#something something a certain attraction towards Ben has happened something something- What

[cosmic-ships]

Hm, well..that's a new development 👀 never thought that would happen...this gave me whiplash

I'm sitting here like !?!?!?!? HULLO!?

[ben-101-rewrite]

Redesign Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slqioKz3fpw

“For as long as they could remember, the Revonnahganders have always been into the culture of farming, and excel in it. Ranging from the rarest of fruits and vegetables, to raising many unusual farm animals, they experimented with anything they could get their hands on. Their prized creation is the Amber Ogia, the perfect fruit they spent years breeding and developing. It could be used in foods, mediations, clothing and even fuel, it was designed to do so many things, though it could only be harvested once a year, and they had to be smart about their supply of it. However, the rumours of this fruit, along with the amount of food and supplies Revonnah could produce, ended up attracting unwanted attention. For many years it became common for thieves, rouges, fleets and even passing conquers to stop by and help themselves to anything they wanted, with the people of Revonnah often struggling to fight back. While they had evolved many fighting styles throughout their history, they couldn’t keep up with the level of tech outside in the galaxy, which frustrated many elders who spent many years just to perfect these techniques, only for some evil aliens with blasters only to take them out in seconds.   Due to this poor relationship towards the outside world, Revonnah and it’s people didn’t appreciate outsiders, and were known to be cold even to those who were friendly. They just couldn’t trust anyone, as they always felt like they only ever wanted what their people harvested and made. Eventually the Plumbers arrived, stepped in, and began protecting them from outsiders who stole from them, and while Revonnah agreed to be under alliance and protection by them, they still weren’t fond of the Plumbers due to years of mistreatment. Nowadays, you’ll find that it’s the older members who turn away outsiders, while thankfully the newer generation has been taking the right steps into joining the outside world, despite the arguments it might cause between the old and the young of Revonnah. Part of this new generation is Rook Blonko, the eldest child of his family. From a young age, Rook and his father have had conflicting views about the outside world, and while the two love and respect each other, it’s a topic they could never agree on. Nonetheless, Rook didn’t disobey his father, and often looked up to him, seeing him as a hard working leading man, since beyond the elders on the highest hill, Rook Da often commanded the village they lived in. Sometime after Rook’s tail fell off, his father started sending him to learn under the elder, mostly by his old mentor, Kundo (Kooun-doe). Kundo was very much someone who voiced his distaste for other aliens, and the tech used across the galaxy, stuck in the old ways of life due to what his people used to go through. Rook was part of a group of students being trained under him, and despite what you might think, Rook was actually one of the worst students. He would stumble more often, struggle to handle Kundo’s rough words, and could never seem to master the tougher skills. It didn’t help that Rook could fight in his own way, and wanted to create his own techniques, but Kundo always dismissed the idea. Though, despite not liking these classes, something good did come from it for Rook, in a way. Everyday he would walk up to and from school, and on his way home once he encountered a young girl his age, who was struggling to round up a loose farm animal. After helping her out, she introduced herself as Rayona. They didn’t live near each other, and Rayona came from a much poorer family, not helping with the fact she would end up having 8 younger siblings that her parents couldn’t look after alone. But even with those hardships, Rayona was one of the kindest and understanding people Rook has ever met, and she was always willing to give people a chance and liked lending a helping hand. She was calm and wise for her age, and it didn’t take long for the two to form a friendship. Everyday after training from then on, Rook would always stop by and hang out with Rayona, and because of their friendship the two families would start talking and getting together too. Of course, no one was surprised when young Rook gained a massive crush on Rayona, and he eventually asked her out, which she said yes too, and they have been dating ever since, with both families approving. Rayona was always by Rook’s side to support him over the struggles of learning under Kundo, while he was there to support her when she had to take care of her siblings for her parents. The two provided each other a safe zone from all the stresses in their life. Then, one day after a long meeting with the Plumbers, parts of Revonnah agreed to let there be a few members in certain villages to keep an eye on things, Rook’s village being one of them. A man named Wat-Senn became their sheriff, and while the much older folk didn’t approve of him, like Kundo, he eventually charmed his way in and proved himself to most of the locals. Rook himself took a keen interest in him, because for years now Rook had been fascinated by the Plumbers and what they did, and was always interested in the idea of protecting people and seeing the galaxy, despite what his family might say. So Rook, on his spare down, would sneak off to go hang around the sheriff, who found Rook to be a nice young man, with a good dream to him. In secret, Wat-Senn would share stories about the Plumbers with Rook, even showing him a few things he learnt at the Plumber academy, a fighting style that Rook found worked better for him than most of what Kundo taught him. The only people aware of these visits were Rook’s siblings, and Rayona. Then came the day of the Highbreed invasion. Revonnah hadn’t been hit immediately, but they were near other planets that did, and knew it was only a matter of time until they were struck. They were in complete panic, even when people like Kundo claimed they could fight back. The entire planet waited for chaos...but it never came. Sheriff Wat-Senn received word that Ben Tennyson had stopped the invasion and saved the universe, with the Highbreeds changing their ways with their new leader, Reiny. Despite Revonnah’s lack of interest of the outside world, even this caught their attention, and many people saw leaked videos of the fight on earth, and eventually watched other videos of Ben Tennyson and his crew, Rook being one of these people. He was fascinated by the omnitrix, and Ben as a person, seeing him being a heroic hero in the face of danger. Regardless of it all, Ben stepped forward and saved the entire universe, with the power of many alien races, showing the importance and power they can bring together...and it was something Rook wanted to be a part of. After all that happened, Rook finally had the courage to speak to his father, wanting to now go to the Plumber academy. This did spark a discussion and argument, but Rook for once didn’t back down from his father, which his dad did notice. The fact that Rook was willing to stand up to his father like this, not back down, with such courage, did make Rook Da think about it...and while he didn’t like the idea of it, he gave Rook the approval to go, but told him that it will take him a long while to ever be ok with it entirely. Rook promised his father he would gain his approval one day, and after talking with his family, girlfriend and the sheriff, Rook eventually found his way to the Plumber academy, awaiting for the adventure in his future, and to be a hero just like Ben Tennyson.”

Notes:

Rayona studying medical practices

Rayona having an odd sense of humor (like ED from Mass Effect)

Cute cat traits (Sleeping in the sun, cuddling, staring at nothing.)

Sandra and Carl often inviting Rook over for dinner

Rayona and Rook being that lovey dovey couple

Both great with kids, given they are both the oldest siblings of their families

Both aren’t the jealous type

Rayona is the most equal and civil towards Ben, others either have conflict with him, or view him as a celebrity.

Rayona ended up actually being the best person for Ben to talk to about his failing relationships

Both already behave like parents

Rook struggling on what to do now that he’s a Plumber

Rook is secretly an extreme daredevil underneath

Rayona is great at singing, Rook is not (Sounds like a yowling cat)

While both have a protective side, Rayona is much more scary when she gets protective

Both overwork themselves

Rook cooks better than Rayona

Both have complicated relationships towards their parents, both for different reasons

[annabellenaughtyprincessrose]

My Brothers, The Lovers ❤ (Repost: Classic fanfic)

My Brothers, The Lovers *Revised version*

By Annabelle Naughty Princess Rose

Summary:I wouldn't trade my Brothers for anything in the world. SAM/DEAN/OFC. Wincest!

Rated: MA (18+)

Author notes: Hey guys! Well, I have  another classic fic of mine to share. This was a little idea I had while I wrote this story, an OFC sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, and thier growing forbidden bond. So, this is a Wincest story.

This story was recently published on my Fanfiction.net, as well as on live journal, Wattpad, and WordPress page. There may be some little changes I made because the story had bad typos. (Don't judge me.)

Please note: That this story contains Wincest. If you are uncomfortable with this nature, please DO NOT read!

Lastly, I don't own any characters. The story plot was my idea. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

(Reader's POV:)

I love my brothers. They are caring. They are protective. When you're feeling down, they turn your frown upside down. If it was over a guy, they would stop at nothing to nail his ass to a wall. Any person, whether boy or girl is lucky to have them.

I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything in the world. They are a godsend. Sam and Dean: my knights in shinning amour.

We been through a lot together. Since our father died, it has been hell on earth...literally!

But no matter, we had stuck it through till the end and now we could live our lives...

A lot has happened since we saved the world from certain doom. We had one hard challenge: to learn how to live normal lives. I mean, I know it sounds stupid to do one simple thing, but come on, In our eyes, we are hunters. We were born as hunters. I don't think the three of us couldn't shake the fact that life was over. It was the only thing we knew.

But still, we somehow mange to cope with it. We settled in Kansas with the help of our father's will. We brought a house pretty much like the one you see on those commercials with the white picket fence.

It was close to the University Sam was planning to attend to resume his studies as a attorney and close to Lisa, Dean's one last stand and his possible legitimate lovechild Ben. I, myself was planning to go to a local Community College. At first, I didn't really wanted to go to school, but Sam insisted that it was serve me well later in life.

Yeah, life was perfect... at least for the half of that year. The urge of the life of freedom were still brewing inside us. We miss the life with no worries, of bills, school, kids...

So we sold the house hop into the impala and left.

About three months after, I noticed that our bond was changing. I noticed Dean would at times, would make quick glances out from the corner of my eye. I really didn't pay to much attention to it at first because I thought it was something that brothers normally do.

But now I found at night when I take turns laying next to him or Sam, at times I could have swore I felt his eyes staring down at me while I sleep.

Sam on the other hand had a very different approach. There would be times whenever me and him are alone, he wouldn't normally act like your typical big brother. He would act as though like a boyfriend. When me and him are alone, He would be a lot closer than usual. At times when I'm in the shower, I could have swore that I heard him breathing on the other side of the curtain not to mention to very tall figure I see just standing mere inches.

I guess I'm just imagination things. That's it's all in my head. Or maybe, I have a bad case of thinking dirty. Can I help it? I am not going to lie. My brothers are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! They could get the princess of Cambridge a heat attack! I found that comment to be quite interesting! I begin to think the times when the three of us would be out, like geoceries shopping, bars,at the park. I have women rolling their eyes, whispering words about me, thinking that I was a whore for my brothers...

Nothing could prepare me for what happened two weeks later...

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a sleazy hotel. I was writing in my journal at the same time sneaking glances at Dean as he was wiping down the impala. The way he smiles as he glazes down at his baby makes me happy but a tad jealous...but he assure me that I was his main baby.

I could hear the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom. Sam,was inside, washing his god build form in the shower.

Turning my head, I couldn't help but grin as I saw a narrow view of his ass. Even after all these years, Sam still had a nasty habit about leaving the shower curtain open.

"Hey," Dean replies getting my attention. I turn my head towards him trying to look innocent."What are you smirking at?" He asks.

At his question, I raised my eyebrows giving him a side smile.

"Nothing. just a thought I was thinking." I looked up at him and I could tell he wasn't buying it. That's the thing I love about Dean, he has the sense to know whether something was troubling me or Sam...and he would stop at nothing to find out.

"About? I curious," He replies in a singing tone making me laugh.

"It's personal. My thoughts only," I winked. Finally he give up the debate and returns to his duty wiping down his impala.

Later that night, we decided to pay a visit at local bar. That day was the worst night of my life.

To be from what seemed, the only sibling with two very handsome attractive brothers was a bitch!

From the second we walk in, there were woman, whether their were in a relationship,married, or even betrayal their same-sex partner, had cornered us.

One was a blonde, who I can tell had the personality of stupid trying to seduce Dean with her luscious but totally fake breasts. While a brunette who was staring Sam down and was the bartender of the bar didn't give a damn if she had other people waiting to be served. It disgust me how women could be so depraved for a man.

I wanted to get out of there. The room felt as through it was trying to suffocate me. It hurt my heart to see I was the only one left out. To keep myself from bursting into tears, I did just that but my attempt to leave was cut short by a hand on by wrists.

Turning my head, I came face to face to a man who was pure hillbilly. He had messy hair,oily jumper and I remember that when I was at the bar, I would turn my head and he would smile at me.

"Where do you think you're going, darling?" The man asked. I can tell that he was drunk and had the slightest clue as what he was doing.

"Going home," I replied. "And I appreciated if you remove your hand from my wrist." I tried to Jerk him away but it was a useless attempt.

"I don't think so darling, You're looking very pretty there's no need for an angel face like you to scurry away..."He tried to pull me along, but I stood my ground. Then he does the unthinkable, He roughly pulls me against him loosing his balance completely falling on one of the now broken tables.

Everyone turned their heads Including Sam and Dean who immediately lest from their social gathering to my aid.

"Hey Asshole!"Dean replies as he and Sam walked over to the scene. "What are you doing with my sister?!" He began to throw insults at the poor man, while ignoring Sam's attempt to help me up, I stood up on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied. "The fat ass broke my fall."

"Fat ass?" The man shouted. "Who are you calling a fat ass you bitch!"

"Hey!" Dean shouted. reaching down to jerk the man up by his collar. "Don't fucking talk to my sister like that!"

"What happened?" Sam asked, taking my hand and I jerked it away.

"Oh! Like you care! he was trying to rape me!" I shouted. "Forget it! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The last thing I remember was Dean calling that fat bastard "a Son of a Bitch" before throwing punches and Sam trying to calm him down.

At the Hotel, I stood fully nude in the shoulder letting the warm water abuse my body. I was just so relieved that I got out of there.

So what I acted like a ass. So what if I act like a jealous girlfriend. I'm not going to be held responsive. I could hear the door to the hotel room opening following the distant voices between the two.

Dean was shouted some sentence that were inseparable and Sam was speaking in a mild tone. I covered my ears, to try to block out the conversation, along with the pounding of the door, but it a useless. Finally, I finished my shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and took a deep breath. I made my way out of the bathroom with my head down before glazing at the faces of my older brothers.

Sam, who now has a sad look on his face. His green eyes sparking with concern. Whilst Dean has a pissed off expression, trying his best to remain calm. There were no words that were unable to fall out of mouth. I just walked passed them and climb into to very large king side bed we shared with saying a unexpectedly surprising, I suddenly began to cry my ear out.

Almost immediately, Sam and Dean's expressions changed. If they were confused, I could say the same thing. The reason why I was crying, I couldn't understand. I was always the second tough one when it comes from intense situations, I guess with everything that we had been through together finally had took a toll on me. I see with my watery eyes Sam turned towards Dean and he nodded his head. without hesitation, they began to walk towards me.

Dean lay on my left, Sam lay on my right. They huddled up against me trying to console me. Sam was wiping away from my tears, while Dean began to rub small circles down my back.

This warm fuzzy feeling began to grow inside me. I gaze into Sam's eyes and I can see the easiness and calm in his face. Then I did the unthinkable. I reached my hand and caress his cheek and I leaned in a kiss him passionately on the lips.

There was no feeling I can't describe other than, I felt as through I explode into a million pieces. What was more shocking is that Sam didn't pull away. He gave in and began to response with my advances. Dean was anxious to show his passion. I could feel his lips on my neck, his hands trailed down to my breast giving them a firm squeeze.

I moaned in response breaking my lips with Sam replacing them with his. I tried to show my love for the both of them. Wanting to give them all of me...

Everything happen in a flash. the removing of clothes. The hot soft lips on my heated skin. The feeling of being completely filled. Like flipping a page in a book. Like riding the biggest wave and suddenly ,you're caught in the tide.I felt so much pleasure.

It felt like Heaven. It was heaven...

That was last night...

And here we are...

Today is a new day. I stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face as I felt warm naked bodies sleeping silently against me...

Nude Dean on my left...

Nude Sam on my right.

Right now, I can't say that God is pleased. Not with the events that had happened. Now, When I said I love my brothers...I love them more than just a sibling nature. I love them, I'm madly in love with them! When I think of their eyes and their smiling faces, it makes my body want to explode in fireworks.I don't care what people would say. I don't care if our father would turn over in his grave, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world! it always will be the three of us forever...

Sam and Dean,

My brothers, the lovers.

