#something something being grateful and loving someone but leaving them anyway because of death or imminent death/danger. do we get it

[ninesugars]

Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.

richard siken, the worm king’s lullaby // maggie stiefvater, the raven king // the mcelroys, taz: balance // eiichiro oda, one piece // yasuhiro nightow, trigun maximum // tamsyn muir, gideon the ninth // intelligent systems, fire emblem: awakening // nora sakavic, the king’s men

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt: The Prefect's Obsession.

Pairing: Yandere!Prefect/ Yuu and Reader/ Player (can be read as platonic or romantic)

Genre: Yandere

TW: Obsessive behaviour...? Let me know if anything else should be added ^^ (Reader and Yuu are two different individuals.)

AN: I initially had the prompt 'obsession', but reading @roseapov 's Player and Overseer thing gave me this idea; what if Yuu was more than just a puppet, and equally as obsessed with the player as the rest of the twst cast? I'm trying to explore how to write more unsettling kind of stuff, since I'm pretty good at writing regular ol' angst and fluff if I do say so myself ^^ somehow twst brings out this side of me lol. Anyways, as always, I hope you enjoy!

The Prefect was made aware of your presence in their life during the first ever battle they fought, against the blot monster in the Dwarves' Mines.

They remember the rush of energy that filled them, the authority with which they barked out orders for their friends to fight. The intensity of the battle had had little effect on them (even though a small part in the back of their brain said that they should have been freaking out) as they instructed their friends, while their own strings were pulled by another.

Till then, the Prefect had only felt someone's intent gaze, even when no one was there. At times a little rhythm would be thrumming under their skin, sometimes soft and slow, other times fast-paced and exhilarating. But the way you had possessed their body, taken over their actions to lead them and their friends to victory, was what astonished and scared them the most.

They hated it at first. After all, who would like to have no control over their actions in a life-or-death situation? But as time went by, and you led them to victory and safety so many more times, the Prefect grew fonder of you.

The many hours you spent, watching them repair Ramshackle or handle Grim and the rest of the first years endeared you to them. You were so patient, so kind-hearted to be helping this magicless human navigate the challenges of being transported to a magical world. Their desire to know you, to thank you grew day by day, minute by minute. After all, without your help they would not have gotten this far. Somewhere, the lines between genuine gratefulness and blinded devotion blurred, and the Prefect had no intention of redrawing those lines, ever again.

They could tell when you weren't with them. The lightness they felt when under your watchful (and loving, hopefully) eyes would go away sometimes, leaving them to mindlessly wander, waiting for you to come back. Of course, they wouldn't hold your occasional absences against you. They couldn't even bring themself to think something so blasphemous as to hold a grudge against you. But they also couldn't suppress the fear and anxiety that ate away at them each time you left, wondering whether you would come back, when you would come back, and how long you would stay with them the next time.

You, who they had never seen, had more of an impact and importance in their life than the boys of the seven dorms they had become fast friends with.

A conversation with Riddle after one of their lessons together revealed that the boys were also aware of a greater entity watching over them. They called you by a special name, one initially used by Idia and then adopted by everyone else.

Player.

Prefect tested the word, satisfied by the way it rolled off their tongue. Because they control us, just like a player would their game characters.

The Prefect became the subject of more attention fairly quickly after it became known that they were aware of the player and not just a oblivious puppet as Azul had theorized earlier. Considering that you used the Prefect exclusively to interact with everyone, the boys would try to spend as much time as they could in their presence, in hopes of feeling the your 'grace' and monopolizing it. It was just a feeling, one that they could all experience but none could explain. Your presence through the Prefect calmed them. Even when they thought themselves to be alright, the feeling of your presence would help soothe parts of themself they weren't aware needed soothing.

But the Prefect...They hated it.

The way they all milled around them, hungry for any indication of your presence, your validation. The way they stuck close to them, waiting to bask in the familiar warmth and calm that surrounded the Prefect when you visited them. To the Prefect, they were quickly turning from friends to insistent, irritating flies buzzing around.

Nobody deserved to be in your presence. Nobody but them. Because you chose the Prefect as your vessel, a blank slate for you to use to mercifully interfere in the lives of those who didn't deserve you.

The Prefect felt a sense of pride at the thought of being your puppet, at your mercy and for you to do what you wish with them. No greater honour could have been conferred to them and their existence than to create miracles in your name, under your guidance.

Of course, this... devotion meant that the Prefect often wondered about you. While you watched over them as they attended their lessons, the Prefect wondered if you liked to learn History; perhaps you were more into sports and fitness. Or perhaps alchemy was more your pace?

The Prefect also liked to imagine that their features somewhat mirrored yours. Perhaps your eyes were similar, or the curve of your nose, or perhaps your skin tone. After all, there must be something common between an entity and their vessel, to show that they are bound to each other, right?

As they looked down at your fallen form, however, they could not see any similarity. Not even a passing resemblance.

You were different, breathtakingly so.

Having spent the most amount of time in your presence, there was no way the Prefect could have made a mistake. The light sheen of grace that clung to your skin was enough of an indicator of your identity. The Prefect watched, mesmerized by your (e/c) eyes that held a mix of awe and curiosity, your apologies for bumping into them ignored in favour of staring at your face, searing each and every feature into their brain.

The Player.

The player was in Twisted Wonderland.

The player was in Twisted Wonderland?

But how?

Briefly, as Yuu extended a hand to help you up, they wondered if you had been unceremoniously dumped into this twisted world of magic and monsters, the same way they had. Their blood began boiling under their skin at the thought that some being (could this mean there were beings greater than you?) would treat you so carelessly, as if you did not hold power over some of the most important figures in Twisted Wonderland.

Prefect watched you stand with their help, a soft and grateful "Thank you," slipping through your lips and setting their every nerve on fire. The timbre of your voice, the slight awe in your words and the grateful light in your eyes as you looked at them, it was all so much. Too much, and yet still not nearly enough.

And then, a small voice spoke up from deep within them. 'The Player is here. And nobody knows.'

For if they had, if they had the slightest of an inkling that their beloved deity was amongst them, the housewardens would do their best to have you for themselves. Each dorm would declare an outright war on the others if it meant having you by their side.

But if you could be persuaded to join one before the others even found out...

They gave you a big smile, reverently noting the slight blush you sported. How cute. "No need to apologize. I wasn't looking where I was going either. But.. I haven't seen you around here before. I'm Yuu, what's your name?" They asked, hoping to not scare you off by seeming over eager.

"Ah, I'm (Name)," you answered, a bashful smile on your face. They cooed over your warm smile and sparkling eyes internally. So naive, so trusting; no wonder you cared about everyone, even those that had hurt your vessel, and by extension, you.

"I'm in the process of transferring from Aravae Arcane Academy," you continued, and their smile almost slipped from their face. You were in the process of transferring into Night Raven College? That too, from an obscure academy situated Sevens knows where? How long had it been since you had decided to grace Twisted Wonderland with your actual presence? How long had they been unaware of their beloved deity being so close? How long had they been unable to serve you as they should have?

The Prefect pushed the thoughts down, deep down, where it would never see the light of day ever again. You were here. Through some miracle, you were right in front of them, where they could touch you if you permitted (for they would never lay a hand on you without your permission).

And you would stay. The Prefect would go through it all again, fight the Great Seven even, if only to ensure that you would stay close to them. Where they could bask in your glory and serve you as they are meant to. A loyal follower devoting their heart, soul and mind to their beloved deity.

Your expression changed into one of slight embarassment and awkwardness, and that is when the Prefect realized they might have been just a little too intent with their staring. Nervously chuckling, they said, "Ah, okay. That explains it, I guess."

You chuckled as well, and the Prefect felt as though fate was smiling down upon them. This, this was their reward for going through all that they had. This was what they were meant for. "Yeah... I am kinda lost though. I was supposed to meet the Headmage, but..." You trailed off, and they nodded understandingly.

"Yeah, the grounds can be real hard to navigate. But don't worry! I'll help you get to the Headmage's office. He should be there, if he's not doing any surprise class supervisions today," they chirped.

"That would be nice. Oh, but, I don't want to trouble you. I mean, you must be busy..."

"It's no problem, really! I'm always happy to help!"

"Oh, well... If its not much trouble, please lead the way."

"Sure! Oh, by the way, do you have any dorm you'd like to be in? I know the Dark Mirror sorts students into dorms, but people do change their dorms sometimes if they want to..."

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[anarchyrpbook]

LIGHTS OUT a roleplay sentence meme with various quotes and sentences taken from navessa allen's lights out. feel free to tweak as needed. content warning: foul language

shit, i just accidentally deleted the text.

sir, i’m at work, how dare you?

i would like to thank the algorithm for bringing me here.

i’m on season six of this video.

well, this has me feeling feral far too early in the morning.

sorry if i fuck this up.

you’re looking pretty pasty lately.

quit now while you’re ahead.

how do i find someone from social media?

what would you do if i said yes?

i need so much more therapy than i’m currently getting.

i know you’re reading these messages, you bastard. i can see the read receipts.

who hurt you like this? give me a name and address, and i’ll take care of it.

when i say i would forgive this man for literally anything.

forgive him, you monster.

so this is what jealous rage feels like.

how’s it feel to be the most hated woman on the internet right now?

if you don’t want him, i’ll take him.

insomnia is kicking my ass this week.

no touchy. still angry.

don’t misconstrue this. this isn’t for you.

it feels a little like it’s for me.

aww, our first official fight.

bad boys don’t get rewarded.

gee, i wonder who could have done such a dastardly thing?

you do snore real cute - like a chipmunk with a cold. wheeze, wheeze, siiiigh.

you shouldn’t have. i mean that literally, but i’m grateful anyway.

it’s… i don’t know exactly how to describe it. good isn’t the right word. rewarding might be better.

i see you’ve been reading my comments.

what was it you said yesterday? this isn’t for you?

i brought it in here to eat in front of you while mocking your hunger.

our baby angel did absolutely nothing wrong, and i resent the insinuation that he ever could.

you are so presumptuous!

i noticed how you look at me and decided not to fight your inevitable claiming.

me? what the fuck did i do?

you better be joking, or we are about to have our second fight.

we are 100% about to have our second fight.

death is nothing new to me, i see it on a weekly basis.

i’m more fucked up over not being fucked up, if that makes sense.

pull over, we’re breaking up. let me out.

thank fucking god there’s someone in your life to take some of your weirdness off my hands.

finally, someone to take some of the burden of his love off my shoulders.

turn me towards him so i can kick him.

your face is about to have a misunderstanding with my fist.

bet you twenty bucks i can get one of them to laugh before the end of the night.

we are not going to tear out of anywhere. we’ll leave at a non-suspicious speed.

our fearless leader just face-planted into a rhododendron.

you should have gone with them, even if it put me at risk.

that isn’t how this works, you don’t get to sacrifice yourself for me.

i’ll find a place with low lighting and a table in the back where no one but our server will see us.

i knew i shouldn’t have said anything. you’re going to be insufferable now, aren’t you?

either way, get in. it’s as cold as a nun’s twat out here.

next time, try saying something about what a nice arse i have.

stop trying to infantilize him because he makes you feel weird in the tummy.

picture me holding a toddler in one arm, and a baby in the other.

[slimyalienfreak]

Hey, man 🧍‍♀️

How are you? I hope your doing well 👍🏽

Anyways, I got somewhat of a good request… I think..?

Alright, so imagine Reader was friends with I hate you Luigi and Mario. Reader was friends with the brothers before the events of I hate you (Where Luigi fell into lava and burned.) Even though everyone loved Mario Reader always preferred Luigi more. Luigi feels extremely grateful that at-least someone didn’t compare him to his brother and actually cared about him but this wasn’t enough for Luigi so he teamed up with Bowser without telling Reader. The events of I hate you happen and Mario comes back with Princess Peach. Reader is wondering where Luigi is. Reader asks Mario where Luigi was and Mario tells Reader that it’s best if they don’t know. Which leaves Reader even more confused and is now worried that something happened to their friend Luigi.

(You can decide if Reader and IHY Luigi get to see each other again.)

(Also this is more of a platonic fic than a romantic one and also can you use She/They pronouns pls.)

In addition if you can’t do this request then have some random images from my phone gallery 🧍 and have a great day/afternoon/night…

Burning Memory

(IHY!Luigi x Reader) (Platonic)

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

I’m doing great hope you’re doing great as well. Honestly ever since I’ve started playing any sort of Mario games I’ve always had a preference over Luigi rather than Mario (Although I love Mario just as much). If Luigi was a playable character I would always choose him that’s how much I love him (Thanks for the photos as well).

