#someone light a candle because it does not feel like god is listening so maybe we need to get his mom on the line

[the-everqueen]

good news: heard from [institution redacted] and they want my official start date to be Sept. 1st and are working with HR to get me the onboarding paperwork. bad news: my mom got x-rays and the neurosurgeon thinks she might need surgery to correct the fractured vertebrae because it may be impinging on nerves/otherwise displaced in a way that will limit her future mobility.

[jungkoode]

𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 | 12

˗ˏˋ vanilla coffee ˎˊ˗

"There's a science to making perfect coffee, he says. But there's no science to explain why watching him make it—shirtless and sleep-rumpled—makes you forget every reason you shouldn't want him."

next | index

⋆｡°✩ chapter details ✩°｡⋆

word count: 7,4k

rating: explicit (sex)

content: jungkook literally has a vanilla kink at this point i'm sorry that wasn't even planned he's just got free will, coffee lessons that are somehow hot, tiny shorts being instigators, verbal sparring as foreplay, protected sex, titty play, titty worship, penetrative vaginal sex, him fingering her

✧ author's note ✧

Listen. LISTEN. I don’t know what kind of demonic possession took over me while writing this chapter, but I had zero control over my own hands. Like, the coffee scene? The mug sharing? The delicious moment??? I AM IN HELL. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I started this chapter with the intention of them being petty little gremlins about vanilla-scented products, and somehow it ended with Jungkook making a whole latte just to flex on Y/N. A LATTE. And don’t even get me started on the mug proximity crimes. The way Y/N is actively short-circuiting over his hands and forearms like a Victorian woman seeing ankle for the first time?? We are ALL in trouble. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

And then—oh, god—the sweatpants menace. If you know, you know.

As always, please send thoughts, screams, and existential crises to the comment box. Love you, stay hydrated, and if a man ever offers to elevate your coffee… RUN. (Or sit in his lap. Your call.) (¬‿¬)

⋆｡°✩ read on✩°｡⋆

ao3

wattpad

Good tired is still tired.

Your bag hits the dining table with a thud that perfectly matches how your brain feels right now—heavy and slightly bruised. 

7PM. 

You gave him way more than forty minutes. Actually gave him two whole hours, not that you're counting. 

Not that you care. You're just... observant.

But then you catch it—that familiar scent hanging in the air. Vanilla. Your mind immediately goes to that specific vanilla body wash that costs way too much but is the only thing that doesn't make your skin break out.

Oh, he fucking didn't.

Your fist connects with his door maybe a bit harder than necessary. There's a loud thud from inside, followed by what sounds like someone falling off a bed, then a muffled "shit” before footsteps approach.

The door swings open and—oh.

Oh no.

He's shirtless, because of course he is. Hair a disaster, eyes heavy with sleep, that stupid silver ring catching the light as he runs a hand down his face. There's a pillow crease on his cheek and he looks... soft. Which is absolutely not what you need right now when you're trying to be angry.

"What," he growls, voice rough with sleep, "is your problem?"

Right. Anger. Focus on that.

"My problem?" You gesture vaguely at the air between you. "My problem is you letting random hookups use my shit!"

His brow furrows, like he's trying to process your words through a fog of interrupted sleep. Then his expression does this complicated thing—confusion to understanding to something else you can't quite read.

He presses his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Phoenix, I didn't." When he looks at you again, he seems more awake. "I told her your stuff was off limits."

"Then why does it smell like—"

He brushes past you, heading toward the bathroom, and you absolutely do not notice how warm he is when he passes. Or how he still smells like rain under the vanilla.

"Are you seriously walking away while I'm—"

He stops so suddenly you almost run into him. Turns. Points at the coffee table.

"It's your candle."

You follow his finger and... oh.

There's one of your vanilla candles burning quietly on the table, nearly at its end. Which means it's been lit for...

He groans, running a hand down his face again. "You said to open the windows, and I just..." He waves vaguely at the candle. "Whatever."

"You..." The words aren't quite computing. "You lit my candle?"

"You told me to air out the apartment."

"So you used my candle to get cozy with some random—"

"For fuck's sake, Phoenix." He looks like he's regretting every life choice that led him here. "I lit it because you like these stupid vanilla things, okay? Thought it'd make the place smell nice when you got back."

Oh.

Something warm and uncomfortable squirms in your chest. Because that's... that's actually kind of...

"Well." You cross your arms, refusing to acknowledge the weird feeling. "Maybe ask next time before using my stuff."

"Maybe don't ghost me for two hours when I asked for forty minutes."

"I was studying!"

"With your phone on silent?"

"Some of us have actual academic responsibilities, Rogue."

His mouth twitches. "Some of us have other responsibilities."

"Yeah, bet ‘pussy eating’ looks great on a résumé.”

“Didn’t eat her pussy. Just fucked it.”

You grimace. “TMI.”

He shrugs. “You brought it up.”

“You were the one bragging about responsibilities like it’s a noble calling.”

“Hey, takes dedication. Skill. Stamina.” A smirk. “Not my fault you’re fixated on it.”

Fixated—

“Right. Just like I’m fixated on your four-hour recovery nap.”

“Wasn’t napping the whole time.”

“Gross.”

“You asked.”

“I literally didn’t.”

He's fighting a smile now, you can tell. Which is annoying because you're trying to be mad about your candle. Or your body wash. Or... something.

"Whatever." You turn toward your room, because this conversation needs to end before you do something stupid like thank him for thinking about the smell. "Just ask next time."

"Before lighting your pretentious vanilla candles?"

"They're not pretentious."

"They're thirty dollars each."

"How do you know how much they—" You spin back around. "Have you been looking up my candles?"

"No."

"Oh my god, you totally have."

"I was curious why they cost so much when they all smell the same!"

"They do not all smell the same, you absolute heathen."

He raises an eyebrow. "French Vanilla and Vanilla Bean are literally the same thing."

"I'm not having this conversation with someone who probably thinks Old Spice is a personality trait."

"At least I don't need a PhD to buy soap."

"No, you just need—" You stop, narrowing your eyes. "Wait. How do you know what's in my shower?"

"You know what?" He stretches, and you absolutely do not track the movement with your eyes. "All this talk about vanilla is making me crave coffee. Specifically..." He grins, slow and deliberate. "Those vanilla capsules you hide in the back of the cabinet."

"Don't you dare—"

"The ones behind the protein powder?"

"Those are mine." You follow him as he saunters toward the kitchen, still annoyingly shirtless. "I specifically said they weren't for you."

"Come on, Phoenix." He's already moving toward the kitchen, all loose limbs and bare chest like putting on a shirt is beneath him. "Let me show you how to actually make coffee. Teach you some culture. Some technique."

You swat at him as he passes. "I know how to use a coffee maker."

"Sure you do." His laugh is rough with sleep, and you hate that you notice. "That's why you murdered a perfectly good espresso shot this morning."

"I did not—"

"The beans were crying, Phoenix. I heard them."

But you're already following him to the kitchen because apparently you hate yourself. 

He's wearing those stupid gray sweatpants that hang just low enough to be illegal in at least three states, and his hair is still a disaster from sleep, curling at the nape of his neck.

"First rule," he says, running his hands over the coffee maker like it's something precious, "is respecting the machine."

"It's a coffee maker, not royalty."

"See? No respect." His fingers dance over the settings with practiced ease. "That's why your coffee tastes like sad bean water."

You lean against the counter, watching as he measures grounds with ridiculous precision. 

"My coffee tastes fine."

"Your coffee tastes like betrayal and broken dreams." He adjusts the grind size, movements quick and sure. "You probably think instant coffee is acceptable."

"Only when I'm feeling particularly spiteful."

His horrified gasp is so dramatic it actually makes you laugh. "You're a monster."

"Guilty."

He shakes his head, tamping down the grounds with absolutely unnecessary focus. The muscles in his forearms flex with the movement, and you definitely don't notice. Just like you don't notice how his hands look wrapping around the portafilter, or how his ring catches the kitchen light when he locks it into place.

"Watch," he says, flipping switches with the confidence of someone who definitely spent too much time watching barista tutorials on YouTube. "This is where the magic happens."

"It's coffee, not alchemy."

"Shh. You're ruining the moment."

The machine hums to life, and okay—maybe you can kind of see why he's so precious about it. There's something almost hypnotic about the way the espresso streams out, dark and perfect.

"See how it's not running too fast?" He's fully in teacher mode now, gesturing at the flow. "That's what you want. Nice and steady. Not that waterfall disaster you created this morning."

"Are you done being pretentious yet?"

"Never." He grabs your vanilla capsules—the ones you specifically told him not to touch—and starts steaming milk. "But I'll make it worth your while."

"By stealing my coffee?"

"By elevating your coffee." The milk pitcher moves in his hand like it's an extension of his arm. "You'll never want that chain store stuff again."

"Bold of you to assume I want anything you make."

His smile is all trouble. "Liar."

And okay, maybe he has a point. Because the drink he slides across the counter a few minutes later looks... kind of perfect. The foam is glossy and smooth, and the vanilla smell hits just right.

"Well?" He raises an eyebrow, waiting.

You take a sip and—fuck.

Fuck.

"It's..." 

No. You refuse to give him the satisfaction.

But he's already grinning, the bastard. "Say it."

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, Phoenix." He leans forward, elbows on the counter. "Admit it. I made your vanilla whatever-the-fuck better than you ever could."

"I will literally die first."

"That good, huh?"

You flip him off, taking another sip instead of answering. But then he's there, right there, and when did he get so close? His fingers brush yours as he takes the mug, gentle but deliberate, and your throat goes dry.

He holds your gaze, something dark and playful dancing in his eyes. Doesn't ask permission with words—just tilts his head slightly, the question clear in the quirk of his mouth. And you should say something. Should stop him. Should—

The mug touches his lips. Your lips were just there. Three seconds ago, your mouth was exactly where his is now, and that shouldn't make your stomach clench but it does.

His eyes are too much. Too dark, too intense, too fucking knowing as he takes a slow sip. Have they always been this brown? This smoky? Like whiskey in low light, like trouble wrapped in honey. 

The kind of eyes that should come with a warning label: Danger. Side effects may include stupid decisions and ruined underwear.

His tongue darts out, catching a stray drop on his lower lip. Slow. Deliberate. The silver ring on his hand catches the light as he lowers the mug, and his voice drops to something husky.

"Delicious."

Nope. Absolutely not.

You snatch the mug back, ignoring how your fingers tingle where they brush his. "Make your own, you coffee nerd."

Retreat. Strategic retreat to the couch is definitely the smart play here. Because your brain is currently short-circuiting, trying to process how one word—one stupid, fucking word—in that voice can make your thighs press together.

His laugh follows you, low and knowing. The sound wraps around you like smoke, like the way he smelled that thunderstorm night, like—

Griffin chooses that exact moment to slink into the living room, green eyes judging you both as he hops onto the windowsill. He stretches, impossibly long, before curling into a perfect orange circle, pointedly turning his back to you both. 

At least someone in this apartment has standards.

Focus. You're focusing.

But then you hear him moving behind you. The quiet rhythm of his breathing, the soft appreciative hums as he works the coffee maker. The whisper of fabric as his sweatpants shift with his movements. Each sound feels magnified, like your brain has decided to process everything in HD surround sound.

Don't look back. Don't do it. Don't—

Fuck.

You glance over your shoulder and immediately regret every decision that led to this moment. Because his back is a work of art, all broad shoulders and defined muscle, and it's not fair. It's not fucking fair that even from behind he's attractive enough to make your mouth water. The way his shoulder blades move as he works the machine, the dip of his spine disappearing into those low-hanging sweats, the unruly hairs curling at his nape...

Snap your head forward. Drink your coffee. Stop being a horny disaster for five consecutive minutes.

But you can still hear him. Still feel his presence behind you like a looming cloud. Still taste the ghost of his lips where they touched the same spot yours did on the mug.

This is fine. Everything is fine. You're just tired and touch-starved and maybe a little worked up from your stupid assignments—

"Want another taste, Phoenix?"

His voice is closer now, right behind you, and you absolutely do not shiver. "Didn't anyone teach you to drink your own coffee?"

"Didn't anyone teach you that stealing tastes better?"

You refuse to turn around. Refuse to acknowledge how his words squeeze your chest. "You're impossible."

"You like impossible."

And that's... that's not something you're equipped to handle right now. Not with him standing there all sleep-warm and shirtless, voice rough like gravel, smelling like rain and coffee and sin.

"I like peace and quiet," you lie, taking another sip of your rapidly cooling drink.

His laugh is soft, dangerous. "Liar."

The couch dips as he drops down next to you, thigh pressed against yours like he owns the space. Like personal boundaries are just suggestions. He has a mug in hand now, and his coffee smells kind of amazing and you hate him for it.

You shift away, but his hand lands on your thigh—warm, heavy, there. His fingers span the width of it easily, and your brain helpfully supplies memories of those same fingers in other contexts. 

It doesn’t escape your notice, how his eyes linger on where your shorts have ridden up your thighs from your hours in the library. 

"No," you manage, swatting his thigh with yours.

"No what?" His voice is still rough from sleep, and it's doing things to you. Unfair things.

"No manspreading next to me." You try to sound annoyed instead of affected. "Keep your sweaty balls to yourself."

He squeezes your thigh, just once. Just enough to make you want to throw the mug at him. Or yourself. "My balls aren't sweaty."

"Bet they are.”

"Want to check?"

"You're actually the worst." But you don't move his hand. Why aren't you moving his hand?

"That's not what you said last time."

And fuck him for bringing up last time. Fuck him for smelling like rain and coffee and sleep-warm skin. Fuck him for the way his thumb is drawing absent circles on your thigh, like he's not even aware he's doing it.

"Lapse in judgment."

His laugh rumbles through you, too close, too much. "Which time?"

"Pick one."

"I'd rather pick you up."

You turn to tell him exactly where he can shove that line, but it's a mistake. Because he's right there, all heavy-lidded eyes and sleep-soft mouth, and your brain fizzles. His hair is still a mess, curling at his temples, and you want to grab it. Want to find out if it's as soft as it looks. Want to—

"You're staring, Phoenix."

"Untrue."

His fingers flex on your thigh. "Big word for someone who can't stop looking at my mouth."

"I'm not—" But you are. You absolutely are. "Shut up."

"Make me."

Always those two damn words. Always saying ‘make me’, like he knows how it riles you up. Like he likes how it riles you up. His eyes are dark, dangerous, and you can feel his pulse through his fingers on your thigh. Or maybe that's your pulse. Everything feels too hot, too close, too—

"Your coffee's getting cold," you manage, voice embarrassingly breathy.

His smile is slow, knowing. "Yeah?”

His eyes drop to your shorts—the ones you've been wearing all day, the ones that rode up your thighs during your study session. And okay, maybe they're a little too short. Maybe you felt Jimin's concerned glance when you stretched in the library. But it's not your fault the AC in your car is temperamental at best.

"These can't be comfortable after sitting in the library all day," he murmurs, fingers playing with the hem. “Could help you out of them."

"Thought you were tired from your afternoon activities."

"Second wind." His thumb traces the seam where it cuts into your thigh. "Come here."

You raise an eyebrow, ignoring how your body wants to lean into his touch. "I am here."

"No," and his voice drops lower, rougher. "Here." He pats his lap, and the casual confidence of it irritating. Hot. Irritatingly hot. "Unless you're scared."

"Of what? Your ego?"

"Of how bad you want it." His eyes flick to your chest, where your shirt dips just low enough to be interesting. "Been thinking about these shorts all day. Since you drove me to class."

"Didn't realize my driving skills were such a turn on."

"Your driving skills are terrible." His hand slides higher, testing. "But watching you grip the steering wheel..."

You swallow. "That's kind of pathetic."

"Yeah?" His fingers find the spot where your shorts meet skin. "Then why are you breathing so hard?"

"Because you're annoying me."

He laughs, low and dangerous. "Hop on, Phoenix. Let me annoy you properly."

"That's your big move? 'Hop on'?"

“As long as it gets you on top of me...” He smiles now, actually smiles. “I’d say it’s working.”

And fuck him for being right. Fuck him for the way his eyes are all pupil now, for how his skin is still warm, for how he smells like everything you want to taste.

"You're awful," you breathe, but you're already shifting closer.

"Show me how awful."

His fingers hook through your belt loop and suddenly you're being yanked forward with zero warning. The squeak that leaves your mouth is embarrassing.

"Rude," you swat at him, but he catches your wrist easily. His hand is so warm around your cold skin.

"C'mere," he breathes, and before you can process it, you're straddling him. 

His hands slide down to grab your ass, fingers digging into the flesh and pulling you closer until you fall forward, catching yourself with hands on either side of his head.

He hums, the sound vibrating through you where you're pressed against him. And—yeah. Well. That's definitely not his phone in his sweats.

"Ride me?" The way he says it is almost lazy, but his eyes are dark, hungry. That half-lidded look that means tarnation.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Phoenix." His fingers flex on your ass, making you rock against him. "Don't be mean."

You raise an eyebrow, trying to ignore how good he feels under you. "Mean?"

"Been hard since I saw you in these fucking shorts this morning." He bites his lip, looking up at you through his lashes. "Just thinking about your thighs spread over my lap like this..."

"That sounds like a you problem."

His laugh is breathless, a little wild. "I’ll make it an us problem."

"Thought you were tired from earlier."

"Different kind of tired." His hands guide you into a slow grind against him. "This is more... inspiration."

"You're actually insane."

"Yeah?" He rocks up, making you gasp. "Feeling pretty sane right now. Feeling like I really want you to—fuck—" 

You'd rolled your hips, just to shut him up. Just to wipe that cocky smirk off his face. But now he's looking at you like you’re his favorite dessert, and his hands are everywhere, and—

"That's it," he breathes, voice gone raspy. "Just like that, come on..."

He guides your hips into another roll, watching you with that hungry, hazy look. His thumbs dig into your hipbones, controlling the pressure, the pace.

"Been thinking about this," he breathes, voice rough. "How you'd look bouncing on my cock. How your tits would—fuck—" You grind down harder, feeling him twitch against you. "Haven't even gotten to see them properly yet."

