#something something i need to let my silly little brain create my silly little stories to make it release the silly little chemicals i need

[muirmarie]

Here's your updated Mcspirk Bingo Card! Please don't forget to tag the blog in any creations you post. :)

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Thank you again for doing this!

[margotw10bis]

Blank Pages. JJK [m]

bestfriend!jungkook x reader

Genre: one-shot; smut; romance; non-idol!jk; f2l

Words: 8k

Synopsis: You have a secret: you're a popular writer on Wattpad. The worst thing that could happen is your best friend Jungkook to discover that your erotic novels are about him...

Warning: protected sex; oral sex (f. receiving); writing of sex scenes

JK was pounding into me at an animalistic pace. I couldn't help screaming his name due to the overstimulation of the three precedent orgasms. His grip around my hips tightened as he was reaching his high. A few more dick strokes were provided before I could feel his hot shots of cum inside my pussy.

It didn't take long for the both of us to fall asleep, exhausted by the intense sex ride.

Your cheeks are red when you finish posting the new chapter of your story on your Wattpad account. Vivid images of the imaginary roll in the hay fill your brain — and your panties with wetness. You always feel the same after writing a sex scene starring your best friend: horny and guilty. You can't imagine how Jungkook would react if he knew he was the main character of a popular erotic online novel... You would die of embarrassment, knowing your best friend, whom you are madly in love with, had discovered your deepest sexual fantasies — featuring him. On the other hand, writing those filthy stories is your way to control both your feelings and your desires. Jungkook is your best friend, you can't risk your friendship.

You didn't have any thoughts other than trying to contain your sexual attraction for him when you created your Wattpad account. You had never thought that so many people would read your stories. You can't deny that you feel kind of proud that people love your writings but you also feel horrified that so many strangers are fantasying — and obviously masturbating — on your best friend. You are so glad that you kind of anonymized him by using his nickname JK. You mean, people could think it stands for Jin-Keon, right?

Just as if you needed some reminder that your writing is nothing but fiction, your phone screen brights up to notify a new message from the very same Jungkook.

'Hi, buddy! We're going to the club with the guys, wanna join?'

You hate so much when Jungkook calls you 'buddy'. It's so far away from the nicknames you wish he'd give you. In your stories, JK always uses 'baby', 'babe', sweetheart' and this is what you want... Not a stupid 'buddy' like you were his classmate in sixth grade!

You growl in frustration and answer that you're too tired and you're just going to bed. Your best friend replies that he is disappointed not to see you tonight and you hate how your weak stupid heart melts at that. You are also disappointed not to see him tonight or every single day of your life. You wish you could go home after work and know that Jungkook is waiting for you before heading to bed, together. You know damn well those are silly thoughts and maybe that's why they hurt so much. They are too far away from reality.

As you think.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

You hum, half-asleep as you feel something moving against you. You tighten your arms around the thing next to you to keep it still. However, it moves again to softly caress your hair.

"Y/N, let's go to bed" A whispered voice says

You lowly growl and bury your face deeper into the thing you're hugging. If you weren't in this sleepy state, you could notice that what you have in your arms is actually Jungkook. He doesn't really mind and it's not the first time your movie night ends up with you falling asleep. He'd just let you gradually collapse on him because he knows you always feel cold when you are sleeping. So he is happy to provide some warmth while you're visiting Morpheus' world. He even rested his arm around your shoulders to be a little more comfortable to watch the end of the movie — and enjoying this excuse to hug you.

But now, the film has ended and the couch is not the best place for a full night of slumber. Jungkook sighs when he accepts the fact that you just won't wake up. He tries, as gently as he can, to stand up and lifts you up in his arms. He pushes his bedroom door open with his foot, which causes him to almost loose balance. Finally, his mission is a success when he lands you on his bed without waking you. He smiles softly as he looks at you. He wonders what you are dreaming about right now. Are you having nightmares because of the horror movie? Or are you in a happy place full of your loved ones? He hopes for the latest.

He heads to the bathroom, brushes his teeth and joins you in bed. He knows you don't bother sleeping with him — it's not the first time either. And honestly, if he knew your feelings for him, he could be even more aware of how poorly you care. He makes sure the covers are tightly wrapped around you and scoots closer to hug you. He likes how your smaller body fits in his embrace — it's way better than his usual pillow. He gives you a small peck on the top of your hair and follows you in dreamland.

The sunlight coming through the unwell closed curtains wakes you up. You're surprised not to feel cold as usual in the morning. You want to lift your hand to rub your swollen eyes but you can't: something, or more like someone is completely wrapped around you. Your eyes snap open when you realize it's Jungkook. You turn your head and your heart melts at the sight: his sleepy face is so cute, especially with his pouty lips. You're close enough to clearly see his scar on the cheek as well as the little molds on his nose and under his lower lip. You wish you could taste its softness. You move carefully to free one arm and you caress your best friend's hair as softly as you can to not wake him up. You almost moan when you feel how silky it is underneath your fingertips. God, Jungkook is so perfect that it hurts to look at him.

Your heart beats fast in your chest due to the proximity but it suddenly stops when Jungkook, in his sleepless, presses you closer against his body. And then, you feel it. As clear as day. His morning wood. It stands hard against your lower belly and you gulp. Does your saliva drive straight to your pussy? Because your panties are now soaked. Oh god, Jungkook's cock is pressed against you and you love it. All kind of sinful scenarios take control of your brain and you wish your best friend was a sleepwalker but more like a sleepfucker. Okay, you are clearly deranged...

A normal person would try to bring some space between your two bodies but you do the opposite: you scoot closer, almost grinding on his boner.

Small sleepy growls from Jungkook make you stop moving as you really don't want your best friend to know how much of a sexual freak he is turning you into.

"Good morning, goober" Jungkook says with his sexy raspy voice before kissing your forehead

"Hi" You reply with cheeks as red as a tomato

Fuck, you still feel his dick but Jungkook doesn't seem in a rush of stepping away. Does he not feel it? Or maybe he does and he needs some friction because he fucking holds you tighter. You wish you could feel embarrassed but it's not the main emotion you experience: your horniness takes the most of you. If Jungkook doesn't release you soon, you could jump on him to ride him. Perhaps all the hot sex scenes you have written are messing up with your brain and you can't distance fantasy from reality.

(Un)fortunately, your best friend frees you to stretch. You try your best not to peak at the tent of the sheets caused by his hard-on. Jungkook leaves the bed and stands up in front of you, asking about breakfast with a very distant — according to you — voice. However, you can't focus on any words he is saying because the only thing that gets your attention is his — huge — bulge in his boxing shorts. He clearly doesn't wear any briefs and your mouth waters at the fact there is just one layer of fabric separating you from his cock — and also a whole moral code but you can't care about it right now. On the hand, it's not like Jungkook would stop you but you don't have any idea of it. A sparkle of playfulness brightens his doe eyes as he notices how you are gazing at his dick.

"Are you even listening to me?" Jungkook asks while snapping his fingers right in front of your face

"I-Jungkook, you..." You start but struggle to find the words that won't make you look like a sexual freak

"What?"

"You, uhm, seem to be awaken" You eventually decide to say

Jungkook looks at you with a faked questioning face and you point at this crotch. Rather than to be embarrassed, your best friend smirks proudly.

"Impressed, right?" He teases you and your cheeks take a new brighter tint of red

"Jungkook!" You scold him but you secretly are impressed by his obvious blessed area — way bigger than you have wrote

Your best friend just laughs with his childlike cheerful chuckle and announces that he'll cook some rice with sausages. You fall back on the bed, sighing in frustration. Jungkook is driving you crazy and you wish you could take off his wry smile by sitting on his pretty face. However, you decide it would be wiser to just sit on a chair and have breakfast with him.

"I could like to go to Songdo Beach today and go on a ride of the Busan AirCruise" You say at one point, your mouth full of food which makes barely impossible for Jungkook to understand you

"Why? You already did it a hundred of times"

"But it's raining today!" You pout "You know I love the atmosphere the rain gives to the skyline"

Your best friend does know it. You have told him countless of times how relaxing you find the sound of the rain on the glass cable car and the pale blue, almost lavender color, the Busan sky gets tinted on rainy days. Jungkook sighs to pretend it's a burden to go with you but you both know he likes it too.

As usual, the queue is not that long. Busan people tend to stay home or to take shelter in the numerous trendy coffees. What a shame people don't appreciate how nice it is to fly upon the near ocean while raindrops surround you. As usual, Jungkook buys the tickets for the two of you. You don't quite understand why he insists every time to pay but you can't deny it is heart-warming. Your best friend knows it's one of the things you love the most in life so he just wants you to enjoy it entirely.

A soft smile paints your lips as you step in the cable car. Slowly elevating you in the sky, you watch the nearby buildings growing away between the big and round drops of water. The sight is blurred yet so poetic. The glass floor allows you to take a peak at the waves and if you look at the ocean side, you can see some huge cargo boats, waiting in Busan bay to deliver their merchandise.

The calm atmosphere, enhanced by the melody of the rain on the glass, soothes you. However, Jungkook couldn't just let you be and he suddenly moves to make the cable car swing. You scream and scold him which only makes him laugh. As usual.

"Let's take a picture" Jungkook says while pulling off his phone from his oversized bomber jacket pocket

Then, he sits next to you and frames to crystalize both your two faces and the skyline in the background on the photo. You and your best friend smile brightly. If someone asks Jungkook right now, he could say that it's one of sunniest days ever because of how radiant you are.

"A last one" Jungkook announces

He clicks on the button to snap the picture at the exact moment he pecks your cheek. The photo clearly notifies how surprised you were, your eyes growing wider and your mouth slightly opened. However, your shy face mixed with your blushed cheeks make you really, really cute in Jungkook's opinion. He can only chuckle as he gazes at the picture with affection eyes. He will definitely make it his new wallpaper.

However, the small peck you have received from your best friend moves you more than it should. Your heart beats so loud in your chest that it seems to echoes down to your toes. You try to calm down and you resonate: it doesn't mean anything for your best friend. It's just a small friendly peck. Fuck, you write some erotic stories in which the characters fuck like beasts, you can't be all shaken up by a stupid kiss on the cheek!

You soothe your crazy heart by focusing on the view of the grey tinted skyline and on the few people defying the rain with their umbrellas. Deep down, you know it's the best memory you will have on the Busan cable car despite the numerous times you went on.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

"What do you think about this one?" Jungkook asks you a few days later while presenting another shirt in a dark blue color

You try hard to put a smile on your face to hide your painful chest. Does your best friend have any idea that helping him choosing an outfit for his date is torture for you? You could wince at the pain if you didn't have to act like normal.

"I think the white one is better" You answer nonetheless "You can't go wrong with it"

Jungkook nods and then finishes you completely: he casually takes off his t-shirt, flashing you with his so perfect buff chest. If it's true that you sometimes gripe when your best friend spends two hours at the gym, you are so thankful of it now. You practically drool when your eyes run through his flexing biceps — the right one delicately wrapped with ink —, his well-defined pecs and his fucking hot abs. You almost faint when your glance ends up its route on his very low pants, making his V-line and the hem of his black underwear visible. His skin seems so soft, your fingertips tickle at the thought of touching it. Fuck, this is better than anything you have ever written. You gulp when you think about all the nasty things you could like to do with Jungkook's torso.

"So, what do you think?"

Jungkook's question snaps you out of your fantasies but you have absolutely no idea of what he is talking about. Suddenly, the thread escaping from your jeans is very much interesting and you just pray that Jungkook hasn't noticed how you were eying him.

"About what?" You timidly ask

"Gogi Yummy, the restaurant I'm taking her to. Do you think it's a good idea?"

Your heart squeezes painfully when you think about Jungkook having a perfect date, doing everything you could like him to do, with someone else. You wish you could be a good best friend and be happy for him but the truth is that you love him too much not to feel hurt when he is going on a date.

"I think it's great" You reply as cheerful as you can be but still not looking to him in an attempt to hide the hurt in your eyes

"What about you?" Your best friend suddenly asks

"What about me?" You repeat his words with confusion, brows furrowed

"When are you going on a date?" He clarifies

You sigh while notifying him that you don't have time to look for a date. The real reason is obviously your feelings for Jungkook, you don't want anyone else but him.

"You know Jimin, right? The last time I saw him, he told me you were cute. Maybe you should give him a chance" Jungkook tells you with an encouraging tone but you only wince, which makes him sigh "Look, if my date goes well, we'll do something together, the four of us. This way, you won't feel pressured. How does it sound?"

