave you a look and you tried to stop yourself from cackling.

He waited until you had quieted down a bit to ask, “Should I do the next line?”

“NO! NO, I can’t take- I couldn’t make it through another.” You exclaimed shaking your head.

Letting out a sigh Jason shot you a look that looked a little bit to much like pout for you to take seriously.

“Can I at least say the best lines?”

“You’ve thought that far ahead?”

“Yes,”

Giggling slightly you sighed then nodded, “Fine.”

Slipping back into the Shakespearean actor persona he held his hand out almost exactly mimicking the classic Hamlet pose. The mere action of him going back into the act had you giggling again. He opened his mouth, covering your own with your hand to stop yourself from interrupting him anymore; you let out a slight snort. He stepped forwards and you pressed yourself against the shelves to get a better view of him.

“When in eternal thighs to highs thou grow’st.”

A mixture between a wheeze and squeak escapes you and you have to squeeze your hand over your mouth and nose to stop yourself from cackling again. From where you stood, you could see Jason’s eyes glowing almost as if he found this amusing as you found the new sonnet funny.

“So long as men can’t breathe,” He remarked, “or bi’s can’t pee.”

Another hybrid of a sound escaped you and you could see his shoulders shaking. He straightened himself out and began to finish,

“So long lives the bitch that gives fuck’s not to thee-”

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like the other lines where it practically mirrored the syllables of the original line, the new last line was a mess.

“That’s not rig-” You protested as you fought off a grin.

Suddenly his hand was covering your mouth and you gave him a shocked look that momentarily stopped your laughter. After the shock left the laughter returned in ten-fold. Giggles escape you and you tried your hardest not to meet his gaze however you couldn’t help yourself, looking Jason in the eyes you saw how serious he was and you giggled even more. He removed his hand and you bit your lip to stop yourself from snorting again, it was the laugh of yours you hated the most, made you feel a little too much like a pig.

Jason looked beside you and you were thankful, though he could be an ass sometimes he was nice enough to try and help prevent your anxiety or at least make it less intense. Your body began to shake as you fought off any and all laughter. You needed him to get through all of it so he wouldn’t repeat it. Covering your mouth with both hands you pressed against the shelves and squeezed your eyes shut

“As I was saying,” He remarked, “So long lives the bitch that gives fuck’s not to thee... and scene.”

Peeking an eye open you find Jason bowing and you lose it, your hands barely make it away from your face before you explode into a fit of snorts that don’t seem to stop. Your body begins to bend and you begin caving in on yourself, letting your head hang down you continue to laugh and snort. Rising back up you press a hand to your chest in a hope to make the laughter stop but it is in vain. You felt your cheeks flushing and your blood rushing to your face as you tried to quiet down.

Jason smiled and you took a breath before giggling relentlessly. Shaking your head you realized despite how funny it was you did have some critiques.

“Can you say that stuff about bi’s?” You asked your breath nearly hiccupping as you snickered.

He shrugged before pressing a hand to the bookshelf right by your head and winking, “I am bi so I can say whatever the hell I want.”

“All-righty then, kiddo.” You nodded snorting as you moved your hand from your chest.

Suddenly someone walks up however they speak before you can turn, “Hey guys, what you talking about?”

Something about the tone was off to you, you didn’t know exactly what but you knew that whoever the person was, they weren’t happy.

Simultaneously both you and Jason say, “Nothing.”

Giggling again you smile at Jason and look over to find Damian and Dick. Usually panic would flood you and slowly it was, however you still had laughter floating around your chest and it was slowly escaping you like a leaky faucet.

Damian narrowed his eyes, “You were talking about me weren’t you?”

For a moment you were confused until you blinked, realizing that he thought the two of you were laughing at him. Thinking for half a moment about what you were doing made more laughter push through. However it’s not only normal laughter but scared laughter. It was something you noticed in the middle of your junior year, when in moments of high fear or panic where you didn’t know what to do, you laughed.

“N-no.,” You tried to start, but upon seeing Damian’s upset face terrified giggles stopped you, “we- we weren’t talk-talking about you.”

Jason cleared his throat and you had flashbacks to when he was beginning the sonnet, a snort bubbled from you. It was loud and very pig-like causing your entire face to turn a brighter red than it already was.

"We might be,” Jason said, “whatch-ya gonna do about it pipsqueak?"

The tone he had made the laughter begin to die in your chest, you knew that Jason and Damian didn’t get along well most of the time. You just didn’t know why, some days they seemed fairly close other days it seemed like they would rip each other’s throats out.

"I'll make you stop Todd." Damian seethed and your laughter vanished with one last hybrid squeaking snort.

Moving away from you, Jason took a few steps towards Damian, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I'd like to see you try gremlin."

"Stop calling me names Todd."

Jason laughed and looked back at you, you shot him a warning look but he ignored you, "Or what short-stack? You gonna bite my ankles?"

"Jason-" Dick began when Damian interrupted him with a snarl.

"Go on, keep calling me names, see what happens."

The two boys were closer now, a mere three feet away from each other. Without even thinking it through you stepped in between them and raised your hands as if to push both of them away from each other. Shooting them both a reprimanding glare you watched as the fight died from both of them pretty quickly.

Sighing in relief you lowered your hands and nodded before noting the stack of books that needed to be reshelved on the shelf almost gathering dust.

“Alright boys, behave now. I’m going to go and reshelf the rest of these books. When I return I expect the two of you to be getting along, or else.” You remarked moving towards the books.

Jason stepped out of your way and seemed to understand the entirety of your threat, Damian on the other hand didn't.

“Or else what?” He asked his eyes narrowed

Picking up the books you turned back to him and raised an eyebrow, “Do you really want to know?”

His shoulders sank down and Damian fully backed down. He looked away form you and you nodded satisfied. Turning you left to go reshelf the books. You got down to the last one when a young girl stopped you.

She looked up at you with big eyes and asked, “Do you have any books I could read?”

You stared at her sweet face for a moment before pulling a book off of the shelf and handing it to her. She took the book with a bright smile on her face and she turned and left. Staring at the last book in your hand you slid it back where it belonged and spun around.

Instead of finding a bunch of shelves you found Dick standing behind you, internally you screamed and you felt your eyes widen instinctively. He smiled and leaned in towards you.

"Have any recommendations for me?" He asked

Panic washed over you and it was suddenly hard to breathe, you loved to recommend books but him asking was like someone asking to see your diary.

Fumbling for words you replied, "Uh-I- uh well- what. do. you. like?

It was then that you realized Dick was here with you, which meant that the boys were left alone. Alone and unattended, while of course that could be a good thing. It also meant that they could trash the library, Jason could tell Damian about your crush, the small boy had a habit of blurting out things he found not secret keeping worthy!

Giving Dick a worried look you stepped forwards and rushed to ask him, if he did in fact leave them alone,

"watdidyaeveemown?"

“I’m sorry what?” He gave you a very confused look.

“Did you leave them alone?!” You nearly shrieked as panic overtook your body.

“Uh yeah.”

“SHIT.”

Turning you ran down two aisles back to where Damian and Jason were. Surprisingly instead of finding them in an all out battle you found them cackling.

"You- you are amazing. And so fucking dense." Jason breathed out in between his laughter.

"What?" You asked completely and totally surprised as the panic began to slip away from you.

"Nothing, nothing at all Y/N." He sighed wiping imaginary tears.