"Poor you," but your voice shakes when his hands slide up under your shirt, spanning your ribs.

"Poor me," he agrees, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts. "All I got was that quick fuck against the window. Then you cumming on my tongue." His eyes are dark, pupils blown. "But this? Getting to watch you ride me? See these bounce while you—"

"You talk too much." You're trying for annoyed but it comes out breathy.

"Make me shut up then." His hips snap up. "Come on, Phoenix. Show me how well you can take it, yeah?"

"That's your big plan? Get me all worked up in the living room?"

“Getting worked up anywhere you’ll let me.” His fingers find your nipples through your bra, rolling them until you arch. “Been waiting to get you like this. Spread out on top of me, swallowing me deep in this greedy pussy…”

You let out a breathy laugh, grinding down just to spite him. “Yeah?” Your voice is pure teasing, but the heat is real. “She didn’t wring you out completely?”

His grip tightens on your waist, nails pressing in just enough to make you feel it. “Seems like she didn’t.”

You hum, dragging your hips forward again, slow and deliberate. “Mm. That’s a shame.”

“Yeah?” His voice dips, rough and taunting, but his hands—his fucking hands—are already shoving your shirt up, fingers tracing up your spine before yanking your bra down just enough to expose you. His thumb drags over one nipple, his breath warm against your throat. “You wanna fix that?”

You pretend to consider, rolling your hips again, dragging your pussy right over the thick ridge of him. Fuck. He’s not even inside you, and it’s already so good.

“I don’t know,” you murmur. “Wouldn’t want to overwork you.”

His laugh is sharp, incredulous. “Nix.” His voice is wrecked—the kind of hoarse, hungry sound that goes straight to your cunt. “You feel what you’re doing to me?” He thrusts up, slow but deep, and you suck in a breath. “Think I’m fucking tired?”

And yeah, okay. He’s still hard as fucking steel beneath you. Still needy. Still looking at you like he’s seconds from losing what little patience he has left.

“It’s these fucking shorts,” he mutters, grabbing a handful of your ass like he wants to leave bruises. “Oh my god, this fucking ass.”

You hold back a laugh, rolling your hips again, enjoying the way his breath stutters. “That easy, huh?”

His hands tighten on you. “You know what you do to me.” His mouth finds your throat, teeth scraping just enough to make you quiver. “S’why you wore these, right?”

You don’t answer, just reach between you to shove down his sweatpants, dragging them low enough to free his cock. And—fuck. He’s so hard it’s almost obscene, thick and flushed and already leaking. 

“Jesus,” you mutter, running a teasing finger up his shaft, watching his stomach tense. “Didn’t even get a full reset, did you?”

His jaw flexes. “No.” A muscle in his cheek jumps as he watches you wrap your hand around him. “The fuck do you expect when you walk around in these little fucking—” His breath hitches when you thumb over the head, smearing the wetness there. “Shit—shorts. The second I saw you, I knew—”

“You knew what?” You press the question into his skin, lips just beneath his jaw, hand still working him slow.

His grip on your ass tightens, grounding, punishing. “Knew I was gonna end up inside you tonight.”

And fuck. That sends a fresh wave of heat through you, has your thighs squeezing around him. Because yeah, okay, maybe you had the same thought the second you walked in and saw him standing there in nothing but those damn sweatpants.

But there’s still one thing gnawing at you. One thing that makes your brain fight for a fraction of control through the heat.

“Did you use condoms?”

His head snaps up, brow furrowing like you just asked if water is wet. “Of course I did. Who the fuck do you think I am?”

You exhale, relief flooding through you faster than the heat pooling low in your stomach. 

“Okay, fuck. Okay.” You swallow. “Where are they?”

And Jungkook—fucking Jungkook—instead of answering, he grabs your tits. Both hands, rough and impatient, unclasping you bra like it personally offended him.

“Jesus—wait—” You barely manage to lift your arms before he’s yanking it over your head, flinging it somewhere behind him.

“You on the pill?” he murmurs, barely pausing his focus on your tits.

“No.” You don’t even hesitate.

And to his credit, he doesn’t either. “Okay. Condoms it is.”

Respectful. A menace, but respectful.

You barely have time to process that before his fingers are pressing into the small of your back, guiding you forward, making you press flush against him as he leans toward the coffee table.

And you—because apparently you’re both equally insane—just let him.

His other hand reaches forward, jerking open the small drawer in the coffee table, fishing out a foil packet with practiced ease.

“You keep condoms in the living room?”

Jungkook doesn’t even blink. “Yeah. Just in case.”

“In case?” Your eyebrows shoot up. “Don’t you fuck in your room like normal people?”

“Yeah?” He grabs the foil packet, tossing it onto the couch beside him before his hands are right back on your waist, thumbs sliding under the waistband of your shorts. “But, y’know… just in case you wanted it.”

Your brain short-circuits for a second. “Me?”

“You, Phoenix.” He squeezes your hips like he’s grounding himself, like he has to touch you while he says it. “I usually fuck in my room. But you and me—we already did it against the window, so I figured…” He shrugs, casual as ever. “Might as well be prepared.”

“I—” You blink, processing, trying to form actual thoughts. “That’s crazy.”

He shrugs, so fucking nonchalant it’s unfair. “Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Think about it.” His mouth curls, eyes flicking from your mouth to your bare chest and back again. “Imagine I had to stop and go all the way to my room right now.” He pauses, letting the implication settle. “Wouldn’t that just kill the mood?”

And okay. You do snort at that.

Because this is ridiculous.

Because this is actually thoughtful.

Because he’s still hard as a rock under you, talking about condom logistics while casually groping your ass, like he’s planning for a fire drill and not fucking you senseless on the couch.

“No, like. You’re a complete nut case,” you murmur, shaking your head.

“Quick access,” he corrects, and then—fuck.

His mouth is on your tits again.

No hesitation, no teasing buildup, just his tongue dragging over one nipple, warm and slick before closing his lips around it.

Your breath catches, fingers twitching where they brace on his shoulders. “Jesus—”

He hums against your skin, like this is just an extension of the conversation. Like he can talk about fucking you and have his tongue on your tits in the same breath.

And then, because he’s Jungkook and apparently completely fucking obsessed with your chest, he moves to the other one, sucking deep and slow, like he’s savoring it.

“Can’t help it,” he mutters against you, voice rough. “Tits too fucking perfect.”

Which—okay. You shouldn’t preen at that, but his mouth is so fucking warm, and his hands are so fucking big—

Your nails dig into his shoulders, and his breath stutters.

And then he’s leaning back just enough to look up at you, lips slick, pupils blown. “You gonna let me fuck you cowgirl now, or you wanna keep pretending we’re still talking?”

You poke at his dick playfully, watching with satisfaction as it twitches immediately.

His breath stutters, eyes flicking up to yours, but he doesn’t say a word. Just watches—completely absorbed—as you pluck the condom from the side and roll it down over him, slow and deliberate.

His jaw flexes, lips parting slightly, and when you glance up, you catch it—his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, hard enough to leave a mark.

“Fuck,” he mutters, voice all low and wrecked.

You smirk, dragging your fingers back up his shaft just because you can, because you like making him twitch, like how he watches you like he’s seconds from losing his mind.

His hands are already on your thighs when you lift up, finally removing those tiny ass shorts—but when your fingers hook into your panties, he stops you.

“Keep them.”

You blink, brows furrowing. “What?”

“Fuck, I don’t know.” His hands skim up, palms rough against your bare skin. “They’re red and lacy and fucking beautiful—” His voice breaks off into a sharp exhale as he shifts under you, cock nudging against the damp lace between your legs. “Just shove them to the side and let me fuck you like this.”

Heat licks down your spine, and fuck, maybe it is kind of hot—his voice raw, gaze locked where you’re already so wet for him.

“Yeah?” You drag the fabric aside, slow and teasing, letting him see what he’s about to have. “You want me to ride you like this?”

“Nix.” His voice is all smoke and gravel. “Fucking sit on it.”

Your fingers tighten on his shoulders.

And then, in one swift motion, you sink down onto him.

“Fuck—”

Jungkook shudders, breath breaking apart as he bottoms out inside you, hands clamping down on your hips so hard it’s murderous. His fingers dig deep into your skin, like he’s fighting the urge to slam you down harder, deeper, but he doesn’t—he just grips, holds, feels.

And fucking watches.

Because this—this—is his favorite.

The way you stretch around him, the way he can see it, can watch himself disappear inside you from this angle. The lace of your panties bunched to the side, the way your slick coats his cock, the slow, obscene drag as he throbs inside you.

His jaw clenches, his head falling back, but his eyes stay locked on where your bodies meet. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

You suck in a breath, thighs trembling slightly, trying to adjust to the stretch, the pressure, the way he fills you completely. You brace your hands on his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle shift beneath your palms as he groans deep in his throat.

“You feel that, Nix?” His voice is rough, wrecked. “Feel how deep you’re taking me?”

You bite your lip, trying not to squirm at the way that sounds coming from him, the way his cock pulses inside you like he can feel every little squeeze.

His grip on your hips flexes. “Come on, let me hear you.”

You swallow hard, already feeling too fucking warm. “I—”

“I what?” His hands slide down, palms rough and greedy as they find your ass, grabbing handfuls, spreading you just to push inside you deeper. “Fuck, Phoenix, you feel so fucking good.”

Your thighs twitch, heat licking up your spine, and okay—okay, maybe that makes something inside you tighten. The way he wants you to feel it. The way he sounds like he’s barely holding on.

“Look at you. Sitting so fucking pretty on my cock like this.”

Your breath stutters.

“Fuck—” His fingers flex again, grip punishing, possessive. “Knew you’d look good like this. In this position. Been dreaming ‘bout it.”

You exhale shakily, pressing your palms harder against his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath your hands.

“Yeah?” The word slips out before you can stop it, quiet, breathless, barely more than an exhale. 

And then, even as much as you convince yourself you hate dirty talk—his dirty talk—how you tell yourself it’s cringe… You find yourself engaging. You find yourself slipping. 

“You wanted me in this position, Ro? Riding you?”

And Jungkook? He fucking relishes on it.

“Yeah,” he rasps, dark eyes flicking up to yours, mouth curling slow, dirty. “Getting bold on me, Phee?”

Heat rushes up your throat, your pulse pounding, but you don’t look away. You can’t—not with the way he’s looking at you, not with how deep he is inside you.

“God,” he groans, hands gripping your ass again, spreading you wider just to watch himself sink into you even more. “You should see how you look right now.”

His voice is wrecked—half-growl, half-moan—and you have to fight the way your thighs want to squeeze around him, hold him there.

But he notices.

And grins.

“Fucking knew it,” he mutters, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “You like hearing it, don’t you?”

You suck in a sharp breath, fingers twitching on his chest. “Shut up.”

“Nah.” He tilts his head, thumbs digging into your skin, grounding, teasing. “Think I finally got you to like it.”

And fuck—fuck—you can’t even argue, because his cock twitches inside you and your whole body reacts, a shiver running up your spine.

His smirk widens. “See?”

You exhale sharply. “Rogue.”

“Phoenix.” His hands tighten again, his voice a slow, taunting drawl. “C’mon, yeah? Ride me.”

Your thighs flex as you lift yourself up, the slow drag of him leaving you just enough to make you whimper, then you sink back down, faster this time, harder.

Jungkook’s jaw goes slack, hands gripping your ass like he’s barely holding himself together. “Christ—”

But you don’t stop. You can’t stop.

You move again, rising and dropping, setting a pace that has his breath coming out in ragged exhales, his nails biting into your skin. Every inch of him stretches you open, fills you up, makes your stomach coil tighter and tighter.

And then—

His right hand moves.

Fingers slipping lower, rough against your skin, then lower, lower—

Until he’s spreading you.

His fingers part your folds, stretching you open wider just so he can watch himself disappear inside you.

“For fuck’s sake Ro—”

“Shit,” he exhales, low and wrecked, eyes locked on where his cock is sliding in and out of you, the obscene wetness coating both of you. “Look at that. Fucking dripping for me, Phoenix. Can’t help it.”

Your thighs shake, breath shuddering, and you want to tell him to shut the fuck up—but you can’t, because you may not see it, but you feel it. The way your body takes him, how slick and messy it is, how deep he’s buried every time you drop back down.

It’s filthy. He’s filthy.

“You’re so nasty,” you gasp, nails digging into his chest for balance.

He laughs, dark and smug. “And you fucking love it.”

Before you can snap back, he finally—finally—looks up at you.

And his breath stutters.

Because, of course, in this position, your tits are bouncing.

His pupils blow wide, throat working through a hard swallow, and then—his hands fly up immediately.

Grabbing. Palming. Squeezing.

“Fuck,” he groans, voice breaking apart, gaze flicking between your tits and your face like he doesn’t know where to look first. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

His grip on your waist tightens, nails digging in, and then—his head falls back. His chest rises and falls beneath your hands, breath coming in sharp, desperate pants.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he gasps, voice wrecked, low and so needy you almost mewl, because you’ve never heard him like that. “Gonna cum so fucking bad—”

Your rhythm stutters. “Don’t you dare finish before me.”

“Fucking—” He grunts, muscles tensing beneath you as his hands clamp down harder, like he’s fighting it, trying to hold on, but— “Oh my fucking god, Phoenix—”

You can feel him struggling—his thighs trembling beneath you, abs flexing tight, his cock twitching inside you, buried so deep.

“How the fffffuck—” his breath shudders, “do you expect me—Jesus Christ—to hold b-back when your tits—god—”

His hands are everywhere—palming, grabbing, fucking worshiping your chest like he’s possessed—and then his mouth is there again, latching onto your right tit, tongue flicking over your nipple, sucking deep and wet.

“Shit,” you whimper, back arching.

“Fuck—fuck—” 

He suddenly leans back, dragging you down hard onto his cock as he thrusts up to meet you, hips snapping with short, frantic rolls.

Your breath shatters, thighs burning, your whole body jolting with every desperate slam of his hips. 

And his eyes.

Jesus.

His eyes are locked on you, wide and hungry, flicking between your parted lips and your chest.

And then—

“Grab ‘em,” he pants, voice rough, ruined. “Fuck—grab those titties for me, Phee.”

Your stomach flips.

“Grab’em while you ride me—” His breath catches, his abs flexing. “Fucking—God, I need to see it—”

Heat floods your spine, your pulse pounding as you do what he says—palms sliding up, gripping the soft weight of your tits, squeezing just enough to lift, to move, to give him exactly what he wants.

And his reaction—

“Jesus fucking—” His head falls back hard against the couch before snapping back up, completely fucking wrecked. “Oh my god—look at them—look at you—fuck, fuck—”

His fingers dig into your hips, forcing you down harder, thighs flexing beneath you as he thrusts up, trying to get deeper, trying to burn this into his brain.

“Oh god, oh god, Phoenix— I swear to fucking God—” His hands slide down, gripping your ass. “Fucking dripping— so messy for me—”

His voice breaks on a groan, hips slamming up, chasing it, his body seizing up as he loses it.

“Shit—shit—I’m—oh my god—fuck—I’m cumming—”

And then—he snaps.

His grip on your waist locks, his whole body tensing beneath you, and his head tips back, mouth falling open as he moans—a deep, raw sound from the bottom of his fucking chest.

He creams inside the condom, hips jerking up in short, shallow thrusts, pulsing thick and hot as he spills into it.

His hands shake as they guide your hips down, grinding you onto him, milking every last drop, needing to feel every second of it.

And you—

You’re about to sigh, about to roll your eyes, because seriously? He just came? You haven’t even—

But before the frustration can even fully settle, he moves.

One second, he’s slumped against the couch, breathless, spent. 

The next—he’s flipping you onto your back.

Your gasp barely leaves your lips before his hands are on your thighs, gripping, spreading you open like it’s his fucking right, pushing your knees toward your chest.

And then—no hesitation.

No questions asked, no smug teasing, no half-assed effort—just his fingers shoving your panties back to the side, replacing his cock with two thick fingers, burying them inside you like he already fucking knows you can taste it.

Your breath shatters. “Jesus—”

“Shh,” he murmurs, focused, dark eyes locked on your pussy as his fingers curl, stretching you open, pressing deep. “Not leaving you hanging.”

And fuck—fuck—his thumb.

Right there, dragging over your clit, pressing just right with slow, deliberate circles.

Your thighs twitch, your hands clenching in the couch cushions as your body jolts from the sudden shock of pleasure. “Oh—fuck—”

“That’s it,” he groans, gaze flicking up to watch your face, your wrecked fucking expression as he fingers you open. “Gimme that pretty little shake—know you’re close.”

You barely process your own whimper before he’s pressing in harder, thrusting his fingers faster, his thumb working you like he owns your orgasm.

“You think I’d leave you like that?” His voice is low, hushed, wrecked, pressing filthy into the space between you. “Think I’d fucking cum and not make you lose your mind, too?”

“Ro—”

“Nah, Phoenix.” His fingers drive into you, slick and obscene, thumb relentless. “You’re gonna cum all over my hand—” he leans in, breath warm against your throat, “and I’m gonna watch every fucking second of it.”

His fingers pump into you, wet and filthy, every slick thrust echoing between you. And god, the sounds are just so fucking obscene it makes you want to die a little.

“Come on, give it to me, Phee,” Jungkook rasps.

You can barely breathe. His thumb keeps dragging over your clit in these slow, devastating circles, the pressure just right, and your whole body is trembling, your thighs twitching where he holds them open.

“Listen to that,” he groans, gaze flicking down, mesmerized. “So fucking wet for me. Making a mess all over my hand.”

And then his mouth is on you again.

He latches onto your tit, sucking deep, tongue flicking over your nipple before pulling off just to groan against your skin. 

“God, your vanilla shit Phoenix. Makes you taste so good. Could suck on these all fucking day—”

“Jungkook—”

“Yeah? You gonna cum?” 

Your back arches, hands flying to grip his arms because—fuck—fuck. The pressure is too much, his fingers so deep, his mouth so hot, and you’re right there—right fucking there—

“That’s it,” he groans, hand drenched, your walls pulsing around his fingers. “Come on, give it to me.”

