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rasoir-national · 5 years ago

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Song ask meme

Got tagged by @antirococoreaction (get some sleep, you heathen) to list 10 songs I’ve been listening a lot to lately, so unfortunately I now have to expose my gothy self for all to see. That’s like, the law of Internet.

1) “Letter from the lost days” by Akira Yamaoka and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn : in terms of pure volume, the type of music I listen to the most is always going to be the music I put on when I study. Video games music is supposed to be the best for concentration, so I revolve around a few favourites : the soundtrack to Hollow Knight (my favourite game of all times, if anyone’s curious), Pathologic 1&2, and everything from the Silent Hill series. Personally, I think the soundtrack to Silent Hill 3 is the most musically accomplished, and this song in particular is just a very heartbreaking contemplation of future and past hope, and tied to a wonderful scene in the game.

2) “Do you remember the first time ?” by Pulp : I’m mostly meh when it comes to 90s brit rock, but Pulp is the one band who never let me down. I actually prefer them when they’re sincere and vulnerable rather than blatantly sarcastic and angry, like in Common People or Razzmatazz, two songs I love but will never move me the way DYRTFT does. Despite the fact that this is sung by a man and textually about a woman, I refuse to believe Pulp did not intend for this to be a queer anthem about being in love with someone who settled for a straight relationship. Who even uses “straight” in another sense anymore ? Come on.

3) “50ft Queenie” by PJ Harvey : everyone needs a fuck you anthem to blast when they want to walk around feeling like they’re untouchable. This is mine. Got catcalled ? Had a bad day ? I just put this on and headbang to the idea of me being a giant smashing people as I roam the street. Also PJ Harvey is the sexiest rocker of all times and that’s a fact.

4) “Sparks” by Faith and the Muse : another damn sexy song, and one of my most consistent favourites. It had shown up in my most listened to spotify playlist every year without fail since 2016. I tend to favour the more “artsy/world/whatever” side of the goth genre, so this is a permanent tie between this and the entire Dead Can Dance, This Mortal Coil, and Cocteau Twins discography.

5) “Sari Sari Raat” by Narmeen Niazi : a “disco” song inspired by South-Asian traditional music, sung in Urdu, that prefigures what the entire New Wave will be like ? Yes please. I wish I was more knowledgeable when it comes to South Asian music, but I’m slowly making my way through it. Interesting to know that sounds and techniques that have been hailed as “revolutionary” in western mainstream music have been part of Souh and East Asian musical tradition for literal centuries.

6) “La ballade des pendus”, poem by Francois Villon, sung by Serge Reggiani : there’s a large tradition of french singers adding tunes to old french poems. Here, we’re going waaaaay back, as Villon is one of the oldest french poets whose oeuvre was preserved. This particular ballad is from the point of view of hanged men on the gallows. It wouldn’t be french if it wasn’t vaguely gross. I’ve got an entire playlist worth of the same material. In that spirit, I’d like to remind everyone that my mom sang me old french songs when I was a kid, one of which opens with the line : “King Renaud comes back from war holding his bowels in his hands”. So if you’re wondering where all of...this *gestures at entire self* comes from, there may be something there.

7) “A better son/daughter” by Rilo Kiley : I spent the last 2 years heavily depressed, but trying to get better, and this is my catharsis song, the one is play when I need a good cry that also makes me feel better and hopeful. This song is for me forever associated to wandering around the psychiatric ward, thinking of the people I let down, how hard I’m trying, how they might not see it, and whether or not there’s even a “better” for me. Reader, there was. This is a song for the times you are convinced you won’t live through the year, but you’d like to think that maybe, maybe, there’s a chance.

8) “That’s how I got to Memphis” by Tom T. Hall : I actually listen to a lot of country music, probably because Western is my favourite film genre aside from Horror. This one is a bit super nostalgic for me, as french singer Eddy Mitchell recorded a french version of this song with different (and might I say, much more elaborated) lyrics which I listened the shit out of when I was a kid, but which has been so tied to traumatic memories that I stopped being able to listen to it when I was a teenager (that’s why I’m not linking it, but you should give it a listen). So I was very happy to discover there was an original version, one I could listen to without reactivating my PTSD. Tom T. Hall’s intonation on the last “Memphis” of the song breaks me everytime.

9) “Yamore” by Salif Keita and Cesaria Evora : absolute classic. I listen to a lot of West African music when I study as well, especially at night, when I need a reason to stay awake. There are so, so many versions of this song, but this one remains my favourite, although I quite like Gambari’s version as well. Salif Keita is in a permanent rotation with Rokia Traoré’s first album, Mayra Andrade and basically everything by Ali Farka Touré. Highly recommend checking him out if you’re not familiar and you like instrumentals.

10) “No Choir” by Florence+the machine : Florence’s last album is my favourite from her, and its conclusion is just the perfect note to end on. For someone who is so good at turmoil and passion, Florence captures the simplicity and fragility of happiness like no artist I’ve ever heard before. Hand to god, I listened to the entire High as hope album every single day last year, as my mental health was getting better and I was measuring the path I’d walked. I will be happy when Florence makes another album, but also kind of sad, because this feels like such a perfect ending point for her career, the storytelling of her personal struggle, that happened, for a period of time, to parallel mine. Wow, this got personal. Anyway, ily Florence.

This list ended up more diverse than I thought ! I was afraid it would make me look like a monomaniacal darkling, but my tastes seem to have widened a bit, which is good.

As for the tagging... God, do I even know ten people in real life ? Ok, i’m tagging @seitosatoko, @oh-and-this, @saintjustitude, @fanfeline, @ghostplantss, @pilferingapples, @antoinethejust, @desmoulins-suggestions and everyone else who wants to do it. Sorry if you already got tagged by someone else, again, I’m new here.

#personal stuff #music #god i love music so much

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frantabulous · 6 years ago

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Songs of the week (?)

So I wanted to be more active and I listen to a ton of music, so I figured I’d start listing my top 5-10 songs each week? Along with why I like it and such, really a song rec cause ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lesgetit ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

(uhhh btw I am not like a music professional or anything like that I just go by what sounds nice so please don’t be like ‘uM a c t u a l l y’ when I’m just going by what I hear and feel)

1. Thanks by Seventeen

Ok I LOVE this song and I’ve literally spent the entire week listening to it on repeat, I legit spent an evening just watching live stages of the boys performing it. It’s easily my favorite seventeen song and the one that made me wanna stan. I love the vocal line verses and how the rap verses fit into the song. I like the instrumental, the guitar parts and the simplicity of it but the way it builds to the chorus. This song is easily one of my favorites from 2018 and I can listen to it when I’m sad or happy or whenever.

2. What Can I Do by Day6

I honestly bought this song just this week because I couldn’t get it out of my head. A certain someone @koalapilikseu really showed me this song and I’ll just be enjoying my day when BOOM it’s stuck in my head again. I really like everything about the song tbh. It starts out funky with very beginning and I always get thrown off because the chorus is so smooth and has such a nice flow. One of my favorite parts is the accidentals/key change (idek if that’s correct but it SOUNDS DIFFERENT) in the pre-chorus. The chorus itself is literally perfect to just bop to and it’s also in my range soo I can sing along ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I like how the song progresses and really it’s just a bop. Like, it ain’t that deep, issa bop. 11/10 would recommend.

3. Mixtape #1 by Stray Kids

I feel like a lot of people sleep on this mixtape of the three stray kids have released so far, that or I just missed the hype cause I stanned then later. Anyways, it was the first one I really listened to and I really love the message of it. It’s a softer song but it’s still such a bop and I legit will listen for years.

4. Fool by Winner

This song is my go-to when I feel like shit and I love it. I really don’t know what it is about it but it’s just such a good song. My fave winner song, 10/10 would recommend.

5. I Won’t Let You Go by Got7

I WISH THEY’D RELEASE THIS FOR PURCHASE ALREADY. I legit listen to it at least once a day I love all the vocal lines and it’s just such a fuckin bop. Beat out the New Era for my fave japanese release by Got7 and that’s saying something cause damn I love the New Era.

6. Rooftop by N.Flying

I had only barely heard of N.Flying when this song was recommended to me and I honestly cannot stop listening to it. It’s such. A good song. Love the moving parts beneath the vocals. I’m legit listening to it rn it’s easily one of my favorites.

7. Getting Closer by Seventeen

This. Fucking. Song. So I’ve been stanning Seventeen for a few months now and I had gotten a pretty good idea to their sound and became accustomed to it but then this song literally hit me like a truck. It’s so different but it’s still really fuckin good. I love the rap parts, the choreo. The duet parts, especially Jun and Joshua’s, are s o good. The way their voices fit together is so nice and just ug h imagine not stanning Seventeen. And the damn hook, that’s the part that got me, everytime I head Seungkwan’s part I get about 20 years added to my life. Another song I would kill to have released on at least spotify already.

8. Baby Don’t Cry by Exo

(Ik it’s a universe gif but I couldn’t find anything slkghslghsg)

I got this song stuck in my head on like, Tuesday, so I bought it (yes I still buy songs on itunes like a loser cause I can’t pay for spotify) and I literally listened to it on repeat for 4 days and it never left my damn head. Like, I’d listen to something else and it’d just,,, come back. Anyways issa bop and great for when you feel like absolutely sobbing.

#seventeen #exo #day6 #stray kids #n.flying #got7 #getting closer #svt #baby dont cry #winner #skz

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o-dasaku · 6 years ago

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i was wondering if you could explain the descriptions on your fgc posts and how they relate to the characters? i'm v interested

oooo for sure

don’t you (forget about me) > don’t you try and pretend, it’s my feeling we’ll win in the end.

this one’s kind of obvious, the back half of the lyric is my brot3 tag for blamtina - they’re altogether hopeful kids that go through some (a lot of) shitty times. they’ll come out on top in the end, they’re sure of it.

here comes the sun > here comes the sun and i say, it’s all right.

it’s a metaphor!!!!!!!! dani’s the sun, you fools!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t want to say that santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany, but santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany. i have no doubt she hooked up with her fair share of beautiful ladies, but she definitely didn’t date - i don’t think it’s because she was waiting for brittany to dump sam (okay she was, but not so they could be together again), i think she genuinely just didn’t feel super comfortable with it - she never really dated brittany, they were best friends and then they were girlfriends too and santana doesn’t want to leap into that minefield for the first time with just anybody.

enter: daniella perea, struggling musician who picks up a job at spotlight to help pay the bills and gets along with everybody, which is fucking rare because 90% of that diner’s staff are broadway divas in waiting (and santana) so people take notice and santana doesn’t want to like her, but she does. she really does.

so moving on from britt is hard and it’s scary, but it’s alright. she has dani. they’ll figure it out.

creep > i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.

i almost picked like twenty different lyrics here because it’s a Very Them song, but i feel like this speaks very well to their characters: this lyric is rachel in a nutshell, she doesn’t just want to the best, she wants to be perfect. it speaks to brody because it’s the antithesis to him: he doesn’t care to be perfect, he just wants to be himself (who, lucky him, happens to be very talented).

sidenote: i think brochel really work on that level, rachel challenges brody to want to be better while brody can remind rachel that being less than perfect is perfectly okay. i’m still sad about how they treated him.

never can say goodbye > though i try and try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show.

listen, i hate to draw riverdale/glee comparisons, but quinn’s veronica lodge. you want fire, cheryl bombshell? sorry, but my speciality’s ice. quinn wants to be cold, wants to be this untouchable ice queen but-

she just isn’t (just like veronica, funnily enough). quinn fabray feels so much and isn’t that just the worst? i don’t think quinn wears her heart on her sleeve the way so many characters on this show do, but she feels things very strongly, much to her own annoyance. whether or not the world sees isn’t really up to her either, as much as she wishes it was.