Awful. But there is no way you'd confess that, especially when Jungkook is looking at you with his sparkling doe eyes and his so cute bunny smile. So you tell him that it's a great idea and you hope, even more than before, that his date is a disaster so you don't have to go on a double-date during which you won't be the partner of the person you love.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

JK was drawing delicious patterns on my clit with his tongue. I couldn't help tugging on his raven hair, not really knowing if it was to stop him or to urge him to do it harder. My breathe was cut when I felt a long and thick finger sliding into me, automatically making my walls clench around it.

"I'm close"I told JK, which provoked a proud smirk on his face

His only mission on Earth seemed to be providing me great orgasms — and he'd never failed.

"Come on, baby. Make me taste your yummy juices" He teased me, sending me on the edge

He stood up and took off this t-shirt so I could admire his delicate yet strong torso, the definition of perfection. His muscles were making me feel all kinds of butterflies in my stomach — or was it the remains of the orgasm? — and JK knew it well. He knew he was teasing me, and the way he was flexing his muscles proved me right. My mouth watered and my hand caressed the bulge of his six-pack. His tattoos always had an effect on me, making him as intriguing as sexy. A sin I wouldn't care to go to Hell for.

I wished I had time to enjoy it more but I had to go to work — JK's cunnilingus made me late as it made me come.

You save the last chapter and publish it on Wattpad. You stroll through the comments and smile when you read some very supportive ones. Almost every readers are in love with JK — only of they knew that real life Jungkook is one hundred times better. You sigh in content and close your laptop, ready to head to bed but your phone rings, stopping your plans of having a good and relaxing sleep.

'My date went great. Save your Friday night buddy cause we have a date ;)'

Why does your best friend have absolutely no clue of the draggers he is stabbing into your heart? To be fair, he went on this date because he thinks he doesn't stand a chance with you but you obviously don't know that. You growl and turn in your bed, tugging your sheets around you like if you were a burrito. Yes, going on a date with Jungkook is one of your dreams but going on a double-date with Jungkook having another date than you is a nightmare. You spend the night ramming through all the possible ways the date can go, which leads you to cry when scenarios of your best friend kissing a girl in front of you play in your mind.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

You growl while taking your clothes out of the washing machine. You don't what went wrong but it seems like every single pieces of clothing has sized down. Well, you could guess what went wrong: you were deep in thought and clicked on the wrong washing program. You sigh when you see your favorite dress... A slight and ridiculous hope that maybe it's not too bad makes you try it on, which takes you way more efforts than usual. But it only confirms what you thought: the red dress is now so tight that it looks like a second skin. The bottom hem barely covers your underwear and shows some of your ass in the back. And let's not talk about the neckline because it's worse: half of your bra is on display.

Of course, fate is never on your side — because it has been such a nice day so far. You hear your front door opening and it only means one thing: Jungkook is here. He is the only one to have a spare key — which was supposed to be for emergency but turned out to be a way to visit you without warning every time he is in the mood to. You start to panic but you don't have time to cover yourself as your best friend's pretty face appears. You feel embarrassed to show so much skin to Jungkook, even though you often fantasize about him seeing way much more. Shock — and some other expression that you could interpret as lust — paints his features. His eyes run through your very exposed body and your cheeks match the color of your 'dress'.

"Are you going to wear that?" Jungkook asks with a as natural as possible tone while he places his hands in front of his crotch to prevent you from noticing his growing boner

"Are you crazy?!" You defend yourself "I fucked up my laundry, that's all. I have no other choice than to throw away my favorite dress" You sigh in despair

On the other side, Jungkook likes the new style of the dress. It's now his favorite. Fuck, you're hot. You look so naughty. And it's even better when you turn around and some of your asscheeks are visible. He wonders how they would jiggle if he'd spanked you. He knows he shouldn't have this kind of thoughts about you but he can't help it. Your body is so fucking perfect. The peak he had of your big rounded tits, covered by your bra which led appear the shadow of your picky nipple, and the almost peak he had of your panties drive him mad. He does't think you should throw the dress away. You should keep it. For him. For when he fucks you.

Jungkook tries to get rid off those thoughts but his hard-on makes it difficult. When you send him off to change, he gladly accepts and opens your fridge, pretending he is looking for some soda, to let the cold soften his cock. You'll be the death of him.

"What are you doing here?" You asks, making your best friend jolt

Jungkook grabs a random can and turns around to discover you are now wearing your usual light green sweatpants and an oversized t-shit — former his, if he might add. You are really messing with his brain because earlier, with your tiny dress, he could pretend that his attraction was just a normal one of a guy seeing a sexily clothed girl. But now, even with a not so appealing outfit, he still thinks you're beautiful and hot.

You lift one brow when your best friend doesn't answer. Jungkook clears his throat and tries to gather his thoughts. He needs to focus on something other than you, otherwise he risks to cancel all his plans to fuck you against your washing machine.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to grab some food at PadThailand. It's been a while and I know you like it"

Your heart melts at the fact that Jungkook thought about you before ordering from one of your favorite restaurants. Your smile seems to illuminate the place, so much that your best friend wishes he had sunglasses. You nod with enthusiasm, spurring Jungkook to call the restaurant and book a table.

You've changed, for the third time of the day, into a simple jeans and long sleeves sailor top. You feel proud to match the area of PadThailand, the restaurant being close to one of the small ports of Busan. Delicious scents of fresh cooked fish fill the air, putting you in the mood of eating. You could even change your usual order and try the lemongrass cod fish. You giggle with eagerness, you can't wait to have your stomach full of delicious food.

"You look like you're in a good mood" Jungkook notices, a few meters from the restaurant location

"Of course!" You reply, cheerful "I'm going to one of my favorite restaurants and I'm with my favorite person"

You don't realize how your words made Jungkook stop his track. You continue your way to the door while Jungkook is trying his best to hide his wide bunny grin.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Friday night. The day of your 'date'.

You did make an effort on your outfit, opting for a cute black denim skirt and silver top. Actually, you were quite surprise when you stepped into the restaurant and discovered that your clothes matched Jungkook's. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought that people around you would mistake you two as a couple. However, the euphoria left soon as your eyes landed on your best friend's date: a gorgeous girl named Minji. It took you everything you have to smile at her and lie while saying 'nice to meet you'.

Thankfully, the awkward silence that was getting set at your table disappears with Jimin's arrival. You can't deny that the brown haired man is handsome. Honestly, if you weren't so head over heels for Jungkook, you could kill to kiss Jimin's pulp lips. You also like the white light cotton t-shirt with longs sleeves Jimin chose to wear: the thin fabric gives a peak of his dark inked patterns. Do you have a tattoo kink? Well, it's definitely Jungkook's fault.

After ordering some drinks and food, you are starting to think that the night is not a complete torture — despite the occasional kisses between Jungkook and Minji. The girl is actually very nice and tries her best to find common tastes between the two of you. It honestly would be way easier if she were a bitch... You can't even hate her!

Jimin, on the other hand, is funny and shares a lot of stories of his last holidays which were a rollercoaster of unpleasant events. You don't have to force yourself to laugh and genuinely find his company pleasant. Yet, you can't imagine having feelings for someone other than Jungkook. You love him like you've never loved before. He swipes away every competition without even trying. He is more handsome, funnier, nicer than anyone else. He knows you more than anyone and he knows how to help you before you can even say you need him. It's like he can read in your mind, what a shame he can't see in your heart that it's full of him...

However, Jungkook begins to regret having set a date for you. Yes, he is Minji's date but it's just an attempt to stop thinking of you. Actually, he thought that if you were with Jimin, it would help him putting an end at his stupid crush. But the dragger in his heart when you smile at Jimin is a clear reminder that it's not just a silly crush... Jimin is having everything Jungkook wants to have with you. He wants to take you at the restaurant, as a date, just the two of you. He genuinely had more fun at PadThailand with you the other day — when he could pretend it was a real date, even if it was just in his head — than now with Minji. But he thinks you'll refuse if he asks you out, you have never acted like Jungkook could be something other than your best friend.

"Hey, Y/N" Minji starts with a cheerfulness that you can imagine innate in her "You said you love reading. You should follow this Wattpad account"

She hands you her phone and you stop breathing when your very username appears on the screen. Your whole body freezes and your blood is redirected in your legs to run away.

"The author is so good! Her writing is amazing" Minji continues

The compliments would please you in other circumstances but right now, it's the worst thing ever.

"And fun fact, the character of JK makes me think of you" She adds as a killer shot for you when she turns to address Jungkook

You feel so ashamed that you just keep your head down, the phone giving you a great excuse for it. You wish you could just curl up and die. Oh my god, what if Jungkook reads it? What if he knows it's about him? He will definitely know JK is supposed to be him! And he will fucking know how you dream about him fucking you in all kind of lustful fantasies! He'll think you're sick and deranged, there is no other way. He'll think you are obsessed with him and will cut all ties with you. Your throat is so tight that you can't even breath properly. You need to escape, far and fast.

You wait ten minutes not to sound suspicious and then fake an emergency, lying that you have received a text from one of your friends. Jimin, so kind by nature, offers you to drop you off but you refuse, even though you do appreciate the gesture. You basically run away and yell a taxi to head home as fast as possible.

Panic takes control of your body, making you shake and breath heavily. You walk back and forth in your bedroom as you wonder how you are going to get rid off this troubled situation. You definitely can't delete your Wattpad account now, it'd look way too suspicious. The only thing that soothe you is that Jungkook doesn't like reading so he won't look at your — erotic — stories. Right?

Why did you have to write those? You are so stupid, fantasizing on your best friend and making the whole world know! You should have kept your sexual dreams in your bed, rather than crystalizing them on white pages.

Your hands cover your burning cheeks before going to the bathroom and splashing some cold water on your face as a ridiculous attempt to wake up from this nightmare.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Two weeks have passed since the double-date. Jungkook and you have hanged out like nothing happened — actually for Jungkook nothing happened. However, even though you really wanted to hide from him out of embarrassment, you couldn't without presenting yourself as the culprit of these stories. Your best friend was his usual self and he didn't even talk about your Wattpad account, which slowly relieved you. Like you said, Jungkook doesn't like reading, he won't do it so you can live your life without thinking about it anymore. You did stop writing though and you felt sad when you've read comments of people missing you and waiting for the next chapter.

What you don't know is that Minji has insisted so much, arguing that the main male lead of your story was just like Jungkook, that your best friend took on himself to browse through your Wattpad account. And he read everything. At first, he was quite amused at the resemblance: more than the JK name, the fictional character has black hair and tattoos just like him. The sex scenes were intense but still a little too soft for Jungkook who likes it real rough — but it's not like you can know it. But then, Jungkook grew suspicious, some scenes being very familiar to him. Like the one of the two main characters going to the beach but can't to swim because they forgot their swimsuits. Or the one when they were cooking together and JK seasoned the meal the narrator took hours to cook with sugar instead of salt. Another example was an argument between the two characters over the film they should watch at the theatre. Jungkook clearly remembered a very similar scene with you that ended up just like the book: him buying his own ticket for Fast&Furious and you throwing your popcorn on him.

A — absolutely ridiculous and impossible — thought came to his mind: were you the author? That couldn't be. You were his best friend, and you've never seemed to be interested in him — despite his endeavours he might add. But then, how could the scenes in this book be so much like the ones you two'd shared? And then, a crazier thought lighted up in his brain: are all the sex scenes you have written one of your desires? Would you like him to fuck you, to finger you, to lick you? Thinking about your pretty face torn by pleasure made him hard in his pants. He went though the hot scenes for a second time, trying to acknowledge what you like. As insane as it might seem, if Jungkook has the chance to, he'll fuck you and he wants to be prepared. Well, that's if you are indeed the author of the book. Which is such a foolish idea that he can't allow himself to grow too excited because the odds are not in Jungkook's favors.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

You are heading to Jungkook's place after receiving a text from him. He asked you if you wanted to watch a movie and you accepted. However, when you enter his apartment — you also have a spare key of your best friend's door —, the usual bowl of popcorn is no where to be seen. Jungkook has a ravishing look with his grey sweatpants and black oversized t-shirt. It's just his common look but it's so good on him.

"Hi" You greet him with a hug "You don't have any popcorn?"

"No, but maybe I have some underbaked cookies that we could eat with ice cream" He replies

You just freeze. Those underbaked cookies with ice cream are something you've written in your story. Did Jungkook read it? It's a catastrophe. You have to act like it's nothing, like you don't know what he means but god, you're such a shitty actress and your best friend knows you better than anyone else.

"Why would I want underbaked cookies?" You ask but your tone is so unsure that it only betrays you

"I don't know" Jungkook starts "Maybe because I'll get to eat you out to be fully satisfied"

Oh god. He. Did. Read. Everything. You wish the ground opened underneath your feet to swallow you whole. You throat is too dry to reply anything and your burning cheeks are screaming 'I'm the author! I'm guilty your Honor!'. You want to run away but you can't, your body refuses to move and you just keep looking down. You are so ashamed that your eyes get watery. Jungkook must hate you to have sexualized him like you did. Worse, you published this sexualized version of your best friend on the Internet and thousand of people have read it.