The End.

[anironsidh]

AnironSidh 2020 fic and moodboard masterpost

I didn’t write very much this year between the general mess of 2020 and senior year, but here’s what I did manage to write this year (sorted by fandom). If there’s no chapter count for a fic, it’s a oneshot

Queen/BoRhap

Just Keep Losing My Beat || jimercury Hogwarts au. Freddie Mercury/Jim Hutton (jimercury), Brian May/Roger Taylor (maylor). Hogwarts au, found family, maylor, jimercury, i will post more soon. Chapters: 7/?

Summary: Hogwarts is not ready for Freddie Mercury. Not even close.In which Brian May is trying to be successful, Roger Taylor is just confused, John Deacon doesn't want the spotlight, and Freddie Mercury just wants to find somebody to love and make his place in the world.

(Love Of My Life) Don't Leave Me || hardzello (for borhap summer cast event) for the @queenandborhapevents and written for @johndeaconshands. Hardzello, fluff, happy ending, love confessions, first kiss

Summary: Joe's worried about what kind of future he and Ben may have once the movie is no longer keeping them in the same place, and he may find something more waiting for him to ask. - Written for johndeaconshands on tumblr for the BoRhap Summer Event 2020

Love Was Such An Easy Game To Play || tyob 2020 gift fic for xofunghoul / @heybuddy-drabbles. This fic was for the @queenandborhapevents two years of borhap event. hardzello, flashbacks, fluff, picnic, proposal.

Summary: A look back at how Ben and Joe figured things out, got together, made a home with each other, and in which Joe has just one question in mind. - A gift fic for xofunghoul and the two years of borhap exchange on tumblr (modded by @maz-zello and myself). Prompt was for hardzello, fluff, domestic moments. I think I did pretty well, let me know what y'all think in the comments!

Phandom/Dan and Phil

For The Dreams of Youth || phandom reverse bang 2020 parent!phan au for the @phandomreversebang 2020. art by @akikaji and beta @rainbowchristy. Dan/Phil, fluff, parent!phan Chapters 2/3

Summary: Dan isn't quite sure about a kid of his own. It hadn't felt like a possibility, not until recently. He may find that he's more ready than he expected. Dan and Phil's journey towards parenthood told through a series of videos to one day hand over to their child.

I Wonder When We're Gonna Make It || phandom reverse bang 2020 (1980s au), for the phandomreversebang 2020. Dan/Phil, queen references, 1980s au, period typical homophobia, happy ending, angst with fluff. Chapters 1/2. art by @luisaloveshoney and betaed by @i-might-leave-soon / @eilidh 

Summary: When a new neighbor moves into the town that Daniel Howell has lived in his entire life and finds his safe spot in the town's vineyard, he will challenge Dan's view of himself and his town. Soon enough, they find themselves in an attraction nothing like Dan's ever known and one that those around them cannot understand. This may be Dan's only chance to escape and truly be himself. - A fic for a phandom reverse bang 2020 prompt in which Dan and Phil live near a vineyard, sneak grapes, drink stolen wine, and fall in love despite the times (1980s). Also, in which I project my love for queen onto Dan, because Muse doesn't exist yet and because I can.

I Ain't Gonna Face No Defeat a good omens au for the @phandomreversebang 2019, masterpost and art by @hiwatari-art here. Dan/Phil, good omens au, post bookshop scene, Crowley!Dan x Aziraphale!Phil. betaed by phanandpenguins/ @ringsandbutterflies

Summary: Daniel Howell has been stationed on earth for six thousand years, his only constant companion Phil Lester, an angel of Heaven. When his angel is nearly taken away from him he begins to realize just how important Phil is to him. -the bar scene in ep6 of good omens where Aziraphale is discorperated and Crowley is in the bar mourning him- Please be sure to check the art by hiwatari! Thanks to phanandpenguins for their beta work!

Good Omens

Songs Full Of Sad Things || Ineffable Husbands Raphael!Crowley for the good omens big bang. Crowley was Raphael, eventual happy ending, angst and fluff, wip. Chapters 8/15

Summary: -Crowley and Aziraphale are quite happy in their new Tadfield cottage five years after Armageddon, or rather, the armageddon-that-wasn't. They've settled into a routine with each other and the Them. Everything seems fine. Anathema and Newton are even getting married soon. -And then everything Crowley has built up for the last 6,000 years comes tumbling down with a visit from Gabriel and the revelation of his past, of how high he Fell. He hadn't wanted to remember his past as an archangel. Not now. His past is told bit by bit while those brought together by the almost-end of the world must pick up the pieces. - aka Crowley was the archangel Raphael, Gabriel's a dick, and Aziraphale just wants to help. Also, Warlock WILL fight anyone who hurts his Nanny, even God.

As You Wish || Good Omens/Princess Bride au, inspired by @anotherwellkeptsecret. Princess bride au, another one I promise i will get back to, eventual happy ending. Chapters 2/?

Summary: Warlock is sick and Nanny Ashtoreth reads him a story of romance and swordfights, perhaps inspired by a certain angel she knows. In which Aziraphale is Buttercup and in love with the handsome Crowley, a farm boy. When he is reported dead, killed by the Dread Pirate Nutter, Aziraphale falls into despair and eventually agrees to marry the devious Prince Gabriel. He is kidnapped by a con artist, Beelzebub, and their two henchmen in order to start a war. Crowley, who survived his rumored attack, rescues him from the trio. They must now free Aziraphale from Gabriel's clutches if they wish to have a new life with each other. Inspired by anotherwellkeptsecret on tumblr (penumbra on ao3)

Before I Lose You || gomens holiday swap gift for @gregayy and the Good Omens Holiday Exchange. post-canon, fluff with a sprinkling of angst but there’s barely any tbh, ineffable husbands, (technically for the gomens 2019 holiday swap, but it was posted on the third of january so I’m including it)

Summary: Armageddon has been averted, and yet their troubles are far from over. Heaven and Hell want their revenge for a Plan foiled. Crowley knows this far too well, knows he has far too little time for what he's wanted for so many centuries... Aziraphale. Believing they may not live to see another sunset, they take a step usually taken by humans. They've only got this one chance, don't they?aka they get married, believing they may not have another chance to, as requested by gregayy/scmnz

Can't You See || good omens ficlet for @wheeloffortune-design. Ineffable husbands, ficlet, happy ending, first kiss

Summary: Crowley being brave - wheeloffortune-design on tumblr. Based on this art, I think I wrote this instead of studying for a midterm lmao

Hobbit/LOTR

By His Side || Happy Hobbit Holiday 2020 Bagginshield fic for KeyWolf25888 for the @haveahappyhobbitholiday 2020 exchange. Gen, M/M, Bilbo/Thorin, happy ending, fluff, bilbo stays in erebor fic

Summary: Bilbo Baggins is just staying in Erebor for now, just until he knows every member of the Company will be alright after the Battles, but his feelings for a certain dwarven king may change his plans just slightly.Or, a Bilbo Stays In Erebor fic as requested by KeyWolf25888 for the Have A Happy Hobbit Holiday 2020 exchange! I haven't done much Hobbit fic in a while, but it was nice to get back to these characters. 

Reylo

you're nothing, but not to me || reylo fix-it. Rey/Ben Solo, poe/finn, tros fix it fic bc i was mad after watching that movie, I promise I’ll get back to it soon I just need to work out the plot (and it could also use a beta, if anyone’s interested) Chapters 3/?

Summary: The aftermath of the victory. They may have won, but what comes next? What happens when the battle is won, when the fight is over, but a former enemy is brought into their midst? What happens when Rey brings a near-death Ben Solo back with her? The remaining Resistance is not willing to forgive him easily for what he has done as Kylo Ren. It will not be easy, but it must be done.

Moodboards

Phandom/Dan and Phil

Phandom Reverse Bang 2020 Pride Au Moodboard, fics by @judearaya and @counting2fifteen Summary: Dan goes to pride for the first time, traveling to London on his own. He hasn't come out to his family yet, just a random person online called amazingphil. At pride, he sees a man (Phil) on a float and decides he has to talk to him. Eventually (maybe after a few times hanging out/dates) he finds out that Phil is amazingphil. The moodboard for my prb 2020 pride au, with fics by counting2fifteen and judearaya!

Queen

Royal Maylor au honeymoon in Japan

Queen Iliad au with hardzello, maylor, and deacury

Brian’s Birthday moodboard

Maylor Hamilton au

Jimercury Sad moodboard (hurts like hell)

Reylo

Titanic au

Moodboard for You’re Nothing, but not to me

Reylo good omens au

Moodboard for the Heartbreak Prince, fic by the wonderful @kylorenvevo (Thea)

Reylo Frankenstein au, idea partially by @indefinitelyindia

[jacepens]

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

[sometimesitrytowritethings]

Mountain Man: Part 7

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | PART 7 | Part 8

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Angst, Swearing

Summary: You never thought you’d love again. Then Arthur Morgan came into town. Fate continuously has you meeting each other in odd ways, and a troubled past is something you are both familiar with. Perhaps that’s what will make this time different.

-----

Mary had left in the early afternoon, pressing happy kisses to everyone’s cheeks, exactly as she had done upon her arrival. She promised to write and to send Ben plenty of candy from her next stop in San Denis, before making her way quickly to the train station with the help of Ms. Chadwick and one of the local stable hands. 

This left you plenty of time to finish up some chores, including laundering the bedsheets that Mary had borrowed, while Ben wore himself out again chasing the cat in the yard. The monotony of it left you to stew in the thoughts that had been plaguing you since seeing Arthur that morning.

He obviously hadn’t known that Mary was in town when he arrived, or when he had accepted your offer to get drinks. Otherwise, you were certain he would have never entertained the notion of drinks and dinner, let alone been so receptive of your adrenaline-filled kiss. 

And that’s all it was, wasn’t it? 

You had been through so much that day, had been so worked up from not only realising that your husband had been murdered, but also seeing his murderer face to face, that all of your emotions came rushing out at once. Nothing more, nothing less.

Arthur was attractive, sure. And excellent with Ben. And he seemed like a decent man - despite what Mary had said about him running with outlaws. But you barely knew each other… those feelings, the butterflies in your stomach, the way you couldn’t wait to hear his laugh, they were just symptoms of newfound puppy love. 

And you would get over it.

You would get over him.

After all, what use was there in pining after a man who was in love with someone else?

The rest of the day had passed without incident. You finished chores, Ben read a few chapters of his book and helped you out when you asked, the two of you had dinner. Soon enough, the sun was setting, painting bright reds and pinks across the sky in a way that was particularly unique to the Heartlands, and you were helping  your son into his bed.

Pulling the warm quilt up to his chin, you tucked him in and gave him a kiss on his forehead. He let out a long, exhausted yawn and looked at you with wide, innocent eyes. “Mama,” he said softly as you sat down on the side of his bed and brushed the hair away from his face. “I really liked Miss Mary.” Another yawn. “And she looked so happy today when she left. Do you think she’s gonna come back and visit us?”

You smiled at him, hand still on his curls that reminded you so much of his father. “We’ll have to see, sweetheart,” you explained to him. It was unlikely that Mary would be back in Valentine for a while, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him. One heart in the house had already been hurt today, you didn’t need to add his to it. “She did say she would write, didn’t she?” you continued, “And send candy from St. Denis.” A warm smile, just for him, graced your lips. 

“Do they have different candies in St. Denis?” his voice was growing even sleepier as he spoke. The boy had the astounding ability to fall asleep even in the middle of a conversation if he was tired enough. “I like candies…” Small eyelids fluttered shut and you felt his deep breaths on your arm. Asleep. 

You ran your hand gently to his cheek, looking at your child in adoration. So small. So gentle. So perfect.

If only Andrew were there to see him.

A lump found its way into your throat again, as tears threatened to spill. You stood carefully, making sure not to wake Ben and chiding yourself for being so emotional. Telling yourself it was because you missed your husband. Trying to convince yourself that it had nothing to do with the man you had somehow become so attached to in the past few weeks.

A few deep breaths calmed you down enough so that you could hold back your tears. There was no need to cry, especially if it would cause the poor, tired child distress. You could just go to bed, ignore your feelings, and everything would be fine in the morning.

Which is exactly what you had intended to do, until you were abruptly woken from your sleep a few hours later.

At first, you thought it was your imagination; your overwhelmed mind playing tricks on you. But then it happened again. And again. Your name rang in your ears, the sound coming from the front of your house. Each time it grew louder, the last syllable drawn out in a drunken slur, until you finally stood to look out the window.

To your shock, standing out in the grass and staring back up at you through the darkness, stood the hulking form of the man who had been on your mind all day. His hat was lopsided on his head, his body rocked back and forth as he tried to keep his balance. The man was completely drunk.

As soon as you realised who was standing in your front lawn, you darted down the stairs and out the door, foregoing slippers or a housecoat. The ground was cold under your bare feet, and the wind whipped through your nightgown, chilling you as you approached him.

“Ar-Arthur?” you called, just a few steps away from the porch. He started staggering toward you with a wide grin on his face. “What on earth are you doing here?” Your next question came out as more of a hiss, torn between knowing you needed to keep quiet and wanting to make your irritation evident.

Arthur, however, was anything but quiet. He barked out the laugh that you had come to adore as he reached you. “Comin’ to visit, o’course!” he slurred, his voice far louder than you would have liked. “Was out drinkin’ and couldn’ think o’ anywhere else I wanted t’ be!” he continued, reaching over to wrap an arm around your shoulders and pull you up the stairs. 

You turned to follow him, darting out from under his heavy grasp and in front of the door before he could open it. “Arthur…” you whispered, scolding him. “It’s 3 in the morning.” You hoped he would get the hint and quiet down a bit. Otherwise, the entire conversation would need to stay outside, lest you disturb the other members of the household.

He stumbled closer to you, his voice only slightly quieter. “What’s your…” he paused and leaned a hand against the wall behind your head to keep his balance. He was so close to you, bringing back memories of the previous night. His scent overwhelmed your senses. The smell of smoke, earth, hay, and whisky; it was almost too much. You wanted to bottle it up. “What’s your problem anyway?” he drunkenly whispered, his lips nearing your ear before he leaned his head on your shoulder.

“E-excuse me?” you stammered, frozen in place by the sudden contact. Sure, you had flirted and you had initiated whatever had happened the previous evening. But he was the one who stopped. He was the one who left with another woman the next morning. He was the one who showed up drunk on your porch in the dead of night. “Arthur, you barged in here while I was sleeping and-”

There is no reasoning with a drunk man.

“No, no no no no,” he murmured, lifting his forehead from your shoulder. Suddenly, he turned around and leaned against the wall beside you with a low thud. “That’s… ‘s not what I meant. What’s your problem…” One of his large, dirty hands came to his face and he began to massage his temples before continuing with a drunken sigh. “...Why you gotta go on makin’ me feel like this?”

You were completely flabbergasted. “What on earth are you talking about?” you spat, still trying to keep relatively quiet, yet unable to contain your frustration with the man. What exactly did you make him feel? From the way the last day and a half had gone, you had only assumed you had made him feel ashamed, or even embarrassed. Especially after he had run off for Mary in the morning.

He was still leaning back against the wall with his hand on his face when he spoke next. “I… I ain’t known you for a few weeks and…” he paused for a moment, before looking at you with a deep sigh. “... you’re all I think about.”

He was drunk. He was completely, utterly drunk. Three sheets to the wind. That was the only explanation. Because, god damn it, if he couldn’t stop thinking about you, then why the hell had he pushed you aside to see Mary? “Arthur, I think you need to lay down,” you sighed, turning to open the door. 

He could sleep on the couch, leave in the morning, and the two of you could forget this ever happened. It would be like you had just met. Like you didn’t even know each other. 

It would work. It had to.

As soon as the door was open, you gently clapped a hand on his shoulder and led him into the house. The floor creaked lightly as you directed him over to the living room, where the domino set was still lying out on the table. A blanket was draped over the back of the sofa, which you grabbed before directing Arthur to sit down. 

