#something in the air is making me extra insane lmfao

[blondiest]

btw i dont necessarily think grad school is hell on earth always but it is hell on earth if you try to get an applied physics degree without any background in physics or engineering. like i got through the math prereqs no problem, straight A's, but by the time i reached advanced electromagnetics about halfway thru my degree it was becoming extremely clear that working full-time while trying to teach myself introductory, intermediate, and advanced physics topics all at once was a pretty bad idea, actually,

[wormlette]

I do think a LOT about why Chilchuck would join the "save Falin" dungeon dive at all tbh and it makes me feel like eating drywall. Namari is the one who brings up the "I figured you'd be the first one to leave, you never take a job without getting paid" and he's like yeah. I do insist on payment up front. But do you think he was ever going to bring up his motivations on his own? If Namari hadn't? I don't think he would talk about it because I don't think it's really that simple. We find out in the ep that just aired a few things--

1) Chil is paid in advance, and however that works, he's apparently already been contracted for future dungeon dives too ? 2) The adventurer's community is tight-knit and full of gossip, so the things you do will have impact on what kind of work you can do going forward.

There are other things we know about Chil:

1) he's worked for Laios' party for three years. Namari was a member before him (she joined at the same time the husband hunter and some tall man guy joined, iirc) and Shuro was a member after him, but after those two leave, he's the person who's worked with the Toudens for the longest. 2) He's had some really shitty jobs in his past, especially pre-union. He understands very well what kinds of things people will use half-foots for. 3) He is thinking about retiring. He was going to retire before joining Laios' party.

And one thing we learned in the very first episode -- Laios told Marcille and Chilchuck that they should sell their equipment so he could go down on his own to rescue Falin. Chilchuck asks him if he's suicidal and then invites himself along for absolutely everything that goes down after. He's more ride-or-die about eating monsters than anyone other than Senshi. Him breaking his contract is obviously not something Laios would have held against him. Maybe it would have "Changed his clientele" as he says to Marcille about Namari in the latest ep, but also: HE COULD JUST RETIRE.

IDK PERSONALLY I JUST THINK this all adds up to an implication that he is really very fond of the Touden siblings. As Marcille notes when she's making a fanfic of his wife leaving him he's not the type to ever say his feelings out loud so it's not ever really gonna be said in the text of the story and THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. They seem to be a well-renowned party during the events of the story, but when he joined up with them they were just a year out from being bodyguards in a gold-peeling party with a few other no-name adventurers (as far as I know from the extras that have come out so far, the order of main chars joining the party went Laios&Falin->Namari->Chil->Shuro->Marcille.)

Three years AFTER HE WAS ALREADY CONSIDERING RETIRING he is willing to go on a journey that every other character thinks is fucking insane for the chance to rescue Falin, even though he is not an optimistic guy and he probably has a more realistic understanding of how dangerous dungeons are than anybody else in the group. If he started doing dungeon work when he left his home at 14 then he has about 15 years of dungeoneering experience by the time of the story. He would know what he's doing is actually EXTREMELY dangerous in a way resurrection magic doesn't actually eliminate. They are going down into a floor that's so far down the story has expressed "it's really dangerous to go there and most people don't because it will be hard for corpse retrievers and necessary supplies to get to you if you die. if you are eaten you might just be gone beause no one will ever find you."

I think he's harsh on Laios because he really cares about him and Falin. We know he ranks Laios' ability as a party leader as like a 61 or something lmfao but IMHO he is like that stern teacher who is forced by admin to put a 20pt curve on every exam because everybody is fuckin failing. Nobody is doing a good enough job. But he must have faith in the idea that Laios is able to do better if he has the right coaching (kicking and yelling at him). I JUST THINK the Touden party has been the best one he's worked in, or if not the best then his favorite, for him to keep doing it for THIS LONG when he SHOULD absolutely have his pick of contracts, given that "no other half-foots had the expertise necessary to accompany Laios to such a deep floor of the dungeon".

[ursbearhug]

Okay, I might be overdramatique because I'm pure tears pal but I have some incomprehensible babble to spew and my tumblr will suffer collateral damage of it.

So hi hello. In the Internet sphear I go by Percy. And if you don't know me, my favourite anime of all times is Kill la Kill.

For some reason, I catch myself rewatching it every now and then. I thought I might be watching it extra critically this time but I got lost in the sauce by the 3rd ad and didn't feel like doing any deeper inspection.

(No joke if that's how americans watch anime no fucking wonder you need power of anime AND gods on your side. In 24 episodes I've watched more ads in minutes than actual episodes, that's fucking insane. Nothing is sacred anymore, I swear)

KlK also marks one of my last anime ever watched. It aired in 2013, I think, and I've seen the OVA (I don't remember a bit of it though) but then somehow in 2014, I've started Akumo no Riddle but got bored by like episode 4 and never picked it, or any other series, again. In me teens I just couldn't justify wasting time watching anime, when I could actively do other stuff I enjoy and that requires more than physical form (aka I do something-anything).

I clearly have a soft spot for it. For some folk it is weird; on one hand I have a... Complicated relationship with nudity. One can say I do not like it very much. But it never crossed my mind that in 24 episodes, 80% of it is spent half naked. I just kind of got the nudity is used for narrative purposes and paid it no mind. For some it's just fan service for all the weebos to beat their meat to the drawing or whatever.