"Why did you write those stories?" Jungkook asks you

His tone is not harsh but not sweet either. It's just a little softer than neutral and it hurts in your heart.

"I don't know" You whisper with a shaky voice

"Don't lie to me, Y/N" Jungkook cups your face with his hands to force you to look into his so beautiful doe eyes "Tell me, I'm just trying to understand"

You are destabilized not to see any anger or disgust on your best friend's face. You thought he could be furious but he is not. He really seems curious to know. But that would mean you'd have to confess your feelings and you're not ready to hurt.

"It's just things that came to my mind" You half-lie

"So it doesn't mean anything?"

Your mouth opens in surprise at your best friend's question. Or more precisely at his tone. It's like he is hoping for it to mean something. You're taken aback. It's really not the reaction you expected. You remove his hand from your face so you can try to think again. You're lost in all the overwhelming emotions you're experiencing.

"I-" You start but nothing follows

You don't know what to say. Especially when Jungkook is looking at you with such an intense yet loving eye. Like he wants you. All of you. Your mind, your heart and your body. And you'll be happy to give them to him actually.

"Do you love me, Y/N?"

Once again, your eyes widen. You shouldn't be this surprised, it is just a logical question to ask after your interaction. You want to tell him but you're scared. Jungkook is perfect. He is the most handsome man but it's nothing compared to his personality. He is sweet and caring. He is hard-working and never gives up. He is supportive and always willing to help his friends. He is so perfect. Too perfect for you. You have nothing to offer him, he could find someone better just by snapping his fingers. But your best friend stops all those negative and destroying thoughts when he speaks again.

"You don't have to tell me" Jungkook says with a deep voice you've never heard before "I won't either. But I will show you"

With those last, enigmatic words, he cups your face with his tattooed hand. A immediate feeling of warmth rises upon the area he is touching. His thumb caresses your cheek, so delicately that you could think Jungkook is afraid to break you, but it soon drifts away to land on your bottom lip. The thinner and pinkish skin is soft underneath the pad of his finger and he can't wait any longer: he needs to feel the softness with his own mouth.

He kisses you and god, what a perfect kiss. The best one ever. His pulp lips feel like silk. The pressure is the right one: deep enough to draw butterflies in your stomach but not too much to completely overpower you. Jungkook wants to give you the opportunity to stop the kiss if you want to. But you surely don't want to. Quite the opposite: you want more.

Your hands go up to hide in his black hair to keep him close. It's the sign Jungkook waited to deepen the kiss. His hands are now on your back, pressing you closer against his strong body. Everything is just right. You seem to know each other's body like your own. Jungkook said he was going to show you he loved you and he does. The kiss is passionate but so loving at the same time. You have the feeling to fall in love with him all over again.

Without breaking the kiss, he leads you to his bedroom, which is easy since you know well his apartment. Jungkook takes off your shirt and he looks at your breasts long enough for you to grow embarrassed. But then he whispers to himself 'so perfect' and you don't feel unsure anymore. The way Jungkook looks at you makes you feel like the most beautiful woman alive. To be fair, you are for him.

Jungkook cups your tits still covered by your bra and leans down to hide his face in the valley of your boobs. God, he loves them so much. You moan when he starts to kiss the available skin. But it's not enough, for any of you. Your hand sneaks behind your back to undo your bra and finally free your breasts. Jungkook doesn't waste time and grabs one boob before squeezing it in his large and warm palm. His mouth works on your other nipple, licking, sucking and even deliciously biting it.

He invites you to lean on his bed and you're happy to do it. Jungkook grabs the hem of your pants and slides them down with your panties. Your pussy is already glistening with arousal and it's driving him crazy. He can't even control himself when he step closer to eat you out. His tongue is fast and precise on your clit and you can't help the moans from escaping your lips. Your head is thrown back and your fists are clenched around the sheets. Your cunt is soaked by your horniness and Jungkook's saliva, creating a real mess between your legs.

"More" You groan

Jungkook smirks while he enters your tight pussy with two fingers. The stretch is so fucking good that you whimper. His pace doesn't show any mercy but you fucking love it. Maybe it's Jungkook's skills or maybe it's your strong feelings for him but your orgasm is close. Your legs start shaking and you rest them on your best friend's shoulders.

"Your pussy is so good" He says against your wet clit "You've dreamt about that, uh? You little minx"

Your head is spinning because of your horniness. You feel like drowning into pleasure and Jungkook's expert fingers hitting your g-sport repeatedly are pushing you over the edge. Your back arches and your toes curl while you're trying to control your orgasm. It's too good, you don't want Jungkook to stop just now. But then, he talks again:

"I've read how you wanted me to eat your pretty pussy. You're a little slut for me, isn't that right?"

His dirty mouth — both words and acts — makes you cum on his face and fingers. Jungkook's digits are squeezed tightly by your walls and he pushes your limits by pushing on your sweet spot harder. It cuts your breathe and you feel your orgasm lasting and lasting until you can't take the overstimulation anymore. Your legs try to close but they are stopped by Jungkook's head and your hands tug on his hair.

"I'll fuck you good"

Jungkook's promise lights up your body once again. You settle down from your high just in time to watch his strip show. His pecs and abs are so perfect. You wish you could lick them but your body is still in the fog of your orgasm so you just can lift your hand to caress him like you've dreamt of so many time. His skin is warm and soft but his muscles are hard right under. Jungkook closes his eyes to enjoy your touch. He's imagined it many times before you and your delicate fingers on him are delightful. His hard cock twitches in his pants when your hand reaches the hem of his sweatpants. The bulge is clearly visible and your mouth waters.

You push the pieces of fabric down to free is big cock. Oh god, it's bigger than you thought. Some pre-cum is leaking from his tip and you use it to jerk him off. Jungkook growls out of delight and your hand works fast on his length. The sight of your small hand around his cock is fucking hot but Jungkook wants to fuck you. You two will have a lot of time in the future to experience other things.

"I want to fuck you" Jungkook says but it's also a consent question

As much as he wants to, he won't if you tell him no.

"I want it too, Kook"

Your best friend walks to his nightstand after getting off of his pants and underwear. He grabs a condom that he quickly puts on and joins you on the bed. You're gorgeous, all naked, in his bed. Lust is written on your face and he still can't believe you're looking at him. He wants to worship you and he will, but right now, he will fuck you like there is no tomorrow.

You open your legs wider for Jungkook to take place between them. He grabs his hard cock and slides the tip up and down on your folds. Your back arches.

"Please, Kook, I want you" Your whipped voice is driving him crazy

He enters slowly, not wishing to hurt you. The way his dick is stretching you out is insane. Jungkook is big but it's fucking good. He fills you so well. When he sees you relaxing, he starts to move back and forth. Your soaked pussy helps him to enter you without any difficulty. His hands cup your face to kiss you. Your moans are swallowed by Jungkook's mouth and your hands grabs his wrists when he pounds you at a faster pace. Soon, your tits are bouncing with rhythm and your groans get louder.

The grab on your jaws tightens and Jungkook rests his forehead on yours. He fucks you passionately. You wrap your legs around his waist to deepen the poundings. The slight change of angle places his dick directly to your g-spot.

"Here!" You scream and clench around him

"Your pussy is so tight but you still want to be fucked rough" Jungkook smirks "You told everyone but me. I'm so disappointed, baby"

His dick strokes are harsher and deeper, kicking the air of your lungs every time. The sound your clapping skins create is loud and sinful. You're close again and Jungkook can feel it.

"You're sure you don't want to tell me that you love me?" He asks with heavy breathe "Because I'll fuck you better if you do"

It's enough for you. Your walls are squeezing him impossibly tight. Jungkook almost winces but the fucked expression on your face is so worth it.

"I love you, Kook!" You scream when you cum hard on his cock, your vison blurred by the tears of pleasure and love filing your eyes

The euphoric state provoked by your orgasm and your feelings make you loose your mind. You kiss him but a salty taste mixes in your kiss. When Jungkook wipes the corners of your eyes, you realize you're crying. You don't even know why.

"I love you too" Jungkook whispers

A few more hard poundings are provided and Jungkook cums in the condom. You're both panting and Jungkook is almost crushing you but you don't care. His face is hidden in the crook of your neck, kissing your skin tenderly. You hug him tightly when you finally realize that your best friend loves you too.

Your cry shakes your body and Jungkook lifts up his head and his heart squeezes when he sees you.

"Hey, don't cry, baby"

He kisses every single inch of your face: your lips, your cheeks, your nose, your forehead and even your eyes to make your tears disappear.

Jungkook pulls out of you and takes off his condom. He quickly comes back to hug you tight. You truly appreciate how gentle he is. He has always been but now, with the love in his eyes, it's even better. Your whole body feels full of love. You know it's the right moment to share all the things you've kept to yourself for years.

"My head and my heart are full of you" You say "I'm drowning in the ocean of the love I feel for you. I love so much that it hurts, Kook"

"Your words feel so good" Jungkook replies with watery eyes, gently patting your hair "I can't describe as good as you my feelings but one thing I can say is that I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I'll never be tired of telling you or showing you how much I do"

You cry like a baby, undoubtedly the result of your post-sex tiredness and the tsunami of emotions Jungkook's confession provokes. It's the first time tears provoked by your best friend are welcomed.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

"So, what's next?" Jungkook asks the next day during breakfast

Just as the last time you've spent the night at his place, he woke up with a morning wood. Except that, this time, you made love. It was different from yesterday but as good. Maybe even better because you weren't in the over-everything that your love confessions provoked. You took your time, you kissed and kissed again while caressing and feeling each other.

"Maybe I'll need some inspiration for the next date scenes" You tease him

Jungkook giggles while scrunching his cute nose. He knows you so well and yet, this part of you, your writer part, was completely unknown until a few days ago. He also knows that your book is just an excuse to take you on a date. Honestly, he doesn't have to make any excuse to ask you on a date. He wants to do it. He has been wanting for years and now, you're his girlfriend.

"You're sure you don't need inspiration for your sex scenes?" He asks playfully

You smile and scoot closer to wrap your arms around his neck.

"I could use some help" You whisper before kissing him 

[hyperblue]

‘Baby you need to get some sleep.’ not kon spoke from just over his shoulder, his hallucination was eerily detailed. Right down to the stitching on kons leather jacket, the dimples in his cheeks, the texture of his hair, the way he cared deeply and endlessly. ‘You wont be any good to anyone if you carry on like this, wont be any good to him.’ Tim hummed in acknowledgment.

‘I’ll sleep in a minute, i just wanna watch him for a while.’ He’ll sleep when he’s viable. Tim was currently sat on the floor in front of a large glass tube full of slightly luminous green liquid. Suspended in the middle of the tube was a foetus, soon it would be a baby. Their baby. He just needed to watch it a while longer, just until it was old enough to be viable outside of its growth medium. His son, his half kon half him miracle. ‘What should we call him do you think.’ he turned but not kon had moved, his hallucinations always hovered on the edge of his vision just out of proper sight. Just out of reach. a reminder they were unattainable, a dream.

‘Baby I don’t think anything, I’m not real remember.’ He sighed deep and long.

‘I know, i know you aren’t real just make something up. Tell me what i think he would’ve wanted. Let me pretend we’re doing this together.’ Not kon was stood on the other side of the tube now, image warped by the growth medium. He put his hand on the glass right over their son. ‘Just tell me anything, anything at all.’ He was suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of deep sadness, of bitter cold loneliness. All he wanted in this moment was for real kon to tell him what to do, to guide him out of this mess. Not kon would have to do.

‘Well, i like the older all American names. Even though you always found them silly.’ He closed his eyes and huffed out the smallest laugh, this was unfortunately very true. ‘If it was a girl it’d be easy, Wendy Wayne! Wendy Wayne-Kent?’ The laugh was more real this time because not kon (his brain?) was correct. Their daughter would’ve been named for Wendy the werewolf stalker and he would’ve let it happen. Not their son though. He sat quietly for a few minutes just thinking.

‘How about Ward? Old school, American, has some meaning too it, not horrifically long or embarrassing, suits all life stages.’ He tried to look up at not kon but he was back behind him in his peripheral vision. Shame. Not kon nodded.

‘Yeah i think I would’ve liked that, or you think I would’ve liked that whatever. Maybe Edward, ward for short.’ Tim nodded, a sensible name. Something he could grow up with. A small gift he could give to his son.