And then—

It hits.

Pleasure rips through you, fast and all-consuming.

And Jungkook—fucking Jungkook—just groans, watching you fall apart.

“Mm, yeah that’s it,” he mutters, fixated on the way you shake, the way your pussy flutters around his fingers, soaking his palm. “So fucking good, huh?”

His name slips out in a wrecked, shattered moan, and he loves it, enjoying every sound, drinking in every twitch and tremble.

He finally slows his movements as you shudder through the aftershocks, his fingers still deep, thumb pressing lazy circles to wring out every last second of it.

“Shit,” he murmurs, voice a little breathless, and when you manage to blink down at him, he’s staring at his own hand—glistening, messy, coated in you.

His throat works.

And then—his eyes flick back to yours.

And he fucking grins.

Jungkook collapses on top of you.

Full weight. No warning. Just dead fucking weight pressing you into the couch, knocking the air from your lungs.

“Oh my—get off!” You yelp, struggling beneath him, but he doesn’t budge.

“Nnngghh,” he groans into your neck, voice muffled, completely ignoring you. “Shut the fuck up and let me rest for five minutes.”

You blink up at the ceiling, absolutely fucking done. “Weren’t you sleeping, like, thirty minutes ago?”

“Your point?” His breath is warm against your skin, his body solid and heavy, still way too fucking hot from everything that just happened.

“My point,” you grumble, wiggling under him, “is that you’ve done literally nothing today except nut and nap, so why are you tired?”

“Because,” he mutters, arms tightening around your waist, “I’m a growing boy.”

You snort, smacking his bare back. “You’re a menace.”

He just hums, pressing his face into your neck like he’s about to fall asleep right there, and for a second, you let it happen—just breathing, the two of you still wrecked, bodies cooling down, silence stretching.

But then—

“Oh, shit—”

Jungkook jumps, suddenly wide awake, jolting upright so fast he nearly knocks you off the couch.

You blink up at him, still catching your breath. “What the fuck is wrong with you—”

“Wait—” He leans over you, hands on either side of your head, eyes huge and excited. “Do you have any toys?”

You stare at him. “What?”

“Toys,” he repeats, fully invested now. “Sex toys, Nix. I didn’t even think about it, but—fuck—I could’ve made you finish with one.”

You blink again, brain scrambling to catch up. “No?”

His brows furrow. “Why not?”

“Why would I—” You sit up slightly, pushing at his chest. “Do I look like I came here with a full-ass sex kit?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, genuinely baffled, “don’t you girls have dildos and shit?”

“Oh my fucking—” You shove his shoulder. “Do you really think when I was packing my shit to move in, I was like, ‘mmm, yeah, definitely need to bring my dildo’?”

His eyes narrow. “So you had one?”

“No—”

“So you’ve never had one?”

“No, Ro, my parents would’ve killed me.”

He pauses, frowning like he’s actually considering that for a second. Then, with absolutely zero hesitation—

“Okay, then we’re going toy shopping.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, no, fuck that.” He waves a hand, like this is a done deal, like you don’t even get a say. “You’re getting something. I refuse to believe you’ve gone your whole life without at least a vibrator. That’s a crime.”

“A crime?”

“Yes.” His face is serious, like this is a personal offense to him. “You deserve to cum even when I’m not here.”

“I don’t need you to cum.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

“Oh my fucking—” You drop your head back against the couch, groaning. “You’re so stupid.”

“I’m being a good friend.” He grins, smug as hell. “And an amazing fuck buddy.”

“We are not friends.”

He blinks. “What?”

“We’re not friends.” You cross your arms, looking him dead in the eye. “Fuck buddies. No friends.”

Jungkook gasps, pressing a hand to his chest like you just deeply wounded him. “That hurts.”

“You’ll live.”

“Aren’t we, like, friends with benefits or something?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Fuck buddies. No friends. Just the benefits.”

“That’s the stupidest logic I’ve ever heard.”

“Coming from Mr. Stupid himself? Woah.”

“Pft. Right.” He stretches, cracking his neck, still grinning like an idiot. “Then we’re going this weekend.”

“To what?”

“Buy you a vibrator.”

“Fuck you.”

“Bet.”

You swat at him, grin still on his face and all. 

next | index

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© jungkoode 2025 no reposts, translations, or adaptations

[leashybebes]

fic: blue and gold (28/28)

here we are, folks! @bucktommyfluffebruary day 28 prompt is wedding proposal and my fill is here and below

thank you to everyone who's read along with these snippets and huge huge thank you to @aesthetictarlos for putting on this lovely event. look away, uncharacteristic sincerity incoming: i've never really participated in a fandom event like this before, and the response has been overwhelming in the best way. i love it here. i love you guys. you make me so happy. (okay gross, don't look at me, go read the fic.)

The food goes over well. Tommy goes nuts for the sandwiches and the salad especially. Buck gets to kiss frosting off the corner of his mouth. Tommy showers him with compliments and thanks. They talk about their days - Buck spent most of his cooking so he doesn't have much to add, but he's happy to listen to the rundown of Tommy's calls. Tommy got to fly a lot, got to spend time in the air like he loves. He's happy and loose as he leans back on his hands, talking Buck through a rescue he worked with Lucy.

It feels like a good omen that Tommy had a fun shift and that Buck got to spend the day doing something he loves, for someone he loves.

"Sounds like a good day," Buck says, and despite how confident he felt on the drive to Harbor his throat feels a little dry now. Nervous, not anxious, though. He takes another beer from the cooler and twists off the cap, handing it over to Tommy.

"Thank you, baby."

"You want a cookie to go with that?" Buck offers.

"Maybe later," Tommy says. "I'm stuffed."

Buck nods, shuffles a little closer. "You like those beers?" he asks.

"Yeah," Tommy says, taking a glance at the label. The light's too dim to make it out properly so he tilts the bottle towards one of the LED candles to read it. Buck takes advantage of his distraction to reach into another pocket in the cooler, palming the box he's hidden in at least five different places in the last month. Thankfully, the light's gone out of the day quick enough that Tommy probably can't see the little tremble in his hands as he pulls his sleeves down so he can hide the box inside his cuff.

"Champagne beer?" Tommy glances up at Buck. "Cute. Are we celebrating something?"

"Always," Buck says, squeezing his hands together to stop them shaking. "I always feel like I'm celebrating with you."

Tommy's face softens, smile lines chasing across his face. "You're so sweet," he says.

"Tommy," he says, and something in his tone must tip Tommy off because he looks at him with wide eyes.

"Evan…"

"Let me," Buck says. "You make me so happy. You try harder for me than anyone ever has. I want this forever."

Tommy's frozen, but not like he was that time that Buck tripped over himself and his feelings and pitched moving in together before they'd even said they loved each other. This time it's like he's holding his breath, like he's trying to crystalize this moment. Buck's already smiling when he opens the ring box, because he knows the answer. He really, really does.

"Tommy. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," Tommy says. "God, yes. Evan. Yes. Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. I love you. Yes. Yes."

It's like he can't stop saying it, his lips still shaping the word when Buck kisses him, the feel of it immediately becoming his favourite thing in the world.

[who-let-a-bird-in]

Giving batfam songs I think fit them and they would like

Bruce- Lithium by Nirvana (I have to)

(Ok so tumblr seems to really hate links to nirvana songs, so I’m sorry but Bruce won’t have a link, the song shouldn’t be hard to find if you want to find it)

(This is my third time typing this, sorry if it seems like I’m annoyed while I am, tumblr is being fucking stupid tonight) I picked the song lithium for Bruce because of a few lines in particular. The song itself is about a man who is depressed and finds god, but to me it represents how Bruce became Batman and what it did for him. “And just maybe I’m to blame for all I’ve hurt, but I’m not sure” can represent how Bruce hurts his friends and family by doing what he does as Batman, but often doesn’t realize the extent of it, he doesn’t know if he should be blaming himself because he doesn’t know how much he’s hurting them. “Light my candles in a daze, cause I found god” could easily be about how at this point he doesn’t think about being Batman, he just is. Finally “I missed you, I’m not gonna crack” to me is about his no killing rule. Even with how much he misses and loves his parents and kids (especially Jason) after their deaths he refuses to kill, he misses and loves them but he won’t crack.

Dick- Mama by My Chemical Romance

I picked this one for Dick because the song is about a solider going off to war, and when they come home their mother is horrified by the atrocities committed by her child. I think that could fit both Dick and his parents and Dick and Bruce. Dick’s biggest fear is disappointing Bruce, and if Bruce were to find out some of the things Dick has done that’s exactly what would happen. One of Dicks first thoughts after the blockbuster incident is what Bruce would say.

Babs- Malibu by Hole

The song is about how Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain used to talk about leaving LA to go move to Malibu together and get away from it all, and it kind of reminds me of Barbara and Dick, because neither of them would walk away, but I think there would be times they talked about it, but also I think a lot of hole songs would fit Barbara in general.

Jason- Bullet With Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumpkins

“Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage, someone will say ‘what is lost can never be saved’” and “tell me I’m the only one, tell me there’s no other one, Jesus was an only son” (and “Jesus was an only son for you) are enough to explain why this fits Jason. (Alternatively for a younger Jason, army dreamers by Kate Bush)

Cass- The Garden by The Crane Wives

Truly if you haven’t listened to this song you really should, the crane wives are an amazing band and so many of their lyrics just read as poetry. But I picked this song for Cass specifically because of the lines “the crows in the garden are laughing at my expense” “hold your light to the darkness in my brain, put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat” or “my darling, the devil knows my name.” To me as a whole the song represents the way that Cass has spent so much of her life being used for others gain (mostly by her father), the line about the darkness in the singers mind reminds me of the fact that Cass doesn’t think of herself as a good person, which is why I think the line is fitting.

Tim- Boys Don’t Cry by The Cure

Tim has had a long history of going through extremely traumatic things but refusing to feel the emotions that come with it, that coupled with the misogynistic writers for Tim Drake in the 90’s made me pick this for him. The lines “I would do most anything to get you back by my side” or “but I know that it’s too late and now there’s nothing I can do, so I try to laugh about it cover it all up with lies” really represented the grief he’s had to go through with loosing friends and family for me.

Steph- give me Novocain/ she’s a rebel by Green Day

Both of them work for Steph really fucking well and I’ve said the she’s a rebel thing before the post just got no notes, both songs are also incredibly underrated and glossed over and so is Steph. (Alternatively so nice, so smart by Kimya Dawson, although to me that more represents her relationship with Tim)

Duke- Class of 2013 by Mitski

Duke lost his family at a young age, he lost the security of having someone to take care of him. Then he had to lead a revolution again, as a child. “Mom, I’m tired, can I sleep in your house tonight?” Represents that to me, because I think after it all that’s what he would want, he would want his family after being as tired as he is. “And I’ll leave what I’m chasing for the other girls to pursue” is also fitting because people refuse to even acknowledge that Duke counts as a Robin. They don’t include him and I doubt that they have many plans to. They want him to leave behind signal and Robin for the rest of his siblings to pursue.

Damian- Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths

Damian has long since been a martyr for both the writers and fandom. He’s constantly used for the benifit of others while also being told he’s a brat or a demon or whatever else anyone would like to call him, he’s a child. He does know how Joan of Ark felt, he’s a child constantly being victimized by people who should be protecting him. The line “and I’ve got no right to take my place to the human race” also fits him in my opinon due to his struggle with finding a way to fit in, in not only Gotham but his own family.

Harper- the kids aren’t alright by Pinkshift

I think the song itself fits Harper’s general attitude towards a lot of things, plus it seems like something she would listen to. But the lines “is it the cramps or was my life always this bad? I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to the other side where sky’s are blue and I don’t have to pay to stay alive” specially were what made me pick it for Harper.

Kate- Topless by The Malefactors

I think this song fits Kate really well, a lot of it has to do with her sexuality and how I interpret the lyrics. Specifically “I think you’re pretty when you’re topless, you know the law can never stop us.” Or “you know I love it how we play friends.”Fits Kate because the law didn’t stop her, she got kicked out of West Point because she refused to hide who she was. Also “I think you love it when I’m upset, like I love your fucking pessimistic mindset” fits her relationship with Renee (Montoya) very well.

This took me forever to type so I hope it turned out ok and I explained everything well, if you disagree that’s fine, you’re allowed to, just don’t be rude about it

[starfacenix]

As an atheist, I started making altars and offerings and praying to hellenic God's,and it's the first time I've ever felt something in a religion. Idk, to me, whether I'm a believer or kot does mot matter because the whole process feels very intimate, warm, and personal. When j make offerings, I feel very happy, when I dedicate something I feel happy, ots something that I haven't felt with my born religion, I was never curious about it, and it always felt forced. Maybe it is because some of my ancestors were hellenic and a lot of them Pagan. As someone who comes from a very non-believing family and charachter, I often tell myself 'why am I doing this it dosent exist' yet I at the same time, I enjoy it, so I do.

But while I enjoy doing it, I want to know soke your advice for this. I don't know how to properly pray or get close to the God I'm praying to. When I pray and talk I feel empty because I don't know if they are listening, amd I'd like tk know their presence, I don't know the proper way to pray, nor how to ask for help if I need so. I came here to you because it seems you've cultivated your relationship with the Gods, and I'd like to know how I go about it the same way, I feel very far away.

I’ve found that different types of people need to go about praying in very different ways. For me, I always light a candle, have my prayer written, and then say it aloud. Or maybe it’s one of those informal prayers where I just light a candle and sit with my eyes closed. It all depends and the gods know your intentions and what works for you. If you want to go about it in a very traditional way that’s great, and if not that’s okay too.

I was very agnostic before I dipped my toes into Hellenism and I came into this practice and religion with so much skepticism it’s ridiculous. But like you, I found comfort in giving offerings and praying to my deities. It was nice to talk to them about the things bothering me in my day to day life. How I feel closer to a god very much depends on the god.

Try to pick an activity you enjoy that also reminds you of a deity you feel close to/devote yourself to. Think about them while doing it, see if that gives you a better feeling than emptiness. That’s the last thing you want to feel. It’s also not wrong to simply ask for a sign.

And a sign can be anything. But once you see it, you’ll know and have an “aha!” moment. I find that with a lot of people that they’ll think something is a sign and then say “oh but maybe it was just a coincidence?” But so what if it was? Lol. It gave you that jolt of recognition and immediately made you think of a certain god, no? I think that’s special too.

Tell them about this feeling of emptiness you have, talk about how it makes you feel and what you personally think is making you feel that way. They’re here to listen to you. Choose an offering, literally anything, light a candle if you want to, and just.. talk. No formality or anything like that if you don’t feel the need to be formal. Just talk.

I hope things work out and get better for you 💞 the gods are always listening.

[oliolioxenfreewrites]

i saw a mythology prompt earlier today to retell the story of icarus from the pov of the sun and i thought of how i would react if i were to experience that idiot as our sun soooo… without further ado:

Too Hot to Handle: The Sun’s Monologue

Shit, here goes another one… I swear, these mortals never learn.

I’m minding my own business, illuminating Earth like I always do—keeping my planets in orbit, growing the various crops, you know, basic life-sustaining stuff—when I notice this kid flapping his way toward me. Yes, toward me. I’m used to people admiring me from a distance (I mean, who wouldn’t?), but this one? Hell, he’s even got that look. That entitled ‘I’m special, the laws don’t apply to me look.’ Give me a break.

Icarus, they called him. What a name… I guess the junior and his dad, Daedalus (who’s at least smart enough to keep his own two feet on the ground as Zeus intended), thought they could outwit gravity with some, now, get a load of this: feathers and candle wax. You heard me—feathers. As if that wasn’t going to end in a spectacular disaster.

Now, before we dive any deeper into his whole little meltdown, let’s be very clear: I didn’t invite him here.

I’m simply doing my job, hanging out in space, radiating warmth, and oh you know, keeping everyone alive. And what does this moron decide to do with his life? He makes it his life’s mission to get up close and personal with me. I mean, I get it—I’m irresistible. But come on, we all know I’m a bit too hot to handle. Wink wink.

His dad warned him, of course… “Don’t fly too close to the sun," he said. Standard dad advice, right? But did Icarus listen? Ha! Of course not. He’s got wings now and arrogantly thinks he’s above it all—literally. Flapping higher and higher, all full of himself, or maybe the fumes from the poorly cured wax. I guess the rules of physics don’t apply when you’re having this much fun.

He's still here, getting closer and closer. And I can't help but wonder, 'Is this kid serious?' You could practically hear, not to mention smell, the wax starting to sizzle into his skin day after day, but nope. He kept coming, eyes wide, like he would make history or something?

Then came the inevitable—meltdown, both literal and figurative. His DIY wings start dripping wax all over the place. Feathers fall like tragic little snowflakes, and I can feel the panic hit him. That oh-no-I-screwed-up moment. I felt myself almost begin to feel bad for his naive hubris, but then I gleefully remembered this is my favorite part of arrogance. Failure.

You thought you could handle me? Please.

And down he goes, straight into the ocean, swallowed up like the wrong idea he came up with. Sploosh. Game over.

All that pointless ambition, that 'I’m-gonna-be-different attitude'—down the drain, along with the wasted feathers and dried wax. Now he’s just another legend (if you could even call him that) about why you shouldn’t fly too close to, well, me.

Now, I never ask for any of this. Do you think I wanted to fry some kid with a god complex? Nah. Enjoyable as mortal naïveté is, I’m simply here, doing what I’ve always done—burning bright, giving life, and occasionally serving a harsh reality check to anyone who thinks they can waltz into my territory without consequence.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just the sun.

I’ve only been doing this for a few billion years. Yet somehow, every so often, someone like Icarus decides that this time will be different. This time, they’ll beat the odds. And every time, without fail, they come crashing back down, wings melted, dreams shattered. You want to bask in my light? Be my guest. Enjoy the warmth; soak it in even, boo. But don’t ever get too cocky. Don’t think you can get too close without suffering consequences. Because trust me, I may shine, but I've never played favorites, and I will scorch your ass without so much as a second (or first) thought.

