#someone pls tell me if this is ok or not to do.
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IM OBSESSED WITH UR AARON & KELVIN BLURBS,, PLS KEEP IT UP, UR WRITING IS AMAZINGGG !! ❤️❤️.
just wanted to say thank you for all the love I’ve been receiving ! It means so much to me, may god keep blessing y’all and y´all mamas ! ❤️❤️
aaron pierre & kelvin Harrison jr x actress!reader
Variety’s actors on actors
The bright lights of the studio shone down on the minimalist set, the iconic “Actors on Actors” logo gleaming behind you. The three of you sat in a perfect triangle—aaron on your left, kelvin on your right, and you in the middle, the it girl of the moment. The producers had called it “a meeting of cinematic greatness,” but to you, it felt like two boys scheming to make you look crazy on camera.
“Alright, let’s get started,” kelvin said, leaning back in his chair with a grin that could charm the devil himself. He adjusted the cue cards in his hand, before dramatically clearing his throat “before we get back to the official questions, can we talk about this? Apparently, the streets are saying we are in a poly relationship.”
You laughed, covering your face with your hands. “not this again. The streets are getting out of hand honestly.” Aaron tilted his head, pretending to consider. “Should we tell them the truth?”
Kelvin’s jaw dropped. “Wait, no. we should make this an exclusive, sell this to newspapers or whatever."
“No!” you said quickly, glaring at both of them. “They’re messing with you. There’s no truth to it y’all." Aaron shrugged, his eyes twinkling.
Kelvin looked between you two, narrowing his eyes. “I don’t know. I think our chemistry’s too real...” You shook your head, laughing. “Next question !”
Kelvin, leaned forward with a devilish grin. “Alright, Aaron, this one’s for you : What’s it like working with ❁, and do you ever feel overshadowed by her greatness ?”
Aaron chuckled, his tongue pressing into his cheek. “it’s tough. Really tough. Every time she’s on screen, all I can do is stand there and hope I don’t look like a complete amateur.”
“quit playing, big guy.” you laughed, shaking your head. “He’s lying. Aaron’s the type to come onto set, nail every take in one shot, and still look good while doing it. If anything im the one trying to keep up.”
"See, they’re bickering again !" Kelvin looks at the camera.
“Okay, question for you kel,” you said, tapping your cue card against the armrest. “When you first read the script for your movie waves, did you immediately know you’d take the role, or did someone have to convince you?”
Kelvin smiled, stealing a glance at you before answering. “I think I knew pretty early on. There was this one scene in the script—it was so raw, so vulnerable—it made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time. That’s when I knew.”
Aaron leaned closer, resting his chin on his hand. “What scene was it?” You met kelvin’s gaze, your smile softening. “It’s the one where tyler has this kind of massive mental breakdown in front of his parents and he’s trying to go."
"You know, I cried when seeing the film." You say, now a bit blushing since it was a vulnerable moment for you. "The story was so touching and to be able to witness the distress in your eyes from start to end was something I will probably remember forever." You explain, pouring your heart out. Looking back at you, kelvin extended his arms to take your hand in his and kiss it softly. "I appreciate you, a lot." He mumbles against the back of your hand.
aaron looks a you two with softness in his eyes. "Look at them. Never beating the allegations."
“Ok, let’s talk about that final scene in one of your movies, ❁” one person of the crew said, redirecting the discussion. “The one where you’re standing in the rain, and you don’t say a word, but everything you’re feeling is written on your face. How did you prepare for that?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the question “Wow, um... I guess I just thought about all the things I’ve wanted to say but never could. It was about channeling that silence, you know ?”
Aaron nodded, his gaze steady. “And It was beautiful. You were beautiful.”
Kelvin let out a loud cough, breaking the moment. “Alright, Romeo. Save some compliments for the rest of us.”
Aaron smirked but didn’t look away from you. “Can’t help it. She deserves them.”
"This is what I have to deal with everyday y’all.." you say, looking at the camera which is now focused on your pretty face.
"Im not against the idea of a threesome between us though, so hit me up producers. I’m ready." Finishes kelvin, winking.
"Boy you have lost your mind."
@ melosliving 2025
#aaron pierre#aaron pierre x black reader#kelvin harrison jr.#mufasa : the lion king#aaron pierre fluff#kelvin harrison jr x reader#aaron pierre x reader#kelvin harrison jr fluff#actor!reader
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would it be harrassment if i messaged all the ebay sellers who have sold me perfume from japan in the past and ask them if they intend to aquire and resell the new england hetalia primaniacs perfume because i want it so bad i need iggy smells. would this be rude and presumptious or would this be ok because like as a customer i am expressing interest in a product i would like them to stock bc i am a guaranteed sale if they get the item im willing to pay x3 retail price bro pls gimme my iggy smells.