Well, I love the graphical style and prowess of KlK. I think (is the key word here) that klk and attack on titan (the title I use for it does not tranlsate into English and you cannot appreciate the peak of my humour, sadly) are semi close on the time line. And I remembered a lot of people going head over heels for attack's style, but I always liked klk's more. Also music-wise klk blows the attack on nonsense outta the water. Like, they wish they had such a good track in the series. Don't even get me FUCKING started on Garnidelia! A QUEEN.

And I've been crying for 10 minutes over Senketsu's death. Like a bitch. I've seen this ending like 5 times by now and it never fucking fails. Your fave could never 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also also, not a gospel or anything, so take it with grain of salt but I vaguely remember one day reading that Kill la Kill's title is actually a pun. What some people have noticed not a lot of killing takes place. Kiru ra kiru, as it could be pronounced, would be "to cut" and "to wear", which is quintessentially what the whole series is about. But then again, I'm not sure when, where or how I've read that and I'm also not well acquainted with Japanese (which is a polite way to say I can't read or speak it at all)(unless the meme-y japanglish counts; arigathanks gozaimuch and yamete kudastop and so on and so forth), so yeah. Take it and consider me an idiot making shit up, that's the safer way out lmfao.

Anyway, yeah, I'm a little vulnerable here, crying my eyes out to my pillow. Good night or something?

[rint4rous]

hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

��well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

[hatsukeii]

hello! could you possibly do a scenario where tsukki has a secret passion for dancing, n one of his favs genres to listen to is like 80's music ?? i prefer it to be like raining n dark, just you two. i want tsukki n the girl to be like rly good friends, but tuskki lowkey likes her jus a bit n the girl is like totes in love with him, but they dont rly know about each other, until they like kiss after the songs stops. wkhsjdbf idk if this is too much but i love your writing sm!! thank you. 🥺❤

Okay that’s super cute so don’t worry lool

80s and indie music are SUPERIOR NO ONE TELL ME OTHERWISE.

I was looking through my playlist bc I have 80s songs but then I realised IT’S ALL ROCK LMFAO SO I HAD TO STEAL SONGS FROM MY FRIENDS JAHAHAH

Like I can’t make them dance to ACDC or like Guns n’ Roses wtf are they gonna do air guitars?

But then I realised I literally have a song called we can get together sooo👀👀👀👀

And I genuinely love it so much SOOOO👀👀

Earphones// Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: None lol I’m not even gonna warn for swearing anymore if it’s just swearing then none

Summary: You randomly discover Tsukishima’s knack for dancing.

You always saw him as a calm, or sly person. He was witty, mean, sarcastic, an asshole in every way possible. He was that one person that would call everyone out for looking stupid while dancing at a party, or the one that would remind couples on Valentine's day that it was to celebrate the death of a tortured and beheaded saint. He was pretty much the most no-bullshit person you’ve ever met. It was as if he simply didn’t understand the meaning of enjoyment, and thrived to seek out every opportunity to ruin it for others as well. He rarely went to social events, never showed up at parties, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile genuinely. Ever. 

Yet tonight, you witnessed something you never thought would happen.

You see, every night, you would take a good old stroll around your neighbourhood. Tonight was no different, except it was pouring, the constant pitter patter of your umbrella clouding out any other sound that was coherent. Sometimes you might run into street vendors, other times you would get a bowl of ramen to fulfil your midnight hunger.

Walking along the street to your favourite convenience store, instead of an eerily empty park, what you saw was Tsukishima Kei, the one person you were somehow close to, sitting in a park, with no headphones on. What a shocker.

Ever since you gave him those iconic white headphones, he has never gone anywhere without them. It was as if those headphones were a staple of your friendship, or more so, how much he meant to you. Just saying, those things were expensive. Like eighteen thousand yen expensive. You knew how much Tsukishima enjoyed listening to music, especially whilst doing work. You saved up for months, just to scrape together enough money to get him a brand new pair of headphones to replace his broken ones that only worked in one ear and had shitty quality. You would never admit it, but something in your heart clenched at the sight of the absence of those headphones you spent so much on. Many might have thought you were just sensitive, but they didn’t understand. In fact, no one would understand how insanely in love you were with him. 

“Hey, beanstalk.”

The blond looked up from his phone, his legs crossed on the bench.

“Well, would you look who’s here. It’s the infamous shorty.”