(on the riverglee comparisons: santana is cheryl, puck is reggie and sam is archie. i know people cast finn as archie but ehhhh. i don’t have anything super solid on anyone else, but rachel is probably betty and kurt is probably kevin (i’m not saying that because they’re both gay, more “i exist solely to prop up betty/rachel when needed”). jbi is evelyn from the farm and i will hear No Arguments on that.)

being alive > i’ll always be there as frightened as you to help us survive being alive.

i’ll be honest, there is an infinitely more kurt line in this song (someone to crowd you with love/someone to force you to care/someone to make you come through) but um, this is literally one of my top 3 musical theatre songs and that lyric is one of my absolute favorite lyrics ever, musicals or otherwise.

but this line does relate to kurt (and blaine, i guess- this song is clearly meant to implicate him- for the first time, i really know what it means) well enough. i know there’s a fuckton of kurt and death meta but i don’t claim to know him well enough to make sense of any of it so we’ll look at this very shallowly - i think kurt experiences life quite differently to the normal person, and we can owe that to his mother’s death or the long term bullying or whatever tickles your pickle, but he does seem a little... removed, i think. i don’t think he’s afraid to be alive, but i do think he has a long list of reservations about being alive. i think that’s where blaine generally works for him, because blaine is so alive - even if he’s scared to death about it (see: sadie hawkins, the slushie incident, literal depression), sometimes.

i’m not here to shit on any ships, but i do wish i shipped klaine more. oh well. i’ll always have s2.

i feel pretty/unpretty > i was told i was beautiful, what does that mean to you?

i know this is a quinn line (and a very good one at that), but i find it interesting when i apply it to both of the girls. quinn and rachel are both very beautiful, though in clearly different ways - and they both have trouble believing that. or more accurately, quinn finds herself beautiful but not her self.

anyway. i wonder if quinn’s parents ever called her beautiful, before she was quinn. they seem incredibly shallow, even if judy develops away from that - i have a headcanon that lucy was very close with their pastor (not...in a creepy way jdsdlaks) and he was pretty much the only positive interaction she had with any elders until after quinn was a thing but ANYWAY he always told lucy that she was a beautiful person but only tells quinn that she looks lovely. that informs a lot of this performance (especially this line) for me. anyway. whatever.

so to rachel: her brief interactions with her fathers make me think that she grew up being told she was beautiful quite often, but then her peers are always telling her differently - i have no doubt that places more esteem in her father’s opinions, but i’m sure that being told two different things would confuse the fuck out of a kid. quinn was likely spearheading the “crazy berry is ugly” craze in their freshman year, so. i don’t know. the what does that mean to you? is an interesting question for that line of thought.

being good won’t be good enough > i’ll be the best or i’ll be nothing at all.

please, she said emphatically.

everytime > every time i try to fly, i fall; without my wings, i feel so small.

listen. what a marley mood.

it’s all coming back to me now > there were things i’d never do again, but then they’d always seemed right.

rachel Fucks Up A Lot. we been knew. i do think she learns from a lot of her fuck-ups (not all, see: leaving nd for cabaret and then leaving funny girl for that’s so rachel), but she did genuinely think she was doing the right thing a lot of the time (see: telling finn about drizzle’s true paternity and robbing puck and quinn of that opportunity) and i don’t think she’d change much, if she had another chance - she just wouldn’t go repeating the bare majority of fuck ups.

hand in my pocket/i feel the earth move > and what it comes down to, my friends, is that everything’s just fine, fine, fine.

listen, considering this is their proposal song, i would’ve hoped for something a bit more meaningful. but i do think that there is something to the simplicity of this song, - brittany and santana are happy. they have no issues this season (outside of britt’s bridezilla tendencies) and as much as they’ve always been the type to get their feelings out via song (see: landslide, songbird, mine), they’re definitely at a point where they can just. talk about their feelings.

their song is simple because they are too, finally. what it all comes down to? they’re fine, fine, fine. :P

human nature > see that girl? she knows i’m watching, she likes the way i stare.

another song i almost picked like, five different lyrics for lmao. while the others spoke nicely to characters, this lyric is quite indicative of their mid-s3 relationship (mercy is still w shane, sam’s trying to push in on that) and uh, i think this is an unpopular opinion. so. hang tight, kids.

while mercedes and sam were certainly attracted to one another, i think there’s a few more things at play here: sam likes being in a relationship, knows that he and mercedes could be good together and he’s trying to recapture being sixteen again, so dating the girl he’d been embarking on something with is a pretty great way to do that. mercedes? i think she likes the attention, likes actually being noticed. she likes the way he stares, basically. (i’m dropping lyrics into explanations now, sue me.)

crazy/u drive me crazy (you guys are all on notice for letting this flop, btw) > tell me i’m not in the blue, that i’m not wasting my feelings on you.

marley’s spent all episode being warned against jake, but i think it’s interesting that she’s basically seeking him out here and asking are they right? his response leaves something to be desired (tell me i’m the only one you’ll see) but at least it’s a conversation they’re having? it does speak well to marley for the rest of the time she’s on the show - she’s best when talking her issues/concerns out (see: her eating disorder v her wanting to stay abstinent, neither end well for her but she seems more at peace with the latter) while jake is. jake.

(i love jake always!!!!!!!!!!)

and finally, need you now > guess i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

i changed this like, twenty times. the alternative was their ship tag (and i wonder if i ever cross your mind/for me it happens all the time), but i think this speaks a lot more strongly for their characters than that does to their relationship. puck and rachel are both very all-or-nothing characters, but 99% of the time they’re going to pick all. it fucks them over a lot of the time, but i don’t think they regret it much.

#this is. so long #i might update it as new ones are posted but WHO KNOWS #never ask me things i ramble too much #answered #Anonymous

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wefuckinghatecartoons · 7 years ago

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My thoughts on SVTFOE S3

(For sake of simplicity and so I have some good things to say I’m not gonna really be talking about Battle For Mewni, just the rest of S3. Comments under the cut

Stuff I Liked

The Eclipsa/Meteora Plot

Eclipsa ended up being a very interesting character, who has an interesting relationship with the others. The concept of Eclipsa, Moon, and Star trying to find out who Meteora is and what happened to her and Meteora’s backstory are very cool ideas and in my opinion should’ve had way more screentime.

The Ludo Episode

My single favorite episode from Season 3 was “Ludo, Where Art Thou?” and I still think it’s an amazing episode. Since Ludo is my favorite character out of SVTFOE and I wasn’t fond of how he acted/was treated in Battle for Mewni I was expecting to hate this episode but it was so nice to see how great the episode is and Ludo on track to conquer his personal issues himself. I could talk for much longer about that episode and if you want me to let me know and I will.

Stupid Stuff I Didn’t Like

The Jokes

I can not comprehend why this show feels it has to pad so much time with lame jokes and then rush all the cool parts. Why did we need all that Pony Head arriving at St. O’s stuff that took time away from Meteora’s screen-time? Why did we need that scene where Tad talks to Kelly during the finale?!? These scenes aren’t funny and more importantly they’re filler, taking time away from the good parts and breaking the pace of the more serious moments; they are in almost every episode of S3 and it really frustrates me, because when the show isn’t cracking lame filler jokes every minute it’s pretty good, BUT when it does interrupt the episode by spending time on lame filler jokes it feels like a “fuck you” to anyone who really cares about it. I feel like I constantly need to not care about the events and characters in order to find those jokes funny. My two possible explanations

1) They wrote a good episode and then realized it needs to be a comedy so jammed in random jokes to still count as a “”“comedy”””.

2) They are short on budget and need to pad time away from the complex/action scenes.

Either way I’m not really satisfied with this and it seriously needs to stop.

Filler Episodes

Okay, I made a graph for this one. Before we start

Green- Necessary ep

Yellow- Unnecessary or about an Unimportant/Unnecessary plot line

Red- Probably totally unimportant, could’ve almost completely done without it.

Note: Just because an episode is Yellow or Red doesn’t mean it’s bad (just like being green doesn’t make it good) BUT these Yellow and Red episodes are taking screentime away from the Green episodes. Meteora and Eclipsa deserved more screentime and there were too many episodes that took away from that

Important notes

I counted the Tom stuff as filler because it’s not really as important to the story as his amount of screentime wants you to think. Also, wasn’t the point of his episodes in S1 and S2 to be okay with not dating Star and then be okay with being friends with Marco?

The Ludo episode is multi-colored because it’s not very important to S3 but important to the series as a whole, as an established character through S1 and S2 and shown to extend relevance in BfM, it was important we knew he wasn’t dead.

Red and Yellow episodes can still have some importance, but if its just one or two small events to explain something and the rest of the ep doesn’t matter I wouldn’t mark it green.

I counted the Squire-Marco stuff as filler too because it either is underdeveloped or takes too much time. I wouldn’t have minded more Marco squire episodes to really dive into how Marco feels but we didn’t get that but still got multiple episodes about it.

What is Kelly even doing here? Wait no this one deserves it’s own point.

What is Kelly even doing here?

I can not come up with a single word to describe Kelly, she seems to defy personality totally. She is so empty and void of defining traits I should be impressed. Everytime she was onscreen I rolled my eyes because the writers would have to make something up to justify her being her. Ultimately she really doesn’t do anything all season but pad time (and she brings Tad who hits you with the surprise filler monologue! Impressive, really).

Also what does Kelly do? She seems to enjoy sparring with people so she must like fighting, and in the intro she has a giant sword! Okay! She has a giant sword she uses to fight! Got it! But wait, now her defining combat trait in the finale is having an absurd amount of swords that she throws? No giant sword? Whats the point?!?!?!

Final Thoughts

S3 was a huge drop in quality from S2 in my opinion and if S4 doesn’t improve idk if I’m really gonna stick with it through S4. I really wanna see this show back in its glory but it really needs to cut the filler and lame jokes and let me get emotionally invested in the story. I want to care but it seems like SVTFOE doesn’t want me to care and instead wants me to laugh at the wacky antics that interrupt serious moments. Consider this scene, and how awesome it is, versus how lame the Pony Head part in the middle is.

youtube

#mod z #svtfoe #meteora #eclipsa #ludo #svtfoe criticism

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onestowatch · 3 years ago

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Phangs Is Searching For the Beauty in Everything [Q&A]

This past year has changed a lot of things. Your state of mind, outlook on life, maybe the way you take care of yourself mentally and physically, the list can go on and on. For a lot of musicians, this past year changed the way that they write, where they draw inspiration from, their recording process, who they work with, so on and so forth.

Last year we covered Phangs’ debut album, Who’s Gonna Break Your Heart Tonight?. We dove deep into his world of self-questioning, mental stability, and purpose, which he then penned into music as an emotional outlet. Through his music, he created a sanctuary for his own vulnerability. In his latest EP, I Love Everything, the emotions change. The EP stands as a reminder that life is short and life is good. There are so many things going on in the world today, and sometimes you need to take a step back to realize what you have in front of you.

We had the pleasure of catching up with Phangs and submerged into what this past year of writing looked like.

Ones to Watch: Take us through the writing process behind I Love Everything. What ultimately inspired you?

Phangs: Honestly, COVID and quarantine was what pushed me to wanting to make a fully collaborative collection of songs. I found out quickly that collaboration is something I genuinely crave. And that’s not even just for music. I just enjoy creative people. So being away from everyone was tough for me. I got depressed and overwhelmed by everything. The moment I decided to fully throw myself into this project, I just felt more human. So I guess the process of writing these songs was more so just about finding joy for myself.

You’ve been steadily dropping tracks from the EP all year, tell us a bit about your first single, and the track that welcomes us into the EP, “Product of the 90’s.”

Well, when I truly think of me at my happiest, a giant piece of that is my childhood. Specifically, the culture that surrounded my upbringing, the lack of decisions I really had to make, just overall simplicity. So, I made a song about that and then tied it into how much being a ‘90s kid is kind of a brain fuck. because we were really the last generation that was born to no world wide web and we literally grew up alongside the internet. Also, having Phoebe Ryan on the song was a bullseye, to me. We hadn’t met, prior to the song, but our mutual friend Bonnie McKee heard the song and immediately said Phoebe was the person for the song. And when the queen of pop music says something, you listen! haha

What’s the story behind the name of the EP, I Love Everything?

It’s a reminder to the version of myself that I was sinking into during quarantine. Nobody is truly all good or all bad. There’s beauty somewhere in everything, and I wanna remember to look for it. That’s the reason these songs even exist.

Is there an underlying message behind the EP itself?

Yeah, just again, that there’s beauty out there. Even in the worst times. Even in a pandemic. Even with wild politics. You can find beauty if that’s what you recalibrate the lens that you’re viewing everything through.

Which song is your personal favorite on the EP and why?

Oh man. That’s tough. Maybe “A Hurt Like That.” My childhood hero was Matt Thiessen, and I’m lucky to call him my friend now and have gotten to tour the country with him a few times. So having him on that song was a dream. And honestly, it rips live. Probably my favorite to perform, as well.

Which song was the most fun to write/record?

Easily “Digital Age.” My co-writer/producer, Justin Amundrud, and I originally sat down with acoustics, thinking we’d write a calm downtempo song. We tried to force that for like 20 mins then decided to make a track that felt like the complete opposite idea. I think we wrote and recorded “Digital Age” in like 45 minutes. It was just some honest thoughts with a hook that felt applicable. Having LFO hop on that one was insane for me. Their song “Summer Girls” was my ultimate childhood summer song.

This EP is a bit more upbeat than your album from last year. What changed?

True. I guess I write the kind of songs I mentally need, myself, when I personally need them. It’s all circumstantial and from a genuine place wherever I am when I sit down to write. Seems like I needed these songs for now.

It seems that everytime we see your name on socials, it’s another sold out show. Tell us a bit about your EP release event and upcoming tour. What excites you the most?

Haha yeah, it’s crazy! I’m lucky to have people that care about the stuff that I make. This EP release show is special because it’s at the new Gibson Garage in Nashville and I’m also releasing a merch line with a custom designed guitar through Kramer, which is under the Gibson Guitar umbrella. It’s insane to even say that again right now haha but the show is going to rule! Lots of guests and surprises too!

What are you hoping this EP and upcoming shows do for you? What goals do you hope to exceed?

I try not to get too far ahead of myself. I’m just trying to make songs that connect to people that need them. That simple. And I feel like that goal is being met, so overall, I’m thrilled that this is what I get to do for a living. Music, to me, is a service industry and I’m just trying to make sure I’m serving people the best I can.

After this EP, how do you hope to be perceived as an artist on an all-around scale?

