#something very insane about tiktok as a whole like i just saw one of those ‘she lives inside me’ nostalgic vids of a little girl playing

[dykeyeonjun]

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[lover-of-mine]

Hello and welcome to me being crazy about colors in media. Again. I feel like during season 7 there was the whole blue and yellow thing going around Buck and Eddie and I offered the theory that it could be like the blue and green thing, but for queer couples, since the show tends to use that color combo with Hen and Karen (here's that post if you want to see it), until @stagefoureddiediaz told me about a trend in media as a whole to use those two colors for queer coding, she mentioned red, white and royal blue and heartstopper as more recent examples but that this has been going on for a while. I'm gonna be honest, I don't watch a lot of movies, but the other day tiktok started to show me clips of Crush, it's a queer high school romcom, I had it on streaming, I was bored, I sat down to watch it, the movie is ridiculously blue and yellow, like, it's almost funny, I'm not gonna write a meta on that, if you get curious and watch the movie, there are blue and yellow elements to pretty much every scene, just pay attention lol. But that got stuck in my head and I was thinking about Love, Simon, and well, that movie also uses blue and yellow elements, in a more subtle manner, but it's there, rwrb also has details, like the lighting or color of ties, the same way they hide pride flags with elements of the scene. I never watched heartstopper, so I can't comment on that one.

Why am I telling you this? Well, if this is a pattern in media in general, then we have ourselves a solid theory. Crush and rwrb are more recent movies, crush is from 2022, rwrb is from 2023, but Love, Simon came out at the beginning of 2018. This makes the choice of making henren scenes blue and yellow very interesting.

You know me, I'm the blue and green person (extremely detailed meta on the blue and green), but I turned off the blue and green switch in my head and was going around wondering what counts as yellow. Because if we count warn lighting in general, the way it reflects in the background, Buck and Eddie are constantly surrounded by blue and yellow elements. There's a lot during under pressure, including the way the dialogue during the ambulance is "Practice rounds have blue caps, gold caps are live." while we have blue and yellow lights in the ambulance ceiling.

The blue and yellow elements are real, but while making my buddie in every episode series, I was watching season 3 with the blue and yellow goggles on, and I realized the lights behind Eddie during the tsunami are very much yellow, along with the blue tents and Eddie's uniform.

And once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it.

They even have blue and yellow beers.

So the blue and yellow during season 7, has to mean something. For both of them.

And with the way that Buck, Bothered and Bewildered is a blue and yellow episode, I kinda wanna say that the blue and yellow IS about queer themes.

But the reason I'm making this post is actually more insane than just making this point again. Buck and Eddie have 2 undeniably blue and yellow scenes before season 7. Scenes where they are dressed in blue and yellow. And those are very important scenes in my humble opinion. Because the first one is the will reveal.

This scene is one of the most important buddie scenes. And that makes the colors here very interesting if we add things like the way they wanted to make Buck bi in season 4 but fox didn't let them, and this scene reads as a love confession anyway. Having Eddie in blue and Buck in yellow could very much have been the way they found to add more significance to the scene.

But there's also the way that Eddie's shirt is to yellow the same way Buck's is to blue during the presentation of the couch theory (rip you will always be famous), which is, again, a choice, we also have the notepads Eddie and Chris are playing with are yellow and the beers are also yellow, and the way Chris is a blue element.

Everything here keeps getting me more and more convinced that they will go canon while in blue and yellow, not blue and green like other couples, because green is both their breakup colors, if we count the conversation with Kim as a breakup.

And personally, I think we can, because by my own standards, their first conversation is blue and green.

So buddie going canon in a blue and yellow scene makes more sense because it would be unique to them.

This is a very long way to say, let's be on the lookout for both of them wearing blue and yellow lol.

That's all for today, if you reached this, I love you 💜

[davinashifts333]

DATING SONG MINGI PT.1:

⚫️summary; once again, first part to MINGI’s section in the new ATEEZ fics or requests i am taking. this one’s for my new friend @ateezatinyfan 🩷! this is basically what dating idol!mingi would be like as a famous person yourself. STREAM ATEEZ!! STREAM CRAZY FORM!! STREAM THE WHOLE DAMN ALBUM BECAUSE IT SLAPS!!

⚠️warnings; iNsAnE fLuFf, Mingi being Mingi (aka HOT & baby at the same time), smutty topics, swearing, idk tbh, whatever else is in here but if you’re not 18+ YOU SHOULDNT BE HERE ANYWAYS. STREAM CRAZY FORM!!

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-Dating THE BEST RAPPER OF 4th GEN KPOP, the King himself, S O N G M I N G I, the killa of ATEEZ, was something you never expected.

-He always needed attention, whether it be texting updates every 1-2 hours (sometimes even every half hour) because he just missed being around you? Or whether it be you ending up at his dorm & accidentally falling asleep.

-We’re getting ahead of ourselves here, let’s go back to the moment you met. At the yearly [insert award show name here] when you introduced them before their performance & he was insanely flustered going on stage until he remembered he had to put on his stage face & absolutely sent it.

-He had been a longtime Ideal Type for you so, your fans knew from the moment you were asked to announce, that you were super excited to announce ATEEZ as performers. What you didn’t know was that all of ATEEZ already knew who you were, were huge fans of your work & would constantly here updates about you from their little Princess Mingki.

-Mingi legit had NOTIFICATIONS on for your instagram, tiktok, twitter, vlive, etc.

-Yunho had reached out on his personal IG once to ask you to collab but, you didn’t know they had secret personal pages so you simply ignored it, being afraid of it being a bot.

-after ATEEZ gave their usual show stopping performance, you went back out to thank them & one by one they shook your hand & bowed in a sign of respect & acknowledgement of your admiration for them.

-Mingi, being last he held your hand softly & evidently gained a bit of courage since he had placed a soft kiss to your hand which just made the crowd erupt in applause.

-backstage he was being scolded by HongJoong for doing that without notifying you or anyone for that matter until you stepped in.

-“Ani! It’s okay! I found it very sweet. No need to scold him HongJoong Hyung.”

-“Ah! Y/N-ssi, I’m so sorry about that, I don’t know why I did it, I just saw you there & thought it was the perfect moment. I’m so sorry.” Mingi hurriedly apologized.

-You stopped him by kissing his already flustered cheek. A huge ear to ear smile forming on his face as you came down from your tippy toes & the rest of ATEEZ standing there in shock at the event unfolding in front of them.

-safe to say from then on, you exchanged numbers with all OT8 & had a group chat within a week of the award show.

-Mingi would ask you only days later to go on a date & you obviously agreed. He took you to the beach, you had an adorable candlelit picnic & then ended up going to the street market & meeting up with the boys for karaoke.

-after karaoke he drove you home & ended the night with an actual kiss after he had been embarrassed by his members exposing his attraction for you from a long time ago.

-on the drive back to your house you took hum the long way just to talk more & sat out in the car for another 2 hours just chatting & getting to know one another more.

-you were very similar but had keen differences that just made it even more perfect. you were an extrovert & he was obviously an introvert who became extroverted around those he felt most comfortable with, you liked things he didn’t & he respected that & the other way around. but what made him go in for that real first kiss was hearing how passionate & admirable you were about your job, how hard you fought to be in the place you were now & how you would do anything for the people you loved.

-he saw you as a completely different person from what he imagined, better even.

-& he simply blurted out his confession.

-“Well, even though you already heard it from the members, I wanted to say it myself. Yes I have liked you for a long time, how couldn’t I? You are so beautiful Y/N-ssi. So talented, so amazing & I would love to keep seeing you like this, no matter what comes our way. I feel so comfortable around you & I like it & when I like or believe in something I am honest about it.”

-you froze, it was all happening so fast but it didn’t feel wrong, it felt like it was going the way it was meant to go.

-so as he stood with your hands in his, admitting his attraction to you, you decided to do the same.

