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under-lore · 1 year

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The absolute state of Undercards

This isn't the kind of post i usually make, but well, theorists can make call out posts too. And regarding this topic, it seems that no one else is going to do it if i don't so...

I need to talk about Undercards. And particularly what's been going on behind the scenes in this fangame & its community and that it seems no one wants to speak up about. I've been thinking of doing this for a while and at this point i think i should just go ahead and explain it.

Okay, before we get into the controversy, i'll present the game a little bit for those who haven't heard of it. (And for those who don't care about this part, just scroll down a little bit until the next bold text.)

Undercards is an online multiplayer Undertale/Deltarune fangame which is basically just Yu-gi-oh or Hearthstone, except that cards, spells and such are all Undertale & Deltarune themed. It was popularised a few years ago mostly by youtuber Merg.

The gameplay looks something like this :

This game has a bit of a Gacha side, but it is entirely possible for any new FTP player to climb the ranks quite quickly or to obtain anything a P2W player could obtain somewhat easily, making it not unfair in that regard.

The game has an entertaining mastery curve and progress in ranked leagues (the main part of the game) is primarly decided by improvements in one's strategy regarding synergy of your deck, artifacts & soul, which are all to be chosen by the player to get the best chance at victory.

So, this all sounds like a pretty neat fangame, doesn't it ? So what's wrong ? What is the point of this post about ?

The issues

Whilst the game itself can indeed be quite fun, there exists a very serious problem regarding its community, and particularly its moderation team which sabotages its own game.

I'll start with some of the more minor issues before moving on to more important ones. I will also mention that i will not cover personal experiences (as much as i want to) and rather focus on larger trends to avoid biases or fallacious generalisations of individual cases.

The balance bias

The game has a very severe balance issue, which is nearly entirely caused by the moderators serving their own interests over that of the game.

Because here is the thing :

Many of the moderators (and by that i mean, the ones who's opinions seriously count for the balancing, really) are also the game's top players.

This game not only has greater rewards for achieving higher ranks every month, but even beyond the highest rank, it also has a live public leaderboard of the top players of each month.

However, if you check the monthly rankings of the game in any given season, the top spots are practically entirely monopolised by the moderators and by the alternative accounts of the moderators. (Some have had up to 5 accounts at once)

In other words, those who decide which cards should be buffed or nerfed are also the same people who will benefit or suffer from rebalancing their own cards, or know what tiny change to make to a card to suddenly make it very valuable in their specific decks.

This leads to some pretty silly situations, such as moderators buffing cards that genuinely deserved to be nerfed to secure their own interests. Or, on the other side of the issue, there are regularly cases where 9 out of the top 10 players all use the same clearly overpowered card in all of their decks, but the moderators will continue to deny that the card needs to be nerfed, because they do not want to have to nerf their own decks.

These things are all still happening, and they have been for years.

Because, well, they are the moderators, they have the authority and some of them have been here for up to 7 years, who is going to monitor them ?

After all, moderators are the law, they can do no wrong, right ?

Moderator incompetence and toxicity.

See, the team isn't just biased, they are also frankly incompetent at handling their own game in a facepalm-inducing manner.

For instance, remember how the main entertaining thing about this game was the strategy aspect of how to select your cards, artifacts and soul in order to get the best possible deck you can create and use it to make progress ?

Well, the game also has a spectating function. Which isn't a bad idea at all in itself. But it does have some major issues, like deck copying.

It is extremely easy for anyone to spectate the games of a very high rated player, and simply note down all the cards they play until you have their whole deck figured out. After this, you can easily copy it, and just play with this stronger person's deck and rank up that way, skipping what is quite literally the main interest of Undercards.

Not only does this ruin a large portion of the point of the game for the person that does it, but the more people do it, the more everyone everywhere starts running around using copies of the same few decks and making the game incredibly blend for everyone else overall as the thousands of possible way to make interesting decks slowly get reduced to no more than a dozen considered "viable" possible decks as you climb up the ranks.

...So what did the Undercards team do about this ?

...They created a hub menu where you can publish and downloads decks.

Yes, this is completely counter-productive.

Yes, this means that anyone can publish any deck for any player to find and use, they don't even need to copy the deck, it does that for them automatically.

Yes, this means that someone else can spectate your games, note down your deck, and publish it online for everyone to see, copy, or specifically prepare counters for. And they do.

Not only has the team not fixed those issues, but they have added features to make things more convenient for the perpetrators. They are actively encouraging people to be copycats and anti-fairplay, severely damaging their game's main strength on the way.

Oh, talking about stalking people and anti-fairplay...

The spectate feature has another massive problem : Sniping.

See, a game in Undercards lasts around 5 minutes & involves just two players, and there is rarely more than a couple dozen games going on at the same time. The game also has a very large matchmaking pool, meaning that you can pretty easily be paired against somebody considerably higher rated than yourself.

What this all means is that, by spectating somebody and then entering the playing queue right after this person's game ends, it is very easy to purposely stalk somebody in order to have a match against this particular person.

So, not only can someone stalk you and post your decks and/or strategies online, but anyone even much lower rated than you can look at it, build a counter deck that exists specifically to crush your particular deck, and then stalk you to repeatedly beat you and leech off your rank points.

And there is absolutely nothing that you can do about this.

The only solution is to log off and come back online when the sniper won't be present, or stalk the person back yourself to make sure you only launch games when you know they are already playing and can't be waiting for you, which is quite tiring.

Okay, well what did the team so about that one, then ? Surely even they wouldn't like the idea of being sniped, right ?

Heh... Well, its a bit trickier.

Officially, the practice is not allowed and a couple of them are actually against it. But in practice, most of them actually do not care, for the simple reason that part of them are guilty of doing such things themselves, and simply only take action when someones tries to do it back against them.

In fact, while i actually do not actually have proof for that one, i do also suspect that at least part of the moderators who have several accounts decide on which account they're going to play at a given time by checking which other players are online right now, and picking a deck/account accordingly for easier wins.

Their crappy behavior does not stop at only in-game things, though.

For instance, one person brought up to me that members of the staff have called his religion "garbage". Which needless to say, is extremely inappropriate and disrespectful.

Beyond being scummy, the team also just doesn't know how to handle their player base in general. For example, not so long ago, they shot themselves in the foot by creating two new ranks despite the fact that their player base was already too low to fill up the many ranks they already had. This means stretching up the rank differences between the players, which makes rank gain/loss disproportionate compared to one's actual current level and renders progression even more frustrating for medium level players, as well as generalising higher differences between players for matchmaking, which thus makes all the previously mentioned problems like sniping even worse. (All of that just to make things feel a bit more comfortable for those at the very top like the mods, who won't have to match with lower rated players as much.)

There could still be a couple more things for me to say, but i think the picture is already fairly clear. The team is purposely throwing the quality of their own game under the bus for little more reason than to stroke their ego by seeing their own names at the top of their leaderboards and overall just don't make very good decisions for their game even outside of all that.

Okay, but that was a whole lot of speaking, now how about i give an actual direct example of what the situation is currently like ?

Consider the existence of a user named "Sktima".

Skitma plays the game every day, but practically only ever uses the public chat to either :

Trash talk his opponents either during a game or after a loss.

Complain about the game's RNG, calling it "rigged" or "scripted".

Condescendingly mock and talk down on players rated below 2200 ELO (that is, over 98% of players) for being bad at the game.

If ever called out on this behavior, Sktima will infantilise the whistleblower, calling them a "whining little kid" or similar term before painting them as the bad guy instead, and attempting to bully them into leaving the chat. (and holding grudges against them later on, too.)

All the while, of course, being arrogantly mocking and acting like he considers himself as superior to others.

The question is : How long do you think it took for this player to be banned ?

I encourage you to think about this for a second, before continuing to read.

...

...Okay, have you made your guess yet ?

Well, it was a trick question..

Sktima was never banned at all, for the very simple reason that Sktima is a part of the moderation team.

He even has a YT, too. And it kinda speaks for itself, honestly.

For those interested, here are a couple extracts from a conversation he had in the comments with somebody pointing out that with the size of that community, issues like sniping or hand peeking (another big problem i didn't bring up caused by another bad feature that allows you to directly see the opponent's hand with another tab via the in-game friend option) were bound to happen with the way the mod team handled some features.

Be warned, a good amount of rudeness as well as lying & manipulating to try and turn the situation backwards...

Im not going to analyse or detail more any of that nor point out some of the blatant irony in this conversation, but what i will bring up is that throughout all this, they've made their stance rather clear :

None of this is the fault of the moderator team, they consider that only the player base itself is to blame for the current state of the game, not them.

The underground status.

The thing is, a lot of players aren't oblivious to this, but won't speak a word when staff is present.

In just a couple weeks for instance, at least three separate users have admitted in the chats they thought Sktima was insufferable, including one which claimed he was "the most toxic person on the site." But all this was only at low activity times when the team members were offline.

This was even more obvious on discord, where the only results you could find when searching for "Undercards" in the history of other Undertale/Deltarune related discord servers were people complaining about how toxic the Undercards staff was.

People frequently complain about a lot of the previously mentioned gameplay issues like sniping, but it seems nobody dares to speak up about the actual responsibles, likely due to their position of power and because they consider it as a fait accompli.

Undercards is a great game with has the potential to be very fun, but it and its community are practically being held hostage by the game's staff, and yet it seems the community has just given up on itself and mostly accepted this unfair status quo. This kind of thing shouldn't be allowed to continue.

#undertale #deltarune #meta #undercards

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madamefluffnstuff · 1 month

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TES Summerfest 2024, Day 1: Forbidden

Day 1 of TES Summerfest 2024! Hosted by @tes-summer-fest.

Fandom: Elder Scrolls Online Pairing: None Rating: E on the teetering edge of T Warning(s): Assassins, Thoughts of Assassinating someone (doesn't actually happen though, she's just tempted), Mentions of assault/physical violence (a nobleperson slaps a commoner for "slighting" them). Words: 624 AN: Fam I had the actual hardest time thinking of a unwilling subject for this one and finally decided on Naryu. She deserves more love <3

Naryu struggles with staying her blade from someone who really, truly deserves it. However, they don't have a Morag Tong Writ. They're untouchable.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Naryu's grip tightened on the blade still attached to her hip, knuckles paling as her fingers worked into the hilt. A shaky breath left her nose, anger boiling up in her belly. The shouting from the market street below was more muffled now but still somewhat audible.

She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. As she bit the inside of her cheek, the scene replayed in her head:

Varon had sent her on a basic mission with a new recruit. He was a tiny scrap of a Dunmer, appearing to be just barely into his sixteenth winter. As they were creeping along the rooftops and balconies, the recruit spotted something and tapped her shoulder. A nobleperson, clearly not of this little town, was walking around like they owned the place. It irked her, but Naryu ignored it. It wasn't the first arrogant arse of a noble she had to deal with. Plus, she had a contract to fulfill.

Until a local baker made the mistake of stepping out from behind her stall and bumped into them. She apologized profusely, whereas the Noble screamed in her face asking how dare she get their new robes dirty? The baker attempted to defend herself but was promptly cut off when the Noble drew their hand to the side and struck it across her face. The poor Dunmer baker woman crumpled to the ground. In mere moments the entire market street area was in an outrage, coming to the defense of the beloved community member.

"Naryu?" the new recruit whispered to her. Naryu's eyes opened. His own eyes were wide with worry. He nodded toward her hand, still wrapped around her sheathed blade. It had begun to slowly make its way out of the hilt, the metal glinting in the high sun.

"Naryu, wait-" he hissed, grabbing her wrist. She blinked. What had gotten into her just now? She never let her emotions get a hold of her like that, what-

"We can't! They don't have a Writ on them! They're forbidden!" The recruit's voice was becoming more panicked.

"I..." Naryu was quiet a moment. Then her blade fully returned to its sheath. "I know."

He leaned back and blinked a few times. "Are you alright? What happened?"

The more experienced assassin sighed. "It won't happen again, novice. But... thank you for that." That near slip-up was so unlike her, and it bothered her a little.

She continued, "Nobles like that just get under my skin. Abusing their station and power like that. Quite frankly I'm not sure this one is even legitimate nobility."

"Does that happen often? Faking their status, I mean."

"Oh, all the time. But this one doesn't bear the mark of any of the Five Houses. And they're too pompous... The Houses are rather stuffy and full of themselves already. However, that was out of character for any of them."

The recruit nodded as he took her words into consideration. "I don't like it much, either. And believe me, I want to teach them a lesson, after seeing that little display. But there's no Writ. We can't touch them." He almost sounded disappointed.

Naryu smiled. If he kept that attitude, this newbie would make for a good assassin one day.

"Chin up, recruit," she patted his shoulder. "Perhaps one day."

She stood up and offered a hand to help him up, which he gratefully accepted. As the Morag Tong members continued to slink their way across the rooftops, the commotion in the market grew more and more quiet. Naryu never got the noble's name, but that "untouchable" status wouldn't stay that way for long. All she needed was a quick disguise and a few subtle words to the right people. And a little patience.

#tes summerfest 2024 #tesfest24 #elder scrolls online #the elder scrolls #eso #naryu #naryu virian #morag tong #assassins #tw assassins #tw physical violence

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lover-of-skellies · 1 year

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How smoochable is Stretch? It's for science I swear

Stretch gets a very safe rating of 11. He’s chill and tends to think things through before acting, so there’s a very low chance of him ever doing anything on impulse and accidentally hurting someone. Lord knows he’d never hurt anyone intentionally

1) How dangerous is his mouth? I’d say his mouth is pretty safe and not dangerous at all, due to him having flat teeth rather than anything sharp or jagged. 2 points for mouth safety

2) Would Stretch bite? For the life of me, I just cannot see him ever biting anyone. He seems way too laidback and docile to do something like that, to me. Is he aggressive? Really only if the situation calls for it, I think. He loafs around most of the time, teleporting here and there, and we can probably assume (since he’s Papyrus with classic Sans’ personality) that he actually does more behind the scenes than we get to see ourselves. The only time he’d really be aggressive with anyone would be during a genocide route, I think, assuming it follows the same general structure as it does in classic Undertale. Since I can’t imagine him being aggressive outside of those very specific circumstances, I’d say he gets another 2 points for being chill and not being a biter

3) Are there any health hazards to the smoocher? Frankly… no, there don’t appear to be. He doesn’t regularly carry a weapon around that the smoocher could accidentally get hurt by, he’s not leaking any gross fluids or anything, and aside from basic hygiene (as we don’t know how well he takes care of himself) being questionable and there being a potential stink, the only thing that may happen is the smoocher tasting cigarettes and honey when kissing him. Yes, he is very skilled with magic and has a lot of it at his disposal, but because he’s so skilled, it’s not likely that he’d somehow manage to lose control of it or anything. That being said, I’m giving 2 more points for him not being a hazard

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? Again, assuming his backstory is basically the same as Sans Classic’s (raising his brother, potentially working multiple odd jobs to financially support both of them, having the burden of being the only one who knows about resets, and having the responsibility of being the last one standing to guard judgement hall and keep the player from reaching Toriel), then yeah, I could see it being somewhat sympathetic. He’d definitely be going through a lot and could be somewhat stressed out with all those responsibilities adding up over time, but with Sans Classic’s personality, he probably copes with that at least decently well. Due to everything he’s likely experienced, I could see him also coping with having depression and anxiety, and whatever other issues he may have from the repeated resets. Headcanons and things aside, we don’t know much about his mental and emotional state, except that he’s a bit apathetic and sluggish (hints at depression, maybe, but I’m not sure what else could be going on in his head, and I’m not a psychologist, so-). Following the same general idea as in Undertale, Stretch also would’ve agreed to look after Chara, so he also had that responsibility, too. Since he’s basically Sans Classic in a Papyrus body, I’ll give him 1 point here just like I did with Sans

5) Does he deserve a smooch? With everything he does and deals with regularly, yeah, I’d say he’s pretty deserving. There’s another very easily earned 2 points for him

6) Is he cute or cool? I’m not sure if I’d say he’s a cutesy character, necessarily, but he does have a cool sort of personality. He’s very laidback and level headed, he’s smart as hell, as he’s incredibly strong and proficient with magic, then to top it off, he has a simple design that’s still unique enough to him to make him recognizable. 2 points for his cool personality and his strengths as a character

In total, Stretch gets a rating of 11. He’s a very safe bet to smooch, if you had to kiss a skeleton and preferred Papyrus types over Sanses. He won’t do anything that could hurt you, and there’s nothing about him that could result in you being ill or dying. At worst, he’d calmly ask you not to smooch him again, and at best, he’s get flustered and blushy, and need a minute to collect himself so he can find his words and speak again

#creatorsomething #asks #smoochability rating #stretch papyrus #swap papyrus

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doubledyke · 11 months

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One thing I dislike in season 5 is how the characters are often dumbed down just to fit, for the plot sake. The kids, in particular, seem to reach a point where Eddy can literally come up with any lie or scam (the forever-summer scam, the mole mutants, the booster shot day, the egghead Ed, a new kid Carl) and the kids will immediately buy completely without a question (even Kevin of all people). In earlier seasons, as gullible as the kids could be, they still kept a skepticism degree and were quicker to recognize something as a poorly manufactured scam (at least some of them).

