#sometimes I feel like my fucking around and finding out isn't very science based and k can't possibly accurately diagnose myself and then

[halogalopaghost]

I just found out that a tilt table test isn't like, getting tilted back and forth for a while, you lay there for thirty minutes and then they tilt you upright REAL QUICK, im gonna fail that test so hard lmao

[resetting37]

pick a few ocs & talk abt which emotions motivate them? :3

oooo this is a good question thank you !

And you know what ? I'll use a random generator and pick six ocs from there instead of the usual six i rend to resort to >:-3

(also sorry if this post gets long I like to add pictures because I have so many dang ocs, my generator really did randomize this bunch lol)

Nora

Nora is motivated by curiosity and the drive to "fuck around and find out." She is also very competitive, so while she enjoys competition, it does push her to unhealthy limits. They'll still claim it's for fun, though. Yes there's facial lines from stress, but there's also some from smiles, so sometimes the two are quite compatible !

Orisa

Orisa is motivated by helping others and making herself happy. She's someone that believes that it's not selfish to help others with pleasing yourself as a happy aftermath; So while she does prioritize her own happiness above others, usually making others happy makes herself happy, so it's a win-win situation.

Echo

Echo is motivated by pride. What outcome is going to make Echo look the best ? This isn't entirely selfish, as much of their pride is also based on their family legacy, so by making Echo look good, they make the Ellocast name look good !

You would think Echo's mostly motivated by creating and other "science-related things." but innovation was more the alley of their predecessor. Echo's job as a clone is to clean up the reputation left behind. And make it even better >:-)

This relationship Echo has with pride is a two way lane, because the pride received pushes Echo in their actions.

Heidi

Heidi is motivated by having explanations. Why have theories when facts are a possibility ? She doesn't want to interpret your feelings, she asks about them. She doesn't want to assume what's happening in the basements of Evelow, she wants to explore them. This doesn't mean she wants to know everything. It just means she's adamant about knowing everything about particular subjects she's interested in. (I.e. if she doesn't care to know how your day went, she won't ask.)

Searching > Speculation

Circe

Circe is motivated about standing out or making a statement. Circe wants to create not only art, but conversations that last longer. Conversations are a form of art, she'll say. She does things that make her think, what will the universe give me in return ? Because sometimes, there is no response nor conversation. (And that's to be avoided, of course.)

This doesn't mean Circe tried to be controversial. Despite the similarity in phonetics controversial and conversation are, sometimes an attempt in controversy is too hallow to elicit meaning conversation.

Lately, Circe has shifted from being motivated by minimal strong responses to multiple simple responses. Call it selling out, but Circe sees strength in numbers.

Seth

Seth lets all emotions motivate him. He likes being energetic, but he also likes mellow ? But being angry is fun too ! But not sad, nope, not that, skip -

I guess in this case Seth is a lot less predictable, because if someone questions why he did something if everyone including himself was gonna come out of the situation being agitated, they'd have to be reminded Seth sometimes likes agitation. It makes relief in mood afterwords all the more enjoyable.

[obiternihili]

Probably all of this is just... obvious to everyone. But I feel like I see a lot of people in my life with unbalanced work/hobbies that causes them issues. Like

Most people, I reckon, have jobs that can be characterized as STEM-my, creative, or, idk, sorry if you like those jobs, but droll (like retail or other "low-skill" jobs)

Hobbies can reflect that, someone might learn/follow science for fun, someone might draw or make music for fun, and there are hobbies that don't necessarily reflect skills growth.

Maybe there's also a dichotomy, like, "productive" vs "consumptive" hobbies. Hobbies that make you practice new skills being the former, things like watching the brady bunch or whatever more the latter. Those shouldn't really be thought of as intrinsically good and bad, respectively, however. And the line between them probably isn't very well defined - is it far to call gaming a consumptive hobby when sometimes they require you to develop legitimate logical skills? Not just, like, Zachatronics teaching you weird low level programming, but game theory in general.

