#someone talk to me I promise I'm more awkward than you
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strwbwrrybunny · 2 days ago
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all mine. ellie w.
nsfw. your cute girlfriend doesn’t cut it, but your ex does. drabble!
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regret courses through you like a raging river, each pulse in your sweaty palm amplifying the weight of the phone. the ring pierces through the silence, a relentless reminder of your impending doom. anxiously, you gnaw at your lip, the taste of iron mingling with your mounting fear. "i'm being ridiculous," you mutter, your thumb hovering over the end call button. but then, the line clicks open, and her voice, sharp and slightly irritated, cuts through the tension.
"hello?"
her tone is justified; after months of silence and the last encounter being a screaming match, she has every right to be annoyed. your mouth goes dry, and you scramble for words, your mind a chaotic mess. "you fuckin' prank calling me?" ellie snaps, her voice heavy with exhaustion. it's three in the morning, and she doesn't have time for games.
"no, no," you stammer, "i just wanted to talk to you." you facepalm, feeling utterly pathetic. you can hear her shifting in bed, her irritation palpable. "right, and you decided to do that on a random tuesday at three in the morning? bye, y/n." her voice is cold, dismissive.
"wait, no! el, please," you beg, your voice cracking. you don’t care how pathetic you sound. "you have two minutes," she sighs, the sound of rustling sheets indicating she’s sitting up. "i-uh, fuck. can you come over?" the words spill out, faster than you intend, a jumbled mess of desperation.
ellie’s not dumb. she knows exactly why you’re calling her. the unspoken truth hangs heavy in the air, thick with tension and unfulfilled desires. you want her, need her in a way that no one else can satisfy.
she always promised that no one could fuck you like she did, and she was right. latest example: the girl you’d been dating for a month, the shy girl from the bookstore where you worked. you felt dirty inviting ellie over right after you’d been with someone else. the girl was always awkward with the sex toys you’d provided, fumbling and unsure, her nervous laughter only adding to the discomfort. she tried her best, but it was clear she was out of her depth.
eventually, you had to fake an orgasm just to get it over with, feeling a pang of emptiness as you did. ellie was right once again, and you hated it. the regret and desire intertwine inside you, creating a potent mix that leaves you breathless, waiting for her response. the memory of ellie’s touch, her confidence, and the way she knew exactly what you needed floods back, making the wait even more unbearable.
the silence on the other end is deafening, each second stretching into an eternity. you can almost hear her thinking, weighing her options. finally, she exhales, a soft sound that sends a shiver down your spine. "you know this is a bad idea, right?" she says, her voice softer now, almost resigned.
"i know," you admit, your voice barely a whisper. "but i need to see you. please, ellie."
there's a long pause, and you can imagine her sitting there, running a hand through her hair, contemplating whether to give in to the pull that always seemed to draw you two back together. "fine," she finally says, her voice tinged with a mixture of frustration and something else—something that gives you a glimmer of hope. "i'll be there in twenty."
the call ends, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. the anticipation gnaws at you, a mix of dread and excitement bubbling in your chest. you glance around your apartment, suddenly acutely aware of the mess. you start tidying up, trying to make the place look somewhat presentable, but your mind keeps drifting to ellie.
you remember the first time you met her, how she walked into the room with that confident stride, her presence commanding attention. and then there was her bike—sleek, powerful, a perfect extension of her personality. you were drawn to her like a moth to a flame, unable to resist the allure of her confidence and the way she seemed to see right through you.
as you wait, the memories flood back—late-night rides, whispered confessions, the way her lips felt against yours. the good times, the bad times, and everything in between. you wonder if this time will be any different, if the cycle of attraction and regret will finally break, or if you're doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
“can’t believe i’m doing this,” you mutter, sinking into the plush sofa and tossing your phone aside absentmindedly. the cushions envelop you, offering a fleeting comfort that contrasts with the turmoil inside. “fuck.” you pull at the frayed strings of your old pajama pants, the fabric worn thin and soft from countless washes, and glance down at the t-shirt that’s been begging to see the trash for months. it’s a relic of better times, now faded and stretched, much like your patience.
pushing yourself off the couch, you make your way to your cozy bedroom, the familiar creak of the floorboards underfoot. the soft glow of the bedside lamp casts a warm, inviting light, creating a stark contrast to the chaos in your mind. sliding open the closet door, you sift through the hangers, fingers brushing against various fabrics. you’re looking for something to wear, something sexy but not too sexy. you didn’t want to seem like a try-hard.
after a moment, you pull out a sleek black nightgown, simple yet seductive, and hold it up to the light, wondering if it will strike the right balance. the soft, silky fabric feels cool against your skin. you run your fingers over the delicate lace trim, appreciating the craftsmanship and the way it catches the light. the nightgown drapes elegantly, and you know this is the one.
it was almost comical how fast ellie had your face squished into the headboard as she fucked you with the pink strap, her soft moans droned out by your fucked out babbling.
“new girl don’t make you nut? that’s a damn shame.”
you could barely understand the words through her panting and the sound of her hips slapping into yours, but you caught the message.
you couldn't get it out of your mind, though. how did she know you had a new girlfriend? and more importantly, how did she know she was shit in bed? you weren’t exactly sure, and you knew if you asked you would probably receive an answer you weren’t fond of. you tried to push the thoughts from your head, but it wasn’t easy to focus with her thrusts becoming even more erratic, her fingers digging deeper into your hips.
but she did have a point, didn't she? you'd never come that hard from any other partner.
you could feel yourself nearing your second climax as she relentlessly pounded your sweet spot. you were almost embarrassed with how much your body was shaking and spasming, but with ellie it was nothing to be ashamed of. she loved seeing you completely vulnerable for her. spread out, taking each deep thrust like the good girl you were.
"you like that baby? huh? tell me you love it," her words were more demanding than they were questioning, your eyes crossed in bliss.
"i-i lov-e it! oh god!" you choke out, she smiled at your reaction, her chest pressed against your back as she moved you down to lay flat, the new angle making her thrusts even more unforgiving as your knees shook in pleasure. you let out a pathetic squeal, a mixture of spit and tears on the hardwood.
"yeah you do baby, takin’ it like a good girl," she pulled you up so your back was against her chest, the hand that was on your hip was now rubbing fast circles around your clit. your body twitched as you moaned loudly, a familiar feeling burning in your stomach.
“tell me you’ve missed me.”
you have. fuck, you’ve missed her a lot.
"missed yo-y-mm-m g-gonna c-cum ellie-ellie!" you moaned, the feeling becoming too much for you.
"it's okay, cum for me," your hips jolted and your body went rigid, the knot inside you snapping as your vision went white, the only thing keeping you grounded was ellie's arms holding you steady. you gasped as the feeling overtook your body, ellie slowing her movements to help you ride it out.
you came for a second time that night, your eyes rolling back and tears of ecstasy staining your face. she slowed down as your body calmed down, her hand leaving your hip to gently stroke the back of your thigh. you couldn't believe this girl.
she had you crying for her.
she slowly pulled out, watching in amusement as your legs still twitched. you felt the weight shift on the bed as she got up, the pink strap hitting the floor with a thud. you stayed in the position she left you, unable to move after being so thoroughly fucked.
she returned moments later, wiping the mess from your thighs and between your legs. she helped you turn over and lie down, and you finally saw the look of complete and utter adoration on her face.
fuck. you’re in so deep.
im cummin, love my gf. as always, likes, comments and reposts are appreciated! bunny out ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.
anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."
just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.
i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.
when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.
but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.
i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?
most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.
now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.
and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.
go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.
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certaimromance · 5 months ago
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𝜗𝜚 Theoretically Yours.
Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
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Summary: After a series of murders at your university, the FBI has decided to give you a bodyguard. The problem is that he is extremely cute and can hardly protect himself, especially from you and your charms.
Words: 1,9k.
TW: mentions of murder, crime, blood and also a plot twist???. spicy insinuations. spencer from the first seasons. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: I'm really excited about this, I love Spencer Reid in all seasons, but in the early ones he had something different that drove me crazy. Also, this is the first time I write here and I'm nervous.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
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It was supposed to be a normal day, but agents showed up at your door to stop you from going to class and left you under the watchful eye of the youngest of them, Dr. Spencer Reid. It was a precaution to protect you from the killer who has been stalking the campus, killing girls with similar profiles to yours.
You weren't afraid and insisted that it wasn't necessary until you saw him. The mere thought of spending time alone with the man made you more excited than you would have liked. He was very tall, skinny and could barely look you in the eye for more than five seconds without looking away absolutely blushing.
You had decided not to talk to him or act suspicious, but for some reason you liked the idea of him helping you with your biology homework. You were studying pre-med at the behest of your parents and were having trouble understanding some of the material. Spencer saved your life when he offered to help you and told you about his multiple doctorates.
“You are amazing, like a genius.” You said in surprise when he read the big book you had on the table in just five minutes and left a bunch of notes in it.
He blushed again, trying to adjust his glasses to hide it so it wouldn't show. Reid was doing his best to be professional and not let his guard down, he had to be vigilant in case you were in danger.
“It's nothing. I hope it helps you.” He said, giving you a little smile.
You nod and look at the television behind him. They were airing a new report on the latest murders, showing photos of the victims and interviews with family members. Everyone cried and repeated how unfair it was to lose their prodigy daughters to a madman. You thought about how they made such a simple TV show about spilled blood without thinking about it, just trying to paint the girls who had tormented you for several years as white doves.
“Don't worry, you're safe here. I can promise that.” Spencer spoke as he followed your gaze. He was trying to comfort you and take away any fear with his presence.
“I know.” You smile at him with innocence. You were more than capable of protecting yourself and you knew it.
There was an awkward moment of silence, so you offered him coffee to break it. You went to the kitchen and poured two cups, watching from afar as he talked on the phone in the meantime. You couldn't help but notice the nervousness in his voice as he repeated to his colleagues that all was well with you.
“She's pretty, isn't she?” Penelope's voice rang through the phone in Reid's ear and sent shivers down his spine. “I saw some pictures in internet.”
“I...maybe...yes.” He mumbled, trying not to let you hear him. "How does that matter or help the case?"
As you used the coffeepot, Spencer looked you over from head to toe. He couldn't deny how attractive you were and how much his heart raced when you were around. His extreme lack of flirting skills and his clear differences with you saved him from the temptation you were.
“Just have fun, lover boy. You need it.” The woman smiled proudly and hung up the call before he could answer.
The two poured cups were already on the table, you sat down on the sofa by the window to start reading the notes he had left in your medical book. His impeccable handwriting made you shudder, it was unbelievable that someone with so much knowledge would waste time trying to take care of you from yourself and not even realize it.
“You're okay?” He asked with a soft voice, sitting in front of you.
“Yes, just reading your notes.”
“Sorry, I put too many. But I can mark the important ones for you.” He gently took the book from your hands and began to place himself between the paragraphs with one of his fingers.
Your eyes fell on his hands, the way he moved them over the pages of the book bringing inappropriate thoughts to your mind. You hadn't noticed before how perfect every part of him seemed, especially now that he was spouting complex biological terms without even flinching. You were aware of your own intelligence and proud of it, but you would have liked to be like him...or at least have him around.
“Is something wrong?” He asked confused as he noticed how you had been watching him.
“Sorry. I was thinking of biology...nothing better to look at to understand the theory.” You said to justify your indiscretion.
“Oh sure, it helps. According to several studies, the human being has three main systems for perceiving information: visual, auditory and kinesthetic.” He began to explain quickly. “This theory was put forward in 1988.”
“Maybe that can help me.” You suggested, trying to look away from him.
He nods and start to talking again.
“You were watching, that was visual. And you heard me talking before, that was auditory.”
“And what is kinesthetic?” You asked, even though you knew what the answer was.
Spencer swallowed before speaking, trying to hide his nervousness at the sudden change in tone of the conversation. He was glad to know that he had been able to turn the situation around and put the recent crimes out of his mind, he had been worried that they would affect you.
“Is what is learned through sensation and movement.” He finally said with his voice trembling slightly.
“Can I...?” You try to ask, but he nods before you can finish the sentence.
You stop looking into his eyes and take his hand, put it on your legs and start tracing lines with your finger over his scarred veins. You could feel him shudder every time you touched him, and his mutterings about the technical names of each became inaudible.
“This is the radial artery, provides oxygenated blood to the hands and fingers.” You start to talking, looking him to the eyes again and letting your hand enjoy the softness of his.
“Yes...yeah, it is.” His voice came out as a whisper, as if he was losing control of the situation. No one had ever touched him in such a way before.
The smell of coffee mixed with his cologne is almost addictive and begins to drive you crazy. Just touching his hands was not enough, something inside you wanted more and the ideas running through your head began to torment you. You knew it wasn't right and that your own sanity was in jeopardy, he was one of the good guys and you not so much. It just wasn't right for you to mix, let alone under the current circumstances.
“I should check the perimeter.” Spencer rose from his seat and slowly moved his hand away from yours. He need to go away before something incorrect happened.
All the words were caught in your throat at that moment. You didn't want him to walk away yet.
“It's not necessary.” You got up after him, preventing him from walking to the door and being able to leave. “Everyone is in their classes now, the residence is empty and your coffee is going to get cold.”
Spencer knew you were right. He couldn't go against logic, so he sat back down on one of the couches and took a sip of the coffee you had poured for him. He did his best to avoid your gaze, but it was impossible when you were looking out the window and absentmindedly sipping your coffee.
“Do you think they'll find the killer?” You asked, trying to make conversation after watching through the glass as police cruisers drove around campus.
“Of course, no one else will have to get hurt and everything will be back to normal for you.” He replied without taking his eyes off you.
“I don't think you get to decide that.” You blurt out without thinking.
The phrase and your tone were enough to make him stand up and walk towards you. He put a hand on your shoulder out of inertia, to give you support and reassure you a little.
“You don't need to be afraid.” He gave you a small reassuring smile and you felt the warmth of his touch.
You took a tentative step toward him, shortening the distance between your bodies. You raised your gaze to meet his, feeling at his mercy because of the difference in height. You weren't thinking too hard and didn't hesitate to put your hand on his cheek, caressing it.
“What are you doing?” He asked, trying not to get carried away by your touch.
“To thank you for being here and helping me.” You had a burst of courage and stood on tiptoe to give him a resounding kiss on the cheek.
Then you moved your face far enough away to look at him and see his blush. He looked so affected by a simple kiss on the cheek that you couldn't help but move closer again, this time with his fingers on your chin.
“You can't. We can't.” He stopped the approach just a couple of inches from their lips colliding.
“Why? Because I'm part of your job?” You questioned in frustration, unable to tear your eyes away from his mouth.
“I'm here to keep you safe.” He tried to sound calm and professional, though his voice trembled.
“I'm very safe now.” You assured him, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around your waist. “No one can hurt me here.”
Without Spencer being able to notice, a small moan escaped him at your action.
“There's a killer on the loose.” He insisted, trying to be the voice of reason even though he couldn't look away from your lips.
“Trust me, a kiss won't bring him here. I'm sure of it.” You replied as you noticed him slowly pulling away from you.
A curse tried to come out of your mouth at the rejection and lack of his touch at your waist, but before you could finish it, his lips were on yours and his hands were pressing you against him.
His lips were as soft as his hands, but the way they moved over yours was not soft at all. At first, even his tongue seemed to ask your permission to continue. It took several seconds of clear acceptance before the uncertainty of his kiss disappeared and was replaced by need.
You took advantage of the fact that you were in front of the big couch to push him off and you both fell on top of him, having only a few seconds to catch your breath before continuing. He gave you a quick, tender kiss before pulling his hands away from your back to remove his glasses, which were already fogged up and out of place. But your hand stopped him just before he could put them down on the table.
“Do not take off your glasses. I really like them.” You whispered still over his mouth.
“As you wish.” He said before kissing you again and letting himself enjoy himself under you, without thinking about anything else.
At that moment you knew that maybe committing a few more murders to keep him around wasn't such a bad idea.
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weakformingyu · 9 months ago
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You are my favorite
Pairing: Lee Know x afab!reader
Part 2 of Can I be your favorite?(Recommended to read the first part for context)
Genre: smut, fluff, angst(the tiniest bit)
Summary: you let your insecurities come in between your new relationship with Minho, luckily for you though, he's not gonna let you run away so easily.
Words count: 3,076
THIS CONTENT IS +18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Warnings: oral(f. receiving), unprotected piv(wrap it before you tap it ffs), creampie, marking, hickeys, dirty talk(barely), Minho is possessive asf(is it even my fic if he's not possessive?), reader is insecure
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You were sore when you woke up the next morning — or should you say, afternoon? It was already 2pm when you opened your eyes, finding Minho's place empty by your side.
You look around the room, now there's enough light coming from the windows for you to be able to see the room. You don't know how to explain it but it fits Minho perfectly, the decoration is discreet but not basic and it shows a lot of his personality, more than you're aware of.
You get up, not really sure what you're supposed to do. So you collect your things and start getting dressed, tying your hair in a ponytail to try and conceal the mess.
When you open the door, you look around before getting out, not sure if you're going to find someone and a bit embarrassed to be going away at this hour. You get down the stairs, walking past the kitchen at a quick pace but before you can turn the knob, you hear a voice behind you.
“Minho, your girl is trying to escape”, he yells, making you spin on your heels quickly looking at the telltale just to find a boy, who you're sure is Jeongin, the youngest of the frat house.
“Never thought you would be the type to smash and dash”, your crush says, popping out of the kitchen.
“I'm not!” You defend yourself, crossing your arms.
“That's not what it looks like to me”, he shrugs.
“I was just looking for you”, you lie and he scoffs, walking towards you.
“You shouldn't lie, princess”, he leans closer to you, making you gulp. “I don't like liars”, he whispers. Smirking when he sees your breath quickening and the way you lick your lips nervously. “Anyways, you can go if you want. I'll pick you up at 8”
“F-for what?” You ask, trying to recompose yourself.
“I told you I was going to take you out for dinner, didn't I?”
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"I can't believe you're really going on a date with Minho”, Jihyo says, clapping excitedly while she searches for something in your wardrobe.
“I don't why he wants to go on a date with me”
“‘cause you're hot?” Your best friend says, as if it's obvious.
“He has a hundred other hot girls to take on dates”, you scoff, making Jihyo throw a pillow at you.
“Stop with the self depreciation, he doesn't want the other girls, he wants you. So get your ass over here so I can help you with your makeup”
You were hopeful but didn't think Minho would actually do as he promised. At exactly 8pm, you heard a knock on the door and Jihyo squealed, giving you a thumbs up and sending you to your date.
Minho was looking exceptionally handsome in all black, hands tucked in the pockets of his pants. He stares at you up and down with a grin on his lips.
“You look good”, he tells you, enjoying seeing your cheeks turning a dark shade of red.
“Y-you look nice too”, you say, stepping outside and closing the door behind you.
You are seated in front of him, not really sure what to do next, you two ordered your food and some expensive wine that you never heard about. The ride to the restaurant was a bit awkward, you felt the need to say something but didn't know what to say so you talked about the weather not realizing that he liked seeing you trying, nervous like a bunny being hunted by a predator, him.
“So, what's your major?” He asks, taking you out of your thoughts. He's resting his face on his hand while watching you fidget on your seat.
“Engineering”, you answer, sipping on the glass of water the waiter poured to you.
“That's interesting”, he smiles. “I'm a dance major”, he tells you.
“I know”, you say without thinking, covering your mouth immediately. “I mean, everyone knows”, you smile sheepishly.
“Ah, yes. You like me, right?” He smirks, proudly, making your face turn as red as a tomato.
“Please, stop saying that, it's embarrassing”, you hide your face in your hands.
“It's embarrassing that you like me?” He chuckles, tilting his head.
“You were not supposed to know that”, you clarify, “it's pathetic that I have feelings for someone who didn't even know I existed until last night”, you sigh.
“I clearly knew you existed, since I knew that you like me”, he teases. “I don't think it's pathetic, the heart wants what it wants”
“Is that why you dated all those girls?” You ask, naively, making his eyes grow wide. He didn't think you'd be that straightforward.
“No, I'm not one to rejected a nice looking girl”, he shrugs, “they just didn't manage to be more than that to me, but I'm sure they can be something more for someone else”
“Ah”, you nod, feeling awkward.
“Do you want to date me?” He asks nonchalantly like he's asking how was your day, making you choke on the water you just drank.
“What?” You ask, shocked.
“I think I was very clear”, he answers, scowling.
“Why would you want to date me?”
“I guess you heard me well”, he teases, “you're my type”, Minho clarifies.
“I don't think I'm, though”, you oppose.
“I think I know better than you who is or is not my type”
“I mean, I'm not pretty like your other girlfriends”, you push.
“Firstly: why would I want someone just like the people I broke up with? Second: I think you're pretty”
You feel your whole face hot, covering your mouth instantly so he doesn't see the stupid smile you have on your lips.
“Also, I like fucking you”, he ruins the moment, smirking, “I wanna keep doing that”
“What a gentleman”, you roll your eyes, ignoring the heat growing on your lower stomach. He doesn't need to know that you'd give anything for him to fuck you right now on the restroom of the restaurant.