Instead, he stumbled across the room and to one of the windows overlooking the front yard. “See, there… there you go,” he rambled, raising a hand lethargically to indicate to you. His face was flushed with alcohol, and he looked at you strangely, a mixture of adoration and exasperation. “Walkin’ all ‘round here and pretendin’ to care about me. Flirtin’ and lookin’ at me with those pretty eyes o’ yours. Makin’ me forget that…” he paused for a moment, bringing a hand once again to his face as he leaned against the wall. “...ain’t no one really care ‘bout me. ‘m an old, ugly, angry bastard ‘n could never deserve someone like you.” He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes as soon as he finished his sentence, as if he were about to fall asleep standing right there.

You took a step toward him, trying your best to ignore the butterflies that had come to life in your stomach at his revelation. He was drunk, he didn’t know what he was saying. You should’t take him seriously. “Arthur, please,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. Whether it was from the fact that it was 3am or the overwhelming situation that you suddenly found yourself in, you weren’t entirely sure. “You’re drunk, come sit down.” With that, you reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, anticipating the electric spark of your touch on his skin with both dread and excitement.

He looked at you when your hand landed on his shoulder, but only for a moment. Quickly, he tore his eyes away from yours and shrugged your hand away, as if it hurt to be in contact with you. “‘n then Mary! Mary was here and was wantin’ me to come ‘round and help her and then scoldin’ me like always. ‘N here I am, jumpin’ at the chance to see her ‘n all she ever does is bring me down,” he continued, rambling, drunk. “But you, you’d never do that, you’re always so… so kind. Even to Mary… even to people you don’t like.” Staggering footsteps brought him to the couch, where he collapsed with a thud and leaned back against the cushions.

You were at a loss for words. He may have been completely wasted, but it was getting awfully hard not to believe what he said. It was getting awfully hard to keep stamping down the seed of hope that had embedded itself in your stomach. After all, the drunken man speaks the sober man’s thoughts, as they say. But you wouldn’t push him, you could talk about this in the morning. 

“I’ll get you some water.”

You pulled the blanket over his lap and made to leave the room, but were stopped by his hand on your wrist. He looked up at you with his beautiful teal eyes, making you weak in the knees. “I… I don’ need no water,” he said with a large yawn, covering his mouth with his arm. “I just… I jus’ came here to tell you how I feel. ‘Cus god knows I won’t be able t’ do it when ‘m sober. ‘n’ then I’ll leave and you won’t have t’ deal with this sour ol’ bastard ever again.” He finally let go of your wrist and looked down to his lap, taking a deep breath.

The couch creaked lightly when you moved to sit next to him, reveling in the warmth of his body next to yours. You turned to face him, placing a hand gently on his broad shoulder. “Arthur…” you didn’t want to continue the conversation about his feelings for now, but you would certainly not leave him alone to spiral into his self-hatred.

He didn’t let you continue, and instead kept quietly rambling on, staring at his hands. “I don’... I don’ deserve you,” he managed as his eyelids began to droop. He leaned his head back against the back of the old couch and looked at the ceiling. With a frustrated groan, he again brought his hand up to cover his face and continued. “But ‘m so sweet on you. ...feel like a stupid li’l boy again when ‘m around you. ‘N you don’ even feel the same. Or if you do… you shoa as hell shouldn’t.”

You had to swallow down the lump in your throat. You wanted to believe him, you wanted to lean into him and breathe in his scent and fall asleep curled together on the couch. You wanted to kiss him and tell him that you do feel the same, that you care about him too. 

But you were scared. 

He obviously still cared about Mary, and the last thing you needed to do was to get your hopes up and have them crushed. The two of you could talk about this in the morning, when he had slept all of this off and could think clearly again. “Arthur,” you said gently, prying his hand from his face and pulling it to his lap. You looked at him with the same gaze that you often gave your sleepy son when he refused to go to bed - amused, exhausted, affectionate. “You need to sleep.”

“Shoa, but I gotta tell ya…”  he grunted, sitting up straight and turning to look you in the eye.

You sighed, he really was being adorably uncooperative. “You’re drunk, Arthur. We can talk about this in the morning.”

“Last night… the other night behind the jailhouse…” he continued, despite your gentle pleas for him to sleep. “I… I felt better wit’chu than I have in years.” He looked away then, which was a relief. He couldn’t see the shock that spread across your face. “‘n’ then… ‘n’ then when I saw the look on your face this mornin’... you looked so happy t’see me… ‘n’ then I went ‘n’ asked for Mary…” he groaned, once again leaning back onto the couch in defeat. “‘n’ the look on your face… you looked so damn sad… ‘n’ it was all ‘cause of me…” He finally trailed off, lost in self-loathing, regretting that he had been the one to cause your pain.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to think. He needed to sleep. This couldn’t keep going. “Arthur, please…” you pleaded, reaching over and brushing your fingers gently through his hair; a trick you had learned when Ben was a baby. Maybe it would work on Arthur as well.

“No no no no no,” he groaned, leaning into your touch. Each word came out slower, more lethargic than the last. “I just... just gotta tell ya. If this was… if this was another life. If you wasn’t too good for me… I’d-” Suddenly, his words trailed off, followed shortly by a loud snore. 

You bit your lip to hold back frustrated tears and drew your hand away from his hair to look at him. He was finally asleep, leaning back against the worn couch with a blanket strewn over his lap. You were tempted to lie him down, make him more comfortable, but decided against it. It would be best if you avoided waking him. 

Instead, with one last glance, you let out a deep sigh and pulled the blanket over his broad chest. Quietly, you stood and made your way out of the room and up to your bedroom. You climbed quietly into your bed, where you lied awake for the rest of the night; unable to stop thinking about the man on your couch downstairs.

[cto10121]

ok fine FINE here's a review on shadow and bone, good, bad, and ugly

the good

mal. almost everything about him is improved from the books and his POV is fully expressed here. the childhood bf to lovers trope is finally justified

the casting. spot-on for the most part, especially jesper, everyone really works well together.

there is an obvious sense of the show being conceived by people and portrayed by actors who actually like the original material, which is refreshing af. must approve

ben barnes

no seriously everything about ben barnes

alina and the darkling. these two, i just can’t

the crows were consistently good and they were well-integrated with the main storyline for the most part. that they they didn't accomplish much i don't even mind much, since they were enjoyable enough

the darkling being such an unabashed simp for alina is beautiful and hilarious and i am here for it. i am the elmo basking in hellfire with his hands outstretched for this

alina has more agency here, especially in her relationship with the darkling, which is passionate and sexy completely consensual. my oh my

the ~diversity~ being natural and organic for once. actually alina’s and mal’s biracialness does justify their outsider status, more so with alina. it gives an extra dimension why alina is so resistant to new life at the little palace and why she clings to mal instead of ugly-duckling thing from the books

the goat

but now the bad

in changing the relationship dynamic between alina and mal from plain-girl-with-unrequited-crush-on-jock-childhood-bestie, the show inadvertently removed genuine conflict and rationale for certain plot beats. here there is no real reason for alina and mal not to have gotten together—they clearly liked each other, alina is not under the impression mal doesn’t like her, mal passes up a chance to hook up with zoya to get her food...what gives? and so the malina ship feels more like a sibling/familial relationship because it lacks tension and genuine conflict. even when alina admits to something happening between her and the darkling, mal is immediately and unconditionally supportive. you’d think a teen boy would at least struggle a bit to accept his crush with a hot older grisha general whom he distrusts. i don't know, it feels way too idyllic. mal is just too damn perfect. there’s just no place their relationship can go from here story-wise but down

the darkling’s character is still very ambivalent. fun as it was to see, in making the darkling an (almost) total simp, barnes removes the chance for some inner conflict. book!darkling clearly felt conflicted over his attraction towards alina and the obstruction it had on his plans. show!darkling meanwhile is nigh planning the wedding from the war room scene on, and he was clearly taken with her beforehand. this succeeds not only in audience-baiting darklina something awful, but it makes the plot twist of his villainy something hard to accept. before this the only thing obviously manipulative the audience knows that he does is the blue iris thing—and that scene is hilarious in its comic timing. add in the strong beauty-and-the-beast/hades-persephone vibes, the symbolism of light/dark, ying/yang, the coolly composed ruthlessly villainous sophisticate versus the fiery orphan pure of heart naïf...yeah. suffice to say, darklina is the most popular ship for a good reason. sometimes, and only just sometimes, the fangirls are right.

speaking of which. the baghra tells alina about the darkling scene. the most fucked up plot point of the books, and they not only kept it in, but kept it in faithfully with few to no alterations. *facepalms* suffice to say, alina trusting baghra so readily makes even less sense in the series than in the books. they even included a flashback scene of the origins of the fold that subtly contradicts baghra’s account to alina (the darkling didn’t create the fold on purpose, it was an accident). if the plan was to make the darkling into a full-out series villain, they definitely failed

not only that, but it threw away the growth of alina’s arc!!! she was just coming to accept and own her powers, making friends at the little palace, pursuing the darkling, etc. she was a much more interesting character than the whinefest (safety and luxury, o heavy burden) of previous episodes. and now, knowing the books, they will start her out in the same position again in the second season, suppressing her powers yet again, and all for basic beefcake mal. i hate this direction, i hate it to bits, fuck it fuck it fuck it

the crows felt like comic side characters here instead of the more well-rounded figures they are in soc. which isn't a bad thing and actually the show did benefit a lot from their comedy, but it did make them much less compelling. hopefully season two will delve deeper

the ugly

i remember baghra telling alina that to seek refuge with some grisha faithful to her by going right at the fork of the tunnel, but instead alina chooses to go left on her own???? and this is not explained??? am i misremembering or???

a lot of beautiful shots interspersed with weirdly clumsy shots and direction? is it just me or did some of the blocking feel off?

the worldbuilding, albeit more consistent and unified, still lacks depth and is a trifle incoherent, but that is again something that plagued the book series as well.

the writing was a bit uneven; some strong, sharp lines but also quite a bit of weak lines i had to mentally rewrite.

alina's antler flesh necklace. they really went there, didn't they?

this is a malina show all the way, and for reasons i have already explained...yeah. there is still a chance, of course, that they do not do malina endgame, but with bardugo involved, it's doubtful. only if they do come to conflict over creative differences and bardugo leaves would the show be able to go in that direction, (or bardugo simply giving up and accepting this show as the canon-divergent fanfic it is). but one thing i am absolutely sure they will do is bait the audience with darklina.

mal fighting the darkling in the fold (!!) and actually holding his own. what malina propaganda dumbfuckery is this

this show probably did need to be at least ten episodes. the eight we got were fine and tight, and i don't blame the showrunner in the least for opting for the high budget, but again, some plot beats did not feel as natural or organic as they could have been. could have used the extra time

so my fix-it for season two regarding the alina-darkling-mal drama: have an actual good-guy (or even worse-bad-guy—maybe a hitler-type royal who begins to ramp up on oppressing and maybe even killing off all grisha after the darkling’s betrayal. maybe vasily? vasily sounds right) alternative to the darkling and not just "gather up the amplifiers and destroy the fold and discount lord voldemort." continue with the arc of alina learning and controlling and overall owning her powers, the force connection with the darkling, and mal torn between his fealty and his fear over her powers (maybe alina realizes sooner that she can control the darkling's powers too, muddy the waters a bit). maybe he and alina have a genuine falling out, he defects (temporarily before he comes to his senses) to the hitler guy, and alina and darkling, both hurt over their respective betrayals, come to a middle in their respective sides (alina realizes that hatred towards the grisha is a very real problem and the darkling realizes, from watching alina do her thing, maybe even with nikolai, of a different way towards grisha-acceptance, and alina and he are not really on different sides) and reluctantly team up or work together at the some point. oh, and the crows get involved somehow. i don't know. just something different from the mess that was siege and storm and ruin and rising.

[getreadytosmash]

Small smash headcanons I was thinking of and to put out my reboot designs

Skaar

Skaar took a more gladiator look from his time on Sakaar and no longer wears the loin cloth except for when he's on off days

His hair gets to around his upper back and often tends to be in buns and ponytails

Working on his reading and writing and gets help from Hulk and goes to the Xavier Institute for sessions with his mind control and memories

Got introduced to queer stuff by Rick and he was THRILLED to find out about this stuff and the footage of Skaar carefully picking out non binary, asexual and panromantic stuff was trending for a month

Yes I'm going into pridecanons a little more

Skaar's very happy with his own feelings of being nb. The rocks below him whisper about it always being fine and he doesn't need to care about what others say anyway. Not when they're too busy calling him a monster to care about his gender

Anyway. Skaar's sex neutral and I say this because its quite often the theory that all ace folks won't have kids blah blah but??? Some aces want sex to have kids and that's Skaar.

Ridiculously good sword fighter and often meets up with Nightcrawler and Shadowcat to have sword fights and compare tricks

Lots of whipping scars on his back and some around his mouth that hardly anyone knows are from

Has a matching scar with Red of a circle on the back of his neck as well as running lighting scars up his hands and feet with Rick, Red and Jen from where the Skrulls tried to harvest their gamma

Absolutely has the tattoo and has no clue about it

Occasionally has days where he can't remember the entire event and Skaar's become rather thankful that they can rely on Rick's cameras to guide him home if needed.

Adores the Savage Lands and is best friends with Kazaar and Zabu

Sometimes copies memes from Rick and it’s terrible

Likes having Jen help him with normal stuff, especially when she helps him learn stuff like reading and writing 

Rick

Yeah, can’t feel anything and that causes a few secret depression episodes aha 

Big on other sensory stuff now. Really likes to savour sights, sounds, taste and smells since he lacks a big ass part of it now. It really isn’t that uncommon for Rick to have a low of flowers within his bedroom and shit. 

Has to file down his spikes since they keep growing and often Hulk does it for him while Rick falls asleep

Rick needs a lot more protein now and often eats eggs or fish and gets into big fights with Red over it daily

Uses a stylish for everything since his fingers don’t work on touchscreens anymore

Often wears sleeveless jackets with different pins. Owns four of them with three of them entirely dedicated to alien, mutant and bi rights

Well known Youtuber and I really need to get around to writing some videos he’s done god someone remind me to put out that shit

Hardcore gamer and still screams at Samuel to help make a dating sim come oN-

Can hold his breath for an hour and a half and didn’t realise until he fell asleep in the bath and got woken up by Hulk panicking and tossing him out of the water

Very intent on mutant rights and often helps out with teenage mutants and raising the social status of the school 

Loves bi culture and is very defensive over aspects of his identity after years of feeling lost among the orphanages 

Has gotten more comfortable with his gender since he’s been wearing kilts and skirts for almost two years now

Used to have scars across his hands and thighs from years of canings from the nuns but now has a large cracked scar across his chest after Abomination ripped his shell off

Red unintentionally fathers him and blames Hulk 

Best pals with Jen and Betty and is the only one who gets to join them on Ladies Night with Lyra and Marlo

Stands on his tip toes when talking to Hulk often because he wants to be tall and it amuses Hulk to no end

Jen

Has a lot of different costumes she changes regularly and Rick always posts a vote on “What outfit has Jen got this week?”

