#someone please make a spicy fan fic of this tension

[comfortfood-sydcarm]

Annnd you could say he was a little turned on too😏

A few thoughts:

I wish we had more Tina/Syd scenes. Tina —I felt her stress while Sydney kept her composure. I love how she knows to Breathe, Stop, don't think, and just listen when she's overwhelmed.

Carmy was a dick-taker but listened to Syd when she told him No. Stop. He even shuts his mouth (but glares) the rest of the time as she helps Tina.

Watching Sydney plate the pasta, I see that Carmy is still stern and angry, but impressed? WHile she is a calm leader and sure of herself.

Syd and Carmy make eye contact after she says hands. They watch each other, and that is exactly what Marcus talks about. They'll see each other paying close attention at that moment and exchange a few words in their heads.

Just wonder if they talked about it later or if it's another thing they left alone.

[blksuwie1]

RivaMika FanFic Rec List Part 1

Hi friends!

I decided to make this rec list because I've been consuming so much RM fic lately that I've been having a hard time keep tracking of which ones I'm recommending. So, I decided to make this for my selfish reasons lol but I figured this would be good to share since it seems we have some more incoming RM fans our way.

We're currently at 916 RM fics as of today. When I first started reading about this wonderful duo, there were only about 600 or so and it just exploded over the past years. It's so awesome to see our little ship gain some headway.

As always, feel free to add in your own recs! This is merely a beginning list. The links to the fics are attached to the title. I'll include some ratings and brief summary. See the tags below for quick info:

Tags

+ = Completed work

- = WIP

* = nsfw

The Song Remains The Same by MoraLeeWright. Rated M, * and +. What can I say about this masterpiece that hasn't been said already? This is probably the best intro to rivamika that you can ask for. Really good rival to lovers done in a realistic manner. So damn good, you'll consume it in less than three days. Recommended to anyone who is a bit iffy about this pairing and needs some convincing. The smut is beautifully done too. Fantastic slow burn.

Just Until The Storm Has Gone by MoraLeeWright. Rated E, * and +. When I tell you I screamed at some of these scenes! A much more angsty composition to the post canon au fics out there, but done so well. You almost forget how much angst the characters feel when the sweetness of their actions outweigh them. Author is incredible and has more works, but these two are just *chefs kiss*.

Surviving Peace by die-forellex (heatinfreezing). Rated E, * and +. This fic was my first RM fic, and I'll never forget it. It's hot, sweet, and oddly comforting. There's a particular, ahem, mouth on private part scene that always me fan myself in chapter 2. The satisfaction you feel when these two are finally finally happy, it's so wholesome. Just mind the tags--ackerbaby and pregnancy is big in this one.

To you, five years from now by a_sassin. Rated E, * and +. A different take on a post war au that has Eren and Armin alive, trying to navigate their last years as Mikasa returns to them. Oh, and she's pining for a certain captain *grins gleefully*. This is angsty but not as heavy as you'd expect. Very spicy but sweet. Definitely give this a try.

The Sound of Lightning by LycheeGreenTea. Rated M, * and -. Ackerbabies? Ackerbaby. This cute but action packed WIP is such a worthy check out. There's something about Daddy!Levi and Mommy!Mikasa that eats at my rm heart. Another take on a post war au that leaves you wanting more. A spicy scene and some domestic fluff is all you need to want more from this author.

After The War by loneackerman (aka the wonderful @rivaille-13) Rated M, * and -. THIS STORY. Anyone who is reading this can attest to just how amazing the plot and development of these characters are. There's a delicious slow burn element to it, and it's recently been resolved...let me tell you, worth the wait. Author is almost done with the fic I believe, but please check this story out. It's one of the best post war canon healing au's out there.

Same Old Thing by Raewyll. Rated M, * and -. Did someone say underground adventure? This was one of the best stories I had the pleasure of following along for a while now. I think the author has one more chapter left over. This is great for those who want something kind of spicy but not too spicy. The tension, plot, and action are all still there though.

I am from a burning village by @valya-azucena. Rated M and -, possible *. There's so much I want to say about this fic but can't coherently describe how amazing it is. The tension and build up of these characters is so SO good, and I screamed at the last update. 10/10.

Inexorable by @alienheartattack. Rated T and +. Hello modern au! I devoured this fic during work shamelessly. It's short and sweet, and there's just something so hot about the secretary/boss trope that eats me up.

Paths in Constellations by LamentableBrat. Rated E, * and -. HOLY SMOKES. This fic has torn me apart, y'all. When I tell you I cried AND am hotly bothered, no one else can do this but this author. It's an incredible fic and am so excited to see where it goes.

Soldiers Don't Get Happy Endings by heretosayhello. Rated T and -. I had to do a double take when I saw this was rated T because holy heck, this author just writes the tension between them like no other. There's a lot of Ackertalk and new plot lines I'm incredibly jealous of that I didn't think of first. SO GOOD.

Deep Sea Running by @linaxlight (shameless self plug). Rated E, *, and +. Post canon AU of what happens when the old Levi squad comes back to Paradis Island. Everyone else seems to have moved on three years after the ending of the war, and they make their peace saying goodbye to Eren. But Mikasa chose to stay behind back then, and she'll need to face Levi eventually. Sequel has Ackerbabies because I love them.

That's all for now folks! I'll do a part 2 next time.

[dirty-urie]

McBrendon

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

Unspecified Era

Smut Oneshot

NC-17

3.2k Words

Warnings in order of appearance: RPF, language throughout, not pre-discussed roleplay scene, medical roleplay and language, sex

Author's Notes:

So, basically, I was re-watching Grey's Anatomy, and I was like, "What if Brendon was here?" and then this was born. I have no idea if someone who's never watched Grey's Anatomy would understand or appreciate this, but basically what I think you need to know is that Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan are sexy manwhores (in the earier seasons), and a common recurring joke in the earlier seasons of the show is putting "Mc" in front of adjectives to describe love interests. The fic is supposed to be more silly than sexy, but maybe it's sexy too, I don't really know.

"Wait, what about those two?" He asks, and you sigh exasperatedly.