“I can be one”, he stretches his arm, grabbing your hand, caressing it. “Or I can be the opposite of that, it's your call”, he shrugs.
That's precisely how you ended up fucking on the restaurant’s restroom. He pulled you inside the confined space, bending you on the sink and before you could prepare yourself his cock was inside of you.
“Fuck, kitten”, he groans, covering your mouth, not slowing down his thrusts. “You have to be quiet if you don't wanna get caught”, you nod, crying out, seeing his smirk through the reflection of the mirror.
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You ended up dating him. It's not like it's a sacrifice for you or anything but you couldn't wrap your head around the reason that the Lee Minho would want to date you of all people. People's reaction was different from the one you expected too, they didn't really care, thinking he was going to dump you in a week.
However, to their surprise and especially yours, he didn't. Minho never even brought up the idea of breaking up and when you realized, two months had already passed.
After two months you still couldn't believe you were dating him and how hot he is, you always thought he was the most handsome man you ever saw but dating him hits differently. Now you can see him after a shower, coming out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hip, his muscular chest bare for you to drool over. He cooks for you, making your favorite foods or some you never ate before. He brings you snacks and makes side dishes for you to eat at home. Minho picks you up before class and takes you back home after or he invites you to sleep over at the frat. You're already acquainted with all his friends, they even come looking for you to show you things when you're in the house. It makes you wonder if they acted like that with all of his girlfriends. Two months of the sweetest romance and the best sex you've ever had.
At least it was. You're not going to deny it, you're insecure. Minho is someone you never thought you could reach, so to be his girlfriend? It's something you never imagined. As he told you before, he has a great number of options, so the possibility that he'll replace you anytime, scares you.
You try forgetting about that, try not to overthink, until you find him at the library with a girl all over him. She's beautiful, perfect skin and shiny hair, she's hanging too close to him, touching his arm and throwing her head back in an exaggerated laugh. She's actually touching him at any chance she gets and you're there paralyzed like an idiot, watching it.
You feel the tears brimming in your eyes and you turn around and walk to the opposite side. You are his girlfriend, you should definitely step in, but in all honesty, you are too scared. Scared he'll look at you like you are nothing, that he's finally going to look at you with cold eyes like you have been waiting for it to happen.
You don't talk to him for days, avoiding meeting with him and ignoring his calls. You know it's childish to just ignore someone like that but you just needed to prepare yourself for the dreadful conversation you were about to have. It's going to be for the best if you two break up, he can go back to the way he lived before and you can stop worrying about when he's going to get tired of you.
It's not a surprise when Minho shows up at your door, you expected that to happen but wasn't expecting his appearance. He has his hair disheveled, deep eye bags under his eyes and he looks furious.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asks, angrily, not even greeting you and storming inside your apartment like a hurricane. “Why did you disappear?”
“I needed to think”, you murmur, closing the door behind you.
“Think about what? You should at least have answered my texts”, he huffs, taking his jacket off and throwing it on the couch.
“About us”, you answer him, making his face soften a bit.
“What about us?” He asks, tilting his head in confusion.
“I think it's best if we break up”, you tell him at once, not really capable of dragging this conversation for too long, it was already so hard to say that sentence, you are about to cry at any minute.
“What are you on about?” He frowns, taking a step closer to you, but you take a step back.
“I'm trying to make the right decision for the both of us”, you sigh, “it's not like this is going to last anyways, you should go find someone who's on your level”
He scoffs, breathing a laugh. You expected any other reaction of him, but that one was not included.
“So that is what this is about”, he starts walking towards you and you start stepping back, until you bump into the kitchen table with nowhere else to run. Minho gets closer to you, looking down on you as he cages you between the table and his body.
“My kitten is insecure, is that it?” He asks, making you blush with the pet name. Minho never gets tired of making you flustered.
“I'm not”, you lie, avoiding his gaze.
“You know I don't like liars”, he tells you, “but I guess it's on me, if I did a better job as your boyfriend you wouldn't be feeling like this’, he pouts.
“You are a great boyfriend”, you murmur, trying not to look into his eyes, he's too close.
“Hm? I am?” He teases. “Then what's it, kitten, did you find someone more interesting than me?” He smiles, it was supposed to be a joke but the way your eyes widened with that simple suggestion makes him a bit mad. “Is that it?” He asks, narrowing his eyes to stare at you.
“No, there's no one like that”, you tell him.
“Then why did you hesitate?”, he raises his brows in questioning. You were just too shocked to answer right away but he doesn't let you tell him that. “Nice way to make me angry”, he scoffs. “I told you I can be a fucking gentleman so why do you always make me be the opposite of that?” He asks, taking a step closer to you and pressing his body against yours. His hands slide around your waist, caging you even more in his hold.
“Minho, I-”, you try to speak but he tsks, interrupting you.
“You need to learn a lesson”, he tells you, leaning closer and brushing his lips on your cheek, trailing it down to your jaw and then your neck. “You are mine”, he whispers before attaching his mouth to your neck, biting on your skin so hard you whine with the pain.
His hands slide down to your ass, squeezing it and pulling you up, to sit on the table. You were on your pjs already ready to sleep and that makes his access to your body easier, the thin fabric of your clothes can barely block the warmth coming from his body to yours.
Minho pops open his dress shirt, letting it slide and fall on the floor, watching your reaction to him. You bite on your bottom lip, staring at his muscular chest. He always looks so good, you feel like moaning just by looking at him.
“Min…”, you murmur, spreading your legs wide for him. It's not like you can resist him anyways.
“There you are”, he smiles, unbuckling his pants and letting it fall down at his feet, “my needy girl”
You avoid his eyes, pulling your shirt off to reveal your bare chest to him.
“You look so hot, all spread for me like this”, he smiles, getting on his knees. Minho pulls the waistband of your shorts and panties down, watching your glistening cunt in excitement. “Is this because of me or are you thinking about someone else?” He pushes, finally seeing you look at him, shaking your head frantically.
“It's all you, the only one I think about is you”, you confess, feeling your cheeks hot.
Minho grins, putting your legs over his shoulders and kissing your inner thighs. He licks your pussy slightly, just teasing you, making you put your hands on his head to force him against your core.
You can feel him smile, licking a long strip between your folds, attaching his lips to your clit next. Minho slides his hand between your legs, inserting two fingers inside of you, going in and out while he sucks your aching core, grunting and groaning with you pulling on his hair and he watches as you become undone in his mouth.
You can feel your orgasm coming, your toes curl immediately and you buck your hips against his mouth desperately, chasing your high and when the knot on your lower stomach finally explodes, you moan loudly, trembling in his embrace.
Minho stands up, cleaning around his mouth with his fingers and then licking on them.
“Still my favorite taste”, he smirks. You look stunning with your soft lips parted and hair disheveled, your chest rises and falls in a fast rhythm.
“This is going to be the last time I'll let you have your way”, you try looking the least bit believable while stating that, but that only makes him chuckle, stroking his cock a few times before he comes closer to you.
“And that only proves that you still haven't understood the situation you're in”, he tells you, teasing your entrance with the head of his cock while he waits for you to stop him but you don't, you want to feel him inside you so fucking much that it seems like you're going crazy. He pushes in, feeling your cunt squeezing him deliciously. “Fuck”, Minho murmurs. Your arms wrap around his waist, burying your nails in his skin, the snap of his hips against yours making you breathless.
He kisses you, feeling your sweet lips against his only adds to the building up of his orgasm, you look so pretty, you're perfect for him, your pussy is perfect for him, he won't let you end things with him that easily.
He pulls away from you for a moment, your mouth is parted and your eyes are glossy, he wants to hold you forever.
“I'm in love with you”, he confesses, thrusts faltering a bit. Your eyes grow wide to his sudden revelation. “You won't get rid of me that easily, kitten”, he groans, pressing his lips against yours one more time.
That's enough for you to cum, squirming and trembling in his embrace, while you watch him breathlessly thrust inside of you, eyes locked with yours.
“Do it inside”, you cry out, overstimulated after your second orgasm. Minho groans, bending towards you and kissing you, spilling his hot cum inside you while he bites on your lips.
He rests his head on your shoulder, breathless, trying to recompose himself.
“Don't ever talk about breaking up, ever again”, he pulls away to look at you, finding your eyes brimming with tears.
“But I saw that girl hitting on you the other day at the library”, you pout, making him sigh, cupping your face with both of his hands.
“Yes, she was hitting on me but I told her I have a really smart, hot girlfriend and that I was not interested”, he tells you, making you feel like the greatest idiot in the world.
“I'm sorry, I should have checked with you first”, you say, “I just love you so much, I'm scared you're going to dump me”, you confess, making him chuckle. His heart beating like crazy, it's the first time you openly say you love him.
“Y/n, you're stuck with me for a long time”, he gives you a peck on the lips, “I won't ever do anything to hurt you, okay?”
You nod, feeling warmth spreading all over your chest.
“Now, you better prepare yourself, ‘cause you need to receive some punishment for disappearing and making me worry”, he tells you, showing you that devilish smirk of his and before you can run to save yourself, Minho is picking you up and dragging you to your room.
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ldrfanatic · 5 months ago
Text
i miss you
theodore nott x reader
yeah this is gonna be angsty.
synopsis - a mini-series where reader and theo break up after a three year relationship and struggle without each other. eventual hea. this is more like excerpts and moments between the two of them than a full story. part two coming soon.
one
1.2k words
song - i miss you, i'm sorry by gracie abrahams
slytherin boys works
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"i think we should break up."
you and theo spoke at the same time. both with tears in your eyes. after a three year relationship, neither of you really wanted it to end, both still harboring feelings for each other but after not speaking practically all summer, it seemed like the best option.
"i don't want to make things awkward with our friend group. but outside of group events, i think it's best we don't talk."
the boy in front of you nodded his head silently in agreeance. sobs wracked your body as theodore nott, your now ex-boyfriend pulled you into a strong hug. it felt like your heart was splitting in two. for the past three years, you'd known nothing but theo.
after an eternity, you both stepped apart and you shared a deep kiss. your last kiss. it was salty with the taste of both of your tears.
---
in the weeks that followed, you were the most miserable you'd ever been in your time at hogwarts. keeping your distance from the person who'd not only been your lover, but had become your best friend as well, was the most difficult thing you'd ever had to do.
everything reminded you of him. every path you took seemed to take you to theo. it was like the universe wanted you to suffer.
no less than four weeks after your breakup, word spread quick that marcus flint was planning on asking you out. before, no boy at hogwarts even dared to look in your direction in fear of what theo might do to them. but you supposed that didn't matter now.
you were eating breakfast next to luna. she was a little odd but she'd become an unlikely friend in the aftermath of theo. a dark brown owl that you recognized at the nott family owl dropped a note on the table in front of you. your name was scrawled across the front in handwriting you recognized.
luna placed an encouraging hand on your shoulder as you picked up the note with a shaking grasp. unfolding it, a message had been hastily scribbled.
"i miss you. i know you said that we're not talking, but can i see you? please?"
you looked up and met the intense stare of theo.
a single nod confirmed his request.
---
"how are you?"
you almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of the question. given your matching eye bags and teary eyes, neither of you were handling the split well.
"it's not hard to tell, nott. just ask me what you want to know."
theo kicked bitterly at the pebbles beneath his feet.
"i hear flint is planning on asking you to hogsmeade." he spit the words out like he couldn't believe someone was asking you out. the girl who wasn't his anymore.
"you don't have to worry, nott. i still love you. i promise."
"look, i'm not happy with this either, y/n. nothing happened in the way i wanted. but do you have to call me that? I hate it when you call me nott. like i haven't been the guy wiping your tears for three years."
you felt your eyes swelling. not even trying to stop the tears, you cocked your head sideways and pinned theo with a single heartbroken look.
"yes. i do. because i'm scared that if i call you theo, act like we're friends, smile at you and watch you smile at me, that i might never stop crying."
---
two months after your breakup with theo and you still hadn't stopped crying. you knew it would hurt. but this was inexplainable.
after your meeting in the astronomy tower, theo stopped showing up to meals. and classes. in fact, you hadn't seen him leave his dorm since. three weeks passed like a blur and before you knew it, snow was falling.
with christmas around the corner, you began handing out presents to your friends. one in particular sat in the corner of your room. the dark green wrapping paper had stood out noticeably from the silver snowflake wrapping paper you'd used on all the other gifts you'd given this holiday.
you stood across from mattheo, theo's roommate, and held out a folded piece of paper to the boy. mattheo took it, albeit confused.
"what's this?"
"for theo. just... give it to him. please."
mattheo nodded, gave you a quick hug and then scurried off in the direction of the boys' dorms.
---
"i got your note."
the deep voice of theodore nott startled you.
you placed a hand over your heart, having nearly jumped out of your skin. the sight that greeted you was nothing less than gut wrenching. the sweet hopeful boy you once dated was gone. in his place was the hollow shell that he'd been when you first met him, before you started dating.
he was thin and pale, noting to the fact that he'd barely eaten in the past few weeks. where you'd finally started to sleep a little easier at night, theo looked like he hadn't sleep in weeks. years even. if it hadn't been for the familiarity of the warmth of his gaze, you would've sworn this was not theo.
an involuntary gasp escaped you.
"theodore!"
you resisted the inherent urge to begin fussing over him. he watched you with a guarded stare. after a few beats of tense silence, you held the gift out to him.
he eyed it with apprehension.
"i bought it before..."
you didn't finish your sentence. you didn't have to. theo's head tilted back in realization and after a couple pensive breaths, he took the present.
he toyed with it in his hands for a few moments, as if deciding whether or not to open it. he seemed to have made a decision when he undid the white bow you'd carefully tied atop the small box.
inside was a silver chain. it was thick with a small delicate looking circle on the end.
"what is it?"
you chuckled slightly at his bluntness. he'd never been one to beat around the bush.
"it's a muggle thing, i think. my cousin was telling me about it. anyhow, you shine a light through it and, well," you spoke a soft lumos and shined your wand towards the circle. on the wall behind you, a picture appeared.
a young isabella nott was laughing with a young theo at a beach on a beautifully clear day. her smile was bright and contagious even through a picture. it was honestly the happiest you'd ever seen theo in your years of knowing him.
the moment theo saw the picture, he broke down. you really hadn't meant to make him cry.
"i'm sorry. i just wanted you to have it."
you knelt down next to him, and he immediately latched onto you.
"i can't- i can't do this without you. please."
this was the second time that theodore nott had begged you. the look in his eyes was all it took for your resolve to break.
"we fucked up bad, theo." you cooed softly to him as you rocked him through his sobs. "this breakup has tested... everything i thought i knew about myself. but i miss you. so we can talk about it."
---
7.8.2024
<taglist>
@moonlightreader649 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess @nighttimemoonlover @blobsblobician
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letorip · 3 months ago
Note
Can you do headcanons for Jenna’s characters with a tall reader?
tall reader
it's been a little bit since i've been back on here and actively posted, but you know what i felt bad that i hadn't, so i did this to kind of assure everyone who didn't see my last thing that i'm still alive and well. sorry for not responding sooner to this request. also, if you see this, do not panic, i promise, i'm still finishing kiss with a fist [iii] and we’re only a few days from casual [iii]. the last thing i want is someone seeing me update and then immediately jumping into my inbox to ask about those, because i'm hard at work at them anyways
also, if you're not tall, just imagine it for a moment, lmao
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wednesday addams
she’s not especially expressive, so she’ll never admit to it, but she absolutely loves that you’re so much taller than her. it’s cheesy and she knows you'll tease her about it, if she does mention it
she fumbles the bag at first, when during one of your first conversations, she says "you remind me of lurch." it's not exactly flattering to be told you remind her of her 40 year old butler who looks like a skeleton, and it makes you think she doesn't like you, at first, but to be fair, she meant it as a compliment
you try to brush past it, and wednesday too, and she's confused as to why you didn't seem flattered. enid's mouth drops open when wednesday recounts your interaction, and she tries to coach her through fixing her mistake
unfortunately your next conversation is only more awkward, when she walks it back and says "you DON'T remind me of lurch." she thinks it's a good way to recover from her previous error, but you just look even more confused, and she's suddenly walking off before she fucks up anything any more
she does manage to have an actual conversation with you later, after you take the turn to initiate, and that's how you two actually begin to grow closer and closer
even in her big ass platform boots, you’re still taller than her. it closes a little bit of the distance, but you're still much taller
she grabs your tie or bunches your shirt and pulls you down to her level, in order to kiss you. it hurts your neck sometimes, but you’d never ever tell her not to do it
even when she tugs you down for a kiss, she still has to stand on her tippy toes, especially if she’s only in socks
it does make you the ideal height for cuddling, though
wednesday claimed at first that she would cut your fingers off if you tried to hold her, but she slowly learns to crave it. all you have to do is give her a look and lift up your blanket, and she’ll crawl right in, especially if it’s after an investigation and she’s exhausted
theres just something oddly relaxing about curling up and feeling you wrap yourself around her. you’re definitely big spoon in this scenario. not that she wouldn’t hold you the same— she does, especially when she’s worried about the investigation but doesn’t want to say anything— but she likes how you’re able to completely wrap around her and how she can almost burrow herself into you
wednesday absolutely adores to sit on your lap. she’ll sit on your lap whenever and wherever she can. sideways with her arms around your neck, back to front with your arms around her waist, facing you in a straddle, during the more heated moments. she said she’d never be like her parents, but she also finds your lap to be the most comfortable seat around
she plops herself down onto your lap whenever she feels the person you're talking to is laughing a little too much at your jokes. she'll wander right over, wordlessly, sit down on your lap, wrap an arm around your neck, and stare at the person you're talking to with a usual disinterest, and they very quickly get the memo and leave
not that you realise this pattern, of course
you also use your height to help in the investigation. getting books for her off of high-up, dusty shelves, giving her a boost through windows that she shouldn't be breaking into, you name it. your willingness to assist her in her crazy plan is just part of what she loves about you
"can you reach that for me, cara mia?"
she does miraculously know your measurements, of course, when it comes to buying clothes. being tall makes clothes somewhat hard, but she always manages to buy the perfect sized thing, and you're starting to wonder if she somehow measured you, when you weren't paying attention
tara carpenter
you guys begin as sworn enemies after meeting at blackmore, and it results in a lot of mean insults about each others' height. she calls you the jolly green giant and you call her dwarf. she calls you giraffe, you call her stuart little. neither of you will admit that you find the other obnoxiously attractive
she says you're freakishly tall, but you're only a little taller than chad. she never annoys him about his height, only you, but for what it's worth, you annoy her right back
it culminates one night during a drunken hookup after you've shouted insults into each others faces. tara won't admit her anger is from seeing a random girl grind on you, and you won't admit you're annoyed that ethan and chad are obviously in love with her, and doing their best at flirting
you don't know who closes the distance first, but the next thing you know, you're messily pressing your mouths together and tara is climbing you like a damn tree, i mean, this is literally her
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immediately after, you and tara try to pretend it didn't happen, and it lasts all of one week before she's jumping your bones again, only this time neither of you are drunk
you get together shortly after, but best believe the teasing doesn't stop. she'll still call you her little construction crane, and you'll smile with a faux sweetness and call her your little hobbit, until she smacks you on the arm
you're definitely a fiery couple, on both sides, but you do have your sweet moments
you give her piggyback rides because you're tall enough to do so, and she just happily wraps her arms around your neck and lets you carry her places. pretty much any time she gets tired enough (or even when she isn't really tired at all), she'll give you a cute pout and put her arms out, and you'll pick her up
tara loves to cuddle with you, but even then, sometimes you both squabble over the blanket, and she'll start complaining about how you hog the whole thing because of your height. it turns into a playful wrestling match, and while you have the obvious advantage and could flip her right around at any given moment, you let her climb on top of you and pin your arms above your head in a proud victory (which takes a lot of effort, considering how short she is)
of course, like all of your play-fights, it turns into something more
she doesn't like to talk about woodsboro, but she does find a comfort in how tall you are. it makes her feel a bit safer with you around, not that a couple inches would stop ghostface or anything
but she feels a genuine relaxation, when you can both be in bed together, and you're completely holding her in your arms, and it's not a thing she thought she'd feel again
you give her your jacket when she's cold, and she has to bunch the fabric around her elbows, or it'll absolutely swim on her. she always teases you about it, but the moment you jokingly threaten to take it back, she'll roll her eyes with a smile and tug it on with a kiss to your cheek
sometimes when you're cooking in the kitchen, she'll wrap her arms around your waist and let her head rest against the small of your back
you also help her when she's studying in the school library, by similarly grabbing books off the shelf for her
when she wants to rest her head on your shoulder, you still have to crane your neck down to let her. it's not super comfortable, but you still do it, because she looks adorable when she sleeps
she's figured out something seriously cruel. you complained about her feet being cold once, when you were snuggling, and ever since you mentioned it, tara realised she's the perfect height to press a cold foot right onto your back. she does it when she wants to start a play-fight, and it works like a charm every time
you're annoyed by it, but it definitely does make her laugh
lorraine day
your height is immediately what lorraine clocks onto, when she first sees you, because she's coming back from a shoot, getting dropped off by RJ, and she sees you in the distance, hopping a fence like it's no effort at all, when the same fence is a pain for lorraine to climb
you're the new ranch hand that her father hired while she was gone, and when she officially meets you, the both of you don't exactly get off on the right foot
you don't actually say much, which is something her father warned her of before you were introduced, but she at least expected some kind of "hello." instead, you just stare down at her from the shadow of your hat with a neutral nod, and then go off to get back to work. no giving her your name, no asking her any questions, no interest whatsoever
she doesn't know if she's more offended by your lack of manners or more upset you don't seem anywhere near as curious about her as she is about you
your height makes you ideal for most ranching activities though. you easily climb up and down from your horse and you're a speedy, fast rider.
