#something about the flying squid species

[toothpaste-for-the-skin]

Now that I’m actually back from vacation I can draw all the shit I thought of during 🫡

Wish I didn’t have to play in a 2 day Splatoon tournament tomorrow LMAO

[dogtoling]

Wait if only mammals are extinct, what kind of amphibians or bugs and crap do you think they have in squid world? We know they have regular boring birds but I think a weird frog could be fun. What do you think

This is a common misconception about Splatoon, it's not *JUST* mammals that are extinct. The mass extinction wave between the human and mollusc era does involve all mammals, but it also involves a lot of other land animals, mostly vertebrates. For example the tortoise and the crane that are depicted in Inkopolis Square - neither of which are mammals.

(from this interview). This is absolutely not widespread information as I think this interview is the only place it has ever been brought up lol

The giant statues in general seem to have a pattern of depicting animals that are extinct in the Mollusc Era (in the case of the chicken in Splatsville, this is very confusing). So really at this point when it comes to any vertebrate we haven't explicitly seen in Splatoon I would err on them being extinct rather than out there just because they're not mammals. (There are frog sounds at Brinewater Springs, so those are probably fine!)

When it comes to bugs, though, there's at least 30 species of bugs we've catalogued that either outright appear or are heavily implied to exist in the Splatoon world - though many of them are preserved specimens in the museum (and ported from Animal Crossing, which doesn't exactly confirm whether or not they are extant). The consensus seems to be that bugs survived the extinction event much better than vertebrates did, though.

When it comes to the wildlife in Splatoon, it seems that marine animals did most of the evolving while land animals, if not extinct, also didn't change much at all. So I would expect nature to consist mostly of what used to be marine creatures, mostly crustaceans and something like less evolved fish and urchins, with the occasional surviving mostly unchanged bird sprinkled in there. Every now and then you can find oddities that might have you do a double take. Like the flying scallop - yes, this is an evolved scallop.

[trekbait]

Cosmozoans you wish you could pet

As you venture out into the galaxy, it's not all humanoids you know. Our universe is full of space-born life known as Cosmozoans. These creatures fly around the depths of space living their best lives and occasionally getting into crazy scrapes when a starship flies by. And you know what? A bunch are SO CUTE! We did a poll of our team to find out which ones we want to take home and snuggle with (not accounting for size). 

So get out your EV suit, we’re here to pet space’s cutest lifeforms!

Gekli

These snuggly babies might get a bit close to your ship’s fusion reactors but there’s no denying how touchy-feely they can get. One, nicknamed ‘Junior’, was suckling off the Enterprise D until its kindred were found in a nearby asteroid belt. In our books, it can’t be blamed for thinking the Enterprise was mommy.

Farpoint creature

Maybe we’re pushing cuddly by including a jellyfish, but our local Benzite here, Mandiks, insisted. But what is undeniable is how beautiful and glorious these creatures are in their natural forms. When we say natural forms; well they also double as space vessels. So I guess you can cuddle them from the inside?

Gormagander

Sometimes given the misnomer, “space whale”, this majestic creature is endangered due to them being so obsessed with eating that they forget to reproduce. A feeling some of our readers may sympathise with. The bonus is adopting it in an official refuge will help protect them from hunters; so adopt a whale to save the whales!

Crystalline Entity

This handsome snowflake of awesome proportions might consume whole planets or all organic matter on a regular basis, but it has also consumed our affections. Just be sure to get your graviton pulses at the right rate or it may get confused as to where it’s dinner is.

Verugament

These gorgeous bioluminescent organisms migrate through space looking for new breeding grounds (they seem a lot better at that than the Gormagander; take notes, readers. We know you've been without, for seven years about). While easily small enough to get your arms around, they can deliver painful electric shocks and are considered by Bal here to be “icky” given their goopy texture. That's not for everyone, but they're definitely cute.

Gomtuu

Much like the aforementioned Farpoint creature, Gomtuu are sentiment organic space vessels who can communicate telepathically. These creatures share something with cats; the ability and will to defend their boundaries. Get too close without permission and you may find yourself caught up in an energy wave capable of destroying a Warbird. My cat is still more fierce about being petted without warning, however (incidentally, from our last pet poll it seems you lot are all about your cats too! Congratulations, we have readers of culture).

Rytonian

These little squid babies, again on the list thanks to Mandiks’ love of marine-looking life (we are told they have quite an aquarium at home), are formed from the gravity well inside nebulae. Large swarms may be formed during intense energy waves. Don’t you just want to boop their… their… I don’t see a nose but that won’t stop me booping them.

Tardigrade

These little creatures are a bit more of a huggable size. They’re interdimensional creatures who can incorporate other forms of DNA within their own and warp across the galaxy: your chief engineer can eat their heart out! (that's a human expression I'm told, we do not advise they actually do that). They’re friendly but fearsome in self-defence so absolutely do not be late with their dinner! 

Disclaimer

We could include a great number of other entities such as the telepathic pitcher plant, Zetarians, Beta Renner cloud, Calamarain, Species 8472, Cosmic cloud, Nucleogenic cloud, space amoeba, and so on but we figure we have to draw the line at petting somewhere and have gone with the most common humanoid feelings on the matter. Do correct us though if you want to hug the space amoeba!

Follow us for more guides to your galaxy!

[mightyray]

Random Ray and Mighty Headcanons

Ray's favourite food is pancakes. Dude has his cupboards full of pancake mix.

Ray struggles to lift weights. This is due to a curse.

Ray himself has soothing properties and is known to ease night terrors and outright remove nightmares. His fur glows in the sun and on rare occasions glows in the dark a soft yellow glow.

Ray is obsessed with the word squid and occasionally will call people "Squid Man Binch" as an insult. No one, not even Ray himself, seems to know the meaning of the insult. He will also 'squid' people when they are knocked out by moving his hand back and forth while saying squid over and over again.

Ray loves wisps and refers to them as "Flying Squids". No matter how many times Sonic and co correct him, it goes in one ear and out the other. Ray owns a Flame wisp called Fat Man Squid. The Fat Man seems fine with the name.

Aside from pancakes, Ray also loves Maple Syrup related products, including and not limited to ice cream and hard lollies.

Infinite LOATHES Ray and sees him as the ultimate sign of weakness and everything sad and pathetic in the world. Ironic would it be that aside from hanging out with Mighty, Ray is more or less a loner due to not wanting to be seen as a weak burden. Mighty for the longest time was the only person Ray felt comfy to be himself around.

Ray is highly protective of Mighty and will not hesitate to face hug a fool for hurting his big bro. Basically, he will latch on to your face and choke you with his tail like an actual face hugger... thankfully you just black out and don't have to worry about chest bursters.

Mighty is also highly protective of Ray and will not hesitate to smack a fool sky-high if Ray gets messed up.

Mighty is a good cook and can cook just about any vegetable into something delicious. Mighty is a vegan and substitutes his protein with tones of mushrooms and legumes. Mighty also is a mushroom expert able to identify many, many different species of mushrooms. He also takes magic mushrooms on rare occasions. Ray is forbidden from taking the shrooms.

Ray is a Dance Dance Revolution master. Crowds would gather just to watch Ray get perfect combos any time he played. Ray however is terrible at just about every other video game in existence and will usually get stuck at the first level of a game, baffling everyone.

Ray has stolen Infinite's helmet at least once. In retaliation, Infinite tries to murder Ray in increasingly violent ways, not including manifesting a large barrel of piranha solution to dump over Ray's head. These plans would always backfire, as Infinite would advertise his presence by accident every time. In response, Ray calls Infinite, Finite as a nickname. This pisses the jackal off something fierce.

[cannot-stop-twinkling]

Greetings, Shiny One!

I've heard that you enjoy cheese! Well, it just so happens that I do, too! That being said, I have a cheese-related question for ya :]

Have you ever heard of (or tried) Casu Martzu? Colloquially, it's known as "rotten cheese" because of the very specific fermentation process it goes through that involves letting a species of cheese fly larvae eat through it. However, if you don't like bugs, I'd advise against looking it up!! They are very much involved in the reasons as to why it's dangerous!

Alright, that is all! Thank you for taking time to listen to a humble squid rant about cheese :D

Regards, Ink 🦑

Non, I have not and it does not seem like something I would enjoy.