Icarus learned the hard way, poor thing. But me? Please… I’m still burning brighter than you and your fav, waiting for the next fool who thinks they can handle this scorching sunshine of mine. Spoiler: They can’t.

[kaisecayo]

31 Days of Hellenic Polytheism

Original post here

I’m going to answer days 3 to 10 here because omg I’m super late to this

DAY THREE

How long ago did you start Hellenic Polytheism?

I’ve known about it for about four years now, but I consider I seriously started like two years ago now.

DAY FOUR

Are there any deities you don’t currently worship but want to learn about?

I’m particularly interested in Hephaestus, maybe also Helios and Nyx.

DAY FIVE

How much have you bonded with your deities?

Well, this of course depends on each deity. I feel like I’ve bonded the most with Mother Hera, for she was the first one I ever had any type of contact with and she is such a maternal essence in my life. Now, for the same reasons and also because of Mother Hera’s influence, I’ve bonded a lot with Father Zeus. Hermes, too, who is just this vibrant, always-there presence in my life.

DAY SIX

What’s one way you incorporate Hellenic Polytheism into your routine (daily, weekly, monthly, etc?)

I have devoted jewelry for my main deities (mainly rings, but also earrings), and a notebook to write different things about (it can be about their epithets, their depictions or myths, acts of devotion, offerings, hymns I find or write, prayers, drawings��). I also try to devote at least a day of each week to each one of my main deities, so I can structure my practice properly and so I have less chances to forget about it.

This mainly involves wearing their devotional jewelry and listening to their devotional playlists, maybe sometimes even craft an outfit in their associated colors, or wear clothes I feel they enjoy. However, depending on the time and energy I have, this also includes praying to them, talking and bonding, doing some research, giving them their offerings/libations, and write something in their honor (or draw them, I love drawing my deities, even if it’s just messy doodles most of the time).

DAY SEVEN

Are you openly a Hellenic Polytheist offline? How does being open/not being open effect your worship?

With my close friends and partner I’m open about it, I’ve hinted it a lot to my mother, but I’m not broadly open about it (though I’ll tell you about it if the topic comes up or if I’m in the mood, I definitely hint at it everytime one of my deities is mentioned).

This generally means that I can have my devoted things at home, and that if I tell anyone something is for a deity, they’ll generally respect it and not touch it/mess with it, but it’s particularly hard in University, for I have to deal with comments about my deities (Father Zeus and Mother Hera, mostly), that are quite disrespectful, sometimes even coming from fellow helpols.

DAY EIGHT

Do you have altar(s)? If you do, how do you use it? If you don’t have one, do you want one? Why/why not?

I just have a shared altar for Mother Hera and Father Zeus, it’s simple and small, but I love it very much. Unfortunately, I don’t have the space for any more altars per se, but I do have candles for each of my main deities, and a space to place them whenever I light them on.

DAY NINE

Is there a practice that’s common among other Hellenic Polytheists that you’re skeptical about?

Not really, no, at least not yet. I’m open to learning about new things and other practices I may not be familiar with.

DAY TEN

What’s something you’ve learned about Hellenic Polytheism that you wish you knew sooner?

That it was a thing!!! Like, of course, I knew it had been a thing in the past, but little me who was obsessed with Greek gods and mythology and stuff would have really appreciated knowing that Hellenic Polytheism was still very much a thing, and that it was practiced, and that it was the solution for someone like me, who was not quite an atheist, but didn’t feel very connected to the religions I knew about. Once I discovered Helpol, everything suddenly made much more sense for me.

[dearme7]

What does depression do?How does it make you feel?What it does?

It comes sometimes without warning! ⚠️ You feel like a light on a candle just waiting for it to happen to you to come and just burn your light out, and you feel nothing but the pain when it struck you, and your like what just happened why do I feel so Terrible all of a sudden, and everything was just fine a few minutes ago. Your mind is shattered into peices and you feel like your scrabbling just to pick them all up, your body is psychically drained of no energy and you can't explain why you think I must have too much caffeine or the kids worn me out today, nope your wrong it's something else you can't put your finger on or wrap your head around it and things just fall from there things only get worse, everything you do seems like you can't take it no more it's unbarable now, even the smallest task isn't easy to do anymore and it's getting to you the toll of it, the depression makes me feel jumpy or exhausted it makes me isolate from everyone you know shut up and shut out and I don't like it, it's like it is taking a part of myself away trying to make me become quiet and just go into the dark and not come out of it and that can be a dangerous place to be honest because at this point your fighting to survive just to get through the day! Sometimes, my depression is a dull-witted sloth, batting at me with sloppy arms as I go about my business. Occasionally, my depression is a roaring monster, shredding me from the inside out, while I fight back with every ounce of my strength, at the same time still I try to smile and be there for the children and my husband and my friends church God ECT it's a never ending force of darkness that I'm trying to find the Light through, because I know each dawn when I face my demons no matter the prescriptions or therapy will never ultimately be sufficient, that I will always, fundamentally, fight this battle on my own.

What does Anxiety do?How does it make you feel? What it does?

You start to second guess every thought and your actions wondering if your doing things the right way and you begin to judge yourself and how you act and you use words to excuse yourself like I am tired, I don't want to go out today maybe next time, or maybe if they found someone better than me they'd be happier, or I can never be good enough for myself or to anyone, what am I still doing here? Your failure nothing you do or say can make a difference now or change who you are, you're a disappointment to everyone you can't do anything right anymore, nobody cares about you your so selfish why can't you just focus on your responsibilities and not your own well-being and forget all about what's going on, just sit down and shut up because nobody wants to hear you speak, ECT and then you just become less and less of yourself you forget who you are and you act like a Robot so that instead of living you just exist your just there to make everyone happy and over time you put on this mask and when you are completely alone you cry your eyes out, and your still screaming on the inside for someone to say I see you I actually see you, you don't have to hide it run from it fake it or be ashamed anymore I know exactly how you feel you just want somebody to listen somebody to care about you, your tired of feeling invisible your tired of the motions because believe me it's hard to even smile anymore it's hard to admit things are not okay when they aren't this is the ugly truth this is the real deal this is the open and honesty about mental health issues and illness nobody wants to talk about but I'm here I have it I'm going through it this is my secret this is my battle everyday this is who I am and if nobody can accept me if nobody wants that if nobody can handle it then that's okay I'll be there for those who don't have a voice I'll be there for those who feel alone I'll be there for those that didn't make it that suffered long enough because nobody opened their eyes and really saw you or me nobody really asked questions How are you really? Like be honest with yourself are you okay today?

To those who are fighting this everyday!

Love DearMe ❤️

[bunni-bino]

How The OP Boys Say “I Love You” To Their S/O

How You Know He Loves You- idk man

A/N : enjoy.

includes » Ace, Sabo, Luffy, law, Sanji, Zoro, Marco, Rosinante, Kid, Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri, Izo, Koby, Cavendish,

Summary : the boys’ own way of saying “I love you”, with their own words and ways. Or, how you know he loves you.

? Wait did I do this before? I don’t even know. also these aren’t GREAT, but they aren’t HORRIBLE. Yk? Honestly tho, some of these seem like they’re all over the place, which yes, they might be. UGH IT WAS SO HARD THO.

-

Monkey D. Luffy

Luffy loves you like an adventure. Everything is new and always fun to try with him, and no matter what happens, you don’t ever regret it, because you’re doing it with him.

He’s persistent in staying with you everywhere, he wants to do everything with you. He tends to invite you ( by pulling your hand ) to do crazy things with him and away from the others so you’re alone.

He’s always showing off his skills and stupidity in order to make you laugh, because your smile is the best thing he’s ever seen and giggles are the beautiful sound he treasures.

His actions are genuine when he holds your hand and pulls you to his side all the time, with the warmest, loving grin.

Luffy always makes sure to remind you to never give up hope.

“Let’s go on an adventure together, [Name].”

-

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro loves you like you’re his one and only. No one has priority over you, ( except maybe Luffy ), and you will always be his, if you’ll let him.

Zoro is not a man of many words when it comes to his own emotions and feelings, so he shows it through his actions.

He always has an eye on you, so wherever you are is where he ‘sleeps’ so he can keep you close, his swords at his side to protect you from danger, ( but he knows you can handle yourself. )

Zoro is the perfect person to lend a comforting shoulder and ear. He will listen to every single one of your problems intently and if he can, will offer the best advice you’ll hear, even if it’s a bit harshly. However, whatever got you so down, Zoro will bring you back up.

Zoro is always reminding you that you are strong, no matter how tough things get.

“Oi, come take a nap with me. I could use a body pillow.”

-

Portgas D. Ace

Ace loves you like a gentleman, respecting boundaries, bowing to the elderly you pass by together and always ready to pick you up for your date at seven, bouquet of flowers in hand.

If Ace is good at anything, it’s knowing how to distract you with a good time. He knows the best way to bring a beautiful smile to your lips and can easily make sure to avoid the thoughts that brought you down in the first place.

He’ll share stories that will make you die of laughter or feel so wholesome that you literally melt at how sweet it is.

The few times he expresses and shares his insecurities to you, something he hides within him because he trusts you enough to do so. He loves your understanding and comfort for him.

Ace always reminds you that you’ll be okay, even at the worst times.

“You are the light of my life.”

-

Chief of Staff Sabo

Sabo loves you like a prince. He holds the door for you, takes your hand so you don’t fall, has the most charismatic smile on his face and is just so charming.

Sabo will remember the littlest things, the smallest details that you yourself don’t even know until he reminds you, and because of this, you are often gifted the most memorable and cherishing gifts, like the scarf you two bought for your perfect snowman, to the necklace you were staring a little too longingly at on display.

He’s always busy, but he doesn’t hesitate to drop whatever he has just for you. He will run through fire if it means you’ll stop crying or if you’ll be happy to see him. You are his lifeline, his soul, his love.

He may not know how to properly cheer you up like his brothers can, but he knows that he wants the best for you. If you need space, you got it. You need some tender loving cuddles and buckets of ice cream while watching Disney movies? Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

Sabo reminds you that you deserve happiness and peace.

“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

-

Trafalgar D. Water Law

Law loves you like you’re his savior, someone who’s always there during his time of need and insecurities, by his side when he needs you most.

He’s a little blunt and straightforward occasionally, but he’s honest somewhat. He won’t ever tell you his feelings until he deems it the right time, but you can tell he has feelings by the change in treatment.

He’ll keep you closer to him, making excuses by saying that he needs you to help him with the supply run, or that he needs your assistance with a particular menial task.

He’s awkward and shy about it at first but he cares and that’s all you need to know. Especially once you catch him during one of his weaker times, the anniversary of a particular someone rolling around, where he’s locked in his room. He needs you beside him, so please don’t leave him when he needs you.

Law reminds you that you are human, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

“Just stay here with me.”

-

Vinsmoke Sanji

Sanji loves you like a god/goddess. He will treat you with the utmost respect and care and offers you everything you could possibly want or need, just say the word.

His genuine, endless daily compliments are given to you with pure love and passion, his daily refreshments and snacks to keep you energized and hydrated keeps an eye out for your health.

He makes sure you know the true meaning of flattery, chivalry and love, because that is all he can show you.

However, under that chivalrous exterior, is his calmer, understanding loving self, where he shows his true self and when he finally shares this side with you, where he holds his insecurities, it’s the true honor and love you can receive. And it’s even better, when you become the one who loves for him in return during this time.

Sanji reminds you that you deserve to be and are loved.

“You are my world, my everything.”

-

Marco The Phoenix

Marco loves you like a married couple who grew old together, still playing jokes and having fun to life’s fullest, no matter your age.

He’s constantly lecturing you for the smallest things repeatedly, since you always seem to forget. His lectures lack any annoyance or malice though, he’s just kind of done with you sometimes.

Nonetheless, he’s taking care of you more than you think, always the first one there whenever you need help. He’s always prepared for whatever you need so you don’t have to look for it and get worried.

He’s stern at times but he loves you more than you could ever know, often questioning himself whenever he’s beside you. He half-lidded eyes watching you with warmth and admiration because you always look so determined.

Marco always reminds you that you are free. To live life to its fullest and however you wish.

“Let me fly you to the moon.”

-

Donquixote Rosinante

Rosinante loves you like a husband, he treats you like his wife, either you or him welcoming each other home after being gone for so long and greeting each other with a loving kiss each time.

He knows just how tough things can be and as much as he tries to make things right, he knows how bad situations really are and no matter how much he wants to cry or get angry, he always holds a smile, in front of you. To assure you that things will be okay.

He gives the warmest hugs, and knows that, so whenever you’re angry or sad, or just randomly at times, Rosi envelops you into a large hug, waddling you back and forth a few times, you feel instant relief and content, which makes him smile.

His priority will always be you, even if he’s hundreds of thousands miles away, he will find his way back home to you. He surprises you with the littlest gifts; being flowers, jewelry, candles, or more.

Rosi will always remind you to smile, even during the hardest times.

“I will protect you.”

-

Eustass Kid

Kid loves you like a game, it’s unexpected, unpredictable of what will happen and it’s exciting and thrilling. For you both, one wrong move, and the other is gone for good, but perhaps, second chances/rematches are available.

He can be brash and a bit much, but Kid has high respect for anyone who actually makes it onto his crew and can actually tolerate him, you included.

He’s loud and wild but that only makes it part of the fun. With such a short fuse, as long as you play your cards right and pick your moments to bite back, it’s kind of fun knowing how dangerous it can be with a guy like Kid, and he also loves it equally, because your feistiness is attractive.

Being a bad bitch that doesn’t play by the rules is so incredibly attractive and Kid knows how to reward and punish so tread carefully. ;) however, he has his down moments and as annoying he can be, he does appreciate the effort you give if you try to comfort him. He’ll be harsh about it but eventually, he just wants you to be with him in the end.

Kid reminds you to rebel, take risks and enjoy the thrill of getting in dangerous situation every once in a while, breaking a few rules doesn’t hurt anybody. Most of the time.

“Don’t fucking ever leave me.. okay?”

-

Dracule Mihawk

Mihawk loves you like you’re an empress, only the finest and highest quality for you, nothing else can compare.

Mihawk will buy you the most expensive dress that suits you, with an equally expensive matching jewelry to go with. Not to mention the heels, and, tch, how could he forget the roses you require? Despicable.

As much as he loves to show you off, he despises the stares of awe and admiration you receive whenever you go out, so his possessiveness takes over and he has an arm around your waist at all times, successfully showing you’re taken and to back off if they don’t wish to be cut into oblivion.

He trains you to handle yourself, obviously, you should know at least some basic skills. He’s not too hard on you but does push you to keep going until you truly wish to stop. It’s only because he’s worried that one day, he won’t be there and won’t be able to protect you.

Mihawk reminds you that you are a queen/king, a strong person who shall hold your ground and never back down from fear and show your bravery.

“Come here, mi amor.”

-

Red Haired Shanks

Shanks loves you like you’re his future. It’s an unknown journey, but he’s there for the ride and whatever may happen, he’s there staying and won’t be going anywhere, unless it’s with you.

The red head is a goofball, he drinks, parties and messes around but he is an incredible captain and genuine to a fault. So when he expresses kindness, it is purely from his heart and not out of manners.

He is extremely playful and yet when down to business, he is calm, collected, and cool. He knows just what to say in tough situations and great comforting advice, so he’s the one to go to when you’re feeling down. And as laid back as he is, disrespect to those he loves is the one shit he won’t take.

He’ll hold you close and with his signature grin, compliment you and tell you how much he appreciates you and as soon as someone lays a finger on you, his hand is on the hilt of the sword and he waits three seconds for an explanation before he cuts them down. No one messes with his beloved.

Shanks reminds you of loyalty. To always protect and care for those close to you, and keep that built up trust and bond you created with them.

“Trust me. I won’t let go of you.”

-

Charlotte Katakuri

Katakuri loves you like you’re glass, he’s careful, protective, cautious and treats you like you’re fragile, because he’s afraid of hurting you.

He’s larger than most, he’s aware of that, so he always takes the precautions to be aware of his surroundings, especially when you are around. He wants you safe and he will be devastated if he is the cause of your pain.

His large stature is a blessing to you though, because cuddling is so comfortable and comforting, it’s amazing. You can curl up and relax and just be at ease with him, because he’s so protective of you, even from his family members. He often keeps you away from Cracker and Perospero, in the slightest chance that they try to take you away from him.

He’ll be extremely heartbroken if Big Mom doesn’t approve of you, but his love for you is stronger, so he’ll keep it a secret if he has to but eventually, he’ll pray and wish for her blessing, asking the help of his siblings to convince her.

Katakuri reminds you of family, that even friends or crewmates are family and love you all the same.

“I will be here for you.”

-

Captain Koby

Koby loves you like a typical high school crush. He’s all shy and blushy, and evidently embarrassed when the pretty one at school is talking to him, ( that’s you. ).

He’s like the wallflower type, who tries to blend in but somehow, he sticks out in a way that lures you to him, like he’s hit the jackpot.

He is incredibly sweet, and his shyness is so adorable. You can’t help but coo whenever you see his red cheeks and soft smile of care he offers.

Always helps you with everything, will take the blame whenever you get in trouble, takes the suffering and pain when guys try to mess with you, and no matter how tough things get, he’s holding a brave face for you.

Koby reminds you of kindness, treat everyone with care and kindness, and it goes a long way.

“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”

-

16th Division Commander Izo

Izo loves you like you’re a painting, he thinks you are true beauty, inside and out, you are a work of art, a true Mother Nature masterpiece born. One to be admired.

The type to be there. He’ll hold your hair while you vomit, rubbing soothing circles on your back while you cry, painting your nails while you complain about Ace, assure your perfection when you’re feeling insecure.

Best advice giver, holds no judgements at all. He’ll help with anything, because you need him. Romantic advice, friendship, sexual advice ;), he will help you any way he can.

He truly admires you, not because of your beauty, but your strength to be able to cry. Crying doesn’t mean weakness but rather, strength to be able to move forward even in the worst of times.

Izo reminds you that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone thinks or says.

“You are true beauty, my love.”