"Brendon, just assume that all of the doctors on the Doctor Sex Show have slept together. That's the whole point."

He groans and slumps back in his chair, "Remind me why we have to watch this overdramatic doctor smut in the theater? The theater should be a sacred space for Disney movies or action movies with boobies and explosions, not 'ohhhh does McCreamy only like Natalie because she hooked up with Appendectomy?.'"

"It's my week on laundry duty, and whoever's folding laundry gets to watch whatever they want wherever they want. That's the rules, but you can go watch something in the living room or on your computer or on your phone if you don't like it," you offer, trying to get rid of him. You love Brendon, you love him so much, but sometimes you need to sit in the dark and fold laundry with no other noises except your soapy little doctor show.

"Fine. The men of the house are going to go watch something manly, don't bother us. Come on, Bogart!"

Brendon's little Jack Russell turns to look at you as if asking to stay, but you pat his back and send him off to go snuggle with his dad. You don't think you could handle Brendon's betrayed gasps if you let Bogart finish the episode with you. You and Penny will be fine ogling at Patrick Dempsey while file-folding Brendon's 68 pairs of gray and black sweatpants alone. Brendon kisses your cheek before he leaves. "Have fun with the boobs and explosions, babe," you tell him on his way out of the room.

"Oh, you know I will!"

•••

Two weeks later, it's your turn to fold laundry again, and you're back to watching Grey's, this time in the living room. The dogs are sitting next to you, eyes glued to the screen. Brendon's also in the room, bitching about "introducing this drivel into our home," but you're ignoring him because you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

He finally quiets down, and you appreciate the five minutes of peace. Until… "Are you unsatisfied with our sex life?" He asks out of the blue.

You're taken completely aback for a second before you scramble to pause the tv. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what? Where did this come from?" you ask him. What the fuck? Is he unsatisfied with your sex life?

"Well, we haven't had sex in weeks practically." Three days actually. It's been three days, but you don't interrupt him. "And you keep watching this sexy doctor show, so I don't know, maybe you're feeling like a bored housewife," Brendon explains.

You laugh at him, and he looks offended. "You're overthinking it, baby boy. It's just a show! Sure, the sexual tension between the entire hospital and Mark Sloan is spicy and exciting, but I'm not trying to compensate for anything lacking in my life. If anything, all that spice just translates into better sex for both of us. Okay?"

He looks very skeptical. "Hm, sure. I totally believe you."

You don't necessarily think you properly got your point across to him, but Meredith just made another bad decision, and you need to see how it pans out. "Okay, great, now go watch a manly show with Bogs in our room if you're going to keep whining."

Brendon does not, in fact, go into your room to watch a manly show on his laptop. Instead, he and Bogart start watching season 1 of Grey's Anatomy, immediately getting highly invested in the lives of the ambitious-yet-messy surgical interns. He's trying to figure out what exactly appeals to you about the show.

•••

It's his turn to fold the clothes, and he's doing it wrong, but you're resisting the urge to do it for him because you're a feminist, damnit. He's still letting you watch Grey's Anatomy because he's a doll (and you don't know this, but he's also become a bit of a fan.)

"Do you think I'm more a Mark Sloan or a Derek Shepherd?" He asks.

You scoff, "You're a George."

"I am not! I'm way sexier than George!"

"You're just jealous because I'm an Addison."

"Pshh, you're a Bailey. You wanna know how I know?" He asks.

"Fine. Tell me." You give in.

"You desperately want to correct my laundry technique."

•••

"Meet me in the on-call room in five," Brendon whispers against the back of your neck while you're drying the dishes from dinner. What is this man doing? "Meet you where?" You ask, but he's already walked away. You're not sure whether to actually wait the five minutes or just try to go find him.

You give him three minutes before going to the bedroom. You honestly don't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't Brendon laying on his side in the middle of your bed, shirtless under a white coat. He has on a pair of navy blue scrub pants that aren't particularly flattering, but they still look nice on him.

"Explain to me what's happening here, homie," you tell him.

"I'm being sexy for you! So sexy! I'm Dr. Brendon "McKinky" Urie, I'm a general surgery attending, but my real specialty is pleasure."

You visibly cringe for him. "You're a McDoofus, and your real specialty is probably malpractice."

He pouts. "Play along. Come on. Please? Be Dr. Y/N Sexy."

You roll your eyes. "Why do you get your real last name, but I'm Dr. Sexy?"

"Because we're not married in this fantasy! We're both cheating on our spouses but not in a tragic way, in a sexy way! Come on! Let yourself have fun," he pleads.

You feel yourself start to cave. "Fine, I'll play along, but I'm stopping this the minute I feel weird, okay?"

"Of course. And, babe, if you don't want to do this, you absolutely do not have to," he says, serious now.

"No, no, Brendon. I'm down for this. I think you're a total goof for doing it, but I trust you."

He brightens, "Great! Now it's time for your examination." He waggles his eyebrows, climbing off the bed and gesturing for you to take his place.

"Exam? Am I a patient? Why am I in the on-call room if I'm a patient?" You ask.

"Doctors need exams too, y'know. We're both doctors, but I don't know, you need a routine exam for like moles or something. Take your clothes off." He says, and you take a split-second to be grateful that Brendon got discovered for his musical talents and will therefore never be an actual doctor.

You stifle back your laughter and strip down to your underwear, lying on your back on top of the white sheet he put over the comforter to protect the bed from any potential messes. He stands over you next to the bed, and you're happy that you at least get to stare at his body during this little experiment. The whole "doctor" thing may not be driving you wild on its own, but your half-naked husband always will.

"Thank you for coming to this appointment, Dr. Y/N Sexy," he says. Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, you chant in your head. "First," he says, making his voice husky, "I need to test your reflexes." Something tells you he won't be using one of those little hammers. He bends down and breathes against your neck. You shiver, and goosebumps appear on your arms. You're glad you wore your front clasp bra when he unclips it and has immediate access to your breasts. He circles around your nipple with his finger, and they harden quickly. "Mmm, good reflexes indeed. Very responsive," he purrs. "I don't think your test results are conclusive yet. You should keep going," you encourage. He rubs your scalp, and your head rolls back. You're worried that you'll start drooling.