[freakartack]

hey i'm that dumbass who said ur art reminded me of cow snd chicken again!! i've been reading your theories about the biology of the orbulon species (which i absolutely adore btw, as a massive fan of speculative biology and just biology in general lmao) and that made me curious, what do you think his anatomys like? by that i refer to organs n stuff, like do you think he has internal systems to perform life functions somewhat like how humans do? and how'd they work if he does have em? apologies if i worded this in a convoluted manner im just Very Interested

LOLLLL if i could frame the cow and chicken comparison i would have. Anyways thank you! I am very happy you enjoy my insane orbiology raving. Speculating upon orbulon's biology is the funnest thing ever because nobody who writes official orbulon lore gives a shit about that. they're just like yeah he likes frozen french fries and he doesn't poop. He can teleport and he has 300iq. And then schmucks like me run around in circles trying to fit all of those random incongruous statements into a coherent creature. It's great

I have thought about orbulorgans before but i have not made a orbulon xray because there is some soul searching i have to do. Here are the pins on my ever-expanding corkboard

Some important things to note throughout are that orbulon does not 1) shit 2) fuck. The latter is no big deal but the first one is a big ole spanner in the works because most things indeed shit. If he did i could just contort the innards of a squid into his body shape but he doesn't. In addition to cephalopods i also lean on jellyfish a lot wrt his life cycle, which is great because jellyfish also don't poop. Unfortunately both ways they do expel waste is not that great. Warioware has a lot of grossout humor but at what point do we fly too close to the sun? At what point do we fall? (Some people like the theory that his digestive system just obliterates whatever enters it, thus removing the need for waste altogether. This is a simple and neat solution but i am neither of those things and so this question continues to keep me up at night.)

Orbulon's brain situation was swiftly addressed in move it where it is revealed that it looks like this: 🧠. Simple enough. This is another example of warioware devs putting the appropriate amount of thought into their cartoon wario alien and me not doing that because prior to them giving him a regular degular brain emoji a top question on my mind was "does orbulon have a decentralized nervous system?" I guess if i wanted to i could argue that they only showed us ONE of his brains so we don't know what's going on in the rest of him but the way he behaves doesn't necessarily imply anything of the sort. I'm just being silly.

The age old question: "Do you think orbulon has an open circulatory system or closed"!!!! This is the question all warioware fans have asked themselves. For a creature as brainy as he, you would think it would be closed, to better direct the flow of "blood" (or his equivalent) to his highly demanding brain(s). I'm hesitant to dwell on the question of whether he even needs oxygen or some other element for this because unfortunately everyone in this cast has casually been out there in space so. Cartoon physics wins this time.

Sorry if this answer is disappointing because it does kind of amount to "i don't know". But i do think. If i do make a orbulon cross-section it will probabaly be a lot funnier than this just to keep up the tradition of funny cross-sections in wario games because I do like the mystery and the anarchy of it all. He's deranged. He says something offhand about his third appendix and the crygors lose their minds

[umichenginabroad]

The Great Barrier Reef (Week 5)

After a very memorable trip to Singapore and Bali, it was time to visit the Great Barrier Reef with my summer class. But first, Lauren and I had to take a train from Brisbane to Hervey Bay where we would meet up with our class and fly out to Lady Elliot Island (LEI). The day we had in the 3rd largest Australian city consisted of a lot of walking through the city streets, spotting spiders in the Botanical Garden, and philosophizing about human nature as usual. 

We were eager to get on our first Australian train that would take us to Hervey Bay, but after reaching the first stop and halting for the next 3 hours, we had started to lose hope. Apparently a tree had fallen down onto power lines which fell onto the tracks up north, preventing our train from moving forward. Southeast Queensland is notorious for having bad thunderstorms and flooding. With the canceled train and nowhere to stay, all we could do was wait patiently and hope that the train company would coordinate accommodation for us and secure us a train ride for the following day. Luckily, the train company followed through and we got to spend an extra day in Brisbane which we used to walk around some more and then watch Mean Girls in theater (I highly recommend giving it a watch). Seeing how patient and cooperative all the Australians were during all the train chaos was very inspiring and a testament to the lax culture Aussies embrace. Isolated from the rest of the world, people here seem to prioritize self-care and community instead of work and politics. When the weather is this nice all the time, I sure can’t blame them. Soon enough, we found ourselves in Hervey Bay, and then on one of the smallest planes I have ever laid my eyes on for just 12 passengers to get to LEI. 

Just like that, I found myself standing on a tiny island that would take only 45 minutes to walk around. 

A picture of LEI from the plane.

LEI is the southernmost point of the Great Barrier Reef and it’s known to be a breeding ground for almost 100 different species of birds, 3 species of turtle, as well as countless fish, rays, sharks, and so much more. It’s also home to an eco-resort dedicated to educating visitors about the surrounding coral reefs and wildlife while being fully self-sustainable. Through my class, we got behind-the-scenes tours from staff to learn about the sustainable practices used on the island including solar panels for energy, a water desalination and filtration system, and even a composting machine that could take any thrown out food from the buffet and turn it into fertilizer. In our spare time, students were free to snorkel, scuba dive, and explore as much as we wanted. Within the first 2 minutes of my first snorkeling adventure, I watched a small shark swim right below me, saw countless fish, and witnessed the beauty of an underwater world I never could have imagined. I had no idea that coral reefs came in every color from yellow to green to purple and that sea turtles use their flippers to itch their faces just like my dog, Roni, uses his paw when he has something in his eye. I watched a line of baby squid float side-by-side without a care in the world and a baby turtle poop as if performing for us eager snorkelers. I was introduced to over a dozen different turtles over the days and learned that my favorite part about turtle-watching was seeing them come up for air and poke their little heads up out of the water while they’re massive shells floated at the surface. Each shark I saw (all about the size of a dolphin or smaller) reminded me of their beauty and surprisingly calm nature, but impressive speed and agility. I also laid eyes on barracuda as well as a stingray in their natural habitat and I overcame my fear of scuba diving as I made my first dive down 12 meters! The experience was thrilling, but showed me that I could see the same beauty while floating at the water’s surface – a more comfortable location for a mild claustrophobe. 

A screenshot from a video where a shark swims under a turtle we were watching! 

All in all, the quick 5-day trip was one I will never forget and one that I will never fail to recommend to any future Australia-travelers (just don't forget to bring a hat to protect you from the bird poop!).

 Cheers!

David Bayer

Biomedical Engineering

University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia

[cru5h-cascades]

OC Biology Updates

So a few of my Splatoon OCs have unique biology so I decided to make a post explaining their abilities.

Hybrid Octolings (Anyo & Toby's Section)

Hybrid octolings were created by the Octarian military in attempt to make better soldiers, their first hybrid being Anyo and Toby's mother, Blythe Kelly. Since Blythe was basically patient zero, the scientists working with the Octarian military wanted to monitor her to see if it actually was a good idea to make hybrids, so Blythe wasn't enlisted into the Octarian army and was monitored until she was 18. Since nothing went wrong, more hybrids were made until sometime before the events of Splatoon 2. Hybrids made by Octarian scientists start off as a tentacle from a single species of octopus and then gets injected with another species' DNA. After a certain period of time the tentacle instantly gains an octoling form and thus a hybrid is born. However, hybrids can also cut off portions of their hair to create their own child as well. Scientist-made hybrids possess both species' abilites while the abilities hybrid-made ones will tend to vary in strength.

Blue-Ringed Octarians (Anyo, Toby, and Orion's Section)

Octopian blue-ringed Octarians will quickly learn that they need to wear gloves in order to prevent the unnessisary spread of their venom (it was said that the venom of blue-ringed Octarians mixed with their ink, making their entire body venomous), however this isn't entirely true. Sure these Octarians have lethal venom that can even spread by simply touching something, but it doesn't mean they need to wear gloves 24/7. Blue-ringed octarians can channel their venom into any part of their body, meaning they can touch things without killing them. Spreading venom by touch will slowly kill victims while biting them will kill them way faster, especially if venom is channeled primarily into the teeth, killing victims instantly. Most surface dwelling Octarians will find out about their contol over their venom eventually (if they lived in Octopia) and will quickly abandon their gloves.