#shut up luci#someone pls tell me if this is ok or not to do.#i dont have anyone in jp to be my personal ss#and obvs none of the well known sses are willing to do it#i heard smj used to but they are dead rip#i might try rinkya i have heard they do perfume so i will apply for an account and see
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spirit boys 🤝 hats
#my arts#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dav#datv#da4#veilguard#the veilguard#dragon age manfred#manfred dragon age#dragon age cole#cole dragon age#dragon age 4#manfred the skeleton#cole the spirit of compassion#dragon age veilguard spoilers#<- not reallyyyyy except for ig the implication of manfred being a spirit. didnt know if that was a spoiler so tagging it to be safe :)#but UGH OF COURSE HE IS NO WONDER I LOVED HIM <333 SPIRIT BOYS !!! THEY ARE BESTIES FOR REALLLLL#a spirit possessing a corpse vs a corpse possessing a spirit. remnants of the og remaining in them while also being their own person !!!#AUGHHH *clutches head and falls on the ground*#also youre telling me “looks good in a hat” was canonically in manfreds bio and NO ONE ELSE had the same idea ?? sounds fake but ok 🤨#also also i cant draw skeletons pls be nice T_T#but i have more art of them coming :))#someone has to do it !!!!!!!!! be the change u want to see in the world or something idk idk
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Nobody gave me any species swap requests so I gave myself one and drew my Joe design!!!
I always pictured him as an avian but I decided to spice it up a bit with the Beetlejuice aesthetic:D
#someone pls tell me if it's ok to tag his username or if he doesn't wanna see this kinda fanart#Sorry for the anatomically incorrect wings I promise I can do better I was just in a not-wing-zone#Swap requests are still open btw:)#How to tag this so the Joe himself doesn't find it......#Hermit species swap#???#hermitcraft#hermitblr#Joe#lmao just Joe.#beetlejhost#Avian Joe Hills#Alek draws
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if anyone were to have a copy of golden terrace volume 2 and is willing to sell it, I would gladly swim an entire ocean, scale the tallest mountain on my hands and knees, cross a desert of hellfire and pestilence, if only to arrive at your door, wallet wide open, to purchase it from you
#golden terrace#cang wu bin bai#黄金台#苍梧宾白#danmei#in all srs I am willing to pay far above retail value and cover shipping#messaged someone on reddit who said they were willing to sell their copy of both volumes and they never responded#if they're not available it's cool but could u pls just put me out of my misery and tell me if they're not available anymore... i'm beg#the false hope is killing me#then HPB listed vol 2 only to cancel my order 2 days later#apparently it was a 'listing error'#ok so someone just sat on the 'list this obscure danmei novel' button or what#probably just shouting into the void but pls if anyone has this book and is willing to part with it I will sell my firstborn fr#gonna tag the whole gang if it means more eyes on this post.... sorry to those who do not care#mxtx#tgcf#mdzs#svsss#rou bao bu chi rou#erha#the husky and his white cat shizun#yuwu#remnants of filth#bing an ben#case file compendium#zhen hun#guardian zhen hun#sha po lang#stars of chaos#priest novels
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes I’m making all these posts in a row#it’s bc I’m obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUND—HIS#STORY (HIS pov. however ‘abstract’ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost… bc wolves actually have family and I’m p sure the#lone wolf thing is a myth… after she realizes that she’s not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things I’m thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space… bc she’s vulnerable to her past here…. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamus’s friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) —was it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm there’s so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole ‘her needing to release her anger’ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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if Jude and Inej didnt had male love interests, TRUST that i will immediately headcanon them as lesbians (Jude as a manhating one even) like omg theres no way these girls dont want other girls (i had to resort to hc jude as bi and inej as queer 🤥)
#six of crows#soc#crooked kingdom#the folk of the air#the cruel prince#jurdan#jude duarte#kanej#inej ghafa#like the scene with inej holding nina's face???#like omg that wa sso homoerotic#AND LOOKK AT JUDE???#SHE'S CANONICALLY LIKE SUPER MUSCULAR AND SHE'S BUILD LIKE AS IF SHE'S BORN TO KISS GIRLS 😭😭#(ignoring the unfortunately amount of fanrts of jude beinf a skinny legend and like zero scars ☹️ like my girl canonically fights and trains#to be a knight and she literally gotten multiple injuries form her prev fights and shits like ???)#AND OH MY GOD INEJ IS SO WLW CODED U GUYS DONT GET IT LIEK I DO 😖#like xan someone draw cardan as a mean femme and kaz as a butch lesbian like prty plesseeee#(i actually already saw fansrt of cardan as alesbian so shout out to thay artist!!)#like ik the books r perfect and all but i swear it would be 20 times better if inej & jude were lesbians and kaz & cardan were like girls ☹️#this might be self projection bcs im also like a girl kisser but liek CMON !!!#actuslly this reminds me of thay one art of genderbended crows and omg it was so gorgeous 😖😖 tho idk where it is now soo#if anyone know who drew that tell me pls 😜#ok bye#tha ms for lit esitng to my yap sessions
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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/ Umm ummm ummmm ☝️🤓! what if you gave this post a like and I sent one of my muses to ur inbox― what then―
#;ooc#ooc#inbox call#feel free to specify if u want someone in particular! i mean it def hellps more#but most importantly; if ur a multi tell me to who of -ur- muses u would want an ask for 👁#OK NO BUT AKSHTUALLY- do pls specify it u can; it saves my indecisive goofy ahh 🙏