I guess I just want to be perceived as someone who takes the experience of music seriously, rather than taking myself too seriously, if that makes sense. I just feel like everyone is so concerned about perception lately, and all I want to do is be the artist that takes care of the people that need their emotions serviced. I want to be the person that allows people to feel what they need to feel, when they need it most.

#phangs #i love everything #interview #pop #alternative pop

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thevoilinauttheory · 7 years ago

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Max’s RP Advice

That no one asked for.

I lied, I’ve gotten asks like in this in the past - mainly when I was still playing World of Warcraft.

“How do you keep up with so many characters?” “How do you remember everything about each character?” “How do you separate yourself from your characters / how do you keep IC out of OOC, especially with the amount of characters you have and how much you RP?”

How do you keep up with so many characters?

This one I actually get quite a bit when chatting with people over the game or discord. I have hundreds of characters spanning different games and tabletops, each with a different personality and lifestyle. It can get overwhelming to someone who isn’t used to having so many characters.

First of all, the key to keeping up with all of your characters and remembering everything about them: take notes. It sounds boring. Taking notes can be a hassle. But when you have so many details on a fictional character, sometimes it’s easier to take screenshots or make a Word / Wordpad document on them. In World of Warcraft, I had an add-on which displayed RP information for everyone to see. It’s actually very handy. (For those of you who are familiar, I used TRP - though I liked the simplicity of XRP). It would display details such as at a glance characteristics, their eye colour, hair colour, scars, armour - you could go into a lot of detail. And I did. The add-on yelled at me half the time because it was so long.

Your character is not only an extension of your imagination, but a person as well. To make a believable character, and to enjoy yourself doing so, you have to treat them as you would any other person. They have feelings, likes and dislikes, allergies, style, they have preferences...and you need to make sure you know what all of them are. Allergies, Max? Really? Really. Maximiloix is deathly allergic to most edible fungi...meaning that if someone I’m RPing with decides to cook, my character has to make sure that there’s no mushrooms - or take a chance that may kill him. Allergies could literally be the line between life and death for a character; and hey, even if they aren’t deathly allergic to anything, most people are allergic to pollen. Coerthas has cedar trees - and is very well known for them too. Cedar is the number-one cause of seasonal allergies in the USA; itchy eyes, runny noses - I got sent home from school when I was younger because the nurse thought I had pink eye; only to find out that it was just allergies to cedar pollen. Stuff and details like this are crucial to not only character building, but world building as well.

How do you remember everything about your characters?

Let’s say you’re not a note taker, fine by me. Make a folder somewhere in your documents specifically for your character - anytime you see or hear something that reminds of that character, save it. Take screenshots.

It’s easiest to remember a character when you put a part of you in them.

DO NOT MAKE A CHARACTER BASED SOLELY OFF OF YOU AS A PERSON. I will go more into detail as to why not below.

But put a little bit of them in you, a small detail. Maybe you have depression, maybe you’re trying to cope with it. Make a character with depression as well, but maybe they have it for another reason entirely; maybe their personality differs greatly from yours. Have them come up with their own ways of coping. Something like this not only ties a bond between you and your characters, but also teaches you how to react in an unforgiving reality. People you learn to care about as friends, you have an easier time remembering their preferences and stories. Become friends with your character, don’t become your character.

How do you keep IC out of OOC? How do you separate yourself from your characters?

I know quite a few people who have made this grave mistake in RP, myself included.

Do not make a character that is exactly like you, or is supposed to be you inside of the game, when it comes to RP.

Video games are meant as an escape - but sometimes, people take it a bit too literally. They will put themselves into their character fully, they will become their characters and their characters will become them.

If you haven’t seen the problem with it already: You are melding your reality and your fantasy - this is the quickest way to not only failure of character building but the quickest way to lose RP as a means of escape. RP becomes your reality. This is what we are trying to avoid.

If you make a character that is supposed to be you, things that are meant for IC interaction suddenly become OOC. Your partners will become confused with your reactions OOCly and if something offensive is said, could end a friendship. Most of the stories I hear are of someone falling in love with their RP partner - because their characters are together. They haven’t fallen in love with the player, but the character themself...because they don’t know the difference. I’ve seen many RPs end horribly because of this.

And this is where I bring up my own experience, in WoW of course:

I made a character as an experiment: myself. I wanted to see how many people truly liked me for me - since it seemed like I was hated in the “real world”. And, honestly, it started off swellingly - I made a lot of friends, and I was loved by everyone around me. But slowly, over the course of a year, my character turned into everything I hated about myself at the time. A chronic liar, my depression, my paranoia, my illnesses, my anger and my fears. Everytime I was asked to play as them, I hated myself more and more. And then I couldn’t do it anymore. I killed them off. It hurt me more to play them than any of my other characters.

So how do you do it, then? How do you make a character without making yourself?

It’s a lot harder the first time you try than it is afterwards. I use the above method, I pick something about myself - just one thing - and build the character around that. It can get dark sometimes, or it can make a very positive character. For me, Maximiloix holds what I think to be the darkest part of my own story.

Maximiloix holds the regret and anguish of believing that I am the cause of the death of one of my dearest and closest friends. It’s been a long while since his death, but roleplaying as Max has helped me cope with it. Not only has RPing as him taught me how to cope with my own emotions, but it’s taught me how to be patient with people, it’s taught me how to understand others - specifically the elderly, and what it’s like to hold hatred in your heart for someone of another race...and to move past it. This seems really deep for something as carefree as RP, but RP is an escape for people - and if it’s an escape for you, you might as well make it helpful to you too.

Danny has my depression and anger; Mayve holds my love for others, while still being socially inept; Lothaire was based around my social anxiety, and my tendency to become obsessed. All of my characters have a part of me, while remaining incredibly different from myself. Max and Lothaire are workaholics, they never spend a moment resting - vacation? What’s that? Mayve is confident, she’s proud, self-esteem is only part of the issue...not all of it; she’s emotionally strong, and physically stronger. Danny is a troublemaker, he finds himself in situations I wouldn’t even think of being in daily; he’s skilled and nimble. They’re all parts of me, but they are all people too.

And so are your characters. Let them talk to you, let them confide in you like you would a friend; but separate yourself from them. At the end of the day, RP is a means for escape, it’s not reality.

#rp advice #long post #ooc

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healthyworthyofficial · 4 years ago

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How To Eat Healthy And Save Money

This web page might comprise affiliate hyperlinks. Any commissions earned will assist my web site to stay free without end. (Full disclosure).

How to eat wholesome and lower your expenses.

We all wish to eat wholesome and lower your expenses, however how? So many individuals say they'll’t eat wholesome as a result of it’s too costly, I hope to dispel that delusion and present you, in the long term, it's the similar, if not cheaper. And learn all of the feedback on the finish of the submit with reader’s money-saving suggestions.

100 Reader’s Tips: How To Eat Healthy, Save Money AND Stay Low-Carb Below are the TOP 100 suggestions from followers of Ditch The Carbs on Facebook, web site, Instagram and Twitter for his or her recommendations. ULTIMATE LOW-CARB BUNDLE: Do you wish to begin low-carb FAST? Perfect for newcomers with every part you want to Ditch The Carbs … and stay your finest life! CLICK HERE.