So, of course, all the characters sound so out-of-character in season 5 (except maybe the Kankers)...

yeah i agree to some extent. i'm always hesitant to criticize s5 cuz like, who tf am i? i don't know much about the behind the scenes, etc., etc.. but i agree that it is very different in a lot of ways that stand out. if you view the differences in characterization as intentional, it's kind of interesting.

eddy is absolutely off the rails and is at his most volatile in s5. even his laugh is more villainous lmao. i liked kevin lordi's comment that he seems depressed as hell later on in the series. makes sense to me, i mean we see how he struggles in school, and how he gets treated there. you can't just leave when things get bad, either. i gotta say, i feel like they ramped up the eddy torture p*rn in s5. i might be biased though.

edd is also utterly unhinged. viewing the gradual changes in him as intentional (aka me over analyzing), i see that he's reached PEAK neuroticism. the guy is about to snap and eventually does in bps. frankly, i find him unbearable but it's all character growth in my mind. school is a source of stress for him as well, but for different reasons. also, he and eddy are a lot nastier to each other in this season.

with ed, i'm not really sure what angle to come at it from. if i stick by what i said before, then his over the top oafishness is likely a result of hardcore dissociating. maybe he ALSO really hates school and so his brain just shuts down. literally. you could also theorize that he took one too many bumps on the head (just kidding).

realistically though i think he's the easiest source of comedic relief for what is, after all, a kids' show. perhaps it became a bit of a crutch while they created some really great character driven episodes.

like fistful of ed, too smart for his own ed, cleanliness is next to edness, and, pick an ed. lots of edd focused episodes in s5.

to your specific point, i guess i see what you mean. but i've always wondered why the kids would fall for anything eddy does after like s2 lmao. s5 isn't the first time we learn that the cul-de-sac kids aren't very bright. they do all have moments of skepticism, and yes, especially kevin. in see no ed, he's shown to be borderline paranoid about the eds which is goddamn hilarious to me. but most of the time they'll all be skeptical at first, yet still end up taking the bait and acting shocked.

(by the way: kevin deserved sooooo much worse than what happened in this won't hurt an ed - which was ultimately nothing. eddy ended up being the one getting hurt at the end of the episode.

kevin is ruthless and flat out cruel to eddy. he's the definition of a bully. he's shown to be pretty normal toward everyone else in the neighborhood, including ed and edd when they interact one on one. with eddy, he has this abnormal and unhealthy hatred for the kid. it's really funny.)

in pick an ed, edd says its obvious that 'carl' is just eddy in disguise. eddy looks worried until ed falls for it. to me that implies that eddy thinks the kids are dumb as a bag of hammers. and he was right!

my thing with eddy is, don't hate the player, hate the game. it's hard for me to feel bad for someone who gets "scammed" or pranked over and over. if kevin wanted to, he could be the hero of the cul-de-sac and put an end to the scams by simply sharing his over-abundance of jawbreakers with the eds. but he's a dick, so he doesn't. the kids are also to blame not just for being such easy marks, but for never leaving jawbreakers for the eds when kevin shares with them. eddy's biggest mistake was waiting around long enough after getting paid for them to catch on.

summary: i used to also view s5 as a "dip in quality" until i saw a post where someone argued that the changes could and should be viewed as character growth/development over flanderization. both things can be true! and there are plenty of REALLY good, fun episodes and moments in the season.

#this derailed but i did eventually address your point #also eddy is so tiny in s5 which is very amusing to me #you really could trip over him like ed said #and just to be clear i actually like kevin i think he's hilarious #text

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biohazard-4ever · 4 months

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"shouldn't take it seriously" this

but then we're just fans here right? why do some among us like to act like they hold their opinion in the highest and most ultimate regard aka the only truth? I've seen this happen with obsessive shipping and that frankly takes out all the fun when it's actually taken serious to the utmost degree D:

Yes. It is a little... Cringe-y (do kids still use this word? lol).

But also, sometimes people need self-affirmation. Needs to have their likes and dislikes validated by others. Need to hear from others: "OH MY! IT IS TRUE!" Because that makes them feel like they are into something.

But the truth is, everything we do right now, it is us giving Capcom way more credits than they actually deserve.

But I am completely fine with people overanalyzing stuff when, like, they are not shoving it down people's throat or USE THAT as a CANON INFORMATION or worse -, use it to bring to a conversation where exclusive canon events are being discussed.

Were Leon and Claire awkwardly flirting in the fence scene in RE2R? I dunno. The director said the emotion he wanted in the scene was the one as if you found that person you have a crush on in an unexpected place and you awkwardly flirt with them.

But again, that was the EMOTION he wanted the scene to exhale. Does it mean for real Leon and Claire were flirting? Honestly, I dunno. And again, even if they were, does not necessarily it means it was with romantic intentions. And even if it WAS WITH ROMANTIC INTENTIONS.

Leon and Claire, canonically, are still not together, right?

No. They are not.

I'm not a Ada fan but, I think people really need to listen to her when she says:

"Don't think too hard, handsome."

Just go with the flow and enjoy it. Don't give yourself too much credit. Don't think of yourself as someone who knows as much - maybe even more, than Capcom and the Developers of the game and story.

You are just a fan behind the TV screen pressing buttons and being fed what Capcom serves you. You pay to play those games like everyone else. Your opinion is not being taken into consideration when Capcom is developing the games. They didn't e-mailed you their storyboard to know your feelings and opinions about it...

You.Are.Nobody.

AND THAT IS FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just.Enjoy.The.Ride.

#Ask #question #answer #answered

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emmathorne · 2 years

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Just a vent abt a bully

Hello, I’m going to complain!

My better judgement says sit on this quietly and smile the grumpiness away, but frankly I always feel better getting my fed up thoughts written out, and Tumblr is the quiet place we vent to, so here we are.

Anyone who cares enough to pay attention will know who I’m talking about, but for those who don’t (and for the sake of this being pure venting, not some kind of beef starting or mob building), I’m going to refer to the gentleman involved as “John” in lieu of his real name. If you don't know, it doesn't really matter because he is not the only person like this out there, and you may be able to relate.

This week, John, a big figure in the sceptic community, who commands a lot of respect and has a large following gathered over many years, was, in my opinion, quite rude to a friend of mine. He was rude, dismissive and pretty condescending, and this took place publicly. Said friend is also a creator- smaller than I am and much smaller (as we both are) than John. My friend reached out to John for clarification on something, and was overly polite with pleases and thank you’s and consideration. Whether they were just in a super nice mood or they chose to be careful because John has a reputation for getting angry over minor things, I don’t know. All I can say is they were very polite.

John is like a bear, we admire him and adore him for his incredible skill and power, and when he swipes one of us with his claws we all laugh or apologise and bow down to him because that’s “just how bears are”. What I've learnt is to accept that's how bears are, and that I feel happier and safer staying out of swiping distance, because I don't deserve to get clawed.

John was curt and rude and all the things I mention, and my friend clapped back (something I have always felt is perfectly reasonable. Someone is stinky to you, you shouldn’t be expected to be super kind in return). At this, John flew off the handle, called them several names and blocked them.

A lot of people saw this and had the same reaction I did: ‘wtf did I miss’, because it seemed quite an absurd overreaction. I added onto the conversation, because that’s my friend and I go into defensive mode when I see a bud treated unfairly. I make no apologies for this.

I too was overly polite (something I almost regret in hindsight because of John’s attitude throughout) when I suggested that this was a little over the top, that he was surely fair to be irritated at my friend’s sarcastic comment (again, as a retort to John’s attitude I think it’s fine, but it makes sense for John to be annoyed by it), that twitter often gets the worst of us, and an apology would surely be accepted. I also remarked that if he felt a comment was a waste of his time, it would probably be better to ignore it than fly off the handle.

I admit I’m often out of the loop on mainstream sceptic activists and creators, partly because my content is quite varied outside of that, so I didn’t realise how naive it was to think that polite compassion and understanding would reach John and that would be that. After the fact, I’ve been told by lots of folks: audience; creators and behind the scenes community members alike, that John has been this aggressive and reactive for a number of years now. If I’d known that, I perhaps would have just marked him down as someone I wasn’t interested in talking to and quietly removed him from my various feeds. Alas.

He responded to me in the thread, essentially telling me to go away, take my own advice and ignore him, he didn’t ask for a lecture. Surely yes, nobody asked for a lecture- but someone was stinky to my friend and that’s not the sort of thing I want to ignore. It didn’t completely make sense, it was very ‘heck off i can do what i want’, and I was pretty surprised.

I started to wonder if there was some context I was missing, that maybe something had happened between John and my friend before that made John particularly sensitive to their questions. A while ago, John added me on another social media app. So I reached out to John privately.

You fool. I know.

I sent John a message essentially (politely, I must add) asking if there was some context I didn’t know about, why he had behaved in such a bullying manner, and hoping that we could come to some more compassionate understanding.

His response was more or less: Wow!!! You’re going to say I DID A WRONG THING? Prove it!

The entire discussion went like that. It was cyclical and frustrating. There is a type of person (and I’ll say I’ve only experienced this from men, not that it’s a rule, but John fits a certain “type” of older, righteous white man that I find most frequently guilty of this tactic) that turns every conversation, especially if they are criticised, into a debate. Even a private chat about behaviour and feelings, in this case, became an intellectual debate.

I have experienced this many times, and I find it to be a method pseudo-intellectuals use to belittle and ‘win’ against people that aren’t able to articulate as well as they are. Every infraction was a point that had to be proven with evidence, and if he could counter it with his debate tactics, it meant he had ‘won’ and couldn’t have done anything wrong, ever.

This was a conversation about how he had been rude to someone on twitter. I explained what was rude, that I was not the only person who considered it rude, and his only retort was to continuously demand proof. John is an excellent debater. I am not, I don't debate, and while I know that there is some value to certain kinds of debate, I often question their value. Being good at debating and being right are entirely separate things, and so I don’t generally allow myself to be bullied by this tactic. I had told him what was rude, and that was that.

He demanded to know exactly who and where others had called this behaviour out, and I allowed a cheeky retort of my own! Of course in hindsight this is exactly what he needed to satisfy his status as the victim of my evil, deceptive tactics (all in the name of trying to understand why he was mean to my friend. What a sinister agenda I had!). I replied that I could easily ask him to ‘research’ for himself instead of ‘wasting my time’- because this was the complaint he directed at my friend who had asked him for clarification. It was a direct parallel of something he had said, with the intention of pointing out how absurd that was. I added that if he genuinely needed me to screenshot people calling out his behaviour, I would do so.

We went on for a bit in circles with this proof demanding, accusing me of dishonesty (I asked him outright what was dishonest about anything I said, and I still don’t fully understand. I believe it’s the fact that he kept hounding me for ‘proof’ that his behaviour was rude, which is a pretty weird stretch), and ‘name calling’. (The name calling is because I said his behaviour was bullying. I also later called him childish, which I hope you can understand given what i’ve explained so far. I maintain that to be true).

He continued getting angry and being aggressive about proof, including about me not being the only one to think he was out of order. I reminded him I'd offered him screenshots, and he basically said that I was clearly being sarcastic. I told him I wasn’t, that he’d assumed that out of nowhere- he was angry about that too. I had literally said “if you genuinely need me to-”. I included the word ‘genuinely’ and he still made it my fault that he thought I was being sarcastic. Except because John can’t be wrong, I had been sarcastic, and I guess just hadn’t realised it or was lying about it? Perhaps that’s where the ‘dishonesty’ thing came from. Who knows.

I shared some screenshots of people agreeing this was rude, which is pretty ridiculous I know. It’s bebo era schoolyard stuff. If he hadn’t demanded proof that he was rude and I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought so, I would never have thought to, but it seemed to be necessary. Of course, I was wrong about that too. It was only the case if they had MESSAGED him. That was all that counted. Of course he knew that I wasn’t going to be screenshotting his own inbox, so why he only told me this after the fact remains to be seen. He had demanded who and where, and then told me the who and where I presented didn’t count.

John was like this throughout. Incapable of being wrong in even the tiniest way, but treating me like I was a stupid, dishonest kid who was mistaken and crazy about every single thing I said. Even when it contradicted something he’d said earlier, it turned out I was wrong about that. I should have known psychically that tweets don’t count as people calling him out, that I was definitely being rude and sarcastic when I explained I was being genuine. I was wrong about every single thing.

Along the way, one of John’s gripes was that my friend, after the conclusion of the tweet thread, had joked about this being great publicity. I think it’s a funny way to try and make light of someone with a huge fan base being an ass to you. John decided that this meant my friend was only “in it” (conversation with him? Content creation in general? Unclear) for the publicity and he hates people like that. In my opinion, that’s a ridiculous stretch. To take someone’s jokey ‘getting a positive out of an awkward situation’ and make it into their entire driving force in all they do is absurd, and any reasonable person would see that. John is not reasonable.

In case you are one of the folks who, like John, thinks that joking about someone being mean being great publicity is actually terrible (as I saw some of his fans agreeing, in that slightly tragic bootlicking way where they agree with everything he says whether it makes sense or not), I’d like to remind you that everyone was fine with me making the same joke out of Kent Hovind giving me publicity. The only reason it’s suddenly bad when it happens as a result of John being an ass, is because they want to have some reason to vindicate him.

John used the publicity joke my friend made as an excuse as to why he didn’t need to apologise for anything. I considered that fallacious, not just because of the above where he’s viewing something silly in absolutely the most uncharitable way possible, but because that came after the fact anyway and had nothing to do with John’s initial rudeness. The idea that you can’t be cheeky or joke about someone who has already been a complete ass to you is tone policing, at least in my opinion. At the very least it doesn't change anything to do with John’s part in being rude as hell in the first place.

In our private conversation, I attempted to empathise with John- this was also wrong and got me chastised. Something I’ve seen him and his followers explain is that he gets tired of answering the same questions time and again- understandable after so many years of doing the exact same thing. I experience this too, and gosh I’m really grateful to have a varied range of content I engage in, even if it makes me a bit more niche. If I spent 20 years getting angry in debates over the same things, I'd probably go crazy too.

Anyway I attempted to empathise with John on this, telling him I understood how frustrating that could be and so on (again, I have experienced this myself, so I felt it was reasonable to empathise). Because it was a debate and he had to ‘win’ against everything I said, this was also terrible of me for ‘pretending to understand him’ or something, even though he also said that yes it was true. I guess his claim was that it wasn’t relevant to this, which doesn’t make sense and frankly I don’t believe. It doesn’t really matter, I could have said the sky was blue and I’d have gotten a lecture on how wrong I was.

I had mentioned creator size to John, because he was someone with a huge following publicly dissing someone with a relatively very small following. Something that I’ve adopted from a lot of the most conscientious creators I watch is the idea of not ‘punching down’. In general I do not think it’s responsible to do things that might mobilise a large audience to target someone at a much smaller level who doesn’t have the resources or experience to cope with a high level of abuse. The ‘punching down’ discussion has nuances that I’m not going to waste time on here, and it’s something people certainly disagree on, but my personal belief is that you should adopt a level of care when talking negatively about a much smaller creator. John disagreed with this. He called my consideration of creator size a "fallacy". I don’t know if that’s even vaguely correct, but I am not the intellectual that John is, so who knows. I think it’s relevant. He doesn’t.

This led to an awkward part of the conversation that I feel uncomfortable recalling even now. He subsequently asked me if I was a smaller creator. I told him that compared to him, yes certainly, but larger than my friend. He said that in that case, he would leave it there. While I am grateful he took my feelings on audience size into consideration despite disagreeing with it, I find the subtext really uncomfortable. The suggestion is that, if I hadn’t been a smaller creator, he would not have left “it” there. What is it? Putting me on public blast? I didn’t ask. Maybe it was an overreaction, but I found that a little threatening, so I ignored it and moved on. I don’t want to know what he might have said or done if I had identified as a large creator or someone at his level. Forever grateful to be niche, hah.

I was really ready to end this confrontation now, because it was more than clear that John was never going to accept being wrong about anything, that he was going to be as rude as he damn well wanted and if he was called out on it, he’d deny it righteously till he was blue in the face, and I either gave up, or admitted being a terrible person with a nefarious agenda.

I got through a last tirade about me being dishonest and fallacious and so on, all the same things I've mentioned. He concluded with a very brief nice comment about some of the content he’s seen from me. So I responded that it was interesting, because I thought some of his arguments were fallacious too. I said there were things we’d clearly never agree on, but I wished him the best with his work and hoped he continued to do good activism. I had a glimmer of hope that we were actually going to end on neutral, polite terms.

His response was to go back to demanding proof, in the same rude and combative way he had been all along. Eye roll.

At this point, I was 100% done and it is hopefully clear to anyone reading that I could not have done or said anything that would ever change his mind, so I said goodbye and blocked him. End of. Or not?

Cue a very “2010’s internet drama” maturity level post from John about an unnamed ‘dishonest, name-calling whiner’, aka me. I assume the ‘name-calling’ + ‘whiner’ thing was intended as irony? Or perhaps he’s just that lacking in self awareness. Either way, it’s a deeply frustrating and upsetting thing to read from someone you know is so respected in the community, who people idolise. I was sitting there wondering how many of my own followers were liking and retweeting that statement without knowing it was about me, and certainly not knowing how utterly ridiculous the entire interaction was. All of this because John was rude, and unable to acknowledge it. He’s got a critical debate-bro condition.

Despite his anger at this suggestion from me, I really think that John must have some serious sensitivity around being challenged, criticised or asked questions about his words. Many people that live in this angry, debate-centred world for so long do develop ptsd-like reactions, or genuine anger problems. I’m not in a position to diagnose anyone, these are just some of the thoughts I have trying to rationalise and understand John’s behaviour towards me, my friend and anyone who has dared criticise him or even ask him a question on the wrong day.