Or another thing coming to mind, is, like, learning basic physics and calculus so can make a better rules-based magic system for your roleplay group. And in general - some hobbies have more clear skills their benefitting, like, your gaming circle or whatever has you practicing social skills if nothing else. Our investment in fiction often reflects social skill development or refinement as well. These dichotomies I'm sketching out are pretty fake, but at the same time, I think we can agree that some hobbies are better at developing certain skills than others?

Regardless I think it's probably healthy for people to find a "complement" to what they're forced to do as a hobby. If you're a researcher it's probably good to take up an instrument. If you're a creative, it's probably healthy to develop an interest in, like, astronomy or something to do when you need to get away from everything you do being inexplicably cringe-inducingly terrible. If you do something that's a lot of both, like, idk, programming I think? You're probably exhausted and shouldn't be judged for just wanting some background noise. If you're, like, a grocery store clerk who doesn't have much of an outlet for either, it's probably healthy to find hobbies both in the nerdy sciency direction and in the personal artsy way.

But like there's also a bit of discourse going around where they're like "your only hobby is media consumption and therefore you're invalid" and that's... not it.

When I wrote healthy above every time I meant in a kind of self-actualization sort of way. Like, fuck what anyone else thinks, it's probably healthy for you to have something you enjoy doing that's as unlike your "job" or whatever as possible to manage burn out. And that's the takeaway from this overly wordy morphology of nothing really inciteful.

Basically my step mom needs to stop job hopping and focus on a goal that would bring her work life balance between her creative needs and her adhd tendencies, idk

[one-joe-spoopy]

Yes it's a multi-planet, multidimensional universe. Originally it was limited to Earth but the further humanity spread the further the Otherworld sprawled. You describing it as the Backrooms is top-tier, it absolutely is, and I am making that official.

Juno could ask Jet to help him source organs for Peter, sure, but he's never sure which one of Jet's favors are free and which ones might cost him something he can't pay. So far Jet's been willing to help him but Juno doesn't know if it's because of Buddy and Rita or because Jet wants something in return and quite frankly he's too scared to ask.

Buddy has indeed gone to see the Warden, but with Jet because she doesn't want the Warden to possibly try and drag her into Purgatory. To her, it's dressed like one of the guards in her father's prison: black from throat to ankle, heavy boots, the same cheery, maddening tone of condescension that the voice modulator added, the certain feeling that there was nobody home behind those frosty green eyes. She never went to see it again because it couldn't help with finding Vespa, since technically Vespa never walked through its gates and she isn't dead.

The Warden is based on whatever the individual imagines an authority figure to look like (mostly related to prisons and werewolves, in Rita's case. No one knows why.)

Sarah did still call them "my little monsters" because that's what they were: her little monsters that took her real child's place, the one she truly loved and never saw again, the one that she wasn't even sure ever even existed. While she said out loud that she didn't see either of the twins as her children, she allowed Ben to have her love because sometimes, most of the time, if she didn't look at him or listen to his voice or acknowledge that he wasn't hers, she could fool herself into imagining that Benzaiten was really her baby and that the worlds didn't play a cruel joke on her already gnawed thin nerves.

I don't have any equivalents for Mag or Slip yet, but they do exist, I just have to think about them. Mick (human but there's a joke that some witch cursed his family generations ago and that's why he's such a failure and why everything goes wrong around him) and Sasha (human) (Annie still died, yeah, but "Annie" technically is still living with her family. Sasha isn't sure if she's lost her mind, or if this really was her Annie) and Dark Matters do. DM's in charge of keeping track of the Otherworlds and making sure to keep the tentative peace that already exists (with the added bonus of having handy holes to chuck people into for 'science'). The Kanagawas are magical and "blessed" and are technically all the same person torn apart over and over again to create duplicates, with a few unique exceptions (Cassandra and Cecil, for example—the same case as Juno and Benzaiten). By "blessed" I mean that someone in their family made a deal with something in exchange for magic and use it to create fucked-up monsters (like the Cameramen™ and the photocopied Kanagawas themselves).