Also I tried to make this as angsty as I could because I’m in that mood lol. Anyways hope you like this. ~Blaze/Dawn

Pronouns: She/They

Warning: ⚠️Death/Murder + Spoilers for the creepypasta/game⚠️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Luigi + Mario + Peach + Mentions of Bowser

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by Mario Madness Crew (???) + Banner by aerineey (Edited By Me) on Pinterest

———————————

- The Mario bros. Everyone knows them and everyone loves them, especially you. You pretty much had the luck of getting to know the brothers and eventually became friends with them. Honestly you admire the two especially the taller brother Luigi however you seemed to notice that people had more of a preference over Mario practically ignoring his younger brother presence. But you didn’t pay much attention to them and mostly focused your attention on him.

- Honestly when Luigi saw how much attention his brother was getting compared to him it really hurt him. Why weren’t people praising him? He helped as well, why didn't he get the recognition as well? What did Mario have that he didn’t? They were practically the same. All those questions were running through his mind but before they got too extreme they managed to get cut off by you. The only person who seemed to acknowledge his skills. That was the only reason he had to keep going despite what was going on. Being around you was the only reason he didn’t snap and do whatever at least for now.

- You had no idea about how he was feeling about the whole ordeal with his brother, mostly because he didn’t express them to you. Why didn’t he do it? You honestly had no idea but you definitely would’ve assumed he was at least a little bit upset. I mean who wouldn’t. But when you try to see what was matter he just played his emotions off to a recent adventure he had. But regardless of the reason you made sure to cheer him up which he appreciates. But eventually although he does get noticed by you he got tired of being in Mario’s shadow and decided to risk it and join the bad guy himself Bowser.

- He didn’t tell pretty much anyone that he joined bowser because obviously he doesn’t think that people would care enough about him so why should he care but when it came to you he mostly didn’t tell you out of guilt. I mean he’s only doing this to get the recognition that he wants just like his brother but he’s getting some from you so why wasn’t it enough for him? He just wants to be loved by people even if it means that he has to join the bad guy he and his own brother have fought the princess for. What was personally to him the hardest part about this wasn’t how his brother may feel about this, he was sort of the reason why he was in this situation to begin with even if he wasn’t aware of it. He was more worried about your reaction to it. He was thinking things like ‘she’s been there for me when I’ve felt down’ and ‘they’re been treating me the way I wanted so why isn't it enough?’. Honestly deep down he knows that this may be wrong but he feels as if he doesn’t have a choice. If he wants to be seen just like Mario then he’ll have to be the bad guy even if it means he has to hurt people that deeply care about him.

- Eventually though everyone does have a reaching point that causes them to snap and unfortunately it happened to Luigi. One day it was a regular adventure for Mario, focusing on rescuing Peach once again from Bowser’s grasp but today was different. Once he arrived at the castle she was trapped in but instead of being confronted by him he was confronted by his own brother which ended up turning into a fight and ended in the younger brother being burnt to death in the lava he was knocked into. Mario didn’t want to do it and he didn’t mean to; he just needed to defend himself but ended up killing his own brother in the process. Although he was betrayed by his brother and had the right to feel angry at him. All he could feel was upset about what happened and how it had to end. Despite the reasons for why Luigi decided join bowser he was regardless his brother he cared for, after wiping the tears that were rolling down his cheeks as he witnessed his brother being engulfed by the lava he had no choice but to go on and accept the fact that he killed Luigi roam his mind for the rest of the time he will be alive for. Eventually Peach noticed the sadness that appeared in Mario and he had no choice but to tell her what happened and of course she was upset as well. She pretty much has known Luigi as long as she did with Mario so this came to a surprise for her as well. All she could do was cry herself with her head in her hands as Mario just stood there starting to cry again himself before the both of them returned back to her castle.

- Mario knew that he should tell you about what happened to Luigi. He noticed that you happened to be closer towards his younger brother compared to him and honestly he didn’t mind it, he was just glad that Luigi had someone to rely on but now that he was dead you had the right to know but he just couldn’t. He knows he should but he just couldn’t.

+ You were made aware of Mario needing to rescue Peach again and assumed that Luigi would be joining him as well. How many times will it take for Bowser to get the hint and leave them alone? After wishing him good luck you had no choice but to wait patiently knowing that Mario would win once again and you were right but unfortunately you would learn some unfortunate news, well sort of. As you heard Mario and Peach return you immediately went up and greeted them however you quickly noticed something. They both seemed upset about something but what was it? Then you noticed something else “where’s Luigi?” You managed to speak up wanting to know what happened to your friend but you met with silence which only worried you more “I’m sorry [Name] I can’t say” Mario somehow managed to say while choking back some tears before leaving you alone with Peach who herself was holding back tears. You couldn’t understand what caused the two of them to be this upset. Obviously something must have happened to him but why weren’t they telling you? You started to get slightly pissed but not outright and also upset. Even Peach herself asked Mario “Mario you should tell her you know” she said, she understands how you feel she also happened to be close towards Luigi as well. She really thinks that Mario should at least hint at what happened to Luigi “I’m sorry Peach but I can’t tell her, I just can’t.” Mario replied back “I know it must be hard to comprehend and it’s not your fault but they deserved to know what happened to him. They’re the closest to him out of all of us.” Peach reassured him but Mario couldn’t say anything else. She has a point and he knows that but why couldn’t he do it? But after much bugging and not receiving an answer you had no choice but to give up. Pretty much accepting that he’s missing and that you might not see him again.

- It definitely felt weird not having Luigi around. He was actually really nice to be around, especially you. You don’t understand what could’ve happened to him. Even if wasn’t recognised widely still you didn’t understand who would have an outing for him. You ended up excluding yourself from others minus Mario and Peach but even then you didn’t see them much.

- But even with the thought that he was missing you just couldn’t shake it off that he was somehow alive. You know him too well although a bit reclusive himself he wouldn’t just die, he would keep up a fight even if it takes some encouragement for him to do so. So you decided to try to at least find him even if by the time you found him he was actually dead. You decided to go to the last place Mario was and it just so happened to be where Peach was last captured and went there without letting Mario or Peach know where you were going. Although it was a little nerve wrecking going out alone, you decided to risk it if it meant that you could see your friend again.

+ After some time you managed to arrive at the castle and entered it. You felt a cold wave of air flow right past you immediately sending a shiver down your spine. “It’s really quiet here…” you said to yourself. Although this place had no reason to have anything in it you would’ve at least expected to hear some boo’s at least. You managed to arrive in a room and the cold was immediately replaced with heat. You looked down to see lava and immediately cautioned yourself to be careful unless you wanted to fall into it, as you kept walking you saw some sort of being not that far in front of you. Although you were happy that at least someone else was here you still needed to be careful of yourself. Little did you know that the man in front of you was Luigi himself.

+ Ever since his death Luigi had pretty much been forced to stay in the castle that he last saw his brother and pretty much everyone else. All that he could feel was anger and hurt. Anger that he managed to get beaten by his brother and of course hurt because he literally got burned to death. But he also felt lonely. He didn’t want to feel this but since it was just him eventually he was going to start feeling it at some point. All he could do was get lost in his thoughts about things that happened before his inevitable demise. But he was snapped out of his thoughts by something or rather someone. He heard something and immediately assumed the worst. Maybe it was his brother wanting more or maybe trying to convince him that he didn’t mean to throw him into the lava. He could already feel himself getting angry again. He wanted to yell at someone for what happened to him. Blaming anyone for the reason he ended up like this, he stood up causing the person which ended up being you to freeze. He started preparing to send them away but as soon as he took in the moment to process who was in the same room as him he immediately froze himself. Unless he was hallucinating you were right in front of him. “[Name], is that you?” He spoke up in shock.

+ At first you couldn’t recognise him, I mean yeah it sounded like him although a little groggily and yes he was wearing his clothes although they had some holes in them but it was kind of hard to piece that it was him due to him being pretty much burnt to no recognition. If it wasn’t for him calling your name you wouldn’t have known it was him. “[Name], please tell me that it’s you?” He said once again just wanting a sign that it was actually you and that he wasn’t seeing things. “Yeah it is..” you managed to speak up but slightly teary “Luigi, what the hell happened to you?” You quietly spoke, it hurt seeing him like this. His skin had practically melted off. He changed physically that it felt weird seeing him. He wasn’t able to say something, he wanted to but he was starting to get caught up in his emotions. As much as he hated everyone he couldn’t find himself to hate you. In reality he knew he couldn’t hate you. You were his only friend all this time, even now although it took a while you eventually found him again which proved that you still cared about him. He walked up closer to you slightly limping before bringing you into a hug. At first it felt weird hugging him, his body felt oddly leathery. You managed to hug him back before hearing a slight whimpering coming from him. Before you knew it you started to hear him cry. “…[Name]” All he could say through his tears was your name causing you to tear up yourself. He didn’t care that he felt slight pain due to his burnt skin being touched by you. All he cared about was just being in your arms after being lonely for so long. You could feel your heart breaking hearing Luigi cry, although you’ve seen him upset you haven’t seen him this upset and actually crying right in front of you. You tried to move slightly so you could look at him directly but he quickly tightened the hug not wanting you to move. “…please, please don’t leave me [Name]…” he said in between his sobs thinking that you were trying to leave. You decided to save your questions for later, you could tell he needed this even though you had no idea what happened between his demise and now so you let him cry his heart out until he was ready to tell you what happened. For now you and ended in a tight felt hug not letting go until the both of you got your feelings out and managed to catch up with each other.

———————————

[yuseirra]

Hello~ I have something to say because there's been something that's been on my mind, leaving me very depressed and concerned for the past couple months. I've been trying my best to be cheerful and uplifting but it's hurting me so much I just can't stand it...I have to be true to myself and let it all out, I feel like a stone's being pushed onto my chest, and I won't feel better without addressing it somewhere, so please pardon me, okay?

I'd been drawing a lot of project moon's fanworks earlier, remember how there's been an incident regarding limbus company and the artist being fired and whatnot? and then there's this stuff going about how fingers are drawn in maplestory, I have no idea about the details but something happened in arknights?? too? I don't play that game but still, well I'd been seeing a lot of these stuff happen for the past couple of months and since I come from a country where that's directly being taken place, I saw a lot of it happen firsthand except for some recent ones, it made me to go terminate my twitter which I had for a decade (I think I had it since 2013 or 2014. not that it matters now anyway, but I miss my friends I had there so much.)

I'm really hurt. It pains me so much to see people dig up a tweet someone's made several years ago using some kind of data crawler or archive and decide to get the mass to bring down a person over it, a person has many sides, how can you determine how exactly someone's feeling about something? and how can it lead to things like death threats, how can people be so eager to make someone "pay", I understand that people can be frustrated over some things, but where's the limit of these things? I felt so threatened and scared and upset, nothing bad's happened to me in person. All I've experienced is kindness and I am very grateful about it, but I can't say I'm not affected. Seeing a lot of things going around secondhand's been enough to put me through a lot of stress.

Some of my videos regarding projmoon's works had been very popular, you may have seen them if you're in the fandom! I used to be very proud of it. Now I'm upset and scared and I am pained, why can't I be as proud of them as I used to be, I put all my love into it back then. It's a terrible feeling. I have mixed feelings about having it up on my channel.. there's a part of me who love my works a lot.. and is happy about it having been able to give a lot of people joy. People have been enjoying it, and they've all been so kind about it. And then there's another part of me wishing I never made it in the first place because it really hurts and I'm reminded of these incidents whenever I see them. Which is such a pity, since I did a really great job with those. I'm still getting new comments with people telling me they are so impressed and all I could think about now is the.. all the, I don't know what to call all that..,

I'm scared that people might come after me and accuse of me being someone I am not, try to dig up my old tweets and find me problematic for doing something unfavorable for the fandom(not that I've said or done anything harmful in the past, I'm sure of that..I've ALWAYS tried my best to spread love when I could. I am confident about that.) maybe I'm being full of myself. Maybe people don't care about me or my works as much and I'll be okay but I have no idea how things will play out. I've been holding out till now, no one can say I didn't try..the fact that I've been keeping my works up there, I've been trying very hard to be strong in my own way (but at the same time I also felt like a coward for remaining in the status quo)

earlier I saw yt recommending me that library of ruina is getting a switch edition and I get reminded of all these stuff, I can't bear it. It hurts me so much. I've been holding this all in by myself since last july, maybe I'll have to take the videos down to make me feel better, but I'm not sure if I'll be safe that way. I deleted my twitter and now it comes to this, I won't delete my tumblr though. I love my experience as yuseirra and I'm happy for all I've received. I wish I could continue feeling that way, I want to believe in people, I want to care for them, and I don't want to think people will try to come after me and hurt me over the choices I make. So let me be strong, whatever I do, I'll do my best to be that way.

