#someone mentioned the cones getting names so here you go

[swordy-da-goat]

[thesummerpetrichor]

𝓥𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓸 𝓰𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼

Dads best friend!Javier Peña x afab!reader

Summary: For years he’d lived in your head like a distant memory. Something too good, too far away to attain. You shouldn’t be so hurt he’d left his old life behind, but how could you not be, when you had been such a big part of it? But you can’t hold a grudge. Not when he’s standing in front of you– doing everything to prove he’s not a stranger.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, dads best friend trope, morally questionable relationship, minor angst, chunky age gap [reader is in her 20s Javi is in his 40s], banter, lotsa sweet moments, explicit language, explicit sexual content, couch sex, inebriated sex, cigarette and weed smoking, alcohol, dom!javi, sub!reader, pet names [cariño, baby, babygirl etc.], dirty talk, major praise kink! [lotsa good girl action iykwim] some over the clothes action, grinding, fingering, unprotected P in V [ do better!!]. Let me know if I missed anything!! <;3

Word count: 12.8k oops

A/N: Oof this took longer than I thought it would but I’m so excited for you to read it. Javier is the man of my dreams here 🥺. lotsa porn for you nasties. morally questionable relationship fr but it’s fiction so we’ll forgive Javi. I hope you darlings enjoy! Mwah 💗

Masterlist

Swinging in the backyard

Pull up in your fast car

Whistling my name

Open up a beer

And you say, "Get over here

And play a video game"

The last time you saw him you remember all but tackling him to the ground as he walked through your front door. He had bought you a special edition copy of your favourite Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale, and DVDs of ‘film noir’ movies– the kind your dad didn’t like you watching. You spent the days reading as he smoked cigars by your pool, and you remember your father joking about his ‘bad influence’ as he poured you drinks in the evenings. 

That was several years ago, and now all you had left of him was a hazy memory of that distant summer, a fading image of his golden eyes glittering in the setting sun, and your copy of “The Little Mermaid”. That had been the last that he’d visited you– before his work got in the way, before he decided he’d rather stay in Bogotá than come home. 

Your life had gone on, and while every year you wondered whether he’d make his grand appearance, as you grew older you came to terms with the realisation that it would just be you and your old man lounging on the patio on those treasured, warm, golden evenings. At university you were pursuing those dreams you always wanted to, the ones your father wasn’t so keen on you chasing, the ones you’d confess to him when he would drive you around the city–  to that faraway ice cream place no one else would take you to. 

He was all cigarettes and whiskey and secret promises.

“He’ll literally kill us, it's midnight.” It was too late, he was grabbing his keys and jacket, and despite your better judgement the thought of the fairy lights by the beach as you walked with your mint chocolate chip cones had you giggling as you followed him out the door. It was your 18th birthday. “He doesn’t need to know now, does he, cariño?” 

He’d telephone your father once in a while, you knew because your house would fill with laughter only invoked by one culprit. You wondered what adventures he was on, were they like the ones he’d tell you as you sat by his side till the early hours of the morning? You wondered if he even remembered– remembered you. 

But now you were in Bogotá, in the sweltering June heat, suitcase in hand, scanning the crowd for a face you barely remembered. You were scared, stupidly so, worried that your physical proximity would do nothing to mend his distance. You worried he wouldn't see you as he did before, wouldn't remember your inside jokes, your mischief, how you’d beg him to take you to that dance bar because your dad didn’t like you going alone. That he had somehow morphed into someone you couldn't recognize. You felt hot all over once again, and this time no thanks to the summer sun. 

Your head turned left to right, and you spotted among the crowd families reuniting, couples kissing hello, young people returning home, lone travellers, lonely travellers, and in the hustle bustle a black leather jacket walking briskly towards you. He looked older, and tired, but his eyes still sparkled the way you remembered, still turned golden when they met the sun. From the distance he spotted you, and you watched expectantly as his furrowed brows relaxed into a calm, almost surprised expression. You felt a little short of breath, felt suddenly larger than life, as he neared you, your mind spinning and hoping, praying that he was still the man you knew. 

“What have you done with my cariño?” 

He was looking down at you with that same smile. Everything about him was really the same. He still smelt like tobacco and cedarwood perfume, still wore the same leather jacket, the same faded, button up shirt– with the first two buttons undone. In a moment you felt your mind's eye reconstruct those waning images of him you once cherished, from the dells of memory. And now you saw him vividly, reclining in his chair, sipping his whiskey, leaning on your porch, hair falling in his face in soft curls as he lit his cigarette. 

He was a lot more handsome than you recalled. 

“Hi” You were smiling so wide your face hurt, and despite the years of his absence there was a familiarity you found comfort in, a sense of belonging, and maybe naively… longing. His hands moved to grab you by the shoulders, and he stepped back to get a good look at you, almost examining how time had passed. “Lookat’ ya, university girl now huh, smart cookie?” The way he looked at you had your heart pitter pattering– with so much pride, and gentleness, and adoration. 

Without any hesitation he pulled you into his chest, wrapping you up in his arms, holding your head against him. Waves of calm washed over you, an immediate reassurance you were desperate for. It was his non reluctance, his lack of worry, the way he brought you into his arms like nothing else mattered.  With a heavy sigh you collapsed into him, all the uneasiness you felt before melting away as you melted into his touch. He felt warm, and strong, and like you’d remembered. 

He was everything you’d remembered. 

You felt yourself relax. It had been a long day, a long time getting away from your father, who, despite the fact that you had been living alone for years now, had called you about a thousand times – reminding you to take all your things, to be careful, and importantly to not get into any trouble. 

If there was one thing everyone knew about Javier, it was that he was trouble, trouble, trouble. 

He was still smiling when he gently pulled away, still looking at you with the same enthusiasm. He was happy to see you. He chuckled as he let go of your shoulders, and you felt your chest swarm with butterflies when he grabbed you by the hand and twirled you around, and in typical Javier fashion produced a white lily from his shirt pocket, and tucked it behind your ear. 

“Welcome to Bogotá cariño” 

You felt your cheeks heat. For as long as you could remember you pretty much idolised him, and the longer you didn’t see him the more distant and adored he had become.  You had worked that distant memory up so much, the memory of that fateful summer, that he’d come to be a symbol of fear and dread in your head. At least until that moment.

You felt silly for ever thinking he’d be different. And there he was, standing right in front of you, putting flowers behind your ear. You mumbled a soft thank you, securing the lily, which was inadvertently an excuse not to meet his overwhelming gaze. 

“Your old man give you a hard time on the way up?”  

You laughed as you rolled your eyes. If there was one person who knew how much of a stickler for organisation and responsibility your father was, it was him. “He gave me an entire list of things to not do”. Javier’s deep baritone joined your laughter, and he shook his head in faux irritation at the mention of his best friend. 

Reaching down for your bags he leaned beside your ear, and you felt your heart race when you turned your head ever so slightly to meet his gaze– at that glimmer in his eyes, his mischievous smile, and raised brow. 

“Well, he’s no fun now, is he?” 

And with that he was heading towards the exit. 

—

I'm in his favourite sundress

Watchin' me get undressed

Take that body downtown

I say, "You the bestest"

Lean in for a big kiss

Put his favourite perfume on

Go play your video game

“He says I'm like you, y’know?” You leaned your elbow on the open window, knees to your chest as you sat curled up in the passenger seat of his car. His eyes were on the road, but his attention remained on you, and you were instantaneously reminded of your trips to the pier, your mint chocolate chip ice creams, and innocent secrets. 

You felt warm and fuzzy inside, and your eyes wandered the beautiful Colombian city –the colours, and the smell of summer flowers, and food as it wafted out of the mom and pop restaurants you passed. 

“Yeah, you a troublemaker?” He glanced at you momentarily, just in time to catch you rolling your eyes. “”M not, but he thinks Dora’s wreckless for wandering around without her parents.`` His laugh was hearty and he had that smile, that tilt of his head you were sure had all the women around him swooning. You felt your cheeks heat at the thought, especially when he chided you. “Cariño” he dragged out every syllable of that treasured pet name, shaking his head, and raising his brows in your direction, teasingly. “Okay.. maybe I like to have a little fun, but I’m still not like you.” 

Letting out an exaggerated gasp his head whipped towards you. “Fuck’s that supposed to mean?!” Your head was buzzing, he's still the same, the same. 

“I’m good.” He rounded the corner, and you couldn’t help but wonder who else had been in the passenger side of his car, getting this view you so cherished. You didn’t know why you cared, or why you were even wondering in the first place. It wasn’t any of your business, but somewhere deep down it made your heart ache. 

“I know you are honey.. Thought your dad was gonna’ have a fuckin’ heart attack when he called me.” You could only imagine. The poor man. The thought of him persuading Javier to convince you to stay with him for the sake of his peace of mind making you giggle. 

“Can you blame him? It was either you or Maria, and somehow you're the better of the two evils.” When you decided to come to Bogotá you originally planned to stay with one of your  close friends from university. She had offered you a room in her apartment for as long as you needed. The both of you had applied for the same summer program, and were looking forward to spending your vacation together. That was before you confessed that a certain somebody also lived in Bogotá. A somebody you weren’t initially keen on meeting again. Somebody you had planned to avoid at any cost during your stay. 

You weren’t really sure why– if you wanted to keep him away out of spite, or convenience, or fear, but all you did know was that when Maria had practically forced you to ask your dad to give Javier a call you were nothing short of petrified. She would not let it go, even said you’d regret not meeting him, better yet staying with him after how much you’d talked him up in the time you knew her. She was so confident she placed a bet you’d give up her house for his in less than forty eight hours. 

“I’m a cop, I’m the obvious choice here cariño” His confidence was charming. He was deceptively charming. 

“Yeah. A terrible one.” 

“Was a little shocked you wanted to see me..” sometimes you really thought he could read your mind. Not just in that moment, in fact he had a habit of hitting on right whatever you were thinking about, whatever was bothering you, things you felt you couldn’t tell anyone else because they wouldn’t understand. You were not sure if and how you wanted to respond, and if you did honestly whether he would know how much the whole situation had preoccupied you. 

“Strictly practical. Wanted to see if you remembered me..” 

“‘Course I remember you, been haunting me like a little ghost since I last visited..”. you thought you might just explode at his teasing. You asked yourself if he was being truthful, if he truly thought about you, about how he’d up and left. 

“You’re the one that disappeared into thin air!” Undeniably, despite the laughter and banter there was a tension in the air– floating between the two of you heavy and low. But what was he expecting?  

Thankfully, the car came to a slow and gradual stop at the side of a small side street, where you spotted a small glass door over which flowers blooming from the floor above had been cascading. “Where are we?” 

“Mint chocolate chip”  One hand on the wheel, the other grabbing his keys, he looked at you as he spoke, so matter of factly it made your heart flutter. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “No pier, or fairy lights though, and no thrill of running from your papa.” 

He remembered. 

Heart bursting with love ache, you weren’t really sure what to say. As if he had anticipated your fears he seemed like he was coaxing you into your natural rhythm. Reminding you he wasn’t some stranger whose house you were staying in out of convenience. That you knew him, and that he knew you, remembered you. 

“Thank god for the last one..” The memory fluttered between you two– the same thoughts, hovering between your heads. He was opening the door, taking a quick check of the traffic. You stayed put, finding your bearings. With one hand extended he beckoned you towards him, offering his arm when you hopped out the car on wobbly feet.  “Oh hush, you loved it, cariño. And he knew, I told him the next day.”

With locked arms you crossed the street, and as if no time had passed you had squished yourself to his side, and had smacked him against the shoulder lightly at his admission. “What?! Traitor!” 

“I handled it.” He sounded quite impressed with himself, and when you tilted your head and locked eyes with him you noticed how he looked quite impressed as well. You pressed your cheek against his arm, the leather of his jacket brushing against your warm cheeks.

“You were always the fun one.”

A large ‘OPEN’ sign stared you blank in the face, that was until Javier had gently tucked a finger under your chin, and delicately directed your eyes towards him. “He’s your dad, ‘s not supposed to be the fun one..” he softly remarked, his smile remained, and you felt nothing but warmth, and comfort from his presence. 

The moment fell naturally, and he reached forward to pull the door open for you, letting skip ahead of him and into the store.  “Feels like my 18th all over again.” 

—

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?

“You're the boss Peña, give me the word, and it’s done.” You caught Javier’s reflection in the mirror as you sat down to get ready. Fresh out the shower it took about three seconds for the summer heat to get back at you. He liked to keep his place freezing, and at times like that you could only be grateful– the cool air soothing your scorched skin. 

Carillo, Murphy– you could recognize the voices as they bounced off the wall, the same men you’d met when they barged into his home unceremoniously at six in the morning. You would have preferred to meet them in actual clothes rather than your pyjamas, and maybe outside instead of infront of your concerningly large cup of coffee, but they seemed to be used to finding unexpected guests in Javier’s apartment early in the morning. 

Regardless of the fact that they’d interrupted your quiet breakfast with Javier, they were really nice people. Carillo’s wife even sent some snacks over with him the next time he visited. One because she wanted you to try the local food, and two because “Javier had nothing in his kitchen.” 

“I will. soon as that dick Stechner gets out of my fuckin’ way” reaching to put you necklace on you watched as Javier moved out of your field of vision for a quick moment, returning with a glass filled with ice and an ashtray. What were they talking about? You never really asked about his job, you'd tried to talk him out of it many times, but he never budged. One day he hated it, one day he didn’t. 

What he was like at work was a point of endless curiosity for you– he just seemed so different. If you were being honest he seemed like an asshole. In the few times you’d seen him interact with his partners he’d barely cracked a smile, trading in his joking and teasing for curt jabs or looks of disapproval. He also admittedly liked ordering people around, telling them what to do. His phone rang about five thousand times a day, and each answered call was punctuated with an air of control, indifference, and the steady and constant confidence of a man who knew what the hell he was doing. And did not like to be questioned about it. The only people who seemed to break the ice were the two he was speaking to at that moment. 

“Javi, think this one through, don’t be fuckin crazy.” The voices drowned out as you put your attention back to getting ready. Maria was right. By the time you called her the evening of your arrival you had abandoned all plans to escape Javier's home for hers. She was in hysterics, endlessly pulling your leg over the whole situation. Your overthinking, your panic, your regret, and most obviously your complete infatuation. 

She had picked you up the next morning, and had impersonated you the entire ride to the university. You hoped that you didn’t sound the way she said you did when you spoke of him, that you weren’t all heart eyes. It only made you worried about what you sounded like when you spoke to him. 

With your bag tucked under your arm you grabbed your shoes off the floor, heading towards the dining table. “You got work this evening?” you were hoping he didn’t. His eyes lifted off his work to watch you shuffle around the small kitchen.  Opening the fridge you grabbed a bottle of chilled water, and leaned against the closed door as you spoke. 

“Depends if they call me in, they’re tracking some radio signals so we’re sitting tight till then.” He was leaning back in his chair in absolute exhaustion. Knowing that his day started around seven thirty, and never seemed to end, you didn't blame him. The few days you had been staying at his place he’d join you for dinner and be right back to work in a second. This job of his pretty much consumed him, and judging by his commitment you understood why he had no time for anyone or anything else. The guy was practically married to his job. His job and his co-workers, that is. You wouldn’t be surprised if Murphy and Carillo’s wives were envious of how much quality time Javier got to spend with their husbands. 

“So you’re staying up until they get back to you?” You didn't mean to sound so perplexed, but you were. Mostly at how unpredictable his hours were. Did he really want to leave the quiet, laid back life at home for whatever this was? He crossed his arms over his chest, and spoke to you in between puffs of his cigarette. 

“Yes, cariño, I'm in my forties, dont got a bedtime.”  The man could barely keep his eyes open, and when he lifted his glass to his lips you felt a little better about ditching him for your fun night out. Of course you wanted to sit with him, have him talk about everything under the sun, like he used to, but you didn’t want to be another thing he had to worry about. 

You barely got to speak to him outside meal times. If he stayed home, safe to say he’d be preoccupied, and if he didn’t it would be just you, and the white noise in his empty apartment, like it had been for the past four nights you had been there. 

The man looked like he needed a cup of tea. You reached for the kettle, pushing it on and leaning against the closed fridge door. “They tell you that at the old people's home?” Grabbing your buzzing phone off the counter you moved towards his surprisingly organised kitchen drawers, in which there was little besides some tea bags, coffee beans, jam, canned fruits and bars of candy. That combined with the eggs, bread and milk in his fridge came to make an almost comical representation of what most people would consider a bachelor's desolate pantry. 

Your eyes shifted to the illuminated screen of your phone, an unread message staring back at you. 

Maria: Leaving in five &lt;3

As you took the bubbling kettle off the burner you made a mental note, reaching for a cup, and a tea bag from the unopened box of earl grey you were pretty certain Javier did not buy for himself, rather became the owner of thanks to one of the nice old ladies who lived opposite him. 

“Somones in a mood today huh?” It was then you realised he had abandoned his work to watch you trudge around his kitchen barefoot in your little party outfit, one hand rested on his chin, one leg crossed over the other as he leant back in his wooden dining table chair. 

The teabag bobbed in the steaming water a couple of times, before you were pulling it out and tossing it in the trash. You grabbed his blue mug by the handle– some generic, machine made ceramic devoid of any personality, something you’d probably find in a show home. It looked like it had always been sitting on his kitchen shelf, only seeing the light of day every once in a while when he ditched his liquor cabinet for the coffee machine on the far end of the counter. Knowing him that wasn’t often.

“I'm kidding .”

“Well cariño I was thinking we could go to the dance bar tomorrow, but now I guess I'll have to stay home and rest my old knees.” He looked so surprised when you placed the mug in front of him, rested on a white paper napkin. It was almost like he had expected you to make it for yourself. The chair made a slight squeak against the floor as you pulled it back and took a seat, pulling his glass, now lined with the slight golden residue of whiskey, towards you. He was still surprised, a little taken back even, but not in offence, rather a tender, grateful smile tugged at his lips. 

“Since when do you dance?” With your focus no longer split between tasks you turned back to the conversation at hand. Making sure to emphasise you remembered just how uncharacteristic Javier’s little suggestion was. 

He took a sip of the earl grey, leaning forward and letting his shoulders fall ever so slightly. The glimmer of a distant memory played in his eyes as he met your gaze.“I don’t. But you do.” Your little reminiscence played in the back of your head like a movie reel, the soft sound of music from the dance bar by your house hanging in the air. As if transported into a distant dream you could see clusters of people twirling and dancing with the beat, like little ghosts behind Javier as he spoke. 

“And who am I going to dance with” When you said those words out loud you meant for them to sound a whole lot more utilitarian than they ended up sounding. Whether it was hope, or some odd suggestion you were in no mood to unpack where from deep in your subconscious that had come. All you could wish for is that he didn’t notice. 

“Plenty of people at the bar who’d love to dance with my darling.” And there it was, that answer you dreaded, delivered with that signature smile, with that warm, twinkling light in his eyes. “You don't have work tomorrow?” unable to bear the thought you moved along to more practical matters. 

He was already halfway through that cup of tea, and like his body was in the middle of some sort of spiritual cleanse you could see him resurface somewhat coherent and with eyes that weren’t half as dead as they were two minutes ago.“‘S friday, need the time off. Besides, I'd kick myself if I didn't make good on your time here. These fuckers still gonna be around when youre gone.” Sometimes you wondered if he was talking more to himself than he was to you. 

You felt a little buzzing in your purse, and you rummaged through it to find your phone. A text from Maria reminding you you needed to leave. “Yeah, you're gonna sit at the bar like a senior citizen while I have some fun?” 

Rising from your seat you searched the room for the last of your things. Notwithstanding the lack of time he had put into making the place home there were still small elements of him scattered throughout that little two bedroom. The fresh flowers in a glass vase on his centre table, framed pictures and art he’d been collecting over the years, small artefacts he’d brought back from his travels. It was so odd, the whole place stood suspended somewhere between home and a place far from it. Familiar yet distant. 

“Hey, they’ve got great drinks.”

He finished the last of his tea, and you picked up his mug and set it in the kitchen sink, running it under the tap water for a quick second to rinse it. Truth be told, you just wanted to sit and chat, and if half heartedly doing the dishes was going to give you a few more minutes with him you’d take it.“Don’t get too excited old man, I'm not driving us home.”

“I can take a few cariño, ‘m not like you.” You travelled to where you’d dropped your heels. 

“Slander.” pausing momentarily in the middle of putting on your shoes you lifted your head to find him looking back at you. His eyes had seemingly followed you all the way behind him, and he was still smiling. Had you not had one hand on his couch holding you in place you just might have tumbled over.  

“You be careful tonight, and don’t walk anywhere alone, especially if it's past ten. I know you– can't even read a damn map, so no wandering around, call me.” It looked like he had already given up on you, one hand rushing to his face to rub his tired eyes, the other plastered to the table. He was shaking his head the way he did when he caught you sneaking out your house one summer. 

“I’ll think about it.” of course you were going to call him, you didn't need an excuse. But you liked to see him all agitated, bossing you around like you knew he liked to do. With everyone, that is.

“No no, you're gonna call me when you get there, and you're gonna call me when you leave, and you're gonna tell me exactly how, and with whom you're gettin back.” You were already at the door, hoping to escape him, but he was yelling your name in that exasperated voice, and you heard him shuffle from his seat to stand up– catch you and drag you back in case that was necessary. 

“But-” Turning to meet his peering form over the wall of his living room you parted your lips, attempting to protest, playfully, but still protest, but he wasn't having any excuses. 

He was doing that thing where he looked at you with his soft eyes, slightly downturned, and the look could convince you to do just about anything, made you feel like you’d rather die than let them down. Anybody else’s nagging would have got you on your last nerve, but you only felt warmth, concern and care when he did it. Hell he could throw you off his roof and you’d still think the same. 

“No buts, no excuses. Thats final” You giggled, half because he sounded so much like a boring old man, and half because he was now leaning against the wall, with the top buttons of his shirt undone, and his hands on his hips, hair dishevelled from when he’d combed his fingers through it. 

“You sound like him..” With brows raised you looked at him expectantly, taunting him with your teases, and you nearly jumped out the door when he walked towards you, ready to grab you back to him as you escaped. Any insult was better than being compared to your dad, especially in this context. “Don't you say that, cariño” He was laughing, and you were laughing, and his otherwise quiet apartment building was now singing with an uncharacteristic gleam, a glow, a gaiety. 

Your shoes clicked against the floors as you scurried away, turning one last time to see him leaning against his door frame, shaking his head as he watched you skip into the night. “I don't make the rules old man”. You heard him chuckle behind you as you ‘sing songed’ your words, your heart fluttering when you noticed he waited for you to get outside before he closed his front door. 

–

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And, baby, now you do

“Thought I told you not to wander around alone, cariño.” You jumped, but it was too late, he had wrapped you up in his arms, and you were pressed up against his chest, and his voice was a low whisper in your ear. And you were dizzy. The alcohol in your system only partly responsible for your petrified squeak, wavering voice, and the way you swayed gently in his embrace. But when he kissed the top of your head ever so gently you could only giggle, recognising that warm hold, that faint smell of whisky on his shirt. 

“Psycho, you scared the shit outta me.” He was laughing when you turned around, exhausted, defeated almost, but his eyes were gleaming in the moonlight, and you felt yourself all but swoon at the way he was looking down at you.  “You’re lucky I'm the only psycho you ran into” Grabbing your face in his hands each word he spoke was punctuated with hyperbole, and a teasing disbelief. Your own hands shot up to grab his, and your cold palms thawed at the touch. You were sure you felt your heartbeat in your throat when his thumbs brushed the swell of your cheeks, you were sure he could feel the way they grew hot under his rough hands. “Just came out for a smoke, don’t go into cardiac arrest now” your fallen cigarette crumpled under your foot when you stepped on it, and in the midst of your eye roll you watched as he stepped back to look at you in faux disapproval. 

“Look at ya’, terrible.” He motioned his head towards the trampled butt on the ground below you. “Me? Terrible?” When you closed the distance between the both of you you stepped on it again, hearing it crush under your shoes, and shoved his shoulder playfully, poking his chest with your pointer finger. “Drinking on the job again old man?” Then he laughed again, this time at your playful yet truthful accusation, and the sound made you feel lighter than a feather. How could one person be so charming, so charismatic, at one in the morning? Like he was divulging a trade secret he raised his brow. “Keeps me awake.”

The blaring music in the club was muffled in the distance as you walked towards the steps of the church in front of you, the quiet and empty street echoing your footsteps. He walked beside you, kept you close on that pleasant summer night. When you turned your head your eyes caught a group of men huddled by a small food stall at the side of the street, hunched over some beers, smoking cigarettes. In the crowd there were two familiar faces. Steve was dressed casually, Carillo and the others in military fatigues. You wondered why he wasn’t walking in their direction, but judging by the look on their faces you concluded there would probably be a better time to do so. Besides, you weren't complaining, he was enough, he always was. 

They shot you a half hearted wave, and two strained smiles from across the road. 

Taking a seat you pat the stone ground beside you, watching as he looked around, almost willing someone to come into sight, one foot on the steps leading up to the cathedral entrance, wringing his hands. “What’re you doing here anyway?” You wondered what he had done that evening, but you knew you were better off not asking. You were glad to have bumped into him, and the last thing you wanted to do in your giggly half tipsy mood was have him explain something you were sure would keep you up at night. Not when he had that look on his face, his work look. 

“Waitin’ on an informant, but someone fucked up and well, we’re back at square one.” he was still searching the street when he bent down to sit beside you, so close your knees bumped. 

You felt your heart race a little when he pulled out what looked like a joint he had rolled moments ago from his shirt pocket, when he leaned back on his arm, lit it and looked up at the sky as he took a drag. You wondered if in your little emotional panic, your worry of his disappearance you had blocked out the memory of his striking, handsome face. You wondered if he had always been this beautiful, this captivating, everything he did set you on fire, the way he carried himself. 

“Smoke a lotta weed for a DEA agent.” 

He turned his head towards you, letting it fall lazily in your direction, and his hair fell in his face the way it did all those years ago, and he shot you that smile that felt like home. “Been a long day cariño”. He was looking back to the sky, but your eyes didn't leave him. He looked so tragic in the moonlight, half lit by its platinum glow. You weren’t sure if it was the liquid courage, or the fact that his shoulder looked more inviting than ever, or the fact that a cool breeze just blew by, and you shivered as it brushed your shoulder, but you leaned your head against him, and you felt your tummy erupt with butterflies when he placed a lingering kiss to your forehead. It was forbearing, and merciful, and you wondered if he had somehow noticed your girlish fawning, your silly admiration, and your heart dropped momentarily, but was soon resuscitated by his soft laughter. 