I heard in hindsight from many people who had been talked down to, belittled, blocked etc for minor things, and even similar cases of John going off the rails at something minor involving people far kinder and more intelligent than me- so at least I don’t feel this is a totally personal slight. I am bugged about it, clearly, but I feel fairly comfortable that I did the best I could to resolve things rationally and compassionately, and that the issues at the heart of this nonsense are problems with John and not me, nor my friend, nor any of the other people who have experienced this. John is a very "no, it's the kids who are wrong" type.

If I had to be in the room with John for a function or to engage with other people, I’d do so and be perfectly polite. But I do not want to work with him. I certainly do not want to speak with him. Right now I prefer not to see him on my timeline- I've hidden one channel that I like because seeing his face on my YouTube screen was making me uncomfortable (that I’m sure will pass quickly though, I just like to give myself comfort wherever I can, especially with what I do bringing confrontation and hate to my attention more than I’d like).

As much as this has sucked a fat one, I don’t regret anything. My friends come first, and I will always stick up for them. Maybe this loses me access to some of the ‘big names’ in our community. I hope not, but I consider it worth it either way. The ‘angry atheist douchebag’ phase is something that I think a lot of us go through, especially when young or deconverting, after some religious or family trauma etc. It can be a very natural part of the process. Should that be the face of the sceptic community? Hell no. We’re very fortunate to have a lot of smaller, developing channels with more diverse voices and a kinder attitude, alongside the playful snark and ribbing that we love. I’m curious as to how someone attains that kind of idolisation, where their fans can call him their favourite, despite having only had negative interactions with him (real comments I have read in response to this).

People can be kind of assholes and still do great work. Often, I think people like John miss out on important topics and ideas (I’ve certainly seen him do this on shows) because of their quick reactions and jumps to negativity and their swift putting down of anyone who might have a slightly different opinion that him, even if they didn’t know that before they, say, called him on a show. I do genuinely hope that he continues to do good work, and I respect what he’s built. I understand that people love watching him ‘throw down’ and that can often be satisfying. I enjoy seeing people who deserve it get a swift talking to. I don’t enjoy seeing people who are trying to learn, improve themselves or bring a different perspective being treated with equal meanness. I disagree with his methods and attitude, and I personally am not interested in watching him. I can’t imagine watching him on a show after the way he’s spoken to and about me, all because I dared to question his rudeness.

So that’s it. I’m a little hurt and quite frustrated, but I feel I’m frankly in good company with people who have faced the wrath of John. I’m trying not to feel too stupid in the wake of being belittled over all the ‘fallacies’ and general debate bro bollocks that were thrown at me. Emotional intelligence is also a real thing, and not everyone has it. Mine isn’t perfect, but it’s certainly better than John’s and I am grateful for that. I’d rather be willing to make mistakes and learn and treat people with compassion than be able to ‘win’ every argument. I’m also glad not to be the sort of person that gets outraged over minor things every day, continually alienating people in the process.

Long live the silly lil guys.

Thanks for listening to my vent. I feel better already.

#vent #cw vent #personal vent #personal thoughts #just rambling #sceptic community #atheist community

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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 2 years

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Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (197):

Tonight I watched The Evil Dead for the first time. Frankly I can't believe that I've had the audacity to call myself a horror fan for the last 25 years despite having never watched The Evil Dead before because until you have seen this masterpiece of blood, guts and psychological demonic terror you have not experienced true terror. I'll admit that in the first half hour the dialogue seemed so standard, the characters so clichéd and the story so underwhelming that I was expecting this to be a huge disappointment. However the second the kids read from the dreaded Necromonicon that all changes and the most creatively disgusting movie ever made goes full speed. This is the first movie I've seen for a while that made me want to sleep with the lights on. The shot of the possessed Cheryl sitting in the doorway giggling is one of the most unsettling things I've ever seen in a film. The rest of the film is full of moments like this which put you on edge and want the film to be over. The one moment that really gave me a shock in the movie (That I hadn't seen included on any retrospectives or list shows and thus didn't know it was coming) was the scene where we get a wide shot of Ash moving the chest of drawers in front of the door, then the action freezes and re-animated Scotty sits up. Even though it's obviously a paused frame that someone has sat up in front of, that still didn't lessen the impact of the scare which I think is the height of a great horror film that it can scare you despite being an underwhelming effect. If I'd have been watching in a cinema at the time this film was released I'd have shat myself (or pretended I was bored so that I'd have a reason to leave and not have to confess to my mates that I was scared). The characters aren't that well developed (I know Ash becomes the star of the series and his personality becomes much more fleshed out in the next installment) but weirdly I don't think that matters in this case. Normally in a horror movie the film-makers take time to let the audience get to know the characters so that they will be shocked when something bad happens to them. However in the case of Evil Dead I don't know if you need to feel like you know these characters because anyone with any sense of compassion would feel sorry for anyone getting possessed and subsequently chainsawed to bits. The only annoying character in the film who is a bit of a twat is Scotty but even he doesn't deserve what happens to him. So while it would be nice if this film was twenty minutes or half an hour longer so these characters could develop some personality I don't think it would have made much of a difference. They were there in order to be killed in such a way that would scare the shit out of the viewers and they more than served their purpose. The one major piece of character development that I think help him become one of horror cinema's icons is the scene where he can't bring himself to hack up Linda's body after he sees the necklace he gave her. The fact that the film took the time to show that this guy isn't just a name to be checked off a list but an actual character with heart, emotion and compassion is what got the audience to cheer him onto survive. Even if the characters don't get much of a chance to develop personalities their performances during scenes where they have to show terror are all phenomenal. Apparently the living conditions and the shooting of this film in general was like a real life nightmare. The cabin was a shithole, most of the actors were injured on set and the shoot took place during an especially cold winter so you can certainly see why it wouldn't be difficult for these actors to convey real life fear into their performances. The behind the scenes documentary of the making of this movie I feel would be just as interesting and possibly as scary as the actual movie. I know that the Deadites aren't "zombies" per say but this was the first time in a movie I saw a zombie-like character portrayed as a demonic entity rather than as a mindless reanimated corpse looking for blood. These things are articulate and poetic in their desires to consume the souls of their victims and they are even shown to have something of a black sense of humour. The fact that these creatures have a reason for killing and even appear to get a kick out of it makes them unlike any other supernatural horror movie antagonist. The cabin is almost like a cast member in and of itself. I love the fact that they used an actual cabin to film in as this adds to the sense of claustrophobia. It seems like this should be the easiest place to escape from but one by one the kids all end up meeting a gruesome fate. Sadly the cabin doesn't exist anymore which is a real shame. Horror movie fans the world over would flock to see this place if it was still around. I'm surprised they didn't stick it on the back of a truck and movie it to Universal Studios instead of letting it waste away. Or they could have stuck it next to Graceland so that if you were an Elvis fan and an Evil Dead fan you could kill two birds with one chainsaw.

The last fifteen minutes is a beautiful collection of surreal trick shots. I especially love when the film projector comes on and Ash drips blood on it and we see the projection of the blood pouring down the screen. Such a cool visual. It's really cool that Raimi thought of creative ways to show the blood that wasn't just having the characters bleed. I also love the shot where the camera goes from the back of his head over it and then to a frontal shot. Also the filming him from above as he walks down the hallway and every time the camera pans goes over a plank of wood it makes a swoosh kind of noise. There's some amazing shots dotted around the first two thirds of the movie too. I love the handheld shots following the kids because it makes you feel like you're looking at them from the point of view of the Deadites. There's the red tint over the point of view shot to simulate a character's eyes filling with blood and the point of view of Cheryl looking through the hatch to the basement are all great (Even if we see later that the hatch is clearly open enough for her to get out but that's a nitpick). You can tell that Raimi was a student of cinema because I think in the climax to this movie he includes just about every Hitchcock trick shot I've ever seen. This was Raimi's first proper full length movie and naturally he wanted to ensure there would be a second and so I think this last fifteen minutes was to show potential future employees that he understood the magic of film-making and he wasn't just a blood and guts horror guy. I couldn't really find anything I didn't like about the movie (Yeah the first third is a bit boring but I think that's intentional. it's to make the audience subconsciously think that this setting isn't the kind of place where anything out of the ordinary ever happens) so any problems I have are just nitpicks. For some reason Linda doesn't tell anyone that something possessed her and made her draw the Necromonicon. The bit at the start where Scotty goes into the basement and then doesn't respond so Ash goes looking for him. My brain sort of switches off when these scenes are unfolding because they can really only end one of two ways: a reveal that the character has been brutally killed or that the guy has been brutally killed or that he was deliberately hiding and pulling a prank. Whatever ghostly thing is chasing Cheryl sounds like it's saying "aww" when she gets into the house and it retreats which made me chuckle a bit which I'm sure wasn't the intention of the scene. The scene where Cheryl is essentially raped by a tree just comes across as needlessly grotesque (I know that sounds insane given the kind of movie we're talking about but it at least feels like there's a reason for the other gore and blood in the rest of the movie whereas this was just put in for the sake of it and I think Raimi has even admitted regret over the inclusion of this scene). There are multiple times where Ash get's flung into bookcases by Deadites and after a while the Simpsons fan in me started imagining Groundskeeper Willie exclaiming: Man I'm bad at this. Finally as the possessed Cheryl is in the middle of her rampage Scotty merely yells "Cheryl, Stop it!" like a parent telling off it's naughty child. This is after she's just dug a pencil into someone's foot Scotty, I think she's past being told off. Like I say, nitpicks nothing that I could really label bad.

What a terrifying experience this was. Stephen King was one of the people who sang the praises of this movie and said that it effected him not just in ways that horror cinema can but on a deep emotional level, like it had dug into some deep hidden part of his psyche that protected him from anything scary and completely shattered it. I can certainly see what he means as this film well and truly messes with your mind. I was not only impressed with how scary and visually stunning this film was but also the fact that in his first effort at making a film Sam Raimi might have put together the scariest film ever made. Favourite quotes: Ash Williams: "You bastards! Why are you torturing me like this? Why!?"

Tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks which featured Silas putting his plan to destroy the McQueens once and for all into action. It opened with Silas providing the following narration: "When I was a boy I was running through a field and I fell into a hole and I fell into a well" Man the writers of this storyline really did like The Batman didn't they? They've written Silas to be like The Riddler and now they've given him Batman's backstory. Later Silas told Goldie and Theresa who were locked inside his escape room that they had to chose which one of theme would die. If both chose Theresa then Theresa would, if both picked Goldie then Goldie would die but if they both picked the other person then they would both die. Silas has been watching repeats of Golden Balls on Challenge hasn't he? Even though the escape room exploded with Theresa inside she managed to hide in a bomb proof box that was in there for some reason (I'm guessing it's because Silas wanted them to survive for the final game later in the show but then if that was the case what the fuck was the point of building this escape room anyway. After Theresa and Goldie recovered Silas spoke via an automated message on the side of the Escape Room to play after it explode to tell Theresa and Goldie what to do next. I swear the technology in Hollyoaks would put Star Trek to shame. The big climax of the movie was Silas gathering all of the McQueens in the folly where he had erected a giant electrified chessboard and challenged the McQueens to put him in check without stepping on an electrified square. Uh..no. I’m sorry but no. When did Silas find the time to knock together this electrified chess board without being seen? how did he afford to build it? How did he know it would fit perfectly in the Folly? I’m sorry but no. This is Hollyoaks FFS not an X-Men movie! Then to make matters worse Mercedes ended up outfoxing Silas and putting him in check after only a coupd of moves. Seriously?! We get this incredibly silly, suspension of disbelief busting storyline with the electric chess board and then they don't even play a full game? It's over after two moves? Christ, JP, Theresa and Olivia didn't even move! The excuse was that Mercedes watches Bobby play chess occasionally. Yeah because observing your son play a couple of games of chess every now and then is probably enough to get you to the point where you can beat a master of the game who's been playing it his whole life right? This entire episode was incredibly fucking stupid. Explosions, drama and nonsensical bollocks. It was incredibly over the top but that's Hollyoaks and that's why I love it

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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Wheels Up

Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader (Y/N), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway, Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Matt Simmons, Luke Alvez

Summary: JJ goes on maternity leave, Spencer falls in love with her replacement that he's supposed to be mentoring, Emily Prentiss and Elle Greenaway work a case together that brings Simmons and Alvez in for help...

Warnings: Genius!Reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, drinking, star gazing, lots of fluff, mentions of past assault, grooming, drug addiction, spencer's trauma, Abductions, Rape, Murder (typical canon violence)

word count: 9.4K

a/n: this is for @starry-eyed-spence and @simmonsmilf CM fanfiction week, Day One: Favorite Character... only I couldn't pick just one.

To say Spencer fell in love at the least opportune time was a bit of an understatement. Everyone he’s ever come close to admitting his love to has either left him or died. Now he’s stuck with loving someone in secret, keeping it to himself and hoping that one day she’ll love him back.

He fell in love with a co-worker once again… which wasn’t the worst thing, office romances happen and it’s quite frankly all Rossi’s fault that they even had to worry about fraternization policies. The part that makes liking Y/N so difficult is that he’s supposed to be her mentor, he’s 5 years older than her, and if he was to ever make a move she would feel inclined to reciprocate in order to keep her job because that’s the unfortunate truth behind office relationships with significant differences in positions.

And worst of all… she doesn’t like him that way at all. She’s called him the brother she always needed, a best friend, the best mentor ever. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.

“And why would she be?” He’s said this to everyone who knew about his crush on her. “I’m old and boring and she’s so cool?”

But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that every time she asked him to hang back to help her file something, or when they would buddy up in hotel rooms to discuss cases all night and end up down some star trek rabbit hole instead, every time he talked to her she was falling in love with him right back.

It once again all circles back to Rossi, if it wasn’t for him, Spencer wouldn’t even know her. She wouldn’t have ever been introduced to the unit, he wouldn’t be attached to her at the hip and he probably wouldn’t be as happy as he is with her in his life. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend.

He’ll never forget the day Rossi asked him to meet her, to help her settle in…

“Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rossi called him into his office.

He sighed, putting his book down and walking up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind himself and smiled awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Sit,” he gestures to the chairs in front of his desk, where Spencer pulls one out and proceeds to sit down, anxiously. “As you know, both Kate and JJ will be out of the field in the next few months to have their babies and we need to bring someone in to fill the void until they return, so I reached out to the academy to see if they have any up and coming Dr. Reid like agents that they could loan us.”

“Why?” Spencer laughs at the choice of words.

“Well, honestly, why get new 2 agents when we could have two Reid’s? JJ will be back after a month or 2, it’s better to have more brains than brawn.”

“So they found someone and you want me to be their chaperone?” Spencer clues in. “Who are they?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a wonderful agent, but she’s pretty quiet, I don’t know much about her personally.” Rossi prefaces. “She’s a genius, high IQ like yours and just a plethora of knowledge inside that mind of hers. You’ll like her.”

“Alright,” he nods. “When do they start?”

“When JJ’s water breaks, but I’d like you to meet them and maybe even have them shadow you for a day?” Rossi asks, “I’ve actually arranged for you both to get dinner at a friend's restaurant?”

“Is this an arranged date or purely business? Don’t send me in there blind,” he worries. “I need at least a week's prep before I go on a date again.”

“It’s not a date, kid,” Rossi laughs. “She's just a lot like you were when I met you, and I know from watching you all these years that it’s not easy to do it alone, so can you just walk them through it?”

“Of course.”

That first dinner Rossi set up for them was more exquisite than either of them prepared for.

They spent the whole night discussing dissertations and their independent journeys through becoming a genius. He understood perfectly why Rossi and the Academy would think she was a lot like him, she was a genius, but she was awkward. It took a while for her to break out of her shell and open up, but by the end of the night, he already knew they were going to be friends.

“So,” she smirks, “would you mind telling me honestly how hard this job is?”

“Why?”

She sighs, “I’ve heard a lot about Thee Doctor Reid and how you were the youngest hired to the BAU and all the shit you’ve been through.”

“What are the rumours these days?” He awkwardly smiles back, rolling his eyes slightly.

“That you were brain dead in a cemetery from an overdose and yet you’re so smart you came back from the dead to kill the unsub and escape…” she looks more and more disappointed in the rumour as she tells it.

His tongue hits the roof of his mouth as he opens it to speak, making a tsk noise as he shakes his head. “Well, I did OD but it was the unsubs main personality that resuscitated me.”

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

He nods, “what about you? I’m sure you have a reputation based on a rumour?”

She presses her lips together the way he always did, just as awkward. She sighs, huffing the air out of her nose and looking fed up. “I was groomed and assaulted by an older boy who then told kids I had a stalkerish crush on him so if I was to ever tell anyone what happened, then no one would believe me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer knows the words don’t make up for what happened. “I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to get into profiling?”

She nods, “I got away with some PTSD and trust issues, most girls go through much worse… they deserve someone who gets it to look into their cases.”

Spencer nods. “That’s how I felt after my kidnapping too. It took a while for me to look at crime scene photos and not think about how they felt, and wonder why I lived when so many die?”

“I’ve never been a religious person,” she prefaces. “But I do believe we are here for a reason. Whether you choseto be here after your last life or this is some learning opportunity, or God is actually real? And you’re supposed to do good.”