Freckles and curly hair galore 

Hulk paints her nails and she does the same for him and it isn’t long before Skaar joins in

Works in New York but stays at Vista Verde for her time off

Yes i do want a all female gamma mutate team and yes they are A-force

They consist of Jen, Betty, Lyra, Carmilla and Marlo but are sometimes joined by other female heroes

Wears sweatband wrists, left one is the bi flag and the right one is the trans flag

Was afraid about being open towards loving women for a few years since Jen knew her father didn’t do anything about Bruce’s abuse, what would happen to her if Brian found out she liked more than boys? Came out after hulking out and is happier than ever

The same goes for being trans since Jen’s form is based heavily on her mentality of her body. Gamma gave Jen the body she wanted and she was SO pleased with it

tbh I do imagine she was more comic/noodle armed at the start since Jen wanted to look rather feminine but over time she’s gotten more comfortable with her body and idea of who she wants to be and slowly she got beefier 

Has two wardrobes at the base and makes Red help rearrange stuff for laughs

Pals with Samuel and often enjoys sitting around and dragging him out for shopping and starbucks while discussing cases

The one who appears in Rick’s youtube videos the most 

Can never finish a book and feels deep seeded adhd guilt

Sings outloud to every thing she hears 

Likes grape flavoured stuff and she is so thankful that she can’t die for that sin

BEST pals with Betty and Rick. Like. There’s a reason my “Betty is the OG Hulk and is a lil wlw with Jen” has happened honestly 

Has vitiligo patches of grey around her arms that were left over from her more traumatic transformations

Watches Red bake if she’s having a panic attack and the videos don’t help

Red

Has a lot of scars over his body from where Ghost Rider’s chain dug into him and left him burnt. idk seems really fucking cool

Like Jen, has yellow patches along his spine and hands from where he was joined mentally with Zzzax 

Still gets nightmares about said incident and is still scared for the day that a nightmare is actually happening

Started to bake because it helps from when he couldn’t control his heat powers or during ptsd attacks

Tends to get lost in work alongside Samuel, especially if they’re overly excited about a certain idea

Hulk fondly calls him a nerd for this exact reason and Red tackles him over it to this day

Tech reacts to him badly sometimes due to his possession issues and there’s been once or twice where he’s had some...odd experiences when it’s come to certain technology or alien tech

Stays the same mostly with his outfits but occasionally wears a leather jacket and fuck it takes his shirt off a lot he’s a dilf he can do that 

The one who crouches for humans the most and it isn’t uncommon for him to do it purely to unsettle the humans. Ass

Uh. Likes women but??? Sometimes there’s an annoying guy and shit being able to be easily suplexed now means that anyone who can do it can kinda catch his eyes and he fucked a demon- uh. Red has a lot of thoughts now about dating and it’s nerve-wracking

Still does missions with his Thunderbolt team and still hangs out with Hell’s Circle team when he met others that had been dragged down to hell as well

Gets courted by vampires and hates the fact that the others laugh at it 

Gets nightmares of crashing, of electric burning him away but doesn’t want to admit to the fact that he has some ptsd 

Not really Red but fuck it Betty has her own team and I’m shifting the Gamma Corps for Betty so her team involves; Betty (Harpy), Marlo (Sirin), Clay (Hulkverine), Lyra (Athen), Carmilla (Scorpion) and Gwen (Daydream) 

Right. Uh. So for those who don’t know who Daydream are, basically the writer at this time had been going through a bad divorce and he treated Betty like SHIT which involved breaking Bretty up before they could have a child, making Betty suffer a miscarriage, killing her and having the villain Nightmare raping her in her sleep and having Betty give birth to Daydream who appeared for one arc and was never seen again. So. I’m mad. 

anyway fuck him but I did like Daydream so instead she was an experiment from gamma base as a unique weapon that got used to infiltrate the Agents sleep but was later on rescued along with the rest of the gamma experiments. Got adopted by Betty when she found out Gwen had her DNA and went “oh worm?” to getting a baby i have more thoughts about this but u know. carry on.

Hulk

So Tired. Part time team leader and Avengers and even has his many own adventures of trying to help so many people out

I imagine he has a lot of the same issues as Steven in suf where Hulk often stresses out more about not being able to help people since he worries about the worst case scenarios 

Gets forced to take days off by each of the team and appreciates it but dear god if he doesn’t get anxiety about the whole situation every time

SomeTIMES he wears a blue shirt but only sometimes and that’s if he’s actually prepared for missions. Also has boots Red got him but Hulk keeps those clean and safe instead

Team dad for a reason. Fathers anything he can get his hands on and well known for it enough that Rick and Skaar get him something for fathers day every year and Jen gets him goofy ties because she KNOWS he doesn’t throw them out

Pretty relaxed about being pan and yes he makes jokes about being attracted to kitchenware he’s THAT terrible Rick wants to die and not come back pls 

Buys a lot of pride stuff for the others. Skaar owns so many nb and ace colour chalks he needs help

Really wants to own a guinea pig but he’s worried about scaring it or not being around all that often to take care of it properly

Falls asleep through almost every movie that he usually starts one half of it one day and finishes it the next day

Meets up with Ben Grimm and Logan Howlett every Wednesday for a night out. Usually they do bowling, play cards or go out to eat. It’s isn’t uncommon for other heroes like Spidey or Gambit to join them occasionally

Has business lunches with Betty to discuss movements of gamma mutates that turns into a fun brawl because they’re immortal children

Keeps a whiteboard in his room so that he can have arguments with Joe and Bruce.

Samuel

Keeps his outfit relatively the same but adjusts it slightly so it isn’t the exact same outfit he wears back when he was evil

Tends to cover up more after he gains a power that lets him control people just by touch

Aware of this power and thus often awkwardly flitters when someone near him might be upset and keeps spare gloves or arm sleeves on hard just in case

Has the sharpest teeth of all the hulks and actually tends to file them down so he doesn’t need to “scare people off” when in reality he’s self conscious about his teeth and the fact that he keeps biting his tongue by accident 

Buys and redesigns Icarus’s cage every other month to make it more elaborate, is currently fighting the constant urge to buy more rats for this reason

Demiboy! Fine with what he is, doesn’t give a shit. He rules hell and he’ll send you there if you argue with him so who the fuck cares if Samuel wears dresses and makeup?

Big stupid bi. Cannonly into women who are more powerful than him with examples being Rikki (Aka Brilliance, a female Leader) who kicked his ass and threw him across the room with her more advanced mind, Betty Ross...who can blame him, and lately is that one scientist in Hulkverine who Samuel literally fell for within one night sksksk

Big manipulator for people he cares about. Samuel has and will make elaborate plans to keep someone he cares about safe and is more than willing to kill anyone who has hurt his loved ones

Owns a large collection of nail polishes and tends to vary them when he’s bored and creates amazing art. Red watched Samuel once spend and hour re-creating all of Van Gogh’s paintings on his nails

Really good friends with Betty surprisingly, mostly because she can make jokes about being dead and he’ll just snort and go “same” 

Has the second best sense of smell after Skaar as he can smell early signs of sickness as well as a wider range of emotions

Info dumps so much and has long winded theories about the oddest things that resonate really well on the Youtube channel

talks to his oversized rat so seriously

Suffers nightmares and currently runs the Down Below and is so tired

Has actually died from exhaustion twice already 

Has large sockets in his back due to the fact that Samuel physically cannot hold the information he knows all the time and uses it to charge his phone

Still hangs out with villains like Loki and Mystique tho

[sith-renegade]

So after the anon I got, which it was a fair point given, I felt like I needed to do a bit more...analyzing of a Maul x Ahsoka platonic ship.

So bare with me, this is long and yes I know that some of you will disagree or hate me, but just hear me out

Firstly when they meet, Ahsoka is 17 when she first meets Maul.

Ahsoka is determined to help Bo-katan more so then doing good for the Jedi. But she also wants people to believe in the Jedi, to do good and maybe even give someone like Obi a different view on how to help and not be so political. She sees Maul as a corrupt and evil being who needs to be brought to justice despite knowing how corrupt the justice is personally from her own experience of being blamed falsely. 

On top of that Maul has never met Ahsoka but he is absolutely fuming with rage towards her because he sees a lot of Obi-wan in her and of course he hates Obi to death. Like literally if thoughts could kill poor Obi would be dead 1000x over again.

Now with this there is no way Maul or Ahsoka would see either attractive of have love interest towards one another. 

Maul more so wishes to find a companion to help over throw his former master, sidious. 

Ahsoka sees right through maul and sees how corrupt he has become and that even if she did help him, there is no saving him because he was trained to be like this and its the only way he knows of living. While he feels like he’s on top of the world, there is no point in trying to reason with Maul. Not to mention Maul would see Love as a big distraction, something Sidious would have made sure of to ensure his own rise to power didn’t come at any cost of stupid emotions. Only hatred being the only emotion Sidious permitted Maul to have.

Now dare I go into the fact that Maul literally left Ahsoka for dead. He was pissed that she was happy to toss him aside and let him die while she, in his eyes, selfishly tries to find a way off the ship. Which therefore drives Maul all the more to that insane state of his but also gave him determination to kick ass and cause some chaos.

There is just so much there to say that these two hate one another. Maul would never see things from Ahsoka’s point of view but he is willing to try and bend and twist her words and the jedi code to get what he wants.

Where as Ahsoka tries to see the good but quickly realizes what Maul is up to and knows that her hand to hand combat is on par with his and doesn’t hesitate to try and end things quickly then let it escalate and Maul escape.

So where does that leave us with a ship between the two?

Firstly no where. Canon wise these two hate one another's guts. Maul becomes a crimelord and seems to prize Crimson Dawn over the other syndicates and when he meets Ahsoka again she already knows what game he is up to. There is no way that these two would even come to acknowledge one another as the same. Maybe Ahsoka to some point but she would still see the evil corruption Maul has in him and that he can never redeem himself.

In Rebels Ahsoka is 31. Maul is roughly 51 in the start of Rebels so that puts a good 20 years between the two. Which means that during his fight with Kenobi in Phantom Menace, Ahsoka was probably just born, or the year after as Maul was roughly 22. 

Now despite age they also have a way of living. Both are similar, the sith see certain things like romance and such to be a distraction, you have Revan to partly blame for that. Where as the Jedi do not form any attachments to others.

Either way there is literally no way Ahsoka would come to love Maul and Maul would never come to love Ahsoka. Mauls reason would be pure fear of letting his guard down and then being cast aside and more so because its a distraction. Ahsoka on the other hand would not form an attachment to Maul simply because she knows he will try to bend it to his own will. 

However if in a situation Maul was taken down multiple pegs to the point he is a shattered man, you might see some form of companionship between them. It would have to end up as a ship that is platonic, but still I don’t think Ahsoka would truly allow herself to drop her guard around Maul. And vise versa.

Given what we see in Rebels with Ezra and Maul, Maul obviously is desperate for companionship but also someone to be his apprentice, to do the hard work like what Sidious did to him when he was younger.

So for a platonic ship between Ahsoka and Maul it would have to be a mix bag of good and bad but I dont like the idea of toxic. I think they would spar but neither try to kill one another. Unless Maul felt Ahsoka would kill him. [Ben solo vibes ya’ll]

Now how I would go about it all is a little simple in a way.

Firstly Maul would have to have lost his connection and power to the crime lords and gangs, which in canon he does but still has a hold on Crimson Dawn. He would have to feel helpless and maybe even lost on a desolate planet of some sort. Ahsoka would be willing to help him but only because she wants to do some form of good and try to show Maul there is a better way to living.

Now they aren’t going to look at each other and suddenly eyes turn to heart shapes. No. It would more so be like Ahsoka being the Master and showing how to find balance and teaching that to Maul and Maul at least attempting to do the same by showing her his ways. It would turn into more of a Gray Jedi situation. Except it would be Ahsoka learning and Maul trying to gain a new apprentice. 

If I was to try and make it fit into the canon verse it would have to be a simple companionship, maybe more so platonic like Hordak and Entrapa kinda. One helps the other but the other refuses the help but over a long period of time they come to terms with one another and just acknowledge each others existence more then ‘uwu I love you’ at first sight bs.

It would more be based on adventure, overcoming the rising risk of the empire and to suit the whole star wars canon it would have to be a short companionship that ends with Ahsoka having to run away hence Mauls statement in rebels “ running away again lady Tano?” and also having to tie ends up, lead with Maul ending up losing control of the other crime syndicates but Crimson Dawn to which he prizes and begins to plot and scheme away like an evil crime lord. To put it simple I want it to be a normal struggle of life for them, both living on the run and trying to come to terms with each other but still struggling to give up hate and revenge while Ahsoka learns a few things but doesn’t give in to the dark side. While one learns wisdom the other learns to work in the shadows.

To me that would be the only ship between the two. Not Ahsoka suddenly turning 18 and Maul giving her googly eyes. No that's just wrong. It wouldn’t work given all the heartache between both sides. It would only work if Maul was taken down a peg many years after their last encounter, left to die and Ahsoka just rocks up like “So this is where chaos gets you? “ 

That is my plan for an Ahsoka and Maul fanfic. Maybe its not exactly a ship, but in a way it kinda is. But the truth is they would never fall in love like Raven and Bastila love romance stuff. And there is no way any smut would happen. Not sayings its impossible but simply put with both their personalities, it just wouldn’t happen. But there you have it. A long winded version of my thoughts for a ship between such characters. Not to justify myself but simply to plot and let people know that not every ship has to revolve around smut. 

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Mad About the Boy

Word Count: 1,345 Character: John Whittaker 

(ARTIST APPRECIATION SUBMISSION)

Hi friends! Juuuuust sneaking in before the weekend officially ends here on the East Coast so I can stick to my #WhittakerWeekend schedule. Really- whose demeanor is better suited for weekends than John’s? No one’s, that’s who. So this submission is admittedly a little different than the others that I have written for, because I am actually tying it to Let’s Face the Music & Dance (hope you don’t mind!!) as a sort of side piece, though you do not need to know anything about that story to understand this...or to understand that it is a SERIOUSLY stunning piece of art. When @alraedesigns​ sent me this submission by @pheedraws​ we both admitted to thinking it was a photograph the first time we saw it, and then we talked about how we each freaked out over the fact that no, it is not a photograph, but a painting- a flawless, intricate, beautiful painting. Of a flawless man with a stunning smile. 

So Phoebe, from @alraedesigns​ (and I) and let’s face it anyone who has seen your work: THANK YOU FOR BLESSING OUR EYES WITH THIS MASTERPIECE. YOU ARE TALENTED. YOU ARE APPRECIATED. YOU ARE OUT OF THIS DAMN WORLD. 

(His smile is everything that is good in this world. Prove me wrong, you cannot.)

Mad About the Boy 

There were certain books she read depending on the time of year. The majority of her literary consumption consisted of things she’d never read before, usually new works from her favorite authors, or else recommendations from friends with similarly discerning taste to her own. Mattie’s reliable, but I simply can’t get through the drivel that Angela enjoys. She ran her fingers over the spines of the leather and cloth bound titles that graced the shelf she’d deemed only for her favorites; Madame Bovary, Tess of the D’Ubervilles, A Doll’s House, A Room with A View. Each had their time to shine in her cycle of new and old reads. But she passed them all up in favor of another, one she always read in the final days of Summer, when golden sunlight melted and dripped from the sky to gild the leaves of trees instead, when she was reminded how quickly things can change and how important it was to live now. Lawrence understood. 

She found the book she’d been looking for and pulled it from the lineup. Lady Chatterley's Lover. A door closed somewhere in another room and she sighed, swiping one hand over the cover and greeting it with the sort of smile one would share with a close friend. He needs his time to himself, and I need mine. I don’t ask what he… where he goes. And he doesn’t ask what I… While some… let’s face it, most… women would find their arrangement deplorable, Larita found it quite agreeable, and so did Jim. 

She wasn’t sure if she loved him, and she honestly wasn’t sure if she wanted to. With him it was always more about being seen and heard and respected than it was about physical attraction or romantic feelings. The fact that they happened to have good chemistry was somewhat of a cherry on top of what they’d both come to accept was the best case scenario for a pair such as themselves. If I’m putting myself out to pasture at least the company will be good. She knew that the third time rarely was the charm, and he knew that whatever part of him might have made for a good husband the second time around never made it home from the front. No need to push our luck on love. 

Crossing the parlor, she curled herself into the tufted armchair in the corner, opened her book and began to read. With Jim, she never had to abide by the staunch rules that other men- American, English, I imagine it wouldn’t make a difference where they came from- would enforce on her through marriage. Long lists of expected skills and hobbies, none of them useful in any real way, and short lists of appropriate clothing styles; even shorter ones of acceptable reading material. If that was the price to pay for love, then perhaps love wasn’t what she needed anymore. 