“Remember those cigarettes of mine you'd steal back in the day.” The breeze had picked up, and it’s cool was far more jarring when it kissed your hot cheeks. “‘S’not stealing… you knew.” you closed your eyes, and let yourself get lost in that comfortable memory. “yeah , could've told your papa” He was looking down at you, but you kept your eyes ahead, too intimidated to meet his gaze. 

“Didn’t” 

“Should’ve” His voice was a mumble beside you, and you found yourself thinking about your dad for the first time in a while, and you were instantly reminded the man you were so taken up by was his best friend, and almost twice your age, and saw you as nothing more than his buddy’s daughter. You stiffened against him. 

He took another drag of his joint. “If he was here right now his blood pressure would be through the roof”. A cold breeze tickled your skin, and he rubbed your shoulder gently and despite the murmured chatter in your head you couldn’t help but melt into his touch. 

“Darling, I can't believe you've been out this long.” He was laughing, and his horrible impression had you in a similar state. Conflict bubbled in your chest, each word slipping past his lips reminded you of your relationship, of your dad, and what he would think if he could peek inside your head, at your little thoughts. You felt guilty, but how could you hold that feeling? Not when he was shaking with joy beside you, not when he had his arm around you the way he did, not when you were tucked into his side, shielded from the winds. 

“You smell like a dingy bar” It felt so natural, your regular routine, the way it had always been, when your dad would say something funny, or outrageous, and the both of you would have a field day. It was well incorporated in your repertoire at that point, but the years apart had the memory sitting on a shelf in your brain, collecting dust. You remember when your dad made a terrible joke the day of your senior prom, and the two of you refused to let it go the entire evening. Javier had a vocabulary of his favourite phrases, and so did you, and you couldn’t help but pull them out every once in a while. 

“How am I going to survive you?!” You spoke in tandem, each letter dragged out with faux frustration, an uncanny similarity to your dad’s tone ringing in the air as your blended voices formed a familiar melody. It hung between you as he laughed heartily, and you wanted nothing more than to frame the moment, keep it tucked away where it would be yours, only yours forever. The starry night, a twinkling sky above you, the chirp of the crickets,  and perhaps your most treasured person, holding you against him. 

You wondered why he left, why he left you behind. Did he feel the same as you did in that moment? Was he happy to be there? To have caught you on your night out? After he’d called off his wedding all those years ago he’d become a rarer sight. You were too young to remember, and it wasn’t long after your parents got married. Growing up in your little town you’d heard he always had a reputation with women, but you never believed a word of the neighbourhood chatter. 

They were not the same person– the guy everyone talked about, and your Javier. While you’d never give him a break from the teasing, bringing up all the times you’d run into women in the streets, asking if you’d seen him, you could never really imagine him as the man everyone made him out to be. He was reckless, sure, and impulsive, and insolent, and a hardass, but he was also gentle, and thoughtful, and gallant.

At least he was to you. 

As if he could hear your thoughts, and they were so loud in your head you wouldn’t be surprised if he could, he broke the silence. “I wanted to come back cariño, but-” 

“But you couldn’t, I know '' There was no point going over what had happened and why, and while you incessantly wondered you knew it was a fruitless exercise. It was just how he was, he liked to up and leave, disappear, keep his distance, and you wondered if that had anything to do with you. But you didn't want to kill the moment, more for yourself than for him. 

“Glad you decided to come, cariño” It was like he was trying to convince you, of what exactly you weren't sure, but he sounded so earnest, so true.. and you felt deep down he was trying to make amends for his absence. Not just from you, but from the life he left behind. Were you an exception? Or a way to right his wrongs? mend all that had been pushed aside? You didn't know, but you’d worry about that later.

The winds had picked up, and the sky was gleaming, and for the first time in a long time you felt at peace. 

“I like it here, it's nice.” When you spoke he was almost surprised, but your words seemed to only widen his grin. He squeezed your shoulder gently. 

“Me too baby, me too.” 

— 

Singin' in the old bars

Swingin' with the old stars

Livin' for the fame

Kissin' in the blue dark

Playin' pool and wild darts

Video games

He holds me in his big arms

Drunk and I am seeing stars

This is all I think of

“Looks like they knew you were coming.” You swivelled the bar stool in your direction, hopping up on the seat. It was early in the evening, around seven, but the music was already going, and there were people on the dance floor, moving to the beat of retro spanish tunes. Javier took a seat beside you, still in his suit from work, shirt haphazardly tucked into his dress pants, tie loose around his neck. 

“Why?” the bartender placed your drinks on the counter, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the fact that he’d stuck to his whiskey on the rocks. “They got the oldies on”. You were giggling, and while he wanted to pretend like he was far too tired to care about your antics he couldn’t help but crack a smile. There was a charm to it– catching a break at the end of the work week, the tranquillity of the weekend enveloping you like a safety net. One of you that is. 

Friday night was busy at any joint, buzzing with nightlife, food and drink. Somewhere along the way you’d gotten up from your seat and headed to the large empty space in the middle of the bar, where tables and chairs had been cleared to create a somewhat makeshift dance floor. Javier was right, while he sat sipping his whiskey you found plenty of dance partners. 

It was all easy, getting passed from one person to the other as the group formed a large circle. It was like you had disappeared into the crowd, bodies moving left to right in the dim green glow, only occasionally giving you a glimpse of the man sitting at the counter– face rested in his palm. Ask him to dance. These urges of yours were momentary, little private lapses of judgement that would only remind you of what was just not possible. 

When he’d take you out back in the day he’d have some minor injury to blame for his lack of participation on the dance floor, and when he didn’t he was “a terrible dancer” or “had too many drinks”. After a while you stopped asking. You realised you’d never really seen him dance. 

You had grabbed the hand of a stranger, letting them twirl you around– Javier was looking in your direction. For how much fun he liked to have you had come to recognize hardly any of it involved other people. Weddings, birthdays, barbeques. He was there. However, you’d always felt he looked at it as an obligation. A hi to the bride and groom, a bouquet of flowers, some meaningless small talk and he would disappear out the door. When he stayed it was solely in the company of a few familiar suspects– your dad being one. While he was often the subject of conversation, he was a pretty reluctant conversationalist. 

It was hot, and muggy, and if someone asked you where you were in the room you surely couldn’t place yourself. Forcing yourself out of the chatter in your head you looked up, noticing finally that your partner hadn’t changed in the past 10 minutes. 

He was looking down at you quite sweetly, he was actually quite handsome, your age, but he didn’t have a white button up on, didn’t have that sideways smirk. He wasn’t Javier. And unfairly, for that reason alone you didn’t want him. But who were you to say no to pretty green eyes, soft, delicate looking light brown hair, a black button up that wasn’t very buttoned up. Neither of you had the confidence to speak up, so you let him sway you side to side, one hand firmly planted on his chest.

You wondered what he really thought of you, if after this little visit he’d be more compelled to come visit, at least spare you a call. Would he disappear once again? Call your dad once in a while and ask him to deliver some impersonal message like ‘say hi to her for me’? You wished you could care less, but you knew you couldn’t, and something inside you told you he knew too. 

A firm arm wrapped around your waist, spinning you in the opposite direction, faces turned to motion blur as you turned on your heel. “Looks like a saved you, cariño.” He was twirling you, holding your hand in his and pulling you into his chest. He hadn’t really saved you but at the same time he had. He could pick you up from a field of lilies and drop you in a medieval torture chamber and he’d still be your knight in shining armour.  

What the fuck are you doing here? You wanted to ask, but you held back. You wondered what had prompted him on the dance floor. Did he think some weirdo wouldn’t let go of you? Had seeing you dance with someone else accomplished a task years of your coaxing couldn’t? You turned back, but the stranger had already disappeared, and Javier was directing your gaze towards him. 

As you had always suspected he was a great dancer, and he sure as hell liked holding you close as you moved along the dance floor. The songs ran over the decades, and he’d often sing lines to you– smiling and pulling you towards him. He looked so handsome, lights reflecting off his face, his smile tired, but earnest, and wide. You almost couldn’t keep up. 

“Danced your energy away?” Picking up the pace once again you twirled around him, unwilling to give in. “No! Why? your back needa rest?” You watched him laugh– shake his head and grab you by the hips. “Sure you didn't cariño.. Can't keep up with an old man?” Voice raw from yelling over the music, you pulled his leg. “Think I heard your knee pop.” His raised brow only aroused suspicion. “Oh really?” Before you could even respond his arm had hooked under your thighs, and his hand was on your back and you were being lifted into the air. “Oh my god!” Your own arms flung around his neck, both your laughs floating between you as he spun around. 

It felt different and not because something in his head had dragged him out onto the dance floor. The way he was looking at you, the way he just couldn’t let go. It hurt your heart more than anything you’d ever experienced. The pain was conflicting– the love ache and the hurt. Did he know how much he meant to you? Did he even care? Something in your heart told you he did but you chalked it up to innocent hope. 

The music slowed down, and you heard emerging from the stereo a familiar tune. 

You’d hum it all the time, so much so it would drive your father nuts. In the kitchen, while doing chores, sometimes as you read by Javier’s side. On the weekend when you woke up early to help cook breakfast it’d be the first song on the playlist. You recall how he’d watch you dance around the kitchen, truth be told rather ungracefully in the mornings– spatula in one hand, kitchen towel in the other.They played it at some wedding once, and your friends had bounded to the dance floor with you just to ensure you didn’t miss a note. You were running so fast you all but collided with him, and he had to catch your falling form as you stumbled towards your best friend, shouting a quick “sorry” as you bounded in her direction.  

He remembered. 

Words were useless when you looked at him the way you did. An expression of surprise, confusion, realisation, all at once, a smile tugging your lips, your doe eyes gazing into his soft brown ones. And his arms were around you, and you were pressed against his warm chest, and you were gently swaying to the beat of the music. 

“Looks like they knew you were coming.” 

It felt like a blip in time, but it would’ve been hours. People came and left, all around you groups of twos and threes and tens, but you stayed, and he stayed. Smiling down at you, holding you tight. You were a little light headed from it all, feet fighting the urge to take a little break. You just couldn’t let go. 

Plopping down on the bar stool you let your cheek hit the cool marble of the counter. Your legs felt like wet noodles, trembling when you finally sat down. You weren't really sure where Javier went, but it felt like an eternity he let you lay there with your eyes closed. Every second was one hundred times longer when he wasn’t holding you. His arm was firm around your waist when he finally helped you out of your seat. You realised he’d been standing only about two metres away the entire time. 

“Let’s get you home, ‘s late.” He had picked your shoes up from where you’d abandoned them, his own blazer draped over his arm– the one you weren’t hanging on to. With closed eyes you let him lead you out into the night, all your weight firmly supported by his broad shoulders, your stumbling feet only stabilised when he tucked you into his side. 

Unintelligible to anyone but him, and muffled by your yawn and cheek pressed against his upper arm you slurred your words as you spoke. “Past your bedtime?” 

He chuckled to himself, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head, his voice a faint murmur– the last thing you really remember hearing.  “Yes cariño, past my bedtime…” 

—

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?

“You been drinkin’ my whiskey….” He was leaning on the table, waving the glass you left out in the air, holding it between two of his fingers. He wasn’t upset, rather looked quite amused. You rubbed your eyes, making out his smile from a distance.  “Couldn't sleep.” Peering into the room you were staying in you were sure he saw your blankets bunched up on the bed where you had been tossing and turning for hours. Your eyes caught the clock on the wall. 

1am. 

It had been a long day. Being assigned to a new supervisor proved to be a real curse. He was quite a piece of work. Patronising, condescending, everything in between. If that wasn’t enough he rejected your proposal, and asked you to submit a new one in two days. God knows you had a lot on your mind. 

The kitchen cabinet swished when he opened it, bringing you back to the present. “God, you really are like me huh?” He still had his jacket on, but judging by the look on his face he needed a drink first. The couch dipped as you threw yourself on it, and you turned over its back rest to watch him move around the kitchen. 

“I had like one shots worth, with like a whole glass of water, so not like you.” Curled up under his plush throw blanket you sank into the cushions, eyes following him as he sat down beside you. With a deep sigh he leaned back, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index. “Fuckin’ hell” 

“Long day?” He picked up the joint he’d just rolled from the side table, groping for the handle of the drawer to grab a lighter. “Can say that..” It was just another night for him. You were lucky you heard him pull up outside, and had got yourself to look somewhat presentable so you could see him at least once that day. Granted that involved nothing but putting on a bralette. 

Maybe it was the fact that it was late, or that you had such a shitty day, or that you just couldn’t help yourself anymore, but you leaned against his chest, snuggling into his side as he took a drag. “I would try and talk you out of this job, but I think I've exhausted all my arguments..” You twiddled your fingers, just wanting to melt into him and disappear. 

“I don’t think there’s anything else I could do.” You shivered, his fingers tracing shapes on your upper arm. “Couldn’t do whatever it is you’ve been doing…” redirecting your gaze from your lap you looked up at him. “Sometimes it feels like I can’t either” He was looking ahead, voice low and rumbly, and just what you needed to hear. 

“You’ve got time, got one’ve my lifetimes ahead’ve you” He pulled you closer, head resting against yours. “Don't say that” You poked his side lightly, hearing him chuckle beside your ear. “Oh yeah, now those jokes gettin’ to you?!” 

Stewing in a comfortable silence you let yourself ease into his embrace, willing your mind to shut up for the time being and enjoy his company. The way he was holding you– so much more delicately than he ever had before had your heart clenching. “Tell me your day was better than mine.”

His words cut through the chilled air, and your heart soared at the thought that it even mattered to him. “No, sucked.” to anyone else you would have responded with a simple ‘it was good’, some white lie to avoid further questions, but you couldn’t lie to him, he’d figure it out one way or another. “My supervisor’s an asshole..”

Nothing was more comforting than the kiss he placed to the side of your head.“‘m sorry honey” He offered you his joint– seemingly having deserted his agenda of being a good influence in favour of apparently celebrating your mutual disappointment. You felt your cheeks heat. 

“I've never smoked before.” 

Gasping comically he whipped his head towards you. He tapped your nose with his index, pinching your cheek and giving you possibly the most suspicious look he could muster. At least he tried, because his smile peaked through the interrogative exterior. “You little liar.” The gesture had you jumping to defend yourself. Shifting to meet his drooping eyes you almost knocked him over as you plopped on the couch, letting him wrap his free arm around your waist to steady you. “No, promise!” You leaned your forehead against his, your eyes gazing into his in an attempt to convince him. Despite his disbelief you were indeed telling the truth. 

“Oh really? Been drinkin’ too, trouble.” his hand snaked up the nape of your neck, cupping your jaw. It was then you realised just how close you were to him. Your eyes flickered to his lips momentarily. When you realised he had beat you to the task you were convinced you were hallucinating, or had somehow gotten high off the second hand smoke. In pain, you were in utter pain, unveiled and unprotected– subjected to his piercing gaze. 

Painfully aware of the tension that had settled like a thick cloud over you, your voice came out small and strained, but also hopeful. “‘M not trouble….could be though” 

The tightness in his jaw was something you couldn’t ignore. “Yeah, I know” In a moment of bad judgement, or in hindsight good judgement you decided you knew what you needed to do. You were exhausted of having to wonder. You were exhausted of asking questions, exhausted of his absence. You slung your leg over his thighs, lifting yourself onto his lap Leaning against his firm chest you peered up at him through your lashes. 

“Baby, careful”  You knew this time those words were not for you, you knew he was fighting the urge to gather you in his arms. You could see that look in his dark eyes– hungry, and hot. You could feel him, hard against your cotton panties. He bent down to press his forehead against yours, your noses bumping. “Cariño, you don't know what you're doing.”  His actions were in direct contradiction to his words, his large hands cradling your soft cheek, pleading you to put him out of his misery. But you were selfish, like he had been all those years ago, and you needed him to put you out of yours. 

“You don’t want this, Cariño” He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. He was doing that thing again, where he was talking more to himself than to you. But couldn’t let him decide what you wanted, because for years you’d let him convince himself you’d wanted to keep your distance to maintain his own conscience– to make him feel better about how he’d disappeared from your life. 

“I know what I want..”  You didn’t mean to, but you were pouting, and despite your best efforts to speak with conviction you couldn’t help but come off a little pleading, “show me, please.” surely he knew you weren’t just talking about the weed. 

His lips ghosted over yours, and you could just about burst into tears the way he was looking at you. He probably noticed the way your chin wobbled, the way your doe eyes blinked away from his. Because in a moment you heard him sigh heavily, painfully, and apologetically all at once. 

And he was kissing you. Soft and slow, and gentle, and benevolent and like everything you’d ever hoped for. He tasted how you’d always imagined– like whiskey and cigarettes and everything in between. Like home. His thumb stroked your cheek gently until you pulled away, glossy eyed and wobbly on his lap. 

“Want me to show you what?” And here you thought his eyes couldn’t get any darker. He mumbled into your lips, voice commanding and steady– everything you weren't. He grabbed the back of your neck and guided you back towards him. Threading your fingers through his hair you let yourself get lost in the shelter of his hold. You felt as though he could pretty much eat you alive, the way his lips were moving against yours– suddenly hot and soft and needy. 

Heart racing you chased his lips with your own, but he steadied you with his hands, amused at your zeal. “Gotten all worked up now have we?” You couldn’t help it, you tried, tried to sit steady in his lap, but you just couldn’t, not when you felt his cock, twitch against your clothed pussy. 

You rolled your hips against his, watched as his head fell back against the couch. The crease between his brows only persuaded you to continue. “Shit baby, tryna kill me?” barely audible, his rasp had you bracing yourself with your hands planted firmly on his chest. You dragged your hips again, leaning down and tugging the fabric of his shirt. He reached for the joint he’d abandoned on the side table, bringing it to your lips. 

He observed you greedily. “That's it, good girl.” His voice had never sounded more strained than it did in that moment, watching you take a drag, eyes glossing over. The praise had your heart fluttering, you’d do just about anything to hear it again. Smoking wasn’t helping either of your causes, because it only made you press your pussy harder against his clothed crotch. This time his hips rose slightly to meet you, and he cursed lowly under his breath. Already unable to maintain control. 

Taking another drag he leaned back, letting you rub yourself against him, eyes screwing shut every once in a while, just like your own. He’d bring the joint to your waiting mouth every now and then, revelling in the sight of you getting more and more desperate with each puff. 

“dirty little girl..” you whimpered at his words. “rubbin’ that drippy lil pussy all over my lap.” You looked down, only to find a dark spot on his grey jeans, for where you pressed yourself against him. Incapable of stopping your movements you continued, relishing how the friction eased the throbbing between your legs. “Yeah? few drags got you all achy cariño, got you squirmin’?” 

He was watching you, and you could make out his intense gaze through your fluttering lashes, his eyes scanning you up and down, then fixing on your face of strained pleasure. “Tell me how good it feels, Cariño” His palms smoothed up and down your thighs, harsh and slow, and exercising all the self control he could muster. It was difficult to answer, a response bubbling in your throat before you were incoherently blurting it out. 

"Feels so good..” whining, you grabbed the fabric of his shirt in your fists, bouncing on his lap lightly to feel just anything against you, you wanted more, lust and intoxication clouding your judgement. “Please, need it, need it so bad” Losing all sense of restraint one of his hands reached for your hips, squeezing and gripping firmly. 

He dragged your already rolling hips against him, sliding you against his clothed crotch to the point you couldn’t help but let your legs fall limp, your forehead press against his shoulder. “Need what?” You could feel the tick in his jaw where it was pressed up against your cheek. 

His hand slipped between your bodies, moving your soaked panties aside to feel your wetness. You shuddered when you felt him against you, grinding down on his hand. “Fuck, look at that. So fuckin’ wet for me babygirl.” 

“Need you inside me, please.” Nosing his neck you pressed a kiss there, mouth falling agape as he rubbed your clit, fingers teasing your entrance, just barely pushing into you.  “Like this?” If your laboured breaths were any indication you couldn’t take it much longer. 

You wiggled your hips, trying to bear down on his digits, but he pulled away only to squeeze the inside of your thigh. ““Gettin’ to you already? use your words baby” he was taunting you, your little ‘no’s making him smirk against your shoulder as he went back to sliding his fingers along the cut of your pussy. “What do ya’ want me to do to you? Tell me babygirl.” You knew the sweet talk was only meant to encourage you, and while it worked you couldn’t help the way your cheeks burned when you replied. 

“Want your cock inside me. Want you to fuck me.. please … need it” 

Now that he listened to, fingers pulling away and tapping at your lips. When you gazed down at them you could see how wet you really were– having drenched them in the little while he’d had his hand in your panties. Obeying you parted them, letting him slide them into your waiting mouth, sucking gently, the taste of yourself heady on your tongue. “Good girl.” Even though he looked quite composed on the outside you still noticed the way he swallowed thickly when your tongue ran along his digits. 

“Want me to fuck the cute lil pussy?” you shook your head vehemently, and he chuckled at your enthusiasm. “That's my pretty baby.” he kissed you like he wanted to devour you, frantic, and urged, voice so rough it came out almost like a growl. His hands roughly grabbed your hips, flipping you to lay back against his couch. In a moment your sleep top and bralette had been discarded, in a pile on the floor alongside your shorts and his own clothes. 

Slotting himself between your legs you looked down to where his fingers were tracing the inside of your thigh. You gazed up at him, upper body lit by the dim orange light of the side table, broad shoulders slumped as he admired the sight of you– on your back, in nothing but your panties, all for him. As he slowly pulled them down your legs, he sure seemed to relish the way the fabric of your cotton panties clung messily to your wet pussy.  

“Poor thing, just need someone to take care of you don’t you?” It was less of a question and more of a declaration, and undoubtedly it made you feel open and weak. How could you not feel that way? There you were laid out in front of him, every part of you exposed, his toned torso being the only part of him you could really see thanks to the half lit room. It felt like if he looked just a little closer he’d be able to see right through your naked body– and into your scrambled thoughts. 

His index teased your dripping hole, briefly dipping into you and coming back to rub soft circles on your clit. Gasping, your fingers flew to grip his wrist when you felt him slide his cock against your cunt, tip teasing your sensitive nub ever so slightly. “Relax babygirl, be good for me.” Bringing your hand to his lips he peppered your knuckles with kisses, willing you to ease into the cushions as he draped himself over your body. He grasped your face in his palm, kissing his reassurance against your forehead as you felt him line himself up with your leaking entrance. 

You mewled at the stretch of him, at how hot you felt against him as he eased himself into your soft pussy. “Shit- so fucking tight-” his stopped for a second, like he was willing himself not to split you open with one quick snap of his hips. “can barely fit my cock in this lil pussy.” Leaning in your lips searched for his. He let you melt into him, fingers brushing against your side as if to calm you down. 

It was so much– his weight on top of you, his hips slotted between your thighs, forehead pressed against yours. You could feel every pulse, every throb, every ridge of him inside you, nudging those spots you could never reach yourself– and he wasn’t even moving yet. 

When he did start moving you couldn’t help the whimper that slipped past your lips. Your fingers digging into the flesh of his biceps, pulling him closer. You needed him, pressed up against your rising chest, holding you. “I know cariño, I know.” His right hand squeezed your waist, “Feels so good doesn’t it? Yeah feelin’ all full?” 

His voice was so sweet, like honey, warm and sultry in your ear. You nodded a quiet ‘yes’. He cradled your face in his palm, nose nudging yours gently. Mumbling his own rhetorical “yeah?” he kissed the underside of your jaw. For the first time he felt as close as he physically was, big and thick inside you. 

You were drowning in his arms, enveloped by them, cocooned in a bubble of heat, and low breathy sighs, and his lips ghosting over yours as he thrust into you– hard, but slow, and deep.  “That’s it, just like that–” he picked up his pace ever so slightly. “Such a good girl.” His words were gruff, and stuttery and his breath tickled your ear whenever he spoke. 

Feeling the drag of his thick cock against your pulsing walls your eyes struggled to focus on him above you. He on the other hand seemed to have no trouble fixing his gaze on your trembling form. “Makin’ me feel so–” he brought his thumb to brush the swell of your cheek, “fucking good, baby”. Your head buzzed at his praise, burning face turning to rest in his palm. 

With your back lifting off the soft cushion you reached to pull him impossibly closer, wiggling your hips to meet his thrusts. “More, please, please.. Want it” you couldn’t recognise your voice, not when you were begging him, watching his eyes twinkle. “Yeah? Need me to fuck this pretty pussy harder?” you nodded– feeling embarrassed enough at his smirk of surprise to hide your face in his neck, but not enough to stop begging. Another soft “please” barely falling from your mouth.  

Rising slightly he grabbed your hips, holding your thigh against his side. Your tilted hips granted him a whole new angle, and before you knew it you were throwing your head back, letting it fall against the upholstery. “You want that, don't you baby? Need me to stuff you full of my cum?” You could only respond with your sounds of pleasure. 

He pushed you against the cushions, hovering above you to drive himself deeper, watching you turn into a moaning incoherent mess– your whimpers and whines bouncing off the walls and only exhilarating his pleasure. “That's right cariño, I gotcha’” one hand squeezed the flesh of your hip, then travelled up to brush against the exposed column of your throat– fingers tracing your skin before he was leaning down and placing sloppy kisses against you. 

“gonna fuck this pretty pussy till she’s dripping with my cum.”

He must have noticed that dumb, hazy look in your eyes when propped himself back up, still fucking you till your hips pressed into the sofa’s cushions. “Fuck, nothin in that head of yours huh?” You made out his smirk of pride as you jostled around, trying your best to keep your eyes on him as he moved above you. 

It was far easier said than done. Not when you could feel his cock against your throbbing walls, could hear his scruff groans whenever he felt you clench around him, not when he was looking down at you with his furrowed brows, and sweat gemming his hair– which’s curls had been ruffled out of place from when you’d ran your fingers through them. 

Especially not when he shifted ever so slightly, and you felt his tip brush that sensitive spot inside you you didn't even know you had. Javier cursed above you, feeling you squeeze his cock. “that the spot huh babygirl?” he watched the way your eyes fluttered shut, face scrunching in pleasure as he hit it over and over and over again. 