Ghost Octolings (and Bigfin Squids?) (April's Section)

Ghost octolings (there has only ever been ghost octopus type octolings) are a rare type of octoling that has only ever existed on the surface. These octolings originated from somewhere around what remained of Hawaii and spread across the world (they were curious about what else was out there outside of their homeland), however once more and more showed up, other sea creatures seeked to hunt these octolings because of their unique ability to maintian their humanoid and swim form after being splatted. Once splatted, a ghost octoling's soul turns into a ghostly version of themselves, allowing them to fly, levitate stuff, and walk through walls. Ghost octolings can go into their ghost forms willingly, but not for a long time since it takes a lot out of them however when splatted they can maintain their ghost form for however long they want (exept for when they're hooked up to a nearby respawn point, then they'll be sucked into it in order to respawn). Bigfin squid-type inklings also have these abilities however they can also disquise themselves to look like the living in the presence of ink in the area (due to their superior amount of tentacles), however that affect will wear out in a certain amount of time and will run out faster if they use the ink covering them. Both ghost octolings and bigfin inklings have a decreased need for food and both species tend to appear to have a lighter ink color than they're using.

Queen Salmonlings (Kandi's Section)

Queen salmonlings are a type of king salmonid that take on a more humanoid form and can become a larger and more terrifying version of their humanoid form when they want/need to. They also have a lesser salmonid form for their swim form. Typically female salmonids become queens but sometimes males can, too. This form can be achived in high-stress situations in which the salmonid will transform into their king form. Once disaster is averted, they'll shrink back into their normal humanoid form. This is the only kind of salmonid that can respawn.

[activate-shadow-of-the-window]

Hear on the Wind how the Pendulum Swings

Caesar - Dear Wormwood - The Oh Hellos

-

Chapter 2 of Cracking like a dry branch in a westward wind, in which Impulse does proper research to settle his nervousness about the suspiciously familiar newcomers.

Available on AO3 here.

-

Impulse was concerned.

Impulse was concerned.

The hoofed messenger from Great Acacia had brought unexpected news from the north: ships from the west had come. Ships that looked concernedly like his own secret outrigger projects. Ships painted with designs that, though smoother and less intricate, were very similar to his own nation’s swirling scrollwork. Ships that carried people dressed in the colorful robes of the jungle, who drank watermelon juice and built with bamboo and treated coca beans like gold. Just like the People of the Labyrinth. They even claimed to come from ‘the Emerald Lands’, an ancient name for his own realm.

The only real difference between these new ‘Emeraldians’ and Impulse’s own subjects were their species; his people were mostly ocelots, while the newcomers bore the wings and feathers of parrots. And this is what had him so concerned.

The feeling had been, well, not quite eating away at him, but persistently butting at the edge of his mind, always lurking, always there. And now, a month too late and a month too soon, he decided to do something about it.

“Oh, my lord! I was not informed that you were going to visit today,” the librarian stammered as he strode through the doorway, “Please do let me know if you wish to find anything.”

Impulse smiled warmly at the sable furred ocelot. “Oh, thank you! I’m looking for the history section, the more ancient the better.”

The librarian’s tail twitched. “Oh, of course my lord! If you would follow me?”

They wound through the tall bamboo shelves, passing sections marked by hanging signs in glowing ink, a new addition. The librarian stopped at a section marked by a cherrywood sign, of all things, labeled ‘History - Ancient to the Fifth Emperor’.

“Ah, perfect! Thank you—“ Impulse glanced at their name tag “—Yin. I may take some books today. Could you please tell me where the carts are?”

Yinpan squeaked that she’d be more than willing to get a cart, and after scurrying off, Impulse walked down the wide aisle, eyes flickering over spines. Most of the books here were wood bound, as leather was considered too flimsy to hold such large volumes. Almost all of their titles were long-winded and descriptive, from The Oldest of Times from Before the Finishing of the Complex, and what Treaties and Trade Deals Occured Then, to On the Trade and Transportation of the Earliest Known Times, from the Humble Melon to the Rich Coco Beans of the Trees. But Impulse wasn’t looking for economic history; no, he sought the thin sets of journals that recounted the wars from the perspectives of generals and civilians alike.

One little volume, War with the Monks and the Ocean Folk, barely three hundred pages and smaller than his (admittedly large) hand, told of how instrumental the “flying corps of parrots” were to “suppressing the squids and dolphins” and driving back the “hard-footed monks of Acacia”.

Another, Raids and Farming during Wartime, mentioned the “soaring vibrant ones” who “snatched up whole melons in their talons”. Nearly fifty pages (over half the book) were devoted to the description of a dead “bird-man’s” anatomy, from his mostly human face, to the feathers on his arms and legs, and his absurd wingspan.

Everyone, from farmers to soldiers, artisans to prisoners-of-war, casually spoke about these parrot-folk like they were no different from the ocelots. They seemed to be a normal part of life in the ancient past.

“My lord?”

Impulse looked up, seeing Yin with the cart, and another, taller librarian he did not recognize. He straightened from his crouch. “Oh, thank you, Yin. I’m sorry, but I don’t recognize you. Your name is..?”

“Hanlen, my lord. Yin told me that you were interested in ancient history. I am the current curator of this part of the Library.”

“Oh! Thank you, Han, and thank you, Yin, for bringing them over.”

“O-Of course, my lord!” Yin swiftly bowed and scurried away again.

“She’s a bright girl, my lord,” Han commented, as Impulse loaded the books onto the cart. “A trade specialist, but a bright one nonetheless.”

“Brightness is always welcome, and trade specialists in particular. Goodness knows we need more help navigating that ‘fraction market’ up in Metropolis.”

Han leaned over the cart, reading the titles of the books Impulse had chosen. “But you are not reading of trade, my lord. War accounts?”

“Yeah, the oldest ones I could find. Pre-gunpowder and pre-redstone.”

“If I may ask, why are you interested in such ancient history? Surely you have no need for pre-powder cavalry tactics or farming practices, my lord.”

Impulse nodded. “No, that’s not why I chose them. It’s because they mention parrot-folk.”

Han suddenly straightened, their formerly swishing tail going still. “Parrot-folk? If my lord wishes to know about them… Would like to come to my office?”

Impulse was slightly surprised by the offer; he was anticipating a long and sleepless night of pouring over the volumes. “Oh, yes, thank you! Er, should I take the cart?”

“No need, my lord,” Han replied, “The necessary texts are already in my rooms.”

-

Han, being an imperial scholar and a curator on top of that, had very nice rooms within the Parchment Ring of the Labyrinth. Even Impulse was impressed with the scrollworked bookcases and writing desk, cluttered as they were.

“Ah, I apologize for the mess, my lord,” Han sputtered, hurriedly gathering up loose sheets and notebooks. “I always try to clean, but everything returns the next day.”

Impulse smiled and motioned for them to calm down. “Don’t worry, Han. Without Tayshe and Ransung, my study would be this cluttered, if not more so. I can never quite commit to an organization system.”

Han smiled for a moment, an expression that lit up their long-whiskered face, before it returned to careful neutrality. They plopped a large pile of thin books on the writing desk, swooped up in their flurry of gathering. Impulse approached the pile, seeing the first title for an instant before Han snatched it up. A Comprehensive Guide to the Parrot-Folk of the Jeweled Jungle.

“If I may assume so,” Han said as they flipped through the pages, “This has something to do with the messenger from Great Acacia. Pardon my bluntness, my lord, but the newcomers she mentioned must be parrot-folk, or else somehow connected to that species, else you would have sought a more well-documented historical period to study.”

“Well, yes. Priestess Pearl’s message said that a parrot-folk man named Grian of the Sunset, a noble from the Emerald Lands, has arrived on Mainland with several hundred civilians and soldiers aboard boats called catamarans. He is in a tentative alliance with Cub Fan of the Voidstars, who has given him the Teal Cove to make his own. He has no wish to colonize Mainland, but is apparently, er, ‘escaping responsibility’.”

Unlike most of the court, Han didn’t flinch at the sudden influx of information. Impulse had a tendency to treat his subjects like friends, which was a flaw more often than not. But Han seemed to take his demeanor in stride. At the very least, they didn’t seem to notice, making noncommittal noises as practiced fingers turned pages.

“Ah, here.” Han placed the book flat on its spine, displaying a full spread of remarkably lifelike sketches and paintings of parrot-folk. “The parrot-folk are a species endemic to deep, tropical jungles, not unlike our own. Bright like jewels and with a voice seemingly designed for song, wherever they travel shall become vibrant and joyous for the duration of their stay, and for as long as the memory remains. They are particularly skilled in building tall structures, as their ability to fly lets them construct far higher than any scaffolding could ever reach.”