when lorraine is on her shorter breed of horse, you're still as tall as her shoulders, and you help her get ready to go out on her horse with you and her father, even if it is wordlessly
she's only heard you speak a few times, and it's mostly been laughing with her father, which abruptly stops when lorraine gets close enough
after a rare bit of rain, lorraine's boots are slippery, and she slides out of the stirrup when dismounting way quicker than she was ready for. luckily, you're there to catch her, and she collides against you, pretty much right into your arms
unfortunately, you both fall back into a pile of horse shit, and the next thing she knows, she's hearing a nice, airy laughter coming from you. she's damn sure it's the first time she's seen you smile or laugh, and it's got her laughing too
she apologises, but you say "it's nothin," and you both kind of naturally grow closer from there
you help her up onto her horse, when she's without a saddle. you're tall enough to do so, and you hoist her up gently and set her on the animal's back with a small smile, and it kind of makes her heart beat real fast
it turns out the rough and tough cowboy exterior is a false image of you lorraine created in her mind. you're actually just a quiet, hot, tall, dork
you're feeding her horse a carrot or something, about to go out and do your job with lorraine eager to tag along, and she doesn't know what comes over her, but she leans down a little and plants a kiss right on your lips
she's the champion of sitting on stuff to reach your face: a fence, her horse, a hay bale. she likes being above you for once, and you're not complaining whatsoever
she tugs on the belt loop of your jeans when she wants you to lean down and kiss her. she also absolutely steals your baseball cap, and then to be funny, your cowboy boots, and she laughs about how big on her the cowboy boots are and clomps around in them
her family house has low ceilings, so it's kind of a pain to walk through, especially in your boots. for the most part, you live above the barn because of the higher ceilings, and sometimes (most nights) lorraine sneaks out to see you
she absolutely loves to sit on your shoulders. it's not especially comfortable for you, but you let her do it at the town events like fireworks and festivals and stuff. she sits on your shoulders for a "better view," and she'll rest her chin on top of your head
sorry to RJ, he's getting dumped the moment he comes back into town
cairo sweet
she doesn't even really realise you're tall at first, because she just sees you in your chair, on the second day of the new semester
you're new in town, a transfer kid and a cross country prodigy, with record times and future athletic scholarships up the wazoo, owed partially to being much taller than average. but the two most annoying things about you is that you can write, and you've read mr. miller's book
mr. miller seems rather pleased with having you in his class, and immediately it makes cairo hate you. her whole plan pretty much crumbles with you now in the way, and she absolutely loathes you for it
her new plan becomes to seduce you and distract you from school, and it works because you do harbour a giant, absolutely massive crush on her
your mother, who's also your coach, wants you to stay focused on athletics and not let cairo get in the way, but talking to her makes you melt, and when she finds you one day, in the locker room after everyone's left, you immediately cave when she sloppily kisses you and shoves her tongue into your mouth
your height is ideal for picking her up and pushing her back against the lockers, while her legs wrap around your waist
tree climber core again
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she says it's just a scheme, but after you earnestly ask her out on a date and you both have a fantastic time, cairo's master plan goes out the window, and she just enjoys you for you
she goes to all of your meets, and she'll stand at the railing of the bleachers, and watch you with a smile (she's too fancy to cheer like a soccer mom out loud, but know she's really rooting for you on the inside)
you're like that one track couple at the olympics, if y'all have seen the clip. you finish your run in first place, qualifying for the state competition, and before anyone can congratulate you, you're running in cairo's direction, at the bleachers.
you're tall enough to the point that you just stand there on the ground, and cairo leans over the railing and kisses you, pulling away to cup your cheeks
your height is definitely a plus, in that when cairo is especially miffed at something mr. miller said or another student, after class, she'll grab your arm and wrap it around her shoulder
you barely fit on your twin-sized mattress, but cairo owns a king in her massive ass house, so it's a plus, whenever you go over to her place to "study"
just like with wednesday, when you're over at her house, you're the person who grabs her books off her shelf for her. she'll whisper a thanks and press a kiss to your cheek. sometimes she'll stand behind you and watch you grab a book off the shelf, just to see the stretch in your muscles and watch you move. she's just thinking "i'm no better than a man" while it happens
she love love loves to lay on top of you, on the sofa, when she's got a book to read. she'll just lay back against your chest, in your embrace, with a book in hand
she'll borrow your jacket, even though she complains it doesn't match her style, but it still swims on her
absolutely loves to be princess-carried to her bed when she falls asleep on the couch reading. she'll fall asleep because it's just too comfortable there, and you'll carry her up the stairs and tuck her in
she also grabs your collar and tugs you down to her for a kiss. either that, or she'll tug on your sleeve, which you now know is cairo saying she wants a kiss or a hug
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yoongiseesawmp3 · 10 months ago
Text
own my mind - san (m)
summary: part of the idol series. idol!san x producer!reader. san hates you, you're sure of it, and the feeling is pretty mutual. are these feelings true, or does he just need to spend some time getting to know you?
word count: 10.6k
warnings: smut. afab reader. oral (f and m receiving) unprotected sex w pull out method, don't do that. recording during sex, don't do that either.
masterlist
"so the practice rooms are down this hall," your new boss explains as he shows you around kq, "and over here are the boys' studios, but your's will be this way..."
you're trying to take it all in and simultaneously remember where all of the confusing hallways lead. kq may not look like much on the outside, but within it's basically a maze. you keep nodding and smiling as you follow your boss around, politely greeting anybody you encounter. he ends by bringing you into a conference room to finalize some paperwork, and after that you're on your own. you're officially the newest producer at kq, and...you have no idea what to do next.
you step out of the conference room and try your hardest to remember which direction leads back to the studios, but you also need coffee. you remember where the kitchen is, so you head that way as you text your friend jen. she recommended you for this job, and she promised she'd say hi on your first day. she's one of the make up artists for ateez, so she's always around, but her schedule is a little more frantic than yours. you understand if she doesn't answer right away, so you send the text and forget about it. you take a moment to yourself in the company kitchen as you try to figure out the coffee machine, letting your thoughts wander.
are you really cut out for this? it's your first day and you already feel overwhelmed. do they expect you to just go into your studio and start producing? what kind of tracks do they have planned for the next album? will the current producers even let you touch anything important, or will you have to prove yourself first? you're thinking about all this and more when someone bursts into the kitchen with a screech.
"Y/N!!!" jen yells as she scoops you into a hug. "you're here! it's finally happening!"
"this isn't very professional," you laugh as you hug her back. "you're helping me make a bad first impression."
"not possible, i've been talking about how great you are for months," she smiles. "they're gonna love you, seriously. i can't wait to hear what you make."
"what if i suck though?" you ask, but jen shakes her head.
"don't do that. no negativity on your first day."
"whatever."
"so what are you doing first?" she asks, taking the coffee you just brewed and having a sip for herself.
"dude, that was mine," you cry, and she hands it back to you with a half assed apology. "um, what am i doing first...well, i got confused on my welcome tour, so i guess i'll wander around until i figure out where my studio is."
"oh i can show you," jen brushes you off. "it's not that confusing, you just need to walk it all a few times. lots of doors, but you'll get the hang of it."
"do you want to make your own coffee, or can you show me around right now?" you ask as you finish doctoring up your mug.
"i can just have another sip of yours," she says as she reaches for it, but you hold it just out of reach as someone else walks in.
"hey jen," hongjoong greets her, his eyes falling to you next. "are you y/n? i've been summoned to help you get started."
"thank god," you sigh in relief. "i wasn't sure what to do, so i appreciate it. it's nice to meet you, finally."
"likewise," he smiles. "i'm a big fan of your work."
"really?" you feel yourself blush. "thank you. you were one of the reasons i started producing, so that means a lot."
"really?" now it's hongjoong's turn to blush. "well, that's...nice."
"great," jen claps her hands, easing over the awkward silence. "you can show y/n her studio and the two of you can keep gushing about how great you both are." she turns to you and puts her hands on your shoulders, giving you a playful shake. "you're gonna do great things here. be nice to yourself. and uhhh, go team!"
"thanks jen," you laugh as you wave goodbye, following a respectable distance behind hongjoong. he looks back to make sure he hasn't lost you and motions for you to come closer.
"no need to be shy," he tells you. "we'll need to be pretty comfortable with each other considering how close we'll be working together."
"how often will i be working with you?"
"mmm, every day maybe?" he thinks about it. "in the beginning at least. you'll shadow me for a few days to see how the studios run, and then you'll sort of report to me with whatever you're working on. hopefully we won't get tired of each other."
"i don't think that'll be an issue," you assure him. you catch the tips of his ears turning red and you smile to yourself. "so, what makes a good producer here?"
you watch in admiration as hongjoong explains the creativity and collaboration that makes kq work so well, and you kick yourself for getting distracted again. you were supposed to be watching your surroundings, keeping an eye out for where to go to find your studio, but you can't help it. in this moment, it hits you: you get to make music with one of your favorite producers for one of your favorite artists. you must be dreaming, right?
if this is a dream, you're knocked out of it abruptly. while you were watching hongjoong, you weren't watching where you were going, and you walked right into the human equivalent of a brick wall. you spill your coffee everywhere, but don't worry, most of it lands on the most handsome man you've ever seen in your entire life. you're currently staring at choi san, singer of ateez and one of your new coworkers. he's looking down at you, a little bit of shock in his eyes, and you rush to correct the situation.
"oh, shit, i'm sorry," you apologize. you look to hongjoong for help and he's running off to find napkins, leaving you with a very buff man in a soaking wet white t shirt. "i am so so sorry, really, here, let me try to-"
"don't worry about it," san takes a step back. he starts to walk away, but you follow behind him.
"at least let me-"
"i said don't worry about it," he tries again, his tone calm but his eyes tell a different story. he's glaring down at you, which makes your blood boil. he has a right to be mad at you for spilling coffee on him, but why's he pissed at you for trying to help clean him up?
"sure, go drip coffee all down the hallway then," you grumble as you brush past him. "i'll tell hongjoong to follow the trail when he comes back with your napkins."
"fine," san sighs, stopping where he stands. he throws his hands up and asks, "happy?"
"sure."
"who are you anyway?" he mumbles to himself, looking you up and down. you feel his eyes linger, and it makes goosebumps rise over your skin. you take that as a further sign that this guy is getting on your nerves.
"i'm y/n, i'm the new producer," you answer. "nice to meet you."
"you spill coffee on all of your coworkers, y/n?" he asks, and you roll your eyes.
"i said i was sorry-"
"here's hongjoong," san cuts you off. he reaches out for the napkins and smiles at his bandmate. "thanks man."
"so you've met y/n," hongjoong chuckles, trying to ease the tension. "she's really great, we're lucky to have her on the team." san doesn't reply, just nods and sends you a tightlipped smile as he dabs at his ruined t shirt. the fabric is basically translucent now, showing san's tan skin below and the definition of every single muscle. hongjoong clocks the way your eyes are trailing over san's torso and he clears his throat. "um, should we continue our tour?"
"yeah, sorry," you gesture for him to lead the way, and you hold san's gaze as you walk away. he's a dick, you think. that'll be fun.
-
"so is san always an asshole?" you yell over the loud music to jen as you follow her to a table. she insisted on taking you out for drinks to celebrate your first day, and after the morning you had, you need this.
"is he what?!" she shouts back.
"an asshole!"
"san?" she looks at you bewildered. "he's a sweetheart!"
"are we talking about the same guy?"
"are we?" jen questions as she finally pulls you to a table in the back. it's a little quieter back here, so you don't have to shout, but the music will still drown out your conversation so no one can eavesdrop. once you're both settled, she takes a sip of her drink and then, "spill."
"nothing to spill, i just think san is mean and i hate him," you say simply. "i spilled coffee on him, totally an accident, but he was a huge dick about it. wouldn't let me help him, didn't really introduce himself...it all felt off."
"to be fair, i would've been pissed if you had spilled coffee on me when we met," jen points out.
"yeah, but you would've been nicer in the aftermath," you shake your head. "it's whatever. i hopefully won't have to work that closely with him."
"and what about hongjoong?" jen wiggles her eyebrows. "i hear you two hit it off."
"he's nice," you smile shyly. "made my first day a lot easier. he was really patient with all my questions, which helped ease my nerves."
"he's really good at that," jen nods. she goes into a story about her first meeting with hongjoong, and it makes you laugh and endears you to the man more. she tells you stories of the other members, none of whom you met today, but now you're excited to get to know them. "they're all really nice, especially san and yunho. i feel like they're the ones that always check up on everybody-"
"san?"
"yes, your mortal enemy," she rolls her eyes. "he's a good guy, i promise. you just need to make up for the coffee thing and i think you'll be on his good side."
"i'll think about that," you mumble, taking a sip of your drink that almost drains the glass. "so who's this guy you're seeing?"
"whoa, looks like you need another one!" jen deflects. she grabs your glass and runs off to the bar to get another round, leaving you to sit and stew on your own. if san was such a nice guy, why was he only rude to you? it sounds like he isn't mean to other newbies, so it can't be some kind of hazing. whatever dislike he holds for you is personal, and that's making you even angrier. when jen comes back with your new drink she says, "you look mad. what did i miss?"
"can you find out why san hates me?" you ask, and you swear jen would punch you if she could reach across the table.
"he doesn't hate you!! you just made a bad impression! stop making him a villain," she begs you. "man, you're so obsessed with him. maybe someone has a crush?"
"please," you scoff. "just because he has muscles doesn't make up for his shit personality."
"so you like his muscles," jen smirks. "tell him that tomorrow, it'll boost his ego."
"i'm not listening to you anymore."
"but i have so much knowledge to share!" she whines, and you let jen tell you all the do's and don'ts of working at kq as the night goes on. maybe you'll take her advice and try to patch things up with san in the morning. could be worth a shot, right?
-
the next day, you're in one of the bigger studios to help hongjoong with a vocal arrangement. since the last album did so well with the unit songs, you and hongjoong wanted to experiment a little further. you excitedly told hongjoong about your hopes to compose and produce a harmony heavy vocal track, and he was all for it. you worked on the music for it last night, bringing about half of the song to hongjoong for you to play around with today. you both agreed it'd be good to have a guide version ready before you share it with the entire vocal line, so seonghwa offered to help out, too. he's in the booth now as you and hongjoong instruct him from your seats behind the soundboard. he finishes the final layer for the first harmony, and you wait as hongjoong lines it all up. he plays the snippet for you and seonghwa, and you notice both boys are waiting for your reaction.
"that was great, seonghwa," you encourage him. "i really liked it, but..."
"don't be shy," hongjoong nudges you, "he can take it."
"i can," seonghwa agrees. "give it to me straight. did it suck?"
"no, it was really beautiful actually," you assure him. "but for the melody, could you make it more...monotone? that might sound weird, but we're trying to play with the high and low harmony like they're the angel and devil sitting on your shoulder, and for those to stand out the melody needs to be less...captivating."
"you hear that? she thinks your voice is captivating," hongjoong smiles to seonghwa, and he beams at you.
"i get that," he nods. "can i try it another way?"
you help hongjoong reset, and then seonghwa tries another layer in a sadder voice. it's just as powerful, but will be the perfect conduit for the story you're trying to tell. when he finishes, they look to you again and find you smiling proudly.
"that was it," you nod. "great job."
"thanks boss," seonghwa says as he steps out of the booth. "who do you want me to bring in next?"
"you can call san, we'll get him to do the high part and then-"
"san?" you look at hongjoong. "i thought seonghwa was doing the guide vocals."
"well, usually we could do with just one voice, but this song would work best with three distinct voices," hongjoong explains. "i don't think the guys would get it if it's harder to distinguish the different levels, you know?"
"right," you agree, just a little dejected.
"so..." seonghwa trails off. "should i go get him?"
"yeah, tell him to meet us here in ten," hongjoong tells him. seonghwa says his goodbyes and then hoongjoong turns to you. "you alright?"
"i'm good," you reply. "feel a little in over my head, but good."
"you're doing great," hongjoong says, placing his hand over yours on the desk. "it's a lot to jump into, and i'm sorry if it seemed like i was-"
"no, i needed the insight-"
"because i value your opinion-"
"i know that-"
"and-" hongjoong is cut off from finishing his thought because the studio door opens to reveal san. he's wearing another skin tight t shirt, black this time, so even if you spilled another coffee on him it would be harder to notice. he's paired it with a beanie and baggy black pants, and if what you're seeing is correct, he's not wearing any underwear. he stands there staring at you both before his eyes fall to your hand still beneath hongjoong's, and the two of you separate like you've just been shocked.
"i'm not interrupting anything, am i?" san asks suspiciously, and you viciously shake your head as hongjoong tells san to get into the booth. he explains the idea to san and queues up seonghwa's melody as san struggles to put the headphones on over his hat, so you lean into the mic and suggest, "try taking the hat off, maybe?"
"thanks, big help," he says sarcastically. he listens anyway, tossing his beanie away like he's mad at it. "so what am i doing? copying hwa?"
"no," you say sternly. "you're singing the high harmony. we'll layer it over seonghwa's vocals, but your voice needs to be distinct. you can practice if you want-"
"i don't need to practice," san cuts you off, staring daggers at you. "just play it." he keeps his eyes on you as he listens, and you feel nervous. he's listening to your song, your lyrics, and you think you see the slightest flicker of emotion in his eyes as seonghwa's voice fades. he doesn't comment on it, just continues staring at you and says, "yeah, got it. you can record this."
"let's listen to it first, and then record the next one," you tell hongjoong, and he nods in agreement. you watch san get ready, and then you hear the most beautiful falsetto flowing over your track. it makes you emotional, and it's another instance of the coolness of your job hitting you. you're so mesmerized you miss san finishing on a bit of a creative note, so the boys are staring, waiting for your input.
"y/n?" hongjoong calls your name. "what'd you think?"
"that was," you clear your throat, "that was perfect, san."
"great," he nods, taking the headphones off, but you stop him.
"ah, we need to record it," you remind him, and you catch his groan through the mic.
"i thought i said to record that one?"
"you don't decide that," you reply, and hongjoong tries to diffuse.
"she has a specific vision for the song, so we wanted to hear you first and then decide if there were any notes before we record you."
"what's the vision?" san asks you, and he listens intently as you explain. when you're done, he takes a deep breath and says clearly into the mic, "that sounds stupid. but i'll do it again. make sure you're recording this time."
"whatever you say, asshole," you mumble, angrily getting the track ready for his bratty voice. you wish you could stay mad at him, but as soon as he starts to sing you're enchanted. again, you get distracted by his voice, the emotion in it and all over his face as he sings, and you think, if he says your idea was stupid, why was he putting so much heart into just a guide vocal? he finishes and you thank him, saving the track quickly before you turn to hongjoong and inform him you need a water break. he's left in the studio with san as he saunters out, but hongjoong meets him at the door.
"what's your problem?" he barks, livid at the way san was treating you during that session.
"uh, you're blocking my exit?" he asks, but that was the wrong thing to say. hongjoong dives into a lecture about respect, and san has to laugh. "oh, you want me to respect the girl who spilled coffee all over me yesterday? who thinks, on her second day, she can tell me how to do my job?"
"she's a producer, her job is to literally tell you what to do-"
"well i'm sorry i hurt your girlfriend's feelings," san spits. "but i did what you asked me to do, so please let me leave." hongjoong steps to the side, still fuming, and san walks out. you catch him in the hall as you return, and you want to stop him, to tell him how great he sounded, but when you lift your hand in greeting he turns the other way and disappears.
-
you get a break from work later that day and find jen making a coffee. she sees you coming and has a cup ready for you to make your own, and you catch up on your days as your coffee brews. you tell her about san's lovely time with you in the studio, and jen listens, but when you finish she asks, "and he was still like this after you said you liked his muscles?"
"i'm not telling him that," you mumble.
"telling who what?" wooyoung asks as he pops around the corner.
"mind your business?" jen replies. "have you met y/n yet? she's the new producer."
"no, but i've heard mixed reviews," wooyoung says as he dramatically shakes your hand. "can't wait to decide which side i'm on."
"there's sides?" you ask nervously.