Brendon smirks at you a little, and his smugness is slightly infuriating. Yes, you like him touching you, but that hardly proves that his weird roleplaying was a good idea. "Just like I observed, fantastic reflexes. But I now must move on to the chest exam." He rests his head on your chest, and you're beginning to suspect that this whole thing was just a ploy to touch your boobs a lot. "Is your heart rate always this fast or just when your hot coworker is touching you?"

"Normally only my husband, also named Brendon… for some reason, can get me so worked up, but now I'm thinking of leaving him for you, McCrinkly."

"It's McKinky, and your husband sounds gorgeous and super smart. You should keep him around," he says, climbing onto you and groping your breasts. "In my professional opinion, these are nice tits."

You have to bite your lip to resist the urge to laugh again. You wouldn't quite say you're aroused, but you are having fun at least. "Okay, okay, doc. Enough of the preliminary exam; I need five and a half inches, stat."

"You couldn't round up to six while we're playing!?"

"Oh, come on, you're lucky I rounded up to five and a half!"

"Rude! So rude!"

You kiss him to shut him up. "Sorry, baby, I won't bully you anymore. Now, how about a cervical exam?" You suggest, craving his thickness inside you.

That cheers him up. Brendon resumes his doctor roleplay. "First, let me complete the dermatological examination. If you could remove your undergarments, please."

You throw your bra on the floor and take off your underwear.

He admires the small amount of newly-exposed skin. "So many marks on your breasts and pubic region. Did your hot husband leave these too, or should I investigate for a skin condition?" He asks, ducking between your thighs to add some more.

"Yeah, he left them there. My sexy husband is kind of the best, but enough about him," you say.

New dark spots pop up after he finally moves his mouth from the sensitive skin of your thighs. "Oops, I think I just burst a couple of capillaries."

Well, someone did some light googling. "Do you think I'll make it?" You ask, faking drama.

"Yes, but you'll need someone to pay lots of attention to the area between your thighs."

He never mastered the art of subtly, did he? "I don't think that will be an issue. My husband will be thrilled."

"Great, that's taken care of. Shall we commence with the cervical exam then?" He asks, rolling off you to tug off his scrubs and underwear. He keeps his dumb coat on, which is more goofy than sexy without clothes underneath, but you don't tell him that. "And we can test your motor skills at the same time. Hands and knees, please."

You obey, and he moves behind you to enter you. He pushes into you quickly and hard, just like you like it. "God, there's so much blood in my, hm, um corpus cavernosum… I think," he says.

"Your what? Are you trying to cast a Harry Potter spell? because that's a whole different roleplay," You crane your neck back to see him, and your eyes widen. "Brendon, are you," you need to pause to choke back your laughter, "are you reading from a flashcard? While inside me?"

He's on his knees behind you, squinting at a white notecard. He flips the card over and reads from it, "the corpus cavernosum is, um, the main erectile tissue in the genitals. So, uh, I was trying to say that I'm hard for you."

That's it, you can't contain your laughter. You can't even bear to look at Brendon without cracking up. Tears are streaming down your face. He hisses, and you think it's because you've upset him, but you turn back to look at him, and he's biting his lip, his head tilted back.

"Are you good, B?" You ask, a little worried.

He's breathing hard. "Yeah, just your laughing caused contractions around my cock, and I was not prepared. Felt good, just unexpected." He pulls almost all the way out and then jerks back in, not quite slamming but gearing up to it.

"Faster, please. Careful still, but faster," you request.

He speeds up perfectly, finally filling you up and relieving the ache inside you. You relish each time his hips meet your body, feeling close to him, even if the position isn't as intimate as he usually likes. You suppose successful Dr. Kinky, notorious womanizer, wouldn't necessarily want to make loving, passionate eye contact with all of his conquests.

"So, Dr. Kinky-"

"No, it's doctor Urie, McKinky."

Jesus, you need a script. "So, Dr. Urie, do you have enough energy after all those lobotomies or whatever to rub a girl's clit? I bet my husband, the other Brendon, would touch me."

"Well, I would never even bother to compete with such a stellar man, but I can still try to get you off." His hands move between your thighs to touch your cunt. "Oh no, so much excess fluid here. I hope nothing's wrong." He puts a finger on your throbbing clit and feigns a sigh of relief, "Good, I've found a pulse." His touch is feather-light as he slowly strokes you. The contrast between his fast, hard thrusts and delicate strokes somehow enhances both of his actions.

"Oh, that's nice," you moan.

"You mind if I have you roll over? I still have to test your flexibility, and I'd love to do that with your legs on my shoulders."

"Fuck yeah."

He pulls out, and you get on your back; he gets you ready by situating the pillows underneath you. You rest a leg on either shoulder, and he thrusts in again. You don't want to admit it to him, but you feel like you'll need to come soon. The spikes of pleasure pulsing between your legs have been getting stronger and closer together, and now that you can see what you do to him, rather than just hearing his occasional grunts, you feel even closer to crossing that finish line.

"I'm observing some rapid contractions, Sexy. Should I note in your chart how close you are to coming all over me? Because it seems to me that you're failing your stamina and endurance evaluation," Dr. Urie teases.

You close your eyes to try to eliminate a source of the arousal, but you still feel painfully close to the edge.

Brendon inadvertently shifts a bit, and that does it. Your arousal peaks intensely, and you try to restrain your reactions on the off chance he doesn't notice. However, you're pretty sure he does notice your orgasm when his movements slow to a stop, and that's confirmed when he outright says it. "You just came," he states. It's not a question.

You nod, not bothering to deny it.

He pulls out, and you finally get to see his still-hard cock soaked with your wetness. "Well I suppose, we can run… further tests to reach a full diagnosis," he practically croons, pulling his scrub pants back on, and a wave of lust spreads from your stomach. Fine, the doctor thing is a little hot. "It's up to you though, I defer to your professional opinion."

"I think my exam is complete, actually, but I know you've been complaining of some pain in this region," you give his crotch a quick squeeze. "Do you mind stripping so I can investigate?"