Your head lulled from side to side, your body in overdrive and completely overwhelmed at the sensations. That was until he was cupping your cheek in his palm, tilting your face in his direction. “Use your words for me.”. But you couldn’t, parted lips struggling to form anything coherent besides soft, little whines. 

His hips snapped in a deep, slow thrust. “Say it..” Your eyes were barely open, and you reached and tried to grab him closer, but he stayed above you, unwilling to budge as he slowed to a complete stop– waiting for you to voice your needs. “Yes-”

He mumbled against your lips, nipping, and kissing. “Good girl, my good girl.” To that you nodded, back arching as he drove you closer and closer to the edge.  Every part of you singing at his touch– how he kneaded and squeezed your hot flesh. 

The coil in your belly only tightened and tightened, and you suddenly felt too vulnerable, too exposed to meet his hooded eyes. Turning your face to the side you let the plush throw blanket hide your hot cheeks, burying your face in it. “Look at me, wanna see your pretty face.” It was an instruction. One he expected you to follow like all the others. 

You didn’t think he’d notice that hitch in your breath, the way you did the opposite and smashed your face against the soft fabric. It was all too much, and he was fucking into your soaking pussy, and his hands were roaming your body, and you could feel his skin brush yours, and you were dizzy, and overwhelmed and you could scream and–

And he was slowing down again, just enough to where he kept you on that edge, to where you could savour every bit of him inside you. – “Cariño, look at me..” God he sounded so tender, coaxing you out of your daze just enough to the point you shook your head ‘no’, whimpering and turning only further away from him. 

He kissed your cheek, cooing at your overwhelm. Not to mock you, rather he sounded quite endeared, prideful even. “Baby” Nudging his nose with yours you felt his thumb rub soothing circles against the apex of your cheekbone, urging you in his direction ever so slightly. Your eyes fluttered open, just barely, only to find him smiling down at you. 

“There’s my girl.” 

“Need you to look at me when ‘m fuckin’ you.” He held your face in place as his hips met yours, slow and languid. No part of you was left untouched, his kisses adorning every inch of your exposed skin, lips coming to press against yours every now and then. It was like he could see through your nakedness, and the thought terrified you to no end, made you feel small and defenceless, and had your sensitive cunt squeezing his cock.  

“You close honey?” When you nodded your nose bumped his, and he laughed before he was kissing you gently. He brushed the sweat from your brow, voice so mellow yet in control. “Cum for me baby-” You felt him deep inside you. So so so close. ”Wanna feel you cum all over my cock” 

It rolled over you, slow and intense and deep, in waves. He held you close, cooing at your trembling frame, holding you against him. “'M here cariño, I gotcha, just like that.” Groaning, he watched your eyes struggle to remain open, rolling back into your head as he fucked your throbbing cunt. “That's my pretty girl.” 

His own hips stuttered, thrusts becoming sloppy as he neared his release. Still experiencing the aftershocks of your orgasm you felt him fucking into your warm, pulsing pussy. You felt his cock twitch inside you before he was filling you up with his cum, a strained curse slipping past his lips. 

Ears ringing you registered him catching his breath above you, but it was all too hazy for you to make out. All you really knew is that he hadn’t let go of you, hadn’t abandoned you on the couch to smoke a cigarette or pour himself a drink, instead he was peppering your face with little kisses. “ ‘m so proud’a you cariño– did so well for me.” 

Pulling out he slid his hand under your back, flipping you over so you were snuggled into his chest. The cold air from the open window could barely touch your skin before Javier was throwing the blanket over you– keeping you warm, close. 

You were still in your daze, but even as you lay on top of him, drifting in and out of a deep slumber you couldn’t shake the worry that when you opened your eyes he would be gone. 

That he would have traded you in for the comfort of his bed, or worse would have disappeared into obscurity once again. The thought only stung more as you felt his cum leak out of you, mixing with your own to drip down your thighs obscenely. 

You never really knew if he regretted it, if he wanted you for sure, if he liked having the weight of your body against him. Flinging your arms around his neck you tugged him impossibly closer, burying your face in his neck. A silent plea to stay where he was. You didn’t care if you seemed needy, or clingy or pathetic. 

It was like he knew somehow, like your thoughts floated to him after you’d thought them. And as always there was no explaining to do, no questions to answer, nothing to say. His embrace was safe, and secure, and unwavering. “close those eyes for me cariño mìo” He planted a soft kiss to your nose, his arms tightening around you, palms rubbing soothing circles on your back. “‘m right here babygirl, not goin’ anywhere….”

You did. And he didn’t. 

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And, baby, now you do

Now you do

Now you do

Now you do

Now, now you do

Now you do

Now you do

I would also like to add that we are engaging with this concept solely in the realm and interest of fiction. This type of situation is a huge red flag. While the reader is seemingly consenting and enthusiastic there is a huge power imbalance between her and Javier. He has also known her her whole life and has been a significant part of her childhood. Engaging sexually or romantically in a relationship like that is creepy gr*omer behaviour. I used their past as a narrative device because this isn’t real, but please be aware of your media consumption, and that dynamics between characters in fic are vastly different from what is healthy, and ethical in real life. 🫶🐝💗

I really hoped you lovelies enjoyed it!! Please let me know what you think, I'd love to hear it! Thank you to everyone who reblogs my work, you keep me writing. Dividers and banners by @ saradika 💗🐝✨

[sorapricots]

Soothing Heaven

Summary: While the nightmare kept trailing behind each of his step keeping him wide awake and tied down to the reminder that his the last of his people, you always accept him with warm smile and open arms.

Pair: Aventurine x Reader

Genre: Hurt/comfort

Warnings: Everyone is sad here :(

A/N: I got aventurine in soft pity AND I won my 50/50 TWICE (Yes my Aventurine is E1 I am so proud) can y’all believe that? Not to mention I got his light cone on 10 pulls with 0 pity… he wanted me fr fr.  Aventurine story quest really kills me. He just want a peaceful life yet the fate say no n make him suffering more than he already suffered :( that man just need some hug fr.

Wc:  1,1k

“You’re a child blessed by Gaiathra Triclops and can lead the clan to happiness. So always remember to protect yourself and never resent the pain and poverty you’re going through… All right?”

Aventurine gasped as he opened his eyes. Beeping from the alarm beside his table can be heard. He pushed the alarm off as he blankly stared the ceiling above him. His sister’s words keep echoing in his head. He exhaled softly as he pushed his body from the bed.

As he started to get ready he start to imagine what and how his trip to penacony will be. Will his mission from the IPC will go smoothly or will he encounter enemies he can’t face?

Whatever the result is he surely does not excited to leave. He grabbed his phone as he walked out from his bedroom. Quickly searching for your name in his contact list and call your number.

One, two, and three rings you finally pick up his call.

“Hello! Good morning my love.” Your smooth voice made him smile softly as he opened the fridge.

“Good morning my lucky charm.” He can hear you giggle from the phone which only make his smile harder. Suddenly he feel the tattoo on his neck pulsed. Which make him grunt a bit. Making his lover stop talking.

“Are you okay my love?” you asked voice laced with worries. Aventurine let out a small hum to show that he’s okay when in reality his clutching his neck pretty hard.

“I don’t feel so good about this my love… are you sure you are okay and will go to penacony?” Aventurine can’t help but smile with how worried and how caring his lover to his well being.

“Don’t worry sunshine, I will be alright. You know I always be alright.” Aventurine can hear you sniffled. Aventurine cooed at the thought of you wiping your tears.

“I’ll go to your place now hm? Let’s have some time together before I left with Topas. I’ll see you in 10, love. I love you my lucky charm.” You let out a choke hum before bid him goodbye and hear a beep from your phone.

.

.

.

10 minutes never feel so long in your life as you sit on the counter with your earbuds on trying to drown bad thoughts in your head. Your finger turning red as you keep picking the skin.

You blinked when you see a harm gloved fingers carefully pull your fingers apart. Suddenly the world is quiet.

Aventurine carefully cup your cheeks with his hands. Treating you like a glass he got from an auction with highest price. Carefully he wiped aways those tears that won’t stop streaming down. And end it with a soft kiss on each of your eyes.

“I’m here. And always be here no matter how far we are.” He said with a whisper. Your eyelids rapidly blink away the tears before you pull him to a hug. Inhaling his scent and absorbing his warmth.

“Be safe, Kakavasha.” Your tone wavering. Aventurine smile softly at the way you call him by his real name. A privilege that is reserve for you and you only.

“I will, precious.” His hands softly rub your back as you hug him harder.

“Let me drop you off at the office.” You spoke softly as you pull yourself a bit to see your lover face. Aventurine smile and nodded.

You both go to IPC office, hands entangled to one and another refusing to let go. The closer you are to the office the tighter your grip on his hand. And all he can do is just pulling you closer to his side.

“Well looks like someone is not willing to say their goodbye.” Topaz welcome both of you with Numby on her shoulder squeaking. You smile at her before Aventurine pull you a bit far away to talk.

“I will go now…” there’s a heavy atmosphere enveloping around both of you.

“I will wait here…” your voice crack as your vision blurry. Hands carefully play with one of his rings.

Aventurine lean in carefully. Cupping your cheeks as his forehead touch yours. His multi-coloured eyes stare at your glossy ones. Thumbs carefully wiping the fallen tears before he kissed you.

Slowly Aventurine pull away. You watch as one of your hand hold the other half set of earing that you have with Aventurine. Carefully playing with the crystal as your eyes watch Aventurine get into the car with Topaz and left.

Empty start to engulfing you as you walk home alone.

.

.

.

Anxious.

One feeling that have been haunted you for the past 3 days. The news spread like a wildfire about what happened with IPC especially Aventurine in Penacony.

If it’s not because how hard it was to be able to step a foot on Penacony and the responsibility you have at home you would go to Aventurine as soon as you can. But fate decided the other thing and all you can do is just wait.

Your eyes keep moving back to your phone as your fingers typing stuff at the laptop on your lap. The sky getting dark and yet there’s no ongoing news about what happened with your lover. Not even from Topaz herself.

Suddenly there’s a jingle of keychains. Your finger immediately stopped typing as you try to confirm yourself if you hear something. You can feel your chest beating.

The door creaked as it opened slowly. Showing a figure with clothing style that you so familiar with. In a hurry you put everything aside and you run to welcome him.

There he was. Your Aventurine. Looks so dishevelled. His skin looks paler than he already is. There’s no glint of light in his multi-coloured eyes. He looks like he’s about to collapsed anytime soon.

You open your arms. No words to be said as your eyes mirror his. Slowly he walked towards you before he let his body fall limp into your arms.

No sobs to be heard from him, but the way you can feel your shirt getting damp tell a story that don’t need to be untold. Carefully both of you fall to the floor. With Aventurine still in your arms and your arms carefully rub his back.

Suddenly you feel him circling his arms around you. Tight enough for you to unable to let go. You hug him equally tight. Sway your body from side to side. Aiding his inner turmoil. Telling him without words that you will be there.

“Welcome back, Kakavasha.” you said with the softest tone you can give. Sobs suddenly break out from him as you try to calm his trembling body by playing his hair.

Maybe, maybe this is what the emanator of nihility meant when she told him to go back. His soothing heaven is waiting for him after all.

[ovaryacted]

If you need some crack to help lift the spirits.

Leon trying (and failing) to win over his s/o’s cat.

I’m talking like, Leon meets the fluffy beast for the first time. He tries to pet her and she glares at him. his s/o is like “This is princess. She’s very sweet :)”

His s/o can’t see it, but Leon can. That cat is a menace.

She knocks over a cup when she sees Leon and s/o kissing. S/o is like “aww someone wants attention.” But Leon K N O W S.

Whenever Leon and S/o are cuddling, the cat gets between them.

He sleeps over and wakes up to the cat sitting on his face to try and suffocate him.

When s/o is gone? It’s WWIII. Leon and the cat are in the same room and s/o isn’t there? WWE smack down on LEON. He gets beaten by the CAT.

Whenever s/o turns their back, Leon and the cat just GLARE at each other wherever they are.

He tries to pet her and she actually growls at him. Full on monster growl. He tries to win her over with treats and she hisses. He once got so fed up he hissed back. Only ended in mutually assured destruction between them.

They tolerate each other at best. But infront of s/o? They behave.

But! Bonding! Only during storms. The cat is afraid of thunder, and storms remind Leon of RC. So he’s awake in bed, and the cat just so happens to walk onto his lap and sit down. But as soon as the rain stops? It’s back to Tom and Jerry antics.

However. If the cat is sick or hurt, Leon is perceptive enough to know she needs to go to the vet. He’s studied the feline for so long he actually gets upset if she has to stay at the vet for an extended period of time.

But once she’s back? the Cone of shame can’t stop CLAWS.

But, it’s not all cats. Maybe there’s more animals. They all Love leon. He can read them and their behavior easily. He’s just been bested by this ONE DEMON CAT THAT HIS S/O NAMED PRINCESS

-angsty (not really anymore lmfao) anon

LMAOOOO OMG THIS IS FUNNY AND ALSO CUTE AND ENDEARING. I can see Leon being someone who is relatively good with animals and is often kind to them, but he just can't seem to get along with his partner's cat. I've seen so many videos of cats doing the same thing where they'll be so close with their guardians and the other person becomes their punching bag. Yeah, Leon would find himself in that predicament.

He can't be near his partner without the cat hovering nearby, probably jumping into their guardian's lap and craving attention, which really is just a tactic to get Leon away from them. That cat is just so petty that they'll stare and hiss at Leon when he kisses his significant other, almost as if daring him to fuck off.

God forbid Leon is in bed with his partner too, this cat will just come into bed and start slapping Leon in his sleep and it wakes him up so suddenly he feels a weight on his chest. He blinks in the dark, seeing orbs literally staring back at him as if this small pet was claiming their dominance over Leon.

He tries to mention it to his partner and says that he doesn't know why Princess hates him so much as he scratches the back of his neck. His lover just kind of laughs and shrugs, saying "She'll warm up to you, she's just not used to you yet. She's a sweetheart" and he thinks that it's reassuring enough so he drops it and moves on.

Except the moment of acceptance never comes, not in the way Leon wants anyway. He is literally fighting at home constantly, this cat, this so-called princess making an enemy out of him and trying so hard to get on his nerves. He'll get hit constantly, and his clothes are used as makeshift scratching toys, all torn up from the kitty's claws. Not to mention, Leon also gets scratched if he even tries to get too close to Princess, she'll literally jump his bones and pounce on him to get some hits in.

This is a man who kills bioweapons for crying out loud and here he is, getting his ass beat by a fucking cat. But he loves his partner, really does, and knows that they are good for each other so he decides to suffer in silence and let Princess tear him a new one. He tries to bribe them with treats and toys, giving them a peace offering so they'll back off but the cat just won't give him a break.

What he doesn't talk about are the rare moments when this demon cat silently accepts his existence. They hate the rain and hate thunderstorms, and one night Leon finds himself wide awake and walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, getting himself a cup of water. He can't sleep, knowing it will be a while before he can go back to bed. He watches the cat coming towards him, and he doesn't move, just pretends he doesn't see them in his peripheral.

The cat jumps onto the counter, tail curling as they watch Leon diligently, but there isn't malice in their eyes. He tilts his head towards the fluffy animal and starts to talk to them.

"You too huh?", he's asking this pet if they hate thunderstorms just like he did, and he gets a meow in response. He sips at his water again, nodding his head as he suddenly becomes the cat whisperer.

"Yeah, I hate the rain", Leon mumbles after, and they stay in the kitchen in comfortable silence after a while, enjoying the quality time shared with a new mutual understanding between them.

Maybe this cat ain't so bad. He'll think that to himself before getting his ass beat again the moment he wakes up.

[madsnowstorm]

everything | j. seresin

beyond - leon bridges ft. luke combs

summary : jake loves weddings. you hate them. shared revelations might just change your opinion

warnings - 18+, fem!reader, established relationship, FLUFF. so much fluff. not beta'd,

notes — happy valentine's day! here is a sickly sweet one for @roosterforme's 'love is in the air' challenge. like, so sweet.

Jake loved weddings. He always enjoyed a good reason to dress up, hair gelled just right and cufflinks perfectly in place. If he happened to be in Texas he’d have on his favorite pair of boots and a bolo tie. He loved dancing at the receptions. It didn’t matter if there was a live band or a DJ, Jake was always out on the dance floor. This was especially if there was line dancing involved. Then there was the cake. Jake’s one weakness in life was wedding cake. He could turn down any cookie, pie, or ice cream cone shoved in his face…But wedding cake? There was no holding him back…Except today, at this wedding, he could only focus on one thing. You.

You were sitting at a table that was right off the dancefloor. One shapely leg was thrown over the other, peeking out of the slit of your burgundy bridesmaid dress. Your bare foot was bouncing to the music and your eyes were trained on the bride and groom who were sharing their first dance. Jake’s eyes traveled quickly to Javy and his new wife, his childhood sweetheart, Leah, as they swayed to the rhythm. They did not care that over one hundred people were staring them down. The only thing capturing their attention was their partner. Jake only looked at them for a moment longer before letting his gaze drift back to you. His eyes were drawn to how soft and bright your skin looked. You looked soft and supple.He wanted to glide his hands over your bare shoulders and down your back. You were radiant...Like the sun. And he wanted to put that shit in a bottle and tuck it in his pocket.

God. You were so fucking beautiful. 

Funnily enough the two of you met at another wedding months ago. One of Javy’s and Leah’s friends from their youth was getting married and Leah was a part of the bridal party. Javy didn’t want to be alone and knowing that Jake was down to crash any wedding, brought the blond along. Jake wished he could say that he noticed you the moment you walked into the large event space. He wished he could tell you that he’d gotten tunnel vision when he saw you walking towards him. Wished that he could drone on and on to his future grandchildren about how the moment your eyes met his, he knew you were the one.

No. That didn’t happen. In fact, you were late to the ceremony and snuck in next to Javy. Javy’s body shook with laughter as you raised your hand in an awkward wave, cringing. Seconds later the ceremony started and his attention turned from you to the ceremony. He actually forgot that you were there until the ceremony was over and Javy was introducing you both. As you both sipped on drinks of your choice while the event space was being converted for the reception, the topic of work. You were extremely uninterested in the fact that he was a naval aviator. He attributed that to you knowing Javy for so long, but it did stump him a little bit. 

As he talked with you, he found himself trying to impress you. He wanted to make you smile, to make you laugh. He wanted to see you after this. It was different than it normally was. Typically when he left weddings he was going back to some hotel room with a girl on his arm and a pleasant buzz, and was gone by the next morning. You, though? You left before they even served the wedding cake, mentioning something about it getting late after looking at the delicate gold watch on your wrist. Jake did not understand. How could someone leave before having at least one slice of cake? 

In the moments it took for him to try and wrap his head around that unfathomable act, you’d made it to the parking lot. It only took a few moments for the blond to catch up to you, yelling your name and waving his hand to grab your attention. Standing by your compact SUV, he all but begged for your number. He could tell by the way you bit your bottom lip that you weren’t entirely sure about him. He was willing to let you go, but just as quick as you decided to leave, you also decided to give him a chance. Numbers were exchanged and drinks were planned.

Five months later led you to where you were today; you happily watching your friends on the dance floor and Jake longingly watching you. The song the band was currently playing transitioned into another. This song had a slightly peppier sound, but still had a slow rhythm. 

“The bride and groom would love to invite you to grab a partner and join them on the dance floor!” The lead singer announced before they began singing.

Jake made his way over to you, dodging people who were now walking around. Some were headed to the dancefloor, while others looked to be grabbing sweet snacks or drinks. There were some older couples that chose to stay seated, enjoying the sight of young love.  Your eyes were still on your friends, but now your body was beginning to sway with the new song. Jake thought that was good, because it meant it would not take much convincing to get you out on the dance floor. As Jake walked closer, he watched your eyes move from Javy and Leah, to him. Your smile widened and his heart stuttered.

__

You hated weddings. They were expensive and uncomfortable. The wedding industry was practically a crime against humanity and you could think of a million different things that could be purchased for the cost of a wedding. The food was never good and the wedding cake was always bland and usually dry. The only thing you could slightly be on board with were weddings that had an open bar. Leah was one of your childhood friends and it was only because you loved her and valued her friendship that you adopted the motto grin and bear it when you accepted the offer to be a bridesmaid. It also helped that Jake was just as much of this process as you were. 

He was the exact opposite of you. The man adored any reason to celebrate, weddings included. In moments he knew you were overwhelmed or just completely done with all the pomp and circumstance, he would always find a way to put a little joy in your heart. A wink here, a flirty touch there. Your boyfriend almost made you forget that you hated weddings.

“M’lady,” He asked, appearing behind you. You looked over your shoulder and basked in the beauty of the man in his dress whites. While he was far from the only one dressed in his military regalia, he was most certainly the best looking. Your gut filled with anticipation for what was going to come after the wedding. “Can I have this dance?” You lifted your finger to your chin, tapping it as though you were deep in contemplation. 

“I’m sorry, but I-” Jake didn’t let you finish your joke. He grabbed your free hand which was draped over your chair and pulled you up. It was clear the dance floor was his destination.

Other couples were swaying around the tiled door. You caught Leah’s eye and she smiled at you. Your friend looked beyond happy and incredibly in love. You were happy for her and Javy and wished them nothing but the best. Jake pulled you close as you took your spot near your friends. One hand was heavy on your hip, the other grasping one of yours. He held it close to his heart, letting both your hands rest on his chest.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” He remarked.

“Hmmm, maybe once or twice.” It was more than that. All throughout wedding party pictures he kept whispering compliments and promises in your ear. He made you feel like the most beautiful creature to have walked the earth. You could feel the rumble of a chuckle under the back of your hand.

“Anyone ever mention how funny you are?” It was now your turn to laugh. Jake’s only response was to shake his head. He got quiet for a moment, before asking another question. “Do you want to get married?” The question took you off guard, causing you to step on Jake’s toes.

“Are you proposing?” You hoped he couldn’t hear the nerves in your voice. The two of you had not talked about the future, completely fine to move at the snail's pace you’d been at.

“No, not at all.” Jake shook his head. “I just meant in general. Do you want to get married?” Was this really the time? Your heart was beating heavily against your chest. It wouldn’t be surprising if Jake could feel it.

“Do you want to get married?” Was your coy response.

“Don’t deflect. It’s a simple question.” Jake was an arrogant guy. It was one of the first things you noticed about him. He typically spoke with a teasing tone, but there was no hint of it now. He was serious. 

“Married to you or just married?” You matched his tone. This time you weren’t being playful and you needed this clarification  before you gave yours.

“Married to me.”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, but the words left your mouth without permission. Part of you was scared that your feelings about the future wouldn’t be reciprocated. “Do you want to get married to me?” It was his turn for honesty, but as your eyes roamed over his face you knew your mind could not prepare you for his answer.

“I want everything with you, Darlin’.”

“Jake…” His name was no more than a whisper on your lips.

“I’m sorry if that is too early or if that scares you , but it’s the truth. I want marriage, yes, but I want you to meet my family. I want to make a family. I want a dog and a house. I want someone to come home at the end of hard days and long deployments. I want everything.” The only way you knew how to react was physically. As your lips met his, you didn’t have a single care about all the people around you.

“I love you.”

“I know, who doesn’t?” Your eyes narrowed and you pinched his hip. He playfully yelped. “Did I say that? I meant to say that I love you too.”

Maybe weddings weren’t so bad, after all.

[bingbongsupremacy]

Every Night

Pairing: Max Mayfield x Reader

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Summary: Every night since 7th grade, Max has made it a mission to say goodnight -Face to face. At tonights' visit, you discover that your friendship might have been more than you thought it was.

(Pretend Max has lived in Hawkins her whole life)

*Not Proof Read*

I don't believe I mention anything gender specific. If I did, please let me know and I can fix it.

ABC List Stranger Things Masterlist

*****

Every few minutes I glance over at my window. Blinds open, the moonlight shines through the glass, onto my carpeted floor.

8:30.

She should be here by now. What if she got hurt? I mean, with all the weird stuff going on lately, anything is possible.

Finally, a small rock hits the bottom of my window.

I rush over to open window, looking down at the grinning girl.

" You gonna let me in? " She asks after a moment. " Or are we gonna have to Romeo and Juliet this tonight. "

I roll my eyes, leaning my head out of the window slightly. " You're so dramatic. "

" That's what you love about me. " She whisper shouts.

" I guess. " I chuckle, moving back into my room.

There's a lot more I love about Max, most of which she doesn't know about.

We're just friends, Y/N. Calm down.

I tip toe quietly into the kitchen, opening the door as gently as possible.

Max is waiting patiently on the other side, her backpack messily slung over her shoulder. " About time. " She teases.

" Oh shut up, Max. " I mumble, closing the door behind her.

She quietly laughs and we head up to my room. Once the bedroom door is closed, she drops her bag onto my floor, plopping onto my bed in the process. Max lets out a small sigh. " I missed you today. "

I lay down with my head on my arms, turning to face her. " You did? That's shocking. "

Max rolls her eyes at my sass. " I always miss you. You're my best friend. "

Best friend. Always the best friend, never the partner.

" Your my best friend too. " I smile at the girl.

Max lets out a laugh. " Of course I am, babe. " She flips onto her stomach so she can look be at my level.

Butterflies flutter at the pet name, something she's been calling me for a while now. I don't really remember when it started. Freshman year maybe? That's around the time we started having more and more sleepovers. My parents finally let me stay over at someone else' house.

" What's going on in that pretty head of yours. " Max asks, gently tapping her shoulder against mine.

I snap out of my thoughts. " Oh, just trying to remember when you started calling me 'babe'. I don't really know though. "

Max's eyebrows furrow. " I remember. It was like a week after we started dating, the summer of Freshman year- "

My eyes widen. " What? "

Max looks at me with a confused expression. " What do you mean, 'what'? "

" We're dating? " I ask, my heart beginning to pound. " Since when? "

Max pushes herself up into a sitting position. I quickly follow. " You seriously don't remember? I asked you out and we went to the arcade and then to get ice cream. I walked you home. That was our first date. "

I shake my head. " You never asked me out, you asked if I want to go to the arcade after school...with you. "

That was our first time going to the arcade without the others. Just the two of us. We played games for hours before finally deciding to head over to Hardy's for an ice cream cone. Now that I think about it, I think Max might have paid for my cone.