“Mingi-ssi. I completely agree. I appreciate you telling me yourself too & I want to admit my side as well. It feels right, whatever is going on between us & I have liked you as well for a while. My fans all hear it in interviews & such. You are always who I name as my Ideal Type & I constantly get told why don’t I tell you. Well, I guess I was just afraid of it being a schoolgirl crush. But now, talking to you openly & comfortably, I like you even more. I would love to keep seeing you like this & potentially more.”

-this boys eyes SHONE. you couldn’t tell if it was tears or sheer happiness in them but he was just so precious & handsome & caring how could you say no? plus you had to admit seeing him smile at you with such care made your heart almost burst out of your chest.

-you finally say your goodbyes, even though it was killing you both inside & he drives back to his dorm only for an hour or so later you see a notification on the group chat.

-‘TEEZERS & Y/N-SSI’

-it read “this is how your boyfriend came home.” with a video of him gushing about how perfect & how much better you were now than in his head or just from videos he had seen of you in the past. San sent it, teasing the both of you, which he loved.

-you saved the video & kept re reading the text. ‘boyfriend’ made you giddy. your Idol, your Ideal Type WAS yours. it was crazy how a simply little kiss on the hand had evolved into this.

-from then on, you two were inseparable, always in the news being captured together, or on Dispatch, Enews, etc.

-he constantly has flowers sent to your house to remind you he’s always thinking of you.

-has to ALWAYS have you close by.

-WILL fall asleep on you even if he is damn near 2X your size.

-is always gifting you small things that remind him of you or that he knows you like.

-leave his jackets & baggy shirts over at your place “by accident” but really on purpose because he loves seeing you post instagram stories wearing them.

-posts you on his ‘#FIXON_stagram’ posts but it’s mainly candida or cropped pics where your tattoos (if you have any, nails, shoes, silhouette, shadow, etc. Which both your fans LIVE for.

-you always end up meeting him & the boys at the studio, dorms, bars, or for dinner because the boys love you just as much but definitely not more than Mingi because he’d kill them.

-HongJoong & Yeosang being your closest members aside from Mingi but you loving them all equally.

-Mingi being the definition of “Golden Retriever Boyfriend” & you being his “Black Cat Girlfriend”.

-fans LOVING your relationship & how open & honest you both are in interviews & everything but how private you keep certain things as well.

-MINGI WRITING SONGS ABOUT YOU. YES, THE SONG MINGI, writing about you because he is so head over heels he is already planning baby names 6 months into the relationship.

-you meeting his family 1-2 months in because he just HAS to show you off to them.

-“Y/N-ssi! Mingi-ah has told us to much about you! Welcome come in please! You can call me Eomma Song, please sit, tell us about yourself.” with the biggest most warm smile on her cute little face. You see where Mingi gets his loving heart from.

-Mingis dad pulling him aside to tell him he picked a good one, which Mingi tells you later. (because he can’t hide ANYTHING from you… no literally, he asked you to check a cut on his big toe because he thought it was infected…)

-Eomma Song loving you & being a fan of you herself so much that she asks to take a picture with you so she can frame it. You gladly agree & laugh at Mingi’s 😲 face when he hears her already planning to frame your photo.

-“Eomma! You don’t have a photo with me or my members! I will get you one!” Everyone bursts into a fit of laughter at his subtly jealous remark but he is only joking.

-in conclusion for this part, dating this Princess is a full time job on top of your full time job BUT, you love him so much you can’t help but feel like you’re on cloud 9 anytime you’re with him just like he surely feels with you!

-he is YOUR Princess Mingki & your only.

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A/N; HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING MY ATEEZ DRABBLES SO FAR! WE MADE IT TO 19.4MILLION VIEWS IN 24 HOURS FOR CRAZY FORM!! LETS KEEP STREAMING ATINY!! LETS MAKE OUR BOYS PROUD!!

[midwestemoismid]

Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,

<autism rant>

Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.

i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw

well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that

i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏

this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession

and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.

I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it

as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.

I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well

"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.

I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.

Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol

This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright

If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over

[autumnmobile12]

When people say, 'You can't ship that! Those characters have never met!'

Those characters have never met.

...and???

...

I found a tiktok the other day where a bunch of people in the comments were going on about how stupid it was that people were shipping X with Y because those characters never met in canon or only shared one interaction in canon and how '...the fandom is unfortunately like that.'

So here's the thing:

My sister and I used to play a game where we would come up with ships based on names pulled from a hat and judging what random pairings came out of it. Didn't matter the fandom, didn't matter the characters. (Except age gaps that were too wide for comfort and underage-adult ships.) The crazier the better, and we came up with some pretty weird but wholesome ones. My sister also has an entire fic of one-shots featuring Soul Eater rare-pairs that are so rare, they are unicorns in that fandom.

Crossover ships (platonic or romantic or otherwise) are my jam.

One of my favorite ships is a crossover ship. Shizuo Heiwajima (Durarara!!) and Adult!Mai Taniyama (Ghost Hunt) sure as hell have never met, I’m pretty certain I’m the only one here, but I didn't let that stop me.

I've shipped Seras (Hellsing) and Lenore (Castlevania Netflix). No particular reason, I just like it.

The cast of D. Gray Man is so diverse and insane that you can put any two characters together and you'll get either an interesting ship, an interesting conversation, or at the very least, a very entertaining argument.

The My Hero Academia fandom likes to write fanfiction where Mirko and Hawks are besties. Those characters never talk in canon. They share maybe one or two scenes together and they don't directly interact. It's just vibes.

And 'just vibes' is pretty much the entire essence behind some ships.

The Castlevania Netflix fandom loves Trephacard so much that I once saw a post here on Tumblr where someone admitted they legitimately forgot it wasn't a canon ship. Alucard and Trevor interact quite a bit, sure, but the point still stands. It's fanon, people love it, deal with it.

The Harry Potter Drapple ship was a thing. (Or maybe it's still a thing, I don't know, I'm not in the Harry Potter fandom.) So don't tell me I can't ship X with Y because they've never met in canon when there is a literal person x inanimate object ship floating around the internet.

I. Don't. Care that X and Y never met. Maybe they have some niche thing in common was worth exploring. Maybe they have similar personalities. Maybe they're total opposites and that was the appeal. Maybe I just woke up and felt like it. The whole point of fanfiction is that does not have to be canon-compliant. Did you expect a word for word document of the source material?

X and Y have certainly never met. But what if they did? Is that not what fanfiction is for?

We're here to have fun, express ourselves, and maybe work through personal issues we got going on in private.

Personally, after coming from some smaller fandoms that primarily work with only one or two ships and nobody mixes it up, I like the variety of a multi-ship fandom. Or no ships at all. It’s nice to also avoid the drama when you don't feel like reading the shipping material.

At the end of the day, don't go shaming/harassing people for shipping what they like, whether it's a mainstream ship or a rare-pair that's so rare it's got an audience of one. If it's a ship you don't like or find problematic, just don't read it. Go find something you do like. (Trust me, there's a part of the Black Butler fandom I stay far away from.)

Let people like what they like, let people be weird, let people build their ships from scratch if they want.

Tag everything properly.

Have fun.

Or Reepicheep will pay you a visit.

And to anyone who says, 'You can't ship that, those characters have never met.'