She’d loved her first husband, deeply and completely and he’d loved her too, fiercely and unquestioningly, and it still ended in a heartache she’d never fully heal from. Affection, interaction, physical touch... they could all be had without-  Turning the page, she sucked in a breath as a photo slipped out and into her lap. Larita let the book fall closed against her thighs, thin fingers plucking the photo from where it had landed, unfolding the crease across the bottom from where it had been pressed against the book’s binding. Oh, John… 

It was a photo from their wedding day, his young face lit with excitement, his dark eyes shining like the small but clear diamonds that once graced her left ring finger.  His smile on any given day was the most genuine she’d ever seen, but the way he’d looked at her that day, when he naively promised her forever… No one will ever look at me that way again. She let her fingertips slide over his face in the photo, a wistful smile forming on her own lips. No one ever could. When he’d told her that he couldn’t have loved her more than he did, she knew that he was telling the truth, that he believed with all of himself that he was giving her all that a person could give, all that a person could love. She loved John- loved his light heart and free spirit, adored the wide-eyed wonder with which he viewed the world. She loved the way she felt when they were together and she loved him for making her feel it. But I was foolish to think that it would be enough- that she would be content with what someone else deemed all the love that they were capable of, but only a fraction of the understanding that came with that word. Oh, John, it wasn’t your fault, not at all. Whereas some women- no, most- might turn bitter in the face of a failed second marriage, Larita felt only well wishes towards her ex-husband. I hope you find someone to give all that light to, John, someone who your love will be enough for, someone who’s mad about you.

Unsure of what to do with the photo- I can’t put it back in the book...I’ll only be surprised by it again next year, but… she looked down at it...I can’t throw it away either- she tucked it into the pocket of her trousers just as she heard her name, Jim announcing his return and calling out to find her. “In here,” she responded, closing her book and setting it down on the cushion she’d just vacated. He stepped into the room, expression much more tense than it was when he left only an hour or so earlier. “Everything alright? You look-”

“Hilda’s engaged to be married. Did you know?” His hands went straight into his pockets, a deep frown cutting across his face and she stepped closer to lay a hand on his arm. Perhaps she wasn’t in love with him, but she cared for the man, cared about the things that upset him. 

“Of course I didn’t know, I wouldn’t keep that from you, you know that.” It was true and he knew it. And I know that he knows it. It was easier, avoiding tiffs when emotions could be de-escalated before they came to a head, and Larita saw that she was right, Jim’s brow unfurrowing. “How did you hear the news?”

“There’s to be a party next month at…” he sniffed, “Well at the estate. I’ve just run into Martin Horning and he relayed the message.” Larita winced at the hurt that only she would have caught in his tone- the hurt that he hadn’t warranted an invitation. “Larita? Do you think...should I, should we go?”

Blinking quickly she felt her lips drop open. It had been one thing to see John’s picture unexpectedly, but seeing him in person when things had been left the way that they had… that was something else entirely. She let out a breath and shook her head slowly. “No, Jim, I...that’s not a good-” 

“She’s my daughter! Don’t I...shouldn’t I?” 

“And she didn’t invite you.” She said it as calmly and as soothingly as she could, real empathy in her heart as she took his cheeks between her palms. “Maybe the best gift you can give her, give all of them is…” She thought of John’s face, smiling in her pocket and how he deserved a chance to find someone to bestow it on. She thought of Hilda’s innocence and charm and how she deserved the happiness that came with those things. “Is just to let them move on from…” She felt a tear in the corner of her eye and didn’t even try to blink it away. “From us.” 

Jim brushed his knuckle over the apple of her cheek, ridding the tear as she knew he would. He sighed, the sound sad and low, but his face softened. “As usual, darling,” another deep breath came from his lungs as he conceded, “I believe you’re right.” 

.

.

.

Thank you a million times to all of you fabulous artists! If you are an artist in the Ben Barnes fandom, or you want to surprise an artist with a quick drabble based on their art, send me a message and link me to the posted artwork. Let’s show these talented folks how much we appreciate them and the things that they create!

[megalony]

Power play- Part 2

This is the second part of my King! Ben Hardy series which is like my other series Fatal Attraction, I hope everyone likes it, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh​

Series taglist: @storiesfrommirkwood​ @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

Ben Hardy masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Ben falls for (Y/n), the Queen of England and is willing to give up the right to his own throne to marry her. But he knows that if he does, there will be a power play in the relationship because one will have more power and control than the other.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When is the engagement ball to take place, ma'am?"

(Y/n) turned her head to look at Mr Hardin who was stood beside the far end of the desk she was sitting behind. Just the mere thought of the engagement ball sent butterflies tingling through her stomach and swarming their way up to her chest.

She knew she was lucky. Her mother had been very close to arranging suitors and getting marriage agreements set up on (Y/n)'s behalf and she knew those people her mother would have chosen wouldn't have the kindest of intentions. People wanted her to marry so she would be tamed, she she would be controlled and whoever she married was clearly going to want to take her position as Monarch and rule the country for her instead of with her.

Ben was saving (Y/n) from that fate, he was giving up his own title and his right as Monarch in his own country in order to marry (Y/n) not just because he loved her but because he knew the danger she was put in. People were hanging around like vultures just waiting to fly in and create a storm. People wanted to marry (Y/n) off, they wanted to control her and influence her opinions and her actions and her rights until she was just a puppet they could control. And with how (Y/n) lacked the information about her rights and politics, she could be easily swayed by someone feigning to try and help her.

Ben knew a storm was going to come by anytime soon because he was helping in the way that no one else would like. He was teaching and coaching (Y/n) on politics and how to use her rights and telling her what was out of her hands and her jurisdiction. But Ben wasn't trying to control her or sway her influence or her mind, he did his best to remain impartial when helping her but he knew people were going to think he was trying to control her. If Ben gave (Y/n) her own voice and allowed her to rule more or less on her own without having to rely on too many people, no one was going to influence her or control her and that was going to upset a lot of people.

"This Thursday." (Y/n) lifted her eyes to spare Mr Hardin a quick glance and a smile before she looked back down to the papers she was sorting into piles.

Ben's lessons in politics were becoming very useful but (Y/n) still wasn't quite up to date on everything so far and she didn't understand everything so she was sorting all of her papers into piles. One pile was the one she understood and would have no problem going through and signing, but the other pile was the one she needed Ben to talk her through because (Y/n) couldn't sign anything she didn't understand. That would be a grave mistake on her part.

"Some of the council are wondering, ma'am, if you're planning on making him Prince Regent? I do feel that this wouldn't be the best idea, ma'am." Hardin held his hands behind his back as he took a step closer to the desk. There was a concerning yet warm look in his eyes like he was trying to give her some advice.

Since (Y/n) had been appointed Queen and then coronated, Hardin had been her adviser and he had done his best to educate her on the subjects she was lacking. He was funny and he understood her views on the people in court who she particularly didn't like and who were always trying to put her under their spell and influence.

"Why on Earth would I do that, Mr Hardin? I'm not ill, and as far as I know I'm perfectly capable of being Queen, don't you think?" (Y/n) couldn't help the way her heart sank in her chest and she had to purse her lips to stop her smile from falling into a frown.

Who was going around saying it would be a good idea to make Ben Prince Regent? Doing that would mean (Y/n) was giving Ben all the rights of a King to do her job for her. That happened with a King who had gone mad, his son was made Prince Regent and did all of the jobs and went through all of the documents as if he were King because his father was incapable. Did people think she was that incapable of being Queen that she needed a husband to take over? (Y/n) wasn't mad and she wasn't stupid or irrational and she knew what she was doing.

"I quite agree, ma'am. But, I am concerned about this engagement, the Prince is getting rather involved in your political affairs. It might not be wise to have someone outside of the government coaching you about their views on politics, after all, his country is far different than England."

"Mr Hardin, the Prince isn't trying to sway my views, he's helping me because he knows more than I do the working of parliament and politics. Him not being from England is precisely why I need and value his input. When we are married I'm going to appoint him as one of my advisers."

When (Y/n) looked up at Hardin there was a certain expression on his face that she couldn't decipher, it was as if she had just insulted him or said something very worrying that he didn't know how to react to. (Y/n) knew she needed Ben's advise and his input because he wasn't biased and he wasn't telling her his own opinions and values, he was telling her what she needed to know from an outside point of view. If he was one of her advisers then she would be very capable of being Queen and speaking her mind and giving her consent or denial to proposals in parliament.

(Y/n) knew Ben couldn't be her only adviser because he was going to be her husband and he was the Prince. (Y/n) had to be seen to have advisers around her so the people knew she wasn't being biased or looking like she was being ruled by her husband.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea ma'am, he's going to be your husband, he shouldn't be your adviser too in case it brings conflict in ideas. You must remember, he is giving up his throne to live here and marry you, I think that by doing that he may feel he has a right to get involved or even to be Prince Regent."

A shudder ran through (Y/n)'s spine as she looked down to the papers she was just about finished sorting through. Why did he have to say something like that?

(Y/n) knew what Ben was giving up and she knew that despite wishing for him to give up his title to marry her, she still felt bad that he had to give up the one thing he had been working towards his entire life, just to marry her. It made (Y/n) feel guilty more than anything else in her life and she felt guilty for loving Ben and wanting to be with him. But the only way for them to be together was for one of them to give up their throne and (Y/n) had only just been coronated and it would be another two or even three years before Ben would get his throne.

Even though he was giving this up for her, (Y/n) knew Ben wasn't the type to wade in and try to take her crown from her. He wanted to help and he wanted to be involved but he didn't want to steal the power away or make himself Prince Regent. (Y/n) was sure of that.

"The Prince isn't like that Mr Hardin, I assure you."

"If you're sure. Now, would you like me to run through these papers with you ma'am?"

Hardin barely managed to finish his sentence before the door to the study opened and Ben walked in. The moment his eyes landed on Hardin they narrowed like a hawk focusing on its prey, he looked as if he was feeling suspicious of Hardin for something like Ben assumed he was doing something he shouldn't be. (Y/n) knew Ben had taken a rather big disliking towards Hardin, Ben seemed to think he was out to gain something by being so close to her or that he wanted to control or her boost his position in the court.

(Y/n) wasn't so sure because Hardin had been nothing but kind and considerate to her and he ran her through anything she was unsure about. He didn't give (Y/n) any reason to doubt him or suggest that he was trying to take control or advantage.

"I think the papers can wait, we have a meeting don't we?"

Ben held his hand out to (Y/n) when she clearly knew he was here to go to the meeting with her. She had said he could come along to any of the meetings so he could get a feel for the politics and to know for future since he was staying. He was going to be getting involved in the business and day to day life anyway, he may as well get a head start.

"Should I brief you before the meeting ma'am? This meeting is about the political parties getting votes-"

"I shouldn't think a briefing would be necessary, the Queen has more of an understanding than you give her credit for." Ben rose his brows in Hardin's direction before he turned to leave the room with (Y/n) following in tow, her hand tightly holding his own. 

"Ben, he's only trying to help." (Y/n) leaned her head on Ben's arm when they were alone in the corridor with Hardin presumably not too far behind. Displays of affection weren't all that agreed with before marriage and (Y/n) didn't want to give anyone any looks or information they could try and use against her and Ben or anything that could be turned into gossip.

"I don't know (Y/n), the advice he gives you centres around his political party and he knows you rely on him, that's a dangerous thing to know for someone in his position. Besides, you can think for yourself and he has to know and get used to that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's the matter?" (Y/n) moved her chair a little bit closer to Ben's before she leaned over and gently took his hand in hers, resting her free hand on his arm. She could feel how tense he was and the unreadable expression on his face didn't look like a rather good or happy one either.

He was sat slightly slouched in his chair with his free hand rubbing over his jaw like he was contemplating something confusing or serious. He didn't speak during the meeting and as much as that seemed a bit off-putting to everyone else in the meeting, (Y/n) knew it was just because he was getting a feel for how it worked. He was listening, he was learning rather than trying or wanting to take part in what was being said. But clearly what he was learning was something he didn't like or didn't agree with.

"I have a problem with your council and some of the electors of parliament." The way Ben spoke and the low tone he used showed he knew this was a predicament in itself. Ben shouldn't be too bothered but if he was going to try and help (Y/n) with any business when they were married this was going to become a problem if he couldn't get along with the council. He also knew that it was a problem because (Y/n) had no say in who was elected or brought into parliament, that was out of her jurisdiction.

"Why?"

"Five of the men in your council scoffed when you started to speak which shows they lack respect for you. Two men from Parliament dismissed what you said and one man tried to shush you which I have a very big problem with. Hardin tried to speak for you, again, when he knows you understand what is being said and that man Lewis looked like he had a problem with you."

(Y/n) looked down at their entwined hands for a moment as she processed what he said. She heard the scoffs and she knew Morris tried to shush her which he got a lot of dirty looks for but she didn't know what to do. (Y/n) couldn't dismiss anyone from Parliament, they were out of her range she had no control over them even if they were disrespectful. And members of her council thought she was a little girl who didn't know what she was doing and it was a lot harder than it seemed to try and change their minds.

If (Y/n) shouted or got angry they would say she was losing her mind and her temper, if she stayed quiet they would carry on and if she got Ben to speak for her it would be like he was already controlling her or like some kind of servant.

There wasn't much she could do.

"Parliament is out of my hands... and most of my council were already formed before I became Monarch and Hardin helped me select the last few people. Lewis is my mother's adviser, he does have a problem with me, I don't listen to him."

"The man who shushed you wasn't an elector from Parliament so I strongly suggest you get rid of him. Any man who tries to talk over you or is so rude like that isn't worth keeping around. As for Parliament, I think you're just going to have to keep speaking louder, love. They're here to listen and to work and if you know what you're talking about they can't ignore you forever."

Ben didn't want to seem controlling in his suggestions but if (Y/n) didn't get rid of the man who tried to make her be quiet then Ben would do it himself. (Y/n) shouldn't have to put up with such rude and insolent people and it grated Ben's every nerve to have someone treat her like that when she was the Queen and she was trying to talk. All the men in this meeting should listen and want to know what she has to say even if sometimes she made mistakes or said the wrong thing.

Blatantly shushing her, talking over her or trying to ignore her was not civil and it wasn't the way to go about things.

"I think some of them are expecting you to be appointed Prince Regent... maybe they think I'm incompetent or they might even respect you and listen if you speak."

Ben sat up straighter in his chair and turned his head to better look at (Y/n) when she spoke. Her voice showed that she was rather worried about people thinking that was what was going to happen or what Ben wanted to happen and it was as if she thought that was actually going to become a reality. He wasn't here for that, if he wanted the crown so badly Ben would have gone back home and declined the marriage. He wouldn't marry (Y/n) and then try to take her crown when he could have his own proper title rather than a belittled title such as regent.

"I don't want to be Prince Regent because I have no desire to take your control away from you. You're not ill or unstable so you don't need any regent and if I wanted a crown so badly I wouldn't marry you, would I? When we get married I admit I would like to work alongside you and help but I don't want to undermine you, love."

"I know, it's just what people are expecting."

(Y/n) kept her focus on their hands until Ben moved his free hand under her chin, gently tilting her head up so she would look at him. There was sincerity in his eyes and a smile adorning his lips that made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter.

"Well you can exceed their pity expectations. You're the Monarch here, not me."

When his lips pressed to her own it felt like they were sealing some sort of secret deal. Ben wasn't going to take her crown and he wasn't here to control or undermine her, only to help guide and encourage her but most importantly, he was staying here and marrying her because he loved her. If he didn't love her he wouldn't marry her even if it would have saved her from a problematic marriage that someone would have arranged for her.

(Y/n) didn't want the kiss to stop but even when she moved her hands to cup his face, Ben pulled back enough to see her properly with a smile that seemed to shine brighter than the sun itself.