"yep," he says with a pop on the p. "hongjoong and seonghwa worship the ground you walk on. san hates your guts, although i'm not sure why. you seem lovely."
"she is lovely," jen points out.
"hm," wooyoung squints playfully. "guess we'll have to wait and see."
"what about innocent until proven guilty?" you ask. "just assume you'll like me and then you will!"
"yeah, but san is a good judge of character," wooyoung shakes his head. "if he doesn't like you, then he's got a reason."
"is the reason because he's maleficent?"
"oo, maleficent, i like that," wooyoung coos. he turns to jen and asks, "why don't you use big words like that?"
"i'm afraid you wouldn't get them," she sighs.
"try me, i'm full of surprises baby," he winks at her before smacking her ass and walking away. you watch in confusion, and she waves it off.
"don't worry, he does that sometimes."
"to everybody?!"
"just to me," she shrugs, and then it clicks.
"he's your fling," you smile. "very nice."
"nuh uh."
"no, he totally is. that's elmo," you piece it together. "is that his nickname because of his laugh?"
"you were never supposed to meet him," jen defends herself.
"so getting me a job here wouldn't interfere with that?"
"i figured i could keep it a secret," she pouts.
"you did! for a whopping 36 hours, good job!"
"don't patronize me," she complains. "i could call san and have him here in seconds-"
"oh man, i need to go record something," you frown, "maybe you two could talk though? figure out why he's got an all burning hatred for me, an angel?"
"i'll get to the bottom of it," jen says, and you realize the error you've just made.
"wait, no, don't talk to him, please," you beg.
"too late, you've asked for my help, so i'll help," jen concedes easily. "he'll either love you or simply tolerate you by the end of the week, i promise."
"great, thanks..."
-
you've made it through your first week, yippee! you really like it here, you fit in well with the members, and the producers seem to really like your ideas. the only problem is san. you enter a room that he's in and it goes quiet. he passes you in the hall, and you're fuming for the rest of the day. everyone knows about your little rivalry at this point, but no one understands where it came from. even jen, who was determined to make you and san best friends, has lost hope.
you're able to make it a couple days without any more san run ins, and for that you are grateful. you and hongjoong have made a lot of progress on the vocal line track, and he's invited you to a few writing sessions with mingi for the rap line track. you're feeling invincible after one of those sessions, walking back to your studio, when you get the scare of your life. you enter the code to your studio, guard completely down, and jump out of your skin when you see someone sitting at your desk.
"what the fuck?!" you shriek, using the door as a shield. you peek around it and see that it's not an intruder. well, at least not one that wants to hurt you. maybe. it's san, so this interaction could go in any direction.
"hello," he says simply. "nice way to greet your guest."
"how'd you get into my studio?" you ask as you close the door. you wonder if you should keep it cracked open, just in case you and san get into it and you need a witness that he probably started it.
"i needed to ask you a question," san responds instead, and you cock your head in confusion. "i can't do that?"
"i don't know, can you?"
"your song. the vocal one. how's it going?"
you're surprised this is what he wanted to talk about but, honestly, what else were you expecting? this is a normal work interaction, you think. you're just not used to having those with san. since san is sitting in your desk chair, you pull your stool over to the desk pathetically and perch on top of it as you shoot san a glare.
"can you move over? i need to get to my keyboard."
"aw, can't reach over my muscles?" san teases, and you feel your blood run cold.
"what?"
"my muscles? little birdie told me you liked them."
"what are you doing in my studio, san."
"i wanted to hear your song," he shrugs. you wait for him to move out of the way, but apparently that's not happening. you grumble as you lean over him and type, pulling the project file up on your screen. you check the volume before you hit play and look back to see san watching you intently. he's close, your arms brushing and his head only a few inches from yours. you hold his gaze for a second and then hit play, sitting back as you watch him listen. you can't read his expression as the song plays, but you don't care what he has to say. you love this song, and you think it's turning out great. whatever he has to say isn't important to you-
"wow," he whistles. "i get it now."
"get what?"
"why you're so pretentious about your work," san smirks as he side eyes you.
"is that supposed to be an insult?" you ask, trying to gauge his reaction.
"not really," he shakes his head.
"well it's not a compliment," you tell him.
"i'll work on that," he says as he stands. he puts his hands on your desk to support himself as he rises, and you swear to god, he's flexing his arms a ridiculous amount. nobody needs that much upper body strength just to get out of a rolley chair.
"hey!" you call as he walks away. "what the hell?"
"do you have to curse all the time?" san asks with look of distaste. "it's not very polite."
"nor are you."
"nice," he nods. "well, i'll be around-"
"no, wait, why'd you come in here?" you ask as you follow him out of your studio. "you just wanted to listen to the song?"
"yeah?" he shrugs, turning to face you in the hallway. he's standing so close you have to lean back to look at him properly, and you frown.
"i don't believe you."
"why not?" san smirks. "you wanted me in your studio for another reason?"
"no-"
"you're not the only one who likes to stare, doll," he says quietly, leaning down so his ears are just barely brushing your ear. he straightens back up before you can melt into a puddle on the floor, and then he smiles what might be his first genuine smile in your presence. "so maybe i didn't just come here for the song. but now i've heard it, and i know don't hate it, so i think we're done here."
and with that very confusing information, san walks away.
-
san is tired. he's been practicing for their seoul concert since the early hours of the morning, and he needs a break. it's almost an acceptable time to eat lunch, so he grabs his things and starts the short walk to his favorite convenience store. he likes this one because it's got a seating area in the back where he can eat, giving him some time to himself. it's secluded enough he doesn't have to worry about being bothered, but it has a good view of the street outside so he can people watch. it's the perfect spot for him to rest and enjoy his food, so he leaves the company with a pep in his step.
he grabs all of his favorites, moving on autopilot, and pays for them quickly. he takes everything back to his usual table and prepares his feast. now that he's stopped working, he feels the tiredness in his bones and realizes how hungry he actually was. when did he eat last? was it dinner? that was more than twelve hours ago, so maybe he can get away with eating another ramen before he goes...
san is considering whether or not he should get up and grab more food as he stares through the store window. there's people rushing to work, couples going to lunch, families wrangling kids. he watches with a smile as one family, a mother and father, try to handle what looks like a girl and two twins. that job is way harder than anything he's doing as an idol, he thinks. he watches fondly as they walk away, and when he turns back, his smile falls.
you and hongjoong are crossing the street, engaged in some conversation that's making you both laugh. you make a joke that sends a laugh crashing up from within hongjoong's chest, and san scoffs as he watches you stare in admiration. hongjoong rushes forward and opens the door to the convenience store for you, and san hears the end of your sentence as you enter.
"-didn't have to do that," san catches, and he hears hongjoong make a dismissive sound in response. "wow, there's a lot of food here."
"you see why we like this place so much," hongjoong responds. san can't see you, but your voices are getting closer. "there's something for everyone."
"there's so much, i don't know what to pick..." you trail off.
"get whatever you want," hongjoong says. "it's on me."
"what? no-"
"ah ah, no arguments. consider it a welcome gift."
"well thank you," san hears you squeak, and he can just imagine the way you must be blushing, looking at hongjoong so shyly, pretending to be coy-
"oh, hey san," hongjoong greets. you come to a stop behind him, bumping into his back, and san has to laugh. "didn't know you were here."
"didn't tell anyone i was leaving," san shrugs. he leans over, trying to catch your eye, and waves. "hi y/n."
"hi san."
"are you eating here?" san asks, and hongjoong shakes his head.
"ah, no, we were just taking a break," he replies. "i was going to buy us lunch and then we're gonna head back."
"got it," san nods, still looking at you. "carry on then."
"thanks for your permission," you mumble, holding onto the back of hongjoong's shirt as he turns you down another aisle. he starts looking for a snack he wants you try, but he can't see it. he looks up, eyes flitting around the store, and his face lights up.
"oh! it's over there! be right back!" he runs off, and you continue scanning the shelves. you're not that hungry, but you know you won't have time to leave again, so you need to get enough food for lunch and dinner probably. you're reading the ingredients on one of the prepackaged meals when you feel a presence behind you. turning, you see san looming above, and you jump.
"shit," you hiss. "wear a bell."
"need help pronouncing the big words?" he asks.
"yeah, come closer and let me show you."
"you having fun?" san sneers, and your confused expression makes him clarify, "with your boyfriend."
"what?"
"oh come on, letting him buy your lunch, holding onto him like that...you're eating it up, aren't you?"
"i don't know what you mean," you say as you step around san, but your face is red. he's getting to you.
"it's cute, really," he says, beating you to the end of the aisle. he puts his arm out, effectively blocking your way, and he continues staring down at you in that frustrating way of his. like he wants to swallow you whole. "how long do you think it'll last?"
"if you're asking about my patience i'm afraid that ship sailed a while ago," you try to fight back, but san just laughs.
"you're cute, you know? you try to be so tough, but it doesn't work. i see right through you."
"and what do you see?" you ask as you cross your arms. san bares his teeth, ready to quip back, but his eyes catch on something behind you. you look over your shoulder and see hongjoong holding up a bag, a confused look in his eyes.
"found the sweet potatoes," he says as he approaches. "what are you doing?"
"getting to know our coworker," san says nonchalantly, removing himself from your personal space. "i'll let you go. my food's getting cold."
"sure," hongjoong says skeptically, reaching for you. he tries to guide you away with his hand at your back, but you can feel san's eyes still on you. you turn and his hand politely falls away, but san's eyes follow you through the rest of the store. he gets an idea when you go back to the drink coolers, so san finishes his food quickly and heads to the front.
when you and hongjoong are finally ready to pay, you go to the register and hongjoong reaches for his wallet. the woman behind the counter shakes her head, showing a stack of bills to tell you it's been taken care of. you look around and find san halfway out the door, a wicked smile on his face. he waves at you teasingly before the door dings closed, and hongoong happily takes the food, babbling about how nice san is as you leave.
-
later that day, the boys are getting fitted for their tour outfits. each practice room has been converted into a walk in closet + vanity combo, so you peek your head in to see how it's going. jen spots you and waves you over to her station, and you duck through the racks of clothes to say hi to your friend. you're taken aback when you see who she's working on, but jen laughs and assures you it's ok.
"he won't bite, he's asleep," she says about the pouting san she's working on currently. "he was here all night, apparently. he knocked out before i could even say hi."
"are you sure he's asleep and not faking it?" you ask as you tentatively sit in the chair next to him. it's enough distance away that you're not concerned by the proximity, but you keep an eye on him as you talk. "maybe he doesn't want to talk."
"hey, san likes me, so i know he's not faking it," jen tells you. "he and i get along really well."
"congratulations," you mumble as you reach for a makeup brush to play with. "so how was your day?"
you and jen catch up as she works on san, periodically asking for your opinion on the look she's created for him. you know she's trying to get you to say something nice about him, to slip up and call him handsome or sexy, but you won't budge. all the compliments you give are very makeup forward, but she won't let up. she's also not being gentle in her application, so you really are afraid san is awake and listening. she's almost done with him when wooyoung walks up, greeting you happily.
"hey y/n!" he chirps. "nice to see you! you're in my seat."
"oh, my bad," you scramble to get up. you got comfortable, your feet propped on one of the giant makeup cases before you. jen puts a hand out to stop you, turning to wooyoung with a trying-to-be-stern look in her eyes.
"my friend and i are not done talking."
"well your boss told me to come over here and get my makeup done, so unless you want me to stand..." wooyoung trails off as jen finishes with san's face. she turns to him and nods.
"standing is fine," she says, quickly getting to work on wooyoung's base layer. "i'll work fast so you don't have to stand long."
"but then i don't get to bug you as long," wooyoung whines.
"life's cruel like that, huh?"
"come on, i know i'm your favorite part of this job," wooyoung teases, and you share a silent laugh with him as jen blushes profusely. once wooyoung catches your eye, his attention turns to you, and he asks, "what about you, y/n? now that you've been here a few days, what's your favorite part of this job?"
"san's abs," jen answers for you, and you try your best to kick her. you accidentally nudge san's chair and freeze, but he doesn't stir.
"oh yeah? let's tell him-"
"no!" you shout, and if he wasn't awake now he definitely is. he still doesn't move, but you continue in a softer voice, "um, no. don't do that. uhh, my favorite part of the job...i don't wanna be a kiss ass, but it's probably working with hongjoong."
"of course it is," san mumbles, and even though he spoke quietly it makes you jump. he opens his eyes and your skin sets fire as soon as he looks at you. "you're in wooyoung's chair."
"he's having jen time," you counter. "let him enjoy it."
"yeah, let me enjoy it!" wooyoung agrees.
"san, what do you think of the eye makeup i did? tried something new," jen says as she focuses on wooyoung's eyes now. san sits up and looks in the mirror, but he's not looking at himself. he's watching you pretend like a strand on your sweater is the most interesting thing in the world, so he decides to call your attention.
"y/n? what do you think?" san asks, and you meet his gaze through the mirror. you're shocked to realize he's checking you out, blatantly, your cardigan falling off your shoulder to reveal your bra underneath. you were in a rush this morning and thought that would be enough. surely no one would notice you weren't wearing a tank, since this bra could pass as long as your sweater stayed up. but right now it's not, so san can see an entire cup, and he's almost drooling. instead of answering his question you look over at jen and repeat your earlier compliments as you pull your sweater tight around your torso.
"yeah, it looks good," you say again. "now that he's awake and you can see his eyes, you did a good job, uh, highlighting them."
"eloquent," san chides, and this time you intentionally kick his chair. he grabs your ankle before you can pull back, and tugs, bringing you closer.
"big word," wooyoung whispers, and you can hear jen smack him as you lift your eyes to san's. he's looking at you with that hungry gaze you're coming to get used to, and he rewords his question.
"what do you like about it specifically?" he tries as he leans in, and you hold your breath as you stare. this is closer than you've ever been, and you can smell hints of cologne that have your head spinning. alarms are going off in your head to run, but with san's hand still on your leg, you're trapped.
"you drool in your sleep, you know that?" you decide to say, ignoring his question completely. he's surprised enough that his grip on you loosens and you're able to bolt from the chair, grabbing your things as you say a quick goodbye to jen and wooyoung. they're watching on, amused with your little show, and when you're fully out of the room san collapses back into the chair with a groan.
"she's right," jen says. "i had to get napkins to mop up your spit."
"sorry," san grumbles.
"when are you gonna tell her?" wooyoung asks, and san makes a confused sound to encourage him to explain. "y/n. when are you gonna say that you're into her?"
"i'm not into her," san rolls his eyes.
"yeah, right," wooyoung laughs. "and me and jen aren't fucking."
"hey!" and another smack. they continue bickering as san stares at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes falling to the chair you just occupied.
-
the next few days, you spend a lot of time in your studio. too much maybe, but you need to get this vocal track finished. all the boys have recorded their parts, and now it's down to you to get the final mix to the other producers by monday. it's friday now, and you know you can't pull any all nighters this weekend - the boys want you to come to their shows, so you'd like to be finished with the track before you leave today.
it's weird, being here so late at night. you think you're the last one left, hongjoong left with the rest of the members and the producers started trickling out about two hours ago. you don't mind being here on your own, you know the security is fine, but it's still eerie. when you got another coffee just now, you caught yourself jumping at the slightest sounds. you could've sworn you heard footsteps following you, but after investigating you realized it was the sound of your own that scared you. you hunker down for another spell in your studio, and you get a lot closer to the product you want. hongjoong kept telling you it didn't need to be perfect, it still had to go through critiques so it would probably change a lot, but you can't let your first project here be a mess. it at least needs to meet your standards, so you keep working.
you're not sure how much later it is, but you wake yourself when your head falls off your propped up arm. you fell asleep listening to the final track, wanting to check for any mistakes, so you don't know how long it's been looping while you slept. you listen through one last time, almost satisfied, but you hear something that sounds off. you try another listen, and realize it's not coming from your speakers, it's coming from somewhere else.
heart racing, you press your ear to the door of your studio and curse the sound proofing. you can make out a noise, but not enough to figure out what it is from the safety of this room. you look around for a weapon, something to protect you, and all you see are stray wires. you find one long enough and wrap it around your fists, pulling the wire taught between them. worst case scenario you garrote the intruder and then call for help, but you're being dramatic. whatever is out there can't be a threat, can it?
you open your studio door and follow the sound. in your tired state, you recognize a song, but you can't place it or where it's coming from. you tiptoe down the hall toward the practice rooms, and spy light coming from a door at the end of the hall. so it must be one of the members, you think. or maybe the bb trippin guys came early to prep for the show. whatever it is, you keep walking, aware now that the song you heard is wake up, one of your favorites. the boys were cryptic about the setlist, wanting it to be a surprise for you this weekend, but you get excited at the thought of what kind of mystical performance they could do for this song. when you reach the door, you stop cold, seeing maybe the last person you expected it to be.
san is dancing, quite sexually, to the music bumping through the speakers. he's in baggy sweats and a tank top that shows off his figure and his ridiculously chiseled muscles, and you can't help it. you stare, watching in awe as he drops it low and grinds around to a song you never expected to be portrayed like this. as he's on the ground, a tie hanging from his teeth, his eyes flick to yours through the mirror. you gasp, and he smirks, somehow able to catch the sound of your breath hitching over the loud music. he feels proud of himself, knowing he's got you so shocked, but when he finishes the portion he's working on, he looks to the mirror and you're gone.
you're rushing down the hall back to your studio. what the fuck was that. you had a physical reaction to san, and not a good one. and he saw you! that's humiliating, you'll never be able to look at him again-
"where ya goin doll?" his deep voice asks. he's right behind you, and before you can sprint off to your studio, he grabs your shoulders and pushes you against the nearest door. when you come face to face, he's breathing heavy, and you assume that's because of the intense choreography he just worked through. little do you know, being this close to you, smelling that annoying perfume that follows you around, touching you, all of this is taking his breath away. his hands trail down your shoulders to your hands, and he looks at you quizzically when he finds the wire wrapped tightly in your fists. "what's this?"
"i, uh, i thought i was the only one here? so when i heard something i looked for uh. i wanted something to protect myself with," you explain, embarrassed by how dramatic that sounds.
"you're a badass," san chuckles, lifting your hands by the wire hanging between them.
"i thought cursing wasn't polite," you remind him of his own words, and he laughs again.
"i just said that to piss you off."
"you're insufferable," you groan, trying to twist away from the man in front of you.
"and you're in a bit of a pickle, aren't you?" he smiles at you evilly. "can't get away, little kitten?"
"let go of me, san," you say steadily, but he just keeps smiling.
"why would i? i've finally got you right where i want you."
"what?" you breathe out.
"you couldn't tell? i've wanted you since i laid eyes on you."
"wanted me?" you scoff. "i'm not a steak."
"but you went and spilled that coffee on me, and then you were so delightful during our recording session, i just kept falling harder and harder for you," he teases.
"you're shit at showing how you feel."
"and you're shit at hiding how you feel," he smirks. "i know you want me, doll. that's why i acted the way i did. it was fun messing with you, letting you think i hated you. wanted to see how far i could push it."
"that's so middle school of you san," you complain, pushing your finger into his chest. "if you were a real man you would've done something about this already instead of playing a bunch of games."
"if i was a real man?" he chuckles lowly, and he's so close you feel it in your stomach. "baby, you haven't been with a real man til you've been with me."
"prove it," you whisper, but your breath gets caught as san pulls your hands above your head by the wire still wrapped around them. he holds your wrists in place as his other hand squeezes your waist, and he watches you squirm with glee in his eyes.
"prove it? you sure you can handle me doll?"
"do your your worst," you smirk, and then he's crashing his lips to yours. the kiss is fierce, all teeth and tongue, and you gasp as his hand travels up your waist and beneath your shirt. he traces the skin beneath your hoodie, smirking into your lips when he discovers you're not wearing a bra.
"i like it when you make things easy for me," he breathes out against your neck, his lips making their way across your skin and leaving little marks as he pleases. his hand beneath your shirt traces beneath each breast before leaving a featherlight trail to your nipple, and he surprises you with a quick pinch. you gasp again, giving him a chance to return his lips to your mouth and press his tongue past your lips. he kisses you one last time before pulling from your lips, asking, "should we take this inside?"
"wha?" you murmur, twisting to look at the door behind you. "but, san, this isn't my studio-"
"i know, it's hongjoong's," he says as he punches the code in. "he won't mind."
"i do!" you squeak out as san opens the door and pushes you inside. "san, seriously, we're not having sex in here!"
"we're having sex?" san teases, and you use your newly released hands to beat against his chest. "take that stupid wire off, baby. you're gonna need your hands."
"for what?" you grumble, listening to him anyway. when your hands are free, you notice the little indents left from the wire, and san surprises you by taking your hands into his softly. his thumb rubs over the raw skin, and he stares darkly at you as he lifts your hands to his lips. he kisses over the sore spots and up your wrists, whining cutely when he hits the fabric of your shirt.
"take this off," he tugs on your sleeve, and you shake your head.