Simplicity. Keeping meals easy makes life straightforward. It saves you from shopping for costly components, it saves your time and is much extra sustainable. Think of straightforward meat, greens and good wholesome fat. It doesn’t must be any extra sophisticated than that.In the long term, it's cheaper to remain wholesome. Less medical payments, fewer dietary supplements, much less medicine, much less day without work work, longer life expectancy and extra pleasant life.Add up your present funds. Be practical with how a lot you spend already. Add up all of the snacks, takeaways, coffees, drinks, cafes, chocolate bars and so forth. You can’t say one thing is dearer should you aren’t practical about what you might be spending every week already. Include ALL meals and drinks.Eating wholesome low-carb, finally, you'll find yourself consuming much less, much less snacking and fewer grazing, much less spending on meals.Shop the perimeter of the grocery store and keep away from the aisles and costly comfort ‘foods’. Generally, shops are set out with the recent produce, then the chiller cupboards with meat, dairy, fishmonger and delicatessen.STOP BUYING junk ‘food’. There is not any diet in sodas, muffins, biscuits, sweets, and nearly all of snack meals.STOP BUYING juices, power drinks and fizzy drinks. These are an entire waste of cash. Drink water. Take a water bottle with you. Fill it up because the day goes on and everytime you see a ingesting fountain.STOP BUYING bread, rolls, and bagels. There is not any diet in these, they're excessive in carbs and you'll really feel hungry once more in an hour or two.STOP BUYING comfort meals and microwave meals. You are paying for the comfort of a manufacturing facility making your dinner.STOP BUYING cereals. Cereals are primarily based on low cost grains, extremely processed, excessive in carbs, and fortified with synthetic vitamins. We are the one tradition that bases their breakfast on grains, historically used to fatten cattle.STOP BUYING takeaways. It is a lot dearer to purchase takeaways than yo cook dinner it your self. McDonald’s for a household of 5 is definitely $30. Rather than a takeaway, you possibly can purchase a pre-cooked rotisserie rooster, a bag of salad, some cheese, components for a dessert and nonetheless have some cash left over (for darkish chocolate).STOP BUYING snack bars, muesli bars and different excessive sugar treats. These could also be marketed as wholegrain goodness, however they're an costly excessive sugar snack with low cost grains.STOP BUYING sweets, confectionery and sugary chocolate. Even if they are saying they ‘contains real fruit juice’, sugar is sugar! Your physique and your tooth will simply see the sugar as sugar.Start having enjoyable and experiment with cooking. Don’t make it sophisticated. Just throw some components collectively and see what you provide you with. Get your kids concerned. Cooking is the primary useful factor we will do for our well being. The extra you cook dinner, the extra it would be best to cook dinner. You will wish to know what goes into your meals and you will notice it's cheaper to cook dinner at dwelling than eat out.LEFTOVERS ARE KING! Try to make additional dinners that may be saved for lunch the following day. Making rooster drumsticks? Make a double batch. Making sausages? Buy one other packet and cook dinner them for lunch on the similar time the oven is on.While the oven is on, cook dinner a dessert or additional meals for the week. Freeze them for once you come dwelling late and don’t have time to cook dinner. It will cease you from shopping for costly comfort ‘food’.Buy on-line to keep away from the advertising traps and ‘specials’ which lure you into shopping for extra. The supply cost will prevent petrol/fuel and you'll save $$$ from all of the objects you've got prevented shopping for.Do you really want that new pair of footwear, prime (or another pointless clothes merchandise) … Get priorities so as. Get practical about the place you spend your cash. Don’t make the excuse you possibly can’t afford good meals when really you might be selecting to not.Freeze something that's about to run out. Use the frozen fruit in smoothies, and the frozen greens in soups, sluggish cooker meals. Any meat about to get near its expiry date, freeze that too and simply defrost it on the day that you'll eat it.Pack your fridge and freezer properly so it runs effectively. It ought to be neither empty (so you might be cooling empty air which warms up shortly) or overpacked (so the airflow is hindered).Just as a result of it’s natural, doesn’t imply it’s wholesome so go away it on the shelf e.g: natural muesli bars, natural cereal, natural chips, natural dried fruit, natural sugar, Trade Aid sugar.Shop with out your kids should you can. ‘Pester power’ is a widely known advertising instrument which will increase your purchases.Compare costs per 100g. Some meals seem cheaper however are in smaller packets or particular person parts which bumps up the $/100g worth.If you possibly can’t afford free-range or natural produce – don’t! The individuals who need assistance probably the most can’t afford these. We all know that going free-range and natural is best for our well being, however don’t let this cease you from shopping for higher. You can nonetheless purchase wholesome meals cheaply, simply not natural and free-range.Buy cheaper cuts of meat. The fatty meat, the rooster with the pores and skin on, rooster on the bone, drumsticks are literally the very best cuts of meat. Enjoy consuming the fatty meat once more, and let others purchase the lean costly cuts.Buy eggs in bulk. If you possibly can’t afford free-range, then don’t. An everyday egg remains to be an enchancment on packaged meals, extremely processed carbs, components and preservatives.Buy meat in bulk from the butcher or grocery store when on particular. My butcher will give reductions once you purchase just a few kilos of meat, then packages it up for me in 500g luggage.If you don’t need the trouble of going to a butcher – don’t. Go to the grocery store and purchase the very best yow will discover. Make it straightforward on your self so long run you possibly can proceed, relatively than setting unrealistic expectations which aren’t sensible for you. Just don’t purchase their processed meat.Consider cease shopping for dietary supplements or nutritional vitamins when you begin consuming actual meals that comprises actual vitamins.STOP BUYING costly, processed protein powders. Eggs are an ideal low cost supply of protein and a nutrient-dense little buddy.Can’t afford recent salmon or recent tuna? Go for canned salmon and tuna so as to add to salads or take to work. Avoid those canned in vegetable oils reminiscent of sunflower or canola.Don’t purchase pre-packaged salad luggage. Buy a wide range of salad greens and make your individual bag of salad combine each few days. Whole lettuce appears to last more than the bagged combine.By lowering your packaged items, you'll scale back how a lot garbage/rubbish you produce, so can reduce down on rubbish luggage you purchase.Start a vegetable patch. Any small area will do, or perhaps a few pots on the windowsill.Don’t be fooled by ‘specials’. You save much more by not really shopping for it!Mince/floor meat is among the most cost-effective cuts of meat, and probably the most versatile. Make burgers, paleo scotch eggs, stuffed peppers, meatballs or meatloaf.If you've got a native greengrocer, nice. They appear to provide the finest bargains of recent produce. Again although, should you don’t have one shut by – don’t. It remains to be higher to purchase recent greens from the grocery store than by no means.Compare recent, frozen and canned costs of greens and fruit. For instance, frozen berries are usually cheaper than recent.You can’t evaluate shopping for subsidised, coupon saving, low cost processed meals with actual meals. You will not be evaluating like with like. So purchase common eggs, common meat if that's what your funds permits.Tinned/canned tuna is a good staple to maintain within the pantry. It’s low cost, an ideal supply of protein and omega Three fat. Add some mayonnaise or add to a salad for a straightforward meal.Sign up together with your native cut-price butcher for his or her electronic mail alert system. This method they'll warn you when there's a worth reduce, then refill and cargo up your freezer.STOP FOOD WASTAGE!! Seriously consider how a lot meals leads to your bin.Do not purchase any meals, till you use what you've got already.Try and postpone visiting the grocery store/butcher/grocer for 1 extra day. It’s wonderful how one can make a meal from leftovers and scraps.Challenge your self to provide you with a brand new recipe from what's within the cabinet/pantry already.Plan forward and plan your meals, even whether it is for 2-Three days so you aren't pressured to go and purchase and costly resolution or comfort meals.Cut again on treats reminiscent of chocolate and wine if the funds is tight. Limit them to as soon as every week/fortnight then you should have extra to spend on good high quality meals.USE YOUR SLOW COOKER. This got here out loud and clear. Using your sluggish cooker will will let you purchase the cheaper, powerful cuts of meat. Put the sluggish cooker on within the morning, and you'll come dwelling to a stunning tender meal within the night. What might be simpler?Try consuming organ meat. We are the one tradition the place organ meat is seen as in some way undesirable. There is a meals snobbery hooked up to organ meat. Organ meat is the most affordable, but most nutritious meat there's. Every different tradition values the organs and values your entire animal. As the world’s inhabitants is ever rising, we must be extra environment friendly with every animal that's raised for meals. Honour the animal nostril to tail.Buy shops personal label funds milk and dairy. Branded milk can add an enormous chunk to your funds.Keep frozen greens available as they're cheaper typically than recent, and it'll cease you visiting the grocery store and overspending once you run out (what number of occasions have you ever visited for 1 merchandise and got here dwelling with just a few luggage?).Buy in season. No one desires to spend $6 on an avocado when they're out of season, and in the summertime they're solely $1. Buy in bulk, chop up and freeze.Buy greens in bulk, place them chopped up on a baking tray within the freezer, freeze then place in a freezer bag or container so they're free-flowing, particular person parts.Use all of the broccoli, together with the leaves and stem.Eggs are an inexpensive supply of protein. If you've got eggs in the home, you've got a meal. Omelettes scrambled eggs, fried, poached, boiled, scotch eggs …..Buy entire chickens then reduce them up and portion them into freezer luggage. A complete rooster is a lot cheaper than its particular person cuts.Pack your lunch every day. This tip alone will prevent lots of of $ £ ¥ €Use cucumber slices as an alternative of crackers. Healthier and cheaper.Only serve up for every meal what you assume you'll eat. Anything left in your plate can’t be re-used BUT if it’s left within the pot, it may be taken for lunch tomorrow.Don’t purchase pre-washed, pre-peeled or pre-cut greens. You are paying for somebody to do that for you. Keep the peelings for vegetable inventory, compost bin or worm farm.Take your individual wholesome snacks to the cinema. Avoid the buttered popcorn, luggage of sweets and soda pop.Don’t purchase pre-grated/shredded cheese. Buy in bulk then grate utilizing your meals processor and place in luggage within the fridge and freezer, able to go.Buy eggs in bulk then put them into the egg cartons within the fridge.Stick to the soiled dozen and the clear 15 to restrict how a lot you spend on natural meals.Swap backyard produce with a buddy. Organise what you'll every develop, then swap the surplus of every. I typically give my extra avocados to a buddy and get fennel, broccoli and herbs in return.Invest in your well being. Don’t see the additional cash on some meals as an additional value, flip it round, and see it as investing in your future well being and wellbeing.TIPS FROM FACEBOOK – Buy avocados in season, slice them up then pop in a freezer bag, able to throw into the blender when making a smoothie – Vera DKnow which days your native grocery retailer marks down their meat, and go to shortly after – Pam SGot spinach that’s lower than scratch for consuming uncooked? Throw it within the sluggish cooker or into your scrambled eggs – Zeb ASave the veggie peelings (so long as they don't seem to be rotten) in a bowl within the freezer. When the bowl is full, put them in a big saucepan and canopy with water. Boil then deliver to a simmer for as much as an hour. Run the broth by the colander to make fundamental broth. Freeze it in a 2 cup container so I've some available. Saves me from shopping for bouillon cubes or canned broth. I might suggest including a little bit of butter or olive oil to it earlier than you utilize it. I don’t wish to freeze it with the oil – Mari BUse what you have already got in your cabinets can actually reduce prices. Try having 5 actually low cost meals every week you retain going again to. Make sufficient of every meal for one leftover lunch or one other dinner. I hate cooking every single day – Chrissy SPlan to go to the grocery store as soon as every week, veggie store twice and the butcher for meat. It makes for an extended day however I do know am getting every part I want – Chrissy SBuy nuts from the majority bins from giant supermarkets. The nuts don’t sit for ages and are cheaper than pre-packaged ones – Zeb AI by no means store hungry – Denise EBuy beef/pork/lamb bones out of your native butcher and make bone broth – Zeb AMake spinach carbonara however load it up with cheap veggies reminiscent of cabbage then add cooked rooster and it will likely be sufficient to final for two dinners and a couple of lunches. four meals for two individuals. $Three per meal – Amanda WMake meals in bulk, portion them up and freeze for later. Saves time too – Amanda WEvery couple of months, I miss a weekly store (minus the fruit and veggie) and expend meat from the freezer and stuff within the cabinets – Chrissy SBuy butter, cheese, cream at Aldi, additionally their grass-fed meat is affordable. Buy in season and eggs are an inexpensive meal – John SWe simply stick with meats, eggs, cheeses, nuts and veggies. All meats get grilled and since it's so scrumptious, none will get wasted. We don’t get into bread making as a result of we do with out bread in any respect of our meals. If we need a bit of bread, we simply take a bit of Ezekiel bread out of the freezer. A loaf will final months. We’re into fundamental seasoning for our meals. Our meals funds isn’t too dangerous even in occasions the place the greenback has been severely deflated and it takes extra to buy objects. Keeping it easy works finest for us – Heather HI look ahead to gross sales of issues that freeze properly, like meat and butter. We have a small backyard which helps in the summertime. Peppers, zucchini, cucumber and tomatoes are pretty straightforward to develop – Cheryl VWe invested in a Food Saver so we will purchase in bulk (Sam’s, Costco, Chef Store). No waste – Tina NBuy giant portions of berries in season to freeze uncooked. Cauliflower purchased in bulk then will get chopped up for cauli rice and frozen uncooked – Denise BSince I ended shopping for packet meals we're not spending anymore. A pair on a seniors revenue. We can’t entry a to of natural F&V so purchase in season and develop a few of your individual. Freeze kale, spinach and ginger for my smoothies and spring onions reduce up for stir-fries and omelettes. No waste. Freeze leftover rooster and meat bones and maintain the ends of carrots, celery eye within the freezer till I've sufficient to make bone broth – Jenny MMake a big frittata with eggs, plenty of greens and bacon or rooster after which plenty of lunches for the week. Make an enormous bowl of coleslaw minus the dressing for lunches or stir drys – Janette HBuy a complete rooster and portion it up. Use the scraps, organs and bones to make broth – Buck BKeep it easy is less expensive. Meat, eggs, fruit and veggie isn't an excessive amount of. Avocado and coconut cream will not be an excessive amount of however butter might be, so refill when it's low cost – Chrissy SFarmers Markets are your finest buddy!!! Here 2 giant luggage of goodies $5 – Michelle LMeal prep, plan for the week and purchase seasonal – Tillie SMake a grocery record and stick with it as a lot as doable – Cavemomma UghBuy greens that may final lengthy and retailer them properly!! – The Health Conscious GluttonMake your individual tomato sauce, mayo, BBQ sauce, dried herbs, sauerkraut – Kahtleen CI've been avoiding some “special” components that some low carb cooks swear by. I don’t see the purpose of shopping for almond flour if I'm fantastic with out having bread merchandise in the home. I did splurge a bit at this time at Wal-Mart and obtained some coconut oil as a result of it was on sale for $3. My husband and I've observed that simply doing the low carb food plan is saving us cash. We will not be spending it on processed meals. We purchase meat, dairy, olive oil, and veggies, that’s it. – Mari BHave a ‘bulk budget’ constructed into your weekly funds on prime of the conventional procuring, often an additional $10-$15 – Chrissy SHoneyville has a publication and you will get 20% off coupons periodically, then purchase in bulk and portion it up for the freezer – Carolyn Have a field of natural greens delivered to your door. It is a set worth, cheaper than the native retailer. It is a problem to include every part into meals and the youngsters get to attempt new issues – Kathleen CAfter a yr of consuming LCHF, we discover we're consuming much less whole meals so we will afford higher high quality general. We additionally eat out a lot much less which saves $$ – Buck BWant to spend $10 on 1kg of meat? Buy hearts, ox or sheep. Not solely are they nutritionally wonderful, however they're additionally low cost and attractive. Chop ’em up and fry with beef broth, pink wine and Italian herbs. Throw in your favorite veggies, and voila! – Zeb AGrow your one herbs. Rosemary, mint, thymes and so forth all develop properly in pots, at little or no value – Zeb AIN THE LONG RUN, YOU WILL END UP EATING LESS AS YOU ARE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR APPETITE, RATHER THAN IT CONTROL YOU!CLICK HERE: to make use of my recipe index to plan your meals. Or make life straightforward … and use my meal planning service. Please go away a remark together with your suggestions and concepts on “How To eat Healthy And Save Money”. If this text has triggered you to make well being a precedence, however you don’t know the place to start out, be part of us at Ditch The Carbs PRO. Get IMMEDIATE entry so you can begin TODAY!

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dear--charlie · 8 years ago

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Dear Charlie,

Where to begin? I suppose I could quote a Lewis Carroll line from, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.” By saying that I should start at the beginning…but I find that the beginning is very seldom where the real story starts. You see, what plagues my mind is not the beginning, or even the end, but the messy middle section that has a reoccurring theme of constant bad luck. Now, I have been through a lot, and I don’t mean that lightly or as means of saying that you should take pity on me… I am fully aware that other people have it far worse than I do in other parts of the world and even in our own country. None of that is the point though….the point is, my entire life, I have been having to survive through things that would otherwise kill the average person…mentally, emotionally, and yes at times even physically. To say that I am fine would be a lie, and tk say that I have never said it would make a a hypocrite. What has happened to me, will not stop me from being who I am or reaching my dreams… I will live on, and thrive. I know too many you only focus on surviving…existing… its a beautiful thing that they exist, don’t misinterpret my words, but sometimes they become an empty shell and never regain that piece of themselves. Given my circumstances, if I were to solely do that, all those who have put me through my hardships or pushed me down when I asked for help, would be winning…. that is something I simply cannot allow. I will admit, with some difficulty, that some days it is particularly hard to live and thrive and sometimes even hard just to survive. Memories haunt me and while I don’t let my past define me, it isn’t something I can easily let go of. Recent events have made those memories more, difficult to bear. I’m a chronic insomniac, sleepless nights are no stranger to me….however, these days I sleep less not due to insomnia, but not wanting to remember…to see it. To relive it. I know you know what that is like, Charlie. You see, I was raped by my (now ex) boyfriend, three times….due to circumstances, I kept silent about it for an entire year. A few months ago, he committed suicide because he couldn’t handle the guilt… every day I get to hear stories from his friends on how great he was. Every day that I go to work in the theater I have to see a reminder of him. I get messages from his family, explaining in simplicity that they love me and that it isn’t my fault. I broke up with him around this time last year. I told myself that despite everything, I refused to be labeled as the victim. I refused to let this break me…. but there are nights…when I break. I talked him down from suicide many times, comforted his family long before he committed it because they found out what he had done… I swore them to secrecy because my life would have been ruined if more people knew. Legally, to put it frankly, I would have been fucked…given he was a minor at the time. Despite everything, I would have been the one to be punished… It feels like I am still being punished. Every time I comfort one of his friends…every time I bite my tongue and leave their memories intact… every time I walk into the place that was once my home and sanctuary… I feel like I am being punished. Tonight, I apparently made a face that triggered one of my friends. He told me it was the same face I had made when he was with my boyfriend and I and another friend, watching a movie at my boyfriend’s house. (We will call this now deceased and ex boyfriend, Erik, for now) I had just come downstairs after changing into Erik’s clothes because I was in dress clothes from an event prior to. I recall looking at my friends briefly (Whom we will refer to as Jason and Becca or rather, Bex just for fun. “Jason” being the one I had mentioned I triggered earlier) my mask slipped for a second… at that point I had already been raped twice out of three times and Bex already knew… it was the face of swallowing done the urge to scream and cry and breakdown, the face of my skin crawling. It was brief, lasted for maybe a second at most…be for it was replaced with the most painful grin and happy expression. I say painful, because it was painful for me internally, not that I had some tortured happy face on me or anything….though I am sure it looked slightly off, since I was tired and not coping very well. Bex wouldn’t even look at me after she saw the mask slip. Jason stared but never said a word, having not know anything… It is worth mentioning that Jason gets angry about it a lot and in fact got angry with me at some point after all this… its been a very up and down thing between us. I digress, this letter has gone on for quite long enough I think. I am just having trouble tonight… I keep thinking about that expression… I keep thinking about how Jason says that he wishes he could forget my expression…but it is burned into his memory. I keep thinking how I wish I could forget too, forget everything that happened…forget it and not have to relive it everytime I think I get over it and then someone says something… I keep thinking how it’s burned into my memory too…and how, I am glad Erik is gone….and how I grieve for his family and feel guilty for being glad. I keep thinking…. and I wish I could stop.