"I think you're meeting the Prime Minister soon, so I'll let you disappear for that and I'll find you in a while."

Ben got to his feet but before he left the room that was vacant apart from the couple, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to (Y/n)'s head before he disappeared. He didn't get very far though before someone called out his name, Ben only managed to get out of the corridor and halfway through the drawing room before he was stopped. More so, he knew who was calling him and he didn't particularly want to speak to him either.

But Ben hadn't been here very long and he was going to be here for a lot longer, he knew it wouldn't be in his best interests to come across as rude or ignorant or make enemies right now.

He turned around and tried to put on a placid expression as he looked at Lewis who was approaching him. This was someone Ben was unsure about but wasn't too happy about either. Throughout the meeting he had glanced and stared at (Y/n) like she was doing something wrong or like he wanted to pull her aside and tell her off like she was a little child. He didn't look to be the happiest of people but he was rubbing Ben up the wrong way.

"Mr Lewis, isn't it?" Ben tapped his index finger against his thigh, not wanting to hold his hands in front of him or behind his back because it felt too formal and could come across as unsettling. But he didn't know what to do with his hands, he was very much hoping that this wouldn't be a long conversation.

"Yes, your Highness. I was hoping I could have a word with you about when you and the Queen are married."

"Really? Go ahead then." Ben's head ticked to the side and his eyes narrowed in dismay. He had a feeling he wouldn't like where this conversation was heading.

"I think you already know that when you're married you will need an adviser and I think it would be preferable if you had an English adviser-"

"Are you giving me advice or are you applying for the job?" Ben crossed his arms over his chest, raising a brow as his lips curved, forming a sceptical key knowing look. Lewis was angling to be Ben's adviser, he seemed to be a man who wanted power and status and what better way to get that than to be an adviser to the Queen's husband? He could try and worm his way over to (Y/n) as well and take a hold over her if he became close to Ben.

"I think I might be of use if I were your adviser, I know the Queen well."

"Right, and what advice would you give me then?"

Ben knew what kind of man Lewis was, he was the sneaky, cold-blooded type that was out for his own gain. (Y/n) didn't seem to be very fond of him and he seemed like he couldn't tolerate her as if she were someone's child who was getting on his nerves. That automatically put Ben against him but Lewis was digging himself a bigger hole right now that no one could get him out of.

"I'd advise you to keep watch over the Queen. Many of the council noticed you seem to be helping her in her study of politics, when you're married you could become Prince Regent and take control of affairs. I can help you with that if I become your adviser."

The anger pooling inside of Ben became clear on his face that became stern and his green eyes darkened like they were being tinted. His nails dug into his upper arms that were tightening against his chest to try and keep himself calm. So it was Lewis that had been spreading the rumours that Ben will or should become Prince Regent. If that happened everyone would expect Ben to take control of the internal affairs and to take control of (Y/n), reign her in as it were because they all thought she was too young and inexperienced when all she needed was a helping hand.

No one could rule alone and no one knew everything, (Y/n) couldn't be expected to know all there was to be a Monarch but no one wanted to help her, they wanted to watch her fail.

"I'm sure you know what a regency means and if you know the Queen you must realise there is no just cause for that to happen. You're self-centred advice comes with very little logic or knowledge." Even if Ben wanted to become Prince Regent- which he did not- he would have to have a reason for that. (Y/n) would either have to be incapacitated, mentally or physically incapable of ruling alone or she would have to be declared unfit or in a state of madness. Something had to be wrong with her for her to have a Regent, simply being naive or lacking in certain education was no reason for (Y/n) to lose her power and control to someone else.

"The Queen is unstable, your Highness, she is prone to fits of terror or anger and if a doctor deems her so-"

"I strongly advise that you do not finish that sentence if you still want your place in this palace. I don't think you understand that for one, you've just accused your Queen- the Monarch, of being unfit for her crown and two, you've just said that to me. If I hear you saying anything like that again or anyone else spouting that nonsense then it will be you deemed as unfit for your position here."

"I only meant-"

"I know exactly what you meant and I do not agree with any of it. I'm engaged to the Queen but I'm not after her crown like so many people in this place. I think I'm going to have to start making some changes around here, starting with the staff."

Ben waved his hand in the air to dismiss Lewis in a manner that he knew would rile up the elder man who had much less authority here than he seemed to think.

If anyone said anything like that to Ben right to his face again he wouldn't be so easy on them like he just was. He could have had Lewis dismissed from his position for what he said but Ben didn't want to be seen as completely ruthless, although he did want to make sure people knew they couldn't walk all over him. It was a shock to Ben to know that people closest to (Y/n) were conspiring to bring her down or deem her as unfit and he himself was being made a pawn in their plan. They would allow a stranger to take over the ruling of this country instead of (Y/n) and that showed something to Ben.

It showed him that they feared how (Y/n) would rule this country but knowing (Y/n), Ben knew that her changes were going to be good ones and her reign was one that would be feared in the best possible way. She may not have the backing or the alliance of her own council, but Ben would take a guess that she had the confidence of the public and that was more desirable and reliant.

The council couldn't overthrow the Queen like the public could but they were trying to bring her down and Ben wasn't going to let that happen. He would be damned before he let anyone try and hurt or undermine (Y/n) in any way.

[fuckyeahwarriorwomen]

Copy of article below thge cut, should the original ever go away

Leading up to the 20th anniversary of the March 10, 1997 premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Yahoo TV is celebrating “Why Genre Shows Matter” and the history of how these shows have tackled universal themes (e.g. how much high school sucks) and broader social issues.

Perhaps because they seek to imagine the world that’s possible rather than the world that is, genre shows have a long tradition of striving to expand the horizons of what’s possible for women on television. Within the realm of space operas alone, there’s a direct line that connects Lieutenant Uhura’s prominent perch amongst the Enterprise‘s largely male bridge crew on the original Star Trek to The Expanse‘s fiercely independent engineer, Naomi Nagata. And each point along this continuum helps inform the next: commanding officers like Babylon 5‘s Susan Ivanova and Voyager‘s Kathryn Janeway are linked by a devotion to duty, if not necessarily temperament, while Killjoys‘ scrappy bounty hunter, Yala, could have been a student of Firefly‘s highly-skilled soldier, Zoë Washburne. On this International Women’s Day, we celebrate the accomplishments of one such influential intergalactic heroine.

Her name is Aeryn. Officer Aeryn Sun if we’re being formal, one of the interstellar outlaws at the center of Farscape, the wildly ambitious Australian/American space serial that ran from 1999 to 2003 on the Sci-Fi Channel. Bred from birth to be a loyal Sebacean soldier in the Peacekeeper army that patrols her section of the galaxy, Officer Sun switches careers after inadvertently ending up aboard a living spaceship named Moya that’s occupied by a motley crew of jailbreakers. These convicts-turned-comrades include towering warrior Ka D’Argo, blue-hued priestess Zhaan, flatulent deposed despot Rygel XVI, and John Crichton, an Earth-born astronaut who is very, very far from home. Created by Rockne S. O’Bannon and produced by The Jim Henson Company, Farscape enjoyed a bumpy four-season stateside run that ended prematurely when the network declined to fund a fifth and final year. (Sci-Fi later aired, but didn’t finance, a wrap-up miniseries, Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars, in 2004.)

The original cast of ‘Farscape’ (Credit: Everett Collection)

One of the joys of Farscape is that its defining house style is the lack of a defining house style. Episodes can range from standalone homages to body-switching comedies and vintage Loony Tunes cartoons to densely plotted multi-part stories that don’t conclude with conventionally happy endings. The primary constant amidst this narrative and tonal juggling is the turbulent love story between Aeryn Sun and John Crichton. Revisited today, Farscape stands as something of a bridge between eras of space opera, linking the last wave of episodic space adventures like Star Trek: Voyager and Stargate: SG-1 to the intensely emotional serialized narratives that later drove Battlestar Galactica and its ilk. Aeryn is both a traditional and transformational figure as well; raised to be an impersonal enforcer in the Imperial Stormtrooper mold, she comes to live out a promise that John makes to her in the very first episode: “You can be more.”

“Oh, I’ve got chills down my arm,” says Aeryn’s alter ego, Claudia Black, as she reflects on the character and those prophetic words nearly two decades later. “Her evolution as an individual takes off in an extraordinary way [after that].” Over the course of Yahoo TV’s hour-long conversation with the Australian actress, it’s clear that she does regard Aeryn as an individual unto herself, one who took on a life that sometimes superseded the actress’s own. “I was always happy to hand the character off,” Black says. “I would say [to the producers], ‘If I’m going in the wrong direction then please find someone to serve Aeryn, please. Because she deserves to have the full love of a person who can give you what you need.’ She was honestly such a privilege to play, and I never abused that privilege.”

And Black very nearly didn’t get that privilege. The role had already been cast when she first auditioned for Farscape, but the creative team encouraged her to read for Aeryn anyway. That reading later led to a screen test opposite Tennessee-born Ben Browder, who would be playing John Crichton. (Interestingly, Browder’s casting is, in part, what opened the door to Black inheriting the role from the English actress who had originally been chosen as Aeryn. “Because of the Australian co-production agreement, if they brought in a lead actor from America, the second lead had to be Australian,” Black explains. “So thank god for our union!”) Immediately recognizing the crackling onscreen chemistry between them, Browder pushed hard for her to land the role over network skepticism. “I was a controversial choice for sure,” Black says now. “I was just lucky in the end.”

Whatever the circumstances of how she got the role, Black climbed aboard Moya with strong ideas about how to play Aeryn. Superficially, the character is part of the wave of warrior women that swept through genre shows in the ’90s and early ’00s, whose ranks included Xena, Buffy, and even Cleo of Cleopatra 2525 fame. But as conceived by O’Bannon and carried forward by executive producer David Kemper, who became a driving creative force behind the show, Aeryn cuts against that archetype as well. Unlike Xena, she doesn’t necessarily relish battle; it’s something that’s been programmed into her. (Although, as Aeryn memorably remarks in The Peacekeeper Wars: “Shooting makes me feel better!“) She also reverses the arc traversed by Buffy and Cleo, which begins with them in places of perceived weakness — as a cheerleader and exotic dancer, respectively — and leads towards empowerment.

Because of her militaristic upbringing, Aeryn starts from a place of fierce strength. Her journey over the lifespan of the show, then, becomes about softening what Black describes as Aeryn’s “jagged edges” without surrendering her agency. “I’ve always loved science fiction because of the way it affords us an opportunity to look at humanity from an outsider’s perspective,” Black says. “And Aeryn really gets to experience it firsthand the best way that humans can, which is through love, in all of its forms. When I look at humanity, and my own life, we have to break before we can grow. That’s really what happened with Aeryn; she became stronger with softer edges.” (For the record, Aeryn may start out as a superior fighter to Buffy, but Black says that Sarah Michelle Gellar would easily mop the floor with her in real life. “Sarah has a black belt in karate, and I have two left feet! I always felt like a bit of an imposter [as Aeryn] just on the physical front. If I could push the reset button, I’d go back and get good at some form of martial art.”)

But that stronger-to-softer arc is also more treacherous to navigate than a traditional empowerment story, flirting, as it does, with the fanboy-friendly stereotype of the buttoned-up ice queen whose resolve (and inhibitions) melt when love, generally in the form of a strapping male hero, comes her way. The risk of falling headlong into that tired trope is something Farscape had to deal with throughout its run, especially as the core of the show was always the romance between John and Aeryn.

And while that romance takes a number of unexpected twists and turns — most boldly in a Season 3 storyline that saw Aeryn committing herself fully to a cloned version of Crichton, only to see him die and then have to re-learn how to love the original John — it ultimately culminates with two staples of a standard love story: a marriage proposal and a pregnancy. “It seemed pretty clear to me that Rockne’s intention in the pilot was that this was going to be a love story for the ages,” Black says. Not only that, but it was a love story penned by a largely male writing staff who had their own opinions about how to depict Aeryn’s gradual acceptance of Crichton’s love that sometimes ran counter to Black’s feelings. “I recall moments where they wanted me to be more vulnerable with Aeryn, and I didn’t want to be because I didn’t think it was time and I didn’t think she was ready,” she says. “But it wasn’t my place to say.”

Nevertheless, she persistently found ways to make her voice heard, whether it was by talking one-on-one with specific writers or her co-star, who was equally eager to avoid certain genre show clichés. Black recalls one instance early on in the show’s run when Browder actively pushed back against Sci-Fi’s directive that John Crichton demonstrate the same sex drive as James T. Kirk. “They wanted Crichton to have an alien girl of the week. Ben put his foot down and said, ‘No, he’s not that kind of guy. This isn’t the story I want to tell.’ And on my side I was saying, ‘Yeah, what does that say about Aeryn if she’s going to fall in love with a guy [like that]?’ We wanted to investigate and have them experience the more positive aspects of attraction, as well as what’s worth fighting for and what’s worth dying for,” she says. “Maybe the show would have continued longer if we’d been able to please the network! They know what they’re going to need in order to keep [viewers] interested and tuning in. But we’re very proud of what we managed to make regardless, because of those choices.”

The ongoing battle that Black personally waged throughout Farscape‘s run was ensuring that Aeryn maintained control over her own body. In the genre shows of her era, the female leads were stronger and savvier than ever, and that translated into fashion choices that expressed their own body confidence and sexuality. Xena rode into battle in a heaving breastplate, while Buffy fought vampires in halter tops and Relic Hunter‘s Sydney Fox always donned a tight tank top before exploring some ancient tomb. But flashing cleavage, leg, and midriff also made those characters desirable pin-ups for the male audience courted by networks and advertisers. (Farscape added its own version of a pin-up type midway through the first season in the form of Chiana, a grey-skinned con artist with a plunging neckline and a voracious sexual appetite.)

But those fashions didn’t make sense for a soldier fighting in an army where men and women’s bodies were interchangeable. In fact, Black remembers reading a very specific direction to the makeup department in the production notes for the pilot. “When I take my Peacekeeper helmet off [for the first time], the note read in big print, ‘She looks masculine.’ They thickened my eyebrows — which are already thick! — and shaded my face in very minimal makeup. All of the on-set gallery images of me in the first season are with that very masculine makeup.”

Aeryn in her ‘masculine’ Season 1 appearance (Credit: Everett Collection)

By Season 2, though, Aeryn’s appearance underwent a noticeable change; her hair got longer and straighter, and her Peacekeeper uniform gave way to outfits that walked a line between practical and revealing. Black, who describes herself as a feminist, agreed to these cosmetic changes as she felt they were part of a “natural progression” for Aeryn. “I was honoring where she had come from at the same time having to find a way to let her grow into whatever it is she was going to become,” she says. (This clip from Farscape‘s aforementioned Looney Tunes-inspired episode, “Revenging Angel,” neatly summarizes — and satirizes — the female body types commonly featured on genre shows that Aeryn deliberately defies.)

Already objectively beautiful, Aeryn’s sexuality continued to emerge as she grew into her new self. Even so, Black could sense it wasn’t emerging quickly enough to satisfy certain expectations. “I felt that I was being pushed to show more flesh than was necessary,” she admits, pointing to one incident in the show’s fourth season where it was written into the script that Aeryn would sit poolside in a bikini. “I just said, ‘I will get in a bikini for you if it makes sense, but this woman’s world is falling apart.’ It was the last thing I thought Aeryn would do [in that moment]. It felt really frivolous and superficial to me.” (Black had already donned a bikini to play pregnant Aeryn in a hallucinatory scene in the Season 4 premiere. “They not only had me in a bikini, but they gave me a pregnant belly as well, which is really hard to pull off and make it look naturalistic,” she says.)