He immediately takes off his coat, obviously excited, and gives it to you, so you put it on. "So, can you describe the pain?" You ask, putting a hand on his thigh.

"Kind of an ache, I guess?"

You squeeze his thigh, "And you'd say the pain is mainly here?"

"No, uh, um, to the right."

You squeeze his other thigh, "Oh, I see, right here?"

"No, not, um, my thigh."

"Sorry, I understand." You lay your hand flat on his stomach, still carefully avoiding his cock. "Your stomach must be hurting."

"Still not quite."

You clench your jaw in fake frustration. "Well, could you just show me where you need my attention, Doctor Urie?"

He shoves down his pants and grasps his leaking cock, groaning in relief when he starts to tentatively touch himself.

"Yes, very good, thank you. Would you say the ache subsides with stimulation?" You ask professionally.

Brendon nods and smirks a bit, "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well, I think you just need to achieve ejaculation," you diagnose.

"Is that, ah, covered under my insurance?" He asks cheekily, still jerking himself.

You laugh, going to dig the lubricant out, "Okay," you nudge his hand away, "leave this to the professionals." You pour the clear lube into your hand. "This may be a bit cold," you warn. He doesn't really need the lube, he's both leaking profusely and still slick from being inside you, but you want to keep up the "doctor vibes." You grasp him firmly and stroke quickly, trying to get him off as soon as you can. You kind of want to use your mouth, but you can't think of a good reason to within the roleplay. That's mostly fine, though, because you can tell he's about to come.

He comes all over your hand without warning a minute or so later. He shudders and groans, spurting twice more. You didn’t realize how worked up he was. Of course, you saw how hard he was, but to come this much from just jerking him off means he was really turned on. "Outstanding sperm production, sir," you say, crudely wiping him up with a tissue.

"Okay, no more doctor talk. My brain is too mushy," he groans.

You take off the coat and get into bed, cuddling against him. "If your brain is mushy, you probably should see a doctor."

He giggles. "So, would you do this again?"

You think for a second. "Well, I'd roleplay with you again, but you have to warn me next time. And probably not the doctor thing again. It was hot playing with you, but thinking about actual medical procedures is not my thing."

He yawns, "Noted about the warning you next time, and that's too bad. I was really looking forward to the oral exam. How big is your mouth? How's your swallow technique?" He says, half-jokingly.

"Hey, don't push it, or we're doing a prostate exam, and due to budget cuts to the hospital, we're going to be low on lubricant."

He cringes, "Point taken. I don't need a doctor roleplay; the next time I want a blowjob, I'll just ask."

You get out of bed and put on your pajamas. "Well, if it's in the next 45 minutes, your request is getting denied because Penny Lane, Bogart, and I are watching the real Grey's Anatomy in the theater while you're still too weak to complain about it. And this is a good time to tell you that my character is not actually a medical doctor. I have a PHD in film studies. I’m a fraud.”

His mouth drops open, "You're telling me that wasn't an official medical handjob?!"

"I trust that you'll get over this. Love you, babe."

He scowls but still mutters a quiet, “I love you too.”

[mamashitty]

fic writer interview

tagged by the lovely & talented @blackinkpen

Name: Ash

Fandoms: the big and most obvious one: Check Please! it’s really the only fandom that I’ve written fics for. it is also the fandom that I reads the most fics for as well. it’s my little bit of comfort. I have done a lot of writing in what could be considered the HP fandom, but I never wrote fic for it. just over a decade worth of RPing with a close group of writing friends. we’ve completely made our own (and may I biasedly say better) world within that world. I’ve never really read HP fic, and never written it. I focus on OCs who technically live in some version of the world, so I don’t really consider myself part of that fandom anymore.

other fandoms I love to read but am too chicken shit to write in: Hannibal; One Last Stop; Schitt’s Creek; Red, White, and Royal Blue; The Old Guard.

I’m still kinda’ anxious about writing in the Check Please! world, but I’ve done it, and I’ve always had fun when I get the courage to do it, and the will to finish things.

Two-shot: I…I have probably read a few two shots, but none are springing to mind. I’d call myself a fan. I like even numbers. I’ve never written one myself. but I’d be willing to read some if anyone wants to suggest ‘em from: Check Please or One Last Stop or any of the fandoms listed above.

Most popular multi-chapter: Samwell Elementary School (it's my only!)— I am proud of myself for finishing it! I know I had a lot of fun writing it, but I haven’t revisited it. I want to change the title as I don’t think it quite fits. but I have no regrets writing it, and I’m still proud of it even if I think it’s probably fairly weak in terms of the writing.

Actual worst part of writing: anything where I need to do a lot of description. OR where my characters are supposed to be suave and flirts. like, I dunno how to flirt. and also when my characters are supposed to be smart? like, I’m not smart and that’s okay. but I have this sick fascination with smart characters and then I’m screwed when I need to make actually use their smarts, yanno? dialogue too can trip me up, but I think that’s because I’m so used to RP writing where I can bounce off of someone else’s dialog. when I’m writing it all myself I worry everyone sounds the same. just gotta’ practice more.

How you choose your titles: song lyrics, random words from the story, objects that are in front of me, filler titles that I mean to change and then never do, ridiculous one sentence summary of what’s happening, quotes, anything that amuses me. I’m a wild card when it comes to titles, I guess. it changes with the mood.

Do you outline: not really. for longer ones I try to at least do a bullet list outline, but often I deviate from that. I like to just let my writing go where it wants to go, even if it wants to go in the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WANT IT TO GO. I’m one of those writers… especially with my original characters who has like very little control over WHAT their characters do. I dunno. I tell them to do something and they laugh at my audacity.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: so. many. ideas.

but there’s this big one with Zimbits where they live in a world I’ve created, and I’ve started this fic so many times and just. stopped. but there’s magic and Jack and Bitty and the rest of the gang. and I do want to actually write it one day. I have images of it in my head, I can almost smell it and taste it and feel the magic but when I sit down to write it I just fucking freeze.

there’s also this AU where Bitty is a dog trainer and Jack gets a doggo, and I just want them to bond over their pets. and Jack’s competency kink at Bitty being really fucking good at his job even when he’s pointing out where Jack could use some work. I used to work at a pet store, and I just got inspired by the doggos and trainers there lol.

another version of the Samwell Elementary School but this time *everyone* is a teacher. And there’s tension. BECAUSE OF COURSE.