You approached his hunched-over figure, taking a seat next to him on the bench. “So, why are you here? It’s pretty late already.” Shoving your earphones into your ear, you hastily scrolled through your playlist, trying to hold off the urge to ask where his headphones were. “Lost my umbrella while going home from practise, it’s raining cats and dogs, I’m not looking to get soaked while going home, so I’m waiting for the rain to stop. Thank God I brought an extra sweater, my uniform is all wet and gross.” Chuckling, you punched him playfully, muttering a quick “Idiot,” before picking a song. You were very low-key about your feelings towards him. God knows how he would react if you ever told him. He would probably ignore you for the rest of your high school lives. Even worse, he might make fun of you for being childish and emotional. Just the thought of it sent shivers up your spine and a dark feeling towards your chest. Shaking your head, you tried your best to drown yourself in the terrifyingly loud music that was blasting through your earphones. From next to you, Tsukishima could hear every single note that was playing from the internal speakers. He scooted closer to you, much to your embarrassment. You grabbed your phone, pretending to scroll through it when in reality, you were just trying to hide the burning blush that was now painted on your cheeks. He paid attention to every little sound that came out of those tiny little earbuds, as if trying to figure out what song you were listening to was a fun game. Noticing the sudden absence of music in your left ear, you heard a tiny, almost breathy chuckle, followed by a pull on the earphone jack. “Pulp, hm? Nice taste you got there.” your eyes widened in surprise, mouth curling up into a wide smile. “Ahhh, never thought the great Tsukishima Kei would know them.” The blond smirked, shoving the rubber tip into his ear. “What do you mean? I have a playlist dedicated to this kind of stuff. 80s music will forever be superior.” You rolled your eyes, not falling for his shit. “Nonono, no way. Hand it over, I need to see for myself. I’m convinced you’re listening to raptor mating calls on a daily basis.” The blond shrugged, dropping his phone onto your lap. “See for yourself.” Opening up his Spotify, you were bombarded with a huge selection of his playlists. “Right there shorty, that’s the one you’re looking for?” Pointing his nimble finger at a specific one that was labeled “Old Stuff,” you scrolled through every single song, not believing what you’re seeing. “Holy shit, and I thought you would be into indie or EDM or something like that. This is some new information that I have to process.” Snatching his phone back, he wiped the screen with his sweater, turning it off. “That’s enough snooping for today. Come back at snooping hours again.”

It was at that moment, did the song decide to change. 

“Yeah, no. We’re skipping this shit.” You acted sad, fake pouting and huffing out. “But Tsukishima! All Star is God’s work, you can’t just skip it! Here, I’ll sing it for you!” The blond tried to look at you in disgust, but the smile he was holding back was clear as day, biting his lip as he tried not to laugh at your silly antics. “Oh God (Y/N) please no-” 

Too late.

“SomeBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORRRLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME, I AIN’T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEDDDD.”

“Absolutely not.” Laughing softly, Tsukishima managed to heave out.

Grabbing your phone and shoving it in front of your face, he unlocked it with ease, navigating his way through the five pages of otome games to find your Spotify. “Jesus Christ, never knew you were this desperate for a man.” The tips of his ears were red, one thought circling his mind. 

If she really wanted a boyfriend, would she pick him? 

Grabbing his arm, you begged for him to let you continue jamming to All Star. You were shaking him, trying to grab your phone, but nothing worked. “Nooo! Kei! Nooooo lemme listen to the Shrek sex anthem!” 

“No.” 

Scrolling through your usual playlist, his eyes landed on one particular song. “Hm? What’s this? You listen to Icehouse? Nice taste you got there.” Your grip on his arm loosened up as you looked up at him in shock. “You know them too! Yes! They’re very much adequate.” You stared in awe as the blond smiled from ear to ear, picking a song much to your dismay. “Yesss I love this song with my whole heart. My dinosaurs make way for this.” Hearing the similar synth, you instantly knew what he had picked. “Seriously? You like this song? It’s like cheesy as shit! This is so out of character for you oh my God Kei.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, completely done with you. “It’s a good song, don’t come at me. Plus, if you think it’s so cheesy, then just delete it.” You frowned. You liked that it was cheesy. You always imagined someone singing it to you, most of the time this imaginary person being Tsukishima. “I like this song too, it’s fine.” The two of you sat in comfortable silence, your earphone jack being the only thing connecting you guys. The park felt weird. You felt weird. This whole situation was weirdly unreal. It was as if the two of you were stuck in a parallel universe, where you and Tsukishima were the only people that existed in that timeline. The silence was thick in the starry night sky, the streetlamps occasionally flickering as the song continued to play. Humming along to the addicting tune, you don’t even realise your body that’s starting to rock, arms swaying from side to side to the rhythm of the chorus. 

“We can get together,“

“Get up.”

A hand comes into your sight, willing for you to take it as you feel another tug on your earphones.

“What?”

“You wanna dance, don’t you?”

Never in a million years, would the thought of Tsukishima being able to dance even cross your mind.

 “What? It’s raining, I thought you said you didn’t wanna get soaked-”

“Just take my hand and dance with me.”

Hesitating a bit as you looked up at the blond, you raised a brow, grinning playfully as you let your hand fall into his, pulling yourself up and letting him take your other hand. You felt the cold droplets of water fall onto your skin and rolling off, the fabric of your shirt going damp.

“Just take one step forward,” he instructed, motioning for you to follow along with his dance moves. “Then take another step backwards. Everything else will come into place soon enough.” Lacing your fingers with his, the two of you danced in perfect sync, having the time of your lives. “I am learning so, so much about you right now and I’m all for it. Why’d you never tell me you could dance?” Tsukishima’s cheeks went a light pink, looking away bashfully. “It’s embarrassing.” Chuckling, you twirled yourself around, pulling on his arm as you forced his attention back onto you. “It’s not. I think it’s super cool. Do this with a girl and they’ll be head over heels for you in no time.” You mentally facepalmed yourself for saying that. His blush went from a light pink, to a dark red in no time, saturating his cheeks like paint. “Let’s test that theory out.” Mumbling to himself, he continued to guide you, twirling you around and hoisting you up at times.

“Baby we can get together, we can get together.”

