#someone tell me if they want this

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[hinamie]

"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"

some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3

[quadrantadvisor]

Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.

He closes Wikipedia.

That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.

[supernowa-art]

old men<3

[drawerbread]

today i offer you: gideon. tomorrow? who knows.

(close-up below)

[bluewolfangel01]

Mc: *approaches Beel, looking dejected*

Mc: "Beel... Can I ask you for a favor?"

Beel: "Of course."

Lucifer: "Why is Beel holding Mc like that?"

Beel: *holding Mc super tight, with slight crazed eyes*

Belphie: "Mc asked Beel to hold them tight as if he just found them almost dead."

Lucifer: "I see.... Are they're alright?"

Belphie: "Yeah, especially now because of Beel."

Lucifer: "Very well then, as long as they're fine."

Mc: "thanks Beel."

Mc: *hugs Beel tighter and buries their head more into his chest*

Beel: *buries his face into Mc's hair*

Beel: "anytime Mc"

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[mccromy]

Disciple Shen Yuan au.

As it's been established before, Shen Jiu is an incredibly traumatized man, who took that cycle of abuse and made it a snowball turned avalanche of abuse.

He made up survival rules that served him well as a child on the streets, but only isolated him as a Peak Lord. He's paranoid, hateful and erratic. He's well aware that he's a bad man, he sees himself as the scorpion asking a frog for a ride, and he can't see that he does not sting because such is his nature, he stings because he believes with such certainty he knows the frog will drown him. And even if he went mad and decided to be good, he wouldn't even know where to start.

We learn by example, and we're well aware of the examples to follow available for him.

On that note, now that he's Peak Lord, he recreates his own trauma as the abuser. It gives him a sense of power, and it makes things fair, because if he couldn't have a kind master, then why should they (his disciples). It would be unjust, to let them have what he didn't, it wouldn't make sense, because now that he's at the top he sees how easy it could be to not do things. He doesn't need to whip these children, to make them kneel under the sun for ours on end. But he does anyways, he doesn't derive amusement from it, but if Qiu Jianluo could just not pay attention to him when he had the choice and did anyway, why would he give his disciples the reprieve he didn't have?

And he knows what is done to cruel masters. He knows that if given the chance, those cowering pathetic creatures will turn on him.

He won't let them.

In the end, he does not regard any of them as his students. And when Luo Binghe arrives, Shen Qingqiu ends up behaving as a less predatory Qiu Jianluo; he places Luo Binghe in the role of Xiao Jiu and Ning Yingying as Qiu Haitang. And, in the back of his mind he feels he can understand Qiu Jianluo for the first time (he's wrong, the monster Qiu Jianluo was and the monster Shen Jiu became are not the same. But Shen Qingqiu always thought he understood people very well, never realizing that what he read on everybody's faces were his own thoughts reflected back at him.) because he just can't not pay attention to that boy. Because Xiao Jiu had not a moment's rest under Qiu Jianluo so why should Luo Binghe ever find relief under Shen Qingqiu? If Xiao Jiu was a thing to be used, then isn't he so kind to make of Luo Binghe a beast instead?

Shen Yuan arrives, perhaps before Luo Binghe does, but it doesn't matter. Shen Qingqiu takes this boy in after being urged by Yue Qingyuan for his lack of showing up at the disciple entrance trial.

And, from the beginning one thing is clear.

Shen Yuan despises Shen Qingqiu.

Every new disciple that reaches his peak seems eager, nervous, desperate to show Shen Qingqiu how good they are. They look at him with awe and tentative hope, as if Shen Qingqiu would ever play their game. As if he'd ever give them what they feel entitled to but do not deserve.

Shen Yuan looks at him like he knows exactly what kind of master Shen Qingqiu is, like he knows exactly what Shen Qingqiu is thinking of, well aware of what the future entails for him.

And as they perform the tea ceremony, Shen Qingqiu looks at this boy and finally understands why Wu Yanzi saw a mistreated slave and decided he was too funny to let go.

Shen Qingqiu takes Shen Yuan as his disciple. He drinks what's clearly a tea brewed to offend, and for the first time on his tenure as a Peak Lord, drinks with the intent to become a teacher.