Han pointed at a sketch that compared a parrot-folk with an ocelot. “As you can see, the parrot-folk are shorter on average than ocelots, but they have proportionally longer limbs and more compact torsos. Their wings usually appear oversized when compared to their bodies, but they must be large to allow for flight. Parrot-folk fighting styles take advantage of their increased reach—“

“Ah, Han,” Impulse interjected, “This is all good information, and I would like to learn far more at a later time, but… well, my priority is to find out why these parrot-folk’s whole deal seems so similar to the Labyrinth’s, in terms of art and clothes and customs. It’s just been, well, poking at me ever since the messenger arrived.”

The scholar’s head whipped up so suddenly Impulse was afraid that their earrings would go flying. “Oh, I’m so sorry, my lord! I get caught up in the information. It is my fault, and—“

Impulse cut them off again. “No, it’s not your fault, Han! I didn’t tell you exactly what I was looking for, I was too vague. And it is good to know about the specialities of parrot-folk, if they really will be our new northern neighbors.”

Han was still wide-eyed, still in a state of slight shock, but they shook it off quickly enough. In an instant, their face was a mask again, not as much as a whisker out of place. “R-Right then, my lord. Parrot-folk culture…”

They shut A Comprehensive Guide, sorting through the stack and withdrawing two extremely thin books: The Art of Decoration and Jewel Feathers.

Han cleared their throat as they flipped through both books simultaneously, before landing on pages in both that compared the style of parrot-folk carvings with that of the ocelots, as well as the ice wolves and hoofed folk.

“As you can see, both parrot-folk and ocelot carving styles feature simple lines, both straight and curving, used to form stylized plants, animals, and objects. The main difference is the degree of scrollworking; ocelot carvings are far more intricate and detailed, while parrot-folk carvings are simple yet expressive. Both styles are frequently painted, though that of the parrot-folk is usually more limited in palette. The relative similarity of these two styles may indicate that either A); one is a derivative of the other, or B); they are both derivatives of some other style. The fact that parrot-folk and ocelots share habitats and other cultural elements can lend credence to either theory.”

Han looked up from the books, having seemingly forgotten about Impulse. “D-Does that answer your… poking, my lord?”

Impulse nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you for your time, Hanlen. If you ever have trouble with your research or academic pursuits, please don’t be afraid to ask for my help. You’ve certainly done as much for me!”

He grasped Han’s hand without pause, smiling and shaking it before he left with hardly a backwards glance.

-

Impulse too sent out messengers that day, hardly a month since Grian Sunset had arrived. To Pearl, of course; as an ally, she had a right to know about his discoveries. And to Cub, since he was protecting the parrot-folk. But he also penned letters to the far east, to the civilizations that didn’t bother with what was happening in Evergreen or Livingstone as long as the emeralds and terracotta kept flowing.

The emperor rubbed his head. Perhaps Pearl was right; these parrots would change the civilizations as he knew them, starting with his sleep schedule.

-

A figure sits in her long gown, slumped over a desk where two letters in two different hands seem to be conspiring against them. Impulse’s notice was welcome, if a bit late, and did much to explain the utter chicken scratch of the other missive, written on the back of a hilariously inaccurate map of Mainland.

“One barge of wool in yellow, teal, light blue, orange, white, and gray,” they recite from memory, “As quickly as you can. Didn’t even bother with a proper introduction! Shake the civilizations to their foundations, indeed!”

-

A far leaner and more ragged figure lounges across the tangle of metal and vines that serves as his throne, holding a letter up to the faltering light of a redstone lamp. He peers through the thick, unnecessary glasses that weigh heavy on his nose to read the writing.

“New neighbors? From the other continent? I wonder what they’re planning… and if they’d help us…”

-

A much bulkier and rather tall figure gazes out the purple tinted windows of their stronghold, face obscured by their bone white helmet. A half-crumpled, half smoothed out letter is grasped delicately in one gauntleted hand; the other is reflexively twitching around the sword at their hip.

“The first parrot-folk in ages, and he’s a possible heir to the Verdant Crown. Just my luck! At least Scar wasn’t exaggerating this time.”

[dragonthunders01]

It always gets me about mammals just stop evolving, previous groups die out and we only have left the Poggle, the equivalent of a tuatara for a mammal living isolated in the north Austra-beringian giant mountains being harvested by Eusocial spiders.

And it all sounds really poorly planned because the format that TFIW present its worldbuilding is very limited and ambiguous, they can only afford to show three or four specific species per ecosystem.

Then the remaining vertebrates die out implied by a mass extinction in 100 m.y. implied in the episode of the great plateau by volcanic activity which got me like "even small reptiles?" for years.

I always wondered if the choice of killing them all was mostly for having a more strange and unique settling where something as alien as a land squid, flying fish and other things could evolve... or maybe because they though that groups could just vanish leaving no descendant, based on something like trilobites, eurypterids or marine reptiles. Maybe would be added in this idea dinosaurs and synapsids, although with them you see the tendency of the majority die out and a handful of survivors being able to thrive and eventually recover, taking again in new forms (Birds as a branch of surviving theropods, mammals as a branch of surviving cynodonts).

This is probably why I feel the idea of "tetrapods die out" seems so implausible at this point, even if you have a mass extinction at the level of the K/Pg or the P/Tr that small handful of survivors will likely recover fast and diversify again before any land squid could take out. The ideal scenarios where TFIW 200 m.y. world would work is a total wipe out of land life that annihilate any competitor that could recover.

kinda the opposite of your field but how do you feel about The Future is Wild? a lot of the proposed creatures seem like they were designed to seem weird more than to be plausible

that's pretty much my main takeaway. I also thought that their choices in what would live till when were... weaksauce

[learnyouabiology]

Fun Fact: Some Animals Move (and sometimes fly) with Jet Propulsion

As a child, I pretty much always pictured jet propulsion as involving some sort of... fire. You know, like a rocket! Or like the speed boost in racing games! So when a professor mentioned in a lecture that squid can get around with “jet propulsion”, for a second, I pictured something like this:

To my amazement, this is absolutely, 100% how they do it!

No, no I’m kidding. April Fools and such, I swear that squid don’t use fire to power their jet propulsion! Not yet, anyways. I can dream.

Jet propulsion does not actually need to involve fire unfortunately. You can also achieve jet propulsion by sitting in a rolly chair and letting off a fire extinguisher, or by standing on a skateboard and holding a really strong fan, or blowing up a balloon, not tying off the end, and releasing it (on purpose or by accident).

Importantly, you can also achieve jet propulsion by being in water and shooting water behind you.

Basically, jet propulsion is moving forward by directing a jet of fluid in the opposite direction. Something-something, Newton’s Third Law, this isn’t a Physics Fun Fact. However, in nature, jet propulsion is exclusively* found in aquatic animals, because water is more readily available than fire, fire extinguishers, or big fans.

*there are almost always exceptions in nature, and I would be thrilled if someone found an exception to this. Especially if that exception uses fire. 

There’s a few different species which use jet propulsion, but perhaps the most famous are cephalopods, like octopuses and squids. They achieve jet propulsion by taking in water, holding it in their mantle, and then shooting it fast out of their siphon to get a burst of speed. They’re really good at this! One species, the flying squid famously uses this jet propulsion to fly more than 30 metres in 3 seconds.

I am a lover of bugs, and as such, my personal favourite example of an animal using jet propulsion is dragonfly nymphs. You may have recently seen a popular post confidently declaring the “dragonflies use their butts to go fast”, which is like... technically true? Kind of? But not while flying. See, before dragonflies can fly, they are “nymphs” which are basically wingless juveniles/ pre-adults that live in the water. These critters take a bunch of water in through their butt (the highly scientific word for “the ‘out’ door of their digestive tract”), and then expel it with such force that they shoot forwards! They often use this for escaping predators, since it’s faster than the usual methods of getting around. They also breath through their butt, because that’s where the gills are stored. It’s a multi-purpose orifice! The best kind of orifice there is.

There are lots of animals that use jet propulsion, and I could spend about 10000 words gushing about each of them, so instead I’ll try to summarise a few of my favourites in a picture:

kudos to Robertson et al. 2019 for making it look like the clam is farting, unironically a 10/10 decision, and also to Yalçınkaya et al. 2016 for one of my favourite diagrams of a squid in anything ever. Other pics: x, x, x

Of course, this also inspires some biomimicry, and people have been designing robots after these neat little critters:

This has been Fun Fact Friday!

[harveybwabbit92]

Invader Zim: Elite Guardians AU Pt. 2

The following is a non-profit fan-based story, Invader ZiM  is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon please support the official release, I gain no profit nor do I own anything other than OCs and whatever spouts from my imagination!