The two of you were just jamming along now, not caring about your wet hair and soaked clothes. Tsukishima’s hair was now a damp mess, sticking to his forehead as he whipped his head from side to side, laughing as water droplets flew off his blond strands. Your hair was no better than his, (H/C) strands reflecting the light from the streetlamps as they hit your face with every sway of your head. The earphones were falling off at this point, but it didn’t matter. The two of you already memorised the entire song beforehand. All you wanted was to enjoy the short moment. Grabbing his wet hand again, you randomly started jumping to the beat, letting the blond follow along.

“Later sometime, you can buckle my shoes, you can pick up my sticks, why don't you open that door.”

You gasped in surprise as you felt a large hand spin you around one last time, before dipping you dangerously close to the floor, rainwater rolling off your face. The song came to an end with its final guitar chord, the reverb still ringing in the background. “So, what’d you think?” Tsukishima leaned down, his face dangerously close to yours. Feeling a Cheshire grin form on your face as your tried to raise your head up, you gave his nose a boop with your own, before falling back onto his hand. “That was amazing.” Giving you a cheeky grin, you could feel his breath on your face as he sighed contentedly. His breath smelled like mints, you couldn’t help but wonder how lips would taste too. “You good now, or do you wanna go home? I think the rain just stopped.

Still in that intimate position, you decided to finally ask him.

“Where are the headphones?”

“I didn’t want to get them wet, they’re too important to me. They’re in my bag.”

And that’s when your body decided to act on its own.

Your mind couldn’t even register what you were doing as you pressed a long, soft kiss on Tsukishima’s lips, feeling the heat radiating off of him.

“Now I’m good. Wanna go home?”

“Did you just-”

“Yes.”

Pushing you back up to a comfortable position, he stared at you for another ten seconds, face burning crimson as his mouth opened and shut repeatedly, trying to process what you just did. Finally snapping out of his thoughts, he awkwardly leaned towards you, before pulling himself back. After doing that a few times over, you were properly confused. Grabbing your shoulders, he pressed a firm kiss to your forehead, before grabbing his bag from the bench he was sitting on, pulling his headphones out and hanging them on his neck, handing you the earphones.

“Wanna do this again tomorrow shorty?”

“11pm sharp, don’t be late, and I expect another kiss.”

“Whatever you say cutie.”

Tags:

@tiger1719 @burnt-tomato @thirstyvolleyballhoe @agentvicinity @izzyphantomgamer @sunshines-and-tatertots @sakusasgarbage @trashcanweeb @kaylacinderella @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @random-fandomlover @bokutokoutarou @for-ests @mariechan123 @justachillgirl @ewfilthymundane @just-another-bored-writer @inlwlevi @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu

I’m gonna check over the tags again tmr so feel free to dm or comment if I missed you or if you wanna be in the taglist

Eyyyy this isn’t that great but I hope you like it and feel free to give me feedback both good and bad lol love you guys I’m going to sleep now baiiii

[anbu-legacy]

Every time you post I say "this time I'll write some sort of review" and finally we are here

Okay firstly, just in general this was great and I love it because I love anything that explores new parts of Narutoland but also because it is delightful I am only just a little sad we’re not getting a proper whodunnit (but I guess that’s more Intel’s thing, generally) because my sad is eclipsed by my delight.

Anyway – the review, as written while reading and totally unedited.

“They stole the lieutenant? He was kind.” Kakashi dragged a hand over his face. “After the captain hit him. Nomiya beat his wife.” “I sparred with him,” Raidou protested.

Ok not even going to lie – this is, while tragic af – adorable. Sad because I can just imagine Harubi praying at her tiny shrine for aid, ever chance she could get. Or worse, only asking for help once her children were in danger. But adorable because of course the tanuki like the lieutentant. And want to save him – everyone loves Genma and we all want him to be his best and happiest self, y/y?

(Except no, because pain makes for the best writing material sorry everybody)

(But also not sorry)

What followed was one of the strangest conversations Raidou had ever witnessed. Kakashi, with his economy of speech and movement that seemed so disjointed in human interaction, slotted into place as naturally as breathing. Raidou recognized that questioning head tilt echoed back by listening dogs; the silent, watchful glances that lingered a second beyond comfortable; the predatory edge polished like a fine weapon. Here, Kakashi’s hair and mask just looked like markings, no more notable than that shepherd’s black-tipped ears, or that hound’s white-ticked coat. It explained a lot.

Insert “heart eyes motherfucker” gif here bc omg

This is the best explanation ever given – I love how much you expand on the Hatake family background here without ever getting weighed down in exposition. Plus this is just so well written – it feels like a revelation for Raidō and us (ignoring the fact that it is – I mean that you’ve also conveyed the emotion of that as well as providing it).

And then Kakashi’s reaction after Ryouma offers yknow *waves hand in non-spoilery motions* just. Perfection, how he’s become so like pack and made them part of his and wants to protect them so much ugh.

And I love the little insight into the Old Ones ‘“You have broken pieces inside, human,” the black wolf informed him, like Raidou might not have noticed.’ Both intelligent and so animal at the same time. And calling Kakashi snake-mind. I just love it all so much it’s rendered me less than eloquent. Also loving that everyone just thinks everyone else involved with this is some insane alien creature – Kurenai thinks the ANBU are bonkers; Kakashi thinks Ryouma’s bonkers, Raidō thinks this whole thing is bonkers and the wolves, presumably, think these humans are entitled little shits. Who would be more palatable as food, maybe?