-

Cavendish Of The White Horse

Cavendish loves you like you’re a princess, and he is your handsome Prince Charming.

Every thing he does it like from a fairytale, if it involved a rather.. bit of a narcissistic Prince Charming. But he means well, because he still treats you like a real princess.

He gives you daily horseback rides, teaching you with his strong arms wrapped around yours and his black fancy hat on top of your head, as you two ride around and share laughs and memories.

And even through his big ego, he still makes sure to compliment you, tell you how proud he is of you and how much he truly admires you for your strong will and determination, because he really does love you. More than you know.

Cavendish reminds you that dreams can come true, sometimes it just takes a leap of faith and effort.

“I will treat you like the princess you are and deserve to be.”

-

A/N : 15 fucking people and having to think of different things while I’m distracted is so HARD. 😭 please tell me you enjoyed though ;-;

but did I do this already? God I can’t remember a thing, especially since I still haven’t updated my masterlists- and I’m terribly sorry if this really is all over the place ;-; also apologies if this is repetitive for some of them! It really is difficult yk ;-;

[innerunderrain]

Lure the Midnight Hour [Yan!Childe x Nun!Reader]

Warnings/Tags: Yandere themes, mentions of murder and violence, religious and philosophical concepts, description of blood, slight age gap between the characters (Reader is 17 and Childe is 16) there's no romantic feelings or implications involved.

Word count: 1.8k!

Enjoy!

-

"Bless me, Sister, for I have sinned. This will be my first confession, and hopefully my last."

As the young man spoke, you listened intently, your mind already pondering how to respond to whatever challenge he was encountering. Your heart opened to his word, constantly reminding yourself that one must not judge a sin of another, and can instead only listen and pray for them to beg for forgiveness. Due to the late hour of the night, the reconciliation room was somewhat cold, and the only source of warmth was from a candle that hung on the other side of the room, barely casting any light against you.

"I think I have killed a man today."

As your mind struggles to carefully digest his words, your blood starts to run cold at what he reveals.

Is he being sincere?

The majority of people typically confess to their lesser crimes or something they feel ashamed about during the two years that you have spent listening to confessions. The word "kill" has never before been spoken in your company.

"Like an actual human being, I can still hear his screams in the back of my mind. He was begging and begging, asking me to spare his life."

He sighs, as if irritated at his victim for pleading with him to spare his life. His lack of sympathy concerns you, because the average person would probably just spare the person's life and carry on, but this does not appear to be the case for him.

"Nonetheless, a promise is still a promise. We fight with the promise of exchanging lives for the victor."

A duel then? You don't know much about the regulations of two-on-two sparring, but you imagine that throwing your life on the line has been prohibited for fifty years, due to the amount of casualties that it has prompted before.

"He was the one who suggested it in the first place."

Although you couldn't see him, you could tell that the man was huffing slightly from the other side of the screen. His arms were mostly crossed, and his lips were twisted into a frown as he spoke.

Maybe it's not a sin after all?

Since the other man may have been the first to establish such a rule, and the young man in front of you may have been forced to participate in such a duel?

"But in the end, he was too weak."

But his following statements made you reconsider your opinion. For someone who was admitting guilt to murder within the monastery of God, his sentiments were surprisingly frigid. You would have inferred that this young man was still under twenty from the tone of his voice and speech habits. The way he spoke was rather lighthearted, similar to the tone a young child would constantly speak in.

"So I ended up killing him."

You faltered for a moment as you tried to find the proper phrases to use.

"Do you regret doing what you did?"

You questioned while gazing aimlessly into the statue that was hanging in front of you. However, all this actually accomplished was to attempt to soothe your anxieties in the hopes that God would help you communicate with this child.

"Though I ought to, I have no feeling. Just emptiness"

He gave a burly response, as if he had heard this inquiry a thousand times before. Even yet, you began to wonder if his previous exposure to the query may help to explain his generally impassive demeanour.

"I must, however, apologise to Sister. I am aware that hearing someone profess to killing someone is certainly upsetting."

"...No, it's alright. Everything within the church will be judged fairly in the eyes of God."

Despite the fact that anything confessed in a religious setting must be kept private between the confessor and the listener. His abrupt admission of using violence did not make you feel any better of having to keep such a tedious act under the rug. If it wasn't for the strict rule within the church, you would have left the moment he confessed to his crime.

"You know what? On second consideration, I believe I should leave. I feel a little guilty for impeding your pursuit for affirmations."

Normally, according to your instructions, you would have prevented the person from departing and encouraged them to a seat so they could take a moment to relax. Yet, you were unable to genuinely utter those words whilst praying for the sick man to leave this church, you felt a little terrible for wishing such a thing from God. You were aware that he may perform more tedious deeds if left alone with the outside world, but what could a simple nun like you possibly do?

"May I receive your blessings before I leave?"

You hesitated before reaching up to the screen with your palm outstretched in an effort to bless the young man.

"Grant this man the wisdom, understanding, and strength they need to follow in the footsteps of-."

Suddenly, his bloodied hand shoots through the screen and grabs hold of your wrist forcefully, leading you to shriek out in horror as his nails pierces through the layer of your skin.

"I..I need you to let go of me right now."

You spoke, attempting to keep your voice stable but failing due to your fear. You struggled against his hands in an attempt to loosen his abnormally tenuous grip, but your efforts were fruitless. Perhaps he was some sort of warrior? That would explain his abnormal strength.

"Sister, but before I do that. May I ask you a question?"

Despite the misery he was subjecting you to, the man speaking on the opposite side of the screen had a fairly cheerful tone to his voice. However, you must admit that it is to be anticipated given that he just publicly admitted to murder in a church, a place of worship where God prevails. You wondered if this man was even a believer of God, or if he was simply an atheist, seeking to play some cruel prank upon you.

"....Yes, go on."

You responded, pleading with your benevolent God to deliver you from this immense suffering. With your other hand firmly clenching your rosemary, you whispered a few brief prayers in the hope that the person on the other end of the line wouldn't hear you.

"Do you truly believe murder is a sin?"

What kind of a question is that? Given that everything is within God's authority, any action that results in the taking of another person's life is obviously sinful. Once you've committed such a terrible sin, perhaps not even pleading for forgiveness will be enough to redeem you.

"It is."

For a brief moment, there was silence in the room, which made you feel uneasy than you already were. As you waited for his response, you could feel sweat starting to accumulate on the center of your forehead, despite the cold temperature within the dimly-lit room.

"But doesn't God always claim the lives of those around him? He would end the suffering of everyone if he were sincere in his desire to preserve his people.*

Normally, you would have reprimanded someone for uttering such a vulgar question, believing that they were ridiculing God..However, you could tell that the man sitting in front of you was being genuine since his tone lacked any trace of sarcasm, only an interest in nature.

"That is true."

As you spoke, you closed your eyes and sought to swallow your dread in order to think of a response that would soothe his concerns and encourage him to leave the church.

"However, we must remember that we are merely mortals and not some sort of transcendent being. We are only grains of dust in the universe, regardless of whether God exists or not."

He thoughtfully listens to what you suggest, never once opening his mouth to speak in response. His hold on your arms begins to loosen up a little. You even ponder whether he was actually paying attention to what you said, seeping every word into his heart.

"We must therefore lead morally upright lives, even without a God."

You finish your speech, fluttering your eyes open once again, drawing in a deep breath. The man on the other line hummed carefully, as if he was gradually allowing your words to sleep into his kind.

Finally he spoke.

"I see, Sister. Thank you so much for your philosophical guidance. I will keep that in mind."

His hands drew back to the other side of the panel as the hold he had on your arm entirely released. You grimaced as you raised your arms to your face and noticed that some of the warm blood that was oozing down your forearm had already dried up.

Despite having seen blood before, you have never enjoyed having to directly touch blood because it always made you feel soiled. As the sound of the chair grinding against the floorboards finally travels through your ears, a wave of relief floods through you.

He's leaving.

"Thank you for having taken the time to listen to my confession."

A mess of orange curls could just about be seen through the darkness as he stood up in the dimly lit room. Have you recently seen those curls somewhere else? Orange hair wasn't prevalent in the area, although his hair could potentially be blonde and just appear orange due to the lighting of the room.

That isn't plausible, though. Perhaps what transpired has left you feeling a little jittery.

"Ah before I leave," the young man paused and peered through the booth separating the two of you. You were relieved that the room was rather dark and that you had opted to wear a white veil while attending to the confession, maybe you should wear a veil everyday. His blue eyes stood out against the shadows; they were soulless eyes that mirrored a demon's existence in many dimensions

Perhaps he was a demon in disguise, lurking to take and savour every inch of your soul.

The mere thought induces a frigid shudder to travel down your spine, that's just absurd to think about.

"I'll be sure to return again, since I had a very fun time conversing with you. Be sure to be here on every Thursday, strictly at 10 pm."

You cowered in despair as you struggled to remove the blood off your forearm after he left the reconciliation room.

Why did he have to stain you like this?

As you scrub your skin with an emergency towel that is hidden beneath the desk, tears are on the verge of streaming down your face as you murmured a few words of blessings, trying to reaffirm your mental state.

No, perhaps you were correct. He could have genuinely been a ferocious devil masquerading as a person.

That would merely account for his lack of humanity.

[kayxleeee]

Tony Stark: Are We Fighting?(Tony x Reader)

Tony Stark: Are We Fighting?(Tony x Reader)

Warning: Sexual implying if you squint.  Tony being cute and you being mad at him for a second.

A/N: Y’all this is my favorite, I love Tony fluff.

Summary: Tony’s in deep water after you notice the “head of security” watching your every move for an entire week straight. The only problem is, it’s date night, and can you really stay mad at someone with that face? 

Word Count: 2k+

*NOT MY GIF* Don’t copy my work !

The aroma of tomato sauce and Italian herbs wafted the air around you immediately as you swung the large front door open, walking in. Tonight was date night, you were starving, but you had a serious bone to pick with the conniving genius. You kick your heels off and make your way through the foyer greeted by dimmed lights, a candle lit living room, soft romantic music playing, and an excessive amount of rose peddles leading up the grand staircase.

Nice touch Stark.

You look at it all in awe, but try to snap out of it, because you meant business tonight.

“Tony?!” You call out wondering where he was.

“In here.” He says peaking his head through the kitchen entry way, wiping his hands dry on a dish towel. “You look ravishing.” He says as he makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist giving you a quick hug and kiss on your forehead. “This isn’t too much is it?”

This was probably the best one yet. You were delighted at his efforts to make date nights memorable, especially since you hardly saw him. He had either been busy being an avenger or down in his lab working his life away. You were also very busy yourself running Stark Industries. Between the meetings and work related calls, it was a very rare occasion when you and Tony could just enjoy each others company. So this was when weekly date nights were born; Just a time to catch up and be together and have unadulterated quality time. You sigh taking it all in. Tony always does them well, especially when he is trying to make up for something. The dimmed lights, roses, music, candles, even his cologne— god, did his cologne smell good, intoxicating even. You could swoon right then and there the atmosphere was the definition of romantic and relaxing and here you are ready to uproar it all.

Damn, right.

“Told you date night would be extraordinary tonight.” He smirks taking your silence as a sign that you were pleased, while wiggling his eyebrows up and down. “Be back in a sec, get comfy.” He says giving you a wink before turning away.

He makes his way back into the kitchen to finish up whatever he had been doing previous and you follow him. He turns around and gives you a weird look, scrunching his face as he sees you following behind him. Those dazzling brown eyes weren’t going to get you this time, you were still mad— Maybe not as mad as you were before coming through that front door, but still upset enough to confront the issue right now.

“So something interesting happened to me today.” You say setting your purse on the kitchen counter as Tony strategically plates the pasta he made.

“Oh yeah?” He says maneuvering through the kitchen. “And what might that be kitten?” After he’s done, he turns to you popping an olive into his mouth, as he leans against the counter behind, ready listen attentively.

“Well I was ya know working my little ass off, minding my business… Ya know as I do every single day. When I noticed a very attentive Happy Hogan, watching my every move.” You say eyeing him suspiciously as he smiled innocently. “I thought to myself, now I’ve been seeing Happy in all sorts of wacky places this week, why would he do something like that?”

“I donno, why babe?” He says dusting his hands together for no particular reason looking everywhere else, but your face.

“Mmmh- maybe he’s just being his old paranoid, overbearing self this week. Watching my every move for no apparent reason.” You say testily, you already know Stark put him up to it. 

“Happy is very dedicated to his new position. Didn’t you hear? He’s head of security, babe. He’s gotta be eyes and ears.” He sighs, now moving from his leaning position to begin pouring two glasses of bubbly. “That’s our Happy for ya."

Of course you heard, and of course Tony was the one who appointed him, and of course Stark Industries did not need that.

“Oh jeez golly! Eyes and ears on little ol me?” You say in a fake sarcastic souther bell accent. 

He raises his eyebrows, and gives you a well justified laugh, because that accent was horrendous.

“Did you send happy to spy on me or what Tony?” You say getting to the point.

“No.” He says shaking his head from side to side frantically like a child who’s just got caught stealing from the cookie jar. “Nope, I don’t recall.”

“You don’t recall?” You scoff. “It’s a very simple thing to remember doing Tony. Did you say oh Happy please spy on my faithful, loyal, beautiful, loving, girlfriend?”

“Um— are we fighting?” We're not fighting are we?” He sighs genuinely unsure.

You didn’t want to fight or argue either, but he was getting on your nerves beating around the bush. You already knew he did it, you just needed to know why.

“Sure, we aren’t fighting Tony.” You say annoyance booming through, hoping he would just come out with it. He was definitely pushing your buttons. “Now did you send him?” 

“ I don’t recall.” He says again now putting on a fake ‘thinking’ face.

“You don’t recall asking him?! Okay, well I am sure if we give him a call that might jog your little memory.” You grab your phone out of your purse quickly dialing his number. “Mmmh I think you’ve been hit on the head entirely way too many times, ya know since you can’t recall events.”

Before you can press the dial button to call Happy, Tony swiftly reaches over the counter where you are standing and snatches the phone from your grip, ending the call before it’s made. 

“Okay, listen baby, I think we’re fighting, and I don’t want to fight tonight.” He says with pleading eyes putting his hands up in defense.

“Tony!” You yell at him going to where he is standing in the spacious kitchen. “You're not answering my question and you should have thought about that before asking Happy to spy on me!” Which I’m not understanding what for! Just say you don’t trust me and leave it at that, why play all these games?!”

His face flattened.

“Okay, kitten, listen it wasn’t like that. I do too trust you.”

So he did put Happy up to it— of course he did.

“You better explain or I’m Leaving Tony.”

He sighs heavily, shame settling on his features. 

“Happy brought up this guy? Aldrich Killian, said you dated him a while back?" “Oh my go- you don’t trust me!” You exhaust throwing your hands up and turning on the heels of your feet ready to retreat out of the kitchen.

“No!” Tony quickly follows behind you. Come on babe, let’s talk about this!” He says grabbing you by your shoulder gently spinning you around.

“Tony you’re doing a lot of the talking, and only digging yourself in a deeper hole.” You say crossing your arms. 

“Okay, let’s back track, I trust you, with everything I own, my life even. I’ve just been overwhelmed and overthinking recently. I can’t say what I did was right, but in the moment I didn’t feel it was exactly wrong either.”

“In the moment Tony really? What moment did you realize I needed to be spied on like some convict? What moment did you realize you didn’t trust me alone at work with some guy, I hardly ever dated by the way!”

“Okay, okay! I did not send him to spy on you, I sent him to keep an eye on you.”

“Same shit Sherlock and I don’t appreciate it ! You say you trust me but tis is definitely not how it’s coming off.” You huff in annoyance, trying to grab your phone from him again, in which he manages to keep it away from you snacking his free arm around you. “Give it back now, I’m leaving Tony!”

“Would you stop getting mad?!” He huffs. “Just- it’s not a trust thing baby. It’s a safety thing.”

“I wouldn’t be getting mad if you’d just tell me the truth and stop beating around the damn bush. I’m over it anyways, I’m going to be leaving now, so give me my phone and let me go.” He rolls his eyes and pulls you into him closer. “No you’re not leaving , stop being dramatic.” He says holding onto you tight, still holding the phone away from your grasp with his other hand. You scrunch up your face about to say something,  about his remark, but he quickly says. “And don’t be mad that I think you’re being dramatic about this.” He says to ensure he digs himself out of being in trouble over that stupid comment.

He continues, “You already know I trust you so don’t give me that. I did all of this because I love you.” He says holding you close and swaying the two of you slightly to the music that is still playing softly in the background.

“Not the because I love you speech.” You say rolling your eyes, hands resting on his chest trying to create distance between the two of you, but he just pulls you back into him. “You are so annoying.” You comment on the action, surrendering to his grasp.

“No it’s not like that, I just needed to make sure you were safe. No malicious thought behind it or intent, I swear. I just wanted to make name you are safe at all times.” He says softly with a sigh as he feels that you’ve calmed down.

“Why wouldn’t I be safe at work?” You say looking up at him. He now sets your phone down on the near by counter and places the hand to your face, caressing your cheek.

“Anyone can be in danger anywhere honey, I’ve learned that the hard way— and if I were to loose you? Well let’s just say for my sake and peace of mind, I might of let fear cloud my judgment and asked Happy to keep an eye on you. No spying, just an eye. You know how he gets.” He looks deeply into your eyes and you could tell he was telling the truth. “I’m sorry, okay?” He leans into you just enough to rub his nose against yours playfully. “Do you accept my apology?” He says in a child like voice, giving you puppy dogs eyes.

He was so cute.

“Okay fine, I’m hearing you.” You say caving in. “But you’ve gotta stop him from following my every move— if I’m going to the bathroom, I don’t need him right out the door.” You huff.

“Done, you got it, Happy is officially barred off of bathroom duties. Can we kiss and make up now?” He says this as his lips ghost over yours and you happily lean into the kiss, knowing full well it was long overdue after how hard he worked to impress you tonight. This kiss was sweet and sincere, while also deep and romantic. 

“I love you.” He says after breaking the kiss.