[mostspecialgirl]

i dont think i can do “artist spaces” anymore because i’m really stupid. - ramble post with no point or central focus aside from making myself feel less weird

like…. i’m stupid. and i like it! But every artist i meet is like some kind of super genius and irs kind of nuts, everyone’s got such vision and intelligence and honed skill and all these interesting things about their lives and practice away from the arts and i’m some kind of inert orb who doesn't have much soul in her work aside from "isnt this cool like a animes" or "this is how im feeling". at least when it comes to Drawinf a Pitures.

i can deal with spaces where everyone’s just hanging out and Some People Happen to be Artists but spaces primarily composed of people steeped in the arts actually remind me that i'm a socially inept cavewoman who barely knows how to use the microwave. sufficiently talented artists ('sufficient' referring to people who have labelled themself an artist and have been online for more than 2 years) who i end up talking to online are 80% of the time some kind of Art Student Med Student Math Prodigy or Mentally Ill Genius Socially Inept Outsider Artist with insane Honed Unique Skill and when you apply that 80% to a whole lump of people in a GC or a Discord Server where the other 20% don't really talk there it gets real mentally exhausting as someone generally quite unimpressive and classically unskilled.

i dunno. I just kind of find it interesting that people with such talent, skill, wit, and (as ive repeated endlessly) intelligence are always drawn to the arts. a lot of my friends ive made who are very smart people ive learned 3 years into the friendship they used to do painting studies and are some kind of closet picasso while ive been showing them my meager collection of shale and sediment. is the pursuit of the artistic a mark of something deeper? what must one’s character lack to not seek creative self expression? what separates a creator from a consumer, and the blind from the perceptive? is creating art for the simple purpose of “cool and fun” shallow? does that answer change with ones talent? what is shallow art? is there truly such a thing?

cough

anyway. i’m just kind of a dumb baby, and it makes me sad that i never really feel like i can talk about art with most people because i don’t know anything. i’m not looking for construction or anything, i just want to be able to say “isn’t making something fun” without being reminded of my own inadequacies. i feel like art shouldn’t have to be this “smart” thing, and it isn’t, but art itself draws in the smart, and so like in many other spaces i feel a bit outcasted. obviously the solution here is to talk to MINORS from TIKTOK (gets cancelled)

but i really dunno. i feel stupid a lot these days and i feel like there aren’t any spaces that fit me, even when on paper these should be the spaces i should be in. even off the paper, anywhere i go i can’t help but feel like a bit of a bump on a log. like an erroneously flipped bit. i’m the stray ray from the sun beamed into the nintendo 64. that’s how i feel among other people, no matter who i’m with. it’s strange, because i really do like myself. i’ve passed a lot of the self deprecation and self doubt that used to chain me, and is it strange to say i believed casting those aside would help me find a bit more belonging among other people?

it hasn’t! life’s the same! maybe worse? i’m not self actualized or anything, but i think i’ve really grown as a person, so it’s sort of sucky that i fit better in place as a problem child. well i suppose as the Old Ones spoke, every group needs The Rick Friend. meeting people is hard. wanting to stay among people i’ve met is even harder. i like to blame a lot of it on the Modern Internet and the sheer amount of how many people have invaded my once cozy corners. with The Net these days being less of a space for Niche Freaks and instead being Grandma And Your Little Cousin Just Saw You Post Your Wiener On Instagram i’d think it’s only natural i’m running into less likeminded people. but i dunno. i feel like some of it’s my fault. i’m a weird little giblet of a girl, aren’t i? and man do i EVER hate people. I’m a big hater.

everybody i meet these days just makes me drool because everyone’s some kind of Valorant Edater or Reddit Object Show Minor or The Hypersexual or Someone I’m Too Intimidated By or Someone Who Does Not Want To Be Talking To Me. where’s Literally Anything Else. Everyone i meet these days fits into those categories. Give me anything else. What is wrong with my Spaces

i really don’t know how people make friends online these days. i’m always posting these days about Haha I Need Friends and Haha I Need A Wife that falls endlessly into the empty infinite void (much like now) for a reason. no matter where i seem to go, i walk dragging my feet, half-lidded and unengaged with a soft scowl on my face. i’ll figure it out, right? i’ll certainly make new friends, right? because i have to, right?

i dont wanna go to work tomorrow dude

[the-b-journal]

Lady Miss Detty Episode 2 Truth Talking - The Essay 13 June 2024

How I Started Loving Men in Wigs

I witnessed a live drag performance for the first time ever yesterday and it was E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

It was my first time attending a pride-related event and it did NOT disappoint. I had so much fun with Rica and some of my friends from class. We were dancing and singing and just having a great time. I still can't believe i got to see Maxie and all the other amazing queens. I've always loved international drag queens but seeing some local ones, let alone from my own university, i cannot stress enough how incredibly proud i was.

I discovered drag back in 2020 when there was a pandemic going on and i had nothing better to do than scroll thru tiktok. Every now and then i would come across some videos of Trixie and Katya from their show UNHhhh. Back then, i had no idea who they were. I'm aware that they're men dressed as women, of course, but i didn't know that it's called drag and that there is a whole world centered around it. Still, i found myself finishing and liking their videos because they make me laugh and also because i was very attracted to the both of them (i still am!)

One day, i came across this video of Katya and Violet where they were doing a Fashion Photo Ruview of their season 7 sisters. I'm not even joking one bit when i tell you that my heart literally stopped when i saw that video of Violet for the first time. She was wearing this dominatrix leather outfit and she had like a half-up, half-down black wig with styling at the front (i don't know how to fucking describe a wig please spare me) and thought, "Oh my god. I've never seen a more beautiful human being in my life." And when i heard her laugh for the first time in that same video? It was over for me. I was done. She got me from that moment.

Until now, the effect she has on me is insane. She's just so unnaturally beautiful and confident and i fucking love her for it. Her drag aesthetic is IT for me. I was so into her that i made a drag race twitter stan account four years ago because i was going out of my mind keeping my love for her to myself. I think my account lasted for a good couple of months then i had to delete it because she did something stupid and people were hating on her. During that time, i accumulated quite a number of followers and made a couple of hit tweets about Violet making me known as one of the Violet Chacki stan account.

My account was doing so good and i made some drag race friends and i really felt like i was part of a community. But then shit hit the fan and people started accusing her of doing something bad so i decided to just delete it permanently. I'm a libra making me very bad at confrontations and there was no way in hell i'm gonna fight for my life everyday trying to defend her name when she doesn't even know i existed. And i think whatever people were saying about her, some of them was probably true. Because no matter how much i love her and how beautiful she is, she's still just a person. She's still a man.

So i left drag race stan twitter and just focused on other queens that aren't Violet. Mainly, Trixie and Katya. Talking about them and what their friendship means to me will never fail to make me emotional. Their videos are what started this whole thing for me and i cannot be grateful enough that those two white bald men exists. I remember back then, i was going through something rough and the only thing that got me through the day was their UNHhhh and I Like To Watch videos. In the process of getting to know T & K, i also got to know drag race and RuPaul and the thousands of other queens that the show produced. For some people it's reversed. They usually watch drag race first and after watching the queen on the show then they would watch other videos or shows that that queen has been on.

For me though, this might be a controversial take, but i actually don't watch drag race. The competing aspect of it is not for me. I don't like watching them lose and be sent home. It breaks my heart every single time. No matter who the queen is. So what i do instead is that if a queen on the show piqued my interest whether it be because of how she looked or how she performs, etc., then i would search her on youtube and start hyper fixating on her for a couple of weeks like a freaking neurotic. That way, i would actually know what that queen's personality is when there is no pressure of competition. This is just my personal take, everybody's different and me, personally, i don't really appreciate competitive shows.

With that being said, i'm going to confess that i've actually never finished a full season of drag race. I almost did with All Stars 7 but i think i got kinda busy so i just forgot about it. Drag race philippines too but i stopped watching when Brigiding got elimanated because she was my bias and i was rooting for her so hard that i cannot bring myself to watch her leave and not make it to the finale. Almost too with Marina on UK vs the World but again, i never finished it for some reason. I used to be embarrassed about this little fact but i think there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I love these queens because they deserve it and work hard for it. Whether i finished their season on drag race or not doesn't really fucking matter.

I'm thinking of writing more about Trixie and Katya but i think they deserve an essay that is solely about them. They have helped me through so much of my shit in life that i feel like as long as i have them and they exist and they're doing their thing, then i'll be fine. I have never had this kind of attachment to other celebrities and it shows just how much they mean to me.