"only if you take your shirt off too," you counter, and he easily lets go of you to remove his tank top. you hate the way you're staring, but you can't help it. he's beautiful, and you're mesmerized. he calls your name, the first time he's said it all night, and you find his eyes staring at you softly. "right, sorry," you mumble, pulling your hoodie off, not so accidentally catching it on your tits so they release with a bounce. san groans as he watches on, and then his hands are on you again, cupping your tits and teasing your nipples. you moan softly, reaching for his head to pull him into another kiss. your hands wrap around to his neck, one sweeping down to feel his soft, sweaty skin. you trace over the muscles in his chest, the lines of his abs, and end at his waistband. his hand reaches down to stop you before you can continue, and he pulls back to ask, "do you trust me?"
"do i trust you? not completely," you answer honestly. "maybe you don't hate me as much as you made me believe, but i still think you're despicable."
"if i'm so despicable why are you letting me use you like a toy?" he jokes, pushing you down into hongjoong's desk chair. "if you trust me, i want you to do something for me. if you don't, tell me to shut up, and we'll go back to having sex. but it'll be more boring that way."
"can i get that in writing, you saying that sex with you is boring?" you tease, and san growls as he captures your lips in another kiss. he's caging you in, and when he releases your lips, he leans his forehead against yours as he speaks.
"start a new file on his computer," san says lowly. "and hit record when i say."
"you're kidding."
"like i said, do it if you trust me," he shrugs, his hands moving from the armrests to your waist. he starts tugging your pants down as he continues. "if you don't trust me, then we just fuck like normal and go on with our lives."
"san, i-"
"are you gonna make the file?" he asks, kneeling in front of you. you open and close your mouth like a fish, but then you're moving without thinking. you twist in his hold, punching in hongjoong's password and finding the mixing app. you start a new project, label it inconspicuously, and then settle back in the chair. san is looking at you proudly, and he praises you, "good girl."
"what now?" you ask quietly, and san separates your legs further. he starts kissing up your leg, starting at your knee, and when he gets to your panties, he whispers, "i make you come."
he pulls yours panties down then, hissing as he watches your arousal cling to the fabric, and he smiles. "oh, she's pretty."
"i didn't know you were capable of giving me a compliment," you quip, and san bites your thigh to shut you up.
"wasn't talking to you," he says against your skin, leaving kisses along the inside of your thigh until he reaches your core. he brings his hands up to spread you open for him, and he stares in admiration at how wet you are, just for him. he leans in and you wait to feel his lips, his tongue, something, but instead you feel something wet land on your clit. san spit on your pussy, and he brings his hand up to rub the sensitive spot as he blows on your entrance.
"i thought you said you were gonna make me come," you whine, and he nods.
"i will. when i want to."
"san-" you whimper, lifting your hips as he continues playing with your clit and neglecting the rest of you.
"you want more doll?" he asks, his eyes staring at you darkly. you look down at him and nod, but he pinches your thigh in response. "words, baby."
"want more, san," you groan. "need your tongue."
"hit record and i'll give you what you want," he smirks below you, and you're so horny you can't even think about fighting back. you turn around and press record, san's lips finding your clit immediately. he licks over the bundle of nerves, prodding a finger at your entrance as he listens to your sweet moans. he fucks his finger into you once, twice, then adds another. you whine above him, your hands catching on his hair as you try to push him closer. he licks up every drop of you, fucking you on his fingers, and moans into your pussy for good measure. the vibration seends you reeling, and you whisper out, "fuck, san."
"who?"
"san, fuck! feels so good."
"yeah? you wanna come?" he asks, leaning his head on your thigh as he stares at you writhing above him. you're watching him with hooded eyes as he adds another finger, fucking you open for him. you lift your hips again, trying to make him move faster. "d'you still hate me, doll?"
"no," you whisper shyly, and he smiles.
"say it louder."
"i don't hate you," you moan out, his fingers scissoring you open as his lips return to your clit. he sucks harshly, and you let out a whine that turns into a frustrated scream. "faster."
"hm?"
"faster, please," you beg, "please, please, fuck. 'm gonna come."
"let me hear you, baby," he mumbles into your core. "who's making you feel so good?"
"san, you, fuck-" your voice tapers off as you hold your breath and crash into your release. you're clenching around san so deliciously, he groans into your clit and does his best to help you ride out your high. you're trying to catch your breath as. san cleans you up, slurping obscenely, and in your post-nut clarity you realize what you've done. you turn around, frantically trying to stop the recording, but san stands above you and catches your hands again.
"what are you doing?" he growls, and you blubber out a response.
"he can't, we can't, i have to delete it, i'm not-"
"not what? not enjoying yourself?" san asks. "because i'm looking at a dripping pussy that tells a different story."
"we need to go somewhere else," you hiss, and san shakes his head.
"i think we're doing fine right here," he smirks, kissing you deeply so you can taste yourself on his tongue. you bite his bottom lip as he tries to pull away, and he groans.
"is it my turn now?" you ask, and you watch fire spark across san's eyes.
"your turn to what, baby?"
"drive you insane?" you ask innocently, pushing san away so you can stand. you keep pushing him until he hits the wall, and you drop to your knees. you waste no time pulling his pants down, revealing his lack of underwear. you look up at him and ask, "you makin things easy for me, babe?"
"no," he smirks down at you. "bet you can't even fit it in your mouth."
"you're full of yourself," you point out as you spit into your hand. you bring it to his cock, stroking over his soft skin. "you liked eating me out this much?"
"it wasn't bad," san nods. "wouldn't mind doing it again."
"maybe later," you mumble, bringing his tip to your lips. you spit again, watching as it dribbles down his shaft, you stroke him a few more times, flicking your tongue over his tip teasingly. he's trying so hard not to lose it above you, and the way he's biting his lip to keep quiet pisses you off. without warning, you swallow him whole, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you try to fit him all in your mouth. he cries out above you, his hands tangling in your hair. he pulls you off of him completely, gasping for breath above you. "hey. i wasn't done."
"not gonna last," he says shyly, and you feel your ego grow ten sizes. "need to fuck you."
"eh, i'm getting tired-"
"shut up," he growls, pulling you up by your hair and slamming his lips into yours again. "go bend over his desk."
"you're sick," you tell him, obeying anyway.
"you're into it," san says cockily, adjusting your hips as he comes up behind you. "make sure you're right up to the mic, doll. wanna hear this." you hate yourself for it, but you find the mic in front of you and pull it closer. you feel his hands on your ass, pulling you apart as he stares at your pussy again. "so pretty for me," he sighs, removing a hand to bring his cock to your entrance. he teases your hole a few times, laughing when you jerk back and try to catch his tip. "impatient girl."
"just fuck me," you say clearly, and he responds by giving you exactly what you want. he thrusts into you, splitting you open, and you moan so loud it's embarrassing. san stays still, giving you a minute to adjust, but you start fucking back into him, and he gets the hint. he grabs onto your ass again, and then he's fucking into with no control. your mouth hangs open as he fucks you hard and fast, and san frowns. he smacks your ass and feels you clench around him as he barks, "lemme hear you." so you moan, and whine, and altogether let go. you're a babbling mess, mumbling incoherently about how good it feels, how he fucks you just right, how his cock is perfect, you can't stop. san is eating it up, fucking into you so deep you can feel him in your gut.
too soon, he's pulling out, and you let out a pathetic cry. san pulls you up by your hips, his hands smoothing over your skin, as he explains, "wanna watch you when you come." he helps you sit on hongjoong's desk, lifting your legs up so you're completely exposed to him. he holds your thighs open and tries to fuck back into you, but you have to help him, taking his wet cock and guiding it back to your entrance. he thrusts into you, slotting his hips against yours, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. he should've fucked you like this the whole time, he thinks, because he can't stop staring. you look so perfect, so blissed out, and it spurs him on. he holds one thigh down as his other hand wraps around your waist, holding you in place as he fucks you.
"i'm gonna come, baby," he warns. "where do you want it?"
"my stomach," you gasp out. "wanna see it."
"fuck, you're insane."
"don't slow down," you whine, holding onto san's broad shoulders like your life depends on it. you let him fuck you senseless, clenching around him as you get closer. he brings his hand around to rub his thumb over your clit, and you jerk away in sensitivity. "can't take it, san, gonna come-"
"then come for me," he begs. "need you to come first."
"fuck, san, fuck," you gasp, digging into his shoulders as you hold him in place. you clench around him until he can't take it anymore, and he pulls out, his forehead against yours as you watch him stroke himself. he comes quickly, painting your skin, and you moan breathlessly as you watch him empty himself over you. "fuck, that's hot."
"we should do that again," san smirks at you, and you playfully push against his chest. you leave your hands on him as you respond, "not now. i'm exhausted."
"how long have you been here?" san asks, sudden concern in his voice.
"too long," you sigh, noticing how raw your throat feels. you cough, your back bumping into the mic behind you. "oh shit. i need to turn this off." you look at san as you crouch down, saving the file and sending it to yourself. "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?"
"listen to it when you get lonely?" san jokes, and you push him. "use it in a song, maybe?"
"that would get me fired," you inform him, making sure you've deleted all traces of it from hongjoong's computer. satisfied, you turn to san and cross your arms over your chest. "was this your plan all along? you get me to record a salacious audio and then blackmail me with it?"
"you still think i hate you?" he asks, brushing your hair behind your ear. "bummer. thought we'd moved past that after your first orgasm."
"i'm just saying, if this was an elaborate plan to get me to leave, i commend the effort-"
"y/n," he says softly, and you meet his eyes. they're serious for once, which is odd. "i don't hate you, and i don't want to get you fired."
"good to know," you squeak. his gaze is too intense for you, so you start looking for your clothes and then remember the mess on your stomach. "oh, yuck-"
"here, let me clean you up," san says, searching for tissues. he holds onto you carefully as he wipes up his release, pulling a few extra tissues to clean the mess between your legs.
"see, if you'd just let me help you like this on my first day, we wouldn't have been mortal enemies for so long," you joke.
"yeah, but we wouldn't have fucked like that if i had been nice to you from the start."
"so what now?" you ask as you get dressed. "you said you wanna do that again?"
"don't you?" san asks, his pants halfway up his legs. you unashamedly stare at his cock before you respond, but he's got his answer.
"i mean, if you want-"
"i do," he interjects. "whenever you want me. i'll be there."
"is this what everyone means, when they say you're so nice?" you ask genuinely. san comes over to you, wrapping his hands around your waist before he kisses you.
"guess you'll have to find out, huh?"
800 notes · View notes
adventuringblind · 1 year ago
Text
Keep me Close
Past Jules Bianchi x reader, platonic Charles Leclerc x Reader
Genre: angst
Request: yepyep finally got me some angst things to write
Summary: Charles's new girlfriend can't understand why he's so attached to the reader
Warnings: talks of death, name calling, a table gets flipped
Notes: I definitely didn't cry writing this at one point. Also, no hate to Alex!! I know hardly anything about her, but I know her and Charles are currently together, and it fits the Timeline, so please bear with me.
Masterlist
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Your love for Jules was something you find in fairy tales. It was beautiful, and both of you felt connected on a level deeper than anything imaginable.
It started when you were both merely kids. You were six, and he was eight. The two of you had met at the wedding of a mutual friend. Dressed in nice clothing, he'd marched right up to you and claimed to be a knight looking for a princess.
You were inseparable after that. It was like you'd found your soulmate.
When you turned eighteen, Jules had immediately proposed. And when you countered by asking if you were both too young, he said, 'Why waste time when I know I'll love you forever?'"
You'd gotten close with Leclerc family. Specifically with Charles since Jules was named godfather. He spent a great deal of time with you and Jules.
Then 2014. Everyone was sure Jules was going to get a seat with Ferrari. It would be a crime if he didn't.
You remember kissing him, good luck. The last feeling of his lips on your before getting in the car.
You remember telling him to be safe with the rain; that you love him dearly. He replied with his signature wink and an 'I love you more and I always am.'
Then everything stopped. The world seemed to no longer spin. Time refused to move forward as you willed it to go back.
It couldn't be real. There was no way it had happened. You still thought that as you sat at his bedside faithfully for months. There wasn't a world you wanted to live in if it didn't have Jules.
Charles was similarly devastated. He'd lost someone dear to him. The boy spent all his free time sitting with you in the hospital. Even bringing around food that Pascale had made to keep you alive. Something you didn't want to be at that moment.
The bond you'd formed with Charles during this time is hard to explain. There is nothing romantic. He's family despite the age gap not being that large.
He was, and is still, family. You'd promised to still take care of him despite the loss of Jules, and he promised to do the same in his stead.
The start of the 2024bseason brings on an interesting turn of events. Charles had split with his girlfriend before the new year and is now with his new girlfriend Alex.
You like her. She's very sweet as far as you've been told. But there is something there that makes you worry. You just blame the fact that you want the best for Charles.
The first time you met her was at a family dinner. Charles brought Alex with him to introduce her to everyone.
You were actually the first person he introduced her to. You felt honored, but there was something behind her eyes that you couldn't quite pinpoint. But you kept it to yourself and made friendly conversation.
The next time you saw her was when she dropped by the Leclerc family home unannounced. The position she caught you in wasn't a bad one, but it probably didn't look good to her.
Charles had a rough race in Monaco, as per usual, and was laying with his head in your lap while you ran fingers through his hair. It's the same thing Jules had done when Charles was a child after a bad Karting race.
Alex definitely didn't look pleased with you. But she managed to put kn a smile and say hello.
It was awkward. Especially after Charles and her went into another room because you could hear them talking in hushed whispers.
Your fingers find the chain with your wedding ring on it. Your lips press against the cold metal as you hold the ring to your mouth. "I hope I'm doing this right, Jules. It's hard without you here."
The last time you saw Alex was at a birthday party. Your birthday party. Something you don't like having after Jules because he was the one who always made the day special.
Charles is a stubborn man though and decided it was necessary. Partly because this is his way of remembering that you are alive and with them, but it also gives him and excuse to drink and dance.
It wasn't anything massive. Or at least - not a massive as it could have been. There were a good number of people crowded into your Monaco home. The food is good, and the music is better. It definitely felt like a party Jules would have dragged you to in your youth.
It's not long until Charles appears at the door with Alex in tow. He comes to you, and you embrace him as usual. The smile on his face makes everything worth it. despite having to deal with a party for a few hours.
Pierre also finds you and starts up conversation. The three of you fail to notice the fourth becoming increasingly agitated.
A loud crashing sound pulls all of their attention. Alex flipped over the table in her agitation and is now sending chills down your spine with the look on her face.
"Why are you so determined to be some kind of homewrecker! Why can't you just stop being a creep to Charles and let us live in peace!" She screams. It hits your mind like a shadow. The world fades away, and your thoughts are filled with the doubts you have daily.
Tears fill your eyes, and your body goes rigid. "I'm Charles' godmother. Y/N Bianchi. I am no homewrecker." You choke.
Charles and Pierre take a protective step in front of you. "Get out!" Charles' voice drips with venom. Alex looks stunned. She doesn't move even as Charles shouts at her. "Nobody gets to speak like that to my family! Get out!"
Then she runs. Avoiding the gazes of disapproval.
Charles spins around and places his hands on your shoulders. His eyes scanning your face to assess the damage.
"I'm so sorry that happened. You're amazing. Always have been. And anyone who says differently is a fucking asshole."
Even through the tears, she smiles. Jules couldn't have left her in better hands.
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l13 · 1 year ago
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I just saw someone ask if you write for MHA. And girlie. Holy fuck. All Might, like the man is built as fuck but also kind of a loser. If you get my drift? Like yeah he’s this awesome hero, but the man is old, alone and kinda a dork.
I wanna be the young thing that saunters into his life and rides him until he’s begging me to stop. Wanna take lunch to him at work, all cute and lovey and wifey, then lean in to let him know I’m not wearing panties but I do have a vibrator. That man would explode, in more ways than one, and be a constant blushing awkward mess.
Thoughts?
this is exactly how i picture all might as well! we can share him and then he could have 2 controversial young gfs<33
so sorry that this doesn't contain any actual smut tho:(
CW: NSFW 18+, MDNI!!!, f!reader, age gap, lazy ass writing, not proofread
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He's a dilf but he's the touch-starved kind, the 'i haven't fucked someone in a long time' type, the one that you'll make a pussy enthusiast in just a couple of weeks, type<3
'cause at first he'd be reluctant y'know. Not only were you younger, but you were soooo out of his league (or so he thought). The prettiest thing he'd ever seen, really. And when you bluntly told him that you're interested in getting to know him better, he'd frowned a bit. He wanted to outright laugh at your words, but he didn't want to seem rude.
Poor man thought you were making fun of him so he tried to let you down gently, saying smth like “If it weren't for the age gap..” “You'll find someone younger, someone better, I'm sure.” and you'd faltered, apologizing for bothering him and scurrying off, embarrassed that you'd misjudged the situation
but then you kept running into him at your favorite coffee shop, politely engaging in small talk every time, and one day you didn't fail to notice how his gaze on you, lingered. How his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips, down to your cleavage, and back up again. It was so quick that you thought your mind was playing tricks on you but then he cleared his throat hurriedly, his adam's apple bobbing with the movement, and you knew.
“Say.. y'wanna sit with me for a bit?" second time's the charm right?
You watched as his eyes widened slightly, “Well, I was- I'm actually busy right now-”
“Just twenty minutes, I promise,”
And Yagi quickly realized that he couldn't say no to you. So he gave a small nod, his eyes crinkling as he smiled softly, “Twenty minutes,”
He never in his life thought he was going to be put in this situation, and looking back at it, he'd never be able to prevent it anyway. Because just after 10 minutes of you sitting and laughing at his stupid jokes, he'd felt a nudge just under his knee, and he'd pulled his leg back instinctively, not being able to drag his gaze from the way your eyebrows furrowed prettily, ���What's wrong?”
He shook his head, chuckling at his pathetic behavior “It's-” but then as he glanced under the table he saw your bare foot, save for the white stockings you wore, inching closer to his shin, and he snapped his eyes to yours, a shiver running down his back when he saw the look in your eyes- the mock concern masking the devilish glint quite well. “..nothing. Nothing's wrong I-” he trailed off as he felt your foot trailing up higher and Jesus Christ- when did you even take off your shoes?
Yagi let out another strained chuckle, looking around the small cafe, when he felt your foot on his plush thigh, making him jump. His hand shot down to grasp your foot reflexively, his jaw clenching as he locked eyes with you again. “What do you think you're doing?” he'd leaned a bit over the table to whisper to you, and you did the same, your head lazily resting on the palm of your hand as you pouted, “Let go of me, Yagi.”
He did as he was told immediately, and a part of him felt guilty, even when he'd done nothing wrong. “I'm sorry- but I just-”
Of course you shouldn't have let her go, you idiot. Did you think she was just gonna stop? He chides himself in his head because he can't do anything else. Because the foot that's pressing against his hard cock is clouding his judgement and he can't think of something to do.
A grunt escapes him when you rub him slightly over his dress pants, his hand coming up to cover his mouth, eyes still locked on yours. “You planned this didn't you?” you smile at that, your pretty lips closing around the straw of your drink as you take a sip, your foot pressing against his bulge harder.
Your gaze was trained on his hand, the one that was clutching the table with all its might (haha, get it), and you followed along the veins of his hand, up his forearms, to the point where they got lost under his shirt, the sleeves rolled up at his elbows. You licked your lips as you ran your eyes over his arms next, eyes hooded at the way the material of his shirt hugged his taut muscles. Finally, you looked up at him, enjoying the droplet of sweat falling down his temple, “I don't know what you mean,”
And Yagi knew he was fucked.
 ‹𝟹
Months later, you saunter over to Yagi’s office, pretty summer dress swirling as you walk, Yagi's lunch packed with a cute little bow on top, in hand. You knock on his door, not waiting for him to answer before you’re pulling the door open, walking in and pushing it closed behind you. Yagi’s eyes snap to your figure, one eyebrow raised, his gaze immediately softening once he realizes who you are, “Princess? What are you doing here?” 
You grin at him giddily, walking closer to his desk as he takes off his glasses running a hand down his face before he’s looking up at you with tired eyes- the corner of his lips quirking up despite his exhaustion.
“Brought you lunch-” his heart swells in his chest, pushing his chair back as he stands and walks around the table to stand in front of you, bending down to give your lips the softest kiss, his hand caressing your cheek. “You didn’t have to, pretty.”
“I wanted to. Besides, I missed you so much Toshi,” he coos down at your words and plants another kiss on your forehead, “I know sweetie, ‘m gonna be home in a few hours, yeah? Then I’ll be all yours,”
“But I need you, now.” you pout, hands coming up to rest on his pecs, fingers sliding under the collar of his shirt to play with his blond chest hairs, and you bite back a smile at the tiniest shiver he gives. “Sweetheart..” before he can say anything else you’re clutching his hand and pulling him with you, pushing him back to sit on his office chair again, and he’s looking up at you, bewildered.