Thank you very much!! Lots of love!!

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

Virche the game of all time

There are a thousand different things i want to talk about in just my first route playthrough of epic:lycoris BUT can i just say right now what a well written INFP Ceres is.

(an analysis by a fellow INFP)

Major spoilers for Scien's Encore route - the woman loved by God ending

Her ability to adapt emotionally to the circumstances. She accepts her fate easily, listening carefully to Scien's plans about using her: she puts her feelings aside because she trusts his genius. She's more than able to understanding the depth of the situation and to prioritize the logic, and she's quick to find a personal reason to listen to tie to that logic: for the sake of the people she loves, her death will have reason. She readily sacrifices herself. And because she feels at peace with that fate, she's able to smile. She feels thankful towards the God-like man who will give her life (and her death) such big meaning (something infps long for). Because if she tries to escape, she would either be captured by someone who is after personal gain, or Mother and Yves and the others will be at a serious risk trying to save her - for what? So she can bring more death to everyone who comes near her, until she finds her own end? She knows she'll leave them devastated with the fate she accepted, but the ultimate goal outweighs it easily, again in the name of these same people she holds close. And she believes in her resolve so strongly that it becomes her happiness, that's why she seems like she's romanticising her last days. That's why she's doing little favors for Scien, taking care of him (acts of service typical for infp), because she holds a great gratefulness towards him, but also because she wants to return the good feelings he unintentionally made her experience. That's why she can wholeheartedly say it out loud in her last moments, "I love you, Scien! Please use me!" (The verbal expression being something infps place a great importance in, she saves it for the critical moment)

She also accepts that he could never return those feelings - she's undoubtedly smart enough to understand how unrealistic that would be, but she doesn't need him to reciprocate either - this is another infp trait: It's not uncommon for INFPs to hold onto crushes without any expectations for the future. For them it's more important how they themselves feel about it. Most people hate the difficult processing of feelings that comes with having a crush on someone who might not love you back, but INFPs actually don't mind being ruled by those emotions. They like living it out in their own head (typically lost in fantasies), seeing the effects it takes on them, like becoming more energetic, creative, attentive. For them love is a positive emotion no matter unrequited or not. That's why Ceres finds strength in her love for Scien.

ANYWAYS i have more to say but I'll end it here. Love you Ceres 🫶

[acourtofthought]

There is a place in the Hewn City.....

.... the Hewn City whose cruelty bothers Elain........

There was a place in the Court of Nightmares where even Keir and his elite squadron of Darkbringers did not dare tread. Once the Night Court’s enemies entered that place, they did not come out. Not alive, anyway.

There is a place in the Hewn City, whose cruelty bothers Elain, where even the worst in the Hewn City do not dare tread....

You know who does though?

Once the Night Court’s enemies entered that place, they did not come out. Not alive, anyway. Most of what remained of their bodies didn’t leave, either. Those went through the hatch in the center of the circular room—and into the pit of writhing beasts below. To their scales and claws and merciless hunger. The beasts did not feed often; they could receive a body every ten years and make it last, going into hibernation between meals. The trickling blood of the two Autumn Court males through the black stone floor’s grate woke them. Their snarls and hisses, their snapping tails and scraping claws should have incentivized the males chained to the chairs to talk. Azriel leaned against the wall by the lone door, Truth-Teller bloody in his hand. Cassian, a step beside him, and Feyre, on Az’s other side, watched as Rhys and Amren approached the two males.

the male bleeding from places Azriel knew would hurt but not kill. Az knew where to slice up a male without letting him bleed out. Knew how to make this last for days.

Cassian knew Rhys was asking about the torture—apologizing for making Feyre witness even the ten minutes Azriel had worked.

But Feyre, Cassian knew, had been aware of what she’d see before entering. And well aware that these ten minutes had only been the opening movements in a symphony of pain that Azriel could conduct with brutal efficiency.

Cassian shut out the thought of all the males whom he hadn’t left standing—who all had worried families as well. Every death had a weight, sent a ripple into the world, into time. It was too easy to forget that. He glanced to Az, but his brother’s face was stone-cold. If Az regretted what they’d done, he revealed no hint of it. Cassian tucked in his wings. “We’ll be as fast as we can.”

They left the males in the room, blood still trickling down to the writhing beasts.

If the cruelty of the Hewn City bothers Elain and there is an even worse place within the Hewn City where the residents and leaders of the Hewn City do not dare to go but the IC (and especially Azriel) do in order to torture others through extremely cruel means than tell me how Elain is going to be fine with that?

I've seen so many posts where readers claim Elain is fine with what Az does, that she already knows (even though the bonus chapter specifically tells us she does not) or won't care. But if Feyre is bothered by it and Feyre has shown to be more morally gray (not to mention married to Rhys!) than Elain, then I honestly want to know why anyone is trying to sweep Elain's feelings about cruelty under the rug? Should she have to sacrifice what she's comfortable with just to force E/riels puzzle pieces together? Saying that love is all that matters so Elain will just come to accept something that goes against her beliefs and values?

This is not the same thing as an Archeron being uncomfortable around their mate at the start of their journey because they're fighting their hidden feelings (as we saw with both Feyre and Nesta), it's something that makes up Elain's personality as an individual outside of any love interest, a part that someone who claims to like her should respect.

[teotalksaboutstuff]

Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2: Episodes 3, 4, and 5

Episode 3

-so no teruko traitor reveal? pog 

-monotv’s incompetence makes him my favorite host of any killing game. reminds me a lot of danganronpa: safety’s on, basically DR1 but Monokuma is about as incompetent as MonoTV is. it’s a great read, highly reccommended.

-teruko being bad at caulking a bathroom is so me. also of course monotv isn’t going to reveal the information but him not knowing it himself is interesting.

-hey, nice caulk.

-people changing clothes being this big thing is very funny

-charles’ straight up phobia of blood is uh... there’s clearly something deeper going on here

-teruko, put the fucking knife away. as much as it’s within reason that you’d be this paranoid, this does make you look like you are trying to murder Charles here, at least to him.

-id love to know whose motive Charles had, now that Teruko’s got it.

-loving charles and teruko actually being friends of some sort now that their positions have basically reversed since chapter 1.

-Chiteruko? i actually like the idea of those three as a polycule and want to see more whit/teruko interactions.

-MonoTV jumping on charles XD

-teruko playing with cacti i literally cannot???? best scene in chapter 2 by FAR

-living for the eden jumpscare here

-THE EDEN GREMLIN SPRITE MAKES ITS APPEARANCE. GOD I LOVE HER.

-Eden’s hope speech is also iconic. Her knowing the world is kinda fucked but still being kind anyways is something Teruko clearly needed to hear.

Episode 4

-what is the tea

-the gurlz are fighting

-naur

-teruko sandwich duck face

-ace markey, the ultimate allistic

-by all rules of danganronpa arei should have died here, and i am so grateful monotv isn’t competent enough to actually enforce the rules but at the same time is arei the mastermind? ofc he wouldn’t kill the mastermind.

-veronika living for the fights is also very me

-’you’ve been acting jerkishly as well’ eden she is literally being deadnamed and STALKED are you blind. J is 100% in the right here.

-nico fucking roasting ace is funny, and i get why he’d think its constructive criticism because i too am autistic and would think much the same.

-see, veronika gets it

-when death threats are the only way to properly resolve an argument

-arei lashing out at monotv is iconic tbh

-jesus christ arei yeah that reaction is a sensible one given your circumstances

-”hey, just so you know, failed hanging attempts are pretty painful” teruko wtf, im not entirely sure how that was intended to be helpful?

-we know what the tea is

-the gurlz are still fighting

-naur

-teruko has 99 problems and these bitchez aren’t about to be number 100

-charles making cucumber flowers is iconic

-DAVID YES YOU STEP IN THERE AND HELP THEM

-yeah people are gonna be... super hesitant about the motive secret thing, and teruko defo needs to talk to the person whose motive was originally charles’ as well as rose, whose she has

-see, j at least has the decency to ask the person before telling their secret

-eden has a dude’s motive secret evidently, maybe levi’s? that would be significant.

-who is the someone they’re inviting

Episode 5

-Arei’s typical ew reaction to everything, unsurprising. Makes sense she’d want to talk about motive though given her position.

-Granted leaving Arei out was before Xander died but nO AREI YOU ARE BECOMING A WORSE TERUKO LIKE AM I THE ONLY ONE NOTICING THE PARALLEL HERE OR AM I SEEING THEM WHERE THERE ARENT ANY?

-Teruko’s reaction being what it is does not surprise me.

-MORE AREI GREMLIN SPRITES WOOT

-oh wow arei actually wasn’t bluffing when she said she had nothing to hide

-is _ illegal nahhhh let arei be a girlboss yall just dont want to see women win

-teruko please stop acting as if you have any moral high ground here 

-i mean unless something like this happened to you then thats another matter entirely

-the true arei trauma dump. contextualizes literally everything about her in a way that actually makes me fascinated with her as a wonderfully complex character. 

-naturally this would develop into a philosophy where kindness is weakness, yeah

-DAVREI??? FUCK YES I SHIP IT!!

-ah, rose time

-yass art therapy, but i can understand why teruko was so freaked out by it

-in all fairness i dont know how you would respond to someone saying the stuff rose was about teruko

-TERUKO THATS LIKE SAYING I HATE YOU TO AN ARTIST?? LIKE CMON TERUKO YOU ARE MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DEFEND YOU THIS CHAPTER

-naturally, rose is fine with the secret coming out. she even has her own trauma dump scene with teruko

-i mean we been knew that teruko didn’t actually mean any of that and now rose maybe does?

-nico was mother for that tbh

-please don’t forget him down there ;-;

-the implication that nico actually likes the teruko gore art is an interesting one

-loving how nico wants rose to teach him painting omg

[severus-snaps]

I was messing around in the tags but I'm on my phone so they kept messing up so here I am instead with a ramble

I'd not thought about it before like this and I obvs love snape but you're so right

From Snape's perspective, perhaps he could've felt like:

Lily bushed off his near death experience (the Prank) and sided with the people who conspired to kill him and told him to be grateful to James (when they were supposedly not even friends and she didn't like the Marauders; suspicious)

Abandoned him during SWM, leaving James to (most likely) expose him in front of a crowd

Putting myself in the shoes of Snape for a moment I wonder whether he'd have been like "ffs Lily, would it kill you to agree to the date so he leaves me alone and we can spike his butterbeer when you get there with poison a laxative"

He waited at night outside the Gryffindor common room to apologise, risking running into a teacher and getting detention or even a round 2 with the Marauders themselves

His apology is not accepted * so he feels rejected and hurt and alone, and betrayed in a way. Only a few months ago she'd said they were best friends and she didn't like the Marauders, and couldn't she see he was suffering in that moment?

Lily hears about the full extent of SWM after she left, and months/a year later starts dating James anyway - and presumably is good friends with Sirius and the others as well, since Sirius is later Harry's godfather and Peter is Secret Keeper. (Added just for evidence of their closeness; I don't believe Snape didn't know either of these things? At least not until he'd already defected. Anyway)

Lily is now "best friends" with the same Sirius who attempted to murder Snape because he was annoying

The same James who wanted to strip Snape in front of a crowd because he existed

And with Remus, who didn't stop them and Snape thought wanted to kill or turn him into a werewolf too. With Peter, who cheered them on.

And all of them probably said and did much more over the years than was written; mocking Snape was like their favourite pastime when they were bored

James continues to hex Snape. Snape presumably must think that Lily is also in on this information, and laughing behind the scenes.

Maybe he thinks they were friends before and she never admitted it; that's why she was so blasé about the werewolf murder attempt

THE BETRAYAL

*I'm curious other people's thoughts on whether he actually said Mudblood a lot and Lily just ignored it until it affected her (unlikely to me, she seemed a bit of a firecracker and had no qualms calling out James or Snape for their bad behaviour, or teasing Slughorn, etc) or whether he was newly hanging around the likes of Mulciber and THEY said it a lot so she lumped him in, like she was being hyperbolic and it was the first time Snape had ever said it and it was because he was hanging around Mulciber etc she just assumed. Not strictly related, but I imagine he'd have been annoyed if it was the latter and he thought she'd made him out to be a worse person than he was

And then, once Snape is a fresh new recruit for Voldemort, gathering intel and the like, he has even more reasons (as you say) to not stick his neck out for Lily:

She's Muggleborn, which is like... Voldemort's whole deal

She's the mother of the boy destined to destroy Voldemort, and she's on his #1 hit list

She'd made it clear (in Snape's eyes) that she didn't care for Snape's life and that their friendship didn't mean that much to her (certainly nowhere near as much as it meant to him)

He didn't spread any anti-Lily thoughts among the other DEs, otherwise it might have gotten back to Peter (who presumably had no qualms about giving up the Potters once they latently implemented the Fidelius, and could've done something else nasty in that timeframe), or harm Lily himself before all of the Prophecy stuff.