‘Edward Jonathan Kent-Wayne. Big name for such a little thing.’ He put his hand on the cool glass and stroked over where his baby was growing stronger by the minute. ‘Big name big shoes big legacy.’ He felt a phantom touch on his shoulder, there and gone in a second, his brain filling in a gap. But it was enough. Enough to feel like kon was with him. He hoped not kon didn’t know what he planned to do after their son was born, hoped he could be ignorant where tim couldn’t be.

Ward slept peacefully in his car seat where its set on top of a metal table a ways behind him, not kon is hovering over him humming something soothing and quiet. Tim sits down with a couple pieces of printer paper and sets about writing his son a letter. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone for, how long he’ll leave ward with Bruce so he fills the letter with information about himself, information about kon, information about how ward was created. Stories about his daddies he wants his son to know, not battle stories not tales of superheroic glory but dumb inconsequential little memories. Tiny shining pieces of the complexity that was Conner Kent, about how they met, how they fell in love, the short months they got together. He fills ten pieces of paper front and back with memories and love and whatever tiny pieces of wisdom he has to pass on. He signs it off like this.

‘My ward, my miracle, i hope you have never once doubted my love for you. I hope you know the only reason i left you with your grandfather is because I’m very sick right now and wouldn’t be able to keep you safe and happy like he undoubtedly has. I wouldn’t have been able to surround you with family or give you the stability you needed to thrive. One day when I’m better I’ll come back and hopefully you’ll want to know me, but if you don’t i’ll respect your wishes. You are the most perfect, beautiful and impactful thing I’ve ever created. You are my heart outside my body. In my minds eye you are the spitting image of your daddy and whatever you do you’ll be a credit to his legacy, i know this as well as i know anything. Know that i love you now, and i still love you whenever you read this again.

Your father,

Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne’

He slips the papers into a Manila envelope seals it and addresses it to ward, he writes another much shorter letter which is sealed in a regular envelope addressed to his dad.

‘Bruce,

Im sorry for the stress this surprise and my disappearance will cause you, but i am not sorry for either the surprise or my disappearance. His name is Edward Jonathan Kent-Wayne and he is my son, look after him while I’m gone. Im not fit to look after myself right now let alone a baby so i entrust him to you - you kept us all mostly alive and none of us where invulnerable quarter kryptonians. By the time you read this ill be long gone and I’m not coming back until I’m better however long that takes, if he gets old enough to start asking questions give him or read him the letter I left addressed to him.

I know I’m asking a lot but there is no one else i could or would trust with him, he is and i suspect will always be my greatest triumph. Love him, embrace being a grandfather, get Alfred to help you adjust. I hope i will be back soon, i doubt i will be.

Your son,

Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne’

He slips the Manila envelope, Bruce’s letter, and the birth certificate listing both him and Connor into a bag with some clothes and supplies for ward. It is legitimate if of illegal creation - not that anyone will be able to tell.

Tomorrow he will drop ward off with a very discreet nanny who has been paid through the nose to keep him for three days and then drop him off at wayne manor. Tim has $17,000 last minute round trip first class flights leaving from Newark landing in Bordeaux that he only intends to use one way under the name Manon Alarie, hes got one of his mothers Chanel skirt suits from the 80s - its a black white and grey tartan material with shoulder pads, hes got a cashmere sweater shirt, black stockings, a circle brimmed sort of shallow trilby hat thing to obscure his face, a skinny black leather belt and gloves, a pair of punishing black so Kate’s and enough gold and diamond jewellery that he hopes he can pull off ‘wealthy teenager dressing up in mummies clothes from the 80s to seem older’ well enough that no one will question anything. After he lands in France he will shed manon and adopt someone else. He speaks french well enough maybe he’ll stay there maybe he’ll go somewhere else. He has near unlimited resources from his destruction of the league and all the time in the world.

He wont stay in Bordeaux for long though, he has faith in Bruce’s detective skills to be able to track him to there. But France is large and he is adept at disappearing into the crowd. Oracle will know where he is but he trusts babs to know what he needs to do.

Kal arrives in less than an hour. He’s dressed in a suit and tie and his glasses are askew on his face, he stares at the baby and at the dna readout back and forth again and again for ten minutes. Finally he breaths out a long shuddering breath and slumps into one of the batcomputers desk chairs. ‘Well shit Bruce.’ His sentiments exactly. ‘And he’s definitely kryptonian? for sure kryptonian?’ He’s staring at the dna test again.

‘His overall dna structure is an incredibly close match to kon-el’s and about a 45% match with your’s and other full kryptonians. The stuff that went in is 50/50 from both the parents but the structure is more kryptonian than you would expect. In layman’s terms he got more of kons kryptonian stuff than his human stuff.’ Kal scrubs his hands over his face and sighs.

‘How did no one know about this until the baby showed up, and where the hell is Tim? And what’s the babies name? And how am i supposed to tell my mother.’ The last few words were hissed out as if ma Kent was going to teleport behind them and start berating them for hiding a grand/great grand baby from her affectionate clutches.

‘I currently have little information about the nature of his creation or the wearabouts of my son, you were the first call after i ran his blood work. Had to make sure he was actually Tim’s baby and not just, you know, a random baby.’ Kal nods. ‘Tim left some documents with him, there’s a letter for me and for the baby and a birth certificate thats either real or a very impressive forgery. He’s called Edward Jonathan Kent-Wayne but we’re to call him Ward apparently.’ Kal smiled at that.

‘Pa might actually cry when he finds out, i might’ve taken a while to step up with kon but they loved him as soon as they found out about him. They’ve been doing worse than they’re willing to let on to me i think, a great grandbaby is about the best news they’ll have heard all year.’ He reaches out and strokes the sleeping boys downy cheek ‘god hes gonna need a kryptonian name isnt he.’ Bruce nods and clears his throat.

‘Kons not around and it only feels right that a kryptonian does the honours, what do you say grandpa Clark.’ Clark groans and punches his leg a little too hard.

‘Do not call me that grandpa Bruce, yeah see how it feels.’ It feels not good. He feels older than he ever has looking down at this baby, his son’s baby, his grandson. His latest blue eyed black haired boy. Kal thinks for a minute before smiling all teeth. ‘I didn’t do right by your daddy when i named him, but I’m gonna do right by you.’ He puts a single finger into wards hand and shakes it up and down a couple times. ‘Welcome to the house of El Kyn-El. Son of Kon-El son of Kal-El son of Jor-El.’ He turns to Bruce and translates. ‘Kyn has the K like me and Kon and it means gift, Kyn and El he’s a gift from the stars.’ It’s a good name, a beautiful name. He hopes Tim would be ok with Kal giving it to him. He needs to go lie down in a dark room with his grandson.

‘Ok Clark take a picture and tell your mother she can have as many as she wants if shes on call for any baby kryptonian emergencies.’ Clark laughs but does as hes told. Before he leaves though he turns to Bruce one last time.

‘You sure you’ve got this, i could take him or ma and pa could probably if its too much. It wont be easy if hes got powers like kons.’ Bruce nods, solemn and grave - all batman.

‘I need to do this Kal, Tim is. He’s the smartest of us besides Barbara, we wont find him until he wants to be found. Oracle could but she’ll respect his need for distance and wont tell us where he is unless he’s trying to get himself killed. I need to do this for him, for my son, i need him to know his trust in me was not misplaced.’ Clark claps him on the shoulder, gives him a sad little smile, and is gone before he can blink. Ward is an eerily quiet baby, he probably gets that from tim, and he thinks some lying down in the dark time would be fun and beneficial for them both.

Three scenes from a clone baby fic I’ll probably never finish, idk i just wanted to share the burst of inspiration your clone posting gave me x

okay but what if you actually finish it?? pretty please??? 👉👈

the writing is so good, we LOVE tim hallucinating kon, i also love the way you've gone with this, especially tim leaving for the sake of his child (i'm sure nothing would go wrong! there's absolutely no way this decision would backfire later!); i know a lot of clone baby au enjoyers are "tim would NEVER leave his child" truthers but honestly i can definitely see him not breaking the cycle of leaving since, you know. leaving was all he's ever known for his own parents

thank you so much for sharing this, hope you'll find time to finish this fic bc we need ALL the clone baby fics we can get

[newwritergirl]

Starting over | Part 18

Masterlist

Summary: It's nearly two weeks now since Bradley and Jake had to go on the aircraft carrier. It's time that they come back to their beloved girlfriend, isn't it? But before y/n can breathe easily Welsh is throwing stones into her way, while fulfilling his plan to make her his. But finally there's a witness of what Welsh is capable of. Will y/n finally opens up to someone from the base?

Trigger warnings: 18+! Minors DNI!, past abusive relationship, previous abuse, panic attack, manipulative man, dangerous man

A/N: It's going to escalate real fast, isn't it? We need Bradley and Jake back, hopefully they will end their deployment soon <3 Thanks for the support, feel free to reblog my silly little story if you like it.

Word Count: 2.6k +

There is only one thought that keeps swirling in her brain: RUN. Run as fast as possible, away from that evil man. The man that seems to know details of her past. That man that plays with the knowledge of her past. Y/n doesn't recognize where she's running, not until she's standing in front of the women's restroom of the office building of the Navy base. She prays that the toilet isn't occupied when she tries to open the door with her shaking hands. A sigh of relief leaves her aching lungs when she opens the door, just a small gap to slip inside the spacious room, and locks the door while sliding down on the floor.

She feels the panic in her chest squeezing her lungs like someone is sitting on her ribcage. While digging her fingers painfully into her thighs, creating small moon shaped marks on her pantyhose clad legs, she tries to take some proper breaths despite the feeling of huge pressure in her chest. When she notices that breathing is getting more difficult every second the young woman starts a fight with the pocket of her tight pencil skirt. Her mobile, it has to be there somewhere. She took it with her when she went outside to enjoy her coffee in the morning sun. The coffee Bob brought her earlier. The same coffee which is now spilled somewhere on the concrete on the base. Bob, she needs to call Bob. He will help her.

Her breathing becomes more ragged but when she finally reaches her mobile it feels like a silver lining. Y/n's hands are shaking so badly that she isn't sure if she's able to unlock her mobile let alone make a proper call. She feels her vision starting to blur and white spots are currently dancing in front of her. Bobby. She can make out his name on the display of the shaking phone in her hands. When she hears the dial tone she knows that there's only one condition which separates her from getting help: they're already in the air, training the recruits.

"Hey y/n, can I come to your office later? Where about to go back into class, the crabs are already waiting." She hears Bob chuckle. The Daggers often call the recruits 'crabs', only God knows why.

"Bo - Bobby…" Y/n tries to speak, but it's just a painful attempt to breathe when she tries to say Robert's name.

"Y/n? What's wrong?" The aviator instantly notices that something must be wrong with his female friend. He makes out his name but other than that he only hears the woman wheezing on the other end of the phone.

"Y/n, sunshine. Calm down, where are you? Are you hurt?" Bob tries not to panic but he's worried for the young IT-specialist. Something must've happened to her otherwise she wouldn't have called him on his mobile at work, let alone her ragged breathing he can hear over the phone.

"H- help… breathe… can't." Y/n chokes on her words, she's afraid. Afraid that she passes out before Bob can find her, afraid that Welsh finds her in this state. Afraid of the demons of her past, lingering in the back of her mind.

"Fuck… ok. Where are you? I'm coming, but where are you?" Robert is already on his way to her office, he needs to find her and she has to be in her office, after all it's still early in the morning and under normal circumstances she would sit at her desk and do whatever magic she can on her computer. The young aviator can't remember if he has ever sprinted along the corridors of the office building that fast before. On his way over to y/n's office with his mobile still pressed to his ear he nearly knocks down Maverick but he doesn't even notice Pete sidestepping to make room for the running pilot.

"R-restrooms…" Y/n nearly gags out her location.

It feels like a lifetime until she hears a loud knocking on the door of the women's restrooms. Her mobile is long gone, laying discarded on the cold tiles. The knocking gets more persistent but in her panicked state y/n doesn't remember that this has to be Bob. Whimpering she presses both hands on her ears.

"Y/n? Can you open the door?" Floyd tries once more time to get an answer out of the woman in the room before him.

"Floyd. Where's the fire?" Bob feels a strong hand on his shoulder. Startled by the sudden touch he turns around just to look directly at his Captain.

"Cap, it's y/n. Something is wrong, she called me all panicked." Bob explains as short as possible not waiting a second for Mav's reply and turns himself one more time in the direction of the still closed door.

"Y/n. It's Bobby, I'm opening the door, okay? Stay away from the door." Robert warns the woman on the other side before he gets himself ready to break the door. But the same touch as seconds ago stops him in his actions.