Librarian!Bitty and single!dad Jack.

OH oh oh. Flea Market Flip with the Samwell Crew. So many ideas. So little faith in myself in actually writing thes lol

Callouts @ me: stop being afraid of my ideas and insistent that I can’t do them justice. because I’ve been doing some kind of writing my entire life, and I’m not complete garbage. trust that people like what I write if they told me that they do. fake it ‘til you make it with the confidence or something.

Best writing traits: fuuuuuuuck. so, I dunno. But I’m good about writing nearly every day. most of that is in RP with my friends or my attempts at novels. I wanna get better at consisent fic writing—but I’ll say, I’m good at at least making words come out even if I’m not always good at finishing longer things. At least I make time for myself and my writing. with two young kids and a parnter, I think that’s cool. highfive to myself.

Spicy tangential opinion: writing is hard, but I think a lot of times, we get so stuck in our own heads that we make it harder than it needs to be. even if what you write is pure garbage, you are getting something out. and that something can be edited and turned into something amazing. give yourself time and the grace to fuck it all up. no one is perfect, but your fics and your ideas, are still fucking amazing and probably better than you realize. its hard, but doable. eventually.

tagging: @wrathofthestag @doggernaut @marvel-girl-13 @weneedtotalkaboutfic and anyone else who wants to do this!

[graciecatfamilyband]

I saw somewhere that today is fanfic author appreciation day! I am unsure if this is accurate or not, but assuming that it is, I would like to take a moment to say: I appreciate you, my beloved fanfic author friend!!

My Dearest Tachiisms,

It was in fact fanfic author appreciation day when you sent this (August 21)! I deeply appreciate this gesture of appreciation from you, my RP friend. :) 

I am going to use this opportunity to say that that day- usually a day of great joy for me, as someone who has loved many works for fanfiction since I began reading it two years ago- was a bit of a hard day for me. My relationship with the fan fiction community (at least within the community I currently write in) has changed considerably in the last year and, on top of that, I have not written nearly as much as I have wanted to (or, to be honest, read as much as I wanted to either). 

The good things that I did get to reflect on for Fanfic Appreciation Day:

Getting to beta the work of @mary-twig. We are going slowly in terms of putting the finishing touches on the remaining chapters, but she has a very sweet and spicy Han/Leia story in progress right now, and I’m very excited for audiences to get to experience some upcoming dialogue and sexual tension. It’s been an honor to get to be there with a young writer as she develops her style and learns how she wants to story-tell, and I’m so impressed how she manages to navigate the differences between English and her native language. (Check out her FF.net page here.)

Betaing the final installment of @organanation‘s Wild West AU. I was so impressed at her continued growth in writing period, her ability to create imagery in a world she created, her ability to effectively write action scenes that did the job more than well but weren’t excessively long (i.e. they kept my attention, and made me laugh and cheer, and I sometimes struggle with paying attention to those!), and her continued mastery of romance and sexual tension. I owe her some reviews, but the final, short chapter of the story is probably my absolute favorite part and a must-read for any Han/Leia fan. The flirty, saucy, playful romance of it, so Han/Leia, and yet such a happy ending. Having the privilege to do all the nitpicking on the story while she does the heavy lifting has been a joy. (FF.net page here.)

Continuing to admire the sheer productivity of @lajulie24, her ability to do so much in such a short space, and to integrate themes that speak to me with excellent characterization and great plot. (And now she does mood boards? Amazing!) Just a very impressive writer on many spectrums. (AO3 page here.)

@jediofgrace​ For her writing, and for nerding out with me about what makes stories work and what speaks to readers, and for writing with a sense of humor and detail. She is an equally great writer and reader. (FF.net page here.)

@jainadurron​ who shared some interesting, honest, in-depth, and thoughtful discussions about writing, story-telling, characterization, etc. with me. I deeply appreciated them. (I especially recommend  her NJO fic The Road to Recovery and her AU An Alderaanian Love Story.)

@swimmergirl71​ who took the plunge from reader into writer this year, with great results. So many “readers” have worlds within them that they carry inside for fear of looking foolish or being incapable if they put them to paper, and it’s so thrilling when they actually share them with us. Thanks for doing so swimmergirl, and I hope you will feel free to share more in the future. (FF.net page here). 

@smugglerofsass’s unique point of view, commitment to exploring the depths of Han’s inner world, and ability to take any given piece music and turn it into Han/Leia scenes. I hope she will keep posting snippets of whatever she wants to work on or is in her head at a given moment, as well as keep working on some of those MCs she taunts us with. (Her FF.net page is here, but really, she puts so much on Tumblr only!) 

@otterandterrier‘s Scoundress Saturday, which provides such a great opportunity for people to try their hand at writing in a low-pressure and accepting space! This is a true treasure of the Han/Leia community. Fanfiction is, to me, about “everyone can do it”, and Scoundress Saturday, to me, makes people really feel like that is so. (Although all types of content and its creators are welcome! But I particularly enjoy how well it attracts fic writers.) It’s also just great to have an organized place where one can see Han/Leia fanfic weekly. Thanks to Dessi for all the work she puts into making it happen for everyone. 

@otterandterrier​ herself (check out her writing blog @otterandterrierwrites​ ), who has remained committed to her foc writing while finishing major RL writing tasks. I wouldn’t know where to start on reccing her last year’s worth of work because it’s so varied and so good, but I’ve particularly enjoyed seeing Han and Leia getting to know each other in the bedroom, Leia attempting to meditate, and that time Han asked Leia to marry him. (AO3 here.)

@yoyomarules an incredibly talented writer whose mastery of dialogue and sense of humor make her a must read! I am so woefully behind on her work, but I am so grateful I discovered her this year. Again, too hard to recommend a specific work, because it’s all so good! (AO3 page here.) 