I haven't fleshed out Juno and Peter entirely yet, but here's what I do have: Juno's been stalking Peter for two days and Peter's tired and feeling twitchy but not enough to do anything about it. Juno shoots him in the hip, makes sure he's down for a good while and then approaches. Half-human-skin Peter is pretty big at 6"5' and Juno is very impressed by the antlers (sure, Juno, the antlers. Of course it was the antlers that impressed you. Uh-huh, suuuuuure). Peter stares at him because what the absolute hell, I'm losing my touch, Mag was right and also because of the look in the hunter's alley-cat eyes, hungry and calculating. Juno carries him like a half-grown lamb, legs bundled up and Peter's blood warming his jacket. No idea what happens after but I am very much open to suggestions (this is a blatant request for suggestions, jsyk)

The rifle is a gift from someone, haven't decided who, but it's my favorite because it glows!!! And also because Rita added mini charms and her special signature! It's one of Juno's most prized possession.

Hey! So, uh, I have some more stuff for the fae-hunter jupeter au, if you'd like to hear it? Regarding some more about the background and things and the other characters and also some intrusive thoughts Juno has regarding the cannibalism?

Oh fuck yeah babey lay it on me. This is the best Steel Twin Birthday Present and no other holiday or event going on irl I could've woken up to ever! And also does it mean anything if I say I have more thoughts on my monster hunter au bc I have a lot of new thoughts about it

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[painted-crow]

Bird? Bird. Bird Bird.

Hey there. I've been going in circles about my sorting since I discovered the SHC system and would appreciate your help in figuring it out. Although I'm convinced I'm at least some sort of Badger and Bird combo, possibly with some Lion in there somewhere, I'll let you decide based on the word vomit below. 😆

Nonny, I have no idea how Tumblr is going to format an ask this long when I post it, so in the interest of letting people actually read the words you've put effort into (and making sure my reply is also trackable), I'm copypasting this so it'll behave more like a submission. Yours is a recent ask I think, so hopefully you see it! I'll briefly post the original once this is up, so you get the ping.

As a kid, my family called me a walking encyclopedia. I spent a lot of my time burying my head in books and magazines in an effort to understand the world around me rather than engaging with people. National Geographic, atlases, and the Magic Treehouse series were particular favorites of mine, but sometimes I would sprinkle in some fantasy novels here and there when I felt like reading something more creative and fun.

Nice, this is a whole lot of Birdsec up front. Wonder why you need me to confirm this for you.

Along with a genuine curiosity about history and science, I felt a sense of security in gathering knowledge and would let it guide my decisions (What a fucking nerd, am I rIGHT?)

Shoosh, you are perfectly cool.

Also, I would constantly correct everyone and anyone if I felt they didn't understand something or were completely uninformed, even if butting into that conversation was rude (then again, it could also be that I was too young to understand that there was a time and place for speaking).

Probably. Can I take a guess here that you were an asynchronous development (aka "gifted") kid? Maybe even twice exceptional ("gifted" and also neurodivergent)? I don't have that info obviously, I'm just guessing.

@wisteria-lodge just came out with a great post about "gifted" kids (and why that term is garbage).

A lot of twice exceptional kids get "missed" with diagnosis (hi!) and don't know there's a name and a reason for the struggles they have to deal with, especially social struggles. I can't diagnose you, of course, but that might be something to read up on if you haven't already.

(Good places to start are @adultingautistic and @adhd-alien on tumblr, or the YouTube channel HowToADHD. Be very wary of any source that's targeted almost completely towards parents of autistic or ADHDer kids, or anything that feels infantilizing in general. ND folks are just different, not broken or oversensitive or immature. If a source doesn't seem to know that, you know they have at least one huge piece of bad info. Their other stuff probably isn't better.)

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program.

It felt wrong to let them have an incomplete picture.

Ooh, an Idealist primary. Probably Bird. Could still be Lion?