But we learn by example. The previous Qing Jing Peak Lord might've been his Shizun in name, but in his pathetic life Shen Jiu only ever recognized one teacher.

And Wu Yanzi loved to play games.

Shen Qingqiu smiles kindly, a hint of amusement showing in his eyes. The child looks at him as if he's gone insane, and Shen Qingqiu tilts his head as if he finds it so endearing.

"Excellently brewed, Shen Yuan, this master formally accepts you as his disciple. From now on this one is your Shizun, and you'll refer to him as such. Your Shixiongs and Shijies will become your family, and Qing Jing your home." Shen Yuan has grown pale, defiance turned into fear. But such is not the face of a boy scared as he wanders in the dark, uncertain of what's ahead. That's the face of someone who knows exactly what kind of animal lurks in the shadows from the way its teeth glint under meager moonlight. His mouth's become a tight line, breathing controlled to not hitch. He looks grim, not afraid. He was not expecting this, but knows how to play along. Shen Qingqiu inclines his head in a shallow bow. "Welcome, Disciple Shen, to my Qing Jing Peak."

The boy unclenches his jaw and answers drily, "this one thanks Shizun."

Shen Yuan's voice is flat, like Shen Jiu's when greeted Wu Yanzi. Shen Qingqiu grinned just as Wu Yanzi did.

Shen Qingqiu forgets something though,

He's not Qiu Jianluo, and he's not Wu Yanzi. And he might've been right in another life, with Luo Binghe and a self fulfilling prophecy of cruel masters dying at the hands of ungrateful wretched boys.

But he doesn't know Shen Yuan is not tied to a narrative, that he can recognize a self fulfilling prophecy from a mile away and turn tail the opposite way.

He forgets Shen Yuan is not Shen Jiu.

What Shen Yuan is, is freaking out, shouting "WHATTHEFUCK WHAT. WHAT. THE. FUCK??????" inside his head.

He smells a fucking rat. And he's NOT buying whatever you're selling Shen Qingqiu!!! Ptoo ptoo!! He's going to compare whatever manual you give him with other disciple's!!! from ANOTHER Peaks!!! SYSTEM?? SYSTEM ARE YOU GLITCHING??? IS HE GLITCHING??

[Host may rest in peace knowing Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu is acting perfectly in character ^w^]

(What do you mean rest in peace, are you telling me to R.I.P?? Is he going to kill me??? This is not the two bit scumbag I was promised??? What the FUCK you mean perfectly in character???)

[He is large, he contains multitudes.]

(Is he thinking about killing me or not???)

[This System cannot answer that.]

(Throw me a bone.)

[... Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu will behave differently towards his victim depending on said victim's profile.]

(VICTIM???)

[Whoops uwu. This System meant to say disciple! Every student has different needs! A good teacher knows how to adapt!]

And thus begins Shen Yuan's life at Qing Jing Peak.

Shen Qingqiu does give Shen Yuan a fake manual. Shen Yuan compares it to every manual he can get his hands on, and goes AHA! At the utter bullshit inside the book Shen Qingqiu gave him. End ups stealing one of Qian Cao, glues the cover of a Qing Jing peak manual on it. Glues the Quan Cao manual's cover on the Qing Jing manual lose pages. Takes the fake manual to Shen Qingqiu with the intent to confront him with a gotcha! Shen Qingqiu makes worried sounds. Oh, how could this happen, how dangerous! Is disciple Shen hurt? And burns the manual in front of Shen Yuan's aghast face, effectively getting rid of all evidence. Then apologizes and, smirking, hands him a new manual.

(Cunt.)

Said manual is slightly altered, but only midway, so is more difficult to spot it, yet still managing to damage the reader's cultivation at a crucial point.

Shen Yuan uses the pages to make paper planes and, instead of throwing them, he viciously stomps on them.

(Shang Qinghua shudders at the distance and then glances around to see if Mobei-Jun is sneaking a peak through his portals again. Over a decade Shang Qinghua has been at his service and he still randomly opens a little hole in the fabric of space to check Shang Qinghua is not betraying him! If his King keeps this up he just might! Hmph! ((He won't)))

Shen Qingqiu keeps being his acidic self with everybody else, but by playing mind games with Shen Yuan he accidentally places him on the spot of most favored disciple, outshining Ning Yingying, someone who Shen Qingqiu actually likes, because when Shen Qingqiu likes someone he's not sharp and cutting with them, but with Shen Yuan he looks dotting. It's driving poor Shen Yuan up the wall.