IDK am not a wolf-god-thing can’t really speak to that perspective too much.

And of course the lady God Wolf likes Ryouma lmfao he has a wooing technique for every scenario

“I’ll listen next time.” Pakkun made a rude sound. “No, you won’t.

U right Pakkun – and no one else in all of canon would either because Konoha ninja are like that.

I’m really enjoying, too how disorienting the tanuki-related scenes are, you manage to really give us a sense of what suddenly missing chakra is like, even though that’s not something we the reads can actually empathize with. It does make me think, though, about how a shinobi-attack on non-shinobi would seem – would it be similar? Nothing and then bam horrible things that twist the world around you, make you stab the air and remove any idea of what’s real and what’s not.

(obviously I do think this is like that - and it makes Genma’s tanuki mask even more appropriate)

And maybe I shouldn’t be but I’m kinda laughing a little at the last exchange. The tanuki appear to have a very different idea of what’s going on which is terrific.

– basically this was really great and not just narratively but also your writing seemed extra good this thread. I mean, it’s always excellent but you’ve really managed a few cases of really clear emotion here, and emotions that aren’t as easy to convey as sadness or anger or even exhaustion.

[nozakiu]

Seowaka hanging out and people keep thinking they're a couple? (Pls?)

ok so i’m sorry i let this sit in my inbox for a while but i’m here now and let me just say I CAN TOTALLY see seowaka being THAT couple that faked a proposal just so they can get free cake at a restaurant or something like that so LMFAO.

___

Wakamatsu wasn’t sure why he kept taking Seo out on “dates”. Of course, he still comes up with as many bullshit excuses as he can though. 

“I have two tickets to this movie and all my friends happened to bail on me and I don’t want it to go to waste!” 

“I have a gift-card that still needs to be used so I can buy a coffee for you if you want!”

“I’m not saying I’m giving you these cookies as a gift, I just sort of realised I bought extra so if you want some you’re welcome to have them!”

It was the fourth of fifth time Wakamatsu had taken Seo out somewhere that he sort of realised they had formed some resemblance of a relationship over the time they’ve hung out together. Seo probably wouldn’t admit her and Wakamatsu were maybe possibly on platonic terms even if the Lord himself descended from the heavens and commanded her to, but Wakamatsu could tell that slowly, him and Seo were becoming what normal people would call good friends.

The thing is, Seo was anything but a normal person.

She wasn’t afraid of cars and skipped across cross-walks without even looking one direction. She didn’t care about femininity and made it obvious in the way was loud and bold in her movements and talked with her mouth full, never the type of girl to sit quiet and just be seen. Half of the time their “dates” would end by Wakamatsu frantically trying to convince Seo that no you can’t just hop into the ball-pit you’re not 8 years old anymore or dragging her away from an arcade because she had gotten pissed at a crane game she lost and started beating up the machine.

Not saying that Wakamatsu didn’t have a good time though. Everytime on the ride home, he’d catch himself smiling to the window as the sound of Seo’s brash laughter still played in his ears - she didn’t have a dainty laugh but it was contagious and just thinking about her giggles made a grin want to split Wakamatsu’s face.

The only thing that ever deterred him was when they’d get mistaken for a couple while they were out. One time at the ice-cream parlour, the cashier had looked at them and smiled, saying “It’s a discount deal for couples who want to share a sweet treat together!” and before Wakamatsu could even sputter that they weren’t dating, Seo was immediately snatching the cash from his hands to tell the cashier “We’ll take it.”

Seo didn’t seem to care whenever people thought they were a couple. Waiters at restaurants that would greet them and ask, “And what can I get for this lovely couple?” or “Is the boyfriend going to be paying tonight?” When they went clothes shopping and the shop assistant would ask Wakamatsu “doesn’t your girlfriend look beautiful?” when Seo would try on some clothes. Going to the movies and people would smile and ask them, “Ah, are you two on a date?”

If anything, Seo just used it to her advantage to talk up to employees and get discounts. Wakamatsu just hoped his cheeks didn’t look too pink as he let Seo drain his wallet because Wakamatsu was too nice to ever say no to anybody, especially Seo and her particular glutton for the gummy candies that the movie theatre sold.

The first time it actually mattered though was when he and Seo were eating out for dinner.

It was a fairly formal restaurant, and at this point Wakamatsu knew by far this wasn’t a standard place you’d take just a friend, but Seo had said she wanted some fancy cuisine so they took a table anyway. The meals were expensive though, and they both knew Wakamatsu would still pay anyway, but then a lightbulb seemed to go off in Seo’s head and Wakamatsu hesitated.

“No,” he said.

“No what?!” Seo asked, and Wakamatsu scoffed.

“Please. I recognise that look in your eyes. You’re planning something malicious and terrible and I’m just going to say right now that no - whatever you’re planning on doing, it’s not happening.”

Seo had the gall to laugh. “Me? If anything, my ideas are genius.”

“The last ‘genius’ idea you had was to somehow sneak above the catwalks during a play because you ‘wanted a better view’ and ended up dropping your jacket on the main lead actor,” Wakamatsu said flatly. “I don’t want to get ushered out of a nice restaurant like this because you decide to spike someone else’s drink for fun or something.”