Black remembers shooting down an even more egregious bit of flesh-flashing in an earlier episode. As an international production, Farscape frequently shot extra scenes for certain ad-free European markets that would fill the time normally allotted for commercials. The cast referred to these filler sequences as “Euro scenes,” and they rarely involved big story or character beats. According to Black, this particular episode dispatched D’Argo and Aeryn on a planetside mission, and the writers cobbled together a Euro scene that she describes as “absurd.” “They said, ‘Let’s have a scene where we cut to them by a lake, and Aeryn turns and sees a bunch of soldiers across the lake. Aeryn takes off her clothes, swims across the lake, and fights these soldiers completely naked, then comes back to D’Argo and off they go.'”

In later seasons, Aeryn naturally progressed towards more revealing fashion choices (Credit: Everett Collection)

“There were so many things about it that were so bizarre,” she continues. “I said, ‘You know what, please explain this to me, how this honestly can fit in.’ In the end, they just said, ‘All right, fine — we won’t do it.’ That’s what I felt I was having to haggle for a lot of the time: my right to keep my clothes on until it was appropriate. I’ve always felt as an actor — and I’m sure other females have felt like this as well — that when you sign on the dotted line and enter the business that somehow you’ve given your body away as a piece of property, and you spend the rest of your career haggling for pieces of it back.” And the actress credits Browder with backing her up in her fight for Aeryn to be in full control of her own femininity and, by extension, her destiny. “Aeryn is really as feminist as I am, but she’s nothing without Crichton, which is an interesting statement to make,” she says. “So as much as we praise Aeryn, we must give full credit to Crichton and to Ben for shaping him the way that he did. It’s the space that he gives her. He’s such an exquisite champion of her growth and development, that it becomes possible for her to grow to her full size.”

In the 13 years since the concluding Peacekeeper Wars miniseries, rumors have occasionally flown about Farscape‘s return. At one point, there was talk of a webisode series following John and Aeryn’s child, D’Ago Sun-Crichton, but funding never came to fruition. (The show did continue in comic book form for a time, but publication ceased circa 2011.) Black, whose recent credits include stints on The CW genre shows Containment and The Originals, has no updates on any future revivals, and jokes that if Aeryn and Crichton ever do return, they’ll be “tired, ornery, and not really wanting another battle.”

Claudia Black as Dahlia on ‘The Originals’ (Credit: Annette Brown/The CW)

In a way, though, Aeryn’s larger battle has already been won. One of the breakout characters on Battlestar Galactica — which premiered in December 2003, nine months after Farscape‘s series finale — was Kara “Starbuck” Thrace, who displays some of the same steely spine, and jagged edges, of Officer Sun. And today’s genre TV landscape is populated with women who, consciously or not, reflect Aeryn’s assertiveness, independence, and refusal to conform to societal (or genre) norms of appearance or attitude, whether it’s Orphan Black‘s Helena, Sense8‘s Nomi, or Jessica Jones.

For this Scaper, she lives on off-screen as well. When my wife and I learned that we’d be having a daughter, we thought about all the things we wanted for her life. To know that she, and she alone, is in control of her body. To be strong in the face of injustice. To be confident in her own power. And to know that when she chooses to give her heart to another person, that person will be her champion, and give her the space to grow to her full size. And so we picked a name that, for us, would embody all of our hopes and dreams for the individual she’s becoming with each passing year.

Her name is Aeryn.

[eirenare]

TROS junior novelization: “Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise” + some post-TROS era thoughts

I’ve been writing a big ass post compilating all of the “Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise” throughout the books up until TROS and analyzing them, and I wanted to wait for my TROS junior novelization to arrive to keep building it and post it but I’m just too excited because THE VOICE IS BACK so I gotta talk at least about this

Some days ago I did a post (which you can check here) talking and speculating about the TROS junior novelization and how it was upon us, and that I could’ve misunderstood the voice in the TLJ junior novelization (I talked about the voice months ago, compiling the parts where it appears in the TLJ junior novelization, here), and funnily, I HAD misunderstood it but at the same time I HADN’T

The reason? Yes, the “Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise” was a coping mechanism of Rey... but there was more to it, something I started to suspect again after reading pre-TROS some more times a certain fragment from the TLJ junior novelization where “the voice” and the phrase were mentioned

The TROS junior novelization may look like it has lots of yikes for what I saw on some pages floating around, but look at THIS (analysis below):

“The Force surrounds you, Rey. Feel the Force flowing through you, Rey. Let it lift you. We stand by you, Rey.

Rey, the Force will be with you, always.

There were so many up there—so many stars, so many voices—Rey could not keep track. But there was a light inside her that shone brighter and spoke louder than all the others.

Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise.

She looked deep into that light and saw there were two. A binary star. And though the voice that said those words was her own, the love behind them was not.”

Okay, so, first of all: *unholy pterodactyl screeching of excitement*

For what it seems, each voice in the World Between Worlds (because yes, this is the WBW, the descriptions of this scene in the TROS non-junior novelization just leaves no room for doubt: “the battle above disappeared. Instead, Rey saw a perfect sky, vast with stars. Peaceful. Light-filled. It was like she was staring through a window to somewhere else, a place between places.” [...] “More voices came at her fast but gentle, as though she lay at a confluence of the Force, possibilities, futures and pasts all stretching away from her, or maybe leading toward her. The cosmos, time, energy, being—nothing was the way she’d thought it was.” [...] “Presences filled her awareness, some recent, some ancient, some still anchored to the living in a strange way. Rey didn’t understand. But she accepted.”) corresponds with a light... and when Rey peers into a light inside of her which is brighter and louder than all the others, she hears the phrase AND sees the light is A BINARY STAR

... So, a light brighter than the rest—which is fitting with Ben’s description in the TROS non-junior novelization, where it’s said that his light is so bright it helps Rey resist Palpatine’s influence: “Rey continued to approach. His power was intoxicating. She found herself raising her weapon, almost against her will. If not for the other presence in her mind, bright and shining with light, she would not have been able to resist him."

And that light inside her, brighter than the rest, being like a binary star—which fits as well, and only with, Rey and Ben being one in the Force

And apparently the words were hers, but the love behind them was not—so, Ben’s feelings echoing through their Dyad bond (and the WBW? Through both?) across time and space because a Dyad bond (just like the Force) cares not for such boundaries

Also if I remember well (need to find the pic or get a photo myself when the novel arrives), in the TROS junior novelization, when Ben and Rey are circling each other in the hangar of the Star Destroyer (on Kijimi) they’re described like in a way that looks pretty much like a binary star reference

I’ve been basking in all of this for days, even though thinking it’s Ben basically sends me back to the heavy feels lol

I mean, these words Rey repeated to herself for 14-15 years seem to be (it only makes sense to be) echos of Ben (of hope) from the future, and that helped her survive and cope with her own pain and despair... I’m not okay your honor

And there’s just no way it can be anyone else but Ben, given all of this and the contexts. I’ve read comments saying maybe it could refer to her parents or even Luke and Leia, but... it just doesn’t fit? The light is INSIDE Rey, brighter than the rest, and it’s a binary star. It’s simply Rey and another person, and that other person can only be Ben, her soulmate

The best thing is that they actually could use this to bring Ben back to Rey if they wanted, because they didn’t go very deep into the theme of the Dyad AND when the WBW is involved ANYTHING could happen (and it’s not as if these could be the only methods to bring someone back)

To quote the TFA junior novelization: “Rey did not want the owner of the voice to come back. She wanted the speaker to stay.”

Disney/Lucasfilm have a golden opportunity now to either cast the group again for a live-action or animated series, or a movie (or movies), fixing stuff. It’s not gonna make TROS go away nor fix it all, but there’s A LOT of stuff that could end up in a WAY better place than it ended up in TROS, and I’m pretty sure if they pick up some people that know what they’re doing and the premise is good, the cast would want to be back to fix the mess

If they can’t get the cast, just... do an animated series. Or, heck, if it could be done, both would be soooo amazing? (Although I don’t think we’d end up with both, if we end up with something it’ll be one or the other I think) A movie would be ideal to fix stuff, but a series (live-action or animated) would be ideal for something that could go on for a long time with new adventures. DLF could just attract back so many fans (including the new ones, which they should know already are vital to keep a franchise alive) that they’ve pushed away with TROS

I mean, look, if even my lizard brain can come up with viable ideas on how to fix so many mistakes from TROS, DLF certainly can, and there’s people with the talent AND care to do it, so... yeah

We’re getting some WBW mentions (and things that could be hints too) after TROS, other characters have been able to come back from worse and less vague deaths, we still don’t know what a Dyad bond is fully capable of *coughs in suspicions that The High Republic might show some of this and maybe serve as a preamble to Ben’s return*, a good post-TROS fix is absolutely needed, and DLF would make an obscene amount of money if they brought Ben back and did a post-TROS mending a lot of things, so right now I’m proceeding with cauting and keeping my feet on the ground just in case, but my hopes are kinda going up

[rjnorth-writes]

Carrying On - Regency!AU  Part 5: To Be Seen

A Poe Dameron/OC story. 

Description: In which Captain Poe Dameron is introduced to Princess Ami Skywalker. 

Duty, while deeply ingrained and important to the woman, was not without its downfalls. While she would do anything for her family, it did not mean she had to enjoy it. She needs to simply appear to enjoy it. Princess Ami could do this very well, for she’d been doing so for eighteen years. That’s not to say there wasn’t joy in her life, of course. The joyous moments just so happened to occur behind closed doors with her family where she wasn’t required to play her role. 

After a few peaceful moments longer lounging with Rey, Ami rejoined the festivities. There were conversations revolving around the weather, Lord Mace’s prized horses, and compliments on the music. There were far more dances with even duller conversation revolving around them men themselves, and nothing to do with her, or anything remotely intriguing. It seemed that their tactic in winning Ami’s heart was by flaunting their own achievements and wealth instead of trying to get to know Ami herself. 

Title and position was all anybody ever saw of her. 

The evening, however, did finally take a turn it would seem, as Ben made his way to Ami, who had just finished another dance with a fellow she cared not to dance with again for the sheer number of times he stomped on her toes. A moment off to the side for an introduction, no matter how mundane it may or may not be, was a welcome reprieve. 

Ami smiles softly to her cousin as he moves to stand to create a triangle with himself, Ami, and the distinguished looking Poe Dameron. Gesturing with his hand, Ben calmly and warmly said, “It is my pleasure to introduce Princess Ami Skywalker, and Captain Poe Dameron. Two most dear individuals to myself. I do hope you get on.” The words were polite, and hopeful, but with a stiffness that Ami knew far too well from growing with the man. It was his polite warning tone, and it was very evident it was not directed towards his kin. It was for Poe as to not embarrass himself, or Ben, and disrespect Ami. 

“It is my honor, Captain Dameron, to make your acquaintance and thank you for your service,” Ami greeted, curtsying. 

“The honor is truly mine, Princess,” Poe insisted, bowing without breaking eye contact with Ami. Upon righting himself, he extended his hand expectantly. 

The movement was unusual, she found. It was so very familiar when the two had only just met, but refusing such an action would’ve looked poorly upon her rather than the good Captain. So, blinding her shock away and returning the smile to her lips, Ami extended her gloved hand and placed it gently atop his own. Without hesitation, Poe brought her fingers to his lips, and tenderly kissed the material again, without breaking eye contact. Ami’s cheeks flushed from the sheer intensity of his attention. 

Ben, not forgotten on the side, straightened his back further at the bold action the man had dared to perform with his cousin, but it was not addressed. Instead, Poe went on to give Ami his full attention. “Prior engagements permitting, I was quite hoping to have your next dance, if you’d be so willing,” Poe suggested. 

“As of this moment, I have no prior engagements,” Ami stated. If she were wise, she would have managed to make an excuse to retreat or to allow Ben to pull Poe away, but there was something in the way he was looking at her that gave her the impression that there was far more going on behind his eyes than what she’d initially suspected.

While the previous dance had been one in which involved moving around the other couples on the dance floor, the one that was currently occupying their entertainment was one in which the partners required only to mingle with their partner. While this was pleasant when one knew and enjoyed the partner, it could be quite the contrary with what one did not know. This dance could go extremely well, or disastrous. Which was yet to be seen. 

The music started, and so did the participants. Moving around one another with barley touching hands as the walked around one another, Ami found herself looking into Captain Dameron’s warm eyes again as he looked into her’s, accompanied by that sly smirk of his. It was a curious thing. Ami had been lusted after, leered at, and everything in between, but the way Poe was looking upon her was with something she could not yet identify. It was infuriating, she deduced. For Ami prided herself in being able to read people rather well. 

“It was brought to my attention, your Royal Highness, that there is a name to which you are referred among the nobility of Ahch-To. Are you aware of such a title?” Poe asked casually, the glint in his eye returning. 

The shock could not be masked on her expression for once, but it was blinked away and replaced rather quickly as she regained her composure. It was such an odd thing for someone to bring up when they did not know one another. Though, she supposed, nobody had ever been so bold to bring it up to her period, unless it was a discussion among her immediate family, of course. Either Poe Dameron was incredibly rude, or there was a distinct purpose he possessed for bringing up such a thing. 

“I shall admit it, Captain Dameron, that I am aware of it,” Ami admitted, her tone even and sweet. 

“And what is your take on it, might I ask?” 

If Ami hadn’t been so acquainted with the steps of the dance or familiar with the particular dress she’d doned that evening, she was certain she would’ve stumbled over her own feet. Captain Poe Dameron had asked her opinion. Now, it was expected of lady’s to be versed in quite an array of topics and talents, but they were never to express nor form opinions on anything in particular, really. Gentlemen knew this, and cared not to bring it up. They knew better for it could possibly incriminate both the gentleman or the gentlewoman. But Poe Dameron had intentionally gone out of his way to ask her what her thoughts were.

It could’ve very well been a trap, she knew, but upon further thoughts on the matter, what did a Captain in the navy have to gain from humiliating the young woman that would one day sit on the throne and rule his country? There was no real reasoning she could possibly conjure in her mind except that he genuinely wanted to hear her thoughts. 

“You would wish to hear what I have to say on the matter?” Ami asked once to be sure this was really happening. 

“Well, yes,” Poe stated. “It was why I asked in the first place, Princess.” 

“I apologize for my hesitance,” Ami said, bowing her head slightly. “Your inquiry stunned me, is all.”

“Because no one in their right mind has the guts to bring it up to you?” Poe asked, his brow knitting together. “Or that I should inquire your thoughts on it?” 

“They both may play equal roles,” Ami said. 

“And your stance?” 

“I do suppose it is a rather unfortunate title to be graced with,” Ami clarified. “People tend to simply see what they wish to, especially when in a position such as myself.”

“I must say,” Poe began, “that you are very becoming of your title. Such grace and poise in one so young.”

“Which is why the Porcelain Princess was dubbed as such,” she said. “Something nice to observe on a shelf for all to admire.”

Poe’s grin softened, though not in a calming way. With the intensity of his darkening gaze, the smaller smile seemed to give a completely different meaning. His voice low and deep, his words pointed and precise so not to be taken in any other way than what he meant. “Never to be taken down to be played with or touched.” 

The man was incorrigible! Had he no filter? Did he not remember whom he was speaking so casually and informal to? “I do believe you may be forgetting yourself, Captain Dameron.” The warmth running through her veins made her flush. She assumed this was deep anger and embarrassment, but she’d never felt as such before. But it could have been, perhaps, due to his hand on her waist pulling her ever so closer to his body.

“No, your highness. I never forget. I simply do not feel the need to filter myself with flowery words,” Poe insisted. “What is the point in disguising the meaning of your words only to be misconstrued? Nobody gets anywhere, and the point never comes across.”

“While I may agree with you on this,” Ami began, her pitch slightly higher in tone than previously, “there is a time and place for such insinuation and this is no such place.”

Poe smirked, the glint returning. “Tell me, Princess, has anybody ever said anything like this to you before?”

“No.” “Yet, while many would slap me across the face and sent me on my way, you remain,” Poe pointed out. “Either you’re far more like the Porcelain Princess than I first believed, or you may have actually liked my informality. Because the most interesting thing about you, Princess, if you do not mind my saying, is not how beautiful you are - and you are that - nor how well mannered. It is how intelligent you are. I can see if in your eyes. You crave stimulation from your conversations, something you have yet to acquire here tonight.” Poe leaned in to whisper softly as the end of the song neared. “A woman with a mind all her own is far more attractive than her title.”