He still went to Dumbledore, who he thought might kill him - to save someone who had hurt and rejected him.

I expect if Lily hadn't been targeted it would've taken longer for him to defect. But Bellatrix said he always slithered out of action, and she'd only been out of Azkaban for a bit when she said it, so "always" also means when he was FIRST a Death Eater.

Through all the books Snape is cruel but he very rarely resorts to violence, and then only out of retaliation or defence when he's attacked (or once when even REMUS was attacked), the only exception being when he lost his mind at the end of the chapter of SWM because Harry invaded his privacy and broke their thin sense of trust.

So, in short, I think he would've defected anyway eventually, once being asked to do something he couldn't stomach and couldn't slither out of.

"If the Longbottoms were targeted, Snape would still be a DE!"

Ah, yes, one of the favourite arguments of the average Snater (because of course it's reasonable to call him evil over something that never happened).

But let's, for argument's sake, say that the Longbottoms were targeted, and the Potters were never targeted (because no matter how or why, if Lily was in danger the events would play out as they do in canon. Only with perhaps a dead Neville instead).

Okay, so he wouldn't stick his neck out for the Longbottoms. Why would he? He wouldn't know who they are, why would he risk his life to save theirs?

But does that mean he'd have been the most loyal DE ever?

I don't think so.

In fact, I personally believe he would have always betrayed Voldemort. Why?

The very fact that he betrayed him for someone who'd already turned her back on him once, then married his abuser, and who was a muggleborn. By all accounts, he had every right to actually want revenge and request them to be tortured. He and Lily weren't friends. She's the one who ended his friendship, therefore the one who hurt him. And she's a muggleborn. Someone who was truly a DE would have wanted her extra tortured.

They wouldn't go all the way to Dumbledore to ask for her life. And certainly wouldn't promise anything in exchange for it.

So to me, the fact that he had it in him to betray Voldemort for her sake despite how much he had to lose to do so says that he was never truly Voldemort's and it was just as much about saving himself from Voldemort.

So to me, that says that even if Lily wasn't a target, Snape would have still betrayed Voldemort at some point if given the chance to do so, if something happened that would finally spur him to have the courage to betray him.

[9teenninety5]

(plz don’t read this bc it’s embarrassing to post vulnerable personal crap on the internet but this is my personal blog and dammit i want to shout into the void.. anyway) someone close to me said something a couple of months ago while we were having a conversation about her life and it stuck with me in regards to mine because it was a perspective that i’d not heard but it was absolutely true. she said the opposite of love is not hate, it’s apathy. and today i have been going over and over in my head what caused me the most pain in my past relationship and it was the apathy i lived with everyday. sure, the big hateful moments hit like a ton of bricks, and usually those explosions came when he had to acknowledge my hurt and it enraged him, but at least i was being acknowledged. he truly just hated acknowledging me. i only existed for short periods of time: if he was hungry. if he needed a ride to the store. if he needed someone to vent to. if he needed a warm body to watch a movie with. if he needed someone to unleash his anger on. if he needed someone to blame for everything that went wrong in his life. and at best, if he was sober and completing his weekly chore of spending a Sunday afternoon with me. he only ever saw me as a chore or pain in the ass. or he simply never saw me at all. the indifference was a slow and agonizing death. there was no interest in aiding me to become the best version of myself because how i was doing never even crossed his mind. that’s not what he wanted in a relationship. i tried to push him to be the best version of himself but he didn’t want that either. my role was to enable and clean up the mess. and the messes never stopped. it was overwhelming but i couldn’t go to him with my stress or sadness. if i wasn’t happy i was a “bitch”. there was no accountability for what he was doing that made me unhappy. he’d frame it “if i’m that bad then leave”. and the gut-wrenching pain of realizing i could be thrown out easier than the trash made me believe i was, in fact, of less value than trash. i stayed because i *cared* about him. because i *loved* him. he only “loved” me for short periods of time when he thought he could lose the benefits of me. he didn’t care about losing the person i am, but instead the things i could offer. i was a great partner, and even then, i could’ve been an even better one had he allowed our relationship to progress but he just wanted to stay the same and i had essentially become a living ghost. just like him. so i walked away for what seemed like the hundredth time, but this time i knew i couldn’t ever go back to that same recipe of destruction. the opposite of love is apathy. i could’ve been anybody. i was just filling a role. and ouch what an ache. but in my healing and growth i can understand that it’s not because i wasn’t worth caring about. i was, always have been, and always will be worth caring about. it wasn’t personal, he just wasn’t capable. it’s as terribly simple as that. i’ve now learned the invaluable lesson of just how vital it is to care about yourself, to avoid letting anyone make you feel like your existence isn’t even worth acknowledging. i fucking matter. and i am proving that to myself by protecting my peace and going to therapy and facing the hard stuff. my soul is grateful for it and if i die tomorrow, i die fighting the good fight, which is all i could ever want in terms of being proud of the life i lived. so to make a long story short: to love is to care. to not care is to not love. and there is nothing more detrimental to this world than a bunch of human beings who never cared about themselves and spread that onto others by showing them that they don’t matter either which then spreads to nature and the earth itself. the world *needs* love in order to keep going. i choose love. fck apathy.

[levantea]

Eternity | hyunjin

Pairing: hyunjin x y/n

Genre: fluff, slight angst, strangers to lovers au

Rating: PG

Warning: none

Word Count: 2.73k

Synopsis: “From a stranger to someone i can’t stop thinking about.”

What does it feel like to have your birthday be your parent’s death day as well?

Should you celebrate your birthday? Or should you mourn their death day? Or can you do both?

Whenever the day falls on 20th March, you experience 2 extreme emotions — grief and gratefulness. It is traumatic enough to recall the deadly accident when you were 5, leaving you homeless because you lost your closest kin. However, you are also blessed enough that God decides to give you a second chance to live on, continuing your parent’s legacy.

Since then, you have been sent to the orphanage to mingle with other kids as you don’t have any relatives that you know of can ‘adopt’ you in. Living in that place would neither be in heaven nor hell, summarising it as a shelter that provides all the basic necessities that a human or a kid needs. Making friends was not a hassle as all of you can resonate with one another, but it will definitely be better if you can leave and stand on your own as you grow older.

Even though no one was there to instil the proper morals and values in you, you still managed to equip yourself with all the crucial soft skills that helped you leave the orphanage at the age of 18. Maybe God is trying to compensate you, you managed to find 2 stable part-time jobs that provide you with sufficient allowance to pay for rent, bills, school fees after applying for the bursary.

As you wish, living on your own is way better than staying in that place as you can do whatever you want, except the fact that there’s no one by your side. It’s okay anyway, it’s not like you have people supporting you from your childhood till now and being alone doesn’t sound as scary as losing someone you love.

No love, no pain.

Bringing back to your birthday, which is today, you never find it a day where you get to enjoy privileges such as — going out to celebrate or resting from work. Life still goes on as normal as it feels wrong to celebrate your birthday, smiling happily when your parents pass on on the same day.

“It’s stupid, nobody is going to blame you for it, your parents are more than happy to know you are living year by year safely and you should be happy,” that’s what your closest friends that you made when you started working and studying.

What they say isn’t wrong, but it feels guilty to be happy when you are supposed to mourn for them. You always ended up cutting a small cake on your own at the side of a river, enjoying the night breeze on your own while holding onto a purple tulip on your hand, the other for your parents.

And you thought this year would be the same routine until someone appeared that changed your life.

“y/n! Why don’t you take a break for today? Go out, get some air, breathe, treat yourself something nice because it’s your day,” your manager patted your shoulders as you wiped off the remaining sweat on your forehead. You shook your head and mouthed it’s fine until your manager placed her finger over your lips, hushing and assuring you that it’s totally okay to give yourself a break and do something you like.

Your manager sees all the effort in you as you started working till now. Compared to other teens around the same age as you, you are on the next level of hardworking, which earned other senior’s staff respect. All of them treated you very well, especially your manager. Bonds are built across these 2 years, and she always views you as her sister, offering advice and support from you whenever you needed.

Raising the white flag, you accepted your kind manager’s offer to leave early and left the workplace. Wandering on the streets, you window shop your way down the pavement until you see a floral shop sitting at the turning point before the junction.

“Right, I need to buy this,” you nodded to yourself as you remembered the first item on your ’20 Mar’ to-do list — buying purple tulips. Entering the shop, the florist warmly greeted you as she shared the newly ins.

Not trying to be rude, you nod your head slightly as you listen to her sharing while your eyes are fixated on those purple flowers situated at the corner of the shop. It looks incredibly gorgeous and fresh today, as if waiting for you to come over and claim them until the staff pulled your attention back.

“So which one will you be getting?” she looked at you with wide and glowing eyes, expecting you to pick one of those she mentioned earlier until you pointed at your choice. Her smile faded a bit but soon regained them, probing you.

“Today is your birthday?” her tone softened as she watched you nod, walking over to your side and asking how many do you want. In the past years, you only bought 2, but you decided to add one more in your own house this year, spicing up your dull-looking home.

Hugging onto the 3 purple tulips in your arms, you changed your direction at the next junction to visit the road where the accident took place 15 years ago.

You overestimated your ability to get over the car crash after a good decade and a half. Mental preparation is something you need to equip yourself with, but it always shattered to pieces when your eyes caught the familiar road again.

Road signs, traffic, lamp posts, shophouses, they never changed.

Pieces of awful memories started gushing back into your brain as you clutched your chest. Your body and heart still inevitably clenched and stings when you recall yourself lying in the car, blood oozing out of your head and legs as you cried for help. The sight of your parents getting pierced by sharp materials that were imprinted in your head made you fall on your knees, suffocating as your tears started to drip.

Passers-by were commenting at the weird sight of you as if you got possessed, unknown to the tragic past you had that nobody wished it would happen on them. Taking a harsh deep breath, you stood up again as you walked closer to the destination, squeezing your eyes shut while trying to shove all the negative memories away.

“Mum and dad, I’m here,” you forced a few words under your breath, gently placing one of the purple tulips against one of the trees while channelling the rest of your heartfelt messages through your voice in your mind.

The sky is getting darker and you wouldn’t want to stay at that traumatic place further. Your feet just wanted to pull you away and you are not in the right state of mind to think where you want to go next.

“Be careful!” the next moment you realised was you had been harshly pulled by someone and into his embrace and your senses are finally back. “Are you crazy?! That was so dangerous of you! You could have been knocked by the lorry if I was 2 seconds slower!”

Your brain detected the deep voice projected into your ears and finally started working again. You were going to cross the road, but you were too caught up in your own thoughts, oblivious to the speeding lorry that was coming your way until a guy saved your life.

You looked up at the taller lad inches away from you, whose arms are still circulating your waist, holding you tightly. Not trying to exaggerate, you almost thought an angel flew down from the sky to save you from your near-death encounter as the orange-yellowish sunset beaming at part of his face.

He is so breathtaking handsome and beautiful. How can a man look so delicate and pretty at the same time?

His visual is intoxicating you.

Your watery eyes stayed on his face for a while, carefully scanning through that sculpted face with your hazy mind. Still processing from that ordeal, you only manage to utter a 'sorry' at him as he softens his gaze on you.

Butterflies are erupting at the pits of your stomach as you feel a tinge of scintilla booming in your chest while falling deeper into the dark iris he holds in his eyes. Never ever have you experienced such spark with an opposite-gender before, not until him.

Is this what they meant by fate?

"Sorry for shouting, I was- I was just anxious," he gently let you go while still clinging onto your hands as if you were his significant other, while you nodded blurrily and shook your head right after you understood what he meant. You heard him chuckling lightly at your foolish reaction, causing your cheeks to turn redder from the shuddering weather.

"It's-it's okay, thank you," you bowed 90 degrees to express your utmost gratitude, making his lips curl up further as you sniffed at your mucus, holding the flowers a little tighter. It was nice meeting such an enchanting and loving guy, so you wouldn't ask for more than what he already did.

Once is enough, but not going to complain if there is a second.

Bidding a goodbye, you left him there and speed up your pace so you can be out of his sight. If you were to continue standing there, you could guarantee that your heart will fall out of your chest as he persistently stares at you, flashing his alluring smile that speaks a thousand words.