@inelegantprose whose dedication to exploring the themes which most interest her in varied, never-ending, and never ever boring ways, and with such skill, is a breath of fresh air (or, because of the heaviness of some of the writing, a gust of storm wind! but either way- bracing, making an impact, different from one’s usual experience, etc.). The Lynnie ‘verse and what comes next particularly  stand out to me, but I have such admiration for her as a writer. I also appreciate her willingness to talk openly about the themes she thinks about and how they become part of her writing, her enthusiasm about connecting with other writers, and her extreme dedication to her readers even with many personal real life challenges. (FF.net page here.) 

@madame-alexandra, one of the first fanfic writers whose kept me returning again and again to an MC and finally forced me to share my thoughts in the form of a review because I was too obsessed. (And who therefore made me into the kind of reader who reviews!) I also admire the way she takes care of herself and her ability to write by setting her own boundaries and limits with what she’s able to do and engage with. I loved the fic she gifted me with this year, and am just overwhelmed (in a good way) by the varied content she produces so consistently. (FF.net page here.)

@onwardintolight whose dedication to working quietly on The Opening behind-the-scenes until enough is finished and it is consistent enough that she’s ready to start posting it again is something I appreciate regularly without her knowing it. :) It is hard to be a fanfic writer who does not post very much, especially when writing a whole multichpater that people can’t see recent progress on. I admire @onwardintolight, adore The Opening, can’t wait for more, and appreciate her lyricism and attention to psychological detail. And admittedly, she is an amazing cosplayer! (FF.net page here.)

@ashlynncoy‘s Misfire ‘Verse is a stand-out for sure, especially for . those of us who love Bail and Breha Organa and imagining them interacting with Han. However, I also hold a special place in my heart for writers and stories who can allow or give Han or Leia previous romances, especially in a way that deepens or strengthens their relationship with each other, and she stands out to me as someone consistently able to do this (and who does it repeatedly despite attracting a lot of ugliness for it). (FF.net page here.) 

@followfire who does not think of themselves as a writer (although they are a great reader!) but who nevertheless gave us this. I know you have fic ideas, and I hope you will write more, if it will bring you joy to do so!

@not-a-committee I’ve never stopped thinking about this. 

@corellianangel’s consistent creativity is also full of delights. Still thinking about General Distraction tbh. (AO3 here, but she’s another one with many Tumblr-specific gems!) 

 @winterbythesea this continues to haunt me, in a good way.

@amilynh Her forays into writing, enjoyment of engaging in the psychological depths of Leia, and constant support as a beta and thinker of character and plots and things, as well as her Rebel fanfics, are impressive and I am grateful for them.  (AO3 page here.)

@chancecraz​ You’ve heard of her, and rightfully. There’s nothing I could add. Her writing is really something- the character work, the prose, the detail, the imagery- I recommend it!!!! (AO3 here.)

@alderaanallday You silent gremlin, I see you. :) You may write only under extreme duress, but my writing would not be the same without your beta work. I can’t emphasize enough how many times commenters have said “oh, I loved this detail!” and I have had to tell them, “Oh, @alderaanallday came up with that one!” I hope they believe me. ILY. 

@aloemilk, who is not part of the Han/Leia or Star Wars fandom (Luke Skywalker who?), but who is a great Romione writer and, and generally all around great person. Great companion as we walk this fanfic road. (AO3 here)

@fanfictionwriter101​ I’ve been really enjoying this (also non SW/non HL) individual and their commitment to that fanfic life. Enjoyed that they’ve started to offer some writing challenges too!

You all inspire in me in one way or another and help me tap into my own creativity. I admire each of your efforts and successes. I am privileged to be part of some of your creative processes. Thank you for being fanfic writers and for sharing your fantastical inner worlds with us! 

If you read any of these writers (and you should!) please, absolutely, positively thank them for writing by leaving them a comment or sending them a message to let them know you enjoyed their work! It’s the best way to feed a writer. :) 

[winryofresembool]

EdWin one-shot: Mood Swings

Summary: It was just another typical fight in the Rockbell-Elric household... or was it?

A/N: Last week I read an (AU) fic in which Ed and Winry found out they could never have children. Well, being a fan of all things happy, I wanted to fix that, so I wrote a fic of the canon!universe Ed and Winry finding out they are going to be parents. “Warning”: lots of fluff so be sure to have a toothbrush and floss nearby (I know it’s quite a lot of fluff for this couple, but hey, they can have their happy moments too >:(). Other warnings: a couple of swear words and implications of EdWin s e x if that’s something that bothers you.

Words: 3038 (holy damn this is definitely my longest EdWin fic so far and maybe even my longest fic ever)

After finally admitting their feelings for each other, learning to deal with the sexual tension between the two of them, and eventually getting married, Edward and Winry didn’t bicker as often as they used to. Well, it would be wrong to say the two hotheads never did it, but if someone asked them about it, they’d say bickering kept things interesting (and making up was way more fun now that they weren’t blushing from every single touch). Usually even an outsider could see that their arguing wasn’t too serious.

However, only a couple of weeks after returning from their honeymoon in Xing, they got into an argument that started from something silly, but it got much more heated than either Ed or Winry wanted. They were sitting at the dinner table, chatting peacefully about everyday things, when Winry suddenly asked Ed how long it had been since his last automail maintenance. For some reason, the young man got visibly uncomfortable about the question, and he didn’t answer for a long while.

The automail mechanic didn’t miss the mood shift of her husband, sensing that he was hiding something.

���Ed? Is there something you haven’t told me?”

Her voice sounded harsher than she had originally planned, but she took pride in Ed’s automail… If someone else had touched it… hell, Winry might just go and find that person, and make sure they would never touch it again.

“What do you mean? I’m not…! I just don’t remember, that’s all!” He said, looking like he was expecting a wrench to hit his head any moment.

His white lie didn’t convince his wife, so she ordered: “Show it to me, now.”

Defeated, Ed did what he was told to do. After setting his leg on a chair, he slowly pulled the hem of his pants up, so she could see it better.

“This looks… This looks suspiciously fine…” she said after examining the leg for a moment.