"We can't break the door. Here let me…" And with that Maverick takes a step closer to the door and fumbles with the lock. Mere seconds later the door opens with a click. "Amelia used to lock herself when she was small…" Pete gives a nearly inaudible explanation, but Bob doesn't lose any more time and rushes inside the spacious cubicle. The sight of the woman in the corner of the room nearly breaks his heart. He immediately lowers himself to the floor keeping his voice as calm as possible.

"Sunshine, hey look at me. It's Bobby. You're safe…" He talks to y/n who is curled into herself, knees pressed into her chest, her head on her knees with her shaking hands over her head as if she wants to protect herself. The second thing he notices is the young woman's ragged breathing which is way too fast to get enough oxygen into her body. She's hyperventilating. With cautious movements he nears her shoulders with his warm hands, softly touching her shaking frame.

"Sunshine, please look at me."

Bob, she can hear Bob's voice. How can he always be so calm, especially now when there seems to be not enough air in the room to breathe properly. She slowly looks up, despite her blurry vision and the spots dancing in her sight she can make out the familiar friendly face of her friend.

"Yes that's it. Can I come closer to you?" The young man asks before he starts an attempt to invade y/n's personal space further. He notices her clenched fists and her struggling to breathe properly.

"H- he- help…" Y/n manages to gasp, in hope that Bob would understand her. He crawls another step closer to the huddled form of the young woman in front of him and grabs her smaller clammy hands in his warm ones. His thumb strokes over the knuckles of her hands. When she's more aware of her surroundings she holds Robert's hands like a lifeline. She trusts him, now more than ever with both her boyfriends gone.

"You're safe y/n. I got you. Feel my heart and my breathing." He takes the chance and lays one of her hands on his chest. The risk is big that this physical contact is too much for her but he needs to take that risk. Fortunately she nods her head and clearly tries her best to follow Bob's breathing. She feels her heart beating violently in her chest almost painfully hitting the insides of her ribcage like her heart wants to break out of its cage. But now her focus is on the calm and steady beating of the pilot’s heart kneeling in front of her. Bob also notices her being a bit calmer than at the beginning when he stepped into the room. Her breathing starts to sound more controlled and her clenched fists are not as tight anymore. After some more minutes of Robert whispering calming words she feels her breathing slowly being normal again. When the exhaustion sets in she tries to hold her body up in the sitting position but she feels like a huge weight is pulling her under. Bob feels her struggling to support her own body and sits himself beside her and let the young woman sagging against him, shivering like she just stepped out of a freezer.

"You're doing good, sunshine. I got you."

---

Maverick was as shocked as Bob as the door to restroom opened and their gaze landed on the young IT-specialist cowering in the corner of the room. Not to overwhelm y/n he restrained himself and didn't intervene the scene which unfolds before him.

Now, with the woman calm and breathing sufficiently he takes a step into the room speaking up to make himself noticeable, hoping he wouldn't scare her off.

"Bob? Let's bring her into my office. My couch is more comfortable than the cold tiles here." Robert just nods in the direction of his Captain but thinking about how they would get the clearly exhausted girl into the Captain's office down the hall.

"Y/n? Mav is here, you wanna lay down in his office?" He whispers, propping up the young woman's body to get her attention. Y/n just gives a small nod of confirmation.

---

The way to Maverick's office was a blur for y/n, too exhausted from the previous panic attack. So she now finds herself slowly waking up, huddled under a thin blanket, laying on the couch in the Captain's office. When she gets her bearings back she can make out Bob sitting in one of the visitor chairs at Mav's desk, quietly talking to the Captain who seems to be sporting a headache with the way he pinches the bridge of his nose.

Bob is the first to notice y/n waking up. He hurries over to her, crouching in front of the couch.

"Hey y/n. There you are." He smiles softly at his friend. "You had a panic attack, you called me…" Bob helps her sitting up on the couch and takes a seat beside her to give her somewhat the feeling of support.

"I- I'm so sorry… Captain Mitchell. I- I'm…" She is at a loss for words, too embarrassed by the whole ordeal but in the back of her mind the situation that led to the panic attack is coming back to her too fast for her liking. Welsh talking about her ex, him knowing his name. What else does this man know? What details does he have? And why does he know all of this?

Pete stands up from his position at his desk and makes his way over to Bob and y/n. He takes an uncomfortable seat on the wooden coffee table in front of the couch not too close to the female but near enough to get a close look at the frightened woman.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, y/n. And please, I'm Pete for you, or Mav." He says in a light voice winking at her.

It's Bob's turn to talk to his friend. "Y/n, do you remember what happened?" He tests the water cautiously, aware that he probably wouldn't get an answer from his shy friend.

Y/n knows she needs help, Jake and Bradley are still gone with no information when they will be back in town. And so she starts to tell both men how she received anonymous messages on her mobile, how Welsh harassed her at the Hard Deck and the reason for her panic attack today.

Pete and Robert are at a loss for words when she finally finishes her explanations. Both men have to restrain themselves not to show her the pure rage they're feeling now.

Bob squeezes one of her hands to get her attention. She looks up from her lap and a tear is making its way down her cheek.

"I don't want to be an inconvenience at base. I'm too sensitive and …" But Maverick doesn't let her finish her sentence.

"Y/n, you're not an inconvenience. And the only person who is at fault here is Daniel Welsh. We don't know if he is also responsible for the messages you received but he harassed you in person. On our base there is no place for harassment and abuse. I need to talk to the Admiral. Unfortunately he is on a security conference the next two days. But until then I -" Mav looks at Bob "WE will make sure, that Welsh is not able to come near you again. And with the Admiral we can kick him off base immediately."

---

"You're coming with me today, no back talk!" Bob says in a stern but friendly voice. Mav made sure to dismiss his aviator early today to make sure y/n is safe and sound and doesn't have to go back home alone.

Y/n let out a small chuckle when she sees Bob pushes up his glasses. "You're just as bossy as Jake, he's bad influence for you, Bobby." She says as they make their way to Bob's car in the parking lot of the base.

"I don't want to intrude. I can just drive home and you can call me later?" She suggests. The fear of being annoying is too big to just accept the offer of her friend to stay the night at his house in his spare bedroom.

"Oh no, I don't do this for you. I AM bored out of my mind AND I really want a decent home cooked meal and Hangman and Rooster don't seem to shut up about your cooking skills so I hope you can teach me something later. What do you think?"

Y/n lets out a loud laugh, from a panic attack and the feeling of suffocation, to feel light and calm in the presence of a friend in just some hours. She really needs to pay Bob back great time.

He opens his car door and she slips into his truck, shaking her head in amusement.

Bob on the other hand scanned their environment on the way to the parking lot and his car. He knows that Welsh will have an unpleasant talk with Maverick but he wants to be sure this guy isn't lurking around the corner and lets y/n spiral into another panic or anxiety attack just by showing his dirty evil face.

---

"Lieutenant Welsh, my office!" Mav barks in the hangar when he makes out the figure of the man he wants to kill slowly and painfully. He knows he has to play this smart. He has to wait for the Admiral to be back but he needs to act now to keep y/n safe. He is going to make Welsh's life as uncomfortable as possible until he can kick him off base and out of the Navy.

---

This fucking bitch. This fucking stupid bitch. The Captain had his ass when he called him into his office. He's not allowed to sit in on the teaching lessons of the Lieutenant Commanders, neither fly with the recruits when they have training in the air. He even isn't allowed to help the mechanics with the jets. He has to evaluate flight data of the last five years? Does he look like some stupid secretary? And he got an earful how he should treat colleagues at the base. This little cunt ran straight to the Captain and cried crocodile tears how the bad Lieutenant Welsh treated her. This has to be the reason for the Captain's tantrum. You will be sorry for that y/n y/ln.

@djs8891

@darksparklesficrecs

@nerdgirljen

@abaker74

@crazyunsexycool

@itsarabellebabes

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

I keep picturing this:

(Not yet bf!)John going short of ballistic with genuine worry when you refuse to hold hands.

CoD ML

Okay, obviously this needs context.

So, John tags along with you to the V&A. Now, being a proper gentleman, he first takes you out for coffee and a bite before you slowly make your way to the museum in South Kensington. After all, it’s one of those rare sunny and warm London spring days and you could do with some Vitamin D.

No, not Vitamin Daddy. What was that?

ANYWAY! As soon as you enter, you fall into the habit of wandering about without any regard whatsoever for your companion. It’s not a conscious decision, of course, but sometimes you need to turn your brain off and enjoy art while protected by your personal bubble.

When you’re in the Cast Courts, you feel a hand on your shoulder. It takes every ounce of self-control not to let the scream tickling the back of your throat escape, which would definitely break the amiable peacefulness of the museum.

“There you are! Do you have any bloody idea how worried I was?” John’s lightly panting, eyes wide and pupils dilated with a frenzy that leaves you wondering about the cause of it. “I let you out of my sight for one second and you have me run around the entire museum looking for you.”

“Well, you kinda invited yourself,” you mumble under your breath, masking the way you flinch with a step back.

“Pardon?”

“N-Nothing.”

“Nah, Y/N.” His fingers dig painfully into your cheeks as he grabs your face and forces you to look at him. “You’re a big girl so use your words. Go on. You know how.”

“Y- You wanted to come with. Invited yourself.”

“I guess that’ll have to do for a proper sentence.” He lets go and extends a bear-like hand. “Before you wander off again with that silly little head of yours.”

“No.”

“Hand. Now.”

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking,” John growls, forcefully entwining his fingers with yours. The grip on them is firm, iron-like. Fully aware you won’t be able to escape.

You slowly walk about the space like that for a few moments. Eventually, you find the courage to defy the seething rage you feel emanating from him.

“I… I’m sorry, John.” You’re not afraid of his mood, but it’s rather the guilt that sinks its claws into you which evokes tears in your eyes.

He stops in his tracks, lets go of your hand, and turns around so fast it’s like he’s trying to evade a bullet. Within seconds, he has you wrapped up in his arms, his fingers running through your hair in an effort to console you. “Hey, don’t cry. I’m not mad with you, just a little annoyed you don’t account for me and worried about what might happen when you’re alone. I know you’re a capable girl, Y/N, but I still care about your well-being too.”

The back rubs help soothe the storm of tears welling up inside you, waiting to come thundering out. Nevertheless, the kiss on the top of your head calms it. “How about we grab a coffee, hm? Maybe get something to eat too. My treat.”

He holds you at arm’s length, checking your expression while lovingly wiping the tears rolling down your cheeks away. “Does that sound good?”

You nod. You inhale and exhale deeply, feeling silly for acting like a child at your grown age. “I’m sorry you had to see that. And for me not telling you where I was.”

“Shh, ‘s alright, love.” While normally he wouldn’t allow himself to do it since you’re not official yet and he doesn’t know whether you reciprocate his feelings or not, he kisses your forehead and the tip of your nose. “Let’s go to the café. Don’t let go of my hand.”

And you don’t.