Passing by a cake shop, you stood outside the store contemplating if you should get yourself a cake, even a small one will do to wish yourself a happy birthday. It has been an eternity since you tasted a cake. Decision made, you stride into the store and your eyes land on a piece of yuzu earl grey cake that looks so enticing, making yourself more affirm to purchase it.

"Can I have this yuzu earl grey cake?"

"Can I have this yuzu earl grey cake?"

Pause.

You look at the voice owner and see the familiar beige hoodie you caught sight of 15 minutes earlier.

"It's you?" you pointed at him and soon realised it was rude, taking down your fingers while waiting for an answer.

"It's me, you left so quickly before I could say a word," he scraped the nape of his neck as you internally shouted 'cute!', trying to remain a calm demeanour in front of him.

Don't wanna look like a fool.

"Oh..." your voice trailed off as you were unsure how to continue with the conversation, turning your attention back to the cake.

"Hi Sir and Miss, we only have 1 left," the staff looked at both of you apologetically. Recalling how he saved your ass, you decided to let him have the cake as a form of gratitude, at least.

"Uhm, you can have it, you saved me just now so," you step back a bit to show you gave up the position. "Enjoy the cake."

Once again, you bowed 90 degrees before leaving the shop, frowning at how coincidentally you can go to meet him twice a day, until stopping in your tracks when you heard the familiar voice calling you.

"Hey! Wait for me," you saw the mesmerising guy running to your side, slightly panting as you walked pretty fast. "Why do you always leave without hearing my response."

Oh shit, my bad.

"Oh, my bad, sorry, you wanted to say?" You felt a strong urge to slap yourself now because you portrayed yourself as a rude bitch who is totally not your intention.

"Do you wanna share the cake with me?" he looked at you with his glossy eyes while that question spilt elegantly out of his plump lips. You were taken aback by his question because you never expected that from him, and his idea does sound good.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, of course!"

It is your first time sitting by the flight of ladders that faces the river with someone beside you, a stranger guy that totally looks like your type some more. It was awkward as you didn't know what to begin talking with, so you fiddled with the 2 flowers on your hand.

"Is it your birthday today?"

What the hell, how does he know?

"Yes, how do you know?" you darted your eyes at him, seeing him pointing at the 2 purple tulips on your hand and the cake in his.

"Because it's mine too...purple tulip is the birth flower of today."

You looked at him in awe. You felt miraculous to have someone having the same birthday as you, sharing the same birth flower and now, sharing the same cake, pretty worth it right?

"You can have one, happy birthday," you passed one of the flowers to him, giving up the task of putting one at home as you felt the person beside you needed it more.

His smile got wider as he took over and smelled, satisfied with the mile fragrant emitting from the petals. He placed it gently on the steps, opened the cake box and neatly cut the cake in half, then passed the box to you.

"You can have one too, happy birthday." It feels strangely warming to share something important with another person you barely know who has the same birthday. The thought of celebrating alone is dreading, especially overthinking when eating the cake when you were younger.

And now that feeling faded away.

"You don't celebrate with your family or friends?" you asked while looking at the latter staring into space, gazing at you when hearing your question.

"I did, but it somehow led to a heated argument, so I decided to leave and grab a cake on my own." Upsetness is written all over his face as you keep silent, continuing to eat your cake. "How about you?"

"Me? I don't have a family, my friends are doing night shifts," you acted as if you were cool with it, but it's obviously not cool. He muttered a sorry, but you assured him to not mind that.

Night has fallen and thankfully you had a peaceful yet deep conversation with the dude next to you, making each other feel comfortable. Nevertheless, your heart still skip beats from time to time when he stares at you when speaking, leaning closer to you to hear what you were saying, or those mindless physical contacts between the 2 of you.

He offered to send you home as the sky was dark and you agreed to it. Along the way, both of you did a self-introduction and exchanged phone numbers. The trip back home has never been this fast and soon you have reached the entrance of your apartment building. You were already waving goodbye at him until he threw you a question, catching you off guard.

"Y/n, do you know what purple tulip symbolises?"

"It means eternal love, isn't it?"

"It is, do you know how does it feel like?"

"No... the only thing know is my eternal love for my deceased parents, why would you ask?"

"Nothing, because I'm not sure how it feels as well...do you… want to explore with me?"

You looked at him with a perplexed expression, walking closer to him before muttering your reply under your breath, with a mix of uncertainty.

"What, what do you mean?"

He leaned in closer, bending down to match your height as he whispered into your ears, lips gently grazing at the tip of it. Your stable heartbeat started to become irregular again as he is inches away from you, radiating his warmth that makes you feel dizzy.

"I feel like part of my soul has started loving you since the beginning when I met you and I think we may be soulmates, so shall we discover how love feels like, between you and me?"

After pausing a moment to digest his lines, you decided to leap forward and try something new. You never know what love is, or even what love meant because you never receive them. Perhaps this guy, whose name is Hyunjin, can teach you how to love someone and possibly, for an eternity.

Who knows right?

“Yes, we shall.”

-> Author’s note: Happy birthday to uri dumpling, sexy king Hwang Hyunjin! This oneshot is dedicated to his born day and i hope you guys like it ~~

-> Networks: @thesunshineshop @ficscafe @koffeenet

-> Taglist: @ajxreads @xa21x @reallyloudstarlight @lunaflvms (wanna join? simply comment below or send in an ask!)

-> Masterlist | About

© levantea — all rights reserved. No plagarising, editing, claiming as own without permission.

[midgardianweasley]

I‘d love to see you write an angsty fanfic with Natasha x reader (male or female is up to you) with a bad ending of your choice.

No pressure of course ✨

as requested Violet!! I hope it's okay<3

How could you do this to me?

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha hasn’t been around recently and Y/N’s been really missing her company, but that changes when some CCTV footage is discovered.

Warnings: Cheating, swearing.

Word Count: 3.6k

there was an attempted proof read, but sorry in advance if i've missed anything!!

message/ask to be added to the taglist<3

Requests are open!

You weren’t surprised when you woke up to an empty bed once again, the space beside you missing a red-head assassin. You’d grown used to the sight of bedsheets spread lazily on your side of the bed, almost completely thrown off of the edge. It wasn’t unusual, however, the feeling of disappointment that lingered in your chest every morning never eased with time.

‘I’m just off to train, baby.’

‘I need to go and see Fury about this next mission, you go back to sleep’

‘I forgot to debrief the team last night, so we need to have a meeting this morning instead.’

‘Off to get some breakfast, my love. I’ll save you some eggs.’

Those were the typical reasons you received whenever you questioned where she was going in such a hurry in the mornings. You knew she was busy, of course you did. But, you missed the mornings when she’d pull you back into her chest, refusing to let you leave until you gave her a few kisses, which never ended up just being kisses, but you always gave in either way.

Now that you think of it, you can’t remember the last time she held you. Not properly. She used to hold you in a death grip, so tight that you could almost feel her heartbeat in your own chest. Nowadays, you were lucky to get more than a few taps on the back, it felt like you were being congratulated for something.

You’d always brushed it off, thinking that you must’ve been selfish for wanting so much of her attention, you had to be more understanding of how demanding her job is. It wasn’t like you never tried, you did, everyday. It would just be nice to feel her love for you a little more, even if it was just a quick peck before she left in the mornings.

“Hey Wan’, Hey Vis” You smiled at the pair as they stood at the kitchen counter, cracking eggs and buttering some toast. They loved cooking together, Wanda always told you how cute it was when Vision was trying to learn, especially after his fiasco with the Paprika.

“Hi Y/N, want something to eat?” Wanda handed you some toast, which you took gratefully, slowly munching on it.

Vision looked up as though to engage in conversation, when he then looked around in confusion. “Where’s Ms. Romanoff?”. You shrugged.

“I’m not sure, I think she’s training, I’ve not heard from her yet.”

You were looking at Vision, but it was near impossible to miss the sympathetic look Wanda was giving you. She knew about how you’d been feeling with Natasha not being around so much, she had tried to help, to hint to Nat that you’d been feeling a bit neglected for a while now, but she hadn’t gotten very far.

“Nat, nat, I just think that maybe you should spend a little more time with Y/N” It was obvious the assassin wasn’t listening to her, shrugging it off and trying to walk past the witch, only to have a hand pressed on her chest to push her backwards.

“Wanda, I need to go, I'm running late.”

“you’re always running somewhere. I'm sure Fury, or Tony or whoever you’re in such a rush to see, can wait. You haven’t seen your girlfriend in forever.”

“I saw her last night.”

“Crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning and sleeping next to her, isn’t seeing her, Nat.”

Her words fell on deaf ears as she watched her friend turn around and walk the other way. She could’ve used her powers to stop her, she didn’t see a point though. She wasn’t listening, and she couldn’t force her to.

“It's fine though, honestly! I can hang out with you guys today if you’re not busy?”

the couple shared a look of awkwardness before looking back towards you.

“Actually, we were going to go into town and do some sightseeing. You’re welcome to join us though!” She smiled, not wanting you to be alone, which you were grateful for, but you couldn’t intrude.

“No no, don’t worry! I think I've got something Tony wanted me to check out in the Lab, now that I think about it.” You didn’t. “You guys have fun though! take pictures!” You winked, knowing full well that your best friend didn’t believe you, she hesitated before nodding her head in agreement and beginning to walk off with Vision in tow.

__________________

An hour or so went by, you still hadn’t seen Natasha at all, or anyone, really. They all seemed to have disappeared to do their own thing, leaving you to find yours. So, you found yourself wandering into your lab, where you found Tony observing the screens with an endless amount of data changing every couple of seconds. You never really understood how he made sense of it all so quickly, but you’d always been intrigued nonetheless.

He must’ve sensed someone was there, as he broke away from his train of thought and glanced over towards you, fully acknowledging how your shoulders were slumped and your eyes lacked your usual sparkle. Tony alway had a soft spot for you, he’d known you for years, taking on a role similar to a father’s. Seeing you look so defeated recently, it’d hurt him a little more than he cared to admit.

Gesturing for you to come in with a gentle smile before moving and adjusting various chunks of metal on the table in the centre of the lab.

“Ah ah!” He tapped the bridge of his nose

“You can’t be serious! Tony I-”

“Nope”

“I’m a grown woman!” You laughed in disbelief at his

“Yes, you are, and I do not plan on taking said grown woman to medical because she got a shot of electricity through her eyeball. Put them on.”

You rolled your eyes, picking up a pair of the obnoxiously large lab goggles and put them over your face. He really took being a ‘father figure’ too seriously sometimes. With your goggles on, you took yourself over to where he stood, hoping to help him out somehow and keep yourself occupied.

You watched him move around blueprints on the screen above. “So, whatcha working on?”

“Well, remember that last mission we went on? How that ended?”

“Well, considering I had to get bullets removed for the last two hours, I’d say I remember pretty well.”

His face cringed slightly “Yeah, that’s the one. I’m basically just trying to layer the suits more, but keep the weight to a minimum so that there’s more protection, but the speed and mobility is almost, if not, the same.” He pondered, mind wandering off again to try and figure out how he could make this work.

Suddenly springing to action, he started assembling some pieces together, chucking some aside and reaching for different tools he required.

Looking towards you, he tilted his head “Can you pass me the-”

His sentence was interrupted. “Hey Tony, hey-” Banner. You didn’t mind Bruce, he was always quite quiet and polite most of the time, a little awkward, but, when you have a literal Hulk inside of you, it’s probably the least of your concerns.

You waved at the Avenger. “Hi Bruce” You gave him a friendly smile, for it to be returned with an awkward gaze, which he tried to quickly shove off.

“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N. W-what brings you here?”

“Oh, no particular reason, I wanted something to do so I thought I'd come down, just pay a visit.” He nodded, acknowledging your words but appearing a little on edge, almost.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked “You look a little pale?”

“Yeah, yeah n-no I'm fine, just a-a bit tired.” He stuttered before suddenly directing his attention towards the man standing beside you. “How’s it coming along, Ton’?”

“Not bad, I have a wonderful assistant to help me out.” he nudged you playfully.

“Haha, yeah. She’s great. Anyways, you seem to have a good hold on things, so, I’ll leave you to it and come back later.”

Neither of you had managed to get a word out before Banner had walked out and was already out of sight. You turned to face Tony again.

“Was that- did you find that weird at all?”

“I find most of the people in this compound weird.”

It was a serious question, but you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the millionaire’s response.

“I do pride myself on it.”

“As you should. You’re the weirdest one.”