Not only nobody believes him, but the apparent favoritism has isolated him from other disciples who, driven by jealousy, try to sabotage him. Shen Qingqiu notices this and it half amuses him, half makes him feel a strange sort of anger he cannot understand.

As a favored disciple, Shen Yuan starts to accompany him in what used to be solo hunts, and in one of every three night hunts Shen Qingqiu sets Shen Yuan up for failure, grave injury, or death if he's been too annoying.

After some time being tossed around like a mouse by his evil cat of a Shizun, Shen Yuan starts to play along. He works himself to the ground to excel in every subject Shen Qingqiu tried to sabotage him in, and aided by his knowledge as a transmigrator, he succeeds. He follows Shen Qingqiu around like a shadow, delighting in the stressed twitch of his eyebrows. Gets too into it and starts playing it up as a good little henchman. He basically goes "good one boss!" To everything Shen Qingqiu says.

"Qi Shimei claims to be uninterested in this Shixiong's affairs, yet she's up to date on every single drop of gossip surrounding him."

And before Qi Qingqi can snap at him, Shen Yuan peaks from behind Shen Qingqiu's back and chirps:

"Qi-Shigu should be too mature to try to attract Shizun's attention with such ploys! She ought to send this disciple a letter and he will make sure to arrange a private meeting for both of you!"

Shen Qingqiu hates it. But he's nothing if not adaptable.

"If Mu-Shidi is done, this master has matters to attend to."

"Shixiong, this one is worried, your constitution has been worsening these past few years and, not only as your doctor, but as a—"

"As a what, Shidi? Sect brother? Friend?" sneers Shen Qingqiu.

"As a mother?" Pipes Shen Yuan, "is Mu-shishu Shizun's mother?"

"Ah, Shizi—?"

"Such nagging can only come from a mother's mouth!"

"Shidi is not this one's mother and should mind his place,"

"Shishu should shave that moustache, too."

Sometimes Shen Qingqiu finds him funny, sometimes he needs to hurt him.

He makes Shen Yuan use his qi to strengthen his hands as he makes him submerge them inside a pot of boiling water, as "training". After a few private training sessions, Shen Yuan starts to succeed in keeping them from burning. Shen Qingqiu surprises him with a pot of boiling oil. Shen Yuan stubbornly complies and succeeds. Hands red and stinging, but the skin remains intact, if tender

Shen Qingqiu is both disappointed, and a little bit relieved. But more than anything, he's angry. Had it been him, at Shen Yuan's age, the oil would've melted the flesh off his bones.

No matter what he throws at Shen Yuan, the boy comes up top, and even if he doesn't, he heals so quickly (he doesn't know about the Qian Cao manual), and it is as if he never failed in the first place.

Shen Qingqiu ends up losing patience and whips him three years into this game. Shen Yuan is fifteen. And as he is lowered down he glances back at Shen Qingqiu from his shoulder and says, pale and shaking, "I win," and throws up.

Shen Qingqiu qi deviates.

Shen Yuan looks at him, as he bleeds and convulses and thinks about letting him die.

He crawls towards him and, with the healing knowledge he's gathered through the years, stops the qi deviation before it turns lethal.

Then he passes out.

Ming Fan finds them and runs for help.

The rumor of the Qing Jing peak lord qi deviating after whipping his beloved disciple out of sheer horror and grief spreads like wildfire. Shen Qingqiu and Shen Yuan avoid each other for a month.

What does Luo Binghe think of all this?

At first, he admired Shen Yuan, favored disciple as he was. Then he envied him, for he was the only one Shen Qingqiu never hurt.

Then he felt ashamed, for Shen Yuan was kind and worked so, so hard, he deserved to be favored. Luo Binghe saw how the others treated him, and that only made him admire him more. Shen Yuan rose above his circumstances even when others attempted to bring him down.