Max laughs slightly, nodding her head. " Yeah..." She says in a playful 'duh' tone.

" To be fair, " I point out. " You never actually said ' Do you want to go on a date with me? '. I mean, I thought we were just going to hang out. "

Max rolls her eyes. " Well then what did you think when I started calling you babe? Or like holding your hand? "

I shrug. " I don't know...that we were best friends? I mean, you call me your best friend all the time. I sorta assumed you just friend zoned me. "

Max lets out a groan, gently crashing her forehead into my shoulder. " You are my best friend. You're my partner and my best friend. "

" And you've never actually kissed me - "

" I did! " Max snaps back up. " That one time at Mike's party. "

That night was our first high school party. It wasn't very big but there was a few bottles of beer and no parents around.

" We were playing spin the bottle. That doesn't count. You had to kiss Lucas too. " I nervously begin to fidget with the hem of my shirt. How did I not know we were dating?

Max puts her warm hands on my shoulders, causing me to look up at her. " Fine. " She gently grabs my chin before leaning towards me. Her warm lips meet mine, causing my eyes to flutter close after a moment of surprise. Her soft lips gently guide mine. Electric shockwaves run through my body. My heart pounds in excitement.

Ever since our kiss at Mike's party, this is what I've been wanting. I never thought it was actually going to happen.

Max's hand finds its way behind my head. She gently plays with the hair at the nape of my neck before pulling away for air.

I let out a small pant, eyes meeting hers.

" I definitely missed that. " Max grins.

Warmth floods my cheeks. " I'm such an idiot. " I mumble.

Max shakes her head, her red hair fluttering softly back into place. " You're not an idiot. I guess I should've been more clear...How about this, " She lets go of my shoulders.

I look at her in confusion.

She scoots back slightly so we have more room between us. " Let's try it again. " She grins. " Hey Y/N, do you want to go on a date with me on Friday? "

My stomach churns from excitement. " I'd love to, Max. " I grin back.

Max's smile widens. " Really? You just made my day. "

I roll my eyes.

" I'll pick you up at 7. Sound like a plan? "

I nod. " I'll be...here. " I laugh slightly. A thought pops into my head. " Wait, does anyone know?- Or I guess, did anyone know we were dating? "

Max nods. " Yeah...our entire friend group. And my mom. "

I shake my head. " How did I not know? "

Max pulls me down onto the bed with her, our hands resting in a lazy hand hold. " Honestly, I'm not sure. I mean, Dustin's made a couple jokes about us dating. "

" I thought that was just him being...weird. " I mutter.

" Don't worry though. Our first official date, the one we both know about, is on Friday. " Max leans her head gently onto my shoulder.

How did I get so lucky to end up with a girl like Max?

[chiquititaosita]

Maki Zenin x Latina fem reader 🫶🏼🌶️👹

¡! ❞ synopsis: maki x latina reader varying headcanons, with slight mentions of nsfw descriptions, and suggestive writing

osita note: yall im making more soon asap, writing is back in the groove more gay shit coming soon! hope y’all love it @kenruu @sanjisblackasswife @yourrfavzxri @chrollohearttags @chocolatetheoristcloud @sanjis-all-blue @euphofic @roronoaswifey @cookiepie111 @sierae @hqkalon

maki being the girlfriend to write you notes on a sticky note in places you’ll be looking for stuff. “have a good day at work! fuck that bitch (coworkers name).”

Maki who spoils you by buying you food, and even cooking sometimes. She comes to terms with accepting the use of vicks vaporub and newspaper cones.

Maki Zenin being the girlfriend that literally checks you out unintentionally, and her sister calls her out.

“You’re checking her out aren’t you?”

“So she’s not your type.” “but that’s my girlfriend.”

“Hey she’s mine back off!” she gets jealous so fucking easily, and is kinda tóxica but we stan it.

You yelling at Maki and slapping her hand with a wooden spoon with a small hit. Then itadori with a PAM! because they attempted to eat your cooking that’s still raw and needs to be cooked thoroughly.

“Wash y’all’s damn hands!!” You’ll be yelling that in Spanish and putting your hands on your hips.

I mean if you you yell at Maki or anyone in español She’s gonna get her pushy wet, call it Niagara Falls up in this bitch.

“AYO THOSE ARE MY TITTIES!!” she’s gonna cover you up if you have a nip slip or a fashion mishap. Or get nobara to help you. She don’t mess with taken women, nobara goes after married men PURR

here y/n is just being fussy; and crying if she gets hurt, “who did this to you!?…” at first in her head she’ll be like oh shit.

“What happened…?” bitch will fight the whole jujitsu society and even risk her life as a sorcerer for you. BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU SO DEARLY INTO HER HEART.

ms girl loves your cooking and your body with stretch marks and freckles. “And I thought you were my breakfast.”

FaceTimes you when you’re on break, ALWAYS COMES HOME TO YOUR COOKING AND CLEANING. Because she’s never been taken care off because her dads a bitch. she starts showing affection to you slowly.

“i know you’re homesick, so i brought you pan dulce from the panadería.”

“you want me to help you with anything?” she really doesn’t know how to ask you for help, but instead she takes over the whole task on doing it.

“you need to be careful, okay?” overprotective 11/10

cuddles are necessary with her always

she’s always gotta be touching you on your thighs your ass or your titties, even the small of your back

“My girlfriends coming! And she’s gonna kick your ass!” The minute she feels somethings not right! 🏎️ nyooom!! She’s gonna use her cursed objects to find you AND KILL THEM MFS

Maki to the rescue. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She’s gonna kill these bitches with no mercy. Maki has already lost her mother and she can’t risk the chances of losing you.

She calls you mama, princess, baby, y/n love, love, love bug, sunshine.

Actually is learning Spanish for you. Even though it’s easy to understand by how you’re yelling at someone she’s just encouraging you with her hands up having a smirk on her face. “that’s my girl.”

especially for her voice being low and sounding like honey, when she calls you baby. she’s obsessed at how y’all dance together. Mai approves of you 9/10! only because maki didn’t tell her about you sooner.

if your cousins ask maki why her hair looks like mocos, she’ll just just not care. and whisper something super sinister in your cousins ears that’ll leave them terrified, and go back to eating.

kisses with maki are sweet and slow, even passionate at times, of course when it comes to pda she’ll show you off, but when y’all are alone and in private she’s mostly affectionate, and at her most vulnerable state

when you teach her how to flip a tortilla she instantly burns her finger, because the comal was hot. “fuck!” that leaves you to helping her with it. but you or maki wouldn’t change a thing

[writereleaserepeat]

This last month I've been enamored by @sowhumpshaped's interactive whump story, "Stray." It came to a beautiful end just a few days ago, and I was inspired to come out of the woodwork long enough to write a little fanfic. Make sure to go read their story before continuing here! It's a lovely work of art and I had so much fun seeing where it went. I miss the daily updates already!

This story is set twenty years after the main storyline of "Stray," and ten years after total pet liberation. It takes place in I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Disneyworld, and it features our MC (you!) meeting a ghost from their past.

CW: mentions of pet whump, second person POV, swearing

WC: ~2250

You run your tongue along the mountain of sweet vanilla cream, savoring its delicate flavor as it slowly melts in your mouth. With how much this ice cream cost, you were determined to enjoy every moment of its blissful respite from the summer heat. The mouse might know how to mark up its sweets, but it wouldn't steal away your enjoyment of this day, not even with an ice cream cone that cost an arm and a leg.

You're pulled from your thoughts by the sight of the ride coming to a halt beyond the fence. The harnesses begin to release and the children start pouring towards the exit, all smiles and laughters as they rush to find their parents on the other side. Your daughter is easy to spot, a tall girl - god, when did she get so tall? - with a glowing, gap-toothed smile.

Much to your surprise, she comes to greet you with another girl in tow, a child whose face reminds you of someone you can't place, their eyes sparkling with a hint of familiarity. A celebrity, maybe?

You don't have any more time to ponder before your daughter begins talking. She holds the other girl’s hand, a child who couldn’t have been a year older than her, and all but pulls her up to greet you.

"This is Delaney, we were on the ride together! She's so nice," Libby speaks in that same pleading tone you're never able to resist. "Please, please, please can we go to the next ride together?"

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” you say as sympathetically as you can, putting a palm on Libby's head. “We need to ask Delaney’s grown-up first.”

“My dad will say it’s okay,” Delaney says with a vigorous nod, “he’s right over there!”

She points towards a man striding in your direction, his hair long, but his gait familiar. As he brushes the hair from in front of his eyes, you freeze. You know those eyes. You’ll never forget those eyes, even if they’re set deeper in wrinkles now.

The world stops. For one painful moment, you don’t even feel your heart beat. It’s like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs.

But it wasn’t. You draw a breath, a deep breath that pushes hard against your ribs. You’re free. All the pets are free now, and they have been free for ten years. It had been another ten years before that since you’d last seen Rayan.

He recognizes you too, you can tell in the way his jaw slackens, dumbfounded. That glitter of recognition continues as he finally stumbles into earshot and his tongue begins to work.

“Thirt-"

“Not in front of my daughter,” you hiss, leaning in towards his ear as you do so. “Not in front of my fucking daughter.” You keep a smile on your face, only just, so your child doesn’t have to see you fall apart before her eyes.

He seems startled, startled enough to shut up for one moment. But silence had never been his strong suit, you could remember that much, the way he'd ramble on and on after his volunteer shifts. You'd always let him talk - not today. The dynamic had shifted. Today, you look him in the eyes as an equal.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Papa!” Delaney interjects, cutting Rayan off a second time. “I met this girl on the ride, her name’s Libby, she’s super fun, and super nice, and we want to go on another ride together.” She tugs on Rayan’s arm, but he doesn’t look down.

“Actually,” you say, pulling your daughter close to you, “I think we need to go catch up with Libby’s little brother and my partner.”

“Please?” Libby pleads again, staring at you with those doe eyes that always melt your heart. “Just one ride. It can be this one, we can do it again, we don’t even have to walk anywhere.”

Fuck.

What was almost twenty years of therapy worth if you couldn’t stand next to Rayan for another five minutes? You’d imagined talking to him a thousand times over, you’d thought painstakingly about what you’d say to him if you ever could, you'd prayed to his memory as much as you'd cursed it. But now, all you want is to walk away and never look at him again.

No more running. You'd promised yourself that almost two decades ago, and hell if you couldn't carry through with that promise today, especially with a family that needed you.

“Okay,” you concede, forcing a smile at Libby. She would never see you falter, not now, not ever. “You can ride this same ride one more time, just once, and only if you use your QuickCard to skip the line. We don’t want to get too far behind the rest of the family.”

“Sure,” Rayan says, voice measured. He smiles down at Delaney as well, but you can tell it's forced. “You can go too. Don’t forget, you only have three more taps on your QuickCard.”

“That’s okay!” Delaney chirps, already pulling Libby towards the line. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

And as the girls run in a tangle of limbs and laughter back into the ride's entrance, you’re left alone next to Rayan. The silence weighs heavily on your shoulders, and you feel the ice cream beginning to melt between your fingers. Then it's just you and Rayan, alone.

Not literally alone. You two are the furthest from alone you ever could be, stood next to a swinging steel pirate ship, amidst a park milling with tens of thousands of other people. But you can hardly hear the screams, the voices, the mechanical groans of the rides. Rayan’s presence next to you is suffocating.

You say nothing yet. What is there to say? You’ve said it all a million times before. To the shower walls, to your therapist, to the darkened skies in the early dawn. But none of it had ever compared to what you feel right now.

Something like hope begins to itch in your chest. Maybe this would give you closure, real closure, not the metaphorical closing of a book at the end of a therapy session. You've craved closure for so long. Could Rayan finally be this holy grail?

“I’m sorry,” Rayan says. If you didn’t know better, his voice sounded on the verge of breaking. “I’m sorry for everything.”

His swallow is louder than even the most cacophonous thunderstorm. He continues, tripping over his words, falling over himself with every syllable.

“Look, I was just doing my best. I mean, you were a kid, and I was basically still a kid too, and I was doing what I thought was best, just trying to help, you know? It’s been twenty years and I’ve never forgotten your face. And I mean, look at you now, here with your kids, this is what all the freed pets wanted, isn’t it? The chance to live like this?”

In that moment you know what you need from Rayan. It's what you've needed from him all along, even if you couldn't name it before now.

“Say it,” you mumble, struggling to find your voice. That hope for closure, god, you can feel it, you need it, and-

“What?”

“Say it,” you growl, more firmly this time. “You know what I need you to say.”

“Look, thir- whatever name you chose, I don’t know what you want from me.”

You finally look him in the eyes again.

“Say that I’m a person. Tell me that I’m a person.”

“Of course you are,” Rayan begins, and you watch him hold up his hands as he fights against his tongue's knots. “That’s what the Decree says. All pets had their legal status changed to reflect their unequivocal personhood.”

“That’s not what I asked. I know my pet lib history - likely better than you do. I want you to tell me that I, me, the living being standing in front of you, is a person.”

That nervous look in Rayan’s eyes tells you everything you need to know. The pregnant pause that follows is just painful confirmation. There would be no closure here for you today.

“Pathetic.” It takes all of your strength not to slap him in the face. “Twenty years and you haven’t learned a damn thing. The rest of the world has moved on from that nonsense and you can’t take five seconds to pull your head out of your ass.”

“Look," another swallow as Rayan wrings his hands. “Yeah, it’s been ten years, and still, there’s these studies, right? I'm sure they taught you to read in the, uh, the rehabilitation classes. There's studies that shows the pets that were liberated, they just aren't adapting to society as people do, you know? They don't excel at their jobs, they don't succeed in forming traditional family units, they engage in crime and anti-social behavior at much higher rates..."

You scoff and roll your eyes. All you can feel is the bile thick in your throat. Those studies, those lies, that propaganda, it would never stop. And people like Rayan would never stop feeding on it. You knew this, hell, you taught about it, at your community college's pet lib program. There would always be someone with an interest in the tyranny over 'pets,' be it emotional or financial, and it would succeed as long as people like Rayan were stupid enough to buy it.

"Look," Rayan says, putting his hands on the nearby railing as he looks away from you, "all I'm saying is, if you're a good- as good a soul as I think you are, you'd want what's best for your daughter, right? And, and maybe, well, maybe what's best for your family is how things used to be. You don't know for sure that things are better now. What if you're denying your family the chance to be taken care of, to truly thrive? What if they're not meant to be taken care of by, ah, by something like you?"

For a moment you think about striking him. You think about taking him to the ground, right there in the middle of the theme park, and pummeling him senseless. You want to beat that nonsense right out of his skull.

But that would prove his point, wouldn't it?

No. You know you can't do that. You can't wait for your daughter to come back and see your knuckles bloodied, this stranger choking on his own teeeth, your face contorted into an unfamiliar visage of rage. You weren't going to be a monster.

"You disgust me." The words are stickier than honey on your tongue. "Your vapid platitudes mean nothing. Your saviour complex has kept you stuck in the past while the rest of society is growing and learning from our sins. I'll always be grateful that you dragged me out of the trash that one day, and I'll always be grateful that you kept a roof over my head long enough for me to find my liberation. But I owe you nothing, not now, not ever again. I have my personhood - I always have. It's a shame you aren't using yours for something more meaningful."

You see a flash of pink out of the corner of your eye. Libby was coming back, running hand-in-hand with Delaney, that same joyful smile on her face. The smile of a child who had never seen the tyranny of the system you'd oncee been subdued by. The smile of a child who would learn just how important their personhood was, and always would be.

"Libby, darling, we need to go," you say as she comes within earshot. Your tongue is dry and sticky in your throat, and you need a drink of water. Your partner has water, wherever they are in the park now. You want to go to them now, seek the affirmation of everything you'd built in the time since you'd left Rayan behind all those years ago. You want to feel their comforting touch, something to ground you, to remind you of who you are. Who you've always been.

A good person.

Libby seems to wilt a bit, dejectedly dropping Delaney's hand from her own.

"Aw, but-"

"No buts. It's time to see what your brother is up to, and we have a lot of rides to catch before the day is over."

She pauses for a moment, and you can see her thinking it over. After another second she nods, seemingly convinced.

"Okay, as long as you promise to come on the next roller coaster with me."

"I promise," you say, reaching out a pinkie towards her. She hooks her pinkie in yours, and you take the opportunity to pull her close to you, away from Rayan, and away from the child he will undoubtedly raise to think just like him.

"Bye, Delaney! We're friends forever, okay?" Libby shouts over her shoulder as you begin to walk away.

"Bye Libby! Forever!" Delaney replies, giggling as she waves.

Your eyes meet Rayan's one last time. They're clouded with emotion, his lips pressed in a thin line. In spite of yourself, you smile at him once, and turn away.

"Alright, sweetheart," you speak to your daughter as the door to your past slams shut behind you. "Let's go have some more fun. We've got the whole day ahead of us."

[ereardon]

My Girl [Chapter 9][Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC]

Summary: Jake Seresin could be the answer to all of your dating woes. He’s the full package: steady job, mature, dependable, attractive to a fault. The polar opposite of every guy your age and he’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. But there’s one roadblock: he’s a single father to four-year-old Ellie. Jake is looking for a level of commitment you’re not quite sure you’re ready to give, and he’s not willing to bring someone into his daughter’s life who isn’t there for the long haul. And even if you are stepmom material, is Jake ready to let someone back in his life while still mourning the recent loss of his late wife? 

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Lawyer Natalie West]

WC: 2.4K

Warning: Age gap, cursing, fighting, light smut, angst, mention of death

Series masterlist here

Please fill out this form here to join my tag list

You had tossed and turned all night, debating whether or not to get up and leave. 

In the end, you fell asleep on the edge of the bed, Jake snoring softly next to you, blissfully unaware. 

How could you blame him? He was sleeping next to a warm body in the room he had shared with his wife for years. How could you fault his subconscious? 

But you can’t say it didn’t break your heart to feel his warm hands on your bare skin and her name on his lips as he brushed his mouth against your shoulder. How the ghosts of his touch were still hot across your skin, his essence still inside of you, your leg wrapped around his. 

It broke your heart to know that twelve hours before you had told him you loved him for the first time. 

Perhaps worse, knowing that he had been the one to say it first left you with more questions than answers. 

When you woke, the bed was empty. His absence gave you time to clear your mind, take a shower, rest your forehead against the cool marble counter of the bathroom and take in a deep breath before emerging into the kitchen where Ellie sat at the kitchen island on a bar stool, eating a bowl of fruit and yogurt. 

Both she and Jake looked up when you entered, their faces lighting up, and a pit grew in your stomach. For the first time, you realized just how much energy it took to be a parent, to shield your child from pain when all you wanted to do was crumble. How difficult it was to keep a smile plastered to your face when inside you felt like a melted ice cream cone. 

“Good morning,” Jake said softly, crossing the kitchen and to your shock, placing a kiss on your lips quickly. It was so brief it was almost a whisper, but you saw Ellie’s eyes on the two of you the entire time. 

It was a line, and Jake was crashing past it. 

“Sleep OK?” he asked, moving to the coffee machine and pouring you a mug before setting it down on the island in the place next to Ellie. You slid onto the barstool to her right and wrapped your shaky fingers around the mug, nodding as Jake poured cream on top of your coffee until it was a milk chocolate color. 

“Yup,” you said softly. Next to you, Ellie swirled her spoon around her bowl. “I should probably head home soon.”

“Really?” Jake frowned, leaning against the counter, one foot crossed in front of the other. He was still wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a soft henley top, his hair perfectly ruffled. He looked more handsome than ever, and it made your heart pang with longing knowing that you weren't sure how long you'd have with him. The events of the previous night had you doubting your future with Jake. “I thought maybe we could go to a movie.” 

You took another sip of your coffee before standing, dumping the rest in the sink and running the faucet to rinse it out. “I have a lot of work to catch up on from taking a half day on Friday,” you said. “Thanks for the coffee.” 

It was almost impossible to look at Ellie without tearing up. Something about her ethereal innocence made tears start to well behind your eyes. 

“Bye sweetie,” you said, reaching out and smoothing down her hair and she grinned. 

“Bye Natalie!” 

You headed down the hallway toward the foyer, grabbing your purse from the entryway table, digging your keys out of the side pocket. In the kitchen, you could hear Jake’s muffled voice, followed by his footsteps as he quickly jogged down the hall. “Nat?” he said softly, one hand coming out to rest on your upper arm. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you choked out but you knew it sounded like a lie the moment the words spilled from your lips. “I’ll talk to you later?”

You turned to open the door and Jake slid in front of you, worry creasing his handsome face. 

He reached out to gather you in his arms and you visibly flinched. Jake’s face fell. 

“Baby,” he murmured and you gave him a tight smile, reaching out to grab the door handle, pulling it open forcefully. 

You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll call you.” 

And then you disappeared out the door, leaving him in stunned silence in your wake. 

***

Two days passed with you dodging Jake’s evening calls, sending follow up texts to let him know that you were working late and didn’t have time to chat. It wasn’t necessarily a lie. You were working, but from the comfort of your couch, laptop warm on the TV tray you had spread across your lap. 

On day three, Jake left a voicemail when you didn’t immediately answer the phone. Your hands shook as you lifted your phone to listen.  

Hey baby. I know something is going on. I thought we were on the same page the other night, but I must have done something wrong. Whatever it is, we can work through it. I meant it when I said I love you. That hasn’t changed. Call me when you’re ready. I love you, Natalie. Talk to you soon. 

His message was so genuine it made you sob, curled in a ball on the couch. You had already started mourning him in your head, even though you loved him.

You weren't ready to lose him. But you were afraid you already had.

***

“She obviously regrets saying she loved me,” Jake said, lifting the paper coffee cup to his mouth. 

Rooster sat across from him at the cafeteria table, picking at a scone on top of a waxy brown paper bag. He shook his head. “I don’t know, man. I saw the way she was looking at you.” 

“It’s been four days,” he replied. “She hasn’t answered a single call, just texts me back after I call her with an excuse about why she didn't pick up.” 

“Have you tried to see her?” 

“No, she’s avoiding me.” 

“Maybe she’s just busy,” Rooster said, crinkling the corner of his pastry bag. “Nix and I can babysit tonight if you want to go over and talk to her.” 

“Really?” Jake sighed. “That would be awesome, thank you.” 

Bradley jiggled his leg under the table. “She seems like a nice girl,” he said after a moment. “But are you sure you know what you’re doing?” 

“What do you mean?” Jake looked up with hard eyes. 

Rooster simply shook his head. “I’m just thinking, if you saying I love you is enough to make her run, is she really the kind of girl you want helping to raise Ellie?” 

Jake stood up, snatching his empty coffee cup into his hands. “She’s absolutely the person I want raising Ellie beside me. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I know what I’m thinking. I love her. I’m going to do whatever I can to keep her.” 

***

You had ordered enough Chinese food to feed an entire elementary school class. So when the doorbell rang, you swung the door open without bothering to look through the peephole, already counting out a cash tip by the time your eyes lifted and you saw Jake staring back at you. 

“Hey honey,” he said sweetly and you smiled automatically despite yourself. 

“Jake. Hi.” You were awkward. 

He shifted his weight, still standing on the other side of the door frame. “Sorry to just show up, but I was hoping we could talk.” 

“Um,” you looked at your phone. The food was coming any minute. You couldn’t keep brushing him off. “Sure, come in.” 

Jake’s fingers grazed your sweater-covered arm as he slipped past you into the hallway and you shut the door, wandering back to the couch that you had just vacated, clearing room for Jake on the opposite end. 

“What’s up?” you asked innocently. 

Jake gave you a sad smile. “Honey, we both know you’ve been avoiding me since the weekend.” 

You couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t true. 

He sighed. “I just want to know what I did so I can fix it,” he said quietly. Jake leaned forward, taking your hands into his large, warm ones. “Nat, sweetheart. What did I do?” 

His green eyes were like two daggers staring into your soul. You had spent four days weighing your options of how to play the situation out. 

But in the end, it was easier to tell the truth. “You called me Lizzie,” you whispered and you watched as Jake’s jaw dropped. “The night I stayed at your house. While we were sleeping, you rolled over and called me Lizzie.” 

Jake was stunned. He pressed his hands against his face, dragging them down over his forehead and eyes and cheeks before looking back up and shaking his head. “Fuck, Nat. I’m sorry. Honey, I am so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” 

You could feel the prick of tears in the back of your eyes, that soreness building in your throat as you tried to choke them down. “Because I feel like I don’t have the right to be upset about it.” 

“You absolutely have the right to be upset about it,” he said instantly. “Natalie, I’m so sorry, but you have to know that I wasn’t awake when that happened. I would never consciously do that to you.” 

You shook your head. “No, I know that. Of course I know that. But it doesn’t negate the fact that maybe you’re not ready to move on.”

“That’s not true.” His voice was thin, barely a whisper. 

“Jake,” you said and your voice cracked on his name. “I don’t know how to do this. Date a widower. At first I thought Ellie was the big hurdle in our relationship but she really isn’t. Ellie is amazing and sweet and even though I was never a kid person before I met her, I really think I could be a part of her life if you let me.” You had to choke back a sob, and in front of you Jake’s eyes were slowly turning glassy. “It took me a minute to realize that our bigger issue is the fact that I’m not sure you’re really ready to be in a relationship.” 

“But I am,” he said and you heard the pain laced through his words, the slow and deliberate way that he replied. Like he was trying not to dissolve into tears. “Nat, sweetheart, trust me when I say that I want to be with you.” 

“Do you know what it’s like comparing yourself to someone every step of the way?” you asked softly. “I’m competing with a ghost, Jake. A perfect ghost. Lizzie was the love of your life and Ellie’s mom. I can never fill those shoes, even if I wanted to.”

Jake lurched forward, pulling you onto his lap, your arms automatically winding themselves around his neck. He brushed a chunk of hair from your face where it had fallen out of your low bun, and then let his thumb linger over your lips before moving down your jaw. “Sweetheart, I’m not sure how to say this, so I’m just going to try. Lizzie’s gone. I loved her, and a part of me is always going to love her. She was my wife. She is Ellie’s mom. But you can’t spend your entire life in mourning. She loved us so much, and she would have wanted us to be happy. Honey, you make me happy. I’m not looking for someone to replace Lizzie in our lives. I’m not looking for someone to swoop in and be my wife or be Ellie’s mom. I fell in love with you for who you are. I brought you into our lives because I wanted you. Not because I’m looking for a replacement for something that I’ve lost. So don’t let yourself think that you’re competing with a ghost. We’re not holding you to any standards or making comparisons. You’re perfect the way you are, sweetheart. I love you for exactly who you are.” 