Then you’re trailing a hand from your thigh up to your belly, only you’re slowly lifting your dress as you go. His jaw goes slack once his eyes are met with your bare, glistening pussy, his neck turning red. You whimper, circling your hips around nothing, dropping your other hand to rub two fingers aaall over your folds, gathering up your slick on your fingers. “See? Told you I need you,”
And Yagi can't complain when you push your wet fingers in his mouth, his moan getting muffled as he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his already hard cock twitching at the sight of you, all pretty and ready for him<3
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2023 © l13 | Do not steal, copy, edit, translate or re-post any of my works.
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miguelhugger2099 · 10 months ago
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Best Friend's Brother
Summary: You have a falling out with your best friend. Trying to avoid an awkward interaction, you bump into his brother instead. Miguel x Reader, Suggestive, Word Count: 1,925 a/n: i woke up from a nap, saw a tiktok and was inspired so i made this half asleep. excuse any mistakes
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Your friend practically dragged you to this party even when you said you didn't want to.
You had recently gone through a messy falling out with your high school best friend, Gabriel O'Hara. It left you angry and heartbroken since he was the closest person you've shared yourself with.
He accused you of not paying enough attention to him–that you were leaving him in the dust like everyone since you've been away at college.
You defended yourself that it wasn't like that but he just couldn't see it. It ended up as an arguing match over the phone–Gabriel telling you not to see him ever again in a fit of anger, which hurt a lot after it sunk in.
When you had come home over summer break, you other friend who had stayed invited you over to a block party someone was holding. It was on the same street Gabriel lived on so you denied profusely.
She assured you that you wouldn't see him. You wouldn't bump into him since apparently there'd be a bunch of people on the block and she'd be with you the entire time.
That's what she promised. Until she got so wasted she talked and danced with other people. 
You glare at your friend, cup held tightly in your hand. You took a swig of the alcohol, the bitter taste of it burning your throat. It tasted like pure shit but it was all these guys could muster up that wasn't a BuzzBall. Maybe a BuzzBall would've been better.
You were sure not to drink too much, too focused on making sure you didn't have an awkward conversation in the middle of your hometown. You held your stomach as you felt the need to pee.
You groaned under your breath, the buzz of the cheap alcohol thumping in your brain. If you didn't pee now, you'd surely burst any moment. You looked around to see if you could ask someone who lived here to let you in their bathroom. You'd rather die than use a bush of porta-potty.
Luckily, you saw some people leave and enter a house freely. Deciding this was your chance, you hurried your numbing legs across the lawns to slip past inside the house. 
Inside were various people, ranging from grabbing more drinks and food. You asked where the bathroom was, some kind stranger giving you directions that you were still kinda sober enough to process.
You lock the door behind you and collapse on the toilet after pulling your shorts down. After flushing and washing your hands, you decided to just take a breather on the toilet seat. You groaned as you rubbed your temples, annoyed that you're here, and annoyed that you can't even have fun with the fear of meeting your ex best friend. 
Once you felt a little better, you stood up and grabbed your cup again, ready to throw it out and drink a gallon of water at this point.
You glared at the inside of the cup as you stepped out, not realizing someone was coming from the side. You turned and you both made contact, the cup squishing between you two and spilling all over the stranger.
“Shit!” You yelped and you heard the stranger let out a surprised grunt. You look up and with your hazy vision you murmur. “Gabri?”
“Guess again.” He said. Your eyes focused and realized this person had similar features to Gabriel, just slightly older. It was his older brother, Miguel.
Miguel looked down at his soiled shirt, patting it down and lifting it to dry it off. Some droplets of your drink went into his hair, making it give off a bit of sparkle in the light.
His eyes met yours and you flinched. Does he know?
He said your name hesitantly. “Is that you?” The corner of his lips quirking up.
“Yeah. Yeah, it's me.” Fuck. “Sorry. I'm so sorry, I just spilled everything on you.” In a drunk haze you reach out to help him in some way but he stops you.
“It's fine.” He chuckles and looks at your behavior, the slight sway in your stance and blinking to focus. “You alright?” He asks, taking your arm gently.
“Fine,” You choke out. “Just needed some water.” Miguel tilts his head down at you and nods.
“Here. Let me help you.” He turns you in the other direction, presumably to the kitchen. His hand on your lower back and you have to fight the shiver from the warm contact.
In the kitchen, you lift yourself on the counter by the sink while Miguel rummages through the fridge, a few cold water bottles stacked inside. He grabs one and uncaps it for you then hands it over to you. You take it from him, your fingers brushing against each other. 
You cross your legs, your senses being heightened from the alcohol–is what you told yourself.
Miguel grabs a paper towel and wets it before dabbing it on his shirt, hoping to get the stickiness of it out. You sip from your bottle as he does so.
“Sorry…” You mumble again and Miguel laughs softly.
“Really, it's okay. Couldn't ask for a better way to see you after so long.” He glances at you.
“We never really talked.” You fiddled with the water cap.
“But I used to see you all the time around the house. Now you just disappeared from thin air, thanks to Gabri.” He grabs another paper towel to dry himself off.
You wince. “You know?” 
Miguel nods. “Yeah. Wasn't hard to tell. All he did was talk about you so when he stopped I figured something happened.” He shrugs, seemingly unbothered.
You felt a pang in your heart. Gabriel was always so sweet, was always your number one supporter and you did the same. You wondered why he felt so insecure this time around.
“Did he tell you why?” You ask, feeling the coldness of the water helling you sober up.
Miguel tosses the used paper towels in the trash. “Probably the same thing as everything. Feels like he's being abandoned, so he abandons people first.”
You look at him with furrowed brows. “That's it?”
Miguel nods and leans on the counter so he faces you. “Yeah. I mean makes sense. It's why he didn’t let us talk and it's why you stayed best friends for so long until you left.” He spins the rings on his fingers around.
“Didn't let us talk?” You scoffed. “Gabriel told me you were never home.”
Miguel laughs. “‘Cause he told me to. Went on some jealous rampage that I'd convince you to leave him.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “He told me every friend he made always left him for you.”
“He had shit friends that for some reason dropped him. Always when that happened, I'd want nothing to do with them but Gabriel believed I did it on purpose.” Miguel frowns.
You turn back to the ground where your leg swung softly. “He made you out to be such an asshole.”
He hums, his eyes staring at you while you begin to think. He gazes up and down your body, the skin of your legs showing and lightly sheer the crop top that made him lick his lips. He couldn't help himself any longer.
“Maybe it's the alcohol making me honest but I really started to like you before you up and left.” Miguel admits, standing up to face in front of you, fitting himself between your legs. He places his hands on your thighs and you stiffen, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“What? Is this some sort of joke?”
Miguel chuckles, his fangs showing that makes you weak. “No jokes here, baby.” The pet name rolls off his tongue easily which sends your heart pounding.  His fingers reach up to the belt loops on your shorts, curling around them. “I didn't get to see you much because of my brother. And I meant what I said–about his friends being assholes and how I never meant to hurt him, but with you,” He tugs on your belt loops and forces you to lose your balance so your hands could hold onto his arms. He buries his face in your neck and leaves a small kiss.
“I would've wanted to steal you.” His warm breath pants on your skin. His hands let go of your belt loops to rest on your hips. You have no idea which is worse–or better.
Miguel feels your blood pumping through your veins under his lips and smirks.
Your mind spun with how close he was and what words he was spilling.
“Where's Gabriel?” You ask in a whisper.
“Not anywhere that matters right now.” 
“Of course, it matters!” You squeal in a high pitched whisper. “I'm not about to fuck my best friends older brother.”
“Ex best friend and I never said we were fucking. Unless you want to, I'm down.” He nibbles on your neck and you whine.
You struggle with the need between your legs and your mind fighting between your personal morals versus personal desire. For the few times you've seen Miguel while you were still friends with Gabriel, you've noticed he was hot. It wasn't often but you'd enjoy the days where he came home from the gym, tank top drenched in sweat and headband pushing his fringe back while he took gulps from his tumbler.
Gabriel would snap you out of your stupor with a call of your name and you never noticed the small smirk when Miguel saw the small flustered look on your face.
Miguel feels your heart pounding and the stiff way you hold his shoulders. His smirk drops and he lifts his head from your neck to look at you.
“I'm just teasing. If you don't want anything, we don't have to. Do you have a ride? I could take you home.” Miguel murmurs gently, letting go and slipping his hands off your body.
You stop him from leaving, his eyes widening when you place his hands back to your hips.“No, no. I want…I want to.” You breathe out.
Miguel smirks again. “Yeah?” He hums, his hands feeling the curve of your hips and squeezes your thighs in his palms.
“Mhm.” You nod, letting yourself succumb to whatever is about to happen.
“How badly do you want it?” He asks. Your arms rest loosely around his neck, lips brushing against one another. 
“Miguel…” You whine, not wanting to play this game. Miguel's heart skips a beat, cock twitching in his pants at how cute you look and sound whining for him.
“Contéstame, nena.” He pressed a teasing kiss to the corner of your lips. You lock your legs around his waist and his hands go under your shirt, feeling up your torso and up your back to tug on your bra strap.
“Fuck–badly, Miguel.” You groan. Miguel shutters out a sigh, collecting you in his arms and hurrying back to the bathroom in a poor attempt at gaining privacy for you two. 
He sets you down on the sink counter and locks the door, his lips immediately finding yours. You let out a weak moan and curl your fingers in his hair while he slides your bra up to cup your breast underneath your shirt.
Were really about to do this? Fucking your ex best friends older brother that was convinced would steal you from him– and that he's technically right?
He's not here so maybe a little bit of the forbidden fruit wouldn't hurt…
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a/n: imagine gabriel finding out hahahah.... 😐 
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lvmoure · 26 days ago
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Jump Then Fall CS55
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Pairings: Carlos Sainz x childhoodbff!reader
Summary: In which you loved him the moment you turned 7 years old. In which she fell first but he fell harder.
Warnings: none, pure fluff
Part 2 Part 3
You were only seven when it hit you for the first time: a fluttery feeling, soft and strange, but warm like a summer breeze. The source of this unexpected feeling was none other than Carlos Sainz, your best friend since you could remember. He was the boy who sat next to you in class, the one who chased you around the playground, and the one who always let you have the last cookie at lunch.
It was a sunny afternoon, the kind where the sunlight spilled across the playground in warm, lazy beams, illuminating everything in a golden hue. You and Carlos were at your favorite spot by the swings, taking turns seeing who could go the highest. Carlos grinned at you, his cheeks flushed from the thrill of the game, his laughter bright and unrestrained. You felt your heart race, pounding in a way that seemed strange and exciting all at once.
"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Carlos called out, waving his hand in front of your face. He was laughing, his eyes squinting with joy as the wind tossed his dark hair in every direction.
You snapped out of your thoughts, cheeks heating up as you stammered, "Of course I am! You were saying… uh, something about soccer?"
Carlos groaned, rolling his eyes dramatically. "I was talking about how we should form a team, and I was going to ask you to be my teammate. But now I'm not so sure, since you're off in dreamland!"
You felt your face warm even more, but you managed to laugh. "Fine, I'll be your teammate, but only if you promise to pass the ball sometimes!"
He laughed, pretending to consider your terms. "Deal," he said, reaching out his pinky. You linked yours with his, feeling a spark—a small, inexplicable jolt that made you freeze for just a second. But Carlos didn't seem to notice; he was already excitedly planning your imaginary soccer team's strategy.
As the two of you chattered away, you realized how much you loved moments like this. Little did you know, these small, simple moments would be the foundation of a love that would grow with you, one that would shape your every feeling for years to come.
Years passed, and the innocent feelings you had as a child grew complicated, layered with insecurities and fear of change. By the time you reached high school, Carlos was no longer just "that boy next to you." He had grown into someone everyone noticed, with his easy charm, his passion for sports, and the same unfiltered laugh that always made you feel like the only person in the room. It wasn't just the small things that made you realize you were in love with him; it was everything about him, the way he treated people, the way he never held back.
You watched him from across the cafeteria, trying not to be obvious. Carlos was surrounded by his friends, laughing and animated, and you could see why everyone liked him so much. But you kept your feelings locked away, never daring to say a word. You were terrified of what would happen if he knew—terrified of losing him, of the awkwardness that might come with a confession.
"Are you staring at Carlos again?" your friend teased, nudging you playfully.
You jolted, quickly looking down at your food, cheeks flaming. "No, I was… I was just lost in thought."
"Yeah, sure," she said with a smirk. "You've got it bad, and you know it."
You groaned, hiding your face. "I can’t tell him. It’d ruin everything."
"He’d probably be flattered," she said gently. "But I get it. Some things are scarier when it comes to best friends."
A part of you wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, he might feel the same way. But you couldn't risk it. So you kept quiet, holding your feelings close and letting them simmer in silence. There were moments when he looked at you, really looked, and you'd find yourself wondering if he could see the way you felt. But every time, he'd just flash you a grin or make a joke, and you’d brush it off, convincing yourself that he couldn’t possibly feel the same.
You told yourself that being close to him as his friend was enough, even if it hurt sometimes to keep the truth hidden.
The day he introduced his girlfriend to you, it felt like the world was crashing down around you. You plastered on a smile, trying to ignore the way your heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces.
"Hey, this is Isabela," Carlos said with a bright smile, his arm slung casually around her shoulders. "Isn't she amazing?"
You forced a laugh, pushing down the wave of jealousy and sadness that threatened to spill out. "Yeah, she seems great," you managed, feeling like every word you spoke was a lie.
Isabela was everything you weren’t—confident, beautiful, and effortlessly charming. She seemed to know Carlos in ways that you didn’t, ways that you wished you could. You watched them together, the way he looked at her, and it tore you apart. But you stayed by his side, putting on a brave face and pretending that you were fine.
"Are you okay?" Carlos asked one day, noticing the sadness in your eyes.
You forced a smile. "Of course, I’m just tired."
He gave you a long, searching look, as if he could see through your mask. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
But you couldn’t tell him this, not now. So you just nodded, hoping he’d never find out how deeply you were hurting.
Years passed, and one day, Carlos showed up at your door, his face pale and eyes rimmed red. Before he could even speak, you wrapped him in a hug, sensing the heartbreak he was carrying. Isabella had broken up with him, and he was devastated.
"I thought we had something real," he said, his voice breaking. "But she said she couldn’t handle it."
You held him close, soothing him with gentle words, even as your heart ached at the sight of his pain. Part of you felt relief—relief that he was no longer with her, that there might be a chance for you. But mostly, you just wanted to be there for him, to be the shoulder he could lean on.
"I’m here for you," you whispered, your hand running comfortingly over his back. "You’re going to get through this, Carlos. I promise."
He looked at you then, and for a moment, something seemed to shift in his gaze. But he was hurting too much to notice it, and you were too afraid to hope.
Months after the breakup, Carlos found himself looking at you in a way he hadn’t before. It was small things—like the way you laughed at his jokes, the way you always knew when he needed comfort, or the way you were just there, unwavering in your support. He began to realize that maybe, all this time, the person he was looking for had been right beside him.
He wanted to tell you. Wanted to confess that he felt something he couldn’t quite explain, something warm and soft that made his heart beat a little faster. But he held back, afraid that maybe he’d missed his chance, that his feelings would only complicate things.
For now, he decided, he’d admire you from afar, letting his feelings settle and hoping that one day, he’d find the courage to tell you.
Because love, he realized, was worth waiting for.
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covetyou · 1 year ago
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first steps
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ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist part one ⋆ part two ⋆ part three
pairing: cuck!Joel x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: cuckolding, daddy kink, unprotected PIV, creampie, cuddle!fucking!, kinda premature ejaculation, praise kink, pet names, reader gets a brief foot rub, mention of male OC, ddlg vibes, established relationship. word count: 3.6k summary: You can't get thoughts of him out of your head, and Joel does nothing (or everything?) to help matters.
A/N: this takes place at the start of cuck!Joel's adventures in being cucked. they're on a journey of self discovery here folks. I daresay this is almost sweet and soft. look at me go. I'm growing as a person. follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future work
You're in bed already; teeth brushed, washed up, and those god forsaken shoes off of your aching feet, waiting for Joel and his promised foot rub. It had been a long day, and an even longer evening, made longer still by the ache cramping your toes.
You huff to yourself - patience not being your strong suit when it came to Joel - and throw yourself back into the pillows. You were quite happily getting handsy downstairs, palming his erection through his dress pants when his phone had rang. At 11pm on a Friday. You'd rolled your eyes at him, pulling away as he swatted at your ass. It was a work call he said. He had to take it.
"I'll be up as soon as I can, baby," he called after you, and you had stuck out your tongue at him before disappearing up the stairs, shoes in hand.
It was okay, you figured. You'd spent the best part of the night mildly tormented. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt. From the moment you'd got to Joel's house that evening, he'd been touching you, whispering praise, telling you how beautiful you looked and how he wanted to just take you right there and then but sorry baby, we gotta get goin'. That hadn't stopped him sliding a hand up your thigh and dancing his fingertips across the front of your panties for the entire ride to the venue. By the time you got there, you were dripping and ready to come, but he had simply extracted his hand and got out of the car, leaving you hot and bothered and alone in the passenger seat.
And it hadn't got much better from there. Joel was making his way around the room, introducing you with a look in his eye that made you weak at the knees. You'd never known someone to be so proud to know you, so keen to show you off, before you'd met Joel. His hand would slide protectively up your back, drawing goosebumps across your flesh, or lightly ghost over your ass, whispering promises of later in your ear. He pressed endless kisses to your temple, and more than once you had to fight the supernova in your chest from exploding outward, flinging yourself at him with the force of it, and begging him to take you home as you wept into his mouth.
But then he'd introduced you to him. A contractor who he'd picked up on their latest job. He was shorter than Joel, and well dressed with dark hair and pristine shoes. You remember the shoes well - you'd focused on them for a long time, unable to keep looking at his face for fear of the heat that would spread to yours.
"This is my girl. Told you about her," Joel introduced you, shouting loud over the noise booming from the speakers. He kissed you on the side of the face then, watching you like a hawk as you looked up and smiled sweetly at the beautiful man before you - Andrew, from what you heard Joel say over the music - and choked out a small hello.
Joel took that moment to excuse himself.
"Gonna go get our friend here another drink."
You turned to kissed him square on the mouth before he could stride off, leaving you alone with Andrew, nipples puckering almost painfully beneath the thin material of your dress.
Small talk had been awkward all evening, mostly because you hadn't really wanted to be there, but with Andrew it was anything but. He spoke to you like it was the easiest thing in the world, laughing and joking together like you'd known each other for longer than a few minutes. You were transfixed, talking animatedly as you rested a hand on his arm, making a comment that made him laugh, a deep contagious thing that made your core drip with want. All the while, dark eyes from across a room stare at you, and you don't realize for a second that it's taken much longer than a few minutes to grab a drink.
Joel had known, you were sure of it. Maybe it was your wide eyes, or your shuffling feet played off as just the ache in your toes, but talking to Andrew did something to you, and Joel knew. Finding out he was here alone and would be going home to an empty apartment too was more of a thrill than it should have been. Not that you would be. You'd be going home with Joel, but that made the thought of him all the sweeter.
It's a thought that still lingers with you as you lie here in Joel's bed hours later. You sigh, trailing your fingertips softly up your body, willing Joel to hurry up and finish his phonecall so he can relieve the ache from more than just your feet.
And that's just how he finds you a few minutes later. Caressing your own soft flesh beneath crisp sheets, caught in a fantasy of a shapeshifting man.
"Sorry baby, was Tommy. Security called him in for a late delivery, ruined his date." You open your eyes, not realizing you'd even closed them, and look up at him with a soft smile. The shapeshift man is clear as day now, no longer shifting between the men that could be, but staying firmly as one that is right in front of you. Fuck, do you want him.
His back is to you tugging his shirt from his arms, revealing broad shoulders and his soft belly as he turns. He spots your hands moving beneath the sheets you'd tucked yourself into, unable to keep them still even now that he's here.
"Gettin' started without me?" he asks, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
"You were taking too long," you say, dragging your fingertips across the swell of your breasts and up your neck into a lazy stretch.
Reaching for your outstretched leg, he pulls your foot from its confines, making you yelp and giggle as he tugs you down the bed. He did promise you a foot rub. Strong thumbs push into your arch, rubbing there, making your foot flex, the ache in your sole abating just a little with each slow rotation. You groan, lost in the relief his hands bring, before he's switching to the other foot and doing the same all over again.
You're Jell-o by the time he's finished, kissing all over your calves, knees, thighs, as he crawls up your body.
He nuzzles into the soft front of your panties, still damp or newly damp, you're not quite sure, and breathes you in. He mouths at you over the thin fabric, and you're so desperate for more friction on your clit after hours of waiting that you wiggle, trying to grind yourself against his face.
"I know what you want when you get all wiggly, baby," he says, a knowing smile pulling at his lips. He tickles his fingers across your damp crotch, making you wiggle even more. "You want your daddy, don't you?"
"Yes, Daddy," you say eagerly, reaching down to scratch at the scruff on his face, trying to tug him up to you for a kiss. "I've been a good girl."