You were astonished and confused, how could they do that? Go from being at each others throats ready for blood to buddies in less then ten minutes? Shaking your head you let out a sigh and went to turn around when you spotted Dick in the corner of your eye. You then remembered he asked for a recommendation and were thankful you had an excuse to run away.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to recommend a book but more as it was hard to think straight around him. Your brain turned to mush and it was hard for you to bring any good books to mind. Looking at the shelf across form you, you spotted an old favorite of yours. Throughout all of high school it was your comfort book and it might just be the perfect book for him.

Yanking it off the shelf you turned and held it out to him. He took it from you smiling slightly as though he was extremely confused but wanted to be polite.

“What’s this for?” He asked

“Gookbood.” You mumbled out after you accidentally met his gaze.

You were stuck, of course you had the option to look away, however if you did you’d only feel even more embarrassed, if you kept looking however.. let’s just say you think it’d be bad for your health.

“What?” Dick asked leaning forwards clearly trying to hear you better.

“Bokgood-” You began before you realized you messed up only to try again, “Ookkbod.”

Slamming your eyes shut you clenched your fists and nearly yelled, “GOOD BOOK.”

With that you kept your eyes closed and turned walking away as Damian and Jason cackle at you. Probably at your inability to even form coherent sentences. Instead of heading back towards your desk you moved past it into the backroom, gathering your things as fast as you could you headed towards the front desk. Upon seeing you, Marian, the head library gave you a worried look.

“Everything alright Y/N?”

“Uh, yeah I’m just gonna end my shift early.”

“You’re shift has been over for an hour dear... though you usually stay till closing...” Her tone told you that she was worried.

Closing your eyes again you winced but then you heard Marian sigh and you peeked an eye open seeing her typing something in her computer.

“If any one asks...” You began before wincing again as the thoughts hit you.

As if they would

“If anyone asks, I’m not feeling well. Alright?”

Marian nodded a small smile on her face as she looked at something in one of the aisles, "Go on Y/N, have a good weekend. I’ll see you again on Monday.”

She waved you along and you hurried out the door. Before you could even make it to the parking lot you spotted one of the libraries regulars. Mira, was a few years younger then you and very excited about books. Unknown to her and probably himself, Jason had taken a shining to her.

Upon seeing you her eyes lit up and she hurried over to you. Smiling brightly Mira enthusiastically greeted you.

“Hi, Y/N. I know you’re probably about to head home but I just wanted to tell you I loved the book you recommended and say hi.”

Her face was it’s natural pink and she seemed to realized how much you were freaking out. Her smile slid from her face and she reached out a hand as if to try and comfort you before she put it back down.

“Are you okay?”

You didn’t exactly know what to say. While Mira was a constant and almost as close a friend to you as Jason was, you couldn’t exactly tell her what was going on.

With a weary sigh you turned back towards the doors to see Dick, Jason and Damian walking out them. Even more panic raced over you as they spotted you and Mira.

Mira hummed slightly before patting your arm and turning towards the boys, they began to approach. They were only a couple of a feet away when Mira stopped them.

“Hi,” She said grinning brightly, “I’m Mirabilis Cadman, but everyone calls me Mira. It’s nice to meet you.”

You watched for a moment as Dick hesitated, Damian gave Mira a scrutinizing look and Jason, well Jason seemed to be completely unaffected however you knew better. Mira held her hand out to Dick and he shook it.

“Hey, I’m Dick Grayson. This is my little brother Damian. Pleasure to meet you.” He replied smiling

For a moment a strange look crossed Mira’s face her smile faltering then she blinked and looked to Damian for a moment. Then she noted the book he was carrying. Smiling again she also held her hand out to him.

Shooting him a wink she remarked, “Good choice, glad to see one of you has taste.”

It was then that you remembered how one night after Mira had volunteered to help you clean up the library after a long day of elementary school classes coming in you had told her of your crush on Dick Grayson and how it seemed that, at the time he was ignoring you.

Fuck

Meanwhile Jason was trying to hide cackles behind coughs. Hitting his chest twice he gives Mira a amused look before he held his hand out to her. Once she took it he said,

“Sup, Jason, Jason Todd.”

Mira blinked twice, confusion was clear on her face for a moment before she shrugged and let go of his hand. Looking away from the two of them you noticed how Dick was staring at you.

Shit.

Mira eventually caught his line of sight and you watched as her eyes widened slightly. She kept the smile on her face though. Dick gestured to you and began to speak, “We need Y/N, she is just-”

“She isn’t feeling well,” Mira explained and you noted the hand behind her back waving for some reason, “But, I’d be happy to help you out in anyway I can. I know this library like the back of my hand. I spend a lot of time here... maybe too much time.”

You watched as she continued to wave and realized she was signaling you to leave. She was helping with your get away. As you hurried towards the parking lot and your car you know one thing for sure. You owed her big-time.

It didn’t take you long to get to your car, as you fumbled with your keys you came to a realization.

You recommended him, Dick Grayson, a book. He frequently came to the library and sometimes tried to talk to you. He would want to talk to you about the book. Which meant the possibility of embarrassing yourself in front of him again, and no Mira to save you.

Fucking shit

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Insomnia was a bitch, but it wasn’t just anyone’s bitch it was anxiety’s bitch... then again so were you.

It was probably close to three a.m. when you decided you were hungry and climbed out of your very warm bed to wander into the kitchen. Unfortunately flies had beat you there, while there was only two or three, but they annoyed the hell out of you. Picking up the fly swatter you spotted a fly a few feet away from you and you lunged forwards swinging your arms and legs. You slapped at the fly and successfully hit it. Pretending to bow to a cheering crowd you mouthed ‘thank you, thank you.’

Standing up straight you held your fly swatter like a blade and a thought popped into your head.

Ninja, fly ninja, you are the fly ninja.

Jumping around as you let out soft hi-yah’s and other ninja noises you tried and failed to hit the two flies. Creeping up on one of the flies you swung the flyswatter out and smacked it into the wall. Jumping and doing a side kick you remarked,

“Hoi-yah! Take that fly! No one can best me. Because I’m The fly ninja.”

It was then you heard the chuckling. Blinking you turned and found standing in your kitchen in his blue and black glory, your friend, Nightwing. The thoughts slammed into you as you found yourself stumbling back towards your couch.

He just saw you looking like a fucking idiot, you are never going to live this one down

However instead of freaking out, when you saw the incredibly amused look on his face you found yourself irritated. You froze for just a moment before you grabbed a pillow and chucked it at him. He dodged it with a laugh.

“Wouldn't ninja fly be better.... wait no that's a fly who is a ninja,” he mused while laughing and dodging yet another pillow you threw.

He thinks your weird, he’s probably laughing at yo-

“You,” Nightwing said, yanking you out of the thoughts, “have the worst taste in cereal.”

Blinking you found him standing in front of one of your cupboards, crossing your arms you gave him a look and he closed the cupboard. Turning towards you he leaned against the counter with one hand, effectively blocking your way into the kitchen.

“Just to let you know.”

Rolling your eyes you snorted, then pushed past him to get into your kitchen. Yanking a cup from your cupboard you walk over to the electric kettle and fill it with water before turning it on and placing the mug next to it.

"You,” You began as you walked back out of the kitchen, ”break into people's apartments in the middle of the night, what right do you have to judge my cereal?"

He snorted and rested his elbows on your counter. Behind him Red Robin slipped into your kitchen and began raiding your cabinets for coffee, which as of late, was normal.

“True, but do I really deserve such scorn from the fly ninja?”

Behind Nightwing you see Red Robin pause and turn towards you. He mouths ‘fly ninja?’ tilting his head in confusion. Biting your lip to hold back laughter you smiled and then shrugged. He nodded and turned back to raiding your cabinets.