(Might make this imagine into a proper scene for my dad’s best friend!John Price story. It’s in the works, btw! I’m currently gathering inspiration and writing bits like the above here and there, organically creating the tale, so to say.😉)

[beartitled]

Content time fellas 🍄

We’re getting through my uni catalog 📒 /silly

🍄Mushroom lantern🍄

This project has irl backstory behind it, it will be under read more for ppl interested

This is not a real game 🫵 just some concepts smashed together to look like one

All pixel assets were made in about an hour or so

And afterwards I drew some additional art bc I liked the concept

The main heroine

Is a littol mushroom

I imagine her to be a fake fly agaric (I think it’s a real species, but I need to read more about it)

She basically imitates fly agaric in order to protect herself, bc she’s tiny and defenceless

NPCs

I don’t have a specific species for this one, so just the purple guys™️

I imagine them to be sentient pieces of a huge organism THE big purple mushroom lmao

Those are just random dudes you help with random quests, using the light of your lantern

The catch tho

The lantern

This is pretty much the characters soul

The fire you collect, helps you continue living

Something happened with lantern or if all light is drained = u dead

Not every species has it, but many use the lantern light as a resource

yea so by helping the npcs

you kinda

👁️👁️ actively die in the process

The Chanterelle Witch

This is where additional content begins >:D

I kinda imagine a mushroom city/town as a main location

The witch lives outside of it, isolated from other mushroom creatures

She decided to leave everything behind and live without any creatures around

~ because something mysterious happened 👀~

I imagine her being trans 🏳️‍⚧️

And of course

Mushroöm lesbiens ❤️🍄

Tall gorgeous woman x tiny smol little woman

I don’t really have a structured story for this world

Those are just some vague concepts floating in my bear brain

Which I may or may not develop in the future

Maybe someday I’ll get a random inspiration boost to do something with this💥

There are 2 pixel games concepts I did, so ya’ll see more pixels in the future 👾

Ok, so the backstory behind this project

Bring the tea fellas ☕️

Back in my uni days 👵

*dramatic bear coughing*/silly

Basically we had a subject “Game design”

The assignment was to create a pixel game concept: mainly just sprites, tiles and a “gameplay” screenshot

I will post the project I submitted later on (I need to keep u guys entertained while I’m on portfolio grind, so intrigue pauses ☝️)

This project however 🤨

Was a product of one interesting situation

I finished my project on time with no problem, but one person from my study group didn’t

They pretty much copied the sprites from an existing game (I believe they didn’t trace them, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did lmao)

Professor found out

and said “you either do an actual game in 3 days or you fail this class”

How take a guess who came to me after this pathetically sobbing and asking for help

And I, being a naive idiot, made them an entire game in 1 hour

Completely for free

Thinking they will change and they were probably just too busy to do this assignment

I’m incredibly angry at myself, bc the same person submitted an AI generated image as their art project next semester AND NOBODY CALLED THEM OUT ON IT

BRUH

I’m still incredibly mad to this day

And I’m telling you guys that

Bc don’t repeat my mistakes

Many people will use your kindness and steal your art outright

Don’t let people like that discourage you

I did that mistake

But L to that person, I have the og files, this is my silly mushroom lesbians

🔫🐻‍❄️

So yea

This person did not deserve this (I hope they step on a lego in the middle of the night)

But I’m glad I did this project

“That’s free real ocs🍄”/ref

[lokorum]

Pls rant about non romance cole…he’s my favorite character in anything, ever and it feels so sad that we never got to have a deeper relationship w him. Like the mechanics/possible lore of having a romance with a spirit are so tantalizingly interesting but no…also doubting we will see him in veil guard which leaves me so so broken …

*looks at their pile of unpacked feelings about cole*

so ૮( ◡̀_◡́)ა where to start....................

first of all uh! im not good at talking! that's why i draw phphp but i'll try my best to resurrect my memories from 2014 and share it with you!! sorry if it will sound weird, english is not my native language! 

well WELL from the begining then. i remember spending hours  more like days hhhh thinking about how weird and cool the recruiting scene with cole is? later when he is already with the inquisition, our party is either on guard around him or kinda treats him like he is helpless and needs special attention or guidance or something like that? demonising someone like him or framing them as in need of help are like textbook behavior ofc and im not here to be a hater, i just noticed it? moments with solas and varric fighting over him like a divorced couple are super cute for sure!!

but i remember being confused because excuse me, out of all of them, this guy??, this feral bat that is chilling on the ceiling like it's a lounge-zone inside Lucius' head, created especially for him?

he is confident. also a little bit nervous, a bunch mysterious and just ghostly cool. but also confident. (im not saying this confidence is not misplaced sometimes btw x) he even tells you that if you'll leave your head you'll die! what a jokester (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)

and the whole quest with templars and envy are soooo horror coded, i love it!! it looked a bit silly, sure

(even after so many years im not able to get rid of the image in my brain phphphp) 

but it's still a very interesting quest!! dorian is ✨the bestie✨ but i'm always picking templars bc the implications of the story are just so good

1. its placed at the beginning of the game and your character is probably confused and anxious and dont yet worked out the routine of how to deal with their new title\powers + not every inquisitor character would want to be in the spotlight.

imagine you suddenly got yourself into position where a lot of people looking up to you, listening to what you saying, placing their hopes on you or waiting for you to fail? this is terrible! id 1000% just jumped out of a cliff!!! a small one, but still 

2. you meeting the guy who basically came from a place you now have unlimited access to.

he is: a) almost as confused as you are b) possibly came to this world without knowing consequences of that decision c) along the way he is figuring out how to be himself in the environment that is nothing like where he used to live. wow thats just like forced immigration *nervous laugh*

3. and let's not forget that you are meeting him inside your head and you can say to him "you look familiar".

dont know about you but apparently i dont need much to start screaming ¯(ツ)/¯

also can i just spend the moment to say that this is three (3) identical dialogue options??????????

the screenshot is from here btw

how awesome would it be to be able to figure out stuff together? to find comfort in someone, with someone who barely experienced it this way? to build on your strong sides? like "hope" for cole and i guess "unhingedness" for the inquisitor? i bet they would ground each other easily as well: cole distracting inq by being unintentionally mischievous and inq would have a notepad with cole's "firsts ____" or they would just read together. oh im such a sucker for hurt\comfort\some things cant be healed stuff uaaaaaaaaa

ALSO THE "FORGET" THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the drama the horror the tension!!!!!!!! you can fight me over this but heres the thought:

cole being so stressed that he is erasing\being on the edge of erasing the inquisitor's memories??????

i got the feeling that cole's confidence in the concept of "help" is, among other things, makes him being able to zoom in on something borderline obsessively? or vise versa - dismissively, not noticing "it hurts, its not for the better"? he thanks you when you promise to kill him, he cries when you do not. i swear this man (─ ‿ ─)

+quick addition bc im not entirely sure: so if i got it right, the anchor makes the inquisitor "too bright" to read? so among all the people we know about inq is the one that cole can't truly empathise on this lvl? on spiritual lvl you might say lsdkjflksdjflkj sorry!!!!! but jokes aside,this is like the perfect ground to build both comforting stories 

"someone from the party notices that cole is hanging near inq before inq do, and when asked he explains it by saying something like "dry warm skin. the air is stilled with quiet, easy to breathe. i followed the shining whispers and then i was followed no more" with the most plain face possible? "

and "today for lunch i have glass" kind of stories, like "the inquisitor is cornered and possibly bleeding and probably on the verge of passing out and they know that situation is bad and no one should follow/find them, "it's better to wait it out and deal with it on my own" kind of clown behavior. so they laugh tiredly at how pathetic they are, maybe remembering something similar from their childhood, remarks from their sibling for ex., and just trying their best to not think about how they need cole's help, cole's presence. the sense of safety that comes when he is around" 

uh!!! that wasnt neither quick or painless so i'll go make a tea wait a second please

im back!! so since i talked about the forget thing i must confess - i dont really like cole's personal quest???? again, im not complaining or anything but i remember feeling kinda empty while playing it? like deep inside me, there was something sad, but it was so far away,i coudn't even feel it properly?

both human and spirit versions of his ending made me feel like the distance between you and him lengthened, and maybe you could do something about it before but now? this "something" is missing and you're lost and can't even tell for sure if theres was a chance to do something in the first place? and cole just moved on? its super logical considering he is not a romance option but phphph so, i rarely romance someone in games, partly bc rpg tends to be a little horny and im that kind of ace who is not interested in this, partly bc i tend to pay attention to non-romanceable characters, so when i started to explore last da:i dlc and i saw cole having gf i was like "well ouch".

imagine your inq has a crush on cole but they never were able to say it clearly?

mb it was a melancholic slowburn, and your character was going through too much and felt like burdening cole with their problems would be unfair?

maybe they tried but the timing was wrong, the words felt stupid, and their hands felt too dirty, too guilty?

oh anon its been ten years and its still huuuuuurts!!!! if you following me for a while you know that im an edge lord in poor disguise so its not surprising for neither you or me that i ended up rumbling about inexplicable sadness and crushing existential guilt, but sorry for that anyway!! if anyone would want me to talk about something specific, or to draw something - im here, staring at the wall, listening to cole's banter :') thank you for the wonderful question tho, it was more than just nice to return back to this ship. im so agreeing with you about cole being the fave character from everything, but i also understand that this could mean being very unsatisfied with the way he was portrayed at some points or just with the fact that characters like him are rare so im sending you warm and tight hugs and a little sketch!! <3 

let's collectively accept the fact that dav gonna be a beautiful mess, we gonna love it (passionately), we gonna be hurt by it (not surprisingly) and COLE FOREVER WILL BE THE BEST DA CHARACTER EVER IM NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND FIGHT ME

[fangirlanxiety74]

TELL ME ABOUT TED. Headcanons you have for him, anything... Can be silly or serious.

Someone... SOMEONE'S ASKING ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS?! IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE SOMEONE'S ASKED ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS!! HOLD ON, I MADE A DOCUMENT!! /ref/hj

In actuality, I did genuinely make a google doc. But it's not ready to be shared yet, so I'll share the highlights.

First off, the game manual lies. He is NOT 44. He's 33 at OLDEST. I kind of consider him more like 29/30. Just barely.

He grew up in South Carolina hehe, farm boy

Bisexual disaster but I think this is kinda just obvious.

He is the oldest between him and his 5 siblings!!! And adding onto this, he is SUCH a good older brother. I don't care if everyone else disagrees, he could be the worst man alive but the one good thing someone could say was that he took care of his siblings.

If you know Ayano from Kagerou Project, I think he's a lot like her when he's younger. Like 8/9 years old. He tried so hard to protect them all from their parents and keep them happy. He'd sacrifice so much for them, it's why he kinda,, went into the extreme of being so,, entitled as a grown up. Ykwim???

Just imagine. With the ice caves, moving without thinking to save the others before himself? His brain subconsciously doing what he knows best; sacrificing what he has for others.

Selflessness as a core trait for Ted, please.

Another thing relating to his siblings: He knows how to do ballet!! And he's REALLY good at it. He actually has a lot of fun doing it. One of his sisters wanted to, but she was too afraid to take lessons alone, so he went along with her in secret. Didn't get caught for years. (She stopped lessons once he got forced out of them)

He talks a little like a New-Yorker, or at the very least, that transAtlantic accent (yk like from the old movies?) to try and play off as that kind of guy like Great Gatsby.

His actual accent is Southern. Sometimes it slips out when he's like, extremely flustered/angry, but it's such a rare thing.

He can't stand the sound of someone crying, it immediately makes him angry. Take that, and yk, Ellen or Benny constantly crying... Yeaaaah. (This is also due to his siblings).

This is obvious, he forces himself into doing a lot of masculine things that he doesn't like to appear older/wiser/better, insert whatever word you wanna use that translates to "I am insecure about myself" lol

Okay this last one is really important to me and like. It. Needs its own special paragraph. He is a creative person in his soul. He loves to learn, he loves to write, he loves to read and dance and sing and draw and he has such a huge imagination and love for creativity. You can see it in his psychodrama with how it plays out like a full-blown Grimms Fairytale, the monster he imagined that no one else could see, the line in the radio drama "Am I the last storyteller, telling the last story...?"

He's a storyteller. He has so much to say and share, and he would've done something creative with his life if he had the option, but the abuse he faced and the societal expectations placed on him forced him to,, give it all up. Made him realize he could never have that. Which is why, at least in the game, AM chose him. Ted had so much potential to create, and just... gave it up. For seemingly nothing. Why wouldn't that make AM mad, who can't create, can't even imagine or wonder?

AKA Theatre Kid Ted canon, let it be known

I have like, also. I have a somewhat-AU of Omori for the ihnm cast, and Ted takes the role of Basil. I think Dream Basil vs RW Basil fit a lot of what he is as a kid vs an adult, or at least aspects of both due.

I also have a Hadestown AU of him with my self-insert where he takes the role of Eurydiceeee.... Like. Guys, Hadestown fans, hear me out. Ted singing "Flowers." AM singing "Hey Little Songbird" to Ted. PLEASE HEAR ME CAN YOU HEAR ME??? ARE YOU LISTENING??? /J

There's so much more I can say but this is getting so long I will definitely share more if people want nfjkdc bUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

[uwusillygirl]

HAPPY END OF KINKTOBER! UWUSILLYGIRL'S BIG HUGE THANK YOU POST!

hi!!!!

first and foremost, i'd love to thank everyone for such a fabulous kinktober. i was tentative about doing something within the community; i was worried no one would participate, or i would be organizing an event "wrong", or that people would feel limited by my prompts and suggestions. you all made sure that absolutely NONE OF THESE FEARS WERE WARRANTED! everyone came with the COOLEST shit.

here is a brief collection of some of my personal favorites; either just stunningly written, fascinatingly done, or personally my cup of tea (and i will not tell you which is which! lmao!)

A SHORT LIST OF SOME FANTASTIC PIECES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):

@aicosu's "KNOCK KNOCK": oxy-addicted, adhd, dopamine hole eddie and fastidious, nerdy, ex-fundamentalist chrissy meet at the glory hole of a seedy sex arcade. visceral, headachey, and so hot.

@staceymcgillicuddy's whole series was awesome, but i LOVED their "humiliation + bladder control" prompt especially. nasty and mean!

@jewelledfoxes' also had banger after banger, but i really loved their bottoming from the top prompt, "i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck" .

the anonymously posted "if loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right": the most charming, sweetest little take on hybristophilia a girl has ever seen! chrissy sees eddie being very evil and bad (read as: harmless graffiti) and is simply swept away by his raw criminality. so cute, soft, silly, fantastic.