“In narcotics anonymous, they reference god a lot, it’s helpful for the addicts, but I never get into it,” he opens up with her more than he’s ever opened up with any friend. “If my Devine purpose is to suffer in order to relate to those I’m supposed to help that’s a load of bullshit… honestly, I can get pretty angry thinking about why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through doing this job, but it’s not as bad as what happened to me growing up, and it leads me to believe that I probably wouldn’t have had an easy time no matter how I live.”

She nods, “I know, I get that.”

“Sorry,” he snaps out of it. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”

“It’s exactly what I asked for actually,” she reminds him with a soft smile. “If you can still come to work every day, after all that, you must be incredibly strong— and if I’m anything like you the way people say I am, I guess I can do it too.”

He had no idea she would end up being his best friend.

She shadowed him just once in the office, picked up everything right off the bat and immediately made a name for herself in the unit. Derek tried multiple names on her before one stuck, and they knew it stuck when even Hotch called her Baby Genius.

She brought a different knowledge base to the team, similar to Spencers but visibly younger. She fit in with the crowds of kids they had to interview, she understood why kids reacted the way they did to trauma and abuse, and she was still a kid at heart. It was the reason Spencer fell for her.

She allowed him to feel free again. They went out together outside of work, going to events he always wanted to go to with a partner but never had a chance. She loved all the same things as him, and she takes him to places he’d never imagine enjoying before her.

Like laser tag… that was an afternoon he’ll never forget with her.

When JJ went into labour, that’s when Y/N started full time and Hotch hired Tara Lewis in the same week. The team barely had time to adjust to being undermanned before they were restocked.

Joining Spencer every morning for every case, she waited out front of her apartment for him to pick her up most mornings, sticking to his side throughout the long days and nights until he drove her home again. Even at work, they were partnered up for everything: heading to the M.E. together, bouncing facts back and forth at the precinct, playing good cop bad cop with perverts, and her personal favourite… Making the geoprofile.

And Spencer liked doing that part with her as well. Because it typically meant they were completely alone in a room, spreading out a map and leaning in close to each other as they placed every sticker and marker. Brushing hands, bumping shoulders, longing glances as they made connections… he also just liked to watch her hands move.

She was delicate and careful and precise… and he was falling in love with everything about her as the days went by.

Everyone on the team had noticed. It was really hard not to when they’ve all known Spencer for almost 11 years now. He was so different with her in his life, he was happy and giddy and dressing even better than before. His hair was perfect and he was glued to Y/N’s side. Or she was glued to his.

Even though they were mentally similar, physically they were polar opposites. Y/N wore all black and was a lot more outgoing than they expected. Rossi thought she’d be quiet… But she was constantly talking. To Spencer, to other officers, to witnesses, she never stopped talking and starting conversations, and thank god she did because she’s cracked 4 cases that way.

The biggest surprise the team learned about her happened on a case in Florida, a shooting in a local park in broad daylight with lots of witnesses meant the whole team was on the boardwalk asking questions. She went out to do her thing, talking to the local skaters, asking them if they knew anything but they didn’t want to cooperate.

They were too cool for the feds.

“Can I see your board?” She asks, “if I do some tricks will you answer some questions for me and Doctor Reid?”

“Knock yourself out,” one of the boys laughs as he hands her his board.

She hands Spencer her gun and shoots him a wink before taking off to do a few tricks. The whole team watches in awe then as Y/N showed off. Cruising along the halfpipe effortlessly like she was a professional.

“Okay Tony Hawk,” Morgan teases her, “where did that come from?”

“Skateboarding is easy, it’s just physics,” she shrugs. “I can figure skate too…”

“What do you want to know?” The boy takes his board back. “We always see some sketchy guys around here.”

Morgan pats Y/N on the back with a smile, applauding her ability to get anyone to open up before leaving her to take the statement.

“Agent?” One of the girls pulls her aside just before they are about to leave, “how did you do that kickflip? I’ve been trying to learn and the boys won't help me.”

“Sure thing,” she takes the girl's board and demonstrates a kickflip first.

“So, you see as I start the kickflip I bend my knees?” She shows her another kickflip all while explaining it. “Much like the with an ollie, I’m building pressure so I can apply it to the tail, making the board pop. The one thing that makes this trick different from the ollie is that instead of sliding my foot up, I just flick my toe out to the right of the board, by doing this, the board flips in a 360-degree motion.

She demonstrates again and it’s another flawless kickflip, and a huge smile on her face as Spencer watches her.

“How fast the board spins depends on how much force I put into it when I flick it out. As soon as the board flips in a full 360, your feet should connect and drive the board back to the ground.”

She hands the board back to the girl, “your turn.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her nerves out before taking off on her board, looping around and carefully bending her knees, she follows every step and it’s a flawless kickflip.

“Flawless!!” Y/N claps. “Those boys better watch out, you’re a natural.”

“Thank you,” she wraps her arms around Y/N and gives her a hug, “it’s taken me so long to be able to do that, you’re so cool.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “Good luck out there.”

She waves as she takes off on her board, leaving Y/N with a smile as she turns to Spencer. “I miss being that age and thinking everything is so cool.”

“You are really cool,” he agrees. Smiling softly as a blush fills his cheeks. “You’re always surprising me. Is there anything you can’t do?”

She laughs, “yeah the one thing I want to do the most.”

“Which is?”

She sighs, “maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

—

He’s sitting beside Penelope and Savannah, watching Derek and Y/N get drinks for what’s left of the group as the night drags on.

“When are you going to tell her?” Savannah asks.

“What?” Spencer pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“You have a crush on the new girl…” she pokes his cheek as he blushes and gives it away. “Tell her, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“She could feel forced to say yes because I’m a supervisory special agent and she isn’t and she wants to keep her job so she feels like she needs to,” Spencer worries. “I want her to like me back because she fell for me and I want her to initiate it because then I’ll know it’s not just a power dynamic issue.”

“Have you tried asking her, genius?” Penelope teases. “Because if you asked her then you’d know she has a crush on you and she’s afraid you’ll turn her down because you’re an SSA and she isn’t.”

“When did you hear that?”

Penelope pretends to lock up her lips and throw away the key, making Savannah laugh loud enough to get Derek's attention at the bar. When he and Y/N return, that’s when the questions start.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Spencer gets up and leaves the booth, walking out towards the smokers' exit at the back of the bar, getting a moment of semi-fresh air to think about what Penelope said.

“Spence?” She calls to him from the door, “are you okay? Can I come out here?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, I needed some air, it’s nothing.”

“Do you need a hug? I read it helps the most when people are stressed out,” she plays it off with a shrug.

“So you do have a crush on me?”

“She told you?” Her face lights with fury, “what the fuck, Penelope?”

“She didn’t mean to,” he tries to cover it up. “It was only brought up because I have feelings for you as well.”

Her eyes widen, her brows raise and her mouth slowly opens as she freezes.

“Y/N?”

She blinks a few times and shakes her head, “impossible. There’s no way.”

He laughs, “I’ll take that hug now?”

She lunges for him and wraps her arms around him so tight. Breathing him in, her hands wander his back as she takes in every second if it and he does the same. He can’t believe she’s that close to him, her hair smells nice and she’s so soft in his arms.

It’s quiet outside, they can hear the music behind the door, the people in the ally talking and the crickets in the night. It’s just them outside, holding each other in the smoking section with smiles on their faces, amazed that it’s finally happening.

“Can we keep this between us?” She whispers into his ear. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to go through all the paperwork and have to separate in the field if it doesn’t work out?”

“Wait,” Spencer pulls back. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

She nods, “well yeah isn’t that what happens when two people have a mutual crush? They date?”

“Okay,” he smiles, staring at her lips and then flicking his gaze back to hers with a blush. “I have more than a crush on you, I really, really like you.”

“Prove it,” she teases, “let's go on a real date soon?”

“You know what, let’s get out of here. I have something I want to show you,” he takes her hand and waits for her to nod.

“Take my lead okay? You don’t feel good and you’re going to wait outside while I say goodbye,” she has a plan right away

“After you,” he holds the door open for her and lets her inside first.

—

“I’m taking Spencer home, he’s not doing well,” she’s a much better actress than Spencer expected, patting his back and watching him leave the bar before her like she asked him to do. “He’s really anxious?”

Penelope looks worried, “oh no, I fucked up. I told him you like him.”

She just shrugs, “if he didn’t know that already then I guess he’s not as smart as he pretends to be.”

“See,” Derek looks at Savannah. “I told you everyone else also thinks he’s faking being that smart.”

“Shut up,” she shoves him and turns her attention back to Y/N. “Go make him feel better, he’ll like your company.”

“I’ll see you guys at work on Monday,” she waves them goodbye, surprised they bought it as she rushes her way back outside to Spencer.

He’s already in his car, engine running and waiting for her with a smile. “Come on,” he hurries her inside and is taking off down the road before she even has her seatbelt on yet.

“What’s the rush, Spence? It’s only 1 in the morning I’m sure tones of places are open still?” She teases.

“You’re going to like this, I used to go here all the time when I started with the bureau,” he explains, leaving the main road to take a back root, and eventually they’re driving on gravel.

“If you’re taking me here to murder me this is a dumb way to do it because they all know I left with you,” she teases. “At least when you go to get rid of me, do yourself a favour and dig 6 one-foot holes instead of one 6 foot hole…”

He laughs, “would you really give your murderer tips?”

She nods, “my goal would be to piss him off so much he either lets me go or murders me quickly. I don’t want to go through all the pain.”

“It’s not fun, that’s for sure,” he shrugs it off but she knows it hits too hard.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand out for his to hold by the gear shift. “I think you’re like the strongest guy in the world, you know that, right?”

“Why?” He asks as if that's a preposterous thing to say.

“I think if I got kidnapped and tortured at 24 I wouldn’t still be working in the FBI,” she admits. “I barely made it through the academy, I know this job is intense but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation.”

“If it’s up to me,” Spencer squeezes her hand tighter and brings it to his lips for a kiss. “You’ll never experience anything like that.”

He’s so good at making her feel safe that she almost believes he has the power to do that. He would do anything and everything to move fate for her safety.

He turns down another back road then, around the edge of a lake and towards a clearing. He follows old tire tracks and parks by the dock. “I found this spot one night on a random drive to clear my head.”

“I thought you hated driving?” She quizzes him.

He shrugs, “I like to drive at night when no one else is on the road because then I don’t really have to worry about anyone else. I hate driving because I can’t always anticipate other drivers' movements. If I could read minds, then I’d drive more.”

“Valid,” she nods, “now why is this such a special spot that you needed to show me right away?”

“Well, I have a telescope and it’s been in my trunk for the last 13 years so that every time I come here, I can look up at the moon…”

“You brought me here to look at the moon with you?” She swoons, “that’s so cute.”

“You think?” He looks like his heart is doing the same swelling as hers.

She gets out of the car before she can lean over and kiss him the way she wants to. In his trunk, he does have a telescope, and a blanket, which they set out on the dock and sit upon.

The sound of the lake, the loons in the distance, frogs and crickets and music travelling from somewhere down the lake. The moon was big, the stars were amazing, and this was the closest she has ever seen them. It's amazing, and of course, it was Spencer showing her everything.

He was everything to her.

And it didn’t take long for him to become everything to her either.

Joining the BAU was a dream to many at the academy, but Y/N never thought that she would get the job, overjoyed that she did. They were a family unit; they got the job done, they protected each other, and it was a wonderful environment to be a part of. She obviously liked Spencer the most out of everyone. He took her in, he made her feel comfortable and safe and she opened up more with him than she has with anyone she’s labelled a “best friend” in the past.

She liked everything about him. The way he talked with his hands, how his sweater, vest, shirt and tie always match, his gun looks a little out of place on his belt, like it’s too big for him, but it’s cute. His hair’s been getting longer too, sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes if she’s lucky, he doesn’t shave every day.

She can’t take her eyes off him when he’s busy and won't notice, just to then move her focus away when he stared at her. She only wishes she could see the way he stares at her in awe, because if it’s anything like how she looks at him, he must love her.

She keeps her hand in his, trading the telescope back and forth in turns, her face was close to his every time they switched and she kept getting bolder with each exchange. Letting Spencer look, she kept her face close to his, kissing his cheek softly as soon as he was busy peering up at the moon.

He turned to her with a gasp, “what was that for?”

“You’re cute,” she shrugs. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”

“How long?” He teases, leaning in closer and kissing her nose to make her laugh.

“Since you dropped me off at my house after that first dinner…”

“So this is me,” she nods out the window, “thank you for the ride, I appreciate not having to be in an Uber all by myself.”

“Anytime you need a ride, you can give me a call?” He asks. “Seeing as we’ll be going to the same place anyway.”

She nods with a smile, “I’d love that, do you live close to here?”

“Just up the street,” he nods. “So we could carpool?”

“I can drive some days if you want?” She asks, “I know you mostly take the subway, and I know that because I’ve seen you reading on there before.”

He can’t help but smile, “so you never thought to say hello?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “you looked peaceful, and I’m sure you don’t get many moments like that in your line of work.”

He sighed, knowing she was right. “If it ever gets to be too much for you, please never feel like you have to pretend to be okay? None of us expect you to be stone cold, none of us are either. The job gets to us, just tell me if it gets to be too much?”

She looks from his lips back to his eyes and over again, “thanks, Spencer.”

He does the same to her, “anytime. Should I walk you to your door?”

She shakes her head, “that’s okay you’ve done enough for me tonight.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Have a good night Y/N.”

“You too, Spencer,” she smiles before she exits his car, smiling at him from her porch before he drives away.

“So it’s been mutual this whole time?” He shakes his head at the absurdity. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and then I found you and you make me feel like I don’t need to be alone anymore.”

“You complete me too,” she makes one more comment before connecting their lips.

It’s like the world stops then. It’s silent and serene and everything she thought kissing Spencer Reid would be.

She pulls back with a smirk, “oh no.”

“What?” He worries.

“I’m going to want to kiss you all the time now…”

“Good,” he mumbles the words against her lips before reconnecting them.

—

At work on Monday, it’s very hard for them to look at each other without remembering that they’ve kissed. Spencer’s practically glowing with admiration for her that he gives it all away. He’s overly happy, offering to do things for others, standing way too close to her and bringing her coffee all morning.

“Okay, pretty boy,” Derek takes him by the scruff of the neck and redirects him into his office. “What’s going on with you today, I know you’re not this happy for JJ’s return?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you get laid or something?”

Spencer laughs, “no, you know I don’t get laid. You actually remind me of that fact quite often.”

“You’re so happy I’m worried you’ve moved to crack,” he says it. “Okay, you were acting weird on Friday, you missed brunch on Sunday and now you’re waaay too happy.”

“I’m not on drugs again,” Spencer assures him. “I’m just letting myself enjoy my time with Y/N, if she falls in love with me in the meantime that would also be nice.”

“Oh, so you’re doing this to get laid,” Derek teases him again. “That’s good, I’m sorry if I triggered you by asking, but I had to make sure you’re okay.”

“No, no,” he places his hands on Derek's shoulders, “thank you for caring.”

“Always—“

“Guys!” They hear Hotch yelling from the bullpen, cutting the tender moment short, saving Spencer from spilling the truth.

Rushing back, he sits beside Y/N at the briefing room table. “We have a bad one,” Emily Prentiss of all people walks in the door, followed by Elle Greenaway.

“We’ll have time to mingle in a minute, right now there is a woman who needs our help,” he announces.

Spencer quickly reads over the case files, recognizing Elles handwritten notes, she was a private investigator now. “With Penelope’s help, I’ve been able to set up alerts in College chatrooms in the area so that I can help to missing and assaulted women right away.”

“She’s alerted when someone reports a missing woman and she has advertisements for people to reach out to her for help,” Penelope explained.

“I’ve been working on these cases for the last 9 years,” Elle announces. “This morning Aasia Desai called me saying her sister Bahni never showed up for lunch and it’s not like her, we know she went clubbing last night and so far Penelope’s tracked her down an ally and then she’s gone.”

“Her parents are British diplomats so Interpol has asked me to join, luckily I was just in Ontario so it was a short trip over,” Emily adds. “JJ will be here in half an hour for her first day back, and we will celebrate when we can, but I see we have some new faces here?”

“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N,” she waves, still glued to Spencer’s side. “I’ve heard a lot about you both from Doctor Reid.”

“Doctor Tara Lewis,” she stands and shakes Emily’s hand, and then Elles.

“So it says here that the first missing case was in 2006 just after you left the BAU?” Spencer changes the subject before anyone can pry into why he would be telling her about the women who worked there before her.

“I did,” Elle nods. “I was too late for her, by the time her parents realized she was missing and called me in the case was cold. I started this as a way to get ahead of it.”

“How long has she been missing?” Tara asks.

“She was last seen at 1:07 this morning,” Elle confirms. “We have 25 hours, maybe, to beat the odds.”

“Reid,” Hotch cuts in, “I would like you and Elle to go check out the street she was last seen on, find any private cameras or anyone who might have seen something.”

He turns to Y/N who just shrugs in silence; “it’s fine.”

“Tara and Derek, I’d like you to interview Aasia when she and JJ get here, Garcia can you do a deep dive into Bahni’s spending and academic records?”

“Sure thing,” she starts clicking away on her computer immediately.

“And Y/N,” Elle looks at her. “I need you to go over the footage of the man who followed her to the alley and get familiar with his face. We’re using you as the face of the investigation to hopefully draw the unsub out.”

“How would she be able to do that alone?” Spencer gets defensive, a way he used to with JJ when she was the media liaison.