------------------------------

A another month passed Zim started looking less like wrinkled worm and more like an Irken, Red and Purple were running low on money, Repairing the cruiser was getting more difficult, whenever they fixed something, another thing would break or scavengers would sneak in and take whatever wasn't bolted down, that's when the Elites came to the conclusion that maybe they should look for work. So they started bounty hunting for the local constabulary.

What choice did they have? if they were ever gonna get off this rock and find Cradle 2-117. Bounty hunting was the way to go, The Cruiser was a lost beyond repair, but there were a lot of ships for sale in Meeko; the problem was finding who was willing to sell a ship to them, The citizens were still cold towards them, Again. Neither Red and Purple could understand why? They soon got answer in the most unconventional way, they'd come back from a job, Some nut job thought it was good splice a giant spider with a squid and than super sizing it!

Red was shooting the thing with his Plasma gun while Purple striking it with his photon axe, meanwhile Zim was happily skipping around the battlefield, narrowly missing being crushed or shot at, Red noticed the smeet hopping around. "Zim! get out of the way!" Red dodges a tentacle swinging for him. "You're gonna get hurt!" He barked the smeet just stared at him blankly before smiling "Rwed!" he cheered waving at him, Red facepalmed. "Hi!" he waved back before going back to fighting, Zim went back to his little skipping game dodging death at every corner, only stopping when he saw a large beetle crawling around on the sand, the smeet crouched down just as Purple was thrown off the Squider and sent crashing into the wall behind Zim.

The purple eyed elite sat up with a groan; rubbing his head looked at Zim and did a double take when he saw the smeet eating a beetle, Purple jumped to his feet rushed over to the smeet trying to pry his mouth open. "Naw, no, no. Spit it out, spit out! c'mon!" he lightly slapped Zim's back and the smeet spat up bug guts Purple grimaced. "Disgusting!" he huffed giving the smeet some ration wafers and went back to helping Red fight, Zim calmly sat out of the way to eat and watch his 'Brothers' fight the monster, by the end of the battle Red and Purple were covered in ink and teal colored guts, and their wallets were a good chunk heavier, when they woke up this morning...

Later when they got back to the cruiser both Red felt something was off, there was scent in the air he didn't recognize at first he thought it was the Squider guts, but as they got closer to their wreck... it became more apparent that someone or something was in there, Purple noticed it too he and Red exchanged a look; the red clad elite set Zim down and shush him, the smeet copied him and nodded, Purple dispatched his PAK legs and went in from above while Red followed and hid in the doorway of the engine room, his first thought was it was just another scavenger looking for scrap, but by now everyone nearby knew this ship was occupied and stayed clear of it, Red peeked into the engine room and saw a hooded figure fidgeting around with the power core. 

Red's eyes narrowed as he tried to get a better look and saw this person reading off what looked like an engineering manual, he saw Purple getting into position, they could hear this person mumbling to themselves. "Okay... now shut down switch Y and detach port Q?...wait no, um..." the guards looked at each other and nodded, Purple jumped from the ceiling; landing in front of the intruder catching them completely off guard. "What the fu-" they saw the purple eyed Irken reach for a his stunned baton and panicked. "Shite!" they yelped and went to run only to get pistol whipped from behind by Red knocking them out. 

Red and Purple were perplexed when they tied them up removed the intruders hood and made sure they didn't have weapons, they've never seen an alien like them before...  they had this weird long stringy stuff on their head that was soft to the touch, but stood out out most of all was how tall they were... Both Irkens just barely came up to the intruder's chin. "Whoa! They're almost the same height as Tallest Miyuki!" Purple said stunned while Red shook his head. "No... Miyuki is definitely taller..." he insisted but then again they haven't seen Tallest Miyuki in months! So they couldn't exactly make a comparison.

While the two were prattled about Miyuki and the intruder's heights, neither noticed Zim wander in the smeet looked between the bickering Elites before noticing the stranger sitting against the wall. His pink eyes lit up as he curiously approached the unconscious alien, He saw the long fuzzy stuff on their head and immediately grabbed it and started tugging which roused the trespasser awake.

Red and Purple tenses at the unknown voice cut into their conversation they looked and saw Zim swinging off the alien's... mane? "Ow..ow! quit it! They try to jerked their head away from Zim's grasp. "Oww, Seriously kid stop it!" They growled Red snapped out of his stupor and quickly picked up Zim. "Don't talk to him like that!" He spat glaring at the intruder, who glared back their e/c eyes looked odd too, but Red was more focused on whether or not they were a threat or not.

"Who are you? What are you?" he huffed along with Purple butting in. "And why do you want our power core?" the alien winced a the purple one's shrill voice. " if I tell you will you untie me?" they asked hopeful, the Irkens were silent, and the intruder took their silence as a hard "maybe."

"My name is Y/n, I’m a human female, My ship crashed few clicks north from here, the power core was always little spotty, and it finally gave up the ghost. So I went out looking for a replacement, looked around Meeko and other crash sites, before finding a power signal that lead me to... I thought it was it was a derelict ship!"

"Does this ship derelict look to you?!"

"Well... yeah? I mean look around, your ship is in pieces! it'll obviously never fly again, I'm surprised your core was even intact!"

"How did you even get in? we have security measures!"

Y/n looked bemused before something clicked in her head, she cocked her head towards the front of the ship. "Oh! the giant hole in your hull, with the lasers and forcefield? yeah, I think your motion sensors and hard light generator is offline, I walked right through it" Purple looked like he was going to cry seeing as he was the one who rigged that forcefield up. " that and your front door was wi... was.." Your voice suddenly trailed off, Red and Purple watched your demeanor change as something caught your eye, it took a moment for Red to notice you were staring at the Irken symbol on their armor.

"Shite... You slaver scum!" both Irkens jumped back startled by your sudden outburst. "What are you planning to do with that kid?! huh? did you kidnap him too?" You growled Red and Purple looked at each other stunned. "What are you talking about?" Red asked you just glared him in disgust. "Don't play fucking coy with me! I’ve seen your damn ship going around ransacking outposts around the system and kidnapping people!" Red and Purple were at loss here, 2-117 was overtaken by Slavers? well, at least now they knew why almost everyone on Greedo was so hostile towards them!

There was a tense stare down between the trio, You watched as the two "slavers" got into a huddle, you heard the numbers "2-117..." being mumbled then Red one was saying something the Purple one disagreed with. "No, oh no no no! We're not taking in another stray!" the purple hissed vehemently. "She's the our ticket off this rock, we're doing it!" They turned to look at you.

"What?" you hissed as the Red clad alien silently handed the kid over to his Purple counterpart who glared at him, you tensed up as he walked up to you. "Calm down and just listen alright?" Red guy explained they’re not slavers, but Elite guards from Irk sent to investigate and retrieve a missing Nursery ship called Cradle 2-117 that had been skyjacked a few months ago, the only lead they have is Zim, who Red found malnourished and wandering around in a trash dump.... Now you.

You of course were bit skeptical about this whole situation, what with being tied up and all! but, then Purple told you to take a good look at Zim, the kid was same species as them: Irken. "How many other Irkens have you seen wandering the Tarn system?" You realized never, you have never seen an Irken in Tarn before, so maybe they were telling the truth? then Purple got you attention again "Where was the last place you saw that ship?" You paused thing back to were you saw the Irken ship, it wasn’t hard to forget considering how unique it looked. 

"I think it was headed to Planet Nyree? that’s a two week journey from here." Both Irken elites looked each other hopeful, finally a real lead! "However I'd suggest getting a new ship, I don’t think this one will taking off anytime soon." They hear the ship groan as a panel falls out of the ceiling, landing a little too close to you then you'd like, Red looks at Purple whose shoulders slumped, knowing what was coming, You were confused as Red reach around behind you and untied you. "Okay! New plan, we need a ship and you need a power core, let’s make a deal..." and that's how you gained three new crew members aboard the Cardinal.

[dogtoling]

With these Octoling sub species being confirmed by Nintendo, I wonder if/when we will get ones for Inklings.

For some reason I haven't thought about that yet (still waiting for cuttlefish) but holy shit YEAH. I REALLY hope they're doing that at some point. Getting two octolings clearly based off of existing cool octopus species is making me hopeful that they'll do the same for squid, but squid also rarely have markings setting them apart rather than something way more subtle like size, fin shape, overall body shape or claws... and I don't really see them giving inklings hooks. And with body shape, idk, how do you convey changes like that without going super off model when the character design is basically human with squid hair. (What I'm trying to say is that they're clearly conveying different species through the tentacles, and squid tentacles very rarely have anything notable going on pattern-wise).