@chrissy-n-eddie's "Bottom Bunk", a one-shot using "gender bend" and "spit" to give the CUTEST DAMN SAPPHIC CAMP COUNSELOR PUSSY EATING FIC TO EVER EXIST MAYBE EVER? THEY'VE GOT SUNBURNED NOSES! THEY'RE IN LITTLE YELLOW T-SHIRTS!

@bettercraic went big-brained as all hell with their jonathan/nancy/eddie/chrissy voyuerism installment, "let's make a team". quick and sexy.

@erythromanc3r wrote this mean and insane and nasty one-shot, "kiss me where you bruise me" that is the hottest anything ever. you're never gonna guess what i loved about it (kidding. you will. it's mean.)

FINALLY! i would like to thank those who stuck to THEIR OWN HARD LIMITS, CREATED WHOLE SERIES, OR WANTED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE! we had some people make whole cohesive (@hunter-gatherer-stuff) stories, we had some people come in and write about pimple popping, we had people write shit (@badlydrawnlips) based on my own indulgent little kink dynamics (sorry, couldn't not mention that one... so baller), and best of all, we had people write their own stuff when the prompts were not for them. that made my heart so happy.

A FINAL PERVERT'S NOTE:

if you are working on a kinktober series that's gonna take more time, if you have prompts in process that you suddenly have the urge to finish, if you wake up in a cold sweat on december 3rd and just NEED to write about spit, fucking do it and tag it. i love you so much. every day is kinktober if you are a true pervert. take your time, love your life, remember that fanfiction (like art in general!) should be an enjoyable effort and made under your own rules!

there is still some stuff i have left to read on the tag! and i loved literally everything i read, this is just a rapid-fire word vomit. i PROMISE i will get around to anything unread soon! i am so unbelievably pleased about this month, thank you all again so, so, so much!

[somethingclevermahogony]

Writeblr Interview

Rules: Answer the Questions

Thanks for the tags @mk-writes-stuff, @the-golden-comet, and @tildeathiwillwrite!

Short stories, novels or poems?

Novels or Epic Poems (Odyssey, Iliad, Aeneid, Epic of Gilgamesh is the GOAT (the officiant literally quoted it at my wedding)).

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy or Epic Poetry. I haven't actually sat down and read a book in a while though, my life has been pretty overwhelmed with academic papers and such.

What genre do you prefer writing?

Fantasy, preferably High/Epic Fantasy, turn world-building up to the max.

Are you a planner or a write-as-i-go kind of person?

I do a ton of planning for the world (I'm a lore nut) and I plan out broad narratives and directions, but I tend to let the path to get there just sort of happen.

What music do you listen to while writing the story?

That depends on what I'm writing. I actually don't tend to listen to a lot of music when I'm actually writing because it distracts me. I listen before I start to write, what exactly I listen to changes.

Sometimes I listen to the same song from Little Shop of Horrors, Epic the Musical, or whatever. For awhile I was listening to Prom Queen by Beach Bunny over and over and over and over again. I don't know why I do that, it just scratches my brain.

Fav books/movies

I love the Gregor the Overlander Series. It balances silliness and fantasy with darkness. The worldbuilding is complex enough to be intriguing and yet so ridiculous that you just sort of accept it. Giant talking rats and Victorian Rats living in a massive subterranean world underneath NYC? Why not! The books made my mom cry over a cockroach so there's that.

As previously stated, Epic of Gilgamesh is great, its so interesting to see all the tropes and story beats already developed thousands of years ago. I love my two big burly bronze age queers.

Saying the LOTR movies feels like a cope-out, but I genuinely do love those movies.

Any Current WIPs?

The Testaments of the Green Sea series! I'm sure you've seen random tidbits on Tumblr if you've been in any of the worldbuilding or fantasy writing places.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Reading glasses worn too far down my nose, a button up shirt (probably blue checkered) with the sleeves rolled up, baggy jeans, and black shoes. Looks like a young chubby and scruffy caveman cosplaying as a 45 year-old English teacher.

Create a character description of yourself.

He was of average height, though he looked taller than he actually was owing to the mane of hair which surrounded his head and covered his shoulders and upper back in a blanket of brown curls. His beard and moustache were both of medium length, though his moustache was in need of a trim. A pair of fingerprint smudged, wire-rimmed glasses sat on the tip of a crooked and humped nose, as far away from his heavy brows and green eyes as they could be while still maintaining their grip on his face. He wore a checkered blue and white button up, the sleeves hastily rolled up to his elbows. His jeans were baggy, and though he hated to admit it, were swiftly developing a hole on the inner thigh. He's was normally a quiet man, prone to sit and nod, rather than to speak. The exception of course, was with his wife, in which case he could hardly be made to shut up.

Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

Literally putting people I know into my writing? No, I don't think it would really work to randomly insert my friends and family into my fantasy setting. I do like taking bits of inspiration from people though!

Are you kill-happy with the characters?

I guess that depends on what this means...because my series takes place over vast lengths of time, almost everyone in my stories does die eventually, but that's just nature. I don't shy away from killing my characters, that's for sure, though I try to make sure it adds something to the plot, I don't like killing characters just for the sake of it.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Tea (The real answer is wine)

Slow or Fast writer?

Fast writer, sloooow editor.

Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

Lots of things. A big part of my inspiration comes from the ancient civilizations that I study, like the Hittites and Mycenaeans. I also take inspiration from my family and my wife. Myths are a big inspiration too, I've said plenty of times that my MC, Narul, is Gilgamesh with social-anxiety.

If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

Dead....or less pessimistically probably the local baker/cook.

Fave book cliche?

Found Family! Honorable mention for Gentle Giant characters!

Least fave book cliche?

Dark/High Fantasy including explicit depictions of SA or underage stuff because its "accurate", just the implication will suffice, I don't need that nonsense playing in my ear while I'm at work, thank you very much (Looking at you GRR Martin, or as my wife and I call you, JarJar Martin)

Fave scenes to write?

Scenes with nature or monsters! Trying to be descriptive and convey what the characters are seeing and feeling is really interesting to me!

Most productive time of day for writing?

Between 1:00 and 4:00 in the morning, unfortunately. That's also when my typos are the worst.

Reason for writing?

To bring my characters to life and to share their stories and scenes with other people.

I don't know how many people have already done this so I'm just gonna leave this one open!

Blank list under the cut:

Short stories, novels, or poems?

What genre do you prefer reading?

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

What music do you listen to while writing?

Favorite books/movies?

Any current WIPs?

Create a character description of yourself:

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Slow or fast writer?

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Most fav book cliche:

Least favorite cliche:

Favorite scene to write?

Reason for writing?

[aihoshiino]

In Viewpoint B (thank you for that TL of it, by the way!), Ai says to Kyun that she was a liar even before becoming an idol. Ai also describes herself as a liar in her inner monologue in the flashback to when she was scouted in Chapter 8/Episode 1. Do you have any ideas about what lies/"lies" she could be referring to, or how her self-hatred generates this specific self-perception?

You're very welcome – glad you enjoyed! Viewpoint B is my favourite of the sidestories so I'm really happy I was able to make it more available to everyone else, too.

Talking about 'lies' in OnK is kind of messy sometimes, honestly! I think this is where a lot of the weirder/more off base interpretations of Ai in the fandom come from because people get tripped up by how the story uses the word and assume that it begins and ends with the very literal dictionary definition of like, "an intentionally false directly expressed statement". And while this isn't not part of what OnK means when it talks about lies, there's a lot more going on than that.

'Lies' in OnK are essentially an umbrella term being used to cover a whole shitload of thematic ground via abstraction. When Oshi no Ko talks about lies, it's talking about falsehoods, inauthenticity, the sanitized and manufactured versions of ourselves we wear for social approval, the idea of persona, celebrity culture, idol culture, parasocial relationships, abuse, purity culture, misogyny, art, fiction, mental illness, love, hate and all manner of other things.

"Holy shit, Claire" you may presumably say "That's a whole lot of things for just one word to cover???"

And I would say... yep it is! But that's why just one word is used — because the story has so much ground it wants to cover, some of it needs to be abstracted just to not exhaust the audience. To quote Dan Olson's weirdly relevant video on the NC's The Wall review:

"Abstraction is, counter-intuitively, really efficient. It allows a movie to be about a lot of things simultaneously by letting symbols bleed into each other. [...] Symbols shift and merge and break apart, juxtaposed and contrasted in order to create an impression of their interconnected relationship in a way that is difficult to do with mere words."

Accordingly, it's a little hard to express this idea without just vaguely waving my hands and going "oooo the vibes" but I think it is something you end up just kind of vibing with when you have spent enough time chewing on the characters and why they do and say the things they do.

In Ai's case, when she talks about 'lies', she is generally referring to the performance of a sanitized and idealized self by omitting the parts of herself that do not line up with her public image. I've previously noodled on this topic in an older post that I still stand by and this basic idea still forms the foundation of most of my Ai analysis: "Really, the biggest “lie” Ai is telling is the one people have demanded she tell: the illusion of an eternally pure and cheerful idol. But being an idol has become so forcibly entangled in Ai’s personhood at the expense of allowing her to just be a human that of course she thinks of herself as a liar for being unable to live up to that image."

To Ai, any failure to disclose her true, ugly self is a lie. Her performance of a self that other people find lovable is the thing she thinks of as lying. It's also worth noting that in both Viewpoint B and her flashback, she's describing her younger self in hindsight and attributing the label of 'liar' to her rather than this being something Ai called herself before meeting Saitou, who went on to completely rewire her brain by teaching her that this performance for social approval was lying and that it was okay and even necessary for her to do it.

I also think Ai's history of abuse at her mom's hands also contributed to this a great deal. I, uh, don't want to go too deep into this in my silly Oshi no Ko meta tag but speaking from experience: growing up with a parent like Ayumi, you get really good at lying. You get really good at saying "I'm sorry", "I forgive you" and whatever the fuck else they want to hear from you just to calm them down and make them happy. You get really, really good at performing the most perfectly sanitized version of yourself possible just to keep the peace. Knowing just how long and how violently Ai was being abused by Ayumi, it's really hard for me to not project that survival tactic onto her.

[isabeljkim]

hi!!! thnx for posting so much writing advice, very helpful to see from someone in the Business™️ :))) if you’re willing to spare some more, how do you find your way into a pov/story structure? do you know right away when you start drafting or do you try a few different approaches first? i feel like you’re very good at twisty/layered plots in a small space and i’d love to know how you get there <3

ya sure lets talk story structure!

so i do this v different for Long Things (novel :< ) and for Short Things, and btwn Short Things, its different for what i consider story (regular) and story (ah!). these are categories that only make sense in my brain but the functional difference is that story (regular) is a linear narrative and story (ah!) is when i try to do something weird because i feel like getting a little silly with it. so i guess the first thing i do personally is decide on whether the structure will be linear or experimental. and that's a decision i make kind of....just based on the story idea, and how i'm feeling? some things lend themselves better to disjoint, but that's really only something you can figure out through experience. i'd say its good to go in knowing whether you want to stick to tradition or stretch your wings.

i then just start drafting, and then i usually end up rewriting the opening a few different times - this is sometimes because i realize im telling the story from the wrong perspective, or in the wrong tense or the wrong person. i personally have a weakness for the second person and a dislike of the first person, and i have to actively keep myself from just going second person present when its not really necessary. usually when it clicks it clicks, but that might take a few different iterations. my advice here is that if you write and its not working, then take a break, think about it, and try from a different angle - a lot of the time its that you're telling the story from the wrong person's pov.

i then usually block out scenes - write out a couple words/sentences about what happens in the next xyz scenes, sometimes the ending... and then i just start writing, backtracking when things go wrong. usually i have a decent idea of where i'm going but about half of it gets thrown out while writing, and that's ok. that's just part of the process.

for twisty/layered plots, well, the secret is that i just have a tendency to make things hella convoluted when they honestly do not need to be, and that's just who i am as a person. but the other secret is that a layered plot in a small space is something you build retroactively. when you build a story, your grat advantage as the writer is that you can finish the story and then go back and scaffold the story. with a twisty plot in a small space, what you want to do is to create a single throughline and pepper it with additional details that snap into focus at the end, so that the reader can go back and re-read and realize "wait, this all was part of one narrative."

i think my best advice re: plot / story structure is that its necessary, but doesn't need to be complicated. in general, most things boil down to "guy wants something but cannot get it because of reasons" and "guy experiences something fucked that changes him." thats the foundation to build ur house on.

hope this helps lol idk if it does !!