“If she goes on the news and makes Bahni seem like a person while describing the unsub as someone who can help solve the case, it will draw him out,” Emily explains for Hotch, who is glaring at Spencer for second-guessing the plan already.

“And she’s college-age,” Elle adds. “If that’s who he’s been going after all this time he will want to come in and talk IF he can talk to her.”

She places her hand on his leg under the table, “it’s a good plan.”

“It is,” Hotch agrees.

“What do you not have a saying to replace wheels up when they stay in town?” Elle teases him.

“Wheels away?” Emily joins her, “that works?”

“just get to work,” Hotch tries not to smirk at them.

Spencer stands up to leave with Elle, “can I just talk to Spencer before he leaves?” She carefully asks Hotch.

“Make it quick,” he agrees reluctantly and lets her follow him down to his desk.

Spencer rests his hands on the back of his desk chair, holding it tightly in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I’m going to be fine,” she assures him. “I don’t think the guy on the tape took her, we’d see him leave if he did.”

“Unless he lives in the alley,” Spencer combats. “Can you ask Penelope to do a background check on all the cars coming in and out of the campus and that street between midnight at 2 am?”

She nods, placing her hand on his gently. “Good luck out there, okay?”

He nods, “it’s been 2 days they’re going to know by the end of the week.”

She laughs, “so be it.”

He says fuck it right then and there, wrapping her up in a hug and kissing the top of her head as the team watches in the briefing room. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes you will,” she smacks his side as he lets her go. “If you’re going to make a scene at least give me a real kiss.”

“Hmm,” he teases. “No cause then I’d have to sign some paperwork and I’ve got to go…” he starts to back away.

“Coward,” she teases.

He just shrugs, meeting Elle by the door and heading towards the elevators in silence.

She doesn’t ask, not even when they get to the garage or inside the SUV. They’re driving down the road for maybe 2 minutes when Elle finally brings it up. “So—”

“What do you want to know?”

“It's that easy now? What happened to you?” She teases. “You’re so different from the baby Spence I left.”

“Well you missed my drug problem, my dad being a possible child molester, getting shot in the knee, getting shot in the neck, my girlfriend dying, and now my mom might have Alzheimer's so you know… I had to grow up a bit,” he lays it all out for her to ask any question she wants.

“Why don’t you ever call me? I would have been there for you through anything,” she reminds him.

“I know that,” he reaches over for her hand, “thank you. But I was a big fan of suffering in silence… and now I have Y/N and she makes me feel normal?”

“That’s good, you deserve some fraction of normal in your life and she’s really cute,” Elle smiles back at him before returning her focus to the road. “How old is she?”

“27,” he smiles. “She’s the best.”

“You love her,” Elle notices it.

He presses his lips together to fend off a smile as he nods, “I think I do.”

“Tell her, you deserve to hear that someone loves you back.”

—

She’s anxiously tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator to arrive with the suspect, Rossi standing just behind her. Only 15 minutes after being on the news, the man that was in the security footage contacted them. Making his way over for a voluntary interview.

He looks Y/N up and down with a smile, “I heard you were looking for me.”

“I sure was,” she plays along with it, smiling and making him think she’s interested as well. “I knew you’d get the message, we just need all the help we can get right now.”

“Of course,” he has his ego stroked so well that they can roll with it.

“Would you mind coming with me and Agent Rossi to talk about everything you saw?” She batts her lashes at him, really selling it.

“Sure,” he follows them down the hall.

Rossi opens the door and lets them in first, letting her get him settled and a glass of water. “So you can tell me everything from that night?”

“Sure,” he nods, explaining his taxi job, his run for the night and his alibi.

“So why did you step back into the doorway?” She asks as she sits in front of him. Straight-faced as she catches him off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You stepped out of the way to let her pass and then followed her, she made no motion to say she wanted your services, so I’m just wondering why you would follow her before she disappeared?”

“Huh,” he suddenly feels played and his personality switches. “I thought this was just a chat?”

“I’m simply asking you questions? If you don’t have answers that makes you suspicious. An innocent person would have given me an answer,” she fights back.

“She’s right, you got very defensive very fast,” Rossi finally speaks up.

He shakes his head with a huff. “I was going to ask if she needed a ride, she looked pretty messed up. And then some guy came over and wrapped his arm around her and they walked off. They seemed to know one another. I thought she was safe in his hands.”

Only his tone doesn’t match the words. He sounds jealous— It’s not like she would have been a large tab, he wasn’t jealous because he lost a customer. No, he’s jealous like someone stepped in and prevented him from snatching an easy victim.

“Fair enough,” she pretends to believe him. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“I can go now?” He changes right back to confused.

She nods, “I’ll escort you down if you’d like?”

“Thanks,” he stands and follows her to the door where Rossi stops her.

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I’ll be back up shortly.”

She catches up with him by the elevators, “did you have to drive far to get here?” She makes small talk.

“Not really,” he shakes it off. “I like your necklace.”

She touches her necklace and her face drops, “thanks.”

“Necklaces are my favourite.”

“You don’t wear any?” She notices in the form of a question.

He shakes his head as the elevator opens at the ground level. “I think they’re nice gifts.”

She nods along, pretending that didn’t set off every ret alert and alarm in her mind, “well here you are. Thanks again for all the help.”

“No problem,” he goes to leave, turning to stop and block the doors from closing. “If you want, later tonight I can show you everything I saw at the alley?”

“Yeah, sure,” she agrees with no plan to go.

“8 pm? At Cafe Linda?”

“See you then,” she agrees and he steps back letting the door close and then she loses her cool.

Feverishly smashing the floor 6 button, and begging to make it back up to Hotch to tell him everything. But she also just wants to cry but she holds it in as she makes it to their floor matching past Rossi and right into the briefing room.

“He may not be our unsub but that man is a creep,” she announces. “He not only complimented my necklace but he asked me to come to the alley tonight so he can walk me through what he saw.”

“You’re not going,” Hotch announces.

“I didn’t plan to,” she snaps. “I think we need to look into him because he’s either giving little girls necklaces to keep them quiet or he’s taking necklaces after he kills women.”

“Kathy’s parents said she was in a necklace when she went missing,” Emily adds. “His connection to this case and being at NYU right before she went missing gives us enough probable cause for a search warrant.”

Hotch sighs, “fine. I’ll call a judge, you and Y/N can go and search his place.”

“So shouldn’t we arrest him before he leaves the building?” Morgan asks.

“He’s still in the garage, I’ve let the security know to stop him and arrest him at the gate,” Garcia adds, listening in and planning in advance.

“Thank you,” Hotch smiles at her, “you’re always reading my mind.”

Garcia smiles back at him, “always, sir.”

“Okay, let’s go,” she looks at Emily and waiting for her to turn to leave the room.

“Let’s,” she motions for Y/N to take the lead and follows.

The drive to his house is so weird… she doesn’t quite know how to talk to Emily, knowing only slightly about her and her knowing nothing about Y/N.

“So how long have you and Spencer been dating?” Her first question just gets right to the point.

She laughs awkwardly, “3 days…”

“Oh…”

She hums as she nods along, looking out the window and avoiding Emily’s eye contact. “It’s new, we’re both pretty infatuated with each other but we’re taking it slower than most people because I’m afraid to let my feelings change how I do the job.”

“Makes sense,” Emily replies. Her voice is so sweet, she has an aura of calm that follows her and lets Y/N feel safe. She gets why Spencer said she was his best friend on the team before her.

“The necklace comment… why did it make you so wary of this guy?”

“When I was in middle school a guy gave me a necklace while he was grooming me,” she whispers. Looking out the window and pretending it doesn’t bother her now. “It’s fine, I don’t have it anymore, but I knew this guy had that same vibe.”

Emily put her hand out, letting Y/N interlock their fingers and hold it. “I know I just met you, but you’re family now. I’m here if you’re ever suddenly not fine with it anymore…”

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Let’s get this fucker.”

—

By the time the warrant went through, Spencer and Elle had joined them to search the first suspect's house while Emily left to help the rest of the team with suspect two. Tracking all the license plates in the area like Spencer suggested lead them to a Chinese food delivery driver in the area.

That didn’t stop Y/N from destroying her suspect's house. They tore the house apart, searching every nook and cranny for any answer that would make sense. She was tempted to lift the floorboards up, call in SCSI to run ground-penetrating radar and search the fucking walls if they had to.

But then she found it.

A small metal box in the laundry room contained some tools and when she lifted up the fake bottom, she found 5 necklaces.

“Elle!!” She yelled through the house.

They both came running down the hall to her, “is this Kathy’s necklace?”

“Oh my god,” she whispered with a nod.

“I want to kill this guy,” she mumbles under her breath as she places the necklaces back in the box and closes it up.

“Spencer doesn’t need another girl he has a crush on to murder someone and get kicked out of the bureau,” Elle teases.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“Way to go,” Spencer nudges her.

Y/N stands up with the box and slides it into a large evidence bag before taping it up. “I guess he has a type then.”

“I don’t,” Spencer tries to cover up. “I mean, if I do then it’s people who are nice to me…”

She smiles at him, unable to even pretend to be jealous or mad. “It’s hard to be mean to you when you’re so cute.”

“Ew,” Elle announces her disgust as she leaves the room.

“Let’s get out of here before I end up kissing you in a murderer's laundry room,” Spencer teases, taking her hand and leading her out of the house as the rest of the forensics team takes over the bagging of evidence.

“Guys,” Elle rushes back to them with her phone pressed to her ear. “We have a bigger problem than we thought with Bahni.”

They rush into the SUV, putting the team on the speaker to hear the most unthinkable. “So I did what Y/N suggested and searched every single driver coming in and off-campus and the last street she was seen on,” Penelope explains back. “And I came across a man who was delivering Chinese food under the name Tom Larson… and it’s ironic his name is tom because he has a plethora of peeping offences and general creepiness alongside a metric shit-ton of abuse from his dad and dead mother.”

“Okay?” Elle follows.

“Tom Larson lives near Bahni,” Emily explains, “I was just at his house where I found him and his father had been murdered.”

“So we have not 1 but 3 creeps in this case, and none of them are who took Bahni?” Spencer rubs his eyes. “Please tell me we know who was in Tom’s car last night.”

“That’s where it gets tricky,” Penelope says with the doles tones of keys clicking behind her words. “We were just contacted by the fugitive Taskforce because they believe one of the murderers they’ve been tracking took Bahni… but he has ties to a much larger scale global sex trafficking ring.”

Elle flies through the streets with their lights on, pulling back into headquarters and right up to the security check. “So who is this guy?”

“Once you get back up here, Agent Simmons and Alvez will explain everything,” Hotch confirms. “I’m taking Derek to see Cruze, we need to tell him what’s going on.”

“Sounds good,” Elle hangs up and throws the SUV in park.

Y/N hesitates, staying put and taking a few breaths as Spencer watches. Elle’s left the car and is already on her way to the elevator. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I just have a hug real quick?”

“Yeah,” he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “Are you okay?”

She nods against him, “yeah it’s just good to have at least 8 hugs a day.”

“Hug me whenever you need to,” he whispers against her hair, kissing the side of her head before she pulls back.

“Kisses are helpful too?”

He smiles, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, mumbling against them, “how many?”

She hums, “10?”

He pecks her lips 10 times and counts each one, making her giggle, it takes so much effort to hold her smile back to keep kissing him but she feels much better.

“Thank you,” she beams and she can swear Spencer's eyes sparkle as he smiles back.

She pulls him into another hug, “I hate that we have to go catch a killer right now.”

“Come on then, as soon as we get him we can go on another date somewhere?”

She shakes her head, “after this case I think we should take a nap together… I’m exhausted and I don’t want to let you go.”

Spencer shakes his head in amazement, “you really like me?”

“Yeah, maybe I do,” she teases him. “You should get used to it because it’s only going to get more intense and I will smother you with love.”

He just shrugs, “it’s about time—“

They’re startled with a knock on the window, “we get it you’re in love, can we go now?”

“Sorry!” Y/N calls back with a giggle, pulling him in for one last kiss before getting out. Spencer follows with a deep blush that everyone will see when they get back upstairs, but it looks cute on him.

Luke Alvez has been trying to catch one criminal for the last 2 years. Simon Garrett has been a pain in the ass for the FBI, the CIA and DEA. He first showed up on their radar when his DNA was found on 14 women’s remains, all of who had been missing for at least 5 years.

His DNA was then traced to his son in the foster system, who’s been off the radar for the last 10 years. Everette Garrett.

“Now he’s interesting because I’ve been investigating his sex trafficking ring between Canada and the United States,” Matt adds. “All 14 women his father's DNA was found on were thought to be in his ring, which means when they get too old he hands them to his father to take care of.”

Y/N shakes her head as she listens, “so if you’ve been looking for them for this long what makes you think we can find them in time to save Bahni?”

“We’ve been tracking him for a while, we knew that he had a new girl on his radar and when we heard it was Bahni Desai we knew it was time to get you guys,” Matt explains.

“So far we know that she has to be taken to this warehouse in Alexandria before she goes any further, we’re going to intercept them before they make it to the warehouse and then use their car to gain access to take the whole thing down,” Luke rolls out a map of the facility then.

“We need to have the place surrounded for any runners, SWAT is getting prepped, we’re going tonight at 3 am,” Matt adds. “Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, Alvez and Myself will be running a team at each of the 5 exits. Once inside, each team's swat unit will deploy gas to carefully knock everyone out, from there we need someone to cuff everyone at least until we know who is a victim and who is working there.”

“We’re taking everyone alive?” Spencer makes sure he hears them right.

“We need to know what the step after this warehouse is if we want to rescue more victims,” Luke’s voice is gentle yet stern as he explains. “I’ve seen this man take too many women from good homes and ruin their lives, I’m not letting him slip out of my fingers.”

“We’ve had this planned for months, we just needed to wait for the next confirmed drop-off.”

“Who’s driving?” Y/N asks, having a feeling it was her and Spencer.

“He’s Reids age,” Hotch announces from the door as he walks in with Cruze, “so we’ll replace Everette with Reid and Bahni with Y/L/N.”

“Rossi and Elle will be there to apprehend Everette, we’re setting up a fake traffic spot to irritate him and inhibit him from running. You two will be in a duplicate car arriving at the warehouse at the arranged time,” Emily confirms. “We just have to prep SWAT and then we can leave.”

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

—

Pretending to be kidnapped in the back of a car driven by her boyfriend was possibly the weirdest way to spend a Tuesday morning. Driving the exact make and model as their unsub, her heartbeat was loud enough to cover the sound of the engine and distract her from the long drive. She was overly anxious, and rightly so, it was her first sting.

And she was doing it all without coffee. Tired but full of adrenaline, she wanted to close her eyes and drift off but she knew she needed to be ready to apprehend the men at the gate with Spencer.

She feels the large bump, indicating they just went over a speed bump and she knows what that means. The car slows and she can hear the muffled talking before swat steps in, soon enough Spencer is cracking the trunk open and reaching in for her.

“Are you okay?” He helps her to her feet and makes sure her bulletproof vest is on right before handing her, her gun and watching her clip it on.

“Yeah, what happened?”

“The guards are down, Swat moved in as soon as we arrived, now we have to stand here and wait for them to clear the building,” Spencer explains as they walk to the front of her car.

She draws her gun and keeps it pointed low, guarded as they watch the front entrance for anyone to escape. “Do you know if Bahni is okay?” She whispers towards him.

He nods, “they radioed in that they got her, she’s being airlifted to the hospital with JJ right now.”

She nods with a deep breath, “okay good.”

“It’s going to be fine, we have enough SWAT here to take the government,” he tries to joke, getting a laugh from one of the officers… very strange to see someone laugh while holding an assault rifle.

One of the swat side steps towards Spencer, “I’m hearing on the line that they’ve cleared every room. They’re cuffing everyone, you’re free to enter.”

“Thanks,” Spencer replies.

The high-pitched screech rubber gripping asphalt in an attempt to stop draws their attention backwards. Elle and Rossi jumping out with their guns drawn, ready to join even though the exciting part is long over.

“No runners?” Elle asks, holstering her weapon. “Aw man, I was excited.”

“Not a one,” Y/N adds, watching the front entrance for the rest of the team to start funnelling out with the unsubs.

Luke exits first with a big smile on his face, Simon Garrett cuffed and barely stumbling out the door in front of him. He finally got him.

“well done,” Elle congratulates him. “Let me help you get him in SWAT van.”

“I think she has a thing for Luke,” Rossi leans into Y/N to gossip. “she wouldn’t stop asking about him on the drive…”

“Ooo,” Y/N teases, getting more and more tired as her adrenaline drops. Her eyes are heavy and Rossi can tell.

“Why don’t I bring you and the good doctor home, I don’t think they need all of us for the wrap-up,” Rossi pats her back. “You’ve had a long night, kid.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, holstering her gun and turning with him towards the SUV. “I’m so exhausted.”

“Well you’ve been on the job for almost 24 hours now, you’ve officially made it through your first overnight sting op,” Rossi congratulates her like he’s her grandpa.

She turns back when she doesn’t hear Spencer following her, “Spence? Are you coming?”

“Um,” he has something to ask as he follows then but he doesn’t say it. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, come sit with me in the back?” She asks, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder as soon as their seatbelts are on.

“Did you still want to have a nap together?” He whispers, feeling her nod against his shoulder before she pulls back.

“Come here,” she tugs him in against her chest, snuggling in as best as she could in their sitting position. Holding him close and feeling him drift off in her arms. She has no problem following suit.