Looking at Nightwing you raised an eyebrow and then rested your elbows on your counter before placing your face in your hands.

“You broke into my apartment, startled me. Insulted my ninja abilities and then you insulted my cereal choices. So yes, I do believe you deserve my scorn.”

Nightwing held up a hand in disagreement as he shook his head. Behind him the electric kettle steamed then clicked off, “I did not insult your ninja skills. I- I was admiring them.”

Narrowing your eyes you fought off a grin as you replied, “So you say.”

Usually you would be worried saying stuff like this to even the closest of your friends, however, despite your sometimes snarky remarks and extreme weirdness Nightwing continued to come and visit you. Which told you that it didn’t matter how weird or much yourself you were he wouldn’t leave... or at least you hopped so.

Taking on a playful tone he remarked, "Well someone's grumpy."

Holding up a hand you waved it at him as Red Robin grabbed a mug and began pouring the water into it, the instant coffee right next to him.

"Listen- listen I haven't had my tea yet."

Nightwing blinked once and then he pushed off of the counter and he laughed slightly. It took you a minute to realize he was confused and a little nervous.

“You don't drink coffee?"

"Caffeine and I don't get along." You said with a shrug.

This only seemed to confuse him more, he shook his head and looked at you slightly astonished before he asked, “Then why do you have so much of it?”

Smiling, you met his gaze and pointed behind him, “Turn around.”

Turning he looked and saw Red Robin stirring a cup of coffee. He paused and watched with you as Red Robin pulled a small energy drink from his belt and he poured it into the cup. Nightwing walks over to him and picks up the mug from his body language; it looked as if he was giving Red Robin a scolding look.

"You know this is probably gonna kill you right?"

Red Robin shrugs and replies, "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

A giggle escaped you and both Nightwing and Red Robin turned towards you. You cleared your throat as Nightwing smiled and Red Robin looked at the two of you. A strange expression passed his face before he shook his head and headed for the fire escape.

“You owe me a new mug.” You remarked pointing a finger at him.

Nightwing looked startled then he gestured to the fire escape exclaiming, “No, he does.”

You shrugged as you headed into the kitchen “He’s your underling.”

“Red Robin is not my underling.”

Though you couldn’t see him you could hear his tone. He sounded offended and a little upset. From this you could tell that he respected or at least had a lot of respect for Red Robin.

A memory tickles the back of your mind, someone calling Red Robin little bird. You didn’t exactly remember who but your bet was on Nightwing.

“Fine, he’s your little bird. Isn’t that what you call him?” You remarked with a shrug.

“no.”

You blinked a few times and sighed, “Oh, well anyways he’s still a kid and if he drinks that much coffee I doubt he could actually get me a new mug. I mean he literally has to steal coffee from here... maybe I should get disposable cups.”

A surprised look crossed his face, “Wait, he does this often?”

“Yeah, but usually he drinks all of the coffee and leaves the mug.”

Nightwing hums and he nods as if was contemplating something. Maybe it was why Red Robin did what he did or maybe it was something else.

“Huh, he must like you if he keeps coming back.”

Letting out a snort you nodded before sarcastically remarking, “Or he likes the coffee.”

Not understanding you were using sarcasm, Nightwing shook his head, a fairly serious look on his face, “It’s instant coffee I doubt it can be that good... It’s a high honor to be liked by Red Robin.”

“Sure it is...” You rolled your eyes not fully believing him, before you could stop yourself you said, “no one likes me, or at least they shouldn’t”

"Well I like you."

You blinked and looked over to him, he was giving you an innocent look and you blinked again. You couldn’t have heard what you just did right? People wouldn’t tell someone- they wouldn’t tell you they liked you to your face... right?

"Wait, did you just say what I think you said?"

A smile appeared on his face and he nodded slowly, “Yes, I did in fact say that I like you."

He likes you, he just said so, and repeated what he said. So, he must really mean it, truly mean it. Before you were going about in unknowing and now the reality of everything hit you.

Of course you were aware people who were your friends liked you, but no one had really ever said it to your face. You were shocked and a little embarrassed.

"Oh."

A sly grin appeared on Nightwing’s face and he leaned in towards you continuing, “You are the fly ninja after all.”

"Oh my gosh.” You replied as you shoved your face into your hands trying your hardest not to laugh.

“By the way I’ve been meaning to ask you the fly ninja to all flies or just certain ones?”

You closed your eyes, shaking your head as laughter bubbled up in your lungs. Nightwing ignored your attempts at withholding giggles and continued.

“Like is it only fruit flies and the ones that hover around bananas or?”

Biting your lip you pulled away from your hands your face red, forcing the laughter back you looked him dead in the eyes and replied, “All flies obviously, I’m not discriminatory.”

He smiled and laughed. Silence cleaved the air and you felt nervous tension arise in you.

Quickly clambering for a topic to talk about you asked, “What were we talking about again?”

“About how I find you very a-peeling.”

You hesitated for a moment before giving him a disbelieving look. You shook your head, “... did you just- no. I’m not gonna, no.”

Pretending it never happened, you look away from him and move towards your couch leaning against it you let out a sigh.

“Read any good books lately.” Nightwing asks from your kitchen, a clatter of sorts following him, most likely he was raiding your cabinets as well.

“Of course,” You sighed, working as a librarian meant that you always had a good book, “What about you?”

Almost chuckling he replies, “Well I’m reading a book about anti-gravity... It’s impossible to put down.”

“That’s terrible.” You smiled, shaking your head trying not to laugh as well.

“Oh I know.” He laughed.

With a sigh you looked over your shoulder momentarily to see him looking into one of your cabinets. Not wanting things to go silent you decided to ask a safe question that will continue the conversation at least for a little while.

“How was your day?”

“It wasn’t too bad,” He began and something in his tone made you narrow your eyes, “Somebody stole all of my lamps. I couldn’t be more de-lighted. And this morning I wanted to take pictures of the fog but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow.”

Biting back laughter you turned away from him, placing your face into your hands, “Stop. These puns are too cheesy.”

“But I thought they were gouda.”

You froze rolling your eyes as a slight snort escaped you, “Dude.”

“It’s cheddar if you don’t get mad.” He continued.

Shaking your head again you closed your eyes trying your hardest to tune him out before you burst into a fit of laughter once again.

“I swiss you had the same humor as me. I won’t provolone this anymore. After all, I havarti taken this too far.” Nightwing snorted laughing as he made pun after pun.

“Oh ma gosh.”

Looking towards the ceiling you fought off a grin and the laughter, the tired laughter that was building up in your chest.

“I colby a better parmesan and stop all these cheesy pins but I ricotta continue.”

Before you could stop yourself laughter escaped you as you turned towards him again to see him looking at you with a mischievous smile on his face. You laugh a little harder and his smile widens, “Brie the way, how was your day today? I saga know.”

Letting out a snort, you smiled at him and decided to try a pun yourself, “That wasn’t very puny.”

For a moment a look of surprise crossed his face before a grin broke out across it and you felt your heart do a strange little fluttering jump.

Shaking his head he laughed, remarking, “Oh! That’s terrible, I love it.”

Your heart did an even bigger fluttering jump and you looked away from him. You didn’t exactly like what was happening. But you knew. Trying to change the subject before your heart fluttered again you moved around the arm of the couch and sat down.

“How was your day actually though?”

“Eh.”

You froze for a moment, it was a rare occasion in which Nightwing only said one worded replies. Usually it meant there was something he didn’t want to talk about or something he really wanted to vent about or ask advice about.

Not even turning towards him you stuck your hands under your legs and swung them slightly.