“Hey!” You slapped his arm. “Rude!”

“I’m kidding! Now, pass me that screwdriver, goggles.”

Chuckling, you threw him the screwdriver and zoned out thinking about Bruce’s weird behaviour. While Tony was right, the majority of us are weird. You couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual it was, even for him. You put it to the back of your mind though, focusing back on what the man beside you was working on. You’re sure it’s fine.

________________________

You thought you were going crazy. First you had Nat, who was disappearing every chance she got, Then you had Bruce who couldn’t look you in the eye and when you finally believed it couldn’t get any weirder, you picked up on some strange vibes from Steve.

“Oh finally! I was beginning to think no one else actually lives here.” You approached Steve who seemed to be walking and talking with Bruce, both taking a step back when they looked towards you.

“Hey Y/N, we were just-”

“We were just about to go and have a shower. Training.” Steve cut in, earning himself a glare and a shake of the head from the scientist beside him, subtle, so you hadn’t noticed, otherwise you would’ve questioned it.

“Oh? You were training too, Bruce?”

“Well, I-” He glanced at Steve. “Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, wanted to get some combat down, just in case I needed it.”

“Considering our last mission, I think we all should.” the super soldier quickly added, sending you an enthusiastic smile, which you had returned. You went to speak again, possibly inquiring as to whether or not they knew where your girlfriend was, but you hadn't had the chance as the pair of them quickly rushed off, muttering something about catching you later, leaving you on your own, once again.

What the hell was going on?

_____________________

Feeling defeated, you trudged your way into your bedroom, just wanting to shower, get into bed and sleep, and hope for some form of normality.

What you hadn’t expected, was to walk in and see the back of a familiar figure sporting the black suit she practically lived in, tying her hair into a low bun and beginning to change into some more comfortable clothes.

You were dating, so it wasn’t new to see Nat changing, but you still thought it would be decent to make her aware of your presence. The small “ahem” was enough to make her spin round and flash you a smile, her pearly white teeth on show.

“Hi babe, i’m just changing for bed. You okay?”

The words felt so unfamiliar to you, having not heard them in what felt like forever. Still, you decided to humour it.

“Yeah, yeah I'm okay. A bit of a weird day is all.”

She laughed, returning to laying out her clothes. “Well, we are surrounded by some weird people.”

“That’s what Tony said.”

There was an atmosphere in the air that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It had always felt comfortable with Natasha, you would describe her company as being like a safety blanket, enveloping you with warmth and a sense of security. This felt different. It didn’t feel familiar anymore, it was like you were face to face with a stranger and the more you looked at her, the more it upset you.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Natasha put her palms on your cheeks, bringing your Y/E/C eyes to meet her emerald ones in the process. You hadn’t realised that tears had fallen until the pad of her thumbs gently brushed them away.

“I just, it sounds so stupid.”

“Tell me.”

You let out a sigh, eyes beginning to dart around the room. “It just feels like I’ve never seen you, I don’t remember the last time we’ve spoken and it’s, it’s been lonely.” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your response, lips falling into a frown, but you were quick to speak again.

“It hasn’t just been you though, I understand that work gets in the way, but, it felt like some members of the team were acting differently around me.”

“Really? Like who?”

“Well, I mean, Bruce could barely bring himself to say anything more than a sentence to me and I tried to speak to Steve just before I came here and he rushed off like his life depended on it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being a bit paranoid.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Detka, I wouldn’t worry about it.” She whispered, hands pulling you forward with ease to bring your lips together. You smiled at the contact, you’d missed it.

You were so caught up in it, that you hadn’t noticed you were the only one smiling.

It wasn’t long before the both of you were interrupted by an electronic voice in the room.

“Miss Romanoff, Miss Y/L/N.” It was F.R.I.D.A.Y. “Mr Stark is asking for you both in the conference room.”

“Alright, thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y., we’re on our way.” Your girlfriend replied, rushing away from the kiss and leading you to the door.

Why was everyone in such a rush today?

_______________________

“So, I was messing around with some things in the lab, and I think I've found a solution to our suit issue. It’s still a work in progress because I'll need to tweak some things and then tailor them blah blah blah, but I thought I'd show you guys the latest. JARVIS?”

“Bringing up footage 182.”

While you waited for the video to be up and running, you took note of everyone sitting around you. For the most part, they looked tired, though you don’t blame them, it was pretty late.

Shuffling to your left, you held Natasha’s hand in yours, sending her a loving gaze before resting your head on her shoulder, just content that she was close by. She sat a little straighter at the action, careful not to push you off of her, but not entirely relaxing either.

The large tv screen lit up, a view from the corner of the lab came into sight where you could see Tony installing different wires and pieces of loose metal into the suit, watching it light up as he did so. He was in the middle of explaining what he was doing as the recording went on, when the screen suddenly turned to static, black and white lines taking over the screen.

“JARVIS?”

“Minor technical issue, working on it, Mr Stark.”

You caught Wanda’s eye across the table, a playful smirk plastered onto her face at the mishap, watching the billionaire get stressed over a television. You couldn’t help but laugh at the words flying from his mouth as he started hitting the remote, as if he was someone who didn’t understand technology.

It wasn’t long before an image appeared back on the screen, however, this wasn’t the same recording. This is from the gym. It focused on one of the square mats in the middle of the room where two people were sparring. One of which, you immediately recognised as Natasha.

The other person definitely wasn’t a girl, their hair was short and muscles so big you were worried that one slice would be the end. It zoomed in a little, and from the blonde hair and dark blue outfit, you pieced together who it was.

“Oooh, Black Widow and the SuperSoldier, one vs one. Now this should be interesting.” A previously tired looking Sam clapped his hands and leaned forward, now fully invested in the scene in front of him.

You turned to Nat, who now looked a little paler than she did before.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, don’t tell me, you lost this spar?” You joked, expecting her to join in and tease you back. Instead, her face displayed an emotion you weren’t entirely sure of.

Before you could question it, you noticed the room fall silent. Not even a breath could be heard in the room. Your head turned slowly, meeting a mixture of shocked and sympathetic faces. And that was when you saw it.

Nat had kissed Steve, and he didn’t stop her.

If you weren't aware of your heartbeat before, you couldn’t be now, for it felt like it had completely stopped. Your jaw fell as your eyes filled with tears, only worsening the longer you saw the two of them on the screen. It was only turned off when a third person walked into view, not needing to ponder on who it could be, you immediately faced guilty stares. Three of them.

“You- you kissed-” You stuttered, incapable of forming a sentence towards your teammate. “And, you knew?” Your voice broke, tears now beginning to find their way down your cheeks for the second time as Bruce couldn’t bring himself to answer you.

You swiftly rose out of your seat, attempting to keep yourself composed until you could be alone.

“Baby-” Natasha murmured, trying to take hold of your hand, which you snatched back before she could lay a finger on it.

“Don’t.”

“Please-”

“Leave me alone.” You spat, speed walking out of what now felt like an overcrowded room.

You didn’t hear it, you’d left too early, but if you had stayed, you would’ve heard the team give Nat and Steve the scolding of their lives, mainly from Wanda and Tony, telling them how disappointed they were in them both. How they’d be lucky if you were to forgive them for what they did.

________________________

You don’t know how long you’d been sitting on your shared bed for. It could’ve been an hour, it could’ve been a couple of minutes. All you knew, was that you couldn’t stay in this room much longer, looking at the picture frames and the shared wardrobe, it just felt painful.

So, you walked over to your wardrobe and gathered every item of your clothing into your arms, lacking any care for if there were hangers or labels in the way, and chucked them on the bed and started to chuck it all into a suitcase intended for holidays but, you don’t see that happening anytime soon.

The sound of sniffles and rustling was all you could hear in the room, so much so that it was suffocating, and it didn’t help when you heard the door creak open.

“What are you doing?” A voice squeaked. Natasha stood beside the door, fidgeting with her fingers as she anxiously bounced from one foot to the other. You didn’t even bother to look up in her direction, focusing solely on getting out of there as soon as you could.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I didn’t mean it.” You scoffed at her attempt at an explanation. “I love you.”

That’s what made you whip your head to see her red and puffy eyes, if this was any other situation, you would’ve rushed over and engulfed her in a hug, tell her that everything would be okay and you’re there for her. Now? All you felt was anger.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have kissed him.”

“I didn’t know-”

You stood up straight, almost laughing at her choice of words. “You didn’t know? Bullshit. I’m pretty fucking sure everyone is aware when they kiss someone. Did you know when you were kissing me then? Or did you not know that either?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“I don’t think I care.”

She tries to step closer to you, only for you to take one back, holding your hand out, indicating for her to stop.

“No. no, you know what Nat, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like a stranger for weeks, like I'm sharing a bed with someone I don’t know, for you to then kiss someone else and expect me to forgive you. You have no idea how I've felt these past weeks, blaming myself and thinking I was selfish for wanting your time. It’s funny, really.”

She looked away from you, regret taking over her features, both of you now having tear stains covering your rosy red cheeks.

You broke the silence once again. “Was that the first time?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Y/N-” She pleaded

“Answer the question, Natasha.” You spoke through gritted teeth.

Silence returned to the four walls.

“Get out.”

“No, no, we-” She stepped forward, only to halt herself when she realised what she was doing.

“There is no ‘we’. We’re done. I’ll have my stuff moved back into my room by tonight, though I'm sure it won’t make much of a difference to you.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Whatever.”

She walked out of the room, hesitating slightly, wondering if it’s worth staying and trying to figure out whatever this is. She shook her head to herself, knowing she’d fucked up. There wasn’t a fight anymore. It was done.

Collapsing on the bed, the feeling washed over you again as the finality of it all set in. You didn’t stop though. You packed your clothes, your perfumes, all of your loose hair ties and left the room with only one thought on your mind.

Natasha won’t even notice the difference.

Taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova

[qulizalfos]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD. godddddddd. also btw this turned into a bit of a jon analysis/liveblog of me trying to get inside that mans head so i can think more deeply about this because WOAG. ouch.

so my first instinct is that he'd react like he did in 1x04 when will's fake body was first found --- even more isolation, trying to find comfort in the things that they had in common (music etc and HEY omg how many songs do you think he just can't bear to listen to anymore because every time he does he just remembers being told that will isnt ever coming home- OFF TOPIC LIZA ://) but then i realized jonathans primary reaction was being there for joyce. like, he had his own moments of being sad but very few of them. in the face of loss he kinda turns to someone else to help THEM through it rather than focusing on him, and if he does that for long enough it gets too much and his feelings boil over and he explodes. which uhhhhhh god im unwell. anyway that's what i think his immediate reaction would be primarily

in the aftermath though...... god i have to think about this. because to me jonathan is and has always been a character who doesnt have everything and is cool with that because he loves what he Does have. and i think that sort of applies to relationships too. he's very loyal, but very lonely because he has his people who are very important to him. he doesnt need a million friends, he has Them. so when one of those people leave, he gets angry. when joyce distances herself, jonathan gets mad and does the same.[of course there were many reasons for this but like. it still Happened."dammit, jonathan." "i know" "dammit."] nancy snaps at him because she thinks he's being unfair? he rises to the challenge and they fight.

i think that this is because he loves the people who are special to him, because like. you guys are on my side, in my corner, and im grateful for that. like i said when they leave, he recoils. but with will, he's always been a lot softer. will wouldn't really leave jonathan, not unless something suuuuuuper drastic happened[like death], so when it DID, i feel like jonathan would get really bitter and upset about that

but then comes the guilt because GOD his brother just died!!! and he's thinking about how will wasn't supposed to go because he wants his younger brother back! can't he just grieve like a normal person!!

anyway will and jon's characters are very entwined to me and obviously jonathan would feel guilty for reasons above but i think he'd also feel guilty and sad because like. there's so much i should've said to him. i didnt stress enough that i'd rather be friends with him because he was real. i wish i'd done more with him i wish i'd shown him how life was a bitch but it didn't always have to be, i want to sit him down and remind him he's never done anything wrong i could've helped him in some other way and of course everyones saying it's not my fault but god i couldve made the time he did have less painful! somehow! if i could go back i would!!!!!!!!!!!! so i think regret would be another huge part of it.

anyway sorry if this was ooc in any way lmaooo and sorry for the paragraphs. jon's character is so fun to study under a microscope like so->🔬🔬🔬 but then again i dont usually work with jonathan!! regardless this was such an honor to be tagged in i didnt realize how deep i could make this go. jesus. sorry for ur notifs wayli, hope this makes sense<33333

so…how would jonathan react to will’s death? asking for a friend.