The song ended, and Poe stepped back away from the young woman. He did not release her hand, however, and brought it to his lips once more as he bowed. Ami was supposed to curtsy with the end of the song, but the words and action of Poe Dameron had left her dazed, and contemplative. She stood on the dance floor several long moments as the young man walked away, ever so pleased with himself. 

Rey appeared beside her, linking her arm with her own and escorted her off the dance floor. “Pray tell, is Captain Dameron the rake he’s been made out to be?” 

Ami sighed and sat with Rey once more. “To be honest, I’m not sure what just happened. He’s very bold, I will admit, but I feel as though there’s so much more in his head.”

“Much like a certain Porcelain Princess, yes?”

“Perhaps,” Ami admitted. “It is yet to be seen.” 

And so the two finally meet!  You can read Part 4: More then Rumors here. 

[anime-alyssa]

princess alderaan - pt 4

one | two | three | four

You are the daughter of Leia Organa and Han Solo, younger sister to Ben Solo. You are second in command of the Resistance alongside your mother, and have attracted attention from a certain Commander.

also on ao3.

requests for this specific series are now open (despite my profile saying its not). please be patient and make sure to be specific that you want a fic/drabble for this series.

thank you for all the love <3 and i'm sorry to make everyone cry with this

——

“When this is over, I’m going to marry you” “I would certainly hope so, you dragged me into this in the first place”

——

Numb.

That’s all you were.

Numb.

As you sat next to your mother’s covered dead body, holding her cold hand, you were numb.

She had given her last ounce of life force to reach out to your brother, in a desperate attempt to bring him back to the side of the light. She believed in him until her last breath, using it to tell you how much she loved you and him both.

You hadn’t stopped crying since she went. You refused to let go of her hand and spoke to no one. But you knew you would have to at some point. You were fighting a war, Emperor Palpatine had hundreds of Star Destroyers on Exegol waiting to blow out the galaxy. You needed to stand strong and figure out a plan of attack. You were the only one that the whole of the Resistance could turn too now, everything was on your shoulders.

For now. Leia’s last demand was also to make Poe acting General in her place, leaving it to be the two of you in charge. But he wasn’t back yet - or if he was you had no clue. You hadn’t left the area since she went to lay down. For all you know he could be back and you had no idea.

“Baby…” you heard from the side of you. You jumped, not expecting company, Leia’s hand slipping out of yours. Poe stood a few feet away from you, equally misty eyed.  You let out a loud sob and he ran over to you, wrapping his arms around your body and bringing you to his chest. He held you tightly, letting his own tears fall as your sobs took over the room. You and Poe sat there for quite some time together and just cried for Leia. He held you with a near death-grip, not wanting to let you go in fear that you would do something rash. Poe was in nearly as much pain as you were. “I… I don’t know what to do. I’m not ready for this…” he breathed out. You took your head out of his chest, wiping your eyes slowly.

“None of us are…. how do we win this? We have no one… Poe, I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I don’t know how she did it.” you said to him, putting your head back on his chest once more.

“We had each other, Princess. That’s how we did it the first time.” you nearly jumped out of your skin at the familiar voice, Poe jumping with you. Coming out from the back entrance of the room was Lando Calrissian, someone you hadn’t seen since you were a teenager. “It’s been too long, Princess.”

“Uncle Lando…”  you said, running over to the man and throwing your arms around him.

“Maz told me about Leia immediately. Said you’d need someone at your side - but it looks like you found one. You replacing me, Princess?” Lando asked you. You shrugged out a laugh.

“Never. Uncle Lando, this is Command - General Poe Dameron.” you said, correcting yourself to Poe’s new title as you spoke.

“The boyfriend that Chewie mentioned?” Lando asked, narrowing his eyes at Poe. You nodded back to him. “Look, I know these may be dark times. And no one might have came the last time you needed them. But let me and Chewbacca go out there and find people. They’ll come if they know whats at stake.”

“Maz has already offered to do that for us… I need you for something else.” you told him. Lando urged you to go on as Poe started listening, not hearing of this plan. “Mom gave her last ounce of life force to reach out to Ben - to bring him back. Uncle Lando, I know he’s out there. We need to try to get Ben back - otherwise her death will be all for nothing.”

“That’s risky, baby.” Poe said from behind you. You sighed, closing your eyes in defeat. You had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like it - as he had a right not to. You knew that everyone wouldn’t be so trusting of Ben at first, of what he’s done and everything else. But you had a gut feeling inside of you - you had to try. There had to be something you could do - or else you would be alone.

“But she’s right. As soon as we get a location on him, Chewie and I can take the Falcon with the General to him. The thing we have to do first is find him.” Lando said to the group.

“I feel like now is an alright time to point out that Rey never came back with us. She stole his TIE fighter and fled.” Poe said to you.

“So he’s on Endor still?” you asked. Lando was just about to reply back when you were interrupted by C3PO, saying that R2 was receiving a signal from Luke’s ship. You all ran out as quickly as you could. “It’s Rey. She’s lighting the way to Exegol. Poe, gather everyone in the Command Center, quickly.” He nodded as he ran off, you and Lando walking next to each other to the Command Center.

“Everyone’s here.” Poe said to you, coming to your side. You cleared your throat.

“I know these are dark times. Losing my mother is the worst thing that could happen to us right now. We have no direction, no idea of what to do. But right now, what we have is each other. Rey is on her way to the Emperor - she is lighting the way for us to follow. I want as many people as I can get out there fighting. We are the last hope the galaxy has. General Dameron will lead the X-Wings in, Maz is searching the galaxy right now for back up. We need to take out as many of those Star Destroyers as we can before it’s too late.” you said to the group. Pausing, you took another breath in and continued. “Upon her passing my mother made Poe General in her place. Among that I’m promoting Finn alongside of us as well. Poe and Finn will help coordinate the attacks on the Star Destroyers.”

“And what will you be doing, General?” Rose asked curiously.

“I’m going to save my brother.” you said. All was silent, a few people mumbling. “I know everyone has every right to not trust him. But my mother gave her last breath to reach out to him. I think I owe it to her to at least try to save him. You all have your orders. Stick to them.” Once more it was quiet, but Finn spoke up and saved the silence.

“You heard the General, get to your ships! As many as we can get! Everyone else will fight on foot - I have an idea.” Finn said. Everybody immediately broke out into a run, preparing their ships and getting ready to help. You and Lando went to the Falcon, Chewie already prepping it for take off.

“Wait!” you heard behind you. You skidded to a stop and saw Poe running toward you. He wrapped his arm around your waist as he brought you in for a kiss, using his other arm to secure something around your neck. “Take care of that for me, okay?” Your fingers went to the ring around your neck on the gold chain, breath catching in your throat.

“Poe… are you sure?” you asked him. He nodded.

“When this is over, I’m going to marry you.” he pronounced. You kissed him again, both of his arms going around you tightly.

“I would hope so. You brought me into this mess.” you joked. Poe laughed as he kissed you again, Chewbacca yelling behind you that you had to go jumping you out of your kiss. You pecked Poe on the lips one last time running up the Falcon and into the cockpit.

“If I have to see that one more time…” Lando started.

“Shut your mouth and let’s get going.” you mumbled. You leaned back in your seat as the Falcon took off, going into what you hoped was one final battle.

——

You blacked out the second you walked onto the surface. You saw Luke’s X-Wing and a TIE fighter by the entrance to the temple, and that was all you remembered before the world went black. You woke up to bright lights surrounding you, changed into a medical dress with blankets covering you. A groan managed to escape your lips and you were able to hear two sets of feet running up to you.

“Hey, hey - easy there, Squirt. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” the voice of your brother filled your ears as you heard your boyfriend calling for the nurse out in the hallway.

“Ben?” you choked out. Your vision straightened out as you were able to look to your brother.

“Yeah, it’s me.” he said to you. “Scared the shit out of everyone, by the way. A Star Destroyer had missed firing at something else and it went to the surface, knocking you back. Rey and I were coming out of the temple when Uncle Chewie was dragging you back in. Dameron almost lost his mind, too.”

“You’re really here?” you asked him sleepily, reaching a shaky hand up to touch his face. He nodded back to you, taking your hand.

“I’m here.” he said. You were overcome with emotion as you threw your arms around your brothers neck. Ben held you tightly yet gently, the two of you embracing for what felt like years. “I’m so sorry.” he said in a hushed tone.

“It’s okay. We’re okay.” you said to him quietly. The nurses came into the room and took over, quickly discharging you upon finding out that you were no longer bleeding from your head and that you seemed to be fine all around. Ben reluctantly let go of you to go off with Rey as Poe led you back to his quarters. The second you got back he nursed you onto the bed and you two laid together.

“I was so scared. I had never been that scared in my life. The way Ben yelled when he got here, holding you… my heart stopped. I thought you were dead but thank god… just a concussion.” Poe said to you, nestling you further onto his body.

“Fearless Poe Dameron, scared?” you joked quietly. You felt him chuckle a little bit as he brought you up to face him, pressing a kiss to your forehead before letting you lay.

“Yes. I was scared. Everything we’ve done in this war, that I’ve done… I never thought anything of it. Never got scared. It was just always the way, you know? Fighting endlessly until I got killed or until it was over. But that… I was actually terrified. I thought I lost you, right when we finally won. Rey tried to get me - us, to eat or something. Hydrate. Shower. Anything. Neither of us left.” Poe explained to you, tangling his fingertips into your hair gently.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily. We have a whole lot of life yet, now that we’ve won.” you said to him.

“That we do. I want to take you to Yavin 4 to meet my father, you’d love him. In the backyard is the Force Tree that your Uncle gave to my family. I can show you the remains of the old rebel base that your parents worked at… And I want to marry you.” he said to you sweetly, his face lighting up above you as he spoke of what the future held.

“I’d love nothing more, Poe.” you said to him, the two of you sitting in comfortable silence, just breathing each other in and sitting comfortably.

“I forgot to ask, why does Lando call you Princess?” Poe asked you. You laughed out loud, remembering the situation in which he gave you the nickname.

“Well, my mother was Princess Leia of Alderaan, right? So he started calling me Princess after she took on the role of General. He used to say Princess Alderaan, but shortens it to just Princess now. He got my whole family in on it when I was a kid.” you said to him, listening to his heartbeat and breathing above you.

“I like it. Princess Alderaan.” he hummed in your ear. You sat up straight and smiled, diving your lips down onto his.

The rest of your night you spent it making love, celebrating the end of the war and a new beginning moving forward.

tag list: @ihavefailedyouanakin , @bitch-imma-head-out , @ravngers , @xxsirensong , @benskywsolo , @theroyalbrownbarbie

[optimisticsprinkles]

The John Boyega Controversy

I noped out after getting the gist of it right after it happened, but it’s continued to rest heavily on my heart, so here we go. Don’t read if you don’t want to think about it (which I totally understand).

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The monstrosity that was “The Rise of Skywalker” left everyone emotional. Not just us fans but also those who made the movie. They all got a lot of hate, and some of that hate was probably racist. John (who played Finn) in particular was probably getting a ton of crap. I did not go through his twitter feed to confirm this, but I can imagine.

In the midst of this emotional time, he posted something... crass about Finn and Rey. If you didn’t see it, good. Don’t look for it.

Its crassness was disturbing enough, and felt disrespectful toward a beloved female character, but what really seemed to trigger most Reylos was the laughing/flippant tone toward Ben Solo’s death.

I cannot think of a single Reylo who wasn’t devastated by the loss of Ben Solo. Many had grief symptoms in the real world. Depression, trouble eating, trouble sleeping, etc. And no matter what someone outside of fandom thinks about grieving a character, it can and does happen.

When someone says it's just a book, movie, or game, it belittles the depth of the emotional investment you've made. It belittles your feelings. It says, "You don't have the right to care deeply about this."

(source, yes I quoted myself)

As a public figure, John probably got more negative feedback than any of us could imagine. And he was probably fed up by the time he posted his crass joke.

I forgive him.

I don’t think he understood (how could he?) how it landed in the grieving Reylo climate at that time, or how much more painful it made the grieving process.

I forgive him.

I doubt he understood what the women were going through who responded to his joke with disappointment, hurt, and anger or why it upset them. I think there were too many people coming at him, and he didn’t have the emotional energy to consider it in any depth, had he been inclined to do so. I think he’d gotten so much hate that he was just done with any kind of negativity and he couldn’t separate the hate-filled posts from the ones with legitimate concerns. So he reacted to grieving Reylo responses with taunting shrug gifs and a distinct lack of empathy.

I forgive him.

His joke hurt. It hurt me, you, us when we were already fragile.

I forgive him.

In situations like that, it’s better not to respond, but some people did. Some spoke out. I understand the urge, but that kind of thing just fans the flames, especially in a time so emotionally fraught on all sides. No one was in any state to sit down and have a calm, rational conversation, much less the world-famous celebrity who’d just been in the worst Star Wars movie to date (yes, I’m counting the Holiday Special). Everyone in that conversation was going through a lot, and it was a terrible time to have any conversation, much less one fueled by hurt.

Some of John’s defenders called the Reylo response racist, and from the (very) few I looked at, there was no merit for a racism accusation. In that context, it looked to me like racist was used a lot like Hitler is used: to have the last word and stop any meaningful discussion from taking place. To shut the other person up so the name-caller can win.

I’m sure there were legitimate racists tearing into John on social media. Again, I didn’t look for them, but he’s a black man in a Star Wars movie, so it’s pretty much guaranteed. But the (few) Reylo responses I saw were upset but otherwise fine. If there were Reylos who went there, I did not see them, but if someone linked me to something obviously racist, I’d be like, “Yeah, that one is. Fuck that person. The others are fine, tho.”

There seemed to be (and I saw this happen with a comic artist, as well) this idea that preferring Reylo over FinnRey is, itself, racism.

Fuck that noise.

I’m not going to say that there aren’t any racist Reylos. Statistically speaking, I’m sure we have a couple. I have not met them, myself, or I haven’t seen any evidence of it if I have. (It’s not like racists go around posting selfies of themselves at Klan meetings.) Racism itself is a spectrum, embedded in society, often subtle, and there is no measuring system that can accurately quantify how much of a person’s behavior is motivated by racism, sexism, or intolerance.

But I reject, wholesale, that liking one pairing that happens to be two white people over the pairing that is interracial is inherently racist. It offends me as a thinking human being to see anyone use that excuse to win arguments or fandom wars.

Maybe someone, someday, will do a study on race, attraction, and fandom ships. How all of that affects each other. Someone probably has done a study on race and physical attraction, which I think would be an interesting read, but what I don’t think is that someone should be shamed for being more attracted to a certain gender or appearance or personality or, yes, even race.

Because I believe, to the bottom of my heart, that attraction is not something we choose. Perhaps it can be influenced, but it can’t be forced. And I think attraction does play a role in ships, but attraction is a weird formula that maybe someone somewhere has figured out, but I don’t have a clue how it works. Again: perhaps it can be influenced, but it can’t be forced, and personal preferences re: attraction aren’t right or wrong. They just are.

Racism is not preferring one fictional couple to a different fictional couple. Racism (and you can correct me if my definition is far off the mark) has much more to do with how we treat each other than with what fictional couples we prefer.

I am not here to tell anyone I am not a racist. That’s not something anyone here can know for sure, as none of you know me in the real world or see my every waking moment. Racism is a subject for me, as a straight white woman, to try to understand. I say try because I know, as a straight white woman, it would be easy for me to fall into prejudicial patterns. And I hope that by not assuming I’m infallible, it can help me live in a sincere, thoughtful, and kind way.

But for accusations or arguments with strangers online who don’t know me and don’t know you and judge based on fictional pairings?

I say again: Fuck that noise.