“Eh? Why eh?”

There was a pause, almost as if he was hesitant to reply, but then after a breath and silence filling the room making it slightly awkward he replied, “Girl troubles.”

This didn't really surprise you. Girl troubles were common amongst your guy friends, and since you were one of the very few girls who they didn’t ever plan on dating you were used to giving advice. However a strange sort of ache began in your chest and you felt hurt.

Just a friend, The thoughts whisper almost menacingly, he just sees you as a friend.

Ignoring the ache and the vile thoughts nipping at the back of your mind you raised an eyebrow and turned over your shoulder smiling playfully at him.

“Oooo do you like someone, as a civilian?... Wait, no, you like a civilian.” You corrected yourself, blinking a few times as you finally began to feel tired.

Instead of a reply, at first you hear the door to one of your cabinets open with a loud squeak. A rustling for a moment then the cabinet creaking closed. He was stealing your food. A soft smile and feeling appeared and you brought your legs up to your chest. Placing your chin on the dip in between your knees you sighed.

Honestly you didn’t mind but, it frustrated you a little though, that you were always going to be the best friend never the girl boys fell for. You were for friendship, not dating. Something you were beginning to wish you realized just a little bit earlier, maybe this would then all be easier.

“Yes,” Nightwing finally replied, “and it was just so frustrating because it seems like she hates me and likes my brother.”

You blinked and for a moment you thought about looking towards him, but you knew if he did he’d realize what he said. You had to approach this carefully, wrapping your arms around your legs you hum slightly before asking somewhat casually,

“Oh wait, you have a brother?”

“Ye-,” You practically see him nodding before he stopped himself.

Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to push your luck just a bit .

“It's one of the vigilantes isn’t it.”

Silence followed your question and you looked over to see him giving you a look. A look that said to stop talking, not to press further because you were hitting the nail on the head.

A smile of disbelief appeared on your face and you pulled away from your legs, eyes wide.

“Oh my gosh they are all your siblings aren’t they? But obviously they’re adopted. I know Signal’s black, I’m ninety-nine percent sure there was a blonde batgirl and a red-head, Blue Bird literally doesn’t look like any of you, and no one is able to see Black Bat’s face. Oh and don’t get me started on the Robin brigade.”

As you began rambling your hands flew around your face in a flurry of motion. The vigilantes were one of your favorite non-book things to talk about. Mainly because of the one in your kitchen but you really weren’t going to ever get into that... hopefully.

“You’re not wrong, “He sighed before pausing, “...Robin brigade?”

“I’m not getting into it.” You shook your head turning back away from him.

You weren’t about to tell him how ever since the first Robin came into play you like the vigilantes. Not about your opinions and theories, especially not when a lot of them were about him. Waving away the question you decided to change the subject.

“Anyways back to your girl problems. Why do you think she hates you?”

You could hear him munching on something as he probably contemplated how to explain the problem to you, “Well she never talks to me willingly, and when she does she always mutters or ends up sounding really angry.”

Twirling a strand of hair around your finger, you thought for a moment about what he said. It sounded a lot like what happens to you. Maybe this girl that he likes, also has anxiety and likes him, or it might just be because he makes her nervous.

“She might just like you dumbass,” You snorted, rolling your eyes, “I know that’s how it is for me. I mean with the guy I like-, I can’t even say one word without messing it up. So I have to slow it down. ”

You heard more munching and the crinkling of a bag before he mused, “Hmm, you think so?”

“Yeah, or you just make her really nervous.”

It was more than likely, for you it was both which only made matters more complicated and frustrating. Sometimes you wished you were normal, then this wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“Makes sense... by the way do you think if you practiced you could talk to him?”

Practice? You had tried practicing in the past, but whenever you tried to talk to him your anxiety took hold of your mouth and you spat out a word jumble instead of what you really wanted to say.

“Probably not, my anxiety always freaks me out telling me that I’m gonna say the wrong thing and scare him away because I’m too weird or something.”

He walked passed you into the living room before flopping down on your couch. You notice the bad and his hands and for the moment you decided to ignore it.

“Well just think about it this way, you’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you.”

You paused for a moment. and looked over at him in slight disbelief, “You think I’m cool?”

“The coolest.” He replied smiling at you.

It was then that you noticed the bag he had was your Cheetos. While you didn’t mind, at the moment you felt... awkward. Standing up you walked over towards him and flopped down next to him. You needed someway to feel less awkward without sounding like a bitch... then you got an idea

“Aww, that's sweet...” You began turning towards him with a smile, “but if you take my fucking Cheetos again we’re through.”

For a moment you think you’ve made things worse until Nightwing bursts into laughter. Shaking his head he sighed and passed the bag over to you, with the bag now in your hands you looked over to him and took a moment to think over what he said.

You’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you

Sighing you sat down next to him and rested your head on his shoulder, pulling a small handful you ate some Cheetos then offered them to him. He began taking some.

Was he telling the truth? Or just trying to make you feel better by saying that. Not knowing which was correct you felt you had to ask him.

“Do you really think that he wouldn’t deserve me if I make a fool of myself?” You asked as you felt him wrap an arm around your shoulder.

You heard him hesitate before you looked up to see him giving you a contemplating look.

“If you make a fool of yourself he should be saying something like... like. I think- I think I might just love you a little bit.”

Snorting you rolled your eyes, looked away and remarked without thinking, “Sure he should because unintelligible gibberish is the way to a man’s heart.”

“If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute. I know I do.”

You knew he was flirting with you, you knew because it was something he did regularly. Something that was common with his personality. He constantly, he was never serious of course, that much you knew. So when you looked up at him slightly snorting to see him staring at you a soft and serious look on his face your heart did the fluttery jump and your stomach flipped.

Fucking shit

Looking away from him you felt your cheeks beginning to flush red. He was nice, he helped you feel a little less like an asshole, less like a bitch, more like a person. A good person. He made you feel cared for... and- and loved. He was amazing and a lot like All the man you’ll ever need-

Wait, no. No. It couldn’t be like that- no. He was hero- a vigilante. You would never be able to know his real identity. You wouldn’t ever actually able to be with him. No matter what your heart felt, no matter how spilt it was you couldn’t even entertain the thought.

His voice yanked you from your spiraling train of thought and you blinked. Giving you a soft smile he asked the question again.

“How was your day?”

Happy to not have to think about your feelings again you raised your head off of his shoulder and turned to him. Fully prepared to rant and bare your soul.

“Rough, honestly I made a complete and utter fucking fool of myself. I mean I panicked so much and I laughed, I full on laughed out loud. Cackled even, at the library. I never do that, and to make matters worse my crush, he asked for a book recommendation and I realized that he left his brothers, the two most chaotic people I know alone with each other and I panicked.”

You were talking quickly, shaking your head as the words stumbled from you, embarrassment following it. For a moment Nightwing was nodding as if he understood when suddenly he sat up straight, looking at you slightly confused.

“Wait, wait. What happened?” He asked an eyebrow raised.

“Well he asked me for a book recommendation and I realized that he left his brothers alone and I panicked and cursed at him before running back to make sure they weren’t trashing the library.” You explained again waving your hands about yawning afterwards.

He blinked twice then gave you a shocked look for a moment, “Your crush? Wait, he asked for a book recommendation?”

“Yeah! And then I realized that his brothers-”

Before you could finish he interrupted you a strange look on his face, “Did he say anything else?”

Blinking in confusion you raised an eyebrow thinking over what he said, then you shook your head, “What? Oh uh no I don’t think so.”

“Hmm,” He hummed slightly a smile on his face before he relaxed back onto the couch, “okay.”