So overall I feel like the likelihood of them doing overall squid subspecies is lower because a lot of what they would do with squid would have to be going seriously off model, because slight changes like different tentacle colors or even fin shapes can just be chalked down to be different traits within basic Inklings (take Frye for example). With octopuses we're lucky to have a lot of iconic octopuses have very distinct patterns but the same overall body shape, so the devs have an easy time just putting those patterns on an Octoling and it conveys the idea through. With squids, you can definitely make species clear, but a lot of the identification comes from things like external photophores, really long mantle, weird fins, transparent body, scary suckers and whatever. Out of any squid, I could see them maybe doing japanese flying squid or firefly squid, but... both of those are already candidates for what Inklings ARE. So again idk how they could do that and clearly convey that "hey this is meant to be a different species" when Inklings already have so much random variety.

[rimalovegood]

Pokemon AU: The Seven Brothers as Pokemon trainers

A few years ago I made a similar set of headcanon’s for the MysMe characters and what kind of team they’d had if they were pokemon trainer and to this day it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written so I decided to do something similar for the Obey Me! characters.

(Since Tumblr hates links I’ll later reblog this with the source I used for the trainer ID’s but the Deviantart user is on each picture anyways)

Elite four member Lucifer wants to fight…

-The last and most powerful member of the Elite four, if you want to challenge Diavolo you have to very literally go through him and he has a team to be feared.

-Hydreigon and Houndoom are loosely based on Cerberus so I think they fit him very well, also they are known to be very aggressive when defied, just like Lucifer.

-Oricorio was a gift from Diavolo, he was really exicited about the idea of having matching pokemon with Lucifer and Barbatos and he chose the sensu form because it’s elegancy reminded him of Lucifer.

-Speaking of elegancy Persian and Tsareena are elegant royalty-like pokemon that give a prideful aura which fits Lucifer pretty well.

-Salamence it’s a little more difficult to explain. For this headcanon I asked friends that are pokemon fans but know nothing about otomes which pokemon reminded them of the deathly sins and the answer for pride was Salamence… at first I didn’t see it but the earlier stages of Salamence’s only wish it’s flying so on their final stage when it finally can fly there are proud of their wings. Also I can see Lucifer Salamence as reminder of his grief, a pokemon who left the ground and went into the sky for the angel that fell from there.

Elite four member Mammon wants to fight…

-he thinks being an Elite Four member is too much work but is also very proud of being one of the top trainers of the Devildom... just a little salty about being the first member thought; he knows he cannot beat Lucifer or Barbatos but surely he can beat Simeon, can’t he? (no, he can’t)

-His ace, Crobat is based a lot on how he is defined as a character. Zubat is a pokemon that’s usually looked down on and is often associated with evil teams but how does it evolves to Crobat and becomes it’s most powerful self? Throught friendship…and idk that reminds me a lot of Mammon.

-Sableye and Meowth are based on his sin. Sableye is known for tealing jewel (a very good companion for the avatar of greed) and Meowth is supposed to attract money.

-We all know this guy is a gambler and nobody can beat him at gambling, well, what’s the biggest prize you can get on pokemon casino on the older games? Yes, Porygon.

-Slowbro ended up on his team somewhat by accident, Mammon heard slowpoke tails were considered a delicatessen and not only that they grew back afterwards so he saw having one as a good investment….the problem was that just after he caught his slowpoke a Shellder attacked them and bit Slowpoke’s tail making it evolve into Slowbro.

-Scrafty has a similar aesthetic and it’s quick to get into fights, I figured out it would go well with Mammon.

Gym Leader Leviathan wants to fight…

-The water type gym leader, he is famous for the complex riddles every challenger must answer before even getting the chance to fight him.

-Has an old rivalry with Mammon and low key believes he should be on the elite four on his place

- As you might have guessed Seviper and Goldeen are inspired on Henry 1.0 and 2.0; he loves all his team but these two are the ones he had had for the longest and his favorites.

-Toxapex is basically Levi in pokemon form, a water/poison pokemon that when threatened hides on their shell and sends poison around, much like how Levi hides from the world on his room and acts all tsundere.

-For Levi raising one of the weakest pokemon into Gyarados was like farming on one of his MMORPGs and as he would do on one of those he completely outdid himself to the point it became his most powerful pokemon and the one every trainer fears whenever they enter his gym.

- Both Skrelp and Tentacruel are poison and water types and fit his character aesthetic pretty well (If you guessed the other reason why I chose Tentacruel you are reading too much Levi fancfiction….And I’m too)

Gym Leader Satan wants to fight…

-The leader of the Psychic type gym. His gym is themed around an escape room and only the ones who can solve the mystery can challenge the leader.

-Before becoming a gym leader he traveled through a lot of regions learning all he could about pokemon so his team includes species he caught on a bunch of different places.

-the psychic type is often associated with intelligence and knowledge so I think it fits him well.

-There is no much to say about Galarian rapidash, it’s a psychic unicorn. He had to have one.

-Alakazam is known to be more intelligent than humans, a fitting partner for someone who believes knowledge is power

-Grumpig and Darmanitan are inspired on his sin. Grumpig has very powerful psychic power that he unleash upon angered and Darmanitan is a very calm pokemon when he is on zen mode but unleash all his wrath when it goes into blaze mode.

-Satan it’s not only book smart, he is also an adventurer so of course he’d feel attracted to the mysterious Sigilyph  usually found on ancient ruins and inspired on the Nazca lines.

-the last member of the team was a little more difficult to pick. Gallade is basically a white knight which is a weird thing to call a demon but if there is one that can act as one that’s Satan

Gym Leader Asmodeus wants to fight…

-Fairy type gym leader, he is also part time a contest trainer and he is really good at it.

-of course he only surrounds himself by pokemon as beautiful as himself.

-Asmo’s personality is based on the duality between his sweet and beautiful exterior and his darker side he keeps well hidden. Most of his pokemon show this but particularly Mimikyu, a pokemon that in its desire to be loved takes the appearance of the famous Pikachu.

-Hatterene just like Asmo has power over people’s feelings and on it’s design it reminds me so much of Asmo I had to make it his ace.

-Aromatisse is a pokemon based on perfume, cancan dancers and plague doctors. It likes being the center of attention as much as Asmo, so they’d get along well

-Shiinotic, Mawile and Gliscor represent his most dangerous side, not for nothing his animal is an scorpion. Both Shiinotic and Mawile are pokemon that are beautiful to look at but if you get too close you’d get either poisoned or biten…and well, Gligar is a literal scorpion (Sorry, the plot doesn’t give us much to work wih on this side, Asmo’s content tent to focus on his more “look I’m beautiful” side)

Gym Leader Beelzebub wants to fight…

-Normal type gym leader

-His team just like him looks bulky but they are a bunch of sweethearts.

-Tauros was inspired on his horns and the way he barrels like a bull when angered

-I know Greedent literally had greed on the name but it represents his gluttony as Greedent is known for hoarding and eating all food available.

-Munchlax had a similar reason behind, they eat a lot but are also very active. Much like Beel.

-Beel caught a little Teddyursa when younger because he thought it was cute and he loved seeing the little bear napping along Belphie. As they trained and grew stronger Teddyursa evolved on his most powerful pokemon, Ursaring.

-Miltank was a gift from Belphie, the younger twin figured Beel would enjoy having a limitless fountain of food with him.

-Cutiefly, I know this one doesn’t like it belongs on the team but it’s a cutie and a fly so I have to give one to Beel.

Gym Leader Belphegor wants to fight…

-Dark type gym leader (you all know why)

-Komala lives all its life asleep hugging a log like it’s a pillow, if that doesn’t scream Belphie I don’t know what.

-Musharna is a pokemon that’s said to bring good dreams, the same way Belphie got Miltank for Beel, Beel caught Musharna to take care of Belphie.

-Zoroark and Liepard are known for being tricksters and liars, much like Belphie enjoys pranking Lucifer and on the beginning hides his true nature from the MC. Inkay was chosen for a very similar reason he is a cute squid but has the potential to turn into the very dangerous Malamar.