Jake’s voice cracked at the end, and you leaned forward, pressing your chest against his, feeling his arms wind around you and tug you in tighter as you sat straddled on his lap. Jake’s fingers ran gently over your back, caressing you lovingly, and you felt tears softly soak the shoulder of his shirt where you laid your head. 

“Honey,” he whispered, fingers still tracing up and down the length of your spine. “Come back to me. Please. I can’t lose you.” 

You pulled back, placing one hand on each side of his face. “You’re not going to lose me. If it’s me that you want, then I’m right here.” 

***

You spent the night at Jake’s on Friday after going to see a movie with him and Ellie. 

Ellie had held your hand as you walked down the street to the theater. Later, when Jake put her to bed she requested that the two of you read her a bedtime story so the three of you had huddled onto her little pink bed and read a book together. 

Jake had kissed her forehead and you tiptoed out of her room, shutting the door softly. 

In the kitchen, Jake poured two glasses of wine and leaned over the granite island, taking one of your hands into his. “Are you OK?” he asked softly. 

You nodded. 

“Will you stay the night?” he asked. “Please?”

You had simply let Jake take your hand, lead you to the bedroom, help you strip off your clothes and settle into the fluffy bed. He held you in his arms, whispering praise into your ear as his fingers slid down your body, landing between your legs. Within minutes, Jake’s thumb circling your clit, index and middle finger thrusting inside of you, you were cumming on his hand, moaning softly into the pillow as Jake murmured, “That’s my girl. Such a sweet girl, cumming on my fingers like that. Such a perfect honey, I love to hear you moaning for me. You're so perfect, baby.” 

Afterward, Jake pulled you in close, your back pressed flush against his chest, one large hand spread over your stomach as his chin hooked on your shoulder. His lips brushed your temple and as you drifted off to sleep you felt Jake squeeze you in tighter, his husky voice delicate in your ear. 

“I love you, Natalie. So damn much. Sometimes I can’t believe that you’re mine. I love you, honey. Now go to sleep.” 

His words made warmth spread through your chest, but there was still a nagging feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. Somewhere in the dark recesses of your gut was a voice telling you not to get too comfortable. 

That Jake, for all of his handsomeness and intelligence and maturity, still didn’t realize what he was signing up for. What he was asking of you.

You were still worried that everything the two of you had carefully constructed sat on a ledge, just waiting to shatter. 

Tag list: @double-j @seresinhangmanjake @topguncultleader @hangmandruigandmav @momc95 @minamisulemisa @shawnsblue @blue-aconite @brehonodea @crthurston @angelbabyange @jason-toddsthighs @secretsicanthideanymore @taytaylala12 @mandylove1000 @mizzzpink @showmethewayhomehoney @tvjunkie08 @mygyn @wkndwlff @sadpetalsstuff @shanimallina87 @averyhotchner @oneelleandaneye @starrynightskyz @daddymack01 @buxkybarnez @pookie-cleary @clairedelarosa-blog  @princessofglitterland  @tiredqueen73 @lovingjakeseresin @lilyevanswhore @kurtkunkle17 @amortentiadrops @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @abaker74 @xoxabs88xox @novagreen04 @townmoondaltwistle @rosiahills22 @indynerdgirl @entertainmentgal8 @misshoneypaper @starkleila @ebonyhogan24 @rosewritesitout @sammysimpin @khaylin27 @localhockeygirl @eyesthatroll @wildxwidow @wildlyobserving @bellaireland1981 @wittywhispers-blog @xomrsalliej4787xo @rosiahills22 @oiseul @showmethewayhomehoney @callsign-joyride @teacupsandtopgun @jordanturpen @sexytholland @daddymack01 @pookie-cleary @eternalsams @djs8891

[hwa-stars]

Skirt lifter (Chapter 6)

Genre: High-school au, slow burning love, fluff, mention of mature language (+14)

Pairing: non!idol Park Seonghwa x fem!named reader

Summary: In which Park Seonghwa is accused of being a pervert.

Word count: 937

Taglist: @dinossaurz @babigriin @hecateslittlewitchling (if anyone wants to be added to the taglist, please comment)

Seonghwa was greeted by almost every student the we passed by, being next to him making small talk with everyone got me feeling very small.

"Seonghwa!" Someone called from behind.

"What's up Yeonjun." Seonghwa greeted him.

"Coukd you take a look at this? The adviser is asking for the final arrangement." The boy handed him some papers.

They started discussing about the paper, I decided to keep my distance and just waited for him outside. I sat on some benches and tuck my hands in my hoodie, how different Seonghwa and I are.

"You need to stop disappearing on me Pororo." Seonghwa suddenly appeared with his hands resting on his knees.

"Well, I'm still here." I pointed out obviously.

"I meant quit leaving without saying where you're going." I stood up and he looked at me.

"You were talking to someone and I didn't want to interrupt." I started walking ahead.

"You're not an interruption Pororo." He walked beside me "He was the one interrupting" He muttered.

"What did you said?" He shook his head.

"Anyways, where should we get ice cream?"

"We could just get some at a convenience store" I pointed out the nearest store.

"What? No!" He exclaimed.

"Why not?"

"I..." He trailed off looking at anywhere but me. "I don't eat ice cream in a plastic wrapper."

Is he kidding me? What a brat!

"You know they hace cones." I informed him.

"I don't like eating ice cream in cones, it's messy."

"They have them in plastic cups."

"I'm lessening my plastic consume." He blurted out "Save the planet!" He lifted his fist in the air.

"Yeah, we love an environmental advocate." I replied sarcastically.

"Aww, you love Pororo?" He cooed.

"Whatever, so where do you propose we go?" I crossed my arms.

"Let's go to the nearest ice cream store."

"And that would be?"

"It says here that the nearest store is..." He looked at his phone. "In downtown." He said with a smile.

"Are you kidding? That's like an hour from here."

"I know, so quit chatting Pororo." He started walking "We have no timemto wasted."

"Are you sure you want to go all the way there just for an ice cream?" Inasked incredulously.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I told you, I love ice cream."

☆☆☆☆☆

"I can't believe I'm doing this" I muttered when we take the bus. "Don't you have anything better to do?" I asked Seonghwa as he sit next to me.

"Nope."

"That doesn't mean I don't."

"Well do you have anything?" He glanced at me.

"Shut up." I muttered

"Quit with the whinning Pororo, we're gonna have so much fun."

"We're just gonna get ice cream. Not roam around downtown." I pointed out.

"You can't go to downtown and not roam around Pororo." He looked at me "That's an spoken rule."

"Says who?"

"Me."

☆☆☆☆☆

We managed to get to the ice cream shop, but it was Saturday so it was packed with people.

"Should we go to other store?" I asked

"No, they have th best ice cream in town." Seonghwa scanned the store. "Look Pororo! There's a table, go before someone else takes it." He pointed a couple leaving the table.

I sat down and observed the busy streets of the town, since it was getting dark the stores were turning their lights, illuminating the area. I looked across the street a guy performing and since my spot I had a perfect view and looked in awe at the guy, he was surrounding by a big audience who started clapping as he finished his performance and started getting ready for other song.

Seonghwa came back with two paper cups of ice cream, he set the vanilla one in front of me and he had a rainbow while sitting down next to me.

"You didn't asked what was my order." I said serious.

"Didn't you say at the bus that you like vanilla?"

"It doesn't mean that I was gonna be my order."

"Then, what would have been your order?" He smirked at me while eating his ice cream.

"Nevermind." I muttered and took a scoop of it. "How much is it?"

"It was free, they said it was free ice cream day."

"Oh really?" I asked and look at the counter. "Then why are those people paying?"

"Damn Pororo, let me treat you some ice cream." I shrugged and muttered a thank you.

"He looks hot." I said watching the guy performing again.

"You think he's hot?" Seonghwa shot me a look and I nodded.

"His dance was, all dancers are hot."

"I can do better." He hummed.

"Sure, sweetheart."

"I'm serious."

"I never said otherwise."

We continue watching the guy performance, until Seonghwa stood up from his seat.

"Where are you going?" I called out and he ignored me and exited the store.

Was he leaving me here, after dragging me to this place?"

Then I almost choke with the ice cream as I saw Seonghwa joinning the guy. They started dancing and even the people at the store take a peek at him and true true his words, Seonghwa was better than the guy his face expression change and he looked like a different person, Seonghwa shot me a wink and I blushed.

After a few minutes, Seonghwa came back and the people at the store clapped for him and he bow with a smile.

"Well Pororo?" He greeted me with a biggest smile I've ever seen.

"Your ice cream is melting Seonghwa." I point out the melting ice cream and he only shook his head with the same smile.

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Decided to do some channel surfing of my own and transcribe some real TV snippets to use for Vox's dialogue at some point.

"We’re celebrating the legends."

"–and they pull these people out of the bus one by one. They’re risking their lives, being toppled over by the wind, getting hit, one of these people could easily get killed."

"Goooo England!" "Hi! We’re going away for a while and we wanted you to know where, since you’d worry and wonder."

"Bon Appetit." "Thank you very much. That’s a nice place. Always listen to a gas station attendant. They know where to eat." "Uh huh."

"So that was all taken and analyzed. They mentioned to us, they said, hairbrush, uh, it had *name*’s hair in there, but also found a, uh… synthetic hair."

"–to tell you that your shower doesn’t work as well as you think it does and *name* is clinically proven to work better than a shower with soap. Give *name* a try and see what happens because your body has never been so odor-free as it will be with *name.*"

"–the logistics can get a little crazy. So on the day of the book signing, what happened?" "Well, the books weren’t there." "Okay, then what did you do?" "So I went into overdrive and ran down to *name* and got some–"

"At the moment, it’s going to primarily be me, but after talking to our son and that ability–"

"I remember the little drink from the same bar, in the same bar." "How old were you when you went?" "Twenty-eight. I honestly didn’t prefer that type of beer. I prefer blondes."

"A technician tweaks the machine’s computer program to fine-tune the drop-off coordinates. After all, releasing the cones too soon could cause them to topple."

"Your ears must be burning! Do you think you could do me a favor? Can I get a few more of those pain killers." "Shoulder acting up again?" "Obviously, that’s why I’m calling you."

"Mommy, why did someone kill Daddy?" "People do bad things–"

"Please don’t hate me." "Think I’m gonna go check on the rest of the horses." "I’ll see you around, okay?"

"That balance is key to a healthy gut environment. *Name* plant-based, prebiotic fiber gently nourishes the good bacteria, working with your body to help your gut and you flourish effortlessly every day. Grow what feels good, with *name.*"

"–Man will lend people money the spur of the moment." "You are married to one of the wealthiest women in Georgia. Why do you need to go to a loanshark? All you have to do is ask your wife!"

"A 50% discount on a second one! You get it all! An incredible value! Order now!"

"Yes it is." "Take off your shirt." "Okay." "Oh, we’re gonna need more wax!" "I’m staying, this is gonna be good!"

"Perhaps finding your perfect match. Too good to be true can be true. New *name* cold brew."

"Oh, you don’t know?"

"The prosecution laid out their case using an enormous amount of evidence, including one of the getaway vehicles, the note found in *name*’s house on which the crime stoppers’ tip ID number had been written."

"–could have hoodwinked it. Magic way beyond the talents of a fourth-year!" "You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, *name*!" "It was once my job to think as dark wizards do, *name*, perhaps you–"

"I swam for about five minutes. The shore wasn’t getting any closer. I felt really weak."

"Our aviary team cares for our shoebill here, currently. Because this animal is going to be living with *name*, our primate team will actually be caring for her, so it’s really important that they work together."

"*Censored* idiot!" "Oh, now I’m an idiot?"

"Step out of their homes and paddle past wild mangrove forests, just as people have been doing on the Florida coast for centuries."

"–the horrors of the first World War that they had to really think the unthinkable." "The mergers creates one of the most prolific car making entities in history. A company that will go on to bring in over one hundred billion dollars."

"Its main objective: go out and rip open the enemy armor like a can opener with an attitude. Fire!"

"May lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems." "With *name,* I’m losing weight," "I’m keeping it off," "And I’m lowering my CB risk!" "That’s the power of we!"

"It was a game changer for my patients." "Try *name* mouthwash."

"Why take less when you can get a beefy, five-layer burrito, a chalupa supreme, a double stacked taco, and a drink for just $7?"

"Representative!" "Command unclear. Goodbye." "Hello?" "Flight cancelled." "With *name,* nothing stands between you and what you want to watch. Just say “for you” into your *name* voice remote to jump back into your favorites."

"–in your state have problems with taking that out. That is not Pennsylvania!" "When I went to the judge to get released. Y’all keep playing these games with me!"

"It’s showtime for the *name* tour bus." "Riding on a bus, you have a lot of time. Time to create. That’s what our clients do. They create music."

"–they were given what they considered physical proof. One Alaskan native said that they had ivory to prove it."

"He was actually just saying last night 'Ah! I should’ve ask for something for drinks and wine and things like that.'" "Okay, we’re way ahead of you. We felt the vibes, you know, that kinetic energy. Ha ha ha!"

"Oh, what a beautiful day. So, today’s the day we give the dome back to the *name* family, and we are ready to go. Perfect!"

"*Name* helps me to look on the outside the way I feel on the inside." "When you order *name* today, you get all of this: a $247 value! That’s already an incredible deal at $69.95! But smart shoppers who use the promo code “SAVE20” will get an additional $20 off!"

"–of the United States, because *name* has no other pathway." "Is it winning or is it reducing the amount by which *indecipherable* rural voters? You have a very large rural population."

"You just kinda see through the mirror them seeing themselves for the first time." "That was the start of my new life and it was very emotional."

"Offended me. I heard messages that didn’t sit well with me. Actually– what is his name– Richard, a good old boy. He was a good guy, I liked him."

"Which I will discharge, unconditional, to honor the new president-elect and do everything possible to help him bring Americans together in fulfillment of the great vision that our declaration of independence defines–"

"So, *name* is going to get us to AGI?" "You know, we are committed to making foundational progress, uh, towards AGI and bold and responsible way, and so, you know, focus on the effort to do that."

"But he vows to fight to prove that he had nothing to do with the abduction of convenience store clerk, *name,* back in 1994." "Well, I’d rather die out there than die in here."

"Except that it means people are taking fewer precautions in spreading other STDs. Two other diseases bear mentioning: common illnesses like flu and strep throat have–"

"–information is so impactful is because it has been researched. They understand that these are the messages that are going to break through and seize hold and make people uncomfortable. So I think that one of the things that’s different about the fear mongering now, is that it actually–"

"But the fact is, right after that, she got all types of blowback on social media. Everybody saying 'Oh my God, is she actually a *name* fan?' Which to her– you know, something I love that she did–"

"–double eagle. Each coin is struck in .25 *indecipherable* ounces of .999 pure silver. The final issue price was to be set at $39 per coin, but during this–"

"Look, check my computer, my records, whatever you want. We run a legitimate business here." "You give us permission to search the premises?" "Yes, yes, if you need to. I have nothing to hide."

"So chic, so sleek."

"You’re all clear kid! Now, let’s blow this thing and go home!" "Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!" "Remember, the Force will be with you, always."

"Over two grand! See how much you can save when you dare to compare! In store or at *name*.com"

"At *name,* we know that not all paint is created equal. So they do it right. Start with our most durable paint–"

"For a limited time, *name* just dropped the price of every foot-long in the app to $6.99! Wait, *name* did what?! $6.99 foot-long?!"

"Who. did. this?" "We did. One way or another, *name* always gets his man. And like that, they were gone."

"Who are you? What’s your phone nu–" "What’d I miss?" "The cases of *name*: all new, Friday at 9:00. On *name.*"

"Yeah. Yeah, it was so nice to meet you all. Buddy, come on, let’s do this." "Thanks to my awesome team, we were able to make this house look so cool, and we got a strong offer of $360,000."

"–outside my door / Hello / Is it me you’re looking for?"

"*Name*! I don’t have much time *name,* so let me get straight to it. Did you or did you not put your name into the *name*?" "No!" "Shh! I had to ask."

"–separate and equally important groups. The police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."

"I think *name* understands me. When I’m speaking to her, she cuts me off, or she’ll be like 'No, no. I know, I know, I know.'" "Ooo, that’s not good. Where do you think this is going to end up?" "I don’t know, but they have to talk it out!"

"This house has its challenges, but they wouldn’t trade it for the world." "Heyyyy! It’s looking good!" "Yeah, it’s gettin’ there, right?" "Yeah, babe!"

"It’s these moments at the table with family and friends– "perfect!" –that matter most."

"Just like the Bermuda Triangle, the Alaska Triangle is a place of mysterious events and unexplained phenomena. And one of the strangest stories has emerged from the depths–"

"What an *censored*! Can you imagine having that guy on your tail? 'Yeah, I might be going slow, but you’re behind me, *censored*!'" "I look into the viewfinder like–"

"–ample way of moving your couch around?" "Nuh-uh. It’s an exercise class where you punch and you kick til you can’t think of anything else no more. No, uh, no, actually. Punch, kick, kick, squats!"

"Beautiful is an understatement, *name*, and it’s also one of the best bodies of water in the nation. Look at those day one waits for our top ten." "Yeah, very much, uh, tightly grouped there in the top ten. *Name* on top."

"–team to the Super Bowl. I think *name* hit upon it, and last night was a perfect of. That *name*'s offense is–"

[captainknell]

*BOOK REVIEW*

Alright. This is gonna be a long review so bear with me. If you want the short version, here you go: it's great and you should read it! If you want the long version, see below :)

So I had my misgivings about the summary before reading. But I'm glad I gave it a chance. Never judge a book by its... summary? Because the cover is lovely! ( @suburbanbeatnik aka @trashpoppaea )

Here's a bit of summary from me, but I don't want to go too far and give away anything: So the story is about a young woman named Amelie who is the daughter of Napoleon's chef. She is a kitchen maid that also does some gardening of herbs and things. She is 19 at the beginning of the story when they all first arrive on the island of exile, St. Helena. She is an aspiring writer of erotic stories, despite being a virgin. She wants Napoleon to take notice of her and begins singing in hopes that he will hear. He does! He proposes that she do lessons and she begins her friendship with Napoleon. Over the course of the book, the friendship becomes more and she longs to be his mistress. People try to dissuade the relationship, especially her father, who knows there is something inappropriate in their supposed innocent friendship. Count Montholon and his wife become very jealous that a kitchen maid is taking all of Napoleon's attention away from them. Even Napoleon, although he desires Amelie, respects her and wants to "keep her pure" despite all the rumors that are flying around the island about them. There are also secret plots of escape and maybe even someone attempting to poison the Emperor. I'll stop there so I don't ruin everything ;)

Personal connections: I think I connect to this book and Amelie is particular because I too was once a teenage girl trying to write a book about things I hadn't yet experienced. 🫣 Throughout the book she mentions what her characters are doing and it parallels her changing relationship with Napoleon. That's a very real thing. When your book is based off of real people and you are mad at them, the characters reflect that. I thought it was a nice touch.

Historical aspects: Amazing! Let me tell you, the moment that the desk was mentioned, I cried like the sentimental silly goose that I am. (I have an obsession with Napoleon's desk from St. Helena, if you don't know lol.) Also it's mentioned how big and spacious Napoleon's tub is and I thought that was a realistic detail to point out. As someone who has bathed in one of his marble tubs, it's so real. Like I thought a tub was a tub until I experienced that one. (Yeah I'm kinda obsessed with the tub, too.) I looked up what his tub there looked like and I'll put a picture at the end, but it's a copper tub. Another thing I noticed, was mention of the sugar cone. It could have just said Amelie got some sugar, the end. But back then that's how sugar was sold and I thought it was such a nice touch. I felt like I was really there, experiencing the desk, the tub, the sugar cone, the island, the time period. No one would notice if she hadn't included these details, but I certainly noticed them being there and appreciate the research.

Characters: And I thought it was impossible to hate anyone more than Sir Hudson Lowe on that forsaken rock! Well this book has me hating Montholon and especially his wife, Albine. This book goes with the poison theory that was getting me shot down in my review of Alan Schom's book. I'm just saying I'm not 100% convinced against it still. 🤷‍♀️ (Maybe I'm on board since I spent some of my childhood believing that I was being poisoned while suffering a mysterious stomach ailment?) But also, where are Gourgaud and Las Cases? They were not in the book, nor was Betsy Balcombe? I suspect that Amelie was like an alternate, older substitute for her based on the friendship that she and Napoleon shared before the sexual aspects of the book took place.

The end: Ugh I want so badly to make some comments on that but I will refrain! If you've read it, message me and I'll say what I want to say about it if you want.

Anyways I highly recommend it! I was a little embarrassed by the romance aspects at first, as I've never read a book like that before 😳 my husband was laughing at me lol but here's the picture of the copper tub I promised!

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 10: I BREAK A FEW ROCKET SHIPS

Jeez, already half done and the quest only just now officially started. I can't get over how strangely short these books are.

PJOPJOPJO

"Zombies made you hungry?" Percy cracked a grin at her. "Really Rachel?"

"I've heard an awful lot about those magical fridges," she nodded seriously. "Show me around Perce?"

"There's not much to show," but he very reluctantly set the book back aside and agreed to show her out.

Thalia watched them go with a guilty sense of relief. She was well aware Annabeth used to be greatly jealous of Rachel, but they had recently made friends, and Percy had never looked twice at the frizzy redhead after he and Annabeth kissed under that lake.

No, it wasn't guilt her little sister's boyfriend was off smiling, reluctantly, but one that had been missing all morning with another girl.

It was guilty relief for Percy being gone for just a moment. Not pissed at her this time.

She didn't know what else she could do to help but hope Rachel eased the tension that hadn't left his face since he remembered Annabeth going over that cliff.

So distracted was she intently watching the door, ears trained for the slightest peep of unease that she might need to intervene if Percy lost it again and their Oracle needed a save, she didn't notice someone flopping down in Percy's abandoned seat until he spoke to her.

"You knew I didn't belong here too, didn't you?"

She dragged her eyes away from one pseudo pain in the butt little brother, to a blonde-haired, blue-eyed guy from California with a scar on his lip watching her with that same inquisitive face that asked every day why the sky was changing colors and when he could watch it happen again.

Halcyon Green was nuts, a mad old demigod out to torment them... She remembered how different her dad had been the second time he'd come around, more formal, and how Jason used Roman god's names so casually... it wasn't possible...

"Huh?" She asked, realizing he'd said something else.

"I asked if you were okay," he murmured gently. There was a wavering to the way he spoke now, his curiosity reigning in here most of the time, but occasionally like now still slipping into the stiff, confused tones of when he'd first come down here. He most definitely came across as a concerned leader asking after a prisoner of war right now.

"No," she admitted. "You're like a ghost to me," she put on a brave smile that didn't fool him one bit. "Don't worry about it. Yes, I suspected something was off about you, but it's so strange and unique. I can't fathom how you've survived so long on your own. Percy, well, the gods shouldn't have allowed you to be your age without you being at camp. It'll be explained later. Something about you is..." she couldn't finish, she didn't know how to articulate the insane possibility before her.

He looked disappointed, but not surprised.

"If Rachel has a gut feeling about you then I trust her," she waved vaguely to where Alex and Magnus were having another ASL study session. Annabeth's cousin whom she'd never mentioned, family whom she was never comfortable talking about. She was being foolish, Oceanus was to dense to have connected lost relatives together on anything more than an accident. "We'll figure out what your story is Jason, I promise the Hunters will search the corners of the globe to figure it out when we get out of here." Nobody should have to live like Percy was now.

"Thanks," he whispered, but there was no hint of relief in his troubled, stiff mouth. She swallowed as he kept watching her, as if still waiting for her to spill the rest of her secrets to this mirror of a stranger. 

It wasn't possible, it couldn't be possible. 

Beryl Grace had said he was dead...but she was a drunk who went crazy on her own beauty for catching the same god's attention twice...the very same god?

"You can stay," Thalia said firmly when Rachel and Percy came back eating ice cream cones. Will and Nico had gone back and forth too, though the Norse kids hadn't. They'd also been snacking the entire time they were here and hoarding food in all pockets of their clothes, so clearly that silent conversation had taken precedence this time. "Drag that beanbag over here, I don't bite."

Jason stalled, gave her a cautious smile, and then did exactly that as he dragged the woven cushion to her other side without unraveling a single seaweed from it.

Thalia's suspicions weren't soothed though, as something clicked into place when she turned a curious frown on the Son of Hades. 'You knew too'... Had Jason just been talking about Rachel? If Jason was the very same Jason back from the dead, could Nico have something to do with it? That boy was always off doing his own thing...if he knew something-

Alex laughed flamboyantly as always at the new chapter title Percy read. "One is never enough with you!"

"Break them how though?" Jason asked the real question while his scar wiggled at his twitching smile. "Over somebody's head? The security for yelling at you?"

"Can you set those on fire?" Magnus grinned along. "The one thing I would have thought would be safe from Percy's talent."

Thalia was to busy trying to muffle a laugh at the look on that Nemon Lion's face when Percy had thrown space food in its mouth to laugh along, but it wasn't exactly subtle. Nico wasn't going anywhere anymore than them, and Percy's distress was her priority right now.

"Oh, oo," Will started bouncing in his seat in excitement and Nico watched him with interest, "did you know Colin Cantwell designed the ships for both Star War's and A Space Odyssey! I hope they have a replica of one of his models in there!"

"They redid the Odyssey in space?" Nico asked blankly. Will's smile somehow got brighter every time he found out he got to show Nico something new.

"You see what I've had to go through," Percy waved at them while looking pleadingly at Rachel for some sanity to insist they don't linger on these silly things.

She merely smiled back, and said, "do you have any idea how expensive those are Percy? I'm so proud of you!"

"You're all hopeless," but he couldn't help laughing along too.

I tore across the Mall, not daring to look behind me. I burst into the Air and Space Museum and took off my invisibility cap once I was through the admissions area.