Feeling confused and a little worried, you wanted to talk about how he was acting weird but didn’t know how. So you decided to continue talking about your day.

“Well after seriously embarrassing myself by going that I fumbled over my words while trying to give him a book. Then I decided to flee so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. I was like five minute away from leaving when a regular- Mira- I’ve talked about her before. Well she came and started talking to me, I swear that give has like a sixth sense because she instantly knew I was freaking out and was able to help me avoid my crush and his brothers... speaking of brothers. I’m like ninety-nine percent sure one of them likes her, or at least is interested.”

Nightwing was smiling and he had an amused look on his face as if something was very interesting. Chuckling he looked to you seeing the confusion on your face he sighed before nodding.

“Interesting...sorry but somethings on my mind. When you start to have an anxiety attack or think about something can you accidentally tune stuff out?” He asked eyebrows raised

You blinked a few times before nodding and leaning against the couch once again.

“Oh, uh yeah. Sometimes I’m spiraling into an anxiety attack or anxious thoughts I accidentally tune people out... well what happens is that the thoughts overpower my ears.” You nodded with another yawn.

He nodded and gave you a strange sort of look, you were having a hard time focusing, blinking you kept your eyes open. Rubbing at your eyes you sighed.

“Tell me about your brother’s fuck ups on patrol, I need a good laugh.” You muttered as you held back a yawn.

“Okay then,” He replied laughing slightly.

Leaning against his shoulder again you grunted slightly. After your long day you were finally feeling tired, tired and safe. Nightwing was saying something to you, but you were having a hard time paying attention. Your eyes kept fluttering shut and before you knew it you were asleep.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

A few days later, you were in the library at your desk going about your daily routine when you spotted Jason in an aisle of book inspecting the pages of a heavy chapter book. Before you could spot any of the other Wayne boys Mira appeared in your peripheral vision a book in her hand and a smile on her face.

“Okay, before you stop me I just want to say this book is amazing and when you have the time I want to talk to you about it because I need to talk to someone. All the people in my apartment complex are like fifty and above, married or five and under.” She paused for a moment a look of realization crossing her face, “Of course married people aren’t hard to talk to it’s just they don’t want to talk to me and I’m rambling sorry.”

You almost laughed, Mira seemed flustered, something you hadn’t seen ever. The ends of her hair were peeking out of her black hat in an array of different shades of purple. With flushed cheeks and her hazel eyes wide, Mira looked like something was bugging her.

Leaning on the counter you let out a sigh, but noticed Jason approach towards your desk. A sly smile of sorts appeared on your face. If Jason was in fact interested in Mira a little push wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Unfortunately,” You began with a heavy sigh, “I don’t think I’ll be able to talk for a while... however, I’m sure Jason wouldn’t mind talking to you about it. He was actually the one who got me on the book.”

You gestured to Jason now stood behind Mira. For a moment, Mira froze before turning around, a tight smile on her face. She shot you a slight look of panic before she let out a breath and nodded.

“Uh, if your willing.”

Jason smiled at her and nodded. She nodded as well before giving you a quick wave goodbye. Watching them go you noticed how Mira stopped in an aisle still in your eye-line and sat down on the ground. Without even questioning it, Jason sat across from her.

The library was quiet enough that you didn’t really need to strain yourself to hear what the two of them were saying. You watched as Mira opened the book, hearing Jason say,

“So about the other night-”

Before he could even finish Mira interrupted him her cheeks and ears flushing a dark shade of red, “I’d prefer not to talk about it please.”

Nodding Jason let out a slight sigh before replying, “Alright.”

You were curious on what exactly had happened between the two of them, but before you could give another thought to it Damian walked up a stack of books in his arms. Raising an eyebrow you gave him a look,

“Starting a project of sorts?” You questioned as you began to check the books out to him.

Damian let out a slight huff before he nodded, “Father said I couldn’t get another pet until I know how to properly take care of it.”

You paused for a moment to look at the books, they were non-fiction books about a variety of different animals. Spanning from monkeys all the way to squirrels. Shaking your head you bit back a laugh as you imagined Bruce Wayne’s face when Damian brought in all the animals.

“Hmm, I think there might be some more books about animal care in aisle five.” You remarked off handedly noting the gleam in Damian’s eye.

“Really now?”

You nodded as you began to set the books to the side, pointing you showed him which aisle you were talking about.

“I can hold your books to the side while you go and grab some more, I mean you’ve got to cover all the bases right?”

While usually language like this would cause Damian to give you a look of distain, he bee-lined straight for the aisle. You laughed and turned to watch him when you spotted a guy standing right next to Mira and Jason.

“Are you here for me or him?” Mira asked not even looking up from her book.

The guy blinked and a extremely confused look crossed his face. He gave Mira a baffled look as he said, “Why would I be here for him?”

A mischievous smile appeared on her face for just a second before she looked up at him, shock all over her face.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you be here for him?” She exclaimed gesturing towards Jason, “Have you seen him? He’s fucking gorgeous!”

You had to shove your fist against your mouth to stop from bursting into laughter. You watched Jason do something similar as his face turned red as his entire body shook.

The guy went quiet and didn’t say anything else. Mira sighed and shook her head looking back to her book.

“Well if your here for me fuck off, if your here for him…” She trailed off as if to let Jason finish her sentence.

He did, “Fuck off as well.”

A look of slight surprise was on Mira’s face as she looked to Jason, a smile playing on her lips. “Oh really?”

He nodded and her smile widened before she looked back to her book, looking surprisingly happy.

“Awesome,” She remarked as she flipped the page, “anyways you heard us, fuck off dude.”

The guy glared at the two of them and turned away cursing. You laughed letting out a sigh as you saw Jason and Mira share a look before they began talking about the book.

Looking away from them you noticed Dick leaning on your desk a smile on his face. You flinched feeling your entire body beginning to panic.

“Hi.”

“Oh, uh,” You remarked before giving him a smile in return, taking in a breath you continued, “Hi.”

“So I read the book,” He says as he pushed up from the desk.

“Oh,” Is the only thing you can say, your mind felt blank as terror began crawling into every part of you.

Breathe, you told yourself, remember what Nightwing told you. If he can’t see the real you he doesn’t deserve you

You nodded and tried for a genuine smile on your face. Something flickered on Dick’s face and he smiled brighter.

“I was hoping we could talk about it over lunch or dinner.”

You blinked, once, twice then three times as what he said was slowly sinking in. It took you a second to realize he just asked you out. Internally you began to scream, externally your pretty sure the smile was frozen on your face as a look of confusion began at the corners of your eyes.

Taking in a breath you laughed slightly, nodding you let it out and tried your hardest to speak slowly. If you fucked this up you would never live it down, not only to anyone who heard the story but to yourself.

“Oh, that. sounds. fun! Sure.” You replied smiling.

“Awesome.”

It occurred to you, that you would be talking about the book amongst other things. And no matter his opinion you could give him other book recommendations. As excitement for the upcoming date raced in your veins a thought popped into your head, one of the whispers.

What if this is a prank? What if it’s all a practical joke being played

You hesitated for a moment before pushing the thought away. it wouldn’t-couldn’t be a joke. Dick was nice, nice and sweet. As your nerves began to climb up your throat you took another breath in.

Breathe

Trust

You had to trust, you could do that. Shoving away your worries you focused on the fact that you could recommend more books... something you realized he didn’t know.

“Icabevrecbak-” You began before you heard yourself.

Heat flushed your cheeks and you squeezed your eyes shut wincing. Peeking one open you didn’t dare try looking at him.