[shurisneakers]

harmless (v)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, ghosts, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, rats

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: why did i like this chapter sm someone explain. anyway!! y’all are so passionate about these two i love it mwah

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He dislikes the subway. 

Other than his other valid reason to have disdain for trains, the subway is dark, it’s shady and he’s sure he’s seen rodents fight to the death here on several occasions.  

Still, he’s following you down the stairs of the station, watching as you whistle along to the song blasting through your headphones. There’s a backpack swung over your shoulders, hands stuffed into the pocket of your hoodie and converse doing a skip every now and then. There’s a bandana that’s tied across your face, acting as a mask to hide your identity. 

He realises that you’re dressed like a commuter. Were you going to dress the part every single time?

You walk along with the crowd. He follows, a few feet away.

Until you stop. He abruptly stops too, leading someone to walk right into him. 

“Watch it, dumbass,” they hiss with the courage of someone who has no idea who he is. He ignores them. 

He looks on as you dig around your backpack and pull out a roll of paper. A poster, he realises soon when you peel off a layer from the back and press it to the wall. 

Was it legal to put up posters in the subway? He wasn’t quite sure. 

He observes as you turn around and continue down the path. He waits a few seconds before trailing up to the poster.

Volunteers needed!

If you’re interested in being turned into a ghost for a couple of hours, this is your chance! Should be okay with being on camera so that we can make money off of taped paranormal sightings.

Paid opportunity. You get to pick your outfit. Randos don’t apply.

He yanks the poster of the wall before continuing down the same place you did.

He finds another poster along the way. He doesn’t hesitate in pulling it down. You were advocating to kill people. 

He knows he’s going in the right direction because more posters creep up along the wall.

The both of you are on the platform by now but to him, something changes about the placement of the posters. They were growing in frequency, the distance between them decreasing as they were situated close to each other.

He pauses in front of the next one, hand hovering over the paper.

All it reads is ‘STOP’.

He furrows his eyebrow, pulling it down before peering over at the next one.

‘TAKING’, is all that it says.

It doesn’t take him very long to make his way through all the posters in the hallway. 

‘THESE’

‘DOWN’

The train’s arrived by now but a quick scan over the crowd and he knows that you haven’t entered. That, and he knew that you were too dramatic to leave without a trace or a small conversation with him. 

‘DICKHEAD’

Tasteful, he thinks. 

“It took effort to make them, stop ruining it,” you whine from the end of the hallway. It’s empty, given that rush hour was over a while ago. 

Even though the mask covers half your face, it’s obvious that there is mischief etched under it. The twinkle in your eye is telling. 

“You’re literally killing people.” He holds up the poster. Not the ‘dickhead’ one. He pockets that for later. 

He knows there are a few minutes before the next train arrives and more people flood the station. The eccentricity of today lay in the lighting from the incandescent lamps and acoustics of the platform. It made his voice echo like a movie scene. 

“I very much am not,” you huff. 

“You’re turning them into ghosts. That’s what a murderer does,” he says pointedly. 

“Well, only if you keep saying it like that. You’re making me look bad.” You cross your arms across your chest. “What are you, Fox News?” 

A scurry next to him earns his attention. Two rats nibble at a piece of fallen food. He wonders when they’ll starting brawling. 

“Explain this.” He waves the poster around. He isn’t taking it too lightly he hopes. If it’s actual murder then it’s going to be an issue. 

You pull out a black cylinder, slightly bigger than a pen. He can’t really see any more details, but you hold onto it like a wand. 

“I’m turning them into ghosts. I’ll post videos of them doing stupid shit. I get famous and then boom, cash money.” You rub your index finger and thumb together. “I’ll give you a share if you volunteer.”

“You’re not explaining the death part.” 

He can feel it. You’re about to start derailing. 

“Winter Soldier, the ghost story. Literally.” You grin, yanking down the mask from your face to prove it. It pools around your neck. “That’s so funny, c’mon, it’d be amazing.”

It’s been years since he’s heard that. Never in this context. 

“No,” he says sternly, “and I’m going to have to bring you in if you’re going to kill people.”

The rats were ignoring everything that was going down like the hardened criminals that they were. They had probably seen worse. He can’t stop paying attention to them.

“I’m not killing them, bro.” You raise your hands in exclamation. “I’m just moving some molecules around, some frequency shit. They’re alive, just ghosts.”  

He’s always been one for science. Straight As throughout high school, attended science conventions as a hobby, alive even at 100 through some mad experimentation, definitely seen some weird shit during his lifetime. 

But this doesn’t make sense.

“No,” he repeats. “Give me the thing.”

“Fine, I’ll show you.” You roll your eyes. “Since you have absolutely no faith in me.”

He does a quick review of his surroundings. 

No one’s around, which is good. 

But that just leaves him in front of you, which is bad.

“Don’t you even thin-” he starts, muscles tensing as he shifts into a defensive stance.

You whip out the little pen thing from beside you but before he can react you turn around and duck. 

The click of a button releases a bright light, small but intensely stronger than the fluorescents in the station.

He reels back, feet carrying him away from where you’re crouched. His eyes quickly look down at his body. 

Nothing’s changed. 

He lifts his hand to check, runs it over his face. Still alive. He thinks.

“Behold,” you declare, “Ghost rat.”

He looks to where you’re pointing. The two rats from earlier were still nibbling on their food but something was off about them. 

He could see the faint outline of the tiles on the wall behind them, almost like they were... translucent.  

You aimed at the rats, not him. He doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or annoyed at the fake threat.

He watches as they move. They don’t look hurt or injured.

“Cool, huh?” you say smugly. 

He can’t stop staring at them. 

“Bring them back.”

“They’re fine, look how abstract it is.”

“Bring back the rats.” He can’t believe this is what his life has come to.

Bucky Barnes, Rodent Protector.

You aren’t fazed by his indifference, instead wonder filled eyes gaze at the animals. “Astral mice, sarge. Embrace the miracle of modern science.”

“You killed them.”

“They’re alive, they’re just ghosts.” You raise a finger to point. “Look, they’re still eating. Biological functions are still taking place.” 

 Which was true. But still. He doesn’t know what is going on.

“Bring them back to... non-ghost alive.” 

“You sure you don’t want one? That one kinda looks like you.” One hardened glare after you realise the answer. “Jeez, alright then.”

You dig through your bag before pulling out a matte black replica of your current invention. 

“Sexy colours, right?” You hold them up. “I modelled them after your arm.”

He looks down. Sure enough the gold and black matched his cybernetic limb. It was oddly flattering. 

“Say thank you, Y/N, for letting me be your muse-”

“Un-ghost the rats.” 

“Ungrateful,” you narrow your eyes at him. 

Still, you comply with his demands, ducking down to their level again.

A click of the button, a bright light and the rats are back to normal. Non-transparent normal.

“Okay, give me that.” He takes a step towards you. 

“Nuh uh.” You pull your arm back. His mouth twitches at your response; what are you, five?

The black one is stuffed back into your bag but you wave around the gold like a threat. 

He sighs, making a pass for it. In a second his arm is twisted and shoved against his back, forcing him to spin so that he’s facing away from you. His eyes widen.

What the fuck?

“Now we’re having a good time,” you whisper into this ear. 

He swiftly turns around, grabbing your wrist to rotate his own out of your grip. 

“Since when can you fight?” he asks.

“Are we getting to know each other now?” You raise your leg to give him a semi gentle kick in the side, using his momentary distraction in blocking it to give him a knock on the head with your free hand. “This is so romantic, sarge.”

There’s a low rumble in the distance and he knows the train would soon start pulling into the station. It was still a distance away, but his heightened senses warned him that it wouldn’t take much time. 

He groans. How much longer would he have to go at this?

He could easily win this fight and he knew it. But something in him itched, pulled him back from doing it.

He blocks another attempt at his head. “Stop that.”

You grin. “You know what’d be fun?”

He knows you’d reply even if he didn’t encourage it. The lights from the train light up the tunnel around the corner. 

“This.” You don’t give him a second to recover before you flick your wrist away from him.

The device flies out of your hand and right onto the track. The both of you watch, you in glee, he in horror, as the train runs right over it, unleashing the brightest light he had ever seen. His eyes shut instinctively before it blinds him.

He forces himself to pry open his eyelids, look at the damage caused. 

The train, sure enough, is translucent. He can see the posters on the other side of the platform through the carriage, through various people holding onto the poles for support or seated on the seats.

“Ghost train!” you cheer. He’s mortified.

“Fuck no,” he mumbles, yanking the backpack off your shoulder. He rummages through it, looking for the gold version.

“You lookin’ for this?” you ask nonchalantly, holding it up in your hand like it isn’t the solution to stopping a bunch of ghosts from wandering around New York. 

“Turn them back.” He gives you a chance. 

“Do it yourself, coward.” You grin, holding it above your head. The train is going to stop and he needs everyone to be alive and non-ghost before they leave.

He doesn’t wait this time, instead turning to you. The thing is still held in your grip above your head. He rolls his eyes, doing a quick assessment before grabbing your free hand, tugging you closer and plucking the device out of your hand before you have the opportunity to retract it.  

“Great, now figure out which button to press.” You’re dangerously close to him. He can feel your hoodie brush against his tactical jacket. “Also if you wanted to be all pressed up against me, you could have just asked.” 

He furrows his eyebrows, letting go of you as you give a loud laugh. He looks down at the device. It has several buttons, littering up and down the side. Each look the same. 

The train’s slowing down. 

“They’re both the same device; this version is not a magical solution to the other one. If you press the wrong button then both of us are going to be fucked.”

The last carriage is getting closer. 

“Say I win this round and I’ll fix it.” 

There’s a gleam in your eye. He knew this was exactly what you wanted. 

He wishes he was as stubborn as Steve, just run through each button until the right one worked.

“You win this one.” He hands it back. He wasn’t like Steve and judging by the number of items the idiot jumped out of planes without a parachute on a daily basis, Bucky was glad about it. At least Bucky did it sporadically.

“Yay, two each for the both of us, then,” you say, taking it from him and twisting, eyes running down the sides. “Close your eyes, old man, or else your cataract’s gonna get worse.”

Right as the train pulls to a stop, you press down on the button before throwing it and the blinding light that emanates from it. It lands on the top of the train right as the doors open. 

The passengers start stepping out. Some of them are looking at their hands and legs in a little disbelief, most just push through the crowd to leave.

He can’t see through them. It’s a good sign. 

He turns to look at you but you’re not there. Instead, the weight of the small device weighs down in his pocket.

The sound of a thud on glass draws his attention. 

He looks up at the train. The window of the carriage in front of him has a bit of fog on it. You trace a heart in the condensation and blow him a kiss before pulling your mask back on.

The train starts moving, leaving him alone in the platform again with your invention.

He lets out an exhale, wandering outside to grab a sandwich before waiting to catch the next train to go home. 

Later in the evening, he catches hold of a bit of tape and the ‘Dickhead’ poster finds a place on Sam’s door. 

He doesn’t appreciate it.

So now it’s tucked away in the shelf of Bucky’s bedside table along with a freeze ray, a ghost-inator, and some discount Pym Particles. 

Next part

[prose-for-hire]

Kiss me quick

Pairing: Spike x Summers!reader

Request: Hi! Can I request a Spike x Summers!reader, where the reader is trying to keep their relationship on the downlow since none of the Scoobies really approve, but after a big win the reader finally kisses him in front of everyone, proving that they do care deeply for one another and everyone just has to accept it.

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Reader gets injured but nothing serious. sex references/implication of sex.

You looked out into dimly lit street, the dark had surrounded you now but ever since you had been meeting this way you couldn’t help but smile whenever the sun began to descend from the sky. You were stood, under a streetlamp, three streets away from your house. Just far enough where nobody from your household would catch you meeting him this way. You had been meeting like this for a while now.

He got a kick out of coming up behind you and immediately pressing you against the nearest wall and crashing his lips to yours. His favourite greeting entailed leaving you breathless and ready to pull him closer no matter what your surroundings were. He often mumbled his hellos through stolen kisses. His passion never died, he was all in. Completely yours.

You couldn’t shake this feeling. That you were completely in love. You had silently tried to fight it to begin with, knowing that those around you wouldn’t approve. That Spike himself may not even reciprocate your feelings. But soon it became clear that there was no hiding these feelings that always bubbled to the surface whenever he was near.

You had started fooling around to begin with, before it all changed. For the better, both of you agreed. Your feelings had taken hold of you both, fuelled by the touch of skin. The depth of mind. Unspoken emotions kept the two of you in a chokehold before you finally spilled your feelings for the other.