Shen Yuan cross referenced an older Qing Jing disciple's manual with a Qiong Ding and a An Ding peak one, and his own Qian Cao manual, and wrote Luo Binghe a personalized manual (he also learned Shen Qingqiu kept faulty manuals around?? And sometimes gave them away?? WHY???? ((Shen Jiu confiscated them during his tenure as head disciple and never got rid of them. He did give one away accidentally, but Luo Binghe's and Shen Yuan's he gave on purpose)). Luo Binghe cries and hugs his kind, beautiful Shixiong. His cultivation improves immensely after that.

Shen Qingqiu notices this, notices the new manual and Shen Yuan's, who's become his Head Disciple, handwriting. He summons Shen Yuan to the bamboo house and berates him.

At first, Shen Yuan believes Shen Qingqiu is shouting at him (he lost his patience!! Shen Yuan 2, Shizun 0!) for not letting him kill Luo Binghe. Then he thinks it's actually for defying his authority.

Then, it dawns on him.

Shen Yuan had told him Luo Binghe had enough talent to surpass him and he shouldn't stifle it. Shen Qingqiu hissed an incredulous: "Then how will you fight him off when he turns on you?!"

Shen Qingqiu was going purple on the face over the thought of Shen Yuan giving Luo Binghe the tools to eventually hurt him

At first, Shen Yuan had been offended on Luo Binghe's behalf. Then, because was Shen Qingqiu trying to sow discord between them or something?

Then he remembered that in PIDW Shen Qingqiu gave Luo Binghe a faulty manual too, that he poured tea on him after Luo Binghe earnestly told him about his mother. Remembered how when he first began his good one boss! routine, Shen Qingqiu tensed imperceptibly when Shen Yuan trailed after him. How he's come to know this man, the way his eyes glint when he is satisfied and how his hands shake when there's a qi deviation incoming. How his lips twist when displeased, and how his breathing hitches when he is in danger. He's come to know his paranoia. He's learnt to recognize the way this man wears fear and realizes that that's what he's seeing now.

Shen Qingqiu is scared.

And when Shen Yuan looks back to what he knows of his Shizun, the things he's done in this life and the other. Many behaviors who seemed erratic and unpredictable, suddenly make sense when framed by fear.

And now he realizes that Shen Qingqiu is not only afraid of Luo Binghe, but he is also afraid of Shen Yuan.

But more than that, he's afraid for Shen Yuan.

Suddenly this game they play is not so fun anymore.

It never should've been.

(It might've never been, but Shen Yuan can be just as blind as his Shizun when he doesn't want to face the cruel reality he was reborn in.)

[dootznbootz]

Penelope is also Athena's pet/blorbo/special little mortal/etc. and if you think otherwise you're straight up wrong.

You're also wrong if you think Athena only likes Penelope because of Odysseus and/or Telemachus. As if Athena didn't see a young Penelope pull some shit and immediately think "Oh! Another mind to mold! C'mere you! Let's do some riddles and weaving!". Athena was happy that two of her favorite pets have met and fell in love!

[kidovna]

Mike wheeler And The Gay Feelings

For @byler-week day 2 (communicating, purple+green)

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[basalting]

after jasons death bruce "accidentally" slips harvey a crowbar while hes in arkham and kisses his cheek and says, voice soft and colder than ice, "make him hurt for me honey"

it takes 6 guards to sedate and drag two face off the joker the next time two face sees him and for the rest of their lives as soon as harvey sees the joker he goes after him like a rabid dog.

[speench]

nsbu fans listen to me, listen, most of the cast hasn't had an Ify moment yet where they talk directly to their ?? alter egos?? and before we see dynamics unfold with other characters I need everyone to consider: Liv and Kingskin as unwilling father and his newfound ride or die child trope that is all

[mikeyfrickinway]

Since I'm almost done working on em here's my demolition lovers costumes so far!

I started this in like mid/late March I believe

This is my first time doing beading ever, I probably should have started with something smaller or even tested on some scrap but I am nothing if not stupidly ambitious.

I wanna say this is roughly 14hours of work so far, I still want to add more to the dress and possibly make some accessories, we will see what I can get done by Saturday lol

[stellarspecter]

Jon Matteson and Joey Richter in Nerdy Prudes Must Die (2023) / The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (2018)