I want to end this essay by saying that i am very grateful to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I mean yeah the idea of coming out to my parents and my relatives knowing i like women scares the shit out of me not because i'm afraid they're not gonna accept me (well i care about that a little bit) but mainly because i don't want to give them something to talk about. Just imagining them talking shit about me being gay behind my back makes me want to bash my head into the nearest wall.

But experiencing what i experienced yesterday, the solidarity of the queer people in my university, all kinds of people being their most authentic self without giving a single fuck, makes me feel so proud and happy to be a part of it. People can talk about us all they want but at the end of day, we're free. We're not doing anything wrong and we're not afraid to pursue what makes us happy even though in the eyes of many people, it's wrong.

I LOVE BEING QUEER AND I LOVE DRAG QUEENS !!!!

I cannot wait to attend more drag shows in the near future. I'm literally imagining spending my non existent money on buying show tickets and making it rain on the queens. It's my dream.

Again, if you reached this point, i love u!

HAPPY PRIDE : )))))))))

Xoxo

[bondsmagii]

Dude I'm legit considering deleting tiktok lately bc the takes are so so bad. I feel genuinely worried about the direction we as a society are walking towards and it's just so insane to watch it.

Like legit the way people talk about privilege on that app is insane. It feels like they've attached such a morality to privilege that it works like fucking badges. Like I'm underprivileged and therefore good and you're privileged therefore bad. And don't get me wrong, privilege should be acknowledge but human beings don't function under such binary ways. Saw someone making a tiktok grieving tuntakmon, a fucking kid, then being roasted by it bc they were grieving a "cishet privileged male" and the person then defended themselves by listing all the ways he was underprivileged. Like collecting minority points. It's insane. It such a dehumanizing way to look at humanity. And it's awful to talk about it bc I've always been down with the left and social justice and progressivness but it seems it has gone to such an extreme you've just walked a circle and ended on the same place you were trying to get away from. The way they navigate life demanding a sense of shame and ppl to be apologetic bc they are not morally clean enough or have privileges without recognizing that fucking everyone has privilege, one or the other, and yes it should be discussed but the goal shouldn't be hating on someone that has enough money to pay for a top surgery and "calling them ou on their privlege" but looking at the system that birthed that situation. Like I'm sick to my stomach with so much that I see there.

Saw someone saying that if you don't cut your friends after they cheat on their SO you're a bad person and everyone saying "if they betray the person they love imagine what would they do you?" Which for one by God the way society goes about putting romantic love above any other relationship is heartbreaking, the way that they assume someone ought to love their romantic love so much more than you, their friend, that imagine what they would do to you, whom they barely love at all in comparison. But mostly, can you imagine if your friend is like "hey dude I fucked up I cheated" and you're like "that's it. We are done"? The idea that people are nuanced and have motives for what they do is non existent. And it's not like I support cheaters but that was such a "hot take" and everyone was jumping on board and I'm just like "so you guys are just.. bad friend huh?"

And here's the thing: I do think we should strive to be better morally but not like this. God, not like this. And I get cutting people off if they do something you can't morally agree with it, but if it's someone you love, a friend, and you don't even given them the chance to explain themselves, do not even try to understand them, then that's fucked up. But here's the whole thing with this extreme extreme political correctness that is going around and where it makes me so very angry: it's not about others. It's not about trying to understand others or to grow as a society or to make things better to those who suffer under systematic oppression or any of this shit. Is just about complaining about things that don't matter, and being a good person in the most performative shallow way ever, the kind that has no regards for humanity and whose understanding of it lacks deeply because it refuses to look at humanity in its complexity instead of clear divisive lines.

And you know what? Fuck that. Fuck that so very hard. It pains me so much to see it. The way art had been suffering under this movement hurts me deeply. The way this movement actually promotes segregation and divisiness over anything else. The way that this movement reduces ppl to labels again and again hurts me. It's just disheartening. It's the same feeling I had and have towards culture appropriation: a movement that came to stop ppl disrespecting different cultures became a movement that divides and claims possession over things that were always meant to be shared. Culture is meant to be shared. To be learned. To be absorbed and reinvented again and again. That's the fucking pointtt

I'm angry and I'm frustrated. This search for a squick clean person will never be achieved. Humans will always be wrong and will always fucked up. Morality does not exist in a binary system, it is so very nuanced. You will never love someone if you can only love them when they are never fucking wrong. They will be wrong. No one has a perfect moral system. No one does. Plus If we continue this way, separating our culture into little boxes and giving them to whoever claimed it was theirs first, what will our future art look like? Our future food? Our future ideas? Inventions? When did humanity went from being a collaborative effort to being segregated groups taking claim over something that shall then never be enjoyed by anyone else?

This is a super long rant but I'm so very angry and came into your blog to dish it out bc I think maybe you can share the frustration with me

Also just saw someone saying that adopting is bad because it traumatizes the kid who had a biological bond with theit mother and if you adopt you're taking a child without their consent so I guess let kids die on the street then?

I hate hate hate tiktok

raising a glass to all of this and genuinely get what you mean here anon, I frequently honest to god feel like I'm going crazy because this kind of attitude is so interwoven with how people respond and interact to things now, and it's so widely accepted and even expected, that I often wonder what the fuck is in the water. I remember feeling shades of this way back in 2012 when this kind of attitude started on Tumblr and people started getting called out for every little thing, and since then I've watched it grow to such epic and unhinged proportions that it honestly horrifies me. I think that TikTok -- and the overarching attitudes that it's a perfect microcosm of -- have done irreversible damage to society, in multiple different areas. I would encourage absolutely everyone to delete that app, and also to severely limit their time on websites like Twitter and Tumblr. it is genuinely harmful to be exposed to this shit for too long; it quite literally rots your brain.

I'm a person with incredibly solid morals and I am not afraid to go against the party line, I will not be guilted or pressured or shamed into any attitudes or opinions that I don't have, and I consider myself to be completely separate from these attitudes, having never vibed with it even when it was new and still, on the surface at least, reasonable. even so, I have seen my own attitude towards things take a hit from being exposed to the garbage I see on Tumblr alone. the more time I spent on social media, the more aggressive and uncharitable I was, and the more suspicious I was of other people's motives for saying or believing things. it went against everything I know about myself, and it was honestly disturbing to see this kind of erosion of my own ability to think critically and weigh up arguments. I cut down my time on social media drastically, and spent time doing other things (mostly reading a lot of books!) and the difference is night and day. time slows down, there's room to think, you can make your own opinions in your own time without pressure and shaming from warring sides, you get to learn things and make mistakes and correct attitudes without being cancelled or whatever... like damn, nobody should have to go through the natural process of learning and growing in a panopticon where they'll only be remembered as their worst self. I feel desperately sorry for young people growing up in this environment, because it's honestly abusive; nobody has anyone's best interests at heart, they just want gotchas and moral righteousness over any genuine growth and progress.

the problem is that there's no nuance anymore. people honestly seem to believe that the world can be put into strict black-and-white, binary terms. nobody with privilege can suffer, and the less privilege you have, the more ideologically pure you are. this creates so many problems because it's bullshit. suffering does not discriminate, and nor does being a jerk. all of this incredible line-drawing is quite literally recreating segregation: we must all stick to our own "kind" and not doing so is cultural appropriation or being a race traitor, or otherwise "betraying" your community. it's also creating insanely condescending and patronising attitudes, and reinforcing harmful ideas -- I have seen people saying, completely seriously, things like "all womanhood is nothing but suffering," "we should hold Native writers to lower standards than white ones because Native storytelling can't be expected to be as good," "rich people can't be mentally ill/suffer abusive parents," "women can't do loads of stuff because it's too frightening and they're too emotionally volatile to do it," "people should primarily stick only to their own race/interracial relationships are cultural appropriation/inappropriate"... these people do not hear themselves literally taking giant leaps backwards. in the race to deify lack of privilege they are making any meaningful progress impossible. the world cannot fit into simple rules to ensure that morality is easy. the more simple you try to make it, the more deranged it's going to be in practise.