“Wait a minute… I definitely didn’t add that part…” She finally tracked a tiny piece of metal that hadn’t been there before. She was sure about it, because she had seen so much trouble building this particular automail.

“Edward Elric! When have you seen another mechanic?!”

Winry didn’t even understand why exactly she was so upset about this, but she knew she hated the idea of someone who didn’t even know her fiddling with /her/ automail, her pride and joy. Her eyes were burning with anger, and Ed wondered if he had any way to get away from this situation in one piece. He stuttered as he decided to give her an honest answer:

“I-it was… before our wedding… When I was on a brief visit to Creta… I… I thought you were so busy that you wouldn’t… you wouldn’t have time to check it with all the wedding preparations going on, and… I happened to see this automail shop, and… had them check it…”

He didn’t have a chance to explain himself more when Winry started yelling.

“HOW DARE YOU?”

She took a couple of ragged breaths, and Ed lifted his hands to protect his head in case she had a wrench with her. It never came, though.

“DON’T YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT AUTOMAIL IS TO ME? DON’T YOU KNOW…” She hesitated for a moment, “THAT IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO ME BECAUSE IT’S /YOUR’S/? Don’t you…?”

Even though Winry cried a lot in Ed’s opinion, she was usually able to finish her raging without breaking down. But not this time. She didn’t seem to have any control over her emotions anymore, so her only solution was to run from the kitchen. She found herself from the nearest room she could lock, which happened to be the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, and cried. Cried for much longer than she thought was necessary.

It really hadn’t been that big a deal, the voice of reason inside her said. From what she had seen, the foreign mechanic hadn’t done much besides cleaning some dirty parts, oiling, changing a slightly rusty iron plate into a better one and adding that one piece that was apparently supposed to protect the wires… Why was she reacting so badly?

Exactly at that moment, Winry started feeling slight pain in her stomach. Maybe her period was coming, she reasoned. That would explain a lot.

Wait a second, another thought occurred to her. The period. How long had it been since her last one? She kept a small calendar in the bathroom to mark her days, and now she reached for it, freezing when she found what she was looking for. It had been nearly two months.

She and Ed hadn’t talked about the possibility of pregnancy much. Sure, it had come up once or twice when they had been talking about their future, and Ed had said he’d be willing to have kids when the time was right. But was that time yet? They had only lived in their own house for a little while… They were only getting used to living together, just the two of them… Were they ready for this big a change? She would have to take some time off from mechanics, and Ed wouldn’t be able to travel as much… How would he react? Would he be ready to change the diapers, calm the screaming child down in the middle of the night, and so on, when it was his turn to do that?

Winry’s thoughts were stopped by a sudden wave of nausea. She tried to find a reason for it, and she figured it got its start from the smell of Ed’s soap that was still lingering in the air after the bath he’d taken before the dinner. Thankfully, the young woman was already in the bathroom because otherwise she might not have made it in time. The dinner she had just eaten was soon just a memory, and she made a mental note to not make spicy chicken for herself in a long while. After finally finishing throwing up and drinking some water to clean her mouth, she started shaking instead; her nausea was even a bigger proof that her suspicions were right.

“Shit… what will I tell him?”

After taking a deep breath and shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she remembered she had purchased a pregnancy test soon after the wedding, just in case, and it was waiting in their bedroom. The only problem was that she was still feeling so sick that she wasn’t sure if it was a smart thing to do to get it by herself. At least the test was in a bag, so Ed wouldn’t necessarily have to see it if she told him to get it…  And if he did check what’s in the bag, well, she would have to tell him at some point anyway.

“Hey Ed,” Winry whimpered with a weak voice, hoping he’d hear.

“Yes?” Ed, who had rushed to the bathroom after hearing her voice, asked, surprised about the change in her tone. Only a moment before she had been so angry about the automail…

“I’m not… feeling well… There’s a bag from the pharmacy that has some, um, medicine, in our room, in the top drawer of my desk… Could you please get it for me?”

“Oh, ok… Of course!” he promised and disappeared from the doorway.

After what was only a minute but felt like an hour to the nervous girl, he got back with the bag in his hand. It was obvious he hadn’t seen what was in it, because otherwise he wouldn’t have been this calm. Now he just handed the bag to the girl, biting his lip worriedly, and Winry pushed him out of the room, locking the door behind her.

If she was wrong after all, she would not have him freak out over nothing.

She did what the package instructed her to do, and then there was nothing else to do but wait. Those minutes felt agonizingly long, and a couple of times Ed tried to talk to her, asking what was wrong, but she couldn’t answer. She just stared at the stick nervously, and finally, her pocket watch told her it was time. She took the test in her hand, and…

Two lines.

Winry let out a sob, although this time it was mostly out of relief (mood swings, she realized), because now she at least knew it was true. She really was going to be a mother! Having totally forgotten about the automail argument with Ed, she even played with the thought of Ed playing with the child, smiling radiantly as he taught the kid some basics of alchemy, and the kid smiled back at him with those equally golden eyes. She quickly shook her head, though, it was not good to let that kind of thoughts fill her head before she even knew how he would react. Now she’d have to figure out how to break the news…

In her mind she had always had this image that when she was one day going to tell Ed about her possible pregnancy, she’d have an apple pie baked for him, maybe with a text “congrats, dad!” or something else that would reveal the news to him. But of course nothing in their relationship went like planned. She knew that once she’d get out of the bathroom, Ed would “attack” her and somehow manage to make her slip it, because he simply had that effect on her. Winry hated lying or keeping secrets from him. She took a deep breath and braced herself to face the inevitable, hoping for the best.

Ed was waiting for her right outside the bathroom, and before she even had a chance to open her mouth, he asked: “What was all that about?”

“Ed…”

“By the way, I’m sorry about the automail. I promise I won’t ever do that again if it really means that much to you…” he blurted out before she could give him an answer. He absolutely hated seeing his wife crying, so, if promising this would make her happy…

“I couldn’t care less anymore,” Winry responded quietly, and Ed began rambling something she couldn’t even hear because her mind was too occupied by the news she was about the break.

“EDWARD ELRIC! Could you listen to me for one moment?!”