He presses a long kiss to your palm, nudging your hand away with his head so he can burrow his face into your mound again. "Mm. You have. Know you didn't wanna stay that long, but you did so good for me." It comes out as nothing more than a mumble, the deep vibrations of his voice shooting straight to your pussy.
The truth was you hadn't expected to like anything about this evening that didn't involve Joel. But you had, and that had made sticking around far more tolerable than it should have been, even with the consistent trickle of want through your core.
"Think we should get these panties off o' you and see what mess we're dealing with. Been worked up all night, huh?" he asks, as if he hadn't been responsible for it.
He peels your underwear from you, tugging them down your legs and throwing them behind him without a care for where they land, before he spreads you open and takes a leisurely lick through your folds. He can never resist, the sight of you so worked up for him from so little always such a temptation. He licks again, looking up at you with a smirk as you melt further into his sheets. The slippery muscle of his tongue pushes into your slick hole and fucks you gently, tasting every drop of desire you'd had for him - and Andrew.
A final peck to your clit and he's groaning, shifting up the bed to slotting in beside you with a heavy sigh, curving his broader frame against yours. You find his mouth, needing to have him close to you in every way you can, and kiss him, holding his head in your hands as his own finds its way between your legs. Large fingers stroke delicately across your pussy. His own spit makes the soft drag of his fingers effortless as he finds your clit with practiced ease, and swipes gently at the swollen nub.
Your own hands roam, drifting from his face, slyly tracing down his body until you're tucking your fingers into his pants. Only, it's not sly at all, and he's holding back his amusement when he whispers into your mouth, unzipping his pants and pulling them down before settling beside you once more. "S'alright, I got you."
Your hand immediately flies to his cock, stroking across his smooth length, wasting no time in working him back up after it had softened since your antics downstairs. When he's stiffened in your palm, standing up and knocking rigidly against his belly when you let go, you trail your fingers down to his balls. You lightly squeeze, massaging them in your palm, rolling your thumb over the soft flesh.
He groans, closing his eyes as he grabs his own dick in his massive fist, long lashes tickling his cheek. "That's it, stroke Daddy's balls. Gotta get ready to go in that pretty pussy of yours baby."
You lightly drag your nails across his sack as his slowly jerks himself, stiffening further the more you play with him. You revel in the shaky breath your nails draw from him, nuzzling into his chest. The velvety scent of his cologne is faint now, but you breathe deep regardless - the smell of his bare skin and a subtle hint of his sweat was better than any bottled fragrance anyway.
He pulls his hand from between your legs to reach over to his bedside table, pulling out a bottle of lube. Both of you know you're slick enough to take him without it, but the slip of his lubed up dick gliding so easily in and out of you without stretching you with his fingers first was too much to resist.
A sound you love to hear, a soft gasp, leaves his lips when he drizzles some of the cold liquid onto the head his engorged cock, letting you spread it over him with your own fist before nudging you onto your side, forcing you to release your grip.
He is everywhere, surrounding you in every sense. A broad arm tucks under your waist, hugging you tight to his chest with a palm pressed flat between your breasts. His lips are on your cheek, tracing wet biting kisses down your neck. You turn to moan into his pillow just as his other hand snakes its way back between your thighs, pushing the plush flesh aside to rub broad circles over your soaked pussy.
"Gonna take me in now baby, open up for me." Arching your back, you expose your cunt to him from behind as his length ruts against you, lube spreading across your thighs. He fucks between the meat of them, grazing your pussy and nudging into your clit and his own palm with each thrust.
"Don't tease, Daddy," you whine, already so far gone you're ready to plead with him to just fuck you already.
"No teasin' baby, you've been so good for me. Gonna give it straight to you. Here it comes," and he feeds the tip of his cock into you, gently fucking you with his thick head. You push your hips back, slipping more of him into your wet heat, delighting in the feeling the stretch in your cunt and his ragged breath on the back of your neck. Slick dribbles out of you, coating him as he pushes in to the hilt.
"Ohhh, f- mm."
He holds you tighter when you moan, his front flush with your back. You're totally cocooned in his arms as he begins sliding his cock in and out of you with minute thrusts of his hips.
Being cuddled and fucked like this was your favorite. His hands could roam freely, stroking your belly, tugging at your nipples, sticking a finger in your mouth for you to suck on, all whilst his hips gently rocked into you, your pussy coating him, dripping wet slick all over him and making a mess between the two of you the longer it went on. And it could go on. Sometimes he would make you lie here for what felt like hours, talking and watching a movie as he painfully slowly fucked you, keeping himself hard for so long you feared it'd do damage. When he eventually came, it'd be an easy thing, a few quicker thrusts pulling him over the edge and spilling his cum inside you, painting you, filling you so full it'd leak out of you where he had you plugged. You loved those days.
This was not one of those days.
He starts snapping his hips quicker, thrusts still shallow as his fingers start to rub deliberate circles over your clit once again. Remembering your manners you stutter out a quick thank you Daddy when his fingers pick up the pace.
"Can't get enough of your daddy's cock, can you? It's all you want."
You make a noise, somewhere between a groan and a negative. After today you couldn't say it was. You'd seen the way he had looked at you, and the way that Joel had looked at you because of it. Whatever that was, you wanted it, and you were pretty sure Joel did too.
"No? You want other dicks in this pussy?"
Biting into the pillow, you nod, stifling another whine. You'd almost be ashamed that you'd been so obvious with it, flirting too brazenly in front of too many people, but you're too far gone to care.
"Fuck yeah, you do. My baby wants to be filled with so many cocks, don't she? Have 'em fuck you and then you come crawling back to me to kiss it better."
And that's it, that's the thing that sends you over.
"Oh fu-Daddy, D-Daddy, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come."
His cock slips further into you, stretching you out and dragging against every part of you as his fingers pull an orgasm from your twitching clit.
"That's it. You come thinking about all those cocks that are going to ruin this pretty little hole."
You do. The arms wrapped around you are Joel's, but you imagine the cock buried in you is anyone but. Faceless strangers, acquaintances, colleagues. You want it so badly that when your orgasm finally wanes, you let out a feeble sob, burying your face into the pillow once more.
He holds you tightly to him, grinding into you slow and deep, your pussy sloshing wetly around him with your release.
"It's okay," he coos as you shudder, crowding over you now to nuzzle into your cheek. "Don't hide from me. You're allowed to have a greedy little pussy baby. Daddy doesn't mind."
He cradles you to him, letting his cock rest inside of you as he strokes you all over, coaxing you down from your orgasm. When you come to, unfurling from the ball you'd tucked yourself into, dried streaks from a few unnoticed errant tears on your face, he starts to rock again, peppering your face with kisses. You let out a small laugh, feeling silly now that his words, those words, could make you come that quickly and that hard. But then he blindsides you with an offer you weren't expecting.
"How 'bout we find you someone to play with when Daddy's not around?"
You'd almost approached it before, the two of you dancing around the idea of there being someone else, another body, shared with you or taken separately. Joel had joked about other men fucking you, watching you suck their cocks, but you never knew if he was serious.
"How 'bout Andrew, huh? Bet you'd like his mouth here," he touches your neck, trailing two rough fingers down your torso, stopping at your breasts to tease and pinch your nipples. "And here."
His hands move lower and you close your eyes, imagining Andrew's mouth. You can practically fucking feel it - whisps of well groomed facial hair scratching at your delicate skin. Andrew had been so handsome - suave, funny, interested. You'd noticed how his eyes had been drawn to you, subtle flicks down your body, taking you in, as he tried to maintain an air of politeness, of respect for his boss and his girl. You wish he respected Joel a little less.
Joel's fingers finally meet your clit and you moan. "Here too."
"I'm- f- I'm so close again daddy," you whine, not ready for another one so soon.
"You gonna come on your daddy's cock thinkin' about Andrew filling you up?" You nod frantically, unable to hold back anything any more as your cunt pulses around his stiff length. "You are? Oh fuck, you are."
He's cuddling you again, holding you tight as he snaps his hips into yours. He's breathless when he next speaks to you, whispering filth into your ear.
"You'd look so pretty creamin' around his cock baby, just like you do for Daddy." The moan that leaves your mouth is something next to a cry, ready to sob at the idea of how good it'd feel to have Andrew touch you, to come back and tell Joel all about it, to snuggle into his arms, safe and warm and used.
You're lost in the daydream as Joel fucks you, talking you through it, pulling you deeper into the fantasy. You can't stop it any more, your entire body convulsing as you come yet again, the imagined flick of Andrew's tongue on your over sensitive clit being the thing that finally sends you flying.
"Uhh-A-Andrew."
"Fuck yeah that's it, say his name."
"Andrew, f-yes. Please, Andrew, please."
Joel tenses behind you, gripping you harder around the middle as he can't hold back, barely moving his hips at all. The thought alone had pushed him so close to the edge he's tumbling over it without warning, spurting heavily into your dripping pussy, coating your walls with his cum. "Oh fuck, shit, fuck I'm coming, ohhh fuck."
He holds you tighter for a long while, his cock throbbing and heavy inside you, breathing deeply as his thumbs gently stroke over your skin, soothing you now that your second orgasm had abated.
"Mm, I'm sorry baby. Looks like Daddy made a mess of you quicker than he expected, huh? You're just such a good girl for me." You preen at his praise. Even now you were his good girl, and you loved how wanting another man to fuck you could make him lose control so easily. It's all a dream, it's got to be.
Your vision is still blurred when he turns your head to face him, brushing his nose softly against yours. "Just love how greedy your pussy is, baby. How much you want her filled up."
"I want it, Daddy," you whine pathetically into his mouth. "Want to be filled up." By Andrew.
You didn't need to say the silent part out loud for Joel to know what you wanted. After all, if you wanted something, it was a sure fire bet that Joel Miller already wanted it too.
"I can ask him. If that's what you want," he says it softly, almost a whisper as he caresses the side of your face. His softening cock slips from you, cum gushing out with the release of pressure, flooding your thighs with a wet mix of lube and Joel's cum and your own release as you think of him again.
Him. Joel would ask him for you - the fantasy could become a reality.
"Are you... are you okay with that?" You search his eyes, trying to find any trace of uncertainty there. There's none, just burning hot fire, a need, that courses straight from him into you and back again.
"Wouldn't be offerin' if I weren't, darlin'. Besides," he grins at you. "Good girls get to go on playdates."
"Joel!"
"What?!"
"A playdate? Really?"
"Well, if you don't want it.."
You hit him, hand slapping playfully against his chest and he's suddenly rolling on top of you, growling as he scratches his beard against your neck. It tickles, and your feeble attempts to fight him off are made even weaker by the laugh bubbling in your belly.
Your face hurts from smiling and holding back laughter when he pulls back from the onslaught on your neck. He's marked you, of that you're sure, and of another thing too.
"I want it."
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m1ssunderstanding · 1 month ago
Text
Midas Man Reaction
I watched this using a google drive version from @skydiamonded thank you, thank you!
Spoilers under the cut!!!
Weird looking at this guy and trying to tell myself he's Brian. He's a very Brian type of guy but still he's not Brian. 
I do love the first person narration and the instantly shattered fourth wall.
I love seeing his Jewish faith and culture in a way that wasn't publicly as prominent when he was alive. 
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Honestly didn't know adding a significant record store to their furniture store was Brian's idea. I'm looking every new thing I learn up because biopics can be very misleading, but this is fun!
I am absolutely Reveling in the contrast between crisp, classy Brian and the squalor of the cavern. So good! 
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Guys I'm a sucker for this stuff. John comes on stage swigging something talking in awful German and then there's Paul whoring it up flirting having a personal conversation with some girl in the crowd. And the John/Paul banter! I'm falling for it so hard. 
(John girls I will give it to you, you guys got shafted with the looks of this actor)
Same, Brian. I get it. I'd be in love with them too. 
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The incessant mocking of his posh accent Thank You!
Paul's face. I've definitely seen this irl. He loves watching John do his acerbic wit thing. Reminds me of that one quote that basically said Paul used John's cruelty to his own advantage. 
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The confidence of Brian just deciding to be a manager. The actor is doing such a good job of capturing that duality in Brian of part timid awkwardness part brazen optimism. 
The Spain dialogue! How can they tease that and not include the trip?!?! Also John dropping Hemingway and Brian's pleasant surprise. Just you wait, Brian. 
“My Gran takes pills for that” genuinely got me.
The way they look at each other is accurate even if John doesn't look a thing like himself
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“I think you're special. I think you'll go all the way. And I promise I will look after you.” Whether Brian said it that way out loud at the time or not it's what he felt. And that was so so important. They needed someone to say that and mean it so badly. Look how he's looking at them!
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“Like family. Only better. No secrets from each other.” Break my fucking heart not even twenty minutes in why don't you? Brian you deserved to live in the future. I'm so sorry you had to be put here in the time you were.
I will say the makeover breaks my heart. I get that it was necessary, but it hurts. 
Ringo's grey steak and his accent and his friendly tough older cousin demeanor!!!
You hear Paul singing as they drive up, fantastic. And the little shoulder pat as they go in, “alright Brian.” John's little line about the time jump is fun too. 
Pete's drumming is patently bad. Thank You!
The whole John railing on Brian and Paul telling him to leave off I think is probably accurate, but. With all the quotes I have in my documents about Paul actually being the one who gave Brian the most trouble, I have to wonder if we're going to see that complexity or if we're going to stick to the “mean John, nice Paul” stereotypes. 
But also Paul definitely does not stick up for Pete. (Who he also picked at much more than John irl) Anyway I love to see the strategic reigning in or letting loose of John's temper for me.
Again with the class contrasts!!! These fucking snobs talking down to Brian I can't. It's just another proof of the boys’ need for him and his management. And not just because he's socially higher than them, but can you see John handling that shit well? No. That ass hat would get decked. 
The pride with which he says “My boys” to those douchebags after all of that!!!
“Asked you and Daddy for a car” is a great line.
I got so scared when that guy came up so suddenly like that because I know how violent some of those encounters were. It breaks my heart for him. 
And then the pills. It got so cold so fast. 
Those secretaries should be in charge of those record companies is what I'm getting here. 
I knew he was going to lie and say that he got them the contract. I wonder if he did irl. Something else I'll have to look up but it does make sense with what I know of Brian. He just loves them so so much. “I can't bear their disappointment when they feel I've let them down.” 
The George actor overdoes the accent a bit but I really love the facial expressions. I've seen that one a million times. 
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Also love that John and Paul are facing each other. Very nice. 
No one is going to hold a candle to the actual Paul's voice but what are you going to do? 
They've got Paul's need for John's approval right though. John's already said all sorts of positive things and Paul's immediately fishing for more.
Yes! Paul is George Martin's very special favorite baby boy and it would be wrong to play it otherwise. 
I should've said this before but it's driving me crazy in this scene. Why is George's hair significantly lighter than John's? 
Interesting that it doesn't even show Brian talking to the others about sacking Pete. 
“It's my sound. They're all doing it now. Ringo.” What is this bullshit? Insinuating Ringo copied Pete's sound? Why did they put that in there? Ew, take it out!
Look at him, already so at ease and happy. I love you, Ringo! 
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See I knew it was going to get more violent. Ugh it twists my stomach. And his poor terrified face when the guy says he knows him. He was so scared of his secret life having a negative affect on the boys career. And then Brian telling us straight to our faces about being brutally beaten and helping the man afterwards. It's cutting. Such a contrast from the upbeat, prideful Brian of many of the other camera-facing narrations. 
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The sharp turnaround of Alastair overhearing the end of Brian's little aside here though! I love the way this movie is playing with perspective and curtains. Very much a nod to Brian's behind the scenes work on behalf of the biggest group in the history of the world. 
Love how the Beatles are annoyed that Brian doesn't offer any details about them when he's going through his lineup! Very clever, very them!
Cilla clearly knows Brian's gay and she's the first one that's made that clear. At least to me! Maybe the scene with the prellies and the Beatles teasing him about that was something. But she's the first where it's obvious she knows. And he's so moved that she's just casually okay with his sexuality.
Then we get him apologizing to his family right after. It's getting to the point where I'm like I don't know what there is to say. 
Paul being the class-conscious one. Very good, very good. 
John “might even swear” Brian “please don't” Paul “he won't” Okay I know where they're going with this it's obviously going to be the rattle your jewelry” line. But they're going with the stereotype here of Paul reigning John in when really he was backstage daring John to say it. 
Achhhh this does bug me. Okay I know I'm the most insufferable Paul girl and it's Brian's movie. But! John's little look to the side as he says that line is at Paul, not Brian. Because, like I said before, Paul had been egging him on, and he's like “see I'm doing it” 
The scene with Ed Sullivan in the burger joint is reminding me of the Elvis movie. And it's nice. If anyone else is reminded of that it'll be a stark contrast between Brian and the general or whatever his name is. 
So happy that he can connect with Nat in this way even though they're from completely different worlds in every way other than their Jewish backgrounds. 
Still overwhelmingly annoyed they took out the romance with John to invent this Tex character. For multiple reasons. It's just not the truth for one thing. For another, it's a less interesting story. Brian is less complicated. The romance is flatter. Not a fan. 
But. In one way it's nice that he gets to be in a less complicated real relationship. Unless this is going to be like the Tex from the comic book which doesn't end well at all :/. What am I saying of course it can't end well. Ugh. 
Ringo’s tummy troubles! Ringo calling John a posh puddin! Thank Fuck!
It is very much driving home the fact that they're a rare bright spot in his life. 
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John starting the pillow fight all agro and then instantly backing off “now lads take it easy” we love the accuracy!
Oh. Colonel. I knew that. 
Another thing I'm going to have to look up. Did they really have to stop the show twice due to a jelly bean barrage? Actually so many fun details in this little narration. A fish truck? Really? You couldn't have chosen any other vessel? hashtag acab. 
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“I” made it clear? They're saying it's Brian's decision they won't perform to segregated audiences? Mkay. He's fantastic enough with his actual progressive actions and ideals. You can give the boys some credit for their own actions without losing anything for Brian. 
Brian screaming with all the girls. Cute! I do just have to say this is a George Martin story. But I'm sure Brian did it at some point too.
That stings! Going from all this huge success Brian of Brian's to his dad looking proud, making a toast, and I assumed it must be a party in Brian's honor but no. It's his brother's wedding. 
Wait I'm confused now. Does Cilla not know? 
I do love that she's concerned for him and expressing that. Because we know the boys aren't going to do that. 
Poor baby he's absolutely elated that Tex is here.
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I don't want to shame like I have read that Brian liked it rough although who knows if the writers of these statements are homophobes leaning into stereotypes of the time anyway there's obviously nothing wrong with rough sex. But I want Tex to be sweet and gentle with him because it looks like Brian is flinching and why wouldn't he be after what he's been through?
Also I hate that he's like “how can I get him to love me and stay with me etc” and he says he'll make him a star even though obviously he can't promise that and he's so so stretched thin already. 
Yep I hate Tex more and more. The yelling is awful holy shit.
Clearly Brian is only happy when he's with the Beatles. 
So this is them trying to put a little “vibe” between John and Brian? Having them have a "deep looking" discussion from a safe distance at a crowded party? Not really working imo.
But this is nice. I've seen this picture before. Look at cute cuddly Ringo. I adore that about him. For the one of them with the toughest background to be the most comfortable and easy with his affection. It's beautiful. 
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What the fuck!!! Tex is openly just chatting up someone else at Brian's party and Brian sees him as he's bringing them drinks and just retreats like that's what he deserves. Somebody give this sweet man some actual love!
The stark contrast between the silly, upbeat -- hectic yes -- but happy 64 tour narration and this. It's almost black and white it's so dim and muted and though the music is slow, Brian is talking very very fast and the drinks and pills are much faster than last time too. 
Again. Interesting that it's presented as Brian who declined Marcos in the Philippines. “They grab the boys and they drag them away.” I've never heard an account say it was that bad, but maybe it was? I don't know, I think if it was, John and George would've said so at some point post break-up. 
This is very interesting cinematic work. I don't know shit about anything but it strikes me as a very interesting choice to make this terrible time gradually fade into extremely sharp colorless chaos. The cute little maps and cut aways to contextualizing scenery are gone and it’s just Brian panicking backed by silhouetted violence.
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And then he forces himself to get it together, talks slower, straightens himself out, presumably because he does what he has to do to protect the boys. 
“Right. Are you coming in?” “Do you think that I would let you out of my sight, John?” It's so good. I hope this is what it was. 
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Paul's protective press conference answer comes off a bit more "team player" than "angry boyfriend" for one reason. IRL he jumps in, on this occasion and many others, without being addressed at all. Here, they ask specifically for a comment from the other three and George's comment comes first. Annoying. But overall t's very well done. And Brian is so proud of them all for being so strong in the face of all this stupidity. 
I love that Brian is protective of them and supportive of their decision to stop touring. I wonder how much of a say they actually gave him in that. 
“The press misquotes them, they can't be themselves, and if you can't be yourself . . .” He's so sweet. This takes me back to the family without secrets thing at the beginning. It's all so “well I know how awful this or that can be so I'm going to spare them from that” 
I didn't know creme or the who were involved with Brian too. Another thing to look up! 