“I swear it’s nothing dangerous like that, Waka,” Seo said, and the nickname made Wakamatsu want to flick her on the forehead. “It’s totally safe and there is no harm in it. Plus, it’ll get us free cake.”

“I’m sorry, what? Free cake-?”

“Propose to me.”

Wakamatsu nearly choked on his ice water, and he looked at Seo like she was mad. She just calmly looked back at him, waiting for his response, and Wakamatsu glanced around furiously to make sure nobody was possibly overhearing them.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, propose to me!” Seo said. “The staff will feel obliged to give us a celebratory cake dessert in congratulations, and there you go! Free dessert!”

Wakamatsu was sure his cheeks were as pink as the rose that sat delicately between them on the table. “You’re insane. I don’t even have a ring.”

Seo paused, then plucked a simple gold band off of her right hand. It was a ring that her parents had given her as a birthday gift, and she tossed it to Wakamatsu, who barely caught it. “Use this one. Pretend you’ve been holding onto it for me.”

Of all ideas Seo had tried in hopes to get free food, this had to be the craziest. Wakamatsu only took a sip of his water. “You want me to propose to you with your own ring? Are you serious, Seo?”

“Free cake!” Seo said, wiggling her eyebrows persuasively. “Pleaase, Waka. Do you not want to marry me?”

This time, Wakamatsu did choke on his water, and his coughing plus Seo’s brash laughter caught the attention of a few people sitting at nearby tables. When they eventually resumed their meals and Seo had calmed down, Wakamatsu sighed.

“Do you really want free cake that badly, Seo? You know I can pay for a regular order of dessert-”

“Just do it, Waka,” Seo hissed. “Oh, and make sure you’re loud and public about it. Wanna make sure we catch their attention.”

Wakamatsu couldn’t believe he was doing this, but as said before, he was never someone to say no. And as he slowly stood up out of his seat to kneel next to Seo, clutching her ring in his hand and nervously looked around the restaurant before lowering to one knee, he wondered just how he managed to get himself this whipped for the brown-eyed girl who was sitting calmly in front of him.

“Yuzuki Seo,” he announced, loud enough that a few eyes flickered to him. As people saw Wakamatsu on one knee and the way he held the ring in his hand, it was easy for people to assume what was happening and a few awed gasps could be heard around the tables.

“As one of my greatest friends,” Wakamatsu began, “you have always managed to make me smile. Everytime we are together, it’s always memorable and amazing.” 

In the back of his head, he realised he didn’t want to sound completely fake in his speech to give them away, and so he tried to be as real as possible with his words, starting to pull some genuine truths into it.

“Even if you’re a little bit crazy and oblivious, and have reckless ideas that I’m more often than not the one that has to drag you out of them, I still end up always having the best times with you. You always manage to make me laugh, whether it’s because you say something funny or it’s with your own, because your laugh is so contagious.”

At that, Seo’s cheeks tinted a little pink, and she reached a hands up to cover her mouth. In the back of his head, he thought she’s good at acting.

A quietness had fallen upon the restaurant. People were now staring in awe at Seo and Wakamatsu, and Wakamatsu swore in the back of his mind.

“And I just wanna say, I love you. I love spending time with you and being around you, because everytime I do, I can tell we are making memories that I know I will look back at later with fondness.”

And as Wakamatsu carefully presented the ring to Seo, he said, “so I ask you, Yuzuki Seo, if you’d please continue making memories with me for the rest of our lives, and make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

And as Seo stood up, cheeks passionately red and nodding furiously while chanting, “yes! Yes!” and the restaurant burst into applause, the waiters dutifully giving them a free celebratory cake dessert with ‘congratulations’ written out in frosting on the top just as Seo had anticipated, Wakamatsu decided he definitely needed to start learning how to say no to people.

___

“Yah, Waka!” Seo yelped in happiness later that night as they left the restaurant, their bellies full and cheeks pink. “You never told me you were good at acting!”

Wakamatsu had to inhale a cold breath of air before replying, as something in the back of his head said yeah, because some of it was actually real. “I could say the same for you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush before.”

Seo cackled at that, and Wakamatsu felt a smile tug at his lips. “We are both amazing. And I told you - nobody got hurt! And we stole away with free cake, and they even gave us a discount on our meal! My plans aren’t always terrible, eh?”

“I guess not, but I wouldn’t be so confident,” Wakamatsu said, chuckling. “This is only one time versus at least a dozen other plans that weren’t that successful.”

“Aish, there’s always gonna be haters,” Seo scoffed, rolling her eyes, and Wakamatsu grinned. As he glanced at her, he noticed the ring was still on Seo’s left hand ring finger - if anything, he expected her to put it back on her right hand where she always wore it. 

As they walked to the station for their rides, Seo gently elbowed him with her shoulder. “You should trust me more, Waka. Next time, I’ll make it so that we get free clothes or something when we go shopping.”

“Seo, I’ve told you I don’t approve of shoplifting,” Wakamatsu said, and Seo laughed. And as they eventually parted ways to go to their own homes, Wakamatsu realised his heart was still thrumming from the excitement of fake-proposing to Seo.

I wonder if she could tell I was being truthful in some of the things I said, he mused as he made his way to his home. If only I had a real ring to give to her at the time.