The main part of the museum was one huge room with rockets and airplanes hanging from the ceiling. Three levels of balconies curled around, so you could look at the exhibits from all different heights. The place wasn't crowded, just a few families and a couple of tour groups of kids, probably doing one of those holiday school trips. I wanted to yell at them all to leave, but I figured that would only get me arrested.

"Speaking from experience?" Rachel asked.

"I've never actually been arrested," Percy vaguely answered. Gabe had threatened to send him to juvie on more than one occasion, and that wasn't a threat he'd ever taken lightly.

 "You could have just pulled the fire alarm," Magnus reminded, "always a surefire way to get people to evacuate."

"I wanted all those people to flee the state, they would just huddle around the building and get more people there," Percy huffed.

I had to find Thalia and Grover and the Hunters. Any minute, the skeleton dudes were going to invade the museum, and I didn't think they would settle for an audio tour.

"Not everyone shares the same hobbies," Will nodded seriously.

"Someone needs to tell Oceanus that," Percy grumbled.

I ran into Thalia—literally. I was barreling up the ramp to the top-floor balcony and slammed into her, knocking her into an Apollo space capsule.

"I bet your dad has a piece of himself there every day and brags to all the other gods about it," Nico grinned.

"I'm pretty sure he claimed once at least half of NASA were descendants of his," Will agreed.

Grover yelped in surprise.

Before I could regain my balance, Zoe and Bianca had arrows notched, aimed at my chest. Their bows had just appeared out of nowhere.

When Zoe realized who I was, she didn't seem anxious to lower her bow. "You! How dare you show thy face here?"

"Never crossed her mind for a second he was innocently and conveniently on a field trip there?" Magnus smirked.

"No," Thalia rolled her eyes at being on the same page as Zoe, again.

"Percy!" Grover said. "Thank goodness."

Zoe glared at him, and he blushed. "I mean, um, gosh. You're not supposed to be here!"

"Geez, who knew you'd get the kid in the divorce," Percy told Thalia.

"You were saving that joke when he was held by Polyphemus, weren't you?" Thalia grinned.

"That's not the point," he scoffed.

"Luke," I said, trying to catch my breath. "He's here."

The anger in Thalia's eyes immediately melted. She put her hand on her silver bracelet.

"If anyone deserves to be bashed in the face with that shield, it's him," Alex nodded in savage agreement.

Thalia was doing so again in here, but Percy and Jason suspected that troubled look contained more hurt and memories than a bashing was forthcoming.

"Where?"

I told them about the Natural History Museum, Dr. Thorn, Luke, and the General.

"The General is here?" Zoe looked stunned. "That is impossible! You lie."

"Why would I lie?

Percy spoke in tandem with the book, and Thalia couldn't stop a laugh at the exact same level of indignation.

Jason gave a concerned whistle though. "Her mistrust of you runs deeper than I originally thought, I don't even know if it's safe for you to be on this quest. She might desert you at the first chance."

"Don't care," Percy said at once. If he had to dog, track, and hopscotch his way after their every move he would just to get one step closer to finding Annabeth.

Thalia frowned at Jason, wanting to defend Zoe, but knowing she couldn't yet. It wasn't a wrong assumption, just incomplete data of who her predecessor really was.

Look, there's no time. Skeleton warriors—"

"What?" Thalia demanded. "How many?"

"Twelve," I said. "And that's not all. That guy, the General, he said he was sending something, a 'playmate,' to distract you over here. A monster."

Thalia and Grover exchanged looks.

"We were following Artemis's trail," Grover said. "I was pretty sure it led here. Some powerful monster scent... She must've stopped here looking for the mystery monster. But we haven't found anything yet."

"Zoe," Bianca said nervously, "if it is the General—"

"It cannot be!" Zoe snapped. "Percy must have seen an Iris-message or some other illusion."

Jason felt a flicker of unease why Zoe seemed so adamant of where this guy should and shouldn't be. Was it all distrust of the boy being unreliable, or did she have some actual knowledge she was withholding?

"Illusions don't crack marble floors," I told her.

Zoe took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. I didn't know why she was taking it so personally, or how she knew this General guy, but I figured now wasn't the time to ask.

"For once I have to agree," Magnus gave a surly nod. The one time he understood why someone couldn't just spout the answer already.

Jason's unease only rose though what she wasn't saying about this guy, and hoped it hadn't gotten anybody killed.

"If Percy is telling the truth about the skeleton warriors," she said, "we have no time to argue. They are the worst, the most horrible... We must leave now."

"Good idea," I said.

"I was not including thee, boy," Zoe said. "You are not part of this quest."

Percy winced without surprise, he hadn't needed Jason to remind him he was unwanted, and Zoe wasn't going to make it easy on him. His conviction to gawk these Hunters like a satyr was as strong as ever.

"Hey, I'm trying to save your lives!"

"You shouldn't have come, Percy," Thalia said grimly. "But you're here now. Come on. Let's get back to the van."

"I accept that," Percy sighed with a reluctant smile at Thalia. At least she wasn't calling him a liar and telling him to leave too.

She gave him a much quicker smile back and let out another breath of ease. Percy had never been good at holding grudges against his friends.

"That is not thy decision!" Zoe snapped.

Thalia scowled at her. "You're not the boss here, Zoe. I don't care how old you are! You're still a conceited little brat!"

"You never had any wisdom when it came to boys," Zoe growled. "You never could leave them behind!"

Thalia looked like she was about to hit Zoe.

"That's not a match I want to see," Will winced. If Percy and Thalia had nearly destroyed their camp, those two probably would have leveled the state.

It would never come to that now, and Thalia swallowed old, bitter tears how much she still hated Zoe for being right about that. She wouldn't learn her lesson any time soon either, she wasn't leaving here without her friend.

Then everyone froze, I heard a growl so loud I thought one of the rocket engines was starting up.

Below us, a few adults screamed. A little kid's voice screeched with delight: "Kitty!"

"I'm guessing it's not the cute baby sabers back?" Magnus asked uneasily.

"What are the odds of Space Kitty on display?" Rachel sighed, knowing chances weren't in her favor.

Something enormous bounded up the ramp. It was the size of a pick-up truck, with silver claws and golden glittering fur. I'd seen this monster once before. Two years ago, I'd glimpsed it briefly from a train.

"Does everything in the past come to bite me in the ass?" Percy demanded.

Thalia didn't answer, which felt like an answer he didn't want to hear anyways.

Now, up close and personal, it looked even bigger.

"The Nemean Lion," Thalia said. "Don't move."

"It's not a t-rex!" Will yelped.

Nico let out an impressed whistle though and whispered the Nemean Lion's card stats, that had been the first rare card he ever got. "What's this have to do with dinosaurs?" He found himself being gratefully distracted from his past to ask. He wondered if Will heard the curiosity in his voice, he loved dinosaurs too and had slept in more than one museum in a spinosaurus exhibit.

Will gave him a promising smile and said, "it's another movie you have to watch."

He was clearly compiling a list in his head, and Nico couldn't think of a downside to that for a moment...right Tartarus.

The lion roared so loud it parted my hair. Its fangs gleamed like stainless steel.

Rachel's eyes widened in awe, and her hands spasmed in frustration she couldn't be reaching for something to sketch that image right now.

"What did his breath smell like?" Alex asked with interest.

Percy considered for a moment with a wrinkled nose. "Tires, catnip, and death."

"An extravagant new cologne I'm sure," Thalia snorted.

"Does he chase cars down the freeway?" Nico asked, keeping to himself how smug he used to be when he played a hellhound against this card as a sacrifice move to summon Cerberus, though he'd never do that to Mrs. O'Leary now. They might be terrifying playmates.

"I didn't ask," Percy snorted.

"Separate on my mark," Zoe said. "Try to keep it distracted."

"Until when?" Grover asked.

"Until I think of a way to kill it. Go!"

"That's a great answer," Jason begrudgingly approved.

I uncapped Riptide and rolled to the left. Arrows whistled past me, and Grover played a sharp tweet-tweet cadence on his reed pipes.

"Is he trying to distract him with bird calls?" Magnus yelped.

"Not a bad strategy," Nico smirked as he imagined a skeleton bird hopping around.

I turned and saw Zoe and Bianca climbing the Apollo capsule. They were firing arrows, one after another, all shattering harmlessly against the lions metallic fur. The lion swiped the capsule and tipped it on its side, spilling the Hunters off the back. Grover played a frantic, horrible tune, and the lion turned toward him, but Thalia stepped into its path, holding up Aegis, and the lion recoiled. "ROOOAAAR!"

"I don't need Grover's translation for that one," Will muttered.

"Hi-yah!" Thalia said. "Back!"

The lion growled and clawed the air, but it retreated as if the shield were a blazing fire.

For a second, I thought Thalia had it under control. Then I saw the lion crouching, its leg muscles tensing. I'd seen enough cat fights in the alleys around my apartment in New York. I knew the lion was going to pounce.

"Confirmed, Percy likes watching the kittens wiggle their tails," Thalia, as usual, seemed the least concerned about the whole impending doom of them all almost dying, especially herself.

"You've clearly never heard an actual cat fight," Percy shook his head with dread in his stomach. Those deep cat hisses with their fur on end that sent shivers up his spine, their claws ripping off chunks of ear and matting themselves in blood. It was brutal, and Thalia would have been a goner.

"Hey!" I yelled. I don't know what I was thinking, but I charged the beast.

"There's that phrase again," Jason said in exasperation. If this guy ever thought before he moved he might be unstoppable. Even as an impulsive lunatic he was pretty close.

Rachel looked at Percy in admiration his heroics were such an ingrained part of him and tried to map out a color wheel in her mind which would best be used to depict that.

I just wanted to get it away from my friends. I slashed with Riptide, a good strike to the flank that should've cut the monster into Meow Mix, but the blade just clanged against its fur in a burst of sparks.

"And dropping a rocket on its head will do the trick?" Alex asked, though she could now easily imagine why all the breaking came into play.

"Why was a Fury one of the easiest things to kill and she still terrified the piss out of me?" Magnus asked. He'd really like it if each of these things stopped having a gimmicky way they needed to die! Especially another magical beast...as he wondered about those wolves again- nope. One trauma at a time, and Alex was already studying him again for the new stress in his voice.

The lion raked me with its claws, ripping off a chunk of my coat. I backed against the railing. It sprang at me, one thousand pounds of monster, and I had no choice but to turn and jump.

"Plunge to the death the sequel?" Nico muttered. He was proud of himself though he was no longer sitting like a jaw-dropped idiot Percy hadn't managed to fell this beast in one swoop. It wasn't even because he was distracted wondering what his sister would have had to say about Percy being there before they were interrupted.

I landed on the wing of an old-fashioned silver airplane, which pitched and almost spilled me to the floor, three stories below.

An arrow whizzed past my head. The lion jumped onto the aircraft, and the cords holding the plane began to groan.

The lion swiped at me, and I dropped onto the next exhibit, a weird-looking spacecraft with blades like a helicopter. I looked up and saw the lion roar—inside its maw, a pink tongue and throat.

Its mouth, I thought. Its fur was completely invulnerable, but if I could strike it in the mouth...

"Throw your sword in there!" Jason and Alex yelled at once.

"Do I look like I do javelin events for fun?" Percy protested. "Then I'd be unarmed until it came back!"

"That's a really good idea though Percy," Thalia said with a brilliant smile. She didn't even sound insultingly surprised. Who knew looking into the maw of death could ever cause a good idea? "I promise I won't tell PETA on you."

"You're one to talk, Huntress," Percy chuckled along now.

The only problem was, the monster moved too quickly. Between its claws and fangs, I couldn't get close without getting sliced to pieces.

"Zoe!" I shouted. "Target the mouth!"

The monster lunged. An arrow zipped past it, missing completely, and I dropped from the spaceship onto the top of a floor exhibit, a huge model of the earth. I slid down Russia and dropped off the equator.

Thalia winced now though, at the casual reminder Percy had dropped off the face of the Earth and Annabeth was still out there losing her mind with worry.

The Nemean Lion growled and steadied itself on the spacecraft, but its weight was too much. One of the cords snapped. As the display swung down like a pendulum, the lion leaped off onto the model earth's North Pole.

"Grover!" I yelled. "Clear the area!"

Groups of kids were running around screaming. Grover tried to corral them away from the monster just as the other cord on the spaceship snapped and the exhibit crashed to the floor. Thalia dropped off the second-floor railing and landed across from me, on the other side of the globe.

Alex tried her hardest not to bust out laughing the two were the opposite of polar opposites of each other back then when they were after the same goal. The problem was they were too similar.

The lion regarded us both, trying to decide which of us to kill first.

Zoe and Bianca were above us, bows ready, but they kept having to move around to get a good angle.

"No clear shot!" Zoe yelled. "Get it to open its mouth more!"

The lion snarled from the top of the globe.

I looked around. Options. I needed...

The gift shop. I had a vague memory from my trip here as a little kid. Something I'd made my mom buy me, and I'd regretted it. If they still sold that stuff...

"Thalia," I said, "keep it occupied."

"Oh come on, now even you're doing it!" Magnus groaned. Annabeth wasn't even in danger and he was still on the edge of his seat, wide eyed to hear what was next. He hadn't even freaked out over a metal-coated lion being around, that much.

Alex was almost disappointed he finally seemed to be adapting to this world. She missed his dumbstruck face almost as much as she enjoyed watching him get invested in these.

She nodded grimly.

"Hi-yah!" She pointed her spear and a spidery arc of blue electricity shot out, zapping the lion in the tail.

"That is one way to keep it occupied," Rachel agreed proudly.

"And help it decide who to kill first," Jason said faintly.

"ROOOOOOOAR!" The lion turned and pounced. Thalia rolled out of its way, holding up Aegis to keep the monster at bay, and I ran for the gift shop.

"This is no time for souvenirs, boy!" Zoe yelled.

"I don't know what she's on about," Alex scoffed, "I would kill for a lion throw rug right now."

"I don't think The Air and Space Museum sells those," Magnus helpfully reminded. "Unless there really is a space kitty on display and we've been lied to about a lot more than aliens."

"I'm withholding judgment," Alex shrugged.

"Why is it every time I come up with a plan people are calling me crazy or think I'm fleeing?" Percy protested.

"No faith," Will agreed sympathetically. He didn't even know what Percy was up to and he knew it would help.

I dashed into the shop, knocking over rows of T-shirts, jumping over tables full of glowin-the-dark planets and space ooze. The sales lady didn't protest. She was too busy cowering behind her cash register.

There! On the far wall—glittery silver packets. Whole racks of them. I scooped up every kind I could find and ran out of the shop with an armful.

"That explained nothing!" Magnus groaned as he looked at Percy in betrayal.

For once though Percy wasn't disturbing the water or them with it as he read he was so invested in this, and his nose was still scrunched up like that cat breath lingered in memory, so Magnus wasn't too put out Percy wasn't trying to give them a play by play detail of how fast he'd been moving by launching them into the wall again.

Zoe and Bianca were still showering arrows on the monster, but it was no good. The lion seemed to know better than to open its mouth too much. It snapped at Thalia, slashing with its claws. It even kept its eyes narrowed to tiny slits.

Thalia jabbed at the monster and backed up. The lion pressed her.

"Percy," she called, "whatever you're going to do—"

The lion roared and swatted her like a cat toy, sending her flying into the side of a Titan rocket.

"Hopefully not ominous," Percy muttered as he glanced at her now, though she hardly looked winded at the old injury.

Her head hit the metal and she slid to the floor.

"Hey!" I yelled at the lion. I was too far away to strike, so I took a risk: I hurled Riptide like a throwing knife. It bounced off the lion's side, but that was enough to get the monster's attention. It turned toward me and snarled.

Percy swallowed and reminded himself not to clench his fists. "Are you two happy now, I threw the sword!"

"Yes, please continue taking my advice," Alex nodded sagely.

"No, because now you're right and you don't have a weapon and you're about to be Meow Mix," Jason sighed.

"There's no pleasing everybody," Will snorted.

There was only one way to get close enough. I charged, and as the lion leaped to intercept me, I chunked a space food pouch into its maw—a chunk of cellophane-wrapped, freeze-dried strawberry parfait.

"Everybody loves parfait," Percy proudly announced like that explained everything.

It did not, but Percy didn't give them the chance to argue the point as he kept reading in the same way.

The lion's eyes got wide and it gagged like a cat with a hairball.

"Naww," Magnus said with a genuine smile like he actually found that cute.

"You have clearly never heard a cat hack up a hairball," Percy shook his head. "It's disgusting, and I almost feel bad for doing that to him. I once was him."

I couldn't blame it. I remembered feeling the same way when I'd tried to eat space food as a kid. The stuff was just plain nasty.

"Fascinating," Alex declared, and then got up unprompted and left the room. There was a few beats of silence, the sound of gagging and then a toilet flushing, before Alex flopped back into her seat beside Magnus and assured, "and agreed, that stuff should burn. Continue."

Percy decided to take her advice again before anyone else got brave enough to subject themselves to that.

"Zoe, get ready!" I yelled.

Behind me, I could hear people screaming. Grover was playing another horrible song on his pipes.

"Remind me to record some of Grover's songs to add to my playlist," Rachel smiled his music would fit perfectly to how Percy kept describing her taste.

I scrambled away from the lion. It managed to choke down the space food packet and looked at me with pure hate.

"Snack time!" I yelled.

It made the mistake of roaring at me, and I got an ice-cream sandwich in its throat.

Fortunately, I had always been a pretty good pitcher, even though baseball wasn't my game.

"Basketball is throwing something into a hoop, same principle right?" Nico asked.

"Nico, you poor guy." Percy looked at him mortally offended now. "What planet are you from to think such a thing?"

Nico wasn't particularly offended, he was used to not getting the majority of what the other Camper's said, and for once it didn't sting like fresh scorpion pit venom to hear that coming from Percy. It still didn't feel great either.

Will smoothly intervened, "and you wouldn't know the horn from a stirrup in a saddle Percy, moving on."

The blank look on Percy's face proved Will's point enough he did as asked while Nico gave him a grateful smile. Will's heart skipped a beat, and for once he was grateful nobody had ever listened to him about putting saddles on those Pegasus when riding.

Before the lion could stop gagging, I shot in two more flavors of ice cream and a freeze-dried spaghetti dinner.

The lion's eyes bugged. It opened its mouth wide and reared up on its back paws, trying to get away from me.

"I have tamed the beast!" Percy cheered, fist-pumping the water with the book in hand and shooting up a geyser into the ceiling, creating another crack. It made dust dribble down on them for a moment, but Percy kept reading without concern.

Lucky him, he probably wouldn't die if this place collapsed. None of them were so sure if their protection would linger outside these walls.

"Now!" I yelled.

Immediately, arrows pierced the lion's maw—two, four, six. The lion thrashed wildly, turned, and fell backward. And then it was still.

Alarms wailed throughout the museum. People were flocking to the exits. Security guards were running around in a panic with no idea what was going on.

Grover knelt at Thalia's side and helped her up. She seemed okay, just a little dazed.

Zoe and Bianca dropped from the balcony and landed next to me.

Zoe eyed me cautiously. "That was... an interesting strategy."

"Hercules should be begging you for tips," Thalia proudly agreed, though she was grateful she'd kept the comment to herself back then. Percy smiled at her, when she wasn't so sure he would have back then.

Not to mention Zoe might have stabbed her on the spot.

"Hey, it worked."

She didn't argue.

The lion seemed to be melting, the way dead monsters do sometimes, until there was nothing left but its glittering fur coat, and even that seemed to be shrinking to the size of a normal lion's pelt.

"Take it," Zoe told me.

I stared at her. "What, the lion's fur? Isn't that, like, an animal rights violation or something?"

"Only if you don't use the whole animal," Magnus grinned, "the rest of the animal melted, don't let what's left go to waste Perce."

"Duly noted, especially if one of Artemis's girls are telling me," Percy chuckled.

"It is a spoil of war," she told me. "It is rightly thine."

"You killed it," I said.

She shook her head, almost smiling. "I think thy ice-cream sandwich did that.

"I would concur with Zoe," Thalia pretended to shiver in revulsion just to keep up a charade to Percy her old dislike. "I was concussed at the time and saw you poison that poor kitty."

"Payback for the time my mom once tried to take in a stray and it pissed on my bed," Percy said innocently, though in honesty he'd never held a grudge and had snuck it out scraps when Gabe kicked the animal out after it pissed on his pillow too.

Fair is fair, Percy Jackson. Take the fur."

I lifted it up; it was surprisingly light. The fur was smooth and soft. It didn't feel at all like something that could stop a blade. As I watched, the pelt shifted and changed into a coat—a full-length golden-brown duster.

"Howdy, howdy, howdy," Alex burst out laughing, she'd loved Toy Story as a kid.

"It's to bad you never got a hat to go with it," Thalia said with a strange smile, it almost looked forced. That getup had saved his life, and it made her sick to her stomach just thinking about mocking him for it now.

Nico gave Percy a forlorn smile as he said, "I can't imagine why you ever gave that up," though he was glad he had. As if this could get any more perfect, cowboys and pirates all bundled up into one Percy.

Percy gave him the same strange look as ever like he was speaking a different language. Nico flushed and looked away with guilt, he hadn't meant to provoke Percy's memories. Thankfully he didn't flip out, so it wasn't something else he was going to inevitably be blamed for.

"Not exactly my style," I murmured.

"We have to get out of here," Grover said. "The security guards won't stay confused for long."

I noticed for the first time how strange it was that the guards hadn't rushed forward to arrest us. They were scrambling in all directions except ours, like they were madly searching for something. A few were running into the walls or each other.

Will was the only one trying to suppress a smile at that, he felt bad for the mortals, but not bad enough he wanted Percy getting caught.

"Oh my gods!" Alex burst out laughing hardest of all. "I will pay that satyr to teach me that!"

"On yourself or innocent civilians?" Magnus asked sincerely.

"Why not both!" She beamed.

"I'm sure he'll get right on that," Percy agreed.

"You did that?" I asked Grover.

He nodded, looking a little embarrassed. "A minor confusion song. I played some Barry Manilow. It works every time. But it'll only last a few seconds."

"The security guards are not our biggest worry," Zoe said. "Look."

Through the glass walls of the museum, I could see a group of men walking across the lawn. Gray men in gray camouflage outfits. They were too far away for us to see their eyes, but I could feel their gaze aimed straight at me.

"To bad you couldn't feed them to the lion," Thalia scowled, she still remembered her heart skipping a beat every time those menaces showed up.

"Go," I said. "They'll be hunting me. I'll distract them."

"No," Zoe said. "We go together."

I stared at her. "But, you said—"

"You are part of this quest now," Zoe said grudgingly. "I do not like it, but there is no changing fate. You are the fifth quest member. And we are not leaving anyone behind."

"It only took you literally saving her life to admit it," Rachel chuckled as she offered to take the book from Percy.

He seemed reluctant to hand it over. He hadn't gotten any news about Annabeth in this one, what Luke was doing to her, how she was recovering. In this instance he didn't think no news would be good news. He'd figure out how to work a fax machine for a few letters again, take a pigeon message, anything!

If he started kicking up a fuss about wanting to read this though, he was worried he'd start losing it over everything again. He really was trying so hard to keep it together, so he passed the peeling, purple, battered, and bruised, key to his heart over to her.

[potsmart]

Ground Weed and Pre-Rolls Explode in Popularity in Canada… Southern Neighbours Still Not So Sure

In the past, cannabis consumers generally preferred to buy their weed whole and grind it themselves. However, it seems that in Canada, this is changing, and more and more consumers are now willing to purchase pre-ground cannabis, which was once considered “mids,” or worse, “Boof.” Heady bois groan from their studio apartments in Denver, but as mentioned earlier on this site, fans of pre-ground flower have no time for that negativity. Consumers are voting with their wallets.

It shouldn’t need defining, but here we go, pre-ground or milled weed is available in a ready-to-use form, which can be easily poured into your vape, pipe, or pre-rolled cone.

According to data generated by Seattle-based cannabis researchers Headset Analytics, pre-ground cannabis had a rather negligible presence in the burgeoning Canadian market at the start of 2020. However, fast forward and by December 2022, it occupied a significant share at 7.3% of Canadians’ flower purchases. This data was obtained through tracking in Ontario, Alberta, British Columbia, and Saskatchewan and reported by MJBizDaily.

“That’s very, very much a significant portion of the highest-revenue category,” Headset Analytics Manager Cooper Ashley said.

What’s more is that brands are growing devoted fanbases who come back and ask for them by name.

“We were, in my opinion, probably a month too late jumping on that trend, even though customers were asking us for it,” said Cavion, founder of two Calyx + Trichomes stores in Kingston, Ontario.

Perhaps another boost to purchases of pre-ground bud is infused products. It’s becoming more common on shelves and delivery menus all over the world to see massive selections of infused pre-ground and pre-rolls. This gives the product that little extra kick chronic chronic smokers like. Growers used to throw out their trim. Now they grind it up with bud, pack it into pre-rolls that they roll in trim bin kief and sell at a premium. It’s really a win-win. People love the product, growers get to turn what once was waste into gold.

Apart from its convenience, there are several other advantages to purchasing pre-ground weed. One such benefit is the price point, and you know stoners love a deal. In fact, pre-ground cannabis often retails at a lower price point than whole flower, with an average price of around $4 CAD or approximately $3 USD per gram. This marks a significant decrease from the average price of $7 CAD or $5.25 USD in early 2020.

This trend of buying pre-ground weed is not as popular in the United States, where it currently only makes up about 0.9% of the total flower market share. One possible reason for the relatively slow adoption of pre-ground weed in the USA could be its negative reputation. Some Canadian Entrepreneurs have admitted that they were initially hesitant to stock pre-ground weed due to its less-than-stellar reputation.

“In the early days of legalization in Canada, I don’t think the perception was there for milled flower – I think it was seen as maybe inferior to other products,” – Maria Guest, Pure Sunfarms Vice President

Despite its plus sides, it just wasn’t cool in the beginning. That changed incredibly fast. The verdict is still out whether Americans are simply snobs or if the pre-ground weed in Canada is just better.

You know what else Canadians love? Canadians love pre-rolls. If you need further proof Canadians love convenience, according to data also provided by Headset Analytics and reported on MJBizDaily, the market for infused pre-rolls in Canada has experienced an astounding growth of nearly 1,100% within a year.

(Still reading this?! I know you want a pre-roll now!)