literally everything to do with society has been damaged by this attitude in some way, and said attitude is only becoming more accepted. everyone is in too deep to realise the harm they're doing, led by the outspoken minority who have never been in it for anything other than power and self-righteousness. I have long said that this online brand of leftism is a cult; it has all the hallmarks, and all the issues and criticisms of organised religion apply here. replace the concept of sin with the concept of privilege, and replace the concept of heaven with the concept of ideological perfection, and there you have it. absolutely no difference from the theory right down to the hypocritical way the people who are supposed to benefit the most are treated. this attitude is dragging us rapidly backwards in progress, and the people who practise it are just as brainwashed and idiotic as the thickest Qanon cultist.

thankfully there is a very easy cure. delete that shit, log off, and read widely. these attitudes thrive because they are so prevalent and aggressive that people are bullied or shamed into going along with it; they have no recourse and no way to speak up because they'll be shouted down. this is how the attitude thrives and spreads. separate yourself from it, do your thing, and while you'll never be able to change the minds of the people genuinely committed to this stuff (as at this point it is straight up delusional behaviour) you will be able to prove an alternative for the thousands of people out there who know it's bullshit but don't know where to begin untangling themselves.

for the record, a very, very good place to start is deleting TikTok.

[shoujoboy-restart]

Didn't Israel attack a celebrity for speaking out against the atrocities? Response to that post I just saw about them claiming the crisis actor thing.

Also about Israel, is everybody that still supports Israel are bad people like the people in that protest from days ago in Washington showing support towards them? Cuz I kind of do feel a little conflicted because one of those reasons involved the October 7th massacre, which is kind of rarely brought up and the focus is more on the Palestinians, which I'm not saying shouldn't be focused on but it looks like most people are making it seem like what Israel is doing is proof that every Jewish people are bad and that the Nazis had a point, which is something I feel like is alluded to somehow with the rise of anti-Semitic hate crimes around the world.

Like I mean come on a fucking man just killed a young boy to death because of this fucking conflict and this idea that Jewish people are the bad guys and the conflict shows that which I don't feel is fair at all to condone everybody because their government is following Hitler's steps with their own touch.

Yeah they tried to drag Bella Hadid(a model with Palestinian heritage) on their fucking Instagram stories, it was so patethic lmao.

I wouldn't say everyone who supports Israel is a bad person, that's a very pointless generalization, many of them are people that since babies believed this was some sort of birthright of them to have this land and all Palestinians were evil people who seeked to kill them, before the current conflict there was some random girl on TikTok who made storytime/vent about how she had these neighbors that were nice and lovely and sweet, but after she discoverwd they were Palestinian she immediately started to believe they would hate her, kill her hark and therefore want then harmed as well, again, completely unprovoked without any aggression from the neighbors, Zionist Jew are under some crazy powerful propaganda and cult like beliefs.

And it is absolutely disgusting to think every single Jew is somehow at fault for israel's actions, Netanyahu had a absolutely abysmall approval ratings before the conflict, and he will absolutely not be elected democratically again or still be in power if there any actual democracy in that place and the support for him is extremely isolated, Jews in and out of Israel have always protested and fought against the occupation.

Both Islamophobic and Antisemitic hate crimes are on the rise, and if you are talking talking about 6 year old Wadea Al-Fayoume that killed by his landlord it is absolutely a case of how the media was at first reporting completely favourably of the Israel government:

“The father said [the landlord] had built a tree house for the boy and allowed him to swim in a makeshift pool and brought him toys. But it wasn’t until he started watching the news and hearing the statements [about the war] that something changed,”

Obviously there was probably some sort on mental illness at fault too(still not enough for a insanity please as of now it seems), but divise politics got a whole generation of people saying and protesting wanting a little black girl hanged and lynched for just wanting to go school as well.

Although I don't agree with the Hitler comparison(even thought the Israel got caught saying the whole "children of children's, children of darkness" shit that was found to be a mindset within the SS army) yeah Jews shouldn't be penalized for what Israel is doing, not Israel citizens should, we can complain about collective punishemwnt for Gazans and Palestinian and then make excuse for the same thing with Jews and Israelis

[minkkumaz]

gosh.. omi.. jisung brainrots r so real.. on my way home i was thinking abt this one comment i saw on tiktok about him? and it was something about how Jisung admitted to crushing on people easily..? not sure if thats true!! but! ill pretend it is!!

WHICH HAD ME THINKING. jisung reads webtoon & watches a bit of anime.. and we all know anime openings r SO GOOD. SO SO GOOD. and one day hes watching this show, and when he hears the opening hes like 🤔🤩. So of course he adds it to his playlist.. a few days later he finds himself listening to the whole discography.. which leads him into googling the artist. (spoiler alert: its u!)

a few days later, he decides to go live.. while reading the comments he gets asked for a song recommendation. and hes like.. “actually i’ve been listening to these songs often..” and he ends up just going on a little rant abt the readers songs ><

his fans find that he has nearly every single song the reader made added to his playlist.. a certified stan!

one day mark and him were at the gym, and mark could heard jisungs music blasting out of his headphones. so naturally mark asks about it, googles the artists name and teases him. “oooh you guys are the same age”

“stop being weird..”

a week or two later nctdream has been invited to an event with many other artists in japan. and as they prep for it, mark realizes that jisungs lil celebrity crush (you) was performing the day before their performance. mark lets jisung know about this, and jisung goes, 😲😲🤩🤩🤩.

when they all arrive at japan, jisung immediately asks the staff to visit the venue the day before their performance; in hopes of witnessing his favorite songs (and you..) live. once he gets the OK he couldnt be more excited. purchases VIP tickets and makes sure hes able to arrive so he can stay by the barricades.

Finally, the day comes and when you step on the stage he instantly becomes enamored. (u cant tell me idols never have idol crushes because who could resist any of them..) the singing, your stage presence, your charm is just irresistible to him. and he SWEARS he goes insane once you make eyecontact with him and wink. IDOLS ARE THE BEST! quoted by jisung himself.

after that event, he clearly gets why the audience goes insane every time an idol just breathes.

YOU! on the other hand are performing until a pretty masked face with dark blue hair catches your attention. all of a sudden ur stealing glances and approaching his section more often. after the performance theres a sendoff! and when jisung is face to face with u, he cant help but get all shy and nervous. he gets a selfie and your signature and best believe thats gonna be his wallpaper.

the day after, reader decides to spend their day off watching the other performances in the venue, and notices how theres a familiar, blue haired performer. jisung swears he sees a familiar silhouette in the crowd but believes his eyes are playing tricks on him..

though after the performance, he opens his phone to find you following him back on insta.

(extra!! reader finds little clips of jisung swooning over their music. very cute!!)

GRGRGRHRHR JISUNG BRAINROTS R INVADING ME RN.. gosh i love little tropes of mutual pinning and soft launching relationships. IDK WHY BUT EXPOSURE JUST DOES IT FOR ME! like yes talk abt me to ur friends!!!

-🍉

OMG YOU WENT CRAZY WITH THIS IMAGINE ITS SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!!

jisung getting all giddy about idol reader is so cute, and especially him buying vip and getting barricade 3: idols doing stuff that their fanbases usually do is just so funny to me like imagining him with a lightstick and a picket has me rolling on the floor LMAOOOO

THEN READER WATCHING HIM THE NEXT DAY AND FINDING OUT ABOUT HIM :( THEN FOLLOWING HIM AND STUFF :( ALL THOSE INTERACTIONS ARE SO SWEET

normally i'm not the biggest on idol reader for some reason, i have no idea why BUT THIS ONE IS JUST THE CUTEST

omg and yes you're so right about exposure, like if your partner isn't talking about you every second of the day are they really your partner ?!?!