Thank goodness for Nat Weiss. If only he and Brian could've been together. 
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I know it's not fair to expect too much of them with everything they were going through but I kind of hate all four Beatles right now. Brian crying about Paul not coming to a party and Paul's letter (well- meant that man had a very fucked up perspective on love and other complexities himself) about Brian just choosing not to be depressed is echoing in my head. 
Yes, Brian's shit father. There was something you didn't give your son. Only the most important thing there is. 
Eek they look so shockingly different. I wonder if it was that jarring for him. Why is it John that doesn't have the mustache? It was just Paul that had it, then the other three immediately followed, then just Paul that shaved it. Who knows what they're thinking here. Probably just didn't think about it, or maybe the John actor was just too hideous with a mustache?
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“And I have a proposal.” “Brian, I do.” “Finally!” See, that dialogue could've worked so much better if they'd been truthful about the sexual side to John and Brian's relationship. 
“I think I'll be leaving the band now,” says George, at the mention of a film. I'm dead. 
Why is Ringo wearing tons of blush and eyeshadow? 
This little moment is great though just because it's John and Paul interested and participating in the direction of the band and George and Ringo along for the ride. 
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The Paul actor did such a great job. His little giggle at John's dad joke is perfect. That's exactly what Paul sounds like.  
Why are they leaning so hard into George being the funny one in this movie? This whole movie it's him with the little quips. The phone thing is very Paul's humor though. Good, good. God I'm so annoyingly obsessed with him. 
It's very much leaning into the argument that Brian's death was accidental. I like to think that's the truth and there's certainly a strong case. The big plans with the Beatles and outside them too. The fact that his mother very much needed him after his father's death and he's got plans to take care of her. But there are also sources that say he was actually hospitalized due to suicide attempts. So. I don't know. 
Now we do the Buddhist bit. Arms around. That's something very different. But this makes me think of that quote, and I hope they did this too and I hope they included Brian.
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John's just so tiny lmao I'm actually obsessed!
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I love that the last line was about Brian saying he was “on top of the world”. 
You know what, I think we can choose to believe what we want about Brian’s death, and until someone presents me with empirical untenable objective evidence, I’m choosing to believe it was accidental. Doesn’t mean it’s not absolutely tragic. Doesn’t mean he didn’t have serious mental health problems. But it does mean he wanted to stick around despite all the hardships in his life for the good he was able to do and the joy he took in doing it.
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dnpbeats · 9 months ago
Note
drop the dan loving goblin phil essay rn
(in reference to my tag on this post)
OKAY SO! In BIG dan says this about phil: "And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. [...] Especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self-hatred that I have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference" (ty @goldenpinof for the transcript 🕺). Now obviously, this is in the context of dan being gay so for the most part he's referencing his sexuality here when he talks about being accepted, and I am not trying to undermine that at all. But I think that phil's acceptance of dan went deeper than just his sexuality (goblin Phil comes into this I promise lol).
dan also talks a bit in BIG about how he was nerdy and was bullied for that before he was bullied for being gay. He's also mentioned other times how being nerdy/geeky didn't use to be accepted. In the 4/13 stereo show, dan says: "Before YouTube, if you were a nerd, you felt like you weren't a valid member of society unless you were, like, captain of the football team or whatever. [...] Now, thanks to social media, it's like 'oh, okay, well if someone like Hank Green can exist, I'm fine.'" What's extra interesting about this example specifically is that dan is talking about representation in response to a fan prompting him to talk about queer representation in media. So like, yes the majority of dan's struggles in accepting himself were surrounding his sexuality, but I do also think there was a layer of being a nerdy kid at a time when it wasn't cool or fun that added onto him not accepting himself. And I do not think that that's completely separate from his nonacceptance of his sexuality.
So, what exactly does this have to do with dan expecting phil to be super debonair and then having those expectations shattered? But then still wanting phil, arguably even more than he did before? Well, I think that phil was (and is) unapologetically himself, and that was inspiring for dan to see. dan said in BIG that he didn't meet an out gay person until he was 18, so either that person was phil himself or he met phil shortly afterwards and phil was therefore one of the first out gay people dan knew. and we know from phil's coming out video that he wasn't ashamed of his sexuality at that time. but phil's acceptance of himself goes beyond his sexuality, like just look at his YouTube content at the time. he was doing experimental stuff that was weird as shit (I don't mean that in a bad way I like his old vids!). most people probably would not have the confidence or self-assurance to make the stuff he was making, let alone post it. and then, beyond that, he was just a nerdy guy himself! but it was something that he openly talked about online and we know he and dan bonded over video games/tv shows/etc.
And now let's think about this from dan's perspective. He's been watching this guy's videos forever. He's been talking to him online for the past couple of months, and while he was talking with phil (rather than "amazingphil"), I'm sure there was still that element of like "wow holy shit I can't believe I'm talking with amazingphil!" Hence why dan says in the mean girls video that he was expecting phil to be all "hi, I'm amazingphil! 😏" when they first met (also side note, when dan starts to make this joke phil starts doing it at the same time, so I'm sure this is a discussion they've had before lol). but Phil wasn't like that!!! he was all hunched over and awkward and dorky! because he was nervous!! BUT he wasn't ashamed of that. he wasn't trying to put on some AmazingPhil™ Smooth Operator Refined front. He was just himself. Unapologetically so. And for dan, I think that that meant so much in terms of accepting himself, but also feeling accepted. because how was he going to believe phil when he said "dan I love you for who you are" if phil was hiding himself around dan?
So yeah, I think that's why dan saw goblin phil, not amazingphil, and was still like "yeah I want to build my life with this person." Because for him, phil represented self-acceptance and being accepted and a safe place and someone who he could be on the same wavelength with and true unconditional love and someone he can geek out with and someone who will let him yap for an hour about whatever the hell dan has decided to talk about that day. of course he would like phil more than whatever version of amazingphil he had built up in his head. because phil loves dan for who he truly is and dan loves phil for who he truly is :)
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sissylittlefeather · 7 months ago
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Double fic day...
It Feels So Right (how can it be wrong?): Part 2
A/N: This mini series is SO FUN. Just a reminder this is the one where ghost!Elvis possesses Austin during the filming of Elvis (2022). If you need to get caught up, read Part 1 here. Enjoy this second installment!
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex
Word count: ~2.5k
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Elvis is nervous about how Austin will react when he finds out he used his body to go out with you, but what's done is done. And he has every intention of begging to let it happen again.
******
The next day at work, you deliver your coffees like you always do.
Elvis hasn't found a way to tell Austin what happened. Austin can tell something is going on, but he assumes it's just some weird ghost business and doesn't pry into why Elvis is acting strange.
But when you walk up to Austin, Elvis tries to catch his attention.
"Austin. Man, I-"
"Hey!" He looks at you and then looks around to make sure you're talking to him.
"Hi..."
"I brought you a coffee. You said you like two creams and two sugars, right?" Elvis puts his face in his hand. That's his coffee order. He's not even sure what Austin would want.
"Oh... umm..." You look at him and your smile falls. You thought something special happened last night, but maybe it was just another in a long line of one night stands for him.
"Anyway. Here." You hand him the coffee and then walk back to where you normally stand, waiting for someone else to tell you what to do. You take a deep breath and try to make sure you don't let the tears that are trying to gather fall down your face.
"Goddamnit." Elvis whispers under his breath. Austin turns to him.
"What the hell was that?"
"You really don't remember anything when I'm... in you... do you?"
"No. What did you do?!" Elvis sighs and tries to think of how he can explain what happened between you last night.
"Well..."
"Elvis. They're going to call for me on set soon. Start talking."
"We went out last night."
"We?!"
"Me and her. But she thinks it was you..."
"You just thought you'd borrow me for the evening?"
"Look, I'm sorry, but I really like her and it was... it was really great."
"Elvis, did you have sex with her in my body?" Elvis cringes and looks down at the floor.
"Mayyybeee..."
"Elvis! What the hell?!"
"I'm sorry! You said no and I just really like her..."
"If you'd asked again, I probably would've said yes."
"Wait? Really?"
"Yes. But you didn't ask-"
"I know. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise."
"We had sex?"
"... yes..."
"It was good?"
"Austin, it was incredible. She's amazing-"
"It's my turn."
"What?"
"I'm taking her out tonight. And you stay out. I wanted to ask her out, so I'm going to." Elvis stands there speechless. This is not what he expected. He expected anger or permission to continue. But this is something totally different. He did not expect competition. Austin takes a sip of the coffee you brought him and winces.
"Two creams and two sugars, dude? Have you never heard of a latte?"
Elvis rolls his eyes and Austin turns and walks towards you.
"Hey! I'm sorry I was awkward. Thank you for the coffee. What are you doing tonight?" You look up suddenly, a bright smile on your face.
"Oh, nothing! You wanna hang out?"
"Yeah, that'd be awesome. Can I pick you up around 7?"
"Yes!" He leans forward and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear.
"I'll see you then." He walks out to the set and you blush. You try to focus on what you're supposed to be doing but the only thing in your head is the fact that you might actually be dating Austin Butler.
What you don't see is the smirk Austin shoots to Elvis. As he passes him to get to where he's going, he whispers.
"Game on, man."
******
That night, Austin shows up at your door dressed far more casually than the night before. Also, his hair is messier and he seems more confident.
"Hey, baby. You ready?" You nod. Apparently sleeping with you was an ego boost of some kind, but you're not exactly complaining. He seems to be more at home in himself and the confidence is hot.
For your date, he first takes you to a small restaurant he's found while he's been in town. It's a hole-in-the-wall type of place, but the food is amazing. Next, he takes you for cocktails at a local bar. It's small and intimate, but upscale nonetheless. After that, you find yourself back at his place on his couch.
This date somehow feels completely opposite of the one last night, but it's not bad, it's just different. He's just as sweet and thoughtful as he was the night before. He settles onto the couch next to you and throws his arm around you.
"You wanna watch something?"
"Sure. What did you have in mind?"
"Anything you want, baby."
What you don't know about this date is that Elvis is there the whole time. He tries to stay quiet, but throughout the evening he finds himself giving tips to Austin about what you like and don't like. The competitive side of him is begging him to shut up, but he also wants to see you taken care of. Austin is doing his best to ignore him, though. He wants to earn your affection in his own right.
"Well. What's your favorite Elvis media?" You ask. Elvis laughs.
"Ha! She's still thinking about me." Austin looks at him and rolls his eyes. He wants to yell at him that she didn't know it was him, but he also doesn't want to appear crazy.
"That feels like work for me, baby. We can watch something if you want, though..."
"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I didn't even think of it that way. We can watch whatever you want."
"How about some music?"
"Yes! Even better." He stands up and walks over to a record player and starts flipping through albums.
"Most everything I have is oldies. Is that okay?" You smile. Elvis scoffs. Oldies.
"That's the music I grew up with."
"Alright then. Fleetwood Mac, Three Dog Night, America, or Elton John?"
"Oh, man. That might be the hardest question anyone's ever asked me." Austin looks at you softly. You really are something else. "America. I'm in a mood tonight."
"I love it." Austin smiles. Elvis wishes you'd asked for something a little more his style, but he respects that you like what you like. The greatest hits album plays and Austin sits down next to you on the couch again. He fidgets with your hair on your shoulder absentmindedly. You turn to face him and you feel the energy between you become charged with something. He leans in slowly and presses his lips to yours. His hand cups your cheek and he kisses you again softly. The next time he leans in, it's an open-mouth kiss and his tongue slides into your mouth passionately.
But something is different. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but the way he's kissing you is slightly different from last night. As he kisses down your neck, you decide that maybe you're just remembering wrong. Besides, this is excellent. Why would you complain? He sucks lightly on a spot near your collarbone.
"I don't think she'll like that." Elvis is still standing next to the couch. He's trying not to watch but his curiosity gets the best of him. Austin wants to ask if he plans to stay the whole time, but he can't really do that without freaking you out.
You moan softly as Austin's hands go to your breasts and he lays you down on the couch, situating himself on top of you. He pulls your shirt off quickly and then takes his off and you're shocked that he's moving this quickly. Last night you had to practically force him to touch you and tonight he's already got you half naked. Maybe it's just because this isn't the first time you've been together. His lips are all over your body as he kisses and licks your chest.
Elvis scoffs.
"You're paying too much attention to her top. Move down." Austin is trying so hard not to hear what Elvis is saying, but it's really starting to drive him crazy.
"Give me just a second, baby." Austin stands up and walks over to the record player. As he does, he mouths to Elvis. "GO. AWAY."
"What? It's not like she can see me. Besides, it looks like you need the help." He turns the music up really loud and walks back over to the couch. You look at him a little strangely and he smiles.
"Sorry, I just... wanted it... loud..." Elvis cracks up laughing at Austin trying to cover for his weird behavior. Austin goes back to kissing you and slides your pants down and off. Elvis rolls his eyes and turns his back. He doesn't really want to watch you with another man. Austin looks at you naked on the couch and shakes his head.
"Goddamn, baby, you're gorgeous." You smile. That sounds like him. He settles between your thighs on the couch and lowers his mouth to your clit. Your back arches as he moves his tongue over and around your sensitive bud. He pushes two fingers into you and spreads them, stretching you out as he licks you. That's new, but it feels good, so you don't protest. You feel your orgasm building as he keeps working his mouth on you.
"Oh, God, Austin." You moan.
"She's about to cum. Don't stop." Elvis hollers over the music. He can tell even without looking. Austin has to use every ounce of his acting skills to keep it together and stay focused on you. But Elvis is right. Your hand goes to his hair as you shudder and pulse around his fingers, your orgasm washing over you like a curtain of intense pleasure. He pulls back and wipes his mouth with his hand.
"You want me to fuck you, baby?" That's a slightly shocking difference from last night, but it's still hot, so you nod as he drops his pants and crawls on top of you. Elvis puts his face in his palm. He's wracking his brain for a way to get Austin to stop, but he can't think of anything. Instead, he stands faced away looking up at the ceiling while Austin pushes into you and begins to fuck you steadily.
"Yes! Yes!" You cry out breathlessly and Elvis hollers again.
"She's gonna cum again." Austin is so close to his own orgasm that he finally loses control.
"GODDAMNIT ELVIS DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!" He pulls out and sits up, looking at Elvis, who turns around slowly.
"You were doing just fine-"
"And yet you couldn't keep your mouth shut!" You look at Austin and over in the corner where he's looking. There's nothing there.
"Austin, what the hell-"
"I can see Elvis! Okay? I see him. He's here."
"You..."
"And sometimes he possesses me and does some of the movie. Last night, he thought he would take me for a joy ride and go out with you. That was him last night. Not me." Elvis looks between you to see how you'll respond to this information.
"Austin, I know you've worked really hard to get into this role..."
"No- I mean I have- but this is not that. I swear he's right over there." He gestures to Elvis in the corner who waves awkwardly, but you can't see him. That's when you realize that you're naked and grab your shirt to cover yourself.
"Tell her I've already seen her naked. She doesn't have to cover up for me." Austin rolls his eyes.
"Elvis says he's already seen you naked."
"Oh. Wait. He's really actually here?"
"Yep."
"And he takes over your body sometimes?"
"He does."
"And that was him last night and not you?!"
"Yes."
"Prove it." Elvis and Austin answer at the same time.
"What?"
"Prove it. What did you call me last night?"
"What do you mean?"
"You called me a specific pet name all night. What was it?"
"I don't know. Honey? I know he says honey a lot."
"Nope. Wrong. Let me talk to him." Austin stands up and pulls his pants back on. Then he looks over at Elvis.
"You heard the lady. Come on." Elvis nods slowly and then jumps. He opens his eyes in Austin's body. He sits down next to you on the couch and reaches his hand out to touch your cheek. He'll never get enough of the way your skin feels.
"Hey, doll." You close your eyes and lean into his touch.
"It really is you."
"It's me. And I called you doll."
"That's why everything has been so different tonight."
"Yes, I've been trying to tell him-"
"Wait. You've been here the whole time. Were you watching us-"
"No! I swear I turned my back. You can ask Austin." You look at him suspiciously.
"Can I talk to Austin?"
"I'll have to jump out and then you won't be able to see or hear me."
"But he will. So he can tell me what you say. If he lies, just come back."
"Alright then. Can I kiss you first?" You nod and he leans in and presses his lips to yours. He kisses you softly a few times and then pulls back. Elvis pulls himself out of Austin and sits on the other side of you on the couch. Austin shakes his head and blinks.
"Do you remember what happens when he's possessing you?"
"I don't."
"That's why you were so weird about the coffee this morning."
"Yes! Also I drink a vanilla latte. Elvis drinks coffee."
"Wow." You sit for a second trying to absorb what just happened.
"So which one does she pick?" Elvis asks Austin tentatively.
"I don't know, man." He turns to you. "He wants to know which one of us you pick."
"Pick?"
"To date." Elvis nods to Austin, who nods back. "We both want to know."
"Why do I have to pick? What if I want you both?"
"You can't even see Elvis!"
"No, but I can when he possesses you. I want you both." You stand up and put your clothes on while the two men sit dumbfounded on the couch. Once you're dressed, you turn and face Austin on the couch. "Where is he?"
"He's here next to me on the couch."
"Alright then." You look where you think he is and then back at Austin. "Figure it out, boys. Make a schedule or something. But I want you both."
You lean down and kiss Austin on the cheek. Then you turn to the other side of the couch and blow a kiss to Elvis.
"I'll see you in the morning. Y'all have fun coming up with a plan for how this will work." You walk to the front door and slip out, closing it behind you.
Elvis and Austin look at each other and bust out laughing. When they stop, Austin sighs and Elvis clicks his tongue. Elvis speaks first.
"Man, she's somethin' else."
"You got that right."
"I guess we better figure it out."
"I guess so..."
******
Until Part 3
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Taglist:
@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @atleastpleasetelephone @cinnamoroll-things @returntopresley
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myceliacrochet · 17 days ago
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Reblog if answer tysm!!
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Buckle up people this one hurts.
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Our society is pretty scared of people who are in great pain, even offended with them.
The feeling I get when speaking with Hala and reading her posts is, here is a person who has been undergoing psychological torture for 400+ days without relief.
True of all Palestinians in Gaza -- just the overwhelming impression I get with Hala.
And Hala Farid Suleiman al-Najjer is not someone who complains over small things. She maintains a trust in justice and goodness, in patient longsuffering and God's plan.
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She is incredibly resilient
She is steadfast
She is screaming
She is screaming into the void
She is screaming at an unlistening world that has made and broken promises to her, a world that watches with glee as she and her people are tortured and killed.
I've said before that speaking with Hala can be disturbing. I'm scared of what I'm seeing happen to her.
Of course, we ought to speak in the active voice -- what Israel and the U.S. are doing to her right now, on purpose.
If your tax dollars have ever gone to the IDF, or if you are a person of privilege in some way (recognizing that that is not a criticism of you), here is a beautiful chance to pay some reparations and relieve some suffering.
A coward hides from the people who are suffering the most in the world, reprimands them, reviles them to mitigate his own cognitive dissonance.
A person of honor and courage loves.
Hala mentions in her GoFundMe that they pray that an angel will rescue them.
I believe in human angels -- a vast village of people working together to help.
You know, we mostly see on here the tip of the iceberg -- the Palestinians who have somehow been able to get vetted, show the exact right pictures, say the right things, learn how to use Tumblr.
It's my impression that Hala does not have the strength to do more than she is doing (which is a lot more than I would be able to do in her place).
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Hala and her family much, much prefer that donations be sent through PayPal. They arrive faster, and this family needs swift relief.
Due to this, it is hard to track her donations, especially because it pains her to talk about any of this so I try not to pry. But it sounds like they have rarely ever gotten donations.
However, they also have a GoFundMe if the donation protection is important to you.
Vetting: Clean RIS, donation-protected GFM. I apologize that there is no vetting information for her and a couple of the Palestinians in my life. Use your own judgement. If it's a con, it's a weird one that doesn't follow the patterns I'm familiar with. Actually, it doesn't even follow the patterns of the kind of legitimate campaigns that are essentially manipulative (an understandable tactic when your family is dying). It's just screaming in despair and a wretched hope beyond hope.
Anyway, if you want to volunteer to help her apply for vetting, be put in contact with her, or offer verification info, please dm me.
@commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria @mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @7bittersweet @321butz @monika-396 @erameteors @tortiefrancis @ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @dykesbat @aristotels @komsomolka @prisonhannibal @rosawo7 @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @heritageposts @watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @determinate-negation @deepspaceboytoy @paper-mario-wiki @kibumkim @socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @rooh-afza @knownoshamc @the-awkward-reblobber @soft-sunbird @cockworkangels @dannyketch @cramenjoyer @oreobunny2 @fireyfobbitmedicine @muminshoom @thedigitalbard @timogsilangan @tboynut @wildfeather5002 @fancy-feast-official @honeytonedhottie @cheloneuniverse @roseillith @thelastharbinger
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