When she wakes, Rossi is parked outside of her apartment, “here you go, Y/N.”

She hums as she comes to, shaking Spencer awake too, “Spence, come on, let’s get to bed.”

“He’s going with you?”

She nods, “don’t tell Penelope. She’ll have a field day, I just want a nap.”

“You better get more than a nap,” Rossi orders. “You guys need to actually rest before you come back to work on Wednesday.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she teases him. “We will.”

“Bye Dave,” Spencer whispers as he gets out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Anytime kid,” Rossi waves them off, waiting for them to enter the building before driving away.

“Finally,” she sighs, dragging Spencer down the hall and towards her apartment. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“me too,” he barely says.

He follows her inside like a lost puppy, taking off his vest and shirt, slipping out of his pants until he’s in an undershirt, boxers and his mismatched socks. She’s amazed by how comfortable he is with her, but she has known him for 3 months, it’s enough time to fall in love with someone… right?

She’s loved him since she started working with him. When she realized he valued her opinions, he looked at her as a person and he genuinely loved her company. She felt a real connection with him, not just childish infatuation. He was everything to her.

She slides into bed beside him and snuggles in, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting her head on his chest.

“I guess I really can do everything,” she smirks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She pokes his chest and giggles away the awkwardness, “the thing I wanted to do most, the thing that I couldn’t do… that was to fall in love with you, but I did it anyway.”

“Well, then I guess I can do everything too.”

She pulls away to look at him, “I love you, Spencer. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but I’ve loved you for a while.”

He pulls her in for a kiss, shocking her as he breathes her in and holds her there. “I love you, more Y/N.”

Permanent tag list

@goldensonlyangel @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxospencerreid @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose @reidsacademia @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @spooky-goob @strawberryspence @thatsonezesty13 @lonewolf471 @cmvibess @a-mended-pact @ssa-uglywhore27

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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atozfic · 3 years

Text

[01:27]

pairing. jeong yunho x gn!reader x choi san. | warnings. smut, threesome, softdom!san, switch!reader, sub!yunho, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, hair pulling, brief dolification, hints at exhibitionism, mentions of voyeurism, name-calling, praise, nipple play, orgasm denial, hints of kitten play, creampie, anal play, mxm, begging, light degradation, masturbation, mentions of after care. | word count. 1.1k | hyde's input. so i hit 200 followers and, since it seemed like y’all wanted a part two to [00:59 am], here it is. thank you for interacting with my blog in any way, even if you just click on the read more section. i appreciate it, and you.

he'd always been told that, in life, you can't always get what you want. everything was give and take, and sometimes you just have to lose.

thankfully, this is not one of those times.

how he got in this position, yunho doesn't know. and, quite frankly, he doesn't care to question it.

not when he's got his cock stuffed down your throat, his hand tangled in your hair to hold you in place as san lazily fucks into you from behind.

"isn't my doll just the prettiest?" san is making no attempts to keep himself quiet, much like the first time he'd had his way with you this evening.

"yeah, oh my-" san must have hit a particular spot inside of you, forcing the most pornstar like moan out of you and the feeling alone has yunho's eyes snapping shut. he's fighting against his own body to keep quiet. he's not as shameless as san, he doesn't know how he'd explain this scene if any other member were to stumble upon it. "so pretty."

"c'mon yunnie, you can say more than that." san winks in his direction and yunho becomes captivated with the way his hand snakes around to toy with your nipples. "the little cockslut likes getting praised, don't you baby? like hearing about how well trained you are in milking cum out of me?."

you can only respond with a nod, your mouth working itself up and down on yunho. he's close to insanity, or something very similar to it, losing grip between what's real and what's fiction. for a moment, he wonders if this is all a dream. he could have fallen asleep, boner still on display as he escapes into the dreamscape of all the things he'd wished had happened.

your mouth being pulled off of him helps ground him again, the night air cold on his wet tip. he wants to protest, to scream out that it's unfair for him to be left without an orgasm for the second time in one night. but it's not his place, really. he should feel thankful enough you'd even leant him your mouth, to expect permission to cum down your throat was just greed.

"sannie, he's so close to cumming. i could feel it." yunho swears he hears you laugh sadistically, as if you're enjoying the way his hands are clutching the sheets. under both your stares, he feels smaller than you both, feels like he's being controlled into not touching himself.

san's hand replaces his own in your hair, softly tugging you back to press you against his chest. with the new position, yunho can see how the younger boy's member is sliding in and out of you. glistening and wet, and with so much ease. "does he deserve to, kitten? think he's been good enough for us to let him cum down your throat? or should we just put on another show for him? he clearly enjoyed touching himself to the first one."

yunho feels the shame entering him, his cock twitching in his lap.

"did you like hearing san fuck me, baby boy?" yunho just about whines at the name you call him. "he's really good at it, you know? always fucks me so good."

"i give as good as i get, kitten." san plants his mouth on your neck, both of you maintaining eye contact with yunho as his thrusts speed up.

you're the one who stops him, the one who pulls yourself out of san's grasp, the one who sits yourself down in yunho's lap. you lean in close and yunho is sure he could cum right then, his cock trapped between both your torsos. "i wanna make him cum inside of me. can i, sannie?"

with san's approval, everything moves quickly. in the blink of an eye, you're pinned to the small bed as yunho pounds into you with san chanting words of encouragement from behind.

yunho is relishing in the way san's hand rests on his back, guiding each of his thrusts into you. and when it starts to slide further down, the taller male thinks nothing of it.

until the feeling of a wet intrusion spreads over him. his hips stop amidst the shock, head so fuzzy with the new found feeling of euphoria that he doesn't even hear the way you're begging him to speed up again.

"holy shit yunho, has no one ever put anything in your ass before?" san taunts him, slowly working his finger further into the male. "you can barely take one finger."

"aww sannie, he's blushing!" you coo from under him, bucking your hips up. "that's so cute."

"i don't remember him being told to stop fucking you though." san's voice is coated in a darkness yunho has never heard before, fear mixed with arousal pouring into his soul. "kinda selfish to stop taking care of my kitten all cause you got a little pleasure yourself, don't you think?"

it's all the motivation yunho needs to pick up pace again. each of his thrusts are met with san's finger pushing into him, while the younger boy has taken it upon himself to jerk his own member off with his free hand. his orgasm feels closer than ever, the combined pleasure of you clenching around him and san massaging his prostate leaving him empty headed.

"can you come for us, prince?" your voice breathes out from below him and he can tell you're just as far gone as him. "wanna be filled up with your cum."

"he'll do it, don't worry. he's a good boy." both of san's hands are working faster, pushing himself and yunho closer to the edge.

and, when yunho falls off it, it's a chain reaction.

he paints your insides white, you clench around him in one last cry of pleasure and san's cum hits yunho's back.

the silence from earlier has returned. yunho can't think of much, barely noticing how san's finger has left him and how you've gotten out from under him. laying back on his bed alone is exhausting.

"let's go get you cleaned up and then we can take care of him, okay?" once more, san seems to instantly return to his doting self.

yunho picks up on the sound of the door opening, sees the way you've both hastily dressed yourselves and how san's got you steady in his arms. just as the door shuts to leave him all alone in the darkness again, wooyoung's voice rings through.

"i can't believe you two let yunho have sex with you before you let me!"

#ateez smut #jeong yunho smut #choi san smut #ateez timestamps #jeong yunho timestamps #choi san timestamps #ateez x reader #jeong yunho x reader #choi san x reader

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joysmercer · 2 years

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[~2 days after the season 3 finale, inspired by this post by @/lilydreaming13]

Patricia meanders into the kitchen, daydreaming of cinnamon rolls and french toast, but instead of Trudy’s freshly-baked breakfast goods, she's met with a truly vomit-inducing scene that causes her to turn on her heel and run out again.

“Patricia!” Joy calls, following close behind her. “Patricia, wait.”

Patricia stops at the base of the staircase, arms crossed. “Ugh, I need to go gouge my eyes out.”

Joy rolls her eyes. “Oh, shut up. It’s not like I’ve never walked in on you and Eddie doing the exact same thing before.”

“That’s different!”

“How so?”

Patricia reddens. Joy smirks triumphantly.

It’s short-lived, however, when Patricia blurts a second later, “Seriously? Jerome?”

Joy shrugs. “We’ve decided to give it, the us thing, a go.”

“What? How? When?”

“Exactly what I said, it’s a long story, and at the fireworks,” Joy says cheekily, counting the points off on her fingers.

Patricia’s about to demand more information but ends up watching, slightly stunned, as Joy’s expression slowly melts into a soft, slightly dazed smile. She hasn’t seen her friend look like that since—well, since Fabian, and even that pales in comparison to the shy, effortless happiness she’s exuding now. “Wait, you really like him, don’t you?” she asks softly.

Joy looks down at her feet sheepishly. “Listen, I know it must seem weird, given that we used to straight-up hate each other, but—”

“No, no, it’s—I’m surprised, but happy for you, Joy, truly.” Patricia smiles and squeezes her hand sincerely. “You deserve this, especially after so long.”

Now it’s Joy’s turn to blush. “Gosh, look at us,” she laughs. “Our middle-school selves would be appalled. Me with Clarke and you with the principal’s son, ‘of all people.’”

Patricia shrugs good-naturedly. “Eh, we also thought One Direction was Peak Music Quality back then. What did we know?”

The girls simultaneously whip around at the sound of footsteps to find Jerome leaving the living room, balancing one plate stacked high with pancakes in each hand, and sauntering (as best he can without tripping) toward the hallway. He winks at them as he passes, and they stare in mild horror as he enters not his own bedroom, but the one next to it.

Joy glances at Patricia. "Fabian’s out visiting his uncle, isn’t he.”

“Yup.”

“So our boyfriends are planning something insane together right now, aren’t they.”

“Double-Yup.”

“Do we need to be worried?”

“Joy, I’ve been at this a lot longer than you have,” Patricia says matter-of-factly. She pauses for a moment, then sighs and nods. “We should’ve started strategizing five minutes ago.”

“Figures.”

“You go get some food; I’ll get the others and the room ready.” Patricia waggles her eyebrow mischievously and adds, “Also, be prepared with all the details of how you two happened, coz I don’t remember anything and frankly, I’m curious.”

Joy grins and races back to the kitchen, eagerly looking forward to some long-overdue girl-talk.

#yes patricia does do (and enjoy) girl-talk but only w joy present and when shes not the topic of discussion lmfao #house of anubis #patricia williamson #joy mercer #jeroy #peddie #my writing #c: patricia williamson #c: joy mercer #is this perfectly canon compl? probably not but #im sad about them so have some happy besties hehe #unedited obviously #myposts

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sodasback · 3 years

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Ex BF - Part 2

Drew Starkey x Reader

Part 1

You guys, I changed my mind, this one just works so much better as a Drew Starkey fic ...so fuck it, I’m just gonna post what I had on my deactivated blog.

It had been months since you ran into Josh on set at Drew’s work. Luckily, Drew was only in a couple scenes for that project and he only worked on that show one more day without running into Josh. Now, you, Drew and a lot of the Outer Banks crew were all in LA again and going out to a bar.

Unfortunately for you, and everyone that night, Josh and his friends were at the same bar.

“Oh hey, it’s y/n and her movie star boyfriend, Andrew.” Josh said as he appeared next to you and drunkenly leaned an arm on your shoulder. If looks could kill, the look on Drew’s face would have for sure been the death of Josh. It was a mixture of shock and rage at the audacity of this guy. Drew was so taken aback, he didn’t know how to react.

You uncomfortably chuckled and squirmed out from under Josh’s arm to stand in front of Drew quickly, not knowing if Drew’s truly calm nature could be tested any further. “Mhmm, great to see you Josh.” You stated dismissively.

Your effort to separate them was lost as Drew instantly and easily maneuvered you behind him protectively. You turned for the bar as quickly as possible, hoping to end the situation there, so you grabbed Drew’s hand to pull him along with you.

“Aww, y/n/n, you’re not gonna stay and let me get to know your little boyfriend?”

You felt dead weight behind you as you tried to pull Drew away.

“Bro, I’m telling you right now, back the fuck off.” Drew stated. You whirled around to get in front of him, as Josh took a step forward and titled his chin up, “Or what?”

You put your hands on Drew’s chest. He easily looked over your head to continue glaring at Josh.

“Drew” you said sternly. He glanced down at you for a second, before looking back up at Josh. Josh smirked and waited to see what Drew was gonna do. “He’s not worth it. Trust me.” You said. Drew looked down at you and softened.

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder an you wrapped both arms around his waist to walk to the bar.

“You know, as hot as you are when you get all scary like that. I really really don’t want you getting in a fight because I have an absolutely horrible ex boyfriend.”

You emphasized the first part of this sentence, but Drew just gave you a deadpan stare. He knew you were trying to flirt with him to get him to relax. And you knew it was too late at this point. As evolved and emotionally intelligent as Drew was, he had now entered caveman mode. Josh challenging him because of you triggered instincts deep within him to meet that challenge aka defending your honor. ...1 point toxic masculinity, 0 points non-violent female empowerment.

At this point in your life, you were happy. You had everything you wanted in your career. You had a beautiful apartment. Your family was healthy. You had the best friends you could ask for. And of course, you had Drew. Drew was the one. He was your soulmate. Your best friend. And you knew it. You didn’t feel the need to put Josh in his place any more. You just wanted to keep enjoying your life. You had time to make peace with what Josh did to you and you felt like you moved past it and him. Yeah, you felt like you were past it, you tried to convince yourself. It had been years since the incident happened and you and Josh broke up...

Flashback

You and Josh were 20 and had been on and off for a couple years. One night, you had both been out, when you started fighting, something that wasn’t new to your relationship. Josh had been flirting with another girl a lot of the night and gaslighting you to make you feel like you were imagining it. As you brought up the flirting again, he was reaching for his car keys. You were pissed that he was using this tactic again. He would leave until you calmed down and started to worry about him so much that you would just finally give in and forget the fight, instead of holding him accountable. You were so mad at him for making you feel like you were crazy and for always manipulating you by leaving. You couldn’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth, “Sure, just leave again. Fucking typical, Josh. Like father, like son, I guess.”

And before you could even process what happened, the whole right side of your face was stinging, a cut near eye was bleeding from his ring and your ears were ringing. Josh had just backhanded you hard. Time stood still for a moment as your hand went to cradle your cheek. You were absolutely shocked.

“Oh fuck. You okay?”

You finally looked up at him with an unreadable expression on your face. “..don’t make this a big deal, okay? That was a really shitty thing to say and you just made me so mad, I couldn’t help i-” At that point, you stormed into the bedroom and locked the door. He now was faced with you being upset and maybe even losing you; he started knocking on the door and apologizing profusely after realizing your reaction. You were completely blocking out all the noise coming from the other side of the door as you tried to gather your thoughts.

Okay, that was a really low blow. Yeah, but he HIT you.

I definitely shouldn’t have said that. But he HIT you.

Maybe I deserved it. No, he HIT you. You continued to argue with yourself.

What would you tell your y/bff’s/n if this happened to her?

What would your mom or dad tell you right now?

If he did it once, he could do it again.

...this isn’t the first time you’ve been scared of him.

...but he seems genuinely really sorry.

You opened the door to find Josh sitting on the ground leaning against the wall. He looked at you scared and hopeful, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry for what I said. It was really unfair and hurtful of me.” You stated genuinely.

Relief washed over his face for a second, “I’m so sorry baby. I swear that will never happen again.” He said, as he got up and he started to make his way to hug you.

“Yeah, I know it will never happen again...” you held your hand out to stop him from touching you, confusion now evident in his expression, “because we’re done.”

His face dropped, expression now being somewhere between confused, angry and disappointed. Josh wasn’t used to you putting up boundaries and not letting him get away with all the shit he pulled. “Y/N-” he started.

“No.” You said adamantly, “Frankly, I don’t care how sorry you are. I don’t care how much I pissed you off. I don’t care how much you promise that will never happen again. Our relationship was toxic before what just happened. I know I’m not perfect and I have a lot of things to work on. But I 1000% know in my bones, that I WILL NEVER let you hit me again. I deserve better. We’re done. I’m going to my parents’ house. I’m coming back tomorrow between 10 and 2 to get my stuff. Don’t be here.”

A couple months later, you had a text from an unknown number. It was Josh borrowing a friend’s phone to text you, since you blocked any way he had to contact you. He apologized. He held himself accountable. There was no deflecting or manipulating in the message and he promised he would never contact you again. You replied: “Thank you for your apology. Yes, I’d appreciate it if you don’t contact me again.”

And that was it. You ran into him briefly at the grocery store once and you had been in a really good mood. Your interaction was light and almost flirty. You felt so ashamed about it later, but you hadn’t seen or heard from Josh again until years later, with Drew on set. And little did you know, seeing you with Drew set something off in Josh that he just couldn’t let go.

As you stood at the bar, waiting for the bartender’s attention, you turned to see the caveman version of your gorgeous boyfriend still glaring, his fists clenching and unclenching.

“Babe.” You said and he looked at you.

“He’s got fuckin nerve.” He said shaking his head and you took a deep breath ready for the rant, “First off, called me a movie star. I am a serious actor, Y/N.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Drew being offended anything this asshole said and Drew’s eyes widened at you and you stifled a giggle while you laced your hands around his neck to appease him, “Mhmm” you encouraged.