Ever since you quit college, you had spent all of your free time sneaking around with Spike. It was, honestly, as thrilling as it was annoying. As much as you wished you could just tell everyone how much you loved Spike - how amazing he was with you, you couldn’t. You had to hide it, the implications of your friends and sisters finding out would be a fate worse than death. In fact, for spike it may mean actual death this time.

Unfortunately, you were the middle child. You were a year younger than Buffy and she never let you forget about it. Meaning, Buffy thought she was the boss of you. Not to mention Dawn basically clung onto your leg to stop you from leaving the house (and thus, preventing you leaving her behind where she couldn’t follow you around). This meant that, often, you didn’t get much spare time for sneaking around with Spike. But, God, did you make it your biggest priority. After… saving the world… obviously.

When you did manage to share these intimate moments, it was everything. It felt as if you were the only people in the world. The only people that had ever felt anything close to this. Nobody had loved this deep. Cared this much. You were both so sure. These feelings, they were eternal. He vowed it to you, one early morning you had spent with your naked bodies pressed together, baring your souls well into the night.

Any emotional scars you harboured seemed to heal just by speaking to him. By having that soothing voice share his own darkest moments with you in return. How that voice, those eyes could have seen and done so much and still make you feel undeniably safe you weren’t sure. But, you trusted him. Even if danger appeared to surround him at every turn. You wouldn’t change him for anything. You loved the good, the bad and the oh-so-attractive parts of him.

Vulnerabilities turned to strengths when you were together. Rough edges appeared smoother. Promises held meaning. You adored him and he confessed to you that he had never been so comfortable in a relationship. He could be himself, could express his feelings without being concerned you would turn away from him.

The first night you invited him into your home made him elated. You had to make him swear not to tell Buffy because you knew she wouldn’t take it well. Like, at all. As much as he would have loved to rub it in the slayer’s face that he had been given access to her house – he loved you too much to even think to upset you in this way. So, you carried on this way, unable to keep your hands and lips from each other for more than an evening at a time. This meant mostly, he stayed at the Summer’s residence or you left to the crypt. Sometimes, you even went for real dates – so long as you were sure that everyone else you knew would be busy elsewhere.

Tonight, you were going to the Bronze together. It was a little more of a risk than usual, but he had insisted on taking you somewhere he knew you would enjoy. Muttered something about not keeping you in the shadows before taking your hand and leading the way. The truth was, Spike was in fact just very smitten with you. And he pretty much wanted everyone to see that you were with him. This was ‘everyone’ except the scoobies and any family members you happened to have crawling out of the woodwork. It was safe though, everyone else was going to some college party and Buffy had told you that it was uncool to have her younger sibling come along.

Buffy was the only one that viewed you as the ‘younger sibling’ the others were friends with you because they were fond of you. Because, well, sometimes you appeared more mature than Buffy did – not that they would ever say that to her face. Although there was always that slight worry that if they hadn’t been friends with Buffy they wouldn’t have been as close with you. You were barely a year younger than Buffy but she was still incredibly protective of you as she was the oldest.

What you hadn’t banked on, whilst you rubbed Spike’s thigh under the table, was that Xander hadn’t been invited to the party. He saw you immediately and made his way over to you with Anya close behind. You almost choked on your drink as you saw them come up behind Spike. You snapped your hand away in shock much to Spike’s displeasure.

“Hey, Y/n-” he started and then stopped when he saw Spike’s presence, “He bothering you?”

“No, he’s just-”

“Warming you up, right pet?” His eyes glistened as he spoke, an eyebrow raising which made Xander scowl. You tried your best to hide the smile at your boyfriend’s words as Xander looked between you both. Xander liked to think of himself as your older brother and had decided you needed defending. You opened your mouth to say otherwise but ended up being cut off by a very urgent ex-vengeance demon.

“It doesn’t matter that they’re dating right now, we are all going to get ripped into pieces if the demon finds us!” Anya shouted. You hadn’t been as secretive as you thought then.

“An!” Xander hissed, sharing a look. At the exact same time you and Spike shared a look too. You wondered who else had seen straight through your sneaking around and longing glances you shared through scooby meetings.

You were sharing looks for different reasons though. They had obviously discussed what not to say beforehand and Anya had characteristically ignored his warning. There was some kind of demon threatening the town. Again.

“What’s going on, Xander? Anya?” you tried for your ex-vengeance demon friend when Xander didn’t speak. There was definitely something odd going on. At her name being called, despite Xander’s warning, she launched into an explanation.

“Xander got annoyed at our sex-spell and ripped a page out of my very rare copy of ‘magic, sex and me’ which ruined our entire evening!” She scowled and crossed her arms before continuing, “Now we have to kill it instead of having our sexy time” she pouted.

“We’ll pretend we didn’t hear about a sex spell-”

“Well, I want to hear about it. Can’t get it up, mate?” Spike taunted which only made Xander redden further after Anya’s admittance. Xander stepped as if to hit your vampire but you stepped in the way and wheeled Xander away, changing the subject.

You asked instead about what this demon was like. Anya explained that it was a Scorn-demon. Ridiculously hard to kill and bound to the pages of a book as no mortal prison can hold it. It looked as if you were in for a long night. Which is exactly what you and Spike had planned although for a very different reason.

“If all of us are looking, we’ll find it quicker” You offered, Xander had been embarrassed to explain because of the reason they were doing a spell. But now Anya had told anyone anyway, he was grateful of the help. You got to your feet, ready to follow them out as Spike got up beside you.

“Looks like no bugger’s getting any tonight” Spike muttered, rolling his eyes as you apparently volunteered you both to assist your friend.

“Just working ourselves up… right?” You offered which made him smirk. God, he had been rubbing off on you. You almost felt yourself mirroring his smirk at your words. He wanted to pull you in and kiss you until you admitted just his presence could get you worked up enough alone, but he knew the importance of hiding this from your friends. Which, really was the only reason he didn’t take you right there in the middle of the Bronze.

Instead, you just trailed behind Xander and Anya’s bickering and tried to locate this demon. You called Buffy’s cell and left a message. You knew this was probably going to end with a battle you were unequipped for. You just hoped that you ran into your sister before you ran into the demon. By all accounts he sounded nasty.

As you walked, you and Spike kept sneaking glances at the other when you hoped the others weren’t looking. It was hard, having to maintain this distance when all you wanted to do was reach for him. Show him your affection freely. When you caught the other’s eye, you couldn’t help but smile. You felt so lucky, to have someone that cared so deeply. Someone who wasn’t afraid to share their love so freely.

You wanted to slide your hand in his, tell him just how lucky you felt. Just how much you felt for him, although you were sure he must be sick of how often you told him you loved him. He never was, of course. It was the sweetest music hearing that phrase from your lips. He kissed them a thousand times just to catch the remaining sweetness from your tongue. With those words, nothing should be wasted. He wanted to savour every syllable of your love.

You kept walking until you had to come to an abrupt halt. Dawn turned a corner and crashed straight into you. Turns out, your hopes came true: you did come across your sister first. It just happened to not be the one you expected.

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys were ready for, like, double dating yet” Dawn teased. She, too, had decided that you and Spike had to be dating. She often brought it up to annoy you but she believed it all the same. Spike never corrected her and you had stopped bothering too. You would only come off as defensive and she would tease you for that. You honestly couldn’t win living under the same roof as Dawn, she could be relentless.

Spike leaned in to whisper something in your ear, his lips so close to your ear you could imagine the way they would feel if he leaned in further and pressed against your skin. You smiled at his comment, he always made you laugh. He liked to hear your laugh and it passed the time while he waited for the fight that was coming.

When you looked back up, Willow and Tara had caught up with your group. They gave you a knowing look at how close you were stood to Spike. You wanted to lean on him, inhale deeply and press kisses against the curve of his neck. You loved the way he gripped you closer when you did that. But you had to snap yourself out of this thought at the arrival of your sister. Buffy immediately started giving orders, not before she gave you a warning look for letting Dawn come with you after she scowled at Spike for his mere presence.

“I brought the research – I think there’s a spell, but we’ll have to weaken him first” Willow muttered, frowning at Anya and blaming her for this spell and putting her best friend in danger. 

“The spell needs lovers to complete it. Do you think you could help us Anya? Xander?” Tara asked softly, “But I’m not sure if that’s enough to hold him”

Because the demon was attracted to love and sex, couples were needed to cut off his power at the source. It fed from lovers and by concentrating that power it could reverse and thus weaken the demon within a certain spot.

“Well, if we need couples we have at least three pairs here. Maybe that would be enough?” Willow asked. Making everyone look around to count the pairs. Everyone’s eyes then landed on you and Spike. The last to look was Buffy who raised an eyebrow between you both.

“Does everyone know we’re dating?!”

“Pretty much, sweetie” tara nodded.

“We just didn’t wanna embarrass you. It’s… Spike” Buffy cringed at even the thought of it, “I, uh, thought you would have kinda got it out of your system by now though” Buffy hitched her nose up at the idea of the two of you, but shrugged. She saw it as a meaningless relationship. The kind she had with Parker in her first year of college but more often.

From what you gathered as they didn’t correct her, nobody really thought Spike capable of any kind of meaningful relationship. And with him not being able to actively harm you, they just decided to avoid the topic entirely until one or both of you got bored of the sex. The only one that hadn’t thought anything of your sudden proximity with Spike every time he turned around, was Xander. He really would have said something if he had known. But he still wasn’t convinced now – no matter how often Anya insisted.

You slid your hand into his, now that everybody appeared to know that you were together at least. He smiled at this, looking down at your hands back to your face. This smile, it was softer than he would usually show in front of the Scoobies, it was one only for you. Where he felt such genuine happiness. Such adoration.

As usual, nobody really wanted to discuss your love life (rather just ignore and hope it went away) and so began to look away from you and discuss the demon again. You began following the trail of destruction. He wasn’t so hard to locate really and Buffy immediately attacked him as Willow and Anya set up in a large triangle around the fight. Each couple was at each point of the triangle as the recital occurred. A flash of light surrounded the demon and Buffy before it faded, showing the demon now fighting sluggishly.

You tried to protect Dawn the best you could while Spike and Buffy took it in turns to throw punches at the now marginally weakened demon. You and the others helped when you could but he was so strong even now the spell had worked, that humans barely affected him.

Somehow the demon broke from Spike’s hold and started for Dawn - who he had sensed as the weaker member of your group. You charged in front of your younger sister to try and distract him. This lead to him twisting you and throwing you into the air and crashing into a nearby storefront. You were flung straight against the wall and hit your head quite badly. He watched you falling like a ragdoll, appearing limp due to the blow.

His gut dropped. He left Buffy to the fight. All that mattered now was that you were okay. He had never been so scared. Spike rushed over to you, dropping to the floor so that he could cradle your head in his lap. There were a few seconds where he didn’t know what to do.

But then just as he thought he may have lost you, hope was restored again. You open your eyes, your smile a little dazed as you looked at him from your position in his lap. He looked up to the sky in relief, as if silently thanking the powers. His eyes danced with emotion as he looked back into yours. He wouldn’t know what he would do without you. Couldn’t even imagine it less his heart would begin to ache with phantom loss.

He was so overcome by the thought of losing you that he immediately caught your lips with his. Pouring every single feeling he had ever experienced for you into that one kiss. His hand cupping your cheek, the other on the small of your back – pressing you closer to him. As if this kiss may well be your very last. You reciprocated without hesitation, your lips felt as if they had been moulded just for this very moment. This kiss, it said everything. Promised everything and you smiled into it. Your lips moving against his urgently, insisting he feel your love for him. Even in your weakened state, all of your energy went into kissing him.

In the same moment, Buffy managed to finally slay the beast and Tara and Willow muttered some words that sent him into the book he would now again call home. Buffy whipped around to catch you both kissing so desperately. The rest of the group stopped still and staring too. Every mouth agape in shock. At just how much you appear to feel for the other. This wasn’t just a quick shag when the feeling struck. One wasn’t taking advantage of the other. This was love. The truest kind. And nobody could deny it now, not even Xander.

After you parted, reluctantly on both parts, he took on your weight as you all walked back, everyone except him in silence. He doted on you, pressing a kiss against your temple every few paces – just because he could now in this company. He wanted to offer you all of the comfort he could. He was whispering to you trying to make sure you didn’t fall asleep. He was sure you had a concussion (I mean, you kissed him that way in front of all of your friends without any worries after all).

Buffy didn’t even object when it appeared that Spike was walking their way home. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Everyone could see just how deeply you cared for each other. It was undeniable, even to your older sister.

Spike was just pleased you would make it and be okay. And… he began to get smug that he was finally able to show the slayer that he could access her house this entire time.