And when Wakamatsu notices that Seo from then on starts wearing her ring on her left hand now, well - he never really gives a reason why when Seo asks him why he’s smiling like that.

x

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2s3msOw

Scandals happen to even the best of us. Rules were made to be broken, right? If you have the unfortunately public life of a famous person, just about each and every thing you do ends up being a scandal. If it wasn’t such a big deal, all those tabloid magazines would go out of business. Some of the details described in the following confessions are not things that most of us have come across during our sexual exploits, so these things may make you question your own experimentation. There are, however, certain things that you may hear about that we would not recommend trying at home, or really, trying at all. Even though some of the following scandals are atrocious, others are simply gross or hilarious, and some are even both. Being as these are celebrities’ lives we are inclined to think that the things that might turn you or me on are on a totally different level in terms of judgment when it comes to things that we prefer. Some of the following stories are spilled secrets from alleged groupies while others are not-so-sexy confessions from the star’s own lips. Regardless, these stories will make you think twice about some of your favorite celebrities. Some are weird, other habits we could see from a mile away, yet all are scandalous in their own way (except for the tidbit about DMX, that’s just pure weird entertainment). Sit back and enjoy learning about some of the scandalous not-so-secret secrets of your fave celebs either from groupies or the celebs themselves.

#1 Pitbull Lets Pregnant Women Drink Aye Papi! Say it ain’t so! You’ve probably heard by now that Reddit had a thread that encouraged groupies or those that had supposedly “hooked up” with celebrities to come forward with the dirty details. As one would expect, the Internet came alive with replies. While some are too wild to possibly be true, others have actually been verified with more than one other person. According to one of those Reddit users, Pitbull allowed a pregnant woman in his entourage both drink alcohol and light up a cigarette right in front of him! The person that leaked the story said that the woman had at least two drinks with a cigarette in between before she couldn’t watch any more of this travesty unfold and she had to leave the room. We certainly hope that this is one of those stories that isn’t what it seems. Maybe the chick was just incredibly fat? We hope.

#2 Drake Likes To Have His Salad Tossed Eating the booty hole, while we think it’s utterly disgusting, is actually practiced by enough people to make it a popular thing. One of the events that most likely made others more confident to come out of the closet when it came to things that get them off is when a groupie took to the web to explain, in detail, how her face was in Drake’s rear end. In a horrifyingly detailed entry, she goes on to say “He was laying there on the bed with his legs spread open and my face in his butt and his legs shaking.” While it wouldn’t be our thing to take to the Internet to tell the world where your lips were the night before, we suppose, if it was a famous booty, that story needed to be shared.

#3 Quentin Tarantino Likes To Suck Toes There are a lot of people out there who have a foot fetish, A LOT. And that’s great, feet aren’t MY thing, but that’s ok too. When it comes to feet in a sexual manner, there are a few practices that we feel take things a little overboard, at least when it comes to our preference. Sucking toes is one of them. Sucking toes while jerking off because that’s your thing is another one of those items that just takes the whole experience to a level of “no” for us. A good foot massage is really nice here and there but sucking toes isn’t our idea of pleasure, but, apparently for Quentin Tarantino, it is. To each their own, but that’s a fetish we’re going to have to pass on.

#4 Johnny Depp & His Huge Barbie Collection Johnny Depp has been a man that has had no shame in showing his various sides. There’s no way he could have gone from Edward Scissorhands to Pirates of the Caribbean to playing the part of the Mad Hatter without his eclectic and eccentric personality. Even though he has proven himself in his acting roles, he did once say that he would be embarrassed if his friends found out that he was “familiar” with women’s clothing. By familiar, we believe he means he fancies wearing them. On top of that, he plays with Barbie dolls and apparently has quite the collection. It appears he might be trying to go for a six-year-old little girl vibe. As long as he keeps his acting up, we guess we can dig it.

#5 Kristen Stewart Likes Her Armpits Licked Loving the scent of your significant lover isn’t all that strange, it’s one of the numerous ways our body communicates with itself and with others. If this wasn’t true, then we wouldn’t spend so much money on perfumes and colognes that try to attract the other sex. We wouldn’t have people who preferred to forgo the whole deodorant thing because they loved the smell their own stench. If you belong to the latter, chances are Kristen may just have a thing for you. Apparently, she not only loves the smell of different men (or, I guess, women), especially their armpits, but she also enjoys having her own armpits licked. We like having things licked as much as the next person, but we’re good on the whole armpit area.

#6 Xtina’s Dirrty Secret Ever since she hit the scene, Christina has been a bombshell. Well, not her kid phase, but everything after that. We are used to seeing her in tight skimpy outfits that leave little to the imagination. After seeing her in some of these “getups” it didn’t come as a surprise when she came out saying “I’m really into fetish gear and latex.” We could see that, and from here we aren’t complaining about the view. Even though the “Dirrty” singer has had some very public trouble battling the bulge, we think she’s absolutely stunning with or without a little extra meat on her bones as long as she keeps the latex outfits coming!

#7 Angelina Jolie – S&M And Blood Play It’s not really a surprise that Angelina Jolie made it onto this list. She is, in fact, a definite kinkster. She may have calmed down during her long-time relationship with Brad Pitt, but since the two split, she might be headed back to her scandalous ways. What ways are we talking about here? Her S&M and her famous “blood play.” Back when Jolie was dating Billy Bob Thornton, tales would always come out about their insane sexcapades. During these crazed sex-filled nights, they would partake in knife play where they would cut each other with knives and lick the blood away. If that wasn’t creepy enough, the pair also took to wearing vials of each other’s blood around their necks and adorned to their clothing. Nothing says love quite like vials of blood.