“And then he called me ‘Andrew’“ Drew went on. And you nodded and gave him a sympathetic pout, “I know, I heard.”

“And THEN, he has the AUDACITY to put his fucking arm around you?! Bro, I’m heateddddd-” He continued, barely paying attention to you as you leaned your body against his. You ignored the fact that he just called you bro and tried a different tact.

“Drew, stop. You can’t get into a bar fight. Think about your job.”

“I don’t care about my job. I care about you.”

“That’s not true. You do care about your job. And I know you care about me. But if you get into a fight right now, it’s not gonna change what he did to me. It was a long time ago. We’re not together anymore. I’m over it. Punching him is not gonna do anything except jeopardize your future.”

Drew still had his fight face on, “Well, knocking that smirk off his fucking face would sure make me feel better.” He said and you scowled at him. “And for the record, I don’t think you’re over it. And you don’t have to be. You never have to be over it. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t fucking strong and badass.”

You were quiet as you contemplated what Drew said. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before looking at you. “Okay” he said softly.

“Thank you” you said softly before you pulled him down to kiss him. After a minute of you successfully distracting him with a pretty passionate slow kiss, you felt Drew melt a little.

“Hey, I’m sorry. Do you want to leave? Like do you not feel like being out anymore?” He asked sweetly.

“No, I’m okay. He’s just being a drunk asshole.” You turned away to grab the drinks the bartender poured for you and Drew, “We probably won’t even see him for the rest of the night.”

You turned back and realized caveman Drew was now glaring at Josh again as you spoke, “..or not.” You rolled your eyes.

Despite the bad beginning, you and your friends ended up having fun as the night went on. And you and Drew proceeded to drink. Which was probably not the smartest decision. You were both feistier when you drank and you knew Drew’s natural state of calmness was only going to wear off as the night went on.

Eventually, you had to go to the bathroom. But you didn’t trust Josh to not instigate something with Drew while you were gone and you didn’t trust Drew to not try and avenge your honor while you were gone either. So you found Austin, Chase and JD. Chase and JD were only half-listening as they watched whatever game was on the tvs at the semi-crowded bar.

“Guys, I need you to watch Drew while I go pee.” You said. Drew rolled his eyes and hung his head back with a groan.

“What’s the rig?” Austin asked, ironically using his favorite word as he put one arm on your shoulder and the other on Drew’s.

“Drew is trying to fight my ex-boyfriend and you need to stop him from ruining his career and/or going to jail for assault.” You looked at Drew as you finished your sentence remind him that he could get in serious trouble for getting in a fight. Drew scoffed as Austin looked to him for confirmation of what you were saying.

“He called me a movie star dude” Drew said.

“Oooff” Austin agreed that this was a major dig.

“And then he called me ‘Andrew’“

“Ahhh man” Austin commiserated, “This kid deserves to get hit for sure.”

“Austin!” You scolded, “You are not helping!”

“Bro, that’s not even half of it. Like what he did to Y/N; he deserves to get the absolute shit beat out of him, I promise you-”

“Okay, stop! We’re not discussing this. Chase, JD, you are in charge of Drew. Keep him occupied while I go pee and don’t let him ruin his entire life by getting in a stupid bar fight. And Austin, stop encouraging him and keep your mouth shut til I get back please!” You commanded, as you pushed Drew and Austin toward Chase and JD. JD gave you a salute while he put his arm around Drew’s shoulders.

While you were gone, Drew was drunk and spilling all your business, trying to get all 3, also drunk, boys on his side. “Guys, you don’t even know. This guy is the biggest asshole.”

“Wait, is he really? Or do you just not like him because he’s y/n’s ex?” JD asked.

“No dude. First of all, he like cheated on her a bunch of times; he was super manipulative and .. he fucking hit her once dude.”

The all looked at each other, “What the fuck?!”

“Like hit her?”

“Yeahhhhhh, like physically hit her face.”

“Well you are completely justified, brother.”

“Yeah, we have your back man, whatever happens.” They all nodded and broke out of their little huddle.

“Look! No fighting!” Chase said proudly when you got back, opening up his arms.

“Good job Chase. Gold star” You said returning his quick side hug.

The group decided it was time to go to one more bar, so you all walked out the back ext into a big alley. Where, of course, Josh and his friends were smoking and noticed your crew before you noticed them.

“You think her movie star boyfriend knows what an uptight little prude she used to be?” Josh said to his friend loud enough for you to hear. You honestly didn’t even care about what Josh said, you knew he was trying to get Drew to react. And you knew even your sweet, soft Drew was not immune to anger getting the best of him. Drew stopped walking, still slightly turned away from Josh and just shook his head, not believing Josh’s audacity.

Even though the guys had been supportive when they were talking to Drew about fighting Josh, no one actually wanted that to happen. So Austin was quickly by Drew’s side, “Don’t do it bro. It’s not worth it.”

“Drew.” You said trying, to get him to focus on you. Unfortunately, you were with a group of boys full of testosterone and Chase was also feeling feisty and protective.

“Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up bro” Chase said, taking a step toward Josh, but luckily a level-headed JD was immediately pushing Chase softly backward.

“Ooh maybe, she’s not such a prude anymore. Maybe she’s sleeping with the whole cast; they’re all so protective of her.” Josh laughed.

“Josh stop! What the fuck is wrong with you?” You yelled at him. And Drew was instantly moving in front of you, “You need to stop talking right now man.” Drew said in a tone that made the hair on your arms stand up. You could feel the tension rolling off Drew.

“Drew calm down. Please.” You pleaded as he looked down at you.

“Y/n, I can’t let him talk about you that way.”

“He’s trying to get under your skin. That’s what he wants.”

“Yeah, well it’s fucking working.”

“Drew, come on. Let’s just go home.” He began to give in as you pulled his arm.

Josh was obviously determined for a fight, because the next thing that came out of his mouth made it impossible for anyone to stop Drew.

“Hey good luck with y/n, man. I treated her like trash for years and she still came running back to me, bitch has got issu-” And before he could utter another word, Drew’s fist connected with his jaw.

“Fuck.” You cursed as your hands went through your hair and you backed up between Austin, Chase and JD.

Josh recovered and hit Drew in the eye.

You gasped. Turning into JD’s chest and he protectively wrapped his arms around you. Drew hit Josh again and he fell to the ground. Drew bent over him and punched him again. “Don’t you ever fucking talk about her again!” He yelled through gritted teeth, “Don’t look at her again. And if you EVER touch her again, I swear to God-” he spat in between a few more punches.

“Drew! Please!” You yelled and finally Austin pulled him back. “That’s enough, bro.”

“Come on” JD still had his arms around you, walking you away from everything.

Drew was breathing heavy and trying to overcome his adrenaline. You and JD were already around the corner with most of the group.

“Come on, let’s go” Chase ushered Drew away with Austin. And they followed in the same direction. Drew saw you walking ahead of him.

“Y/N” he called after you softly. You stopped and turned around. He was already right there enveloping you in his arms.

“Fuck y/n. I’m so sorry.” He muttered kissing the top of your head. You just kept holding each other while the group called Ubers.

You pulled away from him a little, “Are you okay?” You asked trying to get a look at the bruise forming on his face. “Yeah, baby. I’m fine. I’m so sorry I did that. I’m sorry I put you in this situation.” He said, hugging you again. After a long pause, you pulled up and looked up at him:

“Thank you.” You stated genuinely and Drew looked at you surprised. But while you continued to look at each other, you both understood without saying anything more. You both knew it wasn’t okay that Drew just got in a fight. And you both knew you didn’t need your boyfriend to defend you honor, but you were thankful someone finally had.

Taglist: @moniamaybank @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @hernameisnoell @railmerafe @stupidpendeja @lemur46 @phantompogues

#Drew Starkey #drew starkey x reader #Drew starkey x Y/n #drew starkey imagine #outer banks #outer banks fan fiction #obx imagine #obx

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the-last-kenobi · 3 years

Note

I love your writing so much!! If you’re still taking requests, could you do 9 with Obi-Wan and Anakin?

Thank you!! <3 And of course! I hope you enjoy.

From this various prompts list.

Set after The Wrong Jedi arc. And it’s way... way longer than I meant it to be. Whoops. I told myself, make this one short. Actually a prompt fill. And then I laughed at myself and wrote a fic and I don’t know exactly how long it is because I was too scared to look at the word count.

I tagged it as long post so I hope those of you who aren’t in the mood for my rambling bs are as to skip it!

I will add a reading cut when I get my hands on a laptop.

When Skywalker stormed into the training bay, his fists clenched by his sides, troopers scattered out of his way like silver-fish before a Bloodfin.

Even without Force-sensitivity, it was impossible to miss the potent fury rolling off the young General in waves, almost visible on the air, scalding anyone who got too near. His eyes glided right over the Clones, however, and fixed on a single figure standing alone on a mat, performing a slow exercise.

Anakin strode over to the edge of the mat and stamped his foot on the edge, twisting it a few inches just as the other man’s foot came back down from a stretch. He slipped. At the last second he caught himself, turning on the spot to regain his balance.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan spoke calmly, as if nothing had just happened. As if his friend wasn’t glaring at him with rage and disdain.

“A duel,” said Anakin, in a tone that brokered no argument.

General Kenobi’s face tightened slightly. But he nodded graciously and summoned his lightsaber to his hands, drawing backwards towards the opposite wall and raising his blue blade in a low Soresu opening.

Skywalker waited only half a second before launching himself at the other man in a blur of blue light and red-hot anger.

Cody, watching from the wall, clasped his hands behind his back as he watched the two Jedi spar at bewildering speeds.

Dizzying swirls of colliding blue light. Last-moment maneuvers, a blade hot as a sun missing moving limbs by inches. Skywalker always on the offensive. Kenobi always giving ground.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened slightly as his entire body trembled under the weight of a blow that could have removed his head from his shoulders had he not blocked it; his own serenity seemed to shrink in the face of Anakin’s fire and desperation.

There was a blur of motion, and Skywalker stood triumphant as Kenobi crashed to the floor with the younger man’s saber an inch from his chest.

Obi-Wan stared up at his friend. “Solah,” he whispered.

For a moment more, the scene hung suspended. The lightsaber burning close, too close, to Obi-Wan’s vulnerable body, Anakin looming over him with anger in his eyes.

Then Anakin turned and stalked out of the room, leaving his former Master on the floor with a faint scorch mark on his pale tunics.

“Sir.” Cody strode over to his General immediately and helped him to his feet, watching him wince, feeling a surge of helpless anger at the nagging realization that he had never anticipated a time when his General would be hurting because of Skywalker. “Sir.”

“Cody,” the Jedi said wearily. “I need to get up to the bridge.”

“You need to see Hoop,” said Cody, referring to the 212th’s medic.

Obi-Wan shook his head. “No. We’re still two days out through hyperspace and we need to find a way to make contact with the ground troops on Ryloth before we go barging in.”

Cody clenched his jaw but assented, knowing that there was no dissuading his General, not now. He had just one more thing to say.

“General.” He waited until Kenobi looked at him. “You threw that fight.”

Obi-Wan inhaled slowly, a look of what his Commander recognized as pain — grief — flickering behind his blue eyes. “Anakin needed the win,” he said quietly.

The second time Anakin Skywalker stormed into the training bay, everyone moved aside to watch even before Obi-Wan had turned around to greet his former apprentice.

Men from the 501st and the 212th, thrown together on this joint mission as if to both aggravate and soothe the hurt of Ahsoka’s departure, stood side by side and watched as their Generals flung themselves into the fight as if lives depended on it.

As Kenobi let Skywalker take the offensive. As he let Skywalker come to the edge of victory again and again and then held him off at the last second.

As Anakin’s rage grew, as he began to resent Obi-Wan for dragging the battle out and denying Anakin the victory he craved and deserved. Holding him back as always.

As for the second time Kenobi threw the fight in a way that Anakin didn’t notice.

Letting him walk off with his rage dispersed for awhile, the relieved and triumphant victor, while the bruised and shaken loser climbed to his feet and went back to work with an air of gravity around him. As if Obi-Wan had absorbed the weight of his friend’s anger and carried it like a shroud.

Maybe he did.

The third time Anakin confronted Obi-Wan, he won by punching Obi-Wan in the face.

The fourth time Anakin confronted Obi-Wan, he won by burning his leg from hip to ankle.

The sixth time Anakin confronted Obi-Wan, he won by pressing his foot down on the other man’s throat almost to the point of unconsciousness.

The eighth time, he won by knocking Obi-Wan’s lightsaber from his hands and driving him back against a wall with his own saber at Obi-Wan’s neck.

“You have to stop,” Hoop said.

Obi-Wan shook his head. “He... needs this.” A hiss escaped his lips as the medic dabbed bacta along the abrasion above his eye, the bacta he had tried to say he didn’t need.

“He needs a therapist and an ass kicking,” retorted Hoop, disregarding standard respect. He didn’t care about protocol in general, and certainly not when his General turned up every other day — usually dragged in by Cody — with bruises and cuts and strained muscles.

Obi-Wan only shook his head again.

Cody, Rex, Hoop, and many of the others had hoped that the battles on Ryloth would serve as a good outlet for General Skywalker.

They did.

But it wasn’t enough.

Fighting what felt like a futile war for the planet’s freedom, being back on Ryloth yet again, and the gaping hole in the 501st where Ahsoka had once stood only seemed to drive Skywalker’s pain upwards. And for Anakin, all emotions led to rage, eventually.

He could not stand the depths of his emotions, the dark days, the low times. If he was not happy, he chose rage over sorrow.

And there was so much sorrow.

There was a two-day reprieve after the campaign on Ryloth. Temporary victory had been purchased yet again with the blood of the natives and the GAR, and the 501st and 212th departed for another campaign halfway across the galaxy at once.

And for two days there was time to rest and think.

And then Anakin stalked into the training bay again. Not finding Obi-Wan, he waited for him, and as soon as the older Jedi entered the room, raised his lightsaber in an Ataru salute.

The thirteenth time Anakin challenged Obi-Wan, they dueled for over three hours, and both fell exhausted to the ground.

The nineteenth time, Anakin left Obi-Wan with a leg broken in two places. Cody had to physically restrain Hoop — and himself, frankly — from jumping General Skywalker and throttling him.

The twenty-eighth time, Obi-Wan’s guard slipped, and Anakin’s saber drove straight through Obi-Wan’s thigh. A mirror image of the wound Dooku had inflicted on his other leg, a lifetime ago it seemed, back when they had been on the same side.

Were they still?

Anakin’s face had dropped with shock at the injury, and before any of the men could react, he had picked Obi-Wan up in his arms and rushed him to the med bay.

And then the Council called to speak with Kenobi privately, and Anakin’s rage and hurt against them for their role in handing his Padawan over to the authorities rose up again like a serpent reading to strike.

The thirtieth time Anakin challenged Obi-Wan, he fought with his left hand, as if taunting his Master that he was still superior.

The thirty-sixth time Anakin challenged Obi-Wan, the older Jedi fought back, taking the offensive just long enough that it seemed he would be victorious — and then something in Anakin’s face broke. Grief and dismay were revealed in the cracks of his wrath, and Obi-Wan retreated again, and then fell.

The fortieth time Anakin challenged Obi-Wan, he was met with silence.

Anakin stared, his saber already lit in his hands, as Obi-Wan stood up slowly from where he had been meditating.

He dragged himself to his feet like a man on the verge of collapse, but he was as irritatingly graceful as ever, composed, serene. Anakin’s hands tightened on his weapon.

“Well?” he prompted.

Obi-Wan said nothing.

He looked down at the floor, and some of his burnished, ruddy hair fell over his eyes, concealing his face from view. Anakin waited impatiently. A strange feeling rose inside him, something nauseous and uncertain, and he did not want to know what it was.

“Well?” he demanded more aggressively.

Obi-Wan swallowed hard and looked up at him.

And Anakin was struck by how small his Master looked.

Shorter than him by a few inches, yes, but somehow that larger-than-life quality that hung about the man had fallen away. He looked tired. Beaten, humbled, hurt — like a child, like a man driven to the edge and then over it without anyone pausing to take notice of his fall.

His blue eyes were shattered by unshed tears.

Anakin recoiled.

“I can’t,” Obi-Wan croaked. His voice was tight as a wire, strained with the effort of holding back tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Anakin. I... I’m too tired to be your emotional punching bag today.”

“Obi-Wan—” said Anakin, not even knowing what he was going to say, and stopped there.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan repeated. And he sounded it. Looked it. Was dripping remorse into the air like a sky about to storm. “Please. If this is what you need, I can keep doing it, but I just need today. I need a day to breathe. And — and if you’re —”

A tear trickled down over one cheek and into his beard. Then another.

Anakin was watching with his expression frozen between anger and shock.

Cody leaned forward as if about to spring. Rex’s hand settled on his shoulder.

“If you just need more time, I’ll give it to you,” Obi-Wan whispered. “But if you’re angry enough to strike me down unarmed... do it. I don’t — I don’t want — I can’t —”

Cody jolted under Rex’s grip.

And still, Anakin’s saber blazed in his hands, casting Obi-Wan in blue light, reflected in his shining eyes.

“I can’t,” Obi-Wan said helplessly.

Anakin hesitated.

Conflicting emotions ran across his face one after the other, grief chasing pain chasing anger chasing despair chasing rage, like shadows passing over deeper waters.

He raised his saber a little higher.