[stevebabey]

I'm the first anon, thank you so much for understanding. I have those feelings for months now and I'm going crazy lmao.

I wish I could get into character x character stuff, but unfortunately, my stupid brain loves to consume stuff through self insert, so x reader is my preferred outlet for everything :/ I just feel like I don't belong anywhere in this fandom rn in terms of content creation. I'm not into most x reader stuff and I like to explore more character things, but I also don't really belong in there because I'm not a shipper.

It's just so frustrating to see, and the other anon was right. The tiktokification of media and fandoms in general is insane to watch. Like I saw a tiktok that complained that the Poppy War by Rf Kuang was boring because it had no spice. M'am, this is a book about war? 😭 Or, like everything is described in tropes (that's a problem for books, not fanfic per se) for fast consumption, the plot doesn't matter if certain scenarios are not ticked off. Not to mention AI and things like characterAI where people just get quickly what they want without using really their imagination (plus them not caring that this is stealing from real people).

And yeah, the whole minor part. It's insane to tell 12 year olds, that virgins write the best stuff. I'm reading and writing fics since I was 14, and I'm "lucky" I wasn't really exposed to those things until I was 16. English isn't my first language, so fanfics were a bit limited, I guess (plus having a very nieche interest that didn't reach international fame and fandom). Also, I mostly consumed stuff from friends I know irl and we had a few spicy scenes because we were curious, but we never got exposed to hardcore smut. I'm not saying there should be no smut at all, everyone is free to express themselves. It's a problem if the fandom is only that because it creates a space not everyone has access to or gets messed up. Fandom is community and everyone should feel welcome. If I was a minor and all writer blogs tell me to fuck off because they only write mature things, idk if I would even wanna stay. Which is also another problem because fandoms die out so quickly as it is.

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this exactly because you already said everything and I agree with you. <33

omg you say you don't know where you're going with this but brought up so many good POINTS

you're not crazy and you're definitely not the only one feeling that way!! i understand completely and it's infuriating that the topic of it is almost tongue in cheek in this fandom and lots of people feel they would be better off biting their tongue than expressing that frustration ://

character x character is something that takes a hot minute to get into i've found, i've honestly only just gotten into it within the last year or so (because i also struggle with like ocs and the like) but i am a long lover of the self insert i can't even lie <3

but there's like a difference between the way you describe this!! i think you're very much like me and it's like a genuine love for a character that drives your desire for writing self-insert- its like i love this dude so much and i want them to be happy and i want to be that source of happiness, i want to be that first kiss or gentle touch they need :D

andddd that's my problem with so much of the smut-leaning fics. where's the soul!?! where's the driving heart of the story? the best fics are the most self indulgent because you can see the best parts of someone in them !!!!

i'm really sorry that you feel like you don't have a place in this fandom but you do definitely belong here honey- fandom is supposed to be a community and there's no prerequisite to existing here at all and the fact there feels like there are certain amounts you have to succeed in to be a writer is so just bleh

tiktok is a goddam brainrotting place lmao and every day im not on it is a great one! the trope shit is SO true, like the idea that if you can check a few boxes (one of those things being smut) its the thing that makes a piece good instead of how it's written and the passion for the story like ugh and don't even get me started on ai 😭 that is a shitshow in itself and anyone who uses that to write fics or complete other peoples fics are absolute garbage people

the minor thing is yeah completely fucked and you raise SUCH a good point about how it limits the spaces that they can occupy which is so fucking stupid cos how many of us started in fandom at young ages??? everyone should feel welcome! and god the thought of someone trying to so hard to avoid nsfw content but just to have it shoved down their throat in every other post and also having so many writers telling them to fuck off ur so right, i wouldn't wanna stay either!

and it's just so so so sad because there are a thousand people who i WISH would write their ideas, write their fics, whether its bad or good first time around because THAT is the point of fandom. love for the source! new ideas! people's new takes on old tropes over and over :D

ah you opened the floodgate in me.... you didn't ask for advice but truly, write the most self indulgent stuff ever and it can't lead you wrong. i hope the culture of fandom changes and every time you ignore the urge to write for what u think people will like and just write what you want, we all get a little bit closer to that change :")

[songsforthepierce]

Odd Tracks: They’re Coming to Take Me Away Ha! Haa!... - Napoleon XIV

So this is a song I haven’t thought about in YEARS. when I was looking through what music I had I saw this and went “...oh yeah, this song.”

I debated about doing this but content warning for light discussions on ableism and institutionalization. I didn’t really expect doing that on this fucking song but here we are.

So I found this song in a video that was similar to AMV Hell back in...maaaybe 2007 or 2008? Hard to remember. But anyway, I remember buying the song, listening to it from time to time and then just moved on. Now that I came back to this song I realized this only could have been used during the big AMV Hell era of the time. I cannot imagine this being used today. Well I say that when as I am typing this maybe someone will use it in a TikTok or something.

I looked into this song and learned some things. First off is that the artist goes under Napoleon XIV which I know isn’t interesting but to me the only reason that stands out is because when I got it on itunes at the time they label him under “Napoleon’s Ghost”. Why? I don’t know. Moving on from that the artist’s real name is Jerry Samuels and he is from America. Secondly the song was released in 1966 and was a chart hit reaching number 1 on U.S. Cash Box Top 100, number 3 on US Billboard Top 100, number 4 in UK Singles Chart, number 2 on Canada RPM Top Singles, and number 40 on Australia’s Kent Music Report. I am actually surprised it topped that high in the US, Canada, and UK during the time period (find it funny it was lower in Australia though). You know, I can 100% believe this being a one hit wonder. Novelty songs getting that status isn’t new (i.e. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer). However, this being high within most of the charts is what baffles me. It being number 40? more believable. But it being within the top 4? That is just confusing for me. Was there nothing else going on in 1966 for this to happen? I guess so. Hell, the guy was awarded a gold disc. Well with all of that said what is this song about? What made this such a hit?

The song is about a man, or in this case Napoleon XIV (this was Jerry’s character or something), being taken away to a mental institution. Why? Because his girlfriend broke up with him which is what is causing his insanity. Actually wait, no, it was because he lost his dog. Haha...funny...okay look, I get it is one of those “Oh tee hee look how CRAZY this character is. Oh isn’t it funny they went insane and are being institutionalized! Oh how quirky!” songs which are not uncommon. I am not gonna say it is the worse song or even the worse song about this type of thing. But I will say it did not really age well and it is very much partially a product of the culture. Well I say partially because Samuels did point out he felt like this song would come off like it was making fun of the mentally ill but that him throwing in the line at the end about the dog would somehow make this okay. You know, how wikipedia worded what he said is weirdly better than what he actually said at the time. The whole “Sickies” line is not great. I know I could talk about how a song like this technically makes light about mental illness and institutionalization especially since the abuse that goes on in places as such has gotten more attention over the years. However, I think we all know this and I already stated my general feelings on the song. Plus the guy was 28 at the time which does explain his attitude at the time. Nowadays I actually don’t know what he does and frankly I really don’t care.Though, I would I have ended this all here but I found more info on the song.

The song you may noticed uses snare drum, bass drum, tambourine, and hand clap rhythm throughout. Samuels’ vocals are not sung melodically but instead spoken rhythmically while the pitch of his vocals rises and falls at key points which creates an odd glissando effect. This is increased by the wailing sirens that were added in the song as well. Now this made me look up what a glissando is which is described as “a glide to one pitch to another”. Though what was interesting to me was the fact that Samuels was able to do the vocal pitch shifts by basically doing a variation on what the creator of Alvin and the Chipmunks did. Samuels at the time was working as a record engineer at the time which does explain all the sound stuff he was able to do on the track. A lot of it is talked about in Who Wrote a Book About Love? which I actually recommend reading the parts where he talks about all the technical stuff he did for the song. To be honest how he made the more technical aspects of the song is way more interesting than the song itself. I would have also ended all this here but then I found out this song as sequels.