I’m sorry Charlie, I wish I had better things to write… maybe if I get some good luck, I will send it your way.

With love, - The Girl Who Became a Phoenix

Lyn.

#dear charlie #lyn

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nbpetal · 7 years ago

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Why It Has Become A Widely Practiced Method When Elevating Chickens

Writer: Edgar Roger Among the best effectively-identified chicken coops turning into employed by merely professionals is the Amish hen coop. It has acquired an excellent mixture of simplicity in addition to efficiency of their design. It actually is built from strong wooden. So that it can handle the actual huge additional weight as nicely because the sturdy winds and even storms. It is very important the truth that supplies you've got can easily handle the ever altering weather conditions. Why Construct a Hen Coop? Publisher: James Calloway Eggs are certainly one of the various advantages of elevating chickens in your own backyard. But that's removed from the only benefit. Uncover how and why it is a good venture to build a chicken coop right in your individual yard. Should You purchase Natural Hen? Writer: Phil Tucker When you enter the supermarket, it is simple to become overwhelmed. We are sometimes bombarded by an enormous quantity of different choices, and these days there's two of all the pieces because the organic fad has hit the mainstream. Publisher: W.L. Yap These days, it is a common follow to keep up a small poultry coop at home.

Publisher: Colm Dillinger There are plenty of delivery services available to most people today; particularly there are numerous companies who are vying for our custom when sending parcels overseas. Writer: KevinMeaney Courier companies are thought of one of many most efficient delivery methods in present occasions. For instance, a customer who desires to deliver a sure package urgently can seek the help of a courier service that deals in overnight supply. Courier service helps to transport items or merchandise of various types that might be required to be delivered urgently, safely or discreetly. Writer: Paul Lancaster Courier service is vital to the operations of any firm which wants to move merchandise to their prospects. Publisher: Jen Barnum Enterprise Start changing your online business into a green one by changing a few of the small things your company does. An environmentally aware enterprise will take time to create, however you can do it, even when the method is gradual at first. We thought we'd attempt to assimilate her without the usage of a cage. The first, second and third nights Kira howled. Being a Newfie it's a protracted deep howl harking back to a mooing cow. Josh who has never been a howler determined to accompany her. We lay in bed instantly above the kitchen, ears bleeding, listening to Kira singing the hymn with Josh performing the descant. Took me proper back to my choirboy days. Kira is also destructive. It can be foolhardy of me to attempt to put in writing down the total checklist of 'issues that have been Kira'd' within the short week that she has been here. Briefly, she has scratched and chewed the kitchen door, door body and wall. She has emptied the bin several occasions. She has chewed lego, wellies, laptops and place mats. She has poohed and wee'd as if in training for the indoor defecation Olympics and has turned her water bowl over seemingly on the hour, each hour. Briefly we have now never seen anything like it. She is the most gorgeous, beguiling and gentle creature however left unsupervised she turns into some kind of one canine destruction unit on a mission. Take yesterday as an example. I returned to complete carnage after taking Angus swimming. I stood in the kitchen doorway considering, mop? I actually didn't know the way to start out the clean up operation. After I had completed I installed a big canine cage in the kitchen. Kira spent the night in it final night time and we did not hear a peep. Sue and i, for the primary time this week, slept like logs.

Since their provide can not go up immediately, costs would go up. The price of milk would witness a structural shift upwards. Overseas buyers can be appalled. After a courtroom order threw the liquor and hospitality industry off kilter, now the federal government is killing off the meat processing and leather-based industries and raising the worth of all protein foods. Such unpredictability and arbitrariness do not add to ease of doing business. And the rationale for imposing these rules is not going to stand up to any logical scrutiny. The claimed rationale is preventing cruelty to animals. But the ban on sale or purchase for slaughter applies solely to cattle, not to goats or poultry. If cruelty was the main target, the foundations would have concentrated not on the species getting used for meat however on the remedy of any livestock and poultry while they're reared, transported, prepared for slaughter and through slaughter. Gus and George were entered in a line up of 5 keen handlers, including, past grasp and hot favourite, Isla Might, a really shrewd operator with a steely glint in her eye. The boys could not match Isla and she took the trophy, Gus coming second and George a really creditable third. High marks to Barbara for her judging in, undoubtedly, the hardest class of the show! Lunch was taken because the boys ready for the correct show lessons and it wasn't lengthy before they had been doing battle within the junior gray class. First for Vickery with Gus and second for Wasimba and George, the Mighty Patou were up and operating. As regular it was a throughout in a blur with Gus going in six consecutive classes, brown, black and gray, not just for us, he was in demand. He took Wesley in the junior black male class and came second behind some previous bloke from Somerset, who was a bit too smug displaying off his first positioned rosette! The nuts and bolts of it have been that we ended up with colourful show of rosettes as the big boys Tsar and Talisker took first and second in the intermediate brown class on Friday. We also have females to watch, ten girls have now handed the eleven month stage and are mendacity round like a load of beached whales. No galavanting about from now on, we're firmly and properly on 'cria watch'. I even have a a gaggle of animals to get ready for export, however more on that when they've safely landed the other facet of the channel. So what am I doing sitting right here in front of the computer I hear you all roar! Sufficient said, now the place are my wellies?

Many house owners of yard chickens question if it's clever to introduce youthful, additional birds to an present yard flock. This text briefly discusses the idea of the 'pecking order' and the problems that may come up in combining youthful chickens with older chickens. Strategies that can be taken to make sure a easy integration in your hen coop are also outlined. Most owners of yard chickens are conversant in the concept of a 'pecking order' in rooster society. Many individuals nonetheless, do not realise the implications of including new chickens to an existing flock, whom have previously decided their spot throughout the chicken coop hierarchy. It may not be instantly apparent, but every chicken is aware of who they are allowed to dominate (these beneath them in the hierarchy) and which different chickens they must undergo themselves. Adding new chickens right into a rooster coop instantly signifies that the chickens want to establish a brand new order in the hierarchy. During this reestablishment section, combating might occur amongst the chickens so as to find out who will likely be submissive and who will be dominant, and eventually, who will be the 'high chicken'. We love to take photos every so often. Digital cameras have helped us to add the pictures on our computer systems once now we have clicked it. We may even delete a number of the dangerous pictures from the digicam. Very often we take pictures which are good but they lack one thing, generally the images develop into too brilliant whereas at different occasions the sunshine is less. As of late you even have the choice of modifying the pictures and making them perfect. You may remember of the software program packages that are available these days which might enable you edit footage simply. But there are very few people who truly know the right way to edit these pictures with the assistance of the software program. You may need heard about Photoshop. You can both obtain or purchase this software program and start utilizing it to make your photos more engaging after which you can begin promoting them via numerous web sites and at last earn cash. However do you understand how to use Photoshop. Utilizing this software program is just not a straightforward process if you don't learn the way to use it.

Publisher: andy From HD motion pictures, Tv shows to music video, the high-decision show of HD Video Converter provides you with perfect visible notion. Writer: Anthony Simon Utilizing video converters could also be actually a tough process everytime you do not know what you want to complete actually. This scenario happen a number of instances once you cannot determine that why your movie didn't even get acknowledged on iMovie installed in your Mac operated technique. Here's a Terrific Various to Switch Your Outdated 8mm Movie To DVD 2. Video Sharing Websites: Advantages Unleashed 3. Choose explainer videos to promote your businesses! Hottest Video Optimization Techniques – Know Them 5. Business Ad one hundred and one: Issues to consider When Advertising Your business Using Video 6. How can video conferencing be beneficial for your enterprise? How Quality Internet Design Can Translate to Business Success 2. Do You Want Search Marketing Services To Double Your business Earnings? Videos are at times the easiest way to grasp something at all, so give them a trustworthy shot. Youngsters of all ages have often cherished balloon animals. They're constantly successful at events of any type. Regardless of their reputation, few people actually know the historic past driving this widespread leisure thought. Who came up with the technique of bending and twisting a balloon into the form of an animal? Who invented the balloon for that make a distinction? Would it shock you to understand that balloons have been round attributable to the actual fact the time of the Aztecs? They've been the quite 1st men and women in recorded report to make balloons, as correctly as balloon animals. They'd totally clear the intestine of a deceased cat and sew it closed they'd then twist it and blow air into every twisted part, forming it into the preferred shape. As you can see, it was a quite problematic treatment. As well as, it was a comparatively ugly sounding beginning for one factor that's now regarded as enjoyment and adorable.

#alpacas #alpacas eating apples #alpacas fighting #alpacas funny #alpacas humming #alpacas mating #alpacas running #alpacas screaming #alpacas spitting #alpacas spitting on people #alpacas stuffed animal #alpacas t shirt #alpacas with hats #alpacas world #animals #chickens #finland #llamas #videos

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chuicide · 7 years ago

Text

Why It Has Turn into A Broadly Practiced Technique When Raising Chickens

Publisher: Edgar Roger Amongst the best properly-recognized rooster coops changing into employed by merely professionals is the Amish rooster coop. It has acquired an excellent mixture of simplicity as well as efficiency in their design. It actually is built from strong wooden. In order that it could handle the particular huge further weight as well as the strong winds and even storms. It is very important the truth that materials you've obtained can simply handle the ever altering weather circumstances. Why Build a Chicken Coop? Writer: James Calloway Eggs are one in all the numerous benefits of elevating chickens in your individual yard. However that's far from the one profit. Discover how and why it is a great enterprise to construct a chicken coop proper in your personal yard. Ought to You purchase Natural Rooster? Publisher: Phil Tucker When you enter the supermarket, it is easy to become overwhelmed. We are often bombarded by an enormous quantity of various options, and as of late there's two of every little thing for the reason that organic fad has hit the mainstream. Writer: W.L. Yap Nowadays, it's a common follow to keep up a small poultry coop at residence.

Writer: Colm Dillinger There are numerous supply companies obtainable to most people nowadays; in particular there are numerous corporations who are vying for our customized when sending parcels overseas. Writer: KevinMeaney Courier companies are considered one of the most efficient supply methods in present instances. As an example, a customer who needs to deliver a sure package deal urgently can search the help of a courier service that offers in overnight delivery. Courier service helps to transport items or products of varied kinds that is likely to be required to be delivered urgently, safely or discreetly. Publisher: Paul Lancaster Courier service is essential to the operations of any company which wants to maneuver merchandise to their prospects. Publisher: Jen Barnum Enterprise Begin changing your corporation into a inexperienced one by altering some of the small things your company does. An environmentally conscious business will take time to create, however you are able to do it, even if the method is slow at first. We thought we would attempt to assimilate her without using a cage. The primary, second and third nights Kira howled. Being a Newfie it's a protracted deep howl paying homage to a mooing cow. Josh who has by no means been a howler determined to accompany her. We lay in bed immediately above the kitchen, ears bleeding, listening to Kira singing the hymn with Josh performing the descant. Took me right again to my choirboy days. Kira can also be destructive. It can be foolhardy of me to try to write down down the complete list of 'things that have been Kira'd' in the brief week that she has been here. Briefly, she has scratched and chewed the kitchen door, door frame and wall. She has emptied the bin a number of times. She has chewed lego, wellies, laptops and place mats. She has poohed and wee'd as if in coaching for the indoor defecation Olympics and has turned her water bowl over seemingly on the hour, each hour. In short we have now never seen something like it. She is the most gorgeous, beguiling and gentle creature however left unsupervised she turns into some sort of one dog destruction unit on a mission. Take yesterday for instance. I returned to complete carnage after taking Angus swimming. I stood in the kitchen doorway pondering, mop? I actually did not understand how to begin the clean up operation. After I had finished I put in a large canine cage within the kitchen. Kira spent the night time in it last evening and we did not hear a peep. Sue and that i, for the primary time this week, slept like logs.