“You're a pain, but I love you too.” You both laugh before you give him another kiss. 

“Now are we still fighting?” He smirks after pulling away a second time. “Just wanna double check before I invest.”

“You're so annoying.” You laugh rolling your eyes playfully. “No we aren’t.”

“Good because our spaghetti is getting cold and our chardonnay is getting flat.” He says intertwining your fingers and spinning you around to walk into the living room. “And you look entirely too good to keep this on all night.” He says referring to your outfit. “I can’t believe you were going to call Happy.”

“Well how about next time, you don’t play with me.” You laugh ready to enjoy your dinner.

“Oh, but honey, playing with you is my favorite thing to do. I especially love it when you scream my name.” He smirks giving you a wink.

Comments, Questions, Opinions :)

See more of what I have written so far: Masterlist

[yetdevout]

okay so i listened to the inversion in its entirety and i have a few thoughts

even tho it is not canon (except cutie in this case) i refuse to believe that out of the 1500+ people that died, none of our other empowered characters suffered from a loss as well. like xavier definitely was not the only person who the DAMN squad knew who died. maybe lovely was friends with someone who died. maybe sweetheart lost a distant family member who died idk. i like associating pain and suffering with anyone and everyone in the redactedverse

another headcanon. every year DAMN hosts the anniversary of the inversion to commemorate all those who died and were affected by the inversion. i can just imagine the shaw pack, solaire clan, DAMN squad and our other empowered characters to be there and pay their respects whether they lost someone or not. i imagine a bunch of tables set up in the middle of the stadium for people to bring candles and light them in honour of the dead. for example huxley bringing a candle with xaviers name on or sweetheart bringing a scented candle for their distant aunt or something. (now im imagining the DAMN squad grieving and damien lighting the candle with his fire elemental powers and comforting huxley °~° )

idk why but i feel like freelancer would work for the department after full certification. they seem like the type to do so and would do everything they can to change the system for the better. (i just want them to be friends with sweetheart okay? they are both baddies) same with damien but based on what he's trying to do rn while he's still studying at DAMN with that human-born-magic-user campaign thing i think he would work for DAMN but not as a professor like lasko

last point. i was pondering over milos words about magic being not only in his core but in his entire being because hes a shifter right? do you think sweetheart could have helped milo to bring the ward down?? shifting and cloaking and phasing are very different types of magic but for all of these, the magic can spread throughout the entire body for it to work therefore meaning that for stealths, the same rule applies?? that magic exists not only in their core but in their entire body?? i could be looking too far into it but i just want to know your opinion :))

also jett and kody can disrespectfully throw themselves into a trash can for being an ass to my favourite wolfboi and elementals

that is all. thank you <3

-🎶

"i like associating pain and suffering with anyone and everyone in the redactedverse" this is so funny it's going in the yetdevout hall of fame

i also believe it doesn't seem likely that the redacted characters didn't face more losses aside from xaiver. like a professor, a classmate someone saw every day, a cousin — like something to really drive it in yk? hell it could've been someone angel babe sunshine or starlight knew. so many ppl go to DAMN, who knows??

god the candles, i can visualize that SO clearly and it's so painful 😭 there's something to say about damien lighting the candles using his fire magic, the solemn control that he yearned to have during the inversion. he wishes for so much. though, standing around the people he loves the most, he knows for a certain that these flames won't burn out.

yeah i could imagine freelancer going for full certification as well! them and damien radiate "be the change you want to see in the world" so they would try to go above and beyond. i believe damien is trying to land a job on DAMN administration bc he wants to change so much about how the school operates. go him!

yknow what, that does make sense! both of their magic relies on the physical body, so the spread of magic through their body and out into the ward would be plausible. also, sweetheart just doesn't seem like the type of person to let milo do such a life threatening thing on his own. like it would take a 1000 man army and then some for sweetheart to have milo walk through the ring of fire alone. so yeah, i do see them using both of their magic to help bring the ward down! their core probably didn't burn out like milo's did bc of how undetectable stealth magic/auras are as compared to shifter magic. like milo says when they bridged, it's a lot and can be overwhelming.

[tyongxnct]

𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡 - 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑔

pairing: Taeyong x reader 

special guest: Jaehyun, Jungwoo, mention of Mark, Johnny & Yuta

summary: your relationship with Taeyong was falling apart and you knew that you had to let him go, but you loved him so much, so you chose to be selfish. You tried to ignore the fact that he was cheating on you, that he spend nights with someone else next to him in bed and that his lips tasted like her lipstick whenever you kissed him. Taeyong is perfect and he deserved someone perfect, that’s why you decided to change yourself for him, to make him stay and love you again, but no matter what, in the end you weren’t her.

song: perfect - Selena Gomez

genre: cheating!au, idol!au, angst

warnings: cheating, mentions of sex, self-doubt, 2 mini smut scenes they’re really short

word count: 4,1k

A/N: Here it is, the first short story! I hope you enjoy reading this. I really recommend you to listen to perfect by Selena Gomez while reading!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Different inflection when you say my name Kiss me, but your kiss don't taste the same Is it real or am I going out of my mind? Curious 'bout the company that you keep Cause I hear you talking 'bout her in your sleep And now you've got me talking 'bout her in mine

“Y/n,” Taeyong said your name as soon as you pressed the green button, “I’m out with friends tonight, you don’t have to wait for me.” You could hear a female voice in the background, but maybe it was just your imagination playing with you. You were curious, about who exactly Taeyong was with, so you closed your eyes and asked him. “Okay, w-who are you with?” you asked softly, scared of the answer.

“Oh, just with the boys, Jaehyun says hi.” You wished he’d say Johnny or Yuta, or just anyone else except for Jaehyun because you’re friends with Jaehyun’s girlfriend. When you talked to her earlier that day, she told you that she was going to the movies with Jaehyun, it was their date night.

“T-Tell him I also said hi.” Your voice was about to break, tears almost streaming down your face, but you held them in, you didn’t want him to hear you cry.

“Yeah - oh my god I was just about to say that-“ Taeyong was distracted and didn’t even hear what you just said. You heard the female voice talking before he hung up without saying goodbye.

You felt like you were losing your mind.

You weren’t sure If you misheard Jaehyun’s girlfriend, but when you checked your social media and saw her story with Jaehyun, hand in hand, you knew that Taeyong lied to you.

03:27am, You couldn’t sleep the whole night, you were still awake when Taeyong came home. “Why are you still awake?” he asked you as he took off his clothes to change to his pajamas. “Couldn’t sleep without you.” Which was true. He didn’t say anything, he hovered above you, pressed his lips for a second on yours and then he entered the bathroom to brush his teeth. Your hand was on your lips, the taste on his lips was different, the cherry taste on his lips left a bitter taste on your lips. His lips tasted unfamiliar.

Taeyong fell asleep, you were facing his back as you also tried to fall asleep. You wanted to know why his lips tasted like cherry, why he lied to you and why he didn’t love you anymore, because you could feel that you were drifting apart which scared you so much. Taeyong mumbled something while he was fast asleep, you could understand him better as he turned around to face you. “Miyeon.”

Miyeon?

Were you with Miyeon tonight? Who is Miyeon? How did you meet her? Do you love her?

Oh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love like you, like you

Taeyong is the most beautiful human being you’ve ever seen, and you didn’t even know why he was dating you. His face was perfect, every inch of his face was pure beauty. His mouth was slightly open, he softly breathed in and out. Your eyes landed on his lips. Did she kiss you with her cherry lips? Is she as beautiful as you are? She has to be, Taeyong deserved the most beautiful girl on this planet, but here he was, stuck with you. Did he fall in love with her just like you fell in love with him? Is she also an Idol just like Taeyong? She must be. You never shared many interests with Taeyong, you always thought ‘opposites attract each other’, but what If he fell in love with an Idol who did the same thing for a living as him? Who was also talented, with a perfect face and body? They’d share the same passion, dancing and singing whereas you couldn’t even remember the simplest steps.

Taeyong was probably attracted to someone who shared the same interests and passion, who was beautiful inside and outside just like him.

I can taste her lipstick And see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance Every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And, she's perfect And, she's perfect

The first time you saw them together was when you decided to visit Taeyong at the studio. You wanted to surprise him or maybe, just maybe, you wanted to see the woman he fell in love with. The woman with the cherry lips.

And you did. You saw them, Taeyong was laying on the couch with her on top of him and her head was on his chest, she was listening to his heartbeat, like you did so many times. You could see Taeyong placing his hands on her jaw and pulling her closer to press his lips on hers. You were secretly watching your boyfriend of 4 years making out with another woman. It was so quiet, you could hear your heart breaking.

You rushed to a restroom, tears streaming down your face, you didn’t notice that you were holding your breath, the walls around you suffocated you and you just wanted to vanish.

When you calmed down, you called Taeyong to tell him that you were on your way.

“I’m busy in the studio-“ he lied.

“I know, I mean, that’s why I’m bringing you some food. I cooked your favorites.” You smiled trough the pain.

“Fine, but you can’t stay, I have to, uhm, finish that one track I was working on.” Taeyong looked to Miyeon who was listening to your conversation.

“Okay, I’ll be there in two minutes. Love you.” Is he going to say it back?

“Yeah, bye.” He didn’t say it back.

After wiping away your tears, you put on your fake smile and entered Taeyong’s studio. Taeyong was sitting on the chair and was working on his laptop and Miyeon was still in the room, sitting on the couch. She looked as beautiful as you thought she would. Long blonde hair, skinny and a perfect face.

“Hey.” you acted.

“Hi, Miyeon this is Y/n. Y/n this is Miyeon. We’re working together on the new track.” Is that how he met her? Is that how he fell for her?

“Hey Miyeon, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that Taeyong had company, I didn’t bring enough food.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m on a diet anyway.” She checked you out, you didn’t miss her eyes going up and down you body.

You felt bad, really bad. You were in a pair of jeans and one of Taeyong’s hoodies and here she was, in a short skirt, her long legs looked tempting for Taeyong, he always asked you to wear shorts at home, but you felt uncomfortable with your legs and sticked to your sweatpants.

You wanted to know If Taeyong would kiss you next to her, so you leaned forward and pressed you lips on his. The cherry taste was back, and he didn’t move his lips. So he liked the taste of cherries, that’s how Miyeon tasted. Your kiss ended up as a peck and every passing second got painfuller. “I’ll leave you two now, don’t overwork yourself- I’ll see you at home.” You smiled at them, Taeyong couldn’t even look up, he felt bad for you.

How does she touch you? Can I try it, too? I know you're twisted, but baby, I'm twisted, too I wanna know if she can make a man lose his mind

You looked at yourself in the mirror.

You were pathetic, you knew that you were, but still, you tried to be like her.

You dyed your hair blonde, not exactly the same blonde as hers, but it was still a huge difference to your hair before.

After straightening your hair, you put on some make-up and your new red lingerie you had bought.

You felt uncomfortable, the lingerie covered almost nothing, and you felt cheap.

Were you really going to try to impress Taeyong with sex?

Did he even think that you’re sexy?

He was probably just going to laugh at you.

When Taeyong came home, he didn’t see you anywhere but when he entered your shared bedroom and saw you laying almost naked on the bed, only candles lighting up the room, his mouth opened wide. “Y-You’re blonde.” he stuttered, and you could see that he tried to stop himself from laughing. “I felt like I needed a change. Do you like it?”

“It looks so bad.” He busted out in laughter. “Did you dye it yourself? Oh god, it looks terrible.” Taeyong kept on laughing. You were half naked in front of him and he choose to mock you? You didn’t dye your hair yourself, you paid so much money to get it like this. “I can change it If you don’t like it.” You walked up to him. He didn’t move. “Yeah, change it back. Go to a professional.” He said as he watched you. You helped him taking off his jacket, his eyes following every move you make. Your hands were slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “I will, but first, let me make you feel good.” You whispered as you pressed little kisses on his chest.

You softly pushed Taeyong down on the bed. Your hands were unbuckling his belt, you could feel him getting nervous, it’s been so long since you had sex.

While you were pushing his pants down, your mind travelled to her. Did she touch you like this? Did you touch her? Have you had sex already? Was she good? Better?

You pushed down his boxer briefs and wrapped your fingers around his cock. You started pumping his shaft and you softly licked his tip. Taeyong was stiff under your touch, even when you put his cock in your mouth. You started sucking and pumping his cock and a moan left his mouth.

“F-Fuck. N-No stop-“ he pushed you away. You landed on your butt and breathed heavily. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry it’s been so long that I-“

“No, no. I just- it’s… The boys are waiting, and we can’t- can’t have sex right now I’m gonna be late.” He pulled his boxers and pants up and nervously buttoned his shirt back up and he left without saying anything else.

He doesn’t love you anymore. He is disgusted, he doesn’t even want you to touch him. You felt so worthless and disgusting.

You entered your bathroom to shower, you wanted to rub everything off of you. When you looked at yourself again at the mirror, you felt uglier than before. You took your phone which was on the counter and threw it. The mirror shattered to pieces and you felt like you just watched an illustration of your life.

Just like the mirror, your heart broke into many pieces.

With the smell of her perfume I could love her, too, like you, like you And I can almost hear her laugh Curving on her back for you, for you

While you were crying yourself to sleep, Taeyong hurried to Miyeon’s apartment. “Taeyong? I thought you-“ he pulled her in for a kiss before she could finish her sentence. He pressed her against the door and his hands were all over her body. She responded happily, pulling him closer and moaning into his mouth. His tongue was exploring her mouth for the nth time, and he fucked her so hard that night, until you left his mind. Until he stopped thinking that it was you, until he moaned Miyeon’s name and came inside of her. The red marks on his neck and scratches on his back to remind him that he just wanted to fuck Miyeon and not you.

“Well, that was amazing.” Miyeon said exhausted as she poured herself more wine. “We never fucked like that, we should do it more often.” She laughed. “Poor Y/n. If she only knew how good you fuck me.” Miyeon giggled and pressed kisses on Taeyong’s bare shoulder.

He ignored her sneaky remark and closed his eyes. He saw your face whenever he closed his eyes, he wanted to get you off of his mind, and then he fucked Miyeon again, until his mind was full of Miyeon naked under him.

Taeyong came back home late that night again, he breathed in and out, his heart was beating against his chest, it almost hurt.

He thought that you were sleeping already, but you were wide awake, thinking about the events of the night and feeling ashamed.

You could feel the bed sink down next to you. This time, Taeyong was facing your back. He smelled different, Taeyong smelled like all the times he smelled after he had spent time with her.

I can taste her lipstick And see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance Every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And, she's perfect

You didn’t change your hair back. After hanging out with Jaehyun and his girlfriend, you felt a little more confident with it. Even Jaehyun had told you that you looked really pretty.

You didn’t even need to tell Taeyong that you were hanging out with Jaehyun and his girlfriend, Taeyong was also not at home.

You needed to spend some time with friends, you were drowning in your insecurities and in self-doubt, that you had to be with someone. Spending time with your friends helped you stop thinking.

“Oh, wait Taeyong is calling-“ you told them. “Yes?” you said, “Hey, uhm, I’m out with Jaehyun tonight, you know, boy’s night and stuff.”

Jaehyun was sitting right in front of you. “Oh okay, tell Jaehyun I said hi.” Jaehyun and his girlfriend looked at you confused. “Yeah, I will.” And  you ended the call.

“But I’m sitting here with you?” Jaehyun said confused. “I know. He’s lying to me.” You looked at them with a sad smile. “Why would he lie to you?” she asked you. “He doesn’t want me to know about his affair.” You said casually. “W-What? Taeyong? Our Taeyong?” Jaehyun couldn’t believe what you just said. You nodded.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked.

You nodded again, scared that you’d break out in tears.

“Do you know who-“

“Miyeon, they’re working on a track together, I don’t know If that is true though.”

“But that’s impossible! I was with them a couple weeks ago, they were just talking about the track and they were so distant, and I-I just can’t believe that-“

“Jaehyun calm down, you’re not helping her.” His girlfriend said. “It’s okay.” You whispered. “I’m sorry that you had to find out about it.”

“What no! Why are you… Why are you still with him?” she asked you. “Because I love him. It’s okay, I understand that he needs to satisfy his needs… with someone else.” They looked at you with shocked expressions. That night, you talked to them about everything, you even told her about the night you wore the lingerie when Jaehyun excused himself to go to the bathroom. Her eyes widened in shock as she heard about the way Taeyong treated you. “I hate him so much right now.” She said. “No don’t hate him. Even I don’t hate him, so you guys should forget about what I told you and act like this never happened.”

They looked at you with sad eyes, “Are you still coming to the company dinner with him?” Jaehyun asked. “If he wants me there.” You shrugged your shoulders.

I can see her body rushing into you Crashing on your skin, burning within Burning so deep, deep on your skin, skin Next to me She's crashing on your skin, settling in Burning so deep, deep on your skin, skin While you sleeping

You looked breathtaking, but you didn’t know that. The dress you were wearing, hugged your body perfectly but you didn’t dare to look at the mirror, scared that you’d need to change again. Scared that you’d find another failure, no matter If it’s on your face or on your dress.

Taeyong looked perfect as always, his tuxedo was made for him and his hair was styled up, exposing his pretty forehead. “You look really handsome.” You told him as you entered his car. He muttered a thanks and focused on the street.

Taeyong’s colleagues and his group members didn’t know about Taeyong’s affair, so he had to take you with him since everyone thought that you were happily dating.

When you arrived, he didn’t even open the door for you. “Hurry up, it’s cold.” He said as he walked to the entrance with you trailing form behind.

It was a great atmosphere, everyone was laughing or sipping on their champagne. It felt like the first time Taeyong introduced you to his members, the first time he took you to such an event, but of course, your happy memories were destroyed by Miyeon who glanced at you and Taeyong.

You were chatting with Jungwoo, when you noticed Taeyong looking back at her with a small smirk.

“I’m going to the restroom.” He excused himself and you just nodded, knowing exactly where he was going. When he was gone, you saw Miyeon following him. You told Jungwoo that you had to talk to Jaehyun for whatever reason and went after them.