Okay yeah, this song has sequels which I do not understand. Yes, this was a popular song which got banned by some stations because of the subject matter but were there people who REALLY wanted a sequel to this? Though I guess before I talk about that I should start will saying this song has a B-side. So the B-side is the same song but it is played in reverse. This fucking sounds like a song people would try to make theories about subliminal messages being inserted in. That or something out of a bad creepypasta. The most notable thing about this song is that rock critic, Dave Marsh, in his book Book of Rock Lists said the B-side is the “most obnoxious song ever to appear in a jukebox” which he claims this song cleared out a diner of forty people two minutes flat. I don’t know why but that made me remember that whole What’s New Pussy Cat meme from years back. Anyway, the fact this B-side was on a jukebox in a diner is just baffling to me. Why would someone put that on there unless they really wanted to annoy everyone in the restaurant? I would leave too if that came on. Now that I got the B-side out of the way now I can talk about the multiple sequels. The first one is I'm Happy They Took You Away, Ha-Haaa! and it’s just the same fucking song. The instrumentals sound like a bootleg of the original. The only difference is that this is about the woman happy she sent the guy away. The only notable things about this song was this was recorded Bryna Raeburn of CBS Radio Mystery Theater under Josephine XV. The second sequel is They Took You Away, I'm Glad, I'm Glad  which is I guess recorded by Josephine which appeared on These Are the Hits, You Silly Savages by Teddy & Darrel. The video of someone playing it on a promotional CD is all I could really find. I think there was one other video with the song but I guess this wasn’t popular. I am not shocked though because it is just the same song, again. I am not going to count the variation of the original song where Samuels says, “THEY'RE TRYING TO DRIVE ME SANE!!! HA HA“ different at the end as a sequel but I guess I should mention it for completion sake. “Emperor Bob” Hudson made a song called I’m Normal which is about the brother of the main character with the claims that no one will get him because he is so normal. The concept on paper sounded more funny to interesting for me because it just makes me think of all of those “I’m so normal memes”. Sadly when I listened to the song it sucked. How many times are they going to make the same song but slightly alter the tune of the song? Well, I guess they only did this four times because the forth and final sequel was made by Sameuls himself in 1988. All the other sequels were made in 1966, the same year as the original, which kind of makes sense with the fact that would be at the height of the popularity of the original. But 1988 feels like it is late to the party. Anyway, the last sequel is called They're Coming To Get Me Again, Ha Haaa! where Napoleon XIV has been released from institutionalization but alas that doesn’t last long as his fear of going back leads him being taken in. My opinion on all of these songs is lower than the original mainly because they really don’t really do much from the original concept. All of them just sound like bootlegs of one another but not even an enjoyable bootleg.

I was originally going to look into the covers of this song (yes this song had covers) but I just don’t care anymore. I already spent more time on this song than I originally intended. So yeah, this song exists and I won’t be listening to it or any of it’s variants again.

[amaras-entire-bra1n]

My problem with the clean girl makeup

I know bold topic to start with but this is why i dont really like the clean girl makeup aesthetic because its quite toxic and creating yet another beauty standards.

the picture above is an example of the clean girl makeup and right off the bat i would like to say that this woman is very pretty and when i first saw this type of makeup i didnt even know that it was makeup i thought it was just a really pretty woman which is one of my problems with this type of makeup

this is the type of makeup we used to do.lots of orange foundation,lots eyeshadows,insane eyeliner and huge lashes.I like this type of makeup way more and not saying i like makeup in itself i dont really like it or how it looks on me but this is way better to do and here is why

so ill be breaking this topic into 3 parts

1.what the clean girl makeup is

2.my problems with it

3.the effect and standards it caused

What is clean girl makeup?

clean girl makeup is a makeup trend that makes it look like you are wearing little to no makeup when actually you're wearing tons of it but not too much

My problems with clean girl makeup.

i have a problem with clean girl makeup because its sole purpose is to create the illusion that you are wearing no makeup which in itself should tell you why its dangerous but it makes it harder for you to tell that you are wearing makeup. I mean i think its great we aren't wearing as much makeup as we used to and is kind of dying down the impossible Instagram face standard but it also created a way worse standard.

The effect and standards it caused.

so because of this clean girl makeup, unsuspecting young women or just women in general will think this is real and these women have no makeup on causing them to think that is how they should look and they should have flawless skin, no pores and long eyelashes not to mention that some of the women who do this type of makeup don't say its makeup but instead claim that is their face with no makeup and most of the time when you see this makeup on Pinterest ,TikTok, etc. its makeup and filters which is even worse for women but speaking about men on this topic, men also think that the women that do this makeup have no makeup and they create that standard for women which just make women make themselves hate themselves even more

but those are my thoughts,let me know what you think,if there is somethings you want me to talk about just let me know.

i love you all,thank you for reading if you read the whole way and make sure to love your self<3

[schnellonline]

I cannot sleep right now, because I have formulated a simply epic dissertation on something that I've probably complained about before regarding the modern internet.

This is very long and can come off as overly serious and preachy, but it's my blog so I can do whatever I want.

The internet being incredibly accessible nowadays is such a double-edged sword for any sort of idea or concept. Like, yeah, your idea can spread faster and farther than ever before. That's great for some things. But it means your thing can also burn out faster too without ever truly being digested by the greater internet audience. Like people noticed this stuff over a decade ago when it came to really simple things like memes.

People would just parrot them and absolutely run them into the ground without ever understanding the true meaning and origin for them. Was it important to know both of those things to enjoy a rage comic or whatever? Probably not. All memes or ideas are obviously made for humans by humans so there's this like this baseline understanding to them that we all get in one way or another. You don't always need context for a Troll face, but for some memes or jokes the context can like make whatever meme or idea like 100x more enjoyable or shed them in a different light. I don't know how to describe it to be honest.

I think another thing is how easily digestable everything is now regarding the internet. Everything is so absolutely streamlined and consolidated to a sickening degree. Short-form media consumption is just insane to me. Why watch a movie when you can watch a 15 min review? Or a 1 minute long TikTok? Or a 30 min video essay by a boring guy? Why put in the effort to actually learn about and engage yourself in a piece of media or literature or whatever? People have pre-chewed it and set it down on a nice little plate for you to easily digest. What if they got info wrong or their ideas or harmful? Who cares! Just move onto the next thing. Don't think about. The algorithm thinks you should watch this next! Keep scrolling and keep consuming the next piece of media without ever really thinking about it. Never question it. It's so absolutely bizarre to me. Maybe it's because I'm probably autistic or something. I personally like to know every single thing about a something until I'm satisfied and can move on. That form of media consumption where you're constantly taking in new things and shove them out of your thoughts to make room for other shit cannot be good for you. It definitely ruins your attention span. It's just information and sensory overload. It gives me a fucking headache sometimes when I'm scrolling through Twitter or YouTube. It is so absolutely mind-numbing.

Like for example: Iceberg explained videos. The whole concept of the Iceberg images was to rank the obscurity and niche-ness of certain things from most well-known to least. It was a natural progress from top to bottom. You knew the stuff at the top, but wanted to know more so you moved down. You saw things you didn't recognize as you moved down. It incentivizes you to do research. To ask around. To do more than just basic cursory Google searches. I found a lot of cool and niche communities through my research on these Iceberg charts and the mystique and inaccessible nature of them just pushed me more to do harder research. It made it exciting to take risks and explore the collective internet. It was exciting! I loved mulling over something for days so I could learn more about it.

But now there's like 30 min to 2 hr long multiple part YouTube video series breaking down that exact chart and EVERYTHING about it and ruining any sort of mysterious and fun quality to it. Why do the research when some boring podcast dude did all the work for you? Who cares if his info is wrong and is misrepresenting something important? Just move on. Consume the next thing. Fuck Wendigoon, dude. I hate that cunt.