-I’m going to get angsty and spoiler-ry on this one so consider yourself warned. Absol is believed to attract disaster and misery just like Belphie blames himself for what happened to Lilith and avoids peolple because of his guilt to the point he ends up causing real misery when he killed MC.

The undatebles coming soon...

[thedreammweaver]

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 4 (Burton-Schumacherverse Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

(A/N: I was supposed to be taking a break from this since I actually have thalassophobia and ‘research’ for this chapter was taking a physical toll but this has now become a hyperfixation and separation was making me depressed so...my break was brief. I’m feeling a bit better now and it was definitely worth it.)

Chapter 3 Chapter 5

Warnings: thalassophobia tw, animal death, blood tw, panic attack

Ed was still engrossed in the book by breakfast, hardly noticing the idle chatter between his crew mates. “Doin’ a little homework there Ed?” Harvey asked, referring to the book in Ed’s hands, patting him hard on the back as he passed by. Ed shook his head and ignored the other man. Bruce came into the kitchen looking a bit frustrated “I heard thumping outside, it could be nothing but something may have come loose. Who wants to go check?”

Ed grumbled as he walked the length of the sub looking for anything missing or damaged, he’d definitely drawn the short straw. He felt chills go up his spine as he noticed bubbles coming from part of his suit helmet. “Hey, Bruce?” He asked. Bruce was inside watching scanners and whatnot and by the radio.

“Yeah?”

“There’s bubbles coming out of my hose here, am I okay?”

“Oh- yeah, I think you’re just dealing with a faulty valve. I’ll fix it once you’re inside, your air is fine don’t worry. Just don’t breathe too hard, it’ll fog your mask up.” Reassured by the knowledge he wasn’t going to drown Ed reached the front of the sub, he scanned around looking for something off but couldn’t find anything. He rolled his eyes and started back. The sub was about 360 feet long with a few doors placed on the outside, the closest one was seventy feet from him. As he slowly made progress back towards the opening he’d come out through he found his mind drifting to the impenetrable darkness all around him.

“Ed, I have your vitals pulled up, what’s going on with your heart rate?” Bruce asked.

“I’m just freaking out a little here.” Ed chuckled nervously “Could you stay on for a bit and talk to me so I can’t...think.”

“Sure.”

“How are things with you and Selina?”

Bruce got a little flustered but obliged “Good- They’re um- they’re good, we’re getting to spend more time together than we have in months, that’s for sure. Not a lot of good dating spots down here though.” He laughed. Ed felt a little calmer, now just fifty eight feet from the door.

“Did she ever tell you how I proposed that was a very hectic-“ Bruce suddenly fell silent “Ed, stop for a second.” His tone had switched to dead serious so Ed did as he asked. “Not to sound cryptic but you’re not alone out there. Something big just came into the scanner, about forty feet long. It should be above you.” The scanner picked up everything within 200 feet so Ed could guess that was roughly how far away it was “Just keep your head down and take your time, I’d be willing to bet it’s only a sperm whale or something like that.”

“Kinda deep for a sperm whale...” Pamela mumbled, she wasn’t close enough to the radio for Ed to hear.

Ed felt nervous but kept moving as Bruce suggested. If he’d been on land he could’ve easily sprinted but of course humans were so terribly adapted for the water and he could only go so fast. Harvey came over having heard the scanner beeping since something large was in range. Bruce’s brow furrowed as the longer the animal stayed in one place the clearer the shape on the scanner became, it went from a a forty foot blob to a shape more triangular, the end of it splitting up and forking out in many directions, Bruce’s heart dropped as he and Harvey reached the same realization simultaneously “Jesus Christ, is that a fucking squid??” Unfortunately Harvey was close enough for Ed to hear him loud and clear. Ed immediately remembered the comment about his book at breakfast “Oh, that’s really hilarious, Harvey.” Ed shook his head, the corners of his mouth turning up in annoyance “Has anyone told you you’d make a great comedian? I’d guess not since you’re really not that-“ Ed out of reflex had looked up, the light on his helmet at full brightness since he’d been looking for damaged or possibly fallen equipment, expecting to see nothing or at the least the underbelly of a whale but instead he faintly saw suckers as big as frisbees about 160 feet above him “...funny..” he absently completely his sentence, most parts of his mind now on autopilot. He quickly put his head down and dimmed his light, hoping the thing didn’t see him. Without realizing he had come to a stop at fifty two feet from the door back into the sub. “Forget everything I said about taking your time, get back in here now.” Bruce said. Ed felt himself beginning to panic, trying to keep his breathing calm as he couldn’t afford to loose visibility now. He went as fast as he could despite everything in him wanting to curl into a ball. “It’s coming towards the ship now,” Bruce said “It’s eighty feet and closing, get the hell out of there.”

If Ed had the presence of mind he would snap at Bruce for assuming he was trying to do anything but get back to the door.

“Sixty feet-“

Ed felt himself freezing up “Bruce, I can’t do this.”

“Don’t say that. Forty feet-“

“It’s closer to the door than I am! I ca-“ Ed was cut off by something huge swooping by the ship very fast causing a current that made the ship move and sent Ed flying. He was relieved as he remembered he’d tethered himself to the ship earlier, Harvey chiding him for being paranoid, but the relief was short lived as he felt the tether snap and himself continue to spin away from the sub. He tried desperately to reorient himself or grab onto something but it was of course no use and so commenced the desperate clawing and pathetic wiggling of a human quite literally far out of their depth. When he finally came to an almost stop he noticed at some point during his spinning his glasses had come off and he couldn’t get them back on without taking his helmet off which wasn’t an option. Realizing he was stranded and unable to see made him panic, unable to keep from fully hyperventilating now and clouding his mask, obscuring his vision further. Not that he’d be able to see with the pitch black around him on all sides. Just as he’d begun to imagine what drowning would be like for him he felt something brush against his back and then start pushing against him. That’s it, he thought, he was dead, he was about to be eaten. But the thing behind him just kept pushing, he could only assume it was taking him somewhere to be eaten. Though soon he could make out the lights of the ship and felt himself being pushed onto it, then he wasn’t being touched anymore. After gathering himself for a moment he started feeling around for the door. The lights kept catching something red in the water around him which he couldn’t make out. As he felt around he jumped back a bit when his hand landed on a tentacle against the ship in front of him. There was more red around it. As he cautiously inspected further he discovered the tentacle....wasn’t attached to anything. He shakily stepped over it and felt like he’d gone from the deepest layer of hell to paradise as he finally felt the door of the sub.

“Just leave him alone for a while, Dent.” Bruce ordered, barring Harvey from entering Ed’s small sleeping quarters.

“He has to tell me what happened out there.” Harvey insisted.

“He’s in shock. He shouldn’t be made to recount anything too soon.” Victor insisted.

“Oh what are you now, a psychologist? Whatever, I’ll ask him later...” Harvey huffed before walking away. Ed was curled up in bed, having not spoken for the last hour. Bruce walked away as well but Victor came in “Try to get some rest, Ed. You’re okay now.” He said softly before leaving. Somehow Ed managed to sleep.

About forty five minutes later Ed stirred awake to vibrations shaking the ship a bit, he was going to brush it off and return to sleep but he soon recognized it as the same vibrations they’d felt when Oswald was first trying to make contact. He yawned as he crawled out of bed and grabbed his glasses before making his way to the main room of the sub.

Victor was at the computers once more and everyone else was sort of hovering around him. “Did I miss anything?” Ed asked.

“No,” Victor assured “It is just greeting us again.”

Harvey wanted to take control of the conversation this time “I need to know about it’s species, where are the rest of them, are they aquatic, that kind of stuff.”

‘Are there others like you?’ Victor typed.

‘Nothing is like me.’

‘Where is your species?’

‘I do not know. They left me.’

Pam frowned, feeling sorry for the creature again.

‘Does your species usually inhabit water?’

There was a delay, like a pause someone would take if they were being flooded with painful memories.

‘I evolved.’

“So basically it’s a freak.” Harvey said flatly, that was met with glares from the rest. “Oh, don’t be so sensitive. What I want to know is if it has met humans before how do we have no record of an enormous monster?”

Victor rolled his eyes, as he typed, Harvey was definitely dampening the wonder of this experience.

‘You have met entities like us before?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re quite big, yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘Entities like to keep record of big things, why is there no record of you?’

‘Wasn’t big then. Had only witnessed five turns of this rock and one equivalent off of it.’

Ed puzzled “Five turns...I think it means years.”