“I missed you.” You heard her voice. “I missed you too.” And then their bodies and lips crashed. They were so bad at hiding, anyone could see them making out If they just went to the restroom. “You’re so hot tonight, yongie.” She called him yongie. You called him yongie. “I need you inside me now.” She said loud enough for you to hear. “Patience, you need to keep your hands to yourself. She’s here.”

“I don’t care about her-“

Jaehyun accidently bumped into you. “Oh sorr-“

You hushed him, he looked to the direction you were looking at. He was about to move but you stopped him. His eyes were full of anger. “Please don’t.” you asked him.  “Let’s go back.” The image of Taeyong kissing her was burned in your mind and now in Jaehyun’s too.

Taeyong came back and took his place next to you. Jaehyun was angrily playing with his food in front of him, as someone who was also cheated on by his ex-girlfriend, he felt so much empathy for you and you were his friend after all, he cared for you. “Jaehyun, you good?” Taeyong asked him. “Mhm…” Jaehyun mumbled. “You sure? You look like you saw a ghost.” Taeyong joked. “Not a ghost, no. I’m fine.” He whispered the first part, but Taeyong still heard it. He just couldn’t figure out what Jaehyun was talking about.

After a couple hours of fake smiling and acting like you were in a happy relationship, Jaehyun’s girlfriend asked you to stay with her for the night, she was worried and didn’t want you to feel alone.

“Yongie, I’m having a sleepover with Jaehyun’s girlfriend tonight.” Taeyong’s eyes light up. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?” you nodded.

You left the party with Jaehyun’s girlfriend and talked to her about the thing Jaehyun also witnessed.

I can taste her lipstick And see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance Every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And, she's perfect

You woke up and your heart missed Taeyong. Did he arrive home safely? Was he alone? Was she with him?

Questions were floating in your head and you just wanted to go home and take a long hot bath.

You unlocked the door and entered your apartment. The second you stepped in, you knew what was waiting for you in the bedroom.

You slowly opened the door and the first thing you saw, were clothes messily on the floor. Your eyes stopped at the black lace bra, it definitely didn’t belong to you.

Your eyes wandered to the bed, she was laying on your bedside, naked.

They were both naked under the sheets, still asleep after last night.

He fucked her in your bed.

There was a wine bottle on the floor with two wine glasses.

It was over, you held onto something which was over for a long time now. Your luggage was in your closet, you pulled it out and started packing.

Taeyong woke up to the sounds of your sniffing and packing. He rubbed his eyes and looked to his side, Miyeon was next to him but the sounds didn’t come from her. He sat up and looked through the room and his eyes finally landed on your small figure. “Y/n?” he stuttered. You ignored him and when he finally understood what was happening, he got up and put on his clothes. “I-it’s not what it looks like… I-I… what are you doing? Y/n? Please listen to me.” He begged you as he bend down to you. “Stop packing… don’t do that please, just listen to me.”

“I’m not even saying anything, Taeyong. I am listening. You can say whatever you want, it’s just that you don’t have anything to say because it is as clear as water.” You still didn’t look at him as you continued packing.

“I’m sorry, I am so sorry okay, it’s just a one-time thing, I was so drunk last night-“ he lied to you, nothing new. You scoffed, “And you still choose to lie. I’m not dumb, Taeyong. I know everything.” For the first time in weeks, you looked him in the eyes. “Y-you knew? W-Why didn’t you say anything?” his body trembled after your confession. “The actual question is: why didn’t you just break up with me?”

“I can’t break up with you- I need you! Please believe me.” He begged again.

“You don’t need me. Look at me Taeyong, I’m not angry. I understand. You deserve so much more than me. I tried to be like her, I really tried. But you don’t want me. You want her, and I understand. I’m sorry for holding you back-“

“No! Don’t- just, don’t say things like that! You’re so pretty and cute and…” he stuttered, it was his last chance to tell you that. “I need you please, please, don’t go. Don’t leave me.” He started crying. “Why are you crying? I’m not going to hold you back anymore. You finally got what you wanted.”

You left the apartment with all of your things that day. You didn’t even know where to go. The first thing you did was crying loudly in your car, the next thing you did was driving to Jaehyun and his girlfriend.

Two weeks later, you found a little apartment, far away from Taeyong. You moved in with the help of Jaehyun and his girlfriend.

Two months passed and you were hanging out with Jaehyun and his girlfriend again, even Jungwoo Mark and Johnny came to visit you. They were on your side and supported you fully. They never mentioned Taeyong, for which you were thankful.

But if you only knew how much Taeyong was suffering right now.

That day you left Taeyong, Miyeon listened to your conversation and knew that Taeyong would never love her like he loved you. He begged you to stay with him, even though he had promised Miyeon to leave you. Miyeon and Taeyong’s relationship ended the same day.

Every night, Taeyong looked at your pictures and cried himself to sleep. Your side on the bed was always cold, the space on the couch was always empty and even at work, he felt lonely.

One day, he and Jaehyun got into a fight. “You have no idea how much she suffered because of your stupid ass. You can’t act like you got cheated on!” Jaehyun yelled.

“I know that! I know that I hurt her- that I cheated on her… but I miss her, Jaehyun.” Taeyong cried out. “It’s not just about the cheating, Taeyong. You didn’t value her. She did so much for you but still, she wasn’t enough for you.”

“She’s more than enough- and I don’t deserve her,” he sobbed, “I’m a heartless jerk, and she’s perfect.“

SEQUEL: die for you

[mayyourshipsbewithyou]

Things I loved about In the Heights

-The sounds of the city are part of the music of the opening song

-The frame story is the only way this story should be told; the story only works if it shows the results of Usnavi's decision to stay

-Anthony and Lin shaking hands

-Yay to random mixed race couple asking for directions

-“I hope you’re writing this down I’m gonna test you later” only makes sense with kids

-Showing different residents of Washington Heights provides scale

-I’m not sure about the decision to cut Camila, but if it means less Nina drama, then I love it

-I love how Usnavi has his friends’ orders all ready to go

-LOVE how Usnavi announces Benny’s entrance

-Everything about Vanessa in this movie is perfect=> she’s given so much more depth, her beauty is downplayed, she’s kind of a nerd, but has a beautiful smile

-Nina’s heels=> metaphor for her reaching for the stars

-I love the actress that plays Nina; she’s the right age and her singing voice is so sweet

-Nina’s hair is straight when she’s at school; as soon as she comes home, it’s curly=>she can be herself at home

-When Nina turns around and sees the crowd of people counting on her=> I felt that

-I love seeing Nina get her acceptance letter; I remember what that was like for my brother

-Camila must have died while Nina was at college in this version; Nina lost her mother recently which helps explain her different reason for dropping out; she feels lost

-I don’t know why Sonny is using this deep voice, but I love it!

-Whoever decided to have 96,000 take place at the pool is a genius

-The graphics at the beginning of 96,000 are good for helping regular people understand the rap

-Pete just put his arm around Sonny=> are they dating?

-Sonny yelling 96,000 as he enters the pool=> the sound design

-Pete nodding along to Usnavi=> sucking up to the family

-Usnavi is such a proud cousin-uncle during Sonny’s part in 96,000

-Vanessa making her “I'll be downtown” walk down a ramp

-The dancer doing flips is now a diver doing spins into the pool

-On stage, the lighting was dark; in the movie, it’s underwater

-The circles of people in the pool reflect the zeros in 96,000

-Lin and Chris being rivals is perfect; their bromance is everything

-Nina and Benny being together before the events of the movie means they are the beta couple and have less drama than Usnavi/Vanessa which is how it should be

-Benny joins in during “on that fire escape”=> like West Side Story

-Benny’s “Let me in” against the fence is hilarious

-Nina and Benny are FUN, not angsty like in the original

-Nina following the little girl=> following herself, following her dreams which eventually lead her to the sea; all of this is done while she’s talking about her past

-Nina and Benny instrumental™ part 1 in the middle of “When You’re Home”, Benny interrupts=> their story isn't complete yet

-Benny says he believes in her without discounting her feelings

-Everyone loving Nina=> I finally get it

-Nina is home geographically and with people who love her

-Benny is Nina’s home

-In the Heights is about how dreams are great, but the life you have now can be so beautiful

-Nina’s hair during the dinner/club scene is great

-Usnavi is wearing his dad’s hat for his date with Vanessa; he knows that she is to him what his mom was for his dad

-Family dinners are the same in every culture

-Awkwardness of long-time friends going on a date

-Vanessa offers Usnavi his first drink of the night; he thinks that’s what she wants; because why would she want him and only him?

-Usnavi whispering in Vanessa’s ear is so sexy

-Love that Benny is on Nina’s side instead of being mad at her

-I wonder if they thought 5 years of Benny working for Kevin was too much or too little since they changed that line to "all these years"

-Benny’s reactions to Vanessa dancing at the club are hilarious

-Vanessa laughing at Usnavi dancing with someone else

-Nina is always smiling and laughing at the things going on around her; not as self centered

-Nina and Benny dancing at the club=> all of the yeses

-Usnavi is too nervous about being alone with Vanessa that he un-dated himself; he wasn’t quite ready

-Love that they consciously cut all the “Usnavi, help me” parts=> Vanessa is not a victim

-Fireworks are a romantic setting for Sonny and Pete, just saying

-Usnavi/Benny/Nina talking about the fourth member of their square gives me feelings; I need more of these four in fanfic, my dreams

-“I got to wait for Vanessa”=> the stuff dreams are made of

-Benny is such a good person; he’s even better than the original which is what he deserves

-Usnavi is relieved to have Vanessa call his name

-“Don’t walk away from us tonight”=> great addition

-To give Usnavi and Vanessa some of Nina and Benny’s original lines is to see the face of God

-The first time I saw this, I’m ashamed to admit, I thought Benny was going to steal money from the dispatch; I was a fool

-Dancer with fireworks on his shoes

-Benny is smart and good; he isn’t doing this for Kevin or Nina but for the people of New York

-Abuela was able to see stars again on the last night of her life

-I’m sad Blackout isn’t exactly the same but the orchestral parts that cover up what is unsaid is so beautiful it makes up for it

-Abuela’s family is her “fireworks”; they are what light up the Heights

-Sonny came to Usnavi instead of being with his dad during the blackout; his real family

-Abuela’s smile as she looks at her family while reflecting on her childhood is the most beautiful thing there will ever be

-Paciencia y Fe as a dream sequence is how it was meant to be

-The transition on the subway from reality to memory

-Paciencia y Fe is a mixture of cultures; like Abuela’s memories

-“Wide awake”=> stepping off the subway

-The same actress played Abuela on Broadway and in the movie

-Abuela may be in a musical, but she’s still an old woman

-“As I feed these birds”=> back to the present

-Calor means heat in Spanish but in English it sounds like color

-Abuela dying during the night of the blackout is perfect

-Usnavi saying “she was just here” twice: when she was literally just there and many years, maybe a decade, after the fact

-Usnavi’s daughter is the life that goes on after Abuela is gone

-Usnavi and Nina crying together

-Those closest to Abuela are inside and everyone else is outside

-Iris was sitting on the outside and now she’s in the middle; needed comfort from her friends

-“Should we take a break?”=> we’re past the point of an intermission

-“No daddy, keep going”=> does this look like a stage production to you? It’s a fucking movie

-There isn’t a clear point for an intermission; the action stays strong over where the intermission should be; this is a movie, not a play, and movies don’t have intermissions

-Everyone’s holding candles; like the stars Abuela loved so much

-Iris called Usnavi Daddy for the first time because that was the point in the story where he needed to hear that the most

-“I thought about the people I care about the most, I thought about you”

-Anthony makes Usnavi sexy in a way Lin never could

-So many people love Vanessa, but no one better than Usnavi

-Abuela paid to have Camila's napkins cleaned after all

-Usnavi is the kind of parent that doesn’t sugarcoat life

-Vanessa listed no emergency contacts even though she had people

-“That’s senorita to you”=> yes girl, get it

-Love Daniela for getting everyone out of their asses

-“Tonteria” means foolishness=> the more you know

-How fast Carla says no to “ask me why” shows how quickly she wants to please her love

-Usnavi’s Nueva York t-shirt=> I need it

-Daniela’s first effect being on a woman whose hair is terrible

-Carla pushing that man away from her woman with a bullshit excuse

-My friend was laughing at the parts that were meant to be jokes

-Usnavi’s entrance being announced in Carnaval del Barrio; just like Benny in the opening song

-“There’s nothing holding me down”=> assuming he was rejected

-The different communities dancing with their flags

-Nina being part of Carnaval del Barrio is great

-Even Kevin, kind of an old man, can get down

-Since Nina and Benny sex scene wasn’t shown on screen (praise Jesus), I have to assume Nina told Daniela even though she knows she’s a huge gossip

-Everyone stops because Sonny, a kid, starts singing

-Vanessa and Sonny are so powerful together

-Vanessa’s hand on Sonny’s shoulder

-A kid providing Usnavi with the “flag I’ve got in my hand”

-Usnavi and Vanessa dancing together is muy romantico

-Everything about Nina’s appearance in “When the Sun Goes Down”

-“Let me just listen to my block”=> peak Nina

-Abuela wrote “for Usnavi” on her lotto ticket 😭

-They cut so many songs but kept Champagne=>I love their priorities

-The pause before “you outta stay”

-Everyone has such great chemistry; especially Usnavi and Vanessa

-The choreography in Champagne is what I’ve always imagined

-Usnavi didn’t have time to cash in because Vanessa came over

-Vanessa and Pete friendship for the win

-“Best days of my life” is said thrice=> good things come in threes

-Usnavi staring at the room where Vanessa kissed him

-Iris knows he stayed; she loves her dad so much

-Usnavi looking out his window in Washington Heights and seeing his friends on his dad’s beach

-When Usnavi talks about Kevin at the dispatch, the camera flashes to an abandoned building

-“Vanessa at the salon”=> Usnavi sheds a tear

-Vanessa being front and center during Usnavi’s decision to stay

-Hearing the sounds of the beach during the unveiling

-It’s all about Vanessa=> perfection

-Lin being at the ending is perfect no matter the context

-“Say it so it doesn’t disappear”=> the sad reality is your neighborhood probably will disappear

-Usnavi telling his daughter “you’re it” is everything

-Iris understanding all of the little details of her father’s store now that she knows his story

-Iris is the goddess of the rainbow like the light that appears when water appears on a sunlit day

-“Man, you talk forever”=> that’s so “How I Met Your Mother”

-Iris has a necklace of seashells, like the islands

-Vanessa would sooner get wet than let go of Usnavi’s hand

[abbynx]

La Squadra Esecuzione as Best Friends Headcanons

Formaggio - Very chill, first and foremost, he is down for anything to do. Videogames? He'll try to beat your ass. Cat cafes? Heck ye he is down - The type of friend who will coax you to cut class to hang out behind the school or climb over the school fence to hang around the local arcade or theatre. But if he get caught, he won't snitch and he's willing to take responsibility. Begrudgingly. - Ohhhh physical touch is bare minimum for him. He'll occasionally lean on you, perhaps shrink himself to fit himself in your pocket just to platonically cuddle and perhaps, use you as a transport. - Will high five you as a greeting, and will high five you as a farewell. Usually followed by a hug too uwu "Bro!" He holds his hand out for a high five, in which you instinctively grant him one, when he also entwines his fingers through yours and pulling you for a hug, patting your back for a second and pulling away. "I missed you bro!" - Prepare for dumb jokes, dumb puns that he effortlessly come up with as time goes by. You can't go on a day without him cracking a joke. You'd either roll your eyes at it or laugh along with him. There's nothing in between "You see that guy over there, bro?" He leans on you, arm draped around your shoulder as he points at a person from afar. "Yeah, what?" "I say... You'd be a perfect match." You glanced at him, hearing him shake a box of matches as he wiggled his eyebrows with a dumb grin. - *Finger guns and bro intensifies* Illuso - That weird person you don't see yourself associating yourself with somehow befriended him for some reason. Most likely started when you both started to wake up at 3 AM and meet in the middle of the dark, in the kitchen, wanting to grab something to eat. At first it is awkward, but soon you learned to bond through it! And soon enough, your midnight chats extended to become actual friendships! - Seems distant, but he cares. He's the type pretend not to care about you, but will glare (or more than glare depending at the severity) at people who hurt you. He is the 'I'm the only one allowed to insult them like that' type of friend. "Huh, Formaggio hasn't been teasing me. I wonder what happened." You wondered aloud, as you say beside your friend Illuso. "Must be because of his bruised jaw. The previous mission must've been tough for him." "Yeah... That..." - Probs touched-starved. He acts irritated and push you away when you try to hug him, but secretly loves it. If you stop trying to hug him, he'd be kinda sad but will not say anything. - This friendship includes you listening to him rant about every little thing, and brag about things he can't do. He appreciates you listening to be honest, and that's initially how your friendships started anyways. - Will use derogatory terms as a term of endearment. Please don't be offended, he doesn't mean any offense "Hey idiot! Get your sorry ass right here! Risotto said we have someone to take care of!" "Thanks, dumbass." "Eyo slut! Take a look at this fugly idiot!" - Does not have the habit of knocking. In fact, he just barges into your room, through the mirror. In more than one occasion has he seen you undressed but he couldn't care less about it. "Hey dumbass can I borrow your— hey, stop screaming! Anyways I ran out of hair ties, do me a solid—" - Everyone around you being confused to how you two are most unlikely to become friends, but you two are practically unlikely twins Prosciutto - You can not stop me from assuming he is quite the mom friend if you pry his shell hard enough. Perhaps a mom friend mixed with tsundere friend. "Hey! Drink your water or I'll break your ankles! No I don't care that we're in the middle of killing someone! I packed you some water and you didn't drink it! Well shit I didn't pack it specifically for you, I just managed to pack extra! Now go ahead and drink, I'll handle this one myself! While you're at it, coat yourself with sunscreen! If I hear you whining about being burnt, I swear to God—" - If you happen to be a mom friend too, you'd be bonding over the