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damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
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how are we supposed to cope
#someone pls tell me cause#I don’t know what to do about the pit of just heavy nothingness in me 👍#.txt#vent#ok to rb
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12 yr old me making “oc’s” for my fav media except it was just a female twin version of an existing male character, I would then ship her with a different male character (who usually had a good relationship with her “twin”)(I did not realize two male characters could be together) (child me finding out gay ppl exist)
#I have a vivid memory of doing this with Gus and Spectra#Gus having a twin#local child finding out gay ppl exist#I was sheltered ok#bakugan#bakugan battle brawlers#bakugan new vestroia#shipping#ocs#don’t worry guys#I found out later#theyre gay and in love#and then she found out about lesbians oh boy#canon event#pls someone tell me they’ve done this#original experience#ao3#destiel#got into supernatural in middle school and damn#downhill from there
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ok i need to get this off my chest abt totk's dungeon soundtracks this isnt necessarily a criticism but just a... idk man its confusing hang on
ok. totk's dungeon themes. theyre good im not going to lie they arent my favorite of the series but totk did deliver some good dungeon themes. what i'm confused about is the choice to use the champion's and divine beast's leitmotifs in the dungeons, like using daruks theme and bits of rudania's theme for the fire temple. that's the first that comes to mind cuz thats the one i like best but i think it was especially noticeable to me for the wind temple, the water temple's theme has some similar instrumentation and some very similar sounding phrases and when i see comments or people talking abt the dungeon themes it is very common to see people talk about the champion and divine beast leitmotifs being used.
and like. fine it sounds nice there is an emotional connection there if you have played botw but like. why are their fucking leitmotifs in totk's dungeon themes???
if you give a character or something a leitmotif, then that little string of notes represents that character or location or concept. usage of that leitmotif is therefore intrinsically tied to that character or whatever. this worked out with zelda's theme throughout the series, esp in totk when it's given the instrumentation of the dragon's themes, so that musical phrase at that moment basically says 'zelda, but a dragon' and like. yknow. leitmotif that literally represents something.
i believe the wind temple's theme incorporates some of rito villages theme, and in turn rito village having the same melody as dragon roost island makes sense, that's effectively a motif meant to represent the rito, like the reoccurring zora's domain and goron city motifs throughout the series, or hyrule castle. when characters have themes in past zelda games that play at different times, it means something about the character being referenced. midna's lament using midna's theme to show that this scene is about midna, she is in danger. fi's different themes playing when she is the center of attention or her leitmotif referenced in botw/totk when she literally makes subtle cameos. linebeck's theme only every plays in scenes where he has some sort of big moment or in the final boss theme because it's only fair that the final boss theme include the motif that represents him because he is the final boss. groose's theme shows up various times in his little scenes (and i believe there might be hints of it in later imprisoned themes?? i'd have to check but it would make sense since he's helping)
so... if you reuse a leitmotif that is tied to something, then reasonably that means that the context in which it's being reused is somehow related to or concerning what that leitmotif represents.
but... daruk's theme and some bits reminiscent of rudania's theme play in the fire temple's theme. reasonably, i would hear this and be like, ah, so this has something to do with daruk, or the divine beast? the usage of his character leitmotif suggests that he is related to this somehow. thats... usually the point of using a character leitmotif like was done in the fire temple's theme!
and yet the champions and divine beasts are not so much as referenced in totk's stories, and you can't even try to the point of their themes being used due to the new sages being relatives, because tulin is not related to revali- he doesn't even get the great eagle bow until after the dungeon, and still no reference to revali is made when he gets it.
so then... why are we referencing botw's champions if they do not matter? why not use the sage's leitmotifs in the dungeon themes instead? the dungeons are much more related to the new sages, and it would allow players to become more familiar to that leitmotif, and would further tie the experience to that dungeon with its related sage, instead of tying it to dead characters that mean jack shit to the story of totk.
it's just really weird that they use motifs from the champions and divine beasts, since that won't click for people who didn't play botw, and it just calls back to stuff not important to totk anyways. the divine beasts have literally no relation to the dungeons, the champions are barely even relevant to the world in totk. i get that the leitmotifs were used as like... maybe some sort of extra pre-existing racial connection motifs, but... use the sage's themes? don't use leitmotifs that have absolutely nothing to do with this game or it's story? sure it sounds nice but the meaning behind those leitmotifs make no actual sense in this new context, unless you're trying to suggest that they actually have a different meaning than being the motifs of the characters and locations that were originally what they were used for.