She had his attention now.

“You wanted to know what’s wrong with me, didn’t you?”

“Of course!”

“Well, here it comes.”

She closed her eyes and said with a voice that didn’t even seem to belong to her:

“I’m pregnant.”

There. It was out now. The situation definitely wasn’t ideal, but it was too late to change that.

“You’re… what?!”

“Pregnant, you stupid. Expecting a child.”

She couldn’t have found a more effective way to make Edward quiet. He was simply staring at her, his mouth forming the biggest “o” she had ever seen.

“Please, say something…” Winry pleaded when he still didn’t say a thing.

“Fuck, Winry…”

“Excuse me? That’s really the first thing you have to say about this?” She sighed at her dense husband.

“I mean…” his face suddenly melted into the happiest smile Winry had ever seen on his face. “That’s… fucking awesome!!! How… When… What…?” He didn’t know where to start from.

“If you are trying to ask when it happened, I think it might have been the day when we left Xing… Or on the train back home… Or when we were back in our new house… Seriously, at this point, who knows,” she said mischievously. “But I just took the test two minutes ago, so we still need a doctor’s confirmation… However, I’d say that’s there’s no chance that I’m not pregnant.”

“Wow.” Ed repeated over and over again.

“I hope that’s a good ‘wow’.” Winry rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t help but smile at how dumbfounded and amazed her husband was at that moment.

“It is! I just… wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon… Are we ready for it?” Ed asked the question that had been in Winry’s mind too. Seeing that Ed was taking this so well, she got more confidence to reassure her husband:

“Umm… Back when we had just gotten together, and Granny had the talk with me… you know, that one… she may or may not have slipped that she’s totally expecting grandchildren one day. I asked her: ‘how do you know you are ready for that, to have a child?’ and she simply said: “no one’s truly ready when it happens for the first time. You just do it anyway.” So, if she’s right, and she usually is, it means that we might not be ready quite yet, but we can do it, either way.”

“But what if… what if I do something stupid? Like my idiot father?” Ed asked, and from his expression Winry could tell he was completely serious.

‘Hohenheim’s absence must have hurt him even harder than I thought’, she noted sadly in her head.

Aloud she asked, getting angry at his self-doubt: “Why would you even ask that?”

“I hate to admit it, but I /am/ a lot like him… So what if I just… leave you guys one day or something?”

“Edward. I’ve known you my entire life, and I know you would never do such a thing. You know how much it hurts the child… Besides… You know he had a very good reason for doing it. Without his help, there wouldn’t be Amestris anymore. So… if you ever need to save the world again after the baby is born… I think we can forgive you.” Winry gave him a small smile and pulled him into a hug.

“Based on the years of knowing you, I can tell that you are gonna be an awesome father,” Winry said tenderly as Ed returned the hug and rubbed her back. “You are that person who isn’t good at showing his feelings – and that’s OK, Ed, I’m not forcing you into anything – but who actually cares far deeper than you’d like to admit. I can tell from your smile that you already love that baby.”

“Am I that easily readable?” Ed faked slightly irritated, but in reality, he was moved by Winry’s words.

“Sometimes you are. Well, to me, anyway.” she laughed.

“Win?” he mumbled against her soft hair.

“Yeah?”

Ed had never been good with words - that trait had skipped him, and Al had gotten it instead - but what he said next came from some place deep in him that he had discovered only after finally getting together with Winry.

“When it comes to you… you’ll be the best mother my child could ever have.”

Despite being on the verge of happy tears thanks to Ed’s words, Winry couldn’t help but tease him a bit: “Awww, Ed. When have you become such a softie?”

“I guess I have my moments. But please don’t tell that to Coloner Bastard. I wouldn’t hear the end of it.”

“You have my word… But I may ask for some favors in return.” Her eye twinkled in a way that suggested Ed that he would enjoy these “favors”.

“I think I can deal with that.” He gave her a cheeky grin in response, and tightened his grip of her slightly.

“Oh good, I was getting worried you’d get bored of me,” Winry teased and poked him lightly on the nose.

“No, not a chance.” Ed stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m gonna get fat and swollen though… Will you love me even then?” the future mother asked with some worry in her voice.

“For such a smart woman you can be quite dumb sometimes.”

“Hey! Watch what you are saying to a pregnant woman.”

“… Because there’s no way I’d change my mind about that for something so silly. You’re carrying our baby. If something, that’s a reason to love you double as much.”

Ed’s cheeks were burning red from his confession, but he was glad he managed to say it. Winry rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek, and buried her face on his shoulder happily.

“Even at the risk of sounding like even a bigger sap…” he added, “it’s really amazing. That you and I have managed to create something alchemy never can.”

“I was expecting you to pull that card out soon,” Winry sighed, but her face turned into a bright smile quickly. Ed’s excitement over the baby had exceeded even her wildest expectations.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her husband finally pulled away from the hug and was now glancing at her with a smile as bright as hers on his face.

“Win? Can I touch it?”

“There’s only a tiny, tiny bean there, Ed, not much to feel,” she laughed, but gave him a nod and he put his hand on her stomach under her shirt.

“It’s our mini Elric… Transmuted by us…” Winry had to resist the urge to elbow the man husband (how dare he make alchemy jokes about their baby?), but soon he gave her something else to think about: “Oh, we are gonna have to decide its name at some point too.”

“That is going to be an interesting conversation, I’m sure…” Knowing Ed’s style it would probably be something… unconventional, Winry thought. “But maybe we should go to see that doctor before that. There’s also so much we need to get and do before it’s here…”

“We’ll have a plenty of time to do that,” Ed stopped her. “I want you to take it easy… for the baby.”

“I will try. Oh and by the way,” she finally remembered, “I believe we didn’t finish that automail conversation quite yet…”

“Oh?”

“I believe you said something about not letting it happen again. Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

They entwined their fingers and Ed sealed his promise with a soft kiss that made Winry forget he had ever allowed anyone else touch /her/ automail. With the kiss he also tried to let her know he’d always be there for her and the baby. Both future parents knew there would be many obstacles on the way, both before and after the child was born, but they would make it, just like they always had.