Since their provide cannot go up instantly, prices would go up. The worth of milk would witness a structural shift upwards. Overseas buyers can be appalled. After a court order threw the liquor and hospitality business off kilter, now the federal government is killing off the meat processing and leather-based industries and elevating the price of all protein foods. Such unpredictability and arbitrariness do not add to ease of doing enterprise. And the rationale for imposing these guidelines is not going to stand up to any logical scrutiny. The claimed rationale is preventing cruelty to animals. But the ban on sale or purchase for slaughter applies only to cattle, to not goats or poultry. If cruelty was the main target, the principles would have concentrated not on the species getting used for meat however on the treatment of any livestock and poultry while they are reared, transported, prepared for slaughter and during slaughter. Gus and George had been entered in a line up of 5 keen handlers, including, past grasp and scorching favourite, Isla May, a really shrewd operator with a steely glint in her eye. The boys could not match Isla and she took the trophy, Gus coming second and George a really creditable third. High marks to Barbara for her judging in, undoubtedly, the hardest class of the present! Lunch was taken as the boys prepared for the proper present courses and it wasn't long earlier than they were doing battle in the junior gray class. First for Vickery with Gus and second for Wasimba and George, the Mighty Patou have been up and working. As typical it was a throughout in a blur with Gus going in six consecutive classes, brown, black and gray, not just for us, he was in demand. He took Wesley within the junior black male class and came second behind some outdated bloke from Somerset, who was a bit of too smug showing off his first positioned rosette! The nuts and bolts of it had been that we ended up with colourful display of rosettes as the massive boys Tsar and Talisker took first and second in the intermediate brown class on Friday. We even have females to watch, ten girls have now passed the eleven month stage and are mendacity around like a load of beached whales. No galavanting about from now on, we are firmly and properly on 'cria watch'. I even have a a group of animals to get prepared for export, however more on that when they've safely landed the opposite aspect of the channel. So what am I doing sitting here in front of the pc I hear you all roar! Sufficient said, now where are my wellies?

Many house owners of backyard chickens question if it's wise to introduce younger, extra birds to an current yard flock. This article briefly discusses the idea of the 'pecking order' and the issues that can come up in combining younger chickens with older chickens. Strategies that can be taken to make sure a easy integration in your hen coop are also outlined. Most homeowners of yard chickens are conversant in the concept of a 'pecking order' in rooster society. Many individuals nevertheless, don't realise the implications of adding new chickens to an existing flock, whom have previously decided their spot inside the chicken coop hierarchy. It won't be immediately obvious, but every rooster knows who they're allowed to dominate (those beneath them within the hierarchy) and which different chickens they should undergo themselves. Adding new chickens right into a chicken coop immediately signifies that the chickens want to establish a new order within the hierarchy. During this reestablishment phase, fighting could happen amongst the chickens in order to find out who can be submissive and who shall be dominant, and at last, who would be the 'prime chicken'. We love to take photos from time to time. Digital cameras have helped us to add the images on our computer systems once now we have clicked it. We can even delete a number of the dangerous pictures from the digicam. Fairly often we take photographs that are good but they lack something, sometimes the photographs change into too bright while at other times the light is less. Today you even have the option of enhancing the photographs and making them good. You would possibly be aware of the software programs that can be found today which can enable you to edit pictures easily. But there are only a few individuals who really know how one can edit these pictures with the assistance of the software. You might have heard about Photoshop. You may either obtain or purchase this software and begin using it to make your photos more attractive and then you can start promoting them by means of numerous websites and finally earn cash. However do you know how to make use of Photoshop. Using this software program will not be a straightforward process if you don't find out how to make use of it.

Writer: andy From HD movies, Tv reveals to music video, the high-decision show of HD Video Converter will give you excellent visible notion. Writer: Anthony Simon Utilizing video converters could also be really a tough process everytime you do not know what you need to complete actually. This situation happen several cases once you cannot work out that why your film didn't even get acknowledged on iMovie put in in your Mac operated technique. Here is a Terrific Alternative to Switch Your Outdated 8mm Film To DVD 2. Video Sharing Web sites: Advantages Unleashed 3. Select explainer videos to advertise your businesses! Hottest Video Optimization Methods – Know Them 5. Business Ad 101: Issues to contemplate When Advertising and marketing Your enterprise Using Video 6. How can video conferencing be useful for your enterprise? How High quality Internet Design Can Translate to Enterprise Success 2. Do You Need Search Advertising and marketing Services To Double Your enterprise Earnings? Videos are at occasions the simplest way to understand anything at all, so give them a trustworthy shot. Youngsters of all ages have often cherished balloon animals. They are always a hit at parties of any kind. Regardless of their reputation, few people actually know the historical past driving this widespread leisure idea. Who came up with the strategy of bending and twisting a balloon into the form of an animal? Who invented the balloon for that make a distinction? Would it not shock you to grasp that balloons have been round as a result of the very fact the time of the Aztecs? They have been the fairly 1st men and women in recorded record to make balloons, as properly as balloon animals. They'd thoroughly clean the intestine of a deceased cat and sew it closed they'd then twist it and blow air into each and every twisted section, forming it into the preferred form. As you possibly can see, it was a fairly problematic treatment. As well as, it was a comparatively ugly sounding starting for one thing that is now regarded as enjoyment and adorable.

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fxkked · 8 years ago

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My inner thoughts..enjoy

xx If I could go back to a year ago and relive every second with him god I'd do it in a second I hate how much I miss him and how often I think of him I don't remember what it's like to be happy and that kills me the most God why didn't I appreciate the time I spent with him more I don't want to feel this way anymore Why would I do that.. fuck it's because I'm in love with him Ya it's just sex but I'd do anything to see him because I'm in love with him It's meaningless to him but I'm literally in love with him I just wish I could have someone I could tolerate, I can't tolerate anyone recently and I wish there was someone I could Fuck chris he's the worst person to ever come into my life Miss the days we'd eat chinese food and watch movies No one ever fucking understands If there was a painless way to kill myself I would to it without a doubt I hate how he doesn't open up to me anymore. I look at him with so much to say yet I know nothing with come out of his mouth. You used to talk to me about anything and eveything that's what I miss the most. 1:01am 12-21 I look at him and I know he has so much to say why can't you just talk to me or when will I ever let you go 1:18am 12-21 I might not be happy but I had a very happy night 12-26 10:37pm I can't believe how much I miss you every single day srill 12-31 3:44pm I'm sad again, I feel nothing, I'm so empty ur long for only his eyes to look into. When will I be okay? 1-3 9:15pm Why can't I fucking forget you the piece shit you are , why do I love you 1-4 12:07am Im getting worse by the second I need you 8:25pm 1-5 I wish I could talk to you about how shitty everything is I wish you could talk to me like a friend 1-11 10:59pm He was the only boy who made me feel a range of emotions and that's why he's will here 4:12pm 1-14 I think I need to see him to feel okay 11:16pm 1-14 I'm happy I have the people I have (Joria, Liz, bay, linds) 1:44pm 1-15 He fucks me till my legs go numb literally 5:01pm 1-15 I wish I told you I loved you more when I had the chance to 10:53pm 1-20 I'm at the point where if he let me love him I would pour everything out to him but he doesn't so I sit there silently holding it all in 1:15am 1-23 One day I'm going to look back and talk about you saying 'he was someone I dated in high school' and all these feelings I have now I won't even remeber, it's sad actually 11:41pm 1-33 I can't breath and then I need you 9:30 2-17 Everything's been so shitty fuck I wish you were home id drive over in a second 1:04am 2-19 I've gotten used to staying up late because I'm just waiting for you to text me to come over 1:29am 2-19 I knew you'd get sick of me and somehow I'm surprised 8:27pm 2-20 I want to talk to you but there's nothing to say 11:26pm 2-24 *Some nights are hard, the though of never seeing him again makes my heart drop into my stomach 9:31pm 3-5 I can't believe how sad I am today over you I wish I could go back 3:16pm 3-6 Why do I let people use me so often, I deserve the world Why can't anyone see me for the person I am I deserve I long to be held and kissed I want to be in someone's arms I want someone to see me for the gift that I am 3-14 11:43am Damn it like why the fuck do I let myself get attached to any boy that gives me affection, I deserve better, everyone fucking sucks 10:05pm 3-20 So much I wish I could say to you fuck I hate holding it all in 11:13pm 3-20 Not prepared to let you go, but I have to 12:04am 3-27 *I never learned how to let you go, or live without you 3:43 3-27 I'm having the hardest time believing I can truly make someone happy and it's because you fucked me up 4-11 10:22pm The feeling you get listening to a song and thinking about that person and wanting to badly to kiss them is an incredible feeling 10:38pm 4-22 fuck you for making me believe you loved me this was the worst fucking night in a while and it's because I really wished that was you saying it, I wish you loved me fuck I still love you 9:07 pm 5-1 I hate how I'll always care about you, even if I am with someone else you'll still be my world 11:53pm 5-1 He is still the only person to calm me down, even if he's yelling at me I can relax that's so fucked 12:10am 5-2 Haven't been this genuinely happy in a long time, forever grateful 10:16pm 5-2 Id rather slit my own wrists than be ignored 9:04pm 5-9 All of my insecurities are caused from past relationships and that's so fucked up 10:10pm 5-9 Genuine happiness what an incredible feeling 10:33pm 5-10 Scares me so much how sad I get when I don't talk to him for a couple hours 9:53pm 5-11 I don't know why when things go wrong I still want to talk to you, when I don't think about you at all anymore 10:39pm Still have urges to text you and ask to go over your house 8:55pm 5/19 *I wish I could talk to you, I wish it was 9 months earlier and I told you I loved you I wish I didn't think of you everytime I have an anxiety attack 8:53pm 5/28 I don't know why someone can give me so much love and I still feel alone and sad and it makes me miss him. I am given so much love and affection and finally being treated right and it's still not enough. Why am I so selfish fuck you're right. 9:09pm 5/30 It hurts 1:40am 6/10 Haha I'm only staying with him because I'm not ready to be miserable yet, not again, not this soon 4:31pm 6/10 I'm not happy anymore 10:19am 6/18 Living is so hard take me out of my misery 2:37am 6/22 I never learned how to breathe without you 4:16pm 6/22 I don't think the tight feeling I get in my chest when I see you with her will ever go away 11:45pm 6/25 I need to stop staying up so late for boys who are never going to answer, I'm tired of living 1:07 am 6/26 miss being touched miss your company 10:51pm 6/27 I feel like I'll never find someone that treats me right that I fully connect with 11:28pm 7/6 I'm still in love with him 9:08pm 7/9 July 2016- present I don't think I'll never not be insecure about myself, I have a boyfriend and I still don't even believe he has feelings for me 1:08 7/17 Besides that I've never felt so content waking up to his face almost every morning is a blessing, he's a blessing I've never been with someone whose so good to me, I have a good feeling about this one 1:09am 7/17 Too much left unsaid 12:34am 7/25 I've never felt this content in my life I'm so excited for the future 1:12am 7/27 So uncomfortable with myself I want to die 8:48 8/5 I really hope I stay with him for a long time, I want to marry him, I think I'm falling in love 8/10 12:29am you get so frustrated with yourself you want to crawl out of you skin but you can't you're stuck 1:41am 8/14 He finds me beautiful in times I can't even stand to look in the mirror 10:14 8/21 You hold onto things so you can remind yourself of how you felt at that particular moment because sometimes you feel nothing but pain ' I love this boy and the way he bits his nails when he's concentrating, and the scars on his stomach, and his jaw line. I want him forever he's the one thing I've been sure of I hope he never leaves me 9:05 10/2 I'm still in love with him, or maybe I'm not, I'm so confused I'm with someone who gives me the world but I still long for you, I still miss you, I still think about you, I still wish I could kiss you 8:09pm 11/3/16 Some nights I miss how messy my life used to be. I miss sneaking out to fool around in your bed at late hours. I miss being in love with a boy who didn't even know how to love himself. I miss the feeling of being needed but at the same time not wanted at all. The constant up and down extremes highs and the lowest of lows. Always on edge, never perfect, always anticipating something new. I miss those days I miss sneaking around I miss loving a boy who didn't love me back I miss the messy part of my life. 2:22am 11/21/16 I want him, but we're not right 12/6 3:21pm Don't know where to begin, I feel at times as though I'm not happy and I'm just getting by through life. I don't like my friends my school my decisions. I feel like I have never truly been happy. I am stressed out and have anxiety 24/7 and I mean it. I want to be happy I want to achieve my dreams but my anxiety gets in the way. I don't know if jake makes me happy anymore he did in the summer now there's too much he expects me to do. No ones expected anything of me ever so I can't do it I can't make him happy I don't know what he wants. I feel like I am so depressed I just don't show it. I hate school I'm dreading going back, I would rather not go at all. I think I need to do things to make myself happy but I have never done that in my whole life. I don't know how to do things for myself I just care too much about what people think to do what I want. I've never felt so lost in my whole entire life. 1/21 I wish time could stand still so I could live a moment longer than a minute. So I could hold you tight running my hands over every crevasse of your body. Hearing you breathe, your eyes scan the room, your mouth as it moves, your skin as it moves with you. Some times I don't want the moment to pass because i know once it's over it's gone and you can't get it back, the simplicity the peace is gone. Time has a way of going by too fast when you especially don't want it to. 2/7 I want to be happy. I'm surrounded by the wrong people. I'll never feel like I belong here. I'm so upset. 4/13 I want to be happy I regret so much I don't know what to od