[goodmode]

who or what was your biggest art inspiration? :0c

woof, difficult question!!! i never know how to answer this because my inspirations are wild and varied and not always very "coherent" but. i'll give it a go

i got my start drawing silly anime furries like a lot of people. i was massively inspired by the art of Furcadia, specifically the older stuff. back then it felt magical and specialised and more niche than i might see it anywhere else. it was really beautiful - dated now, considering the tendency towards furry art having bigger, more human eyes and more emphasised details (which i do lean into myself) but i'll let it speak for itself.

as a little 10-13 year old, this was formative. (thank you talzemir, and everyone else who created art (pixel and otherwise) for this game, including custom patch artists. there is not enough space in a tumblr post to go into how enamored i was with the visual worldbuilding and bright early-Windows colours and level of detail, especially leaving out the maps and items and walksprites, but i became who i was with Furcadia's support and the art still guides me a little. i still want to make species recogniseable, i don't want to draw everything like a slightly narrower or blunter puppy. you feel me. i want my art to be BROAD and i want species to look like their species. this is why.

(special mention goes to the community, but this isn't a post about that. just know that without Furc people to lean on, i might not be me today!!!)

i was also heavily influenced by peers on DeviantART. i won't post their old art and embarrass them here, but shoutout to my friends who i grew up with drawing pokemon OCs, pokemon mystery dungeon story comics (PMD also a huge influence), anime, invader zim, yet more furries, and the rest. i branched out into a lot of different silly cartoon and anime styles back then and without looking at what those peers were doing i might never have experimented at all. i can only imagine how narrow my scope would be without them. (hopefully those still in touch know who they are!! special shoutout to those i no longer speak with, i haven't forgotten them either. hope they're doing well. also hello Black Scythe Pack circa my Authenti era)

i also need to credit @zarla-s because i think literally everything on ashido.com and NPLU and especially-especially-especially seeing the Slalomicide music video Flash animation when i was a wee bairn did something to my brain. i'm not who i was before i watched that animation. i remember downloading and listening to the MP3 to-and-from school and self-inserting my own furry OC. i remember watching all of the other flash animations on ashido.com with a mad appetite, regardless of whether i understood or was aware of the source material for the fanworks. i remember my dad-and-his-friend-pirate-combo bootlegging Adobe Flash MX 2004 for me and becoming a monster who experimented all day in their room with animations because someday i wanted to tell a story like that with my furry, and it made me want to know movement and expression and camera angles. i cannot move on without bowing low at the Zarla shrine. to know Zarla is still going is to know there are unicorns yet. (i remember clicking the thin lines of the play button, because you didn't flood-fill and the outlines were the only pixels clickable to start the animation. I REMEMBER. and it was formative.)

um. Homestuck! the fanart and the contributing artists, too, but also just - the shortform simple shapes, the stylisation, the bright colours and stark contrast and silly levels. and the sort of wet "blotchy ink-splatter" pixel brushwork of that and Problem Sleuth.

all of this made me want to create something dynamic and silly. i wanted to be able to make something where people could attach to the characters no matter how silly they looked at first glance, and to make something big and wild and expressionistic(???) while simplifying things enough that my then-undiagnosed-ADHD brain could play with them and still have fun without it being work.

and then there's Justice League International (1987)(?)(onward).

believe me when i say i was wheezing on reading these. and wildly invested! i am still trying to push and push and push my art to be anything like the power-combo trio of Giffen, DeMatteis, and Maguire. everything from the composition and planning to the sketching to the beautiful inks made every single panel an absolute joy. for the first time reading comics, i wanted to slow down. i wanted to pick out every silly background detail in group shots, see where the inks emphasised shadow, notice why negative space was left and where and why. i wanted to do expressions this fucking funny.

i also give credit to the Blue Beetle comics from 2006/2009. i loved them, i studied them, i learned the alien language.

honestly my comics era was insane for my art development. i learned how limbs work back-and-forth from the camera, the basics of foreshortening, dynamic lighting, composition, contrast, inks, emphasis, i'm still trying to learn simplification and typesetting and speech bubbles and negative space and inked shadow.

plus credit to Batman: The Animated Series. obviously. and to the Batman Adventures comics where i learned the riddler was desperately gay. and shoutout to Ghibli. and to the artists behind movies like The Lion King. (i will not credit Disney as a company.)

and... now i'm somewhere very strange, i think! and i am having fun. and i like my art. so.

thank you to everybody, i guess!

[dashielldeveron]

It’s that I never ever want your fics to end but like it did and it was so god damn cute

Making Shigaraki, excuse me Tenko JUST A GUY but also CLEVER AND GOOD

Agh

Just

Also I reread the Shinsou one because that one is. It sustains me. It actively hurts me as much as it like is a dream to read. Awkward part of it is that I’m so much like reader but a little not, but also yes, so I was simultaneously going ‘too slow’ and ‘too fast back up too fast’

“Purity culture has chewed you up and spit you back out” stop please I’ll never get over that quote

Anyways empty your brain onto the internet so I can live in the crevices of your writers block cause even that has to ooze some sort of self assuredness in what personality you have because every reader likes pink lemonade; the creator of HunterxHunter, and other various remnants of you or perhaps a character you’ve created because if you gave me years to state what my favorite drink was I still could not answer

In summary let me have the knowledge of who I am your stories protagonists have please, the indecision needs to leave me

Also pink lemonade is just a solid choice of drink I commend you

Also everytime the MC does something like step back to make their steps louder as they come to someone is so casually tender I physically can’t

Also the way you speak, like your narrator author voice speaks is so. Like yes the typical ‘I was overcome by tenderness’ is overdone but the consistent ‘fuck you you’re so tender and sweet’ is more abrupt than I’m used to in like the best way?

It’s like just such a entertaining train of thought to read because it is so much more of a train of thought than a guide through emotions and it’s so fun

This is so long forgive me but I love your writing

shigaraki deserves to be just a guy :) i have low hopes for his getting to be just a guy in canon, but that's okay--he gets to be just a guy in fanfic :)

yeahhhhhhhhhhhh shinsou route reader allows herself to be vulnerable about something she's scared of, and it's very very brave of her. it's awkward and embarrassing but still hopeful bc of how shinsou treats her with enormous love like she deserves. i'm glad you could find some solace in it :)

and ohhhhhhh anon i would die for you. i love you. you have been so VERY very kind to me and my silly stories, so thank you v v v v much!!!!! i will think on the wonderful things you've said and keep them in my heart :) i hope that the next route will meet your expectations!!!! xx.

[vstoly-blog]

Jealous Boy

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Gender neutral reader ❀

Everyone can identify ❀

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Riddle reacting at the Halloween event one of the visitors asking their loved one to marry them

Riddle Rosehearts

Everyone was busy receiving visitors and that included you, even though your dorm was not available for visits you took advantage of your wizard costume with Grim to create a character to cheer up both adults and children, old magic tricks from your world and a kind personality.

As your dorm prohibited access to visitors, the idea is that you and Grim wander around the place like wandering witches, whoever found them could buy some of their trinkets, win a candy or watch a small magic show with Grim's help.

You two didn't have a fixed place, so it's easy to walk around and visit your colleagues to see how they were doing, as well as playing with the visitors a little, the first day the visitors weren't so curious, but lately everyone was looking forward to seeing the wizards wandering.

ー Here's your gift for meeting us, the sorcerers wish you a good stay, little one.

You gave the last child the candy in the form of a frog, then watching him run to his friends who were waiting for him, hearing the voices of the little ones getting further and further away.

ー You're very good with children ー one of your classmates commented approaching with a few more people you recognized. It wasn't long before another visitor approached, Grim grinned as he took the reins.

ー Hey, human! you found one of the greatest mages, do you want a reward or buy something to never forget? ー Grim motioned to some small objects but the visitor was far from really paying attention to the cat, going straight to what he wanted, in this case, you, passing by Grim who quickly got annoyed at being completely ignored.

ー Hey! I'm talking with you! Can't you hear me?!ー You decided to smile when the visitor stopped in front of you.

ー Can I help with something?

the visibly shy visitor just managing to utter "I would like you to marry me."

M O R T I F I E D

He looked the visitor up and down to think how offensive it is to just ask to marry him

I don't need to mention that he thinks so because he wanted to propose to you too, JEALOUS OF THIS COURAGE ARGH!!!

Looking to the side he can see Deuce completely shocked, Ace with his hand over his mouth undecided whether to laugh or despair, Cater cautiously holding the phone and Trey putting his hand on Riddle's shoulder

But he's not putting a hand on his shoulder for some comfort but it's like "Don't be silly" or "stop" because he knows exactly what Riddle is thinking

In case you didn't know about Riddle's crush on you, then... by now it's pretty obvious why everyone is walking on eggshells with Riddle in this situation avoiding his stress

An awkward silence reigned as your brain processed what was really going on and Grim was sure you broke.

ー What?ー you say and Grim climbs on your shoulder and answers for the boy.ー He asked you to marry him!

ー Your wandering witch story moved me a lot and i confess that i am in love with your kindnessー You chose to politely decline while still in character, holding the visitor's hands and smiling.

ー I am moved by your love but I can't accept it, I can only love someone powerful in magic to break the curse on my heartー Letting go of the visitor's hands and taking a small key chain and placing it between his hands ー Don't worry about me, me and my partner we will be fine.

Riddle didn't even notice the sigh of relief at his silly response to the visitor and unfortunately neither did you.

ー I mean if your family is rich- HUM!

Grim before completing was quickly silenced by Deuce since Riddle was in his own world just paying attention to you and your shy conversation.

It wasn't long before you were saying goodbye to visitor with a goofy smile.

ー I was thinking, Riddle is strong enough to break his curse, isn't he?ー Cater asked purposefully making both of you shy, initially you didn't think you should answer but you saw how everyone was looking curiously.ー I can't tell, do you think you can do it, Riddle?

Riddle with a surprised face closed his eyes to take a deep breath and remain calm while his face turned completely red and his heart seemed desperate to show how he felt.

ー I think soー Riddle replied a little low and Ace opened a huge smile.

ー We didn't listen, what did you say?

ー I said there are new visitors, come on!

Riddle replied in his raw self again as he went back to attend to the other people, Ace sighed sadly ー I'm tireed

ー We're almost done, happy halloween.ー Trey said patting Ace on the back and walking them back while all you could do is wave at them.

ー Happy halloween, guys!

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Open request

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Cat's notes

I'm so tired, it would be for all the dorm leaders but i'm anxious and i don't have a banner for the others so Riddle is here for now. I want to leave it open for all the people in the LGBT+ community who like twisted wonderland. i accept ideas, correction for my english butt and stuff. My spine is so dead help.

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[argisthebulwark]

Do you have any mod recs for skyrim? I’ve played pure vanilla for 800 years but that quick start thing y’all were talking about a while back got me intrigued

(also I love your bryn mini fics. so so much. I go back to read them all the time. bless ur hands)

thank u!!! i love your kaeya prof pic he's so <3

i totally understand i played vanilla skyrim on a ps3 for years and years until my husband introduced me to modding lol. i don't mod it heavily i mostly do quality of life improvements, just enough to keep me from getting bored. i've wanted to try the interesting npc mod but it was clashing with something else and i stopped trying but might be worth looking into!

Alternate Start - Live Another Life has been a legit lifesaver. i've seen some people use it to start a rp style playthrough because you can spawn in a faction/area and your starting gear is different so you can get straight to what your character needs, but i like to choose the option of being a landowner and getting a free house without having to do silly little quests lol. it gives you so many options to skip the helgen intro scene and get you to the area you want to be without walking to whiterun every single time.

JK's Skyrim is one i love a lot because it doesn't change the major cities it just. dresses them up a little. the vanilla cities are pretty plain with their sigils thrown around to remind you where you are but idk this mod really helps me get immersed with little things like markets and adding verticality to different areas instead of a flat map. the creator really paid attention to what makes each area different and helps me feel the difference between each town.

i will never stop talking about how good Legacy of the Dragonborn is, especially if you've already played the main story quests enough times to know them by heart like most of us at this point. it creates a museum in that empty space near the blue palace and has an entirely new questline that is SO compatible when played alongside your story quests and guild quests. it also helps when you're like me and like to hoard cool items lol. there's specialized cases for every quest/radiant/cool item you come across and provides you with a way to make a display copy of quest items so you don't have to choose between displays and completing quests. and the story!!! is a little spooky and so so fun. the NPC's are fun to interact with. it can be a little buggy if you don't have the support patches so make sure to read the page.

SkyUI and the Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patches are also borderline necessary for a lot of modding. i've stopped using the nexus mod manager and instead use Mod Organizer just because it's a lot easier for my brain to organize things in that interface, and i use LOOT because it's great at prioritizing mods and lets me know when certain mods don't work together.