You can do this, you just had to breathe

“Sorry,” You began not looking at him as you breathed and tried to take it slow, “I meant I could recommend more books if you liked that one.”

“It’s fine.” Dick said waving a hand as if to brush off the apology, “Honestly I think it’s cute.”

You froze, it felt as if your brain just short-circuited. Blinking you felt yourself give him a look of disbelief.

Honestly I think it’s cute, echoed in your ears and then you heard what Nightwing said the night before,

If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute. I know I do

Blinking you realized that he continued to speak. Instead of pretending what was going on you gave him a confused look and he smiled.

“I’d love if you recommended more book. How does tomorrow sound?”

You didn’t exactly know what was happening but you heard yourself replying, “Uh, great.”

You felt as if you were in a muddle, you could see what was happening and hear it but you could really feel anything. Faintly you heard a ringing and for a moment you were scared you were gonna pass out. A nervous laugh escaped you as you tried to breathe. An even wider grin appeared on his face and he leaned in towards you.

“You get off at four right?”

Nodding you continued to reply almost robotically, “Uh yeah.”

“Well I’ll pick you up from here then.”

You blinked, the muddle was slowly fading and you were finding yourself again. Clearing your throat you nodded again. You could feel your heart in your chest doing it’s fluttery jump as your stomach did non-stop flips.

“Okay.” You breathed out blinking again.

Dick nodded then shot you, what you can only imagine his classic playboy smile which sent your mind into a tizzy.

“I’ll see you then.”

“Uh okay, bye.” You mumbled out as you watched him walk away not exactly sure about what just happened but fully aware that you had a date with him the next day.

Holy fuck, you had a date with Dick Grayson. You couldn’t believe it, and as you felt your excitement race over you you remembered what Nightwing had, essentially, told you.

-You’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you.

If you make a fool of yourself he should be saying something like... like. I think- I think I might just love you a little bit.

If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute-

Pressing your face into your hands you tried your hardest not to blush. Not only did you have Nightwing’s words playing in your ears but the feelings you had for both him and Dick.

Fuck

You were completely and totally torn in half. After a moments thought you sighed. Maybe the phrase All The Man I Need wasn’t entirely true. After all one guy hadn’t exactly met all you needs, however if the both of them did have qualities that you needed-

No, no you weren’t going to think about that. After all right now you needed to focus on one guy, he was after all the one you were more likely going to end up in a actual relationship with. You had to focus on Dick Grayson... for now at least.

For now.

226 notes · View notes

rwprincess · 3 years ago

Text

Head Over Feet (Brian Johnson x Fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.8k

Synopsis: What’s that sound? It’s another anachronistic Brian Johnson songfic! (Based on Alanis Morissette’s Head Over Feet) You’re one of Bender’s trash-punk friends and things change drastically when he brings the scrawny brain from detention with him to meet you all. Set up in snippets, your relationship develops with Brian, even if you weren’t really looking for a relationship.

CW: Teenage smoking (including reader), swearing, parental abuse (being being kicked out), sexism, angst and fluff

“This is Johnson,” Bender indicated the boy he brought along to your group’s spot under the bleachers.

“Brian, please.” The kid corrected. You eyed the gangly youth from top to bottom; in his sweater over a crisply-ironed collared shirt and khakis, he definitely didn’t fit in here with you all. You’d be called grungy punks at best. You didn’t think any of you even owned an iron and crisp definitely wasn’t your style. You blew out a puff of smoke, exhaling the nicotine from your lungs and shifted your gaze to Bender, wondering what he was at with this. He wasn’t the best guy, but pranking this preppy little nerd by bringing him down to your hangout? That seemed beneath him.

“You, uh, running some kinda charity here, Bender? We’re not exactly Make-A-Wish material, kid.” Scorch told the blonde dweeb and you snorted at the thought.

“Shut the fuck up,” was all Bender said in response. The rest of the twenty minutes of Brian Johnson standing there was of course, incredibly awkward and it was clear to everyone that he didn’t fit in. But that didn’t stop him from coming back a week later. And again a few days after that. And again and again until, well, that dork had grown on the lot of you. While he didn’t partake in cigarette smoking like most of you, he did take Bender up on his weed on several occasions and was actually really funny while high. He did weirdly spot-on impressions and had a sense of humor that none of your group had anticipated.

And, as much as you would vehemently deny it, you liked him when he was sober, too. He was incredibly smart and helpful and while his jokes were different without marijuana in his system, he could be amusing. That first awkward encounter was back in March, maybe April. But now you spent time with him without the convenience of school pulling you together. Now it was June and you sought to spend time with him, even without the group. Tonight, you were laying in a field not far from the high school, just the two of you. You liked to listen to him ramble on about the constellations and the myths about why they were named as they were. You remembered liking that as a kid, but you didn’t remember most of the stories. You knew you could ask him questions about the actual stars, too. Like, the science of it, and he would know. But you’d rather let him ramble and tackle one subject at a time. Even though he focused more on science and math, he was a pretty good storyteller, and right now that provided you with more of an escape than talking about the chemical composition of a star. When he finished his retelling of Ursa Minor’s story, however, he remained silent and didn’t start up a new piece of lore. After a moment, you looked at him to see what the hold up was, but you just caught his eye as his gaze was already fixed on you. Your heart started pounding in your chest because you knew what was coming.

“You know, we could go on an actual date some time.” Brian suggested, breaking the silence. You closed your eyes, almost wincing at the words. He was generally more subtle than this, but the same idea had been brought up before. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brian. In general, you did, and in the honest depths of your soul, it was as more than a friend. But, every time it came down to this subject, you panicked. You had never been serious with anyone and the thought of dating was completely foreign to you. You had messed around with some guys before but you never had feelings for them. You didn’t know how to depend on another person, to have an actual relationship with them.

I had no choice but to hear you

You stated your case time and again

I thought about it

You sighed, your eyes still closed. You didn’t know what to tell him. Before, he always left it as more of a hint and it was easier to dodge. Now he was just coming out and saying it. Basically asking you out, so you would actually have to turn him down this time. The terrible thing was, you didn’t really want to. The conscious side of you wanted to agree and go out with him, on a proper date. But your subconscious kicked you into fight or flight mode and if you weren’t in the middle of a field, you might have picked flight and walked away. But that didn’t seem to be an option.

“Look, Johnson. It’s not that easy. Just...don’t waste your time on me.”

“I’m already wasting my time on you.” He pointed out, but when you took a peek at him, he didn’t seem upset about it. He was actually grinning about it. “We’re already wasting our time out here. Or at the library, or under the bleachers… So why not like, a movie theater or dinner, or my house?”

“Oh yeah, your mom would love having me around.” You joked, humorlessly. The smattering of times you had met Brian’s mother hadn’t gone swimmingly. You could read the derision in her voice and knew she did not approve of her good little baby hanging out with a ne’er-do-well like you.

“She’d come around. You’re different once someone actually gets to know you.” He meant it as a compliment, but you took it as your out.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You leapt up, indignantly and he just gaped at you like a fish out of water.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it, I swear!” He put his hands up defensively as you looked down at him. “Forget it, I’m sorry.” You had victory, he dropped the subject and your friendship could last another night and you could try to pretend like he wasn’t right, that you two weren’t meant to be something more.

*~~~~*

You treat me like I'm a princess

I'm not used to liking that

You ask how my day was

For the most part, working at Bert’s auto shop felt worthwhile and valuable. Other days, it chewed you up and spit you out. It was hard being in such a masculine environment and not fitting into that type. Customers (mostly men, but even the women too) thought that you were less knowledgeable and handy than your cohorts. Bender’s teasing didn’t help that image, either.