I think again here the variety available on the shelves in mind boggling numbers. Smokers today have options from the bottom of the shelf to the top, infused, coated, premium, hash filled, whatever you can imagine, someone is rolling it up into a joint, sticking it in a little plastic tube and willing to sell it to you. Our little monkey brains can’t help but buy them up like candy and enjoy them. Listen, I am that heady boi, and I buy pre-rolls. They are awesome.

To be fair it is doubtful that heady bois everywhere are going to pawn their Motherships and custom bangers to load up on pre-ground cannabis.These are not the same markets and that’s okay. That’s the beauty of a legal market, it creates a massive variation of products that may never have been available otherwise. In the same way, a lot of consumers are just looking for an easy way to get blazed, and a familiar bag of ground up stuff to roll your own cigarettes like a hipster outside a music venue. Good for all 7.9% of them.

You know what else is awesome? Kief.

Just saying. If you’re rolling Js, you might as well pick up some of that to top it all off.

By Richard “Dick” Weed, Ganja Guru and Guest Contributor, for Potsmart

[delacyrose224]

Message in a Bottle

-Pairing: Beomgyu x reader

-Words: 4.8k

-Rating/Warnings: SFW, non-idol AU, rock band AU, best friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, mild cursing, fluff, angst

-Author's Note: This Taylor Swift song has been begging me to write a fic, so here we are! Beomgyu just won't leave me alone these days, so here's a New Year's Eve fic centered around the one and only Mr. Choi. Enjoy!

------------------------------

“For the fancy lady with the new job.”

You roll your eyes as your best friend exits the ice cream shop in front of you, gloved hands clutching two soft serves as he smiles at you. Eye roll aside, you take the strawberry confection out of his hands. Though it makes next to no sense in the dead of winter, a hallmark of your friendship with Beomgyu is getting ice cream together, no matter how the weather protests.

“I’m not fancy,” you finally say around a mouthful of ice cream. Beomgyu simply shakes his head, rolling his eyes back at you.

“Okay, whatever you say. Just a new job then, in a nice building downtown, with a pay raise. Not fancy at all.” He grins goofily across his cone to you as you give in and laugh. “But seriously…how do you feel about starting a new job right before the new year?” Concern laces his features-he knows that you’ve been searching for a new job for a while, but he also knows how change makes your stomach churn, which is exactly what it starts doing when you reply.

“I’m nervous. Excited, but nervous. What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent? Or just doesn’t like me?” You scuff your boot against the sidewalk, back and forth.

“Well one, you’re not incompetent because you wouldn’t have gotten the job if you were, so there’s that off the table. And if they don’t like you? I’ll come kick their asses.”

You know he’s joking, but as you look up at Beomgyu, you can’t help but notice a hint of steel behind his usual mischievousness.

“You couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if you tried,” you retort, swatting your arm towards him. You’re surprised when he catches your wrist in a tight, strong grip, the veins in his forearm standing out a little when he takes a step closer to you.

“Don’t forget I’ve been working out lately…don’t try me, or I’ll kick your ass.”

You stick your tongue out in response, which leads him to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder. You squeak out a gasp, and immediately start pounding on his back, demanding he put you down. He cackles, and doesn’t comply until he’s dropping you off at your apartment doorstep a block down from the ice cream shop.

“I told you, don’t try me. Have a great first day of work at your new job tomorrow!”

He’s gone before you can even respond.

—------------------------------

The first week and a half of your new job goes by in a blur. You’re learning new systems, new coworkers’ names, and just generally it feels like an overload of information. Even with everything happening with a learning curve, you don’t feel incompetent, and you feel well-liked to your pleasant surprise. However, what you didn’t expect was your boss to tell you about the company’s New Years’ Eve party…and how excited he was to see you and your plus one there in a few days’ time.

You don’t have a plus one.

Unless…?

“So how’s the new job going? Tell me all the juicy gossip, I want to know everything!” Beomgyu shouts into the phone over the noise of wherever he’s at.

“There’s nothing that juicy to tell, promise. I’m still learning everything, it’s been fun though. So far, so good!” You can’t help smiling as you talk, the giddy energy from your job change still coursing through you. There's silence before you continue.

“But…”

“But what? Do I need to kick someone’s ass? I told you I would,” he laughs.

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…the company has this fancy New Years Eve party in a couple of days…”

“...so? Sounds like a good time.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But, my boss just told me about it yesterday. And he’s expecting me to bring a plus one, everyone is.”

“Okay, so ask that dude from your last job that you liked. Soobin, isn’t that his name?” Beomgyu sounds nonchalant, like nothing you’re saying should be of any concern.

“Okay, one, I would never do that. Two, Soobin isn’t even interested in me like that, he told me so when I asked him out for coffee once.”

Beomgyu sputters into something he’s drinking, you’re not sure what.

“Why am I just now hearing about this, exactly? Also, he’s completely stupid to not be interested in you, any guy would be lucky to date you,-”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Gyu, but that’s not why I called you.” You pick nervously at your nails, and though he can’t see you, he can tell that you feel uncomfortable.

“So why did you call? Are you okay? Did something else happen?” He’s soft in his response to you, and you know if he were here in person, he’d be drawing you into his side.

“I lied to my boss.” You swallow thickly, your gaze darting around your living room where you’re now pacing.

“Lied? What did you say?”

“...that I had a boyfriend?” you reply quietly.

“Okay…who? Who did you mean?”

“...you. I told him I was bringing my boyfriend, Beomgyu.”

There’s a long, long silence that hangs in the air as you wait for your friend to say something. Anything.

Suddenly, there’s a loud barking laugh from the other side of the phone.

“That’s all? Please…I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Your boss will be impressed because I clean up well, your coworkers will be swooning, and you’ll be the life of the party. What a fun time!”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, never! At least not for something like this, anyway. I’m excited! I’ve never been to a fancy New Years Eve party, this’ll be great. We should go shopping for outfits tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then, I guess,” you reply before ending the call.

What the heck had you gotten yourself into?

—--------------------------------

The next day passes in a rush of shops, suits, and sequins until the two of you settle on an outfit each for the party. You still feel guilty for lying to your boss and roping Beomgyu into pretending to be your boyfriend, but he repeatedly reminds you throughout the shopping spree that he is absolutely fine with the whole thing, citing ‘being able to practice acting’ and a love of fancy parties as reasons to not be worried about it.

However, you can’t help but worry as you slip into a bright sequined jumpsuit on New Year's Eve. It’s flashier than anything you would ever wear normally, and no matter which way you move, light dances off the silver sparkles covering your body. A small sigh escapes you as you resign yourself to the attention you’ll surely draw, and the sigh turns into exasperation as you attempt to pull the zipper of the jumpsuit fully up, only to get stuck at the middle of your back.

“...hello?” You hear Beomgyu’s voice echo down the hallway towards your room, causing you to glance over at the clock by your bedside. 6:35. Shit. You’d told him to pick you up at 6:30, and you hadn’t even heard him knock.

“You didn’t answer the door, so I just used the spare key…are you okay?” His voice sounds closer, and you hear the door to your bedroom open slowly.

“Can you…ugh…help me…with this stupid zipper?!” you exclaim, giving one last tug before letting your hands fall to your sides.

“I’ve got you.” You feel his hands sweep your hair over your shoulder so he has access to your back, and in one swift move, he’s got the zipper pulled to the top of the jumpsuit. You look up into your full length mirror to see Beomgyu gently readjusting your hair to cascade down your back again.

He then leans in over your shoulder, hands loosely covering your hips. “You look lovely,” he murmurs in your ear, the low baritone of his voice causing goosebumps to rise on your bare arms.

As he steps away from you, you can see he’s chosen to wear black dress pants with a white button down, black tie, and a black leather jacket.

He looks good. Really good. So good, you don’t realize you’ve been staring silently until he says, “Yeah, I really leaned into the whole ‘I play guitar in a band’ aesthetic. It’s not too much, is it?”

You attempt to respond only to be met with a dry throat. You cough, trying again. “No, Gyu. You look so good. Great.” A steady heat is making its way up your neck and face, which isn’t helped when Beomgyu seems like he’s suddenly getting shy, hand reaching to rub the back of his neck.

“We should head downtown, don’t want to be late!” you chirp cheerily, trying to make things less awkward. Beomgyu seems to snap out of whatever headspace he was in and his usual grin makes his way across his face.

“After you, m’lady.” You roll your eyes, and he just pokes your side as you both walk out of your apartment.

—--------------------------------

The ride downtown is comfortable, both of you having recovered from whatever had happened in your bedroom. Beomgyu parks his car in the garage of a towering skyscraper downtown, and you’re shocked to see that your company has rented out one of the most coveted views in the whole city. The two of you head inside, duck into an already crowded elevator, and head to the 15th floor.

As everyone piles out, your best friend reaches for your hand, which you jerk away from without thinking.

“Hey, I’m your boyfriend tonight, remember? We’ve got this.” Beomgyu reaches for your hand again, and this time you let his fingers intertwine with your own. Though the feeling is foreign, it’s comforting all at the same time. You glance over at him, clearly nervous, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You steel yourself, and head into the party.

Turns out you needn’t have worried about most of the night. As predicted, your jumpsuit does garner a lot of attention, but with that attention come a lot of sincere compliments. Beomgyu is a hit with everyone-your boss is impressed with his day job, and your coworkers are fascinated with the fact that he’s in a band and he writes a lot of the music they play. You even notice a few of the women you work with giving him side glances when they think you’re not looking, which makes you laugh.

All the while, Beomgyu plays the part of the doting, attentive boyfriend. When your boss chats with him about his work, he makes sure you’re a part of the conversation. While coworkers are asking about his band, he pulls you close and keeps an arm around your waist while he’s talking, telling them all about his latest song which happens to be about you. You thought he hadn’t noticed the stares from other women, but it seems every time you catch one, he’s whispering in your ear, kissing the top of your head, or asking you to dance with him.

All of the attention feels so natural, it throws you for a loop. There’s a flush coloring your cheeks every time Beomgyu dances with you, both from the effort you’re exerting and his warm gaze that seems to travel up and down your body watching your every move. You’re enjoying what might be your tenth or twelfth trip to the dancefloor, when suddenly Beomgyu’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you so close that you’re chest to chest.

“Hi,” he murmurs into your ear, just loud enough to hear over the music that’s shifted into a slow song.

“...hi,” you squeak out, looking up to find his deep brown eyes gazing down at you.

“Have I told you how pretty you look tonight?” he hums, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

“You told me earlier before we left my apartment. And then again earlier tonight while we were talking to my coworker.” You raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Funny, I can’t remember either of those…guess I’ll just tell you again. Silly me.” He takes your confusion as an opportunity to spin you out and back again into his arms.

“Beomgyu…what’s gotten into you? I know you’re pretending to be my boyfriend, but no one can hear us over the music right now.”

“I know. There’s just a guy over by the drinks who keeps looking over here at you, hoping I don’t notice. Except I have…and I don’t appreciate it.” You follow his glare over to one of your new coworkers, who sure enough is looking your way, though he tries to poorly cover it up once you both are staring at him.

“Are you…jealous?” You can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but you don’t know what else to call Beomgyu’s behavior other than jealousy.

“I, in fact, am not jealous, thank you for asking. I just don’t appreciate that he thinks it’s okay to openly stare at someone that for all intents and purposes has a boyfriend tonight, that’s all. C’mon, let’s go up to the roof and get away from creeper over there.”

Beomgyu laces his fingers with yours and creates a path through the partygoers, through a small door and up a staircase to the roof. You gasp as you walk up to the edge of the building, the skyline in front of you taking your breath away.

“It’s beautiful.” You can’t think of a better word to describe the scene in front of you, and you look to the man beside you to see if he agrees, only to find him staring at you instead.

“It really is.” His gaze never wavers, and he steps closer to you. “Check the time,” he whispers softly.

11:59.

“Happy New Years, lovely.” His breath fans out over your face, and you find yourself drawing closer as if by some unseen force until your lips are meeting his.

It’s not what you expected, to be kissing your best friend on New Year’s Eve. Or ever. But you can’t say you’re too upset about it. Beomgyu’s lips are soft and full, gentle with you as if you might crumble beneath him if he’s too harsh. His tongue softly prodding against your lips is what brings you back to reality, pulling away with a dazed and panicked look on your face.

You just kissed your best friend. Beomgyu just kissed you.

You clear your throat and take a step to distance yourself from him. Even though you see him try to school his features into neutrality, you know him too well-there’s a ghost of hurt flickering behind his eyes and your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach.

Before you can even say anything, he beats you to it.

“Here, you’re shivering. I’ll take you home.” He wraps his leather jacket around your shoulders and heads back down the staircase to the party, making sure you’re following him every so often.

The ride home is just as silent as the one downtown, but this time it’s not comfortable. You keep wanting to say something, but keep your mouth shut in fear of making the whole situation worse. You didn’t know how you felt, and you didn’t want to mess things up further by saying something completely stupid. Side glances at Beomgyu tell you nothing, as he’s managed to shove whatever he’s feeling so far down inside, all you can see is the neutrality he’d been attempting earlier.

Once you get to your apartment, you hand back his jacket wordlessly. As he turns to leave, you reach out and grab his arm. He looks back at you, a small flicker of hope igniting in his gaze.

“See you tomorrow?” It comes out in a small, weak voice.

Beomgyu shakes his head, trying to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m leaving for our new year gigs tomorrow. I won’t be back for a week and a half, and I’ll be hard to get ahold of. I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

You nod meekly.

“Beomgyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we okay?”

You see him shift his weight from foot to foot as he suddenly can’t seem to look you in the eyes.

“We will be. Take care of yourself, okay? Since I won’t be here to do it for you.” A small laugh escapes him as he turns and walks away. You stare after him long after he’s out of sight, wondering if you’ve just ruined the closest relationship you’ve ever had.

—-------------------------------

The following week drags on forever without Beomgyu. At work, it feels like you’re on autopilot, not quite paying attention to things you’re being asked. Your mind keeps wandering back to New Years Eve, and the fact that you had kissed your best friend. Obviously he must have gotten swept away in the moment, pretending to be your boyfriend? Or maybe he did have feelings for you. But where did that leave you? Did you have feelings too?

It doesn’t help that communication between the two of you is sporadic, as his signal goes in and out as he’s traveling, and when he’s in a city, he’s practicing, playing a gig, or hanging out with his bandmates. The best you can manage is texts sent that he responds to hours later, if not days. As if he knows you’re thinking about him (but when have you not been this week?), your phone pings with an incoming text message.

You (10:05 PM): Hey, hope you and the band got to your hotel safely!

Gyu (11:37 AM): Hey! Sorry it took so long to respond, but yeah we did. The gig last night was sick! :D

You don’t bother texting back since you know it’ll be another day before he responds. You sigh heavily instead and gather your belongings to head home since you only work half days on Friday. At least it’s the weekend, and Beomgyu will be home in a few days…hopefully things can go back to normal soon.

—--------------------------------

Turns out the weekend can’t even save you. As you go through the motions, you realize just how closely intertwined your life is with his. Ice cream trips. Movie nights with takeout. Walks in the park catching up on your week. Doing all of it by yourself feels wrong, like you’re cheating on your best friend by not including him. But that’s absurd. Right? You’re staring at your ceiling in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the last time you had a sleepover with Beomgyu. You had both been a little drunk, giggling over the smallest things, and even though he had been further gone than you, he helped you get ready for bed. Used a makeup wipe to gently remove your mascara, made you brush your teeth while he watched. He’d then patted you on the head once you’d crawled into your sheets, saluting you as he clumsily made his way to the couch to fall asleep himself.

You turn to face the empty side of your bed, wishing he was here beside you.

…wait.

What?

You roll back immediately to stare at your ceiling again. You wished he was here beside you? He never stayed in your bed with you, even on your drunkest of nights…he was always on the couch. So why did your brain suddenly think that? Flashes of New Years Eve come crashing back into your head, Beomgyu’s lips insistently pressed against yours, tongue seeking entrance to your mouth before you had stepped away. The memories make you feel warm and tingly all over, wishing again that he was laying beside you. And you remember how you haven’t been able to get him out of your head all week, even though he’s gone to do shows before. All of it together suddenly makes sense, and you want to hide from yourself at how stupid you’ve been.

You just might be in love with your best friend.

—-----------------------------

Your realization haunts you through the next day. You want to wait to talk to Beomgyu until he’s home, but something keeps tugging at you the whole day to reach out before then. A text seems entirely too casual, plus what would you say? ‘Hey I think I love you?’ Absolutely not. You’ll call him.

Except when you finally sit down to do so after dinner that night, it goes to voicemail. Of course it does, he has a show tonight. Nevertheless, you brace yourself to record after the beep-you’ve thought way too hard about what you need to say to chicken out now.

~Beep~

“Hey, Beomgyu, I hope your show is going really well tonight…um, I just wanted to call because-nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry about that! Anyway, I just thought it was too important to send via text so here I am, leaving a voicemail…”

You take a deep breath, realizing that you’ve started to ramble and aren’t making a ton of sense.

“-like I said, this is important. One, I am so sorry I stepped away from you on New Years Eve, I think I just freaked out? There was absolutely nothing wrong with you kissing me, at all. It was nice, actually. Two, I miss you a stupid amount. This weekend every time I did anything, I wanted you with me…which leads me to three. I realized because of how much I missed you that I want to spend time with you all the time. I found myself wishing you were sleeping next to me last night? So that was new. Anyway, all that to say-I miss you. I miss hanging out with you. I figured out I miss your lips and that kiss from New Years as well, so what I’m trying to spit out is…I think I love you, and-”

You’re suddenly cut off by the beep of his voicemail box, telling you you’ve reached the message time limit.

“Dammit!” you curse, hurling your phone against your couch. You let out a shaky breath, and pick it back up.

There’s nothing to do now but wait.

—--------------------------------

You fall asleep waiting, and wake up to a singular text from Beomgyu.

Gyu (9:59 AM): Are you coming to our homecoming show tonight?

Okay, so maybe he didn’t listen to your voicemail. That’s okay, right? You’ll just see him in person. And tell him your feelings. In person.

You (10:02 AM): Front row, wouldn’t miss it! :)

Your response seems nonchalant, but your stomach is churning and you feel like you might throw up. You decide that working from home might be the best plan for the day, and so you turn to spreadsheets, emails, and reading articles to distract you from what might be the end of your world as you know it.

Soon enough, 6:00 rolls around and you shut off your laptop as you finish off a quick dinner you had made for yourself as you finished up the day’s tasks. You decide to treat tonight as just a normal show you’re going to, throwing on a distressed band tee (Beomgyu’s band MOA, artfully bleached and torn by yours truly) with black jeans and stomper boots, accented with a red lip.

You grab your purse off the counter and quickly dash out the door to walk the few blocks to the dive bar MOA is playing, making sure to get there early so you can be front row like you promised.

Sure enough, you’re one of the first people there and it’s easy for you to choose a spot right in front of where you know Beomgyu will be playing for most of the show. Ten minutes after you arrive, he and the rest of the band walk out to tune their instruments. You give a quick wave to Yeonjun, the band’s lead vocalist, and he nudges Beomgyu, turning his attention to you. He quickly jogs across the stage, leans down and throws his legs over the edge and pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hey stranger, feels like ten years since I’ve seen you. I missed you,” he mumbles into your hair.

You pull back, attempting to fix your hair. Noticing his shaggy black hair’s gotten mussed as well, you push it off his face. Before you can draw your hand away, Beomgyu’s covered it with his own, squeezing it softly.

“You look good in my shirt.” His eyes sparkle mischievously as he motions to your band tee with his other hand, and you roll your eyes even as you can feel your cheeks color.

“Yeah, yeah…don’t you have to get ready for the show, rockstar?”

“I do,” he pouts, “but I’ll come find you later, okay?” You nod, and he stands back up and wanders over to his guitar, picking it up and making sure it’s in tune.

More and more people start to crowd around and behind you, and before you know it, the show has started. You’re scream singing the lyrics just as loudly as anyone else, cheering your heart out at the end of every song. Every so often, you catch smiles that Beomgyu is sending you, and it makes your heart feel like it’s leapt up into your throat. Even though it makes you nervous, you can’t help the smiles you send back in return.

Towards the end of the show, Beomgyu steps up to his mic, addressing the crowd.

“Hey everyone, thanks so much for coming out tonight! Our last song we’re going to play for you is an exclusive-we just workshopped this today, mostly because I just wrote it today. Let us know whether you like it!”

Cheers immediately erupt through the crowd, and simmer down once he starts strumming his guitar and steps up to the mic.

“I know that you like me

And it’s kinda frightenin’

Standing here, waitin’, waitin’

And I became hypnotized

By freckles and bright eyes

Tongue tied”

Beomgyu looks over at you and sends a cheeky wink your way. Wait a second, is he singing…about you?

“Cause you could be the one that I love

I could be the one that you dream of

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you

You could be the one that I keep, and I

Can be the reason you can't sleep at night

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you”

You feel rooted to the spot, staring at the boy in front of you as he sings, staring straight at you, no trace of embarrassment or shame on his face. You barely notice when Yeonjun takes over singing the next verse, your eyes following Beomgyu instead as he pulls his guitar strap over his head, placing the instrument onto its stand.

He walks in front of your spot in front of the stage, and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge, just as he had before the show. He reaches out toward you slowly, but with purpose, gently cupping the sides of your face. You barely register the screaming and whistling that’s happening around you as the other audience members witness the private moment between the two of you.

Beomgyu slowly slides his thumb across your cheek, his eyes glimmering with mischief and something you can’t quite place as he leans towards you.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, barely audible over the song.

You wrap your arms around his neck in response, pulling him to his feet off the stage, crashing your lips onto his. His lips are full and soft just like you remember, and that warm and tingly feeling from before is even stronger, prompting you to be the one who gently asks for entrance to his mouth with your tongue, which he eagerly grants. You’re not sure how long the two of you stand there, too wrapped up in each other to care what’s happening around you. Beomgyu finally pulls back for air, a huge smile on his face that he can’t get rid of. He leans his forehead against yours as he breathes heavily, and begins laughing. It feels contagious, and you’re so giddy you can’t help but join in.

“You are the one I dream of,” you breathe out between giggles.

“I’m glad…because you’re the one that I love. I love you too,” Beomgyu states simply, landing another kiss on your lips.

“I take it you got my voicemail?”

“Of course I did, and I saved it. Just figured I’d respond in person. With a song that I wrote for you…among the others I’ve written about you, this one just happens to be the only one that’s seen the light of day. And it’s a hit!” He gestures around you, where Yeonjun is finishing out the song and the crowd has erupted into raucous cheers.

“There’s…others?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Many others…I’ll play them for you if you’re lucky. I’m just glad you got my message in a bottle.”

—-------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi @alpacaparkaseok @derinxfam

Check out my other work here!

[venusguks]

Unlike You

pairing : jeon jungkook x fem!reader

summary : As daydreamy and romantic as you are, you decided true love was going to have to wait for you tonight. That was because tonight, you were getting laid !! ...Your best friend doesn’t make it easy for you when he finds out why, though.

warnings : smut, dom!jk, sub!reader, unprotected seggs, fluff, bsf!jk, degredation, dumbification, possessive jk, jealous jk, fun sexy times, jk is whipped for mc, oral (fem receiving), body worshipping, jimin/reader but only for a sec

“A club?” Jungkook raised his brow.

He was incredulous and slightly displeased as he watched you pace around your room. It was rare after all, new to see you like this―in a black, satin dress with a slit high enough to make him upset. He didn’t need you catching anyone else’s attention, especially in a neon lit bar full of ravenous people.  “For the seventh time, yes, Kook,” You huff, jarring your mouth slightly to dab a dreamy red over your plush lips. 

You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so confident as you applied mascara and tickled a delicate pink over your cheeks. More than anyone, Jungkook couldn’t recall ever seeing you this way, this excited to be amidst a crowd of sweaty bodies. You honestly didn’t see why he was being so apprehensive, it wasn’t like you necessarily hated parties―you just always preferred the coziness of your home better. Huge social interactions were never your thing, and that was okay. Being an introvert wasn’t something to be ashamed of anyway, but staying in came with the everyday comforts of baggy sweatpants and sweaters.

So could anyone really blame you for your excitement? You just loved the way getting ready made you feel, missed it. You already knew you were beautiful with or without makeup, but damn did it make you feel confident.

“It’s just...” Jungkook furrowed his brows and ruffled his hair. “This isn’t like you, love. Did something happen? Are you okay? We can talk about it, if you want. Whatever it is, I’m here to listen you know.” 

You sighed exasperatedly at your best friend’s reflection through your vanity. His eyes were uncertain and full of concern as he watched your figure with crossed arms. “Koo, we’ve been over this so many times already. I’m nervous enough as it is, and you’re not helping at all. I want to do this, okay? It’s been awhile. Plus, I haven’t seen the others boys in so long.”

A part of you didn’t want to be annoyed at Jungkook for his incessant worrying, but it truly was hard not to sometimes. “You’re being such a fucking dick, you know that?! Can’t I just live my life without you being so fucking hysterical about it every time?! ” It was that winter a few months ago when you unleashed all your pent up frustration. Jungkook had always been overprotective, and you appreciated him for caring, but he just made it so hard for you to even breathe sometimes. It was the biggest argument you guys ever had when you started dating a boy a few years older. You ignored Jungkook’s calls and messages for weeks, but when you discovered that he cheated on you, Jungkook was the first to be by your side. You still remember the assurance and safety you felt in his arms; with his soft lips against your forehead, murmuring sweet consolations as you sobbed on his shoulder. After that day, Jungkook agreed to be less protective. 

“I just don’t get why it has to be a club. We could meet the hyungs anywhere else, baby.”

“Oh sure, maybe a strip club would do,” you said, chuckling when you see his shock. “I’m kidding, Koo.” Though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea...

Maybe you couldn’t blame him for being so appalled. You usually opted out whenever your friends went out to celebrate, which by the way, was rather often. Night after night, the few of them would call you, practically beg until they realized their efforts would end in vain. By the morning, notifications would spam your phone of their wild night; pictures and details that showcased hookups you didn’t need to know about. Now that you think about it, it was sort of ironic that you’d always grimace to the crude texts.

That was because tonight, you decided you were getting laid.