I was very outspoken about what I thought was right and wrong, and why, which was usually some fun fact I had read in a book or heard through someone else.

Yeah, no, that's Bird.

Even when I would play basketball, I would play better if I understood the theoretical and technicalities of the game and how to work within the rules. I had to understand the why before I could even begin to execute. In a realm where physicality was seemingly more important, I still managed to find a playing and learning style that allowed me to stay in my head.

You are a loud Birdsec, and I suspect the reason you're piling up all this evidence for me is that you also have more unwarranted insecurity about it than the Shaq-A-Roni (not sponsored) has cheap greasy salami.

TLDR; I was an arrogant shit as a kid, lmao.

Bullshit.

I mean, maybe you acted that way. But I don't think you're seeing the whole picture.

Some kids have the bad luck to grow up interacting with adults like this...

Adult: you are Smart, and therefore worthy of Positive Attention.

Kid: ok I will work very hard at being Smart, because I value your opinion and want Positive Attention.

(later)

Kid: can I have the Positive Attention? I am very Smart. look at this Smart thing I did

Adult: bad! arrogant! only We may bestow the label of Smart, and declare worthiness of Attention, when it is convenient to Us!

Kid: but I did the same thing...

Adult: yes but now it's annoying. you should know this, you're Smart.

Of course, there is some reasoning to adults' wanting kids to learn social norms about modesty. But generally they don't explain this well, and the kids who continue to act "arrogant" are at least a little bit attention starved.

Kids wanting attention isn't a bad thing. It's a totally normal and natural need. It's not selfish of them to want feedback and praise; that's just a human thing, and kids need it for development. Kids who get called arrogant are mostly just following the rules adults have set for their interactions.

You can call an adult arrogant, but an adult has the ability to choose not to interact that way. They can opt out of the entire premise that intelligence is what makes them worthy, and they have a lot more freedom to set boundaries. Kids' choices are much more constrained, and they don't always realize they have a choice when they do, because their freedom and autonomy is always growing and it takes time to figure out how to use that. (Also because they don't always have the freedom and safety they should.)

So if you grew up in an environment like this, even if that interaction above was... more subtle, you shouldn't blame yourself for the coping mechanism you picked up--even if it feels bad or shameful to look back on, or you want to act differently now. Feeling shame is also normal, it's just not very productive. Once more I'll point at the works of Brené Brown--you can probably find her books in the library.

Since you're a Birdsec, I wonder if you ever had a "Trying To Impress You" Actor Bird mask. I definitely did, and it became so automatic that it took me ages to realize that it was there and I could take it off. Then I discovered how much energy that thing had been taking to maintain. Yikes.

This garbage isn't limited to one Sorting, btw. The school system and societal expectations fling it at all of us.

Being self-deprecating, and calling yourself nerdy, arrogant, or other labels like that can stem the accusations of arrogance, but it's not the healthiest way to talk to or about yourself. You don't need to put yourself down. You don't need to impress anyone. You're worthy whether you impress people or not.

Be kind to your child-self, is what I'm saying. It's hard, but remember they're a kid, and they're still part of you. Have compassion for them.

During my high school years, I developed social anxiety which also led to depression. Through a lot of therapy and some friends that I would use as a sounding board, it became apparent that the main trigger for my anxiety was concern with doing the right thing in dealing with people (as well as the usual fear of judgment and suffocating feeling of being around large crowds).

Yeah, primary anxiety. Not fun. Also, maybe,,, RSD? Again, not here to diagnose you with anything, just something to read up on.

My thinking was very big picture, too much at times, and I was so worried about considering every single variable and possibility that analysis paralysis became a common frustration for me.

Do I have some sort of bias that's affecting how I treat this person? Why does this work for me but not for this other person? Am I being ignorant by choosing this? Am I really getting to the bottom of this issue or did I make a wrong turn somewhere and now have completely lost sight of it?

Textbook Exploded Bird. Hugs, that's tough.