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lonebaby · 8 years ago

Text

i am definitely losing myself and idk if it's because everyone that's been rude and annoying to me SUCKS or if I do. I'm sick of being put down by someone I call my so called friend because they live their life sticking their nose up high and believing that the value of someone is measured by the mere simplicity of grades, dialect or how fast you can learn something. sometimes they help me with complex equations and applications but I just can't shake the feeling that their words that are directed towards me feel derogatory. then there's this one who decides to slam me under the bus to feed into his public reputation and appearance. I guess it's also my fault for using shock value as a form of entertainment and comedic values but to have a "friend" say publicly they don't want to associate themselves with you and physically steps far away is annoying and uncalled for. to live their life basically through foul language and offensive humor to disassociate themselves from me in the public eye then proceed to come into my suite because "they're bored". funny how your self concerned world revolves.

this month has been a shit show. the knaw feeling of guilt because I choose to follow a different group of friends or to escape from the brewing of constant pestering, nosiness and neediness. the feeling that I will never be valued as a friend because I am not up to par to their intelligent standards or my anxiety that eats me up alive every moment that my breath takes a gasp & my choices are summarized through their advice that "I dug myself up in a hole" makes my stomach knot everytime I see them. How can I call someone my best friend if they can't see the pain and sadness of this horrible descending of mindless wander and darkness in my thoughts. how can I trust a friend who gives me such vile advice after I am meticulous about my confrontation to another human being with emotions?

why can't I let go of the simple trivial and irrelevant occurrences and comments that I face everyday. I wanted to tell (you) that my anxiety is killing me but I can't work up the nerve to say it but mask it behind it vague laughter and annoyances displayed by others. anxiety is a hidden pain that attacks my mind, happiness and physical comfort to live everyday without feeling the shakiness and layout detailed of every situation - I almost believed I would get kicked out of school or kicked off the mlc because of just how shitty my friend was - oh and lets it forget the time I tried to comfort my other friend and they said "you're trying to tell me to calm down? and not think about? lol" really funny that my mental illness and state of well being is used as a punch line as I try to be a good friend & to be fair I do follow my own advice but the fact that my mental illness was used as someone else's defense mechanism? sickening if you ask me.

nobody believes in me anymore, or knows how to handle my anxiety. I want to seek help, mental and professional help because I don't know how to let go. no matter how many times I try to seek compassion and to let something go it continues to creep back into my mind and my anxiety lingers in the quiet space of my existence.

#long post #from mobile #read more #prs #tw/anxiety

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robchallismusic · 8 years ago

Text

Composing Lyrics

All These Times:

(Concept Song)

Verse 1:

Nothing is the same,

And I am all to blame,

I cannot help,

How I feel,

I feel so alone,

Without you by me,

So lonely,

Without company,

Bridge:

I want to tell the world,

How I feel,

I want to tell the world,

I know it's real,

Chorus:

All these times,

Everything's gone wrong,

Through all these times,

We've never been strong,

Cause everytime I try to escape,

I have no luck,

And everytime I'm with you,

I just cry,

Verse 2:

Do you want to know?

All my thoughts on you?

You're everything I want,

There's tears,

Within my pain,

And love,

Within my veins,

Stop playing these games,

Bridge:

I want to tell the world,

How I feel,

I want to tell the world,

I know it's real,

Chrous:

All these times,

Everything's gone wrong,

Through all these times,

We've never been strong,

Cause everytime I try to escape,

I have no luck,

And everytime I'm with you,

I just cry,

Middle 8:

Cause I wanna be,

Stronger for you,

And I wanna be,

Bulletproof,

Bridge:

I want to tell the world,

How I feel,

I want to tell the world,

I know it's real,

Chrous:

All these times,

Everything's gone wrong,

Through all these times,

We've never been strong,

Cause everytime I try to escape,

I have no luck,

And everytime I'm with you,

I just cry.

All These Times is a song about an adventurous love interest that spirals out of control. The concept of the song is heartbreak, as I was dealing with something at the time and was struggling. I specifically chose the term All These Times as it represents the feeling of repetition and loss of control. When I wrote this song I had felt as though I was lost within my own mind and thoughts. This is referred to within the song and is also a memorable line within the song too. Using a common term of ‘All These Terms’ within a heartbreak song, it makes it relatable and reaches people on a personal level. Using an A,B,C, A,B,C, D,B,C structure for the song, it allows interest as it has a Verse, Bridge, Chorus progression, followed by a middle 8 towards the end of the song.

Verses:

The verses of this song talk about feeling lonely and only wanting the company of a certain person, it is expressing the feelings I had towards someone while I was still accepting myself. For example, in Verse 1; ‘I feel so alone, Without you by me, So lonely, Without company’. I wrote this as I only wanted the company of that certain person, and I felt lonely if I was not around them.

Bridge:

The bridge of the song describes my need to express my feelings and tell everyone and anyone how I was feeling. However while I was writing it, I will still coming to terms with my sexuality and felt as though I wanted to feel free of being hidden from this world, and all I wanted to do was express my love for this person and share my true self with the world; ‘I want to tell the world, How I feel, I want to tell the world, I know it's real’. These are the lyrics from the bridge, and as you can see I was desperate at that time to express how I was feeling at that time. This is important to understand as it is hidden within the song about the battles I was facing about accepting myself while having feelings for someone for the first time and internally feeling devastated about not being able to express myself.

The second verse tells the story about wanting to be with this person, them leading me into believing we could be, but knowing it was too good to be true. ‘Do you want to know? All my thoughts on you? You're everything I want’. Is quite self explanatory as I am saying that I want to be with this person desperately and I am trying to express my absolute interest for them, however the verse continues with; ‘There's tears within my pain, And love within my veins, stop playing these games’. This is me understanding that I have been fooled and that I have been played all along, with me realising that after wanting this so desperately, it is not going to happen regardless of how hard I try.

Chorus:

The chorus is where the main emotions come into the song. This is the point where I am expressing my feelings for the person I had fallen for; ‘All these times, Everything's gone wrong’ This is where I am expressing that although all I had wanted was to feel close to that one person, once I had felt like I got somewhere, he ended up breaking my heart and letting me down. After months of dreaming about what we could be, it was not what I had imagined at all and I ended up being lead on for his entertainment, so in literal terms, everything had gone wrong. The chorus continues with; ‘Through all these times,

We've never been strong’. This is once again referring to the fact that when we were together I thought that we would have been tight and a unit, however he ended up making me feel worse and it was never what I expected it to be and we were not as strong as I had imagined; ‘ Cause everytime I try to escape,

I have no luck’. This refers to me wanting to escape my mental state of feeling worthless and the constant thoughts about the person, and wanting to get away from the reality that I was dealing with my first heartbreak, while also concentrating on the fact that I was still coming to terms with who I was and I didn’t want to accept it at that time, because I didn’t feel like I was ready to be me. The final lines of the chorus are: ‘And everytime I'm with you, I just cry’. This is self explanatory and quite direct. Every time I was around this person or I thought about him, I just cried and wanted to get away. I felt as though I could only cry at that time because I had felt so lonely and so deprived of what I thought I truly wanted, and I had to come to terms that life doesn’t work that way, and you have to deal with things in order to grow stronger.

Middle 8:

Finally, the middle 8 is the part of the song where I understand now that nothing is going to happen between us; ‘Cause I wanna be, Stronger for you’. This is me telling him that I am going to be strong and get over this, not because of me, but because of him. This is me letting him know that I am going to make sure I get better and prove to him that I can do it, for him. However, I go on to say ‘And I wanna be, Bulletproof’. Now this is me telling myself that I am doing it for me. I have written about him so much within the song but this is my time to prove that I can overcome anything, and be bulletproof.

All These Times is a very deep and personal song to me, of which I hold to my heart and will forever and always cherish.

Fool:

(Concept Song)

Verse 1:

All I wanted was you,

But I'm torn and bruised,

Left my heart in a mess,

Full of hate and regret,

Who let the game play,

When I get hurt anyway,

Why is my life like this,

With no benefits,

Bridge:

Oh, Oh,

Why am I such a fool?

Oh, Oh,

Why did I fall for you,

Chorus:

I can’t watch you,

Love someone else,

I sit and stare,

While you don’t care,

It's like I'm not there,

It’s not fair,

But I'll share,

My all with you,

Like I always do,

Like a fool,

Verse 2:

A tunnel of love,

A battle of hate,

Mixed emotions,

It's in my traits,

Why did I fall so hard,

When I thought I'd,

Fly again,

I always mess this all up,

Always end up stuck,

Bridge:

Oh, Oh,

Why am I such a fool?

Ooo, Ohh,

Why did I fall for you,

Chorus x2:

I can’t watch you,

Love someone else,

I sit and stare,

While you don’t care,

It's like I'm not there,

It’s not fair,

But I'll share,

My all with you,

Like I always do,

Like a fool,

I can’t watch you,

Love someone else,

I sit and stare,

While you don’t care,

It's like I'm not there,

It’s not fair,

But I'll share,

My all with you,

Like I always do,

Like a fool.

Fool is a song about falling for someone who didn't feelings for me, and feeling like it is my fault for feeling that way. This too is a heartbreak song, as it expresses my emotions towards a person that I felt I had a genuine, and unique connection with, only to find out that I was wrong. The structure of the song is A,B,C A,B,C,C. This includes 2 Verses, a Bridge and a Chorus. This is a common song structure and I wanted to elaborate on the simplicity of the song by not adding too many elements to it.

Verses:

‘All I wanted was you, but I’m torn and bruised’. As I say here, all I wanted was to be with the person that I had fallen for. I used the lyrics torn and bruised in a metaphorical term, as I was not literally torn and bruised however I felt as though mentally I had been hurt.

‘Left my heart in a mess, Full of hate and regret’. I felt as though I had made a mistake for telling the person how I felt and I hated myself for believing my thoughts. I was so desperate for this person to have feelings for me that once I revealed my feelings, I instantly regretted it and wanted to turn back time.

‘Who let the game play, When I get hurt anyway.’ This is me writing about me questioning myself about why I let myself get into another situation where I fell for someone who didn’t have any interest in me at all. ‘Why is my life like this, With no benefits,’ This is me asking myself why I always have to deal with being heartbroken over someone who doesn’t love me. It is more of a frustration and expression of anger about how I always end up feeling this way.

In the second verse of the song, I refer metaphorically about the emotions of love; ‘A tunnel of love, A battle of hate’. The term tunnel of love represents a long journey of feeling as though everything's going well and working in my favour, whereas with the lyrics ‘battle of hate’ expresses the fact that it didn’t go to plan and it was not what I had expected it to be, it was not as lovely as I had imagined and it all went wrong.

Bridge:

The lyrics ‘Oh,Oh’ for this part of the song was concentrated more vocally to portray the emotions of the song, which is followed by the line; ‘Why am I such a fool?’. This is the ultimate question of the song and the centre of the problem. I am here questioning myself and asking myself why I was so fooled by this person and asking how I allowed myself to get to this point. This is also followed by; ‘Why did I fall for you’. Which is me asking why I was so stupid to fall for someone once again, and completely misunderstanding the signs.

Chorus:

‘I can’t watch you, Love someone else,’ These lyrics were written as my emotions took a turn for the worse and I had thought about my future. I didn’t want to see this person fall for anyone other than me and I struggled to deal with that realisation. I couldn’t physically watch this person be with anyone else and I only wanted them to be with me, so these lyrics are screaming with desperation. ‘I sit and stare, While you don’t care’. This is where I start to look back on the times where I would feel like they loved me but never did, and me understanding that I should have seen the signs that when I was looking at him with love, he did not feel the same way and was oblivious to my emotions. ‘It's like I'm not there, It’s not fair’. Once again I am expressing my frustration through my lyrics as I’m showing my anger of having no attention from the person, as when after I told him he started to ignore me and act as though I wasn’t even there. ‘But I'll share, My all with you’, here however I express that despite the feeling of not getting any attention from him, I will still share my everything and express my love as I always do, as I follow with ‘Like I always do, Like a fool’. This concludes the song as I have expressed I will share my all with this person, because I have already been fooled and I felt as though I will forever and always be a fool. This song is about me expressing my emotions towards someone who had no feelings for me at all, and in the end I end up hurting myself because I cannot help but love him.

Being Me:

(Style Song)

Verse 1:

What is this I'm feeling,

Is it wrong or it is right,

I'm feeling kinda different,

And it keeps me up at night,

Is this a normality,

Or is there something wrong,

This must be reality,

It's feeling kinda strong,

Chorus 1:

People say no,

By my head screams yes,

I'll follow my heart,

And I'll ignore the rest,

I'm just being me,

Verse 2:

Through all my discoveries,

I knew that it was cool,

To care and love the people,

The same gender as you,

People may look down on me,

And always judge my life,

But I'd rather be happy,

Than be forced to love a wife,

Chorus 2:

Traditions great,

It's just not my fate,

You might hate,

You're just out of date,

Get with it,

Verse 3:

Live and take,

Each day as they come,

One step at a time,

You are just human,

Not committing a crime,

Be true to yourself,

You're no less than anyone else,

There is nothing wrong with you,

It's them who need the help,

Chorus 3:

Be proud to be,

Someone unique,

It's a great big world,

And we're close to peace,

Verse 4:

What is this I'm feeling,

Is it wrong or it is right,

I'm feeling kinda different,

And it keeps me up at night,

Is this a normality,

Or is there something wrong,

This must be reality,

It's feeling kinda strong,

Chorus 5:

People say no,

By my head screams yes,

I'll follow my heart,

And I'll ignore the rest,

I'm just being me,

Being Me is a song about accepting who you are as a person, and mainly referring to sexual orientation from my own experiences. The song was written in a blues style, as we as a class were given the opportunity to do a blues show and write our own songs. The song structure is in a 12 bar blues, which consists of a chord progression of;

1 1 1 1

4 4 1 1

5 4 1 5

As this is a simple 12 bar blues, I didn’t want to complicate the lyrical structure of the song, so I decided to use a simple A,B A,B structure to follow, as it only had a verse and a chorus following each other.