#and that there is an ambiguous ending #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars #my writing #prompt fill #commander cody #captain rex #501st battalion #212th attack battalion #ahsoka tano #the wrong jedi #Anakin has issues #obi wan has issues #someone hug them #long post #very long post #very very long post

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alfredosauce50 · 3 years

Text

From a past life [Yandere vampire! Romania x reader]

Synopsis: For centuries, he waited for your return--your rebirth. So when he finally learns of your whereabouts just outside of Wallachia, he rushes to meet you in hopes of becoming what you both used to be. But he runs into a predicament when he learns you're in a relationship with a man, a pesky human mortal by the name of Daniel. He'll do anything to get rid of him, even if he has to play dirty. He made a promise to you that he would find you for the rest of your lifetimes, so God forbid that he breaks it. Wordcount: 3, 813 The reader is referred to as she/her.

A trip to Romania had always been on your bucket list. Your boyfriend was just as excited to go, but he wouldn’t have been if it turned out to be the last trip you'd ever go on with him.

Today was when you would visit the highlight of your itinerary. On the Transylvania side of the border with Wallachia, and nestled in miles of rolling hills, was Bran castle. The awe-inspiring fortress told one of the most famous tales of old as Count Dracula's abode. Or at least, it was rumored to be as it fit the description of it.

Needless to say, you were dragging him around the estate to admire anything and everything that piqued your interest or served as a potential photo spot. “Oh, hurry up, Daniel! This is where he slept!” Scrambling closer to the grand bed, which was certainly framed with more wood than needed, you leaned in behind the red rope that fenced off the artifact. Then, you flashed him a wide grin.

He returned the gesture with a tender smile of his own. “I'm as old as this castle, kicsim. Let me take things in slowly.”

“You're only three years older than me. I don't think you have the right to call me little or yourself old.” Flattening your lips at that, your frown melted away as quickly as it appeared.

“But look! Dracula's sheets and mattress. Though it would make more sense to say it was Vlad's... The guy he was based on. Hmm, but that wouldn't make sense either.”

The man rubbed the nape of his neck with a soft laugh. It was no doubt he shared your enthusiasm, but your unapologetic passion always made him fall harder than he already had. “Yep. I believe he was imprisoned here. I don't think he'd be getting the master bedroom.” He appeared from behind and rested himself on your head as you placed a pistol grip on your chin.

“Even then, I can't imagine him sleeping so soundly after sticking so many sticks up people's--” Two strong arms squeezed around your waist to make you gasp.

“Ah-!”

“Okay! What do you say we go down to the gardens for a walk, hm?”

And that was exactly what the two of you did. Skipping out in front of him, you held onto his hands and swung his arms. “I'm gonna go down to the pond, okay? You can enjoy this place nice and slowly like the old person you are.”

This was the greenest garden you ever had the pleasure to stroll through, even the tea house blended in with its moss-covered roof. It only emphasized how ancient this castle really was, and something about it delighted you in ways you couldn't articulate.

“Alright, kicsim. I'll see what nice flowers I'll add to my hair.” Daniel scooped the pink blossom from his hazel brown bangs and placed it behind your ear. “When I do, I'll come get you. Don't let any vampires find you before I do.” Shooting you a wink at that, you pecked him on the nose before running off.

Who would have thought those words would ring truer than he intended? Several miles away, slept a man who was as old as Bran castle. His name too was Vlad, though he never earned such a fearsome reputation by impaling his enemies. Instead, he kept a low profile and dedicated his long, neverending life to finding someone.

Every restless night, she was what he dreamed of since her passing.

When I go, promise me you'll find me again.

Promise me.

Fluttering his eyes awake, they glowed a blood-red in the darkness of his bedroom. They drooped with a tiredness that never seemed to go away no matter how much he rested.

Sliding off the mattress, he folded the flaps of his robes tightly around his body before making his way into the halls. Every corner of this humble countryside cottage he called his home was enshrouded with shadows, and not to mention the thick coating of dust caking the top of every shelf, couch, and tabletop.

He hadn't cleaned this house for centuries. His will to try withered away through the years in his lonesome, but he was patient. Peeking through the gap between the curtains of his overgrown hair, his irises shrunk as the blinding daylight poured into them through the drapes of his living room window. He could feel it in his dead still heart.

Something had changed.

Out there in the world scorched by the sun, was something even warmer. And it was so familiar, so tender, he could not mistake it for anything else, or anybody else for that matter.

She was nearby, and the thought filled him to the brim with a joy so potent, tears of relief welled in his wide eyes. He had waited hundreds of years for this moment. For her return. Her rebirth that would usher in his own.

The prospect was so invigorating, he felt as if his heart began to beat again. He never felt so alive. Scurrying back to his bedroom, he sat in front of his vanity to access his appearance. He had to look presentable before meeting her, hadn't he? A bedhead like this and nightwear would simply not do.

Especially when he hadn't cut his hair for at least twenty years.

Giving his long locks of strawberry-blonde a thorough comb, he let it fall straight down to his lower back. With a few quick snips, he shortened his bangs by a few inches to give the impression he had some sort of control over an otherwise uncontrollable mane of hair.

As he shed himself of his robes in exchange for day clothes, a white dress shirt paired with dark plaid pants, one singular thought repeated in his head like a broken record. As morbid as it sounded, it was more of a Godsend than anything.

Death was never the end. Not for her, and not for him. Or rather, a new beginning.

But it didn't start the way he imagined. Following her sweet scent to the gardens of the famed Bran castle, he found the smell growing more and more pungent, albeit confused. It was mixed with another's, tainted by the stench of a human male. His irises thinned to slits, and he tensed up all over. How could this be?

Hiding behind a tree, he peered over the side to confirm his suspicion.

There she was, her beauty as pristine and untouched as the last time he loved her. For just one second, he was over the moon. But his euphoria was short-lived when he saw that she was with a man. Kissing him, even. Even though it was just on the nose, any further down her face would have caused him to start an apocalypse.

That insignificant, trifling, and scheming little creature. He was about to reap what he sowed. How dare he take his place? It was him she was meant to with, not that pesky mortal!

Whipping his head to the front, his eyes went round with disbelief and his breathing grew ragged. An unfathomable ache spread in his chest as he dug his nails into the bark. How could he have let this happen? It took every shred of his willpower to keep the waterworks at bay.

His throbbing heart was also weighed down with a pang of heavy guilt. To allow another soul to be this close to her was a grave disservice to the promise he made. But that didn't mean he couldn't undo this.

In just a few seconds, he formulated an intricate plan to carry out well-deserved revenge. To have her in his arms again, and him, out of the picture where he belonged. In the blink of an eye, he appeared behind the man and tapped him on the shoulder. When he spun around, he grabbed him by the neck and caught him in a trance with his hypnotizing, inhuman gaze.

“You will give these flowers to the nearest young woman you see. Put them in her hair and kiss her on the lips.” Opening his own palm, he materialized three peonies before placing them in the other's.

Unable to escape the powerful snare cast by a vampire such as himself, Daniel did so as told. “I will give these flowers to the nearest young woman I see. I will put them in her hair and kiss her on the lips.” He reiterated monotonously with his eyes glazed over.

Watching the helpless man saunter off, he smirked devilishly as he exchanged glances with his long-lost lover. This would hurt her a great deal, but she would only be devastated if he never did it.

You had been watching the pond, completely ignorant to the scene that was about to unfold. Little did you know, it was purposely orchestrated. Using a stick to prod at your reflection, you lingered on the ripples distorting it before glancing up. In the distance was none other than your boyfriend, and judging from the pink in his hands, he found his flowers.

So you stood up. You would have snuck up on him as a surprise, but your feet remained firmly planted on the ground when you witnessed him give it away, then flirt with another woman. It couldn't be mistaken for anything else. He was kissing her!

Frankly, you couldn't believe it. One year was all it took for him to lose interest? Blood flushed your face as bile rose in your throat. How could he? And during a vacation at that, too! Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes, but you blinked them away when you heard the light treading of feet nearby.

This had to be a misunderstanding. Right?

Spinning to the source, you found yourself staring at the most peculiar man you had ever seen. He carried a delicate parasol to shade him from the sunlight. Combined with his pasty white skin, it was almost as if he was one of the very mythological creatures the country was renowned for.

He smiled gently, almost understandingly.

“Are you alright, domnișoară? I have a spare handkerchief if you'd like.” His alluring voice was as bewitching as a siren, but his mere presence brought you unspeakable comfort. And yet, he was nothing but a stranger, an odd one at that, so you were at a loss to realize that all it took for you to gravitate towards him was for your eyes to meet.

“I'm okay, thank you. But I couldn't possibly accept something like that. I mean, I don't know you...” Waving your hands at the man apologetically, you took the opportunity to scan him up and down.

As if he walked right out of a fairytale, he oozed prince-like charm. His clothes were traditional and refined, but that long, silky hair of his was certainly a rare sight--rare but breathtakingly beautiful. It gave his character untold notions of grandeur, mystery, and an inexplicable impression he was ancient.

But that couldn't be, not when he didn't look a day over twenty.

“What do you mean, you won't take it? It's yours.” He pulled out a small piece of fabric from his sleeve. Placing the finely embroidered cloth into your palm, he never gave you the chance to object. “It would be rude to regift something, so you'll have to keep it forever.” Mischief curled at his lips, and you couldn't help but laugh a little.

“Alright, alright, you got me there.”

You dabbed away the moisture before breathing out a sigh.

“I'm sure you're a very nice person, but I can't bother you more than I already have. Thank you, again, Mr. Vampire.” If it weren't for how heartbroken you were, you would have been mortified. Being pitied by a Romanian local was never part of your plan.

Just when you were betrayed by Daniel, he appeared like a knight in shining armor. If only you could forget what happened between you and your boyfriend. Otherwise, you would be bragging about meeting a vampire in Romania for as long as you could talk.

“Mr. Vampire?” He lifted his head before revealing a pair of sharp fangs in a grin. Now that caught you off guard. “You don't see me calling you miss human--and I have a name, thank you very much.” As he placed his gloved hand on his chest to playfully feign offense, he bit back another smile at the sound of your amused giggling.

Despite what happened a few minutes ago, talking to this actor was making you feel better already.

“And let me guess, is it Alucard?” You shook your head. “Or is it Vlad? You can't possibly call yourself Dracula looking like that.”

He blinked incredulously, then curved an arm over his face as if to cover himself with his non-existent cloak. “How did you know?”

“That your name is Alucard?”

“No, Vlad.”

“Okay, close enough. It was nice meeting you, Vlad, but I have a stupid boyfriend to scream at.” At the mention of that, you looked like you were on the verge of tears again. “All I'm hoping is that he's still my boyfriend after this. If only he were as much of a gentleman as you.”

He reflected your distress in a frown, and you would have been surprised by how much this apparently bothered him. But you already walked off. So he offered one last niceity before you strayed too far. “Good luck with your boyfriend.”

“No promises.”

He let those two words affect him more than he intended. Needless to say, he moved on quickly to watch you run to the unsuspecting brunette. Soon, his anguish was staved off by the sight of you shoving him back a few steps.

What looked like a one-sided argument broke out, and all the poor, confused man could do was just that--be confused. Shortly after, you stormed off, and he jogged behind, desperately calling your name.

A sinister smile cracked at Vlad's lips, and his irises glowed red. That little thing had no idea what was yet to happen to him.

That night, Daniel took you to the Brașov city hall for dinner. The beautiful buildings surrounding a fountain were as traditional as they were clean. Too bad your zeal was burned away by your anger. In the few hours in the hotel before, he barely managed to soothe it by explaining himself. A given, considering his explanation made no sense whatsoever.

He couldn't remember flirting with a woman.

“I think we could share a pizza. Are you okay with that?” Lifting his gaze to meet yours, you only turned away to stare out the window into the endless night. Your spaciness was deserved on his part, but little did he know, it only had so much to do with his wrongdoings.

The eccentric local never left your mind. After all, he gave you something to smile about with his whimsical kindness.

Vlad must have been an entertainer, a virtuoso at that, but his actions never came off as ingenuine. To be frank, you were drawn to his sincerity, and even looking for him subconsciously, wishing that he could magically appear because you willed it.

If only Daniel could be just as sincere.

“I must be okay with a lot of things.” His face fell. The same sorrow from when he was at the hotel room returned, but you couldn't care to give it any attention. “Like you pretending you didn't kiss someone right in front of me because you don't remember. I'm not stupid. Who else would have long hair tied back and flowers in their fringe?”

Daniel knitted his brows so tightly together, creases formed between them. “... I know it sounds like I'm lying, but I swear to you I didn't do it. You know me, (F/N).” At this point, he hadn't the foggiest what to say to appease you because he simply didn't do it. “I promise. All I'm asking is for you to trust me.”

“You promise?” You fumed.

There was only one thing you hated more than a liar.

“I trusted you, Daniel, I really did. But how could you ask me to trust you after I talked to that girl? She remembered it, so why can't you? Did you think I was that crazily into you I could let anything slide?” The biting truth silenced him, but it was the sound of you choking back tears that broke his heart.

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom to think this over.”

He had no way to argue with you, let alone the heart to when it was just broken and crushed to a thin slab of flesh. What if he really did kiss someone, and miraculously forgot?

“When I come back, I better not see you kissing anybody again.”

Standing up at that, he watched you leave with a defeated expression. Then, he folded his arms across the table and buried his face into it. There was no way he could fail that, could he?

What were the odds of kissing someone again when he had absolutely no intention to? The chances were dwindling at zero as he kept his head down. Unless supernatural forces were at work, nothing could get him to budge from sitting at this table.

But even he couldn't count on the world of the mundane to save him.

Sitting a few tables away was the exact opposite of mundane. When the front door slammed shut, he stood up and walked to the customer with their head down. While all the men in the establishment wore their hair short, his was long and flowing like time itself. There was something other-worldly about him. Something ghostly in the way he walked.

With every step he took, his feet never seemed to touch the ground as if he was floating. And his pale complexion was just as macabre as how he carried himself.

Not a minute passed, and Daniel found himself standing outside by the fountain. With absolutely no recollection, he somehow left the restaurant and wound up here in the festive courtyard. As shock paralyzed him from head to toe, the only thought that occurred to him was this. What in the hell was going on?

Rather than sitting head down in the warm restaurant, he was out here, chilled by the biting European cold. Couldn't he have at least remembered the transition?

In front of him was the same woman he supposedly flirted with in the gardens. And judging from the blush on her cheeks, he just threw away all his chances at making up with you.

“Listen, I... I don't know you. Forget me. Forget this ever happened.” Daniel trembled, feeling a chill run down his spine as he staggered back a few steps. It was like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. There was just no sound explanation for this when this situation wasn't sound at all. Whatever it was, this was clearly a case of sabotage.

And like hell he was giving in to whoever that masterminded it.

He ran back inside with a fearful kind of urgency. Rushing back to the table he unwillingly abandoned, he froze when he saw you marching towards him down the aisle with murder on your mind. But death was too lenient a punishment. It would grant him a clean slate, a new beginning from a past life of unfaithfulness.

So he was splashed with a glass of red wine instead.

As the crimson liquid soaked his hair, it spread over his shirt like blood. After you saw what he did, the last shred of hope you didn't know you had died, squelched out there on his clothes for the world to see. A chorus of gasps was heard from every corner of the restaurant. Unbeknownst to the patrons who murmured amongst themselves, it wasn't just any lover's quarrel they were watching.

Daniel's breath hitched as he struggled to process his mortification. Behind you stood the very gentleman that tapped him awake, but he never made the connection between him and his misfortunes.

And perhaps, it was better that way.

After leaving your boyfriend for good, Vlad offered to walk with you around the city. Once again, he had swooped in to save you, only this time around, he was staying.

“So... What are you gonna do now?” He asked, casting a tender gaze your way. Before you could wrap your arms around yourself, he beat you to it and flung his cloak around your body. When you gawked at him, he only grinned toothily with his fangs.

Your cheeks reddened and you turned away. Why he was still in his vampire getup was beyond you. But seeing his enthusiasm only reminded you that you lost yours. “... Book another hotel room. Spend the rest of this holiday crying. Maybe never think of this country ever again.”

“And I'm not letting you do any of those things.” He hummed, giving you a gentle squeeze. “Why do you think I'm walking with you right now, hm? I'm gonna take you around to the best spots in Transylvania. The most haunted ones, I mean. So you can forget about going back to the hotel.”

You sighed but managed a small smile. “That's great and all, but I'm not made of money. And my stuff is all there.”

He squinted. “... Oh yeah. But after we get your stuff, we can go elsewhere, can't we?”

A few laughs fell from your lips. His generosity really knew no bounds. “Your house, then? You do realize I only met you today, right?”

Vlad closed his eyes. He could beg to differ.

“But you're still walking with me alone. In the dark.”

“Only because you saw me cry twice today. I wouldn't be mad if you killed me so I don't have to be so embarrassed.” He frowned at the sound of that, so you added this. “I was just kidding. Something about you just makes me feel... Strangely comfortable. Like I've met you before. Isn't that weird?”

“... Not really.” Reaching the top of a hill, he stared at an old castle in the distance, sitting high up in the mountains. “There's a legend about this city. Hundreds of years ago, a vampire and a human woman fell in love. She died, of course. But people say he's still around, waiting for her to reincarnate so they can be together again.”

The way he spoke was so sad, it was almost as if he was that very vampire himself. But what did that have to do with you?

“... Okay. Then do you think he'll ever find her?”

Vlad turned to you with an unreadable expression, but there was an untold fondness in how he looked at you.

“He already has.”

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