It looked a lot like caring about what other people thought of me, but really I was concerned with how my thinking and opinions could be negatively affecting those around me.

I wonder who this voice is, cutting you down. The implication that you're obsessed with your own image, how people see you, is a common thread between this and the "arrogance" thing you're worried about. Does that accusation really come from you? Or was it something someone else told you?

You're not just self-conscious. Someone has taught you to be self-conscious about being self-conscious. And look, maybe they meant well or whatever, but this isn't helping you.

(Also, this anxious self-examination? It's a stressed-out Birdpri habit. Your Sorting is the easiest part of this ask to answer.)

Hurting someone else was the result of a flaw in my system. The way that I treated people was a direct reflection of who I was and my goodness as a person; if I made a wrong decision and hurt somebody, then I was a monster.

You and the Bird from my last ask. (Unless you're the same person, lol.) Go read that post here.

And, being somewhat young at the time, I made wrong decisions constantly.

Well, yeah. Everyone does.

I would constantly ask friends, "Should I have done X instead?" in order to gain perspective on every single tiny detail of a social situation. It got so bad that I was extremely burnt out by the middle of my sophomore year and struggled with basic social interactions. I was paralyzed. (Is this what Burning is like? Not totally sure. Maybe just Undecided?)

It's more Explodey, but could be charred too. Again, see that linked post.

Over the years, I had to learn how to not constantly analyze myself and my motivations because it was heavily affecting my quality of life. I have since gotten better, but still do fall into the trap of over-psychoanalyzing myself from time to time, much to my friends' dismay.

Hey, recovery! We love to see it ❤

Even if it's not perfect, this is still really important for you. You're working to move past the struggles you've had to deal with. Congrats! ✨

One pattern that I have noticed over the course of my life is that people trust me more quickly than they trust other people, hence the mediator reputation. I think there is a part of that that was related to my social status and the fact that I wouldn't have anyone to tell, nonetheless being able to help others helped me develop a lot of confidence and decent interpersonal/communication skills.

Did you pick up a Badgersec model/performance/Actor Bird mask as your default social mode? It's possible, and if so, same :p

I have had people who have told me about their mental illnesses, childhood trauma, secret hate for their s/o or family member, etc within a week of knowing them. (For a while it got to the point of me being a bit of an enabler of toxic behaviors, which I've corrected since then) Most of them are lucky that I'm nice enough to keep their secrets, lol.

I get this too--outside the blog, I mean, and completely unprompted. It's kind of strange when it just... happens to you!

That's an experience connected with Badger secondaries and Badgersec models.

I did have one incident recently that involved one person in my friend group crossing of boundaries so blatantly and harmfully and constant gaslighting that I confided in a few friends about how I'd been mistreated and what this person had told me about themselves as reasons that I thought they were a terrible person, and within a few days that person was out of the group.

I didn't need to lie, I didn't need to exaggerate the truth, and I didn't even need to do much else other than tell these few friends about the red flags, and they still took my side. It felt horrible at the time, and still does as I retell it, and I constantly ask myself how I let this person lie to and confuse me for so long without realizing it.

Well done, asking for support when you needed it! Aside from protecting yourself (a worthy and important cause), you protected your friends from this person potentially doing the same thing to them.

Also, you have good friends. And probably a Badgersec model.

Don't blame yourself for not defending yourself earlier, either. It takes time and experience to learn how to set boundaries and figure out when someone is acting in bad faith.

In the least rude way possible, I have to ask: do you have access to therapy? You need some self-compassion, you're way too hard on yourself. That's not a judgment on you; a lot of the advice I'm offering, I gathered from personal experience.

(Hopefully I'm not just projecting. I have to make a lot of guesses in these posts.)

I'm sorry for the lengthy ask, but hopefully there was some helpful information somewhere within that whole shpeel.

I think you already knew you were a double Bird, underneath all the self-doubt. You just needed someone to tell you that you're a good enough double Bird.

It's okay. You are. You belong, I promise.

- Paint