That’s right, to hell with sweet, wholesome love! If true love had to make you wait, true love would have to wait for you too! Your subscribing 48K readers have been expecting a new chapter of Spring’s Breath, an erotica series, which you’ve delayed for 2 whole months now. You didn’t exactly know when your writers block came, but by the fourth hour you stared at your blank screen, unable to come up with any other synonym for dick or thrust or moan; or how the overused dirty talk you wrote made you cringe―you realized the firecracker you had in writing erotica died out.

It was your dear friend, Hoseok, who suggested the whole ordeal. He was the only one who knew your secret, anyway. You had so much trust in him, so when he professed that maybe if you slept with someone, your spark would come back, you had truly considered it. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, no cons would come out of it. It was just odd to think about.

You have always been such a huge romantic, your literature proved it. Jungkook nor you nor anyone would anticipate you hooking up with someone just to hook up with someone. The tenderness, the connection, the intimacy... you’ve always prioritized genuine adoration over whimsical one night stands. You were an honest daydreamer, and maybe that’s why your works would always take off.

But maybe... maybe it was okay to let go once in awhile.

When you mentioned Jungkook being less overprotective, you forgot to put an emphasis on less―because there he was, his hand possessively squeezing your inner thigh every time you even dared to look at a cute boy. You let out a frustrated sigh when he nuzzles his nose into your neck.

You tried not to mind it. It was just in his nature anyway―ever since kindergarten when he found you crying over your dropped ice cream. Jungkook left only to come back with another cone, rubbing your fat tears away with the palm of his sleeve. In elementary school, he peppered you with tiny kisses when you sobbed over the death of your kitten. You’ve only had him for a month, dedicated all your time to him and skipped play dates to care for your little serendipity―but just like that―he was lifeless. It was Jungkook who found him on the road. In middle school, he’d go through the enveloped confessions in your locker and rip them apart, saying you deserved better than any of them. You’ve always looked up to him througha lens of admiration. Everything he did for you, he did it out of thought and care. It was sweet.

It was times like these where you really started to mind though. 

You’ve been giggling with your friends for the past hour, catching up on every minuscule detail. You were sitting in a booth wedged in the middle of Jungkook and Hoseok, brimming with happiness to see Namjoon and Yoongi again. Its been so long, and your heart would swell to the stories you’ve missed out on.

The night was carrying on delightfully! ...except for the fact that Jungkook sent death glares to whoever even glanced at you. The countless of times you shyly returned someone’s gaze, only for them to rush away when they caught sight of your best friend left you agitated. When the boys were engaged in a conversation about a class they all shared together, you decided it was a good time to bring it up. 

Gulping a shot down, you let out a huff. “Kookie...”

“Yes, baby?” He whispered into your ear, his large hand grazing the access of your slitted dress.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what, love?” You sharply inhaled as Jungkook rubbed sensitive circles on your skin.

Immediately standing up, you squeezed yourself out of the booth. “I’m gonna go dance!” You yell through the loud music, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes, because seriously, the nerve of that man! The rest of your friends cheered, “We love to see you like this, y/n! Enjoy yourself, cutie!” Hoseok laughed when you blew a kiss to him. He made you feel so much more at ease, so much more confident. Okay, you got this! No use in sitting around. You couldn’t get anywhere tonight with Jungkook by your side, anyway.

Fluffing out your hair after you downed another shot, you strut your way into the dance floor. Your hips swayed in a rather alluring manner as you made your way into the crowd, your fingertips tracing seductive lines from your hips up to your waist, your neck and finally, into the air. The alcohol slowly took its effect as your confidence settled in, rolling your head back and moving your body fluidly to the loud music. 

Truth be told, you didn’t know what you were doing, just knew you must’ve looked good as hell doing it as you felt hands grip your waist. You gasped as a body pressed against your back, sticky with sweat.

“You’re so captivating, princess,” His dulcet voice was enough to make you weak...or was it the alcohol? Whatever the case, get your grip together y/n! It was just four words for star’s sake! 

“I, um, th-thank you...um! You too..” Your confidence from only moments ago dissolved with your voice. “So shy now, princess? How come? You were dancing so sexily just moments ago.” He chuckled lowly against your ear, nibbling it. You whimpered to his brazen touch, his hands guiding your hips with his. “Are you shy for me? Is that it? What a cute little princess you are... so beautiful, fuck.”

Annnnnnnnd you truly were fucked. You professed only hours ago that true love could wait, that you’d be a different woman tonight, yet you couldn’t help but feel bashful to the man’s praise. His voice and his nectar sweet words enough to make you feel wobbly.

“I’m Jimin. Can I know my princess’s name?” He pressed his hardened member against your ass, the silk thin fabric barely doing its job of coverage. “Ah Jimin,” you moaned breathlessly as he kissed your neck. “I...I’m-”

“―Mine,” a low, husky voice finished. Jungkook stood behind you, jaw clenched and arms crossed. The veins on his biceps protruded under the incandescent lights; His white shirt and tight, black jeans doing wonders to complement his physique. 

“Are you deaf? I said she’s mine so why the fuck are your hands still on her?” Jungkook had always been intimidating, even when he didn’t try―so in the rare times he did, even he scared you sometimes.

Much to your disappointment, Jimin immediately lets go, hands in the air, “sorry man, I didn’t know.”

“W-what? Wait, he isn’t my...!” Before you could try to reach for the pink haired man, Jungkook firmly takes your hand. “Y/n, we’re leaving.” You didn’t even have a second to feel shocked before he swiftly guides you through the ocean of bodies. Loud music reverberated with your disappointment, and by the time the night’s cold air stings your cheeks, you've processed what just happened―what you just missed. It’s when Jungkook latches your seatbelt on and drives that you feel anger simmer in your chest.

“Why did you...Why the fuck did you do that, Jungkook?” You were exasperated with your emotions. You just didn’t get it. You were finally having the time of your life, finally stepping out of your comfort zone, finally dancing with a guy who made you feel amazing―just to end up on a drive back home before anything could happen. “Seriously, what the hell is your problem? That was my..! He was..!” You groaned, too frustrated to conjure up words.

Jungkook scoffed, “what, y/n? He was what? Your soulmate or something?”

“I didn’t say that! And even if I think so, why does it matter?! I was having fun! I was having so much fun and you just..! (hiccup) I was having so much fun....” You cried into your hands. “I haven’t felt that way in so long, j-just for you to mess everything up. God, I can’t even muster up words right now. I hate you so much.”

“Love...” Jungkook finally sighed, shutting the engine off. You had cried the whole ride home. The anger he once felt diminished with your tears. “Baby, please look at me.” 

“F-fuck (hiccup) off, Jungkook.” You quickly unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the car door. Knowing him as long as you did, you knew he would take your chin to force you to look up at him―but you had enough of him for the night, and honestly, the whole week.

You were just so fucking frustrated at everything. At Jungkook for unnecessarily budging in, at your writers block, at your own sexual frustration left with Jimin. What did you have to offer your readers now? A heartbreak of a possible relationship that never happened with a shitty friend on the side?

You tuned out Jungkook shouting from behind you, striding to you complex and up the stairs.

It wasn’t long after you slammed the door shut that you heard it click open again. You had forgotten Jungkook had an extra spare of your keys. “Just leave me alone, Kook.” You groaned, storming off into your room.

You kicked your heels off and stomped to your bed, taking out your frustration on your pillow where your sobs were muffled. The bed dips down when Jungkook sits beside you, silent as he caressed your hair in the way he always did to soothe your nerves.

Deciding it wasn’t enough this time, he carefully lifts you up to sit on his lap, sliding his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest. Jungkook knew you long enough to know hugs were the best remedy for you, even at your angriest moments. He knew you wouldn’t push him away.

“You jerk...” You buried your face into the crook of his neck, sniffling. “I don’t get you, Kookie. Why do you always do this?”

“I...I just wanted to protect you, baby. People have bad intentions, I didn’t want to see you end up doing something you’d regret,” His voice was gentle, brushing hair strands away from your face.

“Stars, Kook, I knew what I was doing. Whether I’d end up regretting it or not, that’s for me to sort out. I didn’t need you to ‘protect’ me. I was really enjoying myself, something I haven’t done in a long time. A-and you just..! You ruined it for me.”

Jungkook scoffed, “so you liked it then, how he was touching you? You were just going to let him fuck you?”

“Yes, Kook!” You yelled. “He could’ve fucked me in the public bathroom or in his car―in front everyone for all I care! He was hot and we were in the moment and you just interrupted! I know you care for me and I’ll always appreciate you worrying but there’s a fine line where your protectiveness should be. I’m not a kid anymore, Kook.”

Jungkook was gritting his teeth, and the two of you only glared at each other before he let out a sigh. Despite him wanting to be mad, he didn’t like making you upset. If you were going to cry because of him, he wanted it to be for an entirely different reason. 

He gently cupped your cheeks, holding your gaze with tender, sad eyes. “You know I’d do anything for you, yes? That I’ve always done anything and everything I could to help you?”

You furrowed your brows, unsure of how that related to anything, but nonetheless, you nod. “Yes, I know Kook.”

“Then why didn’t you just ask me to sleep with you, hm? If you needed help so bad, why didn’t you just ask me, baby?” You stared, dumbfounded and mouth ajar as his thumbs brushed the remnants of your tears away.

“W-What are you...?”

“Was so concerned for my baby. Hoseok got drunk and told me everything I needed to know. Did you know how hurt I was? How Hoseok knew something about you that I didn’t? Especially that you were a writer, love. I thought I was your number one, how could you keep that from me?”

“O-Of course you are, Koo! You’ll always be my number one. I just...didn’t want to tell you because it was embarrassing,” you mumbled, glancing away. Damn it Jung Hoseok! After all these years, this is when he accidentally slips it out? “Nuh uh, baby, I’m not having any of that. Look at me.”

Jungkook pressed his forehead against yours, an act you were certainly no stranger to, but nevertheless making your cheeks warm. “Not only that, you wanted to go clubbing tonight just to find a stranger to help you, is that right, baby? Wore this tiny dress just so someone could fuck you? Wanted Jimin to fuck you? Wanted to write about him fucking you in the bathroom stall?” Jungkook was speaking softly, though his words were anything but as his hands left your cheeks to trace sensuous lines up your thigh.

Your hands weakly held onto his shoulders, gasping when you felt his bulge press against your sensitive core.

“What was that you said....In his car? Wanted him to fuck you in front of everybody? Wanted to be a dirty slut just for your readers?” You didn’t know how exactly this moment came to be, but his honeyed voice brought you to a daze as you grind your hips against him. You were desperate to feel more—of anything, of him—only to let out a whine when he forcefully holds you down, burying your clothed center into his bulge. 

“I don’t think so, baby. I don’t think you deserve it,” Jungkook’s hot breath tickled your ear. You whimpered as he bit it, hands squeezing your hips. “You used to be so good for me baby, used to come to me for anything. Used to be a good little girl and depend on me. I would’ve helped you, baby. Instead, you became a dirty little slut, let another man touch you. Is that what you are now? A fucking slut?”

“N-no Kookie,” a new bundle of tears welled in your eyes at his harsh words. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sh-should’ve, ah, went to you,” you felt your body succumb to his touch. His nose brushed your jaw, placing warm kisses all over your neck before he glided his tongue down to your collarbone. “Please forgive me, I-I’ll be a good girl for you now, p-promise.”

“Yeah? Wanna be a good girl for daddy?” Jungkook licks the base of your collarbone before sucking it. “Yes..ah, yes daddy. Gonna be so good for you.” 

“And yet you weren’t,” you cried as you felt teeth sink into your skin. “J-Jung― ah, Kookie stop! Please i-it hurts!”

“You deserve this, fucking slut. You know how much you hurt me tonight? You’re secretly just a desperate whore, aren’t you? Missed your tiny cunt getting fucked so much that you’d let a stranger do it for you, hm? Answer me, slut.”

You felt tears drip down your eyes, embarrassment washing over your face. “What? You’re not going to speak now?” You shook your head in desperation. You couldn’t. How could you? It was too shameful.

You yelped when Jungkook picked you up by your waist and turned you over so your face was smushed into a pillow. “Ass up, now. Don’t make me repeat myself.” He snarled, and you immediately obliged. Jungkook was on his knees, eyes lidded to your position as he rubbed slow circles on your bare ass. “My slut is voiceless now, hm? Begged to be daddy’s good girl but can’t even answer when I talk to you. Why are you being so disobedient tonight, baby?” It happened so fast you could barely gasp as your body lurched forward to the slap. It repulsed through your skin as your right cheek stung with a faint red.

“J-J-Jungkook, ah!” You cried as another slap came, face burying further into your pillow. “I’ll be obedient from now on! s-so please! I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, daddy!”

Jungkook’s lips pulled to a smirk, grabbing a bundle of your hair before pulling you towards him. You whimpered and he bent down so he could see your face, tisking. “Oh, my poor baby. Did that hurt? Want to be a good little girl for daddy now?” You nodded ferociously, “p-please yes daddy! I-I’ll be so good for you. Please let me be good for you!” 

Jungkook’s dick felt constrained in his tight pants. He licked his lips to your messy, desperate state. Your eyes were red and puffy, lips just the same as heavy tears streamed down your eyes. Fuck, what Jungkook would give to fuck you senseless right then and there. But no, he needed to wait, needed to be patient. You deserved this.

“Make up your fucking mind, slut. If you want to be a good girl, then take your punishment like a good girl,” Jungkook pushed your face back into the pillow before slapping your ass once more. 

You didn’t know how long it went on, only knew the room was filled with your sobbing and the alarming sound of the contact that met your bruised skin. It hurt, it hurt so much. Your thighs were trembling and both your cheeks were a lovely shade of red and purple. But no matter how much you screamed your endless arrays of i’m sorry’s, Jungkook didn’t fail to notice how your juices soaked your underwear and spilled down your thighs

“Already making such a mess baby,” He groaned to the sight, palming himself to his creation. 

“P-please....hurts so bad...please let me l-lay down daddy, can’t hold myself much longer, please,” Jungkook adored the way you sounded for him, the way he corrupted you. You were perfect there, so perfectly powerless under him. 

“Mm, keep begging baby and maybe I’ll let you,” he unbuckled his pants and discarded them, his cock throbbing to your feeble pleads. “Please, please, p-please, please daddy... please. Hurts so bad, I-I can’t... please i-i’m a good girl. I’m a good girl for daddy. I’ll do anything please.”

“Did you learn your lesson, then?”

“Yes, I-I did, daddy!”

“You’ll be a good girl and obey daddy from now on?”

“Mhm!” You nodded vigorously, and Jungkook chuckled to your desperation. He peeled your soaked thong down, lifting your limp legs momentarily to pull it off until he set you back. You were so tired you felt your thighs give up on you right then, but before you could submit to your exhaustion, Jungkook lifted your ass up higher, arching your back deeper with one hand.

“Mm I don’t think so baby. Obey daddy and keep your ass up like a good little girl.” A gasp left your quivering lips when you felt Jungkook’s breath on your throbbing core.

“You smell so sweet baby, so fucking wet for me,” Jungkook hikes your dress up and glides his tongue up your inner thigh, wiping your dripping juices clean. “Kookie, mm, please,” he trails delicate kisses over your skin, nibbling it. “Yes, baby?” 

“P-please...please Kookie..!”

“Use your words, baby. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want.” Jungkook smiles against your thigh as he hears your soft sniffles muffled by the pillow. His poor baby, always so shy. It was true he loved to tease you, tempt you, and loved making you cry for him—but more than anything, he wanted to take care of you. “Please touch me, Koo, please.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” A sharp shiver crawls across your skin when your pleads are obliged, moaning as Jungkook stuffs his face into your cunt. He kisses your clit softly. One, two, three times before sucking it with his plush lips. His hands were the only thing keeping you up now because you practically melted to the touch. The way his tongue rolled over your sensitive bud already having you see stars. “Ah...feels so good, Kookie.”

“Yeah? Would it feel even better if I do this?” He easily slides his middle finger into your slippery hole, slowly pumping in and out. “O-oh...oh my god, more please.”

“Anything for you baby, but first,” a whimper escapes your lips when you feel him leave you, that is until Jungkook swiftly but gently flips you over so you’re finally laying on your back.

Jungkook’s breath hitches to the sight of you below him, frozen for a moment to the aching pull of his heart.

“You’re so pretty baby, so pretty,” Jungkook’s voice was sweet and smooth as he helped you undress. Fuck, did you know how much you pained him? How much he held back for you, all these years, in this moment? It was so hard not to take you right then, to kiss you until you couldn’t breathe, to touch every single part of you with his lips.

Jungkook has fantasized about you ever since he could remember, but you truly went beyond his imagination. You were so fucking beautiful. 

“...so pretty here,” he kisses your cheeks and your jaw, down to your neck. “And here,” he kisses the valley between your breasts, his hands trailing down your curves. “And here,” your stomach...and finally, taking your clit back into his mouth.

“The prettiest cunt baby, dripping so much for daddy,” he murmurs. His tongue rolls around your clit, pumping two fingers in and out of your slick pussy. It was all too much, the sensations overwhelming your senses as ungodly moans escape your mouth. You felt fuzzy and almost light headed, reaching down to hold Jungkook’s curls.

Your back arches and tears stream down your eyes from the intense pleasure exhausting you, his fingers curling into your sweet spot mercilessly. “Do you like this baby?”

“Love it so much, Jungkook,” You moaned breathlessly, looking down at him through your tears and ... wow. 

Jungkook’s brows were creased as he focused on his tongue devouring your wet cunt, plunging his two fingers steadily in and out of you. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, glossed with sweat while your hands curled around the rest. 

You were taken aback with your emotions. Was it strange, how timid you felt then? Doing this with him was supposed to be sinful, yet for some reason, it felt anything but at that moment.

It was the fact that Jungkook looked so intent, so concentrated in making you feel good. How Jungkook showed his care for you, how he always did, how he was doing right now, cherishing you with his best effort. He wanted to give you the best experience he could, wanted nothing more than to make you feel good.

It was unbearable how much your heart swelled for him.

A knot tied in your stomach, and as if noticing your stare, his eyes flutter open to look at you.“Hm, does baby wanna cum now? You can do it love, cum for daddy.”

With that, you came undone in Jungkook’s mouth. Your cries filled the room, and Jungkook opened your hole wider with his fingers, devouring your cream. The sound of slurping made your cheeks heat with an impure red. “That’s my girl, so good for daddy. So sweet for me baby, so beautiful.”

When you went limp in his arms, he gives your lips one last sweet kiss before standing on his knees. Jungkook smiles at the sight of you, already so fucked out even when he was no where near finished with you. 

He crawled forward, his forehead resting over yours once again. “Did that feel good, sweetie?” You nod shyly, your chests heaving up and down together. With rosy cheeks, you weakly bring your hands up to trace his jaw. “Jungkook?”

“Yes baby?” You melted to his dulcet voice, keeping his loving gaze. It held so much affection, so much adoration for you, you wondered why you never realized it.

“Kiss me, please.”

Jungkook smiles warmly. Without hesitation, he takes your lush, sweet lips in his. It was gentle, a kind of kiss that was so tender it made you warm with reassurance. You were kissing Jungkook—your silly, annoying, bratty, and all the while, lovable best friend of 20 years. It was strange and odd but more than anything, it felt so, unmistakably right.

You took Jungkook by surprise when you deepened the kiss, your hand squeezing his hair. He chuckled softly, pulling himself back momentarily to look into your eyes. “I love you,” he whispers.

Your cheeks heat up, but you fight your timidness as you smile back, “I love you too, Kookie.” 

With that, Jungkook delves back into your lips. A kiss that wasn’t so delicate this time. Rather, untamed and furious, as if Jungkook wanted to show you how much, how long he’s wanted this all this time.

You moaned into him as his hands groped your breasts, fingers twirling your perky nipples. “Jungkookie,” you hold your breath, feeling his clothed cock press against your core. “Fuck me please. Please, I need you so bad.”

“Yeah?” He lowers himself to take a nipple into his mouth. “Tell me how much you want it baby.” He flicked, swirled, and sucked it with his tongue, alternating with the other.

“W-Want it so bad daddy. Please, n-need you to fuck my wet pussy mm, daddy please.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he grins and sits up, pulling his shirt over his head, discarding his boxers and...

Oh.

Your breath hitched, blinking at Jungkook’s huge, painfully hardened cock. His tip was pink with sticky, white precum dribbling down his long member. It slightly pretruded up and its veins throbbed as if it’s been aching. And truly, he was. He’s been aching to feel your walls wrap around him for so long. You have no idea how hard he’s been trying to hold himself back for you. How painful it was to—and now, seeing you there, perfect and pretty, so shy and red just for him, Jungkook wasn’t sure he could anymore.

Jungkook needed you. He needed you getting stuffed full of his cock right now.

“I-Its so big...” You gulp as he centers himself in between your legs. “I know baby, so big and ready for your tiny cunt. Can you be a big girl and take it for me baby, hm? Let daddy fuck you until he’s satisfied? Let him use you like the little cock slut you are?”

“Y-yes daddy,” you whimper as he rubs his slick tip against your soaked, smooth cunt, sliding it back and forth. “I’m yours so please, p-please just use me daddy!”

“So good for me baby, such an obedient little slut for daddy, fuck,” Jungkook groans, slipping his tip into your lush walls. You cry as he stretches you all the way out, leaving no room for you to breathe with his tip poking your tummy. Your mind felt dizzy, mouth ajar with drool slipping out even when he hadn’t even moved yet. 

“Shiiit you should see yourself baby. Such a fucking whore for daddy’s cock. Can I move, baby? Or can this tiny little pussy not take my big cock?”

“I-I..mm, please, I can take it! Please fuck me daddy!”

“That’s my girl.” Jungkook starts off painfully slow but just as painfully hard, pushing your knees to your chest. He completely draws himself back so he can see his glistening, twitching tip before driving himself back into your core. “Shit baby, your pussy’s so, fuck, tight.” Jungkook moaned to how your breast bounced up and down every time he shoved himself in.

You were sobbing by the time he quickened his pace, the intense sensation having you light headed. Jungkook loved the way you looked under him, eyes rolled back with buried balls deep inside of you. “You like this baby? Love my cock filling you? Answer me.”

“L-love mm love so m—ah, Kookie..! f-feels so....g-good daddy.”

“Look at you, baby. Can’t even talk with daddy’s cock stuffing you. Such a dumb slut for daddy, so fucking hot baby.” Jungkook moans, juices spurting everywhere and dampening the sheets with every thrust.

“I-I’m not d-dumb..!” You whimpered, fat tears streaming down your eyes. Jungkook smirks, licking his lips.

“Aww, of course you are baby. Just a dumb little cock slut for daddy. Can only think of daddy’s cock, can you?”

You can’t bring yourself to answer, your mind too scrambled with each and every thrust. Jungkook was going so fast, so hard, you felt so full.

“That’s what I thought baby. My sweet girl, fucked dumb for daddy. You only need daddy’s cock, nothing else.” Jungkook positioned your legs over his shoulders, clenching on to them to drill deeper into your tummy.

“Oh, o-oh my god, ah d-daddy...! ‘m your slut...love your dick so m-much...love being stuffed with cock.” Jungkook groaned to your sinful moans, feeling his stomach tighten.

“Just want daddy to cum inside you, don’t you? Want daddy to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum, baby?”

“Y-yes, please daddy! Want daddy’s cum so bad! Please give me cum..!” Jungkook shoves his thumb inside of you plush lips, and god, he’s so proud of his work, so proud of you. You were taking his thumb like a good girl, sucking it as if it were his cock.

Jungkook felt his dick throb inside of you, aching for release. He pulls his thumb out with a pop of your wet lips, coated with saliva, and rubs figures over your clit. You scream, gripping onto the sheets. it was so much, too much for you to handle. Your back arches as he abuses your clit and sloppily fucks your hole.

“J-Jung–Jungkook, ah, please! Kookie! I-I’m..!”

“Its okay, baby, its okay. Gonna cum with daddy, hm? You can do it baby, sweet girl, cum for me,” Jungkook cooes, attempting to soothe your nerves, but his words are breathless and ragged. He thrusts in and out one, two, three, four more times until he burries himself deep inside you, spurts of thick cum filling your womb.

Jungkook groans as your pussy clenches around him, and you’re a sobbing, moaning, wet mess as you milk him. “Fuck, my sweet girl. Taking my cum like a big girl baby. So good for daddy, so fucking good for me.” With his praise, you feel yourself release soon after. Jungkook continues to thrust in and out of you, helping you ride out your high.

When he feels you falter in his arms, he pulls out and lays on top of you. Both of you stay like that for awhile, exhausted and in a daze.

With your moist bodies tangled with one another’s, you shut your eyes. You can hear Jungkook’s heartbeat hammer against yours, you short-winded breaths, and the soft whirring sound of the air conditioner.

Moonlight filtered in through your windows, casting a luminescent glow on Jungkook’s skin when he pushes his upper body up, his shoulders resting on either side of you.

Jungkook had spent the whole night cherishing you, telling you how pretty you were, and yet there he was—so ethereal under midnight’s grace. How could he be real?

You bring your hand to caress his cheeks. You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

In that moment, so intimate and sacred, His doe, gentle eyes that you could get lost in—that hold all the lost stars of the night sky, tell you all you need to know.

You yawn, stretching your arms high up. “Here’s your order maam,” two porcelain cups of matcha are placed in front of you, steam following it’s every movement. You mumble a thank you, smiling before your eyes drift to the man at the other side of the cross walk.

He’s wearing all black as per usual, revealing the beautiful tattoos that adorned his tan skin. His hair was tousled and he looked sleepy—after all, he’d just gotten out of class—but as soon as the crosswalk lights up with green, you chuckle when he sprints across and into the shop.

The bell that hung by the door didn’t even finish ringing before he runs to you, sweeping you off your chair and into his arms. “Kookie, let me down!” You giggle, but nonetheless wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I’m so proud of you baby,” he nuzzles his nose into yours. “You finally published it right? The twenty second chapter?”

a / n : ahhhhh its exactly 3:01am and i have class in the morning which is why the middle ending is super rushed sorry ! i truly wonder why i do this to myself.

this is my first smut fanfiction so i’m not sure how i did , but if anyone ever reads this , i hope you enjoyed ! i dont think im cut out to write smut, i truly did have headaches thinking of synonyms for thrust and dirty talk . i really admire smut writers ,, writing smut is not as easy as it seems !!

anyways , sending love abundance and happiness your ways. you deserve love, you’re worthy of love, and you are love.

stay safe and healthy starlights <3