It is just SO lazy to get all your info from shit like that. The algorithm chucks it at you, because you fit a demographic. It's consolidating culture. It's making these things blunt and explaining everything to you so you don't have to think. People won't believe you or take you seriously or care unless its popular and its been fact-checked by Snopes or whatever. Fuck that, dude. Bring back wild west internet.

Everything you like will become bastardized at some point. Those trendy late adopters who immerse themselves in the algorithmically controlled pop culture will ruin everything you love and permanently soil it. They will move onto the next thing and leave you there in the dust. They're like cultural locusts. The people/entities harbingering them are probably the worst thing to happen to the Internet and information.

[maxe-murderer]

Saw your tags on the post about kids not being computer literate and you saying that kids just don't know how to do something new and I'm a high school music teacher and that is so unbelievably true.

I'll have 30+ kids in a room and each will wait until I'm standing next to them to do anything. They get bored easily and don't know how to just play around, they need their hand held constantly. It makes it so so difficult to teach when I'm constantly running around and each kid wants me to only pay attention to them!

I've tried to show them how to compose and give them instructions and they're still so lost all the time. They all just seem kind of dead inside, not really caring what happens around them.

I don't mean to insult these kids, more just say that I totally understand what you're saying. Everyone is seeing it now. Most kids were never taught to care it seems, they just passively move through their own lives. And then they tell me that they're bored and I'm pointing to all the options they have of things to explore and learn and they just never want to try any of it. It's so so frustrating.

its absolutely insane how much kids seemingly just cant care. ill stand by the statement that last years high school seniors were the last class where the vast majority made it out of covid online school mostly ok. high school seniors rn missed freshman year and the rest missed a year of middle school which we're seeing very obviously affecting everything abt them rn. a lot of kids straight up don't know what a passing period is, social skills have been super stunted cause they were spending middle school isolated and on tiktok, and yeah, no one knows how to care.

cause theyve not rlly been given a reason to, you know? they were thrown into what easily felt like to end of the world when they were too young to do anything abt it and too young to properly understand it. all while they don't get the routine of going to school, they cant do the extracurriculars they like, they're not allowed to hang out with their friends. Some of the most important years for a lot of development were spent being told nothing but all the horrible things going on in the world. "if everything is this awful and there's nothing (I'm able) to do about it why does any of this matter" sorta thing.

and they dont have the skills needed to deal with that. then they also don't have a lot of the skills needed to be a functional student so they're struggling there too - not necessarily with their grades, but I think you know what I mean. freshman year is when you learn to be a high schooler in both the academic/going between classes sense and in the social sense and middle school is when you learn to be like, a person. without that you get a bunch of high schoolers acting like middle or even elementary schoolers with a high schooler's knowledge of everything that's awful and they still don't have the ability to do anything abt it.

they dont see a reason to care and they don't know how to just try things cause they didn't have the space to just try things for a while. online they were given their assignments and that was it. extracurriculars that continued online didn't help either - like, online theater was so focused on "can we get this done" that there wasn't a whole lot of space for the actors to try and properly act beyond say the words and putting a little bit of something into it - and a lot of those extracurriculars that did continue online couldn't always include all of the kids who would be a part of them normally - again, theater, you couldn't have any kids doing tech beyond maybe an AD and/or SM. like shit dude, if I was in their position id feel fucked!

and its definitely easier to notice with younger kids. they have a worse version of the stunted social skills. the only way I can describe it is that these kids are spoiled. not necessarily spoiled in the traditional sense but for a while their world consisted of online school, most likely being put in front of an iPad cause their parents had to work or take care of the house or were just too tired themselves (and some were just bad parents, and oh boy can you tell when a kid is an iPad iPad kid), and then being the only or one of the only things for their parents to pay attention to. If they have siblings its still only a few ppl to split attention between and if the sibling(s) is older then they could have still gotten the majority of the attention, and if they're an only child then they were seemingly the center of the world for a while to them.

so a lot of them dont know how to share attention and they don't know how to not be told exactly what to do. they don't know how to have fun if they're not told how to (unless its like, roblox, not even Minecraft a lot of them don't know how to play Minecraft!) working summer camp, I had so much trouble getting kids to be engaged in stuff that they liked. the kids who signed up for theater classes cause they like theater barely wanted to do theater. the only classes I didn't struggle to get them engaged with was the art classes that everyone wanted to sign up for, photography (it was mostly older kids and more importantly I think, using ipads), and oddly enough the asl class (I think because that one was so specific compared to the other classes that it rlly was only kids who were interested, and I think kids find sign language cool in general. like "wow I can talk with my hands!" or "oh cool we heard abt this in that one book we read!" sorta thing).

im sure you know this, and idk how coherent this ramble is. ive just been thinking abt this for a while cause of just how insane it is to me. cause from what I've seen these kids arent rlly learning all those skills they missed out on. they're just gone.

[inkofamethyst]

November 28, 2022

TWO MORE WEEKS TWO MORE WEEKS (I suppose it’s more like three if you count finals, but I trust that I should be able to skirt myself out of two of them and my take-home final shouldn’t take all that much time and I can (probably) write an essay in two days easy-peasy.  It’s more like there’s only two more weeks of work work.)

As exciting as that would be, there’s so much that I have to complete in the next two weeks it’s almost insane.

I watched a tiktok the other day which was like “I take walks through the woods because they’re good for my mental health... not at all because I’m microdosing a flight response” and.. I try my very best not to take everything I hear on that clock app as truth but.. that one.. it’s either a really good joke, or I have some looking inward to do.  My response to feeling overwhelmed is, in fact, to briskly walk around campus by myself at night for an hour or so.  Hm.

I remember when I was first figuring out this whole grad application thing and freaking out about forming a potential project because I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but I think the truth is that most applicants fake it and put down something, fully expecting to revise it in the future.  And that’s okay!  I’m totally making stuff up the whole time but that’s absolutely fine. [Edit: Actually, no, this sucks, I feel like an idiot and I hate that this one school is asking me to propose a whole project, like,,,, huh I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point]

Though, I was planning on submitting all of my apps today, and my transcripts have still not come in???  Like I need to upload them myself and there’s been a sending error or something and I’m kind of pressed because I told my recommenders that it’d be done today and for some reason that’s not happening and I’m a little peeved.

Today I’m thankful for tricolor Christmas pasta!  A few weeks ago I saw it at the store and it looked too cute to not buy and you know what?  I haven’t had shaped pasta in years but it’s fantastically festive and terribly cute.

I’m also thankful that I went out with some people after choir practice tonight.  Not to eat, just to hang.  I’ve been stressed all day about getting this application in and really just needed some chill time away from it.  It does mean that I have a lot to do tonight (exam, proposal draft, discussion board, and application essays all coming up hhhhh I’m only going to work on two of those tonight but still) before I can go to sleep but you know what?  So be it.

And I suppose I’m also thankful that I still have a buffer period of a few days for this transcript thing and that I should still be okay... yeah.  I will have to inform my recommenders of the delay, but at least I should still be able to get it in before the deadline.  I feel so anxious right now that I can’t even bring myself to eat... I hate this.  One thing I can look forward to though is that after my first round of apps are in, I can celebrate with a new episode of Welcome to Night Vale on the first (coincidentally also the day of my evo exam :/).

Lastly, I’m thankful that the email (at least, one of them, anyway (...I’m probably just not going to send the other ones and just risk it)) I’ve been procrastinating for a month or so and finally sent today got an immediate response with no fuss, no hassle.  It was amazing and much needed.

Wait hold on one more: I’m also thankful that I’m not continually feeling down anymore like I was a few weeks ago.  Sure I’m nervous about this first round of applications, but I don’t feel, just, dead.  I suppose this means I’m also also thankful that I’m doing better mental health-wise than I was at this point four years ago, though “My head hurts; I want to go to bed soon.” is too relatable of a sentiment for how I’m legitimately feeling at this point in time.