The blues is a type of music which allows you to express your views or emotions, so I felt that I could use this style of music to my advantage and promote my own views and values on the LGBT community. The LGBT community means alot to me, and as I am apart of it, I felt as though I was representing the community well by raising awareness about self acceptance and love.

Verses:

The verses within this song were quite long, and told a story within each one that progressed each time into accepting yourself more and more as the song went on.

The song starts with; ‘What is this I'm feeling, Is it wrong or it is right, I'm feeling kinda different, And it keeps me up at night’ These lyrics are referring back to the point where I had started to question my sexuality and that I was completely unaware of why I was feeling this way. ‘Is this a normality, Or is there something wrong, This must be reality, It's feeling kinda strong’. This part of the verse is when I was talking about understanding what this feeling was and that it was real, it wasn’t a phase and I knew fully that this was going to change the way I think and feel from then on. The part where it says ‘Is this a reality’, is where I question whether or not this is real or not.

Verse 2 is when I have accepted who I am and understand that the world is not as against homosexuality as I had imagined; ‘Through all my discoveries,I knew that it was cool, To care and love the people, The same gender as you’. As I refer to the point of loving people ‘the same gender as’ yourself, I make it quirky and fun by saying it is ‘cool’, in a way in which people are fine with it, not as if it good for appearance. The verse continues with the acceptance as I write; ‘People may look down on me, And always judge my life, But I'd rather be happy, Than be forced to love a wife’. Here I thought I would take more of a comedic route as it would make it interesting and ensure the listener is dwelling on the fact that I am shouting at them about acceptance, when I say ‘forced to love a wife’, the intention is to keep the listener interested and keep the song fun, as it is in a major blues scale.

The final different verse is about fully accepting yourself and understanding who you are and what your purpose is, as it was a journey for me to overcome. ‘Live and take, Each day as they come, One step at a time, You are just human, Not committing a crime’. This was also a reminder to me to tell myself not to worry about what people think, as I am ‘not committing a crime’ and I can be who I want to be. If I offend anyone that is their problem and not mine. And finally, ‘Be true to yourself, You're no less than anyone else, There is nothing wrong with you, It's them who need the help’. Here is where I turn the song around. I end my story of acceptance by saying that is no one likes your lifestyle, or the way you live your life that you have no control over, that is their problem. You are a human are absolutely fine and you don’t need help, the people who cannot accept you do, because they should be open to love and acceptance.

Choruses:

I used several different verses within this song as I wanted to concentrate on making sure that I was telling a story within this song. The first chorus is about coming to terms with my sexuality; ‘People say no, By my head screams yes, I'll follow my heart, And I'll ignore the rest, I'm just being me’. As I state, I am just being me and I will try and ignore the negativity that is thrown at me for my sexuality, as at this part of the song I am still trying to accept myself for who I am and I wanted to show that within this chorus.

The second chorus is where I take more of a comedy side to the song, ‘Traditions great, It's just not my fate, You might hate, You're just out of date, Get with it.’ The term ‘out of date’ is referred to people who can’t accept the fact that some people are different, and that if you love yourself that is all that matters. You do not need to follow tradition just to please everyone else around you, you can be whoever you want to be, you can be you and you can be free.

The final chorus that is different from the end one is the one where I have fully accepted myself and that other people in this day and age are more willing to accept. ‘Be proud to be, Someone unique, It's a great big world, And we're close to peace.’ The important term ‘be proud to be someone unique’, is something I was told by someone close to me who helped me accept who I was, so I wanted to share that with the world and let everyone know that being unique is important. And the final part of the story is that ‘we’re close to peace’. This is referring to the fact that the world is changing and accepting people for who we are. We will one day have peace on that planet, and that day will soon come.

All of these emotions within the song fit the style of Blues as it is being used to express myself, which blues music was originally meant for. Black people would use the Blues to tell their story, so I decided to do so too with this.

Ten to Two

(Style Song)

Verse 1:

It's the end of the world,

It's so grey,

It's the end of the world,

And it's our final day,

Don't expect too much,

We're all alone,

Soon we'll lose touch,

Of what we call home,

Chrous:

So fly me away from here,

This is not where I want to be,

Get me out of town,

Send me all around,

I'd do anything for you,

But it's already ten to two...

It's happening quite soon,

So be prepared for your doom,

Verse 2:

It's the end of the world,

What a blast we had,

We did what we had to do,

But it makes me sad,

Now everyone's asleep,

We can roam free,

Let's do what we want for now,

Create our own dreams,

Bridge:

Grant me one wish,

Don't forget me,

If this is how I had planned,

We'll live happily,

Chrous:

So fly me away from here,

This is not where I want to be,

Get me out of town,

Send me all around,

I'd do anything for you,

But it's already ten to two...

It's happening quite soon,

So be prepared for your doom

Post-Chorus:

Because the end of the world,

Is inevitable,

And the end of the world,

Is magical.

Ten to Two is a Jazz piece that I have written about the end of the world. The use of different chords and adding 7’s in the chords allowed me to experiment with different Jazz sounds that worked well with the theme of end of the world. As traditional Jazz songs follow a AABA, ABAC structure, I decided to focus on this for the song.

Verses:

The beginning of the song talks about how the world is going to be ending; ‘It's the end of the world, It's so grey, It's the end of the world, And it's our final day’. This is from the point of view of someone talking to the whole world at once, while no one is listening. It’s the final day and no one wants to face it. ‘Don't expect too much, We're all alone, Soon we'll lose touch, Of what we call home’. This is talking about the world being lost within the end, they do not know how it is going to happen, but they all know that they are truly all alone and they shouldn’t expect to be saved, it is definitely the end of the world. The Jazz structure and chords work well with these lyrics as it sounds quite eerie and interesting within the song.

Verse 2 is talking about how they are looking back at what the world was for them and how much they cherished it, although still taking it for granted; ‘It's the end of the world, What a blast we had, We did what we had to do, But it makes me sad.’ The thought of losing the world and dying is a terrifying thought, so for them all to accept it is petrifying itself as they all know what is to come. Here is where it all changes, this part of the song is where it once again comes from the perspective of the ‘singer’ or ‘writer’. ‘Now everyone's asleep, We can roam free, Let's do what we want for now, Create our own dreams.’ This is referring to the fact that whoever is singing it knows it’s the end of the world, so they will treat the earth like a partner and do whatever they want. They want to have one last chance and saying goodbye.

Bridge:

This is the part of the song where the instruments that would accompany the singer would go crazy as it's coming to the end of the world immediately; ‘Grant me one wish, Don't forget me, If this is how I had planned, We'll live happily’. This is talking about the first person perspective asking the earth not to forget them when they are both gone, as he doesn’t want to forget it. He is now ready but doesn’t want to accept it, they still believe there is time for a saviour.

Chorus:

The chorus is where the reality kicks in and they want to get away, they do not in fact want to face the end of everything at all. ‘So fly me away from here, This is not where I want to be’. They are expressing their disbelief and absolute lack of control over the matter - ‘Get me out of town, Send me all around’ They want to go everywhere they have never been and experience everything that the world has to offer. ‘I'd do anything for you, But it's already ten to two’. This is them trying to say they will do anything for the world but they haven’t got long left, they want that second chance at a glimmer of hope to arise. ‘It's happening quite soon, So be prepared for your doom’. Here they have given up trying and have accepted the fact it’s all going to be over. They have no control and they are ready to die.

With this being a Jazz piece, the structure and sounds of the song compliment the lyrics well.

Strengths and Further Development:

Lyric Writing Technique

When I am writing lyrics, I tend to fit them to a melody or chord progression as I find it easier to fit lyrics to a sound or tune I have already got in my head. With this comes the feeling and emotion that the lyrics have, as I use the melody and chords to find where the best points are to tell my story. I normally let the lyrics come to me and flow, I don’t have a specific trick or technique where I can summon lyrics, they normally come to me as I sing or hum the melody to the song I am writing.

If a certain lyric or set of lyrics come to my head, I instantly write it down regardless of how simple or complex it is, as I enjoy to give myself something to work with and give myself complete expressive freedom. This is then allows me to work with whatever I want, as I always have my thoughts on paper and allows me to go back to it if needs be.

I do tend to focus on using my past memories and problems as a way of writing, because it is my way of expressing the way I am feeling and how I feel about certain problems or situations I have been in. This can be an advantage because it can be relatable, and it can also help me channel emotion into the lyrics I am writing as I am writing about personal issues.

However, there are also parts of my writing technique that I can improve.

When I have too many ideas, I can get clustered and I can end up writing a lot about a certain topic, which I didn’t intend for a specific song, and I can backtrack and start to write differently throughout the song. This can seem unprofessional, as the lyrics don’t always relate to the whole meaning of the song.

Also, if I am trying to fit lyrics to a melody, it doesn’t always work perfectly and I end up having to edit what I have written, as I need it to fit the way the song should sound. However, in future, I am going to make sure that I focus on the emotions of the song rather than just the way the lyrics would sound within the song, although it’s importance, I do need to focus on getting the lyrics right.

Focusing on past memories can be a problem for me as I do tend to focus on it more than other parts of writing. A lot of my music comes from my pain and how I have developed as a person, and despite the emotional value of this, it can be improved as I do want to start writing happier lyrics. I could potentially do this by fitting lyrics to a happier or a major sounding key, so that instead of me instantly going to write sad lyrics, happy ones spark in my head.

Use Of Language

Within my lyrical content, I do focus on the way my lyrics are written, as I want them to be understood correctly and relatable to the listener. I write my songs with sensible language, as I don’t want a listener to be offended or take my lyrics in an offensive way. I mainly write from personal experiences, so whatever I write about is the way I am feeling, so this can be shown through the use of my language and the way am I am expressing myself through my lyrics.

Improvements to my use of language would probably be to interpret new words that relate to the concepts I am writing about. I definitely do re-cycle lyrics and repeat what I am saying through my sets of lyrics as they tend to be about the same thing. I could improve this by writing about different concepts rather than just heartbreak and pain, and focus on happier styles of music that allow me to express my creative happiness rather than just pain and sadness.

Writing Style

I focus on writing with my emotions and the way I am feeling about certain situations. My writing style is most definitely emotional, as I write from my heart and allow all my feelings to come bursting out lyrically. This is an advantage because this allows the songs to be relatable, as it is coming directly from experience and I know the way I am feeling at the time of it happening and the time of me writing the lyrics. I definitely focus on sadder emotions as I feel it is my way of expressing my feelings that I keep to myself, as music is my freedom and and writing lyrics is like my diary.

When I am focusing on past memories for my writing, it can be a problem for me as I focus on it more than I should due to my writing style. As my music portrays my pain, it can be relatable but also quite saddening to write as I am always expressing my emotions. This can be improved by writing happier songs, as my writing style is definitely emotional, so I could focus on writing happier songs by allowing myself to channel my happier thoughts onto paper, and by writing in happier keys to allow my brain to kick into writing happier material.

Strategies for Improving Future Writing

When I am normally writing a song, I tend to start with chords and the progression of how the song sounds before I decide to add lyrics. However, when I am focusing on writing the lyrics, once I have the lyrics in my head I tend to stick with the ones I first thought of. So in future, I will make sure that I focus on developing my lyrics for a specific song, rather than just going with what my first idea was. My writing can be quite confusing, as it backtracks and tells different stories within them, so in future I am going to look for different ways to say the same thing, and think of it as a work of art than focusing on it entirely as a song and something I have to prove myself with.

I will in future ensure that I use time to my advantage. This is because in the past when I have written songs, especially for ‘Fool’, I wrote the lyrics quite quickly as I was feeling so much pain at the time and I just threw words onto paper as that was how I was feeling at the time. Although this can be good as the lyrics are coming from a hurtful and raw place, the lyrical qualities may not be at a higher standard as other songs because I didn’t take the time to concentrate specifically on each lyric. I in future will ensure that I focus on lyrics with more time and ensure I modify them with quality.

Another way in which I can improve my lyrics for future writing projects is focusing on the theme or concept with more accuracy. In the past, I have written songs that have double meanings, of which I had no intention of doing. For example, if I am writing a song about heartbreak, I do tend to talk about the good times just as much as the bad times, when I should be focusing on mainly the bad side of lyrics as that is the theme/concept of the song. Of course I will still put the good parts in as they do emphasise the feeling of heartbreak within the song, but I will make sure that I concentrate solely on the purpose of the song I am writing in future.

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