mutual stress of having to look over the rest of the gang over a glass of wine as chaos around you ensues because you two decided to take a small break. "Formaggio and Ghiaccio is up at it again..." You sigh, swirling the content of your stemware as the distant bickering of the two aforementioned assassins echoed. "Just... Let's just lay low. It'll be over soon." Prosciutto sighs along as well, before downing his glass of whiskey. "Hopefully." And it didn't end, as it ensued and progressive got worse. Stands were called, knives were thrown, guns were shot. And two mom friends of La Squadra almost lost their voice from all the yelling and lecturing - Will scold you for your bad habits. Bad posture? He will walk behind you, press his knee on your back and roll your shoulders back whilst he lectures you about it. Messy time management? Will buy you crap to make you keep track of time. Sleeping so late? He will take whatever you're distracted with, demand you to turn your lights off as he lights soothing scented candles and tossing you some comfortable blankets to use. Barely taking care of yourself? Bro prepare yourself. "I don't understand how you live like this! You'd be dead if you were to continue that habit! At least help me help you to make you be better!" - Very blunt and honest to the point it stings, but he never lies to people he is closed to. He prefers being upfront with his loved ones and will try to rebuild their confidence and reassure them that they can be better than what they are. "When I say you're idiotic, you're but a burden, I mean it. You have all rights to be hurt by it, but don't just live with it. Prove me wrong, that you can be better than that and you'll be the best version of yourself. I know you can do it." - Will accept hugs, but will most likely not hug back. Maybe he'll just out one hand on your back and lightly stroke it, but that's it. But in rare occasions, he will return them too. Sometimes, he'll even initiate it. - Your connection to him as a friend has lead several advantages. No one in general can make a negative comment about you with Prosciutto around. His glare alone was scary and they would not wish to stick around and find out what he can do than just glaring. - Extremely appreciates when you help him around by simply carrying things for him, fetching him coffee and actually doing your damn job properly is enough to make him be filled with gratitude. Pesci - Baby. Okay, so this boy. Boy oh boy, he is baby. Take care of him, bro. Don't coddle him to the point of him being entirely dependent on you, but sis you can always reassure and make him improve himself! Perhaps a tamer version of his relationship with his brother. - You two will mostly likely be friends because you always defend him from the others from teasing him and rooting for him. He is very grateful for it and can't thank you enough. Either that, or Prosciutto paid you to babysit him. - Will constantly cling on your arm when he's anxious. It's up to you whether you'll snap at him and slap his hand away, or just let him hang around you. He'll just simply grab your wrist, and sooner and later he'd have his body pressed against yours, completely clinging on the entirety of your arm. "D-don't leave me, Y/N! I'm scared—!" - He is extremely thankful for you watching over him and protecting and by this, he tries to improve himself a lot more just so he can confidently say he can watch over you and protect you as well - Just the sweetest little thing, whenever he'd be away with Prosciutto for a mission he'd return home bearing gifts from travel and he'd give it to you. It would be something either miniature, or something practical like a knife sharpener or something. "I-I got this for you... I hope you like it! Big bro helped me pick!" - Honestly, I can imagine him just being the best, supportive and encouraging friend there could be. If ever you needed someone to confide in, he'd just sit and listen and will certainly not repeat what you told him to others. He'll try his best to comfort

you, taking inspiration to how you comfort him and will just try his best to make you feel better. "I know life is rough and hard and bad, but you always told me it will change and soon it all be over and better. It's good that you recognise you're in a bad place, now you need to take a break and then later you won't even know you've already forgotten your problem! It's okay to be sad, too, but not for too long." - The type of friend that will share anything he has. He has a cookie with him? Shit, he'll split it in half and give the other half to you. Some soda? Well I hope you don't mind drinking from the same can as he is, he will give it to you. Melone - So this nerd isn't a complete creepy pervert, not entirely at all. He's chill for most of the time, so he's a neat company if you don't mind him bombarding you with questions regarding your genetics, heritage records, blood type, zodiac signs and whatnot. But knows when to stop. - You most likely befriended him because he is one of the chill people in the group... Somewhat. Or perhaps you just started to bond over mutual love for steamy, erotic novels from the same author. If this man has shame, his guilty pleasures would be reading these types of trashy novels filled with smut. - He is great as a wingman. Complain to him about your lack of a love life, he'll observe your types and he'll somehow come up with a list by the next day enthusiastically listing them to you in a PowerPoint presentation. "If you're into girls, I have this one right here! She's compatible with your zodiac sign, although she has quite the temper she can be extremely passionate and affectionate— or perhaps you're into men, that I have as well. Several, actually. This other fellow right here is also a part of Passione from the Human trafficking branch, stoic and quite a stern one, but knows when to lay low at times and appreciate those around him— either him or the girl, you'd make good babies together!" "Melone, what the fuck—" - Very touchy. He'd lean his head on your lap as you both read on the couch, or randomly put his head on your shoulder during meetings, grab you by the arm while crossing the road, smacking your ass as a greeting (if you tell him stop, he'd stop of course), will pretend to kiss you just so he can see your reaction, anything. He is one affectionate nut that he sometimes forget about personal spaces. If you're not particularly fond of being touched like I am, simply tell him nope. I mean, he'd be sad but will respect your boundaries. The only time he'll actually respect established boundaries, to be honest. - Knows the most random facts and will share them to you for the fun of it. Additional to that, he will also mutter his shower thoughts and random cursed facts out loud just so he can curse you with the knowledge and confusion. "Did you know that dolphins masturbate using dead fishes? Also, there was an experiment involving dolphins in which one of the scientist fell in love and had sex with it. Another fact, is that dolphins are also seen doing the deed—" "Okay, Melone, I get it! Dolphins aren't as innocent as they seem! Stop ruining it for me already!" ... "Did you know that a woman once used mayonnaise as a lubri—" "MELONE!" - Being his friends meaning being his impulse control. If he intends to use his Stand on some innocent passerby just for the heck of it (for science, as he claims), smack him by the wrist and glare at him. If he eyes a particular someone for too long that the person gets too uncomfortable, try to divert his attention away. "Ow! Y/N what the heck—!" "What did I told you about oogling at people? It's impolite and creepy, stop that!" - He may not seem like it, but bro he cares a lot. If ever you had a problem, he'd sit and listen, offer you his shoulder to cry on, and perhaps hang out to divert your attention away from what's bothering and hurting you. And if you need advice, he'll try his best to come up with a flawless solution to your problems. But if comfort is what you need, his arms are open baby. Ghiaccio

- Bro you must need emergency ear plugs for this one, he is a massive screamer, a ticking time bomb with no timer that will erupt at random. If ear plugs aren't enough, cover your ears. - Befriending him was an impulse control befriending him. Well, all you did was to constantly try to calm his tits and cool his head to the point he actually barges in your room to hang out so that he can cool his head from all of the shenanigans occuring all around him, or maybe he just had another thought about something maddening about the world. "WELL WHY?! WHY IS WOMEN'S CLOTHES SIZING CHART DIFFER FROM EACH STORE?! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! INCHES AND CENTIMETRES EXISTS FOR A REASON, DAMNIT!" - There are moments where he isn't screaming, thankfully and he's a decent person to talk to. If you're a listener, he'll do the talking, just ranting about things, rambling on and on, before complaining, and then another outbursts comes out. By this, you simply sigh, put a hand on his shoulder and talk to him in a gentle, calming voice. It usually does the trick. Formaggio and Melone joked about this talent of yours as witchcraft. - He appreciates you a lot and honestly doesn't know what to do without you and by that, he knows he has to reciprocate the care you give him somehow to show he is grateful of your friendship and care. He isn't the type to be physically affectionate, but he is extremely thoughtful about his closed loved onesa and prefers to be practical about it. He would save you your seat in meetings, fetch you snacks if he ran out for an errand, etc etc. Extremely observant of your mannerisms, that he might point that out to you and you won't even realise you do that. - So like, he is very protective as a friend. He will do something whenever someone has wronged you in any way. The others teasing you? Bam, he'll shoot them back with a witty insult. Your s/o cheated on you? Ohohoho boi, be prepared to see their name on a headline on the daily news. Your order was wrong? Bam, he'll have the waiter shaking in fear from a screaming, angry Italian mafioso as he demands for them to remake your order correctly. "WELL CAGACAZZO?! QUIT STANDING AROUND AND GET ORDERS CORRECTLY—" "G-Ghiaccio it's just a minor thing, let it go—" "THEY SERVED YOU AN INGREDIENT YOU SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM NOT TO INCLUDE BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO IT! WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS SLIDE OFF?!" - All in all, he's just glad you're there for him because damn, someday his temper is going to get the best of him and he doesn't know what to do. And with your friendship, he's learned how to cope with his spontaneous anger by carrying soothing stuff to ease his nerves (courtesy of your suggestions and gifts for him) - Basically the dynamic of a rapid gremlin with rabies and a calm, sunshine personified angel. Everyone (Riz, including, but he's more subtle and dry about it) joked about the unlikely friendship, and how your ears must've lost a little bit of hearing capacity. Rissoto - I feel like he'd be extremely attached to a childhood friend. You've been friends since before you underwent the drastic change by going through a lot to get to where he is now, and still the only person that stuck around with him was you. By that, you became the most trusted by him due to the fact you've known each other for very long. - As his best friend, you're his confidant and finds himself often going to you if ever he needed advice, or needed to vent about his stress. He really isn't vocal but when he's confiding in you, his words spill out of his mouth usually sealed tightly just steadily flows, his big strong Capo veneer falls apart in front of you but he doesn't necessarily feel unsafe by being vulnerable. That's how he trusts you. - No one will dare to bad mouth you in front of the Capo, or else there'd be hell to pay for. I mean, teasing is fine, he knows you can handle burns from team mates here and there (and will silently smirk at it) but he will not stand it if they attempt to belittle you for something unreasonable. "Watch your mouth. That was

out of their control, stop blaming them for something they can't do." - The type of friend that doesn't know how to comfort someone, but will try their best. So as you spill your heart out, tears, snot, sweat and all, he'll just pull you to his chest and awkwardly pat your shoulders to get you calm and comforted. Not to mention, he is extremely stiff at the hug and is very unsure what words to say to you to not upset or offend you any further, so he'll just ride it out smoothly, and let you let it all out on his chest. It's not like he can't wash your tears, snot and sweat on his chest anyways. - Since he is very non-vocal, he's a good listener so rant all the way! Complain about the weather, about your lack of love life, about how underpaid the hitmen team is, anything! He won't find the perfect response, so he'll just nod along and perhaps comment occasionally on what your saying. "So like, ugh, I am soooo frustrated at how Prosciutto could say that to Pesci! He makes a good point, but it's redundant for him to be too harsh on him! Look, all I'm saying is, maybe Prosciutto should start choosing his words correctly so that Pesci won't feel too upset! You know???" You glanced at your friend, as he simply sat attentively beside you. He nods silently as a response. "Anyways—" - Extremely great at deduction and the way he reads people so easily is so unreal. And so he uses this to his advantage to know what's up with you whenever you seemed off. By this, he's able to tell whenever you're upset but scared to talk about it, frustrated but too busy to talk about, etc etc. And with this, he takes the time to drag you to take a seat, and talk about what's been bothering you. If you don't wish to talk about it at all, he'll let you be after with a reassurance that you can overcome whatever the heck you're going through. - Everyone is surprised that you two aren't married??? That you're just friends??? The way you two look just makes you two look like a couple and it boggles the others how you two aren't one.

[pedropascallovebot]

had to repost this because my internet is awful but huzzah i have returned from a writing hiatus i have been doing nothing but reading sambucky fics and i decided to curse the world with a bucky x reader even though no one asked me to. you may now put me in exile.

-

Bucky likes the smell of the candles you burn in your apartment, even though he swears to you that you have to stop forgetting to blow them out before you go to sleep. He knows that your record player in the corner collects a bunch of dust. He remembers laughing when you had defended yourself when he joked about your devastatingly low vinyl count- "I swear, I do use it! But look me in the eye and tell me Spotify isn't more convenient." He likes the various little crystals and stones you have scattered on your windowsill, even if he doesn't know anything about that stuff. Bucky really likes your bookcase, though. You told him upon his first visit to your place that you thrifted it for an absolute bargain, and it appears that it's been put to good use, given there's not a single place on the shelf for another book to fit without stacking some on top of one another. Most of all, he likes that you’re there. He’s only known you for a short period of time, and he gets that nothing is really official yet… but he likes you. He can’t say it out loud to himself yet, but his therapist definitely knows your name.

All throughout his horrible, miserable, no good bad day, Bucky is thinking about how warm and safe your apartment feels, and consequentially, he's thinking about you. He knows he's got it bad, but there's little to be done about it when his brain starts screaming profanities at him whenever he dares dwell on the thought of your face for too long. He misses you, though. Especially when he's nursing some embarrassment and frustration caused by a group of anarchists pushing him out of a moving truck. He wants so desperately to call and check to see how you're doing, what you're up to, but by the time Sam's got him back home it's nearly one in the morning and he shouldn't wake you. Right? He should lock his door, hang up his jacket, and settle in for a long night of doing nothing but scrolling through the guide of all the weird movies his cable company is playing. He shouldn't be halfway down the stairs of his apartment building to walk across town in the middle of the night to come see you.

But it's inevitable that he ends up at your front door. That annoying yelling in his brain is back, telling him that he should just go home before he knocks and wakes you up, but his hand is already rapping on the wood and he can hear scrambling from the other side of the door. It was only then he realized it might of been a good idea to call ahead, because God, what kind of person is answering the door this late, and who's to say you don't already have someone there already, and fuck, fuck, fuck, it's not too late to just hide behind the big artificial tree that the apartment complex put up for decoration-

You open up right before he can entertain that thought. You look like an absolute angel, he thinks. You’re in some t-shirt that’s way too big for you, and your eyes smile when you see him. But from what he can tell, you're tired. Maybe he did wake you up, and he feels that familiar pinch of guilt in his chest.

"I was, uhm.. in the neighborhood," he starts, his hands very focused on the loose thread of his jacket sleeve. "figured I'd stop by and see how you were."

And there goes your eyes again, kind and soft and welcoming, something that Bucky isn't really used to feeling yet. He's being ushered in, and suddenly realizes the television is still on. The guilt subsides knowing he didn’t wake you.

"You should absolutely be sleeping right now, but I'll let it slide because I miss you," you smile, and Bucky knows he's a goner when you press a kiss to his cheek before shutting the door behind him.

“So should you.” Then, a quiet “I miss you too.”

"Want some tea? Or some coffee? I've got the kettle going with some hot water and I was planning on making some sleepytime tea, but I think I've got a few packets of that instant espresso crap buried if you don't wanna wait for the coffee pot to brew..."

You trail off into a comfortable silence for a minute as he watches as you grab a box of the celestial seasonings that you always kept in stock, the one with the bear sitting by the fireplace. Feeling inclined to help, Bucky attempts to step foot in the kitchen and grab a couple of mugs before immediately being banished to the living room, where he then listened to your rant about how he looked like he just got run over by a moving vehicle, and how he should sit down. Well, you were kinda right. You go to drop a couple of teabags into hot water, but not before you warn him to get on the couch before he falls asleep standing up.

He doesn't follow directions very well, because his feet lead him over to your bookshelf, where you've got some sort of scented wax over a tea light. Eyes trailing over the numerous books you have, he recognized a few. A Farewell to Arms, Main Street, and the two copies you had of The Great Gatsby. He knows you have a love-hate relationship with Harry Potter, but all seven of the books sat at eye level, a bit faded from countless rereads as soon as the weather got colder and you needed something cozy and familiar.

His gaze is caught on one book in particular; one that he thought about earlier today, before a teenager punched the living daylights out of him and before Walker and his unbearably chirpy sidekick made his day go from bad to worse. The Hobbit sat tucked away to the left of The Lord of the Rings, and Bucky reached out and gently pulled it from the row. It wasn't the same cover as the one he had at his apartment- yours had drawn trees and mountains, with runes lining the edges of the illustration. His own copy had what he assumed was a still from the movie adaptation, something he never bothered to watch. He still felt compelled to buy the book when he saw it sitting on the shelf at a store.

"I already called dibs on the Star Wars mug," you joked, heading out into the living room carrying two mugs of tea. "You're gonna have to drink from the-"

"Can you read to me?"

He does feel bad for interrupting you, but to be fair, the words slipped out before he could even stop them. He feels his nerves swell up a bit before you answer him, and the book in his hands feels heavier than it should.

You set the tea down on the small table at the end of the couch before switching on the lamp, offering the room some light which was previously only provided by a few candles, the kitchen, and the glow from the television. You switch that off, too, and the nerves that Bucky was sure were radiating off him melt away.

“Only if you stop standing ten feet away and come cuddle me while I do.”

When you spoke, it took Bucky all of two seconds to make his way to the couch, grabbing the blanket he knows you love and draping it over the both of you as you trade him his tea for the book.

“Teasing me about wanting to read The Hobbit is off the table, doll.” Bucky drapes an arm over your shoulder, making himself comfortable. “A friendly reminder it sits on your bookshelf.”

He hears you giggle and he’s in absolute awe of how much he wants to kiss you. Sure, you both have done plenty of that over the course of time he’s known you, but there’s something about you sitting in his arms with a book he knows so well open in front of you. Home.

“I’ll admit, it’s been a while since I’ve read this, my knowledge of Middle Earth is a bit spotty.”

“I’m willing to bet it’s been even longer for me,” he jokes, but there’s still a sting when he says it. Bucky pushes it aside.

“Alright, old coot. Let’s start from the beginning.”

-

“The dark filled all the room, and the fire died down, and the shadows were lost, and they still played on.”

It takes Bucky all of five minutes and a few sips of tea to get him tired before he’s placing his cup down and resting his head on your shoulder, and you’re almost down for the count, ready to retire to your bed. But you only have about ten pages until the end of the chapter and Bucky is way too good of a pillow to even think about moving. The dwarves start to sing their song, and if you’re remembering correctly, this is when things really start to get good. You debate if you want to continue, but then you look down and see Bucky absolutely zonked, and your mind is made up. You yawn and set the book on the table before reaching over and shutting off the lamp, attempting not to wake up the sleeping figure next to you.