#8 Kim Kardashian’s Risque Clothing Kimmy K is known as one of America’s sexiest women. Whether or not you believe her butt is real doesn’t mean you think that it’s any less than amazing. Since she was graced with such a rockin’ body, we don’t really blame her for wearing pieces of clothing that look like they belong in an adult toy store. However, since she got her claim to fame because of a “leaked” sex tape, this shouldn’t be all that surprising. In fact, Kim Kardashian has worn so much porn star-worthy clothing that we think she might have developed a fetish for the stuff. The majority of her outfits leave nothing to the imagination which means every curvy inch is heavily exposed. She looks like a walking lingerie ad. But, just like Christina, until you give us something unforgivable, we just want the risque clothing to keep coming.

#9 LMFAO Tag Team Women The EDM duo dowhat a lot of guys in frat houses do, they tag team the groupies they sleep with. While this seemingly masculine rite of passage is a conquest more than a few men wish to encounter, you might not think that this is all that impressive or even scandalous. However, take into account the fact that they aren’t only related, they are uncle and nephew. That’s definitely closer “family bonding” than we’ve cared to experience, and it seems that it could potentially cause a lot of problems. Just imagine if one of their sexcapades got knocked up. Talk about one of the most scandalous paternity tests of the century and just think about the awkwardness at their next Thanksgiving. Everyone would be asking “who’s the daddy.”

#10 Russell Brand And His Air Moves We are more than aware that Russell Brand is fond of things that are weird. By now, he’s known for it. He does, however, have a fetish that goes beyond the description of weird into something stranger. Once he was found to be a fan of a pornography that involved a man in a wheelchair, but that isn’t as weird as this next part. Apparently, Katy, as in Perry, once said that she had stumbled across a box of unlabeled DVDs. Curious, she popped one in the DVD player to see what the unnamed fuss was about and she was disturbed at the sex acts she was seeing Russell perform. He was engaging in what is called “air sex” where the person, usually clothed, gets off by humping and grinding with the air. What a sight to see.

#11 Lil Bow Wow Takes Your Phone & Makes You Sign Your Life Away For someone who is rather lax on things like getting pictures of his own plane to boast, post, and brag about, it seems rather ironic that Bow Wow would go to such lengths to protect his privacy and his name when it comes to those he sleeps with. After Houston Rockets star James Harden was put on blast when a groupie slept with him and uploaded the proof to her Instagram account, Bow Wow felt it his responsibility to tell him the rules of the game and the things he did to get by. These “things” include: getting the shorty to sign “papers” as well as cough up her cell phone for the duration of the evening. The rule goes that she gets her phone back when she leaves. How romantic.

#12 Someone From The Dave Matthews Band Made A Mess In Their Underwear Whoever did this is nasty, so we are sort of thankful that we don’t know exactly who is responsible for this disaster. One Reddit user came forward with a confession, but it wasn’t exactly hers, it was her sister’s. Apparently, the two saw the band and hung out together afterward. Long story short, the sister slept with one or more of the band members, but that’s not the worst part. After the fact, the Reddit user says she found a pair of men’s underwear on their balcony and they were full of sh*t. Not only is that horribly embarrassing, but why in the hell didn’t you use the restroom like a normal person, and why would you leave the evidence?!

#13 Shaq Frequently Honors His Red Wing License For those of you who don’t know what the term getting your “red wings” means, it means that a person is getting a mouthful of a woman’s menstrual blood. If you just vomited in your mouth a little, we did too. Regardless of how putrid we may think this act is, people out there still do it, including famous people. Take Shaq for example, not only does he enjoy renewing his red wing subscription, but he upgrades his membership frequently. In fact, an ex-girlfriend of his once said that she tried to avoid the man during that time of the month because of his obsession. Vanessa Lopez shared the secret so you know if you’re getting busy with this bloodhound, he won’t stop just because you’re on your cycle. He seems to prefer it that way.

#14 Tom Cruise’s Wrestling Session Ended In Butt Play Sometimes when people wrestle, feelings of arousal begin to surface. When Tom Cruise had a wrestling sesh with gay porn star and escort, Paul Barresi, he experienced that effect. What started off as a few Roman-Greco power moves quickly turned into some intimate butt play and masturbation. Since this isn’t the first, and probably won’t be the last, time that Tom Cruise has had rumors of being gay circling around him, we are inclined to believe that this story is also one that is true. We know that many women around the world would have killed to have a one-on-one wrestling match with the actor, but it looks like he has a certain type when it comes to who he wrestles with. Tough luck, ladies.

#15 DMX’s Answering Machine Is Just Him Barking This bit of information isn’t at all scandalous, and it doesn’t even involve sex, sort of. Another Reddit user says that his roommate’s mom slept with the rapper and had heard his voicemail message. Now it wasn’t a perverted or a creepy message, it was the rapper himself barking for an extended period of time. You might think that this seems a little far-fetched, but since we’ve listened to the sounds he makes in his music, we are inclined to believe that this story, while bizarre, is still true. Although we are a little upset that he didn’t record it and release it to the world so that we could have him barking as our ringtone or message alert. He shouldn’t have been so selfish.

Source: TheRichest