#this is less criticism and more of 'why the fuck was this done actually'#like i get it but also as like. someone who knows what a leitmotif is and what it does why the fuck was this done within context#please use the new sages' themes or smth i deadass do not know what they sound like off the top of my head#salty talks#totk#loz#legend of zelda#i just. its like a weird immersion breaker for me bc im used to hearing character theme motifs when its like. yknow related to the characte#so if i hear a bit of daruk's theme i instantly think of daruk but like. ok? he has nothing to do with anything in the game#its just confusing they honestly shouldve made more use of the sage's themes#EDIT: HEY IF IM WRONG ABT THE TOTK DUNGEONS NOT REFERENCING SAGE LEITMOTIFS PLS CALL ME OUT#LIKE DEADASS. TELL ME IF IM WRONG PLEASE#my point abt referencing divine beast and champions themes stand but seriously#i gave the sage themes a listen and part of yunobo's theme does remind me of fire temple so i might just be short on research here#bitching abt totk
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Sorry for another vent post but here goes
#like i'm not looking for a relationship ok ? but i met this guy and we've been hooking yp#but like he is being all sweet and caring and he is great don't get me wrong#he's like eddie munson i'm not gonna lie#but at the same time he doesn't get my jokes and when i make a sarcastic comment or something funny he always thinks i'm being honest#and then he's too sweet if it makes sense in normal convos? BUT if i am ganuinely distressed (which i am a lot you guys know)#he is just not very emotionally intelligent 😬 and like it's all fun and wtv but i feel like he might like me more than i like him#and i called him babe once bc i had this girl friend who calls everyone babe and i spent like 3 days with her so i called him that#and now he always calls me babe and i'm like 😐 pls stop but i can't tell him to stop bc it will seem rude#and yeah my friends that know him are like he's such a cool guy and so sweet and everything and it looks like we're dating#but like we're not man we're not i met him a few weeks ago#anyway i think in reality i'm trying to find bad things about him just so i can justify not liking him and sabotage the whole thing bc +#+ i'm too afraid lmao#i think i'm emotionally unavailable and don't want a relationship or feel ready for it at all#i feel like i'm starting that age most ppl have at 18/19 of exploring and just vibing except i should have gone through that then#but i never got the change bc of abusive relationships and being at home and not having freedom to just exist#and now i do and i feel like if i start dating someone i'll lose my freedom again#which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel#maybe will talk about this to my therapist see what he says#i think i know what he will say like 'you're just afraid don't think about it too much tell him how you feel'#and i HAVE told him generally how i feel and that i don't want to move mad about it and he was like 'no were just getting to know eachother
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We were talking about weddings and marriages and it feels like I'm the only one I know with no interest in it. It's terrifying it's a cruel commitment and I want a life with no strings attached to a person, my family are enough strings attached.
#personal#married at 30 kids at 32 house at 35. absolutely loving that timeline for u. but I need it different. altho i think of M wanted it#I would have it in a heartbeat.#its just a lot of things to do. marriage rly does feel like The End and its also A LOT to put on people#i want none of it. there's a life to build.#god someone pls tell me its ok to not want to want someone to come home to. friends is good. no romantic partner. like im not good for that#ugh i hate that adult conversations somehow ends up around marriages
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So. The afternoon took a different route. I got to hang with an irl doggo who has the nickname "Twi" she is a babey we had a nap and then played chase and she got lots of pats and was scared of a car so our walk was just a few circles on the drive way and then a good 5 minute cuddle session inside because she is a bABY and needs so much love and I am more than happy to give her the love because I am not even itchy or sniffly because of her I love her
#hyah-txt#im allergic to so many fluffy things and this twi is an exception so im givong her all the love#she is such a lazy baby tho omg shes like pls hold me and tell me im a princess#im like cmon! chase! lets play clase. catch the toy do a roll#and shes side eyeing me like. someone bottle ur hyah-lian faer bonkers#but its ok i will giv her pets#ya boys adhd is begging for an energetic outlet but also just puppy cuddles r fine too
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