Now you slid into the booth at Gino’s pizzeria utterly deflated and defeated. Of course, Brian took notice right away. “Rough day?” He inquired, pushing a menu towards you even though he knew you ordered the same thing every time.

“That’s not even the half of it. Why does Bender hafta be such a dick all the time?!” You asked, incredulously but sincerely, diving right into your problem.

“I don’t know. I think he thinks it’s part of his charm? Maybe it is. I mean, we’re still friends with him.” You nodded at his point, but clenched your fists just the same.

“I just wish he knew when to back off sometimes. Like, he never realizes he’s taking it too far and digging you further into a shithole.”

“What did he do this time?” Brian’s gaze on you was unbroken; it made you feel important, like your opinion, your story, was the only thing that mattered.

“So we got this old guy in the shop today. Beautiful car, so of course he was hesitant with me touching it.” You began and his eyebrows furrowed, already not liking the direction this was going. “And I’m trying to prove myself worthy to work on this car, even though I would just be doing an oil change, which isn’t like a big deal anyway, right? Simple stuff.” You looked to him to get acknowledgement to move forward.

“I mean, I guess. I don’t really know about oil changes or anything about cars. But I know you do.”

“Right, so Bender has to go and make a crack to the old guy about how they won’t let me near it and I’m just the secretary for the shop or whatever. Just a total dick move. But of course the guy believed him and laughed with him and sent me to go get him a cup of coffee? I mean, what the hell is that?”

“That’s not right. And you wear a mechanic’s uniform at work, why would he think--?”

“Because macho man Bender told him I was! He was more believable than me.” You sank back and put a hand up to brace your forehead as the waitress approached the table. You prepared to order your drink when she set down exactly what you would have ordered in front of you and walked away, promising to come back in a few minutes. You blinked at the cup as if it magically had appeared.

“I uh, figured you’d get the usual and you’d need it when you got here, so I ordered for you. I hope that’s okay.” Brian said and then looked away, suddenly embarrassed by the idea. Since he wasn’t looking at you anyway, you allowed your lips to twitch up into a smile threatening to break out on your face...but only for a moment.

“Yeah, whatever. So anyway, Bender…” you carried on, pretending nothing happened, but secretly cataloguing his gesture in your memory.

*~~~~*

The only thing worse than arguing with Brian or him pissing you off was him making you laugh. There were times that you would go home with sore sides and itchy eyes from the tears that formed while laughing so hard. Then you would always, always reflect on the hours you just spent together, feeling the warmth and butterflies tickle your insides and a nervous heat would prickle your skin as you thought about how happy Brian made you. He never pushed you to do anything; he liked you the way you were. Sure, he would drop hints here and there about how you should stop smoking or give you advice when you had a particularly bad argument with one of your friends, but overall, he just accepted you. And you knew how hard that was to find.

You had never been popular and when junior high rolled around, you accepted that you never would be. You found your own little group of outcasts who understood what it was like to be kicked down time and again, and now he had somehow joined that group too. You knew he understood how it felt. Even though he looked different and came from a very different social circle, he had been looked down upon by his peers all his life. You were guilty of judging him the same way when you first met him, but now you couldn’t imagine life without him. He was cut of the same cloth and you could see yourself in him, which is why you just clicked. And he was so kind and so patient with you. You tried to push him away dozens of times, to put up the barriers and the walls that worked so well for everyone that came before him; you couldn’t be hurt if you never got attached. Where most people gave up and only saw the cold, distant bitch you gave them, Brian always saw something more. He didn’t give up in breaking down those walls, and even accepted just being your friend. That made you love him even more.

Shit, wait. Did you just think about loving Brian? A crush is one thing. Having a buddy to fool around with is one thing. Being in love was quite another.

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

*~~~~*

Mercedes Johnson was all about keeping up appearances, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear her arguing with Brian on the other side of the door, about you. Again. You had known from the second you met her that she didn’t like you. She was instantly worried about the influence you’d have on her son; it was a common reaction from parents based on the way you looked and the company you kept. You would think you’d be used to it by now.

However, it truthfully bothered you more because this was Brian’s mother. You were hoping that she would be different and see the person underneath like her son had, or at the very least, that she would eventually warm up to you. You had no luck with either.

“I’m not comfortable with having her over at the house right now.” You could hear her tell Brian.

“She’s my friend, ma. Of course she’s going to come over--”

“I’m aware of that but you know I wish she weren’t. I would prefer that you keep the company of other friends.” The formality of her sentences while she was still cruelly putting you both down made you cringe.

“You don’t know her because you won’t give her a chance. She’s not that different from my other friends.”

“You have friends in the Physics Club, from Knowledge Bowl, Honor Students. You don’t need the association with a hoodlum like that or John Bender and I don’t know why you keep insisting on bringing them into my home when I have repeatedly told you no. I don’t want them around your sister, or even you!”

“Fine. Then we’ll leave.” You heard the door swing open harshly and Brian was motioning for you to follow him out of the house.

“Brian Ralph Johnson!” You heard his mother cry after the two of you. Brian held open the front door for you and you looked at him cautiously before rushing out. You knew you weren’t wanted there, but you were worried that he wouldn’t come with you. You were even more worried that he would. “You are not leaving this house.” Mercedes put on the most intimidating tone you had witnessed her use.

“No, I am. We are. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t bother coming back tonight if you walk out of this house!” She was now pink-faced and losing all of the reserved, polished look you had seen her have. She had never been so...uncomposed.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” Brian said and grabbed you by the elbow as he escorted you down the driveway to your car. He immediately got into the passenger seat and as you sunk behind the steering wheel, you glanced at him.

“Brian, this is stupid. You don’t have to---you shouldn’t do this.” The whole situation reminded you of the many times you had been kicked out of your house. This was just another home you weren’t welcome in.

He clenched his jaw in response. “Let’s just go. I’ll figure it out later. Please, just drive.”

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole

You're so much braver than I gave you credit for

That's not lip service

“Your mom gave you a choice, you know. It’s not like she told you to get out. She actually told you not to leave.” You said as you both sat on the trunk of your car, looking out across the field that was slowly turning to a golden hue, both from the afternoon sun and the change into autumn. Neither of your houses were really an option to go to, so you just chose the empty field that you would look at stars in during the summer.

“It’s not like it was really a choice though, was it? I’m tired of her trying to control every part of my life. I need to start thinking for myself, doing things for myself. She needs to understand that I’m going to do what I want, and like who I want to like.” He looked at you meaningfully for a moment, but you looked away quickly. It was too heavy for you to process right now.

“That’s a big step. I’m really impressed with you for standing up for yourself.” You told him, and he gave you an appreciative, heart-stopping smile in return that caused your cheeks to flush. Your parents had shouted at you to leave so many times before, any time you were ‘inconvenient’ for them, that it was hard to relate to someone who chose not to stay. But you wanted to support him and you did feel proud of him today. You thought back to the most recent event in which you had been dismissed from your family, and how you had tried to take it out on Brian:

You slammed your locker and watched him almost jump out of his skin. “I don’t want to talk about this.” You growled at Brian.

“I understand that, but you need to. You can’t just--”

“Just what?”

“You can’t just act like nothing happened or run away from it...run away from here.” You had been disciplined at school yet again and your parents had had enough. You had a big fight with them the night prior and did not sleep in your own bed. The tiredness racked your body today and you were stiff from sleeping in your car. If it weren’t for the social aspect, you wouldn’t have bothered coming to school. But you quickly realized you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, and you were only making the situation worse.