“So it was left here when it was only one?” Pam had a very sad tone to her voice as she absently pulled at the slightly too long sleeves of the green sweater she was in.

‘No more askings from entities.’

That made Harvey start fuming “Yeah, right, ask it-“

“Chill out,” Bruce ordered “You already have more information than you did a few minutes ago, give it a break.”

“Who are you to interfere with my operation?”

“Your operation which is being facilitated by my ship...” Bruce reminded. Harvey glared at him before storming out, knowing he couldn’t really argue.

Another message appeared on the screen that floored Ed.

‘Lost entity is safe now? I brought it back.’

“It saved me on purpose...” Ed mumbled, he’d though maybe the squid had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and gotten eaten by something and...he had been blocking out the part where a mysterious force pushed him back.

‘Yes, entity is safe now. Thank you.’ Victor typed, marveling at the care and apparent gentleness Oswald possessed. There was another delay.

‘You help me now?’

‘What is the matter?’

‘Hurts.’

The medical doctor in Victor was now seeing Oswald as a potential patient which was surreal. Pamela cleared her throat “It might’ve been injured while attacking the oil rig or by another predator, I doubt they appreciate suddenly being demoted and their whole ecosystem changing. Some of them might be trying to fight back. I’d be willing to bet a lot of wild life has been out of sorts since the cave opened.” She said, going to look out the front window.

‘How were you hurt?’

‘Sharp whale.’

“What the hell is a sharp whale?” Selina muttered.

“Shark.” Pam said.

“Yeah, it probably means a shark.” Bruce nodded.

“...Shark...” Pamela squeaked once more.

“Yes, Pam, we heard y-“ Bruce stopped as he turned to look at Pamela and in turn followed her gaze out the window. Barreling towards them was a shark that had to be at least a hundred feet long, jaws open. “Oh..” was all Bruce could say before there were teeth colliding with the ship.

[liquidminecraft]

End Update Ideas

The End as a dimension in Minecraft is in dire need of an update, and I’d like to throw about some ideas and suggestions as to what that could include.

Dragon

Firstly, outside of the End. The Overworld and Nether need to have things that hint at the existence of the Ender Dragon. This new archaeology mechanic appears to have that as a pottery piece, but it needs more. A player that has never heard of Minecraft before should be able to become aware of the End, of the Ender Dragon, and that the Ender Dragon should be destroyed. On that note too, while story and Minecraft don’t really mesh that well together, we need some kind of motivation to kill the Ender Dragon so it doesn’t feel like we’re barging into something’s home to murder it. The Strongholds could be made a bit more inspiring than just a dark hall infested by the generic darkness spawning gang.

As for the Ender Dragon fight itself, I think it’s fine right now. I suppose the platform you spawn on when you enter the End should be tweaked to always spawn on the island instead of at a distance forcing you to make a mad scramble bridge-making exercise to the island.

World Generation

The islands of the End need a serious overhaul. Right now they are nothing more than just white blobs. They really need to take advantage of the floating islands thing and have far more vertical variation. Force a player to build towers up to the next one, or to feather-fall down. There also should be some cave generation inside the islands. There should be some new blocks added to the generation to break up the monotony. Firstly I think gravel and packed ice could fit in here and there, though maybe some new blocks as well.

End Biomes

Like the Nether Update, the End’s landscape will best be broken up with the introduction of new biomes. The world generation should work so that each island has its own biome without sharing. Here are a few suggestions of mine:

End Barrens: The old End, spiced up with a new worldgen a few extra blocks as mentioned above. Also, the central island with the End Dragon can remain untouched. Small patches of chorus trees can still show up, but reduced.

Chorus Forest: A very lush biome. Several varieties of chorus tree grow here. Dominating the islands are giant trees at least as large as the obsidian spikes in the dragon fight, with roots spreading throughout the entire biome. The usual variety fill the biome, and there are smaller shrublike plants. While the regular trees can be smelted into purpur bricks, this giant tree provides you with purple planks, a deeper purple than the Crimson Forest planks. There are mods that add a purple grass to the End, but this looks hideous. A more vine-like effect on the Endstone would be better. I’m on the fence on whether the forest should just rest only on the top of the islands or dangle from the bottom as well. There should definitely be two varieties of forest, purple and that teal of the End Portal frame, so maybe these two forests can fill those two roles. The growth spreads to the island caves in any case. Also, since it’s called a “Chorus” forest the background noises need to be an alien choir.

Ice Caverns: These islands have very large caves, which are filled with ice and water. These caverns have their own little dangers, but Endermen will never spawn here providing a bit of an End oasis. Their exteriors are poorly distinguished from the End Barrens; you have to go digging for them.

Some additional ideas could come from different shapes of islands. Thin wafer islands, shattered islands, stuff like that. I have a couple of more ideas that revolve around certain blocks or mobs, which I’ll elaborate on when I get to them.

Generated Structures

Gravel bridges: I’ve always loved the gravel ledges that spawn around the Nether that fall down if you disturb them. So I feel we need them to spawn as a deliberate dangerous terrain features. Large structures composed purely of gravel will sometimes span the gap between End islands. The slightest disturbance, such as an Enderman picking up a piece, will send it plummeting into the void.

Enderman Settlements: Places similar to the Bastions in which the Endermen live. Maybe the End Cities could be repurposed, I don’t know. One idea I had is that they would live in much larger structures made from hollowed islands. Or maybe they’re overtly artificial islands. Have some mechanics to allow for peaceful interaction with my Enderboys.

Ruined Nether Portals: Similar to the ones in the Overworld, these portals were used by the Endermen in their first ventures to the Nether before they could do it individually. Built taller than Overworld portals, and have Endstone bricks instead of regular stone. The Nether landscape spreading back through is Warped Forest themed, with the Nylium and even some Warped Fungus trees, since that’s the Nether biome they live in.

Ruined Summoning Circles: Shattered obsidian spikes that clearly formed a structure similar to the central End island. I took this from an End mod that managed to get something worthwhile in.

Blocks and Items

Not every block, but some key ones. I’m more imaginative with landscapes and mobs than mechanics.

Purpur but Teal: Maybe called Turqur or something. Unlike Purpur which is baked (which is pretty cool and unique honestly) I feel this should be an ore to mine out. The End is sorely lacking that right now. Like Purpur it’s just decorative, but hey we need a teal brick.

Chiseled Blocks: Chisled variants of Endstone, Purpur, and the new teal one, because I love the pictures chisled blocks always have.

Purple and Teal wood: Like I mentioned before. Logs and planks and all that.

Some kind of leaf block: For the trees. I had an idea they’d be some sort of metallic structure, like natural solar panels or something. No clue other than that.

Mercury: A third liquid for the game, since Endermen hate water and the End is too cold for lava. Lots of mods add some sort of purple lava, but I feel something more real was in order. It should have some unique flow mechanics. You get a poison effect if you swim in it. Rivers of it flow in the forest biomes, and maybe it can have a swamp biome dedicated to it with large lakes and weird End pads floating on it to step on.

Mobs

Endermen: Have a severely reduced spawning. Currently they swarm the End milling about doing nothing, but since they’re a sapient species (we assume) they should act as such. They still swarm the central island, but in the outer islands they spawn only in little patrols like Piglins do in the Nether, and in larger groups in specialised End Settlements.

End slime: Since there’s Magma Cubes in the Nether acting as Nether-slimes, there should be an End equivalent too. I feel they should be like balloons; they start as the smallest form and grow larger and deadlier until the largest one just dies.

Undead Endermen: I’ve always been fascinated by the undead afflicting different Minecraft species; humans, villagers, piglins, and I feel the Endermen should not be immune. I’m leaning towards zombie Endermen spawning in the darkest caves of the lowest islands.

Enderswarms: Some kind of flying insect about the size of the player. Have a “hive” biome dedicated all to themselves where they build their nests, introducing new kinds of blocks like some sort of Endwax. Can also spawn in little hunting parties across the End, and are always hostile. I don’t want to imply they’re a sapient species, just complicated.

A passive flyer: Like how you have the Strider to traverse Magma seas, there should be something you can tame in the End to ride and fly about. It should be very difficult to tame. I’m picturing something like a squid, but made deliberately different from the Ghasts.

Ice predator: An aquatic mob that spawns in the ice caves biome I mentioned. Lurks in the water and is super dangerous, just to keep you on your toes inside those caves.

I suppose Endmites should be able to spawn naturally. Every biome that I’ve mentioned should have a unique mob to inhabit it and make it feel like a living place.