“Like hell I can’t.” You stated, quickly turning to walk away.

“Y/N, don’t. Come on, talk to me. Tell me what happened. We can figure it out together.”

“There’s nothing to figure out, bucko. I’ll be fine. I’ll do this on my own. I’m used to that anyway.”

“But you don’t have to be alone, Y/N. That’s what I’m saying! That’s my whole point: I’m here for you!”

“I didn’t ask you to be, Brian.”

“No, because friends don’t have to ask.” His words scared you. Nobody had so adamantly offered to be a safety net to you before.

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “we’re great friends. We’ve bonded so much in the, what, four months you’ve known me?” You rolled your eyes, trying to make him feel uncomfortable, to drive a wedge between you. You only knew how to put up walls, how to run.

“You know we are.”

“Yeah, sure, right. Friends. Not like you want to sleep with me or anything.” You tried to drive another knife into him, to play it off like he was following you only because he had a crush on you, one you tried to pretend wasn’t reciprocated. “It’s not going to happen, Brian. So just accept that we’re not friends.”

He let you get about three steps away before you heard him say, “No. I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. Sure, part of me wants something more, but...I care about you, Y/N. And if we can just be friends, I am happy with that, I swear. But don’t do this to me. Don’t try to shut me out or walk away or act like you’re fine. I know you well enough to know you’re not.” When you turned around, you could see that he had tears rimming his eyes, threatening to fall, which made your own tears spring up as well. “I am your friend. I’m not going to just let you go and do something stupid. You are going to talk about this. If not to me, then someone else. But you can’t just run away or sleep in your car or, or…”

“Okay.” You said, softly.

“Okay?”

“Fine, let’s talk about it. I screwed up again and my parents kicked me out. So what do I do?”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I...we’ll think of something.” He began to tell you, but you bit your lip and drowned him out in your own sobs. Everything crashed in on you at once; you hadn’t escaped in time. You slid down your locker wall and sat on the floor. Brian joined you and put his arm around you tentatively.

You are the bearer of unconditional things

You held your breath and the door for me

Thanks for your patience

After that day, you knew he wouldn’t let you go. You tried your best to brush him off, to hurt him, to land irreparable blows. But it was all in vain; he stuck by you. You admired how he stood up for you, for your relationship, whatever that meant. He didn’t back down, even though you knew he genuinely cared what you thought. He was willing to put everything on the line just to be with you, in whatever capacity you would allot him. And today, he had chosen you again. He had picked a fight with his mother and chosen you. He placed you above being safe and comfortable and at home right now.

“I’m sorry, this must seem so stupid to be complaining about. I know I don’t have it that bad, it’s just that--”

“No, your problems are valid, too. Your mom sucks.” You told him and he laughed, “But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t...weird to have someone be given the choice to stay instead of being yelled at to get out and that you’re worthless and---I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make this about me.” You said softly, looking down at your hands.

“No, I get it. It’s gotta be on your mind a lot, the uncertainty. Plus, I don’t mind talking about you.” He nudged your shoulder with his own, trying to be playful but you knew he meant that. He always put you first. You couldn’t help your next impulse as your hand shot up to cup his face and you leaned in and kissed him roughly. You weren’t entirely sure why you had done it. It would probably change everything and you couldn’t tell if you were doing it selfishly to feel like someone cared or to keep him around or because you truly wanted to. Of course, he kissed you back, and the feeling it gave you pushed a lot of those doubts from your mind.

You're the best listener that I've ever met

You're my best friend

Best friend with benefits

What took me so long?

*~~~~*

The kiss in the field still didn’t mean you were “together.” Realistically, it complicated things for a while. You avoided Brian for a couple of days and didn’t discuss it when you finally caved in to your desire to see him. He didn’t bring it up either, even though there were many times he would look at your lips like he wanted to make a move again, but you never talked about it. Things began to look “normal” after about two weeks. You spent time at the record shop, or under the bleachers with your friends or in the library with his friends. He nagged you about giving up smoking and you finally listened, much to his surprise.

“What made you finally decide to quit?” He asked, looking at the nicotine patch on your arm. You shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth.

“I guess I just finally got tired of you being a broken record, mother hen.” You teased him, but he just smiled because he was happy with your choice. The truth of the matter was, you had done it for him. While you weren’t with him, you wanted to be. You didn’t want to keep doing something that bothered him so much, but you also knew that eventually, your habit of smoking would cost time with him and you didn’t want that. You lied to yourself that you didn’t want a relationship and weren’t thinking about a future with Brian, but you were. Every time he helped you study or encouraged you to do your best, the time your parents were out of town so he had made you his “specialty” of spaghetti in your kitchen, when you drove him around singing songs together on the radio...you thought about doing those things with him forever and instead of the fear you used to feel at such a thought, you felt happiness. You anticipated a future with him, something to look forward to.

I've never felt this healthy before

I've never wanted something rational

I am aware now

*~~~~*

“It’s kind of weird, yeah. But they’re cute together, I guess.” You had just returned from a movie with Bender and Claire. You were surprised at how long their relationship had lasted, especially since you had hated Claire at first. You assumed she was dating Bender as a statement, but it had been over six months and they were still together and it just seemed to work.

“It must be nice to have someone like that. Even if they don’t make sense, they care about each other. It just must be a nice thing to have a relationship like that.” Brian looked at you for a moment before backpedaling, realizing he must have made it sound like he was guilt-tripping you. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you out again. I really just was complimenting them--”

“Well, maybe you should.” You cut him off.

You realized how rare a find like Brian truly was. He always put you before himself; he listened to all of your problems and knew when to offer solutions and when to just listen. He was endlessly supportive, and kind. He kept taking giant risks just to be with you, to show you that you mattered to him. You knew, without him saying it, that he loved you. Why else would someone go to the lengths he did, just to make you happy? You had tried everything to shake him, to get rid of him so neither one of you would be in too deep to get hurt. But he stayed, and now, you wouldn’t want him to go anyway. It was too late; you were both already in too deep.

He just blinked at you, sure he had heard incorrectly. “Wh-what?”

“I said, maybe you should. Ask me out again.”

“Y/N, do you want to go out with me?” He asked, unsure. It felt like a setup, but he knew you wouldn’t do something so cruel to him.

“Yes.” You replied, softly.

“Why?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I don’t know. I guess you won me over.” You chuckled, but he failed to see the humor in it, so you changed to a more serious tone. “Brian, I thought that these feelings would go away, that you would go away. Lord knows how hard I’ve tried to push you. But...you didn’t and the feelings didn’t. I-I love you. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep loving you, I don’t want to waste my time with anyone else. And...And I think that you love me.”

“I do.” He breathed quietly, with zero hesitation.

“So, why fight it any more? I was afraid that I would hurt you, but I think I’ve already done that and you’ve stuck around.” He nodded in confirmation of that fact. “And I was scared that I would get hurt but...but I’ve realized that you won’t do that to me, either.”

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

He took your hands in his, “You’re serious? You really want this? Because, you know how I feel. How I’ve always felt.” You nodded in response, tears quickly filling your eyes, which was a rarity for you. He leaned in towards you to kiss you, for the first time since your conversation in the field over a month ago. He waited for you to be ready in every aspect of your relationship and you had never known so much love and respect before. It took some adjusting to, but he had pulled you in and made you fall for him again and again.

Just gonna tag my buddy...

@90sinequity

#brian johnson x reader #brian x reader #breakfast club #the breakfast club #reader insert #reader-insert #romance #mild angst #angst with a happy ending

223 notes · View notes